One of our party members started working with resin and gave us all a personalized set of dice tied to our characters colors, DM also received a set for himself.
We decided to take them for a spin on our latest session where our high level party was being swarmed by insectoid creatures with multi attack.
We're all putting on a good fight as the swarms start surrounding us and then our DM starts rolling really well. Like stupidly well. Like suspiciously well... We're talking 20s every other roll and double 20s on multi attacks with advantage. So damage, while relatively low, starts stacking up.
We start getting supersticious to the point where DM and wife keep alternating between removing and donning their own wedding ring (they're married to each other) to affect each other's luck lol.
DM starts to get concerned about the dice so we set them apart and start running them through McGyvered tests at the table. Creator starts rolling them and taking down stats of numbers rolled. While not perfectly loaded, definitely getting way more 20s than it was statistically likely.
We laugh it off and continue to play with other dice sets. Our party thanks to great teamwork, some OP custom weapons and good use of strategies managed to not only beat back a horde of the creatures, but also beat loaded dice with no casualties.

LATHANDER
The Morninglord, Commander of Creativity, Patron to Spring and Eternal Youth, Mentor of Self-Perfection, Bringer of the Dawn, Lord of Birth and Renewal
Greater Power of Elysium
Symbol Sunrise made of pink, red, and yellow gems, or a simple rosy pink disk
Realm Morninglory (Elysium/Eronia)
Alignment Neutral Good
Aliases none
Superior none (AO)
Allies Chauntea (lover), Deneir, Eldath, Gond, Ilmater, Kelemvor, Llira, Lurue, Mielikki, Milil, Oghma, Paladine, Selune, Siamorphe, Silvanus, Sune, Torm, Tyche (dead), Tymora, Tyr, Ushas
Foes Bane, Beshaba, Bhaal (dead), Cyric, Ibrandul (dead), Iyachtu Xvim (dead), Loviatar, Moander (dead), Myrkul (dead), Shar, Talona
Servants none
Servitor Creatures butterflies, celestials of all types, elysian dragons, hollyphants, radiant creatures, robins (normal and celestial), sanctified creatures, sun peacocks (normal and celestial), sunwyrms (good aligned only)
Manifestations an intense and rosy radiance that appears around objects to indicate special qualities or at confusing or dangerous junctures to indicate a safe or preferred path, and that causes those people it surrounds to be telekinetically pushed out of harmful situations, healed of all wounds, purged of any diseases, poisons, foreign objects, magical and nonmagical afflictions and deleterious effects, magical or psionic compulsions, fear, and curses, causes resurrection effects to be automatically successful, and transmits messages
Signs of Favor aster blossoms, an intense and rosy radiance with the same qualities as his manifestation, sun peacock feathers
Worshipers Aristocrats, artists, athletes, farmers, hunters of the undead, merchants, monks of the Sun Soul, peasants, performers, the youthful
Cleric Alignments LG, NG, CG
Specialty Priests Morninglord
Holy Days Midsummer morning, the mornings of the vernal and autumnal equinoxes
Important Ceremonies Song of Dawn; contracts, marriages and promises made at dawn, funerals for those not meant to be raised or resurrected
Portfolio Athletics, birth, creativity, dawn, renewal, self-perfection, spring, vitality, youth
Domains Community, Courage, Endurance, Good, Glory, Hope, Life, Protection, Radiance, Renewal, Strength, Zeal
Favored Weapon Dawnspeaker (heavy or light mace)

LATHANDER
Male Sentinel 20, Cleric 20, Morninglord 20, Master of Radiance 5
NG Medium Outsider (Extraplanar, Good)
Divine Rank 17
Init 44 (+16 Dex, +8 Superior Initiative); Senses 17-mile-radius; Listen 77, Spot 77; remote sensing (20 locations), portfolio sense
Aura divine aura (DC 78), courage (100 ft, +8 saves against fear), radiant 3/day; Languages can communicate with any living creature; Words of Creation
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AC 105, touch 57, flat-footed 95, undead 107 (+18 armor, +20 deflection, +10 Dex, +17 divine, +30 natural)
hp 1,860 (20d10 + 45d8 plus 1300), fast healing 74; divine shield 23/day (170 hp); renewal 1/day (if fall below 0 but less than -10 hit points regain 1d8 +20 hp); DR 40/epic, evil and adamantine
Immune ability damage, ability drain, banishment, death effects, disease, disintegration, electricity, energy drain, fire, imprisonment, mind-affecting effects, paralysis, poison, rebuking, sleep, sonic, stunning, transmutation, and turning
Resist acid 37, cold 37; SR 81
Fort 111 Ref 101 Will 105; +2 against evil outsiders and undead, +4 against mind-affecting effects from evil outsiders, +5 against evil spells or spells from evil characters
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Speed 60 ft. (12 squares)
Melee dawnspeaker 115/110/105/100 (55 plus 18 fire plus 18 holy plus 1 negative level vs evil plus 48 vs evil outsiders and undead plus undead disruption [Fort DC 79 or die]/19-20/x2 plus 36 fire plus 36 holy plus 2 negative levels vs good plus death [Fort DC 79, evil outsiders and undead] plus undead disruption [Fort DC 79 or die]), +8 atk vs evil outsiders and undead; or
Melee spell 80 or
Ranged spell 76
Base Atk +43; Grp +63
Atk Options Awesome Smite, Cleave, Holy Potency, Power Attack; smite evil 24/day (+20 atk, +455 damage)
Special Actions alter reality, divine blast (444 damage) 23/day, feat of endurance 1/day (+30 Con for 1 minute), destroy evil outsiders and undead 27/day as a 66^th level cleric (turning check 73, turning damage 105; Heighten Turning, Intensify Turning, Multiturning, Quicken Turning), protective ward 1/day (+65 resistance bonus to one saving throw for one hour), surge of hope 1/day (when failing a skill check, attack roll, or saving throw, add 1d6 to the result), touch of life 1/day (1d6 +65 temporary hp to a single creature for one hours), zeal 1/day (take 20 on a skill check, except on checks are not normally allowed to take 20, without increasing the amount of time needed to make the check); Battle Blessing, Corona (Will DC 62), Divine Censure (Will DC 62), Epic Divine Might, Epic Divine Vengeance, Sacred Vengeance
Combat Gear dawnspeaker
Divine Spell-like Abilities (CL 65^th; +1 good spells; all [fire] and [light] spells are intensified)
At will – aid, animate objects, animate plants, antimagic field, atonement, bear’s endurance, bigby’s clenched fist, bigby’s crushing hand, bigby’s grasping hand, blade barrier (DC 53), bless, bless weapon, bolt of glory, bull’s strength, charm person (DC 48), cloak of bravery, color spray (DC 48), commune, consecrate, crown of glory (DC 55), death ward, dismissal (DC 51), dispel evil (DC 52), disrupt undead, disrupting weapon (DC 52), endure elements, enlarge person, widened faerie fire, flame strike (DC 52), fire shield, fire seeds (DC 53), freedom, gate, globe of invulnerability, good hope, greater cloak of bravery, greater dispel magic, greater heroism, greater planar ally, greater restoration, greater status, greater teleport, heat metal (DC 49), helping hand, heroes’ feast, heroism, hide from undead (DC 48), holy aura (DC 55), holy smite (DC 51), holy sword, holy word (DC 54), hypnotic pattern (DC 49), iron body, lesser restoration, lion’s roar (DC 56), magic vestment, mass bear’s endurance, mass heal (DC 56), mind blank, mordenkainen’s magnificent mansion, plant growth, plane shift (DC 52), polymorph any object (DC 55), prayer, prismatic sphere (DC 56), prismatic spray (DC 54), prismatic wall (DC 56), protection from energy, protection from evil, rary’s telepathic bond, rainbow, rainbow pattern (DC 51), refreshment, refuge, regenerate, reincarnate (DC 51), remove disease, remove fear, repulsion (DC 54), righteous might, sanctuary (DC 48), scintillating pattern, searing light, sustain, spell immunity, spell resistance, status, stoneskin, sympathy (DC 55), summon monster IX (good creatures only), sunbeam (DC 54), sunburst (DC 55), tongues.
1/day – calm emotions (DC 51)
Master of Radiance Spell-like Abilities (CL 56^th; +1 good spells; all [fire] and [light] spells are intensified; only usable during aura of radiance)
1/round – beam of sunlight, searing light
Morninglord Spell-like Abilities (CL 54^th; +1 good spells; all [fire] and [light] spells are intensified)
1/day – daylight, searing ray (as searing light, but automatically empowered against undead)
Cleric Spells per Day (CL 54^th; +1 good spells; all spells are energized and maximized; all [fire] and [light] spells are intensified)
20^th (3+1/day) – heightened intensified end to strife (DC 63) (x2), heightened last judgement (DC 70), enhanced heightened intensified mass heal (DC 59) (D).
19^th (3+1/day) – heightened miracle (DC 69) (x2), consecrated intensified purified sacred storm of vengeance (DC 59), enhanced empowered heightened sunburst (DC 63) (D).
18^th (3+1/day) – consecrated enhanced heightened purified flame strike (DC 62) (x2) (D), intensified quickened righteous smite (DC 57), enhanced intensified righteous smite (DC 57).
17^th (3+1/day) – heightened holy word (DC 67) (D), heightened know true name (DC 67), empowered intensified lion’s roar (DC 58), heightened quickened miracle (DC 63).
16^th (4+1/day) – intensified mass heal (DC 59), intensified righteous exile (DC 59) (x2), intensified storm of vengeance (DC 59), enhanced quickened sunburst (DC 58) (D).
15^th (4+1/day) – empowered intensified blade barrier (DC 56) (D), enhanced quickened searing erupt (DC 59) (x2), intensified mass cure critical wounds, heightened righteous glare (DC 65).
14^th (4+1/day) – enhanced fire-substituted fiery searing lion’s roar (DC 58) (D), heightened quickened holy word (DC 60) (x2), empowered quickened sunburst (DC 58) (x2).
13^th (4+1/day) – enhanced quickened flame strike (DC 55) (D), quickened implosion (DC 59) (x2), quickened sublime revelry, intensified weight of sin (DC 56).
12^th (5+1/day) – empowered enhanced blade barrier (DC 56) (D), empowered enhanced cometfall (DC 56), intensified divine retribution (DC 55), consecrated purified sacred firestorm (DC 58) (x2), quickened visions of the future.
11^th (5+1/day) – quickened amber sarcophagus, consecrated purified quickened cometfall (DC 56), sacred searing erupt (DC 59), quickened greater shield of lathander, quickened light of purity, quickened sunbeam (DC 57) (D).
10^th (5+1/day) – quickened crown of brilliance, consecrated fire-substituted searing earthquake (DC 58), quickened heal (DC 56) (D), empowered fire-substituted stormrage.
9^th (7+1/day) – heightened eternal rest (DC 56), quickened flame strike (DC 55), feast of champions, gate, mantle of the fiery spirit, prismatic sphere (DC 59) (D), summon elemental monolith, undeath’s eternal foe.
8^th (8+1/day) – chain dispel, holy aura (DC 58) (D), illusion purge, know true name (DC 58), mass restoration, mass valiant spirit, spread of contentment (DC 58), shun the dark chaos (DC 58), consecrated purified wages of sin.
7^th (8+1/day) – bastion of good, control weather, fortunate fate, quickened light of Venya (DC 53), rain of embers (DC 57), radiant assault (x2) (DC 57), rejuvenating light (DC 57), sunbeam (DC 57) (D).
6^th(8+1/day) – chasing perfection, consecrate battlefield, quickened deific vengeance (DC 52), heal (DC 56) (D), fiery vision (x2), ghost trap, light of courage (DC 56), vigorous circle.
5^th (9+1/day) – atonement, blistering radiance (DC 55), chaav’s laugh (DC 55), condemnation (DC 55), crown of flame, divine agility, divine retribution (DC 55), searing meteoric strike (DC 54) (x2), valiant fury (D).
4^th (10+1/day) – aligned aura (DC 54), assay spell resistance (x2), aura of the sun (x2), channeled divine health, cure critical wounds, holy smite (DC 54) (D), recitation, sacred haven, sunmantle.
3^rd (10+1/day) – cure serious wounds, fell the greatest foe, find the gap, flamebound symbol (x2), forced manifestation (DC 53), heart’s ease, mass align weapon, phieran’s resolve, prayer (D), protection from negative energy.
2^nd (10+1/day) – detect aberration, eagle’s splendor, healing lorecall, make whole, mark of doom (x2), mark of judgment (x2) (DC 52), master’s touch, share talents, shield other (D).
1^st (10+1/day) – bless water, conviction, detect taint, divine favor, endure elements (D), exorcism (x2) (DC 51), nimbus of light, ray of hope, ray of resurgence, vision of heaven (DC 51).
Orisons (6/day) – create water, cure minor wounds, guidance, light, purify food and drink, read magic.
Epic Spells Prepared 6 divine, up to Spellcraft DC 122
Epic Spells Known epic mage armor, epic repulsion, epic spell reflection, global warming, glorious light of renewal, greater ruin, hellball, nailed to the sky, nimbus, rain of fire, ruin, superb dispelling. Lathander has additionally created many epic spells that bring light and life, as well as bring ruin to the undead.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Abilities Str 50, Dex 42, Con 50, Int 36, Wis 51, Cha 50
SQ avatar, bane of the restless, celestial fortitude, celestial minion 1/day, creative fire +20, divine grace, divinity, immortality, lathander’s light, resist fiendish lure
Feats Awesome Smite, Battle Blessing, Cleave, Consecrate Spell, Corona (Will DC 62), Divine Censure (Will DC 62), Divine Might, Divine Vengeance, Empower Spell, Energize Spell, Energy Substitution (fire), Extra Turning, Fiery Spell, Heighten Spell, Heighten Turning, Holy Potency, Improved Critical (heavy mace), Improved Initiative, Improved Turning, Maximize Spell (B), Power Attack, Purify Spell, Quicken Spell, Quicken Turning, Sacred Vengeance, Sanctify Martial Strike, Searing Spell, Weapon Focus (heavy mace), Words of Creation (B)
Epic Feats Enhance Spell, Epic Divine Might, Epic Divine Vengeance, Epic Spellcasting (B), Great Smiting (x2), Improved Heighten Spell, Intensify Spell, Intensify Turning, Multiturning, Positive Energy Aura, Superior Initiative
Salient Divine Abilities Area Divine Shield (170 hp in a 170 ft square or a 17 ft sphere or hemisphere), Automatic Metamagic (energize spell), Banestrike (evil outsiders), Banestrike (undead), Call Creatures (17 celestials with up to 37 HD), Divine Inspiration (hope), Divine Fast Healing (x2), Divine Paladin, Divine Spellcasting, Divine Weapon Focus (heavy mace), Divine Weapon Specialization (heavy mace), Earthmother’s Boon (unique salient divine ability), Energy Burst (170 ft, 136 fire damage), Energy Storm (170 ft, 17 holy and 17 positive), Gift of Life, Indomitable Strength, Life and Death (Fort DC 79 or die, 340 damage on a successful save), Lord of the Dawn (unique salient divine ability), Mass Life and Death (any number of creatures no more than 17 miles apart, Fort DC 79 or die, 340 damage on a successful save), Power of Nature, Rejuvenation (-17, -34 in Morninglory), Undead Mastery (17 creatures)
Skills Appraise 70 (78 paintings and sculptures), Bluff 82, Concentration 125, Craft (painting) 138, Craft (sculpting) 138, Diplomacy 143, Gather Information 72, Heal 125, Jump 84, Intimidate 86, Knowledge (arcana) 80, Knowledge (history) 92, Knowledge (nobility and royalty) 118, Knowledge (religion) 118, Knowledge (the planes) 118, Listen 77, Perform 145, Ride 62, Search 75, Sense Motive 82, Spot 77, Spellcraft 122, Survival 67 (75 extraplanar), Swim 82, Tumble 67
Possessions +8 full plate of the celestial battalion, dawnspeaker

