Cute signatures if you have a boyfriend

Sorry that this is so long.
Tldr: My boyfriend is extremely insecure about several topics and I'm afraid it'll destroy our relationship.
My (F21) boyfriend (M21) of a few weeks is very insecure and I have a feeling I am making it worse. When I first pursued him he actually accidentally rejected me due to insecurity because he couldn't imagine a woman like me would ever be interested in a man like him (so he thought I was making fun of him). I made it more clear that I really want him and now we're together but I know that he's feeling super insecure. When we kiss he oftentimes opens his eyes after and mutters something like "I can't believe you actually like me" or "I don't know what I've done to deserve you" and a few days ago I found him crying because according to him he doesn't deserve me and I'm apparently to good for him, which I don't get. I wanted him first. Still, I'm scared that this insecurity will destroy our relationship again and it's really not healthy at all so I want to help him get over it. I told him even though I like him no matter what that if he feels like he doesn't deserve me he can try to become a guy who he thinks he deserves me but I don't know if that was too harsh so I might have to try another approach .
From what I've gathered there are 4 main areas of insecurity for him. 1. Our social circles, 2. Our grades, 3. Our looks and 4. The romantic attention we get/our experience.

1. Our social circles: He is a pretty nerdy guy who is introverted to the point where I'm suspecting him to have social anxiety. He especially struggles talking to women. I'm pretty sure he was only able to talk to me since did most of the heavy lifting in terms of our early conversations and never stopped trying to get to know him. He has a small group of close-knit friends who he cares a lot about. They're like brothers which is really cute to me. The problem is that outside of that group of friends he is definitely less than popular, I think because he is socially awkward like that with a pretty peculiar sense of humour, which I like however.

My social life looks very different. I'm just as nerdy as him behind closed doors but since I had a pretty massive glow up people don't expect that from me. I'm fact outwardly I'm definitely someone in the popular crowd and I gotta admit- I got a pretty big social circle with four groups of friends, two of which are really close as well and I'm basically the centre of.
Whenever he and I are walking together and I have to greet someone again (which happens pretty often, especially on campus) he gets annoyed, especially when it's a guy. A little more than half of my group of friends are guys and I already made him aware that that's not gonna change since I've known most of them for years- still, he suspects almost every one of those to be interested in me which can be quite annoying. There have been some who confessed but that was before my boyfriend and I got together and I established clear boundaries with those. That's the first problem caused by insecurities.

1. grades and achievements: He is a smart man, a former gifted kid, It's a part of him that first caused me to be attracted to him, but the problem is- I as well was a gifted kid. We have lived very different lifes up to this point. He had a pretty relaxed upbringing while I spent my time growing up in debate competitions, dance competitions and participating in youth politics since my parents wanted to prime me for success. I think he has just always been the smart kid and at the beginning he was fully convinced that he was way smarter than me because I asked him to explain things to me since I like to hear him explain and he didn't think that someone like me would be able to have intelligent thoughts or something which he admitted was stupid of him and just based on stereotypes. Now that we spend pretty much every second day together he knows that I actually have a better GPA than him and that I'm according to him "more gifted than him" (which partially has to do with me being on the spectrum) he doesn't openly say it but I know it bothers him. As a formerly gifted kid myself I know how much it hurts when someone is better than you when the thing you were growing up was always just the 'smart kid'. He said that he wants to work harder so he can take care of me sometime in the future but knowing him I know that's only half of the story. Just like he started going to the gym more because at the beginning of our relationship I was stronger than him (Years of competitive dance, martial arts and just being a gym girl). He now is stronger than me again but he still talks about how emasculated he felt because of it.
   
2. Our looks: I was told I have pretty privilege and I got to admit myself - after my glow up I definitely felt how different people treat me now and I get quite a lot of attention now to the point where it's uncomfortable, especially since before my glow up I definitely wasn't as conventionally attractive and was also treated as such. I think my boyfriend looks good. He is cute. His lips are pretty and heart shaped and his eyeshape and lashes are to die for. He doesn't see that though. I know he's not everyone's cup of tea. I gathered so much when I told other people that we're dating but he's my cup of tea so that shouldn't matter. Even his friends teased him about his looks in comparison to mine when he told them and when he told me- I swear I was ready to explode. I try to give him compliments about his looks but he doesn't know how to accept them. He says I'm the only one who'll ever compliment him this way anyway so what's the point. My boyfriend says that when he first saw me he thought I was the most beautiful woman he's ever seen which is why he couldn't believe why I would keep on talking to him. I think being with me makes his insecurities about his looks worse because according to him an 'ugly guy' like him doesn't deserve a girl like me. I think that's bullshit. There is way more to a relationship than looks and I think he's cute and way too harsh on his looks.
   
3. Our romantic experience and the attention we get.
   

I am his first. The first girl he kissed, his first date, his first time holding hands, his first in general. He told me that before we met again he had given up on love- concluded that it wasn't happening for him and that after his parents passed on he should just follow them- and then I showed up again and made it obvious how much I wanted him. I feel so honoured to be his first but not getting any attention before me took a real toll on his self perception I think. He says that I'm the only woman he'll have in this lifetime though. That if I don't work out he'll give up on dating which worries me.
I am the exact opposite. Sure I wasn't in a relationship before him, I also was still a virgin and also never kissed anyone willingly but I get attention. I get asked for my number on the streets or in uni, I get asked on dates and I also went on dates before. I just never felt it. Where he feels like he doesn't get seen by women I feel like I only get seen as a piece of meat, as a love interest, a manic pixie dream girl or a sex object by men. I had so many bad experiences with that just being treated like a normal person by him (partially because he thought he didn't have a chance anyway) had me falling head over heels for him.
He feels insecure about the attention I get however, especially if it'd be men he perceives to be good-looking, successful or simply cool. He often mentions that apparently there were several guys in the friend group we met in that wanted to pursue me and he feels bad for them that he's the one who got me because he's just a 'bastard' in his own words. I think this is another one of the things that bothers him the most based on how often he mentions it. Whenever he finds out that a guy we know ever was interested in me I never hear the end of it. I even was asked for my number while he was right next to me and while in a conversation with him which is not only mad disrespectful but also made him really angry and caused his insecurities to skyrocket. I feel really sorry to make him insecure that way but I really can't control it. He also likes when I get really dressed up for dates and I like that too but whenever he sees the stares I get from men he seems to regret it.
All in all he seems to put me on a pedestal and seems to compare himself to not only me but also other men in my life though I don't want them. I only want him. He says it's suspicious how little is wrong with me, that I'm too good but that's not true. I'm possessive (which I'm working on), at least as competitive as him, all of the social skills he admires so much in me I trained myself to have since I'm pretty much lost in social situations. I can be quite clumsy and scatterbrained sometimes and when I get to talk about my special interests I won't stop for hours. I was training for discipline from a young age to the point where I sometimes don't sleep or eat enough to manage to do everything I planned. I am a perfectionist to an unhealthy degree and sometimes I feel like a robot who just has to function no matter what. I tried to show him, tell him all my flaws but no matter what he doesn't see them as flaws.
He for example sees all of the achievements, the medals my perfectionism brought me but not that I lost so much sleep and ate so little for extended periods of time when I was little that I just stopped growing.
I try to show him that I really like him. He is smart, witty, funny and even though he tries to hide it incredibly kind. He takes care of his friends, family and now me. I feel so safe around him and ...just like myself. I try to tell him that. I try to give him gifts, I try to spend as much time as possible with him and take care of him. Whenever he expresses his boundaries I try to comply (for example he dislikes when I show my cleavage when he isn't around so I stopped) but I feel like that's no use as long as that little voice in his head tells him that he's not enough and that he doesn't deserve me.
I just don't know what to do so that he finally sees himself the way I see him- a person who of course has flaws but is beautiful and kind and a person who deserves to be loved and I'm pretty sure I love.
Thank you for any advice. (And sorry for my English. English is actually my fourth language so I'm not as articulate in it as I would like)

This will be wordy and complicated so you may only wish to read it if you’ve found yourself as inexplicably captivated by this entire mess as I am. This is my current working theory, and I don’t claim that it’s entirely accurate or factual It’s just my theory and I am open to corrections, additions, or counter arguments. (No, I am not overly proud of how I know some of these things. I reactivated Instagram and rejoined Reddit after years of abstaining from social media just to further this little investigation/obsession. Hyperfixation is a real bitch sometimes.)
Taylor’s team would’ve been aware of her impending breakup with Joe and relationship with Matty Healy long before those things were public knowledge. With the Eras tour set to start up in March of 2023, her team would’ve been actively, aggressively plotting to address any potential negativity or fallout from the situation, especially with so much riding on this tour. Preemptive damage control would’ve been in absolute overdrive because of the timing of it all. Speaking of timing, the early months of 2023 were a big moment for Travis Kelce. The Kelce brothers were about to face off in the Super Bowl and the media was saturated with them. All the Kelces have mentioned the attention and opportunities they were receiving during that time, including Donna. Scott Swift is a huge football fan, especially of the Eagles, and he was already at least acquainted with or had a casual friendship with Andy Reid. It's very likely that Taylor "dating" Travis Kelce was Scott Swift’s idea. During my “research” on this entire situation, I’ve come across multiple remarks about Taylor’s team traveling to/having meetings in KC in March of 2023. I am guessing that Taylor was so in love with Matty that she put her foot down with her team (including Scott) and wouldn’t participate in their plans regarding Travis at that time. Instead, she likely insisted on the April 8^th announcement of the breakup with Joe and doubled down on her relationship with Matty, mouthing loving messages to him and making her speech on stage about how happy she was and how her life finally made sense, being seen with him repeatedly and allowing him to be seen carrying bags into her apartment, etc.
I don’t know if Taylor or her team anticipated exactly how bad the publicity surrounding Matty would be or how intensely negative the response would be from a very vocal portion of her fanbase. I feel like most of us know about the narratives that ramped up against Matty, the SpeakUpNow letter, Swifties threatening to sell their concert tickets, Matty and his people receiving death threats, just all the BAD MESS, so I won’t make this even longer by going too deep into it. I have no doubt Taylor and Matty were experiencing a ton of pressure and emotional whiplash during all of that, which ultimately led to a painful and traumatic breakup for them. And that brings us right back to the suspended Travis Kelce plan. Taylor had shows in KC on July 7^th and 8^th of 2023. A couple weeks after that we get the cute little story from Travis on his podcast about trying to give Taylor a friendship bracelet with his number on it at her show (I have never and will never believe that bs for a single moment, no matter what). According to them, they start hanging out shortly after that, which is likely true. Ryan Reynolds apparently started following Travis on Instagram in early August so that timing checks out. (I could go off into a whole thing about Travis Kelce and Patrick Mahomes joining Ryan in the F1 Alpine deal, but this is already just SO MUCH). Next thing you know, we get Taylor appearing at a Chiefs game on September 24^th and it’s on from there. According to some Chiefs players, Taylor had already attended a game or two unnoticed and unmentioned (supposedly in the owners’ suite) prior to that September 24^th game. That’s interesting to note because of all it implies, such as how much the Chiefs/Hunts may have had to do with this whole deal between Taylor and Travis or just how it was clearly a choice with big motivations behind it for her to be seen at that 9/24 game.
Everything then goes AS PLANNED AND ORCHESTRATED for a few months. The public is captivated by the Taylor and Travis showmance and not even thinking much about Joe Alwyn or Matty Healy or any of the negative publicity surrounding Taylor anymore, the Chiefs and the entire NFL are profiting enormously, the popularity of the New Heights podcast is skyrocketing and catching the attention of major networks, every member of the Kelce family and Travis’ inner circle sees their public profile rising and more and more opportunities coming their way, the Eras tour is a history making success and so is the movie, the Chiefs pull off another Super Bowl win…it’s just a glorious, fantastic time when the whole plan is coming together and everyone remotely involved or connected to Taylor and Travis is benefiting and profiting beyond their wildest dreams. During all of this, Taylor is obviously working on TTPD, and everything connected to it, but I guess no one on Taylor’s team is too concerned about that because it keeps her motivated and pacified and it’s only going to make them all even more money so everything is just great, great, great. BUT THEN Taylor shows up at the Grammys drunk, making an ass of herself and announces the release. Now everyone is maybe back to thinking and talking about Taylor and Joe a bit, but it’s still ok because at least they aren’t talking about Matty and the Taylor and Travis show is still getting tons of attention, Travis is getting acting opportunities, all the Kelces are still benefiting in various ways; it’s all still good.
Then TTPD is released, and everything starts to take a turn. People are still talking, but now it’s mostly about Taylor and Matty or about Taylor and Travis, but only about what a great boyfriend Travis is to Taylor and what a perfect couple they are and their hypothetical impending nuptials and future potential offspring, etc. It probably doesn’t help that it’s off-season and there are no Chiefs games where Travis can shine with his football skills to try to bring some of the spotlight back to anything other than him maybe being the future Mr. Taylor Swift. Despite what many Swifties theorize about Travis, I do not for one moment think that’s his aim in life. This man wants FAME. His own mother repeatedly states how much he loves being the center of attention. And sure, he gets a lot of attention right now, but I have a feeling this is not panning out to be what he was hoping for when he signed up for all of this. His podcast is doing great, but its enormous surge in popularity is largely due to Swifties tuning in, hoping to hear a mention of Taylor (yes, I know it was already a very popular podcast – we wouldn’t be here if Travis Kelce had been an unsuccessful nobody, obviously). Everywhere he goes, everything he does, it’s all about Taylor now. Even at KELCE Jam, he was inundated with questions about Taylor. That might not be an issue except this is a man who already had a very big ego and desire to be hyper famous before Taylor Swift entered the picture. It may have seemed like a golden opportunity initially, but I think reality may be setting in for Travis and Co. and this may not have been the best deal for them in the long run. But the Chiefs and the NFL are deep into it now as well and l bet Travis has pressures on him that I would not even want to imagine coming from that side.
Meanwhile we have Taylor out here messing up the plans again, sending secret messages and singing surprise songs to Matty Healy during her sold-out concert tour where she’s added an entire set to imitate Matty and heighten the speculation and discussion surrounding their big “cosmic, tortured romance.” I feel sure she’s still in love with Matty and is absolutely in contact with him. Logically, their friendships and professional circles are far too intertwined for me to believe they would not be in any form of contact throughout all of this. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they were already back together. I think it’s highly possible they’ve even been back together since shortly after their breakup last summer and that likely helped fuel the big push to launch the “relationship” between her and Travis the world. That’s another post for another time though and I still haven’t fully drawn my conclusions about that. Very long story short, I think they are all in a great big mess right now and things are taking a toll, and cracks are showing. I think this may all come crashing down around a lot of people very soon, but I’m betting Taylor Swift comes out on top no matter what somehow. Some people are just lucky like that.

[DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to be an accurate depiction of any form of mental illness]
It was an early morning in Gelen’s home when Tabula awoke. She yawned, stretched and looked at Gelen with loving eyes.
„AH! WHAT A GOOD MORNING!“
Tabula thought to herself.
THE CHART MUST GROW
‚he’s so cute~‘
‚mount him!‘
,You need more children!’
‚Find someone to have children with.‘
‚Why? Why? Why?‘
THE CHART MUST GROW
Her instincts responded
„Hmm~ I just wanna- wanna- hehehehehHAHAHAHAHAH!“
Tabula thought to herself, managing to restrain her mad laughter down into a slight giggle. She didn’t want to disturb her boyfriend after all.
‚BREED!‘
‚Find a different way‘
‚Free yourself‘
'Wake him up and mount him!’
THE CHART MUST GROW
Her instincts responded.
„Not yet. Soon, soon.“
She thought to herself
‚DO IT‘
’now’
’Never’
‚later!‘
‚Will he really be mad if we wake him right~'
THE CHART MUST GROW
Her instincts responded.
„No! Not yet!“
She thought to herself, trying to wrangle her instincts back into control.
‚DO IT!‘
’YES!’
’NO!’
‚maybe‘
‚JUST DO SOMETHING!'
Her instincts screamed back at her.
„Heh.Hehehe.Hehehehe.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!“
Tabula finally gave up and burst out into mad laughter, her instincts finally calming down. Sadly, this did exactly what she wanted to avoid. She had woken Gelen up.

My partner 39m and I 35f have been on and off in a relationship for 3 years. We just got back together after being split up for 6 months and everything was going well for a week and then I started to remember a part of his personality that really has been off putting and I hate.
He loves to constantly tease (making fun of me, immature behaviors etc) and acts immature in a way that he thinks it’s cute to say stuff like “I’ll give you $5 to go push that person off that dock”… like non stop in social settings. He acts like that little boy on the playground that teases girls he likes and snaps bra straps etc… He sees it as playfulness and jokes but in reality he is just annoying and comes off as a nuisance. He doesn’t stop despite me telling him no one else is laughing. I personally hate it and it makes him look like an immature jerk and nuisance. It makes me feel gross. I want a mature man that uses his words and actions to make the world a better place and makes people feel good when he’s around. Not an immature boy!
That’s a huge reason I hate it and it triggers me is because in the past he would choose to only act like this when I was introducing him to my friends or new important connections - and it would make it look like I have an annoying asshole boyfriend and my friends all hated him. People didn’t want him around, and people wouldn’t invite me or want to hire us for jobs. It pissed me off big time and was a huge reason we broke up before. And people saw him differently than he is to me in private and it our relationship . It looked like he’s a jerk to me and abused me when he really isn’t like this in private with me. It has ruined connections and opportunities. It has made my life difficult because I don’t feel I can bring him with me places and have him around my friends.
I’ve told him over and over and he just sees it as “jokes “ and “playfulness”, but it’s not. He is a really beautiful, deep, and intelligent man and I can’t figure out why he instead chooses to look like an immature annoying asshole and a nuisance to the world instead of the amazing man I see behind closed doors.
I know he does love me and is really sweet and amazing partner to me most if the time- but like I said- others don’t see it and it makes me look like a chump and that I’m making excuses for him. He is awesome in private with me, and an asshole in the outside world. It makes life hard and that I can’t trust him in social settings. And now I’m just annoyed. It’s not fun or playful anymore. I feel there are much more productive ways of playfulness.
How can I approach this best without causing a fight and looking like I’m super sensitive and can’t take jokes?
What are other ways of “playfulness” that aren’t put downs or derogatory or straight up annoying?
I see couples like Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively giving each other shit and it’s funny and you can see they are super confident with each other but something about my partner has rubbed me the wrong way.
Am I being overly sensitive? I may just be sensitive lately and need affirmations instead of “jokes”. I was criticized as a child a lot and was in an emotionally abusive relationship in the past, and I’m just not in the mood for teasing right now. and he knows this. I’ve been depressed and through a hard few months and I just want positivity and for my partner to help build me up. Is he being abusive by not stopping? Is teasing abuse?
How can I help him to redirect his need for playfulness and jokes into a more mature and accepted way? Something we both like? I like playfulness and joking- there’s just a limit and it seems like better ways to go about it that can still feel okay. Maybe balancing it? I’m tired of the fights it creates when I tell him to stop, and he expressed last night if he can’t be playful then we shouldn’t be in a relationship. But his jokes aren’t funny to anyone but him, everyone else is straight up annoyed.
I don’t want to break up over this but I really feel frustrated.
TLDR; Partner acts immature and disguised it as playfulness when it hurts and annoys others

I (24f) am tired. I’ve never actively pursued dating due to other priorities and decided to last year. I’ve been online dating for a year now, and I’ve always approached dating with the intentions of building a deep connection with someone. I believe that in order to do that, you have to be comfortable with a level of vulnerability, openness and honesty. I don’t play games, as soon as I realise I’m incompatible with someone - I don’t ghost them, I text them to end it. If I like them, I tell them. I don’t follow the “three day rule” for texting, if you text me - I text back when I’m free - and that’s spans from a minute to 4hours, but usually within a day. I plan cute dates, I follow through. I think i’m somewhat attractive, I get hit on at work often (service industry), people are shocked when I’ve told them I’ve never had a boyfriend, when it’s for “short-term fun” I don’t really struggle to find someone for the night. But I don’t want that, I want to build something with someone. Personality-wise, I don’t think I lack in that department either - I have maintained a lot of deep friendships local and overseas (I moved around a lot). I don’t think it’s my intelligence either, and I certainly don’t think I’m boring. Perhaps it’s my career, I just graduated from biology and I’m not-well established in it right now, but aren’t you supposed to grow with someone?
I don’t know what it is, is it my approach ? i approach dating like I do with making friends, I like to think I’m warm and funny and “woke”. If I feel like having sex with them, I do. But I make that decision by date two or three - is that too soon? Do I make it too easy? Should I make them chase? I don’t get it, that sounds manipulative and so tiring. I keep hearing about these rules and games from both my female and male friends and everyone else in between, and I just don’t get it. Why can’t you act on what you truly feel? Like where’s the genuineness anymore? I don’t think I fit well into this era of online dating anymore. Maybe I should have started earlier in my age when people were less jaded. I think I give up now. I don’t think i have any strength left to continue being authentic and genuine when dating. I’m feeling pretty burned out. Perhaps I should just embrace being single forever and adopt a cat or two haha. ha.

I don’t know if it’s exaggerated more from the media or isn’t as common anymore, but still.
The whole “how did the father feel when he first met his daughter’s boyfriend”, “you better not go near my daughter or else…”, “be careful of your dad’s reaction,” or the father having his shotgun or baseball bat ready to terrorize the guy, is NOT FUNNY, CUTE OR JUSTIFIED anymore!
If she’s in her teens or 20s+, leave her the fuck alone. Controlling her to that degree is intimidation, creepy and unacceptable. Intervene only if the guy treats her like shit or is a criminal. People like that shouldn’t even have kids, let alone daughters. Also, this wouldn’t bother me as much if fathers had that same mindset towards their sons as well, instead of saying “nice! You got laid; I’m proud of you!” I know it was hypocritical of me to say to have the same mindset, but you get the idea…
Honestly, this father scaring away the daughter’s boyfriend thing is incredibly outdated and should be left in the history books. We’re in 2024, for crying out loud, not 1914!
AND for the love of God, don’t give me any of the “because men are stronger than women”!

