I’m a Brooklyn college undergrad student. A few months ago I applied to the undergrad general scholarship and the other day I received an answer, but the scholarship they said I received is a grad student scholarship meant for students in international affairs, and I am none of those. I applied for a scholarship meant for students who did service to the school. There was also supposed to be a link on the page where we were meant to write a thank you letter to the donors, which I don’t have on the page. I don’t know what to do, I haven’t gotten an answer to my emails to the scholarships office, probably because the semester is over.

Demographics:

• Male
• East Asian
• High-Income (several million)
• Best public high school in MA

Intended Major(s):

• Economics
• Political Science

Stats & Test Score(s):

• GPA: 3.65/4.0
• Class Rank: None
• Skipped a grade of math
• SAT II: 1560 (CR: 760 and M: 800)
• Note: I took more APs than the ones listed below, but they're not related to my major.
• Relevant Coursework: AP Comp-Sci A (4), AP Calculus AB (5), AP Statistics (5), AP World History (4), AP US History (4), AP European History (5), AP Psychology (5), AP Macroeconomics (5), Dual Enrollment Economics Ideas and Issues, Intro to Econ, Marketing, & Entrepreneurship

Extra-Curricular Activities:

• DECA: Placed second in the Massachusetts State Competition; qualified for ICDC
• Mock Trial Club: Founded the first Mock Trial Club at my school; coordinated club annuals, budget plans, and lessons for every meeting; partnered with a board member of the Harvard Law School Mock Trial Association
• The Stock Market Game: Ranked 34th nationally out of 600k participants; conducted research and identified investing opportunities in stock markets; increased overall portfolio from $100k to 170k in the span of a few months
• Varsity Swim: Was selected as a captain; designed and organized specific group exercises, aiming for consistent attendance from all swimmers, especially beginners who had very little interest in the sport; developed detailed practice sets to strengthen and condition based on my personal success on different high-ranked club teams and experience with well-known coaches
• Internship: Worked directly under a former state senator and current ambassador; completed tasks devoted to helping American schools gain the most proficient learning about US history, marketing, and presenting newer, more modernized techniques to create a diverse community, like campaigns; published an opinionated article in a notable journal

Letter of Recommendations:

• School: Counselor (9/10), APUSH teacher (9/10), and English teacher (8/10)
• Supplemental: The CEO of the corporation I interned for, who knows me very well (9/10)

Additional Note(s):

• My grades were mediocre in both 10th and 11th grade, so my guidance counselor agreed to write an extremely detailed explanation about my struggles and rough circumstances.

College(s):

• I'm mostly reaching for T20 universities. My sister attended Harvard University.

