Hey in movies there's often this theme where a guy gets the girl back by begging, confessing his love to her, plays to her their song on a boom box in public...
It's ironic how irl all these behaviors can't be further from reality and what in movies make the girl fall back in love irl would make her run away. I think on some subconscious level movies influenced me in a way that while i was being broken up with, in my mind i thought telling her how special she was and how much i love her would convince her to stay where all it did was feed her ego and make her feel happy to leave. Why in movies they always portray this narrative that chasing gets them back while in reality it is the opposite. You don't see no contact in movies and how it's actually the best way to get an ex to miss you.

I had total, horizontal incision removal last week. I feel fortunate, recovery has been ok. (Still waiting on pathology though so......) But I got ALL the things leading up to surgery and haven't really needed to use them. I figured there was probably someone on here stressing out to buy the things. I can't get out to ship until around 6/15, so you would need to have a later surgery date, but I'm happy to send unused products. DM me if you can use these, in around July.
Gas EX Stool Softener Laxatives I have 1 cheap but decent microwave heating pad
I absolutely did need larger undies, high waisted. Larger elastic waist pants. Lozenges I did use Miralax but they sent me home with more than enough. I wasn't allowed Gas EX at hospital. 🤷 I also wished I had asked what clothes I was allowed to wear in hospital. (The gown/sheets gave me a massive rash on my back. ) I will want lower dose Tylenol & Advil, right now I'm still on prescription. I haven't used a pregnancy pillow, I've liked the support of an extra blanket beside me because I can adjust the height. Whoever said. "A million pillows" 💯
Every time I met with my DR. I had a list of questions. (Thanks mostly to this group.) So much seems obvious to others but if its a question for you, ask it. When you are in an appointment, it's your time. Make sure you are comfortable with the information you are getting.

To start this off, I never intended on hitting him(hard at least) and I had never intentionally done anything that would make him feel guilty about stopping.
About a month ago I(16nb) got dumped by my now ex bf(17m) due to what initially was said to be that he needed to work on his mental health and none of this was because of something i did, this was weird because ever since we had started dating we have been very open about our mental health with each other so i decided a few days after he ended it and i cooled off that I would ask if there was a different reason. ik it was a bad idea but i really needed closure because it felt so dishonest, i made assumptions and asked if it was because he had feelings for someone else as i had seen someone in his quick adds on snapchat that was “from his contacts” with a heart next to his name while we were dating that i swept under the rug. He was also posting thirst traps publicly and people were favoriting every one (his accounts have always been private) it was an unfair assumption and i still regret asking but i can’t really change the past. he said no and that he had just fallen out of love and i accepted that and felt that we were both in a good place. This quickly changed.
he soon sends me a text that made my heart drop, he said that it was because i hit him and you don’t hit people you love, he said he’d never forgive me. this confused me a lot, i had hit him one time 4 months prior to this moment. we had always play fought and he was ok with it, he ended up making a joke about my friend that i didn’t like and i meant to slap him lightly/in a lighthearted way but accidentally used too much strength. I admit i shouldn’t even joke like that but i ended up kissing his cheek where i had hit and apologized saying i was in the wrong. he said it was ok. this would come up during arguments where every time id explain it was an accident and i was wrong to joke like that and ive shown him it wouldn’t happen again.
he then sent this paragraph:
“Yk what? Fuck trying to be a good guy anymore. I’ve tried making excuses to my friend to make them hate you less. I don’t wanna hear you say shit like my decision was fucked up I decided what was best for me and call me selfish I don’t care. You hit me, and made me feel guilty for saying no. Didnt you repost the tt about things that mean no? So why wasn’t my uncertainty enough for you. It wasn’t my fault or my issue to take care of alone, I never wanna see you utter the words “I thought it wasn’t my fault” because you hitting me was YOUR fault, not mine, not anyone else’s. Just because you might not have meant to doesn’t change the fact you did and that is unacceptable. I’m glad you got your closure but I’m done. I don’t wanna be your friend I don’t want you in my life ever again. There are so many things I’m happy to be free from and yes is breaking up didn’t hurt as much as you and I will not feel bad about that. I now don’t have to worry about becoming your father. Also, NEVER assume I liked someone else while dating you. That is rude as hell and disrespectful, you jumped to conclusions and your overthinking isn’t my issue anymore. I will never forgive you, and will have my own opinions you can take that as you will. My friends are against you and I cannot defend you. If you want your hoodies back let me know because otherwise I’m donating them if you don’t want them. Also yes I am mad about you loosing my hoodie, the one I cared the most about. But I will never let you replace it and ruin a perfectly good hoodie.”
when he references when i made him feel guilty we were starting to do something (i ALWAYS made him say enthusiastic yea or id stop due to him not expressing emotions typically due to both of us being neurodivergent) and his dog walked in. we stopped to pet her and he asked me to take her outside of the room, i got up from where we were and opened the door where he started calling for her and she took my spot. i awkwardly sat there and was a bit disappointed because he knows i have trauma related to intimacy and that i don’t see that stuff as just whatever, but instead as a way to be closer to someone. after we hung out and i confronted my friends on what to do i let him know it hurt me and he told me that saying that made him feel guilty and that it was not ok. i agreed that i shouldn’t have said that and looking back i shouldn’t have expressed i wanted something due to his unsureness but i never intended to be like the ppl who hurt me.
this all really hurt because he brought up my dad, who i don’t tell may ppl details about. he was a horrible person to me and my mom and my goal in life is to be everything he wasn’t.
my friends tell me im not a bad person for thinking that my ex is in the wrong for blaming me but i feel like it’s partly my fault for not being considerate of situations and asking for a bunch of reassurance during the relationship. AITAH?

My(34f) brother(42m) moved in with our mom(65f) over a year ago when he and his wife separated. Things have been hard for him wanting to get back with his wife and be there for their kids but she is unwilling to work things out. He lost his daughter with his previous wife when she was 5 years old 13 years ago (she didn’t pass he just found out that his ex wife had been lying to him for 5 years about her being his and when she told him the truth she took her away from him, from all of us) so it’s really hard on him feeling like he is losing his family again.
My brother tends to be a d*ck more often than not and he has a holier than thou attitude. And acts like he is better than everyone. Even calls himself an “alpha-male” and I just think he’s being an alpha-hole. He wasn’t always this way, but for the last 15 years he has been. For years he and I barely had a relationship and not for my lack of trying. I would send him texts, call him, even get in contact with his wife trying to have a relationship with them and my niece and nephew. I also have a son(11 years old) who I wanted to have a relationship with his uncle and cousins. But I was always told no or even outright ignored. He would show up to see family maybe once a year if that?
Well, when he and his wife separated he moved into our mom’s house. She is disabled and hard of hearing and has a lot of health problems so she needs a lot of help and she is happy to have someone living with her to help. she doesn’t charge him rent all she asks is that he help pay half the utilities and bring in some groceries. And to help her with things around the house.
Now, it has gotten to the point where my brother is complaining about helping our mother and where my mother feels scared to even ask him for little things like to pick up medication or to mow the lawn or if she needs to go to the store to get groceries. One time he even outright ignored her and he and I got into a screaming match because of it.
A couple weeks ago my brother came with receipts to my mom and showed her all the times he had bought dinner for them in the last month and bought things for her (like eye drops, OTC medication, etc.) and asked her to pay him back a total of $140 and he had paid the utilities in full so he wanted her to pay him back her half of the utilities. (The utilities were $243 and change)… my mom was really upset about this not about the utilities because that was their deal, but about the wanting to be paid back for dinner and OtC stuff… she only gets $900 a month from her disability check. That’s it. That’s all she gets… and he doesn’t even have to pay rent or anything. He is a nurse at the local police department and he isn’t rich by any means but he makes a significant amount more than she does, our disabled mom who doesn’t/can’t work.
So because he pulled that crap on our mother, I told her she should start charging him rent. 🤷‍♀️ she said she would think about it because she is getting to the point of where she is crying everyday because she feels like she is walking on eggshells in her own home and I don’t think that’s fair one bit. I think he is taking advantage of her and maybe he doesn’t realize he is or he just doesn’t care about anything anymore.
There is a lot more to it but I’m wondering if I am being the a**hole by telling her to charge him rent when he is having a hard time but I don’t think that’s an excuse to treat our own mother this way. He and I don’t even really have a relationship anymore especially after our screaming match and it hurts me because we were close growing up and I looked up to my brother and loved him so much and I wonder if I am just being petty because I am hurt by him too or am I in the right?

