WWYD? know this is a no-no usually but in this scenario, would you ask the mom if you may bring along your younger child to the party? -
Party is a ninja party at a local gymnastics place. Flat rate for up to 30 kids. There is an evite and if everyone rsvps “yes” there would be 15 kids attending. If all siblings came there would be 20 kids total. Party is in the afternoon and they’re serving cake only, no meal.
This is a preschool classmate of your older child. They’re turning 5 yrs old. You’re friendly with the mom, would you ask if your 3 yr old may join (she’s met him at preschool drop off/pick up)? My instinct is no, I can always drop my older child off at the party (allowed) if childcare is an issue. But I’d love to stay and hang out with the other parents, be with my kids, and my 3 yr old would enjoy it. I’m thinking if they’re not paying per kid then they would be happy to include? Would you even ask or only bring your child who is classmates with the birthday child? Thanks!
View Poll

I know this is a no-no usually but in this scenario, would you ask the mom if you may bring along your younger child to the party? -
Party is a ninja party at a local gymnastics place. Flat rate for up to 30 kids. There is an evite and if everyone rsvps “yes” there would be 17 kids attending. Party is in the afternoon and they’re just serving cake, no meal.
This is a preschool classmate of your older child. They’re 5 yrs old. You’re friendly with the mom, would you ask if your 3 yr old may join (she’s met him at preschool drop off/pick up)? Evite just has your older child’s name. My instinct is no, I can always drop my older child off at the party (allowed) if childcare is an issue. But I’d love to stay and hang out with the other parents, be with my kids, and my 3 yr old would enjoy it. I’m thinking if they’re not paying per kid then they would be happy to include? Would you ask or only bring your child who is classmates with the birthday child? Thanks!

(Swifties, this is your first and final warning. You will not enjoy reading what I've written. Please remind yourselves that you've had since 2006 to crop-dust all creation with your unchecked Taylor-related dickriding. Meanwhile, it's taken me a year and a half to lose enough of my fucks in the crowd to venture the following opinions. Deal with it, or git)
TL;DR: the Taylor Swift social experiment, like all cults of personality, scares the living shit out of me. Relatability should not be an arbiter of artistic merit; everything can be criticized; no-one should have this much money/ in-your-face ubiquity/ power over the media; she needs to stop trying to be a musical one-stop shop and let other artists breathe.
I’m going to use my opening statement to assure the masses that I mean neither Taylor Swift nor her fandom any harm. I don’t know any of you; I only know the brand and the brand ideals, of which a character named Taylor Swift, represented by a person named Taylor Swift, is the central figure. This is a rant, these are my feelings; I merely ask that you extend me the same grace you would your favourite singer-songwriter. And though I can’t promise that all of my points will be made in good faith, because many of them were prompted by genuine psychological triggers, I will do my best to keep the character and the person separate, along with the platforms and the users within the fandom, even if they are guilty of the same misdeeds. No matter how butthurt and snarky I get while organizing these vagrant thoughts - because this exercise is intended to permanently close down my internal TS thoughtschool - all said and done, I just want everyone to be good people and live good lives.
Cool? Cool.
For the sake of full disclosure: her music is fine. I mean…it’s fine. I’ve yet to hear anything that made me want to manually arrest the earth’s orbit, but that comes down to my own personal taste.
And I’ve been obsessed with music for a good goddamn 43 years; I remember trampolining on the furniture to Queen, Prince, and Blondie when I was barely out of diapers, getting my first period at a New Kids on the Block concert (for real), and clawing the shredded fishnets of every early-90s riot grrrl while my 9th grade social capital continued its neverending nosedive. As someone stuck right slap-ass in the Bible Belt - where my love for the INXS song “Devil Inside” was publicly demonized due to the metaphorical conceit - music is the closest I’ve ever come to religious rapture.
But I just can’t seem to acquire a taste for the holy Taylor Swift host.
Once in a while, drifting through her sea of beige melodies and hand me down instrumentals, she will hork up a half-decent turn of phrase (the bridge of “Marjorie” really is a knockout). But I don’t think her specific command of the English language deserves this level of perpetual global veneration. And even when I’m impressed by the way she clicks words together, I don’t feel moved to take them apart and examine them for hidden depths or synesthetic value. To me, her writing is only marginally better than the Star Wars/ Mortal Kombat/ Jem & the Holograms fanfics I used to write while procrastinating between shifts at Starbucks. (Not me ending a letter to Stormer from Kimber with, “I miss you like January misses Christmas.”) To paraphrase the MechaStreisand episode of South Park: “Ya ain’t Fiona Apple. And if ya ain’t Fiona Apple, I don’t give a rat’s ass.”
But it goes beyond me staying stubbornly put as the approximate rest of the world is shaken to the core by her musical LiveJournal. I’m not here to yuck anybody’s yum. If Taylor Swift is to you what Stephen King (an inconsistent but effective storyteller who unknowingly taught me how to express my own macabre thoughts) is to me, that’s fabulous. Everyone deserves to feel that way about something; everyone deserves to experience a piece of art or media that makes them sit more comfortably amongst the serrated edges of the world.
The difference is, when someone tells me that Stephen King sucks all ass, my reaction tends to be, “Fair enough. Let’s talk about the writers you LIKE.” Not, “How absolute DARE?! You must be a Yankees fan if you don’t like Stephen King! I mean, it’s right there in the name! In this thesis I will…”
So let’s break it down, shall we?
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FIG 1. ENSHRINING MEDIOCRITY
Taylor Swift has a way with words. Sometimes. More often than the average American dickhead who gave up on the Cliff’s Notes to Animal Farm. But a good 9 times out of 10, reading her lyrics - especially since Folkmore went to her head - feels less like a peerless, cathartic demonstration of wordplay and more like an Intro to Creative Writing student spraying and praying with one hand on a thesaurus. (“I’m only cryptic and Machiavellian cause I care…” Miss Ma’am. Put the fountain pen on the floor and kick it over to me.)
Sure, everybody loves a good literary reference. “In Liverpool”, where Suzanne Vega alludes to Victor Hugo’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame while pondering unrequited (and possibly gay) love, is my Roman Empire. But Swift doesn’t explore or utilize literary devices. She drops them, like boldfaced names on TMZ. She feels so Gatsby tonight. Her good-for-nothing boyfriend = Peter Pan. Wordsworth was an English Romantic poet who liked to bum around the Lake District, so let’s shoehorn him into “The Lakes” as a ramshackle pun about HER writing prowess (thank fuck she left Beatrix Potter alone). She knows these works exist, but she’s TELLING us she does, rather than SHOWING us.
Her lyricism is inconsistent, her references are anti-dimensional, her instrumentals sound like AI versions of previous artists, her “genre-hops” are formulaic, her singing is meh, and she dances like a preschooler clomping around in mommy’s heels. But at least she plays piano and guitar at a low-intermediate level. This is the only person holding 4 Album of the Year Grammys? Out of every other band and artist living, dead, or undead? Fuck that for a laugh.
(Short break to remind myself that Can’t Slow Down beat Purple Rain, Born in the USA, She’s So Unusual, and Private Dancer in 1985. Same as it ever was, really.)
My intention is not to discredit who she is or “what she’s been through” [dismissive wanking gesture]. I just don’t consider “...you hang from my lips like the gardens of Babylon…” a simile that necessitates a whole-ass branded tunic on Christ the Redeemer. Hell, I wouldn’t even project a salute to the aforementioned Suzanne Vega on a national landmark, and I think her lyricism absolutely BODIES Ms. Swift’s.
To more modern, mainstream effect, there's something so sharp and satisfying about Olivia Rodrigo's music. While not compulsively polysyllabic, her lyrics captivate me with their seething wit and disheveled beauty. Her emotions are dysfunctional without giving you narcissistic whiplash; they create an almost kintsugi effect within the thru-line of the songs, fusing the tragedy, setbacks, and self-deprecation whole with golden veins. I love laughing my ass off to “get him back!’, sprinting through a sunsoaked Appalachian meadow in my head to ‘Can’t Catch Me Now’, and reliving the outset of my romance with my husband to “so American”. Her 90s pop-punk sonic homage is a breath of fresh air, too.
I've yet to hear a Taylor Swift song where she isn't WHINING about something, and I’ve choked down a LOT of her songs just to be informed. Her entire discography reminds me of the final scene from Interview With the Vampire 1994. “Still WHINING, Louis! Have you heard enough? I've had to listen to that for centuries.”
On and on the pity party drones until eventually, no matter how many ornate literary devices she springs on us, Swift outs herself as no deeper than a damp floor. If she learned to economize the bells and whistles and reach beyond her own experience, she might be onto something. There’s a reason Toni Morrison is a legend and VC Andrews is a hack.
This doesn’t mean TS shouldn’t have a successful music career. Or that glitter gel-pen media with a predominantly female audience deserves to be dragged through the cesspool where society once stood. (Ask me how many times I listen to Debbie Gibson’s first two albums inside a calendar year - hint, more than zero.) But I swear to fuck, if I see the word ‘relatable’ used as quality control ONE MORE TIME, I will vomit the entire Nicholas Sparks bibliography. Are we so collectively insecure and empathetically bankrupt nowadays that we can’t engage with an artist unless we want to wear their skin? Does every performer or character need to function as an all-purpose self-insert? Does the winning formula absolutely have to be ‘Literally Me”? This has to be why Black excellence keeps falling by the wayside so the human Barbie doll - complete with interchangeable identities she dons and sheds like fashion plates - can placate her ego with another trophy. Yeah, I’m still sore about SOS and TPAB losing AOTY. (If you don’t recognise those acronyms, ask Google.) The connective tissue between ‘I’d rather have a beer with Donald Trump than Hillary Clinton’ and ‘Taylor Swift is a better mirrorball than Janelle Monae’ is thicker than the volumes of literature TS skimmed while ditching Tom Hiddleston to snoop around Joe Alwyn’s flat.
Don’t get it twisted; I’m all for sisterhood in song, finding parallels of my own experience in a woman’s work. But MUST my inner voice belong to Taylor Swift? Can’t I prefer Tori Amos or TLC or even Olivia Rodrigo? Because I’m not a skinny Aryan poster girl whose rich parents Veruca Salted (the character, not the band) and Tonya Hardinged my way out of every first-world problem and into a stupidly successful career where my only setbacks are breakups and one-sided beefs.
Also, what’s with this theory that lyrics and the ability to write your own are the end-all-be-all of music? Are compositions a joke to you? When you get a moment, listen to my all-time favourite symphony, The Planets by Gustav Holst. Bitchin, huh? Don’t mention it.
Hot take, but as a public figure, Swift has a lot more in common with her archnemesis Kim Kardashian than her idol Lana Del Rey, and I suspect that’s chief among reasons she keeps disturbing the Kimye grave.
(Oh, hey, if you’re that dweeb I’ve seen on YouTube spamming every other comment with your essay on why Taylor Swift is the best singer, songwriter, and multi-instrumentalist due to the units she’s sold and the records she holds…I wish a motherfucker would.)
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FIG 2. WE DON’T NEED NO GENTRIFIED FEMINISM
Okay. I have a complexion like a fresh stick of chalk, resulting from a family tree full of Scottish libertines and southern Appalachian hill trash. Therefore, I don’t want to get too deep in the weeds of a topic that concerns the experiences of marginalized people. So instead of running my mouth on the meaning of ‘white feminism’ and its insidious cause/ effect process, I’ll urge you to seek out books and essays by more qualified people.
“Hood Feminism” by Mikki Kendall is a great place to start. See also “White Tears/ Brown Scars” by Ruby Hamad, and “Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race” by Reni Eddo-Lodge.
One of the most frustrating things about the inescapable Taylor Swift phenomenon is how her brand and her disciples have perverted feminism. It's now a whitewashed, focus-grouped shadow of itself, used only to shield Swift, and Swift alone, from criticism and her own mediocrity.
Swift really is the perfect symbol of white supremacy, whether or not she wishes to be. Her virtues are blown way out of proportion, and her wrongdoings are swept under the rug with a litany of excuses. Coddled and deified by the same entities that condemn and demonize her Black peers for the same shit. I’m reminded of how, in my home country (USA), a white gunman is a product of a broken home or untreated mental illness, while a Black or brown one represents the corruption of a whole community. Concurrently, when a white woman plays by the patriarchy’s rules and wins, or donates pocket change from her net worth to a few non-partisan causes like staff bonuses or soup kitchens, she’s held up as a paragon of righteousness. But when her stan club harasses one of her presumed nemeses to the brink of a nervous breakdown, or when a concertgoer at one of her Latin American shows dies of dehydration (RIP Ana Clara Benevides), everyone runs to console and absolve HER. It wasn't her fault, she had no power, how could she have known?
“Profoundly unsympathetic underdog”, as I read somewhere, is probably the best way to put it. Has she suffered from the slings and arrows of misogyny? Well, duh. She’s a woman at the top of an industry right slap-ass in the middle of a capitalist hellscape that, to this day, is still dominated by men. Men with a lot more dough and behind-the-scenes influence than she could ever dream of. But she doesn’t want to dismantle the system. She wants to bend it to her will and win it - even if that means cheating. Which is all well and good for her, but at the end of the day, she’s another fuckass oligarch. She’s a dragon in woman form like a reject from Earthsea, gorging on numbers to fill the empty howling void in her soul, tossing crumbs and scraps down to the masses.
She’s not a feminist so much as a Swiftist.
Ironically, Swift’s “feminism” revolves around men, because it’s feminism as interpreted by men. Powerful women using the patriarchy against itself, rather than bulldozing it for the good of humanity.
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FIG 3. PROFESSIONAL CHARACTER ASSASSIN
Do I consider Taylor Swift an actual Batman villain of a person? Nah. I'm sure she's perfectly nice if you don't look too closely or set off any tripwires. In general, she’s probably not half the psychological sadist her father is or her disciples can be. She's got a long way to go before catching up to the likes of Donald Trump, Rupert Murdoch, or Andrew Tate. But that's just it - everyone outside the fold recognises the minions of that dark triad as pathetic at best and actively dangerous at worst.
The systemic coddling and infantilization of white women refuses to acknowledge the harm they can cause by gathering a mob with a common assigned enemy. And, having stuffed her cult’s heads full of subliminal tabloid fodder, Taylor has ensured that every time she performs an Invasion of the Bodysnatchers point-and-screech in a rival’s direction, that person’s about to have a bad week. Doesn’t matter if the vitriol is one-sided.
When I consider the full front to back of Taylor’s “lore”, what forms in my mind is the story of a victim, or self-proclaimed victim, who considers a villain arc aspirational. You know, a surly ninth-grader’s idea of justice. Enabled by her fans, who’ve declared Swift’s lyrics gospel, her easter eggs a call to arms against anyone who’s earned so much as a side-eye from her.
And does she call them off? Does she fuck.
Joe Alwyn’s reputation went to hell on an inside track for (checks notes) possibly mismanaging his depression? (Also, everyone involved in the mass unfollowing stunt is tacky and I hate them. That includes you, Ryan Reynolds. You're closer to 50 than 25, with four kids at home, acting like a second string shortstop trying to impress the head cheerleader. Knock it off.)
Katy Perry found herself soaked with pig blood in a public square for either rehiring a couple of dancers after they quit Taylor's tour, or briefly dating John Mayer. Depending on who you ask.
Jake Gyllenhaal was the target of a harassment campaign perpetuated by Swifties, fellow celebrities, and even goddamn CONSUMER BRANDS for, I dunno, acting kinda like a fuckboy eleven years prior? Realizing, perhaps too late, that he and Taylor were incompatible as romantic partners? Either way, I'm more freaked out by the gratuitous shots fired at his sister, girlfriend, godmother, and teenage niece. Let's put a pin in that for now, though.
Antonia Gentry, a biracial actress known for her role in Netflix’s Ginny and Georgia, took a heaping helping of abuse, garnished with a generous dollop of racial slurs. All because Swift got bent out of shape over a throwaway line delivered by Gentry’s character because it painted Swift’s dating habits in a bad light. It must needs be said that Gentry did not write or improvise this line of dialogue, she merely read it. We'll put a pin in that, too.
Scooter Braun can kick rocks in glass socks, but he was right about one thing. Taylor should have faced him down her damn self, instead of siccing her stan club on him…and his family. Put a pin in it.
Kim Kardashian - well, shit. The last thing I ever thought I’d do is defend a Jennerdashian, and my stance on Snakegate has been ESH from jump street. But after all Taylor’s posturing about her nemeses defeating themselves before she can take a swing, she didn’t hesitate to directly name and shame Kim in a recent song. Or use Kim’s daughter as an insult to her lyrical injury. Put a pin in it.
Look, no-one enjoys a failed or toxic relationship. Or waking up with a target on their back. I spent nearly a decade with an authentic psychopath who at one point (I kid you not) accused me of cheating on him WITH A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. So fuck his dreams, but even with the worst of what he did to me in play - and rest assured, it was some Ari Aster shit - I wouldn't want to see him at the bottom of a John Mayer dogpile. Mostly because he has loved ones who shouldn't end up as collateral damage.
Back in 1988, the late Oscar-winning SFX titan Stan Winston (Terminator, Jurassic Park) made his directorial debut with a cult classic supernatural folk-horror called Pumpkinhead. The plot centres around a father named Ed Harley (B-movie legend Lance Henriksen) summoning a demon to avenge his son against a group of “cityfolk”.
Why bring up that old VHS throwback? Well. Revenge films have been a staple since the medium began, but Pumpkinhead is one of the few that shows the dark side of vigilante justice. People love a settled score. But most stories only show the boomerang effect from the offender to the avenger. Pumpkinhead broadens that viewfinder to show the pyrrhic nature of revenge, especially revenge served scalding hot, using familiar genre devices to demonstrate the victim’s torment, the cyclical trap of it all, and - most importantly - the innocent bystanders catching strays. You think you’re wishing on a star, when you’re really wishing on a monkey’s paw.
That’s why I said to put a pin in that list of Taylor’s Undesirables. It’s never just the person who (sometimes debatably) did her dirty. There’s plenty of ‘female rage’ for their associates, too - sometimes with those associates, ex. Antonia Gentry, taking the force of the blow. But unlike poor Ed Harley, Taylor has accumulated too much money and power to face any real consequences.
It’s much easier to contain a narrative in art than it is in real life.
(PS: That sidelong smirk she does gives me the willies. Just me? Possibly. BEC? Totally.)
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FIG 4. FUNDAMENTALIST SWIFTISM (THIS ONE’S PERSONAL)
I was born in southern Appalachia, in one of North Carolina’s most objectively beautiful cities. Unfortunately, I grew up in a rural, redneck town of just over 1,000, where the locals shared two cinema screens and maybe seven surnames.
And though mine was a mostly secular (Methodist) household full of Jimmy Carter Democrats, I couldn’t go a day without someone on the outside telling me that something I loved was a sin. I was the unwilling congregation for cautionary sermons about everything from Stephen King to Dirty Dancing to a fucking side ponytail in my hair (apparently it evoked Madonna, and that was a Bad Thing). Politically, it was standing water trash. My social studies education consisted mostly of Confederate-apologist kitsch and Red Scare Sovietcore. One of my fifth grade teachers spewed anti-choice rhetoric in class, and two years later, another one literally said, ‘Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve’.
For context, like I said: raised by liberals, if not full-tilt leftists. My maternal grandfather was a hometown civil rights activist who ran an integrated workplace and campaigned for JFK. My mother’s friend confided to her (and only her), at the peak of HIV stigma, that her son was dying of AIDS. I remember asking Mom when I was 5 why movies only showed ladies kissing men and not men kissing men or ladies kissing ladies. Her answer: “I don’t know, baby, because it happens all the time in real life.” One of my paternal uncles was a drag performer in his 20s (which would have been between 1966-1976), and once my cycle kicked in, I was lectured THOROUGHLY about birth control and reproductive rights. I was lucky - at home. Outside, it was an ideological wasteland, fire to the left of me, brimstone to the right of me, God, guns, and “guts” waiting to nudge anyone who strayed from the formula back in line. So traumatized for merely wanting to wear fun makeup and clothes, watch A Nightmare on Elm Street, listen to Prince, and walk among neon lights with an urban skyline looming overhead like an enchanted forest, I became rebellious as fuck in my adolescence. I had a witch phase, a zen phase, and a militant agnostic phase. I’d overhear myself saying controversial shit (controversial by local standards) in a neverending campaign to push the born-against as far away from me as possible. Please don’t pray for me, I’d silently plead. Please think I’m a lost cause.
But it’s cool. I moved back to my birthplace in 1999, and clear across the Atlantic in 2016. (Plus the 9 years I spent in New England, but we don’t talk about that.) And I’m seeing a therapist about my psychological dysfunction - PTSD, depression, severe social anxiety, the usual.
Thanks to nearly two decades in this Gilead-coded environment, though, I have a near-phobic aversion to groupthink. I especially despise blind hero worship (due, I suspect, to the evangelical code of honouring God with every choice), and when matters of opinion are presented as fact. It pisses me off when Trumpnecks uproot the goalposts and plant them right in their eye sockets at their messiah's every misstep, and it pissed me off when the BernieBros tried to wreck my shit for backing a different Democrat (no shade to Bernie - he's probably one of the best social navigators America could ask for).
Taylor’s press is sounding less like journalism, even popcorn tabloid “journalism” in inverted commas, and more like nationalist propaganda. She stimulates economies (all sold-out stadium events do)! She’s broken another record (by rigging a broken system)! She eats ranch dressing (bitch, my BFF wrote a SONNET about ranch dressing when we were in junior high - that ain’t special)! She’s single-handedly carrying the music industry on her back (by toying with her fans and weaponizing FOMO)! ALL HAIL! It’s giving Straight Out of North Korea.
But as soon as you dare mention that some of this doesn’t sit right in your soul…chaos. You’re just looking for shit to be mad about because you hate “fun music” and “successful women”. Prison. Solitary confinement. Electric chair.
I have experienced no-shit panic attacks thinking about all the cults of personality that have cropped up over the past decade, okay? Whether Donald Trump, Nigel Farage, Elon Musk, or Taylor Swift…they are all symptoms of a terrifying social disorder. Once we were drowning in information while thirsting for knowledge; now combine that with a riptide of tinfoil milliners and hyperpartisan news outlets. Communities have deteriorated, so we create them online using public figures and their open-ended manifestos, our capacity for independent and nuanced thought shriveling into a MAGA-hat shaped echo chamber screaming into a billionaire-branded, corporate-sponsored void.
Is this what Beatlemania was like? I can’t say for sure; I wasn’t there. But much as I appreciate The Beatles (while acknowledging the shady shit still stinking up certain corners of their empire), I can absolutely sympathize with people who maybe didn’t want the music crammed down their throats and the lore shoved up their asses.
“Let people enjoy things.” Let them be skeptical about things, too, and you’ve got a deal.
What frustrates me isn't that I don't like her, or that others do, but that so many of them won't allow anyone to dislike her in peace.
That's how I ended up here, at this desktop, downloading backlogged grievances to a Google.doc file.
I have no mouth, and I must scream.
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FIG 5. ELEVENTH HOUR TRAILBLAZER (WITH A SIZE 500 CARBON FOOTPRINT)
Let's get serious. Most of our faves are problematic. I love HP Lovecraft's literary universe; he's a racist wad of dick. I love the way Margaret Atwood dissects her characters and serves them up on a silver platter with a parsley garnish; she's a bleach-white feminist and probably a goddamn TERF. I'd probably loathe Frank Zappa if he were alive today, even though I know passages from his autobiography by heart.
You don't have to steamroll your TS merch on Main to accept the fact that as an activist, she has all the conviction of Boy George checking the resale value of a contradiction before the Karma Chameleon gets home.
And that's fine, or it would be, if her aforementioned propaganda team hadn't successfully executed a Jedi mind trick to make the media go, “Taylor Swift - Joan Baez literally wishes.”
Anyone can tweet “Black Lives Matter” a few times, and I'm pretty sure my Boomer mother posted “Why be mad, when you can be GLAAD?” on Facebook circa June 2013. The only appreciable difference between Taylor Swift’s low-effort, low-stakes activism and some rando in Eugene, Oregon tweeting (I refuse to call it X) a picture of their brand new rainbow Stanley cup is the whole world keeps waiting for Tay Tay and her money to talk over the stamping onstage power-walk of her bullshit. And if she's got nothing to say, then by god we'll put the words in her mouth. Because with her unthreatening good looks and Disney princess energy, she makes a perfect false idol for neoliberals and a perfect boogeyman for the unhinged right.
So it goes. Over and over again. Once you win capitalism, you can make people believe whatever you want them to. Championing LGBTQ+ rights in the glossiest, most favourable environment possible makes TS a hero right up there with Captain America, but her manic zigzags across the planet in her private jet(s) are NBD.
Dolly Parton gets away with being politically milquetoast because (I’m inclined to think) she genuinely wants to provide a seat at the table for everyone. Not so the whole world will spend a weekend in Pigeon Forge - though I'm sure that's a strong incentive - but because she was raised with that as a guiding principle. Taylor's only principle seems to be waving her distended bank account under our faces and barking, ‘Fill ‘er up!” Also if you talk shit about her, you're not a girl's girl. Girl's girls push their successors down the stairs while buying and selling the rights to female rage. Because as a wise YouTuber one said, “My problems, my problems, my problems, MY PAIN!”
Sometimes I get the impression that Taylor Swift doesn’t want to BE an activist so much as she wants us to THINK she’s an activist. The public perception of HER matters more than urging that public to help her leave the world a better place than when she found it.
Not everyone is, or wants to be, an activist. Not everyone has that fire in their belly. I can dig it. But activism should not be a cosplay you wear to WokeCon for a single album cycle; it's a bit to which you need to commit.
Especially if you have no problem bringing a ruckus to protect your sanctified public image.
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FIG 6. SHE DRINKS YOUR MILKSHAKE
“Billboard gamer
Qu'est-ce que c'est?
Fu-fu-fu-fuck off, fu-fu-fuck off…”
But for real, some of y'all need to stop approaching music stats like the NBA playoffs. Because I'm telling you straight up and down, if Taylor Swift were on the NY Liberty, she'd be what's known as a ball hog.
“She is the music industry” is not a flex. It's an indictment and manifesto of our own cynical capitalist dystopia. It's the mission statement of an ‘artist’ who can't seem to create without the intent of destruction. It's a slap in the face to musicians who match Swift's work ethic and far exceed her talent, but lack her bloodthirsty cult and cutthroat PR machine. It’s the language of monopoly - doesn’t matter if Swift dominates 90% of the musical market, charts, and records, so long as that wayward 10 is still out there.
Every time Taylor Swift copies another artist’s homework and makes their reality impossible to disentangle from her image, I feel the same sense of weary dread as when Disney buys up another movie studio. Except worse, because a lot of those studios are multinational corporations in their own right, probably direct beneficiaries of Citizens United living off the crops planted by Reaganomics. It’s easy to be facetious and say they had it coming.
But given everything she’s come to symbolize in the public eye, it’s hard to unsee TS as a huge multinational corporation gobbling up rising artists and their chosen niches like a deranged Ms. Pac-Man who keeps doubling back in the maze when she should go forward.
It's almost as if she's trying to create an environment where there's no need to listen to any other artist, because she can do it all. Even be “The Man™”! (Though she mostly targets younger women.) And if you don’t like the current era, where are you going? Pay no attention to that small indie artist - just wait for her to jack their style! Sad Girl Synth/ Witch in the Woodscore/ Bell Jar Chic coming right up!

