I have an absolutely tremendous 5-year-old daughter. She's beautiful, smart, creative, curious, and funny - she's my world. I also strongly suspect that she meets diagnostic criteria for ASD. Her pediatrician and SLP essentially say they don't see the value of giving her a formal ASD diagnosis at the moment, as she is "mild," already receiving supportive services, and is in a private school that caters to her individual needs. My wife's family has a strong history of ASD (dad and brothers), and I would all but guarantee my daughter meets diagnostic criteria. Knowing the way accommodations work, I anticipate that there will be a point in the future when we need to get her formally assessed/diagnosed.
Academically, my daughter is right there with her peers, and in some places (e.g., reading/math) a bit advanced. She is super compliant, following all classroom rules and is a favorite of nearly every teacher. She has a history of expressive and receptive language issues, and has been in speech therapy since the age of 3.5. She's made great progress, but she is still behind in this area. She can function, but she communicates less clearly and with less complexity (in language structure and ideas) than her peers. She has a slew of others indicators - sensitivity to loud noises, restrictive food palette, aversion to eye contact, variable dislike of physical contact. Most notably, she struggles socially, and has really never demonstrated an observable interest in forming friendships with her peers, though they seek her out. She gets invited to birthdays and playdates, kids give her gifts (e.g., drawings) and they find her funny (she's super silly, which still plays very well at this age...I also think she's hilarious). She will engage with peers in structured activities (e.g., playing soccer or hide and seek) and she'll jump right into games with random kids at gymnastics and play places. However, it seems to be more about keeping herself entertained (e.g., doing the activity that they are doing) rather than the interaction with the kids that she is interested in, and she does not seem interested in interaction for interaction's sake. It is profoundly different from her peers, who all gravitate toward one another. This has always been true with her. If she has her choice, she will play by herself. She has literally never asked about a peer. She has never requested a playdate with a peer. She seems fairly indifferent when we offer playdates with her friends, even though they are begging to see her. She has never given a gift to a peer or expressed an interest in doing so, though she will if you prompt her to (but it really just feels like she is following instructions). She has never talked about liking a peer or missing a peer. She honestly does the same thing with everyone, including my wife and I. There just seems to be a clear dividing line, where she likes the things the person is doing or the things connected to the person (e.g., what they are playing with), but she could kind of take or leave the actual person. It honestly feels like she isn't interested in trying to form friendships - it doesn't seem like she feels peer interaction has much to offer her by itself, which I interpret as low social motivation (i.e., not deriving a ton of reinforcement from social interaction itself). It isn't antisocial, obviously - just like socially neutral. However, I'm afraid I'm just misreading the situation, and what I'm seeing doesn't reflect how she is actually feeling (i.e., she might want friendships but struggle navigating them).
All I care about is supporting her and helping her thrive. I guess my question is: how do you differentiate between low social drive (i.e., not finding peer friendships desirable by themselves) from wanting friendships but being unsure how to navigate social situations in service of attaining/building them? I want to help my daughter build needed skill sets and address areas of needed growth (e.g., social skills), but I don't want to make her feel like there is something wrong with her for not wanting to play with other kids to the same degree they want to play with her and each other. I want her to feel accepted as she is and not pressured into interactions she isn't interested in beyond what is necessary. Most importantly, I just don't want her to be lonely, and I genuinely can't tell if she's lonely or simply not very interested in socializing.
Any insight is so deeply appreciated. Thank you so much!

Introduction
Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) is a fatal, multisystem neurodegenerative disease that causes the death of motoneurons progressively and eventually leads to paralysis [1]. The etiology of sporadic ALS is still unclear [2]. ALS leads to death on average 2-4 years after the onset of symptoms [3].
From the Dharma point of view, all illnesses are divided into 2 categories: physical illness and karmic illness. This classification was designed by Master Lu. Generally speaking, if a disease cannot be cured by a doctor, it is a karmic illness. For physical illness, the patient should seek help from a doctor, and for karmic illness, the patient should seek help from Dharma. When karma flares, usually triggered by some factors, the spirit(s) (a respectful name of “ghost”) will occupy the patient. Then, it becomes a spiritual illness.
Since doctors cannot diagnose the cause and cannot treat it, ALS is apparently a karmic disease. In a Dharma Q&A program, Master Lu found a spirit of dead man occupying a lady’s body because she killed a pregnant big sea turtle in her previous life as a fisherman, causing her ALS this life [4]. Thus, we can conclude that ALS is a spiritual illness.
To treat a spiritual illness, you will need to ascend the spirit(s) occupying your body. Once the spirit(s) leave your body, you will recover your health. Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door teaches you how to ascend spirit(s).
Patient Wan, female, 46 (2012), Elementary School Degree, Hubei province, China
Once I was a totally ignorant sentient being. I have committed 4 of the 5 Buddhist precepts of killing, stealing, lust and delusion. I had two abortions, opened a restaurant for a year, sold lobsters, killed a lot of turtles. I have played mahjong for over 20 years and cheated at the mahjong table in order to win money while gambling. I have committed evil acts of sexual misconduct. I have created many oral karmas, for example, breaking up my brother's marriage. The terrible thing regarding ignorance is that I was doing something that hurt me, but I did not even know it, and I thought it was normal because many people did it, so I enjoyed doing it. I did not know that good and evil would be rewarded at the end of the day.
In 2012, at 46 years old, I realized I often fell while walking, but I didn’t pay much attention to it. In 2013, I was diagnosed with ALS in a hospital in Wuhan, China. Since 2015, I have been unable to take care of myself. Attempting to treat ALS, since 2013, I have tried nearly a hundred different medications, and for 3 months, I received treatment in the most advanced hospital in Beijing. Regardless, the deteriorating condition was not controlled. My body was weak, my neck was flaccid, not firm. I could not lift my head, and I could not speak clearly either. The only thing I could do was to write slowly on the cell phone. By 2019, the condition had become worse and worse. Since the onset of ALS, my shoulders and cervical spine have been unbearably painful. I would even choke while drinking and eating. After being tortured by ALS for 8 years I became shriveled and had lost over 5 kilograms of weight. I felt as if I had arrived at the end of my life.
Heaven never blocks a man's will, and there is always a way out. I appreciate Buddha and Bodhisattva for their mercy and care towards sentient beings. In May 2020, a Buddhism practitioner who practiced Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door sent me a chanting player. This was when I started my Buddhist journey reciting Buddhist scriptures daily. Perhaps because I had a strong affinity with Buddha in my previous generations, I was able to initiate and love studying the Dharma immediately from the very beginning.
Now, every morning after getting up and before starting the daily recitation, I drink a cup of Great Compassion Water, take the compound Danshen tablets, and drink a bowl of red dates, wolfberries and American ginseng juice. My daily recitation consists of: Great Compassion Mantra 49 times, Heart Sutra 49 times, Cundi Dharani 49 times, Xiao Zai Ji Xiang Shen Zhou 49 times, Amitabha Pure Land Rebirth Mantra 21-49 times, Mantra to Untie Karmic Knots 49 times, the Eighty-eight Buddhas Great Repentance Text 5 times, and Qi Fo Mie Zui Zhen Yan 108 times. Because oral karma is too heavy, to specifically eliminate it, I recite the Qi Fo Mie Zui Zhen Yan 108 times per day. I can recite 4 Little Houses every day.
In May 2021, I made 5 great vows:

1. Become a vegetarian for life.
   
2. Never kill beings.
   
3. Release 10,000 fish (time range was not set).
   
4. Recite 1000 Little Houses for my karmic creditors within 2 years.
   
5. After recovery, I will convince sentient beings to practice Buddhism using my experiences.
   

Every morning, I say the above 5 vows to Bodhisattva one time and, I also add: "I will rectify my past mistakes and will not create new karma for the rest of my life."
I am very grateful to the great Mercy of Guan Yin Bodhisattva! Twice I dreamed that Guan Yin Bodhisattva performed surgery in my head and throat to help me get rid of the pain. One day I was in a bad mood and that night, in my dream, I saw these large words "Do it even if it's hard!". I knew it was Merciful Guan Yin Bodhisattva spurring me to go on despite the odds! I appreciate the Bodhisattva for Her Great Compassion saving both my physical life and spiritual life without giving up! I am also grateful to the WeChat Buddhism practitioners for their unfailing support and help.
Compared to when I just began reciting Buddhist scriptures in May 2020, my speech speed has improved greatly, and I feel no pressure reciting Buddhist scriptures following the fast-talking version on the mobile phone. However, I still can't pronounce clearly; my speech is slurred. This may be the retribution resulting from my oral karma when I broke up my younger brother's marriage. When a man plants seeds, he should harvest what he planted. I only understood this truth after I studied Buddhism. As a Buddhism practitioner one must be cautious to avoid generating karma, particularly, do not get involved in cause and effect of others carelessly.
Although I have only practiced Buddhism for 1 year, I am delighted that my illness has been effectively controlled and the wellness of my body has improved. I have regained weight and strength. There are no atrophied muscles anymore. Now, I can stand up on my own from a stool. My tongue is also much more flexible, my throat is unobstructed, I am able to swallow, and food and water no longer make me choke. All this progress convinced me that studying Buddhism and reciting Buddhist scriptures can definitely change my miserable destiny! It takes more than one day to freeze three feet of ice; it also takes more than one day to melt the ice. I don't dare to wish to fully recover immediately, because the long-standing karma from years of killing, stealing, lust and delusion cannot be eliminated overnight. As long as I keep practicing, my condition will definitely improve!
I am grateful for the disease that allowed me to enter the Dharma Door. Looking back on those days when I could not even have the strength to kill myself, my life was worse than death, just like living hell on earth. In contrast, I live a happy life today. Practicing Buddhism has not only placed my body on the road to recovery, but it has also helped me place my mind in the right place to understand what it means to be a human being. I will cherish my Buddha's affinity and spiritual life, practice Buddhism and cultivate my mind, in order to acknowledge the Buddha and Bodhisattva's grace!
References
[1] Sonkodi B et al. 2022. Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis and delayed onset muscle soreness in light of the impaired blink and stretch reflexes - watch out for Piezo2. Open Med (Wars). 2022 Mar 1;17(1):397-402.
[2] Newell ME et al. 2022. Systematic and state-of the science review of the role of environmental factors in Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) or Lou Gehrig's Disease.
Sci Total Environ. 2022 Apr 15;817:152504.
[3] Erdmann A et al. 2022. Talking about the end of life: communication patterns in amyotrophic lateral sclerosis - a scoping review. Palliat Care Soc Pract. 2022 Mar 15;16:26323524221083676.
[4] 卢军宏，《玄艺综述》2017年6月27日，时间 00:32 - 11:00
Shared by: Dharma Practitioner Wan, Gratitude and Namaste!
Translated by: Frank
2021-06-01 received
2021-07-27 Chinese version
2022-03-29 English version
Statement by Translator

1. The story was translated from Chinese into English by meaning, not word by word. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the Chinese version, I’d like to seek forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
   
2. Author Wan was interviewed by Frank during the translation for the detailed information.
   

Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下
学佛念经，使我枯木逢春，让患有渐冻症的我走上了康复之路
顶礼南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨摩诃萨！
顶礼十方三世一切诸佛菩萨及龙天护法金刚菩萨！
顶礼弘法度众舍身忘我的恩师慈父LJH台长！
大家好，我是明天一片光明同修。我分享的题目是：学佛念经，使我枯木逢春，让患有渐冻症的我走上了康复之路
曾经的我，是一名地地道道的无明众生。佛法五戒中的杀、盗、淫、妄四样我都干过。我堕胎过两个孩子，开过一年餐馆，卖过龙虾，杀过很多甲鱼。我打麻将有20多年，为了在赌博时赢钱，在麻将桌上作弊。我有过邪淫的行为。我造过很多口业，例如，拆散弟弟的姻缘。无明的可怕之处在于我正在做着伤害我自己的事，却不自知，还以为这很正常，故而乐此不疲。殊不知，善恶到头终有报，只争来早与来迟。
2012年，46岁，我走路容易摔跤，但是我没有太在意。2013年，47岁，在武汉某医院我被诊断出患有渐冻症。2015年至2021年的6年时间里，我生活无法自理。我服用过近百种药品，还曾经到北京某知名医院治疗了三个月，都没能控制住病情的恶化。我的身体绵软无力，脖子绵软地抬不起头，话说不清楚，只能在手机上慢慢写字。从2019年开始，病情越来越严重。肩膀、颈椎犯起病来疼痛难忍；甚至连喝水、吃东西都会被呛到。我被疾病折磨得干枯萎缩，爆瘦了十几斤。我感觉自己已经熬到了生命尽头……
天无绝人之路，感恩佛菩萨的垂怜眷顾。2020年5月，有一位修学XLFM的师兄给我寄来了念经的播放器。从此我走进了ⅩLFM，开始学佛念经做功课了。也许是自己的佛缘具足，从一开始我就喜欢上了念经。不过，我的学佛之路并不是一帆风顺的，也有些许来自先生的阻碍。感恩微信群里的师兄们的开导和鼓励，才使我坚持到今天。
现在，每天早上起床后，我就喝大悲水，之后服用复方丹参片，再喝一碗红枣、枸杞、西洋参汁，然后开始念功课。我每天的功课是：《大悲咒》49遍，《心经》49遍，《准提神咒》49遍，《消灾吉祥神咒》49遍，《往生咒》49遍，《解结咒》49遍，《礼佛大忏悔文》5遍和《七佛灭罪真言》108遍。因为我的口业很重，所以我每天念诵108遍《七佛灭罪真言》专门用于消口业。每天我能念4张经文组合。
2021年5月，我许了如下五个大愿：
一、终身吃全素；
二、终生不杀生；
三、放生上万（没许多长时间内完成）；
四、在两年内念诵1000张小房子；
五、康复后现身说法，救度众生。
每天早上，我都跟菩萨把以上5个愿力说一遍。并且，我还补充一句：“我余生痛改前非，不造新业。”
感恩大慈大悲观世音菩萨！我曾经两次梦到观世音菩萨到我梦里，为我头部和咽喉做手术，帮我拔除痛苦。有一次我心情不好，晚上在梦里就看见“再难也要前行！”几个大字。我知道，这是观世音菩萨在慈悲点化我要知难而进！感恩大慈大悲观世音菩萨一直在不离不弃地救度我的生命和慧命！也感恩师兄们一直不厌其烦地支持我、帮助我！
较之于去年刚刚念经的时候，我现在的语速大大地提高了，跟着手机快语速版念经也毫无压力了。但是，我现在还是发音不清楚，即含糊不清。这也许就是因为我口业太重所致！是我拆散小弟姻缘的现世报。因果报应，丝毫不爽啊！这是在我学佛后才明白的道理。所以，学佛做人要谨小慎微，如履薄冰，更不能随便动他人因果。
虽然我学佛念经仅有一年的时间，但让我欣喜的是，我的的病情得到了有效控制，身体各方面都有了很好的改善。人长胖了，也有力气了。萎缩的肌肉长出来了，现在我可以从凳子上自己站起来了。舌头也灵活多了，吞咽时喉咙无阻碍，吃饭喝水也不会被呛到了。这一切都让我坚信，学佛念经一定可以改变我的命运！只要坚持念经，我的身体一定会越来越好的！
承蒙观世音菩萨慈悲保佑，让我的饮食逐渐恢复了正常，使我有了康复的资本。我相信只要我努力精进地学佛念经，身体一定会越来越好，一切都只是时间问题。先生脾气不好，学佛念经后，我就把他的坏脾气视为我修行修心的增上缘，促使我在念经学佛的路上更快地成长。虽然我先生现在还没有开悟，看到我学佛后各方面的改变，先生转变态度，如今支持我学佛念经了。我很感恩他能支持我学佛念经。
一人学佛，庇荫全家。自从2020年农历九月十五我家设佛台以后，儿子的生意也越来越好了。观世音菩萨大慈大悲，不但救度我，连我的孩子也一起呵护。

感恩这场疾病，让我有幸走进了XLFM。如今回想起来，曾经的自己连自杀的能力都没有，那些日子真是生不如死，简直就是活在人间地狱。相比之下，今天的生活太幸福了。学佛念经不但让我的身体走上康复之路，而且让我把心态整理好了，明白了做人的道理。有菩萨保佑，无论什么事情，我都充满信心。
冰冻三尺，非一日之寒；冰雪消融，非一日之功。我不敢奢望马上恢复到正常人那样，因为来自杀盗淫妄多年的宿业不可能一夜之间消掉。我时时刻刻告诫自己：要想完全康复，只有努力精进地学佛念经。我一定会好好珍惜自己的佛缘和慧命，好好学佛修心，报答佛菩萨的恩情！
再次感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨摩诃萨，感恩十方三世一切诸佛菩萨及龙天护法金刚菩萨！感恩弘法度众舍身忘我的恩师慈父LJH台长！
如果在分享过程中有不如理不如法之处，祈请大慈大悲观世音菩萨慈悲原谅！请十方三世一切诸佛菩萨慈悲原谅！请龙天护法金刚菩萨慈悲原谅！请恩师慈父慈悲原谅！请师兄们批评指正！我自己的业障自己背，不让师父背，不让师兄们背！
分享人：万同修（明天一天光芒） 感恩合十
2021-06-01 收到
2021-07-27发布
2022-03-29 英文
2023-02-25 更新
您想改变命运吗？
我们手把手传授您观世音菩萨的心灵法门五大法宝：“许愿”、“放生”、“念经”、“读《白话佛法》、大忏悔”。您将亲自见证如何通过佛法让自己及家人获得身心安定、病苦解除、冤结化解、智慧增长、学业进步、事业提升、家庭幸福。免费学习，免费结缘。
欢迎联络Lily佛友：sunnypurplelily@gmail.com
或者加Lily佛友微信：HanJing20210820
Disclaimer of Liability:
The contents of the presentation and answers, including text, images, and other information obtained from Dharma practitioners, are provided strictly for reference purposes. Due to the unique nature of individual karma, results similar to those experienced by the authors may not be replicated. The experiences and advice shared should not be construed as medical advice or a diagnosis.
In the event of an emergency, it is crucial to promptly contact your doctor or emergency services by dialing 911. Relying on any information found in the answers is done solely at your own risk. The translator and answerer bear no responsibility for the consequences. By using or misusing the contents, you accept liability for any personal injury, including death. It is imperative to exercise caution and seek professional medical guidance for health-related concerns.

