Free hubby suduces wife and sister

Young America’s Foundation is taking legal action against the University of California, Los Angeles, following the institution’s blatant violation of students’ First Amendment rights. Last week, UCLA forced the last-minute cancellation of a planned event featuring Robert Spencer, founder of Jihad Watch.
The pro-Israel event, which was organized by the school’s Young Americans for Freedom chapter, would have provided a voice of reason amidst the chaos of the pro-Hamas encampments and protests–but apparently, reason and common sense are not allowed at UCLA.
Despite previously granting the event approval, UCLA abruptly reversed its decision on the day of the event, blocking YAF staff out of the reserved venue and citing arbitrary security concerns. This action followed weeks of inconsistent and obstructive behavior by the university, which included initially refusing the event, offering insufficient time to promote it, and ultimately shutting it down on the day-of.
James Kerwin, senior attorney at Mountain States Legal Foundation, remarked in a letter to the administration, “UCLA’s actions represent a gross violation of the First Amendment. The university’s conduct handed an unconstitutional ‘heckler’s veto’ to anti-Israel activists and engaged in blatant viewpoint discrimination against pro-Israel messages.”
The letter reminds administrators of their legal obligations to preserve evidence, noting that YAF is working to prepare the lawsuit and intends to file very soon.
YAF’s forthcoming lawsuit aims to hold UCLA and its administrators accountable for their actions, seeking injunctive and declaratory relief, as well as damages.
Kerwin added, “We warned UCLA that it would be held to account if it did not respect YAF’s constitutional rights. We are deeply disappointed that UCLA did not heed this warning. YAF is committed to vindicating its rights and ensuring that such violations do not occur in the future.”
When UCLA’s sister school, UC-Berkeley, used similar tactics to prevent a successful Ben Shapiro lecture in 2017, Berkeley had to pay a $70,000 settlement and rescind its unconstitutional policies.
UCLA administrators were well aware of the Berkeley case, so it’s a bit surprising that they handled this situation so recklessly.
When YAF reminded administrator Pamela Lewis of the Berkeley situation early on in the event planning process, she said, “Yeah, we didn’t appreciate that.”
“We will win our lawsuit against UCLA, just like we won the case UC-Berkeley,” YAF President Governor Scott Walker said during a recent NewsMax interview about the situation. “But the fact of the matter is we shouldn’t have to go to court. Colleges should be places where free expression, where free speech is embraced and revered–and yet it’s most under attack.”
YAF is dedicated to standing up for our students and will continue to fight against any attempts to suppress their constitutional rights. Further updates on this case will be provided as the legal process unfolds.
YAF Announces Legal Action Against UCLA for First Amendment Violations - Young America's Foundation

I (29M) have been doing all of the house work since my wife (28F) had a spinal injury and brain tumor. She has gotten significantly better since her surgeries, but still has physical and mental impairments. We are working towards SSDI to help with finances. She's able to do a part time customer support job to help as well. She usually asks me to fill her water cup or get/make her food because we live in her parents basement and she can do stairs but it is taxing to her. Sometimes on her really bad pain days, she'll ask me to grab her phone charger or turn off her nightstand lamp, which both are a foot away but she doesn't want to twist to do it. Nearly every night I rub her back and/or to try and help w the tension and pain.
I used to ask her to do small things like hey since you have 4 more hours free can you fold laundry if I leave the basket on the bed, or slowly work through what little dishes we have, not pots and pans just cups and plates and such. She always forgets and I genuinely do not know if it's the mental impairment, laziness, or something else. I just gave up asking.
As well as, I am the only person to take care of the pets in totality. We have a Great Dane that we were gonna train as mobility service dog for her, but I am stretched so thin I do anything and she never stuck with it. He is well behaved just service trained. I want to be more active in general and with the dog, but most days I see the mountain of physical tasks i must do and kinda shut down. Just grinding my way through the chores so the house stays semi-clean.
Intimacy issues have not helped at all either, she has both mental and physical blocks against intimacy. The closest we've been to intimate in the last 4 years is cuddling via spooning. But even that is limited because it usually devolves into her wanted back runs which forces me to back away from her to get a proper angle. I have had open relationships mentioned before but I have no interest in that, I just want her.
I just feel empty, my days consist of work, chores, video games, and rubs. She does her best to not ask me all the time and to let me have free time to go game. But honestly what I want most is her. We aren't well off right now, we're recovering, but that makes doing activities hard because we're so limited from her disabilities to begin with. I used to offer to watch shows or movies with her so that we can spend time together. But that seemed to always be shot down.
As much as I have been harping on her, I am no saint either. She has on several occasions been subject to being a therapist for me as I am a train wreck mentally. As well as I can hyperfixate on finances because of my upbringing, so she normally deals with them. She has definitely helped me become a better person and I will always love her that. I jokingly say without her I'd be dead in a ditch, but honestly it's true, she forced me to not shut away and isolate myself within confines of my mind.
Thank you for reading this.

so my character fyodor had a loving vampire wife and he was expecting a set of twins with her but the bbeg goes hahaha no and kidnaps her and keeps her in a high secuurity prison of the state so his plan was to get a bunch of humans and use the enlarge spell on them mid air and drop them off from 600ft in the air onto the prison. To do that he arranged spell scrolls of enlarge and kidnapped 50 people and used mass suggestion on them to make them jump off the blimp his criminal friend gifted him ( the dm allows this ). He informs the news outlets that there is going to be a terrorist attack on the state prison the following day by leaving anonymous letters. This causes the security to be increased and much more guards to be stationed. He goes on with his plan and drops 50 enlarged humans from 600ft in the air onto the prison and causes massive chaos. He uses that chaos to free his wife.

Tw: mentions of suicide, (mental) self harm ,depretion
Reminder, these are all theories that I thought of at literally the midnight. So just keep that in mind. It might also have quite a lot of grammar mistakes lol

I will always think of you I see your face when each day's through. Eddie’s room is still full of pictures and stuff of his wife. She is the first and last thing he can see in a day
And days go past Oh, so fast. I think here we see how depressive disorders have affected them.
But memories, they last. But no matter how much time can pass, the memories cannot.
Summer, winter, year by year (Year by year) I'll hear the song inside my ear. This song is one of the most vital pice of connection Ms Sugarman had to her brother. Just as she cannot forget him, she cannot forget the song either. I am guessing that Eddie and his wife had a similar story with the song, because of his song choice in distraction
Trying to restart That'd be smart. These lines show the desire to be happy, yet the inability to be too. We can also sense the regrets of them. For Eddie, it’s flying too high. And for Ms. Sugarman it was sending her brother to war. As she states herself as well.
But thoughts of you haunt my heart. This haunting is both literal, since the person they miss is dead, but also the mental self harm that they cause to themselves by the grief
No, I don't want to be alone now Just biding my time. We can see the effect of depressive disorders here too. Just like the last part, the inability to hold and live in time is expressed
I need somebody dearly And darling, you'd be sublime. This line shows again how much they miss having that someone be there. And the desire to “restart” like in the past verse. For Ms. Sugarman, it also references her brother’s best friend, who she tried to seduce in an attempt to get closer to her brother.
Spring and Autumn Up and down (Up and down). I think this “up and down” might be a reference to their mental health. With spring, nature “heals” and brings hope, going up. And in autumn leaves fall down. WW2 also ended in the start of spring iirc
I keep trying to escape this town. This town is the personification of their depression. A jail that chains them to their past. Being unable to leave the town is also being unable to move past. Even after the car crash, the damage done to the gas station is still there. This town doesn’t change, just like their past. Bojack breaks this curse in a way. He demolishes the old Sugarman’s place. Refusing to live in a monument to past. And changing the town.

If we take the town as a metaphor for life, escaping this town might be suicide and with Eddie’s case, not only is he suicidal, he also tried to kill himself (and Bojack) the same way his wife died, which he still blames himself for. He might take flight

And I just might I'll take flight. We see the intend to run away from the past. Ms. Sugarman wanted to feel alive again, so she forced her daughter to drive faster. Eddie refuses to fly after the incident, he might take flight, but knows he won’t
Maybe tomorrow, not tonight. Yet after everything, they are still chained to their grief and their past. And deep down hope that they’ll finally be free in the future. For Ms. Sugarman, that opportunity is gone. They cut her chained wings to free her (i.e. lobotomised her so she can’t feel grief) but in turn, they made her unable to fly away.

Background:
Married (F) with one child (M). I worked for my mother almost all my life. She had a business and I worked there until til I graduated from undergrad. She worked me to death y’all like from 6am-6pm making $1400 a month. From that she forced me to giver her $1500 hours very quarter for her house tax my dad didn’t do anything about it and mostly ignored me growing up (I thought he hated me) they made ALOT money on their lifetime.
When I was a kid they refused to help with anything so I walked to my second job before I could afford a car. They wouldn’t even drop me off. My mother always screamed at me and called me names…my older sister either picked on me or ignored me I had a horrible childhood.
They refused to pay for college so I used a credit card to pay for community college and then took loans for undergrad. But they told my sister she is free to either work or or go to school they’ll cover it. I met my now husband at 19 (the most beautiful human) we struggled a lot skipped bills when we could over to the next month it was really hard. When we had our son my parents gave us nothing and I know I’m not entitled to anything honestly I got used to doing everything on my own.
Present
Both husband and I finished graduate school and are very financially secure though our jobs and good decisions. Our kid attends private school we have a lot of savings bought a house in a HCOL area and are very happy and comfortable. My parents on the other hand never saved any money or made any sound investments. They were able to sell their house for a really good amount of money. From that sale house my mother did offer to pay off my student loan ($110K) and she did it was the first thing she ever did for me but I now know it’s because she wanted them to come live with us. We tried for a year that didn’t work. They were rude, took over our house and tried to test me like they did when I was 12.
They got an apartment in a retirement community and my brother is there with them, he doesn’t work and they give him money. They are now asking me for $1000/month to help because apparently house sale funds are low. I already pay the cell phone bill for all of them and if they need help my brother needs to get a job…my husband says he will do whatever I want to do as an extra $1K per month isn’t a big deal (we’re very blessed). But I don’t want to…I still harbor a lot of resentment about the way I was treated as a child/young adult. My mother was and still is incredibly rude, mean and selfish, my dad is still fucking selfish and my sister is lazy…so am I asshole because I don’t want to help them?
*I have a therapist
EDIT: sorry I have a sister not a brother I tried to change the gender to hide a bit cuz my moms on Reddit but then I was like fuck it who cares if they see this and know it’s me.