My girlfriend and her ex broke up 3 years ago, they broke up because he trooned out and the relationship was toxic. ME and her are now super happy and have a good life that we are working towards. Yesterday, strangely at 0740am he decided to email her (He's blocked everywhere else), the email was apologetic and included an offer of help should she ever need it. This is highly strange and I am unsure of his motive. Gf is not interested whatsoever in communicating with him so I emailed back saying that 'whilst it's noble to apologise, it's in the past... please do not try to contact my GF by any means.' I also asked him to confirm receipt of my email. He's yet to reply but I am starting to think that he may have some dark motives and my email to him would leave him with a sour taste in his mouth even though he should have expected that from trying to contact his ex who hates him. In the event that he doesn't comply with my instructions what steps can I take to ensure he doesn't even think/bother to reach out to us?

Once, the girl I love (she has moved on) was in a horrible time in her life, where she was actually thinking about suicide for some time... One day, after receiving an email saying that she had not overcome the test to enter the film academy she hoped to attend, she was desperate and saw no way out of that terrible situation. I made the biggest mistake in cases like these: I started looking for pragmatic solutions to her problem when the only thing I should have done was take the first available flight and go to Spain to see her (we had been in a long-distance relationship for almost 2 years). I too was in a difficult moment, having just moved to another city, alone, dissatisfied with my life and my choices... I was the only person with whom she felt she could open up and someone with whom she could share her weight... but I gave in, and to yet another negative response to my proposals I replied with this message: "so what do you want to do? just kill yourself?!" we argued and argued for a long time that day. needless to say that a couple of months later, after many discussions and almost total distancing on her part, we break up. she asked me to leave her. Now she's fine, she has new friends, a new boyfriend,I can't find out more, but I know she's fine, and I hope with all of myself that she's happy. I can only imagine what it felt like reading that message, that the person you need most, on whom you rely, one of the few things that gives away a glimmer of hope to stay alive: he disappoints you by breaking and praising you by giving that sentence, how much pain could she have tried? how can someone say they love another person and write that message, on such a difficult and disappointing day... how could they then even just want to hear the name of the boy who disappointed and hurt her so deeply and seriously? it happened two years ago now, since then I have never had a restful night's sleep, a day in which I didn't think about what I had done, a time in which I didn't feel like gagging when I looked at myself in the mirror. I'm sick, I've been sick for two years and my life goes on by inertia, and now it's too late to talk about it to my friends, rightly bother to hear me talk about my ex... and then, knowing this about me, what would they think? ? I disappointed and failed the woman to whom I had promised eternal protection and care, to whom I had assured support and security, I can't stand it anymore but I can't do anything other than continue to live with that moment, that message, stuck in the my eyes, feeling it burn like a brand on my back. I tried to contact her again but she made it clear that she didn't want to have anything to do with me, I don't blame her, but I miss her like crazy and maybe I've become a little crazy because of it.
she will probably never read these words, and it's better this way, it wouldn't change anything anyway, I tried to make up for it in every way, except going there in person, things she asked me not to do, and so I obeyed. there is no ending to this message, rambling and badly written... it's just an outburst from a person who can no longer live every day in the same head as the boy he hates, in the same body as the one he hates. he destroyed the most precious and important relationship I have ever had, I understood all this too late, as usual, I always arrive too late.

My boyfriend (27M) and I (27F) have been together for about 3 years. I love him a lot, and our relationship is the best relationship I’ve ever been in, hands down. But while I still feel like there are things to sort out, he has expressed many times that he knows he wants to marry me and have kids with me, etc. For some reason, that is making me feel crazy—how can he be so sure while I am not?
Background on long distance: Currently, I live in Los Angeles and he lives in Miami. I just moved to L.A. in December, because I have always wanted to live there, I have a good amount of friends there from school and summer camp, and I feel like right now I’m not tied down with home owning or kids or taking care of my parents, etc. so now is a good time to try a new city, try new adventures. (my two bests girl friends also agreed to move to L.A. with me, so even more reason!). He doesn’t really understand that mindset and hasn’t have the urge to try a new city, so while I would’ve been happy if he came with me, I was very transparent that I didn’t want him to come JUST for me, I wanted him to want to come a little for himself—and since no part of him wanted to come, he stayed. I have loved it so far, and although he obviously wishes we were together, he is mostly supportive. I’ve done long distance before, so I wasn’t worried about it going into it. Actually, at first, he said he didn’t want to do long distance at all, and we were planning to break up, but he changed his mind and honestly it hasn’t been bad. I’ve been busy with work and he’s writing a book, so it’s given us both time to focus on our other duties in life. Sometimes he will make comments like, “well we could do that together…if you were here” but I understand he’s just trying to cope. I have a lot of friends and at times he does seem to get jealous of me spending time with them or if I mention I met a new acquaintance that is a man, but I would NEVER cheat on him as he has a history of being cheated on, and that’s simply just not something I have an urge to do. I love him very much.
Family background: He has a pretty nuclear family; mom, dad, two brothers and a sister. They all get a long and while his whole family is pretty loud, and they sometimes fight, it’s never really been a question on if his parents would stay together or not. The one thing that does bother me is that his mother does take on the stereotypical “nagging” wife/mom role, the butt of a lot of jokes…which is kind of my nightmare. On the other hand, my parents divorced when I was 3 because my mom cheated, and my mom moved away to Montana. I don’t have a great relationship with my mom, but I have done a lot of therapy and worked through a lot of the trauma that came with their separation/ her abandonment. Proud to be doing well, and proud of how much work I’ve put in to get here. I think because of this, I’m obviously more risk averse when it comes to marriage—though I do know that I want to be married and I do want kids, I obviously think it’s a big decision and for my future kids (and myself! And my partner!) it’s not something I take lightly. Don’t get me wrong, I’m far from cynical about marriage. I just want it to be a thoughtful decision. I naturally worry about losing my independence but think with the right person, it can be a beautiful partnership.
He wants to be married soon, and wants kids sooner rather than later. He’s kind of expressed that he feels like his current life is on hold until he is married and has kids—that life before that is not “real” life. And he says he knows that I’m 100% the person he wants to do it with. I think he COULD be that person, but I feel like there are some deep talks we still need to have. Anytime I ask him what he thinks our life would look like in 5 years, location-wise or financially or even just how we spend our free time, he just says “I don’t know, we will figure it out.” It feels like he thinks everything will just spell itself out for us once we get married…but I would like to know at least some of the direction of the path that I am signing up for. He is not an overly ambitious person career wise, and I’m more of an overall planner and more career oriented, so I feel like I will end of making a lot of the big decisions on my own and will will be the bigger breadwinner, which is fine…but it doesn’t feel like the equal partnership I’ve always dreamed of. I know not every bucket of life (finances, childcare, housework, etc.) can be split 50/50, but I think the splits should be distributed enough that one person doesn’t carry too much. Which IMO, which is what led to my parents divorce. And with a single father raising me, I had to be very independent and take care of a lot of things myself. And I’m good at it. But after 2.5 decades of it, I am tired. I want a partner who I can fall back on and who can take care of me sometimes. My BF is great at doing this in the short term, but I fear his rose colored glasses about marriage are clouding his ability to be able to really understand the practicalities/realities/challenges of building a life together. I’m worried it’s been a good fit for where we were in our lives in our mid twenties, with the same circle of friends, but maybe incompatible for the long run. Also, our politics are kind of different, so that’s fun. But something I think I can work with.
But I love him so much :( he is funny and loving and I enjoy the little bubble of life we’ve created thus far. I think he would be a great dad. He makes me feel beautiful, and of course it is nice to hear that someone is so sure about you. But the imbalance in our “sureness” is making me feel like a total asshole. Maybe it would be dumb to throw away this great person…maybe I am letting my childhood get in the way.
As I’ve said, I’ve done a lot of therapy so I am usually pretty good about processing my emotions…but this really has me spiraling lol. And I have talked to my therapist about this too, don’t worry. Just curious about Reddit opinions!!! Should I stick it out—and if so, what could I do, to try to get clarity and be more (or less…) sure.
TL;DR - My boyfriend (27M) says he’s 100% sure about marrying me (27F) and I don’t understand how he could be so sure and it’s making me less sure, I feel like there is still a lot to figure out. What can I do to get clarity?

