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I have newly got a job, everybody was curious about me because I was new, so was he. He came and asked couple of questions where I am from etc. Few days after I saw him but we didn't talk. Then the next time of job, I needed a help with something, he came and helped me and then we started to talk again. He asked me what I am studying etc. After that talk he was coming near me and asking questions like what I do on my free time etc. After that talk, I really felt something towards him and I felt like he kinda likes me too.I am working in a kitchen btw and I work part time.
After 1 week(this sunday), I was waiting in the kitchen to start work, he was there drinking something and we started to talk again. He stood there and talked to me almost like 15 min, which after manager warned him. During the talk, we talked about my city, the country, where I live in the current country etc. After I started to work, and some time later I burned my arm. I went to manager room for the spray and he was there again .While I was waiting for my arm to get better, he asked if I'm okay etc and then asked "do you like to go restaurant, club, cafe etc after work?" Which I replied as "Yes" , and then I was confused because I thought he asked me generally, so I asked "you mean together?" Which he replied as yes. After awhile, he got my phone number. Btw, I also checked his schedule, he supposed to finish at 9 pm, but he finished at 11 pm, same time as me. After we changed clothes, my sister and her husband came to pick me up and I introduced him with other friend to them because my sister would soon work in the same place. Before introducing, he asked if I will go with them, which I couldn't reply because the other guy was already near my sister and I rushed for some reason, I was also so tired that day with huge feeling of throw up. Basically my brain malfunctioned at that time.
Yesterday he messaged me. We texted a bit on WhatsApp but after some message, he just left me on read. From his last seen, I can see he is online or just write someone every 10-15 minute. So I am confused on why he is doing this or is it just me being delusional that I got wrong signs from him and make everything in my head? He also looks directly in my eyes while talking, and once when he didn't hear me and I had to go near his ear he was about to hold my waist. I guess I am just one of his backups. What do I do? Do I confront him next time we meet or just act like nothing happened?

Recently my nmother decided to kick me out because I held a boundary with her. I refused to pick her up from work because an issue I wanted addressed was not addressed, so I allowed myself to say no and not have to explain myself.
My nmom's response was to have my enabler dad come upstairs and say that they think it's best I find somewhere else to live.
Next day I throw away half of my possessions because where I'm going I won't be able to take them, and pack what little I had left into my suitcases and left. Thankfully I had somewhere to go, and I am wanted and safe there.
My parents watched me do this. Watched me throw away items that I deemed "non-essential" because they would have nowhere to go.
Next day I get a long message from my nmom saying it was her decision to kick me out (no duh) and that it wasn't an easy one. She spewed off about her abusive past and how I don't have it half as bad as she did and blah blah blah. The problem is she ended the message the way I knew she would "we are proud of you and we love you and we want you to come home."
They watched me pack up my life in an instant, and leave. I called that this was going to happen. Why do they do it? I just cannot understand. One second I'm being kicked out, I actually go and they instantly want me to come back.
They deployed my flying monkey brother when I didn't reply to the message. I've realised now after all this time I have to be careful what I tell him. So I kept shtum. I knew if I told him I don't plan on going back it would get worse, so I just said I don't know what I'm doing yet. I have no intentions of going back, though.
Anyone else experienced this? Anything else I should expect? I never thought my parents would do this to me, but I'm beginning to realise I don't know what they're capable of.

Hello people,
I am looking to start up a group for my 5e homebrew campaign set in the world of Esvoyra. It is a horromystery/political tale which is more on the grounded end of dark fantasy with a sanity mechanic to boot!You don't need to have lots of experience but you should be up for character roleplaying and not be afraid to die - bwahaha. As it is primarily a horromystery style of game you should be over 18. We will start online to establish a consistent group then move to play in-person which will be in Leeds centre. Feel free to send me a message if you are interested.
Thanks!!!

