Easy crochet cowl

Am I missing something here? I got a lot of basics down and I’ve been doing pretty well, I’d say almost advanced beginner. But I have one problem with crocheting. The chain stitch. Anytime I try to insert the hook into the third stitch to connect with a slip stitch, I can’t confidently find it. I see videos on YouTube where they are easy to see V shaped stitches in their turning chain, but mine just sometimes looks like a jumbled and loose mess. I’ll have nice pretty stitches in my rounds and then a weird shape/gap where I try to connect with the turning chain. I do mark the stitch with a stitch marker, and I always count my stitches. Any tricks? I’m starting to question if I’m somehow chaining incorrectly or something lol. I feel like if I could get this part down I can advance so much more.

Mastering Flower Crochet: Easy Tutorial for Beginners Step-by-Step Crocheting Guide. https://youtu.be/un-7-qjvkNE?si=SE59-ne2vP7px5kU *

Mastering Flower Crochet: Easy Tutorial for Beginners Step-by-Step Crocheting Guide. https://youtu.be/un-7-qjvkNE?si=SE59-ne2vP7px5kU *

Mastering Flower Crochet: Easy Tutorial for Beginners Step-by-Step Crocheting Guide. https://youtu.be/un-7-qjvkNE?si=SE59-ne2vP7px5kU *

Mastering Flower Crochet: Easy Tutorial for Beginners Step-by-Step Crocheting Guide. https://youtu.be/un-7-qjvkNE?si=SE59-ne2vP7px5kU *

Mastering Flower Crochet: Easy Tutorial for Beginners Step-by-Step Crocheting Guide. https://youtu.be/un-7-qjvkNE?si=SE59-ne2vP7px5kU *

Super easy and very satisfying 🥰
https://www.repeatcrafterme.com/2024/03/wide-mouth-martian-crochet-sacks-aka-yip-yips.html

The Undraftables: Week 6 Update (Going into/during Week 7)
This challenge was initially undertook with the NBA and it was fun, so decided to extend it to MLB as well. The rules are simple: Cannot select any player who has an Average Draft Position (ADP), regardless of how high or low it may be. Even if a player's ADP is 250+, they are off-limits if they have any average draft position. The draft took place on Sunday, April 7th. Admittedly, this was after the start of the season, but my focus had been primarily on the NBA season, leaving me with limited time to prepare for baseball. Nevertheless, managed to squeeze in most of my MLB prep work within a few days/week. This is a standard 12 team head to head category league on yahoo with 6 adds per week. The buy-in was lower than my usual, but not free (inactivity and too easy).
Here was the draft results:

1. (6) Lance McCullers Jr. (HOU - SP)
2. (19) Drew Rasmussen (TB - SP)
3. (30) Dustin May (LAD - SP)
4. (43) Ronel Blanco (HOU - SP,RP)
5. (54) Brady Singer (KC - SP)
6. (67) Paul Blackburn (OAK - SP)
7. (78) Cody Bradford (TEX - SP,RP)
8. (91) Chad Green (TOR - RP)
9. (102) Steven Matz (STL - SP,RP)
10. (115) Tanner Houck (BOS - SP)
11. (126) Tyler Anderson (LAA - SP)
12. (139) Spencer Turnbull (PHI - SP)
13. (150) Connor Joe (PIT - 1B,OF)
14. (163) José Caballero (TB - 2B,SS)
15. (174) Gio Urshela (DET - 1B,3B,SS)
16. (187) Will Brennan (CLE - OF)
17. (198) Jake McCarthy (AZ - OF)
18. (211) Jorge Mateo (BAL - SS)
19. (222) Dairon Blanco (KC - OF)
20. (235) Jacob Young (WSH - OF)
21. (246) Bubba Thompson (CIN - OF)
22. (259) Trevor Williams (WSH - SP)
23. (270) Reese McGuire (BOS - C)

Recent Additions from Last Week and This Week (since last update):

• Taijuan Walker (wins streamer)
• Bryse Wilson (wins streamer)
• Gavin Stone (wins streamer)
• Josh Lowe (1 FAAB)
• Dairon Blanco

Recent Drops This Week and Last Week:

• Sal Frelick (might re add)
• Esteury Ruiz (he just isn't playing or doing anything)
• Taijuan Walker
• Bryse Wilson
• Jameson Taillon (because he missed the start I was worried)

Trades that I performed since my last update:

• No trades for this week.

