Hi so I’m not sure where to start I am 18 and in my last year of Highschool. I have been talking to a guy, let’s call him Thomas also 18, since last August. We started texting every day, hours at a time, I personally thought that we got very close since we shared quite a lot of personal stuff from family dynamics to our deepest thoughts. Because a big part of this time was during our prelim and exam phase we didn’t see each other in person. In the start of November he suddenly stopped texting and I didn’t hear anything from him anymore. I was actually really worried that something happens since he was on a farm during that time. Turns out he just ignored me that stung. I am a person that does everything very head on so I absolutely confronted him end of November after exams and right before the holidays. He looked and me like he wasn’t sure what to say and answered with I’m so sorry my mama didn’t raise me like this I’m so sorry but it’s some personal reasons. Personally I thought that that’s a stupid response but fair enough. During the holidays I visited a friend overseas. We had fun going to parties having fun with guys, some of her friends, spend doing fun stuff like skiing and spending time together she really helped me get over Thomas. So fast forward to march. A friend invited me to her birthday and we somehow got on the topic of crushes/ boyfriends. We are 6 girls and since we all are in about the same classes we knew each other quite well. Let’s cal one of the girls Mary, Mary was right before the birthday party on a date with a friend of mine let’s call him Matt. Matt just joined us during this school year and I kinda included in my friend group( 4 guys plus me) and since he was a nerd and most of my friends where it fit amazing. I talked a lot with Matt and we got close but just as friends. So Mary tells the whole table that she knows who my crush is. I thought she is talking about Thomas and was like was I that obvious. She responded with is it Matt. I answer with a hell no. She is taken aback and no everyone is looking at me like who is it. Since I still have a crush on Thomas even after last year I say well it’s Thomas. Immediately everyone is like aww you would be such a sweet couple and are you talking. I share the general details as in this post and with that I thought it was done. Nope. Mary’s best friend Theresa even pushed me to start talking to him again as well as Mary throughout the whole evening. This was on a Friday, that same weekend I get absolutely drunk and drunk call Thomas. He picks up “hi are you ok I’m at a family dinner is everything ok or can I call you back later” me even surprised that he picked up explained him that I was drunk and that I’m so sorry. He’s absolutely fine with it and since then we have been texting every day and again for hours. So during the time from march till now every time i got close to Matt ( just as friend) Mary has been asking me how things with Thomas are if I’ve been texting with him telling me that I should just go with him for coffee, you get the point. Fast forward to yesterday. Another friend at that parity let’s call her Daphne came to me and asked me what i knew about Theresa. I was like “ nothing why” turns out that Theresa has been texting Thomas since start of January, meanwhile telling me to be brave and put myself out there. Daphne told me because she was close friends with Theresa till on Monday when Daphne texted Thomas( as friends) and Theresa saw the name and took the phone out of her hands. Apparently there was a whole argument between them and Daphne realised what had happened and what Theresa did. Daphne when to me and spilled the beans. There is a little bit more drama involving Thomas Theresa me and another girl regarding prom but that is less important. I’m sorry it got so long. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I feel like I’m in a game of cat and mouse, and I’m the mouse. I was completely shocked when I found out and can’t honestly wrap my head around. I hope someone has advice for me who I should confront or what I should do in general.

The main events take place in the summer of 2023, but before that there’s some pretty crucial information you need to know.
Many moons ago, three or four years before I was forced to live with the burden of knowing my dear friend, some shit went down.
Sophomore year of high school, Heather and my now boyfriend Tony were besties with another girl, that I will call Jane (the sweetest person I’ve ever met, by the way). At some point, Jane and her boyfriend went on a break, and Heather decided, for some reason to this day unknown, to try and sext her best friend’s ex boyfriend. I say “try” because he never really indulged her, which made the whole situation all the more embarrassing. Heather, however, lacking self-awareness and critical thinking skills, decided to keep this up for over five months, after which Jane and her ex got back together, and he told her everything. Contrary to Heather, Jane decided to be a good friend and wait for Heather to come clean about her actions without revealing she already knew everything.
And so she waited. But Heather never said anything.
Keep this in mind, it’ll be important later.
Fast forward to February 2022, yours truly is introduced on the scene by becoming Heather’s roommate during our first year of college. Surprisingly we got along pretty well, we became really close friends in a very short time. She was also the extroverted one (also important) of the two and really helped me come out of my shell, so for a while I was really grateful to her. Anyway, throughout the three months we lived together she was constantly talking about her friends Tony and Jane from back home, but especially referring to Jane as her best friend, the only one that really knew her and that she really trusted.
Her friend Tony was also a very popular topic in conversations, and the reason she convinced me to visit her home country that summer, which resulted in us dating but I will spare you the details of that because it’s a different story (although a good one too).
The summer ends. She moves back to her country, I go back to mine, now pursuing two long distance relationships, the one with my boyfriend and the one with my only friend. So, in January 2023 plan a trip there with Tony but I decide not to tell Heather, and to let it be a surprise instead.
This is where the thing I told you to remember comes back for the first time, and I get front row seats for this years-long conflict finally unraveling.
Jane decided she had enough of waiting for her friend to become decent and slowly started growing apart from Heather, who had actually started the fight by accusing Jane of ignoring her.
When asked about the reasons for her behavior, some of Heather’s responses were, and I kid you not, “BRO I HAD A PLAN” and “IT’S LITERALLY NOT MY PROUDEST MOMENT”.
So. Yeah. Needless to say, they stopped being friends.
Now, for some reason, Heather decided to start this fight on the groupchat with my boyfriend, which meant I had access to everything, and after learning about everything I started to question my friend’s actions for the first time. Like, yes I knew she was a bit stubborn, and annoying, but who isn’t. Betraying someone you have talked about multiple times as your best friend and then lying about it for years, however?
But I decided to put my worries aside for the moment and just be more careful around her before I actually formed an opinion. I also had never met Jane before so at that point it probably wouldn’t have been my place to intervene.
During my trip, I get the idea to plan a surprise party for Tony in the summer and I share it with Heather who seems on board and ready to help.
That aside, the rest of my visit was pretty uneventful up until my last day there.
It being my last day, I wanted to spend it with all my friends, so me, Tony, and Heather met up at a mall to hang out. After a while, I noticed Heather looking pretty down so I asked her if she was alright. She told me she was feeling a bit worried because she got the impression that Tony was growing more distant from her. She revealed to me that this actually already happened before, during Tony’s last relationship, and she was scared it was going to happen again. “And I’m so sorry for involving you like this but do you think you could talk to him for me?”
Now, you have to know Tony and her were never the best of friends; he’s always been closer to Jane than he was with her, simply because they don’t have many things in common. Heather also had the habit of constantly bringing up his ex in my presence, by making weird comparisons with me about literally anything. “Oh, you’re dyeing your hair red? Tony’s ex also dyed her hair red for a while. Omg your eyeliner is so good, you know Tony’s ex actually—”
No. I do, in fact, not know and I would like to keep it that way.
So when she mentioned his ex, being the idiot that I am, I felt so bad because I somehow assumed it was my fault, that I distracted him from his friends with my psychic evil girlfriend powers and therefore it was my responsibility to fix it.
So in May, I start planning Tony’s birthday party and Heather decided that for some reason it was her job to invite people and plan activities and literally plan the whole fucking party actually. She kept making suggestions I knew he would hate and inviting people he outright said he couldn’t stand, until I had enough and was forced to put my foot down. I let her invite her boyfriend and a friend of hers and handled the rest myself. In the meantime, I contacted Jane. Because unlike Heather, I know my boyfriend well enough to understand who his friends are so I always knew Jane was going to make the list, which I anticipated to Heather back in February. Her response was something along the lines of, “It’s okay for me if it’s okay for her”, which I thought was good enough. After all, I wasn’t expecting them to chat like nothing had happened but I assumed they would both be mature enough to put their differences aside for their friend’s sake.
The day of the party comes and Heather and I get there early to set things up, and when we’re in the bathroom doing our makeup she goes, “Hey, this might be a weird question but did Jane mention if she was bringing anyone?”.
This is where I might have been a bit of a bitch. Because Jane did actually ask me if she could bring her boyfriend, the same guy from the story that keeps coming back, and she even apologized for that, but knowing there were going to be three couples at the party already, including Heather and her own boyfriend, I didn’t even think twice before saying yes. However, I also failed to mention that to Heather until the day of the party.
When she found out, she was gone. Completely lost the plot, would not hear reason. She spent the whole evening sitting on the couch next to her boyfriend, with her back to the rest of the party, ignoring everyone else unless they asked her a question directly or forced her into conversation. After the umpteenth failed attempt of including her I felt so guilty I went to cry in the bathroom thinking I had ruined my boyfriend’s party because Heather was not having fun.
Days later, when all of this turned into a paragraph fight via text, instead of apologizing she kept attacking Tony for being rude to her and not understanding that she is very introverted and has “major anxiety”, and that was the reason why she didn’t even try to celebrate his birthday with him once throughout the night. Something I found hard to believe as I had been in that position before, while she was the one to help me out of it, introducing me to new people. So I am well aware of what it means to feel out of place, which is why I tried my best that night, and I also know that if she really wanted to do more, she would’ve.
During the fight, I finally had the opportunity to really talk to Jane for the first time and finding out about some things Heather did to her while they were friends reminded me of something else she did to me.

