How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
I'm 19y/o. I would say Im a calm person, unless when im tired or when someone angers me. Im the balance between energetic and no energy person. I dont like sticking to one opinion because it feels like im limiting myself, so i guess im open minded. I dont really care about what people think of me unless its about my attitude or if i hurt someone unintentionally. i cant watch kdramas that r js typical, it feels so shallow and cringy. I also like psycho analyzing people. I also overanalyze someone's actions towards me. When i talk about a topic, i mostly talk the generality of it, but sometimes i think about every possible details which makes it hard to commit to one, for example: let’s say someone says you choose your own reality, in a way i get what they mean but i also think abt ppl who actually cant choose their reality. Drake and kendrick dissing each other, my brother asked me whose side im on, which i honestly dont give a crap, because its not connected to me neither i dont care who they are, feels insignificant to waste my brain cells on that thing. I also dont like rude people, like i get you have a painful past but that doesnt excuse how you treat me, i deserve to be treated like a normal human being. The line between right or wrong is kinda hard for me, i think theres no right or wrong in reality, its just based on people’s values and morals. Which ofc i do have.
Is there a medical diagnosis that impact your mental/compartmental stability somehow?
not that i know of
Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
im not religious but i do believe there is some force that does things
What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
im an architecture student, so far i like it, designing a specific building for a specific person to suit their needs and comfort, how they would function inside it, my fav architect is antoni gaudi bc his works, every building's detail has a function or a meaning to it, which is not just existing but serving it's purpose
If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
for right now, i would feel refreshed bc semester just ended and i need to restore my sanity, but if im feeling energetic then i would rather spend it with my friends,
What is your relation with movement and your surroundings? For instance do you prefer a sport or outdoors event? If an outdoors event what is it? And why? If not what type of activities do you tend to engage i?
im not really good at sports, but i do like running it makes me happy i dont know why, i like doing stuff that requires my brain like puzzles, sudoku, video games, movies with complicated plot
How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
honestly depends of what mood im in, but since im an architecture student i tend to touch every material, and be curious about the function of the elements. i like listening to interesting takes on life or anything, that is different from others, but generally idk if im curious or not. im not sure if this considers as curious or not, but i like thinking about life, what is the purpose of humans, why they act selfish or why they act like a bitch generally, trying to find an answer to anything.
Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
i like leadership positions, i like being in control, i like being organized, i think i will do a perfect as a manager lol. when im traveling with my friends i always do the bookings, transport, almost everything
Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
im kinda clumsy but i have great reflexes, i dont really pay attention to my surroundings like if im traveling in a group and some stranger says something i only find out after my friend tells me about it. i like painting, it feels so calm
Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
i like painting, bc i like blending colors, it just feels so free yk. i like listening to music, i listen to almost every genre based on my mood that day, i rly wanna learn how to play on a piano
What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
i dont think about the past, present, sometimes future but lately i stopped worrying about the future instead just making plans, i mostly just think about anything that doesnt really involve time, i be thinking about life, people, or any concept, or just making my own opinions
How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
i like to help even if doesnt benefit me, but if its something absurd then fuck no, im a straightforward person you see, if i dont want to help i js straight up say sry cant help
Do you need logical consistency in your life?
define logical consistency
How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
It is important to me, im more work first, play later person. ive been thinking lately, i thought i wasnt a competitive person but during the process idc if im not the best or worst, but at the result i actually do care, i want to be better, idk why it contradicts, the process and the result
Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
mostly to gain something for myself, when i want something i plan like a scenario in my head of how they would react and what i would say
What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
is it weird that i realized i dont have any beneficial hobbies, ex: playing video games, drawing, im not consistent at anything, i start something and drop it
What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
i like organized teachers, i also like teachers who talk in an interesting way, like connecting the subject to real life or anything interesting. i like teachers who talk in broad sense and not yappers. im really bad at memorizing things, i try to understand rather than memorizing, i like my design classes because u can create something meaningful and good as long as its serving a purpose
How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
before i start doing any project first i break it up into simples things then start doing it
What's important to you and why?
i honestly dont know, as most people say happiness, its not for me, i dont think i know the meaning of true happiness, i dont really feel happy i just feel calm, my main purpose in life isnt being happy, im fine with not being happy. but i do wanna live without worrying about anything
What are your aspirations?
i want to be a good architect that will change my city to a better one, but first i need the power in order to do so. i want to be smarter and more knowledgeable and skillful
What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
i dont like selfish people, but at the same time in try to understand their angle so its kinda hard for me to js say wow shes so selfish bc there r so many perspectives spilling in my head that makes it hard to contribute to one (it happens always, but im working on it). I dont like people who dont try to understand the other person. I hate rooms without windows because it feels so uncomfy, mostly because i need to see the sky to live, if no sky then i feel trapped inside it
What do the "highs" in your life look like?
no worries, like talking to people
What do the "lows" in your life look like?
see the worst in people
How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
as i said i dont really pay attention to my surroundings, sometimes im in deep thought but would really call it daydreaming. When im meeting someone i dont see their outfits but more of what kind of person they are
How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
i do pros and cons, consequences, if its risky but worth the result then im doing it
How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
for now i feel numb, i dont rly care about anything right now prolly bc i didnt sleep for few days doing my project. but i do think its important to open up to someone or tell them what u didnt appreciate about their actions towards you, and communication is the key. but i feel uncomfortable opening about my depressive thoughts because it feels like im asking for attention, but i do say it straightforwardly about questionable actions done towards, bc some people think youre okay to mess with, so if u shut them down at low there wont be high
Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
not really, im not a people pleaser, but sometimes i dont really want to argue i dont agree i just say "i see", since that sentence isnt agreeing nor disagreeing
Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why would you?
depends on the rule, if its messing with my values then i first think about the consequence, if its mild then fuck the rules
What is the ideal life, in your opinion?
having the power to change things
Please ask me questions

All Players must be 24+, all characters 18+
Hello! I am looking for a roleplay partner or two to rp with. I play in 3rd person ONLY, paragraph style (3-5+ per post) though my starters can be longer than that! I play POC's for my mains, but NPC's come from all types of backgrounds. I reply at least 4x a week or more if I am not too busy. I enjoy open communication and OOC (though it is not a requirement). Love to world build. I only do F/M pairings with me playing the F role. And play via Discord.
For my partners I prefer semi-lit partners who can write 3-5+ paragraphs per post (3rd person pov), who also enjoys playing nps and contributing to the plot. I don't really care what gender you are in rl as long as you play the M role. I would like someone who can reply 3x a week at least and is open with communication. Don't rush me as I will never rush you.
The Prince & The Pirate Queen
Yc is the crown prince of a holy kingdom who was content with his life as he was next in line to take the throne. Everything was going as it should, he was engaged to a beautiful woman, he had the support of his father and his people. He thought all was well, but it seems his half brother has other plans. His brother hired assassins to dispose of him. Luckily for him the assassin didn't do a good job and missed his vitals before tossing him into the sea to die.
All hope is lost, until he ends up getting pulled up on a ship. On the ship of the cutthroat pirate; Madam Black. Known for her pitch dark hair and eyes. A Ruthless pirate of the sea and skies.
She's none too happy about having someone from the royal family on her ship and tells her crew to toss him back. But desperate the prince tells her if she lets him stay on the ship until he can fully recover he will show her the way to Eosphia. The island of treasures that she had been looking for all this time.
They draw up a contract and agree. But both of them may be hiding a much bigger secret.
Mid to high fantasy, romance, can be as dark or light as we like. More discussions in pms.
Arranged marriage:
The southern territory is known for having monsters on its borders, its harsh winters and its black diamonds. The jewels are rare and controlled by the Duke of the territory, much to the royal family's dismay (and everyone else in the capital). They can't stand the thought of the “barbarians” having something over them. So they devise a plan to arrange a marriage between the “hidden” princess and the southern Duke.
The Duke is unable to refuse. So the two are we'd and he brings the princess to his territory. All this time she did not utter a word, but once they arrive, she smiles at the duke and ask for a contract Claiming to know how to take care of 3 of his problems (One being able to retrieve the ashes of his sister from the noble who killed her) and in return she wants him to protect her for 5 years and then she will give him a divorce since she knows he doesn't want to be married to her.
Will it all be worth it? Or is there something more sinister at play?
Mid fantasy (magic stones and weapons, few people with actual magic). Can flesh it out more in dms.
If interested dm.
I can provide writing samples if needed.