Plus, when she’s not coal-mining her peers for ‘aesthetics’ to add to her brand once it’s safe to do so, she’s barging in on their album releases with new variants, surprise releases, ANYTHING to prevent our attention from diverting from her for the length of ten or fifteen songs.
And it’s happened too often and with too much synchronicity to be a coincidence. Restoring her catalog to Spotify on the release date of Katy Perry’s Witness. Dropping new variants of Midnights to block SZA from the top spot. And now trying to open the same expired can of whoopass on Billie Eilish, an artist as renowned by her industry peers as Taylor is by the mouth-breathing masses.
Even her “supportive dancing” at awards shows…it’s cute at first, until you realize it’s blatant camera-pan bait to bring attention back to her.
This is not “good business”. It’s a hostile work environment.
Obviously, high-profile artists siphoning trends from more obscure ones has been how the music industry establishes hierarchy and ratfucks the vanguard for decades. You - rightfully - can’t bring up Elvis Presley nowadays without mentioning Big Mama Thornton (and you owe it to yourself to listen to her original version of “Hound Dog”, because whoa, nelly). But Taylor Swift is hiding her chicanery in plain sight, ripping her peers off and shutting them down brazen as anything, and it’s hard not to wonder how much time will transpire before we can call her on it without being branded heretics.
No-one really talks about it, but IMO, one of her most grimdark acts of sabotage was releasing “Cruel Summer”, a five-year old song that wasn’t even a re-record, on the same day Olivia Rodrigo dropped “Vampire”, the debut single for her sophomore album. “Cruel Summer”, in case you haven’t seen a Taylor Swift evidence board lately, is the reason Olivia is now stuck paying a substantial chunk of “deja vu”’s royalties to TS and her cronies. I’m not saying Taylor’s team chose that song on purpose, to intimidate a (former) fangirl literally 13 years her junior, but I put nothing past no-one.
Success is so much more rewarding when it's not a zero-sum game. Call me a musical Marxist, but I want to celebrate a motley crew of talented artists rising in and out of the top 10 like melodic fireworks, not one grifting normie shithead perched indefinitely at the summit, yanking up Jacob’s ladder rung by rung.
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FIG 7. IN THIS ECONOMY?
One album, one deluxe edition. That's a god's plenty, especially vis a vis physical media. If you release more than that, you're an asshole, and if you buy more than that, you're a sucker. I will not be taking questions at this time.
No, it isn't just a Taylor Swift problem - far from it. But she is currently the head of a rabid and venomous kaiju run amok across a mortally wounded planet.
And the merch, my esteemed chaotic neutrals, is just too ass to mention.
While we're at it, eat the rich. Most of them. At least leave the bones of billionaires on the lawns of multimillionaires as a warning.
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And where - apart from the hate campaigns - do her hapless paramours fit in all of this? Beats me. The truth is, I don’t give a single solitary fuck about celebrities in the wild, unless they do something incredibly wholesome (Pedro Pascal celebrating his trans sister) or remarkably stupid (Puff Daddy). And despite all the pictures I’ve seen against my will, I wouldn’t recognize Travis Kelce or Matty Healy if they walked right up to me. First of all, I despise the NFL; I’m a baseball/ basketball/ hockey fan. And The 1975’s music, to me, just sounds like yacht rock if the yacht were caked in cocaine and bodily fluids. I know that Matty Healy once mentioned shucking his corn to a certain racist sex-trafficking website. And whether or not he meant it as a joke, it was gross and WoC have every right to have a bone to pick with him - and with Taylor.
For real, though, I look at her body count and all I see is a succession of nondescript white dudes. The only one who stands out to me is Gyllenhaal, and that’s because I’ve been a fan of him and his sister as actors for 20+ years. So her dating history has never been a point of contention or even interest for me.
The long and the short of it is, I'd have no quarrel with Taylor Swift if she were just taking up space as a successful singer-songwriter processing her emotions through her music. We could peacefully co-exist if LITERALLY EVERYBODY were not expected to not only give a fuck about her, but forsake all others unto her and her sanctified narrative. Sorry, my sister in Christ, but I'm an atheist.
And yes, I'd say every syllable of this with my whole chest and my pussy facing the world if Blandie were A MAN. So don't even get on that tip.
Go forth and have the day you deserve, from the depths of my last nerve.

