Toddler pics jerkoff
Well-loved makeup
2014.02.27 01:56 deadpanorama Well-loved makeup
We are a judgment-free, supportive, and uplifting community of Project Panners, Makeup Addicts, Beauty-Obsessed Baddies, and Makeup/Skincare Enthusiasts celebrating your panning achievements with real product reviews by real people! A community for those wanting to cut down on beauty consumerism, to find inspiration to use up your beauty product collections, and to shop your stash! <3
2013.10.30 18:49 Adele Exarchopoulos
Community dedicated to French actress Adèle Exarchopoulos.
2012.10.03 13:46 yahoo_bot The Zendaya Coleman appreciation sub.
Zendaya Coleman
2024.05.19 06:36 Over_Friendship_1468 Im so embarrassed.
So my son was playing on my phone and posted the worst picture possible on my fb. Hes a toddler so it wasnt on purpose lol but i am so humiliated.. it wasnt a raunchy pic. It was a pic that i didnt even mean to take. It was an off guard type of picture i was scratching my nose. My friend called and was like " i dont want to offend you but did you mean to post that picture... it looks like ur picking ur nose" but i clearly wasnt... 14 ppl saw it and im so embarrassed
submitted by Over_Friendship_1468 to Anxiety [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 05:54 Neamx 27/F Looking for a long term friend hopefully
Let me start by saying every time I post here I get entirely too many messages to respond to each one immediately (I’m sorry if I take a day or two to get back to you!) but I try to focus on one person at a time.
Little about me, I’m a stay at home mum who is by herself all day except maybe an hour or two if I’m lucky (aside from a toddler) so I get lonely and would love to make some friends to talk to during the day. I’m a big night owl and would love someone else who stays up late. I’m EST and usually am up until after 2am everyday. I play video games most nights and if I’m not playing I’m reading a book (I read one book a day), watching kdramas or murder documentaries, or out taking in nature. I’m really into house plants rn so pls respond if you’ll appreciate my plant pics! If you’ve made it this far send me a little about you and let’s see if we click!
submitted by Neamx to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]
Little about me, I’m a stay at home mum who is by herself all day except maybe an hour or two if I’m lucky (aside from a toddler) so I get lonely and would love to make some friends to talk to during the day. I’m a big night owl and would love someone else who stays up late. I’m EST and usually am up until after 2am everyday. I play video games most nights and if I’m not playing I’m reading a book (I read one book a day), watching kdramas or murder documentaries, or out taking in nature. I’m really into house plants rn so pls respond if you’ll appreciate my plant pics! If you’ve made it this far send me a little about you and let’s see if we click!
2024.05.18 23:34 Canuck_Voyageur Where is the line between DID and other dis disorders?
I am probably not DID. I do refer to myself as the Dart Collective.
I am in therapy for CPTSD. Adding ADHD, and perhaps some Autism adds intererst. My doc precribed the ADHD drugs to see if they would help with my focus. They do. My T. says a diagnosis of autism wouldn't make any difference in treatment, and since it costs about a thousand bucks to get 6the diagnosis, I ahven't bothered. I test well above threshold on most of the online tests.
I've taken the DES II test a couple times. Depending on how literally I take the percentage answers I get a score between 15 and 30.
I'm pretty functional. My reaction to trauma was to numb emotions. Generally I don't find emotions very useful, and I find being able to partially mute them to be an advantage.
However in the 2 years of therapy, I've become more aware of my emotional state and more aware of somatics. I rarely fully dissociate. Dual awareness has helped me with this. In some ways it's too bad. Turning my brain off was convenient and peaceful.
Here's the new thing however:
I have a new form of hijacking. Perhaps it's always been here and only now am I noticing it.
Persona A: High energy. Almost manic. Quick witted, hard working, very positive. Confident.
Persona B: Down. Lower edge of window of tolerance. Indifferent. Doom scrolls. Reluctant to go to bed.
Persona C: Very creative. Improvises on piano. Comes up with lots of ideas.
Persona D: Toxic shame. Low libido. Asexual in outlook.
Persona E: Reckless. Ignores bad consequences.
Persona F: High Libido. Tries to hookup with half the guys on Grindr.
Persona G: Law abiding, rule follower.
Persona H: Rebel. Shit disturber.
These persona are not exclusive. I get mixes of them. Unlike emotional flashbackes persona mixes can hang around for days.
But I don't consider them alters: When I'm in a mix, the contrary components are just, well wrong. "That's just wrong", the Ace persona thinks about the HL persona.
Some naturally go together. E and H for example. But I can be E, without being H. E.g. As E I will try pushing harder on trampoline, but am not rebellious. As H: I can quietly and carefully plan my fecal material redistribution plots.
But I don't think of these as alters. Near as I can tell there is no discontinuity of memory. So they all share the same memory space.
So how do less capable parts become Alters?
Some extra info. I've recognized parts. Only a few have ever communicated in words. Mostly it's playing 20 questions visualling scenes and 'feeling' if there is a resonance. There have been some intrusive memories (e.g. I was tell my parts,"this was long ago. And it happened only once" and in my minds eye, a toddler stood, an expression of defiance on his face, right arm raised, with a hand with fingers splayed. And I **knew* that splayed fingers didn't mean Five,but rather it meant Many.)
The CSA at age 3 is at this point only highly probable. Changes in behaviour are consistent with it. But on top of this I don't seem to have formed much of an attachment bond with either parent. Parents didn't take to Dr. Spock, and so believed in the prior theory that children should be handled as little as possible consistent with them being fed, clean, and the right temperature. Fortunately my sister (13 yr older) stepped in. Sis also stopped one attempt of my mom to throw me at the wall.
I have a 2+ year old part, i think formed as a reaction to being left for 3 days at a local hospital. I needed eye surgery for a lazy eye. I have an early memory of standing in a crib, watching mom retreat down a hallway through a pair of double doors. I met this part in a lucid dream, hearing an argument coming from a house that matched the one I grew up in. Rest of the neighbourhood was very different. I call him bluestrip, as he wears a yellow tee with horizontal blue strips with faint green lines on the edges of the blue where the dye ran. Later I found pics of me wearing horizontally striped shirts. Alas, black and white pics.
There is Socks. He's post trauma, whatever happened. Refuses to be seen outside bed/bath not fully clothed. Including socks. Rest of my family was often barefoot. I also insisted on wearing underwear under my PJs Never went swimming. Never undressed to play in the sprinkler. Didn't wear shorts in summer until about age 9.
submitted by Canuck_Voyageur to DID [link] [comments]
I am in therapy for CPTSD. Adding ADHD, and perhaps some Autism adds intererst. My doc precribed the ADHD drugs to see if they would help with my focus. They do. My T. says a diagnosis of autism wouldn't make any difference in treatment, and since it costs about a thousand bucks to get 6the diagnosis, I ahven't bothered. I test well above threshold on most of the online tests.
I've taken the DES II test a couple times. Depending on how literally I take the percentage answers I get a score between 15 and 30.
I'm pretty functional. My reaction to trauma was to numb emotions. Generally I don't find emotions very useful, and I find being able to partially mute them to be an advantage.
However in the 2 years of therapy, I've become more aware of my emotional state and more aware of somatics. I rarely fully dissociate. Dual awareness has helped me with this. In some ways it's too bad. Turning my brain off was convenient and peaceful.
Here's the new thing however:
I have a new form of hijacking. Perhaps it's always been here and only now am I noticing it.
Persona A: High energy. Almost manic. Quick witted, hard working, very positive. Confident.
Persona B: Down. Lower edge of window of tolerance. Indifferent. Doom scrolls. Reluctant to go to bed.
Persona C: Very creative. Improvises on piano. Comes up with lots of ideas.
Persona D: Toxic shame. Low libido. Asexual in outlook.
Persona E: Reckless. Ignores bad consequences.
Persona F: High Libido. Tries to hookup with half the guys on Grindr.
Persona G: Law abiding, rule follower.
Persona H: Rebel. Shit disturber.
These persona are not exclusive. I get mixes of them. Unlike emotional flashbackes persona mixes can hang around for days.
But I don't consider them alters: When I'm in a mix, the contrary components are just, well wrong. "That's just wrong", the Ace persona thinks about the HL persona.
Some naturally go together. E and H for example. But I can be E, without being H. E.g. As E I will try pushing harder on trampoline, but am not rebellious. As H: I can quietly and carefully plan my fecal material redistribution plots.
But I don't think of these as alters. Near as I can tell there is no discontinuity of memory. So they all share the same memory space.
So how do less capable parts become Alters?
The CSA at age 3 is at this point only highly probable. Changes in behaviour are consistent with it. But on top of this I don't seem to have formed much of an attachment bond with either parent. Parents didn't take to Dr. Spock, and so believed in the prior theory that children should be handled as little as possible consistent with them being fed, clean, and the right temperature. Fortunately my sister (13 yr older) stepped in. Sis also stopped one attempt of my mom to throw me at the wall.
I have a 2+ year old part, i think formed as a reaction to being left for 3 days at a local hospital. I needed eye surgery for a lazy eye. I have an early memory of standing in a crib, watching mom retreat down a hallway through a pair of double doors. I met this part in a lucid dream, hearing an argument coming from a house that matched the one I grew up in. Rest of the neighbourhood was very different. I call him bluestrip, as he wears a yellow tee with horizontal blue strips with faint green lines on the edges of the blue where the dye ran. Later I found pics of me wearing horizontally striped shirts. Alas, black and white pics.
There is Socks. He's post trauma, whatever happened. Refuses to be seen outside bed/bath not fully clothed. Including socks. Rest of my family was often barefoot. I also insisted on wearing underwear under my PJs Never went swimming. Never undressed to play in the sprinkler. Didn't wear shorts in summer until about age 9.
2024.05.18 20:59 DumbledoreArmy94 Perfect Saturdays without kids are amazing
Happy Saturday!
The weather is beautiful. I woke up to no alarm clock, made my favorite coffee ☕️, and watered the children (my plants) in my PJs while enjoying the sweet sound of silence. I made pancakes from scratch (no children complaining or sharing!), finished a leisurely book, and got an invitation from friends to go hiking. On the way back from this hike we plan to grab some smoothies (again, no children demanding for certain flavors or complaining about our selection), take edibles, and do art. Going home and planning bedtime is going to be whenever we decide. (There will be no arguing with kids about sleep, so nice.) I will then personally decide if I want to catch up on some of my Hulu shows I am watching or read another book in peace before not setting an alarm clock again! I could even do a night drive at 2 A.M. f I choose because I’m not limited to watching kids! I will also wake up to no food missing in the morning.
Tomorrow I can choose to do chores or go grocery shopping without time or food constraints. I could also sit in silence and do nothing without child obligations if I choose.
Meanwhile …
I just hopped on social media to see parents had posted going to kid sports’ events at 4/5 A.M., parents wishing they could day-drink or get high but “needing to fulfill kid obligations” or posting messy pics of toddler temper tantrums (but also captioning how much they ‘love’ their lives) and being exhausted while showing themselves cleaning messy houses with toys everywhere. One person even posted they “live for their kids” while trying to bathe a dog after their child had smeared poop everywhere. Schools are starting to go on summer break and some parents (specifically moms on the ig feed) are already complaining about being home with their kids all day. One dad brought his kids to the pool and lasted a total of five minutes before leaving after being kicked out due to his children splashing other people and screaming.
I am convinced most parents use their social media platforms to convince themselves they do not regret falling for the life script of having children. Misery loves company, right?
Thank you for reading if you made it this far, how is your weekend going?
submitted by DumbledoreArmy94 to childfree [link] [comments]
The weather is beautiful. I woke up to no alarm clock, made my favorite coffee ☕️, and watered the children (my plants) in my PJs while enjoying the sweet sound of silence. I made pancakes from scratch (no children complaining or sharing!), finished a leisurely book, and got an invitation from friends to go hiking. On the way back from this hike we plan to grab some smoothies (again, no children demanding for certain flavors or complaining about our selection), take edibles, and do art. Going home and planning bedtime is going to be whenever we decide. (There will be no arguing with kids about sleep, so nice.) I will then personally decide if I want to catch up on some of my Hulu shows I am watching or read another book in peace before not setting an alarm clock again! I could even do a night drive at 2 A.M. f I choose because I’m not limited to watching kids! I will also wake up to no food missing in the morning.
Tomorrow I can choose to do chores or go grocery shopping without time or food constraints. I could also sit in silence and do nothing without child obligations if I choose.
Meanwhile …
I just hopped on social media to see parents had posted going to kid sports’ events at 4/5 A.M., parents wishing they could day-drink or get high but “needing to fulfill kid obligations” or posting messy pics of toddler temper tantrums (but also captioning how much they ‘love’ their lives) and being exhausted while showing themselves cleaning messy houses with toys everywhere. One person even posted they “live for their kids” while trying to bathe a dog after their child had smeared poop everywhere. Schools are starting to go on summer break and some parents (specifically moms on the ig feed) are already complaining about being home with their kids all day. One dad brought his kids to the pool and lasted a total of five minutes before leaving after being kicked out due to his children splashing other people and screaming.
I am convinced most parents use their social media platforms to convince themselves they do not regret falling for the life script of having children. Misery loves company, right?
Thank you for reading if you made it this far, how is your weekend going?
2024.05.18 20:13 Evening-Branch-2376 Yes, exactly. Nobody. Cares.
 | She played herself with this post. submitted by Evening-Branch-2376 to claraandherself_snark [link] [comments] Another excuse to brag about breastfeeding under the disguise that she's trying to encourage others. She's still waiting for her medal guys! Who's gonna give her one? |
2024.05.18 06:11 Sweet-Count2557 15 Free Things to Do With Kids in Orlando
 | 15 Free Things to Do With Kids in Orlando Are you ready to embark on a cost-effective adventure with your little ones in the magical city of Orlando? Well, hold onto your hats because we've got just the ticket!In this article, we'll unveil a treasure trove of 15 free activities that are sure to keep your kids entertained and your wallet happy. From enchanting attractions at renowned spots like Disney Springs, Disney's BoardWalk, and Universal CityWalk, to immersive nature and wildlife experiences, and even cool splash pads to beat the Florida heat, we've got it all.But that's not all, as we'll also dive into the world of indoor playgrounds, parks, gardens, and educational programs.So, hang tight and get ready for a family-friendly adventure like no other in the heart of Orlando!Key TakeawaysThere are several free attractions at Disney Springs, Disney's BoardWalk, and Universal CityWalk, including splash pads, street performers, and complimentary boat rides.Nature and wildlife experiences can be enjoyed at places like Lake Apopka Wildlife Drive, Bonnet Springs Park, and Disney Wilderness Preserve.Families can cool off and have fun at free splash pads located throughout Orlando.Indoor playgrounds and entertainment options, such as the World's Largest McDonald's & PlayPlace, provide a fun and safe environment for kids to play.Free Attractions at Disney Springs, Disney's BoardWalk, and Universal CityWalkLooking for free family-friendly attractions in Orlando? Discover the exciting and budget-friendly options available at Disney Springs, Disney's BoardWalk, and Universal CityWalk. These vibrant entertainment districts offer a wide range of activities that are perfect for families looking to have fun without breaking the bank.At Disney Springs, you can enjoy free admission and explore a variety of attractions. Let your little ones cool off at the splash pad, where they can splash and play to their heart's content. If your kids love building with Legos, make sure to stop by the Lego store, which features free build areas where they can let their creativity soar. For a prehistoric adventure, head to T-Rex Café's Paleo Zone, where your kids can participate in hands-on activities and learn about dinosaurs. And don't forget to take advantage of the free ferry boat rides, which offer a fun and scenic way to get around.Disney's BoardWalk is another fantastic option for free family-friendly entertainment. Take a stroll along the boardwalk and enjoy the lively street performers, who'll dazzle you with their talents. Make sure to stop by Ample Hills Creamery for a free sample of their delicious ice cream. You can also have a picnic along the waterfront and soak in the picturesque views. And if you're feeling adventurous, take advantage of the free ferry boat rides or hop on the Skyliner aerial gondolas for a unique and exciting experience.Universal CityWalk also offers a range of free activities for families. After 6pm, you can enjoy free self-parking, saving you some extra cash. Let your kids splash and play in the splash area, where they can cool off and have fun. Dance the night away with live DJs and dance parties, creating lasting memories with your loved ones. And don't forget to take advantage of the complimentary water taxi rides, which provide convenient transportation and a unique way to explore the area.With these free attractions at Disney Springs, Disney's BoardWalk, and Universal CityWalk, you can enjoy a memorable and budget-friendly day out with your family in Orlando. So pack your bags, grab your kids, and get ready to have a blast without spending a dime.Nature and Wildlife ExperiencesLet's explore the wonders of nature and wildlife in Orlando, where families can immerse themselves in exciting and educational experiences. Orlando isn't just about theme parks and entertainment; it's also home to a variety of nature and wildlife attractions that are perfect for families seeking adventure and exploration. From wildlife drives to hiking trails, there are plenty of options to choose from.One of the must-visit destinations is the Lake Apopka Wildlife Drive. This 11-mile drive allows you to observe alligators, birds, snakes, otters, and even bobcats, all from the comfort and safety of your own vehicle. The natural environments along the drive provide a unique opportunity to learn about and appreciate the local wildlife.For a day trip from Orlando, families can visit Bonnet Springs Park. This free outdoor attraction features a canopy walk and treehouse, as well as multiple play areas for kids. It's the perfect place to immerse yourself in nature and let your children's imaginations run wild.Another option is the Disney Wilderness Preserve, which offers free hiking trails and bird-watching opportunities. Families can also visit the Conservation Learning Center to learn more about the importance of conservation and environmental stewardship. Donations are appreciated to support the preservation efforts.If you're looking for a more relaxed experience, the Oakland Nature Preserve is a great choice. With free admission and open 365 days a year, families can explore the museum and education center, as well as enjoy the NaturePlay trail and boardwalk overlooking Lake Apopka.These are just a few examples of the nature and wildlife experiences available in Orlando. Whether you're interested in observing wildlife, hiking, or learning about conservation, there's something for everyone. So, get out there and enjoy the natural beauty that Orlando has to offer!Water Play and Splash PadsAs we continue our exploration of the wonders of Orlando, let's now dive into the refreshing world of water play and splash pads.Orlando is known for its hot and sunny weather, making water play a perfect way to cool off and have fun without breaking the bank.There are several free splash pads located throughout Orlando that are open year-round and offer family-friendly fun. These splash pads provide a safe environment for kids to enjoy water play and stay cool during the hot summer months. They're equipped with various water features like sprinklers, fountains, and water jets, creating a fun and interactive experience for children of all ages.One of the best things about these splash pads is that they're free to use, allowing families to enjoy water play without any additional costs. Whether you're looking to spend a few hours or a whole day, these splash pads are a great option for a fun-filled outing.Not only do these splash pads provide a refreshing way to beat the heat, but they also offer a chance for kids to socialize and make new friends. The vibrant and lively atmosphere of the splash pads creates a sense of community, making it the perfect place for kids to interact and play together.Indoor Playgrounds and EntertainmentWhen it comes to indoor fun and entertainment for the whole family, Orlando has a wide variety of options to choose from. Whether you want to escape the Florida heat or find something to do on a rainy day, there are plenty of free indoor playgrounds and entertainment venues to keep the kids entertained.One popular choice is the World's Largest McDonald's & PlayPlace. This two-story attraction boasts an arcade and indoor playground, perfect for letting the kids burn off some energy. There's even a toddler area for the little ones. And the best part? It's all free! Plus, they offer free entertainment, making it the perfect spot for a family outing.If you're looking for more options, there are also several other free indoor play areas in Orlando. These locations provide a safe and supervised environment for kids to let loose and have fun. With engaging activities and play structures, these indoor playgrounds are sure to keep the whole family entertained.When visiting Orlando, it's important to find activities that allow for freedom and flexibility, without breaking the bank. These free indoor playgrounds and entertainment venues provide just that. So whether you're