Viet thi minh tri divorce
Wibtj for not supporting my father side of the family
2024.05.07 16:06 Street-Branch9691 Wibtj for not supporting my father side of the family
Reposting :)
My story begins with a complex family dynamic, full of turmoil and unresolved pain. I am 15 years old, living with my mother, father, and my maternal grandparents, who I consider my guardians. My mother has always been my guiding light, but she is deaf, which has made our struggles with my father even more challenging.
To understand how we got to where we are today, we have to go back to when I was just five years old. My father had a violent streak, which he unleashed on my mother during a simple argument. It was terrifying; he not only hit her but also left us without warning. My grandparents stepped in to protect us, providing the stability and support that my father never did.
After some time, my father reached out to my mother, asking for a second chance. Despite the abuse, my mother, always hopeful, accepted. However, my grandparents were much less forgiving. They didn't want him back in our lives, knowing how dangerous he could be. But my mother believed in reconciliation, even when everyone around her didn't.
My father seemed to be making an effort at first. He invited us to spend the day with him, promising to take us shopping and maybe have some family time. Instead, he took us to his side of the family, where we ended up staying for nearly two months. It was a miserable experience. The conditions were rough, and I quickly began to lose weight because the food was scarce. My sister and I longed for the safety of my grandparents' home.
My grandparents eventually convinced my father's family to let us go back to them. My father, however, made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with my mother. He even said he would divorce her, which my mother desperately wanted to avoid. Despite her vulnerability as a deaf person, she did everything she could to keep our family together. Yet, my father was cruel in his words and actions, often blaming her for things that were not her fault.
The last straw came during a religious festival when my father dropped my mother off at my grandparents' house and then told her via a video call that he would not be picking her up. He cruelly said that she shouldn't try to come back to him. My grandparents were furious, and they decided to get the police involved to ensure my mother's safety.
When we went to my father's house with the police, it was empty. Everything was gone, including my mother's jewelry and other personal belongings. It was clear that my father was trying to disappear and leave us with nothing. We filed a police report and a lawsuit, hoping to get some justice for my mother, who had endured so much abuse and mistreatment at the hands of my father.
Through it all, my grandparents were our saviors. They supported us emotionally and financially, ensuring we had everything we needed to thrive. They paid for our schooling, provided food, and created a loving home. Without them, I don't know where we would be.
Now, I find myself in a position where I need to speak out against my father's family. They have tried to silence us and deny the truth about what happened. I need to be strong for my mother, who has always been my strength, even in her silence. Despite my father’s cruel treatment of her, she has shown nothing but love and resilience.
submitted by Street-Branch9691 to AmITheJerk [link] [comments]
My story begins with a complex family dynamic, full of turmoil and unresolved pain. I am 15 years old, living with my mother, father, and my maternal grandparents, who I consider my guardians. My mother has always been my guiding light, but she is deaf, which has made our struggles with my father even more challenging.
To understand how we got to where we are today, we have to go back to when I was just five years old. My father had a violent streak, which he unleashed on my mother during a simple argument. It was terrifying; he not only hit her but also left us without warning. My grandparents stepped in to protect us, providing the stability and support that my father never did.
After some time, my father reached out to my mother, asking for a second chance. Despite the abuse, my mother, always hopeful, accepted. However, my grandparents were much less forgiving. They didn't want him back in our lives, knowing how dangerous he could be. But my mother believed in reconciliation, even when everyone around her didn't.
My father seemed to be making an effort at first. He invited us to spend the day with him, promising to take us shopping and maybe have some family time. Instead, he took us to his side of the family, where we ended up staying for nearly two months. It was a miserable experience. The conditions were rough, and I quickly began to lose weight because the food was scarce. My sister and I longed for the safety of my grandparents' home.
My grandparents eventually convinced my father's family to let us go back to them. My father, however, made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with my mother. He even said he would divorce her, which my mother desperately wanted to avoid. Despite her vulnerability as a deaf person, she did everything she could to keep our family together. Yet, my father was cruel in his words and actions, often blaming her for things that were not her fault.
The last straw came during a religious festival when my father dropped my mother off at my grandparents' house and then told her via a video call that he would not be picking her up. He cruelly said that she shouldn't try to come back to him. My grandparents were furious, and they decided to get the police involved to ensure my mother's safety.
When we went to my father's house with the police, it was empty. Everything was gone, including my mother's jewelry and other personal belongings. It was clear that my father was trying to disappear and leave us with nothing. We filed a police report and a lawsuit, hoping to get some justice for my mother, who had endured so much abuse and mistreatment at the hands of my father.
Through it all, my grandparents were our saviors. They supported us emotionally and financially, ensuring we had everything we needed to thrive. They paid for our schooling, provided food, and created a loving home. Without them, I don't know where we would be.
Now, I find myself in a position where I need to speak out against my father's family. They have tried to silence us and deny the truth about what happened. I need to be strong for my mother, who has always been my strength, even in her silence. Despite my father’s cruel treatment of her, she has shown nothing but love and resilience.
2024.05.07 16:04 After_Performer3982 Thou hast proved mine heart; thou hast visited me
Thou hast proved mine heart; thou hast visited me in the night; thou hast tried me, and shalt find nothing; I am purposed that my mouth shall not transgress.Concerning the works of men, by the word of thy lips I have kept me from the paths of the destroyer
submitted by After_Performer3982 to u/After_Performer3982 [link] [comments]
2024.05.07 16:04 Crystal821711 Should I tell cousin’s gf that her bf was with 3 other girls when they first got together and is still uncommitted to her?
I am 14 female and have a cousin Liam 25 male, who’s been with his girlfriend Lia 23 for 6 years.
For this to make sense let me give some context. I am not close with Liam at all as my aunt, his mother, and his father divorced before I was even born. So he lives in the US with his father and I live in Canada. I’m very close to his older sister Bea, as she’s stayed in Canada living independently. Liam kept his contact with his mother very minimal. I don’t blame him at all. My aunt is a really difficult person to be around. I don’t like her either and if I had a choice I would’ve cut her off a long time ago. She’s toxic, manipulative and her ego is out of this world she is the reason her kids don’t want to speak to her. She basically verbally abused them their entire life. She’s also attempted to murder their dad, and now wants to murder his girlfriend. As mentioned growing up I’ve always been close to Bea and is close with her uncle and aunt (my parents) the times I’ve met Liam have usually been at her events, but more on that later. I must also add that we are a Muslim family, however Liam and his sister Bea have drifted away from Islam. Bea has married a non Muslim man. And the girl Liam is dating is a non Muslim as well. However it’s critical to add that both of their partners are absolutely wonderful people.
Okay so now with all of that out of the way I can finally begin.
I’ve met Liam a handful of times since I was little, but the first more promement memory I have of meeting him was 2 months before Bea’s wedding when I was 11. he came to Canada to shop with her. Bea invited us to come as well. We all met up at lunch, and started talking. Liam was chill and we were having a good time. Then my mom asked Liam if he was seeing anyone. He brought up his girlfriend Lia and told us a little bit about her, that they’d been together for 3 years, and she seemed like a really sweet girl. We looked forward to meeting her at the wedding. Not much more was said about the conversation and soon the food came. We started talking about the bachelorette party and then Liam spoke “yeah that’s why I’m not eating anything. we’re gonna be partying on a beach. Gotta look good for the ladies. Yk in case anyone is a suitable wife”. I turned to face him and said “you literally just mentioned the fact that you have a girlfriend”. And he replied with “gotta keep your options open”. He laughed and then started ranting about her saying that she’s to sensitive and she gets upset easily and that by keeping his options open he can find someone better. Even though I was 11 I was pretty mature for my age and definitely observant. I found that really weird but didn’t say anything else. Fast forward to the wedding and I met his girlfriend. When I say she is an absolute sweetheart, I mean she is literally one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. And she’s absolutely head over heels for Liam. Like I mean she was talking about wanting to marry him one day. I was sceptical of that though as Liam seemed very uncommitted to her. Like I mean even at the wedding he was flirting with random girls, leaving his poor girlfriend sitting alone. This is where I began to have suspicions that he’s unJessful to his girlfriend. But I ignored it at the time. After that I saw him every few months, and usually Lia would be there too. I really liked her. She was super sweet and easy to get along with. Meanwhile at basically every event I had more and more suspicions of Liam being unJessful, every chance Liam got he would mention having his “options” open. I still kept my mouth shut over the next 2 years. Until recently, I went to my home country to visit my family. Me and a few cousins were just hanging out and talking. Suddenly our mood got interrupted by Liam’s mom barging in. Let me make it clear that my other cousins don’t like her either and do everything to avoid her. But she is mine and my cousin's dads sister so unfortunately we have to deal with her, as my our dads will tolerate their sister's bullshit. She walked into the room and randomly started screaming and cursing directed towards Lia.
Context: about a month ago my aunt found out that Liam has a girlfriend and she saw a picture of her. The reason why she hates Lia so much is because she wanted Liam to marry our other cousin Jazz but of course he didn’t want to and now she found out why. Since that day she has had a daily obsession of screaming and cursing at her. She has called her all sorts of things from a gold digger to a stripper and has said every curse word you can imagine. And now she wants to kill her. Like she’s dead serious on wanting to kill her, and knowing my aunt I don’t underestimate her. She has tried to kill her ex husband and I know that she will stop at nothing to get what she wants. She calls Lia by saying a phrase in our native language which basically means “midget”. Lia is about 5’2 while Liam is 6’1. I’m sure you are wondering why I’m telling you this but trust me it’ll make sense. After my aunt left the room my cousin said to me, “I’ve seen pictures of Liam’s girlfriend on Instagram. She's almost as tall as him”. I replied by saying “no there’s quite a bit of a highet difference” . She then said “no I swear she’s like almost his height I’ll show you a picture”. I said “I’ve met her before I know how tall she is, anyways show me the picture I guess”. I also pulled up a picture on my phone. We both flipped out phones at the same time..and they were different girls. We both exclaimed “wait, that's not the same girl”. We stared at each other in shock dumbfounded. We checked the dates of the picture and they were overlapping. The picture she showed me was from 2018, when he was already with Lia. I then pulled up the page of the girl that was tagged in the photo, and saw she had pictures of him as late as 2019 when he was with Lia. I did some more research on Liam’s account and found his old account in 2019 he had romantic pictures of him and a girl. But the girl was neither Lia nor the other girl who’s name was Jess. I then found that 3rd girl Jane’s account and DMed her. I asked her if she knew anyone named Liam. She replied and said “yeah.. my ex’s name was Liam we were together from 2018-2020. I was left with my mouth opened. My cousin was with 3 girls at the same time.. my other cousin and I stared at each other unsure on what to say or feel. She asked me if Lia knew about the other girls I replied with “clearly not if she’s still with him”. She asked if he has said or done anything in the past that could possibly explain or even anything that just seemed somewhat connected to this. I thought about it and it took me no longer than two seconds to respond. I told her about the multiple times where he called her an “option” and said his options were open. She said “you remembered all of that but you didn’t remember to tell her?!”. I responded “I mean how do you tell someone the person they consider their long term and eventually want to marry is not serious about them at all and only thinks of them as one of many options”.. She laughed a bit then in a playful way said “yk you are a horrible future sister in law”. I couldn’t help but laugh as well “I probably wouldn’t be her future sister in law if she found out”. We both laughed and our other cousins joined in. Fast forward when we got ourselves together we discussed realising how messed up that actually is. I’m the only cousin who’s actually met Lia and I know she doesn’t deserve him or even this toxic ass family. I mean her future mother in law literally wants to kill her. Which I’ve also thought of telling Liam but idk if I should (advice on that as well would be appreciated). Back to the story. All of my cousins think I should tell her. I think she has the right to know. But as mentioned she’s sensitive if I tell her it’ll absolutely break her heart, and it would probably mean the end for her and Liam. But the other side of me is thinking I shouldn’t be the one to tell her. I mean it’s her relationship and I should probably stay out of it? Also what would happen between Liam and I if I told his girlfriend?.
This has been stuck in my mind. a while now. Please give me some advice I need it. Should I tell my cousin's girlfriend that her boyfriend was cheating on her with 3 different girls when they first got together and to this day he shows no regrets or commitment towards her. And should I tell my cousin the things his mom has said about his girlfriend?.
submitted by Crystal821711 to Advice [link] [comments]
For this to make sense let me give some context. I am not close with Liam at all as my aunt, his mother, and his father divorced before I was even born. So he lives in the US with his father and I live in Canada. I’m very close to his older sister Bea, as she’s stayed in Canada living independently. Liam kept his contact with his mother very minimal. I don’t blame him at all. My aunt is a really difficult person to be around. I don’t like her either and if I had a choice I would’ve cut her off a long time ago. She’s toxic, manipulative and her ego is out of this world she is the reason her kids don’t want to speak to her. She basically verbally abused them their entire life. She’s also attempted to murder their dad, and now wants to murder his girlfriend. As mentioned growing up I’ve always been close to Bea and is close with her uncle and aunt (my parents) the times I’ve met Liam have usually been at her events, but more on that later. I must also add that we are a Muslim family, however Liam and his sister Bea have drifted away from Islam. Bea has married a non Muslim man. And the girl Liam is dating is a non Muslim as well. However it’s critical to add that both of their partners are absolutely wonderful people.
Okay so now with all of that out of the way I can finally begin.
I’ve met Liam a handful of times since I was little, but the first more promement memory I have of meeting him was 2 months before Bea’s wedding when I was 11. he came to Canada to shop with her. Bea invited us to come as well. We all met up at lunch, and started talking. Liam was chill and we were having a good time. Then my mom asked Liam if he was seeing anyone. He brought up his girlfriend Lia and told us a little bit about her, that they’d been together for 3 years, and she seemed like a really sweet girl. We looked forward to meeting her at the wedding. Not much more was said about the conversation and soon the food came. We started talking about the bachelorette party and then Liam spoke “yeah that’s why I’m not eating anything. we’re gonna be partying on a beach. Gotta look good for the ladies. Yk in case anyone is a suitable wife”. I turned to face him and said “you literally just mentioned the fact that you have a girlfriend”. And he replied with “gotta keep your options open”. He laughed and then started ranting about her saying that she’s to sensitive and she gets upset easily and that by keeping his options open he can find someone better. Even though I was 11 I was pretty mature for my age and definitely observant. I found that really weird but didn’t say anything else. Fast forward to the wedding and I met his girlfriend. When I say she is an absolute sweetheart, I mean she is literally one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. And she’s absolutely head over heels for Liam. Like I mean she was talking about wanting to marry him one day. I was sceptical of that though as Liam seemed very uncommitted to her. Like I mean even at the wedding he was flirting with random girls, leaving his poor girlfriend sitting alone. This is where I began to have suspicions that he’s unJessful to his girlfriend. But I ignored it at the time. After that I saw him every few months, and usually Lia would be there too. I really liked her. She was super sweet and easy to get along with. Meanwhile at basically every event I had more and more suspicions of Liam being unJessful, every chance Liam got he would mention having his “options” open. I still kept my mouth shut over the next 2 years. Until recently, I went to my home country to visit my family. Me and a few cousins were just hanging out and talking. Suddenly our mood got interrupted by Liam’s mom barging in. Let me make it clear that my other cousins don’t like her either and do everything to avoid her. But she is mine and my cousin's dads sister so unfortunately we have to deal with her, as my our dads will tolerate their sister's bullshit. She walked into the room and randomly started screaming and cursing directed towards Lia.
