Im 29 yro (f) So I've been what I consider recovered for over 8 years, I had a small restricting relapse about 3 months ago due to the loss of my boyfriend of 8yrs and I was able to get myself together and get back on track. I'm at a healthy weight right now but3 months ago during my relapse I was teetering on the low end of healthy. I ended up going home because I lived 5 states over and needed a break and to be around family and not by myself. My mom has been shoveling food down my throat and I'm having soooo many intrusive thoughts about restricting that it's getting scary and I don't want to end up back in my ed. What can I do to make the thoughts stop? It's constant calorie counting, every time I feel hungry I start debating should I eat or not, I'm starting to like the empty feeling again and it's quite frightening because I know where this leads me. I have been looking at old pictures and longing to be back thin while also being disgusted at how unhealthy and sick I looked. I just am tired. What do I do?

I really would have thought it would be as simple as using cron or something, but no matter how much I search or what I try, I can only find ways to schedule background tasks. I just want to make an executable graphical program such a game or timer launch at 9am each day. I'm just running Pop!_OS 22.04 LTS. Is what I'm trying to do really just not a thing on Linux?

i am a very sensitive person; i've always been a little more emotional than most other people but it's gotten especially bad lately. i have severe anxiety (to the extent that it's debilitating without proper aid) along with a few other brain-wonks, and have had a lot going on in my personal life lately that's been stressing me out badly. if i were just feeling bad i could handle that, but i feel everything so intensely that i can't suppress my reactions.
when something bad (or something i interpreted as bad) happens or my boyfriend seems upset with me or anything, i isolate myself, have a full sobbing breakdown, my voice is lost to me, and/or i just make myself pass out to avoid feeling the feelings; and the person that always has to deal with me when i'm like this is my boyfriend. he insists that he doesn't mind and actually enjoys helping me get through stuff, but i know it's not fair for me to allow him to carry all of my burdens for me. especially because he has just as much stuff going on himself and if he's always stuck helping me, who's gonna help him?
i've tried to just hold it in, SO many times. it works for a few minutes but it just builds up inside to a point where i can no longer withstand it and the aftermath is worse than if i had just let it out in the first place. emotional pain gives me physical feelings in my body; they don't usually "hurt", but it's this deep, cold pressure that feels empty and suffocating all at once. it takes over my whole body and it's just too much to handle.
i've tried journaling about my feelings and what's on my mind to try to find some other form of emotional release, and it does help me feel a little better (i still write regularly), but doesn't do anything to prevent those reactions once i'm feeling bad again. i've tried actually talking to people about it, but the only one i can tell about these things comfortably is my mom as she goes through the same stuff (plus we text instead of talk since she lives in another state and we're both busy, so i don't need to use my voice), the issue being that she also doesn't know how to handle it. i'd try to talk to my dad since he actually raised me and might have a little more of an idea of why i'm like this, like the actual root, but we aren't close and he's not really a big emotions guy. my only option there would be to have my boyfriend ask him instead; he's closer with my dad than me. i of course talk to my boyfriend himself about stuff when i'm able to, but when i say "my voice is lost" i mean it in the most literal sense possible. i can't physically make myself speak so i end up having to type things out/text him when he's right next to me in order to communicate and it makes me feel alienated, like i'm too abnormal and i really don't like that.
i feel like this is all starting to take a serious tax on my boyfriend, i think it goes without saying that it's been incredibly draining for me as well, and i just want to know if there's anything i can do to not be like this. i don't want to spend the rest of our lives with him having to closely monitor my emotions like i'm a toddler. i want him to be happy and not have to worry about me all the time. i'm also so so so tired of feeling terrible 25/8 but i can't figure out what to do to stop it.
any and all advice is appreciated. thank you in advance.

Let’s use vestigial structures as a specific example of the non-falsifiability of evolution. When it became clear, based on advancing medical science, that the roughly 180 anatomical structures that evolutionists had originally claimed were useless actually were useful, they resorted to a fall-back position, which is a classic post-hoc explanatory device. They now claim that these structures supposedly served some OTHER function in the past, but now they have another function. Crapo in 1985, for example, wrote: “This is precisely how a vestige should be defined: Not as a ‘functionless’ part of an organism, but as a part which does not function in the way that its structure would lead us to expected, given how that structure function in most other organisms.” Notice now Crapo’s analysis here also confirms how important attacking the belief in God as a wise, efficient, benevolent Creator is to evolutionists: “It is the existence of such vestiges in such organisms which evolutionary theory would very naturally predict, but which the belief in an efficient Designer would not lead us to expect a priori.” (Italics removed, Richly Crapo, “Are the vanishing teeth of fetal baleen whales useless?” 1985). This kind of fall-back position for “explaining” vestigial structures illustrates the non-falsifiable nature of evolution. When medical science confirms the a priori viewpoint of the creationist model, that all of these anatomical structures really are useful and God didn’t insert useless organs and structures into the human body, the evolutionists don’t admit that their paradigm is falsified. Instead, they simply retreat into other rationalizations to keep attacking God as a shoddy, careless, unwise engineer. Here once again the viewpoint of Cornelius Hunter’s book “Darwin’s God: Evolution and the Problem of Evil” is confirmed: Evolutionists are engaged in negative natural theology when they argue against a supernatural explanation of the natural world based upon its perceived structural flaws and moral evils. Indeed, they find it crucial and very important to supporting their paradigm to do this. Needless to say, this kind of reasoning is every bit as metaphysical as the theologian who argues that the wonders and complexity of the natural world proves God’s existence. Any claim that evolution, when it enters the world of change above the genus or family taxonomic levels, is more “empirical” than creationism, is simply false.
The example of supposedly “vestigial” organs is also a great example of how the theory of evolution slows down scientific development and research. If an anatomical structure is a priori judged to be “vestigial,” then scientists who are evolutionists aren’t likely to study it carefully for what it really does. For example, tonsils were often removed for decades from children since they were judged to be simply “useless vestiges.” Later on, oops!, it was found out that they actually do fight disease. They weren’t so useless after all. Basically all 180 organs and anatomical structures that were once listed as “useless vestiges” (in one way or another) have been found to have real functions. For instance, the “yolk sac” is used by a developing human embryo to make its first blood cells; death would result without it. The coccyx was claimed to be a remnant of our purported evolutionary ancestors having a tail, but it’s actually a crucial point for muscle attachment needed for our upright posture (and, well, for defecation). So to say this is about “prior functions” as opposed to current functions is a great example of how evolutionists attempt to escape falsification of their paradigm. They assume these “prior functions” really existed a priori, when that remains to be proven. There’s no way to test, predict, observe, reproduce the selective advantage of supposed intermediate structures for the survival of the species in question, which supposedly occurred long ago in the prehistorical past. This is yet another example of circular reasoning by evolutionists, in which they assume what still needs to be proven.
A great, focused book from a creationist viewpoint on this general subject of "vestigial" organs is Jerry Bergman, Ph.D., and George Howe, Ph.d., "'Vestigial Organs' Are Fully Functional," Creation Research Society, St. Joseph, MO, 1990.
Super erudite, extra scholarly addendum, for those interested in grinding the details:
In response to one evolutionist critic in the past, I decided to do some research on this subject in order to be able to reproduce evidence for my reference about when evolutionists said that there were around 180 vestigial organs. The key evolutionist book that originated this specific number on this subject is Robert Wiedersheim, "The Structure of man: an index to his past history," which was published in English in 1895 and translated by H. and M. Bernard (Macmillan, London), which is available online through Google books since it has an expired copyright. According to Jerry Bergman and George Howe, "'Vestigial Organs' Are Fully Functional," p. 5, he developed a detailed list of 86 vestigial organs and "about 100 so-called retrogressive organs." Here's the list of the 86 vestigial organs. I suppose someone would have to do more research to get the list of 100 "retrogressive organs," which apparently come from the same book.If a medical doctor is available to survey this list, would he or she say that these organs are useless? Wasn't Wiedersheim simply wrong? Do evolutionists ever admit to error in the arguments that they make for their theory? Or do they simply keep pushing the same nonsense, regardless of how many times it has been proven false?
Here is Wiedersheim's list of the human body's supposedly useless vestigial organs/anatomical structures: Os coccygis. Cauda humana.Superfluous embryonic notochord and associated somites.Embryonic cervical, lumbar, and sacral ribs.The thirteenth rib of the adult.The seventh cervical rib in the adult.The interarticular cartilage of the sterno-clavicular joint (probable vestige of the episternal apparatus).Ossa supra-sternalia.Certain centres of ossification in the manubrium sterni.The branchial clefts (for the most part) and branchial ridges.Processus styloideus ossis temporis, and the ligamentum stylo-hyoideum.Anterior cornua of the hyoid, for the greater part.Foramen caecum of the tongue.Processus gracilis of the malleus.Post-frontal bone (?)Ossa interparietalia (and ? prseinterparietalia).Processus paramastoideus of exoccipital.Torus occipitalis.Processus frontalis of the temporal.Processus coracoideus .Os centrale carpi.Processus supracondyloideus humeri.Trochanter tertius femoris.The phalanges of the fifth toe, and less conspicuously of the third and fourth toes.Muscles of the pinna and the Musculus occipitalis. LM. transversus nuchae. L. --Facial muscles transformed into tendinous expansions.Mm. plantaris and palmaris longus, when completely tendinous.M. ischio femoralis.The caudal muscles.M. epitrochleo-anconseus.M. latissimo-condyloideus.M. transversus thoracis (triangularis sterni).M. palmaris brevis.The transition bundles between the trapezius and the sterno- cleido-mastoideus.M. levator claviculae.M. rectus thoracis.M. ere master.The primitive hairy covering or lanugo.Vestiges of vibrissaeThe vertex coccygeus, the foveola and glabella coccygea.Certain vortices of hair on the breast.Nipples in men.Supernumerary mammary glands in women.Alleged vestiges of mammary pouchesSupernumerary olfactory ridges.Jacobson's organ, and ductus naso-palatinus.Papilla palatina and foliata.Plica semilunaris of the eye.Vasa hyaloidse (Cloquet's canal) of the embryo the choroidal fissure.Lachrymal glands, in part.The epicanthus.M. orbitalis.Certain varieties of the pinna of the ear, i.e. Darwin's tubercle.The filum terminale of the spinal cord.Glandula pinealis and parietal organ.The parieto-occipital fissure of the brain .The obex, ponticulus, ligula, taeniae medullares, and velum medullare anterius and posterius, of the brain.The hypophysis cerebri (pituitary body).The dorsal roots and ganglia of the hypoglossus nerve.The rami recurrentes of certain cranial nerves.Certain elements of the brachial and lumbo-sacral plexuses.The coccygeal nerve.The glandula coccygea.Palatal ridges.The sublingua.The formation of rudimentary dental papillae before the sinking of the dental ridge.The Wisdom teethThe occurrence of a third premolar (reversionary).The occurrence of a fourth molar (reversionary).The vestiges of a third dentition.The ciliated epithelium of the embryonic oesophagus.Bursa sub- and prehyoidea (ductus thyroglossus).Musculi broncho-oesophagei.The appendix vermiformis.Ventricle of the larynx (Morgagni's pouch).Lobus subpericardiacus of the lung (reversionary).Certain Valves of the veins.Certain structures of a vestigial nature in the heart.Arteria sacralis media.Arteria ischiadica.Superficial plantar arterial arch of the foot.The vena cava superior sinistra.Venae cardinales posteriores, and ductus Cuvieri.Vestiges (in the female) of the mesonephric system, and (in the male) of the Müllerian ducts.Conus inguinalis, and ligamentum inguinale.The area scroti.
See also pages 200-209 of Robert Weidman’s book, which he labels “Conspectus of Organs Mentioned in the Text” and “List of Organs According to Systems.”

