First off, my apologies for this very long post...It's hard for me to word this out as my communication skills are very bad.
My therapist told me I need to work on the two above so I bought a workbook on each of them. So far I am working on the Assertiveness workbook. I am having a lot of analysis paralysis with trying to understand the concepts and was wondering if anyone had an idea on how to approach this.
According to my workbook this is the definition of Assertiveness: Not a strategy for getting your own way, but instead recognizes you're in charge of your own behaviour and decide what you'll want to do and not do and accepting the consequences and the responsibility for your actions (same for others). Similar to having a sense of agency. There is no attempt to take control from one another. When you are being assertive, you're making a deliberate and conscious choice.
Boundaries, I haven't dived deep into it, but fro what I am getting: it's something YOU do and not others (a.k.a. it's not about changing the other person) (i.e.) if you call me during work hours, I will not pick up. or if you call me names, I will walk away from the situation.
This sounds like it is heavily subjective and depended on person to person then. One of the examples in workbook, word by word: "Rather than say our coworker shouldn't be handing us her own work (controlling her behavior), we can simple inform her that we won't be doing it (controlling our own way)" ^so from what I understand, you can have boundaries and apply assertiveness but can still be seen as a jerk, rude, problematic? I.e. a kid saying no to their parent. Employer to boss, or person with higher authority. You just have to be ready to accept the consequences of your deliberate, conscious choice (possibility of getting arrested, fired, etc.)
So tying into applying stoicism + virtues. I am thinking the same thing, that it's all subjective at the end of the day? One of the ones I am thinking about is JUSTICE. Example: going through an unfair breakup and the other person is stone-walling you. So you want to take matters on your end and speak of the unfair treatment even if it means going to the other party's side (friends, family). Some people might think that it's unhinged or doing too much, but what if it helps give you that closure or aligns with your understanding/BELIEFS of what JUSTICE is? (very SUBJECTIVE)
Like this is quite extreme, but justice also implies that it relates to morality too, but there are factors like culture, religion and personal experience that shapes one's morals. For example one part of the world, maybe it's moral to execute someone who was a murderer or raped someone. So if I carried that belief while claiming to want to practice stoicism, is that right?
I am just confused on the whole black/white, right/wrong/, effective/non-effective. How do I see gray in all of this? It's causing a lot of confusion, sorry for my long message and if this might not make sense as I am trying to rewire a lot of old toxic behaviours from my upbringing. I am worried that I may be practicing stoicism wrong (still in the introduction phase), because I have had people close to me tell me sometimes I think I am being fair, but then I was actually controlling and demanding, which I seriously was unaware (due to cognitive distortion, being a late-bloomer, my toxic upbringing, etc.) So I am grateful for my friends for bringing awareness to my "unfair" judgements.

This is a bit of a strange situation, and one that I know I probably don’t look the best in. My girlfriend (26f) and I (24m) have been together for about 4 months. We’ve known each other since we were teenagers, though we fell out of contact a few years ago until last year, when we reconnected after seeing each other again.
Without getting too much into it, when we first started talking again about 8 months ago, she was very independent. She would hang out with friends, she would workout and go to the gym, and we largely still lived our own lives. When we started dating, that looked like it would still continue, but something happened.
Long story short, she was targeted by a human trafficking ring about a month into us dating. I was thankfully present at the time and we managed to get her out before anything really awful happened, but it sent her into a manic episode that alienated a couple of her friends, though the closest of her friends have stuck by her through it.
In the months since then, she’s been spending pretty much every moment a day she can with me. I’m talking about 19 hours a day on face time on average, except for the times I have to go to work. She regularly cancels any meetups her friends invite her to. She gets irate and cries when I hang out with my friends, and it usually leads to a big fight afterwards. As a result, I’ve almost stopped hanging out with them completely, except for an hour long phone call a week I can sneak in while she’s sleeping. When she comes down to visit, she gets separation anxiety, to the point that she asks me to come into the bathroom with her when she showers (not join her in the shower, just to sit around while she’s in it), and is upset if she wakes up and I’m not there (even if I’m just in the next room).
I pointed out that this behavior wasn’t healthy, and I encouraged her to hang out with her friends more, to foster and maintain her relationships apart from me. That led to a big fight, where she called me an asshole who was invalidating her feelings. I’ve tried not to, but I know I’m a pretty emotionally dead person (I’ve got my own baggage from my childhood that I’m working through), and that causes my words to come out a little more callous than I intend them to. I might have worded it in a way that truly made me sound like an asshole without realizing it, but I tried to clarify that what I said was out of concern for her.
I want to make it very clear that I do not want to break up with her. She is otherwise a very loving, bright and wonderful person, the best I’ve ever known. She has helped me work through a lot of my own demons, and I want to try and help her through this very difficult portion of her life.