looking to beat the heat or find something to do on a rainy day, Orlando has you covered with a variety of options to choose from.Get ready for a day of fun, laughter, and family bonding at these exciting indoor destinations.Parks and GardensOrlando's parks and gardens offer a serene and peaceful escape for families looking to immerse themselves in nature and enjoy outdoor activities. Whether you're seeking a picturesque garden, a scenic park, or a tranquil oasis, Orlando has plenty of options to choose from. Here are some of the best parks and gardens in Orlando that families can explore for free:Park/GardenHighlightsActivitiesCranes Roost ParkChoreographed fountain display, nightly showsEnjoy the park's beauty, free entertainment for allHontoon Island State ParkSituated on an island, playground for kids, fishing, hiking, small museumAccessible by private boat or free park ferryLake Lotus ParkLooped nature trails, education center, fishing pier, playgroundExplore nature, learn about wildlifeKraft Azalea Garden5-acre lakefront park, ideal for taking photos, beautiful azalea bloomsEnjoy a peaceful and serene atmosphereBig Tree ParkTrailhead for the Cross Seminole Trail, playground for kids, boardwalks through a natural hammockGo for a family bike ride, explore the natural surroundingsHarry P. Leu GardensBeautiful botanical gardens, variety of plant species, perfect for nature loversRelax and enjoy the peaceful atmosphereGemini Springs ParkScenic park with nature trails, biking and bridge loop trails, playground for kidsHave a picnic, enjoy outdoor activitiesGeneva Wilderness AreaTwo-mile loop trail, onsite nature center, perfect for hiking and nature walksLearn about the local flora and faunaPalm Island ParkScenic boardwalk overlooking Lake Dora, nearby Gilbert Park for kids to playEnjoy a picnic with beautiful lake viewsDinky Dock ParkLaunch small watercraft, tour the canals, small swimming beachHave fun on the water, explore the canalsThese parks and gardens provide the perfect opportunity for families to connect with nature, breathe in the fresh air, and enjoy quality time together. Whether you're strolling through a garden, going for a hike, or simply enjoying a picnic, these free outdoor spaces offer a variety of activities for everyone to enjoy. So pack a picnic, grab your walking shoes, and explore the natural beauty that Orlando has to offer!Educational and Cultural ExperiencesImmerse your family in a world of learning and cultural exploration with Orlando's educational and cultural experiences. Orlando isn't just about theme parks and attractions; it also offers a wide range of opportunities for your children to expand their knowledge and discover new cultures.One such experience is the Oakland Nature Preserve. With free admission and open 365 days a year, this preserve features a museum and education center where your kids can learn about the local ecosystem. They can also explore the NaturePlay trail and boardwalk, which offers a unique perspective overlooking Lake Apopka.The University of Central Florida Arboretum is another educational gem. This 82-acre nature park is open to the public and offers a nature trail and boardwalk for your family to enjoy. Pack a picnic lunch and spend the day surrounded by beautiful flora and fauna.If your kids are train enthusiasts, the Central Florida Railroad Museum is a must-visit. This free museum showcases the history of railroads through engaging exhibits. It's both educational and informative, making it suitable for all ages.For a more thought-provoking experience, consider visiting the Holocaust Memorial Resource and Education Center of Central Florida. This center uses the history and lessons of the Holocaust to promote tolerance and understanding. Through educational exhibits and programs, it seeks to build a just and caring community.Orlando isn't just about fun and entertainment; it also offers enriching educational and cultural experiences for your family. Take advantage of these free opportunities to broaden your children's horizons and create lasting memories.Events and FestivalsGet ready to immerse your family in a world of fun and excitement with the vibrant events and festivals that Orlando has to offer. Here are three incredible events and festivals that you can enjoy for free with your kids:Sanford PorchFest: This annual event takes place in Sanford's historic district and features performances from a variety of artists. As you stroll through the neighborhood, you'll be treated to live music on porches throughout the area. It's a unique and lively experience that the whole family can enjoy.Casa Feliz Open House: Held monthly, this event at Casa Feliz, a historic home in Winter Park, offers live music and docent-led tours. Explore the beautiful architecture and learn about the history of this enchanting house. It's a great opportunity for kids to appreciate and learn about local history.Popcorn Flicks in the Park: Once a month, you can gather the family for a free outdoor movie night in Central Park. Bring your blankets and snacks, and enjoy a family-friendly film under the stars. It's a magical experience that will create lasting memories for everyone.These events and festivals are just a taste of the excitement that awaits your family in Orlando. Whether you're exploring the historic streets of Sanford, immersing yourself in local culture at Casa Feliz, or enjoying a movie night in the park, there's always something fun happening in this vibrant city.Libraries and Learning ProgramsWhen it comes to learning and exploring in Orlando, families can take advantage of the many libraries and learning programs available.Orlando is home to a variety of libraries that offer engaging and educational activities for kids of all ages. One such program is the Orange County Libraries Local Wanderer Program. With an OCLS library card, families can receive free passes to local attractions, museums, concerts, and sporting events. This is a fantastic opportunity to expose children to new experiences and foster a love for learning.Another great option for families is the Winter Park Library Book Boxes. Each month, families can reserve a free book box that includes books for loan, snacks, and other surprises. This is a wonderful way to encourage reading and spend quality time together as a family.For Disney fans, the Disney Collection at the Orlando Public Library is a must-visit. This collection is a treasure trove of Disney books and memorabilia, including photos, periodicals, and press kits. It's a perfect opportunity to delve into the magical world of Disney and learn more about its history and impact.These libraries and learning programs not only provide educational opportunities for children but also encourage a love for reading, exploration, and lifelong learning.Miscellaneous Free ActivitiesAs we continue exploring all the exciting things to do in Orlando, let's now turn our attention to the realm of miscellaneous free activities. From wildlife exhibits to stargazing adventures, there are plenty of unique and budget-friendly experiences that the whole family can enjoy.Here are three miscellaneous free activities that will add some excitement to your Orlando itinerary:Black Hammock Live Gator Exhibit: Located on Lake Jessup, this attraction offers more than just gator sightings. You can enjoy a delicious meal at the restaurant while observing live bird and gator exhibits. It's a great opportunity to learn about these fascinating creatures and get up close and personal with them. Best of all, it's free for visiting, so you can have a thrilling experience without breaking the bank.Knights Under the Stars: If you're looking for a truly out-of-this-world experience, head to the Robinson Observatory at UCF. They host a free event called Knights Under the Stars where guests can observe the night sky through telescopes manned by knowledgeable volunteers. It's a fantastic opportunity to learn about astronomy and discover the wonders of the universe together as a family.Take Photos at Mills 50: For those who appreciate art and want to capture some memorable moments, Mills 50 is the perfect spot. This vibrant neighborhood is adorned with artistic murals that serve as the perfect backdrop for Instagram-worthy pics. Take a leisurely stroll and discover the stunning street art that showcases the creativity and diversity of the local community. Best of all, it's completely free to explore and snap some amazing photos.With these miscellaneous free activities in Orlando, you can create lasting memories without spending a dime. Whether you're observing live gators, gazing at the stars, or capturing beautiful murals, there's something for everyone in the family to enjoy. So go ahead, embrace the freedom of these budget-friendly experiences and have a fantastic time exploring all that Orlando has to offer.Lake Apopka Wildlife DriveLake Apopka Wildlife Drive offers families the opportunity to observe a wide variety of wildlife in their natural habitats while driving along an 11-mile route. This unique experience allows you to explore the beauty of nature without even leaving the comfort of your vehicle. As you drive through the wildlife drive, you'll have the chance to spot alligators, birds, snakes, otters, bobcats, and many other fascinating creatures that call Lake Apopka home.The drive takes you through diverse ecosystems, including marshes, wetlands, and wooded areas, providing a glimpse into the rich biodiversity of Central Florida. It's a perfect way to immerse yourself in nature and teach your kids about the importance of wildlife conservation.One of the great things about Lake Apopka Wildlife Drive is that it's completely free. You can embark on this adventure with your family without worrying about any entrance fees or tickets. It's a budget-friendly option that allows you to enjoy nature without breaking the bank.Safety and comfort are also priorities at Lake Apopka Wildlife Drive. The drive is designed to ensure that you can observe the wildlife from a safe distance, keeping both you and the animals protected. Plus, you can enjoy the drive at your own pace, taking as much time as you need to appreciate the beauty around you.Bonnet Springs ParkAfter immersing ourselves in the diverse wildlife of Lake Apopka Wildlife Drive, our family was excited to continue our nature adventure at Bonnet Springs Park. This free outdoor attraction offers a variety of activities that are perfect for a day trip from Orlando.Here are three reasons why we loved exploring Bonnet Springs Park:Canopy Walk and Treehouse: As soon as we entered the park, we were greeted by a stunning canopy walk. We climbed up the winding stairs and found ourselves immersed in the treetops, with breathtaking views of the surrounding nature. The kids couldn't get enough of the treehouse, where they let their imaginations run wild. It was a unique and thrilling experience for all of us.Multiple Play Areas: Bonnet Springs Park is a paradise for kids. We discovered multiple play areas scattered throughout the park, each offering a different theme and set of activities. From climbing structures to swings and slides, our little ones had a blast exploring and burning off their energy. It was great to see them freely enjoying themselves in a safe and supervised environment.Natural Beauty: One of the things we loved most about Bonnet Springs Park was its natural beauty. The park is meticulously maintained, with well-groomed paths, lush greenery, and vibrant flowers. We took leisurely strolls along the scenic trails, taking in the peaceful atmosphere and enjoying the sights and sounds of nature. It was a refreshing break from the hustle and bustle of the city.Disney Wilderness PreserveOur family was thrilled to explore the Disney Wilderness Preserve, a hidden gem for nature lovers and outdoor enthusiasts visiting Orlando. As soon as we arrived, we were greeted by the serene beauty of the 12,000-acre preserve. We couldn't believe that such a peaceful oasis was just a short drive away from the hustle and bustle of the theme parks.The preserve offers a variety of free activities that are perfect for families. We started our adventure by hiking the scenic trails, surrounded by lush vegetation and the sounds of native wildlife. It was a great way to connect with nature and escape the crowds. Along the way, we spotted a wide array of bird species, including herons and eagles, which was a treat for our little nature enthusiasts.One of the highlights of our visit was the Conservation Learning Center. This interactive facility provided us with valuable information about the importance of preserving our natural environment. The kids had a blast participating in hands-on exhibits and learning about the various ecosystems found within the preserve.We were also impressed by the preservation efforts of the Disney Wilderness Preserve. The staff is dedicated to protecting the native habitats and educating visitors about the importance of conservation. They rely on donations to support their conservation initiatives, so we happily made a contribution to help ensure the preserve's longevity.Oakland Nature PreserveNestled in the heart of Oakland, the Oakland Nature Preserve offers families a captivating and educational outdoor experience. Here are three reasons why you should visit this hidden gem:Free Admission: At the Oakland Nature Preserve, you can enjoy a day of exploration without spending a dime. With no entrance fees, you can bring your whole family and immerse yourselves in the beauty of nature without breaking the bank.Educational Opportunities: The preserve features a museum and education center where you and your kids can learn about the local flora and fauna. Take a leisurely stroll along the NaturePlay trail and boardwalk, while observing the diverse wildlife that calls Lake Apopka home. It's a great way to spark curiosity and teach your children about the importance of environmental conservation.Breathtaking Views: One of the highlights of the Oakland Nature Preserve is its stunning view of Lake Apopka. As you explore the trails and boardwalks, you'll be treated to picturesque scenes of the lake and its surrounding landscape. It's the perfect backdrop for family photos and a chance to appreciate the natural beauty of Central Florida.Ocala National ForestOcala National Forest offers families a captivating and immersive outdoor experience filled with natural beauty and exciting adventures. With over 600 lakes and rivers, 100 miles of paved roads, and several hiking trails, this forest is a paradise for nature enthusiasts. It's the perfect destination for families who crave freedom and want to explore the great outdoors.One of the highlights of Ocala National Forest is the opportunity to witness stunning wildlife sightings. From majestic alligators to colorful birds, you never know what you might encounter during your visit. The forest's diverse ecosystems provide a comfortable and safe environment for observing these fascinating creatures in their natural habitats.For those seeking even more adventure, Ocala National Forest offers a unique glimpse into history. Explore the remains of a 19th-century homestead or marvel at the sinkholes scattered throughout the forest. These remnants serve as a reminder of the rich history that surrounds this area and add an extra layer of excitement to your outdoor exploration.Whether you choose to embark on a scenic hike, paddle along one of the many lakes, or simply enjoy a peaceful picnic surrounded by nature, Ocala National Forest offers endless possibilities for family fun. It's a place where you can truly disconnect from the hustle and bustle of everyday life and connect with the beauty of the natural world.Visit a Splash PadWhen it comes to finding free and fun ways to beat the heat in Orlando, visiting a splash pad is a fantastic option for families. Not only is it a great way for kids to cool off and have fun, but it also provides a sense of freedom as they splash around in the water.Here are three reasons why visiting a splash pad is a must-do activity in Orlando:Free and Family-Friendly: Splash pads in Orlando are open year-round and offer free admission. This means that families can enjoy a day of water play without spending a dime. Splash pads are designed with kids in mind, with shallow pools, water fountains, and interactive features that provide endless entertainment. It's the perfect place for children to let loose, make new friends, and create lasting memories.Stay Cool and Have Fun: Orlando's splash pads are a haven for beating the heat. With the Florida sun shining bright, a splash pad provides a refreshing escape for both kids and parents. The water play keeps everyone cool and comfortable, allowing families to enjoy the outdoors without worrying about overheating. Plus, the joy and laughter that come from splashing in the water make for a fun-filled day.Enjoy Water Play for Free: Visiting a splash pad gives families the freedom to enjoy water play without any added costs. There's no need to worry about expensive water parks or admission fees. Splash pads provide a safe and supervised environment for kids to have a blast in the water, all while allowing parents to relax and enjoy the experience. It's a win-win situation for everyone.Frequently Asked QuestionsAre There Any Age Restrictions for the Free Attractions at Disney Springs, Disney's Boardwalk, and Universal Citywalk?There are no age restrictions for the free attractions at Disney Springs, Disney's BoardWalk, and Universal CityWalk. These attractions offer something for everyone in the family to enjoy.From splash pads and free build areas at the Lego store to live DJs and dance parties, there's plenty of fun for kids of all ages.Are There Any Guided Tours Available at Lake Apopka Wildlife Drive, Bonnet Springs Park, Disney Wilderness Preserve, Oakland Nature Preserve, and Ocala National Forest?There are guided tours available at Lake Apopka Wildlife Drive, Bonnet Springs Park, Disney Wilderness Preserve, Oakland Nature Preserve, and Ocala National Forest.These tours offer a fantastic opportunity to explore the natural beauty and wildlife of Orlando.Whether you're observing alligators and birds from your vehicle at Lake Apopka Wildlife Drive or hiking the trails at Disney Wilderness Preserve, these guided tours provide educational and engaging experiences for the whole family.Are There Any Specific Safety Guidelines or Precautions to Keep in Mind While Visiting the Splash Pads?When visiting splash pads in Orlando, it's important to keep some safety guidelines in mind.First, ensure that your children are supervised at all times to prevent any accidents.Make sure they wear appropriate swimwear and apply sunscreen to protect their skin from the sun.Remind them to follow any rules or instructions posted at the splash pad.Lastly, encourage them to take regular breaks and stay hydrated to avoid overheating.What Are the Operating Hours of the Indoor Playgrounds and Entertainment Venues Mentioned in the Article?The operating hours of the indoor playgrounds and entertainment venues mentioned in the article vary, so it's best to check their websites or call ahead for the most up-to-date information.These attractions provide a safe and supervised environment for kids to let loose and have fun, away from the Florida heat or rain.With engaging activities and free entertainment, they're perfect for family outings.Let your little ones enjoy playtime while you relax and enjoy some downtime.Are There Any Special Events or Programs Offered at the Libraries Mentioned in the Article, Such as Storytimes or Workshops for Kids?At the libraries mentioned in the article, there are indeed special events and programs for kids! They offer storytimes and workshops that are perfect for little ones. These activities provide a fun and educational experience for the whole family.It's a great way to spend quality time together and encourage a love for reading and learning. So, be sure to check out the libraries and see what exciting events they've in store for your children. They're sure to be a hit!ConclusionIn conclusion, Orlando is a treasure trove of fun and affordable activities for kids.From exploring free attractions at popular spots like Disney Springs and Universal CityWalk, to getting up close and personal with nature at Lake Apopka Wildlife Drive and Bonnet Springs Park, there's no shortage of excitement.And let's not forget about the splash pads and indoor playgrounds for those hot or rainy days.So grab your family and embark on a budget-friendly adventure in the vibrant city of Orlando.Happy exploring! submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments] |
2024.05.17 23:31 seliskar Senior Naughtiness and Weird Stuff
My senior Peke, Twinkie, is around 10 years old now. She's been on phenobarbital for a little over 2 months to control idiopathic epilepsy. Well, I swear, I have a totally different dog now!
For the most part, she seems happier, more active and playful. But it almost seems like the pheno "reactivated" an old spinal injury (7+ years ago) that left her partially paralyzed temporarily - she could walk and potty just fine, but she had no feeling or reaction to stimuli to her rear paws (the vet said her being mobile was involuntary or subconscious, or out of instinct or habit?). She was on crate rest for 6 weeks and on prednisone, rimadyl and dasuquin advanced, and after all that, she was back to normal. And now, she's very wobbly in the rear end, clumsy, and when playing with a toy will throw it around and sort of pivot on her butt to turn to get it, so she's using her whole front of her body, but barely any of her butt or back legs. She walks, runs, jumps and potties just fine, though, so it doesn't seem to be a problem. Her labs and liver levels 3 weeks after starting the pheno were normal. Anyways...
Here's the weird stuff:
Anyways, I've added a video of her and the sock plus pics for funsies. She's such a sweet, innocent looking demon dog! SHE seems to think she's a Rottweiler, and is fearless (for the most part). She's just a little weirdo, and I wish I could understand her. That's my one issue with rescues, is you never truly know what their previous life was like. Clearly she has trauma. She had a broken rib at some point, and it healed sticking out. But I love her so much, and she is the first dog I've had that has been loyal to me... I'm her person. All our previous dogs and rescues bonded to my husband... he was an animal and kid magnet! So that part is nice. I love that she's independent and doesn't NEED to be on or near me all the time, and doesn't whine when I leave (most of the time). She's very sweet with me, and so she's mine and I'm hers.
https://reddit.com/link/1cugw3v/video/bgsgvufo121d1/player
https://preview.redd.it/0a1ny9fs121d1.jpg?width=1521&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36e923050ae0508509d9c4f05e3a3b3726de0590
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submitted by seliskar to Pekingese [link] [comments]
For the most part, she seems happier, more active and playful. But it almost seems like the pheno "reactivated" an old spinal injury (7+ years ago) that left her partially paralyzed temporarily - she could walk and potty just fine, but she had no feeling or reaction to stimuli to her rear paws (the vet said her being mobile was involuntary or subconscious, or out of instinct or habit?). She was on crate rest for 6 weeks and on prednisone, rimadyl and dasuquin advanced, and after all that, she was back to normal. And now, she's very wobbly in the rear end, clumsy, and when playing with a toy will throw it around and sort of pivot on her butt to turn to get it, so she's using her whole front of her body, but barely any of her butt or back legs. She walks, runs, jumps and potties just fine, though, so it doesn't seem to be a problem. Her labs and liver levels 3 weeks after starting the pheno were normal. Anyways...
