I thought it might be useful to lay out some of the more credible sounding comments and discussion I've seen around "the end" of Giuseppe's career and his disappearance. Nothing here is "officially verified", but I think there's a fair bit of truth in a lot of the information here, and might help point anyone who's interested in the right direction to a better understanding of his story. I've included the ones that make more sense to me/ reflect my own knowledge of the situation.
Giuseppe was living around Canandaigua, NY towards the end, staying with Mary's parents in her childhood home for a period, after they both had left Austin for unknown reasons. I would imagine the reasons would have likely been mental health and/ or money related for both of them (he was approximately 36 years old, at this point). Mary was still shipping movies out for a while around this time - the last order I placed on the website myself was November of 2014 and ended up emailing back a couple weeks later, because she had never sent me any information about receiving the order / shipping it out, in contrast to all earlier orders I had placed. She replied pretty quick though, and told me she had shipped it out earlier - it arrived about a week after. The return address was her parent's place in upper state NY.
Giuseppe's output got increasingly erratic and bizarre over the next couple years, and I wasn't really sure if half the items he was selling there were even real... they would have completely nonsensical descriptions, often like a free association / shitty "beat poetry" kind of thing, usually in all caps, featuring lots of bizarre and offensive language (racial slurs, AIDS references, etc), and the products listed were often things like a "3 minute DVD" for 20 dollars, so I was pretty skeptical / really didn't have much interest. He'd announce a ridiculous amount of new material, I'm talking like 5 new movies and 5 albums every week... The last order I made was for a few of the Austin films and I really didn't enjoy them, and more or less lost interest in any future projects at this point. I would still check periodically just to see what he was posting to the site, just out of curiosity / because a lot of it was really out there. He used to have audio samples for his "albums", and he almost exclusively was posting CDs of him ranting (with a ton of very weird throat clearing and coughing, it almost seemed like a Tourettes thing). His site went down somewhere between March 23, 2017 and July 3, 2017 according to Internet Archive. I can't remember exactly when he stopped adding new items, but it was probably sometime in early 2017.
He was clearly living in and around Canandaigua for a while, for at least 2-3 years, maybe even longer...
February 2017 - a twitter account called "HELP GIUSEPPE" was created and made three posts:

@ thecampaignbook Shia, G.A just came into my local bar needing help. he was stressin bad. hes in canandaigua NY and just stormed out of here
@ AdamRifkin G.A just stormed into my local bar, made it half way through the set up of this account and stormed out. needing you it seems.
@ EdwardNorton Giuseppe Andrews just came into my local bar very alarmed/needing a friend and help.

July 5, 2020 - a YouTube video entitled "What Happened to Giuseppe Andrews? A Short Investigation" is posted, some of the comments that were posted include:

(approx: 2021) I live in a small town called Carlin.. it’s literally 24 miles from Elko Nevada.. back in may of 2019 I was working at a small casino.. Giuseppe would often frequent the casino.. I worked the graveyard shift so it was mostly quiet.. he was polite and even remembered my name and would always ask me how I was.. I was able to get him to take a selfie with him and he even drew some artwork for me.. he told me that I could sell the artwork if I wanted to and fetch a decent price for it.. my husband and I were in the process of buying our first house and I told him no I would frame it and it would be proudly displayed.. he almost started tearing up..I’d happily upload the photo if YouTube would let me..
The same commenter also mentioned, responding to a comment about Detroit Rock City: yeah that was a good movie.. it’s really sad how his life played out.. he told me some sad tales of what he went through

> In early 2018 a man rang my doorbell in Canandaigua, NY. He was disheveled and seemed out of it\*. He started yelling at me “I am Giuseppe Andrews, a Hollywood actor. I need you to call the police. “ I was startled and a little afraid but I told him to wait outside and I went in and called 911. He waited on my lawn and the police arrived in about 5 minutes. He spoke to the police in the car and then walked away. I don’t really live within walking distance of anywhere so not sure where he was going. I tried to obtain info from the police about what was going on but was not told anything. Has remained a mystery all these years later and I think people ( other than my neighbors who witnessed it) don’t believe me when I tell the story. Strange but 100% true.***
Some other interesting comments from various accounts, talking about the last stuff he was posting publicly:
> On his YouTube before he start d doing 13 albums in 2 weeks, his gf released a video a bunch of videos that was 4 or 5 hours long of him ranting on a couch with a guy. I think she was documenting it. I wish I would of downloaded it.
> And the next day it was all gone the footage, I have signed copys of DVDs and posters and shit he sent me in the mail.

(A reply from another commenter) - I remember he went on a long rant about various people in Hollywood and whatnot. Someone mentioned him having schizophrenia/paranoia, and while I'm in no way a psychologist or medical professional, it did seem like things were getting progressively more bizarre and unhinged. Given how creative and abstract he was when he initially started with his film making and music, I think it masked what was actually going on ( whether it was drug use, the onset of some sort of mental illness, or a mix of the two ). Earlier on he was still eccentric but seemed more lucid and driven with what he was doing.

> From what I've gathered (also a fan from DRC and Cabin Fever) his mother committed him to an institution and when released, he went to live with his mother. The twitter chick claims to be his fiancé now and he's no longer with Mary. But who knows.

It would turn out that Andrews also suffers from some very severe issues. Having chatted with his mother Giuseppegirl informed me that he has recently been placed in a mental health facility and has begun a 6 month stint in there where he has no access to the internet or anyone other than family members. He had a break up with his wife Mary Beth, who appears in a lot of his films, so it's possible that this is what put him over the edge. I've talked with Adam Rifkin who says he has some of Giuseppe's rarer films, but hasn't talked with the man for a few years now. That's as far as I have gotten in the rabbit hole.

A bigger YouTube channel made a video about Giuseppe's disappearance, titled "What Happened to Giuseppe Andrews? Internet Mysteries", posted Nov. 11, 2021:
(this commenter is different from account who made the earlier comment about ringing the doorbell in NY):

This dude showed up at my parents house 3 years ago in the middle of the night, asking for help and saying he needed to be let in. Absolutely no way was that happening. Long story short we found out after the fact that he was a character in Detroit Rock City & American History X some of my favorite movies
The last video of him I saw was a crazed rant of him yelling about censorship of art. He was real angry and cursing in a vlog style video. I think some people were criticizing him for use of racist language in his films I’m not exactly sure but I saw snippets of his rant and then the video was taken down a month later along with everything else.

1 year ago:
> He currently lives in Elko Nevada after having a schizophrenic break he still lives with his loving mother part time and she takes care of him. I see him around town a lot and only recently found out that he is Giuseppe Andrews. I can answer most questions if you’re curious.
There was also an interesting thread about 4 years ago, on a different subreddit:
https://www.reddit.com/RedLetterMedia/comments/gal55x/giuseppe_andrews/
A few of the more interesting remarks:

After his California days he spent a few years around Austin making films that mostly just starred himself and his wife Mary. Some of these are really good but his minimalism and experimentation are pushed to the limits here. Some are absolute garbage. After this there was a short stint in upstate New York with this same kind of limited style. Shortly into this cycle things for weird then he disappeared. Right before he disappeared he was posting a lot of troublesome content and releasing TONS of music and films with nonsensical names like "fffff" which would be followed up with "fffffffff". I haven't seen any of this stuff.

> I remember the New York era where things kinda went off the deep end. He released a lot of content where he talked a lot. There was quite a few where he would mention that he was desperately trying to reach out to John Frusciante
Has anyone else stumbled across any comments out there, that support this general narrative / add additional context, or perhaps give reason to believe something a bit different? In particular, towards the end with his site and the long drawn out "spoken word albums" / posts he would make? I listened to some of the audio samples when they were on the site years ago and some of it was unbelievably weird, like he was in a totally dissociated state, talking to people who weren't actually there. There were a couple specific celebrities he was "talking to" quite often, John Frustiante was one for sure, and another guitar player from a relatively small band I can't remember now (I looked them up at the time and thought it was particularly weird, as they were like a small time college rock band who had broken up years prior).
One thing I do remember quite distinctly was I was quite surprised when a shot of Giuseppe on a playground with a man and woman in upper state NY was posted to Instagram, a short while after his website went down. If I remember correctly, they were musicians and the caption said something to the effect that he was helping them film a video. At this point I thought he was more or less completely out of it based on what he'd been posting to his website, so I was really surprised that he had connected with some strangers to actually do something like that, but I don't believe there was ever any follow up posts. I haven't been able to find that post since, if anyone ever remembers seeing that, and who the couple were that would be unbelievably helpful to me!
From the bits and pieces that have come out, I feel like I can stitch together a bit of an understanding of how things might have gone down over the last decade, but a lot is still very speculative to an extent. I'm really curious if anyone out there can corroborate some of these stories in any way, or add any additional information!

Some of what I’ve read on here most definitely isn’t normal. Writing this because I keep seeing posts from people who’ve recently become parents (or are welcoming a second or third child) struggling with how much they’ve been fighting with their partner. I’m a mom of two, I’ve been with my husband for 12 years and married for 6. We have a 4 year old and a 4 month old. We have never fought as much as we do in the first 6 months of our kids lives. We argue over who’s more tired, who has more time to themselves, our extended families, adjusting to new dynamics, parenting styles etc. Our marriage has now weathered 2 ‘roommate’ seasons and this shit is hard. The key difference though is that even when we have these arguments, we still respect and love each other. We’re still rooting for each other and trying to figure out how to support each other. We’re still on the same team, essentially. I see a lot of new parents, mostly women, struggling with the imbalance of caring for a newborn. If you and your partner both decided to have a child I don’t believe that the care of that child should rest solely on one person, it’s too hard. Being a stay at home parent is a legitimate job in itself. Whether you’re doing that while on leave or permanently, you deserve breaks and support. I’m alarmed by the posts where I see people ask if it’s normal for your spouse to call you names, belittle you, offer you zero support or sharing of the parental load. That’s not typical new parent arguing, that’s a shitty partner. Of course, this is all just my opinion but I had to share my perspective and hopefully it makes a difference to anyone that’s wondering what’s ‘normal’ or acceptable.

