Family reunion letter templates

I’m going to try to be brief here. I’ll provide details if asked in comments, but at the core I’m curious what is a reasonable way to manage boundaries with friends who were/are mutually friends with your ex-spouse who cheated?
For background, in 2020 my ex-husband left our 11-year relationship and 6-year marriage ABRUPTLY. No one else knows a private relationship of course, but it was an absolute shock to me and the rest of our community/friends/family. He was a loving husband one day and then brought up divorce the next. Within a month he left our home and then in three months we were divorced. Little explanation, circular rationale when I asked what was going on. I was traumatized and confused, and treated pretty shitty throughout his departure (again, sparing details unless asked).
I never got an apology. I learned about two months after our divorce of his presumed (he never admitted it) affair and new relationship. They moved out of state, married, are pregnant, and moved back home in my parent’s town. There’s been no communication since 2020 apart from some aggressive and accusatory letters from his current partner since (somehow a toll bill was sent to his address and she sent it to my family member’s home with a scribbled angry note, etc.)
Anyway, since he’s come home, he’s rekindled some friendships with just a couple mutual friends. These aren’t my closest friends but they’re dear to me. While I’m okay with that, my friend keeps posting him on his social media. So I come home from work to scroll to see my ex-husband’s face.
I’m happy and in a relationship and I KNOW IT’S BEEN FOUR YEARS, but the trauma of my ex falling off the face of the planet with no apology or explanation doesn’t exactly fade away. While I don’t want to make others feel bad, I don’t really get why he needs to post my ex-husband. Like?
Is it unreasonable to be bothered and slightly hurt? I muted his account for now but is it extreme to even question if this person means well for me? Sometimes I just wonder if people don’t understand…
Thanks all!

Dear my first love/ ex
I know we only dated briefly, but in that time we faced so much that time seemed like it passed faster than it actually did. When we first started out you helped push me to find a new job, because I couldn’t imagine working there alone. You even helped me quit by writing out my resignation letter even though I was gonna do it anyways since I had a new job lined up, but knowing that I wasn’t doing it alone or leaving you behind helped. I wish you could have been there to wish me good luck on my first day, but you got Covid and didn’t want to risk me getting sick before even starting.
I never wanted you to be anyone else, I loved the guy that I got to know before you ever made us official. The guy with several allergies to some of the weirdest most common things, but not allergic to common allergens. The guy with fears of heights, and bugs and scares easily. The guy that loves Disney movies and loves singing to them and cries at sad moments but would never let me see him cry. The guy that loves math, collecting Pokemon cards because they’re pretty, playing video games, D&D, anime, spending time with friends and family. The guy that was very judgemental when it came to certain things like how mint ice cream is wrong and anything with mint and chocolate together just shouldn’t be. The guy that seemed very uncertain about his future saying things like “I’m gonna take a job I hate so when I have money I can take a job I like that doesn’t pay much” “I want to buy a house here, because it would be such a flex to my friends” “ I would have quit school but everyone expected me to finish so I couldn’t quit.” Meanwhile you did know that when he bought a house that he wanted a cat and even knew the type of cat he wanted.
Now comes the tricky part that I hate because I don’t know how much you actually knew about me. Did you know I would have loved if you asked me to dance? That I would have loved a reason to get dressed up and show you a side of me no one has ever seen? You knew that you opened my heart and made me feel safe, but do you know what that has done to me? Do you know how your love has changed me? Did you know that since you were the first person to see me and love me that you helped me gain confidence I never had? Did you know that all I ever needed even when you physically couldn’t be there with me was you to say “I love you”. Just 3 little words to make me feel better, even on my worse days, just knowing that I have someone who chose me and chose to love me was a enough, but you couldn’t do that simple thing.
Instead you chose to create distance, trying to repair the damage after it was done instead of just saying “I love you and because I love you can we cool off and come back to the issue in the morning so we don’t say something we might regret?” No I got the response of “ I had a good day today and don’t need you bringing me down so I’m turning off my phone” the reason I was mad was because you blew me off and broke your promise the least you could have done was apologize instead of making me feel guilty and less than.
Do I hate you for that? Do I hate you for putting yourself first? Do I hate you for making me open my heart and be venerable to you? Do I hate you for shattering my heart into a million pieces? Do I hate that we loved each other and it seemed like you did all the talking but I was the one opening up more emotionally than you? Do I hate you for finding someone new so fast? Do I hate that you probably saw the northern lights with your new gf on my birthday, while I watched them alone after you said I would never be alone on my birthday again, along with the fact our first date we tried to see them only to get downgraded to cloud gazing and never watching them together like we wanted? No, for some reason I can’t hate you maybe that’s what true love is, because there will always be a part of me that loves you. Even with all your faults and flaws but it would be so much easier if I could just hate you. But I would be lying if I say that I’m not hurt and that I wouldn’t take you back in a heartbeat. I would have my reservations about it but as long as you would be willing to put the work in I would take you back because I’m not going to hate and judge you based on a few bad times when there were so many more good times. But we didn’t know how to deal with the bad times so we let that rip us apart.
~ your ex that you gave up on

