I have a friend who is 16. She lost her mother at a younger age and was recently dating a 20 year old. He got her pregnant. I helped her overcome the terrible shame and other emotions she was feeling, as well as break up with this creep. She named her baby boy after me. Recently she was raped by her best female friend. She said they were like sisters. Her child stopped moving inside of her. Today she went to the doctor and he pronounced Thomas, her little unborn child dead due to physical damage caused by the rape. Her best friend raped her and killed her child. She is broken. She keeps saying that she is going to kill her "friend". I'm trying to be there for her. I asked her to call me because it was scaring me. She said no because she will be in prison tonight. She won't answer my calls or texts. Please, I'm begging you pray for her. Her name is Angel if that helps but please I'm so desperate for help. “Also, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about something and pray for it, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. This is true because if two or three people come together in my name, I am there with them.”

It is Jesus, He's the truth. His love always finds its way ❤. I was rock bottom completely broken, tried everything, literally everything, for my depression. That's when He's the closest, when our spirit and worldly beliefs are shattered.
I did not truly believe before, I became agnostic because of catholic church hurt and other people's sin that hurt me, and he was the ONLY one who answered my cries for help, by His grace he knocked when I was at my worst.
"Weird" Christian videos started popping suddenly all over YouTube and my social media when I never searched for those, roughly a week before surrendering to Him, and I felt attracted to watch them. Each video of worship, prayer, deliverance from demons in the name of Jesus, I felt something in my body, goosebumps, chills, and started crying everytime. I realized there was true power in His name.
When I CONFESSED from my mouth and BELIEVED in my heart, that He is my Lord and Savior, died for our sins and rose on the 3rd day (Romans 10:9), I started sobbing and crying for hours.
He delivered me from 20 years of depression, pride, sin, pornography, a massive weight came off and I was born again.❤ The Holy Spirit filled me, and since then (1 year ago), I feel HIS immense love and peace everyday, words cannot describe it, it is Heaven on earth everyday for me. Never went back to porn, I was addicted to it, depression instantly gone the next day.
My life completely changed, my thoughts completely changed, I was a new creature. After that I naturally wanted to read His word, and EVERYTHING in the Bible made sense to me.
He is the truth, the way, and life. He is the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end. I'd lay my earthly life today, because I KNOW I'll be with HIM. ❤ We are saved by His Grace through Faith in Him (Ephesians 2:8-9), and then the good fruits will come naturally thanks to the Holy Spirit in us.
We are in the last days people, wake up! Satan is all over this world, spiritual warfare is real, only Jesus Christ can save us!
That is why the world mocks the Cross and the christians, you see it everywhere now.
Satan sold SO MANY LIES to everyone, created substitutes (alcohol, drugs, new age, witchcraft, islam) to separate us from Jesus, but Jesus always wins. When you are saved and experience His love, you will never to back to the vomit (sin).
Demons tremble and flee from Him, we have authority over everything through Jesus name. Pray over everyone and stomp on the devil. 🙏
Heartfelt Prayers to Our Father in Jesus name will be heard and He will answer according to His will. Amen, brothers and sisters. ✝️

The Big List

Prices are firm. Please only redeem the portion of a code you are paying for. All codes are for immediate redemption. All Disney & Sony codes include points unless otherwise noted. As of 4/01/2024 all Google Play options have been removed from Disney codes.
I accept Cashapp, Venmo, Zelle & PayPal F&F without any notes. Comment & pm if interested. Thanks!

🦝

MISC

X-Men Trilogy HD [X-Men, X2 & The Last Stand] $8 (MA)

🦝

$5 4K UHD

John Wick 1-3 (iTunes)

🦝

$4 4K UHD

Big Lebowski, The (iTunes/ports)
Black Panther (MA + 200 points)
Captain Marvel (MA + 200 points)
Despicable Me [2010] (iTunes/ports)
Expendables 4 (Vudu or iTunes)
Frozen 2 [2019] (MA + 200 points)
Gone Girl [2014] (iTunes/ports)
Guardians Of The Galaxy [2014] (MA + 200 points)
Halloween [2018] (MA)
Jungleland [2020] (iTunes)
Maleficent: Mistress Of Evil (MA + 200 points)
Scream [2022] (Vudu or iTunes)
Tangled [2010] (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Titanic [1997] (iTunes)

🦝

$5 HD

Adventures Of Ichabod & Mr. Toad, The [1949] (MA + 150 points)
Banshee season 2 (iTunes)
Fear The Walking Dead season 2 (Vudu)
Fear The Walking Dead season 4 (Vudu)
Fear The Walking Dead season 5 (Vudu)
Fear The Walking Dead season 6 (Vudu)
Fear The Walking Dead season 7 (Vudu) or all 5 for $20
Five Nights At Freddy's [2023] (MA)
Groundhog Day [1993] + Stripes [1981] double feature (MA)
Hunchback Of Notre Dame, The [1996] (MA + 150 points)
Hunchback Of Notre Dame 2, The [2002] (MA + 150 points)
Lady & The Tramp II: Scamps Adventure [2001] (MA + 150 points)
Rob Zombie Trilogy [House Of 1,000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects [Unrated] & 3 From Hell [Unrated] (MA)
Silent Night, Deadly Night 3,4 & 5 (Vudu)
Veep season 5 (iTunes)
Veep season 6 (iTunes)

🦝

$4 HD

300 Spartans, The (MA)
BFG, The [2016] (MA + 150 points)
Color Purple, The [2023] (MA)
Fox & The Hound 2, The [2006] (MA + 150 points)
Ruby Gillman: Teenage Kraken [2023] (MA)

🦝

$3️⃣ Movies

$3 4K UHD

Angel Has Fallen (Vudu or iTunes)
Baywatch (Vudu)
Bourne Identity, The [2002] (iTunes/ports)
Cabin In The Woods, The (Vudu)
Doctor Strange (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Dredd (Vudu)
Frozen 2 [2019] (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Guardians Of The Galaxy [2014] (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
Logan Lucky [2017] (iTunes/ports)
Moana (iTunes/ports + 150 points)
mother! [2017] (iTunes)
Prometheus [2012] (iTunes/ports)
Robin Hood [2018] (Vudu)
Sicario (Vudu)
Spy Who Dumped Me, The (Vudu or iTunes)
Star Wars: The Last Jedi (MA + 200 points)
Top Gun (iTunes)

🦝

$3 HD

Avatar: The Way Of Water (MA + 150 points)
Baby Driver [2017] (MA + Sony points)
Bloodshot [2020] (MA + Sony points)
Bridge Of Spies [2015] (MA + 150 points)
Call Me By Your Name (MA + Sony points)
Candyman: Day Of The Dead (Vudu or Google Play)
Cats & Dogs 3: Paws Unite (MA)
Disneynature: Bears [2014] (MA + 150 points)
Divergent Series Trilogy, The [Divergent, Insurgent & Allegiant] (Vudu or Google Play)
Fruitvale Station (Vudu)
Glass [2019] (MA)
Goosebumps [2018] (MA + Sony points)
Grand Budapest Hotel, The (MA or Google Play/ports)
Grown Ups 2 (MA + Sony points)
Halloween Kills [2021] (MA)
Hocus Pocus (MA + 150 points/no iTunes option)
Holmes & Watson [2018] (MA + Sony points)
Hundred Foot Journey, The [2014] (MA + 150 points)
Into The Woods [2014] (MA + 150 points)
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (Vudu)
Killing Gunther (Vudu)
Lion King, The [1994] (MA + 150 points)
Little House On The Prairie season 5 (Vudu)
Midsommar [A24] (Vudu or Google Play)
Mindcage (Vudu or iTunes)
Money Monster [2016] (MA + Sony points)
Nurse Jackie season 7 (Vudu)
Orange Is The New Black season 1 (Vudu)
Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters (iTunes/ports)
Pete's Dragon [2016] (MA + 150 points)
Planes: Fire & Rescue [2014] (MA + 150 points)
Pride + Prejudice + Zombies [2016] (MA + Sony points)
Public Enemies [2009] (MA)
Punisher, The [2004] (Vudu or Google Play)
Queen Of Katwe [2016] (MA + 150 points)
Robin Hood [1973] (MA + 150 points)
Scoob! [2020] (MA)
Secret Life Of Pets 2, The [2019] (MA)
Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs [1937] (MA + 150 points)
Spider-Man: Into The Spiderverse (MA + Sony points)
Secret: Dare To Dream, The (Vudu, iTunes or Google Play)
Super Mario Bros. Movie, The [2023] (MA)
Tyler Perry's Madea Goes To Jail (Vudu or Google Play)
Us [2019] (MA)
Vanishing, The [2019] (Vudu or Google Play)
Venture Bros: Radiant Is The Blood Of The Baboon Heart [2023] (MA)
Walking Dead season 9, The (Vudu or Google Play)
Walking Dead season 10, The (Vudu or Google Play)
Way Way Back, The [2013] (MA or Google Play/ports)
Whiplash [2014] (MA + Sony points)

