Hey all,
Would appreciate a once over of my documents if possible please! I think we have a pretty straightforward case, but anxiety is getting the better of me!
General Docs - Cover letter written from Applicant and Sponsor - BRP Applicant - Passport Applicant (all pages scanned)
English Requirement - Uni Degree Applicant
Partner Docs - Passport Sponsor (all pages scanned) - Marriage certificate (it's in English)
Other - Declarations (to be printed off and signed)
Accommodation - All council tax letters that we've received in the past 2 years - Mortgage statements from Halifax - Land registry showing house in our name
Correspondence over last 2 years - May 2022 - Halifax Mortgage Statement (Joint Names - Posted Mail) - Sept 2022 - Nationwide Account Statement (Joint Names - PDF from Online) - Nov 2022 - Thames Water Bill (Sponsor's Name - PDF from Online) - Feb 2023 - Virgin Media Bill (Applicant's Name - PDF from Online) - March 2023 - Council Tax Bill (Joint Names - PDF from Online) - May 2023 - Halifax Mortgage Statement (Joint Names - Posted Mail) - Sept 2023 - Joint Account Statement (Joint Names - Posted Mail) - Nov 2023 - Thames Water Bill (Sponsor's Name - Posted Mail) - Jan 2024 - Letter from NHS (Applicant's Name - Posted Mail) - Mar 2024 - Council Tax (Joint - Posted Mail) - April 2024 - Joint Account Statement (Joint Names - PDF from Online)
Finances (Covered by Applicant) - 6 month of bank statements from Applicant's Monzo (Taken from Online Banking) - Letter from applicant's employer - Last P60 statement from 2023-2024 - 6 months of payslips
Questions... Declarations - Is there anything to be aware of here if financial requirement is covered by the applicant?
Mortgage - Are the statements sufficient?
Correspondence - Any gaps to fill?
Thank you in advance!!

In today’s world, Indian students are building interest in study abroad, it is becoming a widely popular choice among them. The opportunity of Study abroad offers a lot of benefits to international students, it helps students to grow personally as well as professionally. Study abroad helps students to build exceptional skills that are highly in demand such as flexibility, problem-solving skills, and more.
The reasons behind the increasing trend of study abroad are quality education, diverse cultural experiences, enhanced career opportunities, and more. However, starting a study abroad journey seems to be very challenging without any guidance. Let’s explore some different aspects and learn more about how Indian students can fulfill their academic goals abroad.

Understanding the Academic Goals

Before physically moving to a different country to study abroad students need to have a clear understanding of their academic goals. The Decision to study abroad can be a life-changing decision for the students. So, students need to be careful and plan in advance. Students should know what they want to achieve. It will help them in providing guidance throughout their academic journey.

Research About Destination

Every country has its unique specialties and different education systems. Students should conduct thorough research about the country they want to study in. In the research process, every aspect should be covered such as how many universities are there in the country, whether is there any financial aid available for Indian or international students by the government, stand of living, job opportunities, living costs, accommodation options, and visa regulations. Students should know everything about the country before stepping there as a decision like study abroad is not something you make overnight, it should be well-planned and well-researched.

Choose the Right Institution

After choosing the destination to study abroad, choosing the right institution according to the student’s suitability is very essential. Students should take enough time to conduct thorough research about the type of institution a country has. While deciding the university to study at, students should consider various aspects such as how many campuses are there, what are the locations of the campuses, whether does university provides scholarships to international students, availability of on-campus accommodation, tuition fees, support services for international students, faculty expertise, availability of desired course, duration of the course, reputation of the institution. All these aspects are very important for students when deciding the institution to study abroad.

Plan Early and Strategically

Students can achieve a successful study abroad journey only when they start planning early and strategically. Indian students should plan their journey in advance in order to avoid any kind of discrepancies and panic situations later. They must be clear about their academic goals, the country they want to study in, the institute, application deadlines, and more. Early preparation also allows students to address any potential challenges such as language proficiency exams (IELTS, TOEFL), standardized tests (SAT, GRE, GMAT), and document procurement.
Moreover, a well-planned approach to study abroad allows students to achieve their academic and personal objectives with the special opportunities presented by studying outside their home country. The approach of “plan early and strategically” allows students to embark on their study abroad journey with confidence and purpose that helps in maximizing the potential of this life-changing experience.

Adapt to the Academic Environment

Study Abroad is all about adapting to a new environment and takes skills like flexibility and open-mindedness. Students need to be well prepared to accept a new academic environment, teaching styles, classroom dynamics, and more. Being open to change will allow Indian students to overcome challenges instantly and also allow them to make themselves comfortable according to their surroundings. Indian students should incorporate effective study habits, and use available resources such as academic support provided by institutions, libraries, and online learning platforms to perform well academically.

Seek Support Networks

As an international student, dealing with the complexities of an unfamiliar education system can be very challenging, students should not continue the journey all alone. They should seek support from their mentors, fellow Indian students, or study support committees recruited by the institutions. Handling everything alone can be overwhelming for Indian students, seeking help will encourage them and they will have guidance whenever they are stuck in any situation. Students are advised to take part in extracurricular activities, and different societies, to build more meaningful connections.

Manage Homesickness

Most of the international students face homesickness as the biggest challenge in their journey of study abroad. It is very important for the students to manage homesickness as it can discourage them and distract them from their goals. Missing home and loved ones is natural, but making sure it doesn't come in the way of academic goals is a student's responsibility. They should stay connected with their family and friends through calls, video calls, and social media. Students should be more active in cultural clubs, and celebrations, at the university, it will help them in distracting from homesickness.

Stay Focused and Motivated

Maintaining focus and motivation amidst the distractions and demands of studying abroad can be challenging. Students should set realistic academic goals, break tasks into manageable steps, and celebrate their achievements along the way. Stay organized, prioritize your commitments, and seek inspiration from the academic pursuits and future aspirations. Remember that resilience, perseverance, and a positive mindset are key ingredients for academic success.

Conclusion

Study Abroad is a life-changing decision for Indian students that offers various opportunities for personal as well as professional growth. By understanding their academic goals, and conducting detailed research about the study destination and institution, Indian students can fulfill their academic goals abroad. Students can connect to Canam Consultants for any query about study abroad and get the solution to their worries.