Me M42 ex-fiance F41 let's call her B About 18 years ago my ex-fiance left me 6 months before the wedding to a person who promised her the world. I was broken and depressed to the point I was going to off myself to end the pain. My parent, her parents, and B older sister was my support. My sister didn't support me because she was B best friend and knew about the affair and the ap. She didn't want to tell me because she supported the affair. I was a mess pick myself up about 11 years after I met my wife and we have been married for 13 years now. She has been my support through the good and bad times. I love her so much. Back to the issues B had karma when B caught AP cheating on one of her bridesmaids from the wedding. I guess according to my sister B realized that she left a good thing and she has been fbm, calling me, texting me, and line me begging me to leave my wife and give her a change. I blocked her with every platform B reached out to. She even tried reaching out to my wife on fbm telling her to leave me and B was the one for me. I did talk to B once with my wife next to me I told her what I thought of her now. It felt so good and just to top it off my wife and I had sex afterward which made me feel even better. B isn't getting the hint she wants to fly down to my city to hunt me down. What can I do now other than go to the law?

So i am in third semester now (after the exams), in first semester there was a team of 5 for hackathon in which apart from me there were two M and two F. I was a pretty much goal oriented person so much to the point I barely left my laptop while I was coding and when I wasn't coding I would either be at my shop or college, this was my life for whole 1st semester. Fast forward to december, we gave our sem ends, I was free so I thought I'd use them holidays productively, to my sheer luck my mother spilled coffee on my laptop and it took more than a fkin month to get it back. In between this month I had nothing to do so I started to talk to one of those F in my team. Thing went on pretty quickly, I developed feelings, we were spending literally all days chatting away, telling each other everything we could. Fast forward to 12th Feb i proposed to her and she accepted it. We both were happy to each other. My friends got to know about this progression and they started brain washing or don't know what u call it but they started kind of forcing me to be physical with her. Two to three weeks went by and one day when we were talkin in night like usual she got horny and she said and as I quote "talk dirty to me". So I did sir. Next day we had a free lecture. We went to an empty class and i just slept on her laps and sucked her B, the next day she would behave distant, don't know whether its her conscience or what but the whole week she was like this, then I calmed her down maybe by taking her to eat out or maybe by reciting a poem for her. The same events happened three more times and i, my fuckin brain got no clues what's going on. One day she got so distant from me that she started straight out ignoring me, I was so "depressed" that even my 3 yr younger sister noticed it and confronted it to her directly. She said she needs time to heal but not to me to my sister. I said if you need time that's OK I'll wait for you even if it takes my whole life. Then one day I wanted some answers regarding the material or something I don't even remember it correctly now, things went down the rabbit hole and it was bad, believe me she really said I was nothing more than a nuisance. This was just all so overwhelming and heartbreaking, I didn't want to lose her. Then i planned the most romantic thing of my life. I booked out a cafe, called her friends to invite her, they were three (including her) and i was alone. By the sheer determination of not loosing her I proposed to her again, she accepted and we were happy. After a week in one of my finals she says "mere papa ko pata chala gaya, unhone chat padh li". At this point I don't know what but I didn't care about whether she stayed with me or not cuz I thought what more I could do with current me, (I had literally spent all my savings, I wanted to upgrade my laptop so bad). I asked her "what now, you want to leave me? " she replied "what would you do if you were in my shoes?". I got up and left the place. I don't even feel sad about we broke up anymore like I did the first time she acted that way. Are these feelings wrong? Should I ask her for all the money I spent on her? What do i do now? She will surely leave me but I don't feel a thing.

For background I’m 21F, he’s 23M. We’ve been together for 4 years now. It started out online and recently he’s moved in with me across states, he’s been here since around March. When we first started dating we both agreed that porn was s a big no no, and that we both felt it was a form of cheating. He’s never once made me feel that he’s been watching porn or anything like that, but I did catch him looking at a girls ass right in front of me in the third year of our relationship, and when I called him out on it he got defensive and then fessed up and apologized. We aren’t the most intimate couple as we are both virgins and just not ready for that big step yet but we do other things and he’s never once said or made me feel like he’s not satisfied and has always assured me he is. He’s been very loving and he’s been with me through some of the toughest parts of my life, and I love him dearly. The past week, he’s been a little touchy about his phone, and I found it odd since he put my face on his phone to unlock it at any time. Last night he fell asleep early, and as I rolled over to sleep with him I noticed his phone was underneath me. I picked it up to charge it and my immediate thought was to go through it, and I was absolutely disgusted by what I found. He had pornographic photos and sexual feet pics stashed in his saved section on Instagram, tiktok, and his recently deleted folder in photos, all were recent being on Saturday as well. The most disturbing thing I found was that he took 3 pictures of my sisters feet while she was sitting on the couch watching tv.. they were in his deleted, but I still can’t believe they were in there. I angrily woke him up, showed him what I found, said a lot of not so nice words and told him to get the F out of my house. He’s staying at a hotel now. All he could do was say how sorry he was, how much he loves me, and that he’s been struggling with this our entire relationship, and that I fueled the foot fetish when I sent him a silly Snapchat of my feet JOKINGLY and in a non sexual way when we first got together. I’ve actually talked to his older sister about this and I explained everything in detail, she agrees he is sick in the head and needs helps. We called for a few hours last night and all he could say was how sick he was for doing that, how much he wanted to tell me and couldn’t, how sorry he was and how much he wants a life with me and is willing to change and be better, but I can’t help feeling like it’s pure manipulation at this point.. his sister and my family also agree that I should try with him since they’ve seen our relationship and how great it’s been. I don’t know where to go from here. I’m afraid if I do move on with him it’ll either turn into physical cheating down the road or he will only find new ways to hide it. My family has done nothing but invalidate me and say I’m stupid for all of this. I understand porn addiction is a serious issue but now he’s brought my family into it and it’s personal now, and to spend all your free time screenshotting sexual pics is just insane to me. Not to mention I look nothing like these women and am very insecure now. I just feel so sick. His reaction looked like shell shock, as if I’d killed someone. He was ashamed but I still don’t know what’s genuine and what’s not now. he wants to take a drive later today and talk about everything and the next steps. He says he completely understands if I want him to go back home even though it’s not what he wants. I very much love this person but I feel so disrespected. I had a porn addiction myself but when I was a hormonal teen going through puberty, and he talked about how he always envied me for that because he so badly wanted to stop and just couldn’t. Using all of your free time to collect porn is beyond me, this is so much deeper than just casually watching porn to me. He is SAVING them, collecting them, and he doesn’t even use them and he admitted to that but I’m not so sure on that part, but at the same time he’s with me every second of everyday so he has no time or place to do anything. Some aren’t even sexual photos and just screenshots from tiktok videos where a girl is turned around so her ass is in the shot as well.

AITA for cutting my brother off after he chose the mother of his child over his family? A little back story. I, 30F, have been taking care of my brother, 31M, off and on for the past 7 years. I have let him live with me and my husband every time we have gotten a new place and paid him to babysit my child. We have never asked him to help pay bills or pay rent.
About 4 years ago we moved into a new house and after 2 years of living in the new house my brother got a new girlfriend while he was living with us and ended up getting her pregnant. He ended up moving out and living with his GF and his GFs brother. They had a falling out with his GFs family. My brother had multiple cars and an RV on our property. We offered them to stay on the property in the RV and have them pay rent. From the moment they had moved into the RV his GF would just talking bad about her brother and his wife saying that they kept her stuff and wouldn't return it and called her sister in law a bad mother. I had called her out and told her that I would take her over to her brothers house to get the rest of her stuff because I was friends with her brother and his wife. She would automatically come up with excuses as to why she can't go over there or that they won't let her and they are never home.
I noticed that my brothers GF loved to play the victim and blow everything out of proportion. Everything was always everyone else's fault and never her fault. She twisted every story she had in her favor and made the other person look bad. I even recorded her conversation one time and sent it to her sister in law cause it was the last straw for me I take full accountability for everything I did and the messages relayed back and forth but do not apologize for it. I tried to be nice to her and like her. I even let her move onto my property and made dinner for her and her kids every night while my husband and brother worked night shifts. She never did the dishes or helped clean up. After she had her baby her and my brother moved into my parents house.
After a couple of months they got their own place. I took in her dog because she wasn't a service animal and we agreed that I would be the one to keep her. They had left a lot of their belongings on my property. Her and her sister in law ended up talking and sorting their issues out but in the process I'm the one who got blamed for all the shit that my brothers GF had said about her sister in law. I told her sister in law that she could tell her I told her things but she went as far as telling her everything that was said. I was not the only person that told her what was said or what was going around I'm just the only person that was blamed for all of it. My brothers GF ended up yelling at me for it and saying that everything was my fault and the reason everyone, including her mom, was mad at her was because of me. I never once lied about anything I told the truth when I was asked what she was saying. My brothers GF ended up cutting me off and I did the same because I was over all the drama that she brought everywhere she went. I still had contact with my brother.
One night I had gotten a call from my brother that him and his GF had a huge fight and he needed helping getting all of his stuff out of the apartment. I packed up my kids and took them with me to help him pack up all of his stuff from her house. When I arrived my mom was there talking to the GF on the couch trying to calm her down cause she was crying and freaking out. At the time she was babysitting someone else's kid and that kid was crying. She was just ignoring him and having a little self pitty party on the couch with my mom. I ended up picking up that baby and comforting him and then handing him to the GF to help my brother finish packing. My brother had asked me to get garbage bags under the sink to pack his stuff in. As we were packing I had to get more bags but when I went to get more there was none. The Gf had taken them and hidden them. When we finally finished the Gf started freaking out and yelling at my brother and then yelled at me. I flipped out and tried to fight her but was pulled out by my brothers friend, not my best move but she was just yelling at me and getting closer to me. The GF ended up posting on Facebook about what happened accusing me of stealing her makeup and clothes, I have my own makeup and gave her half the stuff she has and we aren't the same size in clothes, and leaving the door wide open for her kids to freeze. Her kids were upstairs in their room no where near the door that we kept closed unless we were taking stuff out of the house.
Fast forward and she is claiming I'm keeping all her stuff from her including the items she left on my property from when they moved in and keeping her dog from her. I told him that she isn't getting the dog back cause she surrendered the dog to us and she is more than welcome to come and get her stuff of my property and we don't want her stuff on our property, it's been a year and it's still on my property. She even called the cops on my parents for because they wouldn't give her her stuff out of their storage container right before the cops showed up she was screaming and yelling at my parents and as soon as a cop showed up she just started crying and saying they won't let her get her stuff. My parents told her that she could have her stuff back when they get back the phone that my parents gave her cause she broke hers. They were still paying on the phone and asked that she return it so that they wouldn't get charged she never did and ran the phone bill up to 1500.
My brother decided to fix things with her and asked us to give the dog back again. At first we refused but in the end we decided to give her back to be the bigger person my husband ASKED in return, we never forced her to do it and we were already planning on giving the dog back. that his GF publicly apologize to my family about what she said about us. She ended up posting on Facebook again apologizing. That is when we told my brother we want nothing to do with them. We were over all the drama and the blame game. She tried to tarnish our reputation and lie about the kind of people we were. Now my brother is saying that we screwed him over and we owe his GF an apology for "making" her publicly apologize on Facebook just to get her dog back. We still have her stuff on our property and the RV and one of my brothers cars. My brother chose her over everyone in his life who has tried to help him. He only ever contacts my parents when he wants or need something.
So AITA for cutting him off after all the drama and his GF trying to make us out to be bad people? Sorry for the long post. I can clarify or answer questions if needed. It's kind of all over the place.

