(TL;DR: I want to go through my gfs phone because I caught her texting some guy and liking another guy’s instagram post.)
I recently found out my gf was texting some guy. I had a feeling in my gut something was up because she was acting different, so when she left her laptop unattended I looked through her messages. She claims he’s a just friend, but what bothered me was the fact that he was clearly trying to be more than friends. He would send her messages like “thinking about you” and pictures of himself at the gym. He would call her nicknames and she would call him them back, but other than that she wasn’t flirting back when he was. I was hurt by the fact that she kept entertaining the conversation. We ended up talking about it and we left off good.
However, a few days after I found this guy on instagram that she follows and saw that she’s been liking his pictures since November 2023. I’m not sure if this is her original “friend” that I mentioned previously. I couldn’t see his face in the pictures he sent to her and I don’t remember the name she had him saved as. Also she said she just started texting the guy 2 weeks ago, but that could be a lie. Anyways I’m feeling a bit insecure. I want to trust her but I also want to see with my own eyes. Should I ask to go through her phone?

It happened to me, and its happening to my younger sister again.
We have this merit based exam in order to get admission to medical college. Am an asian with ndad so of course, I'd be forced to become a doctor.
The same happens with my sister. The thing is, she needed tuition. She couldn't study on her own. Very unfortunately, my ndad has got lot of logical thinking skills. So he considers everyone around him to be not worth his time, looks down on them, demeans them saying they won't be reaching anywhere in life.
Which also means he expects the same out of my sister. But even then, he says that "What's the need for tuition? Why do we need to give money to those guys who can't teach better than me? When you've got the best teacher here already why do you need them?"
He actually thinks whoever needs tuition are not worthy of getting into college. Cause they can't do it by themselves.
Tried a lot to persuade him it was a bad idea. But since he's the one with most power in house (he's got a loud voice too so everytime he dislikes something the slightest, he raises his voice and its quite scary), she was forced to study with him.
You could imagine how that went. She couldn't score well, and there's this system where those with lower ranks and marks can get admission through giving a lot of money.
Ndad is furious. Says why she couldn't do it. When the very reason she couldn't was due to him. His concepts of subjects aren't clear, but he thinks it is. He even sat my sister through study sessions every day for an entire year where he scolded her for the slightest mishaps. Now he says she's never opened a textbook to study, when he himself taught her through reading every lines from textbook. Since she couldn't understand through him, she was forced to cut off time from other subject self study and actually re-learn whatever he taught through youtube videos.
He says he's not at fault here at all. Says if there was a problem with him why didn't she say it, when she's been trying to tell him the entire time.
He then asks me that I tell him whatever his faults are. I did. He deflects them with all sorts of reasons to blame the other party instead and says he considers himself virtuous that he actually asked for someone to point out his faults, when other people can't even do that.
I get blamed too, saying the prime responsibility was with me. As a brother I didn't even think to ask her whether there were problems.
Mother gets angry at the way my sister is being treated so she lashes out, father gets angry in return and says everything is her fault and beats her etc.
That was yesterday and he obviously hasn't cooled down. Goodness knows when he will. It took months in my case.
I... don't know what to do. Its happened to me, and its happening with my sister again. I wish I could get away from him, but can't since I'm reliant on him. We all are. It's terrible. I wish I could find some peace in all of this.
I don't even know why I'm posting it here. Is it to vent? I'm not sure either since I'm quite aware that venting won't solve anything. I don't even know how to go about my own mental state. I'm about to 22, my sister is 19. Should I have been more stronger or something?
I've read and watched plenty of stuff about mindfulness. Like how it's not the event that's happening but the way you interpret it that affects you etc. I'm doing meditaiton practice. Don't know how much that is helping
Then... I guess it's like I said before. Perhaps I'm posting to ask for a solution, perhaps I need a friend. God I've got no friends. My social development has been pretty much stunted. Perhaps I need someone older in their 30s or 40s to comfort me. I wish to experience the warmth of an actual dependable adult being there for me.
Oh... damn. I'm tearing up now. I don't know what else to say.
Haha...

This post makes me sound very 💩’y and i know im a terrible person but its life. I reconnected with a guy 2 years ago (feb 2022) who had just freshly broke up with his girlfriend (at the time) of 2 years. We hit it off fast as we did before we have a lot of chemistry and we started off as best friends so we connect. I knew at the back of my mind i was a rebound but things were going very good we were with each other 24/7 i basically lived with him etc etc. Fast forward 3 months later (may 2022) i pull up on him unnanounced to chill and he’s outside with his ex… i was hurt i didnt talk to him for about a day after that and when i was finally ready to talk he had decided to get back with her which really hurt me.. they moved back in together about a week after but we kept contact we had secks once or twice, at the ending of may i ratted him out to her and they stayed together, he was mad at me but still decided to keep contact in july i ratted him out again and they stayed together for a weeks after that and broke up. We got back together fully & picked up right where things left off. After him hurting me though it was 100% diff. I was arguing with him 24/7 i couldnt trust him etc etc. fast forward to November we are at a really bad point in our relationship and boom the same thing that happened in may happened again only this time i pull up and she tells me they got married in may of 2022 which i did not know. She also tells me she had gotten pregnant from someone else after they seperated in july but her husband told her he wouldn’t be with her ever again if she kept the child so she got an abortion and she told me it had him crying so it really hurt him. Well after that i did not talk to him for maybe 3-4 weeks but i was so in love with this man that didnt last long. He never moved back in with his ex but he would constantly be over there staying the night etc. we reconnected dec 2022 and stayed close all of 2023 he was back and forth between us alot though. in fact in august of 2023 he made it known to his wife that he wanted a divorce so that he could be with me and what solidified it was a night his wife saw his car at my house and asked him to leave and come home with her and he never did. from what i knew from that point they were not talking at all. He was with me 24/7, we were doing good i had went public with our relationship on social media and she saw it. We were 100% serious. but she did not want to get a divorce at all and to be honest he didnt try hard enough in my opinion when i would bring it up he would get mad and safe to say it never happened. Well as you guessed it things got bad again and in January of this year he said he wanted to focus on himself, that turned into him going back to his wife. And after a few months of back in forth we decided to try POLY out with his wife but she just told me last week (after a month) that she didnt want to be in a poly anymore because she wants him to herself. He is now treating me like a side chick (which i guess i am) trying to protect her feelings and keep her happy.
Im honestly at the point where i just want to move on and find someone i can love 100% and not have to worry about any of this drama, but my question to you guys is do you think their marriage will work after all of this has occurred?
Eta: he is also very abusive and has given her a concussion before after going thru her phone and seeing she was conversing with one of her ex’s

I’m 34f intj with Asperger’s I’ve realized recently. I’m attractive and been single over 95% of the last 14 years.
Before 19 I would get in relationships cheating and leaving them. And I was attached and trapped l to guys I didn’t like. After this I made rules for myself so before I get with someone.
At 19 I dated guy 10 years older for 6 months when we broke up he told me he loved me because I was so strong but too strong for him.
I spent years counseling guys in relationships. I had a job required me to be social and had hundreds of guys try to get with me. I read over 50 books on relationships and social skills which makes me weirder because I still have Aspergers.
I know what I want in a relationship and once I can analyze them and see the way they think and their values align I can allow myself to get with them and go deep as I want someone to give me a real chance to and I do want someone I can trust and not worry about.
At 30 dated an enfp same age. The circumstances were hard and we lasted 8 months. He really taught me how to love and not betray myself even with small things.
Three years ago I met with an intj 39m, with Asperger’s from another country, who I’ve known as a casual friend for years. We spent time together and it wasn’t butterflies it was just patience and odd peace. It took me hours of talking and days of texting to realize that I could see him as more than a friend.
He told me all the things he cared about and the mistakes he made in his 18 yr marriage he was leaving. He really felt guilty for wanting to leave.
He values honesty but wasn’t honest to his wife. He made excuses to himself for not following his personal values. My worst fear is staying with someone and being unhappy. Which is what he went through. Hes got OCD and works allot, I love the way he thinks and what he worries about. He’s what I want when he follows what he values but the problem is he betrays himself.
Months later he came back but wouldn’t sleep with me because he wasn’t out of his marriage and he told me he wanted to do things right with me. But in the meantime he started getting with trashy girl cause he thought he could control the situation and got all attached.
Then months later we ended up having the best time but he said he was a mess and just wanted to be alone and then we stopped talking for a couple years.
There's another guy, also INTJ, 31, from 3.5 years ago. He's from a different country, and like the other INTJ, he's a bit unpredictable. This guy is even more successful and has more time. However, my feelings for him aren't as strong as when flaked out on me a few times, I blocked him.
Recently, he showed up in my city, bombarding me with messages from a different number, claiming he was waiting here to see me. I eventually met up with him. He kept asking me about my business which he has launched many similar, offering to help, but I don't trust him completely. Despite this, I gave him mushrooms (his first time) and let him into my house. Then, he vanished again. I can tell hes scared to get close to me but likes the idea hes for sure avoidant attachment. Now he’s tried to come back, right away asking for pictures, which I dont do and am not sending.
Then I reconnected with the now divorced intj guy had dated few girls between. Then recently got together again and he said he is most vulnerable with me and thinks of me as some kinda fantasy. But I feel like he projects his insecurities on me and looks down on me like why would I like him unless im not good.
But both these guys want pictures and both get attached from it. They've both had experiences with girls trying to manipulate them. While closeness, I can't pretend to be indifferent, and both of them seem intimidated by my intensity. However, we haven't spent enough time together to determine if a relationship could work. I'm not pushing either of them into anything serious.
But how is it that the only guys I am interested in have these same issues. It’s like this weird intj thing that they protect themself. I have an 41m intj friend that told me that when he really likes a girl he avoids them because hes scared and he hooks up with the trashiest.
I think this goes back to our trickster FE. Everyday I had guys end up liking me trying to do things for me but then it turns to some kind of weird resentment because I am so direct Im not interested and am uncomfortable leading people on. I don’t have the mental capability to deal with this kinda help like many have done in the past. And I purposely distance myself it makes it extremely hard to get things done. This is why I haven’t even tried to raise money and have taken on allot of debt paying and paying people rather than asking for help. Ive worked on my startup full time 5 years havnt launched its really holding me back.
I argued with my friend he said just take everyone’s money that they believe in me that’s all I need. But I will only have a chance to pitch to them one time when they really listen. These are all super successful people with lots of time. It has to get them excited so they help in an efficient way and give their time which is more important than the money. But I feel like I need to build it all out and figure out everything first so im confident and am stronger to the FE manipulation.
I've been stressed about a situation for months, but after a friend advised me on how to handle it, the problem was resolved in just five messages. I realize that if I could act this way with either of the guys, they might welcome me more openly. However, that approach I would be so lost with and it doesn't feel genuine to me, and I would feel inauthentic.
But im struggling in the same way the intj guys are with their relationships just in a different way. And ironically these two intjs are the only ones I really trust to give me honest feedback but im scared to let either of them in because im not sure they are capable of giving me a real chance.
Ive thought about the divorced guy for past 3 years should I just block him for good? I have never had such a crazy connection with someone but I dont want to be alone forever.
I feel like I understand relationships really well but my directness Isnt always appreciated. But I somehow have to change because I have to start talking to people and selling my whole team believes in me and I owe them. I wish I had one person to really trust that could help me but Im lost.
Sorry this is so long I try to be articulate so I can be understood

Im 35f intj with Asperger’s. I’m attractive and been single over 95% of the last 14 years.
Before 19 I would get in relationships cheating and leaving them. And I was attached and trapped l to guys I didn’t like. After this I made rules for myself.
At 19 I dated guy 10 years older for 6 months when we broke up he told me he loved me because I was so strong but too strong for him.
I spent years counseling guys in relationships. I had a job required me to be social and had hundreds of guys try to date/ have sex with me. I read over 50 books on relationships which makes me weirder because I still have Aspergers.
I know what I want in a relationship and once I can analyze them and see the way they think and their values align I can allow myself to have sex with them and go deep as I want someone to give me a real chance to and I do want someone I can trust and not worry about.
At 30 dated a 30 enfp The circumstances were hard and we lasted 8 months. He really taught me how to love and not betray myself even with small things.
Three years ago I met with an intj 41M, with Asperger’s from another country, who I’ve known as a casual friend for years. We spent time together and it wasn’t butterflies it was just patience and odd peace. It took me hours of talking and days of texting to realize that I could see him as more than a friend.
He told me all the things he cared about and the mistakes he made in his 18 yr marriage he was leaving. He really felt guilty for wanting to leave.
He values honesty but wasn’t honest to his wife. He made excuses to himself for not following his personal values. My worst fear is staying with someone and being unhappy. Which is what he went through. Hes got OCD and works allot, I love the way he thinks and what he worries about.
Months later he came back but wouldn’t have sex with me because he wasn’t out of his marriage and he told me he wanted to do things right with me. But in the meantime he started having sex with trashy girl cause he thought he could control the situation and got all attached.
Then months later we ended up having the best sex but he said he was a mess and just wanted to be alone and then we stopped talking for a couple years.
There's another guy, also INTJ, 31, from 3.5 years ago. He's from a different country, and like the other INTJ, he's flaky. This guy is even more successful and has more time. However, my feelings for him aren't as strong as when flaked out on me a few times, I blocked him.
Recently, he showed up in my city, bombarding me with messages from a different number, claiming he was waiting here to see me. I eventually met up with him. He kept asking me about my business which he has launched many similar, offering to help, but I don't trust him completely. Despite this, I gave him mushrooms (his first time) and let him into my house. Then, he vanished again. I can tell hes scared to get close to me but likes the idea hes for sure avoidant attachment. Now he’s tried to come back, right away asking for pictures, which I dont do and am not sending.
Then I reconnected with the now divorced intj guy had dated few girls between. Then recently we had sex again and he said he is most vulnerable with me and thinks of me as some kinda fantasy. But I feel like he projects his insecurities on me.
But both these guys want pictures and to be sexual and both get attached from it. They've both had experiences with girls trying to manipulate them. While I enjoy sex, I can't pretend to be indifferent, and both of them seem intimidated by my intensity. However, we haven't spent enough time together to determine if a relationship could work. I'm not pushing either of them into anything serious.
But how is it that the only guys I am interested in have these same issues. It’s like this weird intj thing that they protect themself. I have an 41M intj friend that told me that when he really likes a girl he avoids them because hes scared and he has sex with trash.
I had guys who liked me trying to do things for me but then it turns to some kind of weird resentment because I am so direct uncomfortable leading people on. I don’t have the mental capability to deal with this kinda help like many have done in the past. And I purposely distance myself it makes it extremely hard to get things done. This is why I haven’t even tried to raise money and have taken on allot of debt paying and paying people rather than asking for help. Ive worked on my startup full time 5 years havnt launched its really holding me back.
I argued with my friend he said just take everyone’s money that they believe in me that’s all I need. But I will only have a chance to pitch to them one time when they really listen. These are all super successful people with lots of time. It has to get them excited so they help in an efficient way and give their time which is more important than the money. But I feel like I need to build it all out and figure out everything first so im confident.
I've been stressed about a situation for months, but after a friend advised me on how to handle it, the problem was resolved in just five messages. I realize that if I could act this way with either of the guys, they might welcome me more openly. However, that approach I would be so lost with and it doesn't feel genuine to me.
And ironically these two intjs are the only ones I really trust to give me honest feedback but im scared to let either of them in because im not sure they are capable of giving me a real chance.
I feel like I understand relationships really well but my directness Isnt always appreciated. But I somehow have to change because I have to start talking to people and selling my whole team believes in me and I owe them. I wish I had one person to really trust that could help me but Im lost.
Ive thought about the divorced guy for past 3 years should I just block him for good? Hes still scared of me. I have never had such a crazy connection with someone but I dont want to be alone forever. How can i either forget him and move on or be less intense and safer for him?
TL;DR: You're a 35-year-old INTJ woman with Asperger's who has faced complex relationship dynamics and professional challenges. Despite being highly self-aware and analytical about your relationships, you've found yourself connected to INTJ men who struggle with similar issues of honesty, commitment, and vulnerability. Your directness and intensity in relationships seem to be both a strength and a challenge. Professionally, you're managing a startup but have been hesitant to seek external funding or support due to concerns over authenticity and independence. You're contemplating whether to continue or end a particularly intense connection with a recently divorced man. Simultaneously, you're grappling with how to open up more in both personal and professional contexts to avoid isolation and progress your goals.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Quirky_Scientist_835
AITAH for wanting a divorce from an otherwise good marriage because of unsatisfying sex?
Originally posted to AITAH
TRIGGER WARNING: manipulation, coercion, neglect emotional abuse, stalking
Original Post March 11, 2024
Throwaway because I am pretty sure he knows my main account
Me (F40s) met my husband (M40s) when we were in college. Both from very conservative religious backgrounds. Married super young and had 3 kids relatively quickly. The youngest will be an adult soon.
To say I was sexually repressed would be an understatement. I didn’t even have my first orgasm until I was 22 years old and it was practically by accident. Sex with my husband has always been satisfactory. In the beginning especially it was more about the intimacy and closeness and less about the act itself or getting off. My husband has, ahem, a hair trigger, and gets excited (and it’s over) easily. Still to this day over 20 years later. I think he’s a premature ejaculator but no official diagnosis or anything. So sex is often over quickly. He doesn’t want to leave me hanging so he will then try to get me off manually but over 90% of the time I just fake orgasms to get it over with because I know he can’t get me there. He is not adventurous. He doesn’t want to have oral sex (giving or receiving). He’s ok with taking direction but me just constantly telling him what to do turns into a mood killer for me. Any time I discuss working on our sex life he shuts down. Based on an experience we had about 12 or 13 years ago where we went to therapy for something that happened (not related to our marriage) he will not entertain the thought of therapy. Not sure if it’s because of the sex, but I’m only sometimes attracted to him. Some days I see him and I’m sure I have hearts in my eyes. Other times, especially in bed, I feel nothing. I have faked being asleep to avoid sex with him. Other times I will initiate sex and basically use him like a sex toy, but I no longer feel any emotional connection.
Aside from sex, our marriage is great. We raised wonderful humans. He loves and dotes on me. He still sends flowers to my work. He is patient and thoughtful and listens. He’s affectionate and always wants hugs or cuddles. He has always been good about sharing housework and responsibilities. He’s always been a super hands on dad. My family loves him and his family loves me. We have a lot of shared hobbies and interests. I genuinely enjoy his company.
I don’t know if this is a mid life crisis but I have a constant nagging thought that THIS IS IT and I hate it. I’ve chosen to be married to him which means I will never have a single enjoyable sexual experience with another human being for the rest of my life. I am not an ultimatum person and even if I gave him one, he’s not going to magically turn into a good sexual partner. I have the number of some divorce lawyers and I’m thinking of calling them and just exploring. Sometimes the idea of being single is terrifying and sometimes I think, it’s not so bad.
When I told my best friend, she flipped out. She said she would never speak with me again if I did this and that I’d lost my mind. She said it would be horrible and I would ruin a good man’s life. AITA?
Editing to add some details because people keep asking/commenting:
Yes, I own a vibrator. He does not want it used during sex.
I have tried introducing porn. He is not open to it.
I have been to therapy and will definitely be going again to a counselor. He is not open to it.
I am not a convincing liar and in most cases he knows I’m faking orgasms (he frequently questions whether I just faked it) but he also now sees it as the signal for throwing in the towel and is ok to just stop there and cuddle.
I have been blunt and open and honest about it. He shuts down. He will walk away, or cry, or sometimes say he’s open to change but then nothing will actually change.
UPDATE 3/12: thanks everyone for your input. I wanted to hear it, good and bad. I made an appointment with a therapist for the end of this week. I am working on a list of things I would like to see change (working on limiting his alcohol consumption, addressing his health issues/obesity, not avoiding difficult conversations) in addition to the sexual issues and will work with the therapist to figure out how to address them. A lot of what is going through my mind right now was the result of having 10 days to myself where he had to travel to Asia for work, and how happy and easy my life felt during that time. He was texting and calling constantly telling me how much he missed being home, while I was loving “single life” where I cooked whatever meals I wanted and went out where I wanted and went on hikes and had coffee with co-workers and hung out with my youngest just the two of us. I was masturbating at least once a day and having amazing orgasms. If I had thrown casual sex into the mix in that time, I probably would have been the happiest I’ve been in years. When he got back, he looked like absolute shit and said “I never want to be apart that long again.” We had sex within an hour of him coming home, and afterwards he was blissed out and I was numb. I think that’s when it hit me how much more he gets from our relationship. Whether we stay together or not, something needs to change.
Update Apr 30, 2024
Update to this post I made a couple of months ago:
https://www.reddit.com/AITAH/s/ZNnq2852Iu
This is long and rambling so the tl/dr version is: in therapy, and things are the same or maybe worse.
I took all of the comments to heart, particularly the critical ones. I met with two divorce lawyers that week to chat through what the divorce could look like. At the time I didn’t expect it to be contentious but I just wanted to know what the process would be. We have our house and some other assets in trust, and we’ve been together so long that I wasn’t sure how simple it would be tonight unwind. I love the house and I was the one who did most of the design and renovation, so my plan was to offer to buy him out of it if it came to that.
Sat husband down and told him that I met with lawyers, and he said “I know.” Turns out he’s been tracking me on Find My almost nonstop 24/7, and that one of the offices was the only address he didn’t recognize as one of my usual haunts so he drove by it. I didn’t ask about the second one I saw, but it’s next to a big shopping mall we frequent so I think he must have just assumed that’s where I was. I asked if he thought I was having an affair and he replied with, “No, I know you’re not.” Well yeah, because you’re tracking me. I guess.
Anyway, he said he knew this was coming, and wanted to do whatever it took to fix things. I told him I don’t know if that’s going to be possible, but at a minimum I would need:
​

1. Couples counseling for us.
2. At least one visit to a sex therapist.
3. Individual therapy for him.
4. For him to sort out his health (follow the new diet from the endocrinologist, take the meds he’s been prescribed, use the CPAP consistently, etc.).