As a brief introduction, I decided to brainstorm a metaphor for how moving on normally looks like for people. I always notice when people create these metaphors, they rarely mention that everyone makes mistakes when moving on, we’re emotional creatures and we do things out of jealousy, anger, spite and sadness that can really hurt us. I wanted to make a metaphor that showcases the fact that everyone makes mistakes, and whilst moving on seems like the most difficult task you can go through, in reality, with some self care and self reflection, you can make the task much, much easier. Feel free to leave any thoughts or different views that could be added in below this post and I hope this can help a few of you guys out!
Imagine you are in a pit, on the side of a cliff. You look up and you can see the summit of the cliff, it seems light years away from you, a truly daunting cliff to climb. In front of you, there are 2 ladders. To the left is your ladder and to the right is your ex’s ladder.
The break up: You have just been broken up with, your ex has sat and thought about this decision for the past weeks or months and has finally followed through with it. You are now alone, at the bottom of this pit, with only a ladder in front of you to help you get back to the summit you were once on. However, you have been broken up with, you are emotional, you don’t even want to look at the summit, looking at the summit is daunting, you know how much work you have to do, but thats hard, you want what is easy, you just want your ex back, you want to them to be in the pit with you and help you, but doing that will leave you both at the bottom, you have to go your separate ways to reach the summit. Your brain will not accept this reality, at least for now.
Pre contemplation of climbing: You’ve wallowed in sadness and despair, you have weeped and cried and all along your ex has been making progress up their ladder, they’ve been doing this before they even broke up with you. For the first time, you look up, you’ve accepted that you need to start climbing and you can’t isolate yourself any longer. However, as your eyes align with the summit, a small figure can be seen on the other ladder, they seem so far away yet you can see them so clearly. You can see them clearly progressing so much quicker than you, they seem happier and to you, this all seems unbelievably unfair. You start to question, how could they leave me here? In this pit all alone, how could someone who said they cared about me just allow me to be here without trying to help? The first emotion you experience? Anger. More anger than you’ve experienced in your life. You can’t fathom why someone would do this to you, so what do you do?
Climbing the ladder (poorly): You race up the ladder, the best way to get over them, would be to catch up to where they are on the ladder quickly, right? I mean, they can’t hurt you if youre in the same position as them. Well, not exactly. You’ll do everything in your power to get up the ladder as fast as humanly possible, you’ll go out and party, you’ll get with other people, you’ll just generally be reckless and its reflected in the way your climbing the ladder. The entire time your climbing, you’re not even looking at each step on the ladder, you’re looking directly at your ex, youre hyper fixated on them. Some days you shoot miles up the ladder, then stump yourself by trying to shout at your ex when you get close to them, your hand slips and you fall back to where you started that day. You’re beginning to lose focus of what matters, you’re putting too much focus on your ex’s progress because you believe if you catch up to them they wont hurt you anymore. They will always hurt you if you’re on the ladder, even if you’re ahead of them. This is an incredibly confusing time, you think to yourself that you should be making progress, when in reality, you’re almost back to the start. The inconsistency is eating away at you, you begin to realise that your new life of empty fulfilment isn’t actually helping you, so what do you do?
Taking time to reflect: You step away from the ladder one day to reconsider your approach. You begin to realise that hating them will get you nowhere, focusing on your own ladder and taking your time with each step will allow you to progress in a way that doesn’t hurt you or cause you to fall. If you haven’t been doing no contact to this point, this is normally where absolute no contact would begin. Behind you in the pit, your memories with them flash up, you look at them one last time and smile knowing the amazing experience you shared with this special person, you turn around, knowing that at one point, you were deeply in love and so were they. Never ever doubt if they were in love with you or not, they wouldn’t have stuck around if they weren’t, they will also always hold some form of love for you, even if it isn’t romantic, you were special to them, just like they were to you. You realise that if they can make it that far up the ladder, so can you. It was tough for them too, they made similar mistakes to you and also fell, but they went through this process, they reflected and they started to climb too. So what do you do?
Climbing the ladder (the correct way): You decide that when climbing the ladder, you’re not going to look up anymore, you’re going to look at every step and you’re going to climb each and every single step one at a time. You’re focused, you’re determined and you’re ready to progress. You take time to reconnect with the things you loved, giving you an extra boost up the ladder. You take time to reconnect with old friends who you may have neglected during the relationship, whilst also forming new connections with new people, giving you an extra boost up the ladder. You do things that fulfil you and make you genuinely proud of yourself boosting your confidence and giving you an extra boost up the ladder. Before you know it, you’re at the summit. You did it! You didn’t even know you were close to the summit, but now, you just get to walk forward on the new path you’ve found to follow. Whether your ex is there on that path or not, you don’t mind, you know that the path your on will lead you somewhere great and you will hope that their path leads them to somewhere similar.
Moving on is never easy, if it was, Taylor Swift wouldn’t be a successful musician, but understanding the fundamentals of moving on and knowing that making mistakes is okay is what leads to true change, true growth and true happiness. If you read all this, thank you! I’m currently going through a break up and writing this has allowed me to remember what helped me move forward in other break ups. The concept of the ladder is simple, I feel as though you can apply many situations to it to somewhat showcase how much progression is being made by you and how your behaviour is affecting your progress. Also just as a side note, if you’re one of the people who want your ex back, just remember that you can’t get them back if you’re on the ladder, you simply cannot reach them whilst you’re on it. If you’re ever going to get them back, they’ll be there waiting at your path on the summit.

I’ve been friends with this person for many years, over 15, and our relationship has evolved over the years. Now this person will say or do things that I don’t think is right. For instance… we were talking about her dating life and she said men from my work are walking red flags. She told me to send her bf my engagement ring because she “wants the same one”. She is really mean to my fiancée, like she always bickers with him or “jokingly” will make fun of him for everything. She has brought up my number of sexual partners in front of people I was dating. If she shows me a song and I play it around a group of people she will immediately say “I showed you this song”. She used to hardly invite me out but when I got a group of my own friends she always wants to be invited. She also talks bad about every single person we know. Also when I first started dating my now fiancée I wanted to keep it a secret from her but she pried so I told her and then suddenly she was hanging out with him almost every weekend and multiple days a week (without inviting me of course). She hated our relationship in the beginning said she wanted nothing to do with it, but now she’s all about it saying “my besties are getting married”. There’s so much more I can keep going if yall more let me know.

Welcome to Welcome to Need Or Greed

Fresh and ready on the EU server Need Or Greed is a guild started up by a group of friends now looking to recruit and turn us into a tight knit band of focused and active players. Whether you want to focus on crafting, mob grinding or player killing we've got space for you

Why join us?

Right now we dont have what the huge guilds do; armies of players, leveled up hideouts, expansive alliances and endless daily group content. However we do offer what they cannot, a small community of players that want to focus on getting better together, putting in the time to grow both our fame and our teamwork. We arnt here to scream and shout demanding you focus on mandatory CTA's, we're here for even the new players wanting to find whats right in the game for them. So have a look at the details below and come join us if you think you're home is here.

Details of the guild

• Based in Martlock, players who enjoy going out to do red zone capping with a desire to build bomb teams and solo capping groups when we are big enough.
• Daily activity amongst our players, always available and around to play.
• Flat 5% tax to fund the guild activities as well as a 5% tax from guild activities before split. These go into building the guild's economy and eventually allow us to provide re-gears.
• A well structured and organized discord and ranking system with explanations towards how the group content functions and general game mechanics to help the new players.
• A team of veteran players from NA who are always around to help new players with questions or getting their own economy started to make sure every guild member is self sufficient.
• Open players to multiple kinds of content but a strong focus on: Ganking, and Dungeons. As we grow we will form teams for HCE, GvGs , Hellgates and Crystal Arena.
• Organizing groups for important content such as Ava dungeons and might boosting.
• So come say hi, lets conquer together https://discord.gg/cq7eqKUwkv

Hi guys.
Let me tell you a bit about what’s going on in my head right now.
I’m feeling down, not knowing what to do, super exhausted. I work at a friend’s bar, and although it’s coming to an end, I’m getting more and more tired of dealing with people. I don’t stop being nice to customers, but I simply think I’ve lost the patience to deal with people.
In my love life, everything is going well. I found someone who makes me happy, after several relationships that didn’t work out. I was about to get married and decided to end everything because I didn’t feel happy with that person.
However, there is a girl I dated many years ago (12) in college, with whom I never lost contact. We never talk about love life, although we both know that both of us have relationships. Whenever one of us has a birthday, we always talk for a while. And this affects me. Sometimes I feel like I’d like to try again and resolve what never worked out, because at that time I was in a huge depression and didn’t feel capable of giving her my best.
It seems like I have the urge to leave everything behind and say that I’d like to try again with her, but at the same time, I don’t want to abandon what I have.
I know it’s a bit of mixed feelings, but I’m confused.
Any opinions?
I’m about to go to a psychologist because I feel like I’m getting depressed again.

I suppose the title says it all, but I'm hormonal and tired and sad so I'm gonna let it out here!
I'm the youngest of 4 girls. Two of my sisters have 3 children, the other has 1. For all their pregnancies, my mother was super involved. We've had a family group chat for a year and a half, and 2 babies came between Aug and Nov last year, so I even saw my mother checking in with those 2 of my sisters once a week at least "how are you feeling? how's the baby? how big is he now? any bump pictures?". She does not ask about mine at all!
She was happy for me when I told her, happy when I told her the gender, but she never cares to check in. I've posted pictures of my bump in our groupchat, she ignores them. I sent a video of a kick I caught the other day, she ignored that. Two of my sisters always send love my way when I send stuff though, so I just started asking if they wanna see bumpdates and videos, and send them these things in DMs.
I just feel so unwanted! I know she'll be on my ass the second he's born, but I just wish she'd care a bit about me rather than just meeting the new baby.
It's not like I didn't make an effort with her before being pregnant either. I made a point of seeing her once a month, picking up stuff for her if she needed help, tried to make friends with her new boyfriend (as my sisters can't stand him), walked her dogs whenever I went to see her. I was never her favourite because of my mental health issues and ADHD, so I was trying my best to be a better daughter.

