Can you really get a scholarship for being under 5 feet

You read the title, I'll give you this example of a woman I personally know and her boyfriend who she is cucking. I'm a man of less words so if you have any more questions about particular things you want to know about I'll let you know, but for now I'm gonna try and cut it short but it's pretty interesting so I might fail.
This girl who is easily one of the ugliest girls I have ever seen in my life (Bodywise, facewise). If I had to rate her she'd be a 4/10 but her makeup makes up for it, literally. By at least 1.5-2 points so she looks "average". She is also overweight for her height (She is 5'4" or 163cm and close to 80kgs, don't care to convert that to freedom units)
Her boyfriend on the other hand looks to be about a natural 6/10, which she also agrees and thinks that he's very handsome. He's actually 6 inches above the average height here by being 6ft tall, which she actually has a massive fetish for, going as far as saying that guys under 6ft are just "not it".
Put that generalized information aside and let's move to the more personalized parts of this relationship, as she herself is a loudmouth whore who gawks on the next man she deems as attractive, she also naturally is very open about her relationship.
So the way it began was she broke up from her attractive boyfriend, she actually got DUMPED by him. Somehow after 2 weeks of sobbing and crying and acting like the biggest bitch on the planet she somehow found somebody else, who also unsurprisingly is tall and handsome. So you'd think she'd try and win him over now and secure herself a nice boyfriend? You'd be wrong! She tells him "I'm only here to use you as a bandaid from my ex-boyfriend" who this fucking loser actually agrees upon and begs her to please give him a chance and see because "she does" and it begins.
Throughout their relationship if you observe her she's constantly searching for the new guy. She actually has a lot of guys on her burner Instagram account (hidden from her boyfriend) where she keeps these guys around for no particular reason (well there's a reason but y'know the drill). In real life, she's always looking at other guys, checking them out, saying shit like "If I didn't have a boyfriend who I wanted to marry I would definitely FUCK him!" and this goes on for any guy at this point she sees. Last time she actuallly legitimately texted some new guy on TikTok, letting him know just how attractive he was. Now I don't know what happened after that but I have obvious suspicions to say the least.
Other than the cheating and unfaithfulness, she actually hates the guy's family, constantly disrespects them and literally curses them out. What does the guy do? He actually agrees with this and says he wants to "Just live with her". He wants to escape his family, no not because they're abusive or unsupportive of this douchebag but because he "loves her". See the family gave him everything, a pretty cool starting point at university, clothes, food, shelter, care, love yet that is just not enough UNLESS he's getting it from this ugly ass bitch who's cheating on him.
Why? I mean tell me. Why? This guy is handsome and tall and can easily replace her. What the fuck is going through his mind? He actually plans to marry her or they have such a plan. Which is insane. And look I'm all for whatever makes you happy but C'MON MAN it's so easily apparent the divorce, the papers, the half cut, the destroyed life of this man ahead in the future and yet this man is fucking blind to it. What does this bitch have that the next girl doesn't? This guy might just be a masochist of some sort. Why not date someone loyal, someone prettier and less fucking obnoxious. Yeah, she actually boasts about doing all this. I hope this guy actually comes to his senses before it's too late.
Maybe this is just what you get with these "6ft only!" type of girls. Just shallow, empty and heartless. She actually told me the other day how men under 6ft cannot be attractive to women. It's crazy!
Oh, I'm sure I'm missing out a lot on you for sure. I'm so sad that I'm not him, y'know your boyfriend who seems like a better candidate for a cuck pornography making studio than being in this relationship with you. He might actually enjoy it at this point. Just the craziness. I wonder how many stories alike are there to this? I mean I'm not even a social guy, I don't even do this shit. I don't even remember caring as much but yeah i just wrote a lot about it cuz It's been making me think. Y'know seeing everyone feeling so desperate, feeling so depressed because THOSE type of girls won't date THEM? Man, it's a prize, really. You could be this guy. Y'know get in and this is what you get for being tall. Just a bunch of horseshit, God I really kept it short didn't I? Whatever. Hope it made you cringe.

As someone who has played a few 2D fighter games causally with friends, the difficulty in TFH is beyond fair. The character and story is fantastically interesting, and I think the game has a really nice charm to it but man is it just horrifically unbalanced. I'm not a bad gamer nor am I hyper competitive, I'm just your average Joe. I've 100% all the RE games, but RE1, and has 100% & beaten Ascended Radiance in Hollow Knight yet this game is too much of a challenge.
My main, and only really complaint is that it frustratingly difficult. The controls are a little slow on response, your light attack is very frustrating to use cause you have to hold for ~0.5 or so seconds instead of just tapping, and the enemies not only block most your attacks but will pretty much always combo you when they hit you, so much so it got in the way of one, not being able to enjoy the game but two being unable to proceed through the story.
Cuddles (mind you, is a fantastic name) felt like the difficulty equivalent to Dung Defender. A bit tough for your first boss but fine for anyone who's played any 2D fighters, but Velvet?! I've tried for about half an hour and her difficulty felt like the equivalent to Nightmare Grim, and again this is on beginner! Her attacks are so fast it's practically impossible to dodge with the clunky movement, and if this one of the easy bosses them I don't see how anyone is meant to finish the game.
I really would like to try to get into the game but it's just too hard. Is there anything I can do?

Long post :( thank you for reading in advance.
I just graduated from Carnegie Mellon University, at a branch campus in Qatar. I'm an international student from Vancouver, Canada. The education between the Qatar and Pittsburgh campuses are pretty much identical and In the end, I carry a CMU degree, but while most main campus students get the chance to get high-level internships and carry some serious networking leverage, I didn't really get that. Qatar has a very small software engineering scene comprised of either government (e.g. hospitals, ministry of transportation), research/academic institution(s), or startups (some successful, most not). If you're a good student, it's not hard to get into one of the good positions through a professor or alumni, since almost everyone knows each other. But positions don't carry much weight, especially since I'm planning to go back to Canada. A Canadian recruiter won't recognize a local startup in Qatar.
My degree was a BSc in Information Systems, with a concentration in Data Science. I've always loved CS, but I wasn't proactive enough to switch majors early on. My cGPA (in my opinion) is subpar, hanging around 3.02. I didn't land internships. I'm relatively young, just turned 21. Up until my Junior year, I was dead set on my esports passion. I made it big early on and was a data analyst for some top teams, but over time reality set in and I backed up. Between that, and Covid, and other excuses, I didn't solidify my study disciplines.
As a non-CS person, and generally not having taken core CS courses (Distributed Systems, Security, Networks, OS, Parallel Computation, etc) + not having job experience + my low GPA, really doesn't set me up well for the job market.
Despite that, I'm ridiculously passionate about Software Engineering and ML. Even with my academic performance, I'm one of the most active people in my cohort. I've been repeatedly asked/demanded to be a course assistant for most core courses. I was infamous in my sophomore year for helping the whole class pass by tutoring them in Data Structures. I had certain Software Engineering courses where we worked with real clients. I led multiple of those, being both the Project Manager and handling all backend at the same time, and was consistently successful. In my last year, against a lot of odds, I took some 400/700 level courses in Deep Learning, even having major prereqs waived, and got A's on them.
Even in my partly delusional esports days, as an analyst, I worked on some otherwise massive Data Engineering projects on my own. I developed my own ML pipeline that would crunch hours of player footage and calculate performance metrics. I had to come up with my own custom video processing pipelines on top of CUDA. TL;DR I'm very confident in my skillset and I feel very capable. I think I definitely have the skillset and the ability to succeed in a junior SWE role.
My aspiration down the line is to work as an ML Engineer and even in Research, but I recognize that it's not easy to get to that point from where I am now. I applied to ~6 Masters programs in ML/CS/DS across Canada, and turned up with 0 offers. I'm actively planning to complete the independent "missing" CS courses as a non-degree student to raise my GPA, and study/network back on my own turf.
As another way to damage control, I'm also trying to apply for internships to gain experience I can use to get into entry level positions, and to perhaps overachieve and gain return offers. A lot of internships are locked to those who are currently studying, which I've just completed, so it narrows the job pool by a lot.
Currently, I don't know what to really market myself as. An ML Engineer who did phenomenally in a PhD tier Deep learning course? A Data Scientist, since I completed their Data Science concentration and capstone course? A Software Engineer, since I've built and shipped software and generally, SWE is the biggemore flexible umbrella that both MLE and DS fit under.
In general, I'm just not sure where to put my chips.

• Do I emphasize completing missing CS content in a Canadian university as a non-degree study in hopes of raising my grades and clearing prerequisites, so that I can increase my changes of getting into a Masters (and equivalently, getting better job security)?
• Do I work with the networking I currently have in Qatar to get entry level positions, accept the low pay and lack of prestige, and hope it can help me transfer over to the Canadian market?
• I will definitely be applying like crazy for internships/entry level positions directly in Canada. But is it looking bleak given my experience (or lack thereof)?
• As a Canadian and fresh grad, should I be applying for U.S. roles?
• How should I market myself? I'm okay with any role across SWE, MLE, DS, DE, even DA, but I can't just slap all those roles on my LinkedIn headline or CV. How are you guys handling your role-invariant job search.
• Any advice?

I am going to write a Boruto rewrite fanfiction, what would you suggest I should do more? I will do the following things.

1. Make the new cast 15 instead of 12. It is now an era of peace, so the graduation age should be moved up, given that only 1/3rd kids were able to pass.

New genins will start directly from C-rank missions.
Certain things like tree walking, water walking, somewhat mastering atleast one chakra nature, and various D, C rank jutsus.

1. Instead of Naruto not paying attention to his family, Naruto will pay too much attention on them, especially Boruto. Which will make him annoyed.

This doesn't assassinate Naruto's character, and gives a contrast to Sarada, whose father isn't present. So, it will be even better if Naruto also pays good amount of attention on Sarada, which will make her dream to become the Hokage more believable.

1. Instead of the Shin bullshit arc, make it so that Sasuke explored Kaguya's gravity world and took one year. But because of high gravity, the time there was much more slower. So when Sasuke returns he is 23-24 at best, and realises that his daughter is already grown up.

Sasuke decides to tell Sarada everything regarding the Uchiha clan, because he suffered due to people hiding such important details from him. Him admitting that Uchiha clan was also in the wrong will show that he has become more mature, and it will be good for Sarada's character development.

1. Have the first mission in which the client wants Team 7 to do something bad, and gives a lot of money. State that all the Ninja villages are somewhat struggling financially as the importance of ninjas is decreasing.

But, they refuse, establishing that ninjas have moved away from the definition that they are tools for their village. They are individuals who can think for themselves.

1. In the chunin exam, don't have Boruto cheating in every single match. Have him win in everything. Especially not against Shikadai of all people. And have the finals Boruto vs Sarada.

Sasuke has told Boruto that he will accept Boruto as his student if he wins, and Naruto has promised Sarada that he will accept her as his disciple if she wins.
Finally loosing, he cheats under the pressure. As the 7th and 4th Hokages' son and grandson, he has been under the pressure of constantly being the best since birth. Make his personality a bit like Sasuke from the start, since he has been in the middle of centre.
Boruto defeats Sarada, but doesn't feel a bit happy as he sees Naruto being proud. So, he reveals that he cheated himself.
This will make him a better character than the whiny shameless brat.

1. Now, Momo and Kinshiki appear. Momo throws a Bijuu bomb, and Sasuke absorbs it with Rinnegan, because he can.

Make Momo a lot stronger. He was weaker than Edo Madara in base.
Somehow then, 4 Kages+ Naruto + Sasuke +Sakura have a fight with them. Since Sarada has spent all her chakra, she won't be in the fight. Boruto shouldn't be too, but he sneaks into as Sasuke's portal is closing.
Since Boruto is 15 already, he is more of a help, and delivers the final blow with the vanishing Rasengan.
Momo is defeated, Boruto gets his Karma seal, and they return to Konoha.
Naruto accepts Sarada as his disciple since she won in the Chunin exam, and Sasuke accepts Boruto because of seeing him fight, and the mysterious seal placed on him by Otsutsuki.
First part of the story ends here.
In this, instead of two parts, there will be 6 or 7 parts.

The hornets traded Kemba for terry, drafted PJ Washington, jalen duren, tanked for lamelo and miller and signed some guys like bridges and hayward. Realistically, I don’t think you can expect to do much better than that.
You could say “easy, just get a guy like Cooper Flagg” or whatever, but they reality is that we are a lot more likely to end up with a core like PJ/duren/lamelo/miller than we are to end up with Flagg/wemby/banchero etc.
So, what can we do different to avoid being 21-61 after 5 years of rebuilding? I personally think culture is a big part of it. I think the hornets in particular have really shit culture and have trouble keeping guys like lamelo, boi knight, bridges etc in check. Teams like Orlando, Cleveland and OKC seem to have a much better culture. OKC is almost an outlier though because they stockpiled a record number of picks, but Orlando and Cleveland seem to be a more likely blueprint to success for us.
One other thing I can think of is roster construction. I always thought lamelo and terry were a terrible fit for example. You could say the same about Cade and Ivey without any real shooters. But you can also argue that both teams went best player available, so that’s a tough one to argue about. I’m not sure how we avoid that one. For example, if we draft Sarrisacher this year and then land Flagg/bailey next year with no real guards or centers then we would be in a similar position.
Obviously you have other things like asset building (revamping trade values, taking on bad contracts, etc) that Detroit and Charlotte did not do well, but I don’t think it’s quite that simple.
But what else can we do? Do you guys think it’s as simple as culture?

In the survey we were asked to pick 5 skills ingame we did not like and want to improve. Here are my 5 chooses:

• Agility
• Runecrafting
• Firemaking
• Construction
• Dungeoneering

Reason why i pick those skill because it of two reason they are either boring to train or not that rewarding.
How would you improve these skill?
Agility
How i would like to see agility improve would be:

• Add a new combat training method for agility. Example new creatures that have special animation you interact with were your character will perform an action that strike the monster weak point and you get agility exp.
  