​
I told him I would be with him every step of the way and support him in all of it, but nothing was going to happen unless he took initiative. I also asked what he needed from me and all he said was “No more talk of breaking up or divorce.” I said ok to this, and also told him that I knew he hated administrative tasks like making appointments and getting insurance approvals, I could help with all of those things, even his.
At first he agreed with the plan and vehemently insisted that he was on board. Finding an available LMFT with an appointment was not easy but I managed to find one that was in network and they had an opening two days later. Husband hemmed and hawed about going because it was “so soon”. Then he said “It’s a woman, so you and she will just gang up on me.” I canceled that appointment and it wasn’t easy, but I found a male therapist who could squeeze us in for the following week. I found a different male therapist for him to see alone, but that appointment was 3 weeks out. I also made a follow up endocrinologist appointment for him and that hasn’t happened yet, and he still hasn’t filled his prescriptions or started the diet.
On the day of the therapy appointment which was 6 pm on a Thursday, I'm in the waiting room 10 minutes before the appointment when my husband texts, "emergency at work. be there a little late." This man has had the same job for 23 years and the only time that there was an emergency that would have required him to stay that late was when someone literally died. The therapist comes out and introduces himself, I go in, and when I explain the situation he tells me that he's seen a partner get cold feet about therapy many times. I'm embarrassed and self conscious about it but he assures me there's nothing to be upset about, it's not my fault, and would I like to proceed and chat without my husband. I call my husband and put him on speakerphone. He says he can only talk for a few minutes and has to run for this mysterious emergency. I start crying and I hang up on him, and then spend the rest of the time telling the therapist why I am pushing for counseling in the first place. The entire session was basically me vomiting words and crying. I would like to say it was cathartic, but it wasn't. It was just sad to hear it all out loud for the first time. I come home, and husband is waiting with dinner. I ignore him, pack a bag, and head to middle child's apartment. I end up spending the weekend there while I try to sort out what to do. Husband texts me frequently but mostly leaves me alone. Middle child has a heart to heart with him but they end up arguing and that situation itself gets strained, which unfortunately hasn’t improved. Husband thinks middle child plays favorites. It is true, but husband hasn’t been helping that situation.
On Monday when I'm in the office, I get an email from the therapy practice that a new appointment has been made for the following evening. Husband took the initiative to make the appointment. I go home Monday night, and a long apology letter is written out to me, and he's left me a necklace as a gift. My husband is a terrible gift giver - he spends money like it's going out of style but none of his gifts are thoughtful or made with the person in mind, but this is a specific necklace that I bookmarked so at first I was pleasantly surprised. Then I realized that the only way he'd know about the necklace was from the bookmark, so yeah, he's also snooping through my Macbook. The therapy appointment is the following day so I just ignore him when he comes home, sleep in a guest room, and ignore him the following morning. We go to therapy that night, and my husband actually participates and answers questions. This session goes fine, and we have one later in the week which is fine too. I'm not seeing any immediate changes, but you know, Rome wasn't built in a day, so I'm going to be patient. Meanwhile, the therapist gives us the info for a sex therapist and highly encourages us to make an appointment, which I do right away. We see the sex therapist that weekend, and I'm still in the guest bedroom and nowhere near ready to have sex, but the therapist encourages me to move forward with the prompts/homework for sex for that week. I go back into our bedroom that night (just for sleep) and we follow the prompts the following night and have what is without a close second the best sex we have had ever. Seriously, over 2 decades, and it was the most satisfying sexual experience I have ever had. I was walking on a cloud for days.
That bubble popped the following week. We were still going to see the couples therapist twice a week, his individual therapy appointment was next week, and we had another appointment with the sex therapist the next month. Not much has changed in the day to day but again, I'm being patient. My husband actually initiates sex one night, and as we are getting into it, he says, "Can we go back to regular sex now?" Because for him, "regular" sex where he gets off and I don't was just peachy. I start to cry, and now he's holding me and I swear he's almost relieved to be off the hook and not have to have sex at all. Middle child wanted to go to a concert that was out of town and asked if I'd dogsit the new puppy, so instead of just going over there for a few hours a day like I'd been planning, I packed a bag and ended up spending almost a week there and let middle child have some more time on vacation. Husband texted, called, and showed up every day but I wouldn't talk to him or let him in, and only saw him at therapy sessions. The therapy sessions end up being a waste of time, with my husband half admitting that he has unaddressed problems, but not really willing to change any behaviors. The therapist was super patient but I could feel an undercurrent of exasperation, like...what is it you people are trying to save? Husband is a stew of repression, insecurity, health issues, Madonna-Whore complexes, and unaddressed childhood trauma. He's so averse to confrontation that he would literally buy his way out of a difficult conversation if given the choice. Nothing will change as long as he's unwilling to work on that.
I move back in, and I even move back into the bedroom. Husband ended up skipping individual therapy because "Isn't two sessions a week enough?" Didn't even cancel, he just didn't go. Went back once to the sex therapist, but with a borderline catatonic look on his face and didn't say or do much the entire time other than nod. I've been back at home, going through the motions of life. Husband initiates sex constantly and I go along with it, but have only gotten off twice in about 12 or 15 times (and I am no longer faking it). Husband is so happy because as far as he's concerned, everything is fine even when I tell him it's not. I know the right thing to do is to just divorce, but I feel so messed up in the head that I just want to throw a proverbial grenade into my life and like cheat by bringing a guy home or something. That's it. No happy ending (no pun intended), no unhappy unending. Just limbo.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Usual-Archer-916

If I were you I would come right out and ask him why he didn't give a damn about your pleasure. And make him actually answer the question.

OOP

This was something raised during therapy. According to him, he’s insecure about disappointing me because I’m so fucking precious that he doesn’t even want to try and be a let down. Like - no sexual experience is good enough for me. I wish I was making that up, but it’s almost verbatim his answer.

~
GroundbreakingWing48

First and foremost change every password to every device. Turn off Find My access to him. Turn on two factor authentication and change your Apple ID password. Finally, do a factory reset on your phone and tablet (if you have one) and re-set it up manually.
Shut down the stalking/invasion of privacy immediately. Do NOT wait until you file for divorce.

OOP

Will it make any difference though? I honestly don’t know if I care if he sees anything. I have been journaling for years and transitioned to typed journals many years ago, and I found out he’s been reading them. I don’t think there’s a corner of my life and brain that he hasn’t been in. It feels too late and too unimportant to care.

OOP when told she shouldn't vent to the kids

I never vent to my kids. They’ve heard nothing from me other than “I just need a little space, ok with you if I hang here?” Middle child and my husband got into it mostly because of the constant surveillance, which husband does with two of the three kids also (and probably would for the third given the chance).

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Cassie-One8744
Originally posted to Marriage
My (33F) husband (34M) fell in love with another woman and wants to try polyamory
Trigger Warning: infidelity, verbal abuse, manipulation
Original Post: April 7, 2024
Hi. I've been married to my hubby for 4 years and we've been together for 12 years. After lot of financial struggle, we bought a house and we are now planning to get kids.
Thing is a few months ago, my husband fell sick and had to stay home for a while. He decided to pick up an online game and started having weekly sessions with a group of players. Among them is a girl (30? I think) and long story short, he fell in love with her.
He broke down crying a month ago and admitted it. He told me it built up so gradually he didn't understand how he felt until it was 'too late'. They started texting privately after meeting and eventually had one on one calls together. Then at some point, he said, she told him she was in love with him and he realized it was mutual. He said he told her it was impossible but loved her too. They tried to be just friends but they "couldn't resist" and continued to show affection for each other (he showed me the texts) but also venture into sexting. She asked if she could meet him face to face but he refused.
So he told me all of this, apologized over and over again and told me he couldn't control himself and while he loved us both, it was me he would choose no matter what. I was still very upset and slept at a friend's that night to gather my thoughts.
I decided to forgive him because he clearly felt guilt and wanted to work it out. I told him that while I was deeply hurt, I still appreciated him coming forward to me and being honest about what happened. We got into long conversations about how we were feeling in our relationship… I accepted he could love someone else but said I didn't like how he handled it. He agreed. And then yesterday he asked if I was comfortable opening up the marriage to polyamory. He said he still wanted to live with me and have kids but can't erase nor ignore the feelings he has for her.
He says he wants to do it right and let us both see other people, with clear boundaries and communication and still be present for one another. I'm gonna be honest, it made me very uncomfortable at first. We have several friends who are poly, I know more or less how it works… But I never really thought about getting into it myself. I am not against, it just never crossed my mind before. I am trying to think it through but it's a lot to take in.
Sorry my writing is probably messy but it's kind of hard to focus. I guess it's too early to decide and we have a lot more to discuss beforehand, but still…
Could you guys give me your opinions on this?
Thanks a lot
Top Comments
Commenter 1: I'd be divorcing so fast.
DogOfTheBone: So he cheated and now wants to be able to keep cheating by calling it poly, lol. Come on.
Do not have kids with this man for the love of God and if you have any self respect you'll be serving him divorce papers soon as possible. Sorry your husband is a cheating ass.
swampcatz: You got married under the assumption you would remain monogamous. He is trying to fundamentally change the nature of your relationship. If I were you, I would drop any attempts at conceiving and figure out your next steps. Personally, I would not stay with someone who desired an open relationship. You need to decide if it’s something you’re willing to entertain or not.
 
Update: April 25, 2024
Hey guys,
Original post here.
First off, sorry I didn’t reply to all your comments. I am very thankful for them; they helped me realize hard (but fair) truths about the whole situation. I waited for a bit to think about it all and had multiple long discussions with my husband. I wanted to confront him before making a final decision.
To answer some of your questions: the other girl wanted to meet him, but they never did. Partly because my husband refused, but honestly, mostly because she lives too far from here. I still got checked for STDs, though, and I'm clean (yay!). As for our polyamory friends, they apparently were the ones who suggested him to go down the polyamory road. I stopped talking to them for now; I'll deal with the bigger problem first.
I told him his actions hurt me deeply and that while I appreciated him admitting his affair, it was still infidelity. I told him what you guys said: that turning it into polyamory was merely greenlighting the affair after the fact. That polyamory should be built on mutual trust and communication, which he already broke. That I didn't feel respected.
It destroyed him. He said he already knew, deep down, but didn’t want to admit it, neither to me nor to himself.
We both screamed and cried a lot.
He finally admitted he wanted to open the marriage for selfish reasons. He is very sorry. He cut off contact with the other girl, let me fully access his computer and phone, and now wants to go to counseling to repair our relationship and marriage. He is showing me a lot of affection and attention since then, although he admits himself it's sometimes out of guilt and not just out of pure love.
And now I want to make it work too, but… Am I? Or is it sunk cost fallacy? I don't know. Our first session is in two months (the earliest we could get), and every day I change my mind. Literally yesterday I wanted to leave him, while today I think it's worth giving it a try.
Because we've known each other for so long, we understand each other on a very deep level, share a lot of interests, and have already built so much together. He was there for me during hard parts of my life. He took responsability for his actions and is really trying. Plus, if I leave him, I'd have to start my life nearly from scratch: find a new place to live, go back into dating for the first time in 12 years… I don't want to lose everything… It sounds very hard and scary. Am I not too old for this?
But at the same time, that's a form of denial, isn't it? It doesn't matter if those years were good; it's not going to be the same. Even if he gains my trust back, even if I forgive him, I'll never forget. I think he is genuinely remorseful, but isn't it too late for that? I am too empathetic, him being present now doesn't erase what was done. Do I want to stay not because I still believe in this relationship, but because don't have the strength to ask for a divorce? Because it's the easy choice, some kind of co-dependency?
I have no idea. I can picture both paths clearly, and it's tearing me apart. I am lost, maybe even more than I was when I wrote my previous post. I've lost sleep and appetite, and I'm not sure I enjoy anything in my life anymore. I booked an appointment with a psychologist, for me alone, to help with this whole thing.
I am sorry; at this point, I am rambling. I know I am the only one who can decide what's okay and comfortable for me or not. It's ultimately my choice and my choice only. The emotional hell I am going through just makes thinking about that choice very hard and paralyzing. I'll go to both therapies and try to see what to do from here.
I'll try to update, but it's probably going to take a while. I am sorry. I want to thank you again for your support, and I am sending you guys a lot of love.
EDIT : a couple of infos I should have mentioned but didn't because putting all of that into writing without omitting something is much harder than I thought.
He cut off contact with her because once he told him he was married and wanted us both, she just ran away and broke up with him. There are times since then where my husband starts feeling sad or angry because of what's basically withdrawal. And for that he's smart least sensible enough not to blame me.
What kind of marriage did we had before this crisis? It will sound so naive… It's my first and only romantic relationship, we were very close and basically grew as adults together. We could talk about anything and understand each other. We shared the same values and interests. What changed… I think… Is that we got into a routine and he got bored.
During our argument he said he was addicted to the attention the girl was giving him and that he felt I didn't show him I was in love with him enough anymore. I told him that even if it was true, he should have told me instead of having an affair. On one hand I have my faults too and I could accept this as one of them, on the other I was taking care of him and the house while he was sick. I don't think he believes it, I don't think he means it. But it makes me wonder whether I was actually a good wife for him. Even though I am not responsible for his actions.
Thanks again for your support y'all. It's a lot, A LOT, to process but it helps me. So much.
Relevant Comments
OOP on if she and her husband have kids and plans on getting counseling

OOP: Kids are off the table. If we do go into counseling, and it goes exceptionally well, maybe we'll talk about it. But for now, the distrust is already there. He says "I love you" but I never know whether it's to regain my trust, whether he means it or not. Even if he does, does he love me or is it a lie he tells himself?

DogOfTheBone: If you choose to stay, don't be surprised if in a year you find him talking to someone again. Cheaters are sneaky. They'll show remorse and swear they've changed. Meanwhile they're smirking inside because they've started a new affair and think they can get away with it this time.

OOP: Thank you. It's obvious and well known. "Once a cheater, always a cheater"… but reading it helps me fight denial. I really need to break up with him. If not for myself, just to show him that actions have consequences.

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Free_River_3388
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
Previous BoRU
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: I had a baby as a result of an affair and now his wife is reaching out to me
Trigger Warnings: infidelity, past abuse, mention of abortion, deadbeat father, coercion, manipulation
RECAP
Original Post: January 28, 2023
I (F, 26) had an affair with a married man (M, 42) a few years ago. I had no clue he was married when we first met and hooked up. I obviously looked him up on social media and while he did have photos of his kids on there, there was absolutely no mention or photos of a wife at all. I found out that he was married about a month after we first got together, but he told me it was just a marriage on paper and that they basically lived separate lives and agreed to remain married for practical purposes until the kids were older. They owned a business, which she really ran and he was just financially involved in.
I knew at the time that I probably shouldn’t believe him, but I convinced myself it was true. I was in my early 20s and so attracted to him and I guess almost infatuated with him. He made me feel so good. I know now that I should have ended it immediately, but I didn’t realize what I was getting myself into. I was addicted to all of the attention he gave me, the great sex, the places he’d take me. I felt special. I was so naive.
I got pregnant about a year into seeing him. I had always been so careful with preventing pregnancy, but during my relationship with him I took stupid risks. I was so high in lust with this guy, it’s embarrassing. The things he’d asked me to do…I’d say yes to almost anything, even when I knew it was a bad idea.
I was in love with him, or I thought I was. I hadn’t intentionally wanted to get pregnant. I would of course dream about being his wife and having a family but I knew that wouldn’t be a possibility while he had this arrangement with his actual wife. I didn’t get pregnant on purpose with any intention of him leaving her for me, even if I wished that we could be a real, normal couple. I was surprised by how excited I was to be pregnant with his baby. I wanted that baby once I found out I was pregnant. The thought of carrying this baby of the man I loved was so special to me, but I knew he probably wouldn’t feel the same.
I told him I was pregnant and he told me I couldn’t keep the baby. I expected his reaction, but I was devastated and it hurt me to my core that he didn’t feel the same way I did. He offered to pay, to make a whole weekend of it somewhere exciting (wtf?) and to buy me something special if I’d just please get rid of the baby. He explained that he didn’t want any more kids and that he couldn’t openly be a father to another kid when he and his wife were still pretending to be happily married to the outside world.
I agreed to do what he wanted and we made plans for him to pick me up and find somewhere out of town to go get it done. I was all packed the night he was going to pick me up, but I started to feel really scared and really unsafe about the whole thing. I took my bag and checked myself into a hotel to hide because I couldn’t go with him. I texted him to say I promised to never contact him again and to never name him as the father or go after child support if he’d promise to leave me alone.
At first he tried to sweet talk me into doing what he wanted. When I didn’t cave in, he said some very nasty things to me and that I essentially better never contact him again or show up at his door.
I have a 2 year old now. At times, it’s been difficult, but overall we are thriving as best we can. I have kept my word about not naming his as the father or requesting child support.
His wife contacted me on social media. Well, she’s his ex-wife now. She wants to talk to me. She found out about me and told me that she divorced him 6 months ago. She wants her children to know their sibling and for my child to know his siblings. That’s weird to me.
I haven’t responded back to her yet. I am unsure about how to approach this. How to I respond to this? I wonder if I’m being selfish by not exploring an option for my child to know his siblings, if she’s being genuine about that. If I was married and my husband fathered a child outside of our marriage I don’t think I’d feel the same that she does.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Comment 1

I didn’t know he was married when we first got together. I acknowledged that I should have ended the relationship as soon as I found out he was married. I allowed myself to believe what he told me, which made it seem not so bad - like this was some sort of agreement he and his wife had. Emotionally, I was already hooked. I’m not making excuses.
I wouldn’t say I was “happy” to bring a baby into this situation. There was a huge mix of emotions. I felt like I was in love with him, so there was a part of me that was excited at first. That feeling soon died, but I felt that I loved my baby still. I tried to do the best thing that I could, which was to remove myself from his life and his family’s life. I just wanted to be able to keep my baby and love my baby. I did not get pregnant on purpose. I wasn’t on birth control. I had been on birth control when I was slightly younger and had a life threatening health complications as a result. He knew I wasn’t on birth control. He loved unprotected sex. I was stupid and I agreed to do it. I would do almost anything he asked sexually. I tried to track my cycle and would tell him when it was probably not a safe time to do it.
His wife isn’t really what I’m afraid of. Whatever she’d want to say to me is probably deserved anyway, and more.