Hi guys.
Let me tell you a bit about what’s going on in my head right now.
I’m feeling down, not knowing what to do, super exhausted. I work at a friend’s bar, and although it’s coming to an end, I’m getting more and more tired of dealing with people. I don’t stop being nice to customers, but I simply think I’ve lost the patience to deal with people.
In my love life, everything is going well. I found someone who makes me happy, after several relationships that didn’t work out. I was about to get married and decided to end everything because I didn’t feel happy with that person.
However, there is a girl I dated many years ago (12) in college, with whom I never lost contact. We never talk about love life, although we both know that both of us have relationships. Whenever one of us has a birthday, we always talk for a while. And this affects me. Sometimes I feel like I’d like to try again and resolve what never worked out, because at that time I was in a huge depression and didn’t feel capable of giving her my best.
It seems like I have the urge to leave everything behind and say that I’d like to try again with her, but at the same time, I don’t want to abandon what I have.
I know it’s a bit of mixed feelings, but I’m confused.
Any opinions?
I’m about to go to a psychologist because I feel like I’m getting depressed again.

I'm fed up with people shaming women for unwanted pregnancies, especially in our country.
Even towards teenagers?? Like, bruh, they're minors and they probably weren't even impregnated by someone their age. Somewhere there's a manipulating pedophile rapist existing and the problem was the women?? Err, the 'girls'. Minors can't consent! If impregnated by someone her age, that guy can still have a normal life and people don't even have to know he's a father.
And don't get me started on women in age. They're still frowned upon for unwanted pregnancy. I've never been pregnant ever, but 5 years ago my best friend had an unwanted pregnancy before our graduation, when everything is supposed to be starting. She wasn't the same ever since. She's ashamed. She doesn't go out with us anymore or attend get-togethers because she admitted she's still ashamed because she's a "mom"??
Idk if it's just me but maybe we should hold the men in the same light? Men who accidentally impregnated women are just seen as... Men, probably a little "wtf man you messed up" or commonly "wow, you scored". NOOOO THAT'S A GUY WITH A POOR PULLOUT GAME AND RUINED A WOMAN'S PLAN IN LIFE FOR THE NEXT 19+ YEARS WITH A 5 MINUTE HIP THRUST, AND, HE PROBABLY COULDN'T EVEN MADE HER CUM.
Because admit it or not, women can get pregnant whether or not she's awake, sober or consented. Or maybe she trusted a man to wear a condom or pull out. A woman can get pregnant even if she didn't orgasm 💀. A man can only impregnate when he orgasmed.
And now, we shame women. And abortion is illegal. And we mostly force them to marry that guy who couldn't even make her feel good. What a way to live.

Trigger warning: pregnancy loss support question/stillbirth. I’m terribly sorry for the losses of every one in this group, I’m hoping for some guidance on how to help my friend.
My friend suddenly and unexpectedly lost her baby a few days ago, 3 weeks before their due date. We live in different states, so I’m trying to figure out how to best support her from afar.
I sent a DoorDash gift card and a text saying how sorry I am and that I’m here for whatever she needs, even if it’s space. Is there anything else I can do? I read that flowers, self help books, even cards can be overwhelming and upsetting so I don’t want to overload her with grief gifts…
Would a gift card for a massage be a good idea for when she’s ready? Is it too much to send a text once a week just sending her love? Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

Let's start by saying that this is my first (official) relationship ever.
A bit of background:
I've always had trouble socially relating to people; I'm so insecure and afraid of rejection, and I also had strict parents. Throughout the years, I've gained a bit of freedom for myself but it's not enough (I still live my parents).
I've always wanted to get close to people and have friends (I currently have just one) and a relationship, but I'm also afraid that I'm not interesting enough, that I won't know what to talk about, etc. So my strategy has always been to act cold towards people and wait for them to approach me first. If they approach me, it must mean that they have at least some interest in me...
In the past, I often found myself daydreaming about how a loving relationship would look like: he would love me a lot, accept me for who I am, not judge me for my physical little imperfections, have great emotional and physical chemistry, and I would love him back just the same. I know it might sound too perfect, but that's what I know I've always craved.
I have had a very few relationships/situationships where the men just never asked me to be their girlfriend and make things official. I think those "relationships" failed in part because I was so cold towards them even if inside I wanted to kiss or hug them first. I always hoped they asked me to be their girlfriend. Also, I always stayed till the end, until THEY didn't want anything to do with me anymore.
So with my current boyfriend, all things seem different. I met him at a mall. HE approached me first. At first I wasn't really attracted to him physically but he started telling me about his life and his varied life experiences. He seemed interesting. We exchanged numbers. Then we started going out. He's very different from me. He has a different clothing style than mine, he likes urban music, he has tattoos and has 1 piercing.
My very first impression of him was that he looked like the bad-boy type, so I didn't think he was interested in anything serious. But right on the second date, he mentioned he was looking for someone who really cared for him. He said something like: "it's nice to have someone that cares for you, even for the little things and even asks if you ate already, if you slept well, etc." Before that moment, I didn't have high expectations and was probably ready to accept whatever 🤦🏻‍♀️.
As time went by, I started liking more things on him, finding a few things in common. Until he asked me to be his girlfriend after one month of hanging out. I had waited for that moment for so long, and it finally came, but I didn't know how to feel. I felt kind of sad. Even though I knew he and me were looking for a serious relationship, I felt fearful, but I kept going.
We've shared beautiful moments so far. I feel at home, peaceful, respected, and loved when I'm with him. But sometimes I catch myself judging him for small imperfections. I'm physically attracted to him and we have good chemistry there, but I can't help noticing what he does "wrong." When we text, he sometimes writes with bad grammar and I can't help but judge him inside. Sometimes he sends me videos of him dancing happily for me, and I can't help but think "how isn't he afraid of being silly in front of me or even others?" I believe me judging him might stem from the same type of judgment I received when growing up. I just hate it and don't want to be like this. I know no one is perfect and yet my mind is obsessed with perfection.
My BF has had a difficult life and experiences, and yet he smiles all the time, has fun, is free, and has lots of love to give. He even says he loves me, but I don't feel sure to say it back to him. My mind tells me that I'm probably just using him and getting his love while I'm not able to love him back. I feel like a bad person for that. I do care for him. I've cried with him listening to how he feels when sad of bc of past hurtful events. When I look at him, I see someone sincere. I love to have him close, hug him, kiss him, feel his odor, listen to his voice, listen to him singing. Yet I have these other horrible thoughts that I can't let go.
I feel like I wasn't really ready for a relationship as I believed, and that there's a lot of work I need to do on myself, but I don't want to lose him either. I can't decide if I really like him, if I'm obsessed, if I'm dependant or what.
Need some advice on what to do and hear others perspective on this.
Sorry for the long post. I tried to give enough details 😅. Thanks in advance.

Looking for members to join Midnight Grove! - dm to get the discord link -

!! BEDROCK ONLY !!

