Hey everyone. Just stopping by to ask how does everyone watch new episodes and if anyone uses any of the free streaming like Pluto TV? My fiancé is a huge fan of the show and right now we have Sling TV set up but looking to see if there are other options out there. Thanks

Hi all you Critters, I come seeking guidance! Maybe you can help me out.
I used to faithfully watch C3 episodes as they were uploaded to YouTube every week, but long story short, life happened and I couldn't keep up anymore. I finally have a bit more free time, and I really want to get back into things and catch up. However, I have 42 episodes to go from when I left off in order to be current. The thought of watching through each one is overwhelming.
Do you all have any advice as to which episodes are must-sees/hears? It breaks my heart not to watch every second, but I might go insane if I tried to do that. Or maybe not must-sees, but an episode in particular I should just skip to where I wouldn't be totally lost and could catch up from there? I've seen the introduction of Deanna and FRIDA, and I was considering the possibility of just skipping to when it picks up with the other half of the group (ep. 59) to see what happened there, but I don't want to miss anything important. Sorry if this information is already listed somewhere and I missed it.
I stopped at Ep. 52, the episode right after the Apogee Solstice party split! Thanks so much for any help you can provide.

During the height of my high regard for the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), among the movies of which I had been a major fan were the Captain America releases. At least two of them. The third film in this mini franchise - 2016's "CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR" proved to be a major disappointment for me. However, when I heard that Disney and Marvel Films had plans to air a miniseries about the characters Sam Wilson aka the Falcon and James "Bucky" Barnes aka the Winter Soldier, I must admit that I felt a renewed interest in the franchise again.
When I said a renewal of the MCU franchise, I meant it. Aside from a few movies like "ANT-MAN", "BLACK PANTHER", "CAPTAIN MARVEL" and "ETERNALS"; the MCU had become a major disappointment for me ever since the release of 2015's "THE AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON". One might ask . . . what about the MCU television productions that aired on the Disney Plus streaming channel? Aside from one production that I somewhat liked and one that I loved, most of them have been disappointing to me. Unfortunately, I have to include this follow-up to the Captain America movies, "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER".
Set six months after 2019's "THE AVENGERS: ENDGAME", "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER" followed former war veteran/Avenger Sam Wilson, who has resumed working the for the U.S. government, while using his role as the Falcon. When the government recruits Sam to track down and deal with a group of enhanced anarchists known as "the Flag Smashers", former World War II veteran/HYDRA tool/Avenger James "Bucky" Buchannan aka the Winter Soldier decides to join Sam in his mission, due to his lingering guilt as a former HYDRA assassin and their shared experiences as Steve Rogers' close friends and battling Thanos and his army.
Since "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER" had aired on the DisneyPlus channel in six episodes, I had seriously considered ranking the episodes. But like Season three of the Marvel Netflix series, "DAREDEVIL", the more I watched "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLIDER", the more it disappointed me. Aside from complaints about its pacing, the limited series had received a great deal of praise from critics and fans alike. Because of this, I believe it was one of the most overrated productions in the MCU history. People had seemed so focused on little moments and scenes that very few had noticed how the series' narrative seemed to be all over the map. For example:
~\Sam Wilson~* - This limited series is supposed to be a follow up to the events of "ENDGAME" in which Sam had received the Captain America shield from an aging Steve Rogers, a sign for him to take up the latter's costumed role. Was this an attempt by Marvel Films/Disney to make Sam a more relevant character? If so, why? Why did a MCU character have to replace Steve as the new Captain America to be more relevant? Why not allow Sam to continue as the Falcon, only push his role to the forefront as one of the franchise's new leading characters? Some might accuse me of not wanting a black man as Captain America, a topic that was brought up in the series. Frankly, I never wanted another character - regardless of race, gender or ethnicity - to become the new Captain America. That includes Bucky Barnes. Allow Steve Rogers to fade into the background and let Sam (as the Falcon) shine as one of the franchise's new leads. However, the die has been cast. One can only sit back and see if moviegoers are willing to accept Sam as the new Captain America.
Perhaps the MCU had to make Sam the new Captain America in order to make him more relevant. Why would I say that? The showrunner for "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER", Malcolm Spellman, came dangerously close to shoving Sam into the role of the second lead or worst, a role he has been since his debut in 2014's "CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER" - a supporting character. During the series' first three or four episodes, someone other than Sam (either Bucky Barnes or Helmut Zemo - two white men) made decisions that allowed the plot to move forward, not Sam. He was simply regulated to being an observer or reactor. The series even managed to undermine Sam's decision not to support the Sokovia Accords in "CIVIL WAR". In thee 2016, Sam became the first Avenger to speak out against the Accords and declare his intentions not to sign it. Yet, according to Bucky in this series, Sam had merely followed Steve's example in rejecting the Accords. And Spellman did nothing to allow Sam to correct this misconception.
~\James "Bucky" Barnes~* - One of the few aspects of "CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR" I found enjoyable proved to be the interactions between Sam Wilson and Bucky Buchannan. Despite their lingering jealousy and competition over the role as "Steve Rogers' best friend", the pair's interactions proved to be very entertaining, thanks to the screen chemistry between Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan. Unfortunately, Mackie and Stan could not save "CIVIL WAR" for me. Nor could they save "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER", due to its problematic writing. A good deal of that writing surrounded Bucky's character. I have so many questions about his role in this series. For example:
-Why would any official of the Joint Counter Terrorist Center allow Bucky to visit and question Helmut Zemo, the man responsible for the U.N. conference bombing in Vienna, in "CIVIL WAR"? That made very little sense to me. Surely the JCTC authorities remembered how Zemo managed to brainwash Bucky into making his own prison break in "CIVIL WAR"? Also, Bucky was on parole for his activities as a brainwashed HYDRA assassin. Yet, the JCTC had allowed him to visit Zemo? Surely, the showrunner could have allowed Sam, who was serving the U.S. government again, to be the one to visit and question Zemo?
-How on earth did Bucky managed to evade being arrested and charged for helping Zemo escape from the JCTC? The U.S. and other governments should have been suspicious of Bucky after learning about his visit to Zemo.
-Bucky came off as an arrogant school jock, who thought he was entitled to get his way - especially in his interactions with Sam. I found it hilarious that many fans had criticized John Walker aka Captain America aka U.S. Agent for such toxic behavior. Yet, they had turned a blind eye to Bucky's own behavior. And so did the series - up until the last two episodes. Why did the showrunner allow Bucky to get away with this behavior toward Sam for so long without any complaints from the latter?
-I did not care how Bucky had bullied his way into Sam's mission without the latter's consent. What I found even more annoying was the U.S. government's decision to allow Bucky to join Sam's mission after that ludicrous "therapy session" they were forced to attend together.
~\Racism -~* A good number of MCU fans had complained about the inclusion of racism in "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER". I had no problems with this direction, considering the story was about Sam, an African-American man, becoming the new Captain America. However, I had a good deal of problems with how the production explored the topic of racism.
The story of Isaiah Bradley, Marvel's second Captain America, had originated in the comics. In the MCU, he was a Korea War veteran whom the United States Army used as one of several unwilling African-American test subjects for their version of the Super Soldier serum. I realize that both Marvel Comics and the MCU had attempted to use Bradley's experience as a metaphor for the Tuskegee Syphilis Study. The problem is that I cannot see the U.S. government and the Army - both racist organizations in the early 1950s - be willing to risk the possibility of creating a non-white super soldier. Despite the recent desegregation of the Armed Forces in the late 1940s. And both the government and the Army had been more than willing to use white soldiers in other experiments.
After saving a group of black American super soldiers from a prison camp, Bradly was imprisoned by the U.S. government for thirty years. I saw nothing wrong with this twist in the character's narrative, until I remembered two things - Bradley had been able to free his fellow soldiers without anyone's help; and nearly sixty years later, Steve Rogers managed to break into the Raft and free those Avengers who had refused to sign the Sokovia Accord. Why was Bradley unable to free himself from prison? This is the man who had defeated the Winter Soldier by breaking the latter's metal arm. And he was not powerful enough to make a prison break, let alone evade capture?
I had assumed Sam's difficulty in becoming the new Captain America would stem from the government's reluctance to recruit a black man for the position. That would explain their decision to recruit the blond-haired John Walker instead. But the series never really made it clear whether political racism had played a role in Walker's recruitment. The series also had James "Rhodey" Rhodes had paid Sam a visit, emphasizing the importance of the new Captain America being black. As it turned out, Sam's own insecurities about becoming Captain America had more to do with him not initially assuming the role. There was also that interesting scene outside Bradley's Baltimore home where the police arrested Sam during verbal argument with Bucky. Although the cops backed away when they recognized Sam as an Avenger, they ended up arresting the parolee Bucky for missing his required therapy appointment. This scene was supposed to be a case of racial profiling. But . . . we might as well be honest. In the real world, the police would not have backed down from hassling Sam. What I found more disturbing was the production's handling of Bucky's arrest. Once the police discovers that Sam was an Avenger; they turned to arrest Bucky for failing to show up for his missing his therapy session. Not only did the police arrest Bucky with a more gentle behavior, they did so, accompanied by Henry Jackman's mournful score, something that did not accompany the moment of Sam being arrested. Were the audiences expected to notice the hypocrisy and racism in the police's handling of the two men? Expected to feel sympathy for Bucky? Or both?
The last episode featured a scene of two black kids playing with toy Captain America shields. Someone had commented that the shields (especially in the hands of non-white children) represented hope to the future of race relations in the United States. Why? How? This country had a biracial president for EIGHT YEARS. Yet, U.S. racial policies have remained problematic even to this day. I can say the same for other countries. The so-called symbolism of this scene only reminded me of how human beings put so much faith in imagery and symbolism. And this strikes me as a FALSE FAITH. Why was taking up the mantle of a costumed hero that had been previously occupied by a white man, the only way for Sam Wilson to become relevant within the MCU franchise? What was wrong with him being "the Falcon"? Sam becoming the next Captain America was not going to save the U.S. in regard to race relations - not in real life and not in the fictional world of the MCU. Looking back on the series, the series' only scenario that seemed to expose racism in a realistic manner, proved to be Sam's failure to acquire a bank loan for his family's fishing boat in Louisiana.
~\Sharon Carter~* - I am certain many MCU fans are aware of this. One of Marvel Comics' most iconic couples happened to be Steve Rogers aka Captain America and Sharon Carter aka Agent 13. She also happened to be the great-niece of Peggy Carter, Steve's love interest during World War II. Portrayed by Emily VanCamp, Sharon was first introduced as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent in "CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER" as a potential love interest for Steve. Despite Sharon's appearance in the following Captain America movie, "CIVIL WAR", their romance never really developed. Many blamed the lack of chemistry between VanCamp and Chris Evans. I never had a problem with their screen chemistry. I had a problem with the lack of relationship development between Sharon and Steve. And I blame Kevin Feige's decision to transform the third Captain America film into a third (and badly written) pseudo Avengers movie. The change in the film's narrative, along with Sharon's failure to appear in "THE AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR" and "ENDGAME", left no opportunity for Sharon and Steve to become the romantic pair they had been in the comics. Instead, Sharon became a fugitive from the U.S. government after helping Steve and Sam hunt down Bucky, moved to Madripoor, a city-state with no U.S. extradition and became an embittered criminal known as "the Power Broker".
After "CIVIL WAR", nearly five years had passed before Sharon appeared in another MCU production - namely this series. And what happened? The franchise, with Spellman, ended up completely destroying her character by transforming her into the villain known as Power Broker, the criminal leader of an Indonesian city-state called Madripoor. After helping Steve and Sam acquire their suits and equipment in order to go after Bucky in "CIVIL WAR", Sharon lost her job with the C.I.A. and became a fugitive. She eventually moved to Madripoor, a city-state with no U.S. extradition, to evade capture, survived Thanos' Snap and became an embittered criminal nicknamed "the Power Broker" in order to survive the new world.
What really pissed me off about Sharon's arc between "CIVIL WAR" and "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER" is that her development into a major villain all happened OFF SCREEN. Off screen. Apparently, screenwriters for "INFINITY WAR" had written a draft that included Sharon in the movie. But according to Christopher Markus, he and Stephen McFeeley could not imagine scenes featuring Steve and Sharon trying to make it work in an apartment, because the 2018 movie did not have time to focus on their personal life. Why did Marvel simply fail to allow Sharon to be part of Steve's vigilante team - like Sam and Natasha Romanoff? I mean . . . good fucking grief! And why did Malcolm Spellman believe the only way Sharon could be interesting was to become a villain in "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER"? This was his idea of improving Sharon's character?
~\Helmut Zemo aka Baron Zemo~* - Why did Malcolm Spellman, Kevin Feige and the MCU thought it necessary to bring back Helmut Zemo, the Sokovian-born villain from "CIVIL WAR"? What role did he play in "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER"? I realize that Bucky, of all people, visited the incarcerated Zemo to acquire information on who had created the super-soldier serum that empowered the Flag Smashers. But why did he believe Zemo could provide the answer? Because he thought HYDRA was involved? Bucky or Sam could have searched for information from sources other than Zemo, who had been incarcerated for . . . what? Eight years? Eight years. Zemo managed to become something of a crowd-pleaser, thanks to Daniel Brühl's performance. Otherwise, I found his presence in this series unnecessary.
~\The Big Bad~* - Why on earth did it take this series so long to finally reveal the main villain's identity? At first, the series hinted the Flag Smashers, led by Karli Morgenthau. However, the series tossed other potential candidates for the Big Bad before viewers - John Walker, Helmut Zemo and yes, Sharon Carter. But in the end, Morgenthau and her group proved to be the main villains.
The Flag Smashers were a group of empowered people who believed the world was a better place between Thanos' Snap and the Blip (resurrection of those who had died during the Snap), when Humans around the world managed to unite and form a borderless society, one in which people helped others without any thought to nationalism and bias. Thanks to the Avengers, the world resumed its conflicts between nationalities and other groups. In other words, the borders returned.
Frankly, I have nothing against this ideal. Only Ms. Morgenthau and her followers resorted to violence and terrorism to achieve their goals. Does this sound familiar? It should. The Flag Smashers proved to be another example of characters with a progressive goal, resorting to extremism and becoming villains. This seemed to be a growing trend within the franchise, which I believe began with Erik "Killmonger" Stevens aka Prince N'Jadaka in 2018's "BLACK PANTHER". Since then, the MCU has not looked back at its growing roster of progressive villains. Perhaps I should not have been surprised. The franchise's ambiguous portrayal of an unconstitutional document like the Sokovia Accords, should have been the wake-up call. It seemed as if Kevin Feige, Marvel Films and Disney Studios had finally exposed themselves for the faux progressives they pretend to be. Frankly, this form of villainy has become tiresome to me.
After writing this article, I had considered ranking the six episodes featured in "THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER" anyway. But I decided against it. My dislike of the series made it impossible for me to even bother. Being a fan of the first two Captain America movies, I had truly hoped this series would redeem the franchise. Unfortunately, it proved to be just as disappointing as "CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR". Pity. Perhaps the fourth film, "CAPTAIN AMERICA: BRAVE NEW WORLD" will do the trick. I hope so.

