Dog owners are just as bad as the shit dog itself. My mom brought her dog to my house (800 mile drive) after I politely requested she doesn’t ( it chews things, barks constantly, chases my car). She brings the dog, it immediately chews one of my kinds stuffed animals, corners the car and barks at her,leaves drool and chunks of its chew toys all over my house, and digs holes in my backyard, and my mom is completely oblivious that the dog needs training, “oh she’s just a puppy lol’. Well yesterday she got loose , got into the neighbours yard and attacked one of their chickens, and she yells at my son for accidentally letting it out. (That’s the moment I realized, although I’ve never liked dogs, dog owners and this weird dog phase society in are the problem.) I immediately told my mom it’s ‘not my kids fault you don’t train your dog, this is on you ‘. She lost her mind on me and said she was going to leave and that I hate her dog (I do), and it was just sad and revealing how much denial she and so many dog owners are in that dog ownership is so much more than walking and feeding it. You as a dog owner need to train it, and also be fucking accountable for your fur baby when it does something dumb.

I had a strange relationship with deconstruction as my dad was trained at a university level to do apologetics. He was an LDS chaplain in the Army, and every night for scripture study, we got discourses on the nuances of our faith and justifications for every question we ever had. I didn’t swear until I was 18 years old, or drink caffinated anything until about that time as well, because it was never a matter of justification. It was what my family, my tribe, my people did, to go to church on Sunday, and to be worthy. I was senior patrol leader and assistant to the bishop if that clarifies who I was. I didn’t have “God will reveal it in due time” parents. I had “Here’s the answer, here’s contemporary discussion about it. Here’s some reading material if you want to learn more” parents, except for they were wicked smart, and had biased conclusions.
I was called to serve in the Mexico City East mission. Shortly before opening my mission call, I broke up with my girlfriend at the time. i left BYU-I and went home to prepare. I received my endowments after lying to my stake president about my worthiness to enter the house of the lord. I came clean, and he threatened to not let me go out for a year because I was unclean. The prick made me talk to a therapist to be cleared for the mission field. The therapist had a brain and let me go out. When I was giving my mission farewell speech, I wrote it to include the teachings of many religions in it. I had drawn inspiration from the 13th article of faith “We believe all things, hope all things-“ and wrote a poem about how Adam and Eve related to the Resurection and Atonement of christ. My dad tells me the stake president was shifting in his seat like he wanted to pull me down from the pulpit. Prick.
The CCM was a pleasure to attend because of my district. The guys in my district there held a secret thanksgiving feast after hours when we were supposed to be in bed with food we had smuggled out of the cafeteria. We had look outs so we wouldn’t be caught by the patrolling teachers. My district was placed under surveillance because of politics against our spanish teacher who we could tell actually cared about us, and we were transferred into a classroom with one sided mirrors, and microphones hanging from the ceiling. An apostle came to speak to the entire CCM, and I thought we would get a chance to meet with him directly, or that he would be even remotely accessible in some way. He was kept away from us, separate and removed even though we had the same mission. I played a lot of volley ball, and got into shape enough that I touched the rim of a basketball hoop for the first time while I was there.
My first companion was a native speaker, and liked to spend the mornings in the cyber (Internet Cafe). He would make sure I was on LDS.org while he looked at softcore porn on instagram. We would spend hours there, and I was disappointed that this was the mission.
We went to a previous investigators house, and while there, we saw preparations for an animal sacrifice. These guys were putting alcohol, cocaine, and blowing smoke onto a white chicken, and placed in into a cardboard box with a bunch of black chickens. They showed us a room full of weapons, with blood and feathers strewn all over the floor. We noped the fuck out, and went home.
I requested an emergency transfer after spending most days in the cyber, watching my companion deface JW’s property, and being an all around dick to me by telling me how to shower and how to sleep.
For his replacement, the person that would help me with his bastion of knowledge, they gave me a white guy who spoke as much Spanish as I did because he was only a transfer further into his mission than me. They made this poor kid senior companion to me before his first transfer was over. Why? Because the kid was a workaholic.
The first thing this elder and I did when we got to our apartment was to pick up and leave to go to the house of a member who had just died. We sang at the wake. I sang in a language I didn’t know, for people I didn’t know, with a companion I didn’t know. We sounded pretty damn good. The elder began setting appointments with the non-believing family members during the service. I just sat and watched the mindless kids chase the family dog.
This elder skipped lunch every day, and made me do the same. We knocked every door in our area twice that transfer. One time, he got very sick, and was delirious out in the sun with me while we were walking. I made us go home for lunch that day, and he made me promise to wake him up after thirty minutes so we could get back to the Lord’s work. Three hours later he woke up, chewed me out for letting him sleep that long, and then begrudgingly thanked me for making him rest.
One time, while walking, this Elder expressed to me that he also had some questions, but he was afraid to share the details because he knew my own testimony was fragile. I pressed him for details of his plight, and he revealed to me the darkest part of church history that he had learned while we were in the CCM, that Joseph Smith had drank alcohol while in Carthage Jail before he died. Thoughts of Fanny Alger, of Mountain Meadows Massacre, and of my own mother’s rather recently implemented looser interpretation of the word of wisdom all flashed through my head. This guy was supposed to be my teacher? All I could do was express how sorry I was for his confusion, and told him to have faith. Heaven knew I couldn’t help him.
One night with this companion, it was storming hard, and the streets were flooded. This guy refused to let us go home. We climbed along fences to avoid getting our already wet shoes soaked, and waded through a foot of water to get to the doors that were slammed in our faces. There was a loose wire on a door bell, and when I rang it, I was shocked by the completed circuit the water made. Rejection after rejection piled up. Finally, my “senior” companion said that this was the last row of houses. On the last house of the last row, there was a family that was all deaf. The father opened the door, and was suprised to see us and didn’t know who we were. I remembered the sign for Jesus from my grandparents who started and ran the ASL endowment ceremony in the Saint George temple. The family was thrilled we knew the sign. When I asked if we could come in, the family politely waved goodbye and closed the door on our faces.
Another time when it rained, something fell into my eye. It was one of those freak nature accidents, and small enough that I couldn’t figure out how to get it out without a mirror. The thing stayed wedged in the corner of my eye for hours before we got home and I could finally get the foreign object out. Looking at it on my finger, I could see it was a small green spider. Days later, still in pain, I pulled what I can only assume was accumulated webbing from the spider that I’d crushed against my eyeball off of my lower eye lid. The pain stopped after that.
I bought a $500 camera. It was stolen within a month.
This Elder and I had the good luck before transfers to baptize two children. They would have been baptized anyways, so I didn’t do any actual converting, but I taught a few lessons, got in the water and did the dunk. Bucket list item, check.
I didn’t have enough time for laundry on P-Day, so I’d wash my outfit and dry in on the radiator through the night. Transfers happen, and my new companion lied to our land lords about the electricity bill, paying it in full but not giving a reason as to why it was so high. I didn’t care anymore, I just needed something clean to wear, but these land lord had treated me and my previous companion well, better than the previous landlord who had stolen our cleaning supplies. I felt these people deserved honesty. My senior companion capitulated eventually, and he and I butted heads regularly after that on the morality of things. I think in hindsight he was a smarter and better man than I was.
The new land lords, the “Lagunez Family”, were wonderful. They included us in their activities, and I felt like I had some people in my corner. When I eventually came home from my mission, a daughter of the family had written me a goodbye letter. She is currently serving a mission. They made some great music, and I have “Infiltradors” on CD, the official name of the band the father of the family was a part of (he was the drummer).
I knew the whole area by heart by that point, so I navigated us to our appointments. Half of the landmarks I watched for to know our location were interesting buildings with unique colors. The other half of my landmarks were dead dogs whose decaying corpses had become second nature to see. I began marking how much time had passed by how deeply a certain dog on a certain dirt path’s chest was caved in.
There was an apartment complex in my area that I had been told not to proselytize in because “It’s dangerous.” Turns out, those people didn’t have any money, so the church didn’t want them. That complex was past the dog and to the east about ten blocks.
My companion and I knocked on a door, and visited a man who was missing his legs. His daughter was there, putting dirty water on the aching wounds. He had a single room for a house, and wheezed when he spoke. He couldn’t afford medication. He still went out and worked all day for his daughter, and gave her whatever money he made, trusting her to keep him alive somehow. The church expected this man to pay tithing. The church expected me to tell this man to pay tithing.
I got the chance to hike up a mountain. At the top, I played chess with a chess set I’d procured from one of the best rapid chess players I’ve ever met. He had been the ward mission leader. He was a good man, a good father, and I wish him the best.
I found another man who was deaf and spoke sign language. I sat with him, and convinced him to come to church all by myself while my companion talked with some tienda tender. I was so excited because this was my own personal project and it was going well. The man came to church, and I sat with him through sacrament meeting. In Sunday school (I can’t believe I did this), I accidentally drooled on the guy. I was just talking so he could read my lips, and I guess I forgot to swallow at some point because a dolup of spit landed on his arm. I apologized profusely, and he played it off, but I never saw that investigator again.
My companion and I knocked a door one day, and a man answered. He wore tattered clothes, and maggots were burrowing into and out of his feet. He muttered something about the stars, missing his wife, and he began to tear up. My eyes stung from the stench. The door closed. Somehow, I knew the man would be dead in a matter of weeks.
I had lost hope that I was doing anything worth while. I looked down on the Doc Martins that had stayed with me five months at this point. I was angry with myself for being so useless in the field, angry with the church for giving me leaders that didn’t listen to my needs or perspective, angry with my mom for drinking while I had to teach people that it was a sin, angry with my dad for giving me the skills and knowledge to justify anything, even pedophilia in the early days of the church, to the point where I could look someone in the eye, and knowing the kind of man Smith was, tell them he was a good man and a true prophet of God. Suddenly a man approached us. He said he recognized us as missionaries, and asked about our message. This never happened. People didn’t just come up to us unless they were crazy or dangerous. But this was a public place, and this guy was genuine. My companion talked to him, and gathered his story, but I was plotting something else. I was done with not caring about these people in a way that mattered. I was tired of walking in another man’s shoes, a man who wasn’t me, who believed different things than me. The chopped leg, the rotting dogs, the infested feet, it all swirled into a single thought in that moment.
What would Jesus do?
I walked over to the man, and in broken Spanish asked him to stand next to me. He did so, and I compared my shoe size to his foot. It was a perfect match. He protested, but I didn’t let him get a word in edge wise. I took off my shoes, put them on his dirty feet, and laced them up nice and tight. Those shoes had cost a ton, and had been meant to last the whole mission. All I had left at this point were my fancy dress shoes that gave my blisters back at the apartment. I didn’t care. I walked home in my socks that day, happy as a lark.
Covid-19 hit a month later. I was one of the few they brought home instead of quarantining. After having served only 6 months. I told God if he wanted me to stay home, he’d have to make them release me.
They released me. I think I was one of maybe a hundred missionaries that were released due to Covid. The church realized their mistake pretty soon after I was released. Once Covid infrastructure began to develop, they didn’t release any more. I guess I didn’t serve a full two years, but I did serve a full mission.
My brother served, and he nearly killed himself due to intense depression brought on by Covid quarantine and poor leadership (I’ve got a few mission president stories, but those are for another time).
I learned lying to someone’s face from my mission, and spent the rest of my time at BYU-I as “nuanced” until the last two years, over which the most epic hoe phase imaginable became my new mission. I spent those years terrified of getting a call from the honor code office.
I’m married now, with my degree irrevocably in my possession. I have friends and loved ones that are in the church and are working on their mission papers. I’m beginning to feel powerless again. I’m seeing the decay again, not on legs, feet, or dogs anymore, but in the souls of the people who the church raises to do their dirty volunteer work. I see them like the animal sacrifices I saw being prepared. I’m not sure what shoes I have left to give to those people that I know are going to be in pain.
My parents are out completely now. It was a long time coming, but they are out and so much happier. I’m working on building a new relationship with my family, one based off of the fact that we won’t be together forever, so we have to make the most of our time together now.
Happy Sunday guys, best of luck to you all. And most importantly, chupa la piña.

