Proof: https://imgur.com/a/cAZELal
If there is anything you are interested in, just let me know. I am always willing to hear any offer. The worst thing I will do is shoot back a counteroffer.
Payment plans are available. More details at the bottom of the post.
All non-pms are on coinsales
All Prices are USD
I am Located in the US
I prefer chat, but pms are fine
I prefer to make sales, but I am willing to entertain trades.
For any coins you may want still shots of, or possibly a video in different lighting, please let me know. I will never have an issue doing this.
I have US coins and foreign coins. Look through it all, you may find something you did not know you wanted. If you want something I do not have, let me know. I may possibly be able to obtain some, or I could already have it.
All grades are my personal opinion, except those that are professionally graded. All Coins I marked as damaged, for the most part, I am unsure if they would grade straight or not; I just wanted to be transparent about them even though they still may be straight grade.
I promise to never give anyone my password and I have 2FA enabled.
Dollars
1879 S MS65 DMPL Morgan (Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/dSM7SRF (1400.00)
1879 S MS64 Morgan (Toner in a Fatty) https://imgur.com/a/Te21BkM (135.00)
Images: https://imgur.com/a/bXzRSU3
1880 S MS64 Morgan (Semi PL and Purple Toner in a Gen 1 Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/wLZeRnc (195.00)
1881 S MS63 VAM-1A Morgan (Toner) https://imgur.com/a/Dp3GFsK (85.00)
1884 O MS67 Morgan (Crazy Mega Toner) https://imgur.com/a/R97TekR (4200.00)
1884 O MS63 DMPL Morgan (Purple Toner in a Gen 1 Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/K8LT2xN (500.00)
1884 CC MS64 Morgan (Toner in a Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/b9NofJA (550.00)
1884 CC MS64 Morgan (Semi PL Lust Bomb in a Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/YyD6l6w (515.00)
1886 MS62 PL Morgan (Rattler) https://imgur.com/a/vMDnM9P (200.00)
1892 O Morgan High VF (Bright) https://imgur.com/a/ku4xPq5 (55.00)
1896 Morgan Belt Buckle https://imgur.com/a/VcyvNjP (45.00)
1896 Morgan AU (Toned) https://imgur.com/a/e7c4enc (50.00)
1896 Morgan AU (Toned) https://imgur.com/a/g01zDBo (50.00)
1896 AU Morgan https://imgur.com/a/Rc313b7 (40.00)
1898 Morgan AU (Toned) https://imgur.com/a/TzJgNcA (50.00)
1898 MS62PL Morgan (Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/BycvAyH (150.00)
1900 Lafayette MS60 Soap Box (Toner) https://imgur.com/a/JZdDjVm (900.00)
1921 MS63 PL Morgan (Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/eRBR2Nw (500.00)
1921 MS63 PL Morgan (Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/VfFMADA (500.00)
1921 MS63 Peace Dollar (Fatty) https://imgur.com/a/UbYm0VG (1050.00)
1923 MS63 Peace Dollar (Gen 2 Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/9yg4TVy (70.00)
1934 D MS62 DBL DIE OBV VAM-3 Peace Dollar (Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/ScGb7bg (350.00)
1934 D AU58 VAM-3 DDO LG D Peace Dollar (Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/dHDSh01 (250.00)
1972 S PR69DCAM Silver Ike https://imgur.com/a/ZvzTrmV (30.00)
1972 S PR69DCAM Silver Ike https://imgur.com/a/6L9ztbd (30.00)
1973 S PR69DCAM Silver Ike https://imgur.com/a/yqKTUSf (40.00)
1997 Proof Silver Eagle (OGP) https://imgur.com/a/kZd3qoZ (80.00)
2005 Silver Eagle First Strike MS69 https://imgur.com/a/pxRPFuS (40.00)
2005 Silver Eagle MS69 https://imgur.com/a/zxzSuSv (38.00)
2005 Silver Eagle MS69 https://imgur.com/a/GCkFghF (35.00)
Video 2: https://imgur.com/a/Yl2VsqP
2011 Silver Eagle First Strike Struck at San Francisco MS69 https://imgur.com/a/wbiDsUC (40.00)
2013 (S) Silver Eagle First Strike Struck at San Francisco MS69 https://imgur.com/a/X5IzVR9 (40.00)
2013 (S) Silver Eagle Early Releases Struck at San Francisco MS69 https://imgur.com/a/SV5Xj43 (40.00)
2021 Peace Dollar in OGP https://imgur.com/a/BlwZkB5 (205.00)
Half Dollars
1854 O G Seated Half https://imgur.com/a/5YDXLlt (30.00)
1877 G Seated Half Dollar (Cleaned) https://imgur.com/a/GiX4bzc (25.00)
1892 AG Barber Half https://imgur.com/a/AFFhmVx (35.00)
1916 S AG Walking Liberty Half https://imgur.com/a/1weOxxW (50.00)
1921 S AG Walking Liberty Half https://imgur.com/a/enXOi59 (50.00)
1936 York Half Dollar (Green CAC and Rattler) https://imgur.com/a/1BD0GBz (280.00)
1946 AU58 Half Dollar DDR (Subtle Blue and Gold Toner in a Soap Box) https://imgur.com/a/cnLo0uV (325.00)
Error Link: https://www.pcgs.com/coinfacts/coin/1946-50c-doubled-die-reverse/6632
1953 D MS64FBL Franklin (Crack on Case, so the Price is Discounted) https://imgur.com/a/ag9u9xU (40.00)
1956 PF67 Type 2 Franklin (Fatty) https://imgur.com/a/wSp88Pe (60.00)
1958 MS66 Franklin (Toner) https://imgur.com/a/xPXZujb (75.00)
1960 PR65 Franklin (Rattler) https://imgur.com/a/YNKqQ9G (40.00)
1962 PF67 Franklin (Toner in a Fatty) https://imgur.com/a/gzkvg20 (40.00)
1962 PF67 Franklin (Toner in a Fatty) https://imgur.com/a/TNSnBme (35.00)
1963 PF66 Ultra Cameo Franklin https://imgur.com/a/WNMCpYG (130.00)
2014 S PR69DCAM First Strike Limited Edition PR Set Kennedy Half https://imgur.com/a/CDL35LL (35.00)
Quarters
1871 S G Seated Quarter (Key Date!) (Counterstamped) https://imgur.com/a/yfl3y0h (425.00)
1893 S Barber Quarter VG (Gorgeous Toner) https://imgur.com/a/WcLNcJb (35.00)
Video 2: https://imgur.com/a/mr6RPW0
1905 O Barber Quarter F https://imgur.com/a/mntr7ex (48.00)
1x Face (1936, 1936, 1937 D, 1945) (Under Melt!) https://imgur.com/a/5G9pq7N (22.00)
Dimes
1837 F Dime (Bent) https://imgur.com/a/Aa5Ats5 (30.00)
1929 D MS64FB Merc (Toned) https://imgur.com/a/vK1aCx4 (175.00)
Video 2: https://imgur.com/a/VAeQgL2
1942 MS65FB Mercury Dime (OGH) https://imgur.com/a/BoyszIc (45.00)
1944 MS66 Mercury Dime (Green CAC and Fatty) https://imgur.com/a/srJTfWG (70.00)
1957 D MS66 Dime (Toner) https://imgur.com/a/Cfl2KJY (40.00)
1964 PF68 Ultra Cameo Dime https://imgur.com/a/0jkPTSz (40.00)
Anicents
Maximinus I Denarius MS ⅘, ⅘ https://imgur.com/a/5u7GLt1 (350.00)
ROMAN EMPIRE: Maximinus I, AD 235-238, AR Denarius (20mm, 3.59 gm, 12h). NGC MS 4/5 - 4/5. Rome, ca. January AD 236-April AD 238. MAXIMINVS PIVS AVG GERM, laureate, draped, cuirassed bust of Maximinus I right / FIDES M-I-LITVM, Fides standing facing, head left, with standard in each hand, one on each side. RIC IV.II 18A.
Shipping for coins (non-coins vary) is 5 Dollars for 12 ounces total weight or less, 8 dollars for over 12 ounces; I am accepting Zelle (Preferred), PPFF (No notes pls), Cashpp, and Venmo FF (No notes pls). (USA only for these rates, special rates of other locations).
For Canada: Shipping for coins (non-coins vary) is 15 Dollars for 8 ounces total weight or less, 23 Dollars for 9 ounces or more.
I can risky ship anything that can be reasonable sent in a regular envelope with a stamp or two for a dollar of shipping
Disclaimer: I lose all responsibility once I drop the package at the post office, but I will help in any way I can for any issues that occur. I will ship once payment clears (once it no longer says pending in my bank account) (Zelle normally is good to go the next day, PP and Venmo can take a few days). Also, deposits can be made for any item for 25 percent or more of the agreed price, but the deposit is nonrefundable. All Payments are nonrefundable.

Proof: https://imgur.com/a/cAZELal
If there is anything you are interested in, just let me know. I am always willing to hear any offer. The worst thing I will do is shoot back a counteroffer.
Payment plans are available. More details at the bottom of the post.
All non-pms are on coinsales
All Prices are USD
I am Located in the US
I prefer chat, but pms are fine
I prefer to make sales, but I am willing to entertain trades.
For any coins you may want still shots of, or possibly a video in different lighting, please let me know. I will never have an issue doing this.
I have US coins and foreign coins. Look through it all, you may find something you did not know you wanted. If you want something I do not have, let me know. I may possibly be able to obtain some, or I could already have it.
All grades are my personal opinion, except those that are professionally graded. All Coins I marked as damaged, for the most part, I am unsure if they would grade straight or not; I just wanted to be transparent about them even though they still may be straight grade.
I promise to never give anyone my password and I have 2FA enabled.
Dollars
1879 S MS65 DMPL Morgan (Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/dSM7SRF (1400.00)
1879 S MS64 Morgan (Toner in a Fatty) https://imgur.com/a/Te21BkM (135.00)
Images: https://imgur.com/a/bXzRSU3
1880 S MS64 Morgan (Semi PL and Purple Toner in a Gen 1 Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/wLZeRnc (195.00)
1881 S MS63 VAM-1A Morgan (Toner) https://imgur.com/a/Dp3GFsK (85.00)
1884 O MS67 Morgan (Crazy Mega Toner) https://imgur.com/a/R97TekR (4200.00)
1884 O MS63 DMPL Morgan (Purple Toner in a Gen 1 Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/K8LT2xN (500.00)
1884 CC MS64 Morgan (Toner in a Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/b9NofJA (550.00)
1884 CC MS64 Morgan (Semi PL Lust Bomb in a Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/YyD6l6w (515.00)
1886 MS62 PL Morgan (Rattler) https://imgur.com/a/vMDnM9P (200.00)
1892 O Morgan High VF (Bright) https://imgur.com/a/ku4xPq5 (55.00)
1896 Morgan Belt Buckle https://imgur.com/a/VcyvNjP (45.00)
1896 Morgan AU (Toned) https://imgur.com/a/e7c4enc (50.00)
1896 Morgan AU (Toned) https://imgur.com/a/g01zDBo (50.00)
1896 AU Morgan https://imgur.com/a/Rc313b7 (40.00)
1898 Morgan AU (Toned) https://imgur.com/a/TzJgNcA (50.00)
1898 MS62PL Morgan (Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/BycvAyH (150.00)
1900 Lafayette MS60 Soap Box (Toner) https://imgur.com/a/JZdDjVm (900.00)
1921 MS63 PL Morgan (Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/eRBR2Nw (500.00)
1921 MS63 PL Morgan (Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/VfFMADA (500.00)
1921 MS63 Peace Dollar (Fatty) https://imgur.com/a/UbYm0VG (1050.00)
1923 MS63 Peace Dollar (Gen 2 Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/9yg4TVy (70.00)
1934 D MS62 DBL DIE OBV VAM-3 Peace Dollar (Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/ScGb7bg (350.00)
1934 D AU58 VAM-3 DDO LG D Peace Dollar (Soapbox) https://imgur.com/a/dHDSh01 (250.00)
1972 S PR69DCAM Silver Ike https://imgur.com/a/ZvzTrmV (30.00)
1972 S PR69DCAM Silver Ike https://imgur.com/a/6L9ztbd (30.00)
1973 S PR69DCAM Silver Ike https://imgur.com/a/yqKTUSf (40.00)
1997 Proof Silver Eagle (OGP) https://imgur.com/a/kZd3qoZ (80.00)
2005 Silver Eagle First Strike MS69 https://imgur.com/a/pxRPFuS (40.00)
2005 Silver Eagle MS69 https://imgur.com/a/zxzSuSv (38.00)
2005 Silver Eagle MS69 https://imgur.com/a/GCkFghF (35.00)
Video 2: https://imgur.com/a/Yl2VsqP
2011 Silver Eagle First Strike Struck at San Francisco MS69 https://imgur.com/a/wbiDsUC (40.00)
2013 (S) Silver Eagle First Strike Struck at San Francisco MS69 https://imgur.com/a/X5IzVR9 (40.00)
2013 (S) Silver Eagle Early Releases Struck at San Francisco MS69 https://imgur.com/a/SV5Xj43 (40.00)
2021 Peace Dollar in OGP https://imgur.com/a/BlwZkB5 (205.00)
Half Dollars
1854 O G Seated Half https://imgur.com/a/5YDXLlt (30.00)
1877 G Seated Half Dollar (Cleaned) https://imgur.com/a/GiX4bzc (25.00)
1892 AG Barber Half https://imgur.com/a/AFFhmVx (35.00)
1916 S AG Walking Liberty Half https://imgur.com/a/1weOxxW (50.00)
1921 S AG Walking Liberty Half https://imgur.com/a/enXOi59 (50.00)
1936 York Half Dollar (Green CAC and Rattler) https://imgur.com/a/1BD0GBz (280.00)
1946 AU58 Half Dollar DDR (Subtle Blue and Gold Toner in a Soap Box) https://imgur.com/a/cnLo0uV (325.00)
Error Link: https://www.pcgs.com/coinfacts/coin/1946-50c-doubled-die-reverse/6632
1953 D MS64FBL Franklin (Crack on Case, so the Price is Discounted) https://imgur.com/a/ag9u9xU (40.00)
1956 PF67 Type 2 Franklin (Fatty) https://imgur.com/a/wSp88Pe (60.00)
1958 MS66 Franklin (Toner) https://imgur.com/a/xPXZujb (75.00)
1960 PR65 Franklin (Rattler) https://imgur.com/a/YNKqQ9G (40.00)
1962 PF67 Franklin (Toner in a Fatty) https://imgur.com/a/gzkvg20 (40.00)
1962 PF67 Franklin (Toner in a Fatty) https://imgur.com/a/TNSnBme (35.00)
1963 PF66 Ultra Cameo Franklin https://imgur.com/a/WNMCpYG (130.00)
2014 S PR69DCAM First Strike Limited Edition PR Set Kennedy Half https://imgur.com/a/CDL35LL (35.00)
Quarters
1871 S G Seated Quarter (Key Date!) (Counterstamped) https://imgur.com/a/yfl3y0h (425.00)
1893 S Barber Quarter VG (Gorgeous Toner) https://imgur.com/a/WcLNcJb (35.00)
Video 2: https://imgur.com/a/mr6RPW0
1905 O Barber Quarter F https://imgur.com/a/mntr7ex (48.00)
1x Face (1936, 1936, 1937 D, 1945) (Under Melt!) https://imgur.com/a/5G9pq7N (22.00)
Dimes
1837 F Dime (Bent) https://imgur.com/a/Aa5Ats5 (30.00)
1929 D MS64FB Merc (Toned) https://imgur.com/a/vK1aCx4 (175.00)
Video 2: https://imgur.com/a/VAeQgL2
1942 MS65FB Mercury Dime (OGH) https://imgur.com/a/BoyszIc (45.00)
1944 MS66 Mercury Dime (Green CAC and Fatty) https://imgur.com/a/srJTfWG (70.00)
1957 D MS66 Dime (Toner) https://imgur.com/a/Cfl2KJY (40.00)
1964 PF68 Ultra Cameo Dime https://imgur.com/a/0jkPTSz (40.00)
1982 No P Dime (Rattler! and Haze) https://imgur.com/a/c7AQGiQ (450.00)
Video 2: https://imgur.com/a/y3i4wos
Images: https://imgur.com/a/OC0PJPN
Nickels
1938 D MS63 Buffalo Nickel (Fatty) https://imgur.com/a/hunfpfF (30.00)
1942 PR63 Jefferson Nickel (Toner) https://imgur.com/a/C91dcKR (50.00)
1963 PF69 Cameo Nickel (Very Pretty Coin) https://imgur.com/a/ESByy63 (50.00)
Cents
1858 Flying Eagle Cent FR https://imgur.com/a/7uqYwO1 (12.00)
1873 Open 3 AU Details Corrosion IHC (Attractive Coin!) https://imgur.com/a/nuAw0vJ (125.00)
1937 S MS66 RD Wheat Penny https://imgur.com/a/A4wskUD (30.00)
1946-D MS67 RED Soapbox https://imgur.com/a/JCwe4i1 (145.00)
Anicents
Maximinus I Denarius MS ⅘, ⅘ https://imgur.com/a/5u7GLt1 (350.00)
ROMAN EMPIRE: Maximinus I, AD 235-238, AR Denarius (20mm, 3.59 gm, 12h). NGC MS 4/5 - 4/5. Rome, ca. January AD 236-April AD 238. MAXIMINVS PIVS AVG GERM, laureate, draped, cuirassed bust of Maximinus I right / FIDES M-I-LITVM, Fides standing facing, head left, with standard in each hand, one on each side. RIC IV.II 18A.
Shipping for coins (non-coins vary) is 5 Dollars for 12 ounces total weight or less, 8 dollars for over 12 ounces; I am accepting Zelle (Preferred), PPFF (No notes pls), Cashpp, and Venmo FF (No notes pls). (USA only for these rates, special rates of other locations).
For Canada: Shipping for coins (non-coins vary) is 15 Dollars for 8 ounces total weight or less, 23 Dollars for 9 ounces or more.
I can risky ship anything that can be reasonable sent in a regular envelope with a stamp or two for a dollar of shipping
Disclaimer: I lose all responsibility once I drop the package at the post office, but I will help in any way I can for any issues that occur. I will ship once payment clears (once it no longer says pending in my bank account) (Zelle normally is good to go the next day, PP and Venmo can take a few days). Also, deposits can be made for any item for 25 percent or more of the agreed price, but the deposit is nonrefundable. All Payments are nonrefundable.

