I will not be specific as I want to remain anonymous out of fear of this being discovered by whoever is mentioned here.
As of right now, I am an autistic high schooler (with potential/undiagnosed BPD) being forced to take band and marching band by my parents. I have all A's and a perfect GPA of 4. Don't get me wrong, my parent and their current romantic partner are fine. I have a roof over my head and food on my plate. The thing is, doing band has made me miserable and I can't quit, but I don't know if it's my fault or theirs.
Right now, I am unable to quit either of these programs because my parent and their partner (I'll call them P1 and P2) literally overlook the entire program. P1 is the band director and partner. P2 is the colorguard director and my bio parent.
I've been forced to do marching band since I was 8. It's an understatement to say that I hate it. The people there are fine. It's playing the instrument and performing that really ticks me off.
I've been forced to do band class itself since 6th grade (during COVID times, you can imagine how that turned out, right?) I still hate it. In 8th, I managed to convince a legal guardian of mine to not make me sign up for band class. When I broke the news, P2 accused me and LG of "conspiring against them." But, in all honesty, after marching season was done that year, the rest of the school year was absolute bliss for me. I got work done so much faster because I never had to worry about music. I did so many personal projects on top of all my school work which I always finished in class. I made more friends not doing band. I felt so good.
Fast forward to now and I dread the upcoming HS years with a burning passion. I don't even get a full summer break as band camp stretches all through July to the beginning of school in August. 9am to 4pm days of nothing but music, and I loathe it. Playing music is my kryptonite. It's the one subject I can't wrap my head around. Math? Easy. Reading? Even easier. Hell, I'd rather write a 5 page essay every week rather than attend band camp. It just doesn't click for me like other subjects.
But my reasons fall on deaf ears. To quote P2 "You like listening to music, playing it shouldn't be any different!" (Yes, they said that. Yes, it's as stupid as it sounds.)
P2's reason of forcing me into band programs is still unclear to me. If it's because I'm a hermit, I made friends in literally any other place than the band room. In fact, I feel more ignored there even when I try to participate in conversation. With every other student, P1 is oh so friendly, laughs with them, and whatnot. But when I open my mouth all I get is a "yeah" or "ok" before they turn around and talk to the other students (which are all mostly cishet white males with the exception of two people.) I honestly just started to shut my mouth again after that. It's also not fun living with that same person.
If their reason was because band could get me a good education, I'm completely capable of that on my own. Like I said, I have a perfect GPA of 4. I'm certain I can do almost anything. And yes, there are a multitude of things I would absolutely persue if band didn't take up my time. Art is my specialty. I've been practicing since a very young age and I've become quite decent at it. Writing is another passion. If neither of those work out, I want to do Psychology, science, or learn computer science, coding, and game design.
At this point I'm directed to think P1 is forcing this onto my because my older sibling also did band, but we're two completely different people. I'm not made for band.
If anything, it stresses me out more. It takes me weeks, at worst a month to even learn the music I'm presented with, and most of that time is spent procrastinating because I really can't bring myself to do it. If it has notes, I have to write each letter down or else I'll never ever learn it.
I feel like I'm justified for hating this program the way I do, but I can't tell if I do or if it's just my attitude. Am I in the wrong? If I'm not, what do I do in a situation like this? Telling a counselor most likely wouldn't help because is most likely they won't do anything because of P1, and it's not like the drama will end when I go home. I'll most likely get betrayed by P2 (and I've had enough of that for a lifetime.)
AITAH?

So for context, i am from Norway and back when i was in i want to say 4th grade or 5th grade my English teacher used to put on these episodes of an animated show that would give us lessons in English, with there being a different theme for each episode. Themes could be something like Verbs or Nouns. This would have been back in 2010 or 2011, but i am fairly sure that the show that was being shown was older. I remember that we would follow these people who were travelling, and there would also be some sort of villains involved in the show trying to hunt them down but always failing in each episode. The episodes were between 10-20 minutes i think. I am fairly sure that the show started in a castle, and that the main characters for some reason had to escape and they did so by boats. I also think the final episode ended with the bad guys being taken prisoner in that castle from the first episode.
Feel free to ask if you have additional questions.

Swiatek vs Potapova :

Swiatek had to have been happy with her third round matchup after waking up from the nightmare that Naomi Osaka presented. She made quick work of Bouzkova, who was outmatched in every department. Bouzkova did manage to battle back in the first and make the set close, and she served surprisingly well, but she just doesn’t hit hard enough to beat Swiatek. It was one of those matches where Swiatek looks a bit impatient because she’s supplying all the offense, and it seems like when it takes 3-4 shots to get an opportunity to hit a winner, she tries to just infuse extra pace or spin instead and unforced errors appear. Trying to make the ball explode doesn’t really work, and extra force applied tends to fall short when compared to smooth technique. I watched Rune and Zverev have similar trouble today against their opponents. Players wind up pushing because they hit bigger than their opponent, but don’t want to make errors. It’s accuracy that’s missing, and it’s something for Swiatek to work on in the off-season. I would say that accuracy is the main problem with her serve as well. It has plenty of pace and spin, but the ball lands towards the center of the box way too often. Less pace, and more location will go a long way.
If it feels like I’m levying criticism today, yes. Your turn, Potapova and Wang. Potapova was down 5-0 in the first set, and won 7 games in a row. Wang has a tendency to just go big on her forehand, and she doesn’t stop when she misses. Potapova was an uphill battle, but Wang doesn’t actually need to hit clean winners to score. Her forehand is one of the biggest in the game, and once she locks into a cross-court rally she usually can win provided the ball lands inside the court. Landing the ball inside the court proved difficult, and it felt a bit like watching Struff. All the ability in the world but a sense of urgency that doesn’t really match the moment. Yes you want to stay aggressive, but the weight of shot buys you time in the rally, you don’t need to escape a rally you’re in control of.
Potapova wound up losing the second, and down a break in the third. She dug in admirably, but there were some really poor decisions late in the match. After getting to triple break point by rallying with Wang and keeping the ball deep until Wang missed, she got a simple backhand return off a serve. She went for a clean winner down the line for some reason, and then suddenly the next point mattered. She lost it, and suddenly the “oh F I had it and now it’s gone” fears rose. The game ended up at duece, and she went to tactic B : screaming on every shot. You can’t scream your opponent off the court, so this didn’t really work. In the end, Wang coughed up errors and Potapova won, but it was a match that was managed poorly by both. Potapova was very reactive to misses and makes, which is fine but wastes a bunch of energy and tends to affect your decisionmaking in a readable way. You want to maintain some mystery, and at a minimum not give your opponent any inspiration or hope to work off of while you’re out there.
Swiatek Potapova should be another safe match for Swiatek, but Potapova has good power off both wings and she hits her backhand down the line decent. Swiatek will need more than she brought against Bouzkova, and chances are this won’t be a blowout. Potapova won their last meeting 6-0 in the third on clay, but it was in 2016 at the juniors. Swiatek in 2.

Danilovic vs Vondrousova :

Olga Danilovic has made the 4th round of a major. This changes her career in a major way. Tons of points, at least $250k, and a chance to win more. It’s even sweeter I would imagine because she probably shouldn’t be there. Her match against Donna Vekic was filled with many fumbles. Both players have enough power to hit past the other. Vekic was able to hit inside out forehands to great effect. Danilovic’s pendulum swing on her backhand was able to force errors from Vekic quite often. Her forehand down the line was almost a clean winner anytime she made it. In between all that though, they missed constantly.
The first set was a 6-0 beatdown from Vekic. She played excellent, and likely should have won the second. In the third, she went up a quick break. She gave that back, but broke to serve for the match. Immediately, she threw in a handful of forced dropshots and errors. Luckily, she broke again to serve for the match at 6-5. This gave her the opportunity to come up with a few more bailout dropshots and errors. If you watch highlights, this was an incredible match. If you watched the match, you saw two players whose games were affected by the situation. Vekic forced the issue and missed anytime she got control of the scoreboard, and Danilovic went through bouts of not missing at all followed by sending every ball wide. The tiebreaker was vaguely like watching a junior match. Every miss brought a huge reaction from the player. There were constant gestures and faces made to their boxes, and it was a little difficult to watch two great players struggle to focus and execute. Vekic managed to go up again 6-2 in the tiebreaker, but froze at that point and began hitting most of her shots long. She had trouble serving first serves in for the second half of the entire third set, but she really was unable to respond defensively once Danilovic got a full swing in.
After watching Danilovic down Collins and sort of defeat Vekic, it’s hard to count her out against Vondrousova. Marketa is a clear favorite against most players on clay, but the scorelines of her matches can be hard to predict. Against Paquet she was up a set and cruising up a double break in the second, and wound up back on serve. She closed out, but Vondrousova doesn’t hit that big and mostly thrives by defending and earning errors, so Danilovic will be able to compete. They played in the BJK cup and Vondrousova won in 3, and I’m guessing slower clay will give Vondrousova more of an edge. Vekic’s lack of speed really hurt her, and I think Vondrousova being able to put extra ball consistently in play will make Danilovic’s rough patches more of an issue. The emotional and physical output of Danilovic over the last few rounds has to take a toll, and I think she’ll fall a game or two short here. Vondrousova in 3.

Gauff vs Cocciaretto :

This is an excellent draw for Gauff so far. She’s playing great players, but stylistically they’re not a lot of trouble for her. This round is another good spot. Elisabetta Cocciaretto is a good server and has nice power, but she’s not the fastest around the court and she can make some unforced errors if she’s rushed. This means Gauff’s defense and power give her a great shot to win without trouble. Cocciaretto beating Samsonova was a surprise to me, but Samsonova doesn’t have the speed that Gauff does nor the consistency. This is a criminally short analysis but Gauff in 2.

Tauson vs Jabeur :

Great champions are able to elevate their games. This round, Ons will need to elevate hers. Clara Tauson is playing some great tennis, and coming into this match hers is the higher level. Jabeur was projected to have trouble against Fernandez and she did. It was another match where I felt like a good coach could have gotten their player across the finish line. Fernandez didn’t have a great chance in the first, but Jabeur was very willing to give the second away. Fernandez was able to dig in on defense and rally with Jabeur until she made errors or gave Leylah opportunities. Rather than keep rallying and really punish Jabeur, Fernandez went for winners … and missed them all. I’m not exaggerating here, in the second set she missed almost every offensive shot she went for, and it didn’t feel like she had to go for them. Jabeur hits bigger than Fernandez, so on the court it may have felt like she needed to do a lot, but most of her points come from consistency, so Leylah’s team will want to focus on having her focus on the mental battle going on in her opponent’s head rather than trying to be a big hitter. Physically, it’s just not in the cards for her to be slinging offense. Maybe she landed those same shots in an earlier round, so going for them was fine, but awareness on court is important, and Jabeur was trying to give the set away. After winning, Jabeur celebrated a bit which left me puzzled. It’s natural to be happy when you win, but I feel a little odd about these matches sometimes. Fernandez didn’t land a first serve for the last 20 minutes, threw in a ton of errors, and tried to hit an overhand winner for some reason off a return at 5-5 in the tiebreaker. It was a nice win, but Jabeur made this match hard on herself. I might be in hater mode today and I apologize, but it feels like sometimes players tap their head or pump their fist after overcoming challenges that they themselves created.
Positives for Jabeur were the times she put one extra ball back. She has had a middling season, and seeing her dig in is great. Her racquet skill is some of the best on tour as well, so the gets aren’t just a boost, they’re downright effective. She has the ability to stretch to her forehand and put squash gets back extremely low, and to flick cross-court forehands that seem impossible from how extended her arm is. Jabeur’s depth of talent is why she is still slightly favored in this match, because again, Clara Tauson is coming in at a high level. Tauson beat Ostapenko, and followed it up by putting Kenin through the ringer. Kenin had no chance in the first, but in the second she was able to reel back a break of serve and apply some decent pressure. Frustratingly, she just wasn’t able to execute in the big moments. At 15-30 5-5, Tauson hit a lob that was going a few feet out (to the side). While running backwards, Kenin seemed unaware of where she was in the court. She tried to play it overhead and missed. It was a momentum killer, and she ended up missing the remainder of her offensive opportunities.
Throughout the match, the big difference in the two was Tauson’s ability to score quickly. When she lands first serves, or if you give her a moment to get a full swing anywhere inside the baseline, you are toast. She has the type of power that Anisimova/Collins generate on their backhand, and she has a heavy forehand. That is why I suspect Jabeur will have a tough time winning this quickly. Jabeur has the endurance and variety to frustrate Tauson, but this feels like a battle of two big offenses, and Jabeur’s is a bit less consistent at this point. I want to believe Jabeur wins in 3, but she will need to step up her game and avoid the type of letdown she had in the second against Fernandez. Tauson is several tiers above Leylah and Osorio in terms of offensive opportunities, and both those players were able to get in winning position in at least one set. I’m still going to go with Jabeur in 3. Tauson has beaten some offenses, and some defenses, but Ons is the most complete player she’s faced so it feels very much like “prove it” territory for me.

