Briggs oil filter cross reference
r/motorcycle is everything to do with Motorcycle life!
2008.12.13 20:38 r/motorcycle is everything to do with Motorcycle life!
A place to share this magnificent obsession. Be polite to your fellow's and keep all posts motorcycle related (examples are stories and pictures with your bike, riding equipment not needed for a nice vanity pic) the moderation here will be light as long as it is on point.
2019.06.07 17:55 Veritasibility Genshin Impact Official
This is the official community for Genshin Impact (原神), the latest open-world action RPG from HoYoverse. The game features a massive, gorgeous map, an elaborate elemental combat system, engaging storyline & characters, co-op game mode, soothing soundtrack, and much more for you to explore!
2016.09.07 10:25 Fggkio Moe(Stash)
This sub is all about spotlighting the best and highest quality art pieces from other redditbooru network subreddits.
2024.05.22 00:16 Caeduin Navigating the (Hopefully) Final Stretch of My Industry Transition: Last Interview Hurdle?
I've been lining up an industry transition out of postdoc for the better part of this past calendar year. In this current market, I'm a bit shellshocked and reluctant to count a good thing until its 100% certain. Not being in the biz or having run this gauntlet before, I wanted to cross-validate some of the signals I've received in my hiring process thus far.
Role is PhD level in clinical data science and I've cleared the three interview rounds initially described to me: 1) hiring manager interview (referred internally through network), 2) technical coding/test project round, and 3) presentation to senior team members for test project.
There was a two-week lull after I presented during which they interviewed their remaining candidates and asked me to hold on a bit longer. Having finished that, they've now come back talking about a previously undiscussed "final" round of 30 min interviews with HR, the lead project manager, operations president, and two technical leads collateral to my potential role.
My hiring manager described these interviews as "culture fit," but said certain stakeholders might ask technical Qs. Whole shebang has taken the better part of two months and the crawl has been agonizing w/ respect to planning over the next months.
Any pros want to give me their read on this? Am I close to closing this shit or is there any chance that this is some final strut down the catwalk because they're split between me and someone else? I'm proud of myself for seeing this through, but uncertain how I should understand what I've accomplished to this point (and what these final interviews mean).
Thanks for the advice!
submitted by Caeduin to biotech [link] [comments]
Role is PhD level in clinical data science and I've cleared the three interview rounds initially described to me: 1) hiring manager interview (referred internally through network), 2) technical coding/test project round, and 3) presentation to senior team members for test project.
There was a two-week lull after I presented during which they interviewed their remaining candidates and asked me to hold on a bit longer. Having finished that, they've now come back talking about a previously undiscussed "final" round of 30 min interviews with HR, the lead project manager, operations president, and two technical leads collateral to my potential role.
My hiring manager described these interviews as "culture fit," but said certain stakeholders might ask technical Qs. Whole shebang has taken the better part of two months and the crawl has been agonizing w/ respect to planning over the next months.
Any pros want to give me their read on this? Am I close to closing this shit or is there any chance that this is some final strut down the catwalk because they're split between me and someone else? I'm proud of myself for seeing this through, but uncertain how I should understand what I've accomplished to this point (and what these final interviews mean).
Thanks for the advice!
2024.05.22 00:15 BarnacleJust1676 cross progression achievement question!
So i recently started playing the witcher 3 for the first time(ik im late), and i’ve gotten through a good portion of the main quest, and grinded alot of the map for white orchard and velen doing all the side quests and such.
I’ve been playing on death march for the achievements because i love achievement hunting, just to realize that epic games doesn’t support achievements for witcher 3, luckily the game was on sale for 10 bucks on steam so i bought it due to cross progression in hopes of it giving me the achievements i worked for on epic games.
Sadly it hasn’t given them to me when i loaded it up and was wondering if there was a way to make it happen! i spent a lot of time grinding for oils,potions, blueprints, etc… so i really don’t want to restart the game to get my achievements normally. If anyone knows how to get it to work i’d be forever grateful!
submitted by BarnacleJust1676 to witcher [link] [comments]
I’ve been playing on death march for the achievements because i love achievement hunting, just to realize that epic games doesn’t support achievements for witcher 3, luckily the game was on sale for 10 bucks on steam so i bought it due to cross progression in hopes of it giving me the achievements i worked for on epic games.
Sadly it hasn’t given them to me when i loaded it up and was wondering if there was a way to make it happen! i spent a lot of time grinding for oils,potions, blueprints, etc… so i really don’t want to restart the game to get my achievements normally. If anyone knows how to get it to work i’d be forever grateful!
2024.05.22 00:15 FrostingWilling7139 Septic question
Hi everyone. I have a 2 bed 1.5 bath house with a 42 yr old septic system with a sand filter. About 3 years ago we noticed a soft spot at what we believe to be the end of one leach line; however, it has not gotten bigger or changed at all in 3 years. We got the tank pumped in January as routine maintenance and the company said there was evidence of high water at one point but looked overall healthy and “should last a long time.” The tank and dbox are concrete. Then 5 months later in May, we are noticing foul smelling water pooling over the tank lid after we use the washing machine. We called the company and they came back out and pumped again and put a camera in to see the dbox. They basically said they couldn’t tell what was going on so we dug the dbox up and opened it. Totally full of brown water. They are telling us we have two options: total system replacement at $26k or trying to hydro jet it but that has a 50/50 shot of extending the life. $26k is a ton of money and not something we expected to spend right now. Does anyone have more info on hydro jetting and the actual possibility it could help for a couple years? Or any other thoughts?! For reference, we are in central NY. Thank you SO much in advance, as this is all new to us first time homeowners.
I also don’t think we’d be eligible for any grants bc we are above the low income line, though still very much not rich ;).
submitted by FrostingWilling7139 to Plumbing [link] [comments]
I also don’t think we’d be eligible for any grants bc we are above the low income line, though still very much not rich ;).
2024.05.22 00:03 X_Factors Help me guess what someone yelled at me from a car.
I was biking home from work and was passed by a car. Someone yelled at me out the window something that sounded like "oil up!"
My chain wasn't squeaking (nor could he have heard at that passing speed), and I don't assume he was encouraging me to go all Muscle Beach on the baby oil. I'd like to hear your best guesses at what he could have been referring to or what he could have said that I misheard.
submitted by X_Factors to bikecommuting [link] [comments]
My chain wasn't squeaking (nor could he have heard at that passing speed), and I don't assume he was encouraging me to go all Muscle Beach on the baby oil. I'd like to hear your best guesses at what he could have been referring to or what he could have said that I misheard.
2024.05.22 00:03 beanstomoon Znen Falcon 7 Moped HELP
Ive been having an issue where my moped will ride great and then randomly gets backed up when i try to accelerate, and will bog down until it shuts off. After that it wont start for a few hours and i have no idea what to do anymore.
So far trying to fix it I have: Replaced the petcock fuel valve, fuel filter, carburetor, spark plug, and electric choke and all my aifuel lines
Ive also done a valve adjustment to make my intake and exhaust .005” (i live in utah) and put new 91 fuel in it. My battery runs at 12v when off and running and my air filter is clean although I've never replaced it (i clean it every oil change every 1-3k miles) . Ive also adjusted my idle screw and i never had an issue with my fuel/air ratio on either of my carbs (they’re both capped off anyways).
Im really at a loss right now and the only thing i can think of is maybe my CDI needs to be replaced or my exhaust is plugged and i have to clean out my pipe. Ive been running it without a muffler for 7k miles and never had an issue up until past month.
Please help 😂
submitted by beanstomoon to scooters [link] [comments]
So far trying to fix it I have: Replaced the petcock fuel valve, fuel filter, carburetor, spark plug, and electric choke and all my aifuel lines
Ive also done a valve adjustment to make my intake and exhaust .005” (i live in utah) and put new 91 fuel in it. My battery runs at 12v when off and running and my air filter is clean although I've never replaced it (i clean it every oil change every 1-3k miles) . Ive also adjusted my idle screw and i never had an issue with my fuel/air ratio on either of my carbs (they’re both capped off anyways).
Im really at a loss right now and the only thing i can think of is maybe my CDI needs to be replaced or my exhaust is plugged and i have to clean out my pipe. Ive been running it without a muffler for 7k miles and never had an issue up until past month.
Please help 😂
2024.05.22 00:01 Gossip-Luv2 Retrieved the content of Tweets on SLB's eccentricities - The Mythmaker’s Legacy - Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, I am the Greatest of Them All!
Thanks to Patron Member u/Entharo_entho - Here is the wiped out Tweet retrieved
Context - Wiped out from Internet
In March, I got a chance to work with filmmaker Sanjay Leela Bhansali right after he made Gangubai Kathiawadi, and Alia Bhatt, playing the titular character in the film, retweeted me.
The headline (in my head) was going to be, ‘The Boy From Kamathipura Goes To Bhansali Mandi.’
Then reality struck in April.
One of my closest friends Sweta called me from the Shivapuri National Park near Kathmandu and put me on speaker. Two other friends Mona and Ayush were listening to the WhatsApp call.
‘How’s it going with Bhansu?’ Sweta asked.
‘We are not working together anymore,’ I said.
‘Whaaaaaaaat?’ the three people shrieked, creating a wavy disturbance in audio frequency.
‘Whyyyyy?’ they cried, collectively anguished.
‘He said he is not feeling the vibes.’
‘What?’
‘Vibes,’ I said aloud, causing a seismic tremor in the audio frequency.
‘What vibes?’ Sweta jibed, ‘Maybe he can’t feel the vibrator.’
Laughter upped the vibes.
First, a little context on how I got that far. Check this, this, this & this.
So my tweets were going viral in February-March.
In the second week of March, a woman DM’d me saying she loves the tweets. I said thank you. She said she works at Bhansali Productions.
Whoopsie Daisy!
I asked if I could be a part of the production. She checked with SLB and team. He said he wants to meet now.
NOW!
How?
I was in Calcutta.
I called an actor friend in Bombay and told him about it.
“They will book your tickets and put you up in 5-star,” he said, “Like Hollywood.”
“This is Bhansaliwood,” I said, “Yahan dhanda hamesha manda hai.”
I flew (on my own expense) and met him.
I was ‘prepared’ by his team for the meeting with His High and Mightiness.
I was told:
I sashayed in a brown kurta and white linen trousers. Please see Madhuri Dixit-Nene’s brown ghagra for aesthetic reference I used from my very limited wardrobe of the only kurta I had at the time. By the way, the chorus sings ‘Jhanak Jhanak Payal Baaje,’ aesthetically referencing you know what, right?
He was lunching with his minions (strictly calling them minions from his pov) when I arrived in his pristine white dining hall in a building called Magnum Opus. Where else should he reside, no? Both his house, and his office (where I was ‘prepared’ earlier) were tastefully done in creamy white.
It was, as I said to my friend later, like walking into a cumulus cloud, or like sitting on his favourite singer Lata Mangeshkar’s lap. Calm, serene and quite surreal. I was inside his snow globe. Violins from a Bach concerto (in my head) were replaced with say Madan Mohan’s doleful rendition of ‘Mai ri main ka se kahoon peedh apne jiya ki.’ (Side effect of writing this on Mother’s Day.)
I look for books when I enter a house for signs of intelligent life. There were lots of lamps and candelabras but where were the stacks of books they were perched on? The aesthetic was high on film set disposable kitsch. I stared into a cumulative void.
The minions were intensely debating Darjeeling momos. What’s that? I spent my childhood there. Never heard of this GI tag!
SLB relished his meal and said, “I want puranpoli today.”
Puranpoli appeared not out of thin air, but a house-help flipping wishes instantly on a griddle on the fifth floor. We were on the first floor. Although the puranpoli is shaped like a flying saucer, it doesn’t fly, perhaps burdened by the weight of excess ghee and crowd-pleasing expectation. It does, however, reach SLB’s plate at the speed of light.
‘Give him some,’ he asked a minion to serve me while I waited on the sofa.
‘I’ve had lunch, thank you,’ I said, trying to behave. The plate arrived. I took a mousy bite to exhibit my failing attempt to transform into a champion minion.
When he came to chat, he noticed the unfinished food and gently reminded me how there were days he went hungry. I should have rolled my eyes for my own lean days.
‘One should not waste food,’ he said.
‘I don’t,’ I said, ‘I was going to parcel it home in a doggy bag.’
Hearing the word doggy, his well-behaved dog came over to inspect me.
He observed me. I petted her perfunctorily. Am a cat person. Stereotypical writer stuff — allergic to undesired petting and attention.
‘So, what have you done?’ he asked, sitting on a sort of empire-style bergere chair. Full marks for faux-ornate.
‘A novel, some writing for a series,’ I said nervously, dismissively.
‘Anything I might have seen?’ he asked.
‘No, not worthwhile.’
‘Are you interested in direction also?’
‘No, am not delusional.’
A moment passed. I might have displayed an errant repartee.
‘I mean, I can only write, or am trying to,’ I said. L’esprit de l’escalier.
He gave me a spiel on writing, how screenplay is an art not many understand, etc, et cetera.
I nodded to make his voice disappear.
‘What are you writing now?’
I showed him the cover of my new book, The Last Courtesan, featuring my mother, on my phone.
‘Oh, this is so fascinating,’ he said.
He spoke rapturously about Calcutta’s great food and colonial architecture when I mentioned growing up in Bowbazar kothas. If you watch any of his interviews now on YouTube you will realise he only speaks in raptures. He’s always explaining things like an impassioned conductor at a dime-store opera. It can exhaust the boorish audience immediately. He spoke about living in the Kamathipura area as a child when I said I had lived there. The mythmaker was interested in exoticising his own legend as an ‘outsider’.
‘But how will you work here if your mother is in Calcutta?’ he said, ‘I am a maa-ka-bhakt.’
Everything is about him or his mother. I have reached that stage too, though only by circumstances unavoidable.
‘Actually it was my mother who asked me to come here. I told her it would only work out if you understand that I will have to vacillate between the two cities initially. Jaise Sanjay ki Leela hai, waise meri Rekha.’
Corny dialogue, but worked. No one calls him by his first name, except perhaps his own mother. He is sir for everyone.
‘If I am speaking to you for so long means I like you,’ he said. ‘Otherwise, I would have asked you to leave long ago.’
Barely five minutes into the conversation, he asked me to return to his office and inform his team that I was going to be a part of his writer’s room.
I went back to his office and read a script. This is the part I cannot mention. His legal team sits in the adjacent room.
I flew to Calcutta and was to return after a week. I had to make arrangements for my mother’s tri-weekly dialysis sessions at a nearby hospital, figure out a tiffin-delivery service for her, find a house help (she sent four nurses scurrying in the past), all of which is a bit of a task in this retrograde city.
Remember the woman who had DM’d me about my tweets? She messaged. She had met SLB after my meeting. He said this about me: ‘What a wonderful find. That boy has so much potential and is talented. Most importantly, he is sensitive.’
I told her I’d get this engraved on my tombstone.
Like how he wants to take Alia Bhatt’s golchakkar in Dholida to his grave.
“It’s a shot that I will take to my grave. If there’s any shot that I want to be played when I breathe my last, it would be Alia doing that shot. It is the best thing I have seen an actor do in a very long, long time.”
I was only emulating the high priest of hyperbole in my tombstone comment. Perhaps I was regressing into a minion.
I had only managed a few tasks for mother when I was back in Bombay. It worried me that the old, frail woman with shaky limbs and slurred speech was trying to be brave to send me to work. I hadn’t worked since the pandemic; she was in and out of hospitals so frequently that I had surrendered the thought of getting another job ever again. Taking care of her was my full-time job.
The first day in his office was to chill in my new, aesthetically pleasing kurta I had shopped for in Gariahat. There was a security camera in every corner that was apparently accessible on his phone. My skin tingled with this information. Chilled. He was at home. Probably watching. That’s a great way to create a myth.
The next day, there were more minions on the lunch table in his first floor apartment. The magically appearing steamy and fragrant sheera was delicious. A minion deemed it the best sheera in the city. I nodded to make that statement evaporate.
A courier boy interrupted for a document signature. SLB flared at a spelling mistake in the document papers.
‘Go wash your face and come back,’ he yelled at the young man.
The minions at the table laughed nervously. I so wished I was wearing a mask to cover my surprise emoji face.
The minions on the table were writers and assistant directors.
‘Dastavez,’ SLB said, ‘would that be correct to use?’
‘Kaaghzaat,’ the minion replied.
‘Kaaghzaat is paper, dastavez is document,’ said the second minion.
‘You always mislead me,’ SLB sternly reprimanded the first minion. ‘Don’t ever do that again.’
Only that minion tried to laugh, offering an apology. He shut the minion down.
My mask, my mask emoji face.
A third minion was sulking in a corner before I arrived for the writing session. This minion had reportedly offered a script suggestion, which he disliked and barked down. I liked this minion the most. Relatable.
A faint noise of a person running or perhaps just a rumbling sound from somewhere outside interrupted the room. He looked up at the ceiling and said, ‘No one lives there. Am certain it is a ghost. I hear running sounds all the time. I have heard sounds of furniture being dragged.’