I don’t know what to do. I have tried absolutely everything.
So I’m a woman in my 30s who has a degree, a good enough job and all I do is work, come home, eat alone and loneliness is eating me up.
I have felt this way since I was 23 years old.
I don’t have a community of friends. I have around 3 fairly close people who were from different parts of my life (one an old job, one from high school, one from college) who I see now and then but there’s no intense, talk constantly, I can tell them anything kind of friendship, they are just people I can grab lunch with now and then months apart.
My dating life has been horrendous. I can’t even explain how bad. It makes me feel like I’m this disgusting rat. All 3 friends and family members plus random people I’ve known throughout my jobs and things have all commented on how strange it is that I don’t have a partner and how badly things go for me.
The people I have dated in my past have all treated me very similarly. As in, I’ve never had an amicable breakup that ended nicely. They’ve all left me feeling awful. Everyone has always been extremely blunt in telling me I’m basically not good enough. Some phrases I’ve heard were: “you make me feel like I want to get myself back” “I didn’t ever see a future with you and didn’t know why I didn’t tell you this before” “you’re boring” “I understand why your friends and family don’t bother with you” “I just don’t care about you” “
I don’t drink alcohol and all these people told me at the start it wasn’t a problem for them. But sooner or later they would comment on how nice it would be if I joined them for a wine out on the porch after work or be able to go to a cocktail bar. And they would pressure me into doing it despite my strong stance on just not enjoying it. It almost seemed like everyone I dated was a disguised alcoholic even though they weren’t because that was the topic of a lot of our arguments … even though I know they weren’t in their “normal life” but just with me alcohol seemed so important that I didn’t do it.
I always came away feeling awful. I have an array of hobbies and find myself interesting - care for animals, reading, hiking, nature, skiing, cycling, I draw, and also write stories - nobody was ever interested in reading any or caring.
Whenever I go out with friends their partners… care. It’s something I noticed a lot. They’d text or call and ask for updates. Even when I was in relationships this didn’t happen. I’ve never, EVER had a partner or boyfriend who cared about me. This is not normal and I’ve never felt loved.
Both of my parents aren’t here either and I have a weird relationship with my brother. He’s married with kids and we aren’t close. I’ve tried and again I feel “not enough”. He tells me he doesn’t WANT to go on vacations with me because I don’t drink and he likes to go to bars and sip wine at nice places and I’d just not be compatible with him on holiday. He therefore doesn’t ever ask to hang out with me in our own country.
I was only ever close with my mother and miss her so much it hurts. I don’t feel connected with anyone and feel my personality must be so awful that nobody wants me around.
I’ve travelled a lot and even lived in other countries and feel deflated. If I do something pretty cool or a nice achievement I can’t tell anyone. Sure, a couple of my friends might send a nice text but I have nobody to hug, kiss or hype me up. I come home to my empty apartment and just have my own thoughts.
Every date I go on recently is a reflection of my past. People just seem to be super interested in the start, as in.. I have no issues getting matches and getting a good conversation flowing, sometimes even up to three moths of dating but then it ends. The same patterns occur where they suddenly don’t want a serious thing and are gone.
I’m broken making these constant deep connections with strangers only to then feel like I never knew them at all.
Friends have told me in the past I am too nice and fall too hard and people can see this but I don’t get it.
I pour my heart and soul into connections I do make, am sweet and caring and it’s never enough for people. I’ve never ever felt anything was ever reciprocated.
Everyone around me has a marriage - a stable, grown adult marriage with house problems and real life stuff, kids or engagements, stuff like that. I want that so much. I want a person to share my life with. I am so tired of being alone and being on this age on apps and going through the same things feeling so unloved and unwanted.
I look around - and this is going to sound judgmental and I don’t mean to be. But I look around at others I knew from school and friends and things and even people who are either not very attractive or even people with horrific personalities (mean, screechy, drama central kind of people) have good loyal husbands and a fairly decent enough life.
I feel like I’ve witnessed multiple situations where people cheat, so awful things and still someone is FIGHTING for someone to stay, fighting for love, somebody is a staple in their life worth it.
For me that’s just exactly what I feel I don’t have. Nobody has ever fought for me. Never cared enough to even go into a serious, let’s live together, maybe get married situations. Nobody has ever made effort the way I do. I’m good looking enough, not the most sexy person in the room but get told I’m natural beauty, cute and stuff like that. I try and take care of myself. I have that “sweet shy gentle” type personality and everyone I meet tells me I have such a good heart and soul. I really do everything for people. So I don’t understand.
I’m terrified of this continuing and I’m exhausted. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. I’m absolutely broken with feeling like my whole life has been loss around me, in terms of death of my loved ones and also loss of people I’ve cared for and wanted something with, loss of friendships that were once more solid and now are casual, just loss of everything.
Like I said I’ve tried travelling, lived in other countries, joined so many hobby groups and clubs, the amount of nights I’ve sat at a random meet up of a social night with a soft drink and chatted and gave it my all for nothing to come of it is hard to remember, I’ve even reached out on social media to old friends from random hobbies and school and nothing comes of anything.
I don’t know what else to do. I enjoy my own company but I’m now at a point where it’s depressing me so much. I don’t want this to be my life. I want to go to theme parks with someone and feel alive. I want to book holidays with someone and get excited. I want to pack together and prepare their bags. I want to ask someone about their day. I want to share plans. I don’t want to just come home anymore and stare at a wall. Constantly see people thriving on social media. Have no family at important holidays. Nobody to celebrate things, I feel so empty and not even a part of society when I see the beach packed with people, gifts for sale in stores, etc. it’s not for me because I have no one.
I don’t know what else to do. If something cool happens in my day it didn’t really happen because I am literally by myself and have nobody who cares. I feel like other single people still have close friends or a mother or father who is interested, even a community of some sort. But I am literally alone.
Even when I do stuff with friends it’s only for an hour or two and I’ll get a taste of what a nice happy life is like, maybe an hour walking along a nice beach or a nice dinner somewhere with people around us then I’m back to being alone when they go back home to their husbands and have a cute night.
I cry everyday and don’t understand this. I’m so envious of people who have tons of people in their life. I never will have that even if I find a partner. But it just kills that even that part doesn’t exist. I can’t even explain how empty I feel. My birthday went by with one text message from one of my close friends and the other two sent one days later saying they forgot and had been busy. It’s like I don’t exist. And I’m terrified and don’t know what to do.

Hey all!
So the premise here is that a young couple are moving in together for the first time, and it's a brief look at their first evening and morning together. I've written it as a girlfriend as this is actually based on real events, but the listener can be anyone. Girlfriend can also be changed to boyfriend if preferable :)
Fine to monetize, just give me credit and link back here :) also, if anyone wants to fill this, awesome!!!
There is a mix of internal and external monologue here. Hope I've kept that clear in the text but, if not, please let me know!
Girlfriend
(knocking on the door)
Hello! Is anyone here? Oh, hi! Sorry I’m a bit late. Took ages to load up the car. Hmm? Sorry, I know you have other clients! Yeah, of course, I’m sure they’re on the way.
(internal, sarcastically)
Well, this estate agent seems lovely. Is she actually going to let me in?
(spoken)
Are we okay to wait inside? I think it’s going to rain. Thankyou…
(internal)
I still can’t believe we’re doing this! I hope I haven’t brought too much stuff. They said they’re barely bringing anything! Oh, this place looks a little dusty! Floor’s a bit messy! I’ll have to give it a clean. God, I hope they don’t lose patience with me. Their room at home always seems so tidy, but I know their mum is a bit of a clean freak too.
(spoken)
Sorry? Yeah, this is our first place together. We’ve been going out for three years and I just got a new job, so we figured why not? Renting for now, but hoping to buy a place in a year or two.
(internal)
If they don’t run a mile after living with me for a few weeks. I’m okay to live with, right? My housemates didn’t have an issue at [insert Uni or college, depending on location]. Oh god, what if…
(spoken)
Sorry, I’m here now. Oh yeah, I remember I really liked this kitchen! New oven, cool! Tell the landlord thanks! Yeah, I may as well start signing everything whilst we wait. I’m really sure they won’t be much longer.

The sound of knocking.

Girlfriend
(spoken)
Oh, that’ll be them now! Come up! We’re just in the kitchen. Hey!
(internal)
Ah man, I still get jittery when they smile at me like that! I still can’t believe we’re doing this. I know we spend all our weekends and most evenings together but it is going to be different, actually living together. We need to get a joint account set up, we’re going to need to go shopping ASAP – there’s literally nothing in! The internet people better turn up tomorrow! I’ve only got [speaker to insert their favourite show] boxsets for us to watch and I’m not sure that’s their thing…
(spoken)
Sorry, I was miles away. So we both sign here? Oh, rules? Okay?
(internal)
Gosh, do they think we’re going to be throwing mad parties every week? We’re not kids! Security deposit? We know this already! Ah, I shouldn’t be so harsh. She’s just doing her job. But does she have to act like we’re planning on burning the place down? Oh, one year’s tenancy? No early release? Eeesh, what if they don’t want to stay… oh wow, they signed really quickly!
(spoken)
Thankyou. I don’t think I have any questions. Do you?
(internal)
There’s that smile again. They look so excited! I hope they’re not as nervous as me. Oh, she’s leaving. Good.
(spoken)
Well, here we are. Just the two of us now. No… second thoughts? No, of course not! All my stuff’s outside, is yours? Shall we get it all in first and then think about where everything is going to go? Oh, your dad’s given us that TV? Fantastic! Think my laptop might be about to die!

Around half an hour later…

Girlfriend
(spoken, sounds out of breath)
Okay! Big pile of stuff. Least we got it in.
(internal)
How do they only have like three suitcases? I couldn’t even fit everything in my car!
(spoken)
I knew I shouldn’t have brought so many books! No idea where we’re going to put them. And the bathroom really is small! I know we said we didn’t mind, but…

Sound of a kiss.

Girlfriend
(spoken)
I love you too. Sorry, I’m overthinking things again. How are you feeling? I know! Still can’t quite believe we have our own place. We really needed it. I swear my dad was deliberately being annoying half the time. Always banging around downstairs! Shush, I’m not just like him! He’ll be okay. He’s got mum. I guess it must be weird with all your kids gone.
(internal)
Dad was so great about everything. Maybe I should have let him come help us move in, but I kind of wanted this to just be us.
(spoken)
Yeah, let’s take a proper look around.
(internal)
I need to chill. This place is really nice, especially for the price. I love the living room. Still can’t believe the sofa and chairs came with the flat. The sofa looks so comfortable. I can’t wait for us to snuggle up on there. They even left a little reading lamp in the corner! I hope they don’t mind if I want to just read some nights. They didn’t really seem to before, but now it’s just us all the time…
Ahhh, I wish the bathroom was bigger! The shower’s a bit ancient. I dunno if we’d both fit in… shit, now they can see me blushing, great! Let’s move out of here quickly!
Really good cupboard space for a small bedroom. I’ve got so many clothes though. I may need to use some of their space as well! Dad was right. I should have had a clear out before I came.
(spoken, laughing)
Don’t jump on the bed like that! Because it’s all tidy! Yeah, I know nobody’s coming round today, but… I am chilled! Wait, what? Okay, fine, I’ll try it out. Yeah, it is very comfy.
(internal)
They smell so good today. I love it when they wear this. I don’t even know what it is. Guess I’ll be seeing it in the bathroom, so I know what to get them for their birthday.

Sound of kissing.

Girlfriend
(spoken)
Are you happy we’ve done this?
(internal)
It’s weird how right this feels. I know it’s just the two of us here now, and I don’t feel nervous. This is just so cool.
(spoken)
What? Let you show me? How… oh….

Sound of kissing and giggling.

Girlfriend
(spoken)
Hey you. We have a lot of unpacking to… oh, you’re so mean.

More kissing.

Girlfriend
(internal)
I love it when they stroke my hair like this. Okay, pinning my hands above my head. That’s… new. Kinda like it though. It is so good that nobody can possibly disturb us. We can literally do anything we want to! Okay, my cheeks feel like they’re on fire. Typical.
(spoken)
Okay, we can, ohhh…
(internal)
I could get used to this.

The next morning…

Girlfriend
(internal)
What time is it? Must be getting late, it’s so bright in here. We need better curtains! This bed is so comfy though. I must have fallen asleep so quickly last night. Urgh, I’m so groggy in the morning. Wait, where are they? Can I hear noises in the kitchen? And what’s that smell? Oh, they must be cooking something. Bless them. I’m still so full from last night. It was so awesome to just have the night together in our own place! They’re getting better at cooking. I’ll need to make us something tonight.
I better get up soon. It’s just so warm in here. Ah, I need the bathroom. I still feel a bit awkward about that, but they’re so lovely about it. I’ll just sneak in now…
(spoken)
Oh hey! I thought you were in the kitchen. Oh, what you carrying? Wow, breakfast in bed! Thanks!

