I am not a typical Redditor so please forgive me if the info isn’t up to par to others.
A little about me first, I have had no female intimate experience in my life, not even one of those middle school “relationships” or anything close. I grew up as a chubby kid and stayed big all the way into early college, and caught little to no one’s interest. As a result I’m decently oblivious to certain cues and signs woman can give. I lost 100 pounds recently and am honestly looking substantially more attractive. In this new form, I’ve noticed it’s easier to make friends with new people and have interests from women especially. I also am a big overthinker, so this conflict has been revisited in my head at random times for almost two weeks.
This woman and I have just graduated college together in the same major. We have known each other for just this last semester, being randomly paired for our group senior design project with two others. She sometimes during our time working together would be talking to me, asking questions about me(she always thinks I give funny or interesting answers), and joking with me. We became good friends bc of our common interest in fashion. She worked for a fashion magazine on campus, would model and design clothing lines in it. She lets me know about fashion shows in town she could get me a seat at and also would invite me to her friend’s parties which I love! We also share the same life milestones right now; relating in difficulties of finding our first career job.
Towards the end of the semester I thought I might have had a slight interest in her, but I would notice she never gave me definite signs of interest that could make it past my oblivious brain. Not feeling too strong for her anyway, I just thought “we’re friends only” and stuck with it. I even began to go as far as develop an interest in her dual close friend and roommate, texting the roommate frequently in the end of the semester. However, her roommate-friend started to text less, I now think because she might have spoken up to the roommate about me, calling dibs or something with girl code.
She asked to come to the graduation ceremony together and sit with me. At the time I thought she were just coming as a friend to crack jokes with in the ceremony, even high fiving her at the end of it. I thought we were going to part ways at night as she seemed to want to meet some of her friends at a club and I was certain I was going to drink at bars with my roommates. She ended up deciding to come with my group and I to the bars with her other friend(not her roommate). We pregamed some and hit the town, buying both of them a drink once inside. After a while of dancing, we sat down and a guy came to talk to her. She started holding my hand, rubbing my hand with her thumb. Having two older sisters I thought may be it was a self defense tactic that I had to play along with. That wasn’t it because the rest of the night we would be holding hands and even cuddling up to me when watching TV at my house after. All of this really blindsided me.
This is when the conflict in me began. I really liked her friendship and was fine as friends, but her hand and physical touch felt good to have. I’m not sure if it’s my history of lack of attention from women or if I really enjoy her intimate presence specifically. I do like her personality but I have a history recently of being very picky appearance wise. I look at her IG and just am not that excited by her looks. Definitely is not my typical ideal type.
Since then we’ve gotten together twice; to watch a movie and to go for walk at night downtown. During which we still only hold hands and talk like normal to each other. On our walk, I asked her how she was thinking about us continuing to hold hands and act this way to each other. She flipped it on me first and I said “it blindsided me that night, not in a bad way, just surprise. I worry though because things like this grow and eventually die where both people never speak again. I don’t want to ever have each other on a blocked list because of something like this”. I asked what she thought, she said something like “I think it’s something that just grew naturally closer. I find myself getting drawn to you, you make me feel safe and protected, and I don’t have to be someone I’m not around you.” The seriousness of the conversation died after, and I don’t think we learned too much of our thoughts of our coming future from it.
I am not sure how I feel about her. Physical attraction is a huge deal for me. Part of me wants to tell her to just be friends because of my high standard and the fact that she’s such a cool person so we’d not have to risky a bad ending from a relationship. I also wonder if I really like her because my gym crush still catches my eye(I’ll never go up to her there obviously) and her roommate-friend still does also. However, I also fear if I friend her, I’ll miss spending time with her often AND the feeling of physical touch. Worst of all, I fear friending her will cause her to ghost me anyway, bye bye joking around, and the fashion and friend event invites.
I know right now she’s liking me more than I like her romantically. She’s leaving for a month in about a week or two from now. I could explore her romantically to see if I could overcome this initial lack of physical attraction in this time. Then, While she’s gone, reflect on if I like HER or the only the TOUCHing and ATTENTION from her. However, if I lead her on more, there’s even less of a chance i can pick up the pieces and rebuild the original friendship after. If I carefully and respectfully friend her now, there’s better odds we still have our friendship and I can always keep looking for a woman who is more my ideal type.
Any advice on this?
Yes I know, I’m rubbing off as shallow with my emphasis on attraction, that’s how my life and history growing up shaped me.

Hi, I'm a 21M from the UK.

Synopsis:

IBS has ruined my life. I have been suffering with extremely severe IBS for a little 3 years now, also diagnosed with GAD (Anxiety) to go along with it. I had to leave my last job due to the symptoms making me bed ridden for multiple days per week, my new job (3 months in) is starting to take the same turn with this last 1.5 months being a nosedive in terms of trajectory.
My symptoms:

• Severe abdominal cramps
• Rare, but occasional vomiting (usually bile)
• Diarrhea
• Anxiety
• Insomnia
• Acid reflux

I dread waking up every day knowing that it'll more than likely be another day of extreme pain and constant bathroom visits. It nearly always starts first thing in the morning (within 5 mins of waking) as intense nausea and abdominal pains. Sometimes it will pass after a few hours, other times it will be a solid 12-14 hours of suffering. It's been completely debilitating and it's massively stumped my development in terms of; health, social, financial etc.
One weird observation I've noticed is that what time I wake up massively affects it. When I wake up early (6-8am) I nearly always have severe symptoms, 60-80% of the time (regardless of how much sleep I get). But when I wake up later such as weekends (9-11am) I get symptoms a lot less often, ~10% of the time (even if I'm massively under-slept). There doesn't seem to be any other variable that affects it, other than the time I wake up.

1st Job:

I worked an Admin job for a Electrical company for just under 2 years, the last year of which is when I my IBS revealed itself for the first time in my life. It started in full swing. Extreme pain, constant diarrhea, vomiting and I was bed ridden for 2 weeks straight at first. Overtime I learnt to live with it a bit better and managed to make it into work 70-80% of days, but that is not acceptable for an employer (understandably). Eventually things got worse again and I had to leave that job to take 3 months to really focus on my health, things went great during this time, I finally started to feel like a normal functioning human being again. So I started applying to jobs again, after about 2 months of searching I landed my new job.

Doctors/Hospital:

In terms of doctors; I've been in and out of the doctors almost bi-weekly throughout this. I have been trialed on many medications (Propranolol, Sertraline (Lustral), Citalopram (Cipramil), Lansoprazole, Pro Biotics). I have had an ultra sound scan, too many blood tests to count, 5-6 stool samples and I have also had a full endoscopy which identified some major damage to my Esophagus due to the imbalances in my stomach causing acid reflux.

Present Day (2nd Job):

This brings us to present day. I'm working in an admin adjacent role again (been here for just under 3 months). But things have started to take a serious turn again (in the last 4-5 weeks). 4-5 times per week I'm waking up in extreme pain and end up being completely bed ridden. This has bread more anxiety and insomnia, in turn making the symptoms worse. It almost feels like a self feeding cycle that's impossible to break because the foundation of it is the IBS which doesn't seem to improve whilst I'm working. I can just see history repeating itself and I'm terrified of the entire situation, I want to live my life, I want to be able to save up money and experience what life has to offer but I feel that I may never get to see that with this going on. I desperately need any help or guidance that can be offered.
I'm currently doing the following to help:

• Meditation
• FODMAP guidance
• Food diary
• Plenty of water
• Reduced caffeine (1-2 cups of black coffee per day)
• Reduced carbonated drink intake
• Doctors visits (Blood tests due next week, stool samples due next week)

Any advice, help, previous stories of similar experiences etc. is massively appreciated. I'm currently terrified, I have extreme anxiety everyday about how I can see my life falling apart in front of my eyes and I feel helpless.
Thank you for reading.