First of all, sorry for my broken English. Not my native language. Please point out if something isn't clear!
TL;DR we’re rushing things and don’t know how to slow down
It's a nice story tbh. We met 10 years ago, we were in the same friend group. He had a big crush on me but I was a crazy ass 19 y.o. who didn't really care about boys, also I was planning to move to another city (500 km away) - and I did. So in the past 10 years we lost contact, albeit being friends on social media and stuff, and sometimes we would casually meet on nights out with our friends when I came home to visit.
While I was making the rounds of Southern Europe, he started a relationship that lasted approx. 7 years. They were living together and stuff. She's a nice girl, I remember meeting her a couple of times, but she's got a lot of "social" issues that made living together very hard for the both of them. She was in constant need of his presence, and for the last 1.5 year of their relationship he felt more like a father to her than a boyfriend (PLEASE NOTE I have nothing against her and I dont want to make her look bad because SHE'S NOT. If this info wasn't important for the story I wouldn't have shared that). He left her in December 2023, the main reason being that he wanted the relationship to "grow up", think of a family, a bigger house, dogs, kids... but she couldn't even keep a job so he ended things more or less in a friendly manner after trying and trying.
3 months later, in March, I liked a pic he posted on facebook, he sent me a message asking if I was back for good (I am) and basically asked me out on a date. And MAN WHAT A DATE. Everything was perfect, we laughed to the tears, you know when you feel something has clicked and now everything is in its right place? Yeah. We both felt that. So we jumped on this loveboat ride and everything has been great, but we were really rushing things, like I started staying there for the night during the week (aided by the fact that his apartment is 10 mins from my office so it was also covenient for me), he met my parents (by accident tho honestly that wasn't planned, but still) I met his mother, his coworkers, also his boss! He got drunk with my dad! (That was fun haha). I thought that we were rushing things too much but I brushed it off thinking "don't ruin it, if it feels right then let it be", but eventually it came out during a talk we had. We both acknowledged that we'd been getting ahead of ourselves and this was making him uncomfortable, because he didn't really want to end up in another relationship right after ending a 7 year long one, at the same time he thinks what we have is precious and we should cherish it. He wants to see and have a future with me but also wants to take things slow. I agreed, and being the pragmatic little demon I am I had prepared a list of things I thought we should do/stop doing, such as sleeping there on weeknights, parents involved etc, to which he agreed. Also I noticed that he was kind of... I don't really know how to explain, projecting? his ex's persona on me. I noticed that when he was on morning shift (starts at 6 a.m.) and I had spent the night at his apartment, he'd be very worried about me not getting up on time to go to work at 8 (like his ex did) and asked me to send him a message as soon as I woke up. Another thing, there has been a weekend when I was sick, it wasn't that bad, I just had a stomach ache and nausea and needed to go to the bathroom a lot. Well that day it looked like I couldn't even walk for him, he wanted me to stay at home while he was buying the groceries to cook for lunch even though I said I was fine and a trip to the supermarket wouldn't have killed me. I reckon that's because his ex was like that. But I'm not. I'm really an independent person, I've been living by myself for the past six years, I can look after myself! And even though it's lovely to have someone who cares about you, that just felt like having a nanny and not a boyfriend (we also talked about this).
Aprt from that our relationship is great, we discuss things as adults, every discussion/argument ends with a common point. I love this. Also he's the sweetest.
But after the talk we had, and the things we both agreed on, Sunday night we were watching a movie together on his sofa, the movie was over and I said "oh it's 10 pm, I gotta go" and he was like "why don't you just stay here for the night? Your office is basically across the street" I told him that that's exactly what we agreed to avoid, he insisted a bit but then I left.
Now, I don't know what else to do to slow things down apart from to ones I listed and furthermore I don't know how to help him with all of this. He's confused and I can see that, but I trust him and if he said he really cares about our relationship then so it is.
What do you think? What should I do?
Thank you for reading.