I have been using my boyfriend’s old iPad for a work thing - with his permission - and downloaded a file but at the same time saw several downloaded pictures of him and his ex-wife of 4 years doing various sexual acts. Normally he would have the benefit of the doubt, he’s not used the iPad for a while but the timestamps of the images were of last month. They are clearly old pictures (she looks a lot different now).
I asked him if we need to talk about some images I found in his files and of course he at first tried to play them off with “they are old pictures” and the classic “I have no idea how they got there” until I mentioned the timestamps.
He broke down and said he’s been looking at pictures of her on his phone (and his iCloud must have synced to the iPad) and it’s a purely sexual ‘fantasy’ about his past with no emotions or attachment. He said he feels so guilty but he just hasn’t been able to bring himself to delete them or stop masturbating to them.
He’s made very clear that he isn’t attracted to his ex in the present at all (she’s gained lots of weight and acts like a completely different person) but says it’s like his wife died and there is a stranger in her place now and it’s his wife that he has felt sexually attracted to.
I just feel really disrespected right now. I just can’t unsee those images. Am I being unreasonable? I feel like the fact that he can’t bring himself to delete these pictures does show an emotional attachment and brings me to wondering if he is even ready for a long term relationship despite his break up being 2+ years ago and my relationship with him for almost a year now.
Tldr; boyfriend faps to images of him and his ex together and I feel angry - how do I approach?

Good morning everyone. As most of you may already be aware, last week I have decided to end things with my husband of 7 years. He moved all his belongings out last week, and I have been living in my apartment by myself. When I first met him 7 years back, we were both over the moon and we had gotten married just 3 months after dating. Things were amazing for a while, but shortly after we began to have a lot of problems. Mistakes were made of course, but we had tried to work through them as we both still loved each other very much. For 6 years, I supported his heart failure and took care of him. Paid all the bills, etc only up until last year when he was finally awarded money for his disability by the government.
Things just got really bad between us. Countless fights, screaming, stress, everything. I had realized that I fell out of love with him years ago, but was too afraid to speak honestly. And so the vicious cycle of fighting, tears, anguish, and sadness continued for years. We became roommates so to speak. I would work, come home, eat, and we were sleeping in separate rooms for years. I was too afraid to speak up and say anything. I became an empty, lifeless shell devoid of human emotion, and I barely recognized myself anymore. It was the most horrible feeling. I thought this perpetual cycle of madness was going to continue on infinitely. My mental state was fucked at this point.
So we continued on, I came back to Reddit...again as some of my followers know I had quite the history of coming and going. (Now you know why). I started to post characters again for fun, not really returning to full time sliders as it's a lot of work, but rather just sharing some fashion and faces I thought looked good. This simple thing made me feel happier despite how much pain I was dealing with internally. I made my first post here several weeks ago, and that same night I received a PM from a complete stranger that was really nice. It was a simple message, but it made me genuinely smile. Probably the first real genuine feeling I had felt in a long time. And something inside of me told me to respond. And so I did. And instantly my conversations day and night with said individual were the only thing I looked forward to. They brought me solace and happiness that I never knew I could even feel again. I really have came to know this individual really well and it turns out we both have very similar situations. It was the absolute most real and unreal thing I could fathom. At some point I questioned if this was real, because surely this was something that my subconscious just cooked up. I wouldn't have put it past it, as I was already so screwed up from a culmination of everything that had happened and everything currently going on. But I found myself rereading all of the conversations recently and the first time I heard his voice, I think I said something to him along the lines of "Oh my god, you're real."
And we continued talking every day and night since then, and I told him everything. Like...my entire life story. Fucking flood gates were open and i couldn't stop. I was one hundred percent completely open and honest with him and I've never been able to do that with anyone, not the man I was married to for 7 years....not even myself. He accepted me completely, flaws and all. And I realized that I was falling in love with him. That I do love him.
I had to start being honest with myself and those around me before it got to the point where I completely lost sight of myself. My marriage was already in shambles prior to this, and it was going to end regardless, but once he entered my life, I knew I had to speak up.
And so when I told him I wanted a divorce and asked him to move out, he tried to give me the ultimatum of I could stay in the marriage or I can continue talking to "dipshit". And I was seething and seeing absolute red. I chose Josh. And I told him that I never expected to fall in love with him, but I did. I told him he needs to leave because regardless of whether I had fallen in love or not, this was already and had been already long over. And so he packed his things and calmly left. I was expecting him to punch a hole through the apartment wall as he had done in the past. Because I was so used to the fighting and screaming. The calm departure threw me off. But once he left, I fell to the floor hysterically crying from a mix of so many emotions. I was alone. I was relieved. And I could finally start healing.
And to Josh, who I know will read this, but probably not comment...I love you. You mean more to me than you could realize and I can't wait to meet you in June. ❤️
And to my soon to be ex who won't be seeing this. These are my final words, because writing is my life blood, the very essence of my being:
Torture crawls and scrapes its claws, through my dampened corridors. Each lonely passage stinks of flesh, a labyrinth of echoed death.
Steel my darkness; absorb its pain, syringe despair just like cocaine. Hooked by your spell and through my heart, you scored my veins with kisses tart.
Liquid regret sucks from my skin, seeps through the dungeon deep within. Living, dying, dead existence, shallow stone, sinking resistance.
You said your heart was my true gift, but through cold eyes I sensed a mist. I saw behind your two-faced mind, your scheme to control clearly defined.
Etched realization chilled my soul. How could your love be lifeless coal? Was evilness pursed on your lips with every single deadly kiss?
Did you desire to burn disgust, upon man's love with poisoned bust? Was there ever somewhere deep within, a piece of love wrapped in thin sin?
Your eyes were blank, no love lived there. An empty book, full of blank stare. So now I write my final note, To tell you my love is revoked.
A heart like yours has only hate. A sprite disguised with angel bate. No longer will your tricks deceive and leach the energy from me.
So read these words from me to you, our love is dead so we are through. My heart's immune to your black spell, your love unreturned to rot in hell.