This idea came to me in college and I've sort of played around with it over the years. I would appreciate any constructive criticism, especially focused on the prose and characters. This would be the introductory chapter of one of the main characters, Karl Klug, who is an important noble in his country. I hope you enjoy!
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KARL 1
Three men stood beneath a great oak branch, hands bound and nooses pulled tight around their necks. The branches connected to a mighty tree, old as the mountains themselves. The men were all silent, as were the other corpses gently swinging in the morning breeze. The air was still cold from the dew, not yet banished by the still rising sun.
“If you have anything left to say, now would be the time.” Karl Klug, Lord of the Wald said as he eyed them with disgust from the back of his chestnut horse destrier. He sat tall in the saddle, his close cropped brown hair and clean shaven face a far cry from the ragged appearance of the condemned. His heavy, black, woolen cloak was pulled tight, the hood up to block out the wind. Under the cloak he wore a simple brown doublet, with a crest bearing the black tree on a green field that was the sigil of his house. Karl always made sure to represent House Klug when acting as Lord, as was his duty.
These men were thieves, rapists, and murderers. They attacked travelers on the roads of the Wald, and it was Karl’s duty, as Duke of the Wald and Lawspeaker to the King, to keep those roads safe. The law demanded only one punishment for their transgressions. Their fate would serve as a warning to other would-be bandits.
The first man, a stern face and hard eyes, said nothing, but spat on the ground. The second man, fat and whimpering, managed to speak out in between choked sobs “Please m’lord. Mercy! They made me do it!”
The last man, a boy no older than fifteen, barked at him to be quiet. “We’re done for Ozzy. Go to the Wainman with some dignity, would you?” Such bravery in one so young. What could he have become if he followed a different path?
With that, Karl nodded to Jorivs, his household Resolver, who pulled hard on the ropes, them each one by one into the air, sending them kicking and choking into the Beyond. The second one, Ozzy, screamed and begged for his mother before the rope cut him off. Jorivs tied the final line off to a stake, while Wolter, his barber-surgeon companion, scribbled something down in a book. “They go to their doom in all different spirits, yet they all dance the hangman’s jig just the same.” He said as he turned a page.
“Amazing the lessons they teach at Spierpont.” Jorvis chuckled as the last pair of legs stopped kicking. “Shame Lemba couldn’t join us.”
“The Elf has seen his fair share of death. Let him enjoy his peace.”
“I only jest, my lord.” Jorvis said as he took a sip from his canteen. He motioned for Wolter to take a drink, but the older man was too busy furiously scribbling in his notebook to notice.
Karl looked to the east. The dawn was still cresting the horizon. “I’m off to the woods. I will not be disturbed.” Matilda and the children will still be sleeping. Best not to wake them with my return.
His pages nodded and replied in unison “Yes my lord.” By Karl’s standing order, Jorvis was peeling the boots of the dead men, better they should shoe a pauper than rot on the condemned. Wolter sketched the hanging men in his book, taking special care to note the lolling tongues and soiled breeches. Jorvis had the boots in a loose pile when he pulled a knife and a small pouch from his belt. “The eyes,my lord?”
He nodded grimly. “Hain will have his due.” Jorvis took a small stool and set to work, all six organs removed in a few quick flashes of the blade. Jorvis placed the grim package in its usual place on Baldur, Karl’s horse. With the bloody sack tied to his saddle, Karl rode off towards the thick forest nearby, a page in tow to hold his horse.
The page started to speak, and then stopped himself. He was a small boy, ten or eleven at the most. He had been to several executions before and not once had he been troubled by the sight of death.
Karl noticed the indecisive boy and helped him along.
“Something bothering you, Wiglaf?”
“The” came a squeak. Wiglaf cleared his throat and tried again. “The Resolver grumbles, lord. He grumbles that it would be easier to take the eyes before hanging the condemned.” He said meekly
“I know he grumbles. I know. But this is the way things are to be done. Taking their eyes before they hang is not the punishment for their crime. These men had their trial, and I sentenced them to die, not to be tortured. Do you understand, Wiglaf?”
“Aye, my lord. I understand.” Wiglaf nodded.
Wiglaf. So eager to learn but so nervous to offend. I’ll talk to his father the next time we meet.
This was the first time in months he had a chance to take in the forest. The influx in banditry in the past year had been a great source of woe not only to Karl, but to the Waldish people as a whole. They had enough to be fearful of without their fellow man adding to their problems. It had kept Karl up many nights, as he racked his brain trying to figure out the cause.
He had built roads, sick houses, held fairs, endorsed the Bard’s college, done all in his power to keep the people happy and content and quiet, and yet, there were some who still turned to crime. Why? No. Not now. Not here. Karl decided that he needed to rest his mind from constant affairs of state, and allow himself to relax before he made his offering.
They reached a clearing, and Karl dismounted. “Hitch up Baldur and rub him down. Have something to eat from my pack if you get hungry. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone this time.” The page nodded. Wiglaf, a good lad, if a bit timid at times. Weather had concealed his typical path into the great forest, but muscle memory lead his way.
He enjoyed his solitary walks in the woods, it gave him a chance to forget the woes of rulership, the frustrations of fatherhood, and the horrible curse that befell his bloodline. Now that things had quieted down with the bandits, Karl hoped he might have more time to be a husband to his wife, Matilda, and a father to their children. His three children, though nearly adults themselves, still tended to make a commotion. What they need is a firm hand. Their mother will spoil them rotten if she has her way. Karl laughed to himself. She always gets her way.
His feet knew where he was going, even if his mind did not. He always returned to the same place, no matter what direction he turned. Are the woods themselves magic, or just the creatures that inhabit it? He wondered as he found the well worn dirt path covered by a tunnel of tree limbs. The branches must have kept this clear from storms after all.
Few who entered the Wald came back alive, save for the Elves and their slaves, who usually came out in one piece. Most who walked too far past the tree line simply vanished. There were rumors, of course. Even his own grandfather had claimed that he was, in fact, the same Helm Klug that had vanished without a trace in the winter of 542. He had fallen through a tree hollow and into the myth shrouded realm of Cunnan, where time flows differently, or so the stories go. As such, though ninety-five years had passed from the time of the vanishing, Helm had only aged ten years or so.
Karl’s realm was a dangerous one, even without the recent rise of the highwaymen. To an outsider, walking alone in the duchy of the Wald was like strolling past a dark alley with coins jingling loudly. To Karl Klug, Lord of the Wald, it was like walking into his own bedroom. He had grown up here, he knew that danger lurked behind every tree, above every branch, and below every root. Not once had he seen anything like what Grandfather Helm had rambled about. No fairies or witches or traces of Hain. Still, one had to tread carefully here. Even Karl would not dare to venture in some parts of the forest, for an ancient force still had power in the dark parts of Bordrim.
I hope Hain will be pleased with my tribute. To survive here, one had to know when to fight, when to run, and when to submit. Some might call that heretical, going against the word of the church, But that was not something he wished to think about now, not when he was trying to be at peace.
The fresh air cleared his head and refreshed his spirit. Karl took a long, deep breath filling his lungs with the cold morning damp. He knew he would not be distrubed here, as none but the Duke of the Wald may travel to this part of the woodland.
He had been Duke ever since the death of his father when he was just four years old, though he had not ruled in his own right until he was fourteen. In that time, he had learned much from his regents, and his mother, who was far more capable than many made her out to be. She had taught him that most men, however pure their intentions may seem, nearly always had some ulterior motive that they wished to advance. Karl remembered that as his most valuable lesson, and it had assisted him greatly as he came of age. My father’s sycophants did not last long when I ruled in my own right.
The sound of rushing water came to his ear as he walked by the River Cember where his father had drowned. He used to intentionally go out of his way to avoid being near it, but now he barely gave it a second glance. I used to be so afraid of the water, until I understood why Father died. But by then, Mother had the Court Elf Lembe throw me in Sillac Pond. How I thrashed! It didn’t seem so scary after that. Fate is far more terrifying than any danger and far more comforting than any joy. Once you have been through the worst, everything else can be done with ease.
Karl heard a branch snap in the trees to his right, and his hand slipped to the silver coated dagger at his hip. He stood still as the trees around him, slowly moving his eyes from right to left as he looked for the source of the noise. Funny. I was afraid of harmless water for so many years when there were very real threats all around me the entire time. As long as I stay on the path, no beast would dare harm me.
There were no further noises, and judging by the humming of insects and the singing of birds, there was no real threat. Probably a stag or maybe one of Grandfather Helm’s Fae creature having a laugh at my expense. He continued walking for some time, climbing up small, rolling hills and ducking under fallen tree trunks, before reaching a final, gentle incline which led to Hidden Hill. That was where they found his older brother, Jasper, hanging from the tree at the top. That was the day his father had told him about the curse that stalked their family.
He made his way up the slope, as he had countless times before. The top of the hill was clear, save for one tree, planted by Karl’s grandfather Helm upon regaining control of the Wald after decades of Gaunt rule. His family adopted that tree, and made it part of their heraldry. A great black tree, sounded by the green of the forest.
The air seemed to resist being pulled into his lungs now. He had to unclench his teeth, relax his shoulders. He looked down at his fingers. He had scraped away the flesh near the nails on his thumbs and middle digits. How long have I been at it this time? It is difficult to relax when I am surrounded by some many painful reminders of the past. No matter how deep in this forest I walk, I cannot escape the memories that tears at me.
He kept his eyes low. Karl enjoyed seeing the blooming flowers and vibrant weeds that grew along the path he always walked. One particular group of plants caught his eye. A clover patch. The old folks said that in every clover patch, there was one particularly special sprout. And so Karl made a point to look over each and every patch he saw, even if only a passing glance.
What’s this? He said to the tiny green sprout as he crouched down for a closer look. A clover with four leaves. Lucky, lucky. Karl smiled as he plucked the clover and put it in his coin purse. And a good omen too. I know Otto will love this.
Karl continued up the path, and sat beneath the great black tree, looking out onto the castle that stood proud below in the clearing. Grey Hallow, it was called, and it was among the oldest in Bordrim, predating even the great fortresses of the Empire that many great houses now called their own. With two rings of thick, tall walls and towers covering every angle of approach, no enemy had ever successfully stormed the walls. Though a knife in the back is sometimes better than a ram at the gate, as history has proved.
Karl grabbed the now wet sack that Jorvis had provided. He quickly found a small knothole and stuffed the grisly offering side. The Dule clasped his hands together and bowed his head. “Haim, please take this offering that we may know quiet peace.” He sighed. Was Haim even real? Or just another story to make obedient children?
As Karl reclined in the unearthed roots of the black oak, he smiled. *Real or not, offerings to Haim aren’t all terrible.*This was the tree that he had married Matilda under, after he came back from the Siege of Hammerring, the last remaining Imperial stronghold in Bordrim. He had made a fortune by securing the ransoms of important Imperials, bringing House Klug from the embarrassment of near bankruptcy to extreme wealth in a single day. He had spent coins like a drunken gambler blessed with immovable luck that night, and from then on men had begun to say he was the richest man in the kingdom. I don’t know about any of that. But riches aren’t just measured in gold. Karl thought as he ran his fingers along the black bark of the tree.
Searching through the leather pack he took from his saddle, Karl grabbed the cloth that held the dried venison and cheese he had carried along for his breakfast. The castle will just be coming to life now. He thought as the sun began to climb higher in the sky. After he had broken his fast, he pulled a quill, a tightly sealed ink pot, and a piece of parchment from his sack. He began to write.
“Your smile, a joy
Your laugh, a pleasure.
When we are together,
Troubles are light as a feather.”
Karl would have a servant hide that among Matilda’s things, where she would discover it later. Even after fifteen years of marriage, Karl loved to create these little surprises for his wife, just as she loved finding his cumbersome gifts and clumsy poetry.
A long, steady drumming sounded over the tops of the trees, booming from the direction of Grey Hallow, but far beyond. In the west, birds squaked and scattered to the wind. By the cadence of their beat, Karl knew it was the Elves, come to pay their respects and receive letters of safe passage as required by the Pact. A little earlier than expected. No matter. I prefer early to late. No doubt my Chamberlain, Aldred, will have everything prepared. Karl sprang to his feet, dusted off his trousers, and rolled the dried parchment. He followed the path back to the castle at a quick pace, humming a song his Bard had sung the previous night while they slept under the stars.