I wondered if he actually believed in half the things he uttered, or was he just saying it to create enigma about himself. Mythical thoughts certainly kept him preoccupied.
Reality bored him. SLB had nothing good to say about the ‘current plague’ of South Indian films upsetting the Bollywood cartel. He compared them to a circus. He wasn’t kind to the actors he had worked with in his last film. He cracked lame jokes about everyone and everything. The minions laughed and kept him busy. I chuckled a few times to blend in. The mythmaker revelled in his prophesies about the impending doom of charlatans with no aesthetics: just crass, commercial peddlers pimping art. It was all said to amuse and bemuse while he fussed over the yellow shade of fabric from several swatches.
When he left for his music session, the minions bitched him out, and how! All the horror stories I had heard over the years about his moods, behaviour, language and violent temper were true. How else will he create myth about himself as a maestro? The Glomar response. Let the plebs indulge in hearsay. I will neither confirm nor deny. The minions sang effigy songs in happy tunes, if I may stretch this part a bit like his penchant for high camp.
That night, when I went to my actor friend’s house, where I was temporarily staying, I said to him, ‘I don’t think I will last a week there.’
I was rattled by how he spoke to the courier boy and the minions, with no filter. Well, at least it was clear he had no tact, endearing as that might be of a ‘genius’ if one compromises with his erratic behaviour. The CEO of his company does it beautifully and advises to develop a ‘thick hide’ around him. Cows, essentially.
Verve
The words genius, great, master, maverick, were so loosely bandied by his office staff even in his absence that I was tempted to add auteur, if they could spell or pronounce it. They worked in perpetual fear of him turning up at any hour and checking on their tidiness. A minion whined she wasn’t dressed appropriately for his surprise visit. Once, he even cut pay for unscheduled leave, said another minion. A minion narrated a shot he copied from a photographer in Gangubai Kathiawadi. Another minion recounted how he made her cry on shoot by screaming at her for a silly mistake. Minions couldn’t leave the office till his evenings were scheduled. It was a well-paying job so long as they did not have to see ‘chacha’s’ face and only applaud his cinematic sorcery.
His office team would assign me desk-work and warn me not to inform him about it.
‘What am I supposed to say if he asks?’
‘Make up something,’ I was told.
‘Why should I?’
‘You will slowly understand,’ I was told.
His team of assistants would sneak around me. I didn’t know who was reporting what back to him. He would interrogate the management team. They would lash out at me for informing the assistants. The management wanted to control me a certain way because ‘sir’ does not need to know everything. It was quite a guessing game. He had created an ecosystem of complete chaos and loved the hubbub. New people were hired for him to use the ‘new energy’ to rekindle the ‘old energy’ that needed to be reminded it could be snuffed out and replaced. He thrived on confusion because it all boiled down to him to sort out the mess. He was the provider so long as the minions ingratiated and served their grand master.
One time he called me upstairs, what his CEO called the god’s chamber aka the Shahenshah’s durbar: his office on the seventh floor. Walls were lined with giant posters of his films. We minions sat on the fifth floor. I was of course by now a week old in the toady mill. On the seventh floor, production team members, set designer, director assistant, young people sat on the floor, armed with notebooks and laptops, alert and sugar-tongued. He sat on a throne and dictated each one about their duty. A masseur massaged his leg. He asked me what I thought of a script. I said it was lovely. He asked me to elaborate. I said I liked a character’s resolve. He denied it was written. I said that’s my interpretation. A minion promptly backed me.
‘What changes do you suggest?’ he asked.
‘We should sit on it collectively and decide,’ I said.
He mumbled something. My suggestion was dismissed. I was dismissed. I bowed out. A minion whispered to me, ‘We all walk on eggshells around him.’ I had to be a chicken in a coop I suppose.
Another time he dismissed my suggestion for a scene saying, ‘That’s not how art is made.’ I had referenced a scene from Bandit Queen to illustrate my point. Just like his entire oeuvre is homage to a classic. How else does he make his art?
Allow me to illustrate with a frame from his first film Khamoshi: The Musical. The second image is from Pakeezah.
Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam references Red Beard, Woh 7 Din.
Devdas references Pakeezah more than once.
Black references The Miracle Worker.
Saawariya references Pyaasa, Awaara.
Guzaarish references Whose Life Is It Anyway?
Goliyon Ki Raasleela: Ram-Leela references Franco Zeffirelli’s Romeo and Juliet, West Side Story.
Bajirao Mastani references Mughal-E-Azam.
Padmaavat references Mirch Masala.
Gangubai Kathiawadi, let’s give him the benefit of doubt is all his own, original artistry.
The American filmmaker Jim Jarmusch once meta quoted the French filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard when he said:
“Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is non-existent. And don’t bother concealing your thievery — celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: “It’s not where you take things from — it’s where you take them to.”
SLB believes he takes art and betters it, removing the grubby coat of slime from the sublime, often not concerned with acknowledging the source. He is a master’s master, elevating it to an otherworldly experience, the creator of a mythoverse.
He asked me to rewrite a scene I didn’t agree with. He banged the script folders on the table like a petulant, little child. I watched his posture change into a frump. Tiger Shroff’s ‘Bacchi ho kya,’ dialogue comes to mind.
‘You are talking like those critics who find fault but don’t know how to write. They should write the film,’ he said.
That argument will never make sense to me but since I write movies now and not just about them, I rewrote the scene in half an hour and showed it to him. He found it rubbish.
I was not called to the writer’s room for a week.
His CEO said I should go to his house; hang around him, like the other assistants whose only purpose in life is to feed his ego. We are slaves to his vision, she said. She thought I was a better writer than the team he had assembled. ‘From whatever I read, only three lines of your work on social media, I could sense it,’ she said.
Either she was encouraging, or bluffing with a perfectly Zen face. From the hundreds of Ganesh idols stacked in her room, it was clear she wasn’t a reader. She was good at reading numbers, data, and stats. She would sense a sign if one of the metal idols sucked milk from a spoon on the day she enquired about box –office figures.
There was more than one right-wing hardliner in his office. Secular staff was invisible. A pretty minion in baby pink t-shirt, whose main grouse was that another minion called him a Barbie doll, said he was happy with the Modi government building roads in his home state Bihar. Another minion countered him by asking: What about the persecution of minorities by the same government? The pretty minion said he didn’t care for that. He was assisting ‘sir’ because he wanted to be an actor. Which lead me to wonder how many Muslim actors has this production worked with? Silly of me to think, right? Given that I myself don’t use my Muslim surname. I’ve now successfully planted a myth in your head. That’s how it works.
In the time that I was in Versova during my brief stint at Bhansali Productions, I met several people with their own SLB horror story. A producer said, ‘He is a difficult man but life changes for good after you work with him. Some people want to go through hell first. Life bann jaati hai.’ I didn’t understand why purgatory was necessary. Another former assistant said, ‘When you work with the worst (SLB) and the best (KJO), you are ready for the rest.’
A young woman gave him a thesis she wrote on his films. He asked her to write a book on her. She said she wanted to assist as a director. She never heard from him. A filmmaker said SLB was too friendly with another assistant, suggesting intimacy. A writer wasn’t given credit in a film.
Another writer was promised his script will be turned into a film but it never took off and now he feels his life has been ruined. A young filmmaker’s debut movie SLB produced was delayed, not promoted, and called ‘kachra’ to his face.
The young man said SLB is sexist, homophobe, classist, fat shamer, emotional abuser, and a body shamer. “He is a joyless pit of darkness where happiness goes to die. And those are the nicest words I can think of to describe him,” he said. Another filmmaker said a choreographer was in a relationship with SLB and wanted to marry him but he wouldn’t even touch her, a hotly discussed conversation amongst his minions.
Everything sounds hokum. A successful man is likely to upset a few. The few will talk. Their words may ring true through a gossamer veil of implausibility. Myths magnifying his persona.
There are too many myths about his personal life, aroused by his silence on the subject but all too obvious in his work. When people want to confirm with me, I am equally appalled at their lack of aesthetics. Like the great reader of curtains, Edgar Allan Poe, you only have to look at SLB’s use of billowy curtains in films to guess.
Hope you get the drift, or draft, hawa ka jhonka! By the way, am digressing now, is the weirdly named character Sameer Rosselline in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam the first mainstream Hindi film hero to pass wind? The ruffled curtains are first to be cautioned though.
Unlike most people willing to swallow their pride to work with SLB, few like the eponymous Gangubai character choose izzat. The house-help employed in my actor friend’s house was asked to work as a cook in his house. When she heard the whimsy, dessert-craving demands, she declined the offer. I identify with her no-nonsense style.
In November 2021, a filmmaker read a film script I wrote and said, ‘This is SLB territory. Only he can make it. It is the modern love-story he has been wanting to make for a long time.’
‘Are you sure?’ I asked, somewhat flattered but also bewildered.
‘Yes, we just have to change the setting from Calcutta-Bombay to Calcutta-New York. It is what he has been trying to crack. I’ll get him to read it.’
I never spoke to SLB about my script. I did not want to look like a schemer. I had only got a chance because of my mother’s story. I had come to write courtesan songs. Hindi films are recognised by their songs. His films have show tunes that live on long after the sequins and mirrors reflect a decadent style. He employs the old-fashioned method of making Hindi films, which is to stitch scenes around a song, not the other way round. And when you glean your references from the best of classical melodies, how can you falter?
My own SLB story is that after watching Saawariya in 2007, I wrote a few songs, moved to Bombay, lived in Versova, close to Magnum Opus, and hoped to meet him, but made no effort even though I came in close contact with people who worked directly with him. I never requested for a meeting. Over the years, I too had heard a few horror stories about him. I only believe in what I see. I waited when he would call for me, my work would have to speak for itself.
A day before Good Friday, his CEO sat me down and said it’s not working out.
There’s a mythical story of how Lata Mangeshkar was on her way to record a song for SLB but the heavens poured and she had to turn her car back. A typical SLB frame of hope and hopelessness.
Never work with your idols. You’ll have a better story to imagine and create myths.
I was so relieved to leave. I hadn’t got a moment to read, or write, let alone think since I got here. Why I wanted to work with SLB was to not believe in hearsay. I will either confirm or deny.
‘Great,’ I said, ‘everyone deserves an off on Good Friday.’
The office was unsure about public holidays. SLB’s mood dictated the calendar.
Before returning to Calcutta, I met a friend entrenched in the film business.
When she heard of the fiasco, she said, ‘I’ve heard he is very anal, is he?’
The vibrator jokes never stop.
submitted by Gossip-Luv2 to BollyBlindsNGossip [link] [comments]
Context - Wiped out from Internet
In March, I got a chance to work with filmmaker Sanjay Leela Bhansali right after he made Gangubai Kathiawadi, and Alia Bhatt, playing the titular character in the film, retweeted me.
The headline (in my head) was going to be, ‘The Boy From Kamathipura Goes To Bhansali Mandi.’
Then reality struck in April.
One of my closest friends Sweta called me from the Shivapuri National Park near Kathmandu and put me on speaker. Two other friends Mona and Ayush were listening to the WhatsApp call.
‘How’s it going with Bhansu?’ Sweta asked.
‘We are not working together anymore,’ I said.
‘Whaaaaaaaat?’ the three people shrieked, creating a wavy disturbance in audio frequency.
‘Whyyyyy?’ they cried, collectively anguished.
‘He said he is not feeling the vibes.’
‘What?’
‘Vibes,’ I said aloud, causing a seismic tremor in the audio frequency.
‘What vibes?’ Sweta jibed, ‘Maybe he can’t feel the vibrator.’
Laughter upped the vibes.
First, a little context on how I got that far. Check this, this, this & this.
So my tweets were going viral in February-March.
In the second week of March, a woman DM’d me saying she loves the tweets. I said thank you. She said she works at Bhansali Productions.
Whoopsie Daisy!
I asked if I could be a part of the production. She checked with SLB and team. He said he wants to meet now.
NOW!
How?
I was in Calcutta.
I called an actor friend in Bombay and told him about it.
“They will book your tickets and put you up in 5-star,” he said, “Like Hollywood.”
“This is Bhansaliwood,” I said, “Yahan dhanda hamesha manda hai.”
I flew (on my own expense) and met him.
I was ‘prepared’ by his team for the meeting with His High and Mightiness.
I was told:
Arre, then what do I say?
I sashayed in a brown kurta and white linen trousers. Please see Madhuri Dixit-Nene’s brown ghagra for aesthetic reference I used from my very limited wardrobe of the only kurta I had at the time. By the way, the chorus sings ‘Jhanak Jhanak Payal Baaje,’ aesthetically referencing you know what, right?
He was lunching with his minions (strictly calling them minions from his pov) when I arrived in his pristine white dining hall in a building called Magnum Opus. Where else should he reside, no? Both his house, and his office (where I was ‘prepared’ earlier) were tastefully done in creamy white.
It was, as I said to my friend later, like walking into a cumulus cloud, or like sitting on his favourite singer Lata Mangeshkar’s lap. Calm, serene and quite surreal. I was inside his snow globe. Violins from a Bach concerto (in my head) were replaced with say Madan Mohan’s doleful rendition of ‘Mai ri main ka se kahoon peedh apne jiya ki.’ (Side effect of writing this on Mother’s Day.)
I look for books when I enter a house for signs of intelligent life. There were lots of lamps and candelabras but where were the stacks of books they were perched on? The aesthetic was high on film set disposable kitsch. I stared into a cumulative void.
The minions were intensely debating Darjeeling momos. What’s that? I spent my childhood there. Never heard of this GI tag!
SLB relished his meal and said, “I want puranpoli today.”
Puranpoli appeared not out of thin air, but a house-help flipping wishes instantly on a griddle on the fifth floor. We were on the first floor. Although the puranpoli is shaped like a flying saucer, it doesn’t fly, perhaps burdened by the weight of excess ghee and crowd-pleasing expectation. It does, however, reach SLB’s plate at the speed of light.
‘Give him some,’ he asked a minion to serve me while I waited on the sofa.
‘I’ve had lunch, thank you,’ I said, trying to behave. The plate arrived. I took a mousy bite to exhibit my failing attempt to transform into a champion minion.
When he came to chat, he noticed the unfinished food and gently reminded me how there were days he went hungry. I should have rolled my eyes for my own lean days.
‘One should not waste food,’ he said.
‘I don’t,’ I said, ‘I was going to parcel it home in a doggy bag.’
Hearing the word doggy, his well-behaved dog came over to inspect me.
He observed me. I petted her perfunctorily. Am a cat person. Stereotypical writer stuff — allergic to undesired petting and attention.
‘So, what have you done?’ he asked, sitting on a sort of empire-style bergere chair. Full marks for faux-ornate.
‘A novel, some writing for a series,’ I said nervously, dismissively.
‘Anything I might have seen?’ he asked.
‘No, not worthwhile.’
‘Are you interested in direction also?’
‘No, am not delusional.’
A moment passed. I might have displayed an errant repartee.
‘I mean, I can only write, or am trying to,’ I said. L’esprit de l’escalier.
He gave me a spiel on writing, how screenplay is an art not many understand, etc, et cetera.
I nodded to make his voice disappear.
‘What are you writing now?’
I showed him the cover of my new book, The Last Courtesan, featuring my mother, on my phone.
‘Oh, this is so fascinating,’ he said.
He spoke rapturously about Calcutta’s great food and colonial architecture when I mentioned growing up in Bowbazar kothas. If you watch any of his interviews now on YouTube you will realise he only speaks in raptures. He’s always explaining things like an impassioned conductor at a dime-store opera. It can exhaust the boorish audience immediately. He spoke about living in the Kamathipura area as a child when I said I had lived there. The mythmaker was interested in exoticising his own legend as an ‘outsider’.
‘But how will you work here if your mother is in Calcutta?’ he said, ‘I am a maa-ka-bhakt.’
Everything is about him or his mother. I have reached that stage too, though only by circumstances unavoidable.
‘Actually it was my mother who asked me to come here. I told her it would only work out if you understand that I will have to vacillate between the two cities initially. Jaise Sanjay ki Leela hai, waise meri Rekha.’
Corny dialogue, but worked. No one calls him by his first name, except perhaps his own mother. He is sir for everyone.
‘If I am speaking to you for so long means I like you,’ he said. ‘Otherwise, I would have asked you to leave long ago.’
Barely five minutes into the conversation, he asked me to return to his office and inform his team that I was going to be a part of his writer’s room.
I went back to his office and read a script. This is the part I cannot mention. His legal team sits in the adjacent room.
I flew to Calcutta and was to return after a week. I had to make arrangements for my mother’s tri-weekly dialysis sessions at a nearby hospital, figure out a tiffin-delivery service for her, find a house help (she sent four nurses scurrying in the past), all of which is a bit of a task in this retrograde city.
Remember the woman who had DM’d me about my tweets? She messaged. She had met SLB after my meeting. He said this about me: ‘What a wonderful find. That boy has so much potential and is talented. Most importantly, he is sensitive.’