Back in November 2022, I got on birth control. Naturally I texted my friend, telling her about it.
Her response was, and I quote: “I have a theory. I’ve noticed a pattern where all of Tony’s girlfriends (ex and you) have started taking birth control since dating him soooo he either forced the girls or the girls don't care about STDs and accidental pregnancies. And the side effects obv.”
So I brought this back up during our fight. She tried to deny and to claim she was simply in “shock” because of my sudden interest in birth control, but I sent her back the proof of how she ignored everything I was trying to tell her only to keep trying to prove her hypotheses. My message said: “I was excited because I had done my research, I found a gyno and I went on my own and I texted you knowing that I couldn't share that excitement with my mother so I thought my friend would understand but instead you just came up with conspiracy theories about Tony forcing his girlfriends to get on BC or his girlfriends not caring about accidental pregnancies which was extremely insulting and I still don't know what your intention was because if you were joking it wasn't funny. I was being really vulnerable and you just basically chastised me. I can understand not agreeing but there's ways and ways to say that, you can still be happy and supportive while disagreeing, which was not what you did at all.”
She apologized but also said “I’m sorry you felt that way”. I decided to leave it at that and forget about it.
A couple of weeks later she angrily texted me wondering why I didn’t wish her a happy birthday.
So, AITA?

TLDR; I have experienced anxiety off and on but its been ramping up over the last few years specifically around traveling and it is really hard to eat food when I’m anxious. I’m feeling debilitated and worried that I will never get better and I’m scared meds wont work. I want to be able to travel and see my friends in other states without being completely consumed by anxiety.
——
I have struggled with anxiety off and on my whole life and as I’m reflecting now, it had a lot to do with not being home/change. I would get homesick at summer camp, I would get anxious before a sleepover, I had anxiety my entire 8th grade year because I was going from a tiny private school to a huge public high school.
When I moved away from home I was fine and I don’t think I had anxiety for several years. I was an adult, figuring out life on my own and doing fine. I would travel to visit my friends in other states and I was fine. I got married, had a bachelorette trip, a honeymoon etc. all good.
During covid I went to test for ADHD and realized I was depressed so I went on wellbutrin which changed everything for me.
In 2021 I went on a trip with a bunch of girls that really fucked me up. Nothing happened but I was so anxious I couldn’t sleep or eat and it affected my friendship. After that I went to see my psychiatrist because I could not go on a trip again and be stuck because I didn’t have any medication to stop it. Most times after that trip that I went on a trip, I got unexplainable anxiety. Came out of nowhere, couldn’t tie it to a thought, hurt my stomach etc. But I had hydroxyzine which helped me fall asleep without anxiety. I decided to reduce my wellbutrin in half because of a variety of reasons, one of them being my heightened anxiety. And it did seem to be a good decision to do that. I went on a trip in 2023 to a state I’ve never been to and my anxiety was pretty bad but my husband was with me so it was mostly manageable but I kept losing my appetite and not wanting to eat. We went to a 6 course dinner and I had to get up in between every plate to run to the bathroom cuz I had anxiety runs.
I came home from that and went to see my psychiatrist and explained my anxiety was mostly a bodily response and I wasn’t noticing anything in my brain. She said meds are really good for the worries but it didn’t sound like I had that so try making sure I had substance in my stomach since maybe I had so much stomach acid it was making me feel sick.
I didn’t have a trip for 7 months to test this theory until this last weekend. The whole week leading up to the trip I would have moments of anxiety but I usually took a deep breath and it went away. The travel day was pretty bad but I kept food in my stomach but I kept noticing myself checking in with myself seeing if I felt okay or not. Constantly. Then it became of fear of getting anxiety and ruining my friends’ time with me. And the anxiety of getting anxiety and feeling unwell not in my comforting space. Every single day was so hard. I could barely bring myself to eat food. I became anxious about mealtimes coming up and if I would be able to nourish myself. I had moments of relief, and one almost full day of no anxiety but I ended up coming home two days early because I couldn’t hang.
But even as I’ve been home, my anxiety hasn’t gone away. I was anxious walking through the mall with my husband. I didn’t want to eat dinner. I think about my next trip coming up and I feel a pit in my stomach wondering if I’ll be able to enjoy myself. Waking up yesterday I felt my heart rate immediately spike and the anxiety start to come on. I talked to my psychiatrist and she asked why I didn’t take the xanax I had with me. I am scared it wont work or will make me feel flat or make be all delirious in my head. I dont want to become reliant on it. She explained it is a tool and would I refuse pain meds if I’m about to have surgery? No. I decided to go off my wellbutrin because I’m curious if that is making me more anxious since my depression is so much better. She said I should give it a week and see how I feel after the wellbutrin is out of my system and giving space to my bad experience on my trip and if I still feel worried about my upcoming trip we can start Zoloft. This morning I’m still anxious, and I’m starving but I can’t think of any food that seems palatable and I don’t want to get out of bed and I feel extremely hopeless that I’ll never get better and wont be able to experience new things again. I’m scared Zoloft wont work or it will eventually hurt me or my anxiety will get worse and I just feel completely debilitated.