Hey guys and gals, I had a bit of a question!
A month ago, my mom was scratched accidentally by my pet dog, and while my pet dog is fully vaccinated and dewormed, we still made sure that my mom received her rabies and tetanus shots, as is the norm.
My mom, until now, has received 4 of her rabies shots, and is due her next one soon, but my mom now has another accidental bite/scratch to show for, courtesy of my pet dog, which, let’s face it, can be a regular thing to contend with around the household.
Do we need to go out of our way, to do something special or different for the aforementioned latest incident, or should we simply stick to her usual rabies shots cycle, and get her her 5th shot as planned? Any advice will be welcome!

my brother (m23) and I (f21) encouraged my mum (f50) to get another dog after recently losing our dad. he was the love of her life and ofc we were all very devastated. she took it the hardest and was depressed for a while before she had an idea of getting another dog because she was scared of losing our current dog which was 9ish years old at the time. hes a border collie and we love him very much though hes definitely more of a handful than most house family dogs. she asked us if we would help with raising another border collie puppy and we ofc said yes (although my mum is full time and my brother is basically full time and im a full time uni student with work too). we were barely home the three of us.
fast forward to now and our second dog is 1 year old and he is the worst dog ever. hes still not toilet trained till now, hes messy (rolls around in pee and poop) and eats everything on the counters, in our rooms (he can open our doors) and pees on our toilet floors. hes eaten my uber eats plenty of times and weve had to start leaving our backyard door open just so he can pee outside and sometimes he still doesnt. this makes all the flies enter our house and its constantly cold or hot depending on the season. its so frustrating coming home to a mess especially when he gets in my room and trashes all the papers and eats all my undies. he even accidentally ate a rock and he had to get surgery of over 3k expense. he did go to puppy school and my mum tried her best to train him as a puppy but again shes barely home. the most me and brother did was watch him as a puppy to make sure he peed outside to toilet train him but clearly it wasnt enough.
but my last straw was today when he ate some dessert off our counter that my bfs mum made. i absolutely hate him now and i have no love left for him. i refuse to help my mum take care of him any longer and im insisting she gives him away or sells him. obviously she doesnt want to because she still loves him or whatever but i am done. i gave her an ultimatum to give him away or ill move out and she said im being unfair. im tired of coming home to a mess everyday and fear of making sure my rooms barricaded or foods not close to the edge of tables. not to mention all the yelling my mum has to do to try and "discipline" him. obviously i dont blame the poor dog and i know we did a bad job raising him but i believe hed be happier in a home who can properly take care of him and give him 100% attention he needs.
TLDR: my mum got a second dog as part of a grieving process but the dog wreaks havoc in our home and i want to give him away.

