Knee muscle diagram

Warm-Up Routines for Badminton Players
Effective warm-up routines are essential for badminton players to prevent injuries, enhance performance, and ensure that their bodies are prepared for the intense physical demands of the game. Here, we outline a comprehensive warm-up routine that includes general exercises for badminton players and sport-specific movements to get you ready for the court.
Why Warm-Up is Important
Warming up increases blood flow to muscles, improves flexibility, and primes the nervous system for the physical activity ahead. For badminton players, a well-structured warm-up helps in improving reaction times, agility, and overall performance on the court. Additionally, it reduces the risk of injuries such as strains, sprains, and muscle tears, which are common in high-intensity sports like badminton.
Components of a Good Warm-Up Routine
A thorough warm-up routine for badminton players should consist of the following components:

1. General Aerobic Exercise
2. Dynamic Stretching
3. Sport-Specific Drills
4. Mental Preparation

Let's break down each component in detail.
1. General Aerobic Exercise
Start with light aerobic exercises to increase your heart rate and blood flow to your muscles. This phase should last about 5-10 minutes and can include activities such as:
- Jogging: A light jog around the court or in place helps to gradually raise your heart rate. - Skipping Rope: This is particularly beneficial for badminton players as it mimics the quick, explosive movements required in the game. - Cycling: If you have access to a stationary bike, 5 minutes of moderate cycling can effectively warm up your lower body muscles.
2. Dynamic Stretching
Dynamic stretching involves moving parts of your body and gradually increasing reach, speed of movement, or both. It prepares the muscles and joints for the specific movements of badminton. Here are some dynamic stretches tailored for badminton players:
- Leg Swings: Stand on one leg and swing the other leg forward and backward, then side to side. This helps to loosen the hip flexors, hamstrings, and adductors. - Arm Circles: Extend your arms to the sides and make small circles, gradually increasing to larger circles. This warms up the shoulder joints, which are crucial for overhead shots. - Torso Twists: Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and twist your torso from side to side, keeping your hips stable. This exercise warms up the core muscles and the lower back.
3. Sport-Specific Drills
After general aerobic exercises and dynamic stretching, move on to sport-specific drills. These drills should mimic the movements you'll be performing during the game, allowing your body to become accustomed to the intensity and types of movements required.
- Shadow Badminton: Without a shuttlecock, perform all the different shots like smashes, clears, drives, and drops as if you were playing a real game. This helps to warm up your muscles and joints while also focusing on footwork and technique. - Footwork Drills: Practice your footwork patterns such as the front-back movement, side-to-side shuffles, and the split-step. Good footwork is essential for reaching the shuttlecock efficiently. - Reaction Drills: Have a partner point in different directions, and you must react quickly and move accordingly. This enhances your reaction time and agility.
4. Mental Preparation
While physical preparation is critical, mental readiness is equally important. Take a few minutes to mentally prepare yourself for the game:
- Visualization: Visualize yourself executing perfect shots and winning points. Positive visualization can enhance performance and build confidence. - Deep Breathing: Practice deep breathing exercises to calm your nerves and focus your mind. Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a moment, and exhale slowly through your mouth.
Putting It All Together
Here’s a sample warm-up routine for badminton players:
1. General Aerobic Exercise (5-10 minutes) - 3 minutes of jogging or skipping rope - 2 minutes of cycling or brisk walking
2. Dynamic Stretching (5-10 minutes) - 1 minute of leg swings (30 seconds each leg) - 1 minute of arm circles (30 seconds forward, 30 seconds backward) - 1 minute of torso twists - 1 minute of lunges with a twist (30 seconds each side) - 1 minute of high knees or butt kicks
3. Sport-Specific Drills (10-15 minutes) - 5 minutes of shadow badminton - 5 minutes of footwork drills - 5 minutes of reaction drills
4. Mental Preparation (3-5 minutes) - 2 minutes of visualization - 1-2 minutes of deep breathing
Conclusion An effective warm-up routine is an essential part of the training regimen for badminton players. Incorporating a combination of general aerobic exercises, dynamic stretching, sport-specific drills, and mental preparation ensures that players are physically and mentally ready for the game. By following these exercises for badminton players, you can improve your performance, reduce the risk of injury, and enhance your overall enjoyment of the sport.

And today I'm back to work for the first time. I would have taken this week off, but needed to be here for a conference we're having. I'm in IT, so there's not a lot of physical activity for my job, but sitting at my desk for a couple of hours this morning has caused a little more swelling than I'd like. I told my coworkers that have come by to say hi to not be surprised if they see me propping my leg up on my desk.
My story so far: I'm a 60 year old male that had ACL reconstruction on my left knee at 30 for a basketball injury. I rehabbed the knee to the point I was able to play again a year later, and promptly blew my right knee. Basketball became a distant memory at that point. I had more pain in my reconstructed knee, so I decided the left knee should be first for replacement.
With less than 20 months until retirement, I decided to use some of my sick leave and begin the process to getting my knees replaced. I'm honestly happy that I got it done at 60 instead of waiting for retirement. My recovery has been almost easy compared to some of the stories I've read in this helpful sub. I've always been a gym rat, and weight training has always been fun for me. My legs were very muscled when I went under the knife, and my goal was not to lose much strength at all.
Everyone's story is different, but this is mine so far. During the first week, I was able to ditch the oxi and the walker. I bought a cane, but never used it. My surgeon asked me to keep on taking the Celebrex and baby aspirin, and at this point I continued the Tylenol and a muscle relaxer at night.
Week two was pretty much the same as week one. I started using stairs but only with my non-surgical leg. I stretched more and did more exercises. I spent time with ice and elevation to keep the swelling down.
At the beginning of this week three, I started PT and started going to the gym again. My gait is actually better than it was with my old knee, because there's already less pain than my old "bone on bone" knee had. My wife says I'm walking without hunching which had become a bad habit before. I've started using stairs with both knees, and have gotten to 0 degrees straight and 95 degrees bent. Yesterday for the first time I was able to use an exercise bike at full rotation; albeit, with the seat height a little higher than normal. Before that, I was only using a stationary bike for stretching while rocking back and forth. I'm also doing leg presses at 60 pounds and table top squats along with other exercises.
My surgeon and PT tech have been super pleased with me, but I really think I owe them both a lot as they've both done a fantastic job with me. My surgery ran a couple of hours long, because she had to work at a lot of bone spurs, and also deal with my previous ACL surgery.
I'm looking forward to getting my right knee done in the middle of September, and am so happy I made the decision to get it done this year.

As per the title: My quads are absolutely burning above the knee when I'm cycling!
I do my split squats with my exercise physiologist and physiotherapist but as you know sometimes we engage different muscles on some exercises. I'm wondering if any of my differently jointed buddies have had any luck with any alternative approaches to getting a good burn in the lower quads that I can try to improve my endurance and strength?

Hi Everyone,
I am going down a bit of a rabbit hole right now. I did a DAO test recently under suspicion that histamine was causing an issue. I had the results back and it confirmed my DAO was low (5.4 u/ml) so it looks like I am histamine intolerant.
But I have some problematic symptoms that aren't just gut-related.
My main symptom right now is joint pain all over my body. It effects my hands, fingers, wrists, knees, ankles and feet. It can change in severity daily and happens in flares after certain medications. These include ADHD stimulant meds and minoxidil.
Other symptoms include stomach upset after food, gas, sometimes pain or spasms, anxiety, back pain, hip pain, muscle cramps and stiffness, hair loss, dry eyes, muscle twitching and some vision issues.
I am currently being tested for Rheumatoid arthritis. But with the test results of the DAO, I am thinking it might actually be relating to this. I have looked into MCAS and Mastocytosis, and see that bone and joint pain is a symptom. With histamine intolerance, I am not sure it is?
My doctor has stated he will not perform a Tryptase test, so I will have to get this private. I am lost at what avenue to go down.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Hi Everyone,
I am going down a bit of a rabbit hole right now. I did a DAO test recently under suspicion that histamine was causing an issue. I had the results back and it confirmed my DAO was low (5.4 u/ml) so it looks like I am histamine intolerant.
But I have some problematic symptoms that aren't just gut-related.
My main symptom right now is joint pain all over my body. It affects my hands, fingers, wrists, knees, ankles and feet. It can change in severity daily and happens in flares after certain medications. These include ADHD stimulant meds and minoxidil.
Other symptoms include stomach upset after food, gas, sometimes pain or spasms, anxiety, back pain, hip pain, muscle cramps and stiffness, hair loss, dry eyes, muscle twitching and some vision issues.
I am currently being tested for Rheumatoid arthritis. But with the test results of the DAO, I am thinking it might actually be relating to this. I have looked into MCAS and Mastocytosis, and see that bone and joint pain is a symptom. With histamine intolerance, I am not sure it is?
My doctor has stated he will not perform a Tryptase test, so I will have to get this private. I am lost at what avenue to go down.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

I started training for a Marathon around a Month ago. I still have around 4.5 Months left. My goal for it is to finish before timekeeping cutoff at 5:30h. My mileage last Week was 19km, but my longest run was still a 5k.
My main problem is, that my muscles just start to feel very tired. Way before I actually feel exhausted. I ran 5k 4 times last week and stopped once at 4K. Pretty easy pace, 34-38 Minutes each.
My muscles are not sore the next day. I feel completely fine. I always had a rest day in between, where I just stretch and do a bit of light strength work.
Do I still need to rest more? Do I cut down on the length of some runs and try one longer run? Do just continue like now?
I am a complete beginner did no cardio before 1 month ago, just reading up on stuff mostly. Had knee problems when I started out, but with a slight adjustment on my stride it has improved drastically, this problem seems to be gone for now at least.
I just can’t figure out how to make my legs run longer. Do I just run through that feeling of fatigue?