Arnaldi vs Tsitsipas :

The story in Arnaldi’s match seems to be Rublev’s temper, but don’t let that overshadow Arnaldi’s performance. For me, Rublev’s temper is partially his fault, and partially his team’s. I’m especially sensitive to this after watching the last round, but being reactive to the outcome of points is a bit of a leak. If you are easily moved by events, then you are always able to be moved. It compounds, because if you are really good at something, there is no reason to believe that minor failures will continue, or even matter. It gives your opponent motivation, it wastes your valuable reserves of adrenaline and dopamine (depending on good/bad outcomes), and it’s honestly fairly distracting for an opponent. Just generally speaking, if my opponent is smashing his head with a racquet, I don’t really want to beat him. I’m still going to, but I want to compete and win, I don’t really want to add suffering to someone else. It’s unprofessional, it’s a detriment to his game, and it puts his opponents and umpires in an uncomfortable spot. Of course, he knows this, but it should hit home in this moment that he lost this match because of his lack of composure, and lost it to a player who thrives because of his composure.
Matteo Arnaldi plays steady consistent tennis. He works hard, he constantly works on his game, and he isn’t reactive out there aside from hyping himself up. He beat Fils because of deviations in his level of play and because he made it clear he wouldn’t miss. Fils forced shots and missed because he was unwilling to do the work. He beat Rublev because despite Rublev opening the match hitting clean and crushing winners, he just stayed the course and kept competing. When Christmas disappeared, Rublev noticed, and he did not like it. The crux of the issue is, he did not accept it. If I am upset about the way things are, that is natural. If I grit against the way they are, I suffer. If I accept the way things are, I am (counterintuitively) instantly free to begin working on changing them. It doesn’t mean we celebrate errors or loss, but resetting to the present moment is a major key to winning in professional sports and tennis players in particular have a difficulty with this.
I’m not trying to dump on all these players or attack them here either. All of them are tremendous athletes and are mostly excellent ambassadors and competitors. All of these struggles are natural and we all experiences the highs and lows of competition, but Rublev wants to win and this is something he needs to work on to do that consistently. If his coaches aren’t working on this with him, they’re doing him a disservice. If they are and he isn’t buying into it, he’s doing them a disservice. Everything is fine with Rublev’s game but the holes are clear. He needs more reps at net, he needs to develop dropshots, and he needs to not smash racquets.
For now, it’s Arnaldi vs Tsitsipas. Stefanos has been excellent this event, and he opens as the favorite for a reason. Zhang played solid in round 3, but he was helpless against Tsitsipas. Stef is holding serving quickly, and the speed with which he’s finding a forehand to the open court off of players’ returns is the catalyst of this. His stamina is a major weapon in these conditions and in this format, and his serve/forehand is one of the best left in the event. If Arnaldi wants to win, the plot is simple. Isolate Tsitsipas’ backhand, and get deep in sets. In the late stages of a close set, Tsitsipas is still prone to some shanks. I really do think Arnaldi needs to win the first set to have a shot here, but had Rublev been playing Tsitsipas I think we’d be expecting a somewhat close match so there’s no real argument for Arnaldi to get blown out here. He has a complete game, and he has good discipline. He’s lanky so he might be able to return well, and he can send his backhand down the line so Tsitsipas can’t just camp in his backhand corner. Forehand to forehand though, I think Tsitsipas wins. Losses to Ruud, Jarry, Medvedev make me think that Arnaldi has a bit of a ceiling, but all those were close affairs so Tsitsipas should have his hands full here. Tsitsipas in 4-5.

Alcaraz vs Auger-Aliassume :

Shelton and FAA was fairly hyped, but only Felix delivered. Shelton wasn’t really that bad, but FAA just showed he’s more comfortable on the surface. He faced no break points, and won comfortably in straight sets. His next match will be a lot more difficult, as he plays a version of Carlos Alcaraz that is cruising through the draw without really playing his best tennis. Alcaraz vs Korda was a strange contest. It reminded me a bit of Zverev or Rune playing matches they know they’re going to win. They don’t want to play extra sets, so they play a bit more carefully and just make sure to outlast their opponent. What ends up happening is the score stays close, and the stronger players needs to win a tense tiebreaker or break late in the set. Sure, they still win, but I think that an all-out assault from an earlier moment would allow them to fatigue their opponent.
These guys are all in tremendous shape (even Kotov), but there are levels/paces that they can’t hang at for long. Someone like Alcaraz can push the pace and wear Korda down, and once he breaks from that level, the odds of him winning the next sets easily are more likely. We watched Nadal and Djokovic do this to opponents for a long time, and the late sets were almost always blowouts after frantic openers. We watched Federer do the same thing mentally to opponents with a constant onslaught of offensive shots and tricky slices. If you don’t push the pace to a level your lower-tier opponent can’t hang at, they end up playing at a pace they’re comfortable with and then you play the same level of Korda in set 1 as you do in set 3.
Hater mode continues, but in this case I think it’s all assuming that Alcaraz is totally healthy. If he’s saving his arm for later, he played Korda perfectly. Sebastian continues to battle even with the best players on tour, and in the big moments he doesn’t change his game. 4-4 in a tiebreaker isn’t the time to force anything, but if you’re the underdog and have nothing to lose, it might be a good choice to ratchet up the pace a little, or take some chances. Instead, he seems to throw in rally ball errors. The two forehand misses he had in the tiebreaker were rough, but worse was that they weren’t even shots that were going to score. He was just guiding the ball in straight over the net. I guess in the end, beating Alcaraz, or even playing him even for a time, is a huge ask. It was a great match.
FAA will have his best chance to beat Alcaraz here. Alcaraz’s arm is potentially not 100%, and Korda probably should have won a set. I think the pace alone that Felix brings will wake Carlitos up a bit, and he has beaten FAA the last few times they’ve played so he’ll know which shots to employ and when. Even with his arm a question mark, Alcaraz’s speed around the court and ability to extend rallies are the right assets to score on FAA. Auger-Aliassime’s main issue on tour is that he can overhit forehands and cough up unforced errors. It should be noted also that FAA Shelton was played under a closed roof, which helps Felix’s serve a bit. The weather in Paris looks pretty nice for the rest of the tournament, so it’ll be warm and ideal for Alcaraz to wear him down and isolate his backhand when he can. FAA is good enough to compete at this level, but hasn’t been doing it regularly enough for me to think he can do so here for 3 whole sets. Alcaraz in 4.

Hurkacz vs Dimitrov :

Dimitrov leads this h2h 5-0. All the matches have been close, but you don’t get to 5-0 against Hurkacz unless you can reliably return serve. If you can reliably return serve, you can beat Hurkacz, and on clay it should be even more beneficial. Hurkacz has played excellent in this clay swing considering his status as a servebot, and leading into Wimbledon and the North American swing I think his baseline improves have him primed for some titles. He had a hard test with Shapovalov in round 3, and the new and sort of decent Shapovalov put up a good fight. Dimitrov had an easier time with Zizou Bergs, despite dropping a set. Bergs broke Dimitrov a bunch in this match, but Dimitrov’s slice gave him a lot of trouble. Grigor was content to just keep hitting the court, and it was enough in the end. Bergs had trouble lifting his forehand inside in off of the slice, and it meant going mostly inside out which Dimitrov was only too comfortable with. The quick turnaround is a concern here, but I don’t think the Bergs match was as labor intensive as it could have been. There were numerous rain delays, and the scores were close but only because Dimitrov didn’t redline. He served with control, he hit to big targets, and he secured the bag.
I don’t think Hurkacz gets beaten quickly here, and I don’t think Dimitrov is automatic just because of the h2h. He should win, but Dimitrov lost to Rune/Mensik/Fritz recently and those are all players right around Hurkacz level. If this goes to a 5th, I’d be pretty worried for Dimitrov’s chances. Picking Dimitrov in 4 feels tough, because Bergs got to a 4th and he wasn’t really playing his best today. The h2h is hard to ignore, so I’ll go with Dimitrov in 5. The quick turnaround might leave him tired but he should be able to outduel Hurkacz in most volleys and the low slices will be tough for the big dude to get down on.

Sinner vs Moutet :

Nothing like a seemingly simple one to end a full day of criticizing professional athletes for not being perfect <3. Moutet has been the most entertaining player in this event. He has won and lost lopsided sets, he has gone for every shot possible, he is chatting with the crowd, and he is giving the home country something to believe in. Considering he couldn’t even hit a two-handed backhand for a good chunk of the past year due to wrist surgery, it’s pretty impressive for him to get his game back to a really high level. Ofner was beating him early in the third round, but he was also sweating profusely. The workload of defending against Moutet’s big forehand strokes and his clever dropshots is exhausting, and Ofner’s game dipped as the match went on. It’ll be fun to see Sinner trading with Moutet, and it’ll be another look at his physical ability to see how quickly he moves to the frontcourt and how he defends Moutet’s forehand inside out. Generally with a hip injury, it’s sprinting forward and leaning wide to that side that becomes an issue.
Sinner has sort of entered a big however many group in terms of his results. He is able to beat the lower tier players for the entire match, and is consistently able to do so. There are no holes in his game, and aside from his hip issue there is no reason to think he loses here. Moutet has the game to make this the match of the day, but it feels like he’s spent a lot more time and energy on court and that’ll cost him. Sinner in 3.