Comment 2

He found out about the pregnancy before I “ghosted” him. And upon finding out I was pregnant with his child, there was absolutely no real discussion about what we were going to do. We were going to do what he wanted to do and he had it all planned out. He threatened me, by text and by phone calls and voicemails, when I told him I was not going to go with him on this abortion vacation he had planned. I begged him to please not force me to do that and he turned mean. I offered to never contact him again if he’d just let me go. After threatening me again, about what he’d do if I didn’t keep my word, he agreed. He has kept his side of the bargain and has never contacted me.

Comment 3

I’ve been assuming that she found out about me in her own, maybe saw something on his phone or computer and has probably known for a while before reaching out to me (if it’s actually her).
I get what some people are saying about siblings and such, but that man is not my child’s dad. He is the dad of his older kids but he’s not the dad of my kid. I’m still young and I hope to have more children one day, and those children would be my son’s siblings. I hope to find a man who loves me and my son and with whom I can have a legitimate relationship. I haven’t been with another man since I ended things with this guy. I actually just went on 2 dates for the first time very recently. I’m not desperate to find a man right now, but I hope to find real love one day.
Those people are not my son’s family. He’s 2 and they’re old enough to drive. So, I do t think they’re missing out on any sort of important relationship right now. I understand wanting to know your bio family, and I feel he can decide that later on when he’s old enough to have a day. Depending on where we are at in our lives at the time, he might not feel a need to know those people.
I don’t plan to lie to my son about his conception, but I don’t think we need to involve ourselves with the man’s ex-wife and teenage children at this time.

 
Update: February 18, 2024
I made a post 3 weeks ago and things have only gotten stranger. I had an affair with a married man a few years ago. I regret it and I will never do anything like that ever again. I knew it was wrong from the very beginning, but he captivated me. I was naive. I allowed myself to believe when he told me they were pretty much just married on paper for the sake of their kids. I got pregnant and while he tried to talk me into getting an abortion I ultimately decided to keep the baby. I have a 2 year old little boy now. I promised this man that I wouldn’t expose our affair and I wouldn’t formally identify him as the father or request child support. I did that because he was becoming very nasty about the whole thing and I felt like due to the mess that I had created and the way I felt by the end of it, a clean break with no involvement with him would be the best thing for everyone. I moved back to where my family is, hundreds of miles from where he and his family live.
About a month ago his ex-wife reached out to me via social media, claiming they had been divorced for 6 months and that she wanted our children to be able to know each other. Now, their kids are teenagers, so I didn’t really think they’d want anything to do with the toddler and the woman their father was having an affair with. It seemed odd to me. After posting here, I sort of decided that I wouldn’t respond to her. I’d just ignore it. She just sent me the one message, so it wasn’t as if she was badgering me about talking to me or meeting me.
On Friday night I decided to message her. I don’t really know why. I think it was really just for my sake so I could have the chance to apologize to her. I told her that I would be more comfortable speaking with her face to face since I couldn’t trust that it was really her. She said she understood. I was too nervous to meet her in person, but we did a video chat. I didn’t know what to expect, if this was all a ploy just to unleash her fury on me or what. I mean, I’d deserve that. She wouldn’t be wrong to feel that way.
It was really her. She told me she discovered our affair when she found communications between the two of us, after our relationship had ended. She told me I’m one of many women he had affairs with over the years and she knew about somebody even before he met me, but she didn’t divorce him at the time. Finding out about my child was the final straw for her. I told her I was sorry for my relationship with her husband and admitted that I knew he was married. She graciously told me she forgives me and that while she harbored a lot of anger towards me initially, she ultimately blames her husband. I’m not blameless, but she chooses to not hate me, essentially. She said she couldn’t have said this 6 months ago or a year ago when she first found out about me, but she has moved past that. She still has anger toward him, in addition to many other emotions surrounding him. She started pouring out her heart to me about their 20+ year marriage and life together and it was very awkward because what do I even say?
Her kids know about me and my son. She says they’re very mad at their father. Somehow I don’t think they’re mad about the fact that he’s not involved with my son’s life. And why would they be mad about that? I would hate me if I were them.
I told her with my son being so little right now, I don’t really feel comfortable with him meeting her kids or being involved with their family. I feel unsure about it and it’s just not something I feel needs to happen right now.
Then she told me her ex husband was in a bad accident 2 months ago. He’s fine now, still not allowed to return to all his normal activities just yet, but will be fine. He is probably the most physically active person I’ve ever met, barely ever seems to sit down, so he must be terribly annoying to be around if he’s not allowed to go go go all the time. She told me he wants to meet my son. Apparently she moved back in with him temporarily when he first came home from the hospital. She said the accident really shook him up and he has been expressing a lot of regret about my son, not being involved, not providing for him.
So now it’s like was everything she said just a lie and he somehow got her to reach out to me on his behalf? And she actually did it? It felt almost like a relief talking to her initially, but then it’s like was any of that true or you were just trying to be his messenger? I don’t even know if that part is true now. Why wouldn’t he just contact me himself?
I’m just feeling so uneasy about the whole thing now.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Comment 1

I don’t believe I HAVE to involve his teenage children in my son’s life. Maybe when my son is old enough to decide if he wants that.
He is not named on the birth certificate and I do not receive child support from him. I have asked nothing of him, except to let me move away and not try to force me to have an abortion. I basically had to promise him to not contact him, not make him as the father, not request child support.
If he truly wants involvement with my son he can reach out to my directly and he can take the legal route to establish himself as our son’s father.

Comment 2

He did not legally sever his rights. He never established rights in the first place. He has no rights until he goes to court and establishes himself as the father. He is welcome to do that.
Honestly, I wish my son did have a father who was involved in his life and loved him. Yes, this guy has faults, but he has plenty of positive qualities. He is really involved with his older children. I met them many times because they’d be at work with him or he’d have to drop by the office in his way to take them somewhere. He was always doing things with them. They seemed like good kids who really loved their dad. I wish my son could have that experience too. I didn’t think it was an option based on how he behaved when I was pregnant. He wasn’t interested and wanted me and our baby to go away. That’s what I did. And I accepted it.

Comment 3

He is not legally my son’s father at this time. This means that currently he has no legal parental rights or responsibilities regarding my son. I cannot stop him from taking the legal steps to establish paternity if he wishes to do so.
He will always be my son’s biological father. I can’t change that fact. Regardless of whether or not he ever legally establishes paternity, my son will likely be curious about his biological father and who knows, maybe they will establish a relationship one day regardless of legal paternity.
There is no way to say if I will meet a man who may want to adopt my son one day, thus becoming his legal father. It’s something that I think would be nice, but nothing that I’m “intent” on doing. By choice, I’ve only been one 2 dates since my son was born and that was only within the year 2024. I realize that it will not be as simple as signing a piece of paper.

 

----NEW UPDATE----

Update #2 - April 30, 2024 (2 months later)
I posted about this few months ago.
To summarize very quickly, when I was fresh out of college I had an affair with a married man and father. I became pregnant. He wanted me to get an abortion. He had arranged to “take me away” in a “vacation” to get an abortion. I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do but I agreed to go along with what we wanted. At the last minute, when he was on his way to come pick me up, I told him I couldn’t go through with the abortion. I just really didn’t feel comfortable about his plan and how he was orchestrating everything. It scared me. I realized at that time how deep I had gone with this mistake, how screwed up the whole relationship was.
He was really mad. He threatened me, said a lot of nasty things to me. I told him if he just left me alone and let me have my baby then I’d leave him alone and wouldn’t name him as the father or seek child support. I moved back home (I was living in a different state when I met him). I kept my word and I did t it name him as the father or seek to establish paternity. I have never sought child support. My child is 2 now.
A few months ago his wife contacted me via social media. At first she made it seem like she wanted my child to have the opportunity to know his siblings. It was sort of weird since the siblings are teenagers. She said she had divorced him 6 months prior.
I agreed to talk to her virtually, not in person. I felt that I owed it to her to apologize for what I had done. I do feel bad about it. But at the end of the conversation I told her that I didn’t feel it was the appropriate time to connect my son with her kids. He’s a toddler and their teens, plus I had promised her husband to stay out of his life. That’s when she told me that he was recently in a bad accident and she had been helping to take care of him. Supposedly he was going to be fine and was fairly recovered at that point, but she said he had expressed interest to meet our child. So she was basically his messenger.
I have not been in contact with her since then. I deleted my social media. I don’t know why, but the whole thing just really made me uncomfortable.
Since I last posted here….
Then, I received a handwritten letter from him. In it, he expressed how he wanted to get to know our son, he wants to be a father to our son, he wants to provide financially for him, he’d like us to come visit him. He asked me to sign a paternity affidavit. I refused to do so. I know he is my son’s father but I’m not going to make this that easy for him. After the things he said to me and threatened me with, he at least has to work for this.
At that point, my parents felt that we needed to meet with a lawyer. All communication from me has gone through a lawyer. I have never responded to him personally/directly.
Now, I have a court order for paternity. I have to present my son to have a specimen taken tomorrow. I already know what it’s going to say.
It’s not that I don’t want my son to have a dad in his life. It’s just…the whole situation is a mess. And he lives a few states away from me. I don’t know what to do. I can’t really do anything. He’s doing things legally. Next, I’m sure he’ll petition for some form of custody or visitation. He’s not married anymore, supposedly, but he’s a lot more established than I am. He has considerably more financial resources. I also know he has all sorts of connections where he lives. Luckily they don’t hold as much weight here in my state but it’s still so scary to me.
I’m a bad mom. I brought my son into this world knowing it was a messy situation. I just got so comfortable with it just being the 2 of us and now I don’t want to give that up.
Relevant Comments
OOP on if the father would be moving closer to her and her son now that he’s divorced from his ex-wife

OOP: To touch on just a few things…
I don’t think he’ll move away from where he lives. He has way too much established there.
He’s in his early 40s. I don’t know how this supposed accident (if that even really happened) has affected him, but he was incredibly physically active when I knew him. He only slept like 4 hours a night, took a 20 minute power nap daily, and rarely ever sat down. He was also HIGHLY involved in his children’s lives. I’d even say overprotective, like a helicopter dad instead of the typical helicopter mom.

Careless_Welder_4048: How did he have time to cheat?

OOP: He only slept a few hours a night and moved at about a million miles a minute. Everyone joked about it. Somehow he always had time to get up at 5 am, go surfing, do some work, take his kids to school, do some work, take his Power Nap, get coffee, pick his kids up after school and take them wakeboarding or some other sort of thing like that, do some more work, be at his kid’s basketball game, and so on and so forth. He literally never ever stopped.
I was just another thing to help fill out his calendar to prevent him from getting bored.

OOP on the father’s relationship with his ex-wife and their children

OOP: I also don’t think he and his wife had much of a relationship, although it wasn’t quite as he described it to me. They lived in the same house but I believe they lived pretty separate lives. He bought her a business to give her something to do and keep her busy. She was there most of the time. They didn’t even go to their kids activities together. He was always the one going. So I think that freed up time too. I don’t think they liked being around each other so she was happy to have him out of the house. She admitted to me that I wasn’t the first affair he had and she knew about most of the time we were together.

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

So there’s this guy that I’ve liked for quite sometime now. We met each other back in the beginning of the school year in September 26, 2022. We’ve been friends for over a year now and it’s been almost a year since I’ve liked him. We have almost every single little thing in common and it’s so rare to find someone that had the same interests as me and that understands me so well and that also makes me happy and laugh like crazy. Although the situation I’m in is quite complicated. Last school year, we both flirted with each other and were very intimate and lots of my other friends told me that he had a crush on me but I wasn’t sure if I liked him back at the time. I had this crush on a guy (16M) I had met last year and texted online since he transferred and around April 2023, I confessed to the guy and we started dating. But then (17M) by every day that passed by, he became more intimate and every day I started developing feelings for him. He would even ask if he could touch my thighs and kiss my cheek and I said yes because I loved being with him and he was so oblivious to the fact that I liked him back. Over the summer the flirting increased and we were so glad to dee each other again since a new school year started. I still had some feelings for (16M) but I realized it would be best to break up because I would hardly even talk with him and he was the driest mf ever. In the meantime, (17M) was as intimate as ever and in October 2023, I decided to risk it and confess my love to him. At first he kept asking if I was joking with him but I told him how much I loved him and he started confessing how much he loved me as well. He even said he was crying badly to sleep when he found out me and (16M) were dating. After that day, (17M) started dating and they were the most amazing days of my life. He treated me like a queen, he would hug me all the time, holds my waist, kiss my cheek, help me get through tough times, make me laugh, and we were also each others first kisses. He even joined tennis so that he could be with me more despite his dislike for sports. Although after a month or two, I noticed one day that he was being a bit drier than usually or as if he hardly cared about me and I tried talking to him once when he was on his phone. I gave him this matching necklace for our anniversary but this mf didn’t even look away from his phone to talk to me and he mumbled every response. I was so hurt and I cried to sleep that night. The weekend passed and I was back at school. My friend (18tM) and his other friend (17tM) rushed to me and said “We need to tell you something about (17M)… he’s cheating on you.” My mind went blank for a second and they brought me closer for a conversation. They said how over the weekend, (17M) and this guy (19M) went to a boba shop together and turns out (17M) gave (19M) a blowjob in the restroom. A little fun fact here by the way, they’ve met each other for 3 DAYS. I couldn’t breath when I found out and had a whole anxiety or panic attack and was crying drastically. My friends comforted me and decided we confront him later that day. (18tM) and I found him in the hallway and(17M) walked to me, handed me the necklace, and said “It’s over” with a sorrow face and tone. I froze and on my way to class, had another panic attack. Turns out that (17tM) our friend that (17M) had told the event to, had told him that I had found out about what he had done. After school, I texted the guy (19M) and talked with him about the whole situation and he said “Oh I’m so sorry, (17M) had told me he was single 3 weeks ago.” The next couple of days after that I decide to stop talking to (17M) because I needed some time away from him. Later he had came up to me at lunch wanting to explain his whole side but I told him I was more comfortable over text because I couldn’t care to see his face. He was saying how he didn’t know we were still dating because around 4 weeks ago, I was crying to him about how my parents found out we were dating and I said how we couldn’t be together anymore. He took it as a break up and just going into friends with benefits since we still did the same things as before like the intimacy. In my point of view I thought we were still dating and he said that if he knew we were still dating he wouldn’t have done it.He was exposing how he trusted the guy and were just jokingly flirting at first, then decided to do it since (17M) had been wanting to try it out and wasn’t sure if he’d ever get the chance to do it if he dated me again so he decided to do it. Both the guys were aware that they had no feelings for each other and (17M) said how he liked it but felt neutral about it. (17M) said how he’d been telling me to control my friend (16F) since she had been attacking and texting him about what a bad bf he was since I tell her everything about us and I kept saying “I’ll try to get her to stop” since he kept saying if I didn’t he would hesitate to just being friends. He also said how he didn’t really reeled lover anymore and was just really lonely and had some stuff he was going through and also how we didn’t have any classes together just between some class periods,lunch, and after school but explained how he still wanted to be friends because he hadn’t ever met anyone like me and I was important to him and he never meant to hurt my feelings in the first place. I asked if he would ever date me again since I had still had strong feelings for him and he said “I don’t know I’ll have to see if I develop feelings again and preferably when we’re a bit older so I could be mature about it.” A week later, I started to sit at his table again and little by little we started to become the friends we were back then. Although I haven’t forgave him until a couple months later. Anyways, timeskip to December 2023. Him and I are super close again and I’m staring to think he light be falling for me again because he had given me lots of signs. When we see each other after school, he holds my face and gets super close and apologizes for having to leave home. Or one time in art class, he skipped math to stay with me. I was drawing on the board and he came behind and hugged me from behind to surprise me and I squealed. I was so happy and I was like “I’m so happy you’re here! Let me finish drawing and I’ll be with you in a bit.” After I finish I turn around and see him sitting on my chair and I’m I’m “Aw shucks that was mine” and sit on the floor below him. He chuckled and he slowly started to reach down to hold my head and he moved it onto his thigh so I can rest there. He gently wrapped his hand around my cheek and chin and caressed my lips and MY FACE WAS SO RED. I will never forget that day. A week later was winter break and we were sad at the fact we wouldn’t see each other for two weeks. Although in those two weeks, he would leave me on delivered or read ALL THE TIME or would say how busy he was. Winter break was almost over and I was excited to see him at school again and it’s now January 1 2024. I receive a text from him and immediately jump and run excitedly to see what he says and it says “Guess what.” And I’m like “Hmmm idk what” and he says, “I got a bf :)” and my heart sunk. I left the room to go cry about half and hour and came back to respond “wow I’m happy for you.” I also asked things about how he looked and his name but he said that was his privacy. He said how it was a guy he met in a Pokemon discord server and had known for 3 months and liked for 2 weeks. Btw the guy lives like almost halfway across the country. He also said how I was the first person to know which made me feel a little special. I was hurt though because the way he described his bf, (18M), was almost the exact way he described me when we dated. At school he wouldn’t stop taking about him and it hurt me so much but about 2 months later he stopped and started becoming a bit more intimate with me. Timeskip to 4 months after they started dating, now, May 2024. (17M) has been SUPER and I mean SUPER intimate with me. He had only mention his bf twice in the past 3 months and treats me like someone much more than a friend. He talks to me so much nicer than his other friends and hugs me all the time and squeezes me tightly. Every time I have a slight frown on my face, he automatically detects it and starts asking what’s wrong and comforts me. Whenever I bring lunch, we always share from the same bottle or same utensil and he even HAND FEEDS ME. From noodles to oranges to cookies. And he wraps his arms around my waist often during lunch and rest on my shoulder. Or when I hug him in lunch often, since I’m shorter, he likes to caress my head and sometimes move my head onto his chest so I can rest on it. When he brings snacks or chips, he tells everyone only 1 and I ask “how many can I get?” And he’s like “As many as you’d like.” He also always compliments me on my hair especially when I wear it down since I ALWAYS have it in a ponytail. Under the lunch tables, he tends to hold my hand and caress my hand and my thighs. Or when I turn he automatically wraps himself around me or when I lay on his shoulder, he grabs my arms and wraps them around his waist for it to be a more comfortable position for me. He also spent a tremendous amount of money on my birthday but the thing is that he still had interest in his bf. My bsf (16F) were thinking of a way to tell his online bf about all this since we believe it’s cheating but I’m scared it’ll ruin our relationship so my amazing bsf decided to take the blame. Honestly, I have no idea how he feels about me bc my other friend told me about this girl that (17M) is friends with and treats almost the same as me. Not the same but similarly like the excessive hugging or knowing when something’s wrong. He treats me a whole lot better than her by the way and one time we were texting and he randomly sent me A SHIRTLESS PICTURE! I freaked out and then asked about it but he acts like “huh wdym.” I tend to help him with assignments pretty often since I’m pretty intelligent and he always takes care of me like “Don’t stress out please or don’t stay up late or worry.” I remember a couple months ago, like 2 months after we broke up, I asked for his jacket bc I was freezing like hell but he said no bc we have history together and I have a tendency of smelling his things. But the past week he’s lent me his jacket willingly when I say I’m cold like I was zoning out and he’s like “Hey what’s wrong? Talk to me please”and I smiled and said “I’m just really cold and tired” and he said “Uhh the one time I don’t bring my jacket. Don’t worry I’ll bring it tomorrow.” And he hugs me tightly and squeezes me VERY tightly and says “To keep the blood flowing :)” I’m getting so many mixed messages though because he’s a dryer over text although he does say how he’s way better in person at communicating. Sometimes I cry to sleep at the fact he my not like me and find me annoying and that man keeps appearing in my intimate dreams. I would really love any advice you have for me and what you think about how he feels.

Summary and thoughts
ROSTER CONSTRUCTION

• The message is clear with Availability. He brings up the Timberwolves, Thunder, Pacers and Celtics new group and how they play a lot of games. Mentioned about wanting to see the team play more just like these teams. ( Interesting to take note is that the average age of these teams are younger than the Heat [28.2] who is in the top 5 oldest team in the league only behind the Suns, Clippers, Bucks and Sixers who have had injuries of their own as well.] He was critical of the NBA's 65 game rule which allows player to be fine with missing 17 games. He wants 72 games out of his players. In the NBA, not everyone is 100%.
  