Here's the weird stuff:
- She has never been a dog to get into trouble or find mischief. She plays with her toys nicely and never breaks or rips them. All of sudden, Twinkie is a naughty pants! Yesterday, she found one of my adult kid's dirty socks, and I caught her chewing on it! She let me take it and put it up without a problem. But today, she found another sock, and did NOT want to give it up. Out of fear of getting bitten, my kid used my grabber tool to try to take it, and Twinkie went after it! What the heck? It's like she was invoking my first Peke, Lily, whose favorite "toys" were my late husband's dirty socks!!! I've never seen another dog do that in the last 15 years! Lily never guarded them in a nasty way, but in a teasing way. She wouldn't even play with toys, JUST the socks! Also, since starting this medication, Twinkie has been copying my kid's Pomsky (who we got October 2022) and shredding Kleenex! I know dogs learn things from other dogs, but for Twinkie, it's JUST the naughty things.. and vice versa, Maple (the Pomsky) has learned to guard things from Twinkie.
- Twinkie has gotten SUPER whiny, annoyingly so, since beginning phenobarbital. She whines when she's nesting, whines whilst asleep, whines for no apparent reason, but the worst is the whining in the morning! It's like her internal clock is way out of whack. She normally eats breakfast between 10 and 11am (it used to be 9 - 9:30 until these issues started), and dinner at 8:30. Well, now she thinks if the sun is up, and someone got up to use the bathroom, it's time for breakfast, and if it's around 7pm, she demands dinner. The mornings are the worst - the sun starts coming up around 5am, and she'll start whining and yipping LOUDLY anytime between 6am and whenever I feed her. The earliest I'll feed her is 10:30am, the latest 11am. Dinner is the same, except she starts around 7pm, and I feed her earliest at 8:30pm, the latest is 9pm. I'm being strict about the schedule, because she's been so disruptive to me & my adult kids - one who is disabled with ASD + mental health diagnoses, the other who works 2 jobs and also has mental health diagnoses - that we're all exhausted and struggling to perform our daily duties. I've begun putting her on a leash at the first whine of the morning and night, and keeping her close to me, which seems to help, but I still have to get up early to do it... which leaves me needing a nap midday! I'd keep her in my bed overnight, but for a 10 lb dog, she takes up a LOT of space on my bed! She insists on laying the wide way and will push me to the very edge of my bed, which interrupts my sleep. So, for now, the leash is helping the other 2 humans get their necessary sleep at least.
- She's been "corncobbing" the Pomsky when they're playing. I don't know if corncobbing is the same kind of thing as "pibble nibbles", but Twinkie is doing that when she's NEVER done it before. You know where they just use the front of their teeth and take tiny little bites in a row? My second oldest daughter has a Boxer Pit mix that corncobs, but I've never seen another dog do it aside from her. Twinkie just started the corncobbing and also play biting the Pomsky about 2 weeks ago. She does it on her butt, legs, and neck.
- She's been just sitting outside in the rain during her potty breaks, and she has always hated rain! Up until a week ago, if it was raining, she'd walk the edge of the house under the eaves to go potty, and come right back in afterwards. Some rainy days she just skips pooping altogether, she hates it that much! Oddly, she likes snow! But that's just weird for her, to just sit on the sidewalk, getting rained on and not wanting to come in, even with treat bribes.
- She's not more cranky than usual - she's always been a crotchety old hag of a dog - but she's been more bitey than normal, and picks fights with the Pomsky and is always warning the Boxer mix. If she's in a bad mood (which has always been a LOT of the time), if another dog gets within 8 feet of her or her things - her things include everything in the room, including me - she's growling, baring teeth and lunging at them.
Anyways, I've added a video of her and the sock plus pics for funsies. She's such a sweet, innocent looking demon dog! SHE seems to think she's a Rottweiler, and is fearless (for the most part). She's just a little weirdo, and I wish I could understand her. That's my one issue with rescues, is you never truly know what their previous life was like. Clearly she has trauma. She had a broken rib at some point, and it healed sticking out. But I love her so much, and she is the first dog I've had that has been loyal to me... I'm her person. All our previous dogs and rescues bonded to my husband... he was an animal and kid magnet! So that part is nice. I love that she's independent and doesn't NEED to be on or near me all the time, and doesn't whine when I leave (most of the time). She's very sweet with me, and so she's mine and I'm hers.
https://reddit.com/link/1cugw3v/video/bgsgvufo121d1/player
https://preview.redd.it/0a1ny9fs121d1.jpg?width=1521&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36e923050ae0508509d9c4f05e3a3b3726de0590
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2024.05.17 17:03 NDPAOfficial We are water safety experts from the National Drowning Prevention Alliance! Ask us anything about keeping kids safe near water!
Introduction
I'm Adam Katchmarchi, CEO of the National Drowning Prevention Alliance (NDPA). I'm Julie Gilchrist, Chief Medical Director at the NDPA. We are water safety experts! Ask us anything about keeping kids safe near water!
Overview
May is National Water Safety Month and we have assembled a panel of experts to answer any questions that parents and caregivers might have about water safety and drowning prevention. The AMA will be in support of the National Drowning Prevention Alliance's #FirstSport Campaign that launched on May 1st and is meant to cause pause in the mind of parents/caregivers as to consider what sport they really should be teaching their children first - not football, not soccer, not basketball...swimming (which starts with water competency)! Drowning is the number one killer of toddlers in America, which means water competency is more than just a sport; it’s a vital survival skill.
Experts & Proof
More Information
submitted by NDPAOfficial to toddlers [link] [comments]
I'm Adam Katchmarchi, CEO of the National Drowning Prevention Alliance (NDPA). I'm Julie Gilchrist, Chief Medical Director at the NDPA. We are water safety experts! Ask us anything about keeping kids safe near water!
Overview
May is National Water Safety Month and we have assembled a panel of experts to answer any questions that parents and caregivers might have about water safety and drowning prevention. The AMA will be in support of the National Drowning Prevention Alliance's #FirstSport Campaign that launched on May 1st and is meant to cause pause in the mind of parents/caregivers as to consider what sport they really should be teaching their children first - not football, not soccer, not basketball...swimming (which starts with water competency)! Drowning is the number one killer of toddlers in America, which means water competency is more than just a sport; it’s a vital survival skill.
Experts & Proof
More Information
- Adam and Julie will be joining the AMA to answer any and all questions starting at 2pm ET on Friday May 17. The AMA will open for questions at 11am ET.
- Check out the #FirstSport PSA here: https://youtu.be/S7iDBvCcwSQ?feature=shared OR https://ndpa.org/firstsport/
- For more information on the NDPA, visit: www.ndpa.org
- To download the NDPA's Water Safety Toolkit, click here: https://ndpa.org/toolkit/
- Drowning is the single leading cause of death for children ages 1-4 and the second leading cause of unintentional injury death for children up to age 14.
- Nearly 40% of drownings treated in emergency departments require hospitalization, transfer, or further care (compared with 10%for all unintentional injuries).
- There is an average of 4,012 unintentional drowning deaths each year.
- Drowning is fast and silent. It can happen in as little as 20-60 seconds.
- 88% of children drowning with at least 1 adult present and close to 70% of toddler drownings occur during a non-swim time.
- For every fatal childhood drowning, another 7 to 8 receive emergency department care for non-fatal drowning.
- We lose 11 school buses worth of children to fatal unintentional drowning per year, with the average school bus seating 80 students.
- Two out of three drowning incidents that take place in the home occur in a bathtub.
2024.05.17 16:43 Visual_Attorney_5926 Maybe she doesn’t post his family cause they aren’t social media whores.
 | Unlike Oscar and Addie’s family, maybe Preston’s family isn’t wannabe social media famous. She literally just posted about taking the dog to Arizona and spending time there. She’s mentioned being in Arizona at least 3 times in the past 6 months. She said his dad was just visiting them in Utah like a few months ago. What do these people want, a front row seat to these people’s private lives??? submitted by Visual_Attorney_5926 to KyraSnarkSnark [link] [comments] |
2024.05.16 21:44 SativaSapphira Timberland has gone down the toilet.
Every summer, I buy my toddler a new pair of Timberland sandals for summer time because they are the best. I normally buy the Adventure seeker sandals in various colors. He grows out of a pair every year so this year, I bought these sandals for my 4 year old back in February. We were having crazy nice weather in Iowa so I wanted to be proactive and get my kids' spring/summer attire asap if all the nice weather was going to continue. Well it didn't. It was super short lived. So in the shoe box they sat for the next few months. Fast forward to last Monday when it was finally warm enough outside for my son to wear these sandals for the first time, so I sent him to preschool in them. It rained for a little while that afternoon, then became sunny again and the kids were able to have recess outside. An hour after I dropped him off, I get a call from his preschool teacher telling me that one of the kids found pieces of the bottoms of my sons shoes all over on the playground. I couldn't believe what I was hearing Bc I had just taken them out of the box that morning.. There's no way. I paid $50 for those sandals! When I picked him up, to my horror, the entire bottom of both sandals were in fact missing and the shoes themselves were literally falling apart. See pics. Enraged, I contacted the shoe store who sold them to me, they tell me I've missed the window for their return policy and advised me to call Timberland as they were the ones constructing the sandals. So I did and long story short, after 2 hours on the phone, a weeks worth waiting to hear back after I sent them in to be looked at, i received a call from a customer service rep at Timberland stating that, upon investigation, the separation of the sole from the shoe was due to me "improperly storing the shoes in their box for longer than recommended timeframe, then immediately exposing them to wet conditions straight out of the box, which lead to the process of hydrolysis and was not a manufacturer defect, but an operator error. They refused to do anything about it basically saying it was my fault they fell apart when in fact, they were just cheaply constructed, using poor quality materials. Never in my life have I ever heard of such a thing as "keeping shoes in their box beyond recommended time frame" like, you've got to be kidding me!? I immediately jumped on Trust Pilot to see what others had to say... and the comments on there were quite shocking. Very similar complaints to mine. Pretty sad especially coming from a company that prides themselves on using 'high quality materials' to construct their shoes. Well, definitely Not the case here.... not anymore at least. What happened to these guys?? The fact that Timberland can treat their customers like this is beyond me. I use to have a very high opinion of Timberland... but not after this. What a complete waste. I will never buy from Timberland again.
submitted by SativaSapphira to Timberland [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 23:19 etoranze1 What manner of beast is this?
 | He’s an adult in all these pics, about one foot tall and maybe 20 lbs? We hadn’t weighed him in almost 5 years. Tried to add pictures I had on hand where he has short and long hair, and to show off his sickle-shaped tail. submitted by etoranze1 to IDmydog [link] [comments] We got him because someone came to our door with a dog and asked “y’all want a dog?” and since we were talking about getting a dog anyway, we said yes. Never saw that guy again after that. When we first got him, his fur everywhere had brown tips, but after his first haircut (with us, at least), it never grew back that color except around his mouth. As for behavior: - he was friendly with new people, even with toddlers - he did not extend this geniality to wild animals, and chased all squirrels and birds out the yard when outside - i’m not sure how he would have been with other dogs - could be an upbringing thing rather than breed thing, but he also stopped being friendly when it came to food and would guard food that wasn’t his. ex. if someone else is eating something, he will stand/sit around them and then growl at or bite others who approach. he did this with (opened or unopened) bag of dog food when they were left out and the trash can if it was full and he could see the food in it - he barked when the door bell rang, garage went up, or when any strange noise was made - would also bite if people fought or hugged(!?!) in front of him (he bit me once cuz i corndogged my sister lol) - his bites were like scratches at worst - he ran away often but always came back - only knew “sit” and “[his name],” which he ignored 70% of the time, unless you had food in hand I think that’s all the useful information I have. I’m sure he’s probably of combination of 2-3 breeds. Anyone got any ideas? |
2024.05.15 16:55 Responsible-Emu-4831 new additions
 | (first pic is before second pic as after ) bought a ludwig toddler set for 50 bucks gained an 8 inch and a 10 inch tom , both are four lug but they will definitely do for now , just need more boom arms and heads for the 8&10 inch toms and ill be complete submitted by Responsible-Emu-4831 to drums [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 15:15 Jenpayne1 Please add smiling baby
 | Can someone please add the smiling baby to the pic where the grandmother and toddler are smiling? $5 tip for winner submitted by Jenpayne1 to PhotoshopRequest [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 01:12 Evening-Parsley2112 Narc mother asks for help with monster brother after 8 years of NC
So this is a long one. Like, I'm going back over it and damn. This is longer than I thought it would be. Throwaway account, I've only made one other post to this relating to what's going on. Instead of updating the other post, I figured I'd make a separate one about the whole shit show I experienced, and the shit circus I uncovered and avoided. I'll try to keep this in as chronological an order as I can.
As the title says, my abusive/narc mom and pos/delusional/golden child brother started trying to reach out to me a few months ago wanting to make amends and build bridges with me again. There were a few people that commented on my previous post in another subreddit that may be a little disappointed in me for how I handled this, and a few that might enjoy that I handled it the way I did. Someone commented to not let them use my good nature. My nature is dependent on who I'm dealing with, and when it comes to that side of my family, I'm more stick than carrot. So their attempts did not go ignored, and did not go unpunished.
Growing up, I was always closer with my Dad than my mom. My brother was the epitome of "pampered mamma's boy". He started having seizures as a child and was diagnosed with epilepsy, which I thought was why my mom babied the absolute fuck out of him long into adulthood. He would go a year or 2 without any seizures, and then there would be a few months where he'd be having them every other day. At Anytime he got in trouble at home or school, my mom would find a way to blame me, for not making sure he knew whatever he was doing would get him in trouble, or she would blame my dad for not being "involved enough in their baby's life." My dad was in the Navy and I remember any time he'd deploy, I'd dread every day until he came back. My brother would taunt me that he knew whatever he did, I'd be the one to get in trouble for it. My dad would always make things up for me when he got back from his deployments though. We'd often have weekend trips just the 2 of us. And then around my 12th birthday, my mom insisted on sitting us all down and explain to that she and my dad were getting a divorce. We got the whole talk about how they still love us and they just can't be together anymore, etc. my dad told us both that he still loved us and he would be there for us whenever we needed him. He explained that he would be moving out, but he would be by to pick us up to spend the weekends with us. I was nervous and honestly scared of what it would be like without him. But I was looking forward to the weekend when I got to see him again. That never happened though, and that was the last time I ever got to see him.
Right before his weekend with us, my mom explained to us that my dad didn't want anything to do with us anymore. There was some news story about a father that killed his kids when he had custody of them and she used that to terrify my brother and convince him that our dad wanted to kill us to start his life over. We left damn near everything behind and moved in with my mom's brother in Florida (from Virginia) a couple days before my dad was supposed to come get us. After that, she went to great lengths to make sure we had no contact from him.
Years went on, my mom seemed more indifferent towards me than ever. She never seemed interested in anything I did unless my brother also seemed interested in it. She didn't show any interest in my wanting to learn guitar until my brother also showed interest in it. Then we got one guitar that we had to share, I'd take lessons on the condition that I taught my brother whatever I learned in them. My brother eventually wound up breaking the guitar and I was blamed for not storing it in the case it came with. I had to share my N64 with him whenever he wanted to play it. I was playing perfect dark one day and having a hard time killing the skedar leader at the end of the game. My brother burst into the room saying he wanted to play his MegaMan game, to which I just replied "give me a minute, this boss fight is hard, once I'm done you can have your turn" He didn't like that. He left the room and came back with a hammer and smashed the console while I was still playing. My fault for not letting him play it. The only thing I had that he could not use was a pair of roller blades my aunt got me for my 14th birthday. I specifically asked for roller blades to get around instead of a bike because my brother and I had different shoe sizes, so he couldn't wear them Because of constant shit like that, I never really put much value in having things growing up. I didnt want to buy something or get something as a gift just to have it fucked up in a few weeks or months. At some point, my "little" brother became the larger one, so my clothes all became "hand-me-ups" as he outgrew everything. So, because I didn't really have any distractions at home, I turned into a high achieving student, rarely got in trouble. made the honor roll all throughout school. But that wasn't something to celebrate as it was expected of me. I had long since decided that I was moving out as soon as I could once I turn 18. I got a job working at a Walgreens as soon as I could and started saving up for a car. My mom however took issue with this and would never agree to take me looking for one and absolutely refused to ever have it put on her insurance. This is where my Aunt comes in. She and her son are the only 2 on my mom's side that aren't some sort of degenerate. She had her son young, but put herself through college while raising him alone and eventually got her MBA and a cushy upper corporate job. She told me to tell my mom I had to go in to work on one of my days off, that she would pick me up and she would take me car shopping. So that's what we did. I couldn't quite afford a cash car, but she helped me with the financing. I put down what I had as the down payment, the arrangement she made with me was that 1- as long as I was in school, she would cover the insurance and payments for me, however, if I got into an accident, I was responsible for paying the deductable. And 2- as long as i was living with my mom, the car remained in her (Aunt's) name. And if anything happened to it, to let her know so she could get the appropriate authorities involved. My mom was PISSED when she found out I now had a car. Her reasoning (that she said in front of my aunt) was that she didn't think it was fair for one of us-either me or my brother- to have something the other couldn't use. Due to him being 13 and having epilepsy, he couldn't drive, so why should i have a car if my brother doesn't? That turned into a long shouting match between my mom and Aunt that basically ended with my aunt explaining that since it was her car, and all paperwork on her name, I was just on the insurance for it so I could drive it. But if anything at all happened to it while I was living at my Mom's, that the police and insurance companies would get involved. My mom still kept track of all the miles on the car to "make sure I was only going to work and school and wherever she told me I could go". Most of the time, when I hung out with friends, I wasn't the one driving. From that that point though, my mindset was very much "keep my head down and nose clean until I can leave." I graduated a month before my 18th birthday. After graduation, my mom and i got into an argument about me contributing to her bills. I eventually dropped the ball that I planned on getting back in touch with my Dad and leaving. She started laughing. Something about that laugh made me really uncomfortable. She then said "well, you can certainly meet up with him whenever you want! I'll supply the gun if you buy the bullet!" And told me my dad had died when I was 15. That. Fucking. Broke. Me. Later that night, i called my best friend and vented everything to him. He was in the DEP program for the Navy and would be shipping out in a few months, he told me to come by first thing in the morning and talk with him and his parents about the whole situation. I basically packed up all of my clothes and left the day after my 18th birthday. I just left my house key and a note that said "I'm not your problem anymore." I couch surfed for a little while until after my best friend left for boot camp, then I was able to move in and live with his parents (chosen parents basically). My only real rules were keep the house and my space clean and make sure I had a job and/or going to school. I spent a few months mourning my dad and kind of in a haze. Since he was in the Navy though, that meant I was reliable for financial aid for school. My second dad helped me get everything put together to start receiving that so I could start college.