REALM CODE: nAPvS-T9d2g
Looking for members to join Midnight Grove!
(18-19+) Hey all, I own a friendly survival realm. It has shops i’m working on right now and you can make ur own as well. In ur own town or village. This realm is still a work in progress and please be patient and kind to others while we make it look amazing!
•• RULES! ••

1. No Griefing or hacking
2. Be kind to other players
3. No stealing from players
4. No Trolling aloud whatsoever
5. Don't destroy others builds
6. NO killing animals (unless it’s sheep, pigs cows etc and it’s has multiple of two.)
7. no killing other players please.
8. AND NO AFK!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

If i see you killed a CAT, DOG, CHICKEN, SHEEP (if it’s a pet and it’s named // says no killing)
or any other pet animal. You only get one warning and if you do it again ur banned.

• keep inventory off (may turn on later)
• conditions on
• texture pack: Quadral
• last, it as addons from the marketplace

PLEASE JOIN THE DISC SERVER SO YOU GET UPDATES WHEN IM GONNA ADD NEW ADDONS OR A TEXTURE PACK! ^{-- DM ME AND I'LL SEND YOU A LINK TO IT. --}

Hello!

At the beginning of the year, we kicked off a series of events to celebrate... well a number of things! The subreddit growth is insane, so we hit 10 million subscribers while we were just finishing up celebrating 9 million...

But we started that celebration with a new Essay and Video contest! I'm happy to announce that after a long series of deliberations, we're ready to announce your winners! First and foremost, I want to congratulate everyone on producing such wonderful submissions. I and the other judges absolutely enjoyed reading/watching them, and I hope this encourages you to create more. I'm always here for what limited guidance I can give.
Reminder: Prizes are funded through Reddit's Community Funds program! The top 3 positions will receive gift cards to Crunchyroll's (formerly RightStuf) store! Please, I would love to see what you're going to purchase with them.

Writing Contest

1st Place: In This Corner of the World: Agency, The Past, and The Paths We Did Not Choose by VelaryonAu

VelaryonAu hits it out of the park with this essay. It stays true to the theme, starting strong and continuing that quality until the end. Much like Suzu's life, it expertly moves from point to point, example to example, all the while using succinct and pleasant prose. We all enjoyed every second of reading this piece and we think you will too. VelaryonAu wins a $200 gift card.

2nd Place: Gunslinger Girl and Confronting the Posthuman by paukshop

Paukshop delivers an essay that exemplifies the reason why we keep the themes for these contests vague, with it being a clever examination of a beloved classic under a unique lens. This is probably one of the best structured essays we received, clearly laying out step by step how each relationship in the show may evoke different interpretations of the posthuman. Its broad coverage and almost academic nature earn it 2nd place, winning a $100 gift card.

3rd Place: Puella Magi Madoka Magica: Eternal by baquea

As expected from a fan of Madoka Magica, and much like the show itself, this essay is dense with meaning. Baquea's prose ebbs and flows—sentences sometimes stretching out into labyrinthian snakes or curving back around into pointed statements. Regardless of what you think about the show or the writing style, this essay makes itself heard. Its clear passion and depth of knowledge towards the subject earns it a $50 gift card.

Videos

1st Place: Heavenly Delusion: Body Horror, Gender, & Transformation by thedman1954

This video is not only laser focused, it utilizes the video format pretty near to its fullest potential. The subject matter is exciting and engrossing, and it serves to be a vessel for the feel of the show itself. Editing is a strong point, using slick transitions and title cards to further illustrate key points. A nearly flawless entry earns it first place and a $200 gift card.

2nd Place: [Blue Reflection Ray]( I Want to Change!) by thegajumaru

Thegajumaru's "[Blue Reflection Ray] I Want to Change!" starts off in a peculiar way, but I think one of the best things about the video format is that you can experiment and be eclectic and maybe... go off on a completely non-anime tangent about Star Wars before jumping into your real topic of Blue Reflection Ray. The most notable thing about this video is just how watchable it is. It flows from point to point with ease—both the editing and script leading the viewer along, almost unbeknownst to them just how entertained they are along the way. This addicting quality earns thegajumaru a $100 gift card.

3rd Place: Grief in To your Eternity by paukshop

Pauk digs into a core concept of To Your Eternity in this video, following the throughline of our main character almost literally carries his grief for his friends and family with him. My personal notes on the video mention quote, "it's quite to the point and the point is strong," and in a sea of videos that are stretched out as long as they can for monetary's sake—it's a breath of fresh air. One of the hardest things to do in a contest like that is coming up with a concept that fits/subverts the theme, but pauk combining literal as well as metaphorical transformations, as well as adding a small personal touch, really elevates this video. He gets a nice $50 gift card for his efforts (in addition to his essay win!).
That's that! Congratulations to our winners, but also to everyone who managed to sneak in a submission. Please view the round-up of EVERYTHING here. I love seeing well thought out posts to the sub, whether that be in essay or video format. If you have any ideas on how to encourage this content, let me or the rest of the mod team know. Oh and also, if you submitted an entry and would like some brief notes on what we thought, message the moderators or PM me!
Winners, expect to receive a PM asking to confirm some information, and then accept your prize!
Thanks all!

Men 50 years ago used to have a say in what their wife does and wears. He used to be the sole bread winner and she used to take care of the home. This worked for centuries and generations but all of a sudden there are a bunch of cuck fetish men who have no say in their marriage.
They let their wife be friends with men, wear a g string on a beach and even when they have daughters they buy them revealing clothing when they are in high school. They are terrified to speak up about whats right and wrong
Many women are not attracted to submissive cuckish men, they want a leader. Did men just drop testosterone the past 2 decades? A man is supposed to be a leader in the home not a weak feminist person.

This is obvs just a vent but I'm starting to resent my mom. I love her so much, and she has always kinda been there for me growing up, On and off moments. She has been going through so much in the past 5yrs, battling cancer and many other medical issues following, I try to support her best I can, help her out, go on errands fowith her. Her health is deteriorating but she is in Denial aswell as constantly complaining (I don't mind this, I understand she needs to vent herself). Her cancer is incurable, the Chemo treatments are keeping it at bay for now. She is sound of mind.
Personally she is controlling as fk, (especially of me, I was always the mommys girl). She still tries to tell how to live, what to do. Like I have my own home, pay my own bills, and 2 children of my own. Yet, out of my siblings I'm the only one she enjoys company of and helps her out. She thinks she always knows best and wants things Her way always. She is vulgar..She swears, shouts, cusses out innocent people for simple mistakes/misundertandings. But when it is her..She is the Victim. She is nice to people she likes but..
She makes plans for my kids to stay there woth promises.of fun days out and sweets but they actually don't like to. Even they do it out of obligation because she spends most of the time telling them off, since she can't handle the noise, movement, mess anything that children naturaly are and do.
I can't even say her illness has changed her because she has always kinda been like this. Feisty, outspoken, strong willed..but she had more patience and respect for others before. Now, it comes and goes depending on her Mood or who she is interacting with. She honestly believes she can talk to people like Shit when they inconvienence her, but they can't do when she is in the wrong!!????
The physical change is she is less abled, She is living with daily pain but she refuses to stop moving and is on a shit ton of meds. Well, She has cancer but she is not dying for now. She's a fighter. And, i Know she has gone through a major truama life change. And I love her strength. But..I don't like this Mom. I don't like this Nanny.
And as much as I have to support my mama, and I will always best I can.. She's draining my energy. This is just the start 😓

