Skits for lent

A nice private casual family vacation, but not for Mallory Ervin. In the videos you notice her family is all casual laughing and just there to have fun, but Mallory had to make sure it's a fashion show with her obscene $20,000 vacation wardrobe. During her little attention seeking ootd skit, she was quick to mention her mother's shoes were Gucci, even though the mom didn't show her shoes. LOL She literally dresses like a circus clown in those tacky La Vie Style house dresses, that cost about $1000 each. She pairs them with clunky hooker shoes because she's 5 feet tall. Everything about this woman is pure narcissistic behavior and attention seeking down to her neon wardrobe. I can't stand this woman, but her cult followers are worse. I don't understand how they fall for her whole scheme. She's a theater major for fck sake. She does anything for attention and then profits off of it. A makeup YouTuber, reality tv star, an author writing about her fake addiction, selling cheap graphic tees for her scam motivational speaker line "living fully" and now selling cheap china pjs for $100 to her same gullible audience. It's actually sad how people fall for this. What's worse is she pretends she's a christian. She might want to read the part of the bible about greed and vanity. She's such a good Catholic she didn't even know we don't eat meat during lent. There's always going to be con-artists in the world and gullible losers that fall for it.

This might be a longshot but here goes.
Mad TV had an ongoing skit based around the premise that it was a photo diary of one of the women cast members. The photos were all still images, which lent to the humor. A reoccurring joke was that this cast member wasn't very well liked, however in the diary she remains upbeat. I'm pretty sure that I saw this in the early 2000s.
In this particular instance the cast member wanted to throw a party. She describes handing out invitations and everything. She describes how excited everyone was, however the photos of course show the exact opposite and that no one wanted to come. Day of the party, she's sitting at home alone. The only person to show up is Will Sasso. He tries hitting on her and when she refuses, he sets her house on fire. There's a series of photos of him walking away with a huge smile on his face.
I've tried finding this for a while now but just have never had any luck. I was going to ask at MADTV but it looks like that subreddit is pretty dead. Anyone remember this?

I'm reposting this here because for some reason on Filmmakers my post was immdeadtly removed by a automated system.
Hello, so I wanted to start working on this silly little passion project of mine but unsure of how to go about recording the audio. this will be my first time doing anything like this.
Background
this will be a skit of my time at a call centre in the UK. I don't want to give to much information away but it will be a recording of me working at a desk while I am taking calls (I will probably do the calls over discord)
the issue
because there will be two parts that need to be recorded. the audio over discord for the calls and me in real life at a desk. i am unsure how i will get these two audio files to sync. not only that but i want my voice and what i say audio to come from the camera recording me so it sounds more real which means that will have to be filtered out of the audio file from discord calls.
Additional info
My cousin who does video editing for YouTube channels recommended I use DaVinci as it has a free version (I'm writing this post while at work so i will update it later if this is wrong). I will also be going to CEX to look for a camera i can buy for this so any recommendations/specifications I should be getting for a new person would be great. I have a Scarlet solo mic I can use for myself over the discord call if that is anything that should be considered.
Unfortunate allot of my friends that where going to help me with this have gone over as term times for our uni has ended so I'm hoping there mics will be good enough otherwise I would of lent them mine.
Any and all recommendations would be great and if there is an other form or discord server I should be asking this on please let me know as i can the write question there.

Hello, so I wanted to start working on this silly little passion project of mine but unsure of how to go about recording the audio. this will be my first time doing anything like this.
Background
this will be a skit of my time at a call centre in the UK. I don't want to give to much information away but it will be a recording of me working at a desk while I am taking calls (I will probably do the calls over discord)
the issue
because there will be two parts that need to be recorded. the audio over discord for the calls and me in real life at a desk. i am unsure how i will get these two audio files to sync. not only that but i want my voice and what i say audio to come from the camera recording me so it sounds more real which means that will have to be filtered out of the audio file from discord calls.
Additional info
My cousin who does video editing for YouTube channels recommended I use DaVinci as it has a free version (I'm writing this post while at work so i will update it later if this is wrong). I will also be going to CEX to look for a camera i can buy for this so any recommendations/specifications I should be getting for a new person would be great. I have a Scarlet solo mic I can use for myself over the discord call if that is anything that should be considered.
Unfortunate allot of my friends that where going to help me with this have gone over as term times for our uni has ended so I'm hoping there mics will be good enough otherwise I would of lent them mine.
Any and all recommendations would be great and if there is an other form or discord server I should be asking this on please let me know as i can the write question there.

February is festival season so some posts are getting squeezed out of the stickied posts. Our post for Black History Month can be found here!

Happy Carnival! This is one place where the Dionysian prevails, from Wikipedia:
‘Elaborate costumes and masks allow people to set aside their everyday individuality and experience a heightened sense of social unity. Participants often indulge in excessive consumption of alcohol, meat, and other foods that will be forgone during upcoming Lent. Traditionally, butter, milk, and other animal products were not consumed "excessively", rather, their stock was fully consumed as to reduce waste. This festival is known for being a time of great indulgence before Lent (which is a time stressing the opposite), with drinking, overeating, and various other activities of indulgence being performed.’
The name itself may derive from 'Carrus Navalis', a tradition of carrying boats in honor of deities.
‘The festival consisted of a parade of masks following an adorned wooden boat, called in Latin carrus navalis, possibly the source of both the name and the parade floats.’
Dionysus himself was honored in such a fashion. From Sara Kate Istra Winter's Dionysian Festival List:
“Ship-Chariot Festival” – In Smyrna during the spring, there was a Dionysian festival where a holy trireme (an ancient Greco-Roman ship with three banks of oars) was borne around the marketplace in honor of the god. The trireme probably brought from the sea a revivified image of the god for spring, to ensure a good agricultural year. This festival may not originally be a Dionysian festival, considered by some to have evolved from a festival celebrating some ancient naval victory.
~
This is an interesting festival for Dionysians - coming in the same four month span of the Haloa, Brumalia, Saturnalia, Lenaia, Anthesteria, Phallephoria, Liberalia, and Dionysia; it’s not exactly that we’re in need of another festival of overindulgence and role reversals - though this is arguably a corruption from some of the aforementioned festivals, and also believed by some scholars to be wholly Christian.
It’s also a clearly timed festival, at least for Christians - it demarks the end of the joyous holiday season, of Christmastide and such, and the beginning of Lent - the next day that follows Fat Tuesday is Ash Wednesday, when they don ash and begin to abstain from meat on Fridays (This is a loosening of the belt from older times, where they abstained from meat throughout all lent and abstained from any food on Fridays).
It would be difficult for a Dionysian to observe an ascetic vigil either before or after this time - before, one might miss the joys of Brumalian feasts and New Year’s craziness, and the wines of Lenaia. After, one might miss the Dionysia and the Liberalia - and in alternate years, either could result in being sober during the Anthesteria - a great loss.
However, this is the most Dionysian festival of the modern era - its colors are purple, green, and gold, its symbols are masks, and it is celebrated with overindulgence, usurpation of social hierarchies, and every manner of mischief and mayhem. One can overdress into the office, and as long as one is carrying King Cake, it’s A-Ok. Celebrating Mardi Gras feels like suddenly everyone is a Dionysian - and it’s not a feeling to be missed.
~
Some additional reading:
Sara Kate Istra Winter offers two festivals in her list of Dionysian festivals, one to be celebrate on Shrove Monday and one for Fat Tuesday:

Thriambia – Triumphal ProcessionDate: Cheese Monday / mid-FebruarySynopsis: Celebrates Dionysos’ triumph over Pentheus, Lykourgos, the Indians, etc. As Dionysos was victorious, so too, can we overcome all of our obstacles.Possible features: Retelling of the myths, a triumphant procession (masked revellers), the composition and/or performance of Thriamboi, triumphal poems/songs/stories/jokes/limericks/mimes/skits/whatever of Dionysos Triumphant.Note: The ancient Triumphs are one almost certain source of the Carnival (Mardi Gras) parades, which are celebrated the day after Cheese Monday (thus tying this in with the following festival). Also, in fairly recent times, some rural Greeks celebrated a festival of the Kalogeros on this date, which may have Dionysian roots. Propompeia – For satyrs, maenads, etc.Date: Mardi Gras Tuesday / mid-FebruarySynopsis: A Festival in honor of the Propompoi, the companions and attendants of Dionysos in His revels – the Maenads, the Satyrs, the Muses, the Nymphs, the Graces, the Kouretes, etc. Everyone’s already honoring Dionysos with drunken carousing, rampant silliness, and great phallic worship on this day – we’ll just rechristen it.

Old, but very interesting, site on Dionysus and Carnival
Mardi Gras History, starting with Dionysian Spring festivals
And Dionysians in Greece celebrate with the Phallephoria!
Thoughts on Joy During Carnival Season and Times of Sorrow
Happy Carnival!

God, I cannot stand my child’s other parent sometimes honestly. Kid is 8, and I have made a rule of no YouTube. No judgement on other parents who allow it, but some of the absolute shit she was being recommended was such awful stuff and I created a blanket rule when I realized you can’t outright ban specific channels. We tried a harm reduction approach at first, but all algorithm roads seemed to lead back to really weird kids content. I’m talking troom troom pranks and it’s spin-offs. Channels of adult men playing with Barbies and other toys. Dissecting toys and injecting them. Unboxing of 100s of toys at a time. Mashups of bizarre songs and images. Excessive wealth and consumption and sponsorships being paraded by children as their normal day to day lives. Super inappropriate tik tok compilations. YouTube kids (the app) was no better.
It all came down to being such mindless, hypnotizing rubbish that id prefer to keep out of our house while we have some authority. I totally accept it’s not avoidable forever, and at that point I hope she’s at an age to have more of a discussion about internet safety.
My biggest concern was that she started YouTubing some pretty inappropriate stuff out of curiosity. Things like “giving birth”, “birth in cars”, “emergency birth” which lead to other videos like “man gives birth”, “48 hour painful labour” and bizarre acted skits about conception. It confirmed to me that she’s too young to manage the breadth of YouTube, and we got some books out to open up conversation and discuss her questions about how babies are born.
Anywho, her dad (my coparent) allowed her to secretly watch YouTube on Safari with a device I lent her. An old phone I gave her so she could listen to sleep stories at her dads house which she likes to do. I caught her tonight at my house, because she kept sneaking into her room and hiding the phone away. The mixed messages she got from him completely undermines a boundary she otherwise knows and accepts. I pay for numerous other subscriptions so she has choices of content. She felt so terrible and guilty about sneaking, and I felt totally unable to make any consequence because it is confusing when she gets mixed messages from her parents. Yet again she’s searching up pretty inappropriate things. I certainly don’t want to shame her, and feel like it’s up to us as parents to make clear boundaries for her which keep her safe on the internet. Something her dad seems to find a foreign concept.
I’ve tried talking to him about it. He seemed to accept it about 6 months ago. But now it’s come up again and he endorses hiding things from me and letting her do whatever she likes. Argh! If I’m being completely unreasonable please let me know gently.