Context: about a month ago my aunt found out that Liam has a girlfriend and she saw a picture of her. The reason why she hates Lia so much is because she wanted Liam to marry our other cousin Jazz but of course he didn’t want to and now she found out why. Since that day she has had a daily obsession of screaming and cursing at her. She has called her all sorts of things from a gold digger to a stripper and has said every curse word you can imagine. And now she wants to kill her. Like she’s dead serious on wanting to kill her, and knowing my aunt I don’t underestimate her. She has tried to kill her ex husband and I know that she will stop at nothing to get what she wants. She calls Lia by saying a phrase in our native language which basically means “midget”. Lia is about 5’2 while Liam is 6’1. I’m sure you are wondering why I’m telling you this but trust me it’ll make sense. After my aunt left the room my cousin said to me, “I’ve seen pictures of Liam’s girlfriend on Instagram. She's almost as tall as him”. I replied by saying “no there’s quite a bit of a highet difference” . She then said “no I swear she’s like almost his height I’ll show you a picture”. I said “I’ve met her before I know how tall she is, anyways show me the picture I guess”. I also pulled up a picture on my phone. We both flipped out phones at the same time..and they were different girls. We both exclaimed “wait, that's not the same girl”. We stared at each other in shock dumbfounded. We checked the dates of the picture and they were overlapping. The picture she showed me was from 2018, when he was already with Lia. I then pulled up the page of the girl that was tagged in the photo, and saw she had pictures of him as late as 2019 when he was with Lia. I did some more research on Liam’s account and found his old account in 2019 he had romantic pictures of him and a girl. But the girl was neither Lia nor the other girl who’s name was Jess. I then found that 3rd girl Jane’s account and DMed her. I asked her if she knew anyone named Liam. She replied and said “yeah.. my ex’s name was Liam we were together from 2018-2020. I was left with my mouth opened. My cousin was with 3 girls at the same time.. my other cousin and I stared at each other unsure on what to say or feel. She asked me if Lia knew about the other girls I replied with “clearly not if she’s still with him”. She asked if he has said or done anything in the past that could possibly explain or even anything that just seemed somewhat connected to this. I thought about it and it took me no longer than two seconds to respond. I told her about the multiple times where he called her an “option” and said his options were open. She said “you remembered all of that but you didn’t remember to tell her?!”. I responded “I mean how do you tell someone the person they consider their long term and eventually want to marry is not serious about them at all and only thinks of them as one of many options”.. She laughed a bit then in a playful way said “yk you are a horrible future sister in law”. I couldn’t help but laugh as well “I probably wouldn’t be her future sister in law if she found out”. We both laughed and our other cousins joined in. Fast forward when we got ourselves together we discussed realising how messed up that actually is. I’m the only cousin who’s actually met Lia and I know she doesn’t deserve him or even this toxic ass family. I mean her future mother in law literally wants to kill her. Which I’ve also thought of telling Liam but idk if I should (advice on that as well would be appreciated). Back to the story. All of my cousins think I should tell her. I think she has the right to know. But as mentioned she’s sensitive if I tell her it’ll absolutely break her heart, and it would probably mean the end for her and Liam. But the other side of me is thinking I shouldn’t be the one to tell her. I mean it’s her relationship and I should probably stay out of it? Also what would happen between Liam and I if I told his girlfriend?.
This has been stuck in my mind. a while now. Please give me some advice I need it. Should I tell my cousin's girlfriend that her boyfriend was cheating on her with 3 different girls when they first got together and to this day he shows no regrets or commitment towards her. And should I tell my cousin the things his mom has said about his girlfriend?.
2024.05.07 16:02 Flashy-Floor305 Advice for custody issues across state lines
I’m trying to support my partner, he did not have legal representation when they divorced I have been in a stable (closed) polyamorous relationship since 2019. My partner, who just retired from the military after 20 years this week, has been consistent in paying his child support, medical, and dental for his daughter since his divorce in 2011 and visiting his daughter based on their divorce decree. Beyond the required child support, he also pays over $300 monthly for additional expenses like braces and extracurricular activities for his daughter, which is not in their decree.
In early 2022, his teenage daughter (who lives with her mother and her boyfriend in Texas) expressed her desire to move in with us due to an unhappy home life. She shared issues like being exposed to excessive drinking and fighting at home and emotional neglect from her mother. When my partner shared these concerns with his ex, communication from her mother became strained and hostile. We had to advocate for therapy for many months before his ex decided to get their daughter into treatment. His ex has been very adamant about not wanting her daughter to move in with her father, always having an excuse even though the divorce decree says at 14, she is given the choice to live with whom she wants.
Now that she is 14, her mother is preventing her father from seeing her for those 30 days this summer. Her mother has blocked all visitation efforts with excuses. She has been making derogatory posts on social media about my relationship with her father, claiming I am an unsafe person for her daughter because I am polyamorous. Completely fabricating stories that indicate that I (we) are unsafe for her daughter, and texting us at 9:45pm with odd and incoherent text messages. This has never been an issue in the past. As a family (my partner, his daughter and myself) have seen each other every summer for those same 30 day visitations, traveled to her her to visit her sporting events, and gone on vacation for Christmas and Thanksgiving every other year since 2019.
We know we need an attorney, but this is new territory for us, and we're unsure where to begin. The financial disparities between us and the child's mother are significant. She and her boyfriend live a high-end lifestyle, including multiple luxury cars and vacations, whereas we drive the same cars we had in 2016, and I cut down to part-time to go attend graduate school last August. We're concerned about our ability to afford adequate legal representation compared to what they can secure.
Since the divorce finalized in New Mexico and his daughter and ex-wife live in Texas, and we live in Florida, what legal recourse do we have to address the visitation issues and potentially modify the custody arrangements now that my partner is retiring and income is lowering?
submitted by Flashy-Floor305 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
In early 2022, his teenage daughter (who lives with her mother and her boyfriend in Texas) expressed her desire to move in with us due to an unhappy home life. She shared issues like being exposed to excessive drinking and fighting at home and emotional neglect from her mother. When my partner shared these concerns with his ex, communication from her mother became strained and hostile. We had to advocate for therapy for many months before his ex decided to get their daughter into treatment. His ex has been very adamant about not wanting her daughter to move in with her father, always having an excuse even though the divorce decree says at 14, she is given the choice to live with whom she wants.
Now that she is 14, her mother is preventing her father from seeing her for those 30 days this summer. Her mother has blocked all visitation efforts with excuses. She has been making derogatory posts on social media about my relationship with her father, claiming I am an unsafe person for her daughter because I am polyamorous. Completely fabricating stories that indicate that I (we) are unsafe for her daughter, and texting us at 9:45pm with odd and incoherent text messages. This has never been an issue in the past. As a family (my partner, his daughter and myself) have seen each other every summer for those same 30 day visitations, traveled to her her to visit her sporting events, and gone on vacation for Christmas and Thanksgiving every other year since 2019.
We know we need an attorney, but this is new territory for us, and we're unsure where to begin. The financial disparities between us and the child's mother are significant. She and her boyfriend live a high-end lifestyle, including multiple luxury cars and vacations, whereas we drive the same cars we had in 2016, and I cut down to part-time to go attend graduate school last August. We're concerned about our ability to afford adequate legal representation compared to what they can secure.
Since the divorce finalized in New Mexico and his daughter and ex-wife live in Texas, and we live in Florida, what legal recourse do we have to address the visitation issues and potentially modify the custody arrangements now that my partner is retiring and income is lowering?
2024.05.07 16:01 UnDead_Ted What Really is Faith? Truths to Boost Your Walk of Faith
 | Here's one of the most surprising things I've encountered personally and as a minister in spiritual life: believers struggling with believing God’s Word. The more I interact with other Christians in our ministry, including pastors and ministers, the more I realize we truly have a faith problem in the Church. While there are many reasons for this, today we will get back to Faith 101 to discuss fatih from first principles in a way that you will absorb and understand fully—I pray! I want to share a few truths to help clarify what faith means, starting with the basics. submitted by UnDead_Ted to TheDailyDose [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/oe0p17l9b1wc1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=2e0a381c4f09374808fa7aa317c2ce925dff6b7d The Error of “Acting to Prove Your Faith”Years ago, after absorbing numerous teachings on faith to resolve my own faith problems, I adhered to a common notion from my Pentecostal background. Since faith implies action, you must do something to "release" or "activate" your faith. Believing in God for financial provision, I brainstormed ways to “prove I have believed” or “release my faith”. I began doing things to “show that I have believed”—a major faith error.Here’s another poignant example from my dual role as a doctor and minister: witnessing Christians stop taking medications or rejecting medical treatments "in faith," leading to disastrous results. Tip: Faith is seen in our actions, but we must not prove it artificially. What we truly believe will show how we naturally talk and act when we are "not in a conditioned faith mode". These two examples underscore one problem: there is a widespread misunderstanding of what faith really is and how it works, especially among us charismatics or Pentecostals. Understanding Faith from Everyday LifeThis simple yet profound insight can unlock a deeper understanding of faith: the principle of faith is integral to our everyday life.I'll use everyday examples to illustrate how we already operate under the principle of faith in daily matters and then highlight how this differs from our faith in Christ. A Young Woman with Many Suitors https://preview.redd.it/mxjgnyneb1wc1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=45d2ba20a6097889a20e043f4bd2817d424bb30c Consider a young woman courted by multiple suitors. Naturally, she desires to know their true characters, aiming for a partner who would treat her with love, respect, and tenderness. Upon learning from a trusted friend that one suitor is disrespectful and abusive, she believes this information and naturally rejects him. This reaction embodies the principle of faith: hearing information, believing it, and acting accordingly.
Let's consider another example I discussed in our last Bible study this week. Imagine you're in your living room, watching me teach the Word of God on YouTube. Suddenly, your five-year-old daughter rushes in and exclaims, "Daddy, an airplane is going to crash on our roof!" How would you react?
Now, imagine a different scenario in which it's not your child but the police chief of your city—a person you know and trust—who calls and urgently tells you to evacuate your home because an airplane is about to crash on it. What would you do then? You'd probably leave your house immediately. Why? because you trust the police chief's reliability and would act on his warning without hesitation. Brethren, this is essentially what faith is. It is the way we act based on the things we believe.
And when he saw their faith, he said unto him, Man, thy sins are forgiven thee. (Luke 5:20, KJV) The Principle of Faith and Faith in ChristWhat distinguishes the principle of faith we use in everyday life from the faith we have in Christ?Even Atheist Believe! Every person, whether Christian or not, has the capacity to believe. For instance, atheists exercise this principle of faith, too—they believe there is no God and thus reject Christ based on this gravely mistaken belief. However, here’s the point: This belief shapes their lives profoundly, underscoring the fact that people can believe what is wrong, leading them astray. In fact, God calls the atheist a fool for this reason, The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, There is none that doeth good." (Psalm 14:1, KJV). Thus, even those who deny God's existence are inadvertently following a principle of faith by adhering to their beliefs. https://preview.redd.it/4wey44qob1wc1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=f8fdfd267d3dfdbb61bfa8334e83e390abb2e967 What About Demons? Moreover, Scripture tells us that even demons believe in God’s existence: Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble." (James 2:19, KJV). This highlights that mere belief in existence is not sufficient for saving faith. The critical difference between the everyday principle of faith and the faith in Christ lies in the specifics of what is believed and how it directs our lives.
No one can say 'Jesus is Lord' except by the Holy Spirit." (1 Corinthians 12:3, KJV). This underscores the essential role of the Holy Spirit in transforming our understanding and acceptance of God's truth, moving us beyond simple human belief into a profound, spiritually enabled faith. What Really is Faith?To distill the essence of faith without delving too deeply into technicalities, consider the simple illustrations mentioned earlier. Faith is essentially how you act based on the Word of God you believe to be true. It comprises two main aspects: Believing Faith starts with accepting the Word of God as true. Today, a significant problem with faith is that while many can verbally speak to mountains of disease, demons, or poverty to move, very few deeply believe in their heart that such commands will work.
The core of this newsletter is about how your beliefs manifest naturally in your actions. You don’t need to force or "act out" your faith.
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Invest in Your FaithInvesting in your faith is one of the most crucial commitments you can make in Christianity. I once believed I was a man of faith until the Holy Spirit revealed how little I truly accepted many things I thought I believed.You might be surprised to find that your heart has not truly embraced many truths of the Scriptures you assumed you believed. For instance, if you believe you can command a demon and it will obey, that belief will transform how you live. Imagine if Christians truly believe that, it will change how we act! Here are my recommendations for boosting your faith:
|
2024.05.07 16:00 Crystal821711 Should I tell my cousin’s girlfriend that her boyfriend was cheating on her with 3 different girls when they first got together and to this day he shows no regrets or commitment towards her.
I am 14 female and have a cousin Liam 25 male, who’s been with his girlfriend Lia 23 for 6 years.
For this to make sense let me give some context. I am not close with Liam at all as my aunt, his mother, and his father divorced before I was even born. So he lives in the US with his father and I live in Canada. I’m very close to his older sister Bea, as she’s stayed in Canada living independently. Liam kept his contact with his mother very minimal. I don’t blame him at all. My aunt is a really difficult person to be around. I don’t like her either and if I had a choice I would’ve cut her off a long time ago. She’s toxic, manipulative and her ego is out of this world she is the reason her kids don’t want to speak to her. She basically verbally abused them their entire life. She’s also attempted to murder their dad, and now wants to murder his girlfriend. As mentioned growing up I’ve always been close to Bea and is close with her uncle and aunt (my parents) the times I’ve met Liam have usually been at her events, but more on that later. I must also add that we are a Muslim family, however Liam and his sister Bea have drifted away from Islam. Bea has married a non Muslim man. And the girl Liam is dating is a non Muslim as well. However it’s critical to add that both of their partners are absolutely wonderful people.
Okay so now with all of that out of the way I can finally begin.
I’ve met Liam a handful of times since I was little, but the first more promement memory I have of meeting him was 2 months before Bea’s wedding when I was 11. he came to Canada to shop with her. Bea invited us to come as well. We all met up at lunch, and started talking. Liam was chill and we were having a good time. Then my mom asked Liam if he was seeing anyone. He brought up his girlfriend Lia and told us a little bit about her, that they’d been together for 3 years, and she seemed like a really sweet girl. We looked forward to meeting her at the wedding. Not much more was said about the conversation and soon the food came. We started talking about the bachelorette party and then Liam spoke “yeah that’s why I’m not eating anything. we’re gonna be partying on a beach. Gotta look good for the ladies. Yk in case anyone is a suitable wife”. I turned to face him and said “you literally just mentioned the fact that you have a girlfriend”. And he replied with “gotta keep your options open”. He laughed and then started ranting about her saying that she’s to sensitive and she gets upset easily and that by keeping his options open he can find someone better. Even though I was 11 I was pretty mature for my age and definitely observant. I found that really weird but didn’t say anything else. Fast forward to the wedding and I met his girlfriend. When I say she is an absolute sweetheart, I mean she is literally one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. And she’s absolutely head over heels for Liam. Like I mean she was talking about wanting to marry him one day. I was sceptical of that though as Liam seemed very uncommitted to her. Like I mean even at the wedding he was flirting with random girls, leaving his poor girlfriend sitting alone. This is where I began to have suspicions that he’s unJessful to his girlfriend. But I ignored it at the time. After that I saw him every few months, and usually Lia would be there too. I really liked her. She was super sweet and easy to get along with. Meanwhile at basically every event I had more and more suspicions of Liam being unJessful, every chance Liam got he would mention having his “options” open. I still kept my mouth shut over the next 2 years. Until recently, I went to my home country to visit my family. Me and a few cousins were just hanging out and talking. Suddenly our mood got interrupted by Liam’s mom barging in. Let me make it clear that my other cousins don’t like her either and do everything to avoid her. But she is mine and my cousin's dads sister so unfortunately we have to deal with her, as my our dads will tolerate their sister's bullshit. She walked into the room and randomly started screaming and cursing directed towards Lia.