My name is XXX, and I am a Freshman majoring in a BS for ECET, I’ve been informed of my upcoming academic suspension for the Fall Semester. I take full responsibility for my inadequate grades and my consistent shortcomings. I am writing this to convey that I want to continue pursuing my passion at NJIT, regardless of any obstacles in the future.
Again, I do not want to make any excuses for my poor performance this is entirely my fault, but please allow me to give further context. When I began my journey at NJIT, I was under the belief that I could manage many responsibilities all at once, and I soon realized that it does not work that way. Since the Fall Semester of last year, while attending classes I have also started to work at a part-time warehouse job to support my mother, we’ve been facing some economic hardships prior and I did not want her to be left taking care of rent and utilities all by herself, so I was obligated to contribute. Although this semester has been better in terms of maintaining a schoolwork balance, I am aware that this has not been enough, and I have taken measures to fix this. Alongside this, throughout these past two semesters, I’ve been facing some deep-seated mental problems that I have not been attempting to look for assistance with because of my then-warped belief that I would be considered “weak” for doing so, I didn’t want to ask for help. Therapists in the past have concluded that I have high-functioning Autism but both me and my parents did not want to go further with an official evaluation because of the stigma that might bring such a diagnosis. Although I’ve always had difficulties in communication and social cues, it was made apparent during the fall semester, which caused me to fall into a spiral. I had to withdraw from a class and retake several classes for the spring semester. I want help with this, it’s been difficult for me to come to terms with this condition and the communication issues I’ve dealt with in the past and which I’m still dealing with, but I don’t want it to affect my life negatively any further, I don’t ask for pity or to be treated any differently.
This spring semester has been better, to say the least. I did attend most of the PACE workshops and some tutoring whenever I had the time, although I wasn’t able to register for PACE itself due to me not communicating efficiently with my advisor, which was a mistake on my end. My friends and I formed study groups revolving around Calculus and Physics to improve on our fundamentals, which has worked for me for the latter. Around March, I began to reevaluate the choices I’d made throughout the fall semester. I feel like I was being ungrateful towards my loved ones and that I was letting them down. That revelation was cemented when my first cousin tragically took his own life around that time. Me and him were fairly close, and even after I left Ecuador after a long visit, we still kept in touch. He told me about how he wasn’t content with how his life was going and was rooting for me to pursue my passions even with the aforementioned difficulties, it struck hard. I did grieve, but in my perspective, to uphold his legacy and to go further it was important for me to pursue what I love even with any possible obstacles. I started to study 2 hours a day, which surely did help me in Physics & AutoCAD. Alongside that, I began to take fewer hours of work for me to focus more on classwork and presentations. My manager has been extremely helpful in circumventing many of the obstacles I’ve been dealing with, and for that, I’ve improved massively compared to the Fall semester. My mental state has improved, and although I’m still facing social difficulties, it’s manageable. Although I’ve passed all the classes that I failed last semester, I wasn’t able to pass Calculus II and therefore I wasn’t able to reach Good Standing. It’s saddening, to say the least, I am aware of the consequences and I do intend to make changes should I come back in the Fall.
My plan goes as follows, to ensure academic success I’ve decided to take much fewer hours at work and to save up throughout this summer so my expenses for the fall semester can be fully covered. My intentions for this summer semester were to retake Calculus II and to do Economics, if I do appeal I will continue to go through with it. She’s reassured me that with her new work bonus as a Teacher Assistant, I don’t have to be worried about our situation as much and that my priority at this moment should be to study. I’ll be communicating more often with my Academic Advisor about any possible financial help and ways to boost my GPA. As for me, I have decided to start scheduling appointments with C-CAPS as a way to help me improve my state of mind, and after careful consideration with my mother, we’ll be going to a psychologist by the end of this month for a possible diagnosis to get proper treatment. I do intend to start involving myself more in some capacity when it comes to student life, and I will continue to attend club meetings as much as I can, as I was previously doing so back in the Fall Semester with SHPE. I will be more proactive with my teachers, and I do have full intentions of being more responsible with maintaining a schoolwork balance.
I hope you can take all of this into consideration, this has been an egregious error of mine but I do want to set things right. I am a good student who simply didn’t prioritize everything in my mind, and for that, I sincerely apologize. In my college admissions letter back in Senior Year I made a promise to myself and to the faculty who accepted me that I would do my best to triumph at NJIT, and although I have had a rocky start, I want to dedicate these years in succeeding at the field of engineering. Thank you for considering this appeal, I hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely, XXX

Okay so I’ve always been enrolled into fasfa since 2017 just never attended college until this year.
I started my first of college on march 18th about two weeks after I submitted for fasfa 23-24 because my counselor said I still have time.
Fast forward to today my fasfa is only covering my school processed my 24/25 fasfa and gave me an award letter BUT not my 23/24
What should I do to get some type of fasfa for spring and summer of this year?

I have been struggling majority of my academic life. I was dismissed my first semester and have been placed on academic probation most of the time. I have had to appeal most semesters for my financial aid. This semester was do or die according to my advisor, there is a limit in the academic policies after failing too much for too long. I worked my ass off this semester and finally got a 2.1 gpa. I can't believe it. I was getting ready to write up appeals and everything.
I'm so happy but why do I feel anxious? I keep checking my email expecting a dismissal letter or a financial aid suspension letter but nothing. I feel like this a trick or a mistake and I'll be told that I actually failed. Thoughts or advice?