I’m just overall terrified. My paranoia about my mother finding out is insane and it’s making me crazy, and honestly if I never had my experience with the Holy Spirit that proved to me the church to be truth, I would’ve dropped this months ago because of how exhausting this stress is. Even though the anxiety isn’t keeping me from completely dropping Catholicism, it certainly is preventing me from fully immersing myself into it.
I want to grow deeper in my faith but my fear of my mother finding out is holding me back and causing me so much pain. I literally had a panic attack yesterday because I thought I left my planner (where I have a daily Bible reading plan and video lesson schedule written out plus notes and quotes) open on the counter, even thought I thankfully didn’t. I made myself a lock box to hide all of my books and resources from her ever finding. I subscribed to Trent Horns podcast to get access to his catechism study series and became terrified and frantic when I learned after the fact that i would be sent a Catholic Answers magazine to my house, and freaked out for days, frantically emailed maybe three people there, (it was July 4th so I had to wait days to hear back), and even though I got confirmation I’m off the list I’m still terrified it might come in future months, even if I cancel the subscription. I don’t even listen to any Catholic videos when she’s on the same floor as me because I fear she’ll hear through my headphones or see the screen. I had to delete the podcast app since I would listen to Catholic podcasts on it and I couldn’t figure out how to not show the podcast (even when not playing) on the Lock Screen.
All of this fear honestly feels pathetic, especially because i know SO MANY have a lot worse situations, where they’ll be beaten, abandoned, kicked out, outcast, etc. if their parents/community found out, while mine I’m not worried would do any of that. My mother (only parent I live with/see) was born, raised and always lived very nominally Catholic, brought us to church a handful of times but never explained a thing. She taught CCD but the classes were literally just me and the other girls talking about school, eating popcorn and doing some of the skits in the CCD workbook. She said to us the Eucharist is “just bread, we pretend it’s Jesus but it’s not actually”, only brought me to confession once because it was required for CCD, had me receive my first communion (which I don’t believe I was worthy of because I didn’t confess before) and then after that, the second I had pretty basic questions (the questions you’d expect from a middle school atheist), she had zero answers, I became an atheist and didn’t care at all.
Ever since I became atheist she dropped Catholicism entirely. But rather than outright hate it, she just mocks/ridicules it. She supports abortion, thinks the church is evil for not allowing homosexual “marriage”, laughs and scoffs at anyone who takes religion seriously, if someone on a show we watch brings up religion in any serious sense she scoffs and rolls her eyes. She says she likes people who are religious, but only the ones who are religious in the sense she once was (they ignore core teachings if they go against modern “morality”, and they don’t know or care to know all that much about the faith).
She also still sees herself as somewhat Catholic too, because she might give up something for Lent but participate in none of the other aspects of it (no fasting, no mass, etc.), or she might do the sign of the Cross every now and then. But I honestly think she wholeheartedly believes this is all it means to be Catholic, since this is exactly how her “Catholic” friends act, and how her parents were too (my grandfather was Protestant and my grandmother was the exact same type of Catholic, rarely went to church and didn’t believe most of the teachings).
So basically, how I know she’d think of me and treat me if I “came out” to her is she would think I’m a loon, crazy for actually knowing what I believe and believing in it fully, being stupid for wanting to go to church every Sunday if not more (which I know she’d never bring me because it would take her “too much time” for such an “insignificant” thing), get mad at me for wanting to go so much, and overall just have a general disdain for me because of my new “hobby” (how she’d see it). And all of that just terrifies me, even though I know it’s a pathetic fear.
And that’s just the beginning of the fear, I’ve got intense fear about going to church as well. Being just a new random young woman walking in alone, with no idea what she’s doing. In a place where no one knows me and the fear if someone sits near me or tries to talk to me, or the thought of reaching out to the priest for guidance and needing to approach him alone. That alone is terrifying but on top of what I explained above just makes this even harder. I really am just a giant ball of mess and fear…
Where I’m at now is, whenever I can move out (many many years away), I can finally fully live out my faith, but I don’t want to have to wait that long because of this stupid fear. I think maybe once I can drive, but that again will be another few years likely (I’m 20 BTW, I just can’t drive for medical reasons). But even then I’ll need to answer where I went and I can’t lie.
I’m so paralyzed in fear, I have to contain my religious life to 6 hours a day 4 days a week (the time she’s at work) and I’m getting so tired of it. I want to live it out daily but the fear is just so crippling and it’s so exhausting. I feel like I’m going crazy…
That’s the end of my vent/plead for help, any ideas, thoughts, prayers you would like to share Im all ears. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Thank you and bless you all