I hope you are doing better today than yesterday. (TLDR at the end; or enjoy my story :) )

Why:

About 11 months ago, I launched my app for the first time on lonely because I had previously experienced loneliness myself during grad school. I wanted to reach out to people going through similar experiences by providing them with what would’ve helped me in the past.
I felt this was an important mission for me and a much more rewarding one than my day job that I quit my job to work on the app full-time.
It was necessary because I did not come from a programming background. I knew how to program in the sense of running scientific simulations on MATLAB, but creating the front-end and back-end for a consumer app was totally new to me, so I had to learn from scratch.
I enjoyed everyday going to a cafe to learn from programming crash courses on YouTube, developing the app little by little, and eventually launching the app! The initial response was actually pretty great: 220 upvotes for the app launch post, which I proudly pinned in my bio :)

How:

I made the app to be based on voice, and nothing else: no profiles, no profile photos, and even no texts. The reason for that was I felt a lot of people felt lonely and had trouble finding meaningful online connections because of the modern communication medium which actually promotes superficial and viral contents over authentic and long-form contents. It is easy to see from examples: TikTok’s 30 second videos, Instagram’s eye-popping photos by beautiful people from the globe, and Twitter(X)’s 140-char spicy takes. Sure, these platforms offer us information about DIYs, trends, and news that can enrich our lives and entertain us, but they don’t by all means help us feel more connected to individuals. Even on Reddit, the contents tend to be more wholesome and there are hilarious comments that build on top of each other, but the actual sense of connection you feel with the users is tenuous.
Focusing on voice worked! It was incredible listening to the heartfelt messages from strangers from all over the world who opened up about their loneliness and didn’t mind being vulnerable to other strangers. I have personally spoke with everyone that came by. The 14k minutes of voice messages do not include my own voice messages; they are all messages that people left for their own posts, to each other, or as replies to me.

Highlights:

There were some incredible moments, which would be too long to share in this post (leave a comment if you want to hear more!), but some of the highlights were (note: these are all from public conversations):

• Lady in New Brunswick, Canada was extremely depressed after a difficult divorce and felt being on the life’s edge. She was getting scammed left and right on dating apps and was losing hope. She told me that I was the only one that she felt she could trust and talk to, and she probably wouldn’t be here if I ever stopped talking to her. Thankfully, she eventually managed to find a boyfriend and she thanked me for having always been there for her. She still came back to the app to act as a supporter for other lonely souls for a while!
• Gentleman in New York, USA felt isolated in a farm and felt he had no real connections with anyone. He shared with me and other users about his life growing various vegetables, but stopped coming on the app for a couple of months. When he came back, he was pleasantly surprised by the app’s development, felt I really believed in my mission to help lonely souls, and became an evangelist for my app :) He posted on several forums on Reddit and engaged in conversations with many users on the app.

What was also incredible was that there were not only people experiencing loneliness here, but also people who did not feel lonely but were on the app to support others going through loneliness. They would share stories and studies related to loneliness in their posts, and also try to talk to some lonely folks on the app who seemed very hardened by their experience of loneliness which made them cynical and pessimistic. The concept of compassionate listening by Thich Nhat Hanh and Polyvagal theory that explains 3 levels of our nervous system are a few things they mentioned that come to my mind. Unfortunately, these efforts by supporters were often, so to speak, ineffective in solving people’s loneliness.

What I learned:

And that was part of what made it so hard to have a sustainable ecosystem on my app: many people who have been lonely for a long period of time had their personalities and social skills hardened to the point that they either:

• did not know how to engage with others by understanding social cues and sharing stories about themselves that allow themselves to be vulnerable to others, which allows for deeper social connections
• felt they are never good enough, they are stuck in their situation, and there is nothing that can help them get better. Any help or suggestions offered by others would only work on others and did not apply to them.

My hope for the app was to help people who experience loneliness find and support each other. By providing the platform for them to voice out their stories, have them be heard by others, and find others who resonate and reply, I thought they would finally find friends whom they can relate to, share their lives with, and would no longer have to feel lonely again.
However, the reality was that many were hardened by loneliness and it was hard for such connections to materialize. Plus, one of the main ways for an app like this to grow is by word of mouth. Unfortunately, most people experiencing loneliness did not have anyone to share the app with, which stunted the app’s growth and mostly depended on me manually bringing users onto the platform.
With fewer chances of having good interactions, even the people who really resonated with the app and shared stories slowly stopped coming back. Some just suddenly ghosted, which made the experience on the app painful for other engaged people on the app.

My hope for the future:

I still believe that there are more people out there experiencing loneliness who have the deep desire to share their stories and find the long-term friends across the globe who understand each other and can share slices of their lives with.
So, if you are someone that can benefit from sharing stories and solve your loneliness this way, feel free to check out my app at https://bubblic.app
Also, if you know of any way I can improve the app to better help people experiencing loneliness, please leave a comment.
Lastly, word of mouth would really help. If you like the app, or if you know someone who would benefit from the app, please share it with others!