The day had well and truly begun upon his return. Servants wearing the green and black of his house dashed about as their duties required. Men stood guard wearing the Great Black Tree of the Klugs on their livery. The halls were alive with chatter and the scuffing of feet. Karl knew a long line of petitioners awaited him in his hall, but everyone knew that an audience with elves took precedence over the squabbles of men. They had all heard the drums, and they would be pressed together like bees in a hive just for a glimpse of the pointy eared outlanders. Every year, young elves Elves embarked on a great journey that they called *THING* or “The Taste” in the Imperial tongue. They spent anywhere from one to one hundred years living among the mortals, learning their ways and customs. Some spent the rest of their millennia-long lives among the mortals, watching dynasties rise and fall, technological marvels stun the world, and should they be unfortunate enough to make friends or find lovers, they witness death on a scale previously unimaginable.
Lemba is due to return home by the end of the year. After seventy years of service to my family, he’s earned his rest. Perhaps one of the newcomers would like a position at court. I would very much like to continue my lessons. Karl flexed his fingers at the mere thought of magic. Outlawed in most realms of men, Karl had insisted on instruction. The training was hard and the consequences if discovered by the Church would be dire, but in a land as dangerous as the Wald, every advantage counted.
The drums boomed, growing louder as the elves approached closer. I must hurry. I cannot insult them by wearing the same clothes I just wore to an execution. Karl jogged down the path from whence he came. Wiglaf was holding Baldur by his reigns, and he snapped to attention the moment he saw Karl approach. “The drums my lo-”
“I heard. Ride ahead and have your father prepare clothing for court.”
“Right away, my lord.” The page said as he galloped away. Karl followed at a quick but more relaxed pace. No sense in appearing sweaty and exasperated for my guests. He reasoned as he rode down the winding path.
His servants were waiting at the gate for him. They grabbed their reins from Baldur, and Karl climbed down from the horse. “Andred has selected your clothing, m’lord. Right this way, if you please.” Onna, the fat seamstress said and she beckoned him to follow. She led him to the laundry, where Karl pulled the dirty articles he had worn for the execution and picked up the courtly clothing she had laid out. He pulled the white linen tunic on first and fasted it was a leather belt inlain with a large silver buckle. His slipped into brown wool trousers next and grabbed a pair of light leather boots. While I won’t appear filthy in front of my guests, high fashion is not something I care to waste my gold on.
Karl sat in his finely carved chair on the dais at the end of the hall. It sat to the right of an identical, but smaller chair where his wife sat*.* She wore a black and green dress with a modestly cut v-neck which exposed her pale skin. Her golden hair lay in one long braid along her shoulder. and her piercing blue eyes smiled back at Karl’s own green. This was the women he had fallen in love with the moment he first spoke to her. She had been less convinced, at first. While he had been the highest born of her many suitors, he had not been her first choice.
“I thought you were boring!” She would tease him later. “You barely said a word the first three times we met.”
“I was nervous.” He would reply. “You captured my heart and my wits that day in High Hibaltia.”
“Well, that wit is what won me. Perhaps I just borrowed it for a time.” She smiled.
Cleverness, justness, kindness. These are the things that make me love you.
The couple held each other's hands as they looked over the court. The chamberlain, Aldred, was quickly giving some last minute instructions to his son and another page, and they immediately scrambled to their work. Guards stood firmly at attention in front of the doors, knowing that they would be facing a hallway full of eager onlookers at any moment.
Their three children stood to the side, talking amongst themselves. Grimbold was the oldest. And doomed to die young, as my brother and uncle have. He was tall, taller than Karl even. He had the arms of a blacksmith’s apprentice and Karl’s own brown curls. He shared his mother’s sky blue eyes and slender nose, as well as her quick temper. He’ll want more responsibility soon. I’ve already denied him a squireship. Perhaps a minor position at court would assuage him.
Next to Grimbold was Charlotte, their only daughter. She too had Karl’s curly brown hair, but she wore it in a long braid, like her mother. She was just like Matilda, in fact. They were both skilled with numbers, and Charlotte’s fascination with bards rivaled Matilda’s own obsession. The two of them often pleaded with Karl to hire this performer or that one, and Duke Karl Klug, Lawspeaker of Bordrim, would not resist his girls, especially Charlotte. She had just turned fourteen, and would be expecting suitors soon. I doubt any of them would be worthy of her. The two of us share a thin patience for stupidity and love makes fools of us all. Especially this false, courtly love the Pawley’s have been peddling these last centuries.
And then there was Otto, the youngest of the three. He stood in between his brother and sister, obviously uncomfortable and being talked over. Nervous and shy, Otto had trouble making friends with children his age. He got along well enough with Wiglaf, but the two never actively sought each other out for play. Probably waiting for the other to make the first move. Karl thought to himself.
“Otto!” Karl yelled. The boy snapped nearly to attention. “Come here, lad. I have a surprise for you.” The boy warily came before his parents.
“Close your eyes and stick out your hands, Otto.” Matilda gently urged.
Otto did as he was told. “Karl dug around in his coin purse and pulled out the clover and a gold coin. He placed the two in Otto’s open palm.
His eyes beamed just before the rest of his face lit up. “Is it real?” He asked as he squealed at his gift.
“Just found it this morning. I figured, with you as my son, I already have all the luck I need.” Otto grinned wide, his missing baby teeth apparent in his otherwise toothy smirk. “Now, with that coin, I want you to find a book that we can read together. Would you like that?” “Yes, father! Yes, yes!” Otto exclaimed, almost shaking with excitement.
“Now get back to your place. The Elves will be here soon.:
“Yes, father!” Otto slipped the clover and coin into his own purse and hurried back to his siblings.
Matilda leaned over and kissed Karl on the forehead. “You’re a good man, Karl Klug.” His mind raced back to dawn, and the creaking of ropes. “I try to be, my love.” He kissed her forehead back. There was a commotion behind the doors to the hallway. It started as a low murmur, and then grew in size, becoming a roar of excitement.
Lemba, Karl’s tutor and resident Elf, took
The Elves had arrived.
Two figures, hooded in dark crimson cloaks, approached the dais. Less than a quarter of what I was told to expect. Behind them were six large, muscular, green skinned orcs bound together at wrist and ankle. Less than a tenth of what I had prepared for. Some Orcs had obviously suffered wounds in the recent past, black blood welling up through tightly wrapped bandages at shoulder, scalp, or thigh. Karl knew from past experience that were these wounds even a slight inconvenience to the Elves, the Orc would be killed with no more pity than lame donkey.
The two cloaked figures marched in a praticed cadence as they moved towards the Duke and Duchess. They all move like that in this room. Is it tradition? Or something more calculated? Lemba, can you enlighten me?
“In due time.” The elf’s voice answered in Karl’s mind. “For now, let us see who has survived the journey.
Karl cast a quick and silent spell to identify the travelers, his only tell was a twitch of the nose, which may have been mistaken for an aborted sneeze.
Viksna and Piske Dun Beske, twin siblings of a prominent Orhani family. Lemba leaned and whispered into Karl’s ear. “The youngest children of a powerful family of sorcerors. T
“Viksna and Piske you illuminate my land with your presence.” Karl’s voice boomed across the hall. It had been so long since he had shouted without magical amplification that he wondered if his throat could even yell anymore.
The two outsiders removed their hoods and stood with clasped hands and bowed heads. Their hair golden, their ears pointed, they were both of a similar height and build, shorter than most men in the room, and Karl could tell they were thin even under their robes.
“And you honor us with your hospitality, Lord Klug.” The pair said in unison.
“You’ve arrived sooner than expected. Was your trip pleasant?”
“We ran into some trouble with monsters, I’m afraid.” Piske said, matter of factly.
“ They devoured quite a few of our slaves.” Viksna added. And of course, the Shadow King must have his due. Our traveling companions were not to his liking. We two and The six Orcs you see behind us are all that is left, I’m afraid, out of the seventeen souls we departed with. Ah, yes. The older races call Haim by his title and dare not refer to him by name. A superstitious bunch, the Elves.
Three slaves for each of us is hardly fitting.” Piske scoffed.
“A shame. I will see that they are tended to. And my servants shall make up for your deficit. See these creatures to their quarters.” He ordered with a wave of his hand.
Guards cautiously herded the six chained beasts on the points of spears, but the broken creatures simply did as they were told and offered no resistance, not even a scowl. They were broken in mind and spirit, they simply existed to do as they were told. Even still, they looked as if they could crush a man’s skull without much effort, and so the guards insisted on caution. I cannot say I blame them.
The instant their slaves were gone from the room, the elves both went down to one knee, each pulling a small bundle from their cloaks. In unison they spoke. “We have come to pay tribute to the Lord of the Wald. Bordermaster, River Watcher, Upholder of the Pact. We offer these small tokens to you, Great Lord.”
Karl pushed up from his seat on the dais and walked towards the pair, gesturing them to stand. This well rehearsed speech never fails to delight my courtiers. “You have left your great capitol of Orhani to live amongst the lesser lived. You have endured freezing cold and driving rain. You have crossed river and mountain, field and fell, and traversed the Wald itself. You have fought beast and monster and seen many things that Man fears in his dreams. You have lost friends and companions along your way, and for that, you have our sympathy. However, all is not lost, and these deaths have not been in vain. You have proved yourselves worthy of fellowship through your very deeds. I bid you stand, as friends of Men.” The two figures stood, pulling back their hoods as the ritual demanded. They both looked as beautiful as painted godlings, young as if in their prime, though each must have seen a hundred years come and go.
The two approached, stepping slowly, deliberately, in unison to the dais where Karl sat. Piske stepped forward, leaving his sister still as a statue with her bundle still in her hands.
“For you, my lord. A gift.” He bowed and handed the package to Karl.
“Thank you, Piske.” Karl exchanged a rolled parchment for the gift. The container was small, and light. It could have been empty if Karl did not know better. He pulled the string holding everything together, and opened the paper wrapping. Inside was a ring, small and green, with all manner of beasts carved intricately on the sides.
“This is remarkable, Piske. You have my thanks.” Karl said as he turned the ring over in his hands. He spied an eagle, a fish, a rat, and a bear amongst the throng of creatures on the metal.
Piske looked to Lemba, eyes practically screaming for help. Lemba chuckled to himself for a moment and then cocked his head in Karl’s direction.
“May I approach, my lord?” the Elf asked in the elegant Elvish tongue, hands out stretched. Karl nodded his approval and he came forward. Piske leaned forward, taking the ring from the Lord’s hand and slipped the emerald ring onto his own left pointer finger.
“This ring is rather...peculiar, my lord. Observe.” The Elf cleared his throat and began to shout “Will one of you fellows come out? We’d like to make introductions.”
A heavy silence, followed by quiet, confused muttering amongst the onlookers. Then a shriek came from the rear of the crowd, growing louder and closer by the second.
That’s when it appeared before Karl’s eyes. It came forward at a run. Sharp claws, huge black eyes, and jagged yellow teeth.
“The ring summons rats?” Karl answered in Elvish in between laughs.
“Or maybe it makes the wearer forget his manners.” came a perfect Elvish reply from the rat. Karl’s eyes shot wide. Bhalik’s Maw. Did that rodent just speak? He regained his composure and looked around his court. Everyone was staring up at him. Had they all heard too?
“They can’t hear me, you big oaf. Only the ring bearer can.” Karl glanced at the green band around his finger. “My name is difficult to pronounce, but for the sake of simplicity, call me Ymaut. Piske tells me you have a rather large network of informants. How would you like to expand?
“We’ll discuss another time. Thank you, Piske. You honor me.”
Piske bowed. “Of course, my lord. My sister has brought you a gift as well” gesturing to his companion. He stepped back to take her place, while Viksna approached, bowed and held out her tribute. The thing she brought was bigger and heavier than her brother’s gift. When Karl had finished unwrapping it, he understood why.
“A Grimoire.” he said quietly.
“May I approach, my lord?” Karl nodded absently as he flipped through the pages.
Viksna whispered. “I am told you enjoy practicing magic. I would be happy to teach you, if you’d like.”
“This is too much to trade for a mere letter of safe conduct. Anything in my power to give you is yours, if you but name it.”
Viksna thought for only a brief moment. “Should there be an opening for a position in your court that I may be suitable for, I would like to enter your service.”
Lemba is leaving my service, to return to Outland. If you would care to remain here and assume his role upon his departure, I would welcome the company.” Karl said as he struggled to tear his eyes away from the book. That will be all for today. My servants will show you to your chambers. Should you want for anything at all, you need only ask and it is yours.”
The two bowed low. “You honor us, my lord.” the two Elves said as one. As they slowly walked from the hall, Karl’s Chamberlain, Aldred, whispered in his ear. “My lord, Sir Vanya has come to charge Baron Stevers as an oathbreaker. My duty calls. Karl thought, the grimoire still open in his hand.

