Hello,
I have been meaning to post her for a bit but have been doing a lot of reading. My (M34) wife (F33) of 4.5 years and together in total about 9 years with a 3 year old son, had an ~15 month long affair with a coworker. He lives on the other side of the country so it was EA with a lot of sexuality that turned into full blown PA at a 3 day work retreat.
I found out because he was fired from his job for unrelated issues, when reviewing his logs, they found explicit conversations with my wife. She was able to keep her job but someone involved with her HR department or someone she told sent me an anonymous email. She played dumb at first and said she had no idea what they were talking about. That night, I checked her text and didn't see much but noticed the text chain with her best friend was gone. I found it in the recently deleted. It was clear of the EA at that point. She finally admitted only with the proof but insisted it was only EA. I found a lot more proof that night that more had happened and the next day (also my birthday) she finally admitted that it was a full PA and gave a basic timeline of events. This all went down about 7 weeks ago, in late March.
We both had underlying issues that put our relationship in a state where she felt the desire to have an affair. But she has taken taken responsibility for it being 100% on her.
They used WhatApp to text and exchange photos but set it to delete after 24 hours so that is all gone. Some of the things I saw in the emails/text from when we were out of country and she had to use email. Including lots of I love you, describing the acts, talking about the marks he left, how he owned her, and how they couldn't wait to be together. We were looking into moving during the affair and she was pushing hard to move to the are where he lived. She texted her BFF how should could then divorce me when I was out there so our son would be stuck out there.
She still has a ton of 'mental blocks' regarding the whole affair and cannot give me many answers that seem like she should know. Both of us are in IC and just started MC.
She told me that if he reached out, she would let me know right away. A few weeks ago, he reached out to her saying that he needed to talk via a new phone number. She told me after a few hours and she contemplated responding but did not. She did not block him. A week later he sent a follow up text blaming her for ruining his life and putting the affair on her. He is also married with 2 kids and I told OBS within a few hours of finding out.
She let me know about this second text after about 7 hours because the time was just not right and she was busy being out to dinner with her girlfriends. I asked if she would block him now and she said she would. I did not see if she did it right then or now. A few days later, on last Tuesday, I asked if he was blocked and she said no, she forgot to do it and went to do it then. A day later, I took her phone and deleted the text because he listed other ways to contact him and I didn't want to have that. She noticed that the text was gone and had issue with it, and it in part started a fight.
Fast-forward to last night, I check to see if he was still blocked and he was not. She admitted to unblocking him on Friday. By her words, she was mad that I deleted the text, it reminder her that he was garbage. She was hoping that when she unblocked him, she could get it back or that he sent another one like that to remind her. She then realized that's not how it work. At that point, since the text were gone, and she removed the block, she did have his phone number and could not reblock him. She never told me about any of this. I have no idea if she had reached out to him in the mean time and no way to know if they set up another way to communicate.
She is making an argument that she never made a promise to keep him blocked and that it was just a moment of weakness..
I did get very upset and said some nasty things. I have done a very good job not doing that until this point. She also lost her control as well and got very aggressive in response to my anger.
For the most part in our R she has been putting in the work. Some days are better than other but we have both improved in our communication but still have a long way to go. We do both have lapse in our communication that have led to arguments 1-2 per week.
What I am looking for here is any input. Is R still viable? Is she creating a pattern of behaviors that she won't be able to break? Anything that you guys may see that I am missing. I have it marked as advice welcomed, I would like to hear from anyone who wants to share.
Thank you.

Today I would like to answer this question: should you unblock them to tell them not to call you?
This is a pretty common situation when dealing with someone manipulative. Picture this: you're trying to keep your distance and move on. You've even blocked their number, but they still find ways to contact you, maybe through an anonymous number. However, if you're pretty keen, you've been recognizing it's them every time. They may keep calling until it becomes downright annoying. So you might consider unblocking them to set things straight, to tell them to stop calling. But is that wise? Should you unblock them just to deliver that message?
Actually, that's the last thing you should do. It's unproductive and counterproductive to block someone just to unblock them later. It's best to maintain the block because unblocking them still leaves the door open for communication. There are several reasons why unblocking them isn't a good idea.
Firstly, there's the potential for manipulation. Abusive individuals excel at pressing people's buttons, and reopening communication with them can put you at risk of being manipulated again. That's how they gained control over you initially. They're incredibly persuasive and skilled at using various tactics, even ones you least expect, like involving your children or family, to manipulate you and regain control. So, simply informing them that you're blocking them again reopens that communication, making you vulnerable to manipulation, especially if you haven't fully understood yourself or your boundaries. If you're still in the early stages, feeling vulnerable, desperate, or struggling, it's best not to unblock them.
Another aspect to consider is the potential for emotional pain. When you haven't fully healed, the wounds are still raw, right? You find yourself constantly triggered. So, unblocking them is like reopening those wounds. Even if you've been moving forward and living a normal life, just hearing their voice or reading their texts can bring back all those painful memories. It's a trigger that reminds you of the past and the harm they caused. So, by unblocking them just to block them again, you're essentially hurting yourself.
Another crucial aspect to consider is the message you send by unblocking them. It signals to them that you're still available and open to communication, creating a sense of hope for them. They interpret this as an opportunity to try again, perhaps with a different approach. It's like you're indicating that you're within their reach. Consequently, they may persistently continue their attempts to contact you, fueled by the belief that they can still win you back. For instance, you might send them a text one day, and the next, they respond with apologies and promises to change their behavior. By reopening communication in this way, you indirectly show them that you're still invested, giving them a glimmer of hope for reconciliation.
So, it's best not to unblock them at all. If their calls are still bothering you, it suggests there's still some work to be done in you. This is what inner work is all about—reaching a point where their attempts to contact you no longer affect you. Even if they call you 40 times a day, you'll remain indifferent because you understand their desperation. You're aware that there's nothing positive to gain from rekindling a relationship with someone who avoids accountability for their harmful actions. You've internalized this understanding.
So, focus on healing yourself instead of unblocking them. Maintain the block and work on reaching a state where their attempts to reach you won't faze you. Eventually, they'll tire of trying when they realize you're truly moving on and seeking someone else. That's just how life works. Giving them even the slightest bit of attention shows them a way to access you again.
Note from the Author
If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

I was in a 2.5-year relationship with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The beginning was great; we connected deeply, staying up late talking and feeling a strong bond. However, after about six months, doubts started to creep in on her part, and she frequently questioned my empathy and commitment.
The relationship was marked by severe depressive episodes, during which she attempted suicide three times. The first attempt happened when she tried to overdose. I took her to the hospital, which was quite traumatic for me. The second attempt occurred at her place when she tried to slit her wrists. She also talked about trying to slit her wrists in the wrong way so she wouldn’t die and her father would finally see her real pain and take her back in. The third attempt was in Indonesia, where we stayed together for 5 months. She broke up with me and 2 days later drank two liters of gin and took 105 pills. She texted me on Instagram, saying, "I’m sorry I'm doing this, but if you're reading this, I'm probably almost gone. Please call the police" I rushed to her with a motorbike and found her completely unconscious in the bathroom. It was a horrifying experience, and I managed to get her to the hospital in time. She was in a coma for two days. I remained by her bedside for most of it (only time i wasn’t there was when i was showering or sleeping. She said in her suicide voice memo that she hoped I’d see what I “did to her”.
Throughout our relationship, she changed rapidly between idealizing me and devaluing me, calling me names like "narcissist," "selfish," and "lacking empathy.". At other times she thought i was the absolute most amazing guy she ever met. We talked so many times about starting a family together at a later point in our lives (we are both in our twenties).
Despite all the doubts about me, I always tried to support her and for example went through therapy together to work on our problems.
The story of how we initially got together is also complicated. She agreed to go out with me initially to make another guy, whom I'll call Peter, jealous. Peter and her were in love when they were 16, she however ended up going with another guy. Peter had called her a bitch, and she wanted to get back at him. Despite our toxic start, we developed deep feelings for each other, but Peter remained a symbolic presence in the background, as she never truly closed that chapter.
Eventually, I discovered she was texting another man extensively, even while we were still together. She had thousands of messages with him, filled with affectionate terms like "honey." and photos in her lingerie. "Please just fuck me" When I confronted her, she initially claimed she had set it all up to drive me away so she could commit suicide without my interference. Later, she admitted she genuinely felt seen by him, contrasting with her feelings towards me. She said she didn't delete the messages because she wanted me to find out and leave her, enabling her to end her life without feeling responsible for hurting me directly. Which again turned out to he a lie. She even met him (in my clothing even) and they kissed. Her third suicide attempt happened just after i confronted her about all this. She smashed a mirror and tried to slit her wrists, but I had already called the police. They broke down the door to save her. Each of these suicide attempts left me feeling deeply traumatized and helpless.
After another breakup, she quickly moved on and began seeing other people, which shattered my self-confidence. She also started using Tinder, which she previously mocked as something only "losers" use. Her inconsistent behavior and frequent changes of mind about our relationship and future plans left me confused and hurt. For example, she would tell me one week that she couldn’t imagine being in another relationship for years, she wanted to work on herself. Two and a half weeks later after a fight, she was eager to start a new relationship. I quote: “I’m a relationship girl.” “Im really looking forward to being in a new relationship, just not with you.”
She often felt i was not being supportive enough. For instance, once when she was sick, she texted me early in the morning that she couldn’t sleep, and later expressed her disliking of me not physically helping her, calling me an "empathiless jerk." I was never enough for her. I never truly made her feel safe and seen. I (and she) always blamed me for this.
After she cheated and we broke up for the approx. millionth time, I still helped her move out and tried to be supportive. This pattern of me trying to fix things while she repeatedly engaged in deep destructive behavior has left me very traumatized.
Eventually, after we broke up for the final time, she told me she wanted to meet up with “Peter”. Despite her previous claims that she wouldn't see him because it would be hurtful to me, she said it felt strange that she couldn't meet him now that we had broken up. I told her i severely wouldn’t like it but i couldn’t stop her. She met with him and quickly became infatuated, telling me how seen and understood she felt by him. This was especially painful because he was always in the background during our relationship, and now she expressed feelings for him. She also expressed how this guy has quite some impracticalities but she really feels seen and safe with him, in contrast with me.
She looks for someone to give her security and identity. She is trying to fill a void that will never be full. She was so self-aware of this pattern, but when we broke up for the final time, she slipped right back into it. Like she had no reflection whatsover when she is truly alone. Maybe if she would fix herself, she can stop hurting herself and those that love her (me and her future boyfriends perhaps)
I recently unblocked her and look at what she is posting on tiktok and instagram. I hoped to see something of her rebound which would make it easier for me to move on. Nothing about him though. But she did recently made a video about narcissism. She’s keeping it anonymous but some points (not all) are definitely about me. I agree with some points though. For example: when she talks about something she dislikes about me, like wanting me to act differently, i could get very defensive. I would explain why i did a certain behaviour, instead of trying to understand her. I could also get frustrated and angry because i felt so not valued. I gave up my own mental health for her and chewed through multiple traumas, but it was never enough. There was always something in which i failed her. She always felt not seen and unsafe. This is what frustrated me so much, i didn’t even know so i just responded with anger and frustration when she wanted to bring up something which she disliked about me. “Don’t you see what I’m giving up for you? Don’t you see how many things i eat up, just so we don’t fight?” She correlates this anger, defensiveness and frustration with narcissism, that hurts me. Perhaps we should’ve had a better talk about this. Its all what-ifs now. It hurts.
I should’ve never ever prioritised her well being over my own.
I’m currently struggling to move on. I think about her constantly, dream about her every night, and feel jealous of her new rebound, despite knowing how toxic she was for me. What makes this so hard is that she is so beautiful too, she is an absolutely stunning woman to look at. I cant keep my mind off of her. I long for her. I was and am so extremely in love with her. My friends and therapist (and myself) see how harmful this relationship was. Her extremely impulsive, emotionally driven and destructive behaviour has scarred my capability to love. yet I find myself longing to fix things and be there for her. I’m so mad at her for putting me through all this pain, but at the same time, I’ve lost my best friend, my lover, and my biggest cheerleader.
How can I move on from this? How do I stop thinking about her (and this new guy) and focus on my own well-being?