🦝

$2 CODES

💲2 HD

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers Of Benghazi (iTunes 4K)
31 [2016] (Vudu)
3 From Hell [Unrated] (Vudu 4K or iTunes 4K)
About Last Night [2014] (MA + Sony points)
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (MA)
Action Point [2018] (Vudu)
Admission [2013] (iTunes/ports)
Adventures Of Tintin, The (Vudu or iTunes)
After Earth [2013] (MA + Sony points)
Age Of Adaline, The (Vudu, iTunes or Google Play)
Alien Covenant (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA/GP)
Allied [2016] (iTunes 4K)
Aloha [2015] (MA + Sony points)
Alpha [2018] (MA + Sony points)
Alpha & Omega 2: A Howl-lday Adventure (Vudu)
Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Road Chip (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
American Girl: Isabelle Dances Into The Spotlight (MA)
American Hustle [2013] (MA + Sony points)
American Reunion [Unrated] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (Vudu or iTunes)
Annie [2014] (MA + Sony points)
Arrival [2016] (Vudu)
Assassin's Creed (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Atomic Blonde (MA)
Avengers: Infinity War (MA + 150 points/no iTunes option)
Battleship [2012] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Baywatch (iTunes 4K)
Beauty & The Beast [2017] (MA + 150 points/iTunes option is expired)
Beirut [2018] (MA)
Ben-Hur [2016] (Vudu)
Best Man Holiday, The [2013] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Blackhat [2015] (iTunes/ports)
Bohemian Rhapsody (MA or Google Play/ports)
Book Club [2018] (iTunes 4K)
Boss Baby, The [2017] (MA)
Bourne Legacy, The (iTunes/ports 4K)
Boy, The [2016] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Boyhood [2014] (iTunes)
Boy Next Door, The [2015] (iTunes/ports)
Breakthrough [2019] (MA or Google Play/ports)
Bridesmaids [Theatrical] (iTunes/ports)
Broken City [2013] (MA)
Bumblebee (Vudu)
Cabin In The Woods, The (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Captain America: Civil War (MA only/no points or iTunes option)
Captain Phillips [2013] (MA + Sony points)
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (MA)
Case For Christ, The [2017] (MA)
Choice, The [2016] (Vudu or iTunes)
Company Of Heroes [2013] (MA)
Contraband (iTunes/ports)
Curse Of Chucky [2013] [Unrated] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Daddy's Home (iTunes 4K)
Dark Tower, The [2017] (MA + Sony points)
Dead Again In Tombstone [2017] (MA)
Dead In Tombstone [Unrated] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Dead Man Down [2013] (MA)
Deepwater Horizon (iTunes 4K)
Despicable Me 2 (iTunes/ports 4K)
Despicable Me 3 (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Devil's Due [2014] (MA or Google Play/ports)
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: Dog Days (MA, iTunes or Google Play/ports)
Django Unchained (Vudu)
Downton Abbey [2019] (MA)
Dracula Untold (iTunes/ports 4K)
Dragonheart 3: The Sorcerer's Curse (iTunes/ports)
Dredd [2012] (Vudu)
Dr. Seuss’ How The Grinch Stole Christmas [2000] (MA)
Duff, The (iTunes or Google Play)
Emoji Movie, The [2017] (MA + Sony points)
Ender's Game (iTunes 4K or Vudu/GP HD)
Epic [2013] (MA)
Equalizer, The [2014] (MA + Sony points)
Equalizer 2, The (MA + Sony points)
Escape From Planet Earth (Vudu)
Ex Machina (Vudu)
Exodus: Gods & Kings (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift, The (iTunes/ports 4K)
Fate Of The Furious [F8] [Theatrical] (MA 4K)
Fences [2016] (iTunes 4K or Vudu HD)
Fifty Shades Darker [2017] [Unrated] (MA 4K)
Fifty Shades Of Grey (iTunes/ports 4K)
Finding Dory (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA + 150 points)
Flight [2012] (Vudu or iTunes)
Fortress [2021] (Vudu or Google Play)
Frozen [2013] (iTunes/ports 4K+ 150 points)
Fury [2014] (MA + Sony points)
Get Out [2017] (MA)
Ghost Team One [2013] (Vudu or iTunes)
Gifted [2017] (MA or Google Play/ports, iTunes option is expired)
God Bless The Broken Road (Vudu or Google Play)
Gods Not Dead 2 [2016] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Gods Of Egypt (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Grey, The [2012] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol.2 (MA + 150 points/no iTunes option)
Guilt Trip, The [2012] (Vudu)
Hacksaw Ridge (Vudu or Google Play/iTunes option expired)
Hail, Caesar [2016] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Halloween [2018] (MA)
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters [Unrated] (iTunes)
Hateful Eight, The (Vudu or Google Play)
Heat, The [2013] [Theatrical] (MA or Google Play/ports)
Hell Or High Water (Vudu or Google Play)
Hercules [2014] (iTunes 4K or Vudu HD)
Hitman's Bodyguard, The (Vudu or Google Play/iTunes option is expired)
Home [2015] [DreamWorks] (MA)
Homefront [2013] (iTunes/ports)
Honey 2 [2011] (MA)
How To Train Your Dragon 2 (MA)
Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, The (iTunes 4K or Google Play HD)
Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2, The (Vudu)
Instant Family (iTunes 4K)
Internship, The [2013] (MA or Google Play/ports)
Interstellar (Vudu or Google Play)
Invisible Man, The [1933] (MA)
It Follows [2015] (Vudu)
Jackass 3 [Theatrical] (Vudu or iTunes)
Jack Reacher (Vudu)
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (Vudu)
Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (iTunes 4K)
Jason Bourne [2016] (iTunes/ports 4K)
John Henry [2020] (Vudu)
John Wick (iTunes 4K)
John Wick 1 & 2 (Vudu or Google Play)
John Wick: Chapter 2 (iTunes 4K)
John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum (iTunes 4K) or all 3 for $5
Joy [2015] (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle (MA + Sony points)
Jurassic World (iTunes/ports 4K)
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (MA)
Justice [2017] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Kick-Ass 2 [2013] (MA)
Kidnap [2017] (iTunes/ports)
Killer Elite (iTunes/ports)
Kingsman: The Secret Service (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Last Knights [2015] (Vudu)
Last Vegas [2013] (MA + Sony points)
Last Witch Hunter, The [2015] (iTunes 4K or Google Play)
Let's Be Cops [2014] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Life Of Pi (iTunes/ports 4K)
Lockout [2012] [Unrated] (MA + Sony points)
Lone Survivor [2013] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Longest Ride, The (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Lorax, The [2012] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Love, Simon [2018] (MA)
Lucy [2014] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Maleficent (iTunes/ports 4K + 150 points)
Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again [2018] (MA)
Marauders (Vudu)
Martian, The [2015] [Theatrical] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Mary Poppins [1964] (MA + 150 points)
Maze Runner, The [2014] (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Mechanic: Resurrection (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Men In Black 3 (MA + Sony points)
MI-5 [2015] (Vudu)
Mindgamers [2017] (MA)
Miracles From Heaven (MA + Sony points)
Mission Impossible: Fallout (iTunes 4K)
Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Monuments Men, The [2014] (MA + Sony points)
Mortal Instruments: The City Of Bones, The [2014] (MA + Sony points)
Mother's Day [2016] (MA)
Mountain Between Us, The [2017] (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Mummy, The [2017] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Murder On The Orient Express [2017] (MA or Google Play/ports)
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 (iTunes/ports)
Neighbors [2014] (iTunes/ports)
Night At The Museum: Secret Of The Tomb (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Noah [2014] (Vudu)
Non-Stop [2014] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Norm Of The North (Vudu or iTunes)
Now You See Me 2 (iTunes 4K)
Nut Job, The [2014] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Oblivion [2013] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Ouija [2014] (MA)
Overlord [2018] (Vudu)
Oz: The Great & Powerful (MA + 100 points)
Paddington (Vudu)
Paranormal Activity [2009] [Theatrical] (iTunes)
Paranormal Activity 2 [Unrated Director's Cut] (Vudu or iTunes)
Paranormal Activity 3 [Extended] (Vudu or iTunes)
Paranormal Activity 4 [Unrated] (iTunes)
Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones [Theatrical] (iTunes)
Passengers [2016] (MA + Sony points)
Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters (MA or Google Play/ports)
Pet Sematary [2019] (iTunes 4K or Vudu HD)
Pitch Perfect (iTunes/ports 4K)
Playing With Fire (iTunes 4K or Vudu HD)
Predator, The [2018] (MA or Google Play/ports)
Prometheus (MA or Google Play/ports, no iTunes option)
Proud Mary [2018] (MA)
Quiet Place, A [2018] (iTunes 4K)
Ralph Breaks The Internet (MA + 150 points/no iTunes option)
Red Dawn [2012] (Vudu or Google Play)
Redemption [2013] (Vudu)
Replicas [2019] (iTunes 4K or Vudu/GP HD)
Riddick [Unrated] (MA)
Rings [2017] (Vudu)
R.I.P.D. Rest In Peace Department (iTunes/ports 4K)
Rise Of The Guardians [2011] (MA)
Risen [2016] (MA + Sony points)
Robin Hood [2018] (iTunes 4K or Vudu/GP HD)
Rock Dog (iTunes)
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (iTunes/ports 4K + 150 points)
Roman J. Israel, Esq [2017] (MA + Sony points)
Rush [2013] (MA) PENDING
Saban's Power Rangers (iTunes 4K or Vudu/GP HD)
Savages [2012] [Theatrical] (iTunes/ports)
Scorpion King 3: Battle For Redemption (iTunes/ports)
Secret Life Of Pets, The (MA 4K or iTunes/ports 4K)
Seventh Son [2015] (iTunes/ports)
Sex Tape [2014] (MA + Sony points)
Show Dogs [2018] (MA)
Silver Linings Playbook (Vudu or Google Play)
Sing [2016] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Sinister (Vudu, iTunes or Google Play)
Sisters [2015] [Unrated] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Skyscraper [2018] (MA)
Sparkle [2012] (MA)
Spider-Man: Homecoming [2017] (MA + Sony points)
Spider-Man: No Way Home [2021] (MA + Sony points)
Split [2017] (MA)
Spy [2015] [Unrated] (MA, iTunes or Google Play/ports)
Star Trek [2009] (iTunes 4K)
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA + 150 points)
Step Up All In [2014] (Vudu)
Step Up Revolution (Vudu or Google Play)
Straight Outta Compton [Unrated] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Super 8 (Vudu)
Super Buddies (MA without points)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles [2014] (iTunes 4K or Vudu HD)
Terminator: Genisys (iTunes 4K)
Top Gun (Vudu)
Total Recall [2012] [Theatrical & Director's Cut] (MA + Sony points)
Tower Heist [Theatrical] (iTunes/ports)
Tremors: A Cold Day In Hell (MA)
True Blood season 4 (iTunes)
True Grit [2010] (Vudu or iTunes)
Tyler Perry's A Madea Family Funeral (Vudu, iTunes or Google Play)
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (iTunes 4K)
Uncle Drew [2018] (iTunes 4K or Vudu/GP HD)
Underworld: Blood Wars (MA + Sony points)
Vendetta [2016] (Vudu)
Venom [2018] (MA + Sony points)
Walk Among The Tombstones, A (iTunes/ports)
Walking With Dinosaurs: The Movie (MA, iTunes or Google Play/ports)
War Room [2015] (MA + Sony points)
Why Him? [2016] (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Wolf Of Wall Street, The (Vudu)
Woman In Black, The [2012] (MA)
Wonder [2017] (Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K)
Wonder Park [2019] (iTunes 4K or Vudu HD)
Woodlawn [2015] (MA or iTunes/ports)
X-Men: Apocalypse (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA)
Your Highness [2011] [Unrated] (iTunes/ports)
Zootopia (MA without points)

🦝

💲2 SD

127 Hours (iTunes/ports)
12 Rounds [2009] [Extreme Cut] (iTunes/ports)
Aliens In The Attic (iTunes/ports)
Amelia (iTunes/ports)
Beasts Of The Southern Wild (iTunes/ports)
Black Swan (iTunes/ports)
Date Night [Unrated Extended Edition] (iTunes/ports)
Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears A Who! (ITunes/ports)
Jumper [2008] (iTunes/ports)
Percy Jackson double feature [Lightning Thief & Sea of Monsters] (MA)
Ramona & Beezus (iTunes/ports)
Street Kings (iTunes/ports)
Three Stooges: The Movie, The [2012] (iTunes/ports)

🦝

$1 Codes

$1 HD

Alex Cross (Vudu)
Bad Grandpa [Theatrical] (Vudu or iTunes)
Bad Moms (iTunes/ports)
Battleship [2012] (MA)
Big Hero 6 (Google Play/ports)
Book Club (Vudu)
Bourne Legacy, The (MA)
Bring It On: Worldwide Cheersmack [2017] (iTunes/ports)
Deadpool (iTunes/ports 4K or HD MA/GP)
Divergent (iTunes 4K or Vudu/GP HD)
Divergent Series: Insurgent, The (iTunes 4K or Vudu/GP HD)
Duff, The [2015] (Vudu)
Everest [2015] (MA)
Expendables 2, The (iTunes 4K or Vudu/GP HD)
Expendables 3, The [Theatrical] (iTunes 4K or Google Play HD)
Fast & Furious 6, The [Extended] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Fast & The Furious, The [2001] (MA)
Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift, The (MA)
Fast Five [Extended] (MA)
Fate Of The Furious, The [8] [Theatrical or Extended] (MA)
Frozen: Sing Along Edition (MA without points)
Furious 7 [Extended] (iTunes/ports 4K)
Ghost In The Shell [2017] (Vudu)
G.I. Joe: Retaliation (Vudu)
Girls Trip [2017] (MA)
Hillsong: Let Hope Rise [2016] (MA or iTunes/ports)
Hunger Games, The [2012] (iTunes 4K)
Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, The (Vudu)
Huntsman: Winter's War, The [2016] [Extended] (MA)
Identity Thief [2013] [Theatrical] (iTunes/ports)
I, Frankenstein (Vudu, iTunes or Google Play)
Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (Vudu)
Jason Bourne (MA)
Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain (Vudu)
Leprechaun: Origins (Vudu)
Les Misérables [2012] (MA)
Minions [2015] (MA)
Mission Impossible: Fallout (Vudu)
Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (Vudu)
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (Vudu) or both for $2.50
Now You See Me [Extended] (iTunes)
Oblivion [2013] (MA)
Parental Guidance [2012] (MA)
Perks Of Being A Wallflower, The (Vudu or Google Play)
Pitch Perfect (MA)
Quiet Place, A (Vudu)
Ride Along 2 (MA)
RIPD Rest In Peace Department (MA)
Safe [2012] (Vudu or Google Play)
Secret Life Of Pets, The (MA)
Selma (iTunes)
Shack, The [2017] (iTunes)
Skyfall (Vudu or Google Play)
Snitch (iTunes 4K or Vudu/Google Play HD)
Star Trek: Beyond (Vudu)
Ted [Unrated] (MA) or [Theatrical] (iTunes/ports)
Terminator: Genisys (Vudu)
Transformers: Age Of Extinction (iTunes 4K)
Transformers: Dark Of The Moon (Vudu)
Trolls [2017] (MA)
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (iTunes 4K)
Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection (iTunes)
Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions Of A Marriage Counselor (Vudu or Google Play)
Unbroken [2014] (MA)
Warm Bodies (Vudu)
What To Expect When You're Expecting (iTunes)
World War Z (Vudu)
Zootopia (Google Play/ports)