Well, after a couple years of this, my brother, who had spent his time at school more as "forced socializing" instead of learning, was expelled from public schools for allegedly setting off a fire extinguisher in a classroom. He had to enroll at an alternative school called "the drop back-in academy" that was specifically for dropouts or anyone that got the boot from the public school system. My mom reached out to me and asked me if I would drive him to this school in the mornings, she'd pick him up in the afternoons, and she'd pay me $20 a week.I agreed to it thinking this was out of character for her, but she surprisingly held up to that agreement. I drove him for a couple years until I was ready to start my bachelor program. My second parents were getting ready to move back to their hometown and I was going to start school on the other side of the city. So, I was moving to that side of town and couldn't really drive out of my way to pick up and drop off my brother anymore. He continued his enrollment at this place for another 3 years (5 years total) and it turned out, he was never attending. I would drop his ass off there every day and he'd just walk home immediately after I pulled out of the parking lot. He'd just tell my mom that he finished his work early and decided to walk home instead of wait around for her. One afternoon, I'm coming home early from work and my brother is just sitting on the steps to my studio apartment. He tells me that he and our mom got into a really big argument and he needs a place to stay. I (reluctantly) let him in. I'm stuck thinking he must be really desperate if he's coming to me for help. But I start thinking at this point, he's 24, jobless, and probably needs to learn some self discipline and responsibility, and our mom just never did that for him. So I try to help. I ask him what their fight was about and he tells me that he started dating this girl at his alternative school. She was 21 and got the boot from the school system for being too old to attend (we actually have several relatives that were kicked out of the school system for the same reason) and that he accidentally got her pregnant and our mom did not take kindly to that. I called my landlord and explained the situation to him. He was okay with it, so I let him crash on my couch for a little bit (until the end of my lease, then I'd be moving) and just told him to clean up after himself, take care of himself, etc until we could all work this out. He crashed there for a few months and did Jack shit. He would complain that I didn't have a computer for him to use (I only had a laptop I bought for school) and I didn't have any video game consoles for him to entertain himself with. So he was stuck there bored all day. I got tired of the complaining and lack of effort and told him he had to go back to our mom's if he wasn't going to be an adult. We started shouting at each other until he dropped this little bombshell. He yelled "I can't go back to Mom's!" And when I asked why, he just blurted out "because it's to close to that elementary school!" That stopped the whole thing. "And why is that a big deal now?" I asked him. I already knew why that would be the problem, but 1% of me was holding onto the hope that he was got jumped by a gang of 5th graders and the trauma was too much for him to bear. I told him he could either tell me what's going on, or I could make a phone call and get every last detail I needed. He confessed that he had been leaving that school and going over to his "girlfriend's" house and waiting for her to get home. And that one day, her mom ended up catching them in the act. I explained to him that he was leaving out important details if that was the reason he couldn't be near a school.
He told me she was 14, not 21. I. Lost. My. Shit. Everything after that is kinda fuzzy, but he was arrested, mom posted bail, and since she lived right around the corner from an elementary school, he couldn't stay there. So they told his parole officer that he'd be staying at my address until his court date.. his PO had swung by a couple times, but I was always either at work or school or out somewhere. At this point, I told him the lease was up in 6 weeks, I couldn't stand to be around him. I packed my stuff early, moved out into a storage unit, and I stayed at an extended stay hotel until it was time for me to move. Called my landlord and told him what was going on, and if my brother was still there the last week of the lease, nail him for trespassing. My landlord was a good guy. I never had any problems with him. I paid up the last 6 weeks and threw him since extra cash for his troubles as I knew I wouldn't be getting my deposit back. That was the last time I saw my brother. After I moved out of state, I cut all contact with everyone in that family except my Aunt who was the only one that ever helped me out or even had my back. But even then, it was just through email. We'd mainly email birthday and holiday wishes to each other. Updates from my side on how life and career are going.
I never had a myspace or a Facebook growing up. I either never had a computer to check it on, or I was just so accustomed to not having any online distractions that I just never got around to making one. I did finally make a Facebook and I did get in touch with my dad's side of the family and reconnected with them. I hadn't seem most of them since I was 4 or 5. Some of them had been in contact with my brother (he fucking knew our dad died) and was spinning some sort of web about how he graduated high school early, had gone to college for pre-med and then got some sort of full ride scholarship to some prestigious medical school in Florida. He told them I wasn't on social media because I had been arrested for selling drugs and that he was taking me in after I got released. He was also using my senior portrait as a profile pic. They were surprised when they saw me and how I "looked just like my brother!" I had set the record straight. They looked dumbfounded when I told them that he couldn't get himself out of the 9th grade in 10 years, and now would likely never complete his high school journey due to the fact he can't be within 100 yards of a school.
So, fast forward to last week. I checked my email for the first time since late January (for my aunt's birthday) and noticed a few from her saying my mom wanted to reach out, then several emails from a new address. It was my mom's first initial and last name. Subject lines usually read "please respond" and "let me know you're okay" and stuff like that. I'd copy some of them over, but holy shit this is already a novella. Basically she got my email address from sneaking my aunt's phone (aunt did not sell me out). She's trying to apologize for how she treated me growing up and trying to excuse it by saying I reminded her of my dad and then she was going through menopause and just any excuse to dishes full accountability it seems. She acknowledges that it was wrong to hold me accountable for my brother's fuck-ups but dismisses that by saying he didn't know any better and she needed me to be a good role model for him. Things have been hard for her since I left, since she "had" to take my brother back in (I would've left him on the street or in jail), she had to sell her house (she was only 10 years into her mortgage) and buy another smaller one further from a school for him. He never did get a hs diploma or GED because how can he? And she's been going through breast cancer treatment for the last several months and just doesn't have the energy to take care of her 33yo baby anymore. She asked me if I lived close enough to them to take him in for a little bit while she focuses on her health. I left Florida 8 years ago and haven't even lived in the same time zone in 6 years. She can only check her email at work since she no longer has Internet at home. She had to cancel her home Internet service because of him. So, I decided to just put my brother's name into a search bar and the first thing that pops up is a FDLE sex offender's page. And holy shit has he gone downhill. He had a second arrest when he was 27 for the same thing, and then was caught in communications with another girl (like Chris Hansen sting) and was released from prison at the beginning of the year. And the mugshot.... You know the pale lady from the scary stories to tell in the dark movie? Think that, but with a patchy beard. Beady eyes, bad skin and all. According to the sheriff's office inmate search, he's been arrested 5 times in the last 10 years. Twice for lewd and lascivious battery of a minor (aged 12-15), once for solicitation of a minor, and twice for probation violations.
The TL/DR: abusive mom took all her frustrations out on me, blamed me for everything my brother did, hid my father's death from me until I was almost 18, and reaches out after 8 years of no contact and wants me to take care of her pedophile son while she's in poor health.
I'm attaching my response to her below.
Hi. I'm alive. I'm well. I'm also not okay with you contacting me, especially under the circumstances that you violated the privacy of your own sister to get my contact information. I have read your apologies and excuses and I do not accept either. You say I reminded you of Dad? He spent more time with me and showed more interest in my well-being than you ever did, and that's including the 6 years he was absent from my life by your own selfish design. Menopause? I find that hard to believe as this went on for the better part of half a decade and not once in that time did your attitude towards brother change. You always treated him with the same coddling infantile obsession and patience that one would show a toddler. It was and is clear that you have a preferred child as that adult-sized pile of shit is still living comfortably with dear old mama. I'm guessing no one else is willing to take him in? Are Uncle and Cousins afraid of him doing something to their daughters or grandchildren? I do believe you when you say you want to rebuild the bridge that you nuked from orbit years ago, but I can't believe it's not for your own selfish desires. And I can't find any reason or way my quality of life could be improved with your presence. The reality is, my life has been far better without you than it could be with you. I've never said this to anyone, but if there is a sense of karma and balance in the universe, your current situation is proof of that. The next time I see your name on my computer screen, had better be for your obituary. But since you and the monster you raised both decided to keep Dad's death a secret from me, and remove any choice I had to mourn or pay my respects, I'll return that kindness to you.
Please die away from me.
submitted by Evening-Parsley2112 to narcissisticparents [link] [comments]
As the title says, my abusive/narc mom and pos/delusional/golden child brother started trying to reach out to me a few months ago wanting to make amends and build bridges with me again. There were a few people that commented on my previous post in another subreddit that may be a little disappointed in me for how I handled this, and a few that might enjoy that I handled it the way I did. Someone commented to not let them use my good nature. My nature is dependent on who I'm dealing with, and when it comes to that side of my family, I'm more stick than carrot. So their attempts did not go ignored, and did not go unpunished.
Growing up, I was always closer with my Dad than my mom. My brother was the epitome of "pampered mamma's boy". He started having seizures as a child and was diagnosed with epilepsy, which I thought was why my mom babied the absolute fuck out of him long into adulthood. He would go a year or 2 without any seizures, and then there would be a few months where he'd be having them every other day. At Anytime he got in trouble at home or school, my mom would find a way to blame me, for not making sure he knew whatever he was doing would get him in trouble, or she would blame my dad for not being "involved enough in their baby's life." My dad was in the Navy and I remember any time he'd deploy, I'd dread every day until he came back. My brother would taunt me that he knew whatever he did, I'd be the one to get in trouble for it. My dad would always make things up for me when he got back from his deployments though. We'd often have weekend trips just the 2 of us. And then around my 12th birthday, my mom insisted on sitting us all down and explain to that she and my dad were getting a divorce. We got the whole talk about how they still love us and they just can't be together anymore, etc. my dad told us both that he still loved us and he would be there for us whenever we needed him. He explained that he would be moving out, but he would be by to pick us up to spend the weekends with us. I was nervous and honestly scared of what it would be like without him. But I was looking forward to the weekend when I got to see him again. That never happened though, and that was the last time I ever got to see him.
Right before his weekend with us, my mom explained to us that my dad didn't want anything to do with us anymore. There was some news story about a father that killed his kids when he had custody of them and she used that to terrify my brother and convince him that our dad wanted to kill us to start his life over. We left damn near everything behind and moved in with my mom's brother in Florida (from Virginia) a couple days before my dad was supposed to come get us. After that, she went to great lengths to make sure we had no contact from him.
Years went on, my mom seemed more indifferent towards me than ever. She never seemed interested in anything I did unless my brother also seemed interested in it. She didn't show any interest in my wanting to learn guitar until my brother also showed interest in it. Then we got one guitar that we had to share, I'd take lessons on the condition that I taught my brother whatever I learned in them. My brother eventually wound up breaking the guitar and I was blamed for not storing it in the case it came with. I had to share my N64 with him whenever he wanted to play it. I was playing perfect dark one day and having a hard time killing the skedar leader at the end of the game. My brother burst into the room saying he wanted to play his MegaMan game, to which I just replied "give me a minute, this boss fight is hard, once I'm done you can have your turn" He didn't like that. He left the room and came back with a hammer and smashed the console while I was still playing. My fault for not letting him play it. The only thing I had that he could not use was a pair of roller blades my aunt got me for my 14th birthday. I specifically asked for roller blades to get around instead of a bike because my brother and I had different shoe sizes, so he couldn't wear them Because of constant shit like that, I never really put much value in having things growing up. I didnt want to buy something or get something as a gift just to have it fucked up in a few weeks or months. At some point, my "little" brother became the larger one, so my clothes all became "hand-me-ups" as he outgrew everything. So, because I didn't really have any distractions at home, I turned into a high achieving student, rarely got in trouble. made the honor roll all throughout school. But that wasn't something to celebrate as it was expected of me. I had long since decided that I was moving out as soon as I could once I turn 18. I got a job working at a Walgreens as soon as I could and started saving up for a car. My mom however took issue with this and would never agree to take me looking for one and absolutely refused to ever have it put on her insurance. This is where my Aunt comes in. She and her son are the only 2 on my mom's side that aren't some sort of degenerate. She had her son young, but put herself through college while raising him alone and eventually got her MBA and a cushy upper corporate job. She told me to tell my mom I had to go in to work on one of my days off, that she would pick me up and she would take me car shopping. So that's what we did. I couldn't quite afford a cash car, but she helped me with the financing. I put down what I had as the down payment, the arrangement she made with me was that 1- as long as I was in school, she would cover the insurance and payments for me, however, if I got into an accident, I was responsible for paying the deductable. And 2- as long as i was living with my mom, the car remained in her (Aunt's) name. And if anything happened to it, to let her know so she could get the appropriate authorities involved. My mom was PISSED when she found out I now had a car. Her reasoning (that she said in front of my aunt) was that she didn't think it was fair for one of us-either me or my brother- to have something the other couldn't use. Due to him being 13 and having epilepsy, he couldn't drive, so why should i have a car if my brother doesn't? That turned into a long shouting match between my mom and Aunt that basically ended with my aunt explaining that since it was her car, and all paperwork on her name, I was just on the insurance for it so I could drive it. But if anything at all happened to it while I was living at my Mom's, that the police and insurance companies would get involved. My mom still kept track of all the miles on the car to "make sure I was only going to work and school and wherever she told me I could go". Most of the time, when I hung out with friends, I wasn't the one driving. From that that point though, my mindset was very much "keep my head down and nose clean until I can leave." I graduated a month before my 18th birthday. After graduation, my mom and i got into an argument about me contributing to her bills. I eventually dropped the ball that I planned on getting back in touch with my Dad and leaving. She started laughing. Something about that laugh made me really uncomfortable. She then said "well, you can certainly meet up with him whenever you want! I'll supply the gun if you buy the bullet!" And told me my dad had died when I was 15. That. Fucking. Broke. Me. Later that night, i called my best friend and vented everything to him. He was in the DEP program for the Navy and would be shipping out in a few months, he told me to come by first thing in the morning and talk with him and his parents about the whole situation. I basically packed up all of my clothes and left the day after my 18th birthday. I just left my house key and a note that said "I'm not your problem anymore." I couch surfed for a little while until after my best friend left for boot camp, then I was able to move in and live with his parents (chosen parents basically). My only real rules were keep the house and my space clean and make sure I had a job and/or going to school. I spent a few months mourning my dad and kind of in a haze. Since he was in the Navy though, that meant I was reliable for financial aid for school. My second dad helped me get everything put together to start receiving that so I could start college.
Well, after a couple years of this, my brother, who had spent his time at school more as "forced socializing" instead of learning, was expelled from public schools for allegedly setting off a fire extinguisher in a classroom. He had to enroll at an alternative school called "the drop back-in academy" that was specifically for dropouts or anyone that got the boot from the public school system. My mom reached out to me and asked me if I would drive him to this school in the mornings, she'd pick him up in the afternoons, and she'd pay me $20 a week.I agreed to it thinking this was out of character for her, but she surprisingly held up to that agreement. I drove him for a couple years until I was ready to start my bachelor program. My second parents were getting ready to move back to their hometown and I was going to start school on the other side of the city. So, I was moving to that side of town and couldn't really drive out of my way to pick up and drop off my brother anymore. He continued his enrollment at this place for another 3 years (5 years total) and it turned out, he was never attending. I would drop his ass off there every day and he'd just walk home immediately after I pulled out of the parking lot. He'd just tell my mom that he finished his work early and decided to walk home instead of wait around for her. One afternoon, I'm coming home early from work and my brother is just sitting on the steps to my studio apartment. He tells me that he and our mom got into a really big argument and he needs a place to stay. I (reluctantly) let him in. I'm stuck thinking he must be really desperate if he's coming to me for help. But I start thinking at this point, he's 24, jobless, and probably needs to learn some self discipline and responsibility, and our mom just never did that for him. So I try to help. I ask him what their fight was about and he tells me that he started dating this girl at his alternative school. She was 21 and got the boot from the school system for being too old to attend (we actually have several relatives that were kicked out of the school system for the same reason) and that he accidentally got her pregnant and our mom did not take kindly to that. I called my landlord and explained the situation to him. He was okay with it, so I let him crash on my couch for a little bit (until the end of my lease, then I'd be moving) and just told him to clean up after himself, take care of himself, etc until we could all work this out. He crashed there for a few months and did Jack shit. He would complain that I didn't have a computer for him to use (I only had a laptop I bought for school) and I didn't have any video game consoles for him to entertain himself with. So he was stuck there bored all day. I got tired of the complaining and lack of effort and told him he had to go back to our mom's if he wasn't going to be an adult. We started shouting at each other until he dropped this little bombshell. He yelled "I can't go back to Mom's!" And when I asked why, he just blurted out "because it's to close to that elementary school!" That stopped the whole thing. "And why is that a big deal now?" I asked him. I already knew why that would be the problem, but 1% of me was holding onto the hope that he was got jumped by a gang of 5th graders and the trauma was too much for him to bear. I told him he could either tell me what's going on, or I could make a phone call and get every last detail I needed. He confessed that he had been leaving that school and going over to his "girlfriend's" house and waiting for her to get home. And that one day, her mom ended up catching them in the act. I explained to him that he was leaving out important details if that was the reason he couldn't be near a school.
He told me she was 14, not 21. I. Lost. My. Shit. Everything after that is kinda fuzzy, but he was arrested, mom posted bail, and since she lived right around the corner from an elementary school, he couldn't stay there. So they told his parole officer that he'd be staying at my address until his court date.. his PO had swung by a couple times, but I was always either at work or school or out somewhere. At this point, I told him the lease was up in 6 weeks, I couldn't stand to be around him. I packed my stuff early, moved out into a storage unit, and I stayed at an extended stay hotel until it was time for me to move. Called my landlord and told him what was going on, and if my brother was still there the last week of the lease, nail him for trespassing. My landlord was a good guy. I never had any problems with him. I paid up the last 6 weeks and threw him since extra cash for his troubles as I knew I wouldn't be getting my deposit back. That was the last time I saw my brother. After I moved out of state, I cut all contact with everyone in that family except my Aunt who was the only one that ever helped me out or even had my back. But even then, it was just through email. We'd mainly email birthday and holiday wishes to each other. Updates from my side on how life and career are going.
I never had a myspace or a Facebook growing up. I either never had a computer to check it on, or I was just so accustomed to not having any online distractions that I just never got around to making one. I did finally make a Facebook and I did get in touch with my dad's side of the family and reconnected with them. I hadn't seem most of them since I was 4 or 5. Some of them had been in contact with my brother (he fucking knew our dad died) and was spinning some sort of web about how he graduated high school early, had gone to college for pre-med and then got some sort of full ride scholarship to some prestigious medical school in Florida. He told them I wasn't on social media because I had been arrested for selling drugs and that he was taking me in after I got released. He was also using my senior portrait as a profile pic. They were surprised when they saw me and how I "looked just like my brother!" I had set the record straight. They looked dumbfounded when I told them that he couldn't get himself out of the 9th grade in 10 years, and now would likely never complete his high school journey due to the fact he can't be within 100 yards of a school.
So, fast forward to last week. I checked my email for the first time since late January (for my aunt's birthday) and noticed a few from her saying my mom wanted to reach out, then several emails from a new address. It was my mom's first initial and last name. Subject lines usually read "please respond" and "let me know you're okay" and stuff like that. I'd copy some of them over, but holy shit this is already a novella. Basically she got my email address from sneaking my aunt's phone (aunt did not sell me out). She's trying to apologize for how she treated me growing up and trying to excuse it by saying I reminded her of my dad and then she was going through menopause and just any excuse to dishes full accountability it seems. She acknowledges that it was wrong to hold me accountable for my brother's fuck-ups but dismisses that by saying he didn't know any better and she needed me to be a good role model for him. Things have been hard for her since I left, since she "had" to take my brother back in (I would've left him on the street or in jail), she had to sell her house (she was only 10 years into her mortgage) and buy another smaller one further from a school for him. He never did get a hs diploma or GED because how can he? And she's been going through breast cancer treatment for the last several months and just doesn't have the energy to take care of her 33yo baby anymore. She asked me if I lived close enough to them to take him in for a little bit while she focuses on her health. I left Florida 8 years ago and haven't even lived in the same time zone in 6 years. She can only check her email at work since she no longer has Internet at home. She had to cancel her home Internet service because of him. So, I decided to just put my brother's name into a search bar and the first thing that pops up is a FDLE sex offender's page. And holy shit has he gone downhill. He had a second arrest when he was 27 for the same thing, and then was caught in communications with another girl (like Chris Hansen sting) and was released from prison at the beginning of the year. And the mugshot.... You know the pale lady from the scary stories to tell in the dark movie? Think that, but with a patchy beard. Beady eyes, bad skin and all. According to the sheriff's office inmate search, he's been arrested 5 times in the last 10 years. Twice for lewd and lascivious battery of a minor (aged 12-15), once for solicitation of a minor, and twice for probation violations.