Aura of Radiance (Su) The light of Lathander shines perpetually. No matter how dark it is, the Morninglord sees as though the conditions were identical to the outdoors at sunrise. This ability functions like darkvision out to 60 feet, except that he sees in color. Lathander also has a +2 sacred bonus on saving throws against spells with the darkness descriptor and a +2 sacred bonus to Armor Class against attacks from undead creatures.
Beam of Sunlight (Sp) Lathander can evoke a dazzling beam of intense light (the equivalent of a beam from the sunbeam spell) once per round as a full-round action as long as his radiant aura is active as a 56^th level caster.
Blessing of Dawn (Su) The sight of the morning sun is an inspirational vision for the Morninglord. Lathander gains a +2 morale bonus on Will saves from sunrise until noon. This ability is in effect only while he can see the sun; the effect is suppressed any time he is deprived of the sight of it during this period.
Celestial Fortitude (Su) Lathander’s endurance and fortitude are enhanced against fiendish attacks. He has a +2 sacred bonus to all Fortitude saving throws against effects from evil outsiders and evil spells. Additionally, if he makes a successful Fortitude saving throw against an effect from an evil spell or evil outsider that normally deals half damage or partial effects on a successful save, he instead takes no damage and suffers no partial effects.
Celestial Minion (Sp) Lathander may summon a Medium or smaller size celestial animal (with the celestial creature template) as a standard action usable once a day. This celestial minion carries the same responsibilities as a paladin's special mount and gains the same bonuses to its HD, natural armor, Strength, Intelligence, and other special abilities that a paladin's special mount has, but only remains for 20 hours before returning to the outer plane from whence it came.
Creative Fire (Ex) The Morninglord is a creative, expressive deity. He has a bonus equal to his morninglord level on all Craft and Perform checks.
Divinity Lathander is an embodiment of ancient divine power. As such, reality is his to shape as he sees fit.
Alter Reality: Lathander may alter reality within the bounds of his portfolio. This functions as a wish spell that requires no XP or material cost. The limits of this ability are fully described in Deities and Demigods. He can additionally alter his size from Fine to Colossal and may additionally alter up to 100 pounds of objects in the same manner.
Avatar: Lathander can have up to 20 avatars at any given time. The Morninglord appears as a golden-skinned athletic male of exceeding beauty who has just fully entered early manhood. He wears noble robes constructed in the colors of the dawn, carries himself proudly, and dresses in the finest golden plate armor if attending to matters that might turn violent.
Divine Blast: Lathander can create a ray of divine power that extends for up to 17 miles, dealing up to 444 points of damage, as a ranged touch attack with no saving throw. Lathander can unleash a divine blast 23 times per day, and alter the visual, auditory and sensation-based qualities of his divine blast as he desires. Lathander’s divine blasts generally take the form of rays of fiery sunlight.
Divine Shield: As a free action 23 times per day, Lathander can create a shield that lasts 10 minutes and stops 170 points of damage from attacks. Once the shield stops that much damage, it collapses. Any damage Lathander is naturally immune to does not count towards the shield’s limits.
Earthmother’s Boon (unique salient divine ability) Chauntea is Lathander’s lover and has bestowed a degree of protection over her consort. By her grace, the Lord of the Dawn cannot be harmed by any nonmagical plant or any creature with less than 33 Hit Dice with the plant subtype. Epic creatures and creatures with equal or more than 33 Hit Dice must succeed at a Will save (DC 79) to harm the Morninglord.
Greater Turning (Su) Six times per day, Lathander may use greater turning as the granted power of the Sun domain. This is superseded by his Lord of the Dawn salient divine ability.
Lathander's Light (Su) Whenever Lathander casts a spell with the light descriptor, its area is doubled.
Lord of the Dawn (unique salient divine ability) Lathander is the sun. He is the light that drives back the darkness, the brilliant spark that lights the way out of night and the creative brilliance within every artist. His dominion over light and the sun, both physical and metaphysical, grants him a variety of powers as listed below:
Fires of the Sun: The light of the sun shields Lathander’s body. This protection renders Lathander immune to all forms of magical and nonmagical fire, with searing effects only dealing half damage. In addition, spells and spell-like abilities cast by Lathander from the Sun domain, or with the [fire] and [light] descriptors, are similarly enhanced and are always intensified.
Radiance of the Dawn: Lathander can shed light equal to full sunlight in a 17-mile emanation from his body that counters and dispels all Darkness effects unless created by a higher ranked deity. Undead and evil outsiders caught within the radius must succeed at a Fortitude save (DC 79) or be destroyed and turned into dust. Creatures vulnerable to sunlight suffer a -17 penalty to the saving throw. A successful saving throw still deals 17d8 points of damage, while creatures vulnerable to sunlight suffer 17d12 points of damage.
Spark of Creativity: Lathander is the commander of creativity, the inspiration and muse for craftsmen and artists throughout the Realms. 17 times per day, Lathander may bestow a +17 divine bonus to any Craft or Performance check, or the Efficient Item Creation feat, to up to 17 creatures for the next 24 hours. Performances and non-magical items crafted beneath the aegis of this ability always earn three times the normal gold amount and have three times the listed market price in cost. Magical items crafted with the benefit of this ability add +17,000 gp to the listed market price and increase any numeric benefit (enhancement bonuses for the purpose of attack and damage rolls, armor and save bonuses and so forth) by +4.
Spurn the Profane: Lathander uses the totality of his character level to determine the effectiveness of his ability to smite evil, turn outsiders and undead as well as any of his feats that affect the undead. His turn attempts resolve as greater turnings (as the granted power of the Sun domain). In addition, Lathander adds his paladin spells to his clerical spell list, using the sum of both lists to determine his caster level.
Wrath of the Dawn: As a standard action Lathander can generate a ray of scorching light that extends for up to 17 miles and inflicts 17d6 points of damage, half fire and half divine. As a full attack option, he can generate up to four rays, and undead and evil outsiders suffer 17d12 points of damage. In addition, Lathander can duplicate the effects of any spell with the [light] descriptor as a standard action. (CL 65^th, DC 50 plus spell level).
Maximize Turning (Su) Once per day, Lathander can automatically achieve the maximum possible result on a turning damage roll. This is superseded by his natural divine powers.
Radiant Aura (Su) Three times per day, Lathander can emanate an aura of brilliant light that weakens undead creatures for one minute. The aura provides bright illumination in a 30-foot radius around him, and shadowy illumination for an additional 30 feet beyond that. Creatures that take penalties in bright light also take them while within the radius of the bright aura. In addition, undead creatures within the radius of bright light take a —2 penalty on attack rolls, damage rolls, and saving throws. Activating the radiant aura is a free action that does not provoke attacks of opportunity. While his radiant aura is active, Lathander casts spells with the light descriptor at +2 caster level. The radiant aura is the equivalent of a 5th-level spell with the light descriptor for the purpose of interacting with spells and effects with the darkness descriptor.
Rejuvenation of the Morn (Su) Dawn is a powerful symbol of rebirth and renewal. Once per tenday, Lathander may spend one uninterrupted hour before dawn in prayer. As soon as the sun rises after this prayer ritual, he gains one benefit of his choice from the following list.
· Healing up to full normal hit points (self only).
· Removal of any poisons or diseases (self only). This effect does not restore ability damage or ability drain caused by poison or disease.
· Full restoration of ability damage due to one poison or disease.
If his prayers are interrupted for even a single round, the attempt is ruined, and he must wait a full tenday to try again.
Resist Fiendish Lure (Su) Lathander has a +4 sacred bonus to all saving throws against mind-affecting attacks of evil outsiders.
Possessions
Dawnspeaker, Lathander’s gold-and-ivory mace, is a +10 fiery blast ghost strike mighty disruption heavy mace of holy power and evil outsider and undead dread. When held by the Morninglord, it also functions as a holy devastator. The DC of the weapon’s disruption and dread abilities is 79, and creatures vulnerable to sunlight suffer a -17 penalty to saving throws made to resist Dawnspeaker’s abilities. Lathander is known to loan out Dawnspeaker to questors and warriors he deems worthy and can call it back to his hand from anywhere in the cosmos.
The Morninglord also occasionally wears a set of golden +8 full plate with the powers of an armor of the celestial battalion. The bonuses are not reflected in the above statistics.
Other Divine Powers As a greater deity, Lathander automatically receives the best possible result on any die roll he makes (including attack rolls, damage, checks, and saves). He treats a 1 on an attack roll or saving throw normally and not as an automatic failure. He is immortal. Senses Lathander can see (using normal vision or darkvision), hear, touch, and smell at a distance of 17 miles. As a standard action, he can perceive anything within 17 miles of his worshippers, holy sites, objects, or any location where one of his titles or name was spoken in the last hour. He can extend his senses to up to 20 locations at once. He can block the sensing power of deities of his rank or lower at up to two remote locations at once for 17 hours. Portfolio Sense Lathander is aware of any event under the light of the sun, competition or act of artistry of the number of people involved up to 17 weeks in the past and 17 weeks in the future. Automatic Actions Lathander can use any skill related to his portfolio as a free action if the DC for the task is 30 or lower. He can perform up to twenty such free actions each round. Create Magic Items Lathander can craft any magical item that associated with heat and light, aids in self-empowerment, preserves or restores vitality or harms the undead, including artifacts.
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Eternal Rest [Ravenloft: Legacy of Blood 71]
Necromancy
Level: Cleric 6
Components: V, S, DF
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Ray (see text)
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will partial (see text)
Spell Resistance: Yes
This spell creates a ray of golden light that destroys one undead creature’s material body (if it has one), causing it to crumble to dust, which is then wafted away in a swirling breeze. This spell affects incorporeal undead without the usual incorporeal miss chance, and such a creature merely winks out of existence if it fails its save. If the target makes a successful save, it still takes 6d6 points of damage. If the creature has a special quality that allows it to return after destruction (such as a vampire’s fast healing power or a ghost’s rejuvenation power), the creature gains a bonus equal to its Charisma modifier on its saving throw. If such a creature fails its saving throw against this spell, it must make a successful Will save at the same DC (also with its Charisma modifier as a bonus) to return. If the creature’s method of return normally requires a saving throw (as a ghost’s rejuvenation power does), the creature must first make that saving throw, then make the Will saving throw against this spell.
You can improve your chance of success by presenting at least one object or substance that the target hates, fears, or otherwise finds repulsive or painful (such as a mirror and bud of garlic for a vampire). For each such object or substance, you gain a +1 bonus on your caster level check to overcome the target’s spell resistance (if any), and the spell’s saving throw DC increases by +1. A particular creature’s history might suggest additional objects or substances that would make the spell more effective.
This spell can also be cast when an undead creature has been physically destroyed and its remains are not present. In this case, the spell must be aimed at the spot where the creature was destroyed, and it must be used within 1 minute of the undead creature’s destruction. No attack roll is required for this use of the spell.
This spell can destroy an undead darklord’s physical form, but it cannot prevent the darklord from returning.
Rainbow [Dragon Magazine 321 68]
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Cleric 6, Radiance 6
Components: V, S, DF
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Effect: Rainbow bow, quiver, and arrows
Duration: 1 hour / level
Saving Throw: No
Spell Resistance: Yes
A rainbow-hued longbow appears in your hand, along with a full quiver of arrows fletched with different colors. The longbow is considered a +1 longbow that the caster is proficient with. The quiver holds an endless supply of seven different colored arrows, each being made of a different material and having the following effects:
Red: +1 elemental-bane adamantine arrows.
Orange: +1 construct-bane silver arrows.
Yellow: +1 plant-bane evil-aligned arrows.
Green: +1 magical beast-bane good-aligned arrows.
Blue: +1 undead-bane lawful-aligned arrows.
Indigo: +1 aberration-bane chaotic-aligned arrows.
Violet: +1 dragon-bane cold iron arrows.
Only the caster is able to use the bow, quiver, and arrows. They appear immediately back in the caster’s possession if dropped or given away, though the caster may drop the bow and quiver to use another item, but can rematerialize them at will, as a free action. The bow, quiver, and arrows have no weight and cannot be disarmed or sundered.
Know True Name [Kalamar: Player’s Guide 3.0 177]
Enchantment (Compulsion) [Mind-Affecting]
Level: Cleric 8
Components: V, S, DF
Casting Time: 1 action
Ranged: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft. / 2 levels)
Target: One fiend
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes
You force a fiend to tell you its true name. Once you know a fiend’s true name, all spells that you cast at that creature have their save DCs increase by +4. You also gain a +4 on all checks to penetrate the creature’s spell resistance.