Demographics: Female, Asian, Northeast, Public
Intended Major(s): BME
ACT/SAT/SAT II: 1590 (800 M/ 790 EBRW)
UW/W GPA and Rank: no ranks, 3.96 UW
Coursework: AP/IB/Dual Enrollment classes, AP/IB scores, etc
honestly this might be my weakest portion, haven't really challenged myself in comparison to others at my school because I didn't care about maxing out classes but am decently off, gotten a couple B's though
School doesn't allow many AP's but offers AP equivalent classes- only actual AP junior year is bio
got all 4's sophomore year- ended up in a hospital for rest of the year the day after my last exam so kinda have an excuse??
have taken a lot of online courses for skills for internships/personal projects, well-versed in MATLAB/ Python
Awards:

1. USABO Semifinalist

2. Science Olympiad- ~16x top-6 placements across all tournaments + 2x top-10 team in state

1. FRC- captain + winner of regional competition + alliance membewinner of NE District, 3x World Champs Qualifier
   
2. DECA- Top-6 in state, ICDC qualifier but didn't attend (biotech-business intersection)
   
3. AP Scholar w/ Distinction 😭 not really sure what else to put- could spread out my scioly awards??
   

Might get an award from my school so other option there? Also might start a quiz bowl/ Brain Bee offshoot from scioly next year? probably get an award from that
Extracurriculars: Include leadership & summer activities
President of Science Olympiad- pretty big commitment, raised 10K+ for club through fundraisers + sponsorships, lead STEM workshops to boost membership 300%, started middle school team w/ 45 members, 3x executive board member (12th-pres). Past two years have been the first time we've ever placed in the top-10 for state.
FRC- head of mechanical subteam, selected for design and CAD committee. Responsible for integration of all assemblies into competition robot, drive team all 3 years + lead of strategy/scouting
Summer Intern @ BME Mechanobiology Lab- no paper or anything, revamped a cell-stretching device with arduinos etc. to be more precise and easy to use + designed/fabricated an updated mold to create wells that cells would be seeded onto and stretched in the device- used solidworks/matlab to design and test, got 300% greater usable area
Consult at elderly homes to create low-cost medical devices for members that have issues due to symptoms of aging/illness. Helped 60+ people with custom 3D prints (wheelchair mounts, etc) / simple devices e.g automated dooblind opener
Carpentry- have local shop where I create custom furniture/ decorative pieces, ~ $2000 made
Soccer - 8 years of club + 4x varsity starter. Also referee and coached youth team for 2 years (200ish volunteer hours?), got them from 2-6 to 8-1 record
Religious group- student mentor to 40 kids, weekly meetings teaching them about it. more impactful than how I'm writing about it, but don't really feel like expanding.
2nd Internship- not really sure what I'm doing this summer, lost focus and didn't lock an opportunity down + fumbled all my summer program apps- will figure something out though
Puzzles- write puzzles for school newspaper and am a huge fan of them- have a 4 year streak on NYT Crosswords for reference, also some competitive cubing records.
not super impactful ec's:
Treasurer for nonprofit branch at my school, organized fundraisers to raise $500 for books for schools in Malawi.
DECA- don't really do anything for it, just show up and compete? Have participated in fundraisers for it to help w travel costs, not really anything other than comp awards
Student Council- don't do too much this either, but am on it and occasionally run an event for it
also shadowed at a Biotech company for a couple weeks but didn't do a lot, volunteered at a bunch of random things for hours for NHS, do a lot of odd jobs (lawn-mowing, tutoring, basic handyman stuff, etc),
Essays/LORs/Other: Optionally, guess how strong these are and include any other relevant information or circumstances.
no clue- asked my best options for rec letters, english teacher and I joke a lot, hopefully shows personality, bio (scioly advisor too) shows accomplishments? I feel like I have some pretty good ideas for my essays that connect to my story and spike, we'll see what the actual result is
Schools: List of colleges, ED/EA/RD, etc
my ed's are stressing me- currently like gt, duke, and jhu -> duke and jhu offer ed1, jhu offers ed2, gt only offers ea. I like jhu the best but would be really happy at duke too, do I ed1 hopkins or ed1 duke and ed2 hopkins??
JHU/Duke - ED1
CMU/JHU - ED2?
GT- EA
Bing or Stony Brook - EA
Boston University
UPenn
CWRU
UIUC
UMich
Cornell
Northwestern
also need help with the early/regular divide for applications and suggestions/swaps for the list please!!

First time applicant and wanted to double check if I should get Inferfolio, I've heard a lot of good reviews.
However, I saw on MSU's website that: "The Office of Admissions can only accept letters of evaluation submitted through the AACOMAS application letter service."
Does this mean they won't accept letters from Interfolio? Would my profs/Doctor need to submit both on interfolio and AACOMAS?
https://osteopathicmedicine.msu.edu/future-students/why-msu-college-osteopathic-medicine/admissions-requirements

This year I feel like I just gave up. I'm class of 26 sophomore and my grades were AMAZING freshman year, I got out with straight A- to A+. However this year I've just been so bad at everything, I have so many A- and B's which isn't the worst thing to happen I guess but I feel so guilty and sad because I did so much worse than freshman year. I have an insane amount of late assignments and I don't think I can ask any of my sophomore year teachers for letters of recommendation in the future. I feel like I did my worst this year, my grades are relatively awful and I haven't been involved in any EC's except volunteering at a tutoring center. I'm scared for my future and how this year will affect my college applications. Do I have a chance of saving my grades and making myself look better if I do better junior and senior year??? I'm really scared and I'm panicking, the year is almost over and I barely have room to get good grades.

My sister and I graduated college recently and our parents hosted a joint party. I went to school out of state, so it was my first time being around family and friends in a while. Growing up my sister was much more community focused and she was always known as the kinder and more present sister.
It was a great party and my parents’ friends were very generous. After a few days at home, I went back to my new home. On a weekly FaceTime call, my family happened to catch me while I was writing thank you cards. I had gone to a local stationary store and bought cards to mail thank you letters. On the call my sister asked if I was attaching her name to the letters, to which I told her I had not. I wasn’t doing this to be malicious, she talked about thank you letters when I brought it up when were together. I thought she would mail letters of her own, but apparently she threw the checks out after she deposited them, so she did not have the addresses to mail letters.
Since our parents’ friends were generous and both gave us our own checks, I feel as though it would only be right for her to write her own letters. My parents sided with her saying it was selfish to leave out my sister, given it was a joint party and it would take no extra effort to add her name at the bottom. My parents are even suggesting I reopen the sealed letters and add her name before I mail.
EDIT: and since I’m out of state she was heavily involved in the planning and coordination of this party. She feels as though the least I could have done was to add her name to the thank you letters.

Hey all!
Im applying for a bunch of ME (Automotive) jobs soon, and have been completely revamping my cover letter, resume, and portfolio. I am a Junior in college with Managerial experience, but nothing that correlates to ME. I live in an area where ME auto jobs are abundant, but so are applicants who have already completed college. My “edge” seems to be that I have been working on CAD programs since early high school. It’s always been a fun thing to me, as opposed to work, so I am pretty familiar & have experience with a bunch of the programs (CATIA, AutoCAD, Inventor, Solidworks, Shapr3D). How can I stand out from others when applying?
My current portfolio has:
•1x GD&T drawing (small fabrication part)
•1x Large Assembly (Full V6 Engine & components) with rendered images
•1x Moderate Sized Assembly (Basic Vehicle Model) with full Animated Video & Environment
•1x Moderate Sized Exploded Assembly (Hydraulic Excavator Arm)
Thanks for any advice!

So I move to Philly to start my new job July 1st. I don't start actually working until August 7th because of training/ practicum but I will be receiving a good stipend for June and July to make up for the transition. Will I be able to finance a used car if I have prove of the stipends and my income letter? This will be my first car and I have not been able to finance because I have worked part time while in college with a good amount of student loans but I really hope I can get a car by July for my move. Maybe it would be smarter to take my situation to a bank/ credit union and get an auto loan that way? Lmk if you have any suggestions words of wisdom lol. :)

I have decided to pursue my 19 year long dream and attend law school to begin my second career. I will be a nontraditional student, having just retired after 20 years with the NYPD. My GPA and LSAT scores aren't the best (3.74 GPA and 155 LSAT), but I am hoping that my softs, personal statement, letters of recommendation, and additional essays will be enough for Fordham.
I am particularly drawn to Fordham because of their Brendan Moore Trial Advocacy Center. I have been fascinated with trial lawyers since my introduction to their world as a rookie cop 19 years ago and throughout my career.
My GPA isn't stellar because, quite honestly, I was a terrible student with a bad attitude and undiagnosed disabilities (ADHD and a reading disability) resulting in a GPA of 2.3. However, this is where my story begins. I withdrew from college two weeks after 9/11 and, four weeks later, I was in the Army. Upon returning, I joined the police department, where I served in plain clothes, SWAT, and rescue teams. I was promoted to detective and, rounding out my career, I spent the last six years as a teacher at the police academy. I taught over 40,000 members of the department in various curriculums that I helped create, including updated use of force policies, self-defense/grappling/jiu-jitsu, room clearing, weapons manipulation, and de-escalation techniques.
Throughout my career, I decided to finish my degree, transferred schools, and raised my GPA from 2.3 to 3.74. With all this information, I am reaching out specifically to nontraditional students and administrative personnel to ask: what are my chances? I am certainly willing to network, meet people, and write additional essays or anything else to bolster my chances. Any advice from nontraditional students or administrative personnel would be greatly appreciated.

Hey everyone. I find myself feeling a bit overwhelmed by the sheer volume of information available regarding law school admissions and preparation, I don’t even know where to begin. I’m looking for any advice, recommendations, encouragement, or anything helpful anyone has to offer.
I’m 29 years old and employed full time. I have been contemplating applying to law school and advancing my education for several years. I have finally decided to apply for law school for the fall 2025 school year. I realize now I’m a bit limited on time with regard to LSAT prep, but I am very motivated and diligently preparing.
There are a few things I’m concerned with as I analyze my situation. My undergraduate GPA is not particularly desirable. I graduated in 2021 with a 3.2 GPA. However, I experienced several mental health issues at the end of high school and into my early 20’s. I ended up dropping out of college in 2015 after my second year in school. My GPA showed a sharp decline in my first 2 years of undergrad, with a failed final semester and a 1.9 GPA. I returned to school in 2019 after receiving treatment and therapy (which I continue with now). I petitioned the university to retroactively withdraw my spring 2015 semester from my transcript. My petition was approved, and the failing grades were removed. This helped my GPA and confidence tremendously. I finished my final 2 years in undergrad from 2019 to 2021 with excellent grades, and I made the Deans List 2 out of 5 semesters (I took a full course load in summer 2020). Anywho, I fear my GPA will hold me back as it’s not a true representation of my academic capabilities. I’m unsure how I can compete with outstanding GPAs I’m seeing in this forum and in my research in general.
Another concern of mine is regarding letters of recommendation. As mentioned above, I’m employed full time and I’ve been with my company for 7 years. I am a certified auto subrogation arbitrator, and I have nearly 5 years experience in this field. I feel my work experience will provide a solid foundation for a legal career. However, my employer has a policy against allowing supervisors or managers to write letters of recommendation on behalf of their employees. I have already begun to push back on this. I’ve met with both my immediate supervisor and center manager, both are on my side and ready to help me plead my case to HR and upper management. My fear is our efforts won’t pan out in my favor, and I will have to justify why I could not obtain a letter from my supervisor. I’ve spoken with an admissions advisor at one of the schools I intend to apply to, he was very frank in saying it would be a major red flag on my application if I was unable to produce a letter of recommendation from my supervisor.
I hope to be able to overcome these obstacles but I’m in need of help on where to begin with the application process, and how to achieve excellence in regard to the LSAT and personal statement so I have something to set me apart. I apologize for the ramblings, but I sincerely appreciate any and all input and guidance.

