To start this story off, I suppose it's best to talk a little bit about myself and my experience in the TTRPG space. I've been an avid TTRPG enthusiast for almost two decades now. Yes, I'm a bit of an old hat/old fogey. I started my enjoyment of the hobby with Pathfinder 1st edition, eventually transferring over to DnD 5e when it first arrived on the scene, mostly because it was the new hotness, but I ultimately found that it was better suited for the type of games that I enjoy running at my table. While I very adamantly enjoy the structure that a game's mechanical rules bring to the table, 5e provided a rules system that wasn't invasive, and so me and my friends were able to focus on the things about the game that we enjoyed the most - the roleplaying, the storytelling, and (most importantly) the fun.
Many years would go by, as well as a couple of what I would consider to be successful campaigns - basically anything that managed to survive longer than 3 months. Scheduling, right? I digress. Eventually, I arrived at a point where my current circle of friends and I were itching to play a new campaign, and for the shits and giggles of it we decided we would livestream it on Twitch. At the time, we had managed to get affiliated on Twitch, and one or two of us would occasionally have a couple of viewers pop in when we were streaming whatever video game we were playing, and we figured it would be fun to do the same thing with our next campaign. So we did. As you might expect, nothing really ever came out of it. We were just doing it for fun. The campaign only lasted about 3 months or so, and we never set out with the expectation that what we were releasing into the world was anything amazing - we were just four normal dudes having fun playing a game we enjoyed, and if you happened to find yourself on our Twitch channel to see it, awesome! If not, cool. We weren't doing it for you.
So, yeah, that campaign eventually fell off, and we would eventually return to just streaming whatever video game excited us. One of friends got married, and had a kid, and was too busy for DnD. Another friend got a new job, and his schedule just didn't give him the time. Hell, even I managed to land a pretty decent job at the time, and I struggled to make time for our weekly video game nights, but I managed. But ever since that streamed campaign had ended, I had an itch in the back of my mind that I really wanted to scratch. I thoroughly enjoyed everything about livestreaming our campaign. Sure, it was nothing to write home about, but I fell in love with the showmanship of it all. Maybe it was because of the thought of the potential for someone to eventually watch it, but whenever we would stream, I would get in the zone and pretend I was putting on a show for thousands (even though we may have only ever had three or four viewers at max). Basically, I had fallen in love with the idea of putting on a show for others, and I knew I would jump at the chance to do it again in the future. Enter Wayne.
A little over a year ago (at the time of this posting), I was perusing through the /LFG subreddit and not looking for anything in particular, when I stumbled across a post that checked off all the boxes.
I don't like to admit that I'm picky, but that fact that this sub exists should give credence to that fact that one should, at the very least, have a criteria when looking for games to invest yourself in when looking at advertisements. And if my little backstory above should inform you, there were a number of things on my checklist that this post had. For starters, it was longer than a few sentences. Clearly, the person who posted this was meticulous about what they wanted and what they didn't want (I would learn, much later on, that Wayne was not the one who wrote the post, but one of his players). Secondly, the post was very adamant about what was of paramount importance at the table - rich and compelling narratives, deep exploration of characters, and a passion for roleplay. And thirdly, the plan was to turn this into a "production". The post even included a promo video of respectable quality. Clearly, the people involved with this had a plan, much more of a plan than my friends and I had when we streamed. And, I considered myself a pretty decent roleplayer, so I applied. They were only looking for 1 applicant, but I figured I had a decent shot, with my previous livestreaming experience, and the fact that I already owned a (what some would call excessive) microphone and camera. So I shot my shot. If I didn't get picked, no biggie, life goes on. But when I received a discord invite and told that I had made it to the second round of the application process, I was ecstatic.
It is around here that I should introduce you to our cast of characters (names have been changed, of course:

• There is, of course, me, Dave - a guy who fundamentally believes that fun and safety at a table supersedes everything else, who happens to really enjoy hamming it up in character, and telling exciting stories.
  
• Ava - an already confirmed player at the table, with a past experience of playing with Wayne. I would come to find out that Ava was the one who had written the LFG post. Ava was also in charge of Discord moderation, and the second round interview process. She has her own story, which I will allude to here, but is ultimately hers to share.
  
• Jelly - Wayne's significant other. Jelly was supposedly not involved with the upcoming campaign at all, but had a presence on the Discord, and have previously played in Wayne's campaigns.
  Seth - another already confirmed player at the table. Admittedly, Seth plays a minor role in the story, but his inclusion is necessary.
  
  • and Wayne - the lead character of our story. The DM of the upcoming campaign. The visionary. The guy who plans to have the next big thing in the TTRPG actual play space.

There are at least a half dozen other individuals involved in this story, but ultimately play very minor roles. If at some point while I am writing this one of them pop up, I will update the list above to include them.
Back to the story. I was ecstatic to find out I had been selected for an Discord interview and scheduled it at my earliest convenience. This is where I first meet Ava. To be honest, I don't recall much about the interview, but I remember it being pretty standard and what I was expecting an interview to be. Mostly it was just going into detail about some of the stuff I had included in my primary application and talking about expectations and goals. I was told that after the Discord interview, the next step would be a participation in a practice one shot, to get a feel for how I would play at the table. After the interview was over, Wayne hopped into the voice channel, and this would be when I would meet the man, the legend.
I pride myself on being very good at reading people. I can usually pick up on when someone is trying to sell me something, pretty quickly. I tend to over analyze words and expression looking for intent. I have been gaslit and manipulated several times in my past by people very close to me, and so I have developed this defense when meeting people for the first time. Very rarely do I take someone at their word, or completely buy what they are selling when I hardly know them, and even less so to a complete stranger. In this case, when meeting Wayne for the first time, my defenses failed me.
Perhaps it was because it had been over a year since I last ran a campaign. Perhaps it was because it had been even longer than that that I actually got to be a player in a campaign. Perhaps it was because of that itch of wanting to perform again for an audience. Or, perhaps, it was because Wayne was very good at pitching his plans. Whatever the reason, my first impression of Wayne was that this was a guy who had a plan, and had the means to enact that plan, and I wanted to be a part of it in any way that I could.
Wayne, you see, had two big passions in life. The first was DnD. The second, as he would admit, was being an entrepreneur. He owned his own business in New York City. One of several ventures he had pursued, and it afforded him a premium NYC apartment and the time and luxury to spend on his second passion - playing DnD. And so, he thought, why not marry these two passions together? He had a great head for business. And according to him, the last campaign he had run was fantastic. So fantastic, he thought, that surely other people would enjoy listening to it. And so he hatched a plan - he would use his business knowledge and savvy to launch a Youtube channel that would be home to his next great campaign. But he had the foresight, at least, to know of just how saturated the DnD actual play space has become in recent years. If he wanted to be successful at this venture, he would have to stand out from the rest. And he had a solution to that. He wasn't going to put out just any old DnD actual play. He was going to create "DnD Cinema".
To do that, he said, he needed the right people that share in the same core philosophies that he had. Namely, a "pretentious level of hyperfixation on roleplaying and narrative storytelling". Most other actual plays, to him, were playing "beer and pretzels" DnD. You know, the type of game were you sit around with your friends having a good time and a laugh, where you might spend five minutes on an out of character joke, etc. Shit like that wasn't going to fly in this campaign. When you came to the table, you were going to be in character from start to finish. And recording sessions were going to be seven hours long. Could I handle that?
And I admit that I told him I could. Like I said, he had a way with words. He was clearly passionate about it. And he talked a good talk. And he was friendly enough. So he said he would be in touch. And the wait began.
Over the course of the next month or so, I would come to become friends with Ava and Wayne. We would hop into Discord and play games, talk about the upcoming campaign, etc. It was going to be several months before the campaign actually began recording, and so Wayne was still conducting the interview process while also working on worldbuilding for the campaign. He was also spending over $3000 dollars commissioning an animated table for the youtube video. This was clearly something he was very proud of, as he took every and all opportunity to talk about how amazing and innovative it was going to be.
You see, in Wayne's vision of "DnD cinema", the videos that would be put up on youtube would not include the faces of the players. Or battlemaps. Instead, it would be animated table that he could manipulate in editing at various cue points. It would feature portraits of the characters that would light up when they speak. It was the next big thing in the TTRPG space - a (frankly) audio only experience that was accentuated with the occasional fancy animation that cost thousands of dollars. No one else was doing it, he would say, and that would help him stand out even more.
It was also during these more innocent days that I would come to understand Wayne's obsession with Brennan Lee Mulligan. He idolized the guy. In fact, he would brag on multiple occasions that his significant other's job had her 3 or 4 degrees removed from Brennan - basically, she worked for someone who worked for someone who was involved with the Dungeons and Drag Queens season of Dimension 20, and he would often mention how he was hoping to use that connection to someday have a sit down and meet and greet with BLeeM himself. As time would go on, I would eventually find out that Wayne actually considered Brennan Lee Mulligan as his competition.
About a month would past before I would hear anything about my application. I never brought it up during our gaming sessions, as another core tenet of mine is that I don't want my friendship or acquaintance with someone to give me an edge over other candidates. I want my experience and what I bring to the table to stand on its own merit. This will come up later in our story. Eventually, I would get a message from Wayne asking me if I would be interested in participating in a try out one shot for the campaign. Apparently, he had completely forgotten that I had applied, and wanted to schedule in a last minute try out for me. My fellow players during the one shot would be Ava, some other member of the discord community, and Jelly.
I'll be honest, the one shot was nothing to write home about. And even Wayne would admit it was something he threw together last minute so that he could say I had my chance. I immediately found Ava to be a fantastic scene partner, and even for a one shot, put the time and effort into her character and actions. Jelly, on the other hand, was not that good. To be fair to Jelly, my criteria for grading her performance was strictly on the curve that Wayne himself said he was grading people on. I found her to be a very selfish player, who failed to pick up on narrative cues, and was solely focused on her time in the spotlight. But it was a trial one shot that didn't mean anything. My biggest take away from Jelly was that she was a player that I would not enjoy playing with in the future, and that I wouldn't seek out as a player at a table that I was DMing for. Not horror story bad (yet), but not good. Average.
When the application process was done, it would eventually come down to two choices. I was one. Wayne loved my southern twang, and thought it would sound good in a production. And we had become friends. The other was someone with a theater and acting background, who had been to Julliard. I was not selected. And I was okay with that. The decision did not impact my friendship with either Ava or Wayne, and we continued to hang out and play games together. I then learned of Wayne's new plan.
In the original posting ad for the campaign, it had been mentioned that a possibility for guest character appearing in the campaign could happen. The original idea was that, as members of the Discord community would play in one shots, Wayne would then be able to invite stand out performance to appear in an episode or two of the new campaign, as a gift to the community and to give those players a chance to play in a campaign with other players of similar caliber. This all changed as the months got closer to release date. The idea for guests at the table changed completely. Instead, Wayne's plan was to use the guest spots at the table as a networking opportunity. Don't forget - Wayne is an entrepreneur. This was a business venture for him, and successful businesses need to show growth. And he wanted to achieve growth at an accelerated pace. The plan was simple - as the channel grew, Wayne would scour the internet for similar channels with slightly higher subscriber count than his. Well, I say Wayne would do this. Wayne would actually pawn this off on to someone else. A tangent that I will perhaps need to touch on later in this story - Wayne was very good at finding ways of pawning off work on to others, and then taking the credit. He very much believe himself to be a manager, and other members of the Discord that showed any interest in the success of this venture as his employees. He would then engage in communications with these other channels in the hopes of achieving some Quid Pro Quo. You send someone to be a guest on our channel for a few episodes, and we'll shout you out. In return, he would send someone from his channel to theirs, and get a shout out in return. Something to note here - all of this was done without ever including his players in the discussion. He was offering them up to strangers without even asking if they even wanted to do that.
Time passes, and eventually recording for the campaign begins. It would be about two months into recording when Wayne approached me about being the first guest character. (At this point, I had been an active member of the Discord community for over six months now). He wanted me to be the first guest character for two reasons. The first was because I was familiar, and he wanted to test out the format before bringing in strangers. The second was because of my prior livestreaming experience. I was a part of an affiliated Twitch channel that met the criteria of having a slightly higher subscriber count than his. But for the most part, our old Twitch channel was dead. Sure, we still streamed games into the void, but there was practically no engagement. And I told him so when he asked me if I wanted to be introduced as someone from that Twitch channel. I was more involved in his community as that point, anyway. And so, I finally got what I was wanting - to sit down and play quality DnD with like minded individuals for the purposes of entertaining others.
At this point, only a handful of episodes had aired. The recording schedule had them a grace period of a month or so before release, and I admittedly hadn't watched them. Honestly, I wasn't that interested. I don't know if that's bad or not. There are a lot of actual plays out there of varying quality. And each one requires a lot of time commitment to watch. Already I was regularly watching Critical Roll, and I was having a hard time to find time to watch some of the other really good shows I was enjoying, like Dimension 20 and The Glass Cannon. On top of that, it was an game that I wasn't a part of, so yeah, I admit I hadn't watch any of it. But even if I had, it wouldn't have prepared me for what playing at the table was actually like. The released episodes were highly edited, with sound effects and music. It wasn't until I became actually involved at the table that I would find out just how manufactured the game actually was. And I use the word "game" very generously.
For starters, once recording began, all out of character talk and banter was immediately and explicitly forbidden. We were to remain in character at all times. Secondly, I would find out that Wayne had developed a "formula for success" in regards to time spent recording. No scene would ever last longer than ten minutes. If players spent too much time having their characters engaging with each other and the time elapsed, we were moving on the next scene, regardless of if it was a natural conclusion or not. Speaking of the characters, I would come to learn that the characters that the player brought to this campaign were secondary to the story that Wayne wanted to tell. "This campaign isn't character focused, it's story focused" he would say. The campaign simply did not have time for that. I don't like to toss out the word "railroaded" very often, but it quickly became apparent that there was a good bit of railroading being done here. The only character decisions or choices or conversations that would ever make it to the final cut were ones that provided what he thought would be the most interesting while pushing his narrative forward. And for a DnD game, there wasn't a whole lot of game being done here. Sure, the players had character sheets, and classes, but it was all superficial. Combat was a rarity on the level of a shiny Pokemon. I think mostly because Wayne didn't find combat narratively compelling. But in that case, I have to ask, why use DnD as your game system? If all you want to do is roll clicky dice and improv, there are much better systems out there. And speaking of the dice - I'm sad to say that in most cases they were superfluous, as well. The only real purpose the dice served to Wayne was when they could be used to clip epic moments of success or failure. A natural 20 or a natural 1 was gold for him, because then he could clip it into a Youtube or Tiktok Short and grow those subscriber numbers. For a game in which "every decision hung on the roll of a dice", there weren't a lot of dice rolls, there weren't a lot of decisions, and when there were decisions, most of the time, the outcome was predetermined by Wayne. Everything Wayne did in regards to this game was in service to growing his Youtube channel. And the sad part? It worked.
In a shockingly short amount of time, Wayne was able to grow his Youtube channel from just over a 100 subscribers to over a 1000. This was mostly done by his excessive push of Youtube and Tiktok shorts. For a short period of time, I was deemed trustworthy enough to have access to the Youtube channel's admin, and I could view the statistics. The turnover rate for shorts into actual video views was miniscule. Only a tiny fraction were tuning in for the actual show. At this point, he had just become a Youtube Shorts creator.
And I want to mention at this point - I understand and respect the hustle. The world of Youtube is a dog eat dog world, and you have to have to play the game to stay in the game - I get it. I don't have any issue with being proud of what you've created, and pushing it out to people. I really don't. My issue was with how deceptive Wayne was being with it. And how deceptive he was, in general, as I would come to find out.
You see, before the inaugural campaign had even launched, Wayne approached me one day to see if I would be interested in running a campaign on his channel, as I had experience before in it, and had expressed an interest in doing it again. And I will admit, I was excited about the prospect. But before my words of "Yeah, I'd love to talk about" even had a chance to dissipate into the ether, Jelly would hop into the channel, in the middle of the discussion to say, "You know who should run a campaign? Seth." And then immediately log off.
I don't have a lot to say about Seth. I think he is an amazing, caring, friendly guy. He also happens to be an incredible roleplayer and storyteller, and his character is Wayne's campaign is truly phenomenal. I envy how easy it is for Seth to get into and portray the wide arrange of emotions of a character. He also happens to be a great GM. I understand why Jelly would suggest him to run a campaign. What I didn't understand, at the time, were her motives. Wayne, Ava, Jelly, and Seth had all played in a previous campaign together, and Wayne and Jelly had become enamored by just how good Seth was. And even prior to that, Ava and Seth had a past campaign together. Jelly wanted to be a player in a Seth run campaign. And if Wayne was going to have a second campaign on the channel, she wanted it to be Seth's, and she wanted to be a player in it.
And so, immediately, any and all discussion about me running a campaign was ceased, and the legwork was put forth for Seth to run a campaign. Wayne would approach him about it, and he was interested. Seth would already have in mind the players that he wanted for it - two friends of his from outside the server, Ava, and another player from the Wayne campaign. Noticeably missing from that list - Jelly.
Strangely, Wayne would then tell Seth that if he was going to run a campaign on the channel, he would have to have an application process for the players, and open it up so that anyone could apply. After Seth had already stated he already had players in mind - players who already said yes. I don't know about you, but as a DM, I would never let someone dictate to me who I could have at my table. If I have players in mind already, it's because I have a reason. But Wayne demanded an application process be followed, and a second LFG post would appear in LFG for the Seth run campaign - that was noticeably advertising for 4 players. After Seth had chosen his players. The advertisement came with another well edited and narrated youtube promo that was, and still is, the highest viewed video on the channel. And all of it was a sham. Which I knew it was. And I confronted Wayne about it. It was then that I learned some unsavory backstory involving Ava and Jelly and the prior campaign. That is not my story to tell. I have shared my accounts of events with Ava, and she is considering posting an account from her perspective following this. The most I am willing to say on this is that involves situations that should never be okay at a DnD table, and that Wayne would gloss over and sugarcoat these situations as no big deal. It would lead to Ava not being comfortable with being at a table with Jelly which both I, and Seth, would understand.
Wayne, however, found this to be unfair and manipulative on Ava's part. Those past incidents should have had no bearing on Jelly's consideration for the Seth run campaign. Which is why he would demand an application process. He would then confide to me when I questioned the duplicity of the LFG advertisement that it wasn't completely misleading. There would still be someone chosen from the list of applicants - because he was going to make sure that Ava wasn't part of the campaign. After Seth had already told both Wayne and her that she was. After the players for that game had already come together for a session zero. He claimed that Ava had prior incidents of being difficult to work with, and that because he wasn't involved in the campaign, he couldn't be there to handle any situations that might arise of conflicts between players at the table. At the time I thought that was an odd statement to make - if you are trusting enough of another person, like Seth, to run a campaign on your channel shouldn't you be trusting enough in their ability to handle problems between players? Looking back now, I can only assume he made that statement because he was certain that Jelly would be a player at the table, and that problems might arise between Jelly and Ava. He asked that I keep the conversation between us. But that was something I could not do. None of that situation felt right to me. Wayne, Ava, and I had been friends playing games together for nearly a year now. I never saw any inclination of Ava being a "problem player" - she was great at the table, and a great person to hang out with. And I found it weird that Wayne would say those things about her, and not approach her about it. So of course I talked to her. For weeks she had been sharing her excitement of the new campaign with me, often with Wayne in the voice channel with us. Ava would then share with me her past experiences with Wayne and Jelly. Again, it is not my story to tell, but I am a good judge of character. I believed Ava's account of events. It made sense to me, with how Wayne and Jelly acted.
I wish I could say this story had a happy and/or satisfying conclusion. I'm not even really sure if there is a point to it, or even if it will be a good read. It has been clear for some time now that Wayne has been entirely obsessed with the growing of his Youtube channel, damn any and all bridges burned, and walking back some of his initial promises of what he claimed the campaign and the Youtube channel would be. It's also very clear to me that Wayne is someone who absolutely has to have control over everything, especially the narrative (fictional and real life).
There are so many minor grievances to air about Wayne that I haven't already touched on, and I feel like I've already taken up too much of your time already. Here's just a brief overview, I'd be more than happy to go into more details if you want them:

• Multiple players from the Wayne campaign confided in me about some of the problems they had with Wayne and how the game was being run. When Wayne found out, he blew his lid, and said that he was both Manager and HR, and no one should be complaining to anyone outside of the table. If they were going to complain to anyone, it should be him.
  
  • It turns out, Wayne has a prior history of being an asshole. Long before the Youtube channel, and the campaign, even before the previous campaign, he told his then group that they were playing the game wrong. He then found a new group, sang their praises to the old group, and then even brought both groups together to show the old group "the right way to play"
  • In addition to Wayne, he has two editors working for him. One of which he pays. The other one has had no compensation. The one not getting paid is doing the same work as both Wayne and the paid editor combined.
  • I mentioned way early on in the story that Ava was the Discord Administrator for the Discord server. After the Seth campaign incident, Wayne unceremoniously removed Ava as Administrator, told her it was "by mistake", and never put it back. As far as I can tell, there was nothing to warrant this other than control. I suspect it was because there were certain Seth campaign related channels or other channels he didn't want Ava to see.
  • The unceremonious removal of myself and Ava from the Youtube channel admin. Admittedly, we contributed very little to it, but it was removed without a word mentioned.
  • Recently making a post requiring his "talent" to purchase a minimum $5 dollar Patreon subscription. He has admitted to me the reasoning for this was to inflate Patreon subscriber numbers to entice new subscribers. He has since walked that back after much outcry from the "talent"
  • Asking Seth if it wouldn't be too much to convert his envisioned DnD campaign into a Daggerheart campaign, because Daggerheart is the new hotness, and will attract more viewers.

Ultimately, I suppose I feel disheartened and deceived. Deceived because I originally signed up for what I thought was going to be a bunch of friends sitting around and recording themselves playing quality DnD, and it has shifted so far from that original purpose. Wayne is obsessed over subscriber numbers and views, it's all he ever talks about. He claims that his goal is to reach a level of success to which all 10+ people involved will be able to achieve financial freedom (which he claims is roughly $2000 a month). I'm sure you've done the math, just like I have. Even if you believe $2k a month is financial freedom (I certainly don't), that comes out to $240,000 a year. That's an insane level of success to promise your players. Oh, I'm sorry, your "talent".
I feel disheartened because....there's actually good work being done here. Some of the players are some of the best I've ever played with. Wayne can actually be a good storyteller, when he's not pushing for likes or clicks. The editors do a really fantastic job. I have seen and listened to the work being done on the Seth campaign (luckily Wayne is only tangentially involved), and Seth's campaign is turning out to be something really special. There is something good being done here, but it seems so tainted by Wayne and his obsession for Youtube and Tiktok success. So, maybe this is an RPG Horror Story, maybe it's a cautionary tale. I dunno. I have committed to finishing out my run in the campaign, (I was brought back to the table multiple times because the players enjoy playing with me, and also I suspect I was involved in one of his highest viewed shorts), but my hearts not in it. I've told Wayne I've no interest in any of his future projects, and I wish him well on his Youtube journey. But in the pursuit of clicks, and likes, and subscribers, I feel like he has fundamentally lost what attracts people to actually watch and invest in TTRPG actual plays - authenticity.

at this point, nobody is surprised to hear about how the small businesses in lawrence pretend to be something that they’re not. anyone who has worked at a downtown/downtown adjacent business can tell you how different things are behind the scenes. every business has its own version of service culture. people tend to hang out where they work and/or with their coworkers. restaurants usually cultivate unhealthy drinking habits with post-work drink traditions. coffee shops and bakeries that underpay employees, using tips to compensate an hourly wage. bars that encourage unhealthy drinking and drug habits, exploit women who work for them, and have harassment or assault allegations. retail shops that buy cheap unethically produced products and sell them as “handmade”, then force the employees to be salespeople as an excuse to not pay them a proper hourly wage. i think it’s clear to many that it’s nearly impossible to have a completely ethical business practice. although, there’s a certain bad taste that comes with the facade that lawrence small businesses create a positive community. most people that you talk to can tell you how they’ve lost hope for a better work environment through working at business after business where the employers don’t respect or value those that work for them. it’s a special kind of exploitation when you are sold the idea that a smaller businesses can teach you skills and give you freedom and experience that corporate places can’t/won’t. there are very few businesses i feel comfortable supporting anymore. i can’t recommend any of the businesses i’m listing below, primarily because of the terrible ownership and treatment of their employees. (focusing mostly on the downtown area) - Javabreak - 715 - Basil Leaf Cafe - Wheatfields - Great Harvest - Cellar Door Cafe (& Decade when they were still open, same ownership) - Sunflower Outdoor & Bike Shop - Sylas & Maddy’s - ATC - Wildman - The Mad Greek - Minsky’s - The Striped Cow/Third Planet (same ownership) - Leroy’s - The Burgerstand - Merchants - Bon Bon/Taco Zone (same ownership since TZ was bought out) - Henry’s/Grounded (same ownership) - Wildside - Logie’s (probably doesn’t even need to be said, but i’ll include it just because) - Milton’s - Culinaria - Lawrence Beer Company - Wine & Dive - 1900 BarkeBarker on Mass/Taylor’s Donuts (same ownership) - Jazzhaus - McClain’s - Limestone - Louise’s/Big Mill (same ownership) I’m sure there are more places I’m missing, feel free to list them below

TANKDOM!
I'm so glad my idea of doing a solid for Dracula by mentioning the town forum on air worked so well. It was totally my idea and not Caroline's. Don't listen to her. Probably isn't going to rain today.
Let me break down how this works. I, Hank 'The Tank' Jefferson, review the top stories on the forum and you, The Tank Nation, get to hear my unfiltered views on these posts because I am using voice to text software. That's right, no editing, just my first thoughts and- no, Todd, I don't edit it. Stop distracting me and go order another round! Where was I, oh yeah!
HOT TAKES!

• Alright, first up, some dumbass not seeing the beauty in late night street racing. Hey, Kevin, do you still have that blue Mustang? Oh, your kid does, well then he's doing a bang up job driving it. Just like his old man! [laughter detected]. Anyway, Rice Farmer, if that is your real name, lighten up. Let kids have fun! NEXT!
• I don't know why you need to announce you are visiting. This isn't an airport. I guess I'll see what these suggestions are...loading...loading...man, we need to talk to Cedar about these load time. ah, lets see... Parks- Dumb. Packard Mill- don't know why people would stay away, that place rocks. The Pub- banned...banned...banned...I don't see O'Malley's mentioned, so clearly people missed the point of suggesting the best places in town. NEXT!
• Bike lanes. Bikes are for children. Children don't need their own lanes. NEXT!
• Man, why is everyone always ragging on Susan! She's a sweetheart and trying to- huh, oh, not Susan Piper, the other one? Oh yeah, she's a bitch. NEXT!
• Oh a joke! I'll click in...Is the joke that you keep doing unpaid work for the city? You need to value yourself better, man. Also, ramen is for poor people. NEXT!
• Oh shit! Marble Bandit is back! SCOTTY SCOTTY SCOTTY! Did you know Marble Bandit is back? Me either! You think he wants to get drinks while he's in town! I don't have his number, do you? Well, can you ask around. I'm sure someone has it. NEXT!
• Yarn Bitch welcoming people- BORING. NEXT!
• James, man, we've been over it so many times. The multiple 15th street thing is only confusing if you make it confusing. The system is so easy. Come by O'Malley's and I'll explain it again. Fine, TODD will explain it again. Happy now? No I don't always take credit for things you do. Now give me that beer I ordered.

I'm bored now. I don't know how that little twerp who stole my idea does this. Whatever, I got it in before him. No I totally turned off the mic. I swear I did. Oh sh-

• Okay, where was I...Garden Gnomes? Is that prank going around again? Yeah, I know it's not original, I'm just asking if it's going around again! Listen, sweetheart, the kids in this town like to mess with garden gnomes. I don't know why you are making a fuss about all this. NEXT!
• I have told you a million times, Dracula, just pay off your HOA not to fine you anymore and you can do whatever you want. You make things too complicated. NEXT!
• Another pothole post...huh, fine, I'll click in. Oh, it's about that ramen. Yeah, see, this guy gets that it's a bad idea to repair things for free! NEXT!
• Listen here, sweetheart, your water wouldn't taste funny if you didn't choose to live in an apartment complex. Get a man and he'll buy you a house...No, that's not sexist to say. That kicker said basically that so I can say it too! I'm tired of you all trying to give opinions on my opinions. I'm just going to stop. No I'm not being chicken!

Until next time, I'm Hank 'The Tank' Jefferson. You stay classy Lower Duck Pond!

RaveReport: Apokalypse by SixSixSounds at MTW in Offenbach(Frankfurt am Main)
This was my first techno party in Frankfurt, as I arrived by train I first looked at the station district, I've never seen so many pipes in my life... and I don't really want to be out there at night.
Frankfurt is a big city, a city of extremes - no other German city has as many skyscrapers as here. What else is extreme is the club culture. After Berlin, Frankfurt is the birthplace of techno in Germany, the Dorian Grey, a legend that I am familiar with but which closed its doors for good before I was born.
Arrived in Offenbach, after quite a long journey from our pre-drinking(6beer) we finally arrived in Offenbach. A short walk together with other clubbers separates us from our destination. The MTW, which advertises the finest hard techno, where Rhian Woods, Amabam and my favorite artist Jazzy are playing today, I have long since decided to go to this event and have been able to buy earlybird tickets for 12€, a very fair price for such a good party.
You can also tell that FFM is a city of extremes by the fact that there is not just one club at the MTW location directly on the Main, but two. Robert Johnsen is housed in the same building.
About the club itself: there were 2 floors, a large floor with space for over 300 dancers and a smaller one with just under half the capacity. Both floors were danceable as boilers, there was no barrier that would have prevented you from leaving directly behind your favorite artist.
The ceilings of the main floor are huge, 4-5 meters high, in the middle hangs a huge disco ball with a diameter of over one meter.
The sound system consists of a row of subs directly in front of the DJ, the tweeters hang from the ceiling, what I would like to point out and have not seen that often but think is very good is a decibel display that permanently measures over 100DB and occasionally goes up to 110.
At the bar you can buy earplugs which cost just one € :)
The 2nd floor is also a boiler, where you can dance all around the DJ, the system is a little weaker and the lighting technology leaves a lot to be desired, unlike on the main floor where an LJ flashes the strobes to the thunderous drops blaring from the speakers.
Both clubs are connected by a huge outdoosmoking area where there is plenty of but not enough seating, from here you have a beautiful view of the skyline that rises out of the sky in Frankfurt.

• -

When we enter the club it's 0 o'clock, it's already a bit busy, you have to wait at the cloakroom which costs 2€ until you can hand in your jacket.
First we get a beer, the best value for money is a wheat beer which is served in a glass, you pay €4.5 for a half, which is actually really fair.
Rhian Woods starts playing at one o'clock and he definitely knows what he's doing. He gets the crowd in the perfect mood for the next DJ:
But my favorite act was Jazzy, who played directly afterwards.
Topless with an undercut and taped nipples, she stands behind her desk and heats up the dance-crazed crowd, she gives me the rest. As a first row dancer, I sometimes have the feeling that I'm not getting enough air because the bass is so thumping. It's dirty, a “main character” climbs onto the subs to dance in an elevated position for all to see, restricting the view of Jazzy...
Musically, the techno she played was fast, hard and merciless, there were no breaks or quiet moments in her set, and she got more and more into it. At the end, she played Schranz, which you could even have hooked if I could have.
After Jazzy it got even harder, but my energy dwindled, in the club I only drank water from 2 o'clock, the toilet situation was okay, at least you could fill up your bottle. I even missed Ambam because I left the club shortly before 6 o'clock. Outside the door I even met Jazzy and shyly asked her if I could take a picture with her, with her sweet feminine voice which is the complete opposite of her music, she was also very happy about this fan moment.
In the 6 hours I spent in the MTW, I danced 30,000 steps, which is an average of 2 per second. That speaks for itself and for the evening.
The crowd was nice, I met some cool people and I was recommended to visit the Tanzhaus.
All in all, a very, very nice club visit, despite the 2-hour walk home.
4,5/5

I have a 2003 Jeep Liberty Limited. Yeah, I know… it’s old enough to buy a beer, but it only has 130,000 miles and is mostly in decent shape for its age. Lately, though, it has a habit of not starting when I turn the key. It has a new battery and all the electrical things seem to work, the dash lights come on with the first click, but nothing happens when I turn the key to the start position. If I come back two hours later, it may start just fine. It will start over and over just fine for a few days, then just not start again out of the blue. Any ideas of things to consider that would cause symptoms like this?
I ran some codes on it, and while it does show several codes, none jump out at me about this particular problem. I’m listing them, though, in case they are relevant.
P0123 Throttle switch A circuit high P1494 Leak detect pump pressure switch Transmission control module under voltage Transmission control module valve power feed failure Antilock brake FR and LF wheel sensor failure PoweMemory Seat/Mirror module 51 open ISO coil rear
Any ideas would be appreciated. We’re at a value for the vehicle at this point where it doesn’t make sense to throw a couple of thousand dollars into it, but if there were something I could replace myself, I might squeeze another year or two out of it.