I dislike my boyfriend's dad. He's been cheating on all his previous 2 wives (second wife is formally the mistress he cheated on his first wife with) and now he's so desperate he found himself a filipino woman who is the same age as his children. He is a narcissist who doesn't think what he did was wrong and for the past 6 or so years, he's been embroiled in a nasty divorce process with his second wife (who is feisty and sly). Hes had a heart attack that has now resulted in half a working heart and a pacemaker.
I believe that he has mid life crisis and has been chasing young women half his age to feel young and now that he's shorten his heart's lifespan, he's become more difficult.
My boyfriend still wants to keep him in his life and in turn that has led to him trying to get me to do the same too even though I dislike the person. I dislike not only for his actions in hurting others, but also that he think what he did was justified. He also comes across as 'charming' but is two faced. He is so desperate when it comes to vying for attention that he would appear overly enthusiastic and happy when he sees people but the moment he gets home, he starts bad mouthing and bitching about everyone... including me. These are signs of an insecure man, which makes me think he's a narcissist who needs that attention on himself and expects other people to love him but isn't willing to invest his real emotions and really get to love people unconditionally. He wants people to love him but he's ok with disliking them.
So my guess is that when he passes away, he would put his girlfriend on his will and not his own children. Not that they need the money but judging by his mindset, my guess is that he'll go that way.

I have a girl friend since childhood who, as it seems as we approach our 30s this year, is cutting off me and other long time friends because we are in relationships. A little background, we've had our ups and downs especially in our teen years because she was always hyper competitive with me, but she is a good friend with a big heart. I feel closer personality to my friends I've met in adulthood but I cherish our long term friendship and now that we live halfway across the country, I'm conscious about putting in more effort to maintain our friendship. However, it seems like she has started to cut off me and our other mutual childhood friend because we found partners. I've been dating a great guy for almost a year and our other friend got married 2 years ago. Both of us are independent outside our relationships, we don't just talk about our partners or invite partners to everything.
My friend stopped replying to our text threads and offers to Facetime etc, just no response in months. My friends live near each other, and the friend (without the partner) had a birthday party and invited a bunch of people, and didn't invite our mutual (married) friend. I didn't recognize a the people, so I creeped on their IGs and a lot of them have posts all about being happy being single or not needing a man (which is valid too.) I sent my friend a birthday gift as well as a personal gift because she recently bought a house, which is a huge accomplishment I'm proud of her for. She never acknowledged either gift --I checked the tracking images and it was delivered. I think this is rude and ungrateful, but it's not the reason I will end a friendship.
I've noticed my friend has made more and more bitter comments about people in relationships. She visited me and before she even met my boyfriend, she asked why he was still single in his late 30s (we are about 8 years apart), in a smug way. (And on that trip I introduced her to my bf, but we had plenty of days of JUST girl time). She commented after another friend's wedding "they're gonna have problems in their marriage", and said about one of our friends who got her first boyfriend "it won't last, it's her first bf." These comments don't feel very supportive and I feel like she's becoming jaded. Unfortunately my friend has not had great luck in the dating world and I know she wants to get married and have kids. Her taste in men hasn't been great, but I know she craves the kind of stable, career driven partner my friends and I have. And I'm not unsympathetic to the pros and the cons of being single at this age, I know it can be harder to not have a partner, whether financially or emotionally. I've lived on my own (still do), done the dating apps scene, etc., it's not like I would ever dismiss her for being single or her dating struggles
I worry in your 30s this is the dreaded "friends go separate ways" or separate paths type situation, which I don't want to happen (makes me so sad). I do see there starts to be more of a schism between people who have partners or are planning for kids, than those who don't, but it can't be insurmountable! Has anyone experienced similar with a friend with a jealous or bad attitude about friends partnering up? Will time help heal any issues and she'll come back around or should I be trying to do more with the friendship?