The first rays of rosy-fingered dawn climbed their way over the Macedonian hills and fell like arrows to glint upon the racing bronze of the Scythian raiders. Death clattered and rang among the early morning light as they made their way across the plateau towards the waking village. Gleaming in the rosy light, but obscured by the mist, they seemed like comets cast as Olympian arrows. Their horses' breath clung in the air as they dragged behind them chariots of bronze and chariots of iron. Each carried two men. Those with bronze carried a driver and an archer with bow bent, while those with iron carried a man with a mighty cleaving axe. Each driver also carried for himself a leather shield and bronze short sword. Behind the chariots came footmen equipped like the drivers, and at their flanks rode horsemen carrying one-handed axes, javelins, and wooden shields covered with leather. Thus the horde came down the valley towards the village, cloaked in the fog, but vastly beyond what their victims could hope to muster.
Then, the fog parted like the curtain of a theater. Before the coming horde stood arrayed a sturdy phalanx, a wall of bronze shields and forest of spears aimed towards the invaders. Behind them, men stood with bows bent and arrows knocked. At their center, a man sat astride a white-faced bay mare. Shining in his steel armor, he drew his bow and fired. An arrow sped into the eye of the foremost driver, and a moment later another caught his axeman in the throat. He roared with a voice like a trumpet. “MEN OF MACEDON, SET YOUR HEARTS ABLAZE!” Thus cried Leonidas Kygniois, keen eyed hunter, and with one voice his men answered him. “WOE! WOE! WOE TO THE WICKED!” At those a volley of arrows was loosed from behind the phalanx and fell among the Scythians. Many died, as Leon bid his aide unfurl the banners. Across the field each unit raised up two banners. Below was the banner of the unit, and above the sun with sixteen rays. Besides Leonidas arose his own banner, the white wolf on the blue field, under the black dragon’s wing.
The foremost forces of the Scythians were caught in the charge, unable to pull away. They crashed into the wall of shield and spear with the terrible sound of breaking bones, shearing bronze, dying horses and dying men. All the while arrows continued to rain, and the slaughter was brutal. But then, swift as a winding river, the Scythians turned and wheeled away. The chariots of bronze sent forth arrows of their own, coated in serpent’s venom. The phalanx raised their shields, and covered themselves. Even so some struck through, and the venom wrought a terrible toll on the men. Even so, the phalanx began to march forwards, stepping over the dead with their grim chant. “WOE! WOE! WOE TO THE WICKED”. With this chant they kept their stride, and advanced as a seamless wall. The wounded fell back, helped by their brothers. The archers helped guide them back, and reservists stepped forwards to replace them. Thus the army advanced.
The Scythians pulled back, and danced at the range of the archers. They sought a weakness, or to create a weakness. The bronze chariots formed into a circle and spun like a wheel. Each man turned and fired, and slipped out of range. It was troublesome to target and gave each Scythian plenty of time to line up his shot. In their midst was one most terrible, their chief in gilded chariot. Shining was their armor, brilliant as the sun, head hidden behind a helm like a lion. Their bow was strong and eye keen. Whenever they loosed, a Hellene fell dead.

At the same time, the chariots of iron gathered on the left, and with them the horsemen of the left. The army of the Hellenes had deployed on the flat ground before the village, with a forest on their right to guard that flank. For a flanked phalanx was a doomed phalanx, and the flat ground was optimal both for maintaining a unified line, but also for the chariots and horsemen to maneuver. So the scythians gathered on the left, and sought to envelop the Hellenes there. Their chief suspected their enemy might have hidden horsemen in the mists, and so the wheel turned. They drew forth arrows set with whistles and fired them into the flank. The arrows screamed with a terrible sound to spook horses and sunder morale. Then forwards the flanking force drove to envelop the foe, or else slip behind them to wreak ruin among the archers.