• Add vital point to monster, a random event that appear when your fighting that will cause a random side of the monster to sparkle. If you strike from that side of the monster you deal like 10% increase damage and regain adrenaline or some other buff.
  
• Buff exp rate on agility course by 25%. This way if the combat training method is introduce player can decide if they want fast exp with no reward aka the agility course or slow exp with rewards the agility combat method.
  

Runecrafting
I would like to see runecrafting improve in the following way a new training method.

• New training method could be called mystic weaving where we make magical armour and weapon that we can imbue. This would also mean taking away magic armour from the crafting skill and putting them in the runecrafting skill.

Firemaking
The only thing i would improve on firemaking is just add more useful rewards because the exp rate is already fast but the rewards are lack luster. Some reward ideas

• Explosive
• New range weapon that require gun powder like pirate pistols

Construction
Improving construction would need a skill rework and new rewards. The rewards are going to be the major issue in construction because it need to be really useful. Ideas for rewards for construction:

• Grand teleportation Nexus: This will let you teleport to pin point location.
  
• Grand agility course: Make your own agility course.
  
• Boss Chamber: Make your own boss by fusing boss monster together.
  

Dungeoneering
The main training method needs to be improve and more rewards need to be added.

Hello everyone! My wife applied to medical school this year and got waitlisted so we bought this really nice MCAT Ultimate Prep Course because she was advised she wouldn’t get in. $2750 later and one week into the course she got accepted but now we’re a little strapped for cash. The prep course is one week in with recorded lectures and stuff to watch (about 5 days worth) and all the books and white board. I have seen people talking about scammers before and this isn’t one of those deals. I don’t know if I’m allowed to post this kind of thing but I’ve been trying to find anywhere this would be appropriate so I’ve posted in here and MCAT2. I really wanna be able to give someone a good deal and have a little extra cash to help move! The prep course ends in late July and my wife had her MCAT scheduled for August 2nd. She’ll send you her notes on the first week of materials too! And if you don’t want the books because there’s online PDFs and videos of everything we can sell separately.

hahahahahaha welcome me back to reddit pls, i just got fumbled by the guy i saw and built a future with 😆 i really wanted to see where it'll go pa kasi i really liked him and we had so many plans for us, kaso wala lol when i was actually ABOUT to risk na and all he had to do was to reassure me and assert na he wants to pursue me, saka pa sya nagbago soooooo lol i know someone out there can ACTUALLY reciprocate my energy, no more no less, and someone who can PULL THRU with their words and match it with actions, so here i am! :)
for your reference, i am: - in the med field, will enter med school 🤓 - from big 4 - yapper!!!!! but i'm an intj - 5'0 🤭 - easy on the eyes, confident w my looks!!! - ive been told i have a soothing speaking voice(?) pero idk back when im handling patients, matinis daw boses ko lol - can do calls when i'm comfy! - i'm very patient and mataas bar ko sa mga bagay na need ng high tol (like if ure busy and need time off, have a lot on your plate, hectic sched, etc - i'll try to understand) pero once i feel disrespected, i will detach :D - with my weird humor, make me laugh lang, sayo na ko agad ako na bahala sa paghahabol sayo after lol JK 😡 - clingy when im SUPER comfy :) - the rest is for u to ask abt!
about you, i prefer someone sana who's: - mestizo/chinito/moreno - any! easy on the eyes 🤭 - 5'6 up! - good speaking voice 😼 lakas nyo sakin - around my age (22-27) - big 4 grad (SANA but not required ok wag nyo ko awayin lol) - in med or law or in a field ure good at - would respect my non negos and work around it - someone who'll actually CONSIDER them and keep them in mind hahahahaha - communicates 🗣️ communicates 🗣️ COMMUNICATES 🗣️ - clingy is okay! pero slowburn tayo pls? 😁 - funny and has the same humor as me! - ekis sa nonchalant utang na loob paawat kayo 🫵🏻 - interested abt getting to know me, hindi yung gagawin lang akong placeholder para may magfill ng void habang wala pa yung gusto ko
notes: - no situationships (dm me only IF ure in it for the long run) - let me vibe check muna. once we mutually agree on being exclusive, that's the only time na pwede ka na/ako mambakod 😆 - i'm icked when someone is inconsistent and refuses to communicate 😁 so if ure nonchalant and cant even text back and spare 5 mins, pls shoo away 🫵🏻 - not swapping pics til im comfy, will take a while so if deal breaker sayo, i respect that naman :)
that's all! send me an intro of u and tell me a joke na rin 🤭 see you!

tl;dr: mom committed felony fraud against me, how do I transfer the debt to her without charging her with fraud
My mother has a really bad gambling problem and while I was in college she opened a credit card in my name with her as an "authorized user" to "help me build my credit".
After college I got a call about a missed payment on this card, luckily the limit was only 500, but when I went into the bank because my mom said "oh it was probably stolen" I learned it was only ever used for cash advances for soaring eagle.
At that point I decided to never mix my money with my mother's ever again. Neither a borrower or a lender be. I also got creditkarma, and noticed a few cards that weren't mine on my credit score. I disputed them on creditkarma's internal system a few times but they never fell off. I asked my mom about them and she said they were probably hers and apologized that our credit was intertwined, because she's always had bad credit.
fast forward ~ 10 years later, one of the cards get overcharged. Chase notifies me that my credit was affected and I decide to call about the card. All of the contact information is my mothers, and all of the primary user's is mine. I am assuming this is due to those "you're pre-approved!" mailers you get. I close one for fraud with a note I don't want to press charges because my grandmother who does have enough to cover this says she doesn't want that to happen if it comes to it.
total balance of cards: amex: ~7k (this one is insane because it was closed with a zero balance and 8k was added between feb 2024 and april 2024)
Discover ~15k
citibank: 4k
Can I refinance this debt under her name to recover my credit without charging her for felony fraud? I truly believe in restorative justice and throwing the book at my own mother seems disgusting. I do think online gambling should be banned because it breaks people's brains and it's too easy to do.
What do I do about my credit? it's now 643 (I know, I'm a fucking idiot for not seeing this stuff)
I'm sorry I'm terrible at writing, I blame the American education system

19f Diagnosed with depression, anxiety, ocd and hypothyroidism (all under control at the moment) Meds: focalin, depakote, ziprasidone, pristiq, (all for depression and ocd) levothyroxine (for thyroid)
I’ve been working for about 3 weeks now at walmart, i work about 20-29 hours a week. my job is pretty easy so far. I mean it involves a lot of standing but the work itself is pretty simple. I am on my feet all day and when im not standing/walking im up and down kneeling to get stuff on the ground.
It really shouldn’t be that physically demanding for someone my age. But 3 or 4 hours into my normally 8 hour shifts (with a meal break after four hours) i start to have terrible brain fog and vertigo. My hips also hurt really bad which doesn’t help. It’s too a point where i can no longer concentrate enough to do my job and am basically useless the second half of the day. My coworkers say i look unwell and are concerned about me. I also move really slowly and am more shaky than normal. I can barely focus enough to fold and hang clothes, and it’s hard for me to notice things that need to be done like a fallen hanger or clothes in the wrong order even when im trying to find something to do. My brain just won’t register even when im trying really hard to concentrate the brain fog is awful and the vertigo persists for a while even after i sit down. I thought that after i got used to the job i would have less issues but it doesn’t seem to be getting any better.
I also say again that the pain in my hip, knees, and legs, is pretty damn bad. Mostly my hips. I think the pain is contributing to the brain fog and lack of concentration.
I don’t have any known blood sugar issues, i take a multivitamin, im trying to drink more water and stay hydrated. Any idea as to why this is happening and if it will stop on it’s own as i get used to work. If not what are the next steps i should take at least before i can see a doctor which may be a while.

I am looking at purchasing a 2020 Mitsubishi Mirage G4 ES; I test drove it yesterday and I like the simplicity of it as well as the small size and low price tag. 90% of my driving is just me (one passenger) 20 minutes to and from work and then the occasional 3-4 hr beach road trip a few times a year. My only concern so far with it is I have no knowledge of three cylinder engines and while I did recognize the car needing a little higher RPMs for highway speeds and a little extra time to get up to speed, this does not bother me. It does however make me wonder if an engine has slightly higher RPMs over time (the average being just under 3000 while on cruise control on the highway) does this wear down the engine and affect longevity quicker than a larger engine? I can’t seem to find an answer online. Also would having more passengers for road trips really strain the engine as well or do you think it is made to endure working that hard at times?? Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!

The TL;DR here is that I am looking for hiking boots that allow for decent sensation underfoot and have some flexibility in the sole, but that fit my fairly wide but high arch(?) feet. I wear between a women’s size 7-8.5 depending on how wide the shoe is.
So far I’ve tried on almost all the inventory at both REIs near me, results:
• I LOVE the feel of the La Sportiva Ultra Raptor II Mid sole — plenty of sensation underfoot but still supportive — but both the women’s wide and the men’s regular were definitely too narrow. REI didn’t have wides in any men’s size that would reasonably fit me. 2 questions here:
1) Are the Ultra Raptor II Mids built on different lasts for men’s vs women’s? I.e. are the men’s wider?
2) Is there any other boot that offers a similar sole but caters to a wider foot? (I am aware of Scarpa, but their models seem to be more rigid than the Ultra Raptors; I haven’t been able to try any yet, though.)
• Salomon X Ultra 4 Mid gets second place for ground feel and flexibility, and they did seem to be a bit wider than the Ultra Raptors — enough that I suspect a women’s wide might fit if I size up. Sizing still isn’t ideal, but my larger concerns are with their durability at this point. I don’t do many intense hikes, but I do like wandering around in the woods with my dogs and am not the most gentle on shoes — I worry they won’t hold up long enough to justify the cost.
• Teva Grandview (I think) Mid was surprisingly not bad in terms of ground feel, but it was a bit more rigid. They do run much wider, though, so I can probably find a size that actually fits. This is my “backup” plan right now if I can’t find something more similar to the Ultra Raptors or X Ultras that fits.
• With my insoles, I can’t even fit my feet into Altras; they’re too low volume.
• Merrels and Keens were too stiff and/or lacked ground feel in the multiple models I’ve tried.
Right now I hike in chacos; the Z1s in women’s 7 WIDE (have to be wide) are the only shoe I’ve found that almost completely eliminates my foot pain, prevents me from supinating, and helps with some of my joint issues/pain. I also love hiking in my chacos because I can actually feel the ground underfoot to an extent. I find that feedback really helpful. The problem is that this prevents me from being able to “tick proof” myself and obviously offers less protection on more sketchy terrain. I would also like to have a little ankle support.
Tread Labs insoles aren’t quite as good as wearing my chacos, but they do help with the right shoes (right now, a cheap pair of oversized steel toes). I will probably get these to put in whatever boot I end up with.
Recommendations or any help would be so appreciated! Thanks!

Hello everyone! My wife applied to medical school this year and got waitlisted so we bought this really nice MCAT Ultimate Prep Course because she was advised she wouldn’t get in. $2750 later and one week into the course she got accepted but now we’re a little strapped for cash. The prep course is one week in with recorded lectures and stuff to watch (about 5 days worth) and all the books and white board. I have seen people talking about scammers before and this isn’t one of those deals. I don’t know if I’m allowed to post this kind of thing but I really wanna be able to give someone a good deal and have a little extra cash to help move! The prep course ends in late July and my wife had her MCAT scheduled for August 2nd. She’ll send you her notes on the first week of materials too! And if you don’t want the books because there’s online PDFs and videos of everything we can sell separately.