TLDR:

I created an app focused on voice communication to help lonely people connect, inspired by my own experiences. Despite an encouraging start and meaningful interactions, many users struggled to form lasting connections due to the deep impact of their loneliness. Growth has been slow, mainly reliant on my efforts. If you know someone who might benefit, please share my app: https://bubblic.app. Feedback is also welcome! Tech stack used:
Backend

• AWS Websocket, DynamoDB, Cognito, S3, Lambda

AI

• WhisperX model running on laptop locally

Frontend

• Flutter

Hi everyone. I am notorious for shutting myself down or feeling like I’m over reacting due to how my parents raised me, so I’m just looking for perspective.
I understand a parents’ love shouldn’t be about accomplishments, but I feel the need to describe the situation I’m in. Also, my parents made us heavily dependent on accomplishments, lmao. My mom would say “ordinary or extraordinary” and wrote me a horrible letter when I got my first B in high school, lol.
My brother grossly underperforms (took 6 years from a four year to graduate, which is fine, but it was a private university, so it cost my parents 75,000 a year and he lost his scholarship 3 times. He also failed out of his initial major, chose a diff major and failed out of that one, and ended up with a degree that was basically put together so he can graduated), has a lot of emotional issues(trigger warning for SH: he has threatened su!c!d3 multiple times), and is essentially an alcoholic at the age of 25. He needs so much help, and I’m aware of that. I’ve begged my parents to put him in a program or make him see a therapist, but they can’t force him as he is an adult, and he is so damaged that when his therapist needed more info to schedule an appointment, he got defensive and refused to go. He screams when he speaks and if something does not go his way, there is a problem. One time I didn’t want to go get oysters on a family trip because I don’t love them. And he had to walk away and ignore everyone for an hour. And my parents refuse to address that behavior because they’re afraid of him threatening to hurt himself.
I got accepted into a good private school (a mini ivy) with a 50,000 dollar scholarship. I went in as undeclared pre-med, but then decided to come home to pursue music (I know, I know). I went to community college for two years and then ended up going to a state school for music performance, fully funded. I won a huge nationally recognized award as I wrapped up my undergrad. I’ve tried to do everything “right” by my parents.
We both ended up graduating this year, and the lengths my parents went for him was crazy. We flew to Texas, they paid for my aunt and uncle’s hotel rooms, bought 500 dollars worth of alcohol, and planned a whole graduation weekend for him (itinerary and all). Dropped at LEAST 2k on him. My mom wept as he graduated and we all cheered him on.
I graduated and my parents missed the tassel moving, and it felt like any normal day. I was at home the day before and I basically prepared everything for graduation myself because my brother was home and they spoke with and to him the whole time.
My extended family makes me and my boyfriend feel more loved than my own mom and dad. I feel guilty feeling like they like or do more for my brother because I recognize they still do a lot for me, so I feel ungrateful when I feel resentful.
I’ll never tell them this because If I do, my mom will get so defensive and lash out at me. It’s like talking to an emotionally inept wall.
Let me know what you think bye ♥️

I feel like a little kid posting this but I just want to hear input from other parents because I just don’t understand.
I am the oldest daughter (25 now) and have a sister (21) and brother (24). My dad has always been really close with my sister and they’re very similar, and I understand that, but it feels like they have so many things they do between just the two of them and I’m never apart of it.
The one big thing they do every year that I’m never a part of is an annual fun trip out west. This started when I was in 8th grade and was originally the 3 of us (my dad does fun stuff with my brother as well, but this was something for us as sisters), except for the last 6+ years it’s always just the two of them. I understand I’m now an adult that works full time so I guess it’s harder for me to call off work to come with, but I would gladly call off to spend time with them if my dad ever made a genuine effort to invite me. It’s always a comment made in passing several months before the trip, like “hey I think we might go here the weekend of _____” and then it’s never brought up to me again until I hear that they’re leaving. He gets annoyed that I don’t seize on the single comment he makes months in advance, as if that’s a genuine attempt at inviting me, but I know he’s discussing everything with my sister as they’re buying flights, booking hotels, and making plans for weeks leading up to the trip and I never hear a word of it.
It just happened again this year but this time my dad truly didn’t say a word of it to me. He mentioned he couldn’t help me fix my car because he would be out of town, I said oh thanks for the invite, and he said he told me of the dates in January. I scrolled back through 4 months of texts and sent him pictures to show that he hadn’t ever mentioned it, and he said he was sorry and mentioned how there was one year I bailed out anyways (I can’t remember why but there was a genuine reason I couldn’t go). It’s always felt hurtful when it comes around each year but this time I just feel absolutely broken. I just don’t get it. As a parent to two daughters why wouldn’t you want them both with you? If one wasn’t able to go the previous year, wouldn’t that just make you want them to come with even more the following year? I understand doing special one on one things but there’s not really any one on one moments I share with my dad anymore between just the two of us now that I’m an adult.
Deep down I know he loves the bond between the two of them and I know he views this as their special trip every year. I finally told him how hurtful it was to go through the same argument every year and still have nothing change and out of anger I said I didn’t want him to reply to my message, but it’s been several days now and he really hasn’t said a word. They left for their trip today

How can you tell if a puppy will be reactive when little? We had a puppy that would try to eat up every person and animal that wasn't family at the age of 7 weeks when we got her. Up until 6 months old she was extremely reactive and almost bit the trainer in the face multiple times. I would like to know what to look out for in the early stages so that for my next dog I don't make the same mistake but this time I now know more and won't get from a backyard breeder again. I have a really good breeder picked out but I am scared that even with the amazing temperaments and other stuff the dog will still end up being like Harleigh. I am scared my next dog will be the same way even though we got our girl Harleigh out and tried to socialize her when we got her. My next dog will be just a pet companion as later on down the road I would like to have working lines but for now, I am going with an American Showline so I don't just jump right out the gate with a high drive dog. I know now that German Shepherds especially go through fear periods and can be reactive for a while. But Harleigh was bad. Harleigh was a life-threatening dog. So are there any small signs I should look for when I do get my next dog? I may not be able to get him for years but I would still like to be able to learn and write it down so I can see it coming before it hits. Thank you to anyone who read this and please no hate I am just trying to learn.