My brother (34) and I (F32) have been raised in a toxic environment with a lot of verbal abuse. There was also some physical violence when we were small, although I do not remember very well. As a young child, I was terrified of my father. Even as adults, verbal abuse continued and my father was at least once physically violent to my mother. Everybody in the family has anger issues.
A few years ago, our family was going through something quite traumatic and unrelated. Everybody was quite stressed and upset. Somehow my brother and I got in a stupid argument that quickly escalated with him saying he ordered me to shut up. I was outraged and did not shut up and before I knew it, he grabbed my neck, dragged me through the room and pinned me against the wall and tightened his grip. I could not breathe for a few seconds and he said "see, now you cannot talk anymore". Both my parents were in the same room and did not react and said nothing. Ultimately they concluded it was my fault for pushing him too far and that I was ruining family holiday by making it a bigger deal than it is. Of course, I disagree, but I did not try to convince them and the event was never mentioned again. I started skipping family reunions because of this, though I managed to fix my relationship with my brother recently because he became a father. I am happy about us reconnecting.
A few days ago, I suddenly remembered what I asked him after he physically assaulted me that night: "do you realise what you just did? What if you have kids of your own one day, will you treat them this way?"
Since I never got an apology nor a clear understanding he deeply regretted this event, I do not know if I trust him not to ever do that again. I never fully forgave him either for the same reason. Should I try to start a discussion about it with him? I feel a sense of responsibility towards his spouse who might not know about this event.
Thank you for reading this far.

The game opens with constant gunfire and artillery shells bursting, the sound of men yelling as gunfire stifles the darkness of the night. We focus in on a platoon of troops in a foxhole, like lightning a shell hits close to, wiping out most of the men. As the ringing of the remaining ears clear they realize they need to retreat as they can no longer stay in the tight, cramped, flooded hole they've found themselves in and the only way back is up.
Every player must roll a d10, the player with the lowest role finds a piece of wood stuck within their leg, not bleeding but obstructing the ability to run without help, the players decide to deal with the issue there and then or deal with assisting the injured player in the retreat to try and fix it in a safer location.
As the players leave the foxhole a machine gun fire begins to target the group
Triggers a sequence
Flairs shoot lighting up the battlefield as you hear a whistle from the enemy blows They're crossing no man's land.
This sequence where the players must make a 200-250yd dash for a trench behind the foxhole.
Players take priority in turn rotation

Fleeing is (Mov x 5 =x yd) 

Every player must make a dex roll on their turn
-a critical success allows them to run uninhibited
-a regular success causes equipment to get snagged on barbed wire causing them to get slowed
-a failure causes you pouches or bags to rip dropping a small amount of ammunition
-a critical failure causes you to get cut by barbed wire dealing 1d4 damage
Players carrying injured role with penalty die
On the machine guns turn roll to full auto at players but role with triple penalty dice due to multiple shots, out of range, and fast targets. You can decide volley size and damage per shot, BE NICE it's just the beginning
Once all players have made it across no mans land they will arrive at the door of a rather large bunker, they bang on the door and request assistance. After a bit of pleas a slot on the large door opens with a bun barrel sticking out. A rather shooken young man asks the players to tell him “where are you from” clearly trying to see if the players are enemies. A player can say anything but the second the man hears perfect english or french he swings open the door. The players see a young man with a shotgun, couldnt be over 20 years old. He commands the players to get in fast. As all the players enter he immediately goes to slam the door shut seeming to struggle to do so.
You meet Bert Newman a strapping young man from new york a very charming quick witted kid, he's always there to boost morale and is always ready to get work done. Its best to slowly show off his personality with small talk while he leads you down the winding halls.
After a few turns and twists you arrive at a sort of check point with a man with a british bren gun points his barrel down the hall, directly at Bert and the players.
You meet Rook a very large man sporting a very clean uniform, he seems concerned and Isn't too welcoming to the new residents, hes a harsh with his words, and presents himself as no nonsense, he does have a soft spot for Bert, able to handle his constant cracks and stories. I recommend making some dialogue for them to have every now and then to show their relationship.
After the players are done interacting have rook notice the player with the injury if it hasnt been taken care of he’ll direct the players to go to the infirmary to get fixed up. Have Bert offer to show them where to go. On the way to the infirmary try to keep engaging with the players as Bert
As the players arrive they will notice a large room with a few injured men, a very poor sight to behold. Once you arrive at the entrance you will meet a beautiful young lady dressed in a nurses gown
This is Louise, say hi to Louise :D. A pretty woman with a caring face, but with a hint of concern and fear.
She welcomes you and immediately notices the protruding fragments sticking out of the injured player, she looks back up and tells them to take a seat. The players can interact with Bert more, with each other, or Louise. Try to have Bert and Louise interact if you can, they are great friends.
After the player is patched up they can leave. They can follow Bert back to rook where Rook will give you the task to retrieve barbed wire from the armory as they want to start adding more defenses for the door incase of being invaded. Bert will again offer to guide the players
You begin your journey to the armory, once again try to interact if you can, mention what could have brought Bert to the war and his family. At a certain point Bert will trip a grenade wire trap, everyone roles a dex or dodge role. Bert is killed in the blast anyplayer that fails gets knocked to prone, you can determine if they were close enough to take damage. After all the dust clears the players see Bert's body slumped against a wall lifeless,they can't save him. If the players decide to search him they will find a mostly burnt map of the bunker, some ammo for a shotgun and a letter addressed to what you can assume is his family.
If the players continue to go and retrieve the barbed wire they will get a chance to change their weapons if they choose. As they return they notice Bert’s body is now gone, with a blood trail leading around an separate hallway
Thank you for reading!!!