Alright, so… I (18F) kinda made this reddit account just to get some feedback about this situation, since I’m too ashamed to ask my parents. The girl in question is 16, and is probably one of the most annoying people I’ve ever met…
(TLDR: This girl I was pretending to be friends with in High School obsessively fantasized about murdering someone for an entire semester, is overbearing as a person, interrogates people on a daily basis and is nosy, injects herself into drama that isn’t her own, throws temper tantrums when she doesn’t get her way, constantly touches people and makes unwarranted comments about girl’s bodies, asked me to draw CP for her, and MADE FUN OF HER SUICIDAL BROTHER. And I wrote a hate-letter telling her that all of this stuff is a problem, but now I feel bad about it because I think she might actually have mental issues. It’s a really wild ride and a long story, so if you choose to read it, you should expect to be here for a while. And it’s High School drama, so I’ll try to discard the boring details.)
At the beginning of this year, I ended up in a small Sports Medicine class with literally 8 students total in it. That made things quiet, which gave us some room to start talking and getting to know each other after the teacher was done with the lesson and we had our small hands-on tests and assignments out of the way. (The classes took about 20 minutes every day. Really quick and easy. Laid back. It met curriculum requirements actually, because there wasn’t constant bullshit from other students making the lesson longer.). There’s this girl, who… I’ll call her Storm. You’ll find out why. Storm quickly became the most annoying person in the class. Any time she talked, she didn’t have anything interesting to say, but just kept going on and on and on endlessly. It was annoying, but we just kinda played along to be nice. Well… Around a month into school, Storme started opening up and became comfortable talking about personal topics. She told us this story about how one of her other friends (I’ll call her Katie) “betrayed” her the previous year, and then went on to talk about how much she hated Katie and didn’t care if she lived or died. (Honestly, Katie’s offense was miniscule. At most, she replaced Storm with someone else as her best friend. You know… Regular High School drama that wasn’t that deep. I honestly forgot all of what Katie did because it was just so miniscule.) Then Storme started saying ludicrous stuff like “I hope she falls into a volcano”, or “I hope she gets eaten by sharks falling from the sky. Like Sharknado.”. But like… She kept saying it constantly, out loud in class. She ranted about how she wanted Katie to get kidnapped by the Mafia, be flown up to the moon, and be dropped into a black hole to become “Katie-spaghetti”. It was honestly really funny at first, so me and a few other people in the class joined in a little bit and added our own stupid, childlike scenarios. (Katie has a reputation for being… A slut. That’s why it was funny at first.) But then after this schtick got old, Storm just kept going and going and going… She ranted about Katie until it physically hurt to hear her talk anymore. She was back to being annoying and boring again, but it was worse this time because it was obvious that she was trying to re-kindle our intrigue without realizing that she should move on to something else. Instead of assessing herself, she just kept yapping until everyone rolled their eyes every time she opened her mouth, because we knew she would just keep going on and on about all of the stupid ways she wanted Katie to die. Even the damn teacher told her to stop doing that, but she never listened and the teacher eventually just gave up telling her off (And honestly, I think the teacher started zoning her out.). Katie then gradually started to get more morbid with the things she was saying, to the point where I genuinely considered calling the cops and getting this girl some grippy socks. She talked until she became red-faced, started tweaking, and laughed in a neurotic, nervous angry way while she started wringing out her trembling hands. She genuinely looked and sounded unhinged, and what didn’t help was that she started saying stuff like “There aren’t metal detectors in this school, right?”, and “I wish I wasn’t such a good person, because if I wasn’t, I’d be acting on my impulse to cave her skull in the next time I see her. One of these days I’m going to snap and then just do it..” …Yeah, so I was genuinely considering getting the police involved in this because of those two sentences. Thankfully Katie is safe and sound to this day and Storm never acted on these “impulses”. I’m so glad it worked out that I didn’t have to call the cops, but I was seriously worried for a minute… One of my other friends in that class, (I’ll call him Mark), eventually kinda snapped and called her out for being the annoying piece of crap she is. Quickly, Storm and Mark started getting into arguments just about every day and started throwing things like wads of wrapping-tape at each other, and I was becoming worried that they were going to start actually full-on fighting. It doesn’t sound logical in hindsight, but I ended up taking it upon myself to step in and start acting friendly toward her and listening to her (or pretending to listen to her) just to draw her attention away from him. Pretty soon she started talking mostly to me, and this was intentionally done on my part so that the other people in the class could relax a little bit and start doing whatever on their phones and zone her out instead of having to pretend to listen in agony. Ultimately, it was an exchange that benefited everyone, because after Storme got that angry energy out of her, she shut up for the day. She continued to talk about Katie, but mostly to me. She talked about this topic endlessly, her words getting increasingly violent until Christmas break. Yeah… 5 months. She ranted about the ways she wanted Katie to die for 5 whole months. Months. But then when she was done ranting, she finally shut up. …Oh God, the silence sounded like angels singing. I didn’t even really retain any of the information she spewed onto me, but holy crap, when it was over it was like heaven on Earth. So that’s what I did – I acted like the “lightning rod” for this Storm of a person until it passed (kinda). She wrote a note to Katie explaining “You hurt me really badly, but I’m a Christian so I forgive you and I hope you the best”... As if she didn’t rant about her for 5 months straight. Make it make sense. But enough about that. Here’s where my fuck ups began. I gave Storm my number and we quickly started saying that we were friends, though I didn’t actually like her at all and just wanted to keep the peace. We had a few things in common, but I still didn’t like her whatsoever. She continued to rant to me nonstop about Katie, even over text, and I was burnt out listening after a while. So… To dampen the impact of this girl’s obsessive ramblings, I started sending her pictures of my drawings. (I’m an artist). I had characters that I liked to draw that are ocs of an anime fandom (all of which are underage), and she seemed to calm down a bit and hyper-focus on them. She even has a folder in her phone’s gallery completely dedicated to storing my artwork. That’s great and all, but… One day, the topic of Wattpad came up in one of our conversations. I, myself, was one of those cringy Wattpad 12 year olds who made the most illiterate fanfictions ever to be conceived by a human being (They’ve long since been deleted. Thank God, those were awful.) Then… The topic of “Wattpad smut” came up, because I admitted that I used to read those because of the awful grammar and I thought it was funny. I still do sometimes, actually. The way people on Wattpad can’t write to save their lives is just hilarious. Like the stupid “Shrek x Donald Trump” ones are the ones that make me wheeze. I don’t take them seriously, and I love it when the author doesn’t take it seriously either. It’s hilarious. …But then this asshole said: “I don’t like to read bad grammar, it makes me mad. But I do like to read that type of content… For a different reason”. So uhh… That’s… Weird. But then she asked: “Have you found any… Good ones? Do you have any recommendations? Asking for a friend.” …FUCK NO. No thank you. Nope, I’m done. No jerkoff material for you, ma’am. Nope. You’re done. Seriously, I put down my phone for a little bit and went outside to go stare at some birds at the bird feeder until my sickness went away. I fell nauseous because of that (though in hindsight, that seems like an overreaction). When I came back, I didn’t answer that question and kinda skated past it, and that seemed to be the end of it. …But there is NEVER an end with Storm. She DID forget about the resolution to that conversation, but since we talked about smut to begin with, she started asking me some questions about my art. She asked if I had ever drawn p0rn in my life. Of course, I didn’t really admit to anything. I skated past it too, but then she said: “I think (character 1) and (character 2) are really cute together… Like… Really, really cute together.”. That’s great, she likes my characters… Cool, cool. And then my worst nightmare: “Have you ever drawn p0rn of them?” …Of course I didn’t, because that would be CP… Plus I’ve never thought of those characters as being “sexual”... They’re literally 14 and 15 years old. Then basically, she made an indirect “suggestion” for me to draw them together. I said fuck no. Hell fucking no. She tried to convince me to draw them “aged up”, but again I refused. She eventually dropped it, but since then, she passively talked about things of that nature… Like if she saw a guy she thought was cute, she’d tell me she thought he’s cute or hot or gorgeous or whatever and allude to -other- awkward desires that I didn’t want to know about. She put me off from drawing those characters ever again. I haven’t drawn them since and I don’t take my sketchbook to school anymore because I don’t want her to see my drawings and be reminded of that BS.
But enough about that… Storm is a church-going girl, and so she has a few church-going friends. (This also makes everything I’ve said before all the more ironic.). One day when I was transitioning from my 5th to 6th period, I saw her talking angrily to one of her church friends (I’ll call her Isabelle) outside the school building. Storm was accusing Isabelle of lying about smoking weed/vaping and drinking, and she seemed to be so interested in it that you’d think it had an impact on her personally. Isabelle denied doing that, and they eventually parted ways to go to class. I walked with Storm to 6th period (the Sports Medicine period), and I asked her why she was so damn interested in Isabelle’s habits. Know what she said? Storm said “I just don’t like liars.”... So let me get this straight: She thought she had the right to interrogate someone half to death because she just “doesn’t like liars”? Make that make sense. I’ve heard many stories about how Storm interrogates other people, too. If she sees a guy/girl’s name pop up on the screen of someone she knows, she’ll pester them until they give her one of two answers: either “I’ll tell you later”, or the actual answer. She’s done that to me too, in front of everyone in class. The thing that upsets me about this is that she claims to be “nosy”, but thinks it’s a positive attribute rather than an annoying one. She brags about being “nosy” sometimes.
And the sexual assault… Since we were in a sports medicine class, our projects involved a lot of hands-on things. That didn’t bother me by itself, but with Storm, it was a nightmare. This girl, in the process of strapping an ice bag to my thigh, called my thighs “small”, and said that I have a “beautiful body”. We also did shoulder stretching stuff the next week, and I happened to fall under her care while she stared into my eyes and made weird faces at me, all the while she made sound effects and made the process much more uncomfortable than it needed to be. One week, we ended up as partners again and she ended up wrapping my shoulder. This shoulder-wrap wasn’t an issue for me, but having her as a partner made it an issue. As expected, she made sound effects, but this time she stated the obvious as if it was new information that nobody would have ever suspected: “Wow, this is squishing your boobies huh?”... Emphasis on the word “boobies”. Jesus Fucking Christ, it was already awkward as hell before she even brought that up, why would she say something like that?? I didn’t even realize that until she brought it up. In fear of being subjected to her uncomfortable BS again and feeling violated, I texted her and told her that she’s been making me feel uncomfortable, and to please stop being so…. Weird. I get it’s an awkward thing to wrap up your classmate’s thigh, but that’s a moment to keep comments to yourself. Her response? “I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY-” Just… Stop it. I didn’t introduce the topic as a big deal and told her not to worry about it, but she kept apologizing for it nonstop. Just endlessly, like everything else. Even when I tried to change the subject to something else, she just kept apologizing for it practically until she went to bed. (She has a bedtime at 9:30… At 16 years old.) All of this stuff contributed to my overall hatred toward her. I don’t like her at all, and it’s a wonder I didn’t explode and insult her entire personality and deplorable behavior to her face (Meg Griffin style). Things are just so awkward and awful whenever she opens her mouth, and it just doesn't ever stop. But because of all of this, when it came time for my Senior prom, I decided to secretly invite one of my friends from that class as a plus one, and NOT Storm. I was worried that if I told her that to her face, I would all of a sudden be the new “Katie” in her conversations, because the infraction Katie did was so miniscule that it seemed to be less like a “betrayal” than what I did. (In hindsight, it was probably the other way around.) So… I just kept the whole thing to myself and so did the friend I took to prom (I’ll call her Beyonce. Because… She loves Beyonce.).