• Drama: OMG! Vampire
  • Native Title: แวมไพร์ไวน์แดง
• Country: Thailand
• Studio: Very Great Channel (Physical Therapy, Crazy Handsome Rich)
• Premiere Date: May 19 , 2024
• Socials:
  • Trailer
  • Instagram
  • X
  • Tik Tok
• Airing Schedule: Monday
  • Episodes: 10
• Streaming Sources: WeTV/w4100jv324q-Teaser%3A%20Vampires%20will%20live%20with%20humans%20and%20how%20they%20survive%3F%20%7C%20OMG%20Vampire) (Uncut)
• Director: Phadej Onlahung (Dear Doctor, I’m Coming For Your Soul, Work from Heart)
• Starring:
  • "Frank" Thanatsaran Samthonglai (2gether, Love Syndrome III, Crazy Handsome Rich)
  • Lee Long Shi ( Love Syndrome III, Crazy Handsome Rich)
  • David Kittikawin Justice
  • "Kan" Kan Tangruek
  • “Son” Ravisut Patipatvasin (Crazy Handsome Rich)
  • "Non" Nonpawit Lertrommayanant
  • “Sugus” Buntawit Tragulpanich (Golden Blood)
  • "Bonus" Tanadech Deeseesuk (Gen Y, Gen Y 2, What Zabb Man)
  • "Big" Thanakorn Kuljarassombat (Gen Y, Gen Y 2, Something in My Room, Big Dragon)
• Plot Synopsis: After waking from a century-long sleep, vampire Phum finds that the land of vampires has banned gen-x vampires from falling in love. The new law doesn't suit Phum and he invites his gang of close friends—Sen, Run, Mix and Jolie—to flee to the land of humans where people have more freedom. Getting there, however, won't be easy. They'll need to put their names down in the Bible of Life and take the bodies of their parallel human selves, mindful that there may be consequences. Phum finds himself living the life of a broken-hearted young man. Life in the land of humans is turning out to be a chaotic undertaking when he meets Patrick, the owner of a secret bar, and ends up working for him.
• Conduct Reminder: In case you need it feel free to click for a Reddiquette refresher. Main takeaway: don't be an asshole.
  • This subreddit is for civil discussions of BL media and opinions. Controversial topics are allowed so long as all rules are being followed. Discussions can get heated, but under no circumstances should anyone threaten, belittle, or otherwise harass another user. This means do not insult another user's appearance, intelligence, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, etc. Use common sense. Discuss BL and not each other.
• Spoiler Tag Reminder: Be mindful of others who may not have yet seen this drama, and use spoiler tags when discussing key plot developments or other important information. You can create a spoiler tag by writing > ! this ! < without the spaces in between to get this spoiler.
  
• Previous Discussions:
  
• Recommendations: Like vamps with your BL 🧛 ? Maybe you’d enjoy…
  
  • Red Wine in the Dark Night
  • Kissable Lips
  • 1000 Years Old
  • Discipline Z: Vampire
  • Bite Fight

Tyler, J'ACCUSE! I am a gracious listener (and sometimes viewer) on Spotify and I have been sorely disappointed recently with my listening/viewing experience. I pay with my hard-earned money for the grace of Spotify Premium and it's AD FREE experience. Although I understand the need for ads to support this podcast, it's getting ABSURD. When I'm listening, at the beginning and end of each episode, I get as many as 5 ads IN A ROW all on the same topics (Viator, Hyundai, and Get Your Guide being the most common). Even DURING the episode, I will hear a moment of silence and dread the inevitable first line of a Get Your Guide ad which is promptly followed by 2 or 3 others. When I'm listening during my various driving adventures, how could you POSSIBLY expect me to skip all these ads without crashing my car? I have attached some images of my numerous wrecks while trying to skip these incessant ads. I expect something to be done IMMEDIATELY before I wreck my 5th car. There is no other solution. Thank you for your consideration.
​
P.S. I now have a crippling sports betting addiction after getting a Draft Kings ad during the sports betting episode. I've lost $184,000.

Welcome UJUNGS!!!