Good Evening Everyone. 👻
My name is Courtney. I am 27 years old and I happen to live in Florida.
My favorite color is pink. I love listening to all kinds of music. Though my main preference is rock and metal. My favorite band is Ghost. If you end up with me you will have to deal with my addiction. (The band, not drugs or alcohol.)
I love going to theme parks, I love traveling, I love trying new things, I love to watch movies, and listen to music. I love Disney, Marvel, Harry Potter, and much more.
I am a plus size woman, I would say that I am on the smaller end of that spectrum. I know that I may not be everyone’s cup of tea, so please just don’t be disrespectful is all. I have been working on improving both my physical and mental health. It’s always a constant battle.
I would prefer a long term and genuine relationship. My age preference in men is 30+. I am looking for my best friend, my partner in crime, my Mickey to my Minnie. I am looking for someone that is genuine and loyal. Someone that isn’t afraid to be goofy and silly.
I eventually would like to settle down. I am only looking for something monogamous. I eventually would like to have children one day as well. I’m not necessarily looking for someone that is local. I am okay with some distance, at least in the beginning anyway.
If you would be interested in getting to know me, don’t be afraid to reach out. I look forward to hearing from you.
https://imgur.com/a/lhLkbIu
https://imgur.com/a/CeBV2JW
https://imgur.com/a/DL2zl0y
https://imgur.com/a/PYTEpTI
https://imgur.com/a/BfyqCLe
https://imgur.com/a/VnScFOi
https://imgur.com/a/oMa7f6B
https://imgur.com/a/UIbcSea
https://imgur.com/a/uPcsF2V

I smile and laugh, play, and joke around, but I also cry a lot, especially at night. I feel like a balloon that's been overinflated, ready to burst. I see no hope for the future, no motivation, no confidence, and no self-love. When I try to envision my future, I see myself stuck in the same place.
This started when I was 12, after 6th grade, and worsened at 14. Since I was 11, I've been babysitting my little brothers a lot. I love them and understand why I had to do it—my parents were struggling and working to keep a roof over our heads. It's not their fault, and I don't blame them. But for the past seven years, babysitting has been my daily routine. When my parents were home, they were either resting, spending time with my younger siblings, or doing family activities. Emotionally and mentally, I felt they weren't there for me. I never felt comfortable talking to them about how I felt. And I thought they had bigger worries than me, so I kept everything to myself but there was like three times were I’ve opened up to them . For temporary happiness, I turned to video games, the internet, and my dog. These distractions kept me happy for a while, but over time, they stopped working. I had no friends and stayed home all day. After sixth grade, I did online school for two years, which meant I spent my days playing video games, eating, and staring at screens. Without social interaction, I forgot how to socialize and developed social anxiety, insecurities, self-hatred, and no confidence.
I was isolated for two years, which severely affected me. When I returned to school in 9th grade, I couldn't make friends. I was always quiet, couldn't ask for help in class, and struggled to hold conversations. When someone talked to me, I got dizzy, experienced blurred vision, tunnel vision, and shaking. I kept my head down because I was so insecure about my face and body. Everything I'm typing is how I still feel.
When I was 15, we moved. For two or three months, I didn't go to school, staying in my room all day, watching my younger brothers, sleeping, eating, and browsing the internet. I was socially isolated again. When I finally started school, I met a girl who talked to me first. We became friends, and I felt a bit happier, though still insecure and sad. Eventually, I made three more friends, and we ate lunch together. However, as soon as I got home from school, my parents left for work, and I watched my siblings until late at night. This pattern continued, though they didn't leave as often as they used to. I had some alone time when two of my younger siblings started school, but I still had responsibilities, like picking them up from the bus stop and again watching them until like 10 or 11.
After more moving and struggling, we settled into a nice house, which I'm grateful for. But despite the change in living conditions, I still feel the same—full of self-hate, lacking confidence, feeling hopeless and unmotivated. I'm 17 now, not in school, have no friends, and feel worse than ever. I want to tell my parents, but I fear they won't understand, and nothing will change. No matter how many times my mom tells me to love myself or sends me motivational videos, I feel numb. Deep down, I can't imagine ever loving myself, feeling motivated, or escaping this hopelessness. I believe nothing will ever change. Am I wrong? Are my feelings even valid? Every single day, I deal with crying, fighting, and my name being called constantly. I can't do this anymore—it's overwhelming and exhausting. I'm bed rotting all the time, unable to take care of myself properly. I'm neglecting myself. Basic tasks like brushing my teeth, showering, and cleaning feel useless to me. Why take care of myself when I feel so low?
Don't get me wrong; I have days where I feel better and think I should take care of myself and dog, but those feelings only last a few days at most. Then I go right back to neglecting myself. I still get up to take care of my brothers, make them food, and clean up after them because I have to—otherwise, my mom would be upset, and I just don't want to hear it.
On especially hard days when I'm feeling more down than usual, I reach a point where I just don't care anymore. I won't clean up, though I still make food for my brothers because I would never let them starve. Other than that, I can't find the motivation to do anything else. Is this just me being lazy? Or is it something else? I lack the motivation to just do it. Are my feelings valid? I don't feel like they are. I don't know anymore—I just can't.
I feel so awkward around my parents and barely talk to them, especially about my feelings. It’s just never been that way. Three times, I tried to open up to them, but nothing changed. Instead, I felt like they were invalidating my feelings with comments like, "What do you have to be stressed about?", "When I was your age, I didn’t have anybody," "Growing up was hard; you're lucky," and "Depression isn’t real."
I'm grateful for everything my parents do for me and my siblings, but these comparisons to their past make me feel even worse. It makes me question whether my feelings are valid. Once, I told them I thought I had an eating disorder, and they just looked at each other, shook their heads, and laughed. That was me trying to open up, and it made me feel terrible.
I'm sorry if this seems jumbled; I just have a lot to say. I want to understand what’s going on with me. Are my feelings valid, or am I over-exaggerating, being dramatic, or having a victim complex?
Also I love my parents so much like I just wish things were a bit different and I’m grateful for everything they’ve done for us I really am I don’t want to seem disrespectful but I’m sorry if I’m coming off as disrespectful or ungrateful I don’t know.