My boyfriend and i met last year while i was living in mexico. we were both on intense spiritual journeys and it seemed like our life visions and goals aligned. I was really hesistant to date him bc he was really into his self image (muscles, tattoos, tough guy from oakland). Not really my type. I enjoy highly intellectual convos and not taking myself too seriously. plus he lived far away and i knew i didnt want long distance. he convinced me to give him a chance and flew back every month to see me. But hes disciplined, stoic, doesnt give a fuck about other women, and committed to a healthy spiritual life. hes funny and goofy and i love being around him. introduced me to his friends very quickly and they had a lot of drama that they dumped onto me. seeking my advice etc. then his dad got cancer and he brought him to mexico to do ayahuasca. we had only been dating 2 months and he was asking me to hold A LOT of space for him his friends and his family. im an herbalist so i formulated medicines for him, picked up groceries, drove him to the hospital. it was a lot. I felt from the jump he wasnt a very considerate person.
I communicated time & time again that I felt he didnt have room on his plate to really get to know me and start a deep meaningful relationship. he assured me he was ready and in love with me, but I still felt super neglected. Time passed, we have been together for a year, moved back to the states last sept, he moved in with me. I pay all the bills since he was starting fresh, i already had a job. Now after living with him I'm learning that he has a very avoidant attachment style. he would fly back home for a couple weeks and wouldnt say i love you or i miss you. i asked him why, he said well u always say it first and ill always say it back. i asked him to please be more communicative so i can FEEL this love he says he has for me. Says he will. still rare to hear him say these things.
I have sought therapy, expressed the importance of connection, esp in the morn & night. still doesnt cuddle with me at night, doesnt intitiate sex ever (says he has deep fear of initimacy, & we can only have sex when he wants in the 1 position that makes him feel secure), no "im thinking of you" texts (says no, dude i dont miss you when im at work for just 8 hours). I bring up my needs all the time and he tells me i need to keep reminding him when i want these things.
BUT he admits to having all of these issues, asks me for patience & guidance in loving me the way i want. Says hes starting therapy in June. Knows this is a toxic pattern he wants to break. we do good for a week then its back. I find myself laying in bed crying a couple times a week, feeling neglected. I come from a violent drug feuled childhood, I didnt have any secure relationship with adults, so i can go to anxious very quick. I am working on myself bc I know my past is what keeps me feeling like i have to earn someones love. Did this same dance w my ex but he told me "what u want is a fantasy, its not realistic." even still, had a hard time breaking that one off.
the thing is, everyone around him tells me this is THE MOST love and compassion they have ever seen him exhibit in a relationship. He usually runs away. The fact that he chased me for months was shocking to his friends n family. I KNOW he loves me, but is it fair that im constantly feeling like I have to compromise my needs for closeness and connection, while I wait for him to HOPEFULLY change? itsnt it unfair for me to even ask him to change? doesnt that mean i dont love HIM but i hope he can become? *would love to hear from other avoidant men, i know women will just say RUN

So I (18F) have a crush on one of my friends (18M) for a long time (9 months exactly). I wanna confess but I don't know how to do it. I don't wanna scare him away by straight up telling him that I like him. We have a really good friendship and I don't wanna mess it up. We are pretty close to each other, there may be a chance that he likes me back (reading from the signs he gives me). What if I tell him that I'm interested in him and ask him if he wanna go on dates with me? I'm really scared about rejection, I don't wanna make things weird. Please help me🥹

Hello there! I've still not entirely recovered after finishing Rebirth, that ending was just whoa. I believe I've watched/read most of the theories out there regarding the game's finale and Aerith's fate, but none of them managed to explain everything sufficiently. I admit I'm in the "I hope Aerith lives" camp, but I understand the corner the developers wrote themselves into: Aerith fans and the japanese fanbase at large will riot if she dies for good, and purists will riot if one of the games' central themes (coping with loss, grieving) is broken. A textbook case of trying to have your cake and eat it too. Unless they find a way to do both?
Trying to get my mind off FF7, I replayed Zero Escape: Virtue's Last reward (seriously try it if you were more impressed than annoyed by FF7R's multiverse shenanigans, it's the real good stuff), and one of the puzzles caused a bit of a eureka moment to me. A secondary solution to a puzzle in one of the rooms is the sentence "SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING". It obviously hints at a character in the game and not FF7, but with the implications of the two games thus far in the remake continuity (plus AC), one character in Zero Escape bears a striking resemblance to Aerith: Akane Kurashiki (Big spoiler for the first game in ZE: 9 hours 9 persons 9 doors).
Both are capable of jumping between their selves in different timelines and have awareness of it. Akane is trying to prevent her own death by gathering information she needs to escape death via incineration, from other timelines and in the future. Would Aerith resign to her own fate even in command of such a power? Pre-chapter 13 it's heavily implied she wouldn't, why would discovering that she's basically omniscient change this?
Unless she has a plan cooking. She's being relentlessly hunted by someone who also has multiversal knowledge and could overpower and kill her any day of the week. She needs to throw Sephiroth off her trail somehow. If you played Persona 5, the situation might be familiar to you... (spoilers for Persona 5 follow)
In that game, the protagonist Joker and his fellow phantom thieves are being cornered by the detective Akechi, who at that point is a traitor amongst them. How do they get out of the situation? By failing an infiltration, Joker getting caught, the tricking Akechi into a cognitive version of the interrogation room he's being held in and letting him kill Joker there. Akechi is in the belief that he killed Joker in the real world.
This got me thinking: what if Aerith pulled a similar trick? Her situation is a bit more complicated, in that she knows Cloud is under Sephiroth's control, so she has to fool the party as well to fool Sephiroth. Her mournfulness in the Ch14 date could come from her impending doom - or the guilty conscience from what she has to put the party and especially Cloud through and that she may doom one of her alternate timeline selves to death.
As for the how, there are multiple possibilities, but the one I find most likely is that she swapped her consciousness with the comatose Aerith from Zack's world. As for when it happened, I believe it was at the moment when everyone was distracted by the smoke and mirrors - the moment Cloud deflected Sephiroth's blade. Whether this happened for real and created a timeline shift, one where Aerith lived and one where she was impaled, or just in Cloud's mind, it doesn't matter. It's the ultimate red herring. Cloud can have a revelation at some point in the 3rd game that she failed to save Aerith, he still won't know that the body Sephiroth stabbed didn't have Beagle!Aerith's soul in it, but Terrier!Aerith's comatose and possibly damaged soul. Such a last-second switch of a would-be-victim isn't the first time Square pulled this. It's what happened in Chrono trigger too! Remember what Marlene said about Terrier!Aerith to Zack? "When Aerith wakes up, she will be killed." Why does she wake up? Because she switched places with Beagle!Aerith!! Terrier!Aerith's body now contains Beagle!Aerith's soul, the one that prayed at the Forgotten Capital, the one that's whole, healthy and undamaged. Marlene was right, although the "multiple versions of Aerith" thing went over her head, understandably.
And if Cloud split the timeline again by deflecting Masamune, and can see both timelines? All the better. Where is the real black materia? Hidden in the void between worlds. Where Cloud's mind is right now. That may be why he finds the black materia in his pocket. That will draw Sephiroth's attention, lure him towards his OG plan of summoning Meteor, a threat Aerith can deal with once the party defeats Sephiroth at the northern crater.
As for who fights beside Cloud in Rebirth's final boss battle? I believe it's omni!Aerith, the one who gave premonitions of the future to her self in Remake, the one who visited Cloud in his dream in Remake chapter 14.
Why do I think this explanation could predict what happens in Part 3? Because this way, the writers can keep their cake until the very last minute, then eat it. The party and the player can go through coping with Aerith's "death", then have her return at the very last minute to appease those who yearn for her survival, at the climax of the game, when Sephiroth is weakened, on his last phase and Meteor needs to be stopped. This way, she can be kept out of the plot for the most part, and her presence, both story- and gameplaywise can be a postgame reward. Not to mention the mindblowing revelation of her complex plot at the end.
Anyway, that's just my theory, I needed to write it out of me. 2027(?) can't come soon enough.