I don’t know what to do. I have tried absolutely everything.
So I’m a woman in my 30s who has a degree, a good enough job and all I do is work, come home, eat alone and loneliness is eating me up.
I have felt this way since I was 23 years old.
I don’t have a community of friends. I have around 3 fairly close people who were from different parts of my life (one an old job, one from high school, one from college) who I see now and then but there’s no intense, talk constantly, I can tell them anything kind of friendship, they are just people I can grab lunch with now and then months apart.
My dating life has been horrendous. I can’t even explain how bad. It makes me feel like I’m this disgusting rat. All 3 friends and family members plus random people I’ve known throughout my jobs and things have all commented on how strange it is that I don’t have a partner and how badly things go for me.
The people I have dated in my past have all treated me very similarly. As in, I’ve never had an amicable breakup that ended nicely. They’ve all left me feeling awful. Everyone has always been extremely blunt in telling me I’m basically not good enough. Some phrases I’ve heard were: “you make me feel like I want to get myself back” “I didn’t ever see a future with you and didn’t know why I didn’t tell you this before” “you’re boring” “I understand why your friends and family don’t bother with you” “I just don’t care about you” “
I don’t drink alcohol and all these people told me at the start it wasn’t a problem for them. But sooner or later they would comment on how nice it would be if I joined them for a wine out on the porch after work or be able to go to a cocktail bar. And they would pressure me into doing it despite my strong stance on just not enjoying it. It almost seemed like everyone I dated was a disguised alcoholic even though they weren’t because that was the topic of a lot of our arguments … even though I know they weren’t in their “normal life” but just with me alcohol seemed so important that I didn’t do it.
I always came away feeling awful. I have an array of hobbies and find myself interesting - care for animals, reading, hiking, nature, skiing, cycling, I draw, and also write stories - nobody was ever interested in reading any or caring.
Whenever I go out with friends their partners… care. It’s something I noticed a lot. They’d text or call and ask for updates. Even when I was in relationships this didn’t happen. I’ve never, EVER had a partner or boyfriend who cared about me. This is not normal and I’ve never felt loved.
Both of my parents aren’t here either and I have a weird relationship with my brother. He’s married with kids and we aren’t close. I’ve tried and again I feel “not enough”. He tells me he doesn’t WANT to go on vacations with me because I don’t drink and he likes to go to bars and sip wine at nice places and I’d just not be compatible with him on holiday. He therefore doesn’t ever ask to hang out with me in our own country.
I was only ever close with my mother and miss her so much it hurts. I don’t feel connected with anyone and feel my personality must be so awful that nobody wants me around.
I’ve travelled a lot and even lived in other countries and feel deflated. If I do something pretty cool or a nice achievement I can’t tell anyone. Sure, a couple of my friends might send a nice text but I have nobody to hug, kiss or hype me up. I come home to my empty apartment and just have my own thoughts.
Every date I go on recently is a reflection of my past. People just seem to be super interested in the start, as in.. I have no issues getting matches and getting a good conversation flowing, sometimes even up to three moths of dating but then it ends. The same patterns occur where they suddenly don’t want a serious thing and are gone.
I’m broken making these constant deep connections with strangers only to then feel like I never knew them at all.
Friends have told me in the past I am too nice and fall too hard and people can see this but I don’t get it.
I pour my heart and soul into connections I do make, am sweet and caring and it’s never enough for people. I’ve never ever felt anything was ever reciprocated.
Everyone around me has a marriage - a stable, grown adult marriage with house problems and real life stuff, kids or engagements, stuff like that. I want that so much. I want a person to share my life with. I am so tired of being alone and being on this age on apps and going through the same things feeling so unloved and unwanted.
I look around - and this is going to sound judgmental and I don’t mean to be. But I look around at others I knew from school and friends and things and even people who are either not very attractive or even people with horrific personalities (mean, screechy, drama central kind of people) have good loyal husbands and a fairly decent enough life.
I feel like I’ve witnessed multiple situations where people cheat, so awful things and still someone is FIGHTING for someone to stay, fighting for love, somebody is a staple in their life worth it.
For me that’s just exactly what I feel I don’t have. Nobody has ever fought for me. Never cared enough to even go into a serious, let’s live together, maybe get married situations. Nobody has ever made effort the way I do. I’m good looking enough, not the most sexy person in the room but get told I’m natural beauty, cute and stuff like that. I try and take care of myself. I have that “sweet shy gentle” type personality and everyone I meet tells me I have such a good heart and soul. I really do everything for people. So I don’t understand.
I’m terrified of this continuing and I’m exhausted. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. I’m absolutely broken with feeling like my whole life has been loss around me, in terms of death of my loved ones and also loss of people I’ve cared for and wanted something with, loss of friendships that were once more solid and now are casual, just loss of everything.
Like I said I’ve tried travelling, lived in other countries, joined so many hobby groups and clubs, the amount of nights I’ve sat at a random meet up of a social night with a soft drink and chatted and gave it my all for nothing to come of it is hard to remember, I’ve even reached out on social media to old friends from random hobbies and school and nothing comes of anything.
I don’t know what else to do. I enjoy my own company but I’m now at a point where it’s depressing me so much. I don’t want this to be my life. I want to go to theme parks with someone and feel alive. I want to book holidays with someone and get excited. I want to pack together and prepare their bags. I want to ask someone about their day. I want to share plans. I don’t want to just come home anymore and stare at a wall. Constantly see people thriving on social media. Have no family at important holidays. Nobody to celebrate things, I feel so empty and not even a part of society when I see the beach packed with people, gifts for sale in stores, etc. it’s not for me because I have no one.
I don’t know what else to do. If something cool happens in my day it didn’t really happen because I am literally by myself and have nobody who cares. I feel like other single people still have close friends or a mother or father who is interested, even a community of some sort. But I am literally alone.
Even when I do stuff with friends it’s only for an hour or two and I’ll get a taste of what a nice happy life is like, maybe an hour walking along a nice beach or a nice dinner somewhere with people around us then I’m back to being alone when they go back home to their husbands and have a cute night.
I cry everyday and don’t understand this. I’m so envious of people who have tons of people in their life. I never will have that even if I find a partner. But it just kills that even that part doesn’t exist. I can’t even explain how empty I feel. My birthday went by with one text message from one of my close friends and the other two sent one days later saying they forgot and had been busy. It’s like I don’t exist. And I’m terrified and don’t know what to do.

Kratom exacerbated autoimmune symptoms and may have started colitis
I started kratom 8 months ago to relieve extreme fatigue. I was diagnosed with adhd but I think I struggle more with CPTSD. I was also diagnosed lupus and rheumatoid arthritis. At first kratom was the key, and it was magical. I knew how to space my servings out so that I could feel it in small amounts each day. I thought I was good as long as I didn’t have more than 6 grams a day. I mixed it in organic orange juice. Well, orange juice is super acidic anyways and that itself can destroy your gut health. I didn’t know that. I recently started discovering what a gut health diet truly meant.
I started to notice kratom causing constipation. I got worried and stopped immediately. I thought it would be hard to quit but I’m an ex alcoholic. So if I can drop alcohol, I can drop anything now. I was just desperate and searching for something that was going to help my motivation for working out and getting household chores done.
I was constipated for nearly 3 months. It took an ER visit to diagnose colitis. I tried all the laxatives available prior to that and none of them worked. The ER told me to go on a clear fluid fast. So broth and jello…. Like when I had my gallbladder removed. I had already fasted for 2 days by that point because I was so miserable and terrified to consume anything.
Here’s a list of foods that made me regular again but it truly took 3 weeks of regular consumption for things to finally take effect:
You must consume water first thing in the morning, as soon as you wake up. 8 oz.
Next, research and find a quality brand bovine colostrum. Drink 2 scoops of that to 8oz of water and add Celtic sea salt for additional 82 minerals. Wait 30 minutes.
Introduce 4 oz of kombucha. Not the whole 16 oz bottle. That gave me diarrhea. But kombucha has so many conflicting things out there research wise… I choose to drink it anyways. It’s suppose to be 4oz before each meal. Anyways!! Wait another 30 minutes.
ORGANIC GRASS FED BONE BROTH. Terrible to me, but so so good for your gut. 19 grams of protein too. So you don’t feel starved. Suppose to heal gut if you drink 2 cups in the morning every day for 7-14 days.
I bought some tabouli salad from Publix. It’s a super food. It’s actually spelled tabbouleh. You can make your own. That’s even better. But I’m lazy. I ate it with some crunchmaster crackers even though I read I wasn’t suppose to eat seeds or nuts.
Then I chopped 1 bell pepper, 1 onion, grated 3 zucchini, grated 1 large carrot, and mixed it with 4 eggs. I added garlic and onion powder, salt and pepper like I always do. Lay on sheet pan, 375 for 20 minutes. It’s a crust less quiche I guess you’d call that.
I also had organic 100% pure cranberry juice, no sugar added. Super bitter. Super benefits. Yikes! It sucks but I’m assuming I’ll get used to it. And KEFIR, I drink strawberry kefir right after.
I have a major sweet tooth!! And I just over ate cantaloupe. That wasn’t good enough, so I also ate a smashed banana with organic cinnamon powder and a little drizzle of LOCAL honey. Papaya is also another fruit you can have.
Everything else was a no for me!! I’m gonna miss dairy and gluten. Can’t even eat beans or lentils with colitis. You can have very bland, plain chicken, turkey, or salmon. No spices. No refined sugar. No processed foods. No eating out. No carbonated drinks otherwise. No caffeine as in coffee or tea.
This was bound to happen to me anyways because I have autoimmune issues but kratom definitely progressed it faster. Happy healing! Cheers! 🤦🏻‍♀️💩 and may the force be with you.

