hi all,
i've struggled with eczema for as long as i've been alive. due to a combination of parental neglect and special needs with eczema, i never really figured out how to care for my skin. it's especially a problem now that i am a teenager with a romantic partner.
i am constantly battling dry dead skin on my nose, my eyebrows, and sometimes on my cheeks. i don't know how to handle it because i have no access to a dermatologist and every ingredient sounds so scary for my skin, i'm afraid of breaking out
what do you guys use just to look/feel presentable? what ingredients or brands should i stay away from?
thank you!

Hey my name is Liam and I wanted to share a theory about the demons some people have collectively seen
Disclaimer: I've done no previous research and pretty much have no idea what I'm talking about
My theory is if you've awakened your brain but not your body something potentially bad can happen and he's stopping it from happening by scaring the shit outta you, this may only happen to some people who tend to freak out less than others in scary situations and the "sleep demon" we all see is pretty much turns up that level of fear to help you awake and to put your body into action to prevent the situation (fight or flight response) whatever this situation is I'm unsure of. Potentially sleep paralysis happening for a longer period which could cause extreme fear, even more so than a demon sitting in your room for a small amount of time, stress so high it could be a snapping point which could maybe make you lose your sanity (I'm a schizophrenic and this one scares me although unlikely) or ones exceptence that they are now paralysed which could cause l.I.S (locked-in syndrome) I haven't done any research so feel free to disprove any of these theories. Also if anyone has a story of them being stuck in a room with a sleep paralysis demon for long periods of time if love to hear it. If you have looked at them for long periods of time what did they do and were they trying to be scary? Like did they randomly run towards you, walk creepily, jumpy movement, overly slow movement?
My experiences:
My first one and main reason of thinking this. I dreamt I was in a room and it was not my room then for some reason hopped in to bed and fell asleep (in the dream) and had a completely different dream which was about some random shit I was doing with my friends don't remeber the details then eventually I awoke for that dream to have a black figure standing over me I couldn't move at all. I was stuck in this weird room that was not mine and was staring straight at him/her I freaked out and then woke up. Lasted total 4 seconds
The next I don't remeber the previous dream at all I just remeber not being able to breath and there's a dark figure staring at me choking me was extremely scary I was trying to move to fight back but couldn't. Dream lasted estimated 6 seconds but was scary as fuck.
Others aren't all that interesting.

Let me get this out of the way: there are many teams who I hate more than the Vancouver Canucks. Sure, it was no fun losing to them in the Sedin era, but the twins themselves were decently likable. Except for Todd Bertuzzi, a legitimate piece of human filth, most of their franchise stars are, likewise, pretty likeable. Say what you well about Kesler, but it's hard to truly hate guys like Luongo, Naslund or Linden. Likewise, their team identity is simply cool: I genuinely like their color scheme, their logo, their jerseys, and the general vibe of Vancouver, housing/heroin crisis aside.
It’s a damn shame, then, that the seeds of greatness have been absolutely wasted on perhaps the worst fanbase in hockey. I’m not saying that Boston and Toronto aren’t insanely nauseating, but the Canucks fans are certainly up there. An entire season, we got to hear about how great the Canucks were, about how their team was totally not built upon sand and a high pdo, They plastered us in the regular season. They had six all-stars. Rick Tocchet was Scotty Bowman, but like, way better and balder. They brigaded the Oilers online spaces like few have ever done before. As much as Oilers fans talked a lot of shit, the Canucks kept it together in the regular season and rode that pdo to a division title. When the playoffs began, they capitalized upon one of the most single lucky performances I can ever remember to send the Predators home.
And then, the Canucks played a series against a good hockey team. My God, did the fans talk shit. The Canucks were a better team who would crush the Edmonton chokers. If you want to throw up in your mouth, look at any Canucks game thread: they had this shit in the bad. The Oilers had no defense, offense, or goaltending. And in the end, the Canucks did it. They went up 3-2. They won three whole games! The series went to seven! They came really, really close to forcing overtime! Some of the guys played with heart! They won the moral victory!
Oh, shit, that's right, they lost where it actually mattered, because that's what the Canucks do. They got their asses beat in '82. They got Messier'ed in '94. In '03, they blew a 3-1 lead to a worthless Wild team that scored one goal in the next round. In 2011... well, they took a team that was one of the best ever assembled on paper, almost choked against a husk-of-itself Blackhawks team, and then took that energy to Boston and blew a 2-0 and 3-2 lead, capped off by a 0-4 game seven. The next time you made it anywhere in the playoffs in 2020, you lost a 0-4 game seven. And now, here we are in 2024, and the Canucks have finally climbed the mountain and only lost 2-3 in the crunch.
Now, here come the buts. But Demko. But Boeser. But the refs. But the league. But actually, it was all fun and with no expectations, the second round was just icing on the top. But everything except taking responsibility and facing the truth: so long as they are tainted by the aura of the worst fanbase in hockey, the Canucks will never win shit. Going forward, this is the best roster the Canucks are going to get for years. Enjoy getting to play the "pay-or-let-walk/trade" game with Hronek, Lindholm, Zadorov, and Joshua, while also getting to replace your entire bottom six. This was your best chance, and you had two separate chances to at least make it to the WCF and make some memories. You blew it. Yeah, weird goalie injuries suck, and blood clots suck harder, but real contenders fight through those, or at least don't lay an egg in games six and seven bar a few flukey goals.
Petterson is legitmately bad when it matters. J.T. Miller had a crazy outlier year and is now really on the wrong side of 30. Ilya Mikheyev is a sack of bricks. Conor Garland sometimes looked scary, but then you look at his stats and remember he put up a grand 5 points in 13 playoff games. Hughes got outplayed by Bouchard when it truly mattered. Silovs wasn't good enough to steal the series. And it doesn't get any better from here!
We all know where this will go now: you guys will suck the Stars off and pretend that you would've have attacked them with just as much gusto had you won. You will make a bunch of pathetic posts about "GG Stars bros." We saw this with the Kings, a similarly pitiful fanbase, and we know how it goes. Maybe, just maybe, every team saying the Stars will curb stomp the Oilers will simply speak it into existence and hide the fact that your sorry-ass team can't even make it that far.
And for the record, Messier did you idiots a favor by exposing the rotten core of a soft team that couldn't win shit, and you’re too stupid to see it. Messier's presence on the team didn't force Garth Snow to be your starting goaltender, nor did it force Bure and Mogilny to never play defense. 90% of you morons couldn’t name a single thing about Wayne Maki. No Oilers fan has ever chanted "FUCK STEVE SMITH," because they have rings to cheer for instead of circlejerking their misery.
When will they learn? Even if the Canucks had won against the Oilers, had gone further, we all know that you would've just lost and rioted. Sadly, it’s not even like 2011 was the only time it happened. The Stanley Cup Victory Riot of 2___ (maybe 3___), which always be a hypothetical, will overshadow the Cup so much that when the junkies finally destroy the city for good or the prices cause literally everyone to move, assuming the Canuck fans don’t do destroy it themselves, people won’t even remember the riot was for a championship. You clowns can't handle losing, can't handle winning, and will never win a Cup.