This will be my first time ever openly sharing about my addiction; from the root cause to the effects and struggles that having a porn addiction has impacted my life to this day
So I just recently turned 21 and I'm beginning to look around and realize that for as long as I've acknowledged that I have a problem and need to quit, I keep feeding the addiction KNOWING that it's ruining my life. I'm going to split this post into 3 sections explaining the following stages: The root causes/early development, Progression of my addiction to current day, and Main struggles from my PA and how I go about everyday life to heal. Not exactly sure why I'm posting this but I just feel like it's something I need to let out. Hope someone can relate or give me their take on it.
The root causes/early development: So I believe that my PA manifested due to a few different reasons: Playing "doctor" with my sister as a child, early age porn exposure, and then using porn as a coping mechanism to deal with any negative emotions. So starting w/ "playing doctor", it first happened at a very young age, somewhere between elementary school to 6th grade. I think most people know what that is but to keep it short basically my sister who is a year older than me introduced my to basically role playing as doctor and patient. I wasn't sure if SHE even knew it was wrong but the point is, it happened. I genuinely don't think she was doing in an abusive way but I'll never know. I don't remember the small details of exactly how it happened but what leads me to think this was a factor that contributed to my porn addiction is that I know now as an adult that it's wrong, however as we "played doctor" I only grew to enjoy it and occasionally we took things outside of "playing doctor" - which is why I don't know what to make of it... Long story short it went from "doctor" to us making up our own games like "spy" where we pretended to fight each other as spy's, getting "knocked out" unconscious while she'd touch... and I specifically remember wanting to play these games in hopes that it led to that. But even outside of playing games I grew to wanting to touch her and act on perverted thoughts as a child that were NOT normal for my age or in general. And sometimes I would sneakily act on them - which as I'm reflecting on right now makes me think that me KNOWINGLY trying to be sneaky and act on perverted thoughts at that young of an age had to have carried on with me as I got older (contributing to my porn addiction).. And then the last thing that I vividly remember was when I was probably 10-12 years old is when again we were actually kind of aggressively play fighting, somehow ended up with each other's hands DOWN THERE mutually and we kept going on with each other until she made me.... yeah. And that was the last memory I had of what started out as us "playing doctor". Fast forward to current date since that last memory and we've never spoken about those experiences (more on that later). Going onto the actual exposure of pornography and WATCHING porn, I was exposed to it somewhere in between the same timeframe as when I'd play doctor and the last memory of us playing (somewhere between the ages of 8-12). I can vividly remember the scene that played late at night on the tv that my parents had left on (I shared a room with them). And then moving forward from there, somewhere in between I would find videos on YouTube of this "prank" channel where he'd go up to paid actors, bet that if he beat them in rock paper scissors that they'd have to make out with him. And as a young kid at the time seeing a girl in a bikini making out with a guy as he grabbed on her ass just made me horny and I learned to masturbate from there. And I cant think of a stronger dopamine hit for a 8-12 year old little me at the time than seeing those videos and pleasuring myself. After this, I'd hit middle school where I was bullied a lot, all while lacking social skills necessary to make any genuine friends or deal with the emotional turmoil of being bullied. Fast forward a few months and I think I just progressively began to normalize using porn as a coping mechanism - All the way from whenever I just got mad while dying repetitively on the videogame, to avoiding the fact that I hated my life everyday that I went to school. I'd use porn to receive that "good feeling" whenever I could. And I think my sexual addiction got worse when I began touching myself in the shower almost everyday in middle school to the imagination of the pretty girls that were at my school, even though I had neverarely talked to some of them. It was just a thing for me where every night I took a shower, I closed my eyes and fantasized about doing stuff with them. And then the cycles of me normalizing these things continued and eventually I found out about REAL porn sites.
Progression of my addiction to current day: So shortly after finding the real porn sites I entirely opted to use those as much as possible as the cycle continued. So by my freshman year of high school I was already using porn sites regularly. I remember during summer and winter breaks, sometimes I'd sleep at my grandmas and stay up all night switching from ejaculating to porn, to watching my favorite youtuber and streamers, to going back to jerking off. It was a multiple times a day/night occurrence OFTEN. Sometimes even during the middle of the day I'd pretend to use the bathroom but really I had a porn video pulled up and I watched until I was done. And as time progressed one video didn't exactly cut it for me. I don't think its that I couldn't get off to the first video, but more so that I just had the urge to see more and didn't want to nut yet. I didn't even know if I was purposely edging or not. I did not even understand that edging was a concept yet. Its just something that occurred naturally for me. And during all of this, I am still somewhere in the age range of 13-15. Consistently ejaculating to pornography, further exploring the more basic categories of porn like anal and lesbian. I think a notable memory was one of the first times I watched porn in the middle of work during summer break (extended family owns a construction company so I worked over breaks). It's crazy because in construction all we have are porta-potties that are always hot and nasty and the urge just came over me one day to pretend like I was using the bathroom and get one off before I went back... I don't think I even realized at the time that I had an addiction because this was still early high school. It was just something I looked at as a good feeling and whenever the urges came to me I took any chance I got to fulfill them. Even if I was sharing a room with a family member, I'd be as slow and quit as I could, touch myself under the covers, finish in my underwear and then showechange the next morning like it was normal. Moving forward, this type of behavior continues all the way throughout high school and the feeling of ejaculating just is not as intense as it use to be, so I look up ways to spice it up and I tried shit all the way from sitting on my own hand til it goes sort or numb so it "feels like someone else is touching you", to doing it in more risky places like my backyard outside when I was home alone and had my pants pulled down all the way, to whatever else I could try. Reflecting back, I just look at all these actions as the progressions of a sexual/porn addiction that is still developing. And this is how I rationalize the way I developed a porn addiction. Now it wasn't AWFUL in high school but it was getting bad. I realized that I had actually had a bad addiction that needed to be addressed a few months after graduating high school. From that point forward It was something that I had acknowledged was an issue but nonetheless, continued to do out of habit and as a continued coping mechanism. Whether it was from the lack of relationships, to my current life situation/direction I was headed in, or just any negative emotion - I used porn to release. Sometimes I'd even just do it out of boredom, not even because I had a dying urge to get one off. And then after that point of realization, I sat in "depression" for a few months still going about my everyday life until one day my dad mentioned that I should try therapy. He knew nothing about the addiction but I did let him know I feel depressed and the many struggles that I faced - which I believe is due to my porn addiction. So long story short, I go to therapy for about 3 sessions and end up dropping it because it just wasn't something I felt was helping or enjoyed (more on that later). From there to current day, I've gone at MOST one week periods attempting to quit porn and every time I relapse. From the age of 1 to-current day 21 years old, the progression of the categories of porn that I watch has grown and a few different fetishes like face sitting, femdom, and role play has increased. I don't NEED to watch these specific categories to get off, however these are ones I've found myself most recently watching and edging to, sometimes for 1-3 hours at a time, usually at night on weekends or before I fall asleep. And to take it a step further, I had started pouring money into camgirl sites, phone sex sites, only fans, etc.. I live with my parents still so it's not to the point that I'm broke and have no money, but still what the fuck am I doing putting my hard earned money into a porn addiction... (I'm a functioning adult on a pathway to financial freedom, more on this later).
Main struggles from my PA and how I go about everyday life to heal: So I believe that the main struggles with my porn addiction consist of: the inability/struggle to create and maintain healthy relationships, low self esteem, poor social skills, lack of motivation, and the cognitive dissonance of continuing my addiction to porn even though morally I believe it is wrong to lust over. I believe all of these struggles that come with porn are connected to each other - minus the cognitive dissonance. But everything else kind of stacks on top of each other. So my thought process is that I already dealt w/ low self esteem and confidence from a very young age, and porn just completely enhanced those problems and made it even harder to fix/work on. If you're anything like me and have watched videos on the sciences of porn on your brain, and possible struggles that we deal with, I'm assuming you know how it goes for the most part. I'd say I show symptoms of all effects of being a porn addict, however I've learned to "act normal" to an extent. Like YES I struggle to make friends and hold conversations with people in general but I can make it happen. Sure it'll be a little awkward depending on who I'm speaking to, but I feel like I act normal enough to not be a total outcast and all out weirdo around people. But I just feel like every relationship I have with anyone is extremely surface level or unfulfilling. I feel like as a person I lack so much substance and personality due to the fact that I never really put myself out there and learned social skills when I was coming up. My mindset was molded into something like "keep your head down and stay out the way" in order to avoid conflict. So I never really put myself out there to develop any type of super crazy/interesting personality. I work, play videogames, go to the gym, watch anime. I feel like there's not much else - which might also be a side affect of my porn addiction. Lack of emotion. And I refuse to call it depression. Kind of got red pilled by Andrew Tate Philosophy and it entirely HAS helped me. Maybe it's real, maybe it's not - because when I was fresh out of high school and hyper focused on the bad parts of my life, I felt depressed as shit. Legit like I couldn't do anything to fix it. And the more I identified as "depressed" the more I allowed myself to look for things in my life to confirm that belief. So eventually I went on a self improvement journey and just stopped allowing "depression" to hold power over me. Now I don't believe in it so it's not something that can hold me down in that crippling way. HOWEVER, I DO believe in just being in a shitty situation - which is what I feel like having a porn addiction along with it's effects and symptoms is. It's a shitty situation and I can either allow it to keep ruining my life OR I can get up everyday and attempt to fix it. And I refuse to play the victim card. Sure, I may have been exposed to some fucked up shit at a young age and used porn as a coping mechanism. There is no denying that it happened and that it may have been unfair and out of my control. YES, that's my problem. I may be a victim of pornography but I do not have to ALLOW it to continue to ruin my life. Easier said than done but it's definitely possible and I will not blame my lack of discipline or call it "depression" because I'm unable to quit. The way I see it is, there is a lot of shit that happened to me in the past that I have to come to terms with, and then I must come up with a plan to improve and learn how to be better. For example, struggling to hold eye contact with people, hold basic conversation with people (specifically women), find confidence within myself, become more social, etc... These are all skills that we can practice and learn. Simply by going outside and putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations that allow us to put the reps in. I believe that if I quit porn and start walking up to 10 strangers a day and try having simple conversations with them, in time I can only get better at being social and connecting with people. It's gonna suck and feel like shit at first, but I truly believe that it's a way to improve and get better. As I stand in my current situation I would say I have a lot of work to do but I'm still a functioning addict. I have friendships and relationships with family but they are very lack luster and I long for something deeper and more intimate. I know I'm not ugly and have the ability to pull a good looking girl, shit I've turned down this really pretty girl who always asks to hangout simply due to the fact that I feel like I'm gonna fuck it up and have bad social skills. And its getting to a point where friends and family are wondering why I haven't had a girlfriend in years. Overall its a lack of self esteem, which hinders me from being able to confidently put myself out there as a person who's deserving of love/companionship, which then makes me sort of self isolate and stray away from any type of connection or opportunity to be vulnerable. Which just leads me to feeling like a loser or someone that is undeserving of love because I'm just in a shitty situation. And yeah. Its kind of a self sabotaging cycle because I feel like I understand what's going on but I don't have the discipline and don't put the work in to get better. But that's just my two cents. This post was extremely long and I probably rifted off topic a few times and had my thoughts all over the place, and I still have a lot more I could give input about but this is the jist of everything
If anyone has a support group or needs someone to talk to, 1. I'd like to join the group, or 2. Feel free to message me for any support or conversation.

I don't think I have a passion for anything specific I just like math and physics and want a well paying and employable job that is not boring. Everytime I think I have a passion for something my parents convinced me that if I presume it I will be unemployed. At one point I wanted to do chemical engineering and my mom told me stories about her clients who couldn't find work. Or when I wanted to do mechanical engineering and my dad told me examples of people from his work (he's an electrician) who he works with because they couldn't find work as a mechanical engineer. And I am aware that the job market for CS majors is not looking well at the moment either.
As June 3 approaches I loose more sleep. I want to solve problems and be engaged in what I do but I think I might be delusional. When I told my dad that I got accepted to engineering and CS at McMaster he lectured me about how unless I major in computer engineering or software engineering I will be unemployed in the future and that it is not worth him paying my tuition (he does not even pay child support) if I do not have free choice as it is too much of a risk.
I want to pursue a masters or PhD but I am uncertain why. This might not sound good but I think I only want to learn and not work which is stupid considering my families finances. I don't think I can afford to not work right after my bachelor's degree considering that my mom's work is physically draining and I have a brother 4 years younger then me. My mom wants me to do economics and CS at Mcgill as they gave good financial aid (10,000) but when I think of economics I imagine myself sitting at a desk doing repetitive tasks which require no thinking or problem solving.
My main concern is stability, when I first applied to university programs I did not consider this very deeply. This month I have applied to over 40 minimum wage jobs and all have either gosted or rejected me. It hurt more when I got an email stating that a grocery store that I applied to did not want to "move forward with my application" then when I got rejected from Waterloo an hour later.
I'm sure that this is not the best place to post this and that this is more of a rant then anything but I don't know who to speak to about this. When I mention any of my worries to my parents my dad gets mad at me for not attending UofT and my mom repeats the same phrase that she "does not know" and reminds me that she can't help me financially so I should accept the university that is the cheapest as she does not know how I will survive on my own.