Context: about a month ago my aunt found out that Liam has a girlfriend and she saw a picture of her. The reason why she hates Lia so much is because she wanted Liam to marry our other cousin Jazz but of course he didn’t want to and now she found out why. Since that day she has had a daily obsession of screaming and cursing at her. She has called her all sorts of things from a gold digger to a stripper and has said every curse word you can imagine. And now she wants to kill her. Like she’s dead serious on wanting to kill her, and knowing my aunt I don’t underestimate her. She has tried to kill her ex husband and I know that she will stop at nothing to get what she wants. She calls Lia by saying a phrase in our native language which basically means “midget”. Lia is about 5’2 while Liam is 6’1. I’m sure you are wondering why I’m telling you this but trust me it’ll make sense. After my aunt left the room my cousin said to me, “I’ve seen pictures of Liam’s girlfriend on Instagram. She's almost as tall as him”. I replied by saying “no there’s quite a bit of a highet difference” . She then said “no I swear she’s like almost his height I’ll show you a picture”. I said “I’ve met her before I know how tall she is, anyways show me the picture I guess”. I also pulled up a picture on my phone. We both flipped out phones at the same time..and they were different girls. We both exclaimed “wait, that's not the same girl”. We stared at each other in shock dumbfounded. We checked the dates of the picture and they were overlapping. The picture she showed me was from 2018, when he was already with Lia. I then pulled up the page of the girl that was tagged in the photo, and saw she had pictures of him as late as 2019 when he was with Lia. I did some more research on Liam’s account and found his old account in 2019 he had romantic pictures of him and a girl. But the girl was neither Lia nor the other girl who’s name was Jess. I then found that 3rd girl Jane’s account and DMed her. I asked her if she knew anyone named Liam. She replied and said “yeah.. my ex’s name was Liam we were together from 2018-2020. I was left with my mouth opened. My cousin was with 3 girls at the same time.. my other cousin and I stared at each other unsure on what to say or feel. She asked me if Lia knew about the other girls I replied with “clearly not if she’s still with him”. She asked if he has said or done anything in the past that could possibly explain or even anything that just seemed somewhat connected to this. I thought about it and it took me no longer than two seconds to respond. I told her about the multiple times where he called her an “option” and said his options were open. She said “you remembered all of that but you didn’t remember to tell her?!”. I responded “I mean how do you tell someone the person they consider their long term and eventually want to marry is not serious about them at all and only thinks of them as one of many options”.. She laughed a bit then in a playful way said “yk you are a horrible future sister in law”. I couldn’t help but laugh as well “I probably wouldn’t be her future sister in law if she found out”. We both laughed and our other cousins joined in. Fast forward when we got ourselves together we discussed realising how messed up that actually is. I’m the only cousin who’s actually met Lia and I know she doesn’t deserve him or even this toxic ass family. I mean her future mother in law literally wants to kill her. Which I’ve also thought of telling Liam but idk if I should (advice on that as well would be appreciated). Back to the story. All of my cousins think I should tell her. I think she has the right to know. But as mentioned she’s sensitive if I tell her it’ll absolutely break her heart, and it would probably mean the end for her and Liam. But the other side of me is thinking I shouldn’t be the one to tell her. I mean it’s her relationship and I should probably stay out of it? Also what would happen between Liam and I if I told his girlfriend?.
This has been stuck in my mind. a while now. Please give me some advice I need it. Should I tell my cousin's girlfriend that her boyfriend was cheating on her with 3 different girls when they first got together and to this day he shows no regrets or commitment towards her. And should I tell my cousin the things his mom has said about his girlfriend?.
submitted by Crystal821711 to u/Crystal821711 [link] [comments]
For this to make sense let me give some context. I am not close with Liam at all as my aunt, his mother, and his father divorced before I was even born. So he lives in the US with his father and I live in Canada. I’m very close to his older sister Bea, as she’s stayed in Canada living independently. Liam kept his contact with his mother very minimal. I don’t blame him at all. My aunt is a really difficult person to be around. I don’t like her either and if I had a choice I would’ve cut her off a long time ago. She’s toxic, manipulative and her ego is out of this world she is the reason her kids don’t want to speak to her. She basically verbally abused them their entire life. She’s also attempted to murder their dad, and now wants to murder his girlfriend. As mentioned growing up I’ve always been close to Bea and is close with her uncle and aunt (my parents) the times I’ve met Liam have usually been at her events, but more on that later. I must also add that we are a Muslim family, however Liam and his sister Bea have drifted away from Islam. Bea has married a non Muslim man. And the girl Liam is dating is a non Muslim as well. However it’s critical to add that both of their partners are absolutely wonderful people.
Okay so now with all of that out of the way I can finally begin.
I’ve met Liam a handful of times since I was little, but the first more promement memory I have of meeting him was 2 months before Bea’s wedding when I was 11. he came to Canada to shop with her. Bea invited us to come as well. We all met up at lunch, and started talking. Liam was chill and we were having a good time. Then my mom asked Liam if he was seeing anyone. He brought up his girlfriend Lia and told us a little bit about her, that they’d been together for 3 years, and she seemed like a really sweet girl. We looked forward to meeting her at the wedding. Not much more was said about the conversation and soon the food came. We started talking about the bachelorette party and then Liam spoke “yeah that’s why I’m not eating anything. we’re gonna be partying on a beach. Gotta look good for the ladies. Yk in case anyone is a suitable wife”. I turned to face him and said “you literally just mentioned the fact that you have a girlfriend”. And he replied with “gotta keep your options open”. He laughed and then started ranting about her saying that she’s to sensitive and she gets upset easily and that by keeping his options open he can find someone better. Even though I was 11 I was pretty mature for my age and definitely observant. I found that really weird but didn’t say anything else. Fast forward to the wedding and I met his girlfriend. When I say she is an absolute sweetheart, I mean she is literally one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. And she’s absolutely head over heels for Liam. Like I mean she was talking about wanting to marry him one day. I was sceptical of that though as Liam seemed very uncommitted to her. Like I mean even at the wedding he was flirting with random girls, leaving his poor girlfriend sitting alone. This is where I began to have suspicions that he’s unJessful to his girlfriend. But I ignored it at the time. After that I saw him every few months, and usually Lia would be there too. I really liked her. She was super sweet and easy to get along with. Meanwhile at basically every event I had more and more suspicions of Liam being unJessful, every chance Liam got he would mention having his “options” open. I still kept my mouth shut over the next 2 years. Until recently, I went to my home country to visit my family. Me and a few cousins were just hanging out and talking. Suddenly our mood got interrupted by Liam’s mom barging in. Let me make it clear that my other cousins don’t like her either and do everything to avoid her. But she is mine and my cousin's dads sister so unfortunately we have to deal with her, as my our dads will tolerate their sister's bullshit. She walked into the room and randomly started screaming and cursing directed towards Lia.
Context: about a month ago my aunt found out that Liam has a girlfriend and she saw a picture of her. The reason why she hates Lia so much is because she wanted Liam to marry our other cousin Jazz but of course he didn’t want to and now she found out why. Since that day she has had a daily obsession of screaming and cursing at her. She has called her all sorts of things from a gold digger to a stripper and has said every curse word you can imagine. And now she wants to kill her. Like she’s dead serious on wanting to kill her, and knowing my aunt I don’t underestimate her. She has tried to kill her ex husband and I know that she will stop at nothing to get what she wants. She calls Lia by saying a phrase in our native language which basically means “midget”. Lia is about 5’2 while Liam is 6’1. I’m sure you are wondering why I’m telling you this but trust me it’ll make sense. After my aunt left the room my cousin said to me, “I’ve seen pictures of Liam’s girlfriend on Instagram. She's almost as tall as him”. I replied by saying “no there’s quite a bit of a highet difference” . She then said “no I swear she’s like almost his height I’ll show you a picture”. I said “I’ve met her before I know how tall she is, anyways show me the picture I guess”. I also pulled up a picture on my phone. We both flipped out phones at the same time..and they were different girls. We both exclaimed “wait, that's not the same girl”. We stared at each other in shock dumbfounded. We checked the dates of the picture and they were overlapping. The picture she showed me was from 2018, when he was already with Lia. I then pulled up the page of the girl that was tagged in the photo, and saw she had pictures of him as late as 2019 when he was with Lia. I did some more research on Liam’s account and found his old account in 2019 he had romantic pictures of him and a girl. But the girl was neither Lia nor the other girl who’s name was Jess. I then found that 3rd girl Jane’s account and DMed her. I asked her if she knew anyone named Liam. She replied and said “yeah.. my ex’s name was Liam we were together from 2018-2020. I was left with my mouth opened. My cousin was with 3 girls at the same time.. my other cousin and I stared at each other unsure on what to say or feel. She asked me if Lia knew about the other girls I replied with “clearly not if she’s still with him”. She asked if he has said or done anything in the past that could possibly explain or even anything that just seemed somewhat connected to this. I thought about it and it took me no longer than two seconds to respond. I told her about the multiple times where he called her an “option” and said his options were open. She said “you remembered all of that but you didn’t remember to tell her?!”. I responded “I mean how do you tell someone the person they consider their long term and eventually want to marry is not serious about them at all and only thinks of them as one of many options”.. She laughed a bit then in a playful way said “yk you are a horrible future sister in law”. I couldn’t help but laugh as well “I probably wouldn’t be her future sister in law if she found out”. We both laughed and our other cousins joined in. Fast forward when we got ourselves together we discussed realising how messed up that actually is. I’m the only cousin who’s actually met Lia and I know she doesn’t deserve him or even this toxic ass family. I mean her future mother in law literally wants to kill her. Which I’ve also thought of telling Liam but idk if I should (advice on that as well would be appreciated). Back to the story. All of my cousins think I should tell her. I think she has the right to know. But as mentioned she’s sensitive if I tell her it’ll absolutely break her heart, and it would probably mean the end for her and Liam. But the other side of me is thinking I shouldn’t be the one to tell her. I mean it’s her relationship and I should probably stay out of it? Also what would happen between Liam and I if I told his girlfriend?.
This has been stuck in my mind. a while now. Please give me some advice I need it. Should I tell my cousin's girlfriend that her boyfriend was cheating on her with 3 different girls when they first got together and to this day he shows no regrets or commitment towards her. And should I tell my cousin the things his mom has said about his girlfriend?.
2024.05.07 15:58 Classic_Drive7132 Can’t tell if I’m crazy or if he’s just driving me crazy.
Sorry this is long. So my husband and I have been together for 20 years now, married for 12. Overall, in my opinion, we both really love each other, and have a pretty good marriage, most of the time. Our situation was a “love at first sight” type of story when we were 18 and 19 and we’ve been inseparable ever since.
The issue is that he comes from a pretty toxic home, his parents stayed together yet they really shouldn’t have, and much of the animosity was put on the kid’s shoulders. The fighting continues to this day to the point where they’ve asked their kids to take sides and subsequently cut ties with the ones who didn’t. So his mom now doesn’t speak to him. It was and is still a terrible environment to grow up in and he was never taught how to properly control his emotions. While he tries as much as he can, he tends to really lose it when stuff gets tough, especially when our kids (8 & 11) test his patience.
So I can overall handle most of this, and like I said, he really is such a great husband, father and human when everything is going well. He shows me love, holds my hand when songs come on that talk about love, dances with me in the living room, that kind of stuff. But when things get a little bit tough, shit really hits the fan. Most of our fights happen over the kids, because he tends to really have no patience when they are misbehaving or whiny and instead of just handling it a calm yet consistent way, he tends to lose it on them, screaming into their faces, sometimes it feels like if my daughter has a tantrum, he’ll have one with her, instead of calming her down. For my older one, my son, he is very hard on him, often talking down to him, punishing him extremely and often, yet rarely actually holding the punishment for the time he says he will. It’s like a rollercoaster, because while I understand punishments they should be something like “you will get your games taken away tomorrow” but his are automatically “your games are gone for a month” and then he never actually goes through with the whole month. He’s just constantly reprimanding him and my son is always walking on egg shells, he can do nothing right. And he really doesn’t deserve it, he’s a good kid, reads a lot, is in gifted and talented, well behaved and often the teachers tell me he’s the best behaved in class.
I have gotten to the point where I have become fed up with his excessive screaming so when it happens I have a hard time holding back and I start telling him to stop, and we get into a bad fight. Of course this is not the best course of action and creates a mess but I have calmly discussed with him 100000x about how I feel when he acts this way and he may sometimes agree but he still never changes his approach. I keep telling him that he can still teach the same lesson just in a calm way, I can’t watch as my kids tremble in fear anymore. He often feels like I’m undermining him and I have no respect for him as the father and that I’m teaching my kids to disrespect him, etc. So it has now become a huge issue in our marriage. I have asked him to go to therapy or counseling but he is absolutely 100% against it and there is nothing I can do to make him go. But the biggest problem is is that he won’t talk to me, there is no communication, most of the time he will just stare into his phone while I talk and he won’t put it down to even look at me, no matter how much I beg. There is no healthy discussion at all, just me talking about how I feel and him possibly turning it over in his head and getting better for a bit and then as soon as stuff gets stressful at work etc he loses it on the kids and we go back into the same routine.
So now that this has become such a huge issue in our marriage, every time it happens he now loses his mind and becomes really mean towards me. And it’s not all the time, it’s just during the blow outs and then we slowly go back to being a normal happy family. If I could describe it, it’s like a rollercoaster and I absolutely hate the lows. The highs are so high and amazing and then he takes it so low that I feel like vomiting most of the time. Since there is no healthy communication I just have to put everything aside for the kids and I have grown a bit bitter from it, which in turn makes me not very sexually active and he finds that as an insult and blames me for it. I keep trying to explain to him that it stems from us not communicating but he doesn’t think I’m right and basically thinks that I’m not appreciating his hard work as a provider etc. I keep trying to explain to him that I just want to go on a date somewhere where we can talk about everything and that it would be so good for us to try to work on this together, but he thinks I’m just being needy.
Recently, we got into another huge fight and I begged him to please talk to me and that I want to work on this and he said no, he’s done. So I asked if he wants a divorce and he said yes and I asked if he loved me and he said no. And the thing is, this is not the first time he’s said that to me and turned back around a few weeks later and acted super in love and like nothing ever happened. And we will go for months in absolute bliss, like spooning at night and holding hands etc. But he does this once things get rough, it’s how he wants to show me how mad he is, and so now we have to go through this horrible routine until things quiet down again and we go back to being normal, but what kills me is that he doesn’t care how it makes the kids feel and I can see them being absolutely affected by this. So this time around, I called his bluff and asked him to move out, he told me he’s not moving anywhere, so I told him I’d move to my parents then. He then said there’s no sense in stressing the kids out and he will move to the basement… it’s so ridiculous. I just want to protect my kids from this nonsense. So now we are living separate lives in the same house and I know he’s just waiting for me to give in and patch it back up but I’m so tired of this.