hello !
6 months ago, around late December last year i (19M) met a girl (18F), through an app that is used to send letters to people around the world, i downloaded that app because i felt lonely and needed to talk to some random strangers, i didnt really have someone over there that i talked with regularly except this girl, she sent me a letter, we had things in common and we started exchanging long letters, each letter would take half a day to get delivered.
as we started to get along more, around early Feb she gave me a website that we can talk with a webcam, we talked there, watched a movie, she is really pretty and we always had something to talk about, i always had this insecurity that i am really bad at socialising but with her i feel like i can always talk about something and never make the conversation dry. then she told me if we can talk on whatsapp so we can real-time chat, and then we started chatting there, every few days we would chat for a couple of hours, always fun, every week or couple of weeks we would face call and just talk about random stuff, obviously i had feelings from the start but i decided to wait a bit to know her better and vice versa.
i think i told her how i feel around Feb/late Feb something like that, she told me she wanted to talk in face call and so i did, we talked about it, my feelings, she asked what did you like about me and i answered and we talked about stuff around that, she then said she also liked me, she liked many things about me and she thought i was cute, and sorry i forgot to mention the most important part, she lives a content away from me !
after we both knew we had feelings for each other, i said maybe we can just wait and see how things turn out, the distance is a huge problem, she said she would not mind moving away after finishing college, which is almost 4 years from now, we still arent really "dating" but we both like each other.
we get closer, we chat almost every day and she makes me feel loved and valued which is always what i really just wanted in life, thing is, sometimes she would take "time alone" which i understand and respect her alone time, she did it around 2-3 times before, she would tell me before and just disappear for a few days, i obviously was not thrilled but i also would not go on and tell her noo !! i leave her be and we would talk again, tho when she does that, my mind would say all sorts of things like "she doesnt value you enough for leaving you for some time!!" but when she gets back i usually forget about them all. It also what I assume it starts to cope automatically, saying she wasn't even that good or whatever which I don't like it just feels rly disrespectful lol.
maybe something important i need to mention, around 3.5 years ago, my best friend left me because i was very low energy, i was depressed and always wanted to hang out with him to feel better but i guess it was exhausting for him, we never met btw it was all online and playing games together, he decided to play with other friends, i tried to ask him to hang out for a month straight and he always said no sorry, i then stopped sending and he never sent me anything after, i was almost alone for 6 months but i had a mutual friend who i was not very close with, but i still talked with them every couple of days tho i was just not as connected and missed my best friend a lot, he eventually got us back together thro the old group, he genuinely apologised which was whatever but he is my current closest friend, he is really great and very understanding and just really a great friend who is there for you and not afraid to express how much you value to him.
back to the girl, as we were on the usual routine, i noticed one day that she was replying late and dry, so i assumed it was one of her "alone time" it has been like this for around 6 days without contact, so i tell her is everything okay ? she said yeah i am just stressed and busy, which she is, she is having her finals soon, but i did not like that she did not tell me, i dont like trying to guess out of her energy if she wants to be alone or whatever, i told her that, she said she doesnt just notify everyone, and "it is not an issue", i said that i do not want to guess everytime something similar happens, she said well im just not available right now.
it has been around 12 days last time we had an actual conversation, and i get feelings of i guess hate towards her, i just dont feel valued enough, i know she is stressed, but to go from almost everyday talking to 10 days no contact ? i really dont know, it makes me feel like it would not really matter to her if i am not in her life anymore, which like i said i just want to be valued, am i being selfish ? obviously i can not control my emotions but is it not good to be like that ? i also obviously has not told her because she doesnt wanna talk but what if she messages me back again, i really am not sure what is the best way to handle it, i would like to tell her about how i felt, but i might seem childish or overly attached or something like that, and i also would not think it is good to just continue normally like nothing happened and bury those feelings, i dont know what to do really. I know she likes me, she has said it and shown it, but with this I kinda begin to doubt it more with each day, i saw her retweet a post saying "I don't like it when guys say you're gonna save me or complete me, I'm just a girl who wants her own peace" which made me feel like shit.
I just really don't know what to do about all of this, i don't want to hate her but I can't help it I guess.
she has mentioned she is an avoidant-attachment personality which is something i dont raelly get so i am trying to be understanding but it is hard, i realise that i am dependant on others for my happiness, i have realised that 3 years ago, i have always tried to fix that by hobbies but i still very struggle with. Sorry if you have already seen this post, I didn't really get replies and I wanted to hear from someone about this situation, maybe give me clarity, I've been too stressed with other things and I want to put my mind to rest.