Current Roster and why I choose to own them:

• C: Luis Campusano (for AVG, sorta Runs?)
• 1B: Yandy Diaz (Runs, AVG)
• 2B: Ahmed Rosario (SB, AVG)
• 3B: Maikel Garcia (SB, Runs, maybe AVG, somehow RBI?)
• SS: Jose Caballero (SB, maybe AVG)
• OF: Jacob Young (AVG, SB, maybe R cuz leadoff?)
• OF: Jose Lowe (AVG, SB, possibly R)
• OF: Jackson Merrill (AVG mostly, mid SB, mid R)
• UTL: Jake McCarthy (AVG, SB)
• UTL: Dairon Blanco (AVG, SB)
• SP: George Kirby (Ace)
• SP: Kevin Gauseman (Ace)
• RP: James McArthur (closer)
• RP: Kirby Yates (closer)
• P: Hector Neris (closer)
• P: Cole Ragans (Ace)
• P: Chris Sale (Ace)
• P: Bobby Miller (Ace, but is hurt)
• Bench: Chris Bassit
• Bench: Erick Fedde (Numbers look elite like in the KBO)
• Bench: Jon Gray (2.36era 1.20whip, sell high operation)
• Bench: Garret Crochet (.99whip, high k rate, may sell high)
• Bench: Gavin Stone (streamer, sell high operation)
• IL: Jacob Degrom (ELITE when healthy)
• IL: Max Scherzer (ELITE when healthy)
• IL: Drew Rasmussen (almost elite when healthy, bit underrated)
• IL: Kodai Senga (almost elite when healthy)

Continue the grind! I made it through yet another week! I would like to talk about last week's matchup: It was a humbling defeat where I lost 3-6. The few categories I won were SB, Saves, K. We tied in wins with 7 for each of us. (Incredibly high amount of wins) My ERA and WHIP were massive because of my "Aces" not performing like it. Kirby, Gauseman and Ragans all did bad. People made a big fuss about me "winning those trades" a few weeks ago, but actually if I had Lugo and some of those other names I would have won this week.... Still long term I should be just fine. Oh McArthur also inflated my ratios. Walker was useful to help me with those wins. RP Neris somehow got 2 of them? Fedde continues to shine just like his KBO numbers and I'm much higher on him than most others are. On offense I barely got enough SB actually. Then really did NOT hit for high average. The two standouts were Yandy Diaz and Campusano! Ruiz was a terrible add and recently cut him. He hasn't played in 5 games. Time to shake this loss off and focus on the future.
No trades to report on this week. I was slightly less active trading and sending offers out this past week than I usually am. I still intend on selling high on Jon Gray and possibly Crochet (cuz innings limits concerns), and my streamer who just had an awesome start TUES Gavin Stone. Three for 1 package deal of course. I will be going after those buy low SP. I have no issues holding onto Jon Gray or Crochet either.
My matchup for this current week features an opponent who has only 22sb on the season compared to my 39. They only have hit for .243 average compared to my .251 so I feel pretty confident I can win at least those 2 offensive categories. Since we are two days in I'm actually ahead in runs at this moment too, however I doubt that will last since they are 4th in overall runs on the season. For pitching I'm absolutely dominant in the season stats. I am the LEADER in every single category. Pretty awesome considering the way I started at the draft! (It helps that players I took were absolutely incredible to start the year and I have streamed in many strong names). A deeper look on the pitching though they have 7 starts remaining vs my 5. I'm severely ahead thus far though with 4 wins, 26k, 0.94era, 0.70whip. So I absolutely have no real need to stream more SP. This is the manager that I traded some of my former SP like Tanner Houck, Seth Lugo, Jordan Hicks and Spencer Turnbull. They only have 2 closers compared to my 3 so I like my odds there too. I do predict a likely 7-3 victory for me this week.
In terms of the moves I have made already this week and my future moves this week: I secured a real nice speed and contact hitter in Josh Lowe! Feels like he will fit it on my squad perfectly! And it gets rid of my weakest hitter Ruiz. When I added in Dairon Blanco it's purely a speed play really. He may still be replaceable if this weekly matchup is close in runs and I need them later in week. Sal Frelick is an option to re add as well as other leadoff hitters across the majors. (Frelick hasn't been batting leadoff) I'm glad I held the line on Fedde and Crochet. I almost was going to drop them to stream in more starting pitchers. Late in the week I knew it was close in wins and I had no chance to win the ratios so I streamed in a few extra SP and cut Taillon. I certainly could have tried harder to "sell high" on him. Gavin Stone is fine on my roster, but I may actually add a pitcher with higher upside to both dangle in trades and/or just keep on team. I been in talks to obtain Jarren Duran or Brice Turang (both owned by the same manager) so that might be something that happens for the next update!
Bit of strategy talk here regarding my team build. The goal of a punt power build is to win 2 offensive categories (Ideally 3 eventually, R, AVG, SB) and win 4-5 pitching categories. (If you are able to obtain closers you have upside to win 5 pitching cats, if you punt saves then your upside is 4 and you would be more consistently likely to win WINS and K categories) I technically currently have the upside to win all 5 pitching and 2 hitting categories. (If I gain runs value I would even have maximum upside of 8 categories! 5+3=8) Remember that in category leagues you ONLY NEED TO WIN 6 categories folks! This is the benefit of punting! (And technically in h2h playoffs you can have a tie 5-5 and still advance to next round due to season standings and matchup ranking!) I think punting gives you less variance than other builds? Or maybe this less variance is just from having high AVG contact hitters? Discuss? (Could be an ongoing discussion throughout the season)
There is an interesting topic to bring up regarding trading for hitters who fit the "punt power" type of team build. I think buying low on Kwan and Trea Turner now become viable possibilities for my team and other punt power teams that may exist out there! If you have any other names that could be buy low, I'm all ears. Remember to always keep an eye out for prospects coming up who have the skills that you want/need! Sometimes you can trade away your current assets that you have for upgrades at weak positions on your team and then fill those holes of the guys you traded away with prospects who are coming up soon or have already come up. (Or a hot waiver wire bat that will fill in temporarily) In this way you become a team with "less weaknesses" (Of course that advice can apply to all sorts of type of team builds in head to head category leagues). What this means for this Undraftables team is I may be able to flip my pitching assets for hitting upgrades that give the full trifecta of RUNS, AVG, SB. (Corbin Caroll firmly on my future radar) Maybe I should already be sending feelers, hmmm...
Overall, continue to be quite happy with my team's performance and strategy, (despite last week's loss). As mentioned my goal is to win by a score of 6-4 or tie 5-5, but eventually will have upside to win 7-3 or even 8-2. I'm willing to make adjustments for each week and consider player recommendations to achieve that goal. So far, this has gone better than I expected (whereas this was tougher in the NBA)! One of the bigger takeaways you can glean from this strategy is that there are numerous ways to win a category league. I have won with punt power strategy for 3-4 years now so for me it is "proven winner". (Notate that this punt power strategy has NOT been tested in Roto YET. I plan to test that next year. Is this the best way to "punt power"? No, remember this was an "extra challenge" that I set forth upon myself.) You really don't have to go "Undraftables" (hard mode) like I have! A big takeway is that having superstars (or stars) undeniably will help a build like this do even better (Ronald Acuna, Elly De La Cruz, Witt, Corbin Carroll, etc), but you don't necessarily "need" those superstars. Instead you just need to have the right build or combination of players and a focus on your matchups. (In fantasy and MLB) There are various "useful" players with skill sets that are still worthy. You don't always need "The best player" in everything. (At least NOT IN A CATEGORY LEAGUE) If you have suffered severe injuries to some power hitters (like Trout, Casas, Royce Lewis, Josh Jung) you could transition and/or trade into a "punt power build" to try it out? (Or that could be something you consider further down the road in the season too) If you need help on how to do it, I'm your guy!
I'll provide weekly updates on the team's progress, so let me know if you'd like to follow along or have any suggestions! Thoughts on the team? If you want the previous updates on the team with "How I ended up here" and each week breakdown you can find them in a FB group or I can send them to you in a message. (I wasn't able to post early in season because I changed reddit profiles (hated my username) from last year which had bunches of karma!) (Can't post if you don't have enough karma) Additionally, I'm recruiting for next year, (although this is NOT the central goal of this post) where this unique drafting strategy will be the league's standard for each owner.