Hey everyone, figured something like this would help with more people joining on the daily. If everyone wants to win, clear and outlined goals have to be in place. ⬆️ this if you want it to reach more people.
You Need to Trend - This subreddit was #13 on Reddit today, which is genuinely wild. There are lots of people who first heard about this stock just last week. Time to branch out more. Using one hashtag or keyword will help. Engagement is needed too. IG, FB, X, the clock app, and any other app in between (excuse the abbreviations this post got removed before for “linking to an external discussion channel”). ⬆️, 👍, ♡, comment, and boost posts. The higher the visibility the higher the chance of 🚀📈
Give Proof - Telling people to buy and HODL helps, but people are skeptical. Use screenshots. Show them your gains. Show them this subreddit. Show them how much this has climbed up, the number of shorts, do it all. Let them feel the FOMO.
Be Patient - Everyone can strike it big, but don’t expect it to be “quick”. As a reminder “quick” does not mean immediately. People want immediate results. In all truth, a lot of you have already seen results. This stock has soared and climbed despite the skepticism. There’s no denying it. Even those who sold can’t deny they had success, and those with losses only have themselves to blame. Stand firm. Armies crumble when ranks scramble.
Key Figures - Clearly there’s no one clear leader here. That means there’s a need for a clear angle, one many already have. It’s big bad Wall Street versus the strong united apes. Rally the masses against the common enemy. Everyone wants a victory, and nothing is sweeter than a win against someone everyone wants to see get theirs. The ones who don’t care about the common folk.
Avoid Burnout - MOMENTUM IS VITAL. There have already been a few bumps on the road and it’s only been about a week. It’s not going to be full throttle all the time. You have to be on the same page, and remember to keep yourselves in mind too. Save your energy when engaging with haters or overly skeptical people on here. Support one another. Apes. Together. Strong.
Brace for Turbulence - A snowboard instructor once told me, “it’s going to get a lot worse before it gets better” and boy were they right. Those stock dips and those downhill slopes feel the same, especially if you’re new. They’re fast, scary, and it feels like you need to bail before it gets worse. Don’t. Invest at your own discretion, but it’s going to get messy at times. People sold at around $1.31 today and the current price is $1.79. That may seem like a small difference but a $0.48 cent difference adds up when you’ve got a large number of shares.
Godspeed.
*Not financial advice or a directive.

So, in May 2023, my friend (Em f23) and I (f28) had a conversation that started off friendly. Just chit-chat and funny anecdotes from the day. She brought up a situation with her coworker she enjoyed. It involved tourettes and one of her coworkers' specific tics.
I made a comment that I genuinely didn't think much of at the time. It was just some trivia I knew of and thought was interesting. Specifically that people with tourettes can 'catch' or involuntarily copy tics from other people with tourettes. It's something I learned from watching content made by people with tourettes. She made a comment like, "Maybe it's not like that, in this specific situation with my coworker."
Here's where I should have realised she was not interested in my trivia. What I definitely didn't realise was that it in fact made her mad, but I kept pushing anyways because I felt I was correct, that the coworker had picked up the tic from a well know streamer because it was literally identical. Em then stopped answering, after a couple hours of silence I asked her if she was actually mad about what I said and she responded with "Its fucking fine." Cue her not talking to me at all for 3 days. On the third day, she said we needed to have a sit-down conversation about boundaries because she "is having big feelings." her words, not mine.
I was so confused about what would have triggered her wanting to talk about boundaries when the conversation we had was a mild disagreement at worst. I would understand if I said something offensive, but I literally just said a fact and my opinion on her coworker, I didn't try to force her to agree, and there's proof of the streamer with that specific tic so it wasn't like I was lying to be able to one up her or something? I don't know, this whole part of the situation is incredibly confusing to me because she never talked about why that conversation triggered her to give me the silent treatment in the first place or how it led her to wanting to talk about boundaries. In the end, the boundaries she talked about much much later had nothing to do with this conversation even though it seemed to be what caused her to want boundaries. Idk, I'm still very confused about what actually caused her to want to have the discussion after the three days of silence and a minor disagreement.
At this point, still May 2023, I was in severe pain, but I did not know it was cancer yet. I was barely making it through each day with how much I was in pain. The tumor is in my leg, growing out of the top portion of my tibia in a way that has made the tibial platue hollow, or essentially a whisper thin shell of bone filled with slime, sorry but that's the best way to describe it. At any moment, my surgeon told me this later, I could have broken that thin bone and had a collapsed knee joint. I say this so you you know when I talk about pain here, I'm talking excruciating levels of pain.
So walking specifically and everything else was extremely painful, and that was taking a lot of energy and brain space. I told her I was in a ton of pain. I was exhausted and barely scraping by just to keep working while waiting for my doctors visits to hopefully figure out what was wrong. I said I would try to find a day to have "the talk," but things just kept getting worse. By the end of July I had seen four different doctors, three of which thought I was just trying to get drugs, the last one was an orthopedic doctor and she took two minutes of looking at an xray and another minute of looking at my leg to say I most likely had a tumor.
The official on paper diagnosis came in September because of the waiting time to meet with the surgeon, but we knew it was a tumor in August. I was put on essentially bed rest from august to the day I had surgery September 27th. I told Em about the tumor the day I got the MRI results which I had in mid August to prepare for the appointment with the surgeon. Her response was extremely upsetting to me.
Em: "That's a lot to deal with. The possibility of having a malignant tumor is scary and can make you really question life. When you're put into a situation like that, it forces you to look back on your life and reevaluate. You find out what you really want out of life and what you waisted too much time dealing with. That's really tough. I'm sorry I made you feel like you couldn't talk to me about your pain. Being more supportive of each other was something I wanted to talk about. Hopefully, you have a sweet and easy recovery."
That response hurt, it felt like she was saying I had a lot to regret in life and like I didn't have much time left to live to fix my regrets. But I thanked her for the empathy she tried to give and moved on. After that she never checked in on me, never asked how I was or what the plan of treatment was. My surgery was scheduled for the end of Spetember, the day after her birthday. I wished her a happy birthday. Then I let her know after the surgery that everything went well and that I was going to be in the hopsital for a few days. I was loopy on strong pain meds so i also told her that my nurse drew me a cute doodle on my white board, she said ".That's great! Hopefully you heal fast so you can go on a date with her. 😉" which was totally out of the blue. I havent dated anyone in the time Ive know or been friends with Em. Im asexual, and an extreme introvert, dating is not really my thing and she knows this. So that comment was very weird to me. After that she never even texted to check in on me or tried to visit me in the 5 days I stayed in the hospital after the surgery. Keep in mind, we are supposedly best friends.
I almost considered our friendship over by then, but I reached out to her when I was pretty much back on my feet to see what was going on and asked her what the conversation about boundaries was about. I apologized for being too chicken shit to ask about it earlier because I don't do well emotionally with getting criticism even when it's valid and I know I need to hear it. On top of that I was (and still am) dealing with fucking cancer. Not an excuse, it is an explanation though. So I apologized.
Her responses here, copy and pasted from our messages:
Em:
"First off I want so say that it's very respectable that you are willing to admit what you did wrong. Thank you for the apology.
Secondly, I don't know if the the conversation is still worth having. I'd be lying if I said I was devastated that we dropped off and didn't communicate for months. To be brutally honest, my life has drastically improved in our time apart. I'm so much more effective and positive. I'm very proud of how far I've come.
That's not to say I believed that you were the soul cause of all of my misfortune. In fact one of the boundaries I wanted to set was actual planned dates instead of spontaneous ones. Because I realized that I was using you like a form of procrastination. I couldn't do the things I needed to do because I chose to hang out with you instead. With my main distraction gone I've been able to thoroughly work through my shit, mental and physical.
When we last hung out I remembered feeling dark and heavy afterwards because it was nothing special. It was just a normal outing for us. I remember feeling angry that what we should have talked about wasn't addressed. Annoyed that it seemed like nothing had changed and that I had not changed. And scared that opening up communication could lead to me falling back into the pit again.
I don't know if we should have the original talk because so much has changed for both of us. We both equally walked over our own thresholds of hell. What I had to say months ago, I believe was true then, but I don't think it will be true now. I think it's quite possible for us to start anew and correct and develop as we go. But I think it would be just as easy to admit our friendship was a great experience. We were there when we needed each other. But it might be time to go our separate ways.
I will say, if we collectively choose to merge back together. I WON'T let it be the same. I don't want you to tell me every tiny dark secret. But I do want you to tell me that you want to stop at game stop and ask me to take you somewhere. Without fear of gas. I want you to tell me if it pisses you off that I take you to only crystal shops or that I talk about spiritually. Because I want to improve. I have no intention of continuing a relationship that doesn't inspire growth or bring me positivity."
So she stopped talking to me, because she had no self-control. She abandoned me during the worst medical crisis of my fucking life, because she doesn't know how to manage her time or her motivation. She punished me, for her problems. To be very specific the spontaneous hanging out was nearly 100% on her. I would ask to hang out rarely, because I never had the chance to because she would be asking to see me multiple times a week.
I'm not a social person, so other than work I don't have much going on and she was my best friend. I wasn't going to say no if I didn't have any other plans. She never brought up that she was procrastinating anything by hanging out with me. Never a peep. Never a hint. Nothing. I had no idea any of that was going on. If I did know I would have been 150,000% there to support her by asking how her goals were going, how her chores were going. Hell I would have helped her do chores as our hang out if she had asked. I did help her with some stuff. Painting her head board, rearranging and cleaning her room, working on crafts when she needed motivation to finish a piece for a friend, being a study buddy when she needed to focus on her mental health books, things like that.
Also in what world is learning to be accountable for your own actions and vacuuming regularly the same as going through cancer? I don't like comparing pain or life struggles usually, but this was a crossed line for me. For her to say her dealing with procrastination was an "equal threshold of hell" as my bone eating tumor and excruciating pain and the fear of it spreading to other parts of my body, it infuriates me still to think about that.
So I am now hurt and angry as hell, that she stopped talking to me over seemingly nothing that I did. I had no idea what was going on with the tourettes coworker conversation that ended in "its fucking fine" from her and then her next message was about her needing to set boundaries. And then she says her life is better without me in it.
Friendship effectively over. Or it should have been.
Here's where I'm a bit of an asshole.
I took her back. I said we could try again. That we both needed to improve but that we could do it better this time. At the time I genuinely believed it. For a couple weeks.
Then the more I thought about laying in that hospital bed, alone, wishing I had someone to distract me from the pain and fear, the more I started to realise her reasons for cutting contact was bullshit. Her wanting to have this big talk about boundaries and the boundaries she wanted were literally nothing I could do they were all her issues with her own decisions and there's was nothing I could change about myself to fix the problem she was putting 50/50 on my shoulders. Her saying her life was better without me when that whole time I was crying over missing her and trying to figure out what I did wrong where I fucked up, what I could do or say to fix it. It all just added up too much and so I sent her one last message.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking and going through my emotions and I think I'm going to step back from whatever this friendship has turned into. I'll be honest I feel betrayed that you didn't even try to support me going through cancer. I understand things were rocky when I got my diagnosis, however if our friendship was important to you on any level I can't understand why you didn't even text me to see how I was doing for months at a time when you knew I was going through one of, if not the most, difficult medical diagnosis humans can get. I felt completely abandoned, especially since the reason we even stopped talking and hanging out was because of your own procrastination issues which I had nothing to do with. If you had even just told me that you needed to get things done before we could hang out I would have supported you unconditionally. Instead you gave a vague "we need to talk about boundaries and being more supportive of each other." And then never supported me in the darkest time of my life so far. It's taken me a while to get to the root of why I feel the way I do, but I don't think I can just let this go like I wanted to. I loved being your friend and it always felt like you valued my friendship too, until you were cutting me off because of your poor time management. I know that will sound harsh, I'm sorry, but it's true. I have my own issues that hurt you, I know that and I really am sorry. I am sorry I could never reciprocate financially, I'm sorry you were the one always picking me up and driving. I'm sorry that I never gave you the birthday or Christmas gifts you wanted. Thank you for all the amazing times. Goodbye."
To clarify the gift thing, I have been very poor for a long time. I am neurodivergent and I struggle to hold down a job. But I hand made her gifts, or cooked for her. The last thing I made for her was a crochet mandala blanket, please look up Radiance Mandala Blanket to see how much effort I went to, she picked the colors and I made her a lap blanket version for christmas 2022. It took her less than a month to complain that she wished she could have picked the colors. SHE DID. I told her to pick a pallet of colors specifically for her blanket and did my best to match the colors she picked with yarn I already owned. It wasn't perfect but I got it as close as I could. I don't like to make a big deal out of things I do for people because giving to the ones I love is literally the easiest thing in the world for me. But to have her act like I didnt try to make it as perfect for her as I could hurt so much.
Anyways, back to me telling her I was done. Her reply back pissed me off, maybe because I was already angry. It felt so patronizing and dismissive. But that might just be because of all the emotions I was already feeling at the time I read it.
Em: "Your feelings are valid. I'm sorry I made you feel abandoned in the hardest time. I wish you the best of luck on your way through life. Fall in love, have your farm, raise your kids, craft wonderful creations, enjoy the many YouTube videos to come, and don't forget to live your best self. I'll take this harsh lesson and apply it to friendships in the future. Live long and prosper, my friend, and have many pleasant wanderings."
Harsh lesson my ass. If it was harsh for anyone it was harsh for me to learn my best friend gave absolutely no shits about me and couldnt be bothered to try and support me through this medical crisis. We haven't spoken since. I have her blocked on everything. So, aita for cutting off Em? Even though I'm angry, I'm conflicted because I still love her, she was my best friend for 6 years.