I'm writing this after yet another night of drunken delirium. I'm not sure what exactly my goal is with posting this, but this is my first time ever sitting down and writing out my thoughts, putting out my close-kept experience to the world.
I'm a 28 year old guy living in a big city. I'm in a relationship, and we've been together for two years.
For YEARS, alcohol and cigarettes have been a huge dependency. I've gone back and forth, taken breaks, been good about my consumption, then hit rock bottom. I do better, but then I slip again. Rinse & repeat. For the past several weeks, though (5 to 6 weeks), my addiction has plummeted to a place worse than I've ever been. Almost every single night, I break down and buy a pack of beer and inevitably drink 6-12 beers and chain smoke til I can't walk straight. Sometimes I'll fall asleep on the couch, to make my way to bed early in the morning. Sometimes I go to bed right away, only to toss and turn for the rest of the night, worrying my partner about my sleep habits.
My partner does not like that I smoke, at all. It's been a problem we've been open about for a while, and I've assured him that I'm trying to quit. It's gotten to the point where he thinks I'm only smoking 1 or 2 a day, while in reality I'm sneaking outside repeatedly to get a smoke in. This goes hand in hand with alcohol. He thinks I'm drinking 1 or 2 a night, but the truth I keep to myself. He's aware that I have a drinking problem, but is nowhere close to the truth. I've been pretty careful to not let him see my used up cans / bottles, but the pressure and anxiety that comes from covering up my problem is getting to me.
I have a stable job that I've worked for 4 years, and have since had the opportunity to kind of work as I please. The opportunity this presents for my addictive personality is bleak. At this point, I am able to stay at home in the morning and do whatever I want, without anyone really knowing what I'm up to. I could be working for all they know, or I could be goofing off and shirking my work. Most of the time I do get work done, but the stress of hoping no one catches on to my behavior is also quite draining. I have one person that reports to me, and thankfully, she has a very high acumen to handle things while I'm away. That being said, we have a sort of unspoken understanding that if she doesn't ask what my deal is, all will be well. It's quite manipulative on my part, but I've always been this way to some extent. I've learned to be comfortable with the chaos and sliding under the radar.
Several months ago, I saw a psychiatrist to get back on a stimulant that I was on in high school. Back then, I was diagnosed with pretty severe ADHD, so I took Vyvance to help me focus and get work done. My symptoms are quite thematic with what other ADHD'ers experience, and being on the stimulant has been a major boon to my productivity and the things I can get done. That being said, I'm full well aware that the ability to get drunk off my ass, then take the stimulant in the morning to overcome my hangover (which is a quite powerful tool) is a major problem. It allows me to perpetuate my behavior, and rise to solid dopamine levels halfway through the day. I return to normal, get shit done, and convince myself that everything is alright. By the time the day is winding down, I grab myself some beers, and start the ritual all over again.
Like I said, this has been going on for well over a month at this point, and my daily cigarette intake has skyrocketed to 8-10 per day. It's never been that bad. I'm tired, stressed, anxious, depressed, and completely dissatisfied with every aspect of my life. I don't know what to do, and thinking about working myself out of this pit is just one more factor that helps me justify going numb and forgetting my problems.
I'm worried for my health, and when I actually think about what I'm doing to myself, concerned that I might just drop dead.
Like I said, I don't know exactly what I hope to gain from writing this, but if anyone has any sage wisdom or advice... I'm more than willing to listen.

Kadillac Kirk had been a good friend of mine for several years. I had met him through friends from The Spring Stage; and he never had anything to do with The Imp, which is why he didn’t appear in the Married Mary saga. Mary would have totally thrown herself at him, and Kirk would have definitely “thrown it in her.” He loved the ladies and often remarked that there was no such thing as an unappealing woman, nor was there anything sweeter than finding the pearl of passion in an outwardly plain dame. Fortunately for Kirk, he never met Mary. This was probably fortunate for Mary as well, seeing as Kirk was a confirmed bachelor and his rakish nature might have broken her fat heart.
Kirk was an older guy. Not MOE old, though. He was in his early forties, but he easily passed for a carefree dude in his 30s... not that he lied about his age. I only mention this trait to juxtapose Kirk’s genuine youthful air with Moe’s unconvincing youthful farce. Kirk dressed normally, avoided stupid jargon, and never busted out gimmicks like tarot cards or spells. He just existed, behaved affably, and people liked him for it.
He drove a classic 1962 Cadillac El Dorado convertible with red leather interior, and he lived in a charmingly quaint (and ridiculously expensive) neighborhood. How he made his fortune remained a mystery, but he never bloviated about his wealth. He just threw spectacular parties and people showed up. And, to my knowledge, he never tried to lure women into bed with his money (although I’m sure he got his fair share of boom-boom thanks to his digs and his wheels, even if the gold-diggers denied their monetary agendas).
Kirk was legitimately handsome. He was a drummer, he had a full head of black hair, he was clean-shaven, he worked out, and he knew all the hidden gems in Wellsprings. So why hadn’t I tried... or even desired to date him? I don’t know. I just didn’t feel drawn to him like that. He felt like a cool uncle and he had, thus far, never done anything to change my perception. Plus, the age difference weirded me out a little. Kirk didn’t look forty; but knowing that he had so much more life experience than I did created a power imbalance that would have creeped me out if we’d been dating. As buddies, I just felt supremely cool riding in his Cadillac, smoking Fantasia cigarettes, and hitting the speakeasies and jazz clubs I would have never known about if it weren’t for Kirk’s connections.
And he had been a good person to talk to about my romantic woes. He never lecherously suggested that I should date him, and he gave the type of tempered advice that only comes with lived experience. But he often lightly mocked me for my crush on Dennis and he did a hilarious impression of Smegal popping too soon over his “precious.” So when Mary “got me back” by doing whatever she did with to Dennis, I called Kadillac Kirk and told him the drinks were on me if he’d be my designated driver for the night.
Why hadn’t I called Whisky??? Well, A) Kirk was way more fun to hang out with, at least from my past experiences up to that point. And B) I needed to bitch about a boy, something I couldn’t do in good conscience in front of a guy I was dating. So I put on the sexiest plunging halter dress I owned, applied heavy eye makeup and spikey accessories, braved a pair of stilettos, and sashayed out to Kirk’s convertible. I felt like a badass rock star. I probably looked like a try-hard hooker.
Kirk: Daaaaay-um! Somebody really did do a number on you, huh? I know you said you were upset, but the gents are gonna be writing thank you notes to that fat girl and that butt-fucking hobbit.
Me: I just need to feel pretty and numb. And I trust you to keep me from making a fool of myself.
Kirk squeezed my shoulder. “I’ve got you. You do whatever you need to do to get rid of these demons.”
He sparked up a J and offered me the first puff. I gladly accepted. He took one puff of his own, but said that the rest was mine since he didn’t want to drive stoned. See? He was responsible! Weed wasn’t legal in California yet, so I got a little bit baked before I stashed the sativa in the glove box and wrapped a scarf around my hair like a starlet from the Golden Age of Hollywood. Kirk sped out of the parking lot and said he was taking me to a downtown hotel that was hosting a party that night in their lush lobby.
Kadillac Kirk pulled up to the main entrance, paid the valet, and then opened my door. I was wobbly from the weed. And I had stupidly decided to wear heels. You can get high or you can wear high (heels). You can’t have both. Not if you’ve repeatedly injured both ankles (as I have). I had to take Kirk’s arm to keep from keeling over. “Can people tell I’m stoned?” I whispered. Kirk replied, “Nobody’s paying any attention to anyone else’s intoxication. I promise you that much.” I nodded, steadied myself, and strutted alongside my very cool friend, feeling a little more confident.
A live jazz orchestra was playing Cole Porter as we entered the lobby. Everything sparkled. The music was even more intoxicating than the spliff had been. “Just One of Those Things” brought tears to my eyes since the lyrics hit every raw nerve regarding the Dennis debacle. But I smiled. It might sound mental, but being distraught over a trash fire of a one-sided romance was exhilarating. Immature, for sure. But also exhilarating. You see, that kind of sadness doesn’t hurt. Not really. It stings. It leaves little bruises, but it’s very safe to wallow in because you haven’t actually lost anything. Melancholia over that which you never had is as sweet as it is bitter; and that type of twisted splendor is rivaled only by Stendhal.
“Here's hoping we meet now and then. It was great fun, but it was just one of those things.” I sang along with the band, and a fat tear rolled down past my melancholic smile and onto my chin. Kirk brushed it aside. “Too close to home?” I wiped away the remnants of the tear’s journey from eye to chin and smiled a more genuine smile. “The perfect distance from home. Shall we get drinks? Remember, I’m buying.”
Kirk: No, no. This is your time to heal. And I’m here as your pal, not your chauffeur. What would the lady like?”
I pretended to barf. Kirk knew I hated it when he got overly formal and overly attentive. So he did it just to mess with me. “Shot of vodka,” I replied.
Kirk: How many?
I thought briefly. “FIVE.”
Kirk: Five to one, baby. One in five...
Me: No one here gets out alive.
Kirk: Are you able to hold yourself upright, or should you come with?
I took a seat on an ornate, damask-upholstered chaise lounge. “I’ll be okay. And I was kidding about the five shots.”
I sat there lost in the music for a while. I thought very little about Dennis. Even less about Mary. And not at all about Whisky (whom I had shagged less than a week ago). My mind danced through the ornate lighting in the hotel lobby, and I suddenly felt the need to join the hoity-toity guests on the dancefloor!
Kirk returned with four shots of vodka. Two for him, two for me. That was quite reasonable of him. He knew damn well that I couldn’t handle five shots, but he also knew that I was in a... state. One that called for more than a single shot. I raised a both miniature glasses to “No more ninnyhammers or hairy-footed lovers.” Kirk did his hilarious Smegal impression, we double-toasted, and downed the shots. The band launched into “Let’s Misbehave,” and I kicked off my stilettos and made a beeline for the dance floor.
“There’s something wild about you child that’s so contagious. Let’s be outrageous! Let’s misbehave.” Kadillac Kirk swept me up, twirled me around, and dipped me as we both sang along with the lyrics. I wasn’t swooning for him, but I was enthralled by the moment. The music, the dancing, the combination of booze and bud... so I kissed him as he pulled me back to my feet. And he kissed back. In a way that Dennis never had. In a way that Whisky’s beard wouldn’t permit. I didn’t feel the visceral sensations that I’d felt when Dennis had kissed me, but it felt nice to feel desired. And then I noticed that other guests were watching us and applauding. Now, that was a dopamine rush if ever there was one!
I gently broke away from the embrace, high-fived Kirk and returned to the chaise lounge to put my stupid shoes back on. He followed me and smashed his face back onto mine. I pulled away and laughed. “It was a moment,” I told him. “I appreciate the dance, and that kiss was the perfect finale. But it’s not happening again.”
Kirk: Not to worry, Valerie. I know you. I knew all along that we were performing, and I was more than happy to be your scene partner.
Me: And dance partner! Those were some excellent moves! I didn’t know you had ballroom training.
Kirk: You name it, I’ve mastered it. Another drink for the lady?
I pretended to barf again. “Not yet. I’m not sad right now. Do you mind if I just sit here and enjoy the music?”
Kirk: Ah. My kisses do have healing properties...
I flipped my hand up at him. “Knock that shit off, bro. I wanted to hang out with you because I trust you not to get weird. Even if I get weird, I know you have the maturity to balance me out.”
Kirk: Are you calling me old???
Me: No. I’m calling you rational, responsible, and respectful.
Kirk: Well, now. If you can articulate an alliterative statement that fluently, then you clearly aren’t drunk enough!
I dismissed this comment as a joke. And he did indeed knock off the flirtation. We had a perfectly pleasant time chatting and dancing (no more kissing, though). And then I noticed a girl I knew from Into the Woods entering the lobby. She’d played Florinda and I’d played Little Red. I called her name and waved enthusiastically. She waved back. And then her date entered. It was D.E.N.N.I.S. I sank into the chaise. Kirk caught on immediately. “The hobbit???” he asked. I nodded silently. “You wanna make out again?” he enthused. I shook my head. I had to go say hello to Flo. And I had an idea...
I crossed the lobby, smiled, squealed, and hugged her.
Florinda: Lil’ Red! It’s been forever! So glad to see you!!! This is my friend, Denny.
From the corner of my eye. I could see Dennis shifting uncomfortably. I refused to look directly at him, neglected to acknowledge Flo's introduction and continued to converse only with her. "So glad to see you, too! What have you been up to since we left the woods?"
Dennis: C’mon, Val...
Florinda (appearing oblivious to the iciness between me and Dennis): Oh, I had some drama after the show closed. I'll have to tell you about it some other time... Have you seen Prince Big Bad (Scumbanger) lately?
I laughed. “Last time I saw him, he was hitting on some nasty fat chick at The Imp.”
Flo and I both scoffed at the pervy pest. Into the Woods was where I’d initially met Scumbanger. He played The Wolf/Cinderella’s Prince. Again... typecasting. There’s a whole essay in my brain about my first encounter with the pest, during which he quoted the song that he sang to me in the show, “Hello, Little Girl.” But it gets into some pretty uncomfortable territory because he made me feel... excited. Well, excited and scared. Nothing of note happened during Into the Woods, but our odd interactions did kind of set the stage for some extremely regrettable events during that Cats cast party.
I excused myself, saying that I needed to get back to my friend. And then I leaned in and said in a hushed voice to Flo, “Watch your ass with that one. If he’s the Denny I’m thinking of...” I gave her a look that only another female would be able to read. Her eyebrows shot up and she nodded. Dennis continued to shift as though he were trying to hold in a massive dump. “BABE! Uh...”
Flo apparently answered to that moniker as well. “What is it, Denny? Don’t worry. That was just telepathic girl talk. You apparently have a reputation...”
Dennis: Different Denny. I assure you I’m a pious gentleman.
Me: Ah. My mistake. Well, then. You guys have a good time! They’re playing Cole Porter, and the band is delovely. Great to see you, Flo!
I hugged Flo again, gave Dennis a curt nod, ignored the scent of mandarins and mountain air, and returned to Kirk.
I collapsed on the chaise lounge, exhausted from holding back the rage. I had no right to be mad at Florinda. I hadn’t seen her in three years, so how was she supposed to know that I’d had a thing with Dennis? Hell, I couldn’t even be mad at Dennis because the last time he and I had spoken in any meaningful way, I’d told him that I was no longer entertaining my crush on him. So why was I surprised to see him dating??? And why had he never taken ME out on a date like this??? And why wasn’t I smitten with Kadillac Kirk who HAD taken me out on a date like this, was an objectively excellent kisser, and a bona fide BALLER? What was wrong with me???
Kirk suggested going down the street to a quaint little bar and then sobering up at a diner closer to my apartment. I numbly nodded and followed him in silence for a few blocks. He assured me that I had “turned several heads” on the way to the new location, but I neither cared nor believed him. This wasn't the type of numbness I'd been aiming for. Now I needed to get schnockered. “Five shots of vodka, please.” Yes, I was serious.
Kadillac Kirk, my reliable designated driver, ordered only a beer and watched in something across between astonishment, concern, and delight as I slammed all five shots in rapid succession. I half expected to immediately retch all over the bar. But I felt fine. I half expected to immediately lose consciousness and wake up in the hospital. But I remained coherent. How I’d managed to take in that much hard liquor and suffer no direct consequences, I’ll never know.
I think I wanted to suffer. I wanted to either feel nothing at all or to feel a sickness bad enough to distract me from the scorching sting that pulsed through my being when I realized that I had lost the abstract notion I’d been addicted to this entire time. Hope. It wasn’t Dennis himself I couldn’t quit. It was that drug called hope. The hope that maybe, just maybe Dennis would give our romance a fair chance. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would make peace with himself, get his mind out of his crotch, and enjoy some agenda-free togetherness. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would stop bloviating about his admittedly impressive accomplishments for five fucking minutes and ask about my life. I had my own reasonably impressive accomplishments, even if they paled in comparison to his. A proper suitor would have enjoyed hearing about them.
But seeing him out with another woman, a woman who had no reason to parade her Dennis escapades before me as some means of revenge, a woman he was clearly courting of his own volition... My hope had died. It died before I’d had time to wean myself off it. Now I had to mourn the loss of hope, which is a very tricky brand of grief to navigate. Vodka wasn’t the answer, but it was what I had to work with. So it would have to do.
After enough time had passed without vomiting or collapsing, I asked Kirk to bring his car around to the bar so that I didn’t have to walk two and a half blocks drunk and in heels. He nodded and dramatically leaned in for a kiss. I recoiled. “DUDE! I told you. The moment has passed.”
Kirk: I beg your pardon. I misread your eyes. Thought I saw a green light...
Me: It’s fine. I just want to go home while I’m still feeling okay.
Kirk: Of course. Your chariot will be here soon.
He skipped off to fetch his Cadillac and I noticed that the lights in the bar were beginning to dance a bit. This should have been concerning. But then I realized that I was giggling. Wait... What? Oh shit. Sure, I was drunk from those shots. But what I was feeling in that moment wasn’t drunkery. It was stonery. Kirk probably misread my face because my pupils were dilated. Not from desire, but from drug use.
Some of you might be thinking that I was a bad friend for not introducing Lucy, an old dude connoisseur, to Kirk. Well... I did. Several years before the events of this story. He adored her. She, on the other hand, thought he was immature. And she wasn’t wrong. Lucy was astute when it came to sussing out a person’s true nature. Far more astute than I. Her initial assessment that Kirk was immature is about to be vindicated. Stretch those cringe muscles! It’s almost time for pie...
I somehow managed to get to his car. I honestly don’t recall how I got there. Did one of the bartenders carry me? Did some kind patron allow me to lean on him? Had Kadillac Kirk carried me out? I’m not sure. But my memory ceases to be fuzzy about halfway to the 24-hour diner. It might have been the very same 24-hour diner where Mary pulled her... shenanigans. I’ll never know.
Kirk: Would you say that you’re more drunk or more stoned?
Me: STONED. Definitely stoned.
Kirk made some sort of grunty noise and reached for my thigh. I slapped his hand.
Kirk: Stoned but not amorous? That’s rare.
I started laughing rather unkindly. “You’re a fucking horndog! I thought you were my safe straight male friend, dammit.”
Kirk: I solemnly swear that your safety is my primary concern, my stoned beauty.
I pretended to throw up.
Kirk: So... You’re not horny. But are you hungry? The diner I’m heading to makes this Maple Walnut Pie with the most sumptuous... sensual cream and exquisite drizzling of...
Me: Ew! Stop trying to bang the pie. Bro. Are YOU stoned? (Then I remembered the question.) Yes, I’m hungry. But I don’t like nuts. I’ll have banana cream.
Kirk made that repulsive grunty noise again. “Uhhhhh... Mmmmmm. Cream. Yessssss. Yes, we’ll be there in just a minute.” He was squirming in the driver's seat.
Me: GROSS, DUDE! If you’re gonna be like that I’ll just order HASH brows. Get it? Hash??? (I giggled.) You can’t make that sound nasty.
Kirk: Forgive my jokes. I think my blood sugar’s a bit low.
As Kirk parked, I began to wonder how I might get away with walking shoeless into the diner. The stilettos had to get off my feet. At least while I was walking. And Kirk was kind enough to give me his socks and wear his loafers “island style” into the establishment. Okay, that was gallant of him. Maybe he was going to behave himself for the rest of the evening.
I wasn’t terribly talkative as we sat down, and he expressed a bit of concern for my emotional well-being. I wasn’t coherent enough to explain what was happening to my emotions and I wasn’t sure I trusted him with my deep, dark secrets at that point. So I shrugged like a sulky teenager, ran my hands over my messy, windblown hair, and mumbled that I was “just hungry.” And right on cue, a very kind, slightly older waitress with a sweet southern accent stopped by to take our order.
Kirk: Ah, yes. We’ll have two cups of black coffee. And we’ll share a slice of that delectable Maple Walnut Pie.
Waitress: Oh, honey. That pie is scrumptious! I take it you’ve been here before?
Kirk: I have. This will be her first time to taste the splendor.
I hated to be a killjoy, but I interrupted and said to the waitress, “Ma’am? I’m sure the Maple Walnut is excellent, but could I please get a slice of Banana Cream? And a big glass of ice water?
Waitress: Sure, hon! Banana Cream’s just as yummy! I’ll be right back with those coffees and that big water.
Kirk was sucking on the tip of his forefinger and shaking his head a bit. “You’re passing up so many sensational... sensual...”
I put my forehead on the table and growled. “You swore you’d stop being nasty!” I held this #headdesk pose for quite some time before I finally lifted my head... only to see that Kirk was still sucking his fingertip and staring at me like a wild animal. “Pleeeeeease be normal,” I whined. “It’s been a really weird night for me.”
Kirk: Indeed. Many surprises. You know... You’re like titanium. Your flame burns so fast and so bright, if a guy doesn’t get in there while the iron is hot, he’ll never get another chance. I was too slow.
What the...? I was pretty sure he was wrong about titanium burning quickly. I’m no chemistry wiz, but my dad and my oldest brother are both big-brains when it comes to physics and chemistry. So I picked up some things just listening to them talk. Accurate or inaccurate, Kirk was being creepy again. He’d never been creepy towards me before, although I’d seen him act like this with other women. Usually with staggering success. Why????? His money. It had to be his money. Kirk was a nice-looking man, but holy shit... No amount of good looks could save this creep show
And then, our sweet waitress sat down our coffees, my water, and the two slices of pie. After I gulped down a whole bunch of water, I grabbed a fork, prepared to quell my munchies... and then I froze. Kirk was quickly flicking his finger back and forth across the top of his pie. And moaning. He noticed my wide-eyed stare, smirked, sucked the tip of his thumb, picked up the plate with both hands, and began flicking his tongue across the tip of the triangular pie slice. And moaning some more. Well, there went my appetite.
Kirk took his middle finger and jabbed it into the crustless vertex of the pie slice, then he began pumping it in and out like a piston, and flicking his thumb across the increasingly demolished top layer of whipped cream. He gasped this time. People were starting to stare. His pointer finger joined his middle finger in the piston action, and he replaced his thumb with his tongue. Between flicks of the tongue, he groaned, “Oh yeah, baby... Let me taste you,” but it was kind of hard to understand him.
And I was either about to run to the back office, tell them that I was in danger and needed a police escort home... OR I was about to burst out laughing at the spectacle. Kirk continued... He removed his fingers and gregariously licked pie filling off of them. "Ohhhhh," he groaned, "I got you soooo sticky. So sweet. So moist." And then he started sucking his fingertips again, switching from middle to pointer, middle to pointer and emitting a delighted little, “Mmmmmm” with every suck.
Finally, he jabbed his fingers back into the utterly destroyed pie, lowered his face into the mess and lapped loudly and passionately, moaning, grunting, and mumbling “Come on, baby. Come on. Mmmmmm. Come on.” I could see the waitress and some dude in a suit heading over to the table, so I sank down in my seat, partially covered my face, but continued to watch the train wreck. At last, Kirk shuddered violently as he splatted his entire hand onto the plate and rubbed furiously. And then he locked eyes with me. He sucked the tip of his thumb one final time and said, “You...” There was a long pause during which Kirk lovingly stroked the mess he’d made. “You... are the pie.”
I don’t hang out with Kadillac Kirk anymore. But he’s still a bachelor, ladies!