So, I've kind of posted about this in other threads, specifically on askreddit, but by some users request, I will do my best to fully relay this entire tale up to the current point, as well as provide as much context I am able (and will provide missing context if asked in comments).
TL;DR
A friend of mine of 4 years drank himself into liver failure and his wife cheated on him, so I offered him a free room to try and put his life back together, and I was repaid for the thought with a divorce of my own, but honestly, it's probably not that bad.
Part 1: CONTEXT
Me and my wife have been together since early 2014, and married in late 2017. We have been through much together, including two extended deployments, one of which was 10 and a half months long. We have traveled the world together, lived on both coasts of the US, and despite much of our struggles and how things eventually went down, I was always convinced we would work as a team to overcome any issues.
The friend in question was, largely, an online friend. We met playing an MMO during covid and we quickly formed a very tight knit, but small, community that were very close that included me, my wife, my friend, his wife, and 4 other friends. Covid was a wild time and I was surprised how easy it was to form friends in this group and we kept in touch, as a whole, even once quarantine had ended and most of us had moved on from that particular game. This was a group that, while it started online, we have met most of these people several times IRL and had vacations to spend time together and just hang out.
Part 2: His Problems
Fast forward to about January of 2024. My buddy, from here on out I will refer to as Z (and for a quick add, I will refer to my wife as D), contacts us to tell us his condition is dire and he has been diagnosed with stage 4 cirrhosis of the liver as a consequence of his extensive drinking. Shaken, we quickly charter a flight out to visit. Within a week, we're staying with him and his wife and his roommate and a couple members of his family who are taking care of him. This man is bloated, yellow, and probably about 350lbs now. We are worried, but stay supportive and positive that help can be found, especially since he seems keen on changing his lifestyle for the better. Some of his family start a gofundme that we donate to, and many of the people in our gaming circle who have grown close also donate several thousand dollars (One member of our raid team donated 10k. You never know who is stealth rich on the internet I guess). Me and several other friends discuss the possibilities of helping him get on disability and even getting ourselves tested as compatible living donors. Sad, but hopeful, we depart about a week later, and stay in constant touch.
About a month later, I'm getting a call from one of our mutuals letting me know that "Hey, so I may have goofed up." and tells me how Z's wife had visited him and had a 3 way with him and his wife. I am obviously irate at this and turn to back Z up with comments like "So much for in sickness and in health, huh?" I do what I can to stay supportive, and my wife, D, also makes it a point to stay in touch with him as he has found himself banished to the couch of his apartment. Not even allowed to sleep in his own bed and frequently uncomfortable even being in his bedroom to use the PC.
I'm not particularly rich, but I am not poor either. I served in the military and have a high VA rating which means a constant income and have a steady job and a couple side gigs that pay well enough. My love language, in many ways, is gift giving. I pride myself on being able to pick a good gift, even if it's a little early for an occasion such as a bday or christmas, and will often pull the trigger on something if it means a lot or I think it will help. In this case, my brother was selling an old steam deck because he wanted a new OLED model, so I figured "two birds, one stone", and buy the steam deck off him and send it to Z so we can still game together.
In the intervening months, Z and D start playing games that I have no interest in (Disney Dreamlight Valley), but I am happy to play other games and hang out and chat. Really, nothing seems amiss, but since his banishment, me and my wife are both pushing for him to come and take up the spare bedroom we have in our home. Soon enough, I buy him a plane ticket and he arrives with little more than the clothes on his back and we take him in, no cost other than the expectation that he might help around the house a bit (he was a chef, so having a cook and someone to help clean was ideal for me who often did not have the time or energy to handle these tasks as thoroughly as I would like).
Part 3: The Incident
Now, I am skipping ahead a little bit here, but there's not much to be said about the time between. My wife worked part time hours, and when she did go to work, she'd have him tag along just so he wouldn't "Sit and stew with bad thoughts" at the house alone. I will admit that throughout this entire ordeal, I have had several, several times where my brain tried to warn me, but I ignored ALL of those signs because I trusted him, but more importantly, I trusted her with my life.
One new, frequent argument I found myself having with her was she would fall asleep on the couch, and when I finally tried to go to bed, I'd do my best to wake her and drag her upstairs. These became extremely frequent occurrences and I expressed to her how frustrated I was that I had to fight with her just to come to bed so we could sleep (mind you, this is not even about sex. Often I'm taking her to bed at like, 1am and I work at 7, so I really just wanted her to be sleeping in the bed). Hell, one time, I started catching the vibes that the longer I sat and waited for her to be ready to go upstairs, she just never would be, because they were waiting for me to leave so they could talk in hushed tones. On THAT particular night, I went upstairs alone with her finally awake, and she did not join me for another half hour.
Finally, the day arrives. Its Sunday. We are all downstairs hanging out. One of their newest habits I can't really stand but just dealt with is that she'd sit and crochet while he doomscrolled or strummed on a guitar I bought him and listen to music videos on youtube endlessly. Eventually, I grow weary and give my wife a kiss and tell her I'm gonna go upstairs and play some GW2 for a bit.
About an hour passes, and she enters the game room and tells me "I am uncomfortable. I really need to talk to you. Oh, you're dying!" (As she entered the room, I immediately turn face to talk to her and disregard the game, but she decided that my Charr was more important that what was about to happen, so she of course warns me.) We step into the bedroom and close the door.