I told her I’d get this engraved on my tombstone.
Like how he wants to take Alia Bhatt’s golchakkar in Dholida to his grave.
“It’s a shot that I will take to my grave. If there’s any shot that I want to be played when I breathe my last, it would be Alia doing that shot. It is the best thing I have seen an actor do in a very long, long time.”
I was only emulating the high priest of hyperbole in my tombstone comment. Perhaps I was regressing into a minion.
I had only managed a few tasks for mother when I was back in Bombay. It worried me that the old, frail woman with shaky limbs and slurred speech was trying to be brave to send me to work. I hadn’t worked since the pandemic; she was in and out of hospitals so frequently that I had surrendered the thought of getting another job ever again. Taking care of her was my full-time job.
The first day in his office was to chill in my new, aesthetically pleasing kurta I had shopped for in Gariahat. There was a security camera in every corner that was apparently accessible on his phone. My skin tingled with this information. Chilled. He was at home. Probably watching. That’s a great way to create a myth.
The next day, there were more minions on the lunch table in his first floor apartment. The magically appearing steamy and fragrant sheera was delicious. A minion deemed it the best sheera in the city. I nodded to make that statement evaporate.
A courier boy interrupted for a document signature. SLB flared at a spelling mistake in the document papers.
‘Go wash your face and come back,’ he yelled at the young man.
The minions at the table laughed nervously. I so wished I was wearing a mask to cover my surprise emoji face.
The minions on the table were writers and assistant directors.
‘Dastavez,’ SLB said, ‘would that be correct to use?’
‘Kaaghzaat,’ the minion replied.
‘Kaaghzaat is paper, dastavez is document,’ said the second minion.
‘You always mislead me,’ SLB sternly reprimanded the first minion. ‘Don’t ever do that again.’
Only that minion tried to laugh, offering an apology. He shut the minion down.
My mask, my mask emoji face.
A third minion was sulking in a corner before I arrived for the writing session. This minion had reportedly offered a script suggestion, which he disliked and barked down. I liked this minion the most. Relatable.
A faint noise of a person running or perhaps just a rumbling sound from somewhere outside interrupted the room. He looked up at the ceiling and said, ‘No one lives there. Am certain it is a ghost. I hear running sounds all the time. I have heard sounds of furniture being dragged.’
I wondered if he actually believed in half the things he uttered, or was he just saying it to create enigma about himself. Mythical thoughts certainly kept him preoccupied.
Reality bored him. SLB had nothing good to say about the ‘current plague’ of South Indian films upsetting the Bollywood cartel. He compared them to a circus. He wasn’t kind to the actors he had worked with in his last film. He cracked lame jokes about everyone and everything. The minions laughed and kept him busy. I chuckled a few times to blend in. The mythmaker revelled in his prophesies about the impending doom of charlatans with no aesthetics: just crass, commercial peddlers pimping art. It was all said to amuse and bemuse while he fussed over the yellow shade of fabric from several swatches.
When he left for his music session, the minions bitched him out, and how! All the horror stories I had heard over the years about his moods, behaviour, language and violent temper were true. How else will he create myth about himself as a maestro? The Glomar response. Let the plebs indulge in hearsay. I will neither confirm nor deny. The minions sang effigy songs in happy tunes, if I may stretch this part a bit like his penchant for high camp.
That night, when I went to my actor friend’s house, where I was temporarily staying, I said to him, ‘I don’t think I will last a week there.’
I was rattled by how he spoke to the courier boy and the minions, with no filter. Well, at least it was clear he had no tact, endearing as that might be of a ‘genius’ if one compromises with his erratic behaviour. The CEO of his company does it beautifully and advises to develop a ‘thick hide’ around him. Cows, essentially.
Verve
The words genius, great, master, maverick, were so loosely bandied by his office staff even in his absence that I was tempted to add auteur, if they could spell or pronounce it. They worked in perpetual fear of him turning up at any hour and checking on their tidiness. A minion whined she wasn’t dressed appropriately for his surprise visit. Once, he even cut pay for unscheduled leave, said another minion. A minion narrated a shot he copied from a photographer in Gangubai Kathiawadi. Another minion recounted how he made her cry on shoot by screaming at her for a silly mistake. Minions couldn’t leave the office till his evenings were scheduled. It was a well-paying job so long as they did not have to see ‘chacha’s’ face and only applaud his cinematic sorcery.
His office team would assign me desk-work and warn me not to inform him about it.
‘What am I supposed to say if he asks?’
‘Make up something,’ I was told.
‘Why should I?’
‘You will slowly understand,’ I was told.
His team of assistants would sneak around me. I didn’t know who was reporting what back to him. He would interrogate the management team. They would lash out at me for informing the assistants. The management wanted to control me a certain way because ‘sir’ does not need to know everything. It was quite a guessing game. He had created an ecosystem of complete chaos and loved the hubbub. New people were hired for him to use the ‘new energy’ to rekindle the ‘old energy’ that needed to be reminded it could be snuffed out and replaced. He thrived on confusion because it all boiled down to him to sort out the mess. He was the provider so long as the minions ingratiated and served their grand master.
One time he called me upstairs, what his CEO called the god’s chamber aka the Shahenshah’s durbar: his office on the seventh floor. Walls were lined with giant posters of his films. We minions sat on the fifth floor. I was of course by now a week old in the toady mill. On the seventh floor, production team members, set designer, director assistant, young people sat on the floor, armed with notebooks and laptops, alert and sugar-tongued. He sat on a throne and dictated each one about their duty. A masseur massaged his leg. He asked me what I thought of a script. I said it was lovely. He asked me to elaborate. I said I liked a character’s resolve. He denied it was written. I said that’s my interpretation. A minion promptly backed me.
‘What changes do you suggest?’ he asked.
‘We should sit on it collectively and decide,’ I said.
He mumbled something. My suggestion was dismissed. I was dismissed. I bowed out. A minion whispered to me, ‘We all walk on eggshells around him.’ I had to be a chicken in a coop I suppose.
Another time he dismissed my suggestion for a scene saying, ‘That’s not how art is made.’ I had referenced a scene from Bandit Queen to illustrate my point. Just like his entire oeuvre is homage to a classic. How else does he make his art?
Allow me to illustrate with a frame from his first film Khamoshi: The Musical. The second image is from Pakeezah.
Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam references Red Beard, Woh 7 Din.
Devdas references Pakeezah more than once.
Black references The Miracle Worker.
Saawariya references Pyaasa, Awaara.
Guzaarish references Whose Life Is It Anyway?
Goliyon Ki Raasleela: Ram-Leela references Franco Zeffirelli’s Romeo and Juliet, West Side Story.
Bajirao Mastani references Mughal-E-Azam.
Padmaavat references Mirch Masala.
Gangubai Kathiawadi, let’s give him the benefit of doubt is all his own, original artistry.
The American filmmaker Jim Jarmusch once meta quoted the French filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard when he said:
“Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is non-existent. And don’t bother concealing your thievery — celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: “It’s not where you take things from — it’s where you take them to.”
SLB believes he takes art and betters it, removing the grubby coat of slime from the sublime, often not concerned with acknowledging the source. He is a master’s master, elevating it to an otherworldly experience, the creator of a mythoverse.
He asked me to rewrite a scene I didn’t agree with. He banged the script folders on the table like a petulant, little child. I watched his posture change into a frump. Tiger Shroff’s ‘Bacchi ho kya,’ dialogue comes to mind.
‘You are talking like those critics who find fault but don’t know how to write. They should write the film,’ he said.
That argument will never make sense to me but since I write movies now and not just about them, I rewrote the scene in half an hour and showed it to him. He found it rubbish.
I was not called to the writer’s room for a week.
His CEO said I should go to his house; hang around him, like the other assistants whose only purpose in life is to feed his ego. We are slaves to his vision, she said. She thought I was a better writer than the team he had assembled. ‘From whatever I read, only three lines of your work on social media, I could sense it,’ she said.
Either she was encouraging, or bluffing with a perfectly Zen face. From the hundreds of Ganesh idols stacked in her room, it was clear she wasn’t a reader. She was good at reading numbers, data, and stats. She would sense a sign if one of the metal idols sucked milk from a spoon on the day she enquired about box –office figures.
There was more than one right-wing hardliner in his office. Secular staff was invisible. A pretty minion in baby pink t-shirt, whose main grouse was that another minion called him a Barbie doll, said he was happy with the Modi government building roads in his home state Bihar. Another minion countered him by asking: What about the persecution of minorities by the same government? The pretty minion said he didn’t care for that. He was assisting ‘sir’ because he wanted to be an actor. Which lead me to wonder how many Muslim actors has this production worked with? Silly of me to think, right? Given that I myself don’t use my Muslim surname. I’ve now successfully planted a myth in your head. That’s how it works.
In the time that I was in Versova during my brief stint at Bhansali Productions, I met several people with their own SLB horror story. A producer said, ‘He is a difficult man but life changes for good after you work with him. Some people want to go through hell first. Life bann jaati hai.’ I didn’t understand why purgatory was necessary. Another former assistant said, ‘When you work with the worst (SLB) and the best (KJO), you are ready for the rest.’
A young woman gave him a thesis she wrote on his films. He asked her to write a book on her. She said she wanted to assist as a director. She never heard from him. A filmmaker said SLB was too friendly with another assistant, suggesting intimacy. A writer wasn’t given credit in a film.
Another writer was promised his script will be turned into a film but it never took off and now he feels his life has been ruined. A young filmmaker’s debut movie SLB produced was delayed, not promoted, and called ‘kachra’ to his face.
The young man said SLB is sexist, homophobe, classist, fat shamer, emotional abuser, and a body shamer. “He is a joyless pit of darkness where happiness goes to die. And those are the nicest words I can think of to describe him,” he said. Another filmmaker said a choreographer was in a relationship with SLB and wanted to marry him but he wouldn’t even touch her, a hotly discussed conversation amongst his minions.
Everything sounds hokum. A successful man is likely to upset a few. The few will talk. Their words may ring true through a gossamer veil of implausibility. Myths magnifying his persona.
There are too many myths about his personal life, aroused by his silence on the subject but all too obvious in his work. When people want to confirm with me, I am equally appalled at their lack of aesthetics. Like the great reader of curtains, Edgar Allan Poe, you only have to look at SLB’s use of billowy curtains in films to guess.
Above stanza, courtesy Poe, poem: The Raven.
Hope you get the drift, or draft, hawa ka jhonka! By the way, am digressing now, is the weirdly named character Sameer Rosselline in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam the first mainstream Hindi film hero to pass wind? The ruffled curtains are first to be cautioned though.
Unlike most people willing to swallow their pride to work with SLB, few like the eponymous Gangubai character choose izzat. The house-help employed in my actor friend’s house was asked to work as a cook in his house. When she heard the whimsy, dessert-craving demands, she declined the offer. I identify with her no-nonsense style.
In November 2021, a filmmaker read a film script I wrote and said, ‘This is SLB territory. Only he can make it. It is the modern love-story he has been wanting to make for a long time.’
‘Are you sure?’ I asked, somewhat flattered but also bewildered.
‘Yes, we just have to change the setting from Calcutta-Bombay to Calcutta-New York. It is what he has been trying to crack. I’ll get him to read it.’
I never spoke to SLB about my script. I did not want to look like a schemer. I had only got a chance because of my mother’s story. I had come to write courtesan songs. Hindi films are recognised by their songs. His films have show tunes that live on long after the sequins and mirrors reflect a decadent style. He employs the old-fashioned method of making Hindi films, which is to stitch scenes around a song, not the other way round. And when you glean your references from the best of classical melodies, how can you falter?
My own SLB story is that after watching Saawariya in 2007, I wrote a few songs, moved to Bombay, lived in Versova, close to Magnum Opus, and hoped to meet him, but made no effort even though I came in close contact with people who worked directly with him. I never requested for a meeting. Over the years, I too had heard a few horror stories about him. I only believe in what I see. I waited when he would call for me, my work would have to speak for itself.
A day before Good Friday, his CEO sat me down and said it’s not working out.
There’s a mythical story of how Lata Mangeshkar was on her way to record a song for SLB but the heavens poured and she had to turn her car back. A typical SLB frame of hope and hopelessness.
Never work with your idols. You’ll have a better story to imagine and create myths.
I was so relieved to leave. I hadn’t got a moment to read, or write, let alone think since I got here. Why I wanted to work with SLB was to not believe in hearsay. I will either confirm or deny.
‘Great,’ I said, ‘everyone deserves an off on Good Friday.’
The office was unsure about public holidays. SLB’s mood dictated the calendar.
Before returning to Calcutta, I met a friend entrenched in the film business.
When she heard of the fiasco, she said, ‘I’ve heard he is very anal, is he?’
The vibrator jokes never stop.
2024.05.21 23:59 tempmailgenerator Integrating Outlook Emails into Azure SQL Database
Outlook to Azure: Bridging Emails with Databases
Email management and data organization are critical aspects of modern business operations, necessitating innovative solutions for efficient information handling. As businesses increasingly rely on Microsoft Outlook for email communication, the need to seamlessly integrate these emails into a structured database for better tracking, analysis, and retrieval becomes paramount. This integration not only enhances data accessibility but also streamlines workflows, allowing for more effective decision-making processes. By linking Outlook emails directly to a Microsoft Azure SQL database, companies can leverage the power of cloud computing to store, organize, and analyze email data in real time.This integration is particularly useful for organizations looking to enhance their customer relationship management (CRM) systems, automate service ticket generation, or simply maintain a comprehensive archive of all email correspondences in a secure, searchable database. The process involves configuring Outlook and Azure SQL database to communicate efficiently, ensuring data integrity and security are maintained at all times. The resulting system not only boosts productivity but also provides a scalable solution to email management challenges, paving the way for more advanced data analytics and business intelligence capabilities.
| Command | Description |
|---|---|
| CREATE TABLE | SQL command to create a new table in the database. |
| INSERT INTO | SQL command to insert new data into a table. |
| SELECT | SQL command to select data from a table. |
Email Integration Techniques with Azure SQL
Integrating emails from Outlook into an Azure SQL database requires a comprehensive approach that involves several steps, starting from the extraction of email data to its storage and management within the database. This process is not just about moving data; it's about transforming the unstructured format of emails into a structured format that can be easily queried and analyzed. The first part of this integration involves setting up an automated process that can fetch emails from Outlook, either through Microsoft Graph API or Outlook REST API. These APIs provide a way to access Outlook mailboxes programmatically, allowing developers to read emails, and extract relevant information such as the sender, recipient, subject, body, and attachments.Once the email data is fetched, the next step involves parsing and structuring this data to fit into the schema of the Azure SQL database. This may require data transformation processes to ensure that the email data conforms to the database schema, including converting email formats, extracting text from attachments, and more. Storing emails in a SQL database allows for advanced data manipulation, such as querying for specific emails, analyzing email trends, and even integrating with other data sources for comprehensive insights. Furthermore, integrating Outlook emails with Azure SQL opens up possibilities for leveraging SQL-based tools and technologies for data analysis, reporting, and visualization, providing a powerful platform for business intelligence and data-driven decision-making.
Setting Up the Email Archive Table in Azure SQL
SQL UsageInserting an Email Record into Azure SQL Database
SQL UsageRetrieving Emails Related to a Specific Subject
SQL UsageAdvancing Email Management with Azure SQL
The journey of integrating Outlook emails into an Azure SQL database marks a pivotal advancement in email management and data analysis. This process involves not just the direct transfer of emails but also their transformation into a structured, queryable format within the database. The significance of this lies in the vast potential for automation, data retention, and compliance with data protection regulations. By automating the extraction of email data, organizations can ensure a consistent and efficient process, free from manual errors and delays. Moreover, this integration facilitates advanced data analysis techniques, allowing businesses to gain insights from their email communications, such as identifying trends, monitoring for compliance, and improving customer engagement strategies.Furthermore, the integration of Outlook emails with Azure SQL Database enhances data security and compliance with various regulatory standards. Azure SQL Database provides robust security features, including data encryption, access control, and audit capabilities, ensuring that email data is stored securely and access is strictly controlled. This is particularly important for organizations that handle sensitive information, as it helps them comply with data protection regulations such as GDPR. In addition, the ability to archive emails in a structured database supports long-term data retention policies, enabling organizations to retrieve and analyze historical email data whenever necessary. Overall, integrating Outlook emails into Azure SQL Database offers a comprehensive solution for managing email data more effectively, securely, and in compliance with legal requirements.
Email and Database Integration FAQs
- Question: Can any email client be integrated with Azure SQL Database?
- Answer: While this guide focuses on Outlook, the principles can be applied to other email clients that support API access, with adjustments for specific API capabilities and data structures.
- Question: Is programming knowledge required for integrating Outlook emails with Azure SQL Database?
- Answer: Basic programming knowledge, particularly in SQL and potentially a scripting language like Python for API interaction, is beneficial for setting up and customizing the integration process.