I’m going to try and explain this as best I can with as much detail as I can… sorry for the long post.
My best friend was diagnosed with diabetes type 1 in 2018. It was sad and awful and I was included in her glucose monitor app to be sure I could check on her if something went wrong and I did. Every time my phone would beep and alert me. I would make sure she had juice or make sure I know what to do with a high giving her insulin. I learned what to do to be there for her. I drove to her house multiple times(over 50) throughout the years to be sure she was okay. I wanted nothing more than to be sure she was healthy and safe.
Forward to 2024, I was diagnosed with a different autoimmune disease. RA and RV. Because of that I have also been dealing with the things that can be caused by RA. I’ve had painful flares, I’ve been diagnosed with dry eyes, had to get glasses, I have to see a GI doc on top of a rheumatologist, I have my general doc I see, I can hardly get out of bed some days and have severe pain which caused me to go on disability from my dream job… all within the last 4 months. I’m waiting to get on a treatment plan once I see all of the docs and they work together. I have to be careful with my diet, I can’t stress myself or my body too much(yeah, right?! Haha) but I make the best of it. It won’t keep me down. I don’t complain all the time, I haven’t cried, I haven’t asked for help, I haven’t craved attention. If anything I want to not have people ask me about it because it doesn’t define me. I won’t let it take me down.
Suddenly in the last month, my best friend is having my same symptoms, literally verbatim. Joint pain, stomach pain(RV related), swollen joints, unable to get out of bed and now she is having eye issues. (We’ve been best friends for 14 years and see each other at least 3-4 times a week and she’s never said a word of this to me). This is just a cliffs notes. If she asks about my day and I say “I’m good, my hips and shoulders are hurting and the pain is radiating but I’m good. I walked around the block to get in a good headspace.” She will text me back that every joint in her body hurts. She drove me to my eye appt because I had to have my eyes dilated, I was diagnosed with the dry eye due to the RA and suddenly she says she needs readers and her eyes are nothing her(I drove her to her eye appt a month prior and her eye doc said her eyes are completely fine and healthy). She complains about my symptoms more than I say about mine. It came out of nowhere. She’s never told me about these issues before. She’s never mentioned anything like this. I’ve been hospitalized, in and out of doctors offices 5-6 times a month for months on end now. I don’t want it. I don’t want any part of it and I won’t let it run my life. Why do I feel like she wants to be the “sick” one? I don’t mind. Be the sick one. I won’t be. I’m doing everything I can for me and my daughter to fight this and get on a treatment plan but I feel like I can’t say a word to her without her one upping me and then making it her life. How does she suddenly have the same exact symptoms I have? How does she suddenly have the pain I have? How does she suddenly have the same ailments? I know once you have an autoimmune disease that you are susceptible to more but this is just insane to me. It makes me not want to confide in my best friend. She’s an amazing person with an amazing heart but… if she wants the fame for the autoimmune then I’m not sure how to communicate with her without lying. If she wants to do something and I literally can’t…. I can’t. Yet she’ll say she feels the same way and worse but she wants to go do something. I’m not sure what to do or what to think. Any advice?

The Undying King, the evil lich-god Vecna plots to unravel and remake the multiverse to his own design, and the three most powerful archmages in all of Dungeons and Dragons need your help to stop him.
This adventure sees players from level 10 to 20 travelling across multiple locations throughout the multiverse to rebuild the Legendary Rod of Seven Parts and learning all they can to finally stop Vecna and his evil designs.
First session, early bird booking for the first 2 players, get in for 50% off.
https://startplaying.games/adventure/clwp8r8g10013x5x6sr4pn72s

I always find it difficult to maintain eye contact with females while talking, somehow i feel nervous or extra conscious that i might end up glazing over their parts etc, even though thats never the intention & i respect them for who they are. Even when i try to keep my focus on the face, i keep wandering over the small details of the face like brows or some pimples or acne etc I was a photographer , hence attention to details comes naturally ,& partially ocd too so a small pimple does create stress in my head but obviously i want to avoid an embarrasing situation with friends & coworkers.

I joined burn almost three months ago and have been loving the classes for the most part - minus partner days because I don’t know anyone there and it seems like everyone has their buddy partner so I’m like living the middle school odd kid out moment last to be picked. I have gotten sick twice though since joining with really bad colds after years of never being sick for more than a day or so. Both of these colds have taken me down and out for multiple days (currently at a week). Has this happened to anyone else? It’s the only change in my life I can sum it up to… just curious if others have experienced the same thing.

This is both a vent and question for the community.
Yesterday was one of multiple firsts. I responded to a one-off posting via a childcare app for an afternoon shift. Both parents WFH, but I figured I could make the cluster better for us all by taking NK out to either one of the nearby playgrounds or libraries within their neighborhood.
NOPE. MB requested I remain inside, in NK’s room, until she and DB “get to know me.” OK, a bit paranoid, but to each their own I guess and I was willing just once if it meant a good ad hoc relationship going forward. Still, I wasn’t comfortable.
During nap time time, DB asked me personal questions about where I grew up and over shared about his life (not going into specific in case he sees this). Made a bizarre popping noise with his mouth while working less than 10ft away from me in the living room.
Once NK woke, DB led me (…???) into NK’s room to “start play time.” This was when he pointed out the multiple nanny cams. Only about three hours into the job was I informed.
Although I understand it’s their right to have them and many of us on this sub are used to working around nanny cams, this is completely new to me. With both NPs WFH and the cameras…the surveillance was sickening to me. I couldn’t relax. While I pushed through the afternoon as best I could, I did not at all feel trusted and kind of lost my ability to strike a little bond with NK. I felt a bit scared, and even a day later I am still unsettled.
Does anyone else’s stomach drop when confronted with multiple “eyes” on you?

I want to talk about Commander as a format. More specifically, I want to talk about how many of the ban philosophies outlined in the format don't seem to translate well into current choices on the ban list, what cards are the offenders, and why it even matters to begin with.

Part 1: Rule Zero

To start things off, I really just want to get this out of the way. Rule Zero is essentially a blanket statement that says players are allowed to change rules as they see fit if they can agree on it. Great. That's all well and good. This should be kept in the back of our minds for our local friend groups to keep the games fun. My play group does this and it makes the game infinitely better for us.
Games are defined just as much by what you can do as what you cannot. Turning on Motherlode cheat in Sims changes it from a strategy game to a sandbox game. Aces going both ways in poker opens up more avenues for straights and changes what hands are even playable. People playing Legacy but not wanting to take out a mortgage is how we got Pauper. As the rules change, the game does as well. When you and your friends decide to use a non-legendary card as a Commander, or allow 95 card decks, or allow silver-bordered cards, you are progressively straying further from the game design of Commander. Rule Zero is a lot of things and applying it can add more fun and creativity to the game and even help create entirely new formats; but there's one thing Rule Zero isn't, and that's Commander.

Part 2: Why the ban list matters.