Act 1 Scene 1
Int. Edd's Apartment Room - Bedroom - Morning
Edd (In sleep bed) SNORE, SNORE, SNORE- (EDD’S face is sprayed with Cola) I SUREDDER! (Looks around room) Oh.
(Cut to) Edd Int. Edd's Apartment room - Closet - Morning (Edd Choses which Hoodie to wear) [Hoodies references to different Hoodie designs] (Picks his Modern Hoodie design)
(Cut to) Int. Edd's Apartment Room - Bathroom Edd (Grabs toothbrush) (Zooms in to show that's it’s Cola flavored) (Brushes teeth) (Grabs cup of Cola) (Gurgles it) (Spits it out) (Makes a big wide smile showing his horrible teeth)
(Cut to) Edd Int. Edd's Apartment Room - Kitchen - Morning (Edd takes bacon in a Oven) (Puts it on a plate) (Edd sits at his table) (Holds up fork and spoon and licks his lips before shoving the entire plate into his mouth) NOM, NOM, NOM MM! The plate is always the best part! Act 1 Scene 2
(Transition to) Int. Edd's Apartment Room - Living Room - Morning Edd (Sits on couch) Ah.. it is a good day to watch Return of the Insane Zombeh Pirates from Hell 4! SLAM (The door goes as MATT and TOM come in)
Matt (Overlapping Tom) BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH I FOUND THIS GUY AND HE SOLD ME CRACK SO I GAVE IT TO A TWO YEAR OLD THEN IT STARTED TO-
Tom (Overlapping Matt) BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH I PULLED AND PULLED BUT IT WOULDN'T COME OUT, SO I GOT A PLANT AND STARTED SAYING NEVER GONNA GIVE-
Edd SHUT UP! (Matt and Tom look at each other) What is it…
Matt He broke mirror #1028!
Tom Nuh Uh!
Edd (Sigh) Tom, did you break the mirror?
Tom No!
Matt Liar, Liar, Dance on Pliers!
Tom (re: notice) Uh, Edd I found this by your door. (Hands to Edd)
Edd (Grabs) Blah, Blah, Blah. Your landlord will require possession of your apartment in 16 days, if rent is not paid! Oh no, I can't afford to paid rent!
Tom Don't worry- well actually do worry bc we all got it.
Matt Can't we mooch off of that crackhead down the street again?
Tom I’ve run out of crack to give to him, and I don't got enough to buy any either.
Edd Can't we get a job?
Tom Don’t you remember what happened last time we got a job!
Edd Oh yeah, we got fired for “immaturity, and irresponsible” or whatever bogus they said.
Matt We’re perfectly mature! They have to have a screw loose!
Tom One time I agree with you Matt. Right Edd… Edd?
Edd (Face plants onto couch) It’s hopeless…
Tom Come on Edd, things could be better!
Edd Do you mean worse?
Tom No, I meant better.
Matt Yeah, you could be friends with a stupid, narcissist and an unsupportive, alcoholic.
Edd (Annoyed, or disappointed face) Well… I guess- TOM WHAT ARE YOU DOING!
Tom (Standing on a chair with a hanging rope hanging from the ceiling fan) Who’s going second bc I'm going first.
Edd Tom, we promised to commit suicide when we get kids!
Tom Oh yeah.
Edd Tom, do you remember that safe in our old house?
Tom Yeah, the one that we left behind when it got destroyed?
Edd Yeah, that one. I was thinking we could go back and break into it. There’s bound to be some cash left in there.
Matt But what if the cops catch us?
Tom Relax, Matt. We’ll make sure no one sees us.
Edd We’ll go at night and make sure to cover our tracks.
Edd But we have no mask- (Tom, Matt are suddenly in Goofy Villain outfit) Edd Where did you even get those
Matt Dumpster!
Edd There's no way I'm wearing one of those! Act 1 Scene 3
(Cuts To) Ext. Old House - Backyard
The three friends stand in the backyard, wearing their goofy villain outfits, as Edd adjusts his costume with annoyance.
Edd (Cont'D) "This is ridiculous. I can't believe you two made me wear this."
Matt (Excitedly) "You look great! We're like the Three Stooges of crime!"
Tom (Grinning) "Yeah, but instead of just being fools, we're gonna be rich fools!”
Edd Matt did you cover our tracks?
Matt Yeah, look. (Shows an path of purple path leading right up to their location)
Tom Matt you know when I said I hated you?
Matt Yeah?
Tom I DIDN'T LIE!
Matt Aw...
Edd "Alright, let's just get this over with. We break into the safe, grab the cash, and get out. Simple enough."
Tom (Cocky) "Piece of cake, guys. We're professional criminals now."
Matt (Excitedly) "We're going to be rich!"
(The friends approach the safe and begin trying to open it.)
Edd Uh, does anyone remember the code?
Tom Not me!
Edd Matt?
(Camera pans to Matt admiring a picture of himself)
Matt I thought I lost you forever baby (Matt says as kissing it)
Edd
Tom(drunk) My idea is to blow up an orphanage!
Edd How do you get drunk off of Smirnoff in 4 seconds!?
Tom(drunk) Idk ask the unicorn in the sky!
Edd (Sigh) I'm going home.
As Edd turns to leave, Tom comes to his senses.
Tom "Guys, hang on. What if we try a brute force attack? Like, really give it a good ol' college try?"
Edd (Sarcastically) “Oh yes, because that's so much better than blowing up an orphanage.”
Tom (Ignoring the comment) “Just hear me out. We all know that safes have a maximum number of combination attempts before they lock us out. So, what if we just brute force it?”Edd But what brute force would... (Edd's eyes spark up with an idea, and a devious smile form's on his face)
Tom So... what's the idea?
Edd (Raises his eyebrows)
Tom I don't speak eyebrows?
Matt (Raises eyebrows)
Tom What!?
Edd (Overlapping Matt) THROW TOM!
Matt (Overlapping Edd) THROW TOM!
Tom Did I ever tell yall I HATE ALL OF YOU!As Matt and Edd start shoving Tom towards the safe, he starts resisting and shouting obscenities at them.
Tom (Yelling) "What the hell is wrong with you guys?! I'm not a goddamn battering ram!"
Matt (Laughing) "Oh come on, it'll be fine! What's the worst that could happen?"
Edd (Shoving Tom) "Just go with it, Tom. You'll thank us later."
Tom (Reluctantly) "Fine, but if I break anything, I'm suing you two.”(Edd and Matt lift Tom over their head and chuck him head first into the safe making a extremely loud smash)
Edd See Tom, that wasn't so bad!
Tom I think broke one of my hair bones
Matt Is it open?
Edd Nope. It's dented tho!Edd Still dented.
Matt Again-
(The gang hear police sirens)
Matt OH NO I'M TOO PRETTY TO GO TO JAIL!
(The police pull up and get out of the cop car with gun)
Cop 1 PUT YOUR HANDS UP!
(The entire gang puts their hands up with a ton of Matt's pictures falling out of his clothes)
(The police officers look confused as they witness the sight in front of them.*)
Officer 1 (Perplexed) “What the hell happened here?”
Matt (Innocently) “We were just trying to break into a safe. No big deal.” Act 1 Scene 4 Int. Cop Car - Midnight
Tom (Drowsy) “Why do my eyelids feel like heavy rocks…?”
Matt (Looking confused) “Hey, does anyone else smell pickles?”
Edd (Snickering) I knew I shouldn't have put on pickle deodorant!
Cop 1 (Driving) “Quiet, back there!”
Edd (Mumbling) Sorry Angry Mcgee!
Matt (Whisper) Pss, Edd!
Edd What?
Matt Get this! (Quickly throws a picture to Edd with his mouth)
Edd What is- Holy S**t I thought I lost this forever!
Camera pans down to show Edd, Matt, and Tom when they first moved in, including a old friend named Tord)*As the camera pans down to the picture, we see a glimpse of a time long ago. Three friends – Edd, Matt, and Tom – are laughing and smiling, with a fourth boy, Tord, standing beside them. They're holding balloons and standing in front of a house they recently moved into. Act 1 Scene 5
(Transition to) Jail - Cell - Midnight
Edd TOM! I'M DYING HELP ME!
Edd is dramatically lying on his back, holding an empty Cola can, pretending to have a heart attack. Meanwhile, Tom is sitting on a bunk bed and rolls his eyes.
Tom (Sarcastically) “Oh, yes, because your Cola addiction is definitely the biggest concern here. Not us being thrown in jail overnight.”
Edd OH WOE IS ME!
Edd writhes around on the bed in despair, while Tom just sits there, clearly agitated by Edd's melodrama.
Tom "Edd, you've been going on about your cola running out for hours now. Can you give it a rest, please?"
Edd (Frantically) "You don't understand, Tom! My cola was my life! How am I supposed to survive here without it?"
Tom (Tired) "Perhaps you should try sleeping or something?”Matt Uh, guys why is there a dude in helicopter trying to shoot us with a bazooka?
Edd (Sarcastically) Well thats just great.
(The group is flung back as the cell window is blasted open)
The man with the bazooka comes through the smoke.
Paul Hello, uh sorry I don't know your names. The Red Leader only refers people as code names.
Tom The Red who?
Matt My name is the beautiful Matt-
Edd covers Matt's mouth
Edd Don't tell him your name idiot!
Paul My name is Paul.
Camera Pans to Matt
Matt Why are your eyebrows 20 feet tall?
Camera Pans back to Paul
Paul They aren't even that big are you blind!?
Camera Pans back to Matt
Matt suddenly wearing blind glasses
Matt Yes
Patryk Hi my name is Patryk-
Paul PATRYK YOUR FLYING THE HELICOPTER!
Patryk Oh.
We hear a Helicopter explosion from outside. Paul and Patryk look down from the exposed cell wall, showing the burning half-destroyed Helicopter.
Patryk Don't worry I'll fix those scratches!
Paul Whatever.
Edd So, are you here to save us?
Paul Nah, we're gonna capture you!
Edd Aw, Bugger
Paul pulls out a "Super cool taser gun" as the label on the taser gun says.
Tom Lame.
(Tom is shocked and knocked out by the taser gun)
(The group watches in shock as Tom goes down from the taser-gun.)
Matt (Panicking) "Oh no, Tom! Edd, do something!!"
Edd (In shock) "What can I do? There's two nut jobs with a taser gun and an assault rifle who are trying to capture us!"
Paul (Casually) "Don't worry, if you don't resist, you'll be safe. The Red Leader just wants you guys for a special project.”
Edd Whatever.
Edd blacks out
(Cut to) Helicopter - Backseat - Morning
Edd wakes up
Edd (Distraught) Ow my head hurts!
Tom (Confused) What happened?
Edd (Deep Voice) Hey Babe.
Tom (Angry) Wtf Edd!
Matt is making muffled sounds because of a mask on his face that says "Beware ugly fish monster behind mask." Edd takes the mask off of Matt.
Edd (Disturbed) EW, the mask was right!
Matt (Angry) Hey!
Paul So you finally woke up!
Matt Uh, yeah
Edd This reminds me of when I flew a Helicopter when I was in the Uk Army!
Paul (Confused) You were in the army!?
Matt We all were can't you tell just by looking at us!
Camera pans to show all of the three boys looking exaggeratedly more stupid than usual.
Paul No.
The three friends look at each other in annoyance, feeling belittled by Paul's remark. Tom speaks up.
Tom (Sarcastically) "Oh wow, thanks for the compliment. Nice to know we look like a bunch of army rejects."
Matt (Defensively) "Excuse me, we are actually highly trained and intelligent individuals... in our own special way.”
Tom (Sarcastically) At least two of us are!
Tom and Edd high-five. Matt not realizing that they are inferring that he's the stupid one, keeps a smile on his face
Edd (Amused) Wait didn't your Helicopter crash like a few hours ago?
Patryk (Proudly) This is my 857th Helicopter!
Edd's Amused face goes to worried.
Edd (Unsettled) “Oh boy, this is going to be one bumpy ride…”
Edd At least we're away from the HELI-COP-TER
Everyone looks at Edd because of the horrible pun.
Tom So, where are we going?
Paul To the "SUPER EVIL EDGY VILLAINOUS BASE!"
The camera zooms out of the Helicopter to show that the place is actually called "SUPER EVIL EDGY VILLAINOUS BASE!"
Edd Well that's just silly.

So, as of right now my group is about 3-4 sessions in but hasn’t technically started the campaign (had to wait to officially start because of some scheduling, so I made what I thought was a quick “how you all met” mission which has lasted much longer than expected). But to get me in a pumped headspace I have been watching the Stream of Many Eyes to get some inspiration for the upcoming campaign. During one of the round tables Chris Perkins made a comment that I thought was interesting. That WDH’s downtime is setup in a way where you could run another module right in the middle of it. That got me thinking, that could be very interesting depending on what other campaign you chose. So I started thinking and had the “brilliant” idea that I could work in Tyranny of Dragons into this and have a urban heist romp that bleeds into this sprawling epic with dragons. I think for my table especially they’ll enjoy this and have the best of both worlds.
So here are the changes that I am planning on making in both modules to make them mesh and jive.

1. I am running the Alexandrian Remix first off to add depth to the city and give my party a reason to want to resolve things in the city and not just run off looking for dragons.
   
2. I will be replacing the Grulhunds with a sect of cultists and a Purple Robe. There will be a few correspondents in the villa vaguely describing some of the goings on of the cult in other regions. This will also be taking the place of the Grulhunds in the Grand Game and they are currently track the Stone of G. With the ultimate goal of acquiring the cache of dragons to offer to Tiamat. (The goal here is to shroud these cultists in mystery and not directly tie them to the Cult of the Dragon. Just like WDH we want the PCs to be unsure of the intentions and not give too much away.)
   
3. This Purple Robe will be responsible for the fireball at the start of chapter 3, and will have a Nblewright with a necklace of fireballs that steals the Stone of G. The encounter at Grulhund villa with commence in a very similar fashion to what is laid out in the Alexandrian and depending on who the PCs talked to will determine who is there.
   
4. Once the PCs have the Stone, or at least have an idea where it is the progression will resemble the Alexandrian. The difference being the Cassalanterns involvement and the faction missions. Most of these missions will be geared toward odd cult like activity in the city and surrounding areas. All of these will culminate at the Asmodean shrine as added by the Alexandrian.
   
5. The Cassalanters will be worshipers of Tiamat and will be trying to recruit the PCs to get them the 500k dragons for the offering to Tiamat under the same ploy that their children were cursed at birth etc. They know of the other cultists taking the place of the Grulhunds, but the others don’t know about them.
   
6. Per the Alexandrian the inserted shrine to Asmodeus will be the Dragon Egg hatchery from chapter 3 of HotDQ. Here we will basically have the same encounter as the original chapter. There will be vague correspondence letter between Mondath and Victoro and with high enough rolls the PCs could potentially find the connection. Also held captive here will be Leosin Erlanthar from HotDQ and this will be where the PCs get filled in on much of the info regarding the Cult of the Dragon (as provided in the first 2 chapters of HotDQ) and presumably what their intentions with Neverembers embezzled gold. After his rescue Leosin says he must go meet Ontharr Frume to gather more intel but he will rendezvous with them back in the city. This will give the players a pause enough from HotDQ storyline to focus on the cache of dragons.
   
7. The rest of WDH should play out as normal, with a few smatterings of cultist announcements from town cryers as the PCs walk in the streets.
   
8. Other mechanic changes is Aurinax does not have the dragonstaff. What wards off all potential dragon attacks on the city is the black staff and the Walking statues of Waterdeep who are the sentries of the city.
   
9. The ultimate goal is the PCs give over the gold to the Cassalanterns, in the process of the game to potentially sow distrust towards Vasraj via the Cassalanterns and make the PCs turn on her or if that is unlikely to happen have her assassinated and the black staff destroyed. With the statues rendered useless Victoro initiated an adult from a chromatic dragon and cultists on the city. The gold is taken away and then the proceedings of Tyranny of Dragons can proceed.
   

Clearly this is still in the early stages of being worked out and there will definitely be some balancing that needs to take place along with working in some more of the early chapters of HotDQ along side the storyline of WDH (maybe as faction missions?). and you can probably tell that we remove the first couple of chapters of Hoard to interstate the story into our Waterdeep session.
I know this is wild, and will probably bite me in the butt, but I think this might have potential to be something real fun, and keep Waterdeep at the heart of the story.
Let me know what you think, if you have any suggestions that could potentially help with laying the foundation and making everything cohesive. And I will try to update this as the game progresses!
Happy rolling guys!