Sylvia https://imgur.com/gallery/GK6ShZQ

Sylvia Rhodes

"One whom strives is one whom succeeds.."

Age: 15
Birthday: August 22, 2024
Godrent: Triton , Leiutenant of the sea..
Identity: Female (she/her), straight ally

Appearance:

Ebony skin, she always wears her hair in fashionable dreads with silver beads strewn through it. Heterechromia: One bright blue eye and one interestingly red-pink eye. No one can explain where it comes from. She has a scar down, diagonal, through her red-pink eye, she covers it with makeup often. Sylvia has snakebite piercings on either side of her bottom lip, that she switches out for shiny metals often, as if changing clothes. Her hair kind of moves like water.

Personality:

Bratty rich girl - She gets what she wants, doesn't matter how she has to achieve it. If she wants it, it's her's. She gets angry easily and is good when it comes to manipulation and playing the victim. She's a bully, you're different? Weirdo. Kind of bully.

Family:

Kira Rhodes: mother, famous model and ex-olympic swimmer, gives her daughter whatever she wants, 39
Triton: father, never met him, hopes he's cool (and possibly hopes he'll give her something if they ever reunite), Greek god
Naomi Rhodes: Kira's wife, stepmom, spoils Sylvia as well, 35, filmstar
Cerberus: her little black lab puppy, 3 months old, not the actual cerberus

Powers:

Weapons:

Trident - "it's pretty and practical, okay, darling?" High heel - "look, they're always there. It makes sense."

Background...

Sylvia was 13 when her mother had to tell her the truth, who her father was.
Sylvia had, unironically, drenched a saleswoman in water from the mall fountain when the woman tried to touch her. Of course; Sylvia doesn't like that. No permission? No access. That's how she works. So of course she did not take kindly to a 'lowly salesperson' grabbing her 3,000 dollar faux-fur jacket.
When her mother explained everything, it seemed that everyone was in the loop. Her mom, her maid, her stepmom, everyone but her. But whatever.
Sylvia was born on one of the Caribbean islands and her and her mother moved to California when her mom stopped representing the Bahamas in the Olympics. That was when her mom's job took off like a rocket. And there she was, the rich, pretty, smart, popular girl at school who came from abroad (or about abroad at it can bs counted) and whose mom(s) were famous. Everyone wanted to be her, or with her, or something like that.
When she was 12, she'd gotten into a bad accident resulting in her scar. And she's ashamed of it.
Then, one of those 'stupid dog penguins' attacked Sylvia while she was at a beach party her school was hosting. Then her moms whisked her away to camp, where she was left to, as she put it, shrivel up and die.

Present...

Sylvia stood at the edge of camp, wearing her baby blue tank-top crop-top and gray jeans with her (3,000 dollar) faux-fur jacket. Her blue heels weren't sinking in the dirt, yet.
She flicks her dreads over her shoulder and starts to walk into camp, standing tall and walking proud. Her while suitcases were all attached to eachother aside from her purse, which hung from her shoulder whilst she dragged the suitcases. She was not happy about this, but atleast her parents allowed her to pack whatever she wished.
So now she made her way down the hill, her silver ring shimmering with a seafoam green sheen. Of course, her Trident was hidden within it.

Hi, long time lurker but idek how to process things right now haha. For some background, I (23 f) definitely have some issues around food. I’m second gen asian american, and my dad came here as a refugee when he was a teenager. He has a lot of trauma about not having enough to eat, very stereotypical walk in pantry, hoarding food, loving deals on food, extreme couponing, etc. He passed on a lot of that to me. I adore fine dining but I also love garbage food or street food. I carry around leftovers and shamelessly wrap things up in napkins and throw them in my purse. I have bags of almonds in my car and stashes of food at all my friends houses. Food is my love language, I love cooking it for my friends, being cooked for, etc.
So two nights ago, my best friend and I took my roommate out to a very expensive steakhouse for his birthday. I don’t have a lot of money but I’m doing okay, I’ve been saving up to take him out for a while because he’s done a lot for me. It was definitely a big treat for us to go though. Since I don’t eat much at once, I had a lot of leftovers (plus the bones my friends didn’t finish so I could chew on them later which I know is weird but let me be happy okay?) I gave my boyfriend the lobster mac but saved the steak for sandwiches for the next couple days.
Yesterday, my bf was having a really bad day. He woke up late for work, had to rush out the door. He was supposed to work just the morning shift but his coworker asked him if he’d cover her night shift since she was hungover, and she’d bring him food. She didn’t, and he was upset. He went from 9 am to 11 pm without eating. Obviously I’m upset too, I offer to doordash him something, I would’ve brought him food but I was working on set. I get worried about him because he doesn’t eat sometimes, and because he was having a bad day he was already super withdrawn. He told me he’d make pasta when he got home.
I guess you see where this is going, he ate my steak, I was absolutely devastated. His reasoning was that he had brought me food from set the previous day but in my mind it’s nowhere close. I know I shouldn’t have but I blew up at him, cried a lot, etc. He offered to take me to another steak house but it’s not about the steak it’s about how I build up this food in my head and think about it several times a day looking forward to eating it and then it’s not there. I told him that and he told me I should bring that up with my therapist. Is my relationship with food is unhealthy? I’ve had issues before where people touch my food without asking so I’m wondering if it’s me. I feel guilty for yelling at him and then running out the door and crying in my car. AITA?

Close to the start of last month me (23m) and my girlfriend (21f) broke up. It was completely my fault and I did repeated actions that had caused problems before. This was my first serious realtionship it lasted 1 year and 3 months. A few days after she asked if we could still be friends or at the very least fuck buddies.
Well yesterday was my 24th Birthday and it was horrible. The conversations with people just coming to a standstill and being left on read/ sent. Hurt so much I haven't felt this alone. To make matters worse the day prior I had got back home from taken my ex on a 3.5 hour drive to her new job and helped her unpack (I had offered). The state of the staff living were horrible. So I don't blame for asking me to help repack her and driving her home. I don't think trip was a waste. I felt so good spending almost 2 days with her alone.
But to go from that to feeling so alone and having being left on sent for 24+ hours now on top of how I was already feeling really sucks. I reached to my friend of 19 years (23m) and told him about how lost and alone I felt. The worst part is any notification I get washes this feel dread and isolation untill I see it wasn't her,The feeling just gets bigger. At least other people messaged even if it was just happy birthday
I don't know what to do
TL;Dr 24m and 21f broke up a month ago, spent over 24hours with her driving across the province the next day on my birthday I feel like everyone ghosted me especially my ex who wanted to stay friends/fwbs