All Players must be 24+, all characters 18+
Hello! I am looking for a roleplay partner or two to rp with. I play in 3rd person ONLY, paragraph style (3-5+ per post) though my starters can be longer than that! I play POC's for my mains, but NPC's come from all types of backgrounds. I reply at least 4x a week or more if I am not too busy. I enjoy open communication and OOC (though it is not a requirement). Love to world build. I only do F/M pairings with me playing the F role. And play via Discord.
For my partners I prefer semi-lit partners who can write 3-5+ paragraphs per post (3rd person pov), who also enjoys playing nps and contributing to the plot. I don't really care what gender you are in rl as long as you play the M role. I would like someone who can reply 3x a week at least and is open with communication. Don't rush me as I will never rush you.
The Prince & The Pirate Queen
Yc is the crown prince of a holy kingdom who was content with his life as he was next in line to take the throne. Everything was going as it should, he was engaged to a beautiful woman, he had the support of his father and his people. He thought all was well, but it seems his half brother has other plans. His brother hired assassins to dispose of him. Luckily for him the assassin didn't do a good job and missed his vitals before tossing him into the sea to die.
All hope is lost, until he ends up getting pulled up on a ship. On the ship of the cutthroat pirate; Madam Black. Known for her pitch dark hair and eyes. A Ruthless pirate of the sea and skies.
She's none too happy about having someone from the royal family on her ship and tells her crew to toss him back. But desperate the prince tells her if she lets him stay on the ship until he can fully recover he will show her the way to Eosphia. The island of treasures that she had been looking for all this time.
They draw up a contract and agree. But both of them may be hiding a much bigger secret.
Mid to high fantasy, romance, can be as dark or light as we like. More discussions in pms.
Arranged marriage:
The southern territory is known for having monsters on its borders, its harsh winters and its black diamonds. The jewels are rare and controlled by the Duke of the territory, much to the royal family's dismay (and everyone else in the capital). They can't stand the thought of the “barbarians” having something over them. So they devise a plan to arrange a marriage between the “hidden” princess and the southern Duke.
The Duke is unable to refuse. So the two are we'd and he brings the princess to his territory. All this time she did not utter a word, but once they arrive, she smiles at the duke and ask for a contract Claiming to know how to take care of 3 of his problems (One being able to retrieve the ashes of his sister from the noble who killed her) and in return she wants him to protect her for 5 years and then she will give him a divorce since she knows he doesn't want to be married to her.
Will it all be worth it? Or is there something more sinister at play?
Mid fantasy (magic stones and weapons, few people with actual magic). Can flesh it out more in dms.
If interested dm.
I can provide writing samples if needed.

Want to understand the character Armaan towards the women in his life...He is not bad or villian or toxic...Just a complex character..
Vidya: He is son of Madhav's first wife whom Poddars didn't accepted. After his mother demise when he was a kid entered Poddar house and Vidya accepted his as her son. Dadi never failed to remind this to him and making him guilty about how his entry ruptured Vidya Madhav relationship. With guilty he is trying not to cause any problem to her because of him...What need to understand is Vidya and Madhav's relationship had gap when he hid his first marriage and married Vidya...He didn't do any mistake. Also, he is the rightful son of Poddars
Dadi: He always yearns for her acceptance. He want Dadi to feel him as her own heir. But she will never fail to differentiate between her choice and out of hers...Vidya is her choice and Madhav's first wife is not...So Rohit is outcome of choice while Armaan is not..She wanted Armaan on her tips. Now she is scared that he is Slipping like Madhav if he realize his feelings for Abhir which only she can see it...She want the control on him...what she donno is he will give his life for her, abhira tho kya
Ruhi : He liked her first time when he saw her May be he felt the instant connection with her. the intial sweet time didn't even lasted for few days..Ruhi just accepted another alliance just because he didn't show up on a date and didn't attend her call. When he came to engagement , he was shattered seeing Ruhi as his brother's fiance. What will anyone will do in this situation ..he is someone who don't want even unintentionally to hurt his family...Do you think he will go and say to family that I love the girl you chose for my brother? Ruhi still had the choice to reject but she married Rohit so that she can stay close to Armaan. Unfortunately Rohit left after marriage , now Ruhi became his new responsibility. He thinks he ruined Ruhi's life just like Vidya's...He don't want to hurt her anyway..If only Ruhi tried to understand him for even 1% then she will know what Armaan wants actually
Abhira : Here come the lady who stirred his well planned robotic life like a tornado. She made him do all the things which he won't do even in dream..He stood for her infront of his family. He even willing to leave the house for her. He will running when something happens to her.He is ready to take bullet for her. He opposes all her fights at start but will stand with her like wall whether it is during her joining college plan or Charu internship or Krish dream fight. But divorce request from his Dadi shattered him...He can't say no to his dadi/family...He subconsciously wanted Abhira to fight on his behalf for their them for their relationship. But Abhira's silence made him feel that she also didn't accepted him fully like his family members. When she lied in court it his final hope . He did all the things he can for her to react but Abhira gave up. And he blames Abhira for it...He is not trying to see where he went wrong...He thinks Abhira want to leave him...whether he loves or not, we are not sure yet but if he loves her then he should stop leading on Ruhi and tell Abhira what he exactly feel
I am not his fan at all..Just wanted to give a chance to his character....He is not outright black character like other MLs of startplus

Hey Dad. Somehow I have been married for over 30 years and have had a successful career of almost 40 years, but now fine myself without any close friends. My wife always forms close friendships with other females quickly and often, but I don't feel like I have formed another close male friendship since high school or college really, other than a few work buddies.
Earlier in our marriage, my son and many of his buddies and their dads were my closest male friends. I felt like I had lots of friends then, but when our kids became adults and started familes and careers of their own, those male connections seemed to evaporate. I have two sons-in-law now and struggle to find much common ground or interests with either, and our conversations seem shallow and brief. My brothers are now my closest male friends, but they both have their own busy lives, families and seem to have lots of other interests and male friends. So I usually default to putting most of my energy after-work and on weekends into activities with my wife and grandparenting.
My wife drags me to neighborhood social events where I generally feel more confident hovering close to her and her lady friends rather than venturing out into the all male group conversations or trying to strike up a conversation with another lonely-looking husband. I do force myself to engage in conversation with the guys, but I often feel myself being unable to relate and mentally checking out of the conversation and looking for a polite exit path.
I feel like I made a wrong turn on the road of life somewhere and ended up on an isolated path with no idea how to reconnect with other men in a genuine way. Hopefully I am not alone, although I feel alone.

A bit before the new year, I (m29) was engaged (f28). I've had a past of trust and abandonment issues. Cheating, leaving without explanation, etc. Shortly after getting engaged, she somewhat forced a move on us because she never left her home state. So we moved to mine. I had an alcohol problem I was still dealing with and expressed we she wait longer but she forced our hand. To be fair, she got us jobs, but our place was a scam after I did some sleuthing. We did get a place an hour away from our jobs. After a few fights, she cheated on me. She moved back to her state. My stuff got thrown away and I now live in my mom's basement with my teenage brother while mom's dementia riddled boyfriend belittles us to the point of almost throwing hands. Been so stressed I have kidney stones...

Hi all!
I don't intend for this post to be too much of a woe is me, my life decisions coming back to haunt me kind of post. I'm mostly looking for advice regarding next steps, and if there are things i'm missing.
I'm from the UK (27M) and i've just wrapped up my Degree. I've previously been in this position after briefly studying Accountancy in College in 2013 and having a mental breakdown which pushed me into leaving and looking for work since. Besides one admin related job I received three years after leaving college that I left due to apathy, I pursued work in Esports until 2019 where I got my A-Levels in College for Game Design and my degree from '21-24 in Esports.
At the time of writing, I have absolutely zero idea on what I want to do with my career at this point and have received very little practical advice on the subject. Most of the jobs I see online in my region of the UK are mostly revolved around Sales or Marketing, which as an introvert with very few personal acquaintances I know i'm terrible at. (I've been told that i'm fairly kind and nice to be around in person, but I am terrible in front of a crowd or pitching ideas) Ideally i'd like to explore Events Management (Either Digital or Physical) but there appears to be very little availability in that market for uni graduates, and i'm finding my options to be more and more limited by the day.
My parents are both on 3+ hour drives (in my mother's case, 8+) away from me, so I also have constant anxiety over moving back in and trying to apply digitally from there. When I was in the aforementioned job hunting time from '13-'19 I was stuck in a remote part of the country, taking care of my brother with downs syndrome and my mental health nosedived. I genuinely don't know if I can handle being put under a similar situation now in 2024.
The advice I have been given mostly consists of: 'Just apply for everything until you make it'. Which frankly doesn't help me when i'm put on the spot and asked: "Why do you want this job" and having to desperately avoid answering with: "So I don't fall into depression and end up homeless." Like, today for example I was brought in for a Group Interview at the local theatre for a Marketing Role and I was so clearly out of my depth that I couldn't present ideas better than the two guys at my table who were clearly already invested into marketing and/or knew more about the location than me.
Do I think I could've done more to prepare? Absolutely. I could've looked into actual plays ahead of time rather than bouncing off of people, or tried to present ideas more coherently, but I knew the role wasn't for me and the interviewees most likely could tell. I'm having a very difficult time envisioning this not being a recurring problem when every interview will be based on how I can present myself, rather than skills based work. Since I believe I definitely have the skill capacity to be able to engage in the average role a uni grad would be expected to perform, but I can't show it in those kinds of settings.
Tl;dr; Older Uni Graduate has zero ideas what he wants to work as, and is struggling on how to overcome Social Anxiety & Autism (and likely undiagnosed depression) in order to get a job after University when nothing in his field of study is on offer.