WotC messes up sometimes and prints cards that are too strong. Other times, cards age too well. In my experience, NOTHING kills a game faster than a Tier 0 format. It doesn't matter if we're talking about Meta Knight/Bayonetta in Smash Brothers, Kassawin in League of Legends, or Oko in Standard. It creates a stale game-play loop that rewards luck elements (dice roll, topdecks) more than skill. Variety is the spice of life and in games with a competitive element to them, if only one thing wins, your spice is nothing more than low-sodium salt.
In simple terms, ban lists save us from ourselves. When something is so powerful or oppressive that it warps the entire game around it, a ban is a great way to re-open game-play and allow for players to bring a wider variety of strategies to the table with a reasonable chance at success. You may not care about winning or losing, but we all care about playing and that is something a smart ban list helps facilitate; the ability to play the game.
For Commander, it seems like the RC wants to have their cake and eat it too. Every time I see somebody from the RC in an interview pressed about inaction on certain cards, or when they make a post on their website in response, they just deflect to rule zero. So, they want to have their format, but the second the community brings up an issue with it, the response is to just: go play by rule zero, which as we established is effectively a different game? They want to be a relevant voice in the community, they want to want to structure the game, but at the same time, want to waive all responsibility of issues with the format they've developed? That's just not how it works. Like it or not, regardless of their affiliation (or lack of) with WotC/Hasbro, their rules are standard across the board. It's what new players look to when playing. It's what LGS's enforce. It's what CEDH players follow. It's what WotC's sponsored Commander events and structure decks support. When you sit down with new players at your LGS, you never worry about getting Time Walked because everybody knows that card is banned. Regardless of what they say, they are the de-facto authority on the format and when you sit across from a group of strangers, it's the rules we all inherently agree upon.
Have you ever seen the episode of South Park where the kids get weapons from a flea market, pretend they're ninja, and start playing a pretend poweweapons/ninja game? A point of tension arises when Cartman keeps adding powers, making him OP, and the whole friend group gets mad at him and makes him stop because it's ruining their game. Later, during the end of the second-act; the boys encounter another group of kids, also playing the poweweapons/ninja game. At the time, the boys are trying to locate another character and don't have time to keep playing. Cartman's proposed solution? Allow him to have all his powers back so he can just end the game. The same thing applies here. Constraints keep the game fun. Constraints keep the game playable. Lack of constraints end the game. I'll say it again: The commander RC is the de-facto authority on the format and when you sit across from a group of strangers, it's the rules we all inherently agree upon. As long as we're all still following the Commander RC, it's their job to keep the game going.

Part 3: The philosophy of certain banned cards.

The Commander RC is pretty clear on why each card is banned and there's several I want to highlight. I will be providing a list of the cards I found the most interesting as well as a copy/paste of the blurb regarding it. If you want to double-check for accuracy, you can find it all yourself here.
Ancestral Recall; Black Lotus; Moxes; Time Walk : [Card name] was originally banned for poor optics, rather than power level. While it’s plenty powerful, it’s the effect on perceived barrier-to-entry that really posed a problem because casual players watching Commander games in passing could reasonably assume that they needed hundreds (now thousands) of dollars in Power-9 mana as table stakes, just to join the format. [Card name] was an iconic and expensive card at the time it was banned, and removing it from the card pool was intended to combat the notion that Commander is a prohibitively expensive and inaccessible format.
Channel; Fastbond: 1) Higher life totals make the damage essentially trivial if this is played in the early game; 2) Players always have something to do with the mana (eg. cast their commander). [Card name] often catapults its controller ahead by producing huge amounts of mana and landfall triggers.
Golos, Tireless Pilgrim: There are many problems with the card, but the greatest is that in the low-to-middle power level tiers where we focus the banlist, Golos is simply a better choice of leader for all but the most commander-centric decks. Its presence crushes the kind of diversity in commander choice which we want to promote.
Library of Alexandria: Library was for a long time considered the 10th piece of power in Vintage play. Like those, it was banned to avoid the perceived-barrier-to-entry, but was strong enough to be a candidate for banning even without the optics – especially in long games where the card draw yields inevitability over time. Combined with its colorless nature, allowing it to go into every deck, and the occasional difficulty for inexperienced players to realize that Library is the reason they’re losing, its place on the banned list is very secure.
Paradox Engine: Paradox Engine can be played in any deck, and creates large amounts of mana at little-to-no deckbuilding cost. Its play patterns often involve long, drawn-out turns of tapping and untapping permanents, drawing cards, and generally monopolizing the chess clock of a game.
Rofellos, Llanowar Emissary: Rofellos is unique in its ability to consistently provide access to 6 mana on turn 3 as a commander, regardless of which cards are played in the rest of the deck. This card is banned for doing too much too fast, with minimal deckbuilding restrictions.
Sylvan Primordial: Sometimes considered an attempt to “fix” Primeval Titan, Sylvan Primordial ended up being just as bad and sometimes worse. It can only get Forests, but accelerates by 2-3 lands while knocking other players even further behind. Often flickered out to repeat the effect, the resulting “Mana Gap” is usually insurmountable, and Sylvan Primordial is yet another example of a card which looks fun for the builder but makes games repetitive.
I'm seeing a pattern here. A consistent philosophy of being conscious of player budget, recognizing life costs are not a significant cost in this format, promoting a wide variety of options rather than having every deck play the exact same staples, promoting deck identity, a rejection of excessively high starting-game speeds, and even a direct admission of focusing on mid-level play.

Part 4: The Power 7(+) of Commander.

I really want you to keep that last paragraph in mind for this entire section and again for each card as you go through.
Mana Crypt. Jeweled Lotus. Mox Opal. Chrome Mox. Mox Diamond. Mana Vault. Ancient Tomb.
I ask you, which one of these cards doesn't offend the guiding principle of "combating the notion that Commander is prohibitively expensive." Which of these cards doesn't "do too much, too fast with minimal deckbuilding restrictions."? Which of these cards doesn't spit in the face of "diversity in choice we want to promote." How does allowing these cards to stay in the game service the "low to middle level power tiers"?
I was just looking at my decks, and you know what I realized? If I had these cards, I'd never play Fellwar Stone again. What kind of moron would play that when Jeweled Lotus exists? Why would I bother playing any Talisman, Signet, or Locket ever again? It seems like all my specific mana rocks and forms of ramp go out the window because all those slots would be better spent here, allowing me to just dump my entire hand turn 1, play my commander and a fat draw spell, and then I'm a million miles ahead of my opponent. Why should I have to wait until turn 2 to play my ramp, to realize a turn 4 play on turn 3 when I can do it on turn 1?
Can anybody here honestly say that (outside of some very specific use-cases) they wouldn't play at least 5 of these in every deck they would build if not for the fact it would cost you over $500?
I think there's more cards to bring up. Gaia's Cradle, Serra's Sanctum, Dual Lands, Dark Ritual, Lion's Eye Diamond, and Sol Ring aren't without their sins, but I think the generic artifacts are better examples of my point.

Part 5: What do I even want?

Contrary to what you might assume from this post, I actually really like CEDH in its current state. I think it needs to be promoted. I think we need to celebrate it. I think we need to have WotC sanctioned CEDH events frequently. A high-powered CEDH tournament really shows off the power of the cards in the game like no other format and is a great showcase of all the coolest combos that have been built up over the decades. CEDH is part of the future of Magic: The Gathering and it's insane to me that it's only been supported for about a year.
My problem is that CEDH, like a rule zero game, is not Commander. They're separate formats. The only difference between CEDH and a rule zero game is that there's no structure separating CEDH from Commander all while the cards that elevate a Commander deck to CEDH level are legal in Commander, are prohibitively expensive, are able to be ran in every deck, ramp us to the moon and back, and occupy slots that would otherwise be taken by deck-specific ramping solutions. CEDH exists in Commander and that's my problem.
I want an acceptance of responsibility and consistency. I want the community's concerns to stop being silenced with the thought-terminating cliche' of "hurr durr rule zero". This isn't just a game you play between rounds at an event anymore. It is the most popular format in Magic. It's so popular we're making MODERN THEMED Commander decks (Should have been Modern precons to make the format more accessible, but I digress). There are thousands of dollars in prizes in events that use this ban list. There are thousands of games played every day that use this ban list as the default. Even where rule zero could apply, frankly, don't want to take the time to quibble about which cards are broken and which ones aren't. Then fighting through the logistics of finding cards that x player doesn't agree with and finding a suitable swap, all because we all have differing opinions on what is offensive versus what isn't.
We need a clear cut distinction between what is Commander and what is CEDH. We need a rules set that is consistent. You can't write out an entire ban list citing prohibitive financial costs, ramp, lack of relevant life total cost, and overly generic staples as reasons why you ban cards and then leave freaking Mana Crypt unbanned.
In a perfect world, we'd add these CEDH staples to the current Commander ban list, and then use the current ban list (and maybe unban some stuff) for CEDH.