Hello everyone,
I went on the MSC Seashore last week and went to the craps table as I do in any other casino. After playing for a few minutes, I noticed something I have never seen before. About 6" from each end of the table there was a hump/bouncer in the table that was almost the entire width of the table. I have never seen any casinos use this before to stop dice control.
Has anyone had a similar experience? Thought this was crazy considering I had never seen it. I am pretty sure that all casinos are soon going to adopt this kind of table style to make sure all rolls are randomized.

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Beyond the Basics: Unmatched Selection and Competitive Advantages
The best offshore sportsbooks go beyond merely replicating the offerings of state-licensed operators. They often provide a wider array of betting options, competitive odds, and potentially more lucrative bonuses and promotions. This translates to a more dynamic and potentially rewarding betting experience.
So, Are Offshore Sportsbooks Right for You?
The decision ultimately rests on your individual preferences and priorities. Offshore sportsbooks provide a compelling option for those seeking diverse betting markets, competitive odds, and the freedom to wager on their terms. However, it's crucial to choose well-established and reputable platforms that prioritize safety and fair play.

Why Bet at Offshore Sportsbooks

The allure of offshore sportsbooks is undeniable. But what exactly makes them so popular among bettors? Here's a breakdown of the key benefits that keep users coming back for more:

• Boosted Bankrolls: Bigger Bonuses & Regular Promos

Offshore sportsbooks are renowned for their generous bonuses and promotions. New user signup bonuses can reach into the thousands, especially when using cryptocurrency. Plus, there's a constant stream of ongoing promotions throughout the month, maximizing your betting potential.

• Fast and Secure Banking: The Power of Crypto

Cryptocurrency deposits and withdrawals are a staple at offshore sportsbooks. Enjoy the ease of swift transactions with minimal processing times, and in some cases, even instant payouts.

• Wagering Freedom: Available in Most States & No Geolocation Hassles

Unlike state-licensed operators, offshore sportsbooks bypass geolocation restrictions. This means you can wager freely from most US states, without any limitations.

• Keeping Your Winnings: No Taxes Withheld

Federal regulations require licensed operators to report winnings exceeding a certain threshold and withhold taxes accordingly. Offshore sportsbooks, however, don't report winnings to the IRS, leaving you in control of your tax obligations.

• Enhanced Odds: Lower Costs, Better Returns

Offshore sportsbooks benefit from lower operational costs due to the absence of state taxes. These savings translate into more competitive odds for you, potentially increasing your returns.

• Diverse Betting Options

Beyond the perks mentioned above, offshore sportsbooks often boast a wider selection of betting markets compared to their state-regulated counterparts. This allows you to place wagers on a broader range of events and explore new betting opportunities.

Offshore Sportsbook Bonuses: Bigger Bankrolls, Better Bets

Offshore sportsbooks have carved a niche in the betting landscape, and a major reason for their popularity lies in their enticing bonus structures. Unlike state-licensed operators, offshore sportsbooks offer a wider array of bonuses with significantly higher values. Let's delve into the treasure trove of bonuses that await you:

• Welcome Offers: A Kickstart for Your Betting Journey

Signing up at an offshore sportsbook unlocks a generous welcome bonus, typically a deposit match bonus. This bonus essentially matches a percentage of your initial deposit, potentially doubling your bankroll right from the start. Some welcome packages might even include free bets or bonus bets, further amplifying your betting power.

• Deposit Match Bonuses: Fueling Your Bets with Extra Cash

A staple in the world of offshore sportsbook bonuses, deposit match bonuses are straightforward and rewarding. The sportsbook matches your deposit by a predefined percentage, up to a specified maximum amount. For instance, a 100% deposit match bonus up to $500 would double your initial deposit, providing you with an extra $500 to wager on.

• No Deposit Bonuses: Free Money, Free Play

Considered the holy grail of sportsbook bonuses, no deposit bonuses are rare gems. These bonuses grant you free credit to use at the sportsbook, allowing you to place bets without risking your own funds. While the credit amount might be modest, it's a fantastic opportunity to try out the platform and potentially turn it into real winnings.

• Bonus Bets: Taking a Free Shot at Victory

Bonus bets, often part of welcome packages or bundled with deposit match bonuses, are essentially free wagers. Any winnings accrued from a bonus bet (minus the initial stake) are yours to keep. Imagine a $25 bonus bet that wins you $75; you'd pocket a cool $50 in profit!

• Ongoing Promotions: A Stream of Rewards for Loyal Bettors

The party doesn't stop at the welcome bonus. Offshore sportsbooks keep their customers engaged with a steady stream of ongoing promotions. These can encompass deposit bonuses, bonus bets, special event wagers, parlay offers, and the ever-popular odds boosts.

• Odds Boosts: Enhanced Profits for Savvy Bettors

Odds boosts elevate the potential payout on specific wagers, increasing your earning potential. These are typically offered for marquee events or specific bet types within an event or sport.

• Parlay Insurance: A Safety Net for Your Multi-Leg Wagers

A parlay bet combines multiple wagers (legs) into a single bet. Parlay insurance softens the blow of losing a parlay by just one leg. While you won't receive your full winnings, you might get your original stake or a portion of it back, mitigating your losses.

• Loyalty Bonuses: Reap the Rewards of Being a Regular

Engaging with a sportsbook's loyalty program unlocks exclusive bonuses not available to casual bettors. These bonuses can mirror any of the previously mentioned options or even extend to real-world rewards like tickets to sporting events.
By understanding and leveraging the diverse array of offshore sportsbook bonuses, you can significantly enhance your bankroll, explore new betting opportunities, and potentially maximize your profits. Remember to explore various sportsbooks and compare their bonus structures to find the one that best suits your betting preferences.