The TL/DR: abusive mom took all her frustrations out on me, blamed me for everything my brother did, hid my father's death from me until I was almost 18, and reaches out after 8 years of no contact and wants me to take care of her pedophile son while she's in poor health.
I'm attaching my response to her below.
Hi. I'm alive. I'm well. I'm also not okay with you contacting me, especially under the circumstances that you violated the privacy of your own sister to get my contact information. I have read your apologies and excuses and I do not accept either. You say I reminded you of Dad? He spent more time with me and showed more interest in my well-being than you ever did, and that's including the 6 years he was absent from my life by your own selfish design. Menopause? I find that hard to believe as this went on for the better part of half a decade and not once in that time did your attitude towards brother change. You always treated him with the same coddling infantile obsession and patience that one would show a toddler. It was and is clear that you have a preferred child as that adult-sized pile of shit is still living comfortably with dear old mama. I'm guessing no one else is willing to take him in? Are Uncle and Cousins afraid of him doing something to their daughters or grandchildren? I do believe you when you say you want to rebuild the bridge that you nuked from orbit years ago, but I can't believe it's not for your own selfish desires. And I can't find any reason or way my quality of life could be improved with your presence. The reality is, my life has been far better without you than it could be with you. I've never said this to anyone, but if there is a sense of karma and balance in the universe, your current situation is proof of that. The next time I see your name on my computer screen, had better be for your obituary. But since you and the monster you raised both decided to keep Dad's death a secret from me, and remove any choice I had to mourn or pay my respects, I'll return that kindness to you.
Please die away from me.
2024.05.14 22:09 cherrywhiteclaw Petite girl squad…
 | I’m laughing crying. Luke in an interview idk for which news outlet 😂😂😭😭 why hasn’t Nic joked about her soap box? submitted by cherrywhiteclaw to PolinBridgerton [link] [comments] I don’t mind being ✨vertically challenged✨ but thought it’d be
|
2024.05.14 12:04 BeagleMixBelle Pups being awkward. Show me yours.
 | Are dogs just awkward toddlers when they sleep? Show me your awkward pup pics please. 😁 submitted by BeagleMixBelle to dogpictures [link] [comments] |
2024.05.14 09:30 K_Hat_Omega ID Request - Southern California, CSU San Bernardino Area
 | Hello spiders experts! My girlfriend and I need to ID this spider. It crawled on her while watching TV on the couch. We had our front door open with the screen door closed and assume it came inside after I watered the lawn. I took care not to hurt this guy, but definitely do not want it around if it's venomous because we have a two year old toddler that plays where it was found. Preliminary speculation leads us to believe it may be desert recluse (I really hope not) or a woodlouse spider. Body length is about slightly longer than the length of a rice grain. Single-leg outstretched length is about that of a US quarter (maybe 1 to 1.25 diameter). Appears to have only two, minimally-spaced eyes on the top of its head. True color is a very uniformly distributed tan. It has a matte look when shining the light on it. Hopefully that is enough description! Enjoy the pics! submitted by K_Hat_Omega to spiders [link] [comments] |
2024.05.14 05:34 NDPAOfficial We are water safety experts from the National Drowning Prevention Alliance and Boys & Girls Club of Ameriac! Ask us anything about keeping kids safe near water!
Introduction
I'm Adam Katchmarchi, CEO of the National Drowning Prevention Alliance (NDPA). I'm Julie Gilchrist, Chief Medical Director at the NDPA. I'm Alan Mogridge, Aquatic Safety Specialist at Boys & Girls Club of America. We are water safety experts! Ask us anything about keeping kids safe near water!
Overview
May is National Water Safety Month and we have assembled a panel of experts to answer any questions that parents and caregivers might have about water safety and drowning prevention. The AMA will be in support of the National Drowning Prevention Alliance's #FirstSport Campaign that launched on May 1st and is meant to cause pause in the mind of parents/caregivers as to consider what sport they really should be teaching their children first - not football, not soccer, not basketball...swimming (which starts with water competency)! Drowning is the number one killer of toddlers in America, which means water competency is more than just a sport; it’s a vital survival skill.
Experts & Proof
submitted by NDPAOfficial to toddlers [link] [comments]
I'm Adam Katchmarchi, CEO of the National Drowning Prevention Alliance (NDPA). I'm Julie Gilchrist, Chief Medical Director at the NDPA. I'm Alan Mogridge, Aquatic Safety Specialist at Boys & Girls Club of America. We are water safety experts! Ask us anything about keeping kids safe near water!
Overview
May is National Water Safety Month and we have assembled a panel of experts to answer any questions that parents and caregivers might have about water safety and drowning prevention. The AMA will be in support of the National Drowning Prevention Alliance's #FirstSport Campaign that launched on May 1st and is meant to cause pause in the mind of parents/caregivers as to consider what sport they really should be teaching their children first - not football, not soccer, not basketball...swimming (which starts with water competency)! Drowning is the number one killer of toddlers in America, which means water competency is more than just a sport; it’s a vital survival skill.
Experts & Proof
- Adam Katchmarchi: u/WaterSafetyPHD (Proof Pic)
- Julie Gilchrist: u/watersafetydoc
- Alan Mogridge: u/BGCA_NE_Safety_Dir (Proof Pic)
- The AMA opens at 9am PT with the experts joining to answer any and all questions starting at 10am PT.
- Check out the #FirstSport PSA here: https://youtu.be/S7iDBvCcwSQ?feature=shared OR https://ndpa.org/firstsport/
- For more information on the NDPA, visit: www.ndpa.org
- For more information on BGCA and it's water programs, visit: https://bgca.org
- To download the NDPA's Water Safety Toolkit, click here: https://ndpa.org/toolkit/
- Drowning is the single leading cause of death for children ages 1-4 and the second leading cause of unintentional injury death for children up to age 14.
- Nearly 40% of drownings treated in emergency departments require hospitalization, transfer, or further care (compared with 10%for all unintentional injuries).
- There is an average of 4,012 unintentional drowning deaths each year.
- Drowning is fast and silent. It can happen in as little as 20-60 seconds.
- 88% of children drowning with at least 1 adult present and close to 70% of toddler drownings occur during a non-swim time.
- For every fatal childhood drowning, another 7 to 8 receive emergency department care for non-fatal drowning.
- We lose 11 school buses worth of children to fatal unintentional drowning per year, with the average school bus seating 80 students.
- Two out of three drowning incidents that take place in the home occur in a bathtub.
Hi All! We wanted to give you an update that we will have to reschedule our AMA unfortunately! We will update the AMA shortly and answer any of the questions shared here already. Thank you for understanding!
2024.05.14 01:39 Chowwwwwy $50 request!
 | 1- My toddler was being stubborn and wouldn’t get in a family pic. Can anyone add my toddler (in pink) to the rest of the family pic? submitted by Chowwwwwy to PhotoshopRequest [link] [comments] 2- can someone add my husband to the pic with the kids and myself? Please and thank you! I’ve seen some talented folks and will pay gladly! I tried to attach some full body pics of my husband to hopefully help!! |
2024.05.14 00:02 Own_Accountant_5229 This gig work is just all luck, being at the right place at the right time.
We all know that sometimes we decline an order and then get a great order. And if were 5 blocks down, we may not have ever seen it.
Yesterday, my wife and I went to a birthday party. It's 20 miles north of where we live. I've been to the area twice,. both times delivering there from my area (the tip was worth it). It was supposed to start at 2pm. We were close at about 2pm and my wife got a text that the party would be delayed because the people were picking up guests, soo we went to McD's close by to get a bite (I hadn't eaten yet). While there, I decided to turn DD on to see i could log on (it was busy so Dash Now came on). First offer, Shop and Pay for 6.6 miles for $26 for 4 items. Oh yea!!!!
I went to the supermarket alone while my wife stayed with my toddler who was playing in the playground at McD's. I got the items (flowers, card. frozen cheesecake, and some seafood). Took all of 10 minutes. I sent a pic of the card to get customer's approval. Then I went to deliver, and it was passing by the McD's, so I picked up my wife and son and delivered the items to a nice guy on crutches from some kind of injury. Then after completion, it seems that he upped the tip from $20 to $30, so I got $35.50 for that 20 minutes of my time.
Right place, right time. Like most things in life.
submitted by Own_Accountant_5229 to doordash_drivers [link] [comments]
Yesterday, my wife and I went to a birthday party. It's 20 miles north of where we live. I've been to the area twice,. both times delivering there from my area (the tip was worth it). It was supposed to start at 2pm. We were close at about 2pm and my wife got a text that the party would be delayed because the people were picking up guests, soo we went to McD's close by to get a bite (I hadn't eaten yet). While there, I decided to turn DD on to see i could log on (it was busy so Dash Now came on). First offer, Shop and Pay for 6.6 miles for $26 for 4 items. Oh yea!!!!
I went to the supermarket alone while my wife stayed with my toddler who was playing in the playground at McD's. I got the items (flowers, card. frozen cheesecake, and some seafood). Took all of 10 minutes. I sent a pic of the card to get customer's approval. Then I went to deliver, and it was passing by the McD's, so I picked up my wife and son and delivered the items to a nice guy on crutches from some kind of injury. Then after completion, it seems that he upped the tip from $20 to $30, so I got $35.50 for that 20 minutes of my time.
Right place, right time. Like most things in life.
2024.05.13 03:05 strubisach UPDATE: OOP dodges a bride-shaped bullet. "The wedding hasn't even happened yet and everything's already a trainwreck"
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/lolfuckno.
This post was originally posted to weddingshaming.
There was already a BoRU post by u/autochthonouschimera, which didn't include the last update yet.
TRIGGER WARNING: cheating, child neglect, extreme entitledness, talk of abortion
MOOD SPOILERS: infuriating, confusing, frustrating
The new update at the bottom of this post has been marked with --- ---
EDIT/DISCLAIMER: FFS FOLLOW THE NO BRIGADING RULE = DO NOT COMMENT ON THE ORIGINAL POSTS LINKED IN BoRUs!! THIS OFC ALSO INCLUDES NOT TEXTING THE OOP DIRECTLY, NOT REPORTING THEM TO SUBS LIKE care AND NOT INCLUDING THEM IN THREADS AND DISCUSSIONS!! LEAVE THEM ALONE, THIS SUB IS MADE TO LURK AND GET SOME SPICY STORIES WITH CLOSURE, NOT TO HARRASS PEOPLE WHO ALREADY GOT ALOT OF INPUT THROUGH DIFFERENT SUBs!!
Original story was posted on December 7, 2021
Okay, so this girl I know from high school is getting married. We're both 22, for reference. In our senior year of high school she got pregnant, with baby daddy A who will be referred to as Adam. Her super conservative parents kicked her out and she ended up moving in with a friend's family. She barely graduated high school. The only reason she did were because of the generosity and support of our teachers and students who volunteered to help her, which is how we met. We were in the same law class in the morning and she had the worst morning sickness that really affected her ability to be in class. So, I took extra notes for her, tutored her, and brought her her stuff if she hadn't come back by the bell. I wasn't the only one who did stuff like this for her and I know she really appreciates all the assistance we gave her. She had the baby a month after we graduated.
She'd signed up for a 911 dispatcher course for after high school because where we live it's a good steady job, with opportunity for certificates and promotions. But she didn't realize how intensive the course would be and had to drop out. She started working at a grocery store bakery, just until she had a better plan. Adam started an apprenticeship while working part time at a hockey rink, and proposed to her literally the day of her eighteenth birthday, and brought up marriage because "it's the right thing to do" (I don't really agree with that but this isn't about me) and she was always refusing.
She started cheating on him after a while (we're all 19 now), and eventually leaves him for another guy because... She's pregnant again and it is far more likely that this guy, baby daddy B who will be referred to as Brad, is the father of the child. Neither of them can afford lawyers so getting any kind of custody agreement is a mess, and then their parents got involved and they did 50/50 split (still not made official). She has the baby, that does turn out to be Brad's, and everything is okay for about nine months, when she finds out Brad has been cheating on her with his TA. Brad decides to pay child support but doesn't really want contact with the kid, only around holidays and one weekend a month for his parents' sake.
She moves back in with her parents (we're all 20 now) who only accept her back because there's grandchildren around. On the plus side, (when she's 21) she gets to take that year long dispatcher course, and passes with flying colours!
After working as a dispatcher for a year (we're all 22 now) she meets a police officer we'll call Chad, who's 26 and married... And Adam's second (?) cousin (I can't remember how they're related, just that Adam and Chad are related somewhat distantly). She has an affair with him (infidelity is super common among cops apparently). She gets knocked up, his wife divorces him, Chad proposes because "it's the right thing to do", she accepts, and her parents kick her out again for being a [insert expletive here], she moves in with Chad with her two kids. They've started planning the wedding, which... Given the background is something akin to a dumpster fire. Adam is LIVID. He was desperately in love with this girl and hasn't really recovered from what she did to him, and while she rejected his proposals years ago, she's accepted one FROM HIS COUSIN WHO PROPSED FOR THE SAME REASON HE DID.
Adam has basically made a call for loyalty in the family, dividing everyone one who should go, who should give money, etc plus they're having trouble planning anything because of COVID. Her parents have outright said that they're not going, along with half of her family, and her younger sister has been going around and sabotaging what plans they can make.
She has asked me to be a bridesmaid, I said that I couldn't because I live in a different province now, but the truth is, I do not want to be wrapped up in that clusterfuck in any way . I'm just watching the arguments and events unfold on social media because this is quite honestly the most entertaining thing I've seen all year. It's weird to me that she even asked because we're not friends, we never have been. We were friendly strangers in high school, I just helped her out for one class because she needed help and I could give it to her. I was just being nice. But based on how she turned out I'm just sad for her. Three kids in four years, and she's alienated so much of her friends and family because if her actions, and I'm torn between feeling sorry for her and putting my head in my hands.
EDIT 1:
First off, all of your comments are hilarious. Second, I'm going to answer some of the common questions.
We're from a city with over 400,000 thousand people, she just comes from the neighbourhood that is made of either bible thumpers or white trash, with no in between. But the high school we went to was in a completely different neighbourhood than that.
Our school had a pretty good sex Ed course, and they gave out free condoms and had resources to help girls get birth control, and they had programs in place for if students ever got pregnant/were going to be teen parents (they also had one of those classes with the dolls for girls who were high risk at teen pregnancy but she wasn't high risk so she wasn't in that class) I don't if BC just didn't work for her, or if she never tried it.
She started alienating her friends after the affair with Chad came out, because people weren't exactly jumping for joy that she'd broken up a marriage (Chad and his ex didn't have any kids, thankfully, so there were less obstacles). When people weren't immediately ecstatic for her she started getting very snippy, rude, and was "calling the bitches out" on social media for not supporting her new relationship or pregnancy. (Tbh I'm really worried about her health because having this many babies so close together is just not good for her health, mental or physical.) People are also worried that Chad will cheat on her "if he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you" and think she should avoid marrying him so that she can just leave him if it happens.
I'll give you updates as they come out, but so far it's just a lot of yelling on social media (mostly from her), some relatives slut shaming her, and people who are just really worried about her because, as funny as this is, this doesn't seem like healthy behaviour.
EDIT 2:
First off, I realized I never gave this girl a name. For the sake of clarity we'll call her Beth. I realize that I didn't mention this before, but all of these are fake names.
Second, to everyone commenting that Chad is at fault for his marriage breaking up, believe me I'm well aware of that. It is his ex wife and her family/friends who solely blame Beth. Chad is also older than her and has more life experience, so I do believe that he could potentially be taking advantage of her naivete. However, she is also an adult who is capable of making her own decisions and has chosen to make poor ones in the past.
Third, people who are upset that I'm posting this story here, claiming I'm humiliating her. She has been posting about this mess on every social media platform she has since they got engaged in July. She put this out there long before I did except she did so in front of friends, family, employers, and coworkers, as well as internet randos.
Fourth, despite getting engaged in July and attempting to start planning then, I was only asked to be a bridesmaid three days ago. I knew that there was a mess going on but I didn't really pay attention to it until she asked me to be a bridesmaid. I tried to ask what was going on, I said that she should talk to someone, but when she completely brushed me off I checked her FB and Instagram and found out about all of... This.
Fifth, I realized that I didn't really talk about how disastrous the wedding planning has been going, see here you go:
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
UPDATE:
Hey everyone, so some stuff has gone down, and it doesn't look like it's over yet. Sorry, I didn't update sooner, but Rona came back with a vengeance and totally messed up plans with uni and family. Anyway, onto the update.
From the last update - 16th - Lots of ranting and chaotic wedding planning on social media, she found a dress and has decided she will get married while pregnant, they found a local wedding venue that is very lovely, but I'm shocked she's still trying to book stuff with all of their previous venue cancellations.
December 16th - Her little sister unblocked her to call her a s*ut and tell her that all her wedding plans were stupid. This resulted in a petty and entertaining facebook war until the little sis blocked her again on the 17th.
December 18th - Beth went nuts on social media because Adam had "kidnapped" their daughter, what really happened is that because courts are moving at a snail's pace due to COVID and Adam had reason to believe that their daughter was not safe living with Beth he decided to just... Not give her back. They don't have a custody agreement, and when Beth tried to call the cops they couldn't do anything because he was kinda right. There were dozens of videos on her various social media accounts of her ignoring their daughter, yelling at her daughter for crying or doing other things that toddlers do, it turns out that everything she needed was bought by Adam, food, diapers, clothes, toys, daycare (while it was open) etc. on top of the unofficial child support he was paying every month (which turned out to be $500 a month, a number I find ridiculous because Adam was already paying for literally everything) because she refused to buy anything for her daughter and insisted it was Adam's responsibility. Additionally, after the immediate post-birth appointments, Beth never took baby A to a doctor's appointment, she always deferred that to Adam. Baby A's pediatrician has NEVER met Beth. Beth even tried to get Chad to push back or intimidate him or something, but the local police where we live are under one hell of a microscope after a bunch of dirty cops got busted a couple of years ago. Basically, the cops, and the social worker they ended up calling, ended up saying there was nothing she could do until they get to court. The social worker tried to get her to go to therapy and parenting classes, but Beth refused and went on a fifteen paragraph long rant on Facebook about how she doesn't need parenting classes or therapy (she really, really does though) and called the social worker some choice words.
December 19-24 - Just a bunch of ranting on social media, calling everyone who doesn't enable or justify her behaviour cuss words, slurs, and a whole bunch of other horribly creative things. Also, both she and Chad are under investigation at work now, but she has no idea why. I'm gonna take this time to remind everyone that 99% of this info is coming from her public social media pages where her coworkers are friends and place of employment is listed.