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VIDEO RECAP

• [240510] Dayoung - A goal is scored⚽💨 Gushing hat trick🌊! A collection of all-time hat tricks by women.ZIP SBS 'Kick a Goal'
• [240513] Dayoung - Everyone, I~ Out of this world, oh it's delicious. Can I have another bowl? Unlimited Chatter Episode 3 (ENG SUB)
• [240514] Luda - Europe/CANNESERIES/Nice (ENG SUB)
• [240514] HAPPY DAYOUNG DAY LIVE🎂 (ENG SUB)
• [240515] A story, Dayoung came to Paris to have fun and then escaped from Paris🤚🏻(Episode Preview) (ENG SUB)
• [240516] Seola - Without U MONTBEST Live
• [240515] Dayoung - The best win🥳 The best gift🎁 FC Top Girl post-match locker room SBS 'Kick a Goal'
• [240515] Dayoung - Immediate elimination upon loss, Choi Jincheul's FC Top Girl VS Kim Byungji's FC National Family, who is the final winner? SBS 'Kick a Goal' Preview
• [240515] Dayoung - Ticket to the final 6! revenge match🔥 FC National Family VS FC Top Girl Match Highlights⚽! SBS 'Kick a Goal'
• [240516] Dayoung's TikTok Update
• [240516] Dayoung's TikTok Update with Exy
• [240517] Dayoung's TikTok Update with Exy
• [240518] Dayoung's TikTok Update
• [240518] Dayoung's TikTok Update (2)

I I guess I'm looking for validation that this is textbook, and I am looking at this correctly. I guess that is the effect of being gaslit - you don’t know your reality is really your reality. But I am here, and asking for help, because I will need to see him for the next 12 years (our kids go to the same school). This will be in passing and at events, but I am traumatized, still recovering, and just scared. I am looking for some insights because I spent about 2 months trying to fit my story into a box of emotional and narcissistic abuse…. But it's not that....I see that now. If you are able to share tidbits of knowledge, or point me in the direction of more clarity, I would appreciate it so much. Thank you so so much.
I am going to write out the cliff notes. I imagine a lot of you can fill in the parts I leave out as from what I read on here, it’s typical.
I met him walking my kid to school. He walked the same way every day. Over time, we became friends, and I learned he was trying to leave his marriage. Once he did, the relationship happened fast – too fast. He seemed so 100 percent sure of me and it was odd. I often looked disheveled walking to school and tired….I am not sure what he saw in me. But, I felt sure of him too, but wanted to go slower. I tried to slow it down, but at the same time, didn't. I am responsible for that. I felt like a hamster on a wheel after a few weeks and was able to tell him that I need the weekdays for myself, for my work, and for my kid. He seemed to respect that.
But he often romanticized the first few weeks together....even in the last days.
Quickly, I started to notice the emotional dysregulation. There was a lot going on for him: moving out, going through the divorce, parenting, work….so I understood it. I was also still getting to know him. Then severe trauma responses and triggers started happening. They would lead to these large child-like reactions with a lot of tears and anger. I didn't understand it but knew enough to know he had trauma to work through, and perhaps was feeling it for the first time. Each time this happened, there was nothing I could say to help or get him out of it, he would blame me a lot and say I was the cause, and he expected me (without saying it) to be there for him 110% even though I couldn’t. And truthfully, I didn’t want to….I wanted him to be able to handle that for himself or realize it was an issue. I didn't have the tools to deal with it and suggested he try deeper therapy. He agreed.
When he first met with the therapist, she told him it is like a virus takes over his brain and he is convinced in those moments. That was music to my ears at the time. But that is the last time I felt that way.
After a few months of this cycle continuing, I started detoriating. First my mental health, and then my physical health. I couldn’t breathe. I felt like we couldn’t go a few days without him reacting to something small. I wrote in my journal many times “there's no amount of validation I can give this person.”
I didn't point it to excessive adoration and validation, I could not see that really, but if he texted me 5 things and I responded to all 4 logistical ones and ended with "love you too" I was chastised. If I was driving and did not respond to an “i love you,” I was called out for it. At the end of October, I told him I needed the weekend to clean my apartment. It happened to be 60 degrees that day and of course, I would have preferred to be outside, but I am an adult and could not blow off my commitment to myself to clean. That day he messaged me 18 times that me missed me. He kept inviting me out. I kept asking him to stop, because clearly I would prefer to do something else than clean, but needed to. The missing was excessive. I didn’t even know what he meant. We lived next door to eachother. That night, I had to work, and he was upset with me because to him, it was optional and I should have chose to see him.
There were so many moments when he wanted so much comfort I couldn't provide. We were both single parents. That kind of affection goes to my kid....and I couldn't give it to him in that way. He would even want the affection when he hurt me.
He would see my daughter freak out at me and then say that I don’t love her enough, and he would joke they are the same….
It wasn’t a joke?
As time went on, and his therapy went on, and he felt validated by the therapist, the blame came on more and never left. It started in August, and even when I'd get an apology, it would be for the impact (what I'm responsible for) and not his intent. He'd argue with me over seeing his intent clearly. I'd say I don't care about your intent, you're killing me. It didn’t matter, nothing did.
I never felt like we could repair any incidents. As the blame went on, I really questioned myself. I wondered if he was right. What if I don't love enough? What if I don't receive love well? I've been in therapy for 20 years and know I have limitations but I'm not an asshole…
I felt coerced a lot of the time.
I felt he wanted me to change a lot....he wanted me to be less blunt, more loving, more balanced, work less even though he was awful with money, have sex when sick, injured or mentally dead from the day, always be happy to see him, don't be affected by the trauma responses and don't try to talk to him about it, don't take space and if I do, prepare for some kind of punishment, love him and miss him endlessly, do everything together, if I am dysregulated, he wanted me to regulate with him….
I noticed I started taking precautions to keep myself dafe. I didn’t realize I was setting boundaries to prevent the abuse but I was. I’d say I was busy when I wasn’t. I wouldn’t accept or ask him to get me from the airport, knowing I would not be 100% happy after a flight and that would cause a fight (as it did). I didn’t ask for help, and when I did ask for help, I would expect the help to not happen. I did not communicate anything he did “wrong” (like, you said you would drop off quarters for laundry on monday….do you have them?)
There were a lot of moments we would have deep conversations and I felt like we were getting somewhere, that he heard me.
I'll fast forward to the end because this is already way longer than I wanted….and it’s sad that I know it could be so much longer.
In the last month, he reacted and blamed me for everything. There were at least 5 major incidents. After the last one, I told him I was done. It was really bad and left me spending $50 to uber home in the snow, when I could barley walk as is (I had a herniated disc in my back and could barley walk). That month, I lost health insurance, and after begging for time to just take care of the injury, he told me we need intensive couples counseling. I had asked to just continue our therapist until we could change. That wasn't enough. The next weekend he asked me to go to a Gottman weekend. I said I couldn't leave my kid to do that right now and needed to take care of my help.
After that snow episode, that was really bad, laced with blame in the unpacking, I said I'm done, I can't do it. I was crying uncontrollably. I was scared. I really did not know who I was speaking to. After an hour, right when I needed to leave, he snapped out of whatever mindset he was in and told me he'd do anything, that he would work on anything, to please stay. I had to go, I could not think anymore. So in desperation, the only thing I asked for was to go alone on a trip with my daughter. He was scheduled to come with us. I said I needed time just with her. He agreed.
And honestly, he held up his end of the bargain....until he didn't.
3 days before the trip everything fell apart. I worked 12 hours that day and at the end of the day, went to pour water in a cup at home. It was the only time we had together before I left for the week. He hugged me from behind while I was pouring the water (....remember herniated disc in my back). I asked him to please stop and just let me have a second to pour the water.
He said "there's no turning back from this" and got his stuff to leave. I was floored. I was so upset because I knew where this was going - the blame game. He left, wouldn't come back, and then continued to blame me for the next 2 days about how I was an asshole the days before, only spent time with him out of obligation (not true), and rewrote history. I had a stomach bug all weekend and could not eat, but still tried to hang out as much as I reasonably could, and that was not enough.
The water incident was Wednesday, Thursday he had therapy and reinforced the blame, and I ended up leaving without saying goodbye. It was a week. I wanted to believe this relationship could survive a week. But I was clear with him days before: I am working up until I need to leave Friday so I can have real time off with my kid. He was upset I did not find him to say goodbye, even though he made no attempt to make peace earlier. But of course, my fault.
That night, he claimed down. Was nice. But it was a trap. After 12 hours of him being nice in text he said he was only doing it hoping I felt remorse and realized how wrong I was. He told me over and over he wouldn't see it differently. He said he read the transcript of our texts to 2 therapists and his friends and it’s clear: I am wrong. May be important to name here that we are both in our late 30’s.
I said that I want to work this out and I'll talk when we can actually discuss it and I'm willing to hear his side but not willing to blindly take all responsibility. He nailed me on every response, telling me how wrong my response was and what I should have done differently.
I was with my kid and could not talk. When I said "why are you doing this now, you know I can’t really respond" he told me to stop avoiding.
That night, he ghosted me for the first time in the relationship and I panicked. I called him a few times. No answer.
The next day, despite him never doing that to me before, he called me controlling for calling.
At 7am the next morning he told me our relationship was over in a text. This man, who 7 days before was professing his love and understanding of me ended the engagement in a text. This of course continued with a back and forth. I asked him to please stop. To please pause and talk to me when i'm back in 5 days. He told me to fight for the relationship or it was over. I said “I am just waking up with my 7 year old, in a hotel, please stop.” I asked him to attend couples therapy in 3 days to talk this out. He said “you accept all responsibility and change your behavior or we are done.” I asked if he was willing to talk and he said the problem was my perception and that it's wrong, so unless I change we are done. I knew this wasn't ok but I was so blindsided I did not know what to do. He agreed to go to couples therapy Thursday. We barley talked. There were a few more messages of him telling me he needs to know I can live a drama free life and celebrate his love and see it all as beautiful (almost verbatim). At this point, all I wanted to do is keep the dial down. I pushed back saying, “I cannot teach my daughter that someone can just tell her that her emotions and feelings are wrong, I hope you will be willing to talk and we can get on the same page.”
He agreed to go to couples therapy, and then didn't show up. He texted me 10 minutes before saying he was not going. I begged and pleaded. But he had the couples therapist to tell me he wasn't going to go. He had her tell me. I lost it. I lost my mind. I had been reeling for days. Not sleeping. Putting on a fake smile all day with my kid while I was dying inside. Staying up late to cry, process, read, figure out wtf was going on…
I called him about 10 times and of course, he told me it was inappropriate. He then picked up and gave me 10 minutes. He again wanted me to take all responsibility for everything. I was so shaken, I just fawned. I said ok. When I'm back I hope we can talk but if you want me to accept blame for now, fine.
Everything was calmer for 2 days until we were heading back and he texted me something along the lines of "don't fool me" I was like wtf? He said "there's no turning back. There's no other chances." I was like wait what? And then it was "don't make me look like a fool" I had no idea what was going on. I was like "um what is this?" He essentially was reinforcing his stance: I am to blame for everything in the present and past. If I try to talk to him about his side I'm wrong. I need to repent and one wrong move (defined by him) is a misstep and there's no room for error (his words). I was like....I will be in a relationship based in reality, and I will own my part and parts, but i will not be in something that i'm to blame for everything. That is not healthy. I have also been in abusive relationships before.
He then stopped messaging me. Didn't care that we got into flight issues. Didn't care we made the flight back. That night he came over and was a victim. Claimed in the 5 days I was gone he found himself. That he wasn't focused at work because of me and now he is. He wanted to try to be together. I had no idea what reality I was in. We slept together. He left. And told me we'd talk the next day. All of this felt so weird but I was just hoping he would snap out of this and back to reality and we would be able to talk. But I also knew this had to end at this point.
The next day, he didn't answer me all day. This was the opposite of behavior I ever experienced from him. Did not respond to texts or pick up the phone. We had a training appointment and he had the trainer tell me he wasn't coming. I broke down in tears. I begged him to just answer a text. He didn't. He drove by me while walking the dog and did not stop. I emailed him, expressing my confusion, telling him this is not what we agreed to. He blocked me. That night I got an email from him letting me know he was moving 10 min away. He lived next door in another apt building. He actually assured me the day before he “was not going anywhere.” In that email, he listed out the calls and texts I sent and how inappropriate it was. He never said we were done. He said taking space, needing space…so in my head I was confused but see it now.
I was inconsolable. I didn’t respond.
But here is the issue I am still in: I needed to see him dropping his kid at school the next day. I will need to see him for the next 12 years unless I move.
The following Friday he stood next to me at a school event. I purposely stood in the back to have space and be able to leave if I needed to. He went next to me. When I told him he should sit, he said he didn't want to make it obvious to his ex wife. I asked him to speak that Friday. He said ok but he was moving. I cried instantly. Already? I said ok.
On Saturday am, I saw the truck pull up and left the house. I called him that Saturday. I was blocked.
The next wednesday he asked me for a series of logistics in a text. None of which I handled yet. Wanting me to cancel flights and settle up money spent together. No mention or responsibility for all the money wasted on tickets we will never use. But then…in the text, asked for my engagement ring back.
I responded to logistics. Not the ring
He then called me 3 hours later because something went really wrong in his legal case. He wanted me to understand and validate him. I did....I just turned off my feelings for a moment. At the end he said, so about the flights. Can you handle it? "If i cancel it for you and your son i also have to do it for me and my kid. It's all on the same reservation" "well if you can go and not make sexual advances on me then we can try to go together.” I was like wtf? I could not have sex for months due to my injury. But he wanted to. Was this way of setting up blame that if we DID sleep together I would be to blame? I was like “I will cancel it for all of us.”
He then ran down more logistics and I said honestly you didn't seem done. I don't understand what you're doing. He said "im done" i hung up the phone.
He asked me for the ring again that night in a text. I said no, I need time to process this.
Everything since then has been a transaction. If i have a genuine emotion, he gets upset that i have it at all. He continues to sit next to me at school events because he claims he does not want his ex-wife to think we are done (this is insane to me….). I realize now that if it is a “good” interaction he is happy. If I am sad, then it is a “bad” one.
He never told his son we broke up, and shamed me for telling my daughter.
Recently he asked me a question and I was annoyed, and he said "can you not be mad at me?" I said “no, I can't not be mad at you…”
In the last 3 months, he’s said "I don't want to confuse things" has come up a lot. I don’t know if he is saying that to me or himself.
I have been so stuck trying to understand how I could not take space at all from him, to being totally discarded. I know he went back to spending, and drinking, but I don’t think he is seeing anyone.
He only responds when he wants to. He ignores other things. I never was able to get an MRI for my back because the claim went through a DR he set up for me and he never sent me the info when I asked.
I got the money back he owed me, but still lost so much money.
He told me he missed me one time.
I don’t know who this person is.
I will have to see him for the next 12 years while the kids are in school unless I move. I am not going to move just to avoid him, but I need to heal so I can be strong enough. I don’t know if he is going to try to come back. I have been in therapy and am getting clearer about what brought me into this in the first place.
Any clarity you can help me with, on this, and what may come from here, would be really helpful. It will help me direct some of my searches and begin to piece things together to process in therapy. I have severe anxiety when I run into him at school.
I have never had to heal from something like this before. At first, I thought it was healing from a narcissistic discard….this feels like so much more.
Does it sound like he will want to come back?
Is there ever closure?