Fuck an intro, nigga, let's just get it
May - AEW
We start off with... the Blackpool Combat Club. Bryan Danielson, Jon Moxley, and Wheeler Yuta, all being mentored by the legend William Regal. They have been dominating in tag team matches as of late, and after squashing let's say, the Ass Club, Regal takes to the mic, announcing it's time they bring their brand of violence to a higher plane, where that of GOLD will be up for grabs. Regal blesses both Danielson and Mox with fiery chops, telling them it's time they chase for championships themselves.
Meanwhile Jonathan Gresham graces AEW with his presence as well. The RoH World Champion enjoys having an even bigger platform, having a surprisingly damn good exhibition match with Chuck Taylor on Dynamite. As he celebrates, shaking hands with the Kentucky Gentleman, the BCC's music hits. The Best Friends turn, locking eyes with Yuta, only to be brushed aside, all eyes on the champ.
Regal, now on the mic, dresses down Gresham, giving him props, as he is a strong champion. BUT, he cannot compare to the history of the title he holds, in fact, nothing can. Except the brand of violence that his group has been establishing. Gresham gets a mic of his own and says if he's going to have to deal with the BCC, then so be it. But it will be on HIS terms. And just like how they tested Yuta before he could join them, he'd like to test Yuta, as he is a former Pure Champion himself. For Rampage, we have a main event set: a RoH World Championship Eliminator. Pure Champion Wheeler Yuta vs World Champion Jonathan Gresham.
On Rampage, we see the two clash and put on a class example of technical wrestling, Gresham, seemingly in his prime fighting off the pressure of a hungry Yuta, ready to push for more championships. But despite his best efforts, the young star cannot overcome the Octopus and his endless submission holds. Passing out like he did against Mox, Yuta looks amazing in defeat. But Greaham can't celebrate for too long, as the rest of the BCC enters.
Danielson goes nose to nose with Gresham, obviously a bit pissed. He says the only reason he isn't stretching him out (ayo?) until his limbs pop off is because he has too much respect for the title he holds. But trust, please trust... they are not done. Forbidden Door is coming, only a few weeks away. Moxley and Danielson want in on some action. And if Gresham thinks he can take them out too... then he'll be there, ready and raring for a fight. Danielson drops the mic, and leaves with Regal and Yuta, Mox staring down Gresham, almost as if he's imagining all the ways he can break him into little pieces.
Forbidden Door
We are here, folks. A night where seemingly any and all stars from any company (well, except one), can come in and take part of history. And halfway through the night... we have the BCC's music hit.
Out comes Moxley and Danielson, geared up and ready to go. Regal taking his place at the announce table. Yuta, having already defended his Pure Championship against Trent in the opener, is resting up backstage, letting his stablemates handle business. Gresham enters, mic in hand, title around his waist.
He says it took him a while to settle on a partner. But he's glad to announce that not only is his partner a class act, but they've never dealt with a man like him. Gresham knows that Danielson can relate, as both have had life altering injuries, yet fought through the pain and became immortal because of it. Only this man... this man fought on behalf of an entire nation. Please welcome... an Olympic Hero...
To everyone's shock, it's Kurt Angle! Everyone, and I mean everyone's face is full of shock as a young Olympian, fitted out with a clean singlet enters, carrying an American flag. Even Regal is taken aback, as Angle joins Gresham, walking down to the ring without a second thought. A lot of people have seen Angle on the news, on ESPN at this point, but he's in AEW now??? What the Hell?
Angle locks eyes with Mox, the DeathRider taking this as a challenge, the intensity rising before they can even start. The referee breaks it up, keeping both at bay, until he can ring the bell. IT'S ON!
Blackpool Combat Club vs Gresham & Angle
Moxley and Angle start out the match. Jon, shrugging off the shock factor, gets ready to manhandle Kurt and make an example of him. But boy, oh boy, it's a challenge. Mox takes control with a headlock, but Angle slips out and shoves him. After going back and forth with collar and elbow tie ups, starting holds, Angle and Moxley break off, having got a feel for each other. Angle cockily tell him to BRING IT. Mox rushes him, only for Angle to slip behind, and get him up for a COLOSSAL GERMAN SUPLEX!
The big move makes the whole crowd gasp, not realizing Kurt is really with the shits. Mox scrambles to his feet, eyes wide, surely seeing red as Angle nods, satisfied getting one over former World Champ. Moxley immediately responds with a CHOP, Kurt clenching his jaw as he connects with a fist to Jon's jaw. They go back and forth, until Angle tries going for another German! Moxley roughly shoves Angle off, before Danielson calls for a tag, promoting Gresham to do the same! Angle and Mox both tag out, and they let Gresham and Danielson begin their sequence, the two technicians starting to battle! For five minutes straight, Bryan and the RoH World Champion slip put of each other's holds and manuevers, wowing the crowd endlessly!
Danielson is aiming for the knees and legs, hoping to set up for a heel hook, but Gresham battles back with shots to the ribs, looking for an Octopus Hold. But Moxley slides in as Gresham runs the ropes, taking his head off with a lariat! Having not seen the blind tag, Gresham tries to fight off Moxley's onslaught, but is pushed to the apron. Jon charging up for a big running attack, only for Angle to come in at the last second! BELLY TO BELLY!
Moxley rolls out to ringside, Angle staring him down, only to turn and see Danielson fire off a big dropkick to Gresham, knocking him beside Moxley! Angle quickly tosses Bryan out of the ring, before looking out at the audience, still somewhat surprised to see an American Hero there. Looking to shake them out of their shock, Angle climbs the top rope, the crowd starting to question what's about to happen next! The Gold Medalist, back turned to the group forming at ringside, decides to take a leap of faith! MOONSAULT TO THE OUTSIDE, CONNECTS PERFECTLY AS THE AUDIENCE STARTS GOING WILD!
Despite having spot of the match (possibly the night) Angle's efforts aren't enough to get Gresham back into the match. Danielson starts to take over the match, targeting the knees, dismantling the already weathered limbs. Gresham tries to roll out of the ring for a rest, but he ends up right next to Moxley, who violently smashes his head against the barricade and ring post, running back his back into the apron before throwing him in like trash. Angle, fired up now, tries to meet Moxley, but the referee puts a stop to it, just as Danielson starts to stomp Gresham's head in! Kurt, feeling the pressure, returns to his side as Gresham kicks out, still survivng!
For another five minutes, Danielson beats down on Gresham, but the Octopus alowly starts making a comeback. On one knee, he dodges a shoot kick to the chest from Bryan. In one fluid motion, he falls back, letting Danielson swing around for a miss, only to kip up and look for a schoolboy! 1... 2... kickout! Bryan recovers to quickly land a shoot kick to the torso, but Gresham fights back with a knife edge chop, before stomping on his foot and labding a Russian leg sweep! Both men are gassed, looking for tags! Angle and Mox reaching out... TAGS MADE, LET'S GET IT ON!
Angle and Mox collide for a big brawl in the middle of the ring, going back and forth with no holding back! Jon starts to take over, expelling Angle from the ring, watching as he slowly collects himself near the ramp! Moxley, feeling the energy of the crowd, rips of shirt off, throwing it to the audience runs the ropes, charging up! TOPE SUICIDA, WAIT! KURT CAUGHT HIM, BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX ON THE OUTSIDE! Angle throws Mox back into the ring, sliding in himself! OFF WITH THE SINGLET STRAPS, SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL! Danielson comes in, gutwrench suplex to him! Bryan rolls out, only to bump into Gresham, who distracts him with some big chops and palm strikes!
Kurt stalks Moxley as Gresham disposes of Danielson on the outside. The first German suplex has Mox shook, trying to regain his bearings. The second has him absolutely rocked, trying to break free of Kurt's grip, but to no avail! Kurt gets up to his feet, and takes a couple steps back, just in time for Gresham to make the blind tag! A THIRD GERMAN TO MOX!
Angle returns to his feet yet again, but Jon tries to land a back elbow! Angle dodges, and with Mox's arm on his neck, he lifts him, back suplex style, as Gresham slides in, catching the legs perfectly! GOTCH STYLE PILEDRIVER FROM JONATHAN GRESHAM! Angle watches out for Danielson as his partner makes the cover! 1... 2... 3! THE BCC HAS MET ITS MATCH TONIGHT!
Gresham & Angle defeat Blackpool Combat Club (17:30)
Gresham and Angle, both hyped, enjoy the spotlight after their victory, the BCC recovering on the stage, pissed off, taken aback, but most importantly, confused...
Dynamite
The fallout episode of Dynamite is here, and one of the big stories going in is the arrival of Kurt Angle. At the start of the show, the commentators hype this guy up as the next big thing. Clips of his run through the Olympics are shown, giving anyone not informed of Angle's background is quickly let in on what type of athlete he is. One of grit, one of passion, one of dedication. It's finally time to see Kurt Angle appear on Dynamite...
... And this motherfucker pulls up wearing a fanny pack. A fanny pack. To everyone's surprise, the first impression Kurt makes while appearing backstage, is that of a dork. But rather than portray an annoying, irritating nerd like he did in real life, Angle is much more tame, a lot more lovable this time around. Angle walks into catering with Jonathan Gresham, immediately running into Hangman Page and the Dark Order.
After teasing a moment of confrontation, John Silver asks Kurt if he knows who this is. Angle, look of intensity on his face, nods, before saying he came prepared. He reaches into his fanny pack... and pulls out a can of beer. Taken aback, Page is even more surprised to feel that the can is ice cold! Page asks Kurt if he's got a beer, only for Angle to pull out a glass of milk from the same fanny pack. Page shrugs, and everyone relents, the two drinking as everyone around them socializes.
More interactions like this happens throughout the night. Kurt hitting it off with the likes of Swere and Keith Lee, having a laugh with Chuck Taylor, everyone loves this fucking goofball. Except... the BCC. As Kurt passes by, not noticing them, they all display a wife range of emotions. Regal has a calculated look on his face, almost trying to strategically pick apart Angle from mind alone. Danielson is pissed off. Moxley is confused. Yuta is curious.
Kurt has his first match on Dynamite the next week, facing Trent of the Best Friends. After ten minutes of action, Angle puts Trent away with the Angle Slam, Trent down for the count and picking up his first singles victory in AEW. And he celebrates... only to be interrupted. Of course.
The BCC enter, not surrounding Kurt, all of them standing on the apron. Regal bigs up the Olympic Hero, saying he has spent time reading up on who this man is ever since he first debuted. But now, he's found himself in new territory. Danielson takes the mic, and says that Angle was the reason behind their first loss as a team. And whether he likes it or not, they are going to collect that win back, one way or another.
Moxley takes over, and says for the first time, he can't get a read on one of his foes. Usually, it's easy yo figure someone out. But Kurt is up, down, left, and right all at the same time. What is Angle's game? Is he a goofball, was that match at Forbidden Door just a fluke? Or does Angle think he can run mind games against the most violent group in all of wrestling. Kurt gets his own mic, and jokes, saying he's already an American Hero, maybe he felt like kicking ass and taking over Blackpool as well. Mox grits his teeth, gripping the ropes, ready to attack... only he's not the one to step forward.
It's Wheeler Yuta. He steps up to Kurt, going so far as to snatch the mic from him, Kurt's smile fading a bit. Yuta says he's still not sure if Angle's serious, but trust him when he says he doesn't play around and bullshit. Angle struck against his stable, his family. Now it's his turn to strike back. He wants him one on one, cause they BOTH got something to prove.
Angle snatches the mic back, and says that's fine with him. But since he's so used to competing with gold on the line... as he happily gestures to his gold medal. He's hoping Yuta knows where he's going with this. Yuta looks down at his RoH Pure Championship, before unhooking it, quickly raising it to Angle's face, getting a nod in return. The match is made for the night one of Fyter Fest: Angle vs Yuta for the RoH Pure Championship.
On Rampage a week later, Angle has another great performance ending in a win, this time against Angelico. After the match, Kurt cuts a promo, saying the Blackpool Combat Club might have trouble trying to figure him out, but being distracted by that won't matter, because Angle is going to kick Yuta's ass, just like he did Mox and Danielson. This brings out Yuta, who immediately goes head to head with Kurt, the two trash talking each other worse and worse as the intensity is brought even further.
Fyter Fest
It's time for the main event. That's right. The Pure Championship is getting the main event slot. Angle enters first, his red, white, and blue singlet doing the Olympic Hero justice. Yuta enters all business, Regal already at commentary as his pupil shares a look with him, before pressing on, holding his title up with pride. Both are ready. The referee is ready. The bell rings... BEGIN!
RoH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta (c) vs Kurt Angle
The match starts off hot, Angle walking in for a collar and elbow tie up, only for Yuta to meet him with a hard forearm! The Pure Champion advances, backing Kurt into a corner as he rains down forearms and elbows, slowly wearing down the Olympic Gold Medalist! Yuta starts to get more and more bold with his attacks, running the ropes and jumping into big attacks in the corner! But all it takes is a quick switch from Angle at the last second, and Yuta goes crashing into the turnbuckles!
Angle follows right up, looking to hit the Angle Slam, Yuta slips out! Schoolboy roll up from Wheeler! 1... kickout! Angle and Yuta, now on a level playing field, go back and forth, their styles clashing seamlessly to create a highly anticipated battle. Kurt is sending Yuta flying with belly to belly suplexes, but Wheeler coming right back with an Air Raid Siren, a dropkick, and diving crossbody! This match is contained to the ring completely, no ringside brawling, no shenanigans, as Kurt and Yuta do the Pure Championship justice with their technical prowess!
Fifteen minutes in, it looks like Yuta's begun to take over. After connecting with a frog splash for a near fall, the Pure Champion starts to feel the momentum fully swing into his corner, maybe for the last time! He looks to elbow Angle's neck as he's seated, but Kurt fights back! He throws Yuta off in front of him, snatching him up for a German suplex! Yuta tries scrambling, but there's no stopping Angle, who rocks him with ANOTHER German, Angle's face covered in sweat, but he continues to go! He caps it off with yet another German, before taking down the straps, ready to finish this!
He attempts an Angle Slam, BUT YUTA ESCAPES, CATCHING HIM WITH A CLOTHESLINE TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Yuta screams in intensity, before starting to lock in the crossface, ready to put Angle away! But Kurt's struggling, refusing to be put down! He rolls out, and lands yet ANOTHER BELLY TO BELLY! Angle picks Yuta up, Angle Slam incoming! He's setting up, NO! YUTA SLIPS OUT, COUNTERING INTO A SUNSET FLIP, NO! ANGLE SITS DOWN ON HIM BEFORE HE CAN DO IT! HOOKES LEGS! 1... 2... 3! WE GOT A NEW PURE CHAMPIONSHIP!
Kurt Angle defeats Wheeler Yuta to win the RoH Pure Championship (16:34)
Kurt holds his first championship in his hand as he takes in the crowd, the surreal sight of an American Hero jumping up and down like the nerd he is, clutching his gold medal and new title as if they're his first born children.
Fyter Fest Fallout
After winning the Pure Championship in a banger match, Angle continues to progress and give the audience more and more of his character. In a company full of anti heroes and edgy characters, Angle is a breath of fresh air, not afraid to let himself look silly.
After Fyter Fest, we see Max Caster defeat Jungle Boy on Dynamite. And of course, the Acclaimed ambush Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus, deciding that they're going to take their moment in any way they can. But in comes Kurt Angle! Rushing in without a second to spare, he fights off Caster and Bowens, both sending them packing up with Germans galore! The Acclaimed stare down Angle, backed up by Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus as they are forced to regroup.
The next week, Angle is cutting a promo, addressing the fans and the future of his reign. But in their own backwards form of justice, the Acclaimed interrupt, beating down the Pure Champion after a lengthy freestyle making fun of Kurt's goofy personality.
On the next Dynamite, the Acclaimed brag about being on such a role lately. Defeating Jungle Boy, beating down that geek Kurt Angle, they might as well go all the way and earn themselves those AEW Tag Team Championships. But low and behold... they are joined... by this man.
Kurt Angle, pulling a microphone out of his fanny pack, enters to a trap remix of his theme, beginning to freestyle on Caster and Bowens! Kurt caps off the freestyle by throwing out a challenge to Caster for a match, telling him to put his money where his mouth is. He'll even put the title on the line. Seeing this as a big opportunity, Caster can't say no, and Angle surprises Anthony Bowens with an Angle Slam, walking off with a big smile on his face, showing off as Caster threatens to destroy him.
The match itself, which happens on Rampage that week, is a sleeper hit. Kurt and Max clash for twelve minutes, the champ trying to carry the weight of gold as he endures his first challenge. Caster plays a classic heel using whatever it takes to win, but we see more and more potential shine through in this match. Caster even gets a couple near falls, especially when Bowens interferes, cracking him over the head with the boom box! But, Kurt's first defense as Pure Champion is a successful one, as Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus are able to make the save! Holding Bowens at bay, it allows Angle to fight off another shot with the boom box, and latch on the Angle Lock, forcing Caster to tap out! Momentum is building for Kurt.
Build to All Out
Following his defense against Max Caster, Kurt starts to turn up the heat on himself, raising the flag high as he proudly reps being Pure Champion. He defends against former champion Josh Woods on an episode of Ring of Honor television. Back on AEW, he has clinics with underrated guys like Dante Martin, Lee Moriarty, and John Silver. Back on Ring of Honor TV, Kurt defends the Pure Championship against Jay Lethal and Bandido, starting to really solidify his reign as champion. But an old foe decides to come out and speak on Kurt, after the two seemingly took different paths...
Bryan Danielson stands in the ring, mic in hand as he ponders his words, having just said the reason he's out here is one man: Kurt Angle. Danielson says that he's no stranger to prancing around in silly skits, and being a jackass, all in an an effort to please the fans. But when Kurt Angle does it at the expense of the BCC, it's a dangerous move. It's a waste of their time, and when you piss off violent entities like that, you're bound to have a rough time. He knows Kurt is off for the night, and he's glad. Because he wants Angle to know and process this: when they eventually step into the ring, he will truly know what is violence is.
Kurt is with Tony Schiavone, being asked how he feels about Danielson calling him out. Angle laughs, saying he could reply saying it's a dangerous move to make Angle remember about the BCC. He DOES has a couple wins over them. And he certainly doesn't mind getting another one at Bryan Danielson's expense. So Danielson can talk and talk, but until they meet face to face to settle this, he'll continue on his merry way. Angle leaves, whistling as he carries his Pure Championship. Later on in the night, it's hyped up for next week, a face to face between Angle and Danielson.
Both men enter the week after, wearing completely different demeanors. Danielson is all business, Angle is Angle. The first to speak is Danielson, who questions Angle's entire deal. He's supposed to be this Olympic Gold Medalist, this American Hero? Yet he acts like a child? There's no doubt of talent, but the mentality is what stumpts Danielson. Not only stumps, but it angers him. ESPECIALLY when Angle holds a title that Danielson has claimed and represented before. There's nothing "Pure" about Angle. And he needs a reality check before he continues his career in this industry.
Kurt, almost as a response in itself, pulls a microphone from his fanny pack. Drawing some laughs from the crowd, Angle says quite the contrary. He doesn't need a reality check, because he hasn't succeeded in spite of his image, he has succeeded BECAUSE of it.
He's one of AEW's fast rising stars, and he's only just entered the business! He may not be pure in personality, but he sure as well wrestles well enough to keep this title, and that's all that matters. Angle shoots back hard, mentioning how long it took Danielson to really shine. Years and years and years. Maybe that's why Angle sticks out to him, why he's trying to figure him out. Maybe the burning question is: what is it about Kurt Angle that Bryan Danielson didn't have? And why was Angle able to rise to prominence so quickly, while Danielson had to struggle for so long?
Danielson cracks a smile, but he's obviously a bit pissed. He says Angle can talk and talk and talk all he wants, but that's not going to get them anywhere. They're both out there for a reason. And it involves the ring that they stand in. Danielson makes the challenge: Dragon vs Gold Medalist at All Out... Kurt thinks about it, and takes a step further... Danielson said he held this title before? Maybe he'd like to be Kurt's biggest challenge to date. All Out. Pure Championship on the line. Angle vs Danielson. Bryan, laughing now, shakes Angle's hand, saying he will soon regret this.
All Out
In the middle of the card, it's finally time to see a big clash between the young upstart Kurt Angle vs the seasoned veteran Bryan Danielson. The two technical maestros both enter with purpose. There's no wasting time, no pomp and circumstance. It's time for a classic. RING THE BELL!
RoH Pure Championship: Kurt Angle (c) vs Bryan Danielson
Danielson and Angle lock up in the middle of the ring, collar and elbow tie up. Kurt uses the weight advantage to back Bryan into the ropes, the referee now calling for a break. Angle slowly, slowly lets go of Danielson, before backing away and doing some jumping jacks, getting a rise out of the crowe as Danielson steps back up. Danielson once again getting in a battle of holds with Angle, but this time he goes low and picks a leg, forcing the takedown of the American Hero. He quickly pounces on Angle's head, immediately going for the LeBell lock! Kurt escapes and scrambles, retreating as Danielson transitions, now looking for a roundhouse kick. Bryan aims a deadly foot at his head, but comes up empty! Angle bounces off the ropes, looking for a big boot, Danielson surprises him with a schoolboy roll up! 1... 2... the Pure Champion kicks out at the last second!
Kurt rolls away, pulling himself up on the ropes. He stands up, much more wary of the American Dragon now. Danielson stands in the middle as Kurt circles him, standing his ground. But he gets a bit too overzealous, as an attempt at a forearm leaves him open, and Angle attacks. The Olympic Gold Medalist lands a punch to the midsection and a forearm, before throwing Danielson into the ropes and taking him down with a back elbow. Angle picks him back up, this time connecting with a hard chop to the chest. He throws the arm behind his neck, abd picks Danielson up, only to drop him with a back suplex! He goes for the pin, hooking the leg, looking to finish off the Beard. 1... 2... Danielson stays alive!
Angle shakes his head and picks him back up, rocking him with a a punch to the nose. As Bryan stumbles, Kurt sets him up for a snap suplex, fixing his footing for the execution. But as Danielson gets lifted up, he slowly comes back to life, struggling, fighting against Angle's attempt! Kurt sets him down, now pounding on his back with his fist, trying to subdue the American Dragon. He lifts him back up, but Bryan lands behind him and quickly hits the Regal-plex!
Danielson riles the crowd up as Angle slowly gets back to his feet. Bryan lands European uppercut after European uppercut, switching to chops and forearms, sending Kurt Angle stumbling to the corner. Bryan gets the crowd excited, teasing the corner dropkick. He gets a running start, rushing to Angle, but the Pure Champion dodges, forcing Bryan to land on the second turnbuckle! But it doesn't take long for him to regroup, leaping off the turnbuckle to land a big diving clothesline! Danielson lands a dragon screw leg whip, before grabbing the arms, stomping Kurt's head in over and over again. Bryan targets the leg again, hitting another dragon screw, before locking in the Heel Hook! Angle screams out in pain as the Beard wrenches on the leg, trying to get the submission victory. To turn up the heat, he starts to connect with elbows to the knee, taking the life out of Kurt with each blow. Angle scratches and claws at the mat, trying his best not to give in, doing whatever he can to reach the ropes. For a minute, Angle is tortured by Danielson's submission prowess, just inches away from the rope! He reaches out, trying his best to get just a finger on it... HE GRABS THE ROPE!
The referee notifies Bryan, and he has no choice but to let go. Angle crawls out to the apron, before dropping down to the floor, now clutching at his damaged leg. Danielson, tired as ever, musters the strength to get back up and think of what to do next. As Angle slowly uses the apron to stand up, Danielson gets a running start, bouncing off the ropes multiple times, looking for a tope that will knock the American Hero out of his boots. Bryan sprints, leaping through the ropes... BUT KURT CATCHES HIM! HUGE ANGLE SLAM! WHAT AN ANGLE SLAM ON THE OUTSIDE!
Now limping, the Pure Champion rolls Danielson back into the ring as fast as he could, sliding in himself and hopping onto him, beckoning the referee to count the pin. 1... 2... DANIELSON SOMEHOW KICKS OUT! Angle grabs at his head and pounds the mat, before yelling out in frustration. He pulls Bryan up by the hair while trying to get the feeling back in his leg. With Danielson woozy, Angle takes advantage. He's looking for another Angle Slam, only for Bryan to reverse it into an arm drag! Angle crawls to the corner, only to get rocked by a massive dropkick! Bryan charges back up, and hits yet another dropkick! He tries to send Angle into the opposite side, but he counters, trying to land a move from behind. But Bryan uses the momentum to hop the turnbuckles, flipping over Angle, before bouncing off the ropes and hitting the flying clothesline! The crowd starts to chant "YES YES YES" as Danielson moves in on a now kneeling Angle.
He finally lands the shoot kicks, turning Kurt's torso beet red as he pulls back with each thunderous strike. After rocking Kurt about 10 times, Danielson finally backs up for the roundhouse kick. He comes in hot, looking to kick his head in, only for Kurt to duck, turn Bryan around, and quickly hit a German suplex! He follows it up with another, then another, before turning Bryan around and just tossing him with a gnarly belly to belly! He hooks the leg, using all of his might to make sure Danielson stays down! 1... 2... BRYAN KICKS OUT AGAIN!
Angle, desperate, looks for another move. Looks for another offensive attack to put the American Dragon away for good. He slowly looks toward the top rope... and he gets an idea. Angle, still trying to stay upright with his hurt leg, climbs the turnbuckles, trying to hurry before Bryan can recover. He slowly stands up at the top, looking out at the crowd... and leaps into the air, aiming for a glorious moonsault... DANIELSON DODGES! KURT GOES CRASHING TO THE MAT! HEEL HOOK LOCKED IN! He's got it cinched in, Angle's got nowhere to go! He tries crawling to the ropes, but Bryan rolls, leaving the two in the middle of the ring! Danielson pulls back on the knee, leaving Angle no choice but to tap the mat repeatedly. The referee rings the bell, and he slumps to the mat. And new... first ever two time Pure Champion...
Bryan Danielson defeats Kurt Angle (c) to win the RoH Pure Championship (23:09)
Danielson smiles as he's presented with the familiar title. He stands up, looking at the crowd, reassured as they go wild for him, having produced an absolute classic at All Out. Danielson's eyes fall on Angle, clutching his leg as he sits in the corner. Taking his first loss since debuting, he's down, but sees Bryan approaching. Danielson has a hand extended to the former champion. Angle takes it, and is helped up by Danielson. American Hero and American Dragon stand together in the ring, having a moment of mutual respect.
All Out Fallout
Following All Out, Angle hopes to bounce back. He's optimistic about his future, saying he's ready to win more gold. As we slip into September and October, Kurt truly starts coming into his own, the audience now used to his shitck of being a goofball outside the ring, and an absolute wrestling machine inside it.
He continues to have bangers on both Rampage and Ring of Honor TV, tying up with the likes of Ricky Starks, Shane Taylor, Swerve Strickland, Mark Briscoe, and walking out victorious. But as Full Gear approaches, and the AEW World Championship Eliminator Tournament is announced... Angle is shockingly snubbed from inclusion. Disappointed, Angle regroups, trying to figure out his next move. As we press on in late October, Kurt makes an appearance on Ring of Honor, looking a little more serious than usual.
But he has to crack a smile after the audience shower him in cheers, as he's become a fan favorite these past few months. Angle says that as of right now, his primary focus is Ring of Honor. And he thinks it's about time he become a champion again. Oh it's true, it's DAMN TRUE.
Angle says to bring all comers and challenges, and he will knock em all down until he's holding gold! Angle leaves the ring, having sent his message clearly. But as he makes his way to the back, he bumps into the RoH Champion, whose music thunders throughout the crowd as he enters. Angle smiles, and nods, gesturing for the champ to take his place. Samoa Joe grips his strap and mean mugs Angle, before pressing on, focused on the task at hand.
Build to Final Battle
The next few weeks, Angle is built up further in order to solidify himself as a credible challenger to Samoa Joe. Following his order, RoH puts a murderer's row in front of him to prove his worth. Former champions and seasoned veterans like Dalton Castle, Alex Shelley, and Jay Briscoe. These are all hard fought, grinding matches that Angle earns each time, fifteen minutes and up. Finally, in what is touted as Angle's final test... is the man who brought him in at the very beginning. Former World Champion, Jonathan Gresham.
Having lost the title to Joe, he wants a shot at the Right Hand of Destruction as well. They go twenty minutes, back and forth, Angle and Gresham tearing the house down, all for a shot at Joe. Gresham tries to finish off Angle with the Octopus, but Kurt overpowers him, and with one last burst, puts Gresham down for the count with a thunderous Angle Slam.
One three count later, and Angle pumps his fist in victory, having signed his name to the big marquee. Samoa Joe vs Kurt Angle is all but confirmed for Final Battle... and speak of the devil... in comes Joe. The champion and challenger have a standoff worthy of the biggest title fight Ring of Honor will hold in years.
Two segments before the fight. The first: a face to face between Joe and Angle. Joe rips into Angle about his character, verbally tearing down that goofy smile and the ridiculous character Kurt walks around with. And because he is a monster at the end of the day, Joe plays heel, headbutting Angle, and choking him out with the Coquina Clutch, not bothering to let go even when agents and backstage talent tries to get him to stop.
A week later, Kurt returns the favor, himself cutting a promo after Joe has a tune up match against Josh Woods. Kurt goes over how ever since Joe returned, the company has let him become a monster, a bully who can't control his own power. Well luckily for Joe, Angle is the challenge for him. At Final Battle, Angle is going to take that title. Joe stops him, and says Angle must be delusional, because if he remembers, he put Kurt TO SLEEP last week, while he was fresh and ready. Angle can't and WON'T hang with that, so he better stop lying.
Kurt laughs, and says Joe doesn't realize... he hasn't come unprepared. No no no, in fact... he's been training. Ever since October he has been in the gym, working on his craft, getting better and better with every passing day. And there was one thing that was definitely lacking in Angle's arsenal: his submission game. Luckily, an old foe who gained respect for Angle lent a hand, and helped him develop the very move he needed to stop Joe in his tracks.
The Yes chants begin to invade the crowd, and Joe scoffs at them. That one second of distraction gives Angle the opening he needs. HEADBUTT FROM THE OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST, JOE HAS BEEN ROCKED! ANGLE SLAM FROM KURT, THE CROWD IS GOING NUTS! He grabs the foot of Joe, and begins cranking the life out of it, causing him to yell in agony! THE ANGLE LOCK IS LATCHED IN, KURT HAS BECOME THE MOST DANGEROUS THREAT TO JOE'S TITLE, IN ONE FLICK OF THE WRIST! Joe claws at the mat, before frantically rolling out and splitting, grabbing his title and leaving the scene!
Final Battle
Main event time. Kurt enters, hood down, focused on the ring, he walks with purpose. As he enters red, white, and blue streamers hit the ring as he takes in the crowd reception, they are ready for this match. Joe stomps in, RoH World Championship in hand. His booming theme making the arena shake as they anticipate his entrance. The intensity is at an all time high. The referee makes sure everyone is ready... he calls for the bell... it's SHOWTIME FOLKS!