Sound of eating.

Girlfriend
(spoken)
Oh man, this is so good! When did you become a Michelin Chef? Your mum usually cooks for us!
(internal)
How do they look so awesome even though they’ve just woke up? I bet I look a right mess. Ah, there’s that smile again.
(spoken)
What? Haha, pull the other one. If there’s one thing I look like now, it isn’t beautiful. Have you seen my hair? Looks like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards. Okay, now you’re just teasing me! I guess I better get dressed in a sec. How long you been up? An hour? You’ve been trying to build the TV stand? How’s that gone? Oh…
(internal)
Bless them. They really aren’t very good at DIY. Good thing the landlord should take care of any repairs we need. My bookshelf should arrive today. Might be better to get Dad to come help us with that. If they’re not offended.
(spoken)
Okay, I am full! That was awesome though, thankyou! I’ll cook tonight. Unless you wanted to try that takeaway we saw round the corner… haha, you really know me so well.

Sound of kissing.

Girlfriend
(spoken)
Okay, I’ll jump in the shower then I’ll come and help you! There’s something I wanted to give you as well. I meant to last night but by the time we got everything unpacked I forgot! It’s in my bag, hold on, I’ll get it.
(internal)
They’re so cute. I can see them checking me out. Don’t know what’s so hot about these pyjamas. They’re like three years old and literally have super-heroes on them. Oh god, why did I wear… no, I can’t keep overthinking this stuff. Not if we’re going to live together.
(spoken)
Here it is! I got it custom made. Open it.

Sound of ripping paper.

Girlfriend
(spoken)
It’s that picture I took of you and Bounce a few years back. Remember, for one of our first dates you took me for a walk in the forest with her? We almost lost her when she tried to chase after a bird? I know you’re going to miss her living here, so I thought you’d like a picture of her. I’d say she could come round any time, but I don’t think we’re allowed pets.
(internal)
Ah man, I hope this is okay. They really love that dog and I know it was hard on them to leave them.
(spoken)
You love it? Of course, you’re welcome! I love you too.

Sound of kissing.

Girlfriend
(spoken)
You know I over think everything and I’m a little, well, full-on sometimes, but I just want you to know I’m so happy we’ve done this. I can’t wait for, well, everything! You mean the world to me, and I’m so happy you want to live with me.
(pause, then spoken)
Here’s to the next forever!

I’ve (F23) been dating my boyfriend (M24) for the past 4 years since college. He has many great qualities like he cleans our apartment regularly, he doesn’t hesitate to help when I ask, and he’s generally non-judgmental.
I feel comfortable being open and honest with him in many aspects, but I feel like he doesn’t reciprocate in that way. I thought he was originally, but occasionally when I explain something that bothers me, he would shut down or bring up his issues with me that’s been bothering him.
It’s incredibly frustrating that he chooses these moments to come forward because it feels like it makes the conversations focus on him when I’m trying to say something like “hey I felt hurt when you did X. And I’ve noticed it’s been a pattern.” Usually if it’s something that happens once, I let it go because it doesn’t matter in the end, but it’s been focused around planning dates and gift giving as of late. He only really gets around to doing either during birthdays, Christmas and Valentine’s day, which I appreciate, but I’d prefer a once a month thing. In terms of gifts, I dont mind if it’s not exorbitant- flowers, cute little trinkets, artsy/plant related items would suffice. I moreso just want to have a little thing as a demonstration that he’s thinking of me and WANTS do something for me.
We had a conversation about it 5-6 months ago and we agreed that I’ll give him the space to initiate, but it’s May and the last time anything even happened was Valentine’s Day.
We had a convo recently and he stated that it’s because he’s stressed and procrastinating because he felt like he’s messing it up bad, which is why nothing has happened. He also asked why I didn’t initiate as well, which I was upset by the idea because we talked about him initiating initially? He also said he WANTS to do these things but he’s struggling to find the right gift or figure out the right date set up and I’m just confused where this pressure is coming from because I just want anything at this point, which I have stated multiple times.
I don’t know- I’m sort of just tired of it and feel like he’s all talk and really only commits to these things when the relationship is in an emergency. He’s setting something up in a couple of weeks but I don’t even know how I feel about it right now. I spent a lot of energy convincing myself that I’m asking for a lot just to cope and even expressed it. He always says I’m not asking for a lot so why isn’t he doing anything?
Ultimately I asked him to go see a therapist because I can’t really help him if it’s a genuine internal issue. He had been really resistant for a couple years because I originally suggested it because he used to shut down for seemingly no reason for a whole day and when I asked he would say he’d have no idea, but with our recent convo, he said he’ll do it.
I don’t know I should be pretty happy that he’s finally listening to my suggestions, but I’ve been saying the same things for a while, and now that I’m here I just feel okay I guess. As I said he has a lot of good qualities- like he’s super reliable otherwise in everyday life, financially, and emotionally support if it’s unrelated to him, which is why I’ve been with him.
Am I asking for a lot? Am I communicating incorrectly in some way? Is this worth it? Am I too tolerant or intolerant? What’s y’all’s thoughts? Got any advice?

This is so stupid and super long. Sorry. But many years ago I knew a guy who went to the same college as me. We can call him Charlie. We became friends and eventually started sleeping together without romantic attachments or dating. We were just friends. But we were close. We hung out together, spoke about guys we liked or had a crush on, talked about our futures. I considered him "like my best friend" or 2nd best friend. Though our friendship was sexual, we weren't boyfriends.
We were in the same year and in the same class. There was a big project we had to write. That project consisted of multiple essays, 3 to 5 pages each, that must be related to each other somehow. I wrote my project on me. I wrote about my childhood, my dreams, I wrote about being gay. I poured my heart out and I was excited to share that with my professor. She was a mentor to me.
Charlie had the same class but a different professor. I shared my essays with Charlie to get his opinion and that's when he asked me if he could have one of them to use as his. He would rewrite it to make it about him and it would help him pass. He said I had more essays than I needed, so I wouldn't even have to write a new one. Charlie was really struggling in this class.
I told him no. It felt wrong. It was plagiarism, against the honor code, and we would fail the class and get suspended or expelled. I offered to help him write an outline for an essay using mine as a template but he said he didn't have time for that and it was due in a few days. I told him no.
He said okay, we studied/wrote half the night. He then stayed over and he initiated sex. When I woke up the next morning he was gone. I went to class and forgot all about Charlie asking for my essay
The next day I went to gather my essays for binding and one of them was missing. And I knew he took it. I kept calling his room, paging him, IM showed he was online so I kept messaging him. And he wouldn't answer.
I went to his dorm and pounded on his door. I heard him in his room but he wouldn't answer the door. I yelled through the door that I was printing another copy of my essay and was submitting it. And if he used it, I would narc. I also said I can't believe you would do this to me.
I left and did what I told him I would do. I turned in my project and spoke to the professor after class. I told her what had happened and she said maybe he wouldn't use it. But ill speak with his professor and if he uses your essay in his project then he will face the consequences.
The idiot used my essay. He barely changed anything in it. He initially didn't even change the name of one of my cousins but later did with a vastly different name.
He got caught and failed the course. He had to go to a hearing for plagiarism. I had to write a statement and I told the truth. In the end, Charlie did not get expelled, but he was suspended for the rest of the semester.
I tried to talk to him and he said I was dead to him and he never spoke to me again. I felt awful like I did something wrong. For awhile I thought I should have just given him the essay,
So back to now, I haven't thought of or about Charlie for years. I moved on made other friends and I had heard that Charlie transfered. It all came rushing back to me when I went to work last week and ran into Charlie.
I manage a barestaurant. I dont normally work Sundays. That day, my opening supervisor and the opening server called out so I was managing and serving. A male couple came in and sat down and I welcomed them in. They were such a cute couple. They were holding hands and sitting on the same side of the table. It made me very happy to see it. We had just quit serving brunch and one of them asked if it was too late. I tell them if they hurry they can still use the brunch menu. They said thank you and ordered. They told me they came every Sunday and asked where the server was. I said they weren't in today but I would tell the server their regulars came in. I then tell them my name and if they needed anything let me know and I would check on them soon.
As soon as i said my name, one of them repeats my name. And I nod and he says did you go to (my college). My first name is very unusual so I say yes, thinking to myself, "did I go to school with him?"
He then gets a weird angry smile and says something like "you don't remember me do you? I've spent a lot of time thinking what I would say to you if I ever saw you again."
It was strange and I couldn't place him. I say, "I'm sorry but I don't remember you. What's your name?" He yells "you ruin my life and you don't know my name?" His partner was trying to calm him down.
I was so confused. And then that's when I knew it was Charlie. I said his name and he said now you remember me?
I told him I'm sorry you feel that way but I didn't ruin your life. He said that when he was suspended, he lost a scholarship. Then his parents kicked him out and quit funding him for getting "kicked out for cheating." So when the suspension was over, he couldn't come back. He said he didn't finish college until he was almost 30. He then stood up and grabbed his partner's hand and then insulted me. He told me "youre not so high and mighty now? Are you WAITER". He said waiter with disdain and like it was something to be ashamed of.
l told him that was unnecessary and to stop yelling or he would be asked to leave. He said you were my boyfriend and you did that to me. I said I never was your boyfriend. You need to go.
He said they would never come back and that I owed him an apology. I lost my cool and said you deserved it. You stole my essay. You plagiarized. You didn't care about me at all. You would have let me get suspended too. I then told him to get out and we don't want or need his business. And then they left.
I've been thinking about it all week. l'm not sorry for reporting him back in school. But I'm wondering if l'm the asshole for not telling Charlie sorry. Especially since I'm not sorry but maybe hearing those words might have meant a lot to him. And at one time he did mean a lot to me. His face when he was screaming at me was scary. It was so filled with anger and rage over something that happened 20 years ago or so. And then I feel guilty for possibly leading him on all those years ago since he said I was his boyfriend and I didn't feel the same way. I thought he felt the same way I did but clearly I was wrong.
Sorry for this being so long.