I don't think I have a passion for anything specific I just like math and physics and want a well paying and employable job that is not boring. Everytime I think I have a passion for something my parents convinced me that if I presume it I will be unemployed. At one point I wanted to do chemical engineering and my mom told me stories about her clients who couldn't find work. Or when I wanted to do mechanical engineering and my dad told me examples of people from his work (he's an electrician) who he works with because they couldn't find work as a mechanical engineer. And I am aware that the job market for CS majors is not looking well at the moment either.
As June 3 approaches I loose more sleep. I want to solve problems and be engaged in what I do but I think I might be delusional. When I told my dad that I got accepted to engineering and CS at McMaster he lectured me about how unless I major in computer engineering or software engineering I will be unemployed in the future and that it is not worth him paying my tuition (he does not even pay child support) if I do not have free choice as it is too much of a risk.
I want to pursue a masters or PhD but I am uncertain why. This might not sound good but I think I only want to learn and not work which is stupid considering my families finances. I don't think I can afford to not work right after my bachelor's degree considering that my mom's work is physically draining and I have a brother 4 years younger then me. My mom wants me to do economics and CS at Mcgill as they gave good financial aid (10,000) but when I think of economics I imagine myself sitting at a desk doing repetitive tasks which require no thinking or problem solving.
My main concern is stability, when I first applied to university programs I did not consider this very deeply. This month I have applied to over 40 minimum wage jobs and all have either gosted or rejected me. It hurt more when I got an email stating that a grocery store that I applied to did not want to "move forward with my application" then when I got rejected from Waterloo an hour later.
I'm sure that this is not the best place to post this and that this is more of a rant then anything but I don't know who to speak to about this. When I mention any of my worries to my parents my dad gets mad at me for not attending UofT and my mom repeats the same phrase that she "does not know" and reminds me that she can't help me financially so I should accept the university that is the cheapest as she does not know how I will survive on my own.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRa-Lunch
Originally posted to relationship_advice
My (38F) Husband (39M) hid having lunch with a coworker (25F) and said my food was ‘tasteless’. What do I do?
Trigger Warnings: emotional affair, verbal abuse, emotional abuse and manipulation
Original Post: May 5, 2024
I want this to be quick. I feel really weird about this and I’m on the verge of asking for a separation.
So, I’ve been with my husband for 15 years, married for 11. Amazing relationship, small bumps of course but nothing like this.
I’ve always made lunch for my husband to take to work, and up until a little over a month ago that was fine. Middle of March he said that a new Turkish food stand opened up outside of his office and that he had been eating lunches there instead because they were good. Alright, no problem.
So he just completely stopped asking for lunches. I had maybe packed 5 during this time frame for him, but I’m not even sure he was eating them now.
So on Thursday I was at home working and I had a phone call from him, thought he was calling during his lunch but he had butt dialled me instead.
At first, I didn’t hear much, just him talking to someone, and I was about to hang up until I heard a woman’s voice as well. I wouldn’t say I’m a jealous person, but I was a little bit curious so I muted my call at work and listened.
It was just standard conversation at first, he was praising this woman’s cooking A LOT. Which of course made me realise that he was eating lunch this coworker made. I was a bit peeved but there’s an explanation sure.
Although that went out the fucking window when she said “is it better than your wife’s?” To which he replied “Oh yeah, without a doubt. I mean, it’s not tasteless for a start” followed by laughing.
First of all, what the fuck is that supposed to mean? 15 years of cooking and NOW he has a complaint? And not even to me but some coworker!!
Also, that absolutely isn’t innocent on her end right? I’m not crazy in thinking that’s so weird, why even bring me up?
Anyway, I raised hell, ended the call, sent him a message not to ‘worry about my tasteless cooking anymore’ and that he ‘can eat from the bin’ from now on.
Hes apologised, said that he loves my food and was just trying to seem cool in front of his coworker. I asked why he lied about where he was getting lunch from, and he said that initially he did get it from that stand, but the coworker started offering and he didn’t want to tell me because he thought that I would get jealous (yeah, can you blame me?)
So, I’ve been airing him since. I’m still pissed to be honest, I haven’t made him lunch or dinner, only for myself since he said that he dislikes it so much. He said today that he’s apologised and that I shouldn’t keep punishing him but I’m literally an inch from going to my mums. I have a suitcase with my clothes packed under our bed ready.
Dad thinks it was a stupid comment, but that I should work it out, mum is on my side regardless of my decision. I’m thinking about leaving for a few days at least, maybe a separation but I honestly just want some reassurance if that’s what’s best here?
Relevant Comments
OOP on if this was a one-off situation

OOP: It’s a one off and so insanely weird coming from him. He’s never been that type of person at all. I can’t remember a single time hes said something negative about me to myself, never mind to someone else!
He hasn’t been suspicious with his phone of behaviour at all. He comes home on time and if he’s out with friends I can pretty much confirm it, so I’m not sure. Maybe at most an emotional affair or a crush? But at the moment I don’t think he’s cheating. I honestly just feel really hurt

OOP on if her husband can cook or not

OOP: He can barely cook, so it’d be more of a punishment for me to be honest. I’ve been making him cook for himself since this happened and he’s been miserable. Definitely agree with the asshole coworker though, no clue why she had the audacity to try and bring me up like that

I didn’t know. Yeah he’s apologised, but I’m still pretty hurt over it. Cooking for 15 years just to have him badmouth me sucks. Ideally I want him to cut ties with that coworker of his too for bringing me up. He won’t mention much of her but I feel like she’s just as bad too.
I’m also pretty annoyed he lied to me for a month about the fact that he was eating lunch with this coworker, her lunch too. I don’t see why he would

Blue-eagle-23: Has he agreed to stop having lunch with her? Even if she is not hoping to get with him she is certainly not a supporter of your relationship.

OOP: He said that he’ll stop having lunch with her and apparently has done since that happened. (Although I have no way of proving this)

the_taco_life: If he's not cheating on you with his much younger coworker, he wants to/is trying to. Man my vagina would dry up and blow away in a puff of dust over such classic creepy older dude behavior.
You're not overreacting. You're under reacting.

OOP: I absolutely feel it drying up already. It’s like everything I’ve found attractive in him has gone. He’s just so plain to me now.

issa_username29: Yeahhhh honestly I’d probably leave for at least a couple of days too, overhearing something like that would piss me off! Has he been weird with his phone or any other communication devices?

OOP: Absolutely nothing! No change in behaviour either. He hasn’t been cagey or weird, he’s let me use his phone whenever before all of this happened. He’s been completely normal

 
Update May 7, 2024
I’m back. It’s not a great update but you all deserve one for all of the advice you gave me on my last post.
He confirmed that he developed a crush on her, it’s an emotional affair at least and that’s all I really need to hear. I sat him down and had a heart to heart with him.
Bottom line are these points.

• if I hadn’t of heard what he said, he most likely would have continued flirting with her, he admitted this himself.
  
• he liked the attention, she had bad mouthed me previously (I didn’t ask for examples) and he didn’t shut it down because he liked it.
  
• She has actively been persuing him for over 3 months now, he hadn’t put a stop to it until I caught him.
  
• The Saturday before last she offered to give him a blowjob during lunch together, he declined, but he told me that he let her feel his muscles over his clothes.
  