🦝

💲1 SD

21 Jump Street (MA + Sony points)
Act Of Valor (iTunes)
After Earth [2013] (MA + Sony points)
Alpha [2018] (MA + Sony points)
Amazing Spider-Man 2, The [2014] (MA + Sony points)
American Hustle [2013] (MA + Sony points)
Bad Boys For Life [2020] (MA + Sony points)
Big Mommas Like Father, Like Son (iTunes/ports)
Captain Phillips (MA + Sony points)
Charlie's Angels [2019] (MA + Sony points)
Concussion [2015] (MA + Sony points)
Dirty 30 (Vudu)
Dog's Way Home, A [2019] (MA + Sony points)
Evil Dead [2013] (MA + Sony points)
Forbidden Kingdom, The (iTunes)
Glee: The Concert (iTunes/ports)
Goosebumps 2 [2018] (MA + Sony points)
Grown Ups 2 (MA + Sony points)
Hangover, The [2009] [Theatrical] (iTunes/ports)
Haywire (iTunes)
Heat, The [2013] (iTunes/ports SD)
Here Comes The Boom [2012] (MA + Sony points)
Hotel Transylvania 3 (MA + Sony points)
Ice Age: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs (iTunes/ports)
Immortals [2011] (iTunes)
Insidious: Chapter 3 (MA + Sony points)
Insidious: The Last Key (MA + Sony points)
Insidious: The Red Door [2023] (MA + Sony points)
Journey To Bethlehem [2023] (MA + Sony points)
Jumanji: The Next Level (MA + Sony points)
Knight & Day (iTunes/ports)
Men In Black III [2012] (MA + Sony points)
Mirror Mirror [2012] (iTunes)
Mortal Instruments: The City Of Bones (MA + Sony points)
Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian (iTunes/ports)
Once Upon A Time In Hollywood [2019] (MA + Sony points)
Overcomer [2019] (MA + Sony points)
Parker [2013] (MA + Sony points)
Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (iTunes/ports)
Perfect Guy, The [2015] (MA + Sony points)
Perks Of Being A Wallflower, The (iTunes SD only)
Peter Rabbit [2018] (MA + Sony points)
Predators [2010] (iTunes/ports)
Public Enemies [2009] (iTunes/ports)
Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes (iTunes/ports)
Robin Hood [2010] [Unrated] (iTunes/ports)
Safe Haven (iTunes)
Scoob [2020] (MA)
Shallows, The [2016] (MA + 150 points)
Sparkle [2012] (MA)
Spider-Man: Far From Home [2019] (MA + Sony points)
Spider-Man: Into The Spiderverse (MA + Sony points)
Spider-Man: No Way Home [2021] (MA + Sony points)
Star, The [2017] (MA + Sony points)
Taken [2009] [Extended Cut] (iTunes/ports)
Thousand Words, A [2012] (Vudu)
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (Vudu SD only or iTunes SD only)
Tyler Perry's Madea's Tough Love (Vudu)
Underworld: Awakening (MA + Sony points)
Venom: Let There Be Carnage (MA + Sony points)
Vow, The [2012] (MA + Sony points)
Zombieland: Double Tap (MA + Sony points)

🦝

Super Cheap SD & HD Codes

All movies are 3 for $1 each/must spend at least $1 on total order.
Cabin In The Woods, The (Vudu SD only)
Croods, The (iTunes/ports SD)
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: Dog Days (iTunes/ports SD)
Expendables 2, The (Vudu SD only or iTunes SD only)
Expendables 3, The [Unrated] (iTunes HD only)
Fast Five [Extended] (iTunes/ports HD)
Hunger Games, The (Vudu SD or iTunes SD only)
Hunger Games: Catching Fire, The (Vudu HD only)
John Wick 3 (Google Play HD only)
Jurassic World (MA ports HD)
Life Of Pi (iTunes/ports SD)
Mechanic: Resurrection (Vudu SD only)
Now You See Me 2 (Vudu SD only)
Star Trek: Into Darkness (Vudu HD only)
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Google Play/ports HD)
Transformers: Age Of Extinction (Vudu HD only)
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (Vudu SD only)
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (Vudu SD only)

**TL;DR;** : BFF moves to different city, starts to act differently, wears our friendship down over a series of slights, plans trip to my dream locale without telling me, during my birthday. Now wants to talk and hang out since I've gone low contact.
TW: Infidelity.
General Warning: Long AF, and this is the abridged version if you can believe it.
So my closest friend since High School, someone I considered closer than a brother, that I have been through so much with, worked with, traveled with, lived with, cried with. My kindred spirit, who's been by my side for over half of the total time I have existed. A person who shaped my growth, and I his (or so I thought), in the past 3 or so years has become borderline unrecognizable to me, and it has eaten my spirit alive.
So...essentially I could write a book about my relationship with this person, but I'll try to keep things pointed and brief. I'll refer to him as Dan. Things between us had been solid for years, and we enjoyed a closeness and camaraderie on par with the likes of Troy & Abed, or Frodo & Sam, until after a period of rising tension between him and his first wife. He divorced her for "not having enough direction in life" is essentially how he put it, which, fair enough, I knew she wasn't perfect and likely needed some therapy to improve her mind set and outlook, but I did consider her a friend, and was remorseful that they couldn't make it work. During this time I let him stay with me and my gf (I'll refer to her as Lisa) for about a month rent free while he and his ex were sorting everything out,
Eventually he moves to the next city over and condemns our hometown as being some worthless crime-infested rathole, which I assume stems from the animosity of his divorce so I let him have that. Only he started to mention some version of that every time he came to visit, now I'm not smitten with this place or anything, but what he describes is a gross exaggeration, there are tons of worse places to live and this is where my career is, so I don't love the idea of constantly being down on it. Ironically the city he moved to is considered our "Sister City" and I personally do not see much of a difference between the two.
Anyway, eventually he meets a nice girl (I'll refer to her as Amy) and they begin dating, Amy, Lisa, and I actually develop a great rapport over shared interests pretty quickly, and while I'm happy to have a new friend, I begin to resent how little effort Dan's ever put into getting to know Lisa. Lisa admits to me privately that she occasionally feels excluded by him sometimes, but she says she gets enough attention from myself and Amy that it's no big deal and we're able to do many things as a 4-person group for awhile.
This dynamic would regrettably sour during a trip to a major city for a few days, just the 4 of us again. Where a singular innocuous interaction between Lisa and Dan would apparently cause him to cultivate resentment for her, the trip itself would go fine, but upon our return Dan would tell me he doesn't think Lisa likes him, and how he didn't appreciate her insulting his driving. Though the "insult" he was referring to was a harmless tease about some minor detail that both myself, Amy, and I'm pretty sure he himself had laughed at, at the time.
I explained how I felt he was misinterpreting some things, and to his credit, he did relent over that specific instance, but he and Lisa still have no relationship to speak of and hardly communicate when they're around each other at all, whereas, in stark contrast, I'll get the occasional random text from Amy about our shared interests, and she has become almost like a sister to me in the 3 years she and Dan have been together. Dan and Lisa are both aware of our rapport, and both encourage it, but I still try to keep out casual chats to a minimum (but I never just outright ignore her either), because I dislike how Dan refuses to even try to really befriend Lisa. Yet paradoxically he almost demands that I try to cultivate a friendship with Amy on par with the one I had with his Ex-Wife, and was visibly disappointed when I said I didn't know if it was possible initially. Seems like hypocrisy that should be obvious to even him.
And I wish this was the extent of it, but it gets much worse unfortunately. After returning from a business trip about a year and a half ago, he insists that he needs to confide something in me, and goes on to confess to making out with and feeling up one of his coworkers after the two of them split a number of drinks and she invited him back to her apartment. Evidently he wasn't the only one doing any cheating because she stopped it before it went any further and changed into large, unflattering loungewear, evidently indicating she was done with their liaison.
Now this I laid into him over, lambasting it as one of the worse, if not the actual worst thing he's ever done. I think he expected me to ease his conscience, but he encouraged me to befriend Amy, so I did, so effectively he cheated on a good friend of mine, and it pissed me the f*ck off. He eventually said he'd had enough, he knows it was stupid and he'd never do it again, and I just felt absolutely lost. Burdened with this horrific knowledge by someone I cared so deeply for, to the detriment of another person I care for, not to mention the horrible optics I feared from Lisa discovering that I'd be willing to conceal such a thing. Despite the utter shock, and beginning to question whether or not I even truly know this man, I choose to conceal it. I did not think it was my place to tell Amy, if she were to even believe me in the first place.
Between the hostility directed at Lisa, and now contending with the questionability of his moral character, I began to wonder if our relationship was doomed, and seeds of resentment likely began to take root in me at this time. Shortly after this he was accepted to an MBA program and began prioritizing socializing with his classmates over me, side-lining and blowing me off again and again in favor of these people who were essentially strangers. I'll admit, I used to be a little covetous of his attention, even amongst our mutual friends, but I never openly displayed this, as it's wrong to try and dictate who a person can spend time with, but the level of "social demotion" he began to put me through was absurd, to the point it arguably warranted ghosting him on it's own.
For example: Somehow we both managed to acquire multi-day passes to this theme park we both enjoy, and have a handful of good memories of attending together in HS, around the same time. However, he could not be bothered to try and arrange an outing with me to it, because his was apparently an MBA-related thing, and he wanted to save the last couple days for his classmates because they might want to go later, and he'd have to make sure that wasn't happening before he'd deign to waste them on me. Even the few times he actually invited me to go to MBA related events, he'd spend the entire time seeking out his classmates to talk to, and would not introduce me to anyone, even if I was hovering nearby, leaving me with Amy and Lisa (not that I'm complaining, I much prefer their company to that of strangers, though of course we did a decent amount of our own mingling, the 3 of us just stuck together for the most part.)
Finally, on to the latest nail in the coffin, the one that has caused me to go low contact with him and even sent some mild reverberations through our extended friend group. Since some of the earliest days of our friendship, we have discussed going to Japan together one day. About mid-March of this year, I saw some YT Short on how the exchange rate between the Yen and my home country's currency has become very favorable, and I forwarded this to him hoping to maybe broach the topic of planning to go, I think to myself maybe finally taking this trip can help us get our relationship back on track, only for him to reveal he'd already planned a trip there for himself and Amy, next month, right on top of my birthday. My birthday being something we and our extended friend group have done for whole weekends almost ritualistically at my family's lake house that they're kind enough to let me use for the past couple of years.
At that moment I felt broken. I felt utterly betrayed, and my resentment finally boiled over. All of the callousness and selfishness I felt I perceived from him drove me into a rage and after I was finished reciting multiple, vulgar, Sophia Petrillo-style curses upon his name, I calmed myself, and text him back, "Sounds like fun. Hope you guys enjoy." and went completely low contact from there. I also decided to not arrange my party from there, I knew I would be too consumed with negativity to enjoy it. Our other friends found this odd, but I just rattled off some weak excuses as to why it wouldn't work out this year.
So now all that has come and gone, and he apparently proposed to Amy while they were over there. Of course she said yes, and honestly I wish I could be happy for them, I really do. But the relationship is founded on a profound lie, and I finally revealed the truth to Lisa when I felt that the damage to Dan and I's relationship pushed it beyond ever being fully repaired again, knowing full well what she might think of me for it, but I was at a point where I decided I don't deserve to be happy, and I have failed her, I have failed Amy, and I let Dan lead me to all this. I'm sure I've failed him in some way too, probably by not forcing him to hold himself accountable, and by not calling him out on the Japan trip. He comes off so ignorant sometimes, like he's completely unaware that his actions affect anyone else, but that's not an excuse for me.
So now...I'm stuck as to what to do next. Lisa has forgiven me for my idiocy and secret-keeping, luckily that's literally the only thing I've ever kept from her, and she was understanding about the complexity of the issue. Ultimately as long as she still loves me, everything else is a bonus from my perspective.
But now I've got our extended circle pushing us to get back in contact, and he recently text me after not reaching out for a month. They know there's some kind of rift, but they've no idea the extent of my grievances, and to reveal his infidelity in particular would likely lead to a dramatic upheaval of some kind, and it also doesn't feel like it's my place to do it. I really only told Lisa because I cannot stand to keep anything from her, and she's very trustworthy with sensitive information, in addition to being far more understanding and sympathetic than I deserve.
I really want to avoid as much drama and turmoil as possible, and my father has advised me to "quietly fade out of his live" by continuing to limit contact, but reply when he reaches out, and even be open to attending any large gatherings I know he'll be at if I have other friends there, and eventually he'll take the hint and move on without a whole volatile episode. This doesn't feel like an insane approach to me, based on his treatment of me for the last year and half or so, and him reaching out like it's business as usual after a month of no contact, seems to suggest his interest in hashing anything out is minimal.
However, I have heard from other friends that he's lost contact with most of his classmates now that they're several months past graduation, and he's apparently struggling to land a job due to how picky he is over every detail, he's had like over a dozen interviews with noteworthy entities and none of them are good enough for one reason or another and so he remains at the place he's been since prior to being accepted by the MBA, and apparently out hometown isn't such a cesspit because now he's apparently been returning to go to the local hobby shops with some of our mutual friends. It kinda feels like he anticipated some grandiose move to a large city with a high-paying, low-demand job, while retaining all his upwardly mobile MBA buddies.
Oh, and now unbelievably, he's reached out wanting to hang out just the two of us. Clearly wanting to address my recent distance from him, and likely drag me through the details of that godforsaken trip.
Any advice or insight on all this would be appreciated. In my heart of hearts I still love him, I probably always will, but what he has become only seems to bring me pain.