I have been trying to place an order for 4 days now. I had an account for years and never had a problem before now.
To summarize very, very briefly what's been an incredibly long and discouraging saga with the dinguses on the customer service chat and the 1 (855) 431-0459 customer service number, I get an error message telling me to use a different form of payment when trying to place an order. This has been a problem across three different cards from three different banks, all of whom have told me that the transaction is timing out on DDs end. I have removed and then reconnected the cards, logged out and then logged in again, tried both the app and the website, cleared my cache, tried a different browser, rebooted my computer, and I even deleted my old account and made a new one. Nothing helps, and neither does customer service. Good grief they've been bad. Telling me to dispute the charges when the problem is that I can't make a charge, not that there's an unauthorized one. Telling me to do all the basic account maintenance things that I told them I've already done. Telling me to do all the basic browser and computer stuff that I told them I've already done. Good grief I can't even begin to tell you how truly piss-poor the customer service has been. All I want to do is place an order. Does anybody have any suggestions? I'd try a different delivery service but this store is only on DoorDash.

So last night I had this extremely vivid dream. It started with me being back at my jobs old location, (in real life I still work for the same company but at a different location) and I was in a bathroom with the door open and in the lobby it was full of people coming in and out of the building, in the bathroom I was adjusting my tie or almost like I was getting ready for some kind of fancy event when all of a sudden this girl comes in and asks me if she can use my phone to take pictures of her tattoos because she wanted to show me, I thought that was odd because she could have just showed me, well I have tattoos of my own and it was just in the bathroom but with the door still open and we are showing each other our tattoos, I had pulled my pants down to show her tattoos on my legs (very weird for a stranger interaction) and all of a sudden there were a few girls from my high school there in the bathroom with us and they just kept saying “ew ew” when I was showing my tattoos, but this stranger girl that was there with me was like in awe and loved my tattoos. This stranger girl had brown hair, slightly longer than her shoulders, she had on dark blue pants and I can’t remember her tops because they kept changing throughout the dream but I know she had sleeve tattoos. I know she didn’t have glasses but I can’t describe the features of her face. I do remember her telling me she was from Ovid, NY. But, after that bathroom interaction the dream suddenly changed and I was jumping into a pond back first but when I did I got sucked down into a different futuristic world where everything was very high tech, it was almost like I was in a subway system but it was so silver everywhere with like touch screen panels on the walls all around me and everybody was in some VR head sets and some were sharing experiences and some weren’t. And others were just walking around and talking. There’s a haze of things that were happening around me that I can’t quite remember but then all of a sudden the stranger girl was there and she remembered me almost as if we had met a few days prior or something. She was soooo excitable and happy to see me. I asked her if she was single and she was. We chatted but I can’t remember what about. She was gone again, I found myself in this room that looked like something out of a sci-fi movie. Very silvery and blue and I had a bar code on my wrist, I saw that I could scan it on the wall so I did and I didn’t know what it did. But then as I walked out of the room I walk by very fancy people that were all sitting in 4s facing each other (like you would on a train) and they all had something on their heads like maybe a VR set or something to connect them to this world I was in, but I remember I could still see everyone’s eyes so I want sure if it was VR, but as I walked by there was this black girl in a yellow dress and short curly hair sitting in this group, and she made a comment when I walked by saying something like “oh, well fuck” and I turned and jokingly said “whoa that’s a swear word” and everyone just started laughing, including me. But I left up some stairs and suddenly again I was in a room with two older men, one I recognized and one I didn’t, and when I looked around I realized I was in a rather small viewing room in a hospital. I looked through the window on the wall and saw a women in a hospital bed hooked to tubes and wires. And just then the stranger girl burst into the room and hugged me and said “I can’t believe you paid for my mom’s treatment “ and she was crying. I didn’t know what she meant and she pointed at that barcode on my wrist and she asked me how I could have possibly been able to afford it and I didn’t know the answer. She kept thanking me profusely and then introduced me to those two men and said one was her dad and one was her step dad and they both just shook my hand and gave me a nod. Still crying the stranger girl hugged me and said “you’re gonna make a great boyfriend some day”. Then I walk out of this door almost like the “train” or subway stopped and the doors opened and I walked out into a bright blinding light and then I woke up from my dream. For some reason I remember feeling extreme happiness and comfort anytime the stranger girl was around me. And for context. I’m a 29 year old single white dude and the only major life change recently was having to put down one of my dogs earlier this week. I would really love some insight into this.

So, here is part 2 of my entitled employee story. We left off with discovering Sally’s retaliation of giving me trash as a Christmas gift after her latest write-up.
So, the next several weeks, I am noticing more problems, but here’s some of the highlights.

1. Ever since we had issues of the office’s checks going randomly missing, Sally had apparently decided to just stop throwing any envelope away when opening the mail. She would supposedly search the envelopes/paperwork & then keep the envelopes with the paperwork. So, instead of doing her job better, she would decide to just stop doing the job at all. After all, you can’t get in trouble for screwing it up if you aren’t doing it, right? However, this resulted in items getting left with the paperwork (which sometimes wouldn’t get touched for several weeks due to being busy) that had needed to be collected or addressed right away.
   
2. Sally’s careless mistakes continued at about the same rate (average of 2 to 3 a week). She would put deposit slips/emails with the wrong office’s report, put one office’s mail in another office’s bin, put one office’s funding papers in another office’s bin, put one office’s bills in the folder for their correspondence & vice versa, put one office’s bills in the folder for another office’s bills, put the new month’s bills in the folder without taking out the old month’s bills so they would get mixed up. I could go on & on.
   
3. Sally would still ask for help on things she shouldn’t need help on anymore, ‘cause I had helped her many times on items exactly like it in the 2 years she’s worked here. I mean, the whole point of asking for help when learning new things on a job is so you can take the input you’re given & use it to get better at the job so you don’t have to ask for help anymore. I mean, what kind of office works by their employees constantly needing to be walked through everything every day? Sally would even ask for help on things no one would need to ask for help on. For example, she asked me, “An office took a deposit to the bank without showing it on their report. How do I write that up in the letter to fax to them?” Um, exactly what you just said to me. Or another time, she asks how long she should wait before calling an office back. Well, how long do you think you should give them? Just use your good judgment. You don’t need help with that! Again, you’ve been here 2 years!
   