"You're going to hate me," she says through tears, "me and Z kissed!" At this point, my brain short circuits and I recall one of my first thoughts being "Oh lord, here we go." and just a general desire to not be a part of this conversation. Shock sets in almost immediately. Still with a healthy dose of denial, I talk to her about what had happened and told her that it needed to end. Even at this point, I did not want to send this man home. Was it shock? Denial? Probably a mixture of the two, or some other additional emotional responses. She gets up after some discussion and goes downstairs, promising to shut him down, but comes back about 15 minutes later sobbing "I couldn't do it! I couldn't end it..." (Side note: In my confused haze of a mind, I feel personally threatened, and after she leaves the bedroom, I lock the door and grab a metal water cub I keep at my side and prepare to actually fight if it comes to it, but once she returns, I back off that idea again.)
Talking with her more, I present her with two options; Couple's therapy, or divorce. BOTH of these options are world ending to her, and she even goes so far as to suggest that just because I said the "D word" that it was what I wanted, which was objectively untrue. We talk back and forth about things I don't quite recall at this point, aside from one point where she comes back and locks herself in the master bath and tells me to call 911, she doesn't care, because she's going to take a bunch of pills, but after a couple of hours, Z shows up to the door and knocks and asks if he can come in. I tell him he may enter, and we talk for a bit. After about 5ish minutes, we decide to go downstairs to the living room and continue the discussion.
Once I sit down on the sofa, I immediately feel like I'm being positioned as the bad guy. I'm in the corner of our sectional, and she's on my left, he's on my right. She tells him "He said it's either a divorce or couple's therapy." "Oh, so he gave you an ultimatum?" I continue to argue that yes, those are the two only options. Z tells me "You're not being fair to her emotions. She is telling you there is another option." I am thoroughly baffled at this statement.
D: I didn't think it was possible and I didn't mean for it to happen, but I have fallen in love with another man. My heart has room for two. I truly have two soulmates. I have never been happier than sleeping on the couch next to my two boys.
Z: There is no reason you guys can't stay married, and we can explore what we've found. I mean, look at how happy she has been since I have been here!
Sick to my stomach, I get up to go vomit in the toilet. Now, I wore a silicone wedding ring, and often find even with a hand wash, a little water tends to get trapped under it. After I finish and wash myself up, I come back and am playing with my ring to dry it. She sees this as a sign that I am uncomfortable again wearing my ring, and takes off her ring as I sit back down and hands me her wedding ring.
Me: Uh, excuse me?
D: This is what you want, I can tell.
Me: No? I was washing my hands and water gets stuck under my ring...
D: Oh... I thought... okay. (And she takes back her ring from me)
I tell her, very clearly, the options are to either end things with him, or end things with me. At this point, I'm still in shock, but sober in mind enough to decide that this is not worth fighting over. I will not argue with my own wife my merits or why she shouldn't just pack up and leave with a jobless, now essentially homeless man, and if she cannot figure that out herself then I will eventually move on.
Crying, sobbing, she sits down in front of him and says, "I'm so sorry, I fought for you. I really did. I told you I'd fight for you and I failed. I loved being your girlfriend, but I need to be a good wife and stay."
Z says "Alright." and starts to go gather his things to leave. As he does, she grabs him and says "No, wait! Please don't go. I don't know what I want."
Z: Ok, well if we're getting all this out in the open, I want to say this. I love this girl. I love her with my whole heart, and without her, life is not worth living. I will not leave this house if you (me) tell me to. Only her. You are taking this very well right now, I can tell you want to hit me (Still in shock, no, I can genuinely say that emotion or thought had not actually registered outside of the event upstairs earlier), but this is my stand.
D: OP, we had a good run. I'm sorry.
And with that, I get up and go to get my sandals and leave the house to get some air. As I try to go, she runs to the door and he follows her. She pushes the door closed and says "No wait, please!"
Me: No, this is the deal. I'm going out to get some fresh air. I am not threatening self harm to "win you back".
D: Will you be back?
Me: I don't know.
Z: Man, I'm telling you, you don't understand, you think I am your enemy, but I am not.
And with that, I leave and shut the door.
In the about, hour, I am gone, I drive around near the house and I call my supervisor who I have a very good relationship with (and I did not want to involve direct friends or family yet because I'm afraid it's too early to start spreading this news). I go over to her house nearby and we chat shortly. After our talk, I have at least something of a clear head and go home, with words for both of them.
As I arrive home, there is no one downstairs. I go upstairs. His door is closed. I knock on the door.
Z: Uh, one second.
I wait for about 5 agonizing seconds, but I refuse to be shut out of rooms in my own home and open the door. He is shirtless, and she is hiding in the corner just out of sight of me. I look him in the eye.
Me: Really?
Z: Yep.
Me: Get out of my house.
And with that, they both silently pack their things and leave.
The second I hear the front door close, I start calling people. I am not above pettiness, and the first person I call is her mom, whom I have a good relationship with. She is SHAKEN and immediately calls her. (I find out later that it was a particularly harsh verbal beating by her, but it really doesn't change anything.)
When I come downstairs to check the state of the house, I see her wedding ring on the counter. I call out of work the next day and lay down and hope I die.
Part 4: Her Problems
So, there is some additional context that I did not add in part 1 because a lot of it is red flags I ignored over the course of our relationship that, in the days following, started to become more and more obvious. There are many that I spent much effort playing off or covering her for, but I will try to briefly list much of what I see as glaring issues in the relationship that were never remedied.