As you may know, the "The mysterious cities of gold" (or "Esteban, the child of the sun") was a French/Japanese series which aired when Oda was little and has many uncanny similarities with One Piece:

• Many adventurers set sail to find the lost city of gold (El Dorado) in the New World
• Ancient highly advanced lost civilization which mastered solar power / nuclear fusion (Ancient Kingdom & nuclear fusion / solar energy)
• An ancient language that only the last girl of an exterminated tribe can read (Robin)
• The protagonist (Esteban) being the prophesied child of the sun (Luffy / sun god Nika)
• Etc etc

Check out for example this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBrKuS_-XiY for more information.
I'm interested in the ending, since it might give some clues on the ending of One Piece. As such, I watched the last three episodes ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjDdSWF3fIs , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e11P3j_uwWQ , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUPVJZpTHAo ). In these episodes, the heroes arrive at the lost city of gold (i.e. Raftel), discover the history of the ancient war (void century), and fight over the great treasure, which is an immense source of energy (similar to the Mother Flame, nuclear fusion, solar energy). Here's a summary of all episodes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_The_Mysterious_Cities_of_Gold_episodes , if you want a bit of context.
Obviously, Oda has taken inspiration from many series / legends / historical facts, and so most definitely won't copy this specific series to the letter. However, this series is a special case, so I wanted to try guessing parts of the ending of One Piece based on it.
Inspired by the last 3 episodes of "The mysterious cities of gold", here are some theories on the ending of One Piece:

• The weapon that shot the mother flame isn't Uranus, but instead something similar to this ugly-looking flying machine, belonging to the Olmecs (evil space aliens, or Tenryuubito / Imu):

https://preview.redd.it/2b2xnazg2e1d1.jpg?width=1370&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4dcee062859a9cbf42f0bd54a4b58e7c96326165

• Raftel is hidden under Reverse Mountain. At one point, this rocky dome above Raftel will open in 4 quadrants. In the series, it's 6 quadrants, but Reverse Mountain being divided in 4 makes more sense.

https://preview.redd.it/vjem9dv83e1d1.png?width=1270&format=png&auto=webp&s=9ec93b67988131a0a5e630c0a58e0f302e5b9baa
https://preview.redd.it/igzu401a3e1d1.png?width=1281&format=png&auto=webp&s=cead920ecebae8177d81543c8b6114d87995ee7c
https://preview.redd.it/wiikncdl3e1d1.png?width=1273&format=png&auto=webp&s=42deeda1198fa609e2b4d43c7e46b7ffbbc7e5c1
https://preview.redd.it/l4zzebl67e1d1.png?width=1275&format=png&auto=webp&s=49e077890354e161b1f3d6bfb7bffa6f7feef93b

• 2 individuals (the 2 sovereigns) are needed to open Raftel: Robin (left; maybe to read the poneglyphs?) and Luffy (right).

https://preview.redd.it/s5p5jetv3e1d1.png?width=830&format=png&auto=webp&s=9fe57e85e968b9f5df3486ff6e578b79627efd81

• Luffy has the power of the sun, i.e. limitless power granting limitless freedom. The sun / Luffy's power is needed to turn on the ancient technology, as Esteban's power to summon the sun turns on the ancient city's defenses.

https://preview.redd.it/okthkk7n4e1d1.png?width=1270&format=png&auto=webp&s=132dd26ede54dbf0443e3fe2e3c5a8dfb96ebad6

• Raftel will be where the final battle happens, not Mariejois. It will be a free-for-all between the factions of Luffy, Shanks, Dragon, Blackbeard, and Imu (at minimum, I guess Cross Guild should also be there). The energy source in Raftel will be unleashed, leading to cataclysmic earth-shattering events, which will probably destroy the Red Line and thus Mariejois / Fishman Island with it.
• The great kingdom (Mu, with the Hevans) and a rival kingdom (Atlanta) both mastered nuclear fusion / solar power. They were extremely advanced, yet the cities and citizens are drawn in the aesthetics of old Aztec (Mu) and Greek (Atlanta) cities. They fought for a century until they essentially nuked each other, and both were submerged under the ocean.

https://preview.redd.it/lmxaev2s6e1d1.png?width=1271&format=png&auto=webp&s=71c83c09c2856a7a1adc75370b6cff441e0706ac
https://preview.redd.it/njop76kt6e1d1.png?width=1275&format=png&auto=webp&s=b5e474d68f35f56539da84a504d55523cf9ab704
https://preview.redd.it/tlqwffbu6e1d1.png?width=1267&format=png&auto=webp&s=28b159edf2213714ddd7a8044148fc6079f94be5
https://preview.redd.it/7mexgbpv6e1d1.png?width=1267&format=png&auto=webp&s=6aaeda10bad1d4b542f695fc6dda141b25278404
https://preview.redd.it/9cg4383v6e1d1.png?width=1269&format=png&auto=webp&s=6c491ad0810346e8d2efa08420b8a8035dcfb3dd

• The great kingdom had 7 allied countries, and they all had cities made entirely of gold, most of which are submerged. Examples: Shandora, Wano (the land of gold). When the water will recede, the sun will hit all of these cities, and they will all "turn on". This will lead to a new era of peace and prosperity, where citizens everywhere will be able to use the advanced technology for better lives.
• Imu is akin to the Olmecs, i.e. a space alien which seeks to greedily use the eternal flame for the longevity of their species, and consider all others to be trash. The Tenryuubito could also be from the same space alien race as Imu (astronaut suits), or they could instead be remnants of the Atlanteans (underwater, scuba bubble helmet), I can't decide.

https://preview.redd.it/nmqo0o5d5e1d1.png?width=1007&format=png&auto=webp&s=b93e8b675785688ea25b592eff7659add35b73a2
Even if all of these theories are false because Oda won't copy, I recommend watching the last 3 episodes. It was a big hit in Japan and France at the time, and really captures the adventurous feeling of One Piece. Each episode ends with a small segment on the real history which inspired the series, which is maybe the origin of Oda's love for real history and legends, and maybe even of his blending of fictional pirate-era sci-fi fantasy with real history and legends.
TL;DR: Raftel is hidden under Reverse Mountain and will be "opened up". Robin and Luffy are needed to open Raftel, Robin for reading poneglyphs, and Luffy's solar power to turn on the ancient technology. Raftel will be where the final battle happens, a free-for-all between Luffy / Shanks / Dragon / BlackBeard / Imu / everyone. There were two rival kingdoms, the Ancient Kingdom and another (Atlanta) which mastered nuclear fusion / solar power, fought for a century and nuked each other, both being submerged under water. The Ancient Kingdom had 7 allied countries, all made of gold, and are all also submerged. When the water will recede, the sun will hit all of these cities, and they will all "turn on", and a new era of peace and prosperity will start.