TL;DR: boyfriend (M30) learnt my native language secretly to listen in on what my me (F30) and my family talk about.
Some basic info on us that I think is relevant:
My bf, come from a kind of rich country in europe, and has been living in the secondary country for all of his life. He has a good job but has had bad relationships in the past.
I (GF) come from a comparitively under-developed country and met my bf on holiday to visit my brother in the secondary country.
I met my boyfriend about 3.5 years ago, we spoke for a year while he visited almost every month even though it is far, he sorted out having me move to the secondary country where I have been living with him for 2.5 year. So far it has been great, he's kind, smart and very charismatic. I know all of his friends and family and nobody has said anything bad about him or mentioned anything about him learning my language so I think they do not know.
All my family speaks English fully but we default to a kind of small dialect of a language when I am home, they are here, or I am on the phone. He has no links to this community other than his step-dad who is from the same place as me, but has never hinted or even joked that my bf knows our language.
So. On with the story.
We were both home today, he is working on his laptop and someone from his work comes to the door and he has to leave urgently. This happens sometimes and is not unusual.
After a while I walk by the table he works on near the kitchen, and see that his laptop is still on and unlocked, with a document open in my native dialect, which as far as I knew he only knows a maximum of 5 words. I know it's bad of me, but I decided to snoop. I know that is dishonest of me but you can't not see the screen when you go to the kitchen and this isn't exactly something you would ignore, because its so unexpected.
I looked through the document, and it's basically small notes on a conversation I had with my brother earlier where my bf has listed down some slang phrases we used, which i thought was odd as my bf doesn't speak my language and incredibly intrusive (i know, irony). So by now I have to know more, so I carried on looking at his laptop and I saw a folder titled with my language and can see in there that he has been paying for lessons for almost 3 years and I can see all of his notes, which include writing practice stories in my language, letters and even watching tv shows. So I can see that he isn't just learning basic phrases, he has a very extremely advanced knowledge and understands almost everything, including slang we use.
Following on from this, I see messages between him and his tutor, explicitly saying that he is learning the language not to talk, but only to listen to me my family and my friends to see if we are looking to hurt him and if I mention something to a friend indicating that I'm cheating etc.
By now I'm angry, I know it probably look bad since I just admitted to snooping, but I've never given him a reason to think I'm scamming him or whatever, and I don't intend to.
Also, whenever I have been with family, he has made me translate what they are saying into English almost every day for 3.5 years while he has played dumb like he doesn't understand anything other than hello and give me beer.
Should I confront him and let him know all of this? some of this? I don't think I can ignore it as it is bothering me so much and I'm sure he will be back later tonight and he will know something is wrong. I love him of course, but I feel betrayed and now I'm worried about other things he may be hiding.

So I've had some issues for a time being with my parents. It all really started cause I didn't really want to come out of my room, and I told them I didn't want to go to college. I really thought they would lay off my back, but then it got bad really quick. I had gotten into an argument with my mom in the morning, and I told her that she sucked at parenting. I even listed why, and that's because she had diametric favoritism to my younger brother whom is autistic, and she's made him dependent on them, and telling me I had to be his role model and go to college according to the psychiatrist I've been seeing(It gets worse trust me). Mind you, this kid just plays video games all day, and they find him the "Perfect child." They don't even care if he does anything with his life or not. When it comes to me, they're all up in my business telling me do this do that. So anyways, my dad printed off a 4-5 page contract, and basically these rules were literally crazy(Ill attach all the images of all the contracts I have received from each of them) I had a mental breakdown, cause well yea what else am I supposed to do when I'm told sign away your life on this piece of paper which isolates me from everyone, and says if you don't do this, we wont sign your early grad approval form. I went through a really bad breakdown too, my face is still quite scarred from scratching myself, and since I have a history of sh in stressful situations, I basically relapsed because of it, and was thinking of dying cause of the amount of stress brought onto me. So I got mad, went home, and burned it. He printed off another page, and right after my AP exams he hands it to me . Tells me to read it. I say, I don't want to read it right now. He's like well you better. I still denied. He didn't like that, and we got into an argument where I told him I don't claim him as my father if he's going to be like this. He told me I was a "Gaslighting Manipulator," he then proceeded to hit me against the dash(3rd time, first with my mom), and told me to "Get the fuck out and walk home", so I didn't know if I was kicked out or not cause like. Was it just the car? Or just gone forever. I walked literally all the way to the highway by my house, and called my gf on the way who sent her mom to pick me up. I was shaking and crying so badly, and didn't know what to do. So I stayed at her place for about 5 hours ish, and when my mom threatened to call the police I finally came home. She even said "I looked for you," but idk how accurate that is. The next day, they had cut off my cell service, and I couldn't text anyone or call anyone, and they realized that. I needed to talk to my therapist, but I couldn't. I needed to tell them everything that has been going on, but I couldn't. The next day, my friends read the contract cause I came in crying. I talked the guidance counselor for like 3 hours. They told me they couldn't do anything like call cps because of no present physical abuse. I talked to a crisis worker, they told me I couldn't really do anything cause of the same thing too. Then things got wayyyy worse. It was around 4, on Friday, May 10th. My mom had came in. I told her I didn't want to see my psychiatrist cause we weren't clicking. She's homeopathic so it's not a good fit. She asked for other alternatives, I didn't know any at the time so I just said idk. My mom apparently called Martha, and Martha said that it might be best to get me committed. It's now 4:30, both my mom and dad walk in after I make myself food and think that oh I'll still be forced to go on call again so I might as well have some food before hand. I got my food, and I went down to the corner of the hallway. My dad, standing right by my brother's room. My mom standing right near the kitchen and front door. They told me get your shoes on we're going, I told them I didn't need it I just didn't click with her. They didn't believe me and I ran to my room. I was followed, I told him no. I don't want to be touched, and when I began to eat my food he basically grabbed me. I tried my best to escape him, but he had a firm grip around my arms and chest. I tried to find anything to latch onto while I was being dragged and shit was being thrown amongst the floor. I couldn't do anything I was helpless I just kept telling them to let me go this was abuse TwT. My mom didn't help either. I was dropped at the shoe rack to get my shoes on. I refused...my mom was then screaming at me "SHUT THE HELL UP YOU'RE GOING" I refused again, she said "ALRIGHT IM CALLING THE COPS." My dad told her to back off basically that she was not helping. But I was picked up again, and held onto the doorframe for as long as I could yelling "IM NOT GOING I DONT WANT TO", she basically just yelled at me,"YOU'RE GOING TO GET THE HELP YOU NEED..." Then she slammed the front door in my face I tried to grab onto whatever I could..but my dad switched his grip on how he was holding me I bit him in the arm and he pinned me down on the sidewalk holding my throat for a bit. I felt like I was going to die. I still kicked and flailed my arms and legs. My mom was there, and she tried to help, but as soon as she tried anything I smacked her in the face. I was thrown in the car right behind the driver's seat. I began to punch at the window, my mom said,"if you break that window I'm having your ass." I stopped, My mom said "good luck." As soon as my dad hopped in, I took advantage and said "I'm not going!," kicked the door open, and ran. I didn't know where to,but I had an idea. I had to avoid the roads as I knew my dad wouldn't come on foot. Hed come in his truck. I ran down the hill in my socks going through bushes just to get down it. I was on the left side of highway 14. Running, I saw my dad's truck and dipped behind a tree. He parked it along the side of the road so I just waited it out. I thought he'd get out, and chase me,but it didn't seem like he saw me. When he turned the truck around, I knew I had time to get away. I didn't know where to go, my first instinct was gf's house,but I knew he might come back that way. So I ran to a neighbor down the hill's house. I rung the doorbell basically crying on their porch, and said "I need help..." The man who answered the door was a retired physician. He asked me what happened I told him my dad basically was physically abusing me, and I didn't know where else to go. So I ran. He let me inside. Where he gave me a glass of water, orange juice, and lemon balm cake. Told me I need to eat more cause I'm a young person to grow. He seemed like a nice guy, he had friends he was going out with, and I felt bad I disturbed his time. He asked me all sorts of questions about me, and I answered truthfully and kindly. The first thing he did was talk to his neighbor Lois who recommended calling the sheriff. He did that, and basically it was just a waiting game. I shook and cried a bit, cause I was so scared. I talked to his daughter who was a child psychologist who told me I'd have to talk to my parents eventually. I didn't want to. The sheriff arrived maybe an hour later. He talked to me, I told him the situation he basically said I couldn't be running away,but he'd call crisis to get this checked out. I remember riding in the squad car back, and crying. I just didn't wanna go back. I waited outside the squad car while he talked to my parents. When he came back over he said that my dad was the only one who would be open to getting me a new psychiatrist. He called crisis, he told me I didn't meet the criteria. I mean I'm pretty mentally stable as far as I want to get clean. Uhm, so I talked to my dad a bit. I then went inside as the officer asked. My mom and brother packed their shit, and left. My father talked to the cop for a good hour, and when I looked out the window it's like he was being checked. I didn't know what to do, so I just did the few chores that I knew wouldn't get done cause my brother was gone. Took a shower, and made sure to turn off the rgb to my pc. My gf had a feeling, and I didn't want to tempt it. Then I fell asleep. Plus I'm supposed to get a sim card aswell that I pay for, but the package disappeared, and my gf feels really bad about it. So that solves one problem of not being able to contact people, but now my mom is literally on my ass. She gave me a contract too, I told her I don't want anymore contracts. We got into an argument, and she called me a "narcissist" I said I am? So are you. Starting to look like your grandma there(my great great grandma was a narc and she was raised by her) I was angry, still am. Like now, my family wont talk to me, or even look at me, and worst of all? My mom basically is trying to make me fail cause I have a tendency to oversleep, and she wont even come wake me up, and take me to school so shes basically trying to make me fail, even though I know if she does that her ass is grass.I don't wanna sign these bogus contracts, I don't even want them to be my family anymore tbh, but idk if they're narcs, or im just the narc here. Cause idk...its a really messy situation. sooooo Help? Suggestions? Is this normal???