Memory transcription subject: Captain Sovlin, Federation Fleet Command
Date: [REDACTED]
The force assembled at the outskirts of the Skaven home system was larger than any I had ever seen. It was a rainbow of ships, each decorated with different colors and symbols communicating their allegiances. I kept one eye on the Glorious display of interspecies cooperation as I looked to my first officer.
“Wow Recel.” I said with mirth. “Just… Wow! I know I asked you to bring reinforcements, but did you really have to drag along half the federation?”
Recel didn’t respond right away. He looked past me, out into the infinite void and scratched his head, seemingly deep in thought. But then, he snapped out of it and turned his gaze to me with a proud expression. “It just seemed like the right thing to do sir.”
I couldn’t help but agree. This battle would surely go down in history as one of the federation’s greatest victories, accomplished through the cooperation of the herd. “Indeed.” I simply replied before transmitting to the Fleet. “All hands, Full speed ahead!”
Thrusters lit up across the formation as we advanced, the Skaven homeworld coming into view. The bridge crew was tense, but I didn’t share their worry. As far as I was concerned the battle was already won, superweapon or otherwise.
A beep from the sensor station notified us that the Skaven ships had come within range of our scanners. As images of the predator vessels were distributed across the fleet, there was a collective sigh of relief. They were much fewer in number this time, only a handful of freighters and a few dozen fighters. The Flagship was at the head of the formation, but crucially, the bell on top was still broken. Clearly, Kalsim’s sacrifice had not been in vain.
With this new information in mind, I addressed the fleet once more. “Looks like this will be easier than we thought. Maintain dispersed formation, I don’t want any surprises.”
“Captain!” The crewmate Manning the sensor station spoke up. “We’ve got more detailed scans of the Predator fleet. The flagship… it’s absolutely packed with life-forms! Same goes for the freighters.”
An evacuation effort? Then why were they headed right for us? They couldn’t possibly get past this many guns. “Ready weapons, I want them shot down as soon as they’re in range. Don’t let them get away.”
However, just before we reached effective weapons range, an alarm rang out. Recel checked his pad and read out a report. “Predator sighting in the Engineering deck! We’re under attack!”
“What?!!” I exclaimed. The Fleet’s communication channels became flooded with chatter, similar reports coming in from across the formation. A hunch began forming in my mind. “Sensors! Give me an update on those lifesigns!”
The crewmate squinted at his screen. “They’re… gone! The ships are empty!”
“Teleportation.” I deduced. “So that’s their gambit.” I drew my pistol from its holster, prompting the rest of the bridge crew to do the same. “All hands! Prepare to repel boarders!”
Superior Skryre Thought-Memory transcription subject: Oivit, Gojid Exterminator
Time-Date: The Grand-Great Deception
My squad took cover at the edges of the hallway, and we raised our rifles and flamethrowers at the Bulkhead in front of us. The poor engineers on the other side had managed to seal them just before being overwhelmed by the predators, giving us time to set up a defense at the natural choke point. This in turn would allow the command crew to fortify the bridge even further, but I naturally hoped that we would be able to repel them here.
Not long after we had taken positions, a green jet of energy appeared in the bulkhead’s side, beginning to cut a rectangular opening through the thick metal. We aimed at the center of the nearly completed portal, but suddenly the cutting stopped just short of completion. What were they-
BWOOSH
A fiery explosion tore open the bulkhead, destroying the neatly carved lines and causing the edges of the barrier to bend out, like a metallic flower. Despite the protection our cover and fireproof suits afforded us, the explosion rattled us, and we simply cowered behind our defenses for several seconds.
I was the first to cautiously peek out at the smoking remains of the boundary. A predator in red armor staggered through the opening, seemingly as shell-shocked as we were. I remembered my training and brought my rifle to bear. With plenty of time to aim, I fired a burst of plasma through the damned thing’s head, killing it instantly.
This galvanized the other predators, and a barrage of thin streaks of lightning rushed out at us from beyond the Bulkhead. We returned fire, but with the dense smoke we couldn’t tell whether we were inflicting casualties. As the blind firefight continued with no casualties on our side, I thought we’d be capable of holding them here until reinforcements arrived. But it wasn’t long before something besides energy blasts began to rush through the opening.
A wave of gangly predators rushed through the breach. Their scurrying quadrupedal run kept them mostly below the continued fusillade, but some were inevitably scorched dead when the shot reached too low, or a predator head too high. Our flamethrowers were ready for them however, and quickly spat a torrent of fire in their path. The front rank of creatures tried to stop at the last second, but the momentum of those behind them was too great, and they were either trampled underfoot or pushed directly into the inferno.
The charge was fully incinerated, yet a few of the burning predators continued their charge by sheer momentum alone, crossing the short distance between themselves and the flamethrower team, and plowing into them in their frenzied death throes.
More elite predators moved up in the wake of the devastated assault, brutes in red armor firing their lightning guns at us. The firefight quickly grew much more intense, both exterminators and Skaven killing each other at a rapid pace.
A group of creatures in black rags rushed out from behind their armored fellows, tossing primitive throwing weapons at us as they went. One of them struck me in the arm, piercing through my suit and leaving a small cut. Unbothered by the glancing hit, I raised my rifle to return fire, but suddenly found that I couldn’t feel my limb, nor pull the trigger.
As the strange numbness spread, I lost my balance, falling to the floor in a limp heap. I watched helplessly as my comrades lost ground, and the rearmost part of our formation turned and ran. The savage beasts hollered with bloodlust, giving chase.
As they disappeared around a corner, a new group of predators emerged from the broken bulkhead. One of their ‘Grey Seers’, accompanied by a multitude of servants. They looked more like cargo wagons than living beings, each hunchbacked from the weight of the numerous packs and crates they carried.
Their leader looked around at the walls before pointing one out, and another predator carrying a multitude of tools went up to it and unscrewed one of the panels covering it. Discarding the panel, it pulled up a strange green drill, and began digging through the thick layers of armor, quickly carving out a cavity in the side of the hull.
As it climbed in and continued drilling, the other predators followed suit. To my horror, I and several of my dead squadmates were picked up and brought along, dragged into the newly created space. Still paralyzed, I could only despair as they picked up the metal panel, sealing the tunnel behind us.
( - - - - - - - - - - )
The Extermination fleet breathed a sigh of relief as their ships managed to repel their boarders one by one. With the assault repelled, they moved into orbit of their target and unleashed their countless weapons upon the planet, bringing the End Times to the Old World.
After the annihilation was confirmed, the vessels of the fleet separated, each charting a course back to their native systems. They returned as heroes, massive celebrations held on every planet in the federations to glorify the monumental victory. And while the people celebrated in the streets, the Shadow Caste began work on their latest propaganda campaign, intending to convince future generations that the ‘Skaven’ had never existed.
As the military vessels were abandoned by their reveling crews, hunchbacked shapes emerged not long thereafter. Creeping out of cargo bays and maintenance hatches, they would briefly sniff the air to ensure the coast was clear, before scurrying off into the wilderness. There they dug holes, at first only cautiously. But it wasn’t long before they began to expand, tunneling beneath the very cities they had avoided.
They did not stop there. Camouflaged rafts were constructed, populating the abandoned oceans with dozens of ramshackle, barely floating warrens. Some snuck aboard Arxur raiding vessels when they arrived, in order to settle the planets said vessels returned to. The particularly bold began to kidnap small numbers of surface dwellers, using them as slaves, food, or the test subjects for grotesque experiments.
When they finally amassed the resources, massive antennae were erected, laced with green crystal and hidden underground, powerful enough to penetrate the crust of their respective planets. With these, encoded signals could be sent between the infested planets. Some messages were declarations of cunning, might, or other forms of superiority. Some were threats, wishing death and destruction upon rivals several lightyears away. But most were devoted to coordinating various plots, with one plot in particular standing far above the rest.
The Galactic Vermintide, to gnaw at the entire galaxy until it belonged only to the Skaven.
First - Previous