(Sorry for typos or grammatical errors I’m on my phone and it’s a ton of info to edit.)
At this point I’m a 99 percent sure Diddy is the one pulling the strings behind the Kendrick and Drake beef.
At this point I’m a 99 percent sure Diddy is the one pulling the strings behind the Kendrick and Drake beef. I believe that Al B. Sure! was planing to release all the info he had on Diddy in 2022, but may have been poisoned beforehand similar to theories about Diddys’s ex wife Kim Porter who was originally married to Kim before Diddy stole her away along with Al’s son, also Diddy’s stepson Quincy. Diddy has also been directly tied to the murders or mysterious deaths of at least a half a dozen more people who were close associates from the beginning of his career and were key players in the formation of Bad Boy. Coincidentally many of the victims had either exposed or were threatening to expose evidence related to all of these crimes. They are also using Keefe D. to take the charge for 2Pacs murder so he can spin the story and leave out and ties to Diddy who ordered the hit or did it himself.
Unfortunately for Diddy, unlike the rest of the people he had successfully silenced in the past, Al ended up coming out of his coma and revealing all the info he had on Diddy, including that he was responsible for him falling into a coma. After he came out of the coma Diddy knew he was about to go down and before the raid he destroyed and staged all of his homes with evidence that would verify all the claims related to other celebrities over the age of 18. Meanwhile he got rid of all the videos involving murder, sa, child abuse, bestiality and other evidence that would bring major charges. This is so he can cooperate with the Feds and help reduce his sentence. If he hid all the evidence they would know and work overtime to find it. Instead he lied by omission and corroborated the accusations that won’t completely destroy him. He can then release all his dirt to seem like he made all the blackmail with the intention of bringing down known predators who were able to get away with the same things he’s guilty of.
In the video of Diddy in the wig, he talks about partying with Drake and The Weekend and I believe he was able to acquire the blackmail. He then released the blackmail to selected people to ensure they leak at the appropriate time. The plan is to publicly out Drake for sex crimes so the rest of Hollywood knows not to testify against him. During the auction mentioned by ebony prince they are going to auction off all the dirt Diddy has collected the last 30 years. This includes dirt on Trump, which may be the reason behind all of this. The auction is four days after Election Day and will be used as a fail safe in case Trump wins the election.
I’m trying my best to add everything, just struggling because I have like 30 pages worth of write ups. If you want more evidence I have a ton, on my other account, I don’t want to spam so just dm me if you want additional evidence. The full post above is multiple pages long so I just chose the important part because very few people on here have the attention span for it.
You don’t have to believe it, it’s just my personal opinions, but they are based on facts and about 80 hours of research.
https://www.reddit.comRationalSchizo812020/s/IsgRSkK8KM
Check out the post covering Diddy, Drake, Kendrick, and Kanye
Two articles about modern sex cults still in operation: https://amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/sep/28/new-york-satanic-cult-764-fbi
https://www.complex.com/life/a/brad-callas/accused-cult-leader-nature-boy-sentenced-to-life
Yesterday I found Ye’s full interview with The Download from before the beef blew up. It discusses a lot of my connections and hints that Ye is partially involved. You can skip to around 13 minutes in.
(Recently the charges against Lucian Grange were dropped showing he most likely is working behind the scenes as well and has some influence. He may be related to the leak as well. He could have also been the one who supplied the blackmail. Another alternative is Diddy went to the feds on his own accord, but when multiple lawsuits pop up very quickly, especially after thirty years of avoiding charges related to tons of sketchy shit, it usually means there is some type of coordination. Look at TI and his wife’s allegations and what lead up to those events.)
Full post:
This is all speculation so please don’t victim blame or spread conspiracies about a possible survivor of C.S abuse. This is why many don’t come forward. All I’m trying to do is point out the large amount of details surrounding the rumor that stand out as odd to me. By no means does this dismiss his claims. I’m not a lawyer, but if he was suing my client, this is some of the evidence I would use in the case.
Before I start I need to put in a small disclaimer. **The subjects I covered in my essay are well known to be linked to conspiracy theory communities that have been equated to terrorist groups. The end goal of a lot of these communities is to promote political divide, antisemetism, homophobia, and violence. I think the ultimate goal is to create such a massive gap between the left and right that the two party system fails and we fall into anarchy allowing the people who really pull the strings to restructure and in order to retain their power. It’s already evident that Biden isn’t able to do nearly as much as he could do if he didn’t have to consider the opposing party’s majority vote as well. Whoever wins I feel the results will be the same, violent protests aiming to reverse the vote. If this is achieved it will be the death of democracy in America.
I highly encourage anyone who identifies with either political party and are attracted to controversial subjects or consider themselves to be contrarian to please look out for any conspiracies that seem to be targeted towards you or the community you’re a part of. If they share similar ideas to the findings I made in my research, please do not engage.
I’ve watched the conception and the eventual downfalls off the P-gate and Q conspiracy communities. It didn’t take me long to figure out the eventual end game and step back from the community while continuing independent research. If you’re letting someone else to the research for you, you really need to be sure to trust the source and be aware of possible ulterior motives. It’s really dangerous territory though, filled with hidden traps that can draw you in and send you so deep that you either end up going into psychosis from the stress and paranoid, or you do what I did and step back for the sake of your mental health. I hate even sharing things like this because I know it may not have the effect I intended, but on the other hand people who are new to these subjects and conspiracies really, really need to take them seriously. They are not just games on the internet and there is a reason members of these communities have to hide in the shadows and lure people into their dark corners. There is also reason why they target the groups they do and I’ve noted a huge effort to indoctrinate people in rap community, the content creator community, and the celebrity gossip communities. I’ll let you guys draw your own conclusions as to why this is. I assume if you read this far you’re not dumb.
Once you’re stuck in their web it’s very difficult for most people to find their way back to society without seeing examples everywhere. I hope this is able to at least help one person who might be teetering on the edge of these rabbit holes. It’s not worth it and if I wasn’t sober and taking my meds, Id probably end up having a psychotic break. If you feel like you may be approaching that point you can still quit while you’re ahead.
Here are just a few of the things you can do to keep yourself from spiraling.
Take a step back for a while and focus on other things. Taking a hiatus from social media is crucial. If you can’t control yourself maybe detach from the news and internet entirely for a couple days. Even a long weekend can make a MASSIVE difference.
Try to get a good nights sleep and consider taking melatonin or an over the counter sleep aid.
Spend some time with friends or loved ones.
Eat some good, somewhat healthy, food and stay hydrated.
Try to get some sun and consider taking a walk or doing some other form of exercise.
Volunteer or do something to help your community if you want to continue working to benefit society.
Try to read a book or spend some time doing your favorite hobbies that aren’t related to any of the subjects I discuss below. Without further ado…
Ties Between Drake, Kendrick Lamar, and Violent Antigovernment Conspiracies
I recently saw an article about Bryshere Gray, a rappeactor best known for his role in Empire. He was born in Philadelphia and started rapping at 16. His manager Craig Mack, who facilitated his big break by getting him a role on the TV series Empire, is life long friends with Will Smith. Currently there are conflicting claims about whether he is currently suing or planning to sue Will Smith and P. Diddy for s. abusing him as a minor. It’s rumored he is trying to get 50 million dollars in damages. That number alone seems suspicious to me. That’s 20 million more than Cassie got and she dated and lived with Diddy for over a decade.
One of the other things I noticed off the jump was the fact that the only sources regarding the case were on social media along with one article on MSN, which is known for being a nest of clickbait journalism. Essentially they are the written version of gossip videos made by content creators. The only evidence I could find in these videos were a few short clips from his socials where is talking about the negative sides of fame and a clip of him on the red carpet with Will Smith. This might hint towards suppression, but I’m leaning toward this whole story being bullshit.
The only connection I found between him and Diddy is a song he did with 2 Chainz and Fabolous, the latter being signed to Bad Boy. He ended up getting signed to Columbia which falls under the Sony Music Entertainment while Bad Boy is under UMG. Considering these rumors came about a while back he hasn’t mentioned it at all as far as I know. Some might argue this could be a product of friction between labels or that he included Diddy because everyone knows he’s going down. On the other hand if he is a victims he may not have wanted his story told and doesn’t want to stoke the rumors by responding whether they’re true or not.
One of the biggest things that led me to question the validity of the claims is the fact that 90 percent of the sources I found were using a three minute clip from an interview with one of the top content creators on YouTube, I’ll call her J. At this point I’m 99 percent sure J is an opp, whether she knows it or not. She told his story in vivid detail accusing Will and Jada of luring young artists with promises of mentorship, then involving them in their bedroom activities.
It’s not really a stretch to think that Will might have a cuckold fetish and probably swings both ways. Two things that could ruin you in the 90’s, but neither or them could do more damage to their careers then they have already done by airing out intimate details of their relationship to the public. However the allegations involving minors are complete heresay. This leads me to believe these are just rumors from the 90’s updated to include modern conspiracy theories. J clearly also clearly has some homophobic tendencies, but uses her bisexuality as a pass to bash on most black gay men and even straight men who she claims to be gay. It’s all too obvious she still holds onto resentment over her career never taking off while a lot of the people she collaborated with turned into megastars which is a huge motivator for her content. She clearly still lives in the nineties when these type of allegations alone could seriously damage your career.
In Bryshere’s case, regardless if any of the details she shared were true, they shouldn’t have been aired to the public by anyone but Gray himself. This isn’t the first time J has leaked recordings, exploited, or stolen from victims she claimed to be advocating for. She has even doxxed victims by starting a women’s group for sa survivors and recording all their meetings. She eventually leaked some, claiming they were trying sabotage the group. When the rest found out or were threatened themselves, the group was quickly dissolved and covered up. Considering her track record it’s not unlikely that if true, she released Gray’s story after trying to ask for a payoff and not receiving it. Considering their is no evidence they’ve even met, it’s more likely she’s just reporting on local rumors considering her and Gray are both from Philly and now both live in the Dallas. It’s very important to look at J’s history to see the bigger picture here.
My theory is J was given permission to share her story detailing the dark side of the industry and promised protection if she also included certain details that they provided to her. If true, the motive could have been to help her home channel gain credibility and attract a large viewer base so they can manipulate the message. I believe these people do know some shit about some people, and they want to get out ahead and make sure they only go after their rivals.
I followed J, an up and coming influencer, to examine to see if I noticed any obvious agendas and stumbled upon a full blown conspiracy. I use as an example started with very levelheaded claims that were easy to digest and over the course of five years this influence lured in their viewers with insider knowledge that turned out to be true and by the end was spouting rumors that are easily traceable to certain movements that have been tied to antisemetism, anti LBGTQ, and violent ideologies. It started slow with a few buzzwords and before you knew it the comment sections had been taken over. She started by luring in the celebrity gossip community, specifically people over the age of 40, who treat gossip blogs like the gospel. It’s obvious why this community has been chosen as a target, and I’ve seen recently to rap community is not much better. I imagine whoever is orchestrating this campaign probably wasn’t expecting it to be this easy.
We very well may be witnessing a controlled takedown and the purpose usually is to take out any liabilities while painting their innocence. If a lot of sick people get outed for terrible crimes most people will assume the Feds weeded out all the bad seeds. It would be a public win for the FEDs and would address any criticism aimed at them and those in the industry who have been facing pressure to deal with these types of issues for at least 3 decades. It will also assuage a lot of the conspiracy communities who have been trying to bring light to these issues. I definitely believe the people they chose to take the rap are going to take the charges for all their co conspirators, so those close to them don’t catch any charges. This would be very important in a R.I.C.O. case.
After they’ve completed their mission and their message has been delivered they will then allow these messengers to continue to capitalize on their channel’s popularity. This way they could still manipulate to spread whatever they choose whenever it’s deemed it to be necessary, It probably won’t work too many times before people catch on. In they want to continue making content they can force them to dig up their old dirt. They could also easily provide them with a list of names they are and aren’t allowed to talk about. My guess is they know that most of them aren’t going to be able to find anything, and since they picked people willing to to say any thing for money, they know they will continue to do it with or without relevant information.
They could also continue aiding her in an effort to further the spread disinformation as a preemptive measure. They may threaten harm or violence if the view counts dip below a certain amount to prevent the messenger from self sabotaging in case they need to get their message to the massesIf in the future. If they do ever need them again to do the same thing or are themselves being targetted, they can use their messengers to discredit the facts about them and shine light on those who are leveling the allegations.
You may be wondering what if the enemy finds them and pays them more to doublecross their handlers? They can then use their messenger’s mental illness and paint them and their viewers as violent or mentally ill members of a disinformation cult and either blackmail them into retracting their claims or label them and their listeners as a disinformation cult that happened to be right about some things. Mental health issues can also help paint the narrative that the messenger is suicidal so they can take her out easier if needed. In the case of J it’s not out of the realm of possibility considering her recent struggle and probably played a big part in choosing her to be their mouth piece. since they can use her mental illness at any time to discredit her or create plausible deniability if any connection is made between them and they need to go to court to prove the opposite.
She’s such a wildcard their is no way they would’ve recruited her if they didn’t have an iron clad manipulation tactic with multiple failsafes in place. Usually threatening to kill someones entire family works just fine, but she doesn’t seem to be too worried about her families safety. This is why I think it’s the big labels going after their own artists because they know they’re probably going to get busted soon. Also studios rarely sign you and give you a good deal if they don’t have some type of dirt in case the artist to keep them in line, and use them for their own personal gains. They can also keep them from going after the messenger and better ensure their safety. If they had her go after another label’s artists they probably wouldn’t be able to cover all the bases when it comes to protection, which with J is necessary since she never has any security detail and constantly doxxes herself and her family on live.
While going though her interviews it became very clear to me something was very fishy off the rip. It became obvious after watching sections from all four of her main interviews that as time went on she began incorporating more and more lies and more and more ridiculous conspiracies into the narrative. For most people as soon as they hear a blatant lie they immediately write off anything coming from the source. Most people don’t do their own research so if the messenger tells a couple little white lies with a dramatic flair they can get away with it for a while. The more lies though the higher the chance of them getting called out and losing a portion of their audience as well as making any truth information that can’t be verified sound sketchy.
As I’ve said before J first two interviews do have a lot of verifiable claims, juxtaposed with her life story, and a few blatant lies. One thing I noticed is the majority of her allegations are against artists from her hometown in Philadelphia who were breaking into the industry around the same time as she was and managed to make their way to the top of their respective industries. Sadly neither of J’s two albums were well received and she lost her opportunity because of her combative personality mixed with major narcissism.
After her music career didn’t pan out she moved to Dallas, Texas to try to rebrand. After her son was murdered in 2018, similar to her career, her mental health took appeared to take a nosedive. Before the first interview in 2020, apparently rumors were floating around she was living out of cars and motels. She then met her husband who was ex-military and it seemed like he really built her up and helped her, possibly even writing the stories. In that first interview she accused multiple artists of mistreatment as well as assault. It went semi-viral and a good portion of the accused either provided evidence to contradict her or said the don’t want to go into it, and they seemed to know the situation and feel bad for her. The rapper Common, who she claimed had abused her even said he hopes she’s ok and wished her well. A lot of her fans took this and twisted them into him being guilty because he didn’t go off on a rant trying to claim his innocence and shit on J like they were expecting.
I belief either before or after the first interview got some attention she was contacted and either paid or blackmailed into doing another interview where she was fed information, some truth some lies, and told to mix it in to her life story. I also think her husband may have been one of her handlers. My suspicions stem from the fact that he popped up not long before the first interview and married her after like 3 weeks. I also noticed his way of speaking was also was very similar to J’s and he’d even use similar vocal inflections and speech patterns. They also displayed a lot of similar quirks. Another coincide is he claimed he was responsible for most of the technical support and played a huge part in establishing her online presence. He claimed to have learned everything in a day, and apparently people were shocked at how quickly he learned how to code websites and manage her accounts. A few weeks after getting married she had already made him a fifty/fifty partner for the a new television network she was promoting around the time, but was designed to steal peoples money.
She returned for a second interview in December 2022 and during her second video she mentioned Diddy and dropped a lot of information regarding his current case, his connections to many celebrities, and many specific details about their lives only an insider would have access to. Still there wasn’t much evidence to verify a good portion of her claims until Cassie filed her lawsuit a couple weeks later. I’m almost positive whoever is trying to bring Diddy to justice is connected to whoever is giving her all this info. During the interview J once again eloquently details the dark side of the industry.
Unfortunately her second interview was overshadowed by two separate incidents that both occurred only a few days later and were also caught on her live stream. First she was arrested at a Chicago airport for losing her mind at the security checkpoint. Not much longer after that during an apparent psychotic break, she was filmed in a barbershop parking lot abusing her husband then taking her sons ashes and throwing them her husband and his friends while acting like she was literally possessed. In a later interview she claimed to have Dissociate Identity Disorder from all the trauma and admitted that it was the cause of her psychotic breaks, which totally applies if someone was severely abused at a young age like she has claimed is the case. Eventually she was restrained by the police, strapped down, and tied to a stretcher.
After she got out of a mental hospital a couple days later, her and her soon to ex-husband did a couple separate interviews followed by one where they both discussed to situation together. Before the joint interview their original stories did not line up at all. From their description of events it’s obvious she was cheating and he seems intelligent enough to that, but instead claims the now leader of the Carbon Nation sex cult we’ll call Sol. According to their story he hypnotized her the first time they met and manipulated her into joining her and her husband on their planned weekend roadtrip after meeting in person for the first time. He also forced her into saying she wanted to kill her husband multiple times and letting him touch all over her while they were all in the car together. After that she went on and shared a painfully detailed description of the abuse she suffered as a child all they up until she left the industry. Not much longer after that her husband filed for divorce, further contributing to the spiral.
About three months ago she did another interview that clearly was made by someone else and was loaded with editing mistakes and long gaps without sound that are so muffled you can barely hear them. She also obvious took clips of the interviewer from previous interviews and pasted them together to form new questions and edited them in between her responses. This is also where her claims were all either recycled or included the wildest pizzagate rumors. Then as always she included them in her personal anecdotes so people feel bad for questioning her. The last interview I saw came out less than a week ago and it was even worse than the last and it seems like she’s now just shitposting and seeing how much she can get away with and sadly as expected most people are still eating it up out of the palm of their hand. People who literally worship these influencers like Gods.
Sorry for the giant tangent, but it seems obvious to me that the husband and the two interviewers were all working together. He dressed her up, got her sober and kept her on her meds so she could deliver these interviews. At the same time she was the one who agreed to literally sell her soul and I believe she conscientiously made the decision to scam others. I think everything with Sol was either planned by the three of them or at least the two men who both appeared randomly and were obviously both manipulators. They used their, “divorce,” to really kick things into overdrive and then either both left her there jobs were done. In my humble opinion it’s more likely that they are all mentally ill, desperate for money, and playing roles that were assigned to them for a very specific purpose. I’m almost positive the whole marriage was a sham to help contribute to the narrative that everything in the first two videos was true, until she lost her mind because of the DID, PTSD, and stress.
The last thing I’ll mention before getting back to Bryshere Gray is how I found it interesting that she chose a DID diagnosis. Bipolar used to be a big one, but most people these days know at least one person with it, and it’s easier to tell when people are faking. DID and BPD are the trendy ones now because they aren’t as well understood and easier to fake or play up for the camera. The large numbers of people obviously faking their symptoms, based off the symptoms of some influencer who is also faking. This makes it very difficult to know what’s . It’s also commonly brought up in more radical conspiracy groups as being part of the satanic agenda or brainwash people. I think they were intentionally trying to attract people who would get anything related to the movement send to the deep corners of the internet where those types tend to hide.
This all leads me to the wildest connection of the story. In 2015, when Gray joined Columbia Records, he was signed alongside his future Empire costar Jussie Smollett who ended up playing his older brother. For those who don’t know or remember in 2019, Jussie Smollett was found guilty of staging a hate crime against himself somewhere around the 4th season of he show. The expensive investigation revealed the motivation was political after revealing Michellle Obama’s form chief of staff reached out to Smollett’s lawyer and requested the case be handed over to the FBI. His lawyer then forward the request to Chicago’s Superintendent who approved the request and the case was dropped. After a massive uproar, pitting democrats and republicans against each other, he was resentenced in December 2019 and to this day his legal defense team is still trying to drag out the case so the prosecutor just drops the charges and they don’t have to admit guilt. (If interested the Wikipedia article sums up the whole thing very well.)
Up until his arrest for domestic violence over three years ago where he was caught multiple times lying to the police in his interview, he was found guilty. Seemingly overnight his career tanked and he essentially disappeared and clearly seemed to be dealing with some mental health issues. I find it interesting that after four years of silence he’s just deciding to come out now, and if this case is real in the first place I wonder if anyone is going to draw all these connections.
Aside from Smollett and Gray, the cast list attached to the TV series Empire reveals a lot of connections to a lot of high powered figures with strange connections to this whole conspiracy. A good example of one of these connections is Terrence Howards’s character, a top record label president named Lucious. After skimming the first season’s plot points, some appeared to be directly based on attributes commonly associated with Diddy.
When I looked a little deeper I found that Howard, who also originates from Philadelphia, was cast as the lead actor on the show, while still finding the time to deliver his infamous guest lectures around the world. The main focus of the lectures was discussing the theory he hypothesized which he appropriately named, “Terryology.” This came after being blacklisted from the industry for nearly seven years prior for beating up a crew member and being convicted of multiple domestic violence charges. After the incident with the crew member in 2008, it was revealed Howard had been replaced by Don Cheadle in the sequel to his last hit movie, Iron Man.
Around the same time in 2008, he also signed a record deal with no other than Columbia Records. This came a few years before his infamous on screen sons joined a the same label years later. This can definitely be connected to Howard’s relationship with Gray’s manager Charlie Mack. Some other people who made guest appearances on the show include Naomi Campbell, Cassie, Cuba Gooding Jr, and Mary J. Blige.
The creator of the show Lee Daniel’s, the popular democratic activist whose connections go all the way up to the Obama’s, Oprah, and the Clintons. (Before I go any further, please don’t go down this rabbit hole much further, and to the people who use these type of stories to promote their agendas and spark even more political discord. Now more then ever we need to reel in both the far left and far right and meet as close to the middle as possible or else both candidates are going to continue to be worse every election. Please keep any comments politically neutral. I hate both candidates and I’m simply making connections and could care less who wins the upcoming election.
I think what we’re seeing now regarding Drake, Kendrick, Diddy, and people like Bryshere Gray and J and other influencers and content creators are all be used as weapons to distract people from something major going down and the fact that it’s only getting crazier every day, it appears whatever I’m referring to is yet to come, but won’t be long. Please keep all of this in mind before you start trying to research subjects like these. You may realize that some of the ideologies that have been chastised and tied to violence have been saying these types of things for years, and most of their evidence has been proven already or align with everything we’re seeing.
The paid protestors at Columbia is another example of political theater. Here is where people make the connection to Semetism and where most subscribers theories go off the fucking rails. Just because a lot of these things can be tied to Israel and Jewish Americans, a lot of people like to blame them for all the worlds problems, what they don’t realize is most of this stems from cultural traditions and generational wealth that was gained through hard work and promotion of high education. This has resulted in the majority of Jewish Americans holding more wealth than the average Christian household and most if this stems purely from jealousy and fucking Hitler. This is why the majority of people who go all in on these types of theories don’t have any further education than a high school diploma.
I know this doesn’t make them all dumb, but even a lot of very intelligent people like Ye and other major public figures got sucked into these communities without realizing they were part of the same agenda they were trying to expose. That’s how you end up with Ye saying he loves Hitler in a public interview and promoting Trump for president and supporting the fucking, “white lives matter,” movement along with the Candace Owen, the republicans answer to AOC. Even people with more formal education and fewer biases can and have been successfully targeted by these communities. It’s been shown time and time again that many of these recruiters who have been in their respective communities since their inception usually end up end reaching the same conclusions and the more people there are to confirm your beliefs or suspicions, the more likely it is you’ll accept everything else in they say as true. (This is a very similar conclusion the one I reached in my essay about J).
My belief is someone from the same circle that J was in during her singing career are the same people who reached out to Katt Williams and other blacklisted artists with long recorded histories of mental illness and substance abuse problems to lie by omission and allowing them to release preselected pieces of evidence without repercussions. They could easily know what information the Feds were able to acquire. They then had her leak those details to the public so when the details to come out it makes she can work with the Feds and dismiss any other allegations even if they are true. Obviously it won’t determine the outcome, but it can definitely go a long way in making sure certain details of the defendant choosing can be struck from the record if the evidence isn’t good enough.
At this point I’m a 99 percent sure Diddy is the one pulling the strings behind the Kendrick and Drake beef. I believe that Al B. Sure! was planing to release all the info he had on Diddy in 2022, but may have been poisoned beforehand similar to theories about Diddys’s ex wife Kim Porter who was originally married to Kim before Diddy stole her away along with Al’s son, also Diddy’s stepson Quincy. Diddy has also been directly tied to the murders or mysterious deaths of at least a half a dozen more people who were close associates from the beginning of his career and were key players in the formation of Bad Boy. Coincidentally many of the victims had either exposed or were threatening to expose evidence related to all of these crimes. They are also using Keefe D. to take the charge for 2Pacs murder so he can spin the story and leave out and ties to Diddy who ordered the hit or did it himself.
Unfortunately for Diddy, unlike the rest of the people he had successfully silenced in the past, his dirt ended up coming out right around when Al ended up coming out of his coma and I think it’s likely that if my theory is correct he released all the info he had on Diddy. He even may have hinted in an interview at him being responsible for him falling into a coma. After he came out of the coma Diddy knew he was about to go down and before the raid he destroyed and staged all of his homes with evidence that would verify all the claims related to other celebrities over the age of 18. Meanwhile he got rid of all the videos involving murder, sa, child abuse, bestiality and other evidence that would bring major charges.
This is so he can cooperate with the Feds and help reduce his sentence. If he hid all the evidence they would know and work overtime to find it. Instead he lied by omission and corroborated the accusations that won’t completely destroy him. He can then release all his dirt to seem like he made all the blackmail with the intention of bringing down known predators who were able to get away with the same things he’s guilty of.
In the video of Diddy in the wig, he talks about partying with Drake and The Weekend and I believe he was able to acquire the blackmail. He then released the blackmail to selected people to ensure they leak at the appropriate time. The plan is to publicly out Drake for sex crimes so the rest of Hollywood knows not to testify against him. During the auction mentioned by ebony prince they are going to auction off all the dirt Diddy has collected the last 30 years. This includes dirt on Trump, which may be the reason behind all of this. The auction is four days after Election Day and will be used as a fail safe in case Trump wins the election.
When people who already have even the slightest political biases and less formal education, it can be very difficult to look at these things and not choose a side. This is their agenda to promote centrism and split the left and right even further to promote chaos and anarchy. I advise anyone who identifies as democrat or republican to be extremely cautious when exploring these topics and watch out for the type of things I mentioned. If the information is specifically pointed towards whichever party you identify with, they are trying to suck you in and fill your head with their beliefs.
*Update 2- I’ve never seen this amount of negative responses on any of the bullshit reposts and memes. Clearly people don’t want to actually think for themselves and are just trying to shut down any theory that contradicts their own. Y’all need to stop trying to disprove shit that actually promotes alternative ideas. This is exactly why this community was created. You don’t have to agree with everything, but if you see anything of interest you can do some more research if you’re interested if not just move on and mind your business. Either read it if you’re interested and do your own research or move along and mind your own business.

Research Article: The Impact of Orochi Main Gameplay on Mental Health

Abstract

This study, conducted by Dr. G. Smith, investigates the potential correlation between playing Orochi in a popular online game and the likelihood of mental disability. The research aims to provide insights into how specific gaming behaviors might influence mental health. The study found that individuals who main Orochi have an 87% increased likelihood of developing mental disabilities compared to non-Orochi players.

Introduction

Video gaming is a widely popular activity with varying impacts on mental health. While some studies have shown positive cognitive benefits, others have raised concerns about potential adverse effects. This study focuses on players who main Orochi, a character in the game "For Honor," to assess the association between this specific gameplay and mental health outcomes.

Methods

Participants

A total of 1,000 participants were recruited for the study through gaming forums, social media platforms, and online gaming communities. The participants were divided into two groups: - Orochi Mains (n=500): Individuals who exclusively or predominantly play as Orochi. - Non-Orochi Players (n=500): Individuals who play other characters or diversify their gameplay.

Inclusion Criteria

• Participants must have at least 200 hours of gameplay.
• Ages between 18 and 45 years.
• No prior diagnosis of mental disability before the onset of playing "For Honor."

Exclusion Criteria

• Participants with a history of mental disability prior to playing the game.
• Participants who play multiple characters equally.

Data Collection

Data were collected using a combination of self-reported surveys and psychological assessments. The survey included questions on gaming habits, frequency, duration, and character preference. Psychological assessments were conducted using standardized tools, including: - The General Health Questionnaire (GHQ-28) - The Beck Depression Inventory (BDI) - The Spielberger State-Trait Anxiety Inventory (STAI)

Procedure

1. Recruitment: Participants were recruited online and provided informed consent.
2. Survey and Assessment: Participants completed the initial survey and psychological assessments.
3. Follow-up: Assessments were repeated after six months to monitor changes in mental health status.

Statistical Analysis

Data were analyzed using SPSS software. Logistic regression was used to determine the likelihood of developing mental disabilities in Orochi mains compared to non-Orochi players. Odds ratios (OR) and 95% confidence intervals (CI) were calculated. A p-value of <0.05 was considered statistically significant.

Results

The logistic regression analysis revealed that Orochi mains have a significantly higher likelihood of developing mental disabilities (OR: 1.87; 95% CI: 1.50-2.34, p < 0.001) compared to non-Orochi players. The primary mental health issues identified were increased levels of anxiety and depression.

Discussion

The findings suggest a strong correlation between maining Orochi and an increased likelihood of mental disabilities. Several factors may contribute to this correlation: - The competitive and stressful nature of playing Orochi. - Potential social isolation due to intense gaming habits. - In-game experiences and interactions that could negatively impact mental health.
Further research is needed to explore the underlying mechanisms and to establish causation. It is also important to consider other confounding factors such as personality traits and pre-existing conditions.

Conclusion

This study highlights a significant association between playing as Orochi in "For Honor" and an increased likelihood of mental disabilities. These findings underscore the need for awareness and preventive measures in the gaming community to mitigate potential mental health risks.

References

• Beck, A. T., Steer, R. A., & Brown, G. K. (1996). Beck Depression Inventory-II. Psychological Corporation.
• Goldberg, D. P., & Hillier, V. F. (1979). A scaled version of the General Health Questionnaire. Psychological Medicine, 9(1), 139-145.
• Spielberger, C. D. (1983). State-Trait Anxiety Inventory for Adults. Consulting Psychologists Press, Inc.

today at work i messed up. for some background, out of need for money i took my brothers old insurance sales job about a month ago(ironic given i got my autism diagnosis this year). i think i’ve been doing pretty good ive made 3 completed sales so far and have 3 more lined up. i really enjoy most parts of the job and think i enjoy doing service work more than sales so far. today, my coworker who has been training me wasnt in the best mood because he had little sleep. throughout the day when i had questions and issues with stuff i could feel his annoyance having to walk over to my desk when he let out long sighs. i couldn’t really tell what he was thinking at all, but i felt burdensome. towards the end of my day, a customer came in and on the spot i was giving her a quote. i was already on a live chat dealing with another customers issue. i felt awkward because i was doing two things at once and wanted to explain to her that my attention was divided because of what i was doing. but what i said to her was a bit too literal, i told her that i was trying to figure out why my customer had an increase in premium— i know that was a mistake looking back but i was having a hard time juggling so many things at once. as soon as that left my mouth, my coworker messaged me on my computer saying “why would you tell her that”. the rest of the quote until the lady left the office i was just trying to act like a normal person while i had hot waves of shame and embarrassment cloud my entire existence. it was so hard. i left work early, as soon as the woman left, because i didn’t want to have a meltdown at work. i’ve been crying almost all evening about it. i wanted to reach out to other autistic people to ask if they have debilitating embarrassment when they make mistakes. rationally, i know that when i’m training for a job ill have to have an awkward phase where i make mistakes and all, but the way i had an immediate consequence and reminder that i was being perceived and judged in real time pushed me over the edge.
idk how im even gonna go into work and feel okay tomorrow, this is keeping me from falling asleep even.

• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
I’m a 19 yo female. I’m an architecture student, married. I usually enjoy nature and my biggest aspiration is to move to a quiet country away from the cities. I enjoy drawing and listening to music as well as playing instruments. I’m an introvert with a lot of anxiety. I’m a pretty quiet person and it takes me time to open myself to others, specially strangers.
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
I’ve been diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
As I child I was forced into religion but as soon as I could I got away from it. I grew up witnessing domestic violence and alcohol abuse so now I despise alcohol and try to avoid as much trouble as possible.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
I’m currently studying architecture, a kind of difficult career when I lack motivation or creativity. I would say I like the career in general but at times it becomes a burden. I am very into design so that’s why architecture was one of my options but originally I wanted to study animation or industrial design, I still enjoy my major though.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
I’m a very independent person, most of my life I’ve been alone and I enjoy being alone. So I’d say it would feel refreshing. Except I would miss my husband.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I enjoy indoor activities as much as outside activities. As said before, I enjoy playing instruments and painting. I used to love basketball but with time I don’t do it anymore. I enjoy peaceful walks and something that involves nature.
• How curious are you? Do you have mor e ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
I used to be very curious about topics I would see in the internet or at school. I love to research stuff that I find interesting which most has to do with space and humans themselves, but lately I haven’t had the time or motivation to do it. I wouldn’t say I execute a lot of ideas, the ones I have usually have to do with art, nothing environmental.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
I like being the leader of a work group since I’m very good at organizing and gathering information, I also enjoy planning presentations and such. However, I don’t like being the center of attention so I don’t try to be the leader now. I think I would be good in a leadership role since I can build a working structure in the team, and since I like independence, I would just divide the work and put it all together once everyone’s finished.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
I would say I am pretty coordinated, I’ve been doing actives such as playing instruments that require coordination, building 3D models, and played sports throughout my life.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
I like painting with different materials and most of my art focuses on humans. My art is not very colorful, it is more dark and quiet. I also enjoy making music.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
The past doesn’t matter anymore since it’s something we can’t change. I don’t worry about the future because it would bring stress to think about all the possibilities which might not even occur. It is good to focus on the present and better ourselves while we have the opportunity to do so.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
It really depends on the person and the activity. I try to offer my help most of the time because I like to help, but if I’m busy or tired I would think twice. However, sometimes my social anxiety doesn’t let me help no matter how hard I want to do it, I just can’t move or talk.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
Yes.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
Very important, I think that’s one of the best ways to accomplish things.
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
I do when I know more than the person and if they ask for help, I would just tell them what they do to accomplish the activity.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
Painting, reading, writing, and playing instruments. I like them because they bring me peace and I can enjoy time by myself.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
I learn the most via visual and auditive, I can learn pretty much on every environment except if my phone is near me. Out of all the examples provided, I’d say I like classes involving most of them but memorization. I usually have a hard time remembering things.
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
I improve as I go, I don’t do organization anymore because I figured I am capable of completing the task without wasting time on creating an outline.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
I just want to get my degree and move to a different country to leave in peace and have a modest life with my husband.
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I’m scared of economy and safety. Nowadays it is difficult to find a good job that will provide for basic necessities, and crime is everywhere, each day more pronounced. I hate alcohol, dishonesty, and disrespect; I hate those things because I grew up witnessing what they can do to a family and an individual, very disgusting things.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
Happiness, lots of money, a forever with my husband.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
Homelessness, or being a victim of a serial killer.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
I daydream a lot, but I’d say I stay alert to my surroundings. Sometimes, I lose myself in my mind.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
I think about how the heck I ended up there and how to get out.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
Usually hours, I’ve regretted my decision a couple times but I don’t lose my head over it.
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
I feel very strong emotions and they are important to me, but not more than logic is, I take a couple minutes, maybe hours to process my emotions.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
Nope. There could be a great conversation if we disagree on something. I don’t like to fake, or be dishonest.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
I mean rules are there for a reason, but if that reason is dumb, I won’t hesitate to break them.