Doctor keeps telling me to deal with it, (they say it more doctory than that but you get the idea.)
I broke my knee and stretched my ligament in a skiing accident 8 years ago. They used a screw to put the bone back on place. I did physio therapy back then and it got better, although I never got back into the same level of exercise as before the injury.
Now I'm finding it hurts again. work is brutal on it I'm on my feet for 9 hours. I want to get back into rock climbing and hiking but I'm nervous it will give way under me or I'll do more damage.
How can I strengthen it? I'm sure more muscle will help but trying to push past the pain currently to get it stronger sucks. Can I just contact a physio myself or does a doctor have to refur me? (I'm in the UK)

I'm only 8 weeks out of a covid infection so it might not be long covid yet, but I wanted to ask people who knew better than me. After I exert, I immediately feel racing heart and muscle fatigue (similar to how you feel after a workout, but only while moving) and that lasts for a while, maybe calms down but comes back when I try to move around (even if I'm moving less). For example, last night I paced back and forth for a while, and when I stopped, I went to lie down and felt those symptoms. Today, my arm kind of hurts for some reason, and my knees hurt when I walk, and my legs do burn a bit as well when I walk (more than usual), but other than that I feel fine. I also don't have any consistent mental symptoms - I have some brain fog, but it doesn't seem to be affected by exertion.
Unsure if this is PEM or just deconditioning, since I seem to lack the flu-like symptoms I've heard about (unless the muscle soreness counts?). My mind also feels fine, and I feel physically okay as long as I'm not actively moving or have just finished moving (some angles are painful for my arm, but other than that I feel pretty much fine as long as I'm not on my feet. It does take a bit of time to recover from standing, though.) So... what do you all think?

I will have my derm appointment in 3 days, and im scared they will rase my dosage. Im on 30mg right now and i used to have really bad side effects ( couldnt see well, eyes always watering, runny nose, intense back pain and ribcage pain, my knees feel like they re about to pop out, and obviously rashes and dryness) and ever since i started taking claritin with accutane my side effects minimized a lot. Plus, my skin actually cleared up so well (i didnt really have big issues before, i took accutane for rosacea type 2, not for acne) However since my last appointment i also lost like 5 kg (i used to have 74 when i started and now i have around 69) and i feel like if i got a dose increase it would be horrible for me. Im scared of purging and i just cant stand the side effects when it comes to my bones/muscles and eyes. I just dont know what to do about it, because i feel like im not in a position where i can tell my derm what to do, especially cause doctors in my country are not as sweet and understanding as they are in the us or other countries, they re actually pretty mean. Should I lie and say that I’m continuously having extreme side effects in hopes that they would not raise my dose? or should i just let them do it?

PC
Reddit Account: FatalisticBunny
Discord Tag: Freed#4998
Name and House: Bors
Age: 43
Cultural Group: Dornish
Appearance: Bors is a man with a square jaw, dark eyes, and a dark beard. He does not have as much hair as he had in his youth, though he is not balding, instead just preferring a short style. He is somewhat short, but has a bulky build with no shortage of muscle. He dresses plainly, like a worker, and his hands are calloused. https://imgur.com/a/vgOE1f2
Trait: Conqueror
Skill(s): Cunning[e], Tactician[e], Ambusher
Talent(s): Weaving, Propaganda, Nationalism
Negative Trait(s): N/A
Starting Title(s): Meria's Man, Commander of the Orphans of the Rhoyne
Starting Location: High Hermitage
Alternate Characters: N/A
Family Tree: Bors m. Arianne (d) Damon (d) Ynys Quentyn
AC
Name and House: Ynys
Age: 21
Cultural Group: Dornish
Appearance: Ynys is a tall woman, freckled and with blue eyes. She resembles her mother more than her father, and has a tendency to dress in bright, glorious colors. She is charming, and somewhat bouncy, far more than her somewhat dour father. https://imgur.com/a/PQPHPJM
Trait: Unscrupulous
Skill(s): Raider[e], Tactician
Talent(s): Sneakery, Bribery, Propaganda
Negative Trait(s): N/A
Starting Title(s): Daughter of Dorne
Starting Location: High Hermitage
Alternate Characters: N/A
Family Tree: See Above
Bio:
The deserts of Dorne are a hard place. Harder still, since the dragons came. Since you paid an extra hunk of silver on every coin so that the Princess could buy some jade amulets from Yi Ti, and another silver so that she could send it to her monarch. Since a thousand Dornish weavers and a thousand Dornish smiths were sent out to starve, because it became the fashion in courts to wear Reachman arms, and bear a sword in the shape of the Stormlords. Life was harder, in Dorne now, but the nobles didn't seem to bear any of it. Not most of them, anyways.
There were weddings, to be sure, but none that anyone less fortunate had ever been invited to. Grand celebrations, but all they meant to anybody real was that more men were coming south. And it was always men, because the way of things up there was that women were beneath. And of course, they brought that down with them too. The lords, and the princes, and their attendants and their households. These attitudes did not vanish into the air.
Not to the Queens and the ladies, of course, but to those who didn't have levies to protect them. Many knights had slapped a female servant for daring to speak out of turn, or refused to be taught by a woman master-at-arms. And that was just the tip of it. The Dornish were lustful by nature, the Westerosi told each other. They found that an excuse for all sorts of things, and for the sake of peace, one was just supposed to forget they had ever happened.
These were not the only attitudes that bled through. In Meria's age, the smallfolk had been respected. Not held so high as lords, but given bread and water in the case of famine. Some had risen high in Sunspear and the surrounding castles. But now, the Westerosi chafed to see the lowborn rise so high, and they swatted them down. It was not only birth that upset them. Certain things may be tolerated in a wife or husband who brought land or a dower. But to be served at a table by one with "shifty eyes?" To have your child nursed by a "dark-skinned" woman? All these lords, all these ladies, married in for the sake of peace, believed that the Dornish were lesser. That they were treacherous, wanton. Exotic, but untrustworthy, fickle and licentious. If left to their own devices, liable to poison you and eat your children. Perhaps they restrained these impulses for political gain, but the common people of Dorne were easy prey. And so, when given the chance, they were the ones that suffered.
Bors was not, initially, much of a soldier. He had fought against the Stormlands, in a great battle, although he had not known much about the war itself. He had been fighting for Dorne, and that was enough for him. He'd return home, and he'd become a weaver. One who had worked hard, and gotten employed at Sunspear. Who'd taken a wife, and had three children. He'd always been something of a good speaker, but he'd not had a mind for tactics, particularly. It had been a good life, and one in which he was well-satisfied. He was not an ambitious man.
Then, there had been a deal to bring in wool and cloth from some province in the Reach. Bors remembered when they had told him that they had a new weaver. His cheeks were pink, and he was a scarce twenty years old. A favorite of some Reachlord who had married a Toland, he heard. It didn't matter. He was out, and he needed to find some new work, or else he would be begging on the streets. He heard that they had started rounding up beggars. And so, Bors decided that he ought to join the fighting in the Stepstones.
It was a hard-fought campaign. Harder than the Stormlands. Bors saw good men die, drowning or stabbed. It was only because they were fighting for Dorne that he was able to push through. Princess Meria had died, and Bors intended to give her a grand farewell present. He came to be seen as something of a leader amongst the group, simply because he was a hard worker, and because he had an ability to rally the others, when they were uncertain.
What came of that war? Nothing. The Stepstones fell, but they held only one. The Dragon Queen constructed a grand citadel, with which to hold a knife to Dorne's throat forever more, with her wretched beat. And Deria Martell spat in her grandmother's face and bent the knee. She bowed, and every loyal man and woman of Dorne wept.
One might then decry the slow descent of Dorne into tyranny. The way Westerosi hatred and suspicion of one's neighbor crept in, poisoning the well. But it was not slow. They built up monuments to wealth in a city where their policies left people hungry, and thirsty. They took loiterers and debtors into the navy, forcing them to die to protect their rocks. Bors's eldest son, Damon, had liked to bet on horse races, on occasion, and hadn't had the funds to back it up. A pirate had put a spear through his face, eight days into his service. That same day, some cousin of Lord Drinkwater had paid his debts off, and they'd thrown a feast in his honor.
It was that day that Bors, and several of his men set off. And they burned a caravan, coming from the Reach. The bread that it carried, that which could be salvaged, was split amongst them. Any they could not carry, they left for the poor. That band has waned in sizes, over the years. And it's one by many names. The Orphans of Mother Rhoyne. Meria's Men. The Unbowed. It is not so strict an organization, as to have a roster. And its members are different, too. Some men fight, kill, and raid for a free Dorne. Some simply resist the Seven Kingdoms where they can. Some simply know that in their heart, the false king and his Queens will fall, and a free Dorne will rise again. All these are Bors's kin.
Bors himself would say that he is not important. That he is just one of a surging tide, hoping to free his fellow people from that which has been forced to see. But Bors has seen much, and he has learned to fight. He has learned to command. He carries within him a spirit unmatched by many. And that spirit is infectious. He had learned what it is to fight for Dorne, and he passes that spirit onto others. The skill in question is Conqueror, but that is not what Bors is, not truly. Bors defends his homeland, he defends his people, he defends the weak and defenseless from the true Conquerors. Bors is a liberator, in his heart, and he has honed his skills at that not only from his experience on campaign, but from his band, prowling the desert.
Some call Bors "The One Who Remains." And that is who he is, at heart. When the Martells pushed for Dorne to submit, Bors pushed for Dorne to remain. To remain free, to remain accepting, to remain Dorne. And when Bors pushed, with his skill and charisma, he found a great many more pushing with him. It is something of a misnomer though, after all. Those who fight for Dorne number far more than one.
Archetyped NPCs: Quentyn - General Mel - Bandit

Listen, ladies. This topic thread has become depressing and we are not doing ourselves any favors by wallowing. I am guilty of it as much as anyone else, but we have to stop this self-loathing and excuse-making.
Not to be harsh, but we can do so much more than what some of these "facts" being spewed are trying to make us believe. I beg you... Do not use lipedema as your reasoning for not trying really hard to get the level of health and activity that you want - the level of health and activity you DESERVE.
Yes, even the wonderful doctors who are doing lipedema liposuction surgeries and the therapists that say we need special massage for the rest of our lives are still just looking to make money off of us. Why would they want to make us believe that we can make a difference with diet and exercise?
Yes, lipedema is painful. But pain is also surmountable. You can push past and beyond pain and live an extremely fulfilling life. Lipedema does not mean you are doomed to become disabled. Pain is not an excuse to stop taking care of yourself. I myself have used it as an excuse to back away from exercise, and it only made things worse for me in the long run. We ALL need to stop. Instead, we need to find ways to make it better, to push each other, and to fight for ourselves.
My background, in case you doubt that I understand how extreme pain can be: I was covered in 3rd degree burns after a motorcycle accident when I was 20 years old. I've been living with progressing lipedema (by now it is stage 3) since I was 11 (puberty). 50% of my skin -mostly on the left side of my body- is thick, fibrous, contractured scar tissue and has been for the last 19 years. In the accident, I also broke my lower back, herniated a disc, ripped off my kneecaps, tore my rotator cuff, dislocated my big toe and several fingers, and nearly severed my pinky finger. I had 9 skin graft surgeries, got 11 different types of infection including pseudomonas in my blood, developed pneumonia, and got a life-threatening blood clot in my left leg from my knee to my groin. Don't get me started on the PTSD, anxiety, and depression.
Bottom line: We CAN overcome lipedema. We CAN gain muscle. We CAN lose fat. We CAN push past pain. We just have to be willing to fight.