I'll start off by saying I don't want to sit here and write a post of another failed set of parents, but, alas, I have nobody else I can speak to about this that would really understand. I've found therapists do be rather unhelpful and I truly have trust issues with people. I've kept a lot of this inside for my life and at this point I think I just need to somehow let it out instead of punching holes in walls or screaming in anger randomly. Maybe writing it here would help me sleep a full night or be a little happier in life?
Either way, I would genuinely appreciate hearing your take on this for those who have experienced a similar past. I'm not looking for sympathy, but a possible path that I can take in getting rid of this hate I have inside of me for good.
​
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By the age of 13 I had already been living with different friends for months and months with no idea where or what my mother was doing. I went to school but only when I wanted to, otherwise I would wander around and skateboard on the streets until it was time to go 'home'. She would randomly show up in her beat up 80s Honda accord with everything she owned in the backseat to see me once in a BLUE moon. Never once did she speak with my friends parents or caretakers about me, just assumed I would worm my way into another family and their life and become another mouth to feed with no explanation. As a kid you don't really see it from an adults perspective, but as an adult you know there's a failed adult behind this child in your home.
I knew the situation wasn't ideal, but I was living with my best friend at the time for a while as a kid. Every night was video games with your best bud, how bad can life be?
My mother was 17 when she had me, and 16 when she had my brother both with the same guy. I never knew my brother, he was given away because either she was too young or she didn't want him. I spoke with him a few times on social media, but nothing more. I don't use any social media so any contact I did have is gone. He didn't know I existed until I had reached out and has never spoken with our blood parents.
Super mommy did it all. Drank whatever and whenever she could, frequently used drugs (even sold them to my friends who were in middle school for a couple of bucks), fist fought anyone that upset her (including men and myself at a certain age) and was always the victim in these scenarios. She hadn't been this way for as long as I knew her, but majority of the time it was. She had a temper like no other and felt like it was "her" superpower. When it reality it's just a weakness that everyone gets to experience firsthand, either verbally or physically depending on the day. "You can fuck with mean, but you can't fuck with crazy!" she'd say, moments before road raging with a stranger at midnight in the middle of nowhere.
When my 'step' father (the man who raised me most of my life and I love with everything I have) had heard of my situation living abroad, he didn't hesitate to pick me up and take me to a better place in an entirely different part of the country. He and my mother didn't see eye to eye on much after I was about 4 years old, but he always stuck around in the same town we lived in to be around me. Eventually he went back to his hometown when she severed communication between he and I. Only through the grapevine did he hear about me and what I was doing. A few days later he had driven across the US day and night to pick me up, give that family money, thanked them and took me away.
The last time I spoke with my mother was when she took me out for some new shoes for my 14th birthday making promises left and right, while again sitting in her car with everything she had in the backseat. It was just another day with this human who couldn't help but do drugs and lie to me. I already knew I wouldn't be here in a few days and when she came back to see me, I was gone.
I lived in this new home and it actually felt like one with my Dad (step dad but he was my DAD). A few years of having a HOME was surreal and I think I took it for granted, because that too came to an end. I was just starting college and that's when parent #2 came into my life.
Meet Bio-dad! He was once only a few blurry pictures from many years past and tales from my shaman mother. Naturally I was always curious about him, and one day we were in contact with one another. Somehow he managed to find me, even though he had been paying child support for most of my life. He flew out to meet me, and a few months later I somehow decided moving across the country to live with him was a swell idea.
I thought this might have been it, finally, the blood I thought I always wanted in my life. But just a few months in I realized he was no better than her. He was successful and worked hard, but that doesn't mean he's a good person let alone a father. I never called him Dad or Father purely because I was a young adult now and didn't need another figure like that in my life, let alone from someone I barely knew. He was on marriage 2 or 3 with step kids and I just felt like I was 13 years old again in another strange house. I was told he spent a long time trying to find me when he was paying child support but was never able to. I believed him at first, and sometime later many divorced fathers told me that probably isn't be true.
It felt like he was constantly angry or upset at something. His wife, the kids, the dogs, the pool, whatever he was annoyed with everyone else was obligated to agree or veer away. He often found ways to make himself out to be the hardest worker and nothing matters but how many hours you clock in your worksheet. He "wished he could work 40 hours a week". After a few months of everyone arguing, yelling and finger pointing over little nothings each day, I decided I didn't need this kind of stress in my life and left to live in my small truck for a few weeks until I found a room to rent on my own and start my adult life.
Over the years he's tried to stay in contact with me but I never really gave much back to him if at all. I have no interest in knowing him, but his insistent attempts to contact me with 'family is important' yada yada makes my blood boil. I have no blood family as far as I care to know. I'm on the latter half of this life and I simply don't see the point in trying to establish these relationships because we have the same grandparents or blood. Why would I EVER try to put myself into that situation again? For family? Something I really don't value or care about?
The last couple of years I went from never thinking about these humans to frequently finding myself shaking from anger and distracted in life from what I want to actually do and accomplish. I feel like I'm stuck on this chapter and I really, really need to move on from it. I thought just ignoring it would work, but alas as time goes on I get random phone calls and texts from people I used to know trying to get in contact with me. I know who they are, and I know who they're speaking for, but I don't ever give them the satisfaction of even responding.
So here I am, wondering what I should do. Do I call both of them (keep in mind I don't think they've spoken since the early 90s) and let each person individually know that I'd rather watch them suffer in life than to spend time with them? I don't even want them to know where I am, what I'm doing or what I sound like. Do I write them an email, pray they know what that even is and hope they understand I don't care for them?
I considered getting hypnotized so I can fully forget them. As ridiculous as that sounds I often wonder if I could completely remove them from my memory, would I be a better person? Would I finally feel this tension in my chest leave? Would I stop screaming internally when I'm alone out of anger towards them?
At this point in my life I just want to be happy with what I have and leave them in an old time capsule never to be opened again. As I get older the more I understand that childhood tremendously dictates who we are, and I'm learning that I don't really like who I am in some aspects, and I blame them for that. Whatever good and success I have in life is because of my 'step' Dad and how he raised me the best he could.
I don't know that I could be calm or mature enough to clearly state how I feel without emotions coming into the mix. Every time I imagine talking to them it quickly turns into a rage that takes a while to let go of.
If you read my rant, thank you. If you didn't, I don't blame you one bit.
tl;dr I need to completely remove my parents from my life so I can move on, and I'm not sure how to go about it.
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hatesink