So basically me and my bf have just started dating and he’s amazing and i have zero reasons to not trust him- but unfortunately due to some trauma from my past relationships with men it’s really screwed up my trust with them as a whole. I really like him tho and i want it to work so is there any way that could help me get over these fears or anxieties? It’s not affecting our relationship negatively yet and he’s been very supportive so far but i really just wanna move on from these traumas and be able to focus on our relationship and not the men that hurt me. Especially because the one year anniversary of a very scary event (i wont go into detail but it involved non consensual stuff happening) happened recently and it’s been weighing down on me and i literally can’t get it out of my mind atm. I want him to see me as the awesome gf i know i can be and not the mistrusting scared person i am right now. Does anyone know any tips to help me move on?
I know the obvious answer would be to go to therapy but unfortunately the only available appointments for me are like a month and a half away so i figured i’d come here to get some advice anyway cause i can’t wait that long lol. I just like him so much and i know he would be patient with me no matter what but this is still something i wanna do for me and our relationship because he’s seriously the sweetest.

I don’t really conform to just one religion how ever I mostly hold beliefs from the Bible. God and Demons and angels and such. But for the last few months I have been getting insane nightmares and odd coincidences that just don’t really make any sense.things I dream of good and bad replaying in some way the next day. My nightmares almost always involve me becoming aware I’m dreaming, but not fully in control of myself I accidentally say that I’m aware, or the character in my dream figures it out and things get scary. In which case I have to recite the Lord’s Prayer to wake up. A similar thing to sleep paralysis happens as well, except I can’t open my eyes- but I can still see. I cannot move my body but I can feel my arms lifting up, can feel myself fighting to move and can feel myself move off my bed only to be violently ripped back and wake up with a start. Then tonight, that same thing happened. I was sleeping and suddenly I had a thought about my third eye, and then I was awake but couldn’t move and someone/thing was yelling in my ears words I couldn’t make out. Not scary but they sounded desperate.
It’s been a major cause for concern, and I’ve heard things before but this is the first time it’s been so clear, and it just so happens to be the anniversary of an old friends death today. Am I in danger? Are there some sort of spiritual protection rituals I should be doing? Some other way to listen and hear things? Do I need professional help? I’m just a bit concerned.