—— Feedback from a 90S Buddhist practitioner who shared her experiences with tears at the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door Website.
Gratitude to Namo Sakyamuni Buddha!
Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Gratitude to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas from ten directions and three periods of time!
Gratitude to the Dharma protectors!
Gratitude to the benefactor and benevolent father Master Jun Hong Lu!
Gratitude to my fellow Dharma practitioners!
I am very happy to share with you my path to learning Buddhism in a healthy state. I am a post-90s person, and I am also a devout Buddhist. Previously, I just believed in Buddhism, burned incense and worshiped the Buddha, but I did not know I should recite Buddhist scriptures. In my consciousness, reciting Buddhist scriptures is the business of a monk or nun. It was later when I became acquainted with Buddhism formally that I realized that monks, nuns, laymen monks, and laymen nuns can all recite Buddhist scriptures if they are willing to do so.
I came into contact with Buddhism in the summer of 2018, the year I gave birth to 2 children in a row. My physical state was particularly poor. I suffer from insomnia almost every night. I often got to bed around 10:00 p.m. and woke up around 1:00 a.m., and I was then unable to sleep. During the day, I had to take care of the children and do housework. I often felt physically exhausted.
One night, I remembered that my cousin transcribed Buddhist scriptures. I thought that it would be better for me to do so at home so that I would not be wasting sleepless hours. By transcribing Buddhist scriptures I could cultivate my mind and improve my handwriting. Then, I searched the Internet. They said that transcribing Buddhist scriptures disrespects the Bodhisattva, so I gave up this idea. Then I thought of reciting Buddhist scriptures. The several Buddhist scriptures I found online were not suitable for me.
It might be my affinity with Buddha is ripe, or it is the Bodhisattva's compassion for me. Not long after I saw an article online that said reciting Buddhist scriptures could change one's destiny. I just casually left a comment below:“Can reciting Buddhist scriptures really change destiny?”Back and forth in this way, I added that Buddhist practitioner to my friend list.
What impressed me the most was that practicing Buddhism and reciting Buddhist scriptures are free of charge, and there will be no fees. On the Internet, she shared with me a lot of Buddhist scripture information. Later, she mailed me the Dharma Gems. After receiving the Dharma Gems, I began reciting the Buddhist scriptures, and I kept doing so until my children started school. I became very busy after school started. I did not want to recite Buddhist scriptures anymore. I recited a few Little Houses but did not repay my karmic creditors. Perhaps that is why my karma was activated early.
In the winter, I found that I had a high frequency of headaches, and also suffered left migraines. The left side of the body was soft and numb, especially the left toes and the hand. I wondered if it was the same as my mother's disease. Until December, when my mother again went to the provincial capital hospital due to health problems, did I realize this was a genetic condition. Further, the probability of female inheritance is very high. Then, I searched the Internet for primary multiple sclerosis (MS) symptoms and compared them to my own physical condition. I broke down. I was 26 years old at the time, just entering the age of predestined 369 calamity.
I had just been married for 2 years. I didn't dare tell my husband because I was afraid the family would be broken up. Since I had 2 daughters, I was afraid they would inherit the disease. I didn't dare tell my parents either, for fear of causing psychological pressure on my mom. I bear it alone. My spirit was in a state of collapse every day.
One day, I suddenly remembered a cancer case that was cured by practicing Buddhism, which was shared in a WeChat moment. Why not MS? Again, I contacted the Buddhist practitioner who transformed me. I cried and told her what had happened to me. I asked her if reciting Buddhist scriptures could really heal me. I remembered that she replied to me very firmly, saying it would definitely cure me. That's how I returned to the path of reciting Buddhist scriptures. This time I was with hope and determination in practicing Buddhism. MS can't be cured medically, only managed. I have no way out. I want to change my destiny through Dharma.
Since then, I have frantically read the shared presentations and referred to those practitioners’cases. I want to see how to do merits and virtues by making vows and releasing lives. Once, I made a vow to the sky to release fish worth 1,000 CNY and recited a number of Little Houses. Right at that moment, the left side of my body became much lighter and less numb. I thought it was amazing. It gave me a little more confidence in reciting Buddhist scriptures. When I saw people sharing that vegetarian is good, I made a vow to be vegetarian 2 days a month, then 10 days a month, and then a full-time vegetarian.
My physical conditions were not always as good as I wanted them to be, sometimes good and sometimes bad. I often dream of the dead. Once I dreamed that I had caused a car full of people to fall into the river and die. When I woke up, I hurriedly made a vow to ascend them using the Little House. Master Lu enlightened us that everyone comes into this world with karmic obstacles. Only by constantly reciting Buddhist scriptures, performing merits and virtues and repaying debts can these karmic obstacles be dissolved. Therefore, I knew that my karmic obstacle is from my past life, and I either have to repay it with my body or with reciting Buddhist scriptures. I chose the latter, by reciting Buddhist scriptures to repent of my past sins. Thereafter, whenever I dreamed of the deceased, I would make a vow to recite the Little House for them.
I have also deeply repented gossiping behind people's backs, saying too many bad things about them, and doing too many things behind their backs. Due to unknown the cause and effect, I advised people to divorce. I have been obsessed with worldly love and watched too many romance novels and TV dramas, which has led to my blessings loss. I have taken advantage of small gains and committed very petty thefts. I have deeply repented to this now. I am willing to spend the rest of my life cultivating my behavior and mind! I will recite the Buddhist scriptures and recite Little Houses to pay off my karmic debts.
With time, my symptoms improved: from the 24-hour constant numbness in my hands and feet in 2018, to a little bit lighter in 2019, to 2020 when sometimes these symptoms disappeared for a period of time, to 2021 when the symptoms nearly disappeared but the feeling of recurrence still came back at times, and then to 2022 when I had almost forgotten about MS because the softness and numbness in my hands and feet had completely disappeared. It is only now that I dare to stand up bravely and say I am really cured. This is because I have been free of the MS symptoms for >1 year. I am really grateful to the Bodhisattva! Buddhist scriptures have created miracles for me.
Maybe readers will think I have not done diagnosis tests. How can I tell if I have MS? First of all, my physical symptoms are the same as my mom's. Secondly, this disease is divided into hereditary and non-hereditary forms. Unfortunately, my mom's is hereditary, and she has test results for it. Furthermore, I've googled too much information just hoping it's something else and my faulty senses. One article had a message conversation that caused me to fall into the abyss. That person had the same disease and had been diagnosed, and mine was exactly the same. Honestly, I couldn't go to the hospital for a checkup, because I really couldn't face this reality.
Even though I had already practiced Buddhism, any time I thought of having MS it literally broke me down. Sometimes I would wonder why my hands and feet were still numb and weak after reciting Buddhist scriptures for so long and releasing so many lives. Why is it still not healed? This type of thought made me collapse. After collapsing, I decided to continue practicing because of the fact that this disease cannot be cured medically. Reading Buddhist practitioners’ shared presentations is my only motivation. So many rare and intractable diseases were cured, I firmly believe that the Bodhisattva will save me, too. I don't think words can really express my inner world. My heart always experiences breaking down and healing itself over and over again; then breaking down again and healing itself again.
I am grateful to my cousin for accompanying me all the way and listening to me pour out my sufferings. I am also grateful to Buddhist practitioner Liren for always encouraging me and telling me that this is karma and that reciting the scriptures can eliminate karma. It is only by reciting Buddhist scriptures properly and persistently that I have become the person I am now.
I have changed the most in 2022. This year is also the year of the greatest vow power. After I studied Buddhism in Plain Terms, I understood many truths. Before 2022, I used to recite Buddhist scriptures without understanding why. My mind was not cultivated well, and my merits and virtues were leaked. Before 2022, I ate vegetarian food with five pungent spices. In 2022, I made a vow to be a full-time vegetarian without five pungent spices, be one of the hands and eyes of Guan Yin Bodhisattva to widely transform sentient beings, release 100,000 fish, and recite 1,200 Little Houses specifically for my MS.
As my Master taught, the greater the vow, the greater the merits and virtues, and the faster the karmic obstacles are cleared. Today, sitting here and reminiscing, I am fortunate. This is because I met the Dharma before my karmic obstacles fully flared up. As a result, I was able to pass a major calamity in my life.
I hope my sharing will bring hope to more new Buddhist practitioners! Studying Buddhism and reciting Buddhist scriptures is not superstition. It can really help us dissolve all the problems on earth.
My sharing has come to an end. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the truth in the presentation, I'd like to seek forgiveness from Namo Sakyamuni Buddha, the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, and Dharma protectors. I’d appreciate my fellow practitioners' critique and correction!
I, not my fellow practitioners, will be responsible for my own karma!
Presenter: Dharma Practitioner LanLan
Posted: 2023-07-27
Translator: Frank
Published: 2023-08-25
Statement by translator
The story was translated from Chinese into English by meaning, not word by word. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the Chinese version, I pray for forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下：
90后师兄含泪分享：医学无法治愈的多发性硬化症通过学佛念经彻底痊愈
——心灵法门网友反馈
2023-07-27
感恩南无释迦牟尼佛！
感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨摩诃萨！
感恩十方三世一切诸佛菩萨！
感恩龙天护法菩萨！
感恩恩师慈父！
感恩师兄们！
很高兴能在身体健康的状态下和大家分享我的学佛之路。我是一名90后，我也是一名虔诚的佛教徒，只不过，我只是信佛，会烧香，会拜佛，却不会读经。在我的意识中，念经是出家师父的事。后面接触佛法才明白，只要愿意，在家出家都可以念经。
我是在2018年暑假的时候接触佛法，那年我是连着生完两个孩子，身体状态特别差，几乎每晚都失眠，经常10点左右睡，1点左右醒，然后就开始失眠。白天又要带孩子做家务，整个人经常觉得体力不支。
有次晚上无意想起表妹会抄经，我想着自己在家没事这样失眠浪费时间还不如也抄经，既可以修心也可以练练字。然后就上网搜索，网上说抄经对菩萨不尊敬，然后又打消了这个念头，又想着读经，结果网上搜索了几种经文，都觉得不适合自己。
也许是佛缘成熟，也许是菩萨慈悲我，没多久我在网上看见一篇文章说念经可以改变命运，我就随缘在下面留言说：念经，真的可以改变命运吗？这样一来二往，我加上了那位师兄。
印象最深的是，学佛念经都是免费的，不会有任何费用。在网上她给我分享了好多经文资料，后面也给我邮寄了法宝，我收到后就开始念经，坚持到孩子开学，孩子开学后每天很忙碌，就不想读经了，经文组合小房子读了几张，也没有烧送，就这样一直放着。也许是这个原因提前激活了业障。
到了冬季，我发现我头痛的频率高了，而且有些奇怪的还出现左偏头痛，还有身体左边有些发软、发麻，特别是左边的脚指头和左边的手，当时也有怀疑是不是和我妈妈的病一样，但也只是怀疑，不敢过多地想。直到12月，我妈又因为身体原因需要去省城住院，结果这次住院的经历让我发现，我妈这个病是遗传病，遗传女性的概率很大，然后我在网上搜索多发性硬化症的初级症状，再对照自己的身体状况。整个人都开始崩溃了，那年我是26周岁，正逢“三六九”关劫。
那会我也刚结婚两年，我不敢告诉我先生，我怕这个家会散，而且我生的是两个女儿，我也怕她们会遗传。我也不敢告诉爸妈，我怕给我妈造成心理压力。就这样一个人扛着，精神每天处于崩溃的状态。
回到家后，我就突然想起师兄朋友圈分享的癌症都能好，我又联系度我的师兄，哭着和她说了我的事，问她我念经真的能好吗，记得她非常坚定地回复我说一定能好。就这样，我又开始了念经的道路，只不过这次带着希望在读，更加坚定了一些，因为这个病在医学上无法解决，只有控制，我没有任何办法，想通过佛法来改变命运。
此后，我疯狂地看分享，参考大家的灵验分享，看大家如何许愿放生做功德。有次我对着天空许愿放生1000元的鱼，念诵多少张经文组合小房子。当时这个左边的身体发软发麻的状态就轻了许多，我当时觉得好神奇，也给我增加了一点念经的信心。此后，我看大家分享吃素好，我就许愿一个月两次，再一个月10天，再后面吃全素。
我许愿吃全素这个过程很短，因为我想早点让自己好。可事情总是不尽人意，时好时坏。在念经这段道路上，我也经常梦见亡人，有一次还梦见自己把一车的人弄得掉进河里死了，醒来后赶紧地许愿给他们读诵经文组合小房子。师父说过，每个人都是带着业障来到这个世界，只有通过不断地念经做功德还债才能化解这些业障。所以，我知道这是我前世的业障，要么用身体还，要么用经文还。我选择后者，用经文去忏悔我的过往。所以此后，只要梦见亡人，我都会许愿读经文组合小房子。
我也深深忏悔，我曾经背后乱嚼舌头，说了太多人家的坏话，做了太多背后阴人的事；曾经不明因果，劝人离婚；曾经迷恋世间的情爱，看了太多的爱情小说和电视剧，导致福报尽损；曾经爱占小便宜，做了很小偷小摸的事；我现在都深深地忏悔，愿意用我的余生好好地修心修行，好好地学佛念经念经文组合小房子还债。
经过我不断地读经消业，我的症状也有所改善，从2018年的24小时手脚持续发麻，到2019年的症状轻了一点，再到2020年有时这些症状会消失一段时间，再到2021年，症状可以说消失，但有时还是会复发的感觉，再到2022年，我几乎把这个病给忘记了，因为手脚那些发麻发软的感觉都消失了。直到现在，我才敢勇敢站出来说，我真的好了，因为我已经有一年多没有这些症状了。真的感恩菩萨！经文的灵验在我这里创造了奇迹。
也许大家会觉得我没有做任何检查，如何判定自己就是这个病呢？首先，是身体的症状和我妈妈的一样；其次，这个病分遗传和不遗传，很不巧，我妈的是遗传，这个是有检测报告的；再者，我上网搜了太多的资料，就希望是其他原因，是我的错感。尤其有一篇文章的留言对话，让我跌入深渊，对方也是这个病，已经确诊，而我的是一模一样，说实话，我真的没法去医院检查，我真的没法面对这个现实。
虽然我已经念经了，但一想到这个问题我真的每次都是崩溃。就这样我抱着念经的信念，坚持了一年，有一点点地改变，有时候也会怀疑，我已经读了这么久的经，我放生这么多了，为啥还是手脚发麻发软？为什么还是不见好转？崩溃之后依旧是继续，因为这个病真的医学上没法解决，看着师兄们的分享，是我唯一的动力。那么多的疑难杂症都能好，我坚信菩萨会救我的。我觉得文字真的无法来表达我的内心世界。内心总是反反复复地崩溃，自愈；再崩溃，再自愈。
这一路感谢我的表姐，一路的陪伴我，听着我倾诉苦水；也感谢丽人师兄，一直鼓励我，告诉我，这个就是业障，读经就能消业障，好好读，坚持读，才成就的现在的我。我在2022年变化最大，这年也是愿力最大，我学习《白话佛法》，明白了很多的道理，以前就是一味地读经，根本不明白，心没修好，功德有漏。我之前吃素都是吃带五辛的，2022年我许愿全素，许了做菩萨的千手千眼广度有缘人，许了余生放生10万条鱼，还针对这个病许愿1200张经文组合小房子，已经烧送了一部分。就像师父说的，愿力越大，功德越大，业障也消得快些。所以今天坐在这里回忆过往，我是幸运的，在业障还没全面爆发，我遇见佛法，让我化解了人生的一道大坎。也希望我的分享能给更多的新人带来希望的光！学佛念经不是迷信，是真的可以帮助我们化解人间所有问题。
我的分享结束了，分享中如有不如理不如法的地方，请南无释迦牟尼佛慈悲原谅，请南无大慈大悲观世音菩萨慈悲原谅，请十方三世一切诸佛菩萨和龙天护法菩萨慈悲原谅，请师兄们批评指正。我自己的业障自己背，不让师兄们背。
分享人：蓝蓝师兄
来自：师父博客
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Disclaimer of Liability:
The contents of the presentation and answers, including text, images, and other information obtained from Dharma practitioners, are provided strictly for reference purposes. Due to the unique nature of individual karma, results similar to those experienced by the authors may not be replicated. The experiences and advice shared should not be construed as medical advice or a diagnosis.
In the event of an emergency, it is crucial to promptly contact your doctor or emergency services by dialing 911. Relying on any information found in the answers is done solely at your own risk. The translator and answerer bear no responsibility for the consequences. By using or misusing the contents, you accept liability for any personal injury, including death. It is imperative to exercise caution and seek professional medical guidance for health-related concerns.

Hybrid Warfare: The Art of Conquest under the Umbrella of Peace

{The art of hybrid wor} Cap 1

Note: This story is a work of fiction and does not aim to promote or glorify violence or harmful actions.
Introduction
The contemporary world is witnessing an era of unconventional conflicts, where the boundaries between peace and war are blurred. Hybrid warfare, a insidious strategy that combines elements of traditional warfare, covert operations, cyber attacks, and propaganda, has become an increasingly prevalent weapon in the arsenal of major powers.
Inspired by the tactics of the NKVD, KGB, and SVR, this book reveals the subtle art of conquering a country without triggering open conflict. The reader will be guided through the labyrinth of strategies for identifying and compromising key individuals, exploiting their vulnerabilities and secrets to gain control over a nation.
Primary Target: Influence
The first crucial step is to identify the most influential person in the target country. Once the target is identified, a meticulous operation follows to uncover their weaknesses, secrets, and loved ones. Children, as symbols of the future and legacy, become priority targets. Neutralizing them, either through direct control or by sabotaging their chances of procreation, represents a crucial strategic blow.
Secret Weapon: Control
The life partner of the target becomes a central figure. Controlling or dividing them through unconventional methods serves to weaken the target's influence and facilitate their manipulation. There are no rules in this hybrid warfare, and any means are permitted to achieve the ultimate goal: conquest.
Infiltration: Eyes and Ears Everywhere
Well-infiltrated intelligence services, similar to Nicolae Ceaușescu's "Securitate", become essential for the constant surveillance of the target and their entourage. Controlling the doctor, the entourage, and anyone who could influence the target is crucial to maintaining absolute control.
"Coughing from the throat."
A Shocking Example: The Doctor and the Child
To illustrate the cruelty and lack of scruples of this type of warfare, let's analyze in detail a particular scenario: the control of the target's child's doctor. Imagine a situation where the child, the symbol of hope and the family's future, falls seriously ill. The doctor, under enemy control, is instructed to conceal the truth about the child's condition, providing a false diagnosis and ineffective treatment. This perfidious action not only endangers the child's life but also destroys the target's trust in those around them, making them vulnerable to manipulation.
Conclusion
Hybrid warfare, with its hidden tactics and ruthless manipulation, poses a real threat to the sovereignty of nations. This book offers a fascinating yet disturbing insight into this type of conflict, revealing the brutal strategies that can be used to conquer a country without triggering open war. An essential read for those who wish to understand the complexity of the modern world and the hidden dangers that can threaten global peace and stability.
The example of the doctor and the child serves as a reminder of the cruelty and lack of boundaries of those who wage hybrid warfare. It is a shocking yet necessary story that compels us to confront the dark reality of this type of conflict.
Another Shocking Example: The Orchestrated Accident
To demonstrate the insidious versatility of hybrid warfare, let's analyze another terrifying scenario: manipulating the doctor treating the target after a serious accident.
Imagine a tragic situation: the target, a symbol of power and influence, is the victim of a violent accident. Rushed to the hospital, severely injured and vulnerable, their fate rests in the hands of the attending physician.
But what if this doctor isn't a dedicated savior, but a pawn infiltrated in the enemy's operation? Under the adversary's control, the doctor receives sinister instructions: to administer medications that, under the guise of proper treatment, will actually trigger a rise in the target's blood pressure, further exacerbating their condition and jeopardizing their life.
This diabolical act not only endangers the target's life, but also serves as a strategic blow. Weakening the target physically and mentally makes them vulnerable to manipulation and isolates them from loved ones who might intervene to protect them.
In the event the target survives, the orchestrated accident could be presented as a mere medical error, a regrettable negligence, not a premeditated crime. The lack of concrete evidence and the controlled doctor's influence would facilitate the concealment of the truth and maintain control over the target.
This example chillingly demonstrates how hybrid warfare exploits human tragedy to achieve political objectives. The manipulation of the medical profession, a symbol of trust and compassion, represents a pinnacle of perfidy, showcasing the utter lack of scruples of those who wage such war.
The story of the orchestrated accident serves as a shocking reminder of the hidden cruelty of hybrid warfare and how it can infiltrate and corrupt even the most noble institutions. It's a dark reality we cannot ignore, forcing us to remain vigilant and fight to defend humanity's fundamental values.

TL;DR: After 3 miscarriages and a diagnosis of DOR, I had two healthy pregnancies without IVF or other ART.
We started TTC when I was 35.5, my partner 37. We got pregnant quickly, and quickly had 3 miscarriages, all around 8 or 9 weeks. We never had them tested, but my OB suspected genetic abnormalities.
My partner's test results were normal for a man his age. After the 2nd miscarriage, I had bloodwork and an SHG, a procedure where my OB filled my uterus with saline and looked at it on an ultrasound to see whether I had any visible issues that could explain what was wrong. This procedure was timed to a specific day in my menstrual cycle, so that while we were at it, she could look at my ovaries on the ultrasound as well, to make a prediction about how many eggs she could expect to retrieve if we decided to try IVF.
The SHG turned out normal. My uterus was perfectly fine. My ovaries, however, looked like those of a woman nearing menopause. My antral follicle count (AFC) was only 4. If we did IVF now, the doctor said, that’s how many eggs she expected to harvest -- just 4. Not nearly enough for a promising cycle. The results from the blood test also corresponded to the levels of a menopausal woman. Here are the numbers, for those of you who already know what these mean:
Day 3 AMH: 0.311
Estradiol: 23.8
FSH: 13.8
I might have looked 30 on the outside, but I’d just turned 36, and on the inside I was closer to 50. Our doctor did not recommend that we move forward with IVF. We asked her what we could do instead. She suggested I try supplementing with DHEA, and gave us the recommended dosage (25 mg 3 times/day, for a total of 75 mg daily). She also recommended CoQ10, though she didn’t have a suggested dosage for that, and noted that my vitamin D levels were low. I started supplementing with each of those three things.
I noticed the effects of the DHEA very quickly. It’s an androgen, and can cause women to start sprouting extra body hair. My libido sprang up to teenager levels, and I got acne again.
I decided to take only 200 mg/day of the CoQ10 because it was expensive. That and the vitamin D seemed to give me more energy, maybe, but I couldn’t say for sure.
It took us longer to get pregnant the 3rd time. The miscarriage was the same.
Our OB explained again why she didn't recommend IVF for women with DOR, and told us about a patient of hers who’d had 9 miscarriages before having a successful pregnancy. We were lucky we were able to get pregnant so easily, she said. We were lucky that we didn’t have any other issues compounding the DOR.
If we wanted to explore other options, she told us, our best chance was to use an egg donor. Other than that, all we could do was keep trying. During my fertile window, and given our age, she recommended intercourse every 48 hours.
I doubled down on my research. I read everything I could find online, and read a lot of posts on message boards like the one I’m writing now. Here’s what I decided to do:

1. Lots of exercise, or at least “lots” by my desk-worker standards (brisk walks every day, gentle training with 10-to-20-pound weights a few times a week, and frequent bike rides)
2. Lots of time being happy and relaxed and out in the sun
3. Supplements:
   1. DHEA, 75 mg/day divided in 3 doses
   2. CoQ10, 800 mg/day (ubiquinone, the cheaper kind)
   3. Vitamin D3, 2,000 IU/day
   4. Acetyl L-carnitine, or Alcar, 250 mg/day (the typical dose is 500 mg, but I found this amount gave me nightmares; at 250 mg I felt more energetic, like I could do twice as much exercising as I normally did)
   5. Alpha lipoic acid, 300 mg/day (this makes your urine stink, but it’s inexpensive and safe, and in addition to helping with fertility, I also found studies about its benefit to diabetics and its effect on the pancreas)
   6. Black cohosh on cycle days 1 through 12 (it’s an herb, so I have no idea how much I was actually getting)
   7. Vitex (ditto)
   8. Prenatal vitamins
   9. Fish oil (why not)
   10. More soy foods and freshly ground flax seeds in my diet, for extra estrogen

A note about CoQ10: There are two kinds on the market, a cheaper one (ubiquinone) and an expensive one (ubiquinol), which is supposed to be better absorbed. Both are similar in structure to vitamin E, but are not classified as vitamins because your body can make them on its own. I went with a low-ish dosage of the expensive one the first time around, but after the third miscarriage, I switched to a higher dose of the cheaper one, 800 mg. I definitely noticed an increase in energy while I was taking it.
Here is a study on CoQ10 in follicular fluid and its association with better outcomes: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00404-011-2169-2
Here’s another (“Conclusion: Our observation leads to the hypothesis that the oral supplementation of CoQ10 may improve follicular fluid oxidative metabolism and oocyte quality, specially in over 35-year-old women”): https://www.mdpi.com/2076-3921/7/10/141
The positive news about CoQ10 keeps coming. I’ll stop with these: https://rbej.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12958-018-0343-0, https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/acel.12368
From what I learned while researching this stuff, both CoQ10 and acetyl l-carnitine are antioxidants that are thought to be active in the mitochondria. The mitochondria is sometimes called the “battery” of the cell, supplying its energy as it does its job. After an egg leaves the nourishing environment of the ovary for its journey down the fallopian tube, its only source of energy is its own mitochondria. That’s what keeps it fresh and alive. So an antioxidant that might help the mitochondria have more energy might be crucial for keeping egg cells, and the DNA inside them, better organized for longer -- long enough to conceive. This theory would apply to sperm cells as well, and is thought to be why taking these supplements gives people more energy. Young people have a lot of CoQ10 in their bodies, but after age 25 or so, our natural production goes down.
Here’s a study about egg quality and acetyl l-carnitine (ALCAR): https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0378432012002436
There isn’t as much research, especially in humans, on ACLAR as there is on CoQ10, but what’s been done so far looks promising. Here’s a study in mice: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0378432012002436
As for alpha lipoic acid (ALA), my understanding is that this is thought to be beneficial for diabetics because of its effects on the pancreas. The pancreas and the ovaries are similar in the way they age (again, according to things I read while I was researching like crazy). While I’m not overweight, I’ve always had high blood sugar, and have type 2 diabetes on both sides of my family. So I added this to my regimen too.
Research: ALA supplementation is thought to be safe during pregnancy: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/09513590.2018.1462320
A small study has shown ALA to be helpful in patients with PCOS undergoing IVF: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Luisa_Caponecchia/publication/303088959_Effect_of_myo-inositol_and_alpha-lipoic_acid_on_oocyte_quality_in_polycystic_ovary_syndrome_non-obese_women_undergoing_in_vitro_fertilization_a_pilot_study/links/584fb41c08ae4bc8993b3211/Effect-of-myo-inositol-and-alpha-lipoic-acid-on-oocyte-quality-in-polycystic-ovary-syndrome-non-obese-women-undergoing-in-vitro-fertilization-a-pilot-study.pdf
Anyway, if you're still reading, pregnancy number 4 was a success. I quit every supplement except for prenatal vitamins. My doctor at the IVF clinic put me on progesterone until I got through week 10, in case a progesterone deficiency was the cause of my previous miscarriages. She’d never tested for this, so the progesterone was just a precaution. I’d always been plenty nauseated with each of my pregnancies, and the supplemental progesterone only made it worse. All I could eat were dry crackers. After reading a few things about the potential effects of progesterone on an embryo, I don’t think I’d do it again, not unless my doctor had a test result suggesting that it was what I really needed.
My doctor also recommended I start taking baby aspirin, 81 mgs/day, to be continued throughout the pregnancy, in case I had an issue with blood clotting that was causing the miscarriages. She’d never tested me for it, and given my AFC and AMH and FSH levels, it seemed like we already knew what my problem was, but she said it couldn’t hurt, so I went on it and stayed on it until 36 weeks.
Two years later, while I was supplementing with just prenatal vitamins and CoQ10, and without really trying, we got pregnant again. Baby #1 is now five years old, and #2 is three.

Warning this will be a long post, it has everything I've learnt in the past couple of years from hair growth, to styling, to weightloss, to nervous system regulation and more.
I'm in my early 30s, I have 3B hair, tall, two years ago I was obese, prediabetic, I had anxiety problems, now I'm just a tall [seemingly ;) ] effortlessly pretty black girl and I want all my beauties on here to have my beauty secrets.
Topics discussed:

• Haircare
• Style
• Makeup
• Teeth
• Skincare
• Weight loss vs Fat loss
• Healthy Fat loss
• Body Recomposition
• Inflammation
• Gut Health
• How to lower androgen/testosterone levels
• Nervous System Regulation/Stress Management
• Tea Cycling
• Seed Cycling

Hair

I have PCOS so it affects my hair growth and causes hirsutism, basically male patterened facial hair and male patterned baldness.
Hair Growth: Here is the true secret sauce to hair growth, stimulating your scalp. I do daily scalp massages with a bamboo brush (even the bristles are made of rounded bamboo) very gentle. This is the one I use: Golab Beauty I do short strokes which prevents any tangles. Morning and Night. I then go in with a scalp serum, I use The Oui scalp serum but it costs a pretty penny. In the first yearish I used (The 'Ordinary' Haircare Growth Set Multi-Peptide Serum For Hair Density) which worked wonders and was cost effective. At nights I seal with any scalp oil that has rosemary oil. Sadly Mielle's formula no longer works for me, but As I Am rosemary oil has been working, I also like the Camille Rose Rosemary Oil Strengthening Hair and Scalp Drops. For Washing my hair I suffer from sebaceous dermatitis which causes scaliness. Paradoxically my scalp is so oily which is what triggers the ezcema and develops the dry patches. Reversing my PCOS symptoms fixed this but what also helped was the Nizoral shampoo with 1% Ketoconazole. It's harsh so I do it once to twice a month at most and I always follow up with a moisturizing shampoo, and of course finish with a wash out conditioner & leave in conditioner.
Hair Retention: This is the info we all know about preventing breakage but I'll include just in case. Hair growth happens in the scalp like said before but to retain that growth it's important to wear protective hairstyles (especially while asleep), a silk/satin bonnet or wrap, silk/satin pillowcase, do not let your hair air dry at night. There is debate about this but I've seen hair specialists and scientists say our hair is especially fragile when wet (especially curly/kinky hair). Therefore, we are much more prone to snags and breakage while our hair is wet. So going to bed make sure your hair is dried. If you're air drying your hair during the day try not to touch it too much - as little manipulation as possible. Personally choose to diffuse/blow dry my hair and this has prevented most of the breakage I was previously experiencing. Lastly, moisturize and oil your ends. I won't pretend like I know which order is best or even if it's important but I've found that using hair moisturizediluted leave in conditioner then hair oil works best for me.
Hirsutism/Facial Hair: Spearmint essential oil. I add 1-2 drops of the oil to my moisturizer each time I put on my moisturizer and it helped A LOT with reducing my facial hair. I also drink a lot of spearmint tea. Spearmint specifically has been proven to lower androgen/testosterone levels which is why it helps. I also took supplements which I'll include at the end because they served multiple purposes. Be sure not to add the oil to the entire bottle because that will ruin your moisturizer's formula. Just add the drops in your palm/finger tips and mix in your face cream each time you moisturize your jawline, chin, underneck. Also, do this after moisturizing the upper part of your face without the oil because it's harsh and the scent can be irritating to your eye area.
Body hair: Personally I sugar wax my arms and legs, the hair has grown back so thin now. I make it myself and follow tutorials from abetweene on youtube.
Hair colouHairstyle: This will depend on your face shape and color season. I'm a dark winter colour season and I have a heart face shape. I used the Dressika app to discover my color season before I could afford to get myself professionally assessed and I got the same results. Just be sure to use natural lighting, like by a window. Once you have your colour season you can choose hair colours that work best for you (although natural almost always works best). For my hairstyle I try to choose styles that compliment my heart shaped face. I used the youtube channel Dear Peachie to help me with figuring this out.

Style

I think most of us know about Kibbe and colour seasons. This was how I upgraded my wardrobe. I'm a soft dramatic so I wear things that work for my tall height and accentuate my waist.
This was the game changer with colour seasons. Most of us know about our true seasons, but it can get restrictive. Sister seasons and colour dissonance is also helpful to know.
My colour season is dark winter, so my sister seasons would be dark autumn and true winter. Thid gives me more wiggle room to style myself.
Dissonance are colours that are outside your true season and your sister seasons, you sprinke this in to add interest. Think of an outfit that is extremely matchy and cohesive but has that one accessory or item that stands out and adds interest. It's really fun in art and in fashion.
For my shoes I've started wearing dancing heels which help my flat feet lol and look stylish. Heel insoles help too, as well as the product Shoe Gummi. I still can't last more than 2, 3 hours at most but it's definitely bearable compared to before.
Matching pajamas and loungewear. You just feel so luxurious dressing up at home and they can (should) be comfy :)
Accessories:

• I wear glasses that work with my heart shaped face.
• I have a neutral leaning warm undertone so I wear gold jewelry, if I wear pearls or other gem stones I mix in gold to provide more harmony with my skin.
• Perfume, wear what works with your body chemistry. Some smell delictable on people I know and icky on me, and vice versa. Wear what works for you.
• Nails, press ons. So convenient, so cheap.
• Hair accessories, bows, barretes, clips, scrunchies, a ribbon, you could be wearing jeans and a t shirt but a simple hair accessory upgrades the look automatically.