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Hey all! This is a bit weird for me being almost 40 and looking for friends. But here I am anyways lol. Mainly looking for someone to message throughout the day and get to know. Maybe game with if we have that in common. I do work from home so there’s no one to really talk to during the day.
I’m married and have 2 kids, a 6 month old son and a 9 year old daughter. I’m into basic nerdy things. Gaming, star wars, super heroes, DnD, etc. Also trading card games like Disney Lorcana and Star Wars Unlimited.
I watch a ton of Critical Role stuff especially Campaign 3! Currently on episode 74, so if you watch too, let me know! Also like to watch Battle of the Brands on YouTube.
I’m also into movies and tv, some sports, pro wrestling. Collecting action figures and retro games is one of hobbies as well. Anything 80s/90s nostalgia i absolutely love so if you want to talk childhood and growing up back then, i’m down! I miss the good old days where we went to arcades and italian sunday dinners at the grandparents and where the world just wasn’t as nutso as it is today lol.
My kids are everything to me and I do love talking about them. Love being silly with them and spending time with them (when they aren’t driving me crazy 🤪 lol)..I would prefer you be around my age and have kids as well just so we have that stuff in common off the bat! I’m socially awkward most times but very easy to get along with. I’m definitely considered an introvert. But once you get to know me I break out of that awkward shell. I do like to use sarcasm, and mostly like to try and make people laugh because a world without laughter would just be horrible.
Alright i’ll shut up now but I’d like to think i’m an awesome person to get to know and hopefully there’s more you’d like to know so feel free to DM me! (I looove using GIFs so if you message me, open up with a funny one! Especially since then i’ll know you actually read this 😂)

Hey all! This is a bit weird for me being almost 40 and looking for friends. But here I am anyways lol. Mainly looking for someone to message throughout the day and get to know. Maybe game with if we have that in common. I do work from home so there’s no one to really talk to during the day.
I’m married and have 2 kids, a 6 month old son and a 9 year old daughter. I’m into basic nerdy things. Gaming, star wars, super heroes, DnD, anything Disney, etc. Also trading card games like Disney Lorcana and Star Wars Unlimited.
I watch a ton of Critical Role stuff especially Campaign 3! Currently on episode 74, so if you watch too, let me know! Also like to watch Battle of the Brands on YouTube.
I’m also into movies and tv, some sports, pro wrestling. Collecting action figures and retro games is one of hobbies as well. Anything 80s/90s nostalgia i absolutely love so if you want to talk childhood and growing up back then, i’m down! I miss the good old days where we went to arcades and italian sunday dinners at the grandparents and where the world just wasn’t as nutso as it is today lol.
My kids are everything to me and I do love talking about them. Love being silly with them and spending time with them (when they aren’t driving me crazy 🤪 lol)..I would prefer you be around my age and have kids as well just so we have that stuff in common off the bat! I’m socially awkward most times but very easy to get along with. I’m definitely considered an introvert. But once you get to know me I break out of that awkward shell. I do like to use sarcasm, and mostly like to try and make people laugh because a world without laughter would just be horrible.
Alright i’ll shut up now but I’d like to think i’m an awesome person to get to know and hopefully there’s more you’d like to know so feel free to DM me! (I looove using GIFs so if you message me, open up with a funny one! Especially since then i’ll know you actually read this 😂)

Hey all! This is a bit weird for me being almost 40 and looking for friends. But here I am anyways lol. Mainly looking for someone to message throughout the day and get to know. Maybe game with if we have that in common. I do work from home so there’s no one to really talk to during the day.
I’m married and have 2 kids, a 6 month old son and a 9 year old daughter. I’m into basic nerdy things. Gaming, star wars, super heroes, DnD, anything Disney etc. Also trading card games like Disney Lorcana and Star Wars Unlimited.
I watch a ton of Critical Role stuff especially Campaign 3! Currently on episode 74, so if you watch too, let me know! Also like to watch Battle of the Brands on YouTube.
I’m also into movies and tv, some sports, pro wrestling. Collecting action figures and retro games is one of hobbies as well. Anything 80s/90s nostalgia i absolutely love so if you want to talk childhood and growing up back then, i’m down! I miss the good old days where we went to arcades and italian sunday dinners at the grandparents and where the world just wasn’t as nutso as it is today lol.
My kids are everything to me and I do love talking about them. Love being silly with them and spending time with them (when they aren’t driving me crazy 🤪 lol)..I would prefer you be around my age and have kids as well just so we have that stuff in common off the bat! I’m socially awkward most times but very easy to get along with. I’m definitely considered an introvert. But once you get to know me I break out of that awkward shell. I do like to use sarcasm, and mostly like to try and make people laugh because a world without laughter would just be horrible.
Alright i’ll shut up now but I’d like to think i’m an awesome person to get to know and hopefully there’s more you’d like to know so feel free to DM me! (I looove using GIFs so if you message me, open up with a funny one! Especially since then i’ll know you actually read this 😂)

Episode 13 - Good-bye, Fiolina
^{Episode aired March 28th, 1976}
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MAL ANN AniDB Anilist AnimePlanet IMDB
Note to all participants
Although I don't believe it necessitates stating, please conduct yourself appropriately and be courteous to your fellow participants.
Note to all Rewatchers
Rewatchers, please be mindful of your fellow first-timers and tag your spoilers appropriately using the anime spoiler tag if your comment holds even the slightest of indicators as to future spoilers. Feel free to discuss future plot points behind the safe veil of a spoiler tag, or coyly and discreetly ‘Laugh in Rewatcher’ at our first-timers' temporary ignorance, but please ensure our first-timers are no more privy or suspicious than they were the moment they opened the day’s thread.
—
Staff Highlight
Masaro Kuroda (Sometimes referred to as Yoshio Kuroda) - Storyboard artist

An anime director and storyboard artist best known for his work on early Toei Animation shows and several World Masterpiece Theatre shows. Sometime after graduating from Waseda University's First Faculty of Literature, Kuroda came to work at Toei Animation, where he mainly worked on their television output and came to meet many of his future colleagues and collaborators. Following the Toei Union strikes, Kuroda left the company and came to work at Nippon Animation, where he came to become a particularly favored member of staff during the production of A Dog of Flanders. Some notable credits of his include Wolf Boy Ken, Pygmalio, Gegege no Kitarō (1968), Kumo no Gakkō, Heidi, Girl of The Alps, Tiger Mask, Monarch: The Big Bear of Tallac, Peter Pan & Wendy, Perrine’s Story, Moero! Top Striker, Sinbad the Sailor, Swiss Family Robinson, Bannertail: The Story of Gray Squirrel, and Fables of the Green Forest.

Daily Trivia

Miyazaki modeled the central ‘boy meets girl’ relationship of Future Boy Conan after Marco and Fiolina’s personalities and interactions, which in turn carried into his future works.

Screenshot of the day

• Sunset

Question of the Day:
1) Marco ends up staying after being unable to procure passage on the immigration ship. What do you think is next for Marco in his attempt to reach Argentina?
Goodbye! Goodbye, Fiolna!

I recently got diagnosed with bipolar and one of the questions I couldn't answer was "did you ever experience a psychotic episode?" I tried telling him the episodes below, but I was panicking and forgot most of them and very vaguely described them, and he told me that's not psychosis.
I went through two distinct phases separated by several years (2018 and I believe 2021, I can't remember). First one was gruesome. I didn't recognize myself in the mirror, hated the way I looked, didn't feel like I was myself, or anyone, just something disgusting. I became obsessed with blood, painted with blood, engaged in self harm, purposefully withdrew blood and wore it in a little bottle on my neck. I had intense intrusive thoughts about dying or being hurt, particularly when I would close my eyes, when I would have visions of various torture being inflicted on me, like someone smashing my hand with something heavy and breaking all the bones, or sticking a knife right through the middle of my hand, during which I would actually briefly feel the pain in what I can only describe as shocks that would last a second or two. The pain felt real for that second or two. I hated that I had a body and wanted to sink my nails in my face and scratch the skin off so I could ascend and be free. I refused to look in the mirror during that period.
Second one was after I entered a relationship. Out of nowhere, I started being obsessed with my boyfriend drinking coke. I started strongly believing that coke will make all his teeth fall out then he would die. I also became obsessed with saving money, because having money saved meant we won't die in an emergency and I was convinced an emergency could happen at any time. It quickly slipped into the most intense paranoia I've ever felt in my life. I became so obsessed with these things that I would spy on his laptop when I was supposed to be working (wfh) for hours on end, trying to find out if he was spending money on ordering food or taking taxis, or going places he wasn't supposed to go. I'd stay up at night for hours waiting for him to fall asleep so I could look through his phone. It was horrible, I know what I did was inexcusable, I'm perfectly aware, but I wasn't aware back then. It was an all consuming paranoia.
I don't know if these count as psychosis? Is there psychosis without hallucinations? Because I don't think I ever hallucinated, except one isolated instance when I saw myself and everything happening around me from above in 3rd person.