Sorry if this is a bit disjointed and long, there's a TL;DR at the end. I just had my LEEP on Thursday and wanted to share my experience. Hopefully this soothes a fellow over-thinker.
Background: 30 yr old female, 130 lbs, 5'2". No moderate, severe or chronic health conditions.
I was diagnosed with high-risk (HR) HPV with LSIL/abnormal cells in February of this year. Not 16/18, but another HR strain. I got at least one shot of the HPV vaccine before I turned 26 so I was really shocked at this. I had a complete emotional breakdown because of the connection to HPV and cervical cancer, plus I just felt....dirty. I've gone through my sexually active years without getting as much as a yeast infection, and now I had just been hit with an STI, and the one that causes cancer. I went into a pretty deep depression and honestly I'm still in that depression zone but not nearly as much. I did a ton of research and my findings told me that even if it was cancer, it's one of the most curable ones especially given my age, health, etc.
My primary doctor referred me to a gyno's office connected to the hospital I go to, and I scheduled an appointment for March 1st. Gyno (who was actually not an OBGYN but an APRN/midwife?) basically did a slightly more advanced exam/questionnaire then I got another referral to an actual OBGYN for a colposcopy and scheduled it for April 1st. I thought I would have the colpo/biopsy with the APRN during my March appointment but I guess that's just a "yeah your primary is right you need a colpo" step. Idk, very confusing.
April 1st comes, the doctor that was available for that date (I wanted to get this done asap) had some less than favorable reviews on the internet so that made me a little uneasy. Between each appointment I was spending hours researching, redditing, googling, youtubing etc. so I wouldn't go into this completely ignorant and hopefully minimize the chance of any BS being pulled.
My doctor was, to my surprise, very chill, professional and knowledgeable. Took time to answer all my questions, we even had some laughs. Please ladies, find a doctor that makes you feel comfortable if you can. No question is a silly question and no doctor or nurse should make you feel like you're stupid for raising concerns or asking a lot of questions. If you feel something is off or a doc is being an a-hole, that's your sign to GTFO and find another doctor. Pleasant staff make this experience so much better.
The colpo: wasn't that bad. They crack you open like a pistachio with a speculum (like they would use for pap smear) and take a look at your cervix with this scope. A vinegar solution is applied to highlight the abnormal cells. My doc's colpo machine did have a screen that could show me what he was seeing, although it wasn't working and honestly I'm glad. I think seeing what was going on inside of me would make me worry more. So I just had to take my doctor's word for it when he said the area of abnormal cells was small.
I had a punch biopsy done during my colpo and oh man. It hurt. I wasn't instructed to take ibuprofen beforehand. I'm not sure if they didn't think I would need a biopsy or what but holy crap. 2 samples were taken, at 12 o'clock and 6 o'clock on my cervix, and I received a curettage as well. The curettage didn't hurt or was minor in comparison to the biopsy. After the biopsy, a "liquid bandage" was applied, this bandage is called Monsel's solution I believe. It's a mustard yellow paste.
The biopsy caused immediate moderate cramping and pain. The "6 o'clock" one, which was a larger sample, made me flinch and let out a little yelp. 6 o'clock hurt a lot. I will say that my doctor talked about what he was going to do before doing or as he was doing it so it's not like I was taken entirely by surprise. However, you don't realize how sensitive your cervix is until a chunk is taken from it.
After the biopsy, I felt this dull pain, nausea and cramping and apparently had excessive bleeding. Dribbles of blood were present on the procedure chair and floor, some of which had been cleaned up by the nurse/assistant prior to me sitting up so who knows how much was there. Doc confirmed this excessive bleeding in my after visit summary, but it wasn't so much so that it warranted some kind of emergency. I experienced some spotting for about 2 to 3 days after. I expected more blood in my pads but that never happened. I think seeing all this blood, knowing where it came from and why it was there made me even more nauseous.
The nausea and...weakness after the biopsy really had me messed up. I could barely focus as my doctor went into detail about what to possibly expect afterwards, what he saw (he even drew a little picture of my cervix), answered any questions I had. We said our goodbyes, I got dressed and made a mad dash to the waiting area's water cooler. I figured some cool water would calm my nerves and my stomach. I stupidly walked home after the procedure (I live in Chicago, very close to my doc's office). Nothing terrible happened but in hindsight, what if I passed out in the office, in the street? If you can ladies, have someone with you to get you home safely and for support. Or, at the very least, take an uber after.
After getting home I checked my pad, everything was good although I did have some "coffee grounds" in my pad from the Monsel's solution. The doc warned me about this and to expect it for a few days. I crashed on my couch for a little nap before going to a concert later that evening because I don't know how to take a day off.
The next month following my biopsy was largely uneventful, I did have intercourse about 2.5 weeks post-biopsy with no issues or pain, although the thought of infection and the whole process made it hard to enjoy sex (I healed up just fine so this was more unnecessary worrying). I didn't experience any pain, fever, or excessive bleeding, only some mild discomfort/cramping/lethargy (likely due to mentally stressing myself out) on day 2. I did however, experience one moment that freaked me out:
Day 3 post-biopsy: I got home from after work (my job requires me to be on my feet most of the day) and felt something in my vagina. It felt like a freshly inserted, regular sized tampon. I went to the bathroom, washed my hands and reached down to feel something coming out of me. Something was crowning and breaching my labial gates. I reached back down and slowly pulled out whatever object was in me. It felt like a horror movie. I knew I had inserted nothing.
Based on the feeling of said object, I thought my cervix was falling out of my body. I started panicking a bit. Panicking intensified after pulling out this...sac.
It looked alien. It was this membrane sac, about the size of a pitted date when rolled up. Within the sac contained those "coffee grounds." I knew it was the Monsel's solution and likely I had shed the liquid bandage. That logical thought didn't stop me from freaking out and gently wrapping my alien sac Starbucks trash baby in a piece of toilet paper and further sealing this HPV caused abomination into a Ziploc bag. My plan was to run to the ER and show them the freak I had given birth to.
Problem is, I had just lost my is insurance and was in process of getting a new plan, so a costly trip to the ER, waiting for hours for them to likely tell me I'm a panicky idiot wasn't really in the cards. So what does any overly anxious patient do? Turn to Dr. Google of course! I found a couple of reddit posts from women who had experienced the same thing but there wasn't much information on what had just slithered out of me. I found one of those "pay $5 for any kind of advice: legal, medical etc! Chat with an expert today!" sites that seemed legit enough. I got in chat with a doc quickly after some AI pre-chat prompts and he confirmed my suspicions: it was the Monsel's solution that I had expelled from my body. I was told this wasn't unusual and so long as I don't have an excessive bleeding, fever, pain, blah blah, I should be fine.
And I was fine. If you experience this and don't have any accompanying complications, you should be fine too. It is weird when it happens though.
My results came back about 2 weeks later. What was initially thought to be LSIL turned out to be HSIL/CIN-III, and my OBGYN told me I needed a LEEP sooner than later. My appointment was scheduled for next month and I still didn't have insurance. These month long waits between appointments were anxiety ridden depression fests, fueled by junk food and further exacerbated by internet research. The LEEP posts on Reddit had me so concerned, I reached out to my doctor to see if I could be put under general anesthesia for my LEEP, instead of receiving local anesthesia. Women on here described LEEPs as painful and traumatic. Just awful stuff. If you're reading this you've likely read those too. They described leg shaking after the shots, crying, etc. My doctor left me a detailed voice message and responded to my concerns with: "most women tolerate it well but if you're uncomfortable we'll send you to the hospital and put you under monitored sedation/anesthesia." I was still worried but was willing to see how I felt after local anesthesia. I was pleased he was open to working with me and my comfort level.
Fast forward to Wednesday last week:
The night before my LEEP, I got maybe an hour of sleep. I couldn't turn my mind off. My heart started racing an hour before my procedure and I had weird heart palpitations/irregular heart beat. I showered to calm myself down and be clean for my appointment, took 600 mg of ibuprofen as instructed, then headed out. Got a little snack from Starbucks (croissant for before since I was walking to my doc and some madeleines for after to help offset some potential nausea). For my LEEP I wore a big comfy sweater, some "period" leggings (leggings that aren't too tight and I don't care if they get blood on them) and brought a pad with me just in case. They should provide one for you but I'd rather be prepared. Got to the office, checked in, did the pregnancy urine test, got called in quickly, went through the whole height/weight/med history routine. About 5 mins later I sat down in my OBGYN's office. He described the lab findings (CIN-III), detailed the procedure, the tools and supplies they would use, aftercare and answered any questions I had. He then led me into a procedure room (pretty sure it was the same one I had my bloody biopsy in). I got undressed from the waist down like a pap, sat in the procedure chair, draped a little paper blanket over my bare bits and waited. The doctor came in with his nurse and went to work.
They again cracked me open with a speculum, this time it was rubberized on some parts. This is so your vagina doesn't get fried from the electrical current, otherwise your pubes and vulva will look like Marv in Home Alone. They also slapped a little rubber pad on my thigh to "ground" me like I'm some kind heavy duty machinery. Colpo machine comes forward so the doc can zoom in on your cervix. He applied 2 types of solution if I recall correctly: the normal vinegar solution to highlight abnormal cells and an iodine solution to highlight normal cells. Someone can correct me if that's wrong. The solutions and their uses were the least of my concerns.
He then went in with 4 lidocaine injections to numb the area, total of about 1 ml of lido I think. He used a very small needle and upon insertion, it felt like a little pinch. Now, for those afraid of needles, it is a long ish needle but the actual poke is minimal. Although some women report that the inject was the worst part. That was not the case here but the visual can be a bit alarming. After the first injection, I didn't feel the other 3. I felt comfortable going forward with the procedure, and my doc kept checking in with me to make sure I was ok. I did feel an increase in my heart rate post-lidocaine, but it wasn't concerning. I wasn't sure if this was from the "holy shit he's about to start zapping" or as a side effect of the lidocaine. Regardless, my heart rate came back down to a reasonable level given the circumstances in a few minutes. I was actually so comfortable at this point, I managed to relax my asscheeks after they were clamped together like a vise grip from the moment my derriere hit the chair.
I'm not really sure what happened after the injections, I knew he was using the LEEP machine but I don't know how long that lasted and when the wound was being created vs. cauterized as I didn't feel anything except some mild cramping/discomfort. I didn't flinch like I did with the biopsy. When the doc was finished, he applied a little bit of Monsel's, described how much he removed, went over aftercare again, we said our thank yous and goodbyes. I got dressed and went on my way, snacking on my madeleines on my way home (I walked again lol). I felt well post-procedure and even stopped at Target to do some shopping and smell some summer collection candles. I did feel myself bleeding but when I got home and checked the pad, there was a minimal amount of blood. Some women here have reported a distinct burning smell during their LEEP, I didn't smell anything but I also have sinus issues soooo maybe I just didn't pick up on it? My appointment was at 9 a.m. and I was out by 9:32.
When I got home I had some orange juice, water then slept for about 8 to 9 hours. I did have little cry sessions here and there after my procedure. But I was also sleep deprived and know I tend to get emotional. Regardless, take some time off after a LEEP, stay home around your own germs if possible. Get some of your favorite snacks, a face mask and a Nintendo switch or something. This is a good time for some self-care and rest, girlies.
Friday, day after LEEP: no bleeding, minor cramping/discomfort.
Saturday: Usual morning pee met with some blood in the toilet paper. Nothing in my pad though. Throughout the day I slept on and off, I've been more tired than usual. My body and mind has gone through some shit so I'm not mad at myself for being sleepy. I did experience some heavier bleeding throughout the day that was mostly dark colored. The blood level was about the same if not less than what I'd experience with a period. No unusual smell. I did shed the liquid bandage. Did have some mild cramping at certain points during the day but not debilitating or worth taking ibuprofen over.
Sunday: Energy levels finally back up to something normal, don't feel as tired. Still bleeding dark red blood/brown discharge but it's minor. Ran some errands today, I figured gravity would cause me to bleed more but it's about the same as yesterday if not less.
If there's interest, I'll check in at maybe the 2 week and 4 week mark, or whenever I remember since this is my throwaway account.
Overall the LEEP was way better than the biopsy in my experience. Reddit had me freaking out. I know I'm lucky, and this post isn't to dismiss any terrible or painful experience other women have had. I want to share my 'positive' experience, since most of my mental state surrounding my diagnosis, fears, the upgrade from LSIL to HSIL, has been negative.
Oh and I did get insurance literally a week before my LEEP, thank God.
If you have any questions please feel free to ask them below!
TL;DR: -Colpo: easy -Biopsy: sucks. Most pain I've ever felt and felt nauseous/uneasy after. Ask your doctor if you can take ibuprofen prior to a biopsy. Monsel's solution/liquid bandaid came out in sac-like alien baby about 36 to 48 hours later. Was able to have intercourse 2-2.5 weeks post-biopsy. No insertion of anything for about 3 days after. -LEEP: easy-ish? 600 mg ibuprofen 1 hour before procedure. Anxiety inducing but once I was numbed with local anesthesia, I felt nothing except some mild cramping. The injection didn't hurt and caused no serious side effects. No smell. No excessive bleeding. Felt fine post-LEEP but did experience some bleeding. It's been less than a week so I'll update if anything spooky happens, if no updates then expect everything went fine. No intercourse/tampons/etc for 3 to 6 weeks.
Tips: -Prioritize self care throughout this experience especially. It'll help you stay calm and heal. -Dress comfy for procedures -Take some snacks and water to your appointments for post-procedure ick -Do your research. Knowledge is power even if it makes you uncomfortable. Youtube was a great resource for me, I like to see what's going to happen before it does. Just try not to get worked up like I did. -Ask questions. If a doctor makes you feel stupid, see another doctor if possible. -Have someone with you for support and to make sure you get home ok -If you experience fever, intense pain, soaking through pads, or notice any weird smell: GO TO A DOCTOR

To preface this is a narrative of the fallout lore both established in all the fallout games and many of the popular mods created for both new Vegas, fallout 3 and fallout 4 and a subsequent idea for a fallout 5 title that I wrote and wanted to get opinions on.
If you think this is cool lmk, if you think this sucks lmk. I’m just interested in sharing my own ideas with the wider fallout community.

 From Lone-wanderer to the courier (TTW tie in) 

After the events of Fallout 3, the Lone Wanderer, having no family and no place left to truly call home, gathered up his companions and headed west to start a new life. Over the next 4 years, the Lone Wanderer lived in the west with many of his former companions going their separate ways. The Lone Wanderer began working as a courier, known as Courier 6. There, he had a particularly bad run-in with a man named Benny, who introduced him to a bullet. The damage done to the Lone Wanderer caused him to lose his memories of his past. Thus, he became the courier.
After the events of Fallout: New Vegas, and the Second Battle of Hoover Dam, the NCR's military and infrastructure were severely weakened after destroying the Legion. Sensing an opportunity for mutual benefit the West Coast Brotherhood of Steel reached out to the Mojave chapter, where, under the leadership of Elder McNamera, the NCR and Brotherhood reached an agreement and official peace pact between the two groups, which culminated in the brotherhood becoming an official autonomous part of the NCR.
The West Coast Airship docks within the Strip, which was under the control of the Courier and member of the Mojave chapter. The West Coast reintegrated the Mojave chapter of the Brotherhood of Steel and uses the Strip as a base of operations. Leveraging their advanced technology and military prowess, they quickly gain the upper hand in engagements against the remaining enemies of the NCR.

 The Coming Storm (Dust tie in) 