Hi everyone, sorry in advance for the long post! As the title says I’m looking for some input/advice about choosing undergrad majodouble majors/minors and the CPA designation. Wanting input from people of ALL backgrounds but especially looking to hear from current CPA card holders.
Info about me + different options I’m considering and hoping to get opinions on:
I am a 31 y/o male from Alberta, Canada (wanting to move—preferably outside Canada—sometime after graduation/attaining CPA), currently in my second year of a Bachelor of Computer Information Systems (BCIS) degree but possibly switching programs. My goal is to attain my CPA designation and I have a few different paths I am looking at to get there, but I am not sure what would be the best path forward, taking into account my age as well.
I am at the point now where I have to make a decision in order to avoid potentially taking additional classes during undergrad; although a couple of the potential options will still require 1-2 additional on top of the usual 40 courses for bachelors degree. I have been accepted into the two programs (BBA & BS in Data Science) that I applied to that are within my same university and have until May 30 to accept/decline the offer(s) and transfer programs.
Below is the full list of options I am considering along with the remaining # of courses/time it will take for me to complete everything needed. Currently I have 18 courses completed after two years and 22 minimum remaining for a degree. Atm I am signed up for 2 courses this summer to get me up to 20/40 courses done before yr 3 starts. One, potentially both summer classes are not needed though depending on what direction I go, so if I drop one or both that will add small amount of time as it will add to my remaining # of classes needed since no other offered summer courses to make it up are useful to me. If I could get some advice from the people out there on which option you would recommend, that would be greatly appreciated! Any additional info and insights are welcomed and appreciated!
(1)———Stay in BCIS——— — 22 courses left to complete degree(40 total). — 6 CPA core courses left to complete on top. • 18+22+6 = 46 courses needed for BCIS degree & all CPA prerequisite courses completed to start CPA PEP (+30 months to get CPA designation). • Graduate with BCIS degree then finish 6 remaining CPA core classes at same university to receive Advanced Accounting Post Bachelor’s Certificate before CPA PEP. (2)**Only 3 classes short of just getting full Accounting BBA degree as well instead of certificate. 49 total courses(with business department sign off) needed to graduate with both bachelor degrees. 50 total courses without department sign off.** — BCIS degree has a mandatory co-op. One non-credit 4 month work-term required to graduate. Non-credit co-op class has a normal course tuition fee you have to pay and also need to pay a half course tuition fee for the non-credit co-op work term. **Would drop one of two summer classes
(2)———BBA in Accounting w/ BCIS Minor——— — 22 courses left to complete degree(40 total, no extra courses needed). — Least amount of time. — All CPA core prerequisite courses completed within the degree and can go right into CPA PEP(+30 months to get CPA designation). (3)*** Take 3 missing classes needed to get Data Science minor as well. 43 courses total to complete degree with both minors.*** Would not drop any of the two summer classes
(4)—BBA Acct/Fnce double major w/BCIS minor— — 24 courses left to complete double major degree(42 total courses) to obtain BBA Accounting/Finance double major. — Would be missing 2 CPA cores. So, 44 total courses are needed to graduate with double major, BCIS minor and all CPA cores complete. ***** +4 courses(48 tot.) to add Data Science minor. Would not drop any of the two summer classes
(5)———Bach. of Science in Data Science——— -——w/ Finance concentration & BCIS minor——- — 24 courses left to complete degree. It takes 2 extra courses(42 total courses) to switch and obtain BSDS with finance concentration and BCIS minor. + 2 courses(44) for concentration in comp sci & big data instead. — 18+24 + 5 classes to add accounting minor = 47 completed courses to graduate. — 18+24 + 8 classes to receive Advanced Accounting Post Bachelor’s Certificate = 50 total completed courses needed. • 2 additional CPA cores needed also. So, in order to receive a BSDS w/ Finance concentration and have all prerequisites completed to enrol in CPA PEP it will be 52 courses total I would need to complete(34 more courses left). • Would only need 4 more courses to get BBA accounting degree instead of certificate (56 courses). — Data Science degree has one mandatory 4 month work-term as a graduation requirement just as BCIS does. Unlike the BCIS program though, this is a for credit work-term, which means there is actually one less class to take then I numbers above show for this option.— **Would drop one of two summer classes.
(6)Either BBA accounting(40 courses tot.) or BBA accounting/finance double major & CPA cores complete(44 total) — both still with BCIS minor — followed by either some kind of data science/analytics/AI related ((a.))Post Bachelorette diploma/certificate, ((b.))Masters program, or ((c.))self learning and creating a portfolio along with doing online certifications through IBM, Google, and Microsoft.
Thank you so much in advance to anyone taking time to read this super long post and especially to anyone who takes the time to also reply and offer some thoughts! Simple poll posted as well for an easier response option. A written response with some detail would be extra appreciated!
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So I have had lessons with BSM instructor, and I got to tell you that the experience is extremely terrible and disappointing.
First, the instructor was highly unprofessional and irresponsible. She rescheduled or canceled lessons 18 times out of the 10 lessons I had booked. Yes, you read that right—more cancellations than lessons. When she did show up, she would just drive around the city without teaching any real skills, and I saw no improvement throughout all the lessons. Last-minute cancellations were common; she once canceled just 4 minutes before a scheduled lesson. Punctuality was always an issue—more than 80% of the time, she was late and ended the lessons early.
The most frustrating part is that she suddenly messaged me to say she was resigning, and that was the last I heard from her. Despite numerous follow-up messages, she read them but never responded.
When I tried to file a complaint on the BSM website, the situation only worsened. The customer service chat informed me it could take up to 8 weeks for the complaints department to respond, despite previously they would try to get back to me within a week. I've been complaining for a month and a half, sending multiple emails with no reply. I feel like I'm being ignored—ONCE AGAIN.
I’m certain that BSM/AA driving school doesn’t care about us customers—they just want your money. Save yourself the trouble and find a local instructor instead. Here’s my advice:Avoid BSM at all costs!