A few days ago, I woke up only a little shaky after only having 14 drinks in 36 hours, then I got to work at the liquor store I’ve been working at for 3 1/2 years.
I was out of liquor, (I only buy liquor in single shots these days because I don’t trust myself with a bottle), but I didn’t even drink my usual beer before work because I was actually feeling okay. Then I got there and noticed the shakes were making it hard to dole out change so I bought three shots, hoping they’d take the shakes away if I rationed them out for eight hours.
The first one didn’t do enough, immediately took the second, an hour later I took the third, bought three more, they didn’t last two hours, bought a sleeve of ten shots and two 24oz beers.
My shithead coworkers kept going outside to smoke (both of them, together, when their only job was to run register while I did every single other thing there was to do, while they fuck off on tik tok between customers) so every time I went to stock the cooler or grab something in the back I came out to a line of pissed off customers with no one at the register.
That booze I bought was all gone, except for 1 shot I was saving for when I woke up before work. Luckily I have a stockpile of beer at home. I just started looking at this Reddit a few days ago and it made me hopeful, then I found that hope sapped from me. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to stop drinking in this environment. I’ve had a set-in-stone schedule for two years where I never get two days off in a row, so even when I put up with the withdrawals on my day off it’s never quite long enough to last.
I don’t have any questions or anything for you Reddit, maybe you won't be mad at me for wasting a post
Edit: Didn't read rule one until after I posted so I changed the language to make this sound like a few days ago, can't edit the title though.
Edit Edit: it also kind of sucks that I'm supposed to be sober to post on a subreddit about alcoholism when I'm drunk every hour I'm awake, would someone let me know where I should go to talk about my problem while inebriated?

Terminal of Lorna Pace:
    2079-01-06
        Kurt’s been acting weird lately. Last Tuesday, he and Lillian were seen arguing in the hallway outside the mess. I’ve never seen those two fight. Through the famine, when the bombs dropped, even living down here in this cramped space, I’ve never heard so much as a raised voice coming from them, and today it looked like Kurt was about to strangle Lil. It worries me. If people as sweet as them could start falling apart, what about George and I?
    2085-03-12
        My Pip-Boy scared the wits out of me yesterday! I was sitting around, listening to the radio when suddenly an alarm started going off. It said proximity threat detected. I didn’t know what to do, so I ran out into the hall and called for help. Steve, Eddy, and Doctor Marc all came running. I showed them, and Eddy said it was probably a malfunction and asked if he could take it. But I insisted that Steve look around and Doctor Marc joined him. Next thing I know, they find George, lying on the ground, barely breathing. I thought he’d been attacked, but Doctor Marc took said he had a heart attack. After Steve searched everywhere and George was taken to the clinic, Doctor Marc said he could easily have died if we’d taken much more time to find him. I don’t know what kind of malfunction that was, but someone was sure looking out for us.
    2087-08-11
        I haven’t seen as many people together since the first Christmas after we all got trapped down here. It had only been two months since the world died, and we were all tense. We needed a way to relax and forget the horror that we were living in. The Overseer decided to throw a big holiday party. But no one felt like dancing. No one felt like celebrating. We were all together in a huge room, all something like five-hundred of us. And no one was doing anything more than drinking and muttering. Until George marched up to the Overseer’s podium and started singing. It was ridiculous. There was no music, George was no great singer, and the acoustics were horrendous. But it didn’t matter. George didn’t get embarrassed like that. He started singing to the room, to himself, maybe to me. It didn’t matter. He gave that room the push it needed. Roy Chen took it home, now that man can sing. But he’d never gone more than five feet away from the punch bowl until George went up first. Roy sang again today. Everyone gave kind words. It was nice to see everyone come together. I just wish he could have seen how much he inspired everyone.
    2092-05-27
        I had a nice talk with George today. I told him about the neighbors. We got a new Overseer this week, and he seemed especially interested in that. I didn’t even get to what the Davenport girl did before he got too tired to keep going. I miss when we could talk long into the night. But most people don’t get the chance that I do. I was a mess for a week after the funeral until I saw the pop-up on my Pip-Boy. I don’t understand how it happened, but it saved George once, and I guess it just saved him again in a different way. I know that it’s saved me.
 
   
   
Terminal of Ashley Davenport:
    2080-03-29
        I think my Pip-Boy is malfunctioning. I was out with Lillian McTavish and Eva Tenley, having our little gossip club, when as I went to take a sip of wine, my Pip-Boy started flashing. It was something I’d never seen before telling me to, “Drink more milk.” I don’t think we even have any milk left! I asked the girls about it and they said they’d never seen anything like it. I think it might have been an old ad left over from before the bombs fell, but weren’t these only meant for vault dwellers? I just don’t understand who would use that.
    2086-03-15
        Little Suzie is growing up to be such a sweetheart! She turned five a couple of months ago, and Michael and I couldn’t be prouder! But, we didn’t have anything to give to her. It’s one of the bitter-sweet parts of living in a vault like this. All of our needs are taken care of, but we can’t exactly go to the store and buy the newest knick-knack. I asked Eve if she could make a new dress for her, but she said she’d run out of fresh materials six months ago. She said she could take one of the old dresses and just, you know, make it smaller. But it didn’t feel right. So instead, I know the Overseer said we shouldn’t, but I took off my Pip-Boy and let her play with it sometimes when I’m not using it. I don’t see why she finds it so fascinating, but she seems to love playing with all the knobs and dials on it.
    2086-07-23
        I’m starting to worry about Suzie. I know that kids like to have imaginary friends, especially since we don’t have a lot of other kids to play with down here. But when I was young, I kept my imaginary friend to making mud pies in the yard or written about in my diary. Suzy walks around talking to my Pip-Boy like it’s her best friend. I’m worried that if she keeps this up, her few chances for real friends and, when she’s ready, even a husband might be hurt. She’s just not acting normal anymore. And that’s just… It’s hard enough to hide those things when you’re living in a house with a fence around it. Sometimes I feel like our lives are on display for all to see. You simply can’t let your reputation fall around here or you end up like the McTavish’s.
    2091-01-09
        Suzie just turned ten, and the Overseer said she could officially have her own Pip-Boy now. The way he said it, I think he knew she’d been using mine for years. She asked if she could have mine, saying that if I still needed one that she’d swap mine for whatever one they gave her. I asked her why. She claimed that she was just used to mine, that it reminded her of me. But I know when my daughter is lying to me. I thought we’d cured her of this ridiculous fantasy that this machine was a friend to her. We have actual talking robots that she didn’t get nearly as attached to. I just don’t understand her or what I should do. I told her absolutely not, and that she would get whatever Pib-Boy the overseer and the men in engineering saw fit to get her. She wasn’t happy, but I’m hoping that it helps her finally divorce from this childish fancy of hers.
 
   
   
Terminal of Lillian McTavish:
    2081-04-08
        I don’t understand how Kurt keeps finding out about me. George would have been more embarrassed than I would have been, so I know he didn’t say anything. I know Eva and Eddy can be trusted. Ash wouldn’t risk her dream marriage and that precious baby of hers. And Grahame, the poor dear, died smoking in his bed before he could have gotten the chance. I’ve been careful and discrete, and yet every time I go to have a little fun for myself, he knows. Is he following me? I need to get to the bottom of this if I ever want to experience a night of pleasure again.
    2082-12-28
        Kurt was released today, against all my protests. We’re still technically married, but part of his release was that he had to stay to certain sections of the vault. This place is small, but it’s large enough that we should never have to see each other. He’s also got a new work assignment, and they took away his Pip-Boy. It still makes me nervous to be alone. Every time I’ve turned around for this past year and a half, I’ve been scared he’s going to be there. How am I supposed to feel safe now that he’s free to roam about?
    2087-05-01
        I saw Kurt today. He looked peaceful. Honestly, for a second, he looked happy. He was laughing with some of the security guys over beers and cards. Then he saw me walking by with Calvin Hanson on my arm and his face fell a little. I have to say, mine did too. Our marriage has been effectively over for a long time, even before the bombs fell. And I still don’t think I’d be able to stand to be in a room with him without shaking given what happened. But seeing him there, I was reminded of a better time. A time we made each other happy instead of miserable. When we cared for each other instead of seeing how best to hurt each other. I don’t love him anymore. I can never forgive him. But I suppose I wish it had all turned out differently.
   
   
   
Terminal of Steve Robertson:
    2081-04-14
        I had to put Kurt McTavish into our holding cell today. Virgil and I heard someone screaming halfway across the vault and had to pull him off of Lillian. She was unrecognizable. I’m not sure her face will ever be the same, but the good news is that she’s alive. When we asked him about what happened, he told us, “That damn whore can’t keep her legs shut to save her life.” Virgil asked him about it and how he knew about Lillian stepping out, and he just kept telling us, “I know, and that’s all that matters.” The overseer has final say on how we handle this, but the boys in security want him kept down here. I know Kurt, he’s a good guy. But this is the last thing we need.
    2085-04-10
        I’m either losing my mind or someone is fucking with me. I’m wondering if it’s Eddy. He works with Pip-Boys, I saw him take Lorne’s for maintenance not too long ago. A few days later, mine starts acting up, saying weird shit. Things like, “Don’t trust Virgil,” and, “Watch your back.” Whenever I go to show someone else, it disappears. I took it to engineering, had them run diagnostics and there’s nothing in the logs. I don’t know who’s doing it, I don’t know what they want, but I’m don’t find it funny!
    2085-08-02
        I don’t know what to say. I really thought I was going crazy for a while. I think… I think I did go crazy for a while there. I got paranoid, thinking someone was out to get me, started wearing my gun to bed, thought about shooting Virgil before he could shoot me. Thankfully, I convinced myself I needed evidence. I broke into his living quarters, half expecting to find nothing, half expecting to find a bomb or assassination plans or something. I never expected to find Suzie’s toy car or half of Roy Chen’s wardrobe. Virgil had property from damn near everyone in his sector and several from all across the vault. He even had a few things out of the security lockers, some of it mine. I don’t know how long he’d been stealing while out on patrol, but some of the stuff looked pretty old. The weird thing? Ever since I went in his room and brought it to the Overseer’s attention, my Pip-Boy stopped acting weird.