For the past few months we were going through a lot of tension and not being the best at times. We ended up doing long-distance due to my studies for 2 years which was horrible but we would visit when we had the time and money.
In December my GF had two family member's become seriously ill and unfortunately die. During that time I was visiting my family/ studying for a large exam and was unable to visit her to support her how she wanted. I tried to call as much as possible and always be there for her whenever she needed to talk. However, I would just say "unfortunately this is life", I know it is not the nicest thing to hear, I was just trying to be supportive and I don't know thats just how I view life. As time progressed things just started to get tense. She came to visit me in March and at first it was super awkward because I guess we had some things to talk about. One night whilst we were sleeping I went to check my phone for the time and I noticed she had a message from a friend and the first words were my name so I read it and to my dismay it more or less said "BF can go F-himself who cares about how he is feeling or what he did to try and help, you do not need to tell him how you are feeling or your thoughts on this. Just dump him and be happy." Which personally killed me and we ended up having a big discussion about what we both want and how we feel about each other. In my opinion it was a good conversation with progress and honestly. As the trip came to an end we spoke again about what we want for the future and she left. About 3 weeks later I ended up travelling to where she lives (USA) because both my Grandparents ended up going to the hospital one day apart. During the time we were apart we would talk and sometimes just growl at each other over FaceTime over the dumbest of things. Me with my insecurity of what her friends were saying and her feeling like I am not being forthcoming about by desires (Which I really was).
Once I travel to the US and visit my GF the next day she wants a break for about 4-5 days and it was agonising for me because I truly love this girl and just was not expecting it. After that we talk and things are rocky and GF tells me how she isnt excited about the future of getting married and doesn't know how she feels about us and that only time will tell. She was honest and it was hard, she thought about breaking up but desided not to. By this point I told her that I was moving back start of June and I wanted to make it work and see how that would go. She originally had said she didnt want me to live with her, which really sucked. After our break I would come over and we would hang out and sometimes she was happy and sometimes she was in a bad mood. To me it felt like she wanted me as a BF when it was convenient for her. It got to the point where she said I was being overbearing by coming over to visit her and I told her you know what I don't care anymore. I am going to stop trying. She had a full blown panic attack and was like I'm sorry for how I have been acting toward you. I felt bad and didn't want to see her like that. We ended up talking about it and just sitting and saying we should try to just take it easy and if there is something bothering us talk about it and not let it fester. Things truly felt like they were getting back to normal, we were laughing smiling, being honest etc. Not perfect on tract to being better. We planned some activities for her birthday, a family trip, me living with her (after some discussion) and other things too. She wanted me to extend my stay and move as fast as possible.
Unfortunately it came time for me to move back to where I have been leaving to pack up. I was returning in 3-4 weeks due to having to figure out my lease. The first week apart was normal we spoke, laughed, did our usual. She then called me one day freaking out feeling depressed and not knowing what to do. I felt it was burn out and tried to console her and listen to her as best I could. Things were fine following this, I just tried to make sure that she was okay and if there was anything bothering hestressing her I could do my best. Then a few days after she ended up visiting her friends (One of which is the one I mentioned above who just told her to not even consider my feeling or telling me hers). The next day after visiting the friend my GF asked me "If I was still fine with moving to the US" (We had a point of contention about this and me coming to the realisation that I do and am fine living there). So we started talking about it and it somehow ended up turning into a fight over I have no idea. I blurted out that she shouldn't just listen to her friends and make choices on her own and she went into super defensive mode. I ended up shooting at her because I was mad and I was trying to be apologetic following this. I left her alone for the day and felt guilty so we ended up speaking and she told me that she feels bad because she doesn't want me to think that anything bad is a surprise and she loves me and cares for me, but is not 100% about us. She is going through alot of stress with work, school, our relationship and her life and doesn't know what is causing what. I told her that I know it's easy for me to say how I love her and that I still want to marry her. However, I know its hard and takes alot of courage to say what she said.
Following this fight things were more normal talking as we usually do, catching up on stuff happening apart. By this point I have one week before I move back. The night before she goes out and hangs out with her brother (He broke up with his GF of 3 years because he felt like she was more of a friend, and now just strings along girls). So after going out with her brother we speak the following day and everything seems normal, talking about what we are both respectively up to. She wants me to help her with a school project. We end the call since we both have things to do, I then inform her that I've booked my ticket and when I'll be landing. We end up calling and my GF just burst into tears and I ask what's wrong, she just says nothing and I ask again, same repose. Eventually she goes I don't know if I want to date because I feel like im suppressing how I am feeling and I do love you but I feel too much time has gone and we are too separate and live our own lives. That she isn't excited about me coming back and is indifferent. She doesn't know what she wants and feels bad because she feels as though she is stringing me along. The whole time she is balling her eyes out and stressing out and I of course am also sad. Eventually she tells me maybe we should take a break and she isnt sure about breaking up because she knows she will want to talk with me and continue being together. So we end the call and I feel like my GF has half broken up with me and its due to her friends and brother just giving her advice.
A few hours go by and I speak with my Mum because I need to vent and talk with someone. She goes just break up with her and in the heat of it I'm like yea I should. So I call my GF and I start telling her how it's not fair how she's been acting etc I wasn't rude or swearing. I wished her luck in her future and when Im back in the US I would get my things. My GF looked bad when I first spoke with her and then like a deer in front of headlights. She didn't cry just surprised, shocked and didnt know what to say.
Im going to be flying back to the US in less than a week by this point and I want to talk with her and I'd like to sort our stuff up. I feel I broke up with her out of haste and anger at that moment. My mum giving me that nudge also was a part of it. I know that we have both been toxic to each other in different ways and for the time being I am not going to talk with my GF. When I'm back in the US I will send her a message and ask to talk in neutral ground to just get out my feelings and hopefully she will too. I know she is hurting and wasn't expecting this. I have just felt for the past few months it's like she is flip flopping between wanting to date me and not. She has in my opinion let her friends decide every feeling and action she has from how she has acted from things mentioned above and others. It hurts because I want to make it work and I feel she doesn't know. There is alot going on and I was just hoping for some peoples opinions. After speaking with some of my friends they thing leaving her alone for now and talking with her when Im back is for the best. It sucks because we were really good and compatible before all of this craziness. I don't resent my GF nor am I mad at her she has been going through a lot its just I'm sad and I want to try and figure it out as a team.
Im sorry for the super long post.

For starters, since everything in the game has meaning, I think the separation of the intro zones is also by design. This separations being: Path in the Woods -> Approach the Cabin ->Inside of the Cabin-> Basement stairs -> Basement. If we take out the "connecting environments" we get three different zones: Path in the woods, Inside of the Cabin and Basement. Based on the nature of the game and the purpose of the construct it wouldn't be wrong to assume its a containment/executing system with multiple failsafes.