Here is the official link that shows how to calculate eligibility: https://www.dshs.texas.gov/hivstd/policy/policies/220-001#:\~:text=Half%20Birth%20Month%20–%20Half%20birth,half%20birth%20month%20is%20July).
TLDR verion: I'm trying to create an Excel formula to determine if someone is "Eligible" or "Not Eligible" based on their birth month and the last date they completed eligibility. Clients need to come twice a year: once in their birth month and once in the half birth month (6 months after the birth month). Here are the rules:
Find the client's birth month. Determine the half birth month (6 months after the birth month). If eligibility is completed on time, the client remains eligible until the next due month. During the next due month (either the birth month or half birth month), the client remains eligible but must complete eligibility within that month to continue being eligible. For example, if the birth month is April and the last eligibility was completed in January, the next eligibility is due by the end of October.
How can I set up this calculation in Excel to output either "Eligible" or "Not Eligible"? Any help with creating this formula would be greatly appreciated!
More derailed explanation:
Eligibility Updates:
1. Birth Month Update (BMU):
· Clients must come in for an update during their birth month every year.
· If they complete this update on time, they remain eligible.
· If they miss this update and don't come in during their birth month, they become "Not Eligible" until they complete a late BMU.
2. Half Birth Month Update (HBMU):
· Six months after their birth month, clients need another update.
· If they complete this on time, they stay eligible.
· If they miss this update and don't come in during their half birth month, they become "Not Eligible" until they complete a late HBMU.
Late Updates:

• Clients who miss either the BMU or HBMU and do not complete them within the designated months become "Not Eligible" immediately after the designated month ends.
• They have up to six months from the missed month to complete a late update and regain eligibility.
• Completing a late update results in a shorter eligibility window. This means they become eligible again only from the day they complete the late update and this eligibility will last until the next required update (either BMU or HBMU).
• If a client comes in for a late HBMU just before their next BMU, they will only be eligible for a short period, as they must update again in their birth month.

Key Points to Remember:

• Clients are required to update their eligibility within their birth month, meaning they can come any day during that month to retain their eligibility. If a client's birth month passes without them coming in for an update, they become "Not Eligible."
• Similarly, clients must update their eligibility within their half birth month, which is six months after their birth month. They need to come any day during this month to stay eligible. If this month passes without an update, they are switched to "Not Eligible."
• Clients cannot do these updates earlier than their designated birth month or half birth month.

Examples:

• If a client's birthday is in January, they need to update in January (BMU) and then again in July (HBMU).
• If they miss the January update and come in February for a late BMU, they are only eligible from the day they complete the late update and will need to update again in July.

This structured process ensures clients regularly update their information to maintain eligibility for services.
Below are examples of the calculation with different scenarios:
+ABCD 1LastEligibilityDOBNotesManualStatus 21/3/20241/17/1994Did eligibility right on timeEligible 32/11/20242/20/1938Did eligibility right on timeEligible 43/9/20243/25/1975Did eligibility right on timeEligible 54/5/20244/26/1953Did eligibility right on timeEligible 65/11/20245/11/1979Did eligibility right on timeEligible 712/2/20236/12/1994Did eligibility right on timeEligible 81/4/20247/21/1979Did eligibility right on timeEligible 92/4/20248/23/1978Did eligibility right on timeEligible 103/12/20249/5/1984Did eligibility right on timeEligible 114/13/202410/11/1987Did eligibility right on timeEligible 125/13/202411/13/1934Did eligibility right on timeEligible 1312/12/202312/6/1958Did eligibility right on timeEligible 1411/10/20235/20/1991Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 1511/26/20235/9/1937Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 1611/4/20235/22/1958Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 1711/7/20235/14/1935Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 1811/17/20235/20/1958Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 1911/20/20235/7/1956Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 2011/13/202311/23/1989Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 2111/16/202311/24/1970Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 2211/25/202311/9/1958Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 2311/21/202311/3/1936Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 2411/13/202311/22/1967Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 2511/28/202311/23/1952Eligible but needs to complete an update by the end of this month to stay eligibleEligible but due this month 266/20/20231/20/1937Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 277/11/20232/11/1984Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 288/20/20233/20/1986Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 299/1/20234/1/1996Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 3010/13/20235/13/1943Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 3111/10/20226/10/1995Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 3212/1/20227/1/1968Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 331/2/20238/2/1971Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 342/19/20239/19/1982Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 353/6/202310/6/1962Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 362/17/202310/17/1934Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 375/1/202312/1/1978Missed half birth month updateNot Eligible 3812/1/20211/12/1976Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 391/24/20222/2/1980Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 402/25/20223/22/1964Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 413/17/20224/20/1939Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 424/4/20225/5/1955Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 435/3/20226/1/1981Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 446/26/20227/9/1960Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 457/25/20228/11/1940Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 468/4/20229/12/1988Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 479/8/202210/5/1995Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 4810/1/202211/8/1981Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 4911/14/202212/19/1934Missed birth month updateNot Eligible 503/30/20241/14/1983Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 514/30/20242/6/1976Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 525/10/20243/13/1971Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 535/17/20244/7/1958Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 544/30/20241/17/1972Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 552/8/20246/7/1969Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 563/23/20247/12/1937Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 574/6/20248/15/1935Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 585/28/20249/7/1990Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 596/10/202410/15/1993Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 603/8/20246/5/1999Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 612/28/202412/3/1939Eligible, client did eligible very late *has a gap in eligible since they did it late*Eligible 624/3/20245/22/1995Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 634/1/20245/15/1976Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 644/18/20245/28/1975Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 654/11/20245/3/1999Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 664/19/20245/16/1956Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 674/21/20245/22/1967Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 684/10/202411/28/1979Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 694/11/202411/28/1957Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 704/1/202411/12/1970Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 714/3/202411/11/1950Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 724/11/202411/23/1934Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 734/24/202411/10/1946Eligible, Client did eligblity EXTREMELY late but is still due THIS monthEligible but due this month 745/1/20246/23/1984Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 755/2/20246/25/1976Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 765/3/20246/28/1983Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 775/4/20246/1/1936Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 785/5/20246/21/1948Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 795/6/20246/24/1966Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 805/7/202412/12/1981Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 815/8/202412/5/1962Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 825/9/202412/19/1995Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 835/10/202412/25/1985Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 845/11/202412/12/1978Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible 855/12/202412/13/1949Eligible, Client did eligibility EXTREMELY late but is still due NEXT monthEligible
Table formatting brought to you by ExcelToReddit

I have used Reddit for a long time but never interacted with anyone or any subreddit besides reading posts and comments, but after I met this subreddit by accident and started looking at some posts, I just had to write this post
I've always been the average cis straight male my entire life, but now I'm somehow confused about myself. I've seen a lot of content talking about sexuality, but I never felt it was about me. Even right now, after I've found this subreddit, I am still unsure if this term fits me.
Not sure if this is relevant, but I am 27 years old right now, and I'm married. My wife knows about what am I going through and she has been very supportive.
As I grew up with both mom and dad being extremely religious (Christian), I never doubted my sexuality. I never had any interest in LGBT speech (I was never against it, but it always felt like it was not for me)
During my childhood and adolescence, I've always liked female characters. I always played as a female character whenever I could. I remember spending hours and hours in MMO just creating the perfect female version of me, choosing the most beautiful clothes, and the perfect pink-dyed hairstyle. I always unconsciously felt attracted to the feminine body, clothes, etc. Not exactly in a sexual way, but I kinda wished to be like the characters I was creating
I also remember the first and almost the last time I tried wearing panties. I was around 5 or 6 years old, and I was in my room which I used to share my room with my older sister and I saw my sister's drawer half-opened. As I was a very curious kid, I gave a quick look and found out it was my sister's panties drawer. I don't remember why, but I just felt the need to try them, so I instantly removed my clothes. Unfortunately, before I finished putting them on, I was caught by my mother. Don't need to say I had one of the strongest spankings I ever had. During the next 15 years, I never came close to another panty again.
I always had some panties fetish. I Always found them pretty, and until recently, I always thought It was just a fetish. I don't remember exactly when it happened but, after I got married, I started wearing them casually. My wife even bought some pairs as a birthday gift.
Not only this, but I also started making and painting my nails. last time I painted them Pink with glitter, and it felt amazing. I also love to buy clothes. My wife hates shopping for clothes, and every time she has to, I need to go with her and choose for her. Usually, she hates doing girly stuff and prefers doing "male" things. She's even responsible for doing house maintenance (she likes it, and I don't).
I'm not sure if the "femboy" term fits me. I never felt like wearing skirts, dresses, or other girly clothes, mainly because they would not look good on me at all. I'm very tall and large and I don't think I have any feminine side in my appearance. Also, even if my wife doesn't mind me wearing lingerie, painting my nails, or even how we do in bed, I know she would not like me wearing these at all.
There were many times in the last couple of years that I caught myself thinking about how many things I could do, or how many things I could wear if I were a girl, but it's not like I don't accept myself how I am.
The point is, I identify myself as a man, but not as a male (does this make sense?).
I've been trying for some time to understand who I am. I don't like a man, but I also don't feel like I should be a woman. Most of the time, I feel uncomfortable when people tag me as a man, not because I am or not a man, but because they're forcing me into a group where most of the people are totally different from me, but the problem is even I don't know if there's a group I belong to.
After finishing writing this, I feel like I'm just making a storm in a teacup. I'm not sure if I was able to communicate exactly as I wanted either. Thank you if you read this far. This was something I kept in my chest for a long time and I couldn't talk to anyone besides my wife and my therapist.