On Jan 26, I take the Dec bills, correspondence faxes, & timesheets out of their folders to scan them into the computer. Now, one thing the bills should always have on them are the check number used to pay for this purchase & the date it was paid. The offices themselves are supposed to write this on there, but they don’t always, which is why it is our job to write it on there if it’s missing. I had noticed when I scanned Nov’s bills around Nov 30 that a lot of Sally’s offices don’t have that info written on them. So, I explained to her what needed to be written on every bill/receipt. I now flip through the Dec & Jan bills of her offices really quick to check them. There are quite a few of them with no info written down on them. There’s strike one for noncompliance.
Another task we would do several days a week (that’s Sally’s responsibility) is to check the bank accounts online. She is to look at the bank balances & report any low balances to Greg (or me if Greg isn’t there). She is then to look at the transactions in order to see if anything looks fraudulent. Since we are a loan company, check fraud is very common for us. So, we look at the checks for anything funny-looking, & we look to see if there are any auto debits (like when you use your bank account online to pay for a bill) that would tell us if someone got hold of our bank account info.
On Jan 30, at 1:15 p.m., I asked if any of the bank balances were low (Greg was out of town for a few days). Sally said she had forgotten to check the bank accounts that morning. Weird, ‘cause you had to check the Dallas office to make sure the money we sent them had shown up. How did you get the login sheet out to look in their bank account but then forget about checking all the bank accounts? This just further cemented in my mind that she was NOT checking these bank accounts the way she should. I was 100% positive that all she does when logging into these bank accounts is checking the balances to give to Greg but then never checks the transactions. I know this ‘cause, 1) I’ve observed Sally only logging in to write down the balances & then logging back out (she had some flimsy excuse ready when I asked her about it), 2) there have been auto debits that appeared in bank accounts that we didn’t find for weeks until I happened to see it for some reason & guess what? She never pointed those out to us, & 3) Sally hadn’t bothered to check the bank account balances since Greg was out of town, so clearly she only felt the need to check the balances. There’s strike two for noncompliance.
& even more bad mistakes or decisions:

1. At the end of Jan, we discovered that Sally had mailed the employees’ W2s to the managers’ home addresses instead of to the offices to distribute to their employees!
   
2. We had an office that moved locations to right across the street, so the only thing that changed in their address was their street number (12 Main Street instead of 11 Main Street). I explained this to Sally & gave her an updated list of the office’s addresses. 3 weeks later, we get a call from that office saying that mail we send to them keeps going to their landlord’s house. I check the address labels Sally had created for herself. Sure enough, it had the wrong address on them. I go to grab the lease, & at the top is where the tenant’s new address is listed. & all the way at the bottom of the page in the paragraph titled “RENT” where it lists where to send the rent is the landlord’s home address. & that’s the address Sally had chosen to be the new office’s address on her address labels.
   
3. Sally hadn’t been faxing the offices to ask for bills/receipts that never made it to us.
   
4. I used the last towel on a roll of paper towels, so I went to the cabinets to grab another. We were out. Sally is in charge of keeping track of supplies that need ordering, so I go to Sally & say we’re completely out of paper towels, we need to order some. Sally response: “No one ever tells me when they grab the last roll so I know when to order them.” Um, excuse me, since when is it our job to tell you to do your job? It’s your responsibility to keep track of supplies. You should be checking the level of paper towels, toilet paper, Kleenex, etc., to see when you need to order them.
   

So, I knew she needed a second warning write up for carelessness cause of the numerous mistakes since the first warning write up in the middle of Dec, & I would be giving Sally a first warning write up for negligence cause of her not asking the offices for missing bills & not writing the info on the bills I had told her to do at the end of Nov. However, it was only a few days from Feb, which was the time for performance reviews. So, rather than doing a write up now & then in a week or so doing a performance review that was one of the worst performance reviews I’ve ever heard of, I decided to just do it in one fell swoop. You know, just get it all out of the way with one bad conversation, one bad day, & then both of us can hopefully put it behind us & move on.
I decided to do the performance review & write ups on Feb 5 (Monday). It went much smoother ‘cause Greg was there, so Sally couldn’t really give me lip or lash out by showing attitude & anger like she had previously.
On Feb 7 (Wednesday), I log in to get the transactions for an office who is switching banks. I wanted to get an updated list of outstanding checks so they know how many checks are left before they can close the old bank account. & what do I see? Someone had used the bank account to pay $100 on their AT&T bill. I call the office & find out it was actually them, so no fraud there. But I then ask Sally if she had seen that when checking the bank accounts. She said she didn’t remember. Obviously, I have found my proof that she is either not checking them or isn’t paying attention when she does. I have a discussion with Greg about it, & we decide I need to have a sit down with her about her not doing her job. She is sick on Thursday, so I plan to talk with her the next day she comes in.
On Feb 9 (Friday), I begin the conversation about checking the bank accounts & how important it is. I am planning to say things like, we expect you to do this job, you’ve been told multiple times to do this task, if you’re not going to do the job, then you’re welcome to go find another one, etc. But she cuts me off at the beginning with an excuse of, “Well, I didn’t know what I should be looking for, now I know.” & it broke me. She does this exact thing every time I have to have a conversation with her. She has an excuse ready to go on the tip of her tongue, always spins it around so it’s not actually her fault. It’s always, “Well, I didn’t know that, but now, I do.” & I was just done. I didn’t continue the conversation, even though I needed to, ‘cause I just broke down in tears from the stress of having to discipline her & knowing that nothing will ever come of it, but having our hands legally tied to be able to fire her right now. I cried nonstop for over 4 hours.
On Feb 12 (Monday), I sat down to continue the conversation, this time with a written statement for her to sign.
Me: You respond a lot of the time that you don’t know how to do things, which is very frustrating, ‘cause you’ve been shown multiple times how to do these tasks. It’s very inefficient & wasteful that I have to constantly check all of your work & retrain you on the same thing over & over again. This needs to change. This job is about accuracy & accountability.
Sally: You’re not giving me a chance to improve. I never hear “Good job,” from you. All I ever hear is, “You’re doing a bad job, sign this paper.” I get in trouble every time I ask for help, so I guess I’ll just follow the instructions & hope I’m doing it right.
The problems with that response:

1. You’ve worked here for 2 years, Sally. You’ve had plenty of time to improve.
   
2. The reason you never hear “Good job” is ‘cause you’re not doing a good job. How am I supposed to tell you “Good job,” but also need to give you a write up for doing a bad job? If you’re getting multiple write ups for doing a bad job, don’t you think that’s a sign that something is wrong? I mean, she thinks that managers should be telling their employees good job on everything they do right. No, you’re expected to do these tasks. We’re not going to congratulate you every time you do your basic job requirements like some toddler that needs constant positive reinforcement so they know that doing something right is a good thing! You will hear “Good job” when you are doing a really good job on something, when you go above & beyond!! I mean, do you think Greg tells me “Good job” when I’m just doing my job as expected?!! NO!!! I’ve never had a manager constantly tell me “Good job” all the time!!!! (Whew. Sorry about that. Kinda went on a crazy rant there. I’m good now.)
   
3. Here’s another example of her mentality of “if I don’t do the job, I can’t get in trouble for doing it wrong.” She’s going to stop asking for help instead of using the help I’ve given her to do better. I mean, if you’re making these mistakes when you ARE asking for help, how many more are you going to make when you stop asking for help? How does this make any logical sense?!
   