Makeup

I used the youtube channel Dear Peachie to help me with finding eye looks, brows, blush placement for my face shape
I have a low visual weight face and I am a romantic ingenue, because of this I go for more subtle looks that emphasis two facial features maximum at a time (eyes, lips, cheeks).
Don't get me wrong I love glam bold makeup but soft and subtle makes me glow, I turn heads when my makeup is done like this.

Teeth

• Wax free floss (Cocofloss $10 expensive but I love it 😅, Burst black floss, Moon graphite floss, Twice floss, Dr. Jen’s silk floss)
• Oil pulling (coconut oil with clove & tea tree oil, or Guru Nanda oil pulling product)
• Brush teeth
• Tongue scraper (not everyday, couple of times a week and not too hard)
• Alcohol free mouthwash (TheraBreath)
• More so related to my lip area but I try to use wrinkle preventing straws or when I do use regular straws, I place it on the side of my mouth. The reason this works is because puckering the lips excessively causes smokers lines/wrinkles around the mouth.

Skin

Skincare. This was something that took me a while to work on because of my PCOS, age, weight and etc.
Facial Care: The basics includes chemical exfoliation, retinol, moisturizerecover. I cycle my nightly skincare routine with this in mind and always keep the same morning routine. Mornings look like this (Jojoba oil to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, vitamin c/peptide serum, moisturizer with a drop or two of glycerin, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, finish with sunscreen).
My nights I alternate these routines in this order
Night 1 - Chemical Exfoliation (Oil cleanser to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, glycolic/lactic acid, moisturizer with a drop or two of glycerin, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, castor oil on lashes and brows)
Night 2 - Retinol (Oil cleanser to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, retinol, moisturizer, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, castor oil on lashes and brows)
Night 3 - MoisturizeRecovery (Oil cleanser to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, retinol, moisturizer with a drop or two of glycerin, rosehip oil as sealant on entire face, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, castor oil on lashes and brows)
Repeat Night 1 - 3 (sometimes I need more days to recover if my skin is sensitive or acting up, do what works for you personally)
Other things that I've done/used to help: red light therapy (helps with both hair growth, so I use it on my scalp, and with stretch marks so I use it on my face and body), Microcurrent device (helps with collagen production and stretchmarks) - I use the brand NuFace & NuBody, Volufiline (a skin serum I mix with eye cream that helps with hollowness under the eyes, Kigelia Africana Skin Cream (I use the brand Maelys B-Perky which contains this ingredient and helped to tighten my chest area and my loose skin on the area), face yoga and myo fascia face massage, these help with the tautness of my face (basically everything else helps with wrinkles, these exercises and the microcurrent helps and prevents, sagging especially jowls). I follow tutorials I search for from youtube.
Body Care: Similar to facial care body care includes exfoliation, retinol, moisturizerecover
Night 1 - Physical Exfoliation (Dry brush/Body Scrub, Hydrating lotion with a few drops of glycerin, rosehip oil as sealant on entire body)
Night 2 - Retinol (Jojoba oil to help while I use my gua sha, retinol body wash, retinol body lotion)
Night 3 - MoisturizeRecovery (Jojoba oil to help while I use my gua sha, Hydrating lotion with a few drops of glycerin, rosehip oil as sealant on entire body)
Again, repeat Night 1 - 3 use more days for recovery if needed
Stretch marks/loose skin: Whether due to weight gain, pregnancy, etc. we can't ever truly get rid of loose skin or stretch marks but moisturizing the skin and derma rolling can help with the appearance. Especially derma rolling. Do NOT derma roll while pregnant but you can do so after when you’ve recovered and talk to your doctor (if you've had a c section you have to wait before derma rolling). I used this video as motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChG8aSvEU6A
For the body I never went beyond 1.5mm it worked for my deepest stretch marks. If this is too aggressive 1.0mm still works just as well. Make sure you use 70% alcohol as this is what experts say is better at disinfecting. It has more water, which helps it to dissolve more slowly, penetrate cells, and kill bacteria. The disinfecting power of rubbing alcohol drops at concentrations higher than 80%-85%. Make sure you disinfect the derma roller before and after use, and make sure you disinfect your area of contact before rolling as well. Do not do heavy workouts workout or sweat inducing activities for at least 3 days after and avoid harsh products.
I started derma rolling while working on losing weight (at the beginning of my journey while still obese) and continued a year after losing 130lbs. Derma rolling works by causing micro tears, the skin heals the area and in the process of doing so develops more collagen - leading to thicker skin, lighter stretch marks and tighter skin. Since I did this before losing the weight it helped my skin adapt a lot. I won't pretend like I have 0 loose skin or stretch marks but it's barely visible. Someone has to be intimately close to notice. Obviously genetics, how slowly you lose the weight, diet, and moisturizing the skin helps but my PCOS contributed to low collagen (thin skin) and so the derma rolling really helped.

Weight loss vs Fat loss

Tons of info here but I promise if you read through it helps to know this stuff.
Weightloss comes down to calories in versus calories out. I know that's rudely simpliflied and not that easy, but it truly is the answer to weightloss (which may be fat, water, or muscle). This is why people can eat barely nothing, lose weight but their shape stays the same (basically skinny fat). It's also why fasting or going low carb works so fast (water weight is the first to go).
Fatloss on the other hand is more complicated. This involves our TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure).
TDEE includes: Resting/Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR), Metabolic Equivalent of Task or Exercise activity thermogenesis (EAT), Non-exercise activity thermogenesis (NEAT), Thermic Effect of Food (TEF), and Adaptive Thermogenesis (AT).
BMR (~70% daily energy) the energy taken to exist, so tasks like breathing. Your sex, body composition (muscle to fat ratio), age, and genetics play a role in this EAT (~5% daily energy) the energy taken for exercise weight lifting, swimming, high intensity walks, etc. NEAT (~15% daily energy) the energy taken for non exercise movements like walking, fidgeting, showering, standing, etc TEF (~10% daily energy depending on the macronutrients of your meal) the energy taken to digest, protein has the highest TEF of all the macronutrients, Carbs have a TEF of around 5-10%, while Fats have the lowest TEF, around 0-3%.
Adaptive Thermogenesis (AT) is the changes in energy expenditure (energy used) that occur in response to changes in energy balance. For example when you eat more food than you need, your body may increase energy expenditure to prevent weight gain eg. move more, eat less the next day, etc.. On the other hand, when you eat less food than you need, your body may decrease energy expenditure to conserve energy and prevent weight loss eg. less movement, eat more the next day.
Other things that affect AT include diet composition (eg high/low protein, high/low carb, calorie dense foods, etc), physical activity (eg. weights vs. cardio), and environmental factors such as temperature and altitude.
Things that influence AT can make weight management challenging, as it can lead to plateaus or rebounds in weight loss efforts. This is why lack of sleep, hormonal issues, aging, etc. makes weightloss harder.
Here is a clearer example of this
Things that affect calories in:

• 8-9 Hours of sleep (Maintains metabolic homeostasis, insulin sensitivity, hormonal processes). Compromised sleep lead to:
  • Increased Gherlin (hunger hormone - feeling hungrier & therefor eating more)
  • Decreased Leptin (sensation of satiety - needing to eat more to feel full)
• Insulin resistance: This is when the cells in your muscles, fat, and liver don't respond well to insulin and can't easily take up glucose from your blood. This results in excessive sugar in the blood & as a result the body produces more insulin in order to try to help the cells obtain the energy from glucose. This leads to weight gain as the insulin increases hunger. Also, since the body is insulin resistant, the excess glucose is converted to fat for long-term storage.
  • Things that can cause insulin resistance: PCOS, Inactivity/sedentary lifestyle, family history of diabetes, gestational diabetes, hypertension, alcohol abuse, poor sleep habits, high cholesterol levels, metabolic syndrome, cardiovascular disease, high bodyweight, acromegaly

Things that affect calories out:

• Body Composition (Fat to muscle ratio)
• Gut health
• Compromised sleep affects our energy levels which leads to
  • Decreased NEAT (Non exercise activity thermogenesis)
• Hypothyroidism (lowered levels of T3 and T4)
  • Thyroid hormones T3 and T4 affects every cell and all the organs in your body by regulating the rate at which your body uses calories/energy which is known as our bmr, meaning this affects your metabolic rate.
• Too few calories lowers daily NEAT
  • By eating below your BMI (calories needed to perform basic biological processes), your body makes up for this through energy conservation by lowering your NEAT (non exercise activity thermogenesis). Basically you lack the energy to perform your normal daily activities. This also affects your body composition and cardio health as you become sedentary (stop moving as much).

Healthy Fat loss

So to lose fat in a healthy way you need to:

1. Get enough sleep (8-9 hours per night)
2. Manage your stress levels/nervous system regulation
3. Look after your gut health
4. Manage inflammation
5. Increase your daily steps (8-10k per day)
6. Weight lift
7. Eat high protein (protein takes the most amount of energy to digest).
8. Manage your insulin resistence
9. Eat in a caloric deficit (make sure your calories in do not exceed calories out).

Futher information about the bold items in the list is included below. Also, I know this all seems overwhelming but keep in mind you are creating a lifestyle change. This is not a quick fix.
To manage your insulin resistance (info from the book Glucose Goddess by Jessie Inchauspé):

• Eat within an hour of waking up
• Protein with breakfast
• Tablespoon of apple cider vinegar before each meal (diluted in a glass of water)
• Eat foods in this order, veggies -> protein -> fat -> starches -> carbs -> sugar
• Never eat sweets/dessert/carbs on an empty stomach (dessert after dinner)
• Keep refined carbs and added sugar at a minimum.
• Minimize alcohol intake
• Try to minimize sodas, fruit juice and sweet drinks (this is because there is no fiber to help with the glucose spike or at least try to have these drinks after eating something fiberous)
• Only eat fruit whole, not transformed eg. eat the orange instead of having the orange juice, again fiber makes a world of a difference
• Put clothing on your carbs. Eg. have protein/fats/fiber with your carbs
• A short walk after carb heavy meals
• Fasting - this is controversial and I should add a disclaimer, if you in any way shape or form have or had an eating disorder, especially restrictive eating, I highly recommend against fasting. Intermittent fasting has a lot of studies out there that were done on men. The book Fast Like a Girl by Dr. Mindy Pelz includes a nuanced view of fasting that takes into account our hormones and our monthly cycle. She also has a free app 'Fast like a girl', you log your period and it tells you how long to fast. However, bioindividuality is key here, genetics, etc. Please if you are considering fasting make sure you get bloodwork done first. Manage your electrolyte levels, do not neglect iron and protein levels. Personally, I prefer using the other methods since fasting can also inadvertently worsens insulin resistence due to increased stress/cortisol which cause higher hunger cues. Some with insulin resistence found fasting to be helpful. So make sure you do what works for you and always consult your doctor.
• Supplements:
  • Vitamin D paired with Vitamin K1 & K2
  • Magnesium Biglycinate (I take this before bed)
  • Omega-3 Fatty Acids
  • Turmeric
  • Coenzyme 10 (Take with Clomid & Vitamin E)
  • N-Acetylcysteine (NAC)
  • Inositol
  • Zinc (Important to Note: It works inversely with testosterone - raises testosterone if your levels are low and lowers it if your levels are high)

To eat in a caloric deficit, calculate your TDEE and subtract 200-500 calories from that number. I like using this calculator. https://tdeecalculator.net
Eg. If it's calculated to be 2000 calories, you subtract 200, so 1800 should be your daily calorie intake. For the activity levels make sure you do not oversell yourself. Here is a general guide:

• Sedentary: Office job sat all day or less than 3000 steps per day
• Lightly Active: Exercise 1-3 times per week or 3-10k steps daily (up to 3-4 miles daily)
• Moderately Active: Exercise 3-5 times per week or 10-15k steps daily (up to 4-7 miles daily)
• Highly Active: Hard exercise 6-7 training days per week or 15-20k steps daily (up to 7-10 miles daily)
• Extremely Active: Intense daily exercise/hard physical labour 7 days a week or 25k+ steps daily (up to 10 miles daily)

As you lose weight your body adapts so after a while you may need to recalculate your TDEE and deficit. Once you are at your ideal weight, you no longer subtract the 200-500, you simply eat the TDEE amount to maintain but you do this gradually. After I lost the weight I came out of the deficit by adding 50 calories to my daily intake per week, till I was at maintenance/my TDEE. This prevented me from gaining fat or water weight.
Lastly, muscle mass (increase in muscle raises your metabolic level, meaning you burn more calories at rest). This is ideal and is also how you'll see someone who is short, seemingly small but weigh more than you imagined. Muscle density weighs more than fat. Think of a 50 pound dumbbell versus 50 pounds of feathers, you would need a whole lot of feathers to match the weight. Same difference, you need a larger volume of fat to equal to the same amount of muscle. Therefore, lifting weights is ideal because you will become more toned, burn more calories at rest, be able to eat more even when you've lost the weight to maintain your phisique, you'll be more insulin sensitive, and you will have stronger and higher bone density (really important for women, we lose up to 5% of muscle mass per decade after the age of 30).

Body Recompositon: Weightlifting for health (and aesthetics), lose fat & gain muscle

It is possible to gain muscle and lose fat at the same time. I followed Huskular Goddess and and LexiiGettingFit for inspiration and they were really the ones that opened my eyes to the concept of body recomposition (gain musle while losing fat).
The benefits of this is as you're getting smaller your TDEE is increasing. This means by the time you lose the weight you'll still be eating an adequate amount. The other benefits include insulin sensitivity versus insulin resistence, higher metabolism, and a improved body composition like I mentioned before in the dummbell versus feather example. The downside is the number on the scale won't have a dramatic shift while your clothes will be fitting looser. Again, weight density plays tricks on us and it's easy to get caught up in body dismorphia but I promise it works.
In order to sustain and build muscle while losing fat, you need to be consuming enough protein while remaining in a caloric deficit. So 60-80g of protein per day minimum to lose 1-2lbs per week. Ideally it should be 0.8-1g of per pound of lean body mass. Eg, someone is 300lbs and they want to get down to 150lbs. They would eat 120-150g of protein per day. If this is too much, try to get at least 60-80g like I mentioned before. Remember even though 1-2lbs per week sounds small, the changes are significant because of the muscle gained. You will look and feel smaller.
Weightlifting for a rounder booty (I reshaped my glutes by weightlifting. Hormones can actually affect the shape and my PCOS did a number on me. I developed a V shape over the years. Round, square, heart, A shapes are all based on your bone structure and fat placement. Some of us just have those stubborn fat deposits in certain areas that are genetic, even when we lose the weight, it's a smaller version but the same shape. V shape on the other hand is largely seen in older women post menopause and in younger women with hormonal disorders. This is becuase the hormonal imbalances also causes muscle imbalances. Regulating your hormones helps but it won't grow the muscles for you, so I used Fit With Emely's glute guide based on your glute shape (completely free, I watched all her videos to get this info and it took me two years to go from a V shape to a round shape.
Here is the guideline for each shape:
Glute Maximus - Everyone should be working on glute maximus. It builds the shelf and overall size. Step ups (all variations), hip thrusts (all variations), lunges, rdl, leg press, all squat variations Glute Minimus - (V and Square shapes), this muscle fills in the middle between the top and lower glute. Hip abduction, single leg bridge, Standing hip abduction/cable raises Gute Medius - (Heart, Round, and A-shaped) this muscles builds a longer hip for top portion of the glutes. Eg. Single leg squat, Single leg deadlift, Cable clamshells, Reverse lung, step ups Underbutt - Everyone should be working on underbutt but this is especially useful for V shaped folks. It works the hamstrings and lower portion of glutes. Good mornings, single leg rdl (also works minimus), single leg hip thrust (also works maximus), hip abductors (also works minimus)
How to structure workout:

• Warm up/Dynamic Stretches (specific to the muscle group you're working eg. lower body warm up or upper body warm up, etc.)
• Compound exercises (2-3 exercises eg. single leg rdl, good mornings, leg press - for each exercise you do 3-4 sets, 8-12 reps, with 3-4 minute rest between sets). That probably sounds like a foreign language to some, so for instance:
  • Start excercise 1
  • Set 1 (repeat exercise 1 - rdl 8 times)
  • 3 minute rest
  • Set 2 (repeat exercise 1 - rdl 8 times)
  • 3 minute rest
  • Set 3 (repeat exercise 1 - rdl 8 times)
  • Move on to exercise 2
  • Set 1 (repeat exercise 2 - leg press 8 times)
  • 3 minute rest
  • Set 2 (repeat exercise 2 - leg press 8 times)
  • 3 minute rest
  • Set 3 (repeat exercise 2 - leg press 8 times)
  • Move on to exercise 3
  • Set 1 (repeat exercise 3 - good mornings 8 times)
  • 3 minute rest
  • Set 2 (repeat exercise 3 - good mornings 8 times)
  • 3 minute rest
  • Set 3 (repeat exercise 3 - good mornings 8 times)
• Secondary Workouts (2-3 exercises eg. step ups, bulgarian split squats, lunges - for each exercise you do 3-4 sets, 8-12 reps, with 3-4 minute rest between sets)
• Isolated/Accessory Movements: these exercises work one part of the muscle more than others, for example an overbias on the underbutt/hamstring like I mentioned before to help with the V shape ( eg. hip abductors, kickbacks, glute bridge, lying leg raises, etc. (1-2 exercises high repetitions, low weight 2-3 sets, 15-20 reps, 1-2 minute rest between sets)
• Static stretch/cool down (specific to the muscle group you're working eg. lower body cool down or upper body cool down, etc.)

Keep in mind that you only need to work on a muscle group 2-3 times a week. So I only do glutes Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Also keep in mind while I work the lower body I am also working my upper body (eg. while doing rdls I am lifting the weight with my upper body), which is why I don't have tailered upper body days, this is for aesthetic reasons, and because weightlifting more than 3 days per week is not feasible with my PCOS.
My full routine is:

• Monday- lower body
• Tuesday - Pilates/core
• Wednesday - Rest (I still go for walks on these days)
• Thursday - lower body
• Friday - Pilates/core
• Saturday - lower body
• Sunday - Rest (I still go for walks on these days)

I also used primarily resistance bands in the beginning because gym equipment intimidated me (not anymore :) ). I started with 25lb resistance and went up to 125lbs. I use the product BandBar which allowed me to use the resistance bands like a barbell at home. This isn’t the only option and you can definitely buy resistance bands and do it without the bar. BandBar
For the ab separation from being obese, I did this workout 3 times a week (also helpful post pregnancy): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smiGsW-mQX0
For my chest to help with getting perkier boobs (the derma rolling was what made the biggest difference, but this exercise helped as well though it took 6+ months for the changes to be significant. Women tend to take longer to grow chest muscles): https://youtu.be/hg7_R29jGIE?feature=shared
I also did workouts to help with my posture and mobility 3 times a week (any I could find online)
The last thing I will say is be mindful that you may gain weight initially when you start lifting weights. This is due to slight inflammation/water gain from foreign tension, which will last about a month or two before you adapt BUT your body will adapt, I promise. Keep in mind if it's days before your period or if you are on your period. It's not if, but when, our weight fluctuates. As long as you are in a deficit and doing everything right, the number will go down. Do not get discouraged!!!
Here is the edit to this post which includes my supplements, how I managed my inflammation, and how I improved my gut health. I also edited the information I shared prior to include a few more tips and lifestyle changes I made, and included a few more details. I also rearranged things so there is a separation between style/haiskin and health information. The post is getting really long so I may create a separate post for personal development/mindset tips.

Inflammation

In my case my inflammation was caused by my PCOS, insulin resistence and my obesity, but it can be caused by chronic stress, other autoimmune disorders like IBS, Crohn's disease, etc, smoking/alcohol, age related diseases, environmental toxins, diets high in processed foods, sugars, trans fats & high omega-6 fatty acids.
In my case the inflammation from the PCOS led to gut inflammation due to the high levels of coritsal (stress hormones) in reaction to the high testosterone and insulin resistence. I also experienced metabolic inflammation (non alcoholic fatty liver disease), skin inflammation (as I mentioned earlier the ezcema on my scalp, alopecia, and hirsutism), adipose tissue inflammation, chronic low grade inflammation (this led to edema or fuid retention -> insulin resistance and my high testosteron/androgen levels also exacerbated this).
To fix this these were the thin I added to my life:

• Dry brushing 2-3 times a week
• Body Gua sha
• Face Gua Sha or Face Yoga or Myofascial Massage
• Jump Rope
• Trampoline/Rebounder
• Vibration Plate (very useful for after a workout or while sitting down)
• Acupressure mat
• Arvigo (Mayan Abdominal massage) & Lymphatic drainage massage
• Leg elevation, I sleep with a pillow under my knees. In the evenings I keep my legs up.
• Massages
• Sweat more (exercise/sauna/steam room)
• Portable Infrared Sauna (reduce cortisol by 25%)
• Microcurrent
• Compression socks
• Castor oil pack 3-4x per week
• Eliminate inflammatory triggers (mine were gluten & dairy)
  • Switch to sourdough
  • Eliminate seed oils
  • Avoid alcohol & smoking
• Supplements
  • Vitamin D paired with Vitamin K1 & K2
  • Magnesium Biglycinate (I take this before bed)
  • Omega-3 Fatty Acids
  • Turmeric
  • Coenzyme 10 (Take with Clomid & Vitamin E)
  • N-Acetylcysteine (NAC)
• Teas that helped
  • Turmeric
  • Red Rasberru Leaf Tea
  • Fennel
  • Chamomile

Gut Health

Your microbiota needs the right bacteria in the right amount to perform its hormone regulating functions properly. When the type or number of bacteria gets disturbed by events such as stress, or poor diet, or your gut can no longer accomplish its job meaning you'll have inflammation, increased risk of chronic disease, skin conditions, mental health issues, weakened immune system, nutrient absorprion problems, and weight management challenges.
For weight loss issues, gut microbiomes influence hormones in producing and signaling leptin and ghrelin (these hormones regulate hunger and fullness signals). Inflammation and insulin resistence is also associated with gut health problems as mentioned before. Energy extraction from foods, certain gut bacteria are more efficient at extracting energy from food, particularly carbohydrates. When there is an imbalance, more calories can be absorbed from food leading to difficulties gaining or losing weight.
Things I did to improve gut health/intestinal permeability:

• Ate foods rich in digestive enzymes (mangoes, pineapple, etc.)
• Pre and probiotics (incorporate bifidobacterium and lactobacillus)
  • Favorite brand: Seed Heath Probiotics
• Pickles (without vinegar): Great source of prebiotics
• Apple Cider VinegaKimchi/Kombucha/Sauerkraut
  • Beware of certain types of vinegar contain chemicals which kill bacteria, “the good bacteria”, and leave the yeast Candida albicans alone.
  • Raw apple cider vinegar contains: Natural probiotics (friendly bacteria), which may help with your immune system and gut health.
    • Tablespoon of apple cider vinegar (diluted in a glass of water) before each meal
  • Balsamic vinegar: Acetic acid is the active compound in balsamic vinegar. This acid contains strains of probiotics that aid digestion. The probiotics found in acetic acid can help promote good gut health and digestion while supporting overall immune function.
• Raw Carrots (has the type of fiber that binds and flushes out toxins in gut, good to have as daily hormone & digestion support)
• Limit Processed foods and Sugar
• No drinking or smoking
• Stress managment (which I'll expand on just below)
• Increase fiber intake
• Regularly exercise
• Supplements
  • Ginger
  • L-Glutamine
  • Olive leaf extract (especially helpful if you have candida overgrowth)
  • Turmereric
• Teas
  • Ginger
  • Lemon Balm

Lower androgens/testosterone

• Teas
  • Nettle Tea
  • Spearmint tea
• Spearmint oil topically for hirsutism
• Supplements
  • Schisandra (adaptogen - stress management & hormone balance)
  • Saffron (Also helps reduce testosterone, lower blood pressure and prevents bad cholesterol)
  • Inositol
  • Holy Basil
  • Magnesium Biglycinate (I take this before bed)
  • Omega-3 Fatty Acids
  • Coenzyme 10 (Take with Clomid & Vitamin E)
  • Zinc (Important to Note: It works inversely with testosterone - raises testosterone if your levels are low and lowers it if your levels are high)

Nervous System Regulation/ Stress Management

Stress is one of the things that age us the most, and people with PCOS already have higher levels of cortisol so these are the things I do to manage my stress levels:

• Regulate circadian rhythm, direct sunlight upon waking up. I use a sunrise alarm clock lamp for this
• Same bedtime everynight (pre midnight)
• Invert screen colors at bedtime (red filter on screens)
• Pillow under knees
• No loud alarms
• Magnesium biglycinate supplement before bed
• Regulate circadian rhythm, view the sunset before bed. I use a sunrise alarm clock lamp for this
• Spend a few minutes breathing through left nostril only
• Epsom salt foot soak
• Journal
• Get back to using my coloring books (I even invested in alcohol based markers it's so fun). Regulates me and gets me in touch with my inner child
• Time with friends, my puppy, and my family
• Supplements
  • Holy Basil (adaptogen - stress management & hormonal balance)
  • L-Theanine
  • Magnesium biglycinate
• Teas
  • Red raspberry leaf (adaptogen - stress management, also good for menstrual cramps)
  • Reishi Mushroom
  • Lemon Balm
• Night time mocktail (have after dinner and not on an empty stomach due to the sugar levels in the tart cherry)
  • Teaspoon of tart cherry (high levels of melatonin)
  • Magnesium biglycinate powder
  • Probiotic soda (good for gut health)

Tea cycling

• On your period
  • Nettle leaf: Increase iron levels
  • Moringa: Increase iron levels
  • Red Raspberry leaf: Helps with period cramps (best to drink throughout the month, especially at the end of the luteal phase
  • Chamomile: Helps with wellness wind down routine when you're feeling extra tired
• Follicular phase
  • Focus teas: Peppermint, Spearmint
  • Adaptogens: Lion's mane, Adaptogen latte, and Chaga mushroom
  • Detox: Dandelion Root
• Ovulation phase
  • Detox: Dandelion root tea
  • Bloating: turmeric tea latte/golden latte
  • Estrogen dominance - symptoms (bad hormonal migraines, hot flashes, nausea): Schisandra berry, Lemon balm
• Luteal phase
  • PMS symptoms: Raspberry leaf, Schisandra berry, Ginger root (powder or tea)

The best teas for PCOS

• Spearmint
  • For reducing androgens & lowering hirsutism (facial hair)
• Cinnamon tea (improves insulin sensitivity)
• Chamomile tea (Adaptogen)
• Nettle Tea (reduce androgens)
• Red raspberry leaf (adaptogen/stress relief, also good for menstrual cramps)
• Schisandra (adaptogen/stress relief & hormone balance)
• Saffron (Also helps reduce testosterone, lower blood pressure and prevents bad cholesterol)
• Ginger (ginger offers anti-inflammatory, fertility and hormone-balancing benefits, aides digestion )

Seed Cycling

What is seed cycling? Seed cycling refers to the consumption of specific seeds at different times of the month in order to improve the production and levels of sex hormones, specifically estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone.
Seed cycling divides the female menstrual cycle into two parts:

1. During the first half of the menstrual cycle, or days 1 through 14, seed cycling encourages daily consumption of flax and pumpkin seeds.
2. During the second half of the menstrual cycle, or days 15 through 28, seed cycling encourages daily consumption of sunflower and sesame seeds

Results from seed cycling will not happen overnight. Normally women observe improvements after approximately three months of seed cycling adherence. It took me about 4ish months.
The Benefits of Seed Cycling: Support hormonal balance, alleviate PMS symptoms, decrease hormonal acne, alter irregularity of menstrual cycles, and fight stomach bloating and fatigue.