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Hey! Ik a lot of the incoming first year engineering students have accepted their offers recently (congrats!) and I thought this may be of use for you guys and some of these can go for any first year student honestly. I learned so so much during my first year and would love to share if it even benefits one person!
- every percent helps! A lot of your mark will be based off the midterm and final, but most classes have room to gain marks in quizzes and homework. Although each one may be worth small (for ex. in pcs each hw is work 0.5%), don't get in the habit of slacking off and overlooking those. Those percents add up and can help you pass your course esp if you do poorly on major assessments. it can be very easy to skip or forget them in the midst of midterm season, but you future self will thank you when your calculating your grade at the end of the semester. Plus its a great way to stay sharp and caught up!
- join clubs. everyone says this but its for a reason!!!! It is an excellent way to meet upper years and learn from them, as well as gain skills and opportunities that set you apart from peers. You can also add it to your LinkedIn and climb up the exec ladder if you stick to the same clubs over the years. This is the best thing I could've done my first year. Although it can be challenging managing them along your classes, even joining one or two positions can help make yourself well rounded. Some examples are MUES positions, FYEO fyc, IEEE, WiE, BMES, MECU, ECEstorms, CECU and literally SM more.
- design teams. on the topic of clubs, design teams esp are something I wish I joined but hope to in my second year. Design teams are amazing because they allow you to contribute to physical projects and use the concepts you are taught in your classes! They're also great because you can add these projects to your resume and linkendin.
- find good friends/study group. It can be overwhelming and scary in the beginning to make friends, and it does take time to build those relationships. However I highly recommend you put yourself out there and out your comfort zone even if it is just talking to someone while waiting outside of a lecture. I cannot stress enough how beneficial a supportive friend/group can be for your entire degree! You guys can hang out between classes, lock in and study together, they can be there to help you/teach the things you don't understand, hold you accountable when you slack off, hype you up and push you to seek new oppurtunites, and make sm memories. don't be scared about meeting new people, it is a lot easier than you think esp bc everyone is on the same boat in first year and looking for friends! Joining clubs as I mentioned is a great way, as well as talking to the people in your tutorials/labs and inviting them to get a bite or drink with you!
- hold your self accountable. You know yourself best and you know when you are slacking off, when you are doing something you shouldn't be, when you can be doing better than you are, etc. University is not like hs where you have a teacher or figure to hold you accountable, you need to do that for yourself. Eng is not easy, you need to know when it's time to study or put in effort because spoiler alert, you need both to succeed. you cannot expect to pass or have good grades if you are only going to lectures and not reviewing, doing your hw, or studying. and holding yourself accountable throughout the sem can make studying for finals and midterms easier for you.
- be careful using chatgpt, bc you will become dependent on it. Ai is definitely a helpful tool than can be used to answer specific questions and spark new ideas, however use it cautiously. Pushing and using your brain is so good for you, however access to gpt and ai can make it seem like an easy fix. It is, but all I am saying is don't use it for everything, don't use it when you have the answers in your notes or textbook, don't use it if you have time to work it out/think on it. you do not want to become one of those brain rot individuals that cannot think and speak for themself thats all.
- save your money. I wish I'd hear this before but it is incredibly easy to blow off money in your first year esp at tmu. There are food and shopping places in every corner, so if you have the money/savings it's easy to get in the habit of buying food or a sweet treat every day. Many of us aren't working during school either. Just remember that each course you take cost money, if you need to take it again or online it cost money, your homework textbooks and lab equipment often costs money, and if you are on osap you will need money to pay it back! just be careful 🥲
- chang policy. I had to learn this one the hard way too. If you would like to take a course virtually through chang the refund policy is NOT the same as in person courses. If you change your mind about the course and want a full policy, you need to drop the course 5 BUSINESS DAYS before it begins if you want a full refund. I dropped a course 4 business days before and had to pay 50% for a course I did not take.
- time management because the workload is intense. engineering is not easy but time management can make your degree manageable and not feel impossible. it may be hard to find the routine and flow that works for you, but if I can give any advice while you do it is to make use of the time you have when you have it. Use resources like a planner, google cal, to-do lists, reminders etc to stay on top and make time for everything. being able to manage your time can save you a lot of panic and stress in midterm and final season. although the workload can get overwhelming, break your tasks down and take it day by day, but make sure you get done what you need too.
- start group projects early, especially CEN100. you will encounter many group projects during your first year, and most of the important ones happen near the end of the semester. I highly suggest you urge you and your group to get started or at least plan/break down tasks early, ideally from the get go when it is assigned. trying to coordinate with group members who are all busy with the end of the semester can be difficult and makes room for conflict to arise. not to mention starting early gives you time to seek help and critique from your TA. if you need to be that person, hold the group accountable and make sure you guys do not leave it for last min.
- don't compare yourself. everyone comes from different educational and social backgrounds. for some it may come as a shock to be surrounded by people who are as smart as you if not probably smarter. it is so easy to compare yourself and your success to others and it can easily become discouraging. just know that although you will meet people doing great while you may be near flunking, everyone is still struggling and finding it difficult. they may have different learning styles from you that makes it easier for them to learn new material, or they may have come from a school/background where they have already learned it. that doesn't mean you can't get to that level tho, for some it just takes some extra effort and that is okay.
- connect with your TA's and profs and build a relationship with them. You won't always come across a friendly or dedicated instructor, but if you feel you you have give them the chance to get to know and remember you, go to office hours and your tutorials even if they are optional. chances are they may be willing to give you advice or insight on what is on the midterm/final, or they could be the reason your mark has been boosted enough for you to pass. this is not always the case, but it often is.
- it will be a learning curve and takes time to adjust. as much as people can advise and warn you, you won't know what you are getting yourself into until you are actually in it. university for most people is a whole different ball park, let alone an engineering degree. you likely may not find your circle, your flow and your space right away and that is okay, it is part of the process that sets you up to be the best engineer you can be one day. some may be able to adjust quicker than others but just be patient with yourself, if you need to break up for your year into the spring/summer sem so be it. they say the first year of eng is the hardest bc it is such a large jump from high school, but remember it isn't impossible, so many people have done it and so can you. be kind with yourself, and use the many many resources that are available for your success.
- stay caught up in your classes to avoid burnout during midterm and exam season. one of my biggest regrets is missing so much class after midterms and having to cram for finals. Up until my midterms for both semesters I was caught up and following along in everything which made studying less time consuming bc I was already familiar with most the material, it was just filling in the gaps and practicing. Finals nearly took me out bc of the amount of cramming I had to do before I could even get to studying. not to mention seeing the material multiple times will make it stick better by logic. falling behind is common, but don't let it get too far because it truly is very hard to come back from. try to study as you go through the semester, and review/practice the lessons regularly. do not let the material leave your brain as soon as you learn it.
- it is okay to fail. many of us come from being high achievers in high school and getting above average grades. but you will come to learn that grades in the 45-60 range is normal. it is not the end of the world if you fail a course, especially in your first year. you are not dumb, you are not a failure, you are not letting anyone down. failing a course or two is normal and fairly common at least once during this degree. as a first year there is a lot of leeway and room for success, so you can just take it the next sem or the spring.
- make time for your family. this mostly goes for the commuters, but it can be difficult to make time for them especially when the semester ramps up. you may find yourself locked up in your room or coming home late from a library study sesh. but for many people they are your support system and even taking an hour away from your work to spend time with them and be a breath of fresh air and much needed to feel connected to them.
- go to student events! there are genuinely SO MANY that run throughout the year especially for us. I highly recommend to you to as many conferences as you can, GVIC, the WiE if you are female, the one from FYEO and more from MUES. these are great to make industry connections, learn things you don't learn in class, you can make friends, network, and grow yourself professionally. there are other more fun and chill student events that run too that can be great to destress during the sem and wind down with your friends.
- learn to make use of your time if your commute. Many of us who take the go have quite long commutes that can make it feel like a chunk of our day is gone. Something to help with that is just learning to manage the travel time and get something done. This can be being productive and study, taking a power nap, winding down/screen time before locking in at home, have lunch/dinner, making phone calls, etc. Plan your day out and what you are going to do during that commute time, it can truly help structure your day sm better.
- split your chegg. if you really need to buy it (its great for CHY homework and PCS) find some reliable and not snitchy friends and split it so its cheaper. although again, be careful using such tool incase you become dependent on it. it is a tool not solution, use it to learn how to do questions you don't have examples on, but still make sure you do most the hw for practice etc.
- don't get in the habit of skipping class. everyone says this yet we all do it. but I feel like I still need to include this since I have tasted my own medicine from skipping so much. its fine to skip here and there but don'ttttt make it a habit bc it is near impossible to break. its starts with one class, and then you skip the next one bc you didn't catch up and you're gonna be lost either way, and then it snowballs from there. its okay if you aren't caught up from previous missed lectures. just go, even if you just sit there and pay attention without taking notes. you will eventually catch up if you go, but letting it become a habit is just cutting yourself short and holding you back from sm academic success.
- don't overlook the easy classes. they WILL be your mark booster but you still need to put in the effort. for me they were CEN100, CHY102, my liberals, and CPS188. If you care about your gpa make sure you put effort into these classes bc they are very easy to do well in and will boost your gpa.
- its okay to feel imposter syndrome. I went through this a lot and felt like eng was not for me at many times because I would get in the habit of comparing myself. I don't think I felt like I belonged or felt like I was where I was supposed to be until the winter sem. as I mentioned it can take time to find your space but you will eventually. try to remember why you went into eng in the first place, and if it was just money joining clubs/going to eng events can help you find passion or belonging in it again. at the end of the day just trust your gut. if you truly truly feel like you can't see yourself working as an engineer maybe you could reconsider. but if you can but you are just struggling, I promise the imposter syndrome is normal but it will go away.
- NO all nighters. this is coming from someone who has pulled one too many this year and regrets it every single time. I feel like we all know this by now but just prioritize your sleep guys, this again comes down to time management but get enough sleep helps you SO MUCH to learn and digest all the material. you may be able to stay awake physically but you brain needs the rest. and ESPECIALLY DONT PULL ALL NIGHTERS BEFORE EXAMS. So many times this sem have I experience the worst brain fog of my life from doing this, you start to forget the most basic of things and concepts you may have perfected. it can be so easy to overlook our sleep but it truly is so important. don't sacrifice it, if you need to take the L bc you didn't study enough just take it, bc honestly studying more ahead would've saved you if you feel like you need to miss your sleep to cram.
- don't buy a single textbook. the only time you should is PCS and CHY bc it comes with the homework which you need to buy. other than that don't you can find it all online for free either on Anna's archive, the eng gcs or upper years.
- be prepared for midterms. tbh nothing could've prepared me, it is intense. esp if you are taking the full course load. the learning does not stop when midterms roll around, you will still have fast paced lectures, still have hw, still have regular quizzes and projects on top of studying for midterms. It can honestly feel suffocating in the midst of it and extremely overwhelming, but again this is where time management comes to play, use planning resources, and set yourself up for success from the very beginning of the sem. the biggest mistake people make is skipping lectures during midterms, because let me tell you, you will not make the time to catch up during midterm season, and even when it is over you are likely quite far behind or near finals. try your self to ensure you keep going to your classes during it. ALSO, make sure you study well for your midterms, for many people they do better on the midterm than the final so allocating those grades from the midterm is a great idea.
- check your emails! there are so many opportunities and resources that get sent to your inbox. this includes free tutoring, study halls, event details, on campus paid opportunities, club hirings etc.
- take care of yourself. like sm other things it can be so easy to overlook your basic needs and let yourself go. whether that be skipping meals or eating fast food alllllll the time, not sleeping, not showering and doing laundry, not giving yourself free time, etc, you need to look after yourself because no one else will. and the only way you can do well is ensuring you yourself are well. feed yourself healthy and balanced meals, get enough sleep, PLEASE SHOWER AND USE DEODORANT (the stereotype is in fact true), and take yourself outside on walks and with your loved ones. don't lose yourself along the way, it is all about balance.
- do not drop linear algebra in the fall. just listen to me on this one. even if you absolutely BOMB the midterm, don't get scared by it and decide to drop it. this happens essentially every year, and they usually, every year, make the final much easier and straight forward than the midterm is so it IS possible to pass. at the end of the day all you need is a 50 and it is very doable if you have the quiz/hw grades secured (free marks for most people) and study well for the final. try to get profs like majed and wang bc if you are near passing they may boost you enough too. and even if you did fail, so be it that is fine, you can take it in the winter but atleast you gave it youre all and said you tried but chances are you will pass. I say this bc the winter sections for linear algebra ive heard are much harder than the fall, although I think they curve at the end, it is a lottttt more theoretical and confusing so I recommend you push yourself for the fall and see where that takes you.
Anddddd I think that's all! I know that was a lot and maybe overwhelming but I hope it was insightful. if you have any questions or worries feel free to comment or pm.

FAIR WARNING THIS WILL BE A WALL OF TEXT
Intro: In a series of reviews that will begin (or return) here; we are going to try and take a critical look at the Chuck series, especially the unfolding of the story as scene through the teleplay. In this case we are assuming multiple things about a potential watcher:

• The watcher is new to the series and does not know about future episodes, but there is an expectation any previous episodes have been watched.
• I will try not to point information out that becomes important for later episodes, though there may be times it's important because of how episodes are filmed and how episodes string together, I will however try and hide these behind a spoiler tag. I say this as a person who has watched Chuck dozens of times, so if I inadvertently spoiler, sorry.
• I will do my best to point out interesting references that are hidden within the Chuck universe, but not at the expense of extended expositions unless in-depth analysis is necessary as it relates to the scene.

What is this all for: This started as a project to improve my critical reviewing skills for a hobby of movie script writing and analysis. Chuck happens to have published 3 original scripts and all the text of every episode has been published to a searchable database. This affords an opportunity to break from my movie writing woes and infinite revisions to just have fun enjoying Chuck and trying to deepen my understanding of the intersection of script writing with filmography and visual editing. Having said this, it should be known I have no affiliation to the show, no additional insider knowledge, and I do not write scripts for a living. So, consequently, feel free to ignore everything I say :). I do hope, however, we can go on this journey together and appreciate the excellence that is a love story called Chuck.
So, don't freak out, and lets get started.
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Chuck 01x04 (Chuck vs the Wookiee): TEASER - We open with the gang playing "Know Ya!", which isn't actually a real board game, but based on the game Paddles. It's amazing that Morgan can't stand Ellie/Awesome being in love/winning, but marches triumphantly whenever he gets a question correct. I also like we see, in frame, Chuck watching Sarah pick off olives; he's beginning to notice things just like a real spy. The deep sadness and yet storied confliction on Chuck's face when he discovers Peaches 1 and Peaches 2 was great.
For those who don't know about dogs:

• A cocker spaniel is typically smaller; by ~5inches and up to 30lbs lighter than a springer spaniel.
• Springer spaniels also have shorter fur across their bodies, with feathered hair under their chests and legs.
• Only a cocker spaniel will be solid colored
• Springer spaniels have longer muzzles, while cockers have fluffier ears.