What am I supposed to do now? I definitely don’t want a divorce. I love him and I know he loves me. Mostly, I just wish he’d get help and we can get some counseling because when we are good, we are really good. But he’s too stubborn to do it. I’m just so lost at what to do. I don’t want to make the first move but I know he won’t make it, so if I don’t then we will just live like this stressing the kids out and they are my first priority and they are why I always give in first and bottle my feelings so they don’t need to feel the stress. I’m also a stay at home parent and he knows he has the upper hand, it makes my stomach hurt. Help!
submitted by Classic_Drive7132 to Marriage [link] [comments]
The issue is that he comes from a pretty toxic home, his parents stayed together yet they really shouldn’t have, and much of the animosity was put on the kid’s shoulders. The fighting continues to this day to the point where they’ve asked their kids to take sides and subsequently cut ties with the ones who didn’t. So his mom now doesn’t speak to him. It was and is still a terrible environment to grow up in and he was never taught how to properly control his emotions. While he tries as much as he can, he tends to really lose it when stuff gets tough, especially when our kids (8 & 11) test his patience.
So I can overall handle most of this, and like I said, he really is such a great husband, father and human when everything is going well. He shows me love, holds my hand when songs come on that talk about love, dances with me in the living room, that kind of stuff. But when things get a little bit tough, shit really hits the fan. Most of our fights happen over the kids, because he tends to really have no patience when they are misbehaving or whiny and instead of just handling it a calm yet consistent way, he tends to lose it on them, screaming into their faces, sometimes it feels like if my daughter has a tantrum, he’ll have one with her, instead of calming her down. For my older one, my son, he is very hard on him, often talking down to him, punishing him extremely and often, yet rarely actually holding the punishment for the time he says he will. It’s like a rollercoaster, because while I understand punishments they should be something like “you will get your games taken away tomorrow” but his are automatically “your games are gone for a month” and then he never actually goes through with the whole month. He’s just constantly reprimanding him and my son is always walking on egg shells, he can do nothing right. And he really doesn’t deserve it, he’s a good kid, reads a lot, is in gifted and talented, well behaved and often the teachers tell me he’s the best behaved in class.
I have gotten to the point where I have become fed up with his excessive screaming so when it happens I have a hard time holding back and I start telling him to stop, and we get into a bad fight. Of course this is not the best course of action and creates a mess but I have calmly discussed with him 100000x about how I feel when he acts this way and he may sometimes agree but he still never changes his approach. I keep telling him that he can still teach the same lesson just in a calm way, I can’t watch as my kids tremble in fear anymore. He often feels like I’m undermining him and I have no respect for him as the father and that I’m teaching my kids to disrespect him, etc. So it has now become a huge issue in our marriage. I have asked him to go to therapy or counseling but he is absolutely 100% against it and there is nothing I can do to make him go. But the biggest problem is is that he won’t talk to me, there is no communication, most of the time he will just stare into his phone while I talk and he won’t put it down to even look at me, no matter how much I beg. There is no healthy discussion at all, just me talking about how I feel and him possibly turning it over in his head and getting better for a bit and then as soon as stuff gets stressful at work etc he loses it on the kids and we go back into the same routine.
So now that this has become such a huge issue in our marriage, every time it happens he now loses his mind and becomes really mean towards me. And it’s not all the time, it’s just during the blow outs and then we slowly go back to being a normal happy family. If I could describe it, it’s like a rollercoaster and I absolutely hate the lows. The highs are so high and amazing and then he takes it so low that I feel like vomiting most of the time. Since there is no healthy communication I just have to put everything aside for the kids and I have grown a bit bitter from it, which in turn makes me not very sexually active and he finds that as an insult and blames me for it. I keep trying to explain to him that it stems from us not communicating but he doesn’t think I’m right and basically thinks that I’m not appreciating his hard work as a provider etc. I keep trying to explain to him that I just want to go on a date somewhere where we can talk about everything and that it would be so good for us to try to work on this together, but he thinks I’m just being needy.
Recently, we got into another huge fight and I begged him to please talk to me and that I want to work on this and he said no, he’s done. So I asked if he wants a divorce and he said yes and I asked if he loved me and he said no. And the thing is, this is not the first time he’s said that to me and turned back around a few weeks later and acted super in love and like nothing ever happened. And we will go for months in absolute bliss, like spooning at night and holding hands etc. But he does this once things get rough, it’s how he wants to show me how mad he is, and so now we have to go through this horrible routine until things quiet down again and we go back to being normal, but what kills me is that he doesn’t care how it makes the kids feel and I can see them being absolutely affected by this. So this time around, I called his bluff and asked him to move out, he told me he’s not moving anywhere, so I told him I’d move to my parents then. He then said there’s no sense in stressing the kids out and he will move to the basement… it’s so ridiculous. I just want to protect my kids from this nonsense. So now we are living separate lives in the same house and I know he’s just waiting for me to give in and patch it back up but I’m so tired of this.
What am I supposed to do now? I definitely don’t want a divorce. I love him and I know he loves me. Mostly, I just wish he’d get help and we can get some counseling because when we are good, we are really good. But he’s too stubborn to do it. I’m just so lost at what to do. I don’t want to make the first move but I know he won’t make it, so if I don’t then we will just live like this stressing the kids out and they are my first priority and they are why I always give in first and bottle my feelings so they don’t need to feel the stress. I’m also a stay at home parent and he knows he has the upper hand, it makes my stomach hurt. Help!
2024.05.07 15:58 Crystal821711 Should I tell my cousin’s girlfriend that her boyfriend was cheating on her with 3 different girls when they first got together and to this day he shows no regrets or commitment towards her.
I am 14 female and have a cousin Liam 25 male, who’s been with his girlfriend Lia 23 for 6 years.
For this to make sense let me give some context. I am not close with Liam at all as my aunt, his mother, and his father divorced before I was even born. So he lives in the US with his father and I live in Canada. I’m very close to his older sister Bea, as she’s stayed in Canada living independently. Liam kept his contact with his mother very minimal. I don’t blame him at all. My aunt is a really difficult person to be around. I don’t like her either and if I had a choice I would’ve cut her off a long time ago. She’s toxic, manipulative and her ego is out of this world she is the reason her kids don’t want to speak to her. She basically verbally abused them their entire life. She’s also attempted to murder their dad, and now wants to murder his girlfriend. As mentioned growing up I’ve always been close to Bea and is close with her uncle and aunt (my parents) the times I’ve met Liam have usually been at her events, but more on that later. I must also add that we are a Muslim family, however Liam and his sister Bea have drifted away from Islam. Bea has married a non Muslim man. And the girl Liam is dating is a non Muslim as well. However it’s critical to add that both of their partners are absolutely wonderful people.
Okay so now with all of that out of the way I can finally begin.
I’ve met Liam a handful of times since I was little, but the first more promement memory I have of meeting him was 2 months before Bea’s wedding when I was 11. he came to Canada to shop with her. Bea invited us to come as well. We all met up at lunch, and started talking. Liam was chill and we were having a good time. Then my mom asked Liam if he was seeing anyone. He brought up his girlfriend Lia and told us a little bit about her, that they’d been together for 3 years, and she seemed like a really sweet girl. We looked forward to meeting her at the wedding. Not much more was said about the conversation and soon the food came. We started talking about the bachelorette party and then Liam spoke “yeah that’s why I’m not eating anything. we’re gonna be partying on a beach. Gotta look good for the ladies. Yk in case anyone is a suitable wife”. I turned to face him and said “you literally just mentioned the fact that you have a girlfriend”. And he replied with “gotta keep your options open”. He laughed and then started ranting about her saying that she’s to sensitive and she gets upset easily and that by keeping his options open he can find someone better. Even though I was 11 I was pretty mature for my age and definitely observant. I found that really weird but didn’t say anything else. Fast forward to the wedding and I met his girlfriend. When I say she is an absolute sweetheart, I mean she is literally one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. And she’s absolutely head over heels for Liam. Like I mean she was talking about wanting to marry him one day. I was sceptical of that though as Liam seemed very uncommitted to her. Like I mean even at the wedding he was flirting with random girls, leaving his poor girlfriend sitting alone. This is where I began to have suspicions that he’s unJessful to his girlfriend. But I ignored it at the time. After that I saw him every few months, and usually Lia would be there too. I really liked her. She was super sweet and easy to get along with. Meanwhile at basically every event I had more and more suspicions of Liam being unJessful, every chance Liam got he would mention having his “options” open. I still kept my mouth shut over the next 2 years. Until recently, I went to my home country to visit my family. Me and a few cousins were just hanging out and talking. Suddenly our mood got interrupted by Liam’s mom barging in. Let me make it clear that my other cousins don’t like her either and do everything to avoid her. But she is mine and my cousin's dads sister so unfortunately we have to deal with her, as my our dads will tolerate their sister's bullshit. She walked into the room and randomly started screaming and cursing directed towards Lia.
Context: about a month ago my aunt found out that Liam has a girlfriend and she saw a picture of her. The reason why she hates Lia so much is because she wanted Liam to marry our other cousin Jazz but of course he didn’t want to and now she found out why. Since that day she has had a daily obsession of screaming and cursing at her. She has called her all sorts of things from a gold digger to a stripper and has said every curse word you can imagine. And now she wants to kill her. Like she’s dead serious on wanting to kill her, and knowing my aunt I don’t underestimate her. She has tried to kill her ex husband and I know that she will stop at nothing to get what she wants. She calls Lia by saying a phrase in our native language which basically means “midget”. Lia is about 5’2 while Liam is 6’1. I’m sure you are wondering why I’m telling you this but trust me it’ll make sense. After my aunt left the room my cousin said to me, “I’ve seen pictures of Liam’s girlfriend on Instagram. She's almost as tall as him”. I replied by saying “no there’s quite a bit of a highet difference” . She then said “no I swear she’s like almost his height I’ll show you a picture”. I said “I’ve met her before I know how tall she is, anyways show me the picture I guess”. I also pulled up a picture on my phone. We both flipped out phones at the same time..and they were different girls. We both exclaimed “wait, that's not the same girl”. We stared at each other in shock dumbfounded. We checked the dates of the picture and they were overlapping. The picture she showed me was from 2018, when he was already with Lia. I then pulled up the page of the girl that was tagged in the photo, and saw she had pictures of him as late as 2019 when he was with Lia. I did some more research on Liam’s account and found his old account in 2019 he had romantic pictures of him and a girl. But the girl was neither Lia nor the other girl who’s name was Jess. I then found that 3rd girl Jane’s account and DMed her. I asked her if she knew anyone named Liam. She replied and said “yeah.. my ex’s name was Liam we were together from 2018-2020. I was left with my mouth opened. My cousin was with 3 girls at the same time.. my other cousin and I stared at each other unsure on what to say or feel. She asked me if Lia knew about the other girls I replied with “clearly not if she’s still with him”. She asked if he has said or done anything in the past that could possibly explain or even anything that just seemed somewhat connected to this. I thought about it and it took me no longer than two seconds to respond. I told her about the multiple times where he called her an “option” and said his options were open. She said “you remembered all of that but you didn’t remember to tell her?!”. I responded “I mean how do you tell someone the person they consider their long term and eventually want to marry is not serious about them at all and only thinks of them as one of many options”.. She laughed a bit then in a playful way said “yk you are a horrible future sister in law”. I couldn’t help but laugh as well “I probably wouldn’t be her future sister in law if she found out”. We both laughed and our other cousins joined in. Fast forward when we got ourselves together we discussed realising how messed up that actually is. I’m the only cousin who’s actually met Lia and I know she doesn’t deserve him or even this toxic ass family. I mean her future mother in law literally wants to kill her. Which I’ve also thought of telling Liam but idk if I should (advice on that as well would be appreciated). Back to the story. All of my cousins think I should tell her. I think she has the right to know. But as mentioned she’s sensitive if I tell her it’ll absolutely break her heart, and it would probably mean the end for her and Liam. But the other side of me is thinking I shouldn’t be the one to tell her. I mean it’s her relationship and I should probably stay out of it? Also what would happen between Liam and I if I told his girlfriend?.
This has been stuck in my mind. a while now. Please give me some advice I need it. Should I tell my cousin's girlfriend that her boyfriend was cheating on her with 3 different girls when they first got together and to this day he shows no regrets or commitment towards her. And should I tell my cousin the things his mom has said about his girlfriend?.
submitted by Crystal821711 to amiwrong [link] [comments]
For this to make sense let me give some context. I am not close with Liam at all as my aunt, his mother, and his father divorced before I was even born. So he lives in the US with his father and I live in Canada. I’m very close to his older sister Bea, as she’s stayed in Canada living independently. Liam kept his contact with his mother very minimal. I don’t blame him at all. My aunt is a really difficult person to be around. I don’t like her either and if I had a choice I would’ve cut her off a long time ago. She’s toxic, manipulative and her ego is out of this world she is the reason her kids don’t want to speak to her. She basically verbally abused them their entire life. She’s also attempted to murder their dad, and now wants to murder his girlfriend. As mentioned growing up I’ve always been close to Bea and is close with her uncle and aunt (my parents) the times I’ve met Liam have usually been at her events, but more on that later. I must also add that we are a Muslim family, however Liam and his sister Bea have drifted away from Islam. Bea has married a non Muslim man. And the girl Liam is dating is a non Muslim as well. However it’s critical to add that both of their partners are absolutely wonderful people.
Okay so now with all of that out of the way I can finally begin.
I’ve met Liam a handful of times since I was little, but the first more promement memory I have of meeting him was 2 months before Bea’s wedding when I was 11. he came to Canada to shop with her. Bea invited us to come as well. We all met up at lunch, and started talking. Liam was chill and we were having a good time. Then my mom asked Liam if he was seeing anyone. He brought up his girlfriend Lia and told us a little bit about her, that they’d been together for 3 years, and she seemed like a really sweet girl. We looked forward to meeting her at the wedding. Not much more was said about the conversation and soon the food came. We started talking about the bachelorette party and then Liam spoke “yeah that’s why I’m not eating anything. we’re gonna be partying on a beach. Gotta look good for the ladies. Yk in case anyone is a suitable wife”. I turned to face him and said “you literally just mentioned the fact that you have a girlfriend”. And he replied with “gotta keep your options open”. He laughed and then started ranting about her saying that she’s to sensitive and she gets upset easily and that by keeping his options open he can find someone better. Even though I was 11 I was pretty mature for my age and definitely observant. I found that really weird but didn’t say anything else. Fast forward to the wedding and I met his girlfriend. When I say she is an absolute sweetheart, I mean she is literally one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. And she’s absolutely head over heels for Liam. Like I mean she was talking about wanting to marry him one day. I was sceptical of that though as Liam seemed very uncommitted to her. Like I mean even at the wedding he was flirting with random girls, leaving his poor girlfriend sitting alone. This is where I began to have suspicions that he’s unJessful to his girlfriend. But I ignored it at the time. After that I saw him every few months, and usually Lia would be there too. I really liked her. She was super sweet and easy to get along with. Meanwhile at basically every event I had more and more suspicions of Liam being unJessful, every chance Liam got he would mention having his “options” open. I still kept my mouth shut over the next 2 years. Until recently, I went to my home country to visit my family. Me and a few cousins were just hanging out and talking. Suddenly our mood got interrupted by Liam’s mom barging in. Let me make it clear that my other cousins don’t like her either and do everything to avoid her. But she is mine and my cousin's dads sister so unfortunately we have to deal with her, as my our dads will tolerate their sister's bullshit. She walked into the room and randomly started screaming and cursing directed towards Lia.