If this wasn’t bad enough, strap in because not even three weeks ago, Beyonce was doing her usual schtick of making fun of random things. She once made fun of cool whip and the entire state of Texas at the same time and somehow made it make perfect sense. She should really have a comedy show, I swear. But this time, Beyonce was making fun of the name “Gage”, saying “Why would anyone name their kid after a 12-gage shotgun?” and “People named Gage seem untrustworthy. I wouldn’t want to be near one in a zombie apocalypse, because he’d just feed me to those fuckers.”. Funny stuff. Storm then said “My brother’s name is Gage”, and in order to preserve the flow of the conversation (and also to tick her off a little, I’m ngl), Beyonce asked her: “Is your brother untrustworthy?” And then without a single millisecond wasted, she said, in a Disney Channel comedy fashion: “Welll… We can’t trust him with his own life, sooo…”.. And then she laughed as if it was funny. Like.. Rib-stitches type of laughing. ….So then the others (understandably) went quiet, which left only me and her talking for a moment after her laughter quieted down. She complained about how confused she is that nobody finds her joke funny, and said that her joke had the “perfect timing and everything”... So then my idiot ass decided to say what I was thinking at that moment: “You don’t seem to be taking it seriously. That’s your brother, but you don’t sound sympathetic at all.” She tried to “defend” herself, but Mark interjected into the conversation and changed the course of it entirely, which just left her to sit there in silence, pouting. I felt bad for that statement, so I apologized for it over text when I got home from school. Quickly, we erupted into an argument, (with me holding back), and she ended up saying “What does it matter to you? He’s not your brother. If Beyonce said that about her brother, you’d laugh. But when I do, it’s bad.”. Beyonce’s brother is 8 years old…. So no, that would be even worse. …So then I had to explain to her how human decency works, and how making fun of your s*icidal siblings isn’t funny whatsoever and how that joke could be considered to be in very poor taste, even for people who like dark humor. When me, Beyonce or Mark made “suicide” jokes, it was about OURSELVES and it was usually in a statement like “I don’t want to take a test next period, I’m gonna kms.”... …Storm ended up getting so mad that we weren’t having a conversation anymore; we were just throwing shit around. I told her that if she was being livestreamed at that moment, she’d be bashed on the whole internet for a week or so and be called “evil” for that joke. In hindsight I shouldn’t have said that, but my goal was just to tell her how insensitive others might perceive her comment to be. She said that it wasn’t my business to tell her how to feel about her own brother, but I wasn’t doing that at all, that wasn’t my angle whatsoever – I was just explaining what people find funny. I even said repeatedly that I wasn’t trying to tell her how to feel, and that I know comedy can help lighten situations, but somehow she forgot about that part. And then she went on this whole thing about ending every massive text block with “Not that it’s YOUR business, or anything” to snap at me, despite me being in the room at the time of the joke... So I ended the conversation right then and there because it was pointless to keep going and I really didn’t want to spend any more energy on her. The next day, I apologized to her again. I retracted my statements and told her that I was sorry for talking out of line. She accepted the apology, and things went back to “normal”. She forgot about it, but I didn’t. …So here are the reasons why I feel bad, before I delve into the contents of the “hate letter” I wrote to her. Here’s a list of my crimes: 

I pretended to be her friend for an entire school year. - I hid the fact that I was going to prom with Beyonce from her, and then lied to her face repeatedly whenever she asked if I went to prom or not. - I got into business that wasn’t my own and criticized her. - I wrote a hate-letter to her that I directed her to read at home on the last day of school.
…Here’s why I feel bad: Storm doesn’t seem to be emotionally intelligent and is unable to control her mouth whenever she feels strong emotions. She talks nonstop about her second cousin’s friend’s pet hamster’s wife’s sister’s drama, hoping we’ll find something funny or interesting or impressive, while seeming unable to understand that she needs to change her tune. All she wants is to be listened to and understood, but nobody can and nobody truly wants to. She feigns confidence and goes overboard with compliments in the hopes of catching the attention of people who want to be friends with her. She’s not used to change and is very naive, to the point where (just yesterday) she quit her job at a fast food restaurant after only the first day of working there. For the longest time she didn’t have access to the internet, so she doesn’t really have a means to connect with other people through sharing videos or memes or whatever. …I feel like a bad person because I knowingly, intentionally played into all of this just for the pathetic reason of making her shut up in class. It’s despicable what I did, and I’m beating myself up for it every day. I was just originally going to leave the school, block her and never talk to her ever again in my life, but when she made that joke about her brother, I decided (stupidly) to take it upon myself to be the bearer of bad news. I gave her a letter. Within the “hate letter”, it isn’t actually hate, per se. It’s more like… A report on the behavior she needs to fix, as well as an admission to my lies over the course of this whole year. I told her the awful truth. I told her about everything I mentioned in this post and tried to keep it “professional”, though I did end up going as far as to say “you have all of the attributes of an obnoxious piece of stale bread”........... And what’s worse is… I told her to read it on the last day of school, and my reasoning is pathetic at best. I told her to read it on the last day of school because I didn’t want her to burden the class with her nonstop ranting about me, since she, Mark and Beyonce are sophomores and I’m the only senior in the “friend group”, which means that I left the school an entire week earlier than them. I’ve been intentionally delaying her pain and still talking to her over text acting like things are “normal” so that she doesn’t read it early, knowing damn well that on that last day of school, my words are going to hurt her so badly that she might not be able to recover for a while. In the letter, I told her that by the time she reads it, I would have already blocked her because I don’t want any more conversation with her due to me feeling so bad and having nothing more to say. If the plan goes right, she’ll read it on May 23rd, and on that day I will block her.

I feel awful for all of this. I feel like a monster for this. It’s painful knowing that I’m going to cause her pain and that I planned when it’s going to happen, but at the same time I feel like she deserves it. But at the same time, I know damn well that it wasn’t my place to do that. I should have left everything alone. Nobody I can talk to irl would even hear me out; they’d just stop at the words “hate letter”, which means my only option is to seek advice from people on Reddit. Do my motives for doing things make sense? Am I actually a bad person for this? Am I the asshole? Does she deserve what she’s getting? 