Last Updated List: 19/05/2024
 
I'm primarily looking to trade for games from my wishlist, otherwise I am also open to selling them. I am not interested in games I already have and all games I'm getting are for me and activated on my own account. Other than that feel free to offer your list of Steam games and something I may not have and fulfills my criteria I could/would be willing to trade for it/them.

• To trade you must respond to this thread first, I will not respond or accept anyone outside of this thread, only exception are unless we've traded more than once before.
• Only interested in trading for games on Steam.
• I don't do Humble gifts whether receiving or giving, all my keys are in unrevealed form right after purchase.
• No interest in any keys from an unofficial retailesource (aka grey market), curatoreviewer keys (aka beta/reviewebeta-testing/etc.), abandonware, keys for games that are already free on Steam itself, Steam profile-limited keys, and only slight interest in VR-titles and/or de-listed games (no banned games).
• Anything marked as wishlist/paypal, it's self-explanatory and I won't look through lists.
• All my keys are EU keys, if you are outside of EU, make sure you double check for any region locks for your country. For quite a few which I was aware of I already listed the region lock, however this is not my responsibility as I did specify the key's region.
• When buying, I only accept payments in Euro's. Minimum purchase of €1,00. Fees are on buyer.

If you're either trading or buying please state the game(s) you are interested in and your offer (game(s)/list/price).
 
Info:

• Region (and keys region): Europe
  
• IGS Rep Page
  
• SteamTrades
  
• SteamRep
  

 
I kindly ask of you is to be reasonable when making offers to make it a fair trade for both of us.
Let's have a good exchange/trade!
 
List of games:

• 100% Orange Juice
• 16bit Trader
• 20XX
• 4089: Ghost Within
• 9 Years of Shadows
• 911 Operator
• A Demon's Game - Episode 1
• A Game of Changes
• A Juggler's Tale
• A Normal Lost Phone
• A Plague Tale: Innocence (wishlist or Paypal only)
• A Tale of Paper: Refolded
• ABZU
• Aces and Adventures
• Adventure Time: Pirates of the Enchiridion
• Afterimage (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Afterparty
• Airborne Kingdom
• Alien Breed 2: Assault
• Alone in the Dark (2008)
• Amanda the Adventurer
• AMID EVIL
• Amnesia: Rebirth
• An Elder Scrolls Legend: Battlespire
• Animal Shelter (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Anomaly II
• Anomaly: Warzone Earth
• Arcade Paradise
• Arcade Spirits
• Archipelago
• Arizona Sunshine: Deluxe Edition
• Arto (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Ary and the Secret of Seasons
• As Far As The Eye
• Ashina: The Red Witch
• Athena Trivia
• Attack of the Earthlings
• Autonauts
• Autonauts vs PirateBots
• Axiom Verge
• Axiom Verge 2 (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Back 4 Blood (Region Lock: Sub ID) (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Backstage Pass
• Baobabs Mausoleum Ep. 1 Ovnifagos Don't Eat Flamingos
• Batman: Arkham Asylum Game of the Year Edition
• Batman: Arkham City - Game of the Year Edition
• Batman: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
• Batman: Arkham Origins
• Battlestar Galactica Deadlock Season One
• BattleTrucks
• Beacon Pines (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Beat Or Die The MiniGames
• Beholder
• Ben 10: Power Trip
• Beyond the Long Night
• Big Crown®: Showdown
• Bighead Runner
• Bionic Commando
• Biosys Inc
• bit Dungeon II
• Black Book
• Black Paradox
• Black Skylands
• Blackguards
• Blackguards 2
• Blasphemous (Region Lock: EU/US only)
• Bleep Bloop
• Blind Fate: Edo no Yami
• BLOCKADE War Stories
• Blood And Zombies
• Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night (wishlist or Paypal only)
• BomberZone
• BPM: BULLETS PER MINUTE
• Brick Breaker
• Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
• Bud Spencer & Terence Hill - Slaps And Beans
• Buggos
• Calico
• Caliper
• Call of Juarez: Gunslinger
• Cardboard Town
• Carton
• Castle Defender
• CastleStorm
• Cat on a Diet
• Caveblazers
• Cavity Busters
• CHESS CROWN
• Chicago 1930 : The Prohibition
• Children of Silentown
• Chorus (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Chronicon
• Citizen Sleeper
• City Siege: Faction Island
• Cobra Kai: The Karate Kid Saga Continues
• Colortone
• Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines
• Company of Heroes 2
• Company of Heroes 2 - Ardennes Assault
• Company of Heroes 2 - The Western Front Armies: Oberkommando West
• Company of Heroes: Tales of Valor
• Cook, Serve, Delicious!
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
• Cookie Cutter (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Copy Kitty
• Coromon
• Corrupted
• Cosmic Star Heroine
• Crash Drive 2
• Crazy Machines 3
• Creepy Tale 3: Ingrid Penance
• CRYPTARK
• Crystals of Time
• Cthulhu Saves Christmas
• Curse: The Eye of Isis
• Cybercube
• Dad Quest
• Dark Deity
• Daymare: 1998
• Dead Estate
• Deadlink (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
• Death's Gambit: Afterlife
• Deathtrap
• Decarnation (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Decay: The Mare
• Deceive Inc.
• Decks Of Power
• Deep Despair 2
• Deflector
• Deponia
• Desert Parkour
• DESOLATE
• Destroy All Humans!
• Dicey Dungeons
• Dinosaur Fossil Hunter
• Disciples II: Rise of the Elves
• Dishonored
• Dogfight 1942
• DOOM II
• Drawful 2
• Dread Templar
• Dread X Collection
• Dread X Collection 2
• Dread X Collection 3
• Dread X Collection 5
• Dread X Collection: The Hunt
• Dreamscaper
• DreamWorks Dragons: Dawn of New Riders
• Driftland: The Magic Revival
• Drunken Robot Pornography
• Dungeons
• Dungeons 2
• Dungeons 3
• DUSK
• EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair + 18 DLCs (Complete)
• EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1 WINGDIVER THE SHOOTER
• Eldest Souls
• ELEX II (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Eternal Threads
• Everhood
• Evil Genius 2: World Domination
• Evoland Legendary Edition
• Expect The Unexpected
• Extinction: Deluxe Edition
• Factory Town
• Fairy Escape
• Fall of Porcupine (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Fallout 3: Game of the Year Edition (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Fantasy Kingdom Simulator
• FAR: Lone Sails
• Fast & Furious: Spy Racers Rise of SH1FT3R
• Feel-A-Maze
• Fight'N Rage
• Figment
• Finding Paradise
• Firelight Fantasy: Resistance
• First Class Trouble
• Fishermurs
• Flashback
• Fly O'Clock
• For The King
• Forgive me Father
• Fred3ric
• Frederic: Evil Strikes Back
• Frederic: Resurrection of Music
• From Space
• Frostpunk
• Fury Unleashed
• Garden In!
• Garfield Kart
• Garfield Kart - Furious Racing
• Generation Zero
• Get In The Car, Loser!
• Gloria Victis
• Going Under
• Golden Light
• Golf It!
• Gone: Survival
• Good Night, Knight
• Gotham Knights (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Graveyard Keeper
• Gray Dawn
• GRIP: Combat Racing
• Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
• Guts and Glory
• GYLT (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Haegemonia: Legions of Iron
• Hamilton's Great Adventure
• Hands of Necromancy
• Hard West
• Heads Will Roll
• Hell Pie
• Hellbound
• HELLCARD
• Hellslave
• Hi-Fi RUSH (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Hollow Knight (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Holy Potatoes! A Spy Story?!
• Homestead Arcana
• Home Sweet Home
• Homeworld Remastered Collection
• Honey, I Joined a Cult
• Hue
• Human Fall Flat
• I Am Fish
• Ice Age: Scrat's Nutty Adventure
• ICEY
• Inertial Drift
• Inexistence Rebirth
• Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
• Internet Cafe Simulator 2
• Interstellar Space: Genesis
• Is Simon There?
• ITORAH
• Jagged Alliance: Rage!
• JANITOR BLEEDS
• Jotun: Valhalla Edition
• JUMANJI: The Video Game
• Junkyard Fury 2
• Just Die Already
• Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth
• Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe Edition
• King Arthur Collection (Sub ID 25825)
• King of Dragon Pass
• King Of The Castle
• Kingdom Come: Deliverance + Band of Bastards DLC (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Kingdom Wars 2: Definitive Edition
• Kingdom Wars 4
• King's Bounty: Armored Princess
• Kitaria Fables
• Kitchen Simulator 2015
• Kraken Academy!!
• Kyle is Famous: Complete Edition
• Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
• Leisure Suit Larry 7 - Love for Sail
• Life is Strange: True Colors (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Lila’s Sky Ark
• Little Orpheus
• Loddlenaut
• Loop Hero
• Lord of the Dark Castle
• Lords and Villeins
• Lords of Football
• Lost Castle
• Lost Planet 3 Complete Pack
• Lucius III
• Lumberhill
• LunarLux
• Mad Max
• Mafia III: Definitive Edition (Region Lock: Sub ID) (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Mago
• Maid of Sker
• Mail Time
• Main Assembly
• Maneater
• MARSUPILAMI - HOOBADVENTURE (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Marvel's Midnight Suns + DLC (Region Lock: Sub ID) (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Mechs & Mercs: Black Talons
• Medieval Kingdom Wars
• Mega Man Legacy Collection
• MegaRace 1
• MegaRace 2
• MegaRace 3
• Men of War
• Metal: Hellsinger (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Metamorphosis
• Metro Simulator
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
• Middle-earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
• Midnight Fight Express
• Minute of Islands
• MirrorMoon EP
• Monaco
• Moon Hunters
• Morbid: The Seven Acolytes
• Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Mortal Kombat XL
• Moto Racer Collection
• Moving Out + Movers in Paradise DLC
• Music Racer
• My Little Universe Soundtrack (DLC)
• My Little Worms
• Mystery of Unicorn Castle: The Beastmaster
• Mythforce (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Mythic Ocean
• Nadir: A Grimdark Deckbuilder
• NARUTO TO BORUTO: SHINOBI STRIKER
• Nash Racing: Pursuit
• Nearly Dead
• Necronator: Dead Wrong
• NecroWorm
• Neon Abyss Deluxe Edition
• Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl
• Nimble Fish
• Nioh 2 – The Complete Edition (wishlist or Paypal only)
• No Place Like Home
• Nobody Saves the World
• Nomad Survival
• Oaken
• Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee
• Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty
• OlliOlli World
• Onde
• One Finger Death Punch 2
• One Hand Clapping
• Onee Chanbara Origin (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Operation Tango
• Orange Cast: Sci-Fi Space Action Game
• Orbital Racer
• Orcs Must Die! 3 Complete Bundle
• OTXO
• Out of Space
• Overcooked
• Owlboy (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Paint the Town Red
• Papo & Yo
• Patch Quest
• PAYDAY 2
• PC Building Simulator
• Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Enhanced Plus Edition (Region Lock: Sub ID)
• Plunger Simulator
• Police Stories
• POSTAL 2
• Primal Carnage: Extinction
• Prodeus
• Push The Box 3D
• Qbik
• QUAKE II
• qubo
• RAD
• Rad Rodgers Radical Edition
• Radio Commander
• Railway Empire
• Recipe For Disaster
• Red Faction: Armageddon
• Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
• Red Solstice 2: Survivors
• Redout: Enhanced Edition + 5 DLCs
• Regency Solitaire
• Regions Of Ruin
• Remnant: From the Ashes - Complete Edition (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Remnants of Naezith
• Repetendium
• Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
• Resident Evil 4 (2005)
• Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition
• Resident Evil 6
• Resident Evil Revelations
• Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
• Retrowave
• Reventure
• RHEM I SE: The Mysterious Land
• Rhythm Sprout: Sick Beats & Bad Sweets
• River City Girls
• River City Ransom: Underground
• Road 96 (Region Lock: Sub ID)
• Röki
• Royal Battleships
• Rustler
• Saints Row (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Salt and Sanctuary
• Sanctum 2
• Sands of Aura
• SATAZIUS
• Satellite Repairman
• Say No! More
• Scarlet Tower
• Scars Above
• Scorn
• School Years
• SEGA Bass Fishing
• Sense - 不祥的预感: A Cyberpunk Ghost Story
• Severed Steel
• Shadows: Awakening
• She Sees Red - Interactive Movie
• Shift Happens
• Shing!
• Shut Up And Dig
• Sid Meier's Ace Patrol
• Sine Mora EX
• Sigma Theory: Global Cold War
• Silent Service
• Sinking Island
• Sir Whoopass™: Immortal Death
• Skeletal Avenger
• Slaycation Paradise
• Small World + 1 DLC
• Snafu
• Sneak Thief
• Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts
• Snowtopia: Ski Resort Builder
• SONG OF HORROR COMPLETE EDITION
• Sorry, James
• Soul Grabber
• Soulblight
• Soulstice
• Space Crew: Legendary Edition
• Sparkle 2 Evo
• Sparkle 3 Genesis
• Sparkle ZERO
• Spirit of the Island
• SPOOKWARE
• STAR WARS Jedi Knight - Jedi Academy
• STAR WARS Jedi Knight II - Jedi Outcast
• Stacking
• Starblast
• Starpoint Gemini 2 Gold Pack
• Starpoint Gemini Warlords
• Startide
• STASIS
• Stick Fight: The Game
• Steel Rats
• Steelrising (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Strange Brigade
• Streets of Fury EX
• Strider
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• SuchArt: Genius Artist Simulator
• Sucker for Love: First Date
• Suite 776
• Sunblaze
• Sunlight
• Sunset Overdrive
• Super Catboy
• Super Indie Karts
• Super Magbot
• Super Meat Boy
• Superbugs: Awaken
• Superliminal (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Survive the Nights
• Swag and Sorcery
• Switchball HD
• Sword of the Necromancer
• Syberia
• Symphony of War: The Nephilim Saga (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Synergia
• SYNTHETIK: Legion Rising
• System Crash
• S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
• Tacoma
• Tallowmere
• Tenta Shooter
• TERRACOTTA (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Terraformers
• Terror of Hemasaurus
• Tesla Force
• The Amazing American Circus
• The Banner Saga Trilogy Deluxe Pack (Sub ID) (wishlist or Paypal only)
• The Bluecoats: North & South
• The Callisto Protocol (wishlist or Paypal only)
• The Chronicles of Nyanya
• The Citadel
• The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes (wishlist or Paypal only)
• The Dark Pictures Anthology: Man of Medan (wishlist or Paypal only)
• The Dark Eye: Memoria
• The Dream Machine: Chapter 1 & 2
• The Dungeon Beneath
• The Dungeon of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet of Chaos
• The Elder Scrolls Adventures: Redguard
• The Esoterica: Hollow Earth
• The Evil Within 2
• The eXceed Collection: Aural Brutality Edition
• The Executioner
• The Falconeer
• THE GAME OF LIFE
• THE GAME OF LIFE 2 (wishlist or Paypal only)
• The Gunk
• The Haunting of Billy Classic
• The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing: Final Cut
• The Initiate
• The Initiate 2: The First Interviews
• The Inner World
• The Knight Witch (wishlist or Paypal only)
• The Legend of Tianding
• The Long Reach
• The Moment of Silence
• The Quarry - Deluxe Edition (wishlist or Paypal only)
• The Quarry – Horror History Visual Filter Pack (DLC)
• The Red Lantern
• The Sapper
• The Talos Principle
• The Talos Principle: Gold Edition (wishlist or Paypal only)
• The Tarnishing of Juxtia
• The Tenants (wishlist or Paypal only)
• The Town of Light
• The Undying Plague
• The Witness (wishlist or Paypal only)
• There Is No Light: Enhanced Edition
• This War of Mine
• Those Who Remain
• Through Abandoned: The Refuge
• Ticket to Ride
• Timberman
• Time Lock VR
• Time on Frog Island
• Tiny Tina's Wonderlands: Chaotic Great Edition (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Tinykin (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
• Toki
• Toodee and Topdee
• Totally Reliable Delivery Service
• Tower of Time
• Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt
• Train Simulator Classic + 2 DLCs
• Trifox
• Tropico 3 Gold Edition
• Tropico 4 Collector's Bundle
• Troublemaker
• Trover Saves the Universe
• Turbo Overkill (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Turmoil
• Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion
• Turok
• Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
• Twin Mirror
• Two Point Campus (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Ultimate Zombie Defense
• Undying (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Unity of Command Trilogy
• Up and Down
• Vampire Survivors
• Vanguard Princess
• Verdun
• Violett Remastered
• VirtuaVerse
• Voltaire: The Vegan Vampire
• Wanted: Dead (wishlist or Paypal only)
• War for the Overworld
• Wargroove
• Warhammer 40,000: Armageddon + Soundtrack DLC
• Warhammer 40,000: Armageddon - Da Orks
• Warhammer 40,000: Battlesector
• Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach
• Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide
• Warhammer: Vermintide 2
• Wayward
• West of Dead
• What the Fog
• Where The Water Tastes Like Wine
• Who Pressed Mute on Uncle Marcus?
• Within Skerry
• Within the blade
• Wobbledogs (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Wolfenstein 3D
• Worms Rumble
• WWE 2K23 (Region Lock: Sub ID) (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Yoku's Island Express
• Yooka-Laylee
• XEL
• XIII - Classic
• X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
• Yakuza 4 Remastered
• Yakuza: Like a Dragon (wishlist or Paypal only)
• You Deserve
• Zombie Army Trilogy
• Zombie Driver HD
• Zool Redimensioned