1. Basement: Its "the core" of the construct holding the princess and we perceive it as her being chained to a wall by shackles. This makes sure the concept of chance can't escape on her own, but only works for so long.
2. The interior of the cabin: It's a bulkhead if you think about it. How the narrator describes it is 2 doors (bulkhead protection) and a blade (gives you the means to execute the princess). The door to the basement is the first part of the bulkhead, its usually open to you and the narrator lets you go back to retrieve the blade, but also shuts it on your face if you try to save the princess. But the door you enter from is always "locked" behind you, because you never get the prompt to leave the cabin alone once you enter. And also prevents the Princess from getting out on her own (Writing this I realize it's an amazing foreshadowing to the ascension and hopeful endings).
3. The outside of the cabin or the "path in the woods". It's not the cabin, so its not protected from the princess and could be interpreted that here the construct is the weakest and actions here can affect the real world. This is backed up because the Narrator wants to stop at all costs the Princess from getting out of the Cabin. And the end always arrives when the Princess gets out of the Cabin.

At the end of the game we are revealed that everything is our body/ The Long Quiet's body: including the path of the woods (the trees match perfectly the outline of the "textured nothingness" in the Long Quiet almost as if its a skin the Narrator puts on it)
We see her influence corrupt more of the constructs work with every chapter.

1. Chapter 1: Baseline
2. Chapter 2: The path is normal and so is the Outside of the Cabin. It's interior and the Basement have changed in ways that should be noticeable from outside. Could be a hint that reality is still normal but the construct safeguards are failing: Sometimes the door to the basement is missing, or the chains are broken, or the Blade is innaccesible.
3. Chapter 3: In the Narrator's words "Her influence is spreading" and he seems much more unsettled by the fact this is happening outside the Cabin. It's possible that while she is still inside the cabin, the construct is failing to contain her, and the essence of the Vessel is "spilling" into that world. F.E: In Razor the surroundings are full of shards and blades, could be happening the same in that world or maybe its metaphorical and it's just people being distrustful and murdering one another.

Now, when we kill the princess as the Narrator wants, the world outside the cabin stops "changing" into a path in the woods and remains the textured nothingness of The Long Quiet as it was by default. However, the interior of the cabin remains exactly the same, and only the princess corpse changes (as its her nature to change based on our perception). My theory is that "Cabin" and "outside the cabin" work differently. Since we killed the concept of change, the world "outside the cabin" can no longer change, so it stops "changing" to be a path in the woods. Meanwhile the construct now holds us while the Narrator describes us into non-sentience (bliss ending)
With this context, here's where the "we don't exit" part comes in
During the end of everything, either if we choose to accept Shifting Mound's proposal or Slay her and ascend into godhood, we need to break out of the construct. To do that, we become our full selves, we awake as the entirety of "The Long Quiet" that made up that textured nothingness. Once we do that, we spread our wings and "shatter the construct", and the textured nothingness retreats as we move the wings out of the way. If we slayed Shifty, we see the world from the Echo, now unchanging. If we alligned with Shifty, we see "absolute reality". But both endings have in common that we shatter the construct.
In the hopeful ending we chose a different option. We leave the cabin together but not the construct (we do not shatter it). In the words of one of the final princess, she says "Can we do that? Can we exist within ourselves?" By stepping out of the Cabin, we're stepping back into the Long Quiet, perceived as the woods (from the windows you can see theres stars instead of textured nothingness) but we are not leaving the construct, which remains un-shattered.
In my opinion this isn't bad. The outside of the Cabin, as I theorized before, is not the secure princess-proof vault the cabin is. Here, their combined influence could affect the outside world for better or worse. Besides, now that you have a "complete" understanding of what eachother is (not as complete as Shifty though), it's possible things worlk differently, and the world doesn't have to end because both of you do not want the world to end (as you are not embracing oblivion, you are not killing the concept of change, and you are not destroying the world to make a new one with god-like powers). This is just my opinion, but I think this might give them a chance to avoid heat death.
Thanks for coming to my Princess Talk and reading the Tower of Text. :)
TLDR: In the No endings and A new Dawn endings, you shatter the construct and spill out into the real world. In the What happens next ending you dont, and continue living live within the Long Quiet's full body, inside the Construct. But since you are outside the "cabin", it's very likely that your actions there and the Princess nature, could subtly influence and shape the world outside. And the contradiction of your combined existance, could potentially give that world hope to avoid heat death.

1. Two marines exist in one, David Traylor and Bonam Berghdal, David is his right brain and from the Otter tots, Berghdal is from the IDF and recovered and bombed by a jdam once and david served once and berghdal served twice with david once and with my left brain once which I am in need of my Lord Baby Jace who is the left brain of me and devolved from me in her shower she is squatting 60 Years until I am well or 11 Years to her until she is 20 to own the shower as she is in it and like it and David was horny to this DBT and Berghdal just kind of is a daddy to it so berghdal was the DBT practioner of the situation needing a right brain of berghdal to the blast brain of the right brain of berghdal and there is a waiting left brain of david for david requiring a host body for berghdal of berghdals body destroyed by JDAM and the formation also of Myself Violet Roze Parr-Marian in the Overworld Canadia and my spaceballs display is on everybody said justin for real as he is a great man and also timbo was in the intermediary and I wanted a 6 day bunk with my marines 6 fold squad Joe Renshaw (3 Star Spetznaz General and lost his slips recently to some hind98 DBT as my sister gypsie), Joe McMiller (Tanker from the IDF that Knows Berghdal and is Roshan Super Competent), Billy Jean, Ievann Jean, Jack Caughlin FNG and Level 100 Sneak Hake Daraven (McRaven's Son) and want somebody like Alex or Efe as the discharge nurse to transfer me violet rose parr after healing to the Canadia Overworld of Canada Toronto and am able and willing for these marines in my 6 day service which I expect to be guard after 14 days meeting them. As david has a body and a brain and his brain waiting from being a jarhead and this is just meat really can be put in later so He will be OK, and berghdal can get a body and he will be OK and I have a doxx revalation about berghdal he had legitimate loam as Jeffery Murray and spent time in minecraft as the city's plague doctor. Jeffery Murray is the likely source of the brain needing which patrick has only a brain left and this isn't very good and he does not even know it as the code green boy and his left brain is the part that needs the patrick in it and patricks a manager so he needs a spaceballs on just his left face eye and keep it in the underworld sending berghdals brain which I gave berghdal of jeff typical sex magic on the way over and he is back on his way with berghdal and needs a whole life as an israeli typical 0th, 1st yitvah FMJ and should have my fire support, not some bozo firesupport which kills him and I can meet him and I want to bunker berghdal not david at the simuntions wargame I am going to once I am well at black gold bunker east or west I am not sure which it is Left Spetznaz spawn automatically in the war game and berghdal has a bad cerebellum right apex to being copped once by his mom again so he needs the DBT Exfil. Berghdal and david may not cop heroin. Berghdal and david may not cop weed if they are not in a hostel and he has to be a daddy if he is in the hostel because this gives him early touch to his next life training as a seal. 1.1 Marian can see not berghdal but david which david was a born again christian so requires him to go to a canadian overworld as extensive digging in david traylor recovered born again life system reveals some oil he had and the police stole so that david traylor may inherit the tenth spot in his next life born again with leslie marian as his practitioner and he is said young there maybe 12 and takes keiths spot to keith isolation to doing heroin and keith goes 5th floor and cant do dbt any more it is africa literally for him and it is cool and it is survival and keith plays super dental minecraft but cant keep infinity up forever so fails no matter what but kept it in his speed survival for a while and he always had reds somehow in the wilderness. The other children are Roor, Beiber, Kirsten, Violet, Nathan, Aaron, Erwin, Riley and he is David and he doing well here and this is so far into the future the image fades and violet goes off the ward into minecraft where she can get to now and she plays simunitions in the war game with her six marines pregnant male pregnant with some wedge and beads and is her left brains dadt private and is national guard and david goes with her but nathan is her husband.