Started last March 2 on a whim and set my goal as 40 days. Fasting, abstinence and nofap. I'm a catholic but I never tried anything special for Lent season before in my life. But after my life spiral out of control and I find myself addicted to porn I stumbled upon this sub and decided to join. Coincidentally, it was the start of Lent so i thought about doing through the whole season.
But I told myself I'll only post after I accomplished my goals. Since the first few days where rather easy. I thought I could make it without having any issue. Yet here I am about to relapse already.
It's 4am where I'm from right now and I still can't sleep. Fuck. I have this deep feeling of unease and desire to release. Maybe because it's too hot.
I just had leg day tonight at the gym around 8pm and I think I over trained a bit and not to mention fasted so I don't have much energy. And yet my dick is up :(
I haven't watched any porn for two weeks but I am quite stimulated now. Aroused. It had been since 10pm. All I did was before that was take a quick cold shower and went to bed face down in nothing but my boxers cause its hot here 31C tonight
Must have been a wrong move though. As I sweat thru my shorts, I started imagining things. Can't get the thoughts out of my head. Keeping me awake all night.
I desperately wanted to touch myself. But I wanted to persevere. I remember the tips here about exercise to prevent relapse, so I rolled down my bed to the floor to do some light stretching. My legs are sore, but I pushed myself to do some push up, then sit up. But for some reason, the more I exercise, the more it raises my heartbeat and temperature. The more I get hard.
I think my hormones got confused? As I feel my sweat trickling down my body, the more thirsty i get, literally and sexually. Its crazy!
I don't know. Probably because I'm gay, and I have a thing for young fit hot guys like myself. And after a sweaty workout, I can't even look at my own abs without fantasizing. I feel like I'm gonna shoot a load without even touching my junk. But I'm trying some jedi mind trick to keep it from exploding.
So now i'm fully awake, soaking wet and throbbing.
So I decided to take another cold shower. Might be able to calm me down. Dragged my feet to the bathroom. Drop my shorts and turn the shower on. But it was luke warm. I guess too much heat where I'm from can cause the water from the water lines to feel like I'm using a heater. As the warm water washes away my sweat, my arosal continues. I started fantasizing doing it in the shower. Fuck.
Ok. Let's try something else. I took some ice cubes from fridge put it in a bucket and fill it with water. Like an ice bucket challenge. I poured it all over me and shivered. I'm shaking all over. The sudden drop in temperature surprised my dick and it soften down. Wew, that settles it.
I lean my shoulder against the wall of the bathroom, a little relieved but mostly tired of all my weird attempts so far. Thinking how stupid it was. I was slipping down slowly as my legs are quivering and can't support me completely, so I grabbed the sink with both hands and pushed myself up.
There I noticed the mirror was foggy. Probably due to the heat or maybe the ice melting, i don't know. Curious, I wiped it with my palm and saw myself. Fuck i look hot. Like those scene where a hot actor wipes a mirror to reveal their friggin hot body.
And there it goes again, fully erect and begging me to release my load. I narcistically got aroused looking at that guy in front of me :(
Ack, my mind started stitching everything I did so far as a pornographic comedy skit. My brain is working against me! I hate this shit.
My instinctively reached down and grabbed it by the shaft. Squeezing it badly. But before I began stroking it, I managed to snap out and use my other hand to pull my seemingly AI-controlled hand away. Bad hand! So I wrap my lower half in towel and left.
I need to do something to distract myself. So I remembered, maybe posting this to reddit would help. I love writing long convulated paragraph with no point at all just to past time. Maybe I could cringe myself enough to lose any interest in fapping.
I guess it works. As I type my last paragraph, my dragon is now asleep. I'm feeling sleepy now too, maybe I should just sleep here on my desktop. Good night reddit...