WARNING! What follows is CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION and should only be viewed by or under the supervision of a VAULT-TEC EXECUTIVE! Failure to follow these instructions will be met with LEGAL and CIVIL ACTION!

Vault commissioned by: RobCo Industries
Location: Sacramento, California
Admittance: 500 members of the general population. No restrictions or special instruction. Pricing and selection can be left to Vault-Tec.
Purpose: To test potential new features to Pip-Boy technology, introducing an advanced form of AI to work as a personal assistant, telling the wearer what they may need or want before they even know they want it.
Experiment: In a select number of Pip-Boys, about 50 of the 750 supplied to the vault, there will be installed an experimental AI meant to predict the user's needs and wants. The ability to field-test an AI like this without it being compared to our previous products, such as the often prone-to-error Mr. Handy or the primitive AI installed in most Protectron models, is extremely limited. First impressions are going to be vital when this comes to market, and having a literally captive audience to test it out on and find any bugs or faults before they even know what it is they're interacting with will be invaluable.
    The AI in these prototype Pip-Boys has the potential to be very powerful, but it's proved incredibly difficult to compress such a complex machine into such a small package. There are more storage and cooling options in the larger robots and machines. This prototype is a little slow and imperfect, but given time it should not only be able to respond to the user but to make predictions or even emulate a personality that can be adapted on the fly. Or, at least, after a long enough time for it to process all the necessary data. It still needs a lot of work, but that's part of the hope of this experiment is to use it as a way to find places where improvements could be made to further improve it and prepare it for market.

Wouldn’t want people to judge me but you feel free to do so.
I met this girl in the park a couple of weeks ago. I used to go to this park with my best friends as there’s a little spot in there where people go walk their dogs. One of my best friends has a female friend who is gorgeous and introduced me to her. Let me be clear, I NEVER cross boundaries like that. I found her very pretty, but I barely spoke to her nor even made an attempt in flirting with her since I knew she had a bf, I even met him a couple of times at the park. I’ve been feeling very lonely so I started going to that park to speak with people. Sometimes we would chat here and there, and we found out we have very very similar music taste, which for me is something that I resonate a lot with. Even then though, I didn’t cross any boundaries, never asked her phone or anything.
Fast forward last Thursday, I was coming home from office with my best friend (we live together right now) and when I arrive I see her in the house. It seems her house’s internet went off and she needed to get homework done. It took me by surprise but I barely spoke with her, as I have always been very respectful with those things. For whatever reason, my best friends had to go out and they left me alone with her. I did some chit and chat with her to not make it awkward but I was planning to leave it at there. She then told me that she needed to go to the pharmacy to buy something and come back, I offered to go with her as there’s a lot of perverts around here sadly, and I always like protecting people in general. We arrive to the pharmacy and she had an exam tomorrow, so she bought two light beers. I told her that it was fine, she might relax a bit more with just one beer. Eventually, since I was very bored and we seemed to vibe, I told her if she could give me one beer, so she did. We eventually just kept talking and she started to open up, as his boyfriend seemed to have cheated on her like three times, and she didn’t seem to want to leave him. This sounds rude but I told her she didn’t have any self love/self respect, I’ve always been very blunt with those kind of things, though I told her that it’s something difficult to have all the time and that it’s okay… Granted, as a side note, she’s 18 and I’m 25. I have always been the kind of person to say I wouldn’t date girls of that age since they are in a whole different personal process, but I guess when it happens it happens… Given her age, of course I knew she was very immature.
In any case, we eventually ended up drinking more and she started to kiss me. We ended up doing this again last Saturday and almost had sex, but my friends ended up breaking everything and took her away.
I’m saying all of this because I never had a relationship, it’s very difficult for me to find these types of connections, and I was extremely sad and cried for a couple of days because it seems I find connection with people that maybe I shouldn’t have connected with.
That same night, after they gave her a ride home, I had a very big discussion with my best friends. I’ve always hated being superficial. People are too complex, and a lot of times we end up doing decisions that we know are not so right… For me it’s part of being a human being man, I know that there’s an objective truth out there, but I also hate having to live off of that without making any mistake or take any risk ever…
It’s been a couple of days and it seems that my best friends are telling me that she already left the other guy, and I told her that same night that I don’t want her to feel bad, that I would carry with whatever she was dealing with. She hasn’t responded, and I have a feeling that she never will.
I feel very sad man and I’m in verge of crying right now, I don’t know if someone has had this situation before, but it’s not a very pleasant feeling to say the least…

This past weekend I threw my buddy a bachelor party. Now he got married in December but because of a scheduling we had to do it after. Little back story I was 1 of 2 best men. The other no showed. In fact. All of my buddy’s invites (family included) no showed for his wedding. So I naturally wanted him to have some great memories. So I planned a weekend in San Diego and deep sea fishing. Invited all his buddies. Paid for everything but their hotel and food. I shopped around and made phone calls and finally settled on a fishing charter.
Well none of my buddy’s friends got back to me except for 1 for 5 months. And I was this kids coach when he was in high school. Hate him. He was also the other best man. So I plan the trip. We were to go to Mexican waters for great fishing. Well the other guy never got his passport even though I told him 5 months ago. So I find this out this past Monday. I call the boat captain and we change the trip to an island trip, way more expensive but supposed to be the best fishing possible In US waters. I told the captain from the get go our goal was not a specific fish, but one you have to use two hands to hold.
I spent 4500 on a trip to catch four fish the size of my shoe. 11 hours. They took us to San Clemente where there were no fishing reports despite Coronado having great reports. Also Multiple issues with the boat.
The other best man didn't pitch in for shit. Didn't book his hotel and tells me when we stop at the grocery store 5 minutes before the hotel. Says he's just gonna get a cot and sleep in my room. Fuck no.
Also while we are at the grocery store he tells the groom that he’s gonna cover his alcohol. He doesn’t. He buys himself two cases of beer and has my buddy buy his own shit. Not a real big deal but I didn’t want the groom to have to cover anything. We go to a steak dinner after our shitty day on the boat. I pay for the groom. We order sides for the table. The other guy doesn’t. Orders one of the most expensive steaks and no sides. Proceeds to eat ALL of the sides from the table. Split a salad with my buddy that went but had my buddy pay.
I type this and I know I’m sounding petty but I’m infuriated.
We come back yesterday. We all rode together. I drove.
Dip shit left his phone in my truck. Asks when I get home. Tell him 330 but leaving right after for the gym. He doesn’t respond. End up not going to the gym. Guess who shows up at my house at 4? Than wants to chit chat outside. I want to strangle this kid.
Flip side. I was really hoping to have a good time on this trip for my own personal gain, just needed a break. My wife and I are trying for a baby. I’ve wanted us to have kids for the last 8 years and she’s wanted to wait. I’m 33.
She just had her second miscarriage. Now she wants to wait again. I’m struggling. Also the groom just announced he’s having a girl.
If that weren’t all, I find myself struggling with our relationship. I am a romantic. Go all out on birthdays and Christmas. Anything to make her feel special. She doesn’t do the same. She’s not affectionate with me. Hardly touches me. Doesn’t ever pursue sex. If I don’t plan something for my birthday we don’t do anything. I get It. Not her love language. But what about my love language.
We do have fun together. Every now and then. I would never consider leaving my wife nor cheating but I truly feel unloved. I know she cares but not like I need/want.
And we’ve talked about it but she chops it up to being my fault or that I only want to have sex or that’s just how she is. I thought marriage was about compromise.
There’s much more but I’ll start with this.
Btw. Been with my wife for 16years. Married for 11.

I am currently staying in Oneonta and working at a site in Hobart NY for this week. I am dumb and didn’t realize I was going to be in prime trout water and also how cheap licenses are around here! I didn’t bring any of my gear, which sucks because I can easily stop off after work and fish a new and historic area.
I am debating on buying some cheap o stuff at wal mart and going for it anyway. Better than sitting and drinking beers at Applebees. After license and a cheap rod combo + flies I am likely looking at around $100. A few questions.

1. How is the west deleware fishing this time of year? Im specifically interested in the section above the reservoir near Hobart where I am working.
2. What are water temps like in the upper section, can I wet wade? I’m not going to buy waders and boots.

If I do go through with my plan, there’s a good chance I just give the wal mart rig away to someone who is new and could use it. I have 7 rods at home, I don’t need a $50 courtland outfit. But I’m sure someone does!

Im in a relation with my wife since High School, since 2010 or so, we both went to the Military first her than me cause im 2 years younger, when she finished i started my journey, during that time in the military it was really hard for me to depart from her, i love and loved her the same since we've met during a school trip abroad, i think for both of us it was a love from the first sight. Since than she was my second half, i can't live without her, can't imagine a day waking up without her hy my side, we had some ups and some downs especially when we were younger, but never seperated for a moment, we had a very strong relationship, we welcomed our son in 2016, it was my happiest moment of my life after our marriage, we married in Prauge, and when we came back home we made another weeding for our friends and family.. At the beginning we had some financial struggle like many other young couples We worked 6/7 days a week, we started to save up, and when i started to notice the stress she experience on her work place i decided to change her life for good, cause such an amazing person like her deserves more than that, so meanwhile i was working at my place i was allowed a smartphone / laptop, and iv started creating our own niche business, worked 8 hours a day + 10 more on our current side project barley slept, ate, lost weight from 90 kilo to 54, i haven't had time to prep meals, but i grinded my ass out, in 2016 we officially staryed making sustainable amounts of money to keep me home to do it full time, and thats when our kiddo was born, so she also had enough financial freedom to stay at home and take care of our child without having all that burden of going to work, nannies, early kindergartens etc.... She stayed at home for the next 5 years raising our child and taking care of him. Since i was working from home i started to drink here and there some whisky, some beers, but not something crazy, i work from home i earn enough money, and she decided to get a small job as extra to save up some money for travelling and buying our first home, we had months with over $100,000 of income, at around late 2018 everything was going up hill, and all of a sudden, our payment methods placed a big halt over our business, and its the first time my life went downhill, I've lost clients, payments were all on hold, for a second my life was at its peak next second felt like im down in the dumps, had to figure out what to do next, had countless hours of research how to sort it out, called every possible banking institution world wide starting from United Stated, endingin Dubai, and thankfully light shined on us, and we made a deal with out local Visa/ and bank to let us accept further payments, we got our first SIP, we starrted to earn again, and life went on perfectly up until my father was diagnosed with throat cancer, where i had to work 24/7 alone on my project and somehow take care of my father, take him to chemo, radiations, countless doctor visits, he won his battle, he came out cancer free and it was a big day for all of us! We were certain that this battle was over, yet a month after he finished his treatment he cold me early morning and said something is wrong, he cough blood, and asked me to rush him to the hospital, dressed up rush on max allowed speed, picked him and my mom up, wife stayed at home with my kiddo, and we went to the emergency room in a hospital 40 Kilometers away from our little town, there he was placed to the emergency room, and we've beem told to wait until a throat doctor will be available to check on him, we wait for over an hour, while i went to speak to the doctors my mom shouted to come help, me and the docots when i approached him, he was holding this toilet thingy where people pee and it was all full of blood, he couldn't take a single breath, he was dying, he tried to stand ip and grasp some air while drowning in his own blood, there was blood everywhere, he was covered in it a huge pool beneth him, at some point he just fainted and me and my mom were the old people around him, while doctors were to afraid tovget closer to him, it was a horror movie, they placed him under few surgeries, his main arthary was punctured and his brain stopped getting oxyen and blood supply, a week later he passed away, while we were giving hope for his survival, one second he was the most happiest men in the world for beating his fight against that horrible thing, next second his helpless eyes knowing he is about to did, trying to ask me for help, it was an traumatic experience for me and my mom, during that year i had horrible nightmares, i heard him gurgle when felt a sleep, i saw blood everywhere, i was depressed that i lost my father in such a horrible way, and during that time my only support was my wife and mom, me and mom helped each other to keep sainity, and here i staryed to drink a bit more, work hard and drink, never fainted never faught or argued with my wife, she was fine with that, and im not talkig about a bottle of whisky a day or something but yeah 6/8 bottles of beer, listened to music while i was doing my job for my clients at this moment she was starting her job at a special store for home stuff, so i took care of my son, fed him, went to the park so he would play with friends, and when she came back home she made meals, some house stuff, showered him, placed him to sleep, and i was her light station before sleep, we talked stuff up, she tried a lil to help me coup with my dads passing, bit she never were able to understand the pain i went through, stuff started to get little better, more Family BBQ partirs, we finally started to laugh, and my mom was shininv, cause she saw me there happy, she saw our kiddo, and she were thankful to her husband that she has us now to fully support her and help her, at this point my mother in law also decided to move from a big city to iur little town to "be closer to her daughter" not really, she started to rent a house a mile away from us, and i was happy that my wifes mother also living near to us, and that my wife will be see her more often, she also become part of our family after years living far away from us, when she came her husband (boyfriend) also started to get sick so she basically dumped him, and he passed away due to unknown reason (its important) we all went to the funeral it was another hit, after my dad he was for me like a second father i could talk too, few month after his passing her my wife grandmother who was living with my wife mom, started to stumble, stopped walking and was bed bound her cognetive functions also went downhill ina month she couldnt recognize her clise ones which was a hard moment for my wife, so she found an elderly house a care home so people will take care of her, while she is keeping all her social security money, a year later the grandmother passed away, i staryed to suspect that something ain't right, first her husband than her mother, but never put enough accent on that, in 2022 around September i started to feel really really ill, i started puking 4-6 times a day,, couldn't hold food, couldn't hold fluids i went to the Emergency place in our city and they gave me pills to stop me from puking, and now i started to stumble, fisr i felt at home when trying to get me some water, next fall occured on my way to the store, and another time when her mom asked me to help her with the computer, it lasted few more days untill i was unable to stand, use my hands i all become stiff my hands stopped worked and finally i was rushed to the hospital after a whole month of hell, when i arrived the Hospital i had memory issues, i couldn't tell what day it is, short memory is gone, i could recognize, wife, mom and kiddo, but i couldn't recall what i ate today, i could say good morning 10 tjmes a day to my wife, my eyes were running left and right that what i was told, i did all checkups at the hospital, they thought a brain injury or tumor, they took spinal fluids, blood work, urine tests, nailz, and hair tests, they couldn't find anything besides one drug test they ran randomly on me, they found around 870 mg of Benzodiaziapm in my blood test, i never even knew what that thing wmis, until my doctor started asking me question about that substance, if i ever took those pills, and i said no, i have no idea what that is and where it came from, when my cognitive functuons started to get better on week 4, i was in the Intensive care, monitors to keep me checked so i wont have lung failure, i asked my wife randomly to check her mom house for those pills, and guess what? She found that same pill box in her kitchen drawer, while she was on vacation with her friend, so we immediately started to suspect her mom, her mom was about go lose her current house and she knew i have a very good business that my wife also helping me earning money, she staryed to ask wierd questions which my friends confirmed, she always asked my wife if she kniws how to run the business, when i heard about that, i was proud of my wife that she finally can help me out at home dealing with clients, thats when my mother in law started to work on a plan to get rid of me, as she did in the past, she pisioned me during september on my 29th Birthday, thats right when i started to feel ill, after i was released from the hospital i left disabled in a wheelchair, my wife had to shower me, help me dress up, and feed me, i was peeing in containers and i couldn't even go number 2 cause from my chest down i lose all muscle control, i couldnt lift arms, legs, poop, and do simple day to day stuff, thankfully i was approved as a disabled person 110%, and since than im 2 years trying to recover, my legs still dont work, i cant feel heat, always numbbess, tingling sensation below wasted, and neurological pain which i try to coop with without and pills, crying at nights, alot, hard for me to get sleep, im always cold, i feel uselss, worthless, i feel like a burden on my wife, so last 26 of April i had a friend who came to visit we had some booze, nothing too crazy, we had some good time, laughed and i went to bed, while my wife downed two bottles of whisky with my friend, he noticed she got too drunk so he started to emoty her glass when she wasn't looking, after that she came to the room staryed shouting on me, mentally abusing me and telling that im stuff about she wants to leave me and son and start living her own life without us, she had enough of marriage, on the morning she couldn't remember that night at all, my friend helped me to get from wheelchair in bed, and than left her in the kitchen alone, where she continued to drink, i woke up arounx 7 AM she was missing from home, went to grab more liquor or beers i have no idea and the argument continued so i asked her to go get some sleep, and she thankfully did, when she woke up she had a good laugh about her behavior and i slipped on that as a one time occurance, i agreed to never have booze again at home, especially with her cause she cant handle it, on the 9th of may its a victory day for me, cause my grandfathers fought world war two, i bought few beers to raise a glass, for the celebration, and instead to be with me while we watch the Victory day parade, she suddenly decided to go for a walk, i left home alone my mom was with my kid, all went smooth up until 1 AM when i tried to call her, she answered and told me that she will be home soon, and afterwards stopped responding to my calls, my mom talked to her, and she said that she is near the neighborhood and will arrive soon, but she never arrived i started to worry, called her dozens of times she havent oicked up the phone, she ended up staying a night at her moms place for no particular reason, in the morning she came back told me that she wants a divorce cause she is young and want to travel thebworld and live a normal life and not stay like a jurse with me, she had enough of me beign sick, and usless (note im still the only one who brings income home) and she said she dont care about the kid anymore andi can have him (PS she also started ozempic course 6 weeks prior) so her therapist said she must stop using this stuff cause it cause mental problems, its 3rd week now she havent had a single shot, and all what happend became a bad dream for both of us, she regrets the stuff she said to me, and everything staryed to settle down, and today she broke again and startrd doing that again with the same demands she wanna leave after someone told her i was eating in a restaurant with my kid and i had a 300 cc beer on the table, i came back home all was great until today, when she was told about that beer, and it triggerdd her so hard that she want my signature and divorce, i love her, i need her and that she and our son is my only reason to live, and i cant let her go cause she is all of my life, and she doesn't care anymore.... She just want to leave me a disabled man with an 7 year old son, and kove to her mom. I haven't said anything bad to her, i didnt had an argument, never raised my arm on her, never done anything wro g to her especially with my conditikn where i barley hold a glass of water. I never thought about suicide cause i value my life and my mother, and son, i would never do harm to myself, but i feel like im lost, i lost everything in my life even though she is snoring right besides me when i write this, its feels like she enoys inflicting pain on me, mental pain she laughs when i cry, if feels like it give her pleasure, she was never like that before, and it hurts even more, since she started ozempic she started to say "she hopes she dies, she dont wanna live anymore, she had enough of been a mom, and a wife" stuff like that which she never said before, nor there was a real reason for thay, im not an abuser, i never done anything to her, and again im helpless man who is now disabled from chest and down, and im fighting to recover even 35% of body cobtrol would be huge for me, and instead lifting my soirit taking me in my wheelchair for walks outside, cooking me food instread of me ordering every god damn mill, i still lover her, i still want her to be with us, but it seems she already decided long ago that she doesn't love me anymore but never said that until she lost 30 kg with this hellish drug she injected.
Im lost i have no one to tell that, no one would really want to hear me talking about my struggles and a falling apart relationship with the best person i met in my life, my best friend, my wife, the mither of our child, my angel who changed ke for good, who found potential in, who inspired me to do better than i ever did before, i can't lose her, i won't lose her, i pray every night so she will change her mind! I really need her, im afraid to stay alone, im afraid to raise my kid in this state alone, and i dont want my kid to grow with only one parent because his mom dcided she wants to quit on us.
Uf anybody have anything warn to say, support ke, or kaybe an advise to approach her and try to fix that, the whole situatuon statlrted on the 26/27th of April and we are going through that until now, its getting better last few days as she let ke to hug her, and she aloowed ke ro give her a kiss on her cheek and after yesterday meal with my kid and that 300cc bottled beer, she at it again ;(
Sorry about this crazy block of text i doubt anyone gonna read that, but i would appriciate anything.
Thank you so much, George.