- Question: How secure is the data when transferred from Outlook to Azure SQL Database?
- Answer: The integration can be highly secure, utilizing Azure's built-in security features such as encryption in transit and at rest, along with secure authentication methods for accessing APIs.
- Question: Can the integration process handle large volumes of emails?
- Answer: Yes, Azure SQL Database is scalable to handle large volumes of data, but careful planning and potentially batching of data may be necessary for large-scale email archives.
- Question: How can I ensure compliance with data protection regulations when integrating emails?
- Answer: Leveraging Azure SQL's security and compliance features, including data encryption and access controls, and ensuring the process adheres to applicable laws and regulations is crucial.
- Question: Can I search and query the email data once it's in Azure SQL Database?
- Answer: Absolutely, that's one of the key benefits. SQL queries can be used to search, filter, and analyze the email data stored in the database.
- Question: What happens to the attachments in the emails?
- Answer: Attachments can be stored in Azure Blob Storage, and a reference to them can be kept in the Azure SQL Database for integrated management.
- Question: Is it possible to automate the integration process?
- Answer: Yes, automation scripts or Azure functions can be used to regularly fetch, transform, and store email data in Azure SQL Database.
- Question: How do I handle updates or deletions of emails in Outlook in the Azure SQL Database?
- Answer: The integration logic can include processes to check for updates or deletions in Outlook and reflect these changes in the database accordingly.
Empowering Data Management with Email Integration
The integration of Outlook emails with Azure SQL Database is a significant leap forward in managing and analyzing email data. This synergy between email communications and database technology enables organizations to streamline their operations, enhance decision-making, and maintain high standards of data security and compliance. By converting emails into a structured format within a scalable database, businesses can unlock valuable insights, improve customer engagement, and optimize their workflow processes. Furthermore, the process underscores the importance of leveraging cloud computing and database technologies to address the challenges of modern data management. As we move forward, the ability to seamlessly integrate and analyze email data within Azure SQL Database will become increasingly crucial for organizations seeking to gain a competitive edge and harness the full potential of their data assets.https://www.tempmail.us.com/en/outlook/integrating-outlook-emails-into-azure-sql-database
2024.05.21 23:58 DragonKnov Kunlun Sect's Weakest Disciple: Chapter 22
[📖First ⏮️Previous Next⏭️]
‘Song Jia...’ Ji Wuye murmured inwardly, a train of thoughts racing through his mind.
"Hehehe..." Song Jia's airy laugh echoed through the abandoned courtyard as she sauntered in, her lithe figure swaying gracefully. Bending at the waist, she inspected the overgrown surroundings with curious eyes, plump lips curling into an impish smile.
The sound of her voice instantly put Ji Wuye on alert.
He swiftly schooled his features into a mask of pleasant surprise, but inwardly her abrupt presence sent a tendril of unease slithering down his spine.
Squinting against the dappled sunlight filtering through the canopy, he scratched his tousled white locks and flashed a disingenuous grin. "Ah! Sister Song, it's...rather unexpected to find you wandering these abandoned grounds."
As Ji Wuye's words hung in the heavy silence, Song Jia suddenly appeared before him, invading his personal space.
Her delicate brows furrowed as piercing luminous irises bored into his, leaving him momentarily wrong-footed by her intense scrutiny. A subtle floral fragrance wafted from her, contrasting with the earthy scents of crushed foliage and damp soil surrounding them.
Song Jia's frown deepened, plump lips pursing in dissatisfaction at his awkward responses. After a tense pause, she exploded into movement. Her slender fist lanced towards Ji Wuye's chiseled face in a lightning-fast strike.
WHOOSH-!
Her knuckles halted a hairsbreadth from his straight nose. Despite the suddenness of the attack, Ji Wuye's nonchalant smile evaporated as his body thrummed with coiled tension.
His crimson gaze sharpened to piercing clarity, shoulders squaring as calloused palms twitched in readiness to deflect the incoming blow.
From Song Jia's perspective, the handsome youth's unassuming facade shattered, replaced by a magnificent, dignified aura of quiet strength that radiated potent power.
"Hmm...now that's more like it!" she purred approvingly, withdrawing her fist. An impish grin played about her full lips as she sashayed away, eyes roving over the scattered logs and boulders littering the courtyard.
Ji Wuye's shoulders slumped as he exhaled a resigned sigh. 'What's gotten into her this time?'
Now exposed, he dropped the pretense, features settling into a mask of mild annoyance. Planting himself squarely before Song Jia to impede her exploration, he demanded, "You haven't answered my question. Why are you here?"
His blunt words held an edge of barely restrained irritation at this unwelcome interruption to his training regimen.
"My my, Brother Ji..." Song Jia tsked in mock reproach, deftly circling around the obstruction he presented with effortless, almost dancinglike movements. "Is this the real, unvarnished you beneath that polite facade? I can scarcely believe all the other Sisters have failed to glimpse this intriguing, roguish side!"
Her teasing lilt contrasted with the solemn weight of her luminous gaze, which remained cautiously trained upon him even as she squatted to inspect a massive, moss-covered boulder.
"Woah..." she murmured in amazed appreciation, trailing slender fingertips over the craggy stone surface. "This is enormous! Don't tell me you've been training with something this size?"
Resigning himself to her intrusive presence for now, Ji Wuye retreated to the deck edging the courtyard's living quarters and settled cross-legged upon the weathered planks with a weary sigh. His crimson eyes openly studied Song Jia's lithe, muscular form as she crouched mere paces away.
For all her seeming delicacy, the sleek curves of the seventeen-year-old's figure hinted at the taut strength coiled beneath her form-fitting martial robe, a byproduct of constant rigorous training.
An undeniable beauty, yet her luminous gaze remained shrewdly guarded, at odds with her outward nonchalance as she focused on her surroundings.
The same wariness he had sensed the first time they met in the previous timeline, when her transcendent skills rendered him little more than an awed spectator...
'Back then, she was already so tremendously powerful that I could only watch from behind,' Ji Wuye reflected with a quiet, inward murmur.
Shaking off the nostalgic reverie, his brow furrowed as he refocused on the puzzling matter at hand. 'But why is she really here, in this remote, disused courtyard?'
Though he couldn't precisely recall details from the previous timeline, a vague recollection surfaced that Song Jia had become something of a famous among the Outer Disciples after her prodigious talents were unveiled.
An insatiable appetite for challenging others and constant training leaving a trail of defeated geniuses in her wake...
This secluded area, isolated from the bustling male and female disciple quarters, was abandoned for good reason. So what had drawn her formidable presence here today?
As Ji Wuye's thoughts chased themselves in fruitless circles, Song Jia abruptly paused and shifted her piercing gaze regard back towards him, seeming satisfied by whatever she had discerned.
Straightening fluidly from her crouch, she fixed him with a imperious look and issued a simple challenge:
"Let's spar...Brother Ji."
[📖First ⏮️Previous Next⏭️]
submitted by DragonKnov to HFY [link] [comments]
‘Song Jia...’ Ji Wuye murmured inwardly, a train of thoughts racing through his mind.
"Hehehe..." Song Jia's airy laugh echoed through the abandoned courtyard as she sauntered in, her lithe figure swaying gracefully. Bending at the waist, she inspected the overgrown surroundings with curious eyes, plump lips curling into an impish smile.
The sound of her voice instantly put Ji Wuye on alert.
He swiftly schooled his features into a mask of pleasant surprise, but inwardly her abrupt presence sent a tendril of unease slithering down his spine.
Squinting against the dappled sunlight filtering through the canopy, he scratched his tousled white locks and flashed a disingenuous grin. "Ah! Sister Song, it's...rather unexpected to find you wandering these abandoned grounds."
As Ji Wuye's words hung in the heavy silence, Song Jia suddenly appeared before him, invading his personal space.
Her delicate brows furrowed as piercing luminous irises bored into his, leaving him momentarily wrong-footed by her intense scrutiny. A subtle floral fragrance wafted from her, contrasting with the earthy scents of crushed foliage and damp soil surrounding them.
Song Jia's frown deepened, plump lips pursing in dissatisfaction at his awkward responses. After a tense pause, she exploded into movement. Her slender fist lanced towards Ji Wuye's chiseled face in a lightning-fast strike.
WHOOSH-!
Her knuckles halted a hairsbreadth from his straight nose. Despite the suddenness of the attack, Ji Wuye's nonchalant smile evaporated as his body thrummed with coiled tension.
His crimson gaze sharpened to piercing clarity, shoulders squaring as calloused palms twitched in readiness to deflect the incoming blow.
From Song Jia's perspective, the handsome youth's unassuming facade shattered, replaced by a magnificent, dignified aura of quiet strength that radiated potent power.
"Hmm...now that's more like it!" she purred approvingly, withdrawing her fist. An impish grin played about her full lips as she sashayed away, eyes roving over the scattered logs and boulders littering the courtyard.
Ji Wuye's shoulders slumped as he exhaled a resigned sigh. 'What's gotten into her this time?'
Now exposed, he dropped the pretense, features settling into a mask of mild annoyance. Planting himself squarely before Song Jia to impede her exploration, he demanded, "You haven't answered my question. Why are you here?"
His blunt words held an edge of barely restrained irritation at this unwelcome interruption to his training regimen.
"My my, Brother Ji..." Song Jia tsked in mock reproach, deftly circling around the obstruction he presented with effortless, almost dancinglike movements. "Is this the real, unvarnished you beneath that polite facade? I can scarcely believe all the other Sisters have failed to glimpse this intriguing, roguish side!"
Her teasing lilt contrasted with the solemn weight of her luminous gaze, which remained cautiously trained upon him even as she squatted to inspect a massive, moss-covered boulder.
"Woah..." she murmured in amazed appreciation, trailing slender fingertips over the craggy stone surface. "This is enormous! Don't tell me you've been training with something this size?"
Resigning himself to her intrusive presence for now, Ji Wuye retreated to the deck edging the courtyard's living quarters and settled cross-legged upon the weathered planks with a weary sigh. His crimson eyes openly studied Song Jia's lithe, muscular form as she crouched mere paces away.
For all her seeming delicacy, the sleek curves of the seventeen-year-old's figure hinted at the taut strength coiled beneath her form-fitting martial robe, a byproduct of constant rigorous training.
An undeniable beauty, yet her luminous gaze remained shrewdly guarded, at odds with her outward nonchalance as she focused on her surroundings.
The same wariness he had sensed the first time they met in the previous timeline, when her transcendent skills rendered him little more than an awed spectator...
'Back then, she was already so tremendously powerful that I could only watch from behind,' Ji Wuye reflected with a quiet, inward murmur.
Shaking off the nostalgic reverie, his brow furrowed as he refocused on the puzzling matter at hand. 'But why is she really here, in this remote, disused courtyard?'
Though he couldn't precisely recall details from the previous timeline, a vague recollection surfaced that Song Jia had become something of a famous among the Outer Disciples after her prodigious talents were unveiled.
An insatiable appetite for challenging others and constant training leaving a trail of defeated geniuses in her wake...
This secluded area, isolated from the bustling male and female disciple quarters, was abandoned for good reason. So what had drawn her formidable presence here today?
As Ji Wuye's thoughts chased themselves in fruitless circles, Song Jia abruptly paused and shifted her piercing gaze regard back towards him, seeming satisfied by whatever she had discerned.
Straightening fluidly from her crouch, she fixed him with a imperious look and issued a simple challenge:
"Let's spar...Brother Ji."
[📖First ⏮️Previous Next⏭️]
2024.05.21 23:55 Jbullet1988 Motorcycle carb backfire
I'm new to motorcycles and carbs for that part I'm use to fuel injection.
When I first start my beull blast it starts right up but after a few seconds it will backfire in to the carb and shut down of I'm not giving it throttle. If I'm giving it throttle it still dose the backfire but it stays running... not sure what to do to fix it... I need a new air filter ATM but I don't think that's the cause of the backfire.
I have replaced the plugs and wires, new oil and transmission fluid. New break fluids and all the fuses changed and fuse box cleaned.. should I be messing with the air fuel ratio? Maybe adjust the idle screw a little bit idk because it only dose it on start up and can't replicate it once it's warm
submitted by Jbullet1988 to blast [link] [comments]
When I first start my beull blast it starts right up but after a few seconds it will backfire in to the carb and shut down of I'm not giving it throttle. If I'm giving it throttle it still dose the backfire but it stays running... not sure what to do to fix it... I need a new air filter ATM but I don't think that's the cause of the backfire.
I have replaced the plugs and wires, new oil and transmission fluid. New break fluids and all the fuses changed and fuse box cleaned.. should I be messing with the air fuel ratio? Maybe adjust the idle screw a little bit idk because it only dose it on start up and can't replicate it once it's warm
2024.05.21 23:55 Dry-Belt7165 Water is always scalding. Please help.
 | Moved into our house about a year ago and for some reason have just dealt with nearly burning our skin off for this long but it’s time to fix it and stop using way more oil than I’m sure is necessary. Pics of boiler here for reference. submitted by Dry-Belt7165 to hvacadvice [link] [comments] What are the correct settings and what do I do to change them? |
2024.05.21 23:50 riligan Took car in for a slight vibration, was quoted $4500k for a replacement of all control arms!
 | Hello, im looking for advice for my 2009 BMW 650i. Ive recently been feeling a slight vibration on my passanger side front tire when i accelerate or brake. I took it into the shop for an inspection and upon putting my car on the lift the mechanic claims instantly that all four control arms are done for as well as the right rear strut. submitted by riligan to BMW [link] [comments] I find it hard to beleive that I need to replace all of these things at once as well as the mechanic diagnosing my issue in less than 10 minutes without a test drive. He took some pictures claiming oil leaking from my front lower radius arm bushings and my from control arm bushings showing that they are oil soaked and cracking. Also he provided a picture of my rear strut claiming that this is leaking as well and needs replacing. Can anyone please advise if ive found a bad mechanic? Im thinking that the only thing wrong is that since the bushing is cracked its causing vibration and needs to be replaced. Not really every single control arm and the right rear strut. Providing pictures for refrence. Also I have an oil leak as well, not too sure where from but im thinking that the oil leaks seen in the pictures are coming from above and not the actualy arms since theres oil all over the underside of my car. Providing pictures for reference. Thank you so much for reading and id very much appreciate the help. |
2024.05.21 23:48 Suspicious_Ad8214 Help needed with Bosch Silent Dishwasher
What could be the issue
I think I added more than required detergent which created sud and that resulted in lot of foam.
I cleaned the extra foam, removed all the utensils and cleaned the filter.
Restarted the machine and added some oil as well for the cleaning of suds, there is no leakage now neither an issue with the water
The dishwasher keeps making the sound as in video after every couple of minutes, not sure what is happening.
submitted by Suspicious_Ad8214 to HomeMaintenance [link] [comments]
I think I added more than required detergent which created sud and that resulted in lot of foam.
I cleaned the extra foam, removed all the utensils and cleaned the filter.
Restarted the machine and added some oil as well for the cleaning of suds, there is no leakage now neither an issue with the water
The dishwasher keeps making the sound as in video after every couple of minutes, not sure what is happening.
2024.05.21 23:47 RedArr0w45 Oil leak in spark plug cavity
So had my Fiesta in for a service and they said the rubber gasket on the rocker cover needs replacing as the spark plugs are sitting in a bit of oil.
Quote £220 labour and £55 for the part... Which I'd rather DIY myself and save some money while learning something along the way.
So got my self the Haynes manual, tools (digital ratchet), spark plug socket and a new rubber gasket for rocker cover. Also got 4x new genuine ford spark plugs.
Car details: Ford Fiesta Zetec 2005 Hatchback Engine size 1.25 16v 55KW/75HP
My questions are; 1. Do I also need to get a tube of sealant to use on the rocker cover in addition to the rubber seal? (Read mixed opinions if should or not required)
2a. Do I need to tighten the rocker cover bolts back on in a certain order & tightness? (Saw a video of someone doing similar but on a mk6 fiesta and they said bolts had to be tightened in certain order to avoid pinching the seal.)
2b. If so, is there a diagram with which order to tighten the bolts and how many nm?
submitted by RedArr0w45 to MechanicAdvice [link] [comments]
Quote £220 labour and £55 for the part... Which I'd rather DIY myself and save some money while learning something along the way.
So got my self the Haynes manual, tools (digital ratchet), spark plug socket and a new rubber gasket for rocker cover. Also got 4x new genuine ford spark plugs.
Car details: Ford Fiesta Zetec 2005 Hatchback Engine size 1.25 16v 55KW/75HP
My questions are; 1. Do I also need to get a tube of sealant to use on the rocker cover in addition to the rubber seal? (Read mixed opinions if should or not required)
2a. Do I need to tighten the rocker cover bolts back on in a certain order & tightness? (Saw a video of someone doing similar but on a mk6 fiesta and they said bolts had to be tightened in certain order to avoid pinching the seal.)
2b. If so, is there a diagram with which order to tighten the bolts and how many nm?