Wow, this one might me a long one.
So I moved to (undisclosed location) sometime in the beginning of last year. When I moved here I really had no friends but became heavily involved in this yoga studio I went to and slowly but surely started to make friends/acquaintances with the teacher that instructed me.
From afar she seemed super cool and I became pretty enthralled with her and her life. I would look forward so heavily to going to her classes every week and was quite intrigued by her. I thought she was funny, bubbly, spunky, cool, and always made jokes during class that made me laugh. As months went by I found myself wanting to get closer and closer to her, and she even invited me out one time to one of her “events” she was hosting. Here’s the thing;
It seemed like we had a lot in common and was just generally craving camaraderie and connection. I felt a sense of belonging with her and wanted to expand that energy in my life, and wanted to do anything I could to get closer to her for those reasons. But I guess this is where we have the first red flag;
One day after class, she extended an invitation to me to a meet up of sorts, (I’m being sparing with details just out of fear she might read this) and when she invited me it seemed like it was gonna be this big thing with lots of people invited, and just in general in talking to her it seemed as if she was very well connected and respected within her community, had lots of friends and connects, and I thought this was gonna be a huge thing that I was even lucky to be invited to. I was super stoked and exited about it.
However when the day of the event came, I was super tired and slow to getting up that morning. I figured I would just make my way over whenever I could since it seemed causal and like you could drop in whenever. I also figured there would be more than enough people that no one would really even notice my arrival or departure. (Plus, sometimes it’s chic to be fashionably late ;) ). Well…. I was most definitely wrong.
When I showed up I heard someone excitedly shout my name, which was her, and she waved me down to the “meet up”…. There was literally only one person there and it had been going on for 2+ hours. I was definitely a bit unnerved, but also didn’t want to be rude, and like I said I was just kind of happy to be there and be getting invited to things. But it was kinda like, damn…. Are these all the friends you have?
I had dressed up and looked cute but they were just kind of wearing whatever and I felt awkward and overdressed and also embarrassed now that I was even this late because it was clearly much more intimate than I expected and my arrival/absence was DEFINITELY felt. We had chatted a bit and that was cool but then I remember her confessing me that she had cried to her husband earlier that morning that she was scared nobody was going to show up and how thrilled she was that not only one, but TWO people had showed up and that it felt like she had friends. I wasn’t really sure what to say or make of that.
She also…. The whole time (and mind you, this is our first legitimate interaction out of yoga class) just kind of kept talking maniacally AT me, not to me, and was coming off almost even manic, and she had formed a white crust of spit around her mouth probably from talking so much that I couldn’t look away from. To say the least, I was a bit disturbed coming away from this interaction but I just kept telling myself that I was being too judgmental of her and to give it a chance and that maybe she was just hyper that day and that I had probably had unintentional embarrassing hygiene moments as well. So I keep going to class and that’s that.
There were several other red flag moments between this first interaction and the next one, mostly just her incredibly cringey social media presence that I genuinely almost couldn’t stand to see without feeling like I was withering away inside, but maybe I’ll save that for later. It’s almost like I couldn’t just see that the person I thought was so cool in class and the person I was seeing her be online and outside of class were the same people. But I digress.
She had actually ended up inviting me to go with her on one of her international yoga retreats, and I was actually very excited about this. I had very little time with her in between classes, and my attraction (but also repulsion) with her was growing stronger and I wanted to figure her out and see what she was really about and what the pull I was feeling towards her was about. Plus, I love travelling and just thought it would be fun.
I had a pretty good time, but we didn’t get to talk much, HOWEVER, I do remember this distinct point during the trip where it was myself, 2-3 other fiends I had made, her brother, and her “best friend” who had happened to be her brother’s Gf in a room together, talking. the brother, the best friend, and the other friend I made just all completely started talking shit about her and I was so confused.
I felt super hurt by this actually, bc I felt like I had a inexplicable bond with the teacher who had invited me, she was the reason we were all there in that beautiful place, and I just couldn’t understand why they were choosing to be so negative about someone I thought they had claimed (at least by title) to love. They would say things like “I can’t fucking stand your sister” (one of the friends I made to the brother) and everyone would just sigh and put their hands in their head and be like “I know…. I know. It’s a lot. She’s a lot”. And I didn’t have anything to add to the conversation because I was just so confused and I knew the girl would just be so upset if she heard them saying this. Anyway… that confusion stuck with me for a while after.
Fast forward maybe a month or two, I started hanging out with her more regularly myself outside of class. I would say this is when we became more “friends”. She would invite me to other teachers classes and we would talk a lot about our lives.
I learned how she felt about her close friend and family connections, and how she often felt hurt and betrayed by people close to her and how some of her friends were actually really shady. I just got a general sense of her feeling scapegoated and libeled against by ppl that got close to her and how she had walls up for that reason.
She also shared to me that most of her family was cut off, with the exception of her brother who she had recently rekindled a connection with, hence why he was on that trip. I felt very bad for her and wanted to be a source of comfort and support, and she would often comment on how she felt a sense of camaraderie with me since I also (LITERALLY) had no family and how we have to make our chosen family. This was a sweet sentiment, for sure, but I was still sussing out how I felt about her.
So one day, a mutual friend that had been on the trip with us was having a birthday party and I guess that she was invited to it, too. She sat down next to me and I was SUPER excited to see her as I was craving her energy and hadn’t seen her in some time. But then… idk. She had had a lot to drink. I’m fully aware that she’s kind of a quirky individual, and has a way of socializing which I can sometimes find a bit uncomfortable or even intense, (like the first meetup I spoke of) but this time it was even more and seemed to be heightened by the drinking.
Her husband was sitting on her other side and kept trying to interject and insinuate that maybe she was doing a bit much, but I think she was drunk enough to the point that she just found it funny and had no awareness of how she was coming off. There’s not even a way I can describe it really, but she just seemed a bit obsessive over me and kept making jokes that were literally not funny and seemed to have lost all ability to read the room. I also had noticed that she had only had TWO beers and was acting like this already which I found… really strange.
So at some point she goes to the bathroom, and I also get in line for the bathroom about 5 mins later. When I get up to the bathroom, she’s still in there, and there’s a line of about 2 or 3 people ahead of me. When she exits the bathroom she immediately spots me and rushes up to me and just starts… drunkenly spewing.
I can’t even remember what she was saying, but we were in a pretty high class establishment and I remember her gushing over me and was saying “I just want to let you know that I don’t really have friends or let people close to me in my circle but I just want to let you know that YOU are officially in my circle and you have earned friend status to me and I’ve let you in my circle…” or something like that. And I just kept thinking, who tf even says that??? I’m pretty sure the last time I checked that friendship is a two way street and it’s not just a title we bestow onto some “lucky” person and that’s that. Like girl… let ME decide if I want to be friends too first.
It was partially that, and also the way she was drunkenly spewing was so awkward and embarrassing bc I could tell all the other women in line were like who tf is this bitch and why is she saying all this weird stuff and like, does she even know you?? Lol. Just a very odd interaction which again, I kind of wrote off, but the unsettling feeling kind of just kept growing after that point.
Then, the time that I REALLY knew something was up came up about a month later, but there are still some key details of this story that are missing. Perhaps I will discuss them later.
SO. About a month later, she invited me last minute to this concert of sorts. When I got there, I was super excited to be there, the vibes were amazing and we were having so much fun. But she had definitely had a lot, A LOT to drink. I didn’t mind at first, because everyone there seemed severely under the influence, but she would just start randomly kind of lashing out at people in the crowd and she thought it was funny? She first loudly and audibly started making fun of some guys shoes in front of us, and was trying to laugh with me as if I would join in, but when his girl friend turned around and shot her a dirty look, she had the nerve to be self conscious and mad about it. She would loudly poke fun at other people in the crowd too, but not in a ha-ha way, just in a straight up mean and asshole way and I could not understand why she would even do that or why she thought that was funny.
Again, I kind of just awkwardly laughed and brushed it off. But when all was said and done and the concert was closing, she enthusiastically invited me back to go to her house and soak in her hot tub. I kept saying are you sure?? But she was like please, PLEASE come, we have weed, we’ll smoke you out and other things and I wanted to continue the vibes because it sounded fun. And then….. completely downhill.
I had arrived back at their place before she did, but as soon as I saw them go in I knocked. When I walked in, she was pale faced up on the floor, non verbal, pretty much motionless, and staring at the ceiling. I was like oh no… it seemed like she got a bit too much to drink. I waited patiently there for a few mins, unsure of what to do as I had just drove for 45 mins and I was still 25 mins in the opposite direction away from home.
I kind of just sat around, and hoped that she would sober up. I asked if she was drunk… she said no. She ran to her bathroom multiple times while her husband (a complete socially awkward case himself) tried to take care of her while she threw up. I asked her if she puked and she also said no. So I didn’t really know what to do. I was trying to offer support/ empathy but she just kept denying any claims of anything being amiss. Her husband left to pick up a pizza and I probably just should’ve left but I’m telling you I had no idea how to exit their house without making it weird or awkward. And I also was hungry. So I just stayed… and waited for the pizza.
What happened in those 20-30 mins, I don’t even know if I can fully explain. She just became… so FUCKING WEIRD. she clearly was embarrassed that I was seeing her drunk, and I think was trying to over compensate. But she just turned into an absolute freak show and I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life.
She started hoola hooping in my face, and making these weird gremlin faces and noises at me, fell to the floor, rolled round on the floor while continuing to make the noises, convulsed on the floor, but tried to do it in a funny way, tried to make an interpretive dance for me… I’ve truly never experienced something so uncomfortable in my life. I probably do sound like an asshole, but I swear you would just have to be there to see how a) gross and b) weird and actually scary it was. I was genuinely frightened.
I’ve never seen anyone act like that and I didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable or weird by showing her how clearly uncomfortable I actually was. so I just sat there and tried to laugh. But it probably came off as more of a grimace. And for the record, this woman is 33. I am 26. It was just. Obscene.
And she’s tried to act like and say multiple times that she’s like my “big sister”. Now I’ve seen a lot of drunk behavior, but not this. I wolfed down my pizza, and so did she, and she started to get even more philosophical and weird on me, showing me songs and art which were quite frankly some of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life, and I left as soon as I could.
I was so shaken and disturbed coming away from this, because like I said earlier, I thought she was a cool girl, but honestly her behavior and lack of control over herself completely terrified me. And it’s not like she was drinking liquor, it was just damn IPAs. And I just did not know what to do.
Some details I will try to add to this story, even though I know it’s monolithic at this point , is that 2 months prior to this she had gotten fired from the studio she worked at.
She had a mental breakdown during class because the manager was being mean to her, and he fired her on the spot. I remember being so angry with the owner, (honestly he IS a piece of shit human being) but I thought he was being sexist by calling her mentally unstable and I thought the way he handled things was unfair.
I went so far as to boycott the studio and completely remove myself from it in support of her and followed her to her new one. After the drunk #2 incident, I didn’t hang out with her very much, and only saw her during her class as I was locked into a certain number of classes I had paid for.
I remember her telling me that she had just started at ANOTHER studio, and got fired 3 days after on her birthday and she was talking about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole that new girl was for firing her… and I believed her. AGAIN.
I went so far as to block that girl on Instagram too, but deep down I kind of knew that she had probably just been fired bc let’s face it… as I was starting to discover, she WAS a lot. and the studio was in an upper class area , catered towards more upper echelon people, and I just don’t think she was fitting that image. I lent her an empathetic ear, because that’s all I would want in that situation.
But where she fucked up was sending me screenshot proof of the text exchange between her and that girl, thinking I would take her side, and later sending me screenshots of another conversation she had with the OTHER manager. She told me that this new girl fired her for bringing her husband to class. In my mind I was like, oh no, is she racist!?! Because her husband was black. But no, that’s not what I read at all.
It was the most reasonable, level headed response to someone ever, and laid out multiple offenses and reasons she didn’t want her at the studio. The reasons were honestly so embarrassing that I don’t know why she would send it to me and think I would side with her. She recently also sent me messages with the other boss and the last thing he says to her is “I hope you get help for your mental illness because whatever you have is serious and will impact all your relationships and business and things that you do”. And honestly I can now say in retrospect that those were the truest words ever spoken.
When I read these texts, I had a look back at my whole relationship with and how she would always paint everyone else to be the villain and how everyone is so mean to HER… and the whole time the common denominator was her. It was always her. And it made me rethink everything.
I’ve even had extensive conversations with some of the other people on her trip that were talking shit and couldn’t stand her and they all told me the same things. How it seemed like she was the coolest person ever and had her shit together and seemed like she was going places… but deep down she was just an absolute mess and pushed everyone away from her. And I no longer felt like I was going crazy.
But like I said, she formed a really close bond with me (I think from her perspective) and said she felt like my big sister and family, and shared all these stories about her feeling isolated and shut out by people, but now here I am, doing the exact same thing to her. Icing her out of my life. And I just wanna ask you guys…
Am the asshole?