December 25 - I am officially embarrassed to know this woman. I didn't go on her FB page until the evening cause I didn't want to deal with drama, first thing in the morning, on Xmas. In the morning she put on a very beautiful blue maternity dress, got Chad in his police blues, and baby B in a purple romper, and then live-streamed her and her family going to the courthouse to get married on Christmas day. (According to her Twitter, part of this was because their newest venue cancelled on them after COVID numbers spiked) Overall, a pretty tacky thing in my opinion because she stated plain as day, several times, that she intended her wedding anniversary to eclipse Christmas for her children because it's just "so much more special, you know?" (I am so glad that Baby B's grandparents are filing for guardianship) But here's the thing... The courthouse isn't open. Because of COVID for one thing, but also because it's Xmas and Canada has a predominantly Christian history. She proceeded to have a full meltdown, and when Baby B cried because, y'know, the kid's mom was screaming up a storm and scaring her, Beth called her a c*nt. Yup. So done with this bitch.
December 28 - I ran into her at a vaccine clinic cause we were both getting our booster shots. She didn't recognize me at first but one of my old bosses (cause I used to work at the hospital the vaccine clinic was in) called my name and said hi, so she came up to me after my old boss had left. We talked a bit while we sat down for the mandatory waiting period after getting the shot. She asked how I was but didn't even wait for me to respond before she started ranting and complaining about her life. I was just going to sit there until the time was up and then just politely make my exit, but when she started talking shit about her kids something inside me snapped. I just said "Do you even like your kids? Do you like being a mom?" She got pretty quiet for a second and then said "no". Idk, her voice and demeanour completely changed and we just sat in silence until our time was up. I said goodbye but it was really awkward.
December 31st (today) - I just looked at her feed and, this is such a shocking what-the-actual-f*** moment. She's thinking about giving up her kids. She went on about how recently she was asked if she liked her kids or being a mom, and how she realized that she didn't. She hates her children and blames them for ruining her life, and how she doesn't want to be a mom. I mean, nothing is official yet, but what the hell?!
I'll update as stuff happens now that I have the time, but this whole thing has been a big giant mess. Also, sorry for any formatting or grammatical errors, I'm not used to using Reddit on my PC.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
UPDATE
Okay, so, some stuff has happened and most of it's good? Also, the TL:DR for this update will be at the bottom
Jan 4th - Beth (and Chad) stopped posting on all social media. I was actually a little worried she died, I mean this woman posts everything short of her trips to the bathroom on IG.
Oddly enough, this got people messaging or interacting with her social media pages because she was usually the one to start contact, and that contact was usually yelling. No one heard from them and some people started to be like "should we call the cops for a wellness check?" Until Chad posted a status saying that they're fine but are "busy, please stop trying to contact us right now". Everyone listened but it was weird.
Jan 11 - I got a notification that Beth and Chad are active on social media again, but I didn't feel like drama so I didn't check out any of their posts.
Jan 12 (today) - she messaged me on FB asking me to be her MOH. She also kept going on about the resort in Cancun that she and Chad were looking to have their wedding at... This coming February. Omnicrom is really bad where we are, so no one should be travelling anywhere. I've actually had to delay my trip back to the province where I go to university. No one should be travelling anywhere.
Beth also found out that Chad was cheating on her with one of her co-workers and called the woman a "homewrecker" on FB tagged her, and posted the texts she found on Chad's phone. But Chad is the "love of her life" so she's forgiven him, but not the other woman. Which I find very hypocritical, considering how she and Chad got together.
She also sent pics of possible bridesmaid dresses and they are the most hideous dresses I've ever seen. I know that some brides do that thing where they want to look a million times better by comparison but this was just ridiculous. One of them looked like a partially deflated balloon with feathers strapped to it. She also openly admitted that she expected everyone attending to pay 3k, 2k would go towards that guest's stay at the resort and 1k would go to her and Chad and they will expected wedding gifts, so that they could get their room for free. Apparently, she talked to someone at the resort and if she got enough people to book their rooms she and Chad would get theirs for free. She also wanted the money to be given to her instead of directly to the hotel so that people wouldn't realize that she was taking 1k of their money. Beth sent me a pic of the wedding dress she wanted, and it's definitely a clubbing dress. If that's what she wants that's fine (and for the record I do think she would look great in it, Beth's (current) dream wedding dress ) but she wants all the guests to be dressed black tie. And she's already sent a list of unreasonable requests. Such as;
I was also just kinda weirded out because aside from the previous convo at the hospital and when she originally asked me to be a bridesmaid, we haven't spoken since high school. So I respectfully declined, stating that the virus and school were my top concerns right now. Then, I decided to check her socials to see if she'd posted anything. She had and everything was basically how it was before the hiatus... Except her kids are nowhere to be found. No "look at my cute baby" pics are kids crying in the background of her videos. Nothing. Though, based on her new pics of herself, she's given birth to baby C. I mean, she's definitely still recovering, but she also definitely had a baby and that baby is not on any of her socials, so when she responded to my decline with an attempt at guilting me to be her MOH, I asked her where her kids were. This was her response.
"Oh, I left them at the side of the road in our way home from the hospital those moochers could walk home lol"
I was like, please tell me you're not being serious (especially cause it looks like she had the baby days ago). And she replied "I was just joking you shouldn't be so serious all the time". Honey, you made a joke about child abandonment/abuse, you're not being serious enough. And then I finally got the update on the kids.
After learning all this my convo with Beth started to go down hill...
Beth: wait, did you actually think I would just leave my kids at the side of the road! I just didn't want to be a mom, but I wasn't a bad one
Me: Beth, I think that you've been through a lot of trauma in the past few years, and that it's gotten to you mentally and that you should speak to a professional.
(Of course, Beth has been a bad mom, but she does need mental health help and I wasn't going to convince her to get it, or to not tell at me, if I said that )
Beth: what? You think I'm crazy?!
Me: no. I think that getting kicked out as a teen because of a pregnancy and having your family actively reject you and try to sabotage you must have been very painful. Plus, pregnancy puts a lot of mental stress on women and you've had three in such a short time span, I just want you to take care of yourself and get what you want in life, and I think that will start with you taking care of your mental health.
Beth: what I want... IS FOR YOU TO GO STRAIGHT TO HELL! Beth then calls me every cuss word, expletive, and derogatory word she can think of one of the words she called me was a derogatory word about people from my ethnicity and my blood is boiling that she thought it was okay to say that to me.
So, I'm now on her hit list. She's been blowing up my social media all day, on her last FB post where she called me a slur she said that she still expects a good wedding gift from me. Yeah, no. So I've blocked her on everything, and I've decided to completely cut off contact. This will be my last update.
TL:DR - Beth went on a social media blackout for a bit, had baby C. Gave up all her kids, baby A is still with Adam, Baby B and Baby C are with a mutual cousin of Adam and Chad and baby B's grandparents have access. Chad cheated on her and she forgave him, but she probably shouldn't have. She's decided to have her wedding in a little over a month in Cancun and is expecting unreasonable things of everyone already. She asked me to be MOH I respectfully declined. I also suggested that she talk to a mental health professional because she's been through a lot in the last few years and she cussed me out, she also called me a derogatory name directed at people of my ethnicity and that was the final nail in the coffin. I'm now on her hit list. But her kids are safe and I have no interest in going to wedding so I'm cutting contact completely and have already blocked her on all my socials. I'm refusing to be involved with her anymore and will not be updating on the situation.
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--- EDIT - NEW UPDATE --- - JANUARY 25, 2023 - TL:DR AT THE BOTTOM
Hi, everyone, I didn't think I would be making another update, but here I am. I don't know if anyone will even care but whatever. I saw a YouTuber, Charlotte Dobre, do an entire video about this post on Facebook (which was funny, she did it well), [editor's note: here's the video in question and also: check out Charlotte Dobre's subreddit !] and got so nervous that Beth was gonna see it. Turned out, she's seen it and does not give a single damn, because as I pointed out, the majority of the info in this post came from her public social media. She also doesn't know who posted it (more on that in the update). I am still no contact with Beth and have no plans to change that anytime soon, but we have mutual friends who have told and shown me what's happened.
First things first, she and Chad did get married, but they eloped. According to all sources they are completely and utterly miserable though. Chad has proven to be and overall lazy and unfaithful husband, and Beth has really gotten into feminism (with a focus on reproductive issues) after she started using birth control, and Roe v Wade getting overturned (even though we're in Canada) really caused tension in their marriage. As it turns out, Chad thinks that abortion is murder and God created women for the purpose of making babies.
Beth tried to argue that not all women want or should be mothers using herself as an example, and then Chad went ahead and used her as an example of why women should be forced to have kids, because in the end she gave kids to an infertile couple. She didn't take that well and said that her entire life and future was ripped away from her and destroyed the second she got pregnant with baby A. Adam was never slut shamed or demeaned like she was, both at home and at school (which is a fair point, myself and many others were helpful and supportive but there were a lot of people who judged the hell out of her and said really nasty stuff) and that if she hadn't gotten pregnant she would've gone to college or university because she lost the general and financial support of her family with that positive pregnancy test. Chad has made a Tinder account. Beth was informed but it doesn't seem like she gave a damn.
So basically you could cut the tension with a knife.
And with her family, her sister came out as gay and cut off/has been cut off from their parents. But she's got a partial scholarship so she's doing okay. She and Beth are NOT on good terms but have met up and acknowledged that their parents messed them up by being religious nuts and their parents encouraged them to be competitive with each other and sabotage each other. Apparently their dad's motto is "competition brings out the best in everyone" (ugh). But they've talked and that's good enough for now.
Neither Beth nor Chad have custody or visitation of their children, which Chad is starting to regret because he's suddenly getting more and more into the church and religion. Chad talked to Beth about getting baby C back but Beth shut that down hard and warned the cousin who adopted baby C (officially and legally btw).
Beth started going to therapy after she and Chad got married, which makes me very happy and excited for her.
There was a rumour going around that Chad has a mistress and it took me a while to confirm, but it's true. He's cheating on her with a paramedic and she knows. Beth is fully aware. Idk if she plans to do anything about it or just continue to ignore it, but I hope she leaves his ass. I'm still not gonna talk to her, she crossed so many lines, but she's grown and improved a lot and her life would be a lot better without that sac of scum in her life.
Now, I have given a few details in my post that should've revealed my identity to her, namely her asking me to be her MOH. I have found out that she actually asked around 15 girls (including myself) to be her MOH, without telling any of us about the others because she was trying to get money from all of us and because her mental health has just been very bad and she needed help. And of those 15, 8 have been going to school out of province and of those eight we all had basically the same classes in high school. And apparently doesn't remember our discussion at the vaccination clinic and had major blow up with everyone she asked to be MOH. So she knows it's one of 8 people and reportedly has no interest in trying to narrow that number down. (Chad did the same thing with his groomsmen, but idk any of the numbers)
TL:DR Beth and Chad got married (eloped), are miserable, have zero custody or visitation with any of their children, Chad's cheating and Beth doesn't appear to care, Chad is super sexist, Beth is a feminist now, Beth's sister is gay and they've talked but not reconciled, Beth asked too many girls to be MOH for money and doesn't know the ID of who made this post.
Dear "Beth", if this post gets forwarded to you or somehow graces your phone screen, leave Chad. He's trash and you'll be much better without him in your life. And though I'm not willing to talk to you again because of your words and actions, I do wish for you to have a wonderful and happy life.
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Please remember the NO BRIGADING RULE: do not comment on the original posts linked in BoRUs, see Rule 7. Doing so can result into a permanent ban from this sub and the other linked sub(s).
I'm not the OOP!
submitted by strubisach to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
This post was originally posted to weddingshaming.
There was already a BoRU post by u/autochthonouschimera, which didn't include the last update yet.
TRIGGER WARNING: cheating, child neglect, extreme entitledness, talk of abortion
MOOD SPOILERS: infuriating, confusing, frustrating
The new update at the bottom of this post has been marked with --- ---
EDIT/DISCLAIMER: FFS FOLLOW THE NO BRIGADING RULE = DO NOT COMMENT ON THE ORIGINAL POSTS LINKED IN BoRUs!! THIS OFC ALSO INCLUDES NOT TEXTING THE OOP DIRECTLY, NOT REPORTING THEM TO SUBS LIKE care AND NOT INCLUDING THEM IN THREADS AND DISCUSSIONS!! LEAVE THEM ALONE, THIS SUB IS MADE TO LURK AND GET SOME SPICY STORIES WITH CLOSURE, NOT TO HARRASS PEOPLE WHO ALREADY GOT ALOT OF INPUT THROUGH DIFFERENT SUBs!!
Original story was posted on December 7, 2021
Okay, so this girl I know from high school is getting married. We're both 22, for reference. In our senior year of high school she got pregnant, with baby daddy A who will be referred to as Adam. Her super conservative parents kicked her out and she ended up moving in with a friend's family. She barely graduated high school. The only reason she did were because of the generosity and support of our teachers and students who volunteered to help her, which is how we met. We were in the same law class in the morning and she had the worst morning sickness that really affected her ability to be in class. So, I took extra notes for her, tutored her, and brought her her stuff if she hadn't come back by the bell. I wasn't the only one who did stuff like this for her and I know she really appreciates all the assistance we gave her. She had the baby a month after we graduated.
She'd signed up for a 911 dispatcher course for after high school because where we live it's a good steady job, with opportunity for certificates and promotions. But she didn't realize how intensive the course would be and had to drop out. She started working at a grocery store bakery, just until she had a better plan. Adam started an apprenticeship while working part time at a hockey rink, and proposed to her literally the day of her eighteenth birthday, and brought up marriage because "it's the right thing to do" (I don't really agree with that but this isn't about me) and she was always refusing.
She started cheating on him after a while (we're all 19 now), and eventually leaves him for another guy because... She's pregnant again and it is far more likely that this guy, baby daddy B who will be referred to as Brad, is the father of the child. Neither of them can afford lawyers so getting any kind of custody agreement is a mess, and then their parents got involved and they did 50/50 split (still not made official). She has the baby, that does turn out to be Brad's, and everything is okay for about nine months, when she finds out Brad has been cheating on her with his TA. Brad decides to pay child support but doesn't really want contact with the kid, only around holidays and one weekend a month for his parents' sake.
She moves back in with her parents (we're all 20 now) who only accept her back because there's grandchildren around. On the plus side, (when she's 21) she gets to take that year long dispatcher course, and passes with flying colours!
After working as a dispatcher for a year (we're all 22 now) she meets a police officer we'll call Chad, who's 26 and married... And Adam's second (?) cousin (I can't remember how they're related, just that Adam and Chad are related somewhat distantly). She has an affair with him (infidelity is super common among cops apparently). She gets knocked up, his wife divorces him, Chad proposes because "it's the right thing to do", she accepts, and her parents kick her out again for being a [insert expletive here], she moves in with Chad with her two kids. They've started planning the wedding, which... Given the background is something akin to a dumpster fire. Adam is LIVID. He was desperately in love with this girl and hasn't really recovered from what she did to him, and while she rejected his proposals years ago, she's accepted one FROM HIS COUSIN WHO PROPSED FOR THE SAME REASON HE DID.
Adam has basically made a call for loyalty in the family, dividing everyone one who should go, who should give money, etc plus they're having trouble planning anything because of COVID. Her parents have outright said that they're not going, along with half of her family, and her younger sister has been going around and sabotaging what plans they can make.
She has asked me to be a bridesmaid, I said that I couldn't because I live in a different province now, but the truth is, I do not want to be wrapped up in that clusterfuck in any way . I'm just watching the arguments and events unfold on social media because this is quite honestly the most entertaining thing I've seen all year. It's weird to me that she even asked because we're not friends, we never have been. We were friendly strangers in high school, I just helped her out for one class because she needed help and I could give it to her. I was just being nice. But based on how she turned out I'm just sad for her. Three kids in four years, and she's alienated so much of her friends and family because if her actions, and I'm torn between feeling sorry for her and putting my head in my hands.
EDIT 1:
First off, all of your comments are hilarious. Second, I'm going to answer some of the common questions.
We're from a city with over 400,000 thousand people, she just comes from the neighbourhood that is made of either bible thumpers or white trash, with no in between. But the high school we went to was in a completely different neighbourhood than that.
Our school had a pretty good sex Ed course, and they gave out free condoms and had resources to help girls get birth control, and they had programs in place for if students ever got pregnant/were going to be teen parents (they also had one of those classes with the dolls for girls who were high risk at teen pregnancy but she wasn't high risk so she wasn't in that class) I don't if BC just didn't work for her, or if she never tried it.
She started alienating her friends after the affair with Chad came out, because people weren't exactly jumping for joy that she'd broken up a marriage (Chad and his ex didn't have any kids, thankfully, so there were less obstacles). When people weren't immediately ecstatic for her she started getting very snippy, rude, and was "calling the bitches out" on social media for not supporting her new relationship or pregnancy. (Tbh I'm really worried about her health because having this many babies so close together is just not good for her health, mental or physical.) People are also worried that Chad will cheat on her "if he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you" and think she should avoid marrying him so that she can just leave him if it happens.
I'll give you updates as they come out, but so far it's just a lot of yelling on social media (mostly from her), some relatives slut shaming her, and people who are just really worried about her because, as funny as this is, this doesn't seem like healthy behaviour.
EDIT 2:
First off, I realized I never gave this girl a name. For the sake of clarity we'll call her Beth. I realize that I didn't mention this before, but all of these are fake names.
Second, to everyone commenting that Chad is at fault for his marriage breaking up, believe me I'm well aware of that. It is his ex wife and her family/friends who solely blame Beth. Chad is also older than her and has more life experience, so I do believe that he could potentially be taking advantage of her naivete. However, she is also an adult who is capable of making her own decisions and has chosen to make poor ones in the past.
Third, people who are upset that I'm posting this story here, claiming I'm humiliating her. She has been posting about this mess on every social media platform she has since they got engaged in July. She put this out there long before I did except she did so in front of friends, family, employers, and coworkers, as well as internet randos.
Fourth, despite getting engaged in July and attempting to start planning then, I was only asked to be a bridesmaid three days ago. I knew that there was a mess going on but I didn't really pay attention to it until she asked me to be a bridesmaid. I tried to ask what was going on, I said that she should talk to someone, but when she completely brushed me off I checked her FB and Instagram and found out about all of... This.
Fifth, I realized that I didn't really talk about how disastrous the wedding planning has been going, see here you go:
- they've had to rebook three times because venues and vendors kept cancelling when infection numbers got worse even thought their wedding was months away
- Beth has been flipping between having the wedding while she's pregnant saying she's proud of her bump, and wanting to wait until they're born because she feels fat, which is unfortunate because she's been breaking down due her insecurity on a public platform
- Beth is currently seven months pregnant
- Beth's great aunt was going to give her her wedding dress to wear (after she gives birth) but Beth's mom freaked and stole the dress from said aunt before Beth could get it and is now keeping it, the great aunt says she's too old to get in a fight and has shrugged it off
- Chad's immediate family is paying for the wedding and has been cut off by the rest of their extended family for 'choosing Chad'
- Beth's wedding colours are pink and green, which is usually a nice combo but the specific shades don't go great together, they're her and Chad's favourite colours, which is fine but she literally made a video talking about these colours for 14 minutes on her insta and both of her kids are just full on bawling in the background and she's ignoring them and she's gotten some flack for that
- Adam is finally settled into his trade and has now hired a lawyer and is trying to get primary custody and not allow his daughter to go to the wedding
- she's planning a zoom baby showebachelorette party and has sent out a registry and she's asking for crazy expensive things
- she's also set up a go fund me to help pay for a honeymoon and is making a lot of posts about how no one loves her cause the fund only has $1267 of the $20k she wanted
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UPDATE:
Hey everyone, so some stuff has gone down, and it doesn't look like it's over yet. Sorry, I didn't update sooner, but Rona came back with a vengeance and totally messed up plans with uni and family. Anyway, onto the update.