BB's chakras are under attack. I expect that you all will be as disturbed by this revelation as I am and will take appropriate measures to protect your own chakras. Here's a breakdown since it appears the majority of people in here are blocked.
We start out by accusing EEH of stealing money from her. I'm done even trying to explain the gazillion ways this has been disproven. Then, EEH tried to be a hero by not only allowing BB to see the daughter she abandoned, but providing transportation and paying for the outing because BB is a fucking loser who can't afford a movie ticket at 36 years old. Of course, shortly after EEH allowing BB to see their daughter (against his better judgment, I'm sure), Bonnie started her usual shit of accusing him of incest, sex trafficking, money laundering, and various other kinds of abuse in addition to questioning her daughter via text (which she proudly posted screenshots of) about the status of "her" house. So EEH rightly cut off communication, thus blocking Bonnie's chakras.
For the next example of chakra blocking, BB reminds us that she was stuck in Mexico and down to her last dollar and her ex boyfriend offered to get her home from Mexico and allow her to stay with him until her multimillion dollar inheritance was delivered. She is now accusing him of holding her hostage and attacking her sacral chakra. Sounds legit. She also forgets to mention that she chose to go to Mexico knowing she only had credit cards that she couldn't pay on and were going to be shut off. She chose to stay at a luxury resort until the hotel caretaker tried to murder her and Brother Lover showed up to stalk her. But somehow all of this is
Then, she moved into a hotel for three months and told everyone at the pizza place she works at about how she was homeless and destitute and no one offered to help her. Bonnie, I'd like to apologize on behalf of your 17 year old coworkers who didn't offer to buy you a home or car and/or give you all their tip money. That was wrong of them. Everyone knows you're the center of the universe. They know this because you tell them daily. It is inexcusable that people around you chose to live their own lives and not devote themselves to financially supporting you.
Then, one of her customers "helped" her get into her apartment. I'm gonna go ahead and just suggest that our girl was serving him more than a slice and a Coke at the pizza joint because who TF just cosigns on an apartment for the hell of it? Then we get into the wishlist. This is my personal favorite. Whenever I need a good laugh, I rewatch the video of BB crying with gratitude about some anonymous benefactor who purchased everything on her wish list and berating anyone who suggests she's been scammed. Spoiler alert: she was scammed and no one likes her enough to buy her anything unless she's putting out for them which - let's be honest - is about the only thing she's good for at this point. Also, the chakra blocking caused her to quit her job which ironically coincided with the same week she got the keys to her new apartment that some sucker is paying for.
Anyway, that's a summary of how Bonnie's chakras are being blocked. She's pretty angry about it. Hasn't she been educating people for like two years now on how to unblock chakras and heal their trauma? You'd think she would have figured out by now how to unblock her own chakras.

Hey everyone!
I know a lot of us are feeling a bit iffy about Google's new AI overviews in search results. It’s definitely a big change, and not everyone is loving it. If you’re like me and thinking it might be time to explore other options, you’re in luck! we’ve put together a list of some top-notch Google alternatives that might just become your new go-to search engine. Let’s dive in and find something that works better for us!

1. Bing

Bing is one of the top unblocked search engine and the best Google alternative. According to Similarweb, Bing is one of the most visited american search engine. It is owned and operated by Microsoft. First launched in 2009 as a replacement for live search, and since then, it has been a popular search engine with millions of people using it around the globe.
Bing is designed to assist users in finding a wide range of information on the web. This includes everything from images and articles to maps and videos. In general, Bing is great for searching for broadly available information on the internet, such as details about a specific topic or person.
In 2023, Microsoft Introduced an AI-powered Bing chat bot (Co-pilot) in the search engine that can provide more personalized results for users.
Read more How to Use Bing AI?

Features of Bing

• Web search: Bing allows its users to search the internet web for information about a broad variety of subjects and topics, including blogs, articles, news, images, videos, and maps.
• Deep Search: Microsoft Bing's "Deep Search" feature offers enhanced, detailed answers to complex queries, improving web exploration without replacing the current search function.
• Privacy: It offers users top-notch privacy protection. It does not track any personal information or browsing history of users.
• Copilot: Copilot's AI offers generative text and images, analysis, and internet-connected updates to enhance productivity in writing, research, and creativity, including poem, essay, song creation, math, coding, and image generation.
• Image, video, and news search: Bings image, video, and news search options allow users to search and discover images, videos, and news articles from a range of sources.
• Maps and directions: Bing Maps and direction option offers users thorough maps and turn-by-turn directions for driving, walking, or using public transportation.
• Translation: It comes with a translation tool name Bing Translator. It allows the user to translate text and web pages from one language to another.
• Personalization: Users can personalize their search experience with Bing. The process is to set by saving search history and setting preferences for language and location.
• Mobile apps: Its iOS and Android apps make it widely available on mobile devices.
• Integration with other Microsoft products: It is integrated with numerous other products of Microsoft, such as - Office, Windows, and Xbox. Users can search for information and access Bing services from within these products.

2. Yahoo

Yahoo is a web search engine founded in 1994. It is one of the prominent and earliest search engines that provide users with a great search engine experience.
Yahoo is a web services company that offers a variety of products and services, including search, news, finance, sports, and entertainment.

Features of Yahoo

• Yahoo Search: Yahoo's search engine helps users to search the internet, web, images, and videos.
• Privacy: Their priority is to give users proper privacy protection to make the user feel safe and at home.
• Yahoo Mail: Yahoo Mail is an email service used to send and receive emails as well as organize inboxes with features like spam protection, customizable themes, and calendar integration.
• Yahoo News: It is a news website. It provides users with the latest headlines, news coverage, articles, and analysis of current events from a variety of topics and sources.
• Yahoo Finance: It offers information on financial news, data, and analysis about the stock market and business.
• Yahoo Sports: It is a sports news website. It offers information like - scores, updates, and stats for a variety of sports.
• Yahoo Entertainment: It is an entertainment website. It offers the latest movies, TV shows, celebrity news, and more.

3. DuckDuckGo

DuckDuckGo
DuckDuckGo is one of the best search engines you can use instead of any leading search engines for privacy. Its prime appeal is to give you search privacy. It does not track or collect user data and aims to protect users' online privacy.

Features of DuckDuckGo

• Privacy protection: DuckDuckGo provides the best search privacy. It does not track users' information or searches. Also, it does not offer personalized search results or ads.
• Encrypted connections: It protects the user’s data using encrypted connections. It secures data from being intercepted by third parties.
• Anonymous searching: It offers an anonymous web search option. Users can search anonymously without leaving any trace of their searches. Works as one of the top search engine for anonymous browsing.
• Smarter search: It provides users with relevant search results with their own search algorithms. Also, they offer instant answers to frequent and common queries.
• Customization: It allows its users to customize their search experience with options like dark mode, regional settings, and more.
• Mobile app: It offers a mobile app. Users can search the web and access privacy-focused features on the go.
• Browser extension: It provides a browser extension. It helps block tracking cookies and protects their privacy while browsing the web.

Related Read: Best AI Search Engines
There are more... read the full article from here- https://dorik.com/blog/alternative-search-engines

DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. I am NOT OP. Original post by u/OddDot5178 in AITAH
trigger warnings: possible transphobia, possible mental health issues, manipulation
​
NOTE: Because everyone will wonder, I am addressing this right now. While OOP's child identifies as non-binary, she uses "she/her" pronouns and presents as a female. This is why OOP refers to her as her daughter.

AITAH For Not Wanting To Raise My NB Daughter's Baby? - Feb 7, 2024
My daughter came to me at 16 and said she was non-binary, but only sometimes. Like, some days she would feel more male than female and some days she would feel like neither. She wanted me to ask her every day what day it was and then refer to her as that pronoun of the day.
I told her that wasn’t going to fly. Growing up, I spent a lot of time on LJ (Livejournal) during the ol’ ‘bun-self’ and ‘zen-self’ ‘zir-self’ days. People who think this is new to this generation are fooling themselves. I told her that I would call her the pronoun she wanted, and do my best to remember it day to day, but she was going to have to tell me what she wanted for that day. I wasn’t going to play a daily guessing game.
This went on for about a week or two until she finally seemed to grow tired or bored and just said I could call her ‘her’. Though she still identifies as non-binary. Fine. (At least when it was going on she wanted ‘she, he, or they’ — I’m sorry but I couldn’t have done fox-self/fox-them with a straight face).
So that’s the pronoun story and looking back where I think things started to go off the handle. Here’s my real question.
My daughter is now 18, pregnant, and seems to have lost her god damned mind. Or I’m an asshole. You choose.
This year has been a struggle. She wanted to take a break year before she goes to community college, but can’t keep a job. Apparently, retail situations are too phobic against her non-binary state. (My child looks/acts/dresses exactly as a young adult female btw. When I ask how people are being phobic against her, she gets as prickly as a cactus so I really don’t know the details.). She’s been through 4 or 5 jobs this year, quit all of them. She won’t consider call centers that aren’t face to face because she doesn’t like to talk on phones, and is apparently looking for a remote job without any luck.
She’s been unemployed since Thanksgiving (she quit her last job on Black Friday, in fact) and I was on the verge of laying down the law, telling her she either needs to go to school this upcoming semester full time or get a full time job or move out with her friends.
But now she’s come to me and she’s 5 months pregnant. She’s very angry at me, says it’s my fault because:

• I didn’t put her on puberty-blocking hormones when she came to me 2 years ago.
• She believes I am in fact trying to ‘feminize her’ by getting her birth control. (The pill.). She’s been throwing her prescription away.