Context: about a month ago my aunt found out that Liam has a girlfriend and she saw a picture of her. The reason why she hates Lia so much is because she wanted Liam to marry our other cousin Jazz but of course he didn’t want to and now she found out why. Since that day she has had a daily obsession of screaming and cursing at her. She has called her all sorts of things from a gold digger to a stripper and has said every curse word you can imagine. And now she wants to kill her. Like she’s dead serious on wanting to kill her, and knowing my aunt I don’t underestimate her. She has tried to kill her ex husband and I know that she will stop at nothing to get what she wants. She calls Lia by saying a phrase in our native language which basically means “midget”. Lia is about 5’2 while Liam is 6’1. I’m sure you are wondering why I’m telling you this but trust me it’ll make sense. After my aunt left the room my cousin said to me, “I’ve seen pictures of Liam’s girlfriend on Instagram. She's almost as tall as him”. I replied by saying “no there’s quite a bit of a highet difference” . She then said “no I swear she’s like almost his height I’ll show you a picture”. I said “I’ve met her before I know how tall she is, anyways show me the picture I guess”. I also pulled up a picture on my phone. We both flipped out phones at the same time..and they were different girls. We both exclaimed “wait, that's not the same girl”. We stared at each other in shock dumbfounded. We checked the dates of the picture and they were overlapping. The picture she showed me was from 2018, when he was already with Lia. I then pulled up the page of the girl that was tagged in the photo, and saw she had pictures of him as late as 2019 when he was with Lia. I did some more research on Liam’s account and found his old account in 2019 he had romantic pictures of him and a girl. But the girl was neither Lia nor the other girl who’s name was Jess. I then found that 3rd girl Jane’s account and DMed her. I asked her if she knew anyone named Liam. She replied and said “yeah.. my ex’s name was Liam we were together from 2018-2020. I was left with my mouth opened. My cousin was with 3 girls at the same time.. my other cousin and I stared at each other unsure on what to say or feel. She asked me if Lia knew about the other girls I replied with “clearly not if she’s still with him”. She asked if he has said or done anything in the past that could possibly explain or even anything that just seemed somewhat connected to this. I thought about it and it took me no longer than two seconds to respond. I told her about the multiple times where he called her an “option” and said his options were open. She said “you remembered all of that but you didn’t remember to tell her?!”. I responded “I mean how do you tell someone the person they consider their long term and eventually want to marry is not serious about them at all and only thinks of them as one of many options”.. She laughed a bit then in a playful way said “yk you are a horrible future sister in law”. I couldn’t help but laugh as well “I probably wouldn’t be her future sister in law if she found out”. We both laughed and our other cousins joined in. Fast forward when we got ourselves together we discussed realising how messed up that actually is. I’m the only cousin who’s actually met Lia and I know she doesn’t deserve him or even this toxic ass family. I mean her future mother in law literally wants to kill her. Which I’ve also thought of telling Liam but idk if I should (advice on that as well would be appreciated). Back to the story. All of my cousins think I should tell her. I think she has the right to know. But as mentioned she’s sensitive if I tell her it’ll absolutely break her heart, and it would probably mean the end for her and Liam. But the other side of me is thinking I shouldn’t be the one to tell her. I mean it’s her relationship and I should probably stay out of it? Also what would happen between Liam and I if I told his girlfriend?.
This has been stuck in my mind. a while now. Please give me some advice I need it. Should I tell my cousin's girlfriend that her boyfriend was cheating on her with 3 different girls when they first got together and to this day he shows no regrets or commitment towards her. And should I tell my cousin the things his mom has said about his girlfriend?.
2024.05.07 15:55 numblef Should I leave my relationship?
Less than a year ago, I met my SO, who has two kids (almost teenage age).
I haven’t met his kids yet, he just told them about me two weeks ago. Him and ex wife have 50/50 custody and do a bird nesting arrangement - one house for the kids (parents move into the house when it’s their week), and one apartment for when they’re not with his kids.
In our country, people can’t get divorced until they’re separated for 2 years. They can file for divorce end of this year.
Recently, there’s been an issue with his bird nesting house and they all had to move. This became the catalyst of a lot of change:
1) through the way he’s balancing issues with his ex, I feel like I’m a chess piece. His ex obviously hates my existence, but is using it against him. She said things like “your new girlfriend is controlling your behaviour, I don’t trust her”. I was not allowed in their kids house (including the new one they moved to, even though his kids weren’t there). But after an argument with his ex, he suddenly invited me to be there during his work from home day
2) his ex is threatening full custody. I’ve suggested he should consult a lawyer to protect his own interests, and tried to plan our relationship for his own interests. He doesn’t seem to acknowledge what I need to give up in this relationship and takes it for granted (he even refuses to answer questions about his ex).
There are so many more examples. He is absolutely a wonderful person - though he lacks in the emotional support department. I often think he tries to justify for or protects his ex (“to keep the peace” - at the expense of our relationship). Actions mean way more than words to me.
I’m 25. Is this relationship even worth it? Should I end it now, take a break until his official divorce in September, or continue? (I do love him).
Advise appreciated. I tried to keep this vague for his privacy, but I hope this is enough information. Thank you!
submitted by numblef to stepparents [link] [comments]
I haven’t met his kids yet, he just told them about me two weeks ago. Him and ex wife have 50/50 custody and do a bird nesting arrangement - one house for the kids (parents move into the house when it’s their week), and one apartment for when they’re not with his kids.
In our country, people can’t get divorced until they’re separated for 2 years. They can file for divorce end of this year.
Recently, there’s been an issue with his bird nesting house and they all had to move. This became the catalyst of a lot of change:
1) through the way he’s balancing issues with his ex, I feel like I’m a chess piece. His ex obviously hates my existence, but is using it against him. She said things like “your new girlfriend is controlling your behaviour, I don’t trust her”. I was not allowed in their kids house (including the new one they moved to, even though his kids weren’t there). But after an argument with his ex, he suddenly invited me to be there during his work from home day
2) his ex is threatening full custody. I’ve suggested he should consult a lawyer to protect his own interests, and tried to plan our relationship for his own interests. He doesn’t seem to acknowledge what I need to give up in this relationship and takes it for granted (he even refuses to answer questions about his ex).
There are so many more examples. He is absolutely a wonderful person - though he lacks in the emotional support department. I often think he tries to justify for or protects his ex (“to keep the peace” - at the expense of our relationship). Actions mean way more than words to me.
I’m 25. Is this relationship even worth it? Should I end it now, take a break until his official divorce in September, or continue? (I do love him).
Advise appreciated. I tried to keep this vague for his privacy, but I hope this is enough information. Thank you!
2024.05.07 15:45 03crazy1 Early pojects lessoned learned
 | So… when i divorced many moons ago, moved from a large house to a 1984 trailer, things that needed to be taken care of asap. Sunk in floors, bad outlets, shitty walls, bad plumbing(the grey shit), and bad lighting, and space, and ignoring it the best i could for as long as i could(lol). Then i met my wonderful, patient fiancée to wich made me want to better this hovel to so she could be happy here. The other side of that, ow im getting pretty good at it, im afraid when she watches HGTV(lol). So, ill start with one of the first thing i did, fix the floors. This trailer( which i paid 10,000 for) still had the original linoleum and carpet(yea…nasty. but being old and a Marine i dealt with it). So, i tore up all the flooring and sub flooring, rebraced between the joists. I think i braced every 12 inches because i was gonna use a thinner subfloor board, not that chip board shit that would swell and warp if it got wet. Then, for the underlay just used luan. The i bought traffic master grip strip floor( wasted my money). Ok, this stuff seemed great at first, not expensive, easy to put down, easy to cut, looked great when done. i was very happy with it. Also, dont forget the moisture barrier( more like plastic film that retains water over time). Now, this is just my experience as a novice( a real novice). It seemed like it was perfect, now the problem is had later was that you had better make sure the subfloor is perfectly clear of any debris, you do not want one piece of anything underneath the grip strip because it will show as a bump and then cracks will show around it as you walk over it over time. Another, in the fine print, i think it said that the floor temp cant get below 65 or less. This causes the grip strip not to be flexible and will be come brittle and crack. Yes, my trailer has heating, anyone familiar with these old trailers know that the heating duct runs down the center of the trailer with a few vents in the floor. So, this intern, in the winter times your floor will be nice and toasty, this also keeps the plumbing from freezing as the pipes run right next to the duct. Now, my trailer had the original furnace ce(oil) that sounded like a saturn V rocket getting ready to go out of the atmosphere, i stopped using it because it was expensive to fill the oil tank, so i just used a couple of space heaters and 2 window a/c units that was cheaper to run and does a great job at heating and cooling. So, storage and space always an issue, always trying to free up space, make space, and find places to put things, so one day i decided to rip out the furnace and turn it in to a pantry and thats what i did. So with the furnace out, all the grip strip started to crack and break and all the work i put in pointless. But, the pantry looks great(lol). So, a year later i looking to redo the floor, and Youtube showed me the way and i went nuts with it and honed my skills. Hardwood flooring and not spend a shit ton of money. Here is pictures of when i did the gripstrip. submitted by 03crazy1 to Tralerdiy [link] [comments] |
2024.05.07 15:45 Icafeko0411 Lừng lấy năm châu, chấn động địa cầu
Năm ấy tại giải tennis Pháp mở rộng, để trị ân cây vợt huyền thoại Noah giải tổ chức trận đấu đôi giữa Federer - Noah vs Nadal - người hâm mộ may mắn. Người may mắn ngẫu nhiên đó là tên VC. Trận đấu diễn ra cũng khá hấp dẫn, do Noah đã có tuổi và tên nghiệp dư VC trình độ kém nên chủ yếu những pha ra đòn chủ yếu đến từ Nadal và Federer. Thỉnh thoảng họ cũng mớm cho VC vụt vài trái cho tăng tính giải trí. Chung cuộc cặp Nadal - VC dành chiến thắng và được trao kỷ niệm chương cho trận giao hữu...
Cùng năm tại giải Mỹ mở rộng, do may mắn có kỷ niệm chương nên VC được một đôi vé mời danh dự tới xem. Hắn rủ thêm em trai là CH. Sau trận chung kết sôi động giữa Federer và Nadal diễn ra với chức vô địch thuộc về Federer. Với chiến thắng này Federer chính thức thành số 1 thế giới. Để kỷ niệm mốc này Federer lại xin ban tổ chức giải thiết kế thêm một trận đôi tri ân người hâm mộ, lần này may mắn lại rơi vào hai anh em VC - CH. Trận đấu diễn ra với cặp Nadal - VC và Federer - CH. Như trận tri ân lần trước, những pha bóng chủ yếu diễn ra tay đôi giữa hai cây vợt hàng đầu, thi thoảng họ mớm cho anh em VC CH vài trái để làm vui nhộn trận đấu, nhờ vậy VC có vài pha ghi điểm ... Kết quả cuối cùng Nadal - VC lại thắng, trận đấu kết thúc "êm đẹp và được sắp xếp" như mong đợi của Federer và Nadal. Kỷ niệm chương lại được trao cho VC
Sau chuyến đi VC trở lại quê nhà gáy với mọi người rằng gã có 2 chiến thắng "Lừng lấy năm châu, chấn động địa cầu" trước cây vợt số 1 thế giới là Federer, bằng chính thực lực của mình, hắn gọi đó là "chiến thắng hai cây vợt tầm nhất thế giới là huyền Noah và nhà vô địch Federer". Hắn làm hẳn tấm biển treo giữa nhà để khoe thành tích này.
Từ đó về sau năm nào hắn cũng tổ chức kỷ niệm chiến thắng này, bà hoa về khả năng thiên bẩm tennis của mình. Mỗi lần cứ ai nói hắn là kẻ bất tài về : kiếm tiền, trồng lúa, hoặc thấp kém giáo dục, đạo đức hắn đều mang một câu ra trả lời: "Mày có biết bố mày từng chiến thắng cây vợt số 1 thế giới không?"
Còn với thằng em CH dù mồm hắn bô bô anh em khúc ruột, đói rách có nhau... Nhưng cứ gặp nhau hắn lại lôi chuyện trận đấu tennis ra nói.
submitted by Icafeko0411 to TroChuyenLinhTinh [link] [comments]
Cùng năm tại giải Mỹ mở rộng, do may mắn có kỷ niệm chương nên VC được một đôi vé mời danh dự tới xem. Hắn rủ thêm em trai là CH. Sau trận chung kết sôi động giữa Federer và Nadal diễn ra với chức vô địch thuộc về Federer. Với chiến thắng này Federer chính thức thành số 1 thế giới. Để kỷ niệm mốc này Federer lại xin ban tổ chức giải thiết kế thêm một trận đôi tri ân người hâm mộ, lần này may mắn lại rơi vào hai anh em VC - CH. Trận đấu diễn ra với cặp Nadal - VC và Federer - CH. Như trận tri ân lần trước, những pha bóng chủ yếu diễn ra tay đôi giữa hai cây vợt hàng đầu, thi thoảng họ mớm cho anh em VC CH vài trái để làm vui nhộn trận đấu, nhờ vậy VC có vài pha ghi điểm ... Kết quả cuối cùng Nadal - VC lại thắng, trận đấu kết thúc "êm đẹp và được sắp xếp" như mong đợi của Federer và Nadal. Kỷ niệm chương lại được trao cho VC
Sau chuyến đi VC trở lại quê nhà gáy với mọi người rằng gã có 2 chiến thắng "Lừng lấy năm châu, chấn động địa cầu" trước cây vợt số 1 thế giới là Federer, bằng chính thực lực của mình, hắn gọi đó là "chiến thắng hai cây vợt tầm nhất thế giới là huyền Noah và nhà vô địch Federer". Hắn làm hẳn tấm biển treo giữa nhà để khoe thành tích này.
Từ đó về sau năm nào hắn cũng tổ chức kỷ niệm chiến thắng này, bà hoa về khả năng thiên bẩm tennis của mình. Mỗi lần cứ ai nói hắn là kẻ bất tài về : kiếm tiền, trồng lúa, hoặc thấp kém giáo dục, đạo đức hắn đều mang một câu ra trả lời: "Mày có biết bố mày từng chiến thắng cây vợt số 1 thế giới không?"
Còn với thằng em CH dù mồm hắn bô bô anh em khúc ruột, đói rách có nhau... Nhưng cứ gặp nhau hắn lại lôi chuyện trận đấu tennis ra nói.
2024.05.07 15:41 Junior_Cost_6054 I feel like giving up on life
Being in an abusive relationship with someone who betrayed me with young women, as young as 18, and who looked up girls as young as 16, has made me so extremely sensitive to this topic.
I feel like all men are the same deep down and it makes me so sick
My own father is a pastor and married a woman who was 21 when he was in his 40's. She was 18 when they met. I was 13. They divorced. But he continues to stay single because the women his age thst are interested in him aren't attractive to him. He's had many women interested, but he always says they're not his type. It makes me so sick he flirts with younger women all the time. It seems innocent because he's old and bald and he's always sweet. He never says anything perverted, but he's very clearly red in the face around them and asking them questions about themselves and it's so fucking annoying. He even did this to my nurses when I was in the hospital once. He always loved my friends too and I just have this feeling that he is a predator that doesn't act on things. It's messed me up so bad. I still talk to him and can't find the courage to tell him how I really feel becayse he always is supportive and shows me unconditional love. He's never been weird to me, but it just is so weird that he acts like that.