I first started noticing that something was wrong around 3 months ago. At the time, I was working from home and would usually light a scented candle while I worked, which usually helped me relax and stay focused on my work. I would usually burn through a candle a week, but over time, the candles started to take less time to fully burn up. At first, I thought that this was because of a change in ingredients the company that made the candles used, but the problem persisted after I switched candle brands, which I once again blamed on the candle manufacturers.
I kept this belief for another week until the first incident. While getting up from my computer desk, which faces away from the candle, to take a quick bathroom break, I caught a glimpse of the lit candle. A two-inch layer of molten wax rested on another three-inch layer of solid wax, the wicks rising out at first and being somewhat visible through the molten layer, finally breaking the surface and being slowly burned away. The flames flickered as I swung the door open and walked out of the room. When I returned 10 minutes later, the molten layer was gone, and the wicks had been shortened so that the flames rested right above the solid layer of the wax. At first, I thought that the glass jar that contained the candle was leaking, but after a short inspection, I was only able to find two small drops of candle wax that had solidified right next to the candle on the bedside table. I still had 2 hours of work left to do, but I was too lost in thought and was unable to do any work for the rest of the day.
Every night before I go to sleep, I like to read for at least 30 minutes, and while reading, I usually light a candle. Around 4 days later, I had mostly forgotten about the incident and went back to using candles. Due to my naivety, it returned.
I fell asleep while reading with a candle lit on my bedside table. I woke up to loud slurping noises. As I opened my eyes, the brightness of the light I had not turned off almost blinded me. As my eyes tried to readjust to the light and focus on what was in front of me, I saw a somewhat humanoid dark gray to light blue blur that contrasted with the white paint on the walls behind it. Another gray line stretched from the shape's head to the candle on my bedside table. I could feel my heart skip five consecutive beats. I opened my mouth and tried to force out a scream for help, but the pressure I applied to my throat was way beyond what it was able to handle, leading me to only produce a light wheezing sound. I tried to sit up or to at least prop myself up, but my muscles failed me. Trying to push myself up with my arms felt impossible. As I stared at the figure that had suddenly appeared in my room, my eyes finally managed to focus, making it possible for me to see the intruder who was now staring at me. The figure was a man at least 7 feet tall, fully naked; he looked bloated; his eyes were bloodshot and looked like they would pop out of their sockets; at any point, his skin was a grayish light blue.
HIS LIPS
His lips extended from his mouth like an elephant's trunk, which had been split in half. The lips extended from the man's face to the candle; the flames had been put out. He was using his lips as a makeshift straw, slowly sucking up all the molten wax from the candle, which had fully liquified while I was asleep. I laid in bed, unable to move, unable to scream for help, staring until he emptied the jar. His lips retracted back to his face, the molten wax solidifying on their tips and cracking, flakes of wax falling off the man's lips and falling to the floor. The man grinned, staring at me. The ridges and gaps between the teeth were filled in with wax, making it impossible to make out where one tooth ended and the next one began. The man opened the door he was standing next to, but instead of walking out of the room, he stepped behind it. His face peered at me from above the door, and then once again, like he had done to drink the wax, the man puckered his lips, which stretched from his mouth and floated to me. I shook and tried to roll over away from him. I wanted to get up and run, but my fear had taken over my body. Tears flowed from my eyes. He kissed me on the cheek, leaving flakes of wax and light moisture. He retracted his lips and lowered his head behind the door.
I don't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up, I saw the empty glass jar, which at one point contained the candle. Even though I had hoped that what had happened was a dream, it wasn't. I still had flakes of wax on my cheek, and on my bedroom floor, the wax in the jar had disappeared. I called the police, but they were unable to find anyone in my apartment; they also could not find any evidence of a break-in.
After the break-in, I started looking for a new apartment to move to, thinking that the man was tied to the building I was in, but even though I had thrown out all of my candles, I could not stomach spending another hour in my apartment, constantly looking over my shoulder or walking around with my back pressed up against the wall to not allow it to creep up on me. Thankfully, my friend Emma was able to let me stay over at her apartment while I looked for a new one for myself.
Me and Emma have been friends since we were 8, and we've been there to support each other when times get rough. This isn’t the first time I've had to stay over at her house for an extended amount of time; in fact, I have had to stay over at Emma’s as many times as she has had to stay over at my apartment, whether it was because of evictions after losing a job, breakups, or a candle wax drinking squatter. I didn't even know if it was human. I mean, sure, it looked like one, but human lips are not supposed to do what his did, and somehow it didn't have a reaction to molten wax being poured down its esophagus. I didn't tell Emma about what happened—the details at least—I just told her that a man had broken into my house and was watching me sleep. The only people I told the truth to were my therapist and the cops, and all of them disregarded what I told them as my mind making things up after a traumatic event.
For a while, I believed what they said—I mean, why wouldn’t I?—but then I started seeing him again. For a few days, I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me again like it had done during the night of the incident. For split seconds out of the corner of my eye, I would see the outline of a tall, bloated figure. At first, they were hours apart, but after a while, it became constant. He was standing in each room I passed, in every single dark corner I glanced past, and then he spoke.
“FeeD MeEeee”
It stood in the kitchen, peering over from a small gap between the fridge and the sink, where the trash can that had been knocked over onto its side usually stood. His voice was raspy, and every word that came out of his mouth was distorted as if he were gargling water, but still, I could somehow clearly make out each word he said from over 15 feet away.
“Please just leave me alone I… why are you following me?”
I shouted at the figure, the same fear that had taken over my body during the night I saw him for the first time paralyzing me, making it impossible for me to move anything other than my eyes, eyelids, and mouth.
“i’M sTarviNg, I nEEd You To FeEd ME”
It replied again. Now, stepping out from behind the fridge, he stepped directly onto a rotten banana. Its mushy brown content’s seeping out of the peel under the pressure of his decomposing foot, which was covered in scabs, and took up the same grayish light blue color as the rest of his body. He mostly looked the same; his bloodshot eyes bulged from their sockets, but now his tongue was swollen. It peeked out from between his bloated, cracked gray lips; it stared at me, waiting for an answer.
“Ok, I’ll.. I’ll feed you, but please just... leave me alone.”
I replied, the tone of my voice shifting into high-pitched squeals with every quick breath I took. He looked satisfied by my response. He somehow squeezed his bloated body back into the gap that was at least four times smaller than him. After peering over at me from above the fridge, he bent over backwards, his spine releasing a series of sickening cracks until he was fully obscured by the fridge, and then he vanished.
Still barely in control of my body, I limped over to the couch tucked away in the back corner of the living room, it took me at least 10 minutes to steady my breathing and 20 more to fully regain control of my body again but as soon as I did I ran out the house and to the nearest store, during the 15-minute walk he stared at me through dark windows and the backs of cars, peered out at me from gaps between leaves in the trees and bushes, he even followed me into the store staring at me from the middle of deserted isles before disappearing right before my eyes were able to fully catch him, once I finally got the candles I randomly picked four off of the shelves and rushed to the self checkout.
When I arrived home, I had 2 hours before Emma got off work. I didn't want to feed it while she was home, and I didn't want her to see it. I pulled out two of the candles from the black plastic bag and placed them on the kitchen table, the first a light blue candle named “Garden Rain” and the second a red candle named “Juicy Watermelon." I pulled out a lighter from one of the drawers Emma used after her stove stopped lighting on its own and lit each of the 6 wicks on the candles. As soon as I started seeing the wax melt under the heat of the burning wicks, I dropped the lighter onto the table next to the candles and ran out of the room. I could not stomach seeing that thing again; even just thinking about it made me shudder and hyperventilate. The paralyzing fear that seeing him caused me made me want to vomit.
At least 30 minutes later I started to hear it drink even though the living room and kitchen were separated by a wall, even though I had closed the door I could still hear what at first started as slurping sounds which were followed up by loud gulps, then it stopped, and once again 30 minutes later it started drinking, as the slurping started once again I heard the door to the apartment crack open, it was Emma, as she stepped through the door I saw her carrying two large brown paper bags of groceries in her hands, she was headed to the kitchen.
“Hey let me grab those for you”
I said running over to her, my voice shaking.
“Oh, thanks. Are you… okay, you look scared?”
My eyes shot wide open in a mixture of fear and surprise. I said the first thing that came to mind.
“Yeah just umm… I didn't expect you to come home so early and I got a bit spooked”
“shit sorry, I know I should have called you, work let me off early today,”
I started to turn away from her walking to the kitchen.
Trying to keep her away from the kitchen I told her to wait for me in the living room because I wanted to talk to her about something. I didn't know what I would talk to her about but that was a problem for future me to resolve, somehow it worked.
“What's that sound?”
She called out to me while walking towards the living room couch. It took me a few seconds to come up with an excuse.
“I think it’s the sink, or the pipes at least”
I opened the door to the kitchen with my eyes closed at first hesitant to look knowing what would be greeting me. slowly prying my eyes open I started to see its outline, my muscles started to lose strength as the details of the man came into my view, I felt the grocery bags start to slip from my arms, my knees buckled, face first I fell onto the kitchen floor scattering the groceries all over the floor, I mixture of a light scream and a yelp escaped from my mouth as my body made contact with the floor, Emma concerned for my safety ran into the kitchen, she didn't scream, using all of the strength and mobility I had left in my muscles I rolled over expecting to see her face drenched in terror, her body frozen still unable to move just like my body had done the first time that I saw him, but Emma looked concerned, the man was gone, she crouched down beside me.
“Oh my god are you ok? What happened?”
I looked around observing my surroundings.
“I um… I… I tripped on the little thing at the bottom of the doorframe”
I finally managed to blurt out another excuse, not being able to remember what the name of a door sill was. I started to sit up using a part of the energy that had returned to my body, pain pulsed through my chest and arms, Emma looked at me with a concerned face.
“You've been acting really weird since I got home, are you sure you're ok?”
“Yeah… I think I’m just having one of those days you know”
The confusion on Emma’s face said that she didn’t know and to be honest I didn't either, I guess my luck of pulling random excuses out of my ass ran out, Emma thought that she triggered some sort of PTSD response after barging into the house unannounced at first apologizing then trying to change the subject to stop my trembling which I was still unsuccessfully trying to hide from her.
“Did you buy candles?”
Emma asked picking the groceries apart from the garbage that spilled out the can that the man had knocked over, placing them on the table next to the now half-empty glass jars, the flames flickered above the inch or so of molten wax the man was unable to finish drinking.
“Yeah I’ve been struggling with work lately, they usually help me focus”
“Huh Interesting combination you’ve got going on here”
She looked at me and smiled slightly, I smiled back and chuckled to seem normal.
“Yeah even I don't know what I was trying to accomplish here, to be honest”