I find it very interesting how Sarah has "spidey sense" about potentially being watched. At no point previously did either Sarah nor Casey display this trait and I'm not totally sure how an open window was enough to do this; I wonder if Sarah's comfort being around Chuck's family is causing her to develop a "feeling of being watched" as she is comfortable with the Bartowski's? For those who missed it, Sarah talks about having a sister I think at the time this was just a throw-away line to protect her cover, but in season 5 Sarah does actually have a little sister if you count the little girl she rescues One last thing about Sarah here, when Bryce is being discussed, I really like how it was played where she acts quiet and shocked, but not saying anything. The facial expressions of Yvonne here are really special and you can tell Sarah lives a life of secrets. This is carried outside when Chuck asks Sarah about her relationship with Bryce. She is totally looking down and to the right, a classic indication of an emotional response searching for rationalization (ie. she is clearly lying)
As they end the game and exit to the courtyard, there teleplay of Chuck does something I've been wanting to see forever; they switch perspective to keep both characters in camera and follow them around from a 3rd perspective. We know this is supposed to indicate they are being watched, but I really enjoy getting to see them together reacting and talking instead of the constant close-ups and cuts. Normally Chuck will be shot with something between a medium close up (MCU) and Medium Shot (MS) to emphasize their characters and highlight their faces and expressions. This works really well because Chuck's cameras are typically either shoulder level or hip level based on the operators moving through their space. In many more modern TV shows, the technology of boom cranes and gyroscopic gimbals allows for content to be show from ground level to overhead giving directors the opportunity to tell their story through a variety of shifting profiles. If Chuck were shot today, we would see everything from full body shots all the way to extreme closeups without the need for continual jump-cuts and re-shoots because the technology is there. At least for this episode, it's nice to see the director explore more hip/knee level motion and more cowboy framed shots when having a distant observer perspective. https://www.studiobinder.com/blog/types-of-camera-shots-sizes-in-film/ does a fantastic breakdown of all the different shot type and camera perspectives for you want to read more!
As we transition into Sarah's hotel room, did anyone pick up on how NICE this is? She has double sinks, a king bed, a sitting mirror, free standing tub, and a great view. I doubt any agency in the "real world" would ever spring for something like this for multiple years for one of their agents, it's fancy! Enter Carina, tell me, who saw Sarah fight with a soap sock and think of iCarly and the famous "butter sock". Also during this fight, why is Sarah wearing a golden bikini? I know she is about to get into the shower, but what plausible reason is there for her to a) wear a bikini at all and b) it to be a bright golden yellow?? If you slow this fight scene way down, you will notice Yvonne's strikes actually come close to hitting Mimi as she has had a lot of training, whereas Mimi's strikes are miles from Yvonne and she just over-acts their impact. The most noticeable is the kick into her table, Sarah goes flying back, but we can tell from the angle, Carina missed her by a good 2 ft. This was just some sloppy editing and not getting the camera into position. I give it a pass because you have probably 3 camera operators wearing stabilized camera rigs trying to rotate around a room with 2 girls fighting and they just missed the angle by like 2 feet. I did really like at the end of the fight Carina had the option to go for the gun but instead went for the fish. If you didn't know they were not enemies before, this should have been a big clue! Carina calls Sarah's life in LA boring #1
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ACT I
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Carina aka: Maria Elena Argalberdi was born Jun 16, 1978 in Alberdi Argentina with a Buenos Aires passport. Maria Elena is actually the name of a famous song in Mexico and eventually had a movie. This Chuck learns on Flash #1 and is the precursor to meeting the general for the first time. I know I've mentioned this before, but to reiterate; the pictures in Casey's apartment are all wrong; he has photos of Chuck and Morgan that don't happen until season 5 (lost footage) he has a map of Echo Park and Malibu already on display, and he has tactical information for each member of the Buy More (which he has no reason for at this time). It is interesting they talk about an opium cartel in Afghanistan as Afghanistan is known for it's huge poppy fields for heroin drug money.
The NADAN-I-NOOR diamond:

• The Nadan-I-Noor diamond has never been known to be bought or sold and ha only changed owners as a result of theft, conquest, or endowment
• It's listed as having 57 facets + 16 facets on girdle = 73. A facet is comparable with the brilliance of a diamond and is really the flat surfaces of a gemstone arranged in a geometrical pattern. In this case it helps characterize the refraction of light through the diamond interior. The girdle i the outer edge of a diamond surface, having 16 faces is quite large, as the girdle is the largest section of a gem, but also the thinnest when viewed from the side. In this case, having 73 facets puts the Nadan-I-Noor in either the Princess-Cut Diamond or Radiant Cut Diamond category, which are also the most expensive as they have the most possible facets.
• having 4-fold, mirror-image symmetry refers to how the light reflects internally to the diamond and indicates there are no impurities within the crystalline structure.
• interestingly a purity rating is not given, i would expect something like a F or IF (flawless/internally flawless) for a diamond described like this, but one isn't provided.
• the angles of incidence just describe the best way for light to enterefract from the diamond, these numbers are fake, but the metric is real
• there is a lot of sanscript written around the diamond markings, I can't figure out what if anything it means it looks like repeated nonsense
• could be a nod to the Koh-i-noor or "mountain of light" diamond, although this one in Persian is the "fool of light".

We open back to see Carina and Sarah looking at classified files within the restaurant. THIS IS AGAINST THE LAW, you do not look at classified files out in the open and especially not where there are clearly other customers around. Venturing into the BuyMore, there is a monster truck rally on the TV's showing grave digger and reaper, two famous trucks from this time period. Morgan wants to spread his wings and be the fourth wheel to the perpetual 3 wheel party and Sarah, ever the schemer, literally glows when she thinks of the plan to have Carina go on a date with Morgan. I THINK this was just to help maintain their cover, but also maybe Sarah is just needling Carina? If you look in the back of the store when Chuck is talking to Sarah and Carina, there is a really cool Nerd Herd poster that says "Bringing peace to your computer emergency". "if a yawn could yawn" is Carina calling Sarah's job boring #2. One thing I really like with the double data is the way the camera jumps between the couples: boy/girl, boy/boy, girl/girl. I think they way they try and keep private conversations via screen time is a really nice, typical, teleplay trick that really works well here. In a "real" environment, everyone could hear everything, but by splitting the camera focus or playing with perspective, the viewer clearly knows "this is a conversation between girls the boys don't hear it". We see Chuck noticing Sarah picking off olives #2 while they watch a movie about penguins: who mate for life, present their love in the form of rocks, and are pack animals. In Chuck's bedroom as he talks to Morgan, Chuck has a box of King Edward Invincible underneath bongos; for those who don't know this is a famous box for mild tobacco cigars. So I wonder what Chuck is up to in his free time :P.
On the Nerd Herd call with Carina, she opens a bottle of wine with a butter knife. This is actually a pretty famous thing that is done all over the world with everything from a key to a saber. In fact they make a specially type of knife with an extra wide blade for this it Italy. I do want to ask the question; is Carina dressed in red lingerie (Chuck's favorite color she stole from Sarah) really necessary for this scene? I know that Carina is all about improvising and she often uses her sexuality to progress her cause (Casey), but I think we could have gotten away with just the top. I can certainly see the rationalization for going this far, but I think as an artistic choice it wasn't necessary. What IS necessary however is to talk about how Chuck's world implodes when Carina tells him about Sarah and Bryce. Also the perfect act transition ending right at Chuck's jaw dropping and the work boyfriend!
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ACT II
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I'll say it again, the back an forth with Chuck and Sarah should have been a medium close up, shoulder level straight on shot instead of the constant cuts. Seeing their reaction in real time would have been easier and it would have allowed the Weinerlicious to be maybe 15 ft smaller to not need so many cameramen rotating. "Unless talking to your boyfriend is a matter of national security, the ketchup bottles won't refill themselves". Why yes it IS a mater of national security for Sarah to talk to Chuck... also if any one of us stood up to our boss like Sarah did, I'm pretty sure we'd be fired on the spot!
Malibu is ~2hours for Echo Park with standard LA traffic. Seriously, how do girls in high heels walk down stairs; we see Carina and Sarah walking sideways so there is enough space on each step to fit their shoes. Girls, how do you do that and not fall especially with narrow staircases and 3-6inch heels! Inside the room with the stone there is a bust of Cesare, archenemies, da vinci, and biblical David. There is also some famous paintings the best of which is Vemieer's "young girl with a pearl earring" which is rather appropriate considering it's meaning. There is also a Van Gogh of man in a wheat field and a Monet in one shot too. If ANY of these paintings were real instead of reproductions, they would be worth millions, in fact the young girl with a pearl is estimated at 40million, which is 1.5x the sell value of the Nadan-I-Noor! If we take a look at the engineering drawing of Flash #2 on the pedestal, we would see this design creates a closed circuit around the tongs the diamond rests on; which might explain it's red hue. If a person were to touch the diamond, it would close the circuit on their body allowing the 4000volts to travel through their heart. A person can die with ~20volts, though it's usually more like 50 in most occurrences. 4000volts is enough to kill a herd of elephants and completely overkill for a person. Also the amount of power that would take is more than the city of Malibu... this is to say the trap is real, the numbers are complete nonsense; thinking lightning! Nice shot by Sarah with the plate (there are some great bloopers on this too where she misses badly)! A remote controlled jet ski... i'm not even going to calculate the nonsense for this; it's just total nonsense. Almost as much nonsense as Casey using his phone to track Carina's call. That would take minutes, even with today's technology to back trace like that and way more power than just pushing a button on a razer flip-phone from the 90's!
back at the house, Chuck i playing halo with the legendary skulls as his weapon; this is nice because in the BuyMore at the end of the episode there are dudes dressed as master chief! I really like the changing perspective here with Chuck and Morgan. Chuck's reactions remain in focus while Morgan tells a story behind him, then it switches as Chuck starts to move around until bringing both into focus for the final line "we still have each other and that's really sad". The side cut to Sarah picking locks to the hotel door is classic early 2000's TV and i'm all for it, even if it is super cheezy. BTW as someone who used to lock pick in college, that's .... not how that works, but good try. We get our Flash #3 on the diamond in Morgan's back nuclear explosions. I wonder if the refractive capability of a diamond this pure is enough to focus laser to induce fission or if the value of selling the diamond is enough to buy nuclear material on the black market? Either way, we end the act with... the man with the golden gun!
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ACT III
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Chuck uses Sarah's plate move against Carina, nice inter-episode call back; he's clearly watching/learning, but his aim is terrible. This was actually clever as Sarah has perfect aim for she is a professional, while Chuck is still definitely a civilian and has no aptitude for fighting. I really like both these types of simple call backs but also how seemingly throw-away lines/actions help tell the broad story of the show. Chuck talking to Carina also shows Chuck has this weird, innate aptitude to get people to re-evaluate themselves and grow internally. You can watch Carina "grow in real-time. When we get to the hotel and Carina opens her trunk first there are a few glocks, a couple rugers, and a 1911; then she switches to blades and we see some folders, some strait blades, an illegal gravity blade (still illegal today), and a kbar... nice selection! Carina, always the flirt, gives Chuck some very insightful works about the nature of being a spy, but also maybe some way to get through to Sarah.
Inside the hotel we see Carina and Sarah speaking; Carina is speaking Swedish, while Sarah replies in Polish. "Om jag slänger nycklarna till dig, kommer du tappa dem då?" which is Swedish for "If I throw you the keys, will you drop them?" Sarah answered in Polish: "Tylko jak rzucisz jak twoja mamusia", which means "Only if you throw it like your mommy". This is just great!
I want to talk about how fast Chuck managed to find an address for DC, print a label, open a box, put the label on, and get the diamond there all before the door gets broken. Somehow on screen time this is like 10seconds, but in real life this would have to be like 3minutes minimum? Either that door is remarkably strong or... TV magic??
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ACT IV
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Even with all the flirting, as we say goodbye to Carina >! for now !< she is still joking with Casey and every the professional. I like how they show when it's "game time" it's all about the job, but spys can be people too! Carina still calls Sarah's life boring #3 (the common trifecta of episode repeats).
Sarah's face when Chuck brings the pizza with no olives is the reason I think Yvonne makes the perfect Sarah. She exudes the hidden beauty needed and has the acting to so such emotion for Chuck being sweet. The whole scene with Chuck and Sarah asking questions, then Chuck backing off, then Sarah acting stoic like she WANTS to open up but doesn't know if she can really trust Chuck, is ready to move on from Bryce, and should for the nature of her job. This was probably the most well acted 20seconds of the entire episode. Finally, we hear Sarah's middle name is Lisa. Now we never officially know if Chuck hears this or not both due to camera focus and distance, it's never officially confirmed in the entire show. When the intersect is updated in season 4 we see Sarah's picture and it lists Lisa as a middle name, so we assume it's official, but it's never confirmed at any point. Finally, I really like how they end the episode with Sarah closing her eyes as the fade to black.
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Few notes: There are 5 official songs in this episode:

• "Yea Yeah" by Matt and Kim - when the gang is playing board games during group date night. This song is about not worrying about the things you cannot change. Little things that build up and bum you out that you need to just let go.
• "Wild Girl" Matt Pond PA - Chuck and Morgan discussing their relationship problems. This song is about overcoming past struggles and finding hope in the present and future. Describing a sense of resilience and optimism
• "weird science" by does it offend you - Chuck and Carina talk at Peyman' Malibu Compound. This is a remind to break free and embrace individuality and live on your own terms. Be unapologetically ourselves.
• Shy by Mathew Dear - the double date
• "Fall into place" the apartment - the team say's goodby to Carina. Deals with growing up, taking (or not taking) chances. finding oneself in the unpredictability of life. I have to say, we don't actually hear the lyrics to any of these songs during the episode just the melody, but I don't really appreciate the music choices here. I feel like there were better options at key points, so that's a miss from me.
  
• On the DVD for Season One the word Wookiee is spelled incorrectly, leaving off the last E.
  