A few days ago we fought from 1:30a till about 8am. We have lengthy arguments like this all the time. We used to date, and it played a key role in the end of our relationship along with us having different values in general. I made it clear before we started dating I can't handle much fighting, particularly yelling, because of aspects of my childhood.
✨️ TLDR AHEAD
Two fights happened on my two birthdays- or before other important things like it's the night before a road trip or I'm ON the road trip. They happen when I want to go to bed or I'm about to run an errand. He monologs for literal hours at a time, and I can't speak up when he speaks incorrectly on my part because then I'm interrupting him and that causes more issues than me being misunderstood or remembered incorrectly.
In our relationship they were often caused by me not wanting him to pay my for my phone/phone bill before we'd been dating for even 3 months, though they were also caused by me being late to coming over and stuff like that as well. Sometimes I'd accidentally fall asleep after work instead of coming over, if I lay down after a shower, which I did a few times as I worked very early in the morning, and it made him feel like I didn't value his time.
I didn't talk to him for a few months after we broke up, even though he tried to contact me to apologize several times by texting/phonecalls/visiting several times at my apartment. Eventually someone knocked on my door and I opened it before I realized it was him. I didn't want to turn him away so we talked and he very sincerely apologized and talked about how he'd been going to therapy. I could recognize a great deal of change in him and we caught up on eachothers lives.
I moved to a different state like a week after we got in contact and i am struggling with this long distance friendship. He wants to talk all the time and I.. don't. I enjoy texting but sometimes I want to watch a show or play a game uninterrupted, but if I don't respond enough he feels ignored. He also likes to talk on the phone all the time and I really really don't enjoy talking on the phone at all, especially for hours at a time. We talked every night for a couple weeks in the beginning. But after a bad fight i reminded him I don't like being on the phone and said I wanted some space, which had been on my mind prior to the argument. The next week we talk on the phone for like 3 nights for a few hours, and maybe a few other little calls here and there, but he says it's not enough
But the thing is.. even when we talked for hours every night and texted pretty often it still wasn't enough. The only time it was enough was a short window when I checked my phone pretty obsessively to make sure I didn't miss a message from him and always stopped what I was doing to take his call
If my snap score goes up when we're not talking he asks me about it. I don't know why but I feel uncomfortable explaining to him the other people I talk to in the day. And often I'm not even talking to them when I'm not talking to him- they send me snaps when I'm not on my phone. I don't respond to anyone unless I make sure I respond to him first to avoid this exact issue. I feel anxious when my friends snap me because I know my score will go up and he's going to ask me about it
For the most part, our fights presently revolve around him feeling like I don't care enough about our friendship or he's feeling ignored by me. But I really really don't know what to do anymore. I was talking on the phone for hours at a time, I was texting all the time and keeping my responses as long as possible.. I was planning movie days, etc. It was never enough.
He's upset my responses are getting shorter. And to be honest they have. Often times I talk about my life, especially someone else in my life, it triggers a fight. Not always in the moment but it always comes back to bite me in the butt later. Particularly if I'm hanging out with my roommate, because in my friends eyes he and I get to hang out with all time. Which we kind of don't- my time is far more devoted to my friend than my roomate. But even if it wasn't- I like hanging out with my roomate because we can quietly sit in the same room together, and we don't have any conflict. He is a very kind presence and I'm grateful to have him as a friend.
It's hard talking about your life while also revealing the bare minimum about your life, and so I'm responding kind of shortly about my things and just try to focus on him.
The fight we had a few days ago was about us not talking enough. Sort of. The reasons our fights go on for hours is because I don't know how to respond to him when he brings up an issue. I sincerely try my best and I try it all. When he brings something up I explain to him I understand his concerns, both using his exact words and in my own words I explain why he's upset. If I agree with him I will apologize and tell him how I'm going to fix it and I fix it, after we fight for a few hours ofc, because he doesn't believe I can understand/apologize and fix something so early into a conversation.
Other times he keeps pushing me to explain myself, but if I explain my pov, things really really blow up because I don't always agree with him. And I think he confuses me not agreeing with him to not understanding. One of our fights came because he was upset when I got home with my roommate at 1am, when I had a 3 hour drive at 8am the next morning. Which blows my mind, because he fought with me literally all night before I drove across the state. I didn't tell him that though, I said I didn't mind getting home till 1 because I had fun when I was out and will still get plenty of sleep. But we still fought.
✨️TLDR
Anyway... the other day he brought up he feels like we don't talk enough. And I said I understand it's hard but this is the boundary I'm setting because I don't enjoy being on the phone, but we're talking 3/4 days a week for several hours. We fight and he says that even when we do talk I'm not talking enough right now. We fight and I reluctantly told him I just don't feel comfortable opening up right now. We fight and fight and it's turning me into a person I dont know or how to control.
In the beginning of our relationship I was quiet and just agreed to everything he said to avoid the argument. This didnt always work but it tends to. Now I get so overwhelmed and angry after several hours I mute my phone and scream into my pillow. This last call I started hitting myself, which I've never done before, and the next day my cheeks were bumpy and itchy, my forehead was swollen, my scalp hurt to touch, and I'm still getting over my two black eyes. He did NOT cause me to hit myself and he doesn't know. I feel silly for doing it. But I find myself at my breaking point and I don't know how to manage these fights anymore.
After hours and hours I break down and I just start agreeing to whatever he says I'm wrong about because I want it to end. I repeat the very thing I said eight hours ago- what I'm wrong about and how I'm going to fix it, but only now after crying on the phone all night long is sort of enough.
At the end of the call he asked if our friendship was over and I said I don't know. He asks this all the time and I basically beg him to be my friend but I don't want to anymore.
He sent me a long apology the morning after the fight and said he wouldn't do it anymore. I thanked him for not wanting those fights anymore. He sent me a pic of his dog and I said she was cute. That night I let our streak die. He messaged me this morning "you let our streak die" and I sat at my phone for ten minutes thinking of how to respond and eventually I just decided not to. He called me twice tonight at around 8pm and texted that he wanted us to talk for a bit, but i had made plans with another friend of mine a week ago to play animal crossing, so I did that and didn't respond to him. At 3am I saw he was typing on snapchat and I'm anxious because I've been receiving snaps and know my score went up, even though I have sent zero snaps to keep the number as low as I can
I know he wants to be friends still
But I sort of don't want to be friends anymore???? I really love the positive things in our relationship. In a lot of ways he was the best boyfriend and best friend I've ever had. But I can't do this anymore. I hate the person I am in these fights. I know he does not control my actions, it is not his fault I scream in my pillow or gave myself black eyes. But I have never in my life had any sort of romantic or friendly relationship like this. And I don't enjoy it. I really really love not fighting with my loved ones. And I really feel like no matter what I do to make him feel heard when he brings up an issue it's not enough. Every fight we have damages our friendship, which I've told him several times. I used to get over them easily but I am just so drained I always feel wary for the next blow up.
But I don't want him to feel like I'm abandoning our friendship? I don't know how to end a friendship? I've never had one end that wasn't a result of just growing apart. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wish I never opened my door when he came over. I'm supposed to go to my home state shortly and I'm very anxious about being in the same state as him