i'm 20F my mom is in her late 40's ,my mom and dad are together.
I first caught her when i was 15 years old, i was young and a teenager back then and that really had a bad effect on me, IT SCREWED ME UP MENTALLY cause i never thought that my mom would do that, she was an angel to me.
i remember reading her texts and seeing that she was texting a family friend, they were talking dirty, calling each other on the phone etc, i remember that she secretly sent him a huge amount of money (my dad's money because he provides), and i remember him sending her a picture of his id card and stuff still don't know why.
i also remember them sexting a lot, her sending him some adult pictures of her (which made me go insane) and him sending her corn videos, that was soo disgusting .
at that age i knew that i was not mature enough to take the right decision, i was confused , and that's why i didn't tell my dad, but i told my brothers and they refused to believe me. one day i faced her about it and i cried begging her to stop texting that man and she told me she will stop.
my relationship with her changed a lot during that time, she started hating me a lot, and becoming more aggressive towards me.
then i took the decision to not give an f anymore, i thought maybe she will get bored at some point or realize that she's doing something wrong as a mom of 5 kids and if my dad founds out then i'll pretend that i knew nothing so i don't loose his trust as well.
5 years passed by and she is still in the same situation as before and even worse, i remember 2 years ago i checked her second phone(that i didn't know she had) and i saw that she had a fake profile on facebook and its full of dudes in her dms and weird ass groups i was like WHAT THE ACTUAL F* i was shocked then i put the phone away cuz i had enough.
Yesterday, a weird number called her and it was another man i pretended that nothing happened and that i didn't see her phone ringing.
it was yesterday when i realized that she's still going through the same pathway.
what should i do? i don't care about her life, if she's happy with those men then be it, i'm actually worried about my dad, he has abnormal anger issues. he will probably murder her if he founds out, and i'm worried about my reputation as a woman of such society, i don't do these stuff and i never had a boyfriend.
my question is :how can i put an end to this ? should i play dumb for the rest of my life til dad founds out and something bigger happens or just move on and move out ?
btw i come from a conservative 3rd world country, the things that my mom is doing are considered as very shameful and dangerous acts, especially as a woman it's risky here and she knows it. Even if my father murders her one day no one can do anything, men murder women here, yesterday our neighbor stabbed his wife to death, and all the blame was put on her, i'm really worried.

I (F19) have been dating my boyfriend (M22) for 8 months now. Two months ago, I discovered my worst nightmare when I decided to go through his phone.
When I went through his phone, I not only found masses of porn but also pictures of his ex (F21) and her being on his ignored friend requests on Snapchat (meaning he’d removed her, but she still had him added). I’d checked this before because we’d previously had issues with his ex, but she wasn’t there, so it was recent. He also had a call to her on Valentine's Day. After some prying and a ton of lying from him, we actually talked about it. He said he only sent food for the cat and that he’d stop the porn. A few days later, I gave him an ultimatum: - Stop communication with her, only send food for the cat. - You don’t need to save pictures of the cat with her in it. - No more porn.
He agreed and promised to follow these conditions.
After this, when I looked at his search history, it had been deleted, so he only had two days of history. I asked about it after a few weeks, and he told me this was because of “my birthday presents being on there” and how “he doesn’t want me to see since I checked before.” Even though none of his lies lined up with when I checked, I ignored it.
Now, I’ve found him searching for porn again. He told me it’s just from an open tab. I don’t believe him, but he insists that he didn’t watch porn and that he’s followed the ultimatum. I still can’t believe him, and I’m not sure if I should stand my ground and leave or stay and work things out. Because of his past of lying, I feel like I’m walking into a trap. But i also feel like we have so much potential because i love him dearly.
I know a lot of people are going to get upset that I’ve checked his phone, but he told me he was fine with it and open to it, and I wouldn’t have a problem if he checked mine.
For additional information:
He and his ex were married, dated for 4 years, got matching tattoos, and had a stillborn.
At the start of our relationship, he led me to believe he was someone who never let exes back no matter what, someone who got rid of them the second they messed up. So, to find out he was still contacting her was shocking. I would’ve understood given their situation with the cat and the stillborn. It’s just the way he’s made himself seem, only to be lying the whole time.
I did not know about them being married or having a stillborn until a few weeks in. At that point, I felt I was too deep into the relationship to throw away what we had. He told me he was “too scared to tell me” and he “wanted to wait until the right time,” which I can understand.
For a few weeks after, he was being funny about giving me his Instagram, so I made a new account and found out he’d blocked me on it. I also found out he was still following his ex and she was following him. This stopped once I confronted him and he followed me instead.
Another few months later, I found provocative pictures of women on his Pinterest saves. He obviously just said that he saved them because they dressed like me, which some did, but out of the 15 pictures, only 4 did. The rest were just women in underwear.

i'm 20F my mom is in her late 40's ,my mom and dad are together.
I first caught her when i was 15 years old, i was young and a teenager back then and that really had a bad effect on me, IT SCREWED ME UP MENTALLY cause i never thought that my mom would do that, she was an angel to me.
i remember reading her texts and seeing that she was texting a family friend, they were talking dirty, calling each other on the phone etc, i remember that she secretly sent him a huge amount of money (my dad's money because he provides), and i remember him sending her a picture of his id card and stuff still don't know why.
i also remember them sexting a lot, her sending him some adult pictures of her (which made me go insane) and him sending her corn videos, that was soo disgusting .
at that age i knew that i was not mature enough to take the right decision, i was confused , and that's why i didn't tell my dad, but i told my brothers and they refused to believe me. one day i faced her about it and i cried begging her to stop texting that man and she told me she will stop.
my relationship with her changed a lot during that time, she started hating me a lot, and becoming more aggressive towards me.
then i took the decision to not give an f anymore, i thought maybe she will get bored at some point or realize that she's doing something wrong as a mom of 5 kids and if my dad founds out then i'll pretend that i knew nothing so i don't loose his trust as well.
5 years passed by and she is still in the same situation as before and even worse, i remember 2 years ago i checked her second phone(that i didn't know she had) and i saw that she had a fake profile on facebook and its full of dudes in her dms and weird ass groups i was like WHAT THE ACTUAL F* i was shocked then i put the phone away cuz i had enough.
Yesterday, a weird number called her and it was another man i pretended that nothing happened and that i didn't see her phone ringing.
it was yesterday when i realized that she's still going through the same pathway.
what should i do? i don't care about her life, if she's happy with those men then be it, i'm actually worried about my dad, he has abnormal anger issues. he will probably murder her if he founds out, and i'm worried about my reputation as a woman of such society, i don't do these stuff and i never had a boyfriend.
my question is :how can i put an end to this ? should i play dumb for the rest of my life til dad founds out and something bigger happens or just move on and move out ?
btw i come from a conservative 3rd world country, the things that my mom is doing are considered as very shameful and dangerous acts, especially as a woman it's risky here and she knows it. Even if my father murders her one day no one can do anything, men murder women here, yesterday our neighbor stabbed his wife to death, and all the blame was put on her, i'm really worried.