Previous Part
My eyes darted around the room, still shocked from the brutality I just witnessed from Shaoni. Katrina had strutted out of view and when my eyes turned to where Brooke’s crumpled form should’ve been he was gone to. At some point both Robert and John had run off towards the growing sounds of gunfire. Shaoni and I still stood in the coliseum, shaken to our cores but both for very different reasons.
*CLANG*
The sudden noise startled me, the sound of metal on metal. The sound came again, this time I heard it clearly and turned around to face the noise only to be met by a few familiar faces.
“Don’t mean to bother you but their shootin up the place, could ya let us the hell in!”
Rocco shouted as he beat Brookes stolen lighter against the metals bars that closed off the back entrance to the coliseum. Bianca gave me a sheepish wave as I looked over their faces again. Frank, Stein, and Tuck were with her. They must have come through the same way Bianca and I had a few days before.
“NOW!”
Rocco shouted in irritation as my brain finally kicked into gear and I ran over to let them through the barred metal gate.
“What’s going on up there?”
I wondered out loud, concerned by how shell shocked they all looked.
“I’d guess something involving the government, with equipment like that I doubt it would be anyone else. Just as we got to the hole Bianca mentioned several men in black tactical gear came out of the forest at our sides. When we didn’t clear out like they demanded they started firing so we dove in.”
Stein explained.
“I take it that’s Shaoni?”
He added, pointing towards where she lay, hunched over and taking shaky breaths on the ground.
“Is she alright?”
Bianca chimed in, craning her neck to get a better view of her past everyone else.
“The hell should we care!? Isn’t it her fault we’re doin’ any of this in the first place?”
Rocco grumbled up at us as he laid back on the ground. Glad to see he wasn’t taking things to seriously. Tuck just stared at Shaoni with this intense anger in his eyes, he didn’t say a word.
I know I shouldn’t care what happened to her at this point but a part of me just couldn’t leave Shaoni like this. Sure, she probably didn’t deserve the sympathy but I couldn’t help feeling a little bad for her now that the anger had passed. When I made my way over to her I got the sense I was seeing the real Shaoni for once. I was seeing someone who witnessed her people rise and fall, saw the country we live in change and grow as it became what we know today. Someone who’d lived countless lifetimes as a piece that just didn’t quite fit the puzzle anymore. I thought about everything Bianca had learned about Shaoni, how she was given her powers, no, her burden in the first place. Suddenly I had a pretty good idea of what exactly she brought everyone here for.
“Shaoni?... Are you… uh, you ok?”
I said like I was trying to comfort a dying animal. The closer I got the more I could hear, she was crying. It was that held back sort of crying right before the dam breaks into full on sobs. She was cracking but still trying to put on a tough face, still trying to be every bit as imposing as she had been the first night I saw her. But she wasn’t, now she just looked pitiful.
“You… you’re right you know Keith. I’m not Justice anymore… I…I don’t think I have been for a very long time.”
She choked out through tears that flowed freely down her face as she rose to her feet.
“I don’t know why I brought you here… I was just so desperate to…”
She trailed off but that was alright, I already knew what she was going to say.
“To escape? Pass on your burden? This whole thing was to chose someone to pass the Thunderbird spirit onto wasn’t it?”
I asked, sure that I was right.
“Yes, this is what I wanted from the start, to give my burden to one of you. At first I wanted the trials to help me make my decision but by the time all of you arrived I just wanted a way out. I wanted to finally live a real life. I’ve lived too long… I just want to live simply before the end that should’ve come so long ago.”
Shaoni cried, more controlled now as she finally started to get a hold of herself.
“So what? You’d just give it to someone else! What about what that would do to them?”
“I just wanted out Keith! I know it was selfish, I don’t care! I just want the nightmare to be over!”
Shaoni screamed out at me. She was hysterical enough that I saw Stein’s hand shoot towards his belt. I’m sure he had that gun I saw yesterday waiting there so I held out my hand to signal him to wait.
“We did good once, in the beginning. But that changed, the wars the injustice I just couldn’t stand by and let that happen so I fought back. I spread the idea that fighting to the death was better than compromising for peace, compromising to save lives. That’s when we… I went wrong. I lead them astray! I was responsible for their deaths! Every! Single! One! I was bitter and resentful for years and I took it out on anyone I thought was guilty. I’ve lived with that for centuries! Do you think I don’t know I’ve become a monster Keith?!”
Shaoni finished with a look of profound shame on her face.
I never thought I’d see the day when I actually felt bad for Shaoni. Not some spur of the moment there’s a full on shootout going on above us and I probably shouldn’t let her die, feeling bad. No, I genuinely felt sorry for her after hearing her talk about the past with total honesty for once.
“You could come with us.”
I offered, looking back to everyone who’d gathered around her at that point. The looks on their faces all told me they weren’t fans of that Idea but only Tuck protested.
“I won’t help her crawl outta the bed she made! Keith, do you honestly think she doesn’t deserve everything thats comin’ to her?!”
“No, but I think she’s suffered enough. Besides, I really don’t want to leave someone down here to die knowing I could’ve done something about it.”
“You know what, fine! You care to much about this Keith, she deserves it! But if you want to take her with us don’t be surprised when she goes on and stabs ya in the back! Now come on, we should get moving.”
Tuck finished, throwing his hands up in the air in an act of frustrated surrender.
“So you realize we’ve got to go out there right? We’re not climbing back out the way we came in so heading out the main entrance is our only option at this point.”
Frank said bluntly as we watched Rocco scurry out of the hole they had dropped in from. We’d all collectively decided we were better off sending Rocco back home. Frank was right though, and even though the sounds of gunfire had started to sound a little farther away I still wasn’t a fan of getting anywhere closer to them.
“I might be able to help with that.”
Shaoni replied, getting to her feet with an air of determination.
“Stay behind me and move when I tell you to.”
We all fell into line behind Shaoni without another word. I guess all of us realized the the sobbing mess we’d seen before also just so happened to be the same Thunderbird that reduced most of Imalone to ashes. So despite how we felt about letting her lead us around it was probably our best chance at the moment.
I was a little surprised that none of… whatever was happening out there hadn’t spilled into the mine and made its way to us. We found out why just as soon as the single file line behind Shaoni made it out of the mine. The camp was devastated, what wasn’t on fire or covered in bullet holes was smashed or ripped to pieces. The ground was littered in bodies and shell casings. A few hundred feet in front of us a small group of Shaoni’s followers where taking shots at the men in black tactical gear Stein had mentioned. There was maybe ten of them but it looked like those ten had slaughtered nearly all of the followers that had made up this camp.
I threw up on the spot, I was so shocked by the scene in front of me I didn’t even manage to bend over, it just kinda waterfalled out of my mouth. I heard Bianca groan in disgust from behind me. I didn’t understand why everyone else wasn’t reacting the same way I was. As I came back to my senses after a minute or so I took off my now vomit covered jacket and felt the cool air through my shirt. Shaoni had instructed us to move and I must’ve moved on my own. All of us were gathered behind a small rocky outcrop near the entrance to the mine.
“You doing alright?”
Bianca asked quietly from behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder. I turned to look at her and noticed the jewel encrusted dagger from before was clutched in her hand, twinkling with reflections from her now glowing blue eyes.
I could barely hear Bianca over the sounds of gunfire. Which almost certainly meant the last of the survivors were being wiped out. I couldn’t watch anymore death today so I just ducked lower behind our cover.
“You hear me Keith? Are you ok?”
Bianca persisted with a little more concern in her voice. I was still trying to pretend I hadn’t just seen dozens of dead bodies but I couldn’t really ignore her forever.
“No not…not really.”
I said, my voice coming out silent as a church mouse.
“Was it the-”
I cut her off
“I’ve never seen a dead body before, I mean I have but not like… not like that. The one guy his jaw was just…. Just gone. How do you guys do it? How do you just look at that and not react?”
Bianca sighed and looked me in the eyes. There was a kind of recognition in them, like she was seeing a little bit of herself in my situation.
“We’ve all seen a lot of horrible stuff in our lives, we’re used to it. Still it doesn’t make it feel normal to see… this. Do you think you can hold it together a bit longer or do you want me to…”
Bianca trailed off but it was obvious to me what she meant. Bianca was offering to soothe that terrified part of me with her powers again.
“Thanks but no, I’ll be alright I’ll probably be seeing this in my dreams for weeks though.”
I answered, trying to make a stupid joke to lighten the mood. Bianca cracked a hint of a smile and that was enough for me.
While we’d been talking everyone had failed to notice Shaoni was gone. She had stood up and was walking straight towards where those men in black gear where picking through what was left of her followers. She was glowing though, every single tattoo glowed with an intense white light and then in a flash she was gone, and the Thunderbird was in her place. Frank and Stein stared in awe of the huge beast in front of them. The Thunderbird looked exactly as I remembered. The blue feathers and steel gray beak reflecting in the light from its crackling white eyes.
“That’s it, That’s the god damn bird!”
Tuck yelled like we couldn’t see what was right in front of us. I think he was just surprised to see the Thunderbird again. Even after years of swearing to get back at “the bird” for the friends he lost I don’t think he ever thought he’d come face to face with it again. Seeing it must be bringing up more than a few memories he’d rather forget.
“Don’t do anything you’ll regret! She’s been helping us Tuck, at least put your differences aside until we’ve gotten all this figured out.”
Stein yelled over an ear splitting screech from the massive bird as Tuck began to tense up. Every muscle in his body looked like it was about to pop, they were bulging to an inhuman degree. With a long exhale he loosened up and the swelling went down.
“Damn it… fine! But only till we got things settled here, after that I need to have a “conversation” with that… thing!”
Tuck shouted in begrudging agreement.
The men in front of us all turned toward Shaoni, her new form towering over them. Then I heard a familiar voice shout out,
“You wanted it gone, You’re looking at it! What’re you all waiting for!”
A commanding voice rang out from one of the people in front of us. I didn’t take long to spot the platinum blonde hair poking out from under the armored black helmet the woman wore, not just any woman, Katrina. I didn’t have much time to let that sink in before Katrina made a fist, stuck two fingers up in the air and shook them forward at us. After that, all hell broke loose.
The men behind Katrina rushed forward, guns drawn. Stein drew his own pistol and cocked it, taking aim at the approaching men. Tuck tensed up again and this time he didn’t hold himself back. Bones cracked and skin shifted to accommodate the inhuman muscles he now possessed. Hair sprang up all over his body and under it his face became more angular, his nose almost snout-like. Tuck looked something like a werewolf but definitely not the wolf man I expected. He looked more like an extremely hairy, unnaturally muscular feral person than any wolf man. Frank, Bianca, and I all hunkered down behind the outcrop, waiting for the worst to happen. Shaoni took to the sky with a flap of her massive wings as the gunfire started.
Nothing ever really prepares you for how loud a gunshot actually is, especially a whole bunch of them from fully automatic weapons. There’s nothing quite like being shot at either, at some point you just have to accept the fact that at any moment one of those things flying around you is going to hit you and just get ready for it. That doesn’t actually do anything to calm you down though, at least it didn’t for me. I was huddled behind that little outcropping like a puppy hiding from fireworks on the fourth of July. Wind gusted all around us as Shaoni flapped her wings furiously. The wind coming from her winds was so intense it blew the bullets being fired at her off course. Lead rained all around us as I listened to the cracks of even more bullets being fired. I heard growling as something roughly Tuck sized tore forwards toward the gunfire.
The sky was turning an enraged black and rain had already started to fall in sheets. Lightning struck the ground every so often as well, to close and regular to be natural. I peaked up over the outcrop at one point. I was just in time to see one of the men get struck by a bolt of lightning and tense up as he fell to the ground. As the men kept firing at Shaoni some of their shots started to hit home. The bullets that didn’t get turned away with the wind glanced off her massive form. Whatever those feathers were made off seemed to stop most of the bullets dead in their tracks but it was becoming obvious Shaoni couldn’t keep this up. From our position behind the outcrop Bianca and I both felt the beats of her wings and the gusts of wind that came with it coming slower and slower. We shared a glance for just a second, from the look in Bianca’s eyes, I felt certain we were doomed. More and more of the bullets seemed to be hitting Shaoni and her movements became slower still until eventually it happened.
With a shrill cry she fell from the sky, her blue features stained red in places. Shaoni hit the ground with an earthshaking crash and lay still. Katrina screamed something I couldn’t hear in the violent storm that still raged all around us. When I inched my way up to take a look I saw Katrina and her men charging toward Shaoni guns drawn. Behind them I caught sight of Tuck’s muscular figure getting back up from the ground. I hadn’t been keeping an eye on him before but it looked like he’d seen better days. He hesitated a bit before me moved, looking back to the outcrop where we were and over towards where Shaoni lay. He looked once, twice, then shook his head, mind apparently made up and ran at the men on all fours.
They didn’t hear him coming from behind over the storm and as they raised there weapons Tuck pounced. With one swipe of his humongous hand he sent one of the men flying off towards the forest. Even Katrina was surprised by Tuck’s sudden attack. The time provided by everyone taking a moment to decided who to point their gun at gave Shaoni just enough time to act. She shot one wing out, glancing off everyone near her and knocking them to the ground. One of them men’s helmets flew off with the hit and Stein quickly lined up a shot and fired, hitting the man in the top of the head. The look in his eyes was devoid of any emotion as he ducked back down behind the outcrop. I got the sense this wasn’t the first time Stein had killed, not surprising considering his time in Germany. Still, there was something unsettling about that look in the old scientists eyes.
As Katrina and her men got their bearings again and started firing at Tuck bullets plinked off the outcrop. Apparently they hadn’t forgotten we were there. I stole a quick glance over to where Shaoni had fallen but the Thunderbird was gone revealing a hole in the ground created from the impact of her fall.
“TUCK!”
I screamed out to get his attention for a moment. Tuck’s head swirled towards me just long enough for him to see my outstretched hand pointing to the hole in the ground. I grabbed Bianca’s hand and pulled her to her feet, making a mad dash to the hole. Frank and Stein saw what we were doing and followed after us. Stein fired wild shots off towards Katrina and her men while Tuck kept harassing them.
By some miracle Tuck was still going even as I saw bullets tear into him, he was an animal. He tossed the men around like rag dolls and at one point I turned to see him bring his now claw-like fingernails arching upwards. The head of the man he’d hit was bent back at a sickening angle, he was dead there was no question but Tuck didn’t even stop to spare a thought for the man. Seeing one of their comrades killed in front of them seemed to get the attention of the entire group of them. I hated to admit it but it was exactly the distraction we needed.
As we ran past the chaos of the fight I heard a mix of screams of agony and determination. At one point one of the men’s broken bodies flew over the four of us and hit the ground with a wet crunch that sent a shiver down my spine. We just kept running though, everyone following behind me because I looked like I had a plan. To be fair I did, it was just a bad plan, more of a feeling honestly. I thought if we could get into that hole Shaoni made we might find a way out, a real long shot but it was the best I could do right now.
By the time we reached the hole and I jumped in Tuck had thrown just about every one of Katrina’s men all over the little clearing we were in. Some where very clearly dead but some where rolling around and groaning. Katrina was still standing though, just before I fell deep enough into the hole I got a quick glance at her as she took aim at Tuck who seemed to finally be feeling all the punishment he’d been taking.
I didn’t even have time to scream a warning before my feet hit the hard rock below me and everyone else fell in on top of me.
“Sorry… sorry”
Bianca squeaked out as she pulled herself out of the pile of bodies we’d become. Frank, Stein, and Bianca seemed alright but my ankle was definitely sprained, badly.
“Can you walk on that?”
Bianca asked, examining my ankle in the strange blue light that emanated from further down the chamber we’d fallen into.
“Maybe? Here can I just lean on you?…. yeah, yeah that’ll work.”
I told her, using her to pull myself to my feet and leaning on her for support.
“What are we looking for Keith?”
Frank wondered out loud, a little fear creeping in to his voice as he looked around the chamber.
“I’m not actually sure, I was hoping we’d find Shaoni down here, maybe a tunnel out.”
I grunted out honestly, still reeling form the pain shooting up from my ankle.
“Wait where’s Tuck?”
“If he didn’t make it down we have to assume the worst. We can’t afford to wait now.”
Stein answered, quickly and professionally like someones life wasn’t at stake.
“He never had to come out here for me! We can at least wait for him, give him a chance-”
Stein cut me off
“None of us had to come here for you! We knew the risks so did Tuck. If we wait here now his sacrifice means nothing!”
Stein yelled at me. He was right, none of them needed to be out here but I still didn’t like leaving someone behind. As Frank and stein trudged forward Bianca and I hesitated a bit.
“I don’t want to leave him either but Stein’s right. Just lean on me and lets keep moving, we can come back later and look for his…”
Bianca trailed off before she could say body but I got the message, and if Bianca was moving forward I really didn’t have much of a choice.
We didn’t have to go far to find Shaoni, her usual deerskin clothing was ripped and stained with blood in places. All in all she didn’t look as bad as I thought she would. The light we saw at the entrance was coming from her tattoos as every one glowed brightly with blue light. The same light glowed faintly from four Thunderbird totems placed in the corners of the huge room.
“Welcome to my nest.”
Shaoni said with a dry chuckle, extending her arms out to her sides before immediately clasping them back over a wound in her side.
“Shaoni, are you… are you going to be alright.”
I asked, but before I could get any sort of answer I was interrupted by snarky laughter and a cocking gun.
“Well thanks for leading me right to where I wanted to be Keith.”
Katrina remarked as she walked into the room.
Bianca’s eyes glowed that all to familiar blue but Katrina was a step ahead of her.
“Yeah I wouldn’t try that if I were you. Sure you could force me to walk right out of here but it’s going to take a second to break me, longer than it would take me to pull this trigger.”
Katrina responded with a sneer, turning the gun on Bianca. Bianca jumped back like a scared cat. Ducking under my arm and putting all my weight back on my sprained ankle.
“Wait Don’t!… Argh!”
I cried out at her just before I fell to the ground.
“Ok, ok just… don’t.”
Bianca conceded, putting her hands up and backing away as the blue glow faded from her eyes. When he saw what Katrina was doing Frank wrestled Stein’s gun out of his hands and pointed it straight at Katrina, finger trembling on the trigger.
“Don’t you dare hurt her!”
Frank shouted, face turning red with fury.
“Well thats cute…”
And with an earsplitting bang Katrina turned and shot Frank in the leg. He fell to his knees, dropping the gun he’d been holding as Stein scrambled to hold him up.
“Don’t get in my way, don’t threaten me, and I won’t have to hurt anyone. Now Shaoni, where were we?”
Katrina cooed with murder in her voice as she took a step forward. I tried to pull myself up to my feet, only succeeding in making a pitiful cry as I fell back down again. Bianca flinched towards me but backed up fast when Katrina’s gaze shot her way.
“Keith, you’re still alive? I don’t know how you keep getting mixed into things but you’ve gotta learn when to just give up. I was supposed to kill all of you down there after the third trial. I gave you an out and you just stuck around. Tell you what though, you can still walk away cause I feel bad you got dragged into this in the first place. I have no idea what she was thinking, roping you into this with no idea about the supernatural at all.”
Katrina addressed me, pointing over at Shaoni after helping me to my feet. It hurt to stand but I was getting used to the pain.
“Above everything else I was supposed to kill the Thunderbird and thats what I’m going to do, after that you all can walk out of here.”
Katrina took slow steps toward Shaoni who simply glared at her. She didn’t try to run though, something told me she was ready, no matter how the next few minutes played out. But I had one more trick up my sleeve as I limped over, putting myself in between Shaoni and Katrina.
“She just wants out of all this Katrina! You have to know about where she came from, everything she’s been through!”
I yelled through gritted teeth, biting back the white hot pain shooting up from my ankle.
“I know enough It’s sad sure, but everyone’s got a sad story these days. She’s been flying around taking out whole towns to use as havens for people who want to follow this ass backwards sense of justice she’s got. I don’t want to become that person who’s hunting down supernaturals like her no questions asked just because I was ordered to. But in this case she’s responsible for hundreds of deaths. The “accidents” that happen in those towns are all her fault, and not all of them are as nice as Eagles Peak. The kind of people a town outside of any real form of government or law attracts aren’t the people you want to be neighbors with. She’s got to die Keith, so do you if your going to try and stop me.”
Katrina explained as she stalked closer to me. I really didn’t want to do what I knew I had to do next but I couldn’t watch anyone else die today.
“Alright, I guess there’s no other way then, Shaoni I’ll take on your burden.”
The whole room exploded into a chorus of “what” in varying degrees of shock but my mind was made up. I turned to Shaoni as she asked,
“Are you sure Keith?”
“Yes.”
Before anyone could recover from the shock of what I was about to do she reached out and grabbed my hands. I took hold of her’s and she said something in a language I couldn’t hope to understand as my vision went white.
When I could see again I was… somewhere else. Lightning flashed intermittently overhead and a grassy field extended out forever around me. In front of me stood a misty grey form of a bird it was huge, easily twice the size of the form I’d seen Shaoni take. Through its shifting misty form I could see Shaoni. The bird seemed to be talking to her but I couldn’t make anything out, I could only guess it was a Thunderbird spirit. It seemed to nod to Shaoni before it turned to me and stared me dead in the eyes. Its beak didn’t move, actually no part of it moved but I still heard its voice in my head as its eyes continued to boar into me.
“My chosen, Justice, claims she has lost her way, is this true?”
I couldn’t begin to describe how this voice sounded, powerful is the only word that came to mind. I didn’t feel like I was in any danger though, in fact I felt calmer than I ever had.
“She has.”
I got the sense that quick simple answers were probably best here.
“Justice spoke very highly of you. You offered to succeed her if she is to be believed.”
“I did, but how exactly do we-”
But I was cut off with a bow from the spirit who evaporated all around me. My vision blurred and everything went white again as I collapsed into the soft grass.
I came to on the floor next to Shaoni, it couldn’t have been that much later because neither of us had any new bullet holes in us.
“What did you just do?”
Katrina asked standing above me and looking absolutely stupefied.
“The Thunderbird is dead.”
Was my simple, potentially completely bullshit answer. Katrina looked from me to Shaoni and back again, eyes growing wide as the realization dawned on her.
“You know what? That works for me, just don’t cause us any trouble and we can just forget this whole thing ever happened. Oh, I like the new eyes by the way.”
With that Katrina walked off and climbed a rope ladder she had attached to the ground outside the hole we fell through.
Everything else that happened was a blur, we went back out and found pretty much all of Katrina’s men dead. Tuck was shot several times and barley breathing when Shaoni of all people found him. She called us over and Stein assured us he’d be alright if we got him back to the lab soon. We carried Tuck’s hairy form over to one of the SUV’s and raced back into town. On the way we drove past Katrina who’d also taken one of the SUV’s and was heading out of town. Bianca made a comment at some point that I looked different. When we got back to the house I looked in a mirror and saw my eyes where the same shade of grey Shaoni’s had been.
Speaking of Shaoni we took her with us, she followed us over to the car after she found Tuck. She looked a bit like a lost puppy at that point if I’m honest. I guess finally being able to live your life free of some strange sense of duty after hundreds of years will do that to you. Shaoni hasn’t actually said much since we settled back in at Bianca’s house. She eats and goes through the motions of normal life, she’ll even shoot you a warm smile if she catches you staring at her. I’m still not used to seeing her with green eyes though. I think she just feels lost but I’m ready to help show her the ins and outs of normal-ish life when she’s ready to ask for help.
Frank and Stein went back to doing their normal experimenting pretty fast. The whole thing past them by like a particularly eventful weekend. Even Frank’s bullet wound was quickly forgotten about. Pretty much as soon as he treated it it was like it never even happened to him. Tuck got back on his feet with a lot of help from Frank and Stein. He walks with a permanent limp now but other than that he’s fine. Richelle just about had a conniption when we told her what happened and she hasn’t left Tuck’s side since. She seemed surprised when we described his transformation and we came to find out he never told her about his, “Condition”. That may be why they’ve been so inseparable lately, she just wants to help him however she can and he sure isn’t complaining about that.
Tuck and Shaoni have been getting along as well. I never thought I’d see the day those two sat down and just talked but after a tense first few weeks they came to an understanding. They aren’t old friends now by any means but I’ve walked in on them both talking about their pasts. Maybe sharing stories helps them deal with living such long lives.
As for me and Bianca we started dating and thats been… well that’s been just great. I think its good for both of us cause after everything that happened at the old mine I was just a bundle of nerves. Having someone like her to talk to, someone who gets it, who’s seen so much worse helps put things in perspective. She finally has someone to really talk to in town too. Theres not a whole lot of trouble for us to get up to but we’ve started making a habit of pouring over Frank and Stein’s notes on the supernatural. Not the most riveting idea for a night in but I like learning more about whats really out there.
I still don’t feel any different after taking on Shaoni’s “burden”. Maybe that sense of duty she felt really was just all in her head, a promise to her people that she never let go. Honestly I haven’t tried to use whatever powers might come with my own condition. I just don’t feel like I need to. Like I told Katrina, the Thunderbird is dead. I’m sure not going to be the next Shaoni or anything like that but maybe It’ll help us find Brooke.
Thats the one thing that keeps Bianca and I up at night, we never found Brooke’s body. The two of us went up to the old mine a week or so after everything happened to look around for any sign of him but we didn’t find a trace. In fact the whole thing was cleaned up and the entrance to the mine was collapsed. I’m willing to bet whoever Katrina works for came back to try and wipe away any traces they may have left here. Maybe they found Brooke out there and dealt with him themselves, maybe he’s still out there somewhere. But for now everything’s been pretty calm, even normal around here.
Rocco is still a menace, Tuck still leaves the Eagle’s Roost door unlocked at all hours of the day, and theres still next to no people living here. Without Shaoni and her trials looming over me life is actually pretty good here. So that’s my story, how a storm and a huge bird dragged me halfway across the country and I started dating a succubus…right after I became the Thunderbird. It still seems crazy when I say it like that. Maybe I’ll dig up something on Brooke but for now I think I’ve finally found my new normal out here in the curiously named town with no Eagles and no Peaks.