Hello music friends/colleagues:
Does anyone have the ability to very quickly transpose a choral piano score from key to key within the next 24 hours? I'm too tied up with my work to transpose it myself. Can anyone help out to transpose the score or do you know someone who can do it quickly?
I'll later private message you the score. It's just the song "Sing Sing Sing", a lot of repetitive stride piano jazz writing, nothing too long and arduous. Thanks!

Hello guys,
I need your help. You are an excellent bartender. Imagine you've been asked to create a signature cocktail especially for someone who loves good alcohol and cocktails, as a gift for their birthday. I mean not just a basic drink, but a cocktail crafted and designed in their style, suited to their taste profile, something special.
Of course, this won't just be a recipe: for the first time, they will drink it in your bar. In addition, it will be a beautifully designed recipe with a congratulatory message, photo, and exact instructions so it can be repeated at home (but first and foremost, it should be memorable).
One clarification: we're talking about your close friend. Overall, this should be a pleasant and sentimental addition to the main gift, which is a crystal decanter and cocktail glasses.
Could you tell me please what do you think about this? If you were offered to do something like this, would you take it on? I know you are professionals, but I don't know how you would perceive something like this.
I will be glad and grateful for your answers.
Thank you!

Hi,
Jump on a Discord/Online Call with me for around an hour for n number of readings. I may extend if time permits. (I will be starting soon).
(Kindly DO NOT comment here, just avoiding too many notifications haha. You must DM me your scenario/situation in the first message itself.)
I'll be selecting one person for today, and others as time goes on. DM your situation/scenario in private, make sure it's interesting so I can't resist. I'll be getting in touch with people who I have a strong calling towards.
I am new to tarot and currently practicing. I am strongly connected with my deck, and it has given almost spot on reading every time!
Check my reviews here: scalletavito Tarot Reading reviews :
Thanks, and best wishes everyone. :)
PS: I'll take some time to decipher the messages as I am new and still learning.