• "It used to be titled "Chuck Versus the Speedo" because the main bad guy in this show is this dude who wears a Speedo all the time. Then when the casting guy realized he had a good amount -- and by good, I mean healthy, a healthy amount of body hair -- they thought, why not call it "Chuck vs. the Wookiee". So it's this guy who's got this diamond, and we're trying to heist the diamond and all hell breaks loose." ―Zachary Levi quoted by Access Hollywood discussing this episode's title
  

​
I think this was a great episode and really showcased what they can do when additional cast members join the team and when they are not afraid to play with perspective. Mimi as Carina is a great addition to the ensemble and I wish we saw her more, but every time she drops in, it's always a wild episode and it's fantastic. Watching Chuck learn about Sarah and seeing Sarah start to open up is a good way forward and heck Casey had some of the best humor in the episode. Overall, it was fast paced, had some nice character development, as funny in the best way, and moved the main theme along, 8/10.

DAY: MAY 31 2024
5-31-2024

RESEARCH SUGGESTS LEADERS’ SOCIAL MEDIA POSTS ARE TAKEN JUST AS SERIOUSLY AS FORMAL STATEMENTS

Over 180 world leaders maintain social media accounts, and some of them issue policy warnings to rivals and the public on these platforms rather than relying on traditional government statements. How seriously do people take such social media postings? A new study suggests the general public and policymakers alike take leaders’ social media posts just as seriously as they take formal government statements. The research, by MIT political scientists, deploys novel surveys of both the public and experienced foreign policy specialists. “What we find, which is really surprising, across both
5-31-2024

SCALE OF ONLINE HARM TO CHILDREN REVEALED IN GLOBAL STUDY

More than 300 million children a year are victims of online sexual exploitation and abuse, research indicates. Pupils in every classroom, in every school, in every country are victims of this hidden pandemic, according to researchers who have conducted the first global estimate of the scale of the crisis. The statistics, from the Childlight Global Child Safety Institute at the University of Edinburgh, amount to a clear and present danger to the world’s children, according to the crime agency Interpol. Online risks One in eight of the world’s children, about
5-31-2024

PRONATALISM IS THE LATEST SILICON VALLEY TREND. WHAT IS IT—AND WHY IS IT DISTURBING?

For Malcolm and Simone Collins, declining birth rates across many developed countries are an existential threat. The solution is to have “tons of kids,” and to use a hyperrational, data-driven approach to guide everything from genetic selection to baby names and day-to-day parenting. They don’t heat their Pennsylvania home in winter, because heating is a “pointless indulgence.” Their children wear iPads around their necks. And a Guardian journalist witnessed Malcolm strike their two-year-old across the face for misbehavior, a parenting style they apparently developed based on watching “tigers
5-31-2024

HOW SCIENCE, MATH, AND TECH CAN PROPEL SWIMMERS TO NEW HEIGHTS

One hundred years ago, in the 1924 Paris Olympics, American Johnny Weissmuller won the men’s 100m freestyle with a time of 59 seconds. Nearly 100 years later, in the most recent Olympics, the delayed 2020 Games in Tokyo, Caeleb Dressel took home the same event with a time that was 12 seconds faster than Weissmuller’s. Swimming times across the board have become much faster over the past century, a result of several factors, including innovations
5-31-2024

BANNING SEX CRIME OFFENDERS FROM CHANGING THEIR NAMES DOESN’T MAKE US SAFER

The government of British Columbia recently introduced a bill to ban people convicted of serious offenses from legally changing their name. The proposed amendment to the province’s Name Act would also prohibit those found not criminally responsible due to mental disorder from changing their name. The government announced the move after media reports that Allan Schoenborn legally changed his name to Ken Johnson. Schoenborn was found not criminally responsible for the deaths of his children in 2010 because of a delusional disorder, and was placed at a psychiatric hospital.
5-31-2024

SILICON VALLEY ISN’T THE START-UP UTOPIA WE THOUGHT, RESEARCH FINDS

Silicon Valley—considered the world’s hub of technology and innovation—can breed inequality and sameness among budding entrepreneurs, according to new research. Behind the multi-million-dollar deals and tales of start-up utopia, Silicon Valley’s “uneven” investment landscape is in fact a barrier to many budding businesses, says the study from the University of Stirling and Georg-August-University Göttingen. But the researchers suggest other countries could still learn from the more discerning entrepreneurial ecosystem that bred giants such as Apple and Google, to be more selective in backing start-ups. While it is not uncommon for
5-31-2024

I WANT TO KEEP MY CHILD SAFE FROM ABUSE—BUT RESEARCH TELLS ME I’M DOING IT WRONG

Child sexual abuse is uncomfortable to think about, much less talk about. The idea of an adult engaging in sexual behaviors with a child feels sickening. It’s easiest to believe that it rarely happens, and when it does, that it’s only to children whose parents aren’t protecting them. This belief stayed with me during my early days as a parent. I kept an eye out for creepy men at the playground and was skeptical of men who worked with young children, such as teachers and coaches. When my kids were
5-31-2024

OVER 300 MILLION YOUNG PEOPLE HAVE EXPERIENCED ONLINE SEXUAL ABUSE, EXPLOITATION, FINDS METASTUDY

It takes a lot to shock Kelvin Lay. My friend and colleague was responsible for setting up Africa’s first dedicated child exploitation and human trafficking units, and for many years he was a senior investigating officer for the Child Exploitation Online Protection Center at the UK’s National Crime Agency, specializing in extra territorial prosecutions on child exploitation across the globe. But what happened when he recently volunteered for a demonstration of cutting-edge identification software left him speechless. Within seconds of being fed with an image
5-31-2024

CYBERFLASHING IS A FORM OF GENDERED SEXUAL VIOLENCE THAT MUST BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY

Sexting—sending sexually suggestive or explicit messages and images—is now a widespread practice, and can be a healthy way to express and explore sexuality. However, there is a need to distinguish between consensual sexting and forms of sexual harassment like cyberflashing. Cyberflashing refers to the act of non-consensually sending sexual imagery (like nudes or “dick pics”) to another person. It is facilitated through communications technologies including text, AirDrop and social media applications like Snapchat and Tinder. Similar to flashing—when a person unexpectedly and deliberately “flashes” their genitals to others—that occurs in
5-31-2024

VIRTUAL TRAINING MAY BE AN EFFECTIVE, COST-EFFICIENT OPTION FOR CHILD EDUCATORS

Teachers and other child educators can benefit from regular professional development, but in-person training can be expensive. New research found that virtual training can be a budget-friendly alternative—and especially effective for certain groups of educators. The study—a collaboration between researchers at Penn State and the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and published in the International Journal of Professional Development, Learners and Learning—found that educators who took a virtual training reported feeling more confident in their abilities to implement practices shown to support positive youth development. In particular, after-school providers who did not
5-31-2024

HUMBLE LEADERS BOOST EMPLOYEES’ WORKPLACE STATUS AND LEADERSHIP POTENTIAL, FINDS STUDY

There are many different types of workplace leaders, from those who prioritize the needs of team members and the organization above their own, to authentic leaders who foster openness, trust and transparency. A recent study by the University of South Australia published in the Journal of Organizational Behavior has highlighted the significant benefits of humble leadership in the workplace. According to the study by UniSA’s Dr. Xiao Lin, humble leadership can effectively elevate the workplace status of employees by boosting their sense of respect and prominence. It also leads to
5-31-2024

WHY ARE GROCERY BILLS SO HIGH? A NEW STUDY LOOKS AT THE SCIENCE BEHIND FOOD PRICE REPORTING

Rising food costs are squeezing Canadians around the country. Nearly everyone is feeling the pinch, and it’s not just an inconvenience—high food prices are a major threat to food security for many Canadians. Understanding why food prices are so high and why they are changing is critical to the well-being of our society. Unfortunately, consensus on why food price are so high is in short supply. Explanations given in reports like Canada’s Food Price Report and the news media range widely, from the war in Ukraine to supply chain issues
5-31-2024

WILL GENERATIVE AI CHANGE THE WAY UNIVERSITIES COMMUNICATE?

Is artificial intelligence an unprecedented opportunity, or will it rob everyone of jobs and creativity? As we debate on social media (and perhaps use ChatGPT almost daily), generative AIs have also entered the arena of university communication. These tools—based on large language models that were optimized for interactive communication—can indeed support, expand, and innovate university communication offerings. Justus Henke has analyzed the situation of German realities about six months after the launch of ChatGPT 3. “The research was conducted about a year ago when enthusiasm was high, but it was
5-31-2024

STUDY SHOWS RELATIVELY LOW NUMBER OF SUPERSPREADERS RESPONSIBLE FOR LARGE PORTION OF MISINFORMATION ON TWITTER

Classification of superspreader accounts. A large portion (55.1%) of accounts are no longer active. For each class annotated with political affiliations, colors indicate the ideological split. The last group aggregates all accounts with political affiliations. Credit: PLOS ONE (2024). DOI: 10.1371/journal.pone.0302201 A small team of social media analysts at Indiana University has found that a major portion of tweets spreading disinformation are sent by a surprisingly small percentage of a given userbase. In their study, published in PLOS ONE, the group conducted a review of 2,397,388 tweets posted on Twitter
5-31-2024

HOW LIFE’S BIG MOMENTS CAN CHALLENGE STARTUPS

Life-changing events like the birth of a child, the purchase of a new home, or a lottery win could threaten the survival of a new business venture, the positive family events had a comparatively greater influence, albeit negatively, on the survival of a new venture, compared with
5-31-2024

RUDE AT WORK? FEELING GUILTY CAN MAKE YOU A BETTER, KINDER WORKER

We’ve all done it. A bad night’s sleep or a tough commute made us cranky, and we lashed out at a coworker who did nothing wrong. What can we do to make up for it? According to a new study published in the Journal of Business Ethics, embracing our guilty feelings can help us make up for our bad behavior by encouraging us to act more politely and work harder the next day. “We found that anyone can be rude at work, because anyone can
5-31-2024

RESEARCHERS INTRODUCE A PLANETARY INCLUSION SCALE TO FOSTER BROADER ETHICAL THINKING

Social inclusion and having a sense of belonging with other people are key elements of a good life. However, the fate of humanity is a challenge that extends beyond our social reality. Experiences of belonging and inclusion, understood in a broader sense than before, may be crucial for a sustainable future. In an article published in the International Journal of Social Pedagogy, a team of researchers propose a new planetary inclusion scale that structures our planetary relationship three-dimensionally based on temporal, spatial and ethical orientation. The temporal element relates to
5-31-2024

‘LEAN IN’ MESSAGES CAN LOWER WOMEN’S MOTIVATION TO PROTEST GENDER INEQUALITY

Women in leadership are often told to “Lean In,” designed to be motivational messaging demonstrating that they are more confident, strategic and resilient to setback. However, new research indicates that such “lean in” messaging can hinder women’s motivation to protest gender equality. Popularized in a book by American technology executive Sherly Sandberg, the “Lean In” solution to gender inequality advises women that demonstrating personal resilience and perseverance in the face of setbacks is key to career advancement. Now, a new study led by the University of Exeter, Bath Spa University
5-31-2024

ALGORITHMS COULD HELP IMPROVE JUDICIAL DECISIONS

A new paper in the Quarterly Journal of Economics finds that replacing certain judicial decision-making functions with algorithms could improve outcomes for defendants by eliminating some of the systemic biases of judges. Decision makers make consequential choices based on predictions of unknown outcomes. Judges, in particular, make decisions about whether to grant bail to defendants or how to sentence those convicted. Companies now use machine learning based models increasingly in high-stakes decisions. There are various assumptions about human behavior underlying the deployment of such learning models that play out in
5-31-2024

DIGITAL CAMPAIGNING IS A HUGE PART OF ELECTIONS NOW—BUT GOING VIRAL ISN’T EVERYTHING

The election has commenced and the race is on—to amass as many likes, shares and comments as possible. Digital campaigning, particularly through social media, is now a key part of political candidates’ communication toolkit. In fact, every general election campaign since 1997 has at some point been lauded as the first to make effective use of digital campaigning. But it was in 2015 that David Cameron’s campaign first made strategic use of social media to drive an election victory. As political reporter Tim Ross outlines in his excellent book, Why
5-31-2024

WHY ARE ORGANIZATIONAL COVER-UPS SO COMMON?

The TV dramatization of the UK Horizon Post Office scandal evoked outrage and disbelief. However, as another example of dysfunctional organizational behavior, it was expected rather than exceptional. The Post Office saga joins a long list of cover-ups or scandals that includes Hillsborough, Enron, Grenfell, the infected blood scandal, the Tuam babies scandal in the Republic of Ireland, Boeing 737 Max and Nasa (Columbia space shuttle). They represent what happens when there is a move within organizations and institutions to cover up the causes of
5-31-2024

AMONG GEN Z AUSTRALIANS, 38% IDENTIFY AS SPIRITUAL AND HALF BELIEVE IN KARMA. WHY IS SPIRITUALITY SO POPULAR?