This is where I might be the asshole. I called her a little idiot. We don’t use that sort of language in my house, and I never call people names — especially my own child — but at that moment I could just see red.
The hormone thing is a non-issue IMO because this is the first time I ever heard of her wanting hormones. What was I supposed to do? Go back in time?
As for the birth control! It’s also the first time I’m hearing anything about this! There are non-pill options that don’t have estrogen. If that was her want, all she had to do was ask and I would have driven her to the doctor myself! Or she could have taken the car she has and done it. She has her own medical card, even! Though to be fair, I don’t know how she would have managed the co-pay without a job. I know for a fact her old high school gave out free condoms like candy because her friends were always giggling over flavored sample packs and even blew a few of them up like balloons and left them around the house one time. She had all the birth control she could ever want and used none of it.
It gets worse.
We’re way past the date of abortion (again, I would have helped her if this had been her wish! We live in an abortion protected state and can afford it!). She’s known she was pregnant since about 2 months and has come to think of her baby like a sibling. She expects me to raise it like it was mine. That this is my duty, in fact, because she says it is my refusal to accept her non-binary state that led to her being pregnant. So she was going to get a brother or sister and I was going to have another child.
You can say my language grew … sterner to versions of ‘Get your head out of your ass’ and ‘Congratulations, mommy, you have some hard decisions to make’, and I said I would absolutely not raise her baby for her.
She also refused to say who the father was. Now that I’ve cooled down, I’m really hoping she has a secret boyfriend. She does have some friends who were born male, but now also don’t identify that way. We didn’t even get there as I lost my mind when she said she thinks of her own baby as a sibling and wants me to raise it like my own child.
She’s locked herself in her room loudly wailing, I feel like crap warmed over. She’s been in there for 12 hours, and as she has an attached bathroom, probably won’t be coming out until she gets hungry. Considering it’s been half a day I think she has snacks stored.
I also don’t know where to go from here. Being pregnant sucks and messes with your head, so I’d like to blame that and the fear she must be feeling, but … I have the bad feeling I either raised a spoiled brat or someone with an emerging personality disorder.
So I need to know from people who aren’t emotionally involved, and maybe some people who are more in tune with this whole nonbinary thing than I am.
What do I do to help while also making her responsible for her own child? How can I help my daughter accept she must do basically the most feminine thing you can do (give birth and possibly breast-feed) while being sensitive that she’s non-binary? Am I just a big asshole here?
Typing all this out it feels like my daughter is lost in crazy town. I'm still not raising her baby but at what point do I drag a legal adult to the hospital?
Edit: You might disagree with my choices or wording, but I'm reporting people who call this bait. It's not.
Edit2: It's the middle of the night and she has decided to pack some of her clothes and stay with one of her friends. (One who I suspect is the baby daddy). Before she left she told me that she already called the police and let them know that she was 'leaving of her own free will and was not in danger'. Like I was going to report an 18 year old adult as a runaway or something? It was insulting.
I told her she needs to work out details if she wants to adopt with the father, and she was welcome back home when she had a plan in place.
It was short because I heard her on the way out. I think she just meant to leave without saying anything.
Thank you for your kind comments and advice, Reddit. I'm going to sleep.
Commenters agreed that OOP's child wasn't thinking straight:
Comment 1:
NTA.
I hate to say this, but; I sincerely hope OP's daughter chooses to give up this baby for adoption, because she's a confused hot ass mess. I don't blame OP for not wanting to step on the crazy train and raise this baby.
Comment 2:
Let’s be honest: If OP says yes to raising this child as her own, it will be the first of several. Daughter won’t take BC, so she will continue to have unprotected sex and get pregnant. She decided a couple years ago that she’s NB, expected her mother to understand that and know everything about it, and is now rewriting history to blame her mom for her now being pregnant. My head is swimming, and she’s not my daughter! There will be more babies.
Comment 3:
NB here OP.
You are SO NTA. I feel sympathy for your kid because they sound like they are so confused, maybe have body dysphoria and are now facing a life altering situation with no way out. They must feel so trapped. So they turn on you. It's easier for them to yell at and blame you instead of accepting responsibility. They are looking for a way out. We all keep changing and growing and your kid is SO young they seem to not know who they are yet and now they have to face looking after a baby when they know deep down they can't even really take care of themselves.
But my GOD the thing they did that was really stupid was chucking BC away. That is actually wild. Your kid needs to learn the difference between gender enforced stereotypes and actual biology. With biology it unfortunately doesn't matter what gender you are, the biology doesn't care, it still works the same. They NEED to learn that and differentiate.
Like I said, NTA OP. What a shit situation. I hope it gets better. I really do.
Comment 4:
NTA, your child is in fact a little idiot, with behavior that would be an absolute nightmare had you not been their parent. Also birth control isn’t a form of feminization, it’s a form of responsibility when you’re born in a body with a uterus and want to have sex that can result in pregnancy.
OOP's response:
Ugh, I wish I had those words when she hit me with that one. I sort of sputtered for a few minutes.
Comment 5:
Oh man, this is a can of worms within itself.
I wish I had better advice but just...I feel for you and the position you are stuck in.
The ONLY thing I can think of is, referring to breast feeding as "chest feeding" might make your NB daughter accept it more.
But like...there's a whole other level of things you need to get through first.
First and foremost, therapy, ASAP for your kid. Because she needs to get her head sorted out. Assuming you will just take this kid and raise it for her is...problematic to say the least. And she's got a deadline coming obviously, so therapy ASAP.
Also appointment for pregnancy checkups asap!! Has she had any? An unmonitored pregnancy can lead to complications
You might also be able to get her a social worker to go through pregnancy checkups, birthing extra.
Your kid needs a big sit down conversation about accountability for your own actions. And about how she might feel like part of YOUR actions lead to this, there was also many many choices she could have made to prevent this, that she chose not too. And at the end of the day, it was HER choices that led to this, not you.
OOP's response:
Thanks for this tip. I've written it down. The reason I mentioned she was NB because using 'breast' instead of 'chest' is the exact type of thing to send her into a pissy-fit when she's in the wrong mood. I know this may sound like a little thing, but she's always been... well, dramatic.
Because it's the internet and things are anonymous I'll admit that I am absolutely dreading pregnancy and afterbirth mood swings. Especially since it will all involve very womanly things in every intimate way. On top of the sheer stress of a newborn? Yes, I'm not looking forward to it at all and am already preparing to endure the storms.
Our conversation wasn't productive (it was an argument and she's still not out of her room) but I don't think she has had any prenatal care. That will change if I have anything to do with it.
Thanks again.
OOP commented with some of her concerns:
Yes. My worry and regret have so many places to go and a big part of it is for the baby.
This has been a bad day. :(
Responding to a comment regarding her child's entitled attitude:
Oh believe you me I have been kicking myself up and down on top of everything else. I don't know how she got to this point, but she's there now.
I wish I did have that time travel machine she clearly expects me to have.
She also clarified her overall views on the matter:
I'm on the fence. If she acted at all like she didn't have a gender (I believe that's what NB is) then I could take it more seriously. But she dresses as a woman. She puts on makeup, wears dresses during the summer, enjoys feminine things? We watch horse videos on youtube and squeal over the new foal videos. She's never been a tom boy, even.
But I was like, okay this isn't hurting her. I'll let her have this and express herself. Maybe it'll turn into something, maybe it won't. And after the first few weeks, she even dropped changing pronouns every day.
Her mentioning being NB faded and then started up hard again when high school ended and she started working retail.
I try to be understanding. Retail is hell and I'd personally only work it again if I was at my last resort. But recently it does seem to be an excuse not to work. And now she has a baby on the way.
This may not be the place for it, but I'm just worried she's regressing to a more child-like state. I don't know if she's struggling with being NB or if she's using NB as an excuse to shield herself from the world. Ugh. I guess the internet won't know, but I'm just flat out worried.
​
AITAH has no consensus bot but the comments were largely NTA.
​
Update: My NB Daughter Wants Me To Raise Her Baby - Feb 17, 2024
Hi,
This is an update to this post (Long story short my 18 year old NB daughter wanted me to raise her baby, and she told me she thinks the baby as her sibling. We had a blow-out, she locked herself in her room for most of a day, and then took off with her friends/her lover)
So this happened a few days ago but I didn’t update because I needed to get my head around it. It still doesn’t make sense.
Daughter finally unblocked me. She and the person who got her pregnant wanted to talk to me at a public place. We chose iHop.
Although I suspected I knew who her lover was, I was disappointed to find out because they have been a part of my daughter’s friend group since high school and was the only one I ever had a problem with and kicked out of my house.
They are trans now but two years ago the friend group was watching a movie in the living room, and every time I’d pass by, he (he was a he then) would lock eyes with me and make really obnoxious, loud, orgasm sounds like that scene in Harry Met Sally. I told him to knock it off and grew sterner when he did it again.
Then when I was in the kitchen, he somehow snuck up behind me and was miming jack-off movements with his hand. I turned around and caught him at it. He was still fully clothed, but it was startling and freaky. I kicked him out.
So now I’ll just call them Sperm-donor because that’s what they are.
I’m still calling my daughter ‘my daughter’ and ‘she’ because I still haven’t been told not to by her otherwise. So get off my case on that.
Anyway, the iHop meeting was a shit-show. Sperm-donor sat with my daughter and went on the attack. Sperm-donor’s points were:

• I was poisoning my daughter by “making” her take birth control. (I only helped her get the prescription and would have done everything I could if I knew she didn’t want to take the pill. There are other methods!)
• It will take years to “fix” my daughter after all I did. (Not giving her hormones even though I had no idea that was what she wanted. She dropped even wanting to change her pronouns after a few weeks.)
• Abortion is a sin and I am a monster for suggesting it. (It’s past the date anyway.)
• I am further abusing her by not taking care of the baby while she fixes herself. (I guess they meant it as a temp situation which was also new to me.)