- Anything else I should be weary of while undertaking this gasket replacement? (The air filter had been changed already so don't need to worry about using the air box apart.)
2024.05.21 23:47 riligan Took car in for a small vibration, was quoted over $4500 for a full control arm replacement.
 | Hello, im looking for advice for my 2009 BMW 650i. Ive recently been feeling a slight vibration on my passanger side front tire when i accelerate or brake. I took it into the shop for an inspection and upon putting my car on the lift the mechanic claims instantly that all four control arms are done for as well as the right rear strut. submitted by riligan to MechanicAdvice [link] [comments] I find it hard to beleive that I need to replace all of these things at once as well as the mechanic diagnosing my issue in less than 10 minutes without a test drive. He took some pictures claiming oil leaking from my front lower radius arm bushings and my from control arm bushings showing that they are oil soaked and cracking. Also he provided a picture of my rear strut claiming that this is leaking as well and needs replacing. Can anyone please advise if ive found a bad mechanic? Im thinking that the only thing wrong is that since the bushing is cracked its causing vibration and needs to be replaced. Not really every single control arm and the right rear strut. Providing pictures for reference. Also I have an oil leak somewhere in the engine bay, not too sure where from but im thinking that the oil leaks seen in the pictures are coming from above and not the actualy arms since theres oil all over the underside of my car. Providing pictures for reference. Thank you so much for reading and id very much appreciate the help. |
2024.05.21 23:45 Suspicious_Ad8214 What could be the issue
 | I think I added more than required detergent which created sud and that resulted in lot of foam. submitted by Suspicious_Ad8214 to askaplumber [link] [comments] I cleaned the extra foam, removed all the utensils and cleaned the filter. Restarted the machine and added some oil as well for the cleaning of suds, there is no leakage now neither an issue with the water The dishwasher keeps making the sound as in video after every couple of minutes, not sure what is happening. |
2024.05.21 23:22 HumbleGauge Evidence for an abandoned time skip in Book 1 of HoC?
Almost everyone is probably aware of the timeline inconsistency in Book 1 of HoC with the Fall of Pale being said to have just happened, and this not matching up with it supposedly being 1159 Burn's Sleep. What most people might not be aware of is that even if the year was 1163 it would still be an inconsistency because it would be the wrong time of the year.
In chapter 2 of GotM Tattersail tells us Pale fell in late winter:
There is also another indication that Karsa travels to Seven Cities around the time of GotM, and that is later in chapter 3 after they have entered the Nascent when the Unbound are on board the Silanda after Karsa has killed Binadas they sense they are hunted by other T'lan Imass:
Another oddity related to the timeline placement of HoC Book 1 is the age of Karsa's daughters in TtH. If we assume that Harllo is five years old in TtH as the book says, then TtH should be set during late winter 1170, since he was conceived in the middle of 1164 in MoI, and would therefore be born in 1165 and be five in 1170. If HoC book 1 is in 1159 then this would mean that Karsa's daughters should be around 10 years old, which seems far too young.
Karsa's daughters being 10 might in fact be too generous. In tGiNW we learn that Sarlis was pregnant with Rant for 2 years, and if Teblor women have equally long pregnancies then Karsa's daughters wouldn't be born before 1161, and only be 9 in TtH. If we also take the date for HoC Book 1 to be winter of 1163 based on the Fall of Pale reference, then Karsa's daughters would in fact be younger than Harrlo.
Something that many might not know is that when HoC was originally published the year given for Book 1 wasn't 1159, but 1139. I wonder if Erikson might have based the age of Karsa's daughters on the 1139 date, which would mean that they are in their late twenties in TtH, which seems much more reasonable. But this would be a very strange error to make if the 1139 date was simply a typo. Erikson should know that HoC Book 1 isn't decades before the other books, unless that was in fact the original plan and he forgot he had changed it.
I feel the type of timeline errors related to HoC Book 1 indicate that there originally was a time skip in the middle of it that was abandoned relatively late in the writing process. Erikson has said that he doesn't care overmuch about the timeline, but he also prides himself on that he doesn't put anything in a book that he doesn't feel must absolutely be there. I can't really see any purpose to the mention of the Fall of Pale except to give the reader an idea of the timeline, but this would be unnecessary since we have already been given the year and even the season earlier in the book. If there had been a time skip then Erikson feeling the need to clarify when the story is taking place would make perfect sense.
My guess is that Erikson originally planned for HoC Book 1 to start in late spring of 1139, and then have a time skip and end it in late winter of 1163. In chapter 2 Karsa gets captured by the people of Silver Lake and put in a slave pit, but he almost immediately escapes before being recaptured by Malazan soldiers. The natural place for a time skip would have been to have Karsa be a slave for 24 years before his escape attempt.
In addition to the age of Karsa's daughter making more sense in TtH, another neat thing with the part of HoC before Karsa becomes a slave being in 1139 would be that Elade Tharos would be 80 years old in tGiNW just like Karsa was 80 at the beginning of HoC, and I really like the symmetry in that. In HoC Elade Tharos is "no more than forty" when he witnesses Karsa killing his family. tGiNW is set about ten years after MBotF, which would be around 1180, roughly 40 years after 1139.
Elade Tharos's ambitions in tGiNW are exactly the same as Karsa's in chapter 1 of HoC when we learn he is 80:
submitted by HumbleGauge to Malazan [link] [comments]
In chapter 2 of GotM Tattersail tells us Pale fell in late winter:
In some military headquarters back in the Empire's capital of Unta, three thousand leagues distant, an anonymous aide would paint a red stroke across the 2nd Army on the active list, and then write in fine script beside it: Pale, late winter, the 1163rd Year of Burn's Sleep. Thus would the death of nine thousand men and women be noted. And then forgotten.But in chapter 1 of HoC, right after Karsa has started his journey, we are told that it is late spring:
Less than a score days remained in this, the season of spring.While in chapter 3 Torvald Nom says Pale has just fallen:
‘This is Culvern Crossing,’ the Daru went on, ‘and it’s a storm swirling with the latest news from the south. All right, a small storm, given the size of this latrine pit of a town. The scum of the Nathii, which is saying a lot. The Malazan company’s pretty excited, though. Pale’s just fallen, you see. A big battle, lots of sorcery, and Moon’s Spawn retreated-likely headed to Darujhistan, in fact. Beru take me, I wish I was there right now, watching it crossing the lake, what a sight that’d be. The company, of course, are wishing they’d been there for the battle. Idiots, but that’s soldiers for you-’It's clear that Pale must have just fallen, and it can't be months old news that have just reached them since Torvald thinks Moon's Spawn is crossing Lake Azur in that very moment. Karsa's journey would have to have taken him nine months for it to be late spring when he set out, but be late winter when he's in Culvern Crossing. Karsa needing nine months to reach Silver Lake seems far too long.
There is also another indication that Karsa travels to Seven Cities around the time of GotM, and that is later in chapter 3 after they have entered the Nascent when the Unbound are on board the Silanda after Karsa has killed Binadas they sense they are hunted by other T'lan Imass:
‘Let us find out. Begin the preparations. Ber’ok, scatter that handful of otataral dust in the cabin-the Tiste Edur sorcerer’s warren remains open and, in this place, it will quickly become a wound… a growing wound. The time has not yet come for such unveilings.’ The speaker then lifted its mangled head and seemed to sniff the air. ‘We must work quickly,’ it announced after a moment. ‘I believe we are being hunted.’ The remaining six turned to face the speaker, who nodded in answer to their silent question. ‘Yes. There are kin upon our trail.’I think it's a very reasonable to assume that these are the same hunters that Felisin's group encounter in chapter 9 of DG. I also think it would be weird to have these T'lan hunters roaming the Nascent for years without finding the Silanda, but them being there for a handful of months seems relatively reasonable.
Another oddity related to the timeline placement of HoC Book 1 is the age of Karsa's daughters in TtH. If we assume that Harllo is five years old in TtH as the book says, then TtH should be set during late winter 1170, since he was conceived in the middle of 1164 in MoI, and would therefore be born in 1165 and be five in 1170. If HoC book 1 is in 1159 then this would mean that Karsa's daughters should be around 10 years old, which seems far too young.
Karsa's daughters being 10 might in fact be too generous. In tGiNW we learn that Sarlis was pregnant with Rant for 2 years, and if Teblor women have equally long pregnancies then Karsa's daughters wouldn't be born before 1161, and only be 9 in TtH. If we also take the date for HoC Book 1 to be winter of 1163 based on the Fall of Pale reference, then Karsa's daughters would in fact be younger than Harrlo.
Something that many might not know is that when HoC was originally published the year given for Book 1 wasn't 1159, but 1139. I wonder if Erikson might have based the age of Karsa's daughters on the 1139 date, which would mean that they are in their late twenties in TtH, which seems much more reasonable. But this would be a very strange error to make if the 1139 date was simply a typo. Erikson should know that HoC Book 1 isn't decades before the other books, unless that was in fact the original plan and he forgot he had changed it.
I feel the type of timeline errors related to HoC Book 1 indicate that there originally was a time skip in the middle of it that was abandoned relatively late in the writing process. Erikson has said that he doesn't care overmuch about the timeline, but he also prides himself on that he doesn't put anything in a book that he doesn't feel must absolutely be there. I can't really see any purpose to the mention of the Fall of Pale except to give the reader an idea of the timeline, but this would be unnecessary since we have already been given the year and even the season earlier in the book. If there had been a time skip then Erikson feeling the need to clarify when the story is taking place would make perfect sense.
My guess is that Erikson originally planned for HoC Book 1 to start in late spring of 1139, and then have a time skip and end it in late winter of 1163. In chapter 2 Karsa gets captured by the people of Silver Lake and put in a slave pit, but he almost immediately escapes before being recaptured by Malazan soldiers. The natural place for a time skip would have been to have Karsa be a slave for 24 years before his escape attempt.
In addition to the age of Karsa's daughter making more sense in TtH, another neat thing with the part of HoC before Karsa becomes a slave being in 1139 would be that Elade Tharos would be 80 years old in tGiNW just like Karsa was 80 at the beginning of HoC, and I really like the symmetry in that. In HoC Elade Tharos is "no more than forty" when he witnesses Karsa killing his family. tGiNW is set about ten years after MBotF, which would be around 1180, roughly 40 years after 1139.
Elade Tharos's ambitions in tGiNW are exactly the same as Karsa's in chapter 1 of HoC when we learn he is 80:
And I have but just begun on this path. Newly arrived to my eightieth year of life, finally a warrior in truth. I have heard the oldest words, the whispers, of the One, who will unite the Teblor, who will bind the clans one and all and lead them into the lowlands and so begin the War of the People. These whispers, they are the voice of promise, and that voice is mine.If Erikson in fact planned for Karsa to be enslaved for several years then why did he abandon this idea? It might be that Karsa being a slave for so long became too derivative of the Conan the Barbarian film, or it might be as simple that he felt the story flowed better without Karsa being enslaved for a long time. Or there might never have been a time skip with Karsa being enslaved, and I'm just taking crazy pills.
2024.05.21 23:19 Frosty_Fun_310 Particles from Used Oil
 | From a Mustang S197 with 120,000 miles. The oil sample was drained from the oil filter. They look smaller than metal shavings, and are dark brown or black. Is the engine toast? submitted by Frosty_Fun_310 to AskMechanics [link] [comments] |
2024.05.21 23:17 FrostingWilling7139 Help! Hydro jetting or new system?
Hi everyone. I have a 2 bed 1.5 bath house with a 42 yr old septic system with a sand filter. About 3 years ago we noticed a soft spot at what we believe to be the end of one leach line; however, it has not gotten bigger or changed at all in 3 years. We got the tank pumped in January as routine maintenance and the company said there was evidence of high water at one point but looked overall healthy and “should last a long time.” The tank and dbox are concrete. Then 5 months later in May, we are noticing foul smelling water pooling over the tank lid after we use the washing machine. We called the company and they came back out and pumped again and put a camera in to see the dbox. They basically said they couldn’t tell what was going on so we dug the dbox up and opened it. Totally full of brown water. They are telling us we have two options: total system replacement at $26k or trying to hydro jet it but that has a 50/50 shot of extending the life. $26k is a ton of money and not something we expected to spend right now. Does anyone have more info on hydro jetting and the actual possibility it could help for a couple years? Or any other thoughts?! For reference, we are in central NY. Thank you SO much in advance, as this is all new to us first time homeowners.
I also don’t think we’d be eligible for any grants bc we are above the low income line, though still very much not rich ;).
submitted by FrostingWilling7139 to septictanks [link] [comments]
I also don’t think we’d be eligible for any grants bc we are above the low income line, though still very much not rich ;).
2024.05.21 23:16 pimpjoshyj DIYer could use some help
 | Just changed my oil for the first time and this is what the filter looked like. Does that look like an excessive amount of metal? Or just normal wear and tear? submitted by pimpjoshyj to MechanicAdvice [link] [comments] |
2024.05.21 23:11 No-Professional2982 PMP PDU / CSM SEU
Has anyone here created or found a cross-reference for PMP PDUs and CSM SEUs; whereby, one can earn both from the same course?
submitted by No-Professional2982 to pmp [link] [comments]
2024.05.21 23:05 halfkeck Lemons aren't always bitter, a 24 Hours of Lemons story. Race 11 Part 1
"You should go to Hallett. We went last year and it was fun. A good track for Miata's"
My friend Gerry the Texan who along with his team brings several Miata's to races all over from Road America to Houston to Seibring. It's a great bunch of people who are having a blast racing Lemons. He told me that and it got me to thinking. We wanted to go to a new track this year and after the disappointment at Barber going somewhere and having some fun sounded good. Also Hallett is noted for having a smaller field so we could be competitive. I always say that Barber is more like a pro level Lemons race in that it attracts the faster and better prepped teams. Road America was like that too.
But first we have to fix the car. As typical, we wait until the race is almost upon us to start. There's the matter of how bad the car is bent from the last race where Manny hit the wall. They thought it was good but we need to check this.
After pulling the rear sub frame in hopes of replacing it we learn that a 90 is a bit different than a 91 subframe or a 2001 subframe. Supposedly it all interchanges but after looking over the differences, Youngest adds a few reinforcements at places the internet gurus say are the weak points and we put the rear end together and put it back in the car. Then we check the alignment. To my great surprise the rear camber and caster is spot on. I was shocked, but the crew did a great job that night fixing the car while it was up on jack stands. Using just a tape measure they got the car really close. Toe was out but the borrowed porta powers got the bent subframe where it needed to be.
We changed the oil and brake fluid, bled the system where we took the rear apart to drop the subframe.
Another project we attempted was to swap in a larger fuel tank. Manny who has been helping with the repairs found a article on the internet that said you could bolt in a NB fuel tank out of a 2001 or so Miata and gain a gallon of fuel capacity. Yeah, that is not possible. The tank has a hump where the car does not and would involve cutting a hole in the car which would be a bit noticeable. Not worth it for such a little gain. Good news is I now have two extra NB tanks if anyone needs one. A gallon would not seem to be that much but we are still dreaming of two stopping the car at certain tracks, stretching our mileage to only stop every two hours and 25 minutes and make a seven hour day with one less stop. It's not all about raw speed, strategy can make a difference. One less stop per day could potentially add ten laps in a weekend of racing at certain tracks.
After we got the subframe in and the car aligned Youngest pulled it all apart again. He was not happy with the bushings holding the rear differential in place. The rear has to move a bit so it is not solid mounted, it actually can pivot a slight bit. He felt the bushings holding it were letting it move too freely.
Once again we put the car back together.
All during this time Manny and FabGuy have been working hard on a new car. Manny got a little crazy on Co-part. First one Miata shows up at our shop. Then another. Then another. I started joking with the guys "Hi I'm Manny, I might have a Miata addiction". Yeah. So after a lot of looking we have three wrecked cars, one being a automatic that was absolutely destroyed. It had zero good body panels and even the front subframe was pushed back where it had got up on something in a wreck. I think the only things we saved off that car was a rear axle, engine, transmission and the hard top which was cracked but usable.
We then robbed enough body parts off of one to put on the other so we ended up with a mostly maroon car with a drivers side red fender, red door and silver hardtop. I say we but all we did at the shop was to take the cars apart, everything else went to Manny's garage where he and FabGuy installed the cage and built the car. They did bring it over a time or two to put in the air to install a few parts or when we aligned it. The build and fitment were top notch on the car, lots of nice parts went in, like a better seat and belts than we use on our Miata. Like most builds they were literally bolting parts to it the night before we loaded the car to head west.
Finally both cars are prepped and it's time to get on the road. Manny has a business where he uses two rollbacks and moves cars mostly to and from car lots and auction lots. So he gets the newer one of the two trucks and shows up at the shop Thursday morning. RacerGuy and I are already there and have hooked our camper to RacerGuys truck. I am leaving my trucks at home, but taking our race trailer and our camper. The plan is to hook the camper to RacerGuys diesel F250 and hook the race trailer to Manny's newish Chevy 4500.