I have had 25-30MMD November-February and 17-18MMD March-May (when I started propranolol). I was taking 18+ triptans monthly this entire period.
I was episodic before this period of time.
I began getting terrified of MOH so I cut down to 11 triptans per 30days for 60 days and my doctor said she was “sure I was still getting MOH” with that frequency so now I’m mad at Triptans and seeing if i can get back to episodic if I detox from Triptans.
My doctor said, “everyone’s different, could be 7-14days.” So I am going for 14 days and I’m on day 9!!
Before this, I hadn’t gone more than 3 days without taking a Triptan. And before I managed more responsibly, I hadn’t gone more than 24-36hrs without taking triptans.
I’m also restricting ibuprofen. I started significantly reducing my ibuprofen intake when I learned about MOH but still took it 17 days last week (I did sprain my ankle too).
Now I’m trying to take 8 days a month. (I have taken it 3 times in 9 days but only 400mg once each of those days).
More info for anyone who wants it: I (F30) have a migraine (episodic 1-3 a month for 17 years) & a seizure disorder (I have average 1 (partial lobe) seizure per every 2 years). (I’m unaware of how this is connected but I bet they are because I have seizures related to my periods and have migraines related to my period. My last seizure I had during a 10 day migraine when I got a toradol shot). I have an upcoming apointment with a new headache specialist neurologist and this will be discussed. I have ASD and ADHD and CPTSD.
November was when I had to go to court to renew my domestic violence protection order (3rd year) against my ex husband (and father of my children). It is stressful to confront your abuser in the court of law and hope judgment by an old white man will “protect” you.
I thought the migraines would dissipate after court ended in March but they didn’t. I’m worried I permanently damaged my migraine disorder by mis-managing triptans.
My migraines (around 24years old) became intractable- always 3 days.
At first (during this recent timeline), doc said that I was having week long migraines because I was waiting too long to take triptans.
So then I took them at aura, everytime.
Then I was told about MOH so I took at aura but only if I havnt already for the last 2-3 days (avoided 3 (and absolutely avoided 4) days in a row).
Ubrelvy worked for 2 weeks and then stoped working. Took suma 50, suma 100, suma 200, rizo 10, rizo 20, ubrelvy 100, and finally sumatriptan shots worked best to actually abort and not just alleviate.
I got on propranolol (detailed post in my profile). Worked really well, love it- but I still was having 17+ MMD.
I started magnesium glycinate last Thursday and felt a visceral cut of my low grade constant pain. I have been waking up with migraines or headaches 5/7 days a week for the last few months.
I had my first level 9 migraine during detox yesterday (day 8) and took ubrelvy 200 and 550mg magnesium, 400mg ibuprofen and .5mg Ativan and lots of chronic and slept mostly through the night (I have a 3&5yo). It broke!
But anyway I’m just proud of being on day 9. I’m still in chronic pain but I am hoping this eventually helps in the long run.