I really love that animation. I think it was one of the first pieces of Touhou fan-made animations, and ever since I had quite a great time watching the skits available on YouTube. From those I have watched yet, there are some that caught my attention:
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• Flower Beat (Raiko & Yuuka, 11th M-1 Grand Prix) - really appreciated Raiko's attempt at writing an anthem for Gensokyo in order to improve PR, even if things don't really go as planned; also has two of my favorite characters, so it is nice seeing them interact

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• anything involving Binary Drop (Eiki & Komachi, 6th and 11th M-1 Grand Prix) - quite interesting to see Komachi in the "straight man" role; also the whole skit with Eiki wishing to get a tattoo had me laugh all the way through

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• Yakumo Chen (Ran & Chen, both original and reanimated skits) - classic skits; gave us the famous "CHEEEEEEEEEN" (ちぇえええええええん), and I really love the 6th M-1 Grand Prix skit in which Chen is writing the letter in front of the parents and classmates (so much Yukari dissing...)

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• anything regarding Witch Doll (again, both the originals and reanimated) - be it a discussion about how would your wedding look like, or want to buy a house, there will always be something interesting to see in the interactions between Marisa and Alice

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• Spin Kappa (Nitori & Hina, 5th and 6th M-1 Grand Prix) - I like the interactions between Nitori and Hina, and to be honest, I really cannot imagine Nitori with any other voice but the one from the skits

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• Tokamak Club (Utsuho & Rin, 4th and 6th M-1 Grand Prix) - who cannot enjoy a bit of Okuu and Orin? another one of the memorable skits

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• Moriya Kero (Kanako & Suwako, 4th M-1 Grand Prix) - Kanako trying to sing... oh boy, that sure was something. The two of them trying to sing along/learn Kanako the song was quite adorable, even with Kanako revealing "her inner hag" at time (not my words, Suwako's)

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• Purely Hell (Hecatia & Junko, 11th M-1 Grand Prix) - "You are trying to access a restricted page." "Please type the reason you wish to access this page or seek parental advice." Text Field: "Please let me see it" - together with the image of Shinmyoumaru in front of the PC makes for an adorable scene. Conclusion: unexpected T-shirt pulling & abuse/10 (just kidding; I was not expecting that phase though, and it to happen multiple times, even if it was funny to watch - "I'm gonna dunk you in Haiter later! / That's bleach! Don't bully your T-shirt!"). Also: "I'm concerned about Clownpiece. / Ah, I lent her to you. / Right! / The former stripper / (smack with the newspaper) She's a fairy!"

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• YuuTen Paradise (Yuuka & Tenshi, 9th M-1 Grand Prix) - Yuuka struggling to comprehend the concept of Yuri (as in GL, honestly did not know it is also the name of a/the flower in Japanese or something) made for quite an interesting second half of the skit, and for a cute reaction.
  
• Iku and Tenshi's skit from 16th M-1 Grand Prix - probably my favorite skit of the entire 16th edition. Iku's rage moment was both funny, with her getting fed up with Tenshi's BS, but also felt a little threatening. Which I liked a lot.
  

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Anyway, what are some of your favorite skits, and what did you like like most about them?

Happy Carnival! This is one place where the Dionysian prevails, from Wikipedia:
‘Elaborate costumes and masks allow people to set aside their everyday individuality and experience a heightened sense of social unity. Participants often indulge in excessive consumption of alcohol, meat, and other foods that will be forgone during upcoming Lent. Traditionally, butter, milk, and other animal products were not consumed "excessively", rather, their stock was fully consumed as to reduce waste. This festival is known for being a time of great indulgence before Lent (which is a time stressing the opposite), with drinking, overeating, and various other activities of indulgence being performed.’
The name itself may derive from 'Carrus Navalis', a tradition of carrying boats in honor of deities.
‘The festival consisted of a parade of masks following an adorned wooden boat, called in Latin carrus navalis, possibly the source of both the name and the parade floats.’
Dionysus himself was honored in such a fashion. From Sara Kate Istra Winter's Dionysian Festival List:
“Ship-Chariot Festival” – In Smyrna during the spring, there was a Dionysian festival where a holy trireme (an ancient Greco-Roman ship with three banks of oars) was borne around the marketplace in honor of the god. The trireme probably brought from the sea a revivified image of the god for spring, to ensure a good agricultural year. This festival may not originally be a Dionysian festival, considered by some to have evolved from a festival celebrating some ancient naval victory.
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This is an interesting festival for Dionysians - coming in the same four month span of the Haloa, Brumalia, Saturnalia, Lenaia, Anthesteria, Phallephoria, Liberalia, and Dionysia; it’s not exactly that we’re in need of another festival of overindulgence and role reversals - though this is arguably a corruption from some of the aforementioned festivals, and also believed by some scholars to be wholly Christian.
It’s also a clearly timed festival, at least for Christians - it demarks the end of the joyous holiday season, of Christmastide and such, and the beginning of Lent - the next day that follows Fat Tuesday is Ash Wednesday, when they don ash and begin to abstain from meat on Fridays (This is a loosening of the belt from older times, where they abstained from meat throughout all lent and abstained from any food on Fridays).
It would be difficult for a Dionysian to observe an ascetic vigil either before or after this time - before, one might miss the joys of Brumalian feasts and New Year’s craziness, and the wines of Lenaia. After, one might miss the Dionysia and the Liberalia - and in alternate years, either could result in being sober during the Anthesteria - a great loss.
However, this is the most Dionysian festival of the modern era - its colors are purple, green, and gold, its symbols are masks, and it is celebrated with overindulgence, usurpation of social hierarchies, and every manner of mischief and mayhem. One can overdress into the office, and as long as one is carrying King Cake, it’s A-Ok. Celebrating Mardi Gras feels like suddenly everyone is a Dionysian - and it’s not a feeling to be missed.
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Some additional reading:
Sara Kate Istra Winter offers two festivals in her list of Dionysian festivals, one to be celebrate on Shrove Monday and one for Fat Tuesday:

Thriambia – Triumphal ProcessionDate: Cheese Monday / mid-FebruarySynopsis: Celebrates Dionysos’ triumph over Pentheus, Lykourgos, the Indians, etc. As Dionysos was victorious, so too, can we overcome all of our obstacles.Possible features: Retelling of the myths, a triumphant procession (masked revellers), the composition and/or performance of Thriamboi, triumphal poems/songs/stories/jokes/limericks/mimes/skits/whatever of Dionysos Triumphant.Note: The ancient Triumphs are one almost certain source of the Carnival (Mardi Gras) parades, which are celebrated the day after Cheese Monday (thus tying this in with the following festival). Also, in fairly recent times, some rural Greeks celebrated a festival of the Kalogeros on this date, which may have Dionysian roots.
Propompeia – For satyrs, maenads, etc.Date: Mardi Gras Tuesday / mid-FebruarySynopsis: A Festival in honor of the Propompoi, the companions and attendants of Dionysos in His revels – the Maenads, the Satyrs, the Muses, the Nymphs, the Graces, the Kouretes, etc. Everyone’s already honoring Dionysos with drunken carousing, rampant silliness, and great phallic worship on this day – we’ll just rechristen it.

Old, but very interesting, site on Dionysus and Carnival
Mardi Gras History, starting with Dionysian Spring festivals
And Dionysians in Greece celebrate with the Phallephoria!
Thoughts on Joy During Carnival Season and Times of Sorrow
Happy Carnival!

My (25f) mom (45f) has two jobs. Job A makes $37k/yr ,and I don't know how much Job B makes but it's probably around $45k/yr. That's my guess. So doing both jobs, she'll make good money. The problem is she hates the higher pay job (Job B) so much. She's currently looking for something else, but wants to quit Job B and only work Job A while she looks.
Today we were talking about how awful Job B is. She recounted to me how when her manager? asked her how she was feeling about some things and recent events (admittedly her job was not doing right by her), my mom told her manager that what she did was "f*cked up". After my mom confirm that she did actually use the f-word with her manager, I referred her to the Dave Chappelle skit, "When keeping it real goes wrong". I told my mom that was inappropriate of her to do, but my mom insisted that if she can't be honest with someone then she doesn't need to deal with them.
Mom talked about how the point of having Job B was to bring in more money and because she was bored, but she hates it and they are awful. Then my mom asked me if it's worth staying at Job B that stresses her out and gives her headaches. I told her "yes, she should stay." I could tell that my mom was unhappy with my answer and when I asked what's wrong, she says that I sound my like my dad.
I admit I felt offended by that. Mom and Dad are married, but it's very common for her to complain about him. So I asked Mom if she wanted the longer, more honest version. She said yea.
I told her all of the following, which is true:
-She's had shotty, inconsistent work history for the majority of my life. It was a big deal when she made 1 year with Job A.
-She has a car that can't really afford. Premium gas, $600/mnth, got it before Job B when she had a few contract gigs that have now dried up
-She has no retirement savings (that I know of)
-Dad has been the primary breadwinner for most of my life and there have still been financial struggle. At least it was during 2019 when I lent them money to keep their house
​
I told her that she needs to keep Job B until she finds something better and use the money to get ahead of bills and leverage the experience to get a better job. I don't think Job A is enough to keep up with everything. I mentioned to her that I completely understood hating a job. 2020 kicked my ass and I chose to work in a warehouse rather than drain my savings, but I cried nearly everyday at that job until I got my current one.
After I told her all this, she didn't say much except "I don't like you". Playful tone of course (this is something common in our family) but I do think I hurt her feelings. She hasn't blown up at me or anything, but I wonder if I was too harsh and throwing things in her face that I shouldn't have. Maybe I should've just kept it at the short version. AITA?