The only reason he said all of this fucking shit was because I was all sweet and I said “I promise, tell me the full truth and we can move on, I’ll forgive you, I just want to know”
Right, fuck that. He is packing his bags. This is MY house, and it will be treated as such. I really don’t care anymore. If he’s seriously deluded himself into thinking this is going to last, he can crack on.
I’m genuinely so angry more than anything. I did everything for him. I make double what he does so I paid all the bills, while we used his money for fun stuff. When we met he had crippling CPTSD and body dysmorphia. I did fucking everything to help him get over it. I dealt with his night terrors every bloody night, despite it ruining my sleep. I reassured him constantly despite not getting it back. All of it without a bloody complaint. You love someone so much just for them to throw you away so easily.
He cried, had a panic attack that I had to calm him down from and is now taking his time packing. He keeps stopping to come into the living room to ask for a hug. I can’t even express how disgusted I feel, like I physically can’t even look at him anymore.
There was no need, if he was unhappy he should have told me, I don’t know why the hell he even felt the need to get some validation from this girl but sure, whatever.
He keeps saying he doesn’t know why he did it, but of course he knows, he’s just too much of a coward to tell me.
Well whatever, it’s done now. He’s leaving, his family is back in Germany so fuck knows who he’s staying with, probably her but I’m washing my hands of him.
Thank you for all of the advice you gave me on the last post, so many great ideas that I didn’t even end up needing to use because he just down right admitted it all to me.
Relevant Comments
Katatonic92: Doesn't know why he did it? Here's my guess based on the info you shared;

1. You saw him at his weakest & most vulnerable, you are clearly still his backbone judging from his current behaviour. He doesn't get to play the toxic image of manly man to you, in his mind, you are stronger than him. I guarantee he hasn't opened up to her about any vulnerabilities he has, it sounds like she has appealed to the toxic manly man ideal of making food & offering blowjobs to the big, strong muscular man. He gets to inflate his ego in a way he can't with you.
2. Not only have you emotionally supported him, you are also the main breadwinner, the provider. You cover the bills, the roof over your head, his contribution is the unnecessary fun stuff. This is yet another blow to the toxic manly man's fragile ego. He probably considers himself financially superior to her, his money could hold more "value" to her instead of it just being fun money you won't really miss.
3. He is older than her, gets to seem like the wiser, more worldly adult of the relationship. He will feel superior to her in every way he feels inferior to you.
4. He enjoyed the negative comments made about your food, not because they were necessarily true but because it meant you weren't perfect & someone else was validating it. Again, when you are insecure it is easier to find faults be derogatory towards a perceived threat to drag them down, instead of building themselves up.

Conclusion. Major insecurity, inflation of ego from someone he feels he holds superiority over. And as fucking usual, instead of recognising this bullshit, speaking to his wife who has done nothing but love & support him, go to see a therapist to work on his feelings, he goes down the easy road. Instead of doing the work to overcome his feelings of inadequacy, it was so much easier to gravitate to someone who not only let him ignore those feelings for a while, they also found a way to tear you down.
I'm sorry you are experiencing this, it is truly pathetic when someone would sooner risk causing this terminal heartbreak, than suffer short term discomfort by communicating. It's pathetic.

OOP: Jesus fucking Christ. How do I pin a comment? That’s so unbelievably true I can’t even say anything.
Physically he’s pretty intimidating. He’s 6’6 and about 270 pounds, and he can be pretty scary to people who don’t know him. But he’s always been extremely sweet and kind, and that’s one of his biggest insecurities, looking like a man but not ‘feeling’ like one. Which has always been bullshit to me. But yeah, everything you said is literally him.
I can’t even thank you enough for writing this. Having it down fully on here is so incredibly validating.

OOP on her husband’s co-worker being a problem

OOP: She is A problem. Singular. I’m not running to her house to curb stomp her because I don’t know a damn thing about this woman. But regardless. Yeah, she wanted to fuck a married man, is that fucked up? Absolutely, and if the chance comes around I’m being petty and getting revenge. But seriously, who’s the hell is she? Did I spend 15 years of my life with this woman? Did I make vows to her? NO.
Read this, then reread it sir. My HUSBAND, is at fault here, because he knew damn well what was going on. He knew this woman wanted him, he knew what was going to happen and he let it. What can I do to her? Nothing, what can I do to my husband? Divorce him. That’s the bottom line.
For the love of god, stop dick riding my husband and move on, it’s actually insane that I have to say this but no one is defending that woman, no one, we’re coming rightfully for my husband because of HIS part in all of this.

 
Soon to be ex saw my update, came to my house. I’m safe. - May 9, 2024
I can’t post another update to the relationship sub, and I didn’t know if people would see it if I just made an edit myself on my other post. Some shit went down, but I’m okay. Yesterday night STBX contacted me. A lot of people told me to delete my recent update made of the post, it honestly slipped my mind that he could be reading it too,
He said that he was a bit hurt that I’d think he would go for Alimony. But that he understands given everything. He told me that he wasn’t going to but if he needed to sign something to prove it he would.
I said given everything that’s happened he can’t blame me for being on alert. He said that he’s quit his job and that he’s thinking about returning to Germany to be with his family there, additionally he says he’s cut contact with that coworker. He apologised again and wished me the best
Right, and that would have been just fine by itself. But I woke up at about 2.15am last night needing a wee and I saw my ring door bell going off. I have footage of him just sitting outside my house talking to himself. Literally he got there at 1 ish, knocked, sat down on my front steps and just started talking. I slept through it and only woke up because I needed the bathroom. I literally sat in my closet for ages just watching the camera not knowing what to do until he left at 3am.
He’s probably going to read this too but I’m somewhere safe, I just can’t tell you all for obvious reasons. He sent me a message saying he can’t lose me, that I’m the love of his life. I told him to fuck off and blocked him.
I really can’t say much, but I’m taking action. Absolutely don’t worry about that little prick.
Just a possible last update, it’s a bit risky to tell you what’s happening now that it’s gotten a bit shittier, just in case it gets back to him.
Relevant Comments
OOP on her husband blowing up his life for his emotional affair and doing anything to get her back

OOP: I did end up asking him why he declined her offer for a blow job. I feel like at this point it’s pretty done and dusted, there isn’t really a need to keep lying.
He said the main thing was that he was a little bit afraid to cross that line, and that he had rationalised to himself that since it hadn’t turned physical, it wasn’t bad. (He didn’t really elaborate on why he was afraid, but we were each other’s firsts, so that’s maybe why?)
I cringed a bit writing about her feeling up his muscles. It feels a bit gross to type out for some reason. My STBX is a physically big bloke. He’s 6’6 and roughly 270. He was in the military for a while and he never got out of that routine. I really don’t know what he means when he says his muscles. I mean it could be any of them.
My heart does really hurt for him in a strange way. I was a bit panicked this morning after I woke up from the nights drama worried if he had a night terror or something. I know that he betrayed me, but I still can’t stop hoping that he’s okay. I’ve messaged some of his friends to check up on him just in case.

OOP on if she and her husband have kids

OOP Nope! No kids thank god! We’re childfree

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

Fairly new teacher(~5 yrs if I add FT+PT) here, brand new school this year. Not by choice because when there's a surplus of teachers in the same license area in one school, they shuffle the newbies around the district until we find a new home school on our own. I was shuffling around and settled for this new school. Biggest mistake of my career yet. I've always been rated as a highly effective teacher prior to coming to this school.
From the first day, I knew I had fallen victim to the principal's marketing tactics. This place was nothing as she depicted as—inclusive, loving, rigorous, built on relationships and one big family............
I took over the class 3 months into the school year because the person who had the position before me put in for a leave and then quit to never return. Red flag here, but I wasn't aware of how the position came about until after I was hired.
Parents are the worst I've seen. They encourage their kids to eavesdrop on adult convo and to report back. They incentivize their children to not follow the classroom rules. They openly talk badly of their children's teachers in front of the children. When the children "get in trouble" at school, they do not give a single flying fuck because they know their parents will ask the teacher, "What did YOU do do make my child do that?" Children have no opinion of their own until they go home and their parents feed them what to say then come back the next day like a brand new kid just regurgitating what their parents told them to say.
Principal has the EQ of a rock, borderline sociopath with no real substance or knowledge of anything. Passive aggressive on a day to day basis and when she's in her mood, everyone needs to get out of her way and stay out of her way for their own safety. Absolute minimal classroom experience, not even in the grade levels she's overseeing now.
The parents and principals don't like each other and I have fallen victim to their BS. The parents discussed among themselves that it'll be hard to get rid of the principal so they decided to nitpick me. It actually started with the person that was covering the leave before me and now the arrow has been shifted to me since I took over.
I've been accused of verbal abuse on several accounts for enforcing classroom rules, consequences, and accountability. For example, I've asked a child to think about how their behavior affects others. The child got upset and went home to tell mom I made them mad. Parent calls to complain of verbal abuse for belittling their child. Incompetent principal sides with parent and put a letter in my file. Another example, I asked a child to write neatly so I can read their work. Parent complained that I did not provide support besides saying write neater. WHAT SUPPORT DO I GIVE IF THE CHILD IS DELIBERATELY WRITING ILLEGIBLY?? I'm not asking the child to do what they are incapable of. I'm asking them to do write normally as they did before their mom told them, "It's not your fault your teacher can't read your handwriting." Another example is when a child openly disrespected an adult in school. I spoke to them in a stern tone that it is inappropriate. I turned the incident into a teaching moment for the entire class. I got written up for making poor judgement because the child said, "The teacher made me sad when I ______."
This has to be a dream right???? A nightmare!! And my principal is happy to write me up for all of this because if she sides with me, the target is back on her. So as long as I'm the scapegoat, she's happy to keep writing me up. And when she's in one of her moods and it's my turn to take the hit, she'll bring up things we've spoken about and resolved from months ago and write me up.
I started seeing a therapist this year because our jobs are difficult as is already without having to deal with stupid shit like this. I've been screaming in my car before walking into work. I've been crying through lunch for weeks. Being a teacher was hard but I enjoyed the work that I did until I came to this school. My self esteem has plummeted and I don't even believe in myself anymore. I can't sleep, I can't eat, but I still have to go to work tomorrow and pretend like nothing's wrong.
I don't know how to get through the rest of the school year (even though theres only a month an a half left) and with my depleted mental health, I don't know how I can confidently interview at new schools. I feel like this principal would rather keep me at her school to torment me and let me be the punching bag than let me go to another school and be happy. Even if she wanted me to leave, she's not smart enough to just be a decent reference so that we can all just move on with our lives.
Any advice would be helpful. It's almost midnight and I can't sleep... I got another email from one of the bullying parents... I just want this nightmare to end...