So apparently even though I’m an abusive monster, a bad mother, and so on, I’m even worse for not taking in their baby. At least no one suggested that I raise it like my daughter’s sister anymore. That might have been my daughter’s thought on it.
Sperm-donor did most of the talking while my daughter just sat and glared at me, nodding along.
It was kind of a whirlwind, Sperm-donor pounded the table a few times, and even the waiter knew not to bother us after drinks, lol. I’m surprised we weren’t asked to leave.
There was a lot said, mostly by the sperm-donor who really seemed to be steering the ship. I asked why sperm-donor couldn’t take care of the baby and sperm-donor said their parents were even worse than me. I guess my daughter and sperm-donor taking care of the child they created is out of the question.
I told them that I would not be raising their baby for them and that adoption is the best bet. They said that if I don’t agree to raise it, they’ll make sure I’ll never see the baby ever.
I won’t raise their child for them. So that’s that, I guess.
I feel so many flavors of worried and angry and then worried all over again. I’ve been around the block and it’s never a great sign when the person you’re with makes an enemy of your family. That’s what sperm-donor has done by painting me as an abuser and failed mother who also won’t take in their baby. Sounds like sperm-donor has cut themselves off from their own family too. So I’m worried my daughter is in a very controlling relationship with someone who convinced her to stop birth control because they think hormones are too feminizing somehow and that she needs to be “fixed”. But they still want me to raise their baby.
I’m angry that my daughter can just hear this crap and nod along like, yeah, that makes total sense. She is not stupid. I think she’s love blinded.
I’m sad and worried for the baby. A couple commenters suggested I wanted nothing to do with the baby because I wouldn’t agree to raise it as my own. No, in a perfect world, I would want a normal grandmotherly relationship. Or at least know that the child is safe and has been adopted into a loving family.
I don’t care what my daughter does with her gender, or her body as long as she doesn’t hurt herself. I want her to be in a happy relationship with someone who values her for who she is. Sperm-donor kept using the word ‘fix’ which I see as another terrible sign.
It’s bad all around. My house is empty. It feels like my adult daughter has run off to join up with some weird church/cult thing who tells her that up is down. That not using birth control and not getting an abortion and then expecting others to take care of the child is all a-okay. Oh and that she’s a problem and needs to be “fixed”.
I texted her and said I would be there for her, but sperm-donor was still not welcome in the house. I think I’m blocked again.
She’s a legal adult. I’m not sure what else I can do at this point? In my low points, part of me thinks maybe I should agree to take the baby and then immediately make sure it’s adopted into a loving home. But I get the feeling that sperm-donor won’t make that easy, and right now my daughter does what he says. Also I’m not sure if that plan is even possible. It sounds Hollywood.
I have an appointment to speak with a councilor, but the soonest I could get is April. Some of my friends think I should take the baby in either to get them away from the parents or because they think it’s my duty, or both.
The only silver lining in this was that they both seemed sober. I don’t think there’s drugs involved.
Am I reading this wrong? Am I the asshole here?
Commenters agreed that sperm donor's comments made no sense, and that OOP's child was probably stuck in an abusive relationship:
Comment 1:
For your safety, I would change the locks and put up camera, Sperm-donor seems unhinged. I’m a firm believer in better safe than sorry.
Comment 2:
This baby will be used as a pawn in his never ending psycho drama. If they do not and cannot raise their baby, the best solution is adoption. Otherwise, the father will make your life a living hell.
NTA
OOP's response:
I couldn't figure out a polite way of saying this, but yes. That is my suspicion if I take in their baby. Sperm-donor implied it would be temporary while earlier my daughter said it would be permanent. I think sperm-donor will refuse to sign over paperwork when the time comes or try to leverage it in some way.
Comment 3:
NTA also it sounds like your daughter is in an abusive relationship with this person. Sorry your daughter has been brain washed by this crazy person. I would definitely contact this sperm donors family and if they seem sane warn them about how crazy both of spoke to you.
OOP's response:
That is my fear, and not a bad idea to contact sperm-donor's parents. This has all happened so far, I feel like I'm in shock and I'm very worried.
Comment 4:
Pretty wild that a trans person is saying abortion is a sin. None of this is anything like what you're going to hear from any healthy LGBT community, who are quite careful to make sure not to support people in delusional or antisocial behavior. Definitely get therapy, sounds like your kid has some serious mental health problems if they're being influenced by whatever wackos put these ideas into their head. You're going to need support in coping with this madness. NTA by a country mile. You are in no way "abusing" your kid by refusing to take responsibility for their bad choices.
OOP's response:
Thank you and yes, I don't want to minimize my daughter's role in it but the hard anti-abortion thing surprised me too. A lot of what they said contradicted itself. It felt like I was sitting across from two people who were in their own wacko bubble.
I know it's not a LGBT thing. I wish someone from their community would knock some sense into them, if its even possible at this point.
​
OOP hasn't posted since the last update.
Reminder - I am not the original poster. DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS.

I'm putting fake names... (A lot of the timelines are spread out but they talk about those specific moments, I hope they make since)
I have a friend, I'll call her J. I have known J for almost 9 years. She and I grew up pretty close and we were inseparable. Over the first few years of our friendship she had lost my parents trust from an incident involving a boy, she wasn't allowed to stay over for sleepovers and I practically lost my whole summer that year. I was pretty angry at my parents and blamed things on them. I regret my actions and I did learn but in my mind I thought J was the only person who understood me.
After the whole incident settled down. School started up again and she would jokingly push me into a boy or a locker. She started putting her arm around my neck, trying to choke me. She would continuously punch me or smack me on the head. I honestly got annoyed by it but I acted like it was nothing. She had suddenly became obsessed with TikTok and she posted a whole TikTok about her friends, their was a video of me that stood out. I wasn't wearing a shirt. Which completely made me uncomfortable because I wasn't wearing a shirt and she took the video while I was changing. She didn't take it down. She also would post photos without my consent. Like ones that made me feel ugly or disgusting. And I would tell her how they made me feel. But she would still post them. I started telling her no when she asked for photos and she always would sneak one when I wasn't looking. She doesn't take no for an answer. She will start whining when you don't listen. I used to trust her with my feelings and I would tell her about everything. And now I feel like she knows too much.
This past school year all of my friends (king, J, Joe, Bell) and I went to SDYC. And well when we went J was lying a bunch and starting a bunch of drama and it threw all of my friends off. We all didn't trust J and Joe that well during that time. I felt like the only people I had was my friends King and Bell. Because they both understood how I felt.
After that. King, J, and I had a sleepover. During the middle of the night I was watching a movie and J began to bug me. She started pushing on me saying I was taking up too much room. But honestly I was the one who was sleeping in between two couches there's no way I was taking that much space because I was falling in the crack. She then proceeded to call me a fat roll. I said "no your a fat roll" jokingly. And then she freaks out and she went to tell her boyfriend. It annoyed me because all her boyfriend knows how to do is talk bad. After that sleepover. She started working at the same place as me and I told her about my big crush on this coworker of ours. And so then she decided to start flirting with him in front of me. She would throw something at him jokingly and giggle. I didn't try to think anything of it. But then when we were talking about him the next thing she decided to say was, "your just jealous because he talks to me and not you". The thing is I don't want to talk to him that's why I don't try to talk to him. He has talked to me before, but I rather admire him from afar. He's like 13 years older than me. He was just hot to me at the time.
I'll just say I am lighter than a 5'6 girl. I might have a little bit of belly fat but that's just my body. And I do have an eating disorder. I don't eat enough, I practically starve myself. J honestly made me feel worse and I started having moments where I would basically pass out from no iron in my body. J continued to body shame me even from the amount of food I would eat. She straight up made is feel like she was calling me ugly and fat. It hurt and it made me angry. I told my dad and he said she's just jealous and not to worry about it. I brushed it off but she basically would say something everyday. It got to a point where I was crying all the time.
During my last year of highschool J didn't have a vehicle. So she would ask me to drive her places. I didn't mind because we would be going to the same places. And I started offering to pay for her drink or something. I didn't think much of it in tell I was always taking her places and buying her drinks but she still wanted me to pay her back for stuff when I didn't have much money. She managed to buy a vehicle for a small price by saving up the money she didn't spend. I feel stupid for offering. One day her mom even texted me asking for the small money I "owed" J. But my parents think I don't owe her anything because I have given her most of my money and that she owes me money.
J also does this thing where if you don't give her your attention she'll keep tapping you. Over and over again. Everytime she asks for my attention it's always for something so pointless and stupid. Nothing serious. And everytime I ask for her attention she'll ignore me. She does it a lot. She only wants to have the attention. I stopped telling her about how I feel because all I know is she'll either use it against me or not actually listen and move past it. Like once she asked me how I felt and when I told her that I cried about something she moved on from it into her talking about her crying over some movie she watched.
The way she treated me made me so angry that I texted her boyfriend anonymously asking him to control his girlfriend and get her to be nicer to others. He didn't like the message and told his girl on the spot and J tried to call my fake number. I didn't answer and then she ran to me to tell me the tea. She later assumed it was a boy she was flirting with that she pushed away.
I hate her boyfriend but he deserves better.. because she has talked to another boy behind his back. When I started liking this one boy. I told her about it and then she began to tell me how she met this UK boy and she thinks he's all that. She later found out he was lying about his age and she got back to reality before she lost her in person boyfriend.
She told king I was flirting with this one dude but I wasn't. J told me to add this guy she found on Facebook on snap, I said okay and I called the dude a nickname like a Grandma would call their grandchildren. And I thought it was funny and the guy thought it was chill. I didn't think anything of it and then I blocked him because I didn't want to talk to him. She then decided to add the guy on snap. And she starts talking to him. The amount of times she has lied is crazy. I blocked him but she still has him on snap. For what reason I don't know.
J and Joe and I have recently had a lot of problems with each other. It's always J and Joe fighting and I'm between listening to them both argue about each other. I was getting tired of it. J hit my breaking point when she decided to ask me for my boyfriends sisters snap. You don't just ask your friend for her boyfriends sisters snap. That's weird. She also asked for my boyfriends and she looked him up when I told her no and she added a bunch of dudes with the same name. She didn't find him but there is no way I want her knowing him or his sister. I have too many trust issues with her. She's the main reason why a lot of my relationships didn't work out. They didn't like her and she manipulated me into saying things that upset them. She makes me so uncomfortable. She made me seem lesbian once when I know I'm not. But she made a TikTok about it and a lot of people from my school saw it. I don't like false accusations. I'm pretty sure she used it for clout. But also my parents think she's inlove with me because she can never leave me alone and she always HAS to hold hands or hug.
J doesn't understand a lot of things. And she calls me stupid. I honestly want karma to come get her but that's bad and I don't mean to say that. It hurts a lot.
I had blocked J on everything. But since I worked with J I saw her and she started bawling her eyes out at me saying she did nothing, I felt bad but I was annoyed because she kept bugging me. So I unblocked her. I decided to block her again after because my boyfriend said she was manipulating me. And well the more I had her blocked the nicer she was. After a while Joe did something to make me give up on my friendship with her too and J expected that to be a chance to get me back. And well she did practically. She was a lot nicer and I felt like she changed. But Man was I wrong.. Just today I was working my second night shift. I said something as a joke because I was hoping J would get what I meant. Her boyfriend was on the call... He took everything out of context and said something that made me feel less about myself. I already feel like crap being the person I am. I want to better myself but the more people say things the more I give up. I want to be encouraged not dragged down. I don't know why he has to be so mean. I never did anything to him. I don't know why they both have to be... I listen to her call people ugly all the time. Like just stop. I want her to stop. I'm leaving for the military soon, and she said that I can't get rid of her. That sounds psycho. And it honestly makes me want to get away more. I'm tired of the toxic environment and I want to get away. But she's everywhere. She knows everything about me. She has photos of me I hate. She has so many things she can use against me. I'm honestly scared. I want to block her again but I know she's just going to keep bugging me about it. And she might turn people against me. She's good at talking to people. I'm not I'm an introvert. I don't want her ever find me again once I leave. But I know she might try. People always find a way. And she's creepy. Because I know she'll be able to. But I just want to move on with my life. I don't know how to remove her from my life. What should I do?