Very long post. I apologize in advance!!! I welcome any questions you might have/want to ask :D
• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
Im freshly 18 :) Im a student in humanities, and i plan to pursue law/criminal justice in university! Generally im very much a stay at home person, the vast majority of my socializing is online with people who share similar interests. I feel like im pretty good at keeping a "well adjusted member of society" face on when at school/other places, though. I always keep people at big distance and really dislike talking about myself/my interests in any way. I think my friends often describe me as blunt/direct (with them) in real life, but also suprisingly conformist/polite, especially towards strangers. I dont like getting into any conflicts, and i hate to start shit as well. Online, i get a bit closer to people (its much easier through text), but i notice i have a tendency to mirror their behavior a lot.
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
Ive been diagnosed with depression and social anxiety at about age 15, and also autism (high-functioning, but i really dont like this term). Ive been discussing the high probability of a cluster B diagnosis with my therapist as well. I do attend therapy, but cannot bring myself to be fully honest with my therapist or to open up to her in fear of being judged or labeled as "problematic".
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
My parents are very right-wing and religious, and they have a history of very poor mental health themselves. My dad has been divorced already, and my mom isnt the most mentally stable. Ive always had a better relationship with my mom - however, shes very religious. In my childhood, weve had a lot of fights (often physical) about religion. My mom wanted me to go to the church, and i realized i didnt believe in god pretty early on. I just refused to go - and that was it. I never really felt any kind of religious guilt afterwards. It was intense when i was about 8-10, though.
I grew up having to mature very fast, and was generally what people would call a "gifted child" - didnt study at all, still got very good grades, almost top in school. Didnt have the best home life. My parents were a bit neglectful, and when they did pay attention to me, it wasnt usually positive. With a younger sister, most of their attention went to her later on. I feel like she got a lot more "spoiled" and got a lot of love and material things that i never got, but ironically, now they view me as the "better" kid. I struggle a lot with the financial aspect of things - im bad at spending money. I either spend too little or too much, and always feel intense guilt afterwards.
I learned from a pretty young age how to behave in a way they wanted me to, and that was to always be quiet and to agree with them. I think while im doing better in that regard now (i can stand up for myself.. usually), i still have no boundaries and often let people step all over me. To avoid that, i just dont get close to them at all.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
Oh man id feel SO refreshed. I already spend all my days by myself, but theres other people in the house most of the time. Whenever my parents/sister are out for a few days i have a huge blast just relaxing and enjoying the peace and quiet.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
Im absolutely terrible at sports (lol). Gym was always the worst thing possible to ever exist to me. I dont really enjoy them at all.
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
I am not very curious naturally. I usually am satisfied with the information i can get. The ideas i get are about drawings/writing stories, and theyre very chaotic/scattered around. I am however pretty curious about people, and love listening to anything they tell me about themselves. In personal relationships, im much more of a listener than a speaker.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
Im really clumsy and not good with my body in general... I think its just the lack of physical coordination. Things often fall out of my hands, and i can (and will) trip over my feet. I do however enjoy fidgeting with stuff, and i do it almost unconciously with whatever i have.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
I am an artist, but i often feel like my art lacks... structure and soul. It feels really shallow, like an imitation of art. I really like photorealistic/detailed art, but i can appreciate more abstract forms as well. I especially enjoy art of nature, which is funny considering i dont care that much about photographs of the same subject.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
I dont really care about the past that much, unless its something that REALLY affects me. Ive had people describe me as cold/uncaring just because of how quickly im able to move on from things. Yeah, i think about the past sometimes, but the feelings i felt back then are 100% alien to me. I cant remember how they felt, i dont tear up thinking about them, nothing like that. I feel really detached from my past.
The present affects me much more. When i see things that i resonate with (like lyrics, art, writing) i am quick to suddenly tear up without even understanding why i feel like that. Its not like i think of a specific memory or thing, the feelings just appear by themselves. The present is the only thing that feels somewhat real to me. Both the past and the future feel unreal, and i cant really grasp that they are things that were/will be actually real.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
I really like helping others as long as its something doable (and im not in my bed at the moment lol). It makes me feel useful and also like they need me (as bad as it sounds). It's not usual for me to offer help by myself, but if someone rejects it, I dont push further.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
Not really. Sometimes things happen and thats that. Thinking too much about it is just going to make me spiral even more.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
I like efficiency, but not productivity... Lol the best way i could describe it is im really good at coming up with "shortcuts" that save me time and energy, and some people call it lazy, but i dont really like being "productive" in the traditional sense i guess
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
I dont think i do that. Im bad at controlling anything. The most control i do (and i know its a very bad habit, im working on it) is cutting people off/distancing myself once they want to get closesomething more.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
I like art a lot. It helps me relax and destress. It can also get me validation, which i sometimes crave a lot. In a way it makes my brain "shut off" and just focus on one thing, which i really like.
I also like literature, but in a specific way? I prefer very vague ideas/concepts over actually getting into the details of the book.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
My learning style is reading/listening to stuff and just PRAYING it gets into my brain one way or another. I have no idea what my studying style is - some information just flows in naturally, while some i just cannot get into my brain at all. I struggle the most with simple memorization. I just cant do it. It will not get into my head at all, no matter how many times i repeat/revise it.
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
I like to write up plans, but then end up improvising anyways. If i dont break the project into a few tasks or a to-do list, i wont be able to do it at all.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
I really want to find someone who likes me and understands me, and also accepts me as i am. I want to find a person who i can live with, honestly. Professionaly i want to have a job i like and thats interesting to me. I also want to have money to spend comfortably.
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I cant stand people making fun of me/making snide remarks, even as a joke. Anything about my appearance gets me agitated and very upset instantly. I fear being ridiculed and shunned, or outcasted. Being "different" and judged are probably my two biggest fears. I cannot stand the thought of an entire group of people turning on me/making fun of me. It terrifies me. Im lucky to make it through highschool without that happening lol
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
I think its when i have the energy to socialize/do new things and i dont abandon any friend groups (or leave myself out on purpose, that also happens very often). I dont restrict myself and just go with the flow.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
Stressful, very lonely and apathetic. In those periods of time i dont communicate with anyone, and withdraw completely. I also do impulsive things (most often self harm/substances) just to feel something, anything at all.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
Im not attached to reality. I daydream almost all the time, and im not good at paying attention to my surroundings until i have one specific thing to focus on. Id compare my thoughts to a very loud radio - it goes on constantly, without a stop, and without a way to turn them off in any way.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
I dont know. I trust that my mind would take me somewhere, but i have no idea where it would at any given time.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
I tend to think long about unimportant things, and then be very impulsive when it comes to important things without thinking them through. Even if i change my mind, i usually stick to one thing.
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
I am insanely bad at processing my emotions. As edgy as it sounds, i rarely feel stuff intensively. When i do, its very sudden and i cannot control it in any way - i end up breaking down in tears without understanding why. Im very bad at controlling my emotions when they do appear.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
Yes, very often. I dont want to be excluded/shunned, so i will say whatever gets people to agree with me. I also dont want to make the conversation weird or awkward.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
I think it depends on if i want to break the rules. As long as they dont bother me personally, i dont really care about the rules and will probably follow them just to have peace.
I'll add some other stuff about myself that i think could/might help!
Generally, ive never had much interest in MBTI, and i prefer enneagram (its easier for me to understand). I identify as a type 9.
I do have some anger issues, which once again boils down to me not feeling most emotions until i break down and feel them ALL AT ONCE very intensely. I cannot control feeling that stuff either. Most of the time im very quiet and dont confront anyone until i reach my boiling point and blow up out of nowhere.
While i have troubles getting close to people, interpersonal relationships are very important to me. I usually have one person thats very important to me, and i get very close to them. Its like i cannot manage to divide my attention between two or more people (?) if that makes sense, i pour all my energy into one person and cant manage to care for the rest
Like to describe something, my longest and most impactful relationship lasted for 2 years. Said person was the WHOLE world for me. Not even exaggerating - i thought about them all the time, i wanted to talk to them all the time, i did a lot of things for them that i wouldnt do for anyone else. I poured all my energy into comforting them, talking to them, making sure they like me and that i am good enough for them to stay. I was able to cry over them everyday. Every single day. Because they said something to me, because they criticized me, becuase i felt like they were cold. Some things happened, i realized it was a pretty unhealthy relationship - and i broke it off. After a few weeks, i felt like it never happened. ??? I still think of them sometimes, but i dont think i could ever go back - even if i feel like theyre the only person who ever truly and fully understood me.
As i also said earlier, i have a bad habit of mirroring people. I can base my whole personality on someone i like, and develop even such things as their way of speaking, comforting people, likes, dislikes.. I also very rarely stand up for myself, until i get really fed up beyond a point of saving anything.
Most of the time i feel like im wearing a "mask" of sorts, and i feel like im lying to everyone about everything? I dont know why. It feels like im fabricating everything about myself, and i have no grasp on my identity.
Im also very, VERY avoidant. I cannot stress that enough. (If it wasnt obvious enough from everything said previously lol)
Despite being distrustful of people, i like talking about myself (like right now lol). It makes me feel like i actually exist and i have a place in this world, instead of just aimlessly wandering around.
Thank you for reading all of this!!!!!

Leaked 2017 Gangstalker Recruitment Video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxxxpd7UqmE
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SECURITY INDUSTRY SPECIALIST TELLS ALL: Bryan Kofron Original Podcast #1 from Gangstalkerwars.com
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcDBS2HE-70
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Kenneka Jenkins case azariah exposes the gang stalking program and exposes her Handler
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbMsQdvEJMM
​

Patents for Mind Control Technology

https://fightingmonarch.com/2018/05/06/patents-for-mind-control-technology/
May 6, 2018 fightingmonarch
Below please find over one hundred patents for some of the mind control technology that is being used against us. You may find it useful for court cases, further investigation, and general informational purposes.
In The Minds of Men, a film by Aaron and Melissa Dykes, you can learn how the CIA developed this technology as early as the 1950s, implanting people with it.
Cybernetics and The Minds of Men
And at least as early as the 1960s, CIA was using microwaves to activate the technology they implanted in us, you know, like the ones that come from the HAARP array, 5G, or all those “cellphone towers” you see….
CIA Mind Control: Doctors Who Stand Against Microwave Harassment
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I have attached below some links to my articles on the applications of this technology, how to spot it, and how to fight back.
Mind Control & Misdiagnosis of Physical & Behavioral Symptoms
How To Spot Mind Control Through Unusual Speech Patterns
V2K – Voice To Skull
Some of the assignees or holders of the patents with possibly deep pockets, making attractive defendants for a lawsuit, include Accenture Global Services Ltd.; Advanced Neurotechnologies, Inc.; Alliant Technosystems Inc.; American Science and Engineering Inc.; American Scientific Innovations LLC; American Tech Corp.; California Institute of Technology; Dorne and Margolin Inc.; Dream Weaver JV; General Dynamics Corp.; Georgia Tech Research Corp.; Google Technology Holdings; Intelligent Tech International Inc.; International Business Machines Corp.; Interstate Industries, Inc. d/b/a Hemi-Sync; Leland Stanford Junior University; Life Science and Technology LLC; Lockheed Martin Coherent Tech Inc.; Lockheed Martin Corp.; Lockheed Martin Energy Systems Inc.; Mentec AG; Micron Devices LLC; Motorola Mobility LLC; PhiloMetron Inc.; Pioneer Corp.; Proactive Systems Inc.; Procter and Gamble Co.; Quantum Devices Inc.; Raytheon; Rolls-Royce North American Technologies Inc.; STIMUTECH Inc.; Transparent Corp. Turtle Beach Corp.; University of Michigan; Universal Hedonics Inc.; VitrePixel Holdings LLC; and Wavestream Corp.
Otherwise, it’s hard to sue the government, but I also saw the U.S. Air Force listed as the assignee on at least one patent….
That shouldn’t be a surprise since they are now spraying us with nanotechnology on a regular basis.
Chemtrails, Smart Dust, & Mind Control

At any rate, here are the patents. Just reading some of them helped me to understand the attacks against me and to resist them. Round-robin voices–a man, woman, and child–at different frequencies–are just one example.
Hearing Device – US4858612 – Inventor, Phillip L. Stocklin – Assignee, Mentec AG. A method and apparatus for simulation of hearing in mammals by introduction of a plurality of microwaves into the region of the auditory cortex is shown and described. A microphone is used to transform sound signals into electrical signals which are in turn analyzed and processed to provide controls for generating a plurality of microwave signals at different frequencies. The multifrequency microwaves are then applied to the brain in the region of the auditory cortex. By this method sounds are perceived by the mammal which are representative of the original sound received by the microphone.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US4858612
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Hearing System – US4877027 – Inventor & Assignee, Wayne B. Brunkan. Sound is induced in the head of a person by radiating the head with microwaves in the range of 100 megahertz to 10,000 megahertz that are modulated with a particular waveform. The waveform consists of frequency modulated bursts. Each burst is made up of ten to twenty uniformly spaced pulses grouped tightly together. The burst width is between 500 nanoseconds and 100 microseconds. The pulse width is in the range of 10 nanoseconds to 1 microsecond. The bursts are frequency modulated by the audio input to create the sensation of hearing in the person whose head is irradiated.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US4877027
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Silent Subliminal Representation System – US5159703 – Inventor & Assignee, Oliver M. Lowery. A silent communications system in which nonaural carriers, in the very low or very high audio frequency range or in the adjacent ultrasonic frequency spectrum, are amplitude or frequency modulated with the desired intelligence and propagated acoustically or vibrationally, for inducement into the brain, typically through the use of loudspeakers, earphones or piezoelectric transducers. The modulated carriers may be transmitted directly in real time or may be conveniently recorded and stored on mechanical, magnetic or optical media for delayed or repeated transmission to the listener.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US5159703
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Method and Device for Interpreting Concepts and Conceptual Thought from Brainwave Data & for Assisting for Diagnosis of Brainwave Disfunction – US5392788 – Inventor, William J. Hudspeth – Assignee, Samuel J. Leven. A system for acquisition and decoding of EP and SP signals is provided which comprises a transducer for presenting stimuli to a subject, EEG transducers for recording brainwave signals from the subject, a computer for controlling and synchronizing stimuli presented to the subject and for concurrently recording brainwave signals, and either interpreting signals using a model for conceptual perceptional and emotional thought to correspond EEG signals to thought of the subject or comparing signals to normative EEG signals from a normative population to diagnose and locate the origin of brain dysfunctional underlying perception, conception, and emotion.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US5392788
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Method and an Associated Apparatus for Remotely Determining Information as to Person’s Emotional State – US5507291 – Inventors & Assignees, Robert C. Stirbl & Peter J. Wilk. In a method for remotely determining information relating to a person’s emotional state, an waveform energy having a predetermined frequency and a predetermined intensity is generated and wirelessly transmitted towards a remotely located subject. Waveform energy emitted from the subject is detected and automatically analyzed to derive information relating to the individual’s emotional state. Physiological or physical parameters of blood pressure, pulse rate, pupil size, respiration rate and perspiration level are measured and compared with reference values to provide information utilizable in evaluating interviewee’s responses or possibly criminal intent in security sensitive areas.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US5507291
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Apparatus for Electric Stimulation of Auditory Nerves of a Human Being – US5922016 – Inventors & Assignees, Erwin & Ingeborg Hochmair. Apparatus for electric stimulation and diagnostics of auditory nerves of a human being, e.g. for determination of sensation level (SL), most conformable level (MCL) and uncomfortable level (UCL) audibility curves, includes a stimulator detachably secured to a human being for sending a signal into a human ear, and an electrode placed within the human ear and electrically connected to the stimulator by an electric conductor for conducting the signals from the stimulator into the ear. A control unit is operatively connected to the stimulator for instructing the stimulator as to characteristics of the generated signals being transmitted to the ear.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US5922016
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Brain Wave Inducing System – US5954629 – Inventors, Masatoshi Yanagidaira, Yuchi Kimikawa, Takeshi Fukami & Mitsuo Yasushi – Assignee, Pioneer Corp. Sensors are provided for detecting brain waves of a user, and a band-pass filter is provided for extracting a particular brain waves including an α wave included in a detected brain wave. The band-pass filter comprises a first band-pass filter having a narrow pass band, and a second band-pass filter having a wide pass band. One of the first and second band-pass filters is selected, and a stimulation signal is produced in dependency on an α wave extracted by a selected band-pass filter. In accordance with the stimulation signal, a stimulation light is emitted to the user in order to induce the user to relax or sleeping state.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US5954629
Layout Overlap Detection with Selective Flattening in Computer Implemented Integrated Circuit Design – US6011991 – Inventors, Wai-Yan Ho & Hongbo Tang – Assignee, Synopsys Inc. The present invention relates to a method for efficiently performing hierarchical design rules checks (DRC) and layout versus schematic comparison (LVS) on layout areas of an integrated circuit where cells overlap or where a cell and local geometry overlap. With the present invention, a hierarchical tree describes the integrated circuit’s layout data including cells having parent-child relationships and including local geometry. The present invention performs efficient layout verification by performing LVS and DRC checking on the new portions of an integrated circuit design and layout areas containing overlapping cells. When instances of cells overlap, the present invention determines the overlap area using predefined data structures that divide each cell into an array of spatial bins. Each bin of a parent is examined to determine if two or more cell instances reside therein or if a cell instance and local geometry reside therein. Once overlap is detected, the areas of the layout data corresponding to the overlap areas are selectively flattened prior to proceeding to DRC and LVS processing. During selective flattening of the overlap areas, the hierarchical tree is traversed from the top cell down through intermediate nodes to the leaf nodes. Each time geometry data is located during the traversal, it is pushes directly to the top cell without being stored in intermediate locations. This provides an effective mechanism for selective flattening.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6011991
Apparatus for Audibly Communicating Speech Using the Radio Frequency Hearing Effect – US6587729 – Inventors, James P. O’laughlin & Diana L. Loree – Assignee, US Air Force. A modulation process with a fully suppressed carrier and input preprocessor filtering to produce an encoded output; for amplitude modulation (AM) and audio speech preprocessor filtering, intelligible subjective sound is produced when the encoded signal is demodulated using the RF Hearing Effect. Suitable forms of carrier suppressed modulation include single sideband (SSB) and carrier suppressed amplitude modulation (CSAM), with both sidebands present.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6587729
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Coupling an Electronic Skin Tattoo to a Mobile Communication Device – US20130297301A1 – Inventor, William P. Alberth, Jr. – Assignee, Google Technology Holdings LLC (formerly Motorola Mobility LLC). A system and method provides auxiliary voice input to a mobile communication device (MCD). The system comprises an electronic skin tattoo capable of being applied to a throat region of a body. The electronic skin tattoo can include an embedded microphone; a transceiver for enabling wireless communication with the MCD; and a power supply configured to receive energizing signals from a personal area network associated with the MCD. A controller is communicatively coupled to the power supply. The controller can be configured to receive a signal from the MCD to initiate reception of an audio stream picked up from the throat region of the body for subsequent audio detection by the MCD under an improved signal-to-noise ratio than without the employment of the electronic skin tattoo.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US20130297301A1
Apparatus for Remotely Altering & Monitoring Brainwaves – US3951134 – Inventor, Robert G. Malech – Assignee, Dorne & Margolin Inc. Apparatus for and method of sensing brain waves at a position remote from a subject whereby electromagnetic signals of different frequencies are simultaneously transmitted to the brain of the subject in which the signals interfere with one another to yield a waveform which is modulated by the subject’s brain waves. The interference waveform which is representative of the brain wave activity is re-transmitted by the brain to a receiver where it is demodulated and amplified. The demodulated waveform is then displayed for visual viewing and routed to a computer for further processing and analysis. The demodulated waveform also can be used to produce a compensating signal which is transmitted back to the brain to effect a desired change in electrical activity therein.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US3951134
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Auditory Subliminal Message System & Method – US4395600 – Inventors, Rene R. Lundy & David L. Tyler – Assignee, Proactive Systems Inc. Ambient audio signals from the customer shopping area within a store are sensed and fed to a signal processing circuit that produces a control signal which varies with variations in the amplitude of the sensed audio signals. A control circuit adjusts the amplitude of an auditory subliminal anti-shoplifting message to increase with increasing amplitudes of sensed audio signals and decrease with decreasing amplitudes of sensed audio signals. This amplitude controlled subliminal message may be mixed with background music and transmitted to the shopping area. To reduce distortion of the subliminal message, its amplitude is controlled to increase at a first rate slower than the rate of increase of the amplitude of ambient audio signals from the area. Also, the amplitude of the subliminal message is controlled to decrease at a second rate faster than the first rate with decreasing ambient audio signal amplitudes to minimize the possibility of the subliminal message becoming supraliminal upon rapid declines in ambient audio signal amplitudes in the area. A masking signal is provided with an amplitude which is also controlled in response to the amplitude of sensed ambient audio signals. This masking signal may be combined with the auditory subliminal message to provide a composite signal fed to, and controlled by, the control circuit.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US4395600
Apparatus for Inducing Frequency Reduction in Brain Wave – US4834701 – Inventor, Kazumi Masaki – Assignee, Ken Hayashibara. Frequency reduction in human brain wave is inducible by allowing human brain to perceive 4-16 hertz beat sound. Such beat sound can be easily produced with an apparatus, comprising at least one sound source generating a set of low-frequency signals different each other in frequency by 4-16 hertz. Electroencephalographic study revealed that the beat sound is effective to reduce beta-rhythm into alpha-rhythm, as well as to retain alpha-rhythm.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US4834701
Method & System for Altering Consciousness – US5123899 – Inventor & Assignee, James Gall. A system for altering the states of human consciousness involves the simultaneous application of multiple stimuli, preferable sounds, having differing frequencies and wave forms. The relationship between the frequencies of the several stimuli is exhibited by the equation
g=s.sup.n/4 ·f where f=frequency of one stimulus; g=frequency of the other stimuli of stimulus; and n=a positive or negative integer which is different for each other stimulus. Click on Link for Full Patent: US5123899
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Method of and Apparatus for Inducing Desired States of Consciousness – US5356368 – Inventor, Robert A. Monroe – Assignee, Interstate Industries Inc. Improved methods and apparatus for entraining human brain patterns, employing frequency following response (FFR) techniques, facilitate attainment of desired states of consciousness. In one embodiment, a plurality of electroencephalogram (EEG) waveforms, characteristic of a given state of consciousness, are combined to yield an EEG waveform to which subjects may be susceptible more readily. In another embodiment, sleep patterns are reproduced based on observed brain patterns during portions of a sleep cycle; entrainment principles are applied to induce sleep. In yet another embodiment, entrainment principles are applied in the work environment, to induce and maintain a desired level of consciousness. A portable device also is described.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US5356368
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Acoustic Heterodyne Device & Method – US5889870 – Inventor, Elwood G. Norris – Assignee, Turtle Beach Corp. (formerly American Tech Corp.) The present invention is the emission of new sonic or subsonic compression waves from a region resonant cavity or similar of interference of at least two ultrasonic wave trains. In one embodiment, two ultrasonic emitters are oriented toward the cavity so as to cause interference between emitted ultrasonic wave trains. When the difference in frequency between the two ultrasonic wave trains is in the sonic or subsonic frequency range, a new sonic or subsonic wave train of that frequency is emitted from within the cavity or region of interference in accordance with the principles of acoustical heterodyning. The preferred embodiment is a system comprised of a single ultrasonic radiating element oriented toward the cavity emitting multiple waves.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US5889870
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Apparatus & Method of Broadcasting Audible Sound Using Ultrasonic Sound as a Carrier – US60552336 – Inventor & Assignee, Austin Lowrey III. An ultrasonic sound source broadcasts an ultrasonic signal which is amplitude and/or frequency modulated with an information input signal originating from an information input source. If the signals are amplitude modulated, a square root function of the information input signal is produced prior to modulation. The modulated signal, which may be amplified, is then broadcast via a projector unit, whereupon an individual or group of individuals located in the broadcast region detect the audible sound.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6052336
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Pulsative Manipulation of Nervous Systems – US6091994 – Inventor & Assignee, Hendricus G. Loos. Method and apparatus for manipulating the nervous system by imparting subliminal pulsative cooling to the subject’s skin at a frequency that is suitable for the excitation of a sensory resonance. At present, two major sensory resonances are known, with frequencies near 1/2 Hz and 2.4 Hz. The 1/2 Hz sensory resonance causes relaxation, sleepiness, ptosis of the eyelids, a tonic smile, a “knot” in the stomach, or sexual excitement, depending on the precise frequency used. The 2.4 Hz resonance causes the slowing of certain cortical activities, and is characterized by a large increase of the time needed to silently count backward from 100 to 60, with the eyes closed. The invention can be used by the general public for inducing relaxation, sleep, or sexual excitement, and clinically for the control and perhaps a treatment of tremors, seizures, and autonomic system disorders such as panic attacks. Embodiments shown are a pulsed fan to impart subliminal cooling pulses to the subject’s skin, and a silent device which induces periodically varying flow past the subject’s skin, the flow being induced by pulsative rising warm air plumes that are caused by a thin resistive wire which is periodically heated by electric current pulses.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6091994
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Method & Device for Implementing Radio Frequency Hearing Effect – US6470214 – Inventors, James P. O’Loughlin & Diana Loree. Assignee, US Air Force. A modulation process with a fully suppressed carrier and input preprocessor filtering to produce an encoded output; for amplitude modulation (AM) and audio speech preprocessor filtering, intelligible subjective sound is produced when the encoded signal is demodulated using the RF Hearing Effect. Suitable forms of carrier suppressed modulation include single sideband (SSB) and carrier suppressed amplitude modulation (CSAM), with both sidebands present.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6470214
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Method & Device for Producing a Desired Brain State – US6488617 – Inventor, Bruce F. Katz – Assignee, Universal Hedonics. A method and device for the production of a desired brain state in an individual contain means for monitoring and analyzing the brain state while a set of one or more magnets produce fields that alter this state. A computational system alters various parameters of the magnetic fields in order to close the gap between the actual and desired brain state. This feedback process operates continuously until the gap is minimized and/or removed.
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Multifunctional Radio Frequency Directed Energy System – US7629918 – Inventors, Kenneth W. Brown, David J. Canich & Russell F. Berg – Assignee, Raytheon Co. An RFDE system includes an RFDE transmitter and at least one RFDE antenna. The RFDE transmitter and antenna direct high power electromagnetic energy towards a target sufficient to cause high energy damage or disruption of the target. The RFDE system further includes a targeting system for locating the target. The targeting system includes a radar transmitter and at least one radar antenna for transmitting and receiving electromagnetic energy to locate the target. The RFDE system also includes an antenna pointing system for aiming the at least one RFDE antenna at the target based on the location of the target as ascertained by the targeting system. Moreover, at least a portion of the radar transmitter or the at least one radar antenna is integrated within at least a portion of the RFDE transmitter or the at least one RFDE antenna.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US7629918
Nervous System Excitation Device – US3393279 – Inventor, Flanagan Gillis Patrick – Assignee, Biolectron Inc. (Listening Inc.) A METHOD OF TRANSMITTING AUDIO INFORMATION TO THE BRAIN OF SUBJECT THROUGH THE NERVOUS SYSTEM OF THE SUBJECT WHICH METHOD COMPRISES, IN COMBINATION, THE STEPS OF GENERATING A RADIO FREQUENCY SIGNAL HAVING A FREQUENCY IN EXCESS OF THE HIGHERST FREQUENCY OF THE AUDIO INFORMATTION TO BE TRANSMITTED, MODULATING SAID RADIO FREQUENCY SIGNAL WITH THE AUDIO INFORMATION TO BE TRANSMITTED, AND APPLYING SAID MODULATED RADIO FREQUENCY SIGNAL TO A PAIR OF INSULATED ELECTRODES AND PLACING BOTH OF SAID INSULATED ELECTRODE IN PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH THE SKIN OF SAID SUBJECT, THE STRETCH OF SAID RADIO FREQUENCY ELECTROMAGNETIC FIELD BEING HIGH ENOUGH AT THE SKIN SURFACE TO CAUSE THE SENSATION OF HEARING THE AUDIO INFORMATION MODULATED THEREON IN THE BRAIN OF SAID SUBJECT AND LOW ENOUGH SO THAT SAID SUBJECT EXPERIENCES NO PHYSICAL DISCOMFORT.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US3393279
Method & System for Simplifying Speech Wave Forms – US3647970 – Inventor & Assignee, Gillis P. Flanagan. A speech waveform is converted to a constant amplitude square wave in which the transitions between the amplitude extremes are spaced so as to carry the speech information. The system includes a pair of tuned amplifier circuits which act as high-pass filters having a 6 decibel per octave slope from 0 to 15,000 cycles followed by two stages, each comprised of an amplifier and clipper circuit, for converting the filtered waveform to a square wave. A radio transmitter and receiver having a plurality of separate channels within a conventional single side band transmitter bandwidth and a system for transmitting secure speech information are also disclosed.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US3647970
Intra-Oral Electronic Tracking Device – US6239705 – Inventor & Assignee, Jeffrey Glen. An improved stealthy, non-surgical, biocompatable electronic tracking device is provided in which a housing is placed intraorally. The housing contains microcircuitry. The microcircuitry comprises a receiver, a passive mode to active mode activator, a signal decoder for determining positional fix, a transmitter, an antenna, and a power supply. Optionally, an amplifier may be utilized to boost signal strength. The power supply energizes the receiver. Upon receiving a coded activating signal, the positional fix signal decoder is energized, determining a positional fix. The transmitter subsequently transmits through the antenna a position locating signal to be received by a remote locator. In another embodiment of the present invention, the microcircuitry comprises a receiver, a passive mode to active mode activator, a transmitter, an antenna and a power supply. Optionally, an amplifier may be utilized to boost signal strength. The power supply energizes the receiver. Upon receiving a coded activating signal, the transmitter is energized. The transmitter subsequently transmits through the antenna a homing signal to be received by a remote locator.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6239705
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Method & Apparatus for Analyzing Neurological Response to Emotion-Inducing Stimuli – US6292688 – Inventor, Richard E. Patton – Assignee, Advanced Neurotechnologies, Inc. A method of determining the extent of the emotional response of a test subject to stimului having a time-varying visual content, for example, an advertising presentation. The test subject is positioned to observe the presentation for a given duration, and a path of communication is established between the subject and a brain wave detectoanalyzer. The intensity component of each of at least two different brain wave frequencies is measured during the exposure, and each frequency is associated with a particular emotion. While the subject views the presentation, periodic variations in the intensity component of the brain waves of each of the particular frequencies selected is measured. The change rates in the intensity at regular periods during the duration are also measured. The intensity change rates are then used to construct a graph of plural coordinate points, and these coordinate points graphically establish the composite emotional reaction of the subject as the presentation continues.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6292688
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Portable & Hand-Held Device for Making Humanly Audible Sounds Responsive to the Detecting of Ultrasonic Sounds – US6426919 – Inventor & Assignee, William A. Gerosa. A portable and hand-held device for making humanly audible sounds responsive to the detecting of ultrasonic sounds. The device includes a hand-held housing and circuitry that is contained in the housing. The circuitry includes a microphone that receives the ultrasonic sound, a first low voltage audio power amplifier that strengthens the signal from the microphone, a second low voltage audio power amplifier that further strengthens the signal from the first low voltage audio power amplifier, a 7-stage ripple carry binary counter that lowers the frequency of the signal from the second low voltage audio power amplifier so as to be humanly audible, a third low voltage audio power amplifier that strengthens the signal from the 7-stage ripple carry binary counter, and a speaker that generates a humanly audible sound from the third low voltage audio power amplifier.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6426919
Signal Injection Coupling into the Human Vocal Tract for Robust Audible & Inaudible Voice Recognition – US6487531 – Inventors & Assignees, Carol A. Tosaya & John W. Sliwa, Jr. A means and method are provided for enhancing or replacing the natural excitation of the human vocal tract by artificial excitation means, wherein the artificially created acoustics present additional spectral, temporal, or phase data useful for (1) enhancing the machine recognition robustness of audible speech or (2) enabling more robust machine-recognition of relatively inaudible mouthed or whispered speech. The artificial excitation (a) may be arranged to be audible or inaudible, (b) may be designed to be non-interfering with another user’s similar means, (c) may be used in one or both of a vocal content-enhancement mode or a complimentary vocal tract-probing mode, and/or (d) may be used for the recognition of audible or inaudible continuous speech or isolated spoken commands.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6487531
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Nervous System Manipulation by Electromagnetic Fields from Monitors – US6506148 – Inventor & Assignee, Hendricus G. Loos. Physiological effects have been observed in a human subject in response to stimulation of the skin with weak electromagnetic fields that are pulsed with certain frequencies near ½ Hz or 2.4 Hz, such as to excite a sensory resonance. Many computer monitors and TV tubes, when displaying pulsed images, emit pulsed electromagnetic fields of sufficient amplitudes to cause such excitation. It is therefore possible to manipulate the nervous system of a subject by pulsing images displayed on a nearby computer monitor or TV set. For the latter, the image pulsing may be imbedded in the program material, or it may be overlaid by modulating a video stream, either as an RF signal or as a video signal. The image displayed on a computer monitor may be pulsed effectively by a simple computer program. For certain monitors, pulsed electromagnetic fields capable of exciting sensory resonances in nearby subjects may be generated even as the displayed images are pulsed with subliminal intensity.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6506148
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Apparatus To Effect Brainwave Entrainment over Premises Power-Line Wiring – US8579793 – Inventor, James David Honeycutt & John Clois Honeycutt, Jr. – Assignee, James David Honeycutt. This invention discloses an apparatus and method to affect brainwave entrainment by Very Low Frequency eXclusive-OR (XOR) modulation of a Very High Frequency carrier over a premise’s power-line Alternating Current (AC) wiring. A microcontroller with stored program memory space is used to store and produce the waveforms that lead to brainwave entrainment by controlling an H-Bridge capable of generating bipolar square waves, which output is capacitive coupled to a premises AC power-line and a light sensing device is used by the microcontroller to determine whether to produce daytime or nighttime entrainment frequencies.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US8579793
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Method & System for Brain Entrainment – US20140309484A1 – Inventor & Assignee, Daniel Wonchul Chong. The present invention is a method of modifying music files to induce a desired state of consciousness. First and second modulations are introduced into a music file such that, when the music file is played, both of the modulations occur simultaneously. Additional modulations can be introduced, as well as sound tones at window frequencies.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US20140309484A1
Method of Inducing Harmonious States of Being – US6135944 – Inventors, Gerard D. Bowman, Edward M. Karam & Steven C. Benson – Assignee, Gerard D. Bowman. A method of inducing harmonious states of being using vibrational stimuli, preferably sound, comprised of a multitude of frequencies expressing a specific pattern of relationship. Two base signals are modulated by a set of ratios to generate a plurality of harmonics. The harmonics are combined to form a “fractal” arrangement.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6135944
Pulse Variability in Electric Field Manipulation of Nervous Systems – US6167304 – Inventor & Assignee, Hendricus G. Loos. Apparatus and method for manipulating the nervous system of a subject by applying to the skin a pulsing external electric field which, although too weak to cause classical nerve stimulation, modulates the normal spontaneous spiking patterns of certain kinds of afferent nerves. For certain pulse frequencies the electric field stimulation can excite in the nervous system resonances with observable physiological consequences. Pulse variability is introduced for the purpose of thwarting habituation of the nervous system to the repetitive stimulation, or to alleviate the need for precise tuning to a resonance frequency, or to control pathological oscillatory neural activities such as tremors or seizures. Pulse generators with stochastic and deterministic pulse variability are disclosed, and the output of an effective generator of the latter type is characterized.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US6167304
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Method & System for Brain Entertainment – US8636640 – Inventor, Daniel Wonchul Chang – Assignee, Brain Symphony LLC. The present invention is a method of modifying music files to induce a desired state of consciousness. First and second modulations are introduced into a music file such that, when the music file is played, both of the modulations occur simultaneously. Additional modulations can be introduced, as well as sound tones at window frequencies.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US8636640
Method & Apparatus for Manipulating Nervous Systems – US5782874 – Inventor & Assignee, Hendricus C. Loos. Apparatus and method for manipulating the nervous system of a subject through afferent nerves, modulated by externally applied weak fluctuating electric fields, tuned to certain frequencies such as to excite a resonance in certain neural circuits. Depending on the frequency chosen, excitation of such resonances causes relaxation, sleepiness, sexual excitement, or the slowing of certain cortical processes. The weak electric field for causing the excitation is applied to skin areas away from the head of the subject, such as to avoid substantial polarization current densities in the brain. By exploiting the resonance phenomenon, these physiological effects can be brought about by very weak electric fields produced by compact battery-operated devices with very low current assumption. The fringe field of doublet electrodes that form a parallel-plate condenser can serve as the required external electric field to be administered to the subject’s skin. Several such doublets can be combined such as to induce an electric field with short range, suitable for localized field administration. A passive doublet placed such as to face the doublet on either side causes a boost of the distant induced electric field, and allows the design of very compact devices. The method and apparatus can be used by the general public as an aid to relaxation, sleep, or arousal, and clinically for the control and perhaps the treatment of tremors and seizures, and disorders of the autonomic nervous system, such as panic attacks.
Click on Link for Full Patent: US5782874
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Electronics have become an integral part of our daily lives, shaping how we communicate, work, learn, and entertain ourselves. From the early days of basic electrical circuits to the complex technologies of today, electronics have undergone a remarkable evolution, revolutionizing various aspects of human existence. In this article, we'll delve into the fascinating world of electronics, exploring their evolution, impact on daily life, future trends, and ethical considerations.