There they found the strongest of the Hellenes. Beneath a banner showing serpent-haired Medusa, they stood clad head to toe in steel. No arrow could find purchase against these immortals, and no blade of bronze could wound them. They turned with grim purpose, spears tracking the foe as the mist lifted. The flanking scythians found themselves with no cover, facing no exposed flank, but the royal elite of the Macedonian army.
Then out from their midst stepped a dark-haired woman with piercing blue eyes. She pulled back her cowl to reveal a diadem, and opened her thumb on a bladed ring. She reached into her cloak and drew forth iron shavings, a magnetic stone, and rose thorns. Then she spoke words of power and imposed her sovereignty over reality.
“Apaangan
Loha
Kaante”
Then she blew the iron over the field. From the bones of the earth, iron answered. It erupted like a field of nails under the feet of the horses. They screamed in pain and stumbled. They fell and cast their riders on the thorns, or else were slowed in their stride. Thus the charge was stalled and the pace ruined. Then spoke the witch again and the air stank of ozone.
“Trisula.
Munhatod
Bijalee chamakana.”
By these words she called forth lightning. It came as a brilliant trident to her bloodied hand. Her hair came alight into the air with static, her diadem gleamed in its light. The enemy saw her and beheld the dread heir of Olympus, last and mightiest of the demigods, Queen Cassandra of the Macedonians. She hurled forth her trident into the air. There it broke and a storm cloud formed over the battle. The fury of Heaven rained down on the chariots of the Scythians. Their chariots of iron were brought to ruin. Their men fell bloodied, deafened, and burned. So Cassandra brought ruin to her enemies.
Thus, the enemy retreated from the hellene lines, and fled from the wrath of Cassandra, daughter of Zeus. For her fury was terrible, and her deeds were mighty. Thus they came back around their chief, and escaped the ruin that had come upon them. They withdrew, step by step, and runners were sent further back to the baggage train to make ready. On the Hellenes came against them, but they were slow in step and cautious. Leon watched the canny chief of the Scythians, and never did his eye wander. The chief in turn watched him, and both put hand to bow, though they did not loose at one another. The range was wrong, but each made ready for their duel.
At length, the Hellenes pushed the Scythians back beyond the extent of the forest, and so their left became exposed. Their chief launched a probing attack with their horsemen, who drew near and threw their javelins into the midst of the Hellene line. The line recoiled, pulling back and inwards, bunching up. At this sign of weakness, at once the chieftain struck. The chariots closed in for the kill. Likewise, the horsemen circled and lowered their spears. As one they would drive into the exposed flank of the Hellenes and drive them from the field.
Then the forest vanished. It had not all been an illusion of it, but enough of it. The chieftain turned, the world seemingly slowing to a crawl. Out of the fading shadow ran bold men armed with long spears. They crashed into the flank of the charging horde and into the midst of the chariots. They drove their spears into the wheels of the chariots, and ground them to a stop. They thrust upwards at the horsemen, who’s mounts reared away from the danger. The charge had been utterly disorganized by this sudden surprise attack, and the advantage was to the Hellenes.
Valiantly the Scythians fought, and most valiant was their chieftain. They lashed about themselves with axes and swords. Their chieftain hefted high a mighty flax; a reverse-edged blade held in two hands. Down the falx fell, and a Hellene that drew too near was all but split in two. The surprise was sudden, but for their charge the Hellenes had forsaken shield and heavy armor. As surprise faded, the battle seemed to shift in favor of the Scythians. Yet the chieftain lifted up their eyes, and saw that they were in danger. The Hellene cavalry finally made its move. Slipping in behind and around the bulk of the Scythian force, with Leonidas at their head, they made to encircle and destroy the Scythian mobile element.
Then the tide truly turned against the Scythians, as a roar sounded out of the mist. A shadowy blur, nearly the size of an elephant, was among them. It snatched the wounded out of the jaws of death, and threw aside chariot and horse with ease. Axes struck at it, and bounced. Spears thrust and were broken. A few bold horsemen charged towards the black mass in the mist, then she raised up her head. Great wings split the mists aside, and her majesty froze horse and rider alike in terror.
Her body was like that of a panther or other great cat, covered in interlocking scales like a serpent. Her four limbs were long and powerful, ending in mighty claws gleaming white as ivory. A tail like a scorpion lashed, a glaive-headed blade at its tip, sharp enough to split a man in twain, swifter than arrows. A long neck terminated in a head a bit like a horse, a bit like a viper, and a bit like a bird of prey. Plated black scales overlapped across her body, gleaming in the dawnlight, sturdier than steel, yet flowing like water. Blue fire lapped around the edges of a mouth full of teeth like daggers. Two great wings eclpsed heaven behind her, leathery like a bat. Long white scars from battles past covered her throat, as eyes like amber froze men like trapped bugs.
Seramis of Achaea, the Dragon Princess, entered the battlefield.
The chieftain saw this doom amongst their men, but watched with wisdom. Though Seramis wielded terror as her weapon, roaring with flame and talons drawn, she wielded only terror. She might have slain many easily, but she used the Gehennan flames as only a firewall. Her tail lashed and claws struck, but they slapped rather than slashing. The dragoness certainly broke bones, but that was more a function of mass than malice. Her priority was the wounded, and she struck those that got in her way.
“Avoid the dragon! Do not strike the wounded, nor stand to capture them! Slay them in a single blow, or wound them and move away before the dragon intervenes!” The chieftain cried, and while the Hellenes could not understand her, Seramis did. The Diluvian princess turned her head and looked toward the lion-helmed Scythian. The pair shared a look of understanding, before the tumult of battle resumed their attention.
Seramis continued her work, all the easier for the lack of interference. Acting as both medic and ambulance, she rescued the wounded, Hellene and Scythian alike. Following in her shadow came a creature a bit like a ram, with seven horns of lapis lazuli. This was her familiar, a spirit of knowledge she called Elijah. He acted as her diagnosticator, identifying wounds and ailments to aid her work. Sera cast spells of healing, not complex work but quick and efficient. Bleeding stalled, bones were set, and pain was soothed. Then she would take the wounded and lash them to her side and back with tendrils of shadow. Once she had gathered a full load of men, she retreated back behind the Hellene lines. There she deposited them with the healers, and leapt forth to rescue yet more.
With the dragoness identified as less a threat, and more a mobile hazard, the Scythians returned their focus to the Hellene cavalry. Their own cavalry had been Leon’s primary target during the initial confusion of the charge, and he had made good use of the opportunity. Many a Scythian horseman had been slain in those first few moments, and no less than thirteen by the prince of marathon’s own hand. The white-feathered shafts of his steel-tipped arrows were seen planted in throat, eye, and heart, a testament to the prince’s deadly aim and fearsome bow. For he was wolf to ringbearers, and the strength of his bow and the superior metal of his arrows pierced breastplates of bronze, even the scale mail of the Scythians.
Even so, while the Hellenes had bled the Scythian horse fiercely, they had less success against the charioteers. The chariots provided additional cover from Hellene javelins, and space to evade their lances. Moreover, their sturdy construction made them perilous to the Hellenes horses, as a swinging wheel could easily break a leg. Finally, the simple fact that each chariot was a two-man team allowed for greater resilience. One man focused on driving, and the other on fighting. If either was wounded so they could not do their work as well, they could switch. Even if the driver was outright killed, the other could take over and use the mass of the chariot as a weapon. So, though the play gave the Hellenes the advantage, the Scythians were far from out of the fight.
So, with fury, their chieftain rallied their men about them and led a fierce counterattack. With the superior durability of the chariots and their mighty chief at their head, the Scythians reaped a bloody retaliation on their foes. Leonidas ordered his men back, to gather themselves anew. Each side had been bloodied, and both sought a retreat. Then with a cry, he took his personal guard back in, aimed directly at the enemy general. His bow was drawn, and fired.
The Scythian general stepped to the side of their chariot, dodging the shot. They drew their own bow, aimed, and fired. Leon evaded, but he wasn’t the target. Instead, his horse was. The white-faced bay mare took the Scythian’s arrow in her flank. The wound was minor, but the poison was not. She ran on seven steps, then seized, and fell down dead. Leon leapt from his dying steed, and landed in a roll. He came up with shield and spear at the ready, as the Scythian chief turned their chariot towards him.
The two general’s bodyguards whirled in a melee as the Scythian and Hellene commanders faced each other in single combat. The Scythian forsook their bow, knowing their poisoned arrows could not pierce the prince’s steel armor. Instead they raised high their fell falx, as their chariot closed in. Leon readied himself as the chariot closed to trample him. Then, at the last moment he sprang aside, unusually agile despite his heavy armor. Still, the lion helm tracked him, and down the falx came. Leonidas raised his shield and set his feet. The shield was steel, and sturdy enough to shatter a blade of bronze such as the falx falling upon him. But it struck true, and carved the steel shield, then kept going. Leon pulled back, but he’d braced himself and couldn’t maneuver. His steel armor parted, and he came away with a serious gash in his arm. He felt the blade hit bone, and realized that if he hadn’t been so well equipped, that blade would have taken his left arm off, cutting straight through the bone.
Still, though he bled, he did not quail. He threw aside his ruined shield and took his spear in both hands. While his foe had the mass and momentum of a charging chariot, the physics of metallurgy dictated that their blade should have broken against him. Curved blades were more fragile, a trade-off for their superior cutting power, and a bronze blade should have no chance against steel. If physics were being violated, it meant sorcery was at play. The enemy’s blade was enchanted.
Again came the chieftain with their blessed blade. Their horses panted heavily in the air, adding to the rattle of the chariot. Chaos swirled around them, but Leon silenced it. The world reduced to simply himself, his enemy, and the vanishing space between. He set his target, and waited for the space to entirely vanish. The beat of the horse’s hooves were set like a metronome. Then, at the precise beat, he shattered the rhythm. He drove his spear forwards into the knee of the Scythian horse. The spear’s wooden haft shattered from the force, but so did the stallion’s leg. It collapsed in a bloody heap, tangling its partner. The chariot crashed into its steeds, slaying both brutally. The chieftain and their driver were staggered, but grasped hold of the chariot and were not thrown.
Leonidas took fourteen calculated steps, moving around the wreck of the chariot, then stepping aboard. In a single motion he drew his blade and cut upwards. The driver fell back as a spray of blood erupted from his throat. He slumped over the front of the chariot, blood flowing to mingle with the horses. Leon whirled on the chieftain as a shout of rage came to their lips. He stepped in close, too close for his foe to swing their great blade effectively. Here, his short blade had the advantage, and the chariot cornered his target. He drew the blade back to his hip like he was knife-fighting, and thrust upwards towards the foe’s beast. The scaled armor of the Scythians was legendarily hard to slash through, but the overlapping scales that caused such strength were vulnerable to this exact kind of upwards thrust. But his canny foe knew the armor’s weaknesses just as well, and pivoted with agility to rival the warrior prince.
They slashed with their great falx, but the range was awkward, so Leon evaded. He then pivoted, taking his blade in both hands. Gritting through the pain of his wounded arm, he wheeled with a mighty blow. He put his back, legs, and both arms into a murderous strike too quick to evade. The Scythian chief recognized it, and ducked their head. Rather than suffering a decapitating blow, they took the hit on the crown of their helm. The gold gilding it deformed and parted, but this was by design. By using a coating of deformable gold above the bronze, the helmet could better absorb slashing attacks. The gold twisted as it was cut, catching the blade and altering the edge alignment. Leon cut though, but rather than burying his sword midway into his target’s skull, he cut apart the helm and left a relatively shallow wound along his foe’s scalp, running down their forehead and across their face. The lion helm split, and fell away. Leon looked the enemy general in the eye for the first time, and hesitated.
The helm fell away, and out spilled long, golden hair, now matted in places by blood. A fair face, with piercing blue eyes looked up at him. A warrior’s snarl covered her face, as the Scythian Queen recovered. She snapped up and slammed the hilt of her falx into Leon’s eye. The prince staggered back, blinking to recover, as she took a step back in turn. With this, she obtained her range, and cut down with her falx. Leon raised his sword to block, but the reverse curve of the unusual weapon made it difficult. His wound caused his arm to spasm, and the curve came around the sword. The enchanted blade bit ito the common one, then cast it away. Leon’s wrist was wounded in the exchange, and blood began to fill his gauntlet.
Leon realized his peril, and stepped in swiftly. He caught his foot behind hers, and pulled back as he slammed his shoulder into her. The queen fell back, but caught herself on the edge of her chariot so she did not fall. Leon pressed in, pinning her arm with his his hand so she could not swing. He drew his hunting knife, and it was at her throat in a moment. His grip was unsteady, as his wrist was wounded, and he felt an utter brute to have a knife at a woman’s throat. “Yield. I do not wish to harm you.” He ordered, uncertain if she could even understand.
The Scythian Queen laughed in his face. “You do not wish to harm me?” She asked through a thick accent. “Then you should never have come to the battlefield! Know that I am Tamur, Queen of the Scythians, no soft flower of the south that you might bruise with your breath. I am here to that I might crush my enemies, drive them before me, hear the lamentations of your pathetic women, and reap from your ruin the prosperity of my people. Slay me now you coward, or else you must yield, for I will slay you without mercy.” Clear and clarion was her voice, as Athena upon the battlefield or Artemis on the hunt. She feared neither death nor injury, and laughed in spite of the carnage all about them.
Leon held his ground and was not moved by her laughter or insult. “Hear me then, oh Queen of the Scythians. What is greater cowardice? To be slain for principle, or to breach principle for fear of being slain? You are a mighty warrior; this I cannot deny. But this is my principle, that no man is any man that slays a woman, even if she is a warrior. I bid you now yield, that we might bring peace between our people and an end to this meaningless conflict you have brought about.” He spoke with all respect due to a fellow warrior, and with the resolve of his own indestructible soul.
“Far be it from meaningless, warrior of the Hellenes. Would you not do anything, even go beyond the bounds of the earth for your people? Hear now my principle, that my people shall conquer that we might not be conquered. For you who are blessed with so much shall not offer a pittance to our meager tents. So we shall take, for this is the nature of things, that the prosperity of one must always be at the expense of another. This is the balance of the world, and it belongs to he who carries the sword.”
Then she snapped her head forward, and impacted with Leon’s helm. Headbutting a steel helmet with your bare, already wounded head is generally not a good idea. But she was braced, and he was not. The maneuver would have opened her throat, but Leon had held back his knife for his soul rebuked him to harm a woman. Needless to say this principle, while generally noble, was extremely foolish in this instance. Chivalry was certainly not on Tamur’s mind as she pushed him back, and kicked him in the balls.
Leon was wearing armor and greaves, but about his waist was more of a plated skirt than a codpiece. The introduction of a bronze boot to that region inflicted less damage than it might, but this was in the sense that his family line could continue, rather than full nullification. He staggered further back, agility shattered. Tamur lashed out with her falx, and Leon wisely rolled away.
Leonidas began pushing himself back to his feet, but a Scythian archer circled. Whether by skill or by luck, they let fly their arrow and it struck true into the gash their queen had torn in the prince’s armor. Leon gasped briefly in pain as the arrow hit under his shoulder plate and pierced the meat of his back. It went through to the rib, and cracked it. He felt his blood already burning as the poisoned arrow delivered its deadly payload into his veins. The meat of muscle across his back began to scream and spasm, dropping him back to the earth. He saw Tamur approaching, and grit his teeth to rise through the pain. He was too slow, the falx came up…
Then there was a rush of wind, a smell of sulfur, and the sound of bronze ringing against talon, then scraping against scale. Seramis had intervened. She swooped in, and her talon met the falling flax. The two mighty women’s blades rang against one another, then Tamur shifted the blade. She cut across the dragoness’s palm and wounded her, drawing blood as the enchanted weapon carved scale. Seramis retaliated by coiling her tail, then striking forth with it like a whip. The foot and a half long blade at the end of the tail met the barbarian queen’s guard, and drove her back. The blade of the falx shook and sang like a tuning fork.
Seramis lowered her head, and spoke with a voice tinged with fire. She spoke in the Scythian’s own language, a growl deep in her throat and fire on her tongue. “Have you not heard, queen of the Scythians, that one should not trifle with a dragon’s hoard? If not, then I will educate you. Come not between a daughter of Tiamat and her treasure. This is folly, and will be your ruin should you persist.”
Tamur heard the words of the dragoness, and looked once to the blood on her sword, and once to the flames in the maw before her. She saw the damage the hellenes had wrought on her vanguard, and the advance of their phalanx. She stepped back, and ordered a retreat. Scythian and Diluvian locked eyes as the queen boarded a new chariot, and swiftly they retreated from the battlefield.
Sera breathed a sigh of relief, and quickly turned to her prince. Leon had kept trying to get up, and managed to stagger to his feet. Gently, she took him in an unwounded claw, and bore him away. “Leon, please tell me you can hear me.”
“I can. Ow.” Leon replied, breathing slowly, and deeply, to keep his face and voice from twisting in pain. “What did you say to her?”
“Just a bit of theater to make her leave, don’t worry about it. You focus on not dying, oh chivalrous fool mine.”
“Hah. Tease me when I’m not dying, would you kindly? It hurts too much to laugh.”
“Maybe next time, don’t be such an idiot then.”
“Ah, but then how would you have an excuse to rescue me?”
“Please, we both know I don’t need an excuse to steal you away. I’ve done it before.” Sera teased, and Leon smiled through the pain.
Even as two of the trio of royals retreated, Cassandra remained. She saw the Scythians trying to quit the field, and that the ambush had not been successful enough. They had mauled the Scythian mobile element, but not utterly broken it. She sent an order for caution, for if they overpursued the wily Scythian general, she might turn and crush them in turn. Still, she would not allow her enemy to escape her wrath so easily. She cast again, and thunder boomed across the clear morning.
“Avataar”
“Poorvaj”
“Rosh”
The mists of early morning fled from the Hellenes, and ran down the Scythians. The retreating barbarians turned, and saw the mists gather together into a humanoid figure. Long curls of smoke came down from a scowling face, almost akin to hair. Winds howled like limbs to throw men from horse and chariot. Tamur quickly evaded as the growing titan of mist swung, clear blue eyes gleaming amongst the artificial cloud. Then the avatar drew back its hand, and lighting crackled into being. The heir of Olympus and last daughter of Zeus hurled down lighting bolts at the Scythians, reminding all why even with the thrones of Olympus long empty and ashen, they were still remembered in myth and legend.
Bolts of lightning mauled man and horse alike. Chariots fell away twisted and burning. Thunder terrified men and horses. Cassandra watched from the eyes of her avatar as she delivered the wrath of an angry god upon then. “I am the dread Queen of Macedon. I am the miracle of destruction. I am mankind’s answer to dragons, and you dare, YOU DARE! Come to my home, my kingdom, and hurt my people, and now you think you can simply run away?” The whisper grew to a roaring fury, bolts of lightning leaping from her eyes to slay yet more.
Then Tamur cried a loud challenge, and bid her driver turn the chariot. She charged at the avatar of mist and storm, raising her blade high. In rage, Cassandra cast down another bolt of lightning, but Tamur raised up her sword. The bolt caught the bronze blade, but did not rip down through into the queen. Instead, she turned and set herself, then cut the air. Lighting ripped back into the avatar, and cut it from crown to groin. There was a clap of thunder, and the avatar was banished.
Cassandra went flying back, caught by her men, but left dazed. A wound, thankfully shallow, had sprung from no apparent source, from her crown down the center of her body, even under her armor. She staggered upright, hands shaking violently. She reached for magic, but it was like a man who was concussed. It was there, but unstable, difficult to control, unreliable. The clean, efficient control she prided herself on eluded her. She drew in a breath, and clenched her fists to stop her shaking hand. Showing no pain from her wound, she watched as the scythians slipped out of her grasp.
“Where in the world did she get a sword that can cut the soul?” Cassandra wondered aloud. Then, heeding the insistence of her men, she retreated, and ordered the army to retire from the field. She growled as she made her way back towards the medical tents. “I hate dealing with other miracles.”

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It was 7:30 in the evening when the last beams of sunlight struck the cold wall. An owl hooted somewhere in the distance, followed by a cacophony of crows and ravens. A carriage jogged along a paved path, pulled by 4 coal-black horses that whinny as they clopped over every stone.
The castle rose above us, its tallest turret touching the stars. A warm, hearty glow spilled out from the doorways, inviting us inside. The princess waited with baited breath for her charming prince.
My driver deposited me at the doorway and swallowed. His breath was deep and heavy and his eyes were too big.
“Well, this is the place,” he said. “Good luck.”
It wasn’t reassuring, but it was enough.
I found the dining room easily enough. A magnificent table squatted in the centre. The finest china, glazed with flowers. Silverware, polished under the wavering candlelight. Crystal goblets, alert and attentive.
She appeared in the doorway. Purple frills fell lightly down her knees as she glided towards me. Almost magically, the butler appeared to pour us some wine. “Thank you for coming here.”
“Of course.” I wanted her. God I wanted her. She smelled so desirable already, of dead lavender flowers rotting in the drain.
I took a sip of the wine. It tasted of iron with a raspberry finish. Hopefully like the crimson rum pumping from her heart.
The appetiser arrived, some sort of salad. Faded greens and scrunched-up tomatoes masked with ranch.
“So,” she drawled.
“How was your journey? I trust it has been comfortable.”
Indeed it had. She wrapped herself in my dreams and in my imagination, and I fell asleep with her name on my lips Bella, Bella, Bella…
The entree came, a whole roast pig that the butler automatically started to carve out. It snapped on the apple between its jowls and glared at me as the knife dug into its flesh like butter. We ate quickly then, neither wanting to break the awkward silence with small talk. I once again marvelled at how beautiful she was tonight. She was exactly how I liked my women. Mysterious.
“Are you having a good time?” Bella asked shyly. A tinge of crimson dotted her cheeks. Pale as the full moon.
Everything was good, all right. The last fragments of my thoughts settled down into a plan. Already my fangs were rising from their slumber. It was almost time. All I needed now was a distraction.
But instead she siddled closer to me, her claws creeping up my face. She planted a kiss on my lips and I crumbled. My heart murmured and I realised I couldn’t look away from those deep ruby eyes.
“You are a charming gentleman. Thank you for coming to visit me,” Bella said, and then she smiled for the first time all evening. There was that hungry look in her eyes that I knew all too well; and there were her fangs hanging over her teeth, dripping with drool.