This woman is 30 years old and cannot drive. She can drive and HAS driven my vehicle at the start of the relationship (albeit illegally), but after one tiny little accident where she hit a pole and knocked my side mirror off (which she paid for and fixed before telling me, it really wasn't a big deal. I was on deployment), she never drove again. Attempts to get her behind the wheel would end very quickly after they started, and the conditions to get her in the seat were often extremely time limited, scheduled, or something would come up, and every time I told her "okay, this month we're getting your license for sure" it just wouldn't happen and I'd end up feeling like the one who was at fault.
She does not have her Bachelor's degree because she did not turn in her final project for one single class. Not only that, but she has never truly pursued a career with the things she learned from the coursework, or even used her AA.
For half of the relationship, she did not work at all. When she did, it was often part time work, and if she was saddled with full time hours or, god forbid, overtime, it was a world-ending affair. She would come home and constantly be tired from her few hours at work and would do little more than sit around and crochet.
Our agreement when we bought our house was that she was going to work full time and we were going to split household duties, but I would definitely scoop the cat box because she was allergic (but she wanted cats) and wash dishes (because she hated them), and she would do laundry (because I hated it). In practice, all her version of laundry turned out to be was to throw loads in when one of us was out of clothes and just hit wash and then rotate, and then leave all the clothes in a pile on the bed. EVERYONE KNOWS folding the laundry is the worst part! Come on! Men's clothes are easy! I don't wear that much! (When we would fold, I often finished in a third of her time and would just hang out and chat until she was done)
Ultimately, this meant that for many years now, she was working barely more than part time if she was working at all, and would sort-of do laundry. Meanwhile, I am scooping litter, folding laundry, doing dishes, doing all related yard work, doing all the household cleaning, handling all the finances, I did MOST of the cooking, and all of the grocery shopping (often going alone), driving her from work if I could (she'd uber it if not) and picking her up and driving her home, as well as just generally being a chauffeur for her for 10 years, while working a full time job and a side gig online. Many nights I'd have to stop what I was doing to pick her up at closing hours, and then would sit in the parking lot for 30 minutes while she did tasks like vacuum her little crystal shop that she definitely could have done before close so I didn't end up waiting so damn long. Then we'd come home hang out and eat while we watched TV, and then if I wanted to try and go upstairs to do another hobby, I'd be silently guilted about it because she wanted to sit on the couch and crochet.
Part 5: My Problems
I am not perfect, and admit I have flaws. One of her favorite things to claim to our friends now is that I was "emotionally neglectful", and if there is truth to it, I think I can pin down the day. Before I started working full time again, I was going to school on the 9/11 GI bill. I was not a good student in my younger years, but in time, I have become rather good at school. My first two semesters back I easily maintained a 4.0 GPA. Over the summer in 2022, I, woefully, decided to take a Calc 2 class online because I could not find one in person and wanted to be ready for Calc 3 in the Fall to fill a prereq for my bachelor's, and I really liked the instructor for that Calc 3 class. This calc 2 class was painful. The instructor had clearly recorded all his lectures during Covid and we were simply given the full course of videos and given work assignments and said "Email me if you have questions." This is not how I learn, but I figured, hey, it's one class. I'm working again, but one class isn't a huge deal. I can knock this out.
I was wrong.
After the second exam, I had a low C in the class and I knew I couldn't keep up. I withdrew from the class feeling no other option. I tend to be pretty good at math, and ultimately my dream was to work with 3d printing on an industrial scale with a Mechanical Engineering degree- and if that failed I had my military history (which is engineering relevant) and a degree to fall back on and work should come easily. After clicking that withdraw button, I saw those dreams vaporize. After that, I threw myself into my government civilian job full time and slowly fell into depression. By the end of our relationship, with the toll of doing 99% of the work around the house and for her and with my dreams dead and buried, at age 33, I would wake up and pray I died. I would never kill myself, but I wanted to just die. I felt backed into a corner. I still did everything I could to support her and hoped that one day, she would pick up some of the load and maybe, just maybe, I could go back, but that day did not come (At least not in the way I expected).
Part 6: The Aftermath
This post is already too long, and if I include every single detail that has come to light since, I might actually hit the post cap, but I will go over at least some of it here.
I have had my friends come out in droves. Both of them have been effectively exiled, at least from what I can see, from every friend circle we have. After a couple of days, they flew back to live with, I guess, his parents in Vegas while they sorted shit out, because after I spoke with Z's previous roommate, he adamantly explained he was tired of all the "fucking drama" that Z had been bringing into the house and was just done with it.
I have spoken with many, many people and gotten even more context and even receipts of some of each of their conversations to our mutual friends, and some of the shit I read is just hilarious. He is "not ashamed of pursuing happiness, he is just sad that people got hurt". She is "coming to terms with emotional neglect and felt trapped, but now, yes now, she is free."
I got my neighbors to watch the cats, and took my dog up to visit my closest friend of 20 years and spent about a week and a half drinking, smoking, and talking about all this while surrounded by some of the most beautiful nature the US has to offer. Truly, without this man, I don't think I'd have gotten this far as quickly as I have. He really has been a lifesaver and I truly, to my dying day, will always appreciate him.