Edit 1: I removed some asterisks (they're annoying).

The state I live in has trash drop-offs all over the place. Yes, there is trash pick-up service, but you can also just head over to what is basically a nicely maintained mini-dump, with receptacles for trash and recycling and even over-sized items, and drop it all off for free. It's nice, and since I live just close enough for it to be convenient, I don't bother with trash and recycling service.
The place I hit is setup as a big loop, with the main trash dumpster off to the left at the "top" of the loop, and then all the recycling dumpsters are on the path out so you can throw trash and then throw recycling and get all done in a smooth couple of stops. The area by the trash dumpster is wide, enough so that you can easily reverse two big SUVs in there or three compact cars. Standard etiquette is that you pull up and around, then reverse in, making sure to leave room for others since, while it's not busy, there is a steady flow of cars in and out all day.
Well, this past weekend I dealt with a boomer lady who clearly didn't understand etiquette. She was ahead of me going into the area, she pulled around in her big, silver SUV, backed up, and tried to take up the whole space. I drive a sedan, and I know how to drive it well enough that, once she was in, I pulled around and backed up and parked right next to her. There was room to open car doors and get out, but not as much room as usual there. I'd say it was about the same amount of space you'd get in a parking lot.
She didn't like this, so she had to move her SUV again to push it further over away from me. Then, as my wife and I were loading out her trash, she has to come up to us and snippily say, "just couldn't wait, could you?"
I ignored her for most of this, mind you, as I just wanted to get my trash out and (having read this reddit enough) I know engaging doesn't stop them, it just encourages them. My wife, though, was already annoyed at the woman trying to take up the whole area, so she was like, "wait for what?" and this caused the two of them to go back and forth for a few seconds with the woman railing at us about being impolite.
Then, hilariously, she called us "rednecks". Bear in mind that while the area surrounding is farms, we're in a historic city area, and I look like a grunge rocker. My wife laughed and I couldn't stop myself from saying, "oh, fuck off."
We drove off and then just saw the woman one last time when she slow drove around us as we threw out our recycling. I have to assume she was trying to get our attention, but I was back to not engaging. Still, she was rude, entitled, and doesn't even know how to insult someone properly. Just a really weird moment.

Using a throwaway account since I don't want to give the batch and college away!
Reddit keeps recommending this sub to me, and I am filled with nostalgia seeing many of the posts - seems like a few days back when I got into an IIM 10+ years back after the gruelling mockups, exams, GD and PI. Reading some of these posts is sometimes funny, sometimes sad, sometimes wants me to put down some unsolicited free wisdom, so here goes :

1. Life is not over if you don't get into an elite IIM. One of my batchmates was so obsessed with one of the IIMs that they decided to give CAT again, and then shifted to one of ABC. Got into an amazing consulting gig, travelled the world, and few years down the line, was diagnosed for depression and is now recuperating. Another grad college friend, who always wanted to get into IIM or XLRI, but never could crack CAT or XAT ended up in the same IT firm that he got through post grad school and is now having the time of his life living in a Scandinavian country with his family and kids, and already bought a house there. So - IIM is not the end of it all!
   
2. It can be a rat race even after you enter the college. You are in a room with similar folks, and you have to fight it out for placements, cracking academics, extra curricular and what not. Are you one of those who excels in pressure and competition? Then go for it! Are you one of those that doesn't like stress - then nothing dire will happen if you stay out of the rat race and take a chill pill and see what works for you - it could be enjoying the company of like minded folks, it could be the actual academics which interests you and puts you in a path to a doctorate, or it could even be a completely non-MBA related passion like movie making. Bottom line - You do you!
   
3. Be prepared for life to give you surprises even after the MBA. Coming back to my batch, two folks died during Covid leaving behind young kids, one guy lost his wife, and another had a stroke due to work stress. Sometimes, the top percentiles and all those high salaries can be meaningless if life decides to give you a whack on your head.
   
4. I saw some posts saying 18 lpa, 20 lpa as averages are not good salaries. Firstly, it is a lot, considering the current macroeconomic situation and economy. Secondly, if they say 18 lpa, it is never 18 lpa, it could be 12 fixed + 2 bonus + 4 one-time cash/stock options - be ready for that reality. Having said that, even this salary shouldn't be taken for granted in the current situation - I'm part of many IIM groups where internships and even final placements are getting difficult and help from alumni is sought continuously for placements (many of these never make the news), forget about average salary. So, when you read even 'audited' placement reports, take it with a pinch of salt.
   
5. The world is changing much more rapidly than ever before - in my organisation which is a global software behemoth, roles are getting redundant due to investments in AI and folks who have been in the system without up-skilling are being let go. So when you do the MBA or even if you don't, focus on these evolving trends and develop your skills in these areas - they will help in the long run.
   
6. And lastly, life doesn't end even if you don't do an MBA - can't stress this enough!
   

I(43M) have been married to my wife (45F) for 15 years now. We have 3 kids (9F, 6F and 2M).
My wife and I are kinky, we are mainly into bondage and some mild impact play (relevant).
Since we had kids, we had to cut back on our “play time”. Maintaining a vanilla sex life is already challenging with 3 kids, let alone carving the kid of alone time needed to safely engage in BDSM.
About a month ago, we asked my sister (48F) to take the kids for a weekend so we can have some alone time. She agreed to take pick them up from our house Friday evening, and drop them off Sunday night.
Saturday evening, while we were engaging in some bondage and impact play, my sister starts blowing my phone. By the time I was able to answer (I had to take care of my wife’s safety first), my sister is knocking our door down.
We were frantic, and didn’t do a good enough job at hiding the rope marks on my wife’s wrists. My sister says that her daughter is in the hospital (just a simple sprain while playing soccer)and she needs to go. And, we didn’t notice, but she clocked my wife’s “bruises”.
The next day, she arranges some alone time with my wife, and tells her if I’m abusing her, then she will support her to report me and leave me. My wife was embarrassed, but she explained the whole thing to my sister. Then she told me what happened.
I talked with my sister, and also explained the situation, even if it was very mortifying. She seemed to accept our explanation.
Fast forward two weeks, and we get the cops and a CPS agent at our front door. Apparently there was an anonymous complaint that I was physically abusing my wife and kids.
I was treated like a criminal, the kids were questioned separately, as was my wife. I didn’t even think about my sister, but my wife did. She took everyone to our bedroom, showed them our toys, and even offered to show them some homemade movies if it was going to convince them. Thankfully they believed her and then left.
My wife again called my sister, who admitted to calling the cops multiple times, but when they did nothing, she called CPS and hoped that they will investigate.
My wife again showed her our toys, went into explicit details I never wanted anyone to know about our intimate life, and finally my sister was convinced. She said that she was sorry, but she was only doing what she thought what was right.
But I was deeply hurt that she thought that I was capable of doing what she accused me of, that she could have cost me my kids, my freedom and my job. So I told her that I am not ready to forgive her.
She says that I am the AH, that it was a logical conclusion, and that I should be happy that she is willing to go this far to protect my wife and kids. So AITA?