Previous
So, if you’re just joining us, I work at a haunted zoo now. Since I’ve gotten some rest, it feels like I’ve got my head on straight, at least, so I’d like to continue where I left off.
I sat on the floor in the office after meeting the ghost until I’d settled my rattled mind (and realized I’d forgotten to ask her name, how rude is that?). I took a deep breath and got up off the floor. Walking over and falling into the rolling chair in front of the large screen of camera views, when I brought up the camera that covered the area in which I’d spotted her, she was still there, and it seemed she hadn’t moved an inch.
Sitting there, at a loss, I continued to watch her. The ghost hung around for another five minutes or so, appearing to look at a few things off-screen, though I’m not sure what. Then she walked off into the forest and left the view of the cameras. I wasn’t sure if she vanished into the ether or if she’d gone looking into the trees to look for something.
But that wasn’t the end of the job interview, so let me jump back there. It continued into what kind of animals the zoo had, with Andrew asking me how much experience I had with dangerous animals.
I took a moment to consider the question. “So, ah…I’ve been going hunting and fishing with a neighbor since I was sixteen,” I told him. “We always have to keep an eye out for gators, bears, and hogs. Then there’s snakes, of course…snapping turtles… Since I’ve lived here my whole life and been aiming for a job with wildlife for a long time, I know a lot about the animals in Arkansas in general. But good advice for all of the above is avoid them, so I’ve had encounters, but I don’t know if you’d say I have experience with them.”
“That’s fine,” Andrew said, nodding. “That’s an answer I’m satisfied with. Now, the ghost was the appetizer, Ripley; here’s the main course. To start with, the pay isn’t twenty-five an hour. It’s fifty.”
Staring in shock for a moment, I asked, “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. But that’d be weird to post online considering what applicants think we need, so I halved it.”
“That’s… Okay, why?”
“The animals are already here. You just can’t see them.”
I stared at him for a long moment, some disbelief worming its way into my expression, before saying, “Sorry, what?”
“There’s a chance you’d naturally never see them, or at least some of them,” he continued casually. “It depends on both your genetics and how long you stay on the job. I can naturally see six of them, but that’s it. Suzanne can see all of them, and more. Some are what people would label demons or ghosts. Or magic. Mostly you’d call them cryptids. The ghost was just a warm-up; I mentioned her first because it never takes more than a week to see her if you work the night shift. If you manage to handle her okay, soon you’ll be able to see the animals too. The more time you spend on the grounds, for weird reasons,” he said, wiggling his fingers in the direction of the back door, “the more you’ll be able to see.”
“So, this…this is a zoo for cryptids,” I echoed slowly. He nodded once, waiting to find out what kind of reaction I would have. I gestured vaguely around the room. “If this is a hidden camera show, will you cut me a check for showing up and participating?”
Andrew coughed out a chuckle and shook his head. “No joke. There are a ton of stories out there that have been written to death, pulverized until they’re not the Grimm stories of old and instead they’re Disney films. A lot of those stories come from what some humans have seen. There are dozens of other worlds pressed up against ours, and occasionally things come through by accident. If they’re smart, they’ll lay low and then make their way back when they can. If not, they become local folklore until someone helps them back. I’m just from London, but Suzanne is from somewhere else. She hires people like us for this zoo. Humans.”
Sighing, I shook my head. “That makes no sense. Why would she hire a muggle for a magic zoo?”
Andrew burst out laughing at that, and then waited to gather himself before he continued. “Fair point, but this is less about magic and more about animals, and you’re missing some information that will explain it. First of all, if I misjudge an employee, and they think they can make bank by outing the endangered and valuable animals we have, it’s easy to relocate the zoo.”
“Because magic?” I asked.
“Exactly,” he replied, ignoring the thread of skepticism in my tone. “That means it isn’t the end of the world if that happened, though it is a pain in the arse. But second…let me ask you a question. Speaking of reality shows, say the Discovery Channel put out a call to replace Steve Irwin when he passed. Imagine they had a line out the door,” he said with a gesture, “of people who thought they had the skill and natural talent to replace him, to take on everything he’d been doing his whole life. How many do you reckon would lose an arm, a leg, or their life, by the end of the day?”
My lips parted in surprise and I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re saying people from…wherever…they’re just as dumb as humans, but they’re worse, because they actually think they can handle these things.”
Andrew pointed the pen at me. “Things. Exactly. You called them things. Suzanne and her friends grew up with them and would call them animals. These animals have dispositions and temperaments that we’ve studied for as long as there have been scientists. Where Suzanne’s from, they know the weaknesses of these animals, and also they’re in enclosures here, even if you and I can’t see the walls because they’re invisible things called ‘wards’. If I hire someone who’s got magic on top of all that, they’ll have almost no instinctive fear.
“Everything here is nocturnal, and every one of them is a hunter. Some of these things? Humans see them and they pass out. Not that I want you passing out, but I need someone who is scared of these things, who knows to stay out of the enclosures no matter what. Not someone who thinks they can train them to do tricks, who gets close enough for them to grab a mouthful of hair and drown them. Once, we had a night shift manager injured, and once killed, because they didn’t take these animals seriously enough.”
Thinking back to the Sea World orca incident I knew he’d been referencing, I remembered wondering how someone at that level of her profession could be so careless as I watched the video on YouTube. It made sense when he explained it like that. I hesitated before mentally throwing my hands up and going all in. “So, why put this place here, then? If they’re endangered and also dangerous, why have a zoo at all instead of just a small reserve?”
He pursed his lips, looking disappointed in me. “Ripley. You know that already. You already said as much.”
Thinking back through our conversation, I said, “The rich humans who pay top dollar to see supernatural animals.”
“Not humans,” he told me. “But people, yes, and they are rich, and they’re making donations and spending their money on a ticket here because everything we have is endangered.”
“So…”
I just let my voice trail off and my mind started to drift. Andrew remained silent, letting me do so. There’s that thing people say, ‘I believe that you believe it,’ which is just a kinder way of saying, ‘Bullshit.’ Parents say it about closet monsters. Psychologists say it to people who say they’ve been abducted and probed by aliens. I wanted to say it to Andrew.
But I also wanted a job. If it meant working overnight at an empty zoo, that was fine. When it came down to it, especially when I took the tone of our conversation into account, this was a zoo specifically focused on preserving endangered ‘animals’, and it was allegedly doing important work. Also, if this turned out to be the real deal and I started seeing the animals, I would deal with it, just like I would deal with an enclosure that had a lion or tiger or gorilla. If it came with a ghost and invisible creatures, I really didn’t see what the difference was, if I couldn’t go in the enclosures either way.
On that note, I’d like you to imagine a kid who looks at a roller coaster, watching everyone screaming and grinning as they go up and down and all around and they’re like, ‘Heck, I could do that! That looks like a blast!’
Then they get on, the first drop hits, and they realize they’ve made a terrible mistake.
“All right,” I sighed. “I can’t say I’m going to turn down a job just because it’s going to be scary. Especially not one with this paycheck.”
Andrew smiled. “Awesome. There’s an adjustment process for anyone working here, similar to a dog that gets adopted, actually. I know the general guidelines of, ‘three days, three weeks, three months’ in terms of milestones, until they finally feel they’re where they’re supposed to be,” he told me, “and you can think of your time here along those lines. I really think you’re a great fit, and once you reach the milestone of working here for three months, I’ll officially consider you our new night shift guard. And I hope you’ll stay with us for many years.”
I nodded and smiled at the flattery of an employer wanting me to work a great job for them for a long time. I’d never had a dog, but those milestones were well-known among anyone who knew animals, especially dogs. The first three days, the dog is getting to know its new digs, exploring, and decompressing. At three weeks, they’ve gotten used to their environment and are starting to get comfortable with their surroundings and the routines of the humans they live with. By three months, they know the rules and follow them, they trust you, and they feel they are where they’re meant to be. I could only hope to be so lucky.
I saw the ghost two days ago and she has yet to make another appearance (for those who are curious, I asked, and her name is Leila), and I still hadn’t seen any animals. I did hear one, though, I feel compelled to note. A growling roar sounded from the lake on occasion, echoing across the vast zoo, sending a shiver down my spine. Whatever that animal was, it sounded gigantic.
Andrew said there was apparently a group that wanted to visit for a birthday and they were offering a huge donation, so he let me know they were making an exception and that this group would be walking through the park that night. That meant I’d be watching people watching animals that, as far as I could tell, weren’t there.
It was anticlimactic. Even the three people who came for the tour just looked like people, not like aliens or something eldritch from another dimension, and I stayed in the security office the whole time. Andrew was the one giving the tour. I watched them spend about five minutes at each enclosure, the hour or so that they were there passing without incident. It was clear that they were able to see all the animals, though, since they motioned excitedly at each enclosure and spoke to Andrew, who presumably answered any questions they had.
If they could see the animals, that was that. There was still that niggle in the back of my head, from my twenty-three years of life never encountering anything like ghosts or cryptids, telling me that this was ridiculous. Waiting for someone to knock on the door, a camera mounted on their shoulder, to tell me that it was a big joke and they wanted to see how long I’d play along. But from all I saw, this was a real place with real, invisible animals.
I do carry a taser and pepper spray in my capacity as a security guard. Though it isn’t for the animals, since they’re in the enclosures; they’re actually for the rare instance of a break-in. Andrew mentioned that it had happened several times it the past, someone trying to steal an animal in the hopes of selling it on the black market. They’d been successful before, but apparently my predecessor Roger was good at his job, and mostly they left in handcuffs.
I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge fan of confrontation, but my job was to call Andrew and then confront the person, not kick their ass. That’s what the police were for, or rather, the people Andrew would call in lieu of police in certain situations.
Fifty bucks an hour. That’s the key here.
Andrew hadn’t set up direct deposit, since he was sticking with a strategy of waiting to see if I’d continue to work there once I found out myself dealing with the animals (I’ve decided I am going to just call them animals). Instead, I got an old-fashioned check after my shift every Friday. The number on the first check was delightful. I went out that evening and had a big dinner at the local diner, order my most expensive favorites on the menu and a big slice of pie for dessert.
When it came to the paychecks in general, though, I had this weird feeling of not wanting to tell my dad and brother about the fact that it was actually $50/hr. I previously mentioned that my dad, his name’s Nathan if you’re curious, works at a local grocery store. Our town has a couple food franchises, but I think its size is just short of whatever threshold Walmart uses to decide where to open. He earns $14/hr. and that’s after the tiny raises he’s gotten over the past thirteen years.
That’s not to say he’d feel bad about not making as much as me. On the contrary, he would be ecstatic for me and really proud. But, like me, he’d be suspicious. That hourly rate was the biggest hint that this was more than just a private zoo for cryptids. And as soon as that fat check cleared without problems, my dad wouldn’t be satisfied with reassurances; he’d want to come visit the zoo and look around.
I’d told him it’s a private preservation with scheduled (expensive) visits only and that it had only eleven animals, so he’d been appeased by me brushing off the idea of a visit. Also, I took a few photos of my workplace; one of the security room, one of me sitting in my chair, one photo of the many screens I watched, and a selfie where I was feigning sleep out of boredom, slouched in my chair with my mouth open in a faux snore. That let him feel like he knew where I was and what I was doing, and that I was safe.
But if I told him I was making double what he thought, my father would practically order me to quit. No job was worth my safety, he’d tell me. I was quite of the opposite opinion, however, considering how crucial any and all conservation efforts were these days. Especially with the steep extinction levels due to humans competing with other animals for space, not to mention climate change. Working in any job that helped preserve species and keep ecosystems in balance, or put them back in balance, was so important.
Then again, my father would also point out something I had realized right away: the fact was that I was working with endangered species that were not from Earth. I wasn’t helping my planet. To be honest, though…that didn’t matter to me. Especially after that talk with Andrew about why he hired a human for this job, I figured whichever dimension these animals came from had the equivalent of us, razing forests to the ground, clouding the planet with pollution, and leaving the animals with no avenue of recourse when yet more land was taken from them.
I really do hope to keep working here for a long time, though, and not just because of the money. I can’t help it; I want to know what these things were, and I want to work with them, to do the job of a zookeeper. The same way you go up to the chain-link fence to get close to a carnivore on the other side who thinks you’d make a nice afternoon snack. You just want to be closer to them, to experience that incredible, daunting feeling of being in their presence.
Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t long before I got what I wanted.
The day after we had the tour go through, I was doing my sweep when I saw the ghost again. She was sitting on a small boulder in the same area I’d seen her the first time, looking identical, blood covering the front of her slashed shirt, the wounds visible underneath. I stopped and stood there for a moment before I decided to raise my hand in a small wave.
The young woman cocked her head at me and raised a hand in the air in an imitation of my gesture, her expression showing a bit of curiosity.
She was low-key, seemingly not concerned with my presence, looking at me as a novel phenomenon in her world. I wondered what that world consisted of. Was she always here, sometimes visible and sometimes not? Or did she have another world next to ours, in the ether, where she left everything in this world behind and floated in her disembodied form? Did she still feel emotions? Was that really curiosity on her face, or was I projecting? Did she feel happiness? Fear? Did she have the option of moving on, or was she stuck here?
Many questions that I might never get the answers to. And that was assuming Andrew knew the answers, since I’d never met Suzanne Cooper and he hadn’t even mentioned that possibility. This place was clearly her baby, but I’m sure running it was a lot of work. Plus, if she was rich enough to own it, she was rich enough to have other businesses and charities to run.
When it comes to the enclosures, they’re all wrapped by a barrier of some kind, though never one that seems adequate. There was not a single place with the ugly metal weavings of a chain-link fence, and no stretches of circular razor wire. Instead, there are nice fences. Black iron, or wrought steel fencing in a similar style to the one circling the perimeter of the zoo, just shorter and with different patterns. Or a spaced picket fence, the wood stained in some tone of brown, or a split two-rail fence. As if to say, ‘This is the border of your enclosure, but we’re just letting you know out of courtesy.’
When I started to pass enclosure number seven last night, a young woman’s voice spoke, “Hello.”
I startled, unaware that I hadn’t been alone. “Oh. Hi,” I said, staring at her standing a few yards in.
She had been next to a large tree and I hadn’t seen her. This enclosure was behind a picket fence, and she walked through the large area of wild grasses and flowers that stretched across the other side of the fence. There were fewer tall grasses closer to the fence, which I guessed was because it had been tromped down by her regular pacing along it when there were visitors, or if she wanted to see the various enclosures of the zoo. Her sudden appearance was a bit weird, considering I had been expecting to see a cryptid and instead I was looking at, it seemed, an attractive Asian woman.
She wore a black kimono, the soft silk robe draped gently over her body, with beautiful patterns of cherry blossoms, more so over her left side, and red and blue birds with their wings spread. A sash wrapped around her abdomen, she wore socks and sandals on her feet, and her hair was up in those rolls that gave volume to the style.
I was no expert on any fashion, much less that of another country, so I just assumed it was all traditional Japanese clothing. Most likely, the visitors who came liked to see a certain time-honored style and that’s what she stuck with. Or maybe she played on stereotypes. That would be amusing.
“I’m Yui. It’s nice to meet you,” she spoke, arriving at the border of the fence and holding out a hand for me to shake.
I’d been standing about three yards away from her, and I’ll be honest, muscle memory tried to kick in. But I only made it two steps, my hand starting to rise, before I froze, the hand falling limply at my side. “Nice to meet you, too,” I answered, my voice quiet.
Damn. I wonder how many times that honey trap works back where she comes from.
The pleasant look on her face faded, and she lowered her hand. “You won’t shake hands with me? Isn’t that rude?”
“I mean, I kind of like my hand where it is. You know, attached to me.”
Her demure smile widened into something more amused. “I would never do something so revolting.”
Looking her up and down, as if more visual information would give me more knowledge of what she was, I asked her, “What would you do?”
“I would be less wasteful,” she said softly.
A finger of ice trailed down my spine, and I had the sudden image in my head of her grabbing my outstretched hand in an iron grip and yanking me over the fence, leaving me to sprawl on the ground. Then killing and consuming me efficiently, without a single careless step, the same way humans slaughtered pigs, using everything from the hog but the squeal. I was struck with a shiver at the idea of her consuming everything from me but my screams.
Slowly, I took one step further down the path, then another. Just as I got to a walking pace, though, I realized the woman had started walking too, in the same direction. I’d have eventually gotten to the end of her enclosure and keep going, leaving her behind, but she spoke up. “Are you leaving?”
I came to a stop, meeting her gaze again. “My job is to walk the zoo every hour. Then I’ll get back to the security room and stay there until my next walk.”
“Have you met the others yet?”
I hesitated before saying, “Just Leila.”
She blinked languidly. “That means nobody welcomed you here.”
“Andrew did.”
She didn’t reply to that. Instead, she slowly started to lean forward, and I flinched backward a few steps further as I saw insect legs start curling out from her back.
No. Not insect. Arachnid.
The eight legs ended in small ‘paws’ with tiny claws, a layer of hairs covering the leg from top to bottom, like any typical tarantula. I took two more slow steps back and my mouth went dry as the jointed legs just kept lengthening, until they were large enough to lever her off the ground.
My gaze had been on the spider legs, but my heart skipped a beat as I realized her human legs had melded together and turned into a bulging abdomen. Her skin was shifting to a carapace, eventually all the way up to her shoulders and down her arms, her fingers elongating and her nails stretching to claws. From there down, her body was that of a pale tarantula with pedipalps the size of my arms and piercing fangs in her jaws that looked like they could take my head off.
There was a moment, my vision blurring, where I was worried that I might piss myself. The part of my brain that still had its humor intact in that moment told me that I should keep an emergency set of clothes in my car, or at the very least, start wearing Depends to work.
“I show you my true form,” she said softly, her voice now raspy like an eighty-year-old after a lifelong smoking habit. “Welcome to Suzanne Cooper’s zoo. The night shift guard for many years was Roger, before he retired and the zoo moved, and I miss him dearly. What should I call you?”
I choked on my words. There was no way my throat was going to cooperate enough for me to clearly get a sentence out. Instead, I realized my legs had taken control of the situation themselves, unsatisfied with my conscious brain’s decision to stand and stare, taking steps backward. I backed up a yard, then five yards, then ten.
My mind focused on the fact that spiders don’t waste anything, and pictured my demise. I’d be wrapped in a cocoon, killed, and made nice and mushy before she had me for dinner.
The whole time, my brain was a frenzied mess, my pupils were probably the size of dimes, and I was staring at that tiny, pathetic fence between her and me. There was so much adrenaline pumping through my body that I felt like my bones were vibrating. The fence was, to my eyes, the only thing between us. The only thing keeping her from tackling and killing me. My only hope was that she’d do it quickly.
But she didn’t move. As I absorbed her innocent, polite words, the look on her face was calm, and I wondered if this was typically the way a conversation went before she devoured her prey. I wondered how many people she’d eaten. Not humans, not people from Earth, but the ones from where she came from. The fact that she doesn’t scare the shit out of those people means they’re staggeringly dumber than humans.
Finally, I rounded a corner, both relieved at having her out of my sight and worried that she would take that moment to come find me. When she’d been within eyeshot, I had at least known where she was and could run in the other direction. But I didn’t hear the sound of faint footsteps moving rapidly toward me. All was quiet, in that deep, smothering way that only an empty business in the middle of the night in small town America could be.
My hands trembling, I barely paid attention to anything but the confirmation that my surroundings were free of the colossal spider as I finally got back to the door. Grabbing the handle and letting my eyes dart around for about ten seconds and my ears prick for the slightest sound, I finally swiped my key card across the pad and went inside, shutting the door behind me and engaging the backup deadbolt.
Maybe that was why they had decided on keycards. If I was running from something and panicking, using an actual key or inserting the card like at a hotel would keep me from getting to safety considering my hands were shaking enough to mix a margarita.
Walking over to my chair, I fell into it, letting my body flush itself of terror as I looked up at the cameras. There she was, still in arachnid form, exactly where I’d left her behind that rinky-dink fence, casually looking around and slowly pacing back and forth. I stared at her as my racing heart gradually slowed, and a minute or so later she turned on her eight legs and walked back into the trees.
Whatever invisible fences the enclosures have apparently work, which is nice, because I wasn’t keen on getting killed by one of the creatures here. And that’s what brings me here, spilling out everything that’s happened so far. Because nearly passing out from terror isn’t something I wanted to deal with at work, obviously, but I keep going over what she did in my head again and again, and I feel like I reacted like a child who spotted a wolf spider on their bed. I started to worry for my overactive sense of self-preservation, at least in my capacity as an employee here.
The spider didn’t even try to hurt me, and so I was feeling a bit foolish. Even annoyed, actually, at the fact that I’d freaked out so hard and took off instead of trying to engage in at least basic conversation. I got the sense that she wasn’t at human-level intelligence, but I was never going to be able to hold any level of conversation with an alligator.
Sure, she did mention that she wouldn’t be so crass as to yank off my hand because she’d rather just have my entire corpse, but wouldn’t a wolf do the same if it was hungry? Wouldn’t any carnivore? Actually, they probably would’ve been satisfied with one of my hands. The fear here was from the fact that she turned into a giant spider. If she’d turned into Clifford, I would’ve reacted the same way, if not better than, meeting Leila.
With that, I decided I’m staying on the job. Considering how frustrated I can get with foolish people, it’s a bit hypocritical, and I’m being a bit of an idiot. But…there are definitely wards keeping them in their enclosures. Also, I signed up for creatures for another dimension, whether or not I believed in them at the time, and I will not let encountering my first one in an objectively boring way be the reason I quit.
The money is a factor, I’ll grant you. Of course it is. And I can’t spend it if I’m dead, but all signs point to surviving as long as I don’t do anything dumb. Also, yes, I’ll admit there’s a not-so-little voice in the back of my head that’s desperate to know what else is here. I never thought I’d do something like this, but finding out these things are real, I honestly do want to learn more about them.
Still, though, I decided to call Andrew at the end of my shift to ask if the pepper spray and taser I carried worked on a certain spider, as well as the other animals I’d yet to meet.
Previous