When I was 13 I lost my virginity to a 17 year old boy who was selling drugs. For some reason I always gravitated toward the bad kids, maybe because my parents were so strict. I was raised southern Baptist and a preachers kid. We weren't even allowed to wear pants until i was 12 and my parents divorced. Then everything changed and all of a sudden those rules we were made to follow didn't exist. So I went kinda wild. I was moved a lot and never felt I could find good friends. So I ended up with this guy who gave me Xanax and had sex with me. He told everyone I wasn't a virgin and broke up with me the next day. He had told me he loved me the night before when we had sex. It was why I decided to have sex with him.
When I was 14 my best friends brother crawled into bed with me while she was asleep. He was 18. He showed me all this attention and affection and I agreed to have sex with him. He made me feel mature and pretty and wanted. I had a secret relationship with him for months until his parents found out. Then they continued to let us date until my dad found out and he then moved us to another state to be with his new gf.
When I was 15 I met a 20 year old man who invited me over and then had sex with me. I ended up in a secret relationship with him and got pregnant when i was 17. I was just looking for security, someone to get me out of my dad's house where I felt neglected. He was only focused on his new wife and her child. My mother was insane and I didn't wsnt to live with her. No one ever told me how I should respect myself or what I was worth. No one ever talked to me about sex and what was ok and not. I just thought I was mature and it was flattering that an older guy was attracted to me. Also, no one else in our group of friends had any issues with it. It was accepted so I had no clue I was being groomed.
I ended up divorcing after 5 years of being married. My son was 5 when we left. I was finishing up nursing school.
I went directly into another relationship with a man I had a one night stand with. Idk why I cling to people like that. He was not my type. He wasn't even that nice. He was a drunk. But he wasn't controlling like my ex husband had been and I wanted to have fun. I had never got to go out and do things so I thought it's what I wanted. He ended up leaving me places all the time when we'd go out. We'd drink until 3 in the morning. Always went to concerts. I was always lost and drunk and that went on for 3 years. He cheated on me within the first month, was actually talking to women on the internet the whole time. He flirted with my best friend. He was also very verbally abusive the whole time. He would get so drunk. He'd stay up watching porn then come to bed and have sex with me when I was drunk. Idk why I put myself thru thst. Idk what made me want him or think he's all I deserved.
After ending that relationship I stayed single for 2 years then met my most recent ex. I thought he was different. I thought he was the one. Then after a year of being together and thinking everything was perfect, I found out he had been sleeping with prostitutes the whole time
Why is this my life? Why did God even allow me to have children with these men who would abuse me and use me? Why did I allow them to? Why didn't I see this before? Why did I feel I wasn't worth more?
My mother has always been so negative and critical. I think she's a narcissist although a therapist once told her she had bpd. It would make sense for her to have bpd since she did have a lot of abandonment, but her behavior is so narcissistic. I'm not sure. I just know she has insulted me my whole life and acted like everyone's crazy when they finally lose their shit on her. She's sabotaged me and been super controlling. She plays the victim like everyone has hurt her, but she's been so fucking awful to all of her children at some point. There's always one of us she favors until they call her out and then she cuts thst one down to another one of us. So maybe she's why I didn't value myself. Idk
I'm just so mad at the world. At my parents. At men. I just want out of this world, but I cant run away because I have these two beautiful boys who are counting on me.
My boys are also very very challenging. My oldest is 16 now and he's on the spectrum and has adhd. It's been a struggle his whole life. Very argumentative and disrespectful, but says he can't hear tone and he doesn't mean to be. He's struggled in school for years and still does. He's so extremely smart, but forgets to turn work in, falls asleep in class, makes excuses for not getting work done, doesn't pay attention to instructions. My youngest is 6 and has cerebral palsy from a brain injury at birth. He has a seizure disorder and extreme behavior issues. He is mildly physically impaired, but mentally, he is just a mess. His anxiety and stress is constant. It makes me feel I am constantly on edge. It's exhausting. His outbursts have landed him in three different schools within 1 year and now he's in a special needs secondary school. I'm trying so hard to get him help, but I feel like im crumbling. A person can only take so much
I guess I'm just venting and mad that my life can't just be easier. Like I didn't deserve this. It's hard to believe there's a God. You could say ive been running from what he wants for me, but I feel like it's not my fault this happened to me. Like yes I made bad decisions, but i was just a kid. Why do I have to pay for having shitty parents? Why doesn't God send me someone who will care for me and love me?
I'm so lonely and sad and heartbroken. I feel so unlovable. And now I'm just this angry woman that no man will ever want. Are there even men out there that don't watch porn or fantasize about other women?? Do decent and nonabusive men exist? Because I've never met any
submitted by Junior_Cost_6054 to CPTSD [link] [comments]
I feel like all men are the same deep down and it makes me so sick
My own father is a pastor and married a woman who was 21 when he was in his 40's. She was 18 when they met. I was 13. They divorced. But he continues to stay single because the women his age thst are interested in him aren't attractive to him. He's had many women interested, but he always says they're not his type. It makes me so sick he flirts with younger women all the time. It seems innocent because he's old and bald and he's always sweet. He never says anything perverted, but he's very clearly red in the face around them and asking them questions about themselves and it's so fucking annoying. He even did this to my nurses when I was in the hospital once. He always loved my friends too and I just have this feeling that he is a predator that doesn't act on things. It's messed me up so bad. I still talk to him and can't find the courage to tell him how I really feel becayse he always is supportive and shows me unconditional love. He's never been weird to me, but it just is so weird that he acts like that.
When I was 13 I lost my virginity to a 17 year old boy who was selling drugs. For some reason I always gravitated toward the bad kids, maybe because my parents were so strict. I was raised southern Baptist and a preachers kid. We weren't even allowed to wear pants until i was 12 and my parents divorced. Then everything changed and all of a sudden those rules we were made to follow didn't exist. So I went kinda wild. I was moved a lot and never felt I could find good friends. So I ended up with this guy who gave me Xanax and had sex with me. He told everyone I wasn't a virgin and broke up with me the next day. He had told me he loved me the night before when we had sex. It was why I decided to have sex with him.
When I was 14 my best friends brother crawled into bed with me while she was asleep. He was 18. He showed me all this attention and affection and I agreed to have sex with him. He made me feel mature and pretty and wanted. I had a secret relationship with him for months until his parents found out. Then they continued to let us date until my dad found out and he then moved us to another state to be with his new gf.
When I was 15 I met a 20 year old man who invited me over and then had sex with me. I ended up in a secret relationship with him and got pregnant when i was 17. I was just looking for security, someone to get me out of my dad's house where I felt neglected. He was only focused on his new wife and her child. My mother was insane and I didn't wsnt to live with her. No one ever told me how I should respect myself or what I was worth. No one ever talked to me about sex and what was ok and not. I just thought I was mature and it was flattering that an older guy was attracted to me. Also, no one else in our group of friends had any issues with it. It was accepted so I had no clue I was being groomed.
I ended up divorcing after 5 years of being married. My son was 5 when we left. I was finishing up nursing school.
I went directly into another relationship with a man I had a one night stand with. Idk why I cling to people like that. He was not my type. He wasn't even that nice. He was a drunk. But he wasn't controlling like my ex husband had been and I wanted to have fun. I had never got to go out and do things so I thought it's what I wanted. He ended up leaving me places all the time when we'd go out. We'd drink until 3 in the morning. Always went to concerts. I was always lost and drunk and that went on for 3 years. He cheated on me within the first month, was actually talking to women on the internet the whole time. He flirted with my best friend. He was also very verbally abusive the whole time. He would get so drunk. He'd stay up watching porn then come to bed and have sex with me when I was drunk. Idk why I put myself thru thst. Idk what made me want him or think he's all I deserved.
After ending that relationship I stayed single for 2 years then met my most recent ex. I thought he was different. I thought he was the one. Then after a year of being together and thinking everything was perfect, I found out he had been sleeping with prostitutes the whole time
Why is this my life? Why did God even allow me to have children with these men who would abuse me and use me? Why did I allow them to? Why didn't I see this before? Why did I feel I wasn't worth more?
My mother has always been so negative and critical. I think she's a narcissist although a therapist once told her she had bpd. It would make sense for her to have bpd since she did have a lot of abandonment, but her behavior is so narcissistic. I'm not sure. I just know she has insulted me my whole life and acted like everyone's crazy when they finally lose their shit on her. She's sabotaged me and been super controlling. She plays the victim like everyone has hurt her, but she's been so fucking awful to all of her children at some point. There's always one of us she favors until they call her out and then she cuts thst one down to another one of us. So maybe she's why I didn't value myself. Idk
I'm just so mad at the world. At my parents. At men. I just want out of this world, but I cant run away because I have these two beautiful boys who are counting on me.
My boys are also very very challenging. My oldest is 16 now and he's on the spectrum and has adhd. It's been a struggle his whole life. Very argumentative and disrespectful, but says he can't hear tone and he doesn't mean to be. He's struggled in school for years and still does. He's so extremely smart, but forgets to turn work in, falls asleep in class, makes excuses for not getting work done, doesn't pay attention to instructions. My youngest is 6 and has cerebral palsy from a brain injury at birth. He has a seizure disorder and extreme behavior issues. He is mildly physically impaired, but mentally, he is just a mess. His anxiety and stress is constant. It makes me feel I am constantly on edge. It's exhausting. His outbursts have landed him in three different schools within 1 year and now he's in a special needs secondary school. I'm trying so hard to get him help, but I feel like im crumbling. A person can only take so much
I guess I'm just venting and mad that my life can't just be easier. Like I didn't deserve this. It's hard to believe there's a God. You could say ive been running from what he wants for me, but I feel like it's not my fault this happened to me. Like yes I made bad decisions, but i was just a kid. Why do I have to pay for having shitty parents? Why doesn't God send me someone who will care for me and love me?
I'm so lonely and sad and heartbroken. I feel so unlovable. And now I'm just this angry woman that no man will ever want. Are there even men out there that don't watch porn or fantasize about other women?? Do decent and nonabusive men exist? Because I've never met any
2024.05.07 15:40 Warheadd Zestial is unbearable to watch
I’m finally making my way through the show and I love 90% of it. But oh my god it’s impossible to make it through the Zestial scenes because of how badly he’s written. I want to care about the Overlords storyline but he’s making it so difficult.
He’s like if they actually tried to make a French character talk like “Hallo le Alastor, it is le nice day le today”, except this one isn’t hilarious. It’s crazy that not one person on the writing team went “hmm none of these lines sound right, maybe we should brush up on old-timey English”. It sounds like it was written by an eight-year old who’s never read a book. The percentage of lines without a grammatical mistake is maybe 10%. They couldn’t even get the usage of thou vs thee vs thy right, which is basically sheer incompetence at that point. I don’t want to be mean, the rest of the show is made really well, but I just find it astounding how bad this one aspect of the show is.
It’s not like I’m an English professor either, my experience with old timey English comes from mandatory Shakespeare in high school and some Tolkien books, that’s pretty much it. I’m thinking that his dialogue has to sound shitty for the rest of the audience too but I haven’t seen much discussion of it. I’m curious to know how you all are able to bear it.
submitted by Warheadd to HazbinHotel [link] [comments]
He’s like if they actually tried to make a French character talk like “Hallo le Alastor, it is le nice day le today”, except this one isn’t hilarious. It’s crazy that not one person on the writing team went “hmm none of these lines sound right, maybe we should brush up on old-timey English”. It sounds like it was written by an eight-year old who’s never read a book. The percentage of lines without a grammatical mistake is maybe 10%. They couldn’t even get the usage of thou vs thee vs thy right, which is basically sheer incompetence at that point. I don’t want to be mean, the rest of the show is made really well, but I just find it astounding how bad this one aspect of the show is.
It’s not like I’m an English professor either, my experience with old timey English comes from mandatory Shakespeare in high school and some Tolkien books, that’s pretty much it. I’m thinking that his dialogue has to sound shitty for the rest of the audience too but I haven’t seen much discussion of it. I’m curious to know how you all are able to bear it.
2024.05.07 15:40 Junior_Cost_6054 I feel like im giving up on life
Being in an abusive relationship with someone who betrayed me with young women, as young as 18, and who looked up girls as young as 16, has made me so extremely sensitive to this topic.
I feel like all men are the same deep down and it makes me so sick
My own father is a pastor and married a woman who was 21 when he was in his 40's. She was 18 when they met. I was 13. They divorced. But he continues to stay single because the women his age thst are interested in him aren't attractive to him. He's had many women interested, but he always says they're not his type. It makes me so sick he flirts with younger women all the time. It seems innocent because he's old and bald and he's always sweet. He never says anything perverted, but he's very clearly red in the face around them and asking them questions about themselves and it's so fucking annoying. He even did this to my nurses when I was in the hospital once. He always loved my friends too and I just have this feeling that he is a predator that doesn't act on things. It's messed me up so bad. I still talk to him and can't find the courage to tell him how I really feel becayse he always is supportive and shows me unconditional love. He's never been weird to me, but it just is so weird that he acts like that.
When I was 13 I lost my virginity to a 17 year old boy who was selling drugs. For some reason I always gravitated toward the bad kids, maybe because my parents were so strict. I was raised southern Baptist and a preachers kid. We weren't even allowed to wear pants until i was 12 and my parents divorced. Then everything changed and all of a sudden those rules we were made to follow didn't exist. So I went kinda wild. I was moved a lot and never felt I could find good friends. So I ended up with this guy who gave me Xanax and had sex with me. He told everyone I wasn't a virgin and broke up with me the next day. He had told me he loved me the night before when we had sex. It was why I decided to have sex with him.
When I was 14 my best friends brother crawled into bed with me while she was asleep. He was 18. He showed me all this attention and affection and I agreed to have sex with him. He made me feel mature and pretty and wanted. I had a secret relationship with him for months until his parents found out. Then they continued to let us date until my dad found out and he then moved us to another state to be with his new gf.
When I was 15 I met a 20 year old man who invited me over and then had sex with me. I ended up in a secret relationship with him and got pregnant when i was 17. I was just looking for security, someone to get me out of my dad's house where I felt neglected. He was only focused on his new wife and her child. My mother was insane and I didn't wsnt to live with her. No one ever told me how I should respect myself or what I was worth. No one ever talked to me about sex and what was ok and not. I just thought I was mature and it was flattering that an older guy was attracted to me. Also, no one else in our group of friends had any issues with it. It was accepted so I had no clue I was being groomed.
I ended up divorcing after 5 years of being married. My son was 5 when we left. I was finishing up nursing school.
I went directly into another relationship with a man I had a one night stand with. Idk why I cling to people like that. He was not my type. He wasn't even that nice. He was a drunk. But he wasn't controlling like my ex husband had been and I wanted to have fun. I had never got to go out and do things so I thought it's what I wanted. He ended up leaving me places all the time when we'd go out. We'd drink until 3 in the morning. Always went to concerts. I was always lost and drunk and that went on for 3 years. He cheated on me within the first month, was actually talking to women on the internet the whole time. He flirted with my best friend. He was also very verbally abusive the whole time. He would get so drunk. He'd stay up watching porn then come to bed and have sex with me when I was drunk. Idk why I put myself thru thst. Idk what made me want him or think he's all I deserved.