After two long years of hiatus, I am so pleased to announce to everyone that the rumors are true and CubeCon 2022 will in fact be taking place this year!
The WCA has been hard at work to make this year's CubeCon a memorable experience, and you won't want to miss it!
I would like to share some details about this year's CubeCon, and address some common questions.
Who will be attending CubeCon '22?
Attendance us open to anyone who has been officially rated by the WCA.
A lot of veteran cubers will be attending CubeCon '22, so it will be a good place to meet some of the old pros. Randy, ShellySparkle95, Hortice, and even Zeke P. will be there and so much more!
Where is CubeCon '22?
Nevada again this year. We will be meeting for brunch at Peggy Sue's. Those looking to attend will need to know the following information; For twelve hours leading up to CubeCon, you will be able to look for a brunette waitress wearing the WCA patch on her blouse. Get her attention and give her the WCA motto. She'll take you into the back with the other attendees until departure time.
CC '22 will be hosted at Big Levi's Ranchfront Property. We will be travelling there straight from Peggy Sue's. We would like to just give the address directly to attendees for their leisure, but this was a necessary measure because of increased Coyote activity this year around.
WHEN is CubeCon '22?
We will be leaving Peggy Sue's at 5:00 PM PST on Thursday, November 24. It will take place over the next week. Shelter is provided.
Do I need to bring my own tools?
Lent Tools will be provided at the premises, courtesy of Big Levi. You are allowed to bring your own, but if you don't have your own tools, don't worry.
Do I need to bring my own cake?
Cake will be provided on the premises, and will also be gathered on a speciality cake run activity during CubeCon '22. Because of increased Coyote activity, please do not bring your own cake.
What activities are on the agenda?
There's a lot to look forward to at CubeCon 2022!
To name a few of the great activities:
Meet and greet. Exciting Workshops ran by veteran professional cubers; you'll learn so much and you won't want to miss it. This will feature cubing lessons for beginners.
Amazing Barbecues every night. Come sit around the fire and grill some quality AA meats with your buddies. Featuring Babe's Famous Sigmoid Roast. First night will be excellent homemade Thanksgiving dinner by Big Levi with high quality Thanksgiving Pine Pork.
Tool Swap. For those who brought your own tools, you'll have the opportunity to swap tools with other attendees, or just check out what they're packing. We will also be swapping and sharing cubing tips and techniques.
Skit performances and plays at the amphitheater every night after dinner.
Cake Run: the last day of CubeCon will host an all day group Cake Run around the surrounding city. This will be the crowning event.
Plenty of time to hang out and catch up with friends, and meet new faces.
And of course, what you're here for: Plenty of cubing fun and activities. All week on-premise cubing.
And so much more: this is going to be the best CubeCon you've ever attended! You won't regret it. After CubeCon 22, we'll be visiting the local parks and malls to unwind after a great week.
Schedules will be provided to all attendees. All events and activities are optional.
If anyone has any further questions regarding CubeCon 2022 and this year's arrangements, please feel free to DM me and I will be happy to do my best to be of help.

David Warner is 80 now. I’m glad that he seems to be in good health and has appeared in so many different roles for Big Finish. However, he’s now been playing the Doctor regularly for about as long as TV Doctors typically last. I think the character is a marvel and I want to see it run as long as the mainline Doctor - and that means regeneration.
I don’t really pay enough attention to Big Finish cast lists to know who might be a realistic replacement. I’m also not sure the BBC would allow it. But some thoughts:

• Nicola Walker - big name actor who loves working with Big Finish. Probably not going to be playing Liv Chenka much longer, but is maybe too closely associated with that role.
  
• Samuel Barnett - another big name who loves working with Big Finish. I think he’d make a marvellous Doctor, and just as Warner provides something of a reinterpretation of Pertwee, Barnett could channel some Tom Baker energy. However… I love Norton Folgate, and Barnett is very busy. I would rather his limited “Big Finish time” was put towards Norton.
  
• Wayne Forester - not as big a name, but someone who has played all sorts of roles for Big Finish, most notably Captain Scarlet, and has also lent his voice to video games like The Witcher and Xenoblade Chronicles. Realistic, but perhaps not prestigious enough?
  
• Dawn French - if we’re looking for someone with big Tom Baker energy then French is an obvious candidate to my mind, but she’d also bring a tender side to balance the comedy. Most Doctors have tenderness in them somewhere, but I think French is exceptionally good at it - playing Reverend Geraldine Granger showed her ability to go from exasperated to apologetic very quickly and then defuse things with a joke. However, she’s never worked for Big Finish, although she did write a Silurian skit once.
  

Who are your suggestions for actors who could take over from David Warner? Realistic or wild, let them all out. Or should the character be retired forever when Warner can’t play him any more?

-- Edit: To prevent confusion, this is about the Basilisk V2
​
If I could describe the Basilisk in one word, it would be "Disappointing". The Basilisk had the potential to be my favorite mouse, and it would have been if not for its cheap manufacturing and buggy software.
I've had the Basilisk for a couple months, and I enjoyed using it on the whole. But the shoddy workmanship and poor software has become more and more prevalent over time.
I've had several issues, all related to either faulty hardware or software.
Left click, M4, and the Sensitivity Clutch all seem to not work consistently, unless pressed unreasonably hard, most likely to degradation as these are the buttons I use the most. Sometimes it just doesn't register any click, no matter how hard it is pushed. Another issue that did not come up until recently was the scroll wheel's secondary and tertiary buttons activating when I attempted to press the scroll wheel button solely.
Buttons are not the only thing that has been quickly deteriorating. The thumbrest quickly lost its texture around the area where the thumb rests, and it's "thumbskirt" has started ripping at the edges as well. Any mouse is expected to deteriorate over some amount of time, thats expected. But as I have only been using this mouse for a little under 6 months, I think this points toward cheap manufacturing. TLDR, The Lifespan of this mouse is remarkably small.
I've also been plagued by consistent Synapse Crashes, and failures to start that can only be resolved by starting Synapse with another mouse, with the Basilisk unplugged from the PC, then plugging it back in. It also doesn't play well with chroma for some reason. I own several other Razer Mice, and this is the only one that I've had any sort of trouble with. I've gone through all the trouble shooting steps, doing a fresh install of synapse, and the problems persisted. The problems proved to transcend computers, as I lent it out to a friend who reported his issues.
---
This mouse is so frustrating. Its brilliant ergonomic design is held back by its crude implementation.
I Really, REALLY wanted to like this mouse. I still do. The way it feels in my hand is superb, and the tactility of the mouse, buttons and clutch were/are great. I love the feel of the clutch and skit. The placement of buttons is perfect. The way you can customize the mouse wheel's resistance/ "spin-e-ness" is genius.
But frankly, the Quality is poor and Synapse is a mess.
If it doesn't work, or only works sometimes, even MOST of the time, it's a bad mouse. Period.

I got access to GPT-3 playground and have so far been very impressed with what their davinci model can come up with.
As far as I understand, ElutherAI is also working on a ~175 billion parameter model called GPT-NeoX https://github.com/EleutherAI/gpt-neox but also I know that GPT-3 davinci requires a small supercomputer(with a dozen top of the line tesla cards) to run.
I'm curious as to whether GPT-NeoX will have similar requirements?
Also to share, here are the first two prompts I gave GPT-3 to see what its capable of (with my prompt in bold and the generated in regular):
a nature scene

A soothing wind caresses tiny flowers on the forest floor. The air is humid and warm, you can hear the soft chirping of birds in the distance and the subtle waves of an idyllic lake nearby. The water in the lake is crystal clear and shimmering with promise of a welcoming bath. The lake is surrounded by tall trees, as tall as the eye can see. Their calm shuffling of leaves is like music to your ears. The trees create a canopy, absorbing the blazing sun and protecting the forest floor from harm. The sound of twigs snapping under your feet as you make your way through the forest is like music to your ears. You can feel the dew of the morning dew on the grass beneath your feet, the soft blades of grass tickle your ankles as you walk through them. The trees here are thick and tall, their branches and roots reach out in every direction.
You take a deep breath and the air fills your lungs, it's so fresh and pure, you almost feel like you could drink it. This place is like a dream come true, and you can't help but to smile and laugh at how beautiful it is. You decide to take a moment to enjoy the scenery before continuing on your journey, and you sit down on a grassy knoll that's covered in flowers. The flowers are bright and cheerful, and they look like they're smiling at you. Suddenly, you feel a sharp prick on your arm. You look down and notice a tiny flower has sprouted from the ground and is poking you with its thorn. You grab the flower and pull it out of the ground, much to its frustration. You place it back on the ground and watch as several more flowers begin to grow from the earth, except this time they're red instead of blue. Their thorns also look sharper.
You stand up and pull your arm away from the flowers, but just as you do, a red flower shoots its thorn into your hand. The thorn digs deep into your skin, and it feels like it's going to pierce the bone. Suddenly, the flowers all turn blue again, and their thorns disappear. You reach down to pull the thorns from your skin, but find that they have vanished without a trace.
You decide to continue onward, but you're a little more cautious about where you step. You decide to follow a path that leads between a few trees. As you walk along the path, you realize that there are several flowers growing along the sides of it. The flowers are blue, red, and yellow, and they all have sharp thorns. You decide to ignore the flowers and continue walking. As you do though, you notice that some of the other people in the forest who are walking other paths are getting pricked by the flowers. They don't seem to mind though. In fact, they seem happy to get pricked by them.
The path begins to widen out, and it becomes clear that you're approaching a clearing in the forest. The path continues forward, but several other paths branch off to the right and left. As you walk through the clearing, you notice that there are several other people there too. Everyone is chatting with each other happily about how beautiful this place is. As you're walking through the clearing though, you suddenly feel pain in your arm again. You look down, and see that the same red flower that pricked you earlier is sticking its thorn into your arm again. You pull it out of your

a comedy skit

George Bush is in love with Harry Potter but Harry cannot return his love, for Harry is concerned with George's foreign policy and the bombing of the middle east. Iron Man once gave harry some good advice - "Use your wand!" he said, before flying off to face Thanos.
Tonight, Harry is going on a date with George Bush but things get awkward when Donald Trump shows up. Donald is shuffling his fingers nervously and pretending that he can't speak. Harry wants to give him a hug but he doesn't know if it's appropriate. George Bush wants to say something to make the situation less awkward but he is afraid it will make things more awkward, and he doesn't want to be President anymore.
Harry and George sit across from each other and talk about politics and how they both really wish Voldemort was gone. Harry wants to tell George that Voldemort is not as bad as everyone says, but Harry knows that if he says that, people will think he is a bad person and no one wants to be friends with a bad person. Harry's eyes begin to tear up as he realizes that his life is now over because no one will ever want to be friends with him. He will have to go to the Dursley's and live in the cupboard and no one will ever love him and he will have to watch as Ron and Hermione get married and have babies and Harry will never have a family of his own and he will never have a reason to live.
"I'm sorry" Harry says, his eyes looking down at the ground. "I'm really sorry" he says, as he tries to hold back his tears. "I'm sorry I've been such a disappointment" he says, as his tears start flowing down his face.
George Bush begins to cry as well, both men out of fear for what the future holds. George Bush takes a long puff from a cigarette before saying anything else.
"You've been a great disappointment" says George Bush, "but I love you anyway. And I'm going to make everything better."
"I love you too" says Harry, as he wipes his tears away with a handkerchief that was lent to him by Tony Stark.