• Stressed about the team retooling and never rebuilding/tanking. That's a discussion for another day on whether we should be more open to these things.
  
• Mentions that he's not a fan of the NBA reporting injuries as teams can target those weaknesses in their games.
  
• Mentioned that there 8 tax teams and that the Heat are one of them. They are careful about entering the 1st and 2nd apron which limits roster construction. There are 2 or 3 critical players that they'd go for it and if he's going to handicap the team's future team building it better be the right move. He also mentioned about the importance of depth and how Ray Allen, Shane Battier, Chris Andersen, Mario Chalmers and Udonis Haslem helped them get the job done.
  
• Reflects back on when Lebron left, Bosh's unfortunate medical career ender then Wade left. Brought up how we missed a couple of times (Interesting to note that we we went 41-41 in one of the missed playoff years because of the tie breaker so one losing season before we got Jimmy. The one losing season was Wade's farewell tour.)
  
• The last 5 years were great (2 finals appearances, 1 ECF and 2 1st round exits). He believes in this group and mentioned that it could have been 2 back to back finals appearances if Jimmy made that 3 against Boston. He believes that if the core doesn't get it done in 5 years, then there must be changes to be made as the core of Butler, Bam and Herro enters year 6 but just wants to see a consistent rotation. It's hard to evaluate this team as a whole when they all miss games and fail to build continuity. (We did see different alterations of this core with Dragic, got Lowry and we made the ECF and Finals in his 2 years with us and now Rozier. Some good productive players in Nunn, Olynyk, Iguodala, Crowder, PJ and now Love.)
  
• He praised Boston and Brad Stevens. He's well aware of how Boston on how good Boston was as he watched the replay at the bar then his sleeping medication kicked in and went to bed then woke up and prepared for this exit meeting.
  

JIMMY BUTLER

• They mentioned that Jimmy Butler can request the extension when his window opens just like how he's always done in the past. There is no pressure on this and mentions that his last extension was given to him. They haven't made a decision on this as he still has a year left on his contract and they don't have to decide now. Either they accept or we're going to think about it as they haven't made a decision. Mentions that Jimmy Butler has 2 years left if he opts in to his player option.
  
• The reporter mentions that he has not played more than 64 games ever since arriving on the team (meaning he's not even meeting the NBA's 65 game rule) and him missing games on crucial games. His availability for the regular season has already been discussed with his agent Bernie Lee last year and he won't get into detail about it. It's clear that Pat Riley wants more from Jimmy.
  
• If the non-Jimmy and non-Bam assets are not enough to get a quality player in return, is the team open to considering trade Jimmy? No, not right now.
  
• He's confident that Jimmy Butler is still 1A but just like anybody else and just like him and Spo, Butler also has to make adjustments on his overall routine and approach to the game. (He's a great playoff performer but he also has to show up in the regular season where sometimes he can be too passive and hopefully he realizes that shooting the 3 for the win doesn't help the team. I love that he's shooting the 3 more but that's not the shot I want at the end of games.)
  
• He's not happy about Jimmy Butler on his trolling about beating the Celtics and Knicks if he was playing. (I think it's just frustration on Pat Riley because he believes we can beat them. As the reporter mentions, it's tough to think in hypotheticals. "Don't talk it if you can't back it up" is what I got from this. I guess they just have a different approach on this.)
  

BAM ADEBAYO

• High praise for Bam. He believes he's already an All NBA player and they are happy to have him here. Mentioned about him expanding his game more and he should sit with coach and listen on what areas he can work on more. He brought up Magic Johnson who told him that they need to change some things and that he had to improve his outside shooting at the time when the league wasn't shooting that many 3 pt shots.

JAIME JAQUEZ AND NIKOLA JOVIC

• Jaime and Jovic are great pieces and look to be part of the future. Brought up Jovic's back issues in his rookie season. His learning is off the charts and loved what he saw this past season. It's about just repetition, learning and more cardio. Great rebounder and a coast to coast guy. He also loves Jaime Jaquez. If he hadn't gotten hurt, he'd have played the full 82 games not just 75. He did mention he had a rookie wall after the groin injury and different it can be hard to overcome over the course of the season with the changing roles. Likes that they've done a great job on building through the draft with Bam, Herro, Jovic and Jaquez. They like their base. They like these guys a lot.

TYLER HERRO

• When asked about Herro, right off the gate, he said that he's been fragile. (It's something you don't say if you're trying to raise his trade value even though it's well known). He appreciates that he's gotten stronger and puts the time in. He's gotten stronger but has some work to do and there are adjustments to be made. His major injuries are real. Says it's tough to handle the assignment against Boston with Butler and Rozier out. Hopes that one day he can come and get through a full season. He mentions James Worthy had injuries in his rookie and second year seasons and was able to get over it. Sometimes these things just happen with players. (James Worthy played 77 and 82 games his first 2 years so I don't know what he was talking about here.)

DUNCAN ROBINSON

• Liked what he saw for stepping up when Tyler Herro went down but mentions that he wants to see the team play together more and see this team healthy. 72 games that's what he wants to see. He also mentions that they have do something in the weight room, nutrition and mental health. They will do whatever it takes to see what they can control to make it happen.

UDONIS HASLEM

• Mentions that he looks good on NBATV and ESPN. Him and Mike Miller are funny as hell on his podcast and said half of his stories were a lie.
  
• He disagrees with Udonis Haslem about his Tyler Herro comments and thinks he should have kept that to himself. He thinks Herro's a starter but ultimately it's up to Spoelstra to decide. (I think Pat Riley is well aware of Herro's limitations but just because he think's he a starter doesn't mean he also thinks he's on the same conversation with Luka, Trae and SGA.
  

TERRY ROZIER

• No concerns on Terry Rozier's neck injury. Mentioned that Terry Rozier was wearing a neck brace and said that the doctors tell them that it will heal with time. He believes in Terry Rozier. He showed in games that he is everything he expected.

ERIK SPOELSTRA

• Stresses that Erik Spoelstra deserves the contract they gave him. He believes in continuity and stability. He also mentions that he commands great respect from players all over the NBA on how he gives some players career years and opportunities.
  
• Mentioned that Spoelstra should take a deep dive on the offense and defense. We were 21st in offense and 5th in defense. But more than these ranks, we should take note on the little things on where we rank in close outs, contests, block outs, loose balls and charges. These are things we must focus on if we don't win the transition game.
  

Hi,my name is JJPM. Im originally from Oak Cliff,Dallas,Texas(ive been there for 18 Years). I have a Mom,Dad,Brother,Sister,Aunt,Cousins,Uncle,and only 1 Person that i consider a True/Best Friend. I guess MY life started to go down when i was little. Not sure why they fought but my Mom and Dad did and she left soon after with my Sister and i didnt see her again till later in my life. My dad was physically abusive to me and my brother,not all the time but when he did,he did. Then sometime when i was between Elementary-Middle School someone who was my dads friend (a Woman) came into my life and she became a Mother to me,along with HER daughter who became like a Sister to me (and as of Now i still consider her my sister and vice versa). But my dad and the Woman were on&off (mostly cause of my dad) and she was in and out of my life. During my School Years i felt like a loser and was lonely pretty much with no real friends,even in Highschool when i joined the Football Program i was still a loser and never got along with MOST of my Teammates (besides a FEW) with the only REAL connections being my Coachs. But i guess i wasnt truly alone/by myself because i was VERY close to 2 of my OLDER cousins,when i first met them i was in Highechool so they would be in their late teens/Early 20's,idk,(as of me writing this im 20 and their 25 and 27 i believe). Idk how or why we became so close but they were people i looked up to and loved so much (not like Alabama)and them back,to give you an Example they would invite me to places when they had no reason to other than out of the kindness of their heart(their own boyfriends place for all of us to Hang Out,including in the holidays. Anime Conventions. And would ask me if i would like to hang out). But i was very immature with them,i never did anything crazy but i would act/do stuff that would make them either keep their distance from me or cut me from their life. During one of my Teen Birthdays (i dont remember which one) my dads friends daughter drank some big bottle of beer with one of her friends (i think) and my dad,along with my aunt confronted her but im not sure WHY she did it but she try to struck my aunt and it just turned to a whole thing. Because of that my family and my dads friends family never got along and thats when i believe things went down for the 2nd Time in my Life. After that things were ALRIGHT to say the least,My Dad had started a Relationship with a MUCH younger woman who was the niece of our neighbor,i still kept in contact with my dads friend/their daughter but my Aunts side of the Family really didnt like me doing it (but i felt like it would be wrong to cut them,especially since they had always been good to me,even after all that),but overall things were normal. But even after all that my dad still hadnt change and even though he didnt abuse me as much because i was now bigger he still fought with me and treated my brother wrong ALONG with the Younger Woman. So i stepped up to him more than ever and that made things more tense between us than they already were. So this part of the story is when i considered my life went down for the 3rd time in my life. It was 2020 and im pretty sure it was down for everyone but still. I dont remember how or why other than a disagreement and misunderstanding on MY part but because of those 2 my cousins had cut me off from their life for the 1st time and it REALLY devastated me (soon after that i had met my 1st Ever Boyfriend,now Ex and things went pretty good from there). After a couple of weeks i had decided to walk/run at a Park near me in the Middle Of The Night and so i went but for WHATEVER reason my Dad thought i was doing some BAD and called/picked me up to "confront" me and because he was saying stuff that made me look like the bad guy i attacked him,nothing serious just TRIED to scratch his face,and so because of that he stopped the car,called the police on me,and got me sent to jail. My time in Jail i guess would be the right way to put it was very traumatic,i was only in there for a Week cause it was my 1st Time and because it was my 1st Time my first offense was expunged but still. After i got out of jail i called my dads friend to help me out and she gladly did but it was only for a little while because i had to go BACK with my dad or SOMEONE my dad approved of because at the time i was 17 and CPS was called and they said i couldnt stay with them so they had me stay with ANOTHER female friend of my dad. And my time with her was alright but very unpleasent. They werent bad people by any means but they were republican and i felt very uncomfortable. But throughout all that my then Boyfriend helped me through all of it and i had planed to Visist him/meet him in person for the 1st time in San Antonio. Later in early 2021 i believe i was kicked out of my dads friends house because of how i was unmessy and she couldnt take it anymore. So when she dropped me off with my dad he was said cause of what he did and wanted to make ammends with me and i relunctantly accepeted it cause i had nowhere else to go by then and things went alright between us from then on. Now its late 2021 either in the summer or fall,i had saved up to visit my 1st Boyfriend(now Ex) and my 1st time with him in person was one of my happiest moments with him. When i had came back from San Antonio things were pretty good. But a couple of Weeks after i came back is when my life had gone down for the 4th time. I don't remember exactly when it happened but I was at home eating and my brother had come back from work and he must have had a bad day or something because when I greeted him he gave me attitude and so I did what everyone else has told me to do when someone is bad to me and either i don't talk to them,don't interact with them,or don't be in the same room with them. But when i did he started talking shit and so we both fought and afterwarfs he called the police on me. Now at the time i couldve just snatched the phone from him or ran when he did call the police. But I was pretty confident that I wouldn't be in any trouble so I stayed to prove my innocence. So after he did that my dad and the younger woman came home and we told them what happened and so everybody just went to the rooms and the cops eventually did come late at night around 1:00 a.m.. The cops talked to me and my brother and both cops said that my brother was in the wrong and that he had no reason to call the cops for a family matter. But even though they said that they still had to take me in because I had just turned 18 at the time and he was technically a minor being 17 or 16 I don't remember. So for the second time in my life a family member call the cops on me and sent me to jail. And this time the Chargers were more serious, so I had called my Dad's friend to help me out, and apparently while I was in jail my dad was going to help me but he was going to have me be in jail for a month or two to "teach me a lesson". So after my Dad's friend got me out of jail I stayed with her and I was going to stay with her and try to build up my life with her. But during that time, not even a week had passed and for some reason she accused me of fighting my dad over the younger woman. And so because of that accusation I did what she as well as my dad and everyone else has told me and walked out of the apartment she was living at and stayed out for the rest of the night. But for whatever reason she wanted me out of the apartment and basically kick me to the streets. So because of that her daughter had hit up one of my cousins and so i went to live with them and my aunt for a week. Then after that week I had a called my bf(now ex) and told them everything that had happend and so i gathered up my things and went to san antonio to start a new life. Now its 2022 i had just move in with my then bf(now ex) and overall things were pretty good when i was there. We did get into little fights and little arguments but overall it seemed like my life could have gone great. But i was wrong. The house me and my bf(now ex) were living at was his grandpas house and his brother was there too. His Grandpas had started to get sick and eventually was put in Hospice and past away soon afterwards. And after that happend it must have really hit my bf(now ex) hard because soon afterwards me and him were scrambling to find somewhere to live cause all of this was so sudden and for him it was a big change. Not JUST because his grandpa died,but because his own world had ended and had to face challenges he himself didnt have to face/worry about before. To the best of my memory it was like for him his world completely turned upside down. Luckily for BOTH of us me and him were able to live with his dads girlfriend in New Braunfels in a room she rented to us and it would have been a blessing if she didnt charge us right away,making us have debt with her. But once we dealt with that he broke down,rightfully so and i was there to console him and all that. We both got jobs and started to settle in afterwards. But i can tell my bf(now ex) was shaken by it. Especially when one night he told me that he wanted to move out to a hotel and eventually back to San Antonio and for WHATEVER reason he said he would do it with or WITHOUT me and i broke down crying and convulsing because he wanted to ditch me even though we were BOTH going through all this,but he went back to his senses so me and him decided to do just that. So we did,and after 2022 ended me and him moved to a motel in the beginning of 2023 and started saving up to get an apartment back in San Antonio. During this time he he started drinking more than usual,to the point where he would pass out and lock me out of the motel and I would get on his ass because of his excessive drinking and what it does. So we fought more. Not to mention he wanted to get a puppy/dog,even though I knew deep down neither me nor him would be responsible to take care of him and all that,but no,he still got the dog regardless. So around March or April of 2023 me and him along with the dog eventually moved back to San Antonio into an apartment. And I was feeling pretty hopeful again because I thought that now that we are back in his home City,we had a place of our own,and that he had a pet of his own,hed finally go back to being happy before his Grandpa died. But no for WHATEVER reason he was still sad and got even more depressed than he ever was,to the point where he drank even MORE than what he did in the motel,to the point where he wasn't taking care of the puppy and he had drank himself out of his first job. So of course I got mad at him and I berated him and we both fought. I even tried to contact his family to try to help him with whatever he was dealing with but they were no help throughout all of this in fact I'd say they just let whatever happen. And so because of the state he was in whether drunk or sober,in the summer of 2023 towards the end he started to cheat on me. And his rationale for doing so was because he was young,he didn't want to settle,he wanted to be "free",he wanted to be gay, he wanted to be sexual,and that he said he had no more love for me,for this relationship. And that really threw me off the deep end,to the point where I started being more physical towards him,because of the anguish and sadness and anger I fell for what he did. For how he's ruining the relationship how he doesn't care about me. All that. I contacted whoever I can from my aunt,to both my sisters, to my cousins,my friend,even his family. And you know they did all they could but I had to do something about it myself and that was either move away from him or move back to Dallas. So this is Late 2023,i had just spent a mediiocre thanksgiving and a VERY sad christmas alone. So I went back to Dallas for New Year's Eve and spent a pretty good time with my aunt's side of the family. And during my stay there one of my cousins suggested that me and her could move in and I want to make this very clear she had suggested and I had asked her multiple times if she was serious / if it's possible and all the times she had told me yes. So with that confirmation on my way back to San Antonio I had told my then boyfriend(now ex) that I finally accepted the breakup and he was more than happy to hear that,though in a very "finally🙄" attituted. So remember that cousin I mentioned?, well now it's early February of 2024 and out of nowhere she sent me a text saying that she might buy a vehicle and that she might go to college and won't have enough funds for me and her to move in together and even though now she didn't end up getting the vehicle or college I was pretty upset and lashed out on her and now me and her are not on talking terms for the moment. So now because of that I made the choice to be 20% homeless, the reason Im choosing to be homeless is because I want to try and do this 3 year plan where this year I'm going to try and save up for a motorcycle and if that ends up successful I'm going to save up and take CDL classes so I can have better job opportunities and then after that I'm going to save up and move to Austin to try and start a new third life. Oh and the other percentage of why im homeless,70% is on my Ex and 10% is because of my cousin
Im ok physically besides being fat,im gonna try and work out
Im ok financially,i have no worries ill be able to buy/pay all that i need
But im so tired MENTALLY,tired of ALL that i had to deal with and STILL have to push through for WHATEVER reason
Im tired socailly because it seems like ALMOST everyone that i ever loved either cant or dont care about me. And I'mma try to make connections so I don't feel isolated/lonely but I know of my current situation I won't be able to make meaningful connections (I think)
Emotionally im so sad for how my life has turned out now and how its been up to this point. I feel so hopeless like my life can only get sadder and that there is no love or stability for me. And that if there is it will require me to be by myself. I want to be angry but I know if I do I'll seem like the bad guy
How do i keep going on?