I'm putting fake names... (A lot of the timelines are spread out but they talk about those specific moments, I hope they make since)
I have a friend, I'll call her J. I have known J for almost 9 years. She and I grew up pretty close and we were inseparable. Over the first few years of our friendship she had lost my parents trust from an incident involving a boy, she wasn't allowed to stay over for sleepovers and I practically lost my whole summer that year. I was pretty angry at my parents and blamed things on them. I regret my actions and I did learn but in my mind I thought J was the only person who understood me.
After the whole incident settled down. School started up again and she would jokingly push me into a boy or a locker. She started putting her arm around my neck, trying to choke me. She would continuously punch me or smack me on the head. I honestly got annoyed by it but I acted like it was nothing. She had suddenly became obsessed with TikTok and she posted a whole TikTok about her friends, their was a video of me that stood out. I wasn't wearing a shirt. Which completely made me uncomfortable because I wasn't wearing a shirt and she took the video while I was changing. She didn't take it down. She also would post photos without my consent. Like ones that made me feel ugly or disgusting. And I would tell her how they made me feel. But she would still post them. I started telling her no when she asked for photos and she always would sneak one when I wasn't looking. She doesn't take no for an answer. She will start whining when you don't listen. I used to trust her with my feelings and I would tell her about everything. And now I feel like she knows too much.
This past school year all of my friends (king, J, Joe, Bell) and I went to SDYC. And well when we went J was lying a bunch and starting a bunch of drama and it threw all of my friends off. We all didn't trust J and Joe that well during that time. I felt like the only people I had was my friends King and Bell. Because they both understood how I felt.
After that. King, J, and I had a sleepover. During the middle of the night I was watching a movie and J began to bug me. She started pushing on me saying I was taking up too much room. But honestly I was the one who was sleeping in between two couches there's no way I was taking that much space because I was falling in the crack. She then proceeded to call me a fat roll. I said "no your a fat roll" jokingly. And then she freaks out and she went to tell her boyfriend. It annoyed me because all her boyfriend knows how to do is talk bad. After that sleepover. She started working at the same place as me and I told her about my big crush on this coworker of ours. And so then she decided to start flirting with him in front of me. She would throw something at him jokingly and giggle. I didn't try to think anything of it. But then when we were talking about him the next thing she decided to say was, "your just jealous because he talks to me and not you". The thing is I don't want to talk to him that's why I don't try to talk to him. He has talked to me before, but I rather admire him from afar. He's like 13 years older than me. He was just hot to me at the time.
I'll just say I am lighter than a 5'6 girl. I might have a little bit of belly fat but that's just my body. And I do have an eating disorder. I don't eat enough, I practically starve myself. J honestly made me feel worse and I started having moments where I would basically pass out from no iron in my body. J continued to body shame me even from the amount of food I would eat. She straight up made is feel like she was calling me ugly and fat. It hurt and it made me angry. I told my dad and he said she's just jealous and not to worry about it. I brushed it off but she basically would say something everyday. It got to a point where I was crying all the time.
During my last year of highschool J didn't have a vehicle. So she would ask me to drive her places. I didn't mind because we would be going to the same places. And I started offering to pay for her drink or something. I didn't think much of it in tell I was always taking her places and buying her drinks but she still wanted me to pay her back for stuff when I didn't have much money. She managed to buy a vehicle for a small price by saving up the money she didn't spend. I feel stupid for offering. One day her mom even texted me asking for the small money I "owed" J. But my parents think I don't owe her anything because I have given her most of my money and that she owes me money.
J also does this thing where if you don't give her your attention she'll keep tapping you. Over and over again. Everytime she asks for my attention it's always for something so pointless and stupid. Nothing serious. And everytime I ask for her attention she'll ignore me. She does it a lot. She only wants to have the attention. I stopped telling her about how I feel because all I know is she'll either use it against me or not actually listen and move past it. Like once she asked me how I felt and when I told her that I cried about something she moved on from it into her talking about her crying over some movie she watched.
The way she treated me made me so angry that I texted her boyfriend anonymously asking him to control his girlfriend and get her to be nicer to others. He didn't like the message and told his girl on the spot and J tried to call my fake number. I didn't answer and then she ran to me to tell me the tea. She later assumed it was a boy she was flirting with that she pushed away.
I hate her boyfriend but he deserves better.. because she has talked to another boy behind his back. When I started liking this one boy. I told her about it and then she began to tell me how she met this UK boy and she thinks he's all that. She later found out he was lying about his age and she got back to reality before she lost her in person boyfriend.
She told king I was flirting with this one dude but I wasn't. J told me to add this guy she found on Facebook on snap, I said okay and I called the dude a nickname like a Grandma would call their grandchildren. And I thought it was funny and the guy thought it was chill. I didn't think anything of it and then I blocked him because I didn't want to talk to him. She then decided to add the guy on snap. And she starts talking to him. The amount of times she has lied is crazy. I blocked him but she still has him on snap. For what reason I don't know.
J and Joe and I have recently had a lot of problems with each other. It's always J and Joe fighting and I'm between listening to them both argue about each other. I was getting tired of it. J hit my breaking point when she decided to ask me for my boyfriends sisters snap. You don't just ask your friend for her boyfriends sisters snap. That's weird. She also asked for my boyfriends and she looked him up when I told her no and she added a bunch of dudes with the same name. She didn't find him but there is no way I want her knowing him or his sister. I have too many trust issues with her. She's the main reason why a lot of my relationships didn't work out. They didn't like her and she manipulated me into saying things that upset them. She makes me so uncomfortable. She made me seem lesbian once when I know I'm not. But she made a TikTok about it and a lot of people from my school saw it. I don't like false accusations. I'm pretty sure she used it for clout. But also my parents think she's inlove with me because she can never leave me alone and she always HAS to hold hands or hug.
J doesn't understand a lot of things. And she calls me stupid. I honestly want karma to come get her but that's bad and I don't mean to say that. It hurts a lot.
I had blocked J on everything. But since I worked with J I saw her and she started bawling her eyes out at me saying she did nothing, I felt bad but I was annoyed because she kept bugging me. So I unblocked her. I decided to block her again after because my boyfriend said she was manipulating me. And well the more I had her blocked the nicer she was. After a while Joe did something to make me give up on my friendship with her too and J expected that to be a chance to get me back. And well she did practically. She was a lot nicer and I felt like she changed. But Man was I wrong.. Just today I was working my second night shift. I said something as a joke because I was hoping J would get what I meant. Her boyfriend was on the call... He took everything out of context and said something that made me feel less about myself. I already feel like crap being the person I am. I want to better myself but the more people say things the more I give up. I want to be encouraged not dragged down. I don't know why he has to be so mean. I never did anything to him. I don't know why they both have to be... I listen to her call people ugly all the time. Like just stop. I want her to stop. I'm leaving for the military soon, and she said that I can't get rid of her. That sounds psycho. And it honestly makes me want to get away more. I'm tired of the toxic environment and I want to get away. But she's everywhere. She knows everything about me. She has photos of me I hate. She has so many things she can use against me. I'm honestly scared. I want to block her again but I know she's just going to keep bugging me about it. And she might turn people against me. She's good at talking to people. I'm not I'm an introvert. I don't want her ever find me again once I leave. But I know she might try. People always find a way. And she's creepy. Because I know she'll be able to. But I just want to move on with my life. I don't know how to remove her from my life. What should I do?