Great visual detail in the first and I found the second one hilarious.

https://youtu.be/z0NgUhEs1R4
So, I have been toying with this idea in fantasy for a while, but the post below about domestic violence in fantasy prompted me to bring it to the table for discussion. I linked the SNL skit above because it gets at part of what the central issues of what I am saying is.
We talk about how Sauron style supervillains are boring. They have no motivation but power and therefore very little character. This is typically said as an offhand manner of dismissing the villainy of Classic High Fantasy. MCU movies get this dismissal too (not to mention their overuse of skybeams). Instead, the push in writing seems to be the "everyone is a hero of their own story" adage. Villains should look like good guys when we get in their head, per se. Jaime Lannister is probably the character that most brought this idea to fantasy, though Tad Williams' Norns did a lot to provide legitimate motivation to the actions of the 'evil' race. Currently, I think a lot of fantasy Grimdark has taken this to new morally grey territory, particularly Joe Abercrombie and Mark Lawrence. Now, I am not dismissing these authors' books. I enjoy them immensely, and think the issue lies more with how villainy in them is read than how it is presented.
The other push has been to 'make the villain interesting'. Your villain needs to have personality and flavor and not just be mustache twirling or horned helmet bad guy. All of this is interesting and I think has lent us a crop of recent villains who are interesting and fun to read while embodying morally grey motivations behind typically good motivations (The characters in Kuang's PoppyWars Saga seem to fit here. As do, again, many of Abercrombie's villains.)
Now, I think these new trends tell us much about the morally complicated and grey nature of warfare and particularly historical geopolitical disputes, a topic which typically gives us fantasy's major setpieces. That being said, what does it tell us about evil and villainy? How well does it hold up a mirror to humanity and to our world? Because I look from literary sympathetic, complicated villains to our world and it is here that I see cookie cutter villainy.
Domestic abuse and spousal sexual assaults have increased in the United States in the last decade, as has the rate that those events end in homicide. I see almost nothing morally grey here.
Domestic white supremacist groups are on the rise and present, according to the FBI, a greater terror threat than foreign terrorism.
No matter what side of the political aisle you are on, in the US or abroad, I am sure you will agree that many politicians lie and fearmonger and push harmful policies to further their own political interests.
The very very rich continually throughout history corrupt political systems and turn, when able, economic systems towards greater and greater inequality.
I in no way want a political debate and if you disagree with one of my examples, please disregard my example in light of the larger point. The desire for power, wealth, influence, and control seems to me to be at the root of the evil we actually deal with in our world. So why do we find it derivative and unrealistic in our fantasy? To me, even those who are personally sympathetic (the father of three working man who lost his job at the plant) either succumb to or come to prefer empowering ideologies of rage that salve their insecurities and, to me, lose their sympathies (when that father turns his unemployment into drink and then to jealousy and eventual battery of his wife) or lose their moral ambiguity (when he becomes radicalized by online hate groups and eventually engages in hate crimes against minorities).
There are ideologies and actions that stem from those ideologies that are reasonably unambiguous once the facts are laid out. What becomes complicated is worldview and what people believe. In other words, if we want sympathetic villains, they are ones who are literally wrong because they fall victim to the lies and propaganda of the powerful, not just on the other side of a conflict. I feel like I do not see this issue explored enough in fantasy. But I also feel like primarily unsympathetic villains are okay too. Again, men who routinely engage in the terrorizing and assaults of their domestic partners, once you lay out their behaviors and roots, are often bad cliches whose quest for control has eaten through most other parts of their personality. Dictators fit similar paths to power and actions once empowered. Political opportunists do as well.
In other words, I was hoping to discuss this on here.
I guess, first, whether or not anyone agrees with me or feels a need to infuse new kinds of villainy into fantasy.
Do you think there is an issue with how we read villainy and evil in epic fantasy?
Would more authentic kinds of evil in fantasy lead to more complicated narratives and enrich the genre?
Thank you all very much for your time. This subreddit feels like coming home to me and I love the discussion and the passion for fantasy here. It seriously means a lot to me.

I vividly remember seeing a Vine skit, and I remember all the dialogue. The only problem is, I can't actually seem to find the original video. Here's how it went:
Person A: [Labored breathing, red-faced]
Person B: Woah, looks like lent's going rough for you, buddy.
Person A: Mhm
Person B: I gave up chocolate, what did you give up?
Person A: Pooping
It's a little juvenile, but I thought it was hilarious when I saw it (obviously it works better in a Vine format). If you remember the guy who made it, or have a link to a place where it's posted, please drop a comment if you can. Thanks in advance!

My old man has officially endorsed it and most of the crew has said they’d happily be in it. I want to make a comedy about people who work in a fabrication shop like ours.
It’d be a Super Troopers thing, although I haven’t actually watched Super Troopers. But just like Burning Flag, I’m confident I can make this work. And unlike Burning Flag, I have everything I need. I’ve got costumes, I have location permission, and I’ve got locals that either a) have performing experience or b) have work experience. So we’ve got our talent and extras. As for crew, I’d like to hire on some of the same gents who worked on Spearphishing. Get a few new people too because why not, and then some people that are friendly enough to teach those newcomers a thing or two.
It seems my writing hasn’t changed much: I’m good at scenes, but very iffy on transitions. Burning Flag is reminiscent of a videogame in its “map screen” transitions, but those do serve a purpose. Doesn’t change the fact that they’re lazy. This one gives me a few ideas. I’ve got plenty of people ready to act, but few that I currently believe can do it well enough to really carry the show. I’m thinking it’ll essentially be a bunch of skits intertwined together to accomplish some goal.
And what goal? Well my idea is that some executives either from our head office or some potential clients are going to be taking a tour of the facilities and if they don’t like it, bad shit will happen. Of course, our shop would be in disarray for whatever reason, so our labour workers have to figure some way to fix that while the manager has to stall for time.
I know. The base concept has been done before, but I have quite a few methods of making it work. Plus, everyone in the shop is happy to pitch in ideas. Just gotta credit the ones I use, if any. Hell, even the old man had a skit that was absolutely hilarious.
Our target audience? The “common man”. Ugh, that sounds way more condescending than I meant it to. People who just need something simple to watch and relax after a long day’s work. I just want to have something that promotes something I care about: people. Because at the end of the day, you treat your workers right if you want them to do the same to you.
The stories of why our guys are so loyal to the old man are movies of their own. Good people have bad times or make bad mistakes, and someone has to recognize that they’re still good. Simple as it gets. A rig welder lost his license and he has no way to work? Okay, we’re parking his truck by the shop and he can be a shop welder for us until he can drive again. Another one of our districts is treating an operator badly but they live nearby? Guess who just got transferred over here. A guy’s got issues at home and he can’t think straight? All it takes is one chat and he’s set up with councillors and a schedule adjusted to accommodate the visits. All three of those guys have been with us for years and they’re among countless others that the old man has lent a hand to.
It shouldn’t be something to brag about. It should be commonplace. But it’s not. Not in this industry at least. And while I might not be able to fix that, I might just be able to weaken that barrier ever so slightly. That’s what matters.
And it’d be cheap to make so yeah let’s do it like surgery on a grape!

Okay, so my grandchildren are helping me with this so I might make a few mistakes. I'm not used to Reddit. A lot of people seem to think I'm a total asshole but I want to ask you all.
I (74M) have been married for the last several years to a lovely woman "Jamie" (70F). Jamie and I live in Los Angeles and because of my successful business investments are retired, enjoying our golden years. We like to spoil our grandchildren and frequently travel cross country because for some reason, we can afford 3,000-mile trips at the drop of a hat.
Jamie is my second wife. We met a long time, over 40 years ago. Her former husband, Jess, and I were best friends and co-workers. We first met when I lent him a suit to woo Jamie's rich parents. Jess was amazing. He did grand gestures and could sell stolen goods to a snake-oil salesman. After Jess died, I stuck around, helping Jamie and the kids. Part of it was also keeping part of Jess with me. I didn't get to say goodbye to Jess and people seem to forget that. I moved to Texas and lost touch with the family. When Jamie made a Facebook account, I reconnected with her. We married some time later.
Look, I'm not an idiot. I know our relationship isn't the one she had with Jess and I'd be a fool to say it would be. Jamie and I make each other happy and I think that's what's important. I get to go through my senior years with my best friend.
Unfortunately, I don't have a great relationship with Jamie's three kids. Robert, Michelle, and Manny have never really treated me well. I won't go so far as to say they hate me but it can be pretty tense. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around them. They all have a slightly unhealthy worship of Jess, and none of them have taken the steps necessary to move on from his passing. It took me years to convince Manny to let me wear this cardboard Pilgrim hat to play a little Thanksgiving skit. They call themselves The Big Three.
Sometimes, I go out with Michelle's husband, Percy, and Robert's wife, Amphictyonis, and we talk about how we feel less important to the family because we aren't The Big Three. Everything seems to revolve around The Big Three. Michelle throws herself pity parties whenever it's cloudy out, Manny quite possibly has never turned down sex in his life, and Robert is Kanye West levels full of himself. They're good people, don't get me wrong. But they have issues.
I'm not very close to my biological children who have never forgiven me for re-marrying even though I was divorced from their mother for years before I got together with Jamie.
I love Jamie and I love her kids. I sit through World of Dance for her. I try to be a good grandfather for Robert's daughters and for Michelle's son. Is that not enough?
So, AITA for marrying a woman even if she used to be my dead best friend's wife?