Hi,my name is Jose Jorge Perez Martinez. Im originally from Oak Cliff,Dallas,Texas(ive been there for 18 Years). I have a Mom,Dad,Brother,Sister,Aunt,Cousins,Uncle,and only 1 Person that i consider a True/Best Friend. I guess MY life started to go down when i was little. Not sure why they fought but my Mom and Dad did and she left soon after with my Sister and i didnt see her again till later in my life. My dad was physically abusive to me and my brother,not all the time but when he did,he did. Then sometime when i was between Elementary-Middle School someone who was my dads friend (a Woman) came into my life and she became a Mother to me,along with HER daughter who became like a Sister to me (and as of Now i still consider her my sister and vice versa). But my dad and the Woman were on&off (mostly cause of my dad) and she was in and out of my life. During my School Years i felt like a loser and was lonely pretty much with no real friends,even in Highschool when i joined the Football Program i was still a loser and never got along with MOST of my Teammates (besides a FEW) with the only REAL connections being my Coachs. But i guess i wasnt truly alone/by myself because i was VERY close to 2 of my OLDER cousins,when i first met them i was in Highechool so they would be in their late teens/Early 20's,idk,(as of me writing this im 20 and their 25 and 27 i believe). Idk how or why we became so close but they were people i looked up to and loved so much (not like Alabama)and them back,to give you an Example they would invite me to places when they had no reason to other than out of the kindness of their heart(their own boyfriends place for all of us to Hang Out,including in the holidays. Anime Conventions. And would ask me if i would like to hang out). But i was very immature with them,i never did anything crazy but i would act/do stuff that would make them either keep their distance from me or cut me from their life. During one of my Teen Birthdays (i dont remember which one) my dads friends daughter drank some big bottle of beer with one of her friends (i think) and my dad,along with my aunt confronted her but im not sure WHY she did it but she try to struck my aunt and it just turned to a whole thing. Because of that my family and my dads friends family never got along and thats when i believe things went down for the 2nd Time in my Life. After that things were ALRIGHT to say the least,My Dad had started a Relationship with a MUCH younger woman who was the niece of our neighbor,i still kept in contact with my dads friend/their daughter but my Aunts side of the Family really didnt like me doing it (but i felt like it would be wrong to cut them,especially since they had always been good to me,even after all that),but overall things were normal. But even after all that my dad still hadnt change and even though he didnt abuse me as much because i was now bigger he still fought with me and treated my brother wrong ALONG with the Younger Woman. So i stepped up to him more than ever and that made things more tense between us than they already were. So this part of the story is when i considered my life went down for the 3rd time in my life. It was 2020 and im pretty sure it was down for everyone but still. I dont remember how or why other than a disagreement and misunderstanding on MY part but because of those 2 my cousins had cut me off from their life for the 1st time and it REALLY devastated me (soon after that i had met my 1st Ever Boyfriend,now Ex and things went pretty good from there). After a couple of weeks i had decided to walk/run at a Park near me in the Middle Of The Night and so i went but for WHATEVER reason my Dad thought i was doing some BAD and called/picked me up to "confront" me and because he was saying stuff that made me look like the bad guy i attacked him,nothing serious just TRIED to scratch his face,and so because of that he stopped the car,called the police on me,and got me sent to jail. My time in Jail i guess would be the right way to put it was very traumatic,i was only in there for a Week cause it was my 1st Time and because it was my 1st Time my first offense was expunged but still. After i got out of jail i called my dads friend to help me out and she gladly did but it was only for a little while because i had to go BACK with my dad or SOMEONE my dad approved of because at the time i was 17 and CPS was called and they said i couldnt stay with them so they had me stay with ANOTHER female friend of my dad. And my time with her was alright but very unpleasent. They werent bad people by any means but they were republican and i felt very uncomfortable. But throughout all that my then Boyfriend helped me through all of it and i had planed to Visist him/meet him in person for the 1st time in San Antonio. Later in early 2021 i believe i was kicked out of my dads friends house because of how i was unmessy and she couldnt take it anymore. So when she dropped me off with my dad he was said cause of what he did and wanted to make ammends with me and i relunctantly accepeted it cause i had nowhere else to go by then and things went alright between us from then on. Now its late 2021 either in the summer or fall,i had saved up to visit my 1st Boyfriend(now Ex) and my 1st time with him in person was one of my happiest moments with him. When i had came back from San Antonio things were pretty good. But a couple of Weeks after i came back is when my life had gone down for the 4th time. I don't remember exactly when it happened but I was at home eating and my brother had come back from work and he must have had a bad day or something because when I greeted him he gave me attitude and so I did what everyone else has told me to do when someone is bad to me and either i don't talk to them,don't interact with them,or don't be in the same room with them. But when i did he started talking shit and so we both fought and afterwarfs he called the police on me. Now at the time i couldve just snatched the phone from him or ran when he did call the police. But I was pretty confident that I wouldn't be in any trouble so I stayed to prove my innocence. So after he did that my dad and the younger woman came home and we told them what happened and so everybody just went to the rooms and the cops eventually did come late at night around 1:00 a.m.. The cops talked to me and my brother and both cops said that my brother was in the wrong and that he had no reason to call the cops for a family matter. But even though they said that they still had to take me in because I had just turned 18 at the time and he was technically a minor being 17 or 16 I don't remember. So for the second time in my life a family member call the cops on me and sent me to jail. And this time the Chargers were more serious, so I had called my Dad's friend to help me out, and apparently while I was in jail my dad was going to help me but he was going to have me be in jail for a month or two to "teach me a lesson". So after my Dad's friend got me out of jail I stayed with her and I was going to stay with her and try to build up my life with her. But during that time, not even a week had passed and for some reason she accused me of fighting my dad over the younger woman. And so because of that accusation I did what she as well as my dad and everyone else has told me and walked out of the apartment she was living at and stayed out for the rest of the night. But for whatever reason she wanted me out of the apartment and basically kick me to the streets. So because of that her daughter had hit up one of my cousins and so i went to live with them and my aunt for a week. Then after that week I had a called my bf(now ex) and told them everything that had happend and so i gathered up my things and went to san antonio to start a new life. Now its 2022 i had just move in with my then bf(now ex) and overall things were pretty good when i was there. We did get into little fights and little arguments but overall it seemed like my life could have gone great. But i was wrong. The house me and my bf(now ex) were living at was his grandpas house and his brother was there too. His Grandpas had started to get sick and eventually was put in Hospice and past away soon afterwards. And after that happend it must have really hit my bf(now ex) hard because soon afterwards me and him were scrambling to find somewhere to live cause all of this was so sudden and for him it was a big change. Not JUST because his grandpa died,but because his own world had ended and had to face challenges he himself didnt have to face/worry about before. To the best of my memory it was like for him his world completely turned upside down. Luckily for BOTH of us me and him were able to live with his dads girlfriend in New Braunfels in a room she rented to us and it would have been a blessing if she didnt charge us right away,making us have debt with her. But once we dealt with that he broke down,rightfully so and i was there to console him and all that. We both got jobs and started to settle in afterwards. But i can tell my bf(now ex) was shaken by it. Especially when one night he told me that he wanted to move out to a hotel and eventually back to San Antonio and for WHATEVER reason he said he would do it with or WITHOUT me and i broke down crying and convulsing because he wanted to ditch me even though we were BOTH going through all this,but he went back to his senses so me and him decided to do just that. So we did,and after 2022 ended me and him moved to a motel in the beginning of 2023 and started saving up to get an apartment back in San Antonio. During this time he he started drinking more than usual,to the point where he would pass out and lock me out of the motel and I would get on his ass because of his excessive drinking and what it does. So we fought more. Not to mention he wanted to get a puppy/dog,even though I knew deep down neither me nor him would be responsible to take care of him and all that,but no,he still got the dog regardless. So around March or April of 2023 me and him along with the dog eventually moved back to San Antonio into an apartment. And I was feeling pretty hopeful again because I thought that now that we are back in his home City,we had a place of our own,and that he had a pet of his own,hed finally go back to being happy before his Grandpa died. But no for WHATEVER reason he was still sad and got even more depressed than he ever was,to the point where he drank even MORE than what he did in the motel,to the point where he wasn't taking care of the puppy and he had drank himself out of his first job. So of course I got mad at him and I berated him and we both fought. I even tried to contact his family to try to help him with whatever he was dealing with but they were no help throughout all of this in fact I'd say they just let whatever happen. And so because of the state he was in whether drunk or sober,in the summer of 2023 towards the end he started to cheat on me. And his rationale for doing so was because he was young,he didn't want to settle,he wanted to be "free",he wanted to be gay, he wanted to be sexual,and that he said he had no more love for me,for this relationship. And that really threw me off the deep end,to the point where I started being more physical towards him,because of the anguish and sadness and anger I fell for what he did. For how he's ruining the relationship how he doesn't care about me. All that. I contacted whoever I can from my aunt,to both my sisters, to my cousins,my friend,even his family. And you know they did all they could but I had to do something about it myself and that was either move away from him or move back to Dallas. So this is Late 2023,i had just spent a mediiocre thanksgiving and a VERY sad christmas alone. So I went back to Dallas for New Year's Eve and spent a pretty good time with my aunt's side of the family. And during my stay there one of my cousins suggested that me and her could move in and I want to make this very clear she had suggested and I had asked her multiple times if she was serious / if it's possible and all the times she had told me yes. So with that confirmation on my way back to San Antonio I had told my then boyfriend(now ex) that I finally accepted the breakup and he was more than happy to hear that,though in a very "finally🙄" attituted. So remember that cousin I mentioned?, well now it's early February of 2024 and out of nowhere she sent me a text saying that she might buy a vehicle and that she might go to college and won't have enough funds for me and her to move in together and even though now she didn't end up getting the vehicle or college I was pretty upset and lashed out on her and now me and her are not on talking terms for the moment. So now because of that I made the choice to be 20% homeless, the reason Im choosing to be homeless is because I want to try and do this 3 year plan where this year I'm going to try and save up for a motorcycle and if that ends up successful I'm going to save up and take CDL classes so I can have better job opportunities and then after that I'm going to save up and move to Austin to try and start a new third life. Oh and the other percentage of why im homeless,70% is on my Ex and 10% is because of my cousin
Im ok physically besides being fat,im gonna try and work out
Im ok financially,i have no worries ill be able to buy/pay all that i need
But im so tired MENTALLY,tired of ALL that i had to deal with and STILL have to push through for WHATEVER reason
Im tired socailly because it seems like ALMOST everyone that i ever loved either cant or dont care about me. And I'mma try to make connections so I don't feel isolated/lonely but I know of my current situation I won't be able to make meaningful connections (I think)
Emotionally im so sad for how my life has turned out now and how its been up to this point. I feel so hopeless like my life can only get sadder and that there is no love or stability for me. And that if there is it will require me to be by myself. I want to be angry but I know if I do I'll seem like the bad guy
How do i keep going on?

I (M32) dont know where to begin. I was raised by my brother and his wife from the age of 15. They adopted my sister and I when our mother started seriously abusing and neglecting us due to mental illness. They also lived in another country at the time, so we had to move there. My brother was 27 and his wife was 25 and they already had a son.
When we were taken into their care, my brother was a freelance writer and his wife, newly graduated with a master's, was a social worker on a basic wage.
Things were okay for the first while. My sister and I attended school and, considering our background and previous trauma, we did well. We both attained the equivalent of a high school diploma after having been truant for over a year while in our mother's care.
Now, here's where things got bad. We came up against financial hardship. We lived in a large apartment in a European capital. While my sister and I were attending school, the benefits system of the country we were living in awarded our guardians a non-means tested allowance. Every parent regardless of income got it. So, when we left school, this allowance was discontinued leading to a large loss of income from our household. My sister and I found it difficult to find work due to language barriers and social/mental health issues stemming from our childhood trauma. I was 18 and my sister was 17 at this point.
Our home life started to slowly disintegrate. Bills piled up, food was scarce, our washing machine broke down, internet, hot water and heating were all cut off and eventually so was our electricity. Keep in mind there was a young child (6yo) in the appartment at that time.
It was never overtly stated, but my sister and I were made, by our carers, to feel responsible for the hardship we were all facing, despite being barely adults, living in a foreign country and victims of childhood trauma.
We eventually got evicted and had to relocate to our home country.
We all stayed living together initially. My sister and I found work and were offered places at college almost instantly. We were able to contribute - and boy did we. My brother and his wife demanded we hand over almost our entire income to them. Eventually my sister took issue with their demands and they kicked her out. I was in college and had less money than her, so less independence. I had also seen what happens when you start advocating for yourself, so was not inclined to rock the boat until I had a more secure position in the world. I made friends and found cheap accommodations and moved out as soon as I could. I've worked my arse off ever since, and, apart from a few months here and there (late stage capitalism sucks) I've been consistently employed and functional. I'm a hospitality worker. I started washing pots and pans and have worked my way up to managing whole restaurants. Ten years of 50+ hrs. You all know the score if you've done it yourself. It's tough, but so am I.
Meanwhile, my brother and his family (2 adults and 2 children at this point) has been evicted numerous times (not the neglected kids fault then is it?). Has been in and out of homeless accommodation and lived in relative poverty since my sister and I stopped living with them.
Up until a few years ago I believed that my sister and I were the cause of my brother's family's instability and have carried horrible guilt because of it, but my relationship with work and the responsibility I've taken for myself has changed my perspective. I've never been in arrears, I've never been evicted. I can and do look after myself. It's hard, but there is no option for me - I have no family home to go back to, no parents to hit up when times are tough. It's all me and when things blow up all I can do is work harder.
Through this entire 17 year shit show, my brother has NEVER had an income. He's a self described freelance writer, but has never earned a penny from it. He has never had a real job in his life. He lives in a deprived area in social housing , so his wife's income can cover the whole.rent. He won't get unemployment money because of his wife's income, but he will get government money for his child and he's fine living that way.
In his 20's however, he did have a rich dad, who was more than happy to fund his writing career and a move to foreign country. In fact, every time there was money related hardship, he would simply hit up the bank of dad. To this day he boasts that he's never borrowed a penny in his life - yeah, you had a parent who was well off!
So, over the years I've grown to resent the fact that my brother has never had a job, has taken thousands and thousands of pounds in handouts from his father and put everyone he let depend on him through hellish financial and social turmoil and not once did he think to himself "Maybe I should get a job 🤔". He likes to boast that he's "avoided paying taxes his entire life", like it's a flex.
It would be none of my business if he had never signed papers taking responsibility for my care. It would be none of my business, but he exploited me for money. It would be none of my business, but he undermined and derided my sister andI I when we started thinking about sensible career paths.
In my family, following your dreams and living a meaningful and interesting life is a greater priority than anything, but the only one who has been brought up in world where that was an option, via privilege, was my brother. There's more, so much more. I'll probably have to add to this post later on.
I hate the choices my brother has made. I hate the fact that he let his family suffer and never bothered his arse. I hate how resources were constantly redirected to fund his bullshit writing when my sister and I needed shoes or dentistry.
I've barely spoken to him this past year. I'm now the same age he was when we moved back home from abroad and I can't imagine letting the people I love go through what he let us all go through.
I am not a writer. I'm a chef, a bartender, a barista, a server, and a restaurant manager. I've fought very hard for what little I have and if I had dependants I'd fight even harder.
I need help making sense of all this, please ask questions. I've never put this down in writing before and this is very much a transcription of my frazzled brain. I can't help but feeling like I'm the asshole for feeling this way, but when I look back at my teenage years and early adulthood I just see the carnage left in the wake of one privelaged white guy "following his dreams".

So U/Hiding-adept made a post earlier about shoe lifts and then u/sexyloser1128 and I got to talking in the comments and he requested I post my response to himas an actual post on the sub so that more people can see it.
He asked something along the lines of “If you’re frauding 3+ inches, what do you do you do when you get to their house and have to take them off”
My response (bear with me):
“So a few things about that: first, ALWAYS sit down and take them off so that you don’t visually drop down in front of her eyes. Thats a turnoff. But that said, yeah, you’ll have to take them off at some point. Here’s how i think of finessing the situation:
In my case, i’ve been described as charasmatic and funny by plenty of people, definitely can bring energy to a room, but can also be really chill, emotionally intuitive, not exactly a “Tom Cruise” face, but no major deformities or standout-ugly physical attributes, full head of coily hair, at 5’6 im 140lbs lean mass so not huge but you definitely can see a little muscle if im wearing a well-fitting shirt. So all that to say we all know the 5’6 aspect is the biggest killer. So i would rather fraud 5’10 which allows for them to see and be attracted to other qualities first. And then, when we’ve bonded a little, I would let her see me without lifts. That allows me a chance to actually be seen as attractive because we all know that having a ton of great characteristics does very little for attraction if the first thing she thought was “he’s short”.
The thing about people in general is that we really dont like the feeling of being wrong or having made a wrong decision. Its why alot of people will argue an incorrect point even after being proven wrong. In the dating market, this hardwired way that we think greatly helps tall men but hurts short men. Because her thinking “he’s attractive” vs “he’s unattractive” when she initially met you will have a huge impact on how it plays out from there. (Blah blah halo effect blah) Ever notice how a guy seems to be shit but she stays with him, its in part because admitting shes wrong is rather difficult, internally. The reverse is true for someone she initially thought was unattractive but then reveals himself to have plenty of attractive qualities. She’s still less likely to suddenly see you as attractive because she already deemed you as unattractive. This is especially hard if she already verbally said you were unattractive (esp in front of her friends) because now she would have to admit she was initially wrong, which is an inherently unattractive sensation to feel. Its easier for her to just chalk it up as a loss and find a new person to be into. Obviously there are exceptions, like a “hot” guy could immediately go kick a cat or something and she’ll be turned off, but he has to actively do overtly-unattractive things to ‘change her mind’.
So how this ties back into the “noticable drop” when taking off shoes, if she already has you in her mind as someone attractive, taking off the lifts won’t do as much damage to her “image” of you than if she had to ‘decide’ her attraction to you while seeing your real height, without knowing you. Now shes thinking “well he’s really funny, and he remembers things abt me, and i like being around him, etc..” and then she has to decide if she wants to be okay with a few inches difference. Instead of her thinking “Wow. Short. No.” and never even taking the good characteristics into consideration because “he’s short”.
Its all about (1) the psychology, (2) how/when you first take off those lifts, and (3) most importantly, how you got her to feel about you. Typically her decision on a guy is based of how she feels, not whats “most logical”.
If that makes sense.”
Some additional info not in that comment:
I would suggest still only selecting women who would still be shorter than your barefoot height. That way,for her its just the difference of how much taller you are than her rather than the difference of you being shorter than her vs taller than her. That’s a whole different level.
I’d also suggest boots be part of the heightfraud if you’re going 3 inches or more. Most people dont know what an inch is tbh so if you use boots (with lifts in them) then when you take them off it’ll look like the whole height change was due to boots and you dont even need to mention lifts. You can also just say that the boots lift you up like 1-1.5 inches even though its really like 4 inches. Most people aren’t going to realize its over doible what you said.
Hope this helps someone.

(I only did this for fun because I don't think he's gonna do this one. The guy's a legend!)
Producer Guy: So, you have a Sonic spin-off for me?
Screenwriter Guy: Yes sir, I do. It starts off after the 2nd movie, right?
PG: Oh, right, Tails and Knuckles chose to stay with Sonic and they're a team now! I bet we're gonna see Sonic and Tails too, right?
SG: Oh you know it, sir!
PG: Nice!
SG: Eheheh, so briefly sir. Just the briefest!
PG: What?
SG: Well, we're gonna start off with Knuckles having trouble adjusting to life on Earth. Like, he just assaults construction workers who come to their house and kidnaps their mailman!
PG: Oh, samesies!
SG: What?
PG: And is he gonna learn to adjust better as he spends more time with the Wachowskis, a little Sonic and Tails, and maybe even that Wade character?
SG: One of those is right, sir! So Knuckles gets grounded by Maddie because of his multiple felonies, right? Then he's gonna summon the ghost of his tribe chief, Pachacamac, to get some advice!
PG: Oh ok, and how does he summon the ghost of Pac-Man in a way that doesn't get us hit with a lawsuit?
SG: Oh no, sir, it's not-
PG: And while you're at it, tell me how Pac-Man became the leader of a tribe of echidna warriors who got murdered by Sonic's owl mom.
SG: Sir, it's not Pac-Man! It's Pachacamac!
PG: Oh well, I'll probably get it right later. So how is he able to summon him?
SG: I don't know!
PG: Fair enough!
SG: So Pachamacac tells Knuckles that he should train an apprentice so he can find purpose while there are no battles to fight, and Knuckles decides to sneak out and go train Wade!
PG: I remember Wade was a stupid goofball in the movies, so it's gonna be fun watching Knuckles train him in all his warrior ways!
SG: Oh no no no no no no no.
PG: What?
SG: Well, the truth is, a lot of Knuckles' screen time is gonna be spent listening to other characters talk while occasionally making some funny jokes about violence and death in between!
PG: What are you talking about?
SG: And really, the show is gonna shift its focus to Wade's story arc!
PG: So the titular character's arc isn't the driving story arc in his own show?
SG: Nope!
PG: Well . . . I guess it could at least be fun as long as Wade's plot lines are fun, so tell me what it is.
SG: He got kicked off his bowling team by a 10-year-old girl and now he has to get to nationals!
PG: . . . So we have a popular Sonic character that lots of people liked in the last movie, a comic relief character that was irrelevant in the movies, a series named after the first character, and the one with the primary story focus is . . . the second one?
SG: That's right, sir!
PG: Well that works for me! So tell me more about Wade!
SG: Well, Wade was actually estranged from his family! His father abandoned him a long time ago, he hasn't seen his mother in 2 years, and his sister is, you know, the worst!
PG: Oh, she is?
SG: Yeah, I mean, she spends an entire episode insulting him, mocking him, and she stabs him with a fork for pretty much no reason!
PG: Oh, stabbing someone for no reason is tight!
SG: What?
PG: You didn't hear anything . . . right?😠
SG: Oh, geez, sir! No, I surely did not hear that!
PG: Good, now keep going!
SG: Ok, so Knuckles goes with Wade to a bowling alley, right?
PG: Ok, so I imagine the civilians would freak out seeing a red, muscular alien echidna, right?
SG: Not even a little bit!
PG: Why not?
SG: Listen, sir, it didn't matter much in the second movie. I mean, Sonic was out there stopping robberies so I'm gonna need you to get all the way off my back about that!
PG: Ok, let me get off that thing.
SG: So a couple of bad government agents break into the bowling alley using one of Sonic's rings!
PG: How did they get their hands on those things?
SG: Uhhhhh, I forgot!
PG: Oh, whoops!
SG: Whoopsie!
SG: Anyway, these agents are using Knuckles' quills to power their technology to give them his strength, so Knuckles gets captured and taken to a mansion and Wade has to get him out!
PG: Ok, ok, things are picking up now! How's Wade gonna get him out? Is he gonna call Sonic and Tails? You know, Knuckles' superpowered friends who are really fast? I'm sure they know he's gone by now.
SG: Nope!
PG: Why not?
SG: Because this is the Wade Whipple show, not the Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles show!
PG: Wait, whose show?
SG: Uhhhh, never mind! So Wade gets Knuckles out and the 2 of them become fugitives, so they go to hide out with Wade's family!
PG: Wait, that sounds familiar.
SG: No it doesn't.
PG: Oh, ok!
SG: And it turns out these agents are working for this guy called The Buyer, who used to work for Dr. Robotnik, but now he runs this powerful criminal organization, and he wants to buy Knuckles!
PG: Oh, tell me more about this guy and his criminal organization!
SG: No.
PG: Oh, ok.
SG: So Wade gets kidnapped by his friend, a bounty hunter named Jack Sinclair, who wants to collect the price on his head, and Knuckles doesn't help him. He thinks a warrior has to save himself!
PG: Oh man, it's gonna be hard to escape from a bounty hunter for someone like Wade.
SG: Actually, it's gonna be super easy! Barely an inconvenience!
PG: Oh, really? Is he gonna believe in himself?
SG: No, nothing like that. He does a freakin musical!
PG: What?
SG: That's right, sir! He's gonna do the fun way to give out exposition! He's gonna dress up as Knuckles and run us through his life story!
PG: But doesn't that kind of undermine the tragedy of Knuckles being alone for ten years after losing his tribe?
SG: Yeah, but it's gonna be funny and save money on flashbacks without relying on boring exposition dumps!
PG: Oh, I love you so much, my man!
SG: Ok . . . so Wade and Knuckles go to the bowling tournament, right? And it turns out that Wade's dad is there too! He's competing!
PG: Ok, ok, still not sure what this has to do with Knuckles, though.
SG: It doesn't matter, sir! Knuckles is the titular character! That doesn't mean we have to focus on him!
PG: Doesn't it, though?
SG: I don't care! I do not care!
PG: Ok, so what about the villains?
SG: Who?
PG: The villains. You know, the agents and that Buyer guy you mentioned.
SG: Oh, right! Well, they track them down and take Wade's mom and sister hostage, and Wade's dad was in on it!
PG: Oh, very mean dad!
SG: Anyway, so Knuckles and Wade defeat the agents and the Buyer, and Knuckles sets his fists on fire!
PG: Wow, wow, wow...........wow!
SG: I just rhymed, sir!
PG: Yeah, you did!
SG: And that's it, we're done!
PG: Wait, what? Well what about Maddie? She must be pretty pissed that Knuckles disobeyed her and caused all this trouble.
SG: Nope! We're done! We're getting out of here!
PG: Ok, then I gotta ask again why you're giving Wade more focus than the character that fans came to see.
SG: Well, sir, remember that Knuckles is CGI, right? So the less we have him onscreen, the more money you'll save!
PG: . . . This is the Wade show now, you got that?!