I'll try and keep this short as possible. My husband 32M and I 32F have been together for 4 years now and have the most beautiful baby boy (4 months)
However, about midway through my pregnancy with him, my world came tumbling down when I discovered my husband had been engaging in a very sexual relationship with an ex fuck buddy. Along with this, he had been very sexually active with several anonymous women online. Ex and him were involved before him and I met, she's well aware of my existence but continued to digitally engage with my husband throughout almost our entire relationship. He's obviously not innocent either.
I am choosing to believe he's never slept with her while we have been together. Per his word and my lack of evidence. Seems like it was all texting and fantasy.
When I found out, I gave him an ultimatum to block her, and disengage all other activities or I was gone. Sense then, I found out once he unblocked her but did not respond to her despite her attempting to still try and contact him. Made him block her again and he solidified my lines. He has put forth a massive effort to repair our marriage but I still find myself insecure and wary.
I have sense then not had much evidence that he is engaging with her again, however I feel extremely insecure about the way he talks about our coworker, who reveals details about her own sex life. He seems defensive of her and texts her outside of work... I don't go through his phone so I have no idea exactly what it is they talk about.
Aside from this, he is a wonderful partner and father. But he keeps talking about wanting to try for another baby early next year but I can't find myself getting excited about it, I'm terrified he has or will engage in another relationship outside our marriage. I never want to experience that kind of pain again. I feel at times I only stayed because I was pregnant and I never want to place myself into such vulnerability again unless I was absolutely sure there was nothing going on, with ANYONE.
How do I bring this up without him getting defensive? I chose to forgive, but I can't seem to shake this fear? We had always talked about having at least two kids together, but I still don't fully trust him....
Help

This is the first time I've really done anything like this. Especially on Reddit. Actually, someone I used to work with showed me the world of reddit. I've been struggling with my story of being groomed for so long, wanting to just talk with someone about it in full, but I never really knew where to go. I've thought of doing anonymous blogging but couldn't quite find the right place.
Here's some notes before I dive in (mostly for myself): Groomer's Alias (for this): Old Geezer The Where (where I worked): LakeyBakey (code name) Regions: Lake States (where I was before), Southern Hell (where he came from and returned), North Pole (where I reside now, but had visited) Old HS: WR (Wanna-be Richies) Legal Mom: The Witch (you'll see why) My bf before: Narly Dude
Old Geezer was 38 I was 18
The Story: I had gotten a job right out of graduating from WR. Well, job offer. I went in for the interview for this place called LakeyBakey (not actually what it was called, but again code naming everything). I honestly was shocked about the place as it was a business/corperate type thing. But one of my friends was bragging to their father about me being more mature than your average teen. It was pretty exciting. I ended up starting the day after the graduation ceremony. The first week there was just training. There was one guy who was intrigued by the newbies. Specifically me, but was subtle about it. He didn't really start chatting with me until the third week of having the job. But my Legal Mom, The Witch, wanted to use me graduating as an excuse to have a vacation to an Alabama beach. Now, I'm not ungrateful, but I've express to The Witch several times about my fears of oceans. I'm fine with Lakes, but Oceans were a whole different thing for me. I told her countless times about how I wanted to go to a country side, somewhere for me to do some stargazing and research of the night sky. That was my Vacation. But back to my grooming story. The week after returning, I was briefed on how to start the job (aka no more training, which there's two weeks of training for LakeyBakey, but the second week is just getting you set with being on the FlooPhones). I got a message on Slack (This is like the business form of Discord. They are very similar in set up) from a guy. Old Geezer was just checking to see if I needed any help. He'd constantly ask if I needed help. But soon the comments went from asking if I needed help, to mild flirting. I had promptly brought up how I had a boyfriend and was happy with him. I had told the story of how we really connected. Well, more of how I connected with Narly Dude. Narly Dude actually saved me from an attempt and more than proved he cared for me. I mentioned in a Slack message to Old Geezer that I felt like I somewhat owed Narly Dude for practically saving my life. And that's when it started mildly. He got his foot in the door of my mind. He told me, "That's not fair to him. If you're only dating him because you feel like you owe him, that's just wrong." (AN: That wasn't the case, but the guy was twisting my words and basically guilt tripping me). Then after a bit of him doing more of that to me, he'd start telling me about all these things he could offer me. A place near the countryside, being able to be around nature more, and so much more that I'd never receive. A few weeks later, he told me he wanted to see a park I loved to frequent, to take in the nature that I love so much. So I told him about it, and he told me I should show him around. So I did. And then he lured me to the bathrooms and illegally tengo-ed with me (SA if you're not sure what I meant by that). I was still with Narly Dude at this time, but from this happening, I felt so guilty. The guilt from letting myself get in that situation when I was happily with someone else. I was sick from myself with the guilt. I ended up breaking up with Narly Dude soon after. And once Old Geezer heard of this, he didn't hold back with the flirting. Well, not long after, the friend he was living with caught drift of what Old Geezer was up to. That friend kicked him out. And that friend's wife and wife's best friend reach out to The Witch and My sister. Once The Witch heard about this, she confronted me about it. But she did it so passive-aggressively. Because of my past trauma I had before I came to live with The Witch, I learned how to pay attention to people's tones. I knew her "I'm irritated and I plan on getting you in trouble, but I'm going to act like we're having a normal conversation first" tone very well. And she was using that one. Constantly saying she's "worried for me" and when I kept asking for her to leave me alone to think and cool down, she wouldn't. She just sat there by my bedroom door, refusing to leave and continuing to bash on me subtly. I started to raise my voice to the point that my Legal Dad came in to see what the issue was. That's when all hell broke loose. I lost it at them and they ended up saying to me, "Fuck you. Fuck off!" So I grabbed a few of my things and went out the door and a friend's family took me in. I stayed there for a month. The family helped me in getting an apartment of my own. And once I did, I also had a roommate. Well, Old Geezer took me being homeless practically as a way to have full grasp on me. Once I had my apartment, I was never allowed there. We could only be at his apartment which he got a month prior. His reasoning? No one knew of that address. He'd constantly belittle my "teen moments" (when I was having high anxiety, or just was struggling with past trauma issues) with saying "You're 18 year old is showing". His goal was to make me a submissive house wife. But he never intended to marry me (even though I've express I only date to marry). This went on for 6-ish months. He stopped listening to me. He always had these audio books on and wouldn't pause it until I've repeated myself 5 times. He'd say when I felt the need to cry that I was being overdramatic and a crybaby. And when he'd want to do bed time, he'd use the terms that had haunted me in high school when my boyfriend at the time had SA-ed me ($!ut, and wh0r3). He would pin me down to tickle me (sometimes licking me) and didn't stop until I'd bite him, even though I would scream for him to stop it. He would mostly do this when I would stay up a bit later to watch something or play a game a little longer than when he wanted to sleep. It was his way of getting me to go to sleep with him. But whenever I did the same, he'd just say my "18 year old was showing). He even made me stop talking to friends. Told me that I should wait at least 5 years to unblock my sister. When I didn't want to sleep in the same room, he would drag me back to the room where we both *had* to sleep (sometimes even by the hair). And like I said, this went on for 6-ish months. Well, in November, I decided to visit my biological father and his side of the family up in the North Pole. I was more open with them about what was going on in the relationship. And a week after I returned back to the Lake States, my aunt had told me she believed he was grooming me. Several of my remaining friends agreed with her. And on December 8th I tested positive for Covid. And because Old Geezer is "old and thus had a weak immune system" I was thrown to the apartment that was mine until the symptoms started to go away. In that time, I made some new friends through the Roblox game Mic Up (actually through further events from this, I actually found my current Boyfriend who has been a massive blessing with helping me get through all the trauma). I realized how much I missed having friends closer to my age--well, friends in general. And the time away really got me the time I needed to feel the ick I had felt when it all started. About the third day in, Old Geezer wasn't liking how much I was not under his surveillance so he brought me back to my apartment. I think it was the second night of me being back to his place, I snapped at him for not letting me stay up later to game. I'm young, I don't work the next day, I should be able to do such. So I stormed into another room and locked myself in to do so. About 10 minutes later, I heard the apartment door slam. He left. So I went to the bathroom to calm down when I heard some night time noises. From the neighbor. The one who's a single lady. So I rushed out of the apartment building and called my biological father, sobbing. Telling him how certain I was that Old Geezer was cheating on me. About 2 minutes of me calming down from the crying/sobbing moment, I watch Old Geezer walk out of the building and to the Apartment's Gym (it's in a separate building and this one in particular came with one). So I snuck my way back into the apartment, gathering up my things. When he came back, I confronted him about what I heard. While doing so, he gave me a drink as he poured himself one. He told me that there was nothing for us if I couldn't trust him. I don't really remember how the conversation ended because I lost consciousness. I woke up the next morning. The week after that situation, I'd make excuses for needing to stay at my apartment more while I gained the courage to do what was needing to be done. I gave some trusted friends Old Geezer's address and even told them to give the police my phone number if they didn't hear from me after a certain time. Once I got to Old Geezer's place, I confronted him. I let it all out. About how he'd ignore me, never really listened to my feelings, and not being able to trust him. He made excuses. Saying he'd "start listening better and changing" that "we could always work to rebuild that trust". I told him "You had the chance to change and listen and you didn't take it." And once it was settled that what we had was over, I got my stuff packed into a car and made it back to my apartment. The words "I'm Free" becoming louder and louder as I got closer to my apartment and locked the apartment door. Once the door was locked, I slid to the floor and just silently sobbed mixed tears (tears of joy and pain). About 3 days after this happening, he made one of my online friends send me a "letter that he wrote" (spoiler: it was a ChatCPT generated thing). He said he supposedly went straight back to Southern Hell. I had told the friend to cut ties with him or I'll block her. I wanted nothing to do with him. Well about a week later, The Witch invited me to a Christmas Party with the family. I confessed to her about what was happening. That I learned my lesson from the whole thing. I even brought up how I had several people (one being my therapist, but I didn't mention her) telling me it was a grooming relationship. The Witch promptly said that "Adults cannot be groomed". And after me confessing everything to her, she said that she was "greatly disappointed in me". There was no validation. It wasn't until several months later that I realized that she and Old Geezer had shared some mentally abusive tactics of manipulation. Which was why it was so easy for Old Geezer to get past my defense system for so long.
I also have since moved away from the Lake States for several different reasons, including my safety. I was told by The Witch that if I moved that I "shouldn't consider ever reaching out again" that I "would no longer be her family or daughter if I moved". So that's the story. And within a week of me uploading this, I'll be turning 19. A Year since everything went downhill. So yes, this happened in 2023.

I joined Over eaters Anonymous and lost about 40lbs and have had most of it off for over 40 years. Most diets work That isn't the issue with weight lost. It's sticking to a food plan. The best diet or food plan is the one you can stick with. And I say go on the easiest food plan you can and that will be easier to stick with. The weight will come off slower, but you will have results. Like Alcohol Anonymouses to stick with your food plan you must make this the most important thing in your life without exception. Many times, I said no to food at office get-togethers. Yes, I was tempted by all the free food at work, but I had to fight it. What kept me to stick with my food plan is I knew I had to no matter what. You cannot make exceptions no matter what happens. If you have a slip, remember we strive for progress not perfection.