I’m currently enrolled and going into my junior year at a private university. When I was accepted, I was offered a merit scholarship that covers half of tuition, and I didn’t try to negotiate for more money because for some reason I thought it wouldn’t work. (I think I read it somewhere that they wouldn’t negotiate or something, I have no idea.) Anyway, I know some of my friends negotiated and did successfully get more money.
I was the valedictorian of my high school, and have also maintained a perfect GPA in the honors program at this university with a computer science major and writing minor, and am involved in student life and leadership here. I want to ask for more merit aid because my family’s financial situation is changing this coming year (but not in a way that will qualify for need-based aid).
How do I ask? I know I could put in applications at other universities just to use as leverage, but I don’t know if that would be dishonest because I don’t plan to transfer regardless. But I know there is a higher merit aid tier that covers 3/4 of tuition, and I want to make a case that I should get that aid because of my top performance so far.
Is it too late to try to get more merit aid? Would I need to show competing offers to have any real cards in my hand? Thanks for any help.

I’m currently enrolled and going into my junior year at a private university. When I was accepted, I was offered a merit scholarship that covers half of tuition, and I didn’t try to negotiate for more money because for some reason I thought it wouldn’t work. (I think I read it somewhere that they wouldn’t negotiate or something, I have no idea.) Anyway, I know some of my friends negotiated and did successfully get more money.
I was the valedictorian of my high school, and have also maintained a perfect GPA in the honors program at this university with a computer science major and writing minor, and am involved in student life and leadership here. I want to ask for more merit aid because my family’s financial situation is changing this coming year (but not in a way that will qualify for need-based aid).
How do I ask for more merit aid? I know I could put in applications at other universities just to use as leverage, but I don’t know if that would be dishonest because I don’t plan to transfer regardless. But I know there is a higher merit aid tier that covers 3/4 of tuition, and I want to make a case that I should get that aid because of my top performance so far.
Is it too late to try to get more merit aid? Would I need to show competing offers to have any real cards in my hand? Thanks for any help.

Okay, so I have a choice to make about which college to finish my last two years at. The Public transportation plays an important role since my car is on its last few miles. I'm also 29 yo so "college experience" isn't super important
First school we will call Choice B
Pro's: -It's 15 minutes from my house. -The local bus line drops off right in front of it. -offering scholarships (11,000 approx) -The admission counselor has made me feel comfortable about transferring, she had been so welcoming and patient with my questions. - small classes, medium size beautiful campus. - I can live with my mom and keep my current job with the opportunity to work extra hours during the year.
Cons: - wants a $400 non refundable deposit to confirm my enrollment??? - super freaking expensive. Block tuition is $50,000 a year and I would be expected to take out $40-50k total to cover my last two years. - Its a private Christian college. No drinking, no smoking - no diversity whatsoever. The demographic is super young rich white Republican kids. I worry that I will not make any friends or network as well as I could somewhere else. (Older, liberal Asian) - course isn't as rigorous as school T, that requires way more classes for my major.
For my second option there is school T
Pro's

• is very well known as a great school for my major.
• has been my first choice for a university
• Public research university so the connections and opportunities are probably more vast than option B who's more known for marketing, sports, and business majors.
• it is significantly cheaper than option B. Yearly cost is around 8k a year
• much more diverse, the students seem much nicer
• small classes

Cons: - my car isn't going to last much longer and the school is almost a 2 hour commute one way. (86 miles from my house) - it is in a very small town, where the college is the biggest thing there. - moving closer would involve having to work more to cover rent and take less classes unless I took out loans to cover rent. - will probably not work as much if I commute because I'll be too tired from driving and studying to want to go into work. - the transfer advisor sucks, and did nothing to help me figure out the process or check in on my application compared to school B. Makes me worry that the rest of the staff is also that disinterested in helping students.
I also thought about taking an extra $10k in loans to put a down payment on a good car that would last me for years. If I can graduate with only $25k in loans for my last two years, I could pay that off quickly.. It might even be cheaper if I apply for scholarships (I am not applicable for this year because I missed the deadline) but this entire part stresses me out since it is very financially irresponsible.
Reddit, please help. Should I bite the bullet and take out more loans for convinence and a degree?

My cousin is a first time mom; she just turned 24 & she had wisdom teeth removal and a root canal done years ago on credit because she was in excruciating pain and it just had to be done but her insurance did not cover dental and at the time she was financially stable(no kid, working a full time job & bartending) but she stopped making the payments because she is working 2 days a week (hours were cut due to her not having reliable childcare and the baby has health issues resulting in problems with just anybody watching the baby (the last baby sitter missed a medication dose that landed baby into hospital) point being she’s a good person, she doesn’t have rental assistance or barely any other benefits because they do not offer them in the area she lives and she is barely even making ends meet (she was in a car accident also) …now she received a summons to court over the unpaid debt from a debt collector. Is there anyway she can get out of this situation? Mind you she only had necessity type dental work, no cosmetic work that she only was able to pay a 3rd of before life got hard. If there some type of suit to this such as hippa violation or something to get her out of this situation? Samples response letters..est are welcome.