In a medieval fantasy story i wrote a very long time ago this was a minor antagonist based on the info below where would you place a character like this:
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
Gender:F
Height:5'7 - 5'8 (170 - 173 cm)
Weight:120 lbs (54 kg)
Skin:pale
Hair:dark brown to black
Eyes:brown
Age:22
(Both physical appearance and personality are based partially on a real life narcissistic pick me girl i knew in high school lol)
(Unusual traits:deformed canine teeth that look like boar tusks)
Behavior:
-niece of a minor ivan the terrible-esque murderous nobleman
-one of several of sycophantic henchmen/goons
-verbally kisses ass more out of self preservation than genuine loyalty
-doesnt simply 'follow orders',adds in their own 'orders' a little bit every now and then just because
-basic personality traits are:1. Sycophancy 2. Sadism
-affinity for poisoning and backstabbing people (this b literally is portrayed as having a 'special room' thats just a collection of different kinds of poisons and daggers/knives)
-cackles like a hyena
-uses being physically frail/small to pretend like theyre not much of a threat despite evidence to the contrary (the idea is basically:what? Youre assuming a tiny,frail 5'8 120-lb female is capable of murdering someone? You must be out of your mind 🙄)
-has no actual social skills beyond when its necessary to suck up to authority figures for the sake of self preservation
-mindset (not actually said word for word but basically how the character acts):'you see,i cant be evil! Because im a part of the state and the state is good! So if you stand in the way of the state,YOU'RE evil! And you deserve anything you get! smug smirk'
-perfectly satisfied with being a mid-to-high ranking goon as long as it means 'i stay physically alive for as long as possible and get to indulge in sadism when convenient'
-also casually xenophobic (just like evil uncle) because why not
Etc.
Where do you put this karen?
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I'm not sure if this is the right subreddit, but here we go. I [14GF] have been dating this girl [14F] for a few months. We've been good friends for about 7 years before getting together and our relationship was relatively smooth sailing. That is, until she recently showed up at my house unannounced, sent me a photo of my window with a smiley face and stood there in the rain trying to get me to open the door. I didn't, as I'm terrified of her [she's bigger and more athletic than me, not to mention she does musado], and broke it off over the phone, because it seemed awfully stalker-y. That day, she sent me about 20 more messages, most of them trauma dumping or suicide threats.
She's still texting me to this day, trying to get me to respond and convince me how much she loves me and stuff. She even made a fake Insta and WhatsApp account impersonating a scammer to get me to respond.
I'm conflicted on what to do in this situation, as I don't really wanna leave her. But at the same time, I'm pretty sure dating someone that unstable isn't good for me, especially since I'm not doing well mentally myself.
Thank you for anyone that took the time out of their day to read this, and I'll appreciate any sort of advice.

Hi everyone,
I have a Antillies pink toe who has finally started to go from blue to pink (got it as a spinderling) so its three almost four years old. I've finally moved it into it final enclosure for the rest of its adult life. I have branches and sticks that go to the top of the enclosure and it's an arboreal tank. At first everything was going great. He (not sure of the real sex) built a nice big home up top and it was doing great. However a few months ago it started letting its home decay and fall apart, and was spending time outside of it.
This is the potential fuck up, he never cleaned it up so I decided to remove the webbing to maybe get him to rebuild it. Instead he hasn't rebuilt the home, has put some random webbing on the bottom of the tank, and will usually spend his time pacing and occasionally falling in his tank. I just saw him curled up in a ball on the ground and thought he maybe died but he's alive.
He hasn't been eating the best lately either. I think the crickets have been getting to a spot he struggles to reach in the corner. Then when food is hand fed or sitting next to him he/they wont always go for it.
My typical care is to feed him once a week and fill up his dish twice a week. The house temp varies from 70-75 f. I don't mist him and don't see any mold in his tank and it smells fine (like spider). He poops all over the tank but that's pretty normal. I pick out the dead crickets when they die without being eaten.
Let me know if anyone has ideas on how to get him back to building a home and nesting again. I just want to see him happy and snug

…and I don’t know how to explain it to people. Outwardly I seem fine, but I’m dying on the inside. Like I feel like my soul is just giving up.
I feel profoundly defeated in all aspects of my life. I feel like I used to pride myself in my ability to persevere and endure. But recently I’ve started to feel all of that eroding beneath me.
It feels like the core of most of my turmoil stems from my self-esteem just taking continuous beatings.
Friendships
I’ve got friends. I even have some close friends. But it feels like they’re all forgetting about me. I keep telling myself it’s because we’re getting older. I get it, people have more stuff to focus on in their life and limited time. But the part that’s eating at me is that I feel like I’m getting deprioritized over other people or that some of the people I thought I was close to don’t feel the same closeness.
I’m left with either trying harder (which hasn’t worked and makes me suffer even more) or disengage (which hasn’t worked and makes me suffer more).
Like I’m pretty sure if I died, people would be sad. But no one would be shook. And I feel terrible for thinking that, because I never want to willingly inflict pain on my friends.
Career
I have no motivation. I used to do what I thought was stellar work as a strategy consultant, but I couldn’t hack it. The high pressure environment got to me and I had to quit for my sanity. Felt like a failure. Moved to a startup that I’ve been excited for. Startup is running out of money. Feel like a failure.
One of the pieces of feedback that I got when I was a consultant was that I was “too honest” with the client and I had to learn how to not let the data get in the way of the story.
Dating
My last relationship was 7 years ago, got cheated on. She told me a year later after the incidents (the day before I was going to propose). That fucked me up real good. Anytime I hear about infidelity, I have a visceral anxiousness creep up (I hide it real well).
Only dates that I get now are from dating apps, which don’t really go past the first few dates. Most of it is definitely because I don’t feel that spark, but I don’t even know that I can generate that spark anymore.
Family
Constant pressure to “just get married”. I just turned 33 this week. The pressure is from all members including extended family (except my brother). Doesn’t feel great to keep telling them that the issue isn’t that I don’t want to get married, it’s that I haven’t found that person.
As I’m typing this out I realize it sounds super tame and not enough to be sad relative to the troubles of the world. It’s not like I’m dying or in danger.
If I had to sum up succinctly, it’s that I don’t feel like I am enough. For anyone.
I guess more accurately, I feel like I’m not being seen as enough. I see other people going through life and it seems like everything comes naturally to them, whereas I struggle and fight and still come up short.
My confidence pops up once in a while and tells me to keep going! But it seems that the external validation I keep getting is that I’m broken. A failure. Not bf/husband material. Not wanted.
I’ve been trying to endure. But I’m depleted. I’m running on fumes.