Considerations on Sexual Immorality, Gender Identity, and my friends Non-Denominational Church.
A good friend of mine from a fairly conservative evangelical background is considering becoming a pastor at his non-denominational church. As part of the evaluation process, they asked him to write a paper on these topics that he is not an expert on.
He asked for my opinion and I offered to share it online to solicit constructive criticism, notes of encouragement, and or reading recommendations on these topics.
I believe his goal is to be faithful to the scriptures, loving to those outside the church, and challenging to those inside the church, as most of us could do better.
What he wrote is in the quotation marks below.
“1: Scope of the Issue
Sexual immorality has become a besetting and ubiquitous issue in our culture and in our churches. While many aspects of it are not novel or unique to this time and have clear scriptural input, there are others that bring challenges to our church for which we don’t have obvious precedent. The main point of these comments is to try and answer three questions with some degree of specificity: (1) how do we make ourselves a place where people who do not know Christ will feel welcome to come and learn of Him regardless of where they come from, (2) how do we pastorally care for people who have come in to the church with pre-existing circumstances related to sexual immorality, and (3) how do we equip our members to represent Christ to those in their lives that are dealing with these issues. We want to do this in a way that does not “walk a tight rope” or compromise to appease, but honors Scripture in its commands to both show compassion and exhort and correct. We must recognize that every individual circumstance is unique, and many will require careful and prayerful consideration, but this is meant to give a framework for that consideration.
2: Scriptural Basis for Corporate Response
There are many references we can point to that discuss and define sexual immorality throughout Scripture and many of these will be used below as we consider specific examples and situations. Let us start, however, by looking at passages that deal with corporate response rather than individual sin. It is clear that the Corinthian church had significant issues in this area, and much of Paul’s first letter was devoted to it. In chapter 5, Paul states that when sexual immorality is discovered in the church we should “mourn” over it and “not to associate with immoral people.” Importantly, he also makes clear in vv. 9-13 that these comments only apply to those “who bears the name of brother.” He explicitly writes, “not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world…for what have I to do with judging outsiders?” This is key in informing our response to those who are not members of the church. If it is our desire to see sinners come through our doors and come to know our Savior through our ministry, then we must be welcoming, accepting them where they are. This is not to say we hide or compromise the biblical position, but it is not an issue on which we want to filter people at the door. There are three categories of people in sexual sin that we need to form a response for. First, those just coming to the church who have not committed to it – these should be treated the same as any we are reaching out to with Christ’s love. They need Jesus, not behavioral change. Next, those who have recently joined the church but have pre-existing sexual sin patterns. This can and should be addressed with patience, dignity, and love. There are often many sin areas in the life of a new believer, and it is prudent to discern how and when to address each of them. Lastly, those who have been members in the church for some amount of time and fall into sexual sin. This is the group that Paul is primarily addressing in 1 Corinthians. While sex within marriage is a private issue, sexual sin cannot be a taboo topic. It needs to be addressed regularly and clearly. We need close enough relationships within the church that such problems do not fester in the dark. We must avoid the typical church pattern to vilify the first group, never see the second group, and pretend the third group doesn’t exist until it all blows up in scandal. May it never be.
3: Consistency Issue
There is a tendency in our Christian culture to treat some sexual sins as worse than others. Like the Corinthians, some things we seem to have accepted as just ubiquitous parts of our culture. Knowing the prevalence of promiscuity and fornication among teens and single adults and usage of pornography even within the church, we tend to address these as issues of indwelling sin, similar to anger or fear of man, with offers of accountability and understanding when someone falls. By contrast, when it comes to homosexuality or adultery, it is often a church discipline issue. We view homosexual marriage as a major problem, but remarriage after a non-biblical divorce is rarely addressed. These inconsistencies lead to stigmatization and polarization and should have no place in the church. The criterion for escalation should be unrepentance, not the nature of the sexual sin. It is clear from 1 Corinthians that all should be taken seriously, but none should be vilified above others.
4: Culture and Identity
The major underlying problem with many of the sexual sin and gender issues is that they have come to be culturally bound up with people’s identities. This is not a new phenomenon and is not unique to this issue. As far back as Acts 19, you see people becoming “enraged” because Paul had threatened the Ephesians’ cultural identity as worshipers of Artemis. People continue to find their primary identities in their employment, hobbies, sports teams, or families rather than Christ. None of these should be accepted, but none should be reviled either. If a person does not know Jesus, they are dead. How they identify themselves is of no concern. Once they have been made alive, they can be taught that “whose” they are is more important than “who” they are. All identity outside of Christ is not sinful, but if it takes paramount importance, it may become so. A person who recognizes a tendency toward same sex attraction may label themselves as gay or lesbian. This should not be considered a sin issue unless it becomes, for them, their defining characteristic or leads to sinful actions. We should recognize the difficulty of this struggle and support such a person rather than get hung up on labels. There must be clear distinction between identifying same sex attraction and engaging in homosexual behavior. These should be the guiding principles underlying everything that follows are regards individual cases.
5: Public Facing Information, Guests, and New Attendees
Considering what we have discussed, and Paul’s assertion in 1 Corinthians 5 that we ought to reserve judgment on sexual immorality to those we call brother, I would submit that public facing information regarding the church (i.e. website, app, etc) should not publish a position on sexual immorality, marriage, and gender identity. Doing so effectively places the filter at the door so that people who do not know Christ may be turned away from it. This is not tantamount to tacit approval. In appropriate contexts within the church, these topics should still be discussed and addressed, but I do not believe it is consistent with a biblical treatment of unbelievers to place it in a public facing forum. If we have guests or new regular attendees who appear to be engaged in a cohabitating or fornicating relationship, a homosexual relationship, or other sexual sin, this should not be a priority to address unless we have discerned that they are believers and join the church. Even then, it is important to draw a distinction between someone who deals with same-sex attraction and someone who engages in homosexual behavior. The next seven points are meant to discuss, in broad terms, how we should address those who join the church with pre-existing relationships or identity issues:
6: Promiscuity, Cohabitation – Hebrews 13:4, 1 Cor 7:1-2, Ex 22:16
Much of the biblical discussion on promiscuity is by inference. Clearly, sex was meant to be inseparably linked to marriage and outside of that context should be considered immoral. For those who join the church already in a sexual relationship who are unmarried we should apply Exodus 22:16 and encourage them to marry as soon as possible. If they do not wish to marry, they should be encouraged to separate. Paul acknowledges in 1 Cor 7:2 that marriage is the best remedy for “temptation to sexual immorality.”
7: Adultery, Divorce and Remarriage – Matt 5:32, Matt 19:9, 1 Cor 7:10-11
This issue is given much more explicit biblical instruction but is often glossed over in our Christian culture due to the messy landscape of divorces and remarriages. In cases where non-biblical divorce has occurred, if reconciliation is possible, this should be pursued. If reconciliation is impossible because one or more parties have remarried, it would not be sensible to divorce again in order to achieve reconciliation. The principle to apply here, I believe, is from 1 Cor 7:17-24 summarized in verse 20: “Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called.” This is not an ideal circumstance, but it is the best way forward in an imperfect world. Of note, polygamy was common in the culture of the early church, and while not ideal, was accepted by the church, as evidenced by the qualifications for elder to be “a husband of but one wife.” We have polygamous cultures even within our local community and if they came to Christ, we should not counsel them to divorce all but one wife and thus disrupt their social structure. It is not ideal and would disqualify them from eldership, but they should remain as they are. Whether marriage after unbiblical divorce in the past disqualifies a man from eldership is a case-by case question for the eldership.
8: Pornography, Sensuality, and Lust – Lev 18:6-18, Matt 5:28
As mentioned above, use of pornography has reached a high saturation point within our culture and within our church. While once thought of as simply a male issue, there is a growing trend toward gender parity in pornography usage. It is an issue that should be discussed with some frequency within our church. For those that join the church and view pornography regularly, it needs to be made clear that while the world has largely destigmatized it, it is still sexual immorality. Furthermore, this isn’t just limited to nudity and pornography, but any sensuality that leads to looking at someone “with lustful intent” is the heart equivalent of adultery according to Matt 5:28. In our culture, it is not possible to avoid such things by just turning away. We need to address the heart issues of idolatry, selfishness, and satisfaction in Christ. Practically, how should we deal with those who have on-going struggles with pornography, sensuality and lust? Should this preclude them from eldership? From deaconship? Taken strictly, this would preclude nearly all men from eldership. These require individual evaluation from the elders, but a guiding principle should be, if the person is repentant and there is evidence of growth in their life, we should consider more responsibility and continued discipleship.
9: Homosexuality – Lev 18:22, Lev 20:13, 1 Cor 6:9, 1 Tim 1:8-11
From the above references and others, it is evident that homosexual behavior is sexual sin. We cannot equivocate on that point. As we have discussed above, if a person who is already a believer and in the church and struggles with same sex attraction, we should approach them as we would handle anyone who is sexually attracted to someone to whom they are not married. If such a person decides that homosexuality is not sinful and begins sexually immoral activity, we should deal with them in the same way as any member who falls into unrepentant sin and go through the processes of correction and, if necessary, of church discipline. It is important that we draw a distinction between same sex attraction and homosexual behavior. We can do tremendous harm by demonizing same sex attraction and creating a taboo around it. A person who is struggling to abstain from homosexual behavior should be supported and encouraged. I believe Paul’s strong statements about not associating with sexually immoral people applies to those who remain unrepentant. Much more nuanced is the issue of how we address those that join the church already in a homosexual relationship. What about the married homosexual couple who join the church with their adopted child? Should we break up their family? I believe, in this case, the same principle should apply as to those who have gone through an unbiblical divorce in the past. We should apply 1 Cor 7:20: “Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called.” We can recognize that this is not ideal, but it is the best we can do in a fallen world just as we do with someone who is married after unbiblical divorce. Whether should apply to a homosexual couple in a long term committed relationship who are not legally married would be an individual discussion with the elders. Again, these are nuanced cases that will need individual prayer, discussion, and discernment. I believe a great deal more patience is called for when a new believer joins the church that has a history or present reality of homosexuality, even if they are unrepentant at first, believing that homosexuality is not sinful, than we would demonstrate to a person who has been in the church for a period of time and then decides to pursue a homosexual relationship.