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Anyone else in this personal hell limbo where you have hope it could work out but also hearing the words “divorce”?
I hate it.
My husband wants one but he’s been a bit flip/flop on it. He’s said it anger and didn’t mean it. Or kinda did. But now he seems to mean it. But then he backtracks and thinks if we make changes I proposed it’ll be better. But then I do one thing wrong and he’s back to wanting a divorce again. I said something I shouldn’t have…he told a coworker we were separating and I didn’t want him to and got mad but I interrupted him and he meant our plan to financially separate. He says I do things like that too often and he’s done this time.
I definitely think I shouldn’t have jumped the situation like I did. I’ve also noticed when I wasn’t in therapy we fought really bad and then we were fine throughout me being in therapy (for 2 years) and then my therapist left and I’ve been without and now we are fighting again. My part in this is eating at me.
I don’t want the change divorce brings. I’ve had way too much change. My soul cat died earlier this year. I got pneumonia. Animals I cat sit regularly have moved away. My other cat had to undergo expensive and scary treatment and she’s ill. My work is making me return to office twice a way and it was a hellscape and I hated it. Our finances have been horrible and we’ve been trying to figure out how to pay to go to my sisters wedding. Our car got a flat tire and they were too bald to be fixed so we had to buy new ones.
It’s just been a lot. I’m not good with change anyway but it’s been too much. And now a divorce? And one I can’t feel like I can accept.
Anyone else feel like this? Any advice to feel better? I feel like I’m being torn in 5 directions. There isn’t going to be any of me left after this year.

This is how I think the (F)Aegon plot could go down, based on some hints as well as some Tudor history.
I think we all know there's going to be a Dance of the Dragons sequel and it's probably going to be Dany vs our likely Blackfyre. What many are wondering is how that's going to go, and how Jon Connington is going to be involved.
How I figure it going is based a lot on how the reign of Jane Grey, the Nine Days Queen went. There's already a similar set up, with a large king known for overindulgence and not treating his queen(s in the historical case) well dying, and a boy king taking over before dying young (2 boy kings in this case, if Tommen doesn't survive Aegon B). The death of this boy king brings in the reign of a distant relation no one really considered before (with Jane Grey being a great-granddaughter of Henry VII and both the Baratheons and Aegon B having Targaryen ancestry) whose reign is nearly instantaneously challenged by a female claimant that was previously thought to be completely disinherited ("Bloody" Mary Tudor and Dany).
Depending on how long it takes Aegon B to make himself king, Dany could arrive relatively shortly after, giving poor Aegon B less than a week to enjoy the oh-so-comfy Iron Throne. I can see her overthrowing him pretty quickly with her dragons and whatever extra forces she brings, though she likely takes a while to decide on her death, only doing so when keeping him alive becomes too much of a problem, likely some sort of Wyatt's Rebellion analogue. Maybe they figure out she's technically still married to Hizdahr (assuming he survives that long) and freak out over a potential king from Slaver's Bay. Hizdahr's only interested in Dany for the power she gives him and has no interest in her romantically, and is also said to be fairly good looking, so he makes for a decent Philip of Spain.
Why I think he'll only last four days? A recent David Lightbringer video about Jon Connington was talking about how Aegon B's cyvasse game involved Tyrion's dragon making a move that would bring him "death in four" and it was speculated that this could foreshadow Aegon B dying (or losing his throne) after four days and calling him a potential "Four Days King" which immediately set off my Jane Grey alarm.
Given that bells are rung at the death of kings, this could very easily set off Jon Connington as he's always flashing back to the Battle of the Bells and wants to redeem himself from it by raising "Rhaegar's" son to the Iron Throne. Bells being rung at the moment of Aegon's death would probably be the thing that makes JonConn lose it completely and launch a full scale riot against Dany. His son/Rhaegar redemption is dead, he's got greyscale, he's got nothing to lose. The people of King's Landing would also be infuriated by the death of the noble young prince who saved them from the reign of the Lannisters by this scary foreign queen and her scary foreign soldiers and her scary dragons that are viewed as demons by the Faith and given that Westeros is currently going through a major religious revival including the resurrection of some notoriously anti-Targaryen/dragon groups...yeah. Aegon B could easily be seen as a noble young martyr in the same way some Protestants saw Jane Grey as a saintly young queen butchered by the mad bloody Mary and her eeevil Spanish husband.
During crowd control, as many suspect, Dany accidentally sets off the wildfyre caches most of the fandom assumes are still stashed all over King's Landing (or maybe ones Cersei herself installed, given all the wildfyre references around her), making most of the city go BOOM. JonConn leading the riots would also tie into his references about King's Landing burning down, or at least something major burning down in retribution for the Battle of the Bells.
This would more or less solidify Dany as the Mad Queen in the minds of the people, and was likely the plotline that D&D butchered in the final season but didn't even bother trying to make any sense. This is what would cause her to finally abandon her quest to become queen and lean into the more esoteric and magical side of what Quaithe and her visions have been telling her, mostly going north and roasting some Others, or potentially marrying one for a peace pact.
See this bit from ASOS:
“Like night and day, or ice and fire.”
“If ice can burn,” said Jojen in his solemn voice, “then love and hate can mate. Mountain or marsh, it makes no matter. The land is one,”
Yeah, throwing in another headcanon that what ends everything is ice (which Martin has said refers to the Others) and fire (which is Dany) coming together to make the land one and potentially even fixing the seasons, giving everyone a dream of spring to look forward to.
It sure ain't gonna be Jon Snow giving Dany the Dark Phoenix treatment.
While I'm on this Tudor thing, Dany being the rough Mary Tudor in this would also go well with all the Elizabeth I parallels Sansa has (redhaired young queen who's the daughter of a disgraced family line with a beheaded parent, partially being brought up by a manipulator who creeps on her [making Littefinger both Edward and Thomas Seymour here] while the step-mother figure who's supposed to protect her blames her...etc).