So I F 28 and my partner M 26 have been together coming up on a year in about a week.
So for context; I have been cheated on 3 times before by previous partners.
A few weeks ago someone messaged my partner in the middle of the night. We talked about it and he was forthright and gave me access to his phone. I could not find anything suspicious on his phone. But due to my unfortunate dating history, I decided to make a post on my local facebook group called ‘Are we dating the same guy’ just for my own sanity. (trust but verify)
Good news! No one is talking/dating him , but apparently someone else posted about him about a year and a half ago, and his ex commented on that post. It was a long paragraph, but the most concerning thing was that she had said he had admitted to her that he had sexual thoughts about his mother.
Now I have known this man for a year and I have gotten no indication of this at all. He has said previously that talking about kinks makes him uncomfortable so our conversations have always been brief.
Last night I decided to try to bring up kinks in a casual way. It wasn’t a long discussion but it got uncomfortable and basically he said, the things he feels and thinks bring him shame and he doesn’t want to share them with me.
I don’t exactly want to bring the post up as the reason for my posting of him was due to my anxiety of being cheated on. I just happened to find something his ex posted as a result of that, that mentioned a kink that may or may not be true.
I want to support my partner. I’m of the opinion that as long as your kink doesn’t hurt anyone else who cares? At least for most run of the mill kinks. But this? I’m concerned to say the least.
How do you navigate your partner potentially having an incest kink with their mom? This is completely uncharted territory.
He has been so kind and sweet to me and I’m genuinely at a loss. Do I just let this go?
(For context he has a very normal relationship with his mom as far as I have observed. His mom is nice and a bit overbearing, and I also have a good relationship with her. She is admittedly very beautiful and looks like she is 10-15 years younger than she is. She also used to model)

I met this girl on Bumble, and we hit it off right away. I suggested meeting up, which she appreciated, and we had a great first date that lasted 8-9 hours. We shopped for her, enjoyed some good food, and really connected. The next day, she asked me to meet up again, and we spent a few hours together after work. A few days later, I invited her on a proper date to a cafe/pub, and we clicked once more. We ended up meeting three times in one week, and she was very responsive to my texts, flirting, and jokes.
After second date, she told me she will have to shift for post graduation (although not too far) and she said she wants to continue this thing, which I agreed on.
I had to go back to my hometown, which was planned before I met her, but it was her birthday, so I gave her gifts, clothes, and sent her flowers, which she loved. After I left, I noticed her texts were becoming less responsive. I also used to ask her deep questions. I became suspicious and re-downloaded Bumble (she had uninstalled it but hadn’t unmatched me). I saw her location update from home to her office area.
How should I confront her??

AITA for letting my dads ex-girlfriend throw me and my boyfriend a baby shower?
all names will be fake for the sake of privacy but here we go. i (20f) am pregnant with my first child and super excited to become a mother! i have not had any type of baby shower prior to my dads ex, we’ll call her jessica, throwing one for me and my (22m) boyfriend. now my father and jessica broke up probably around 6 years ago but when i moved out at 17 i kept in contact with her. she’s never done anything wrong to me and always took care of me when i needed it. she’s brought me groceries when i had covid, drove hours to come see me, just always helped without any hesitation. my mom wanted to throw me a baby shower but due to different circumstances she has been on the fence about it, jessica on the other hand took her own time and money to organize a baby shower with out me and my bf having to ask. she just did it, and it was amazing! my mom has never liked jessica, im not sure exactly why, she just doesn’t like her. jessica never did anything wrong to my mom. other than date my father while him and my mom were split up. so after the baby shower was over i posted the pictures that were taken, jessica was obv in the pictures, not 20 minutes after i posted them my mom texts me saying how i’ve completely disrespected her and im blocked on everything. now my feelings toward this is, im a grown adult, been moved out for almost 4 years now… i should be able to have whom ever i want in my life. especially someone who’s never done anything wrong to me. doesn’t matter who it is. jessica did something nice for me AND my bf that my mom wasn’t willing to do. so AITA?

SEO, or Search Engine Optimization, can seem like a complex puzzle, especially in the specialized healthcare field. However, understanding key principles can significantly enhance your content’s visibility and reach. Here’s a quick guide to optimizing your healthcare content for search engines.

1. Keyword Research: Start with identifying the right keywords. Use tools like Google Keyword Planner or Ahrefs to find relevant terms for which your target audience is searching. Focus on both broad keywords (e.g., "healthcare tips") and long-tail keywords (e.g., "how to manage diabetes with diet").
   
2. Quality Content: Ensure your content is informative, accurate, and up-to-date. Google prioritizes content that provides real value to users. It means detailed articles, research-backed information, and expert insights for healthcare.
   
3. On-Page SEO: Optimize your content for readability and search engines. Use your primary keyword in the title, headers, and naturally throughout the text. Ensure a clean structure with H1, H2, and H3 tags to help search engines understand your content’s hierarchy.
   
4. Meta Descriptions and Titles: Craft compelling meta descriptions and title tags. These elements are crucial for click-through rates as they summarize your content in search results. Include your main keyword and make it enticing to encourage users to click.
   
5. Mobile Optimization: Many users access healthcare information via mobile devices, so ensure your website is mobile-friendly. Google’s mobile-first indexing means that a site’s mobile version is now the primary version considered for ranking.
   
6. Backlinks and Internal Links: Gain credibility through backlinks from reputable healthcare websites. Also, use internal links to guide visitors to other relevant content on your site, improving their experience and increasing their time spent on it.
   
7. Local SEO: If you offer localized services, optimize for local SEO. Ensure your practice’s name, address, and phone number are consistent across all online platforms and claim your Google My Business listing.
   

Implementing these SEO strategies can boost your healthcare content’s visibility and ensure that valuable information reaches those who need it most. Good SEO is about quality and relevance, so focus on creating content that genuinely benefits your audience.

I'm not going to treat my situation like it's the first time it happened but how big of a pp slap would someone get for them unofficially looking up a person, without ever meeting them face to face, because they're dating your ex?
For context, my ex is a cop who stole over 55k worth of items and money, can't afford the legal battle to basically see 5k of that, and she tried to falsely claim I was suicidal. She and I just sent all the divorce papers in and she stated that she unofficially searched up my ex and found nothing wrong, said she was "one of the good ones," and did it because she didn't want my career or myself to get fucked over by her.
Ironic asf ain't it?
And I won't kid myself, reporting it would do more harm to me and my gf more than her being in trouble.
Edit: I should state that this is in Canada, and she's federal... so put two and two together and you can figure out which org she's apart of.