I'm back after making this post 5 months ago.
Anyway, I've finished 112% -ing this game so I'll just rapid-fire some thoughts.

• Path of Pain was fun, but overhyped compared to the challenges other platformers have. i.e. Celeste
• Grimm Trope was good, Nightmare King is a well-designed boss compared to the others, and comparatively gave me a challenge. The only disappointing thing is that it was an evolution to Troupe Master, so beating NK took less time because of experience.

Godhome

Now Godhome was a bit of a doozy. I actually went swimmingly through all pantheons until P4. It wasn't because P4 was some unsurmountable obstacle, but rather a growing annoyance and frustration with the game had kinda exploded with the way bosses were set up. My first issue can somewhat be blamed on my impatience, but I wouldn't say I liked how some bosses turned the environment into a nuisance. No Eyes, Markoth, and Gorb for example, really take the wind out of me when I want to beat the shit out of them, but they're in a inaccessible position, or I'm dealing with projectiles that come at me at every angle. And speaking of projectiles...
My second issue with this game is the excessive use of projectiles as attacks. P4 Oblobbles, Absolute Radiance, and partly the bosses that I've mentioned before, I feel like the more difficult a boss scales, the more projectiles are used, and the more they start behaving like a Touhou Boss rather than an action 2D Metroidvania boss. I'm especially pointing at AR as the primary offender of this issue. And for these reasons above, I abandoned this game for a few months to play something that didn't piss me off so much.
Some other thoughts...

• Fuck Markoth, I didn't get why people hated him so much before, but now I do. That ascended/radiant stage is malevolent.
• I am the number #1 hater for P4 Oblobbles because they're the boss that blew my fuse.
• White Defender and Grey Prince Zote also suck. Idk why, but I can never get used to their weird attack patterns.
• Great Nailsage Sly, Pure Vessel, and Sisters of Battle are my favorite bosses. They're intense and keep you on your toes.

About AR, although definitely the most difficult boss of the game, I feel like the two issues I had with Godhome's bosses compounded into me just inputting and outputting actions for the character like a computer with multiple rules to abide by. And this way of playing genuinely sucks, the lack of ability to express your own style or being swept up by the pace of the boss just isn't fun.
The only way I see this feeling get solved if #1, if they provided opportunistic weaknesses to the bosses that could allow players to express their skill, I've only seen Dung Defender implemented with this, but I'd like to see other bosses have these weaknesses (ex. breaking a boss's weapon's after parrying it several times). And #2, implement some reflect ability. I don't mind if it's difficult to do, but I like having some agency when I'm being bombarded with nails and balls of light.

Etcetera

• My Charm loadout was Quick Slash, Sprint Master, Dash Master, and Unbreakable Strength.
• I refuse to do Radiant bosses, it's simply too bothersome. God forbid a ball of light or a random beam of light hits you phase 4 or 5 in Radiant AR.
• The time to 112% the game was 55h and 14m.

Sorry to anyone who has to read this long story to get to the question I just feel it's right to give context and see what the general populace thinks.
I used to work at this restaurant (21) and I became friends with this hostess (17). The age may play a big part in this who knows. I worked here once a week and over the course of a few months, the hostess and I became really close friends. She'd tell me about her family problems, her new boyfriend, her life worries, etc. Yada yada yada one day she says she's quitting soon. I get this gut wrenching feeling and for the rest of the day, I'm depressed and I told her that we should just stop being friends for the rest of her time here because I don't think we'd be friends outside of work because
a. She's 17,
b. She seems like a busy person and I don't really see her making time for me so like why bother right? She'd just become a memory later on that I reminisce about
But she breaks down and I try to reconsider but at the end of the day I told her that my decision was kind of made. Fast forward to a day I'm off, and I really do feel bad because the image of her just crying really guilt tripped me sort of so I came to work to try and make up with her. When I got there she started bawling her eyes out for a good half hour before I could talk to her again and once I was able to I tried to joke around and say sorry. What I really wanted to know was what I meant to her? What does she see in me that she'd go as far as to cry and tell me about these things about her, etc. I wrote that on a note and told her to give it back because I gave it to her at a somewhat emotional low so I knew she would be somewhat truthful.
Fast forward a few weeks, she hasn't given the note back but she did write a "tldr" version saying how I'm important because she rarely lets people in, etc. I really didn't vibe with this because I just wanted the original, this seemed somewhat false to me. The original could have said "you're a fucking creep, leave me alone" and I would've been fine with it but I was obsessed with a guaranteed truth I made up in my head I suppose.
**Oh right let's side note a few things she trusted me with so I can show how nonsensical this sounds to a sane person. She trusts me with her address, her phone password, she would literally leave me alone with her phone cause I asked her jokingly. I know it isn't weird unless I make it out to be but this is some unusual trust she has in me. I see her as like a sister I must protect sort of, someone I want to see happy no matter what or so I think anyways, everyone says I had romantic feelings for her. And she also got a boyfriend about a month and a half into me befriending her.
I made this stupid thing where I would call her or text her once a week and asked her how she was doing. The intention behind this was to make it seemed as if nothing had changed for me. I'd still be talking to her once a week. This works out for a couple weeks but eventually she stops responding. In hindsight, I guess this does seem like a chore to her and I should've seen that this type of relationship is kind of forced and just does not work. She stops responding, ghosts me and blocks me. I'm not sure but I think the following situation had to do with it : She wasn't responding to my texts at a usual time when we would talk. I called her and she said she was feeling depressed and we talked for a bit and she asked me "What's the best thing to ever happen to you." I asked her if she wanted the cliche answer because if I said it outright it would actually seem serious. She said yes and I said you guessed it "you." Though I guess in truth, she is one of the best things that's ever happened to me. Before I met her, life was sort of dull and gray but little by little I guess she made it a bit more fun and interesting but I did not mean anything by this answer, I thought it was only a joke to be honest. But yea she blocked me a few days or a day after this call I'm not sure. This drove me crazy because she gave no signs that anything had gone bad. No communication that she felt uncomfortable about what I said or whatever this thing is that I've set up. So I spam called her with a no caller ID for a bit before her boyfriend told me to stop. Yea I went really batshit crazy.
I know I fucked up and that we may never talk again and that this is all my fault but I wouldn't like to end things on a bad note especially with her. Her birthday is coming up and I told her way back I would give her a present. Is it wrong to give the present still and try to reconcile / reconnect?