Long post ahead , I promise you this might sound made-up but I swear to you it's not. Several lessons ahead, some might be triggering
Check grammar and organize sentences
If this story sounds familiar to you, maybe, you're a friend, do not mention my name or message me about this post.
Long post ahead,
I'm a full time-working single mom. Just left an abusive relationship where the father of my child strangulated me in the neck, slapped me on my face, punched me. He took my phone so that I won't be able to contact anyone for help. He was threatening to end everything, our lives with that knife pointing at me. I had to ran away for my life, ran to the highway crying. Wishing an accident would happen.
Prior to this, the abuse started with calling me names. Then throwing some things, coins, towel, and so on
Sometimes, I think is this all my fault? I was a CS mom but still had to do all of the task, he said just tell him or ask hum he will do it, i always say, that shouldn't always be the case, you're a father now and should have some initiative.
And when I do ask him to do things, he'll take it badly, there's always a reason not for him to do it but when it comes to the gym, with his friends, or mobile legends, he's not tired.
8 months I wasn't able to go out because no one's gonna take care of everything at home, and that moment I said, I'll go out and treat myself to a salon, but it turned out bad that I got out for 8 hours, didn't know it would take that long but it was a saturday, and it was my first time to go out in 8 months.
When I got home, the door was open all the things were messed up, I didn't know what to do , the baby was gone, he wasn't replying, asked helped with my mom and he told my mom that he went to a relative
Fast forward, he said sorry but I was mad, and told him things that he's not ready to hear so he ended up threatening me again, that I had to call for help, my dad and best friend called the police. They came but we fixed it and talked about it and forgave him.
Is it my fault he never bought anything for the child, clothes, shoes, toys. But when it comes to gym memberships, work outings, gadgets-steam deck, switch he has money for it.
He always say that he has no enough money and doesn't have enough salary to save. I asked him to go out eat in a kbqq grill, he said he doesn't have any money for it, but we can go he'll just watch and eat sardines at home, t is okay, for me so I always cover , I don't mind spending more if I earn more as long as you do your part, but the fact he has money, that he was able to save money for himself only. I got mad. Didn't tell him. I fall out of love, endured everything in fear that he'll hurt me again, or himself. I got numb, everything even small one will make me mad, there are times that my anger to my ex was transferred to my child, 😭 i shouted at him and all, but it came to a point, no, this child has to have a happy and trauma free childhood , I don't eant him to see abuse as a normal thing, i want him to do the things he really love and not just out of survival, i wanr him to grow with love, So i have to make a decision, to move out leave him, i know it will be hard but I had to, I'll carry all the burden if I have just make my child happy, that one day he'll say, i love you and so proud of you mom. That he's thankful to have me as his mom.
But he wasn't happy when knew about it, he threatened me if I wasn't gonna move out with him , he'll give me life long trauma, was able to take a video of that.
I was crying, and he asked forgiveness right away, and said we'll just talk about coparenting, then asked if we could do it again for the last time (s*x) be cause he said, he was turned on, by me, crying????? And I knew that moment, i have to leave him
I asked my father for help, since he's living alone and gets lonely, (He and my mom are separated, he did to my mom what I'm experiencing now, plus cheating, plus drugs, plus stealing money from my mom, abuse to me and my brother, to the point he'll tell his friend that my brother died so he can ask for "abuloy" for his vices. I forgave him several times, I'm the only one who talks to him, Fast forward, i asked him to live with me, just watch over my child, I'll give him a business and a car to drive (grab) he's a taxi driver btw, we agreed but he said he's not able to leave his taxi company because of unpaid boundaries, and the police will get him that day if unpaid, i had doubts but i believed that he changed, but i was wrong, when he visited me, and was playing with my kid , i saw several text messages from different loan apps, I said, why he's borrwing money , hed doesn't even have work right now, checked his gcash and boom saw the amount I have sent to his so called boss, minus few hundred which I know he paid the so called boss. I cried and asked him to leave, he saw me at my worst, what my ex was doing to me and he was able to do that now
I searched for an apartment signed a contract, paid 1 adv 2 months deposit but later that day, cancelled because they knew about the location and i didnt know what to do, I asked if I could get a refund, i know I can't since I have signed a contract but at least the deposit or 3 months advance internet I have paid , they said to me to reach out with the admin that itried for weeks and told me they have been sending me thr document for request but didn't receive any. I gave up, used up all of my savings to move to a new place, was really happy with my kid's development, since we moved, i thought my problems will be over but boy i was wrong
I have 4 clients at that time, in different niches, this client a german lady, hired me to do website design (wix), seo, recruitment, social media management, content creation. At the same time, i have no problems with it, but there are weeks I only had to do 4 hours per day for her, I have extended unpaid hours minimum of 4 hours, designing the website alone is a lot of work, and the way she talks, and reaches out to me, is very disrespectful, the first few months, I asked advice from my manager since I don't want to judge it based on my perception only so i let it go, but overtime she was very disrespectful thateven on weekends she'll send me a lot then tell me to enjoy weekend don't work on this, then every bad thing will happen to her end she'll videocall me right away and ask what did i do? Even on her own computer she'll blame everything to me. I don't use my breaks with her as she will call anytime without prior notice, as a single mom, I didn't have time to cheat on work, like sleeping and such, i have work ethic, thats why my response rate is from asap to max 2 minutes, So I have decided to leave with a respectful resignation letter asap even offered 4 weeks services for free for the things she werent satisfied, offered help with the transition, and will deliver pending tasks. But boy, she said to my manager that I was not doing anything, and didn't have any outputs, so I wasn't paid for my last week with her almost 40k/month , gone, in my salary. I was crying , i even gave more hours than I should, i gave my heart to that website and outputs which I have proof of and the time doctor we use to have records of productivity. I didn't argue, for my peace of mind, I said, i forgive her, maybe she's going through something, even prayed for her, while crying because of what happened
Same time , another clients hired me for 4 hours just to repost products from one marketplace to different ones. He was cery polite and kind. The problem was he's not responsive, we only meet once a week at this particular time, since no one knows he's hired an assistant but him, it took him days to reply , but i am proactive and told him that I had challenges with the limitations of the access he gave me and the file, the software can't read it , so i did a lot of recreating the document and retyping information, and since ge wanted to repost some of the products only i had to recreate the file , told him in our email that I could focus on other task ehile waiting to document to work so that the hours are productive, even offered to cover the hours lost so that his money won't just go to waste, i always reached out to him, said to him in an email, Hello please let me know when you are free to recalibrate tasks, also I'm available in this hours 9pm -6am est
Since I was only hired for 4 hours , he asked am I gonna be billed for this, replied him "oh no sorry, you're not gonna be billed during these hours, just letting you know I'm available and could reach in these hours"
He said okay, then no response after that.
My mistake was , I wasn't able to share with my manager that he was unresponsive, focusing on the other client, fsst forward this client didn't want to pay because I havent done anything, which is why I was offering to eork on ther things while waiting for the document (copy from that marketplace) and told him I have worked for it and created some contents so that time will not be wasted but boy, this client told the company that I emailed him that he will not be billed for everything. Showed the company proof, email threads and such, but since the client threaten to report them , even with proof, my cut for that client wasn't paid (almost 20k) and currently paying the remaining till next cut for the salary he paid since. I didn't argue, even if I was called a thief for not telling the company I received salary, which I was expecting since I did work for that guy, the process is also a work , but i told them okay, i know is is evil's work and God has the best things waiting for me, my csm told me what does this two clients have in common, she said me, thats thecproblem is in me, i told her I have work ethic I'm a single mom and has no one to rely on, but gave up , now, remaining client, gave me 3 warnings, becuase ofcthe baby noise background, but was flexible when I did content for him and several other deliverables that made their marketing 100% also I am available anytime when he reaches out to me I respond, i extend 4 hours even when I was only hired for 4 hours, still disappointed at me, he removed one assistant as well who does the same unpaid OT, for the reason he got late because of the heavy rain in Davao and he searched Manila that it wasn't Raining there , without notice.
I tried offering services, online for a steal price, small business online wasn't
I have incoming bills in 5 days, 35k which Is just half or 3rd of my usual salary, can work on the 25k if the company won't cut my salary til next cut , but how and where I can get that, i dont want to loan , i dont want to borrow from anyone,
Prior to all of this and marriage i was independent, i don't want to be a burden to anyone, i was ready to recover, as my savings are all gone, I don't have money with me, my son got sick, his father barely gives anything, 1-2k is already big,
I know I can recover from this, if I'll be able to pay my incoming bills knowing that I have several skills and I am a hardworker,
The only consistent thing that I do is to workout, to keep me sane, but even that I get to skip 2-3 days, I know I can borrow from shopee or similar apos but i don't have valid ids right now which I have been trying to retrieve , ph sucks. Original bill was 18k+3500 but since I owe them 9k almost 35k in all , ehich I can get get from 1 client alone. I'm hope right now, where can I get that money, in 5 days???! My clock is ticking, never slept well, having hallucinations, had to work eith baby's tantrum, I never thought ending my life is an optin since pandemic,
Why God, why me, all I did was to praise you, give people help when I can, share good things with people, I know you have plans with me, i was mentally stable enough to go on but this is the peak, im on a verge, i lvoe my son, i dont know what to do, whatever happens, i hope everyone will understand, I'm just tired, i know I wasn't a good daughter before but you changed me, you made me knew, but why me, why now, why
Please support me by hiring me for my services: Please please: I don't want to give 5 days is still 5 days, If you pay me full in advance, I'll do another service for free, If you'll be able to help me with my bills, I can give several other services for free
Why help me?

• I work with good people, with grrat minds and vision as I am. I don't want these to go to waste, I want to be a part of that less than one percent who changes things, who makes impact, I've been in several rock bottoms, I know breakthrough is wsitting for me.
  I always give back whenever
  
• I work with my heart
  
• I always make sure to give you satisfaction
  
• I adjust based on your preferences
  

I am in several ventures that are just starting that I know will be big in the future.

1. Streetwear brand (Some of our shirts have been worn by local artists like Daniel Padilla, Joe Black, and many more.
2. AI software that will change every company's customer service game. How do you feel about a software that learns everything on your website in just few minutes and can provide all of those information via chat, 24/7? Company owners message me if you like. We offer 1 month trial, no strings attached you can discontinue if you like. For those who like to do digital marketing, you can message me too.
3. I have a 5star online carousell business account, selling items for low, check that out. Most are unused, brand new, or once used.
4. (This is a plan together with a couple friend and his brother) an agency which will be pro employees, pro Filipinos, We all went from rock bottom, have experienced how most local and foreign employers treat us as slaves for working with them, as is we owe their lives to them. We Filipino are not hospitable, we are people pleasers, suck it or not, we don't set boundaries as often as we should. They think that we need them more than they need us. Not setting boundaries feed their egos. It's them who needs our services. Employees make the company grows, and if you want your employee to focus on his timesheet rather than the quality of his work, then you should think twice.

First priority are services I can focused at home, unless you'll also pay for child care
Services: Graphic Design, content creation, video editing, resume creation, presentations, flyers, recruitment, etc
Will send resume and portfolio.

• Can do events that needs heavy lifting or assistance from a fit person.
• Can do fitness coaching/classes (was full time before but now, we can talk about the setup) I would like to work eith moms who are struggling being fit again, I ca n help you physically, emotionally, mentally, etc

Has been featured in several blogs before: been interviewed by Erwann Heussaff
If you just want to send help, or offer a loan, message me too, or hire me to like lead a charity event or such please message me
If you're a scammer, don't try, I did legal as well, I can trace you.
Please, if you're not interested in inquiring about my services, message just to know how I look like or what's my name, please, don't.
PLEASE HIRE ME , I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,
Alam kong imposible na ang pangarapckong maging muse ng ginebra, or housemate ni kuya, or dancer sa ASAP,
Bigay niyo na to, sa mga susugal, sakin muna kayo sumugal huhu, I know I'm someone who can make a big difference in the future, I don't want to be an employee forever, I want to be someone who'll change the game, not just with the business but with everyone whomever I'm gonna work with.
I know God sent someone, hopefully that someone is here.
All things I do, In his name.

My son, 13, is playing in his third year. Last year, he was heavily recruited to play for our leagues competitive/travel ball team. We all had our hesitations, but thought that it would be a good experience for him to have, even if it was just for a year. So, we all agreed and got him going on it.
As soon as he started attending practice, we started noticing that he was coming home with his head in his hands, very emotional. Now, we've struggled a bit with getting him out of his head performance wise, but he's been REALLY working on that and is getting a lot better. Now though, he tells me that the members of his team are bullying him, telling him that he should quit baseball, that he sucks, and that they don't know why he's even on the team. We've brought this up to his coach, as well as a few other concerns, but have been met with silence.
I volunteered to ump some games for him, and the last game I was out in the field. A noticed a few things that really bothered me. First, the team that we were playing looked like a team of complete beginners, and my son's teammates were being punks the whole way through. I had to tell MULTIPLE kids to watch their mouth. Beyond that, they were dancing on the bases, chirping at the other team, talking to one another, joking, etc .. what really got me though is that my son was brought up to pitch the last inning, his very first time throwing from the mound at this distance. I was really proud of how he handled it. He was focused, he took his mistakes in stride, and had great body posture the whole time, despite hitting 2 batters. But the whole time that was happening, HIS OWN TEAMMATES were barking at him.. "Don't hit this batter!" "Try to throw it over the plate this time!" "Want me to come and show you how to throw a ball?"...
I was aghast. How can this be the all-star team? Where is the sportsmanship? Where is the discipline? I was going to talk to the coach after the game (who is also the league president), but he ran off to another game.
All of this, on top of some other issues where his communication with us has been all over the place, has caused some concern for us. After speaking to some other parents after the game, I learned that they had all been told that our league was not a good one to play for because the president hordes players for himself and has no sense of sportsmanship, which might be why the number of kids is so low (there are 4 teams in this age group). In fact, the president's major bragging point is that no team that he has coached has ever lost a game on his field since he started in 2018.... 😳.... How is that a good sign?
I don't know, guys. All my son wants to do is play ball. He is so dedicated to it, practice's every single day, even if he's by himself. He shows up with his head in the game, and is ready to learn, it all of his teammates just seem to want to goof off and harass him. He asked me today to not take him off the team, and that he just is going to try and make this all a lesson about how to fight through adversity, which might be the only way he can get through all this. But I want him to learn skills, and to feel like he is supported by his team.
Is there any recourse we have here? This is the only league within our boundaries, but the one next door has a MUCH more disciplined, supportive, and successful team. Is there any cause that would allow for a player to play outside of boundaries? I just feel at a loss here, and only want for my son to have fun and not lose his love for the game, like it seems all the players who have to play against his team are doing.

 Braxs wakes up in a cold sweat from the nightmare he has been having for the past 3 months the same nightmare that always puts fear into him. It is the same nightmare that he is always running in hearing screams and cries and when he looks up he always sees the thing he is scared of the vortex he doesn't know why but looking at the sky makes him unsettled. As he runs for something behind him that he can't escape from and every time before he wakes up he hears the words “ find the keys”. Braxs gets out of his bed he looks out his window into the vast of space and calms himself down and gets ready for what seems like an ordinary day on his ship with his crew. As he steps out of his room making sure his arm is properly put on he bumps into David. Braxs combat expert as they exchange good morning they go to their stations braxs in the cockpit and David in weapons storage. As Braxs enters the cockpit he hears the usual fight between Maylie and Dex. They are always fighting about something this time Dex took Mayle’s stop in the cockpit and like usual braxs had to end it. The two of you stop the bickering now there is no use in this now get out while I plot a course for the nearest atomic gaser station. Mayle and Dex leave giving each other death stares as they leave Kelly walks in and says wats up with Mr. Robot and Miss Grumpy she says in a sarcastic voice. Braxs chuckles and says are you serious if it's not one thing with them it's a completely different thing. Ke; takes a seat next to braxs as he is plotting a course and notices his eye bags have gotten worse she sighs and looks at Braxs and asks him” Are they getting worse?” Braxs gives her a tried glance and exhales and says” no there not even bothering me anymore” Kelly grabs his hand and looks at him “don't lie to me I can see you eye bags come on braxs I am here talking to me I didn't almost die trying to leave lextens army for you just to keep hiding things from me. I can't help if you don't speak to me the only way for you to get some rest okay” Braxs gives her tried and understanding looks as he lets out a big exhale he tells her about his nightmare and how it's been the same forever and once he finishes kelly gives him a relieved look and worried look about that he finally told her but that his nightmare is so vivid. “ keys? Do you have any idea what that means “ braxs think for a mommet and remembers something Lexten told him awhile ago when Brxs was under the influences of lextens controls it was about a vortex that can be opened with a device and it was called the keys to mothers tears or for short K.T.M.T and the device was split into many pieces because the purpose of it was o open a gateway to the gods and enter their realm. Braxs reclaims this to Kelly who thinks for a while and says well why would you be dreaming of such a horbile thing then if the device is split apart” Braxs does know and gets the course plotted and goes to his room to think about what all this could mean. 