Well, here’s another chance for some malicious compliance. She claimed she didn’t know how to check the bank accounts, right? Well, my job as the manager is to make sure my employees know how to do their job. So, I need to sit down with her & train her how to check the bank accounts. Again. Even though I know she already knows how to do it. So, every time you tell me that the reason why you didn’t do a job is ‘cause you didn’t know how to do it right, well, we’re going to sit down & waste both our times & annoy you having to be retrained on something you do, in fact, know how to do.
Sally continues making careless mistakes & not doing stuff she doesn’t think she should have to do. Like answering the phones. It’s her job to answer the phones; that’s something I as the manager should be delegating to her. However, she never answers the phone unless I literally can’t. So, I had asked her to start answering the phone more. She will wait until the last possible second before answering the phone. By that time, it’s already rung twice, so I have to answer it before it goes on any longer or they hang up. One time, we were both away from our desks when the phone rang. We both went to answer it, but she was closer & got to her desk before me, put her hand on the phone, & watched me until I got to my desk before she picked it up. With a comment of, “Oh, (laughs) I didn’t want to make you walk all the way to your desk.” Well, you did, anyway, you little jerk.
On Feb 27, Sally asks for help on a report. She says that my note stating the office is over-deposited $28 on report 1 but fixed on report 2 by being $28 under-deposited didn’t work out. She says that they were never over by $28 in the first place. I take the report to look it over. Her calculator tape adding up the deposits shows the bank is in balance, but I don’t see deposit slips.
Me: Where are the deposit slips?
Sally: I haven’t gotten them yet.
Me: (trying to comprehend her logic) Then how do you have the deposit amounts added on this tape?
Sally: I got the amounts from the report.
Me: You…(my brain trying not to implode at this point) you can’t add up amounts to see if the bank has too much or too little money in it without knowing what was actually taken to the bank. The amounts on the report don’t always equal what was taken to the bank.
I log into the bank account & discover just that: the report says they took $500 to the bank, but their deposit says $528. They were indeed $28 over-deposited. I then lecture her (for the second time in a few months) on the correct way to account for the deposits at the bank, that we are only to use the dollar amounts on the bank’s deposit receipt. (The first time was her getting the deposit amount from what was written on the deposit slip instead of what the bank gave us credit for on their printed receipt. The bank had shorted us $500, & we never knew until her deposits didn’t work out when reconciling the bank statement at the end of the month. We were missing $500 for 4 weeks! It’s a miracle we didn’t overdraw the account.)
Another task that we do several days a week is checking the CFPB website. This is a government website that uses federal regulations to monitor financial institutions. It’s like the Better Business Bureau, but more official. Customers can make complaints through them, prompting an investigation to make sure we’re following the federal guidelines. We have 2 weeks to respond to a complaint before it is past due.
On Feb 29, Greg just happens to be looking at an email inbox that he never checks, ‘cause after all, we’re checking the CFPB website, so he doesn’t have to look there, right? There is a complaint in 2 of the portals that have been in there since Jan 22. He immediately marches out & tells Sally about them.
Greg: Aren’t you checking the CFPB sites?
Sally: Yeah, I am.
Really? Then how come you didn’t print this complaint off to give to Greg in the last 6 weeks? She came back from lunch to a second warning write up given by me for negligence.
On Mar 5 (Tuesday), we are working on reconciling the bank statements so we can close the month of Feb. Sally brings me a Jan bank statement for an office.
Sally: This never cleared in Feb.
I look at the bank statement. It’s an electronic deposit of $254 on Jan 31. I remember this. She had asked me at the beginning of Feb why this deposit wasn’t recorded on the office’s report. I explained that since it didn’t show up in the bank account until the last day of Jan, they might not have known about it before the end of the month & so recorded it on the first of Feb. We will wait until the first report of Feb. If it’s still not recorded, then we’ll bring that to the office’s attention. & here she is, clearly telling me she hadn’t brought it to anyone’s attention all month long.
Me: (staring at the bank statement as I try to prevent my autistic brain from exploding at her while also trying to prevent a spontaneous stroke) You didn’t keep track of this all month?
Sally: Well, I didn’t know if it was treated differently ‘cause it was OTBP (One Time Bill Pay, which is the electronic deposit). (Oh, what a shocker, she once again didn’t know how to do something.)
Me: But we talked about this. If it wasn’t on the first of the month, we needed to address it.
Sally: Okay, well, now I know that we treat this the same as other deposits. (goes nonchalantly back to her desk like it was no big deal, like she hadn’t just revealed she had once again disobeyed my detailed instructions)
Me: (seeing her flagrant disregard for the seriousness of the situation & wondering just how on earth she could once again think that not doing her job would have no consequences) This is exactly what Greg talks about over & over, about how we can’t leave errors like this to sit for weeks & weeks, that these need to be dealt with as they happen.
Sally: (still as easy-going as if she had simply used the wrong color highlighter) Okay, I’ll make note of that.
Now, I am getting really pissed off. She keeps saying, “Oh, now I know that OTBP is treated the same as everything else.” That doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter that you didn’t know it’s treated the same! I specifically told you to take care of it if it didn’t appear on the first of Feb! It didn’t matter what kind of deposit it was! I said to tell me if it wasn’t on the first of Feb!
Now, this was right before she leaves at 3:30, so by the time I’m finished with my text conversation with Greg (‘cause he isn’t there that afternoon), she has already left. But I’m telling Greg that I have once again caught her being negligent, & she’s already had 2 written warnings about this, which means our next step is letting her go. Not to mention, her carelessness is still continuing. He said that he supports my decision to let her go. By the way, the final decision happened an hour after she left. If I had known before she left that we were indeed going to fire her, I would have done it before she left so she didn’t have to come all the way to work in the morning just to leave again.
So, on Mar 6 (Wednesday), I arrive early to work so I can be prepared. I am standing at my desk, watching her come in. This is unusual, so she frowns as she approaches me.
Me: Sally, we need to talk.
Sally: (still frowns at me)
Me: (handing her the typed up notice) We are going to read this together. “When reconciling the month of Jan, around Feb 5, it was brought to my attention that we had a deposit that hadn’t been reconciled. I gave you instructions to wait a report to see if it works out. If not, you would need to bring it to mine & the office’s attention for further instructions. This wasn’t done. It wasn’t until Mar 5 that you brought this to my attention again. You have been told many times the importance of reconciling the financials of the office. You have been warned several times of negligence. This is another example of negligence with respect to your job. All you had to do was follow my instructions. It is for this reason that it is now time to terminate your employment.”
Sally: When did you tell me to do this?
Me: (thinking, “Um, I kinda just told you when I told you do that, but, okay.”) When you showed me the Jan bank statement—
Sally: Yesterday?!
Me: You showed me the Jan bank statement a month ago when you were reconciling Jan. I told you to wait for the first of Feb & then—
Sally: You did no such thing!
Me: Yes, I did, Sally.
Sally: When does Greg get here?
Me: Around 9, like usual.
Sally: I’m calling him, ‘cause this is ridiculous. You’ve had it out for me from the very beginning.
Me: No, I haven’t.
Sally: Yeah, you have. Just like the other 2. (sets her bags at the front door, goes outside, & calls Greg)

1. How could I have had it out for you from the very beginning when we didn’t have problems for the first year & a half you worked here? If I’d had it out for you from the beginning, you wouldn’t have had a job the past 6 months. Need I remind you what Greg told you about the timesheet thing being something we fire someone for on the spot, but that Molly had gone to bat for you & gave you a second chance? Why would I have done that if I had wanted you gone from the start?
   
2. “Just like the other 2.” She’s talking about Irene (who had left in Feb 2023) & another employee (who we’ll call Phil). Phil had been fired (by Greg, by the way) for continuing to watch movies on his phone at his desk despite being told multiple times by Greg to not do that. & Irene? She wasn’t fired. She gave her 2 weeks’ notice. & we then discovered when going through the work she’s been doing as we started taking over her tasks that she didn’t just not do jobs. She would actually forge the work so she wouldn’t have to work. “A bank imbalance of $2.65? Well, I’ll just add it to the imbalance that’s been building up for who knows how many months & just label it as an over-deposit from the end of the month. That way, I don’t have to look into why the bank isn’t balancing.” But no, I had it out for them, apparently.
   
3. Does she really think that calling Greg was gonna reverse my firing her? Does she really think I would do something as drastic as writing her up or firing her without discussing it with my supervisor first? Did she really think I would do this behind his back?
   

Apparently, she did, ‘cause Greg confirmed that Sally tried telling him about all the stuff I’ve been doing to her as if he didn’t know. She hung up on him when he explained that he’s been told everything as it happens & he supports this decision.
Sally: (storming back into the office & towards her desk) I’m not signing anything.
Me: Ok.
Sally begins packing up her desk. I had known she kept a lot of personal items at the office, so I had gotten a big box or 2 out & placed them nearby for her to use to pack up her desk.
Me: We can give you a box if you need it.
Sally: I don’t need sh** from you guys.
Me: The only thing we’ll need is your office key.
Sally: You’ll get it when you get it. I’m packing my desk.
Me: Ok.
I go back to work, keeping an eye on her as she packs to make sure she doesn’t take anything she’s not supposed to or damage any company property. Sally at some point decides to use the boxes she didn’t want from us to pack up her many items. She takes both boxes to the front door where her bags are & sets them down to put the last of her things in. She picks up one box to take outside.
Sally: You are the worst manager ever. (goes out the door)
Me: (shrug)
Sally: (comes back in for the final box) Seriously, you’re the most evil person I’ve ever met. (leaves)
Really? I rank worse than the guy that beat you up? I’m worse than him?
I continued watching her to see if she’s going to come back to give up her office key. As she packed up her car, another employee had arrived (we’ll call him Randy). He had run into her on the way in & asks me if Sally quit. I explained, no, she was let go. I then see that Sally has gotten behind the wheel of her car without coming back to give us the office key.
Me: Well, I guess we’ll just change the locks.
Randy then takes it upon himself to go out to her car. He phrased it very gently by saying he wanted to spare her having to come back in to turn the key in.
Sally: I guess Molly didn’t have the balls to do it herself. (hands the key over)
& then…she was gone. Despite having to do the entire corporate office’s work all by myself & falling steadily behind little by little, I have never been more happy. I had forgotten how much I loved my job & how much I couldn’t wait to get to work. I haven’t been this stress-free in 6 months, & it feels fantastic! & the great part is, I’m not really falling as far behind as I expected to without her. Having to do 2 people’s jobs by myself is only affecting me a little. Really goes to show you how bad she was for the company & for my job when she disrupted everything that much. For example, me & her would get through maybe 5 to 6 offices’ reports between us in a single day when playing catch up after closing the previous month. One day? I caught up on 10 offices’ reports in a single day. By myself.
Oh, did I mention she smoked marijuana most days on her way to work or while on her lunch break? We could never actually prove it. But, come on, you don’t smell that strongly of marijuana on only select days if you aren’t smoking it recently. If it was leftover from the smell of your house or car, you would smell like that every day. But it was only some days she would come into work or back from lunch smelling like that. Obviously, smoking on the job. So very glad to be rid of her & her awful skunk smell. Although, I do wish her well on a new job search. I don’t wish ill on anyone, ever. But I am just glad she’s no longer my problem to deal with.
(Added 2 months after she was fired): By the way, I am actually gaining on my work. I’m not only not behind on my work, I’m actually getting it done soon enough to work on extra stuff. Also, out of the blue, we’ve started getting about 3 to 4 sales & scam calls every day since Sally left (for things like better Medicare benefits, better retirement benefits, & even one time recently where “Walgreens” was calling to ask if I still had diabetes). I’m convinced Sally signed us up for calls as retaliation. I hope they die down soon, especially as they are starting to get rude. (Our response to every one of these is “Sorry, this is a business.” This one guy responded to me with, “This is my job.” I said, “I understand this is your job, but this is a business. I am not allowed to take personal calls.” He said, “Why?” I said very slowly & firmly, “Because I’m working!” He started to say, “Can you explain to me why—” I hung up. Jerk.)