hi i am 15f and my dad (43) struggles with addiction. i am not hear to bash him or anyone with an addiction, i am here to simply vent and share my experiences with it. (this may be a long post so i apologize in advance)
lets start from the very beginning. my grandfather was an alcoholic and was kicked out by my grandmother when my dad was younger. (important detail for later) For as long as i could remember my dad loved partying and going out. i was often dragged along to these things from as early as 3 years old but i had only gained consciousness of his problems when i was 11. he would often go out on Friday night and not come home till sunday. when i realized he had a problem i brought it up to my mom (they have spilt custody of me 50/50) and she had told me that it wasn’t really that bad, till she witnessed it herself and my own birthday party. i didn’t not want to do anything big that year and just go to the arcade with my best friend. my dad had invited all my uncles and aunts (his friends from high school) and made it into a party. i didn’t mind in the beginning but the invited them all over after the arcade or cake but the party turned into a weekend long bender and thats when i started to hate my birthday because every year after that was the same thing. in more recent times he has picked up a coke habit, how do i know this? he left it lying out in the living room while on one of his benders. that same weekend he had left me alone for 3 days. i am perfectly capable of taking care of myself but its still the fact he rather choose that then staying with me. he also like to often invites random people i don’t know into the house and stay while they party. that makes me uncomfortable. he has a habit of always finding women who have the same problems has him (drinking, partying ect.) so they enable him to do this stuff. For the past 4 years i have talked to him about his problems and he dismisses my opinion. i got to the point where i stayed with my mom for a month and a half because he was not acknowledging how his lifestyle is effecting me. when i finally talked to him his excuse was that “he is at home all day so he needs to go out and is stressed from work” (he works from home) and tells me he’ll change he does for a few weeks then goes back to his old ways. he also like to compare himself to his late father. his dad would spend every pay check at the bar every single day while my grandmother was working day and night jobs trying to support 3 kids. he likes to use that to guilt me because he had it so much harder. he says that he’s not an alcoholic and that he just likes to party. he also his a frequent driver while very intoxicated. he gets into petty arguments with friends/family while partying and storms out in a fit of rage dragging me with him and not giving me a choice. there are times where he had nodded off behind the wheel and i hate to admit this but i sometimes dont wake him up when this happens there a part of me that want something to happen cause i feel like thats the only way to get through to him. no it is the only, way i have tried everything. i just so done fighting the same battle over and over. i just want him to to choose me for once over that dumb bottle he calls his therapy. i have come to a point where i don’t care what he does with his life. i mean i obviously do but i try not too. you cant save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.
im sorry if this seems all over the place 😭

Sorry to anyone who has to read this long story to get to the question I just feel it's right to give context and see what the general populace thinks.
I used to work at this restaurant (21) and I became friends with this hostess (17). The age may play a big part in this who knows. I worked here once a week and over the course of a few months, the hostess and I became really close friends. She'd tell me about her family problems, her new boyfriend, her life worries, etc. Yada yada yada one day she says she's quitting soon. I get this gut wrenching feeling and for the rest of the day, I'm depressed and I told her that we should just stop being friends for the rest of her time here because I don't think we'd be friends outside of work because
a. She's 17,
b. She seems like a busy person and I don't really see her making time for me so like why bother right? She'd just become a memory later on that I reminisce about
But she breaks down and I try to reconsider but at the end of the day I told her that my decision was kind of made. Fast forward to a day I'm off, and I really do feel bad because the image of her just crying really guilt tripped me sort of so I came to work to try and make up with her. When I got there she started bawling her eyes out for a good half hour before I could talk to her again and once I was able to I tried to joke around and say sorry. What I really wanted to know was what I meant to her? What does she see in me that she'd go as far as to cry and tell me about these things about her, etc. I wrote that on a note and told her to give it back because I gave it to her at a somewhat emotional low so I knew she would be somewhat truthful.
Fast forward a few weeks, she hasn't given the note back but she did write a "tldr" version saying how I'm important because she rarely lets people in, etc. I really didn't vibe with this because I just wanted the original, this seemed somewhat false to me. The original could have said "you're a fucking creep, leave me alone" and I would've been fine with it but I was obsessed with a guaranteed truth I made up in my head I suppose.
**Oh right let's side note a few things she trusted me with so I can show how nonsensical this sounds to a sane person. She trusts me with her address, her phone password, she would literally leave me alone with her phone cause I asked her jokingly. I know it isn't weird unless I make it out to be but this is some unusual trust she has in me. I see her as like a sister I must protect sort of, someone I want to see happy no matter what or so I think anyways, everyone says I had romantic feelings for her. And she also got a boyfriend about a month and a half into me befriending her.
I made this stupid thing where I would call her or text her once a week and asked her how she was doing. The intention behind this was to make it seemed as if nothing had changed for me. I'd still be talking to her once a week. This works out for a couple weeks but eventually she stops responding. In hindsight, I guess this does seem like a chore to her and I should've seen that this type of relationship is kind of forced and just does not work. She stops responding, ghosts me and blocks me. I'm not sure but I think the following situation had to do with it : She wasn't responding to my texts at a usual time when we would talk. I called her and she said she was feeling depressed and we talked for a bit and she asked me "What's the best thing to ever happen to you." I asked her if she wanted the cliche answer because if I said it outright it would actually seem serious. She said yes and I said you guessed it "you." Though I guess in truth, she is one of the best things that's ever happened to me. Before I met her, life was sort of dull and gray but little by little I guess she made it a bit more fun and interesting but I did not mean anything by this answer, I thought it was only a joke to be honest. But yea she blocked me a few days or a day after this call I'm not sure. This drove me crazy because she gave no signs that anything had gone bad. No communication that she felt uncomfortable about what I said or whatever this thing is that I've set up. So I spam called her with a no caller ID for a bit before her boyfriend told me to stop. Yea I went really batshit crazy.
I know I fucked up and that we may never talk again and that this is all my fault but I wouldn't like to end things on a bad note especially with her. Her birthday is coming up and I told her way back I would give her a present. Is it wrong to give the present still and try to reconcile / reconnect?

Sorry to anyone who has to read this long story to get to the question I just feel it's right to give context and see what the general populace thinks.
I used to work at this restaurant (21) and I became friends with this hostess (17). The age may play a big part in this who knows. I worked here once a week and over the course of a few months, the hostess and I became really close friends. She'd tell me about her family problems, her new boyfriend, her life worries, etc. Yada yada yada one day she says she's quitting soon. I get this gut wrenching feeling and for the rest of the day, I'm depressed and I told her that we should just stop being friends for the rest of her time here because I don't think we'd be friends outside of work because
a. She's 17,
b. She seems like a busy person and I don't really see her making time for me so like why bother right? She'd just become a memory later on that I reminisce about
But she breaks down and I try to reconsider but at the end of the day I told her that my decision was kind of made. Fast forward to a day I'm off, and I really do feel bad because the image of her just crying really guilt tripped me sort of so I came to work to try and make up with her. When I got there she started bawling her eyes out for a good half hour before I could talk to her again and once I was able to I tried to joke around and say sorry. What I really wanted to know was what I meant to her? What does she see in me that she'd go as far as to cry and tell me about these things about her, etc. I wrote that on a note and told her to give it back because I gave it to her at a somewhat emotional low so I knew she would be somewhat truthful.
Fast forward a few weeks, she hasn't given the note back but she did write a "tldr" version saying how I'm important because she rarely lets people in, etc. I really didn't vibe with this because I just wanted the original, this seemed somewhat false to me. The original could have said "you're a fucking creep, leave me alone" and I would've been fine with it but I was obsessed with a guaranteed truth I made up in my head I suppose.
**Oh right let's side note a few things she trusted me with so I can show how nonsensical this sounds to a sane person. She trusts me with her address, her phone password, she would literally leave me alone with her phone cause I asked her jokingly. I know it isn't weird unless I make it out to be but this is some unusual trust she has in me. I see her as like a sister I must protect sort of, someone I want to see happy no matter what or so I think anyways, everyone says I had romantic feelings for her. And she also got a boyfriend about a month and a half into me befriending her.
I made this stupid thing where I would call her or text her once a week and asked her how she was doing. The intention behind this was to make it seemed as if nothing had changed for me. I'd still be talking to her once a week. This works out for a couple weeks but eventually she stops responding. In hindsight, I guess this does seem like a chore to her and I should've seen that this type of relationship is kind of forced and just does not work. She stops responding, ghosts me and blocks me. I'm not sure but I think the following situation had to do with it : She wasn't responding to my texts at a usual time when we would talk. I called her and she said she was feeling depressed and we talked for a bit and she asked me "What's the best thing to ever happen to you." I asked her if she wanted the cliche answer because if I said it outright it would actually seem serious. She said yes and I said you guessed it "you." Though I guess in truth, she is one of the best things that's ever happened to me. Before I met her, life was sort of dull and gray but little by little I guess she made it a bit more fun and interesting but I did not mean anything by this answer, I thought it was only a joke to be honest. But yea she blocked me a few days or a day after this call I'm not sure. This drove me crazy because she gave no signs that anything had gone bad. No communication that she felt uncomfortable about what I said or whatever this thing is that I've set up. So I spam called her with a no caller ID for a bit before her boyfriend told me to stop. Yea I went really batshit crazy.
I know I fucked up and that we may never talk again and that this is all my fault but I wouldn't like to end things on a bad note especially with her. Her birthday is coming up and I told her way back I would give her a present. Is it wrong to give the present still and try to reconcile / reconnect?