This is long as I can't attach photos of screenshots of texts. Copies of the text will be at the end of the post in order.
This has slowly been building up since we moved in together last summer, but has made itself more obvious and apparent since earlier this spring.
Some context, we've been friends since freshman year of college (2017) and kept in close contact and would visit each other even after they transferred to an out of town university. I am from a northern part of the US and they are from overseas and was a foreign exchange student in their senior year of high school prior to our freshman year. Lets call them Leo. We got along almost immediately because I knew very beginner levels of their language and a lot about their culture through programs I've participated in before. So, if they had trouble communicating something in english, they would often just look to me and tell me to explain cultural questions to the best of my ability. They've lived and stayed in the US for basically 8 years now, so their English is fluent and have had no problems getting jobs.
In early 2022, I had agreed and signed a lease to move in with other friends I had that lived down south. Everything was already settled and paid for, I was just waiting to move in after I completed a summer job I was contracted to do. I was 23 at the time and it was my first opportunity to move out of my parents, so I took it despite how far away it was and would save up for the move. Not even 2 months before the move, my friend Leo texts me if we can chat. They ask if we can move in together soon, and that they want to proceed living our lives together. I told them about me already moving and they were fine with that, and we planned to somehow move in together as soon as possible after that. In summer of 2023, I moved back up to the northern US to live with them in a 1 bedroom until the lease was up and we could move into a 2 bedroom. They helped foot the bill of the move since I was struggling to find any work that paid decently down south despite my best efforts. I was working 2 jobs and could barely get $1000 a month because of lack of hours (retail). We are now in a 2 bedroom place and have been for half a year.
That context out of the way, I am in a situation I can't financially just get away from, and feel stuck trying to work this out, but I'm not sure how.
Leo has asked me since last fall that they needed space and didn't want to talk to anyone and to be alone. I agreed, however it's been like that since and that rule only seems to apply to me and none of their other friends. We also agreed that a lot of our communication would be done over text as it's easier for the both of us. However, how they talk to me is horrible. It took me a while to realize it, but I finally stood up for myself over text and even waited for them to be out of town for the weekend to send it as I knew it would start an argument. This is not the first time they have talked to me like this, I have many other texts to prove it, however I'll be posting the most recent which happened this last weekend.
My friends have seen more than these texts and have told me I need to move out immediately. I can't. One of my jobs has recently stopped scheduling me, and my other job is part time and can't even pay for bills. I have no savings, live paycheck to paycheck, and try to live under my means, but things always pop up that need finances to be put towards.
What do I even do going forwards if Leo thinks it's okay for them to talk to me like this?
Extra: This is the first time I've stood up for myself like this as I'm not confrontational and always pick the path of least resistance. I even had my friends help me type up an initial response because I was trying to make sure I was making my point clear and concise and so they would realize that I didn't want to be talked to like that. Though this conversation worked itself out in the end, what was said and how it was said throughout is still unacceptable to me.
p.s. when they talk about space issues in the apartment, they literally have an electronic pipe organ (6" x 6") and marimba in our dining room. My stuff fits in my room expect 3 bookshelves and 2 bins in the garage.
Texts:
Leo: Deal with those lights and plate set. Sell em. Didn't realize how much you're hoarding in the garage until I went to grab my suitcase. There's already two large bins full of your shit which we'll go thru soon.
Me: All the stuff you brought in were shit my parents brought and I didn't know what to do with besides throw them away. I didn't ask for them. I wasn't hoarding them Literally 1 bin is all of my christmas and halloween decor combined, and the other is sentimental clothes and halloween costumes I do not wish to get rid of. It's already been thoroughly sorted through
Leo: Not doing anything with whatever's in the house is also hoarding. You're basically making that my responsibility to deal with when you're the reason they're here. Even when I asked if there's anything to sell you said there's nothing else when these are literally sitting in the garage like it's none of your biz.
Enough of blaming and excusing, just get them sold along with the hard drive. You'll make decent money if you just overcome that fear.
I have heard enough of your excuses like "I've already gone thru ..." Or "it's just XYZ ..." when it turned out it be a complete junk pile. So we are going through them. You already had boxes of sentimental stuff in your room. If you wanna have a room full of sentimental items, get a storage space. We'll sort out again and toss ones that don't have any values.
I'm trying to be reasonable with you with how we are allocating spaces. But it feels that you don't seem to think too much besides just hiding and tucking em away, which doesn't fix the real issue.
Like let's think realistically and strategically so we can be reasonable to each other. This isn't really it.
Me: We can be two separate people with two separate ways of living. I understand being realistic. Since leaving (city) I don't buy much that is without utility since I have moved so much. It fits into the space, and yes, it was reasonable of you to ask me to downsize what I had in here for more space.
However, I will be clear now, I am not doing something just because you pressure me to. I'm not doing something to make you happy while putting undue stress on myself.
I am more than happy to accommodate solvable, reasonable requests. Getting rid of the shit I didnt ask for that my parents randomly brought two weeks ago is a reasonable request. I thought that storing two bins, which we discussed before, was a reasonable ask.
Furthermore, I refuse to let you keep talking to me this way. It's degrading and hurtful. No matter how right you may be, it's not how I deserve to be talked to. I have been biting my tongue to keep the peace, but it's become obvious that the more I let you talk to me like this, the more you feel it's okay to do so. You always tell me to watch my tone of voice, and I think you should do the same.
You ask for me to leave you alone and not talk to you at home, I do so. You'd rather text than talk, I can do that, too. You want me to go and do other things so you can have your safe space at home. Fine. I'll do that, too. This house is not a safe space for me. I'm constantly walking on eggshells around you. If I need a safe space, I leave to find refuge somewhere else. This is not safe nor healthy for me to constantly be in this mindset of fight or flight. Just the sound of your footsteps or a door closing makes my anxiety spike.
I've been working with my therapist to navigate this, but I need you to work with me, too.
And before you say you have been working with me, you really haven't. You've been telling me what to do, ignoring what I say, and doing and saying whatever you want. That's not helping me, that's controlling me. I don't want to be controlled. I don't deserve to be controlled. I want to have a conversation with you that doesn't lead to blaming or just telling me to suck it up. We don't have to see eye to eye, but I think I deserve the bare minimum of respect as an adult human being.
Leo: I take no joy talking to you in a commanding tone nor get happy to make you do things. I'm stating this very clearly that the only reason I talk in such way is because you have asked to speak clearly and concisely. I can go on and on persuading you to do something yet you'd get more confused and shut off. It's unfortunate that you don't feel the townhome as your safe space. Idk what it'll take for you to feel that way, but I never asked you to be cautious around me. I only asked you to be reasonable. Did you ever ask me to do something so that you feel safe? How can I help you with anything when you don't ask me anything and just go defensive. Don't you dare to think that I haven't been working with you. I've gotten a lot more understanding since last year. If I see you make a mess, I clean up. I see you put away household items in a cluttering manner, I put them back the way I want without saying anything. I ask you respectfully if I need something from you. I have been careful not to be overly unreasonable with organizing and other stuff. None of these rules are for me to be happy. These are rules you should have learned from your parents and your friends. As I mentioned, I am running out of patience to be your guidance. And if you keep making things that need guidance repeatedly, I can't help but lash out. People say good parents never yell at their childlre. Well 1) I'm not your parent and 2) Im never meant to be a good parent. You didn't ask me to be your parent - but then act like it. It's so stressful. I have had many roommates before you, and you are definitely not the one who's hard to live with. I will continue to speak respectfully and reasonably. I frankly don't see anything rude or invasive of what I said last night. I read again twice and I demanded what needs to happen at the reasonable level. You did nothing about those lights and extra shit your parents gave and acted like it's my responsibility to deal with, which btw is like 10th time happening. Yet I stayed calm and ask you clearly and reasonably. If you found that disrespectful, then I'd say you're being defensive. Let me know what I can do to help you feel home and safe. I can accommodate anything if it's not hoardering or cluttering. If you think me telling you to do the housework is the reason you feel unsafe home, then that's your issue to work on, not mine.
You might be tempted to say all of your friends and therapist say I'm the unreasonable one - of course they will. All my friends and therapist say you're the unreasonable one. So don't even bring that up. I'm exhausted you accusing me of that too.
Me: My friends and therapists have never said you're the unreasonable one. They've only said and reiterated that I've been more than willing to be flexible and change my perspective, but that I am not getting that back and that I deserve to be heard with the same amount of understanding.
Also, I'm not just telling my therapist my side, I'm showing them our chat logs. I was always defending you, saying that you're factually correct and that I'm the one needing fixing for my faults and burdens I constantly put on you. However, they were concerned how often this gets brought up and wanted clear examples, so now I show them our entire conversations from both sides. I ask you to do the same with your therapist and friends. I give you all of my consent to do so.
I'm also not speaking about the chores and the things we do unsaid to each other, because that's not the discussion I'm having with you right now. We are talking about communication.
Language used: "you have asked" "you'd get more confused" "unfortunate that you don't feel" "I never asked you" "did you ever ask me" "you don't ask me" "don't you dare think" "rules you should have learned" "you keep making things" "you're being defensive" "thats your issue"
A summary: 'you asked for this' 'well you never spoke up about these things before, and you get defensive when I speak to you'
I wonder why, (Leo). It's like I don't feel safe talking to you because it always gets turned on me as a way to justify your words because you feel you're in the right no matter what.
Some conversations aren't about who's the most factual because emotions and morals are always at play.
I don't think it's unreasonable that you want to explain your side, that things could be done better, but I am not being talked to that way. Making a clear statement and control are 2 different ways of communicating.
I need you to look up apathetic listening, and I need you to not keep putting the blame back on me just because I've decided to speak up.
Leo: I will look up what that is. I do think I get defensive with you too. Below is me venting. These words are something that would have not happened if you were more proactive. It's always my responsibility and all my decisions to make and you are only there to help but not to take in charge and as I said many many times I'm so fucking exhausted. You act like an adult if you don't want to be talked to. I'm not your mom. Like how many fucking times? This would have not happened if you just dealt with your shit on your own. It's obvious I'm going above my boundaries to yours so you get shit done yet you get upset and lash out on me which in turn I blame you and I take no regrets for that, because it was your fault. Of how many arguments we had in the past was my fault? You are so scared that you can't even take a small blame.
Speak up and tell me whatever. If you feel if it's not fair, you are free to say however you feel. You may feel that I'm always right because I speak realistically and you speak emotionally. At the end, if we agreed on something then that's what we both feel comfortable, so don't blame me for controlling you or something. I did my part to persuade. If you felt that was not fair, then you did not do your part to persuade me. I also don't see any problems with the languages used there. Like what's even the problem? You are not even stating the problem clearly. Like are you expecting me to be more empathetic and send you long ass Victorian letter or what?
Me: "You may feel that I'm always right because I speak realistically and you speak emotionally"
That's your perspective, and there are multiple sides to this, not just yours.
"It's obvious I'm going above my boundaries to yours so you get shit done yet you get upset and lash out on me which in turn I blame you and I take no regrets for that, because it was your fault."
We can have 2 different paces to get things done. It's okay to ask me to do things you don't like, however you going out of your way to make your problem my problem, is not my problem. Seek therapy for that, don't unload that onto me.
"I did my part to persuade. If you felt that was not fair, then you did not do your part to persuade me"
It's not my job to persuade you my stance every time we talk. I can't persuade someone who does not want to see another side and only convince me to agree with them.
"We are talking about communication"
"Some conversations aren't about who's the most factual because emotions and morals are always at play."
"Making a clear statement and control are 2 different ways of communicating"
My statement is that there are better ways of communicating, and just because you're able to express yours more often doesn't mean the way you handled it was correct.
Leo: We have many arguments. If you're not expressing yourself, how are you expecting us to move forward in a way that's fair for both of us? You have to speak up. If it's just once or twice, I agree that we don't need to and we have not been doing so. But for examples like your room organization, speak up. What would you have done if you were in my shoes and you were trying to get things organized? I see your point with perspectives now. I will find better ways to handle that. It's hard to have conversations with someone when they get defensive, and that's my problem with you. I speak definitively because I feel that you are not understanding the main point. When I see your texts, I analyze what's happening and what made you say so and try to understand why it is that way. And those comments are made from my own conclusion. That does not mean I think that's a definite truth. Like in legal argument, it's nothing personal but factual speaking. If there's a refute, I am willing to listen and accommodate. However, I believe that issue was me speaking definitively made you feel invalidated or ignored when I was expecting to hear your sides, not how that made you feel. I am unsure how well I will be trying to adjust that tone, but in the meantime understand that me speaking that way only means that I am promoting my opinion and I want to hear what you think, not invalidating your sides or other possibilities. Even this paragraph is definitive, and I'm not sure how I'd word it better. If you feel that this isn't working, let me know.
Me: I accept this response.
You are still pushing blame, and I believe that me telling you I was afraid to talk to you should've been a reasonable response to your question on why I haven't spoken up before.
I'm setting up a communication boundary and will now be following through with it. If that boundary is pushed, I will communicate that to you immediately, though it's possible for it to fall through if I'm in a mentally bad head space, and I will need time to respond back.
We are not lawyers at home, so I don't deserve to be talked to like one and have to feel like I should respond like one.
Leo: I understand that lawyerly talk isn't your thing, but I still have hard time understanding why that's an issue for you. I have always spoken that way with people and others to me as well, and while I see how it can be exhausting, I am failing to see why that's an issue. When I'm having a conversation, I need to get to conclusions. I do not appreciate talks with no real objectives besides just sharing feeling. I believe it achieves no tangible outcome. I do think sharing feelings is important, but at the end we need to have a conversation on how to resolve it. And to do so, the lawyerly talk is necessary in my opinion. We are adults trying to fix issues, and I want you to be the same level as me on that. We are not lawyers at home, but if responsibilities are not taken up, one needs to bring it up. I haven't seen you doing so much of that, and that's the reason most of my conversation with you goes that way. We will find a healthy balance, but this does not mean I will not talk to you definitively ever. I don't even know how we can resolve anything without talking like that. About you not speaking up - I believe its neither my fault or yours. The dynamic we formed at the beginning of summer last year made it that way (you not sure what to do and me trying to get things going), and I feel unfair about your statement on you not speaking up because I made you feel that way. I appreciate you having the boundaries moving on. It's not an inconvenience for me, rather something I'd like for us to have.
Me: I understand that being your perspective on it. There's time and place for speaking like that. However, these are the only conversations we have with each other right now, and there's nothing else we seem to talk about. So it's an overwhelming feeling when that's the only communication I get from you for long periods of time.
Leo: In my opinion, if something's not working, we have to have that kind of conversation. If we are to just chat and chill, i won't be and will be cautious not to.
As I spoke before, I don't feel like being with you is hanging out. It feels more so talking to my coworker or my boss and discussing work to do. Which is why I think it's helpful if you or I bring friends over hang out together. It helps me distract from talking about those and really just chill. I also don't want to just awkwardly have normal conversations with you in hopes to make things better. That feels superficial.
I actually always feel better after you share your thoughts and what's been bugging you. It helps me relieve my burdens too and just be ourselves. It's annoying at first, but I feel better that way. Hope it's the same for you.
Me: That's fine to have that conversation, I also want that conversation. I'm not a confrontational person and will always pick the path of least resistance as it's how I responded to my crazy family growing up. I, personally, didn't think I'd ever have to do that again when I moved out and yet I'm doing it again. It's made me completely disassociate from myself and I don't feel like I have energy to do anything anymore.
It may or may not be a trauma response. My therapist has brought up CPTSD as a possible issue I'm dealing with internally and that's why I respond to things in a way that I do. And me not being able to trust people that I'm talking to will always guarantee that my defenses are up.
I'm not asking that we need to be superficial to each other, but just doing a wordless activity together like shopping or something with exercising would be a way for us to be comfortable in each other's space again.
That's up to you. I'm not pressuring you to do so or that we have to do it. It's just a thought
Leo: I'm open to it - except that I would like if you could plan it and push for it. I'm the type of person that cancels on plan if the other person is not pushing it unless it's something I really want to do.
I understand the PTSD part as well. It's not something I thought of and I think it makes sense. I hope that we continue to understand each other better so we get to the point where those walls come down.
Tldr; My long time friend has been speaking to me horribly since we moved in together. After a text I got last weekend, I'm fed up and stood up for myself over text. I can't remove myself from the situation of living with them right now, but really need advice going forward. If anyone has experience navigating a situation like this, I would really appreciate it.