After ending that relationship I stayed single for 2 years then met my most recent ex. I thought he was different. I thought he was the one. Then after a year of being together and thinking everything was perfect, I found out he had been sleeping with prostitutes the whole time
Why is this my life? Why did God even allow me to have children with these men who would abuse me and use me? Why did I allow them to? Why didn't I see this before? Why did I feel I wasn't worth more?
My mother has always been so negative and critical. I think she's a narcissist although a therapist once told her she had bpd. It would make sense for her to have bpd since she did have a lot of abandonment, but her behavior is so narcissistic. I'm not sure. I just know she has insulted me my whole life and acted like everyone's crazy when they finally lose their shit on her. She's sabotaged me and been super controlling. She plays the victim like everyone has hurt her, but she's been so fucking awful to all of her children at some point. There's always one of us she favors until they call her out and then she cuts thst one down to another one of us. So maybe she's why I didn't value myself. Idk
I'm just so mad at the world. At my parents. At men. I just want out of this world, but I cant run away because I have these two beautiful boys who are counting on me.
My boys are also very very challenging. My oldest is 16 now and he's on the spectrum and has adhd. It's been a struggle his whole life. Very argumentative and disrespectful, but says he can't hear tone and he doesn't mean to be. He's struggled in school for years and still does. He's so extremely smart, but forgets to turn work in, falls asleep in class, makes excuses for not getting work done, doesn't pay attention to instructions. My youngest is 6 and has cerebral palsy from a brain injury at birth. He has a seizure disorder and extreme behavior issues. He is mildly physically impaired, but mentally, he is just a mess. His anxiety and stress is constant. It makes me feel I am constantly on edge. It's exhausting. His outbursts have landed him in three different schools within 1 year and now he's in a special needs secondary school. I'm trying so hard to get him help, but I feel like im crumbling. A person can only take so much
I guess I'm just venting and mad that my life can't just be easier. Like I didn't deserve this. It's hard to believe there's a God. You could say ive been running from what he wants for me, but I feel like it's not my fault this happened to me. Like yes I made bad decisions, but i was just a kid. Why do I have to pay for having shitty parents? Why doesn't God send me someone who will care for me and love me?
I'm so lonely and sad and heartbroken. I feel so unlovable. And now I'm just this angry woman that no man will ever want. Are there even men out there that don't watch porn or fantasize about other women?? Do decent and nonabusive men exist? Because I've never met any
submitted by Junior_Cost_6054 to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]
I feel like all men are the same deep down and it makes me so sick
My own father is a pastor and married a woman who was 21 when he was in his 40's. She was 18 when they met. I was 13. They divorced. But he continues to stay single because the women his age thst are interested in him aren't attractive to him. He's had many women interested, but he always says they're not his type. It makes me so sick he flirts with younger women all the time. It seems innocent because he's old and bald and he's always sweet. He never says anything perverted, but he's very clearly red in the face around them and asking them questions about themselves and it's so fucking annoying. He even did this to my nurses when I was in the hospital once. He always loved my friends too and I just have this feeling that he is a predator that doesn't act on things. It's messed me up so bad. I still talk to him and can't find the courage to tell him how I really feel becayse he always is supportive and shows me unconditional love. He's never been weird to me, but it just is so weird that he acts like that.
When I was 13 I lost my virginity to a 17 year old boy who was selling drugs. For some reason I always gravitated toward the bad kids, maybe because my parents were so strict. I was raised southern Baptist and a preachers kid. We weren't even allowed to wear pants until i was 12 and my parents divorced. Then everything changed and all of a sudden those rules we were made to follow didn't exist. So I went kinda wild. I was moved a lot and never felt I could find good friends. So I ended up with this guy who gave me Xanax and had sex with me. He told everyone I wasn't a virgin and broke up with me the next day. He had told me he loved me the night before when we had sex. It was why I decided to have sex with him.
When I was 14 my best friends brother crawled into bed with me while she was asleep. He was 18. He showed me all this attention and affection and I agreed to have sex with him. He made me feel mature and pretty and wanted. I had a secret relationship with him for months until his parents found out. Then they continued to let us date until my dad found out and he then moved us to another state to be with his new gf.
When I was 15 I met a 20 year old man who invited me over and then had sex with me. I ended up in a secret relationship with him and got pregnant when i was 17. I was just looking for security, someone to get me out of my dad's house where I felt neglected. He was only focused on his new wife and her child. My mother was insane and I didn't wsnt to live with her. No one ever told me how I should respect myself or what I was worth. No one ever talked to me about sex and what was ok and not. I just thought I was mature and it was flattering that an older guy was attracted to me. Also, no one else in our group of friends had any issues with it. It was accepted so I had no clue I was being groomed.
I ended up divorcing after 5 years of being married. My son was 5 when we left. I was finishing up nursing school.
I went directly into another relationship with a man I had a one night stand with. Idk why I cling to people like that. He was not my type. He wasn't even that nice. He was a drunk. But he wasn't controlling like my ex husband had been and I wanted to have fun. I had never got to go out and do things so I thought it's what I wanted. He ended up leaving me places all the time when we'd go out. We'd drink until 3 in the morning. Always went to concerts. I was always lost and drunk and that went on for 3 years. He cheated on me within the first month, was actually talking to women on the internet the whole time. He flirted with my best friend. He was also very verbally abusive the whole time. He would get so drunk. He'd stay up watching porn then come to bed and have sex with me when I was drunk. Idk why I put myself thru thst. Idk what made me want him or think he's all I deserved.
After ending that relationship I stayed single for 2 years then met my most recent ex. I thought he was different. I thought he was the one. Then after a year of being together and thinking everything was perfect, I found out he had been sleeping with prostitutes the whole time
Why is this my life? Why did God even allow me to have children with these men who would abuse me and use me? Why did I allow them to? Why didn't I see this before? Why did I feel I wasn't worth more?
My mother has always been so negative and critical. I think she's a narcissist although a therapist once told her she had bpd. It would make sense for her to have bpd since she did have a lot of abandonment, but her behavior is so narcissistic. I'm not sure. I just know she has insulted me my whole life and acted like everyone's crazy when they finally lose their shit on her. She's sabotaged me and been super controlling. She plays the victim like everyone has hurt her, but she's been so fucking awful to all of her children at some point. There's always one of us she favors until they call her out and then she cuts thst one down to another one of us. So maybe she's why I didn't value myself. Idk
I'm just so mad at the world. At my parents. At men. I just want out of this world, but I cant run away because I have these two beautiful boys who are counting on me.
My boys are also very very challenging. My oldest is 16 now and he's on the spectrum and has adhd. It's been a struggle his whole life. Very argumentative and disrespectful, but says he can't hear tone and he doesn't mean to be. He's struggled in school for years and still does. He's so extremely smart, but forgets to turn work in, falls asleep in class, makes excuses for not getting work done, doesn't pay attention to instructions. My youngest is 6 and has cerebral palsy from a brain injury at birth. He has a seizure disorder and extreme behavior issues. He is mildly physically impaired, but mentally, he is just a mess. His anxiety and stress is constant. It makes me feel I am constantly on edge. It's exhausting. His outbursts have landed him in three different schools within 1 year and now he's in a special needs secondary school. I'm trying so hard to get him help, but I feel like im crumbling. A person can only take so much
I guess I'm just venting and mad that my life can't just be easier. Like I didn't deserve this. It's hard to believe there's a God. You could say ive been running from what he wants for me, but I feel like it's not my fault this happened to me. Like yes I made bad decisions, but i was just a kid. Why do I have to pay for having shitty parents? Why doesn't God send me someone who will care for me and love me?
I'm so lonely and sad and heartbroken. I feel so unlovable. And now I'm just this angry woman that no man will ever want. Are there even men out there that don't watch porn or fantasize about other women?? Do decent and nonabusive men exist? Because I've never met any
2024.05.07 15:28 cleanmahlungs Friend did me dirty, then went ghost for 5 months before texting my FIANCE to ask if they could go to the gym.
I (30, F) have an ex-friend (33, M, will call him Tom) who I have known for about 7 years. We both worked with my ex girlfriend, and when I left the job, he ceased speaking to me or hanging out with me entirely for 3 years. Out of nowhere he reached out, said he wanted to apologize, so I let him. He came over to my home with pizza and said he had been depressed and THAT was the only reason he went ghost for YEARS. I didn't buy it but let it slide.
Fast forward 1 year later and I brought him into our friend group. One woman, Stacy (34, F) we will call her, is getting a divorce. She's a bit insufferable, she lies a lot about her life and circumstances (she lied about being LGBTQ and later admitted it)...but again, our meetups were surface-level adult get togethers. Stacy's shtick is she loves to lead her coworkers on, then dump them and say she is not interested in anything more than friends at the 3 month mark. I again, ignored it, not my business.
Until Stacy texts me one day saying she is dumping her current guy to flirt with Tom. Tom is desperate, has not had a girlfriend in about a decade, and if a woman BREATHES his way he will jump at the chance. I told Stacy that since she is still married and has no intent to be with him, to think about the repercussions and leave him and the friend group in peace. She texts me a "you are so right" and then...proceeds to TEXT TOM, my loooong time friend I brought into the friend group, "so cleanmahlungs said you have a crush on me 😍" and proceeds to fabricate a web of lies.
Tom texts me some screenshots. I call out the web of lies, and Stacy goes NUCLEAR. Damage control screaming and panicking that I've made the entire thing up. Instead of fighting, I told them both to stop texting me DAILY for advice and to leave me out of their mess. I am 30 and don't want the drama.
Stacy blocks us ALL in the friend group except Tom. Tom goes ghost from our lives, we all keep hanging out together, because fuck them.
Five months goes by.
Last night, my fiance gets a text saying "sorry, i was so busy, i'm down for some gym days!"
No texts to me, the "friend" of now going on 8 years. No accountability for the role he began to play and for her and him gossiping about me (he began to send screenshots then stopped when it began to implicate him), for imploding the friend group, for lying. I am a singer and had a live show during the ghosting period, he DID text me a few months ago a "saw you had a show! sorry so busy" but next day went to a big KPOP concert, then a Wutang one that same week lmao!
He is trying to gaslight me as the "uppity femme girl" yet again (he did this when my ex we both knew would cheat on me) and is trying to bait me so bad.
What do I do? Do I confront him via text? My fiance is just going to play it very calm and chill and let it fizzle. I feel there is no point to confronting someone who will never take responsibility or accountability, so I am leaning more towards silence since he is a brick wall anyway.
There are A LOT more filler details, but I tried the best I could lol! He still talks to Stacy, and likely my abusive ex girlfriend. I think having a friend who accumulates acquaintances of people who did you wrong is....detrimental, but maybe I'm overthinking.
submitted by cleanmahlungs to FriendshipAdvice [link] [comments]
Fast forward 1 year later and I brought him into our friend group. One woman, Stacy (34, F) we will call her, is getting a divorce. She's a bit insufferable, she lies a lot about her life and circumstances (she lied about being LGBTQ and later admitted it)...but again, our meetups were surface-level adult get togethers. Stacy's shtick is she loves to lead her coworkers on, then dump them and say she is not interested in anything more than friends at the 3 month mark. I again, ignored it, not my business.
Until Stacy texts me one day saying she is dumping her current guy to flirt with Tom. Tom is desperate, has not had a girlfriend in about a decade, and if a woman BREATHES his way he will jump at the chance. I told Stacy that since she is still married and has no intent to be with him, to think about the repercussions and leave him and the friend group in peace. She texts me a "you are so right" and then...proceeds to TEXT TOM, my loooong time friend I brought into the friend group, "so cleanmahlungs said you have a crush on me 😍" and proceeds to fabricate a web of lies.
Tom texts me some screenshots. I call out the web of lies, and Stacy goes NUCLEAR. Damage control screaming and panicking that I've made the entire thing up. Instead of fighting, I told them both to stop texting me DAILY for advice and to leave me out of their mess. I am 30 and don't want the drama.
Stacy blocks us ALL in the friend group except Tom. Tom goes ghost from our lives, we all keep hanging out together, because fuck them.
Five months goes by.
Last night, my fiance gets a text saying "sorry, i was so busy, i'm down for some gym days!"
No texts to me, the "friend" of now going on 8 years. No accountability for the role he began to play and for her and him gossiping about me (he began to send screenshots then stopped when it began to implicate him), for imploding the friend group, for lying. I am a singer and had a live show during the ghosting period, he DID text me a few months ago a "saw you had a show! sorry so busy" but next day went to a big KPOP concert, then a Wutang one that same week lmao!
He is trying to gaslight me as the "uppity femme girl" yet again (he did this when my ex we both knew would cheat on me) and is trying to bait me so bad.
What do I do? Do I confront him via text? My fiance is just going to play it very calm and chill and let it fizzle. I feel there is no point to confronting someone who will never take responsibility or accountability, so I am leaning more towards silence since he is a brick wall anyway.
There are A LOT more filler details, but I tried the best I could lol! He still talks to Stacy, and likely my abusive ex girlfriend. I think having a friend who accumulates acquaintances of people who did you wrong is....detrimental, but maybe I'm overthinking.
2024.05.07 15:28 Comprehensive_Book48 I need help. DD13 year old
Please I need some advice .
I tried my hardest. We ve been divorced 5 years. I twisted myself and my life like a pretzel to accommodate my ex husband, his new wife, his step kids so they my child doesn’t experience so much dissonance between both household. We split and I used to be in the same religion and view on life… I am respectful and accommodating and my motto has always been “ keep my kid out of it “
Except here we are 5 years later, my ex and I are at a cross road… he wants to move out of the US with said child … obviously I refuse… he s convinced our daughter slowly but surely that the move is the best think for her and her future. I let her go with him spend multiple vacations there …I regret it now.
This is a religious and ideological difference I ll never see eye to eye on with her dad. But at this point I need to educate and influence my kid in this area ( religion/ ideology) which I avoided for the longest time so that my kid doesn’t end up in a position of “ choosing “ …
I am stuck as to how to even start talking about it. My kid gets so anxious and agitated when I bring it up. “ mom I don’t want to talk about it “ she gets emotional because status quo means her dad won’t get upset.
Obviously she feels responsible for it all.
How do I approach kid? How do I deal with this difference now? How do I explain to my kid that life is a bit more broad than the religious dogma her dad lives in?
Help . I need a way to move things forward .
Edit to add: my ex is suing for full custody as a way to eventually get child to move or to minimize my interactions since he believes I am not a good mom because I am not religious… because I opposed his move. He s a bully . Confirmed not just by me but many people he interacts with ( school teacher, school director, DD s therapist )
submitted by Comprehensive_Book48 to coparenting [link] [comments]
I tried my hardest. We ve been divorced 5 years. I twisted myself and my life like a pretzel to accommodate my ex husband, his new wife, his step kids so they my child doesn’t experience so much dissonance between both household. We split and I used to be in the same religion and view on life… I am respectful and accommodating and my motto has always been “ keep my kid out of it “
Except here we are 5 years later, my ex and I are at a cross road… he wants to move out of the US with said child … obviously I refuse… he s convinced our daughter slowly but surely that the move is the best think for her and her future. I let her go with him spend multiple vacations there …I regret it now.