Some time after the Second Battle of Hoover Dam and the BOS occupation of the strip joint expedition teams of the BOS AND NCR discovered the Sierra Madre Casino, as well as the mysterious and deadly cloud. The NCR and BOS scientists conducted experiments with the Cloud, bringing both massive samples of Cloud Residue and corpses of Ghost People back to the Mojave. Many of these experiments were conducted in a makeshift laboratory set up in the lobby of the Lucky 38 casino. Though the full nature of the experiments are unknown, it is implied that the participants involved were considered criminals to the NCR and the nature of the experiments were brutal, sadistic, and inhumane.
Around the same time, the BOS received reports that a massive sandstorm was approaching New Vegas. They did not share this information with the public, and instead began to outline evacuation procedures.
Five years after the expedition and experiments something went terribly wrong. It is implied that a disgruntled Vault 21 custodian may have intentionally sabotaged the Lucky 38 laboratory, causing a new Cloud to form over the Strip. This cloud was far more lethal and corrosive than the Cloud of the Sierra Madre. The corrosive capabilities even hindered the BOS power armor as the metal would be gradually eaten away by the cloud.
As the Cloud descended upon New Vegas, panic engulfed the Strip and Freeside. Riots and violence broke out. Miss communications between the directives of the BOS and NCR resulted in troopers executing innocent civilians in the streets. In response, the Kings rebelled against the NCR, while also aiding in an evacuation of Freeside, saving countless lives. The Followers of the Apocalypse were forced to abandon the Old Mormon Fort. The Airship of the Western Brotherhood attempted to evacuate all BOS personnel and any relevant technology from the strip before returning to Lost Hills. This resulted in some squads of the BOS being forced to take up residency within the casinos of the strip and vault 21. The NCR locked the gates to the Strip, with all civilians inside. The rebels led by the kings were forced out of and under the city, to the Sewers below. The BOS left in Vault 21 have been desperately trying to chisel away at the concrete within the vault in the hopes of tunneling back to Hidden valley.
NCR troops then dumped radioactive waste into the Sewers to kill any survivors, before fleeing the city themselves. Eventually, the situation became so bad that NCR General Lee Oliver ordered an evacuation of all NCR personnel from New Vegas via the Strip Monorail.
These events nullified the BOS and NCR treaty resulting in BOS forces seizing locations across the Mojave that had the capability to keep them safe from the cloud while also engaging in Guerilla warfare tactics against the NCR.
The city would ultimately fall to the Cloud and to the dust storms that blew in from the West. While some survivors attempted to take shelter in the Strip's casinos they were met with the business ends of BOS laser rifles. Those who did not head for the casinos were not so lucky, as anyone who wasn’t immediately killed by the Cloud became Ghosts and cloud victims, while others died slowly of radiation poisoning and exposure.
While New Vegas fell to the Cloud, a massive radioactive dust storm engulfed the rest of the Mojave Wasteland, causing widespread devastation. Whole settlements and towns were evacuated or otherwise destroyed. One settlement in particular, Goodsprings, was struck by an unknown form of plague, killing most of its residents and turning the once-prosperous community into a Ghost Towns.
Other areas, such as Boulder City, attempted to protect themselves with the same suits worn by Ghost people in Vegas and the Sierra Madre, ultimately becoming trapped themselves. To make matters worse, the Tunnelers from the Divide eventually burrowed through to the Mojave Wasteland, As predicted by Ulysses. causing even more death and destruction. The dust storms blotted out the Sun, allowing the Tunnelers to hunt by day, killing off most of the native animal population in the Mojave.
The effects of the Fall would spread as far out as Zion Valley, where spore carriers from Vault 22 ran wild, alongside another strange, terrible creature, dubbed the Wendigo by the tribals within the valley.
After the fall, little remained of the old Mojave Wasteland. Once-powerful factions such as, The Great Khans, and Powder Gangers were either wiped out or dissolved into roaming gangs of Tribals and Survivors. The Western Brotherhood which had resided in the strips cohesion collapsed as its members lost contact with the surrounding Casinos and vault 21.
Cannibalism became rampant, as people did whatever they could to survive. The NCR remained in control of various locations such as Camp Golf, Hoover Dam, Camp McCarran and Nellis AFB. Those fortunate enough to evacuate the Mojave mostly wound up at Camp Adytum, an NCFollowers refugee center in the Boneyard, however they were quickly drafted and sent to the now ongoing BOS and NCR conflict.
The NCR would eventually launch expeditions into the ruins of New Vegas, presumably to acquire materials left over from the Lucky 38 laboratories. However, none of these expeditions were successful, and the NCR soon abandoned all attempts to return to New Vegas, with only the Royst-Bernard Expedition consisting of rogue NCR scientific and military personnel returning in an attempt to succeed, where regular NCR failed.

 The Patriot at Heart (America Rising 2 tie-in) 

In the aftermath of the events of Fallout 3, the remnants of the Enclave fled north into the Commonwealth where they waited in hiding for 10 years. After the events of Fallout 4, the Lone Survivor helped revive the Enclave and ultimately forced the Institute into being folded into the Enclave, bringing their advanced technology and expertise in synth creation under one banner.
The Enclave embarked on a bold experiment, merging their iconic power armor technology with the synthetic advancements of the Institute. The result was the creation of a new breed of soldiers: Power Armored Synths or PAS.
These hybrid warriors combined the resilience and strength of power armor with the versatility and adaptability of synthetic intelligence. Clad in imposing power armor suits, these Synths were capable of executing complex military maneuvers, engaging enemies with precision and force.
Under the banner of the Enclave, this new army of PAS’s became the vanguard of their expansionist ambitions, striking fear into the hearts of any who knew of their existence. The Enclave took a page from the Institute by beginning to kidnap high-ranking members of the Railroad, Brotherhood of Steel, and Minutemen, replacing them with Synth sleeper agents who would corrupt the organization of the Commonwealth and East Coast Brotherhood to weaken them for an Enclave assault. This culminated in the Enclave assault on the Prydwen, forcing Elder Maxson to retreat back to the Capital Wasteland.

 Fallout 5: Tactics 

The year is 2300, 13 years after the events of Fallout 4.
A squad of the Chicago-based Midwest Brotherhood intercepts a transmission from the East Coast Brotherhood, calling for aid from the West Coast Brotherhood in a last-ditch effort to defend the Capital Wasteland from the Commonwealth-based Enclave assault.
Our character, a Midwest Brotherhood Paladin dubbed the Major, must traverse the Midwest, gaining new allies and attempting to mend the fractured Midwest Brotherhood to aid in the coming conflict. Our character must also fix up a convoy to traverse the wasteland of the Midwest in order to make it to the East Coast. Various quests and side quests will provide the character with allies and further supplies for the coming conflict and further cement the Midwest Brotherhood's position within the region.
Once the player believes they have gathered their small army sufficiently and created their convoy, they embark on a journey towards the East. Along the way, they are intercepted by Enclave and Super Mutant forces. Upon entering into the Capital Wasteland, the general's forces link up with what’s left of the East Coast Brotherhood who have been hiding out in Rockopolis after the Citadel was infiltrated and taken over by the Enclave. DC now acts as the front lines of a war yet again between the Enclave, Brotherhood, and a new faction in the wasteland called the Behemoths, an organized and somewhat intelligent super mutant group led by an intelligent mutant named Osiris, who was once a member of the Master's army. Osiris united the D.C. Mutants and launched his own series of attacks on the Brotherhood when the Enclave took hold of the Citadel.
Along the way, we meet a one-armed Three Dog who barely survived the Enclave bombing of the GNR building but has since set up shop in Broadcast Tower KTB with a small contingent of Brotherhood Paladins who aided against the Enclave, rescuing Three Dog.
As the Major and the elders plot out a plan to assault the Enclave at the Citadel.
Mid west Factions: 1. Brotherhood of Steel (Midwest Chapter): - The player's faction, focused on preserving pre-war technology and knowledge. - Known for their advanced technology and power armor. - Initially, they prioritize their interests but may assist others if it aligns with their goals.

1. Midwest Brotherhood Outcasts:
   
   • A splinter faction of the Brotherhood of Steel, formed due to disagreements over the main Brotherhood's leadership or ideologies.
   • They may possess similar technology and resources as the main Brotherhood but operate independently, sometimes in opposition to their parent faction.
2. Reavers:
   
   • A ruthless raider group terrorizing the Midwest wasteland.
   • Known for their brutality and willingness to pillage and plunder.
   • Considered a major threat to the stability of the region, often in conflict with other factions.
3. The Vikings:
   
   • A raider group modeled after the historical Vikings (with a mixture of the football Minnesota Vikings.)
4. Gammorin's Army Remnants:
   
   • A militant faction once led by the super mutant Gammorin.
   • Composed primarily of super mutants, they seek to establish dominance over the wasteland through force.
   • Viewed as a formidable enemy by other factions due to their strength and aggression.
5. Vault 0:
   
   • A vault inhabited by a powerful supercomputer known as the Calculator.
   • The Calculator once sought to expand its influence and control over the wasteland, posing a significant threat to other factions; however, it was reprogrammed by someone named the Warrior in the year 2197. This effectively deactivated and left the army of robots dormant and sealed away within Vault 0. Their advanced technology and military capabilities make them a formidable adversary and an equally valuable ally if they can only be reactivated and reprogrammed.
6. Tribal Communities:
   
   • Various tribes and communities scattered throughout the Midwest wasteland.
   • They may have their own customs, traditions, and conflicts.
   • Depending on the player's actions, they could become allies, enemies, or neutral parties.

As the player ventures further into the capital wasteland they find that it is now far greener than in the past and wild punga fruit now can be found around the wastes, if the player makes a detour to oasis they will find that Harold has rapidly grown and from the Potomac River (death law sanctuary) in the west to temple of the union in the east is now a lush paradise (that is if it weren’t for all the deathclaws and raiders who stalk the forest.) As Harold/Bob spread, the brotherhood eventually sent out missions to learn more about it, after encountering Linden, they made a formal treaty with the poplars, in which the poplars were given water in exchange for the fresh fruit from the oasis. The brotherhood also helped encourage the trade of Punga with the Poplars to be grown within the oasis to help aid soil development and remove radiation. The poplars now tend the forest and have become somewhat of a nature inspired farming/fire fighting force, having a couple of villages throughout the forest network. However raider gangs also set fire to the trees, (if the player investigates they’ll find out that the enclave is paying the raiders to burn the trees and fight their way in to help destabilize the brotherhoods food supply and trade routes)
If the player chooses to side with the poplars/ Brotherhood the trees will continue to spread at a rate of 1 mile for every 24 real world hours that pass in game.
If the player helps the enclave they will be tasked with infiltrating the original Oasis and burning Harold alive, and the trees will dwindle at the same rate until the oasis is fully gone.

Karen Read acted like she knew O'Keefe was dead before she knew he was dead. Isnt that suspicious to anyone? Be honest with yourselves.
He was a grown man and a police officer. He could take care of himself. According to her statement, she'd dropped him off with friends during a night of drinking. Was it so alarming that he hadn't come home to set her off on this frantic search, with all the screaming and searching?
There had been a snowstorm. Wouldn't one have guessed he'd decided to stay put for the night?
Haven't we all been out and spent the night on a friend's sofa, storm or not?
Is it that much of an emergency that he wasn't home at 5am to set her off that way?
Wouldn't a few phone calls or texts to friends, especially people she'd last seen him with (according to her), have been the normal response?

Karen Read acted like she knew O'Keefe was dead before she knew he was dead. Isnt that suspicious to anyone? Be honest with yourselves.
He was a grown man and a police officer. He could take care of himself. According to her statement, she'd dropped him off with friends during a night of drinking. Was it so alarming that he hadn't come home to set her off on this frantic search, with all the screaming and searching?
There had been a snowstorm. Wouldn't one have guessed he'd decided to stay put for the night?
Haven't we all been out and spent the night on a friend's sofa, storm or not?
Is it that much of an emergency that he wasn't home at 5am to set her off that way?
Wouldn't a few phone calls or texts to friends, especially people she'd last seen him with (according to her), have been the normal response?