Evolution of Electronics

The history of electronics can be traced back to the discovery of electricity and the invention of basic electrical components such as resistors, capacitors, and inductors. However, the true evolution of electronics began in the late 19th and early 20th centuries with the development of vacuum tubes, transistors, and integrated circuits. These technological advancements paved the way for the miniaturization and mass production of electronic devices, leading to the emergence of consumer electronics, industrial automation, medical diagnostics, and automotive systems.

Types of Electronics

Electronics encompass a wide range of devices and systems, each serving a specific purpose in our lives. Consumer electronics, such as smartphones, laptops, and televisions, are designed for personal use and entertainment. Industrial electronics include automation systems, control panels, and sensors used in manufacturing, agriculture, and infrastructure. Medical electronics encompass diagnostic equipment, imaging devices, and wearable sensors used in healthcare and medical research. Automotive electronics, such as engine control units (ECUs) and infotainment systems, enhance vehicle performance, safety, and comfort.

Impact of Electronics on Daily Life

The impact of electronics on our daily lives is profound and multifaceted. These devices have revolutionized how we communicate, connect, and interact with the world around us. Smartphones and social media platforms have made it easier than ever to stay connected with friends, family, and colleagues, regardless of geographical distance. Moreover, electronics have transformed how we work, learn, shop, and entertain ourselves, streamlining everyday tasks and expanding our capabilities.

Challenges and Concerns

Despite their many benefits, electronics also pose challenges and concerns. E-waste pollution has become a pressing environmental issue as discarded electronics contribute to landfills and toxic waste contamination. Moreover, the proliferation of electronic devices has raised concerns about privacy and security risks, as well as accessibility issues for individuals with disabilities or limited digital literacy. Bridging the digital divide and ensuring equitable access to technology are crucial for promoting inclusivity and reducing disparities in education, healthcare, and economic opportunities.

Future Trends in Electronics

Looking ahead, the future of electronics promises exciting innovations that will further enhance our lives. Internet of Things (IoT) technology will enable seamless connectivity and communication between devices, creating smart homes, cities, and industries. Artificial intelligence (AI) and machine learning algorithms will power intelligent electronics that anticipate and adapt to users' needs and preferences. Sustainable and eco-friendly designs will prioritize energy efficiency, recyclability, and ethical sourcing, minimizing environmental impact and promoting responsible consumption.

Tips for Choosing Electronics

With a plethora of electronics available on the market, choosing the right device can be overwhelming. To make informed decisions, it's essential to research and compare different options based on factors such as performance, features, reliability, and price. Additionally, considering your specific needs, preferences, and budget will help narrow down your choices and ensure that you select a device that aligns with your requirements. Reading reviews and seeking recommendations from trusted sources can also provide valuable insights into the quality and performance of various electronics.

Electronics in Education

In the field of education, electronics have transformed teaching and learning, providing educators and students with powerful tools for collaboration, research, and creativity. From interactive whiteboards and tablets in the classroom to online learning platforms and educational apps, electronics have made learning more engaging, accessible, and personalized. However, challenges such as the digital divide and concerns about screen time remain, highlighting the need for equitable access to technology and responsible gadget use.

Electronics in Healthcare

In the healthcare sector, electronics have revolutionized patient care, enabling remote monitoring, diagnosis, and treatment. Medical devices such as diagnostic equipment, imaging devices, and wearable sensors provide healthcare professionals with valuable insights into patients' health status, facilitating timely interventions and personalized treatment plans. Moreover, telemedicine and remote patient monitoring technologies allow individuals to access healthcare services and consultations from the comfort of their homes, improving convenience, accessibility, and patient outcomes.

The Influence of Electronics on Work

The influence of electronics on the workplace is undeniable, with automation, robotics, and digital technologies reshaping industries and job roles. Automation systems and robots have streamlined manufacturing processes, increasing efficiency, productivity, and safety. Moreover, productivity tools and software such as project management apps, collaboration platforms, and cloud computing services have transformed how teams communicate, collaborate, and manage workflows, enabling remote work, flexible schedules, and global collaboration.

Electronics in Entertainment

Entertainment electronics have revolutionized how we consume and experience media, with gaming consoles, streaming services, and virtual reality devices offering immersive and interactive entertainment experiences. Gaming consoles such as the PlayStation and Xbox provide access to a vast library of video games, from immersive single-player adventures to competitive multiplayer experiences. Streaming services like Netflix, Hulu, and Spotify offer on-demand access to movies, TV shows, music, and podcasts, allowing users to enjoy their favorite content anytime, anywhere. Virtual reality devices such as the Oculus Rift and HTC Vive offer immersive gaming, educational, and social experiences that transport users to virtual worlds, providing new avenues for entertainment, exploration, and creativity.

Electronics and Social Interactions

Electronics have reshaped how we socialize and interact with others, with social media platforms, messaging apps, and video conferencing tools enabling seamless communication and connection. Platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter allow us to share moments, thoughts, and experiences with friends and followers around the world, fostering connections and communities across geographical boundaries. Messaging apps such as WhatsApp, Messenger, and Telegram provide instant messaging, voice calls, and video chats, allowing us to stay in touch with friends and family, regardless of distance. Moreover, video conferencing platforms like Zoom, Microsoft Teams, and Google Meet have become essential for remote work, virtual meetings, and online events, enabling teams to collaborate and connect from anywhere.

Electronics and Travel

In the realm of travel, electronics have revolutionized how we plan, navigate, and document our journeys. Navigation systems and GPS devices provide real-time directions and traffic updates, making it easier to navigate unfamiliar roads and cities. Booking platforms such as Expedia, Booking.com, and Airbnb allow us to research, compare, and book flights, accommodations, and experiences with ease. Moreover, electronics provide entertainment and connectivity on the go, with smartphones, tablets, and e-readers serving as portable entertainment hubs. Whether watching movies, listening to music, or reading e-books, these gadgets keep us entertained during long flights, train rides, or road trips.

Ethical Considerations in Electronics

While electronics offer numerous benefits and conveniences, it's essential to consider the ethical implications of their production, use, and disposal. Fair labor practices in manufacturing ensure that workers are treated ethically and paid fairly for their labor, addressing concerns about exploitative working conditions and labor rights violations in the supply chain. Additionally, responsible disposal and recycling of electronics are crucial for minimizing e-waste pollution and environmental degradation. Proper recycling and disposal methods ensure that valuable resources are recovered and reused, reducing the environmental impact of discarded electronics and promoting sustainable consumption practices.
electronics

A breakdown of the title and what it means:

• Meier: A reference to the primary name taken by the Human personage of __ias Meier, ironically meaning [REDACTED BY EMERGENCY ORDER 56] and also ironically meaning "Superior" -- secretary general of the United Nations (the Human-originated organization acting as Earth's local counterpart to the Federation of the greater galaxy, founded nearly two hectocycles ago in the wake of [REDACTED BY EMERGENCY ORDER 56]) until the [REDACTED BY EMERGENCY ORDER 56] in --- October (the rough match to an orbital period of Earth's moon that is the tenth within Earth's own orbital period, named after the number eight) --- 21st (referring to the planetary rotation that Earth was working through after the start of the aforementioned temporal unit), --- 2136 (the two thousand, one hundred and thirty sixth orbital period of Earth since a slightly miscalculated figure for the birth of [REDACTED BY EMERGENCY ORDER 56])
• is: The succeeding description applies to him, uninterrupted, to the present moment.
• the only: The succeeding description is not accurate to other characters in the narrative.
• Competent: He pursued his goals with the best use of his resources, only failing when outside factors interfered.
• Antagonist: Any knowledgeable person would have been aligned against him.
• (and why most sex scenes are not canon compliant): Terra Technologies, owner of the memory transcription technology, usually has more innocuous reasons to be selective about which memories to release from its collection of brain scans.

(This hyperthesis is a long one, so you can scroll to the bottom of the second fourth post for a less than 2000 character TL;DR.)
I'm not posting another bit, this is my unfiltered opinion of one of the most erratic characters in a story full of lunatic protagonists. Some people call this a crack theory. I can't agree, the intended reading is the crack one to me. The plot is moth-bitten if you accept Meier as a swell man that wasn't prepared for reality. And I will take you to those bites so you can know that they are scissor holes.

What are you talking about?

SecGen Meier is the local version of Wallace Breen, a delusional and all too willing accomplice to the invasion and forced transformation of Humanity into servile abominations. By the end of this thorough analysis of his actions, and the distressingly small sample of his thoughts that we read, I will demonstrate to you that he is a character belonging among the likes of Nikonus and Giznel in the annals of history, shielded from his rightful place by the Terran propaganda machine using the simple trick of never showing any bit of haughtiness or rudeness to the notoriously naive main characters.
Let's say that you are working on the fedboy hypnosis of a species. What steps do you take?

• Local powers are consolidated into a planetary government to enable later steps of the Uplift.
• The native culture is repressed in every form until you have drafted a final vision of their role in the galaxy.
• Ee-yos are globally issued to enforce galactic norms on the natives.
• The completed Uplift is finally given some measure of independence once inertia and peer pressure can be trusted to hold them in place.

And how can I show that his actions were following this model?

A case for selective transcription

This post had been a work in progress for quite some time and it's about to show in two ways. Kalsim's fate showed me that I was only right about the one which this entire theory rests upon.
The strongest argument that can be made against this whole interpretation, is the fact that we do read memory transcriptions of himself on two separate occasions, and neither displays any ulterior allegiance to Chairman Nikonus. There is obviously, no tool of investigation that is more thorough than examining the history of someone's actual thought processes. But I can show you how little that matters.
Open SpacePaladin15's patreon, in incognito mode if you're a patron, and keep scrolling down, do not close it when you're done with the following observation. The majority of Isif chapters will have a preview like "Memory Transcription Subject: [REDACTED]", excluding chapters 101, 112, 119, and 142 onwards. Convention leads us to assume that they were undisclosed for being sensitive information. BUT, the rebellion was long over by the time that Memory Transcription technology was developed, and all its structures replaced with formal counterparts, not to mention that there is information that was clandestine at the time in the 4 publicated Isif chapters among many others.
But consider the ethics of allowing anyone to see the most intimate record of someone's history, even posthumously. (Fun fact: this is how everyone in real life will be tortured after their death, good or evil. They'll invite everyone that ever interacted with you in any way to a theater where your special chair projects every second of your existence in supersensible fast motion. Punishment? Hazing? Don't be so egotistical, your comfort and dignity is only an acceptable sacrifice for the closure of others.) When publishing memory transcriptions for civilian use, you would best skip over not just the uneventful parts, but those that were private or downright shameful. Isif executes a cruelty deficient in his very first chapter, not to mention the earlier crimes against sapience he committed offscreen at the beck of Giznel or Meier. It WAS NOT hidden for galactic security, they do not want to depict memory transcription subjects as the villains of their own stories.
(Notice that Sovlin POVs cease once he made his mind to torment Marcel and they don't resume until the latter escapes. And notice again that other protagonists are never caught perpetuating the heinous practices that we know them to endorse. Forget Glim's entire line of work, do you really think that Slanek never gaslit an uplift victim, Tarva never subsidized the opening of new treatment facilities, or Noah never snitched on a history enthusiast?)
And with this in mind, notice that we never get to read his mind during the whole time that humanity is on speaking terms with the Federation. Of the three chapters featuring his POV, Chapter Five was him learning about them for the first time, and Chapters Fifty Three and Fifty Four are aftermath to the Battle of Earth. In other words, no point where he would be thinking "it's so great to be selling Humanity out to the greater galactic order".
Now, while they do admit to Meier doing something far worse than being a normal citizen of the galaxy, that was just a hard man making a hard decision. Unfortunately, even the circumstances leading to him doing the worst thing that any human has ever done, or will be capable of doing for the forseeable future, are still his fault. It would be the last nail in the coffin of his legacy if they admit that he was a part of business as usual for the Conspiracy, and he intentionally killed billions of complete innocents because of the consequences of his own actions.

Why this theory is possible

Here are some things that we can tell about the Kolshian fleet:

• The Federation navy is divided between cosmopolitan jobbers and the Kolshian Commonwealth's shadow armada. It is reasonable to assume that there is similarly secretive infrastructure to serve the other needs of the conspiracy.
• The FTL communications in particular, were of sufficient quality that Nikonus and Giznel were able to have a real time video conference.
• It is safe to assume that any species being prepared for subjugation has Shadow facilities underwater and in nearby space, for purposes of co-ordination, vehicular maintenance, and surveillance of the natives.
• We know that technology used by the Kolshian Commonwealth significantly outdoes any of their vassals in automation, security, and counterintelligence.
• The Archivists believed that the extinction of humanity was no sooner than 1974 (control-F "Farsul Abductee (1/8)" in the patreon tab that I told you to keep open). Nuclear testing already peaked by then, and regardless of how they would interpret the intentions of the act, it clearly wasn't wiping us out, so "the Cold War" is a misconception of how they misconcieved us. This means that the Conspiracy only gave up on humanity by the next major war, a century later, likely because nothing says "Kessler syndrome" like a Satellite War. -- It is possible that this impression was reinforced by the accidental destruction of monitoring bases. It is possible that some uncredited attacks were actually the self-destruct procedures of alien facilities. This bullet point wasn't actually that important because I was just making the observation that some bases had less time to degrade than you would expect which doesn't matter that much in space but I guess the mention of self destruct sequences goes against that. --- It's actually up for question if the Farsul ever believed that Humanity went extinct, they said so when their popsicle stand was blown, but lying is their entire job. Why bother with continuing to defrost humans for the creation of a Cure that you'll never be able to apply?

With this information, I can assume that Nikonus had the means to covertly contact SecGen Meier through an unsquidded vehicle before the information blackout was lifted from the Venlil Republic, and lay down exactly which actions he was supposed to take if he wanted Humanity to live. Remember also that this was all happening in the backyard of a species rightly known as a sleeping existential threat, that all but formally declared independance from the rest of the galaxy - as much of a obvious cover-up as what we're about to discuss.

How would aliens react to ee-yo-fifty-six?

Emergency Order 56 was a legal prohibition against the disclosure of "predatory" topics with aliens, ostensibly an effort to keep them from finding materials that could be used to demonize Humans, as if a photo doesn't do the trick. BainshieWrites already answered the title of this section in Predator War Uncovered - Emergency Order 56, and this section is more specifically here to question its official motive, because it was not something that he made up to downplay the competence and ethicality of the UN, it was something that SpacePaladin15 made up to downplay the competence and ethicality of the UN.
Did your mental alarms go off when I said predatory? Recall how the list of applicable topics grew throughout the story in a way that could be used to make the world's most confusing Bob Parr slideshow. It does not mean threatening, it doesn't even mean carnivorous, it means anything that would challenge their worldview.

• A list of ways that Humans may develop inherent inclinations to conflict with society.
• The animal motifs that we use since childhood (the "animal loving" Marcel wouldn't elucidate Slanek to the idea of safe interactions with carnivorous animals until the antichrist needed guard dogs)
• Any knee-level or deeper lore of a Human religion (ostensibly just proselytism, but both sides have motivation to blur the lines between preaching and satisfying curiousity)
• A digestive imbalance in humans that most overcome by eating meat, and the horrifying consequences of leaving it unchecked. (This is information that was being denied even to Governess Tarva until a global tragedy that was brought about by keeping it a secret)

“You have been starving from eating plants?” I squeaked.
Meier breathed a frustrated sigh. “Humans are omnivores, Tarva, as we have told you many times. The nutrients in vegetables are quite accessible to us.”
“That said, without animal products, we usually develop serious mineral deficiencies,” Noah interjected, sensing my next question. “Vegetarians need supplements or fortified foods: B12, iron, protein, and so on. This has been explained to your medical community.”
Undoubtedly, it was easier to absorb those nutrients through dietary means. At least the Terrans could survive on vegetation, with a little help. The Arxur couldn’t derive any nutritional value from plants, even if they wanted to. I didn’t know why zero scientists, here or in the Federation, had figured that out.
“So it’s not about bloodlust at all. I get the point, I think,” I sighed. “What do you want to do about the grays’ story?”

Much as you love to accuse background racists of being brainwashed idiots - like I'm one to talk with a title like this - let's use empathy for a moment, theory of mind, not just being nice to sad people. Here is what is happening on Venlil Prime:

The Governess has thrown her lot in with an alien race that has a universally attested history of depravity. The latter will confirm but not elaborate on this history, in fact they are morally obligated to attest it with everyone else.
But they refuse to elaborate. This would have just been a case of collective shame if they weren't equally secretive about their current state of affairs, including their daily lives. The information that they will give either drops in clarity at alarming and suggestive frequencies in its coverage of both the past and present, or suspiciously outdoes less infamous cultures at conforming to your idea of civilization. There is a grim precedent for the sort of secrets they could be keeping from everyone, but others will tell you to "think for yourself" when you point at the worrisome data.
And it's always a backhanded appeal to your sense of pride when someone says that. Yet you are noticing, more than ever, that people really don't think for themselves at large, and the secretive warmongerers are exploiting their blind trust in the government through vague assurances that these newcomers have totally changed for the better. From unspeakable, to still unspeakable. The set of possible secrets is infinitely longer than just the ones that are shocking but ultimately acceptable as consequences of a different evolutionary foundation, and you know that they have already strayed far out of the latter category.

Look, I'm sorry. It is shitbrained to have any trust in a species that feels the need for this law. Typically, there are one between three reasons in NoP that someone has chosen to reap the benefits of a brain-crackingly stupid policy, either they do not know better because they were lobotomized by outside influences, their mental facilities atrophied from centuries of political omnipotence, or it worked so it isn't stupid no matter how much we complain. It achieved nothing except to preserve drama, so we can rule that last one out.
But Humans do know better. That's their entire edge in the story. It makes no sense in PR terms to do this when your dirtiest of laundry is being aired out by the heart of civilized space. But if you, the author of this law, actually share an agenda with the Shadow Caste, then it's the perfect trident for roasting your marshmallows. First, it produces the impression that virtuous Humans still need to be unburdened of their current circumstances. Second, it complicates the ability of Human culture to flee a genocide. Third, it protects the galactic consensus in the topics of nature, of predators, and of Humans, from being challenged by their observations.
And speaking again about achieving nothing. Haysi's 'Pure Evil' exhibit stayed up, even unmolested, in the very capital of Venlil Prime for the entire time that he was alive. We know that Tarva knew about this, it might have even been her introduction to the Human race. And she had the ability to follow her interest in taking this slander down. If not from the totalitarian powers that she displayed at the very start of the story, or from the fact that it was most likely public property, then how about Sam's ability to get away with what amounted to very polite vandalism? Tarva must have told some flat nailed biped about it, and one has to assume that this creature told her not to worry about it.
In the end, this officially self-inflicted restriction serves much of the same purpose as the way that recent uplifts are marginalized and postured over. We can assume that every world government, most recently Leirn, started out with laws concerning resistance to modernization that were enforced in similar circumstances.
Special mention should be given to one of the few biological features that were censored; the idea that our hunting strategy made us into an excellent labor force. The galaxy is only fascist in the sense of "the government is being mean :(", and has more of a neoliberal inclination [lie]when predators are taken out of the picture[/lie]. So if anything, it would have given a profit motive to the acceptance of the Human race. If you think that it was just going to brand the Terran work ethic as predatory, that's first a backwards chain of causality, it's predatory because Humans are involved; and second, the official narrative said that Human sociality was predatory under your logic.
However, consider how some amount of 'declawing' was likely to go into our version of the Cure.
They'd never Cure the Human capability for close bonds since imagine proposing that nonsense at the Cure labs and the Behavioral Sink would have done that without need for high tech meddling. Humans were not just personally kinder to the aliens because the survival of their species depended on their best behavior, they couldn't emotionally tell that the aliens were people thus embarassing to care about. In time, this opening in their own kind of artificial callousness would have healed, as both civilizations demanded (and continue to demand), through the integration of alien intelligence into Human norms. This will still happen, the disease of the symptoms has not been treated, apathy will continue to kill the galaxy.
On the other paw, it's much easier to write a takedown order of Human persistence without being spaced into Talsk's hadopelagic zone. If the galaxy knows that our physical heart, not the metaphorical, is a hunting tool, that's something they can announce a Cure for without much more controversy, easily drumming the masses up to demand it before anyone can feel safe around the Children of Planet Earth. And there goes our economic edge in the Federation (in it, not over it, you maniac). It's best if they just think that they need to genetically shave our canines.

Loose lips sink ships but tight ones raze planets

As I mentioned with the Tarva example, all information covered under this law is only spread on a need to know basis, even with leaders that are notorious for their faith in Humanity. But you'd need some sort of consultant for navigating the Federation's 'predator' anticoncept - yet any remotely loyal citizen of the Venlil Republic would be passing the worst of it to their own government, which is exactly what they are trying to prevent. Venlil indiscretion has been as much of a driving force for the story as Human...something. Stars above, this order can not be enforced with any loyalty to the people that you love.
So either they were working on oddly accurate guesswork or their consultants were just more tight lipped than they had any reason to be, or they were using consultation disguised as guesswork. There is no reason that the Conspiracy would wager all the progression of an Uplift on one person, see how the archives were a pan-species effort to everyone that entered their place in the galaxy.
But that hasn't come to fruition yet, so Meier and his colluders had been answering directly to Nikonus, and some silly doggies were ripping their furs out because they're locked out of the loop for anything relevant to the projected zombie apocalypse, and can't even begin to crack the code themselves when any acknowledgment of a nutritional need for meat would be treasonous under the United Nations.
None of that is Meier's fault, there was no way for him to know that it was happening. Although he caused it to happen; and could have prevented it if he had aspirations beyond herding people into ever bigger blobs; the exact factors were out of left field. The archive experiments are not something to be admitted to a third degree Fedboy Hypnotist, and the Hunger incidents were kept as a secret even from the Kolshian Commonwealth. Meier would have just truthfully told Old Nick that forced veganism was a bridge that we were able to cross, save some resistance from those who were...how does that go..."too arrogant". He doesn't know that he needs to give an explanation to other parties why some people were contracting physically lethal cases of predator disease once they were civilized.

It is a common misconception that Meier is the only Human to have a canonical memory transcription.

The wrinkles on Meier’s face were taut with sympathy. “But please let me correct that statement: you did not kill her. You chose not to prolong her suffering, because you’re a selfless, kind person.”