A few days ago we fought from 1:30a till about 8am. We have lengthy arguments like this all the time. We used to date, and it played a key role in the end of our relationship along with us having different values in general. I made it clear before we started dating I can't handle much fighting, particularly yelling, because of aspects of my childhood.
Two fights happened on my two birthdays- or before other important things like it's the night before a road trip or I'm ON the road trip. They happen when I want to go to bed or I'm about to run an errand. He monologs for literal hours at a time, and I can't speak up when he speaks incorrectly on my part because then I'm interrupting him and that causes more issues than me being misunderstood or remembered incorrectly.
In our relationship they were often caused by me not wanting him to pay my for my phone/phone bill before we'd been dating for even 3 months, though they were also caused by me being late to coming over and stuff like that as well. Sometimes I'd accidentally fall asleep after work instead of coming over, if I lay down after a shower, which I did a few times as I worked very early in the morning, and it made him feel like I didn't value his time.
I didn't talk to him for a few months after we broke up, even though he tried to contact me to apologize several times by texting/phonecalls/visiting several times at my apartment. Eventually someone knocked on my door and I opened it before I realized it was him. I didn't want to turn him away so we talked and he very sincerely apologized and talked about how he'd been going to therapy. I could recognize a great deal of change in him and we caught up on eachothers lives.
I moved to a different state like a week after we got in contact and i am struggling with this long distance friendship. He wants to talk all the time and I.. don't. I enjoy texting but sometimes I want to watch a show or play a game uninterrupted, but if I don't respond enough he feels ignored. He also likes to talk on the phone all the time and I really really don't enjoy talking on the phone at all, especially for hours at a time. We talked every night for a couple weeks in the beginning. But after a bad fight i reminded him I don't like being on the phone and said I wanted some space, which had been on my mind prior to the argument. The next week we talk on the phone for like 3 nights for a few hours, and maybe a few other little calls here and there, but he says it's not enough
But the thing is.. even when we talked for hours every night and texted pretty often it still wasn't enough. The only time it was enough was a short window when I checked my phone pretty obsessively to make sure I didn't miss a message from him and always stopped what I was doing to take his call
If my snap score goes up when we're not talking he asks me about it. I don't know why but I feel uncomfortable explaining to him the other people I talk to in the day. And often I'm not even talking to them when I'm not talking to him- they send me snaps when I'm not on my phone. I don't respond to anyone unless I make sure I respond to him first to avoid this exact issue. I feel anxious when my friends snap me because I know my score will go up and he's going to ask me about it
For the most part, our fights presently revolve around him feeling like I don't care enough about our friendship or he's feeling ignored by me. But I really really don't know what to do anymore. I was talking on the phone for hours at a time, I was texting all the time and keeping my responses as long as possible.. I was planning movie days, etc. It was never enough.
He's upset my responses are getting shorter. And to be honest they have. Often times I talk about my life, especially someone else in my life, it triggers a fight. Not always in the moment but it always comes back to bite me in the butt later. Particularly if I'm hanging out with my roommate, because in my friends eyes he and I get to hang out with all time. Which we kind of don't- my time is far more devoted to my friend than my roomate. But even if it wasn't- I like hanging out with my roomate because we can quietly sit in the same room together, and we don't have any conflict. He is a very kind presence and I'm grateful to have him as a friend.
It's hard talking about your life while also revealing the bare minimum about your life, and so I'm responding kind of shortly about my things and just try to focus on him.
The fight we had a few days ago was about us not talking enough. Sort of. The reasons our fights go on for hours is because I don't know how to respond to him when he brings up an issue. I sincerely try my best and I try it all. When he brings something up I explain to him I understand his concerns, both using his exact words and in my own words I explain why he's upset. If I agree with him I will apologize and tell him how I'm going to fix it and I fix it, after we fight for a few hours ofc, because he doesn't believe I can understand/apologize and fix something so early into a conversation.
Other times he keeps pushing me to explain myself, but if I explain my pov, things really really blow up because I don't always agree with him. And I think he confuses me not agreeing with him to not understanding. One of our fights came because he was upset when I got home with my roommate at 1am, when I had a 3 hour drive at 8am the next morning. Which blows my mind, because he fought with me literally all night before I drove across the state. I didn't tell him that though, I said I didn't mind getting home till 1 because I had fun when I was out and will still get plenty of sleep. But we still fought.
Anyway... the other day he brought up he feels like we don't talk enough. And I said I understand it's hard but this is the boundary I'm setting because I don't enjoy being on the phone. We fight and he says that even when we do talk I'm not talking enough right now. We fight and I reluctantly told him I just don't feel comfortable opening up right now. We fight and fight and it's turning me into a person I dont know or how to control.
In the beginning of our relationship I was quiet and just agreed to everything he said to avoid the argument. This didnt always work but it tends to. Now I get so overwhelmed and angry after several hours I mute my phone and scream into my pillow. This last call I started hitting myself, which I've never done before, and the next day my cheeks were bumpy and itchy, my forehead was swollen, my scalp hurt to touch, and I'm still getting over my two black eyes. He did NOT cause me to hit myself and he doesn't know. I feel silly for doing it. But I find myself at my breaking point and I don't know how to manage these fights anymore.
After hours and hours I break down and I just start agreeing to whatever he says I'm wrong about because I want it to end. I repeat the very thing I said eight hours ago- what I'm wrong about and how I'm going to fix it, but only now after crying on the phone all night long is it kind of enough.
He sent me a long apology the morning after the fight and said he wouldn't do it anymore. I thanked him for not wanting those fights anymore. He sent me a pic of his dog and I said she was cute. That night I let our streak die. He messaged me this morning "you let our streak die" and I sat at my phone for ten minutes thinking of how to respond and eventually I just decided not to. He called me twice tonight at around 8pm and texted that he wanted us to talk for a bit, but i had made plans with another friend of mine a week ago to play animal crossing, so I did that and didn't respond to him. At 3am I saw he was typing on snapchat and I'm anxious because I've been receiving snaps and know my score went up, even though I have sent zero snaps to keep the number as low as I can
I know he wants to be friends still
But I sort of don't want to be friends anymore???? I really love the positive things in our relationship. In a lot of ways he was the best boyfriend and best friend I've ever had. But I can't do this anymore. I hate the person I am in these fights. I know he does not control my actions, it is not his fault I scream in my pillow or gave myself black eyes. But I have never in my life had any sort of romantic or friendly relationship like this. And I don't enjoy it. I really really love not fighting with my loved ones. And I really feel like no matter what I do to make him feel heard when he brings up an issue it's not enough. Every fight we have damages our friendship, which I've told him several times. I used to get over them easily but I am just so drained I always feel wary for the next blow up.
But I don't want him to feel like I'm abandoning our friendship? I don't know how to end a friendship? I've never had one end that wasn't a result of just growing apart. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wish I never opened my door when he came over. I'm supposed to go to my home state shortly and I'm very anxious about being in the same state as him