Braxs drifts off from his tiredness and finds himself in his nightmare again everything happens but this time he sees what comes out of the vortex and what he sees puts fear into him and what he sees is a man walking out of the vortex and the man has a look of sinister and he walks down and a giant bright light expelling into the sky. The screams stopped and the man walked to braxs in a calm but strong way the man grabbed braxs by the neck lifted him in the air and said “See you soon braxs and let's see if you beat my game Hahahaha” And braxs woke up on the ground in his room with one of his hands rubbing his neck and signs and goes to take a shower to clean his sweat cover boat from fear and he keep hearing voices and it starts getting louder and under they are all saying “ FIND THE KEYS AND FIND THE LIGHT FIND THE KEYS AND FIND THE LIGHT” and they stop braxs goes to his bed. Braxs takes a pill that lets him sleep but cuts off his emotions and stops the nightmares He falls asleep and gets much-needed rest from his nightmares and the voices. As Brax awakens in his room, he notices something feels off as if he is being watched and it's not a good feeling. As braxs was sitting feeling odd he heard his voice but not from his mouth but from his head as braxs jumped his voice chuckled and said “ Oh my is the strong leader of this little rebellion scared.” Braxs replied,” Show yourself NOW voice!!” The voice takes form into braxs vision and as he does He looks choked as in front of him is standing himself but with black his sclera is black and his eyes are red this is a form of braxs giving up and letting his demons and fear take hold on himself. Brax in a calm but hesitant voice says: w-w-what are you?” The voice chuckled again deepening his voice and saying” I am what makes a man fear the dark and himself I am the thing a man can never get rid of…..hahaha….I am guilty I am darkness I am BRAXTEN your demon that you made!!!....HAHAHAHAHAH” Braxs For the first time in a while was scared and had feared but he calmed down and said” Whatever you are doing care you will not stop me I am not going to let my head play tricks on me you are not real!!” Braxs closes his eyes breathes in and out and opens them and Braxten is gone Braxs get flashbacks to when he last felt that way.” it was 4 years ago…..and yet I still fear him I can't I need to stop this I can't choke when we fight him if I do I am costing my team there lives…..if lexten finds us….. I won't choke I will end everyone suffering once I see him……My “father” will die when he attacks us…” As braxs leaves his room he sees David cleaning the weapons and Maylie looking in old history files of the K.T.M.T to see if they can find it cause if lexten told braxs about lexten defiantly wants it that can't be good for the world if he gets his hands on it and gets to the gods who know what he could do. Braxs is angry that Maylie and Dex eavesdropped on his conversation with Kelly yesterday but lets it slide since she doing something useful to stop lexten. As they look through they find a section that says there is a dead sun solar system that there was a planet that was destroyed and most of it survived and now just floats in the void of space and that the activater to K.T.M.T is on it. Braxs is concerned because when a sun becomes dead a creature forms on any rock in that dead sun location that creature will eat anything and nest in in boulders to make more offspring. Maylie gets the idea of braxs getting reconnected to THE ONE a god that was once braxs Vishnu as braxs was his Avatar but a while ago The One broke their connection after braxs disobeyed an order and left braxs powerless. Braxs thought about it and decided he would try as he laid down in a tub full of warm water and chanted The one message” The one I call upon you the weaver of destiny and fate I what a word with you it me your Avatar” As Braxs vision closed his mind woke up in the domain of the one. The one Speaks in a strong voice” Braxs you are not my avatar you once were but you disobeyed me and I will not tolerate disobedience…..But I do and a choice for you I will reconnect us but only IF you will follow my orders and not go on using them from something I tell you not to mess with understand?” Braxs takes a minute to think getting K.T.M.T is very important so he agrees “OK I agree but I want you to stop watching me and hovering over me and let me use this power to get K.T.M.T activator from a dead sun “ The one thinks he needs an avatar and braxs is not asking for much and asking to do more heroism so the one snaps and braxs wakes up and see if he is reconnected he use activates his pure energy sword and it appears in his hand and he is electterfided that it works and walk out to his crew and says “ plot a course we have what we need” As they leave braxs feel his connect to the one is weak but there and keeps it to himself and let Mayie plot the course as he decides who will go with He knows everyone can handle themselves but he needs a group to protect the ship so he picks David to come with him. As he and David gear up Braxs grabs his cloak so that he does not freeze in the dead zone David grabs his suit to protect him from the gravity and cold and the forug blasters and waits in the hatch David inquiries Braxs about all the info that he has on K.T.M.T braxs replies “ its just something I picked up on” He lies to his team from the start minus one And kelly him and kelly were lextens right-hand man and medical adviser the rest are clueless to there past and Braxs want it that because he fears his team will be scared of him and he does want to lose his family but David isn't dumb he has known forever and he say to braxs” okay boss but remember i am a friend and friends don't judge a friend for there past but there present actions. Brax Looks at David with reluctance and before Braxs can say something the ship’s alert system Tells everyone that we are entering Lord Lexten territory and they must be careful Braxs yells to his team “ Get the cloaking device on NOW” His team gets to work getting in online and as they do the once beautiful lights in space die out in there view now is a dead sloar system and in the middle there traget the dead sun its said when a sun explodes it froms a dead sun with the planets in it solar system and that is what Braxs and his team faces are in aw and shoke then Dex speaks up” i see worse” Braxs chuckled at the fact that Dex has a point but neve mind that braxs and David get to the hatch again and they jump down on the planets surface as they do braxs can already feel the K.T.M.T energy and its deep in the planet so Braxs and David turn the lights on and walk as they pin point the location and as they do Braxs stops in his tracks and stop David who looks confused why they are stopping and Braxs point at what look like David but actually behind him and Braxs shoots killing one of the creatures that inhabbit the Dead sun and David was unfased and gets back to with Braxs finding the K.T.M.T and they had to enter a cave it glowed with a uneasy purple glow and they went in with there gruards up Braxs states “David be careful we dont know what could be down here “ David says “ On it boss” Braxs looks around the cave seeing that the creature arent going near them which made Braxs even more careful because something terrible must have scared them and as him And david walk deeper in the cave there coms go out Braxs keeps moving d David ge worried because they just lot there only connection to warn the team if something happens” boss shouldent we go back before we get hurt or something?” Braxs turns around “ NO we need to keep going before lexten gets to it if you are that worried go back I keep going” David looks around and turns around and leaves “I am sorry boss…. it too risky” David leaves Braxs alone in the cave With that. Braxs goes deeper into the cave he finds something odd an old ship the size of a small moon in the end. Braxs finds a broken window and jumps in he surveys the area and see a light coming from a room and above its door says K.T.M.T safety Braxs enters and finds the K.T.M.T activator and it is just a remote so he easily grabs it and then he feels it the presents of someone that someone with a past with Braxs As Braxs turns Around he sees him Lexten “HAHAHA I see you're still doing my job for me Braxs hand over that remote now” Braxs Gretts his teeth and let out smile and says” Oh my dear “father” thinks I will just hand him this no I will not let your hand on this thing if you want it you will have to fight me Lexten!” Lexten chuckles” Ha that's boring how about this I use my new toy on you” As he says that Lexten's New right-hand man walks in and is ten times Braxs size” Puny Ant, hand over the device now or I will make this fun for myself” Braxs try using his coms but forgot they were cut off and then he draws out his powers but before he can The one pulls him into his dreamscape and says” Braxs you must not fight you will not win” Braxs get mad and laughs” Are you questioning me I always have a plan”
With that Braxs pulled himself out of the dreamscape and realized he had been tied and Lexten took the remote Braxs broke free with ease. And runs Out of the cave to catch up with Lexten as he exits. He sees his ship and Lexens above it He runs to it but he gets surrounded by the creatures one bit his Robot arm off. And braxs was able to kill them all with the little energy he had left and as he makes his way to the ship his team is standing her Kelly with her normal look meanwhile the other Three Look at Braxs with looks of fear and judgment and Braxs looks confused then Maylie spoke up with tears in her eyes “is it true braxs?” Braxs looked and said,” What is true Maylie?” Maylie screamed,” Is it true you're the braxs that once who worked for lexten the one who hurt all of us the one that made us work day and night without breaks!!” Brax stood there in shock” Who told you this Maylie “ Kelly walked up “ I couldn't keep my story hidden from friends anymore and then I told them yours” Braxs felt his chest tighten as the one he trusted and had known forever would reveal his dark past. Dex pipes up” At least she had the guts to tell us our Leader didn't even tell us” Braxs looked at his crew the fear and hatred in their eyes. He tried to get in the ship but Dex pushed him out” You don't deserve to be up here we should let you die on this planet.” Braxs caught himself and Kelly tried to get Braxs on the ship but the group held her, And they closed the hatch, and started the Ship. Braxs was distraught; he tried to improve his life, but his past kept biting back. He looked down at his destroyed arm and then he heard it “ Oh this really took a turn for the worse all because you never told your dumb friends the truth” With that Braxs turned around and saw Braxten standing there with his smile Braxs stood there feeling like his life is already gone he fell to his knees as he saw his ship his friends leave him on the Dead sun And Braxten chuckled “ Ah is the great Braxs alone to bad I wanted your friends to see me take control of your body and take them back to where they belong” Braxs felt something odd he noticed his arm repairing its self without him rebuilding it then Braxten vanished and braxs herd The one “ My Avatar we must speak alone now that whatever that thing was has retreated into your Subconscious we can do that. I think it is time you look for a way off this planet because as we speak Lexten is finding the last piece of the K.T.M.T. Do it soon young one”. Just like that Braxs was alone again and he didn't know what to do anymore He sat there lifeless his mind racing with all the memories of his past actions but the ones that kept appearing were his crew and him eating and laughing together. He stood up and headed to that abandoned ship buried deep in the cave and as he got in there he went to the engine room and got to work he worked on it for hours and as he did the only thing he thought about was finding his crew and giving them the full story he know then they might understand he then hears something. As he walks out he sees something odd ghosts. No that's too silly he thinks to himself self then he sees it is not a ghost but hologram’s and it looks like it is a recording He finds the control room and asks it what the date is of this recording it states the recording was made over 500 years ago as he watches it he goes to the area where the K.T.M.T activater was held and sees several researchers studying it. Braxs hears them” We need to get this to the station this device is too dangerous to have” With that the ship's recording cuts to 5 days later and the ship is on fire and screaming and braxs hears a very familiar laugh. As braxs turned around he saw Lexten first Braxs had fear but then confusion how is lexten here in this recording if it was 500 years ago? Braxs then see someone clinging to life in the Recording and they shove themself into lexten and push him into an escape pod so he would not get his hands on the device. Then for the final moments of life, this person sent a beacon out to another ship so that when needed the device could be found. With that, the person lets go and dies. As braxs watched this he thought if this was from 500 years ago then lexten would be at least 534 years old now but that made no sense because both of them looked the same. Braxs shook it off and asked for the next recording it went quiet and braxs seen that this ship crashed into a planet and then was deep enough to survive the implosion as it happened he didn't see it but felt that this planet had been the core of the dead sun brith. Braxs then realized he was in a ship that could be stronger that all of the lextens combined he went back to the engine and finally got it running he went to the power box and gave it a punch with his robotic arm sending waves of energy starting it up got the light on and everything. But as he did the ship started to shake like 100 earthquakes all at once and the ship was pulling out of the dead sun Braxs Quickly got somewhere safe. As it shook and broke the dead sun braxs fell to the ground and when he got to his feet he sen that this ship was not a ship but a space station. And the dead sun was gone and all the creatures died put to rest. While all this happened His team was off going who knows where and Kelly was trying to convince them to go back and pick Braxs up. “ come guys you all know Braxs would never hurt us” Dex with a plain face replied” He kept a secret from us one that was way too wrong to hide he is a murderer he did lextens biding and look where that got everyone I may be a robot but the doest mean i don’t read facial expressions. “ Kelly continues to talk to them and Maylie pipes in “He may have been our friend but he didn't tell us the truth he betrayed our trust why should we trust him” Before Kelly could speak their ship was attacked and when they looked out it was one of lextens drone ships and it shot down there engine the n there power as they got ready for a fight lextens Right-hand man got inside “ well look at this these ants want to play it we gonna do this properly you should know this winner name they call me 5 and you would know that kelly haha let us play now” With that 5 used the darkness to his advantage and attacked he used an emp bomb to disable there weapon and Dex he then knock the other two out with ease and pick them up and took them to his ship before that he planted a few bombs on their ship and once inside his own he blew up their ship. 5 took them to the empire capital and were tossed in prison minus Maylie Lexten wanted a word with her” Ah young one you right one time to see my greatest creation be rebuilt do you know the one thing that defies a villain and an evil mad man its simple really a villain is always having a reason for what he does and lets the hero win because they are weak but not I this game is fun when you time every mommet” Maylie sat there and spoke “ get to the point old man I rather be in a cell then here you drag this on” Lexten with a chuckle and gave her an offer” how would like revenge on Braxs I know you want it he did, after all, betray your trust.” When we get back to Braxs he gets the space station out of the dead zone and he had one goal and asked the ship's navigation “ find Ax6-10 position and status.” It replied that they were 56 light years away and that status was the ship was destroyed. Braxs automatically had to take him there he got his suit on and jumped into the vacuum of space he went to what was left of their ship and he was revealed there was no sign of them but he knew there was only one person that never left something behind he knew who Lextens right-hand man was now and wasn't happy. Braxs quickly set a course for the capital and quickly took a look at what weapons this ship held since he needed a totem to channel the full length of his powers when he got to the weaponry he found a normal-looking gun as he thought but when he picked it up it changed its self to a grip that fit his hand and a barrel to a perfect for a hard shell bullet. Brxs was stunned he never heard of any weapons like this with the K.T.M.T. activator and now this gun had him thinking this ship had more to it than it seemed and as he got closer to the capital he was ready for a fight. When he was getting closer the Station Computer asked to activate the weapons and Braxs didn't think much of it because he was still far away from the capital then Warnings appeared hostile ships were heading to his location. Braxs quickly and smartly activated shields first then had the turrets and as they got closer the stations shot each ship with precision and ease Braxs wasn't going to let people die anymore he used the tractor beam and took in the pilots he knew that would fight back because they where to in fear of defining Lexten Braxs quickly get in the command deck and they were hesitant at first but Braxs told them with him as their leader he won't let Lexten hurt them ever again. They quickly got up and went to different consoles on the command deck maned them and got the station at 100% power affinity. They were on a direct pass to the capital and Braxs told the pilots that he needed them on command there because Braxs now had the ship to save every person from Lexten's control and power and he was keeping his promise to end Lexten. When Dex woke up his head was disconnected from his body he was stuck and confused he laughed it off and said “Well I could be dead right now ha…he….” He is not good when it comes to this and quickly panics and makes his head fall to the gourd and his head rolled close enough to his body for him to connect to it and pick his head up and reconnect himself. When he calmed himself he looked around and realized he was not in a cell with his friends he was in a lab but he felt like he was there before as Dex looked around he saw something that triggered a memory he saw a bloody table he felt his head hurt and as he tried fighting the memories he let one slip and see his reflection it was him he knew it was he was not a robot he was once a human his name was not even Dex. He let all the memory flood his head and realized Braxs wasn’t at fault he was. Dex in his memory puts a control device in braxs head for lexten and Dex gets a surge of regret. Then he heard clapping “Ah I see that brain of yours was not too far gone you remember everything good” Dex tried attacking but 5 pressed a button his wrist freezing Dex’s body. 5 walked around him and spoke” You think I wouldn’t be dumb enough to bug that body of yours you are my mercy Mr.Trever or my mentor” Dex looked at him now with his memories back “ 5 What the hell is this I took you in raised you as my son” 5 smiled” Oh you did do that but failed to do lord Lexten bidding 9 years ago and he had you punished he wants to know how you ended up like this so I will be breaking you and rebuilding you it's going to be so much fun!” Dex thought for a mommet “ I will tell you how I ended up like this and first of all my name is not Trever it's Dex plus I am not scared of you i have seen the dead sun’s more sickening than you 5 You are not scary ha yout not even creepy.” Dex looks over to a closet” Behind the panel is where I kept my journal you will find it in there 5 walks over to it and rips off the panel “Where is it all I see is a tunnel?” Dex tried hiding his chuckles” It's deep in there you will find it” 5 stepped inside and Dex yelled “ Computer shut test cell 45” Room 5 was in lights up brightly blinding him as the entrance closed off Dex could now move now that signal and walk to 5 “ Your grounded haha” Dex leaves 5 and goes and find his friends to reveal the truth. While all that happened Maylie woke up in her old room the door was guarded and she needed to find a way out she went to her old chemical lab and was stunned all her chemicals had been cleared out she had no hope of getting out she went to her bed and lost hope. David was the only one put in a cell he tried breaking out but ended up breaking his arm.” agh…. it's no use I am useless without a weapon if the boss was here what would he say” David was thinking for a while and remembered something Braxs said while he was training with him “ Remember David we may be good with our weapons but the greatest weapon is the mind when using it right you anything could be a weapon just use you head” David looked around and he took Braxs serious and used his head agest the lock David is so hard that it made a actual dent.” ow that hurt I probably should have cushioned the blow” Braxs made a quiet entrance and knocked out the guards. And went to the command center and unlocked all the cell doors he located everyone minus Maylie he could not find her location anywhere which worried him. Braxs bumped into Dex first and Dex tried apologizing but Braxs stopped him” Dex we will worry about this later this is a rescue mission and saving the world” Dex nodded They quickly made ease with guards after they picked up David who had fallen unconscious with that head bump from earlier and They quickly made their way to Kelly when they took down the guards and entered they saw Kelly's hopeless face fill with joy when she saw her friends “BRAXS!, DEX!, DAVID? What happened to him” Braxs looked over “ He probably took my advice seriously again” They all chuckled then the question Braxs knew was going to come up came “ Braxs how did you get here we left you on the dead sun” Braxs smiled” look out to the wall her name is Audrey “ He pointed to the ship he named like all good captains do.

Venue: XL Center (Hartford, CT)
Attendance: ~9,3000

Winner	Loser	Match Finish	Stipulation
Jey Uso	Finn Balor	Spear	King of the Ring 1st Round
Iyo Sky w/ Damage CTRL	Natalya	Over the Moonsault	Queen of the Ring 1st Round
Ilja Dragunov	Ricochet	H-Bomb	King of the Ring 1st Round
Zoey Stark	Ivy Nile	Z-360	Queen of the Ring 1st Round
Chad Gable	Bronson Reed	DQ when Sami attacks Bronson and Gable
Lyra Valkyria	Dakota Kai	Nightwing	Queen of the Ring 1st Round
GUNTHER w/ Ludwig Kaiser	Sheamus	Half Boston Crab	King of the Ring 1st Round

IMPORTANT NOTES

• Kickoff World Heavyweight Champion Damian Priest and the Judgement Day making their way to the ring. Priest says it seems like all of France loved Jey Uso but in the end it didn't matter so still rise for your champion. Priest says he feels he needs to talk about what happened with the Judgement Day at Backlash, Balor tries to explain and says him and JD apologized. Priest says he understands and says he lost his cool after the match and as a champion he has to be better and apologizes to Finn and JD saying he appreciates them and calls Finn his brother before they all move in for a group hug. Priest says now it's time for business, they're still the most dominant faction in WWE and Finn will be the next King of the Ring. Finn says since Drew is injured he'll be getting a bye to the quarter-finals and this is the first step of becoming the king. Adam Pearce comes out and tells Finn he isn't getting a bye and Balor will still have a first round match. He tells the Judgement Day to leave the ring because they aren't going to have a repeat of what happened at Backlash because Drew's replacement will be Jey Uso!
  