From the last update - 16th - Lots of ranting and chaotic wedding planning on social media, she found a dress and has decided she will get married while pregnant, they found a local wedding venue that is very lovely, but I'm shocked she's still trying to book stuff with all of their previous venue cancellations.
December 16th - Her little sister unblocked her to call her a s*ut and tell her that all her wedding plans were stupid. This resulted in a petty and entertaining facebook war until the little sis blocked her again on the 17th.
December 18th - Beth went nuts on social media because Adam had "kidnapped" their daughter, what really happened is that because courts are moving at a snail's pace due to COVID and Adam had reason to believe that their daughter was not safe living with Beth he decided to just... Not give her back. They don't have a custody agreement, and when Beth tried to call the cops they couldn't do anything because he was kinda right. There were dozens of videos on her various social media accounts of her ignoring their daughter, yelling at her daughter for crying or doing other things that toddlers do, it turns out that everything she needed was bought by Adam, food, diapers, clothes, toys, daycare (while it was open) etc. on top of the unofficial child support he was paying every month (which turned out to be $500 a month, a number I find ridiculous because Adam was already paying for literally everything) because she refused to buy anything for her daughter and insisted it was Adam's responsibility. Additionally, after the immediate post-birth appointments, Beth never took baby A to a doctor's appointment, she always deferred that to Adam. Baby A's pediatrician has NEVER met Beth. Beth even tried to get Chad to push back or intimidate him or something, but the local police where we live are under one hell of a microscope after a bunch of dirty cops got busted a couple of years ago. Basically, the cops, and the social worker they ended up calling, ended up saying there was nothing she could do until they get to court. The social worker tried to get her to go to therapy and parenting classes, but Beth refused and went on a fifteen paragraph long rant on Facebook about how she doesn't need parenting classes or therapy (she really, really does though) and called the social worker some choice words.
December 19-24 - Just a bunch of ranting on social media, calling everyone who doesn't enable or justify her behaviour cuss words, slurs, and a whole bunch of other horribly creative things. Also, both she and Chad are under investigation at work now, but she has no idea why. I'm gonna take this time to remind everyone that 99% of this info is coming from her public social media pages where her coworkers are friends and place of employment is listed.
December 25 - I am officially embarrassed to know this woman. I didn't go on her FB page until the evening cause I didn't want to deal with drama, first thing in the morning, on Xmas. In the morning she put on a very beautiful blue maternity dress, got Chad in his police blues, and baby B in a purple romper, and then live-streamed her and her family going to the courthouse to get married on Christmas day. (According to her Twitter, part of this was because their newest venue cancelled on them after COVID numbers spiked) Overall, a pretty tacky thing in my opinion because she stated plain as day, several times, that she intended her wedding anniversary to eclipse Christmas for her children because it's just "so much more special, you know?" (I am so glad that Baby B's grandparents are filing for guardianship) But here's the thing... The courthouse isn't open. Because of COVID for one thing, but also because it's Xmas and Canada has a predominantly Christian history. She proceeded to have a full meltdown, and when Baby B cried because, y'know, the kid's mom was screaming up a storm and scaring her, Beth called her a c*nt. Yup. So done with this bitch.
December 28 - I ran into her at a vaccine clinic cause we were both getting our booster shots. She didn't recognize me at first but one of my old bosses (cause I used to work at the hospital the vaccine clinic was in) called my name and said hi, so she came up to me after my old boss had left. We talked a bit while we sat down for the mandatory waiting period after getting the shot. She asked how I was but didn't even wait for me to respond before she started ranting and complaining about her life. I was just going to sit there until the time was up and then just politely make my exit, but when she started talking shit about her kids something inside me snapped. I just said "Do you even like your kids? Do you like being a mom?" She got pretty quiet for a second and then said "no". Idk, her voice and demeanour completely changed and we just sat in silence until our time was up. I said goodbye but it was really awkward.
December 31st (today) - I just looked at her feed and, this is such a shocking what-the-actual-f*** moment. She's thinking about giving up her kids. She went on about how recently she was asked if she liked her kids or being a mom, and how she realized that she didn't. She hates her children and blames them for ruining her life, and how she doesn't want to be a mom. I mean, nothing is official yet, but what the hell?!
I'll update as stuff happens now that I have the time, but this whole thing has been a big giant mess. Also, sorry for any formatting or grammatical errors, I'm not used to using Reddit on my PC.
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UPDATE
Okay, so, some stuff has happened and most of it's good? Also, the TL:DR for this update will be at the bottom
Jan 4th - Beth (and Chad) stopped posting on all social media. I was actually a little worried she died, I mean this woman posts everything short of her trips to the bathroom on IG.
Oddly enough, this got people messaging or interacting with her social media pages because she was usually the one to start contact, and that contact was usually yelling. No one heard from them and some people started to be like "should we call the cops for a wellness check?" Until Chad posted a status saying that they're fine but are "busy, please stop trying to contact us right now". Everyone listened but it was weird.
Jan 11 - I got a notification that Beth and Chad are active on social media again, but I didn't feel like drama so I didn't check out any of their posts.
Jan 12 (today) - she messaged me on FB asking me to be her MOH. She also kept going on about the resort in Cancun that she and Chad were looking to have their wedding at... This coming February. Omnicrom is really bad where we are, so no one should be travelling anywhere. I've actually had to delay my trip back to the province where I go to university. No one should be travelling anywhere.
Beth also found out that Chad was cheating on her with one of her co-workers and called the woman a "homewrecker" on FB tagged her, and posted the texts she found on Chad's phone. But Chad is the "love of her life" so she's forgiven him, but not the other woman. Which I find very hypocritical, considering how she and Chad got together.
She also sent pics of possible bridesmaid dresses and they are the most hideous dresses I've ever seen. I know that some brides do that thing where they want to look a million times better by comparison but this was just ridiculous. One of them looked like a partially deflated balloon with feathers strapped to it. She also openly admitted that she expected everyone attending to pay 3k, 2k would go towards that guest's stay at the resort and 1k would go to her and Chad and they will expected wedding gifts, so that they could get their room for free. Apparently, she talked to someone at the resort and if she got enough people to book their rooms she and Chad would get theirs for free. She also wanted the money to be given to her instead of directly to the hotel so that people wouldn't realize that she was taking 1k of their money. Beth sent me a pic of the wedding dress she wanted, and it's definitely a clubbing dress. If that's what she wants that's fine (and for the record I do think she would look great in it, Beth's (current) dream wedding dress ) but she wants all the guests to be dressed black tie. And she's already sent a list of unreasonable requests. Such as;
- all women must wear heels (for a wedding in the beach???)
- no one is allowed to have a baby or be pregnant (really?)
- girls must have longer than shoulder length hair, boys must have very short hair, only and inch or two long
- no one is allowed to be skinnier than her
- she will be providing diets for everyone attending based on how she wants us to look
- she and Chad must get bachelor and bachelorette parties both in Canada and in Mexico that need to be "fit for a king and queen" and both must be paid for but anyone but the bride and groom "cause that's just tacky"
- no unnatural hair
- no tattoos (you have five tattoos, Beth, and in the dress you want all will be on full display)
- no one is allowed to talk to her directly, they must speak through the MOH and BM
I was also just kinda weirded out because aside from the previous convo at the hospital and when she originally asked me to be a bridesmaid, we haven't spoken since high school. So I respectfully declined, stating that the virus and school were my top concerns right now. Then, I decided to check her socials to see if she'd posted anything. She had and everything was basically how it was before the hiatus... Except her kids are nowhere to be found. No "look at my cute baby" pics are kids crying in the background of her videos. Nothing. Though, based on her new pics of herself, she's given birth to baby C. I mean, she's definitely still recovering, but she also definitely had a baby and that baby is not on any of her socials, so when she responded to my decline with an attempt at guilting me to be her MOH, I asked her where her kids were. This was her response.
"Oh, I left them at the side of the road in our way home from the hospital those moochers could walk home lol"
I was like, please tell me you're not being serious (especially cause it looks like she had the baby days ago). And she replied "I was just joking you shouldn't be so serious all the time". Honey, you made a joke about child abandonment/abuse, you're not being serious enough. And then I finally got the update on the kids.
- Baby A is still with Adam, Beth signed away her rights
- Baby B and Baby C have been given to a mutual cousin of Adam and Chad who is infertile (tbh I didn't need that last tidbit of info or the three paragraph long rant about how God hates infertile women, I didn't even read all of it, I couldn't, and I didn't think that Beth could be so cruel to even think those things). I checked out the FB page of Baby B's grandparents and they're happy with their grandchild's new parents, it looks like the cousin and her husband and welcoming them to the family as another set of grandparents and will let them have access to B. So yay!
- One thing I do need to stress though is that because of COVID the courts in our areas are either moving at a snail's pace or closed, so none of this is "official" but Beth (and Chad) has signed paperwork and all that needs to happen now is presenting that to a judge.
After learning all this my convo with Beth started to go down hill...
Beth: wait, did you actually think I would just leave my kids at the side of the road! I just didn't want to be a mom, but I wasn't a bad one
Me: Beth, I think that you've been through a lot of trauma in the past few years, and that it's gotten to you mentally and that you should speak to a professional.
(Of course, Beth has been a bad mom, but she does need mental health help and I wasn't going to convince her to get it, or to not tell at me, if I said that )
Beth: what? You think I'm crazy?!
Me: no. I think that getting kicked out as a teen because of a pregnancy and having your family actively reject you and try to sabotage you must have been very painful. Plus, pregnancy puts a lot of mental stress on women and you've had three in such a short time span, I just want you to take care of yourself and get what you want in life, and I think that will start with you taking care of your mental health.
Beth: what I want... IS FOR YOU TO GO STRAIGHT TO HELL! Beth then calls me every cuss word, expletive, and derogatory word she can think of one of the words she called me was a derogatory word about people from my ethnicity and my blood is boiling that she thought it was okay to say that to me.
So, I'm now on her hit list. She's been blowing up my social media all day, on her last FB post where she called me a slur she said that she still expects a good wedding gift from me. Yeah, no. So I've blocked her on everything, and I've decided to completely cut off contact. This will be my last update.
TL:DR - Beth went on a social media blackout for a bit, had baby C. Gave up all her kids, baby A is still with Adam, Baby B and Baby C are with a mutual cousin of Adam and Chad and baby B's grandparents have access. Chad cheated on her and she forgave him, but she probably shouldn't have. She's decided to have her wedding in a little over a month in Cancun and is expecting unreasonable things of everyone already. She asked me to be MOH I respectfully declined. I also suggested that she talk to a mental health professional because she's been through a lot in the last few years and she cussed me out, she also called me a derogatory name directed at people of my ethnicity and that was the final nail in the coffin. I'm now on her hit list. But her kids are safe and I have no interest in going to wedding so I'm cutting contact completely and have already blocked her on all my socials. I'm refusing to be involved with her anymore and will not be updating on the situation.
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--- EDIT - NEW UPDATE --- - JANUARY 25, 2023 - TL:DR AT THE BOTTOM
Hi, everyone, I didn't think I would be making another update, but here I am. I don't know if anyone will even care but whatever. I saw a YouTuber, Charlotte Dobre, do an entire video about this post on Facebook (which was funny, she did it well), [editor's note: here's the video in question and also: check out Charlotte Dobre's subreddit !] and got so nervous that Beth was gonna see it. Turned out, she's seen it and does not give a single damn, because as I pointed out, the majority of the info in this post came from her public social media. She also doesn't know who posted it (more on that in the update). I am still no contact with Beth and have no plans to change that anytime soon, but we have mutual friends who have told and shown me what's happened.
First things first, she and Chad did get married, but they eloped. According to all sources they are completely and utterly miserable though. Chad has proven to be and overall lazy and unfaithful husband, and Beth has really gotten into feminism (with a focus on reproductive issues) after she started using birth control, and Roe v Wade getting overturned (even though we're in Canada) really caused tension in their marriage. As it turns out, Chad thinks that abortion is murder and God created women for the purpose of making babies.
Beth tried to argue that not all women want or should be mothers using herself as an example, and then Chad went ahead and used her as an example of why women should be forced to have kids, because in the end she gave kids to an infertile couple. She didn't take that well and said that her entire life and future was ripped away from her and destroyed the second she got pregnant with baby A. Adam was never slut shamed or demeaned like she was, both at home and at school (which is a fair point, myself and many others were helpful and supportive but there were a lot of people who judged the hell out of her and said really nasty stuff) and that if she hadn't gotten pregnant she would've gone to college or university because she lost the general and financial support of her family with that positive pregnancy test. Chad has made a Tinder account. Beth was informed but it doesn't seem like she gave a damn.
So basically you could cut the tension with a knife.
And with her family, her sister came out as gay and cut off/has been cut off from their parents. But she's got a partial scholarship so she's doing okay. She and Beth are NOT on good terms but have met up and acknowledged that their parents messed them up by being religious nuts and their parents encouraged them to be competitive with each other and sabotage each other. Apparently their dad's motto is "competition brings out the best in everyone" (ugh). But they've talked and that's good enough for now.
Neither Beth nor Chad have custody or visitation of their children, which Chad is starting to regret because he's suddenly getting more and more into the church and religion. Chad talked to Beth about getting baby C back but Beth shut that down hard and warned the cousin who adopted baby C (officially and legally btw).
Beth started going to therapy after she and Chad got married, which makes me very happy and excited for her.
There was a rumour going around that Chad has a mistress and it took me a while to confirm, but it's true. He's cheating on her with a paramedic and she knows. Beth is fully aware. Idk if she plans to do anything about it or just continue to ignore it, but I hope she leaves his ass. I'm still not gonna talk to her, she crossed so many lines, but she's grown and improved a lot and her life would be a lot better without that sac of scum in her life.
Now, I have given a few details in my post that should've revealed my identity to her, namely her asking me to be her MOH. I have found out that she actually asked around 15 girls (including myself) to be her MOH, without telling any of us about the others because she was trying to get money from all of us and because her mental health has just been very bad and she needed help. And of those 15, 8 have been going to school out of province and of those eight we all had basically the same classes in high school. And apparently doesn't remember our discussion at the vaccination clinic and had major blow up with everyone she asked to be MOH. So she knows it's one of 8 people and reportedly has no interest in trying to narrow that number down. (Chad did the same thing with his groomsmen, but idk any of the numbers)
TL:DR Beth and Chad got married (eloped), are miserable, have zero custody or visitation with any of their children, Chad's cheating and Beth doesn't appear to care, Chad is super sexist, Beth is a feminist now, Beth's sister is gay and they've talked but not reconciled, Beth asked too many girls to be MOH for money and doesn't know the ID of who made this post.
Dear "Beth", if this post gets forwarded to you or somehow graces your phone screen, leave Chad. He's trash and you'll be much better without him in your life. And though I'm not willing to talk to you again because of your words and actions, I do wish for you to have a wonderful and happy life.
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I'm not the OOP!