A few days ago we fought from 1:30a till about 8am. We have lengthy arguments like this all the time. We used to date, and it played a key role in the end of our relationship along with us having different values in general. I made it clear before we started dating I can't handle much fighting, particularly yelling, because of aspects of my childhood.
Two fights happened on my two birthdays- or before other important things like it's the night before a road trip or I'm ON the road trip. They happen when I want to go to bed or I'm about to run an errand. He monologs for literal hours at a time, and I can't speak up when he speaks incorrectly on my part because then I'm interrupting him and that causes more issues than me being misunderstood or remembered incorrectly.
In our relationship they were often caused by me not wanting him to pay my for my phone/phone bill before we'd been dating for even 3 months, though they were also caused by me being late to coming over and stuff like that as well. Sometimes I'd accidentally fall asleep after work instead of coming over, if I lay down after a shower, which I did a few times as I worked very early in the morning, and it made him feel like I didn't value his time.
I didn't talk to him for a few months after we broke up, even though he tried to contact me to apologize several times by texting/phonecalls/visiting several times at my apartment. Eventually someone knocked on my door and I opened it before I realized it was him. I didn't want to turn him away so we talked and he very sincerely apologized and talked about how he'd been going to therapy. I could recognize a great deal of change in him and we caught up on eachothers lives.
I moved to a different state like a week after we got in contact and i am struggling with this long distance friendship. He wants to talk all the time and I.. don't. I enjoy texting but sometimes I want to watch a show or play a game uninterrupted, but if I don't respond enough he feels ignored. He also likes to talk on the phone all the time and I really really don't enjoy talking on the phone at all, especially for hours at a time. We talked every night for a couple weeks in the beginning. But after a bad fight i reminded him I don't like being on the phone and said I wanted some space, which had been on my mind prior to the argument. The next week we talk on the phone for like 3 nights for a few hours, and maybe a few other little calls here and there, but he says it's not enough
But the thing is.. even when we talked for hours every night and texted pretty often it still wasn't enough. The only time it was enough was a short window when I checked my phone pretty obsessively to make sure I didn't miss a message from him and always stopped what I was doing to take his call
If my snap score goes up when we're not talking he asks me about it. I don't know why but I feel uncomfortable explaining to him the other people I talk to in the day. And often I'm not even talking to them when I'm not talking to him- they send me snaps when I'm not on my phone. I don't respond to anyone unless I make sure I respond to him first to avoid this exact issue. I feel anxious when my friends snap me because I know my score will go up and he's going to ask me about it
For the most part, our fights presently revolve around him feeling like I don't care enough about our friendship or he's feeling ignored by me. But I really really don't know what to do anymore. I was talking on the phone for hours at a time, I was texting all the time and keeping my responses as long as possible.. I was planning movie days, etc. It was never enough.
He's upset my responses are getting shorter. And to be honest they have. Often times I talk about my life, especially someone else in my life, it triggers a fight. Not always in the moment but it always comes back to bite me in the butt later. Particularly if I'm hanging out with my roommate, because in my friends eyes he and I get to hang out with all time. Which we kind of don't- my time is far more devoted to my friend than my roomate. But even if it wasn't- I like hanging out with my roomate because we can quietly sit in the same room together, and we don't have any conflict. He is a very kind presence and I'm grateful to have him as a friend.
It's hard talking about your life while also revealing the bare minimum about your life, and so I'm responding kind of shortly about my things and just try to focus on him.
The fight we had a few days ago was about us not talking enough. Sort of. The reasons our fights go on for hours is because I don't know how to respond to him when he brings up an issue. I sincerely try my best and I try it all. When he brings something up I explain to him I understand his concerns, both using his exact words and in my own words I explain why he's upset. If I agree with him I will apologize and tell him how I'm going to fix it and I fix it, after we fight for a few hours ofc, because he doesn't believe I can understand/apologize and fix something so early into a conversation.
Other times he keeps pushing me to explain myself, but if I explain my pov, things really really blow up because I don't always agree with him. And I think he confuses me not agreeing with him to not understanding. One of our fights came because he was upset when I got home with my roommate at 1am, when I had a 3 hour drive at 8am the next morning. Which blows my mind, because he fought with me literally all night before I drove across the state. I didn't tell him that though, I said I didn't mind getting home till 1 because I had fun when I was out and will still get plenty of sleep. But we still fought.
Anyway... the other day he brought up he feels like we don't talk enough. And I said I understand it's hard but this is the boundary I'm setting because I don't enjoy being on the phone. We fight and he says that even when we do talk I'm not talking enough right now. We fight and I reluctantly told him I just don't feel comfortable opening up right now. We fight and fight and it's turning me into a person I dont know or how to control.
In the beginning of our relationship I was quiet and just agreed to everything he said to avoid the argument. This didnt always work but it tends to. Now I get so overwhelmed and angry after several hours I mute my phone and scream into my pillow. This last call I started hitting myself, which I've never done before, and the next day my cheeks were bumpy and itchy, my forehead was swollen, my scalp hurt to touch, and I'm still getting over my two black eyes. He did NOT cause me to hit myself and he doesn't know. I feel silly for doing it. But I find myself at my breaking point and I don't know how to manage these fights anymore.
After hours and hours I break down and I just start agreeing to whatever he says I'm wrong about because I want it to end. I repeat the very thing I said eight hours ago- what I'm wrong about and how I'm going to fix it, but only now after crying on the phone all night long is it kind of enough.
He sent me a long apology the morning after the fight and said he wouldn't do it anymore. I thanked him for not wanting those fights anymore. He sent me a pic of his dog and I said she was cute. That night I let our streak die. He messaged me this morning "you let our streak die" and I sat at my phone for ten minutes thinking of how to respond and eventually I just decided not to. He called me twice tonight at around 8pm and texted that he wanted us to talk for a bit, but i had made plans with another friend of mine a week ago to play animal crossing, so I did that and didn't respond to him. At 3am I saw he was typing on snapchat and I'm anxious because I've been receiving snaps and know my score went up, even though I have sent zero snaps to keep the number as low as I can
I know he wants to be friends still
But I sort of don't want to be friends anymore???? I really love the positive things in our relationship. In a lot of ways he was the best boyfriend and best friend I've ever had. But I can't do this anymore. I hate the person I am in these fights. I know he does not control my actions, it is not his fault I scream in my pillow or gave myself black eyes. But I have never in my life had any sort of romantic or friendly relationship like this. And I don't enjoy it. I really really love not fighting with my loved ones. And I really feel like no matter what I do to make him feel heard when he brings up an issue it's not enough. Every fight we have damages our friendship, which I've told him several times. I used to get over them easily but I am just so drained I always feel wary for the next blow up.
But I don't want him to feel like I'm abandoning our friendship? I don't know how to end a friendship? I've never had one end that wasn't a result of just growing apart. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wish I never opened my door when he came over. I'm supposed to go to my home state shortly and I'm very anxious about being in the same state as him