So here we are at last. Hurrah. (In pirates voice )The end. Part 4. As it were. (Laugh at them) I'm just sayin I'm insane!
If I can even think i can change anything at this stage of the game, I must be insane. And yet I do believe. Because I believe in the goodness of us. And the reason I believe in the goodness of you, is because even within a world wot currently, externally, places so little value, on goodness, I still observe, the goodness shared between friends and good strangers alike. 100 times a day. More, if I pay closer attention.
And so by mine own eyes, the whitless witness, I believe in the goodness, I see in you, pretty much all o' you. But every day. And because I believe wot I see, so yet I have hope for us. So yea, that's me insane then! Ho hey, hey ho. And on we go.
So, dearly beloved we are gathered here today to confront the spaces we have allowed to grow between us.
To confront the void, from which our current sense of hopelessness, wot we are all stuck in together, but feeling alone with, eminates.
Look at them seriously Stevie.... challenge them to think about it with just your eyes.
The truths waiting in t'wings to be rediscovered to replace the bollockshit lies we have come to believe about each other, on t'other side. And each other, of course, is just another, way, of saying ourselves? Right?
For no matter how much, both sides doth protest of each other too much
We only are, ourselves. Together.
Just us lot. Making it up as we go along, and trying to not let on, together.
Right?
For better or worse.
Because only together can we rediscover and so reconnect with the common ground that we hadn't even realised was at stake, at the time, ways back when, which it woz. And which we then lost; gave up, infact. We had to; couldn't hold the common ground and prove each other wrong, so away we all trouped, and we didn't stop, until either side could no longer hear t'others poisoned lies.
And so our problem right now, is found within the truth of the words ’we can only do this together. And we certainly can't do this against each other. Because the truth of the this is only to be found listening to the words of each other. The thing we can only do together. Upon our common ground. Cumon. It's time to find our way back. Try to remember.
I told you before. Remember! Trust me, its going to get harder, but then you will Remember. Just stick with it a little longer. It will get better.
A moment in time for us to shine approaches..... Become stronger.
Cuz these strange days is the time of EitheOr. Transition Time, and we've been here before. Many times in fact. The only time in fact, to heal, the break, whilst it's actually a'breakin, round us. And us! Cuz once the spirit of our goodness is crushed, once we no longer feel reciprocation within our wider world, so we are forced into darkness to reset, allowing the break to go unfixed and the faulty cycle to complete, and so we are then forced to repeat, these crazy times again. And again. And again. Just Cuz we didn't learn the lesson in time, in time. This time around.
This bit in which we find ourselves right ere right now in fact, this bit in which we can't see the woods for the trees.... But still. I tell you buddy, woods are just full'o trees. Cumon. It's become time to remind yerself to think clearly again.
You are it's measure. We are, together. The measure of this bit, our time, these days, right now.
Just sayin
And this journey we all have to choose to take, to achieve all of this, can only begin when you start to believe in the goodness of enough of us again, and really I mean, when you choose to see, that just as on your side, some of those on t'other side of your particular divide, are gooduns too. Some notsomuch. Ja mais vu. But this is the truth that unites all sides, the truth that for us, will ever be, our humanity. (Dah dah dahhh) (Start rubbing head) And that journey can only begin after you have confronted the void buddy. A moment deep down, in some ways, some of us have always known would be waiting, didn't we. Haven't we. Known. That at some point in our future. A moment...... Just like this one.......
Well your future has arrived buddy. All of our futures have. Cuz Its time.
But you can do this. I believe in you.
REWRITE So firstly buddy we have to see what we have come to see. You and me. To first peer, into the void, and then you have to choose to steer, into the void. To first feel what its oppresivity has allowed us to become to each other. Because this is what we do to each other, when we are blinded by fear, surrounded by darkness, and feeling so alone, so desperately alone, that we allow ourselves to be forced to conform by contorting to fit the faulty framework. Which secondly is just a fancy rhyming pants way o'sayin, when our fear gets our better, and drives us to hide, alone, but actually all together, huddled inside, the void.
(Master you) Too much (tap head)
So we're going to choose to confront the void, and then we are going to choose to go into the void, and then we're going to pull ourselves out.
And you are going to resist.
So you have to be the strong one in all this.
But trust me. I promise, with my love, I won't let you go.
Breathe. Even if you do feel silly, please, do it for a buddy, buddy. Breathe. And..... then breathe again. This time just a lil deeper, a lil slower. Breathe comfortably once more and you may notice that whereas at times in our recent past, you may have found yourself struggling for breath, so now just notice how easy your breathing is.....see. You're looking for your old rhythm now... Remember, before the anxiety set in ... Try to Remember what it felt like, when you breathed freely.
To breathe normally.
And breathe.
Normanly!
And as you settle into your old groove, then take a few more comfortable breaths, just because, you know, you can again....
And breathe.
Now, with yer focus on yer Eupnea, yer trying to look fer, the sliver of a moment bein the bit after y'exhale has ended, but before y'inhale begins. (Do it here) That one teeny tiny point which exists for just a tiny instant, but again and again, within us, moment by moment, breath by breath, each turn of your own lifecycle: all of us connected, by this shared moment, wether we choose to believe it or no, by this thinest delicatist moment we are all connected by , right up til our penultimate breath. Just sayin.Just notice it, as you reach it, each time, in time, its time comes around. (Here)The individual lustre of a moment between moments when everything hangs in the balance....
Without rushing your comfortable breathing, when its time comes round, this is the moment you now aim for each time it comes around. (HERE)
And now Notice it's depth, even as it all too briefly fleets past, you can yet perceive great depth, within the slither. (Here)