Oh, boy, Charlotte, do I have a doozy for you. It’s such a doozy that it comes in 2 parts. I guess it would qualify as petty revenge, since that’s the only flair that fit, but it’s more of an entitled Karen story.
For the sake of telling the story a little smoother, I'm going to explain some things up front. I (female, early 30s; let's call me Molly) am the manager in the accounting office of a very small loan company. Like, really small. We have less than 30 offices with only 2 employees at each office. For this reason, we are kind of low-tech, old-fashioned. I'm talking paper timesheets that get faxed to our office (we're also the corporate office that handles the payroll). Our office hours are 8:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. with a half-hour lunch. Me & my employee (who we'll call Sally) work this shift. Our boss (who we'll call Greg) is the owner & CEO. He works in the office starting at 9:00 a.m. till whenever he leaves for the day. Most of the time, that's around the time we leave, sometimes it's earlier due to errands he needs to run.
So, in Oct 2022, Sally (female, early 30s) gave us a note that her doctor wants to have daily appointments with her indefinitely. She let us know she would need to leave at 3:30 every day. Greg granted that request & even gave her the opportunity to come in early so she didn't miss any of her 8 hours each day. So, she began coming to work between 6:45 & 7:00 & would take however long of a lunch she needed to so she would have an 8-hour day.
Due to a combination of our fiscal year-end work in Oct & Nov 2022, playing catch-up from Dec 2022 to Feb 2023, & the other coworker (who we'll call Irene) leaving the company in Feb 2023 so we had to play catch-up again for several months before we got used to the bigger workload, I hadn't been able to pay too close attention to Sally's work. But in the middle of Aug 2023, I began to suspect her. I realized that the tasks Sally had in the morning would usually take me an hour & a half to do, which meant I would be relatively finished by the time I would arrive at 8:30. Sally, on the other hand, would only have stuff halfway done. Now, I knew Sally worked slower than me since I knew the job better than she did, but this still seemed very slow. I began to suspect Sally was either not arriving as early as she said she was (she was the only one in the office before 8:30) or she was arriving on time but wasn't working.
On Aug 21 (Monday), I decided to come in early to the office since I had to make up time due to a doctor appointment later in the week. So, I arrived at work at 6:40. 6:45 rolled around...no Sally. 6:50...no Sally. 7:00...same thing. Sally arrived at 7:20. Now, ok, maybe she ran into traffic. However, that's a bit of a coincidence that the one day I show up early unannounced is also the day she happens to be late. But I waited to see what time Sally would write down on the timesheet. However, she didn't write down her time until Tuesday right before she left. She had written down that she had arrived at 7:05. I asked her about it, and her response was "I must have copied it down wrong from my spreadsheet." That's strange, 'cause you hadn't arrived at 7:05 any other day that week. Just where did you copy it down from?
Now, I am curious as to what time Sally puts down when she believes no one has seen what time she arrives. So, for Sept 4-15, I would arrive in the parking lot across the street & read a book & eat breakfast while I wait to see what time Sally would arrive. Every single day, she would arrive around 7:15 or 7:20, but would write down 6:45 or 6:50, a half hour discrepancy every single day. & we have no way of knowing how long she's been stealing a half hour every day. She could have been doing this for the past year since her schedule changed.
On Sept 18, I write down Sally's actual times from these 2 weeks on a paper & tell her to correct all the times I indicated. Sally says that she will use the office clock to write down her times from now on. Wait a minute, you're saying that your phone is a half hour earlier than the rest of the world? But only when you arrive at work. When you go to lunch & leave work, it matches the rest of the clocks. & then switches during the night so your arrival time can be wrong again the next day? Wow, that's a pretty glitchy phone you got there.
On Sept 20 after Sally left, I installed a camera that connects to an app in my phone. I put the camera in a place where it wouldn't be able to see any computers/paperwork & turned off the microphone (I didn't want to risk any company info being seen/heard). I only needed to see when Sally arrived. Where I ended up placing it, I was able to see Sally where she sat at her desk.
On three of the following days, Sally would arrive 10 to 15 minutes after the time she would write down. I speak with Greg about this, & we decide to write her up. By the way, usually when an employee is caught forging the timesheet like this, it's an immediate termination. At any other office, she would have gotten fired in the beginning of Sept after I first discovered the half hour forgery. I am deciding to give her a chance to make this whole thing right.
On Sept 26 (Tuesday), I give Sally the write up when she arrives.
Sally: I'll sign it, but I don't know why. I mean, I get here at 7:00. (Ok, there's a sign right there. Who signs an official write up when their employer is lying or setting them up?)
Me: I've observed you arriving between 7:10 & 7:15.
Sally reads the write up & then keeps it at her desk for a bit after signing it. After plenty of time, I ask for it back. She grabs it, so I lean forward & hold my hand out (our desks are right next to each other), but Sally flings it at my desk. The whole thing is made better by the fact that Greg is out of town Tuesday thru Thursday. So, Sally proceeds to be angry & have an attitude all the way through Thursday. She refuses to talk or answer the phones. She does that tossing/flicking-papers-around, aggressive-typing, heavily-setting-things-down thing people do when they're frustrated or angry (which she did all...day...long). She sped out of the parking lot & down the street so fast that I could hear her engine rev & tires squeal from inside the building.
On Sept 27 (Wednesday), Sally is still doing that slamming things thing. I enjoy not responding to her whatsoever. I could see out of the corner of my eye that she would slam something down & look at me. I wouldn't give any kind of reaction, wouldn't look at her, & it would piss her off. Sally would then start slamming things around again. I admit, that was fun.
On Sept 28 (Thursday), I see on the camera that Sally arrives at 7:00, but then I watch her sit on her phone for 45 minutes! She is still having attitude issues, &—unbelievably—is still slamming things. After she leaves for the day, I then see the calendar that Sally keeps on her desk as I was passing by. On the box for Sept 26 (the day she was written up), she had written the words "F***ING JOKE!". The audacity of her to write that in plain view of everyone in the office & think she wouldn't get in trouble for it.
On Sept 29 (Friday), Sally arrives at 7:00 but sits on her phone for 30 minutes WHILE VAPING! (Not sure about other cities or states, but it's illegal to smoke or vape inside a building in the city where our office is.) But Greg is back this day, & I had been texting him what's been going on. He had texted back he wanted to do a meeting on Friday. So, the 3 of us go into the breakroom for a meeting.
Greg: So, Sally, what's been going on with this timesheet thing?
Sally: I just, I forget to write down the time when I arrive.
Greg: Ok, well, whether it's done on purpose or through negligence, we can't have wrong times on the timesheet. So, from now on, you won't be able to come to work before Molly gets here at 8:30. Now, are there any other problems you'd like to discuss with us?
Sally: (begins getting worked up) I just, I feel like I can't talk to her. She creates such a hostile work environment.
Now, I am blown away. Me? Hostile? I'm autistic, so I'm naturally shy & hate socializing, so I usually don't talk to anyone very much. Everyone I tell this story to, their eyes widen when I mention this, 'cause there's no way anyone would ever describe me as hostile.
Luckily, Greg interrupts her to defend me: This isn't a hostile work environment.
Sally: (backpedaling) Well, I mean, she gets mad at her printer & bangs on it, & that just flashes me back to stuff. I mean, I'm trying to work on myself & the anxiety, & she just sends me back.
Oh, so now, we're claiming we have PTSD & that my "violent" actions are giving her flashbacks? Um, who is it laughing right along with me every time my printer jams? (By the way, I know she's lying about the PTSD, 'cause I have a couple friends with PTSD & recognize the signs. Sally doesn't show any sign of fear or panic or shrinking away from things, nothing like that. There are no signs whatsoever of her being alarmed by anything I do.) Oh, not to mention the double standards. You're allowed to slam things around (for 3 straight days, by the way), but I'm not?
Anyway, we wrap up the meeting after Greg underlines (for Sally's benefit) that everyone in the office needs to get along.
On Oct 2 (the next Monday), I had a good drive & happened to get there at 8:20. Sally arrives at 8:25 & comes in, stopping at my desk.
Sally: (annoyed) Are you gonna be early all week?
Me: (frowning & caught off-guard) Um, I don't know. It just depends how long my drive takes.
Sally: (with a snarky attitude) 'Cause I had to keep driving around waiting for you, so if you're gonna be early, I'd like to know.
Ok, first of all, no one is forcing you to drive around. You can park your car in the parking lot. Do you really think we're gonna fire you for sitting in the parking lot while you wait for me? We only said you couldn't come in & work before I do. & second, it's none of your business when I get to work. My shift starts at 8:30, therefore, you should aim for 8:30, just like Greg told you to do. How am I supposed to predict the exact minute I get to work? & you're gonna get angry at me 'cause I didn't show up before my shift starts? Since when is it a requirement of mine to come into work before I start working?
Well, a bit of malicious compliance in this entitled story: if I can see I'm going to arrive at work more than 5 minutes early, I stop at the store just down the road & shop until 8:30. 'Cause guess what? Sally gets there who knows how early & sits in the gas station across the street, waiting for me. Fine, you wanna be that way? I can be petty, too.
By the way, Sally has a radio talk show she listens to from before I get to work until it ends at 10:00. I'm not into talk shows, but it wasn't too annoying (most of the time), so I didn't say anything about it. The reason why I started having a problem listening to it was that they would get into inappropriate things (s** toy review, for example). It made me super uncomfortable when they did segments like this. From the moment Sally was written up, she started only listening to the show on her headphones, thinking she was punishing me by me not getting to hear the show. Joke's on her. Sally did me a favor by not having to listen to that thing.
Sally was also told that she is no longer allowed to take smoke breaks on the clock. As no one else in the office takes breaks but chooses to work through them, this change would be made so all employees were equal now. But here’s the interesting thing: Sally suddenly stopped taking smoke breaks at all, but her bathroom breaks grew more numerous & longer. When she had been taking smoke breaks, the alarm on her phone would go off at specific times, such as 2:00. She would then go outside to take her smoke break. After the on-the-clock-smoke-break privilege was taken away, the same alarms would go off, such as 2:00. She would then disappear to the bathroom for 15 minutes. & I even smelled smoke in there when I went in there right after one of these long bathroom breaks.
Ever since the write up, there’s been attitude every once in a while. Most of the time, I have no idea what it is I did that could possibly have set her off that day. All I know is that Sally’s suddenly slamming things around again (hmm, PTSD cured now, is it?). & she’s still constantly making mistakes (like she’s always done).
On Nov 27, Sally is working on the Funding (loan proceeds funded onto a customer’s debit card). What we do is get the list of customers, determine how much the office funded that customer, transfer the money from the office’s bank account to the holding account, & then transfer the total from the holding account to the account that directly funds the debit cards to replenish the money. We had two customers with similar names (say, John Smith & Jack Smith). Sally hadn’t paid attention to the whole name & had applied John’s $0 funding to Jack. However, Jack had been funded $250. So, that money was missed, & I had to make a separate transfer for it.
On Dec 4, Sally is working on the Funding & writes down $0 for a customer. But the report from the office says he actually got $96.
On Dec 8 & 9, we discovered 2 checks that were supposed to be sent to our office (one from Oct, one from Sept). Neither had been cashed, & neither had ever reached us, even though we had the rest of the paperwork that would have come with those checks. Due to the dots I had connected, I had a pretty strong hunch that Sally wasn’t thoroughly checking the mail envelopes to make sure they’d been completely emptied before they got thrown away. I believed these checks were still in some envelopes that were then thrown away by Sally.
On Dec 11, on the bank reconciliation sheets we work at the end of the month (like balancing a checkbook), one of Sally’s offices was out of balance by $68, & she couldn’t find it. I couldn’t find it, either. I pulled out the one done for the month before. I couldn’t find it there, either. But I did notice one thing. The checks that hadn’t cleared the bank yet didn’t add up to the total amount of outstanding checks Sally had written down. By $68. I go back to the month before that one. There were a total of $68 in old checks that never got cashed & therefore should have gotten written off on the fiscal year-end at the end of Oct. But she hadn’t transferred them to the new month’s sheet. So, now, we have to hold onto them for a whole year to write off next Oct.
The same day, I went through all the offices to double check the GL codes that we post the expense checks to (GL codes determine where an expense gets coded, e.g., post an electricity payment to the GL code for utilities). The day previously, Sally had gotten several GL codes incorrect in the Miller office. She had forgotten to change the codes from the one for the Checkbook to the ones for the expense account. She had caught those ones since it affected the balance of the Checkbook, so I had helped her fix those properly. However, there were expense checks sent to a GL code that wasn’t the right one that Sally hadn’t caught.
I talk with Greg, as I feel that every time I turn around, I am either retraining Sally on stuff I’ve trained her on multiple times, I’m correcting mistakes on stuff Sally should know how to do by now (‘cause again, I’ve trained her multiple times), or I’m disciplining Sally about stuff she’s doing wrong. Greg asks how many mistakes due to carelessness she’s made in the last 2 weeks. I check my notes & tell him 4. He says that’s too excessive for an accounting office. We need to write her up.
So, I made the write up, but I just know I’m going to be dealing with the same attitude as the last time I had to write her up. & guess what? Greg’s out of town till Thursday again. I used my phone this time to record the audio of the interaction. That way, if Sally has attitude towards me again, I’m able to play the recording to Greg so he can hear what Sally’s like when he’s not here (which is why the following conversation is pretty much word for word).
On Dec 12 (Tuesday), I sat her down first thing.
Me: So, in the past couple weeks, I’ve noticed some errors happening due to carelessness, & they’ve become a bit excessive for an accounting office. The most important thing in an accounting office is accuracy. That’s why we focus so much on thoroughness & attention to detail. So, whatever needs to happen to lessen those errors, whether it’s slowing the pace of the work itself or double & triple-checking the work before it’s finished, it needs to happen. For example, when I work the payroll, after I get the total for all the offices, I then subtract each person’s individual hours to double check my entries. That way, if there is an error, at least I know it wasn’t ‘cause I was going too fast or not paying attention or something. So, whatever you need to do to decrease the mistakes, please—
Sally: What errors are we talking about?
Me: I have a page here with the items from the last couple weeks. (hand her the write up)
Sally: (reads the pages for a minute) Ok…
Me: So, whatever you need to do to—
Sally: (talking quickly ‘cause she’s pissed now) I’m gonna need more time & focus strictly on Funding. I don’t wanna touch mail, I don’t wanna touch anything else. I wanna focus strictly on that. ‘Cause I’m getting 80 plus a day (which was a lie, we never get nearly that much), & now, I’m gonna start getting in trouble if it’s not 110%. I am human. I will make mistakes. So, if that’s not allowed, then…(shrugs) let me know, I guess. I’ll talk to Greg & I guess figure something out. I am human, & I am gonna make mistakes, A. B, I feel like crap. He (Greg) has been in here sick the last week. I caught whatever he has. I’ve been hacking. I’ve been sicker than sh** the last week. I am trying. You guys usually have until the 12th to close the month. Since I’ve worked here, I’ve closed before the 8th. Yeah, I made mistakes. I told you I made a mistake on the Miller office. I knew what happened. So, to throw it in my face again that I already made that mistake is kinda rude, but…(shrugs) I’m actually kinda shocked to see that on there.
Me: Well, you did catch the errors involving the Checkbook, but there were other mistakes on that office that you didn’t catch, & that’s the reason that was listed on there.
Sally goes back to her work, & I decide to not ask her to sign the write up I had given her right away since she was diving right into the Funding. She had expressed she wanted to focus solely on it to minimize mistakes. I wanted to use positive reinforcement to convey that this was good behavior & good thinking, so I decided to wait for her to finish before asking her to sign & return the write up.
Now, here’s the issues with her little outburst above.