I tried to help Emma clean up the spilled groceries but she did not let me, she told me that I needed to recover like I had been in a car crash instead of having taken a little tumble. After a few seconds of silence, Emma spoke again.
“Anyway, what did you want to talk to me about earlier?”
A quick jolt of stress shot through my body, in a jumbled mess of lies and fear I had forgotten what I had told Emma, I sat there in silence for a few seconds unable to come up with an excuse
“I…umm… I don’t remember, it wasn't anything serious though”
“Damn did you hit your head too?”
She said once again proudly smiling at her joke.
At this point Emma picked up the last bag of potato chips from the floor and placed it on the table, then she opened the fridge and started loading the groceries into it.
“Anyway I gotta go get back to work’’
I blurted out after a few more seconds of awkward silence.
“Alright well good luck”
I walked over into the living room and sat down in front of my workstation, which now consisted of a laptop sitting on a small foldable TV tray that had just barely enough room left on it to fit a small USB mouse.
The last thing I remember, before I fell asleep, was me mindlessly scrolling through apartment listings while Emma watched a random 90’s horror movie I’m positive only had a budget of $500.
I woke up with a light stinging pain shooting through my dry throat, and a dim hissing sound caused by thousands of water drops striking the ground outside filled the room. I pressed the spacebar on my laptop, the brightness of the screen blinding me temporarily, after taking a few seconds to let my eyes readjust I managed to make out the time, 3:45 AM. A strong smell I was unable to make out the origin of assaulted my nostrils. Lavender.
The smell hitting my nose had the same effect on me that I would expect smelling salts would have on a weightlifter right before they set a world record. Before I knew it my legs were moving on their own at an almost uncontrollable pace, fighting back against my mind which was telling them to slow down after years of being used to navigating both mine and Emma’s apartment as steadily as possible to not bother the neighbors.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity I stood before Emma’s bedroom door, a faint, yellow, pulsating light radiated from a lamp and snuck out of a small gap between the door and the doorframe, reluctantly I pushed my left hand up against the door, my right hand grasping onto the door frame for a sense of stability, once the door was fully agape I scanned the inside of the room my heart skipping a beat for every humanoid shadow cast up onto the wall by the lights from the wicks which were set ablaze and were being slowly burnt away.
I walked into Emma’s room and made my way over to her bedside table to put out the candle, as I stepped closer towards her, her face became more defined, I could finally make out her features, she was awake, but no she could not have been, even though her eyes were wide open they never blinked, she didn't even move slightly, as I moved closer I finally managed to fully make out the expression of pure terror on her face, her mouth wide agape as if she was about to release a deafening screach, but she could not have, a single drop of solidified wax dribbled out of the corner of her mouth and clung to her cheek, my eyes traced the cream colored path back towards her mouth, first up her cheek then between the corner of her mouth and finally behind her teeth, there instead of her tongue or the roof of her mouth I saw a wall of wax which had filled in the entirety of her mouth.
I fell to my knees and hunched forward supporting my body weight with my arms, I was too late, I resisted the urge to vomit and got back up onto my feet, a mixture of tears and snot slid down my face and onto my lips, shaking now I slowly started limping over towards my phone which I had left on the couch next to where I had awoken just minutes before, just minutes before my life was destroyed because of my lies if I had just told Emma what I had gone through, if I had just told her what had happened on the night of the incident which now seemed trivial, even if she thought that I was crazy, I know that she would have complied just to make me feel comfortable.
It took me at least 30 seconds of repeated attempts to stabilize my hands enough to properly dial 911. “Someone broke into my apartment and hurt my friend” was the only reasonable explanation I could come up with that would not get the operator to hang up on me thinking that this was a prank call.
I sat there in the living room for an agonizing 10 minutes, crying, my sadness slowly transformed into anger towards myself, and my mind raced thinking of all the lies I’d told, I kept thinking that if I had just told her the truth she would not have been laying there in her bed, her body bloated, “every single orifice has signs of forced penetration and has been filled with what seems to be candle wax” is what was written on her autopsy report.
For a few days I was the main suspect in Emma’s murder, but due to the almost unstoppable crying and the unresponsive state that I was in when the police arrived, mixed with the lack of evidence of me having a way to produce 30 pounds of candle wax led to me being released out of police custody, but because I was the main suspect I was not told any details about what had fully happened to Emma, for days all I had to work off of was the image of her face frozen in terror, and a short glance I caught of her bloated body as she was being carted out on a stretcher.
I recounted every single word of our last conversations over and over again until they became permanently etched into my brain.
Emma’s parents originally wanted to cremate her, as that is what she had somewhat jokingly asked for whenever the topic of funerals came up, well she had joked about wanting to have had unpopped popcorn shoved down her throat before she was sent off to “scare the shit out of the guy cremating me” but due to all the wax which would have been impossible to get out of her body they were forced to bury her.
A few days before Emma’s funeral her body disappeared.
After Emma’s death, her parents took me into their home, after reading the autopsy reports and seeing her corpse they had thrown out every single candle they owned which made their home the safest choice I had, still, this did not stop me from buying a machete and keeping it under my bed, just in case.
I was laying on the bed in their guest bedroom The day that the police informed Emma’s parents about her disappearance, the bedroom is right above the front porch of the house, at first I heard them ring the doorbell which was followed up by 3 powerful knocks on the door, for about a minute I laid there on the bed listening to muffled voices exchanging distorted words I was barely able to make out which slowly transformed into distorted weeps, curious I lifted myself up from the bed, made my way over to the window and carefully lifted the bottom panel making Shure to not make too much noise, the distorted muffled sounds started forming into coherent words “We checked the security footage but the only strange thing we could see was a 5 second time jump” one of the officers spoke in a serious and almost monotone voice “which meant that the security guard who was the only person in the building had to climb down 2 flights of stairs walk through a 40 foot long hallway and then drag her body back up stairs and out of the building in 5 seconds” Emma’s mom let out yelp “ but don’t worry ma'am that’s actually good news because we know that her corpse is still somewhere within the building and was probably brought to the wrong floor by an intern, we’ve already warned all of the staff at the hospital to keep an eye out, and we also sent 5 officers to search the hospital”
I could not believe what I was hearing, my breathing quickened, but this time instead of fear I felt anger, that fucker stole her corpse and was probably in the weird separate plane of existence he always went back to after terrorizing me, cutting off chunks of her body, melting her, and drinking her.
I closed the window Emma’s mom's cries once again turned into a muffled rumble which was only possible to make out if you knew what to look for, I took a few steps back away from the window planning to lay back down, not wanting to bother Emma’s parents. I bumped into something, not something, someone, its fleshy towering form as solid as a wall sent me tumbling forward, I knew it was him, he had returned to take me too, to stretch his swollen cracked lips, push them down my esophagus, fill my lungs and stomach with wax. But despite all of that this time I was not scared, I was angry, and I was not going to stand there in terror like I had the last time I saw him.
I fell forward onto my knees my face missing the window sill just by mere inches, I put my hands onto the floor, lifted one of my knees, and rotated 180 degrees now facing the monster, to the right of him pushed up against the wall was the bed, light from the sun reflected off of the metallic button which kept my machete in it’s sheathe, the man started to stretch his lips, they were moving towards me, waving a wiggling through the air like a snake slithering towards me.
I dove towards the bed one of my feet pushing off of the floor and the other pushing against the wall which creaked under the pressure applied to it, I flew for a few moments before slamming down onto the carpet and sliding forward, the heat generated by my skin brushing against the carpet released a sharp stinging pain throughout my body, my outstretched arm landed just a few inches short of the machete, I quickly bent my arms, pushing my body up and crawled towards the machete. my fingers wrapped around the handle I spun around, my back pushed up against the bedside table, once again facing the man, he was still facing the window but his lips faced me and were just a few feet away from me, for what felt like minutes but was most likely no longer than a second, I struggled to hook my finger under the strap securing the machete into its sheath, as the lips inched towards me the man started producing gurgling noises, he was regurgitation wax.
I finally pulled the machete out of its sheath, I swung the blade at the man's lips, the blade was not met with any resistance as it sliced through the man’s lips which landed on the carpeted floor with an audible thud, the man did not have a physical reaction to my counter-attack, his lips kept creeping towards me, once again I slashed at the lips, still no reaction, I repeated this at least 3 more times.
I wanted to kill him, I wanted to take revenge for what he had done to Emma, but fighting back was pointless. I realized that no matter how much I tried to hurt it, I could not kill him, I could not get rid of him.
My rage dissipated and a mixture of fear and sadness crept in, and soon took over my body, I screamed for help, I screamed in fear, in agony, tears streamed down my face as the man's lips finally reached my face, he wasn’t met with any resistance as his lips snuck between mine, pried my jaw open and finally started to slide down my esophagus.
I heard the cops run up the stairs, they started banging on the door asking if I was okay only to have been met with muffled screams, hot wax started to pour down inside of me, the stinging pain of the heat made me want to plunge the machete which I had dropped onto the ground next to me into my stomach to create a gaping wound that the wax would hopefully funnel out of, the texture of the man's slippery, oily lips matched with the poison like flavor of the wax caused me to start gagging, I felt my insides bulging like at any moment my intestines would have been filled to the point where they would pop, I wanted to vomit, the drain myself of the filth I was filled with, but his lips had plugged my throat not allowing anything to get out.
Hearing my muffled screams the cops started kicking the door down, the man retracted his lips, the suction aided my attempts at cleansing my insides, I got onto my hands and knees streams of molten wax pouring out of me, solidifying on the the carpet, with another loud thud the door swung open slamming into the wall, the man was gone.
That’s the last thing I remember before I passed out, but according to one of the doctors who was in the ambulance that brought me to the hospital, I was still semi-responsive during the first 10 minutes of the ride to the hospital.
Approximately 13.4 pounds of wax were removed from my body, the doctors said that I was in a critical condition and some of them did not expect me to make it.
One of the officers who was there the day the man attacked me took a report of what had happened to me, due to the unmistakable evidence of what had happened to both me and Emma, and the fact that this was the 3rd instance of me reporting something like this the police finally started investigating who this man might have been.
Around a month later I was discharged from the hospital and once again have been staying in the living room of Emma’s parent's house.
I’ve been seeing the man again, candles were not allowed in the hospital I stayed at, which means that he’s probably very hungry, he’s close to attacking me again, I know it, he wants to finish what he started and I don't know if I have the power to fight back, I’m not sure if defeating him is even possible, I’m tired.
I’ve been seeing Emma too, her bloated, reanimated corpse often appears to be standing next to the man. If I let him take me will I get to join them? I’ve tried asking but they don’t answer, they just stare, I can’t keep living in constant fear, always looking over my shoulder, I miss Emma.