Offshore Sports Betting in the US: A Comprehensive Guide

The world of sports betting is rapidly evolving, and offshore sportsbooks have emerged as a compelling option for American bettors. But with so much information to navigate, it's crucial to understand the legalities, accessibility, and benefits of offshore wagering.
Is Offshore Sports Betting Legal in the US?
The legality of offshore sports betting hinges on two key factors:

• PASPA Repeal: In 2018, the Professional and Amateur Sports Protection Act (PASPA) was repealed, giving individual states the authority to regulate sports gambling within their borders. Many states have since legalized and launched their own sports betting markets.
• Federal Laws: There are currently no federal laws prohibiting US citizens from wagering at offshore sportsbooks. These entities operate under licenses issued by international gaming authorities, allowing them to serve customers in the US.

The Mobile Advantage: Betting on the Go
While you won't find dedicated apps for offshore sportsbooks, all our recommended operators offer seamless mobile betting through their websites. Simply visit the site on your smartphone or tablet, sign up, deposit funds, and start placing wagers. These mobile platforms are designed for optimal functionality and provide an experience comparable to dedicated apps.
Finding the Right Offshore Sportsbook
With numerous offshore sportsbooks catering to US players, choosing the best fit requires careful consideration. Here are some factors to keep in mind:

• Reputation and Licensing: Look for established sportsbooks with licenses from reputable gaming jurisdictions like Curacao. These licenses ensure fair play, security measures, and responsible gambling practices.
• Betting Markets and Odds: Explore the variety of sports and events offered, along with the competitiveness of the odds. Top offshore sportsbooks boast a wide range of markets and attractive odds for bettors.
• Bonuses and Promotions: Take advantage of generous welcome bonuses, reload promotions, and ongoing loyalty programs to maximize your bankroll and potential returns.

Some of the highly-rated offshore sportsbooks for US players include BetOnline, Everygame, Bovada, BetWhale, and TG Casino. Popular alternatives encompass Jazz Sports, SportsBetting.ag, BetUS, and BetNow.
Taxes and Reporting:

• Offshore Sportsbooks: Offshore sportsbooks themselves do not report winnings to the IRS. However,
• US Taxpayers: It's your responsibility to report gambling winnings to the IRS and your state tax authorities. Consulting a tax professional is recommended to ensure compliance with all applicable regulations.

Funding Your Bets: Payment Methods
Offshore sportsbooks typically provide two main deposit and withdrawal options:

• Cryptocurrency: Cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Litecoin offer fast, fee-free transactions (excluding minimal mining fees) and eliminate the need for third-party involvement.
• Traditional Methods: Credit/debit cards are convenient but may incur fees and are not always suitable for withdrawals. Bank wire transfers are another option, but often come with high processing fees.

Important Note: As of now, offshore sportsbooks do not accept PayPal or other popular eWallets (Neteller, Skrill) due to limitations imposed by these payment processors.
By understanding the legalities, mobile accessibility, key considerations for choosing a sportsbook, and payment methods, you can confidently navigate the world of offshore sports betting in the US. Remember to gamble responsibly and always prioritize licensed and reputable platforms.

Ready to Start Betting?

Top Offshore Sportsbooks for 2024

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These last two Sportsbooks are more for higher limit bettors

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• You took the Dealer's bust card.
  • Aka: The player screwed up the hand
• You took my card.
• Can you not come in until a new shoe?
• Why aren't you playing the side-bet?
• The casino wrote the book. Don't follow it.
• Don't surrender. If the casino offers a rule like surrender, you know it only makes them more money.
• We can't all stand, someone needs to hit
• When cutting: never cut in the middle. Thin to win (not the penetration… that's true a little).
• I never hit a 16 (or 15)
• The dealer is trying to make the casino more money winning all these hands
• "I have a gut feeling…" and goes against basic strategy (like doubles 12's…).
• When you lose, double your bet… you'll eventually win, and get your money back
• Always take insurance when you have a blackjack
• The casino is cheating
• They're switching dealers because I was winning too much.
• Why would you hit a soft-18?
• Why would you split 3's against a 7?
• Don't split your 8's against a 10, you're just turning that hand into 2 losing hands
• I can't believe you doubled a soft-19 against the dealer 6
• Always take even money against a Dealer's A
• Why did you hit a 12 against a 3?
• And whilst counting… WHY did you split 10's!!!?

I was playing 1/3 in Vegas and a dealer thought that I checked when I didn’t and dealt out the river.
So I had the nut flush on the turn, I’m first to act and I look down to double check I have ace of hearts, and when I look up the other player checked and the river is dealt out.
This was my second time playing at a casino so I didn’t want to cause a scene but I teally think I lost $100+ dollars because the other player had a lower flush and called my river bet (I bet $50 which was about pot). Assuming I bet the same $50 on the turn and then fire for pot on the river that’s a $200 loss because the dealer thought I checked. (it’s not a guarantee that’s it a call but missing my betting street on the turn severely ate into my profit).
How should I handle this in the future, just snap call the floor or try to discuss with the dealer / other players first? I noticed another player also look confused but he didn’t speak up and I didn’t want to look like an asshole.

Being totally true to the original game, we would actually add these a week and half into the game after everyone had just been making up their troop numbers. What follows is a slightly modified form of the rules that were on the original wiki.

Code of Chivalry

YOU MUST READ THROUGH THESE RULES IF YOU WISH TO PARTICIPATE IN THE SUBREDDIT! THEY ARE VITAL TO KEEPING THE SUBREDDIT FUNCTIONING IN THE MOST IDEAL MANNER!

1) Time

• Time in /westerospowers does not progress at the same rate as IRL. For more effective interaction, it is sped up.
  
• 1 day IRL = 2 months in WP
  
• Like in /worldpowers, Sunday is not counted in WP, this is a day off where houses can post [NEWS] for the week relating to their holding. [EVENTS] cannot be created, nor [CONFLICTS]. Basically, no action other than [NEWS], [CLAIM] or [META] can take place on Sunday. In your post, put the WP time, not IRL time (for example) : 4 months . (this would be 2 days IRL)
  

2) Claiming

You can claim a holdfast and a house/faction, which will give you dominion over it's adjoining lands. For example; House Baratheon and Storm's End, or Vaes Dothrak and the Dothraki Sea. There cannot be more than one of each house, unless an agreement has been reached, and then no more than two. The two must also be easily distinguishable (i.e. Stannis/Renly Baratheon).
Click here to see what can and can't be claimed.

• When you claim, use the [CLAIM] tag and state the house and holdfast in your title, and then use the description to tell us what you want your style to be (e.g. Kingslayer, Lion of the Rock, Red Viper, Mother of Dragons).
  
• Once you claim a holdfast, we will do the best we can to quickly get it on the Claimed List. Remember, we fuck up too, so feel free to message the mods.
  
• You may abandon your holdfast at any point in the game and claim another one. However, you will only be able to do so again after 1 month.
  
• ORGANIZATIONS NOT MENTIONED IN THE LIST ARE NOT AVAILABLE CLAIMS. It doesn't matter if they exist in the ASOIAF universe, you cannot claim the Faceless Men or Sellsword Company #91238 if they're not listed.
  

3) Wiki

• Once you claim a holdfast, we will make a wiki page for you. Make sure to include your title and , a brief description of your house, your prominent laws and regulations, and any alliances, or allegiances you have.
  
• Example, The Citadel
  
• Please update your wiki, it makes it easier when people want to find out about your house for alliances/fealty etc.
  

4) Etiquette

POSTS
DO

• Use a tag: [CLAIM], [EVENT], [EXPANSION], [CONFLICT], [NEWS], or [META].
  
• Announce anything important, agreements, events, and make decrees. Celebrate or commiserate occasions, such as marriage contracts, welcoming a new sworn sword, mourning a death, completing construction, weddings, funerals, etc.
  

DO NOT

• Be stupid. Play the game of thrones, be patient, forge alliances, and don't unveil your moves until it's too late. Open war is not always the most feasible option. .

.

5) Duel

[DUEL] will be used for starting duels. A duel will consist of a 1v1 battle between two characters. Each belligerent will post a role playing story of the last few minutes before the fight begins. The "home team" gets to make the first post so they can describe the location of the duel. The stories will be voted upon and the post with the most upvotes (not overall score because we're ignoring downvotes) will win. The winner will then post a [DUEL - RESOLVED] post that describes the fight. If a stories score doubles (minimum winner score 4) the other's the winner may kill the loser. Otherwise, all duels end with a capture or injury.

6) Conflict

It is natural that houses will wish to attack other houses for land and resources, or simply to keep things interesting. This is fine, but it is wise to consider diplomacy before calling the banners.

How do I create a Conflict?

• Make a post using the [Conflict - Rally] tag declaring that you are rallying your allies. This step will be used for a lord to call his allies to rally on him for a coming battle. Any lords that wish to participate in a coming battle must respond to this post (with the amount of troops rallied) in order to be counted in the battle. Any forces that were loaned to a lord by an [Event] post can be rallied by the loanee. The opposing side in the conflict should create their own rally post. You can still choose to stand down from a rally.

[Conflict - Rally] The Riverlands call forth their banners against the false King!

• If you wish to betray those who think you allies, Rally as normal for your supposed allies. Then send a message to the moderators with a [Conflict - Betrayal] tag. The mod will take your forces into account on the correct side.
  
• When at least 24 IRL hours have passed since one of the Rallies, you may then commit your forces using a [CONFLICT - COMMIT]. This signals the attack; defenders can not commit. This sets the number of troops that will be on each side to whomever has rallied on each side. If one side does not create a Rally post it is assumed that they use their full local forces (i.e. those still in the holdfast). A mod will then create the next post.
  

[CONFLICT-COMMIT] MyHouse attacks ThatHouse

• If you wish to retire from the field (i.e. if diplomacy succeeds or if you do not want to do battle), please create a [Rally - Release] post. This will count as your troops leaving the field, and neither army will be able to attack after that post has been made. Of course, if you retreat while defending a holdfast, the attackers can freely take it.

How does a conflict end?

• Whichever team of countries has the most points from battles wins. If the loser does not surrender then the battle continues. If the conflict lasts for the full 6 days IRL, then the loser must agree to a fully unconditional surrender.
  
• Another way for a conflict to end is if the attacker calls off the conflict or if the holdfast invaded surrenders or they both come up with a peaceful treaty to end the war.
  

What happens after a Conflict where a winner is declared at the end?

• The losing ruler has two options:

a) The less honourable course: They may rule their holdfast under the authority of the winner by pledging fealty, and becoming vassals. This means they must give their allegiance to the winning house. However, the loser can plot to overthrow the winner, but obviously must find the support to do it. The victor lays claim to the conquered land. The losing ruler still has control of the land, however, will be under control of the victor and will need to report to the victor as the victor may veto any decision the losing ruler makes
b) The honourable way: They may be destroyed by the winning house, root and stem. The losing house will be completely eradicated. The disputed lands will go to the winning house.
If a person's house has been eradicated (i.e. House Reyne), they may claim a new one after 7 days.

6) Expansion

General Guidelines

Because we recognize the reality that houses are going to want to annex unclaimed holdfasts for more land, we are making imperialism to a certain degree allowed.