How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
I'm 19y/o. I would say Im a calm person, unless when im tired or when someone angers me. Im the balance between energetic and no energy person. I dont like sticking to one opinion because it feels like im limiting myself, so i guess im open minded. I dont really care about what people think of me unless its about my attitude or if i hurt someone unintentionally. i cant watch kdramas that r js typical, it feels so shallow and cringy. I also like psycho analyzing people. I also overanalyze someone's actions towards me. When i talk about a topic, i mostly talk the generality of it, but sometimes i think about every possible details which makes it hard to commit to one, for example: let’s say someone says you choose your own reality, in a way i get what they mean but i also think abt ppl who actually cant choose their reality. Drake and kendrick dissing each other, my brother asked me whose side im on, which i honestly dont give a crap, because its not connected to me neither i dont care who they are, feels insignificant to waste my brain cells on that thing. I also dont like rude people, like i get you have a painful past but that doesnt excuse how you treat me, i deserve to be treated like a normal human being. The line between right or wrong is kinda hard for me, i think theres no right or wrong in reality, its just based on people’s values and morals. Which ofc i do have.
Is there a medical diagnosis that impact your mental/compartmental stability somehow?
not that i know of
Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
im not religious but i do believe there is some force that does things
What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
im an architecture student, so far i like it, designing a specific building for a specific person to suit their needs and comfort, how they would function inside it, my fav architect is antoni gaudi bc his works, every building's detail has a function or a meaning to it, which is not just existing but serving it's purpose
If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
for right now, i would feel refreshed bc semester just ended and i need to restore my sanity, but if im feeling energetic then i would rather spend it with my friends,
What is your relation with movement and your surroundings? For instance do you prefer a sport or outdoors event? If an outdoors event what is it? And why? If not what type of activities do you tend to engage i?
im not really good at sports, but i do like running it makes me happy i dont know why, i like doing stuff that requires my brain like puzzles, sudoku, video games, movies with complicated plot
How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
honestly depends of what mood im in, but since im an architecture student i tend to touch every material, and be curious about the function of the elements. i like listening to interesting takes on life or anything, that is different from others, but generally idk if im curious or not. im not sure if this considers as curious or not, but i like thinking about life, what is the purpose of humans, why they act selfish or why they act like a bitch generally, trying to find an answer to anything.
Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
i like leadership positions, i like being in control, i like being organized, i think i will do a perfect as a manager lol. when im traveling with my friends i always do the bookings, transport, almost everything
Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
im kinda clumsy but i have great reflexes, i dont really pay attention to my surroundings like if im traveling in a group and some stranger says something i only find out after my friend tells me about it. i like painting, it feels so calm
Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
i like painting, bc i like blending colors, it just feels so free yk. i like listening to music, i listen to almost every genre based on my mood that day, i rly wanna learn how to play on a piano
What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
i dont think about the past, present, sometimes future but lately i stopped worrying about the future instead just making plans, i mostly just think about anything that doesnt really involve time, i be thinking about life, people, or any concept, or just making my own opinions
How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
i like to help even if doesnt benefit me, but if its something absurd then fuck no, im a straightforward person you see, if i dont want to help i js straight up say sry cant help
Do you need logical consistency in your life?
define logical consistency
How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
It is important to me, im more work first, play later person. ive been thinking lately, i thought i wasnt a competitive person but during the process idc if im not the best or worst, but at the result i actually do care, i want to be better, idk why it contradicts, the process and the result
Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
mostly to gain something for myself, when i want something i plan like a scenario in my head of how they would react and what i would say
What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
is it weird that i realized i dont have any beneficial hobbies, ex: playing video games, drawing, im not consistent at anything, i start something and drop it
What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
i like organized teachers, i also like teachers who talk in an interesting way, like connecting the subject to real life or anything interesting. i like teachers who talk in broad sense and not yappers. im really bad at memorizing things, i try to understand rather than memorizing, i like my design classes because u can create something meaningful and good as long as its serving a purpose
How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
before i start doing any project first i break it up into simples things then start doing it
What's important to you and why?
i honestly dont know, as most people say happiness, its not for me, i dont think i know the meaning of true happiness, i dont really feel happy i just feel calm, my main purpose in life isnt being happy, im fine with not being happy. but i do wanna live without worrying about anything
What are your aspirations?
i want to be a good architect that will change my city to a better one, but first i need the power in order to do so. i want to be smarter and more knowledgeable and skillful
What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
i dont like selfish people, but at the same time in try to understand their angle so its kinda hard for me to js say wow shes so selfish bc there r so many perspectives spilling in my head that makes it hard to contribute to one (it happens always, but im working on it). I dont like people who dont try to understand the other person. I hate rooms without windows because it feels so uncomfy, mostly because i need to see the sky to live, if no sky then i feel trapped inside it
What do the "highs" in your life look like?
no worries, like talking to people
What do the "lows" in your life look like?
see the worst in people
How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
as i said i dont really pay attention to my surroundings, sometimes im in deep thought but would really call it daydreaming. When im meeting someone i dont see their outfits but more of what kind of person they are
How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
i do pros and cons, consequences, if its risky but worth the result then im doing it
How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
for now i feel numb, i dont rly care about anything right now prolly bc i didnt sleep for few days doing my project. but i do think its important to open up to someone or tell them what u didnt appreciate about their actions towards you, and communication is the key. but i feel uncomfortable opening about my depressive thoughts because it feels like im asking for attention, but i do say it straightforwardly about questionable actions done towards, bc some people think youre okay to mess with, so if u shut them down at low there wont be high
Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
not really, im not a people pleaser, but sometimes i dont really want to argue i dont agree i just say "i see", since that sentence isnt agreeing nor disagreeing
Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why would you?
depends on the rule, if its messing with my values then i first think about the consequence, if its mild then fuck the rules
What is the ideal life, in your opinion?
having the power to change things
Please ask me questions

My 5-year partner has a female workmate that I feel uncomfortable with. They’re the only ones in the same age group at the company, so naturally, they became close to the point where they eat breakfast together in the cafeteria, go out (with other workmates) for drinks and such, play sports, and sometimes talk about random stuff (song and clothing recommendations) outside work hours. Honestly, they have similar interests, so maybe they vibed. Now, they have an upcoming work event, and I'm happy for my partner that he’ll experience this, but at the same time, I feel kinda sad that he’s going to do all those fun activities with her and not me. I'm just scared it might reach a point where my partner enjoys her company more than mine.
I opened this up with my partner, and he assured me that nothing’s going on, that they’re just friends, but I can’t help but overthink the possibilities. My boyfriend hasn’t lacked in reassuring me, so maybe I really am the problem lol. It also doesn’t help that I keep reading about cheating on subreddits, even among married couples, there are still affairs, my goodness. I've been cheated on in the past, so maybe that’s why I'm like this. I want to trust my partner completely, but being in a long-distance relationship with such different careers makes me feel a bit insecure about his close work friendship 🥹
any advice? How do I go with this? How do I fully trust my partner?
TLDR: Struggling to trust due to past trauma and overthinking. My 5-year partner has a close female workmate, which makes me insecure despite his reassurances. I fear he'll enjoy her company more than mine, especially since we're in a long-distance relationship. Past cheating experiences and seeing stories of infidelity add to my anxiety.