I created this account, to vent some of my frustration. I won't be commenting, looking, or editing it after I post. No, I'm not a bot, but sometimes I wish I was.
One of my best friend tried to kill himself, he left a farewell message which wasn't supposed to be interpretted as that, but I understood. I called every hospital in the area looking for his name, until I found one. When I went to visit him, I wasn't sure if I'd be finding him dead or alive. I worked up the courage to walk into the room, and found that he was surprised to see me. With so much frustration and anger in my mind, I just started yelling at him, wondering what the fuck he was thinking and why he didn't just call me. He couldn't answer, but a tear rolled down his cheek and my anger subsided and turned into grief, depression, then sorry. I asked him, why and he said told me I knew why. He struggled with major depression for years, like me. I tried my best to be a friend and help him out of that hole, but nothing I did would help. I thought maybe if I put my depression to the side and helped him with his I'd find a way of curing my own. I was never overt with any of the actions, I lent out a helping hand when neeeded and hung out with him when he was down. We've both had terrible traumas— his from neglect and financial issues, and mine from abuse and bullying, but I thought because we both suffered we would be able suffer together. I visitied him when his family was there as I was the nuclear detterent. I watched his mother and brother hurl insults at eachother while I tried to lighten the mood, the brother cared for him, the mother didn't. It seemed like she was there, just to say she showed up. I've known her for a while, she's callous, she always has a couple boyfriends on her side, but she never tries to keep them around. When the brother and the mother were around the entire room was filled with a negative aura and you can feel it, it was never pleasant and when I left tensions only raised. I visited him when work allowed me to, but after he was transferred to the psych ward, my schedule didn't fit in with any of the visitation hours so I never could. When he left the psych ward, what followed were days of him visiting my workplace during my lunch hours telling me that he would attempt it again, "it could happen any day now." My words seemed so hollow and breathless as I tried to sounding them out. I questioned myself, "What could I say? What could I do? Why is he telling me this?" This happened almost everyday for a couple of months, he would visit me and utter the same words. One day, I asked him, "How do you want me to respond to this" and to his non-challant reply was, "I don't know take it as you well." He was always forgetful, so I hoped he would forget about me too. Some nights we would get boba and he would tell me I was part of the reason he did it. I didn't know how to respond and I still don't. What did I do? I was completely and utterly drained of any emotions, sadness, depression, anger, grief. He was a boa constrictor wrapping it's body around mine smothering me to death. Nothing mattered to me, and so one day, I left without saying a word. He is still alive and hasn't tried anything since then, to which I am thankful. But I never answered his texts or calls. In this rough patch, I started unravelling because everything around me was unfolding.
I was still talking to the above friend, during this time when I got a call from my brother, "She's in the ER because she OD'D. Can you bring some blankets?" He was completely devoid of any urgency or emotion, I understand he doesn't handle them very well, but the calmness of voice only irritated me and made my bite my tongue til I bled. My mind was blank as I sped down the highway at 100mph. I remember the flickering lights as I paced through the hallway, a nurse recognized me from my personal life, but I brushed her off saying that I didn't know her as she was part of our church. Our family is conservative and if this got out, then all eyes would be on us with looks of disappointment and shame. I couldn't tell anyone. I hesitated, a roller coaster of emotions overwhelmed me as I grew closer and closer to the room. The same ones that had enveloped me with my best friend, but this one was brought on by so much shame. "How didn't I see this coming? What sort of brother am I, that I can't protect my only sister? Please... Please... Please.. don't be dead." I stopped in the hallway, where my brother stood and he just said he was getting a sandwhich. I watched him go as he walked away, not an ounce of grief, but after I saw him I noticed there was confusion and sadness in his face, but his words remained neutral as if he were trying to keep it together. I approached the door and hesitated right before going in, rubbing tears that were running down my face and collecting myself the best way I could. I saw her lying there, so helpless, barely alive, and struggling to breathe. My stomach sunk, my heart dropped, and my lungs collapsed. No physical pain, no abuse I had suffered, no moment would have prepared me for this, but as I looked at her she looked at me. I walked over and remarked, "This is because I didn't kill the spider, isn't it?" She laughed in pain the best she could, and my Dad added into and gave me a small slap on the head laughng as well. I saw her arms and saw the cuts and how deep they were. The heart monitor started fading and transforming into ringing within my ears. I sat down and talked to my Mom and Dad to see what we needed. They asked for blankets, which I forgot, and something to eat. I told them to go home as I'd just stay here to watch over her. They both said no at first, but my Dad reluctantly agreed after realizing there was no one to watch his business the next day. I nearly lost my mind. Your daughter is laying here in the ER, and you still need someone to watch the business? I volunteered to do it, but I stayed in the hospital until the I had to leave as I watch the seconds turn into minutes, the minutes to hours. The clock has never moved that slow before, I felt like I was frozen in every moment. It was only after I had learned she was raped three times. My blood boiled, my face turned hot, as I was heading to my car demanding who did it. He'd done this mutliple times. throughout the year, and I had no idea. I reached a point where I stormed out of my house, but my brother asked me where I was going. I told him that I was going to find him, and beat the living shit out of them. He stopped me and told me, that that's why she didn't tell me. I didn't understand it it all, why he wasn't hopping into the car with me to this mother fuckers house after knowing all of this. He didn't want me to know because I'd go over to the hospital demanding her and asking her who did it. He was right. I calmed down, but if he wasn't there I would have found the fucker and I would have beaten the living shit out of them. I told my best friend what happened, and he tried to keep me calm and tried to get my mind off of things. We went to a friends birthday party and I could still hear the heart monitor ringing as I watched everyone have fun, eat, and party over this friends birthday. I felt like an extra, just playing the part of someone who's there to be there. I laughed and made jokes, but this hole in my chest kept getting wider and wouldn't close. I hadn't slept in three days, and the pain was like I was being eaten alive without being able to scream in agony. When we returned to the hospital, she was moved to a different facility, because she wasn't needed in the ER any longer. The nurses asked me to leave as they said that visiting hours were over, but they fell upon empty ears. I wasn't moving. I stayed there all night, and woke up the next morning. I don't remember falling asleep, I just blacked out at one point. I could tell you that when I woke up, all I saw where white walls, white floors, and white sheets. The typical hospital smell that filled the air with ammonia as it burned through my lungs. The heart monitor started to lose it's preptual ring and began to sound normal again. None of these details are important, but I remember them so well as if I'm living that moment right now. This was my second close call. She was home within the next week, but this trauma made our family a lot closer— but, there's a new edition to the family in the shape of an elephant, he doesn't speak to us and we don't speak to him, but he's always there. I haven't been able to look at her the same way, because I'm not sure what will set her off, and the scars on her arms still make me sick to the stomach.
My second best friend was tearing at the seams while all this was happening and I was trying to get his life back together, but something just wasn't clicking with him. I saw him descend into an abyss that I couldn't pull him out of, he started stalking his ex, binge drinking at work, in public, etc. , doing more and more drugs. I went to his rented out room where the landlord would help him do his laundry, cook for him, allow him to have pets even though she was against it. She was kind to him, and I had hoped that might have had some affect on his mental state, but he couldn't get out of his head. He nose dived and I tried to bring him back up, but I couldn't so I gave up. I was emotionally and physically exhausted from everything, in a puddle of a quicksand trying to get out, the more I resisted the further it pulled me down. I was in a boxing match with hit after hit after hit, I just couldn't stand it anymore, but this man gave me a family when mine abused me, he gave me a home when I didn't want to go back to mine, he allowed me to express myself and be free when I was in a position where everyone wanted to chain me, he became a friend when I needed one the most. I pleaded with my group to look after him a little bit more, we could take shifts, but no one cared or wanted to listen. "You can't help someone who can't help themselves." After his nose dive, I told him I couldn't do this anymore and I'd rather kill myself to watch him destroy himself, so I stopped speaking to him— after all, you can't help someone who can't help himself. I removed myself from the group and started working on myself. It had been a year since we last talked, he wrote one story on Instagram that caught my attention, "Maybe everyone was right about me." By this time, I had finally collected myself, I was in a good place, and I had every intention of talking with him again and helping him get back on track if I could, whether it be reaching out or just treating him like a person as if it were a typical Tuesday. As I was typing in the words, I stopped myself and said I needed a little bit more time. I was in the midst of a massive project at work that needed to be completed in two days. The next day, I got a text from one of the mutal friends in the group I had left, "He's dead. They found his body in his room." I stared at the phone for a few seconds. My mind blank. I just put my phone down and kept working.
I haven't talked to a therapist about any of this, but I have mentioned it. None of them seem interested in exploring it so it must not be that important, but I feel the need to get this burden off my chest. These three events happened concurrently, and after the dusk settled, I looked closer into all of the close relationships I had, and how many of my closest friends had ended up hurting themselves in a way to "heal." Nearly all of them. They would vent their struggles to me, and I always became an ear because people just need to be heard. Maybe they had problems before I met them, maybe they didn't. I'm probably stretching my own importance in their lives, but the nagging tick that bothers me is that I feel like I am the common denominator.

I'm 33 I'm morbidly obese so I don't even have that hot/crazy thing going for me like some girls do, I have no friends, even though I'm on a debt management plan now my credit is fucked (I've got 2 CCJS) and because of this (and being revenge evicted) I'm living in a static caravan with my boyfriend and my cat with not a penny to my name, my boyfriend has ADHD and depression he's a gas engineer and plumber and is constantly in and out of work. I feel weirdly happy here sometimes, it's far away its in the woods I feel hidden from the world and safe from bailiffs but sometimes I miss having a private garden, being able to do my washing indoors, not having to interact with neighbours, living in a house that doesn't get freezing cold at night and boiling hot during the day. I've tried to make a go of things on Tumblr but I guess I don't click with gen zers on there so most of the time I get blocked or ignored for absolutely no reason 😕 I try to be friendly and not reblog things that sound OTT but I guess it doesnt work, this girl who was my sort of FP (who also has BPD) seems to hate me because she's convinced I made a blog that was similar to hers she's also been getting friendly with another girl who she equally didn't like who made a fan blog similar to hers yet she's completely blanking me the whole thing feels sooooo school yard tbh.
My family can't be bothered to see each other and they're not especially close they're all alcoholic narcissists, me and my sister sort of get on but despite her being my carer and getting money for it she's sort of pulled the rug out from under me the last couple of years to focus on writing and making candles as well as furthering her popularity on social media and I can't help but feel a bit sore over it I guess like for example tomorrow I really needed to see the doctor to talk about my weight and my facial hair (I suspect I have PCOS) as well as discussing the possibility of going on better medication but I can't get there because I don't drive and I live literally 20 mins away from everything even a supermarket so I can't even get a bus.
I've been trying to focus on making my caravan nice and wanting to do computer art of pictures of me and my boyfriend of all the festivals and holidays we've been to but everytime I look at these pictures of me I feel so depressed at how much I hate the way I look 😭. I feel angry that I tried to keep my living situation a secret for months and that I had to carry it round in my chest until my niece let it slip that I went for a viewing at the caravan and I didn't tell them I was having to leave my 2 bedroom house cos my landlord wanted to sell it (he said he wanted to sell the place barely an hour after I complained about damp and mould and a silverfish infestation) my family think I've downsized and chosen to live out here but it's out of sheer desperation if I'm being honest.
I'm not really sure what else to say really.

I (30yo woman) am getting married to my fiance (32yo man) in October. We have had a relatively long engagement and got engaged back in February of 2023. Since February of this year, I had this sad feeling in my gut that my grandparents would opt to not go to our wedding. Unfortunately, this was confirmed via email on Sunday, and they gave me the excuse I was expecting them to give: the dog.
My grandparents are healthy and relatively young. About ten years ago, they randomly decided to move away from us to go live in the north GA mountains. Despite the relatively short travel time of 3hrs, they have always insisted we go up to visit (even though my mom, sister, and I are not retired and work full time with conflicting schedules; plus, we take care of my 94yo great grandmother (my grandfather's mother)) and they have gone from spending every holiday with us when they lived here, to having spent a total of 3 holidays with us in the past 10 years.
When their last dog died back in 2017, they got another one about two years after that. My grandparents have always insisted on getting nothing but purebred English setters (even though each one has had plenty of health issues because... That's what happens when you buy a purebreed), and even though they knew it would be too much dog for them to deal with in their older years, chose not just a male, but the biggest puppy in the litter that would end up in the 90th percentile in size for a male English setter. Because my grandparents live in the middle of Actual Nowhere, this dog has never been around other dogs or people, and they've NEVER left him alone, not even for 10 minutes. If they drive over an hour into town for groceries, he goes with them, or my grandmother stays behind with him if the trip is going to take too long (like the time my grandfather had an eye appointment and drove back up into the mountains by himself with his pupils still dilated...)
So for the past 5 years, the dog has been their excuse. "Well he's too strong and might not do good around other dogs" (because you didn't socialize him), "he might become destructive if we visit and stay in a place he's not familiar with" (because he never left that damn mountain), etc etc.
Now, unfortunately, he has seizures. Massive grand mal seizures that have occurred two or three times since December that have apparently led to him running off into the Appalachian wilderness for hours, or biting my grandfather, or knocking my grandmother down.
Before this stuff with my wedding, we were already getting fed up with my grandparents. My great grandmother (the one I mentioned earlier and my last surviving great grandparent of the three that I had while growing up) fell back in October and broke her hip. She was in the hospital for a couple weeks and then was transferred to a pretty shitty place for physical therapy for two months after that. All the time her dementia and paranoia getting worse. She would constantly ask where her son Greg was and why he wouldn't visit her. So we'd call my grandfather and plead for him to visit his mother because we were so tired of feeding her the same excuses every time we visited to (kind of) placate her. Despite months of this, her breaking her hip AGAIN, us worrying she'd probably die (thank goodness this didn't happen; she got transferred to another long term facility that worked wonders with her and she's walking around with her walker again like she was 70), and her 94th birthday in December... He only visited twice. And neither of those times were on her birthday. When I tell you that was the most depressing "birthday party"... It was just me, my mom, my sister, and my great grandmother staring and not wanting to eat the birthday cake that my grandfather ordered. Cold rain pouring outside and my poor great grandmother finally sighing "I thought I would see Greg for my birthday..."
So you can see that I'm already at my limit with them. So when I had conversations with them to try to find ANY kind of option to take care of the dog so they could make it to my wedding, it would be like pulling teeth. They don't want anyone to come stay with him at the house, they don't want to bother with getting a pet friendly Airbnb near the venue, they don't want to bring him to the wedding because he might get overstimulated and have a seizure and run off again--I could go on forever. So to them their only option is: don't come to my wedding. And I am sick of them using that damn dog as their go to excuse for whatever their issue is. I want to cut them out of my life for all of this.
Questions I'm sure some of you may have and that may help with context/understanding my confusion and frustration:
-Maybe your grandparents don't approve of who you're marrying? • My fiance and I have been together for six years and they have told me multiple times how much they love him. They were both elated to hear about our engagement.
-Maybe the wedding is too far away? • The wedding is in southern GA, so same state as them. The drive for them would only be 2.5 hours. I have multiple guests coming in from Oregon, and a cousin flying in from Germany.
-Are you not close to your grandparents? • They practically raised me. Our family is painfully tiny (my dad and his family were never in the picture). My mom was 20 and single when she had me, so we lived with my grandparents until I was 4. And then during a period where my mom was involved with my sister's father, she essentially was emotionally and physically absent for 3 years (ages 7-10). I was at my grandparents' house 5 days a week and they were the only ones I had to talk to at the time. My grandmother and I are so alike and her interests molded mine. My grandparents and I used to call multiple times a week just to share different bands to listen to because we have such a similar taste in music. Them telling me they're not coming to my wedding for any reason other than a fatal illness feels like having someone shove a hot poker into my chest.
-Maybe they're not fully aware of how upset you are by this? • I don't like being emotionally vulnerable, but I concisely told them all of my feelings on the matter through an email. (I simply couldn't bring myself to do it over the phone because I know I would become a blubbering mess.)
-Do you hate dogs? • I'm genuinely surprised I don't with how often my grandparents have prioritized their dog over all of their living relatives and friends. I'm an avid animal lover. Honestly, I prefer animals over people 99% of the time. We have two dogs and two cats.
I just feel like an unlovable piece of shit and wanted to vent and see how strangers felt about the issue. Feel free to give advice or scream/cry along with me.