Hey everyone, I've just returned home from the player sponsor trivia night as representative for our adopted child, Josh Weddle. Apologies in advance as I had no idea what to expect, the comms seemed to indicate there was limited contact but the players literally sat and ate with us the whole time. Otherwise I would've banked up some questions from you all, although I did my best to ask about all sorts of things.
As for how the night went down, I literally had no idea what to expect. Walking into Glenferrie Hotel, we took our name tags and walked to our table only to walk in on virtually the whole team hanging around. The staff had us leave that area for a little bit whilst they got prepared, and whilst enjoying a nice frothie, in walks Sic, Hardwick and Watson. We gave each other the nod as they entered.
When we were allowed to go to our table, we took our seats, when a voice from behind asked us: "how are you guys going tonight?" by none other than Luke Breust. We had a good chat for 15 minutes, I congratulated him on his newborn and he told me about how he was finding fatherhood (all going great). Another person from the table started speaking to Breusty, but that's when our lord and saviour and adopted child Josh Weddle arrived. First things first, Josh Weddle is an absolute legend and we couldn't have had a more perfect player to sponsor. He was super genuine and actively engaged in conversation with the table the whole time.
I let him know how much we at /hawktalk love him and are impressed by him. I also told him he's never allowed to leave the hawks and that I'll glue him to Dingley if I have to. Weddle gave off some great vibes about how much he enjoys being at Hawthorn, so I don't think we have anything to worry about there. I also learned an interesting fact that he was originally a North supporter growing up, which shocked me as I had read he was always Hawks. He said he saw the Hawks link reported on, but wasn't sure where that came from haha.
We spoke about our heartbreaking loss, and I framed a question around whether we planned to go defensive like we did, or whether the game just went that way for us. He couldn't say much, but indicated that the team felt comfortable with the lead and just happened to fall into a defensive mindset. He also didn't appreciate the tag he received for 3 quarters haha. He also was really keen on the fact we were only a couple of wins away from the top 8. I told him I thought we played fantastic regardless of the result, and that at least this happened in a bit of a nothing H&A game rather than say a 3 point win in a prelim leading to a grand final cough cough 2014 ;) we still have that over them hahahah
We also spoke about his interests, hobbies, etc.
I was able to have another chat with Breusty, I spoke with him about his future post-AFL life and how clubs work with players to prepare them for post-AFL life.
Half way in, none other than our senior coach Sammy Mitchell made an appearance and came by every table to have a quick chat. Unfortunately I only was able to have a quick handshake and told him I love what he's done for the team. Was hoping to catch him again before he left, but sadly missed him.
Over the night I got to have quick chats with Nick Watson (told him I loved his energy on field), CJ (told him I missed him and glad he's back in the side, also to get his brother traded to us lol), Sam Frost (spoke a bit about the upcoming Brissie game and how great he's been, said he can probably leave Daniher on his own since Joe will probs kick it on the full anyway which he had a laugh about), Ethan Phillips (told him he had an awesome debut), James Blanck (told him he's going to have to fight Phillips now haha), DGB (said he sounds like he has a wrestler name, which he said he gets the same comments from the team lol), Sic (wouldn't confirm about his shoulder :( was hoping to get the inside scoop there haha reckon he got asked by everyone in the bar haha also told him to smash Charlie Cameron for us, he had a good laugh and said that'll likely be Hardwick's job haha), Cam McKenzie (told him he's been excellent), Bailey McKenzie (unfortunately only had a quick hello and hand shake), Impey (told him he's been great and I hope we get the win for him as captain), Gunner (god love him, said glad he's back at the hawks).
Finally, got to have a photo with Weddle and a whole bunch of signatures on a #23 guernsey.
All in all I had an absolute ripper night, had great interactions with majority of the team. Breust and Weddle were amazing, I wish I could've had more time with them since they were so down to earth and happy to chat. I highly recommend for anyone who thought about going, to get involved next time.
Anyone with any questions, I talked a lot that I can't fully capture in this post without writing a novel. So feel free to ask and I'll answer what I can :)

TLDR; 24F Constant arguments with mother, paying for house utilities, younger brother provisions, a few personal finances, mother wants to charge 800$ rent in what feels like retaliation, I want to move out but don't want to be in a bad financial spot.
I 24F college graduate, work a contracting position starting to make decent money. I have been working since i graduated for two years. I make 65K a year. i have been working here for a little under 6 months, before I was making 50k (Yay for the jump in salary). I max out my 401k, and I pay 185 a month for health insurance.
My issue here is my mother. The older I get, the less respect she seems to have for me as an adult simply on the basis of she is my mother so she can say and do anything she wants because she feels justified as she "only wants the best for me"
We recently got into an argument after I volunteered to her that i occasionally partake in marijuana. She got very agressive, very rude and then destructive of my property. I left the house for a week and then came back. In retaliation, she decided I now need to pay 800$ in rent. Whenever we get into a spat, suddenly I need to pay more. As my expenses are right now, i pay the electric bill which ranges from 330-365$, the Internet 93$, car insurance 240 (Theres three people on the car insurance for a total monthly bill of 424. I'm paying about half of it) and phone 100. I send the car insurance and phone to zelle through my mother. The 100 for phone is for my younger brother and my phone bill. Just the device and the insurance because my tmobile line is free. I also handle my younger brothers personal finances while he's in school. Money for groceries, clothes, books, etc.. things that he needs apart from his tuition and housing. Roughly let's say its about 300$ a month, . I do my share of the house work and grocery shopping for the home/ if my mother needs things from the store. When she needs something, she'll ask me if i need the money for it and then she will give me her coin purse and then a list of items to buy that clearly cost more than what I was given. I don't complain about it. I usually just set it down and use my own money to buy it without saying I need to be paid back and all as much as she claims she will pay me back etc..
We recently went on a small vacation and i paid for me and my younger brother, around 8k. Unfortunately a lot was going on around this time and my savings took a hit because of this. I've been rebuilding.
Whenever they do house renovations, my mother wants me to help pay for it. I live in the basement and recently paid 1.5k to help them redo the floors because the carpet bothered my mom so much. I kept saying we could get it cleaned, but she was against it and I gave in and paid for it. She now wants to put up a wall in my room, to separate my room from the laundry room so that (her reason is: she saw it in our neighbors home and thought it was good to allow some privacy in the basement. This was her idea, I didn't ask for it. I said from the very beginning that i don't have the money to pay for that. It's a pain having my room so open but I have never complained to her about it. She brought it up and said I have to pay the materials which I disagree to and it caused a slight argument.
She claims I don't pay rent or contribute to the house hold so it's only fair that I pay 800$ in addition. That paying for wifi should be counted as a "personal" expense because I need it to work my remote job, even though I completely disagree. The mortgage is about 2k. (Are you wondering if my dad helps pay anything? Because apparently what he does is he helps pay for the home is the mortgage). In talking with my father he has told me that he prefers i move out, that My mother and I can't handle disagreements and until i move out, theres no such thing as being treated like an adult because my mother simply wont see it that way.
I agree with him. As soon as my mother doesn't get what she wants out of me, or I do something or dress someway she doesn't agree, she becomes this super rude, and super aggressive person to me. The person i date, the clothes i wear, the things I choose to spend my money on. When i don't engage she will follow me around to yell at me and I will get annoyed and snap back by being petty or disrespectful in how I speak. Now it feels like teen years again. She is the only one I have this issue with.
It's one thing to say you need help with house finances so we should be able to sit down and discuss so that I have the ability to properly save and help out as much as i can where I can, but continuously using it as a power move..I feel slighted here.\
I have been wanting to move out for a while, this past year I was set back some, but the goal has always been to build enough to have a good emergency fund so I can move out. I told her to give me two months first and then she brought up how my dad said I wanted to move out. I explained that me wanting to move out has nothing to do with our argument as I had always planned to move out and I've expressed since I graduated school that I will not be staying home 'till I get married. This however has made me want to speed up the process.
I know realistically, two months isn't enough time for me to get to where I want to be, but while I'm working towards it, how do I move forward on this with her? Am I being unreasonable? I understand that in me saying give me 2 months, it was from a place of annoyance instead of straight up just saying no to 800, especially because i don't want to put myself in a bad financial spot even though part of me wants to say fuck it and figure it out if it means having my own sense of peace in my own place.