This is not a plan for my Star Wars REDONE project, but just an idea I had while I was rewatching Attack of the Clones and making some changes to Episode 2 REDONE.
A lot of influences and ideas Lucas had for Attack of the Clones were sound: a blooming love story within the political backdrop at the center of the civil war, Palpatine using the war to gain power, Anakin's disillusionment with the ways of the Jedi, a hidden web of conspiracies setting for the war, and Dooku as this Jedi renegade who has defected to the Separatists. It has a lot of cool ideas, which is why frustrating the film fumbles at materializing them.
Aside from the romance between Anakin and Padme, the major failing of Attack of the Clones is that Lucas fails to show the turmoil of people of the galaxy, which would create a condition for Palpatine to rise. It is part of the reason why the politics in this movie is so boring because it doesn't dramatize the politics. Game of Thrones showed the general audience can get into a political epic.
So I decided to make a new outline, one that is faithful to Lucas' vision, ideas, and influences, while fleshing them out to make a more coherent story, also taking some cues from The Empire Strikes Back.
I also borrowed from and built upon the AOTC fixes I have done in the past:
https://old.reddit.com/fixingmovies/comments/qoftgq/in_attack_of_the_clones_padm%C3%A9_should_have_been/
https://old.reddit.com/fixingmovies/comments/z5m5wf/in_the_dooku_duel_in_attack_of_the_clones_obiwan/
Crawl:
The galaxy is falling asunder. Thousands of solar systems have declared their intentions to leave the Galactic Republic to create the CONFEDERACY OF INDEPENDENT SYSTEMS.
As war seems imminent, this Separatist movement, supported by various conglomerates like the TRADE FEDERATION, is mass-producing Droid Armies to strike at the crumbling Republic.
Senator Amidala, the former Queen of Naboo, is arriving at Alderaan to discuss the critical issue of granting Chancellor Palpatine emergency powers to assist the overwhelmed Jedi....
Alderaan:
The story begins in the galaxy standing on the brink of a massive war that is yet to be called the "Clone Wars". We see Padme Amidala, now a Senator, arriving with her aide Cordé at the beautiful planet of Alderaan. After the Battle of Naboo, Padme Amidala became sort of a star--a prominent voice against separatistism--but she is adamant against the Emergency Powers Act. This act is an amendment to the Galactic Constitution, which will grant Palpatine limitless powers, including bypassing the Senate to create a standing army to fight the Separatists.
She believes not only this would destroy the very foundation of our great Republic, but a war would immediately follow. As someone who experienced the misery of war first-hand, she does not wish to do it again and believes a peaceful solution with the Separatists is still possible. She meets Senator Bail Organa, the representative of Alderaan. Alderaan is a major progressive voting block, and Padme is here to unify the opposition against the constitutional amendment before the Senate votes on it. She has enough clouts and popularity to stop the amendment. Bail agrees with her that the emergency powers could be authoritarian, but he believes in the necessity of a centralized standing army in the face of the Separatist threat.
As they discuss this matter, with Padme saying, "The day we stop believing democracy can work is the day we lose it", the meeting is adjourned abruptly when a city-wide alert is raised. They look outside to witness the Separatist battle fleet filling the sky, blinding the sunlight, and beginning a massive invasion of Alderaan. We switch to Count Dooku on the Separatist battleship (at this point, we don't see his face and learn his name), who reports to the hologram of his Master Darth Sidious that he has caught Senator Padme Amidala in the basket. He also said he had ordered the Separatist forces to launch an all-out offensive against the Republic systems. Sidious smiles, "Good, good..."
Unknown Planet somewhere in the Outer Rim Territories:
Meanwhile, on the other side of the galaxy, the Republic-aligned local planetary military under the command of the local government is retreating from an abrupt Separatist offensive. The Republic is seemingly losing the war that has just begun, and we see the ineffectiveness of the planetary forces in the face of the relentless droid forces. Here, we see Anakin and Obi-Wan's fleet commanding the evacuation of the planetary forces.
Some of the remaining Republic forces are pinned down on the surface and on the verge of annihilation, but Obi-Wan orders an immediate withdrawal, making a decision to sacrifice the few for the many. In an act of courage, Anakin disobeys Obi-Wan's orders to fly down alone to the atmosphere and help them make a safe evacuation. Anakin escorts them back to the retreating fleet, saving them. Obi-Wan scolds Anakin. With this, we understand Anakin's character--reckless but selflessly cares for his friends--and see his relationship with his Master Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan is struggling as a Master to Anakin Skywalker. This is because Obi-Wan didn't take Anakin because he has a connection with him. He was entrusted out of obligation and duty for his dead Master Qui-Gon Jinn (whose name does not even get mentioned in the movie). So obviously, it is no wonder their relationship seems broken. Anakin feels attachments and all the emotions the Jedi Code forbids. He thinks Obi-Wan is too strict and cold--only one-minded about missions and duties.
Coruscant:
In the Republic ship, Anakin has a nightmare about her mother Shmi Skywalker. She's still trapped on Tatooine as a slave, and he wonders what happened to her. Anakin and Obi-Wan return to Coruscant, which is currently in a state of panic after listening to the news of the Republic retreat. Anakin and Obi-Wan's fleet is not the only ones that have retreated. There are other battle-scared starfleets and burned-out hulks that line the docks of Coruscant. These Republic forces are not "centralized", in the sense that each planetary military is locally managed by their local government and loosely coordinated under the large umbrella of the Republic (think of NATO). Chancellor Palpatine and Jedi Council members have come to greet Anakin and Obi-Wan in the landing area. They are aghast at the wounded soldiers pouring out from the ships. Anakin and Obi-Wan report the current situation to them.
Master Dooku, one of the prominent members of the Council (so it can be an actual twist when Dooku is later revealed to be a bad guy), also arrives at Coruscant alongside the half-destroyed Alderaanian fleets after fighting the battle over Alderaan. He is on good terms with Obi-Wan and Anakin since he was Qui-Gon Jinn's Master. Chancellor Palpatine is here, too, congratulating Anakin for his heroic effort. Palpatine suggests giving Anakin a reward. Anakin asks for a brief leave to return to Tatooine to see his mother. He wants to visit her for one last time before getting sent to the war. Much to Anakin's dismay, the Council rejects this on the grounds that the Jedi should let go of their past and attachments. The Jedi, especially Padawans, are strictly under the discipline with no autonomy. They cannot go anywhere they want. Instead, Dooku orders Obi-Wan and Anakin to go to Alderaan, which is currently invaded by the Separatists. The Alderaanians are currently unable to reach Padme. Their mission is to find her and bring her back safely.
Regards to the hotly controversial emergency powers, the Jedi Council, like the public, is divided on this issue. Obi-Wan and Dooku are supportive of the amendment. Both blame the incompetency of the Senate and the politicians in handling the crisis, "Don't forget she's a politician. They're not to be trusted", "It's been my experience that Senators are only focused on pleasing those who fund their campaigns... and they are more than willing to forget the niceties of democracy to get those funds". This is why they are shown to be very much supportive of Palpatine's controversial policies that can be perceived as authoritarian. In contrast, Anakin is apolitical--he never cared about politics.
Alderaan:
Anakin and Obi-Wan depart to a ravaged Alderaan. The battle is ongoing, and the Alderaanian forces seem to be unable to beat back the Droid Army. Here, the Jedi meet Senator Bail Organa for the first time, who is overseeing the Alderaanian forces. The battle resembles the Civil War battle from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, in which both sides are dug in the trenches and unable to penetrate each other's defense line. Bail informs the Jedi that Padme's emergency powers talk was held in Aldera in ruins, currently occupied by the Separatists, and she would be stuck there--under their captive or hidden out of the enemy sight. The Separatists are entrenched in Aldera--a city protected by a massive energy shield. Bail informs the Jedi that they are on schedule and under their continued bombardment of the city, the enemy shields would be overwhelmed in a further month. Both Jedi are stunned, but they have no choice.
In the enemy stronghold in Aldera, we quickly learn why Dooku gave the assignment to find Padme to Anakin and Obi-Wan. It's because the Separatists are unable to find Padme, who seemingly has disappeared. If she had been rescued by the Republic, she would be on the news, which means she is still somewhere in Aldera. Dooku reports to the hologram of his Master that he cannot find Padme. Dooku is then Force-choked by his Master. Dooku pleads to his Master, promising him that he will get her.
Meanwhile, the Alderaanian troops watch the HoloNet broadcast of the current Senate session. As a major progressive voting block, Alderaanians and Senator Bail Organa used to be against granting emergency powers to the Chancellor, but this invasion has changed their mind. Palpatine has firmly established himself as a wartime Chancellor. Through the hologram, Bail Organa gives a speech in favor of the amendment and votes for it, which sways the rest of the Senate to his side. The amendment has passed. Palpatine says, "I love democracy. I love the Republic. Once this crisis has abated, I will lay down the powers you have given me!"
Meanwhile, a week has passed, and the trench warfare is ongoing. In Aldera, Corde--Padme's body double--is helping Padme hide in the underground subway tunnel. Corde leaves to get her more food and water but is then caught by the droids. The droids present her to Dooku. Corde is shocked to find that Jedi Master Dooku is the leader of the Separatist movement Dooku raises his hands and unleashes the Force lightning to torture her to open her mouth to locate Padme.
The newly created "Grand Army of the Republic" has arrived at Alderaan, wearing shining white armor. They are welcomed enthusiastically by the Alderaanian forces. Obi-Wan is surprised that the standing army has already been dispatched to warfare, so he tries to talk with them, but they seem... "different".
Anakin arrives, bearing "lunch", a cloth full of live insects and worms, which he casually reports he got from inside the CIS base after discovering an underground entrance into the city, running through the sewers beneath the protective shield. Obi-Wan scolds Anakin for being reckless. While the new Republic army installs the even more powerful cannons to bombard of the shield above ground, Anakin guides Obi-Wan the way through the sewers and into the underground levels of the city. Obi-Wan suspects Padme is dead at this point, but Anakin can sense her, due to the strong bond they formed during The Phantom Menace--he can feel she is holding his japor snippet tight. From there, they make their way to the shield generator chamber. Anakin wants to fight the droids, but Obi-Wan stops him. Obi-Wan simply blows up the shield generator by using small spherical bombs and pointing out that there are alternatives to fighting. With the shield down, the white-armored Republic troopers begin a full-scale attack on the city.
As Corde finally confesses to Dooku where Padme is hiding, the droids rush in to inform Dooku that the shield is deactivated. Dooku orders the droids to go after Padme while hurrying to flee.
The battle of Aldera is chaotic. The Republic troopers are aggressive and far more competent than the local planetary forces, dispatching the battle droids. Anakin rushes into the Separatist-ran POW camp alone to search for Padme. Instead, he finds a dying Cordé. She apologizes to Anakin, disheartened in thinking she had failed her duty to her mistress. She tells Padme is hiding in the underground subway tunnel of Aldera, and in her last grasp, tells him that Dooku is behind the Separatists. Anakin initially does not believe her, but there is no time to go and tell Obi-Wan about this. Anakin races to the underground tunnel. While Obi-Wan is looking for Anakin, he stumbles on the two corpses of the Republic troopers, whose helmets are cracked. He takes a closer look and discovers that these troopers have identical faces.
Anakin finds Padme, who has been hiding all these years. At first, she doesn't recognize him, for he has grown so much. Anakin is glad that she kept her word about keeping his japor snippet. However, the battle droids are rushing into the tunnel, and they both flee. Obi-Wan comes to rescue them. When Anakin is about to inform him of the last words of Padme's body double, "Master" Dooku is standing alongside Obi-Wan, listening to Anakin. Dooku asks him to hand Padme over to him. Anakin refuses, saying that he will be the one taking her to Coruscant. Obi-Wan allows him, for Anakin has been missing Padme for a long time. Anakin and Padme board his ship and leave Alderaan in haste.
Obi-Wan turns to Dooku to inform him that all Republic troopers are clones. Dooku pretends to be surprised. Bail suggests looking into Kamino--the civilization highly proficient in cloning technology.
Coruscant:
This is where Anakin and Obi-Wan's storylines diverge in two. Obi-Wan and Dooku arrive at Coruscant and visit the Archives. Kamino doesn't show up in any data. Dooku says, "If an item does not appear in our records, it does not exist!" Dooku heads off, and Obi-Wan is not satisfied.
Obi-Wan visits Yoda currently training Younglings. The scene goes the same as the film's, except at the end, Master Dooku barges into the room and says Anakin has still yet to be returned to Coruscant with Padme. Yoda predicts Anakin must have gone to Tatooine. Obi-Wan is frustrated with his apprentice, complaining that Anakin is too reckless and refuses to obey his command.
Obi-Wan: "I realize now what you and Master Yoda knew from the beginning... the boy was too old to start the training and..."
Yoda: "Obi-Wan, have faith that take the right path he will."
Yoda surprisingly asks Obi-Wan to trust his apprentice rather than control him. This makes Obi-Wan rethink his relationship. In order to bridge the relationship between Anakin and Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan's arc is that he must see Anakin as a man and respect him. Obi-Wan forms a connection with him by understanding Anakin's point of view ("What I told you was true, from a certain point of view."). Obi-Wan realizes maybe the Jedi Code is too rigid, and a sense of duties and obligation alone can't make one a great Jedi. This character arc lends well to The Clone Wars TV series and Revenge of the Sith, in which Obi-Wan evolved into a more quippy, light-hearted character who has a drastically different personality from TPM and AOTC. Both Anakin and Obi-Wan would become more understanding of each other, and as a result, their clash at Mustafar becomes more heartwrenching.
Anyway, Yoda orders Obi-Wan to go to Kamino to investigate the Clone Army. Dooku, learning where Padme has gone, smiles. He contacts and sends his army of bounty hunters to Tatooine. Jango Fett is not the only bounty hunter Dooku hired. Dooku orders them to use Anakin's mother Shmi Skywalker as bait.
Kamino:
From here, Obi-Wan's plotline is pretty much identical to the film's. He investigates Kamino, learns it was the Jedi Master who ordered the creation of the clone army for the Republic to prepare for the war, figures out that the bounty hunter Jango Fett is the genetic template for the clones, then Obi-Wan fights and chases him to Geonosis.
Geonosis:
There, Obi-Wan discovers Dooku in the middle of the conversation with the Separatist leaders. He realizes Dooku is the true mastermind of the Separatist Confederacy, and the new Separatist army is amassing to attack the Republic systems.
Tatooine:
For Anakin's co-occurring storyline, it is also largely similar. Anakin and Padme discuss politics and democracy, and Padme's ideals. Anakin sees politics as a simple matter, "That sounds an awful lot like a dictatorship to me", "Well, if it works...", as well as discussing Anakin's frustration with the Jedi Code. Anakin hates the Separatists because the slaver guilds have allied themselves to the Confederacy. Anakin keeps having a nightmare of her mother, and now she is dying in his dream.
Later, Padme awakes to find out that the ship has landed on Tatooine, not Coruscant. She is upset and argues with Anakin. He lied to her. He finally reveals what he learned about Dooku and says Tatooine is the safest location. Anakin believes the Jedi Council is compromised and can't trust it anymore, though Padme knows that is not the only reason. It is partially for Anakin to meet his mother again. His former owner Watto reveals that he sold Shmi to a moisture farmer named Cliegg Lars, who then freed and married her. They then get the Lars family, who tell Anakin that the Tusken raiders have abducted Shmi just recently. Padme allows him to leave her and track down the Tuskens, for she will be safe under the guard of the Lars family.
Anakin locates the campsite where one of Dooku's bounty hunters, having paid the Tuskens to kidnap Shmi, is torturing her in a tent. When the bounty hunter leaves, Anakin frees Shmi, who dies in his arms. The bounty hunter returns to the tent and is quickly apprehended by an enraged Anakin. Anakin "forces" him to make him confess who hired him. The bounty hunter says it is Dooku, and Anakin kills him after confirming his suspicion. Hearing the noise, the Tusken raiders surround the tent. Anakin massacres the entire tribe. Now, Anakin has personal stakes in defeating Dooku, and facing him is crucial in Anakin's arc in the story, unlike how he had no idea who Dooku even was in the film.
Anakin returns to the Lars homestead and finds out that the Lars family is held hostage by Dooku's bounty hunters. Anakin fights the bounty hunters to free Owen and Beau, but Cliegg is murdered. Despite Anakin's best efforts, the bounty hunters escape Tatooine with Padme to Geonosis. Anakin feels guilty about forsaking his duty and leaving her to the homestead.
Anakin races back to his ship, on which Anakin receives the message from Obi-Wan warning the Republic and the Council about Dooku and the imminent Separatist attack on the Republic. Anakin contacts the Council about what happened to Padme. Mace Windu orders Anakin to return to Coruscant. Don't do anything out of impulse. The Council will take care of it. Trust in the Council's judgment. Here, Anakin is facing two paths. Be a good, little, nice Jedi, and follow the Council's order, or chase after Dooku to save Padme and Obi-Wan. This is the point at which Anakin tests his resolve. Anakin makes a decision to go against the Jedi code (Attachment is forbidden) and get to Geonosis alone.
Geonosis:
Obi-Wan is held captive while Dooku comes along. Instead of Dooku revealing there is a Dark Lord of the Sith controlling the Republic (there is no reason for Dooku to spill the beans here), the confrontation with Dooku forces Obi-Wan to grow out of Qui-Gon Jinn's death. He should face the fact that his Master's Master has turned to the dark side because of the strict Jedi Code and the Republic's corruption. After all, Obi-Wan investigated the clone army, which was apparently commissioned by a member of the Jedi Council. And then the Republic will use the clone army--this immoral slave force--in the war. Then Dooku persuades Obi-Wan to join him. They both agree that they are dissatisfied with the ways the Republic and the Jedi Order handle things, so maybe Obi-Wan can see Dooku's point of view. Dooku should be a personification of what Anakin COULD become, concerning Obi-Wan that Anakin can succumb to the same fate as Dooku. This motivates Obi-Wan to gain some understanding with his apprentice Anakin.
From this point, the story is nearly identical to the movie. Anakin fights the Geonosians in the factory but also gets captured. Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Padme are pushed to the execution arena (don't have Anakin and Padme kiss here) and fight the beasts. The Jedi Knights arrive to rescue.
Here's the crucial difference. Instead of Padmé safely boarding the gunships and escaping the arena battle with the Jedi and the clones, she gets captured by Dooku during the arena fight. Dooku holds Padmé as a hostage and announces it to the Jedi, stopping the arena battle. Dooku says he will kill her if the Jedi continue resisting. Anakin insists they should surrender, however, all the Jedi glance at each other and arrive at the same conclusion: they will fight. This fuels Anakin's resentment toward the Jedi.
At the last moment, the clones arrive, blasting and destroying the battle droids. Dooku takes Padmé and flees. He has another idea of what to do with her. The clones and the Jedi escape, and the Battle of Geonosis begins. Now, there are personal character-related stakes for Anakin. Anakin is adamant about chasing Dooku from the start of the battle. The battle is now an obstacle for Anakin to catch up with Dooku, blocking the gunship's path. Instead of the conflict between Anakin and Obi-Wan on the gunship being "stop the gunship to rescue Padmé fell on the desert", which ends up pointless in the story, now, the conflict is that Obi-Wan believes this is a trap to lure Anakin. Obi-Wan shouts at Anakin not to follow Dooku. But angered by the other Jedi's lack of care for Padmé during the arena fight, Anakin ignores his warning and heads to rescue Padmé alone.
Catching up to Dooku in the hangar, Anakin finds that Dooku is holding Padme captive. Dooku taunts Anakin by holding Padme in the air with the Force choke, which echoes what Anakin does to Padmé in Revenge of the Sith. Now, Anakin's rashed charge at Dooku makes more sense because there is a clearer trigger for Anakin to act this way. Dooku hurls Padmé away, and the lightsaber fight commences. During the duel, Dooku reveals that he is the one who ordered to torture of his mother. Anakin gets all the more angry and impulsive, and predictably, gets his hand chopped off.
Instead of Yoda arriving late to save Anakin, it should have been Obi-Wan arriving late. In the movie, you get a supposedly "Master versus Apprentice" dialogue between the two, and you don't feel anything because you don't even know Dooku was Yoda's apprentice beforehand. Yoda vs Dooku was not built up, but Obi-Wan vs Dooku was built up. This is a student of the student going against the old Master, and these two characters having the dialogue makes more sense.
The fighting between Obi-Wan and Dooku is fierce but cut short when Dooku brings down a pillar over Anakin, forcing Obi-Wan to break off his attack to save him. Dooku then moves to his escape ship, forcing Obi-Wan to make a choice: a mission--that is stopping Dooku and ending the entire Clone Wars--or Anakin's life. Sacrificing a few to save the many. Although Obi-Wan should pick the first option as a Jedi Knight of the Republic, he eventually chooses Anakin's life. Dooku escapes.
Coruscant:
After the battle, Dooku arrives at Coruscant to meet Sidious as in the film, but Dooku reports one more thing to Sidious. He says that Anakin has fallen to the dark side for the girl.
Coruscant is currently holding a massive military parade through the city, resembling Roman Triumph, to celebrate the victory over Geonosis, while Palpatine is publically revealing the existence of the clone army. The citizens love Palpatine and see the hope that the Republic might win the war. The Jedi will also join the parade, with each Knight leading a battalion of clone troopers.
Preparing to be part of the parade, Anakin and Obi-Wan, for the first time in the story, have a heart-to-heart conversation, not a rigid Master-Student lecture. Anakin realizes he has been too reckless. His brash act of confronting Dooku alone costs him his arm and he apologizes to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan then gives some respect to Anakin, for he has successfully protected Padme. In a way, Obi-Wan and Anakin go through the opposite character arcs. Obi-Wan changes from someone who supports Palpatine and, as he discovers the hidden conspiracies, to someone who is now against him and his emergency powers. Anakin, after witnessing what Dooku has done to his mother, is now looking for blood and vengeance against the Separatists--staunchly supporting more authoritarian measures to fight the war. This change goes alongside Anakin's embrace of more radical emotions.
Before Anakin and Obi-Wan depart to join the parade, Obi-Wan senses love between Anakin and Padme. Secretly, Padme kisses Anakin for the first time (No marriage as it comes across as too abrupt at this point).
As the Jedi march alongside the clone troopers, Obi-Wan secretly discusses with his Masters in the line his finding that it was likely Dooku who ordered the creation of the clone army for the Republic. Yoda and Mace Windu warn them to not reveal this secret to anyone else. They discuss if Dooku is the mysterious Sith Lord (Maul's Master) they were looking for... or maybe Dooku is the new apprentice of this mysterious Sith Lord. If there is another Sith Lord, he could be residing within the Republic's power structure. They found themselves fighting another war inside the Republic.
Palpatine oversees the parade from the top, while the citizens of the Republic cheer. Anakin gladly pledges his loyalty to the most powerful Chancellor in history, while Padme watches the parade with visible frustration as her efforts to stop Palpatine's emergency powers have utterly failed.
I tried to keep the general story elements the same. I focused on fixing what was already in the story rather than discarding it. I fleshed out the characters to be more active and get to have more choices in the decisions. The politics are more integrated into the character drama rather than being in the background. The character arcs for Anakin and Obi-Wan are clearer, with the climax concluding each arc. Instead of Anakin and Padme hiding on Naboo and just playing the patty cake for half of the film, the story is more aggressive and focuses on the war itself. Dooku's concept is utilized to the fullest as he manipulates the Jedi from within and firmly establishes him as Anakin's arch-villain. Padmé falling in love with Anakin makes more sense because she sees how far Anakin is willing to go to save her, especially in the climax. Anakin earns her love, not handed out to him. The romance is constantly developing to the end.
The qualm with the outline is how Anakin finds Padme in Aldera. Dooku sends Anakin and Obi-Wan to Alderaan so that they can find her for Dooku, only for Dooku to go to Alderaan himself and torture Padme's body double to learn about where Padme is. Dooku sending the Jedi then becomes pointless anyway. Another problem is that Padme only meets Anakin at the midpoint, so she doesn't interact with Anakin all that much, and the relationship doesn't get enough time and development.
Aside from those issues, I found the final outline to be more satisfying and tighter in my Episode 2 REDONE. Maybe sometime later someone would do a full rewrite treatment based on this outline lol.

My recently diagnosed lvl 1 son is about to turn 4 and is having his first birthday party with classmates this weekend. I’ve been trying to prep him with pictures of the location, details of the party itinerary, and every possible challenging situation that may occur so that his brain is prepared in advance to handle with a simple solution (for example - What if your cake falls on the ground? We can get a new piece - no big deal!:)) We have been optimistic about this party until this week as he has shown huge leaps in development from 3.5 to 4 (no longer spending the majority of his time in fight or flight and engaging far more). However this week he has been so dysregulated!! Kicking me with just his orthotics on tonight, spitting everywhere, melting down seemingly out of nowhere with intense aggression. I messaged his preschool teacher to ask if there had been any routine changes or stressful events at school, and she couldn’t think of any and stated she also noticed him having a hard time this week. Could it be that I’m stressing him out talking about the party so much? Any tips for how to prepare him but not send him into fight or flight in advance? Or how to keep him most regulated during the party? A month ago I was excited to send invites feeling he was ready for this, and now I’m so nervous he will be overwhelmed at a party with 8 neurotypical kids and their families.