Okay so, I bought my kitten from an old “friend” who literally was going to let mama and kittens roam the streets. I bought the one, and literally stole the entire group of kittens&mama. These were not good people and i literally just made a run for it (it was dramatic, but i was 20 and just couldn’t let these babies struggle when I KNEW they’d be adopted at my local shelter)
So fast forward a few months, I find out my kitten has feline herpes. she got vaccinated, got the meds, she didn’t eat her food with the powder they gave me with both wet and dry food. So I continued the eyedrops and ditched the powder, I got an alternative paste to add to the food. She hated it. So we stuck with eye drops.
Fast forward to now, I’ve managed the flare ups well, she sits in the steamy bathroom, I always wipe her eyes multiple times a day with a warm cloth, eyedrops when necessary, etc.
Unfortunately as a first time pet owner, I was always told by relatives that unless the animal is showing signs something is wrong, a vet appointment isn’t necessary. Her and her sister are crazy playful, she loves snuggles and gets so many of them, she eats and drinks on routine and she seems really happy, however her flare ups have been a bit more intense than normal, her ears won’t stay clean no matter how often I wipe them, so I made an appointment right away.
I can’t shake the feeling I’m going to get judged and crucified for asking questions or just not knowing things I should already know. Or even judged because maybe her ears are dirty, or her nails are a little long. I give her trims but it’s the fight of my life, truly, I’ve almost lost an eyeball like 12 times.
Any advice on how to calm my nerves? It’s insane I’m even asking this, but I get anxious over everything so I just want to make sure I can handle things well, I guess?
Both are spayed, purely indoor cats. They only go outside for vet trips.

Starter info- state is West Virginia. Berkeley county is where the deceased lived and his wife still does. Myself (granddaughter) and his kids all live in Marion county where he used to live. He has been married to this person for over 20 years, she is the executor.
Hi everyone. Two months ago my grandfather died suddenly. His wife and his daughters do not and never have gotten along however his death made that all upfront. He had a will, she has not probated it so we have no idea what’s in it. Berkeley county court house says there is no time limit although 30 days is preferred. She changed the burial plot from the one he purchased and wanted to be buried in (right beside his mother) to one she liked better in the same cemetery. She will be burying the ashes soon, and at first, told his daughters that they could come and be there only if they paid for it (around $700). Once they offered, she changed her mind and said no one could be there but her and her biological grand daughters. She instructed the funeral home not to tell us when or where. She is also refusing them or us access to any of his belongings, even generational gifts from their side of the family. That last part I know is most likely not illegal, just disgusting. My mother and her sisters are not taking this well amongst mourning their father- who wouldn’t have wanted this. Do we have any legal footing to help them get the things he would have wanted them to have and/or attend the burial of his ashes? Thanks.

My sister sent a photo yesterday of her 20 month old son eating peanut butter and blueberries off a spoon. I usually ignore her, because we don't get along (nephew is perfect obviously). But I'm a person who will always say something if a child is in danger. So I just stated, "peanut butter on a spoon is an aspiration/choking hazard."
She informed me that it's not a problem for him. When I have a child I can make my own decisions. And look, if we're talking about his lack of snow boots last winter, sure. Ok. Fine. But don't pull that survivor bias bullshit on me. Plenty of people ride in cars without seatbelts and don't die. You should still wear your seatbelt.
Forgive me please. I just don't want your kid to die.
(This is part of a long pattern of my sister not respecting literally anything I say or do. She once told me I was making coffee wrong. She doesn't drink coffee.)

This is a little off subject and I usually don't talk about this (other than in therapy). I know a lot of people don't understand how a mother could possibly leave their child with a predator and honestly I'm glad they don't understand. It's something that should never happen. But it does and has for a long time. Giving birth doesn't make a mother no more than than them DNA makes a dad. Here's my story.
My mother met a man when I was 2 who she absolutely loved (I believe she still does) when I was 4 they got married. From the moment I can remember I listened to my mother describe in detail about being violently raped by her stepfather. How ALL men were sick in the head except her husband. I was just so happy that she was finally happy that I ignored the uncomfortable feelings I had when he would repeatedly expose himself, sometimes with her in the room. It was always an accident they said even though as an adult it's not difficult to think maybe he should wear sweatpants instead of just underwear around the house. Then I caught him looking in the bathroom windows while I was showering and he claimed he heard a loud noise and thought I fell. Eventually he got a camcorder (this was late 80s, early 90s) and I found that turned on in the bathroom. He claimed it wasn't on even though it was a green light for on and a red light for off. My mother also had a no underwear at bed rule, still not sure why. But she had us all sleeping in the same bed, me in the middle, sometimes she would be working and it would be just be the two of us. And I was supposed to call him dad because mine was "a no good drunk". She would even send me on trips with him and I got so many presents. I don't remember most of my childhood, I think it's my brains way of protecting me. One thing I never understood was why his family wouldn't talk to him. I found out when I was 20 that when my mother and ex-stepfather started dating his sisters all went to my mother and told her that he was caught raping his five year old niece. Apparently, she didn't mind.

I’m nervous as to whether or not I passed. I studied probably no more than 200-250 hours, if that, and I didn’t go over the ethics material at all. But hear me out.
Took a look at the mock exam, but didn’t really sit down and actually attempt it properly, just skimmed through 2/3’s of the first 90 questions on LES. I did study the make-up of ethics questions for a solid 30 minutes, but this was all the night before the exam so I chose to allocate my time elsewhere, which ended up being a good investment decision.
I have a BBA in Psychology, but have worked at a BrokeDealer since 07/2022, and got my SIE, Series 7, Series 63 out of the way that year, first try. I listen to podcast and have always done additional research on the market/global and domestic economy. Still, a ton of new info in CFA program.
When studying, I didn’t study in preparation for the test. I didn’t really think about the test when studying at all. I just read through the material and tried to learn it the best I could in the way I saw most fit for myself.
I felt very unprepared for the Exam, I only skimmed through 2/3’s of the first 90 question mock, and didn’t read the ethics section at all.
When taking the exam, I felt like it was way easier than expected, and was honestly a little disappointed that it wasn’t harder. I don’t think I crushed it, but I feel there is a very low chance I got <70, feel more like my range is 75 But with how I felt coming into the test, having not slept the night before, only finishing all material (except ethics) just a couple days before, I feel like I could be overconfident or completely missing something. People tell me I’m incredibly smart, and I’ve heard from people who know me that they don’t think I need to study the full 300-350 hrs recommended, but they also don’t know how much shit is on there man, and I don’t think I’m a genius who can just beep boop bop retain everything. I have always been good at math though and do like Poker statistics/probabilities so the quant section was good for me and I made it my mission to understand all the mathematical formulas in the curriculum. This partially extends to ROE and decomposition of, but most other accounting formulas I forgot.
But I understand all underlying concepts well and felt I was able to figure quite a bit of stuff out mid exam.
I did flag the questions I was unsure of. Basically anything I wasn’t absolutely certain about. I didn’t get a chance to go back and look at all the ones I flagged, but if I had to guess, I’d say I ended with 30-40 flagged in part one and about the same for part two. I carefully read each question and was very thorough with each one. Sometimes I spent too long on a question because I was having fun figuring it out, and felt comfortable on many others leading up to that one, which is why I didn’t have time to go back.
Now, this is the fun part. I felt like I was completely unsure on no more than 1/5 of the ones I flagged. I didn’t know those at all. I have a 33% chance of getting those right. The other 4/5ths, I feel like I at least eliminated one answer choice, confidently, giving me at least a 50/50 chance of getting those question right. But out of that 4/5ths, I think at least 1/2, or 2/5ths of the questions I really had some knowledge that pointed me to the right answer out of the two choices I had left, after eliminating the prior. I think this gives me a bit above 50/50 odds, putting me at 67% chance (more or less for some, but ya know, hard to quantify and don’t want to oveunderestimate the advantage given by knowledge).
So, I did the math: a range of 60 unsure questions to 80 unsure (30part1+30part2, 40+40)
Lower Level (Wrong Answers): 60/5=12 1267%= 8 2450%= 12 24*33%= 8 28 wrong out of 180; Score: 84.44%
Upper Level (Wrong Answers): 80/5=16… Rounding up on all decimals 1667%= 11 3250%=16 32*33%=22 49 wrong out of 180, score 72.77%
I really don’t think I was unsure about 80 questions, but also, idk, because I hadn’t slept and had tunnel vision, and I was already worried, and I’m unfortunately and fortunately aware of all the biases I possess. Curse my psychology BBA. I know I just need to wait, but dang dude. I’m stressed.
Backstory on why I couldn’t study more:
I had to unexpectedly move in January because our apartment had black mold and other toxic molds resulting from lackluster apartment maintenance.
The management team was not willing to pay for our move and withheld funds from us that I figured we were entitled to, so I had to scan the state property code, cite it to them, act accordingly, etc. Ended up getting a lawyer. Still dealing with that.
Found out my brother-in-law was hitting my sisteniece during that time so had to deal with that (didn’t deal with him as I would’ve liked, no crimes committed). CPS called by someone else and then I was blamed by my sister who cut off communications with my family.
Found out my girlfriend of 20 months now has or had HPV and CIN3 cervical dysplasia, precancerous cells at the most severe stage before becoming cancerous, and a whole bunch of other scares around that.
Two family weddings to attend, both out of town. Cousins wedding was on May 3. My test was May 15th, 830 a.m.
Sister-in-law (I will be proposing to gf soon) Graduation to attend on May 10th in Washington DC. I live in Texas. Flew out on the 9th, got back on the 12th.
Night of the test, I realized I needed my passport, which I hadn’t seen in months!!! Looked for it in my house, couldn’t find it. After studying an all nighter, left for my parents at 7-715am. Test at 830am. They live 20 minutes away. Testing facility 40 minutes with traffic from my parents. Found the passport, luckily, around 752am. Left. Took express lanes and went above the speed limit. Walked through the doors at 8:32am. Adrenaline flowing. Caffeine kicking. Took the test. Went full tunnel vision. But I really had a good time taking the test, I will say. I did almost piss myself in the last 15 minutes of part 1.