Mr. Winslow accused my mother of stealing his dead wife’s jewelry.
I explained it was impossible. He was welcome to search the tiny apartment I shared with my mother and aunt, he could look wherever he wanted.
“We share a tiny space,” I said. “We barely have enough room for our clothes. I don’t even know where she would hide jewelry.”
I was worried we would lose him as a client. Which would suck because cleaning his house was basically the majority of our rent cheque. But a week later he found the pearl necklace, it had somehow travelled down to his basement.
“I’m still missing the gold bangle though,” he said. “And some earrings.”
I told him I was sorry, but I had no idea. If my mom or aunt found it on their next clean, I promised they would let him know right away.
He hummed and hawed. There might’ve been a week where he hired a different maid service, but eventually he called back, asking if he could hire all three of us on-site again.
I thanked him profusely. I told him we’d keep an eye out for the missing valuables.
***
On our drive over, I had my mom and aunt practice the apology we would give him in English. Even though we didn’t steal anything, I explained we should still say sorry.
“Why?” My aunt asked. “That’s so stupid.”
“Everyone apologizes for everything in Canada. Just trust me. He will want it.”
“We need the work,” my mom said.
For a second my aunt revved up to say something else, but then let it go. We did need the work.
When we arrived, Mr. Winslow was on a phone call, watching his two large goldendoodles play in the front yard. He waved, then gestured to the front door. My mom and aunt gave small bows and carried their cleaning supplies inside.
Before I could enter, he put the phone behind his ear and approached me.
“Ida, hi. Good to see you again. Listen, don't worry about the jewelry. Water under the bridge. Hey. I’m leaving in an hour or so, and I won’t be back until late tonight. I’m wondering if you’d be interested in dog-sitting? You’ve been around Toto and Kipper. What do you think? I’d really appreciate the help.”
I never liked the way he looked at me. It was always too close, and it lingered for too long. My aunt may have been right in that he hired us back just to see me again, but I ignored the thought.
“And don’t worry, I can cover your cab back. My usual walker is just out on holiday. You can help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge. How does six hundred sound?”
I looked at his house and imagined if I would be comfortable there. Alone at night.
“I’ll make it seven-hundred. I know it's last minute. I just hate leaving them alone. Plus Toto has his medicine. You would do me a real solid.”
My apron needed adjusting so I put down my bucket. I focused on the polyester knot, keeping my gaze away from his. I really didn’t want to be doing this, but my aunt would call me stupid for refusing easy money. And frankly, so would I.
“I had plans, but I’m willing to give them up.” I said with a straight face. “Eight hundred and it’s a done deal.”
He paused for a second, observing me scrupulously. Then he found his usual, smarmy half-smile. “You’re a life saver, you know that? An Angel.”
His hand gripped my shoulder. Then patted it twice.
***
Both my mom and aunt were pleased about the extra cash, they said I deserved to make extra for all the bookkeeping I do. But they also both voiced their concerns for safety. They said they could stay with me if I wanted.
“Safety? Mamãe I’m just watching two dogs.”
My mom wiped a caked red stain off his counter. An old wine spill. “Yes, but so late in his house? You’re not worried he might … I don’t know …”
Might what? Exploit me?
I met his groundskeeper once, another immigrant contractor. Except the groundskeeper was being paid far less, because he never properly negotiated. Mr. Winslow was certainly capable of exploiting people when he wanted to, and I’m sure he would try the same on my family.
But I was different. I’d gone to school in Banniver, and I knew the little maneuvers played by the so-called “progressive people in North America.”
And Winslow knew it too.
He didn’t realize a Canadian-raised daughter organized her mom’s cleaning service. Or that she would show up on the first day as a statement. That statement being: You can’t get away with mistreating these old Brazilian women. And you certainly can’t swindle them out of the going rates in his neighborhood. I’m onto you.
I had asserted myself with this Mr. Winslow, and felt confident that I could stand my ground if he tried any bullshit.
“Mamãe I’m not worried about him. Really, I’m not. He’s a pushover.”
***
6:00PM rolled around, it was just me and the goldendoodles.
My mom and aunt were back at home, watching low-res soaps on a Macbook, but they said if I encountered anything strange—a sound, a smell, an unexpected car in the driveway—to give them a call right away.
“Mamãe, its two dogs. I’ll be fine.”
“Just keep your phone close Ida. Your auntie has sensed things in that house. Unpleasant things.”
I forgot to mention my aunt thinks of herself as an amateur medium. In the village she grew up in, she claimed she could sometimes see people who were recently deceased.
But I never really believed her. Mostly because it was also my auntie’s idea to charge families who wanted to forward messages to the very same people who were recently deceased.
“Okay mamãe, whatever you say. I’ll phone you if I get scared.”
“That house has a history Ida, you could feel it in the walls. The outside too.”
It sure does. A history of being owned by a wealthy prick.
***
The sun slinked below the overcast horizon like a dying lantern. It got dark much faster than I expected.
I kept all the lights on, and played with the dogs a bit, trying to encourage them to try piss on the shag rug. Neither did. They mostly wanted naps.
I tried napping for a bit too, but the leather couch felt like it was made of rock. I just couldn’t get comfortable.
Eventually I made myself dinner—some pasta that had been bought from Whole Foods—and ate it while scrolling on my phone.
I was just about done, ready to take my dirty plate in the sink when I first heard it.
The first explosion.
It came from the basement. A vibrating KAPOW that rattled the windows and chandelier on my floor. It sounded like someone had set off a cherry bomb.
What the hell?
I turned to the dogs who were just as scared as I was. They came whimpering with tails between their legs.
Could a pipe have burst or something?
I looked at the basement door, an area we were not instructed to clean, and then heard another explosion.
Vases shook. A painting went tilted. It sounded louder. Like full grade firework. I had lived in Rio de Janeiro, by Prianha beach, where they often launched celebratory fireworks. This was just as deafening.
I didn’t want to go down to the basement. In fact, I sat by the front door.
Both dogs huddled around me.
***
Twenty minutes passed. It had been quiet.
Out of pride I refused to call my mom—I didn’t want to admit I was scared. Instead, I spent the time going through all the rational answers in my head that could explain away the noise. Plumbing, terrorism, teen pranks … hot springs?
There were hot springs all over West Bann.
Obviously, some kind of pent-up geyser had lay dormant for a while, and it was now suddenly unleashing a ton of energy below Mr. Winslow’s house. To distract myself, I Wikipedia’d the history of West Banniver, and satisfied this theory.
During the 1850’s gold rush, West Banniver saw rapid settlement as a mining town. The proliferation of mine shafts soon led to a discovery of underground hot springs. Mayfield Briggs Ltd which was the first company to seize the opportunity as a tourist attraction…
That’s all it was. A hot spring releasing a buildup of pressure.
Then a third explosion came.
It was so loud and violent that the door to the basement flew open. I fell to the ground and covered my head as several books went flying off nearby shelves.
The dogs yipped and barked like crazy. They stood in front of me, guarding against an unseen force. A voice shrieked from the basement.
“HELP!!! HELLLLP!”
Rivets shot through my hands and knees. I was frozen to the floor.
“PLEEEEEEASE!”
It had the high-pitched desperation of someone whose life was about to end. I raised my head and listened closely to hear haggard, dusty coughing. It sounded like an old man’s cough. It echoed through the basement and into the living room. Between coughs the man continued to plead for his life.
HELLLLP!”
I had no idea who it could be or how he got down there.
Before I could think, one of the dogs shot past me, bolting down the basement steps, barking ferociously.
“Kipper!”
I tried to grab the loose leash, but I could only hold the collar of his sibling. “Kipper come back here!”
“HELLO?” The voice from below seemed to recognize my presence. “PLEASE, YOU’VE GOT TO HELP!”
I was now upright, breathing as fast as Toto was panting. I tied Toto to the thick rails on the stairs. I had to save the other dog.
Instinctually I grabbed my phone, slipped an AirPod in one ear, and dialed my mother without even looking at the screen.
“Mãe. There’s … something terrible is happening.”
My mother was suitably confused. Even more so when she heard the screaming of the man downstairs as his voice echoed in the living room. It was a cry of immense, awful pain.
After two slower, more detailed explanations of what I just heard, my mother told me to call the fire department. “Poke your head through the basement, see what’s happening. Then call the fire department.”
That made sense to me. I inched my way to the basement entrance and tried to see past the doorway. It was complete darkness. There was no light switch.
I turned the torch on my phone, and my aunt’s voice came blaring. “Get out of there Ida! I am telling you, there is darkness in that house!”
As I illuminated the dusty wooden stairs, I saw that they only lead only to more pitch black. Yup, plenty of darkness here.
There was some phone-wrestling. My mother came back on. “What is it? What did you see?”
“Don’t encourage her! Get her to leave!” my auntie yelled in the background.
I told them to pipe down because I could suddenly hear the gentle whimpering at the base of the stairs. The dog sounded close.
“Kipper come! This way! Follow my voice!”
I went down a few steps further, expecting the basement floor to appear any second, but there were only more wooden steps. How long was this staircase?
“Kipper?”
There was a flat, cold wall on my left, and no guard rail to speak of. I stepped down each step very carefully to maintain my balance, sliding my hand along the wall.
Then the wall disappeared. I flew forward.
***
I woke up lying face-first on rocky floor. My phone was cracked next to me. My mother was crying in my ear. “Ida! Ida! Oh my god! Ida!”
I looked up to see I was not at the bottom of someone’s basement. There were lights all above me. Lanterns. They were illuminating a cavernous, rocky chamber that led to many tunnels with train tracks and wooden carts. I was in the opening of a massive underground mine.
I coughed, and gave out a weak “… what?”
“Ida is that you? Are you… brrzzzzz” My mom’s voice faded.
Before I could reply, I saw the crooked form of a man in tan coveralls, shaking the immobile body of another person in coveralls next to him. In fact, there was a small row of half a dozen miners all slumped against a blasted rock wall. There were bits of granite, wood, rope, and what looked like entrails splattered all throughout.
“Oh the cruelty …” the one, standing miner said. He went from body to body and jostled each of his coworkers. “Must I find you all like this … every time?”
I crawled up to a half-standing pose and tried to see the face of the hunched over survivor.
My heart dropped.
He had no face.
The explosion which must have killed some of friends had also blasted away this man’s entire sternum, neck and skull. The miner wasn’t hunched over or leaning away with his head, he just simply … had no head.
And up there, floating right in the middle of where his face should be, were a set of eyeballs, glistening under the yellow lights.
The eyes turned to me. “Oh. Why hello. Hello there.”
Terrified, I rose to complete standing and opened both my palms in a show of total deference. “I don’t know. I don’t know who you are or what this is.”
The headless miner walked toward me. I noticed he carried a pickaxe in his right arm. He gestured with his left to where his ear would be.
“I’m sorry I can’t hear you. Had an accident.”
Despite him having no head, his voice still came from where his mouth would be. There was an earnestness in his speech, it might have had something to do with his very old-timey accent, but I still felt like he was trying to be friendly.
“Another batch of faulty dynamite. Everyone’s dead. But what else is new.”
He brought his left palm to his face, perhaps to wipe away tears, but instead his hand travelled through his nonexistent head to scratch a small portion of his back.
“Been dead for many years I’m afraid. But I’ve kept busy. Been a good man. Worked very hard for the boss upstairs.”
He gestured upwards with the pickaxe. I looked up, and out in the distance, I saw a large, ancient, set of wooden stairs that I must have fallen from. They extended far up into the mine’s ceiling and kept going.
“He’s gotten good ore from me. Good, shining, golden ore. I have a knack for it you see. The same knack that killed me so many years ago. It's probably what’s still keeping me around though.”
He came closer. I could see he had brown irises, with one of the cataracts deteriorating into milky white haze. The eyes stared at me, unblinking.
“Because I’m not done, see. This mine isn’t empty. I know there’s more gold. Much more. And it’s not all for the boss. No, I’m keeping some to myself. Don’t tell him, but I’ve been stashing a large deposit for myself. It can’t all be his of course. It’s my mine after all. Half these tunnels were dug entirely by me. So of course I deserve some. It’s only natural.”
I lifted my hand and pointed at the staircase behind him. I mouthed very big, obvious words. “I have to go back. I’m going back up those stairs.”
He shifted his body. His two eyes turned in the air as if they were still inside an invisible skull. I saw nerve endings at the back undulate and twist.
“Yes, that is the only way up.”
My heart was in my throat. At least I found some form of communication. I gestured to knee height and nervously asked if he had seen a “large, shaggy dog.”
“Ah yes. I’ve seen the pooches. They come down here sometimes. When the booms don’t scare em that is. Hahah.”
I gave a thumbs up. It felt like a ridiculous interaction with a ghost, or zombie or whatever this was, but at least it was working.
“I think I saw his little tail run over that way. They like the smell of the mineral spring.”
I turned behind to see the long tunnel he was pointing at. It was dimly lit by a chain of smaller lanterns.
I thought I saw a flutter of movement, and I would have kept looking further if it wasn’t for my aunt’s voice that suddenly exploded in my ear. “Brrrzt … Ida! If you can hear us, we are calling the police to your location. Help is coming soon! … ”
I winced and stepped back—which saved my life. I just so happened to step right out of the way of a pickaxe. It sparked the ground.
I gasped and stared at the headless miner. His eyes were shimmering with a dark focus, staring directly at mine.
“Oh I’ll help you find the dog. I’ll help you find whatever you want. But I’ll need those clean new eyes of yours first.”
He swung at my head. I ducked. He went for the backswing. I ran.
Stupidly, I ran in the opposite direction of the stairs. I ran straight into the long tunnel lined with dim lanterns.
But I couldn’t turn around. I had no idea how quick he could move. And the speed of his pickaxe felt supernatural.
The tunnel was narrow, and lined with wooden tracks, I had to skip-run-jump over the panels with immense precision to make sure I didn’t trip. Behind me, his voice chased.
“Go ahead. Run. I know where these all lead.”
I ignored the words and kept going. The tunnel bent left, then right, then left again. I ignored several exits before the tunnel spat me out into an open, cavernous room filled with dozens and dozens of minecarts.
I investigated the room for anything useful. A far opposite wall appeared to be the site of the latest digging, loose rock lay everywhere.
There was a small mineshaft holding a chained up cart. And something in the cart shimmered…
It was gold.
And not just ore either. There were bars, coins, medallions, and jewelry. Mrs. Winslow’s bangles were right on top.
I ran to the cart furthest from the entrance and ducked behind it, breathing heavily, coughing from all the dust.
The headless man emerged from the tunnel, pickaxe raised and scanning where I could have hid. “I may not be able to hear you. But I can follow footprints pretty easily hah. I know you’re in here.”
He grabbed the closest minecart available and pushed it into the tunnel entrance. With an immense show of strength, he lifted and dislodged the cart off the track, cramming it sideways, creating a massive obstacle.
I was sealed inside.
Trying to stay absolutely still, I coughed through my teeth. Lungs burning. My mom’s voice came through.
“Brrzzztt… The police should be there! I told them you were in danger! They said they sent a unit over. Maybe they broke down the front door?”
I looked up at the mine shaft next to me. If it did connect to the surface upstairs, this was my only chance.
I gave a couple good yells. “HEEEEELP!!! DOWN HERE!! HELP!”
I don’t know if it did any good, but it was better than nothing. I turned to see if the miner had heard anything.
He hadn't.
The pickaxe tapped and clanged awkwardly around minecart after minecart.
I had a bigger advantage than I thought.
Although the miner had two floating eyeballs, only the left one was really capable of seeing anything.
So I kept my distance and watched where he was going, always staying behind.
As he limped and peered around minecarts, I was able to evade him, move from behind rock piles and other carts, careful not to leave a trail in the rock dust.
It was all going well until I heard a familiar panting.
“Oh look. If it isn’t precious.”
The dog had managed to jump over the miner’s blockade. It must have heard my yells. Surprisingly, Kipper was unafraid of the headless villain, and even approached him to receive pets.
“Now why don’t you go say hello to our other friend here huh? I know she's here somewhere.”
No. Kipper. Please. Don’t.
The dog started sniffing. Within seconds he found my scent. Kipper skipped towards me like Lassie and excitedly licked my face.
“Aww there we are. Now isn’t that a good boy?”
I stood up and stared at the filthy, ash-stained coveralls. Despite the lack of teeth, I could sense a menacing grin where the mouth should be.
He wasn't going to lose sight of me now. I had nowhere to go.
So I did the thing my auntie said worked on all spirits. I fell to my knees and prayed.
“Please. I only came here for work. I’m too young to die. Let me go and I won't tell anyone that you're here.”
He stood over me. Both of his pupils started to quiver. In just a few seconds, his eyes were swimming excitedly within the space of his head.
I took off the only valuable I had. A gold necklace with a miniature version of Christ the Redeemer. A gift I had received as a teen in Rio. I held it out in my shaking hands.
“Please. Take it. Take everything.”
Suddenly both the eyeballs stared forward again, entranced by the gold.
“Well look at that. How generous. How generous of her. We should reward generosity shouldn’t we?”
***
It was hard for me to describe to the police officer how exactly I got out, because I have no idea.
The fiery pain where my eyes used to be overwhelmed my entire reality for hours. All I wanted was for it to stop.
They found me half inside a dumbwaiter bleeding to death from the gouges in my face.
I was taken to the hospital, where I would spend the next four weeks recovering.
The police did not in fact storm the house like my mom said. They waited outside for the homeowner to return. But when they heard my screams coming from the top floor, they broke the back door and eventually came to my rescue.
I’m told they did a thorough investigation but could not find any of the things I described.
The basement door led into a regular basement. It was filled with old furniture, unused decor, and paint cans. No Mine.
The dumbwaiter was also just a dumbwaiter. It wasn’t some mine shaft, and it didn’t lead any deeper than the basement. Nothing special.
There were definitely hot springs close by, but nothing close enough to damage Mr. Winslow's property. And there was an old, depleted gold mine not far away either, but it was completely abandoned, closed off, and nowhere near as big as the one I had described.
***
The police, paramedics and doctors all thought my story was some hallucination. That I had been on drugs or had some mental breakdown (even though they couldn’t find anything in me other than small traces of weed.)
Thankfully, my mother and aunt believed me. They believed every word. My aunt is the one who encouraged me to make this post, so others could hear my story.
I know it was real.
I know it was.
And Mr. Winslow is fully aware of the mine’s existence.
Putting the dots together, I realized it was likely the source of his wealth. Winslow had some control over that one headless miner down there.
Did Winslow intentionally entrap me? Was he trying to get the miner a new set of eyes? Or was it all an unfortunate accident?
I might never know.
But what I do know is that Mr. Winslow has been paying for our rent ever since the accident.
He feels “terrible about the situation” and “can’t possibly imagine” what I’ve been through.
But he knows what happened.
He knows if I really pushed, If I really forced the police, or some private investigator to look into it—they would uncover something awful. Something really really bad.
“Anything you need. Anything at all. I will cover it, Ida.” He said. “You helped me out, protected my dogs, and I will never forget it.”
He’s offered to pay for the rest of my University schooling. And once my face heals up, he’s even offered to cover for some very expensive, experimental eye-transplant. We’ll see how that goes.
“You and your family will live comfortably from now on. You’ll want for nothing. Tell me exactly what you need, And you’ll get it.”
So I told him I'd like my necklace back. It was an heirloom. I said I lost it somewhere in his house.
A few days later, he returned with the usual smug, half-crooked smirk in his voice. He brought the necklace back in a box, pretending he had bought me a new one. Except it felt exactly like my old one.
It was all shined up, completely buffed of scratches, but it weighed the same. It was my old one for sure.
When my mom saw it she asked, “did it always have it? This dedication?”
As far as I remembered, the backside of the tiny Christ the Redeemer was always plain. I fingered its shape in my hands.
“What dedication?”
The new little divots caught my nails. There was writing that was definitely not there before.
My mom described it as a curly, serif font. Like a gift for a lover.
~ You’re an angel ~
~ W ~