10: Bisexuality – Heb 13:4
Bisexual attraction is no more or less of an issue than anyone who finds that they are sexually attracted to someone other than their spouse. This is not a rare or unique circumstance, even within the church. Someone who is practicing bisexuality is, by definition, not confining sex to the marriage bed, and this, therefore, qualifies as sexual immorality. The issue, here again, is one of identity and cultural acceptance. If a person “identifies as bisexual,” the real issue is not the bisexuality, but the fact that they identify themselves primarily by their sexual desires, and not by Christ. It would be equally a problem if they “identified as heterosexual” and that was seen as their defining characteristic. If such a person were to join the church, our priority should be in helping them see their identity in Christ rather than focusing on renouncing their sexual preference.
11: Transgenderism/Non-binarism – Psalm 139: 13-15
It should be noted that the next two points should not be considered in the category of sexual immorality, but as they are connected to the same cultural moment will be discussed here. It should further be remarked that transgenderism is a modern issue with no direct reference in Scripture. It is a challenging issue that often falls prey to oversimplification and scapegoating. It is not sufficient to simply state that a person should identify with their born gender. There are those born with ambiguous genitalia and those born with sex chromosome abnormalities such that “born gender” is not necessarily accurate. These occur with a frequency of 1 in 448 births on average which is not particularly rare. The majority of people who consider themselves to be transgender do not fall into these categories, but the fact remains that these categories exist. Unless we plan to embark on genetic testing, we must be careful how we assert someone’s gender assignment. Furthermore, we must acknowledge that much of the gender confusion in our culture is due to a distortion of biblically accurate masculinity and femininity in our culture of which the church has been widely supportive for generations. Many transgender and non-binary individuals consider themselves so because they do not fit into the traditional boxes our culture has created for the genders. The church can start by recognizing that these boxes are incorrect. We can also acknowledge that gender differences and roles are far less important than most human cultures perceive. Christ himself challenged many gender norms in his ministry and Paul maintains “…there is no male or female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Gal 3:28b) It is much more difficult to recognize this issue as a sin issue than many of the above concerns. If someone wishes to be addressed by different pronouns than they once did or dress differently than they once did, this does not amount to immorality. Once again, this can be an idolatrous identity issue if the person sees it as the central characteristic of their lives. There is often an inherent pride in asserting that such a person does not feel they fit in the body created for them, but if they come to love Jesus and understand and believe that they are “fearfully and wonderfully made” then this issue may become moot. Whether or not they revert to dressing differently or using pronouns they did when they were younger is largely immaterial. This also addresses the issue of people who may have undergone permanent physical changes. While we should not endorse such modification if it is being considered, there is no reason to reverse such a thing in order to return to a base state. We must recognize that this is a group that has a high propensity toward mental health concerns, instability, and suicidality. They need love, support and prayer, not scapegoating and extra-biblical expectations of conforming to a cultural norm. We must further note that this group as well as the homosexual group have often experienced psychological and even physical harm from others in our culture, sometimes in the name of Christ. We must foster an environment of champions physical and psychological safety for these people.
12: Asexuality – 1 Cor 7:25-38
Asexuality also should not be considered sexual immorality. There is, in fact, wide support in Paul’s letters such as in 1 Cor 7 for people, if they are able, to remain unmarried and be “anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.” We tend to champion the model of the nuclear family in our Christian culture, but Paul sees chaste singleness as a better way. There should be no pressure from the church to make sure that single people pair off and get married because it is expected of them. As this state has been culturally identified with the LGBTQIA movement, it is seen on the same spectrum as the sexual immorality and gender issues discussed above, but it is not. It can still fall prey to the same issue of an idolatrous identity as some of the above issues, but it need not be so.
13: Glass Ceiling
In the event that God sees fit to bring people from these subgroups into our church, there would inevitably be a glass ceiling. The question is at what point. The four logical points are: regular attender, member, deacon, and elder. Regardless of their background or position, all should be welcome to be a regular attender. It is also clear, from the biblical requirements for eldership, that on-going problems or engagement in any of the sexual sins would disqualify them from that post. The middle two are less clear. I would submit that the bar for membership should be very low. This step, in my opinion, is when they would “bear the name of brother” and not before. Even if they disagree about the sinful nature of homosexuality, this should not disallow them from becoming members as long as they agree to submit to the churches position and not cause division. Allowing them to become members gives us the pastoral authority to speak into their lives, and we would hope that over time the Spirit would work in their hearts to convince them of the truth. Putting such a person in a deacon role would probably not be wise but would need to be evaluated prayerfully on a case-by-case basis. The difficulty here is that, while a position on homosexuality is not a salvific issue and should not be considered a core doctrine in the same way as the deity of Christ, for example, it is a sin issue. There is a limit to how far we can “agree to disagree” and still uphold our duty to root out sin in our midst. Once again, we should also distinguish between a struggle with same sex attraction and engagement in homosexual behavior when we consider our response. There is also a glass ceiling when it comes to marriage. While I believe we should not break up existing homosexual marriages, we should not participate in creating them. The marriage covenant between a man and woman was created, in part, to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church (Eph 5). This should not be co-opted to excuse or normalize immorality.
14: Nuance and Edge Cases
The above outline is by no means meant to be exhaustive or definitive. It is meant to provide a lens, supported by scripture, through which we can view these issues and consider corporate and pastoral responses. It should inform how we view the people that walk through the door from a wide range of backgrounds and how we equip those in our church to be Christ’s ambassadors to those in our community. Every person and circumstance, history and baggage will be different, and any non-nuanced position would be inherently evil. I pray we have many opportunities to talk, think and pray through specific situations that God would bless us with the chance to be a part of. What an honor it would be to be used to reach into broken lives like these with the Gospel of Grace.
15: Action Steps
As we consider practical and philosophical ways of responding to the above, I believe we should start from a position of corporate repentance. If we wish to truly reach out and touch the lives of broken people in need of a Savior who live a life of same sex attraction or gender dysphoria, we need to begin by recognizing that a great deal of harm, emotional and physical, has been inflicted on this group by the Church for generations. There are homeless people living in our area who were kicked out of their homes by parents holding a Bible. There are those who have been subjected to horrific methods that amount to torture under the guise of “Conversion Therapy” from Christian organizations. The only “conversion” we should concern ourselves with is to a regenerate heart. Attempting to change someone’s sexual attraction is very much beside the point. We cannot hope to be a place where such people can hear about Jesus unless they feel safe to enter our doors. We must also fight the tendency to consider sin in this area as something worse than others, even in non-Christians. James 2 says “…For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all of it….So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.” As we consider corporate and pastoral responses to the argument above, we must start by removing our own planks and repenting for the historical actions of the Church.
Practical steps that we could consider taking would include: removing the statements from the website about marriage and sexuality, especially directly under our Core Beliefs. Again, this is not meant to hide or equivocate on the truth, but not to set such a barrier before someone even walks through our door. Secondly, we should consider how to address these topics within the church. A Sunday morning sermon is not ideal as it is time limited and a unidirectional conversation. A small group course format would be a consideration. We need to equip parents and family members of adolescents, teens, and adults with language to talk about these things in loving, humble, God-honoring ways. In the longer term, we need to consider how we can make our church a place where people would feel comfortable inviting friends and family who look, think and act differently than we do. We need to find a way of projecting safety and inclusion even in our public facing information. This isn’t a balancing act where we must make it clear early and often that we “love the sinner but hate the sin” as the saying goes. We just need to love the sinner. Dealing with the sin can come later God-willing. A third application point is to be mindful of what we say and what we allow to be said without being checked. Certainly, joking at the expense of those who are dealing with these issues is unacceptable, but we also need to work to avoid getting dragged in to pseudo-political discussions on bathroom issues, sports issues or other divisive concerns that have no bearing on the church.
I recognize that these proposals have the potential to divide the church. There are some who may leave the body over these sorts of changes. I would argue that it is our responsibility to them as well as to the unreached in our community to have those discussions and risk some of them leaving over it. These are not all things we should change overnight but after ample opportunities for discussions and prayer.
16: Conclusion – Mark 2:15-17
At its core, these are not issues of who someone loves, sexual attraction, or even specific sex acts. The core is idolatry and identity. When acceptance by others, self-determination, or physical pleasure become the central force driving our lives then we have become idolators. Though our idols take on different shapes, the struggles in this space are shared by all. Whether you are identified by your profession, your family, or your gender identity, you are not being identified by your Master. Building fences around or within the church because someone sins in a different way than us cannot be allowed. Making the excuse that we are somehow “protecting our children” by shielding them from people in our community who desperately need a Savior will not show our children who Jesus is. Within the church, we cannot be afraid to “speak the truth in love.” We need not and cannot shy away from sin in the church, but we must recognize that the Spirit works in each of our lives. Often this happens over a period of time. We should be prepared to walk alongside our brothers and sisters in this journey for as long as they need.
There is a significant correlation between this community and their relationship with religious groups, and the “tax collectors and sinners” that Jesus sought out in His ministry and their relationship with the religious leaders of the day. Our heart should reflect His. Jesus responded: “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Mark 2:17) If our church was filled with transgender people and gay families that loved Jesus, God would be glorified.”
Thank you in advance for any constructive criticism, notes of encouragement to and or reading recommendations on these topics that I can pass along.