About 10 years ago my neighbor asked to take down a portion of my 4' chain link fence dividing our property. He wanted to back a storage building into his back yard. I agreed and neither of us replaced the missing 30' (15x15x4) fence. A couple of years go by and I notice he is piling stuff against my house and in my yard. I ask him to move it to his own property. He does eventually.
Meanwhile I moved across town to care for a family member but still go by to check on the property, empty the mailbox, mow the yard, etc.
The encroaching happens a couple more times during that timeframe. He must have had a run in with county code-enforcement, because one day there is wood plank fence that runs from his house across the property line so the last 4x4 is touching my house. Obscuring line of sight into the back yards.
Now looking in, my yard was a nightmare of "treasures" he picked up and piled in my yard.. (his yard was full)... Sanford & Son would've been proud of him. His S%$t was piled 6' high. I was less than enthused.
So, AITAH when I called the junk hauling service. My instuctions were very clear. Here is the property line. ANYTHING on my side of the line is junk including the portion of wood fence, posts, gate, hardware, et all. If It is on my property, it's mine and I want it removed. There was a cement mixer, construction supplies, broken lawn equip, parts and decks to mobility scooters.. Took a couple guys a couple box trucks full to get it done. Cost, $1000+.
or AITAH for sending the bill to the neighbors 70yr old mother whose named as the property owner with a deman letter for reimbursement.
I offered a few options for her and/or her hoarder son to pay off cost of the hauling or we could meet in civil court. She (mom) agreed to cover the cost and I feel that the sting of that interaction will keep her son, the neighbor, in line. If not for the cost, but to avoid his mother's wrath.

hi everybody! like most current juniors i am starting the college search/list building and was looking for some guidance on what sort of schools i should be looking at! i want to ideally major in pre-pharmacy/physiology
here is my demographics and stats:
demographics: - white female - MA resident, dual-citizen - medium/high income, immigrant family - small, mid-ranked private school
stats: - 3.88 UW/4.7 W - 1380 sat (will retake in august) - top 5 in class of ~50 - full IB diploma candidate (HL maths, biology, english. SL economics, french, world religions) - 2 years of student government—> my role was/is facilitating communication between administration and the student body and running the school’s instagram - 3 years of being a school admissions ambassador—> toured prospective students and families, helped run events such as open houses etc. - 3 years worked as a gymnastics coach for children between the age of 6-12 (used to be nationally ranked gymnast but quit 3 years ago, but received many awards for achievement and sportsmanship) - 3 years of varsity basketball, one as captain - 1 year worked at starbucks - (hopefully) will work over the summeschool year as a pharmacy technician in a local pharmacy - around 100 hours of volunteer hours between various organizations - organized a fundraiser (raised 1k so far) for helping low-income individuals pay the co-pays for prescription medications
and a few other random clubs/insignificant ecs (im aware my ecs are somewhat lacking for top tier universities)
also worth noting that i will have very strong rec letters from bio and english teachers!
thank you!!

I'm working on the Navbar for this website and everything is mostly okay. I have two issues, one more my focus than the other at the moment. I am trying to make it so that the active tab has the white underline. At the moment the line only shows when hovered. I have tried other methods but it only shows a bar over the words or none at all. The other problem is having it so the bar stretches to fit the entire screen and the size of the nav selections adapt based on screen size. Nothing so far has helped or done anything with that.
Below is the CSS and in the image is the Html
@charset "UTF-8";
/* Body */
body {

font-family: source-sans-pro; background-color: #FFFFFF; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 200; display: block; text-decoration: none; 

}
/* main {

margin: 30%; 

} */
* {

box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0; padding: 0; 

}
/* Container */
.container {

width: 100%; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; height: 76%; background-color: #960C22; top: 0; display: inline; justify-content: space-between; border-bottom: 1px solid #960C22; position: fixed; left: 0; padding: 0; align-items: center; z-index: 100; 

}
.logo {

width: 30%; max-width: 479px; float: left; margin-left: auto; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1%; display: inline; cursor: pointer; 

}
.logo_footer{

position: relative; z-index: auto; padding: 0px 0px 2% 2%; color: white; font-size: 150%; text-decoration: none; font-family: Arial, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, sans-serif; 

}
p {

text-decoration: none; 

}
p.labname{

text-decoration: none; font-size: 20px ; font-family: Arial, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, sans-serif; 

}
.labname{

clear: both; 

}
li, a, nav{

font-family: Arial, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, sans-serif; background-color: #960C22; color: #FFFFFF; font-weight: 500; text-decoration: none; 

}
.about {

padding-left: 25px; padding-right: 25px; padding-top: 35px; display: inline-block; background-color: #FFFFFF; margin-top: 0px; 

}
nav {

float: center; align-items: center; width: 100%; display: flex; justify-content: space-between; /\* padding: 1em 0em 1em 0em; \*/ 

margin: 0 auto;
text-align: center;

box-sizing: border-box; position: relative; 

}
nav ul {

list-style: none; float: center; margin: 0 auto; padding: 0; display: inline-block; 

}
nav ul li {

float: left; font-size: 120%; text-align: center; margin-left: 25px; letter-spacing: 2px; font-weight: bold; display: inline-block; text-decoration: none; 

}
ul li a {

text-decoration: none; display: inline-block; padding: 25px; transition: all 0.3s ease 0s; 

}
ul li:hover a {

text-decoration: none; text-align: center; transition: all 0.3s ease 0s; background: #820C1F; 

}
.active {

text-decoration: none; text-align: center; transition: all 0.3s ease 0s; 

}
.navbar a {

position: relative; color: #FFFFFF; 

}
.navbar a::before {

content: ''; position: absolute; top: 100%; left: 0; width: 0%; height: 10px; background: #FFFFFF; 

}
.navbar a:hover:before {

content: ''; position: absolute; top: 100%; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 10px; background: #FFFFFF; transition: all 0.3s ease 0s; 

}
.navbar a:active {

content: ' '; position: absolute; top: 100%; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 10px; background: #FFFFFF; border-bottom: medium; border-bottom-color: #FFFFFF; 

}
/* Small Tablets */
@media (min-width: 321px)and (max-width: 767px) {
.logo {

width: 100%; text-align: center; margin-top: 13px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; color: #043745; 