Hi everyone,
I'm looking for some advice on my current situation with a girl I've been seeing. We've gone out four times, and each time has been great. We've hooked up, and on our last date, she even paid for dinner, held my hand, and rested her head on my shoulder. All these signs seem positive to me.
However, I'm really confused about her texting habits. Sometimes she will read and respond to my texts almost immediately, but other times she takes more than 12 hours to reply. This inconsistency is throwing me off.
A side note: I've been the one coordinating all our dates so far. I'm wondering if this is important to know in evaluating the situation.
this kind of texting behavior normal? she interested in me but only when it’s convenient for her? Or overthinking this?
I appreciate any insights or similar experiences you can share. Thanks in advance!

Hi,
Jump on a Discord/Online Call with me for around an hour for n number of readings. I may extend if time permits. (I will be starting soon).
(Kindly DO NOT comment here, just avoiding too many notifications haha. You must DM me your scenario/situation in the first message itself.)
I'll be selecting one person for today, and others as time goes on. DM your situation/scenario in private, make sure it's interesting so I can't resist. I'll be getting in touch with people who I have a strong calling towards.
I am new to tarot and currently practicing. I am strongly connected with my deck, and it has given almost spot on reading every time!
Check my reviews here: scalletavito Tarot Reading reviews : u/scalletavito (reddit.com)
Thanks, and best wishes everyone. :)
PS: I'll take some time to decipher the messages as I am new and still learning.

Hello guys. I'm an incoming college student na gustong mag enroll sa isang private university. Sadly, I didn't pass the passing score for their scholarship. Sabi ko, it's okay lang since marami pa namang scholarships like CHED. (Hindi ako nakapag apply sa DOST dahil hindi ko na naabutan). Double sadly, hindi priority ng CHED yung course ko which is Business Administration. I was devastated kasi ito na lang ang pag asa ko. Fortunately, may isang local scholarship sa city namin, pero I doubt na kasi wala silang updates about their requirements or when will their application start. I was so disappointed in myself dahil I didn't try hard enough sa entrance exam ng school ko and it made me wonder if tama ba yung course na i pursue ko dahil sayang ang CHED scholarship dahil pasok ako sana sa kanilang criteria if it weren't for my chosen course. Hindi pa nga ako nakapasok ng college, parang na demotivated na ako, knowing na malaki ang advantage kung isa kang scholar for credentials if you apply for a job in the future, and overall maraming merits. Do you have any advice for me? What should I do? A big thank you to who'll be replying to this post!

My love is a hard working man. He has a hard physical job. When he comes home from work he continues building on his own house that he is building on his own. An incredible construction. And I am so proud and admire him for how far he has come with it. (Both him and I have an agreement to never move in together as that fit our lives better, and so he is building this house for him self.)
We text back and forth all day. But my favorite time is when we are together in an Xbox party chatting. I need him.. I crave him. The hours I spend in the party with him melt all my stress away and I feel like I am floating.
We have a group of friends who like joining us and hanging out. And while they are great.. I really need my alone time with him. Which he of course is also happy to give. If there is time.
He is not a very romantic person. He is a bit of a loner and is used to just doing what he is doing and not really including others in that. He loves spending time with me. But he won't ensure we do if that makes sense. He always says: if you are there then you are there and it's great. If you are not then I just do my own thing and it's fine. So. An annoying bit of our relationship is that I have to be available when he is. Add this to these friends often joining, which is great, but then they are there when he is finally available.. and I don't get my lone time.
The last week or so has just been a bit chaos. First the job he is hired for right now has a long drive back and forth. So he leaves too early in the morning for us to have gaming time in the morning. In the evening I've had a lot of events, and he has too. And he had a tendency to fall asleep because he works so hard. Especially now it is warm too he gets worn out. So when I finally come home.. he's fallen asleep. Then we're finally both in a party but the friends are there too.. And it has just been a lot of that.
I fucking miss him sooo bad. I crave him sooo bad. But I feel like from experience I can't ask him to ensure time together. If I could keep our friends from joining that would help a bit. But they don't fully know or understand what him and I have together. And also my love will be like: why are you keeping them away when they want to hang out with us? Because. He doesn't have the same deep craving to be with me alone. He just enjoys I am there in general. So it is only my need that is like that.. And.. I need it. I am getting agitated. Frustrated. And feel tight and aching.
Today is a really hot day. His job is pushing him for a lot right now. He hasn't really replied much today because he is focusing on work. Which I get. But I am just feeling my guts twist and turn in longing. I feel like my only hope can be that our friends don't join tonight.. I wanna ask him to prioritize me. But I think he doesn't understand what he is meant to do with that. Because in his world he does, by always being by my side, always wanting me, loving my company when it's there.
But text messages and sharing him with my friends just isn't always enough for me.