Cover Art
Teaser: As Frances and her friends discover the trap, they must force their way through the fortress to save the rest of their classmates.
Story Summary: After years of beatings and neglect from her parents, 13-year old Frances was summoned with her entire class to the fantastical world of Durannon to fight the monsters invading the human kingdoms and defeat the "Demon King." If she succeeds, she might have the home she never had. But if she can't overcome the trauma and self-loathing inflicted on her by her abusive parents, Frances will die, and be summoned back to the home she escaped, on the day that she left.
[The Beginning] [<=Chapter 56] [Chapter Index and Blurb] [Chapter 58=>]
[Map of Durannon]
This chapter was pre-read by u/totallyundescript.
Birds-eye view of Freeburg Fortress.
Want to hang? Join the Discord Community!
Pr-chapter note: Sorry, update had to be early because I need to run errands.
How had everything gone so wrong, Frances had no idea. She wanted to break down crying, and curse Amura and Rathon that everything had gone to shit.
But something thudded in her heart. Knowledge. The knowledge that Igraine and her rangers were going to die if they didn’t do something pounded in her very being. Despite her hands shivering, her eyes wild, Frances moved.
“Someone give me a boost to the wall.” Frances stammered. The teenagers stared at her uncomprehendingly, until she took a deep breath and bellowed. “Jim, levitate me to the walltop! Hurry! Nicole, get Elizabeth! Martin, after they finish, start coordinating the rest of our mages!”
The pair acted, casting levitation spells. Frances soared into the sky, as if on a cushion. She landed and immediately took cover behind the wall’s parapet, glancing over her shoulder to try to get a glimpse of what was happening.
The second courtyard was empty, but beyond, at the third and fourth, past the narrow stone bridge that spanned the abyss, she could see climbing lines draped down against the cliffside. Nobody was on them, but she could hear the main forces’ panicked cries
She could also see what was blocking the gate to the second courtyard, a mammoth pile of dirt that even magicians would need a day to shift.
Elizabeth pressed herself beside the parapet beside her friend. “They want to destroy the main force. They waited and lured us down here, delaying us with traps and blocking the gallery and the wall gate.”
“But we can still cross the bridge!” Frances exclaimed, turning to Elizabeth.
“No, we can’t. They’ll have booby-trapped the bridge. That must be where all the gunpowder went to.” Elizabeth grimaced. “That and the Great Tower. I’m pretty sure the trap there is rigged to explode.”
Frances’s fist tightened and she bit back the temptation to swear. “Let’s get everybody up here first.” She turned, ready to shout instructions, but found that all their mages were already on the walls, levitating the rest of their fighters. Martin slid down beside her and lifted his visor.
“We’re nearly done. What’s the plan?”
“No idea.” But they had to do something. Frances broke from her cover and began to run to the northern wall of the second courtyard. “Follow me!”
She ran the way there, eyes scanning ahead of her, but there were no triplines or anything that looked like a trap.
However, when Frances slid behind the battlements and looked over the edge, she frowned.
The bridge didn’t look booby trapped. It was a wooden bridge, with sturdy triangle-shaped frames holding up a wooden walkway wide enough to let a cart cross. It stretched across a hundred-meter long abyss, connecting two small landings. Frances expected to see wires or some trigger mechanisms. At the minimum she expected to see a barrel of gunpowder somewhere on the bridge, but there were none.
“Elizabeth, that doesn’t look booby-trapped.”
Her friend narrowed her eyes at the structure. “Well, they’re going to use the gunpowder as we cross the bridge. It’s the only thing that makes sense if they’re saving it.”
“Perhaps they hid it? Maybe with magic?” Martin inquired.
“That’s a possibility, wait—” Frances remembered something from the initial assessment she’d done on her classmates and turned around, looking for a hispanic boy with a bit of a moustache. “Warren! We need your magesight on the bridge, quickly!”
The hispanic boy looked over the merlon and whispered a few words of power, his brown eyes glowing gold as he examined the bridge. “Yeah I see the barrels and tripwires. They’re rigged to blow the second we step on the thing.”
“Damnit.” Frances closed her eyes. She needed to think up a solution. Everybody was depending on her—Hold on. It wasn’t just her. Frances quickly found her fellow classmates. “If anybody has any suggestions I’m all ears. We need to get across, quickly.”
The boys and girls started to mutter amongst themselves.
“Teleport over?”
“Run across anyway?”
“Can we levitate across?”
“Does anybody have any rope?”
“A zipline maybe?”
“Can’t we just throw someone across?”
“But there’s nobody to catch them, if we had someone on the other side then that’ll be possible.”
“That’s it!” Frances turned to George, who had voiced the throwing idea. “I know how to teleport. I’ll teleport across. Our mages can throw others to me and I can catch them. Martin, I’ll leave the organisation to you.”
“Wait Frances you’ll be alone—”
“There’s no time! Nobody else knows how to teleport!” Frances focused her eyes on a point just to the side of the gate, where nobody should be able to see her and began to break into a song. She shut out Martin’s hurriedly yelled out orders, focused everything on visualizing herself across the abyss, standing by the gate.
She’d done it a few times, but nowhere near this far. Her song nearing a feverish pitch, she cast the spell.
It was an instantaneous occurrence. No squeezing of her body, no zap, she just appeared across the chasm, an empty, hungry feeling in her stomach at the strain on her magic. Gasping, Frances managed to steady herself against the wall and raise her wand, ready to catch her classmates.
Nicole was the second one across. She was tossed by George, Jim and some other mages. Frances caught her with her magic and set her down gently. She took place beside Frances, and the pair caught another two mages. The shouts and screams of the fighting lent speed to their actions and soon, there were ten mages and five fighters, including Elizabeth, Nicole and Jim on the other side.
The first sign that the orcs had finally noticed was a gruff shout that all of the heroes and heroines understood.
“What in Galena’s high heavens—they’re crossing the abyss!”
“We need cover.” Frances spun around, trying to find cover on the landing, but there was none to be found.
Elizabeth pointed up at the battlements. “No, we need to get up there, stop them from shooting down on us! Frances, hurry!”
“Nicole! Get everybody over here and send them up!” Frances turned and pointed to Elizabeth, Jim, and two other fighters. “You with me! Let’s go!” She raised Ivy’s Sting, sang, and the five rose.
The orcs were just pointing muskets over the walls when they cleared the battlements. With her estoc still in her scabbard, Frances could only scream a note from her lips and slam the orc in front of her against the parapet on the other side. Elizabeth, her hammer bloody from the orc she’d brained when she’d landed, leapt over to the stunned orc and smashed him in the chest. He died with a gurgle, clutching his torso.
Biting back the temptation to retch, Frances threw herself behind the parapet, grabbing Elizabeth beside her, taking in the situation. Beside her were her four other companions. They had two mages, three fighters, all who had taken cover.
The southern wall of Freeburg’s Third Courtyard was thankfully not packed full of orcs. There were however, five orcs, the remainder of what had to be a patrol squad, charging at them. More concerning to Frances was how the northern wall of the courtyard was filled with orcs, all of whom were firing down or the humans who were trapped in the Fourth Courtyard.
She could also see the flash of magic firing into the courtyard, a definitive proof the orcs had a number of shamans.
But first, the orcs on the southern wall. Frances was about to fire a spell, but Elizabeth and the fighters raced past her.
Orcs, both male and female, were huge, muscular, and could easily overwhelm normal humans with sheer brute force.
Against Otherworlders? They were too slow. They swung at the Otherworlder heroes, but thanks to them dodging at superhuman speeds, the blows didn’t come close. They were all slain before Frances and Jim could fire off their spells.
But the orcs on the opposing wall had caught on. Bellowed orders led to many spinning around, bringing musket barrels pointing at Frances and her comrades. For a moment, Frances froze, unsure what to do but to leap for cover.
At this very moment, Jim managed to snap off a fireball. It was small, but his spellcasting was extraordinarily quick and he’d aimed at the orc officer, marked by the bird-skull ornament on her head. She was blasted off the wall, leading to cries of alarm and a momentary pause by the confused orc musketeers.
Frances didn’t know what spell she was thinking of doing. She was reacting by instinct, in communion with her wand, and by the first notes she could cry out that seemed to fit. The image of lightning fixed in her mind, a sharp plunging scale of notes escaping her lips were followed by a scything slash of her arm.
Lightning sparked across the parapet, springing from Ivy’s Sting and moving rapidly among the orcs. It jumped from one to another, dancing across flesh and musket barrels, hitting helmets and spearheads. The orcs crumpled to the ground, writhing, most not dead, but completely out of action.
Before Frances could shout a command, Elizabeth screamed, “Take the tower!” and pointed at the tower connecting the Third Courtyard’s west wall, with the southern wall of the Second Courtyard. It was one of the linchpins holding the fortress and if they were to save their friends, they had to seize it.
“Jim! Open the gate! Elizabeth, go!”
Her friend was already kicking open the door and charging in. Frances followed, and found the room thankfully empty.
“Frances, you should head up and get a vantage point,” Elizabeth said.
“Alright, but what about you?” Frances asked, glancing between the three fighters.
“We’ll clear the south wall. Don’t worry. Just send us some reinforcements.”
“Alright.” Frances raced up the stairs, wand ready as she cleared the top hatch. There was nobody on the tower, but Frances stayed behind the parapet, and took a brief look.
Frances’s first thought was that Freeburg’s Fourth Courtyard looked similar to the black and white photos of the Western Front in the First World War. Backed against the cliffs, were Igraine’s Rangers and the rest of their classmates, huddled behind magic-erected earth shelters. Most of these walls were pockmarked or had edges blasted off.
The musketeers atop of a courtyard’s walls, and the brick-tile building on the western side of the courtyard were the source of most of these pockmarks. They fired in regular volleys, but Frances could also see some sniping from positions behind merlons.
Dressed in distinctive cloaks of fur, the shamans, escorted by groups of shield-carrying orcs, were even better protected. Frances watched as one threw a fireball at a human shelter, blasting it apart.
The two rangers and three Otherworlders huddling behind scattered. However, bullets found their mark into one of the ranger’s arms. The screaming woman was magically dragged into cover, making Frances wince.
Rushing over to the other side of the tower, Frances looked down to find Elizabeth and her two fellows fighting the recovered musketeers on the south wall. Although they were sluggish, some still sprawled on the ground, there were too many of them, and so Frances raised her wand and began to sing a familiar song.
She didn’t know it, but Elizabeth was already grinning, recognizing her friend’s spell from the many times she had practiced it.
Lightning spat out from the top of the tower, hitting the orcs on the walls, blasting them back. Unable to spare a second glance, Frances rushed back to the south of the tower and yelled at the Otherworlders who had just entered the Third Courtyard, led by George and Nicole.
“Nicole! Take Jim, some fighters and some mages and clear the western building and wall! George, take five fighters and reinforce Elizabeth, then go west too!”
“Roger! We have more coming!” Nicole yelled back. Barking out orders, the tomboyish mage rushed into the tower.
Frances was already returning to her original spot to survey the battlefield and immediately ducked. A bolt of magic shot over her head. Standing back up, Frances fired a fireball in the general direction, singing a note, before rolling away from the parapet.
It was a good thing she did. The stone merlons exploded as the section of the wall she’d just been hiding behind disappeared. Screaming as stone shards plinked off of her helmet, Frances dived for the hatch.
She tumbled down the stairs and smashed her head straight onto the floor. If she didn’t have her helmet, she’d been quite badly hurt.
As it was, Frances had enough time to sit upright, just as the door to the Fourth Courtyard’s building opened and orcs poured into the room.
Frances screamed a note and just willed the orcs to stay back. She was too dazed for anything else. The orcs flew back into the walls, sliding down them, stunned. Before Frances could summon up the strength to kill them, Nicole and her group came up the stairs and charged the distracted enemy.
By the time Martin pulled Frances up, all the orcs were dead.
“Need a moment?” Martin asked. Frances shook her head and tried to take a step, but the knight pressed a hand to her shoulder. “That’s a yes.”
“We need to clear the building on the west side of the Fourth Courtyard—”
“We got that, take a moment, Frances,” Nicole snapped. She turned to her group. “Come on! Let’s go!”
“You don’t have to do everything by yourself, remember?” Martin quipped, shooting Frances a meaningful smile.
Frances still wanted to go, but her friend’s words elicited a deep sigh, and she nodded. Though she didn’t completely relax, Frances grabbed her flask filled with honey sweetened water and herbs and took a deep draw. She flinched as Nicole and the other heroes charged through the door, but Martin was right. Her throat felt like sandpaper and her hands were trembling from the magic she’d expended. After a moment’s thought, Frances grabbed a lemon candy from her belt pouch. She needed the sugar.
The door to the southern wall opened and Elizabeth, along with the other two fighters that had accompanied her ran in. They were panting from exertion, but otherwise unharmed. They sat down, exhausted, as more Otherworlders entered the tower from the stairs. Martin directed them to follow Nicole.
A minute later, when the world had stopped feeling like it was tilting, Frances took a deep breath and nodded.
“I’m good. Elizabeth?”
“I’m good too,” Elizabeth said, hefting her shield and hammer. Martin raised his sword, and the group ran out of the tower door and back into the war.
Author's Note: This chapter I'm afraid, is going to be a little confusing because of the complicated layout of Freeburg with so many courtyards. I mean you can see why, it really makes the fortress quite annoying to attack. But it also meant writing it was a bit of a bastard.
For the question of the update... and boy it's getting harder to think up of ones. Favorite dessert?
Frances: My favorite dessert is Hearthsange cake.
Elizabeth: Hearthsange can be made into a cake?
Frances: Yes. It's really good. I'll make some later.
Martin: That sounds delicious. I love cakes, though, chocolate would be my favorite.
Elizabeth: I love bungeoppang, uh, that is, fish-shaped bread with red bean paste inside.
Edana: Sounds delicious. I enjoy cookies. Also, this ice cream you have in this other world sounds fascinating.
Frances: I'll see if I can use magic to replicate it, Master.
Hope you enjoyed that little skit :) Oh and my favorite dessert is probably a rich chocolate cake. Or most things with chocolate in them.