Paperwork has been filed, we wish to remain on good terms, and one day I still do hope I can be a friend to her, but she is woefully immature and incapable of adequately performing in an adult society. I have quit my job and am returning to school with a much lighter budget and will be getting that degree I desperately need.
It's been hard, real hard. I have put every ounce of my being into this relationship, and I truly felt like she was part of me, and nothing like this could ever happen. But it's that trust that allowed this to happen. I do not hate her, I'm just disappointed. I will pick up my pieces and, hopefully, find myself whole again soon.
Part 7: Rambling anecdotes
These are some stories I wanted to include in the previous body of text but didn't feel like it kept the same flow (if there even is any at all, I'm not proofreading this). If I remember any others after I post, Ill just toss them in the comments.
Early after Z came to live with us, my mother came to the house to drop off a package. I am pretty sure I was at work, but when my mother came to the door, both of them answered the door and the way my mom describes it "First of all, do you answer the door at your friends house? Also, the way he hovered over her made me uncomfortable. They were in the doorway and he was right up behind her poking his head out." She said my wife had told her that I was feeling unwell and was upstairs sleeping. I can't even be sure at this point.
Shortly before all the things happened, my parents were going out of town to celebrate their own anniversary, and I had agreed to dog-sit their 5 month old puppy (who, while cute, has WAY too much energy and was EXTREMELY difficult to handle, and I have raised several dogs at this point). We met up and took the dog, and then ALL of us (including Z) went to dinner. At dinner, my mother looked at my wife and asked, directly "And so how long have you been married? 6, almost 7 years? Well at least you missed that 7 year itch, huh" and my wife shortly followed with a comment about how she was not hungry and did not eat dinner that night.
All of this happened WHILE THIS CRAZY PUPPY was running around the house, and part of me thinks he pushed this to happen when it did because he could not stand having to help take care of this dog any longer (2 days).
About a week after all this happened, my wife did not text or call me, or respond to any messages or emails I sent her (I didn't send many, but they exist). Frustrated, I text her and tell her I need to talk to her about logistics moving forward, specifically about her belongings. She told me "I will talk to you when I am ready." We did not talk for another week. Also, she told me to stop talking to her mom. (I have a good relationship with both of my in-laws and while her step-father tried to remain impartial to the best of his abilities, he gave me some of the best advice I could possibly have gotten at that time, mostly about how to move forward and cope, as he has personally dealt with this with smaller relationships 3 separate times in his life which he gave me details on, and we are still on good terms.)
Their favorite TV show to watch together was Outlander, which, if you aren't aware, is basically a story about a woman who time travels and has two men in her life.
One of our biggest constant points of contention was my friendship with an old high school buddy (who I spent much of the time in the aftermath hanging out with while healing). We believe, with good reason, that she hated this man because after I had almost been hospitalized for psych reasons due to stress, he had told me I needed to talk to her about working again and doing more to help around the house. She figured out, obviously, who was telling me to say these things, and sent a very, very angry text to his wife. They all apparently made up, but I know she never let that grudge go.
One of the fairly recent hobbies I got into was D&D. It seemed like a good fit for all of us. She loved fantasy and gaming, I enjoyed 3d printing and story telling. She needed friends, and a party of people hangin out would give her at least a few connections to start. Every night she "participated" in D&D, she mostly sat quiet and did not do anything. Hell, I tried to get her to participate in 2 different games, and after she left the first one, she asked to just sit quietly in the discord call (This first one was online only, second was in person) and listen, which was super awkward. In the in person game, after 3 months of playing, she did not know how to play her character at all, and mostly spent her time at the table crocheting. (My buddy even made a comment about how at one point, he was proud of how good I was getting at DMing and I was giving particularly good exposition, and she interrupted me to hand another player at the table a dice bag she made. I don't remember it, but I absolutely believe this happened.)
The day of "the incident", she had a meltdown about how a friend of hers had ghosted her. I told her it was okay, she was much younger anyway and people grow apart. She's probably going through stuff and we should respect that path she's on. She cried about how she has no friends.
Also the day of "the incident", we were in the shower together and she told me she had met her sister's new BF on facetime. I asked "why did she break up with her old one?" "Well... she cheated on him." "Oh, that's a shame. Cheating is probably the most cowardly act a person can do to another. If you're going to start a new relationship, you need to grow a pair and end it before starting a new one." She clearly took my words to heart.
One of my biggest pet peeves about cleaning the house is our dog sheds, a lot. If I see a hairball roll through the house it immediately drains me a bit. We had a roomba. She would send that thing home when it started and never start it again. It barely ran. She would not vacuum.
One of the most common descriptors of her I've heard used by many people now that they're "allowed to" is "She was there, doing the thing with us, but it was like she wasn't there."
Something she thought that I apparently hadn't figured out by the time we talked after everything happened was that they had been talking since February. I told her I wasn't stupid and had figured it out already that this wasn't out of the blue.
Z's wife is currently pregnant with the baby of the man she cheated on him with. (And he is also married)
Anything else I remember Ill leave for comments, I know there is much, much more.