Check post history since this is not my first time posting about my mom.
Not much has changed between my mom and I since the last time I posted. There was a death in my family last fall and I spoke on the phone with her regarding some planning of the funeral. I saw her at the funeral but I purposefully didn't interact with her outside of a hello and goodbye hug. All that to say there's been no addressing of her outburst around Labor Day last year or the test message I sent afterwards.
I recently got engaged and I'm so insanely happy I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. It's felt so good to be able to share that happiness with so many of my friends and family, but it's weird to not be able to experience this phase of life with my mom by my side . I don't even know why it makes me sad because honestly she's not even the type of person who could be fully happy for me. I just wish she was, but I'm slowly excepting that this is the way things are. I feel like it's instinct to want to call your mom to share your engagement news, but I didn't given how things have been and she found out like the rest of my extended family in a group chat (which everyone but her responded to, although she liked my engagement post on fb). I called my cousins, my sister and my dad to let them know individually since we're close like that. I call them and they call me on a weekly basis just to talk and see how life is going. My mom never calls me, even when we were close. It was always on me to initiate contact.
In other news maintaining a relationship with my nephews independent of my mom has been going well! My oldest nephew's school came to my city for a field trip and he asked if I could chaperon and we got to spend the whole day together! A few weeks back I drove down to go to my middle nephew's birthday party that my sister organized (my mom was weirdly not present even though other family was) and in August I'll be going down for my youngest nephew's birthday. Going through my sister to setup time with the boys has been going great.
Anyway, I'm just rambling at this point. I don't regret holding up my boundaries and keeping my distance from her since she proves time and time again she won't get help to changes her toxic behaviors. I guess it just sucks it has to be this way. Thanks for listening to my rant :)

Hello everyone, idk who to talk to so im writing on this website. I've never been someone who easily gave up but at this point everything is just overwhelming. I'm 20 yo and in my last months of school bc i failed a year and i feel like i've seperated from everyone that once was in my life. Throughout my life i've changed grades multiple times and lost the social circle with it. Lately i've changed and became less of a pushover and told my friends when i didnt like how they treated me. They reacted weird and I hung out less and less with them. I dont really like them i just hang out with them to atleast have someone. A year ago my parents got divorced and i live with my mom and sister while my dad lives alone. My mom changed when we went through this and i feel like she is more rude to me than ever. Despite being challeged to find friends i can trust i feel like even my family is growing apart from me. My father doesnt try to understand me although im sure his time is worse than mine. I feel like my sister is straight up disabled. She cant even speak proper sentences and i struggle to form a connection with her aswell. In school i was always with the two friend groups i've seperated from. I've never liked them and just went along bc i had noone. As i changed i wanted to find different friends but i couldnt. If im alone i have such low self esteem that i cant even talk to the cashier etc. I've tried to level up my social skills with many videos and tipps online but nothing ever helped me. I feel like im not made for someone to love/like me. I've grown up islamically and i still believe in it but i feel like because of the rules i couldnt partake in drinking/partying which made me different to other people. I've had many female friends when growing up but as i grew up to about 13 years my father shouted at me and forbid me to talk to them. Now i can't even hold a conversation with a woman and i feel like ive never ever gonna find a woman because my dad wants it to be islamic but i couldnt even do it if it wasnt islamic and i stuggle to even slightly escalate over text and cant even ask a female classmate for the time. I feel like i can open up to nobody and cant form a deep social connection to people. I live in germany i am half german and as i grew up i've always been with german friends and kinda thought of other muslims as weird because they got lower grades and couldnt talk properly. I feel like i dont fit to any race/culture. My mom and also my dad greatly helped me at everything i did before the divorce but now they dropped everything at once while i struggle with live/girls/friend and all of it overwhelms me and i dont really think i will ever be able to fix my life. When i ask my mom to just buy healthy food like she did before the divorce she shouts at me and hits me. While she buys everything my 18 yo sister asks for. My sister also insults me and when i defend myself my mom hits me. I feel like the whole world is against me and it happened over night I hope to find someone who reads my whole message and can give me advice who maybe was in a similar position or is experienced in life.

https://derpibooru.org/images/2656051?q=parents%3Aautumnjack
​
And boy is there a lot of next gen apples…
​
Name: Pumpkin Patch (patch)
Age: 17
Gender: Cis Female
Sexuality: Bisexual
Parents: Apple Jack, Autumn Blaze (magical lesbian spawn)
Siblings: none
Relatives: Professor Apple Bloom (aunt) Tender Taps (uncle) June Bug (cousin) Big Macintosh (uncle) Sugar Belle (aunt) Sugar Cane (cousin)
Pear Butter and Bright Mac (deceased/grandparents) Granny Smith and Gramp Pear (deceased/great grandparents)
Type: 80% pony 20% Kirin
Personality
-stubborn
-hard working
-pretty (for Summer)
-will defend her friends
-honest
Cutie Mark/Special Talent
Since Patch is mostly pony, she got her cutie mark at a normal age. Her cutie mark is an apple-shaped pumpkin. It represents her love for fall harvest.
​
OPAL FLICKER
​
Artist’s description:
soft boy. has done nothing wrong, ever.
Son of Apple Jack and Autumn Blaze.
Flick was raised as a farmer, but farming never truly sat right with him. He loved helping others, and he knew he could be doing more to help. That’s why when he came of age, he moved out and applied to be a professor at the school of friendship for the kindness element, surprisingly. But of course, he was accepted.
Opal Flicker is kind too most, but closest to Ambrosia (his sister), Goji Glow, Onyx Daze, Elytron, Vespa Sear, Aurora, Hornet, Lockheed, Virago, and Bulaa.
Flick is scared of Amity, and like 80% sure Pyre hates him
https://derpibooru.org/images/3245106?q=parents%3Aautumnjack
AMBROSIA
​
Daughter of Apple Jack and Autumn Blaze.
Though still in school, Ambrosia is keen to helping her mothers farm, and most underestimate her strength. When she’s not on the farm or studying, she’s with friends and family, she usually drags them on hikes with her.
While Ambrosia does have walls, if she trusts you they’ll go down quickly. She can usually be seen hanging around Opal Flicker (her brother), Saccharin (her cousin), Fuji Tart (her cousin), Elytron, and Terabyte.
She argues frequently with Pacific Rose (her cousin). And she thinks Prince Usiku doesn’t take himself or his duties seriously.
​
https://derpibooru.org/images/3028176?q=parents%3Aautumnjack
https://derpibooru.org/tags/oc-colon-pazazz+apple
Pazazz Apple
​
“Darlin’, please don’t cry. I’m sure Cameo didn’t mean to break Potsy.”
“Ma, people are staring…”
“You ignore them. She’s grieving.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Living on a farm with around 14 ponies means that accidents can happen a bit more often than not. This time, Potsy was the victim.
I 100% think that even after regaining her voice and the voices of her fellow villagers, Autumn Blaze still kept her inanimate object friends around. After all, no one’s going to be completely sane after dealing with what she went through. So one day, when Potsy is knocked from his spot on a bale of hay and smashes on the ground, Autumn Blaze is devastated. She wails and sobs, unable to do anything but cry and apologize to Potsy’s broken pieces. Applejack, who can’t bear to see her wife so upset, is very sympathetic towards her and the inanimate object. Pazazz, on the other hand, feels bad because he’s embarrassed of his mother’s odd behavior.

[ Notice: Not my article. Link: https://4womaninthewilderness.blogspot.com/2012/08/here-is-answer-to-comment-that-was-left.html ]
~COMMENT:~ Hello Pearl! I can only thank Jah that i found you! After seventeen years as a JW, i found myself so disturbed and distraught (i.e., sighing and groaning) over what was going on that i just couldn't bring myself to attend the meetings anymore. Prior to my departure, i discerned that much of the Society's liturature was laced with poison so i completely stopped reading any of it and began studying the scriptures only. What a difference that made! While i secretly never agreed with some of the Governing Body's official doctrines, policies and procedures (i viewed them as unscriptural, even idolatrous in some cases), when i realized that they couldn't possibly be the "faithful and discreet slave" (that is a future designation and only Jah/Jesus appoint these individuals, not themselves), I got the last bit of courage needed to finally leave and begin searching. Eventually i found your blog and now check it nearly everyday for any new information. A very close friend of mine who has also left after nearly twenty years as a JW (she just couldn't deal with it emotionally/mentally anymore) also reads your blogs and is as electrified as I am to be finally experiencing the true meaning of the "light getting brighter"!
So here's my question: How do we sound the warning that you mentioned? Since it's likely that no one on the inside will listen, what good will it do? Besides, you said yourself that a Christian is not obligated to sow seed among thorns. So while I have the desire to help others get out of symbolic Jerusalem, I do not know how to go about it nor do i see any point in it. Simply mentioning that i was no longer attending meetings (besides making a brief comment about the hypocrisy in the congregation) was enough for one person --someone i considered a good friend previously--to immediately cease all association with me. Thus, even hinting at the idea that the Organization is not all that its cracked up to be will send 99.9% of 'em running with their thumbs in their ears! Please advise. Thank You!
~REPLY:~ I also, am greatly relieved to hear that you have found the truth, which I myself am so grateful to YHVH's spirit for. There are those who read it and recognize none of the truth of the cited scriptures...and then there are expressions like yours, which reveal eyes and ears that are open, and a consciousness of their spiritual poverty (Matt.5:3). This need is keen during this spiritual famine and drought (Amos 8:11; Rev.6:6; 18:8; 12:14)...yet the spiritual pestilence that strikes others with blindness and an inability to hear, keeps them sick and unaware of their dire need (Matt.13:15; Rev.3:17; 6:8). The senseless are the ~great~ ~majority~ (Matt.7:13,14; Luke 13:23,24; Matt.24:22; Ps.94:17,5,8,12,13,14,16,18,20,22,23,20, 21; Rev.20:9,7,8,9; 13:15; 11:7; 6:9,11). So to hear that my labors, (and that of other faithful) are reaching some, is of great refreshment, and relief to my grief (Matt.10:42).
The Bible reads; "But God also rescued Lot out of Sodom because he was a righteous man who was sick of the shameful immorality of the wicked people around him. Yes, Lot was a righteous man who was tormented in his soul by the wickedness he saw and heard day after day. So you see, the Lord knows how to rescue godly people from their trials, even while keeping the wicked under punishment until the day of final judgment." 2Pet. 2:7-9 (Eze.9:4)
"The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." 2Chron. 16:9 A
We see from these three scriptures that Yhwh will not abandon those whose heart is exclusively devoted to Him. He delivers them by His strength (2Chron. 16:9). His Spirit can bring them to the truth (John 6:44; 14:6) as He does for each faithful anointed one, as well as all those who may accept the "fine fruit" the faithful witnesses offer (Matt.10:40,41,42; Matt.7:20; Rev.11:3,4).
Regarding your question, Yhwh has begun to make me aware of what I must do, as well as how to do it. You are right that God's "Land" must be warned (Jer.25:30,29; Rev.2:20; 13:14). It is true that Satan has erected a wall around God's people. It would seem impossible to penetrate that wall with the judgment message. Remember the wall of Jericho? That prophecy will be fulfilled in its grandest meaning, in our very day (Josh.6:8,13; Rev.8:6). I am going to ask everyone whose heart inclines him to obey Eze.33:7,8 to be a part of the upcoming universal witness. For, it is the final one to be given. I am talking to another anointed one about how Holy Spirit is guiding this final warning. I will most certainly post all the details, as we become certain of how to do this in harmony with Yhvh's approval. The wall of Jericho fell, partly due to the blowing of the 7 horns of the priests (Joshua 6:8). This final wall of false teachings, which holds captive God's Called Ones, falls by the same means, as symbolized in Revelation (Rev.8:6). "Whether they hear, or whether they refrain" the warning must be given (Eze.2:5). This warning will be the main tool used to harvest the remaining wheat of anointed, upon which the arrival of the Kingdom awaits (Rev.14:14,15,16; 6:11). It is a very important activity, and I hope everyone possible will offer themselves to support it. The lives of those whom we regard as our "brothers and sisters", as well as the anointed who are still asleep and in chains, hangs in the balance. In fact it would be good to consider all of Ezekiel chapter 2, because it brings up the very "thorns" you mention.
Eze.2:1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10: And he said to me, “Son of man, stand on your feet, and I will speak with you.” And as he spoke to me, the Spirit entered into me and set me on my feet, and I heard him speaking to me. And he said to me, “Son of man, I send you to the people of Israel, to nations of rebels, who have rebelled against me. They and their fathers have transgressed against me to this very day. The descendants also are impudent and stubborn: I send you to them, and you shall say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord God.’ And whether they hear or refuse to hear (for they are a rebellious house) they will know that a prophet has been among them. And you, son of man, be not afraid of them, nor be afraid of their words, ~though briers and thorns are with you and you sit on scorpions.~ (Rev.9:3; Eze.2:6) Be not afraid of their words, nor be dismayed at their looks, for they are a rebellious house. And ~you shall speak my words to them, whether they hear or refuse to hear~, for they are a rebellious house. But you, son of man, hear what I say to you. Be not rebellious like that rebellious house; open your mouth and eat what I give you.” And when I looked, behold, a hand was stretched out to me, and behold, a scroll of a book was in it. And he spread it before me. And it had writing on the front and on the back, and there were written on it words of lamentation and mourning and woe." (Rev.8:13; 20:12)
So while we are not obligated to cast pearls before swine; we need to discern who those swine, dogs, "~thorns~" and "scorpions" are. https://4womaninthewilderness.blogspot.com/2013/06/dogs.html YHVH tells us in Rev.9:3,5,7.These are the ones bearing what seems like "crowns" of authority, an army that goes forth as multitudinous as a locust swarm. Their target? The "unsealed men", anointed previous to their being sealed. Why unsealed? Because they are obviously still under the domination of these "Locust/Scorpions" instead of Yhvh. Only by being set loose (Rev.9:14) from this smoke-like river of Satan's sons and their lies (Rev.12:15; 9:11; John 8:44; 2Thess. 2:3,9; Rev.12:3,9; 13:1,14,6); can these chosen ones become sealed as loyal to Yhvh (Rev.20:4). Yet we see from Eze.2 that a witness still has to be given to the "rebellious house". ~This is the light,~ although these empowered Locust/Scorpions exist, we may not conclude that all "Jehovah's Witnesses" are these "thorns". Only the elders are depicted as having counterfeit crowns of authority. These ones are the "thorns" and "scorpions". Yhvh tells us that they are beyond conversion to truth, by the "breastplates of iron" which they wear (Rev.9:9). While the entire "house"/"land"/"fold" of God's people are blinded by these insect vessels of darkness (Rev.9:2,3; Jer.25:29,30; Rev.12:16) and it causes them to leave loyalty to Yhvh; not all are those insects of authority/elders. We can not condone the idolatry of "Jehovah's Witnesses", nor continue to remain in company with them (Psalm 26:4; 1Cor. 5:11; Rev.18:4). But Ezekiel chapter 2 is clear, we must witness to them this final warning.
Jesus clearly showed me that the great majority will not heed the warning, not because we did not reach them with it, but due to their own hardened hearts, they stand as judged. Yhvh abandons them to their own desire. (Luke 17:28-37 LINK; 2Thess. 2:11; Ps.94:23) I hope you can see why this warning needs to be given. It saves us individually from blood-guilt. It establishes Yhvh's justice in condemning the wicked (who were first given warning). It saves those who can hear. It seals the rest of those who prove faithful, as well as the unfaithful "ten kings" who side with the Beast. All extremely important events of prophecy! I hope all who possibly can, will help. As I said, I will post details as they are established.
Your comments about the reaction of those marked by the Beast, help to illuminate the true identity of the Organization within prophecy. There is no other authority and power on earth, that has this control over people's minds and actions, as does this Wild Beast of Rev.13:8,15,16. We are seeing the fulfillment of that prophesied displaced loyalty and worship of the Wild Beast, right before our own eyes! God's Kingdom draws near!
https://4womaninthewilderness.blogspot.com/2013/05/warning-letter.html
Pearl's letter and Obadiah's letter