Patch v0.18 just dropped and is pretty much the biggest patch to date. New character, new mode, new audio, adjustments to pretty much everything. While it's still fresh and we've not really got to sink our teeth into it yet, I'm wondering what features people still want added to the game.
Personally, the two main things I want are:
Custom matches Playing against bots is fine, but I want to be able to create custom matches where I can play against friends for the sake of practice, without having to need 10 people in a match. Maybe also have some difficulty settings for the bots, since their default settings seem pretty weak right now. Would also be great to have an option to turn off their AI altogether so they just sit in the base and you can play with your friends trying strategies out without worrying about the bots getting involved.
Custom Item Builds While it's important to build items based on the match, it could be cool to be able to create custom item builds on the main menu. For example, if you're predominantly an Offlane player, you might want to create an Anti-build for each offlane hero, such as an Anti-Grux item build. I think Auto-Buy should be implemented into this too. Imagine you're using your Anti-Grux item build, but then after you've made your first two items, you think that the other four won't work well in this particular match. What I'm thinking is that you could swap to another item build you've premade, and choose the point in the build you want auto-buy to start buying. So for example, I'd set it to the Anti-Grux build for the first two items, then swap to a stronger offense build, and choose it to start buying from this build's second item (so it skips item 1/6, and only buys items 2 to 5). It would also be cool if there was a place to be able to share your custom builds in-game, with which character it's for and the situation you'd use it in, then allow others to add these builds to their own item build list. This could help newer players especially, so that they don't have to rely on the recommended builds.
What are some of your ideas?

So I just finished Grievar's Blood, and it was a decent book. It seems like a lot of people. though, were giving it extremely high praise on Goodreads, and I came here to see if anyone who read it had the same issues with it I did. I want to preface this by saying I absolutely loved Combat Codes, and I enjoy the world that has been built up, as well as the characters. However, I don't feel like book 2 did them justice.
My first problem with the book, and my biggest complaint, is the split perspective. In book one, we really only saw two perspectives: Murray and Cego. I enjoyed both of their arcs and storylines, and I think his split perspective worked really well because he was only dividing the book between two characters. For a 450 page book, that's not too bad. But the problem in book 2 is that there were like 5 characters he split between. Cego, Silas, Sol, Memmnon, and Murray.
Now, don't get me wrong, I was ecstatic that Sol got her own story arc. It is unfortunately common in books for the female love interest to stop existing whenever it's not important to the main male character. So her having an entire arc away from Cego for stuff that was important to her is awesome. However... I really did not care for Memmnon's stuff or for Silas' stuff. I don't think you're supposed to like Silas, but I didn't even like reading about Silas.
But the quality of these arcs were not even the problem. Sol and Cego had good arcs, and Murray's was half decent, but like. The book was like 420 pages if you cut out the index and sneak peek stuff. Split that among as many characters as he did? I mean Cego really only had like 80 pages dedicated to him. Split perspective works in books like the Wheel of Time or Way of Kings because those books are so big that the characters you care about get hundreds of pages dedicated to them in each book. Hell, in the Way of Kings, each main character basically has their own entire book worth of pages. Like somewhere close to 350-450 pages each book.
I'm not saying that every other needs to write 1000+ page books. I've seen some smaller books where split perspective is done well... but I mean... split between two... MAYBE 3 characters. Like, Cego's ark ended 58% of the way through the book! You didn't see him for the ENTIRE second half of the book except for 3 pages at the end. It just didn't sit right with me. I wanted more Cego and more Sol.
My second problem with the book is it seems to struggle a lot with what genre it is. It is mostly Sci-Fi. I mean the setting is like 3,500 years AFTER the Grievar's started fighting for the Daimyo. That's a long time, and there was a lot of history before it. There is lots of technology. Flyers, Mechs, Guns, basically lightsabers. This is clearly Sci-Fi for the most part. However... it also throws in fantasy elements. The spectrals are not quite science. And in this book, he makes it even harder on us. It was already confusing when Cego's spectral was doing all that mystic bullshit and he was hearing Farmer's voice often, but in this book, Murray outright hallucinates Farmer. Except... what hallucination can superimpose its will on a mech suit?
Fantasy novels need explanation for mystical shit. Usually you get tidbits through folk lore, children's songs, etc. Good world building gives you a general idea of how the common people see this stuff. However, in this book... nobody knows what's happening? What's happening is so new to the world that there ARE no stories. Things kept happening with no explanation and the in-world reason is because there is no explanation. It is fine to keep reader's slightly uninformed, but like... the book ended and nothing was explained. I was left completely confused. Not guessing, confused. There's nothing for me to guess. There were no hints. We have 3 important characters who claim to hear or see things that aren't there. Silas, Cego, and Murray. And none of that is explained at all, and it won't be until book 3 comes out. I don't know, but that just does not sit right with me.
Let me know if I'm missing things or perhaps didn't take the book the way it's meant to be. I might not have been the right audience for this book. The thing is, I've read a lot of fantasy. Combat Codes had a lot of things I liked. It was a fun mixture of Red Rising, Rage of Dragons, and Lightbringer. But a lot of the things I enjoyed from book one (the fighting, the characters, and the romance) were completely missing in book 2. There was less fighting, Sol and Cego actually spent more time reminiscing about the characters we love than we actually saw them interacting with the characters we love, and Sol and Cego were separated so the romance didn't progress.