UPDATE:
My husband called to chase biopsy result and they said they are doing further checks which is a little worrying.
He also got results about his ultrasound saying that he has fatty deposits on his liver.
Of course he readying liver rescue and doing as much as we can.
Can anyone advise. My husband has been ill for a while now. It all started with a little spot/lump on his temple. Went to see a cancer specialist and privately a specialist dermatologist and both were not worried. He was still concerned so had biopsy, results not back but again worried.
He stated obsessing it was cancer and has been ever since,been a&e so many times and doctors lots, had ambulance out the lot. I am fit to loose my mind and beyond exhausted with it all. It's not helping my health or my daughters. I am at my wits end.
Doctors say its folicilitus but he had test done on it and it came back clear for viral or bacterial; but they still brushed him off.
He keeps going back but they won't help him or do more tests.
His symptoms now are: Tired all time and weak, losing balance
Spots come out across collarbone, shoulders neck. Some have started to heal, but he gets pain when more come out. Pain in neck and shoulders the other day.
Fun spot/lump under skin on leg and bruise type thing on ankle.
He has been given antibiotics which he was allergic to and then another set which he stopped after tests come back clear.
Any blood tests done are clear.
He is following medical medium protocols, Off no foods Doing morning cleanse, lm, cj, hmds Low to no fat and keep to evenings. Taking supplements.
Meditating mainly joe dispenza. He is also using bio frequency.
He is really struggling mentally and getting dark thoughts and feels very alone.
I am at my wits end trying to help him, I am preparing clean meals and all the mm prep for us all and it's exhausting me.
We need answers soon but don't know where to turn.
I looked into total health screening which is bio resonance, does mm say anything about this.
Can anyone advise.

Anblitonoimz has four or five tongues, four mouths & five or em.
Th's firstsnd mouth urinaes fortso does "Coffee of a lifetime" Hes sputters, slurping up a cup of that good mud. "Splots dreams in thirty of our microwaves".
Ambipzonnzi doesn't cipher. "Let 's get born & roll down the hill, We get born & roll down the hill" His fourth one shoots ,in south-east yardings
"yearlong coffee beans, coffee plant. papa nu guineaa. Honduras. Lofty without a saddle". a third mouth wisses out sorta westishly through heavy phlegm
He twists to explore "Learn to drive, learn to walk. Crawl from town to town Babe. Crawl on all four wheel & kKaww like a Bird" anbipozond's mouth smacks on
"No point in crying over spillt milk"
"You keep saying that!". his northeast mote swirls in southwestard recounts
Eeps
from elswhere "Every auction is just the loudest, Heather". else now mutters a funnel with propose. "houses are birds with fourty wheels on a similar day". Insteebchlo raises his hand with a smile eager to answer the daily question. he starts to wave as he catches the attensions.
Noesteeblichavl has houses for heads, he sstarts jittering. "Your eyes are windows, someone needs to clean your windows. Your house is a head. Clean your windows off annd surprise the neighbors dog!" ... "hello"
"you're not driving to my off-grid parasite with that attitude". Ampliurpoznenzi shuffles his gums ,Crawling down the asphalt road on his hands & knees proudly. He might think he is an entrepreneur for a while or aprehend himselgf as an connoisseur forwhile.
"oh drink gasoline lika subaru" oensteeblih tweeks
"I've an appotite to put my teeth to the curb!" Ambeplerznz snaps & gnashes at houses
his foldy gob norths "One step at a time! Learn to crawl, Learn to walk, Buy some land babe, heyhow does much a hotel cost hahh".
"CAWWW" Apmliurpozoenzi's mouth makes a bird noise. having a bite yer own ear off & spit it at the coroner day.
"I think you will drink gasoline like my aunties subaru" houses heads repeats.
"Bvrruuuummmm" Ampliurpoznenzi's mouth does the car noise now. He's going somewhere, past the speed limit ,another four kilometers & he is gonna need his diaper change. Better get his wallet ready.
"You slurp gasoline, like ants in a subaru" Noesteeblo 'peats. Amblurdozinnzi pops into more civilized bucket. the house curls into a smile now. "look at youu!, you've become such a confident driver now!".
"C'mon, don't be so hard on yourself" Abemlurdozonz mremarks vaclantly. "So I could wear your face? Is it losing it's grisps on reality in here or me?"
Nostlible smeoes to him "Bro you okay?"
.....
"Ye get born into like machine & fall through like pachinko scottlander" . "Offered five things strange for new emergant traditions"
"Third tape recorder to the rotting egg translates the scripture, we're all just pachinko machines rolling down a hill arn't we?"
sorta just sautering around, peaking in through all the windows in the neighborhood, he's a freak tapping on the glass. Abmlorznonza is trying to climb into the garbage disposal, he wants to become ground beef or he wants to arrive to a wedding.
"Hey Do ies Yoeur Reaelity Okaey?". he mutters himself
Abamorbzonenz's large nose covers the porch in snot. He is smashed in through the windows. everything covered in snot. Dissassembles Th' Constructiom. "everything is covered in snot!!" He complains! "I SAID SEASAW. I SAID". Seasaw
...
"Highly Functional we are. Violences with the earthly gravitations ,Maneuvers to gnaw your tongue away at the glory hole ssir". Houses for heads whispers easy to his parole officer
.....
Ablimurzozna is inside the building, meeting all the wacky charicatures, really looking for something to snack on
"snooze on the cheesblock wiyhth a thousant feet of square areah". Zimberly's gonna need to fester up if she's gonna make it out of here alive.
-"come into my villa? withyer 6,000 foot long arms? I'll teach you the mannerisms" she stand combative with a toaster under her arm, holding the plug in her other hand.
The kitchen fatefuly occupied, Ablimzundz rushes square around & through down hallway, he drips the sweat "round nor square corners, I'm deduction points" his bin echoes offa chair in the passing.
... "I'm not just a petting zoo, I'm also a boarding school for chiropractory on the week-ends". Chochizialule snides from a toilet room "I pay money here"
Ambliuoznenzai screams, he begins to shrivel up & become hairy. "lettuce beef union, where did you go? lettuce beef onion. ".
"Let Us ..decode your one dimensoinal braine". presences Noestivbyuchevlo
another charicature interrups "I PLACED THE EYE INSIDE OF TJE HEAD & THE HEAD ON TOP OF THE BODY". Martin chimes over the loudspeaker. feeling like an eyeball inside of the tube today. just like all other days. an irreversible sense of time "I think I'll industrial my furnishments enjoy & pass out" He obviously has the plans.
"Do Not Touch Me". the subaru won't calm down.
"ellen my knuckle jelly is swearing. Juxtapose penguin my knuckle. Whatever fucking. My justice system swears at me."
Garvezetozald nouts at he,
"I can't relax. I'm on chameleon because my eyes move on their own. Indipendently from one anobther. " Amprulpozanzi won't shut up or he wouldn't
Nestavloblica tries to comprehend or understand "Autism is also a bell of god? Hey! Slow Down! Howhy are you aging so rapidly , in this metal bucket over here?"
Ampeliuropoznnz's wheels berate" DONN'T TOUCH MEE. I SAAID DONN'T TOUCHH MEE". He revs it!
"Hold it! Give your skin prison!" Windows for eyes shudders urgently. "Take me to your northern hemisphere! okay? okay?!"
Theres multiples of them
"No you No youKnow what You know you could Use?" they all say in unison
"AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Ambluboznecviblo screams in whemchever direction heis headed ?
windows for nostrils speaks out loud "wel A well balanced curriculum would be dandy for starters".
Garvezetozald escorts ambinzopnonzor back to the pave "aluminum foil, very shiny in your bank deposit you know, But don't listen to me. Why would I fucking say anything ". He grumbles the offput as retreating it back inside.
ambilurbonznenance isnot having it. He's murking off in the anger pavement shoes. "Don't change the subject, I know you're hiding things from me".
Ambilerbeentsli "shiny aluminum foil heaps in my bank deposit". out of a different mouth or head after that whatever it said
.............................
intrusion layering dish. splattered withe batter. "Undetermined. loosely your own imagines, or yourself into they inretrospective periphany? who are you defying here? I did I hear (that right)?"
"I said build your little hhouse outthere, and& record yourf fairy shit, I stabbed you really hard with the fork" sends the not know says "yeah buddy, nascar teeth better be stoppin in to be stoppin tobe takina pittstop stop inn" Heaps he "STOP IT ,STOPP STIP. STOP IN THEs PIT FOR A STOP NOWW"
"are you been taking all oyour supplements skin-jaw pirate attorney?". eyuunNoesteblijhavwl Creoaks to the fiend
Pramblestabhon starts talk about lands all sorts and Louis Vuitton" We drop him off atthe nearest station
Scubs scenfen fenhinit. The cold touch of a stranger.
"Shd diedent mean to sdo that withe her subaru" "make the fuzzy worls ceawl owt but were notbhgoana takklk to you. Beat toyojar head with thea hmmm
The dufuzzys crawl out of the brain spot "COFFEEE AND TORTILLA CHIPS" Ambliubyonzunzi blares. He is crying the tears. "COFFEEE AND TORTILLA CHIPS" A second mouth of he shouts as well joins in.
"eyebrows, eyebrows jaws & toes, heavy finger-slips. uprightnowyou. Our gene pool is speaking~ (????) & having remained focused on the road this whole time"
...
"ofcourse We want gimberly to fall asleep at the wheel, make it look like it was an accident" Ampliunornzi agrees with himself "We want this we want that we want nothing more for ourselves" He's done & settled but restless & jiving. He keeps on driving, he worrys somedaybody will cut his brakes for him.
"No I think You betetetetter get onto bed on time " Noestelevblilpo bleyowabs abashed "sleep onfor more decades?, crawl on this earth, listen to the musics of the centuries?" nietstravlo attemptates their reconciel
Ampliupzinzunzi agleams unto the sedatiea. relloxed . enloungicated Dormitoitory. Parked something or other an a benchpt he rwests "If we don't chop uff all of the limbs then don'T throW uP on TimE." it complains. something seperate &.. he produces a small thermos from his (cupholder)
Ambliornuunzi Takes another sip of this coffee. He rolls the liquid around his tongue & swishes it in his mouth before hes swellow. "Brazil, Ecuador" He feels the longitude, He feeles the latitude, the coordinates of the bean. "South america, central america, yeah, You can taste it". The bitter wash is guzzled before it's swallowe. Amiburzobowenzanzha Licks it's teeth and gums. Functional piss distillery. With gusto he announce "Brazil, we need go to Brrazziill eyah". starts he runningh & He trips & smashes one of his mouths into the curb, If had he a tongue from there off bitten would it have been but lucky him, only smashing his teeth to scream & writhe.