Hello guys. I'm an incoming college student na gustong mag enroll sa isang private university. Sadly, I didn't pass the passing score for their scholarship. Sabi ko, it's okay lang since marami pa namang scholarships like CHED. (Hindi ako nakapag apply sa DOST dahil hindi ko na naabutan). Double sadly, hindi priority ng CHED yung course ko which is Business Administration. I was devastated kasi ito na lang ang pag asa ko. Fortunately, may isang local scholarship sa city namin, pero I doubt na kasi wala silang updates about their requirements or when will their application start. I was so disappointed in myself dahil I didn't try hard enough sa entrance exam ng school ko and it made me wonder if tama ba yung course na i pursue ko dahil sayang ang CHED scholarship dahil pasok ako sana sa kanilang criteria if it weren't for my chosen course. Hindi pa nga ako nakapasok ng college, parang na demotivated na ako, knowing na malaki ang advantage kung isa kang scholar for credentials if you apply for a job in the future, and overall maraming merits. Do you have any advice for me? What should I do? A big thank you to who'll be replying to this post!

I’ve recently just moved to the UK from North America and currently looking for jobs. I work in a very unique field that my current city doesn’t have much to offer in terms of available jobs. That being said, I’ve recently just discovered a position at a company that I would be perfect for. I sent my application in early April, as soon as the listing went up, and worked really hard on my resume, portfolio to coincide with their company, and a cover letter. The job listing doesn’t have an end date of when they will close to applications, but I didn’t think much of this.
Fast forward to the beginning of May (two weeks later after sending my application in) and I sent a follow up email stating my continued interest in the position and asking for an update. The HR person replied saying they are still reviewing applications and that they will contact me when there is an update. Now that we’re nearing close to June (two weeks since I sent follow up email) I’m wondering if I should email again to ask the status even though they have said they will give me an update. I don’t want to be annoying but I know I would be a perfect fit for this role and really want to get an interview as I’m confident that I could make a good impression.
The job listing is currently still up on indeed and their website but again I don’t want to be annoying by contacting them again after they said they will give me an update when they have one. Or if it’s progressive and will be seen in a good light contacting them for a second time two weeks after the first follow up.
Thank you!