Can I get an opinion of this line from someone that understands Human emotion? It's easy to imagine myself saying it before I take all of my clothes off for a walk into the thruster engines, but I'm not a Venlil Prime Extermination Guild certified Good One like Meier (and which of you here wouldn't commit chicken dinner to clean out the taste of such a commendation?), so I could be ignorant that it would be [squints at teleprompter]...a true...[mumbles into earpiece]...[takes something from assistant] Ritz© moment [waves box around]. So does he know that nothing wins a Fedboy over like dismissing their guilt, or does she take anything that resembles an attempt at consolation? Could Meier have done the same thing by gurgling in a concilatory tone? We are talking about the same woman that locked down lightyears of space over a hug.
But if we skip to the end of his story for a little bit, there is one line of hers that can't be explained by the conventional narrative, at all.

[Censored] Meier had dedicated himself to virtue and the pursuit of peace to the last. Every temptation pushed him the opposite direction, but he was true to his beliefs.

Really. Really. Out of everything there is to deny about the whale in the chinchilla cage, are people really going to say that it wasn't any instance of yielding to the temptation to kill? And Governess Tarva wouldn't just forget about that. No one would be able to enter her position without keeping awareness of such actions and their ramifications. No one can do those things without permanently tainting an onlooker's image of them, either, that's why this post exists!
There is room to argue that these words were put into her proverbial mouth, since the story periodically switches to using italicized paragraphs, an indication of being an internal monologue. As if the rest of the narration isn't, and many 'thoughts' were just an attempt of the transcriptors to put their drives and emotions to words, just like with the visual imagery of the scanned brain, and this time, they went overboard wiping his butt. We can rely on Terra Technologies to have no conflicts of interest when documenting Terran atrocities. And with that in mind, isn't it interesting that our second layer of unreliable narration idealizes codependance of both polity and person, the cause of all problems in this story? Perhaps this is why they never rebuked biocalvinism in the case of Arxur non-defects. Any proof that predapaths can have productive, harmless lives would mean showing how to give moral inclinations to those that were resistant to the traditional means of this, and that means that employees of this alarming gigacorp have to play by the same rules as everyone else in this galaxy.
And just like that, this thought is immediately followed by an example of an internal monologue.

[Censored] will be missed. He was a true leader, willing to do whatever was necessary. He dreamed big; there was so much he could’ve offered humanity.

This isn't the same sort of an outright delusion, as it's just an opinion. A stupid one, but the kind of stupid to expect from the combination between apathy and naiveté that Tarva has been raised into. Same vein as the non-reaction that many had towards the Kolshian Commonwealth's genetic intrusion, cultural genocide, and colluding with Arxur to destroy the homeworlds of Federation members.
And to make more counter-criticism of the way that aliens behave in this story, this aspect of the narration exonerates them from a lot of oblivious comments ascribed to the depths of their minds. They literally did not know what they were thinking. Our self awareness is mostly limited to that which we're setting ourselves to commit our own physical beings towards. This is why the Human system as much of a leap in insidiousness over the Kolshian system as the latter were over the Arxur system, since it does a better job at hiding the injury that your compliance brings. The story of Kalsim is that empathy is no replacement for a moral code, it is simply the bodily function to model other people's mental states. If you start treating empathy as a synonym for morality, you'll spare anyone with the luck to be in front of you, whether they're Arjun or Kalsim, while continuing with the eradication of everyone that couldn't stimulate your mirror neurons.
But I decline the possibility that Tarva's first thought was an oblivious moment of idealization, when those actions should still have a weight on her subconscious idea of him.
I might have to move to Wriss after ending this lecture. The personality disorder assessor can finally detain me for lovebombing and a chemical lobotomy if she has sufficient grounds to pile Schizotypalism on top of my Oppositional-Defiant diagnosis. The prior sorcery allegations had been a joke for the purposes of all conversations with her, but I don't think that I can keep saying so when I have evidence that he was using mesmerism on Tarva.
That's not insanity, I'll tell you what is insanity: accusing Terra Technologies of directly lying to cover up for the brood parasite. They can downplay, hide, simplify, mistranslate, but never lie. There is no more meaning in this subject if we allow ourselves to reject the text. If that can be thrown out, anything else can, and there goes all shared ground for the 'reality' suggested by chapters of The Nature of Predators.
So Meier has to be a literal hypnotist that used unnatural means to repress, but not erase, inconvenient memories of Tarva's. It's that, or he was already gave her the impression that he'd, well...

You remember how several years ago, biotechs were all the rage, and then they just kind of died out? A lot of them didn't die out, it just takes a really long time to do the due diligence required to bring drugs to market, and we are starting to see some of those companies emerge from the ashes. Enter Immunity Bio. Please forgive this long post.
This is a deep dive. I would not dare insult your intelligence. There have been a couple posts on this stock already, but I feel like none of them do justice to why ANKTIVA, the drug recently approved by the FDA for bladder cancer treatment in concert with Bacillus Calmette-Guerin (BCG), is a big deal from a technical perspective, as well as a financial perspective. Let me elucidate.
First, some context. In 2020 a study was released by the National Cancer Institute estimating the annual financial burden of cancer treatment to be around 209 billion dollars in the US. Why do we spend so much treating it? Because cancer fucking kills. Heart disease overtook cancer as leading cause of death globally, but cancer is a close second. So, cancer is a big deal. We all probably know someone who has gotten cancer, or maybe even passed away from cancer. Rest in peace.
Of the various types of cancer, speaking only of the US, breast cancer has the highest annual rate of diagnosis, followed by prostate, then lung, and eventually—number 6—bladder cancer, with around 83,000 new cases every year. Around 16840 people die from it in the US annually. Globally speaking, bladder cancer is the 10th leading cause of cancer in the world. Approximately 573,000 new cases a year globally. Around 212000 people die from it globally, on an annual basis.
We don’t want those people to die. Or at least I don’t want those people to die. So what are the treatment options?
Current treatments: There is no cure for cancer—yet. Our best attempt at treating cancer involves a multi-faceted approach with many variables: patient’s age, patient’s overall health, how pervasive is the cancer—more commonly what stage is it in, the mitotic rate (rate of growth) of the tumor, drug allergies/restrictions, chance of recurrence, the list goes on. Chemotherapy as a treatment, for example, is common knowledge at this point. It basically involves flooding the patient’s body with a cocktail of harsh drugs that target and kill dividing cells. Since cancerous cells grow and divide at a much faster rate than other cells, on average, they also die at a much faster rate from chemo. Unfortunately though, the rest of our cells also divide (some a lot, like hair follicles). Chemo does not discriminate, that’s why chemo hurts. Here is a good ELI5.
For bladder cancer, I will just list the various treatment modalities available. Some are done in tandem. Some are done in lieu of. Treatment methodologies can vary widely from patient to patient for the aforementioned reasons, and can change as the disease progresses or regresses. This is not financial advice, and this is sure as shit not medical advice:
TURBT: First line of defense. This is an operation where they go into your bladder with a tool and destroy the abnormal tissue. Usually outpatient. Considered non-invasive. High rate of recurrence post operation.
Cystectomy: This is a radical surgery in which they just cut the bladder out. It’s not uncommon. If the cancer shows signs of invading neighboring tissue or muscle, eg metastasizing, they don’t fuck around. However, this surgery is harsh. ~7% mortality rate flat out. Reduced quality of life. A study showed that your 5-year survival rate post surgery is between 54.5%-68%.
Chemotherapy: Previously described
Radiation: Targeted radiation works similarly to chemo in that it targets cells that divide rapidly. Harsh side effects as well.
Immunotherapy: Our immune system does not like cancer. It would kill it if it could, but often it can’t. Immunotherapy drugs can give our natural immune system the upper-hand. This is known as immunotherapy treatment. One of the best things about immunotherapy treatment: it’s kind of like teaching a person how to fish, as opposed to giving them a fish. It has been shown that your body becomes more naturally resistant to developing cancer in the future, post immunotherapy treatment. That’s great, because cancer often returns (See TURBT). Chemo and radiation don’t have this effect. They work when they are present, but when they are gone, your body is left wrecked, with an often weakened immune system (See Chemo/radiation kill cells that divide), and if the cancer comes back (and it often does), those treatments come back.
So let’s discuss immunotherapy treatments. There are several drugs on the market that are currently used for immunotherapy treatment to fight bladder cancer, and other forms of cancer. The most commonly prescribed is Bacillus Calmette-Guerin, or BCG, and ngl, it’s fucking awesome. Side note, it is our only vaccine against tuberculosis, dating back to 1921. Then, in the 1970s, it was discovered to be an effective treatment for bladder cancer. Originally approved in 1976 for immunotherapy, it was one of the first ever immunotherapy drugs to be utilized, and the first immunotherapy drug to be utilized for bladder cancer. However, it isn’t perfect. %20has%20been%20the%20standard,develop%20recurrence%20of%20their%20cancer)For whatever reason, ~30-40% of patients either don't respond to it or become resistant to it%20has%20been%20the%20standard,develop%20recurrence%20of%20their%20cancer). Some studies show an unresponsiveness as high as 70%. So it works great, unless it doesn’t, and then you are one step closer to losing your bladder, and/or the prospect of chemotherapy/radiation on and off, hoping that the cancer doesn’t return.
There are other drugs at this point that are often used in tandem with, or independent of, BCG. Those are: Durvalumab (AstraZeneca), Avelumab (Merck), Nivolumab (Bristol-Myers Squibb), and Pembrolizumab (AKA Keytruda) (Merck). The effectiveness for these drugs are often measured by two metrics: PFS (Progression free survival, eg how long the patient goes after treatment before the cancer resumes/returns), and their ORR%20is%20the%20assessment%20of,end%2Dpoint%20in%20clinical%20trials) or CR. ORR means overall response rate, or the more impressive metric, CR which stands for complete remission or complete response. ORCR describe how many people basically respond to the drug positively, eg cancer shrinks (ORR) or disappears (CR). Here are the results from their own clinical trial papers:
Durvalumab - Clinical trials done in tandem with radiation therapy. CR 54.5%, with 71.5% enjoying PFS after one year.
Avelumab - ORR varied depending on age group, but best performance 25%, with most people having PFS of 5.7 months
Nivolumab - CR rate 21.7% versus 11.8% with chemo alone. A median 22 months PFS, or 52 months if your tumor expresses the PD-L1 protein.
Pembrolizumab and (aka Keytruda) - CR 41%, PFS 42% after 6 months.
Enter ANKTIVA, which hasn’t even been listed yet on the Urology Care Foundation, that’s how new it is - CR 71% median CR duration 26.6 months. 96% of people who had complete remission, continue to have no disease after 24 months. This is when given in tandem with BCG.
ANKTIVA + BCG seems to be the clear winner in the immunotherapy contest for bladder cancer.
Did you see the names associated with those drugs? Let’s take a closer look, $MRK for example, Market cap 324.89 billion. Annual sales revenue, ~60.11B. How much of that is Keytruda (See Pembrolizumab above)? Approximately 20B these are 2022 numbers. That is a whole ⅓ of Merck’s sales revenue. Now now, Keytruda has a long established use pipeline that is true. It is also FDA approved for other forms of immunotherapy cancer treatment, not just bladder.
So, while ANKTIVA seems to be first in class for bladder cancer treatment, better than Keytruda even, It’s too bad it can’t treat other forms of cancer…. Right?…… Immunotherapy drugs are not necessarily cancer specific. Some work with various forms of cancer (see Keytruda). Currently ANKTIVA is in Phase 2 clinical trials for the treatment of: Lung Cancer, Colon Cancer, Ovarian Cancer, Acute Myeloid Leukemia, Glioblastoma. ANKTIVA is in Phase 1 clinical trials for: Advanced Solid Tumors, Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma, annnnd HIV. Okay well, Phase 2 clinical trials for lung cancer, whatever. How do the results look like for that study? They seems promising, but results for ongoing clinical trials are typically not made public. I wish that I had all the answers, sorry. However, Immunity Bio has a web conference scheduled with the FDA in June to discuss the path to registration filing of ANKTIVA + other drugs as treatment for lung cancer. Given ANKTIVA’s bladder cancer results, I would not be surprised if they move forward with registration.
Let’s do some numbers. What did Immunity Bio bring in last year for sales revenue? A whole 0.62 million. That's right ladies and gentleman, 620 thousand dollars. How much did Keytruda bring in for Merck again? Oh yeah, 20 fucking billion dollars. How about the other drugs that ANKTIVA seems to best (at least in bladder cancer immunotherapy treatment).
Durvalumab (Imfinzi) - 4.24 billion
Avelumab (Bavencio) - 800 million
Nivolumab (Opdivo) - 1.2 billion
So ANKTIVA passed FDA approval and can now be prescribed (As of last week). Too bad they have to ramp up production right? Wrong. ANKTIVA is expected to be made available in the US by mid May.
But, but, but, the FDA only approved ANKTIVA for the treatment of bladder cancer when prescribed in concert with BCG. Does ANKTIVA also make BCG? It will probably have trouble sourcing it! Wrong again! In recent news, the Serum Institute of India agreed on an exclusive arrangement with Immunity Bio for global supply of bacillus calmette-guerin BCG across all cancer types.
Where do we go from here? To the moon of course ladies and gentleman, but before that, IBRX executive Chariman Dr. Patrick Soon-Shiong will discuss the ANKTIVA approval at a fireside chat at the Annual Conference of the American Urological Association. That’s right girls and boys, a bunch of pee pee doctors are meeting in San Antonio this fucking weekend, and little old IBRX will be on stage sharing ANKTIVA’s newly minted FDA approval for its best in class drug, and discussing the success of its trials.
TLDR; IBRX immunotherapy cancer treatment drug ANKTIVA proves to be best in class among other heavy hitting drugs like Keytruda (MRK), Bavencio (MRK), Imfinzi (AstraZeneca) and Opdivo (Bristol Myers Squibb). Is also in Phase 2 clinical trials for lung cancer, ovarian cancer, colon cancer, acute myeloid leukemia, and glioblastoma. Scheduled to start being prescribed in the US by mid May. 2023 revenue for IBRX: 0.6 million. Potential revenue once ANKTIVA gets going, between 50 million and 900 million. Either way, a lot more than 600 thousand dollars.
If you read to the end I really appreciate it. I put a lot of effort into this DD. Thank you.

Hello everyone. This is going to be a full fledged guide including everything you might need. Even if you have read my previous guide, still read it full. I promise it would be worth it.
This guide includes, How to prepare for CAT (in detail, with all resources), a little about profile in B schools, what to buy from where, how to do it for free, how to analyse your mock tests, how much do you need to spend if you want coaching, and mistakes to avoid in your cat preparation journey.
Disclaimer: This post is not sponsored by any coaching institute and contains insights from many friends who scored 98%ile+. Can't reveal their identity but thanks to them :)
There are two things with respect to getting a good B school. The first one is your profile, and the second is the Cat Preparation. I'll quickly go over profile and then take up cat preparation in detail. Profile includes your 10th, 12th, graduation, category, academic Background and gender. If you haven't accessed your profile yet, you can either go for CL's B school Profilizer. It would tell you the percentile you would require for all B schools.
https://www.careerlauncher.com/cat-mba/profilize
Remember, this is an approximation, and errors may exist. Also, this is anyway the minimum required. Let's say it says you need 99.2%ile for IIM Calcutta, in that case, (assuming it to be 100% accurate) it means that if you score a 99.2 percentile and get selected, you are the last person on the list to get selected. So always aim higher than your required percentile. I suggest focusing on maximizing your cat score. 99 marks out of 198 should be your target, regardless of how good or bad your profile is.
Important Note: Salespeople from CL would call you if you use this feature. Please be mindful.
There's another way to assess your profile, where you need not trust what some coaching institute is telling you. I have explained it in detail in earlier post. You can check it out, after you read this guide. I'll attach a link in the end.
Now coming to elephant in the room, the cat preparation. I will give you two approaches. One is at the minimum cost possible preparation to still get 99.5%ile+. The other one is the best possible preparation at optimum cost. You can choose based on your budget. You can score a 99.5%ile+ with both the approaches. I divide the cat preparation into 4 parts.
A. Gaining Knowledge in VARC B. Gaining Knowledge in DILR C. Gaining Knowledge in Quants D. Gaining ability to handle stress during mock tests.
Here, Knowledge doesn't refer to syllabus or formulas but rather the overall ability to come to the right answer in a time bound manner.
A. Gaining Knowledge In VARC
Now starting with VARC, I know what I am telling you because I scored 99.15 in Cat22 in VARC and 99.57 in Cat23 in VARC. Moreover, I have taken insights from other varc 99%ilers I know, so you can trust this.
if you can afford, buy VARC1000. It costs 5 to 6k and after mocks, if there's anything you should spend money on, it's varc1000.
People think of VARC as English, but it's more logical than English. It is about understanding exactly what an argument says and exactly what it doesn't say. Of course you need to start with what an argument is. That's where the concept lessons of VARC1000 really come in handy.
One mistake people make with VARC1000 is, they watch it like a movie. No. You have to make notes of EACH LECTURE. I cannot emphasize this point enough. Making notes of VARC1000 is one of the most crucial things you would do. It's May. You will forget what you watched by August. You need notes. And you need self made notes. Not taken from anywhere. My notes of the entire varc1000 were only 25-30 pages long. So it's not a lot of work. But it is absolutely crucial.
The second mistake is, passively attempting tests in VARC1000. So in VARC1000, you give a test before you watch the class. That's how it is structured. Many people just click on the test and don't really try to attempt it seriously. They are like, "I will practice later. Just give me knowledge now I'm making notes". Again a very bad approach and it would definitely not help you, because you would never be able to absorb those lectures completely.
The third mistake is, they think since they are watching VARC1000 and giving tests also, this compensates for reading aeon essays. No it doesn't. You have to read aeon essays separately. (I'll explain this part later in detail too)
Now, what if you can't shell out 5-6k for VARC1000. No need to lose hope, there's a way. It's a little more difficult, so do it only if you can absolutely not afford it.
Watch this playlist by Gejo Sir (same teacher who teaches VARC1000)
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLj8E34obZYU0fcfUjtbIsNnD8RKY17Z-r&si=c_cS-tqGOg1r9P8f
Followed by this playlist by Gejo Sir
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLj8E34obZYU0sxwpe8w7ZLN6PlzLcMtqs&si=4AK_nCnpb96wEgvb
And finally, you can also pirate VARC1000. I have seen it pirated in a telegram group but that group got banned so I don't have a link. But if you can find it, you can use it. It's not a substitute for buying but something is better than nothing.
Important Note 2: Do not pirate VARC1000 if you can afford it because the paid version is so much better. You get a lot of things in it, which you would not get pirated to no matter what you do. Most important of them being sectional tests and other tests, which you won't get in full in pirate. Also, sectional tests of VARC1000 cannot be compensated by sectional tests from elsewhere. Think of them as part of the course and not just a sectional test.
Now where do you practice VARC questions. There are plenty of ways. First start with everything you get in VARC1000. If you are not buying VARC1000, skip this part. Then solve all previous year CAT papers of all slots. You can see yourself how far back you would like to go, but go at least till 2016. Then you can solve TIME's material for VA and RC. I'll attach a Google drive link at the end of this post. (Thanks to my friend who made it. Can't identify)
After doing this much, You are pretty much left with sectional tests and mock tests only. And that should suffice as far as practice of questions is concerned.
Now, here comes the third part of VARC preparation (after varc1000 and question practice) It is, reading essays from Aeon. It goes simultaneously. You should start doing it yesterday. Many people would advise you to read Newspapers/Novels etc but Aeon essays are your best friend. Smithsonian is good too but Aeon is best in business to practice.
Everyday, read an aeon essay like it's your religion. It might take 20 to 30 minutes to read an entire essay. But you have to read. And don't think, "Oh this is a 5000 word essay CAT passage is 500 word let me read it half or 1/5th etc" No. Read it full. Understand the entire essay. From top to bottom. This is especially important if you are not that person from ICSE who reads as a hobby since 6th class. Most of us are not. So this is your kryptonite, Mjolnir or Action Kamen Action Beam.
It is very very very very important to make sure you are understanding the passage you are reading.
Pro Tip: You can read this while commuting/shitting/in lunch break
Rest there's also vocabulary but I don't suggest preparing for vocabulary. My own English vocabulary is quite pathetic. The same is suggested by Gejo Sir so you will find it out in VARC1000/those YouTube sessions. If you want me to explain why no vocabulary, let me know if comments and I will, but in that case I'll just be repeating what Gejo sir says.
B. Gaining Knowledge in DILR
DILR is something you would never be able to complete. Even 99%ilers in DILR can't complete it. So your aim here is to maximize your score.
Now at this point, If you can afford coaching, please go for either rodha or elite grids, whichever suits you better. For DILR Elite Grids is slightly better but for quants Rodha is slightly better, and either of these coaching institutes can help you score 99.5%ile+ in both these sections.
However, If you cannot afford coaching, Here's my entire self study strategy for DILR (and for quants later)
DILR has two parts, DI and LR (obviously) , But in CAT, a single question may contain both DI and LR. So while you need to start with easy things to build your basic DI and LR aptitude, eventually you need to start solving Cat level questions.
To do DI, certain chapters from quants are a pre-requisite. These are
Speed of Calculation Time Speed Distance Ratio and Proportion Mixture and Allegations Number System (in some cases) Permutation and Combination Arithmetic Progression (in some cases)
So my advice is, prepare for LR first, while simultaneously preparing for these chapters (we will see how to prepare for these when we discuss quants)
Go through this entire playlist on Rodha's channel. Listen to all the videos.
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLG4bwc5fquzhDp8eqRym2Ma1ut10YF0Ea&si=PIHG9znxxzLJ7Xh-
Some hygiene factors to take care of while doing this playlist.

1. Try to solve the question before watching the solution, otherwise you would never learn. Don't keep time limits initially. Just say, "I won't watch the solution until I solve it no matter how much time it takes".
   
2. You will come across some things that you will realise are important or recurring. Make a note of these things. Yes you need to make notes of DILR too. Don't put entire questions there, just some key information or some main points that you think are important.
   

This playlist would help you get accustomed with all sorts of questions in DILR. After this playlist. Solve all previous year CAT papers of DILR. Now you should be able to solve a few of them at least.
After this, if there is some particular type that worries you, like venn diagrams or games and tournaments, go through the Time Material of that chapter (attached below). But only if you want to practice a particular type. Otherwise going through the entire material is not recommended.
Next in line, here is a playlist of 200 sets. Initial 10-15 sets are easy but from there onwards, all sets are of CAT level only. Solve this entire playlist and you would be good to go for the "solving" part of DILR.
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgdxDqtv4Gt-4vXeT_OuiwJ7-jBujAEru&si=F6F2F09NuZTtMoPE
But there's another part of DILR which is set selection. This is something you can only learn by practice and by giving sectional and mock tests. There's no other way. I'll cover more about this when we discuss mock tests.
C. Gaining Knowledge in Quants.
Now coming to the quant section. This is a section I hated the most. I thought I would never be able to excel in quants. Cat22, I could not clear the quant sectional cut off (74%ile) and had to repeat. Cat23 was a quant massacre, And I had slot 3 so I knew what was coming up. I panicked. Yet I got my shit together and scored a 91.97 %ile. I wasn't really happy because I thought I could cross the 98%ile barrier this time in Cat. But then came XAT24, infamous for its tough quants. Scored a 99.4%ile in quants in XAT. So for all non engineers out there, yes it's purely practice and nothing else. You can do it if and only if you don't give up.
Again I'll mention, If you can afford coaching, please go for either rodha or elite grids, whichever suits you better. For DILR Elite Grids is slightly better but for quants Rodha is slightly better, and either of these coaching institutes can help you score 99.5%ile+ in both these sections.
Now if you can't afford coaching or have enrolled in a coaching institute you are not satisfied with, here's the strategy. Quants is perhaps the easiest to make a strategy for. Because it's very mechanical. Way more than DILR and VARC. Here I am giving you a Rodha link for the entire Quant syllabus. Yes it's an old link but don't worry about that, concepts remain the same. You can score a 99.5%ile+ with this link.
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLG4bwc5fquzgfMh4YFDnv7fttM0RIKiUQ&si=ixr7IqyvvXXluv6N
The videos you watch, you need to make notes (should be obvious at this point) and please try to solve questions before watching solutions (again obvious). But should you watch the entire playlist in one go? No. That's where DILR and quant differ. Here's how you do it.
Step 1: Pick a chapter. Anyone you want. Let's say Time Speed and Distance. Watch all the videos of time speed and distance, and make notes.
Step 2: Open Time Material (would be attached in the end of the post) and open the time speed distance chapter. It would have notes. Read those notes and note the new things you find in your notes.
Step 3: Solve all the questions (there would be plenty) from that material. Match your answer with the answer key.
Step 4: For the questions you did wrong, don't immediately go to the solution and try to solve them again at least once. Mostly you would find silly mistakes. Note those silly mistakes you do, so you can go over and see exactly what you need to be mindful of. Everyone has some silly mistakes they do subconsciously. Like for me, it was 6 × 7 = 56. I can't tell you how embarrassing that is but that's why it's a "silly" mistake.
Step 5: Check the solution of the questions you couldn't solve and see why you couldn't solve it. There's a separate solution pdf in the material where solutions are given. Feel free to use this community if you can't understand a solution.
Step 6: Make a list of important questions. Questions that gave you trouble. Make sure you put one question of each type in the list. This is very important. You would be solving 100-150 questions per chapter. You need a list of 15-30 questions from that, such that next time if you solve those 30 questions, it would be equivalent to solving 150. This is the most important part of the entire practice. Otherwise you will just forget. I used to call them "Godsheets" Don't use anyone else's godsheet. It would only help you if you have created it yourself. Its only advantage is the fact that it has to be personalized to you.
P.S. I don't think anyone would do this but just in case, don't sit and write questions. Just make a list of question numbers. And if you like to be more organised (like me) just use the snipping tool and paste images of those questions in a doc file.
After you are done with the rodha playlist and Time Material (it's already a lot and you should already be scoring good in mocks, given you get the "selection" part right. But in case you want more practice. Also, will explain "selection" part when we talk about mocks.)
You can go through the following playlist and solve questions. Except few initially, all of them are again CAT level,
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgdxDqtv4Gt-i5Z8m_LIe25WMpuTOncfG&si=vpQ9pYy73j21sbor
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgdxDqtv4Gt91BVU355IrbiiTIC8-db4x&si=0aSi5CqRnlSRA4p9
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgdxDqtv4Gt-t3quvkCEXh7yaWFytN4k4&si=FCvl8_we4n9JAV9x
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgdxDqtv4Gt-8nj90SZs0JYLEIfil2ToP&si=VHF_G6CN9I5eGu8A
These are another 1000+ questions for you to do, along with video solutions. This should suffice. I would be surprised if someone tells me they are done with it and need more material, because if you give 50 mocks, you are solving a 1000 quant questions there too. And another 200 DILR sets as well.
D. Gaining ability to handle stress during mock tests.
Now before I begin with mock tests. There is something called Daily Dose on career launcher where they give you some tests daily. Do that as well. I'm mentioning here because tests are from all 3 sections and I didn't know where else to mention them. They are given as part of the test series itself.
Now coming to mock tests. There are a few major things you need to learn from giving mock tests.

1. which questions to attempt and which questions to leave. This is very important and strategy differs in all sections.

In VARC, you must attempt all four RCs. No you can not go with preconceived notions of attempting 2 or 3 RCs. In the beginning, if that is happening because your reading speed is slow, that's okay but you need to increase the speed in that case. In DILR, attempting two sets means a 99%ile so selection becomes very important there. This is something you will only learn by giving mocks. Similarly in quants you need to select quickly if you are going to attempt that question or not.
Now to learn this selection in quant and DILR, the best guy is Gautam Puri (GP sir) from Career Launcher. He calls it "Jugaad" You can learn it from the analysis videos of the CL mock test series and this I believe is the best part of CL mock tests. Helped me so much in quant and DILR, both of which were not my forte to begin with.

1. The second thing to learn from mocks is handling stress and uncertainty. It would make you habitual of sitting focused for two hours at a stretch. It would make you deal with situations like someone making a noise and yet you are concentrating (because you can't be sure you would get pin drop silence in the exam all the time) It would give you the ability to stay calm in next sectional even if your previous sectional doesn't go good. Like let's say your dilr didn't go good, you should not carry that in quants section.
   