Thank you to Space paladin for the canvas and u/Acceptable_Egg5560 for proofreading and critique
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Memory transcript: Maarchal , MESEA Astronomers. Date: [Standard Farsul calendar ] september 8th, 3675
The light from the window had roused me from sleep. The early morning sun painted the clouds in a red to pink light. The cold air outside made its way into our room, I'd of been cold if it wasn't for what, our rather who I was sleeping with under my covers. Ponthyt had his arms wrapped around me, his left arm was over the top of my torso and his paw on my stomach and his right arm under my head, giving me a pillow. His legs were wrapped around mine and I had my head nuzzled under his.
I liked this, I was so comfy and I greatly enjoyed his warmth. I closed my eyes and tried to get back to sleep, to enjoy this bliss a little longer.
I heard a scuttle at the foot of our bed accompanied by a chorus of hushed giggles. I tried to pretend I hadn't heard that. As the scuttles came closer and around my side of the bed I barely opened one eye, just enough to see two sets of eyes and ears peeking over the edge and staring directly at me, one much bigger than the other.
“I told you they were still asleep, c’mon lets get some creams!!!”
They then slowly lowered down and as quietly as they could manage, they scuttled out of our room and downstairs towards the kitchen. I sat up and shook Ponthyt awake.
“Hmm?” He moans in a questioning manner as his eyes barely parted to look at me.
“The trouble makers are up early and raiding the kitchen, go stop their mischief.” I say as I lay back down.
He stretches out his limbs and yawns. “And why can't you?” He says deep in fatigue.
I chuckle and pat him on the shoulder. “Cause it's YOUR appetite they inherited, you'll have to force them and the jars apart!”
He looks at me with half open eyes. “Damn, well I guess I better go get 'em. I’ll start breakfast while I'm at it. Anything you want today?”
I pull up the covers and snuggle in the residual heat. “Hmm, how about mashed fleat cakes?”
He nodes and licks me goodbye. He then exits our room and I hear a commotion downstairs. Muffled giggle screams emanate from the kitchen. I close my eyes and absorb the last of Ponthyts warmth before I force myself up and downstairs.
I turn towards the kitchen and I see two grumpy faces sitting at the table with fatty creams strewn about their faces. Ponthyt is on his hands and knees wiping up the spilled cream off the ground. He was splattered in it and looked amused with the pup's antics. I chuckled at the chaotic display. “Don’t worry, I'll start breakfast while you tend to… that.” I turn towards the cupboards and bring out a bottle of fat and some fleat fruit. I pour some fat into a pan and turn on the heat. While I wait for it to heat up I skin and mash fleat fruit in a bowl. Before adding some eggs and milk to make it more liquidy.
“Mom, why can't we have cream for breakfast?” asked Quarmur.
“Because it's not healthy, I want you to grow up big and strong. You need to eat more than fatty creams to do that.” I pour the fleat batter into the pan and it sizzles as it covers the surface.
“Why?” I turn around and walk towards the table.
“Because you're made of more than fat.” I poked her belly as I said that and she giggled. I then turned back towards the stove and wedged a spatula under the fleat batter and flipped it over.
“Hey Ponthyt, when your done with that can you get some grubs from the pit outside?” As Ponthyt wipes the last of the cream off the ground he looks up at me.
“Yeah, I’ll toss this in the washing machine first.” He says as he gets up and makes his way out of the kitchen.
I then pick up the Fleat cake out of the pan and divide it into fourths and make two glasses of greenberry juice and place the pieces on plates. Ponthyt comes back in with a couple grubs that I place on the plates with a hearty helping of greenberries. I take over the pups plates and glasses as Ponthyt takes over ours.
I barley placed the food down before the pups made quick work of the food. By the time me and Ponthyt begin eating the pups are finished and running around the house. Ponthyt was eating rather slowly, I finished before him and I looked jealousy at his food before he pushed it towards me. I ate ravenously with the pups not seeing me.
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**\*
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We rounded a corner towards the school. “Alright, get your bags, let's get a move on,” I said as I exited the auto. I opened the back door to let the pups out. Quarmur stops and looks up at me with an annoyed look.
“Mom, why were we in timeout for eating creams?” I kneel down and wipe crumbs off her fur and throw some crayons that fell out back in the auto before I look her in the eyes.
“Because you were being naughty, and naughty things get you a time out.”
“But why?”
“Because if we just did what we wanted most people would be sad.”
She took on a confused look “Why?”
I grabbed my muzzle and contemplated how to explain it to her. “Well, me and dad are saving those creams for your birthday next week. We're going to make all kinds of treats for you, but even if none of it was for you it would have been for someone. If you just ate all the creams you'd get sick and someone else wouldn't get any.”
She looked down at the ground. “Like when a boy took my crayons?” I nodded
“Yes, naughty things make people sad.”
“What about spankings?” I sighed.
“That's only for really naughty things. Like if that boy that took your crayons smashed them.”
“I’ve never been spanked, am I a good pup?”
I rubbed her head and flopped around her ears , causing her to giggle. “Your a great pup, you just get in harmless trouble like anyone your age should.”
“But I thought you said I was naughty?"
“You did something naughty, you're still a good pup. Just promise me you’ll learn from being naughty ok?” She smiled and nodded, her tail wagging fast. I licked her on the muzzle before standing up and grabbing her paw, leading her towards the school.
Ponthyt was lifting up Kurvuss up onto his shoulders before he sat him on top and began making machine-like noises, walking up to the preschool door and shaking his shoulders rapidly. Kurvuss seemed to control which way he was walking by pulling on his dads ears.
“Ruburburburburburburburburburbur” Kurvuss was giggling , interpreted by the vibrations, making a sound similar to when the pups howl into a running fan.
Quarmur, tugs on my arm and looks up at me. “Mom can you do that with me?” She was pointing at her father and younger brother.
“I’m sorry, no I think that would be too much for me.” She looked upset.
“Why? It wasn't last year, is it because you're fatter?” I chuckled at the indigent bluntness of the child.
“Well, you got a bit bigger, and yes. I am a little bit bigger but I’m not fat. You're getting another sibling.
She looked up suddenly with a confused look. “But I want a ride, not another brother.”
I lowered myself down to look at her directly. “Well, you might be getting a sister, and you’ll be able to give them rides.”
“Like that?”
I nodded and she began beaming and hugged me. Before running to the doors. Ponthyt passed her as she ran. He rounded behind me and put his arm on my shoulder. “What was that about?”
“Oh I just told her the good news.”
He snapped back to look at me. “I thought we were going to wait till her party to announce it?”
I waved my paw in the air dismissively, “ah let her have it. She's way more excited about giving more rides then some silly surprise.”
I nuzzled up against Ponthyt as we watched the pups get into their respective cliques. Getting ready for their day of learning and playing with their friends.
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**\*
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“And done!!!” I put the brush back on the shelf after rinsing it in water. I took a step back to admire my work. The painting would need to dry but me and Ponthyt were finally done.
I admired our artistic rendition of the planet Curbosa and its many massive moons. The writhing mass of dark and light blue that made up the planet was an ever changing mosaic of shapes of the monochrome color palette. Its surrounding moons were variations of gray or white. Except for a dark brown orb that we believed to be the biggest moon in the solar system. Big enough to keep its own thick atmosphere.
Ponthyt came up beside me and wiped his brow. “Wow, I think this is the best one we’ve made.”
I rested my head against his side and sighed.
“You seem offly proud as well, considering how intensely you are staring at it.”
I chuckled and taped him on the arm. “Yeah I'm proud of this. Not only have we made a beautiful rendition of Curbosa, but we also made it accurate to how they would look relative to each other. So many years have I studied how they moved. Now we can predict where they will be weeks in advance… I just wish we knew why they moved like that or what exactly caused gravity.”
He rubbed my side “We’ll figure it out, we just need to hammer out our theory to fit all the puzzle pieces together.”
I breathed deeply. Saying what we had to do was easy, but actually applying math and data to make sense of our world was anything but trivial.
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KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
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Before we had time to properly respond the door was opened. A stout elderly Farsul came through the gateway. He had graying fur all along his body and was draped in a dark green uniforme made from what appeared to be a thick and heavy material. He looked down at the floor, taking note of the paint staining the carpet before he followed the walls staring up at the paintings of the celestial body's me and Ponthyt made.
“... I didn't realize I walked into an art studio, rather than an observatory.” He spoke with a low, heavy voice. There was a tinge of some accent I couldn't place. His steps were slow and deliberate, and his paws were held behind his back as he glanced at us.
“What are you doing here? Tours are only on select days and scheduled weeks in advance!” Ponthyt spoke with an indigent, confused tone that I frankly shared at this rude man. Before I noticed his firearm and rows and rows of medals on his shirt.
“Ponthyt… I think he’s military.” I pointed to his metals and Ponthyt took note of them, and took on a look of mild fear and even greater confusion. The military man chuckled in his throat.
“You two don't keep a finger to the pulse of your nation's news much? Well, I’m Admiral Gurq. I’ve come here to enlist you two for a… personal project of mine.”
He walked out of our studio and came back shortly with a briefcase and set it down on an empty table. “I heard about your project using pulses of light to detect where and how an object is moving. I believe a national security threat has made that tech application prudent to explore.”
He undoes the latches and opens the case. He takes out a photograph and flings it towards us on the table, it stopped just before it falls off the edge. Me and ponthyt cautiously take chairs and sit down, before the admiral does also.
Ponthyt takes the photo, studies it and hands it to me. It was a black and white photo of a Farsul wearing some kind of PPE made of rubber that seemed to have pockets in it to store some kind of filling. It covered him head to toe and a mask topped it off. I recognized that mask. It was the iconic symbol of atomic researchers. He was holding a colossal pair of tongs and was manipulating a small cylinder that I assumed was fuel for some kind of reactor.
“This is a fission reactor worker, one of the first. He's taking spent fuel to be disposed of, a routine procedure. But do you know what happened to him?” Me and Ponthyt shake our heads as I slide the photo back to the admiral. “When he dumped the spent fuel in the waste something happened. The whole waste bin began to heat up rapidly and melted through the floor. Before it cooled enough to stop its trip to the mantle.”
He then slides another photo that had a picture of a melted floor with debris filling the bottom. “We had no Idea what caused it. This was at a reactor testing facility at the south pole and it had our scientists stumped for years. Spent fuel shouldnt have enough energy or be unstable enough to spontaneously react like that. We only recently confirmed the cause ”
I shot up to look at the admiral. “Wait, this was during the testing phase forty some years ago? And you only found out what caused it now?” He nodded
“Nuclear science was a blossoming field. We had only just got a reactor to be self-sufficient. Let alone producing excess power. We were sailing in a cyclone of uncertainties.” He spoke with a grave inflection that sent shivers down my spine. Ponthyt put his paw on mine and rubbed it to comfort me. But I could see he was just as disturbed by the admiral's tone as I was.
Dread threatened to swallow my heart as he slid another photograph to us. It seemed to be a crater of uncertain size, it was in a desert and the near perfectly circular ring confused me. Had there been a meteor strike that I didn't hear about?
“We figured out what caused that waste meltdown, it was something we call the devils spit. But officially it's an element called plutonium. It is an even more unstable element than U-235. It is produced by nuclear reactors that use U-235. It was produced in much higher concentration in that early reactor than in later models. We only discovered it recently.”
I felt myself be muddled in confusion. “Why in all these decades of research have you only discovered it now?”
He sighs as he slides us another photograph. “People who worked on that reactor all died from radiation poisoning soon after the meltdown. We lost many great minds and we didn't want to lose more. So we banned research on that site until remote operated machines were developed.”
We take the photograph and stare at it. It was a rather crude vehicle, with two massive robotic appendages connected to the chassis. One had a massive crude looking four digit claw with the digits arranged in pairs and set to opposing the other pair. The other was a massive circular saw. The back of the vehicle had what appeared to be other attachments the arms could switch between including a drill and a bucket. It was a tall massive creation that had three snow tires that were taller than the Farsul standing near it. He seemed to be holding a large boxy apparatus that had sticks protruding out from the flat surface, the box also seemed to be connected to massive cables that lead up to a massive spool of the cable on the back of the vehicle.
“This kinda looks like explorer two.” The famous probe that was sent to study our rocky planet neighbor Ruea was an icon among those who loved space. So the resemblance was obvious.
“Yes, the Department of energy commissioned MASEA's robotic department to build it so they could study the decades old mysterious meltdown. I was also there as using spent fuel potentially concerned the military.” He scoffed. “Not for the reasons I imagined it for but it did vary much so concerned the military. “ He rubbed his muzzle and closed his eyes and chuckled to himself.
“Wait, you said the cause was the element plutonium. But there is no such element?” He opened his eyes and gave me a waverting smile.
“Yes, we only discovered it after taking samples of the devils spit. An element produced by the reactor. We tested its capabilities in the deserts up north… But one of the first reactors that incorporated the substance had a failure. These reactors were operated remotely so no personnel were at risk but that reactor ran away from us far far faster than the first.” He stood up and walked over to us.
“So fast that I… approved testing if it could be made into a bomb… and it can… a terrible, terrible bomb.” He paced around us, I didn't know how to process this. Sure, new weapons of war were never a good thing but how bad could this new bomb be?
He circled back down to his seat and rummaged through his briefcase. “While the DOE continued to develop the plutonium reactors to explore their potential and did end up rolling out a few stable designs that could enrich spent fuel… I oversaw the development of the bombs.” He took out yet another photo and slid it to us. This time it was what appeared to be a large black ovoid with a Farsul standing near it. Just barely a head taller than the object.
“That was the first prototype. It was dropped in the desert and punched that mile wide crater. I showed you the picture of it.”
Horror filled my chest at the implications of such a powerful weapon. He breathed in deeply and let out a long sigh. “But that's not the worst of it, we developed even more powerful versions. The biggest being a fusion bomb that uses the initial explosion to compress a tritium core, causing an even larger fusion bomb.” He then slides another photo to us. This time it was a rocket flying through the atmosphere. “Now imagine these bombs are stuck into rockets, they can travel and strike anywhere on the planet. They are just a single relatively small object but can annihilate a city of any size.”
What the admiral had explained was a terrifying prospect of total destruction on a scale unseen before in our entire history. Anger was boiling within me, directed at the admiral for developing such an evil creation “Why, under heaven's blue sky… Would you continue to make them worse? Why would you strap them to a rocket and make this kind of devastation even possible!” He stood up and paced in front of us.
“I had to explore what the limits of this tech were, if it's any consolation the information to build them is under tight lock and key and I intend to never use them.”
“It isn't.”
He looks down and rubs the end of his muzzle and sighs.
“But what do you want us for? This tech is under your control, why not just burn the documents and dismantle any bombs you made?”
He puts his paw on the back of his head and laughs. “I wish I could, but… The Crafur archipelago “liberated” a high ranking scientist involved with the project that is a ethnic descendant of them. They aren't happy we developed a power source that replaced their oil palms and crippled their economy as a result. They were suspicious of us and kidnaped him to know exactly what we were doing. Now they have all they need to make those bombs themselves.” He sits back down as he pulls at his head fur. “We are manufacturing a stockpile in hopes that they wouldn't be stupid enough to attack us if we can deliver an equally powerful blow.”
Ponthyt stood up and spoke up in a voice dripping in fear. “What does… any of this have to do with us?”
The Admiral then points to the paintings on the wall. “Your lidar tech could be instrumental in developing a counter weapon if any of the Crafur regional dictators threw a few of their bombs at us. I want you and a few other scientists I’m recruiting to work on an anti missile lidar defense mechanism. Using your in time calculations of its trajectory you we could drastically improve our capabilities at shooting them down before they can blow up our cities”
Ponthyt sits back down. “What would this entail?”
The admiral pats down his uniform before staring at us. “You two would be shipped off to a remote site to begin developing and testing the system. In order to maintain secrecy. You will… disappear, at least for a number of years. We will make sure you're as anonymous as possible and that when the system is made public… along with the bombs, no one will know you worked on it.”
Dread and anger began to drive my motions, before I calmed them down and responded. “What of our children?”
A sadness overtook the admiral's features. And Ponthyt seemed to share the same emotion only ten times as intensely. “They will be moved with you to the site..”
Anger began to fill me with abject terror and uncontested fury. “ How DARE YOU!!! They have a life here! Friends , family and events! I will not willingly uproot their lives!.”
Ponthyt stands up with a calm disgust at the farsul “We will never subject that to our pups, our very world, to that just to help clean up the mess YOU made!!!”
The waste of space in front of us took on a look of quiet rage. “You don't have a choice, I am enlisting you whether or not you come willingly.”
I grabbed a cup and was about to throw it at the demon before Ponthyt grabbed my arm and gave me a look that told me he had a plan. “Are you really going to make a pregnant woman work on your side hustle?” He guides my hand back down and places the cup back on the table. “You can take me, but Maarchal stays here with our pups.” I snap back at him. He uttered not a lie but I was hesitant to make that kind of threat.
The admiral smoothes out his head fur and clears his throat. “It doesn't matter, I gave you classified military information which now makes you a threat to national security. Which means I have the right and authority to do with you as is necessary. Besides I don't see how pregnancy will prevent you from the work you’ll do. Your thinkers, will be working in a lab with a team, not grunts.” He stood up and he left the room. “You shall be given a few hours to gather your necessities and sentimentals. My soldiers will observe you to ensure no contraband shall be brought along, then you shall be escorted to gather your children. I look forward to seeing you at the site.”
Me and Ponthyt stared at each other. A cold dread washed over us, so powerful I felt I was going limp. Ponthtyt stared at me, with a shell shocked look. As we contemplated our situation the pair of soldiers arrived as the admiral had stated.
Only a few hours left in our home
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This is not a plan for my REDONE project, but just an idea I had while I was rewatching Attack of the Clones and making some changes to Episode 2 REDONE.
A lot of influences and ideas Lucas had for Attack of the Clones were sound: a blooming love story within the political backdrop at the center of the civil war, Palpatine using the war to gain power, Anakin's disillusionment with the ways of the Jedi, a hidden web of conspiracies setting for the war, and Dooku as this Jedi renegade who has defected to the Separatists. It has a lot of cool ideas, which is why frustrating the film fumbles at materializing them.
Aside from the romance between Anakin and Padme, the major failing of Attack of the Clones is that Lucas fails to show the turmoil of people of the galaxy, which would create a condition for Palpatine to rise. It is part of the reason why the politics in this movie is so boring because it doesn't dramatize the politics. Game of Thrones showed the general audience can get into a political epic.
So I decided to make a new outline, one that is faithful to Lucas' vision, ideas, and influences, while fleshing them out to make a more coherent story, also taking some cues from The Empire Strikes Back.
I also borrowed from and built upon the AOTC fixes I have done in the past:
https://old.reddit.com/fixingmovies/comments/qoftgq/in_attack_of_the_clones_padm%C3%A9_should_have_been/
https://old.reddit.com/fixingmovies/comments/z5m5wf/in_the_dooku_duel_in_attack_of_the_clones_obiwan/
Crawl:
The galaxy is falling asunder. Thousands of solar systems have declared their intentions to leave the Galactic Republic to create the CONFEDERACY OF INDEPENDENT SYSTEMS.
As war seems imminent, this Separatist movement, supported by various conglomerates like the TRADE FEDERATION, is mass-producing Droid Armies to strike at the crumbling Republic.
Senator Amidala, the former Queen of Naboo, is arriving at Alderaan to discuss the critical issue of granting Chancellor Palpatine emergency powers to assist the overwhelmed Jedi....
Alderaan:
The story begins in the galaxy standing on the brink of a massive war that is yet to be called the "Clone Wars". We see Padme Amidala, now a Senator, arriving with her aide Cordé at the beautiful planet of Alderaan. After the Battle of Naboo, Padme Amidala became sort of a star--a prominent voice against separatistism--but she is adamant against the Emergency Powers Act. This act is an amendment to the Galactic Constitution, which will grant Palpatine limitless powers, including bypassing the Senate to create a standing army to fight the Separatists.
She believes not only this would destroy the very foundation of our great Republic, but a war would immediately follow. As someone who experienced the misery of war first-hand, she does not wish to do it again and believes a peaceful solution with the Separatists is still possible. She meets Senator Bail Organa, the representative of Alderaan. Alderaan is a major progressive voting block, and Padme is here to unify the opposition against the constitutional amendment before the Senate votes on it. She has enough clouts and popularity to stop the amendment. Bail agrees with her that the emergency powers could be authoritarian, but he believes in the necessity of a centralized standing army in the face of the Separatist threat.
As they discuss this matter, with Padme saying, "The day we stop believing democracy can work is the day we lose it", the meeting is adjourned abruptly when a city-wide alert is raised. They look outside to witness the Separatist battle fleet filling the sky, blinding the sunlight, and beginning a massive invasion of Alderaan. We switch to Count Dooku on the Separatist battleship (at this point, we don't see his face and learn his name), who reports to the hologram of his Master Darth Sidious that he has caught Senator Padme Amidala in the basket. He also said he had ordered the Separatist forces to launch an all-out offensive against the Republic systems. Sidious smiles, "Good, good..."
Unknown Planet somewhere in the Outer Rim Territories:
Meanwhile, on the other side of the galaxy, the Republic-aligned local planetary military under the command of the local government is retreating from an abrupt Separatist offensive. The Republic is seemingly losing the war that has just begun, and we see the ineffectiveness of the planetary forces in the face of the relentless droid forces. Here, we see Anakin and Obi-Wan's fleet commanding the evacuation of the planetary forces.
Some of the remaining Republic forces are pinned down on the surface and on the verge of annihilation, but Obi-Wan orders an immediate withdrawal, making a decision to sacrifice the few for the many. In an act of courage, Anakin disobeys Obi-Wan's orders to fly down alone to the atmosphere and help them make a safe evacuation. Anakin escorts them back to the retreating fleet, saving them. Obi-Wan scolds Anakin. With this, we understand Anakin's character--reckless but selflessly cares for his friends--and see his relationship with his Master Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan is struggling as a Master to Anakin Skywalker. This is because Obi-Wan didn't take Anakin because he has a connection with him. He was entrusted out of obligation and duty for his dead Master Qui-Gon Jinn (whose name does not even get mentioned in the movie). So obviously, it is no wonder their relationship seems broken. Anakin feels attachments and all the emotions the Jedi Code forbids. He thinks Obi-Wan is too strict and cold--only one-minded about missions and duties.
Coruscant:
In the Republic ship, Anakin has a nightmare about her mother Shmi Skywalker. She's still trapped on Tatooine as a slave, and he wonders what happened to her. Anakin and Obi-Wan return to Coruscant, which is currently in a state of panic after listening to the news of the Republic retreat. Anakin and Obi-Wan's fleet is not the only ones that have retreated. There are other battle-scared starfleets and burned-out hulks that line the docks of Coruscant. These Republic forces are not "centralized", in the sense that each planetary military is locally managed by their local government and loosely coordinated under the large umbrella of the Republic (think of NATO). Chancellor Palpatine and Jedi Council members have come to greet Anakin and Obi-Wan in the landing area. They are aghast at the wounded soldiers pouring out from the ships. Anakin and Obi-Wan report the current situation to them.
Master Dooku, one of the prominent members of the Council (so it can be an actual twist when Dooku is later revealed to be a bad guy), also arrives at Coruscant alongside the half-destroyed Alderaanian fleets after fighting the battle over Alderaan. He is on good terms with Obi-Wan and Anakin since he was Qui-Gon Jinn's Master. Chancellor Palpatine is here, too, congratulating Anakin for his heroic effort. Palpatine suggests giving Anakin a reward. Anakin asks for a brief leave to return to Tatooine to see his mother. He wants to visit her for one last time before getting sent to the war. Much to Anakin's dismay, the Council rejects this on the grounds that the Jedi should let go of their past and attachments. The Jedi, especially Padawans, are strictly under the discipline with no autonomy. They cannot go anywhere they want. Instead, Dooku orders Obi-Wan and Anakin to go to Alderaan, which is currently invaded by the Separatists. The Alderaanians are currently unable to reach Padme. Their mission is to find her and bring her back safely.
Regards to the hotly controversial emergency powers, the Jedi Council, like the public, is divided on this issue. Obi-Wan and Dooku are supportive of the amendment. Both blame the incompetency of the Senate and the politicians in handling the crisis, "Don't forget she's a politician. They're not to be trusted", "It's been my experience that Senators are only focused on pleasing those who fund their campaigns... and they are more than willing to forget the niceties of democracy to get those funds". This is why they are shown to be very much supportive of Palpatine's controversial policies that can be perceived as authoritarian. In contrast, Anakin is apolitical--he never cared about politics.
Alderaan:
Anakin and Obi-Wan depart to a ravaged Alderaan. The battle is ongoing, and the Alderaanian forces seem to be unable to beat back the Droid Army. Here, the Jedi meet Senator Bail Organa for the first time, who is overseeing the Alderaanian forces. The battle resembles the Civil War battle from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, in which both sides are dug in the trenches and unable to penetrate each other's defense line. Bail informs the Jedi that Padme's emergency powers talk was held in Aldera in ruins, currently occupied by the Separatists, and she would be stuck there--under their captive or hidden out of the enemy sight. The Separatists are entrenched in Aldera--a city protected by a massive energy shield. Bail informs the Jedi that they are on schedule and under their continued bombardment of the city, the enemy shields would be overwhelmed in a further month. Both Jedi are stunned, but they have no choice.
In the enemy stronghold in Aldera, we quickly learn why Dooku gave the assignment to find Padme to Anakin and Obi-Wan. It's because the Separatists are unable to find Padme, who seemingly has disappeared. If she had been rescued by the Republic, she would be on the news, which means she is still somewhere in Aldera. Dooku reports to the hologram of his Master that he cannot find Padme. Dooku is then Force-choked by his Master. Dooku pleads to his Master, promising him that he will get her.
Meanwhile, the Alderaanian troops watch the HoloNet broadcast of the current Senate session. As a major progressive voting block, Alderaanians and Senator Bail Organa used to be against granting emergency powers to the Chancellor, but this invasion has changed their mind. Palpatine has firmly established himself as a wartime Chancellor. Through the hologram, Bail Organa gives a speech in favor of the amendment and votes for it, which sways the rest of the Senate to his side. The amendment has passed. Palpatine says, "I love democracy. I love the Republic. Once this crisis has abated, I will lay down the powers you have given me!"
Meanwhile, a week has passed, and the trench warfare is ongoing. In Aldera, Corde--Padme's body double--is helping Padme hide in the underground subway tunnel. Corde leaves to get her more food and water but is then caught by the droids. The droids present her to Dooku. Corde is shocked to find that Jedi Master Dooku is the leader of the Separatist movement Dooku raises his hands and unleashes the Force lightning to torture her to open her mouth to locate Padme.
The newly created "Grand Army of the Republic" has arrived at Alderaan, wearing shining white armor. They are welcomed enthusiastically by the Alderaanian forces. Obi-Wan is surprised that the standing army has already been dispatched to warfare, so he tries to talk with them, but they seem... "different".
Anakin arrives, bearing "lunch", a cloth full of live insects and worms, which he casually reports he got from inside the CIS base after discovering an underground entrance into the city, running through the sewers beneath the protective shield. Obi-Wan scolds Anakin for being reckless. While the new Republic army installs the even more powerful cannons to bombard of the shield above ground, Anakin guides Obi-Wan the way through the sewers and into the underground levels of the city. Obi-Wan suspects Padme is dead at this point, but Anakin can sense her, due to the strong bond they formed during The Phantom Menace--he can feel she is holding his japor snippet tight. From there, they make their way to the shield generator chamber. Anakin wants to fight the droids, but Obi-Wan stops him. Obi-Wan simply blows up the shield generator by using small spherical bombs and pointing out that there are alternatives to fighting. With the shield down, the white-armored Republic troopers begin a full-scale attack on the city.
As Corde finally confesses to Dooku where Padme is hiding, the droids rush in to inform Dooku that the shield is deactivated. Dooku orders the droids to go after Padme while hurrying to flee.
The battle of Aldera is chaotic. The Republic troopers are aggressive and far more competent than the local planetary forces, dispatching the battle droids. Anakin rushes into the Separatist-ran POW camp alone to search for Padme. Instead, he finds a dying Cordé. She apologizes to Anakin, disheartened in thinking she had failed her duty to her mistress. She tells Padme is hiding in the underground subway tunnel of Aldera, and in her last grasp, tells him that Dooku is behind the Separatists. Anakin initially does not believe her, but there is no time to go and tell Obi-Wan about this. Anakin races to the underground tunnel. While Obi-Wan is looking for Anakin, he stumbles on the two corpses of the Republic troopers, whose helmets are cracked. He takes a closer look and discovers that these troopers have identical faces.
Anakin finds Padme, who has been hiding all these years. At first, she doesn't recognize him, for he has grown so much. Anakin is glad that she kept her word about keeping his japor snippet. However, the battle droids are rushing into the tunnel, and they both flee. Obi-Wan comes to rescue them. When Anakin is about to inform him of the last words of Padme's body double, "Master" Dooku is standing alongside Obi-Wan, listening to Anakin. Dooku asks him to hand Padme over to him. Anakin refuses, saying that he will be the one taking her to Coruscant. Obi-Wan allows him, for Anakin has been missing Padme for a long time. Anakin and Padme board his ship and leave Alderaan in haste.
Obi-Wan turns to Dooku to inform him that all Republic troopers are clones. Dooku pretends to be surprised. Bail suggests looking into Kamino--the civilization highly proficient in cloning technology.
Coruscant:
This is where Anakin and Obi-Wan's storylines diverge in two. Obi-Wan and Dooku arrive at Coruscant and visit the Archives. Kamino doesn't show up in any data. Dooku says, "If an item does not appear in our records, it does not exist!" Dooku heads off, and Obi-Wan is not satisfied.
Obi-Wan visits Yoda currently training Younglings. The scene goes the same as the film's, except at the end, Master Dooku barges into the room and says Anakin has still yet to be returned to Coruscant with Padme. Yoda predicts Anakin must have gone to Tatooine. Obi-Wan is frustrated with his apprentice, complaining that Anakin is too reckless and refuses to obey his command.
Obi-Wan: "I realize now what you and Master Yoda knew from the beginning... the boy was too old to start the training and..."
Yoda: "Obi-Wan, have faith that take the right path he will."
Yoda surprisingly asks Obi-Wan to trust his apprentice rather than control him. This makes Obi-Wan rethink his relationship. In order to bridge the relationship between Anakin and Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan's arc is that he must see Anakin as a man and respect him. Obi-Wan forms a connection with him by understanding Anakin's point of view ("What I told you was true, from a certain point of view."). Obi-Wan realizes maybe the Jedi Code is too rigid, and a sense of duties and obligation alone can't make one a great Jedi. This character arc lends well to The Clone Wars TV series and Revenge of the Sith, in which Obi-Wan evolved into a more quippy, light-hearted character who has a drastically different personality from TPM and AOTC. Both Anakin and Obi-Wan would become more understanding of each other, and as a result, their clash at Mustafar becomes more heartwrenching.
Anyway, Yoda orders Obi-Wan to go to Kamino to investigate the Clone Army. Dooku, learning where Padme has gone, smiles. He contacts and sends his army of bounty hunters to Tatooine. Jango Fett is not the only bounty hunter Dooku hired. Dooku orders them to use Anakin's mother Shmi Skywalker as bait.
Kamino:
From here, Obi-Wan's plotline is pretty much identical to the film's. He investigates Kamino, learns it was the Jedi Master who ordered the creation of the clone army for the Republic to prepare for the war, figures out that the bounty hunter Jango Fett is the genetic template for the clones, then Obi-Wan fights and chases him to Geonosis.
Geonosis:
There, Obi-Wan discovers Dooku in the middle of the conversation with the Separatist leaders. He realizes Dooku is the true mastermind of the Separatist Confederacy, and the new Separatist army is amassing to attack the Republic systems.
Tatooine:
For Anakin's co-occurring storyline, it is also largely similar. Anakin and Padme discuss politics and democracy, and Padme's ideals. Anakin sees politics as a simple matter, "That sounds an awful lot like a dictatorship to me", "Well, if it works...", as well as discussing Anakin's frustration with the Jedi Code. Anakin hates the Separatists because the slaver guilds have allied themselves to the Confederacy. Anakin keeps having a nightmare of her mother, and now she is dying in his dream.
Later, Padme awakes to find out that the ship has landed on Tatooine, not Coruscant. She is upset and argues with Anakin. He lied to her. He finally reveals what he learned about Dooku and says Tatooine is the safest location. Anakin believes the Jedi Council is compromised and can't trust it anymore, though Padme knows that is not the only reason. It is partially for Anakin to meet his mother again. His former owner Watto reveals that he sold Shmi to a moisture farmer named Cliegg Lars, who then freed and married her. They then get the Lars family, who tell Anakin that the Tusken raiders have abducted Shmi just recently. Padme allows him to leave her and track down the Tuskens, for she will be safe under the guard of the Lars family.
Anakin locates the campsite where one of Dooku's bounty hunters, having paid the Tuskens to kidnap Shmi, is torturing her in a tent. When the bounty hunter leaves, Anakin frees Shmi, who dies in his arms. The bounty hunter returns to the tent and is quickly apprehended by an enraged Anakin. Anakin "forces" him to make him confess who hired him. The bounty hunter says it is Dooku, and Anakin kills him after confirming his suspicion. Hearing the noise, the Tusken raiders surround the tent. Anakin massacres the entire tribe. Now, Anakin has personal stakes in defeating Dooku, and facing him is crucial in Anakin's arc in the story, unlike how he had no idea who Dooku even was in the film.
Anakin returns to the Lars homestead and finds out that the Lars family is held hostage by Dooku's bounty hunters. Anakin fights the bounty hunters to free Owen and Beau, but Cliegg is murdered. Despite Anakin's best efforts, the bounty hunters escape Tatooine with Padme to Geonosis. Anakin feels guilty about forsaking his duty and leaving her to the homestead.
Anakin races back to his ship, on which Anakin receives the message from Obi-Wan warning the Republic and the Council about Dooku and the imminent Separatist attack on the Republic. Anakin contacts the Council about what happened to Padme. Mace Windu orders Anakin to return to Coruscant. Don't do anything out of impulse. The Council will take care of it. Trust in the Council's judgment. Here, Anakin is facing two paths. Be a good, little, nice Jedi, and follow the Council's order, or chase after Dooku to save Padme and Obi-Wan. This is the point at which Anakin tests his resolve. Anakin makes a decision to go against the Jedi code (Attachment is forbidden) and get to Geonosis alone.
Geonosis:
Obi-Wan is held captive while Dooku comes along. Instead of Dooku revealing there is a Dark Lord of the Sith controlling the Republic (there is no reason for Dooku to spill the beans here), the confrontation with Dooku forces Obi-Wan to grow out of Qui-Gon Jinn's death. He should face the fact that his Master's Master has turned to the dark side because of the strict Jedi Code and the Republic's corruption. After all, Obi-Wan investigated the clone army, which was apparently commissioned by a member of the Jedi Council. And then the Republic will use the clone army--this immoral slave force--in the war. Then Dooku persuades Obi-Wan to join him. They both agree that they are dissatisfied with the ways the Republic and the Jedi Order handle things, so maybe Obi-Wan can see Dooku's point of view. Dooku should be a personification of what Anakin COULD become, concerning Obi-Wan that Anakin can succumb to the same fate as Dooku. This motivates Obi-Wan to gain some understanding with his apprentice Anakin.
From this point, the story is nearly identical to the movie. Anakin fights the Geonosians in the factory but also gets captured. Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Padme are pushed to the execution arena (don't have Anakin and Padme kiss here) and fight the beasts. The Jedi Knights arrive to rescue.
Here's the crucial difference. Instead of Padmé safely boarding the gunships and escaping the arena battle with the Jedi and the clones, she gets captured by Dooku during the arena fight. Dooku holds Padmé as a hostage and announces it to the Jedi, stopping the arena battle. Dooku says he will kill her if the Jedi continue resisting. Anakin insists they should surrender, however, all the Jedi glance at each other and arrive at the same conclusion: they will fight. This fuels Anakin's resentment toward the Jedi.
At the last moment, the clones arrive, blasting and destroying the battle droids. Dooku takes Padmé and flees. He has another idea of what to do with her. The clones and the Jedi escape, and the Battle of Geonosis begins. Now, there are personal character-related stakes for Anakin. Anakin is adamant about chasing Dooku from the start of the battle. The battle is now an obstacle for Anakin to catch up with Dooku, blocking the gunship's path. Instead of the conflict between Anakin and Obi-Wan on the gunship being "stop the gunship to rescue Padmé fell on the desert", which ends up pointless in the story, now, the conflict is that Obi-Wan believes this is a trap to lure Anakin. Obi-Wan shouts at Anakin not to follow Dooku. But angered by the other Jedi's lack of care for Padmé during the arena fight, Anakin ignores his warning and heads to rescue Padmé alone.
Catching up to Dooku in the hangar, Anakin finds that Dooku is holding Padme captive. Dooku taunts Anakin by holding Padme in the air with the Force choke, which echoes what Anakin does to Padmé in Revenge of the Sith. Now, Anakin's rashed charge at Dooku makes more sense because there is a clearer trigger for Anakin to act this way. Dooku hurls Padmé away, and the lightsaber fight commences. During the duel, Dooku reveals that he is the one who ordered to torture of his mother. Anakin gets all the more angry and impulsive, and predictably, gets his hand chopped off.
Instead of Yoda arriving late to save Anakin, it should have been Obi-Wan arriving late. In the movie, you get a supposedly "Master versus Apprentice" dialogue between the two, and you don't feel anything because you don't even know Dooku was Yoda's apprentice beforehand. Yoda vs Dooku was not built up, but Obi-Wan vs Dooku was built up. This is a student of the student going against the old Master, and these two characters having the dialogue makes more sense.
The fighting between Obi-Wan and Dooku is fierce but cut short when Dooku brings down a pillar over Anakin, forcing Obi-Wan to break off his attack to save him. Dooku then moves to his escape ship, forcing Obi-Wan to make a choice: a mission--that is stopping Dooku and ending the entire Clone Wars--or Anakin's life. Sacrificing a few to save the many. Although Obi-Wan should pick the first option as a Jedi Knight of the Republic, he eventually chooses Anakin's life. Dooku escapes.
Coruscant:
After the battle, Dooku arrives at Coruscant to meet Sidious as in the film, but Dooku reports one more thing to Sidious. He says that Anakin has fallen to the dark side for the girl.
Coruscant is currently holding a massive military parade through the city, resembling Roman Triumph, to celebrate the victory over Geonosis, while Palpatine is publically revealing the existence of the clone army. The citizens love Palpatine and see the hope that the Republic might win the war. The Jedi will also join the parade, with each Knight leading a battalion of clone troopers.
Preparing to be part of the parade, Anakin and Obi-Wan, for the first time in the story, have a heart-to-heart conversation, not a rigid Master-Student lecture. Anakin realizes he has been too reckless. His brash act of confronting Dooku alone costs him his arm and he apologizes to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan then gives some respect to Anakin, for he has successfully protected Padme. In a way, Obi-Wan and Anakin go through the opposite character arcs. Obi-Wan changes from someone who supports Palpatine and, as he discovers the hidden conspiracies, to someone who is now against him and his emergency powers. Anakin, after witnessing what Dooku has done to his mother, is now looking for blood and vengeance against the Separatists--staunchly supporting more authoritarian measures to fight the war. This change goes alongside Anakin's embrace of more radical emotions.
Before Anakin and Obi-Wan depart to join the parade, Obi-Wan senses love between Anakin and Padme. Secretly, Padme kisses Anakin for the first time (No marriage as it comes across as too abrupt at this point).
As the Jedi march alongside the clone troopers, Obi-Wan secretly discusses with his Masters in the line his finding that it was likely Dooku who ordered the creation of the clone army for the Republic. Yoda and Mace Windu warn them to not reveal this secret to anyone else. They discuss if Dooku is the mysterious Sith Lord (Maul's Master) they were looking for... or maybe Dooku is the new apprentice of this mysterious Sith Lord. If there is another Sith Lord, he could be residing within the Republic's power structure. They found themselves fighting another war inside the Republic.
Palpatine oversees the parade from the top, while the citizens of the Republic cheer. Anakin gladly pledges his loyalty to the most powerful Chancellor in history, while Padme watches the parade with visible frustration as her efforts to stop Palpatine's emergency powers have utterly failed.
I tried to keep the general story elements the same. I focused on fixing what was already in the story rather than discarding it. I fleshed out the characters to be more active and get to have more choices in the decisions. The politics are more integrated into the character drama rather than being in the background. The character arcs for Anakin and Obi-Wan are clearer, with the climax concluding each arc. Instead of Anakin and Padme hiding on Naboo and just playing the patty cake for half of the film, the story is more aggressive and focuses on the war itself. Dooku's concept is utilized to the fullest as he manipulates the Jedi from within and firmly establishes him as Anakin's arch-villain. Padmé falling in love with Anakin makes more sense because she sees how far Anakin is willing to go to save her, especially in the climax. Anakin earns her love, not handed out to him. The romance is constantly developing to the end.
The qualm with the outline is how Anakin finds Padme in Aldera. Dooku sends Anakin and Obi-Wan to Alderaan so that they can find her for Dooku, only for Dooku to go to Alderaan himself and torture Padme's body double to learn about where Padme is. Dooku sending the Jedi then becomes pointless anyway. Another problem is that Padme only meets Anakin at the midpoint, so she doesn't interact with Anakin all that much, and the relationship doesn't get enough time and development.
Aside from those issues, I found the final outline to be more satisfying and tighter in my Episode 2 REDONE. Maybe sometime later someone would do a full rewrite treatment based on this outline lol.