I (24F) am having issues with my friend group over the man (31M) that I picked. I’ll have to provide the long background story for context.
My friend group consists of several individuals. The specific few I will talk about I will refer to as “J” “M” and “A.” They are all (24F). J and M are a couple. These girls seem to have the strongest opinion about the ordeal. I met my friends in middle/high school. We didn’t become close until our college years. I love these people and we’ve gone on many trips and shared many experiences together.
In early 2023, I was asked out by a guy who frequented my place of work. He had apparently noticed me for some time. It is quite rare for me to “date,” but something about him gave me the sense I could trust him. He gave off good vibes overall. We went on a date a few days later and discovered we have everything in common. EVERYTHING. From our morals, values, hobbies, childhood upbringing, family dilemmas, favorite foods, love for traveling, etc. we are the same person in two separate bodies. The date was such a success and I knew then in my gut that he was going to be someone special.
Unfortunately, our beginning took a turn. We initiated dates back and forth that fell through due to valid reasons dealing with weather, conflicting schedules, etc. During this break between dates, he took the time to think if he was ready to start a new relationship. Although he liked me a lot, he was a little unsure unbeknownst to me. He’d been in several relationships before and they ended with him getting hurt whether they ended on good or bad terms. He was getting cold feet and didn’t know how to communicate that to me. He didn’t want to officially end it and he also didn’t want to lead me on so he said nothing for awhile. Although it wasn’t necessarily thought out, he was buying himself time until he knew how he felt (I learned all this later on). Then came about a month with no contact. During this time, he was dealing with family drama and I was becoming anemic. I eventually did need a blood transfusion. I mention this because that month apart went by fast and we didn’t have much time to linger over the thought of each other. I did notice he hadn’t reached out though. I’m certain now that he wouldn’t have ignored my messages had I sent any, but I was honestly waiting for him to reach out first. I was a little hurt to think that he had changed his mind and didn’t have the guts to tell me.
Sometime in that next month, when I returned to work after my hospital stay, I saw him at my job. I thought he saw me. He left and said nothing. I was actually devastated. He had been so kind and I didn’t know why he had a change of heart. At least he should’ve told me about it anyway. I decided that I was going to text him that night. I mentioned I had seen him at work, thanked him for the initial first date, apologized for not reaching out on my end, and I sort of wished him farewell under the assumption he wasn’t interested. It was very professional and I let him know that there were no hard feelings had he changed his mind. I was expecting some lame, typical excuse response if I even got one. He sent back this long text message apologizing, explaining himself, and asking me questions. He explained his fears and asked if we could start a “friendship” of sorts to keep a slow pace. There was chemistry of course, but he was afraid of me and now I was afraid of him. There was enough there to where we wanted to spend time together, but I needed to be sure I could trust him with my feelings and he also needed to be sure he could trust me with his heart. To this, I agreed to see him again.
We spent time going on casual dates and talking a lot. He became my friend. We talked a lot about what happened with the break over the following months. I told him how hurt I was and how communication is important to me. He understands the impact of going no contact abruptly. It has been entirely resolved and I also take responsibility in my part of not reaching out to him either. Ever since the break, he became consistent. We’ve talked every single day since. He was patient with me and I was patient with him. We earned each other’s trust and are now madly in love. It happened slowly and quietly. I have never met such a soft, kind, understanding, sensitive man. I am more myself with him than I ever have been before. If soulmates are real, then he is mine.
Now to the tea. Of course, my friends knew (most) all of this. I told them about the big events as they were happening. They were excited for me on my first date, they sympathized with me when he no longer reached out, etc. They were surely surprised when I decided to spend time with him again. I asked them to trust me. I didn’t think he was a bad guy. What happened was a mistake. As my man and I spent more time, my friend J would reach out asking me questions about him. I told only her about my concerns in the beginning. Back then, I was guarded and nervous to proceed, but it was something I knew I had to do. I had to find out for sure what kind of person he was.
Now, J, she’s a fireball. I love that girl, but I’ll admit she’s one to hold a grudge, keep score, and quietly judge. She’d never admit it. I made a mistake in choosing her as my confidant in those early days. I was looking for advice when speaking to her because I do value her opinion. She then went and told the other friends in my group, M and A included, about my man—what a bad person he seems to be, using her words, which frankly, are very different from mine. What makes me mad is she got to tell them about him, not me. Not even any of the positives either. This was all before they had even met him and they already didn’t like him. They had no problem scolding me for being with him.
Months down the road, I arranged a meeting for everyone. My friends thought a bar would be a great place. Still not sure about that. It was awkward. Nobody talked more than a few words. My man was shy and my friends didn’t really do anything to make him feel welcome. I was the only one babbling all night it seems like. You’d think that as time goes on, it’d be different. More meetings will help everyone be comfortable. Nope. Every time after was awkward. They haven’t spoken more than a few words to him at a time. It’s very “surface level” talk even now—a year later.
My last birthday had come around and J, M, and A took me out for drinks. It turned into a lecture session about how I seriously need to break up with him. They scolded me on “allowing a man to waste my time.” They criticized his career choice, our age difference, his “character,” etc. Mind you, this is based off of this one mistake and a few other things that I mentioned to J in private that were no longer an issue. I cried myself to sleep that night thinking I was going to have to break up with him to please them.
Of course, I couldn’t. They still invite him to events and friend functions out of politeness, but it’s always the same. They don’t acknowledge him. It makes me especially sad when my man makes comments like, “I’ve never seen so many shy people in one room” (He thinks my friends are just shy when they’re really just ignoring him). He’s printed out their pictures for our scrapbook and labeled them as “new friends.” I haven’t told him the truth and I probably never will.
A few months ago, J, M, me, and my man had plans to go to this local indie concert. Tickets are free. The concert was on a Friday. The next day, Saturday, was scheduled for my man’s nephew’s 2nd Birthday Party. His brother’s family would be traveling from out of town to celebrate their son. Well, things didn’t go according to plan. The brother decided to come a day early, the day of the concert. I should have cancelled the concert date then when I learned this news, but I told J and M we were still coming because my man still wanted to go. We figured we’d be able to sneak away since the brother had come by himself and wanted to come over and take a nap since he works odd hours. Well, my man’s dad dropped by and the brother didn’t take his nap as he’d planned. Now, having company over with expectations, I made the difficult decision to cancel with my friends last minute. I realize it is rude, but something came up. I didn’t see how we could go anymore.
My friends let me have it. J and M were so angry. They told me how rude we were and how disrespectful it was to their time to opt out of the concert which was free and in town by the way. There was also the two of them and they could have easily gone on a date. I think it would’ve been equally rude to leave our company or rush them out the door. I picked my battle. I should have gave them more notice, but I didn’t know we weren’t going until the last minute. It couldn’t have happened any other way. We fought over text for awhile. She accused me of being so different now, saying and doing things out of the ordinary for me. The truth is, I’m just growing up. J ended the conversation saying, “Well, we’re just going to stay mad.” She claimed to understand my circumstance, but she didn’t. We didn’t talk for weeks after.
I eventually got invited to a breakfast date to which I declined. I have been avoiding all of them for awhile. I keep getting “I miss yous” from J. She keeps asking when we’re gonna hang out next. It’s also true that J and M are now moving 4 hours away at the end of the month. My problem may solve itself. That does sound awful though. I feel like an asshole. I have not been a good or present friend lately. I’m so busy, tired, and I have no room for petty drama. I’m not giving up my friends yet, but I will gladly choose this boy over them. He’s given me more peace in one year than they have in five years.
My boy and I are now engaged. I told my friends the news. They said some nice things I guess. J texted to let me know “If I’m really happy, she’ll support me.” This would be nicer if it was coming from a concerned friend. To me, this whole situation feels controlling. It’s more than concern. There’s venom behind it. They don’t care about the wedding either. They don’t ask me fun questions or get excited when it comes up. When I eventually explained how he proposed, they seemed disinterested. I could tell they were judging the experience. When I finally showed J the engagement ring in person all she said was, “Take it off” in a snippy tone so she could try it on.
I’m so disappointed in my friends. I always wanted a big friend group and especially to share this big milestone with. I haven’t even gotten excited about wedding planning because I’m dreading going over the bridesmaids list. Anyway, if you’ve made it this far, thanks for listening. I definitely need to get this off my chest and outta my life. I can’t believe I’m losing my friends over a boy.