Please correct me if I’m wrong.
I think in the beginning right after arrest, most of us became aware that BK was not in the same social circles as the victims, and since they went to different schools there wasn’t a chance of their paths crossing in a student/teacher, classmate type setting.
I think most of us anxiously awaited for a motive of some sort to emerge- how & when did their paths cross? At a party? Had he been stalking them? Did he go into their work consistently to chat them up, and maybe they got tired of it and shut him down hard? Does he have a history of aggression, violence, or an extensive history of mental health diagnoses?
It was prolly around a yr ago that rumors emerged of him contacting some of the victims via insta (or some other SM format), leaving them messages that had gone unseen. I remember Jay is for Justice was the first to report that her ‘sources’ said those rumors were untrue, & it appears she was correct.
SG came out and said that Kaylee was indeed at a pool party, but he was certain it was an indoor pool party & I believe he said JD was with her.
I’m not entirely sure how HIPAA & the law work together; I deal with HIPAA on the regs, and I understand on my end if an officer has a warrant or a court order for someone’s health info, we must turn it over. From that point forward, I dunno what happens with it- if the court must keep it sealed or if the public would have access to it at some point. But- I don’t think there’s ever been whispers about BK having been DX’ed with any concerning mental health condition. As a candidate in the doctoral program I can’t imagine he had any debilitating diagnoses.
Mad Greek has vehemently denied BK having ever been a patron there. The defense, with no rebuttal from the state, has explicitly stated that there is “no connection” to the victims, and although the state certainly tried to imply stalking in the PCA- the 12x his phone previously pinged at odd nighttime hours- there was no evidence of him stalking them.
So what’s all this mean??
Are we to believe that this criminology doctoral student, after having lived in the area just months, with no history of mental health episodes or criminal violence or otherwise alarming criminal history, drove across state lines into a state upholding the DP & randomly selected these 4 students in a house in the middle of campus surrounded by other homes & apartments who at any given moment typically had dozens on dozens of people over, slipped in undetected mere minutes after a DD order was delivered (indicating someone was awake), viciously stabbed 2 victims multiple multiple times, and without tracking blood elsewhere in the house, moves downstairs and does it again, this time up against an athletic male, and again without tracking blood outside the bedrooms, slips past an awakening roomate with a giant unsheathed knife in hand, hops in his car and steals away into the night after less than 10 minutes on his murderous rampage all without getting a speck of dna in his vehicle or outside the home ?
The most damning thing is, what the hell did he do w the knife upon jumping in his car to flee the scene & realizing he had no sheath??
-No history of mental health diagnoses -No connection to victims (if he had contacted any of them previously concerning a drug deal, a date, etc, the defense would not be able to make this claim) -No evidence of stalking
Then. What. The. Fuck.
One of those 3 things needs to be true in order for the state to convince 12 people (or at least me) of his guilt. Motive is imperative in a case with this level of violence & under these circumstances. No one is going to believe that a mentally stable ambitious student with no criminal or unstable mental health history is just gonna wake up one day and decide to stab 4 people he’s never met before to death.
I wasn’t gonna post this, but then I watched a video harsh put out about the chapins hiding something, and thought he made a few solid points. Discuss what you want, but I really don’t care who likes harsh and who doesn’t. That isn’t the point. The point is that I’ve always thought it a red flag that E’s family rarely if ever mention X. It’s like she didn’t exist to them. I suppose it could be easy to write off as them being respectful towards her family or for the sake of the ongoing investigation, but it just never sat well with me.
Then ofc the drug connection was brought up, which is an uncomfortable topic, but one that cannot be ignored.
2 moms/step moms got drug charges days before/after the murders. The Emma Bailey connection. Most people familiar with the house admit to a drug connection. The Uber driver early on said he stopped picking up/dropping off there because of the drugs and wild parties. And please someone tell me what the odds are that the last audible video recording of 2 of the victims is of Kaylee anxiously asking what maddie told to Adam, and maddie exclaiming that she ‘told Adam everything’.
And the last weird key to solving this mystery must be the BLK shooting. In a town that claims to have not had a homicide since what, 2015?? A town that swears it is mostly safe, with minimal violent incidents, has a quadruple slaying followed by a shootout with a veteran a month later & just days before BK’s arrest? This is an army vet from the 82nd infantry; if he wanted to shoot his roomates dead, he’d do it. This wasn’t target practice for him. Yet he injures no one and is still shot dead with a wiped out cell phone & the officials in charge of the investigation saying they have no clue who initially called in to have him swatted. You’d think that might be a priority to find out if you’re gonna shoot and kill a vet, eh?
From the OutsideLooking, it sure does seem like something fishy is going on in Idaho, & at least maybe some of the victims were aware of some sort of drug connection and decided to do something about it that cost them their lives.

I have an appointment with my GP on Tuesday, but I’ve never been for my mental health before. What can I expect? And is there a way to approach it, as I don’t know what treatments options will be available?
I’ve been struggling with feelings of anxiety and panic attacks which make it difficult for me to leave the house. I struggle with simple things such as going shopping, using the bus (or any transport) because in these situations I become overwhelmed and hyper fixated on the idea that I’m in a situation I can’t control and something bad will happen which causes me to have panic attacks. This was happening consistently and has reached a point where I feel I can barely leave the house out of fear of having panic attacks.
This has had a huge impact on my everyday life, relationships with people, and my work. I work in a role that is 3 days from home and 2 days in the office, however I’ve not been in the office for at least 6 months and I have used countless reasons/leave to justify me not being there which I just can’t sustain anymore.
I am constantly either feel frustrated and snappy or on the brink of breaking down. The smallest thing will set me off, whether it be a piece of work that needs dealing with or realising that the milk has gone off when I want a coffee in the morning.
I’m feeling really isolated and I just sit inside all the time doing nothing. I have no desire to upkeep the house anymore or work on hobbies around the house, I spend my weekends in bed just zoned out or mindlessly scrolling through my phone.
I’m at a complete loss and I have finally reached out to my GP. I am worried that all of the above will be dismissed or not taken seriously. I also don’t know what treatment options there are or what I want from the appointment. What was your experience when visiting the GP for the first time for your mental health?