This is not a plan for my REDONE project, but just an idea I had while I was rewatching Attack of the Clones and making some changes to Episode 2 REDONE.
A lot of influences and ideas Lucas had for Attack of the Clones were sound: a blooming love story within the political backdrop at the center of the civil war, Palpatine using the war to gain power, Anakin's disillusionment with the ways of the Jedi, a hidden web of conspiracies setting for the war, and Dooku as this Jedi renegade who has defected to the Separatists. It has a lot of cool ideas, which is why frustrating the film fumbles at materializing them.
Aside from the romance between Anakin and Padme, the major failing of Attack of the Clones is that Lucas fails to show the turmoil of people of the galaxy, which would create a condition for Palpatine to rise. It is part of the reason why the politics in this movie is so boring because it doesn't dramatize the politics. Game of Thrones showed the general audience can get into a political epic.
So I decided to make a new outline, one that is faithful to Lucas' vision, ideas, and influences, while fleshing them out to make a more coherent story, also taking some cues from The Empire Strikes Back.
I also borrowed from and built upon the AOTC fixes I have done in the past:
https://old.reddit.com/fixingmovies/comments/qoftgq/in_attack_of_the_clones_padm%C3%A9_should_have_been/
https://old.reddit.com/fixingmovies/comments/z5m5wf/in_the_dooku_duel_in_attack_of_the_clones_obiwan/
Crawl:
The galaxy is falling asunder. Thousands of solar systems have declared their intentions to leave the Galactic Republic to create the CONFEDERACY OF INDEPENDENT SYSTEMS.
As war seems imminent, this Separatist movement, supported by various conglomerates like the TRADE FEDERATION, is mass-producing Droid Armies to strike at the crumbling Republic.
Senator Amidala, the former Queen of Naboo, is arriving at Alderaan to discuss the critical issue of granting Chancellor Palpatine emergency powers to assist the overwhelmed Jedi....
Alderaan:
The story begins in the galaxy standing on the brink of a massive war that is yet to be called the "Clone Wars". We see Padme Amidala, now a Senator, arriving with her aide Cordé at the beautiful planet of Alderaan. After the Battle of Naboo, Padme Amidala became sort of a star--a prominent voice against separatistism--but she is adamant against the Emergency Powers Act. This act is an amendment to the Galactic Constitution, which will grant Palpatine limitless powers, including bypassing the Senate to create a standing army to fight the Separatists.
She believes not only this would destroy the very foundation of our great Republic, but a war would immediately follow. As someone who experienced the misery of war first-hand, she does not wish to do it again and believes a peaceful solution with the Separatists is still possible. She meets Senator Bail Organa, the representative of Alderaan. Alderaan is a major progressive voting block, and Padme is here to unify the opposition against the constitutional amendment before the Senate votes on it. She has enough clouts and popularity to stop the amendment. Bail agrees with her that the emergency powers could be authoritarian, but he believes in the necessity of a centralized standing army in the face of the Separatist threat.
As they discuss this matter, with Padme saying, "The day we stop believing democracy can work is the day we lose it", the meeting is adjourned abruptly when a city-wide alert is raised. They look outside to witness the Separatist battle fleet filling the sky, blinding the sunlight, and beginning a massive invasion of Alderaan. We switch to Count Dooku on the Separatist battleship (at this point, we don't see his face and learn his name), who reports to the hologram of his Master Darth Sidious that he has caught Senator Padme Amidala in the basket. He also said he had ordered the Separatist forces to launch an all-out offensive against the Republic systems. Sidious smiles, "Good, good..."
Unknown Planet somewhere in the Outer Rim Territories:
Meanwhile, on the other side of the galaxy, the Republic-aligned local planetary military under the command of the local government is retreating from an abrupt Separatist offensive. The Republic is seemingly losing the war that has just begun, and we see the ineffectiveness of the planetary forces in the face of the relentless droid forces. Here, we see Anakin and Obi-Wan's fleet commanding the evacuation of the planetary forces.
Some of the remaining Republic forces are pinned down on the surface and on the verge of annihilation, but Obi-Wan orders an immediate withdrawal, making a decision to sacrifice the few for the many. In an act of courage, Anakin disobeys Obi-Wan's orders to fly down alone to the atmosphere and help them make a safe evacuation. Anakin escorts them back to the retreating fleet, saving them. Obi-Wan scolds Anakin. With this, we understand Anakin's character--reckless but selflessly cares for his friends--and see his relationship with his Master Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan is struggling as a Master to Anakin Skywalker. This is because Obi-Wan didn't take Anakin because he has a connection with him. He was entrusted out of obligation and duty for his dead Master Qui-Gon Jinn (whose name does not even get mentioned in the movie). So obviously, it is no wonder their relationship seems broken. Anakin feels attachments and all the emotions the Jedi Code forbids. He thinks Obi-Wan is too strict and cold--only one-minded about missions and duties.
Coruscant:
In the Republic ship, Anakin has a nightmare about her mother Shmi Skywalker. She's still trapped on Tatooine as a slave, and he wonders what happened to her. Anakin and Obi-Wan return to Coruscant, which is currently in a state of panic after listening to the news of the Republic retreat. Anakin and Obi-Wan's fleet is not the only ones that have retreated. There are other battle-scared starfleets and burned-out hulks that line the docks of Coruscant. These Republic forces are not "centralized", in the sense that each planetary military is locally managed by their local government and loosely coordinated under the large umbrella of the Republic (think of NATO). Chancellor Palpatine and Jedi Council members have come to greet Anakin and Obi-Wan in the landing area. They are aghast at the wounded soldiers pouring out from the ships. Anakin and Obi-Wan report the current situation to them.
Master Dooku, one of the prominent members of the Council (so it can be an actual twist when Dooku is later revealed to be a bad guy), also arrives at Coruscant alongside the half-destroyed Alderaanian fleets after fighting the battle over Alderaan. He is on good terms with Obi-Wan and Anakin since he was Qui-Gon Jinn's Master. Chancellor Palpatine is here, too, congratulating Anakin for his heroic effort. Palpatine suggests giving Anakin a reward. Anakin asks for a brief leave to return to Tatooine to see his mother. He wants to visit her for one last time before getting sent to the war. Much to Anakin's dismay, the Council rejects this on the grounds that the Jedi should let go of their past and attachments. The Jedi, especially Padawans, are strictly under the discipline with no autonomy. They cannot go anywhere they want. Instead, Dooku orders Obi-Wan and Anakin to go to Alderaan, which is currently invaded by the Separatists. The Alderaanians are currently unable to reach Padme. Their mission is to find her and bring her back safely.
Regards to the hotly controversial emergency powers, the Jedi Council, like the public, is divided on this issue. Obi-Wan and Dooku are supportive of the amendment. Both blame the incompetency of the Senate and the politicians in handling the crisis, "Don't forget she's a politician. They're not to be trusted", "It's been my experience that Senators are only focused on pleasing those who fund their campaigns... and they are more than willing to forget the niceties of democracy to get those funds". This is why they are shown to be very much supportive of Palpatine's controversial policies that can be perceived as authoritarian. In contrast, Anakin is apolitical--he never cared about politics.
Alderaan:
Anakin and Obi-Wan depart to a ravaged Alderaan. The battle is ongoing, and the Alderaanian forces seem to be unable to beat back the Droid Army. Here, the Jedi meet Senator Bail Organa for the first time, who is overseeing the Alderaanian forces. The battle resembles the Civil War battle from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, in which both sides are dug in the trenches and unable to penetrate each other's defense line. Bail informs the Jedi that Padme's emergency powers talk was held in Aldera in ruins, currently occupied by the Separatists, and she would be stuck there--under their captive or hidden out of the enemy sight. The Separatists are entrenched in Aldera--a city protected by a massive energy shield. Bail informs the Jedi that they are on schedule and under their continued bombardment of the city, the enemy shields would be overwhelmed in a further month. Both Jedi are stunned, but they have no choice.
In the enemy stronghold in Aldera, we quickly learn why Dooku gave the assignment to find Padme to Anakin and Obi-Wan. It's because the Separatists are unable to find Padme, who seemingly has disappeared. If she had been rescued by the Republic, she would be on the news, which means she is still somewhere in Aldera. Dooku reports to the hologram of his Master that he cannot find Padme. Dooku is then Force-choked by his Master. Dooku pleads to his Master, promising him that he will get her.
Meanwhile, the Alderaanian troops watch the HoloNet broadcast of the current Senate session. As a major progressive voting block, Alderaanians and Senator Bail Organa used to be against granting emergency powers to the Chancellor, but this invasion has changed their mind. Palpatine has firmly established himself as a wartime Chancellor. Through the hologram, Bail Organa gives a speech in favor of the amendment and votes for it, which sways the rest of the Senate to his side. The amendment has passed. Palpatine says, "I love democracy. I love the Republic. Once this crisis has abated, I will lay down the powers you have given me!"
Meanwhile, a week has passed, and the trench warfare is ongoing. In Aldera, Corde--Padme's body double--is helping Padme hide in the underground subway tunnel. Corde leaves to get her more food and water but is then caught by the droids. The droids present her to Dooku. Corde is shocked to find that Jedi Master Dooku is the leader of the Separatist movement Dooku raises his hands and unleashes the Force lightning to torture her to open her mouth to locate Padme.
The newly created "Grand Army of the Republic" has arrived at Alderaan, wearing shining white armor. They are welcomed enthusiastically by the Alderaanian forces. Obi-Wan is surprised that the standing army has already been dispatched to warfare, so he tries to talk with them, but they seem... "different".
Anakin arrives, bearing "lunch", a cloth full of live insects and worms, which he casually reports he got from inside the CIS base after discovering an underground entrance into the city, running through the sewers beneath the protective shield. Obi-Wan scolds Anakin for being reckless. While the new Republic army installs the even more powerful cannons to bombard of the shield above ground, Anakin guides Obi-Wan the way through the sewers and into the underground levels of the city. Obi-Wan suspects Padme is dead at this point, but Anakin can sense her, due to the strong bond they formed during The Phantom Menace--he can feel she is holding his japor snippet tight. From there, they make their way to the shield generator chamber. Anakin wants to fight the droids, but Obi-Wan stops him. Obi-Wan simply blows up the shield generator by using small spherical bombs and pointing out that there are alternatives to fighting. With the shield down, the white-armored Republic troopers begin a full-scale attack on the city.
As Corde finally confesses to Dooku where Padme is hiding, the droids rush in to inform Dooku that the shield is deactivated. Dooku orders the droids to go after Padme while hurrying to flee.
The battle of Aldera is chaotic. The Republic troopers are aggressive and far more competent than the local planetary forces, dispatching the battle droids. Anakin rushes into the Separatist-ran POW camp alone to search for Padme. Instead, he finds a dying Cordé. She apologizes to Anakin, disheartened in thinking she had failed her duty to her mistress. She tells Padme is hiding in the underground subway tunnel of Aldera, and in her last grasp, tells him that Dooku is behind the Separatists. Anakin initially does not believe her, but there is no time to go and tell Obi-Wan about this. Anakin races to the underground tunnel. While Obi-Wan is looking for Anakin, he stumbles on the two corpses of the Republic troopers, whose helmets are cracked. He takes a closer look and discovers that these troopers have identical faces.
Anakin finds Padme, who has been hiding all these years. At first, she doesn't recognize him, for he has grown so much. Anakin is glad that she kept her word about keeping his japor snippet. However, the battle droids are rushing into the tunnel, and they both flee. Obi-Wan comes to rescue them. When Anakin is about to inform him of the last words of Padme's body double, "Master" Dooku is standing alongside Obi-Wan, listening to Anakin. Dooku asks him to hand Padme over to him. Anakin refuses, saying that he will be the one taking her to Coruscant. Obi-Wan allows him, for Anakin has been missing Padme for a long time. Anakin and Padme board his ship and leave Alderaan in haste.
Obi-Wan turns to Dooku to inform him that all Republic troopers are clones. Dooku pretends to be surprised. Bail suggests looking into Kamino--the civilization highly proficient in cloning technology.
Coruscant:
This is where Anakin and Obi-Wan's storylines diverge in two. Obi-Wan and Dooku arrive at Coruscant and visit the Archives. Kamino doesn't show up in any data. Dooku says, "If an item does not appear in our records, it does not exist!" Dooku heads off, and Obi-Wan is not satisfied.
Obi-Wan visits Yoda currently training Younglings. The scene goes the same as the film's, except at the end, Master Dooku barges into the room and says Anakin has still yet to be returned to Coruscant with Padme. Yoda predicts Anakin must have gone to Tatooine. Obi-Wan is frustrated with his apprentice, complaining that Anakin is too reckless and refuses to obey his command.
Obi-Wan: "I realize now what you and Master Yoda knew from the beginning... the boy was too old to start the training and..."
Yoda: "Obi-Wan, have faith that take the right path he will."
Yoda surprisingly asks Obi-Wan to trust his apprentice rather than control him. This makes Obi-Wan rethink his relationship. In order to bridge the relationship between Anakin and Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan's arc is that he must see Anakin as a man and respect him. Obi-Wan forms a connection with him by understanding Anakin's point of view ("What I told you was true, from a certain point of view."). Obi-Wan realizes maybe the Jedi Code is too rigid, and a sense of duties and obligation alone can't make one a great Jedi. This character arc lends well to The Clone Wars TV series and Revenge of the Sith, in which Obi-Wan evolved into a more quippy, light-hearted character who has a drastically different personality from TPM and AOTC. Both Anakin and Obi-Wan would become more understanding of each other, and as a result, their clash at Mustafar becomes more heartwrenching.
Anyway, Yoda orders Obi-Wan to go to Kamino to investigate the Clone Army. Dooku, learning where Padme has gone, smiles. He contacts and sends his army of bounty hunters to Tatooine. Jango Fett is not the only bounty hunter Dooku hired. Dooku orders them to use Anakin's mother Shmi Skywalker as bait.
Kamino:
From here, Obi-Wan's plotline is pretty much identical to the film's. He investigates Kamino, learns it was the Jedi Master who ordered the creation of the clone army for the Republic to prepare for the war, figures out that the bounty hunter Jango Fett is the genetic template for the clones, then Obi-Wan fights and chases him to Geonosis.
Geonosis:
There, Obi-Wan discovers Dooku in the middle of the conversation with the Separatist leaders. He realizes Dooku is the true mastermind of the Separatist Confederacy, and the new Separatist army is amassing to attack the Republic systems.
Tatooine:
For Anakin's co-occurring storyline, it is also largely similar. Anakin and Padme discuss politics and democracy, and Padme's ideals. Anakin sees politics as a simple matter, "That sounds an awful lot like a dictatorship to me", "Well, if it works...", as well as discussing Anakin's frustration with the Jedi Code. Anakin hates the Separatists because the slaver guilds have allied themselves to the Confederacy. Anakin keeps having a nightmare of her mother, and now she is dying in his dream.
Later, Padme awakes to find out that the ship has landed on Tatooine, not Coruscant. She is upset and argues with Anakin. He lied to her. He finally reveals what he learned about Dooku and says Tatooine is the safest location. Anakin believes the Jedi Council is compromised and can't trust it anymore, though Padme knows that is not the only reason. It is partially for Anakin to meet his mother again. His former owner Watto reveals that he sold Shmi to a moisture farmer named Cliegg Lars, who then freed and married her. They then get the Lars family, who tell Anakin that the Tusken raiders have abducted Shmi just recently. Padme allows him to leave her and track down the Tuskens, for she will be safe under the guard of the Lars family.
Anakin locates the campsite where one of Dooku's bounty hunters, having paid the Tuskens to kidnap Shmi, is torturing her in a tent. When the bounty hunter leaves, Anakin frees Shmi, who dies in his arms. The bounty hunter returns to the tent and is quickly apprehended by an enraged Anakin. Anakin "forces" him to make him confess who hired him. The bounty hunter says it is Dooku, and Anakin kills him after confirming his suspicion. Hearing the noise, the Tusken raiders surround the tent. Anakin massacres the entire tribe. Now, Anakin has personal stakes in defeating Dooku, and facing him is crucial in Anakin's arc in the story, unlike how he had no idea who Dooku even was in the film.
Anakin returns to the Lars homestead and finds out that the Lars family is held hostage by Dooku's bounty hunters. Anakin fights the bounty hunters to free Owen and Beau, but Cliegg is murdered. Despite Anakin's best efforts, the bounty hunters escape Tatooine with Padme to Geonosis. Anakin feels guilty about forsaking his duty and leaving her to the homestead.
Anakin races back to his ship, on which Anakin receives the message from Obi-Wan warning the Republic and the Council about Dooku and the imminent Separatist attack on the Republic. Anakin contacts the Council about what happened to Padme. Mace Windu orders Anakin to return to Coruscant. Don't do anything out of impulse. The Council will take care of it. Trust in the Council's judgment. Here, Anakin is facing two paths. Be a good, little, nice Jedi, and follow the Council's order, or chase after Dooku to save Padme and Obi-Wan. This is the point at which Anakin tests his resolve. Anakin makes a decision to go against the Jedi code (Attachment is forbidden) and get to Geonosis alone.
Geonosis:
Obi-Wan is held captive while Dooku comes along. Instead of Dooku revealing there is a Dark Lord of the Sith controlling the Republic (there is no reason for Dooku to spill the beans here), the confrontation with Dooku forces Obi-Wan to grow out of Qui-Gon Jinn's death. He should face the fact that his Master's Master has turned to the dark side because of the strict Jedi Code and the Republic's corruption. After all, Obi-Wan investigated the clone army, which was apparently commissioned by a member of the Jedi Council. And then the Republic will use the clone army--this immoral slave force--in the war. Then Dooku persuades Obi-Wan to join him. They both agree that they are dissatisfied with the ways the Republic and the Jedi Order handle things, so maybe Obi-Wan can see Dooku's point of view. Dooku should be a personification of what Anakin COULD become, concerning Obi-Wan that Anakin can succumb to the same fate as Dooku. This motivates Obi-Wan to gain some understanding with his apprentice Anakin.
From this point, the story is nearly identical to the movie. Anakin fights the Geonosians in the factory but also gets captured. Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Padme are pushed to the execution arena (don't have Anakin and Padme kiss here) and fight the beasts. The Jedi Knights arrive to rescue.
Here's the crucial difference. Instead of Padmé safely boarding the gunships and escaping the arena battle with the Jedi and the clones, she gets captured by Dooku during the arena fight. Dooku holds Padmé as a hostage and announces it to the Jedi, stopping the arena battle. Dooku says he will kill her if the Jedi continue resisting. Anakin insists they should surrender, however, all the Jedi glance at each other and arrive at the same conclusion: they will fight. This fuels Anakin's resentment toward the Jedi.
At the last moment, the clones arrive, blasting and destroying the battle droids. Dooku takes Padmé and flees. He has another idea of what to do with her. The clones and the Jedi escape, and the Battle of Geonosis begins. Now, there are personal character-related stakes for Anakin. Anakin is adamant about chasing Dooku from the start of the battle. The battle is now an obstacle for Anakin to catch up with Dooku, blocking the gunship's path. Instead of the conflict between Anakin and Obi-Wan on the gunship being "stop the gunship to rescue Padmé fell on the desert", which ends up pointless in the story, now, the conflict is that Obi-Wan believes this is a trap to lure Anakin. Obi-Wan shouts at Anakin not to follow Dooku. But angered by the other Jedi's lack of care for Padmé during the arena fight, Anakin ignores his warning and heads to rescue Padmé alone.
Catching up to Dooku in the hangar, Anakin finds that Dooku is holding Padme captive. Dooku taunts Anakin by holding Padme in the air with the Force choke, which echoes what Anakin does to Padmé in Revenge of the Sith. Now, Anakin's rashed charge at Dooku makes more sense because there is a clearer trigger for Anakin to act this way. Dooku hurls Padmé away, and the lightsaber fight commences. During the duel, Dooku reveals that he is the one who ordered to torture of his mother. Anakin gets all the more angry and impulsive, and predictably, gets his hand chopped off.
Instead of Yoda arriving late to save Anakin, it should have been Obi-Wan arriving late. In the movie, you get a supposedly "Master versus Apprentice" dialogue between the two, and you don't feel anything because you don't even know Dooku was Yoda's apprentice beforehand. Yoda vs Dooku was not built up, but Obi-Wan vs Dooku was built up. This is a student of the student going against the old Master, and these two characters having the dialogue makes more sense.
The fighting between Obi-Wan and Dooku is fierce but cut short when Dooku brings down a pillar over Anakin, forcing Obi-Wan to break off his attack to save him. Dooku then moves to his escape ship, forcing Obi-Wan to make a choice: a mission--that is stopping Dooku and ending the entire Clone Wars--or Anakin's life. Sacrificing a few to save the many. Although Obi-Wan should pick the first option as a Jedi Knight of the Republic, he eventually chooses Anakin's life. Dooku escapes.
Coruscant:
After the battle, Dooku arrives at Coruscant to meet Sidious as in the film, but Dooku reports one more thing to Sidious. He says that Anakin has fallen to the dark side for the girl.
Coruscant is currently holding a massive military parade through the city, resembling Roman Triumph, to celebrate the victory over Geonosis, while Palpatine is publically revealing the existence of the clone army. The citizens love Palpatine and see the hope that the Republic might win the war. The Jedi will also join the parade, with each Knight leading a battalion of clone troopers.
Preparing to be part of the parade, Anakin and Obi-Wan, for the first time in the story, have a heart-to-heart conversation, not a rigid Master-Student lecture. Anakin realizes he has been too reckless. His brash act of confronting Dooku alone costs him his arm and he apologizes to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan then gives some respect to Anakin, for he has successfully protected Padme. In a way, Obi-Wan and Anakin go through the opposite character arcs. Obi-Wan changes from someone who supports Palpatine and, as he discovers the hidden conspiracies, to someone who is now against him and his emergency powers. Anakin, after witnessing what Dooku has done to his mother, is now looking for blood and vengeance against the Separatists--staunchly supporting more authoritarian measures to fight the war. This change goes alongside Anakin's embrace of more radical emotions.
Before Anakin and Obi-Wan depart to join the parade, Obi-Wan senses love between Anakin and Padme. Secretly, Padme kisses Anakin for the first time (No marriage as it comes across as too abrupt at this point).
As the Jedi march alongside the clone troopers, Obi-Wan secretly discusses with his Masters in the line his finding that it was likely Dooku who ordered the creation of the clone army for the Republic. Yoda and Mace Windu warn them to not reveal this secret to anyone else. They discuss if Dooku is the mysterious Sith Lord (Maul's Master) they were looking for... or maybe Dooku is the new apprentice of this mysterious Sith Lord. If there is another Sith Lord, he could be residing within the Republic's power structure. They found themselves fighting another war inside the Republic.
Palpatine oversees the parade from the top, while the citizens of the Republic cheer. Anakin gladly pledges his loyalty to the most powerful Chancellor in history, while Padme watches the parade with visible frustration as her efforts to stop Palpatine's emergency powers have utterly failed.
I tried to keep the general story elements the same. I focused on fixing what was already in the story rather than discarding it. I fleshed out the characters to be more active and get to have more choices in the decisions. The politics are more integrated into the character drama rather than being in the background. The character arcs for Anakin and Obi-Wan are clearer, with the climax concluding each arc. Instead of Anakin and Padme hiding on Naboo and just playing the patty cake for half of the film, the story is more aggressive and focuses on the war itself. Dooku's concept is utilized to the fullest as he manipulates the Jedi from within and firmly establishes him as Anakin's arch-villain. Padmé falling in love with Anakin makes more sense because she sees how far Anakin is willing to go to save her, especially in the climax. Anakin earns her love, not handed out to him. The romance is constantly developing to the end.
The qualm with the outline is how Anakin finds Padme in Aldera. Dooku sends Anakin and Obi-Wan to Alderaan so that they can find her for Dooku, only for Dooku to go to Alderaan himself and torture Padme's body double to learn about where Padme is. Dooku sending the Jedi then becomes pointless anyway. Another problem is that Padme only meets Anakin at the midpoint, so she doesn't interact with Anakin all that much, and the relationship doesn't get enough time and development.
Aside from those issues, I found the final outline to be more satisfying and tighter in my Episode 2 REDONE. Maybe sometime later someone would do a full rewrite treatment based on this outline lol.