Quick fill in: I 28 male have been going to the gym for about a year now ever since I had surgery on my knee for a new ACL ( work related). I went to the gym a few times in my early 20s but after doing PT I was hooked . I have a super high metabolism that causes me to stay around 156lbs with no protein shakes and bulk eating. I have focused on chest for the last two months and can’t seem to get my upper chest to look more shaped or more full. I have been doing pectoral and deltoid focused workouts, cabled pulls, and flys. I take basic preworkout and 4 grams of creatine(everyday) before a workout and the pumps much better but the pectoral muscle stays the same. I apologize, I keep to myself and haven’t been good at anything that involves talking to people, but any tips would be appreciated!!!

I wrote a post like this before (thanks for the support before), but I did not like the title or the words in it, and I did not want it to be viewed as edited. Anyway, here it is:
Note: I didn't want to make a reddit post for suggestions before, so I used 2 AI's called Google Gemini and Pi AI to help make this training plan and to make suggestions for this training plan.
"Warm-up (Before every session):

1. 5-10 Minutes Light Jog: Increases blood flow and prepares muscles for activity.
2. Dynamic Stretches (15-30 seconds each):

• Arm circles (forward and backward)
• Leg swings (forward and backward)
• Lunges with twists (right and left leg)
• High knees
• Butt kicks

Day 1: Speed and Agility

• Strides: 3 sets of 20-foot strides at a comfortable pace with a walk back recovery.
• Lateral Shuffles: 3 sets of 15 seconds moving laterally with 20-second rest between sets.
• Ladder Drills (use chalk or tape): 3 sets of 20-second agility drills with 30-second rest (focus on footwork and change of direction).

Day 2: Technical Skills (Attacking)

• Dribbling (20 minutes):
  • Cone dribbling: Set up cones in a straight line or a square and practice dribbling around them with both feet.
  • Change of direction dribbling: Dribble back and forth focusing on sharp changes of direction while maintaining control.
  • Speed dribbling: Find a long stretch of field and practice dribbling at your top speed with both feet.
• Passing (20 minutes):
  • Wall passing: Find a wall and pass the ball back and forth with both feet, focusing on accuracy and control.
  • One-touch passing: Set up a small target, pass the ball towards the target, and quickly move to a new position before receiving the ball again.
  • Long Passing:
    • Long diagonals: Set up markers or use natural landmarks to create long diagonal passing lines. Practice hitting accurate long passes with both feet.

Day 3: Rest or Active Recovery

• Light activity like swimming, yoga, or biking to aid recovery and maintain fitness.

Day 4: Fitness

• Interval Training: 1-mile jog with 3 sets of 20-foot sprints at a comfortable pace after each mile.

Day 5: Technical Skills (Defending & Attacking)

• 1v1 Defending (15 minutes): Set up cones or objects as imaginary attackers and practice defending them 1-on-1, focusing on staying goal side and winning the ball cleanly.
• Legal Defending Skills (15 minutes): Practice legal defending techniques such as slide tackles, jockeying, and blocking shots against imaginary attackers or cones.
• Passing (15 minutes):
  • Wall passing: Pass the ball back and forth with both feet, focusing on accuracy and control.
  • One-touch passing: Set up a small target, pass the ball towards the target, and quickly move to a new position before receiving the ball again.
• Crossing (15 minutes):
  • Crossing from cones: Set up cones on the right and left sides of the field and practice crossing the ball with both feet from different distances, aiming for a target area in the box.

Day 6: Rest

• Complete rest to allow the body to recover and recharge.

Day 7: Fun and Recreation

• Enjoy a light soccer-related activity, such as a pick-up game, or engage in a different sport for cross-training.

Cool-down (After every session):

• Static Stretches (hold each stretch for 15-30 seconds): Improves flexibility and reduces muscle soreness after exercise."

This the link to the Stanford Soccer Guide: https://froeberg.com/soccerunited/stanfordfitness.pdf
This training plan is also based on the link above; it is called Stanford Soccer Home of Champions Fitness.
This is also for my son; he is nine, and he is very basic, like he can shoot but it sometimes goes way wide, and he can rarely dribble around people at his school but he can move around them. He is very quick. He also has no crossing ability except for a lucky hit, etc.