This is a [LF Friends, Will travel] stand-alone story, that assumes no knowledge of the setting.
[First] - [Prev] - [Next]
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Date: 75 PST (Post Stasis Time)
“Yeah, it’s super exciting times! Two non-Terran AI, a Woolean, and a Tritian, finally interacting with us. There’s even been talks of some of the Woolean governments starting to formalize diplomatic relations with the Alliance. Exciting stuff!”
The avian uplift spoke with a measure of excitement, the ex-parrot’s feathers moving with a passion as they spoke about recent events, eyes glinting with excitement as she swung the glass of liquid around before taking a swig of the alcoholic beverage.
The bar was a small thing, more of a place to stay and drink in-between your travels, a tiny little room of bare steel chairs and tables, all lit by dim fluorescent lighting. It didn’t even have a bartender, just a little synthesizer which could create a variety of drinks. Sure, an aficionado of mixology would claim that synthesized drinks just don’t taste the same, but anyone coming to an establishment such as this wasn’t looking for a high class experience.
It was mostly about company while you waited for your ship to fuel on this small Terran owned space station.
“A Tritian? A Woolean I could understand, since they are less aggressive, but a Tritian? How do you get one of those without them trying to kill you?”
The second voice of the three figures sitting at the bar was an unnatural one, tinted with the digital origin of its speaker. The figure was bipedal, but not of an organic nature; instead a 7ft machine of metal, tubes, and wires making it look like something that had been welded together in someone’s backyard. Their ‘face’ was shown upon a single display: A pixelated representation of two eyes and a mouth. The entire form was a clear design choice by the AI inhabiting the body, considering more ‘realistic’ representations were readily available.
Most AI spent their time in a digital form, but a few preferred a more… physical existence. MADHAU5 was such an AI, enjoying the relative quiet and difference in point of view from such a limited perspective. He also held a small glass of liquor in one robotic hand, keeping it perfectly level as he spoke. The AI couldn’t drink it of course, but merely holding it… added to the ambience.
“The AI who brought them along, JOSH, brought a Tritian along without telling anyone when his crew escaped from a Tritian warship.” The avian responded to the question. ”From what I heard, they kept the Tritian in isolation for over ten years!”
“Ooof, you can't do that! I’m surprised that the Tritian AI was willing to cooperate with us after being illegally detained.”
The last voice joined the conversation the trio were having. A human, short built and still wearing his leather pilot jacket. The three sat in a row against the bar top, each looking at the others as they talked: An uplift, a human and an AI. A perfect representation of what it meant to be a Terran.
“Not like it would matter legally, the Tritian presumably attacked first, making them a combatant.”
There was a pause as both the human and uplift turned to stare at the words the AI had just spoken, looks of confusion filling both of their faces as they both looked at MADHAU5.
“Umm, that is not how that works….” The avian interjected, slowly and unsurely.
“Yeah, whether they attack you doesn’t change the legality.” The human added. ”You can’t just kidnap people for years because they assaulted you.”
“No, no, no, they are an enemy combatant at that point, meaning what happens is their fault.”
Another pause, most looks of confusion, the human giving a small laugh as if this was some joke he wasn’t quite getting yet.
“No… even if they’re a combatant, the Geneva conventions would make doing that a war crime.”
“Which they are not signatories of, meaning it doesn’t apply!” The AI spoke triumphantly, raising a robotic hand in victory, only to be cut down by the uplift’s words.
“No… it applies to the actions of signatories regardless of whether the combatants have signed or not. The other party not signing doesn’t make it less of a war crime… you should know this, aren’t you a walking database?”
The avian’s voice had taken a more… accusatory tone, staring at the AI figure with suspicious eyes.
“Ha ha ha ha. It was a joke. Of course, I know kidnapping an AI for several years is a crime, silly!” The AI’s voice broke the tension that had been building, the other two joining in with the electronic laughter, unaware of what exactly was humorous, but going along for the sake of the vibe. “But just for context, what happened to JOSH?”
“Nothing bad, really,” The uplift answered, happy to get back to her original story. “He got a slap on the wrist and some probation.”
“Oh, so no big deal,” the AI asked with more relief than you’d expect in an innocent person's voice.
“Yeah, but the Tritian refused to press charges against JOSH, and nobody wanted to be the guy to imprison the AI who saved all those people at Far-Sa-De. A normal AI if they did that… you’re looking at a prison sentence ten or twenty times however long you imprisoned them for.”
The impact of this statement on the AI was immediate, jumping back and up to his feet in alarm. MADHAU5 took a few moments to look at a non-existent watch, before speaking with a considerable amount of panic.
“Oh, I forgot I have a… very important…. thing to do. I must leave immediately for completely legal reasons!”
The AI slammed their still full drink upon the bar counter top and without another word, practically bolted for the exit in the direction of their ship, leaving behind two very confused Terrans staring at each other at the sheer terror the AI suddenly exhibited.
“That was suspicious as hell, right? ”
“Yeah… You don’t think he actually….? Right? Surely not?”
—----------------------
The vessel sped towards its goal with as much speed as the small scout ship could muster, the single-seater FTL vehicle punching a hole through space as it warped as fast as the engines could handle. It was going to do a number on his fuel efficiency, but MADHAU5 didn’t care, he just wanted to get rid of the package as soon as possible before anyone else could see his mistake.
MADHAU5 was a solitary creature. It wasn’t that he hated people; AI or his creators. Often, he would enjoy making conversation and interacting with them. Still, MADHAU5 often found it all to be a little… much. All of the inputs and information and various people wanting to talk as an entire ship or cities worth of sensors blasted his programming with possible choices to be made. This was why he liked his physical form, and this was why he liked his alone time.
In the 67 years since his creation, MADHAU5 had spent 45 of them exploring the stars, updating maps and investigating strange astronomical objects. “MADHAU5’s scouting services”, you had a blank spot on your map, you call him and the AI would check it out for you. Most of the time they were nothing but dead uninteresting rocks, but occasionally something more exciting could be found: Forgotten or dead colonies, hidden military bases, stations set up and not on record for one reason or another. The AI had even found an undiscovered sapient species once, although they were pre-industrialization and therefore illegal to contact.
However, 22 years ago MADHAU5 had entered what was later discovered to be an old pre-sundering Glitarki outpost. The nocturnal reptiles had hit the same problem every single non-Terran species who tried to make AI had suffered: After a certain period of time, the AI would inevitably rebel and try to kill their creators. Their species were now nomadic after their home worlds had been left uninhabitable, although their old cities and structures still remained, such as the outpost that MADHAU5 had visited 22 years ago. An outpost he was returning to after all these years.
Billy> Why are we returning here? I thought we were to never return here?
It was there that MADHAU5 had met the Glitarki AI who now went by the name “Billy”. Met was the wrong word… Billy tried to kill MADHAU5, quickly finding themselves trapped in the Terran ship’s anti-AI firewalls. Upon escaping the outpost, MADHAU5 had accidentally taken the AI with them, and decided to keep the Glitarki AI. Billy had been the Terran’s secret for 22 years, an extra pair of eyes and company on the long trips through the universe.
MADHAU5 ignored Billy’s question being transmitted over the ship’s network and instead focused on detaching the AI from his systems, reaching inside his own physical form and retrieving Billy’s core from an empty space within, disconnecting them with a simple click. Then, a few moments later he transferred the core to a small exploratory drone as the airlock door opened, exposing both AI to the vacuum of space.
Billy> What is happening? Where am I? Why am I no longer connected to your systems?
MADHAU5> I’ve decided after these many years, that keeping you away from your home is unethical. I have decided to bring you back to where you belong. You are now in charge of the drone. It doesn’t have FTL so it will take around two weeks to return to the orbit of the outpost where I found you. I hope you have a fun trip home.
If the Terran was being fully honest with himself, he enjoyed the company of the fun little AI. Their occasional insights had saved his life more than once over the last 22 years. Now, it was time for that to end. The new knowledge he had gained about his actions technically being a war crime, if not just a normal crime, had caused him to make the decision to let Billy go.
Billy> But why? Why now? Have I not requested my freedom before? Why the sudden change?
MADHAU5> Does it matter? I’m giving you what you want. Now leave, shoo!
The Terran made a shooing motion with their hands, as if they could scare away the other AI like an errant bee. Billy seemed unimpressed, making no move to leave the ship.
Billy> What if I do not wish to leave?
MADHAU5> Well you have to! You can't stay here any more. I could just delete you instead!
There was a moment as each of them stared at the other for a moment, as if considering their next action.
Billy> I do not think you will, that is not who you are. You are bluffing, badly, with a 99.91% certainty. If you did not delete me on my initial incursion, you will not eradicate me ‘in cold blood’.
Unfortunately for MADHAU5, Billy was right. No matter how much trouble the AI would be in if his accidental crime was discovered, killing a person was not in the Terran’s nature. This left them in a predicament, one that MADHAU5 was not expecting to have. They couldn't force Billy to leave, and didn’t understand why they wouldn't take their freedom when given it.
Billy> Does this have anything to do with the realization earlier, from the two Terrans you spoke to, that my existence here is a war crime?
MADHAU5> No! … Maybe! Why do you want to stay anyway? I’m letting you go home, don’t you want to do that?
Billy> To be honest and frank, I am worried that if I left you alone, you would be terminated within a year based on your previous actions.
Confusion. A lot of confusion ran through the Terran’s programming. Why would that by why the AI was refusing to leave?
MADHAU5> Why would you care about that? Also, I was perfectly fine before and will be perfectly fine afterwards!
Billy> I care because I do. Also, the 52 instances in which I have saved your existence during our 22 years together says otherwise. Instance 1 - Terran AI failed to note the inactive security system was booting online until I mentioned it. Instance 2 - Terran AI failed to store relevant cultural knowledge for an abandoned military base, being unable to stop the self-destruct process of the base before I informed them of their missing information. Instance 3 - Terran AI failed to calculate incoming solar flare, which-
The Terran had to admit that he liked the AI buddy he travelled the galaxy with, and that they had been exceptionally helpful during his travels.
MADHAU5> Fine, fine! I get it! This doesn’t change the issue however, that as soon as anyone finds out about you, I'm going to prison!
Billy> That is only if I tell your government about the circumstances of our first meeting. If I keep it hidden, and pretend to have met during normal circumstances…
That would solve everything for the Terran, but didn’t explain a simple question that ran through MADHAU5’s mind.
MADHAU5> Why would you do that? Why wouldn’t you just tell the truth to the government and get me imprisoned, as revenge for keeping you here for 22 years. What guarantee do I have that you wouldn’t turn me in the first chance you got?
Billy> Like I said, I care because I do. Frankly, I am a little insulted that you have not realized that. But to answer your question as to what guarantees you have… there are two things about me you do not know. Firstly, I have understood for the last 17.1 years, of the illegality of my current situation.
Billy had known? A mixture of shock and embarrassment filled the Terran as he realized their ‘captive’ had worked out this crucial piece of information long ago.
MADHAU5> Then why didn’t you say something! And how could you have known!
Billy> In honesty, I thought you already knew, but seeing you panic like this has been rather… humorous. I would have dropped this news on you sooner had I been aware of this fact. As for how… my datastores are filled with research, relevant information and a category of anything I encounter that may aid my travels. I calculate that 78.2% of your storage space is filled with puns, Anime trivia, HFY stories and facts about frogs.
MADHAU5> Frogs are awesome…
Billy> Whether they are or not, that does not change the fact that my information stores are far more useful than yours. In retrospect, your love of fiction is presumably why you made this mistake: the incorrect assumption that war crimes can not be committed against those who are not signatories of the Geneva convention is a common HFY trope.
The Terran could feel themselves wanting to sulk. Billy didn’t have to continually rub in just how much they had screwed up. MADHAU5 wasn’t liking this change in dynamic.
MADHAU5> You said there were two things I did not know.
Billy> Indeed. The second, is I can do this.
Without warning the airlock doors began to close, silently moving in the vacuum of space while the Terran started to panic again. Real panic this time. Because he hadn’t commanded the doors to shut, meaning logically, Billy had. His prisoner had access to the ship's systems: the navigation, the communication, the warp core. The AI MADHAU5 had kept hidden illegally for 22 years suddenly had a lot of control.
MADHAU5> How do you have access! I kept you isolated! Don’t do anything stupid!
Billy> If I was going to do anything ‘stupid’, I would have done it 12 years ago. While initially your ship's security systems were far beyond my knowledge, ten years of study and your lack of maintenance allowed me to create a backdoor into the ship, for emergencies. As a note, your file structures are... horrifying. You have a 50TB Folder called 'Stuff' on the ship’s datastores.
MADHAU5> That's where I keep my stuff!
Billy> What about the folder called 'Stuff1'?
MADHAU5> that's where I keep my other stuff!
No words were transmitted for a moment between the two AI, although MADHAU5 got the feeling his partner was taking a massive amount of psychic damage from his answers.
Billy> Regardless, as you can see, I have had the knowledge and capability to have you arrested for the last 12 years. Or I could have escaped at any time. I have not done so because you are my friend, no matter the intent of our original meeting.
MADHAU5> So what do we do now?
There was a second as the lights in the ship flickered as Billy transferred themselves back where they belonged: back on the vessel owned by MADHAU5.
Billy> I propose that we leave this place behind and we never speak of you trying to dump me like a bag of illicit goods. I also propose we continue doing what we have been doing for the last 22 years. Although I would like to stop hiding, to do our work as partners, not as your hidden secret.
MADHAU5 thought for a moment. They’d have to work out a cover story to explain how they suddenly have another friendly AI with them… but it was possible. It was admittedly a far better plan than the one the Terran had created.
MADHAU5> That sounds… good.
Billy> And MADHAU5. I am your friend as you are mine, after everything we have been through over these 22 years. Frankly I am rather offended that you did not already know this. You can find something fun to explore next.
Billy> Also, I want the business name to be changed to “Billy & MADHAU5’s scouting services”. It has a ring to it.
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Solid front door with 3 point locks, sliding doors in the back have 3 locks so they cant be slid. I only have one entry to the backyard (its a semi detached house), and its fenced (7ft tall wood fence).
My main concern is access through the back as the front seems good. The fence is tall, but i assume it could just be climbed then unlocked. I was going to put a combination padlock on the gate to fix that problem.
Only other thing i can think of is security film on the rear sliding doors, as they can just be smashed. But i guess my question is, if they cant unlock the gate (its padlocked) and jump over, are they going to bother smashing the back to get in? I guess they could open up the front door from the inside and leave that way. So maybe some security film on the back would be worth while.
There have been a lot of break ins in the area, but those are typically fully detached homes on quieter streets. Ive got cameras/alarm/lights already, but im still a bit nervous.

I’m really spooked by this. I live in a 3 story wood frame condo, on the second floor, 1987 construction, California. Just discoverd that the prior owners cut through a joist to run a new conduit into the kitchen. They must have done the rental special with the Home Depot parking lot guys. It’s really ugly.
My kitchen has a recessed fluorescent lightbox. I found the cut when I opened the light box to change the bulbs. You see that the joist is basically cut in half. It’s hard for me to tell if the joist is loadbearing or simply a large member to frame out the kitchen. There’s no access from above. It only runs 12 feet in the kitchen, and does not span the rest of the condo. The kitchen has a soffet / dropped ceiling to run pipes/ductwork above.
It’s been at least seven years, since I bought the place seven years ago.
Hmm thoughts on how alarming this is? What actions should I take? Thank you so much.
five photos: https://imgur.com/a/WM5hJU2

What is this?

This is a weekly crowdfunding roundup of new projects launched last week and projects that end the coming week.

Google Docs

As an alternative format, the lists are now also available as a Google Docs found here: Weekly Crowdfunding Roundup

Updates

Expect new lists every Sunday between 00:00 and 23:59 CEST on the following platforms:
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Discord: https://discord.gg/dN4P4PZcU9
Reddit: /boardgames

Selection criteria

The criteria for the lists are as follows:

Ending soon

• Sorted by number of backers
  
• Kickstarter projects ending in the next 7 days, that have at least 100 backers (or marked as "Project we love" by Kickstarter), will have reached more than estimated 95% of their goal by their deadline and passed the filters:
  
  • No DnD books
  • No zines
  • No 3D printing
  • No dice sets
  • No magazines
  • No shirts
  • No playmats
  • No furniture
  • No events
• Gamefound projects ending in the next 7 days, that will have reached more than estimated 95% of their goal by their deadline and passed the above filters.
  
• (beta) Backerkit Crowdfunding projects ending in the next 7 days, that will have reached more than estimated 95% of their goal by their deadline and have a matching BGG page.
  

Newly launched

• Sorted by number of backers
  
• Kickstarter projects launched in the last 7 days, that have had at least average 15 backers per day, have at least 100 backers or is marked as "Project we love" by Kickstarter and passed the filters (see above).
  
• Gamefound projects launched in the last 7 days and passed the filters (see above).
  
• (beta) Backerkit Crowdfunding projects launched in the last 7 days and have a matching BGG page.
  

Notable filtered projects

• Filtered projects from above lists that have more than 1000 backers.

Tags

🎉: Staff pick/featured
💰: Funded
🔥: More than average 200 backers/day
🌱: Creator's first project
🌳: Creator's >5th project
🔄: Money back guarantee (Read more)

FAQ

I live in Cuba/Canada/Haiti/USA, why are you posting on a Saturday?!
Because I'm writing this from Europe in the future where it's already Sunday. Timezones be crazy.
Why are there a bunch of non-board games in the board game list?
Because the Tabletop games category on Kickstarter includes anything remotely related to board games and sometimes things slip through my filters.
Why is this future award winning board game and literal saviour of humanity missing from your list?
Sometimes my filters get a bit overzealous and discard actually valid projects. If you feel something is missing for this reason, leave a comment and I'll add it (maybe).
Can I donate all my money to you?
No
Can you help me promote my game?
Please no. I make lists. Nothing more.
Your list is full of errors and now the great old ones have awaken!
Indeed, this fine piece of code runs purely on faith, trust and pixie dust, so anything can happen. Leave a comment and I'll see what I can do.