Throw away since I know this former employee is on Reddit.
This is in regards to a small, privately owned retail business in an at-will state.
Usually oral agreement issues are employees being shafted by owners/managers/etc. that the latter may have orally agreed to about X, Y, or Z to an employee. It has actually been difficult to find online search results that are reversed, which is the case I am experiencing with a former employee (let's call them Alex, in a gender-neutral manner to reduce revealing private info about them) - Alex is claiming that they were promised a large portion of ownership of the business as well as equity related to recent, large product investments.
We had to fire Alex because of prolonged, catalogued/tracked service quality and professionalism issues, as well as strong suspicion (and eventual solid evidence discovered post termination) of theft. The service quality and professionalism issues were discussed with Alex numerous times, and naturally known to other employees working alongside them. Eventually, after numerous continued issues and verbal warnings, Alex was formally written up and we had them sign the notes covered in the meeting. After a couple more months of still declining service quality, and odd, suspicious behavior that strongly indicated theft as mentioned, we were forced to terminate employment. We provided Alex with a fairly standard release form which essentially said "we won't sue you and you won't sue us, and if you sign you get 4 weeks of severance pay." Alex did not sign the form. Alex found new employment about 4 weeks after termination and to my knowledge has not filed for unemployment for the few weeks between jobs.
As mentioned, we later confirmed not only theft, but Alex was selling the stolen goods online while undercutting our prices and then even using the store's financial accounts to purchase shipping labels for their online customers to ship the stolen goods to them. We have screenshots of their Ebay account, along with pictures they took showing of the goods where their hand is visible with recognizable jewelry seen by all the staff before Alex was terminated (so we can confirm it's Alex in the pictures they posted). There is strong evidence of other theft but it is more difficult to prove.
Re: the oral agreement - it should be noted that I did in fact make an oral agreement with Alex, but of which is very different than the one they are claiming was made. Because Alex was our first employee and worked with us for over 5 years, I agreed that if the business was to ever grow to say another storefront, I would allow Alex to buy in for an undetermined percent of the business (probably around 10% at most). That is it. I've maintained that this was the agreement to Alex, my wife, and employees for a number of years, never changing the details of the arrangement. Unfortunately Alex made these poor service quality and theft decisions and was terminated before the business was able to grow into an additional store (still not a possibility at the moment and probably for another couple of years), thus the agreement is now null and void. This agreement was NOT written down or signed by either party (and thus no witnesses either).
Alex is claiming that they were promised to be given (yes, given, not just allowed to buy in) ownership up to 50% of the current business and 20%-30% or so of the value of recent product investments, of which would likely be in excess of $100,000 together. Alex's claim is absolutely not true. There is no paperwork, signatures, witnesses, etc. that would be able to confirm this unless they are going to forge something or have people lie for them. However, I am concerned about this because I otherwise do not have proof that this was not the agreement...
Our two current employees, aware of this situation, and aware of (and witness to) the poor and odd behavior of the former employee that led to their termination (including the theft), are more than willing to testify that Alex's claim is not the case. Alex even spoke to them about thinking about drafting a letter to me about a 7% ownership stake, which they never did. If they were orally promised such a great deal of ownership why would they need to draft a letter for only 7%? Unfortunately Alex has recruited the wrath of their parents (who they lived with for 6 years straight and just moved into an apartment, Alex is in their 30s.) who are going to bankroll them a lawyer. I would imagine that Alex has been telling their parents for some time now (like years) that there was some sort of oral agreement about ownership more in the line of their false claims (to the specifics I am not sure) and they have been able to convince them that their child is telling the truth. So Alex's parents could very well feel like they're telling the truth when they say their child told them about this crazy 50% stake and equity when in fact it was a lie. But how do I prove that? Do I need to prove that?
Here's where it gets a little more complicated - Alex's father (who I miss, he was a good guy) is handy and built a majority of the counters, drawers, storage, display tables, etc. in the storefront for free (he refused payment for the labor, but I paid for all the materials of which I have receipts for). Alex is claiming that because their father built all this furniture, it is "proof" that they were promised part ownership and equity (because why else would their father be so generous?...). But that is not the case, their father just wanted to help and participate in any way he could as he is nearing retirement and wanting to take on new activities. The employee may have been cultivating this false assumption that such construction is proof of promised partnership with their fathefamily from the start, although their father never mentioned anything like that to me.
The personal and professional betrayal aside, I'm concerned about Alex levying such accusations of ridiculous grand promises via oral agreement since it is so hard to confirm either way, and given this person's proclivity of lying (and stealing) I have little trust they will act in good faith if any legal proceedings unfold. I would love any advice on how to possibly handle this issue. Wouldn't the onus be on Alex to prove these grand promises? Given the little I have listed above, what "evidence" might be in their favor? How concerning is it that their parents are fully convinced their child has been wronged (I also know that Alex is telling friends and new coworkers the reason they were fired was because of me not wanting to "give" them part of the business)? It seems ridiculous a parent's perspective would hold much weight in actual legal environments since they would be so biased. Should I be concerned there is no written agreement about any of these promises (including the legitimate one about eventual opportunity to buy in)? Anything about their father volunteering their labor? Is it a good thing that our current employees are willing to testify (on their own volition, I didn't even ask them) about their own first hand experiences and conversations with Alex that contradicts many of Alex's statements? Anything else potentially troublesome I should be aware of?
Yes, lots of lessons learned here - get things in writing for my own protection against such claims. Unfortunately that is not the case here, so advice geared around the fact that no party has much to support their claims (well, I'm only claiming their claim is false) would be most helpful. Please let me know if you have any clarifying questions or need more information for better input. I really appreciate your time and consideration!

i've been looking at transferring since the beginning of my second semester (last semester) of college. I'm attending a big 10 university. i feel completely misplaced. most the kids I'm around all the time are like omg I'm just like so bad at school i got a 89 on my exam >:( and treat me like I'm stupid for having to take college algebra. even explaining i went to a super tiny school that didn't have precalc or anything doesn't change it. i feel so insignificant. i could get past the rat race academic culture; but then i got effing disabled. its gotten so bad I'm looking at getting a wheelchair because my body is literally fighting me on everything. the campus is a 30+ minute walk from the dorms to the other side of campus, and there is a really poor bus system (only city buses, no school owned buses, like 200ish seats at MAX at any point in the day for the main campus loop). so I'm stuck walking a lot. and then there's parts of campus that arent even vehicle accessible. the entire thing is not very accessible or disability friendly, even with a ton of accommodations. and then the courses are SO freaking hard. like, i knew college was hard but some courses have average exam rates of like 40-50 percent. is that even normal?? i feel like everyone is either complaining about insanely high grades or flunking left and right. and I'm only going here because i liked campus (when i toured and WASNT struggling with a mobility disorder) and they offered me so much aid it covered everything and left me with $1600 in spending/savings refund each semester. but I'm not feeling like its worth it to feel crummy and have declining mental health and grades...my friends think I'm overexaggerating though. i get that the financial aid is good, but i got good financial aid (almost full coverage) at most schools i applied to senior year of hs. i think i can get good financial aid again as long as i transfer in state. i don't know if I'm just frustrated or if its actually worth it to transfer somewhere else. all i know is I'm literally in constant pain when I'm there because of trying to get to classes and get meals and just FUNCTION. and my grades are suffering, and so is my mental health, because this whole new chronic illness thing is kicking my ass. my friends think im exaggerating and its just because im depressed and that i should stick it out. but i think maybe they just selfishly don't want me to leave? not sure. please tell me what yall think. im completely lost on what to do.
edit: i also cannot currently graduate in the major I'm in in less than 5 years, which undermines the entire point of the full ride financial aid. did not find that out until like, two weeks after disability diagnosis in October. and now I'm going to have to wait until the end of my (next) sophomore year to submit a major change form because i got a D in the class i needed for switching majors because i was physically struggling to get to class. my fault for not studying harder admittedly but now off track in attempts to switch to biology as well.

i've been looking at transferring since the beginning of my second semester (last semester) of college. I'm attending a big 10 university. i feel completely misplaced. most the kids I'm around all the time are like omg I'm just like so bad at school i got a 89 on my exam >:( and treat me like I'm stupid for having to take college algebra. even explaining i went to a super tiny school that didn't have precalc or anything doesn't change it. i feel so insignificant. i could get past the rat race academic culture; but then i got effing disabled. its gotten so bad I'm looking at getting a wheelchair because my body is literally fighting me on everything. the campus is a 30+ minute walk from the dorms to the other side of campus, and there is a really poor bus system (only city buses, no school owned buses, like 200ish seats at MAX at any point in the day for the main campus loop). so I'm stuck walking a lot. and then there's parts of campus that arent even vehicle accessible. the entire thing is not very accessible or disability friendly, even with a ton of accommodations. and then the courses are SO freaking hard. like, i knew college was hard but some courses have average exam rates of like 40-50 percent. is that even normal?? i feel like everyone is either complaining about insanely high grades or flunking left and right. and I'm only going here because i liked campus (when i toured and WASNT struggling with a mobility disorder) and they offered me so much aid it covered everything and left me with $1600 in spending/savings refund each semester. but I'm not feeling like its worth it to feel crummy and have declining mental health and grades...my friends think I'm overexaggerating though. i get that the financial aid is good, but i got good financial aid (almost full coverage) at most schools i applied to senior year of hs. i think i can get good financial aid again as long as i transfer in state. i don't know if I'm just frustrated or if its actually worth it to transfer somewhere else. all i know is I'm literally in constant pain when I'm there because of trying to get to classes and get meals and just FUNCTION. and my grades are suffering, and so is my mental health, because this whole new chronic illness thing is kicking my ass. my friends think im exaggerating and its just because im depressed and that i should stick it out. but i think maybe they just selfishly don't want me to leave? not sure. please tell me what yall think. im completely lost on what to do.
edit: i also cannot currently graduate in the major I'm in in less than 5 years, which undermines the entire point of the full ride financial aid. did not find that out until like, two weeks after disability diagnosis in October. and now I'm going to have to wait until the end of my (next) sophomore year to submit a major change form because i got a D in the class i needed for switching majors because i was physically struggling to get to class. my fault for not studying harder admittedly but now off track in attempts to switch to biology as well.