Does anyone have an experience with this online flower shop? My sister ordered a flower for me for my birthday and it never came on the day or after…
She also paid a lot of money and apparently they don’t even have a flower that she ordered. She is in different country and just wanted me to get a nice birthday gift from her. Now I feel really bad because she paid so much and they never delivered.
I tried googling some information about the company but didn’t find much so hopefully this thread can serve as a warning to who may want to order in future…

Another post, this one is a bit different though. I sat down today, thought about my relationship with food, my body, myself really throughout my life. Because after Week 2 of “all in” recovery, I slowly see my love-handles and belly creeping back up, scared me at first, or still does but see below.
As a kid, even teenager I loved sweets, I’d oftentimes eat a lot of sweets and absolutely loved Sundays because those were the days when my family made pancakes for breakfast, I’d easily eat 8 or so pancakes and it was bliss for me as a child. During high school I had a phase where Cinammon Toast Crunch and KitKats were my favourite thing in the world, I always loved going to dinner with friends and family, loved helping my mother cook and loved school bake sales. The thing is, I also enjoyed many other things, enjoyed exercise, enjoyed grabbing beers with friends until the early morning, enjoyed video games and enjoyed travel.
Less than a year ago, I decided I felt a bit out of shape for my standards and wanted to lose a couple pounds again. Little bit more running, cutting back on the snacks and a bit more healthy food.
It turned into an addiction, an addiction that ruined all of these aspects of my life. An addiction that took the things I loved and destroyed them. Now, when I think of these things, nothing but food comes to mind. Or at least it used to. “How many calories are in x?” “What could I eat to stay within my limits?” “What game would be best to play so I don’t think about food/hunger?” It’s controlled all these aspects of my life.
I had for a short while “achieved” my absolute dream body. The one I thought I’d never have. The one I was always so slightly jealous of, the kind of body that you can see plastered on social media, on magazine covers and in movies, the body that was deemed fit and healthy. I was proud and it kept me going, trying to maintain this body. I got compliments, god did I feel confident, taking my shirt off at the beach was finally something I was looking forward to.
I also had no sex drive, my ass hurt when I sat down because there wasn’t enough fat there, I slept terribly, I had to pee every 20-30 minutes because I was chugging a gallon of water before every meal to not feel hungry. I felt invalid, because I was already eating at “maintenance” at that point, felt like nothing could be wrong because I wasn’t underweight. Felt like the dead look of my face was just something that came with being leaner than I was used to. I looked up to fitness influencers, even upped my calories to above maintenance, which still felt like a prison. I went to sleep thinking of all the things I’d eat the next day, just to pace myself at breakfast to save calories for dinner. I barely recognised myself, it felt like a stranger was controlling this body, my mind felt like it wasn’t mine anymore. It consumed me, maintaining this physique became the most important aspect of my life, a reason to cancel dates, cancel vacations, a reason to “keep going”, whatever the fuck that means.
So, sitting here, scared shitless because of the “all in” and the rapid weight gain. I want to apologise to the chubby version of myself that I guess I will inevitably return to.
I am sorry you didn’t love yourself. I am sorry you didn’t feel attractive enough. I am sorry for starving you. I am sorry for pushing through injuries and going to sleep hungry. I am sorry for not accepting our faults. I am sorry for pushing you way past what you felt comfortable with. I am sorry for masking this hell I created for us as discipline. I am sorry you didn’t enjoy your birthday dinner, sorry you couldn’t enjoy moms cooking without worrying about calories, sorry you couldn’t enjoy our last vacation because you had to run 10 kilometres to be able to eat to fullness at dinner, sorry for making you order that dumbass salad instead of the steak the next day to make up for potentially overeating. I am sorry for all the memories you missed out on because you wouldn’t let yourself have a drink. I am sorry for ever letting it get this far.
I hope for both of us, that once we get out of this shit show and food becomes normal again, that we can love our body and enjoy life to the fullest. And who knows, maybe future you can cut down on the Reese’s a tiny bit, or not, your call.
To anyone else struggling, or as I often do, feeling invalid, especially those folks without a diagnosis, those folks who aren’t underweight, those whose stories may be different, I feel you all and you’re all just as valid as anyone else. We all deserve to be free from this nightmare and to enjoy life without much worrying at all. I hope you’re all doing as well as possible and much love to this community from my end. I’m sure I’ll be right back here with another post asking for reaffirmation or reassurance. But for now, I just hope you enjoyed the read, just something I had to let off my chest.

So I want to stop talking with my sister.
She says she has BPD. Tbh it's more like an excuse or apologism. Maybe she does have it, idk. She became worse after she started reading on BPD. She consumed the most of BPD related content in her native language online, She also claimed she has other disorders.
She never done any work in our relationship, meanwhile I changed my character, reviewed my beliefs, how I act, etc. And that's kinda still not enough. I can't be comfortable and vulnerable and I really need to walk on eggshells, because it's not only about my beliefs, but also about the timings, the form of words, trying to read her mind, etc. I really am under control. It's like I'm talking to some fucking king who only communicates with you if you do it the way he wants and when he wants.
See I stopped talking with her when she was 14, when I moved out of my home, out from parents that are more like narcissists. I didn't contacted her for 2 years with a bit. I stopped speaking to her because she was like nuisance. She liked to create issues out of thin air, then act her issues are more complex then mine, even though I was and am an adult, and I believe my issues are worse, because I got bills to pay and other stuff (tbh her beliefs fuck with my head, I really now low-key think that her problems in school are worse than my problems with work, home, finances, what I have to eat and etc. Maybe it's because I have a lot of resilience. So most of her problems are self created)
So, I didn't spoke with her for some time. And then decided to rekindle our relationship. Her personality was different for like 20-40 percent. Before her beliefs were elastic because she was younger, now they are rigid. Now it's harder for me to communicate with her because she is obtuse, she can't reconsider things, and maybe I don't deserve it, yes, but I am not a figure that she admires anymore
I talked with her for a year and now I'm back to the square one - I want to stop contact with her because she makes my life *worse*
People said that because she is crazy at 14 it is ok, she will change later. Well she is almost 17 now, she is still insufferable
I wanted to help her and help her as an older sibling, well I kinda can't bear this responsibility anymore. I have other things to do and other places to be. But at the same time who knows what we'll happen to her without support. OTOH she is almost 17 and is old enough to be wise enough, so maybe I do need to ditch her
She said that she needs psychotherapy and other things, I offered her money. I did what no one did to me - no one supported me financially and here I am ready to support her. She's either acting like I didn't offer her money or she's just not making any changes in her life.
I've sent her money for lunches and stuff (she asked for it), but I feel like she acts like it's nothing because it's easy for me to send it to her. I often gave ger support over her problems and dilemmas, still doesn't enough, and "as it turns out", I traumadump her, even though in most cases she can't even give me 2 minutes of support! Meanwhile I respond to her every message and request whatever I am occupied with. Her support to me was always shallow! And I don't even ask much from her, just spend with me a few minutes, and yet she can't do it outside of few rare occasions (that she (hopefully inadvertently) used as a reason to try to guilt trip me)
So I just want to stop contact with her because it will make my life a bit better. My life is not as good as it could be, and it would be a step forward for improvement
I don't think I could do limited contact because she gets triggered by all kinds of bullshit that I don't even have responsibility over, as I said I have many problems that I need to deal with, like saving up for an apartment. She also will blur the lines and make problems complex, so that I wouldn't be able to disengage. Also I have personal relationships only with people with whom I can be vulnerable with. For now only she can be vulnerable, and that she does in a toxic way
See, I already stopped contact with her before, so I'm not much dependent on her, but I want to reach some closure here, to fix at least one of my problems. Thankfully I don't think it's going to be hard for me to stop talking with her
Can anyone relate or say something on topic?

So I want to stop talking with my sister.
She says she has BPD. Tbh it's more like an excuse or apologism. Maybe she does have it, idk. She became worse after she started reading on BPD. She consumed the most of BPD related content in her native language online, She also claimed she has other disorders.
She never done any work in our relationship, meanwhile I changed my character, reviewed my beliefs, how I act, etc. And that's kinda still not enough. I can't be comfortable and vulnerable and I really need to walk on eggshells, because it's not only about my beliefs, but also about the timings, the form of words, trying to read her mind, etc. I really am under control. It's like I'm talking to some fucking king who only communicates with you if you do it the way he wants and when he wants.
See I stopped talking with her when she was 14, when I moved out of my home, out from parents that are more like narcissists. I didn't contacted her for 2 years with a bit. I stopped speaking to her because she was like nuisance. She liked to create issues out of thin air, then act her issues are more complex then mine, even though I was and am an adult, and I believe my issues are worse, because I got bills to pay and other stuff (tbh her beliefs fuck with my head, I really now low-key think that her problems in school are worse than my problems with work, home, finances, what I have to eat and etc. Maybe it's because I have a lot of resilience. So most of her problems are self created)
So, I didn't spoke with her for some time. And then decided to rekindle our relationship. Her personality was different for like 20-40 percent. Before her beliefs were elastic because she was younger, now they are rigid. Now it's harder for me to communicate with her because she is obtuse, she can't reconsider things, and maybe I don't deserve it, yes, but I am not a figure that she admires anymore
I talked with her for a year and now I'm back to the square one - I want to stop contact with her because she makes my life *worse*
People said that because she is crazy at 14 it is ok, she will change later. Well she is almost 17 now, she is still insufferable
I wanted to help her and help her as an older sibling, well I kinda can't bear this responsibility anymore. I have other things to do and other places to be. But at the same time who knows what we'll happen to her without support. OTOH she is almost 17 and is old enough to be wise enough, so maybe I do need to ditch her
She said that she needs psychotherapy and other things, I offered her money. I did what no one did to me - no one supported me financially and here I am ready to support her. She's either acting like I didn't offer her money or she's just not making any changes in her life.
I've sent her money for lunches and stuff (she asked for it), but I feel like she acts like it's nothing because it's easy for me to send it to her. I often gave ger support over her problems and dilemmas, still doesn't enough, and "as it turns out", I traumadump her, even though in most cases she can't even give me 2 minutes of support! Meanwhile I respond to her every message and request whatever I am occupied with. Her support to me was always shallow! And I don't even ask much from her, just spend with me a few minutes, and yet she can't do it outside of few rare occasions (that she (hopefully inadvertently) used as a reason to try to guilt trip me)
So I just want to stop contact with her because it will make my life a bit better. My life is not as good as it could be, and it would be a step forward for improvement
I don't think I could do limited contact because she gets triggered by all kinds of bullshit that I don't even have responsibility over, as I said I have many problems that I need to deal with, like saving up for an apartment. She also will blur the lines and make problems complex, so that I wouldn't be able to disengage. Also I have personal relationships only with people with whom I can be vulnerable with. For now only she can be vulnerable, and that she does in a toxic way
See, I already stopped contact with her before, so I'm not much dependent on her, but I want to reach some closure here, to fix at least one of my problems. Thankfully I don't think it's going to be hard for me to stop talking with her
Can anyone relate or say something on topic?