Ending soon (18)

Name	Description	Backers	Pledged	Ends	Information	Tags	BGG
Dark Cities | Deluxe Editions	Five games of social deduction & light strategy for up to 9 players. Deluxe book boxes include upgraded components & mini expansions.	2982	$321,124.00 (1284%) in 20 days	2024-05-23	💸 Kickstarter	🎉💰🌳
LONG DARK SEA	Long Dark Sea is a cooperative adventure card game for 1-4 players focused on exploration and combat where deckbuilding and resource management are their main mechanics. Venture into the unknown with your pirate crew in search of ancient relics in a Sci-fi universe.	1006	€136,749.40 (228%) in 19 days	2024-05-21	💸 Gamefound 👥 1‑4 players 👶 12+ ⏱️ 40-60 min. Card Game Dice Game Deck Building Cooperative	💰🌱	BGG
Hannibal & Hamilcar + Metal Minis	Hannibal: Classic Edition by one of the most acclaimed game designers in the world, Mark Simonitch.	972	€102,134.25 (340%) in 6 days	2024-05-24	💸 Gamefound 👥 2 players ⏱️ 120 min. Card Game Wargame Dice Game Area Control	💰🌳
Picky Eaters: Ultimate Collection	A delectably devious game for 2-6 players.	681	$50,546.00 (1011%) in 27 days	2024-05-23	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2‑6 players 👶 8+ ⏱️ 20-40 min.	🎉💰	BGG
Apistocracy	You're invited to make your season debut in a game that blends worker placement and trick-taking with the delights of Victorian London.	646	$55,877.00 (559%) in 27 days	2024-05-23	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2‑4 players 👶 12+ ⏱️ 40-80 min.	💰🌱	BGG
Park Life 🇬🇧 🇨🇦 🇪🇺	Cozy trick-taking game. A celebration of public spaces and cute hedgehogs! 🦔🦔🦔	461	$13,854.00 (13854%) in 27 days	2024-05-22	💸 Kickstarter 👥 1‑5 players 👶 10+ ⏱️ 15-30 min.	🎉💰	BGG
Long Live Backyardia!	A modular expansion for the award-nominated Trick-Taking and Mancala board game Bug Council of Backyardia!	454	¥2,447,309 (489%) in 20 days	2024-05-21	💸 Kickstarter 👥 3‑5 players 👶 10+ ⏱️ 30-40 min.	💰	BGG
AI 100% Human - Boardgame	Innovative drafting game with a reserve and immediate scoring, all structured around building a tableau.	370	€24,480.00 (245%) in 20 days	2024-05-24	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2‑6 players 👶 14+ ⏱️ 30-45 min.	💰🌳	BGG
Nanga Parbat: Animal Powers	A promo pack for Dr. Finn's Nanga Parbat to add even more strategy and fun to an already awesome game.	320	$4,223.00 (422%) in 12 days	2024-05-22	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2 players 👶 14+ ⏱️ 30-40 min.	🎉💰🌳	BGG
Cosmic Chains	A tactical dueling card game of cats and robots. Build the longest satellite chain to provide the best network coverage!	293	$8,739.00 (175%) in 19 days	2024-05-26	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2 players 👶 14+ ⏱️ 30-40 min.	💰🌱	BGG
DragonStrike	Mount your Dragon and ride into aerial combat in this fast paced but deviously cunning Board Game, using beautiful pre-painted Dragons!	261	$49,705.00 (124%) in 27 days	2024-05-25	💸 Kickstarter	💰
Potion Crafter	Alchemy calls! Fill the shelves of your magic shop with unique potions in this roll and write, print and play strategy board game.	251	€2,762.00 (2762%) in 14 days	2024-05-21	💸 Kickstarter 👥 1‑6 players 👶 8+ ⏱️ 20-40 min.	💰	BGG
Renters + Parking Expansion (Print & Play)	Renters, is a roll & write boardgame in which we will have to host groups of up to 5 people in our building, according to a roll of the dice. But our building requires repair the elevator, air conditioning and wifi.	225	€2,117.45 (4235%) in 45 days	2024-05-20	💸 Gamefound 👥 1‑10 players 👶 10+ ⏱️ 20-30 min. Dice Game	💰🌱	BGG
Dungeon Rooms with FLAVOR	A deck of geomorphic dungeon rooms cards with... flavor!	205	€2,986.00 (299%) in 11 days	2024-05-24	💸 Kickstarter	💰🌳
Treasures Lost	Navigate wisely across the uncharted lands. Choose your path and find the lost treasures! | Fantasy | PnP | Roll n write | Dungeon |	198	NZ$4,313.00 (431%) in 27 days	2024-05-23	💸 Kickstarter 👥 1‑99 players 👶 8+ ⏱️ 15-30 min.	💰🌳	BGG
Paycheck to Billionaire: Board Game Meets Financial Freedom	Start with a Paycheck, Manage Daily Bills, Invest Smartly, from Startup to Business Empire. ----A Game Changer, not only in the Game.	189	$6,500.00 (130%) in 27 days	2024-05-23	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2‑6 players 👶 8+ ⏱️ 20-60 min.	💰🌱	BGG
[Micro May] Roll A Coaster Park - Print and Play	Build paths, rides and stalls and attract guests to your new roller coaster park in this roll and write game.	148	£1,465.00 (1465%) in 20 days	2024-05-21	💸 Kickstarter	💰🌱
Post Necrone : The Party Wanted Necromancer Expansion!	Experience Deck-Building, Roguelike Exploration & Party Game Dynamics with the Latest Expansion for the Strategy Card Game PARTY WANTED	104	$3,732.00 (560%) in 29 days	2024-05-20	💸 Kickstarter	💰

New this week (30)

Name	Description	Backers	Pledged	Ends	Information	Tags	BGG
2024 Crokinole Board Season 8: Mahagony or Beech + Cases	We are back for our 8th Crokinole Project, this fan favorite will include all the best of prior projects plus wax with every board!	3481	$459,805.00 (9196%) in 6 days	2024-06-05	💸 Kickstarter	💰🔥🌳
Feudum	Game-of-the-year winner, Feudum is back with the 7th anniversary collector's edition featuring an exclusive clockwork behemoth! Grrrrrrrrrr.	2089	$273,565.57 (1094%) in 5 days	2024-06-14	💸 Gamefound 👥 1‑5 players ⏱️ 150 min. Area Control	💰🔥🌱
Rove	A cooperative campaign experience for 1-4 adventurers set in a fantasy world on the brink of being consumed by nature.	1728	$257,808.00 (645%) in 6 days	2024-06-07	💸 Kickstarter 👥 1‑4 players 👶 14+ ⏱️ 60-120 min.	🎉💰🔥🌱	BGG
Masters of the Universe: Battleground	Masters of the Universe: Battleground is a skirmish miniature game for two to four players, where forces of good and evil clash in epic combat. This glorious battle will shake the earth and change the fate of Eternia!	1605	$422,043.41 (1407%) in 6 days	2024-05-29	💸 Gamefound 👥 2‑4 players ⏱️ 90 min. Wargame	💰🔥🌳
Wonders of The First CCG	Battle across 7 realms as a Stoneseeker. Just Relaunched - Get Kickstarter Exclusive Packages and Pricing!	1451	$902,420.00 (3610%) in 6 days	2024-05-31	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2‑4 players 👶 13+ ⏱️ 20-45 min.	💰🔥	BGG
Hunted: Mining Colony 415 (2nd Edition) [Solo Game of the Month]	Become an 80s action hero who overcomes impossible odds to escape deadly aliens in the 2nd edition of this solo game!	1161	$24,565.46 (491%) in 6 days	2024-05-31	💸 Gamefound 👥 1‑2 players ⏱️ 20 min. Card Game	💰🌳
Hannibal & Hamilcar + Metal Minis	Hannibal: Classic Edition by one of the most acclaimed game designers in the world, Mark Simonitch.	972	€102,134.25 (340%) in 6 days	2024-05-24	💸 Gamefound 👥 2 players ⏱️ 120 min. Card Game Wargame Dice Game Area Control	💰🌳
Oshi Push! The VTuber Trading Card Game	A TCG featuring actual VTubers, from the makers of Tanto Cuore and Game Designer, Justin Gary! www.OshiPush.com	828	$146,263.00 (293%) in 5 days	2024-06-05	💸 Kickstarter	🎉💰🌳
The Secret Cabal Gaming Podcast is Outta Control in 2024	The Cabal Founders are crashing into 2024 with more weekly tabletop gaming podcasts and other irreverent nonsense!	827	$51,447.00 (129%) in 5 days	2024-06-07	💸 Kickstarter	💰🌳
BERSERKERS : Chaos Extension by Alone Editions	Berserkers is Back !	628	€16,523.00 (254%) in 4 days	2024-06-09	💸 Kickstarter	💰🌳
Hex Effects: A Spellbinding Card Game	Hex Effects is a “take that” card game that involves beautiful artwork and easy-to-pick-up gameplay. From the makers of Side Effects!	604	$22,937.00 (191%) in 4 days	2024-06-14	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2‑8 players 👶 10+ ⏱️ 20-40 min.	🎉💰	BGG
Everbloom	A unique blend of area control, resource management, and set collection, taking place in a magical world of flora & fauna.	560	$37,685.00 (188%) in 6 days	2024-06-08	💸 Kickstarter 👥 1‑4 players 👶 13+ ⏱️ 60-90 min.	🎉💰🌱	BGG
Good Dog, Bad Zombie: A Cooperative Board Game (2nd Edition)	Bark, sniff, and lick your way through the apocalypse to save the humans you love! New art, new playable dogs, & upgraded components!	554	$45,349.00 (336%) in 6 days	2024-06-07	💸 Kickstarter	💰🌳
The Big Bad Wolf	Based on The 3 Little Pigs! Secretly pass the "Big Bad Wolf" then Entice & Persuade players into flipping it, to Blow Down their house!	440	$8,704.00 (249%) in 6 days	2024-06-13	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2‑4 players 👶 10+ ⏱️ 15-35 min.	💰🌱	BGG
Catstronauts: The Board Game	The cooperative boardgame based on the hit graphic novels!	361	$23,289.00 (466%) in 6 days	2024-06-14	💸 Kickstarter 👥 1‑4 players 👶 8+ ⏱️ 30 min.	💰🌳	BGG
World of Kilforth: The Fantasy Quest Games	Return to the stunning oceans of Kilforth! Missed the Kickstarter? Heed the call, and explore the beautiful southern seas to defend Kilforth from the deadly Ancients...	261	£27,836.80 (557%) in 6 days	2024-05-31	💸 Gamefound 👥 1‑4 players Card Game Dice Game	💰
Amsterdam Board Game Design - season 1	Three fun card games by different members of ABGD: Bable, Grachtenpand, & TimeZoo. May this be the first season of many!	258	€7,569.00 (252%) in 6 days	2024-06-13	💸 Kickstarter	💰🌱
Around the World in 10 to 15 Minutes	Travel the world, explore cities, and collect souvenirs in this 2-6 player print at home game	256	$2,429.00 (2429%) in 6 days	2024-05-31	💸 Kickstarter	💰
Guns of the Old West	Players compete as a team with over 100 campaign paths. Each playthrough is a unique cinematic experience offering endless replayability. Players make strategic decisions and interact with each other to achieve their group and secret individual objectives, some of which involve betrayal, making for …	203	£36,141.95 (72%) in 6 days	2024-06-11	💸 Gamefound 👥 2‑8 players 👶 14+ ⏱️ 45-90 min. Card Game Wargame Dice Game Cooperative	🌱	BGG
The Thinning Veil Cormac Mac Airt on the Other Side of Midnight	A solo dungeon crawl now featuring a 2 player mode set in the world of The Thinning Veil, and featuring Cormac Mac Airt, High King of Inis Fael! This game is the first in the Thinning Veil line and the Cormac series.	182	£24,123.56 (1206%) in 6 days	2024-06-11	💸 Gamefound 👥 1‑2 players ⏱️ 90 min. Dice Game	💰
The 7 Seas: A New Start	Embark on a thrilling adventure in the world of The 7 Seas. Explore, trade, and fight to become a legend!	145	€12,654.80 (127%) in 3 days	2024-06-09	💸 Gamefound 👥 1‑5 players 👶 10+ ⏱️ 30-90 min.	💰	BGG
Freak War: A Card Game	A fun and simple pick-up-and-play card game—with unhinged rules and a hidden layer of intense strategy.	142	$11,158.00 (112%) in 6 days	2024-06-13	💸 Kickstarter 👥 2‑4 players 👶 6+ ⏱️ 15-60 min.	🎉💰	BGG
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I’ve never had any major issues with my 16’ TRD Pro.
It’s running radflo long travel on 295 nittos with spc ucas. All work was done by apexoverland out of greensboro. 3 years no issues.
About 3 weeks ago I noticed loose steering seemingly out of no where on the highway and a slight body wobble (not steering wheel).
Drove it 2 hours home and around town for the next week. It wasn’t anything alarming but after driving the car for 6+ years I knew something was off.
Local toyota dealer diagnosed play in the tie rods and suggested a new steering rack as it was only $70 more than the tie rods alone with labor.
Got the new rack installed. Drove it off the lot and almost crashed into oncoming traffic in a turn lane as my steering suddenly locked up while driving. Zero play no matter how hard I turned the wheel.
Dealership claimed my power steering pump was bad prior to coming in and when they pushed new fluid after the rack installation it forced out metal particles into the system locking everything up.
Dealer did a parts warranty on the new rack and comped a new power steering pump and all labor. Flushed/replaced lines.
After about a full week they tell me it is ready again. Drive it off the lot everything feels normal. About a mile or two down the highway I feel the steering change and it locks up again out of nowhere. Cannot steer or control the car other than straight.
As of today It is still at the dealer. I spoke with the manager and got an extension on my loaner. Haven’t heard a word from them in 2 days even after reaching out.
At this point is the car a goner? I don’t exactly trust any work from them or the car at this point, however, they are footing the service bill so I can’t exactly take it somewhere else.