hello !
6 months ago, around late December last year i (19M) met a girl (18F), through an app that is used to send letters to people around the world, i downloaded that app because i felt lonely and needed to talk to some random strangers, i didnt really have someone over there that i talked with regularly except this girl, she sent me a letter, we had things in common and we started exchanging long letters, each letter would take half a day to get delivered.
as we started to get along more, around early Feb she gave me a website that we can talk with a webcam, we talked there, watched a movie, she is really pretty and we always had something to talk about, i always had this insecurity that i am really bad at socialising but with her i feel like i can always talk about something and never make the conversation dry. then she told me if we can talk on whatsapp so we can real-time chat, and then we started chatting there, every few days we would chat for a couple of hours, always fun, every week or couple of weeks we would face call and just talk about random stuff, obviously i had feelings from the start but i decided to wait a bit to know her better and vice versa.
i think i told her how i feel around Feb/late Feb something like that, she told me she wanted to talk in face call and so i did, we talked about it, my feelings, she asked what did you like about me and i answered and we talked about stuff around that, she then said she also liked me, she liked many things about me and she thought i was cute, and sorry i forgot to mention the most important part, she lives a content away from me !
after we both knew we had feelings for each other, i said maybe we can just wait and see how things turn out, the distance is a huge problem, she said she would not mind moving away after finishing college, which is almost 4 years from now, we still arent really "dating" but we both like each other.
we get closer, we chat almost every day and she makes me feel loved and valued which is always what i really just wanted in life, thing is, sometimes she would take "time alone" which i understand and respect her alone time, she did it around 2-3 times before, she would tell me before and just disappear for a few days, i obviously was not thrilled but i also would not go on and tell her noo !! i leave her be and we would talk again, tho when she does that, my mind would say all sorts of things like "she doesnt value you enough for leaving you for some time!!" but when she gets back i usually forget about them all. It also what I assume it starts to cope automatically, saying she wasn't even that good or whatever which I don't like it just feels rly disrespectful lol.
maybe something important i need to mention, around 3.5 years ago, my best friend left me because i was very low energy, i was depressed and always wanted to hang out with him to feel better but i guess it was exhausting for him, we never met btw it was all online and playing games together, he decided to play with other friends, i tried to ask him to hang out for a month straight and he always said no sorry, i then stopped sending and he never sent me anything after, i was almost alone for 6 months but i had a mutual friend who i was not very close with, but i still talked with them every couple of days tho i was just not as connected and missed my best friend a lot, he eventually got us back together thro the old group, he genuinely apologised which was whatever but he is my current closest friend, he is really great and very understanding and just really a great friend who is there for you and not afraid to express how much you value to him.
back to the girl, as we were on the usual routine, i noticed one day that she was replying late and dry, so i assumed it was one of her "alone time" it has been like this for around 6 days without contact, so i tell her is everything okay ? she said yeah i am just stressed and busy, which she is, she is having her finals soon, but i did not like that she did not tell me, i dont like trying to guess out of her energy if she wants to be alone or whatever, i told her that, she said she doesnt just notify everyone, and "it is not an issue", i said that i do not want to guess everytime something similar happens, she said well im just not available right now.
it has been around 12 days last time we had an actual conversation, and i get feelings of i guess hate towards her, i just dont feel valued enough, i know she is stressed, but to go from almost everyday talking to 10 days no contact ? i really dont know, it makes me feel like it would not really matter to her if i am not in her life anymore, which like i said i just want to be valued, am i being selfish ? obviously i can not control my emotions but is it not good to be like that ? i also obviously has not told her because she doesnt wanna talk but what if she messages me back again, i really am not sure what is the best way to handle it, i would like to tell her about how i felt, but i might seem childish or overly attached or something like that, and i also would not think it is good to just continue normally like nothing happened and bury those feelings, i dont know what to do really. I know she likes me, she has said it and shown it, but with this I kinda begin to doubt it more with each day, i saw her retweet a post saying "I don't like it when guys say you're gonna save me or complete me, I'm just a girl who wants her own peace" which made me feel like shit.
I just really don't know what to do about all of this, i don't want to hate her but I can't help it I guess.
she has mentioned she is an avoidant-attachment personality which is something i dont raelly get so i am trying to be understanding but it is hard, i realise that i am dependant on others for my happiness, i have realised that 3 years ago, i have always tried to fix that by hobbies but i still very struggle with. Sorry if you have already seen this post, I didn't really get replies and I wanted to hear from someone about this situation, maybe give me clarity, I've been too stressed with other things and I want to put my mind to rest.

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Ultimate Guide to CompTIA Certification Study Resources: Prepare for Online Exams with Confidence
CompTIA certifications are a great way to kickstart or advance your IT career. With a wide range of certifications available, it can be overwhelming to know where to start studying. In this blog, we'll provide a comprehensive guide to CompTIA certification study resources, helping you prepare for online exams with confidence.
CompTIA Certification Levels:
Before we dive into study resources, let's quickly cover the three main levels of CompTIA certifications:

1. Core Certifications: Entry-level certifications covering IT fundamentals, such as A+, Network+, and Security+.
2. Specialty Certifications: Mid-level certifications focusing on specific areas like cybersecurity, data analytics, and cloud computing.
3. Professional Certifications: Advanced certifications for experienced professionals, such as CASP+ and PenTest+.

Study Resources:

Official CompTIA Resources:

1. CompTIA Learning and Training: Download practice questions, exam objectives, and study guides.
2. Certification Study Guides and Books: CompTIA offers study guides in both ebook and print formats.
3. Online Learning Platform: Interactive online courses and study materials.

Free Study Resources:

1. CompTIA Free Practice Tests: Get free practice test questions for CompTIA certification exams.
2. Reddit Study Groups: Join online communities, like , to connect with others studying for the exam.
3. YouTube Study Channels: Channels like Professor Messer and CompTIA offer video study materials.

Paid Study Resources:

1. Udemy Courses: Comprehensive online courses covering various CompTIA certifications.
2. Pluralsight: Interactive online courses and study materials.
3. Study Guides and Books: Third-party study guides and books from publishers like Wiley and Sybex.

Additional Tips:

1. Make a study plan: Set aside dedicated time to study and review material.
2. Practice, practice, practice: The more you practice, the more confident you'll feel on exam day.
3. Use flashcards: Flashcards can help you memorize key terms and concepts.
4. Join online communities: Connect with others studying for the exam to stay motivated and get help when needed.

Preparing for CompTIA certification exams requires dedication and the right study resources. By leveraging official CompTIA resources, free study materials, and paid study resources, you'll be well on your way to passing your exam and advancing your IT career. Remember to stay focused, practice regularly, and join online communities for support. Good luck on your exam!
Additional Resources:

• CompTIA Certification Website
• CompTIA Study Guides
• CompTIA Free Practice Tests

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Context:

I am going to be going on a gap year after not receiving a sufficient offer in my senior year applications, for further understanding, I'll mention my previous results:
NYU (rejection)
NCS (accepted)
University of Northern Iowa (accepted with a 6,000$ merit scholarship)
Western New England University (accepted with a 34,000$ merit scholarship)
John Cabot University, Rome (accepted with 6,500€ merit scholarship)
Constructor University, Bremen (accepted with 8,000€ merit scholarship)
SUNY Bingham (accepted)
Stony Brooke (accepted with 4,000$ merit scholarship)
Minerva University (accepted with 40,000$ financial aid/93% financial aid)

Demographics:

Male
South Asian
International Student
Low Income (need a full ride to even consider attending)
Private residential high school (considered as the most competitive, selective and highly ranked in country)
Hooks: URM
Intended Majors: Psychology/Pre-Med/Biotechnology(or related)
SAT: 1440 (RW-670, Maths- 770) {one attempt, and this is subpar by my standards but I cannot afford to give it again}
GPA: 4.0/4.0
Class Rank: School doesn't show rank but from my calculations 8/121
Coursework: Follows the national curriculum, so not sure how that equates to AP, etc, but 8A\ in IGCSE O-Levels* followed by (Biology-1, Biology-2, Physics-1, Physics-2, Chemistry-1, Chemistry-2, Religious Studies , Social Studies (of our country), Religious Studies Honor-1 and Religious Studies Honor-2, English-1, English-2, National Language-1 and National Language-2) all of it was across 2 years of senior high school
Rigor: Competitive course based on the national curriculum

Extracurriculars (here is where I hope to stand out a little):

1) English Commentator (year 1) and captain of the commentary panel (2nd year) for a national level event that had live TV coverage and broadcasted across the nation, a contingent of guests were present including high level government officers, civil servants, diplomats and armed forced personel
2) Co-director of College Guidance and Placement Cell, imparting college application process guidance to over 600 students, spoke on behalf of the organization in 4 educational fairs, kept documents and ensured that my batch had a foreign acceptance rate which was highest in colleges history
3) Co-Founder and head of International Chapter of NGO based on environmentalism and reforestation. Planted 1500+ trees, head a team of 13 core members, organized 22+ plantation drives, held 34+ sessions, took organization to an international level
4) Deputy Head Boy of student government body of institute with 2300 student population, organized multiple events, represented school on national level and in governmental education authority board meetings.
5) President English Debating Society, General Secretary MUN society, 4x best debater awards, 5x best delegate awards (ranging from interschool to regional level)
6) President Biotech research society, and Fellow of the Horticulture Club then also conducted 2 months of research with Agriculture Research Center on the effects of potato tissue culturing and genetic modification, no paper published.
7) Captain Wing (House) Debating Team, where I conducted speeches daily and rendered training to 100 students for one year, my junior team placed first in the institute with one kid getting an award for being the best debater.
8) Conducted interviews of nationally recognized heroes for college magazine and contributed in more capacities with articles.
9) Bronze Duke of Edinburgh Award with approximately 100+ volunteer hours at local religious centers, orphanages, and tree plantations+national cleanup drives.
10) Associate member of government mental health awareness program as an ambassador of the educational institute I attended.