My 6 month Cava-poo, Cocker-poo cross has recently started her first heat. She’s had a strong personality since day one but I’ve mostly been able to fend away the puppy blues as my mum, sister and I have been able to share a schedule with her equally so have always had support and rest breaks. We also have made sure she gets two decent walks a day with some safe free running which has worked wonders getting her calmer in the house. She’s a very active dog having inherited a lot of the working cocker spaniel in her genes.
Since she’s been on heat she has changed in behaviour. She now barks when anyone walks past our house. She doesn’t settle for very long and her crate/sleep routine has gone out the window. She’s also eating a little less and has been sick a couple times. All these things we have been reassured are common but it’s made the days with her more difficult. We can’t let her off outside and struggle to walk her once. The last time I tried at a quiet time another dog owner showed no respect when I asked her to keep her male dog away from mine and I was forced to pick my pup up and walk away when the dog continued to follow us.
Did anyone else struggle with their puppies first heat? Does her behaviour seem normal? Is it worth a trip to the vet? Are there things I should be doing to help her during this time? The past week has felt difficult enough but I’m beginning to feel like I’m failing her.

It is difficult to find real life RR relationship. Especially not an option if you are already taken. There are various vents and one of them - reading or writing fiction. There were topics about RR in scifi written by prominent authors. But how about you? Do you write or maybe have ideas for fantasy setting or world-building? Please share.
Couple examples from me:
Setting 1. Right man in the wrong time
In XXI century experiments on recording human personalities started, a lot of people were "read" and saved on hard-drives, but there were no technology to create artificial bodies for them. So the personalities of test subjects, volunteers and commerical clients remained stored. In parallel genetic treatment research lead to tech that could exteng lifespan, but unfortunatelly it had side-effects of higher risk of cancer for men. As a result this tech only worked well for women. Because of that a lot of parents started to chose female gender for their kids, as their daughters could live much longer than sons. This shifted gender balance and led to female-dominated society. Which sort rewritten history portraing the past of male-dominance in shades of black and all the men of the past as abusive, power-hungry despots. It was backed by statistical facts such as drop in crime rate with reduction of male population.
Eventually the anti-male campaign receded and some interest and curiocity towards men returned, but there were few men left and they were often too spoiled and not very attractive. So there was a high demand for men in various spheres of, well, entertainment. Besides of lack of supply there was a conflict between romantized image of primal men and fear that their brute force may be too disruptive in a disarned pacifist decadent society. A commercial solution was found - a company manufactured artificial male bodies that were looking hot and attractive, big in all the right places, yet lacked the brute force, were very light and designed to be harmless to women. Even a teenage girl could easily overpower them. They used the stored consciousness of men from XXI century and put these men into new artificial bodies. Bodies were not cheap, so the resurrected men owed a big loan to the company and had to work basically for free to pay off the debt...
Story is about a girl who rented such a guy as a birthday present for herself. She had to return him soon, but they figured out that his knowledge can help her a lot with her studies. Despite some technological advance, few people of her epoch can really understand principles behind the science - they can use it, maybe replicate, but not understand or advance.
So besides a romatic affair they can work together to help her and studies and suddenly a "genius", once she makes a career and earn some money - she can pay off his debt. And until then - rent him from time to time for both pleasure and studies.
-- I liked the story but it is long abandoned --
Setting 2. Purple letter
Every invention can be used for evil. So called Selena transformation was quickly adopted by shady brothels - it allowed to transform women in ideal sex-slaves or walking sex-toys. Very attractive perfect bodies, not aging, able to move and speak, but weak and helpless, easily stored after "work shift" and unable to run away. This was of course against law, but went under radar for a while, a ot of women were converted against their will. Then one of them escaped with the help of a client who smuggled her from a brothel and was eventually killed by thugs. Nevertheless, she managed to get help went to TV. She told her story and that caused a huge impact. Police raided brothels and found thousands of victims... A lot of people went to jail, but public outrage shifted from those who run these illegal dens to those who paid for their services and were silent... This caused a political shift and a lot of blame by association.
Some male politicians, celebritites decided to voluntary undergo Selena transformation. This way they demonstrated solidarity with female victims and scored a lot of points. This was good for career and removed the burden of "male guilt" from them. This made them physically weak and thus not dangerous to women anymore. Also reduced their individual carbon footprint. Last but not least - change made them look more sexy.
Some militant feminists and these male allies gained more political power and pushed mandatory transformation for jailed criminals. Reducing their danger and also reducing costs of prisons. Transformation of men went to industrial scale: it reduced crime and also was "green". Eventually it become mandatory and special comission decided who and when must come to the tf-hospital and be transformed. They sent men so called "Purple letters" - instruction to come up and pass transformation. Job perspectives were sour for remaining "organic" as insurance discounts motivated business to fire organic men and only hire transformed, because they were safer for women.
Also transformed that didn't volunteer require a "guardianship" of a woman. Such as wife, girlfriend or female boss. If there is no such woman - guys are sent to adoption centers that are nicknamed "boyshops".
Plot of the story is about two friends that were transformed and soon adopted by two ladies. Not for "fun", or at least not just for fun. Ladies run a business and required some new employes, they figured that the can just purchase two guys instead of hiring them...
-- This story contains 4 chapters so far but is also on hold, not much readers' interest --
Just wanted to share the settings and hopefully read some RR-fantasy setting ideas you guys have

So my little sister is gen z . She’s 20 now. But she was basically home schooled because she was sick from 8-15 years old. She basically watched a lot of YouTube and had full access to the internet not monitored in anyway. I say this part because I think it played a big part in her influence. I left the home for the military at age 20 when she was 8. While I lived with her she I was her big influence. She was girly and never acted in a way that showed she was uncomfortable In girls clothes. I’m a female bisexual but feminine. Queerness runs in my family we are all Neuro divergent in some way wether it’s ADHD or high functioning autism. I think people like this are bound to be more “free”
But I’m wondering if y’all would really consider her trans. When I came back from the military she got a boyfriend that was transgender. she’s had a crush on a girl before . Ever since she got him as a BF she all of the sudden was talking about being trans at age 16. She never dresses like a boy just a teen that didn’t have a style. And I told her many people take time to know them selves. Not to mention we grew up with abusive parents than never let us develop our sense of self. She would act inappropriate, and where to thigh high socks in mini skirts when her sister’s boyfriend was at home. I remember asking her why she felt she was trans and she said because she doesn’t look like a girl so she might as well be a boy. She had Crohn’s disease so she’s under developed for a girl. But I told her the way you act and dress can help you be more feminine. Just because you have a flat chest doesn’t make sense just be a boy? I feel like the reasons she gives doesn’t make sense. That and she still only dates men. I suspect that my father abused her, and she feels that being a woman isn’t safe, because women are prayed upon. it’s common when women are sexually abused then they gain a lot of weight because they feel like who wants to touch an extremely fat person so then they feel safe in the extra weight makes your body feel safer. she’s changed her name and now we can’t even call her by her biological name. I’m just trying to be there for her as her big sister. Only time will tell.
As a transgender person what people are you attracted to? Do you think I’m valid for thinking she doesn’t know herself because our history of abuse?

So my little sister is gen z . She’s 20 now. But she was basically home schooled because she was sick from 8-15 years old. She basically watched a lot of YouTube and had full access to the internet not monitored in anyway. I say this part because I think it played a big part in her influence. I left the home for the military at age 20 when she was 8. While I lived with her she I was her big influence. She was girly and never acted in a way that showed she was uncomfortable In girls clothes. I’m a female bisexual but feminine. Queerness runs in my family we are all Neuro divergent in some way wether it’s ADHD or high functioning autism. I think people like this are bound to be more “free”
But I’m wondering if y’all would really consider her trans. When I came back from the military she got a boyfriend that was transgender. she’s had a crush on a girl before . Ever since she got him as a BF she all of the sudden was talking about being trans at age 16. She never dresses like a boy just a teen that didn’t have a style. And I told her many people take time to know them selves. Not to mention we grew up with abusive parents than never let us develop our sense of self. She would act inappropriate, and where to thigh high socks in mini skirts when her sister’s boyfriend was at home. I remember asking her why she felt she was trans and she said because she doesn’t look like a girl so she might as well be a boy. She had Crohn’s disease so she’s under developed for a girl. But I told her the way you act and dress can help you be more feminine. Just because you have a flat chest doesn’t make sense just be a boy? I feel like the reasons she gives doesn’t make sense. That and she still only dates men. I suspect that my father abused her, and she feels that being a woman isn’t safe, because women are prayed upon. it’s common when women are sexually abused then they gain a lot of weight because they feel like who wants to touch an extremely fat person so then they feel safe in the extra weight makes your body feel safer. she’s changed her name and now we can’t even call her by her biological name. I’m just trying to be there for her as her big sister. Only time will tell.
As a transgender person what people are you attracted to? Do you think I’m valid for thinking she doesn’t know herself because our history of abuse?

Hey guys! So my wife and so decided to start streaming on TikTok in addition to already being on twitch and kick. However, the lap top that I stream from had a few years of bloat from unused programs and files, mixed with some malware, im sure, from everything I have downloaded on it. I tried streaming on TikTok studio and it was incredibly laggy. But, when I multistreamed on twitch and kick (through restream on obs) previously, there were no issues with choppiness.
So here’s the Cliffnotes:
1) Decided to factory reset laptop to get rid of all the extra programs / files / potential malware. All important stuff was moved over to google drive beforehand.
2) redownloaded obs and TikTok studio and set everything back up. Followed some YouTube tutorials for proper obs and TikTok stream settings.
3) tried streaming on TikTok and it works great. Had wife check my live to double check audio and for lag. All good there. Tried to stream to twitch and kick and now neither are working. When I go to look at my live stream it’s the blue disconnected screen on twitch, and says offline on kick. In obs, I am connected through restream.
4)Logged back into restream and disconnected my twitch and kick accounts. Reconnected the accounts and Put my stream keys back in. Tried streaming again, same thing.
5) disconnected restream and logged into twitch account on obs to stream directly and see if restream is the issue. Same thing, blue screen on twitch.
What could the issue be? Maybe something with windows security firewall blocking obs or what? I don’t recall ever having to mess with that. And I’ve never had this issue before, but I’m guessing the reset caused some settings to default that block the broadcasts.
Side note:
my wife and I applied, and got accepted into TikTok agencies. So we are waiting to get out stream keys.
My goal is to connect all 3 platforms in obs using the RTMP plugin that allows you to multi stream, and remove restream from the equation. This will also allow me to not have to runTikTok studio and the same time and free up bandwidth. I am using the autium plugin right now too.
My laptop isn’t anything too crazy. A Lenovo legion 5 from Costco a few years old. It is considered a gaming laptop. Don’t have the specs on me right now.

So I just got snipped about 11 hours ago. I live in a small European country, where snips are not very common. Waited almost a year and a half for my appointment (6 months mandatory wait for potential regrets, then crazy wait times and some admin issues). At least it's for free. I took the rest of the week off work, although I don't really get any official sick days (benefits of being self employed, with the disadvantage of no work=no money).
I will try to give a dry account of the experience, mostly for anyone considering it or those that are worried and stressed about it on D-day as I was.
Emotionally I was frazzled all morning before the procedure, but by now I am slowly easing into it.
The procedure itself was scalpel with small incision, and cutting of about 1cm of the duct, and self dissolving stitches. The doctor was nice, helpful, explained the procedure and attended to all my worries.
It went quite fast and smooth. Maybe 15-20 minutes, it felt longer but I was out fast. The local injection on the left side caused some sharp pain, but it went away quickly. Didn't feel almost anything else. The right side injection was almost painless, but the procedure was unpleasant for a bit. Not really pain, more of a feeling of being kicked in the nutts, without the sharp pain that comes with it. All in all I would say the pain was at most 6/10, and usually less than 3. Discomfort peaked at like 9/10 at times, but it was quite tolerable with some breathing exercises and the doctor being amusing.
When I left there was some pressure and discomfort. I went home to rest and have been in bed aside from toilet breaks. Lying down with legs slightly raised, and almost constant cooling. There is pretty much no pain so far, and still some discomfort, around 1/10 at most. Standing and walking around can get it to like 3/10, but usually I barely feel anything. Some leg movements can cause a momentary jab of minor pain, but really nothing serious. Didn't take any painkillers at all so far, and I don't feel a need to as I am quite comfortable (but I was always in favor of feeling the pain and understanding it).
Special mention to my absolutely angel of a wife, who drove me to the procedure, waited with me and helped me relax, took me back home and is doting on me left and right, despite having a hectic schedule with our very hyperactive elementary-school-age kid.
One thing I will be happy to know, if anyone has experience with that specific type of procedure: I have a band-aid on the stitches. When would be a good time to take it off?
Thank you, and I hope my account of the procedure will help other people come to it more relaxed and at peace. I will update if anything special happens. Otherwise probably in a week or two to report how easy it was, and in 2 months to report success.