1. Sally is complaining that she’s human & makes mistakes & we’re not allowing mistakes. We’re not saying that she can’t make mistakes, ‘cause she’s right. Everyone makes mistakes; I make mistakes. What we’re saying is that she’s making mistakes much too often.
   
2. Sally says the reason for these mistakes the last 2 weeks is ‘cause she’s been sick the last week or so ‘cause she caught what Greg had (do you see the timing problem there?). Also, these kinds of mistakes have been happening for months & months. I only brought these examples up ‘cause they were recent.
   
3. Sally pointed out the fact that she closes each month really quick. We don’t care how fast things get done. Our goal isn’t to get things done quickly but to get things done accurately. If we happen to get it done quickly, that’s just a bonus. We would rather things go slow than to have errors causing problems or costing us money ‘cause we didn’t take the time to make sure it was correct.
   
4. Sally states it’s rude that I’m throwing her error back in her face (you already know my reaction to that). She obviously doesn’t know how a job works. Just ‘cause we discussed this error already doesn’t mean it can’t go on the write up. This is just one of the examples that required us to do a write up. We’re not doing this ‘cause we want to write you up or that we’re looking for excuses to get you in trouble. We’re doing our job. If a situation needs correcting, we have to correct it. We can’t just ignore it. & obviously, me talking about your errors all these months hasn’t helped. You’re still making the same mistakes. So, now, we’ve had to escalate to a write up on paper.
   