I (16M) share a class with Jessica (17F), and our interactions have been anything but smooth. Initially, we connected over our shared interests in music, games, and languages. However, things shifted when I developed feelings for her and anonymously inquired about her relationship status. Learning she wasn't single, we agreed to maintain a friendship, which I genuinely valued.
Despite our agreement, Jessica suddenly blocked me on social media and stopped responding to my messages. Confused and hurt, I tried to reach out several times, only to be met with silence. When she questioned a mutual friend, Bobby (16M), about my absence, Bobby said there was "beef" between me and her.
She asked to talk so we unblocked each other, and Jessica explained that she felt overwhelmed by the amount of messages I send to her and my friends in general. Acknowledging her discomfort, I apologized and promised to reduce my texting frequency. In return, Jessica agreed to communicate her feelings more openly.
However, our attempts at reconciliation were short-lived. Jessica once again ghosted me without warning. This time, I decided to move on and began talking to another girl, Sandy (15F). When I casually inquired about Sandy's relationship status, Jessica reacted defensively, which struck me as odd.
It wasn't long before I discovered the unsettling truth: Jessica had been spreading rumors about me, branding me as a "creep" based on a vague "gut feeling." This baseless accusation led to confrontations from strangers, including a distressing incident during lunch when a group of girls I'd never seen before approached me, hurling insults and accusations.
Because of a school event we were both attending we were forced to discuss our issues, Jessica couldn't provide concrete evidence for her accusations. Instead, she vaguely mentioned my 'obsessive' behavior which she couldn't elaborate on. Moreover, she questioned the authenticity of my past relationship, despite evidence proving otherwise. Despite my efforts to confront her about the rumors, she adamantly denied everything and persisted in spreading falsehoods about me
Feeling unfairly targeted and desperate to clear my name, I reported Jessica's behavior to the school. However, her response was one of denial and defensiveness, despite multiple sources confirming her actions.
This relentless campaign against me has taken a toll on my mental well-being. I've been labeled a "snitch" and an "asshole" by Jessica and her circle, further exacerbating the situation as she continues to talk about me. Despite my efforts to resolve the conflict, Jessica remains steadfast in her refusal to acknowledge her wrongdoing.
I'm at a loss for how to proceed. I've been transparent about my intentions and have made genuine efforts to address Jessica's concerns. However, her refusal to take responsibility for her actions and her continued spread of rumors have left me feeling powerless and frustrated.

Sorry for my grammar, english is not my first language but I really want to get it out of my chest.
I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with his distant cousin 1 year ago and the mistress actually got pregnant. His mother know and support the relationship because i have been married to my husband for 3 years but still not pregnant. So yeah he decided to divorce me. I am positive that the divorce will be easy because my exhusband pretty much agree to all of the settlement but somehow I am not satisfied, I am angry and hurt how easy it is for him to just let go without any ounce of regret.
One day before the proceeding, while arranging my document I was using my ipad, I realise that a message keep popping up.Its weird because this ipad is my old ipad, haven’t use it for so long since I got my new one. After I check I realise that my exhusband has been using this ipad to contact his mistress and I also found out that he’s not only been cheating with his cousin but also another 3 woman and 1 of them is also pregnant. From the gist of their conversation, it seems like they don’t know about each other but they know about me(said that, me and him has separated while we were still very much married).
I don’t know what came to me but at that moment I saw way to hurt him, I contacted all of them separately and told them about the divorce but kept anonymous, just told them to come at the court to give strength to their beloved bf. From the way i see it when my exhusband is here he will blocked all of them and unblocked them on the day he will be away for business trip.so I was hoping that my plan will sail smoothly. And God is on my side, all of his mistress actually came but after the divorce proceeding is over. Imagine the chaos, his face draine from blood almost fainted even. I even help my ex-mil to sit because she also so shocked and learn that she was admitted to the hospital the day after. The poor 4 woman, they were taken to police custody, there is so much crying, hitting, biting,the cousin tried to kill the baby inside by hitting her belly in front of everyone, so much violance and my exhusband was quite and I can see the life out of his body(serve him right).Honestly I felt bad especially after the cousin tried to kill the baby. Do you guys think its to much?
Edit: I need an insight, if somehow this catastrophy lead back to me, do you think they can sue me? I am not afraid but need to figure out next step just in case.
REMINDER I AM NOT OOP

When i met my ex boyfriend i didnt even want to be with him , he persisted me and had everyone around me try to convince me he was the right one for me , he found me in a bad time in life when i was vulnerable the day i moved in the thought in my mind was how can i get out. He gaslit me daily, pushed people to attack me , made scenarios of him k****ing himself but not really to see if i cared when i would try to leave . The two years was hell , towards the end i started getting panic attacks . He would rip my clothes off if i would go out when i came back and shove fingers in me to see if i was having sex with someone else . I couldn’t be open with him about anything cus he would use the information against me . He ended up cheating and lying about it his friends told me but he denied and denied, at that point i just really didnt care anymore i wanted out . I threw away most of my items , and went home .( 2 states away) he told his friends to have me unblock him . I gave in he would cry and beg for me to wait for him . I told him to never call me again even if i ever reached out to do me the favor of leaving me alone . He called the city police station anonymously and told them i had a warrant , i had cops at my moms house looking for me . I was hiding , i finally got the courage to turn myself in i called the police station and they was checking on the warrant just to say it didnt exist. Even after i left he had kept attacking me . His new girlfriend would try to message me on social media and thought it was funny trying to drag me down . I honestly was happy i was gone , but something still hurt inside me . I stayed single , and explored my inner self , work would help me keep my mind off him i also got an emotional support dog something about taking care of an animal made me feel needed . 3 years later, after praying and turning to jesus . God sent me the perfect man . I can be open to him about my past my traumas and he holds me and guides me through my emotions we been together a year and hes never attacked me or hurt me . I never knew a man like this existed. All my needs are met . I can truly say i love this man , he wants to make sure im financially okay if anything ever was to happen to him . If i can get out and find love a true love you can too . Its hard but so worth it. Also i was updated by an old friend my ex is in jail for breaking a bottle over someones head . He hasnt changed, hes broken and im glad i didnt stay . I wish the best for everyone stay positive.

Two young kids taken from a popular local hiking trail in the middle of a warm winter day. Forcibly removed from the remote end of a dead end trail. Nowhere to run—- trapped on that long and rotted train trestle bridge—- isolated but together. It makes me sick thinking how terrified but brave two young friends were that day they crossed the Monon High Bridge. Libby capturing their abductor with a secretly concealed cell phone. I suspect they knew he was bad news the moment they’d passed one another at the south end of the bridge.
And yet both Abby and Libby still felt comfortable walking on the isolating and decaying trestles. You can see Abby concentrating on every footstep in that infamous Snapchat photo taken by her best friend Libby. They knew something was amiss the moment they saw him walking back toward them, with his head down—moving too fast for their comfort. Both girls suddenly realizing Anthony_shots was a creepy old man in baggy blue jeans and a bad fitting blue jacket.
One man with a motive for being there that day. Three times convicted: Theft, Battery, and Harassment. No stranger to beating up little kids, and harassing unsuspecting women with his anonymous telephone calls. A sick man with the black heart of a BTK and a GSK—- a pedophile and a peeper all rolled into one. He had the motive, and we all know anthony_shots and EmilyAnne were born on his Comcast account. Two fake social media profiles designed to trick unsuspecting and vulnerable young girls for their own sick purposes. A perfect storm waiting to happen.
He had the motive—- and let’s face it; he is undoubtedly connected. His Comcast account, his house, his son, his parents and their backyard—- somehow all connected. A man with three convictions, that suddenly realized he wasn’t so anonymous on those MeetMe, KiK and Snapchat chats. A three time loser looking at a new reality of life behind bars if any one of those kids talked about Anthony or Emily. I know he was terrified because his own son told us he was terrified, that evening when he arrived back home after his friendly chat with the ISP and the FBI on February 25. 2017.
He told us his dad was hysterically crying when he got a ride back home from the nice law enforcement people—- who’d just given him the polygraph treatment. They knew then this young shut in man knew something about the person(s) responsible for the Delphi murders. Does anyone truly believe this man was crying because he thought his son was mixed up in the Delphi murders. Or he was crying and terrified because he knew what could be coming next. I have no doubt his DNA is grossly smeared all over those devices confiscated from that pedo den. Devices collected from where they were found inside that house. Law enforcement knows who had which device in their separate bedrooms. They know who it was that unblocked Libby that February when she was set up and trapped on the Monon High Bridge.
Law enforcement has the full story. That Carroll County prosecutor didn’t meet secretly with the weakest link for nothing. He met secretly with that man’s son so as to get the full story. The story about a trip to Delphi that day two kids were murdered. A trip in a grandparents vehicle—- of course he wouldn’t take one of his own vehicles that day. A trip to the back of the Old Delphi Cemetery where he waited for his dad who had disappeared into the thick timber headed toward Deer Creek. A codependent and abused son waiting in a vehicle at the back of a deserted cemetery. I wouldn’t doubt he told the son he was doing some scouting for a future hunt. A gullible son who knew to keep his mouth shut lest the old man stick a gun to his head.
I think he told McLeland about the drive back to Peru that day. His dad covered in blood. The slow down on the bridge when his dad banded him the knife and told him to toss it into the river. Suddenly realizing the blood was now on his hands. The quick return home for a change of clothes and footwear. His dad acting wildly manic as they returned to the grandparents house to burn something in that bag his dad brought with them. The suspicious bag and the seat covers, floor mats and steering wheel cover from grandmas purple PT Cruiser. All tossed in that huge garbage pit and set ablaze. A quick run to the local Autozone before it closed that Monday evening—- brand seat covers, floor mats and steering wheel cover.
If there was a motive—- that man had it. Terrified his impulsive nature destroyed his retirement plans at the fast approaching age of 55. His son showing him that winter the ease for which he could peep into a young girls bedroom without ever leaving his own bedroom. Suddenly realizing the FBI was busy in the 765 Area Code that winter catching predators like himself. EmilyAnne and Elliot—- two men trading the most vile CSAM imaginable. Elliot seen handcuffed and led away from his house on the west side of Kokomo by the serious looking men with FBI emblazoned on their jackets.
Would they come for him if that young girl from Delphi told about those fake social media accounts harassing and grooming her that winter. A three time loser back in front of a judge and looking at 10-20. A lost life of leisure sponging off his parent’s timeshare in Florida, and those quick trips to Las Vegas and the nearby Bunny Ranch.
They searched his house not once, but TWICE. They searched that river for over 5 long weeks looking for a murder weapon. We know who pointed them to that location—— his son accompanied by two detectives. Did they find his knife—- of course they did. Had they not found a knife described in detail by his only son—- they would never have moved onto that Autozone, and ultimately that fire pit in grandma’s backyard. Something of interest was burned behind his parent’s house— the same as something of interest burned behind Richard Allen’s house. Does anyone think Ricard Allen could have made the same suspicious purchases for his black Ford Focus; new seat covers, floor mats—-purchased at that Carquest Auto Parts Store on West Franklin Street in beautiful Delphi, Indiana. Three men there that day two kids were setup, trapped, and murdered.
One of them had motive.
This is all speculation on my part. Speculation meant to illicit discussion. Could it have been Allen alone that day? Is there something to those searches in Miami County that preceded the searches at Allen’s property? Could two men growing up in a town of less than 900 people during the 1980’s have known one another? Did Allen’s wife know something was off with her husband of 25 years? Did the neighbors recall the smell of burning rubber, that evening two innocent kids from America’s Heartland were so heartlessly murdered?