My family has always been of great minds. I hated it. Growing up and having to study day and night to try and live up to them was extremely exhausting when I couldn't care how things worked as long as I was happy. I gave up but somehow everything kept turning out to be true.
Over my lifetime I have become the Gorden Ramsey of the science world. Known for my temper and also for huge things like curing world hunger using play-doe and cancer with baby powder I got in a back street ally while drunk.
To get my family off my back I started making random ideas so they could see me as a failure and leave me alone but...they keep working. And soon people started to praise me. Fame has left me with nothing but more and more attention. So today I plan to make sure that everyone can just think I'm insane and leave me alone and not some king.
I chuckled like a kid who was opening a Christmas present as I heard the crowd of people chatting and talking loudly as I hid behind my stage in a grey tight suit that my sister had picked out. I sighed and was ready to walk out and make a fool out of myself but my brother stopped me.
" Jack... I just want you to know how proud I am of you. Dad would have loved to see you right now. "
I thought it was ironic because last night while chilling on the couch watching TV and eating chips I made this theory up. He dusted off my shoulders held them tight and looked me in the eyes taking in the moment.
" go give them hell man. "
He had a goofy smile just like Dad but spoke with confidence.
" you got it, man. "
I heard my name being called onto the stage and the uproar startled me for a second but I collected myself and headed out after giving him a nod just to entertain him.
The lights were blinding as I grabbed the mic and looked at the table in front of me with a small box with the ingredients I needed and a chalkboard behind me.
After I stood still for a minute the crowd died down. I had not told anyone what I was presenting so the whole world was watching without a clue of what I was doing this time.
"Hello everyone. Today I believe I have my most important presentation yet..."
The crowd grew silent and hung on every word. And I heard my voice around the room through the speakers.
" Today I have with me a box...and inside is spaghetti I had for breakfast. "
The crowd laughed thinking it was a joke
" shut up "
The crowd grew silent once more
"Behind me is a chalkboard and I will now present my new findings to all of you...I have found out how to make portals to other worlds. "
A man in the far back of the audience yelled bullshit in a heavy Indian accent but he was so far it was a faint sound for me. I smiled at that thinking I had finally found something that would make me lose my title and I could go ahead and live a life without people making me feel like an evil man for not helping others.
I opened the box got a handful of the noodles and threw them at the chalkboard. I then grabbed a paper towel on standby to clean myself.
The noodles hit the board and slowly moved and rested on a spot on the board. I made eye contact with my brother backstage and he had a look on his face showing he believed in me.
I spun the board dropping the noodles to the ground I then grabbed the chalk and drew around the sauce and noodles that stuck to the board then drew my attention to the others that had fallen on the floor and drew an outline of that.
After it finished I threw the chalk in the crowd violently hitting an old lady in the face.
" Quickly I want a show of hands who thinks I'm a crazy guy "
Everyone raised their hands and I laughed to myself
I then went behind the board and laid it horizontally. I grabbed a small knife in my pocket and poked my finger with it. The crimson blood fell and hit the chalk and then as more and more blood hit the chalk it started glowing.
" you have got to be joking. "
I said out loud as it started to spark an orange glow and it slowly grew color to the rest of the chalk in orange sparks.
Once the symbol was fully sparking with orange the sauce began to swell and move around in a counterclockwise manner. I stepped away from it in shock as small parts of the blood in my finger began to float to the parts where it fell on the floor I drew my outlines on and started sparking those as well.
It started to smoke and hiss as if lightning could whisper and the orange began to take shape and the sauce made a doorway. The parts that were not on the board began to grow ice around them and started to make designs on the floor circling me and the board. Suddenly it grew in size and a large booming voice was heard through the portal as I felt panic of people start to set in.
A huge claw came out and scrapped the sides of my table trying to crawl out from the world it had been trapped in. Cold winds hit me as they cut my skin and threw around my clothes. As I saw the table was now melting from its touch.
A slimy green claw with mucus like a face-hugger egg from the movie Alien carved through the floor and pulled the rest of its body out slowly. A beast stood at 12 feet tall adjusting to our world as goop grew and shaped its body as people screamed, ran, and stood frozen in fear.
As it looked around it locked its spider-like eyes and swerled around coming out from the portal and twisting and turning around the body as it made its way to its head finding a place to rest. It then locked its eyes with me and its jaw twisted slowly from an ant-like maw to mine and slowly shrunk and it soon took the shape of me and knelt on the floor and spoke to me.
" master. "
I stood in shock as everyone seemed to calm down and watched to see what I would do.
"...umm "My family has always been of great minds. I hated it. Growing up and having to study day and night to try and live up to them was extremely exhausting when I couldn't care how things worked as long as I was happy. I gave up but somehow everything kept turning out to be true.
Over my lifetime I have become the Gorden Ramsey of the science world. Known for my temper and also for huge things like curing world hunger using play-doe and cancer with baby powder I got in a back street ally while drunk.
To get my family off my back I started making random ideas so they could see me as a failure and leave me alone but...they keep working. And soon people started to praise me. Fame has left me with nothing but more and more attention. So today I plan to make sure that everyone can just think I'm insane and leave me alone and not some king.
I chuckled like a kid who was opening a Christmas present as I heard the crowd of people chatting and talking loudly as I hid behind my stage in a grey tight suit that my sister had picked out. I sighed and was ready to walk out and make a fool out of myself but my brother stopped me.
" Jack... I just want you to know how proud I am of you. Dad would have loved to see you right now. "
I thought it was ironic because last night while chilling on the couch watching TV and eating chips I made this theory up. He dusted off my shoulders held them tight and looked me in the eyes taking in the moment.
" go give them hell man. "
He had a goofy smile just like Dad but spoke with confidence.
" you got it, man. "
I heard my name being called onto the stage and the uproar startled me for a second but I collected myself and headed out after giving him a nod just to entertain him.
The lights were blinding as I grabbed the mic and looked at the table in front of me with a small box with the ingredients I needed and a chalkboard behind me.
After I stood still for a minute the crowd died down. I had not told anyone what I was presenting so the whole world was watching without a clue of what I was doing this time.
"Hello everyone. Today I believe I have my most important presentation yet..."
The crowd grew silent and hung on every word. And I heard my voice around the room through the speakers.
" Today I have with me a box...and inside is spaghetti I had breakfast. "
The crowd laughed thinking it was a joke
" shut up "
The crowd grew silent once more
"Behind me is a chalkboard and I will now present my new findings to all of you...I have found out how to make portals to other worlds. "
A man in the far back of the audience yelled bullshit in a heavy Indian accent but he was so far it was a faint sound for me. I smiled at that thinking I had finally found something that would make me lose my title and I could go ahead and live a life without people making me feel like an evil man for not helping others.
I opened the box got a handful of the noodles and threw them at the chalkboard. I then grabbed a paper towel on standby to clean myself.
The noodles hit the board and slowly moved and rested on a spot on the board. I made eye contact with my brother backstage and he had a look on his face showing he believed in me.
I spun the board dropping the noodles to the ground I then grabbed the chalk and drew around the sauce and noodles that stuck to the board then drew my attention to the others that had fallen on the floor and drew an outline of that.
After it finished I threw the chalk in the crowd violently hitting an old lady in the face.
" Quickly I want a show of hands who thinks I'm a crazy guy "
Everyone raised their hands and I laughed to myself
I then went behind the board and laid it horizontally. I grabbed a small knife in my pocket and poked my finger with it. The crimson blood fell and hit the chalk and then as more and more blood hit the chalk it started glowing.
" you have got to be joking. "
I said out loud as it started to spark an orange glow and it slowly grew color to the rest of the chalk in orange sparks.
Once the symbol was fully sparking with orange the sauce began to swell and move around in a counterclockwise manner. I stepped away from it in shock as small parts of the blood in my finger began to float to the parts where it fell on the floor I drew my outlines on and started sparking those as well.
It started to smoke and hiss as if lightning could whisper and the orange began to take shape and the sauce made a doorway. The parts that were not on the board began to grow ice around them and started to make designs on the floor circling me and the board. Suddenly it grew in size and a large booming voice was heard through the portal as I felt panic of people start to set in.
A huge claw came out and scrapped the sides of my table trying to crawl out from the world it had been trapped in. Cold winds hit me as they cut my skin and threw around my clothes. As I saw the table was now melting from its touch.
A slimy green claw with mucus like a face-hugger egg from the movie Alien carved through the floor and pulled the rest of its body out slowly. A beast stood at 12 feet tall adjusting to our world as goop grew and shaped its body as people screamed, ran, and stood frozen in fear.
As it looked around it locked its spider-like eyes and swerled around coming out from the portal and twisting and turning around the body as it made its way to its head finding a place to rest. It then locked its eyes with me and its jaw twisted slowly from an ant-like maw to mine and slowly shrunk and it soon took the shape of me and knelt on the floor and spoke to me.
" master. "
I stood in shock as everyone seemed to calm down and watched to see what I would do.

"...umm "

Part two of the noodle demon.
Now that this creature knelt before me I realized that the room I was in was so terrible quietly you could hear everyone's ass get tight in anticipation of what would happen next.
" ...what...are you. "
I spoke carefully to the being that had taken the shape of myself. It still took my breath away and my throat was dry.
The beast was a deep green. The color mixed with shades of grey streaming from it. The longer I looked at it I could see it getting closer to what I looked like shaping itself.
From small flowing green tendrils to an arm they grew as they twisted and made bone then muscle and finally skin.
It locked eyes with me and it smiled deeply at me. As it formed the face finally.
" Your vassle. "
My eyes had not moved to the crowd at all but even though the lights hit the stage so hard it was enveloped in smoke.
The creature's eyes glowed as it answered brightly, not figuratively. This thing's eyes were glowing.
"To serve you, We are bound by blood magic. I am a reflection of your desires, Master, " it said, its voice now a whisper in my mind.
It began to stand up as my grey suit began to form on it and by the time it stood fully up it had copied what I looked like.
" let me explain everything. "
My body frozen in fear woke up with adrenaline as I blinked and a flash of green smoke covered my vision as he teleported right to me face to face.
Its body turned to smoke and went into the slits of my eyes. I felt visions follow me in my peripheral vision but surprisingly no pain followed power filled me and it felt like one hell of a drug.
My body and mind altered.
I was now in a very dark place with no walls or light except my reflection on the floor which waved like water.
I took a step back looking around and back to the reflection of me on the ground.
Soon the water rippled and my reflection fell through the floor like gravity was inverted. he flew upright and water fell off of him as he looked at me as he now stood straight ahead of me. He was just reflecting in the water but now eyed me down.
Collecting my nerves.
I begin to speak.
" what do you want..."
He was still in my form and stood perfectly straight. Now with water dripping from his...my hair.
Slight stubble with hair that hung down and my hazel eyes were not present within him but I was greeted with a swelling acidic green that doubled the size of my pupil.
" to serve you. "
He made no other movement than putting his hands behind his back like a soldier at ease.
I could not tell if it was lying or not.
" ...is that it? "
" I am the embodiment of your fear desires and brilliance. You have shaped me. Your desire for solitude birthed me. I will aid you in shaping the world how you see fit. Your reality becomes mine. "
There was a slight echo in the room as he spoke.
" wait...where are we "
I questioned haphazardly
" your mind. "
An awkward silence was in the air until I spoke
" so...am I just standing on the stage not making a sound? "
He gave me a concerned look.
" no...time has frozen outside for you. You may sleep here without having to in the real world so to others you look as if you never rest and you may think and plan what to do in battle here. For them, it will be about two seconds...Do...do you not have any knowledge of what I am? "
Suddenly I felt bad like I had encountered someone famous and I had no idea who they were. A slap in the face like a popular kid meeting someone who had never heard of them. Ego shattered.
" ok sorry no. I...don't go around reading about...monsters?"
I felt like was I saying the n-word of the demon realm not knowing if that word was offensive.
He folded his arms a little upset.
"Are you not a warrior? "
" well...no I...just watch TV and cook here and there- "
The demon cut me off
" weak. "
" excuse me? "
" look. I am an immortal being and after a while you get bored. So I'm sorry if I may be a little upset after being bonded with some nobody. "
I got quiet and I was a little annoyed that I was being roasted by some demon that I just met.
Its form wavers and eyes begin to open on its skin. Cheeks forhead etc.
"After being a god for so long it's fun to play with limitations. Makes things extremely exciting. "
" what do you mean by that? "
" look. You can only be so entertained by the same things. Life gets boring and now...you are going to help me with this. I get to have pure entertainment while you get every wish you could ever want. A mutual bond no? "
He then closed his eyes annoyed and the other eyes meshed back to his skin.
" though... the TV is not that interesting...life is what gets the blood pumping"
I felt the need to quickly change the topic
"Are there others like you? "
The room began to take shape very slowly as the water floor turned to wood and walls went around us.
" of course. You may meet them one day "
Confused and curious I pressed.
"Meet them? "
" yes. Summoning one of us is considered a threat to them. "
He spoke while opening and closing his newly found hand except backward.
" hm...no that don't look right "
I quickly responded
" Wait! How is doing that a threat! "
"Well, one doesn't just accidentally Summon one of us to suddenly get powers beyond human control. "
I thought back to how I summoned him by accident with some food I made.
" well...funny story but I summoned you using my breakfast..."
I had never regretted speaking so much as in that moment.
" What... "
Acid dripped from his words. Literally. His pupils split in half and his bottom jaw ripped open like an ant and curved giving sharpness to the bone.
"Please don't kill me. "
The room began to look like a cozy cabin with a fireplace and he slowly went back to normal.
" I would if I could. I've never felt so disrespected. We are bonded by your blood. If you die...I die. "
Suddenly I felt at ease by this new information.
Then a thought came to my mind
" ...God's can die? "
" you did hear me, right? "
The SAS from this guy was unneeded and I was starting to miss him being on his knees as weird as that sounds.
" so...all that power gone.... in an instant... "
" well...no actually God's powers don't just disappear they transfer to whoever killed them...wait...hold up."
He suddenly had an epiphany.
A smile grew on his face and he grabbed my shoulders
" you! You are going to help me kill the other gods! "
He sounded proud but I let him down.
" ha! No. "
" oh come on! Don't be like that. "
He did a pout.
"Look, man. I'm not killing gods for you. Just because you are bored. "
" hey...they might send people to kill you because you bonded with me. "
"What did I ever do to them? "
"They have a system to this stuff. They like to build and watch things play out. You're a problem. That can mess it up. So...they kill ya...to be honest, I don't know any other way to explain it, man. You know people normally just use my power to kill people and become a king and know this already. "
"This is outrageous. "
" bro. Look if you do this I will be able to get their powers and you will be able to do so much more than what I offer "
I tilted my head
" what can you do? Know what never mind. I will just talk to them and figure things out. "
He groaned and his form melted down sagging and it shot back up reforming
"Is there not anything that you want? Anything in the world? Gods don't put themselves in physical forms. They give people power and can make beings to hunt you. And if they care enough to come down themself. Ha, good luck."
I stopped and thought about it trying to weigh the options of pissing off higher beings.
Suddenly. I found something.
"Can you bring back the dead..."
He stopped confused.
" well...no "
" then I don't want anything "
" wait! "
He threw his arms out pleading
"I don't...but another God does..."
He crosses his arms smiling. He had left the question hanging letting me reconsider his offer.
I stopped and thought for a while before looking back up to him.
I let out a sigh and looked him in the eyes
" ok...you are going to help me get my father back. "
The demon smirked.