https://reddit.com/link/1cx458m/video/tyvfowea5r1d1/player
I have recently made a AI based youtube shorts channel for kids. It's doing great so far. Tbh this is the first time I got some youtube success. Kids' channels are growing the fastest on YouTube. Channels like Cocomelon get more views than Mr. Beast. This is the first video I made for this channel. Everything from script to audio and video is done with AI. Here are the steps I followed
First go to ChatGPT. Now that 4o is free for everyone we have better outputs. We use ChatGPT to generate rhymes or songs. 4o is great at it. The prompt:
Can you create 10 children's rhymes of 4 paragraphs each that are educational and entertaining? Please include a variety of topics such as animals, space, fairy tales, everyday heroes like firefighters and doctors, seasons, and important life skills like sharing and kindness. Each rhyme should be catchy, easy to understand for young children, and incorporate fun facts or moral lessons where applicable. Feel free to introduce imaginative characters and vibrant settings to make the rhymes more engaging.
You have 10 poems now. Go to Suno .com and create an account, you can use google. Now from the create page, select “Custom Mode”. Copy paste one the the lyrics/rhymes. For style of music I used, “children rhymes song”. Give a title and click on “Create”. The results are surprisingly good! Download the audio.
On to the last step. Go to adobe express. From dashboard go to animate from audio or just search on google, “adobe animate from audio”. Select a character and background. Upload the sound file. Wait till the video is generated. You have your rhymes video ready. This takes like 5-10 minutes only for the whole process.
I hope you guys found this post helpful. I run an AI tools directory called seekme.ai. I’ve listed over 13k AI tools. This post is an edited version of my recent newsletter post. Consider subscribing to my newsletter to get more of these tutorials and use cases of AIs. Subscribe here

on my mind lately but i do want to share it.
about 8 years ago, i had a lot of problems and was in a bad abusive relationship and basically he threatened me that if i didn’t let him sneak in at night that he would do something to me so i let him. this was all because he got into a fight with my brother and my mom didn’t want him over anymore. but anyways. he came one night and he got caught in my room. my mom freaked. i was already dealing with mental health problems and this made it 100000x worse. she took everything from me. i would just sit in my room and cry. eventually my doctor found out i self harmed because of taking my blood pressure and they recommended i go to a psychiatric facility. at this time my mom was being extremely horrible to me.
when i was in, i met this girl there. a quiet small girl. i decided to let her sit at my table during the day and we quickly became friends. she didn’t have a phone or socials but i gave her my info just in case. about 5 months later, i got a facebook message from her. comes out she got a phone after she begged her family for one so she can talk to me. from then on, we talked pretty much every day and shared everything with each other. she lived kind of far so i wasn’t able to see her in person until a few years later when her family got a car. she started dating this kid we also met at the hospital… i supported their relationship 100%. she was my best friend. i even taught her how to drive!
when we did see each other semi-regularly in person, i brought her with me to hang out with me my then bf and his best friend. his friend met a girl at my church and they started dating. so i brought my friend with me to hang with all of us and her and that other girl became friends. it bothered me because that other girl i knew my whole life. we never got along. but i was being nice since she was dating my bfs friend. the girls exchanged snaps i guess and they talked a lot without me knowing…
one day friend tells me she is pregnant. she misses a birth control shot and her boyfriend finished in her. she said she didn’t want him to and she doesn’t know what to do. and sure enough she is indeed pregnant. her family didn’t have much. they were about to be evicted… no one worked… it was a tough situation. she considered abortion and i told her, i will support you no matter what you decide. either way i am here.
i went to the mall one day with my bf and his friend and that other girl. we got to talking and she started saying how my friend can’t get an abortion because that’s wrong and it’s murder and idk what else. i didn’t like that she was saying that. i told her it was my friends choice no matter what.
my friend was supposed to go for an abortion. says she went. then she tells me they said she was a day too late and they couldn’t do it. i said it’s okay, i will be here to help! i spent the rest of her pregnancy finding the baby clothes, buying them groceries so she doesn’t go hungry, and so much more. i stepped up as much as i could.
my friends bf got into an accident and i dropped everything and drove to her to pick her up and take her to the hospital to see him after o took her to buy stuff for his hospital stay. mind you, i had just gotten my license yet i was driving downtown just to make sure she got to see him since no one else was able to take her. i stayed with her a while and took her home. all that.
i even went to see her and the baby when she was born and took her whatever she wanted to eat and even took photos of the baby for her. i loved that baby and her so much. she wanted me to be her godmother!
fast forward to covid, i was sad because i couldn’t visit her anymore. i wanted to keep her and the baby safe! we still talked daily like nothing. then i found out she talked to that girl from my church (the girl that dated my bfs friend) … and i told her hay she isn’t a great person. no one at church likes her and i explained to her all the reasons why. and that she also was talking crap about her wanting an abortion and the names she was calling her like murderer and whatnot. she proceeded to get upset at me and told me not to tell her who to be friends with…. so she blocked me.
one day out of the blue a few days later she asks me why this girl (who introduced me and my then bf) was telling her how i told her her business about her being pregnant and me buying her stuff and her bfs accident …. and im like ? what? and it comes out that my friend and my bfs friends ex were so pressed that they went and messaged someone who they knew i wasn’t talking to. we talked like one time ages ago and i was talking about my friend a bit with no details. but they go and text her and she spills how i told them all this and so my friend gets mad and says she doesn’t like me doing shit for her because i’m just gonna throw it in her face later. i was confused. but i couldn’t force her to talk to me. so i gave up trying to explain and reason and she blocked me on everything.
comes out the 3 girls met up just to talk shit. the third girl i mentioned who they messaged to get info from ended up not talking to them anymore and she told me how they’d talk about me and pull up my social medias to make fun of me and my now partner.
I also found out she lied to me about the abortion… she wasn’t late to get it. she didn’t even go because the girl manipulated her into not getting it because she convinced her that she would be a murderer. literally convinced her to keep a child she couldn’t support and did nothing to help yet i spent time and money making sure her fridge was stocked and the baby had clothes.
what’s fucked up is the told the girls that the groceries i got her she didn’t like or didn’t eat yet i literally still have the text message of the stuff she wanted, brands and all… and i literally got exactly what she wanted. that really helped me realize that i shoukdnt do shit for anyone because no one will ever appreciate it.
it’s also funny that her boyfriend or whatever messaged me about 2 months after this happened trying to hook up. he said he was sorry she did that to me. that he told her not to do it. and then said he wants to meet up to hookup and that he always thought i was hotter and that he only stayed with her because she needed someone LOL. so messed up. but anyways…
this whole situation caused me to spiral and almost attempt suicide. i ended my relationship as well but that wasn’t as painful as losing my best friend …. i’ve never felt a pain like that before. it hurt so much. and it still does hurt to think about. i ended up in the psych ward 3 months after my best friend blocked me. i’ve been different ever since.
the third girl i mentioned is now cool with me and we are on good terms. she apologized for engaging with them and talking to them. she assured me that what they did was wrong and i never did anything wrong in my friend ship with my best friend.
did i do something wrong? it’s been 4 years now and i still wonder what i could’ve done different.
i live in a different state and im in a great relationship now and life is great but i still miss having a close friend like that. no friendship will ever compare to the one i had with her ….
please tell me if you think i did something wrong i really want to know.
it’s eating away at me again …
***this all happened 4 years ago but she did reach out to me about 2 years ago from her dads facebook letting me know that he passed away since he really liked me a lot and i did talk to him every so often and when i would visit and take them food. it was kind of her to do that but the extent of the conversation was just that he loved me and that she wanted to let me know because he would want that. that broke me even further that she knew her family liked me yet chose to leave me anyway.