The plan nearly goes off the rails when Manny shows up and I get to looking at his truck. Being in the business I can't not help but look at tires. His drives are terrible, two are bald, one is soft and one showing wire. I go to air up one of the bald ones and it's not having it. Air is leaking out as fast as it was going in. In Manny's defense his employee was driving this truck and Manny had not seen it in weeks. I had already loaded tire tools and extra spare tires for every truck and trailer in the caravan except RacerGuy's truck and I would have got a spare for it too if I had thought about it. With nothing else to do, we all jump in and start busting tires. Forty five minutes later we have four new drives on the truck and we are in a much better spot to make the long drive. I hadn't done any big truck tires for a long time, sold that part of the business. Still got it, just like riding a bike.
We find I40 and start clicking off miles. Manny has already told us the limiting factor which is that GM put a really tiny fuel tank in his truck so we are forced to stop every 160-180 miles for fuel. It slows us down but it's not all bad, we find a roadside BBQ joint that looks like a camper up on blocks that has a huge parking lot and a ton of customers lining up. Of course we try it out, the best BBQ comes from little places like that, not the ones with massive buildings.
We cross Arkansas and I think it was the first time I ever went that way westbound on 40. Came back the other side when we brought the box truck back where we bought it in California. We finally make Oklahoma and bent north to go to Tulsa. Did not see the Tulsa King anywhere, stopped in a Super Walmart and stocked up on groceries for the weekend. Hallett is in the middle of nowhere, so we are planning on eating at the track.
We get there and make our way into the paddock. This will be the first time we have every camped inside the track. They have a cross over with gates that close during when the track is hot and a tunnel for access when the gates are closed. The tunnel looks kind of tight, I'm happy to not test the posted height limits. It says our trailers should fit. Yeah we will wait.
We hustle to get the camper leveled and the generator cranked up. For the next three days it will run non-stop to keep the fridge cold and our lights on. We run the a/c but for the most part temps are very nice.
The next morning we are up and on the road after the drivers meeting. We go to Pawnee, take in some sights then hit Stillwater for some parts and pieces at a hardware store. We also gas up all our empty gas cans so we are ready for race day.
Back at the track Manny and Fabguy are unloading their car off the back of the rollback. It was nice carrying one and towing one car. They go out and practice a bit, come in and make some changes then go out again. It's a new build and everyone has realistic expectations about the car. We are all expecting issues as it takes a while to find the weak spots and fix them.
We get our car out and practice. We send three of the four drivers out and have them run a few laps. I'm about to get ready and go out when RacerGuy comes in and says he felt something pop. We get to looking and the adjuster is gone off the alternator. Look a little more and the bolt has broken off in the alternator. So we have a spare motor in the trailer but it is missing the adjuster. Looks like we need the adjuster, the bolt and the alternator. We make a few visits around the paddock to look for parts but none of the other Miata teams have what we need. Youngest goes into the trailer and in a small miracle finds the adjuster laying under the spare motor loose. He and Coach head into Tulsa on a parts run while Manny agrees to put me into their car for a few laps so I can get a feel for the track. I've watched a hundred laps on Youtube but nothing is like actually driving the track. I go out and don't push things too hard. It is a very worn surface with some patches, particularly in the groove of turn two. Manny's car drives a lot different than ours, you can really tell you have more power and grip. Their tires are a lot wider as well as having 30-40 more hp. They have been working on the car all day and just finished taking off the lines where they installed a remote oil filter, they were not Lemons grade and were leaking.
Just before dark Youngest gets the parts on the car. We also install a helmet blower, we are going to try to use the air to defrost the windshield. All reports indicate rain is coming Sunday.
Then it's dinner time. Our friends from Minnesota have brought pure Lemons art down in the form of a Chrysler Magnum wagon powered by a slant 6 that is mid mounted. It is a engineering feat and runs out nicely. Adam the team leader and I have been planning and they are cooking for us for tonight and we are cooking for them Saturday night. They show us up by putting on a feed with steaks and salad. I'm feeling bad about the fact we are serving hamburgers, coleslaw and potato salad the next night. It was great.
Saturday morning dawns and we are up and moving around. I give up waiting on a shower as the line is too long inside and try the outdoor shower. It has no roof, just walls. It was ok. The next morning I tried it again and it was freezing, no hot water!
I skip breakfast and get ready to get in the car. I want to get on the grid early as I still am not feeling great about the track. The laps in Manny's car did not give me much to make me feel really attuned to the track as I was learning both the car and the track at the same time. I want all the practice laps I can get in our car. The line up is me, Youngest, Coach and then RacerGuy bringing up the finish for the day. FabGuy is gridded about ten cars behind us and he is under team orders to take it easy to start the race.
We get out and start doing pace laps. Soon enough it's green and the race is on. A few laps in Fabguy blasts by me. So much for taking it easy. Going into turn 2 I see a car off track. I mean he's not a little off the racing surface, he's 150 feet off the corner and just about in the tree line. I wonder what happened there. I am starting to get the hang of the track and pick up some speed. Then I mess up early on and miss the line completely going into turn 9 from 8 and run off the track. I fire the car back up and quickly exit and head to the penalty box.
"what happened?'
"I missed the line and ran out of asphalt and talent all about the same time"
The judge kind of laughs, "keep it on the track" and sends me back out. Youngest has made it to penalty and looks the car over from my adventure in the dirt and grass and gives the go ahead. If you are going to mess up do it right at the entrance to pit road, it really cuts down your time off track!
I run clean the rest of the stint. I tiptoe around the corner I went off but run hard the rest of the track without pushing so hard I get off again. Then Youngest, then Coach. We are having one of the best days we have ever had at the track. Besides my adventure off track no one else has messed up. Our stops are clean and quick. Our times top to bottom are very similar and consistent. Something strange is happening. We are in the top 15 overall and since we managed to get put in B class we are doing very well. Only 50 cars at Hallett this weekend, the smallest Lemons field we have ever competed against.
Fabguy pulls off to go to the gas pumps. We are fueling on pit road but they are going to just fuel at the pumps this race. They aren't planning on winning anything so why go to all the trouble of getting all your gear on and doing hot pit stops? Fabguy comes off a little hot and the officials come over to tell them they were over the ten mph paddock limit. Manyy drives the car up to the penalty and Fabguy comes up and they are told they are good to go. Later Manny gets off the track and goes to penalty. They start in on him not serving the penalty for going too fast in the pits. "we served that penalty" The judge goes off "do you really want to argue about this" Later when they realize the team was right and the previous judge had not marked it off the offenders list before going on break. In a first the judge apologizes to them.
With about two hours left in the day their Miata is towed off. The engine is super hot and will not crank. All signs look bad. Later it cools off and will crank, but cranks with ease, signs of a engine that has lost all compression. Their weekend is done and Fabguy heads out to get a headstart on getting to work early Monday. The rest of us will pull an all nighter after the race Sunday.
I start doing the math and realize it's going to be very tight. We make our calcuations based on a normal 7 hour race day. Today is a 7.5 hour day which is a bit longer than normal when racing Lemons. I figured out the stints and got it wrong. We realize our mistake and run Coach a bit longer before we put in RacerGuy. It's going to come right down to the limit of our fuel mileage. We start planning dinner and cleaning up the paddock with about ten minutes to go when all the sudden we realize the car is not out there. We run to the pumps and find Racerguy there. He ran out and limped the car to the pumps but could not get all the way there. By the time we get the car pushed around to get fuel the race is over for the day. I feel like a total idiot, I could have ran another five minutes easily in the car in the morning and not had this problem.
But the good news is that somehow even after I went off the track and and then we ran out of gas was that we were still very good on the day. We had enough of a lead on the car behind us in Class B that we still had a 7 lap lead even after running out of gas. Even better our paddock mates in the Chrysler are putting a shellacking on Class C as well. Their Magnum wagon is running a Richard Petty scheme, they all have uniforms and the requisite trademark Petty cowboy hat and STP logos, only this time it means "Slow Through Paddock" signs and all. They actually shouted this out when doing the morning driving meeting when they were going over the rules. "STP, Slow through Paddock!" every time the officials discussed that rule in the drivers meeting.
We put everything away, rain is moving in. We are in shock about how well everything is going. Surely we will find a way to loose this race tomorrow. Will other cars be faster in the rain? Will we shoot ourselves in the foot and have poor driving and get multiple black flags? Will something break on the car which has been running great all day long? And who the heck is this Coach guy? All that and more when we wrap up this in the next part of this story. Stay tuned!
submitted by halfkeck to TalesFromAutoRepair [link] [comments]
My friend Gerry the Texan who along with his team brings several Miata's to races all over from Road America to Houston to Seibring. It's a great bunch of people who are having a blast racing Lemons. He told me that and it got me to thinking. We wanted to go to a new track this year and after the disappointment at Barber going somewhere and having some fun sounded good. Also Hallett is noted for having a smaller field so we could be competitive. I always say that Barber is more like a pro level Lemons race in that it attracts the faster and better prepped teams. Road America was like that too.
But first we have to fix the car. As typical, we wait until the race is almost upon us to start. There's the matter of how bad the car is bent from the last race where Manny hit the wall. They thought it was good but we need to check this.
After pulling the rear sub frame in hopes of replacing it we learn that a 90 is a bit different than a 91 subframe or a 2001 subframe. Supposedly it all interchanges but after looking over the differences, Youngest adds a few reinforcements at places the internet gurus say are the weak points and we put the rear end together and put it back in the car. Then we check the alignment. To my great surprise the rear camber and caster is spot on. I was shocked, but the crew did a great job that night fixing the car while it was up on jack stands. Using just a tape measure they got the car really close. Toe was out but the borrowed porta powers got the bent subframe where it needed to be.
We changed the oil and brake fluid, bled the system where we took the rear apart to drop the subframe.
Another project we attempted was to swap in a larger fuel tank. Manny who has been helping with the repairs found a article on the internet that said you could bolt in a NB fuel tank out of a 2001 or so Miata and gain a gallon of fuel capacity. Yeah, that is not possible. The tank has a hump where the car does not and would involve cutting a hole in the car which would be a bit noticeable. Not worth it for such a little gain. Good news is I now have two extra NB tanks if anyone needs one. A gallon would not seem to be that much but we are still dreaming of two stopping the car at certain tracks, stretching our mileage to only stop every two hours and 25 minutes and make a seven hour day with one less stop. It's not all about raw speed, strategy can make a difference. One less stop per day could potentially add ten laps in a weekend of racing at certain tracks.
After we got the subframe in and the car aligned Youngest pulled it all apart again. He was not happy with the bushings holding the rear differential in place. The rear has to move a bit so it is not solid mounted, it actually can pivot a slight bit. He felt the bushings holding it were letting it move too freely.
Once again we put the car back together.
All during this time Manny and FabGuy have been working hard on a new car. Manny got a little crazy on Co-part. First one Miata shows up at our shop. Then another. Then another. I started joking with the guys "Hi I'm Manny, I might have a Miata addiction". Yeah. So after a lot of looking we have three wrecked cars, one being a automatic that was absolutely destroyed. It had zero good body panels and even the front subframe was pushed back where it had got up on something in a wreck. I think the only things we saved off that car was a rear axle, engine, transmission and the hard top which was cracked but usable.
We then robbed enough body parts off of one to put on the other so we ended up with a mostly maroon car with a drivers side red fender, red door and silver hardtop. I say we but all we did at the shop was to take the cars apart, everything else went to Manny's garage where he and FabGuy installed the cage and built the car. They did bring it over a time or two to put in the air to install a few parts or when we aligned it. The build and fitment were top notch on the car, lots of nice parts went in, like a better seat and belts than we use on our Miata. Like most builds they were literally bolting parts to it the night before we loaded the car to head west.
Finally both cars are prepped and it's time to get on the road. Manny has a business where he uses two rollbacks and moves cars mostly to and from car lots and auction lots. So he gets the newer one of the two trucks and shows up at the shop Thursday morning. RacerGuy and I are already there and have hooked our camper to RacerGuys truck. I am leaving my trucks at home, but taking our race trailer and our camper. The plan is to hook the camper to RacerGuys diesel F250 and hook the race trailer to Manny's newish Chevy 4500.
The plan nearly goes off the rails when Manny shows up and I get to looking at his truck. Being in the business I can't not help but look at tires. His drives are terrible, two are bald, one is soft and one showing wire. I go to air up one of the bald ones and it's not having it. Air is leaking out as fast as it was going in. In Manny's defense his employee was driving this truck and Manny had not seen it in weeks. I had already loaded tire tools and extra spare tires for every truck and trailer in the caravan except RacerGuy's truck and I would have got a spare for it too if I had thought about it. With nothing else to do, we all jump in and start busting tires. Forty five minutes later we have four new drives on the truck and we are in a much better spot to make the long drive. I hadn't done any big truck tires for a long time, sold that part of the business. Still got it, just like riding a bike.
We find I40 and start clicking off miles. Manny has already told us the limiting factor which is that GM put a really tiny fuel tank in his truck so we are forced to stop every 160-180 miles for fuel. It slows us down but it's not all bad, we find a roadside BBQ joint that looks like a camper up on blocks that has a huge parking lot and a ton of customers lining up. Of course we try it out, the best BBQ comes from little places like that, not the ones with massive buildings.
We cross Arkansas and I think it was the first time I ever went that way westbound on 40. Came back the other side when we brought the box truck back where we bought it in California. We finally make Oklahoma and bent north to go to Tulsa. Did not see the Tulsa King anywhere, stopped in a Super Walmart and stocked up on groceries for the weekend. Hallett is in the middle of nowhere, so we are planning on eating at the track.
We get there and make our way into the paddock. This will be the first time we have every camped inside the track. They have a cross over with gates that close during when the track is hot and a tunnel for access when the gates are closed. The tunnel looks kind of tight, I'm happy to not test the posted height limits. It says our trailers should fit. Yeah we will wait.
We hustle to get the camper leveled and the generator cranked up. For the next three days it will run non-stop to keep the fridge cold and our lights on. We run the a/c but for the most part temps are very nice.
The next morning we are up and on the road after the drivers meeting. We go to Pawnee, take in some sights then hit Stillwater for some parts and pieces at a hardware store. We also gas up all our empty gas cans so we are ready for race day.
Back at the track Manny and Fabguy are unloading their car off the back of the rollback. It was nice carrying one and towing one car. They go out and practice a bit, come in and make some changes then go out again. It's a new build and everyone has realistic expectations about the car. We are all expecting issues as it takes a while to find the weak spots and fix them.
We get our car out and practice. We send three of the four drivers out and have them run a few laps. I'm about to get ready and go out when RacerGuy comes in and says he felt something pop. We get to looking and the adjuster is gone off the alternator. Look a little more and the bolt has broken off in the alternator. So we have a spare motor in the trailer but it is missing the adjuster. Looks like we need the adjuster, the bolt and the alternator. We make a few visits around the paddock to look for parts but none of the other Miata teams have what we need. Youngest goes into the trailer and in a small miracle finds the adjuster laying under the spare motor loose. He and Coach head into Tulsa on a parts run while Manny agrees to put me into their car for a few laps so I can get a feel for the track. I've watched a hundred laps on Youtube but nothing is like actually driving the track. I go out and don't push things too hard. It is a very worn surface with some patches, particularly in the groove of turn two. Manny's car drives a lot different than ours, you can really tell you have more power and grip. Their tires are a lot wider as well as having 30-40 more hp. They have been working on the car all day and just finished taking off the lines where they installed a remote oil filter, they were not Lemons grade and were leaking.
Just before dark Youngest gets the parts on the car. We also install a helmet blower, we are going to try to use the air to defrost the windshield. All reports indicate rain is coming Sunday.
Then it's dinner time. Our friends from Minnesota have brought pure Lemons art down in the form of a Chrysler Magnum wagon powered by a slant 6 that is mid mounted. It is a engineering feat and runs out nicely. Adam the team leader and I have been planning and they are cooking for us for tonight and we are cooking for them Saturday night. They show us up by putting on a feed with steaks and salad. I'm feeling bad about the fact we are serving hamburgers, coleslaw and potato salad the next night. It was great.
Saturday morning dawns and we are up and moving around. I give up waiting on a shower as the line is too long inside and try the outdoor shower. It has no roof, just walls. It was ok. The next morning I tried it again and it was freezing, no hot water!
I skip breakfast and get ready to get in the car. I want to get on the grid early as I still am not feeling great about the track. The laps in Manny's car did not give me much to make me feel really attuned to the track as I was learning both the car and the track at the same time. I want all the practice laps I can get in our car. The line up is me, Youngest, Coach and then RacerGuy bringing up the finish for the day. FabGuy is gridded about ten cars behind us and he is under team orders to take it easy to start the race.
We get out and start doing pace laps. Soon enough it's green and the race is on. A few laps in Fabguy blasts by me. So much for taking it easy. Going into turn 2 I see a car off track. I mean he's not a little off the racing surface, he's 150 feet off the corner and just about in the tree line. I wonder what happened there. I am starting to get the hang of the track and pick up some speed. Then I mess up early on and miss the line completely going into turn 9 from 8 and run off the track. I fire the car back up and quickly exit and head to the penalty box.