The Tragic Life of Wilbur

The man they just won’t leave alone

Wilbur

Wilbur grew up with his parents, traveling salesmen, who never stayed in one place. Although Wilbur preferred to have a stable home, his parents would always blow off his suggestions.
“You already have a home. If you don’t like these accommodations, study hard and find a well-paying job when you grow up. If you can get there, I promise you, that you can buy a house and then live your life, however you want,” his mother would suggest.
“Listen to her. Your mommy knows the best,” his father would add.
Now, a Business Development Manager and a wiz when it came to numbers, he worked at a small startup company. Although the company made big profits from Wilbur’s ideas, it never really acknowledged his genius. He was proud of himself and his work, nevertheless. He took his parents’ advice and worked hard to get where he was. So, why won’t he be?
He got off work and was heading home when four masked men surrounded him. Before he realized anything, one of them held a gun at his temple, while the three others rummaged through his pockets. They pulled out his wallet, phone, and wristwatch, before punching him in the face. As Wilbur fell on all fours, bleeding out of his nose, the four men began kicking him from all directions, knocking the wind out of him.
“I didn’t resist. They took everything. Why are they still beating me?” were the last thoughts that went through his head.
He woke up in a hospital bed. The nurse who came to change the catheter bag was surprised and called the Doctor. Once the doctor came in and checked his vitals, he smiled at Wilbur.
“You are a lucky man,” he said. “You were in a coma for two months. We almost lost all hope. But you are awake now and your vitals are fine. You are stable. I think you will make a full recovery.”
And recover he did. After two more weeks in the hospital, he finally came out of the hospital. He thanked the Lord for bringing him back to the world of the living.
“Mother always said that I could get the life I wanted if I worked hard. It must be her blessings that brought me back again. Because I did work hard.” Wilbur smiled as his thoughts gave him inspiration and his parent’s memories evoked nostalgia.
Once he reached his apartment building, he checked his mailbox and found a letter for himself, along with some overdue bills. He put the bills in his pocket and opened the letter first since it was from his company. He froze after he read a few lines.
He had been let go for going AWOL for almost 3 months. The letter did hint that the office was aware of his predicament, but they just couldn’t “afford to keep him on a payroll with their tight budget” – the corporate version of “it’s not you, it’s me”.
With a heavy heart and the memories of his mother’s blessings, he took a deep breath and headed upstairs. Once he reached his apartment and tried to open the door, the key didn’t fit. Did they change the lock while he was away?
He went to the Landlord and knocked on the door. As soon as the landlord opened the door and saw him, his expression turned sour.
“Mr. Hanson. The key to my apartment isn’t working,” Wilbur said.
“I’m sorry to hear what had happened to you, Wilbur. You are a good man. You didn’t deserve it.” Hanson tried to change his sour expression to a sad one with obvious fakeness.
“Thank you, Mr. Hanson. About my- ”
“Yes. Unfortunately, the market has been horrible lately, with all the mugging in the area. Although the mugger gang has been arrested, the fallout remains. People just don’t want to rent these apartments anymore. So, I just couldn’t ignore it when I did find that couple willing to move into that apartment.”
“You gave my apartment to someone else?” Wilbur exclaimed.
“That’s my apartment, in case you forgot,” Hanson snapped, suddenly reverting to his true feelings. “I had the locks changed. You didn’t have much in the way of belongings, since the furniture in there are all mine. You can pick up your bag of clothes and laptop from the apartment manager.”
Wilbur just stood there, with his face in his hands. His whole life was crumbling down.
“Besides, you still owe me two months’ rent,” said Hanson quickly, finding a tinge of sympathy within him. “I will forgo that if you want.”
“I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
Hanson’s eyes lit up as he saw an opening. “Well, I can make another arrangement for you, if you like.”
“That’d be great.” Wilbur’s eyes lit up with hope.
“I have an acquaintance. He owns a three-bedroom house downtown and lives alone. I convinced the association to let him keep that rundown house,” Hanson said.
“He will allow me to stay with him?” Wilbur asked, unsure of where this is going.
“Yes, yes. He’s a bleeding heart. Besides, I have some understanding with him. I am sure that he will let you stay, even rent-free.”
“Rent-free?” Wilbur couldn’t believe his ears. It sounded too good to be true.
“Of course. But you have to do me a favor in return.” Hanson leaned in closer, “Don’t ever try to rent a house in this area again. Live there, with my friend Gere.”
“Why?” Wilbur asked with genuine curiosity.
“There have always been muggings around these parts. But what happened to you was the last straw that made the prices of real estate go down around these parts. It’d be good to not have your face around to remind people of that… tragedy.”
“I understand,” Wilbur said.
“And one more thing,” Hanson added. “You will still owe me my two months’ rent and all the bills. With interest, of course.”
“Of course, Mr. Hanson,” Wilbur said with a smile. “After what you are doing for me, I would love to continue our relationship.”

Gere

Gere came home and threw his bag on the sofa before heading to the kitchen. He had to prepare a meal for his guest as well; the regular mac-and-cheese won’t do. Hanson’s phone call on short notice left him little time to prepare.
As he prepared some mashed potatoes, chili, and beans, he still wondered how he got roped into taking a roommate by a man whom he barely knew. Since Hanson was an important member of the realtor’s association, he just could not refuse the request. After all, it was Hanson’s influence that allowed him to keep his family home from being demolished by the realtors.
In retrospect, it might have been a good deal for Gere to cave in and sell the house to the realtors for demolition, but he just couldn’t do it. His grandfather, and subsequently, his father lived at this place. He had a lot of emotions attached to this place.
Ding Dong!
Gere wiped his hands on his aprons and turned off the stove that he had just lit up. He hurried to the door and opened it. There stood Wilbur, broken and tired with two large bags at his feet. Upon seeing this man, Gere’s heart melted. The scars on his body and the mismatched outfit spoke volumes about this man’s plight.
“Wilbur. Come on in.” Gere picked up his bags for him. Wilbur didn’t even have the energy to refuse the aid.
“Mr. Hanson told me what happened to you. It’s a tragedy. Really,” Gere said, leading Wilbur to his room. “Don’t you worry about anything here. You can stay here as long as you like, till you get back on your feet.”
“That’s awfully kind of you,” Wilbur said. “I’m really sorry to impose.”
“Not at all,” Gere replied. “You aren’t imposing. If anyone, it was Mr. Hanson who imposed. But honestly, if I am to keep this house, I need him to keep the Realtors on a leash. We have a mutual understanding.”
Gere put down the bags in the room and turned to Wilbur.
“He imposed, but I agreed. Not because of him, because of what happened to you. I just could not leave you out like that, man.” Gere gave him a pat on the upper arm and beckoned, “Come on. Wash up and come to eat. Dinner’s almost ready.”
Wilbur smiled at this generous man, genuinely thankful for his assistance. He was starving – hospital food leaves much to be desired and it was already late.

Cousins

Wilbur and Gere sat on the sofa, staring at the TV, but not focused on what was going on on-screen.
“So, these cousins of yours. They are not involved with anything bad, right?” Gere asked.
“Not at all, Gere. You know me. They are practically family.” Wilbur rubbed his eyebrows.
“What’s up with all these muggings?” Gere asked with severe annoyance.
“They had arrested the gang, last I heard. Yet, here we are. My cousins are scared to go out in that neighborhood and have requested if they could stay over, just for a couple of days.”
“Yeah. Of course. Your family is my family. You know that, right?”
“Thanks Gere. You are a saint.”
“Meh! Don’t worry. It’s not like I am using those rooms anyway.” Gere took a pause. “How’s your job search going?”
“Same old, same old. The job market isn’t really that good right now.”
“But it’s been four months already,” Gere said with genuine concern. “Now you are scaring me. What if I lose my job? In this market, I don’t think I can get another anytime soon.”
“Hey, man. Just be grateful that you still have your job. I don’t know what I will do. The exorbitant interest rates Mr. Hanson is imposing on me have been piling up. Now I must pay 3 months’ rent. Without a job, I can’t even repay one.”
“Don’t worry too much.” Gere rubbed Wilbur’s head. “Just bring your cousins in, enjoy some quality time with your fam.”
“Will do. How’s your Karate lessons going?” Wilbur asked.
“Got my Brown belt. Can’t skip classes when my office is paying for a hobby,” Gere said with a smile. “Much better than the gym membership they offered me.”

Mugging

Gere walked out of the bank, cashing his paycheck. Payday was always on the 7th of the month and he eagerly waited for this day, every month. He preferred to use cash since he would often have to lend some to his roommates - if one could call them that.
Gere walked down the pavement, counting the cash again. Distracted, he almost bumped into someone around the corner.
“Hey! Wilbur. What are you doing out here, man?” Gere asked with a tired smile.
“Gere, buddy. I need some money, very urgently,” Wilbur said.
“Well… sure. But you could have waited till I got home.”
Wilbur just snatched the wad of cash from his hands.
“Hey!”
“Thanks, man. I owe you one. I just need to pay Mr. Hanson back, before he increases the interest.”
Gere grabbed him by the arm and stopped him from leaving. “That’s not cool, bro. Give it back. We still have to budget for the whole month.”
“Let go of me,” Wilbur said, glaring at him.
“What’s gotten into- ” Gere was knocked in the head from behind, before he could finish his sentence.
As he drifted into unconsciousness, he remembered seeing Wilbur walk away with one of his cousins and his hard-earned money.

Interloper

Gere opened his door with the keys and froze at the sight. Wilbur and his cousins were sitting on the sofa, drinking beer and eating pizza while watching a game.
“You attacked me!” Gere exclaimed, seeing their audacity. “Give me my money and get out of my house.”
Wilbur put down his beer and shrugged, “Or what?”
“You caught me off-guard back then,” Gere growled. “Or what? Or else, I will make you.”
All four of them stood up and spread their arms. “Make me, then, fool. In case you haven’t noticed, you are outnumbered.”
Before Gere could say anything, one of the cousins rushed forth and threw a punch at him. Gere parried the blow with his forearm, moving in closer to hit him in the solar plexus with his knee. Regardless of how confident Gere was or his aptitude in fighting, Wilbur did have the number advantage.
Before Gere could even turn towards the other assailants, Wilbur and his cousins just grabbed him haphazardly from all directions and pinned him down to the ground. Wilbur turned to one of his cousins, once they secured Gere down.
“Call 911.”
“911?” Gere shouted. “Yeah. That’s a mighty fine idea. Bring out the boys in uniform.”

Bail

Gere sat in his cell with his head in his hands. He might have gotten a bit too excited and failed to explain the entire situation to the cops. In retrospect, even he would have considered himself a threat if he were in the cop’s shoes.
There was a bang on the cell door. “Come on out. Your bail has been posted.”
Gere came out to see Phyllis, his lawyer, waiting to pick him up.
“Good to see me?” Phyllis asked.
“You have no idea,” Gere said, rubbing the bump on his head that he suffered when the Wilburs pinned him to the ground.
“You are in big trouble, Gere,” Phyllis reminded, handing him his belongings.
They walked out of the station, got into Phyllis’ car, and finally had the chance to talk. Gere explained everything to Phyllis.
“I see. I will be honest, Gere: things are looking bad for you,” Phyllis blurted in a matter-of-fact way.
“What? How so? They were in my house, with my money. You could just present them as intruders.”
“Intruders? Too many witnesses will admit that you let them stay with you for five months now. That won’t stick.” Phyllis increased the fan speed of the AC while driving.
“What? What about my money? They attacked me and stole it.” Gere felt his voice rising, yet again, just like it happened back with the police.
“You didn’t see the attacker, did you? You said you were attacked from behind.”
“But I saw them walk away.”
“Half unconscious and still without proof that they did it. Circumstantial at best.”
“But they attacked me at my house as well,” Gere yelled.
“When the cops came, the big guy had a bleeding nose and a severe bruise on his abdomen. They have the proof that you attacked them. You don’t. Now it’s their words against yours. And in court, four is better than one.” Phyllis turned the car and continued.
“Besides, that’s not your house either.”
“What do you mean that’s not my house?” Gere asked in genuine confusion.
“They got some documents from the realtor’s association. They are claiming that the house was due to be demolished due to some new regulations they had set up. Some Hanson drew up the papers.”
“Who is he to sign the deeds to my house?” Gere shouted in frustration.
“The head of The Realtor’s Association. Your house is halting the development of the area that the realtors are planning. Even the mayor approved it. But don’t worry. This is one thing we can bring to the court. All your neighbors are willing to testify your legitimacy as the owner as well as give character affirmation. I think there’s hope. Finger’s crossed.”

Evicted

Gere stood at his own doorstep, staring murder at Wilbur, smiling at him. Phyllis stood at a safe distance, not ready to get into a physical altercation, should one begin.
“Here’s your phone and your laptop, Gere,” Wilbur said, handing him the things.
With his judgment clouded by anger and confusion, he just took them from his hand.
“What’s the meaning of this?” Gere demanded.
“I am offering you your phone and laptop. It’s a good deal. Take it and leave. You are being evicted from House Wilbur.”
Gere walked up to Phyllis and handed her his possessions. Before Phyllis or Wilbur could realize what was going on, Gere turned around to land a mighty side-kick into Wilbur’s face.