Spirituality is increasingly popular with young Australians: recent research shows 38% of Gen Z Australians identify as spiritual. It also reports 50% of them believe in karma, 29% in reincarnation and 20% in astrology. When it comes to activities equated with spirituality, 28% of Gen Z Australians practice meditation and 22% practice yoga. In Australia, spirituality is strongly, enduringly central to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples, and culturally and religiously diverse communities. Yet until recently, spirituality has received far less attention than religion. Spirituality may be
5-31-2024

COMPANIES CAN IMPROVE THE SUSTAINABILITY OF THEIR PRODUCTS IN THE EARLIEST PRODUCT-DESIGN STAGES

An interdisciplinary team of researchers from Lithuanian and Italian universities propose a tool that allows companies to assess the circularity of their future products. The self-assessment tool emphasizes the co-creation of circular design in the early (creative) stages of product development, encouraging entrepreneurs and designers to think more systematically and collaborate better by integrating related stakeholders into the product development process. The study is published in the Journal of Industrial Ecology. “The majority of existing practical tools (systems of indicators) are aimed at measuring the environmental impact of products already
5-31-2024

RESEARCH EXAMINES HOW RECREATIONAL MARIJUANA LEGALIZATION AFFECTS A STATE’S COLLEGE ENROLLMENT

New research has revealed up to a 9% increase in college first-year enrollments in US states that have legalized recreational marijuana compared with states without such legalization. The study, which is published in Economic Inquiry, found that the increase was from out-of-state enrollments, with early adopter states and public non-research institutions experiencing the most pronounced increases. Recreational marijuana legalization did not negatively impact degree completion or graduation rate, and it did not affect college prices, quality, or in?state enrollment. The findings suggest that some students perceive recreational marijuana legalization as
5-31-2024

RESEARCH EXAMINES HOW RECREATIONAL MARIJUANA LEGALIZATION AFFECTS A STATE’S COLLEGE ENROLLMENT

New research has revealed up to a 9% increase in college first-year enrollments in US states that have legalized recreational marijuana compared with states without such legalization. The study, which is published in Economic Inquiry, found that the increase was from out-of-state enrollments, with early adopter states and public non-research institutions experiencing the most pronounced increases. Recreational marijuana legalization did not negatively impact degree completion or graduation rate, and it did not affect college prices, quality, or in?state enrollment. The findings suggest that some students perceive recreational marijuana legalization as
5-31-2024

HOW THE ‘MODEL MINORITY’ MYTH HARMS ASIAN AMERICANS

May is Asian and Pacific American Heritage Month, a time when Americans celebrate the profound contributions of Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders—a group that is commonly abbreviated as AAPI—to U.S. society. It’s also a time to acknowledge the complexity of AAPI experience. And as a professor who studies equity and inclusion in business, I think the focus on AAPI communities this month provides an excellent occasion to push back against a stereotype that has long misrepresented and marginalized a diverse range of people: the myth of the “model minority.” The
5-31-2024

WONDERING HOW TO TEACH YOUR KIDS ABOUT CONSENT? HERE’S AN AGE-BASED GUIDE TO GET YOU STARTED

The Australian government’s new campaign Consent Can’t Wait challenges us all to improve our understanding of consent. It asks a series of questions to illustrate this issue is more complex than simplistic “no means no” messaging. The campaign invites viewers to consider the nuances of consent, so we can raise these important issues with children and young people in our lives. But what is a good age to start talking about consent? How do parents tackle such conversations when this information probably wasn’t readily discussed in our own upbringing? How
5-31-2024

A PRODUCT OF NATURE OR NURTURE?

The concept of cultural entrepreneurship has many facets. It encompasses both the cultural and social impact of entrepreneurial training, and the environmental factors that influence its development. Some societies, such as the U.S., have a strong entrepreneurial culture. This means that certain characteristics are celebrated and encouraged, such as the ability of individuals to assume risks, patience when confronting challenges, and innovative problem solving, especially in uncertain situations. However, not all countries have such an entrepreneurial culture. Entrepreneurship struggles to take off in Europe In general, entrepreneurship can drive economic
5-31-2024

STUDY BRIDGES ANIMAL BEHAVIOR RESEARCH AND COMPUTER CODING TO ENGAGE CHILDREN IN STEM

A graphic depicting a student coding. Credit: Carnegie Mellon University Teachers today face a bit of a conundrum, according to a new study from researchers at Carnegie Mellon University and the Rochester Institute of Technology. Their goal is to prepare young students to enter a rapidly changing world. Even basic jobs require technical proficiency, which requires computational and analytical skills. To address this need, many educators are pushing to fold these important STEM skills into elementary curriculum. Here’s the problem. Young students can lose interest and even develop an aversion
5-31-2024

STUDY SHOWS VR CAN HELP TEACHERS BETTER DISTRIBUTE THEIR GAZE

On the left, a bird’s-eye view of the virtual classroom; on the right, screenshots of each of the four gaze-visualization conditions. Teachers need to know their material, but they must also keep their students engaged and interested. Part of that involves making eye contact with their students—all of them. A multidisciplinary team of researchers tested several methods of data visualization in an immersive virtual reality (VR) classroom, to give teachers a way to gauge
5-31-2024

MARKETERS CAN MANAGE ‘FEATURE CREEP’ SO CONSUMERS FEEL LESS INTIMIDATED BY TOO MANY FEATURES IN A PRODUCT

Wifi-enabled washing machines. Voice-controlled microwaves. App-enabled TVs, vacuum cleaners, and even window blinds you can control from the comfort of your couch. Many of the technological features now included in everyday products are useful and accessible. But research has shown that having too many can overwhelm potential buyers, making them less likely to make a purchase. In recent research, Wayne Hoyer, marketing professor and James L. Bayless/William S. Farrish Fund Chair for Free Enterprise at Texas McCombs, digs into the phenomenon of “feature creep” and its impact on consumer sentiment.
5-31-2024

RESEARCHERS EXPLAIN SOCIAL MEDIA’S ROLE IN RAPIDLY SHIFTING SOCIAL NORMS ON GENDER AND SEXUALITY

A new paper summarizing decades of research demonstrates how social media has supported an explosion of diversity in gender and sexuality in America during the 21st century, and also how these technologies have equally enabled a cultural backlash. The paper’s authors, UC Santa Cruz Psychology Department faculty members Phil Hammack and Adriana Manago, identified five main narratives about gender and sexuality that they believe emerged through social media as people have strived to be “authentic” on these platforms. The findings, along with resulting recommendations for psychology researchers and practitioners, were
5-31-2024

KEY FACTORS IN TRAINING ASSESSORS FOR ENHANCED PERFORMANCE RATINGS

New research is examining how organizations can improve their training programs by customizing frame-of-reference training to emphasize identifying negative behaviors critical to their goals. While assessors naturally identify positive behaviors, C. Allen Gorman, Ph.D., associate professor in UAB’s Department of Management, Information Systems and Quantitative Methods, says targeted training helps them recognize harmful actions that can hinder organizational objectives. Involving assessors in defining important performance dimensions and examples of behaviors, both good and
5-31-2024

STUDIES CHALLENGE WIDELY HELD BELIEFS ON APPLICANT DIVERSITY AND WOMEN IN THE WORKPLACE

Justin Frake is interested in cause-and-effect relationships in real-world data and the hidden dynamics that shape workplace behavior and equality—or inequality, as the case might be. His curiosity has led to research that challenges some popular beliefs as well as published studies related to women in the workforce. One study shows that firms promoting flatter hierarchies inadvertently discourage female applicants and another study counters several recent studies that claim women CEOs negatively impact career outcomes of other women. Both are published in the Strategic Management Journal. The assistant professor of
5-31-2024

CHALLENGING LEWIN’S MOTIVATIONAL CONFLICTS THEORY

A recent series of experiments challenges the longstanding theory of motivational conflict resolution introduced by Kurt Lewin. According to Lewin, conflicts between two undesirable outcomes (avoidance–avoidance conflicts) are typically harder to resolve than those between two desirable ones (approach–approach conflicts). Lewin posited that avoidance–avoidance conflicts, where individuals must choose between two undesirable outcomes, are typically more challenging to resolve compared to approach–approach conflicts, which involve choosing between two desirable options.
5-31-2024

MEN WITH ‘TOXIC MASCULINITY’ ARE MORE LIKELY TO MAKE SEXUAL ADVANCES WITHOUT CONSENT, STUDY FINDS

No means no when it comes to sex. But what happens when a woman makes a more passive response to a sexual advance? According to new research from Binghamton University, men differ in how they interpret these types of responses, and men who display hostile masculinity, known commonly as “toxic masculinity,” tend to act on them regardless of whether or not they think it’s consensual. A team of researchers, including Binghamton psychology professor Richard Mattson and graduate student Michael Shaw asked men between the ages of 18–25 to respond to
5-31-2024

WHY WE DEHUMANIZE OUR POLITICAL OPPONENTS

Some of human history’s greatest atrocities—genocide, slavery, ethnic cleanings—are rooted in our ability to dehumanize people from other social, political, or cultural groups. Whereas prior research has traced dehumanization to the belief that others think or feel less than we do, new research co-authored by Haas professor Sameer Srivastava shows that our tendency to dehumanize can also be influenced by how we think others view important facets of the world. The greater the difference between our perceptions of an outgroup’s worldview
5-31-2024

STUDY SUGGESTS CHILDREN ARE OFTEN EXPOSED TO PROBLEMATIC CLICK BAIT DURING YOUTUBE SEARCHES

When a child peruses YouTube, the content recommended to them is not always age appropriate, a new study suggests. Researchers mimicked search behaviors of children using popular search terms, such as memes, Minecraft and Fortnite, and captured video thumbnails recommended at the end of each video. Among the 2,880 thumbnails analyzed, many contained problematic click bait, such as violence or frightening images, according to the Michigan Medicine led research in JAMA Network Open. “Children spend a significant amount of time on free video sharing platforms that include user-generated content,” said
5-31-2024

STUDY FINDS WOMEN ARE VULNERABLE IN POST-WAR PEACE PROCESSES

Post-war peace processes are a dangerous period for women. Many are forced to live close to men who committed serious abuse during the war or are expected to testify in various types of truth commissions, which can be both retraumatizing and stigmatizing. These are the findings of a new study by peace researchers at Uppsala University, published in the journal PLOS ONE. “In short, peace projects can force women to live side by side with ex-combatants who committed atrocities during the war. This puts them at risk of further threat
5-31-2024

HOW EMBRACING THE CRINGE CAN HELP YOUR DATING LIFE

We can all agree that dating is hard. Getting to know people can feel vulnerable, but at the same time, exciting. We can also agree that feeling rejected can be one of the worst feelings, especially after we put ourselves out there. Dating can also expose us to a lot of cringey things, maybe even something we didn’t know we’d consider cringey. Think of cringe like something that makes you uncomfortable, or something about someone else that you don’t find attractive. Before dating, most of us consider what we’re looking
5-31-2024

PERSONAL CONNECTIONS AT WORK POSITIVELY IMPACT RETENTION AND MENTAL HEALTH, SAYS REPORT

New survey results from Wiley suggest people still feel connected at work despite the prevalence of hybrid and remote work environments and the rise of artificial intelligence (AI). According to the latest Wiley Workplace Intelligence report, “Human Connection: The Crucial Secret to Thriving in the Digital Age,” nearly 8 in 10 employees surveyed (78%) said they feel connected with their coworkers, and almost 7 in 10 (69%) said they also enjoy making connections with their colleagues. Around half even said they want to learn more about their coworkers by doing
5-31-2024

RESEARCHER DEVELOPS MODEL OF INFLUENCER IMPORTANCE WITHIN INSTAGRAM NETWORKS

A study has provided new insights into social media influencers, particularly focusing on those in the women’s fashion sector on the well-known image and video sharing platform Instagram. In a departure from the approach taken by earlier studies, Jens K. Perret of the International School of Management in Cologne, Germany, has used network statistics and centrality measures to establish a model of influencer importance within their network. Perret analyzed data from 255 influencers covering a four-year period. Influencers are loosely
5-31-2024

MOST PEOPLE TRUST ACCURATE SEARCH RESULTS WHEN THE STAKES ARE HIGH, STUDY FINDS

Rank (X-axis) does not affect the evaluation of trustworthiness (Y-axis, mean-centered) of accurate results. This lack of relationship is robust across experiments (columns) and for clicked results (top row, red) as well as non-clicked results (bottom row, blue). The trend lines represent the predicted change in trustworthiness ratings per unit decrease in rank fitted by the linear regression models. Credit: Scientific Reports (2024). DOI: 10.1038/s41598-024-61645-8 Using experiments with COVID-19 related queries, Cornell sociology and information science researchers found that in a public health emergency, most people pick out and click
5-31-2024

MISLEADING COVID-19 HEADLINES FROM MAINSTREAM SOURCES DID MORE HARM ON FACEBOOK THAN FAKE NEWS, STUDY FINDS

Despite the greater potency of “fake news” on Facebook to discourage Americans from taking the COVID-19 vaccine, users’ greater exposure to unflagged, vaccine-skeptical content meant the latter had a much greater negative effect on vaccine uptake. Credit: Jennifer Allen, Duncan Watts, David G. Rand Since the rollout of the COVID-19 vaccine in 2021, fake news on social media has been widely blamed for low vaccine uptake in the United States—but research by MIT Sloan School of Management Ph.D. candidate Jennifer Allen and Professor David Rand finds that the blame lies
5-31-2024