My LIfe Is Worth More Than 36 Apples I was am a sole from this point on. The moths of darkness just began a fetus in the woumb. Both mother and father have litle knolige of my existance my begening is heare hethy with nknone emosion untill I was sliced from my mother. My parents fell in love with me from the begening little did they know that tere was somthing wrong. It was not there falt I think that I loved them at that point to. I was dieing. My heart broken by imprefection that only flesh offers to the potentialy imortal relm of God placed soil named Earth. Spoler alert I servive otherwise you would not be reading this. One day out of my life I fely horible sick beyond what the doctors had already fixed I was dieing still alive but dieing why they “forgot” ( neglected) to tell my parents that I have a paralised vocla chord is beond even my ant’s comprehencion and she is a sergical nerce. What made them fear my parents? What made them fear so much that they could not tell my perents what hppened? I ask these questions so often that I wonder why I servived. That is when one day out of my life I felt amasing like God was truly there to witness me changing to somthing worth more than any dimond in the world. My parents kept me alive by questining the doctors did so little. My grandmother prayed so much I wonder how I survived. One day of my life I felt horible Thank the lord that I was not dieing my great gradfather was putt to sleap in his grave I now have a feading tube one year old no birthday cake for me. I gess that there is where my life chages yet again. I wonder how I survived. One day out of my life I felt Exuberant I am two years old ,Birthday cake ;-) Yay, my first ever the tube is gone. My parrents still wotty but they realy don’t have to any more until laiter. Gram is there. So is most of my family. I love my gram so much at this point I would taher be at her houce than at home there is so much I still have to live for. One day out of my life I feal loved I am at home having fun with my gram telling her stories that I make up as I go along. She loves me I know it in my heart. There are not enugh words, colors, and sounds to describe what I felt in this world at that moment for my little mind to wrap its gentle fingers around I am less than five years old so the only resion that I remember is a home movie. It is a wonder that I survived. One day out of my life it is near cristmass I could be five but I am not certan I thaught tis memory a dream until my mother told me the story. I was sick enugh that my parents thaught that I was dieing. I had an ear infection, pnumonya, and somthing elce my mother can not remenber. I wonder why I survived. One day out of my life I am still five and going to kindergaden I love to run around and hide out undeneath the slides if only I knew what the world was than I probabley whould not have kissed a boy on the lips so soon. I shold have knone that such an act as this was for the day of prom or highscool. I was definatly not ready for being in love, nor was I ready to kiss boys impishly under the that particular Emitsberg Elimentery slide. The boy’s confusion was so great that I belive he ither liked me or he did not know who I was to tell the teacher what had happened. Ither way I grew up way to quikly and at the same time to slowly for my mothers liking. I would barly clean my room thak the lord for her patince at this poit in my life, other wise I woder how I did survive. One day out of my life I was in first grade imaging what life would be like on the moon. I was listening to the teacher but I could not for the life of me was i being sent to lern how to read and wright when I already knew how to do both of those things. What where they thinking I neaded more help with math than with reading and spelling I could study those wordes and sentance structures. Why did they chose to give me exta practice in my faverite subject the only problem I had was telling lowecace B’s from lowercace D’s until a nice teacher taught me a trick invalving the word bed. Putt your fingers on your left hand so that it resembles a lowecace B than have your fongers on your right hand resemble a lowercace D place coth hannds together and make a bed B.E.D. that was somthing that realy helped it was so ingraind in my nogin that after just that one clarifacaition I had the difrence betwean D and D down pat. I read Juny B. Jones boks up the wasoo after that and most of my class was reading picture books that where to easy so I stoped reading them. I didn’t check out books from the scool library because I had books at home to read if I remember corectly. My parents sau that it was the comprehensin part I gess that I understood the book’s meaning but not the questin of “ How did the caractar change throughout the story?” silly me I putt ( this is acording to my mother) “The carictar did nit change throuout the story. There is no mension of her getting dresset,” I wonder how I survived. One day out of my life i am repeating first grade. I thaught that there where only two years of school I thaught that if i passed this year that i would not have to go to school any more nobosy told me otherwise because i kept the thaught to myself because i was so sure that I was corect that I did not tell a sole nor, angel, not even God, but I gess he knew that anyway even without me telling him. I gess that if God dose laph that he might have been lafing at me and I would laph with him once I came to realise my childish ignerance at the age of seven and a half. I realy do not know why I relised that particalar fanticy was falce but I gess that visiters from the fith grade shook that idea right past my young lips and took me from that faticy I was somhow living in at the time. As I wright this I am sitiosly remided of that anoying yet cachy toon of the Caillou theme song whn it said “ Growing up is not so tuff…” I would like to add to that paticular snippit by saying that being or fealing grown up is the hard part. Thank the lord I was still just growing up at this point otherwise I have no clue of how i would have survived. One day out of my life I learn that Gram is moving to West Bend I was so confused because I remember saying to her that “ we will live togther forever.” than she aked me with such a look upon her face that surly I had no anser to this “what if I move?” my anser to this of corce was “we will move to” I loved my grandmother so much at that point that I thaught that my parents not looking for a new houce was a betrayel of what was going on until... One day out of my life I find out that we are moving at first I thaught that this would remidy the we will live togerhher forever situaiton, but it just only remidied the if you move we move situaiton. This was just after I found out that we where moving from Airshire to Ankeny instad of to West Bend this is in ither late may or early june we are looking for a place to live we looked at some two story houces but we came upon this nice single story ranch it is a nice place to be but I wish that I did not tell the reliter that I “ felt at home here” honestly there where less pressing matters of where we would be going to school and how long it would take to move all of our stuff to the new place that I would have to call home but I never realy did in my heart Gram’s houce was my true home from that point on. It is a wonder that we suvived. One day out of my life it is june 16th my birthday I have just terned egiht years old and this is just the begening of when I have started to really pray and recognise what prayer is to me I don’t realy expect God to answer me at this point in my life becase I reay did not know that God could truly anser quite directly or even ask of you things. I just thaught that God knows everything so he realy should no have to ask but I gess that even God has set rules for himself in promisess and fofilment of priofficy. The idea is that we have free will and he wants to ask and not tell us to be with him in spirit and in mannor. Our actions not telling us yes or no but how we feal about those actins threw God tells us these things. Concince and temptaition those little caton figures angel and demon with that tridant ( not the chewing gum brand) and tail. Oh how I have survived. One day out of my life the start of second grade a new school and a new life I wish that there where more interesting things to take apart than a phone with an already broken circut bord smashed by a bou in my class if not for the surcut bord I probubly would have figured out how to putt it back together. How I wondered every day when I would get to take somthing apart and putt it back together, but everthing was altready taken apart and I neaded a more than a philups haid screwdriver to fix that phone what I neaded was somthing I had no ideah existed littlelone the fact that I was way to youn to even use a sodering iorn. The teachers still thaught that I was still to young to hold a pair of sisors even though I started using them in preschool. It is a wonder I survived. One day out of my life I am exited I get to learn how to use chopstickes in class wile eating popcorn we where not aloud to use our fingers. We where at the end of our china unit coloring the great wall with lopsided bricks that where supost to be a little lopsided. I was exalent at using the two sticks to pick up the popcorn the only problem was that I was holding them wrong but at least i did not nead a rubberband atached to the se sticklike utencels. Using my middle finger as a fulcrum and my pionter and ring to manipulate the top stick even until I saw the diagram and did so the proper way. How did I survive? One day out of my life it is nearing first comumyon this is my fist time tasting the wine so that Iwont makew a face if I did not like the way it tates. I thaught that it tasted horible even though I took a small sip as instructed. I did not make a face. How did I survive? Oneday out of my life it is first comunyon I take both the host and the wine this time I like it so much I take a big gulp and make a face. When my mother asked me why I took such a big gulp I told my mother that the whine “ tates better with Jesus in it.” my mother laphed so quietly only her ears and a few others herd her. I wonder how we survived. One day of my life I am now about 9 or 10 years old Great grandma took me fishing and taught me how to imbroider that night i could not sleap for some reason or another so I got out the cloth that I was working on and started stichin gI was so quiet that I thaught that I would sutly not wake her than again the light in the livingroom of her apartment could have given me away. She found me awake and unable to sleap soundly I was not homsich and usualy did not complain but the couch was a tad to cushey so I slept on the floor instad she thaught that I was crazy for sleaping on the floor instad of on the couch. It is a wonder that I survived. One summer out of my life I felt human I can not remember what summer this was but I taught my sister how to swim she wanted to jump into the pool and each time that se jumped I would take just a single step back evedently she lernd to jump quite far also because when she went to her first formal swimming lesson she kept taking off the floaty until she threw it so that the instructher could no longer reach it than when it was her turn to jum into the water she abot flatenes the instructer ling sory short she skiped a few levils. I wonder how the poor swim instructor is doing. It is a wonder that he survived my syster. One day of my life I rode my first rolercoster I was so exited that I could barly wate in line when we finaly got to the front of the lighn the rolercoster took us up and down I could barily understand why all the other peaple on bord where screaming eve mu unkle. When the ride was over I aslked him so tentitivly why where the other peaple skreaming? Than he told me “Because they where having fun” I still had no ideah