Victaria

^{En route to Maidenpool, Second Month of 276 AC}
While Victaria was not a woman quite capable of admitting openly her misgivings--most especially those she was at least in part responsible for--her heart was laden with regret as the carriage had crest through the portcullis of Stone Hedge. Longing not for the belongings she would leave behind, but the arguments that had been cast in bronze; frozen in a time when they had barely begun, malleable and destined to be brought to shine again--if Jonos' threats to refusing entry upon her return were as full of hot air as Victaria presumed them to be. Lest he wish the stalls of his stable to remain vacant, she had seethed, resolving there and then that she would not relent to her husband's declaration of denied entry until he formally recanted it. The notion that the Lord Bracken might beg forgiveness from her an outlandish fantasy yet one that had stoked at the cinders whenever her anger was to be waylaid.
It had been no question in her mind, the bundling of her babes to be swept up in her retreat. While Jons had made an admirable show in defense of his daughter's honour in Castamere when Victaria's own courage had been frail, on cusp of fracture, such a display did not equate to an able over seer. She did not think so poorly of her husband that he would willfully mistreat Bethany. There were able servants aplenty to ensure that the girl need never go without the necessities yet the distance in his displeasure at having sired a daughter had been insipid in their every interaction. Where there could be some leeway to pawn off the little ones to wet nurses when them were incapable of conversation, at her age, Bethany was not only in need of attention but desperate for it. The task was ill suited to her husband on back of his aloofness, and truthfully Victaria had hardly entertained the thought of leaving Bethany behind when her venture to Maidenpool had been one presumed to be sanctioned. Now that it had been made such a point of contention it had been not to her own quarters she had gone in her exile but to those belonging to Bethany. With the aid of a servant she had selected a swath of garments to last them on the road while packing the rest of the space personally with dolls and trinkets that were to her daughter's delight.
The process of preparing for departure was repeated in the quarters belonging to baby Benedict. Barely weaned from the breast, there was no sense in abandoning the boy when his elder sister was already accounted for. All the more in that his possessions were few. The great bulk of them inherited from Rolfy when he had been so small and familiar in his mother's hand. She balanced the boy at her hip as she made her egress to the bailey to ensure the possessions of her children were accounted for as they were loaded within the carriage, having eschewed a change of clothes for the haste it would lend in her departure when her want was to be well away from the suffocating atmosphere of Stone Hedge by sundown. Victaria entrusting that the servants had arranged the essentials of her own wardrobe on her behalf did not waste any seconds more in rifling through, second guessing their choices anymore than she would her own.
Within the wheelhouse she settled Benedict in a blanket, uncertain if they would encounter an inn before it became necessary for the men of her escort to pitch their own pavilion. But the boy was like to nap intermittently and if he was to drift, Victaria would arrange it be done in relative comfort. Bethany by contrast did require direct engagement to distract her, as the surroundings of trees passing by the window began to blend into the mundane. She had her questions, of course, nobles did not up and decide to depart in an instant as her mother had done and for all her attempts, Victaria was not wholly successful in stifling her anger. Knowing that so soon as the fight in her subsided the tears would tremble to fall, emboldened only that they would not be for Jonos to see.
This suffering she held in silence, explaining, "Your auntie Vera is to be wed," she said settling Betha beside her, "It has all been quite abrupt of her, she must worry for the coming winter and aims to swear her oaths before snow's first fall. She has asked us not only to share in her day, but aid in its preparation. A task any sister would relish."
She rest her chin atop her daughter's head, "Just as your brothers will partake for your sake, when it is your turn."
Few as the leagues were between Stone Hedge and the burgeoning city of the Riverlands the wind of the road south to a bridge south of the trident lengthened the journey. All while Victaria was left to stare wistfully across the river fork to await their crossing, nearer to territory where someone who loved her awaited. When the weather was not abhorrent with woeful gales or an excess of moisture, it was along the water she would break to allow her little ones opportunities to stretch their legs. She did not let them wade nearer to the bank unattended though she did guide Bethany with her to its edge with their hands adjoined, to dip their toes within the water before the chill had set fully into temperatures frigid and unforgiving.
They slowed at taverns and inns where a decent night's rest was all but assured and a hot meal to send one on their way to resting. These establishments a bit rustic by Victaria's tastes but endured for the comfort of her children and that the wilds offered few in comparison. It was perhaps simply stones stacked high that she did yearn for, high walls to surround her as they did her heart. Stretching ever higher with each roll of the carriage's wheel which bore them further from the fief belonging to the Lord Bracken.
Before they could catch a distinct sight of the city proper, the Bay of Crabs gleamed upon the horizon and the settlement hugging its shore was but a blip in the distance. Encouraging Bethany to regard their approach by implying that while no princess resided within the castle they were attending that her auntie Vera was almost a fable herself in beauty and that someday she would preside over all of Maidenpool, "Just as I have done in Stone Hedge with your Lord Father."
. . .
"You're... you were not expected so soon," despite that her sister had been residing within the walls of Maidenpool, in comparison to Victaria, Vera looked downright disheveled. There was a flush to her, plain of dress and with her locks hanging loose looking as if they were in need of brushing. Brought upon perhaps by a haste to reach the courtyard where the Lady Bracken and her babes were disembarking their carriage.
"Oh?" she queried, "Was that not your raven come roost, begging the wisdom of your pompous sister?"
Vera was rapidly approaching a tone not dissimilar to the fiery hue of her hair, that which Victaria had ever envied of her. Beholden herself to the blonde hue of their mother's bloodline in its stead. What a contrast that will cut to lambswool, the thought struck and in its accompaniment a score of envy, I was as good as lost in white during a winter's wedding.
"It was not mine if the scrawl might imply insult," Vera insisted with a degree of urgency, as if afraid the accusation the Lady Bracken implied in teasing had been one sincerely felt. While they were kin, so too would they be peers when the wedding was in its commencement; Vera had been on the wrong end of Victaria's ire enough when they were children that she had no desire to earn that of the Lady Bracken either.
Ushering the children ahead of her toward the keep proper, "A jest, Vera," she answered, "If our arrival is a burden to you it would not trouble us terribly to turn back for Stone Hedge until the wedding."
"No, no," she waved her hands in assurance, which was to say frantic, "It is of no quarrel, I assure you. We lived a stone's throw from one another when I was in Harrenhal and I hardly saw you in a decade... that you would answer my summons so promptly is touching, Victaria. Truly."
"You never sent a raven from Harrenhal," it was a statement more than a retort, a certain unkindness in its speaking. But the barb was the kind that Vera would need grow accustomed to deflecting.
Vera paused, peering pensively at her sister, "Nor in Harrenhal did I receive one."
"Ah," the amusement that arose in Victaria was not mocking, nor the laugh to adjoin it, "So you have been shaped in the shadow of the Lady Shella after all. That is well, I worried for you. Even the bravest of women have been known to buckle as they are brought to alter as bride, or afterward beneath the whims of their husband."
"Lord Bryan has given no cause for concern."
Yet.
Victaria did not let the word slink past her teeth. It was not right to speak ill of her Lord Husband no matter their disputes, not even in the confidence of family when Vera had highlighted already the estrangement they shared. That was a war her own to wage. And not one that warranted counsel when her sister had confessed an excess of trepidation surrounding her nuptials already, "Then let us concern ourselves with his bride, instead," she said, "Once I have seen my babes settled I should like to speak to the steward aiding in your wedding arrangements. Reluctant as you have been to wed before the realm at large should be no excuse to stifle the splendor you are deserving of. There is life to autumn, an array of colour we must take full advantage of as no sister of mine will have her wedding remembered as little better than a harvest feast at cusp of winter's coming."

We are so frustrated at the moment as my husband lost his German citizenship unintentionally. Looking for some ideas. Desperate for solutions!

• born and raised in Germany with everyone in family being German citizens (mum dad brother cousins)
• moved to Australia in his twenties and started family
• gained Australian citizenship without the knowledge that it cancels his German citizenship (admitting fault for not looking into it properly!)
• wife, kid and job are all in Australia
• tried to reapply German citizenship but was told no strong reasons for him to have it any more

Yes it’s his negligence not to research the consequences before getting Australian passport.
Yes technically his life is in Australia now
however there are still strong family ties and he’s born and raised a German. Would have never given away the identity if he knew better…
What’s everyone’s opinion on the chance of regaining German citizenship back? Would it be helpful to engage a lawyer?

My little sister (20) just found out she’s pregnant and I guess she’s getting engaged to her bf (25) of barely 5 months this week. I feel like it’s too soon considering they don’t know much about each other (he has expressed this). He didn’t even know we have a brother until 2 weeks ago. He also has been saying how she’s immature and “too young for him.” Her bf also told my BIL that the ring he got her was used from Facebook marketplace and seemed proud that it was cheaper than her pawned promise ring. Anyways.. me (23) and my bf (25) have been together for 4 1/2 years and I guess he already bought my ring and was planning to propose to me at the end of this month and he has been planning this for a long time. I’m just upset because I don’t want my engagement to be overshadowed by hers especially with the pregnancy announcement. I’m frustrated and idk what to do. My bf said we can put the engagement off but I’d rather not. I feel like I’ve been patient. And we’ve been talking about this for a couple years now. I’m just upset ab this and idk how to go about it. I feel like I’ll look dumb getting engaged a week after her.