Last Updated List: 19/05/2024
 
I'm primarily looking to trade for games from my wishlist, otherwise I am also open to selling them. I am not interested in games I already have and all games I'm getting are for me and activated on my own account. Other than that feel free to offer your list of Steam games and something I may not have and fulfills my criteria I could/would be willing to trade for it/them.

• To trade you must respond to this thread first, I will not respond or accept anyone outside of this thread, only exception are unless we've traded more than once before.
• Only interested in trading for games on Steam.
• I don't do Humble gifts whether receiving or giving, all my keys are in unrevealed form right after purchase.
• No interest in any keys from an unofficial retailesource (aka grey market), curatoreviewer keys (aka beta/reviewebeta-testing/etc.), abandonware, keys for games that are already free on Steam itself, Steam profile-limited keys, and only slight interest in VR-titles and/or de-listed games (no banned games).
• Anything marked as wishlist/paypal, it's self-explanatory and I won't look through lists.
• All my keys are EU keys, if you are outside of EU, make sure you double check for any region locks for your country. For quite a few which I was aware of I already listed the region lock, however this is not my responsibility as I did specify the key's region.
• When buying, I only accept payments in Euro's. Minimum purchase of €1,00. Fees are on buyer.

If you're either trading or buying please state the game(s) you are interested in and your offer (game(s)/list/price).
 
Info:

• Region (and keys region): Europe
  
• IGS Rep Page
  
• SteamTrades
  
• SteamRep
  

 
I kindly ask of you is to be reasonable when making offers to make it a fair trade for both of us.
Let's have a good exchange/trade!
 