This is my third exposure ever. I’m currently staying at my dad’s apartment because my boyfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago, couldn’t afford another place to go, so I had to move back home to my dad’s apartment. There’s visible mold in the window sills, on the wall moulding above the carpet, and in the bathroom. I cleaned it off the window sills, use an air purifier, am taking binders, getting out of the apartment when I can, keeping the windows open all the time, having the fan running as much as possible, taking a bunch of alka seltzer gold (a functional medicine practitioner who specializes in mold detox advised this for brain fog), and am going to start going to the gym with my dad just to use the sauna there. I also eat a low fodmap diet, I don’t eat any mold-exacerbating foods, I take magnesium and a B-complex vitamin everyday. Unfortunately, the symptoms have still progressed.
I’ve also been applying for a lot of jobs here in the town he lives, have had a couple of interviews, but nothing has stuck. I turn 26 in a few months so I won’t have my dad’s insurance to be on anymore.
My symptoms are mostly cognitive/neurological and mental health related and have grown worse. At first, I did have random days where I would wake up with body aches. This mold exposure has been mostly cognitive, neurological, and mental health-related, as opposed to my first exposure, which was both physical and cognitive/neurological/extremely mental health-taxing. I started having intense suicidal thoughts (that uncontrollable depression that definitely feels like it’s not coming from me, if you know you know), paranoia, intense fatigue, insomnia, ton of anxiety, feeling like I’m vibrating internally, tremors, LOTS of trouble with focus and word recall, problems with memory, and sometimes muscle weakness in my legs. Obviously none of this is stuff I experience when I’m not in a moldy place.
I don’t have the money to move to another place, and I’m losing hope and motivation but I know I need to keep going and figure it out. I’m worried about my ability to even start a job with all of these symptoms, but am conflicted because I know I just need money to get out, and the job could just also offer another potential way to get out of the apartment more often. I’m scared of starting a job just to not be able to sustain it. I’ve asked all my friends if I could stay with them and none of them are able to have me. I live in California and I have a friend who lives in Santa Fe that would be down to have me visit/stay with them for a couple weeks, so it COULD be an option to move there (it is dry there in Santa Fe and I’m currently living in a beach town), but I don’t have another place lined up for after if I were to visit her and it feels like a huge jump/risk to move to another state with little money. I just don’t want to be without shelter.
I also don’t have a car. I was living in a walkable place before I was here at my dad’s. My dad and my brother don’t understand the mold symptoms and they think I’m a bit crazy, so I’ve stopped confiding in them about it, because my dad is just honing down on the fact that I need to get a job and move my life forward, and I totally understand his point of view (especially since he really doesn’t understand the mold thing at all), but he does not get the whole picture of what I’m going through and refuses to understand. Him funding any way out of this is not an option.
I’m just…scared. The cognitive and mental decline is so scary. And I’m young. I just want a normal 20-something life. If anyone has any ideas on what I could do, wants to talk, has words of encouragement even (I need a ton of that right now also because this is just…insane and I’m trying to hold on)…I would really really appreciate it.