I am trying to make allergy labels, but the brands of ingredients I use consistently change and I set up a google sheet to combat this, where if i change the brand in my "pantry" column, it will update all my product ingredient lists with said ingredient. This has worked very well for everything except allergy info.
I make custom cakes so every order is different, how my process works is every recipe has a code I made, and i named the cell with their ingredients after that code. I then enter the recipe codes I used in that order into google sheets and it will give me lists of all the ingredients in each one.
I copy the ingredient list from the cell and paste it into an print out template I have in a Google Doc I already have filled with other information like weight and bakery address.
For allergy label laws, I have to bold specific allergens, i.e. milk, peanuts, eggs, etc.
Is there a way I can "tell" the doc "if you see this word (milk, eggs, peanuts, wheat, etc.), bold it"?
I thought I got a clever workaround with markdowns, and put two asterisks on both sides of the allergen words in google sheets, thinking that when I pasted it in docs it would automatically bold them, but nope, in order to bold them I have to actively type the two asterisks, it wont work if i just paste them.
I thought the markdowns was a good idea, and I'm wondering if there's a way to fix it not working when pasted.
Is there a way to do what I am looking for?

Have you heard of that saying about being the sum of the 5 people you’re most around? It always rang true but I haven’t realised it related to weight loss too.
2 years ago I was living in a different city by myself and was surrounded by people where most of them took care of themselves in one way or another; gym, healthy meals, supplements and other things too. Then I moved to be closer to family and they, as well as my friends from home became the people I interacted with the most. This circles normal was eating out, eating emotionally and overindulging. This became my template for the new “normal” and I just find it insane how much herd mentality we follow without being conscious of it.
Anyway, the changes slowly added up; an ice cream here, an extra slice of cake there, and my healthy cooking wasn’t enough to offset those treats. Now I’m up 7kg which is almost half the weight I originally de-fluffed. We’re all looking at these posts from different perspectives so this might be little to some and a lot to others but the joy of reaching your goal, the uncomfortable feeling of knowing you’re gaining but not feeling able to face it just yet and then finally feeling that wake up call of “It’s time to try again” - I think a lot of us go through that.
This situation is entirely of my own making but I do feel like the social environment I was surrounded by the last 2 years did play an indirect role in making the less-healthy behaviours easier and more socially acceptable. I guess I just woke up today finally ready to try again, think of it as an accountability post with a reflection of what made me stray so that you can be on the lookout the the social norms in your environment too.

See Previous Day 4 Here
See Following Day 6 Here
We still have a few days left before the Ender Dragon and Wither Fight, so what will the members do till then? Well I'm not sure myself but as we saw from some members yesterday, Pekora is cooking up something exciting! (looks like a kind of stage or arena of sorts), We'll have to see what she says today on her News Program. In the meantime we still have new members joining such as Okayu!
General Rules for the server. Written by Pekora in the rulebook, with some edits (NOTE: These rules by Pekora may go through some changes, please make sure to check today's Pekora News Stream for the latest information):

• If you die, its over (Note: Please see revivals below)
• I will write a diary after the broadcast
• Complete the mission
• Nether opening starts on the 16th
• The ultimate goal is to defeat Endora (Ender Dragon) and Wither
• About Survival Diary
  • Write about the events and memories of the day
  • If the content is good, good things might happen
  • Penalty will be incurred if there is no diary
• There are nether and recreational facilities
  • Nether opening date 5/16 JST
  • Recreational facilities 5/15 JST (Chinchiro)
• You are free!
• You may build a residence
• You can equip yourself
• Survive.