I met my boyfriend(24 M) during college and we began dating this past December. Some background info on him is that he grew up in poverty in Myanmar, lived in Malaysia for a few years, then came to the U.S. on refugee status when he was 17. He is currently 24. When he came to the U.S. he did not know the language and of course it must have been a culture shock compared to what he was used to. (This background info is important for later) Things in the relationship have been going well. He treats me well, fiercely loyal, and checks all the boxes for an ideal partner except for one thing. He seems to lack common sense that a 24 year old should know. I'm open minded and maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's the fact he didn't grow up in the U.S. that keeps him from knowing things that I feel like he should. Here's some examples of things that seem like common sense to me, but he doesn't know. He didn't know energy drinks are bad for you. He bought me a baby first foods set for Valentines day. Yes you heard that right. I saw it in a store and said it looked so cute so he decided to get it for me for Valentines day complete with baby spoons and all, also he didn't know you have to schedule chiropractor appointments instead of just walking in. I also have to explain what many words mean. Which to a large extent, I don't mind. However, things like humor get lost in translation and I have to either use different word choice or explain things that are typically simple for other people to understand. I'm not trying to sound harsh or critical. However, when I imagine a life partner, I imagine someone who understands my word choice, humor, and occasional sarcasm. I've been practicing patience. He's eager to learn and maybe I should continue doing this and teaching him. But honestly, this issue has begun to really bother me. He's smart in other areas. He is amazing at the drums, working with his hands, math, soccer. But it seems like some basic knowledge and language barriers are some challenges. I chalked up him not understanding things to the language barrier but now I'm not so sure. I'm considering breaking up because I'm having difficulty seeing a successful future with him. Also, if I were told (for some hypothetical reason) that I had to marry him, I'm not sure that I'd be thrilled. Also, if I were to breakup, what in the world would I even tell him for the reason? There's no way I could be honest. I do not want to break his heart. He's too good and pure for that

Hey guys, sorry it's been a few days! I'm finishing up clearing from the Army and moving in with Matt simultaneously so life has been hectic to say the least.
A little more background on us for those that are wondering, he and I have been dating for over a year now at this point, so we have a lot of material I could share. We have grown together sexually over our time together, so obviously the stories will get hotter as we go. I've thought about skipping ahead to a few things, but have decided to just keep going sequentially unless I get a totally negative response.
In this chapter, we find ourselves a few weeks into our relationship, and beginning to branch out in our love of fun in public-ish places. This time...the beach(; I hope you all enjoy! Avery♡
Matt and I had just wrapped up a busy week at work...I was kinda frustrated that he was commenting on how I'm so tired in the evenings and I'm kinda just like "well no shit sir, you had us out working on trucks all day". Not to be mean but when you're my platoon leader, you know why I'm too tired for sex every night. But I digress. He made up for it.
Saturday rolls around, and after letting me sleep in probably a little too late, Matt gently wakes me up with soft kisses and a little bit of tickles from his weekend scruff from where he dosen't have to shave on weekends (totally cute in my opinion). He wakes me up and asks me if I'd like to go relax at the beach. Duh. Its summer, I'm stressed, I have a muscular boyfriend and at a beach I've got an excuse to oogle him all I want. Yes I'm in, let me get dressed.
It dawns on me that hey, I've got no suit here (his house not my barracks room), so I throw on some jean shorts and a sports bra and decide I'm just gonna have to grab a suit at one of the shore shacks when we get there.
Matt drives us to the beach and I tease him the whole way there, lightly running my finger tips along his thigh to see if I can get a reaction. He tries to play it cool, but the bulge in his trunks gives him away. Yeah, I know you like this teasing Matt(;
We roll up to one of the surf shops and i decide to go for the summer's latest trends, "one piece revival". I go with a bright orange, reasonably modest suit that rides up fairly high in the leg opening, accentuating the V where my thighs come together, highlighting in bright orange my barely covered self, scoops low enough in the armpit to give a little tasteful sideboob without screaming "slut", and has just enough of a smaller cut in the butt to show off some cheek without being a thong. I think it's hot. Matt's stunned face and tightening trunks seem to agree.
We spend the entire afternoon alternating between lounging in the sun, playing in the water, boogie boarding, and all around just having fun in a completely nonsexual manner. With the exception of the fact that he looks like a fucking sex god that I just need (and can't believe I'm dating).
As the sun starts to set, a band starts to play on the boardwalk, with a crowd gathering around to watch. I get an idea to use the opportunity, while everyone is focused on the band to slip away into the waves with Matt to try to be a little more adventurous.
The music grows more up beat as the sun goes fully down and I'm dancing on Matt about knee deep in the water, splashing around as I grind my butt against him to the beat, and bend forward to shake my firm little butt at him, giving him quite the view of everything this suit barely covers.
As I back Matt into deeper water, and press my butt against his crotch, his hands are running all over my body, turning me on. He squeezes my B cup breasts sand pulls me back close to him. I turn back and my lips find his as his hands rove lower, teasing me through the front of my suit.
At this point I'm wetter than the ocean. Is making me and I want more. I take his hand and slide it into the thigh hole of my suit and guide him into my slit. He begins to tease my clit as I reach back and stroke his hardening cock as the tempo of the party on the beach grows into a greater frenzy.
With his fingers now teasing their way inside me, and my head leaned back against his chest moaning slightly, I ask him if he'd have the courage to just do me right here and now if I let him. He responds by pushing his two fingers all the way inside me up to the knuckle and I beg for him to give me more.
He spins me around and pulls me into his arms. I wrap my legs around him as he walks us to deeper water so that just our head and shoulders are out of the water. I feel him reaching between my legs to push my suit to the side and he lowers me slight until the tip of his cock is pressed against my entrance.
I feel myself start to relax against his pressure as he kisses me, and my vagina welcomes him tightly in as I lower myself down his shaft, allowing him to fill me completely. He takes one of my buttcheeks in each of his hands and spreads me wide as he begins to rock me up and down his shaft. My suit digs into my butt and soon my cheeky onepiece has collected itself so that its stretched taught, barely covering my butthole.
I bury my face in his neck, kissing him and hopefully leaving my mark as he picks up speed, bouncing me up and down his cock to the beat of the music in an ever more enthusiastic pace. Hi thumb reaches between my legs and begins to circle my clit as my orgasm builds and I begin to clamp down on the rock hard cock, buried deep inside me, and I beg him to cum for me.
With his muscular arms that I love so much, he lifts me nearly off his shaft and then forces me all the way down to bottoming out in one massive thrust as I feel him explode inside me. He keeps himself all the way inside me, pressed almost to my cervix as I feel spurt after spurt erupting in me as he kisses me, and to the casual onlooker, it appears that we're just two lovers making out in the waves.
Beneath the surface, I lift off of him and he helps me adjust my suit to some semblance of modesty. I feel him start to leak of of me and down the inside of my leg. I don't even care as we get back to our stuff, and head back to the car in the dark. Public sex? Another first checked off the list.
Thank you again for all the feedback recently! I promise I won't make you wait as long for an update this time(: I love all the interaction with readers so keep the critiques coming! ♡Avery

Bit of a longer into, skip down 2 paragraphs if you want to jump straight to the story
First of all, thanks for all of the (mostly) positive feedback on my first story, you guys are the best!
A little more description on me, for my reviewers who requested to know more. I'm Avery, 5'4, have slightly bushy brown hair down to the middle of my back. I'm on the olive completion side (my mom is Greek). As I said before, ittybittytittiecommittee, B cup breasts and a firm butt that I tone with a lot of cycling in my spare time. And yes, i shave everywhere(;
Two days after my incredible first experience with my Platoon Leader, my 6'1, muscular hunk that we'll call Matt, things had been awkward. I couldn't help but hope that things would progress further, but at the same time, I was aware of the complications of continuing any relationship with him. At work, we continued as normal, he's my boss' boss, and I go back to my daily job as a truck driver (88M life). In the evenings, it's been another story. He's been texting me and I've been longing for more but super hesitant to go for anything, but my god, I want more of him.
After 2 days, its Friday night and he asks me over for dinner again. "Just dinner", and nothing else so we can hang out and figure things out. I get dressed, wearing a cute little floral romper that is practical yet fashionable, and hoping to avoid a repeat of having to borrow clothes again, I pack an overnight bag, just in case.
Matt welcomes me to his house, meeting me on the front porch just like last time, ever the gentleman. Butterflies right from the get go. Thanks Matt.
When I walk inside, I see that he's prepared a chicken alfredo with broccoli. Can't say I'm not impressed, this man must have really been listening when I told him about my favorite comfort foods while we were in the field!
Over dinner, we make it through small talk and he finally asks the elephant in the room, "what are we doing?" I stutter out some mumbled stuff about me messing with his career as I'm in my last few months, getting ready to get out, and how this probably isn't a good idea and then I flip the question on him, trying to stop myself from rambling my way into killing any chance I have with him. His response melts my heart, "I'm trying to convince a beautiful woman to take a chance on me these next few months until I can come out and tell the world, that's my girlfriend"
Did he just ask me to be his girlfriend??? Was not prepared for that one. My mind is spinning with every conceivable way this won't work and yet there he is, with a reassuring look in his smile that he's going to find a way. He leans across the table, takes my and and kisses it, before asking me to be his girlfriend.
I quickly sputter out something along the lines of a yes before he leans across the table, kisses my lips as he holds my cheek in his hand and I confirm my yes with a firm reply from my lips to his. We part after a few moments and he just sits there smiling at me like a goofball and i fall for him. G.I. Joe has a softer side. Its perfect.
After we finish eating he asks if he can give me a present as he is now my boyfriend. I oblige him of course and he leads me upstairs to his bedroom, where I find the room well lit with candles and smelling of violet. On the bed is a note that says "one free massage"
I see that he's definitely put a lot of planning into this whole asking me out thing, and I'm once again blown away by the man. I ask him what I should wear for my massage, and he replies with "panties only"
I smile slyly at him as I unbutton my romper and let it slide off my shoulders, across my braless chest, and down to the floor, leaving me in just a pale purple thong. I proudly record the look on his face as I can tell that he likes what he sees. I lay face down on the bed and I feel cool lotion being planted down my spine, causing a rush of sensation as he straddles me to rub my back.
He massages my shoulders, paying close attention to the knots he finds along the way, before working his way lower, to the tight muscles right at the base of my spine. His hands feel incredible as they firmly trace their way across my bare skin and I can feel from his "growth" as he straddles me, that I'm not the only one at least slightly turned on by his touch.
He works his way lower, massaging my firm butt cheeks and the backs of my thighs before I feel a finger brush between my legs, over the thin strip of now damp fabric that has buried itself between my cheeks. He knows what he's doing, he can feel my arousal, and it's not long before he's massaging my butt while slipping a finger under my thong to tease at my vagina.
After another minute or two, he rolls me over and kisses his way down my body to my thong, taking it in his teeth and pulling it down my legs before tossing it to the nightstand. He spreads my legs slightly and brings his head between them, lightly kissing the crease where my legs and pelvis meet, right along my bikini line. So close to where I want him and yet so far.
I take my hands and run them through his hair, guiding his head to taste me. He runs the tip of his tongue between the lips of my vagina and settles on my clit, making small quick circles on my swollen nub as i gasp and moan. He continues as i hold his head there, my hands gripping his hair and begging him not to stop. He inserts one and then a second finger inside me which only adds to the pleasure building from his tongue on my clit.
After a few minutes i can't take anymore, my center entering sensory overload, begging for a orgasm to break, but not quite going over the edge. I pull his face to mine and kiss him deeply, grasping his butt and pulling him inside me as his weight presses down on me. I taste myself on his lips and it is purely erotic.
He thrusts deep inside me as I wrap my legs around him, not letting go. He picks up speed and I beg him not to stop as my orgasm finally breaks and my inner walls grip tight against his shaft.
I feel him swelling even larger and I know he's nearing his own orgasm quickly after so much time devoted to foreplay. I ask him where he wants to cum, knowing that anywhere is acceptable to me. He says he doesn't want to break apart so I grasp his hips, urging him deeper as he finds his release deep inside me.
I am utterly spent and overwhelmed by my Matthew and his performance. He rolls off of me and lays next to me on his side, his head cradled against my shoulder. I feel him leaking out of me as he softly kisses my lips again and again until sleep overcomes us.
In the morning, I finally go back out to the car to grab my overnight bag, and get ready to go on an actual date that he has planned for us. The thong from the night before stay on his nightstand, something to keep as a souvenir (;
More details about our date and more in the next story. Thank you for all the feedback! For those of you wondering, I'm about to start my ETS leave, Matt and I are still dating, and these are true stories about how we've both broadened our horizons as a couple, both sexually, and in terms of growth as a couple. Feel free to message with more feedback, or drop something in the comments! ♡Avery