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⟳ f-droid.org from Mon, 15 Apr 2024 08:45:15 GMT updated on Thu, 18 Apr 2024 08:36:21 GMT contains 4368 apps.

Added (3)

• Life Counter: Life Counter for Magic The Gathering
• Stendhal Game: Stendhal is a multiplayer adventure with classic 2D graphics. It is completely o
• JMP SIM Manager: Companion app for the JMP eSIM Adapter

Updated (47)

• Eat Poop You Cat (version 1.4.0): Eat Poop You Cat is a bit like telephone with writing and drawing.
• Planetario (version 2.0): Solar System in your Phone
• Standard Notes (version 3.193.2): An end-to-end encrypted note-taking app for digitalists and professionals
• Träwelldroid (version 2.7.3): Free check-in service for recording journeys in public transport
• Activity Launcher (version 2.0.2): Create shortcuts for apps and activities
• JS-Dict (version 1.2.1): Japanese-English dictionary app powered by Jisho.org.
• HeliBoard (version 1.3-beta1): Customizable open-source keyboard
• WallFlow Plus (version 2.5.0): Beautiful wallpapers from wallhaven.cc and Reddit with object detection feature
• Binary Eye (version 1.63.6): Yet another barcode scanner
• baresip (version 60.2.0): VoIP User Agent app for Android based on baresip SIP library
• SerialTest (version V0.3.5): A cross platform debugger for Bluetooth/TCP/UDP
• Nextcloud Dev (version 20240414): Synchronization client
• RiMusic (version 0.6.30): A multilingual Android application for streaming music from YouTube Music.
• Podcini - Podcast instrument (version 4.8.0): A feature-rich open-source podcast manager and player
• Casio G-Shock Smart Sync (version 12.7): Add smart functions to your Casio square BT G-Shock (B5600, B5000, B2100)
• ESBDirect (version 3.4.1): Access substitution plans
• FluffyChat (version 1.19.2): Chat with your friends with FluffyChat.
• Inure App Manager (Trial) (version Build100.4.0 (Final)): An elegant multi-purpose app manager for all rooted and non-rooted devices.
• Obtainium (version 1.1.3): Get android app updates directly from the source
• WallFlow (version 2.5.0): Beautiful wallpapers from wallhaven.cc and Reddit
• AutoDND (version 3.2): A simple tool to toggle DND automatically when using specified apps.
• mLauncher - Minimal and Clutter Free launcher (version 1.5.2): Forked from Olauncher, +minimalization, +customizability
• QuickWeather (version 2.6.9): Weather at a glance for anywhere in the world!
• Trireme for Deluge (version 1.4.3): Deluge thin client
• Myne: Download & Read eBooks (version 3.4.0): Android application to download & read ebooks from the Project GutenBerg.
• Podverse (version 4.16.0): Podcast app with clips, video, livestreams, playlists, profiles, and cross-platf
• Mysterium VPN — Next Gen VPN (version 2.1.13): Decentralized VPN for Web 3: Anonymous, secure and unblocked internet
• Money Manager Ex (version 2024.04.15): Manage your finances on-the-go, encrypted for security, sync via your own cloud
• PReVo (version 0.26): Esperanto dictionary
• openHAB Beta (version 3.12.2-beta): Vendor and technology agnostic open source home automation
• Jami (version 20240412-01): Audio & Video Calls / Chat Take Control of your Communication!
• Timed Silence - Dont let your phone rattle you! (version 3.0.2): An app that manages your phones volume. It will mute your phone for you!
• Ceno Browser: Share the Web (version 2.1.0): Access any website, then share it peer-to-peer.
• ente Photos (version 0.8.79): None
• osm2gmaps (version 0.4.3): Convert coordinates to shareable links for various mapping services
• Pie Launcher (version 1.19.2): Control your phone with a dynamic pie menu instead of fixed positioned icons.
• Cuppa - Tea Timer (version 2.7.1): Time your tea as it steeps
• OpenTopoMap Viewer (version 1.15): Online client for maps from OTM project, import GPX and show own location
• open2share (version 1.7): Enable sharing files from every app (like WeChat)
• Apollo (version 1.4.4): Apollo Music Player
• Tailscale (version 1.60.1-t2caffeeb4-g6f7ae79a31c): Mesh VPN based on WireGuard
• microMathematics Plus (version 2.23.2): Computer algebra system
• Voyager for Lemmy (version 2.4.0): Join the discussion
• Gauguin (version 0.24.2): A Sudoku-like logic game
• Status Bar Speedometer (version 3.6.0): Display your current speed as notification
• Flux News (version 1.4.2): Newsreader for miniflux backend
• Cuscon (version 4.0.1.9): Icon pack with varied shapes

^{2024-04-18T08:52:29Z}

Alright, so let me tell you what is happening in my life lately. I'm in my last year of high school, and let me tell you, it's been one heck of a ride. Living in a place where being gay isn't exactly celebrated has made things... complicated, to say the least.
Now, let's talk about this guy, we'll call him Mark. Mark's been on my mind for what feels like forever. I mean, we've known each other for years, and I've had this major crush on him since day one. But here's the kicker: he's dated a couple of girls during that time, which made things a bit... confusing.
But then, in June 2022, something crazy happened. Mark and I ended up hanging out together, just the two of us. It wasn't an official date or anything, but it sure felt like one. We went shopping, had dinner, and even went for a spontaneous swim. And let me tell you, that swim was a game-changer. We were holding hands, making eye contact we even make alot of physical touch and we hugged these things are not really accepted in here so seeing this coming from a guy was definitely something that i was thinking alot of.It felt like there was something real there, you know?
But then, out of nowhere, he pulls a disappearing act. Blocked me on all social media, like I was yesterday's news. The whole thing happened in the first month of mark and one my classmates start dating (a girl).Talk about a gut punch and feeling confused.
He ghosted me, blocked me
And just when I thought things couldn't get any crazier, rumors started flying about me being gay. Some anonymous Instagram account decided to out me to the whole school(not everybody saw it but it was enough of people), and let me tell you, it was a nightmare. I was thinking of ending it all i was not mayself that day was the worst thing i ever have to experience being jaild and killed at this age felt unreal but in that moment it was so possible I felt like I was under a microscope, with everyone whispering behind my back.
But, life goes on, Things eventually calmed down, and I tried to move on(the post get deleted a day after but the effect still to this day happing). Until recently(march of 2024) that is. Mark and his girlfriend broke up, and suddenly, he's back in my life. He unblocked me start liking my posts, following me again and start to replay to my stories – the whole shebang.the feelings are starting to get back at me and this time it's even worst after we get more mature and the conversation start to get deep and emotional between us But here's the thing: I have no clue if he's into me or if he's just like that. We still hug and stuff, which gives me major mixed signals.
Meanwhile, i can say shit it dangerous and I'm not really trying to risk shit and obviously I'm trying to keep my grades up so I can get into college, but it's hard to focus when my mind's constantly on overdrive, thinking about Mark and what could be.
So yeah, that's where I'm at. Caught in a whirlwind of emotions, trying to figure out love, identity, and everything in between. Life's never dull, that's for sure.
Idk what to do I'm feeling lost and I feel tight i hat my life and where i life i hate that i need to live like this he's not the first opportunity that i lost but this is definitely going to be the hardest if i doesn't happen the year will end in like two months so there's not alot of time
Ps:if you didn't get something or you want to ask about something just ask me and i will give you more details

Alright, so let me tell you what is happening in my life lately. I'm in my last year of high school, and let me tell you, it's been one heck of a ride. Living in a place where being gay isn't exactly celebrated has made things... complicated, to say the least.
Now, let's talk about this guy, we'll call him Mark. Mark's been on my mind for what feels like forever. I mean, we've known each other for years, and I've had this major crush on him since day one. But here's the kicker: he's dated a couple of girls during that time, which made things a bit... confusing.
But then, in June 2022, something crazy happened. Mark and I ended up hanging out together, just the two of us. It wasn't an official date or anything, but it sure felt like one. We went shopping, had dinner, and even went for a spontaneous swim. And let me tell you, that swim was a game-changer. We were holding hands, making eye contact we even make alot of physical touch and we hugged these things are not really accepted in here so seeing this coming from a guy was definitely something that i was thinking alot of.It felt like there was something real there, you know?
But then, out of nowhere, he pulls a disappearing act. Blocked me on all social media, like I was yesterday's news. The whole thing happened in the first month of mark and one my classmates start dating (a girl).Talk about a gut punch and feeling confused.
He ghosted me, blocked me
And just when I thought things couldn't get any crazier, rumors started flying about me being gay. Some anonymous Instagram account decided to out me to the whole school(not everybody saw it but it was enough of people), and let me tell you, it was a nightmare. I was thinking of ending it all i was not mayself that day was the worst thing i ever have to experience being jaild and killed at this age felt unreal but in that moment it was so possible I felt like I was under a microscope, with everyone whispering behind my back.
But, life goes on, Things eventually calmed down, and I tried to move on(the post get deleted a day after but the effect still to this day happing). Until recently(march of 2024) that is. Mark and his girlfriend broke up, and suddenly, he's back in my life. He unblocked me start liking my posts, following me again and start to replay to my stories – the whole shebang.the feelings are starting to get back at me and this time it's even worst after we get more mature and the conversation start to get deep and emotional between us But here's the thing: I have no clue if he's into me or if he's just like that. We still hug and stuff, which gives me major mixed signals.
Meanwhile, i can say shit it dangerous and I'm not really trying to risk shit and obviously I'm trying to keep my grades up so I can get into college, but it's hard to focus when my mind's constantly on overdrive, thinking about Mark and what could be.
So yeah, that's where I'm at. Caught in a whirlwind of emotions, trying to figure out love, identity, and everything in between. Life's never dull, that's for sure.
Idk what to do I'm feeling lost and I feel tight i hat my life and where i life i hate that i need to live like this he's not the first opportunity that i lost but this is definitely going to be the hardest if i doesn't happen the year will end in like two months so there's not alot of time
Ps:if you didn't get something or you want to ask about something just ask me and i will give you more details