2024.05.13 02:15 nomorelandfills No, You Beg - 2021 article from The Cut about the difficulty in adopting in the COVID era
 | Another copied article to keep in reserve. It's an odd article from the pandemic, recounting the boom in rescue adoptions. It is a fairly pointless article in that it uses some really shifty rescuers, including Pixies and Paws, as sources, brightly highlights a bioethicist who uses her own foolish adoption of two pit bull mixes as evidence that most people shouldn't own dogs, and chronicles but fails to understand the loathing rescuers have for adopters. It does, however, wonderfully illustrate how rapidly the good times ended in rescue. Anyone reading the the current "we've never been so overwhelmed with dogs" rescue laments should know that there's a link between today's problems and yesterday's reckless opportunism. submitted by nomorelandfills to PetRescueExposed [link] [comments] The "bioethicist" “I think it’s probably true that the majority of people who want to adopt a dog should not,” Jessica Pierce, a bioethicist who studies human-animal relationships, tells me. “They don’t have the wherewithal and don’t have what they need to give the animal a good life.” She herself ended up with two pets that didn’t get along at all — a herding mix and a pointer mix whose constant fighting made the idea of hosting a dinner party both perhaps “bloody” and definitely “scary and miserable.” She says shelters shouldn’t “drive away potentially loving and appropriate adopters because they don’t meet predetermined criteria,” but she also sees the importance of a thorough application process that prepares humans for the pitfalls of pet parenthood. “You need to be ready to have a dog who doesn’t like people very much,” says Pierce. When Bella, the 11-year-old she got from the Humane Society, dies, she’s not sure she will get a replacement, noting that the pandemic puppy boom is “driven by a reflection of human narcissism and neurosis.” However, this is a fantastic truth long overdue for the telling. “I started to talk to shelter leaders across the country,” Cushing says. “And one by one, they said any adoptable dog without a medical issue is gone by noon on Saturday. But the public didn’t know that. Only the dog seekers and the experts did.” https://preview.redd.it/v2owlquz230d1.png?width=1139&format=png&auto=webp&s=a95a7983b4f018f043125a0819a16941cec1e6aa Jack, adopted by Tori and Paris through In Our Hands Rescue. It was a rainy Sunday in June, and Danielle had fallen in love. The 23-year-old paralegal spent the first part of her afternoon in McCarren Park, envying the happy dog owners with their furry companions. Then she stumbled upon an adoption event in a North Brooklyn beer garden, where a beagle mix being paraded out of the rescue van reminded her of the dog she grew up with, Snickers. It all felt like fate, so she filled out an application on the spot. She was then joined by her best friend and roommate, Alexa, in sitting across from a serious-looking young woman with a ponytail who was searching for a reason to break her heart. Danielle and Alexa were confident they would be leaving with Millie that day: After all, they had a 1,000-square-foot apartment within blocks of McCarren and full-time employment with the ability to work from home for the foreseeable future. But the volunteer kept posing questions that they hadn’t prepared for. What if they stopped living together? What if Danielle’s girlfriend’s collie mix didn’t get along with her new family member? What would be the solution if the dog needed expensive training for behavioral issues? Which vet were they planning to use? All of which, upon reflection, were reasonable questions. But when it came to the diet they planned for the dog, they realized they were out of their depth. Danielle recalled that Snickers had lived to 16 and a half on a diet of Blue Buffalo Wilderness, the most expensive stuff that was available at her parents’ Bay Area pet store. “Would you want to live on the best version of Lean Cuisine for the rest of your life?” sniffed the volunteer with a frown. She would instead recommend a small-batch, raw-food brand that cost, when they looked it up later, up to $240 a bag. “If you were approved, you’d need to get the necessary supplies and take time off from work starting now,” the dog gatekeeper said. “And the first 120 days would be considered a trial period, meaning we would reserve the right to take your dog back at any time.” The would-be adopters nodded solemnly. The friends rose from the bench and thanked the volunteer for her time. Believing they were out of earshot, the volunteer summed up the interview to a colleague: “You just walked by, and you’re fixated on this one dog, and it’s because you had a beagle growing up, but you want to make your roommate the legal adopter?” When Danielle and Alexa were young, one could still show up at a shelter, pick out an unhoused dog that just wanted to have someone to love, and take it home that same day. Today, much of the process has moved online — to Petfinder, a.k.a. Tinder for dogs, and various animal-shelter Instagram accounts that send cute puppy pics with heartrending stories of need into your feed and compel you to fill out an adoption application as you sit on the toilet. Posts describing the dogs drip with euphemisms: A dog that might freak out and tear your house up if left alone is a “Velcro dog”; one that might knock down your children is “overly exuberant”; a skittish, neglected dog with trust issues is just a “shy party girl.” Certain shelters have become influencers in their own right, like the L.A.-based Labelle Foundation, which has almost 250,000 Instagram followers and counts Dua Lipa and Cara Delevingne among its A-list clients. Rescue agencies abound, many with missions so specific that you could theoretically find one that deals in any niche breed you desire, from affenpinschers to Yorkshire terriers. This deluge of rescue-puppy content has arrived, not coincidentally, during a time of growing awareness of puppy mills as so morally indefensible that even Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez could draw fire for seemingly buying a purebred French bulldog in early 2020. Then came the pandemic puppy boom, a lonely, claustrophobic year in which thousands of white-collar workers, sitting at home scrolling through their phones, seemed simultaneously to decide they were finally ready to adopt a dog. The corresponding demand spike in certain markets has simply overwhelmed the agencies: New York shelters that were used to receiving 20 applications a week were now receiving hundreds, with as many as 50 people vying for a single pup. The rescue dog is now, indisputably, a luxury good, without a market pricing system at work to manage demand. A better analogy might be an Ivy League admissions office. But even Harvard isn’t forced to be as picky as, say, Korean K9 Rescue, whose average monthly applications tripled in 2020. And yet someone has to pick the winners — often an unpaid millennial Miss Hannigan doling out a precious number of wet-nosed Orphan Annies to wannabe Daddy Warbuckses and thus empowered to judge the intentions and poop-scooping abilities of otherwise accomplished urban professionals, some of whom actually did go to Harvard. This has led to some hard feelings. Every once in a while, someone will complain on Twitter about being rejected by a rescue agency, and it will reliably set off a cascade of attacks on “entitled rich white millennials assuming they can have whatever they want,” followed by counter-attacks on those who “appoint themselves the holy sainted guardian of all animals.” Danielle was ultimately deemed unworthy, not even receiving a generic rejection letter over email. After all, there isn’t really that much incentive for the rescue agencies to be polite these days. The modern animal-rescue movement grew alongside the child-welfare movement in the mid-19th century. It got another boost in the years following World War II, when Americans were moving out to the suburbs in droves, according to Stephen Zawistowski, a professor of animal behavior at Hunter College. Suddenly, there were highways, yards, and space. Walt Disney was making movies about children and dogs that promoted the idea that no new home was complete without a loyal animal companion. (Zawistowski said that one might call this the Old Yeller Effect, but there were various riffs on the same theme over the ensuing decades. Essentially, Flipper was “Let’s put Lassie in the water.”) In the early ’80s, University of Pennsylvania researchers confirmed the effects that animal companionship has on everything from blood pressure to heart conditions to anxiety. Pets were no longer just how you taught Junior to be responsible; they might be critical to maintaining adults’ physical and mental health. The way people spoke about animals started changing. The idea that “homeless” dogs were sent to the “pound” because they were “bad” went out of fashion. “Suddenly, you had ‘rescue’ dogs brightly lit in the mall,” says Ed Sayres, a former president of the ASPCA who now works as a pet-industry consultant. “Basically, we gave animals a promotion.” Meanwhile, in the late ’80s, spay and neuter procedures had been streamlined and were being recommended by vets as well as by Bob Barker on The Price Is Right. Then came The Ad. Released in 2007, it featured close-ups of three-legged dogs and one-eyed cats rescued by the ASPCA over a wrenching rendition of Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel.” The commercial warned that “for hundreds of others, help came too late.” In just a year, the ad raised 60 percent of the ASPCA’s annual $50 million budget. The organization was reportedly able to increase the grant money it gave to other animal-welfare organizations by 900 percent in ten years. It is difficult to overstate the emotional hangover The Ad inflicted on millennials and members of Gen Z. Janet M. Davis is a historian at the University of Texas at Austin, where she lectures on animal rights to a demographically diverse body of students — everyone from cattle ranchers to vegan punks — most of whom cry when she shows The Ad in class. “It absolutely brings down the house,” she says. “Every time.” Theoretically, the point of dog adoption is that there are more dogs born into the world than there are humans lined up to care for them. But as interest grew, the supply problem became less acute. Thanks to widespread spay and neuter policies, there are simply too few unwanted litters for what the adoption market wants. National chains like PetSmart partnered with local shelters to supply its animals for sale. Savvy rescues in dog deserts like New York hooked up with shelters in the Deep South, where cultural attitudes toward spaying and neutering pets are much more lax. While there is no official registry of how many shelter dogs are available in the U.S., in 2017, researchers at the College of Veterinary Medicine for Mississippi State University published a study reporting that the availability of dogs in animal shelters was at an all-time low. “That is,” says Sayres, “an environment that leads to a kind of irrational, competitive behavior.” The rescue mutt had become not just a virtue signal but a virtue test. Who was a good enough human being to deserve a dog in need of rescuing? Heather remembers the old easy days. “I went on Craigslist and an hour later, I had a puggle,” she says of her first dog-getting experience with her boyfriend in college. George the puggle humped everything in sight, shed everywhere, and chewed through furniture until the end of his life, but she loved him all the same. Flash-forward 16 years: She and that boyfriend are married, have two kids, and can’t seem to get a new dog no matter what they try. Yes, she could find a breeder easily online (currently for sale on Craigslist: a Yorkie-poo puppy from a breeder asking $350 and just a few screening questions). But instead, in the middle of the pandemic, “I was sending ten to 12 emails a night and willing to travel anywhere, and no one would give us any sort of animal,” she remembers. Shelters would send snappy emails about how her family wasn’t suited for a puppy, even though they made good money and had clearly cared for their dearly departed George — they once drove three hours to get the dog a specially made knee brace. “I was trying to be really up front with people and would say that my daughter has autism and that I have a 3-year-old, and they would say no. It felt like they were saying, ‘We don’t give dogs to people who have disabilities.’ ” It didn’t matter what kind of dog she applied for — older, younger, bigger, smaller — there was always an official-sounding excuse as to why her family wasn’t suitable. (“Pups this age bite and jump and scratch and while they are cute to look at, they are worse than a bratty ADHD toddler, without diapers,” one rescue wrote. “Sorry.”) She considered looking at emotional-support animals that work specifically with autistic youth but found out they could cost 18 grand and require a two-year waiting period. She couldn’t stomach the idea of setting up a GoFundMe, as other people in the community had. “It got to the point of me wondering, Okay, so what dogs do children get?” she recalls. “I always thought that dogs and children go together.” By the fall of 2020, Heather had turned back to breeders. “People get a little spicy when you say you paid for a dog. You want to scream that you tried your hardest, but it wasn’t possible,” she says. Others, like Zainab, figured out ways to work the system. She blanketed agencies with applications in the early months of the pandemic, applying for 60 dogs. (The ease of applying online might also explain the statistics.) She thought the fact that she had a leadership role in public education would demonstrate that she was both successful and nurturing. “I’m a professional, I make good money, and I have a master’s degree,” she tells me. She was rejected all the same. Finally, a co-worker suggested Zainab make a résumé in order to stand out. The multipage document — which features testimonials from high-powered friends, including local elected officials — is what got her an exclusive meeting with Penny the pug in a parking lot. She was handed over with a leash tied around her neck and vomited in the front seat of Zainab’s car about three blocks later. Success! Or take Lauren, who’d had dogs all her life and found living solo during COVID lonely. “You can’t be without an animal at this particular time,” she told herself. So she started applying for dogs on Petfinder and boutique-rescue websites. “I would look up at my clock, and it would be two in the morning,” she says. Her hopes were high when she got a meeting with a Chihuahua mix in the suburbs named Mary Shelley. Lauren thought the meeting went well, but it ultimately didn’t result in the interviewer granting the adoption. “Then I was in conspiracy-theory mode, thinking she doesn’t like gay people, or single people, or people who live in the city,” she says. “It was a crazy-making experience. It’s a pandemic, so your world is already turned upside down, but I became psychotic. “The people who run rescue organizations — this was their moment to shine,” she adds. “Even though they were totally bogged down with requests, they got to feel the power. They got to make someone’s dreams come true or smash them to the ground.” The inquiries can get extremely personal. “I found the questions very offensive,” says Joanna, a Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center nurse who tried to adopt last year with her architect husband. “I was like, ‘What does this have to do with getting a dog?’ ” Her husband didn’t even want to put the thought out into the universe, but he was forced to admit that he’d probably be the one to take a shared pet in the event of a divorce. The two also had to grapple with what would happen if one or both of them died of COVID during the pandemic. And would both of them be able to take three days off at a moment’s notice to help the dog acclimate to its new home? “I was frank with her and said, ‘I take care of cancer patients,’ ” says Joanna. “She was very unsatisfied with our answer.” “The more popular the rescue is on the internet, the more clout they have,” says Molly, a writer in New York. “If you have a really good social-media presence, you can throw your weight around.” (The clout goes both ways: Posting about your rescue dog on Instagram is an indirect way of broadcasting that someone out there deemed you morally worthy enough to be chosen.) She inquired about eight dogs in six weeks from about five different rescues, only to be continually rejected. She finally got an interview with a rescue agency whose cute dogs she had seen on social media. They asked to tour her apartment over Zoom. Fine. They asked for her references. Great. But then they asked if she would pay for an expensive trainer. She asked if she could wait — not only was it during the height of COVID, but the cost of the sessions with the trainer could be close to $1,000. The person she was dealing with said over email that dogs were investments and suggested she look elsewhere. “I was like, This is so Brooklyn,” she says. Still, others wished the warning about trainers had been more explicit. At the height of the pandemic, Steven remembers scrolling through social-media post after social-media post saying things like “URGENT: NEED TO FIND THIS GUY A HOME” while “picturing this dog on a conveyor belt going toward this whirring saw. And meanwhile I am screaming at my phone, ‘I applied and you turned me down!’ ” But after securing a dog, he came to believe the process, while tough on the human applicants, wasn’t tough enough when it came to the dog’s needs. Right off the bat, Cooper was very hyper and mouthy when playing. “We were doing the thing that everyone does, like, posting pics: ‘We’re at the park, isn’t this fun, hahaha,’ ” he says. But the reality was much less Instagram-worthy. Cooper became difficult to handle, especially in a small New York apartment; mouthiness escalated to gnashing his teeth and guarding food. “It’s embarrassing, and I hate having to tell people we had to give the dog back,” he says. (So much so that Steven requested a pseudonym for himself and for Cooper.) “To be frank, the experience we had with the dog was pretty traumatic. If this volunteer had felt so powerful, I wish that they had said we wouldn’t be able to handle this dog.” Although Steven’sInstagram is replete with photos of other friends’ dogs, evidence of Cooper’s existence has disappeared from the account. The rescue-dog demand has also been stressful for the overwhelmed (and overwhelmingly volunteer) workforce that keeps the supply chain running. On a recent Saturday, Jason was speeding toward JFK airport in a windowless white van covered in graffiti. Though he was on his way to help rescue dogs, he is the first to admit he’s not the biggest fan of the animals. “I just need something to do,” he says. “I was going crazy sitting around the house.” His friend, who was employed at a rescue, recommended him for an unpaid gig. Prior to the pandemic, he managed an Off Broadway play in the city. The 34-year-old, who is athletically built with a shaved head, has a compulsive need to be coordinating a production, and getting dogs to New York City from a different continent is definitely that. Many of the city’s rescue dogs come from other parts of the world these days, brought over by volunteers who take them through a complicated Customs process. This is part of what Pet Nation author Mark Cushing calls the “canine freedom train.” A former corporate trial attorney, Cushing had thought that American shelters were filled with dogs with a figurative hatchet outside their kennel; that was until his daughter, a shelter volunteer, said that, in fact, scores of people were lined up around the block every weekend in hopes of adopting a handful of dogs. “I started to talk to shelter leaders across the country,” Cushing says. “And one by one, they said any adoptable dog without a medical issue is gone by noon on Saturday. But the public didn’t know that. Only the dog seekers and the experts did.” Jason waited in arrivals, ready to stop anyone who walked by with dog crates. When he saw some, he swooped in. It turned out that he had ended up with an extra animal — one that was yowling like it needed to get out and pee. He couldn’t figure out to whom it belonged, and after about 40 minutes of drama in the pickup area, two large men jumped out of a truck with out-of-state plates. They handed Jason $20 before he knew what was happening, loaded the dog into their Silverado, and sped off toward North Carolina. It was unclear if they were adopters themselves or worked for a shelter. With that out of the way, Jason tried to carefully maneuver a luggage cart full of the remaining dog crates to the lot where he was parked. When one fell, the animal inside didn’t make a sound, presumably zonked from its long journey across the ocean. More volunteers were waiting at the shelter with food, water, and an enormous number of puppy pads when he arrived. After the animals decompressed from their long flight, they would be taken to an adoption event, where they would hopefully meet their new humans. Emily Wells hasn’t taken a vacation in years. She works full time on Wall Street but is also the coordinator for Pixies & Paws Rescue — a job that she does in between calls and meetings and emails. That means responding to DMs on Instagram about available dogs, attending adoption events on weekends, and getting on the phone with a vet at 10 p.m. because one of her fosters got sick. That also means screening applications, which more than doubled during the height of the pandemic. Typically, she denies about one-third. This part of her job might not be the most physically demanding, but it does take a psychic toll. “What I’ve found is a lot of people are very entitled,” she says. “They send nasty emails. I’ve been called every name in the book. But there are reasons we deny. We are entrusted with placing a living, breathing thing in someone’s home for the rest of its life.” She wishes people would understand that the rescue is just her and one other person trying their best to deal with off-the-charts levels of demand. “I know rescues that don’t even reply,” she says. “So the fact that we do and still get shit for that is annoying.” And explaining why someone was rejected can create its own problems: What if they use that information to fib on their next application? Rescues like Wells’s are largely dependent on foster parents to house the dogs they import. Foster-to-adopt is one way that people adopt pets, a means of testing out compatibility and increasing one’s chances of adopting in a hypercompetitive city. But demand for dogs was so high last year that even proven volunteers couldn’t get their hands on a foster. Take Suchita, an animal lover who moved from India to New Jersey for her husband’s VP job with a big bank in 2019. Unable to work owing to visa issues, she became a prolific dog fosterer for a rescue in Queens. She also worked with a program that pairs volunteers with elderly animal owners who need help taking their pets out on walks. That program was suspended during COVID, which left Suchita desperate for more dog time. Figuring that online volunteer work might fill the void, she started helping another organization wade through its massive backlog of applications by calling references. She offered to foster more dogs but didn’t hear back, nor did her attempts to adopt pan out. When she went ahead and adopted Sasha, a Pomeranian, through another rescue agency, the first organization was not happy. “After I posted Sasha on Instagram, they called me saying it was a conflict of interest to have worked with another agency,” Suchita says. “I was not at all prepared for that. Then they unfollowed me. It really hurt, but no hard feelings.” She is humbly aware of the fact that in New York, there is always someone who has a nicer apartment, a better job, and more experience than you. If everything else is equal, why shouldn’t a shelter try to give a dog to someone who can afford to give it the best life possible? “They don’t treat humans nicely, but at least they treat dogs nicely,” she says. In some corners of the rescue world, a reckoning is taking place. Rachael Ziering, the executive director of Muddy Paws Rescue, which found homes for around 1,000 dogs last year, got her start volunteering at other nonprofits whose adoption processes she found abhorrent. She saw, for instance, people look at adoption applications and say, “Oh, that’s a terrible Zip Code. I’m not adopting to them.” Or they would judge people based on their appearance. “I know a lot of groups that will ask for your firstborn along with your application,” she says. “I think it’s well intentioned, but I think it just took a turn at some point. It’s morphed into sort of an unhealthy view that no one’s ever gonna be good enough. Nobody’s ever perfect — the dog or the person.” Muddy Paws is instead embracing what is known as “open adoption,” a philosophy that allows for rescue volunteers to be more open-minded about what a good dog home might look like. It has started gaining traction among groups like the ASPCA in recent years, in part because the organization’s current president was denied a dog — twice. Instead of rejecting applicants outright based on their giving the “wrong” answers, Ziering’s team speaks with hopeful dog owners at length, learning about their lifestyles and histories to match them with the pet best for their family. Still, even a more inclusive philosophy toward profiling adoption applicants comes up against the intractable math: There are only so many dogs that need homes. Though Muddy Paws rejects less than one percent of applicants, some decide to adopt elsewhere if it means getting a dog faster. Is any of this good for the dogs? Depends on whom you ask. If the intense questions involved in securing the dog cause someone to reflect before making a decision they’ll regret — sure. Others note that the average dog’s life span has hovered around 11 years for decades. “I think it’s probably true that the majority of people who want to adopt a dog should not,” Jessica Pierce, a bioethicist who studies human-animal relationships, tells me. “They don’t have the wherewithal and don’t have what they need to give the animal a good life.” She herself ended up with two pets that didn’t get along at all — a herding mix and a pointer mix whose constant fighting made the idea of hosting a dinner party both perhaps “bloody” and definitely “scary and miserable.” She says shelters shouldn’t “drive away potentially loving and appropriate adopters because they don’t meet predetermined criteria,” but she also sees the importance of a thorough application process that prepares humans for the pitfalls of pet parenthood. “You need to be ready to have a dog who doesn’t like people very much,” says Pierce. When Bella, the 11-year-old she got from the Humane Society, dies, she’s not sure she will get a replacement, noting that the pandemic puppy boom is “driven by a reflection of human narcissism and neurosis.” “A lot of this is driven by Instagram,” she says. “We have this expectation that dogs are not really dogs; they’re toys or fashion accessories.” I’m not pushing you, but it seems like you want to bring him home,” the Badass Animal Rescue volunteer said with the controlled energy of a used-car salesperson. Bill and Sherrie, a middle-aged couple who had lost their English bulldog three years ago, were looking for a replacement. The dog with a bright-red boner jumped on Bill, and everyone pretended not to notice. “He definitely has energy,” Bill said brightly. The couple were on the fence, and the volunteer could sense the close slipping away. Although this organization saw applications rise 200 percent during the pandemic, things are now recalibrating back to normalcy. We are, it seems, witnessing the cooling of the puppy boom. The unbearable loneliness of the pandemic has abated, replaced with anxiety about how to possibly do all the things all of us used to do every day. New Yorkers are being summoned back to the office or planning vacations. Many young professionals are finding that, when given the option between scrolling through rescue websites until 2 a.m. or doing drunken karaoke in a room full of friends, Dog Tinder is losing its appeal. Local shelters are seeing application numbers slip — many say they have returned to pre-COVID levels — which, in turn, has made it slightly more of an adopter’s market. Bill and Sherrie went to the hallway to talk it over. He was definitely a puller like their old dog, Xena. And he was also a hell of a shedder. The volunteer kept talking about something called a “love match,” but was this really one? “We’re just gonna need a little more time,” Sherrie confessed when they came back inside. No one was making eye contact. As they prepared to leave, the dog jumped up on Bill again, his tongue flopping sideways and his wagging tail spraying white fur. He was clearly not aware that the tenor of the room had shifted. “We might be back,” Bill said with an obvious twinge of guilt. “Don’t worry!” We will probably look back on the class of pandemic dogs adopted in 2020 as the most desirable unwanted dogs of all time — the ultimate market-scarcity score for a slice of virtuous, privileged New York City. People like Danielle will see them paraded around places like McCarren Park, the living, breathing trophies for self-satisfied owners who made it through the gauntlet. At least for the next 11 years or so. |