Rabies PEP Needed?
We live in Harvard, MA bascially in the middle of a giant forest next to a large lake. We have 2 dogs and we let them outside, unsupervised on a daily basis. We suspect that on occassion they may eat dead animals or things outside. There are certainly a good number of bats, foxes, racoons, and coyotes in the area.
The dogs were last vaccinated for rabies in early January of 2022. So it has been about 2.5 years since their last rabbies vaccination.
Last night at around 5pm one of the dogs jumped up quickly a licked our 14 month old daughter a few times inside her mouth (french kiss 🤢). We dragged him off but he definitely got saliva inside her mouth. To top it off our 14 month old has a cut on her lip from biting it accidentally as she is teething and not used to her teeth yet.
Dogs have been acting normal, not sick or exhibiting odd behavior. Have not noticed any bites or bite marks, but they have long hair so we wouldnt see something minor like a bat bite. And as mentioned, its possible they may be eating dead animals when we let them out unsupervised to roam around the forest.
Any doctors on this subreddit, or rabies treatment specialists, would post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) for rabies exposure be recommended in this case?
Thank you.

Basically, I’m a sucker for books where MC2 has been suffering in silence for a long time and has abandoned all expectations of a better life, but then suddenly MC1 realises what’s happening and devotes themselves fiercely to protecting MC2. I’d like the book to depict all three stages of the situation – starting with MC2 suffering and MC1 being oblivious, then showing the moment where MC1 realises what's happening, then showing the protection/comfort that comes after – but it doesn’t really matter to me what percentage of the book is devoted to which stage. I also don’t mind whether the reader knows about the suffering before MC1 or if they realise it at the same time, and I don’t mind what exactly the suffering consists of (most of the books l’ve read that fit the trope depict some kind of abuse, but it definitely doesn’t have to be that).
Some examples of books l've enjoyed that fit the trope: - Winter’s Orbit, Everina Maxwell – Kiem is a prince arranged to marry Jainan, who’s the widower of Kiem’s cousin Taam and who comes across as very cold and uptight. Eventually, Kiem realises that Taam was abusive, and that Jainan has assumed all marriages are like that and is now just waiting for Kiem to start hurting him. - A Strange and Stubborn Endurance, Foz Meadows – another arranged marriage one, but this time Vel was sexually assaulted by his ex before the marriage and expects it to happen again with his husband, Cae. Cae actually figures it out what’s happening ~30% of the way throunh the book, leaving a lot of time for the comfort side of things. - Orientation, Gregory Ashe – North & Shaw are best friends (and endgame lovers), North is in a physically abusive marriage but explains away the injuries as coming from boxing, eventually Shaw accidentally eavesdrops on him being beaten and is horrified. Interestingly, it takes a long time for Shaw to tell North that he’s figured out what’s happening. Shaw starts off by laying into North’s husband instead. - Prince of Agony, Tavia Lark – Kaz is a prince who releases magic when in pain, and this magic can then be harnessed by the person who inflicted the pain. His parents have whipped him in secret all his life and have taught him that everyone else will hurt him too if they know the truth, so he puts up a very cold front. Lucien is a prisoner at the palace whom Kaz has claimed as a personal slave, ostensibly to humiliate him but actually to protect him from a worse punishment, because he’s a total softie at heart. Lucien finally works out what’s going on and ends up basically defending Kaz from the other side of the power dynamic. - Empty Net, Avon Gale – Laurent is a minor-league hockey player who’s universally hated for acting like a jerk. He gets traded to a rival team as a back-up for their starter goalie, Isaac. Turns out that’s Laurent’s only like that because his father and ex-coach was horrifically abusive, and he’s gotten used to hurting people before they can hurt him. Isaac figures this out when he finds Laurent crying in the team shower with scars all over his back, and by the end of the book, the whole team has rallied together around him. - Two Man Station, Lisa Henry – Gio is a city policeman who used to date another officer on his team, but got him fired before the book starts – he blew the whistle about his ex’s drug use and how it was making him dangerously aggressive during arrests. The version of the story that spread through the police service was that Gio had made up a rumour about his ex to ruin his career, so he’s universally hated. His higher-ups transfer him to a small outback station as a kind of unofficial punishment, and his new partner, Jason, also gives him a very frosty reception. Eventually, Jason becomes the first person to learn not just the true circumstances of the firing, but also that Gio’s ex also used to beat him and that his old colleagues have been harassing him ever since the incident, including refusing to provide him with backup in the field, making anonymous phone calls threatening his niece, and sending unmarked packages containing dog food to his new station. Jason flips into being fiercely defensive of Gio, and it’s a delight to witness. - Watch Me, Sloane Kennedy – Jude is a high-flying businessman who comes across as very uptight and abrasive, but he’s actually just trying to hold down a high-stress job while dealing with severe ADHD and intense fear of failure from his time in foster care. Nikolai is his bodyguard who slowly sees through him and starts looking after him.
My ‘no’s in a book are: poly, incest including stepfamily stuff, BDSM (I can handle someone being tied up during sex or a tiny bit of a dom/sub vibe during sex, but nothing more intense than that), daddy kink, age play, and omegaverse.
Thanks so much everyone, really appreciate you even taking the time to read this far ❤️

This incident had occurred 6 weeks ago. Objectively, my (40M) intoxicated ex girlfriend (37M), at an already rocky phase of our relationship, once we all returned from a dinner party at my parents house, had demanded that i did not follow the routine of putting my autistic son (from the previous marriage) to bed and instead attended to her. Given that this was a typical, angry, relentless demand, that hours prior to it she had caused a scene at my parents, and that a week prior she stormed out of the house dispensing wishes that my kids should die of diabetes, i lost it and told her to eff off. I did and i regret it. I should not have said anything. In response to that she:

• got out of bed and walked into my sons room, grabbed the book that we were going to read, bear hugged and it laid down on the unoccupied bottom bunk of the bunk bed in my sons room, stating that we are not going to read.
• i laughed, asked for the book with various polite verbal persuasions, and as soon as i leaned towards her to try and take the book, i received several kicks in my stomach.
• She then walked from the room to the living room, and laid on the couch. I've followed her, and as she was laying down, she let go of the book. as i was walking back to my son's room now with the book, she had followed me, but stopped at the kitchen table, grabbed my phone and tried to unlock it (she has the password, nothing is hidden), but stated that she is doing it to delete the messages that proved that a week prior she wished that my kids died. I did try to grab the phone, but could not, and as she also could not unlock it she had thrown it, twice, i suppose in an effort to destroy it. On her third attempt i was able to grab my phone from her hands.
• She had then started grabbing me, my hands mostly, in order o get the phone. I don't think she was hitting me, but the risk that i was now facing is that this had turned into a violent confrontation. I was trying to get away from her, swerving my body and my phone in my hands out of the way and attempted to distance myself from her. I've managed to make it to the front door with her being all over me (physically trying to grab me) and i've exited the house. In my mind i was doing it as a deterrent so she would then be forced to prioritize on preventing our dogs from running out instead of focusing on me. This worked. I ended up with my phone on the front lawn and she went back into the house.
• I've then realized that she could lock me out, which is a risk with my son still being home, so i immediately went back inside. When i entered the house i saw her at the kitchen table: she lifted my work laptop and smashed in on the table, and as i started to approach her, she lifted it again and threw it against the wall. As i was now near her, she again turned on me in an attempt to get my phone from me.
• I again had to repeat my steps of exiting the house as she was clawing at my hands and grabbing me to get my phone. This time it was more challenging and forceful and i actually fell out of the house and down the steps )
• I did not know what to do next. I dialed 911. I've reported domestic disturbance.