My little sister (20) just found out she’s pregnant and I guess she’s getting engaged to her bf (25) of barely 5 months this week. I feel like it’s too soon considering they don’t know much about each other (he has expressed this). He didn’t even know we have a brother until 2 weeks ago. He also has been saying how she’s immature and “too young for him.” Her bf also told my BIL that the ring he got her was used from Facebook marketplace and seemed proud that it was cheaper than her pawned promise ring. Anyways.. me (23) and my bf (25) have been together for 4 1/2 years and I guess he already bought my ring and was planning to propose to me at the end of this month and he has been planning this for a long time. I’m just upset because I don’t want my engagement to be overshadowed by hers especially with the pregnancy announcement. I’m frustrated and idk what to do. My bf said we can put the engagement off but I’d rather not. I feel like I’ve been patient. And we’ve been talking about this for a couple years now. I’m just upset ab this and idk how to go about it. I feel like I’ll look dumb getting engaged a week after her.

This is going to be a long read, and I would really appreciate the feedback on how to move forward with this case and supervisors.
I have been working with my company as a part-time behavior interventionist for a little under a year, and I've been enjoying it since I love working with children and I've had positive experiences until now. I have two clients, and I started working on my second client's case in January. The constant neglect from the case supervisor is making me want to quit the case, as it's turning into an "ugh, I have to go to this client's house today" situation.
For some background, my second client's case has two supervisors, which I think is odd. One only joins via Telehealth twice a week, biweekly, for supervision, and the other one is supposed to go in person to fulfill the in-person hours they must do. Since the end of January, the in-person supervisor has gone to the client's home three times during my sessions.
Here are the multiple problems:
1: The client has been showing aggression towards me by hitting me with an open hand wherever the hit lands, but mostly in my face. The antecedent appears to be excitement, as she started doing it when she was smiling, laughing, and eager, yet lately there has been no apparent antecedent (more on this later).

1. The client (F7) has a little brother (M4) that has also started hitting me. I'm not even standing at the threshold of the home, and he already has his tiny hand up to slap me wherever the hit lands. Mom was non-efficient in redirecting him until recently. The thing is, he is constantly hitting me for no reason. He comes out of nowhere and hits me, and this has been going on since February or March.
   
2. It was up to me to redirect both children after they hit me, as their mom would not do anything about it until I sent a message to both supervisors and the other BI saying how the client and her brother are showing constant aggression towards me. The other BI shared how the brother would also hit her, and after that message last month, the mom has been on top of parenting him to prevent hitting and putting him in time out when he does. Other BI and I have noticed that he started doing it when we gave attention to his sister, aka the client.
   
3. Because the little brother is constantly hitting me and playing with all the stimuli I once had neatly organized are now lost (including dtt, puzzles, stickers, the token board, coloring books, shaping posters, etc.). It used to feel like I was babysitting him, but now it feels like I'm giving both children ABA therapy as he is constantly engaging in unwanted behaviors towards me or my client (his sister). The only thing left is a couple of DTT stimuli and the token board, and he cries when I say "my turn" and take the materials from him in order to work with his sister.
   
4. The client and her brother go off each other's energy. If the little brother tantrums, she will tantrum; if the little brother hits me, she will hit me; if he does unwanted behavior, she does it too; and that adds to the feeling of having two clients in one session (I'm not a professional to diagnose, and it's wrong to make assumptions, but I completely believe the little brother is also on the spectrum as he shows signs such as echolalia, delayed speech, aggression, and tantrums when access is not immediately granted to items he wants or needs help with; he is in a general and special education class at school). The siblings go off each other's energy, and although mom is more helpful with my brother now, it still feels like I'm doing a double job with no support.
   
5. Last week, my client threw a cup at my head, which she had never done before. It was just her and me in the playroom, and I got my device to record data, and when I was looking down, she threw a cup at my head and laughed. I redirected her once again, and mom came into the room afterwards, but it was the moment where I thought, "Wow, I'm completely alone in this case, and it's making me want to quit it." I immediately sent a message to the Telehealth supervisor, saying what happened and letting her know I needed more general support on the case.
   

The supervisor's response:
I sent an email in March letting both of them know that the client started showing aggression towards me and how I redirected her. All the in-person supervisor told me was to add the "show me nice hands" prompt to the redirection. The second supervisor did not even reply until two days later, with no help. As mentioned, I sent a message last month in the group chat (in which I suggested creating, thinking we would be in constant communication) that the client and her brother were constantly showing aggression towards me. The response from the in-person supervisor was to prompt "nice hands" and "calm body," which is clearly doing nothing for my client as she won't even look my way when I try.

1. The problem with the Telehealth supervisor is that I've reached out to her three times total since the cup aggression behavior, requesting a meeting to discuss the case. I told her I would prefer to have the meeting before going back to the client's home this week, and the Telehealth supervisor has yet to respond, which fills me with anger and disappointment. Although she was quick on asking me the required medical attention question and reporting it to HR. The following day, HR sent me documents to sign due to declining medical attention. She was quick to send it to HR, but she still hasn't provided a meeting for me.

I clearly don't know how to handle the aggression and the little brother, and all I'm asking for is support. The constant unresponsiveness from the supervisor I'm reaching out to is making me want to take the next step from the employee handbook, as it clearly states, "You and your supervisor can satisfactorily resolve most problems. You should first present any questions or concerns about policies, procedures, equipment, safety, or other matters to your supervisor. If you are not satisfied with the answer from your supervisor or you feel that you cannot discuss the issue with your supervisor, you should talk."
I have to go to the client's house tomorrow, and it's sad that it's turning into an "I hate my job" situation when I know I can have a proactive team and support as I do for my first client, which is run by a completely different supervisor.
How should I move forward? Because of this, I'm thinking of emailing both the in-person and Telehealth supervisors and CCing HR, letting them know I'm uncomfortable going to the client's home and refusing to go until I meet with them, providing the support I definitely need. Could I get in trouble for that? Is that the right move? What would you do? I feel bad for complaining about the client's little brother, but I'm getting paid to provide ABA services to a client, not two. I'm not a babysitter. I shouldn't be putting up with this. It's an unpaid hour drive to their home, so as of now, refusing to go until I get support is one choice, or asking to be removed from the case (which I would hate to give up on my client) is the only thing on my mind.
TLTR: My client and her little brother are constantly hitting me, although mom stepped up her parenting game; the shared case supervisor I'm reaching out to for support is practically ghosting me, and I want to quit the case if it doesn't get better.

So, I (23M) proposed to my now fiance B (23M). My sister in law, R (22F), invited us over for dinner that night. I had planned to propose to B sometime this month and I thought the perfect moment would be to propose to him in her kitchen when she went to go get something from a friend. B did say yes and we're happily engaged. It's hard to tell if R is happy for us because she keeps texting me and telling me her kitchen doesn't feel the same. Whenever I see her, she still seems bitter about me deciding to ask her brother to marry me then and there. It's late so I'm sorry if this doesn't make much sense, but I want to know if I'm the asshole for proposing in her kitchen?
Edit : When I did propose, she was not in the room and it took a bit for her to figure out it did happen in her kitchen. I should have clarified that she is happy for me and B, but I'm assuming she's still mad since this was in her kitchen without permission