Awards (not too great):

1) KenKen olympiad, bronze medal, Nationals
2) Best in Academics, Institutional Award
3) IBT High Distinctions across 3 subjects in 3 consecutive years
4) School level academic distinctions across 5 subjects in 3 seperate years

Essays:

For the previous year that I applied; it was about being bullied and the psychological implication behind it. Now that I think about it, at best, it was a 6.5/10
My supplements were not solid besides those for Minerva, I was really proud of those.
This year, I plan on taking a different approach while I haven't written one yet, there are certain ideas that have come to mind and I believe I can really nail the essays this year both personal and supplemental.

Letter of recommendations:

Counselor, 9.5/10, I am very close with him, he is the Officer in charge of the guidance and Placement cell, along with the horticulture club, he also organized the research by contacting the agriculture center, he can reallt speak on my character, initiative, willingness to go far in life, leadership capabilities.
English Teacher, 8.5/10, I have a great sort of friendly rivalry with him and he can provide a light hearted approach towards breaking down my character both academically, and also as a public speaker and writer, he did doubt me to begin with but then in his own words I proved him wrong as a learned individual
Officer in charge of Commentary Team, 9.5/10, he has a masters in clinical psychology, it helps with major of choice, he can give a psychological breakdown of my character, speaking skills, confidence, english language grasp, how I surpassed many in 2 years (Commentary Captain) on national tv.
Administrative/Discipline/Sports Head of my residential school, 10/10, He has been the most involved in my personal growth and development, and has pushed me the most to pursue ivy leagues and t50 colleges rather than settling for a smaller college or something subpar, he sees alot of potential in me, he can give a unique outlook on my character, discipline, adaptability, mindset that I carry, attempting everything whether I'm good at it or not and making a name for myself in only 2 years.

Other circumstances of note:

I moved back to my home country as an expat of 16 years in the middle east to attend my residential school, arguably the best in my country because I did not want to settle for less, changed curriculum, was accepted to Minerva whereas 26 others in my college were rejected but I couldn't afford it, I joined as a lateral entrant (usually kids join my high school from 8th, I joined in 11 on a very competitive exam for extremely limited seats, about 1.4 percent acceptance rate) which set me apart already, was bullied as a kid for my lisp and I proved them wrong with my awards but then it began again as I entered my new high school, once again I made an impact and name for myself.
Sorry if that's a huge block of text, but I plan on working with that for essay concepts, hopefully you guys could help around a bit?

Colleges planned to attend:

REA: Princeton University (this is the dream)
Dartmouth (second dream)
University of Pennsylvania (third dream)
Cornell
Harvard
Columbia
Yale
Brown
Stanford
Duke
MIT
Carneige Mellon
Vanderbilt
Rice
NYU
Northwestern
Bowdoin
Johns Hopkins
University of Notre Dame
Boston College
Do help me out!! Please tell me what I can do, how cooked I am, and if I should keep any sort of hope?

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I'm absolutely lost in my writing career.
I have a degree in communications with a minor in journalism. I was really eager to become a journalist and work in an editoral or creative environment after college, but the pay was absolutely abysmal for city living. I tried picking up a role as an associate producer for an online show and working part-time at a store, but the pay together was barely enough together. So, I switched to a career in technical writing.
I was a technical writer for three years, and was promoted to a team lead in my fourth. I was so burnt out being a team lead + people manager + IC (the startup I worked for IPO'd and went into hypergrowth during the pandemic) on top of my personal life (exited a relationship with an abusive alcoholic, my mother was hospitalized and almost died, and my brother had a stroke).
I took a year off to freelance write technical content and travel. After a while I realized I needed to get back into the workforce or else I'd have too long of a gap / too hard of a time finding a role.
An old colleague of mine recommended me to a company for a technical content role. I met the hiring manager. All was good. I was super excited about the role. Clicked well with the hiring manager, CEO, and team.
The week I joined, I felt very unwelcomed-- almost like they didn't want to hire me or anyone for the role? I cannot explain it, but the vibe was that there was a lot of internal turmoil and all of a sudden the hiring manager was a different person.
Eventually I noticed other women around me were leaving. Some sexist remarks were made to me, so I wasn't that shocked. But I was made to feel like I was constantly failing, even though I had the numbers to prove I was just as on par, if not better, than my team members who were being measured by the same metrics. The whole team was barely moving metrics needles, so pinpointing just me for failure felt ridiculous. Plus some people weren't even evaluated on metrics. It felt like a whole other set of rules applied to my role.
My job description was heavily contested by the VPs and my manager. They had totally different expectations of my role. One wanted a strict writer. The other wanted a marketer and strategist. It was so conflicting, and I could never get work done. Someone was always reprimanding me even when I was following the direct orders of my manager.
It stressed me out getting up every day knowing I was under a microscope. I broke down and quit. I know, stupid in this economy, but I legit felt like I was going crazy.
I've been unemployed for a few months now, but I am feeling absolutely lost with my career. I've been applying, but getting rejection letters. And rightfully so, I have no excitement for anything I've applied to.
I love writing. I hate working in tech. Every time I try to apply to editorial writing or editing roles, I'm denied for no longer having "newsroom" experience. Pay is absolutely abysmal across most jobs in the field. I considered going back into technical writing, but the roles I've applied to have told me I'm too "marketing" now because of my last role. Wtf. I went from making $150k/yr to begging for interviews at $60k.
I don't feel like I fit into any "role" or "category" now, so it's hard to apply. I'm borderline suicidal because it feels like my career fell apart overnight, and I won't be able to find a job that doesn't suck out my soul and pay the bills. I feel like I'll be stuck in tech forever, or unemployed.
I don't have the money or time to go back to classes right now. I'm stuck at home living with my parents until I sort this out.
I'm just lost, and don't even know where to start. If anyone else has ever been in a similar position with their career, I'm looking for advice. Especially from folks who left the software engineering / tech field and moved into other fields.

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Is it ok if I only have 1 teacher recommendation? I’m a pretty quiet student In most of my classes and haven’t really made much of an impression/impact so I feel a bit weird about asking teachers for recs since i basically don’t have any relationship with them (although none have outright said no), and many of my teachers are full on recommendations In general since I procrastinated it a bit too much, and I’ve only got 1 so far, from my french teacher who I do have a pretty good relationship with. Is this ok? I will also have 1 from my guidance counselor, who writes one for everyone regardless. I’m almost positive that all of/almost all of the colleges i will be applying to are ones in Canada, which generally don’t consider or even accept rec letters at all for the programs im interested in, but should I try to get atleast one more just in case? I didn’t do any clubs at all and so far haven’t had a job, so I don’t have any mentors or bosses or whatever I could ask.

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PALS is a course offered by the American Heart Association (AHA) for healthcare providers who take care of children and infants in the emergency room, critical care, and intensive care units in the hospital, and out of the hospital (emergency medical services (EMS)).
The course teaches healthcare providers how to assess injured and sick children and recognize and treat respiratory distress/failure, shock, cardiac arrest, and arrhythmias. The goal of PALS is to save a life, for a child or infant experiencing serious injury or illness, your action can be the difference between life and death.
PALS is a series of protocols to guide responses to life-threatening clinical events. These responses are designed to be simple enough to be committed to memory and recalled under moments of stress. PALS guidelines have been developed from a thorough review of available protocols, patient case studies, and clinical research; and they reflect the consensus opinion of experts in the field.
PALS Course Options:

• PALS Provider Course: This course aims to improve outcomes for pediatric patients by preparing healthcare providers to effectively recognize and intervene in patients with respiratory emergencies, shock, and cardiopulmonary arrest by using high‐performance team dynamics and high‐quality individual skills.
• PALS Plus: This course is for healthcare providers who either direct or participate in the management of respiratory and/or cardiovascular emergencies, cardiopulmonary arrest, and other emergent and critical conditions in pediatric patients.
• PEARS (Pediatric Emergency Assessment, Recognition and Stabilization): This course is for healthcare providers and others who might encounter pediatric emergency situations during their work.

PALS Course Content:

• Initial Assessment: The initial assessment is meant to be a very quick assessment performed within the first few seconds of interacting with a child and it utilizes the acronym ABC - appearance, breathing, and color.
• Primary Assessment: The primary assessment uses the acronym ABCDE - airway, breathing, circulation, disability, exposure.
• Secondary Assessment: Once the primary assessment is completed, the provider can do a secondary assessment which consists of a complete physical exam and focused medical history.
• Respiratory Distress and Failure: Providers must be able to identify respiratory problems that are easily treatable (e.g., treated with oxygen, suctioning/ clearing airway, albuterol, etc.) and those that can rapidly progress to life-threatening conditions.

PALS Certification:

• PALS Provider Course Completion eCard: This eCard is valid for two years.

Additional Resources:

• American Heart Association (AHA): The AHA offers various courses and resources for healthcare providers, including PALS, PALS Plus, and PEARS.
• American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP): The AAP collaborates with the AHA to develop pediatric emergency care courses and resources.

PALS is a course designed to teach healthcare providers how to assess and treat children and infants in emergency situations. The course covers various topics, including initial assessment, primary assessment, secondary assessment, and respiratory distress and failure.
PALS certification is valid for two years and can be obtained through the American Heart Association (AHA) or other authorized providers.
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