To answer the commonly asked question once and for all, I have done a deepdive and summarized the findings of all relevant research I could find.
I've established a benchmark for what level of sub concussive head impacts can be tolerated and for how long without developing CTE to compare with Judo.
It's crucial to recognize that while concussive impacts are associated with clinical signs and symptoms, sub‐concussive impacts are defined as occurring below this range and do not result in clinically‐diagnosed concussions. However, studies have proposed that an accumulation of these low‐level repetitive impacts does compromise the brain over time and may result in CTE later in life. (Source 1,2,3)
CTE (chronic traumatic encephalopathy) is the neurodegenerative disease that may be defined by symptoms of dementia, memory loss, and emotional instability. It's famously observed in American football and other athletes of full contact sports. (Source 1)
The two measures I will quote for head impact are G force for linear acceleration and rad/s2 for rotational acceleration. Rotational acceleration is believed by many to be a primary mechanism for diffuse brain injury, which is seen in CTE. Rotational acceleration is more dangerous than linear acceleration because it creates greater tension on bridging veins and brain (Source 3, 12)
Benchmark from American football study (source 2)
In all cases, the average head impact was ~1500 rad/ s2 and 19 G. What differentiated the players without CTE from the ones with CTE wasn't the magnitude of the head impacts but rather the accumulation of these sub concussive impacts.
Players without CTE = 4500 hits over 10 years with 6.57 M rad/s2 and 87k G accumulated to the head
Players with low stage CTE = 5500 hits over 12 years with 8.32 M rad/s2 and 107k G accumulated to the head
Players with high stage CTE = 7600 hits over 15 years with 12.26 M rad/s2 and 150k G accumulated to the head
Another study suggests that 1230 rad/s2 is to be used as the lower threshold for low severity injury, but does recognise that a definitive threshold separating impacts causing injury from impacts resulting in no injury is currently not known. (Source 1)
Now that we have these benchmarks, let's look at the Judo research to understand how much impact the brain sustains from being thrown on the ground with perfect ukemi (break fall).
First study (source 4)
Performed by two judo black belts with Tori doing Osoto Gari and Uke performing ukemi (break fall) on tatami with a forehead sensor.
Second study (source 5)
14 black and brown belt practitioners with forehead sensors performing ukemi on 6 different throws. (tomoe-nage, tai-otoshi, harai-tsuri-komi-ashi, seoi-nage, deashi-braai, uchi mata), and only impacts over 16G was captured with their measurement equipment.
Results
10% of 70 Uchi mata throws resulted in an impact over 16G. These inpacts have an avg of 28 G impact on the head and 3940 rad/s2. Uchi mata had the highest incidence of sub-concussive head accelerations.
Osoto gari had linear force: between 8.7 - 11.9 G, median 10.3 G Rotational force: between 506 - 852 rad/s2, median 679 rad/s2
The other five throws in the study had a very low incidence rate of exceeding the 16G threhold, at around 1% of the throws. When they did exceed the threhold, the results were 21-28 G and 1600-2800 rad/s2
Conclusion
Given the chosen threhold of 1230 rad/s2, which has been suggested as the lower limit for diffuse brain injury. It appears that for most of the time, Judo is safe when Ukemi (break fall) is applied correctly. Uchi mata had the highest risk of exceeding the threshold and would be dangerous in about 10% of the time, despite proper Ukemi. Osoto gari is often close to the threshold at 852 rad/s2.
However, there is currently no definitive threshold for impacts causing diffuse injury to the brain. It should be noted that Judo is often on the border to dangerous when throws are executed with high power. (Source 1)
Thought experiment
Each club and practitioner's training patterns and Ukemi skill may vary, but if we were to assume that you take a hard fall (exceeding the safe threshold of 1230 rad/s2) in 10% of the larger hip throws, as shown in source 5. Then, you might sustain 3 hard falls per training. Given 3 training sessions per week, 40 weeks per year, you will accumulate 360 hard falls per year (3×3×40). This means that after 12 years of practice, you will have endured 4500 hard hits. This is the same as an American football player without CTE. But if you were to continue at this pace for an additional 3 years (total 15 years), you will have accumulated 5500 hard hits. This is the same as a player with low stage CTE. After a total of 21 years of Judo, you would then have developed high stage CTE (7600 hits).
Now, if this calculation assumes only 1 hard hit per session, the outcome would be enormously different. It would then take 45 years of Judo before you risk developing low stage CTE.
This thought experiment highlights the importance of limiting your number of hard landings per training as much as possible. Note that these hard landings occur despite proper Ukemi in blackbelts, according to the cited studies. It means that you need to be careful with the intensity of Randori you tolerate from your partner and maximize the use of crash pads during static training. It's also advisable to avoid training with larger partners (>18 kg/ 40 pounds heavier than you), if possible. (Source 4,5,6)
If you are comparing judo to other forms of martial arts it should be noted that although judo carries risks it is much lower than for example MMA sparring where the average linear acceleration in head impacts are 38 G and the average rotational acceration is 2567 rad/s2 per hit. This means that the average hit in MMA is dangerous high above the safe threshold. (Source 7)
Additional conclusions from the cited studies to help minimize risk in Judo:
Novice vs experienced judokas
It's important to also make note that novice judokas experience much higher impacts compared to blacks belts. This is due to their lower proficiency in Ukemi (break fall) Just to mention a few things, the experienced judokas have greater knee exten­sion when falling backwards and their motion is greater in the extended position when the hand contact the mat and at the end of the motion. Novice judoka tends to flex the knee more than experienced judokas. Greater knee extension during the backward fall helps to control the velocity of backward falls better. Experienced judokas roll more on the back while landing and immediately lift the hands after slapping the ground to not impede the rolling motion. The timing of the ground slap is of importance.
Novices often hit their head on the tatami mat because of their delayed response to throwing techniques and their inability to instantly contract their neck muscles to perform a backward breakfall. Therefore, to reduce the risk of head injury in judo, it is desirable to actively introduce training in which an athlete is pushed by another person and the athlete instantly performs a backward breakfall. (source 6, 9, 10, 11)
Fatigue and Ukemi effectiveness
Ukemi (break fall) effectiveness is significantly affected by fatigue following high intensity exercise. To stay safe, it's recommended to rest properly between your set of throws or Randori rounds to let your heart rate come down before engaging again. (source 8)
Expected vs. unexpected throws
Additionally, it is shown that anticipating the impact improves the effectiveness of Ukemi and helps lower the impact forces to the brain. This is why being surprised by a throw in, for example Randori, carries much higher risk than static training, especially for novice practitioners. Therefore, it is necessary to develop backward breakfall training that incorporates unexpected conditions, while considering safety (Source 3,6)
Weight difference
Higher body weight of the thrower than that of the person being thrown is a factor in the occurrence of head injuries, with the risk of head injury increasing when the thrower is ≥ 18 kg heavier than the person being thrown. These findings suggest that practice with such a weight difference between judo practitioners should be avoided (source 6)
Undermat
The use of an under-mat did not prove to be adequate in reducing head impact. Although it lowered the linear acceration of the head, it did not impact the rotational acceleration, which has more severe outcomes (source 10)
Neck strength
No correlation was found between cervical (neck), muscle strength (anterior flexion), and head rotational acceleration. Although it is important to have at least average neck strength, improving neck strength further is not the simple solution to reducing impact on the head and neck. Instead, mastering optimal Ukemi technique to be able to disperse energy more through better movement patterns is a more viable solution. (Source 6, 10)
The most dangerous judo throw (immediate danger, not in terms of long term CTE risk)
From 1983 to 2011, 118 fatalities were reported in junior high and high schools in Japan. It was pointed out that being thrown by “osoto-gari” was the major cause of fatalities (18 cases, 25%). In an experiment involving adolescents who were not judo specialists, the risk of head injury was higher when the “osoto-gari” or “ouchi-gari” throwing technique was used than when the “ippon-seoi-nage” or “tai-otoshi” throwing technique was used.
The reason for this has been suggested to be that novice judokas were likely to take a more flexed upper body posture than the experienced judokas, especially from the middle to late phase of the osoto gari break fall. The flexed posture may lead to greater velocity due to the smaller contact of the arms made to the ground in that posture. Therefore, maintaining a straight posture during the breakfall motion may lead to a reduced risk of head injuries associated with osoto-gari. (Source 6, 13)
Sources can all be found by searching the following names on google:

1. Angular Acceleration Responses of American Football, Lacrosse and Ice Hockey Helmets Subject to Low‐Energy Impacts
   
2. Leveraging football accelerometer data to quantify associations between repetitive head impacts and chronic traumatic encephalopathy in males
   
3. Rotational Head Kinematics in Football Impacts: An Injury Risk Function for Concussion
   
4. Ukemi technique prevents the elevation of head acceleration of a person thrown by the judo technique 'Osoto-gari'
   
5. Florentin, T. and Henry, S. O. (2017) "HEAD ACCELERATIONS OF SIX TYPICAL JUDO THROWS AND BREAK FALL TECHNIQUES
   
6. Effects of unexpectedness on the risk of head injuries in judo novices and experts
   
7. Concussion and the Severity of Head Impacts in Mixed Martial Arts
   
8. Influence of fatigue on head angular acceleration in judo high-intensity exercise
   
9. Biomechanics of judo backward breakfall for different throwing techniques in novice judokas
   
10. A Systematic Review on the Biomechanics of Breakfall Technique (Ukemi) in Relation to Injury in Judo within the Adult Judoka Population
    
11. Biomechanics of the judo backward breakfall: comparison between experienced and novice judokas
    
12. Biomechanical Analysis of Judo-Related Head Injuries: A Pilot Study over Ages and Experience Levels
    
13. TRUNK BIOMECHANICS DURING BREAKFALL FOR OSOTO-GARI AND ITS ASSOCIATION WITH JUDO-RELATED HEAD INJURY RISK IN NOVICE JUDOKAS
    

I (30f) have been experiencing a very mild ache that comes and goes in my right leg for several months. The pain initially stopped for about a month, but has recently returned. While it's not constant, the ache is more annoying than painful. Over the past few months, the pain has shifted around my foot, ankle, and leg below the knee, never staying in the same place at the same time.
I've already seen multiple doctors and invested several hundred dollars on tests, but despite these efforts, the cause of the pain remains unclear. Some notable findings include:

• Occasional swelling in my leg, but no signs of blood clots
• No signs of heart problems or kidney problems
• A healthy BMI
• Healthy blood pressure
• GP doesn't believe it is related to anything life-threatening
• No evidence of bone tumors or fractures in the ankle or foot areas
• No muscle or ligament tears
• Flexibility a little limited due to WFH job
• Pain bettestops when standing or walking

The current pain is mostly located in my shin, but occasionally radiates to my calf, knee, or thigh. It may be worth noting that I had a fall two years ago and hit my shin, resulting in some stiffness and a large bruise the size of my fist.
Given my symptoms, I'm wondering if it could be related to a pinched nerve. I'm looking for any possible explanations or potential causes for this persistent pain. Unfortunately, I'm not financially able to continue visiting doctors without any clear answers.
Thank you for your insight.

I (F19 59kg 168cm) have been experiencing quite a few symptoms in the span of a couple months. I had asthma when I was younger and and for now blood tests showing mild hypothyroidism. My symptoms are such as dizziness, frequent urinating, flashing white/black lines in my vision, dry cough along with it hurting, clumsiness, occasional sharp chest pains, difficulty swallowing and dry mouth/nose. (I do drink enough water.) These all mostly occur daily. I've also been experiencing shortness of breath for a couple years now, especially when exercising/walking/standing. Sometimes the area around my lungs/ribcage is painful, especially the right side. I have to take deep breaths (sometimes with my mouth) around every 6th breath, because I feel like I don't get enough air. I did see a doctor and they took my lung photo and listened to my lungs, but found nothing wrong, so they decided it's all mental Some other things are crackles, pops and strecth like feelings all over my body. My knees, my chest muscles, my head, my back, my shoulders and my spine. It happens everyday for a couple months now, almost every time I move a specific muscle. It can sometimes be a little painful. I have been physically active, more than usually the couple past months and I do daily stretches/exercises. I wonder why this is happening to me and if I can somehow make it stop? Any help would be appreciated.

I'm tagging this as a discussion and not a rant, because I do want input. I want people to be honest with me. I'm going to low-key rant, but then I want to know how you would feel if it were you - and maybe if you agree with my also chronically ill friend.
I was in a pretty serious car wreck on May 10th. I have some pictures from when I went to see my car finally on Thursday (? I think) and... and honestly, it was worse than I thought it was at first. I had snapped one picture for my mom but I was very, very stunned at the time. Later got diagnosed with a concussion, so that makes sense that I was out of it), and the picture didn't pick up the damage... At all. My entire front console and dashboard separated from the frame of the car. The passenger door can't open. My windshield severely cracked, it's a miracle it didn't shatter all over me. My wheel airbag went off, but the knee airbag malfunctioned (impound lot guy said he sees that a lot with my model car and to report it to the highway safety commission). Parking brake jammed on, hood bent in half, entire front part of the car crushed underneath the car in front of me.
I was EXTREMELY lucky. I cannot stress... How lucky. And this friend who I'm about to bring up agrees with that, because even when I sent the only picture I had, I think they understood more than I did how close it had been. I was transported by ambulance, with concern for a spinal injury as well as abdominal bleeding and minor concern for shoulder injury. Most assuaged, I was released the same day (many hours later), all good. Obviously, extremely in pain and with some anti inflammatories, muscle relaxers, and they gave me Rx lidocaine patches. (On top of my normal pain management meds). They diagnosed whiplash and that was all.
The following week (so last week), I went to my PCP, who ordered a wrist X-ray for severe bruising that had popped up and the pain that never stopped, and he diagnosed a sprain when it came back clear (although that hand keeps going numb, so we'll see). He diagnosed the concussion as well and muscle spasms in my back and shoulders, the one shoulder's acute pain from the seatbelt, gave me a higher dosage muscle relaxer and stronger anti-inflammatory. I mentioned my ribs, again (as I had in the ER), but then played it down. That was my own fault. He mentioned my being out of breath, and again, I played it down.
The very next day I was even more out of breath and I had to go to urgent care to get a drug test for my job (because I had been working at the time of my crash - company policy). While there, I asked if she could glance at my ribs - and she noticed the deep bruising. She ordered an X-ray when I told her the whole thing, because, in her words, she was slightly worried about the possibility of a pneumothorax and wanted to rule it out.
I mentioned this to my friend group discord chat. The very last part - that I was now getting a chest x-ray because of what that doctor said. The friends response was... odd. They seemed to want to be riling me up? Like, immediately began going 'prepare for surgery' etc., almost... egging on the worst case scenario. And I basically went... can you, like, not joke about this? I already have enough going on, I really don't need more anxiety.
And they went, "who said I was joking?" and the some other comment I can't remember. And then said "In my opinion you seem to thrive on the negative medical things that happen in a way."
So yeah. I'm usually extremely calm. But I very coldly went "What the fuck does that mean?"
They told me I SEEK OUT medically complex things to worry about and hyperfixate on. Then said that I had "rampant hypochondria."
...huh??? I'm sorry, what? This is all coming from someone who ALSO has complex health. I so don't get it. This person basically said, oh, I'm saying this for your own good, because I was a hypochondriac too, etc etc. and basically... I was like I have no clue what the fuck you're talking about. Because I don't go do research and look for anything at all. Anything and everything I updated my friends on is told to me by my doctor's as either the next step, a possibility, like an ACTUAL likely possibility that we are actively exploring as a team together focused on my health; or it's HAPPENING. And my feelings on that might be anxious because I don't know what comes next, because we don't have answers. But being anxious about something that is actually REALISTIC and being actively explored and presented by DOCTORS as a possibility is not hypochondria.
This friend then tried to fight me on that definition, which is just .. absolutely wild. Because again, hypochondria is undue and abnormal health anxiety. I dare anyone with my health to not be anxious about it. 😂 I literally get compliments and comments from the people in my daily life about how they cannot imagine how I'm doing it. And that's after they see ONE episode. And some of that is coming from people who ARE HEALTHCARE WORKERS, literally!!!
I'm just... I'm still so wildly stunned. I'm so caught off guard. I'm hurt. I'm angry. I'm betrayed. This person is the LAST one I thought it would come from.
I make it a POINT to never compare. Whenever others try, they say 'oh, but I shouldn't complain XYZ," I am SO quick to correct that. We don't play that game, here. Not in my house, not in my bubble, not in my circle of love and support and friendships. But this friend also said in this whole thing that they're uncomfortable talking about their health issues because of... Me talking about mine??? And I basically said a much longer version of that ^, but then added, y'know, I'm sorry you feel uncomfortable but at the end of the day, you can't put that on me or anyone else. It's really ableist to be thinking like that. Everyone is different and me sharing updates with y'all because you've told me you want to hear them and you love me just like I want to hear yours and love you all , has nothing to do with your ability to share your stuff too? And if that's an obstacle for you that's something you need to work on, not take out on me.
There's so much more. I'm just going to stop there. I'm angry. I'm hurt. I'm sick to my stomach. Of all the people in that server, a server I have been in for... I mean, over 5 years, now, I want to say? My second family? What was supposed to be. What claimed to be. Of all of them, one person stood up for me. And maybe because only one was online. But no one else except one of the teens has reached out, and of course I let him know I was alright and wished him luck, gave him my email for if he ever needed something. (It was very sweet that he checked in, I really only responded because I didn't want him to worry.) But I won't maintain a 1-1 conversation with a minor. Especially as a teacher, that's highly inappropriate - my typical rule is I won't even converse with minors 1-1 on the internet, I just won't. This server has many minors who stick together and a few educators who look out for them, so I know they're safe and all. Everyone there takes safety very seriously at least.
I'm just... Ridiculously disappointed. More than disappointed. I don't know if I can trust people again, honestly. I've worked really hard to open up. It took me... years, after a lifetime of trauma and being guilted for having human needs, much less adding in disability and extra things. I don't see it happening again.