• YOU CANNOT ANNEX WHOLE COUNTRIES! This doesn't include small islands. We will only allow territories or regions, like Winterfell taking White Harbour.
  
• Small regions are eligible for imperialism, but if your annexation of territory starts to become unreasonable, we will force you to renounce your annexation or just delete your post. Please try to keep it to a reasonable size.
  
• If you claimed a small region at first and want to annex another, message the mods. We will evaluate your request and see if you can take control of another small area.
  
• If you try to claim the entire North, you are going to have a bad time! Be reasonable and realistic, only take over small regions.
  
• Any region that is under the control of a claimed holdfast (read: imperialized) cannot be taken over by someone else.
  
• If you win a war against a house with imperialized territories, the conflict rules apply to the territories as well (refer back to War).
  
• Abandoned/revoked holdfasts belong to the liege lord. If no new player tries to claim them in 3 days, the liege lord is free to give them away. If there's no liege lord, the city/castle will become available in the claim list.
  

How to Imperialize

If you are declaring an annexation, use the tag [EXPANSION]. We will also put a list in the wiki of Annexed Territories. This is how you should go through your annexation:
1) [EXPANSION] House A will be sending delegates over to Holdfast X to discuss fealty.

• Put the proposed terms of your annexation as well as an explanation for it

2) [EXPANSION] Holdfast X has agreed to swear fealty to House A

• Describe any changes to the region annexed.

THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO FOLLOWS THIS FORMAT, IT MAKES THINGS EASIER FOR THE MODS!

7) Mod-Injected Crises

• Every now and then, because we are bored, we will make up a realistic crisis with a [CRISIS] tag. This can be an economic recession, natural disaster, or a magical threat.
  
• Each faction is encouraged to react to the crisis in the comments. You can say what your house is doing for recovery, if it will provide aid, how it affected you, etc.
  

8) Money

Please just be realistic. We aren't going to place limits because we want you guys to have fun, but if you donate 40 trillion gold dragons then obviously we will not allow it. Be aware of your house's economic situation, and just be realistic.

9) Inactivity

• To make sure houses don't become dormant, we will be enforcing active participation.
  
• TO BE CONSIDERED ACTIVE YOU MUST MAKE AT LEAST ONE [EVENT] PER WEEK
  
• You must also participate in News Days and post your [News] on Sundays
  
• If you fail to do so and it comes to our attention, then you will be given 1 day's notice before we default your house.
  

Let the mods know if you will be away for an extended period of time. If you have sufficient reason for your absence, and give a date when you will be able to return, the above does not apply for that time. Arrangements must also be made by the player regarding the temporary ownership of your holdfast. If these conditions are not met, the house may still be defaulted.
These land combat rules are taken from /essospowers, which we originally took from /westerospowers (the original set has been deleted).

Land Combat Rules

Thanks /Westerospowers for the original draft. This system is in effect as of right now.
Starting a Conflict

1. Normally all conflicts must begin with a [CONFLICT - RALLY] post. This post represents a host bringing their forces together for a fight. Normally at least 12 IRL hours must pass before a commit post is made.
   
2. If the two sides agree, or if a mod makes a ruling, you may skip straight to the commit phase.
   
3. The [CONFLICT - COMMIT] post indicates that the attack has been launched by the poster.
   
4. The mods will then make a [CONFLICT-SCORE] post ASAP. This conflict score post will use the below rules to declare a victor.
   

Fighting the Conflict
We will be using simple 6 sided dies (d6), 3 sided dies (d3), and 5 sided dies (d5) to represent combat. We have a bot perform these rolls. The number of which will be decided like this

1. In our example battle we have the following two sides: Side 1 consists of 1,000 men. Side 2 consists of 500 men.
   
2. Add both sides together to get the full number of troops in the battle, then divide each side's forces by that number to see the percentages. For example, a battle of 1,000 vs. 500 would be 66% and 33% respectively.
   
3. Each side's percentages will be rounded to the nearest 5%, so in this example it would be 65% and 35%. Each side will receive 1d6 for every 10%, any remaining 5% will give a 1d3. In the above example,the Side 1 (65%) force will receive 6d6 + 1d3. Side 2 (35%) will receive 3d6 + 1d3.
   
4. The results of the rolls will be added to create the initial score. The defender during a siege will receive a bonus to the their initial score equal to the defense value of the battle site. In this example, Side 2 will have a defense value of 4. The final result of all modifiers is the Battle Score.
   

Note: Defense bonus is based on the location of the defender and added to the end of the final total
Final = Total of Dice + Bonus
Note: Half the Defense value is added to the total dice sides. So a defense rating of 6 would add 3 making a D6 a D9.
In this example let's assume the following rolls:

• Side 1 (1,000, 65%): 1, 5, 4, 6, 3, 6, +2 (from the 1d3)
• Side 2 (500 , 35%): 3, 6, 6, +1 (from the 1d3), +4 (from defense)
  
• Side 1 Battle Score: 25
  
• Side 2 Battle Score: 20
  

Side 1 wins by 5!
During a battle in the open field this usually means the losing side is routed or retreats. During a siege the battle will continue until either side gives in or runs out of troops.
Note: Tie Goes To the Defender
Determining Casualties
Causalities will be determined as follows:
For the smaller army the average of all d6 rolls will be averaged together (round normally). In the above example that would result in an average of 5 ((6 + 6 + 3) / 3) kill dice for side 2. This determines how many kill dice (d5s) will be rolled for enemy causalities.
For the larger army, the highest d6 rolls equal to the amount of the smaller armies rolls will be averaged. In the above example that would mean the 3 highest (6,6,5) rolls would be averaged together for a result of 5.67, rounded to 6. The larger army (side 1) will roll 6d5 kill dice.
These d5 represent the percentage of causalities the opposing side will suffer. The winner will receive a bonus to their kill results equal to the amount of points they win by (in this example 6).

• Side 1 kill dice results: ( 1, 3, 1, 1, 1, 1) = 8 + 5 (excess battle score) = 13
• Side 2 kill dice results: ( 5, 2, 4, 3, 4) = 18

Those numbers represent how much of the opposing army is out of the fight (dead, injured, or captured). In this battle Side 1 won the battle, but Side 2 was able to cause a higher percentage of causalities.
18% x 1,000 = 180 troops out of the fight
13% x 500 = 65 troops out of the fight
What happens next
In an open field battle, the loser retreats and is run from the field. In a defense, another phase of battle will be run until either side gives in.
The mod running the battle will give a short blurb on what occurs in the fight. For this one, I would say something like:

Despite many casualties, Side 1 was able to get over the city's walls. Side 1 takes the inner side of the walls while Side 2 decides to continue the battle in the city streets.

So some context, their level 5 party (Firbolg Twilight Cleric, Aasimar Stars Druid 2/Horizon Ranger 3, Warforged Armorer Artificer, Gnome Paladin 2/Swords Bard 3) was infiltrating an assassin hideout. They attempted to stealth, but because none of them are particularly stealthy, combat started.
Now the hall's of this hideout are fairly narrow, and there's a lot of dead ends and loops, so it's pretty easy to set up choke points. Initially, the assassins tried to face them 1 on 1 in open combat and immediately got their asses kicked, as they're pretty squishy. So naturally, the assassins started retreating further into the maze like sewer system, as they know the different pathways, and trying to separate the party for ambushes. The party, unfortunately, fell for this, splitting into two different groups, and because the assassins are much quicker (they can double dash like rogues), they weren't exactly in hot pursuit. After 13 rounds of combat we had to end due to time, but the party was winning. Granted, they had spent a lot of resources and two members had taken a beating due to some unlucky dice rolls, but they're still doing better than the assassins.
Yesterday, 3 of the players approached me and said that the combat felt really frustrating because they kept having to dash to catch up to the assassins, and when they did land hits, the assassins would Uncanny Dodge (something I gave them, as I feel it's appropriate for a Rouge faction to have, especially considering how few hit points they have). I'm definitely upset to have learned that they weren't enjoying the combat, and I would like to change that, but to be completely honest, I don't see how this could have been done differently. They infiltrated an assassin hideout, swarming with well trained assassins (shocker, ik) who were smart enough not to face them head on, and proceeded to split the party in half. I get that it's not exactly the most riveting thing to say "I use my action to dash" and then just end the turn, but I feel like I was expecting them to come up with a better plan or literally anything other than "catch and kill."
Like I said, I want my players to enjoy themselves, and I apologized for making them feel frustrated and promised to try and avoid that in the future. I'm just struggling to understand where I went wrong. For me, it makes sense that if you're fighting a smart enemy, you have to play smart as well.
P.S. There was a point where one of the assassins attempted to surrender and dropped his weapons (though my players claim they never heard me say that, so that could be an area of confusion), and at first they let him go but then stabbed him in the back as he was leaving. From that point on I reasoned that in no way were the assassins going to hold back or attempt diplomacy, because surrendering no longer had a promise of safety. War crimes 😃
P.P.S. The Artificer player eventually did place down a Web spell, and I gotta say that I was very impressed because it stopped a crap ton of assassins heading their way for a counterattack. Unfortunately it was only one round before we ended, so I don't think he realizes how clutch it was.

Hi, I know some of you have been interested in Joost’s written stuff, so this is one of them. It’s a short story that Joost wrote for Boekenweek voor Jongeren (Book Week for Young People) in 2019. There’s more info about it here (in Dutch) https://www.vice.com/nl/article/qvgzpv/joost-klein-schreef-een-kort-verhaal-over-een-wilde-nacht-in-berlijn and there was also this promo video for it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wx7wxnpxps0. It's been translated from Dutch - maybe not the most perfect translation but it's readable. Original in Dutch here. Enjoy