I can think of several paths that i could have taken. I could have stood there and done nothing, allowing her to damage things at will. I could have also attempted to verbally persuade her as i would have watched her being uncivil. I could have applied force and this is what would have been interpreted as an assault and i would have been arrested. I could have tried physically comforting her, with a hug, that would have also been interpreted as an assault. I could have grabbed my kid and left the house, but how ? She was technically attacking me.
Any harm that she would have sustained would have been used against me, even accidental or self inflicted.
The phone call to 911 was an attempt for me to persuade her to stop, and it worked. As soon as she had heard the operator, she simply went back inside that house and went to bed.
I am regretting that this had occurred. Should it be assumed that relationships come with a risk of losing freedom? What would you have done differently when in such situation ?

First, for context; I was raised in a household where I would get either physically or mentally beaten if I did something wrong. For example, if I were to talk back to my mother she would mentally hurt me, which is why I have a low ego and constant suicidal thoughts. Now I'm an even worse person who gets mad every time someone comes into my room.
My mom believes that I am an asshole and I do too. I also get mad when anyone touches me without permission, causing me to flinch back and make them either worried or upset. I have lashed out at my own mother for touching me multiple times without permission and she tends to insult me when I do so.
I do have feelings, I'm not some emotionless person who doesn't care about anyone at all, (Not that people who hide their emotions are all like that) but I like to keep my bad emotions hidden since I used to get bullied for being the crybaby. My bad emotions are saved until I'm at home and reading, that's when I let all my bad emotions out. Nobody cares about how I'm doing (if I'm feeling bad), and I enjoy that lack of attention; which is why I like keeping my emotions hidden.
I found a quote that perfectly describes how I am in public: Chin up, Princess, or the crown slips. I'm not sure where it comes from, or who said it, but in my mind I'm always saying to myself Don't show your emotions, or you'll face bullying again. I hate myself for this, but I feel I should get over it.
Anyways, enough backstory, I just accidentally hurt my dog because I was mad, but gave her some treats right after because I felt bad. I feel like an asshole because I feel like I mentally hurt everyone around me. I don't deserve anyone who's nice to me because I just put on a mask so I can keep friends. I'm the definition of a faker and I don't get why I'm still alive if I just hurt everyone around me. I take everyone for granted and if they get mad at me my mask just slips off. The only negative emotion I show in public is anger and even when I do show my anger I just get backlash anyways so I always try to apologise either the next day or in the next 2 hours. Sorry to anyone who's actually taking time out of their day to read this, I know it's long. I've been forgotten by my father, who left when I was born; He doesn't even have partial custody and he forgot that I exist, leading him to forget my birthday last year. I'm basically the opposite of a narcissist, (for anyone reading this who doesn't know what a narcissist is: it's someone who has too high of an ego) meaning I hate everything about me, from my mind to my body to my personality to my life. I have thoughts of death every day and I know most people want long happy lives, but I don't.
I kind of just feel the want to get on a private jet as the pilot and purposely crash the plane.
I do self harm, but not cutting, I'll get into that later. I already have the tools to hurt myself. I sometimes pick at my body while finding everything that people hate about me, even if they don't say it. I honestly am a brat, and my mom is so helpful at cheering me up. Lies. She is awesome at making me feel better about myself. Lies. My dad is always there for me. Lies. My life is absolutely awesome. More lies. I honestly hate everything about me, like I already said. I feel like everyone I love is so happy and has a great life, other than this one friends of mine who is going through the same thing as me. We both seemed to have started getting suicidal thoughts for the same reasons. Our grandparents hate us (In my case grandparent) and they treat us like dog shit as if we're not human. We also started having these thoughts at the beginning of our fourth grade year (In which we were in the same class.) The only two things keeping me alive right now is that I'm a fucking pussy who can't act on her thoughts, and that I have things to research that I wish I had. A recent example was a study of skin cancer. I believe I have a disorder called Body Dysmorphia, meaning I see my body as a very disoriented version of it. People say I'm skinny but when I look in a mirror I see something different. I enjoy starving myself, which is one of the only types of self harm I do; The other type of self harm consists of picking at my skin with any objects that will pinch, basically I would use a crabs claw if I got that desperate to feel pain. Pain brings me joy for some reason. I'm not talented, I'm only skilled. I have nothing special to keep me going and I'm a financial burden on my already struggling mother. Sometimes I just think of killing myself but then I think about why my mom would think. All of her friends either forget about her, abandon her, or die.
I can't talk to my mom about anything, because she's not reliable with emotions. What I can rely on her to do is feed my want for my life to end quickly.
(Edit/correction: I hide my feelings at home as well.)

So long story short, my partner and I accidentally trained our dog to be hand fed.
When we brought home our corgi puppy, we already had an elderly Boston terrier. Our Boston was on a prescription diet which she did not like, but we kept at it. Our corgi puppy was eating the puppy food the breeder had him on (Nutrisource puppy). At meal times, the Boston would leave her food and go steal the puppy’s food and he would give up and go eat her food. To try to combat this, my partner would sit with one pup and I’d sit with the other.
When our corgi got neutered, the vet did a PennHip evaluation and the results were kind of bad. She put him on Science Diet Healthy Mobility, so that’s the kibble we feed. He also gets Flexadin once a day. After we found out about his hips, we were even more diligent in not allowing the two dogs to swap food bowls, so we sat with them and did everything to get them to eat their respective food.
Time went on and our Boston eventually passed away. Now our corgi puppy will not eat without someone sitting by him and hand feeding him. To add insult to injury, he will spend the first 15-20 minutes of meal time acting uninterested, despite the fact that he is clearly hungry (barking and running into the room when we say “breakfast” or “dinner”). We have tried several times to just put the food down and go with the “he will eat when he’s hungry” but he ended up going two days without eating and making himself sick, throwing up yellow bile and we had to take him to the vet.
Before getting a corgi, I extensively researched the breed. Everything I read said they are very food motivated, but he’s not at all. He only likes one type of treat, turns his nose up to any sort of fruit or veggie, and rejects all of the toppers. He just has no excitement for any food.
I know this is a lot, but I’m desperate for help. My corgi has a trainer and she is a tough love kind of person, so she says just let him go until he eats. The vet kind of agrees. They don’t realize he will not eat on his own. I guess what I’m looking for is any sort of advice. How can we retrain him to just eat on his own without us sitting there and hand feeding him?