}
.container header nav {

margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 100%; float: none; overflow: auto; display: inline-block; background: #52bad5; 

}
header nav ul {

padding: 0px; float: none; 

}
nav ul li {

margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 100%; text-align: center; padding-top: 8px; padding-bottom: 8px; 

}
.text_column {

width: 100%; text-align: left; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; 

}
.thumbnail {

width: 100%; 

}
.footer_column {

width: 100%; margin-top: 0px; 

}
.parallax {

text-align: center; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 40%; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; width: 100%; font-size: 18px; 

}
.parallax_description {

padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 30%; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; float: none; width: 100%; text-align: center; 

}
.thumbnail {

width: 50%; 

}
.parallax {

margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-top: 20%; 

}
.parallax_description {

margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; width: 100%; padding-top: 30px; 

}
.banner {

padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 20px; 

}
.footer_column {

width: 100%; 

}
}
/* Small Desktops */
@media (min-width: 768px) and (max-width: 1096px) {
.text_column {

width: 100%; 

}
.thumbnail {

width: 50%; 

}
.text_column {

width: 100%; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; 

}
.banner {

margin-top: 0px; padding-top: 0px; 

}
}

Hi all can anyone help? , I have received a letter that a decision made on 25th June 2022 has been overturned. They are saying we have undeclared or notional capital. This is refering to a house sale that my partner completed and was received £31,000 however she owed her family member £20,000 from loans and payments that she covered during the pandemic and this was sent. It is in her nans account as it's her money now and we do not have access to this account. My partner did not realise that she was ment to report the amount of £11,000 that she was left with as it was under £16,000 however universal credit contacted her and an investigation was launched. She provided all information and what she had spent the money on as she currently has around £5,000 left she honestly didn't realise and this was resolved. They were satisfied with this however they are classing the money within her nans account as our capital now. We don't have access to this money, do not know how much is in this account and have never received any money transferred from this account. We are currently being charged with a years worth of universal credit payment and a continued reduced amount because of that money. We don't have the money and it is not ours so why can they change us a reduced amount because they say it's between 6,000 and 16,000 but it's not ours so we would have to get Paid a reduced amount for money that's not ours or we can't ever change and we would not be able to receive our normal amount? I work and we receive universal credit top up and we are only left with a very small amount each month, the only money that has ever went into our bank accounts are from my work and universal credit top up. This is outrageous as we don't have access to the money, it's not ours and we can't ever get any of it. As well as the letter stating we have an overpayment of a year due to this? I need some help as it all seems like everyone's word against eachother and they are the decision makers so they would have to go against their own decisions which is making this seem pointless that I can get help.

I (30F) genuinely don't know anymore; I got my degree towards User Experience Design with a focus on accessibility and a background in print thinking I'd be able to make this my life. I loved that job so much; I immediately had offers lined up right out of college back in 2017 and it seemed like I was truly building a life for myself. One of my family members got sick, so I decided to work "only" 32 hours to be able to combine taking care of them with my job without getting in much trouble (having one scheduled day for hospital visits works wonders!)
but that all came crashing down. The company that I accepted the offer of to get the experience I needed to truly get my foot into the industry went bankrupt. I ended up having to accept a front-end development job at another company where I suffered Sexual Harassment that still is effecting me to this day. The company after that was absolutely amazing for the first 2 years; but then got an new CEO and suddenly I was expected to work 40+ hours on my 32 contract because they expected 32 hours of ticket work from me despite scheduling me for at least 15 hours of meetings a week; only to then accuse me of "refusing to adapt" and "just wanting to slack off". I eventually got an offer from an old coworker that went to another amazing sounding company because they were looking for someone just like me.
I made the switch in 2022. and at first everything was amazing until they suddenly dumped the workload of 8 people on me causing to work 100 hour weeks. between work and taking care of my family on top of some other private issues I was going through (My relationship had fallen apart and my ex was giving me death threats on top of my family member passing away and another one getting sick and now requiring care) I completely burned out. Eventually they stopped giving me work; undoubtedly in the hopes I would resign myself out of boredom; something I didn't. They eventually ended up firing me in December 2023 with a good Severance package.
I know the job market has been incredibly rough and especially my field has been hit hard with the introduction of AI; but I had hope I could eventually find another job with my Severance package giving me 6 months of time.
Those 6 months are now running out. I applied to 1000's of jobs. Often hearing back that they found someone with more experience, I didn't have enough experience, that I was under qualified, that I was overqualified, that I didn't talk about loving coffee enough in a motivational letter (yes, really. no; it was not for a coffee company)
I even started broadening my horizons and applied to jobs to work in a daycare which we have a severe shortage of workers in, which is a field I always had in mind as a backup. I told them my motivation, how much I was willing to learn and even pay for the course myself. I got denied because I was "overqualified" and "You strive to improve yourself too much and we are afraid you'll get bored might leave us soon"
I'm starting to genuinely give up; I don't really see any options anymore and I genuinely feel like I lost my entire life. I don't have much; because of the housing market I'm forced to life with family and because of that earlier mentioned breakup I'm single and in no way ready to date and build a life that way anymore. My job was my last tether to what feels like an "adult life" and I completely lost it.
I feel completely lost and I'd honestly love some advice.