beauty
which i have now
fades so quick
i can’t even grasp it
actors and actresses
statues looking at you
only the garb changes
one of the strongest emerging social trends that arise as a consequence of increased longevity is a necessity to think about slowing cognitive decline in the over 50’s which means attention to diet and supplements, exercise , general fitness and "wear and tear", alcohol and drug consumption
my feeling is we are going to see sharp divides between subcultures in this respect and a lot of individual variation
also, a lot of the public health advice and cultural opinions are wrong minded or ill-informed, you have to do your own research and experimentation
a way of looking at the covid public health debacle (which continues despite the cardiovascular and cancer risks of boosters) was to trade off a reduced death rate in the elderly for an increased vaccine injury problem for the young
a verse by touzi on #3 of master fushan’s sixteen themes translated by suru
the death within life
birds clench the falling blossoms before the emerald cliffs, every word responds to conditions, spreading throughout — they ask of coming west, pointing to the cypress in the yard, but how could the passage through the lush mountain peaks be shut ?
活中死。鳥銜華落碧嵓前。對境皆言到處傳。人問西來指庭柏。豈關蒼翠嶺頭穿。
my reply:
what cannot be shut
is always open
but to avoid the common herd
it is disguised
why write things people understand ?
they just make your life a misery with their missionizing of a contrary view
to confuse them is better
they can’t target you
no "master"
except the claim
fantasies about reality
seek a center
its doesn’t exist
non-existence or otherwise
ed. zen is full of fake claims to authority by the appellation of "zen master", same with any religion and its "pooh-bahs"
that’s the trouble with writing
its lasts forever
so
necessarily
you are writing forever
i am appreciating the philosopher gilles deleuze more
the untranslated portion at the end goes
so you understand, when you have such an idea, the important is not to know whether it is true or false
the question is to know if it is important, if it is interesting, and if it is beautiful
and it is the same in science, it is the same in philosophy, you know
waterslipt
a furball
widening ripples on
the smooth surface
of a reflective river
a platypus
ed. i was having lunch at a clearing on the bank of the mersey rivestream near the eastern end of bridle track road, the day was amazingly clear and windless and the river smooth and i noticed a platypus working its way feeding on the bottom to surface occasionally for breath then go back down again
this morning i serendipitously put on a shirt and trousers that "matched", i have always been sceptical of the concept, but since there are clothes that don’t match, there must be those that do match, though what constitutes the female sense of this, i still cannot fathom
the abdication of the duke of windsor was in fact a surface effect of a deeper political struggle, would britain become a client state of germany or would it resist ?
the outcome was not as obvious as you might think
taking actors as real
and a set as reality
is it any wonder
the dissembling mess
collapses ?
the circle of the contemporary
rubbish generating more rubbish
stay there at your own risk
sharing the same road for a while
but later
looking at the forks and branches
i realise
we are apart
inscribed on the tower at veneration monastery
in cold spring, a hundred-foot tower
i climb up alone, and then back down alone
who can manage such distances of the heart ?
david hinton
classical chinese poetry
the poet is tu mu (803 to 853 a.d.) with a bio on page 378 of the "classical chinese poetry" pdf link
definitely medieval with the mention of a functional tower
an interesting thing about frieda hughes is she did not have her mother’s talent, of course neither did ted
there is just a remarkable depth to sylvia plath’s work and this was despite all the obstacles, what genetic quirk created her or would , if her parents had more children, they have a similar talent ?
this prosaic world
because its written in prose of course
its not a poetic world
because its not written in poetry
if you take away the "zen master" or saint or prophet as an authority figure, what do you then have ?
Regulus replies:
People acceptant of the existent reality
my reply:
the monk asked zen master regulus "what is required to be enlightened" ?
zen master regulus replied "be accepting of existing reality"
the monk was left speechless
lee smolin doesn’t like jonathon oppemheim’s stochastic gravity approach
its interesting to watch lee talk with the constant gesticulatory body movements, almost tourette's, but he is using them to think, they are part of his cognition process
how simple is the world ?
its not that simple
and certainly not as simple as the way we view it to be
insight
takes you back
and obviates
some future lives
the brain
is
a
quantum
machine
words in a story
believable or unbelievable ?
don’t
be
fooled
.
words in a story
believable or unbelievable ?
don’t be fooled
so much knowledge
everywhere
each branch opens up exponentially
drowning in detail
its pursuer
i guess i have got so interested in hearts because of hunting and looking at them, in one animal, it beat for minutes cut out from the body; never seen any that had human like aging diseases
i think as a society we have lost touch with our own raw "viscerality", i hunt for my own meat; the killing, butchering and eating does bring one back in touch with that, the commonality with our homonin history
heart and lungs animation
the number of people who have no understanding of what even moderate levels of drinking does to their lives and long term health
you have won the existential lottery where the odds are so small of winning, no number covers it and to chip away at brain function with drugs and alcohol like that . . .
you want to experiment with doing some translation yourself with google and you will realise how its possible to construct almost any sense out of the chinese, its actually not meaningful to do any commentary without going back to the chinese, the variance is so large, translators follow their own biases to create a narrative that suits them
“ continuous as the stars that shine and twinkle on the milky way ”
wordsworth’s famous poem which he wrote based on notes by his sister dorothy was in effect co-authored by her
strangers to me
thirty years of no contact
exile speaks
of unwanted distance
.
strangers to me
thirty years of no contact
exile speaks
unwanted distance
ed. looking at a photo of my sister, niece and brother in law who are all very much changed since i last saw them notions of exile are not common in western literature, but are certainly there in the chinese
lost roads
can’t be recovered
what we have travelled
always
takes us
to
a different place
i love a sotherby’s auction , vast sums spent for my entertainment, all free, it don’t get slicker, a living made from networking skills and being personable
i was about to go negative on the painting by lucy bull, but on looking further i quite like her work
you have to be careful, auctioneers like these can talk the money out of your wallet
xu qiyao’s advice to his son on being successful in CCP politics
“ the path of understanding requires objectivity and experience ”
ed. the above is my reworking of the first lines of the xinxin ming which, amongst its more "normal" translations is
“ the great way is not difficult, just avoid picking and choosing ”
the xinxin ming is an abridged version of the mind inscription
心性不生何須知見
“ reality is either itself or not. is there any point to understanding this ? ”
ed. my translation of the first line of the "mind inscription"
"don’t interrupt your enemy when he’s making a mistake" — napoleon
i think in the context of divorce , what people find difficult is the necessity of switching to the extreme mindset of being at war and all that entails because that is what is immediately required
billie and finneas o’connell discuss how they created the "what am i made for" song for the film "barbie"
billie in her own words describes the process
“ Dr. Raszek provides insights from his participation in a comprehensive review concerning the utilization of synthetic uridines in mRNA vaccines (ed. covid) and their potential implications for cancer development
The discussion delves into the intricate mechanisms that could be at play, exploring how these synthetic components might inadvertently suppress the body's innate immune system, induce frameshifting phenomena, and contribute to the production of IgG4 antibodies, all of which could potentially influence cancer growth ”
my comment
i think we can expect an upsurge in cancers, especially amongst the elderly as a result of the misguidedly intensive "booster" campaign, though it may take a while to show
the forward momentum
of habituation
leading
to
habits
that
become
unbreakable
the fallacy of "negation"
its not this, its not that
but its what its not
negation is a stylised buddhist rhetorical technique, nāgārjuna of course and you get it in dogen, they’ll say something then walk it back through its negation
but having walked it forwards, there is a sense in which it can’t be walked back or it could not be walked forwards another way of putting it is there is no ontological unity, everything is constantly splitting apart
zen masters and the authority they carry are literary constructs
buddha is a literary construct
jesus, muhammad and moses are literary constructs
the egyptian book of the dead is a literary construct
does it bother you that your advice is so bad ?
no
the blindness of narcissism

I'm from the west coast my bride is from the midwest, we both live four hours from her home town (we've been here for 9 and seven years respectively now). We got engaged in December and targeted a July wedding as we'd be moving to the east coast in August and wanted to move in together only after being married (we're Christian).
I was extremely maxed out with work and dealing with several family issues this winter including the death of my brother. I wasn't excited about the city of choice, but her mom's friend is a planner and agreed to do a lot for us for basically nothing. I knew i didn't have the capacity or wherewithal to push to my hometown, nor the bandwidth to offer much in the way of planning before summer hit—so I agreed.
We were shooting for less than 200 people (250 max) but now of the ~110 of my invites I've had only ~38 RSVP yes (of those not yet replied I don't expect more than ~10 more).
Aunts, uncles, cousins, close friends from several chapters of life where I was born and raised/lived until I was 27 years old (2015)...cannot make it. Some extenuating reasons, but many because they simply cannot drop ~$1K for RT flights + hotel etc.
I am sad and severely disappointed that I did not push to have the wedding in my hometown. I'm 35 years old, extremely extroverted, I've looked forward to this day for a long time and a huge part of this anticipation was having all of my favorite people in the same place at once.
I don't want to take away from her excitement, (we have ~200 guests) but I had to be honest let her know that I sincerely regret the location choice and that my excitement for wedding day is pretty deflated.
Edit: two things

1. Some have assumed that I've done nothing for our wedding, and put all the burden on her; that is not the case. I merely said we got a planner to help us. I've been active every step of the way and we have each devoted time weekly to tasks related to our wedding. I created our whole guest spreadsheet, designed our invitations, I made our website and registry, and all the other details we've collaborated on. What I said was I didn't have capacity to push for my hometown even though the current reality was a concern for me.
2. A few have mentioned this so I will say, we had already planned to do a smaller second reception in our current city (of which I would be championing most the planning as I will leave my job by June). We have already been floating the idea of nixing that or making it even more of a low key thing at church after service or something at this point, and are strong considering a second reception in my home town. Perhaps i am just in my feelings, but I really don't love the idea of having to plan another thing.