CRITICAL DIALOGUE HELPS STRAIGHT MEN CONFRONT SEXIST, HOMOPHOBIC BELIEFS

Adult heterosexual men with sexist and homophobic views can potentially improve their attitudes toward gay men and women by engaging in critical dialogues that use illustrations as a springboard, according to a new University of Michigan study. The work is published in the journal Sexual and Gender Diversity in Social Services. The process by which people shift from a prejudicial stance to one of relative acceptance is a key innovation of the study. Guided by trained facilitators, critical dialogues reflect illustrations depicting different gender roles and sexual identities. The images
5-31-2024

RELIEVING A FEAR OF PUBLIC SPEAKING

If you dread public speaking you are not alone. It is a leading social phobia, one that can cause a state of anxiety that reduces otherwise articulate people to nervous incoherence. A strong fear of public speaking is known as glossophobia. Academic studies estimate it affects 20% of the population, but depending on the sample and methodology, the figure could be as high as 40%. As American writer and humourist Mark Twain said, “There are two types of speakers: Those who get nervous and those who are liars.” But help
5-31-2024

HOW SOME PRIVATE COMPANIES ARE MARKETING TECH AND AI SOLUTIONS

How do universities and colleges decide who to admit? Given the earnings advantage of a post-secondary degree both globally and in Canada, this is an important social mobility question. While the answer varies from one institution to the next, most focus on education criteria like exam scores and grades. However, Canada’s new intake cap on study permit applications puts increased pressure on Canadian institutions to also consider immigration criteria when admitting international undergraduate students. This is just the latest example of immigration’s growing influence on the societal roles of Canadian

Okay so I’m new at world building and I made this world and I was wondering if I could get some people’s thoughts on it anything I should/could do to make it better or if there’s anything I should ad anyway this is my world
Time Period: 20th Century Key features of this time period include: * Economic Changes: The century experienced profound shifts in economic structures. The Great Depression, World Wars, and the Cold War influenced economic policies and global relations a lot. * Global Conflicts and Decolonization: The 20th century being marked by two World Wars, the Cold War, and numerous regional conflicts. Decolonization movements led to the independence of many nations in Africa, Asia, and the Caribbean, reshaping global political dynamics. * Cultural and Intellectual Movements: The century would wines diverse cultural and intellectual movements, from Modernism and Postmodernism in art and literature to existentialism and structuralism in philosophy. Popular culture flourished with the rise of cinema, television * Political Revolutions: Various political revolutions and movements occurred, including the Russian Revolution, the rise of fascism and Nazism, and numerous anti-colonial and independence movements. These events reshaped nations and ideologies, influencing global politics. Technology/World State: Diesel-punk/Arcanepunk * Diesel-Punk Aesthetic: The world is characterized by a diesel-punk aesthetic, reminiscent of the early to mid-20th century. Futuristic like Industrial machinery, steam-powered engines, and diesel-fueled vehicles dominate the landscape, giving the world a gritty, industrialized feel. * Arcanepunk Elements: In addition to diesel-punk technology, the world is infused with arcanepunk elements, where runes and arcane forces coexist with technological advancements. Runes, enchanted artifacts, and mystical creatures and races populate the world alongside steam and or diesel-powered machines and industrial innovations. Runes are integrated into everyday life, influencing everything from household appliances to warfare. * Societal Structure: The society within this world is often stratified, with distinct social classes based on wealth, power, and access to technology and magic. The wealthy elite may control advanced technology and wield powerful magical artifacts, while the common folk struggle to survive in the industrialized cities or rural villages. Architecture: focusing on diesel-punk style from the 1910s-1950s * Industrial Architecture: Industrial buildings, such as factories, warehouses, and power plants, dominate the urban landscape. These structures are characterized by their utilitarian design, with large open spaces, exposed steel beams, and functional layouts. The emphasis is on efficiency and productivity, reflecting the industrialization of society. * Gothic Revival: Gothic Revival architecture continues to influence buildings, particularly churches, cathedrals, and government buildings. Pointed arches, ribbed vaults, and intricate stone carvings evoke a sense of medieval grandeur and religious symbolism. * Brutalism: Emerging in the mid-20th century, Brutalism is characterized by its raw, concrete construction and stark, minimalist design. Buildings in this style often feature exposed concrete surfaces, geometric forms, and rugged textures. Brutalist architecture reflects a sense of social idealism and functionalism, with an emphasis on honesty in materials and structural expression. * Urban Planning: The urban landscape undergoes significant transformations during this period, with large-scale urban planning projects shaping the layout of cities. Modernist principles of efficiency and rationality inform the design of neighborhoods, transportation systems, and public spaces. The concept of the "city of the future" inspires architects and planners to create visionary urban environments that accommodate the needs of a rapidly growing population. * Magic System Description * Foundation: Runes harnesses the inherent mana that’s in all matter through intricate symbols called runes. * Activation: Runes are activated by infusing one's own mana into the symbol, causing it to absorb surrounding mana to perform the desired function. * Deactivation: follows a similar process, with individuals withdrawing some mana from the symbol to cease its effects. * Versatility: Runes can be inscribed onto any surface including parchment, stone, metal, or even living beings. Once activated, they can produce a wide range of effects, limited only by the complexity of the rune and the skill of the Runecaster. * Applications: Runes can be used for offense, defense, enchantments, day-to-day tasks and more. Each rune represents a specific concept or action, and combinations of runes can create complex magical effects. * Training: Runecasters undergo rigorous training to understand the intricacies of rune construction, activation, and manipulation. Mastery of rune magic requires years of diligent study and practice. * Science vs. Art: Runes are considered a science rather than an art, adhering to precise rules and principles governing their construction and usage. While some individuals may have a natural affinity for rune crafting, anyone can learn to make runes with sufficient dedication and training. * Limitations: Improper use of runes can lead to unintended consequences or backfiring effects. The complexity of rune construction means that creating advanced runes requires considerable expertise. * Changed People/Parts: A rare genetic disorder afflicts approximately 25% of the population, resulting in random body parts being transformed into a durable metal that functions just like the original part but with anomalous properties. These affected parts grant individuals elemental powers/magic associated with their respective element. * Changed parts: Any body part/parts ranging from a single muscle fiber to entire organs can be affected. The affected area becomes a metal that resembles the original body part but possesses enhanced durability and elemental affinity. * Elemental Powers: The type of elemental powemagic granted is completely random but what ever the affected body part is they’ll gain total control over that element the only limits being their imagination and power level. * Types of Elements: Individuals with changed parts can manifest a variety of elemental powers. The different elements and the chance of having it is as follows: 15% lightning, 22% fire, 25% air, 10% water, 10% earth, 5% spirit/soul, 5% combustion, 1% space, 1% time, 3% light, and 3% darkness. * Power Utilization: You can control the element you get through your changed part however, you want(kind of like bending, but without the need for the martial arts) the only limitation being your power level and your imagination your power level dictating how much of your element you can create how strong your control over your element is and how much of that element you can control and imagination dictating how you control your element * Power Levels: The strength of an individual's elemental powers/magic is indicated by the brightness of the glow emitted by the transformed body part when it’s used. A brigh glow signifies a high power and proficiency in utilizing there elemental abilities. Your power level goes up the more you use your changed part like a muscle the more you use it that gets. * Awareness: In most cases, individuals and even medical professionals are unaware of the presence of changed parts until the affected individual begins using their elemental powers/magic. The only changed parts, that are visible are ones like changed eyes or skin which are obviously immediately noticeable. * Monsters: a small amount of monsters/folklore creatures/mythical creatures exist but they’re specific to the region where they’re mythology/folklore comes from so let’s say Japan they would have creatures/monsters from there mythologies/religions/folklore * Gods * Artifacts of Power: Each god in every religion or mythology is sealed inside the item they’re associated with the most. These items can be anything these items possess a small part of the god sealed inside them * Connection to Mortals: Mortals who wield one of these items gain a fraction of the god's power, although they are not on par with the deity itself. * Divine Projection: Gods have the ability to astrally project from their artifacts, manifesting in the mortal realm. However, to avoid driving mortals insane with their true forms, gods typically possess a random mortal to interact with the mortal world.

Hi,
I am looking for insight for anyone who experiences the same pathway as me in Canada. I am a recent graduate who has a degree in Architectural Science at BCIT - British Columbia Institute of Technology. I also carry an Advanced Diploma of Architectural Technology at George Brown College. Most universities in Toronto or in Ontario I am looking into to pursue my Masters of Architecture require a GPA of B-or B+ over. For example, TMU (My first choice since I was told the capacity class size is 30 which is very similar to the Arch Sci program (There were under 30 people and it was a cohort based learning system),
I would like to know other possibilities if I did not meet the minimum of the GPA grade? My transcript shows my overall GPA at "74%", although my core courses of studio and other related courses from my 3rd and 4th year of the BCIT Arch Sci are in the 73-85% range.
What are other elements that I can use to qualify myself as a potential candidate instead of my GPA (despite being 1% off) . I'm getting really concerned if I'm better off applying to universities that are not in the Toronto area? Any suggestions or similar stories to share?
Also for anyone in the program, what are some recommendations to prepare for the March program? (Ex: learning a new program (Rhino), enhancing my design knowledge (practical or moreover, a parametric matter?)
Just a note, I am graduating this year, but I will plan to apply next year.

My mother in law is here for a visit and while my (32f) husband (32m) was running an errand, I asked her why she and his dad divorced. They bought a house right before the recession and I always chalked it up to the stress of that tore them apart but what she told me was actually insane.
This is a long one.
She goes, “well it was a lot of things and secrets that were kept from me, including the weird fetishes”. I jokingly replied, “oh ahaha you mean butt stuff?” She said, “well that and the women’s clothing”
She goes on to tell me this story:
The night before their wedding, they were getting intimate. She reached down and felt lacy women’s underwear. She was shocked and asked wtf was going on because she thought it was a joke. They had been together a while and this had never happened before. He just replied that he thought it might turn her on and that was it.
Flash forward to my husband in grade school working on a school project. He needed to print stuff and my MIL took out the family laptop. When she opened it, she found pictures of naked women sprawled out on hotel beds. When FIL got home, she questioned him about it and he said it was just a joke, he had gone to a conference and his buddies and him did it as a joke. She obviously didn’t believe him but they had just poured their lifesavings into this house.
Not too long after that, she was cleaning their bedroom closest when she found a box that she didn’t recognize. In that box was pictures of FIL in women’s clothing, including some pictures of him in her cloths. She confronted him about it and he said it would never happen again.
Come to find out that my SIL AND BIL stumbled upon him in women’s clothing in their backyard one morning and said “we don’t have to tell mommy about this right?”. And they didn’t until they were teenagers.
Throughout this time period, she would see him at the kroger out by the dumpsters throwing things away. Additionally, he had a burner phone. She never went dumpster diving but when she tried to talk to him about it things would get violent. This escalated to him leaving the house for prolonged time periods, including overnights. She had to tell him multiple times that she didn’t care what he did but he couldn’t just walk out of his kids life’s.
Her friend and her husband were close with them and the husband and FIL got together one day so he could talk to him in private. He told him, “I just don’t want responsibility anymore”. Upset and needing a distraction, my MIL took her and the kids on a trip to California with family.
When she got home, all the trash had been taken out except for a single piece of paper with a schedule on it. A day plan for what she assumed was a date.
They had a joint bank account, so she checked it. It was completely empty. He had been using their joint debt card to take women on dates. Once she found this out, she demanded that he give her the debit card and get his own bank account. When he refused, she took the family laptop and he flipped out. Fearing this, she ran into the neighbors house with the kids and the phone.
Not long after this they got a divorce. He didn’t want hardly any custody of the kids and she had to convince him to at least do a weekend once a month.
He later remarried and exactly 5 years later got a divorce. A similar cheating situation. She found him sending emails about how he didn’t want to go home to his then wife.
Now he’s about to marry someone younger than my husband and I’s age. Meaning, I’ve dated men older than her. FIL has recently become very demanding of my husband in regards to the wedding. A destination wedding that is around a 3 day trip driving. He demands that we go to with our 12 year old son and pay our own way to. His current finance has a superiority complex over us despite being younger than our age. There’s is a disturbing amount of PDA and I think she contributes to the agression that he recently had been showing with my husband. We’re at the point where family (including MIL) is calling and texting us about how heart broken FIL will be if his son isn’t at the wedding. Trying to guilt us into it, even though my husband doesn’t want to go and we frankly can’t afford it as I was just laid off and we have a mortgage.
This is his 4th wedding He insists we stay in the after party house with our child and strangers but I can’t even trust him.
No one is concerned that he might have more kids in his old age. No one is concerned about the trauma my husband was put through and no one sees the corolation to maybe why he doesn’t want to go to the wedding.
I’m not sure if his fiancée is aware of the cross dressing.
I don’t think it’s my place to tell my husband any of this but I feel like he should maybe know why I don’t ever want our son spending the night around him. It’s not just the women’s clothing but the secrets that he kept and the fact that we arnt sure if there is more that he’s hiding.
Edit: changed some details to make this a little more ambiguous since my in laws are on Reddit.