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MHA has a lot of logical inconsistencies like allmight giving izuku his quirk at very last moment without taking at least a week to see how good he is at using it, setsuna and yanagi not dominating the second round of the sports festival, Izukus teachers not being able to help him discover full cowling (the only thing unique about his quirk is its power output otherwise there are a lot of other quirks that worked under same principals (eg: Redestro) so the experienced teachers should have been able to help him BEFORE the sports festival started) and muscular actually being able to tank a 100% one for all hit. So two of allmights sidekicks is david shield someone who specialized in support equipment and sir knighteye who fights using his high density weights which are very reliable pieces of support equipment( I am honestly surprised more heroes don't have them) that's not to mention that I honestly doubt that mei was the only support student to make it to the third round. So why wouldn't izuku tried to become a support hero like powerloader since he really didn't believe who he could become hero quirkless that his only preparation for it was to observe and analyze other hero's quirks so it wouldn't be out of character for him to design support gear that would be able to help or even emulate quirks like a pair of jet boots and pneumatic gauntlets to ape speed and strength enhancing quirks respectively (not to mention the fact that strength enhancing mechsuits are very much possible in MHA's tech tree). Point is that it would have been very easy for him to compensate for his quirklessness using support gear (like that quirkless vigilante who built his career using a pair of knuckle dusters with a taser function) especially since in the chance that he wouldn't be able a hero (like midoriya himself believed no matter what he told himself) he would still find work in an industry that would allow him to work closely with other hero's. It's almost like author kept midoriya as a blank slate of heroic potential for allmight to sculpt without putting much thought into obvious ways he would have tried to pursue his dreams.