I am unsure of if I have BPD or not but I seem to exhibit signs. I have an extreme aversion to opening up to people and money is also another large source of stress in my life which has made it difficult to seek therapy. I would like to know if there is an anonymous free online therapy service I can use to receive a diagnosis.
Some of the symptoms I experience are:
Frequent Mood swings - I go from a godlike state where I feel like can do and achieve anything to completely hollow depressed/unfulfilled/worthless feeling in a matter of minutes. Sometimes these states last for weeks, sometimes I will be up and down multiple times a day.
Maladaptive day dreaming - this is a constant and daily thing for me, usually taking up multiple hours of my day. I am unsure if this is dissociation or not, sometimes I close my eyes caught up in a thought or memory and I'm completely transported/disconnected from the real world. This can happen randomly sometimes mid conversation or while I'm working. I also have days where I feel brain fogged and unable to think/function properly.
Disorganized attachment style - I crave connection but but I'm also completely unable to open up to my friends or family about anything. I don't reveal much if anything about myself to most people(I even limit the sides of myself I show to my friends/family) and have only been able to talk about my true thoughts and feelings anonymously. I have been unable to reciprocate love with at least half of the people I have had some form of relationship with. All of them I ended up being avoidant with but also overly clingy at the same time somehow.
Immoderation issues - I have struggled with substance abuse/addiction, binge eating and being responsible with money(even though I understand budgeting and how to properly manage money). I am an all or nothing person either being completely apathetic or overly enthusiastic in everything I do.
These issues have a significant impact on my daily life and relationships. I just want to know what's wrong with me tbh. Did anyone else struggle with seeking therapy?

A Closer Look at Python's Conditional Syntax

Python, known for its elegant syntax and readability, offers a variety of structures to perform conditional operations, a cornerstone of logical decision-making in programming. Unlike many other languages that use a traditional ternary operator (condition ? true : false), Python adopts a more readable approach. This unique syntax not only enhances code clarity but also aligns with Python's philosophy of simplicity and readability. Understanding how to effectively use Python's conditional expressions can significantly optimize code, making it more concise and easier to understand.
The ternary conditional operator in Python, often termed as the conditional expression, allows for decision making in a single line, thereby streamlining the flow of control within programs. This feature becomes particularly useful in assignments, function arguments, and anywhere else where a concise expression is required over a bulky if-else statement. As we delve into the nuances of Python's conditional syntax, we'll explore how this language constructs its ternary operations and the benefits it brings to coding practices, highlighting Python's commitment to simplicity and elegance in programming.

Command	Description
Variable assignment	Assigns a value to a variable
Ternary conditional operator	A shorthand way of doing conditional assignments

Exploring Python's Ternary Conditional Operator

The ternary conditional operator in Python is a succinct way to assign values to variables based on a condition. This operator is a compact form of the traditional if-else statement, which can help in writing more readable and concise code. Essentially, it evaluates a condition and assigns a value to a variable depending on whether the condition is true or false. The beauty of the ternary operator lies in its simplicity and the reduction of code lines required to perform conditional assignments. Instead of writing multiple lines of if-else statements to assign a value, you can achieve the same outcome in a single line. This not only makes the code cleaner but also easier to understand at a glance.
Despite its advantages, the use of the ternary conditional operator should be balanced with readability concerns, especially in complex expressions. While it's tempting to condense code as much as possible, overly complex one-liners can be difficult to read and understand, particularly for those new to programming or to Python. It is often recommended to use the ternary operator in straightforward conditions where it enhances clarity. For more complex conditions, sticking to the traditional if-else structure may be more appropriate. This approach ensures that maintainability and readability of the code are not sacrificed for brevity. Understanding when and how to use the ternary conditional operator effectively is a valuable skill in Python programming, contributing to writing efficient and clean code.

Understanding Python's Ternary Operator

Python programming

 =  if  else  result = "Even" if num % 2 == 0 else "Odd" print(result) 

Delving Deeper into Python's Ternary Operator

Python's ternary conditional operator offers a compact syntax for conditional expressions, allowing for the concise assignment of values based on a condition's truth value. This operator is particularly useful in scenarios where you need to assign a value to a variable but the assignment depends on a certain condition. The syntax is straightforward, with the condition placed in the middle, flanked by the value to assign if the condition is true and the value to assign if the condition is false. This not only simplifies the code but also enhances its readability by making conditional assignments more straightforward to follow.
While the ternary operator is a powerful tool in Python, it's important to use it judiciously. Overuse or misuse, especially in complex conditions, can lead to code that's hard to read and maintain. Best practices suggest using the ternary operator in simple conditions where it makes the code more readable. For more complex logical evaluations, traditional if-else statements might still be the better choice. Understanding the balance between conciseness and readability is key to effectively using the ternary operator in Python programming. It's a testament to Python's flexibility and its emphasis on writing code that's not just functional but also clean and readable.

Common Questions on Python's Ternary Operator

1. Question: What is the ternary conditional operator in Python?
2. Answer: It's a one-line shorthand for an if-else block that assigns a value to a variable based on a condition.
3. Question: How do you write a ternary operator in Python?
4. Answer: The syntax is value_if_true if condition else value_if_false.
5. Question: Can the ternary operator be nested in Python?
6. Answer: Yes, though for readability, it's recommended to use it sparingly in complex conditions.
7. Question: Is the ternary operator unique to Python?
8. Answer: No, many other programming languages have their versions of the ternary operator, though the syntax may vary.
9. Question: Can you use multiple conditions in a Python ternary operator?
10. Answer: Yes, but keep in mind that readability might decrease as the condition becomes more complex.
11. Question: What are the advantages of using the ternary operator?
12. Answer: It makes the code more concise and can improve readability in simple conditions.
13. Question: Are there any downsides to using the ternary operator?
14. Answer: In complex conditions, it can make the code harder to read and understand.
15. Question: Can the ternary operator be used with functions?
16. Answer: Yes, you can use it to decide which function to call based on a condition.
17. Question: How does the ternary operator enhance Python programming?
18. Answer: It provides a more elegant way to perform conditional assignments, making the code cleaner.
19. Question: Should beginners use the ternary operator?
20. Answer: Beginners should understand it, but it's important to prioritize code readability and understand when its use is appropriate.

Wrapping Up the Ternary Operator in Python

The ternary conditional operator in Python stands as a testament to the language's commitment to code readability and efficiency. Offering a neat, one-line alternative to the more verbose if-else statements, it embodies Python's philosophy of simplicity and elegance in programming. However, its utility is not without limitations. While it shines in simplifying straightforward conditional assignments, its application in more complex scenarios requires careful consideration to avoid compromising code readability. As with many aspects of programming, the key to leveraging the ternary operator effectively lies in understanding its appropriate use cases. Developers are encouraged to use this powerful tool judiciously, ensuring that clarity is not sacrificed at the altar of brevity. In doing so, the ternary operator can significantly contribute to writing clean, concise, and readable code in Python, further enhancing the language's appeal to both beginners and experienced programmers alike.
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