This is a religious and ideological difference I ll never see eye to eye on with her dad. But at this point I need to educate and influence my kid in this area ( religion/ ideology) which I avoided for the longest time so that my kid doesn’t end up in a position of “ choosing “ …
I am stuck as to how to even start talking about it. My kid gets so anxious and agitated when I bring it up. “ mom I don’t want to talk about it “ she gets emotional because status quo means her dad won’t get upset.
Obviously she feels responsible for it all.
How do I approach kid? How do I deal with this difference now? How do I explain to my kid that life is a bit more broad than the religious dogma her dad lives in?
Help . I need a way to move things forward .
Edit to add: my ex is suing for full custody as a way to eventually get child to move or to minimize my interactions since he believes I am not a good mom because I am not religious… because I opposed his move. He s a bully . Confirmed not just by me but many people he interacts with ( school teacher, school director, DD s therapist )
2024.05.07 15:27 StreetIncome2719 My neighbor who is separated and filing for divorce has expressed interest in me
Life likes to throw you a curve ball every now and again. My neighbors are headed for divorce, the husband told his wife that he was done and he has moved out and they are at the very early stages of heading for divorce.
In the meantime, I am recently divorced and the neighbors wife has been coming to me to talk about it since I literally just went through the same thing and am dealing with the same situation, my wife was the one to leave, her husband was the one to leave; apparently he already has a new girl he's seeing... So now we have 2 single people who didn't initiate the divorce living across the street from one another... I guess I should of seen this coming...
I feel kind of odd pursuing a relationship outside of just friends, I was cool with the husband, I considered him a friend but we were not best friends, just good neighbors; hung out from time to time with family things, like birthday parties, cookouts, etc.
I don't think it's a good idea to do ANYTHING crazy with her right now, but maybe down the road once everything is said and done? It still bothers me, I didn't plan on this happening, I didn't pursue her, she's pursuing me. Also, I think the husband sensed she kind of liked me even when we were all unhappily married!
I feel like the right thing to do would be to have an honest conversation with him after the divorce and just let him know what's going on. I am dreading having such a conversation... Not that I need his permission, but I feel like I'm doing an injustice if I don't say something. I try to think, what if he dated my ex-wife? I would probably just laugh and say good luck with that! 😆
submitted by StreetIncome2719 to Divorce [link] [comments]
In the meantime, I am recently divorced and the neighbors wife has been coming to me to talk about it since I literally just went through the same thing and am dealing with the same situation, my wife was the one to leave, her husband was the one to leave; apparently he already has a new girl he's seeing... So now we have 2 single people who didn't initiate the divorce living across the street from one another... I guess I should of seen this coming...
I feel kind of odd pursuing a relationship outside of just friends, I was cool with the husband, I considered him a friend but we were not best friends, just good neighbors; hung out from time to time with family things, like birthday parties, cookouts, etc.
I don't think it's a good idea to do ANYTHING crazy with her right now, but maybe down the road once everything is said and done? It still bothers me, I didn't plan on this happening, I didn't pursue her, she's pursuing me. Also, I think the husband sensed she kind of liked me even when we were all unhappily married!
I feel like the right thing to do would be to have an honest conversation with him after the divorce and just let him know what's going on. I am dreading having such a conversation... Not that I need his permission, but I feel like I'm doing an injustice if I don't say something. I try to think, what if he dated my ex-wife? I would probably just laugh and say good luck with that! 😆
2024.05.07 15:22 KattTodd Heartbroken wife.. Need advice??
Long story short… I 30F found out my husband 31M was using my (ex)- stepsisters(she’s only 19) onlyfans pictures as porn. He has met her and knows I was once close with her. He also was using an old coworker’s pictures as well.. He said he never paid them or talked to them. And This girl has actually been in his car with him which was before we were married but still.. He said nothing happened that they just smoked cigarettes and she complained about dating his friend and it was raining outside. He confessed to looking at just regular everyday women’s facebook profiles “just to look” because he thought they were attractive. He continued to lie about things,gaslight me, manipulated me and promised there was nothing else but I kept finding more. I’ve threatened divorce.. But we are going to try marriage counseling because we have 3 little girls and I want to be able to tell them we tried everything before divorcing.. We are both in individual counseling as well. He was told he has a porn addiction.. I’m in shock and don’t know what to think. But i just don’t feel like I can trust him… I’m so hurt it makes me sick to my stomach. Do I trust he will get better?? It’s been 3 months since I found out and he says he’s not struggling or using anything.. His phone has blockers but I just feel like he will find a way to hide it. I’m a stay at home mother with no money or family or friends. I feel so traumatized by this and betrayed!
What’s your opinion on this??? Please be kind ❤️
submitted by KattTodd to Divorce [link] [comments]
What’s your opinion on this??? Please be kind ❤️
2024.05.07 15:16 KattTodd Heartbroken wife.. Need advice??
Long story short… I 30F found out my husband 31M was using my (ex)- stepsisters(she’s only 19) onlyfans pictures as porn. He has met her and knows I was once close with her. He also was using an old coworker’s pictures as well.. He said he never paid them or talked to them. And This girl has actually been in his car with him which was before we were married but still.. He said nothing happened that they just smoked cigarettes and she complained about dating his friend and it was raining outside. He confessed to looking at just regular everyday women’s facebook profiles “just to look” because he thought they were attractive. He continued to lie about things,gaslight me, manipulated me and promised there was nothing else but I kept finding more. I’ve threatened divorce.. But we are going to try marriage counseling because we have 3 little girls and I want to be able to tell them we tried everything before divorcing.. We are both in individual counseling as well. He was told he has a porn addiction.. I’m in shock and don’t know what to think. But i just don’t feel like I can trust him… I’m so hurt it makes me sick to my stomach. Do I trust he will get better?? It’s been 3 months since I found out and he says he’s not struggling or using anything.. His phone has blockers but I just feel like he will find a way to hide it. I’m a stay at home mother with no money or family or friends. I feel so traumatized by this and betrayed!
What’s your opinion on this??? Please be kind ❤️
submitted by KattTodd to Marriage [link] [comments]
What’s your opinion on this??? Please be kind ❤️
2024.05.07 15:13 justdontdoitagain BM encouraging SKs to lie to us, and they do.
SO and BM have a contentious relationship. BM refuses to work full time when there is 50/50 custody so she can take advantage of a “right of first refusal” clause of 7 hours in the divorce agreement, which she wouldn’t budge on and SO finally gave in.(if either parent is away from the children for more than 7 hours, ie a work shift, the non working parent gets the kids no matter whose day it is. they cannot go to a family member or babysitter unless there is a special event) At first she tried all that she could to hold money over SO’s head until we had solid proof her boyfriend was living with her and maintenance was terminated. Now she’s moved on to turning the SKs against us. She tells them that they are not safe with us and that they don’t have to follow our rules and that they should hide things from us. SS10 lies about everything and takes absolutely no responsibility for any of his actions, then gaslights us when we confront him. It’s not his fault, but this isn’t something he will grow out of, he mirrors his mother’s behavior in every action. SD8 is an absolute sweetheart who is devastated by the situation, but suffers in silence. BM will not agree to any counseling and actively sabotages anything we do to counteract her conditioning. She also works at the children’s school so she indoctrinates them on our time as well. I work from home and I end up taking on the bulk of the child care and I’m dreading the summer where it will be a constant battle over the 7 hour right of first refusal and the constant lying and gaslighting, not to mention any excuse to get police involved. I could really use some ideas on how to handle this looming summer of chaos.
submitted by justdontdoitagain to Stepmom [link] [comments]
2024.05.07 14:55 emily_cjw I just had an epiphany and I think I'm gonna stop loving my mom... What should I do?
Ok, to start of, just wanna say, I'm not a fluent English speaker and my brain has been fried the last couple of weeks so I'm going to be pretty incoherent. Also,
TW: Emotional Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Parentification, Neglect, Divorce, Mentions of sexual abuse
Now that that's out of the way, here we go.
Growing up, I always thought my family was pretty tame. There was never really any physical abuse, beatings, alcoholism or all the bat shit insane reddit worthy stuff happening. My dad was a deadbeat, and my mom had cancer a few years ago from overworking, so they eventually divorced over financial stuff and strain in the marriage. And I always thought, as far as family drama goes, this is pretty average. Until this last year apparently? I just learned that maybe I was emotionally abused as a kid and my mom might just be very mentally ill...
See, I've been going to therapy for a year or so now cuz of some mental health issues (separate from this). And in a couple of recent sessions, I kept circling back to parts of my childhood I emotionally blocked out. And I realized after saying some of this shit out loud, the way I would describe my mom sounds like I'm describing an unstable, volatile, manipulative person. Which is weird cuz I remembered loving her so much and feeling so bad for all the stuff she had to go through when I was a kid. Some of the stuff my therapist pointed out that, in hindsight, ws so fucked up for my mom to be saying to a child included:
I had a talk with my sisters about this over the phone recently, and I brought up some of this stuff. And we just had a whole cry about it. I think we never get to grow up as proper people, and got stuck being my mom's second chance in life just cuz she fucked up and married my dad. And we feel like she only loves us cuz we are the perfect kids. If we even remotely slip up, she'd have a primal freak out and accuse us of not loving her. I don't even think she knows who I am as a person...
I also discovered that growing up this way fucked me up so much mentally. I'm a people pleaser to the bone. I don't think I am deserving of love unless I'm perfect, or if I give something in return. I am terrified of upsetting people, and I constantly think I'm annoying when I express that I need help. I don't have the confidence like my interests cuz I think I'll disappoint people an so on...
After piecing all this together, I don't know if I can keep my mom in my life anymore. I've always loved her and I always thought she was the strong single mom who pulled her kids out from an abusive home. But recently, I started to think maybe she's just a broken person who didn't know how to love her kids... I don't know how I should approach this, or how me and my siblings should move forward. I can't just abandon my mom, can I? She basically needs me. But she's also, in hindsight, one of the most toxic bat shit insane parents I've ever witnessed.
What do?
Edit: I deeply apologize for some of the words and fatphobic slurs used in the previous post. I was insensitive and only ever learned to refer to my father that way. Just to clarify, weight issues are a common problem for me and my siblings as well due to health issues, and we often joke about it with each other when being poked fun of. However, I understand that that is not customary to others and I will be much more careful when posting about it in public. I am also willing to change and edit out whichever words that may be offensive or rude. I'm sorry to whoever had saw it in the last post. 🙇
submitted by emily_cjw to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
TW: Emotional Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Parentification, Neglect, Divorce, Mentions of sexual abuse
Now that that's out of the way, here we go.
Growing up, I always thought my family was pretty tame. There was never really any physical abuse, beatings, alcoholism or all the bat shit insane reddit worthy stuff happening. My dad was a deadbeat, and my mom had cancer a few years ago from overworking, so they eventually divorced over financial stuff and strain in the marriage. And I always thought, as far as family drama goes, this is pretty average. Until this last year apparently? I just learned that maybe I was emotionally abused as a kid and my mom might just be very mentally ill...
See, I've been going to therapy for a year or so now cuz of some mental health issues (separate from this). And in a couple of recent sessions, I kept circling back to parts of my childhood I emotionally blocked out. And I realized after saying some of this shit out loud, the way I would describe my mom sounds like I'm describing an unstable, volatile, manipulative person. Which is weird cuz I remembered loving her so much and feeling so bad for all the stuff she had to go through when I was a kid. Some of the stuff my therapist pointed out that, in hindsight, ws so fucked up for my mom to be saying to a child included:
- Her telling me that her cancer was our (my 2 sisters and I) and my dad's fault, and that if she died, we would finally understand her pain. [I was 10]
- She had to get both her ovaries removed cuz of cancer, and couldn't have intimacy with my dad for a long time, so when they eventually argued about this, she told me and my little sister the next morning on the way to school that my dad tried to r*pe her... [I was 14, my little sister 10]
- She had an emotional breakdown one night after having a mild argument with my older sister, and basically ripped into me about how she had to give up her life and all he dreams for us, and she wished she never stayed and instead had abandoned us with our dad. During this she also said she knew I had mental health issues when I was a teen but thought I'd stop being depressed I only I knew how much worse she has it when she has to deal with it. [I was 19. Honestly not that young but still fucked up. She spent like 2 hours yelling at me in front of my then 15 year old sister at like 11pm till 1am, and didn't stop even when I was curled up into my knees sobbing. Also, apparently she said the same thing to my little sister recently too when I wasn't home]
- When I got my diagnosis for depression, she basically said it was my dad's fault and that being suicidal is stupid...
I had a talk with my sisters about this over the phone recently, and I brought up some of this stuff. And we just had a whole cry about it. I think we never get to grow up as proper people, and got stuck being my mom's second chance in life just cuz she fucked up and married my dad. And we feel like she only loves us cuz we are the perfect kids. If we even remotely slip up, she'd have a primal freak out and accuse us of not loving her. I don't even think she knows who I am as a person...
I also discovered that growing up this way fucked me up so much mentally. I'm a people pleaser to the bone. I don't think I am deserving of love unless I'm perfect, or if I give something in return. I am terrified of upsetting people, and I constantly think I'm annoying when I express that I need help. I don't have the confidence like my interests cuz I think I'll disappoint people an so on...
After piecing all this together, I don't know if I can keep my mom in my life anymore. I've always loved her and I always thought she was the strong single mom who pulled her kids out from an abusive home. But recently, I started to think maybe she's just a broken person who didn't know how to love her kids... I don't know how I should approach this, or how me and my siblings should move forward. I can't just abandon my mom, can I? She basically needs me. But she's also, in hindsight, one of the most toxic bat shit insane parents I've ever witnessed.
What do?
Edit: I deeply apologize for some of the words and fatphobic slurs used in the previous post. I was insensitive and only ever learned to refer to my father that way. Just to clarify, weight issues are a common problem for me and my siblings as well due to health issues, and we often joke about it with each other when being poked fun of. However, I understand that that is not customary to others and I will be much more careful when posting about it in public. I am also willing to change and edit out whichever words that may be offensive or rude. I'm sorry to whoever had saw it in the last post. 🙇
2024.05.07 14:47 Whole-Supermarket338 My personality has been changed
Hi guys im a 16 year old student and I wanna just share how my mental got damaged. So I think myself was born to be a Robin like you support other people and that's what I born. Btw I the typical guy that is a hard learner although happy with that role but one particular moment change my personality and mental health so I'm playing a video game if you know the game Albion online and we play like a group I think we're 28 people at a time and my role is a support. Just giving a little bit context the support role on the game is one of my favorite I'm grinding I practice it for the guild to help. So it's I think a group fight and I can't fucked up so much I admit it but I apologize to our team but there's a guy who trashtalks me in call and I was so humiliated in that moment that my tears started to fall off that moment there's a trade system in the game so I tried to trade it so he can use my weapon but he denied it and I just leave. I don't know I wanna make it a motivation to do better but it hurts match and I found out that after that moment I developed a fear "fear of failure" and it changes my personality much I know it's just a trashtalk but it hits different to me and after that I just lay on my bed replaying what happened I have a mental breakdown and said to myself why can't I do better and I'm so fucking failure. Now everytime im being told that my work is not right I eventually blame myself why I can't do better and why I'm useless piece of crap. I wanna stop playing video games but it's the my only source of happiness because my mom and dad are divorce so I don't experience the family thing. Now everytime I did wrong i blame myself for it. (Sorry for my bad English hope u guys understand it)
submitted by Whole-Supermarket338 to stories [link] [comments]