"How come he suddenly has cash?" I looked at Gurb, but he avoided my gaze. Louis never had money and yet he was buying another round. Meanwhile, a Moby song was playing and nothing made sense. "If he has money for drinks, he can surely pay me back, right?"
Just a few hours ago, I was alone in Berlin. Now, ten hours later, I'm standing in some obscure techno club with my best friends. Loud rock music with drunken shouting. "Hey, Miss Murder, can I make beauty stay if I take my life?" I woke up that day with a mild hangover from the lonely yet people-filled night before. Perfect conditions for a 20-year-old dropout.
The Hard Rock Café was the most beautifully ugly place in Berlin. Gurb had driven for seven hours straight in his mother's car, but we didn't notice. An iconic black Mini Cooper. Your body leads your mind, the beat never stops, and you can conquer the world. Louis threw in another crazy dance move. We were happy.
"Do you want another drink, brother?" Gurb asked me, half shouting. An evening filled with rhetorical questions. He saw me dancing and already knew the answer.
Gurb always had money. Louis, on the other hand, never did. Louis was also the youngest of us three. He had just turned 18. I wouldn't call him a cunning fox. More like a jack-of-all-trades. Like the time he made a lot of money on a Wadden Island with a group of boys. They sold large blocks of hash.
"Crazy dude!" I shouted at him. He yelled something back.
"Do you remember back then?" Louis said.
"Back then? Back then? Yeah man, of course!" I had no idea what he meant. "Do you mean the party?"
"Do you mean the party, he says! This guy. When I look at you like this, it makes me happy. The exact same kid is here letting loose just like back in high school!"
We knew each other from secondary school. He joined when I was in the second grade. He was very intelligent. Too young, too much knowledge of the world. His mother is from Brazil. We often went to his mother's place to play on the Playstation Louis and I had bought together.
I lived everywhere at that time. In the crisis shelter where I stayed for a while, for example, I wasn't allowed to have a Playstation. So we set it up in an accessible place, near school. It was always fun with Louis. Going together to the Apple Store. Taking all kinds of photos with all the webcams, posting them on Hyves, and then leaving. Louis always knew how to cheer me up.
"Aaaaaaaaaa!" There was Gurb with five drinks in his hands. Gurb was wearing a blue checkered shirt. Two buttons undone. Hair slicked back. "You look good, brother!"
"You look fresh too! We all look fresh!" Gurb said enthusiastically. Louis was wearing a completely white outfit. We quickly bought this before going out. He also bleached his hair.
"You look like the Brazilian cousin of James Dean in these clothes," I said. Louis laughed. "Let me take a picture."
Suddenly, the DJ switched to some kind of techno. "Ah, here Berlin briefly takes off its mask." I was fine with it all. Louis was talking to a lady.
Voluptuous breasts, I thought to myself. He gave her one of his two drinks.
"He's with a girl and he's thinking with his dick," I said to Gurb. "Let him be, tonight Berlin is ours!"
The bass kept pounding. "I simply don't have the patience for the club," I said to Gurb. He looked surprised. Like a sweet dog, tilting his head. "I'm just waiting for tomorrow. Can't do my thing here. Don't have patience for the already known. I want adventure and I want it now!"
Gurb started laughing. "Patience is a virtue." Yes. Patience is all well and good, but I think it's a waste of my time. Gurb grabbed my shoulder.
"I think it's time for another beer."
Louis and I were walking through Leeuwarden a year ago when suddenly a red Ford Ka stopped in front of us. It was Gurb, casually driving around the city. He invited us into his car. We hopped in. Since that afternoon, the three of us were together. A few months later, Louis got a tattoo on his ribs in honor of our friendship. It was the name of our group chat. Braddar Force Indigo.
There were also days when Gurb would take me for a drive around Friesland. He reminded me how beautiful Friesland is. The world doesn't spin there. The newspapers I threw away in the Stiens forest in 2011 could still be lying in the same spot, so to speak.
Just before midnight, I found myself in line for the restroom. My eyes fell on a pair of striking shoes. Cigarette smoke invaded my nose for the fourth time. "Müssen Sie eine Zigarette haben?" a female voice spoke to me. I felt like Tom Hanks in the final scene of Angels & Demons, where the new pope first steps onto the balcony. The curtains opened. There I was, witnessing an important moment in history. I was just told how I was sent by God, but my ears didn't want to hear any of it. At least that's how I felt. My mouth was empty. I had no words left. That's when I knew for sure. Berlin might really be as crazy as literally everyone says.
Dark blond, silky hair. Was this real beauty then? She wouldn't look 40, but I think she was. A true woman. Beautiful in all her elegance. I always joked about being interested in older women, but tonight one stood in front of me. "I don't smoke," I said to her.
Someone tapped me. "Please, just go to the toilet!" He was right. I hadn't peed in a while either. My urine was cloudy. "Glomerulonephritis," I said to myself on the toilet. This is an unusual condition. It's an inflammation in the kidneys, I thought I remembered. They should never have given me access to Google.
The evening progressed, and Louis kept buying rounds. "But seriously now. How does Louis suddenly have all that money for drinks?" I asked Gurb. He was outside smoking with a group of Swiss girls. I had strategically positioned myself so that I could always leave the crime scene if necessary.
"You shouldn't ask me," said Gurb. He was laughing with the temporary girlfriend group of Louis. Gurb has a beard. A lot of chicks like that. I get it too.
As much as I enjoyed Louis and Gurb being here for me, something didn't sit right with me. It couldn't just be about the money. "What's up with him?" I heard one of the Swiss girls say to Gurb.
Those kinds of questions really tire me out. "Not much, with you?" I replied.
They all started laughing. "That's not what she meant, brother," said Gurb.
"I couldn't care less whether she meant it or not. Send that brace-face back to Switzerland. Don't drive me crazy, alright!"
Actually, I hadn't drunk that much that evening. "Two vodka Sprites, please!" It's rare for me to get just one drink. "I always get two drinks, then you have to wait shorter for the third one!" Maybe the alcohol was affecting me more than I wanted to admit. Oh well, it was still the three of us against the world.
"Nice shoes, are those Prada?" I asked a random girl at the bar.
"No, these are fake. Why would I buy real ones for 600 dollars if I could just buy these for 20?"
"..."
I'm not very good at that. Talking. To women.
Louis and Gurb were in the smoking area now. It was less blue than the dance floor itself. My clothes already stank, so a visit to the smoking area couldn't hurt. "These people are so underground!" Gurb shouted. Louis was filming him with his phone. "These people..." There was a brief pause. As if Gurb forgot the only line he had. "...so underground!" All three of us burst into laughter. The alcohol flowed through our veins as if it came from the purest mountains. People seemed doubled and the room was full. We had been in the same club in Berlin for several hours.
"Leonardo! What are you hiding from the big boss?" I sometimes called Louis ‘DiCaprio.’ "You a rich guy, now?" I said, with an accent as if I were from the Bronx.
Louis started laughing. "Eh, you know nothing. Bullshit talk."
I had to laugh too. What was I even worried about? Friends are friends, with or without money. That shouldn't matter. Louis probably just worked for that money. Maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought. Maybe he just had enough to buy rounds. But what if my gut feeling was right? That feeling was never wrong. Except for that one time at the Holland Casino in Groningen. Even the best of us have slip-ups. I was just getting worked up again. When it comes down to it, Louis is one of the sweetest guys I know. I had to let it go. After all, it's still Louis.
"I think I'm going to have sex soon, man," Louis said.
"With who?" I asked immediately.
"That one girl."
"Which one?"
"The one with the boobs."
"Oh, her. Just be careful."
"What kind of reaction is that?" Louis asked indignantly.
I'd only had four drinks, but I was acting like a mess. Louis was right. I didn't understand myself. Where was my head at? I'm here in Berlin, supposed to be having the time of my life, but here I am feeling lonely and sad again. Joost once again couldn't control his emotions.
"Sorry," I suddenly said to Louis. "Sorry for my behavior. Been acting dumb towards you all night. It's unnecessary." Sometimes I have that. Mood swings. "Know that crime is never the solution. We've talked about this so many times. Yes, it's tempting and sometimes easy money. I sometimes find it amusing too, but it's always hypothetical. Ask me for help. I can help you, even with illegal things. I'll always have your back." The dancing was kind of over.
The words I had just placed on Louis's plate came from my heart. My Frisian, irregular boys' heart.
Crying in the club. I had never seen myself like that. Crying, yes. In the club, no. I never understood the taboo around crying. Or emotions in general. I saw myself in the mirror. They weren't tears of joy. They weren't tears of sadness either. It was me letting everything go. All the emotions I had ever felt. The emotions I felt between my brother and sister and myself because they wanted to take on a parental role over me, but I was in puberty, so I pushed them away. The emotions I felt when my old neighbors were supposed to take care of my dog, but didn't tell me that he was bitten by one of their dogs. They didn't have money for the surgery, they later told me. They were ashamed of their lack of money. My dog died from this injury. Even the emotions that were all jumping at once during the retake for my swimming diploma A, I let go of.
No emotions. Just for a moment, not feeling anything. Is that too much to ask for?
"You still don’t smoke?"
It had to be the voice of the woman with the cigarettes. I looked over my shoulder through the mirror. It was her. The one with dark blond, silky hair.
"Not to be rude, but this is the men’s room," I said. She took a step closer and kissed me on my lips. It tasted like more. We started kissing. It had been a while since I had had female contact at this level. It probably didn't look good and it didn't feel good either. She started kissing my neck. Slowly, I noticed the pressure in the erectile tissues of my penis starting to increase. "I really don't have time for this!" I thought to myself. The woman with the cigarettes started to slowly sink down until she was on her knees. I didn't want this. Not now, not like this. She unraveled my penis from my Polo Ralph Lauren underwear. Her tongue was blue. It was probably from cheap shots of alcohol.
Was this real beauty then? Was this the beginning or the end of her story? And had I become the boy my parents hoped I would be? I thought about the fact that this was once someone's little daughter. Somewhere in the world, an old man might be wondering what his daughter is doing. Am I really putting pleasure above my own morals and values?
With my semi-erect circumcised penis still exposed, I lifted her up. After giving her a kiss on her forehead, I pulled up my pants and left the toilets.
It was the usual last hour in any club ever. I met Louis and Gurb at the bar. "Should we have another drink?" I asked Gurb. "I feel like having a cocktail. Something sweet. Lots of sugar. What about you?"
Gurb looked at the menu. "A cognac would go down well right now."
"A cognac? You're only nineteen!" Gurb and Louis laughed. "Two Tequila Sunrises please!" I called to the bartender. "Also, two beers! Thanks!" I also got a beer for Louis. At first, I didn't want to, but I didn't want to spoil the mood either. Besides, I didn't want to show too much that it bothered me so much.
We danced away the last minutes. The club closed, and we decided to walk with the group of Swiss girls. Apparently, they were staying nearby.
As I lagged behind the group, one of them tried to start a conversation with me. "Are you okay?" she asked kindly.
"I'm fine. Just had too much beer. Makes me sleepy." Not true at all, but I've heard people say that.
"You’re tired? The fun has only just began!" And as she said this, she pulled something out of her inner pocket. Her clenched fist, shielded by a half jacket. Who is this girl, anyway? I thought to myself. She opened her hand flat, and right in the center of her palm lay two small pills with a smiley face on them. At least, they looked like it.
"Oh, I don’t do drugs. Sorry."
"Me neither!" And she swallowed a pill. "Now it’s your turn... Or are you scared?"
Scared? Who did this crazy Swiss witch (with really beautiful eyes) think she was. With her "are you scared". I'll show her who's scared.
"Scared? I’m not scared." I picked up the remaining pill and swallowed it.
Everything went in slow motion. Was this who I had become? Was this the same boy from high school? And just before I could swallow, I spat out the pill. She was shocked. I picked up the pill again, dried it with my jacket, and put it back in her fist. "Maybe later!" I shouted, running back to the group, over my shoulder.
I have nothing to say to 9 out of 10 peers I come across. Of course, I can be social. I can also have fun with random people in random situations, but that night, it just tired me out. I also didn't understand what we were doing there. Those girls found me strange anyway. Suddenly, I was the fifth wheel.
"We know this place where they go until 7 in the morning!" The girl leader of the group spoke. I wanted to go home. "If you guys want, you can go. Don't worry about me," I said to Gurb and Louis. The boys had a brief discussion. We agreed to stay for just a little while longer for some drinks. I consented. I was thirsty. "I'll have a Fanta, Louis."
Gurb had reached the last cigarette in his pack. Louis and a girl from the group were nowhere to be found. It didn't even bother me. This guy just walks around with some cash in his pocket and all hell breaks loose. After a night full of stimuli, I understood Louis. Of course, I understood Louis. He's a young god. Handsome, smart guy. But that didn't make me any less angry. It was purely about trust for me. Something inside me said I should stop subconsciously expecting things from people too. It prevents disappointment.
"Hotel please!" I jokingly suggested to Gurb. "Should you call Louis or should I?" I added. Gurb immediately grabbed his Android smartphone and called Louis. He put the call on speaker.
"Are you ready?" Gurb asked.
"Yeah. Sort of."
"What do you mean?"
"We didn't have sex."
"That's fine, right? Tomorrow's a new day!"
"I think I'm in love, man," Louis said.
"...," Gurb said, chuckling as he let out a sigh.
Once we arrived at the girls' hostel, it was already getting light. Louis was thankfully back. There were stains on his pants, around his knees. My focus was solely on arranging a taxi. Although the boys were still flirting, I was really done now. "How are we going to pay for this taxi?" I said a bit too loudly.
There was a silence. "Don't worry. I still have cash," Gurb said.
"Yeah, I knew you would," I replied.
My words clearly hit Louis. "What do you mean by that?" he said.
It was as if time stood still for a few seconds. "Exactly what I said. Better listen." Louis pulled out a small wad of green bills from his pocket. At least 400 euros. "I don't even want to see that money," I reacted. I walked away.
I'll just order a taxi myself.
"Why are you walking away now?" Gurb said.
"Twelve hours ago, I was alone too, and I had a lot more fun then."
"Do you really want to know how I got this money?" Louis said.
Yes, I did want to know. My whole evening revolved around that damn money.
He took a second of pause before he began speaking. "The answer lies in the Mini."
What on earth could be in Gurb's mother's car? Louis was trying to get into my head. "Taxi!"
Once in the taxi, the division was clear. Gurb was upfront, chatting animatedly with the driver. All adventures ever were recounted. Louis and I in the back. One of my best friends since I was thirteen. Funny how things turn out. It was quiet between us. I was in my head, rehearsing how I would bring up the money again. It didn't add up, and he knew it himself. "I don't care, you know," I said, hoping he'd break.
"What don't you care about?"
"About that money."
"What money? You're really a crazy woozy man." Louis burst out laughing again.
On the other hand, it was silent. Gurb had started talking about the driver's family. The driver didn't appreciate it. Gurb meant well. The driver smelled of alcohol. Or was it me? His nails were polished. Maybe his wife was a specialist. I bite my nails myself. Like now.
"In the Mini, oh yeah."
"Shut up. Illegal man."
"You'll never know."
"Stop playing. Just say it!"
Louis grabbed my head, pulled himself towards me, and brought his mouth to my right ear. "Why so serious?" he whispered. He didn't want to tell me.
"But always with this damn money, huh?" I almost shouted at Louis. I broke every silence within a radius of 10 kilometers.
"I'm trying my best, bro. It is what it is. I can't make it any different," he replied. It was clearly bothering him deeply. He ran his hands through his hair. "Sometimes people have to do things. And you know that better than anyone. Sometimes they have to do things they don't really want to or aren't supposed to do."
I knew this spiel all too well. Through all the drunken haziness, I suddenly saw a small glimmer of light. A tiny spark of sincerity. Louis was serious this time.
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to involve you in this. I'm sorry," sweat dripped from his forehead.
"You're serious, huh? Damn, man. What mess have you gotten yourself into now? Worse than Terschelling?" Worse than Terschelling would mean stolen goods. Maybe even violence.
"It's not what you think."
"The Adlon Hotel, right?" the driver chimed in. Always saved by the bell, that Louis.
Suddenly I hit my head against the seat in front of me. Of course, I wasn't wearing my seatbelt. The last thing I saw was Gurb waking up in panic from his drunken stupor. One by one, I started losing my senses. It started with the feeling in my fingers. For a brief moment, everything wasn't quite black, and I could only see a vague pattern of colors repeating inside my eyelids. You could compare it to the brief moment after the commercial break before the movie starts in the cinema. The movie was about to begin.
I knew I wasn't dying. At least not yet. Not like this. Not after an overall mediocre night out in Berlin. I found comfort in the image I forced myself to see. It was all in my head. There I was, unconscious.
I saw myself in a third-person point of view. It wasn't like I was actually leaving my body. More like there was a webcam hanging in one of the upper corners of the taxi.
As a child, I used to dream a lot about death. Nights spent awake.
At some point, I developed a kind of compulsive behavior. I kept swaying my torso from left to right with my hands under my head. It became almost like a workout before bedtime. Every night.
I called it dream shuffling. Just like I had learned to shuffle puzzle pieces or playing cards. Making things a little exciting for yourself. But what I almost never told anyone was that I was scared. I was afraid of burglars, who were very agile and muscular.
Especially afraid that they would murder me. I really wanted to know what death was like. It scared me.
These fear visions originated during an all-inclusive vacation in Turkey. I was 6 years old and already in bed. There was a big old TV in our hotel room, so I could secretly watch TV from bed. Every evening, my parents sat on the balcony. Here they discussed their day while enjoying a glass of alcohol. There was a Japanese animated series on TV. In the few seconds that I watched, I saw a scary creature climbing a sort of apartment complex via the balconies. The creature had hundreds of teeth and blond hair. It quickly entered to decapitate the people, then drained them and, as a final insult, robbed them. Dozens of carcasses of dead people were scattered around the apartment complex. The complex on TV resembled the resort where we were in reality, and the TV world merged with my surroundings. I became part of it. I saw people watching. No matter how loudly I screamed for help, they didn't react. The sun became very bright, and the people turned into nothing more than shadows. As the intensity of the sun increased, something became clear to me. These were not people. They had a sort of orange skin. Where I had previously thought it was their nose and mouth, it turned out that these shadowy figures did not have such physical features. They simply had three holes in their heads. The police tried to do something, but in vain. Since then, we always kept the light on in the hallway outside my bedroom. By rocking back and forth, from left to right, I could glance fleetingly at the beam of light under the door. That bit of light, escaping from the hallway into my room, gave me an advantage. It allowed me to stay one step ahead of the burglars. Pretty smart, right?
"From Jamaica to the world!
It’s just love. Why must the children play in the street?"
It was Bob Sinclar with "Love Generation" speaking to us through the taxi's speakers. We were stationary. I was conscious again, but I didn't feel alive at all. "How long was I out?" I asked Louis.
I could tell by his expression that he was relieved. Relieved that I was back. "One minute," he almost apologized. Louis gave me a pat on the shoulder. Gurb, on the other hand, was sleeping. He slept like a baby cub.
I put my right index finger on my forehead. It felt wet, but it wasn't blood. Blood feels different. Meanwhile, I kept hearing whistling.
"Be the love generation! Oh yeah!" It was still that same song by Bob Sinclar.
The earlier scent of alcohol had now been replaced by the smell of incense. It smelled like the same incense I had in my room. Sold to me as Tibetan 39 incense. I had bought it at a coffee shop in Rotterdam. I pulled up my notes on my phone. "Who lights incense in a CAR????" I let Louis read from my screen. He took the phone from my hands and started typing as well.
"Look at Gurb >>>" Gurb was so deeply asleep that his head drooped. His seatbelt held his torso in place, but his head ended up on the driver's shoulder. The man didn't mind. He didn't move. I made eye contact with the driver through the rearview mirror, and soon I found him. He winked at me.
We arrived at the hotel. Gurb awakened from his alcoholic hibernation. "Who's going to pay for the taxi?" I asked. Clearly rhetorical. I already knew I would take this one for the team, as usual. I refused to use Louis's money. It was uncomfortably quiet. "By card please," I said.
"I'll always protect you, Louis. You really need to know that. I care about you like my own little brother. I'll always try to help you. But you have to be honest with me. Can you do that?" Louis didn't hesitate.
"Yes. Yes, I can. I'll show you. It's really in the Mini." Meanwhile, the taxi driver's card machine indicated that I had insufficient funds. That couldn't be right. Maybe I had withdrawn too much that evening.
"I have cash in the hotel room," Gurb said to me. Gurb informed the driver in broken English that he would go get his cash. The driver agreed. Money is money, whether it comes now or later. As long as it feels good in your hands.
Louis and I got out of the taxi. "You're not going to light a cigarette now, are you?" Louis wanted to smoke. "Especially for stress. That's really for people who can't handle pain. You need to feel pain. Pain needs to brand you for the rest of your life so you finally learn not to do such stupid things." It fell silent again. My blood boiled. All pots were on the stove. I felt like Gordon Ramsay in the kitchen. "Show me then. Do it."
Louis remained silent and walked around the corner of the hotel. Towards the parking lot. I followed him. "You're not going to find much," said Louis.
"Why not? Are you a magician?"
"No. Just. Not much."
"So there's suddenly magically nothing in Gurb's car?"
"Stop. Get out. Get out of my head!" Louis shouted. Louis had had enough. He was done with the parade. Normally we dealt with hypothetical stories. Only this time it wasn't a joke. I was sure now. Louis had dropped his mask. The revolution had begun. The government had fallen and the dikes had broken. The people were in charge. "You shouldn't freak out like this. Always wanting more. Sweet boy, think about yourself."
After Gurb gave the money to the driver, he came to us. He had a smile on his face, lit a cigarette, and exclaimed, "Brothers!" Once with us, he hugged me. He started laughing. "Maybe I haven't been entirely honest either." Sometimes Gurb seemed like a 38-year-old man. In a positive way. He exuded confidence in a way I didn't often see. Affectionate, with a hint of authority.
We stood in the middle of a large parking lot. "Look. We've reached a point where I might not even care anymore. You guys are teasing me." It did matter to me. Maybe more than ever. I was supposed to be two steps ahead of them, but I couldn't figure it out. "I give up."
The delightful silence returned. Louis and Gurb looked at each other. "You guys win. Apparently, I'm not to be trusted as a friend."
From Louis's expression, I could tell he disagreed with this. "Not true. Come to the car."
We arrived at the car. Louis unlocked it and searched for the trunk button. Gurb had started his third cigarette. "It's a corpse, isn't it? Say it now. I can still help you. I can still help us. I can book a ticket for you. We can get you out of here," I said to Louis.
"Just wait. Nutcase."
"Why won't you accept my help?"
Louis started laughing nervously. Or at least it seemed that way. Perhaps a sly laugh too. Had Louis killed someone? "It's not a corpse. That can't be. You wouldn't be stupid enough to use their ID. You're smarter than that. So it must be something stolen. Haven't you found that button yet?"
Suddenly, we heard a click. Louis had found the button. Somewhere, I didn't want to know. Shouldn't I just trust Louis? Wasn't that the whole point of friendship?
Finally, the moment had arrived. I placed my right hand in the slot of the rear hatch. Something in me doubted. Still. I still doubted. Louis looked dead serious. "You wanted to know, didn't you? Then you also have to be man enough to accept it." Louis was clearly not joking. Or was he acting again? "Pussy," Louis said. I looked away. "You're afraid of what's inside, huh? You're afraid of the real Louis." He began to laugh manically. "Open that thing, man. Nutcase!"
I started laughing too. Why did I make such a big deal out of it? Sweat broke out from every pore in my body. It was even a bit damp in the no man's land between my scrotum and my anus. A tropical climate. It had been quite an adventure the whole evening. I took my hand off the rear hatch and first gave Louis a hug. Not some half-hearted birthday wish. No, a real hug.
"It's okay, buddy," Louis said to me. I had no idea what he meant by that. It fit the moment though.
It was really time now. I opened the rear hatch.
"Where is it?"
"In front of you," said Louis.
"In some secret compartment?"
There was nothing in the trunk. Absolutely nothing. An empty trunk. For an empty evening, in an empty Berlin, with an empty group of guys. I didn't get it.
"You won, man," I whispered. "You finally fucking done did it."
I couldn't believe my eyes. Empty? There was still nothing in the car. Louis just stood there. Emotionally, I was a wreck. I had felt every emotion this evening. Seen every color and smelled every scent. I was done. My body was ready. No longer needed. My mission was complete.
"But why did you do this?" I asked Louis, laughing.
He scratched his chin. It felt like the end of a bad movie.
"I sold our Playstation. Wanted to tell you only after I had sorted everything out again. I terminated my lease. Had some debts, and I also wanted to have some money for once. Once not empty-handed in the club. Once not dependent on my best friends. This is not who I am... I know how much that Playstation meant to you. It was ours together. I should have just told you."
"… and how does Gurb actually make his money?"