Additional Rules and Information:

• Currently (as of this writing) if a member dies in Hardcore and wishes to be revived, they can do so by going to their own Solo Hardcore Minecraft World, and collect 7 diamonds within 30 minutes (this time limit is very flexible and not enforced). They can only be revived once.
  • Subaru, Nene, and Haachama are now perma-dead
• Members won't be able to be revived after Day 7
• The server needs 2/3 of its online players sleeping for time to pass to the next morning.
• Certain events such as the Pillager Raid that happened yesterday will no longer be given a warning.
  • It'll also be more difficult going forward
• There's now a holoserver fighting tournament arena (Starting from 20:00 JST)
• You can now buy a death totem and 5 golden apples from Pekora for 200 diamonds

There are also missions for the server. There are two types: Global and Daily
Global Missions:

• Find a Western Style Mansion in the forest (basically find a Woodland Mansion) - 20 Diamonds
• Find a Jungle Temple - 20 Diamonds
• Find a Pillager Outpost - 5 Diamonds
• Obtain a Trident - 30 Diamonds
• Find Ruins (Most likely meaning Trail Ruins) - 20 Diamonds
• Find a Pyramid - 10 Diamonds
• Find an Ancient City - 20 Diamonds
• Defeat the Boss of an Underwater Temple (This most likely means the Elder Guardians at an Ocean Monument) - 100 Diamonds
• Obtain 10 different dye colors - Diamond amount unknown

Today's Daily Missions:

• Deliver Wither Skeleton Skulls (up to 3 heads, 100 diamonds each)
• Obtain Ancient Debris - 20 Diamonds
• Defeat 3 Piglin Brutes - 7 Diamonds

Streams:

• Noel (VOD)
• Flare (VOD)
• Pekora's News Stream (VOD)
• Koyori (VOD)
• Okayu (VOD)
• Lamy (VOD)
• Pekora (VOD)
• Aqua (VOD)
• Nene (VOD)
• Polka (VOD)
• Miko (VOD)
• Raden (VOD)
• Anya (VOD)
• Ollie (VOD)
• Watame (SC Reading)
• Azki (VOD)
• Kanade (VOD)
• Iroha (VOD)
• Moona (VOD)
• Kiara
• Kaela

Members Playing but not streaming today:

• Hajime
• Luna
• Subaru
• Suisei

General Notes:

• Done offstream, but according to Iroha's Tweet she built some facilities including a spruce log collection station, a cobblestone making machine, and a clay production facility. She notes that making clay isn't automatic like how its done on the Holo Server, but clay can be exchanged for emeralds.
• Lamy offstream made more torches and organized the iron at the iron farm
• Noel noticed the cake that Luna had made for Polka a few days ago. She read the sign and found it cute, some teetee.
• Pekora granted 90 Diamonds to the group who built the 2 iron traps (Iroha, Azki, Watame)
• Nene will be streaming as a ghost (and potentially helping out Pekora)
  • Nene is streaming as a ghost. She's in spectator mode and haunting members of the server. As of writing shes' haunting Aqua
• Flare today partook in Piglin Gacha, trading golden bars for certain items (there is no mission for doing this)
• Okayu now joins the server! Koyori is the first one to give her greetings and show her around the place. Aqua also showing Okayu around.
• Pekora announces a battle royale (BR) event at 20:00 JST
• Flare and Koyori learn about how the new bookshelves work, the kind where you can take and remove individual books from the shelves
• Polka now owes a Totem of undying (unknown if she acquired from Pekora or from the previous raid).
• The members are going to have an adventure in the nether together, with Nene watching over as a ghost (and hoping someone will join her) (see below for more info)
• Flare went to a village (looks like the one near Kaela's house) to do some villager gacha with farmers (trading food for Emeralds). And then more trading with the villagers at Kaela's house
  • There is also what appears to be a gravestone located just outside her house (most likely for Haachama)
• Anya went live and remaked on how shes sad she missed out on the BR fights and being able to gamble/bet
• Anya, Watame, Iroha, Azki, and Kanade are also preparing to go to the Nether. Anya is making cobblestone for pathways, Azki is preparing pails of milk, others are getting good armor and weapons.
  • Watame and Kanade were watching Anya make Cobblestone with the generator
  • An Iron Golem was summoned by the villagers. Iroha was able to kill it easily by using a bucket of lava.
• Ollie is happy that Kiara took the armor that she made for her.
• A grave for Nene was made by the Iron Farm. Nene, Polka, and Lamy all gather around the grave, asking for Botan to join them. The 3 of them end their streams afterwards.
• Koyori made a grave for Lamy by the Nether Portal. Its made out of Quartz blocks and surrounded by torches.
• Moona joins the server! Ollie screams in seeing she has joined the server. She immediately goes running to spawnpoint to greet her. Anya and Ollie and Moona yell each other names in the Minecraft chat. Moona notes she cannot read the Japanese text that's at the spawnpoint.
  • Anya and Miko come by to greet Moona at spawnpoint as well. Anya can't stay for long as she is needed with Iroha's group in the Nether, but tells Moona she can use her stuff in her locker.
• Ollie shows Moona around and they meet with some of the JP members. She takes Moona to the different Villager trading posts to get weapons, armor, and enchantments.
• Pekora noticed that at spawnpoint, the signs with the missions on them have English translations added to them.
• Pekora notes that they have 2 Wither Heads now and will need to get one more. The plan is to have The Wither Fight happen tomorrow.
  • Koyori got the final Wither Skeleton head with Iroha's Group. She went back to deliver it.
• Suisei logged on. She's doing some offstream playing. Sounds like she'll be taking over Polka's farm.
• Koyori is working on improving the potion machine.
• Iroha and Azki are helping out Suisei with improving the farm at Polka's place. There's now an expansion to the side of her house (behind the cows).
• Kiara mentions how when she was online off stream she saw Ina, who said she was off stream making a fishing house. Kaela also popped in as well and they commented how all 3 were online but not streaming.
• Flare gave Kaela a gift of 3 ancient debris, as thanks for her trading post. It just had a sign that said "Use me <3" and it was unnamed, but chat was quick to point out who it was. Kaela edited the sign to include Flare.
• (Tomorrow's Wither Fight will be at 21:00 JST)
• Kaela made an Ender Chest

Holo Fighting Arena (BR) Notes:

• Pekora today showed us the Holo Fighting Arena. The outside is covered with the heads of Nene and Subaru
• The Arena is currently meant for 1v1 fighting
• There will be a gacha to pull weapons. Members can also place bets on fighters to see who will win.
• Kiara, Flare, Raden, Koyori, and Okayu came by to place bets on the different members. Pekora placed bets too.
• Members who partake in these matches and die will return from the dead (they will not be counting towards actual hardcore deaths) (this does not apply to those who are considered permadead)
  • Shortly after the fights, Subaru and Nene were swiftly killed and are now ghosts again.
• Raden is providing some fun commentary for these fights.
• Current Participating Members:
  • Nene
  • Polka
  • Subaru
  • Koyori
  • Aqua
  • Audience Member (Okayu)
• Matches (Winners in Bold):
  • Koyori (Netherite Hoe) vs Polka (Iron Sword)
    • Round 2: Koyori (Golden Sword) vs Polka (Iron Sword)
    • Polka WINS
  • Nene (Golden Sword) vs Subaru (Golden Axe)
    • Round 2: Nene (Golden Axe) vs Subaru (Stone Sword)
    • Round 3: Nene (Golden Axe) vs Subaru (Golden Axe)
    • Nene WINS
  • Aqua (Wooden Sword) vs Audience Member - Okayu (Iron Sword)
    • Round 2: Aqua (Iron Sword) vs Okayu (Stone Sword)
    • Round 3: Aqua (Netherite Hoe) vs Okayu (Wooden Sword)
    • Okayu WINS

Nether Adventure Notes:

• Members of Nether Adventure Group: Pekora, Lamy, Aqua, Okayu, Miko, Koyori, Polka, Nene (as ghost). Flare and Raden joined the group later.
  • A bunch of the members got Hot Tourist Destination Achievement
  • The group are at the Nether Fortress (the same one Miko's group went to yesterday). They are here to get Wither Skeletons and Blaze Rods
  • They're generally split into a few groups: Aqua and Pekora; Okayu, Lamy, and Koyori; Miko and Polka. Nene is watching switching between the different groups.
  • Lamy died! While in the nether fortress she fell in lava and was unable to get out, resulting in her death. She's now a ghost with Nene watching the group in the Nether.
  • Polka fell into the lava just outside of the nether fortress. Fortunately she had a fire res potion on her so she didn't immediately die. She was able to climb out of the lava and get back into the Fortress. Miko in seeing Polka was laughing.
  • Flare and Raden met up with the group later on. Both of them also got Hot Tourist Desination. Miko was there to greet the two.
  • Polka died! She accidentally hit a zombie piglin, which attacked back and killed her. While she did have a totem on her, it got used up and was only useful for a few seconds. The zombie piglin kept on hitting her afterwards, resulting in her death.
  • So far they have found 1 skeleton head (i think by either Aqua or Pekora). Pekora put it on to wear for fun.
  • Flare is busying working to get blaze rods
  • Due to their poor luck in getting more wither skeleton heads, Pekora went back to get a drop up rate enchantment (That would be Looting 3)
  • The group temporarily split off due to the pillager raid that had occurred. They're all working to refresh their supplies, with Pekora get Looting 3 for their swords.
  • Pekora and Aqua went back to the Nether to try again in getting Wither Skeletons. The rest of the group then went off to do their own thing.
• Iroha's Nether Group: Iroha, Anya, Watame, Kanade, Azki, Hajime. Koyori joined up later.
  • Iroha gives the group a briefing of what to do in the nether. What they are to expect and how to deal with the Wither Skeletons safely.
  • The group venture into the Nether. They are forging their own path instead of taking the ones members have already laid out. They're doing their best to make sure the path is safe for the group.
  • Various members of the group received the Hot Tourist Destination achievement
  • The group have entered the Nether Fortress and have met up with Koyori who is trying to get Wither Skeleton Heads. She's now joined the party.
  • Kanade while burning fell out of the fortress and fell into the lava. She had a totem and fire res potion on her. The Totem was activated and as she tried to escape the lava, the fire res potion ran out. She was able to get a new potion on her at the last second, letting her survive with a few hearts, and calmly get her way back to the fortress.
  • The group got the last Wither Skeleton head needed for the fight (it was Koyori).
  • The rest of the group are currently getting Blaze Rods
  • After getting Blaze Rods the group is now heading back home.
  • They got back home safe!
• Kiara, Ollie, Moona's Group
  • The group will be doing missions for Moona. Apparently yesterday's missions can also be completed today. They will also try and get Ancient Debris.
  • The girls will use beds to explode and try and get Ancient Debris. Good Luck
  • Flare passed them by and gifted Kiara and Ollie some Fire Res Potions
  • Before getting Ancient Debris, they will help Moona with the other missions.
  • The group complete a few missions
  • Moona died! As they were trying to defeat ghasts, Moona accidentally hit a Zombie Piglin. She tried to escape but too many came to swarm her and she was defeated. Ollie and Kiara gathered her supplies.
    • Moona will take the batsu of collecting 7 diamonds in a solo server in 30 minutes (this time limit is loose and flexible and not enforced)
  • Ollie and Kiara went and killed 2 ghasts so Ollie can complete the mission. After that they went to head back since Kiara needs to get new gold boots soon.
  • Ollie and Kiara decided to go and get ancient debris on their own. They used the TNT strat and got 3 Ancient Debris. Kiara got 7 more totaling them 11 Ancient Debris (4 were given to Moona, 4 to Ollie, and 3 kept to herself).
  • Moona meanwhile finally got 7 diamonds, completing her batsu. Pekora went and revived her (and gave a few pieces of meat)
• Flare's Solo Adventure
  • Flare exploring the Nether on her own. She went and got at least 3 Ancient Debris.
• Watame, Kanade, and Anya
  • The group are exploring the nether together. They're currently on the hunt for ancient debris. All of them have obtained at least one Ancient Debris. They're doing this by simply digging through The Nether
    • Both Watame and Anya have 3 Ancient Debris each.
• Kiara's Solo Netherite Adventure
  • Kiara in the Nether managed to get 19 Ancient Debris in her 2nd trip.
  • On her way back (cause she ran out of TNT), Kaela logged on. Kiara asked about Kaela having a Netherite Template but Kaela never went to get one in a Bastion (shes too afraid too). Kiara wants Kaela to get one so she can duplicate to help get Netherite Armor
  • Kiara while mining Quartz to heal her pickaxe accidentally fell, but she survived on a few hearts. She went back home after her pickaxe broke.
  • After fixing her pickaxe, she went back into the nether one more time to get the last debris that she wanted. In total she got 21 Ancient Debris. After this, she went back home. She also gave one Debris to Kaela.
    • Including the Ancient Debris she gave to Ollie and Moona, she got a grand total of 29 Ancient Debris.

Pillager Raid Notes

• Suddenly Pillager Raid! Pekora mentions this would happen without warning. (This happened at 23:00 JST)
• Ollie joins the game as soon as the raids starts, so she wants to head into the action (but is fixing her VC mod first)
• Pekora sends a message about the raid so everyone else in the Nether are heading back to join in.
• There's some iron golems around to help out with the raid. Also apparently a villager died, there was one wandering around.
• Phantoms have showed up along with the raid, since its now nighttime.
• Apparently Polka is a bit upset that no one has died in this raid yet.
• The raid is complete! And no one died in the process! Now for everyone to sleep so the Phantoms can go away.
• Those who participated in the raid (only Ollie didn't join) got a discount on villager trading.

Today's Death List:

Hololive Member	Cause of Death	Revival Status
Yukihana Lamy	Fell in Lava in the Nether Fortress	Chose to not revive
Omaru Polka	Slained by a Zombie Piglin	Cannot be revived
Hoshinova Moona	Slained by a Zombie Piglin	Revived

Hi everyone,
I was let go from my graphic design position today, I had to call my boss because she called me on my off hours. She was very enthusiastic when I started interviewing and working with her and her lead designer. My boss wasn’t the lead designer she was the business owner but I was to report to lead designer.
Before I got hired I was asked to do a “creative evaluation “ and I had to make promotional materials for some event coming up. First red flag for me.
When I was hired she was letting me know that she really enjoyed my work but then she started asking me to design the front of house area. Not like flyer or promotional material, like the fixtures in the bakery. She was confusing at times, and the lead designer and I were talking and the lead designer said that she doesn’t think that the business owner knows what she’s looking for or what she wants
My last day was yesterday and I was asked to provide my templates I’d made. The last designer was there apparently a month, I asked the cake decorators why he left and they said “creative differences” but yeah.
Now I’m hurt but I’m trying to figure out what I do now in terms of looking at design jobs. I don’t have a degree in design but I’m trying to finish my degree so I’ve been taking on multiple jobs.
How have y’all dealt with clients who might not know what they want? What are some of the red flags to look for in job postings? I feel like most places seem so good on paper and they’re not. How long did it take for y’all to find a job you enjoy?

Scenario: you're creating a new site from scratch and want to rank highly for certain keywords that your customers will likely search for.
Instead of doing traditional keyword research, what if you just looking at sites of highly successful competitors in your geographical area (which already rank well) and use a similar keyword density but with completely different actual sentences?
For example:
Suppose you have a cake shop and the #1 organic search result uses "wedding cake" 15 times, "lemon cake" 5 times, "new york city" 7 times (etc. etc.) If you were to use a similar keyword density for those same terms but with completely different actual sentences, what would happen?
I'm guessing keyword density only makes up a small part of a site's overall score and the lack of things such as backlinks would lead to an overall much lower score, but do businesses ever use competitors' sites as a sort of keyword template, to help guide them to better SEO scores?

Recently, I saw a post regarding how a WB/NBCU merger would be better than the Disney/Fox merger (and honestly, I agree! I'd take the WB/NBCU merger over Disney/Fox and ESPECIALLY Sony/Paramount the latter of which would likely get punched in the face by anti-trust laws since Sony owns Columbia/TriStaScreen Gems).
Anyhow, one question I had was "How would a Universal/Warner Bros. merger affect Cartoon Network and its sister services (Boomerang, Adult Swim, Cartoonito, Toonami, Discovery Family, and now, Universal Kids)?"

• Cartoon Network - For our main network, Cartoon Network should return to an all-ages animation network, focusing on primarily modern shows with (most) older shows being on MeTV Toons. Any older show not on MeTV Toons can air on Cartoon Network as a nighttime block replacing Adult Swim. I was also thinking that CN could strike a distribution deal with WildBrain to air
• Adult Swim - Due to NBCUniversal already having NBC Sports, Adult Swim can easily replace TruTV. Impractical Jokers could move to TBS or E! while Adult Swim could take over TruTV's channel slot to become an all-day service. Toonami can air either only on Saturdays (taking up the entire day) or daily as a nighttime block akin to Qubo Night Owl.
• Cartoonito - In this setting, Cartoonito would replace Boomerang due to the channel losing relevance with MeTV Toons and Cartoon Network's Latenight lineup. The Cartoonito shows on MAX and the TV-Y shows on Universal Kids could also move to Cartoonito as well.
• Discovery Family - For Discovery Family, I'd say sever ties with Hasbro and rebrand it back to Hub and make it teen-oriented as a transitional network from the 6-11 KidsCo and the 21+ Adult Swim. Hub would target a 12 to 20 audience and would focus it's programming lineup on primarily TV-PG and light TV-14 content such as Unicorns, My Adventures, The Loony Tunes Show, Adventure Time, Steven Universe, Regular Show, Bob's Burgers, Home Movies, ACME Night, Sitting Ducks, She-Ra, The Amazing World of Gumball, Total Drama, Mobile Suit Gundam, Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball, Digimon, The Flintstones, Space Ghost, The Simpsons (provided they get the rights from Disney), The Powerpuff Girls (1998 and Z), and possibly Tamagotchi if Warnerversal is willing to produce and English dub of it. of course, with Discovery's involvement, a few live-action shows such Cake Boss and Too Cute, and a few Xploration Station shows (no HMPG/Litton shows as they're everywhere) as well as Superman and Lois, saving the show from The CW and it's Arrowverse-infested fingerprints) could also serve as additions to the Teen-focused network.
• Universal Kids - Universal Kids could become Warnerversal's primary kids channel becoming KidsCo. KidsCo could target as I mention, the 6-11 audience (compared to CNito's 2-5, Hub's 12-20 and AS's 21+). KidsCo would primarily base its lineup off of DreamWorks with Teen Titans Go! moving from Cartoon Network.

So TLDR:

• Cartoon Network - All ages animation network.
• Adult Swim - Becomes 24/7 and focuses on Adult Animation.
• Cartoonito - Also becomes 24/7 (with MeTV Toons replacing Boomerang) and focuses on preschoolers.
• Hub (formerly Discovery Family) - Focusing on Teens and Young Adults.
• KidsCo (formerly Universal Kids) - Focusing on kids (6-11).

How does this sound? Let me know in the comments! Feel free to share what you would think is the best for you in this scenario.