I am an owner-occupant in a two-family. I live in one unit and rent out the other.
Based on my knowledge of the FHA, it does not apply to me because I live in one unit, and the building has four or fewer units. (side note: I don't use this in any way to discriminate, quite the opposite and am very accepting. I just don't pay much detailed attention to the FHA.) Also, my state has no greater restrictions or law than the Federal FHA.
That said, a situation has come up with current tenants. They are almost 10 months into a 12 month lease. They have two pets, a cat and a dog. As part of the lease agreement, they "paid" a pet security deposit and a very small pet fee. It should be noted that I am aware of damage that one of the animals has already done. As of today, I received a text with an image of a letter from an APRN stating the need for an ESA(s). The letter was not very detailed or thorough (about two sentences long, and I was under the impression that these sorts of letters need to be very detailed, from a doctor only, and be specific to the need as well as a separate letter for each ESA if there is more than one).
I have never been requested to accommodate an ESA or service animal so I am not familiar with the full legal requirements. If the FHA does not apply to me, do I need to accommodate this (i.e. give the pet security deposit back/stop charging a pet fee)? Or, are accommodations required (with no deposit, etc.) even if the FHA does not otherwise apply?
Then, if I do need to accommodate, is a single, non-descript letter from an APRN enough? Or am I allowed to request two separate, detailed letters from a doctor?
Lots of questions, I know. Just trying to get some clarity on the matter to make sure I handle it appropriately. Direct answers would be great, but even suggestions on who I might contact or where to get further info would help. I have already tried to call HUD, but not getting through.
Thanks in advance, and I will try to be responsive to questions if anyone has any.

I (30F) genuinely don't know anymore; I got my degree towards User Experience Design with a focus on accessibility and a background in print thinking I'd be able to make this my life. I loved that job so much; I immediately had offers lined up right out of college back in 2017 and it seemed like I was truly building a life for myself. One of my family members got sick, so I decided to work "only" 32 hours to be able to combine taking care of them with my job without getting in much trouble (having one scheduled day for hospital visits works wonders!)
but that all came crashing down. The company that I accepted the offer of to get the experience I needed to truly get my foot into the industry went bankrupt. I ended up having to accept a front-end development job at another company where I suffered Sexual Harassment that still is effecting me to this day. The company after that was absolutely amazing for the first 2 years; but then got an new CEO and suddenly I was expected to work 40+ hours on my 32 contract because they expected 32 hours of ticket work from me despite scheduling me for at least 15 hours of meetings a week; only to then accuse me of "refusing to adapt" and "just wanting to slack off". I eventually got an offer from an old coworker that went to another amazing sounding company because they were looking for someone just like me.
I made the switch in 2022. and at first everything was amazing until they suddenly dumped the workload of 8 people on me causing to work 100 hour weeks. between work and taking care of my family on top of some other private issues I was going through (My relationship had fallen apart and my ex was giving me death threats on top of my family member passing away and another one getting sick and now requiring care) I completely burned out. Eventually they stopped giving me work; undoubtedly in the hopes I would resign myself out of boredom; something I didn't. They eventually ended up firing me in December 2023 with a good Severance package.
I know the job market has been incredibly rough and especially my field has been hit hard with the introduction of AI; but I had hope I could eventually find another job with my Severance package giving me 6 months of time.
Those 6 months are now running out. I applied to 1000's of jobs. Often hearing back that they found someone with more experience, I didn't have enough experience, that I was under qualified, that I was overqualified, that I didn't talk about loving coffee enough in a motivational letter (yes, really. no; it was not for a coffee company)
I even started broadening my horizons and applied to jobs to work in a daycare which we have a severe shortage of workers in, which is a field I always had in mind as a backup. I told them my motivation, how much I was willing to learn and even pay for the course myself. I got denied because I was "overqualified" and "You strive to improve yourself too much and we are afraid you'll get bored might leave us soon"
I'm starting to genuinely give up; I don't really see any options anymore and I genuinely feel like I lost my entire life. I don't have much; because of the housing market I'm forced to life with family and because of that earlier mentioned breakup I'm single and in no way ready to date and build a life that way anymore. My job was my last tether to what feels like an "adult life" and I completely lost it.
The state of the industry is awful, and I'd honestly love some advice.

Hello, I'm submitting my application for ILR SET(M) in a few days and I'm really stressed I've missed something crucial. I would really appreciate if someone could check through my document list.
Application documents

• Passport
• Passport Pages
• Expired Passport
• Expired Passport Pages
• Signed Family Consent Part 1 & 2
• Signed Spouse Declaration

Indentification/Travel History

• Partner's British Passport
• My Biometric Residency Card
• My Previous BRP
• Email copies of all flight itinerary over past 5 years

Other

• Marriage Certificate (UK)
• Life in the UK Test Pass Confirmation
• Statements of Support

Finances

• My employment contract
• My letter from my employer
• My payslips (12 months)
• My stamped bank statements (6 months)
• My digital bank statements (12 months)
• My most recent P60s
• My promotion letter and pay award letter
• Partner's employment contract
• Partner's letter from my employer
• Partner's payslips (12 months)
• Partner's stamped bank statements (12 months)
• Partner's most recent P60s
• Partner's promotion letter

Accomodation

• Mortgage Agreement
• Mortgage Statement
• Land Registry Title
• Latest Council Tax Bills
• RICS Home Survey (Level 3)

Cohabitation (2.5 years from Dec 2021 to June 2024, is the spacing okay?)

• Council 1 Tax Bill (Previous Address - April 2022)
• Joint Bank Statement (Previous Address - August 2022)
• Council 2 Tax Bill (Current Address - January 2023)
• Joint Bank Statement (Current Address - June 2023)
• Water Utility Bill (Current Address - November 2023)
• Water Utility Bill (Current Address - February 2024)
• Miscellaneous Correspondence (in case more evidence is needed)

Any help or advice is appreciated. I'm mostly worried about the accomodation requirement, there's nothing in my mortgage documents that details what kind of house it is which is why I included the survey, but that survey document is more than a year old now.