It was a dark, starless night. We were becalmed in the Northern Pacific. Our exact position I do not know; for the sun had been hidden during the course of a weary, breathless week, by a thin haze which had seemed to float above us, about the height of our mastheads, at whiles descending and shrouding the surrounding sea. With there being no wind, we had steadied the tiller, and I was the only man on deck. The crew, consisting of two men and a boy, were sleeping forward in their den, while Will—my friend, and the master of our little craft—was aft in his bunk on the port side of the little cabin. Suddenly, from out of the surrounding darkness, there came a hail: “Schooner, ahoy!” The cry was so unexpected that I gave no immediate answer, because of my surprise. It came again—a voice curiously throaty and inhuman, calling from somewhere upon the dark sea away on our port broadside: “Schooner, ahoy!” “Hullo!” I sung out, having gathered my wits somewhat. “What are you? What do you want?” “You need not be afraid,” answered the queer voice, having probably noticed some trace of confusion in my tone. “I am only an old—man.” The pause sounded odd, but it was only afterward that it came back to me with any significance. “Why don’t you come alongside, then?” I queried somewhat snappishly; for I liked not his hinting at my having been a trifle shaken. “I—I—can’t. It wouldn’t be safe. I——” The voice broke off, and there was silence. “What do you mean?” I asked, growing more and more astonished. “What’s not safe? Where are you?” I listened for a moment; but there came no answer. And then, a sudden indefinite suspicion, of I knew not what, coming to me, I stepped swiftly to the binnacle and took out the lighted lamp. At the same time, I knocked on the deck with my heel to waken Will. Then I was back at the side, throwing the yellow funnel of light out into the silent immensity beyond our rail. As I did so, I heard a slight muffled cry, and then the sound of a splash, as though someone had dipped oars abruptly. Yet I cannot say with certainty that I saw anything; save, it seemed to me, that with the first flash of the light there had been something upon the waters, where now there was nothing. “Hullo, there!” I called. “What foolery is this?” But there came only the indistinct sounds of a boat being pulled away into the night. Then I heard Will’s voice from the direction of the after scuttle: “What’s up, George?” “Come here, Will!” I said. “What is it?” he asked, coming across the deck. I told him the queer thing that had happened. He put several questions; then, after a moment’s silence, he raised his hands to his lips and hailed: “Boat, ahoy!” From a long distance away there came back to us a faint reply, and my companion repeated his call. Presently, after a short period of silence, there grew on our hearing the muffled sound of oars, at which Will hailed again. This time there was a reply: “Put away the light.” “I’m damned if I will,” I muttered; but Will told me to do as the voice bade, and I shoved it down under the bulwarks. “Come nearer,” he said, and the oar strokes continued. Then, when apparently some half dozen fathoms distant, they again ceased. “Come alongside!” exclaimed Will. “There’s nothing to be frightened of aboard here.” “Promise that you will not show the light?” “What’s to do with you,” I burst out, “that you’re so infernally afraid of the light?” “Because—” began the voice, and stopped short. “Because what?” I asked quickly. Will put his hand on my shoulder. “Shut up a minute, old man,” he said, in a low voice. “Let me tackle him.” He leaned more over the rail. “See here, mister,” he said, “this is a pretty queer business, you coming upon us like this, right out in the middle of the blessed Pacific. How are we to know what sort of a hanky-panky trick you’re up to? You say there’s only one of you. How are we to know, unless we get a squint at you—eh? What’s your objection to the light, anyway?” As he finished, I heard the noise of the oars again, and then the voice came; but now from a greater distance, and sounding extremely hopeless and pathetic. “I am sorry—sorry! I would not have troubled you, only I am hungry, and—so is she.” The voice died away, and the sound of the oars, dipping irregularly, was borne to us. “Stop!” sang out Will. “I don’t want to drive you away. Come back! We’ll keep the light hidden, if you don’t like it.” He turned to me: “It’s a damned queer rig, this; but I think there’s nothing to be afraid of?” There was a question in his tone, and I replied. “No, I think the poor devil’s been wrecked around here, and gone crazy.” The sound of the oars drew nearer. “Shove that lamp back in the binnacle,” said Will; then he leaned over the rail and listened. I replaced the lamp and came back to his side. The dipping of the oars ceased some dozen yards distant. “Won’t you come alongside now?” asked Will in an even voice. “I have had the lamp put back in the binnacle.” “I—I cannot,” replied the voice. “I dare not come nearer. I dare not even pay you for the— the provisions.” “That’s all right,” said Will, and hesitated. “You’re welcome to as much grub as you can take—” Again he hesitated. “You are very good!” exclaimed the voice. “May God, Who understands everything, reward you—” It broke off huskily. “The—the lady?” said Will abruptly. “Is she—” “I have left her behind upon the island,” came the voice. “What island?” I cut in. “I know not its name,” returned the voice. “I would to God—” it began, and checked itself as suddenly. “Could we not send a boat for her?” asked Will at this point. “No!” said the voice, with extraordinary emphasis. “My God! No!” There was a moment’s pause; then it added, in a tone which seemed a merited reproach: “It was because of our want I ventured—because her agony tortured me.” “I am a forgetful brute!” exclaimed Will. “Just wait a minute, whoever you are, and I will bring you up something at once.” In a couple of minutes he was back again, and his arms were full of various edibles. He paused at the rail. “Can’t you come alongside for them?” he asked. “No—I dare not,” replied the voice, and it seemed to me that in its tones I detected a note of stifled craving—as though the owner hushed a mortal desire. It came to me then in a flash that the poor old creature out there in the darkness was suffering for actual need for that which Will held in his arms; and yet, because of some unintelligible dread, refraining from dashing to the side of our schooner and receiving it. And with the lightning-like conviction there came the knowledge that the Invisible was not mad, but sanely facing some intolerable horror. “Damn it, Will!” I said, full of many feelings, over which predominated a vast sympathy. “Get a box. We must float off the stuff to him in it.” This we did, propelling it away from the vessel, out into the darkness, by means of a boat hook. In a minute a slight cry from the Invisible came to us, and we knew that he had secured the box. A little later he called out a farewell to us, and so heartful a blessing, that I am sure we were the better for it. Then, without more ado, we heard the ply of oars across the darkness. “Pretty soon off,” remarked Will, with perhaps just a little sense of injury. “Wait,” I replied. “I think somehow he’ll come back. He must have been badly needing that food.” “And the lady,” said Will. For a moment he was silent; then he continued: “It’s the queerest thing ever I’ve tumbled across since I’ve been fishing.” “Yes,” I said, and fell to pondering. And so the time slipped away—an hour, another, and still Will stayed with me; for the queer adventure had knocked all desire for sleep out of him. The third hour was three parts through when we heard again the sound of oars across the silent ocean. “Listen!” said Will, a low note of excitement in his voice. “He’s coming, just as I thought,” I muttered. The dipping of the oars grew nearer, and I noted that the strokes were firmer and longer. The food had been needed. They came to a stop a little distance off the broadside, and the queer voice came again to us through the darkness: “Schooner, ahoy!” “That you?” asked Will. “Yes,” replied the voice. “I left you suddenly, but—but there was great need.” “The lady?” questioned Will. “The—lady is grateful now on earth. She will be more grateful soon in—in heaven.” Will began to make some reply, in a puzzled voice; but became confused, and broke off short. I said nothing. I was wondering at the curious pauses, and, apart from my wonder, I was full of a great sympathy. The voice continued: “We—she and I, have talked, as we shared the result of God’s tenderness and yours—” Will interposed; but without coherence. “I beg of you not to—to belittle your deed of Christian charity this night,” said the voice. “Be sure that it has not escaped His notice.” It stopped, and there was a full minute’s silence. Then it came again: “We have spoken together upon that which—which has befallen us. We had thought to go out, without telling anyone of the terror which has come into our—lives. She is with me in believing that tonight’s happenings are under a special ruling, and that it is God’s wish that we should tell to you all that we have suffered since—since—” “Yes?” said Will softly. “Since the sinking of the Albatross.” “Ah!” I exclaimed involuntarily. “She left Newcastle for ’Frisco some six months ago, and hasn’t been heard of since.” “Yes” answered the voice. “But some few degrees to the North of the line, she was caught in a terrible storm, and dismasted. When the day came, it was found that she was leaking badly, and, presently, it falling to a calm, the sailors took to the boats, leaving—leaving a young lady—my fiancée—and myself upon the wreck. “We were below, gathering together a few of our belongings, when they left. They were entirely callous, through fear, and when we came up upon the decks, we saw them only as small shapes afar off upon the horizon. Yet we did not despair, but set to work and constructed a small raft. Upon this we put such few matters as it would hold, including a quantity of water and some ship’s biscuit. Then, the vessel being very deep in the water, we got ourselves onto the raft and pushed off. “It was later, when I observed that we seemed to be in the way of some tide or current, which bore us from the ship at an angle; so that in the course of three hours, by my watch, her hull became invisible to our sight, her broken masts remaining in view for a somewhat longer period. Then, towards evening, it grew misty, and so through the night. The next day we were still encompassed by the mist, the weather remaining quiet. “For four days we drifted through this strange haze, until, on the evening of the fourth day, there grew upon our ears the murmur of breakers at a distance. Gradually it became plainer, and, somewhat after midnight, it appeared to sound upon either hand at no very great space. The raft was raised upon a swell several times, and then we were in smooth water, and the noise of the breakers was behind. “When the morning came, we found that we were in a sort of great lagoon; but of this we noticed little at the time; for close before us, through the enshrouding mist, loomed the hull of a large sailing vessel. With one accord, we fell upon our knees and thanked God, for we thought that here was an end to our perils. We had much to learn. “The raft drew near to the ship, and we shouted on them to take us aboard; but none answered. Presently the raft touched against the side of the vessel, and seeing a rope hanging downward, I seized it and began to climb. Yet I had much ado to make my way up, because of a kind of grey, lichenous fungus that had seized upon the rope, and which blotched the side of the ship lividly. “I reached the rail and clambered over it, onto the deck. Here I saw that the decks were covered, in great patches, with grey masses, some of them rising into nodules several feet in height; but at the time I thought less of this matter than of the possibility of there being people aboard the ship. I shouted; but none answered. Then I went to the door below the poop deck. I opened it, and peered in. There was a great smell of staleness, so that I knew in a moment that nothing living was within, and with the knowledge, I shut the door quickly; for I felt suddenly lonely. “I went back to the side where I had scrambled up. My—my sweetheart was still sitting quietly upon the raft. Seeing me look down, she called up to know whether there were any aboard of the ship. I replied that the vessel had the appearance of having been long deserted, but that if she would wait a little I would see whether there was anything in the shape of a ladder by which she could ascend to the deck. Then we would make a search through the vessel together. A little later, on the opposite side of the decks, I found a rope side ladder. This I carried across, and a minute afterwards she was beside me. “Together we explored the cabins and apartments in the after part of the ship; but nowhere was there any sign of life. Here and there, within the cabins themselves, we came across odd patches of that queer fungus; but this, as my sweetheart said, could be cleansed away. “In the end, having assured ourselves that the after portion of the vessel was empty, we picked our ways to the bows, between the ugly grey nodules of that strange growth; and here we made a further search, which told us that there was indeed none aboard but ourselves. “This being now beyond any doubt, we returned to the stern of the ship and proceeded to make ourselves as comfortable as possible. Together we cleared out and cleaned two of the cabins; and after that I made examination whether there was anything eatable in the ship. This I soon found was so, and thanked God in my heart for His goodness. In addition to this I discovered the whereabouts of the fresh-water pump, and having fixed it, I found the water drinkable, though somewhat unpleasant to the taste. “For several days we stayed aboard the ship, without attempting to get to the shore. We were busily engaged in making the place habitable. Yet even thus early we became aware that our lot was even less to be desired than might have been imagined; for though, as a first step, we scraped away the odd patches of growth that studded the floors and walls of the cabins and saloon, yet they returned almost to their original size within the space of twenty-four hours, which not only discouraged us but gave us a feeling of vague unease. “Still we would nor admit ourselves beaten, so set to work afresh, and not only scraped away the fungus but soaked the places where it had been with carbolic, a can-full of which I had found in the pantry. Yet, by the end of the week the growth had returned in full strength, and, in addition, it had spread to other places, as though our touching it had allowed germs from it to travel elsewhere. “On the seventh morning, my sweetheart woke to find a small patch of it growing on her pillow, close to her face. At that, she came to me, as soon as she could get her garments upon her. I was in the galley at the time lighting the fire for breakfast. “ ‘Come here, John,’ she said, and led me aft. When I saw the thing upon her pillow I shuddered, and then and there we agreed to go right out of the ship and see whether we could not fare to make ourselves more comfortable ashore. “Hurriedly we gathered together our few belongings, and even among these I found that the fungus had been at work, for one of her shawls had a little lump of it growing near one edge. I threw the whole thing over the side without saying anything to her. “The raft was still alongside, but it was too clumsy to guide, and I lowered down a small boat that hung across the stern, and in this we made our way to the shore. Yet, as we drew near to it, I became gradually aware that here the vile fungus, which had driven us from the ship, was growing riot. In places it rose into horrible, fantastic mounds, which seemed almost to quiver, as with a quiet life, when the wind blew across them. Here and there it took on the forms of vast fingers, and in others it just spread out flat and smooth and treacherous. Odd places, it appeared as grotesque stunted trees, seeming extraordinarily kinked and gnarled—the whole quaking vilely at times. “At first, it seemed to us that there was no single portion of the surrounding shore which was not hidden beneath the masses of the hideous lichen; yet, in this, I found we were mistaken; for somewhat later, coasting along the shore at a little distance, we descried a smooth white patch of what appeared to be fine sand, and there we landed. It was not sand. What it was I do not know. All that I have observed is that upon it the fungus will not grow; while everywhere else, save where the sand-like earth wanders oddly, path-wise, amid the grey desolation of the lichen, there is nothing but that loathsome greyness. “It is difficult to make you understand how cheered we were to find one place that was absolutely free from the growth, and here we deposited our belongings. Then we went back to the ship for such things as it seemed to us we should need. Among other matters, I managed to bring ashore with me one of the ship’s sails, with which I constructed two small tents, which, though exceedingly rough-shaped, served the purposes for which they were intended. In these we lived and stored our various necessities, and thus for a matter of some four weeks all went smoothly and without particular unhappiness. Indeed, I may say with much happiness—for—for we were together. “It was on the thumb of her right hand that the growth first showed. It was only a small circular spot, much like a little grey mole. My God! how the fear leaped to my heart when she showed me the place. We cleansed it, between us, washing it with carbolic and water. In the morning of the following day she showed her hand to me again. The grey warty thing had returned. For a little while we looked at one another in silence. Then, still wordless, we started again to remove it. In the midst of the operation she spoke suddenly. “ ‘What’s that on the side of your face, dear?’ Her voice was sharp with anxiety. I put my hand up to feel. “ ‘There! Under the hair by your ear. A little to the front a bit.’ My finger rested upon the place, and then I knew. “ ‘Let us get your thumb done first,’ I said. And she submitted, only because she was afraid to touch me until it was cleansed. I finished washing and disinfecting her thumb, and then she turned to my face. After it was finished we sat together and talked awhile of many things; for there had come into our lives sudden, very terrible thoughts. We were, all at once, afraid of something worse than death. We spoke of loading the boat with provisions and water and making our way out onto the sea; yet we were helpless, for many causes, and—and the growth had attacked us already. We decided to stay. God would do with us what was His will. We would wait. “A month, two months, three months passed and the places grew somewhat, and there had come others. Yet we fought so strenuously with the fear that its headway was but slow, comparatively speaking. “Occasionally we ventured off to the ship for such stores as we needed. There we found that the fungus grew persistently. One of the nodules on the main deck soon became as high as my head. “We had now given up all thought or hope of leaving the island. We had realized that it would be unallowable to go among healthy humans, with the things from which we were suffering. “With this determination and knowledge in our minds we knew that we should have to husband our food and water; for we did not know, at that time, but that we should possibly live for many years. “This reminds me that I have told you that I am an old man. Judged by years this is not so. But—but—” He broke off; then continued somewhat abruptly: “As I was saying, we knew that we should have to use care in the matter of food. But we had no idea then how little food there was left of which to take care. It was a week later that I made the discovery that all the other bread tanks—which I had supposed full—were empty, and that (beyond odd tins of vegetables and meat, and some other matters) we had nothing on which to depend, but the bread in the tank which I had already opened. “After learning this I bestirred myself to do what I could, and set to work at fishing in the lagoon; but with no success. At this I was somewhat inclined to feel desperate until the thought came to me to try outside the lagoon, in the open sea. “Here, at times, I caught odd fish, but so infrequently that they proved of but little help in keeping us from the hunger which threatened. It seemed to me that our deaths were likely to come by hunger, and not by the growth of the thing which had seized upon our bodies. “We were in this state of mind when the fourth month wore out. Then I made a very horrible discovery. One morning, a little before midday, I came off from the ship with a portion of the biscuits which were left. In the mouth of her tent I saw my sweetheart sitting, eating something. “ ‘What is it, my dear?’ I called out as I leaped ashore. Yet, on hearing my voice, she seemed confused, and, turning, slyly threw something toward the edge of the little clearing. It fell short, and a vague suspicion having arisen within me, I walked across and picked it up. It was a piece of the grey fungus. “As I went to her with it in my hand, she turned deadly pale; then a rose red. “I felt strangely dazed and frightened. “ ‘My dear! My dear!’ I said, and could say no more. Yet at my words she broke down and cried bitterly. Gradually, as she calmed, I got from her the news that she had tried it the preceding day, and—and liked it. I got her to promise on her knees not to touch it again, however great our hunger. After she had promised, she told me that the desire for it had come suddenly, and that, until the moment of desire, she had experienced nothing toward it but the most extreme repulsion. “Later in the day, feeling strangely restless and much shaken with the thing which I had discovered, I made my way along one of the twisted paths—formed by the white, sand-like substance—which led among the fungoid growth. I had, once before, ventured along there; but not to any great distance. This time, being involved in perplexing thought, I went much farther than hitherto. “Suddenly I was called to myself by a queer hoarse sound on my left. Turning quickly I saw that there was movement among an extraordinarily shaped mass of fungus, close to my elbow. It was swaying uneasily, as though it possessed life of its own. Abruptly, as I stared, the thought came to me that the thing had a grotesque resemblance to the figure of a distorted human creature. Even as the fancy flashed into my brain, there was a slight, sickening noise of tearing, and I saw that one of the branchlike arms was detaching itself from the surrounding grey masses, and coming toward me. The head of the thing—a shapeless grey ball, inclined in my direction. I stood stupidly, and the vile arm brushed across my face. I gave out a frightened cry, and ran back a few paces. There was a sweetish taste upon my lips where the thing had touched me. I licked them, and was immediately filled with an inhuman desire. I turned and seized a mass of the fungus. Then more, and—more. I was insatiable. In the midst of devouring, the remembrance of the morning’s discovery swept into my mazed brain. It was sent by God. I dashed the fragment I held to the ground. Then, utterly wretched and feeling a dreadful guiltiness, I made my way back to the little encampment. “I think she knew, by some marvelous intuition which love must have given, so soon as she set eyes on me. Her quiet sympathy made it easier for me, and I told her of my sudden weakness, yet omitted to mention the extraordinary thing which had gone before. I desired to spare her all unnecessary terror. “But, for myself, I had added an intolerable knowledge, to breed an incessant terror in my brain; for I doubted not but that I had seen the end of one of these men who had come to the island in the ship in the lagoon; and in that monstrous ending I had seen our own. “Thereafter we kept from the abominable food, though the desire for it had entered into our blood. Yet our drear punishment was upon us; for, day by day, with monstrous rapidity, the fungoid growth took hold of our poor bodies. Nothing we could do would check it materially, and so—and so—we who had been human became—Well, it matters less each day. Only—only we had been man and maid! “And day by day the fight is more dreadful, to withstand the hunger-lust for the terrible lichen. “A week ago we ate the last of the biscuit, and since that time I have caught three fish. I was out here fishing tonight when your schooner drifted upon me out of the mist. I hailed you. You know the rest, and may God, out of His great heart, bless you for your goodness to a—a couple of poor outcast souls.” There was the dip of an oar—another. Then the voice came again, and for the last time, sounding through the slight surrounding mist, ghostly and mournful. “God bless you! Good-bye!” “Good-bye,” we shouted together hoarsely, our hearts full of many emotions. I glanced about me. I became aware that the dawn was upon us. The sun flung a stray beam across the hidden sea; pierced the mist dully, and lit up the receding boat with a gloomy fire. Indistinctly I saw something nodding between the oars. I thought of a sponge—a great, grey nodding sponge— The oars continued to ply. They were grey—as was the boat—and my eyes searched a moment vainly for the conjunction of hand and oar. My gaze flashed back to the—head. It nodded forward as the oars went backward for the stroke. Then the oars were dipped, the boat shot out of the patch of light, and the—the thing went nodding into the mist.