Use these to draft one page short stories that can be used to give life to emotional reactions.

1. How do you feel when you find out your favorite book has a sequel?
   1. Describe the emotion when you receive a surprise gift from a friend.
   2. What emotions arise when you lose a game you were really looking forward to winning?
   3. Share the feelings you experience on the first day of a new school year.
   4. How do you react when you have to speak in front of the class unexpectedly?
   5. Describe the mix of emotions when you meet a new friend for the first time.
   6. What's your emotional response when you get a good grade on a test you studied hard for?
   7. Express your feelings when you have to apologize to someone.
   8. How does it feel when you successfully solve a challenging puzzle or riddle?
   9. Describe the emotions when you witness an act of kindness in your school.
   10. Share your reaction when your parents surprise you with a fun outing.
   11. How do you feel when you receive a compliment from a teacher?
   12. Express the emotions when you face a fear and overcome it.
   13. Describe the mix of emotions when your best friend moves away.
   14. How does it feel when you achieve a personal goal you've been working on?
   15. Share your emotional response when you receive constructive criticism.
   16. What are your feelings when you have to say goodbye to someone you care about?
   17. Describe the emotions when you create something artistic that you're proud of.
   18. How do you react when you encounter a challenge you've never faced before?
   19. Express the feelings when you win a competition against your classmates.
   20. What emotions arise when you have to admit you made a mistake?
   21. Share your reaction when you successfully make someone else laugh.
   22. How do you feel when you see someone being unfairly treated?
   23. Describe the mix of emotions when you receive recognition for your hard work.
   24. Express your feelings when you have to confront a difficult situation.
   25. How does it feel when you help someone who is struggling?
   26. Share your emotional response when you receive a genuine apology.
   27. What are your feelings when you witness an act of generosity in your community?
   28. Describe the emotions when you receive unexpected praise from a peer.
   29. How do you react when you experience a moment of pure joy?
   30. Express the feelings when you have to deal with a disappointment.
   31. Share your reaction when you successfully navigate a new environment.
   32. What emotions arise when you make a new friend during a group activity?
   33. Describe the mix of emotions when you have to share something important with others.
   34. How do you feel when you achieve a milestone in a personal project?
   35. Express your feelings when you have to confront a situation that makes you nervous.
   36. How does it feel when you receive support from unexpected sources?
   37. Share your emotional response when you witness an act of bravery.
   38. What are your feelings when you receive constructive feedback on your creative work?
   39. Describe the emotions when you discover a new hobby that you love.
   40. How do you react when you have to face a rule or consequence you disagree with?
   41. Express the feelings when you overcome a physical challenge or obstacle.
   42. Share your reaction when you meet someone who shares your interests.
   43. What emotions arise when you have to work in a group and contribute your ideas?
   44. How do you feel when you witness an act of perseverance in someone else?
   45. Describe the mix of emotions when you learn a valuable lesson from a mistake.
   46. Express your feelings when you receive encouragement from a mentor.
   47. How does it feel when you are asked to take on a leadership role?
   48. Share your emotional response when you make amends with someone after a disagreement.
   49. What are your feelings when you have to adapt to a sudden change in plans?
   50. Describe the emotions when you receive unexpected assistance from a classmate.
   51. How do you react when you have to share your personal achievements with others?
   52. Express the feelings when you successfully navigate a social situation.
   53. Share your reaction when you find out your favorite activity is canceled.
   54. What emotions arise when you have to admit you need help with something?
   55. Describe the mix of emotions when you receive positive feedback from a teacher.
   56. How do you feel when you are chosen for a special role or task?
   57. Express your feelings when you witness an act of fairness in a game or competition.
   58. How does it feel when you learn something new that challenges your perspective?
   59. Share your emotional response when you have to comfort a friend in need.
   60. What are your feelings when you participate in a community service project?
   61. Describe the emotions when you receive recognition for your kindness towards others.
   62. How do you react when you have to navigate a situation where you feel misunderstood?
   63. Express the feelings when you successfully resolve a conflict with a friend.
   64. Share your reaction when you discover a hidden talent or skill.
   65. What emotions arise when you have to stand up for what you believe in?
   66. How do you feel when you experience a moment of gratitude towards someone else?
   67. Describe the mix of emotions when you have to say goodbye to a beloved pet.
   68. Express your feelings when you overcome a fear and try something new.
   69. How does it feel when you receive support during a challenging time?
   70. Share your emotional response when you witness an act of sportsmanship.
   71. What are your feelings when you participate in a team-building activity?
   72. Describe the emotions when you have to navigate a situation where you feel left out.
   73. How do you react when you receive constructive criticism from a peer?
   74. Express the feelings when you successfully complete a long-term project.
   75. Share your reaction when you witness an act of environmental stewardship.
   76. What emotions arise when you have to cope with the loss of a valuable possession?
   77. How do you feel when you are entrusted with a responsibility by a teacher?
   78. Describe the mix of emotions when you participate in a cultural exchange activity.
   79. Express your feelings when you help organize a surprise for someone else.
   80. How does it feel when you receive unexpected encouragement from a family member?
   81. Share your emotional response when you witness an act of compassion in your community.
   82. What are your feelings when you have to navigate a situation where you feel underestimated?
   83. Describe the emotions when you receive a heartfelt letter or note from a friend.
   84. How do you react when you have to confront a situation where you feel pressured?
   85. Express the feelings when you successfully teach someone a new skill.
   86. Share your reaction when you witness an act of creativity in your school.
   87. What emotions arise when you have to cope with the end of a school year?
   88. How do you feel when you participate in a group project and everyone contributes?
   89. Describe the mix of emotions when you receive an unexpected apology.
   90. Express your feelings when you successfully negotiate a compromise with a friend.
   91. How does it feel when you discover a new way to express yourself creatively?
   92. Share your emotional response when you witness an act of selflessness.
   93. What are your feelings when you have to navigate a situation where you feel proud of yourself?
   94. Describe the emotions when you receive positive feedback for your efforts.
   95. How do you react when you have to face a situation where you feel out of place?

I am somewhat fatigued right now because, even though I’ve been on my break from work this week, I’ve been staying up until 2am (3am this morning.) I don’t know why I keep on doing it. I suppose that on some level, I’m too anxious to fall asleep. I have depression, anxiety, and PTSD - I have seen my parents change over the years, or rather I have realized that they are not who I thought they were when I was a child (when I was about 13-14, I first realized this when they failed to handle the situation effectively when my older brother was displaying signs that he was about to have a mental break. He did have one, and is presently in rehab. My mother has gone from being, in my eyes at least, a maternal-seeming happy woman to an astoundingly unhealthy monster who walks around shouting about how she “had” to quit her job because she refused to take the vaccine. I still live with my parents while taking community college courses, but seeing your parents… your entire family, really, change like that is traumatic, and I think it takes a toll on you. I think that these changes have definitely contributed to my issues in setting my sleeping schedule straight over the last four or so years.)
I still have high functioning depression anyhow, according to my former therapist (saw her in high school.) In my case, I think it helps that I do feel my “childhood” (5-9) was as stable as it could have been. I wasn’t abused in any sense at those ages. When I was especially depressed in middle and high school, I always looked back on that time frame nostalgically (though ever since I graduated from high school - almost a year ago today - I notice I’ve started to move away from thinking of elementary school nostalgically, because I think working with children has helped me realize that I am just at a completely different stage of development, and don’t really want to go back to the days wherein my parents, who I now fully understand I can’t trust, were taking care of me. When I was little, I think they had good intentions, but still, the way I’ve seen them change - or actually, when considering what they’ve both admitted about their pasts, perhaps simply revert back to the way they were before I was born - when I really stop and think about it, almost taints my childhood somewhat. Just a little bit.)
When unhealthy in the past, I have found myself longing to be in a different place and time. When I was younger, I think I almost kind of wanted to be a groupie for 70s rock n roll stars, kind of like Lori Maddox or Penny lane in “almost famous” - I knew it was bad and tragic and that I’d have hated it, but I wanted to be around a star, a famous person, I wanted to be impulsive and get wrapped up in something that really would have been no good for me. I’m actually an ISFJ, and was too afraid to ever actually get involved in something dangerous like that. It was around about middle school that I started thinking like that, after seeing films like “taxi driver” (though I know Iris was a prostitute.) It’s hard for me to figure out, even now, why I’d ever desired this to any extent. In elementary school, and 6th grade, I was actually so strait laced due to my mother and grandmother’s religious beliefs that I was afraid to swear. I remember thinking lowly of those who did swear, it had really been ingrained in me as a child that swearing was wrong (though of course, my hypocritical parents swear all the time.) In middle school, I started to swear, and remember feeling rebellious when I did, like I was scratching an awful itch. I’d still never want my parents to hear me swear, even as an adult, for some reason.
When I was dealing with a bad case of body dysmorphia in high school, I remember crying once about how no one had ever had a crush on me (supposedly, I’ve learned since that two people have, but one may have lied to be nice and if she didn’t, on some level it doesn’t register for me as being… I don’t know, important because I wasn’t attracted to her. The other was my ex boyfriend, who I already had come to dislike and really dislike now that I’m older, have had more experiences with different people, and more time to think about how he treated me.) It partly stemmed from my former crush (who doesn’t register in my mind as being important now, which is why I almost feel kind of silly when thinking about how fixated I was on him when depressed) calling me a 5 and then a 4. I didn’t like him by junior yr when he had become average looking, and understand that if we’d dated (if he’d hypothetically had interest in me,) it really wouldn’t have worked out. We weren’t compatible, and he didn’t really have anything to offer me.
I feel just a little better about my appearance as an adult, since at least in my opinion a woman being thin or not overweight makes her average assuming she isn’t horrendously ugly. I’ve gotten a bit of attention from men as I’ve grown older, but am not actively trying to date because I feel like there’d need to be a particular set of circumstances for me to feel comfortable entering into a relationship with someone. I also want to get my life together first.
I take community college courses (normally, I’m not taking them this summer and will just be working instead,) but have become a bit more depressed lately because I’ve realized that I really don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I have about $12000 saved, have been working for almost a year as an educator… but I don’t know what I want to major in, and I’m not positive that teaching is the path for me. There are plenty of things I like about it, but I feel like I’m changing and I know I’ll have more responsibility when work starts back on Monday. I’m honestly afraid to return, but am trying to avoid thinking about it.
I did obtain my raise ($19/hr instead of $17/hr starting Monday) after meeting with my boss a little over a week ago (I’d grown angry because I’d started to feel after learning that my responsibilities in regards to a child who has different needs would increase that I wasn’t valued. I was already going to receive a $1 dollar raise to $18/hr for being punctual, but I was overwhelmed last Monday after being told that the child who has a different set of needs - who, if I’m being honest, everyone knows requires more energy to care for - would be unexpectedly switched into my group after hearing at first that they’d be in the group of two more experienced teachers.)
I remember my mother described me as having been a “nervous child” even when I was 3. When I was younger (pre-depression,) I remember having been fun loving, I had a public YouTube channel and asked my mother to post videos of me doing handstands. My best friend was an ESFP 7 and we got on well until I became depressed at 9 (nothing “happened” to me, we just temporarily stayed in a hotel and I realized that one day, I’d have to move away from home for good. That I’d grow older, that I’d eventually die, that my parents would eventually die, that everyone and everything around me would change. Made me depressed. When I was about ten, I started to really worry about finances because of it, about my future as I had already grown up in a low income family. I remember I started to study to enter a higher math class when I was in 4th grade due to these fears, but also because I didn’t like feeling like I was stupid.
I don’t take particularly great care of my appearance. I probably look unkempt a fair amount of the time. If asked to dress up, I have an idea of which outfits I look my best in, and will wear them assuming they are appropriate for the occasion (when I was in middle school and really throughout most of high school, I didn’t care about fashion at all. My former best friend and a few other girls who I fell out with even insulted my fashion sense in middle school - it was a pretty juvenile comment though, about me dressing like I was younger, which is something I still probably do sometimes.) Now that I’m older, I care about fashion more, and when I have enough money saved up (I never spend what’s in my savings account, and won’t until I’ve hit $15000,) I plan to go shopping for new clothing items. Ideally vintage clothing items, I’ve always liked 1950s fashion but now that I’m older I’ve developed a greater appreciation for 70s fashion. I also think that within the past year, now that I’m more developed physically, I’ve gained a better idea of what kind of outfits will show off my figure.
When I have enough money and more energy, I want to develop my own sense of style, perhaps inspired by the looks of vintage actresses.
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