Hello together, Since i need to get this stuff out of my mind i thought of posting my full story about my past Relationship with a Girl with BPD.
About me
24M we we're together for 2,5 years. Parents divorced when i was 8, after that our Home was never rly a Family again. Have 2 Sisters but no strong Bond to them. She was my first real girlfriend and definetly is my first true Love (6th class i had a "gf" for 8~weeks that started while she was in a relationship that she ended for me). I was a virgin before her, and only kissed my "first GF" before no other Woman. I also Had very little contact to woman and didnt knew anything rly about them (how they behave/whats normal/whats not) at all after i started to work at 16. I have a strong protective Instinct for Woman and i am Overall very caring and nice Person.
About her
25F, 4 Boyfriends before me (8months/3months/3years/10months) she cheated on the second with the first and Kissed a Guy at the end of the 3year one. Parents divorced at age 13. Very rough childhood. Father a narcisst, mother made her feel Like she never wanted her. She has a older sister but the Bond isnt strong. One of her other Family members and His wife&children kinda became her Foster Family, she Sees them more as parents, and These are her Trust persons. Now diagnosed with BPD, Depression,ptsd
This will probably be a longer Story so i put it in parts.
First Meeting
The first time i met her was at a small Party at a friends house, one of my friends girlfriend knew her and warned me about her. She went through a breakup phase at the moment and they knew that she had Tinder at the moment and had slept with some Guys. This night she was flirting with someone Out of my town which later resulted in them becoming a couple.
Her Last relationship before me It lasted about 10months. It was her 4th, and the Guy never Had a Longtime relationship but a like 3/4shorter ones <1year. Since they belonged to the same friendcircle as me i noticed alot about it. It was destined to fail. He was on worktrips Monday-Friday (Army) so they only rly met in the weekends. They argued very much even in the beginning. U could see that neither of them we're rly happy in it. Personaly i dont rly like this guy since i dont like his charakter and the way he behaves sometimes.
How it started
At the end of her last relationship they moved together to my town (her ex also lived there) and they we're always at the same smaller meetups/partys as i was (only our friendcircle) with like 5-8ppl at most. One night He left earlier and she wanted to stay. This night she got a message from her father that she is not her daughter anymore since she moved out of her old apartment where he was the landlord. Due to coincidence i wanted to Go to toilet and saw her crying down the street, went to her and comforted and hugged her. Next days she thanked me for taking the time via wa(WhatsApp). The next week again there was a Party and again her Bf left earlier and she stayed. This time we we're the Last people and host closed it, WE then talked for about 3hours about her situation with her Family/ dad since i could understand it, her BF at the time Not. Also i hugged her from time to time when she was crying. Next week also the same, she stayed Bf left and she touched my Leg and Rubbed her feet against mine after he left, we also talked alot that night again after Party was closed. Couple days later she thanked me and said her Bf doesnt understand her, doesnt Take time for her problems, i Just wanted to help her and make her feel better, No romantic interest at that Point. Due to her issues we then went to for a Walk nearly everyday in the night to Talk about it. On the first Walk she literally told me about anything (Family&Friends/past relationship/ her Sex Life, with how many Guys she slept (8 at the time) and her Tinder Phase i got told about before (8 at the time)and that she isnt sexually satisfied in her relationship and never was before-outside of a ONS when she was single) All this caught me offguard since i was Virgin and never had a girl spoke to me about such things. Later we went to her place and talked more, i noticed her make me compliments all the time but i Just kinda ignored it. She then Fell asleep on my lap and i waked her Up after 10min and went home. We then went to meetup to Walk nearly everyday at the weekdays, and we fell in Love during that. But she Lied to her Bf Sometime(Not everytime) this went for Like 2/3weeks. After some time she told me she wants to leave her Bf and we cuddled Sometimes a little bit but no touching private parts more Like leaning against another (i then didnt realised that we we're cuddling). We also talked about a Future together and how we build a House and have Kids and stuff. I didnt feel Bad since her Bf treated her very poorly and never was caring or Loving for her. She then left him, and couple days later we Kissed and i was Always at her place but so that No one can notice (but people realised there is Something Off and that there something between us). During relationship she then told me that she wouldve betrayed her ex with me if i took the signals right (Like i noticed) but to my bad i didnt realised what that rly means.
The relationship
Finally i had a gf i couldnt believe it. But we kept it Hidden for 3months~ then Made it official, i then moved into her Apartment (she kept it) since i was living at parents since then. We never argued in the first 6months(!) it was just perfect. We had so much fun we enjoyed every minute and did Chat allday when Not together. I Had what i always thought what real love is. She was my best Friends and the only Person to ever give me this warm Feeling of being Loved&wanted&needed&cared for and i never trusted a Person Like her. Also the Sex did workout for her, i was the first Guy who cared for her wants and needs and she told me she never had this good Sex before and that she had her First orgasm (ngl i am also a bit over average in size but i only knew that once we bought condoms). Everything seemed Like it could Last forever she always talked about marriage, we talked about problems, we're always nice&Kind&Loving to each other and i thought well maybe i am one of the lucky people to find his wife at the first try. But after 6-8months the Sex life changed, it was still very good but only every 3-5weeks or when she was drunk (i have a high Libido). She told me before she has no high Sex Drive and had one year No Sex in the 3year relationship but that we have so few Sex now maybe a phase. So i thought ok i am Not Happy with it now but maybe it Changes and we still have Sex Sometimes and the Sex is still very good for both of us, i Made her like things before she didnt like (fingering) and we found Out some more Things she liked but has never tried/ the other did seemingly Not to her liking. But this Phase continued for the whole relationship, we never again had sex more often then every 3-5weeks outside for Like 3/4times. This put a big toll on me since for me it was very important, also she at some Point did Not Care for my needs and wouldnt do anything for me (only every 8-12weeks or so she would do give me a BJ or HJ) in bed only when she wanted Sex, also Sometimes she couldnt kiss me and tilted her head away, and often wanted it to end fast Out of nowhere. This was my only Problem and the reason i waited with marriage since every other aspect was rly fine. Only i was very Jealous since she chatted with some Guys (actually only friendship) and with on of our Friends He also came over in her want but WE only played cards or so, i asked her If there was Something but she said no and i trusted her. Also during the relationship she Always said she feared me leaving her and never would she leave me, and that she needs me in her life, that she was never so happy on all areas and that she doesnt understand how a Guy Like me who in her eyes is so perfect would Chose her.And how i always felt when Something was off and comforted her and how i am the most understanding amd empathic Person she ever met.And that she wants to marry me so bad, and that we together could conquer the world and do everything and clear every problem we have. This always gave me the confidence i needed in my life and i thought what should she wants from other Guys, she Had 4 Bad relationships and i am giving it my all so why think to much of it.
When BPD fully appeared / Breakup
Last OctobeNovember she started to have mental problems and went to weekly therapy. Thats when it all started. Her mental health became worse and worse, i tried everything i could, spoke with her all the time, tried to fix things tried to Bring Up solutions but nothing worked (Till the end of the relationship). But it only got worse. She Had suicidal thoughts, inner emtyness, started to distance herself from me, pushed me away. Didnt wanna spend time with me, wanted less and less to have physical interaction. Also in this time she talked A LOT to one of her Guy Friends who also Had Depression, and i mean a Lot. They chatted allday, Had Phone calls, and she hold her Phone away when i sat next to her when she chatted with him, but she told me i can Always See The Chat If i wanted to. They did never meetup tho, and i asked her If she Had feelings for him and she said now but that she Just wants to Talk to someone who isnt involved in her private life and i trusted that, but i was still very Jealous. Since why Not speak to me when she always could. When it was clear she has BPD she went into a 6week therapy to learn how to Deal with her suicidal thoughts etc. Later i realised where all Here Sometimes weird behavior (pushing me away/more Guy Friends/distancing/Moments where she would yell at me for no reason but 5minutes later came to say sry and her having problems to have Sex with because of the fear of emotion Connection and all the other stuff) came from since i informed myself alot about bpd. But before that we had alot of Talks how this should Work Out again since i felt she was falling for another Guy Just Like Back then with me, and i Said to her if we wont have more physical contact Like Kissing and Sex, that this wont Work Out in the longterm. But i always said i give u the time u need, i give u the time u want, together we can fix this youre never alone aslong as U have me. 1 Week later she said she Had lost feelings for me and that she wants to breakup and WE kinda did breakup there, but that she has no feelings for other and Just wants to go through this alone, but also that she constantly thinks about haveing Sexting and Sex with other Guys, Guys she has no feelings for, she can dump any Second, without having responsibilities, without the emotional Connection that was her Most important part. This was the moment i broke. I thought since she finally was satisfied she wouldnt want other Guys.. Never could i have a poly relationship. I only wanted her and i Made that clear the whole relationship even tho we Had a little Sex. I Said to her that i couldnt do this and she said she doesnt know If she rly wants it and so on. We talked for days about how to solve IT and what to do but came to the conclusion that she wants to put it ON ICE for a while,and that her Body and mind doesnt want to be touched from me but that she will install Dating apps soon... But also she changed her mind daily in nearly everything.. I thought that i broke the circle that i managed to Change he to make her feel better finally, since i was someone who gives everything for her, who Loves her for who she is, who Cares for her Like No other, she told me that she was never this satisfied, she never Had so good Sex, she never was this happy,she wanted Kids in her life but only with me she knew she want them, she said i am the right guy at the wrong time... Her Family Made clear that they want me to be her Future husband, all of them Loved me and her Friends too. During the therapy i visited her&brought her presents, Things to get her mind Off from the Situation, Pictures of us&her and her Friends&Family and everything was fine Like nothing happened. But when we chatted she didnt want to Chat, but on the Weekend we alone spent the whole time together, cuddled, but No Kissing or Sex. She Always said lets give it our all after the 6weeks and rly Work on it but i need time for me now and i respected it. But it all changed after 2 weeks she didnt want to me to visit or to Chat with me or to have Phone calls, but i knew she was on her phone the whole day.. But still she wanted to visit me in the weekends. In the 3rd week tho she said i comfort her when i am there but that she feels good without me and that the feelings are gone. Some Part of me died that moment. So we finally fully clearly broke up. We both cried alot and talked about it but there was No helping it.
After Breakup
We still have contact since her Cats& stuff is still at our Apartment, but she will get a new Apartment soon and the all of IT will be Out and i can start to fully heal. Also since we we're both active in the Association we Met Last Week, and she was crying all the time so i spoke to her, since i still Love her.. She told she wants to go back to therapy since she has again all time suicidal thoughts and does Cut herself now and in therapy/clinic she feels safe. I comforted and hugged her since she was crying all the time. I asked her how she feels and what therapy she will do in future and If she cheated on me during relationship she Said No and i asked If slept with other Guys after and she said yes.. 2 guys since and the first 1week after the breakup... And i asked If it felt good and she said that it felt very good and that she doesnt regret it.. I never felt so betrayed And Hurt i hoped that with all the Love she Had for me she could avoid doing that Just to feel good for 5minutes.. And that she did it to forget me. And she told me it since she cant lie to me and that she still has some feelings for me.. and that she Said that i know her better then she knows herself... I got so angry at that moment but Not at her at the Guy that it felt good with..(i dont know who He is and its better that way) But now i know that she will never have healthy relationship aslong as she doesnt get her Shit together, and Deals with her mental illness, she Said she wont have a relationship again aslong as she doesnt has it fixed and i Hope so for her. She Said herself she knows she will never find a Guy like me again and that she rly was never this happy in Life like with me and that never has a breakup Hurt her so much and that she never Had so strong feelings for someone and that she is very sorry it had to end this way and that she wished different but that she thanks for me for everything i have done for her.
Conclusion
I am absolutely broken my self confidence is at 0, but still i am not angry at her but very very disappointed that she gave It all Up. It was true Love from my Side and maybe to some degree from hers. BPD build Up and destroyed the relationship. But it was the best time of my and her Life. If she wouldnt have sleeped with other Guys DIRECTLY after breakup Things couldve ended differently but now i know that i will never be together or maybe even talk with the women i truly Loved with all my Heart, the Woman that Made me feel like No other, the Person i had so much fun with and could Talk about anything, the Woman with the sweetest Smile and the cutest laugh, but also the woman that didnt respect my boundaries and that Kills me. But i Said to her If she would do that its over, she did and didnt regret it. She will regret it one day i am 100% sure but then i will Not comeback. Its a shame what this illness does to people. Now i am left with a co dependency, the thought i can never Trust a Person this much or the words the say due to my Trust getting crushed once more, and the Feeling i can never Invest so much Love in a relationship again, and that i will just get the Same treatment. But still i am not a Bit angry at her funny isnt it.
Last words
To all of you out there who are living through the same shit, u have to think what you really want and what your boundaries are and set them clearly. I wish for u that it not has to end like in my Situation. Feel hugged 🫂! U are great people dont let your self confidence get crushed by them.