For the longest time, I couldn't understand the hype behind children. The monetary cost and constant care for a human being never resonated with me. I (22 trans male) would listen to people talk about their family plans and the happiness a baby would bring.
I remember being 7 and telling my uncle I hated kids, and I would never want to hold his baby (my cousin, whom I have no problems with now). I remember faking the excitement during baby showers for other family members. I remember being bribed with DS games if I pretended to be happy babysitting during family reunions.
I have always wanted a cat. Anyone who knew me in elementary school onward would tell you that. Every saturday morning, I would turn on the Discovery channel to watch Jackson Galaxy or other cat-based shows. The excitement you hear people talk about babies is how I always felt about cats.
In September, I adopted this beautiful gray tuxedo kitten. A few of my friends went with me to the animal shelter, helped me pick out supplies, and pick the kitty. The happiness I had picking up my boy for the first time was amazing. He's a little fiesty, loves food, and jumps around when he's excited. This must be the feeling parents seek from babies. While I will never have children, I understand the excitement now.

I procrastinated and I have SO MUCH GRADING left to do it.
I was FOOLISH and WASHED A MONTH'S WORTH OF LAUNDRY in one DAY.
It feels like it is taking forever to finish it.
I am not saving money well.
I applied for a job and I sent them a thank you letter but I have not heard back yet.
I overstuffed my face with cereal.
I am constipated.
I realized I am the type of overshare online.
I cannot seem to control how much time I spend online. I have neck and shoulder pains.
I see my youngest brother being the same way.
I feel like I cannot correct anyone in my family because I am the worst but EVERYONE seem to think they can CORRECT me.

I've been working for a company in North Carolina for 13 months now. My letter of intent stated that I would receive a monthly salary of $6,250. This is my first salaried position.
Inl work remote and my first month, April of 2023, I had some family medical issues going on. My mother had just been admitted to an ICU and these were things I had discussed during my interview process (3 interviews, 2 with hiring manager and operation manager and 1 with CEO). The family stuff was no issue; when filling out my first timesheet for the week the operations manager instructed me to to fill out time sheets with Loss of Pay for the days in which I had hours cut short.. be it to go pick up my mom, or if I was sick, etc (example, work 6 hours and then pick up and sit with my mom for 2 hours would be 6 hours of work and 2 hours of "Loss of Pay".
However, in October of 2023, I had a vacation I was planning. The company had offered me 3 weeks of PTO and 1 week of sick leave. These benefits were not listed on my account through our 3rd party payroll provider. I reached out to our operations manager (we don't, or didn't, have an official HR person. The operations manager said he would get my PTO and sick leave time put into then system and told me to have a nice vacation.
The time off benefits were finally added to my account in March of this year (2024). I also noticed on this month's (march) paycheck that my pay was finally at the offered amount of $6250.00. It stood out to me as it was for 173.33 hours (which I didn't understand what the significance was at the time) because I usually notice my hours marked at about 160-165 hours a month - they don't like giving out overtime hours. Then I noticed that my paystubs, even since my first one in April of 2023, say my rate is $6250, and that my "Basis of Pay" is salary.
Now that my April paycheck has come in, I notice it is exactly as my March paystub: 173.33 hours, $6,250.
However, my paychecks prior would range show my hours as the time actually put in (ie, 128 for April of 2023) and the dollar amount would be prorated from my salary to what seemed like an hourly amount ($4,641 in the case of April 2023).
Or, as another example, Jan 2024 has me at 162.83 hours, Pay $5,871.
Anytime I missed a single day, or a partial day, due to sickness (or anything else for that matter) I was instructed to use "Loss of Pay" on my timesheets. Also, I recall that my start date was April 3rd of 2023. My computer (a desktop) was mailed to me from the company and was suppose to arrive the Saturday prior. The mailing company lost the package and it was delayed. The monitors came in April 4th and the tower came in April 5th. I was ready and willing to work those days and it was out of my control that the company equipment necessary for my job had been delayed in post. Though.. I was also instructed to mark those first 2 days (April 3rd, 4th) as well has half of the 3rd day (April 5th, because the tower arrived at around noon) as "Loss of Pay".
Does this seem right? To me it almost seems like when I first started someone did not set up my payroll information correctly (PTO and Benefits not in system, appeared to be getting hourly pay instead of salary).. and then when someone went to correct and enter in my PTO benefits, the noticed I was being paid hourly and quietly corrected it to salary.
Here are some paystubs used in examples, personal information and company information removed:
April 2023: https://imgur.com/ADC6dt0 Jan 2024: https://imgur.com/uc4Ox5B March 2024: https://imgur.com/N7n3cJm