• Backstage Drew McIntyre is furious at Pearce for replacing him with Jey Uso of all people in the King of the Ring tournament. Pearce says he had no choice after Drew told everyone himself that his arm was injured. Drew tells Pearce screw you and he's done with this BS and gets in his car to peel out of Raw. As soon as Drew drives out, CM Punk drives in and tells Pearce to hit his music because he has something to say as we follow Punk as he makes his entrance. Punk apologizes for showing up late, he says he spent a weekend locked in WWE HQ and just got out a few minutes ago and realized Raw was in Hartford so he drove up here to kick Drew's ass but he's left already. Punk says last week he was able to do his business in a shorter amount of time than Drew was World Champion, so how about tonight they go over time. Right now Drew is probably at a red light and we know he's checking twitter, so everyone tweet at Drew to show that Punk is here and if he isn't a coward he can come back and catch the beating he deserves. Punk says he'll hold this show hostage, he'd ask what they wanna talk about but that's someone else's deal so instead he'll tell a story. At the Royal Rumble Drew McIntyre DDT'd him so hard that he tore is tricep and ruined his Wrestlemania dreams. However after getting back up he realized Drew didn't ruin his dreams, he just delayed them. Punk says he's a 5 tool player so he moved into commentary while Drew is just a tool. Punk says for months he had to watch Drew run his mouth about praying for this, but Drew picked a fight with the pettiest person on this planet. All Drew does is complain and try to talk like him and Punk asks if Drew hates him or does he hate himself? He asks if Drew is a choke artist and calls himself the consequences of his actions. Drew prayed for this and he broke Drew's elbow, next time he sees him he'll break his face and then break his dreams. Punk says Drew may be a god fearing man but the only man he needs to fear is C M Punk. He drops the mic and speaks into the camera to say if he has to wait until Glasgow then he'll just break his face there.
  
• Ricochet is interviewed and says King of the Ring is the first step of securing his legacy when he's interrupted by Braun Strowman re-uniting with Ricochet and catching up with him. Braun says he hates bullies and will always stick up for the little guy and tells Ricochet to show everyone why he's the kind.
  
• After Iyo's victory, Dakota Kai grabs a mic and says 2 years ago they ran Raw now they are back to take over and Iyo just took the first step to becoming Queen of the Ring. Since Asuka is out injured Dakota says she'll be taking her place in the tournament and beat the bird lady Lyra Valkyria tonight. She also warns Bianca and Jade that they are coming to get the tag titles back.
  
• Sheamus is interviewed backstage. Sheamus says he's undergone medical procedure after procedure on his neck just to get back in the ring. He says him and GUNTHER can't stand each other and after all the bangers they've had but this time he's finally going to kick GUNTHER's ass and become a two time King of the Ring and be named high king.
  
• R-Truth is backstage is hyping up a champion vs champion match to Adam Pearce, Pearce says that's a great idea but asks who he'll be facing. Truth brings in the head coach of the U Conn basketball team and Miz storms in telling Truth he can't just face anyone and tells him the Huskies are a basketball team. Truth says they're part of an indie promotion called NCAA before Truth and Miz walk off. Pearce says he needs a drink when he's confronted by Bron Breakker who demands to know why he isn't in the King of the Ring tournament and Pearce tells him to join him in his office.
  
• Backstage Finn says he wasn't prepared for Jey Uso but Priest says it's all good and he's still the prince. JD says this is all because Finn wasn't at 100% because of Braun Strowman and Priest tells JD he'll take care of Braun next week. Dominik walks in and brings Carlito with him. Priest says there are no friends here and he doesn't want to see Carlito after he screwed him out of his match last year in Puerto Rico. Carlito says he knows how things work and he needs some help with the LWO and if they scratch his back he'll scratch theirs.
  
• Bronson Reed walks to the back after laying out Sami and Gable. Pearce asks if they really can't control themselves out there. Reed says this is all business to him and all he wants is the Intercontinental Championship.
  
• GUNTHER says he already heard Sheamus is concerned about putting on a banger, but he isn't concerned about bangers, he's concerned about being the best and will gladly embarrass Sheamus again on his path going from being general to King of the Ring.
  
• Becky Lynch is interviewed by Michael Cole in the ring. Cole says Becky understands the importance of representing the WWE wherever she goes just as she did last weekend at the Kentucky Derby. Cole asks Becky who are some of the competitors she's looking forward to facing in this new era, she says a lot of people back there want to slap her in the face and she welcomes it. She came up to raw 9 years ago wanting to make a change and she sees that same fire in the locker room today. She mentions Alba Fyre, Isla Dawn, and Kiana James all as women she is looking to face before placing special mention on Lyra Valkyria. She says Lyra is one of the greatest competitors she's stepped in the ring with and is looking to get her win back. Becky says he loss at Wrestlemania will haunt her but she used that to get better and used that to beat 14 other women two weeks later and become World Women's Champion. Liv Morgan comes out and says all this talking and no mention of her and says she is tired of being over looked around here. Liv says she was a Money in the Bank winner, former Women's World Champion, multiple time tag champion, she beat Nia last week, and she's the woman he took out Rhea Ripley and yet she can't get an ounce of respect from Becky. She demands to know about the title match she was promised and Becky says if she gave her a second she was about to say Liv is going to get that chance at King and Queen of the Ring but reminds her that she's never beaten her. Liv says she knows she's never beaten Becky but now she has purpose and that is to take everything that Rhea ever held dear. Damage CTRL comes out and Dakota says Liv got a title match she didn't earn, but it doesn't matter because they have the Queen of the Ring on lock and are out there to show who really runs Monday Night Raw. Damage CTRL surrounds the ring as Becky and Liv go back to back but Liv rolls out of the ring and says this isn't here problem. Damage CTRL beat down Becky but Lyra Valkyria runs in to Becky's aid and helps fend off Damage CTRL.
  
• Sami Zayn is interviewed backstage, he says this should have been over week ago when he beat Gable in the middle of the ring and now he also has to deal with Bronson Reed and he has to juggle both emotions and business. Sami says the only way to handle this is a triple threat match in a triple threat at King and Queen of the Ring and Sami says this will only end with him still as Intercontinental Champion.
  
• Kofi Kingston says this was supposed to be Woods's chance to become a two time King of the Ring, but GUNTHER took that away from him and he's got to get revenge for Woods. First he's got to get through the legend Rey Mysterio, someone he admires but says he'll have to put him down so he can get to GUNTHER and then win King of the Ring for Woods.
  

SHAMELESS PLUGS

• Live Thread
  
• New to /SquaredCircle? Check out the Wiki!
  
• Check out our Squared Circle twitter account for all sorts of AMA announcements and interaction!
  
• Curious about how the /SquaredCircle Championship and Jobber Championship works? Check out the rules!
  
• Be sure to follow @WWE on Twitter and Like WWE on Facebook! You can download the official WWE App on iTunes so Michael Cole shuts up about it!
  
• Like other wrestling promotions? Perhaps you're looking for other subreddits related to wrestling? There's a sub for that! Check out /TheDirtsheets, /luchaunderground, /njpw /TNA, /ROH, /indiewrestling, /Wrasslin and more!
  

The Kendrick/Drake rivalry, soft power and the fall of empires
My current hyperfixation is obviously the beef between Kendrick Lamar and Drake, which has taken to enormous proportions this last week (or days) in the culture, American yes, but not only that. This effort post, it is my attempt to link thoughts that I’ve had while following it, and especially arguments that I have read or heard coming from several people doing their own analyses.

Timeline

Well before the explosion of recent weeks between the two artists, they had collaborated in 2011 and 2012 on several tracks, and Drake, by then already a superstar, had even included Kendrick as the opening act on his tour Club Paradise. From 2013 onwards, however, their relationship tarnished when Kendrick took on several names in the industry with “Control”, including Drake. The majority took it pretty well. Not Drake. Over the several following years, the two have sent sneak disses at each other. Kendrick saw everything that is wrong with the rap industry personified in Drake, the man disgusted him, the very fact that he could exist and thrive made him retch. Drake, with his pop-infused hip hop, always ready to do features with trending artists to surf on the different fashions of the day in the genre, saw his ego swell alongside his success. And he couldn't stand being attacked, he has had beefs with too many people to count. Let's jump to March 2024, where Kendrick responded to J. Cole including him in the "Big Three", Drake, J. Cole, and himself with this line: "Motherfuck the big three, n**a, it’s just big me.” In April 2024, Drake released “Push Ups”, relatively unimportant in this affair, then “Taylor Made Freestyle”. That’s where shit exploded. Drake had used an AI on this track to copy 2Pac's voice, one of the giants of hip-hop. The Tupac Estate threatened him with a lawsuit, forcing him to delist the song. On April 30, Kendrick released “Euphoria” (Drake served as executive producer on both seasons of the series of the same name), a six-minute diss showing the extent of his contempt for Drake, threatening him throughout with retaliation if he didn't stay well above the belt (i.e. keep the family out of it—a social contract softened when Pusha T revealed the existence of Drake's son in “The Story of Adidon” in 2018). May 3, less than 72 hours after *Euphoria, Kendrick released “6:16 in LA”, where he implied that he had a mole in Drake’s entourage feeding him information. The same day, 15 hours after 6:16 in LA, Drake releases “Family Matters” with a music video, in which Drake appeared at the restaurant mentioned in Euphoria, and crushed a van of the same model that Kendrick had used in his early days and which appeared on the cover of his second studio album, “good kid, m.A.A.d city”. He talks about Whitney, Kendrick’s fiancée since 2015, accusing him of beating her, and of being an absent father.

meet the grahams, Not Like Us, BBL Drizzy & The Heart part 6

About fifteen minutes after Family Matters, Kendrick releases “meet the grahams”, a song with a horror movie beat, in epistolary form to each member of Drake's family, Drizzy himself included. Honestly, my mouth was hanging open from the first line “Dear Adonis [...]” (where he addresses Drake's son directly), I couldn't believe it. Imagine for a moment that a man who hates your guts interrupts your family stroll, kneels down in front of your six-year-old child, and says “Dear [Adonis], I'm sorry that this person is your parent” while looking straight into your eyes. The disrespect shook me. In Family Matters, Drake had gone where Kendrick had warned him not to go, his family. But Kendrick had anticipated that angle of attack, and dressed him down in meet the grahams a mere fifteen minutes after the last drop, accusing him of being addicted to gambling, to prostitutes, to drugs, of having a hidden and abandoned second child, of not really being part of Black culture, and even more damning, of being a pedophile, hiding other pedophiles in OVO, and being part of a child sex trafficking ring. I insist, this is not what is expected in your typical beef. Juicy details about cheating, addiction problems, sure, but above all good bars that get people excited and talking. Not allegations of that magnitude. Not a song that makes people widen their eyes and wonder where such visceral hatred comes from.
Less than 24 hours later, Kendrick drops again, with “Not Like Us”, this time a catchy club hit, with an energy the polar opposite of meet the grahams. The level of accusations remains the same, or worse. The difference is that this track had been made to play in clubs, and by its structure encouraged the crowds to harmonize on lines such as “Certified Lover Boy? Certified pedophiles”, or “Tryna strike a chord and it's probably A-Minor”. In my opinion, this is the moment when Drake lost the battle for the public’s heart. Everyone was stunned after meet the grahams, not really knowing what to do with this filthy beast, but it seems hard to come back when people are dancing and singing along to a track calling you a pedophile.
Of course, everyone was waiting and is still waiting for solid evidence on these allegations, from Drake sure, but more importantly from Kendrick. Nevertheless, it’s hard not to wonder the why of these damning accusations, and why at this precise moment (the trial of Sean Combs, aka P. Diddy, began in early April 2024 with very similar accusations).
On May 5, Drake released “The Heart part 6”. He responds to Kendrick's allegations, and ends the song without rapping, saying he’s disinterested with continuing this beef. In my opinion, and I think I speak for a lot of the people following the culture even a little bit, this ain’t it. The name of the song, the little sample at the beginning and the first line are the only solid parts of the track. Why say that he discussed and planned the leak about the alleged daughter with his entourage, only to five lines later say that the moles are clowns? Why not show the receipts with phone calls, or screenshots, when that would prove his stroke of genius? Why give Kendrick bullets when he accuses him of being a manipulator? And what’s with that unhinged read of “Mother I Sober”? To say Kendrick has an obsession with child-touchers because he was SAed as a child when he was talking about his mother, who suffered this horror in her childhood and couldn’t see past her trauma ? Going there is the mark of sick mind. Not to mention that even with that stupid read, plucking that string when Kdot accuses him of being a pedo with his full chest ? That’s damning. Or, while the P. Diddy trial is going on—after Weinstein, after Epstein and all these rich sex pests, defending himself from this accusation by saying that he’s too famous and respected? Is he out of his mind? Especially when for almost 15 years he’s been seen as a creep when it comes to girls way too young for him. And besides, why even name drop Epstein or Millie Bobby Brown on his own? The guy fuels the allegations against him when he tries to defend himself.
Not to mention that just before that, Metro Boomin dropped on his Twitter his “BBL Drizzy” beat with a challenge: the best bars win a beat from him, free of charge. Literal stroke of genius when Drake dissed him and told him to stick to doing drums. Malicious compliance at its finest. Thousands of up-and-comers from all over the world rushed into the breach. I was able to hear bars in Japanese, German, or French. To quote Drake, it's no longer 20 to 1, but thousands to 1, with a disstrumental where the diss is baked in. Just like Not Like Us, it doesn’t help him that the beat is an earworm.

Lol, who the fuck cares

Usually, I would say “more power to you” to those who don’t give a single fuck. But this hits different. Kendrick is not only attacking Drake but the entire culture industry (naming Weinstein in meet the grahams and using the word “industry” in every track starting from Euphoria). #MeToo was not very successful. Some wins, but overall, it wasn’t the revolution anyone hoped for. Way too much pushback from mainstream media. Attacking those giants is dangerous. For years, the hegemonic media has been abusing people who point at their attackers, the vast majority of them women accusing men. By asking about their dress, their perceived sexuality, the supposed kickbacks they’d get when blasting their abusers. We’ve seen this with Amber Heard, who, by physically defending herself from Johnny Depp the alcoholic, could not be the perfect victim, even though she fits all the other criteria: she’s white, she’s gorgeous, she’s talented. The list of people who were in Jeffrey Epstein’s Lolita Express has been published and…nothing. Or not much. On the other hand, right now, we have millions of people in all countries sharing tracks calling Drake and his entourage pedophiles, a global culture primed and ready for testimonies, even calling for them, if they exist. Imagine for a moment being someone who has had this kind of experience. Not the sordid details, but the anxiety, the fear of losing the small support network that you've been able to keep, the impossibility of filing a complaint when half the cop population are wife-beaters. Seeing Roman Polanski or Woody Allen parading around with a litany of allegations behind them. Contrast this with a moment when the culture dances while naming your abuser a pedophile, where it dissects his every word, finding filth in everything he says. Where thousands of artists put their best bars on a disstrumental ridiculing him. The court of public opinion is already on your side. It calls for you.

The important things

There is a genocide going on. Several, in fact. As I write, Rafah, the so-called “safe enclave” in which the Gazans have been forced to take refuge by the Israeli occupying army at the start of this phase of an ethnic cleansing that's been going on for more than 75 years, is threatened. Nearly a quarter of the clothing we wear goes through the hands of the enslaved Uyghur people in China. So why talk about a stupid beef between two very rich men? It demonstrates the power of soft power in the structure of global culture. It provides, in what I think a completely unexpected way, keys to possible solutions to all the struggles pitting the small against the powerful. Make no mistake, the soft power that we see with Kendrick and Metro Boomin clowning on Drake is not the one coming from the American empire, but the one from the African diaspora, from those that are still being enslaved in the American prison system, and resonates powerfully throughout the world. I absolutely do not recognize myself in American culture as it is introduced in propaganda blockbusters like Top Gun Maverick or other tools of the DOD to promote the illusion of the American empire. The messy and contradictory culture of hip hop, on the other hand, yes. Its homophobic delusions and toxic masculinity while it worships the ground that 2Pac touched. Tupac Shakur, a theatre kid who did ballet and presented himself dressed like a leather daddy at times. That culture I vibe with. Kendrick's demonstration of the power of cultural circulation at a time when we see the facade of the imperial core collapse, its criminalization of anti-war protests and climate justice activists, while we’re in the middle of public health disasters—no, covid is not over—, humanitarian crises, and climate chaos makes me weep with joy. It’s the only time I’ve laughed out loud and danced in the streets since the beginning of October last year. This is one of the rare moments where I understand with my guts Mariame Kaba when she says “hope is a discipline”. It’s been years since I’ve written this much. So let's diss our so-called elites. Let's dance while calling them murderers. Let's bang on pots every single time they open their mouths. Chuck some eggs their way. Let's stand in the way of cops trying to assault students occupying universities (funny, suddenly they're against territorial occupations, uh?). Let's create safe spaces for those who have the courage, the need, or the opportunity to go further.
I leave you with this incredible bop from Charlie Curlis-Beard using the application that the American government wants to ban: TikTok

It's been three years since Hyzen Alanis' (My OC) sister was killed in an underground fight. Felicity died in the ring while fighting an opponent that scarred the underground MMA community forever. Her opponent, (Your OC), killed her and rumor has it, the more pain she inflicted, up to and including death, the more money (Your OC) received. This was never proven, but (Your OC) started living a lavish and luxury lifestyle.
Over the years, Hyzen had to delete his social media. (Your OC)'s followers started cyberbullying him, threatening him with violence and that he needs to be dead like his sister. The threats got worse and worse and then he got doxxed. He had to move apartments having just signed a lease and lost a lot of money. Someone with medical student loans can't afford these things. Now, he's forced to live in a dangerous part of town.
Hyzen himself isn't much of a fighter. He wears glasses, just graduated from medical school and now has the designation of doctor despite him only being an intern. Despite using his hands to heal rather than fight, he loved watching his sister in the ring. Felicity was good, too. Hyzen attended every fight, every training, like clockwork, cheering his sister on. Everything was great, until she ran into (Your OC) in the ring. Felicity never walked out of that ring and died with (Your OC) standing over her.
Hyzen's first day as a doctor and his internship goes as planned. Busy. Little to no sleep. He got his internship at Preston University Hospital, also where he got his medical degree. A 36-hour shift of pure torture with patients being dumb and nurses all over his case for writing orders wrong.
"Dr. Alanis!" a paramedic yells.
Hyzen spins around to see paramedics wheeling in two different stretchers through the automatic ER doors. He runs over, recognizing the paramedic. "What do we got, Steve?" he asks, helping the paramedics while in the stretcher to the Trauma 2 room.
Hyzen, the nurses, and the paramedics get the patient moved onto the table and they get to work. The paramedics leave, helping the others wheel the second stretcher into Trauma 1. Whoever this guy is... it's going to be hard to recognize him now. His face is smashed in. He at least has a broken arm, some broken ribs, and bruises on a large portion of his body; similar to a burn victim has burns all over the skin. "Did... fists do this?" Hyzen asks.
The room door slams open. "Dr. Alanis! We need you in Trauma 1," a nurse yells.
Hyzen bolts out of the room and swings open the doors of Trauma 1. "Let me guess, basically the same injuries? Beat up?"
"Looks that way," a nurse says.
Hyzen and his team stabilize them and call for consults, especially ortho for the broken bones and dislocations. He walks out of the room and stands in the lobby, writing something down on the charts on his hand and writing orders.
"*Did you see what I did*?" a chilling voice asks (Your OC).
Hyzen drops his charts right there on the tile floor in the lobby. He knows that voice... pure evil. A bitch... A seething hatred creeps into Hyzen's body. Hyzen slowly turns around to see (Your OC) standing a few feet in front of him. "I..."
(Your OC) grins. "It took me awhile to find you..."
Hyzen sees that same grin (Your OC) had when his sister was dead in the ring. (Your OC) was standing over her with that same grin, while his sister stopped breathing. "You piece of..."
"Aww, Hyzen! You look mad! Maybe you should do something about it?" (Your OC) taunts.
Despite not having any fighting training, Hyzen can't help himself and charges straight at her. (Your OC) braces herself with a wide smirk erupting onto her face.
//
*(Your OC) is your character.
*I've been replaying for a very long time, since the Google+ days. Some of you probably don't even know what that is at this point.
*I'm a novella-length roleplayer. While my responses aren't that long starting out, please be able to write a few paragraphs. I use non-real face claims. Anime, art, or AI is fine, but not realistic.
*You can introduce characters, cause drama, push the story, and respond in any way you want. Please keep in mind that all characters, with the exception of mine and your OC, can be controlled by both roleplayers. The standard rule still stands, I don't control your character and you don't control mine.
*Third person. I never roleplay in the first person, sorry.
*I don't expect immediate responses, but one every 24 to 48 hours would be nice. Life happens and it's okay.
*I use Discord, but please message me first.