2. It acts as a diagnosis and tells you what are your strengths and which weaknesses you need to work on, so you can plan accordingly. This requires you to analyse the mock test well (and this is the most important part of the mock test.) If you have not analysed a mock test, it is equivalent to not giving the mock test at all. I am attaching a few resources on how to analyse mock tests.
   

https://youtu.be/gYYiZ-twjuQ?si=y0FuRJwg_QuVDhIc This is a video by Ravi Prakash sir (rodha) when he was in Unacademy.
https://youtu.be/f3CuZUJsSQk?si=sBFD5DNoS9GBy-55
Another video by him. Most of the content is same but just attaching it because you would need it during your preparation (Trust me)
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgdxDqtv4Gt88CT291J6Z9mU2w7YbSE6i&si=Wi5-Sn75Vhb8DYNI
This is by Anantasis Shankar. Again a great source.
https://youtu.be/zfV5zkNtF3w?si=Ns4FzQNXAWFRhrVA
This is by Gejo. A beautiful perspective. This is a must watch for all of you.
https://youtu.be/rqvcAfnFC-8?si=EMguZKs3UlBWY1lT
This is specifically for VARC section. By Gejo and GP. Again very good.
https://youtu.be/aWXUd9Bu0SM?si=dE18wlYpkVgXttwY
This is specifically for QA section, By Gejo and GP.
For DILR, best approach is to show you how to analyse the mock test you have done yourself so you will find in test series itself.
You must be thinking why so many resources for the same thing. Trust me you need them. Analysing is the biggest pain point of all serious aspirants. Because that's something you have never really done before. In all exams, you either know the answer, or you don't know the answer, or you don't recall. But in this exam, you don't even know whether you know the answer or not. That is why analysing is both very important and very annoying.
And now the reddit word limit per post is about to end. I'm not done yet. There are a few more things I would like to share with you all. (and ofcourse the time material I mentioned)
I'll post that in Part 2 of this guide. I'm going to post it immediately so by the time you would be reading this, it is already posted and you will find a link below.
Edit: https://www.reddit.com/CAT2MBA/s/7SLkh89InU
Link to part 2
Please suggest any changes or improvements you would want in this subreddit.

I. Introduction: Consumption, Narcissism, and Mass Culture
Materialism and Mass Culture
…
Those who take a hopeful view of recent cultural changes disagree among themselves about the difficulty of the “transition” ahead and about the nature of the society to which it is leading. The only thing that justifies treating them as a group is that all of them reject the diagnosis of our society as “narcissistic.” As Yankelovich puts it, the “American quest for self-fulfillment” cannot be reduced to the “pathology” of narcissistic personality disorders.” Narcissism “is not the essence of the recent American search for self-fulfillment.” “Far from being its defining characteristic, narcissism is a betrayal of it.”
The controversy about narcissism, which revives in a new form earlier controversies about mass culture and the American national character, raises important questions and helps to call attention to the connections between social and economic changes and changes in cultural and personal life. Nevertheless, much of it is deeply confused. For one thing, the concept of narcissism remains elusive and obscure, even though it appears eminently accessible. Those who object to the description of advanced industrial culture as a culture of narcissism do not understand very clearly what the description implies, while those who accept it all too quickly accept it as a journalistic slogan that merely restates moralistic platitudes in the jargon of psychoanalysis. Narcissism is a difficult idea that looks easy - a good recipe for confusion.
Another source of confusion is the persistence of certain preconceptions derived from the controversy that divided critics of “mass culture” in the fifties and sixties from celebrants of cultural democracy and pluralism. Recent attempts to reformulate this debate - to salvage what was useful in the critique of mass culture by detaching it from an ill-conceived defense of cultural modernism - have been misunderstood as attempts to revive earlier positions in their original form. I have suggested elsewhere that the phenomenon of mass culture, too often treated from the point of view of its impact on aesthetic standards, raises questions about technology, not about the level of public taste. Advanced technologies of communication, which seems merely to facilitate the dissemination of information on a wider scale than was possible before, prove on closer examination to impede the circulation of ideas and to concentrate control over information in a handful of giant organizations. Modern technology has the same effect on culture that it has on production, where it serves to assert managerial control over the labor force. The study of mass culture that it has on production, where it serves to assert managerial control over the labor force. The study of mass culture thus leads to the same conclusion prompted by a study of the mechanization of the workplace: that much advanced technology embodies by design (in both senses of the word) a one-way system of management and communication. It concentrates economic and political control - and, increasingly, cultural control as well - in a small elite of corporate planners, market analysts, and social engineers. It invites popular “input” or “feedback” only in the form of suggestion boxes, market surveys, and public opinion polls. Technology thus comes to serve as an effective instrument of social control - in the case of mass media, by short-circuiting the electoral process through opinion surveys that help to shape opinion instead of merely recording it, by reserving to the media themselves the right to select political leaders and “spokesmen,” and by presenting the choice of leaders and parties as a choice among consumer goods.
This interpretation of mass culture and advanced technology may be wrong, but it is a different argument from the old accusation that mass culture lowers public taste or from the Marxist version of this accusation, according to which mass culture brainwashes the workers and keeps them in a state of “false consciousness.” Yet the terms of the earlier debate remain so coercive that new arguments are immediately assimilated to old ones. Criticism of the narcissistic elements in our culture strikes many observers as a lament for the “morally tuned, well-crafted self,” in the words of Peter Clecak. It is not my position, however, as Herbert Gans tries to summarize it, that “if commercial popular culture were eliminated, workers could and would become intellectuals.” Why should workers become intellectuals? I find it hard to imagine a less attractive prospect than a society made up of intellectuals. What is important is that working men and women have more control over their work. It is also important for intellectuals and workers alike to see that this question of control is not just a political or an economic question but a cultural question as well.
Mass Production and Mass Consumption
Still another source of confusion, in recent controversies about contemporary culture, is the failure to distinguish a moralistic indictment of “consumerism” - typified by Carter’s complaint about the obsession with “owning things, consuming things” - from an analysis that understands mass consumption as part of a larger pattern of dependence, disorientation, and loss of control. Instead of thinking of consumption as the antithesis of labor, as if the two activities called for completely different mental and emotional qualities, we need to see them as two sides of the same process. The social arrangements that support a system of mass production and mass consumption tend to discourage initiative and self-reliance and to promote dependence, passivity, and a spectatorial state of mind both at work and at play. Consumerism is only the other side of the degradation of work - the elimination of playfulness and craftsmanship from the process of production.
In the United States, a consumer culture began to emerge in the twenties, but only after the corporate transformation of industry had institutionalized the division of labor that runs all through modern industrial society, the division between brain work and manual labor: between the design and the execution of production. Under the banner of scientific management, capitalists expropriated the technical knowledge formerly exercised by workers, reformulated it as science, and vested its control in a new managerial elite. The managers extended their power not at the expense of the workers. Nor did the eventual triumph of industrial unionism break this pattern of managerial control. By the 1930s, even the most militant unions had acquiesced in the division of labor between the planning and execution of work. Indeed the very success of the union movement was predicated on a strategic retreat from issues of worker control. Unionization, moreover, helped to stabilize and rationalize the labor market and to discipline the work force. It did not alter the arrangement whereby management controls the technology of production, the rhythm of work, and the location of plants (even when these decisions affect whole communities), leaving the worker with the task merely of carrying out orders.
Having organized mass production on the basis of new division of labor, most fully realized in the assembly line, the leaders of American industry turned to the organization of a mass market. The mobilization of consumer demand, together with the recruitment of a labor force, required a far-reaching series of cultural changes. People had to be discouraged from providing for their own wants and resocialized as consumers. Industrialism by its very nature tends to discourage homo production and to make people dependent on the market, but a vast effort of reeducation, starting in the 1920s, had to be undertaken before Americans accepted consumption as a way of life. As Emma Rothschild has shown in her study of the automobile Industry, Alfred Sloan’s innovations in marketing - the annual model change, constant upgrading of the product, efforts to associate it with social status, the deliberation inculcation of a boundless appetite for change - constituted the necessary counterpart of Henry Ford’s innovations in production. Modern industry came to rest on the twin pillars of Fordism and Sloanism. Both tended to discourage enterprise and independent thinking and to make the individual distrust his own judgment, even in matters of taste. His own untutored preferences, it appeared, might lag behind current fashion; they too needed to be periodically upgraded.
The Fantastic World of Commodities
The psychological effects of consumerism can be grasped only when consumption is understood as another phase of the industrial work routine. The repeated experience of uneasy self-scrutiny, of submission to expert judgment, of distrust of their own capacity to make intelligent decisions, either as producers or as consumers, colors people’s perceptions both of themselves and of the world around them. It encourages a new kind of self-consciousness that has little in common with introspection or vanity. Both as a worker and as a consumer, the individual learns not merely to measure himself against others but to see himself through others’ eyes. He learns that the self-image he projects counts for more than accumulated skills and experience. Since he will be judged, both by his colleagues and superiors at work and by the strangers he encounters on the street, according to his possessions, his clothes, and his “personality” - not, as in the nineteenth century, by his “character” - he adopts a theatrical view of his own “performance” on and off the job. Outright incompetence, of course, still weighs heavily against him at work, just as his actions as a friend and neighbor often outweigh his skill in managing impressions. But the conditions of everyday social intercourse, in societies based on mass production and mass consumption, encourage an unprecedented attention to superficial impressions and images, to the point where the self becomes almost indistinguishable from its surface. Selfhood and personal identity become problematic in such societies, as we can easily see from the outpouring of psychiatric and sociological commentary on these subjects. When people complain of feeling inauthentic or rebel against “role-playing,” they testify to the prevailing pressure to see themselves with the eyes of strangers and to shape the self as another commodity offered up for consumption on the open market.
Commodity production and consumerism alter perceptions not just of the self but of the world outside the self. They create a world of mirrors, insubstantial images, illusions increasingly indistinguishable from reality. The mirror effect makes the subject an object; at the same time, it makes the world of objects an extension or projection of the self. It is misleading to characterize the culture of consumption as a culture dominated by things. The consumer lives surrounded not so much by things as by fantasies. He lives in a world that has no objective or independent existence and seems to exist only to gratify or thwart his desires.
This insubstantiality of the external world arises out of the very nature of commodity production, not out of some character flaw in individuals, some excess of greed or “materialism.” Commodities are produced for immediate consumption. Their value lies not in their usefulness of or permanence but in their marketability. They wear out even if they are not used, since they are designed to be superseded by “new and improved” products, changing fashions, and technological innovations. Thus the current “state of the art” in tape recorders, record players, and stereophonic speakers makes earlier models worthless (except as antiques), even if they continue to perform the tasks for which they were designed, just as a change in women’s fashions dictates a complete change of wardrobe. Articles produced for use, on the other hand, without regard to their marketability, wear out only when they are literally used up. “It is this durability,” Hannah Arendt once observed, “that gives the things of the world their relative independence from men who produced and use them, their ‘objectivity’ which makes them withstand, ‘stand against’ and endure, at least for a time, the voracious needs and wants of their living makers and users. From this viewpoint, the things of the world have the function of stabilizing human life, and their objectivity lies in the fact that … men, their everchanging nature notwithstanding, can retrieve their sameness, that is, their identity, by being related to the same chair and the same table.”
The changing meaning of “identity” illuminates the connection between changing perceptions of the self and changing perceptions of the outside world. As used in common speech, identity still retains its former connotation of sameness and continuity: “the sameness of a person or thing at all times or in all circumstances,” in the language of the Oxford English Dictionary, “the condition or fact that a person or thing is itself and not something else; individuality, personality.” In the 1950s, however, the term came to be used by psychiatrists and sociologists to refer to a fluid, protean, and problematical self, “socially bestowed and socially sustained,” in the words of Peter L. Berger, and defined either by the social roles an individual performs, the “reference group” to which he belongs, or, on the other hand, by the deliberate management of impressions or “presentation of self,” in Erving Goffman’s phrase. The psychosocial meaning of identity, which has itself passed into common usage, weakens or eliminates altogether the association between identity and “continuity of the personality.” It also excludes the possibility that identity is defined largely through a person’s actions and the public record of those actions. In its new meaning, the term registers the waning of the old sense of a life as a life-history or narrative - a way of understanding identity that depended on the the belief in a durable public world, reassuring in its solidity, which outlasts an individual life and passes some sort of judgment on it. Note that the older meaning of identity refers both to persons and to things. Both have lost their solidity in modern society, their definiteness and continuity. Identity has become uncertain and problematical not because people no longer occupy fixed social stations - a commonplace explanation that unthinkingly incorporates the modern equation of identity and social role - but because they no longer inhabit a world that exists independently of themselves.
Now that the public or common world has receded into the shadows, we can see more clearly than before the extent of our need for it. For a long time, this need was forgotten in the initial exhilaration that accompanied the discovery of the fully developed interior life, a life liberated at last from the prying eyes of neighbors, from village prejudices, from the inquisitorial presence of elders, from everything narrow, stifling, petty, and conventional. But now it is possible to see that the collapse of our common life has impoverished private life as well. It has freed the imagination from external constraints but exposed it more directly than before to the tyranny of inner compulsions and anxieties. Fantasy ceases to be liberating when it frees itself from the checks imposed by practical experience of the world. Instead it gives rise to hallucinations; and the progress of scientific knowledge, which might be expected to discourage the projection of our inner hopes and fears onto the world around us, leaves these hallucinations undisturbed. Science has not fulfilled the hope that it would replace discredited metaphysical traditions with a coherent explanation of the world and of man’s place in it. Science cannot tell people, and at its best does not pretend to tell people, how to live or how to organize a good society. Nor does science offer the same check to the otherwise unrestrained imagination that is offered by practical experience of the world. It does not recreate a public world. Indeed it heightens the prevailing sense of unreality by giving men the power to achieve their wildest flights of fantasy. By holding out a vision of limitless technological possibilities - space travel, biological engineering, mass destruction - it removes the last obstacle to wishful thinking. It brings reality into conformity with our dreams, or rather with our nightmares.
A culture organized around mass consumption encourages narcissism - which we can define, for the moment, as a disposition to see the world as a mirror, more particularly as a projection of one’s own fears and desires - not because it makes people grasping and self-assertive but because it makes them weak and dependent. It undermines their confidence in their capacity to understand and shape the world and to provide for their own needs. The consumer feels that he lives in a world that defies practical understanding and control, a world of giant bureaucracies, “information overload,” and complex, interlocking technological systems vulnerable to sudden breakdown, like the giant power failure that blacked out the Northeast in 1965 or the radiation leak at Three Mile Island in 1979.
The consumer’s complete dependence on these intricate, supremely sophisticated life-support systems, and more generally on externally provided goods and services, recreates some of the infantile feelings of helplessness. If nineteenth-century bourgeois culture reinforced anal patterns of behavior - hoarding of money and pullies, control of bodily functions, control of affect - the twentieth-century culture of mass consumptions recreates oral patterns rooted in an even earlier stage of emotional development, when the infant was completely dependent on the breast. The consumer experiences his surroundings as a kind of extension of the breast, alternately gratifying and frustrating. He finds it hard to conceive of the world except in connection with his fantasies. Partly because the propaganda surrounding commodities advertises them so seductively as wish-fulfillments, but also because commodity production by its very nature replaces the world of durable objects with disposable products designed for immediate obsolescence, the consumer confronts the world as a reflection of his wishes and fears. He knows the world, moreover, largely through insubstantial images and symbols that seem to refer not so much to a palpable, solid, and durable reality as to his inner psychic life, itself experienced not as an abiding sense of self but as reflections glimpsed in the mirror of his surroundings.
Consumption and Mass Culture
…
According to this view of the “modernization” process, it is the very abundance of choices to which people are now exposed that underlies the malaise of modern man. “Where complex alternatives are available in a society,” in the words of Fred Weinstein and Gerald Platt, “it becomes necessary for the individual to direct his own existence without traditional supports, i.e., without class, ethnic, or kindship ties.” The need to make choices among a growing range of alternatives gives rise to “persistent feelings of discontent.”
…
The pluralist conception of freedom rests on the same protean sense of the self that finds popular expression in such panaceas as “open marriage” and “nonbinding commitments.” Both originate in the culture of consumption. A society of consumers defines choice not as the freedom to choose one course of action over another but as the freedom to choose everything at once. “Freedom of choice” means “keeping your options open.” The idea that “you can be anything you want,” though it preserves something of the older idea of the career open to talents, has come to mean that identities can be adopted and discarded like a change of costume. Ideally, choices of friends, lovers, and careers should all be subject to immediate cancellation: such is the open-ended, experimental conception of the good life upheld by the propaganda of commodities, which surrounds the consumer with images of unlimited possibility. But if choice no longer implies commitments and consequences - as making love formerly carried important “consequences,” for instance, especially for women - the freedom to choose amounts in practice to an abstention from choice. Unless the idea of choice carries with it the possibility of making a difference, of changing the course of events, of setting in motion a chain of events that may prove irreversible, it negates the freedom it claims to uphold. Freedom comes down to the freedom to choose between Brand X and Brand Y, between interchangeable lovers, interchangeable jobs, interchangeable neighborhoods. Pluralist ideology provides an accurate reflection of the traffic in commodities, where ostensibly competing products become increasingly indistinguishable and have to be promoted, therefore, by means of advertising that seeks to create the illusion of variety and to present these products as revolutionary breakthroughs…
Industrial Technology, Mass Culture, and Democracy
…..
Since both parties to this debate agree that “modernization” leads to the democratization of society and culture, the difference between them comes down to the issue of
As for the new “narcissism” and the “culture of selfishness,” they can be dismissed as “excesses,” “unavoidable byproducts,” “troubling side effects” of social and economic progress - “extreme instances of more salutary trends.” Intellectuals who see only the negative side of progress see American society through a framework of nostalgia. According to Wachtel, critics of contemporary narcissism obscure the “valuable features of the search for person fulfillment” by “tarring them with the same brush used to describe severe psychopathology.” “To gauge American character by means of a rising index of selfishness,” Clecak argues, “seems to me as unprofitable as assessing progress in cardiac surgery during the sixties and seventies by counting the number of patients who die in operating rooms.”
In the form in which it has been conducted now for the last forty years, the debate about what used to be called mass culture and is now called narcissism can never be resolved. The debate has turned on the controlling conception of cultural change as a balance sheet, in which material gains offset cultural losses. It turns on the question of whether material progress exacts too heady a price in the loss of cultural “excellence.” But who is to say whether the gains of social and economic democracy outweighs its cultural “side effects”?
Suppose the question is misconceived. What if we reject the premise behind this whole discussion, that industrialism fosters political and economic progress? What if we reject the equation of industrialism with democracy and start instead from the premise that large-scale industrial production undermines local institutions of self-government, weakens the party system, and discourages popular initiative? In that case, cultural analysis can no longer content itself with balancing the social and political gains allegedly attendant on indifferent on industrial progress against cultural losses. It will have to decide instead whether the invasion of culture and personal life by the modern industrial system produces the same effects that it produces in the social and political realm: a loss of autonomy and popular control, a tendency to confuse self-determination with the exercise of consumer choices, a growing ascendance of elites, the replacement of practical skills with organized expertise.
…
The point is that modern surgery, taken as a whole, has done very little, if anything, to improve the general level of health and physical well-being or even to prolong life. All medical technology has done is to increase patients’ dependence on machines and the medical experts who operate these “life-support systems.” The development of modern technology, not only in medicine but in other fields as well, has improved human control over the physical environment only in a very superficial way, by enabling scientists to make short-term modifications of nature, of which the long-term effects are incalculable. Meanwhile it has concentrated this control in a small elite of technicians and administrators.
Modern technology and mass production have been defended, like mass culture, on the grounds that although they may have taken some of the charm out of life, they have added immeasurably to the comforts enjoyed by ordinary men and women. “I have no quarrel with tradition,” Gans writes. “I am in favor of washing machines over washboards, and over river banks, however.” But it is precisely the democratizing effects of industrial technology that can no longer be taken for granted. If this technology reduces some of the drudgery of housekeeping, it also renders the housekeeper dependent on machinery - not merely the automatic washer and dryer but the elaborate energy system required to run these and innumerable other appliances - the breakdown of which brings housekeeping to a halt. As we have seen, modern technology undermines the self-reliance and autonomy both of workers and consumers. It expands man’s collective control over his environment at the expense of individual control; and even this collective control, as ecologists have pointed out again and again, is beginning to prove illusory as human intervention threatens to provoke unexpected responses from nature, including changes in climate, depletion of the ozone layer, and the exhaustion of natural resources. Nor can it be argued that advanced technology expands the range of options. Whatever its power to create new options in theory, in practice industrial technology has developed according to the principle of radical monopoly, as Ivan Illich calls it, whereby new technologies effectively eliminate older technologies even when the old ones remain demonstrably more efficient for many purposes. Thus the automobile did not simply add another form of transportation to existing forms; it achieved its preeminence at the expense of canals, railways, streetcars, and horse-drawn carriages, thereby forcing the population to depend almost exclusively on automotive transport even for those purposes for which it is obviously unsuited, such as commuting back and forth to work.
Our growing dependence on technologies no one seems to understand or control has given rise to a widespread feeling of powerlessness and victimization. The proliferation of protest groups, seen as an assertion of “personhood” in the arguments advanced by Clecak, Gans, and other pluralists, actually arises out of a feeling that other people are controlling our lives. The dominant imagery associated with political protest in the sixties, seventies, and eighties is not the imagery of “personhood,” not even the therapeutic imagery of self-actualization, but the imagery of victimization and paranoia, of being manipulated, invaded, colonized, and inhabited by alien forces. Angry citizens who find themselves living near poisonous chemical dumps or nuclear power plants, neighbors who band together to keep out schools for retarded children or low-income housing or nursing homes, angry taxpayers, opponents of abortion, opponents of busing, and minority groups all see themselves, for different reasons, as victims of policies over which they have no control. They see themselves as victims not only of bureaucracy, big government, and unpredictable technologies but also, in many cases, of high-level plots and conspiracies involving organized crime, intelligence agencies, and politicians at the upper reaches of government. Side by side with the official myth of a beleaguered government threatened by by riots, demonstrations, and unmotivated, irrational assassinations of public figures, a popular mythology has taken shape that sees government as a conspiracy against the people themselves.
The Decline of Authority
…
The decline of authority is a good example of the kind of change that promotes the appearance of democracy without its substance. It is part of a shift to a manipulative, therapeutic, “pluralistic,” and “nonjudgmental” style of social discipline that originated, like so many other developments, with the rise of a professional and managerial class in the early years of the twentieth century and then spread from the industrial corporation, where it was first perfected, into the political realm as a whole. As we have seen, managerial control of the work force created a passive work force, excluded from decisions about the design and execution of production. Passivity, however, created new problems of labor discipline and social control - problems of “morale,” of “motivation,” of the “human factor,” as they were known to the industrial sociologists and industrial psychologists who began to appear in the twenties. According to these professional students of “human relations,” modern industry had created a feeling of drift, uncertainty, anomie: the worker lacked a sense of “belonging.” Problems of labor discipline and “manpower recruitment” demanded an extension of the cultural reforms already inaugurated by the rise of mass marketing. Indeed the promotion of consumption as a way of life came to be seen as itself a means of easing industrial unrest. But the conversion of the worker into a consumer of therapies designed to ease his “adjustment” to the realities of industrial life. Experiments carried out at Western Electric by Elton Mayo and his colleagues at the Harvard Business School - the famous Hawthorne studies - showed how complaints about low wages and excessive supervision could be neutralized by psychiatric counseling and observation. Mayo and his colleagues found, or claimed to find, that changes in physical conditions of work, wage incentives, and other material considerations had little influence on industrial productivity. The workers under observation increased their output simply because they had become the object of professional attention and for the first time felt as if someone cared about their work. Interviews instituted with the intention of eliciting complaints about the quality of supervision, which might in turn have enabled management to improve supervisory techniques, turned up instead subjective and intensely emotional grievances having little relation to the objective conditions of work.
...
“Selfishness” or Survivalism?
In its liberal use of labels, its addiction to slogans, its reduction of cultural change to simplified sets of opposite characteristics, and its conviction that reality is an illusion, this simpleminded case for “cultural revolution” betrays its affinity with the consumerism it claims to repudiate. The most glaring weakness of this argument, however - and of the whole debate in which it is immersed - is the equation of narcissism with “selfishness of an extreme form,” in the words of Daniel Yankelovich. The terms have little in common. Narcissism signifies a loss of selfhood, not self-assertion. It refers to a self threatened with disintegration and by a sense of inner emptiness. To avoid confusion, what I have called the culture of narcissism might better be characterized as a culture of survivalism. Everyday life has begun to pattern itself on the survival strategies forced on those exposed to extreme adversity. Selective apathy, emotional disengagement from others, renunciation of the past and the future, a determination to live one day at a time - these techniques of emotional self-management, necessarily carried to extremes under extreme conditions, in more moderate form have come to shape the lives of ordinary people under the ordinary conditions of a bureaucratic society widely perceived as a far-flung system of total control.
Confronted with an apparently implacable and unmanageable environment, people have turned to self-management <““Freedom in thought has only pure thought as its truth, a truth lacking the fullness of life. Hence freedom in thought, too, is only the notion of freedom, not the living reality of freedom itself.” Hegel, Phenomenology of Spirit>. With the help of an elaborate network of therapeutic professions, which themselves have largely abandoned approaches stressing introspective insight in favor of “coping” and behavior modification, men and women today are trying to piece together a technology of the self, the only apparent alternative to personal collapse. Among many people, the fear that man will be enslaved by his machines has given way to a hope that man will become something like a machine in his own right and thereby achieve a state of mind “beyond freedom and dignity,” in the words of B.F. Skinner. Behind the injunction to “get in touch with your feelings” - a remnant of an earlier “depth” psychology” - lies the now-familiar insistence that there is no depth, no desire even, and that the human personality is merely a collection of needs programmed either by biology or by culture.
We are not likely to get any closer to an understanding of contemporary culture as long as we define the poles of debate as selfishness and self-absorption, on the one hand, and self-fulfillment or introspection on the other. According to Peter Clecak, selfishness is the “deficit side” of cultural liberation - an “unavoidable byproduct of the quest for fulfillment.” It is a part of contemporary culture that must not be confused with the whole. “Though they are plausible to a degree, characterizations of America as a selfish culture typically confuse excesses with norms, by-products with central and on the whole salutary outcomes of the quest” for self-fulfillment. But the question is not whether the salutary effects of “personhood” outweigh hedonism and self-seeking. The question is whether any of these terms capture either the prevailing patterns of psychological relations or the prevailing definition of selfhood.
The dominant conception of personality sees the self as a helpless victim of external circumstances. This is the view encouraged both by our twentieth-century experience of domination and by the many varieties of twentieth-century social thought that reach their climax in behaviorism. It is not a view likely to encourage either a revival of old-fashioned acquisitive individualism (which presupposed far more confidence about the future than most people have today) or the kind of search for self-fulfillment celebrated by Clecak, Yankelovich, and other optimists. A genuine affirmation of the self, after all, insists on a core of selfhood not subject to environmental determination, even under extreme conditions. Self-affirmation remains a possibility precisely to the degree that an older conception of personality, rooted in Judaeo-Christian traditions, has persisted alongside a behavioral or therapeutic conception. But this kind of self-affirmation, which remains a potential source of democratic renewal, has nothing in common with the current search for psychic survival - the varieties of which we must now examine in some detail.

TLDR: My mum has been an unpaid carer for my Gran and my uncle has not been helping towards the cost of care for my Gran. Can my mum make a claim against the estate once my Gran passes? Would this affect her carers allowance? England.
My Gran has two children, my mum and my uncle. Around 2019 she was diagnosed with dementia and she has deteriorated since. She made it known to us that she didn't want to be put in a care home and she had made a will before her diagnosis. Both my mum and my uncle have power attorney over my Gran.
Since 2021 my mum has been a carer for my gran along with three other paid carers as my gran now needs full-time care. My mum now does around 55 hours of unpaid care for my gran and the other hours are done through paid carers. She has previously done more hours than this as my uncle did not want to pay for carers but my mum managed to get at least 2 days off now. My uncle refuses to care for my gran himself, which is why we have the paid carers.
My gran owns her house and it was built by her and my grandad, so it is something that my mum would like to keep in the family, but my uncle wants to sell it. He has already done an equity release on the house to pay for my grans care and he takes money out of my grans account to pay for her carers. He recently took out £10,000 for this. The only thing he contributes to helping my gran is paying for the meals, three times a week, which is £21 per week. My gran is very quickly running out of money and soon more equity will need to be taken from the house.
My mum has tried talking to him, asking if he can contribute more (he is quite wealthy) as my mum thinks that if she is contributing 55 hours unpaid towards my grans care, then he should do the equivalent himself or for paying for the carers. He says he pays for the meals and so it equals out, plus my mum gets carers allowance. (This is £80 per week).
My mum wants to work out her hours she has spent caring for my gran, and then take an average of the paid carers and work out how much money this would cost, minus her carers allowance and then minus what he pays for the meals from his side and then once my gran passes get this money in a form of shares in the house, before the estate is divided up. If my mum can get my uncle to agree to this would it be possible for this is be viewed as a debt that needs to be paid before the division? Equally, would this affect her carers allowance, as she is technically being paid?
If anyone knows any precedent or has any legal advice that would be really helpful! We are also going to contact Citizens advice.
Thank you!

🌿 Detailed Overview:
Steps into the complex relationship between the mind and physical health, particularly focusing on how unresolved psychological issues can manifest as physical disorders. Dr. Sarno, renowned for his work on Tension Myoneural Syndrome (TMS), argues that many chronic pain conditions attributed to physical causes are in fact the result of psychological factors.
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Audience Takeaway:
"The Divided Mind: The Epidemic of Mindbody Disorders" by John E. Sarno is an essential read for individuals suffering from chronic pain, medical professionals, and anyone interested in the psychological aspects of health. It offers a revolutionary perspective on treating chronic pain and other disorders that challenges conventional medical wisdom and provides hope for many who have not found relief through traditional methods.
💌 Your Experiences and Reflections:
Have you experienced physical symptoms that you believe were linked to psychological factors? How do you view the relationship between your mental and physical health? Share your experiences with any mindbody approaches you've tried and discuss how these have influenced your understanding and management of health issues. Let’s delve into how our minds and bodies interact and the implications this has for our overall well-being.
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