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Wow, this one might me a long one.
So I moved to (undisclosed location) sometime in the beginning of last year. When I moved here I really had no friends but became heavily involved in this yoga studio I went to and slowly but surely started to make friends/acquaintances with the teacher that instructed me.
From afar she seemed super cool and I became pretty enthralled with her and her life. I would look forward so heavily to going to her classes every week and was quite intrigued by her. I thought she was funny, bubbly, spunky, cool, and always made jokes during class that made me laugh. As months went by I found myself wanting to get closer and closer to her, and she even invited me out one time to one of her “events” she was hosting. Here’s the thing;
It seemed like we had a lot in common and was just generally craving camaraderie and connection. I felt a sense of belonging with her and wanted to expand that energy in my life, and wanted to do anything I could to get closer to her for those reasons. But I guess this is where we have the first red flag;
One day after class, she extended an invitation to me to a meet up of sorts, (I’m being sparing with details just out of fear she might read this) and when she invited me it seemed like it was gonna be this big thing with lots of people invited, and just in general in talking to her it seemed as if she was very well connected and respected within her community, had lots of friends and connects, and I thought this was gonna be a huge thing that I was even lucky to be invited to. I was super stoked and exited about it.
However when the day of the event came, I was super tired and slow to getting up that morning. I figured I would just make my way over whenever I could since it seemed causal and like you could drop in whenever. I also figured there would be more than enough people that no one would really even notice my arrival or departure. (Plus, sometimes it’s chic to be fashionably late ;) ). Well…. I was most definitely wrong.
When I showed up I heard someone excitedly shout my name, which was her, and she waved me down to the “meet up”…. There was literally only one person there and it had been going on for 2+ hours. I was definitely a bit unnerved, but also didn’t want to be rude, and like I said I was just kind of happy to be there and be getting invited to things. But it was kinda like, damn…. Are these all the friends you have?
I had dressed up and looked cute but they were just kind of wearing whatever and I felt awkward and overdressed and also embarrassed now that I was even this late because it was clearly much more intimate than I expected and my arrival/absence was DEFINITELY felt. We had chatted a bit and that was cool but then I remember her confessing me that she had cried to her husband earlier that morning that she was scared nobody was going to show up and how thrilled she was that not only one, but TWO people had showed up and that it felt like she had friends. I wasn’t really sure what to say or make of that.
She also…. The whole time (and mind you, this is our first legitimate interaction out of yoga class) just kind of kept talking maniacally AT me, not to me, and was coming off almost even manic, and she had formed a white crust of spit around her mouth probably from talking so much that I couldn’t look away from. To say the least, I was a bit disturbed coming away from this interaction but I just kept telling myself that I was being too judgmental of her and to give it a chance and that maybe she was just hyper that day and that I had probably had unintentional embarrassing hygiene moments as well. So I keep going to class and that’s that.
There were several other red flag moments between this first interaction and the next one, mostly just her incredibly cringey social media presence that I genuinely almost couldn’t stand to see without feeling like I was withering away inside, but maybe I’ll save that for later. It’s almost like I couldn’t just see that the person I thought was so cool in class and the person I was seeing her be online and outside of class were the same people. But I digress.
She had actually ended up inviting me to go with her on one of her international yoga retreats, and I was actually very excited about this. I had very little time with her in between classes, and my attraction (but also repulsion) with her was growing stronger and I wanted to figure her out and see what she was really about and what the pull I was feeling towards her was about. Plus, I love travelling and just thought it would be fun.
I had a pretty good time, but we didn’t get to talk much, HOWEVER, I do remember this distinct point during the trip where it was myself, 2-3 other fiends I had made, her brother, and her “best friend” who had happened to be her brother’s Gf in a room together, talking. the brother, the best friend, and the other friend I made just all completely started talking shit about her and I was so confused.
I felt super hurt by this actually, bc I felt like I had a inexplicable bond with the teacher who had invited me, she was the reason we were all there in that beautiful place, and I just couldn’t understand why they were choosing to be so negative about someone I thought they had claimed (at least by title) to love. They would say things like “I can’t fucking stand your sister” (one of the friends I made to the brother) and everyone would just sigh and put their hands in their head and be like “I know…. I know. It’s a lot. She’s a lot”. And I didn’t have anything to add to the conversation because I was just so confused and I knew the girl would just be so upset if she heard them saying this. Anyway… that confusion stuck with me for a while after.
Fast forward maybe a month or two, I started hanging out with her more regularly myself outside of class. I would say this is when we became more “friends”. She would invite me to other teachers classes and we would talk a lot about our lives.
I learned how she felt about her close friend and family connections, and how she often felt hurt and betrayed by people close to her and how some of her friends were actually really shady. I just got a general sense of her feeling scapegoated and libeled against by ppl that got close to her and how she had walls up for that reason.
She also shared to me that most of her family was cut off, with the exception of her brother who she had recently rekindled a connection with, hence why he was on that trip. I felt very bad for her and wanted to be a source of comfort and support, and she would often comment on how she felt a sense of camaraderie with me since I also (LITERALLY) had no family and how we have to make our chosen family. This was a sweet sentiment, for sure, but I was still sussing out how I felt about her.
So one day, a mutual friend that had been on the trip with us was having a birthday party and I guess that she was invited to it, too. She sat down next to me and I was SUPER excited to see her as I was craving her energy and hadn’t seen her in some time. But then… idk. She had had a lot to drink. I’m fully aware that she’s kind of a quirky individual, and has a way of socializing which I can sometimes find a bit uncomfortable or even intense, (like the first meetup I spoke of) but this time it was even more and seemed to be heightened by the drinking.
Her husband was sitting on her other side and kept trying to interject and insinuate that maybe she was doing a bit much, but I think she was drunk enough to the point that she just found it funny and had no awareness of how she was coming off. There’s not even a way I can describe it really, but she just seemed a bit obsessive over me and kept making jokes that were literally not funny and seemed to have lost all ability to read the room. I also had noticed that she had only had TWO beers and was acting like this already which I found… really strange.
So at some point she goes to the bathroom, and I also get in line for the bathroom about 5 mins later. When I get up to the bathroom, she’s still in there, and there’s a line of about 2 or 3 people ahead of me. When she exits the bathroom she immediately spots me and rushes up to me and just starts… drunkenly spewing.
I can’t even remember what she was saying, but we were in a pretty high class establishment and I remember her gushing over me and was saying “I just want to let you know that I don’t really have friends or let people close to me in my circle but I just want to let you know that YOU are officially in my circle and you have earned friend status to me and I’ve let you in my circle…” or something like that. And I just kept thinking, who tf even says that??? I’m pretty sure the last time I checked that friendship is a two way street and it’s not just a title we bestow onto some “lucky” person and that’s that. Like girl… let ME decide if I want to be friends too first.
It was partially that, and also the way she was drunkenly spewing was so awkward and embarrassing bc I could tell all the other women in line were like who tf is this bitch and why is she saying all this weird stuff and like, does she even know you?? Lol. Just a very odd interaction which again, I kind of wrote off, but the unsettling feeling kind of just kept growing after that point.
Then, the time that I REALLY knew something was up came up about a month later, but there are still some key details of this story that are missing. Perhaps I will discuss them later.
SO. About a month later, she invited me last minute to this concert of sorts. When I got there, I was super excited to be there, the vibes were amazing and we were having so much fun. But she had definitely had a lot, A LOT to drink. I didn’t mind at first, because everyone there seemed severely under the influence, but she would just start randomly kind of lashing out at people in the crowd and she thought it was funny? She first loudly and audibly started making fun of some guys shoes in front of us, and was trying to laugh with me as if I would join in, but when his girl friend turned around and shot her a dirty look, she had the nerve to be self conscious and mad about it. She would loudly poke fun at other people in the crowd too, but not in a ha-ha way, just in a straight up mean and asshole way and I could not understand why she would even do that or why she thought that was funny.
Again, I kind of just awkwardly laughed and brushed it off. But when all was said and done and the concert was closing, she enthusiastically invited me back to go to her house and soak in her hot tub. I kept saying are you sure?? But she was like please, PLEASE come, we have weed, we’ll smoke you out and other things and I wanted to continue the vibes because it sounded fun. And then….. completely downhill.
I had arrived back at their place before she did, but as soon as I saw them go in I knocked. When I walked in, she was pale faced up on the floor, non verbal, pretty much motionless, and staring at the ceiling. I was like oh no… it seemed like she got a bit too much to drink. I waited patiently there for a few mins, unsure of what to do as I had just drove for 45 mins and I was still 25 mins in the opposite direction away from home.
I kind of just sat around, and hoped that she would sober up. I asked if she was drunk… she said no. She ran to her bathroom multiple times while her husband (a complete socially awkward case himself) tried to take care of her while she threw up. I asked her if she puked and she also said no. So I didn’t really know what to do. I was trying to offer support/ empathy but she just kept denying any claims of anything being amiss. Her husband left to pick up a pizza and I probably just should’ve left but I’m telling you I had no idea how to exit their house without making it weird or awkward. And I also was hungry. So I just stayed… and waited for the pizza.
What happened in those 20-30 mins, I don’t even know if I can fully explain. She just became… so FUCKING WEIRD. she clearly was embarrassed that I was seeing her drunk, and I think was trying to over compensate. But she just turned into an absolute freak show and I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life.
She started hoola hooping in my face, and making these weird gremlin faces and noises at me, fell to the floor, rolled round on the floor while continuing to make the noises, convulsed on the floor, but tried to do it in a funny way, tried to make an interpretive dance for me… I’ve truly never experienced something so uncomfortable in my life. I probably do sound like an asshole, but I swear you would just have to be there to see how a) gross and b) weird and actually scary it was. I was genuinely frightened.
I’ve never seen anyone act like that and I didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable or weird by showing her how clearly uncomfortable I actually was. so I just sat there and tried to laugh. But it probably came off as more of a grimace. And for the record, this woman is 33. I am 26. It was just. Obscene.
And she’s tried to act like and say multiple times that she’s like my “big sister”. Now I’ve seen a lot of drunk behavior, but not this. I wolfed down my pizza, and so did she, and she started to get even more philosophical and weird on me, showing me songs and art which were quite frankly some of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life, and I left as soon as I could.
I was so shaken and disturbed coming away from this, because like I said earlier, I thought she was a cool girl, but honestly her behavior and lack of control over herself completely terrified me. And it’s not like she was drinking liquor, it was just damn IPAs. And I just did not know what to do.
Some details I will try to add to this story, even though I know it’s monolithic at this point , is that 2 months prior to this she had gotten fired from the studio she worked at.
She had a mental breakdown during class because the manager was being mean to her, and he fired her on the spot. I remember being so angry with the owner, (honestly he IS a piece of shit human being) but I thought he was being sexist by calling her mentally unstable and I thought the way he handled things was unfair.
I went so far as to boycott the studio and completely remove myself from it in support of her and followed her to her new one. After the drunk #2 incident, I didn’t hang out with her very much, and only saw her during her class as I was locked into a certain number of classes I had paid for.
I remember her telling me that she had just started at ANOTHER studio, and got fired 3 days after on her birthday and she was talking about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole that new girl was for firing her… and I believed her. AGAIN.
I went so far as to block that girl on Instagram too, but deep down I kind of knew that she had probably just been fired bc let’s face it… as I was starting to discover, she WAS a lot. and the studio was in an upper class area , catered towards more upper echelon people, and I just don’t think she was fitting that image. I lent her an empathetic ear, because that’s all I would want in that situation.
But where she fucked up was sending me screenshot proof of the text exchange between her and that girl, thinking I would take her side, and later sending me screenshots of another conversation she had with the OTHER manager. She told me that this new girl fired her for bringing her husband to class. In my mind I was like, oh no, is she racist!?! Because her husband was black. But no, that’s not what I read at all.
It was the most reasonable, level headed response to someone ever, and laid out multiple offenses and reasons she didn’t want her at the studio. The reasons were honestly so embarrassing that I don’t know why she would send it to me and think I would side with her. She recently also sent me messages with the other boss and the last thing he says to her is “I hope you get help for your mental illness because whatever you have is serious and will impact all your relationships and business and things that you do”. And honestly I can now say in retrospect that those were the truest words ever spoken.
When I read these texts, I had a look back at my whole relationship with and how she would always paint everyone else to be the villain and how everyone is so mean to HER… and the whole time the common denominator was her. It was always her. And it made me rethink everything.
I’ve even had extensive conversations with some of the other people on her trip that were talking shit and couldn’t stand her and they all told me the same things. How it seemed like she was the coolest person ever and had her shit together and seemed like she was going places… but deep down she was just an absolute mess and pushed everyone away from her. And I no longer felt like I was going crazy.
But like I said, she formed a really close bond with me (I think from her perspective) and said she felt like my big sister and family, and shared all these stories about her feeling isolated and shut out by people, but now here I am, doing the exact same thing to her. Icing her out of my life. And I just wanna ask you guys…
Am the asshole?