heyo, im 20F, just finished my bachelor's degree. this has been on my mind for a long time, 5 years to be precise. i feel like life just never happened for me. all the "life is over at 25" rhetoric made me realise ill be 21 in a little less than 5 months, and my life never even STARTED. i was a happy kid for the most part. sure, there were problems, i had moderate to severe asthma for about five years from 2-7, parents' unhappy marriage meant some terrible fights that i remember witnessing even as early as the age of 3, a small house (which ive now lived in all my life), very much a middle class household without too much money. but none of this really mattered too much back then, except the health part of it because obviously it directly affected me. ive always been good at studies, i was a talkative kid who was on good terms with almost everyone on school and had a few close friends every year, went on a lot of trips with my parents that we did enjoy, had some great times w my grandmother. i wouldn't say life was perfect, but it was simple and good.
the trouble started with my mom being kind of conservative when it came to befriending boys, which meant i always was shy and silent around guys, even though I was very much different around girls. a related issue (very much brought on by my mom) caused me to leave my friend group in the sixth grade, and after that honestly things were never the same. it was also around the same time that my friends from my society, who honestly were never good people OR friends anyway, also started bullying me for no reason at all. still even with a few too many traumatic experiences at home, school and the building, 11-13 was bearable because i was still a happy go lucky kid. since i turned 13, what with bullying in school, both physical and mental health problems (pcos, asthma, health anxiety, crippling depression) , family issues (remember the unhappy marriage?), being stuck in the same house and financial condition all my life, things seem to be irreparably screwed up. the other side of this is i missed out on EVERYTHING. every positive experience that people have between the age of 11 and 21, I missed out on. sure there's things i missed out on even before then, not being able to play downstairs like everyone else as a kid because of my asthma being an example, but those weren't things i WANTED in the first place. everything since 8th grade however.... god it's been hell. because of the asthma i couldn't do physical activity, so my weight always fluctuated, altho as a kid i was thin for longer than i was fat. but of course when puberty hit so did pcos, and i was overweight for almost all my teenage years. this along with me never knowing or wanting to put on make up meant i was quite unattractive as a teenager, and so had absolutely no romantic attention from anyone ever. only 3 people have had a crush on me in my (almost) 21 years of life. i lost a lot of weight this past year (on medical advice) and now that im better looking i see random guys look at me in public, and of course that means nothing now, because they wouldn't even have glanced at me a year ago. the friend scenario is just as hopeless, and not just because i happen to be going though a friendless phase for the past 8-10 months lol. at the moment i no longer have anyone from school that i consider a friend, and college is shaping up to be very similar with a couple exceptions.
the worst thing is i no longer have anything to show for academically either, and this coming from someone who had a 99.6% in her 12th boards lol. college was just a failure on every level, social, academic, EVERY LEVEL. and it was supposed to be a fresh start after 8-12th grade. made no real lasting friendships, didn't network, no real extra curriculars, didn't go away so no memories from hostel life, no parties or clubs, really nothing. truly, truly nothing.
ive had this vision in my head for the past 6-7 years of what i want my life to be like. that's one third of my life so far. and i still haven't achieved 1% of it. hell ive achieved 0%. i honestly don't know how i could end up as utter a failure as this. the worst thing is i've got so much potential, i really really do. and now it's all for nothing. the 'best years of my life' are gone, with no memories, no accomplishments, nothing. i must've written 1000 words here and that honestly barely scratches the surface of the past 10 years. i wish i could go back in time so bad. if I was 11 again i know exactly what id do, but at 20 i have no clue. i can't even decide about doing a master's degree, one that ive received an offer letter for and which ive always wanted to do. god i hate my life, and I'm so ashamed of myself. i don't expect anyone to read this far but if you do, id love some perspective.

I think the Goth family in my game is cursed. I have an Uberhood using clean templates that allowed me to bring Bella back. I made Mortimer a young man again. Since Mortimer and Bella have remarried, the following has happened. Bella caught on fire while burning leaves. Mortimer was able to extinguishe her. Mortimer caught on fire while burning leaves. He was also extinguished. I decided maybe it was time to move them out of the Goth family manor and into a new neighborhood. Since moving both Bella and Mortimer have been struck by lightning. Alexander caught on fire when he ran to a burning tree. He died and I brought him back. Starting to feel like the family is cursed.

Hi Ya'll,
I recently graduated OCS and I have been bombarded myself in real life over what to expect with OCS. For context I went from basic training straight to OCS, and even graduated with honors. From the time of writing this post, it has officially been a month since I graduated. So here is a list of common questions I get and I hope I can settle some anxiety for all of you future 2nd LTs.
Warning: The cadre at OCS do read these reddit posts, so I won't be able to post answers to tests or events.