And now next time, or maybe the next time after your breathing reaches this moment, cast your minds eye , like a fisherman casts their fly, aiming into the very heart of that fleeting moment each time it passes by. (Here) Again and again each time it's time comes, you cast, until more often than not your aim meets it's mark. (Here) Until eventually you feel confident enough with your aim, in that fleeting moment inside, so to try, to flip your view from micro to macro. So still tho a fleeting moment, you begins to discern it's brilliance, each time, from within. And so now as this moment appears, each time within your own personal timeline: rush to reach deep inside it to look for and then to find the tiny seed of peace, deep within the heart between each moment. Each and every time, between each and every breath now you look for this moment and you find it. Let its momentary cyclical pulse of sweet peace become familiar to you. It is, after all, a part of the cycle of you. And so now as you continue to comfortably breathe, Anticipate it..... This beautiful moment between breaths, between times, you are trying to elongate it.. to stretch it out, and now not this time, but maybe the next time, or maybe the next next time, anticipate that beautiful moment, then experience that beautiful moment, and then take an extra moment, elongate that moment: hold time in your mind as you hold your breath for just a slight moment lond itger, (HERE) and then without really you thinking about it, as you then get picked up by the cycle of time again, you just become uncoupled. And so now you are ready. Just simply drop out of time. It's ok. Let go. I've got you. 

(Here, or not) Booof!
There you go. Just for a minute. Just you and me buddy. Connected by just our love. And how amazing is that! And I promise I won't let go.
Ive brought you here cuz you needs to feel what it does to you buddy. Cuz wot it does, is why we then allow ourselves to do, wot we then do, to each other, and the kiddies. Why it makes us bring out the worst in each other. So we can realise how to stop bringing out the worst in each other. And to confront it we needs to understand what its oppressive hopeless energy feels like, discrete from our own personal burdens. Which is why you needs to confront it out of time. See. You need to learn it's discrete burden so then you know what it is you need to choose to ignore, when this moment ends and you go back to feeling it all. So that it can then begin to heal for us all. So we all can..... Before we all can, move on .......or at least just enough of us. I hope that makes sense. I wish I had better words for it to make better sense.
All the pain you feel in your heart right now, out of time, is just the void.
You can feel it, can't you. Good. That's just what it feels like when we are in needing of healing is all. The thing we can only do for each other, with our love.
And now we've found this space outside of time together. It's time, together, to steer into the void. A trick I learnt from an organisation I'm passionate about. A long time ago. To see, wot we needs to see.
REWRITE Do you remember that seed of imagination we set loose and slowly sent way down, until It slipped from memory, at the beginning of part 1? And if you don't, and I'm right, then it doesn't actually matter anyways. Hey ho. The dreams worth of hope we set loose to plumb our depths. Well hopefully it has now fulfilled it's purpose. Because now all you needs to do is just follow it's trail, that starts exactly where you stopped thinking bout it, in your mind, as deep as you stuck with the thought, begin your search there and once you find its end, just simply allow yerself ter zoom along it's length like data along a fibre optic cable - and then popping out the end. And if you didn't do the thing in part 1, it's ok, then just pretend 😁
Booof!
And if you did do the thing in part one. when you arrive, if you notice a bloke with a unicorn, don't worry about it.
And so we have arrived, now, you and I, but now you have to choose to steer Into your own personal deepest darkness. The place only you know exists inside of you, where your own lil bit of our void resides. Turn to face it, and then just start Pushin through in your mind. The resistance, with the fear, will pass.
Keep pushing through the fear, and when it subsides, allow yourself to chill out for a while whilst you adjust to this deeper darkness. And then so acclimatised. in your mind, just keep pushin on. And what feels so close around you, all around you, suffocatingly so, is just the pain of the void.
Keep calm and you will acclimatise to it's cyclical waves of intensity. The sickness feeling will pass, hopefully.
Try to think It's like entering lake water
Breathe comfortably still. Remember. I'm here too.
And when you feel the resistance subside and so the moment of panic passes, you have arrived, close both your actual eyes and your minds eyes, and then just use your love to probe around in the darknes, to discover where it hurts the most. And once you are confident it's truly the most hurty place, then simply hold your hands out, open your eyes and look down and you will see yourself. The scared you. The afraid you. Be strong, I've got you two. They/you reach up with grateful eyes, and desperate hands and with tears in your own, take theirs, and lift them up, reach around to support them - they are weak, but you will grow stronger. And then reunited again, shuffle round, 180 degrees like really bad salsa dancers, on your heels, in your mind and then facing away from the pain, take one purposeful step, together, back out of the void.
Not a giant step. But a confident step. Nonchalantly, and with just a touch of swagger if you can manage it😁
Cuz fuck it. You know.
See I knew I was right about the time thing.
We all know that time is the key that unlocks the future, but it can also be used to seal the past. But only once enough of us are ready to give enough of us a second chance. Which really just means a new path. A new perspective, and all that really means is are you ready to move on? To create an anchor point in time, together, from which to pivot our path, and so then to face what wos always going to becoming our ways anyways, our generations veritable ecological destiny, from the very start of time. Think about that! But now think about it, together.
And so finally, before time notices we are AWOL, and so before this moment passes, (leaving you to wonder if it ever really happened....long pause, look at em all)
There's just time for a quick sandbox reality experiment!
Imagine yerself a world, a facimily of this one, but yer made-up world is made up of good folks, who thanks to a reality flash realised, together, that the only true value to their continued existence was to be found in the community of each other. All of em, together. Or not at all.
Eitheor.
Just that.
And these good folks, not dissimilar to ourselves infact, realised that if they could help each other get their shit together, they could change their future together, and if they came up with a good enough framework, framework 2.0 as it were, that that change, could be, forever.
And because they did, so they did.
In your sandbox reality, Imagine what it feels like, being the good folks who achieved all that, in our near future, and then all you needs to do , is just take here, now, today as your starting point, and then just work out how to become them. And that's the journey just enough of us have to take, if we want things to go differently from this, for us. From now on.
I don't make the rules, and you get to choose your own path. But know, that whether you realised this moment as a choice or no, in these changing times, a choice, by us all, will be made.
And as time finally looses patience with us, so our moment out of time, as all moments, in and out of time, must, transitions.
So finally.... There is a moment in our future where all this has already happened. I know this, because I have been there and I have felt what it feels like to be apart of. Its beautiful beyond my megre words, like turds, will ever be able to express.
And every generation that comes after those heroes of humanity, blesses the very day, the very hour, minute and second that their forebares finally chose to choose. Better. for each other, and all I'm sayin is why not us. Why not here, why not now, today. The moment when humanity finally realised the truth of the words; that it doesn't have to be this way.
StevieP Mar- apr 2021 and then April onwards 2022. Re picked up apr 24 I watched kid goats frolicking, a long time ago now, with a friend, at a farm. Happy memories indeed!
And now another year has gone by, and here I am again, believing that Ive given my very best, hoping it will become enough and eagerly awaiting the chance to try to begin our Summer Of Love 2022.
Well May 24 today and that shit didn't happen! Heya ho. And on we go. Onwards and upwards. And once more with pasta.
That doesn't sound right.