SETUP
Shuffle the UNO deck and deal each player 7 cards. Players are allowed to look at these cards but should keep them hidden from others.
Each player picks a Monopoly token, and places it on GO.
Flip over the top card of the UNO deck and place it in the center of the board. If this card is an Action card (e.g. Skip, Reverse, Wild Draw 4, Draw 2, Wild) ignore that action.
Shuffle the Chance and Community Chest decks and place them in their designated spots on the board.
Give each player $1,500 in these denominations:
2x $500, $100, $50 bills
5x $10, $5, $1 bills
6x $20 bills
The youngest player rolls the dice, then second youngest, and so on. Whoever rolls the highest number on the dice goes first, then play initially proceeds clockwise. If there is a tie, try again. More on that later.
IN GAME
On your turn, roll the dice and perform the action for that space. Then play an UNO card on top of the card in the center of the board. You can match by color, number, or symbol. Wild cards and Wild Draw 4 cards go on top of anything, and you get to pick the color that resumes play.
The actions that you perform on spaces on the board are as follows:
BUY: You may buy an unowned Property from the Bank for the price listed on the board. You then take the Title Deed card. These are kept seperate from any UNO or Get Out of Jail Free cards.
RENT: If a Property you land on is owned by another player, you must pay them Rent. Rent is listed on the Title Deed card, doubles if they own the full color set, and increases if they own Houses or Hotels. Railroads and Utilities have special properties listed on the Title Deed card.
AUCTION: If you do not want to buy an unowned Property, it goes to auction to the highest bidder. Bidding starts at $10 and increases in increments as little as $1. Bidding can be done out of turn order as well. If another player gets the Property, you do NOT pay them Rent.
CHANCE or COMMUNITY CHEST: If you land on a Chance or Community Chest space, draw a card and perform the action listed on the card. If you draw a Get Out of Jail Free card, keep it. This card is kept seperate from your Title Deed and UNO cards.
TAX: If you land on Luxury Tax or Income Tax, pay the amount listed on the board to the Bank, and draw two UNO cards. You are not allowed to play an UNO card on that turn.
If you land on Free Parking, you get a random unowned Property. You can still play an UNO card.
Landing on or passing GO gives you $200 from the Bank.
If you land on Just Visiting, nothing happens. You can still play an UNO card.
If you land on Go To Jail, immediately go to Jail. Do not collect $200 for passing GO.
To get out of Jail, either roll doubles, pay $50 to the Bank, or use a Get Out of Jail Free card.
While in Jail, you can still bid on Auctions, collect Rent, build Houses and Hotels, and play UNO cards.
The actions you perform for UNO cards are as follows:
Skip: Skips the next player's turn.
Reverse: Reverses the direction of play, but also the way pieces move around the Monopoly board.
Wild: Pick a color. That color is now the color that resumes play. All players also advance to the closest Property of that color in the direction of play.
Wild Draw 4: Same as Wild, but the next player draws 4 UNO cards, and draws 4 Chance cards and performs their actions. This also functions as a Skip card, skipping their turn.
Draw 2: Same as Wild Draw 4, except it's no longer Wild, and you only draw 2 of each type of card instead of 4.
Don't forget to call “UNO” when you're down to one UNO card. If you don't, and another player notices, you must draw 2 UNO cards.
If you ever end a turn with no cards, at the start of your next turn, pick up 7 cards.
If the UNO draw deck ever runs out, shuffle all but the top card of the discard pile into a new draw deck.
If you go Bankrupt, do the following:
If the debt is owed to the Bank, all of your Properties go back up for sale on the board. Get Out of Jail Free cards are put on the bottom of their respective decks. All of your money is absorbed by the Bank. Your remaining UNO hand is shuffled and given to the remaining players.
If the debt is owed to another player, everything you have EXCEPT Get Out of Jail Free cards are given to the creditor. Either way, you are out of the game.
If you roll doubles, take another turn. You do not get another UNO move.
Skip cards in 2 player games function like doubles, and allow the player who played it to take another turn. You do get another UNO move.
If you cannot make an UNO move, you must draw one UNO card from the Draw deck.
The game ends when every Property has been purchased, all players have made it back to GO, and someone has gotten rid of their entire UNO hand.
If you have extra moves after GO, do not use them.
Once you have made it back to GO, continue to play UNO until someone has gotten rid of their hand. Do not draw Chance cards when hit with a Draw 2 or Wild Draw 4.
Once the game has ended, the UNO discard pile is shuffled into the Draw deck.
Players receive Rent for all of their Properties, from the Bank, and the player with the most money wins.
If every player except one has gone Bankrupt, the remaining player wins.