Bit of a longer into, skip down 2 paragraphs if you want to jump straight to the story
First of all, thanks for all of the (mostly) positive feedback on my first story, you guys are the best!
A little more description on me, for my reviewers who requested to know more. I'm Avery, 5'4, have slightly bushy brown hair down to the middle of my back. I'm on the olive completion side (my mom is Greek). As I said before, ittybittytittiecommittee, B cup breasts and a firm butt that I tone with a lot of cycling in my spare time. And yes, i shave everywhere(;
Two days after my incredible first experience with my Platoon Leader, my 6'1, muscular hunk that we'll call Matt, things had been awkward. I couldn't help but hope that things would progress further, but at the same time, I was aware of the complications of continuing any relationship with him. At work, we continued as normal, he's my boss' boss, and I go back to my daily job as a truck driver (88M life). In the evenings, it's been another story. He's been texting me and I've been longing for more but super hesitant to go for anything, but my god, I want more of him.
After 2 days, its Friday night and he asks me over for dinner again. "Just dinner", and nothing else so we can hang out and figure things out. I get dressed, wearing a cute little floral romper that is practical yet fashionable, and hoping to avoid a repeat of having to borrow clothes again, I pack an overnight bag, just in case.
Matt welcomes me to his house, meeting me on the front porch just like last time, ever the gentleman. Butterflies right from the get go. Thanks Matt.
When I walk inside, I see that he's prepared a chicken alfredo with broccoli. Can't say I'm not impressed, this man must have really been listening when I told him about my favorite comfort foods while we were in the field!
Over dinner, we make it through small talk and he finally asks the elephant in the room, "what are we doing?" I stutter out some mumbled stuff about me messing with his career as I'm in my last few months, getting ready to get out, and how this probably isn't a good idea and then I flip the question on him, trying to stop myself from rambling my way into killing any chance I have with him. His response melts my heart, "I'm trying to convince a beautiful woman to take a chance on me these next few months until I can come out and tell the world, that's my girlfriend"
Did he just ask me to be his girlfriend??? Was not prepared for that one. My mind is spinning with every conceivable way this won't work and yet there he is, with a reassuring look in his smile that he's going to find a way. He leans across the table, takes my and and kisses it, before asking me to be his girlfriend.
I quickly sputter out something along the lines of a yes before he leans across the table, kisses my lips as he holds my cheek in his hand and I confirm my yes with a firm reply from my lips to his. We part after a few moments and he just sits there smiling at me like a goofball and i fall for him. G.I. Joe has a softer side. Its perfect.
After we finish eating he asks if he can give me a present as he is now my boyfriend. I oblige him of course and he leads me upstairs to his bedroom, where I find the room well lit with candles and smelling of violet. On the bed is a note that says "one free massage"
I see that he's definitely put a lot of planning into this whole asking me out thing, and I'm once again blown away by the man. I ask him what I should wear for my massage, and he replies with "panties only"
I smile slyly at him as I unbutton my romper and let it slide off my shoulders, across my braless chest, and down to the floor, leaving me in just a pale purple thong. I proudly record the look on his face as I can tell that he likes what he sees. I lay face down on the bed and I feel cool lotion being planted down my spine, causing a rush of sensation as he straddles me to rub my back.
He massages my shoulders, paying close attention to the knots he finds along the way, before working his way lower, to the tight muscles right at the base of my spine. His hands feel incredible as they firmly trace their way across my bare skin and I can feel from his "growth" as he straddles me, that I'm not the only one at least slightly turned on by his touch.
He works his way lower, massaging my firm butt cheeks and the backs of my thighs before I feel a finger brush between my legs, over the thin strip of now damp fabric that has buried itself between my cheeks. He knows what he's doing, he can feel my arousal, and it's not long before he's massaging my butt while slipping a finger under my thong to tease at my vagina.
After another minute or two, he rolls me over and kisses his way down my body to my thong, taking it in his teeth and pulling it down my legs before tossing it to the nightstand. He spreads my legs slightly and brings his head between them, lightly kissing the crease where my legs and pelvis meet, right along my bikini line. So close to where I want him and yet so far.
I take my hands and run them through his hair, guiding his head to taste me. He runs the tip of his tongue between the lips of my vagina and settles on my clit, making small quick circles on my swollen nub as i gasp and moan. He continues as i hold his head there, my hands gripping his hair and begging him not to stop. He inserts one and then a second finger inside me which only adds to the pleasure building from his tongue on my clit.
After a few minutes i can't take anymore, my center entering sensory overload, begging for a orgasm to break, but not quite going over the edge. I pull his face to mine and kiss him deeply, grasping his butt and pulling him inside me as his weight presses down on me. I taste myself on his lips and it is purely erotic.
He thrusts deep inside me as I wrap my legs around him, not letting go. He picks up speed and I beg him not to stop as my orgasm finally breaks and my inner walls grip tight against his shaft.
I feel him swelling even larger and I know he's nearing his own orgasm quickly after so much time devoted to foreplay. I ask him where he wants to cum, knowing that anywhere is acceptable to me. He says he doesn't want to break apart so I grasp his hips, urging him deeper as he finds his release deep inside me.
I am utterly spent and overwhelmed by my Matthew and his performance. He rolls off of me and lays next to me on his side, his head cradled against my shoulder. I feel him leaking out of me as he softly kisses my lips again and again until sleep overcomes us.
In the morning, I finally go back out to the car to grab my overnight bag, and get ready to go on an actual date that he has planned for us. The thong from the night before stays on his nightstand, something to keep as a souvenir (;
More details about our date and more in the next story. Thank you for all the feedback! For those of you wondering, I'm about to start my ETS leave, Matt and I are still dating, and these are true stories about how we've both broadened our horizons as a couple, both sexually, and in terms of growth as a couple. Feel free to message with more feedback, or drop something in the comments! ♡Avery

Reason im coming to this subreddit is because I know us ENFJs love helping people, so who better to ask for help yknow yknow?
What im about to say is for context and while it is a humble brag its mostly for additional context i promise. I'm a tall (20M), i've been told consistently im attractive & am approached by women consistently- my issue isn't meeting/hooking up with women its getting to know them on a deeper level.
Theres alot of different reasons I don't end up dating people so i'll outline the reasons that come from me, then others, then mutual agreements
From me:
Alot of the time I can tell a girl is HEAVILY into me and I can take hints I understand the language quite well, though as i'm getting to know them I can tell i'm giving them the realest version of me but i'm not getting the same from them? I can tell whenever someone is trying to impress me and isn't showing me authenticity. If I mention something I like outfit wise they magically wear it the next day/week, if I mention a series I like i'll hear something like "Ooo I wanna get into that series/i'm a fan! (they're not a fan)."
Super cute at first, makes me feel attractive but then the months go by and I realise..I know nothing about this girl other than what she says she has in common with me. If I ask about her personal life or just anything personal I get hit with an "IDK I can't answer abrupt questions like that! How about you tho what about your xyz" only to get my response said back to me but in a vague way to sound relatable. Not even gonna bother mentioning red flags such as them being diagnosed with npd or being a pathological liar or cheating on multiple exes, just know i've experienced them tho.
From others:
I firmly believe women overall want sex more than men, I cannot keep up with these sex drives. Not that sex isn't fun it just feels like i'm being used if theres no love behind it. I 100% prioritise their pleasure over my own and them being happy makes me happy but it leads to a few situations like:
* "I just want to have fun cmon nothing too serious" * "I think its time to mention i'm polyamorous" (i'm monogamous so that can't work sadly) * "I'm sorry I didnt say it earlier but I have a boyfriend, yes its an open relationship" (it wasn't I was her side guy)
and my personal favorite (not because I liked it but because i was in shock hearing it) "I want to be your whore, not your woman." I feel like im in that one black mirror episode called "Hang the DJ" where everyone is just having sex because it "increases your likelyhood of a successful relationship if you're good at it" and its not fun. I'm almost asexual but I know sex is extremely pleasing to partners so I do it anyway. Plus I know how damaging it can be to a girl to tell them "I don't want to have sex with you yet."
Mutual reasons:
I firmly believe that if I as a person am meeting bad partners I need to look within and improve that, I learnt that much in therapy so i'll clarify this doesn't happen with every girl I meet. There have been some really truly nice girls i've become friends with and even crushed on. Alot of the times these girls and I simply don't have anything in common, whether it be values, morals, political beliefs and world views. Its perfectly fine to be friends with someone who doesn't agree with your view of the world or have the same values/morals as you but its not possible to do that in a relationship, heads will butt and diversity intensifies.
Examples: Wanting to be a traditional housewife, I don't at all believe in tradition, especially not housewives as every housewife i've ever met has been a miserable mess.
Wanting children, even though I also want children its a luxury to have them in this economy. I'm not quite sure i'll ever be able to pay for children let alone their college education.
These girls are honest and unchanging to what they deem to be their best selves(which is a GOOD thing) and it makes it clear even if we click in conversation and we're attracted to each other we wouldn't be compatible in a committed relationship..sadly.
TL;DR
Through attempting to meet alot of girls its making me feel rare & unique but with all the downsides of it, I rarely truly relate to people and it sometimes makes me feel weird/boring despite knowing everyone appreciates having me around, i'm shown alot of platonic love from family (mainly siblings not parents) and friends as well as sexual love that I still have to appreciate. I know that is 100% pretty privilege and I should count my blessings so instead of complaining im gonna ask:
From what I listed here what am I doing wrong that I cannot see for myself? How can I improve upon that?

My boyfriend and I had made plans a week ago to go out to the city today and take cute couple photos, which was actually his idea to begin with. Our work schedules are pretty opposite. So, when we hang out any other day, it’s usually after work for me and it’s usually just dinner and hanging out for a couple of hours. I knew that this day with the photos would take a good chunk of our day and we both wanted to make sure we had plenty of time together. The only solution we could come up with would be to take the day off. I ended up taking the day off.
Well, this morning, at 7am, he texts me saying he’s taking his sister to the ER and that we need to reschedule the original time we had planned. I responded saying “hope everything is okay, keep me updated”. And then I hadn’t heard from him all day. I called him, texted him and nothing. He then updates me, 9 hours later that his sister fell and hit her head. I expressed my concern and wished for her speedy recovery. I then asked him to call me when he had chance. He calls, and we talked for about 10 minutes. He said sorry for not saying anything and that his phone was on silent and didn’t want to talk to anyone and that he couldn’t focus on anything else.
I’m not mad that he couldn’t meet up, obviously his sister is injured, so he says. It’s the communication. He has actually used the ER excuse as a reason in the past when we had made plans. One time he claimed to have been in the ER for chest pain and didn’t tell me until midnight, claimed it’s too hard to think when you’re in that kind of situation. Another time, we were supposed to go on a birthday weekend getaway, he had gone to the ER and it had gotten canceled. One time he was supposed to see me, he claimed he needed to help his friend with something and couldn’t meet up. So, Idk, it seems weird something like this happens constantly.
We actually broke up 3 months ago because of his communication problems. He didn’t talk to me for 10 days after losing his job, he basically acted like I didn’t exist to him and that he was dealing with his issues and that I shouldn’t be upset with him. I broke up with him for this. Then 2 months later, he reached out again, apologized for everything and promised to work on it and that he still loves me. I decided to give him another chance, and things were good, up until today.
What bothers me, is he knew I took the day off for us. I know technically it’s not a big deal, but I work in the medical field and hate taking days off unless absolutely necessary. He knows how I feel about my job. And then the whole disappearing act of not saying anything to me. Claimed to be not on his phone and was ignoring all calls. I’m sitting at home worried sick and he doesn’t even have the decency to take one minute out of his day to text me to update me. And considering the type of injury she had, he could’ve told me that I should go to work because he won’t be able to make it, but he basically had me sitting and waiting for him. This almost feels break up worthy for me. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting though.