Sally doesn’t say another word. She, as expected, starts doing her tossing-things-‘cause-I’m-pissed-off thing. I just go back to my work. I’ve said my piece, now we can put it behind us & move on.
Now, we have until 10:30 to make the transfers for this Funding program in order to get the money back to the account the same day. We are still missing the paperwork for 2 customers from an office. (FYI, when we’re missing paperwork, we call the office & ask them to fax it. If we still don’t get it when it gets close to the transfer deadline, we call again & just ask for the amount to get it done.) So, at 10:20, Sally turns to me.
Sally: What do I do for these 2 customers? Do I just skip them?
Me: (frowning) Do what you usually do when you don’t have the paperwork in time. Call the office—
Sally: (in a sharp tone) I did. (she’s assuming I mean call the office to tell them to fax it)
Me: (ignoring her attitude outburst) Call up the office & ask for the dollar amounts.
Sally: But I don’t want to write down the amount without seeing the actual paperwork. If I’m gonna get in trouble for errors now, I don’t want to take down what could be the wrong dollar amount over the phone. I mean, I think that’s only fair to me.
Me: In the instances that were mentioned, they weren’t cases of taking down an amount over the phone. They were instances where we had paperwork or a report to see the amount. We would never write you up if there was a possibility that the office gave you the wrong amount over the phone.
Sally stares at me for a second & turns back to her desk. I turn back to my own work as Sally then calls up the office. I had to deal with her attitude the rest of the day: throwing mail into the mailbox, throwing open the letter folding machine so it made a big bang on the table. I was trying to still be the usual friendly, professional person I am at work; I told her “See you tomorrow” & everything. Sally wouldn’t talk to me unless she had to.
This is when I discovered that Sally has a habit of lashing out at me when she gets in trouble. The first write up involved her trying to drag me under the bus by claiming I’m hostile. This time, it was more personal. See, we do a Christmas gift exchange at the office; we each buy each other a gift. I had searched over & over trying to find something Sally would like. I finally found this desk calendar with gnomes on it (she likes both of these things), so I got it & a couple small items. I open my gift from Sally, & among a few cheap little things, I found…Sally’s own nearly empty bottle of nail polish remover. Wow, this is the thanks I get for not firing you back in Sept with the whole timesheet forgery thing?
& this is where I leave you until Part 2, the conclusion.

1. Birling isn’t mad at Eric for raping daisy but mad he stole money. This shows that capitalism is so cruel that it dehumanises the lower class that are below £50 so reform society to socialism
   
2. This is a war play as during ww1 many capitalist business owners took advantage of the surge in demand for artillery and machinery. So they also took advantage of ww2 but this lead to economic collapse and mass industry closing. This shows greed leads to worse results and using soldiers and human lives as profit leads to even more societal suffering (as seen in the post ww2 recession.
   

This is reflected when the inspector leaves and the birlings celebrate showing they haven’t learnt anything or feel any accountability. Only when the second phone call happens (symboling ww2) do the birlings face the real consequences
This is priestly showing that capitalism will never learn their lesson about and continue to avoid responsibility so society will perpetually suffer in ‘fire blood and anguish’ just like the cyclical structure of the play (starts and needs with announcing an inspector called)The audience relates to these consequences as society suffered exponentially worse as capitalist leaders didn’t help victims of war but instead took advantage of them. Therefore reform to socialism

1. Most students know birling took advantage of Sheila’s engagement for a union with crofts limited for ‘lower costs and higher prices’ as women in Edwardian society were perceived as possessions of their father and husband so could be used for climbing the social ladder.

Yet mrs Birling understands that Sheila has no influence in society apart for her status and outward appearance. This is why Sybil is a ‘rather cold woman’ since she knows women have no power in 1912 patriarchal society so have to give the false allusion they do by acting austere and powerful. She also cleverly teaches Sheila her tactics to have influence and power by acting cold and constantly condemning her saying she ‘shouldn’t say such things’. This isn’t Sybil being a cruel and callous bad mother, but instead acting strict to her child as a loving action to ensure her daughter has the best opportunities in life
In addition, Sybil doesn’t punish Gerald for committing adultery against her daughter. In fact, she’s glad that Gerald returns when she replies to him asking if they don’t mind him coming back with ‘of course not’ revealing she has no negative feeling towards his actions and acts as if she has forgotten what he did. This is because she knows that Gerald is the only way her daughter is going to have any purpose in life. In this patriarchal society Sheila would have no need or influence to anyone, including women. This could be because Sybil herself has had a similar experience with mr Birling as she said ‘men with important work have to spend all their time and energy on their business’. This could show that Sybil is using the euphemism of ‘work’ as she can’t bring herself to accept what Arthur may she done when he wasn’t being attentive to her and instead his ‘business’. The audience feels empathy to her because Sybil understands the significant gender inequality but has to accept that men aren’t faithful. She can’t ‘protest’ as that would physically ruin her life. Women couldn’t get divorces or have any dominance in their marriage so could object to any of their husband’s action. This is why sybil dismisses Gerald’s affair to save her daughter from ruining her life.

1. Women can only express power through clothes. Birling says ‘but- well, a sort of sign or token of their self respect’ this shows that women are objectified to how they present themselves with answers the question to why Sheila got eva fired from Millard’s. Sheila would have appeared less dignified or respected compared to beautiful Eva so she had to get rid of the competition. Patriarchy has such an oppressive grip on women that has manipulated them to believe their appearance is the only symbol of their ‘self respect’

2024: Post #75 Watched April 30th On the Shameless Entertainment Blu-ray IMDB Directed by: Michele Soavi Written by: George Eastman, Sheila Goldberg TSZDT: 495 TSPDT: Unranked
90 minutes. A slasher with all of the fun tropes made by someone who studied under Argento for years and shares his flare for exciting visuals. Also, a film that is not afraid to lean into the silliness and have fun with the genre in a way Argento was never quite able to.
In interviews, Michele Soavi talks about how he was just always a fan of horror films, and it certainly shows in his debut feature. Deliria aka Aquarius aka Stagefright is a film that ends up being fun as hell and is one everyone should watch who enjoys a good slasher. It’s clearly made by someone with a deep appreciation for the genre, but he also makes something that lives well within the confines of the genre while being fully something that is his own. Maybe because it’s Italian, but it borrows a little from Gialli as well. But the overarching mood is fun, and Soavi sets out to make a horror flick that is a great time.
Horror fans already know, as this is seen as the 495th best horror film of all time. But surprisingly this is not anywhere on They Shoot Pictures. I’m assuming it’s just because of access, the movie desperately needs an upgraded 4K release, or at least a major blu-ray in Region A.
Anyways, so what is this movie? It all takes place as a theater troupe prepares for an upcoming opening night. The director loses it and locks them all in the theater, saying they can’t leave until they get everything right. Bad luck for them, a deranged killer is also out in the wild and sneaks into the theater before the doors shut. With the doors closed and the keys lost, the actors and crew become easy pickings for the bloodthirsty killer, and some elaborate costumes in the play make it even more difficult to discern the predator from the prey.
It’s a straightforward slasher, but has so much happening visually, and a great soundtrack, that time flies by. I’ll be watching the first four movies from Michele Soavi and he sets the bar extremely high here. Cannot wait to get into his golden era before he went back to television full time.

Hi! So my friend used to do my hair in her salon for a good price, but we’re not longer on that level anymore. I’m stuck with brassy hair grown out level 9 roots and just a bunch of different colors going on. I’ve tried toners, and purple shampoo. I’m a single parent and just in a really tough season, so I need to figure out how to fix it at home. My natural hair is really dark, but dark hair washes me out and makes my nose look longer and really shows all of my not so great features. What would you suggest I do?

Hey there, bros! I hope you're all doing well. So, here's the deal: I'm an 18-year-old guy, and I've been struggling with my weight for years. I used to be a very skinny kid, but now, unfortunately, I'm just a fatso, tipping the scales at 90kg. This isn't a case of being skinny fat either—I'm genuinely overweight, and it's something that's been bothering me for a long time.
I really need some huge, strong advice on how to get fit as soon as possible. I don't care if it's hard to do; I'm willing to put in the work and make the necessary sacrifices. I'm ready to transform my life and get back to a healthy weight, but I need a solid plan to follow. So, if you have any powerful tips, strategies, or routines that can help me achieve my fitness goals, please share them. I'm committed to doing whatever it takes, no matter how challenging it might be.

How far up would you position centerbacks (and goalies) in a 2-3-1 when attacking in the opponent's third?
I'm going to be asst. coaching my kid's 3rd grade competitive team next year and so I was trying to pay attention to her last game of the season, and I realized they had the CBs on the build out line near the opposition striker while attacking the opponent's penalty area. What little I've researched suggests that CBs would usually push up to the halfway line, so I was surprised, but I guess it does make a certain amount of sense treating the BOL line as the halfway line due to the 7v7 offside rule. On the other hand, the CBs were so far from the attack they weren't even there to take a picture.
So, would you encourage the CBs to stick to the BOL and mark the striker, or push up? My instinct would be to tell at least one to push up to back-passing range (not that there's much passing at this age).