List of games:

• 100% Orange Juice
• 16bit Trader
• 20XX
• 4089: Ghost Within
• 9 Years of Shadows
• 911 Operator
• A Demon's Game - Episode 1
• A Game of Changes
• A Juggler's Tale
• A Normal Lost Phone
• A Plague Tale: Innocence (wishlist or Paypal only)
• A Tale of Paper: Refolded
• ABZU
• Aces and Adventures
• Adventure Time: Pirates of the Enchiridion
• Afterimage (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Afterparty
• Airborne Kingdom
• Alien Breed 2: Assault
• Alone in the Dark (2008)
• Amanda the Adventurer
• AMID EVIL
• Amnesia: Rebirth
• An Elder Scrolls Legend: Battlespire
• Animal Shelter (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Anomaly II
• Anomaly: Warzone Earth
• Arcade Paradise
• Arcade Spirits
• Archipelago
• Arizona Sunshine: Deluxe Edition
• Arto (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Ary and the Secret of Seasons
• As Far As The Eye
• Ashina: The Red Witch
• Athena Trivia
• Attack of the Earthlings
• Autonauts
• Autonauts vs PirateBots
• Axiom Verge
• Axiom Verge 2 (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Back 4 Blood (Region Lock: Sub ID) (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Backstage Pass
• Baobabs Mausoleum Ep. 1 Ovnifagos Don't Eat Flamingos
• Batman: Arkham Asylum Game of the Year Edition
• Batman: Arkham City - Game of the Year Edition
• Batman: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
• Batman: Arkham Origins
• Battlestar Galactica Deadlock Season One
• BattleTrucks
• Beacon Pines (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Beat Or Die The MiniGames
• Beholder
• Ben 10: Power Trip
• Beyond the Long Night
• Big Crown®: Showdown
• Bighead Runner
• Bionic Commando
• Biosys Inc
• bit Dungeon II
• Black Book
• Black Paradox
• Black Skylands
• Blackguards
• Blackguards 2
• Blasphemous (Region Lock: EU/US only)
• Bleep Bloop
• Blind Fate: Edo no Yami
• BLOCKADE War Stories
• Blood And Zombies
• Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night (wishlist or Paypal only)
• BomberZone
• BPM: BULLETS PER MINUTE
• Brick Breaker
• Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
• Bud Spencer & Terence Hill - Slaps And Beans
• Buggos
• Calico
• Caliper
• Call of Juarez: Gunslinger
• Cardboard Town
• Carton
• Castle Defender
• CastleStorm
• Cat on a Diet
• Caveblazers
• Cavity Busters
• CHESS CROWN
• Chicago 1930 : The Prohibition
• Children of Silentown
• Chorus (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Chronicon
• Citizen Sleeper
• City Siege: Faction Island
• Cobra Kai: The Karate Kid Saga Continues
• Colortone
• Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines
• Company of Heroes 2
• Company of Heroes 2 - Ardennes Assault
• Company of Heroes 2 - The Western Front Armies: Oberkommando West
• Company of Heroes: Tales of Valor
• Cook, Serve, Delicious!
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
• Cookie Cutter (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Copy Kitty
• Coromon
• Corrupted
• Cosmic Star Heroine
• Crash Drive 2
• Crazy Machines 3
• Creepy Tale 3: Ingrid Penance
• CRYPTARK
• Crystals of Time
• Cthulhu Saves Christmas
• Curse: The Eye of Isis
• Cybercube
• Dad Quest
• Dark Deity
• Daymare: 1998
• Dead Estate
• Deadlink (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
• Death's Gambit: Afterlife
• Deathtrap
• Decarnation (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Decay: The Mare
• Deceive Inc.
• Decks Of Power
• Deep Despair 2
• Deflector
• Deponia
• Desert Parkour
• DESOLATE
• Destroy All Humans!
• Dicey Dungeons
• Dinosaur Fossil Hunter
• Disciples II: Rise of the Elves
• Dishonored
• Dogfight 1942
• DOOM II
• Drawful 2
• Dread Templar
• Dread X Collection
• Dread X Collection 2
• Dread X Collection 3
• Dread X Collection 5
• Dread X Collection: The Hunt
• Dreamscaper
• DreamWorks Dragons: Dawn of New Riders
• Driftland: The Magic Revival
• Drunken Robot Pornography
• Dungeons
• Dungeons 2
• Dungeons 3
• DUSK
• EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair + 18 DLCs (Complete)
• EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1 WINGDIVER THE SHOOTER
• Eldest Souls
• ELEX II (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Eternal Threads
• Everhood
• Evil Genius 2: World Domination
• Evoland Legendary Edition
• Expect The Unexpected
• Extinction: Deluxe Edition
• Factory Town
• Fairy Escape
• Fall of Porcupine (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Fallout 3: Game of the Year Edition (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Fantasy Kingdom Simulator
• FAR: Lone Sails
• Fast & Furious: Spy Racers Rise of SH1FT3R
• Feel-A-Maze
• Fight'N Rage
• Figment
• Finding Paradise
• Firelight Fantasy: Resistance
• First Class Trouble
• Fishermurs
• Flashback
• Fly O'Clock
• For The King
• Forgive me Father
• Fred3ric
• Frederic: Evil Strikes Back
• Frederic: Resurrection of Music
• From Space
• Frostpunk
• Fury Unleashed
• Garden In!
• Garfield Kart
• Garfield Kart - Furious Racing
• Generation Zero
• Get In The Car, Loser!
• Gloria Victis
• Going Under
• Golden Light
• Golf It!
• Gone: Survival
• Good Night, Knight
• Gotham Knights (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Graveyard Keeper
• Gray Dawn
• GRIP: Combat Racing
• Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
• Guts and Glory
• GYLT (wishlist or Paypal only)
• Haegemonia: Legions of Iron
• Hamilton's Great Adventure
• Hands of Necromancy
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hello. ill try to keep this to relevant information but i think youll all understand when i say i tend to give more information than needed. im posting this half for advice in general and half because im curious as to if anyone else has made a big move like this and how it impacted your functioning concerning your autism.
ive been going through a lot of changes recently and it has been taking a huge toll on my mental health. to keep things easy to keep track of, ill provide an order of events to summarize:

• get married at 20 years old, move from my east side home state to a western state bc my new husband is in military
  
• move 8 hours north after 2 years in western state
  
• really like it in new state. live here for 2 more years before changes start happening. entire time im unemployed. im a homemaker, so i do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc while husband works. mental health is constantly up and down, but mostly up. i can recover when im down and i get better quickly. im happy, husband’s happy. we’re poor but ok with it bc we’re happy
  
• start attending therapy in july 2023. get on antidepressants/anti anxiety med. work through past hangups. going well, i love my therapist
  
• october 2023, husband is medically retired. he wants to take a break before finding a job, i agree that he deserves a break after working so hard to the point he has multiple medical problems. i start looking for a job.
  

-november 2023, i start my new job. my job is very client-facing, and i have a lot of anxiety. im stressed
-december, im depressed a lot. house chores are slipping through the cracks. husband agreed to take on my duties but doesnt maintain the apartment to the level im used to, so i have a lot of anxiety about being home. he forgets things a lot due to a mix of adhd and a semi-recent tbi that never healed to the state his brain was before. my therapist wants to get me an autism evaluation. my meds are increased to the maximum dose possible

• february 2024, due to increasing depression and suicidal ideation, i relapse in self harm and make a plan for suicide. i have a complete breakdown. my therapist has my husband take me to a psych ward. they dont admit me because they (rightfully) feel im no longer a danger to myself and that admitting me into a strange environment with none of my familiar deescalation comforts would cause more harm than good mentally. i get a formal autism evaluation. i decide then that i want to move back to my home state as soon as physically possible. my therapist says she doesnt think long term employment is possible for me.
  
• march, my results come back. im officially diagnosed at age 24 with level 2 autism, adhd, social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder with panic attacks, and major depressive disorder (moderate, recurrent episodes). my therapist tells me shes changing jobs and will be gone by the end of the month. i take all this in. work keeps getting harder and harder to do.
  

-early may, the suicidal ideation gets so bad its honestly incredibly scary. i almost take my happy ass to the psych ward myself on multiple occasions. every time i have to go into work i think of death. i spontaneously quit on a random tuesday morning after multiple meltdowns in the previous days. i still dont have another therapist yet.
which brings us to now. im absolutely in burnout, still struggling with suicidal ideation and executive functioning. self care is out the window. my husband is starting a new job that will pay much more than i was getting. lease is up august 1st. plan is to move into my in laws house until steady employment for my husband is reached and we can financially find a place of our own again. i have 5 years of stuff to somehow sort through and condense so we can drag it back across the country.
but now that i have a lot more headspace free, i keep thinking about how happy we were here before all this started. how nice our apartment was and how i love the mountains and all the small businesses we grew to frequent all the time, and how before all this happened i was dead set on just living here permanently. im so torn because all i wanted in my darkest moments was to go back to the quiet countryside my family lives in in my home state, and i do think a quieter area would help. sometimes my husband and i lean over the cricket containers at pet stores to listen to them chirp because summer nights in the south are all crickets and frogs croaking and train horns, and we have none of that here. the southern countryside has an air of peace i have yet to match anywhere else.
im just so lost and scrambling to get my feet under me again. now that my biggest stressor is out of the picture i feel guilty that i dont have my shit together yet. im also really curious as to what the autistic side of me would benefit most from. has anyone had experience with this kind of location change impacting their functioning concerning their autism?
thanks.

So my bf of 2 years dumped me one month ago. I was miserable at first but now.. i feel free. I used to accept everything i shouldnt or dont want to accept because i didnt want to lose him. He knew that i wasnt able to get rid of him, he would create straight up insecurities and then blaming me because i felt insecure. I have bpd and anger issues, he would throw me to the line of an episode and then blame me because i had one. He said “he cant promise he would never cheat” “he cant promise that one day he will wake up and choose to break up with me because he wants to focus on his music” and then blame me because i am crying and fighting over it. he would say “take it or leave it” but he KNEW that i cant fucking leave. Now after 1 month, he is with someone else (with a girl he used to have a fight about her with me and broke up with me because of that and accusing me of not trusting him and telling that the girl already knows about me) now i started to realize everyhting. He would act bad to me when i tell him that he is manipülating me and then i would feel bad because i called him a manipulator. He just sat there, watch me suffer, and then fucking left and telling another girl im the Crazy one. It was an endless loop, im so glad these are all over.