Im in a relation with my wife since High School, since 2010 or so, we both went to the Military first her than me cause im 2 years younger, when she finished i started my journey, during that time in the military it was really hard for me to depart from her, i love and loved her the same since we've met during a school trip abroad, i think for both of us it was a love from the first sight. Since than she was my second half, i can't live without her, can't imagine a day waking up without her hy my side, we had some ups and some downs especially when we were younger, but never seperated for a moment, we had a very strong relationship, we welcomed our son in 2016, it was my happiest moment of my life after our marriage, we married in Prauge, and when we came back home we made another weeding for our friends and family.. At the beginning we had some financial struggle like many other young couples We worked 6/7 days a week, we started to save up, and when i started to notice the stress she experience on her work place i decided to change her life for good, cause such an amazing person like her deserves more than that, so meanwhile i was working at my place i was allowed a smartphone / laptop, and iv started creating our own niche business, worked 8 hours a day + 10 more on our current side project barley slept, ate, lost weight from 90 kilo to 54, i haven't had time to prep meals, but i grinded my ass out, in 2016 we officially staryed making sustainable amounts of money to keep me home to do it full time, and thats when our kiddo was born, so she also had enough financial freedom to stay at home and take care of our child without having all that burden of going to work, nannies, early kindergartens etc.... She stayed at home for the next 5 years raising our child and taking care of him. Since i was working from home i started to drink here and there some whisky, some beers, but not something crazy, i work from home i earn enough money, and she decided to get a small job as extra to save up some money for travelling and buying our first home, we had months with over $100,000 of income, at around late 2018 everything was going up hill, and all of a sudden, our payment methods placed a big halt over our business, and its the first time my life went downhill, I've lost clients, payments were all on hold, for a second my life was at its peak next second felt like im down in the dumps, had to figure out what to do next, had countless hours of research how to sort it out, called every possible banking institution world wide starting from United Stated, endingin Dubai, and thankfully light shined on us, and we made a deal with out local Visa/ and bank to let us accept further payments, we got our first SIP, we starrted to earn again, and life went on perfectly up until my father was diagnosed with throat cancer, where i had to work 24/7 alone on my project and somehow take care of my father, take him to chemo, radiations, countless doctor visits, he won his battle, he came out cancer free and it was a big day for all of us! We were certain that this battle was over, yet a month after he finished his treatment he cold me early morning and said something is wrong, he cough blood, and asked me to rush him to the hospital, dressed up rush on max allowed speed, picked him and my mom up, wife stayed at home with my kiddo, and we went to the emergency room in a hospital 40 Kilometers away from our little town, there he was placed to the emergency room, and we've beem told to wait until a throat doctor will be available to check on him, we wait for over an hour, while i went to speak to the doctors my mom shouted to come help, me and the docots when i approached him, he was holding this toilet thingy where people pee and it was all full of blood, he couldn't take a single breath, he was dying, he tried to stand ip and grasp some air while drowning in his own blood, there was blood everywhere, he was covered in it a huge pool beneth him, at some point he just fainted and me and my mom were the old people around him, while doctors were to afraid tovget closer to him, it was a horror movie, they placed him under few surgeries, his main arthary was punctured and his brain stopped getting oxyen and blood supply, a week later he passed away, while we were giving hope for his survival, one second he was the most happiest men in the world for beating his fight against that horrible thing, next second his helpless eyes knowing he is about to did, trying to ask me for help, it was an traumatic experience for me and my mom, during that year i had horrible nightmares, i heard him gurgle when felt a sleep, i saw blood everywhere, i was depressed that i lost my father in such a horrible way, and during that time my only support was my wife and mom, me and mom helped each other to keep sainity, and here i staryed to drink a bit more, work hard and drink, never fainted never faught or argued with my wife, she was fine with that, and im not talkig about a bottle of whisky a day or something but yeah 6/8 bottles of beer, listened to music while i was doing my job for my clients at this moment she was starting her job at a special store for home stuff, so i took care of my son, fed him, went to the park so he would play with friends, and when she came back home she made meals, some house stuff, showered him, placed him to sleep, and i was her light station before sleep, we talked stuff up, she tried a lil to help me coup with my dads passing, bit she never were able to understand the pain i went through, stuff started to get little better, more Family BBQ partirs, we finally started to laugh, and my mom was shininv, cause she saw me there happy, she saw our kiddo, and she were thankful to her husband that she has us now to fully support her and help her, at this point my mother in law also decided to move from a big city to iur little town to "be closer to her daughter" not really, she started to rent a house a mile away from us, and i was happy that my wifes mother also living near to us, and that my wife will be see her more often, she also become part of our family after years living far away from us, when she came her husband (boyfriend) also started to get sick so she basically dumped him, and he passed away due to unknown reason (its important) we all went to the funeral it was another hit, after my dad he was for me like a second father i could talk too, few month after his passing her my wife grandmother who was living with my wife mom, started to stumble, stopped walking and was bed bound her cognetive functions also went downhill ina month she couldnt recognize her clise ones which was a hard moment for my wife, so she found an elderly house a care home so people will take care of her, while she is keeping all her social security money, a year later the grandmother passed away, i staryed to suspect that something ain't right, first her husband than her mother, but never put enough accent on that, in 2022 around September i started to feel really really ill, i started puking 4-6 times a day,, couldn't hold food, couldn't hold fluids i went to the Emergency place in our city and they gave me pills to stop me from puking, and now i started to stumble, fisr i felt at home when trying to get me some water, next fall occured on my way to the store, and another time when her mom asked me to help her with the computer, it lasted few more days untill i was unable to stand, use my hands i all become stiff my hands stopped worked and finally i was rushed to the hospital after a whole month of hell, when i arrived the Hospital i had memory issues, i couldn't tell what day it is, short memory is gone, i could recognize, wife, mom and kiddo, but i couldn't recall what i ate today, i could say good morning 10 tjmes a day to my wife, my eyes were running left and right that what i was told, i did all checkups at the hospital, they thought a brain injury or tumor, they took spinal fluids, blood work, urine tests, nailz, and hair tests, they couldn't find anything besides one drug test they ran randomly on me, they found around 870 mg of Benzodiaziapm in my blood test, i never even knew what that thing wmis, until my doctor started asking me question about that substance, if i ever took those pills, and i said no, i have no idea what that is and where it came from, when my cognitive functuons started to get better on week 4, i was in the Intensive care, monitors to keep me checked so i wont have lung failure, i asked my wife randomly to check her mom house for those pills, and guess what? She found that same pill box in her kitchen drawer, while she was on vacation with her friend, so we immediately started to suspect her mom, her mom was about go lose her current house and she knew i have a very good business that my wife also helping me earning money, she staryed to ask wierd questions which my friends confirmed, she always asked my wife if she kniws how to run the business, when i heard about that, i was proud of my wife that she finally can help me out at home dealing with clients, thats when my mother in law started to work on a plan to get rid of me, as she did in the past, she pisioned me during september on my 29th Birthday, thats right when i started to feel ill, after i was released from the hospital i left disabled in a wheelchair, my wife had to shower me, help me dress up, and feed me, i was peeing in containers and i couldn't even go number 2 cause from my chest down i lose all muscle control, i couldnt lift arms, legs, poop, and do simple day to day stuff, thankfully i was approved as a disabled person 110%, and since than im 2 years trying to recover, my legs still dont work, i cant feel heat, always numbbess, tingling sensation below wasted, and neurological pain which i try to coop with without and pills, crying at nights, alot, hard for me to get sleep, im always cold, i feel uselss, worthless, i feel like a burden on my wife, so last 26 of April i had a friend who came to visit we had some booze, nothing too crazy, we had some good time, laughed and i went to bed, while my wife downed two bottles of whisky with my friend, he noticed she got too drunk so he started to emoty her glass when she wasn't looking, after that she came to the room staryed shouting on me, mentally abusing me and telling that im stuff about she wants to leave me and son and start living her own life without us, she had enough of marriage, on the morning she couldn't remember that night at all, my friend helped me to get from wheelchair in bed, and than left her in the kitchen alone, where she continued to drink, i woke up arounx 7 AM she was missing from home, went to grab more liquor or beers i have no idea and the argument continued so i asked her to go get some sleep, and she thankfully did, when she woke up she had a good laugh about her behavior and i slipped on that as a one time occurance, i agreed to never have booze again at home, especially with her cause she cant handle it, on the 9th of may its a victory day for me, cause my grandfathers fought world war two, i bought few beers to raise a glass, for the celebration, and instead to be with me while we watch the Victory day parade, she suddenly decided to go for a walk, i left home alone my mom was with my kid, all went smooth up until 1 AM when i tried to call her, she answered and told me that she will be home soon, and afterwards stopped responding to my calls, my mom talked to her, and she said that she is near the neighborhood and will arrive soon, but she never arrived i started to worry, called her dozens of times she havent oicked up the phone, she ended up staying a night at her moms place for no particular reason, in the morning she came back told me that she wants a divorce cause she is young and want to travel thebworld and live a normal life and not stay like a jurse with me, she had enough of me beign sick, and usless (note im still the only one who brings income home) and she said she dont care about the kid anymore andi can have him (PS she also started ozempic course 6 weeks prior) so her therapist said she must stop using this stuff cause it cause mental problems, its 3rd week now she havent had a single shot, and all what happend became a bad dream for both of us, she regrets the stuff she said to me, and everything staryed to settle down, and today she broke again and startrd doing that again with the same demands she wanna leave after someone told her i was eating in a restaurant with my kid and i had a 300 cc beer on the table, i came back home all was great until today, when she was told about that beer, and it triggerdd her so hard that she want my signature and divorce, i love her, i need her and that she and our son is my only reason to live, and i cant let her go cause she is all of my life, and she doesn't care anymore.... She just want to leave me a disabled man with an 7 year old son, and kove to her mom. I haven't said anything bad to her, i didnt had an argument, never raised my arm on her, never done anything wro g to her especially with my conditikn where i barley hold a glass of water. I never thought about suicide cause i value my life and my mother, and son, i would never do harm to myself, but i feel like im lost, i lost everything in my life even though she is snoring right besides me when i write this, its feels like she enoys inflicting pain on me, mental pain she laughs when i cry, if feels like it give her pleasure, she was never like that before, and it hurts even more, since she started ozempic she started to say "she hopes she dies, she dont wanna live anymore, she had enough of been a mom, and a wife" stuff like that which she never said before, nor there was a real reason for thay, im not an abuser, i never done anything to her, and again im helpless man who is now disabled from chest and down, and im fighting to recover even 35% of body cobtrol would be huge for me, and instead lifting my soirit taking me in my wheelchair for walks outside, cooking me food instread of me ordering every god damn mill, i still lover her, i still want her to be with us, but it seems she already decided long ago that she doesn't love me anymore but never said that until she lost 30 kg with this hellish drug she injected.
Im lost i have no one to tell that, no one would really want to hear me talking about my struggles and a falling apart relationship with the best person i met in my life, my best friend, my wife, the mither of our child, my angel who changed ke for good, who found potential in, who inspired me to do better than i ever did before, i can't lose her, i won't lose her, i pray every night so she will change her mind! I really need her, im afraid to stay alone, im afraid to raise my kid in this state alone, and i dont want my kid to grow with only one parent because his mom dcided she wants to quit on us.
Uf anybody have anything warn to say, support ke, or kaybe an advise to approach her and try to fix that, the whole situatuon statlrted on the 26/27th of April and we are going through that until now, its getting better last few days as she let ke to hug her, and she aloowed ke ro give her a kiss on her cheek and after yesterday meal with my kid and that 300cc bottled beer, she at it again ;(
Sorry about this crazy block of text i doubt anyone gonna read that, but i would appriciate anything.
Thank you so much, George.