"what happened?'
"I missed the line and ran out of asphalt and talent all about the same time"
The judge kind of laughs, "keep it on the track" and sends me back out. Youngest has made it to penalty and looks the car over from my adventure in the dirt and grass and gives the go ahead. If you are going to mess up do it right at the entrance to pit road, it really cuts down your time off track!
I run clean the rest of the stint. I tiptoe around the corner I went off but run hard the rest of the track without pushing so hard I get off again. Then Youngest, then Coach. We are having one of the best days we have ever had at the track. Besides my adventure off track no one else has messed up. Our stops are clean and quick. Our times top to bottom are very similar and consistent. Something strange is happening. We are in the top 15 overall and since we managed to get put in B class we are doing very well. Only 50 cars at Hallett this weekend, the smallest Lemons field we have ever competed against.
Fabguy pulls off to go to the gas pumps. We are fueling on pit road but they are going to just fuel at the pumps this race. They aren't planning on winning anything so why go to all the trouble of getting all your gear on and doing hot pit stops? Fabguy comes off a little hot and the officials come over to tell them they were over the ten mph paddock limit. Manyy drives the car up to the penalty and Fabguy comes up and they are told they are good to go. Later Manny gets off the track and goes to penalty. They start in on him not serving the penalty for going too fast in the pits. "we served that penalty" The judge goes off "do you really want to argue about this" Later when they realize the team was right and the previous judge had not marked it off the offenders list before going on break. In a first the judge apologizes to them.
With about two hours left in the day their Miata is towed off. The engine is super hot and will not crank. All signs look bad. Later it cools off and will crank, but cranks with ease, signs of a engine that has lost all compression. Their weekend is done and Fabguy heads out to get a headstart on getting to work early Monday. The rest of us will pull an all nighter after the race Sunday.
I start doing the math and realize it's going to be very tight. We make our calcuations based on a normal 7 hour race day. Today is a 7.5 hour day which is a bit longer than normal when racing Lemons. I figured out the stints and got it wrong. We realize our mistake and run Coach a bit longer before we put in RacerGuy. It's going to come right down to the limit of our fuel mileage. We start planning dinner and cleaning up the paddock with about ten minutes to go when all the sudden we realize the car is not out there. We run to the pumps and find Racerguy there. He ran out and limped the car to the pumps but could not get all the way there. By the time we get the car pushed around to get fuel the race is over for the day. I feel like a total idiot, I could have ran another five minutes easily in the car in the morning and not had this problem.
But the good news is that somehow even after I went off the track and and then we ran out of gas was that we were still very good on the day. We had enough of a lead on the car behind us in Class B that we still had a 7 lap lead even after running out of gas. Even better our paddock mates in the Chrysler are putting a shellacking on Class C as well. Their Magnum wagon is running a Richard Petty scheme, they all have uniforms and the requisite trademark Petty cowboy hat and STP logos, only this time it means "Slow Through Paddock" signs and all. They actually shouted this out when doing the morning driving meeting when they were going over the rules. "STP, Slow through Paddock!" every time the officials discussed that rule in the drivers meeting.
We put everything away, rain is moving in. We are in shock about how well everything is going. Surely we will find a way to loose this race tomorrow. Will other cars be faster in the rain? Will we shoot ourselves in the foot and have poor driving and get multiple black flags? Will something break on the car which has been running great all day long? And who the heck is this Coach guy? All that and more when we wrap up this in the next part of this story. Stay tuned!
2024.05.21 23:05 Bonzos-number-1-fan Putting the CAT# Back in the Bag: The Flaws With Person/Place/Object
Hi, I’m bonzos-number-1-fan You might know me from such theories as; "Theory of Fears; or, Zur Furchtlehre", "What R# Means: The ABCs of Fear" or, "Padlocks, How Do They Even Work?".
I’m back with another essay about this show. Today’s subject is a little different from previous ones. Rather than explaining what I think something in this show is, I’ll be explaining what I think it isn’t. What I’m going to be talking about is the very popular theory that CAT1/2/3 means the supernatural aspect is a Person/Place/Object.
Because I’m talking about other people’s ideas here I do want to start off by saying I understand why this theory is attractive and I don’t think anyone is stupid or anything for believing it. I just personally think there are angles from which it doesn’t work and that the sum of them makes it fairly certain to be untrue. I could be very wrong about that, and my other theories, or I could be very right. I don’t think either scenario matters much. This essay isn’t about being right but about talking about a big thing in the community. I just happen to not believe this one and people have signalled interest in hearing why.
So with all that out of the way I’m going to start by establishing the terminology being used. Then I’ll break down what this theory is positing and follow it up with the ways I think it does and doesn’t work. That’s basically it but with 16 episodes and supplemental material to cover it’s still not going to be terribly short.
Huge thanks to @brettanomycroft for proof reading/editing this madness.
Now we know what they look like, what is it we know about them? Well, not much at all. From the show itself we know there are CAT1s, CAT2s, CAT3s and CAT23s. From the Klaus excel sheet that was found as part of the ARG (and can be found here) we also know there are CAT12s and CAT13s. With that information we can say with some certainty that CAT1, CAT2, and CAT3 are non-mutually exclusive groupings. It's very likely not a linear scale of some description—i.e CAT23 isn't between CAT2 and CAT3—because CAT13 doesn't fit such a scale. Which means that where there are two numbers in a CAT# that incident likely fits both groups rather than being a new group. This also strongly implies that an incident could be CAT123 although we have yet to see that demonstrated.
We also know that CAT is short for "Category". In the Klaus sheet these numbers are located in the "Kategorie" column. "Kategorie" being German for "category". This unfortunately doesn't tell us anything we didn't already know. CAT#s denote some form of grouping.
There is only one other fact we know about CAT#s and that's this:
The second is the “subjective method” in which the assessor chooses the CAT# based on the incident itself. The subjective method has a larger assumption built into it in that they know what CAT#s are. They don’t know what DPHW is and have shown no indication of knowing what CAT# is either. So I’d say it’s less likely that CAT#s are subjective rather than objective. However, for the purposes of this essay I will assume that both are as likely to be true as each other and will refer to them both. Different cases show different flaws when one of these is true over the other, so both will get discussed.
As I have mentioned this isn’t a theory with a single theorist or origin to point to. As such this theory isn’t a monolith and there is variation in how these categories are presented from theory to theory. Sometimes “Person” is literal and other times it includes any sentient thing, “places” aren’t always strictly physical locations, and the narrative framing of what “objects” are may shift. As such I will be taking the broadest interpretation of these categories as their definitions.
People will include animals and other sentient beings. Places will include metaphysical locations. Objects won’t need to be physical in nature. This is both the fairest I can be to all theories and also the strongest I can make this theory. The broader I can make these definitions, the more different ideas can be represented and the more wiggle room the CAT#s get.
What I’ll do next is run through all the incidents the show has mentioned and explain them as I see it. We’ll start with the ones that fit this theory well because they require little explanation. Then when that’s established we’ll talk about the places I think this theory falls down.
CAT1RB4824 Injury (Needles) -/- Intimidation: Needles is definitely a person, no question there.
CAT1RB2275 Mascot (Kids) -/- Murder: Bonzo walks, “talks”, and probably thinks. He’s a person.
CAT1B4728 Mascot (Kids) -/- Frenzy: Bonzo is still doing that stuff so is still a person.
CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/-Horde: There was a person and they turned into snakes. Snakes count as people here too. Given the amount of snakes this is the most CAT1 CAT1.
CAT1RB-6451 Hunt (Aristocratic) -/- Compulsion: Lady M is the most person on this list.
CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Definitely involves a person doing something supernatural.
CAT2RB2377 Disappearance (Undetermined) -/- Invitation: A spooky theatre is a location for sure.
CAT3C7494 Collection (Blood) -/- Musical: A magical violin is definitely an object.
CAT3RB3354 Dice (Bone) -/- Fate: Bone dice are inarguably objects.
CAT3RB4622 Gambling (Application) -/- Murder: It’s another stretch to call an app an object but, again, happy to give it to the theory.
This issue is further seen in the methodology of assigning CAT#s.Objectively it has the same problem all objective assignments do. Reanimation implies there is going to be a reanimated person so restating that doesn’t add much. If we look at the subjective method then this is chosen largely at random. There isn’t enough of an indication in this incident to clearly state which CAT this is. So it’s neither helped in the assessment of the incident and doesn’t provide anything for response because all choices are justifiable.
CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/- Horde: Not misremembering here either. There is a problem with this one in that it’s demonstrated to be an infection. This makes the source of the affliction basically unknowable. The source could qualify it for other CATs but the larger issue here is that what CAT1 means here and what it means elsewhere are not that comparable. Needles, Bonzo, and Lady M are all sentient and independent. The afflicted we see in this case are normal people until they get very rapidly sick, summon a portal to the snake dimension in their throats, and die. Which leaves CAT1 translating to “something in the rough shape of a person” which is a really wide range of interpretations. Which is something I feel has little practical utility in either assessing or responding to these incidents.
CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Still not misremembering. While you can say that Ink5oul or Madame E are the person in this instance there is a major conflict here with CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic. If Daria’s transformation was CAT3 because tattoos are objects then there is no reasonable justification that this isn’t at least CAT13. It’s the same person, doing the same thing, to a very similar result but in a different CAT. The headers are entirely different, and so this/that may be misfiled, but it highlights a problem with Daria’s incident. If the incident with the Tattoo header isn’t an object then tattoos are probably not objects under this scheme.
If this is objective then this is always a person, or on people, which makes a great deal of sense. However if that’s the case then the objective method for Daria’s case sort of falls apart because there wasn’t really a secondary object there. Additionally, because all incidents with that case’s header being objects is a huge stretch. So if this incident, or that incident, is misfiled it doesn’t really matter. In either case (or even if both of them are misfiled), it largely disproves that tattoos are objects, creating a larger issue with that theory as it affects more than just this case. Subjectively as far as we’re aware Sam filed all three of the Ink5oul incidents. So he chose an object in Daria’s case but then opted against it here despite there being no real reason to that we can see. You could say that now Ink5oul has been in it more, he thinks Ink5oul has some sort of supernatural power themselves which makes them a CAT1; that would still make this CAT13 as episode 11 was CAT23.
What we hear about this incident is entirely focused on the doll itself and questions about its nature. It’s a split between Dolls (Watching) and Dolls (Human Skin) with the former being chosen as the latter is only implied. Dolls themselves are objects which would make this CAT3, and if the doll is sentient a CAT1. However, this is placed in CAT2 indicating that it's actually caused by the location in some respect. In order for that to make sense you have to make 3 major assumptions. Assumption 1: despite no indication in the conversation about this incident suggesting anything outside of the doll being strange there was actually a “haunted house”. Assumption 2: despite there being sections far more descriptive of locations—i.e Architecture—Dolls is more suited to this incident. Assumption 3: despite this being Sam’s/the audience’s first exposure to this system it leaves out the real source of the incident when, narratively, this is an explanation of it. Those are some fairly major assumptions to make to justify a theory.
This also has issues with either method of assigning CAT#s. If CAT# is objective then every Dolls (Watching) is actually a location. Unlike with something like Reanimation (Partial) that doesn't make much sense as dolls themselves are objects. In the subjective method, Alice assigned this as a location but their discussion of it centred solely on an object and she didn't explain to Sam why she did it.
CAT2RC3338 Agglomeration (Miscellany) -/- Congregation: This might be my favourite example of issues I have with this theory. To explain it we’ll look at this from both the objective and subjective methods while taking into account outside knowledge of the show from an audience perspective.
Everyone I’ve seen posit this theory attributes CAT2 to Hilltop here.They do this solely because of TMA. There is nothing in this episode that makes Hilltop out to be anything special in any way. But because Hilltop is special in TMA the audience is primed to view this location as special. It may very well be but there is no reason to think that. In fact, I’d argue there's reason to think otherwise based on this episode, but that is a little off topic for this essay. However from an objective perspective it can’t take Hilltop into account because not every header of this sort will take place in Hilltop. They could only manifest at special locations but that seems like a stretch. If it is true, why does this unique combination of words not include a word that describes it as a location? Subjectively it could be a misfile. Celia would be the only person who knows what Hilltop is in TMA— assuming some of the theories on her are correct—but that doesn’t make Hilltop important in and of itself. It also means she ignored large parts of this incident when filing it just to focus on that element. As this case is the one Alice uses to teach Celia the system with, then this also relies on Alice knowing or not correcting Celia. In either scenario this case is full of people of definite supernatural quality, lacks a location of supernatural quality, but has 100s of objects of dubious supernatural quality. Something doesn’t make sense here if this theory is correct.
CAT2RBC3366 Architecture (Liminal) -/- Hunger: This one is interesting because it shows a flaw not in the theory per se but in the methodology as a whole if the theory is correct. If CAT# is what the theory says it is why is this just CAT2? It being CAT2 at all is redundant when its header describes a location but in this incident we see it’s populated by supernatural creatures. I call them Uncannybals—as should you—and they’re monsters living in the shadow realm. That seems like very important information to include. So it should be CAT12 as there are both people and a place. The OIAR methodology already has the problem that you can’t include multiple headers but CAT#s, if they worked like this, could be used to alleviate that issue. The way it’s implemented here just makes it virtually pointless to include at all.
The method problems are the same as above too. Now this case is the one most likely of the three to be misfiled. So you could say that Daria's case is misfiled and would actually be CAT1 if filed correctly. Tattoos aren’t objects, this case is a mistake. Then you could explain that Marked is CAT23 because corpses are objects (so 13 if he was alive). Objectively this header always being CAT3 still poses problems because we know there are Transformations that don’t require objects. Which brings us back to the problem of “why are the headers so bad at describing these things?”. If it’s subjective Sam decided that object instead of person made more sense here. Seemingly based on the fact that there is a tattoo. Later on he changed his mind about this but choosing it in the first place seems like a stretch. If he knew what these things meant in order to choose them, object seems like a very unobvious choice.
Objectively all compelling corpse tattoos are found in magical graveyards—or morgues, tombs, goth bars, and other corpse hangouts—and I think we can all agree that’s sort of wack. Subjectively Sam decided the graveyard was magic despite there being nothing to suggest that.
The big thing to know here is that Kluas’ cases lack headers entirely but that some Klaus cases have notes and it’s these notes attached. It’s only one’s with those notes I’m interested in for this because of how they relate to things we’ve heard. One case is CAT3RBC1567 with the note “tinte”. CAT3RBC1567 is Daria’s case and “tinte” is German for “ink”. So this is very likely that case. There are 4 other cases with that note and they’re two CAT1s, a CAT3, and a CAT13. So even if Daria’s case is misfiled not all of those are the correct CAT# for that assumption. There are also two CAT1s and a CAT2 marked “Herr B”, which is “Mr B” in English. These aren’t tied to a Bonzo case we’ve heard yet but one of them does take place in Bland Theme Park, Somerset. That’s not definitively Bonzo but it’s a good hint at it.
Additionally there are 6 CAT2 cases that have the note “Katzen LOL” or “Cats LOL” which you’d expect to be CAT1s if there are cats involved. In a similar vein there are one CAT1 and five CAT2s marked “Kreigsvolk” which is literally “War People” but more likely “Army” or “Soldiers”. Again, you’d expect more CAT1s if CAT1 is people.
I’m not saying any of the above is the backbone of my reasoning here but these are things that are showing up in the show and they do seem to be pointing the same direction as what I’m saying. Ignoring them entirely I think the theory doesn’t hold up but with them I think it’s very clear.
Just to reiterate for people that did/do believe this theory I don’t think anyone was stupid and/or wrong for thinking it. I hope if the above has convinced you that I’m right about it that you’re not dissuaded from making and sharing future theories. I’ve have 3 or 4 terrible CAT# theories and a few R# theories too. My current ideas on DPHW and R# might be awfully wrong in the long run and that’ll be okay.
That’s me anyway, hope this was at the very least an interesting read if it didn’t manage to be a convincing one. Bonzo! Bonzo!! Bonzo!!!
submitted by Bonzos-number-1-fan to themagnusprotocol [link] [comments]
I’m back with another essay about this show. Today’s subject is a little different from previous ones. Rather than explaining what I think something in this show is, I’ll be explaining what I think it isn’t. What I’m going to be talking about is the very popular theory that CAT1/2/3 means the supernatural aspect is a Person/Place/Object.
Because I’m talking about other people’s ideas here I do want to start off by saying I understand why this theory is attractive and I don’t think anyone is stupid or anything for believing it. I just personally think there are angles from which it doesn’t work and that the sum of them makes it fairly certain to be untrue. I could be very wrong about that, and my other theories, or I could be very right. I don’t think either scenario matters much. This essay isn’t about being right but about talking about a big thing in the community. I just happen to not believe this one and people have signalled interest in hearing why.