Court

“Will you please tell the court what happened on October 7th?” the prosecutor inquired.
“I got mugged on my way home from the bank.”
“And you claim that Mr. Wilbur had mugged you, right?”
“Yes,” Gere replied.
“Did you see the attacker?”
“Yes.”
“Where did the attacker hit you?”
“On the back of my head.”
“Then how could you have seen him? Do you have eyes on the back of your head, Mr. Gere?”
The entire courtroom laughed. The judge silenced them with his gavel.
“I saw them leave before going unconscious.”
“So, you took this circumstantial evidence as a reason to go home and attack them? You weren’t even in your right mind, half unconscious.”
“I didn’t attack them. They attacked me first.”
“Your honor, let these four testimonies and Exhibit. B, photos of the injuries on Mr. Wilbur’s cousin’s body show that Mr. Gere was the first to attack.”
“Yes, that’s because they punched me and I blocked it, before fighting back!” Gere begged.
“So, you admit to attacking them.”
“Objection. Leading the witness.” Phyllis stood up.
“Sustained,” the Judge allowed.
“Regardless. There is no doubt about the attacks, given the evidence.”
“It was self-defense!” Gere shouted.
“Of course it was. Mr. Wilbur and his cousins have the right to defend themselves,” the prosecutor said with a wink.
“They came into my house and attacked me! How can they be defending themselves?” Gere asked.
“House Wilbur isn’t your house, Mr. Gere. We have documents to prove that.”
“Nonsense! All my neighbors have testified that I have been living there for generations!”
“If your neighbors love you so much and if you are such a great guy, according to them, why aren’t they taking you into their home? Why are you just spending your days harassing Mr. Wilbur? Is it not true that you have assaulted him multiple times after that and violated your restraining order?”
Gere remained silent.
“Let this be known, Milord, that Mr. Gere has even dug a tunnel under the boundary wall to sneak in and attack Mr. Wilbur. Luckily, his karate lessons being paid for by his company, could not help him against four grown men with the law on their side.”
“They mugged me and invaded my home!” Gere shouted.
“Are you denying that Mr. Wilbur has been mugged and subjected to terrible torture a few months back?”
“What? No. How is this relevant?” Gere asked.
“And even his cousins were mugged, which forced them to escape to your house.”
“My house.”
“Pardon me, your honor. I misspoke. It’s just a slip of the tongue. My client, Mr. Wilbur, wants nothing but to make peace with Mr. Gere. In fact, he has offered Mr. Gere his phone and laptop to broker peace.”
“They took my house! What am I going to do with a Laptop and a Phone? I want my house back!”
The judge shouted, “Order, Order.”
“Milord. Mr. Wilbur has a lineage dating back to the Native Americans. According to this Genealogy and this DNA report, he is one part Native American and thirty-one parts German. That means, his ancestors, the native Americans, were the original owners of all the lands around here. That makes him the rightful owner of that house today. Furthermore, Mr. Wilbur’s mother has promised him a home should he work hard. And we all know how much hardships he went through. He got mugged and hospitalized. Mr. Gere is denying that he and his cousins got mugged.”
The masses in the court and jury just nodded in agreement. Upon seeing this reaction, the Prosecutor raised his voice to present his closing statement.
“Mr. Wilbur is an innocent man, who just can’t catch a break. The muggers, you, and your neighbors; no one is just ready to leave Mr. Wilbur alone. His mother has promised him a home and you are denying him that. His ancestors were from here and you are denying him that.”
The judge turned to look Gere in the eyes, unblinking. The whole court remained silent for a few seconds before the Judge made his verdict.
“Should Mr. Wilbur want to press more charges against you, all of them will be added to your sentence. You, Mr. Gere, are a terrorist. And I condemn you to prison for life, without food, water, or electricity.”

Husband and I (outdoorsy 30-somethings) just got back from the most magical 10 days of blitzing through Italy and I wanted to report back on how it all went! Itinerary report followed by general takeaways below. (:
May 5 (Rome) - Landed at Rome airport around 9AM, bought tickets for the Leonardo Express / validated in station and then hopped on a train around 10ish, got to Termini for around 11AM if I remember correctly. Wandered from Termini to our airbnb in Trastavere with our backpacks on, walked through/past a lot of the sites we'd be seeing later on. Part of the walk took us down the steps so we were walking along the bank of the Tiber and wowowowowow. We were more wiped out than expected after the walk and ended up napping at our airbnb after we checked in (lol) and then put ourselves back together, did Rick Steves' audio tour of Trastavere, found a place to get dinner, and just kind of wandered around the neighborhood stopping to sip wine and eat tiramisu in different spots. It was incredible.
May 6 (Rome) - Used IT.TAXI to call a car to bring us to the drop off point for our guided tour of the Vatican. I don't regret booking this because The Vatican is, ultimately, fucking insane in its offerings of art and history and whatnot, but this was easily the busiest/most crowded/suffocating thing we did the whole trip. There were so many people our tour ended up getting diverted from the Sistine chapel 2 or 3 times, which I actually liked because it meant we got to see EVERYTHING there was to see. I think we walked ~4 miles by the end of the tour. Tour started at 9:30 and we were walking out of St. Peter's at 13:00. Walked back to our bnb, passed out until 15:00, and then walked back into the heart of the city for our 17:45 Colosseum entry slot. Took our time getting there and let ourselves get distracted by any steps we wanted to run up or things we wanted to get closer to, etc. Waited behind maybe 5 people before getting our tickets checked for the colosseum, did Rick Steve's audio tour once inside, amazing. Originally we were planning on doing the forum afterwards but did not realize the forum closes early! Ended up spontaneously catching a bus to Appian Way and wandered around some of the park for sunset - not the part of the park we meant to wander around, but it was pretty nonetheless. Tried to catch a bus back but it never came, so we called another car via it.taxi back to our neighborhood. Grabbed dinner and gelato.
May 7 (Rome) - Hopped on a local bus to San Paolo train station, took a train out to Ostia Antica. Did the Rick Steve's audio tour (this is a running theme) and wandered the ruins for a couple of hours. The red poppies popping out of everything could make me cry, honestly. We were basically the only people there all morning. When we left around 11:00 there were hoards of schooltrips showing up, but we had the whole place to ourselves. Crazy. Hopped back on the train and took it to San Paolo, where we dipped into the metro and took a different train to the Colosseum area. Grabbed some street food and wandered - at midday this area is WAY more packed than in the late afternoon, like how it was the day before when we were there. The main line to the forum was stupid long, but there was no line at the Palatine Hill entrance just a little bit away from the Arch. We entered through there and wandered, did the Rick Steve's audio tour, wandered some more. Caught a bus to Campo d'fiori, and did most of Rick Steve's heart of rome walk. When we got to the pantheon we got in line to buy tickets - one of the machines was accepting money but was out of printer paper - we were able to snag one of the last printed tickets from the other machine around 17:00 and get inside the Pantheon. We ended up being two of like 10 people inside, this was a definite highlight. Did Rick Steve's pantheon audio tour and marveled at everything. Got kicked out around 17:45, continued the Heart of Rome walk and ended it ourselves at the Trevi Fountain. It was slammed but not hard to get close to the fountain itself. Walked back to Trastavere and watched sunset from one of the bridges over the Tiber. Wandered into a restaurant named something ending in "il massi" in trastevere - inadvertently one of the best meals of the whole trip. Hung out in Piazza Trilussa while a street performer played Bob Marley to a very happy crowd, went home, passed out.
May 8 (Rome -> Florence) - Grabbed coffee and pastries and ate them in Piazza Trilussa after checking out of our bnb. Trekked up Janiculum hill (with our bags) and hung out there for about an hour taking in the incredible view before walking down the other side (towards the Vatican?) and catching a bus to Termini, where we hopped on a pre-booked bullet train from Rome to Florence. Walked from the train station to our place in Oltrarno, close to Pitti and Ponte Vecchio - felt a kind of like, culture shock, I guess? Rome and Florence are so, so different. We stayed in a really cool airbnb on the top floor of what used to be a tower, I think? There was a plaque out front. A lot of stairs to go up but definitely worth it. Dropped our stuff off, grabbed some gelato, made it over for our 17:15 tour time of Accademia to see David. The line situation was NUTS but there was a method to the madness. The poster scammers were EVERYWHERE. Once we got inside it was very cool - David does not disappoint - we did the Rick Steves audio tour and wandered. Once that was over we made our way back towards Oltrarno and realized we were close to Gustapizza and like ~15 minutes out from it opening. I'm not about to wait in line for hours for food, but I can wait 30 minutes. Got in the to-go line, ordered two pizzas right after they opened (husband went out and bough a bottle of wine in the meantime), and we ate the pizzas and drank the wine in the nearby piazza. This was one of my favorite meals. I fucking love a piazza.
May 9 (Florence) - Slept in a bit! Did Rick Steve's Florence walk. Were originally going to do the duomo climb but changed our minds at the last minute - the amount of people waiting made it seem like it was going to be really claustrophobic - I don't regret this at all. Ended getting tickets to the Orsanmichele church / museum kind of on a whime (it was suggested in the Rick Steve's audio), I think 8 euros a pop. The church was beautiful, but the museum must be a state secret. We were the only 2 people in there, and the second floor is all HUGE windows with unobstructed views of the whole florence skyline, from within the skyline. It was dead quiet inside. No crowds. And incredible views. We soaked it up in here for a while, and then after the tour was done (around Palazza Vecchio), we wandered into San Frediano (I heard it was a cool area), got some of the best sandwiches from some random place, had Salciccia for the first time and didn't realize until we were like halfway through eating it (so good, omg), and hung out at a bar near a park for a while before catching a bus (I think 12) up to San Minianto. I read in a thread that this was a better viewpoint than the Piazzale Michelangelo with less crowds, and holy smokes. The view was insane. The monks closed the grounds right before sunset, but we were able to post up in one of the nooks in the wall right outside of the grounds and watch the sun go down. No crowd at all. Magical. Hiked back down on foot through Piazzale Michelangelo and stopped for a second to grab a beer and snap a photo, but it was SO so soooooooo crowded. Kept walking and wandered around Palazzo Vecchio area, grabbed dinner somewhere and headed home.
May 10 (Panzano) - Got our rental car and made our way to Panzano for a lunch reservation at Dario's. I was worried this was going to be hokey or full of old people or something, but this ended up being a huge highlight. We were sat at a table with a bunch of guys weekending together from Milan, a couple from Brazil, and some other folks from Northern Italy, and we all just chatted and ate together and drank way too much chianti and stayed until we basically were asked to leave. It was amazing. What was supposed to be a two hour lunch turned into a six hour hang out. The food was incredible, obviously, but making friends with such an assortment of strangers was really, really special. Wandered around Panzano a little bit after we all parted ways and then made our way to the carpark in Florence. We had reserved a spot at a place a week or so in advance and paid once we got there in person, it was great. Grabbed some more of the best sandwiches I've ever had in my life from some hole in the wall place in Oltrarno and hung out at our airbnb drinking wine until bedtime.
May 11 (Montepulciano) - Slept in a bit! Grabbed a capuccino at the local spot we'd found near our place, got our rental car, and set off for a day spent wandering around in Montepulciano. Didn't really have a set in stone plan for the day, but we parked for free near a bus station and then caught a cheap shuttle up to the top of the town. Hopped off at the top (the driver could tell we had no idea where "the top" was going to be and kindly flagged us when we were supposed to get off), and really spent the whole day just wandering up and down the town. The wine was all very good, everywhere. The food also. And catching the sunset from the top was probably one of the most incredible sunsets I've seen anywhere ever. Highly recommend. Drove back after dark and the highway was CLOSED so we spent most of the drive on a very, very small road carrying diverted highway traffic in both directions. It was a little scary because of the buses and trucks, but we lived. Dropped our car off at the return lot, caught a tram back to termini, and walked back to our place. Got in around 23:00. LONG, beautiful day.
May 12 (Florence -> Cinque Terre) - Got coffees at some third wave coffee shop instead of the usual spot because the usual spot was slammed and we had our bags with us - this place was fine but definitely geared towards Americans. And then walked to Termini and caught a train to Pisa, hopped out and switched platforms, and then caught a train to Monterosso Al Mare, landed around 15:00. Met up with our airbnb host, who was SO KIND, and walked up the 150 steps to the room we'd be staying in (not in the old side of town), it was amazing. Rooftop access. And tucked into the forested hill behind the other buildings. It was directly over the train but, surprisingly, that didn't bother us at all. We dropped our stuff off and wandered back out, got some foccaccia (holy shit) and walked into the old town. We wandered deep into the old town and up some road surrounded by vineyards and found some open but OLD woodsy staircase path that brought us up.... we did not know where we were going but did not care. Ended up popping out in the back of the cemetery at the top of the hill. Nobody was there, but if you walk ~50 meters or so away from the cemetery and down the road, there's an incredible panoramic viewpoint of the whole area. Wandered around here, then down an old-looking path around the cemetery that brought us to the front of the place, which is where the crowds (really not a lot of people) of people were. Wandered back down into the old town, bought some picnic-stuff from a local market (focaccia, pesto, olives, cheese, beer, limoncello) and then made our way home and picnicked on the rooftop while the sunset. Incredible day.
May 13 (Cinque Terre) - I think this was my favorite day. I don't know. I'm a sucker for large bodies of water and generally just being in nature. We got down for breakfast around 10AM, and droves of people were getting off of the train to start the hike that everyone does. Currently only the Monterosso -> Vernazza -> Corniglia sections are open. We were planning on doing the hike first thing, but really, really didn't want to deal with the crowds of it all. So we bought our trail pass ticket and then decided to change our plans around. We ended up catching the ferry from Monterosso Al Mare and taking it down to Riomaggiore, 45 minute trip total (15 euros a head and you get to see every town from the water... so worth it), where we ran around a little bit and split a cone of fried anchovies from Tutti Frutti (10/10). Hopped on the train and took it to Corniglia, wandered around here a bit and then hopped on the hiking trail and hiked Corniglia -> Vernazza. Definitely recommend. The views were stunning, and we only saw a couple of people in either direction since we started a bit later in the day / I assume a bunch of people only do the first chunk of the hike when starting in Monterosso. The portion we did took us about 65 minutes, and we stopped to re-apply sunscreen and gawk at the views a couple of times. Did a quick lap in Vernazza but were itchy to get to the beach at this point, so hopped on the train to Monterosso, used our trail passes to get free access to the train bathrooms and change into our swimsuits (we brought a small, roll-up-able hiking sling bag for this purpose), bought a towel for 10 euros from one of the stalls near the beach and hit the free section of the beach in Fegina. Some folks but nothing crazy. Laid our stuff down and spent the afternoon swimming in the sea. The locals said the water was cold but it was beautiful - 69 degrees Fahrenheit or so - much warmer than the ocean water we're used to in California lol. After hanging out here until around 18:00 or so, we made our way back up to our room (150 steps!!!!!), showered, put ourselves together, and made it back out for dinner around 21:00. We were able to get a table at a restaurant in the old part of town and if I recommend any place, it's this one: Tosca Bistrot. The chef was out and about helping the waitstaff, she stopped and chatted with us for a bit, and the food was the best food we had the whole trip. Anchovies in lemon and oil, trufie with pesto, poached sea bass, tiramisu and a pinoleta, which is a tart I've never heard of or had but now cannot stop thinking about. It was amazing and special and sweet. Walked out of here and sat on the beach in the dark for a little bit near some street performers before making our way home.
May 14 (Cinque Terre -> Milan) - I'm counting this as our last day even though technically we flew out of Milan on May 15. Initially we were going to spend two nights in Monterosso Al Mare but it felt dicey having to take a three hour train ride to a city where you then would have to catch a flight, so we opted to head to Milan to spend our last night before flying to limit any chance of craziness. We checked out of our bnb in the morning, spent a few hours wandering around with our bags, got some focaccia and ate it on the beach in the shade of the sidewalk overhand, and stopped at a local market to buy some fresh fruit for the train ride. This turned out to be a mistake. We bought two peaches, a nectarine, and some lemony cookies. Husband and I split the peaches and nectarine on the train ride, and just as we get to our hotel in Milan he starts complaining of nausea / upset stomach. He ended up having wild food poisoning. We washed the fruit before eating it but I guess something similar happened to him years ago when he was in Romania - something about his guts just not being familiar with the bacteria on the skin of the fruit or something. I was totally fine, but I historically have really strong guts. It ended up pouring rain the entire afternoon we were in Milan, anyway, so while it wasn't the most ideal way to end the trip it was also not the worst. Our hotel room was small enough that it was the perfect place for him to need to be close to a toilet, and we just opened the windows and listened to the rain and the locals being raucous into the night. Thankfully he was through it by morning and was able to get some sleep! But that was basically that!!!
BIGGEST TAKEAWAYS - I have to assume this applies to anywhere, but our favorite moments / things really ended up being the little everyday things as opposed to the big tourist attractions. Like the local cafes we ended up going to every morning, hanging out in piazzas with the birds, chatting with people, and letting ourselves wander down any weird little path that caught our attention. And the gelato. - We tried our best to not over-schedule things and really only book the attractions we wanted to see instead of what we felt we HAD to see. We're not huge art people so we felt the Uffizzi and such would have been lost on us, were more interested in eating and hanging out with people so we prioritized that, etc. - Public transit is so wildly easy to use here that you should absolutely lean into relying on it. The bus schedules were pretty easy to read wherever they were posted, google maps' routes were usually spot-on, and if the bus doesn't show up (in Rome this seems to happen sometimes) and you don't want to walk, it.taxi worked just like uber. - If you can book the BIG ATTRACTIONS towards the end of the day, do it. Crowds are thinner and you have a better chance of smaller numbers being inside. We booked Colosseum/Forum/Palatine Hill pass + Vatican (with a tour) + Accademia + time slot to Ostia Antica in advance and let ourselves sort of figure out the rest of the day-to-day as best we could. - Aside from lodgings and the car rental, the only other thing we booked in advance was the bullet train. It was pretty packed so I recommend you do the same, plus I think it's cheaper if you book it in advance. - Idk if Rick Steves gets a bad rap or whatever but as two people who didn't WANT to book tours to everything and also could not afford to book tours to everything, the guided Rick Steves walks were amazing. They give you so much context to wherever you are and there were absolutely some things we saw - a completely empty church with a beautiful rose garden and singing nuns comes to mind - that we never would have stumbled upon without them. Definitely recommend. Husband and I literally just split a pair of airpods, made sure to download the audio tours when we were on wifi, and listened and walked. In this vein, definitely bring a good portable charger.
I can honestly say this was a magical, life altering trip for me. I have never taken two weeks to just go have fun somewhere like I did with this, and it was amazing. Ultimately I think the most important thing is not letting yourself be too tied to a schedule, giving yourself some leeway/grace, figuring out specifically what's important for YOU to see, and just leaning in to living in wherever you are. It was amazing. I wish we had more time and I can't wait to go back.
If you want any specific recs (food, gelato, lodging, etc) in any of the places we were, feel free to message me!!
EDIT: additionally takeaway: forgot to explicitly mention this but husband and I each ONLY brought one backpack and I stand by this move 100000%. It made getting places on travel days way easier, made us pack smarter, and was honestly a great way to live. We did some sink laundry and I made sure to book a bnb midway through the trip (Florence) with laundry facilities. We brought some rope to hang our clothes. I felt awful for everyone I saw using rolling suitcases in Rome on the cobblestone. You need less than you think you do, I swear!