Neither of my parents are paying for college and my cost of attendance is about 47k a year (cheapest option for me is about 40k) and Fordham just rejected my financial aid appeal to cover my tuition in full. Can I appeal again? I've applied to over 30 scholarships and gotten none and I don't know what to do at this point really...

Long story short I busted my butt and got accepted into a RN program. Turns out financial aid is saying they won’t pay unless I appeal the satisfactory academic progress because I have too many withdrawals. I’m in the navy reserves, had a complicated pregnancy in 2022 where I went into labor at 36 weeks, and I JUST got diagnosed with adhd after years of being misdiagnosed with depression and anxiety. I went through years of medications and therapists and got nowhere. I kept having allergic reactions and everything. How do I go about getting my documentation? I bounced around so much from doctor to doctor I’m not even sure how to get ahold of most of them? And the college wants a separate reason and documentation for each semester. For me it’s summer 2020, fall 2020, fall 2021, and summer 2022 (this is the semester I was pregnant). They said they’re not picky but if I submit notarized letter to make sure they’re signed and dated. Am I over thinking this? I really can’t afford nursing school without financial aid

Myrtle Beach SC News article dated May 15, 2024
Documents Invalid & A.I. Endorsement
FOR REDDITORS UNABLE TO OPEN LINKS
Mica Miller mental health documents not legally notarized
Members of Attorney Tom Winslow’s team sent us a statement that legal medical filings surrounding the Mica Miller mental health issues were not legally notarized.
Mica Miller died of what has been ruled a suicide at Lumber River State Park on April 27th. The FBI is now investigating the case.
Suicide Claims, Mica Miller Mental Health Records, And Notary Issues
Despite the fact Pastor JP Miller admitted from the pulpit to being suicidal in October 2023, just two months later JP was able to receive a health care power of attorney from Mica signed Dec. 5. Tom Winslow, of Winslow Law, was the attorney that orchestrated this legal filing.
Texts received by MyrtleBeachSC News show that Power of Attorney documents were supposedly signed by Mica Miller on December 4th at the Solid Rock church. However, those documents were not notarized by Winslow Law employees (Briyana and Tiffany) until the next day at Winslow’s law office.
According to the S.C. Secretary of State, a notary must be present at the actual signing of such documents to prevent fraud.
Two months later, according to the Myrtle Beach Police Department, Mica was “involuntarily hospitalized” on Feb. 8, 2024. But what makes the case even more odd is that JP’s power of attorney documents were not filed until March 20, 2024, despite having been signed and notarized three months prior.
Is Tom Winslow An Expert At Artificial Intelligence - Deep Fake Voice Audio?
Today, we report on Tom Winslow A.I. claims as he touts the importance of A.I. in his law practice. At the bottom of this article, readers can view terrifying texts sent out by J.P. Miller to Mica in November 2022.
We recently published that Pastor JP Miller, and his attorney, Tom Winslow were persons of interest in the Mica Miller “Suicide” FBI probe. Some readers questioned how we could report this with such confidence at that time.
We need to point out that Tom Winslow and JP Miller are not charged with any crimes, and even if they should be, they are considered innocent until proven guilty.
JP Millers Documented Sexual Encounters
According to DailyMail: “Miller’s first wife, Alison, filed for divorce in 2015 after discovering he was having an affair with Mica, who was 14 years his junior.” Alison also claimed that “Miller had an addiction to prostitutes and had ‘sexual encounters’ with underage girls.” She continued, “He had also confessed to me and other staff members of the church that he had sexual encounters with young females from the church, who were under the age of 16.”
The lawyer representing JP Miller in his first divorce case was S.C. State Representative Val Guest.
Mica's Statements About Suicide
Mica’s sister, Sierra Francis, said, “Mica stated to me on many occasions, ‘If I end up with a bullet in my head’, it was JP,” referring to her husband, John Paul Miller. In a written affidavit, Seirra writes, “I know my sister to have expressed the abuse and violence against her by her husband to others, including family members and members of the church congregation. My sister also expressed to me that she was fearful that she would not make it to the divorce and that her life would be taken from her.”
JP Miller Attorney Tom Winslow A.I Endorsement
In the video above, Tom Winslow touts that his law practice is an advocate for the use of Artificial Intelligence. Winslow makes it a part of his practice.
Winslow is a member of Solid Rock Church. His wife is part of the praise team.
Also, as we reported yesterday, Attorney Tom Winslow owns 200 acres of land that backs up to the state park area where Mica’s body was found.
All of this is circumstantial, at best, but it is also very curious.
*The Call Made By Mica At Lumber River State Park?
Mica wrote to her attorney: “Since the day we became husband and wife, I have been abused in every way I can think of. Emotionally, sexually, spiritually, financially and physically. He has harassed me physically and electronically with letters, phone calls, emails and texts, hacking my emails, hacking my personal Facebook and impersonating me. Using my stolen phone to send texts and emails out to church members pretending to be me, texting friends and family saying that I am sleeping with teenagers from our church, and showing up in person at places around town … to having installed three different tracking devices on my vehicle.”
MyrtleBeachSC News learned that JP was in possession of a mobile phone he had stolen from Mica. Anyone who has left an outgoing, “I am not available now” message on their phone, knows that a recorded version of her voice was likely on that mobile phone.
According to the Robeson County Sherriff, at 2:54 p.m., a 911 call was made from Lumber River State Park parking lot.
Miller is calm throughout the call, asking a dispatcher if her phone can be tracked. The operator asks for Miller’s phone number and location, and then why she was calling.
“I’m about to kill myself, and I just want my family to know where to find me,” she replies.
How Deep Fake A.I. Voice Works
Was the Tom Winslow A.I. knowledge put to use in this matter?
Audio Capture And Signal Processing
The first step in AI voice recognition is audio capture. This is where the spoken words are recorded.
The audio is then processed to remove any background noise. This ensures that the system can clearly hear the spoken words.
Signal processing also involves enhancing the quality of the audio. This makes it easier for the system to recognize the speech patterns.
Pattern Recognition And Machine Learning
Pattern recognition is the core of AI voice recognition. It’s the process of identifying the spoken words in the audio signal.
Machine learning plays a crucial role in this process. It helps the system learn and improve its ability to recognize speech patterns.
Over time, the system becomes more accurate. It learns to understand different accents, dialects, and even nuances in speech.
Real-World Examples Of Deep Fake A.I.
AI voice recognition is not a futuristic concept. It’s already a part of our daily lives.
You may have interacted with it without even realizing. It’s present in many devices and applications we use every day.
Miller Says Church Services Are As Usual
In a social media post yesterday, Miller states, “Solid Rock is alive and well and we are moving forward with our new building project. We are excited to see all members at our meeting May 19th at 5 p.m.
The FBI is just starting this investigation and no one knows where it will lead. The Tom Winslow A.I. practices may only prove to be circumstantial. The Mica Miller mental health records are sure to play a roll in this saga. Time will tell where this leads.
Question: Were Public Posts Like This One From JP Miller Abusive?
Miller, pastor at Solid Rock Church in Myrtle Beach, told his sister-in-law that he would be arriving at her house at 1 a.m. on November 17, 2022, where Mica was visiting.
After Sierra warned that he wouldn’t be allowed in their home, he challenged her, saying ‘you can call the cops’.
A few moments later, he replied: “I’m armed. I’m ready. Mica can fix all of this“, to which Sierra replied: “THIS doesn’t help anything. Threats and intimidation only make things worse.”
‘I don’t care (idc) Driving. I can’t text. Thanks.’ said the disgraced pastor.
In response, Miller replied, “Hahaha” when told cops wouldn’t be called if he stayed home.