After getting all three endings for AC6 I have been thinking about them a lot lately. I got LoR my first playthrough, getting FoR and AIE on my second and third. My initial impression was the Liberator was the best ending because you free Rubicon from corporate interference (and personally kill Snail), while Fires was more disappointing since you nuke everyone. AIE I found to be the least satisfying narratively but did it for the sake of completion.
But after thinking on it more, I find myself genuinely believing more and more that the Fires ending is the correct choice. I've looked on Reddit and a few other places for any strong counterpoints, but all the objections I can find typically boil down to 'genocide bad'. Which yeah, glad we are in agreement on that front. But I cannot find any well reasoned argument against burning the Coral that go beyond this basic instinct. Everything seems to just be these same knee-jerk emotional reactions saying it is an absolute evil, without addressing the dangers, complexities, ramifications or nuances of allowing the Coral to exist. And while it may be a fool's errand to ask for nuanced discussion from the internet, I find myself casting that die (ba-dum-tsss) regardless.
I would like to start by outlining the situation as I understand it, beginning with Coral and it's properties. Coral is an alien life-form native to Rubicon. It is capable of conducting electrical currents as well as transmitting data through clouds of it. Coral produces massive amounts of energy when burned, far beyond any other substance in the known universe. Coral seeks to congregate together and will actively seek out larger deposits of Coral. As with most forms of energy, it is both highly combustible and lethal to humans in large enough quantities, though exactly how much is nebulous as it can be both smoked as a drug and injected into people through surgery.
Before diseceting the nature of Coral further, I feel the need to discuss the difference between sentience and sapience since most people in general seem to have them confused. People often use the word sentient to mean something is alive, and while that is part of it, sentience merely refers to an organisms ability to sense it's environment. No higher thinking is involved. Sapience, refers to an organisms ability to actually think. For example, plants are sentient but not sapient. They can sense sunlight and will grow towards it, but they are not able to think. Humans are sentient and sapient. We can sense our environment and are intelligent enough to form complex thoughts.
Coral, for the most part, appears to be sentient but not sapient. There are exceptions to this, but these are shown to be exceedingly rare. Ayre and Seria are the only two Coral entities capable of free thought which we know of and are referred to throughout the game as mutations, so clearly this is not the Coral's natural state. The rest of the Coral appears to operate purely on basic instinct. We see this as, Ayre often comments that she can hear the voices of the Coral, but never interprets any communication from other Coral entities to us. She is also incapable of convincing C-Weapons not to attack us even though they run on and are controlled by Coral. Coral is alive, but at most, it seems to be as intelligent as an insect, following basic instincts and operating as a swarm.
I would also like to address the matter of whether or not Ayre is actually on our side or just manipulating 621 as I've seen others claim. It appears to me that she is genuinely well-meaning. What exactly that means to an energy-based alien life-form is up to debate, but at the very least, I think she cared about 621 and genuinely thought it would be in humanity's and the Coral's interest to coexist in a form of symbiosis like she has with 621. Whether or not symbiosis would actually be good for everyone or if she just thinks it will be based on her own limited perspective is another matter. But I do not believe Ayre/Coral is some malicious space cancebrain parasite manipulating us so she can take over humanity. She does seem to value Coral life over human life, but since no human seems that broken up about killing any of the C-Weapns, that seems fair. Even her dying words support this, saying even as she is dying, she still believes in symbiosis between man and Coral.
With all that being said, this is why I believe Coral should be destroyed. It should go without saying that Coral is, if mishandled, incredibly dangerous. Given its vast energy potential, the closest allegate to Coral in our own world would be nuclear material. The key difference being, nuclear material is not capable of infinite self-replication. Coral is. Coral can produce more Coral seemingly from nothing, and without any form of limiter. The speed of this reproduction scales with the density of Coral. So even if it starts out slow, that does not matter. Coral's growth speed is exponential and infinite. This is why a vacuum is an ideal environment for it. There are no other particles to get in its way, so it can achieve higher density than in the atmosphere. Unconstrained, Coral would spread throughout the entire universe forever, only stopping when, inevitably, something would ignite it, either intentionally or accidentally. At which point, the damage it would cause would be incalculable. Infinite potential means infinite danger. (And while yes, this also means there is the potential for infinite benefit, I do not find this to be a compelling argument for reasons I will get into below.)
The FoR ending is the only one that seems to acknowledge this fact and attempt to address it. Burn the Coral before it can spread. Another burn is inevitable, so better to rip the bandaid off fast and do it now to keep the damage as minimal as possible. Meanwhile, the LoR ending, has no answer. It asks you to trust in the naive hope that we will figure something out eventually, essentially just kicking the cam down the line. Ayre has no guarantee about anything. She just naively assumes everything will work out without offering any tangible solutions or alternatives.
I would like to say, in the interest of fairness, that I do have a more optimistic view than most I've seen of Rubicon's immediate future follow LoR. Rusty may or may not be alive, but 621 and Ayre are. The RLF will be able to bster themselves with whatever technology they can scavenge from the corporations/PCA following their victory. We have also seen that Ayre is able to take control of the planetary defenses and can pilot AC's and C-Weapons quite capably. The corporations would inevitably come back, or new ones would come, but the RLF will likely be in a stronger position than ever before, with a good chance of fighting them off.
I have seen it argued that FoR was pointless because Coral will eventually come back because it did after the Fires of Ibis. However, the Fires of Ibis was done without much preparation ahead of time. It was done by Dr Nagai out of desperation in the spur of the moment, and this is why Coral was able to survive underground. FoR is different. The vascular plant was made to gather all of the Coral on Rubicon, from the air, underground, underwater, frozen, etc. But even if it missed some, burning it now would still be the right choice, as would burning it once more in the future when it resurfaced. Saying it will eventually come back so there is no point, or that it will get out eventually, is a defeatist argument. Just because something bad will happen in the future, does not mean we should not try to prevent and/or postpone it now. That would be like getting sick and refusing treatment because you will die someday, so there is no point.
Even if Coral is somehow never ignited on a galactic scale, it is still incredibly lethal. Coral is capable of melting our AC's after all. If released, the overwhelming majority of people would die upon being exposed to it, as would likely most plants and animals.
There is one other aspect to the LoR ending I have not seen discussed anywhere else. Namely, that an object the size of the Xylem falling from orbit and landing on the planets surface would be an apocalyptic event in its own right. Just as many people would likely die as a result as in the FoR. I very much doubt this was Fromsoft's intention with the ending, but it is there nonetheless. And reads as a rather poignant commentary on the dangers of blind optimism in the face of obvious, looming danger. And while I know Ayre says they Xylem will crash safely into the ocean and not harm anyone, that is just flat out wrong. Sure the initial impact would not hurt anyone (probably) but the resulting affect on Rubicon's weather systems caused by such an event would more than likely lead to mass extinction anyway.
It bears mentioning that all the characters who know about Coral Release, and who quite frankly have a much better understanding about Coral and it's properties than any of us, are all deadset against it. Walter, Carla, Dr. Nagai, Dolmyan, and O'Keefe go to extreme lengths to prevent Coral from spreading. The only two characters in favor of release are Ayre, who is rather biased on the subject, and Allmind, who wants to use Coral Release to assimilate all human life and bring it under her complete control.
In the thematic context of AC6's story, Coral represents raw, untapped potential. Characters routinely talk about Coral's potential or the potential future it can bring about. Even Ayre herself refers to Symbiosis using the term 'humanity and Coral's potential'.
No one knows exactly what will happen after Coral Release. It is impossible to know for certain since it has never happened before, but we can make inferences based on what we do know. Coral Release might be the best thing to ever happen. Or it might just be pretty good. Or it may be good for some but bad for others. Or maybe it will be all bad for everyone everywhere forever. Potential on its own is neither good nor bad. Coral has the potential for both. LoR and AIE ask us to bet humanity, the galaxy maybe even the whole universe on the hope that it turns out well without giving us any reason to believe it will. But what if it doesn't?
It is possible Coral Release would be universally good with no downsides for anyone, or even just good enough to outweigh the negatives but just because something is possible, does not mean it is likely to happen. We don't know if Coral Release would ultimately be good or bad, but based on what we do know, we know what is more likely.
I think the greatest tragedy in all this is that the Coral is still a victim in all of this. Coral did not choose to be the most dangerous thing to ever exist. But that does not change the fact that Coral is the most dangerous thing to ever exist.
I did not mean for it to happen, but this really turned into a manifesto, didn't it. 😅 I don't expect anyone will read all of this, but if you did, I genuinely thank you for lending me your eyeballs. Your time is valuable, so it means something that you would spend it reading all this.

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I think it’s obvious that, while I’ve never lied to my dad and my brother about something big before, I haven’t told either of them about the animals at the zoo and I’m not planning on it. Even if they believed me, that would actually be worse than thinking I was being foolish by working here. If my dad knew what kind of animals the zoo had, he’d freak out, whether or not there were invisible walls to protect me. In and of itself, my father would demand I quit on the spot if he found out about my hourly rate because it was obvious that there was something about this job that warranted it.
So, I opened a savings account at the bank, and when I deposited the check, I put half in that account. That lowered the chances of my dad finding out how much money I was pulling in.
It wasn’t as if I had anything huge to spend the money on anyway, though. Dad had been thrilled with $25/hr. when I got the job, and we’d already started spending some of that first paycheck on new clothes and little house repairs and such. Money has always been tight, and we live in a three-bedroom house, with my dad graciously having taken the smallest room (which was kind of a catchall storage room up until then) once my brother and I wanted separate rooms when we hit our teenage years.
My mom isn’t in the picture, if you’re curious. She worked as a wildlife photographer, and was so good at it that she’d get paid to go off to remote places in Africa. For months at a time. As if we don’t have animals in America, right? But even when she was here, it always felt like she was distracted, wanting to go back to work. Like she cared more about the animals than about us. Say what you want about me, but I like animals more than people, I don’t love them more. I don’t even think of her as mom anymore; in my brain, she’s Patricia.
When I was nine and my brother Stanley was two, she basically left and never came back. Doesn’t even send postcards. For all I know, she’s dead, and the most meaningful thing I ever got from her was my passion for caring about other animals. I got into it early because of Patricia, and then practically every birthday or Christmas present was some book or movie or toy about wildlife. But that’s all she did for us besides financial support. My dad is a real rock in my life, and I count myself lucky I got at least one good parent.
When Patricia ditched us, I started to help out financially when I was younger by working odd jobs, and then real jobs when I hit sixteen. Stanley is sixteen now, and he’s been working at Hanks Hardware for a few months, which meant now it was all three of us pulling in money. But Stanley only makes $10/hr., working four hours after school and then eight hours on Saturday, so my $25/hr. literally doubled our household income. When I’d gotten the job, I told Dad and Stanley that I wanted Stanley to quit his job, and that I’d give him an allowance, $80 a week, which was what he'd be using for pocket money if he’d still been working.
Getting that time back would be huge for Stanley, because it would let him spend more time on his schoolwork. Not just to bring up his grades; he would literally be learning more. And he’s a junior now, doing things like taking a computer class to learn Microsoft Office. Living in a small town limits your options, and knowledge broadens them. I know that much for sure.
Not to mention, he could actually be a teenager, do the stuff kids did. Go see a movie, hang out with his friends at the bleachers and smoke pot, and head out to the lake to swim when the weather warmed up and have a genuinely fun summer instead of having a forty hour work week. And most important, playing video games. I know that sounds strange, but Stanley loves video games and plays online on the TV in the living room. But he hardly ever has time to play, which means sometimes he’ll stay up too late enjoying himself and fall asleep the next day during his first period class. Dad and I never have the heart to tell him to go to bed, though.
My father was uneasy about Stanley quitting, mostly because of the hypothetical of my job falling through. And Dad didn’t even know about the possibility of there being some terrifying incident with an animal, which might cause me such anxiety that I wouldn’t be able to push past it and would end up needing to quit. I really didn’t think that was likely after I’d managed to mostly get over my paralyzing fear of Yui, but I yielded to his logic and we negotiated. Stanley decided to switch to three hours three days a week and four hours on Saturdays.
Little did they know that not only was I was saving up for my own impending student loan payments, but my savings account would cover a most or maybe all of the cost of any college or trade school Stanley wanted to attend when he graduated. I was so happy about that, I don’t have the words. Half of my income is $25/hr. and for eight hours a day will be $52k a year, all of it put in my savings account. Before taxes, but still, that is fantastic money. I’ll have to come clean eventually, when Stanley started filling out FAFSA forms next year, and I’ll probably tell my dad that I was pretty sure they’re running drugs out of the back of the zoo or something. He’ll be so pissed, but that’s over a year away and I’ll burn that bridge when I came to it.
So, in general, I’ve been enjoying working at the zoo and depositing those paychecks. Call me a cynic, but inevitably, that meant something had to go wrong.
After settling in for my shift a few minutes before 9 p.m., Andrew bid me farewell and headed home. He’d just done one last walk of the zoo, so I took out a book and resumed where I’d left off, planning to do a sweep in an hour. I do have some enrichment planned for one of the animals, but I’d had to order something online and it won’t arrive for a few days.
Shortly after my second ramble around on my route to check every enclosure at the zoo, however, I got a text from my brother.

Gary and Shaun are going to the zoo. They want to try to see the animals.