I’ve only told a few people about this incident that took place in the late 80s. I’m not looking for an explanation nor can I offer any proof; I just want to share what my friend and I experienced in the autumn of 1987.
I grew up in one of the northernmost states in New England, about two hours away from the White Mountains and 45 minutes from our state’s meager coastline, in a small working class city (General Electric and a tannery were two of the largest employers). I think it was early October: leaves starting to change but still on the trees, local fairs underway, and cool enough to rock my HS varsity jacket. I worked full time and was saving up for my first car; a ‘76 two-door Chevy Nova festooned with a Pink Floyd tapestry to cover the huge tear in the back seat.
My friend, Joe, and I worked in the same restaurant and an older cook would buy us hard earned libations and give us a ride home. Really, he would drop us off at a cemetery that was the mid way point between our two houses and a great place for underage drinking. We were dropped off there with a 4 pack of Bartles and James wine coolers to split between us.
It’s an old, large cemetery with rolling hills, moss covered headstones, and large maple trees. I grew up playing hide and seek and having BB gun wars there. I even taught an Army buddy how to drive stick in that cemetery. It was never a scary or “haunted” place to me. Even after the weirdest experience of my young life took place there.
There was a gazebo where we would sit and drink beers/wine coolers. It was open aired with half walls and benches to sit on while we chatted and drank. All we had between us was that one four pack so we were not drunk or under the influence of anything else. We began hearing footsteps coming in our direction. They sounded like someone walking in leaves. It later occurred to me that that was the first thing that was odd as the leaves were still on the trees and the cemetery was well maintained.
“Cops”, Joe hissed and I answered “kids”. The footsteps came closer. We couched below the half-wall facing each other; the smiles on our faces growing more and more nervous until they disappeared altogether. The footsteps came at a measured pace. No other sound accompanied them: no jingling of keys, no fabric brushing against each other, and there was no beam of a flashlight flitting about. The footsteps kept coming. I could see my mounting fear echoed in Joe’s face.
Before we crouched down, we tried to see who was walking towards us and couldn’t. But that was to be expected: it was a moonless night with little ambient light available. With our eyes wide and mouths agape, the footsteps came all the way up to the other side of that half wall and stopped. Joe visibly sagged and I began to shake as neither one of us had the courage to look up at what had to be surely peering down on us.
The footsteps began to recede and we popped up immediately to see who it was. It was nobody…literally no body; we could see where the footsteps were coming from but there wasn’t anybody making them. It was dark but it wasn’t pitch black. We would have seen a person. Ducking behind tombstones, we followed the steps a little ways downhill until they stopped. We took that as our cue to leave. We both sprinted home.
The next day at school we allowed that it was weird and that was that. We didn’t tell anyone and went on with our lives. We weren’t drunk or stoned, been diagnosed with schizophrenia, and our carbon monoxide detectors had fresh batteries. I have no explanation for this and neither do you. The 80s were a magical time and some days contained a little more magic than others. Thanks for reading this to the end.

I have been on a moderation journey for about 5 years now and I've had some success but am still drinking more than I think is right for me. It may be less than what others would think is problematic but I still think it's too much. I have been tracking my units and drinks meticulously for the last four years in order to try and cut down and find helpful patterns. I've done a 30 day AF stretch as well as a couple of weeks off here and there.
Last year I drank an average of 18 units a week and took 2.2 days off per week. Now that doesn't sound too bad when the government guidelines for my country are 15 units a week. BUT if I flip it on its head, that's approximately 250 days of drinking in the year. That has gone up to 24 units a week this year and I'm having more nights where I drink 5+ units. I tell myself I drink (mainly craft beer) for the taste but the fact I am drinking over 5 units more and more tells me I'm also drinking for the effect.
I've been wanting to do another 30 day break but keep telling myself that I'm better off "working on my moderation plan" as that will help me more long term. I have been saying this for about a year. I have had some success this year when I only buy what I want to drink but this has only been four times this year. That's a very poor success rate.
I am absolutely torn between trying to stick to this "buy what I want to drink" plan and taking a break. When I do take a break I do drink less in the weeks afterwards but will invariably go back to around an average of 18 units a week.
It's the constant to-ing and fro-ing of ideas in my head that is exhausting and I just need to make a decision.
I guess this has been more of a brain fart rather than asking a question but thought I'd put it out there for discussion/ ideas/ encouragement.

Bingo + 2 Drinks + Potential New Friends — $10, Thursday 7PM at Gold Coast

Zero commitment needed. Just show up. Get your bingo card, get your drinks, buy a dauber, and have fun for an hour.
I went to bingo with a couple friends of a friend a few weeks back, and they had a great time but they were slightly intimidated about it, not knowing what to expect. It gave me the idea to just invite anybody that wants to show up, and I'd be happy to walk them through the process. Meet new people and have fun, too.
If you want to go play bingo, I'll be there on Thursday (May 23rd) at 6:30PM, and you can sit with me. I'll help ya along, and below you'll find all ya need to know, too. Hopefully, you won't be the only one showing up, but if you are, that's A-OK!
Here's what you need to know:
The Gold Coast bingo hall is on the west side of the building. No matter where you park, when you're inside, walk away from the strip. Eventually, you'll find two long escalators. Take those up to the second floor, turn left at the top, and make your way into the bingo hall.
1) Get Bingo Card — Once inside the set of doors, turn left and get in line to buy your bingo cards. When you get to the cashier, say that you would like a "blue paper, validated, and a dollar dual daub". You can say exactly that. "blue paper, validated, and a dollar dual daub". It'll cost $6 or $7, and the cashier will hand you a pack of bingo cards and your receipt. (Different color packs pay different amounts if you win. You can also get an electronic unit : basically you'd watch a computer play for you. For us, though, we're getting the inexpensive option of playing on "blue paper", and the "dual daub" game is played in the middle of the others. For it, each space has 2 numbers. You just need to make one of the two numbers to cover the space. You don't need to worry about any of that. Just say "blue paper, validated, and a dollar dual daub")
2) Get Drinks — With your receipt and bingo cards, go left to the bartender area. You will likely see people standing in line there, too. You get your choice of two drinks (alcoholic or non-alcoholic). Tell the bartender what you would like (rum and Coke, screwdriver, hot chocolate, coffee, Pepsi, vodka cranberry, various beers, etc.). The bartender will stamp your receipt to indicate that you ordered your drinks and then hand you the drinks. Tip $1 or $2.
3) Find me — With your receipt, bingo cards, and drinks, walk to the other end of the large room (past the chandelier). Just to the right of the area where the ball caller will sit, you'll find me. I'll have a tiki mug on the table. Sit your stuff down on the table in one of the spaces then head to the vending machines to buy a dauber.
4) Buy a dauber — Insert your money ($2 or less) and pick the dauber of your choice. Light colors are easier to see the number through the ink, but any color you would like is fine.
5) Return to the table — Return back to the table and get ready to have fun. The bingo session will last under an hour and will start promptly at 7PM. You should arrive no later than 6:45PM to get everything done, and you can arrive as early as 6:15PM. The room will be open/empty at that time, but sales & drinks won't start to a bit later.
As to the bingo session itself, there are "indicator boards" around the room that show the desired pattern for each particular game. For example, the first game might be a "hard way bingo" which means you have to do it the "hard way" without the free space. You can have any 5 in a row up and down or left to right, except it can't go through the free space. The light up board will show the possibilities.
The pack of bingo cards has many sheets. Some of the games will be played on the one card then tear it off and throw it away. Some of the games will continue after a winner is determined. For example, that hard way bingo game might go into a double hard way for the next game. You would continue playing on the same card, but the target would be different. You would now need two rows of 5 marked spaces.
I'll be there to help, but the long and the short of it, is to not stress. You're statistically highly unlikely to win. Look at it like this: You're spending ~$10 to have fun, get a couple drinks, etc. You might win, but there are quite a few people playing in the same bingo session that will be spending $100+ to buy dozens of bingo cards, electronically. You'll have the six cards in front of you, but statistically, that person with dozens is more likely to bingo first. Ironically, they might "win" to receive far less than they spent. Do people playing on a single paper pack win? Absolutely. I've won. People I've been with have won, but if you feel like you can't keep up or don't "get it", the important part to remember is that you've not spent much money and you likely didn't screw anything up that mattered anyway. Just come and have fun.
I'm doing this just because I think it'll be fun. It's not sponsored or connected to the Gold Coast in any way. If you want to know more about me before ya come, I play slots online at https://www.youtube.com/@tikijackpot and you can see me reviewing Vegas stuff at https://www.youtube.com/@justinclouse
So, show up around 6:30PM to 6:45PM and let's have a fun time. If you have any questions, just ask.

This was an email I received after having a conversation with my mother about how they never made efforts to connect with me on a emotional level. They did not really take interest in what I was doing good or bad.
I was not happy to hear about your conversation with your mother a few weeks back. It sounded like a repeat of our discussion in the park about your unhappy upbringing. As we said then, we were unaware of your issues and apologized for any hurt we may have caused. Apparently that was not good enough. I find it very strange that you would bring it up now after almost 30 years has passed.
You seemed very happy when you moved to Florida, bought a house and got married. You were upbeat, enjoying the ocean and the Florida weather. There was no mention of any unhappiness. I think the first time I realized that you seemed different was few years ago at Christmas. You opened a present from us and immediately said you didn't like it and Mom should take it back. I thought that was pretty rude and without any concern for your mother's feelings. Then it seemed to go downhill from there. You became increasingly sullen and uncaring about others feelings. I remember one time when you were here you sat in a chair looking like a zombie. That was after you had some of your chocolate chip cookies. As time went on you seemed more and more distant. As I said before, I blame your change in personality to the MJ. It messes with your mind and your thoughts. As you lay in your hammock in a zombie state you were probably thinking back to your childhood and determined that it was a terrible experience and it must be your parents fault.
But just how terrible was it???
When I grew up we didn't have indoor plumbing until I was 2-3 years old. Just an outhouse.We didn't have central heat.
Just a kerosene stove in the living room and a few registers in the ceiling. Not much heat came up.
I remember scratching frost off the windows in my bedroom where I slept in the same bed with older brother.
We finally got central heat when I was around 10. Never did have central air.
We didn't have a TV until I was around 11. Beer money was more important.
My father didn't buy me a bicycle until I was around 15 and it was used. Beer money was more important.
We never did go away on a vacation. I never saw the ocean until after I was married at 21.
Many nights my father came home drunk and would beat up my mother while my sister and I was there. Scared the shit out us.
When I was 16 my father made passes at my girlfriend. I was so upset I left home to stay with a friend for while.
When was 18 and got my driver's license my father made my buy a car for $75 that did not run. He handed me a camshaft and said if I could fix it I could drive it.
I left home when I got married at 21. Right up until he passed away in 1989 he nor my mother never called me at any house we ever lived. Not once. If I wanted contact with them I had to call or go to their house to visit. Also, not once did he ever visit any place I ever lived except Voorheesville where he lived. Despite all that I didn't disown them or tell them what bad parents they were.
Let's move on the your mother.
Her parents were divorced when she was 3 years old.
Her mother had to provide for her and her 3 sisters while she was a waitress.They lived in an apartment behind a bowling alley because that's was all her mother could afford.
After the older sisters left home they lived in a different apartment with her Aunt and cousin. There was only one bedroom.Ok, so now please tell me again what a terrible upbringing you had. You had all of the things your mother and I didn't have. We bestowed upon you love, affection, creature comforts and just about anything you ever asked for. We adopted because we could not have kids of our own. We always treated you as if you were our own.I think it's totally unfair for you to take a few instances of decisions we made or things we did that you didn't like and use those to identify 47 years as our son. Your mother has been in tears ever since that phone call. Apparently there is little we can do to get back into your good graces so where we go from here is entirely up to you.

After years of looking at Armada on shelves I finally bought the core set. Im not entirely sure where to start ,what ships to buy etc. I have maybe 1 or 2 friends I can do the sample game with but was wondering if there are any groups in ir near Milwaukee WI that are still active

For years, I've been under the impression that my husband has a drinking problem, and I didn't know how to talk to him about it nor feel confident enough to do it. I don't know if it's how he needs to deal with his trauma, or if he may be more succeptible to developing addictions, or both. Over our four-year marriage, he had driven home drunk a couple of times, he's often drank when upset as a way to help him express his emotions, and for the past two years or so, he's been binge drinking nearly every night after work, regardless of his job at the time. It's gotten to the point where he's constantly buying craft beer throughout the week, and I finally decided that it was enough when he asked me if I would split the cost of a 12-pack with him, and I we would each get six. Four days after buying it, I went to grab my third, and noticed that it was the last one. He had drank nine of them, and in total he had drank about 19 beers in four days, and was intending to go out and buy more. I finally sat him down and told him that I was concerned he may have developed a drinking problem, and explained how even some of our friends have remarked that he seems to consume one drink after another without pause. I also explained that a few weekends when we had friends over, they felt very awkward when as soon as he got home, he began to drink and get high to the point he was too sick to sit and watch TV with us, and he went to bed. It made them feel like he would rather be under the influence than spend time with them.
When I told him all this, I told him that I didn't know what he should do, or if even stopping altogether was the right thing, but that I was concerned about it and that I think he should slow it down and maybe speak with his therapist about it, because I was worried about him and didn't want him to potentially harm his body or his relationships. Overall, I feel like he took it well in the moment, but he's been very depressed ever since, and had multiple breakdowns at work yesterday. I feel like I absolutely ruined his life, and made it seem like I'm trying to change him, which makes me feel even worse. I don't want to take away something that brings him joy in his life, but I also feel like it's gotten to a point where he's doing it too much. I just feel horrible that I've made him feel this way.
Should I have not done that? What can I do for him now? I don't want him to be depressed like this, but I also don't want his drinking to escalate to an even bigger problem. I want to support him, but I feel like I've already done too much damage.