1. I haven't received a welcome letter, or a packing list. Where can I find it?
   • Fort Moore Officer Candidate School (army.mil) I would download and print the packing list and the ISAP. The ISAP acts more or less like a syllabus from college. It will give a rough understanding of the rules, regulations, and requirements for you to pass.
2. Is everything on the packing list required?
   • Yes. Try your best to follow the packing list to the letter. It is almost entirely dependent on the cadre and of course weather does play a part in their decision making. Some things you'll find you didn't really need or use throughout your cycle. For example, my cycle didn't use 550 Cord almost at all, but I used it to build a hooch, and secure sensitive items.
3. What if I don't have of the required equipment on the packing list?
   • When it comes to military equipment, try your best and bring what you can. I was never issued an IFAK before OCS or after. The cadre understand they have some coming from basic and those in-service. So if you have it, bring it. If not, bring it up to your cadre and they'll schedule time to get it issued to you.
4. Anything not on the packing list you recommend?
   • I would recommend the following: hand soap, bathroom spray, travel vacuum, wet-wipes, clipboard with compartment, pillow, very bright headlamp, multitool, and laminator. Hand soap because for some reason OCS had a hard time procuring it. Travel vacuum because you'll likely have 2 or 3 vacuums available to your platoon and having your own saves time. Wet-wipes to dust everything down. Clipboard with compartment for Land Nav as you'll be running with maps, marker, protractor, and your points so its best to have something safe and secure. Laminator for your papers because its Georgia and your papers can get wet. The pillows at OCS have this weird plastic cover on so if you want a better night sleep, get a better pillow. The headlamp is just in case, some classes inform the lumen limit while others don't, Land Nav is DARK so if you can find a lighthouse out there, do it. The multitool is just useful to have especially if you are out in the field.
5. Where can I find somethings on the packing list I am missing?
   • Luckily there is a company called Commandos who helped us out the entire time. They have an OCS purchasing list you can take advantage of. They even deliver that weekend at the footprint.
   • Visit: https://commando-military-supply-9d5038.printavo.com/merch/ocs-packing-list/
6. I saw you can bring your laptops? Is it required for classes? Can I opted in for a tablet or iPad?
   • You can bring a personal laptop primarily for recreational use after the duty hours. OCS will provide you with a government laptop that you'll need to use your CAC to access. Tablets and iPads are not considered laptops and will be confiscated like a phone. If the majority of your class as issues with the laptops, then the cadre may allow the use of your personal laptops.
7. What is your day-to-day look like?
   • Mostly on a non-physical or FTX event coming up you'll follow the following schedule: 0500 - wake up. First formation is at 0600, then you conduct PT until breakfast. After breakfast you will head to the classroom and stay there until lunch, return and stay there until dinner. After dinner, it will be the end of the duty hours and you'll roughly have 2 hours for personal time.
8. What are the most important categories/test to focus on?
   • Treat everything important. Every test you do not pass can put you at risk of being recycled, and it is up to you to catch up. For example while everyone is studying for tactics, you'll be studying tactics and history if you failed history. So save yourself the hassle and take every test seriously. The big 3 recycle event have been historically, Army History (70% to pass), Land Nav (4 points or more to pass (day and night)), and the 4-mile run (need to run in under 36 minutes regardless of gender).
9. How many retests or chances do you get?
   • You get 2 tries at everything before recycle. You get 2 tries again at the same test then you can be dismissed. For example: You are part of Alpha company. You failed history twice. You get recycled into Bravo company. You failed history twice again. You can be dismissed.
   • If you happen to pass history but fail Land Nav twice, then you'll be recycled into Charlie. If you fail Land Nav twice then you can be dismissed.
10. What is a recycle? What does it look like in OCS? Can you get dismissed?
    • A recycle is when you failed something twice and you get "recycled" into the next class. A recycle can occur for other reasons such as illness or injury. You can also be recycled for improper behavior or being "peered out". Every class starts up in a like a month (I heard they are changing that for even further out). So even though the cycle takes about 12 weeks to complete, if you get recycled you can expect more like 16 weeks or more. We had someone at OCS you has been with it for a year. You get recycled for repeat offenses, or do something majorly bad such as breaking the law, then you can be dismissed.
11. What is being peered out mean?
    • Throughout the cycle you are put into a platoon and then a squad. Your squadmates eventually all sit down and fill out a form to give the cadre who is the weakest link in the squad. Usually squads kick out the person they do not like. We had to kick out one person because they didn't mesh well within the squad and wasn't very kind. He would then get replaced with someone else who got peered out. Luckily after that one person got kicked out, the squad improved and we tried our hardest to keep it together. We still needed to peer someone out, but we kept tabs with them and invited them to a lot of our squad functions nonetheless as my squads grew to love and respect each other as a family.
    • If you do get peered out, unfortunately you get a spot report, moved to a different squad, and are at risk of being recycled if peered out again. Stay humble and help out whenever you can. I got the most respect from my squadmates as I stayed up late with them to help them with their STX lanes.
12. What is personal time like?
    • You essentially use personal time to workout if the PT wasn't enough, clean yourself, and prepare for bed. Yes if you have time, you can contact family and friends (when you get your phones), and if you have the time, play games. I don't recommend playing games as it distracts you from the mission of graduating.
13. What are the different phases like?
    • You are separated into 3 phases. Black, Blue, and White. You immediately enter black phase upon arrival with a traditional called "Gold to Black". Which is more or less a physical smoking session. During Black you are expected to run everywhere, not be able to drink coffee, have your phone confiscated (and given back on Sunday), and have less personnel time. Blue you get the ability to drink coffee again, and you have your phones returned and used only during personal time. During blue you get the ability to visit and explore the base (Fort Moore) and shop around. During white phase you get the ability to explore off-base (Columbus) and you get to wear civilian clothes. White phase if you leave off-post, you need to be in uniform, and on-base you can be in civilians.
14. Can you use your personal vehicle?
    • Yes, but you can only drive it during White Phase
15. How can I keep in contact with my family during black phase?
    • I recommend that you download WhatsApp or some other social media on your laptop and have your family members on it.
16. Can I visit the gym on base?
    • Yes during blue phase you can visit the gym. Rule regulates that you leave the footprint in uniform and change into appropriate PT uniform once at the gym and conducting PT.
17. What is the DFAC like?
    • The DFAC is better than basic training and offers snacks like cookies, granola bars, ice cream, and soda. They have a salad bar and the usual cycle of foods. They do have a "short-order" line which serves fries, burgers, hot dogs, etc. To stay in physical shape, I recommend eating your fruits and a side salad every meal. Drink juice, Gatorade, or water only. I only drank soda and the burger after an intense physical requirement like a long-run or a ruck march to regain my glucose and caloric levels.
18. Does Amazon deliver there?
    • Yes you can have other things delivered to the footprint. However, the Cadre are going to inspect it for food and other contraband. Just ask the cadre for the delivery address. It may take like 2 weeks for them to deliver it.
19. Any final advice?
    • Be helpful and noticeable amongst your squad but try not to bring attention to yourself from the cadre. Take everything seriously and give yourself proper rest and proper nutrition. OCS is not hard, but it can be if you let it get to you. OCS is designed to test your competency, commitment, and character. I luckily had an amazing squad, and I had a blast with them.

I want this to be an open forum so don't be afraid to leave anymore questions below. If the answer you are seeking is not above, then write the question in the comments, and I will try my best to answer you before you are sent off. Best of luck, thank you for your service, and be the best leaders your soldier's deserve.