is this weird?
so i'm in a sticky situation. my partner went out with his mates and they 'made friends' with some man in a bar, let's call him paul. i think my partner was pretty drunk n didn't think much of it, so they all went to my friends house for some drinks.
notes: pauls brother is apparently in prison for murder, paul had to leave the country for some time but now has returned but is living in a hostel until he finds a home. paul doesn't drink alcohol or do drugs, he's apparently celibate.
after about a week or so of the initial night out, my partner bumped into paul in the street. paul was adamant on my partner showing him where his other friend from the night lived as it was on the same road, and was trying to locate the house. my partner didn't want to give him the address, but it seemed paul remembered and started ringing all the bells of the apartment building.
paul then insisted on getting my partners number and walking him home. my partner refused the walk and left paul.
paul has now begun to send my partner a lot of texts checking in, asking him to be in touch and asking him to reply... and if he doesn't reply to tell him why (such as going to sleep etc).
my partner ignored the messages and then on the weekend me my partner and my friend were walking home and bumped into paul. paul was asking us where we were going and wanting to drive us (we refused). he then insisted on walking us home but we kept refusing and he followed and insisted. during this time, he was being REALLY creepy towards my friend and making advances and asking her to break his celibacy.
he insisted on walking us home but we didn't want him to know where we lived, as he had been ringing my other friends doorbell and i didn't feel safe with a man i barely know knowing where i live.
anyway, fast forward, we've ditched paul and continued our walk home.
as soon as we're home the texts begin, he asks if my partner got home safe. he began to ask why we didn't want him to come to our house, and said 'clearly you don't want a black man in your home' which is absolutely not the case. we don't want someone we barely know in our home - which is very fair i think.
the next day paul calls my partner and then proceeds to text him all through the day. he says my partner is racist because he's not replying (again, absolutely not true). he then asked my partner to send updates about what he's doing and sign off the messages at night time. he also said my partner can stay in his car if i ever kick him out. he then asks to see our house again and asks our address.
my partner sends a message basically saying he doesn't use his phone really so paul shouldn't expect a reply. he was also ringing our other friends doorbell again this day.
paul then says he'll just check in every now and then. but has already sent multiple texts including a good morning check in text this morning.
basically is this weird? i think it is but idk if it qualifies as the start of a stalking situation.
TLDR; my partner met a guy who is now relentlessly contacting him. unsure of what it means.

Forever na ba ganito to? Hahahaha
First month ko using my Lazada okay lahat, paid everything using their bills payment, convenient, no extra charges, charge to CC.
Nung 2nd month ayan na ayaw na “bill information error” message na sa lahat ng payments. Isip ko baka ngayon lang.
This time 3rd month grabe sira na ata talaga hahaha.
Ganito din po ba sa inyo? How to fix this po if ever naman, hirap po kasi ako maghanap ng babayaran.
Thank you!