Back in February I was terminated from my job at a tribal casino for discussing my pay. I know what they did is illegal, and I have proof that it's the reason why they fired me. They wrote it on the termination paperwork that I kept, and I have the HR manager telling me she's aware it's illegal to fire someone for discussing their pay on audio recording (double checked it was in a one party consent state,) in my termination meeting, and that they were firing me for that reason, but they hold to the idea that it's unprofessional to do so.
On top of that, they made sure to screw me out of my unemployment (they proudly announce at orientation that they win most unemployment claims) because they say they cited professionalism in the handbook.
So I've reached out to several unemployment lawyers, it seems like it'd be a slam dunk case, it's in writing and audio recording plainly that they fired me for discussing my pay with coworkers. But every time I reach out to a different lawyer they seem optimistic and then suddenly I don't hear from them again. I call them back, nothing. I email them, nothing. Am I just crazy and the lawyers of america are just really busy right now? Or is there another reason why they disappear?
Also several years back, another employee sued the casino and won. He still works there to this day and they don't touch him. He gets away with just about everything. So it's not even really the fact that they are an "un-sueable" tribal casino.

Ciao a tutti.
Recentemente ho comprato un corso di Marco Casario e quello che ci ho trovato dentro merita decisamente un lungo commento.
Partiamo dal fatto che seguo Marco da molto tempo e in tutti questi anni sono passato da inizialmente scettico a fidarmi di lui. Non ho nessun dato per poterlo dire (se non quello che dice lui sulle sue performance), ma ho sempre pensato che sia una persona che ha studiato e sia un trader preparato.
Dato il costo dei suoi corsi, ho dovuto accumulare denaro a lungo per potermi permettere di spendere più di 3000€. Quando ho potuto finalmente comprarlo ero contentissimo: finalmente potevo mettermi a studiare per crearmi un'entrata secondaria ed arrotondare, mi sembrava un sogno che diventava realtà.
Purtroppo però, dopo aver guardato i primi video ho dovuto ricredermi. Il 95% del tempo passato davanti al PC mi sembrava tempo buttato, ogni video di 20 minuti o più era riassumibile con 1/2 frasi mirate. I video sono estremamente vecchi, registrati probabilmente all'inizio della sua carriera da youtuber. Nella sua inesperienza comunicativa di allora, molti concetti sono estremamente confusi e talvolta addirittura fuorvianti o errati. Insomma, una cosa che potrebbe essere detta in 30 secondi, viene detta in 20 minuti alla fine dei quali ti rimangono pure un casino di dubbi. Spesso mi sono trovato nella condizione di dover capire se un concetto che sembrava sbagliato fosse una svista sua o fossi io a non aver capito. Però a quanto pare non sono l'unico a perdermi dei pezzi: ogni decina di video c'è la registrazione di un ""webinar"" a cui risponde alle domande degli studenti. Qui abbiamo diversi problemi. Il primo è l'esistenza del webinar stesso: è essenziale solo perché i suoi video sono appunto confusi. Il secondo è che questi webinar durano ore, ancora una volta quasi totalmente vuote di contenuto.
L'ho sentito più volte pubblicizzare i suoi corsi mettendo tra i plus la loro lunga durata dovuta ad anni di accumulo di materiale. Dopo aver speso tutti questi soldi mi sento davvero preso per il culo. I suoi corsi potrebbero durare un ventesimo se li tenesse aggiornati. La maggior parte dei corsi che si trovano su Udemy o edX a 10€ vengono aggiornati una volta l'anno, quello di Casario da 3000€ sembra che non li abbia mai nemmeno riguardati. Personalmente sono estremamente deluso e se dovessi dargli oggi un valore economico dovrebbero pagarmi per guardarlo, altro che 3000€. Forse l'unico valore reale è la trading room dalla quale potete scopiazzare quello che fa lui. Il mio suggerimento è: se volete imparare qualcosa guardate altrove e non buttate via i vostri soldi, io mi sono fermato al 31% dei video.
Mi spiace, ma dopo un'esperienza del genere ho perso qualsiasi tipo di fiducia in tutto il materiale che vende (a prezzi assurdi). Sono ancora più arrabbiato quando nei suoi video lo sento dire che "ognuno ha quello che merita", perché qui siamo ai limiti della truffa e lui ha fatto i milioni vendendo merda.
Colgo l'occasione per ringraziare i suoi colleghi YouTuber che non gli hanno mai dato spazio, magari perché hanno capito prima di me il personaggio. Continuate così per favore.

My usual visits to a casino are just a night or two, this is the first time I'll be there for 4 days. My gambling budget is $3000, just curious how my fellow dice degens would plan out a trip like this. This casino is usually $25 minimum in the evenings on the weekend, there will probably be $10/15 during offpeak hours. I like to throw $15 (5/5/5) on the ATS since this place has 35/175/35 payouts, outside of that how would you spread your money/bets around?

So, I have a bit of a story here and I already hate myself for it so please give some grace and understand I was stupid.
When my mom and dad got divorced mom forfeited dad’s retirement and instead dad agreed to fund college. So then I started school and got minimal help. I was pretty much on my own going to school and working 40 hours a week. My dad has money, he is just cheap and on his fourth wife. He’s also a good man, just different than I am.
So when I started missing classes and I was working all the time I made really bad decisions. One of those was applying and accepting a parent plus loan and signing my dad’s name. Yes- I know I should probably have gone to jail. In my immaturity I thought I deserved it. So now we are almost 15 years later, I have been trying to make the payments but my dad has substantial income so substantial payments. I talked to my lawyer and because dad found out all those years ago and did nothing legal about it, at this point he’s involved and could also be in trouble. I am really close on my personal loans to being done with pslf.
I keep trying to consolidate that loan into my name- no dice. So every month as long as I email dad a reciept that it’s paid.. he doesn’t mention it. The man has worked hard his whole life and his forth wife almost left him. The balance has now almost doubled and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to mess up dad’s chance to retire. I also can’t continue to afford it. I keep hoping it might catch the Biden forgiveness thing but no such current luck.
Is there anything else I can try? Do you guys have any advice. I took the loans around 2007-9. The total now is 62k, I borrowed 38k. Please help.