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Hello, I’m a SAHM and I’m looking to get into crocheting. I’m so bored when the littles are sleeping & housework is done. I need something to keep me busy & doing things. I’m more of a visual/tactical learner. I usually pick up on things fairly easily & quickly but, I do best seeing it in person vs a video. I have a few questions if anyone could help.
1) How & where do I get started? 2) What do I need? 3) Where should I buy supplies? 4) What supplies do I need? 5) What’s the easiest or best way to start? 6) Is it something that’s easy to learn?
Any help/tips are welcome and greatly appreciated! Thank you so much!

I think more than a year ago I went to a psychiatrist for the first time in my life and got diagnosed with depression, anxiety and ADHD. I only went back to that psychiatrist one more time and then I think I quit everything because I was tired of how nothing worked for me. I didn't receive any medication for ADHD — only depression and anxiety — which confused me for a while, but I'd assume it was because I'm at an age where "it can't be treated anymore". That was the first time I learned a bit about ADHD, and then I went into a rabbit hole a few months ago, feeling like I finally found a name for what I'm dealing with.
And now I'm doubting it again.
I never went back to that psychiatrist again, and instead tried two others one after another with a small break of a few weeks(?) in between, maybe. And that was a few months ago after learning more about ADHD and realizing I relate to a lot. My parents have differing views on psychology, so I only received some help and support from my dad, but I don't feel like the support lasted until the end. The second psychiatrist I saw didn't smile at all the whole time, and only gave me a tissue when I broke down crying, later mentioning how that took longer than it was supposed to take and how someone else was waiting to get in. She said that even if I were to have ADHD, if I didn't get diagnosed as a child and it didn't pose me problems then, right now medicine would only increase my insomnia and make me more cultured than I already am, or something like that.
The last psychiatrist? She didn't even tell me the diagnosis before I asked her for it. The medicine didn't help me at all.
I've given up on trying to get help after all these years. Only God knows how many times I've felt like I really do have ADHD only to doubt myself again afterwards. I've had others say they see things I do that are typical in ADHD and even a diagnosed buddy saying I have it. I feel like a psychiatrist could diagnose me again and I'd still doubt it for the rest of my life unless I'd get a brain scan or something and I'd see it with my own eyes.
Do I struggle with eating? Yes. Am I a picky eater? Yes. Do I play with my hair a lot or chew the inside of my mouth? Even now as I type. Do I forget too many things? Absolutely. Do I usually put videos on a faster speed, crochet or eat while watching videos, easily get distracted most times and get overwhelmed from small things? Oh yeah. Best believe my storytelling is inconsistent and I can blabber a lot. Also best believe I jump from one topic to another, can feel good or ok now but then later suddenly not feel good, or try and do activities but then stop because none are entertaining enough. Have I felt for the longest time that I am an outsider and that I just don't fit in? That for some reason everyone else seems to have it easy except for me? That there just is something wrong with me that anxiety and depression don't explain? Yes. And I'm sure that I could add to the list at least a couple more things, and I'd still doubt myself and whether I have ADHD or not. But I wish someone could tell me what they think, and if it seems like I have it or not. Life has been awful many times, and sometimes it was insufferable, but I keep fighting, whether with someone by my side or alone. Though I'm sure some of you don't believe in God, I do, and He has been the One keeping me alive for years on end. By His grace I want to heal, but I cannot seem to heal when I keep looking for answers that aren't coming from anywhere. Questions just seem to keep piling up, and I don't know what to do anymore.
In a sense, I feel lost. I wonder if anyone else could notice a species of ADHD in what I'm saying.

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