I want to preface this as I love my current job. Not to give too much information out, but I am a manager of a collision repair facility for a large chain. I have been offered a position with another company albeit a step down, but with added benefits as well.
Again, I don’t want to give too much information out. Here are the layouts for the two companies and the pros/cons I can think of.
Company A (current position)
Pros - 6 figure salary base pay. Quarterly and Yearly Bonus ( 5 Bonus Opportunities not guaranteed).

• Unlimited PTO (now obviously have to show up and work, but can choose to not go in if the shop is performing well)
  
• Very large company, with a ton of growth potential above me, not currently in the market I am in, but nationwide can move and move up.
  
• love my job and the company, they have been nothing but great, and my team I have hired most people and turned a failing shop, into a profitable one.
  

Cons - Pay is not as much as it should be for the amount of stress and what I have to do. I have been told I have been put on a “starting salary, haven’t complained at all, but have been steadily building my resume to make it hard to say no to a significant raise.

• Bonuses which should be quarterly, are at this point 2 months after the quarter has ended and have not received. No sense of urgency above the shop level.
  
• Large company, so it comes with a lot of large company bs, meetings, corporate junk, just a lot of crap
  

Company B
Pros - 30k+ more per year, base salary is lower ($15k lower), but lots of bonus incentives that seem easily achievable given my knowledge and experience

• Smaller company, this is both a pro and a con. There is unfortunately no room for furthering my career unless someone steps down from their position.
  
• part of a dealership, so I know this is a short term thing. But I will be in the market. For a vehicle in the next few month, get incredible discounts on vehicles (high end vehicles)
  
• No corporate hassle of having a large company bear down on you with their might
  

Cons - Only two weeks PTO, now again, I just took my first vacation in 7 years two months ago at my current company, but, step down of course from unlimited PTO

• Pay, I listed this as a positive. But scary that so much of the money is not guaranteed and based on criteria to hit that could affect my pay if it something goes haywire.
  
• No job advancement opportunity
  

The collision industry is a lot like the IT or maybe other industries where there is quite a bit of job hopping. Back and forth. I have been in the industry for 13 years and have worked my tail off to be very… very good at my job. And no one can deny, because I have shown it.

So, this is going to sound incredibly selfish, but I just need to get this off my chest.
I am a single 35 yo guy, who for most of my life have been very independent. My parents were not particularly interested in me as a child although they were VERY loving. We knew we all loved each other, but had nothing in common. They rarely attended band performances, didn't volunteer, or include themselves in my life. This led me, I believe, to be very self sufficient. I live downtown in s major city, make over 6 figures, and generally do well for myself.
My younger brother, 30, is currently in prison on assault charges against his girlfriend. The two of them are the absolute most toxic pairing I've ever seen where they actively hurt each other, but cannot bear to be separated. They are both unemployed with no prospects and live in a combination of parents/friends houses and on the streets. They have a 2 year old that they do not, and cannot take care of, so it has fallen on my mother, the babys grandmother to raise the baby.
My dad died 2 years ago suddenly from heart failure and it's been really hard on everyone but worst on my mom, obviously. My dad was not able to leave us anything so I have been supplementing her income for the past 2 years. $500 here, $600 there, $300 when I can. If she needs time off, I'll take him for a few days at a time since I work from home and have a generally flexible schedule.
Unfortunately, I do not particularly like kids, do not want kids, and generally don't like to be around them but I absolutely LOVE my nephew. Since my Dad's passing my mother has been trauma dumping in me and has taken on a "I'm broken but have to do it for the baby" mentality. I feel absolutely gut wrenched for her, but lately, the trauma dumping has gotten worse.
This week, somehow both her and my aunt were diagnosed with Congestive Hear Failure (early and treatable/manageable with medication) and she's spiraling and trauma dumping again. The problem is, I can't seem to bring myself to really rally around her. I know it's scary and serious, but I just don't have any interest in the whole situation. I'm checking in with here and listening as she unloads, but behind it all, I'm just apathetic towards the whole situation.
I feel awful that I just can't be bothered, but also don't want to fake either. I'm feeling bad that I have no interest in taking my dad's place in the family and just generally want to be left alone. I KNOW this sounds selfish but it's the way I feel. The path I see this going is they are going to ask me to raise my nephew and I have ZERO interest in doing so and it terrifies me to think I may have to. Like a child is being forced upon me and I'm the asshole for not stepping up.

Background: I always figured I had mild IBS, and never tolerated lactose (like, even with lactaid). I had an allergic reaction after getting a Covid booster shot which left me with dermographism and a seemingly related gluten intolerance (I'm def not an anti-vaxxer btw, I'm just in the lucky 1% of folks with a bad reaction to the booster and I took the booster way too close to a bad case of Covid - all of this verified by an allergist). Wondering now if the gluten intolerance was IMO related (it causes MASSIVE boat). My depression also reared its head again around this time, and has continued until today. Fast forward 1 1/2 years after the new gluten intolerance: a terrible bout of medication prompted constipation and overflow diarrhea. It left me with on and off symptoms of both even after stopping the meds. 6 months later and 4-5 weeks into low FODMAP i finally get diagnosed with IMO at around a peak of ~40 ppp 15 minutes after a glucose drink.
My doctor is recommending the two antibiotics in tandem, but I'm wondering if doing an ED is better? The risk of hearing loss is... scary. Fishing for thoughts on both options (did my homework and read stuff in the thread, but hoping for new voices with similar levels of methane at ~40). If you did the antibiotic route, what did you eat during this time?
Also, I'm wondering if maybe I was already experiencing die off due to 4-5 weeks of low Fodmap diet? Is that even possible?
After doing more research, I'm also planning to stop my daily Pepcid AC, (if doing antibiotics) fasting between meals, and avoiding complex carbs and sugars.
I also have an eating disorder, so this is going to be a real challenge! But I'm up for it. Figure I will need to incorporate a nutritionist as well because of this.

I currently identify as nonbinary femme (they/she pronouns) and was amab
Some quick background: This past year I decided to finally do some exploration around my gender after a life time of hints that I wasn't cis (some of which include always choosing women avatars when possible, most close friends being women, resenting the fact I was assigned male at birth, randomly becoming deeply distraught that I wasn't born a woman), and after being out to my friends for this time and exploring, decided I to identify as non-binary (I feel more like an alien than a woman, though being a woman is 100% preferable to being a man) and to move forward with hrt about a month ago (still stealth at work currently though).
Currently I am taking 2mg estradiol twice per day (no t blockers or anything yet because I am trying to take things as they come, but they aren't off the table for the future), and so far have begun to feel some of the effects I have heard about and hoped for; MUCH less fog in my brain, and my baseline mood is honestly just much better. However, I think because my brain fog has cleared, I am much more aware of how fucking terrified I am about how my transness will affect my external experience, especially once the changes become impossible to not notice. I now often feel anxious about losing my job/not being able to find a new job if I don't pass (and how that affects getting hrt), how my relationship with my partner might change as I am no longer just socially transitioning but medically as well, and the political climate also making these things more scary and dangerous as well.
Additionally, there was a part of me that sorta assumed that once I started, I was going to realize I was 100% a woman (which I was ready for if it happened), but if anything I feel MORE non-binary in the sense that presenting masc because of laziness/convenience doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I do prefer presenting more androgynous/femme, so that hasn't changed, but I just also feel more fine dressing masc now which has been quite surprising.
I guess my question is has anyone else here experienced any similar gender confusion when first starting hrt, despite it having great effects mentally? Is this general genderfuckery/legitimate trans fears that you learn to just deal with, or will things be totally different in a year once I am more used to it? Or is this more just me being an anxious/repressed fuck? Thanks in advance for reading and to anyone who replies with tips/anecdotes/advice, I am sorry if this is ramble-y or incoherent, I don't have any trans friends (or many friends at all really) so figured it was time to stop lurking and hopefully change that.