Im 30 yro (f) So l've been what I consider recovered for over eight years, I had a small restricting relapse about 3 months ago due to the loss of my boyfriend of eight years and I was able to get myself together and get back on track. I'm at a healthy weight right now but three months ago during my relapse I was teetering on the low end of healthy. I ended up going home because I lived many states over and needed a break and to be around family and not by myself. My mom has been shoveling food down my throat and l'm having soooo many intrusive thoughts about restricting that it's getting scary and I don't want to end up back in my ed. What can I do to make the thoughts stop? It's constant calorie counting, every time 1 feel hungry I start debating should 1 eat or not, I'm starting to like the empty feeling again and it's quite frightening because know where this leads me. I have been looking at old pictures and longing to be back thin while also being disgusted at how unhealthy and sick I looked. I just am tired. What do I do?

When I first got to this assignment, I was upfront with my ratesenior rater about where I was at. I wanted to continue serving, but I was a promotion risk, and I was willing to do what it took to overcome it so I could VTIP into a functional area branch. My team and I had a great. We innovated and implemented new systems, policies, and changes. Our team was recognized multiple times by higher headquarters for doing great things. Somewhere in there, I was a victim of my success when a higher headquarters unit tried to recruit me to work for them. I only learned about the event after my SR blew up about organizations attempting to steal his people again and that I worked for him at a meeting one day.
Around January, I asked my rater if I could get a close-out evaluation for the board. I don't hear anything back until after my board file closes. Then, "Hey, MC. Boss' profile is tight. Keep doing great things, and we'll take care of you". We stay on course, another big event happens and I get a false sense of security that I'm going to be okay. S1 shows up to my office one day and tells me that a [undesirable, high optempo] unit down the street needs help and asks if I want to go there to get the evals I need. I've seen this story too many times before and know that ain't happening, so I decline the offer. I elected to talk to the SR directly because I was unhappy that they sent the S1 to deliver the news on their behalf.
During the discussion, the boss gave me the evaluation—MQ write-up with exclusive enumerations and potential, but an HQ block check. Despite being the most senior officer by 2-3 years in his organization, he needs to take care of his junior captains in K/D because "Non K/D doesn't weigh as much" despite me filling an O4 slot as an O3 while simultaneously acting as an OIC for two subordinate battalions. My rater talks to me afterward; he appeals to my ego, citing injustices of the Army promotion system and how he wishes we could promote everyone. I already know he's trying to manipulate me. I play the fool and focus on getting out of his office ASAP. Before I left, he let it slip that the boss had to take care of two other officers, who were fresh from CCC and needed the evals more than me.
I decided to use some leave and left work. During the drive home, it has hit me how shitty this situation was. Especially when the rater name-dropped the two people who beat me out. I never thought highly of those people. I perceived them as unit "party planners," as they only planned social events, gossiped too much, and undermined our core mission. I know corporate Army culture over values this behavior, but I always tried to negate it by being active, productive member of the team instead. To make matters worse, I reached out to that contact who tried to pull me up to their headquarters. I told them what happened. That officer then said to me that if I had gone up to his headquarters, their Chief of Staff had a dummy thick profile for Captains and offered to try to move me up there again after my SR leaves in a few weeks.
As I sit here on leave, this whole situation sucks. I feel so invalidated. It just feels like my chain of command doesn't respect my team's contributions and everything we've done. Here we are doing great things, but none of it matters because "its not a K/D assignment". Having the knowledge that they blocked a transfer that could've helped me ascend twisted the proverbial knife in my chest. So, not only did they negatively impact my career, but they used my accomplishments to better their chances for promotion. Especially given that at the end of the rating period before they PCS, they say, "Why not go to the shittiest, most toxic unit on post instead?"
I decided to go on leave for a week, but like, jfc. Why bother to try so hard if none of this matters?

Hello all,
I currently need some advice on how to go about this.
I’ve been dating this guy who I met on Hinge for a little more than a month and a half now. Things were going pretty well until his ex girlfriend was brought up. He had plans from a few months ago to see her for his birthday next week. He canceled the trip since he met me however, I came across her Twitter. She told me that they were still together when he was on Hinge back in March. She also told me that he’s been keeping in contact with him and even knew where he was this past weekend which was at his parents house. She told me he shared his location with her. When I asked him about it he said they ended months ago and told me he began sharing his location with her over a year ago and forgot to turn it off. She also knew about the dates we’ve gone on and said he posted a picture of us on his Instagram story one time. However, he told me he had deleted Instagram and no longer used it. I searched his account up and found it. But it’s on private. When I brought this up to him he told me that what she said wasn’t true and she probably knew where he was cause again, he was still sharing his location with her. If you read through her tweets, all she talks about how he’s still begging for her to stay in his life. He claims everything she’s saying is a lie, she’s psycho, and bitter. He also claims that he doesn’t talk to her anymore and has her blocked on everything but for some reason, I don’t believe him. I refuse to believe she still tweets about him this much for no reason without them still being in contact. He tells me that this is her way of “sabotaging ” his new relationships or whatever. I feel like ever since this has been brought up, he’s been acting different towards me. He claims that he only has eyes for me and blah, blah, blah but this just makes it difficult to believe that. I’m not sure what to do at this point, but if you were in my position what would you do? Believe her and leave him? Or believe him and look past this?

... and in the final book she published, Ramona was nine years old in 1999.
So if I'm trying to imagine what the main character is up to now, should I be picturing Ramona Quimby, Age 34, or Ramona Quimby, Age 73?
It is actually genuinely wild how much of a difference those dates make to the kind of life I can picture for that character.

hello RItards, i wanted to make a shot at a "legends of ren zu" for fang yuan inspired by a similar post the other day. plz give constructive critizism (is that how you spell it?) cuz i want to write more of this in the-legends-of-ren-zu style, and i want to make it a banger.
​
once upon a time, there was a human from another world.
"i want eternal life!" said the human
"oh otherwordly demon, eternal life is not here. you must find it for yourself." said cognition gu
"very well then, i will travel the world and find eternal life." said the human
"hehe, otherwordly demon. how can i let you leave so easily? stay here and you will have family, friends and riches." said rules and regulations gu.
rules and regulations gu bound the human with chains, but the human could not see them
the human was confused, and was stuck on the mountain for many years. he had gained family, friends, and riches over time
but he was not satisfied.
"i must leave this place! but how can i break these chains?"
hope gu came to the human, saying: "oh otherwordly demon, i will give you enlightenment. use it well and you can leave this mountain."
hope gu gave the human enlightenment, and he was able to see rules and regulations' chains and break free from them.
"these chains stopped me for so long, but they were like paper all along. but now that i can leave, where should i go?"
fear gu and cowardice gu emerged, saying: "oh otherwordly demon, where is safe? there are predicaments everywhere, how can we survive? we are safe here, let us just stay."
the human scared, saying: "you are right, let us stay for a while longer."
"fear gu is not your friend! he is the friend of rules and regulations and cowardice gu! said cognition gu.
"you are right! but how can i defeat fear gu! what will rules and regulations do to me if i defeat it?" said the human
the human thought and thought. and grew more and more scared.
"you must hide fear gu deep within your heart! that way it will never leave, but it can never harm you!" said cognition gu.
the human hid fear gu deep within himself, and left the mountain.
the human encountered myriad predicaments, he had to eat bark and grass and drink muddy water to live outside the mountain.
a gu emerged, saying:
"oh otherwordly demon, i am your friend survival gu. with me around, we can thrive in this place!"
"you are not survival gu, you are cowardice gu!" said the human.
"oh otherwordly demon. dont you know cowardice and survival are brothers?" said survival gu.
​

Hello everyone! This post is more of a rant, so I feel it's necessary to clarify upfront that I love The Sims 3 and genuinely enjoy it. I feel it offers an immense amount of possibilities that make playing super interesting. Recently, I re-downloaded The Sims 3 after years because I now have a computer that (I thought) would allow me to play it the way I always wanted (Radeon RTX 6700 XT, Ryzen 7, and 16GB of RAM).
Surprisingly, despite my specs, all the NRaas mods, the Smooth Patcher, and the Graphic Card Recognizer, the game remains highly unplayable. Even though I use the Save Cleaner to clear the cache and periodically reset the town to clean up leftover items, my game still struggles.
My current household consists of two adult Sims, three teenagers, a Plumbot, and a pet, and the game freezes and lags a lot. Worst of all, I have to save the game every ten minutes, hoping not to encounter the dreaded Error 12, which usually appears about an hour into gameplay and forces me to close without saving, often losing, luckily, around 20 minutes of progress. And I say luckily because you could loose a lot more.
It's a nightmare. It really saddens me that such a beautiful and fun game is so unplayable because I truly love it.
How do you all deal with this? Is there something I'm doing wrong?

Hey thanks for this app, it’s quite good. I see some already bringing up how created bots don’t respond so I won’t mention that. Only thing id ask is if there could be options to watch short ads for the pictures instead of pay membership. I have a few games that use this model and it seems to work for them, the bonus is youd get more users because they wouldn’t have to pay membership. Just an idea, thanks!