So with all that out of the way I’m going to start by establishing the terminology being used. Then I’ll break down what this theory is positing and follow it up with the ways I think it does and doesn’t work. That’s basically it but with 16 episodes and supplemental material to cover it’s still not going to be terribly short.
Huge thanks to @brettanomycroft for proof reading/editing this madness.
Spoilers for The Magnus Protocol up to and including episode 16.
What is a CAT#?
A CAT# is the first 4-5 characters of an OIAR's incident report header. While these are not often referenced in the main body of the show, each incident we hear is accompanied by one in the show's description and transcript. As an example this is the case number for the first incident of episode 1.CAT1RBC5257-12052022-09012024The first line is the case number. CAT1 is this incident's CAT#. The RBC (R#/Rank) and 5257 (DPHW) have been topics I've discussed in essays I linked at the start. The second line is the header and is formatted “Section (Subsection) -/- Crosslink [Format]”. CAT#s is all we're concerning ourselves with today but I will be using this terminology going forward.
Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret [Email]
Now we know what they look like, what is it we know about them? Well, not much at all. From the show itself we know there are CAT1s, CAT2s, CAT3s and CAT23s. From the Klaus excel sheet that was found as part of the ARG (and can be found here) we also know there are CAT12s and CAT13s. With that information we can say with some certainty that CAT1, CAT2, and CAT3 are non-mutually exclusive groupings. It's very likely not a linear scale of some description—i.e CAT23 isn't between CAT2 and CAT3—because CAT13 doesn't fit such a scale. Which means that where there are two numbers in a CAT# that incident likely fits both groups rather than being a new group. This also strongly implies that an incident could be CAT123 although we have yet to see that demonstrated.
We also know that CAT is short for "Category". In the Klaus sheet these numbers are located in the "Kategorie" column. "Kategorie" being German for "category". This unfortunately doesn't tell us anything we didn't already know. CAT#s denote some form of grouping.
There is only one other fact we know about CAT#s and that's this:
ALICEWhich is not a lot to go on at all but it does raise an important question. How is a CAT# assigned? There are two major assumptions you could make here. The first is the “objective method” and that it’s a factor of either the section, subject, DPHW or a combination thereof. This means that they are pre-assigned in the same way that DPHWs are. This method has an inherent trait in that it means every header manifests as the same sort of thing. While it’s not a problem to say that every Doll (Watching) is the same— that could just be the rules of the setting—it does make CAT# itself somewhat redundant. The terminology of the headers will often describe something inherent about the CAT#. We have a CAT3 case that’s Dice (Bone) -/- Fate but dice are objects so why would you need to restate that?
Right, so, after each entry there's four numbers. That’s the DPHW. So, “dolls comma watching” is… 1157. Then you cross reference with the table here, that would be a 2-C, and then you type that into the box here, along with date of incident if there is one and today’s date.
The second is the “subjective method” in which the assessor chooses the CAT# based on the incident itself. The subjective method has a larger assumption built into it in that they know what CAT#s are. They don’t know what DPHW is and have shown no indication of knowing what CAT# is either. So I’d say it’s less likely that CAT#s are subjective rather than objective. However, for the purposes of this essay I will assume that both are as likely to be true as each other and will refer to them both. Different cases show different flaws when one of these is true over the other, so both will get discussed.
What is Person/Place/Object?
Person/Place/Object is the theory that the three single digit CAT#s stand for Person, Place, and Object respectively. Combinations of these digits represent that an incident falls into each category. A CAT1 incident indicates that the supernatural element of an incident is a person in some respect, while a CAT23 would indicate both a place and an object.As I have mentioned this isn’t a theory with a single theorist or origin to point to. As such this theory isn’t a monolith and there is variation in how these categories are presented from theory to theory. Sometimes “Person” is literal and other times it includes any sentient thing, “places” aren’t always strictly physical locations, and the narrative framing of what “objects” are may shift. As such I will be taking the broadest interpretation of these categories as their definitions.
People will include animals and other sentient beings. Places will include metaphysical locations. Objects won’t need to be physical in nature. This is both the fairest I can be to all theories and also the strongest I can make this theory. The broader I can make these definitions, the more different ideas can be represented and the more wiggle room the CAT#s get.
What I’ll do next is run through all the incidents the show has mentioned and explain them as I see it. We’ll start with the ones that fit this theory well because they require little explanation. Then when that’s established we’ll talk about the places I think this theory falls down.
Which Incidents fit well?
CAT1:
CAT1RBC5257 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret: There is something like a zombie in this incident. That’s something like a person and so fits well.CAT1RB4824 Injury (Needles) -/- Intimidation: Needles is definitely a person, no question there.
CAT1RB2275 Mascot (Kids) -/- Murder: Bonzo walks, “talks”, and probably thinks. He’s a person.
CAT1B4728 Mascot (Kids) -/- Frenzy: Bonzo is still doing that stuff so is still a person.
CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/-Horde: There was a person and they turned into snakes. Snakes count as people here too. Given the amount of snakes this is the most CAT1 CAT1.
CAT1RB-6451 Hunt (Aristocratic) -/- Compulsion: Lady M is the most person on this list.
CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Definitely involves a person doing something supernatural.
CAT2:
CAT2C8175 Infection (Full Body) -/- Arboreal: This incident takes place in a time and space bending garden. Makes perfect sense for CAT2.CAT2RB2377 Disappearance (Undetermined) -/- Invitation: A spooky theatre is a location for sure.
CAT3:
CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic: In this instance the object in question is the tattoo. Which I think is really stretching the definition of “object” but I’m still going to give it to the theory.CAT3C7494 Collection (Blood) -/- Musical: A magical violin is definitely an object.
CAT3RB3354 Dice (Bone) -/- Fate: Bone dice are inarguably objects.
CAT3RB4622 Gambling (Application) -/- Murder: It’s another stretch to call an app an object but, again, happy to give it to the theory.
CAT23:
CAT23RAB2155 Transformation (Eyes) -/- Trespass: In this incident’s case the location is the Magnus Institute and the object is the box RedCanary stole. I think there are some problems with this one but there is enough to get through.Which Incidents Don't?
CAT1:
CAT1RBC5257 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret: You’re not misremembering, I did say this fit well. Because on the surface it really does make sense, but I think if you push just a little it makes very little sense. Why? Because any category you want to place this in is easily justified in the incident itself. There is a zombie-esque thing but also a Frankenstein-esque figure for CAT1. CAT 2 would be the location of the graveyard itself. It was chosen by the presumed creator of this zombie-like creature and is depicted similar to the one in Marked, a CAT23 incident. If this theory is correct and the Marked graveyard is supernatural I can’t see a reason to discount that possibility here. CAT3 fits too because the presumed creation method is that they were Frankenstein-ed which does require some sort of surgical apparatus. But whichever choice you make you’ve not really clarified the incident at all.This issue is further seen in the methodology of assigning CAT#s.Objectively it has the same problem all objective assignments do. Reanimation implies there is going to be a reanimated person so restating that doesn’t add much. If we look at the subjective method then this is chosen largely at random. There isn’t enough of an indication in this incident to clearly state which CAT this is. So it’s neither helped in the assessment of the incident and doesn’t provide anything for response because all choices are justifiable.
CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/- Horde: Not misremembering here either. There is a problem with this one in that it’s demonstrated to be an infection. This makes the source of the affliction basically unknowable. The source could qualify it for other CATs but the larger issue here is that what CAT1 means here and what it means elsewhere are not that comparable. Needles, Bonzo, and Lady M are all sentient and independent. The afflicted we see in this case are normal people until they get very rapidly sick, summon a portal to the snake dimension in their throats, and die. Which leaves CAT1 translating to “something in the rough shape of a person” which is a really wide range of interpretations. Which is something I feel has little practical utility in either assessing or responding to these incidents.
CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Still not misremembering. While you can say that Ink5oul or Madame E are the person in this instance there is a major conflict here with CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic. If Daria’s transformation was CAT3 because tattoos are objects then there is no reasonable justification that this isn’t at least CAT13. It’s the same person, doing the same thing, to a very similar result but in a different CAT. The headers are entirely different, and so this/that may be misfiled, but it highlights a problem with Daria’s incident. If the incident with the Tattoo header isn’t an object then tattoos are probably not objects under this scheme.
If this is objective then this is always a person, or on people, which makes a great deal of sense. However if that’s the case then the objective method for Daria’s case sort of falls apart because there wasn’t really a secondary object there. Additionally, because all incidents with that case’s header being objects is a huge stretch. So if this incident, or that incident, is misfiled it doesn’t really matter. In either case (or even if both of them are misfiled), it largely disproves that tattoos are objects, creating a larger issue with that theory as it affects more than just this case. Subjectively as far as we’re aware Sam filed all three of the Ink5oul incidents. So he chose an object in Daria’s case but then opted against it here despite there being no real reason to that we can see. You could say that now Ink5oul has been in it more, he thinks Ink5oul has some sort of supernatural power themselves which makes them a CAT1; that would still make this CAT13 as episode 11 was CAT23.
CAT2:
CAT2RC1157 Dolls (Watching): This is a big one in my opinion. It’s not only the first incident we’re told about, but it's both Sam’s and our first exposure to an explanation of the OIAR’s filing system. It’s also one I see ignored in most of the posts that posit the Person/Place/Object theory. That is understandable as we don’t hear the incident itself but we do hear enough of it to show that there is a flaw in the theory.What we hear about this incident is entirely focused on the doll itself and questions about its nature. It’s a split between Dolls (Watching) and Dolls (Human Skin) with the former being chosen as the latter is only implied. Dolls themselves are objects which would make this CAT3, and if the doll is sentient a CAT1. However, this is placed in CAT2 indicating that it's actually caused by the location in some respect. In order for that to make sense you have to make 3 major assumptions. Assumption 1: despite no indication in the conversation about this incident suggesting anything outside of the doll being strange there was actually a “haunted house”. Assumption 2: despite there being sections far more descriptive of locations—i.e Architecture—Dolls is more suited to this incident. Assumption 3: despite this being Sam’s/the audience’s first exposure to this system it leaves out the real source of the incident when, narratively, this is an explanation of it. Those are some fairly major assumptions to make to justify a theory.
This also has issues with either method of assigning CAT#s. If CAT# is objective then every Dolls (Watching) is actually a location. Unlike with something like Reanimation (Partial) that doesn't make much sense as dolls themselves are objects. In the subjective method, Alice assigned this as a location but their discussion of it centred solely on an object and she didn't explain to Sam why she did it.
CAT2RC3338 Agglomeration (Miscellany) -/- Congregation: This might be my favourite example of issues I have with this theory. To explain it we’ll look at this from both the objective and subjective methods while taking into account outside knowledge of the show from an audience perspective.
Everyone I’ve seen posit this theory attributes CAT2 to Hilltop here.They do this solely because of TMA. There is nothing in this episode that makes Hilltop out to be anything special in any way. But because Hilltop is special in TMA the audience is primed to view this location as special. It may very well be but there is no reason to think that. In fact, I’d argue there's reason to think otherwise based on this episode, but that is a little off topic for this essay. However from an objective perspective it can’t take Hilltop into account because not every header of this sort will take place in Hilltop. They could only manifest at special locations but that seems like a stretch. If it is true, why does this unique combination of words not include a word that describes it as a location? Subjectively it could be a misfile. Celia would be the only person who knows what Hilltop is in TMA— assuming some of the theories on her are correct—but that doesn’t make Hilltop important in and of itself. It also means she ignored large parts of this incident when filing it just to focus on that element. As this case is the one Alice uses to teach Celia the system with, then this also relies on Alice knowing or not correcting Celia. In either scenario this case is full of people of definite supernatural quality, lacks a location of supernatural quality, but has 100s of objects of dubious supernatural quality. Something doesn’t make sense here if this theory is correct.
CAT2RBC3366 Architecture (Liminal) -/- Hunger: This one is interesting because it shows a flaw not in the theory per se but in the methodology as a whole if the theory is correct. If CAT# is what the theory says it is why is this just CAT2? It being CAT2 at all is redundant when its header describes a location but in this incident we see it’s populated by supernatural creatures. I call them Uncannybals—as should you—and they’re monsters living in the shadow realm. That seems like very important information to include. So it should be CAT12 as there are both people and a place. The OIAR methodology already has the problem that you can’t include multiple headers but CAT#s, if they worked like this, could be used to alleviate that issue. The way it’s implemented here just makes it virtually pointless to include at all.
CAT3:
CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic: This was largely already covered. So simply put if Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic is an object because of the tattoo, and Tattoo (Corpse) -/- Compulsion is an object because of the tattoo, but Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac isn’t an object despite being virtually identical to this case then CAT3 doesn't mean object.The method problems are the same as above too. Now this case is the one most likely of the three to be misfiled. So you could say that Daria's case is misfiled and would actually be CAT1 if filed correctly. Tattoos aren’t objects, this case is a mistake. Then you could explain that Marked is CAT23 because corpses are objects (so 13 if he was alive). Objectively this header always being CAT3 still poses problems because we know there are Transformations that don’t require objects. Which brings us back to the problem of “why are the headers so bad at describing these things?”. If it’s subjective Sam decided that object instead of person made more sense here. Seemingly based on the fact that there is a tattoo. Later on he changed his mind about this but choosing it in the first place seems like a stretch. If he knew what these things meant in order to choose them, object seems like a very unobvious choice.
CAT23:
CAT23RC5246 Tattoo (Corpse) -/- Compulsion: This one is fairly clear to me. I’m going to be very generous and suggest that the corpse here is the object based on the above. The reason this one is a problem is that there wasn’t a location here. I’ve seen people say that it must be the graveyard but that’s confirmation bias IMO. It wasn’t a large feature of the episode, didn’t do anything coastal graveyards don’t do, and had no overt supernatural properties to it. I don’t personally think anyone would categorise this as CAT23 based on the incident alone but because CAT23 people will justify it to fit. That’s not inherently a problem because sometimes you have to make assumptions but given all of the above I don’t think that assumption is a reasonable one to make.Objectively all compelling corpse tattoos are found in magical graveyards—or morgues, tombs, goth bars, and other corpse hangouts—and I think we can all agree that’s sort of wack. Subjectively Sam decided the graveyard was magic despite there being nothing to suggest that.
Klaus’ CAT#s:
This is a bit of a special section. I briefly mention Klaus in the intro but I didn’t mention that some of the incidents we’ve heard have been found on the Klaus sheet. The canonicity of these aren’t 100% and I would say the show takes precedent so this is supplemental rather than definitive. I think I’ve more than shown that this theory doesn’t hold up. This is more of an academic exercise.The big thing to know here is that Kluas’ cases lack headers entirely but that some Klaus cases have notes and it’s these notes attached. It’s only one’s with those notes I’m interested in for this because of how they relate to things we’ve heard. One case is CAT3RBC1567 with the note “tinte”. CAT3RBC1567 is Daria’s case and “tinte” is German for “ink”. So this is very likely that case. There are 4 other cases with that note and they’re two CAT1s, a CAT3, and a CAT13. So even if Daria’s case is misfiled not all of those are the correct CAT# for that assumption. There are also two CAT1s and a CAT2 marked “Herr B”, which is “Mr B” in English. These aren’t tied to a Bonzo case we’ve heard yet but one of them does take place in Bland Theme Park, Somerset. That’s not definitively Bonzo but it’s a good hint at it.
Additionally there are 6 CAT2 cases that have the note “Katzen LOL” or “Cats LOL” which you’d expect to be CAT1s if there are cats involved. In a similar vein there are one CAT1 and five CAT2s marked “Kreigsvolk” which is literally “War People” but more likely “Army” or “Soldiers”. Again, you’d expect more CAT1s if CAT1 is people.
I’m not saying any of the above is the backbone of my reasoning here but these are things that are showing up in the show and they do seem to be pointing the same direction as what I’m saying. Ignoring them entirely I think the theory doesn’t hold up but with them I think it’s very clear.
Conclusion
I don’t have much of a wrap up here. Anyone who’s been reading my posts for a while has known that I’ve never thought this theory worked. It’s not something I ever get too deep into because I’m also obviously happy for people to have ideas I disagree with, as am I happy for them to disagree with my ideas. That’s just healthy theorising. I’d been considering writing this for a while though but was mostly held back by not wanting to come across as some sort of arbiter of what is and isn’t correct, and didn’t want to seem like I was calling anyone out specifically. However a few people now said they wanted to see this and there are enough instances of parallel thought on this theory that it’s impossible for me to really single people out now. So here we are.Just to reiterate for people that did/do believe this theory I don’t think anyone was stupid and/or wrong for thinking it. I hope if the above has convinced you that I’m right about it that you’re not dissuaded from making and sharing future theories. I’ve have 3 or 4 terrible CAT# theories and a few R# theories too. My current ideas on DPHW and R# might be awfully wrong in the long run and that’ll be okay.
That’s me anyway, hope this was at the very least an interesting read if it didn’t manage to be a convincing one. Bonzo! Bonzo!! Bonzo!!!