19,f never went out with friends. not that im not an outspoken or friendly person, got a pretty good friend circle extremely talented supportive and hardworking people. they go out all the time and dont have to constantly update their parents on slightest minute plan changes.
first time getting along with people and them instanly making plans of going out was weird but in a jealous weird and questioning. it was later i figured their parents do not ask every detail of their day, who they met, what they had, why were they 5 min late. they dont pick and drop them everywhere they have schedules. and it was after a week or hanging out that i realised, it was me living a diffent life than everyone out there. and it broke me cus that was the point i realised that in the name of protectiveness and security and ease in commutation, they just snatched my independence from me.
they provide for me and i cannot begin to thank them enough for it, pursuing a professional study and doing good at it, always supportive. but that day i sat down and got to a conclusion that if i were to upset my parents or do not do things how they want me to do, i'd lose everything. and that has happened. asked to go out with friends, note that all of my friends come from dignified background humble and kind and educated and themselves are pursuing professional studies. never asked them before so expected there wont be a problem. was in dilemma that i dont go out cuz i dont ask to go out. often picture myself as a bird in cage unaware that shes trapped unless she tries to get out. yea so access to outside without them denied. reasoned a bit on why not. they got mad and yelled and said pretty harsh things. i was in school then and it was for the teacher's birthday. we loved her dearly and she was moving out of country. i was sure they'd let me so made plans and everything cancelled last minute cried whole evening and night. that was when it started. when the bird realised she isnt in a room but a prison.
gave a couple more tries here and there. same answers. silent treatments. refused to enroll me in the course im currently pursuing initially, calling it a financial issue. and yea there were and are financial issues but hey, grasped what was going on and did everything their way. cut ties with everyone except two friends who theyve met plenty more times than others and did as they said. regular classes, not questioning them, spending time with them. enrolled and in classes after six months.
met a guy and he was good. wanted to take me on a date. i knew they wouldnt let me go. took it slow and introduced him as my friend. asked me to cut ties with him. i kinda liked him. we had good undertanding he's help me with studies and confide about his family and life in general and i thought i can date. i wanted to date him. see where it goes like every other teenager who go out on dates after classes and study and support each other. they didnt wanted me to see him or anyother guy even as a friend. deleted every guy friend of mine's contact. we still were seeing each other until i got so burnt out of the constant watch and professional studies and competitive exams also all while managing a degree. had to break ties with him for a couple while and i admittedly couldve done with proper explanation but it was a panic attack, yeah i did starting having them right after school when everything crashed down, so panic attack with all tears and snot and heavy breathing i leave him a text that i cant do this.
fast forward today. exams done. some professional practical work everyone has to take up and my father as usual would pick me up and drop me. yesterday a friend of mine suggested we buy new books and get some food after work was done which is 1:30. i thought now that im old enough, cus the last time i tried asking was 16, maybe i can go. they said yes when asked in morning. 1:45pm text comes in. where u at. when will you be back. gave a location where he'd pick me up after we're done with books things. im at metro station, shaking, holding that ticket beacuse it was all over that again. they let me go but did they? call comes in when i dont reply in 5 minutes. he asks when will i be back upto. on saying by 4, he went why books need so much time. denied that i ever mentioned lunch too. i remember saying lunch and books. couldnt argue, not used to, dont want to upset them. two of my friends waiting for the metro so we go grab lunch and spend some time for the first time in about a year since we met, and im shaking cus its so humiliating and like. this close to crying when he hung up without saying anything further and mum texts in 2 mintes asking me to come back home rn this instant. manage to apologise and run through the station, get a cab and run home in 20 min. 2:20pm. at home. i dont if im though. in my bathroom. crying shaking of embarrassment, humiliation, guilt, frustation, anger. and hunger.
also, crossed path with the guy i was seeing. he had his guitar, he used to play for me after completing studies. killed me to pass by with just a hey and by the looks of it, he was upset about it too. everything keeps falling apart everytime i accomplish one thing.
i dont know if this is how parenting is supposed to be done because none of ppl i know have such parents and controls. so its not normal but is it abusive? i question and then go to sleep cus the obvious answer would disrupt the peace im holding on to. the good side of them keeping me sane.
if you've taken much time to read it through. thank you. i dont have anyone to share this with and im so lonely at times like this

I'm in the process of emailing potential PIs and was looking for tips online to refine my email structure when I came across a lengthy post on a certain academic subreddit. Essentially, professors are whining about receiving generic cold emails, but what truly sets me off is the blatant racism and lack of empathy. These comments are from a discussion among professors: "I just ignore them; they are just trying to escape their countries." "You're so kind to bother replying; I just block and delete." There are lots of other rude comments about international students, some mentioning specific countries and even making fun of the "broken English." I'm sorry but who exactly do you think you are, and how long ago were you graduate students that you are so incredibly out of touch?
I understand that spamming professors with generic emails is disrespectful, annoying, and appears desperate; But a good number of us are taking the time to read your papers and write individual emails, because we do not have unlimited resources to apply to a million different PhD programs worldwide. We need to find out if our particular skillset is useful in your lab and if there is space for us. I cannot request a trillion letters of recommendation from my professors. I do not have $100k lying around that I can freely spend on grad program fees either. And What gives you the right to comment on an applicant's home country? TF you mean "they're just trying to get out?" I am incredibly frustrated and angry with this system that has placed my career at the mercy of such egomaniac douchebags. I'm going to take a break from emailing for now. Anyways, thank you for reading, this is my favorite subreddit.

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