So yeah, it's officially my (22F) birthday. And by saying you know what that means, I meant that there are probably hundreds and thousands of posts like this one because apparently feeling sad on your birthday is pretty common but I just need to vent. I never fully realise how lonely I am until this day comes. Every. Single. Year. It's always the same. The only people that remember about my bday are my boyfriend and my parents. Actually, just my mum, who's the one responsible to tell everyone in my family so they remember too. And yes, I do have a boyfriend and "I shouldn't feel alone because at least I have him". Well guess what, I love him and I'm very grateful but I still feel miserable and lonely because I've never had a friend. And I can confidently say this. There's only one person I consider my friend but that's just because I don't want to admit the harsh truth: they're not really a friend. I've always wanted to throw big birthday parties and do all of those kinds of things but I guess that will never happen. At least I get a cute date day with my boyfriend. But again, if you've ever experienced this loneliness specifically related to friendships, you'll know what I'm talking about. Now I'll try to be strong for today. Deep down I know it's no biggie and I need to grow up and stop giving too much importance to these things. :')

Hi everyone !
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First of all, some information about the script :
I'm open to monetization as long as I receive credit. Minor adjustments to the script for recording are okay, as long as they maintain the original meaning. Adding sound effects or music isn't required, but it can enhance the story's immersion. The key is ensuring the listener understands the plot. My scripts are adaptable to any speaker or listener (A4A, M4A, F4A). If there are any uncertainties, feel free to ask for clarification.
Since English isn't my first language, please notify me of any errors in the script or story structure.
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Context :
Both you and your best friend have known each other for several years, so it was only natural that you thought of them to accompany you when you received two free tickets to visit the city's aquarium. Despite their hesitation, they eventually agreed to come along. As the date progresses, they even tries to confess something that has been on their heart for a long time…
Estimated audio length : 1400 spoken words : 7 to 15min
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[Speaker and Listener are in the queue at the entrance of the aquarium, with the sound of people talking.]
Speaker (sighs) : Ugh, it's so crowded. Coming here on a weekend wasn't the best idea.
Speaker : You know, aquariums aren't really my thing. If you hadn't won those two free tickets, I'm not sure I would have come, to be honest.
(...)

Speaker : Hey, I'm not complaining! It's just that watching fish swim around in circles for hours doesn't seem like the most exciting activity.
Speaker (more gently) : And... don't give me that sad look. I know I sound like I'm griping a lot, but I don't mind spending the day with you that much.
Speaker : Oh, looks like it's our turn. The advantage is that we already have our tickets, so we'll be able to get in quickly.
[Speaker and Listener hand over their tickets, with the sound of paper rustling.]

Speaker (a bit more upbeat) : Finally ! We get to see the fish !
(...)

Speaker : Huh ? Why do I suddenly sound happy ? Well, now that we're here, we might as well enjoy it.
Speaker : So let's see...
[They look around.] [Aquarium soundscape]

Speaker : Oh, look here, an arrow! That's the direction of the tour, come on !
[Speaker takes Listener's hand, with a sound.]

Speaker : Wow, it's not so bad actually... So this must be the seahorse area.
[Speaker notices they are still holding Listener's hand.]

Speaker (embarrassed) : Oh. I didn't realize I was still holding your hand. I... I'll let go. Sorry.
Speaker : A… Anyway !
Speaker : Look at all these sehorses ! I find them pretty cool, they look like mini horses.
(…)

Speaker : Do you like them as well ? Haha, I see I'm not the only one !
Speaker : Did you know that male seahorses are the ones that carry and give birth to the babies ? Pretty interesting, right ?
Speaker : Oh, you already knew that ? I see, it's true that it's a fairly well-known fact.
(...)

Speaker : What ? What do you mean I wouldn't be a good parent ? Oh, I don't allow you to say that ! I'd be great at it, thank you very much.
Speaker : You'll see later when we have kids.
(...)

Speaker (suddenly embarrassed) : Uh, I mean, not us together, but, you know, each of us with... someone else.
Speaker : We... we should continue the tour.
(...)

Speaker : Now we're in the room with exotic species. Well, this promises to be colorful.
Speaker (amused) : Some of these fish really have weird heads, haha. Oh, this one, with its weird nose...

Speaker (reading the sign) : It's the short-nosed unicornfish.
Speaker (chuckles) : Haha, it's really ridiculous !
(...)

Speaker (offended) : What ? How do I resemble it ? That's absurd !
Speaker : We've been friends for so many years and you can't even see how handsome/pretty I am.
(...)

Speaker (pointing to another aquarium) : You know what, I think I found one that resembles you too. There, it's the stonefish.
(Listener is offended)

Speaker : Haha, with your furrowed brows like that, the resemblance is even more obvious. You could almost pass for twins.
Speaker : I assure you, you both have the same grumpy look !
(...)

Speaker : Ohh, you see, it's not very pleasant to be compared to an ugly fish ! I guess we're even now.
[They walk a bit]
Speaker : Oh look, this tank is filled with magnificent species. That's what I meant by "full of color". It's really beautiful...
Speaker : Hm ? Which one's my favorite in there ?
[Speaker thinks]

Speaker : Well, I'm not really sure, you know I'm not a big fish enthusiast.
Speaker : Okay, okay, I'll pick one.
Speaker : Hm... I think I'd go with the Emperor Angelfish. I love how the blue of its scales blends with its yellow stripes.
(...)

Speaker : And you ? Which one do you like the most ?
Speaker : Oh, I agree, that one is beautiful too, good choice !
(...)

Speaker : You're right, we'd better go see the next room !
Speaker : Apparently it's the one with the manta rays and sharks.
(...)

Speaker : Here we are. Wow, there are so many tanks here !
Speaker (enthusiastic) : Look there, bull sharks ! And here, zebra sharks, they're so cute !
Speaker : Oh, and there, blacktip reef sharks. They may look plain, but they're actually among my favorites !
(...)

Speaker : What ? Why are you staring at me like that ?
Speaker (embarrassed) : Uh, I know I said I wasn't passionate about fish, but this is different because they're sharks.
Speaker : Hey, I know sharks are actually fish. But, you know what I mean.
(...)

Speaker : I've never told you this, but I really love these animals, I find them misunderstood and fascinating.
Speaker : I know quite a bit about them. You'd be surprised, I'm even smarter than you think !
(...)

Speaker (challenging tone) : Oh, you don't believe me ? Alright, let me prove it to you.
Speaker : You see that one over there ?
Speaker : No, no. Not that one, there. Look at the one with the sucker-shaped mouth.
(...)

Speaker (closer) : Come closer to me, you'll see better.
[Speaker pulls the Listener closer to them, fabric rustling]

Speaker (closer) : Here, let me show you. There, can you see it now ?
Speaker : Good. So its name is the nurse shark.
(...)

Speaker : This species is also called the "ocean vacuum cleaner". You can tell by the shape of its mouth, but they spend their time scouring the ocean floor for food. They can literally suck in their prey, isn't that amazing ?
Speaker (teasing) : By the way, it kinda reminds me of you when you devour your meals at the cafeteria.

(Listener gets annoyed)
Speaker : Hey hey, I'm just kidding, no need to get all worked up like that !
Speaker (still close to the Listener, softer) : Please calm down, everyone's watching us...
Speaker (sighs) : Well, you're really touchy, even though I'm just speaking the truth. You're a real glutton.
Speaker : Should I be gentler ? And why should I, huh ?
(...)

Speaker : Because the other guys/girls/people here seem all sweet with their girlfriends/boyfriends/partner ?
Speaker (embarrassed) : I... I don't see what that has to do with us...
(...)

Speaker (looking around) : But now that you mention it, there are quite a few couples here...
(...)

Speaker (trying to be gentler) : Hmm, I'm sorry if I offended you. I don't find it repulsive that you enjoy eating, it's part of your charm after all.
Speaker : I know you think I sometimes tease, but it's mostly just playful banter. I would never say things to hurt you, you know. You're my best friend, I care about you.
Speaker (embarrassed) : P-please don't make me repeat that. It's embarrassing enough as it is.
(…)

Speaker : We... we should head to the last room now. There are still a few tanks left to explore.
[They walk to the last room]

Speaker (impressed) : Wow, okay, I thought the shark room was the best, but this one is even better.
Speaker : All these jellyfish, they look like hundreds of clouds...
(...)

Speaker : Strangely, there aren't so many people in this room. Good for us, we can sit down.
Speaker (patting the seat) : Here, sit with me.
(…)

Speaker : It's really mesmerizing to watch... I didn't think I would love this place so much.
Speaker : You know, there's something fascinating about jellyfish. Did you know that some species are considered biologically immortal ? It's like they can live forever...
(...)

Speaker (trying to confess) : Immortality is a bit scary to me, but I wouldn't mind if this moment with you lasted forever.
[Silence]

Speaker : What ? I was trying to be gentle, like you asked me earlier ! I was making an effort for once.
Speaker : Did that sound like a confession ?
(...)

Speaker (determined) : Well... In reality, you're not entirely wrong.
Speaker : Look, I don't want to ruin what we have. We've been best friends for so long, and I cherish that more than anything.
Speaker : But lately, I've been feeling something more... something I can't ignore. I've realized that I care about you in a way that's different from before.
Speaker (embarassed) : I guess what I'm trying to say is... I think I'm in love with you.
(...)

Speaker : B… but listen, I understand if you don't feel the same way. I don't want to pressure you into anything.
Speaker : Whatever your answer is, I'll respect it. I just needed to tell you how I feel.
Speaker : And if you want things to stay the way they are, as friends, I'm okay with that too. I just want you to be happy.
(…)

Speaker : Hey, are you okay ? Your face is pretty red.
Speaker : Say something ! Don't just stay silent like that.
(...)

Speaker : You... you do feel the same way ?
(...)

Speaker : Oh, I'm so happy right now. I've been holding onto these feelings for so long, and knowing that you feel the same... it's like a dream.
Speaker : I promise to be the best boyfriend/girlfriend/partner I can be. You can count on me, always.
(…)

Speaker : Well, yeah, boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, now that I know you love me too, I'm not going to let this opportunity slip away.
[Speaker approaches]

Speaker (closer) : Listen closely, because I'm not going to repeat it a third time.
Speaker : I love you.
[Speaker kisses the Listener]

Speaker (back to reality) : Hm, we should head towards the exit since the tour is over.
Speaker : You probably want to check out the aquarium gift shop, right ?
(...)
Speaker : You don't want to ? Well, yeah, the stuff there is often overpriced, but we can still take a look.
Speaker : No ? Alright, let's go then.
[Speaker searches his pockets and realizes something]

Speaker : Darn it, I can't find my earphones. I think they fell out when I opened my bag to take out the tickets at the entrance. Wait for me outside for a few moments.
[Speaker quickly exits]
(Listener waits for a few seconds)

Speaker (a bit out of breath) : I'm back ! Found them.
Speaker (embarrassed) : Um... I also have something for you.
[Speaker gives a keychain to the Listener, chain noise]

Speaker : It’s a jellyfish keychain. I saw you eyeing them while we were waiting in line.
Speaker (embarrassed) : Oh, uh, yeah, there's one for me too. They're matching keychains.
Speaker : Hey, don't laugh ! I'm not a lovey-dovey guy/girl.
(...)
Speaker : It's just that... You seemed to really like it, so I thought it would make you happy.
Speaker : Plus, it's a nice keepsake for us, so we'll remember this date for a long time.
(...)

Speaker (closer) : And now that we're together, we'll be able to create even more memories.
(End)
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Author's note : I want a jellyfish keychain now.