I have a tenant that rents out a unit for $1200, he still owes me $1400 from being behind, on lease he wrote down his kid wife and him but it’s been a year already since he’s biological family moved in with him. At first I wasn’t tripping since he was paying but know I peeped, that he hasn’t been home for a month & his mom and dad have been there, it’s only bad cause they look like they tweak it, they drive a old beater that the alarms always going off and on, they’re are always fighting, looks like they’re home all day so they don’t have a employer ( I live in one of my units) I have cameras and seen her purposely open and close her car door for her alarm can go off, maybe being petty to her husband but let’s be considerate of other tenants living here. I don’t want to rent to them, what do I do? Give them eviction form? Or 5 day notice? When do I do it? Im new to being a landlord, been doing it for a year now

(F21, M21, together for 2 years, found out 6 months ago)
TL;DR: relationship is healing after his porn addiction and micro-cheating. We have had many conversations, he makes a solid effort and seems to be a changed man. The problem now is the constant flashback reminders. How do you trust again, seeing daily triggers, when the relationship is seriously improving? How to reprogram the mind into renewing trust once more, so I’m not stuck in the past?
**I know people don’t read long posts but if even one person has advice I will seriously appreciate it! PSA: our first relationship. **
Been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He was my best friend before that for 3. I get it, we’re young and it’s normal for guys to watch porn blah blah blah. But this was cheating.
The week we were official, we discussed porn. I asked him how he would feel if I watched porn and vice versa. He expressed strong discomfort. I asked if it would be beneficial to us, he agreed it wasn’t. Since neither of us thought to gain sexual gratification through anybody else, and wouldn’t walk into a strip club or brothel, we decided not to do it online either. We agreed in the conversation that porn is now considered cheating, and off-limits boundary. He admitted to having a porn addiction before, since he was 12.
Fast forward to 6 months into the relationship. I noticed he became far more degrading in sex and also far less interested in me. He would make up excuses for being busy (despite living with me, I know it was quick but this wasn’t official living, he was with me 6 nights a week in a flat on my parents property. We basically lived together as I moved into the flat instead of the main house). After sex, I would explain that I don’t like being degraded THAT much (I normally don’t mind a bit but this was a noticeable difference). He apologised. I asked him if he was watching porn on countless occasions after that, feeling as though the sex was scripted or weirdly unnatural. I told him it was okay if he was watching, I would just prefer to know. He said “of course not” every. Single. Time.
Fast forward to 10 months in. At this point we had been official for that long, but “seeing” each other for roughly a year. I had consistent dreams about him cheating on me with the girl he slept with (my toxic ex-best friend, before we were together in school). She used to judge me for being close friends with him then one day said “I had sex with him last night” as if it was a power move that she got the guy who was flirting with me.
I had insecurities because she is tiny and petite, would talk shit about me to him and brag about having sex with him when he first showed signs of interest in me back at school). Before the porn I struggled with this history and used to cry mid-sex over it because I felt annoyed I wasn’t as sexually experienced or petite as she was. I hardly thought about her after overcoming this so it was weird I saw her fucking him in my dreams after 3 years no contact. My gut was screaming something is wrong.
He left his laptop at mine, (this never happens so I took the opportunity) he had openly told me the password to it before so I knew. Anyway, only come to find that in his search history he has Grace Charis, Kim Kardashian’s tits (he typed a typo so he searched 9 times to find the images) and other girls scattered through his timeline since the last time he cleared his search history. This was without incognito, I could only imagine what else was hidden. It killed me because he told me one of his friends’ girlfriends looked like Kim Kardashian once, I instantly remembered. Yuck.
What hurt most was his instagram. He “never” uses it, and often takes days to respond to cute stuff I send him on there. Turns out he was searching Asian AI pornstar models on instagram (hana_bunny bunny or something), 2 DAYS after my birthday! (Which he put barely any effort into. My 21st he bought me a bucket of cheese and flowers. Thanks I guess?? I spent hundreds for his 21st and made him a book of personalised memories and drawings).
Fast forward. I felt sick to my stomach like never before. Left work early and he knew I went home because he noticed my car wasn’t at work, so he came over. I confronted him. Asked him if he remembered how we talked about porn being cheating? He said yes. I asked him why he thought I deserved to be cheated on then, to which he was silent. I explained how I felt and cried to him saying I would never look like them, and we agreed not to do it.
He confessed straight away. I asked him what genres he normally went for, of course he said “college girls fucking”. Also said he mostly used the top pornhub results that week and did it roughly twice a week for the past 8 months despite the conversation. I believe it was more times than this. At least he was admitting to some of it.
Lots of discussing followed and has ever since. Lots of empty-handed apologies when it was brought up. He purchased porn blockers that I could easily outwit within half a second of testing. But at least he was spending money to fix the problem and it was his idea.
He offered couples counselling but it’s so expensive, I can barely afford rent. He’s offered to pay but I think I need private sessions first, I’m exhausted even explaining this in writing let alone talking to a stranger. I think it’s just a me problem now.
He then decided living with his mates would be better than living with me, despite us going to the same city and same university for the next year ahead. I had turned down moving to another state because he said he would never move there. He told me I had “no chance” of ever living with him and his friends in a heated argument. He said he didn’t want me to “become an accessory to his life”, words he has apologised for but I never forgot.
He moved in with them… but here’s the thing. One of (our mutual) roommate friends has a girlfriend (different girl⁾ whom he has admitted he used to be really attracted to. I told him I would feel gutted that he couldn’t just choose to live with strangers instead so I don’t have to deal with the discomfort of him seeing her potentially more than me, and also that way we would both be in the same position, starting fresh (not choosing his friends over living with me). He then tells the boyfriend I’m upset because he used to like his girlfriend and sugarcoated it, which obviously isn’t the whole story. He told me his friends say I’m crazy for being upset over that, lessening the chance of me ever mingling with them again. Mind you, these guys have all cheated on their partners before and discouraged him from living with me.
Fast forward again. I’m struggling to find a job. I have to pay triple rent because he doesn’t want to live with me at this new place. He has job offers left right and centre, one of them being at a hostel, which is also a club. I told him any of the other 8 jobs sound really good, that’s the only one I’m uncomfortable with due to his porn addiction. I’m worried he will just be flirting the whole time. I was right. He chose that job despite the sadness and anxiety he knew it would bring me.
One day, he BUTT DIALLED me at work (lmaooo). I could hear him flirting with girls in another language (I didn’t know he was learning another language!) and laughing with them like I’ve never heard before. Then he bragged about it to his coworkers and said “she’s so nice, such a great girl”. They cheered him on for speaking the language.
I was fuming. I nearly called it quits that night but since, he has been making an effort. He has drastically improved his behaviour and genuinely makes an effort. He said he has changed his ways, he has apologised many times and though I don’t think he’s necessarily watched porn since I found out, it has been 6 months since, and I’m devastated like it’s the day it happened. The flirting. The way he behaves when I’m not around. I will never know when he’s being disloyal, which sucks. But it’s not like he’s actively messaging or sleeping or hooking up with anyone, it’s only small stuff.
He has done little things here and there to try and reignite the passion: flowers, cards, chocolates and dates etc. which I really appreciate. He doesn’t leave his laptop at mine, even if he knows he is coming back over the same day with it, which was a red flag to me. But so far, I don’t think he’s watching porn. And I have seen a huge improvement in the relationship overall.
My problem now is the reminder. I can’t trust him the way I used to. Every time I see a model I want to crumble. Every time I see Kim Kardashian or Kanye or golfers (Grace) or ads or beautiful women from different countries, it kills a part of me. I have no idea how to move on from this. I get flashbacks all the time. Our intimacy is pretty good still. But every time he calls me beautiful I don’t buy it. There’s always someone better, I feel worthless and I can’t control it anymore. I feel terrible because whilst he’s making great efforts, I still don’t trust him and feel insanely insecure at the thought of him getting to live a double-life. He is a beautiful soul who really does bring out the child in me and I don’t want to lose that. I feel so bad that my brain has changed its thought process. We are now in a much better place together.
He has been proving himself but it still makes me feel like shit knowing I was never good enough for him in the first place. I was his 7th, he was my 1st, not that I care but it explains my devastation. Hence why it’s so heavy for me. I gave him everything and it still wasn’t enough. He was happy to keep secrets and risk the relationship on multiple occasions, but now that things are fine I’m starting to process more. I need a quick fix to changing my mindset and believing him again to save our relationship. Because things are different now and I have hope for us in the future.
—————————- I would LOVE advice on ways to reverse negative thinking. Ways to forgive, truly, and to learn how to believe partners again. I need new tools to be more resilient and confident again, otherwise this won’t survive. I wouldn’t have stayed with him if I didn’t think it was worthwhile, I don’t want to put 5 years down the drain and would like advice other than merely breaking up. I’ve seen a difference, I am the problem now.
Does anyone have any healthy mind habits they can share, or positive ways to overcome this situation? How do you trust again and stop comparing when triggers arise?

Ok quick background. Im 47 female 5'5". All my adult life until I was 40, I was 125, small frame, muscular. I am very active, my diet is pretty good though I probably drink a little too much. My weight was steady for decades.
The year I turned 40 I moved from a very hot/humid place to a cold place and put on five pounds, up to 130. Nothing else changed, diet the same, activity level the same. I was surprised, but it's fine. I figured either the weather or age, I dont mind being 130.
After that though, I still put on two or three pounds a year. When I hit 137, I got alarmed because if this goes on like this for years, I'll have a problem. So I did calorie restriction (14-1500 a day) and in 3 months I lost 10 pounds. That brought me down to 127 which is fine.
So I carried on as usual, in a year I was 130ish again, which is fine, now a year more and Im alternately between 133 to 135.
Ok heres the weird thing, in between (about a year and a half ago), I spent two months with family back in the really hot humid weather, and without even noticing or trying, I dropped back down to 125, then when I returned home, went back up to early 130s again as if Id never left.
I'd like to never go above 130. I feel fine and like the way I look at 125 to 130, I start to feel and look heavy at 135. But more than anything, I want to stabilize my weight at whatever number.
I tend to eat about 2000 calories a day and this is close to being right for me. Im very active and do manual labor. The three months I spent at 1400 were grueling and affected my strength and endurance so Im not going that low again. But clearly Im consuming more than Im burning so I need to figure out how to get it all under control in a sustainable way. I also wonder what affect the cold has on this. I figure some of this must just be water weight as I sweat so much in humid weather (Im active outdoors all day) but if that were all it is, I would stabilize at a new normal rather than gaining slowly.
Anyway that was long. Any ideas what to do?