The moment a lot of you have been waiting for is here!
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)

1. Direct quotes from Ali herself are in italics.
2. I tried my best to keep everything in timeline order. Some people like The Come Back Kid I placed in the order where they reconnected/talked about on the pod. But I did my best to note this.
3. All this information came from the FMH podcast, the Patreon, the original FMH blog, TikTok and other podcast that feature FMH/Ali. I also crossed reference information with this sub. I got most of this done with the help of the Patreon and listening to 1.75x speed but I lost accessed to the Patreon because my subscription ended.
4. I'm open to edits! Things around the matchmaker era confused me and if anything is incorrect or if I'm missing someone, please let me know! I will note where corrections are made.
5. Some people don't have anything simply because only a name was said or I couldn't find any details about the person/date
6. And of course, please be respectful of all the sub rules!

Names on the original FMH blog

• Mr. Adorable aka The Coach
• Trouble
• Waffles
• Future Husband Brian (FHB)
• Cookie
• Peter Pan
• Ambiguous Goodbye Guy
• Bad Bitch Man

AOL chatroom Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”

Starts FMH on January 2020 on Instagram/TikTok

The Traveler
He was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)

Ali and Roark start FMH: The Podcast February 2021

The Boomerang
First date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”

Ali’s Matchmaker contract starts in August 2021 - 6 matches

The Schmoozer
Went on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches

The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”

2022

The Discoball
Matched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO

Roark leaves and Erica joins the pod Oct 31st 2022

Captain Kirk
5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended

Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back

2023

The Falcon
First date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after her asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’

2024

Pie Guy/Dr. Laundry
Matched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22

I finally got the the knight section and accidentally made paladin danse my companion but I want to keep dog meat only thing is I have no idea where he is. I looked at the gestation and the sanctuary but he’s not there

I need some advice on whether I should feel the way I feel about my grandmother's actions or if I am missing something in this situation. I have lived with my grandparents my whole life, and my grandfather remarried a few years ago. At first, the woman he remarried was very nice to me, and she was even buying me gifts for certain occasions. Well, now let's fast forward to about a year when she finally moves in with us. At first, she was doing her own thing, would not get in the way of anybody, and would let us do our own thing. Now, I am going to fast-forward to now and just name out some things she has caused. She always criticizes my cleaning skills; she likes to bring me down by saying hurtful things; and she makes me feel guilty. When my cousin was staying with us a little while back, there was an incident where my cousin had accidentally tracked in dog poop into our house, and my grandmother had made my cousin get on her hands and knees and scrape up a small piece of dog poop with her own nail. Supposedly, she even wanted my cousin to wash the whole floor as well. From what I heard, she even said something nasty to my cousin, but I don't know if that is true or not. There was even an incident where an argument almost broke out between my cousin's mother and her on the phone. She always finds a way to point out my flaws. For example, today, she had made a meal for us to eat, and I had eaten most of the meal but could not finish. When I told her I get full really easily, she proceeded to give me this nasty look, change her tone, and raise her voice. She had asked me if I was anorexic, and that is why I can't finish a full meal. She didn't even finish her own meal. There is a lot more to this whole situation and the way she has acted for the last few years toward me and others in our family, but I just want to know: am I being overdramatic and overthinking this, or is this something that really should not be happening? This has turned into an everyday experience, and I am starting to feel like I have to change into this different person I do not want to be, just to please her. It's getting very draining. If anyone has any advice, please let me know! Thank you for reading this.

I was just randomly thinking about this since I think frenworld was a rather peculiar era in my internet life and I have a theory about the subreddit and I was curious if I could catch anyone who also remembers this subreddit. I will provide the RationalWiki description of the word Fren.

Fren is a corruption of the word "friend". It is a dog whistle used by a subsection of the alt-right, commonly found on the FrenWorld subreddit on Reddit. The idea is to talk like a small child or intellectually disabled person while still talking about general alt-right bigotry, the pattern of which emerged with the aforementioned Apu Apustaja meme.
Closely connected to the honkleClown World memes, the Honkler and other Pepes can be seen in many of their memes. After the CringeAnarchy subreddit was shut down when the moderators refused to delete posts calling for genocide, many users migrated to the FrenWorld subreddit, which was shut down in June 2019. This word is also used by fans of the band Twenty One Pilots, plus it is the name of Swedish streamer Vargskelethor's mascot character, so check the context.

I personally have always felt that this doesn't quite capture the purpose of frenworld. The point of frenworld was to get neurodivergent reddit users to migrate to 4Chan for further radicalisation. It had at the time been described as "a 4Chan colony" but this doesn't convey the full truth, it was a 4Chan radicalisation operation.
I have frequently returned to this in my mind because it's always been a curiosity of my angsty teen years and was wondering if anyone here actually remembers this subreddit and agrees with my conclusions.
Probably half of the subreddit's users were not from 4Chan but instead were people expressing their identity in a non-gender conforming way in a way they hadn't before and this was to its unaware memebers, was a comforting social community to be part of. I say this because this was a type of community which had a vibe which I would only see again later when I became more aware of my neurodivergence. Yes the subreddit was established and ran by the far right, but I was part of the target demographic and the far right has had a long time sicceeding in recruitment of neurodicergent folks because progressives of the era spent far too much time accidentally alienating neurodivergent people. The Neurodiversity movement exploded in the aftermath of the decline if the 'Intellectual Dark Web' even if the roots were planted at the same time as the modern far right. Before Neurodiversity was more popularised many of us literally had no representation in the discourse and our issues were ignored by far too many progressives.
Especially for young white men like myself, we spent our lives facing oppression and bullying from a source we didn't understand, and it made it easier to spoonfeed us the far right narritive since there wasn't an alternative explanation which we heard and made sense of. That's why the gamergate era was something I easily jumped onto, because why was I suffering? Well clearly progressives must had seemed hypocritical or narrow sighted, where theu cared about other minorities but didn't often even acknowledge the issues our minority faces from ableism.
Of course there has been a Neurodiversity movement since the 1990's and there have been passionate disability activists since the industrial revolution. The difference is the online culture of gamergate was greatly shaped by neirodivergent hands and I will not concede this hill since the reactionary tendency of the online right started in terminally online apaces which self-professed things like autism very openly. The term autist isn't a result of people wanting to appropriate autism, it was led by reactionary autistic people and eventually the word autist became synonymous with the right. There would had been a lot more open resistance to this from autistic people if it wasn't for the fact that the gamergate era alienated young autistic white men, who at the time and still are the majority of diagnosed people. Obviously this is because of the autism criteria being flawed and implicit racial bias around neuro-cognitive behaviour, additionally culture plays a role in diagnosis rates, especially people of atypical cultrual backgrounds.
The point I am making is, Neurodiversity if popularised sooner could had saved so many lives. Neurodiversity saved my life, and I am hoping it has saved the loves of other people in a position like my own identity wise. Hence why I believe that if I ask people here if theh remember frenworld perhaps I can gain more insight into my theory.
I think these questions are quite important to investigate as theu can help us make sense of our lives and pasts. I am so proud of where I am today, and reflecting on this makes me appreciate how far I have come personally.