I closed my eyes in annoyance. Gary and Shaun were two sort-of friends of Stanley’s, the middling kind of friend that you sit with at lunch and hang out with at parties but you’ve never actually been to their home. I knew Stanley had been bragging to his friends about my new job. Well, I guessed. He’d told me and Dad at the dinner table that his friends were impressed with my job, and I figured the fact that his sister had a college degree and had started work at $25/hr. was bragging material, especially when it meant Stanley could work fewer hours.
The idea that some of his friends would want to come check out the zoo hadn’t occurred to me, because I’d come at it logically: The zoo was closed to outsiders. Appointment only. And none of them would ever get an appointment, because they were human. But if anything, the rules that restricted them had probably made it a more enticing idea. Also, Stanley said it the zoo on Google Maps at this point, but that it was blurred out. Andrew told me that had been by request (anyone can do it actually), but I’m sure that made the temptation even worse.
Obviously I wasn’t going to let them in, but I didn’t want them to cause trouble, and they were teenagers. Teenagers tend to cause trouble as a general rule. The last thing I wanted was to have to tell Andrew that they’d shown up at the gate intent on visiting the zoo because my brother had talked it up so much. Not that Stanley knew what this place really housed, but still, Andrew had been so stern on no photography of Leila that I would’ve been embarrassed if I had to call the cops because of something like this.
My reply was curt.

Tell those dipshits the place is closed to walk-ins. I’m not letting them in.
I did. They want to go anyway.

I facepalmed and sighed before replying.

If you can’t talk them out of it, just don’t go with them. I’ll deal with it.

There was a long silence, then some ellipses as he typed, then another long silence. I got antsy and sent a follow-up.

Stanley, I mean it. I do not want you here if I have to call the cops to get them to leave. Stay home. If you show up here with them, I’m cutting off the money I give you.

I wasn’t the type to play fast and loose with threats about money, so that probably surprised him. There was the briefest of pauses.

Geez, no need to be a bitch about it. Fine. I’ll stay here. Good luck dealing with those assholes without me.

That was indeed exactly what I wanted, and he must have known that. Hell, I had pepper spray and a taser, so it’s not like I couldn’t keep them out if I really wanted to. But when it came down to it, I figured, what were they going to do? I wasn’t going to open the door or the front gate. The fence was ten feet high, the kind with spaced bars that had decorative spikes at the top, and it was brand new. It wasn’t as if they were going to take bolt-cutters to a barbed wire fence like in a movie.
In the end, I sat back in my chair and just fell back on my regular routine. I wonder now, if I’d called Andrew and told him, maybe asked him to come hang out for a while, whether things would’ve turned out different. But I wasn’t very well going to wake him up for something that essentially sounded like a minor irritation.
At 10:41 p.m., a beep, beep, beep, alert sounded, and I know the exact time because I picked my phone up off the desk out of habit, assuming it was what was making the noise. But it wasn’t. Looking up to the screen of cameras, one was outlined in red, pulling my focus to it. It was an exterior camera with a wide view that panned back and forth, but was now stopped on movement that it had detected and had deemed sufficient to audibly alert me. I later learned that it was in conjunction with a motion detector on the fence. On the screen, I saw two boys, one on the outside of the fence to the left of the entrance gate and one on the inside.
“What the fuck?” I breathed, standing up and putting my book aside. My fingers went to the mouse and keyboard, and I expanded the view from the camera and zoomed in. It seemed I’d underestimated the boredom and curiosity of two small-town teenage boys.
I saw how the first boy had gotten in when the second boy used the same technique, which was to climb a rope that had knots tied in it about a foot apart, a rope that had been hooked onto one of the spikes at the top, presumably with a loop that had been lassoed and tightened. He made it to the top, shifted and dropped to hang from the top by his hands, then let himself fall to the ground, his knees bending and absorbing the shock of the impact before falling on his butt.
One of the boys had hit a growth spurt, topping out at 5’11” now, all gangly limbs. He had short brown hair and I could see him wearing a sweatshirt with the logo of his school on it. That’s the best outfit to wear when breaking in, apparently: something that shows what high school you go to. The other one was a little more built and half a foot shorter, with long blonde hair that he probably thought made him look like Chris Hemsworth. It didn’t.
“I cannot believe this,” I growled, my anger flaring. Heading quickly out of the office, slamming the door behind me, I was out the door and walking toward the entrance, driven by my anger.
Already walking into the park at a speed driven by their interest in the forbidden areas, they started on the path that went toward enclosure one and rounded the zoo. “Hey!” I barked.
“Ripley!” Gary exclaimed. “Your brother said you wouldn’t open the gate, so we let ourselves in.”
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I asked, keeping pace beside them, rage bubbling up inside me. They slowed but didn’t stop. “Do you think this is a joke? There’s a reason I told my brother not to come with you. That alarm you set off goes to the owner of the park, and they’ll definitely be pressing charges. You really want ‘breaking and entering’ on your rap sheet?”
They gave me long-suffering looks, the kind only someone under twenty is capable of. The kind that imply you’re neurotic, or pushy, or self-centered. The kind that say you don’t know what you’re talking about, that they know so much more than you, and that all you are is an annoyance.
“Come on. What is with this place? It sounds awesome, some private zoo, but Stanley didn’t know anything about it,” Shaun told me. Glancing at my belt, where my pepper spray and taser were, he asked, “Is it that top secret? Everything here could sell on the black market for a million bucks or something?”
“They’re expensive animals if poachers get their hands on them, yes,” I said tightly.
“Why would they hire someone fresh out of college for that?” Gary asked, his eyes continuing to take in his surroundings, the path and everything in sight bathed in their standard eerie red glow. “And what’s with the lights?”
“It’s for night vision,” I told him, skipping over the part implying I wasn’t qualified for this job. “Hey, stop.” Moving in front of them, I forced the issue, moving to stand in front of them and forcing them to either stumble to a stop or run into me. “If you climb back over the fence and leave now, before anyone gets here, I’ll lie and say I didn’t know your faces.”
“Jesus Christ, you’re uptight,” Shaun chuckled. “What’s the big deal? I mean, we might not even see anything, since it’s nighttime and the animals are sleeping. It’s not like we’re stealing a tour.”
Honestly, I have no idea how our species has survived this long when our formative years make us so confidently stupid. “So, why are you even here then?” I asked, folding my arms.
“Why not?” Gary asked.
With that, they were quickly walking around me, toward enclosure one. I hadn’t yet seen the animal in enclosure one, but what I did know was I didn’t want to see it for the first time tonight. Roger’s short and snappy description described it as Bear - Steve. According to procedure in the small manual Andrew had given me, I was supposed to deter any intruders with fact that they were on camera and threaten to call the police. It didn’t say what to do if that didn’t work, but I assume I was supposed to…call the police. And also call Andrew, of course. That didn’t solve my urgent problem though, which was two teenagers who wanted to see something cool.
“That’s it,” I growled, taking my taser in one hand and my pepper spray in the other, hoping the sight of me being armed would deter them. Heading after them, I snapped, “If you guys do not leave, I will make you leave.”
Shaun turned and walked backwards so he could speak to me. “Just because you’ve got a complex since they hired you to look after a place like this, doesn’t mean you have any real authority,” he told me. “Look, call the cops if you want. Tell them some teenagers broke in. Response time around here is probably fifteen minutes, so we’ve got ten minutes, minimum. We just want to see something cool, and then we’ll leave.”
I hate that he called my bluff on the weapons, especially in hindsight. I’m not a confrontational person, and my instincts are always to avoid a fight if possible. So, in this case, my instincts were telling me to call in someone else to help get these clowns out of the zoo, not to use the weapons I had for just such a purpose. It makes me feel helpless and angry knowing that I back down from fights, but I balked at the idea of getting physical with them. Only the fact that that wasn’t supposed to be part of my job kept me from feeling like a complete failure as security.
“The animals here are not puppies,” I finally exclaimed. “Some of them are territorial. They could seriously hurt you.”
They finally slowed their pace as they closed in on the gate to the wooden fence. “What are you talking about, territorial? They’re zoo animals,” Gary said.
“This is a huge zoo, and it’s more like a preserve,” I sighed. “It backs up into the forest. These animals build their homes here, scent mark the boundaries, and regularly eat small animals that come in through the bars of the fence to explore. So, like I said. These. Are not. Puppies.”
The two of them finally came to a stop at the gate, looking at me warily. “With this fence, how dangerous could they be?” Gary asked. I didn’t answer. Shaun scanned the expanse behind the gate and Gary looked around, making it clear what he was looking for when he said, “Where are all the signs and shit?”
“There’s a tour guide,” I said. “They don’t need signs.”
“Okay, so, what’s in here?”
Shaking my head, I let out a sigh. “It’s time to leave. I’m serious.”
Gary glared at me for a beat and then said the worst word possible. “Whatever.” Then he turned and unlatched the gate, walking through.
“Gary!” I shouted, stopping short at the threshold. Shaun walked past me, and I made a grab for him, but was too slow. I’ll regret that until the day I die.
Halted at the gate like there was an invisible force field keeping me out in just as it kept the animals in, I officially started panicking. I’d messed up, and now I couldn’t even hit them with either the pepper spray or the taser unless I wanted them to be easy prey.
My eyes scanned the smaller plants along the fence, which slowly grew in average height the closer you got to the tree line. The trees were surprisingly close to the fence, only a few yards in. Also, there were no footprints, no path that only grew small weeds from an animal that often paced back and forth, so I wasn’t sure how often it came out of the trees. Maybe it didn’t.
I wondered if there was another lake, maybe a small pond, that I didn’t know about further in, if the animal lived there. Or maybe this one was relatively reclusive, so I might have time to get the boys out. It could be that it had heard the ruckus of voices and decided to investigate, as it did during tours, but it would take a while to get here. Or I could get lucky and whatever it was could have just had a great meal, deciding to pass up the humans within its grasp.
But I was not lucky.
Putting my pepper spray and taser back in their holsters, I took a couple steps back as I pulled out my cell phone and called 911.
There was a brief pause before I heard someone pick up, and a calm female voice spoke, “911, what is your emergency?”
“Yes, I work at a private zoo, address 11842 Lincoln Road,” I spoke, drawing the shocked gazes of both boys. “Two teenage boys broke in, and they’re refusing to leave the property.”
“For real, Ripley?” Gary exclaimed, as if genuinely offended at my actions.
That’s when all hell broke loose.
Gary was standing near enough to the tall trees that he was under the branches, and something dropped on him, its weight crushing him to the ground. He didn’t even have time to scream. Shaun did, though, crying, “What the fuck?” as he stumbled backwards.
“Get out of there!” I screamed, grabbing my taser from its holster and pointing it at the animal.
On top of Gary’s body was something that looked like a koala. The only thing was, it must have been almost twice as big and had an orange, spotted pattern on its fur. The kicker was the teeth. Koalas eat eucalyptus leaves, most people know, so they don’t have much use for many teeth or even sharp teeth. They’re equipped with a pretty pathetic set of chompers.
Whatever this was, I knew it had a full set of teeth made for a meat-eater, because it had bitten down on Gary’s neck and ripped out a chunk of flesh, arterial blood spraying from the wound.
Shaun, unfortunately, did not take the opportunity to run. He stared at his downed friend, just as I did, in horrified fear. And then ran to him. “Gary!” he screamed. “Hey, get the fuck off him!”
“Shaun, don’t!” I shouted.
Whatever Shaun was thinking, it was less about the potential of him being attacked versus the fact of his friend being attacked right at that moment. I’ll say that about him at least: he didn’t just leave his friend to die. Unfortunately, if he had, it might’ve saved him. Throwing himself at the animal, Shaun shoved it off, an impressive show of strength, before grabbing Gary by the arm and trying to pull him to his feet. “Come on!”
I could see that Gary was barely conscious, though. A gash in an artery that was profusely bleeding will do that to a person. I attempted to aim my taser at the animal, but only a split-second passed before it turned and leapt once more, slamming into Shaun and biting his neck. I stumbled back in fear, adrenaline now pumping through me in earnest, as Shaun cried out in terror and fell to the ground before the animal ripped out his throat.
My vision swam at the sight of a copious amount of blood and the sound of Shaun choking on it. Thick chewing sounds came from the animal before it swallowed and then turned to me.
I only realized I’d dropped my cell phone when I heard a faint, panicked voice ask, “Ma’am? Ma’am, are you there?”
Lowering the taser, I slowly took a couple steps forward, picked up the phone, and I quietly said, “Yeah. I’m here.”
It felt like she was speaking from the other end of a long tunnel when I heard, “I’m sending police and EMT right now. What happened? Was someone injured?”
Swallowing hard, I grimaced as tears came to my eyes. Staring at the animal, which was still meeting my gaze unwaveringly, I simply answered, “Yeah. They’re dead.” At that point, the animal grabbed one of the boys by the throat, then the other, and started dragging them into the trees.
She hesitated before asking some more questions, and I replied to them all absently. Eventually, the animal was gone from my sight, but I still walked backwards as I retraced my steps to the security office, exactly like the first time I’d seen Yui. Eventually I arrived at the security room, and my shaky hand swiped the key card to get in. Shutting the door, I told the 911 operator, “I’m safe.”
“Good. The police should be there in ten minutes.”
My brain thought it was funny that it turned out the boys had been right about the timing, but filed it under ‘things to think about later’. “Okay. I have to call my boss.”
“Just stay on the line with me until the police arrive, okay?”
“It’s okay. I’m fine,” I said quietly. “I just really need to call my boss.”
In spite of her protests, I hung up. The silence of the room rang in my ears and I slowly sat down in my chair, pulling up Andrew’s number.
After four rings, he picked up, his voice drowsy but tense, knowing I’d only call if something had happened. “Ripley? What’s wrong?”
It took me a moment to find my voice. “Two teenagers broke in. They’re dead. Steve killed them.”
“Oh, fuck,” he breathed. After a few beats, he said, “Okay, all right, I’ll, ah, I’ll be there as soon as I can. Did you call the police already?”
“I was on the phone before it even happened, saying they broke in.” I grimaced at that. I was supposed to call my boss first, not the police. That let him determine what actions to take.
Andrew let out a breath. “Okay. I’m assuming Steve took the bodies?”
“Yeah.”
“All right, I’ll call Suzanne and have her put Steve down for a nap, and then get the bodies back to where the EMTs can get them.”
That confused me, and I didn’t really know what to say, so I went with, “I’m sorry, Andrew. I should’ve tried harder to get them to leave. Even tasing and pepper spraying them would’ve-”
“Ripley, this is not your fault,” he said firmly. “I’ll be there soon as I can, all right?”
We ended the conversation and I glanced at the screen of cameras, which was how I’d left it, focused on that section of the fence where the boys had climbed in, with the view enlarged to take up most of the screen. I stared at it until the police arrived.
When the motorcade of flashing lights were visible at the end of the road through one of the cameras, I pressed the button to open the front gate. Fielding the police officers and the EMTs and their questions, I brought them to the enclosure, and right at the edge of the tree line were the two bodies, looking exactly as I’d last seen them. So, I guess Suzanne knows how to run her zoo and handle things when the worst happens.
Both boys were put into body bags and lifted onto gurneys, and then each one was put into one of the two waiting ambulances. Andrew arrived before too long and answered all the questions the police had for him, the ones I didn’t know how to answer. Also the questions that I didn’t really feel comfortable answering, like, “What species of bear is it exactly? And why is there just this flimsy fence here?” I watched from a distance as they took his statement and, I determined by watching their facial expressions, Andrew seemed to answer their questions to their satisfaction.
The long, exhausting experience ended when the last of them left, and Andrew and I went back to the main building, going to his office. Instead of sitting in his desk chair, my boss vied for the couch that sat against one wall, used occasionally by visitors. I sat at the other end, leaning back heavily into the cushions.
Andrew spoke first, echoing his earlier sentiments and immediately making it clear that what occurred wasn’t my fault. I felt some anger at myself, mostly because I knew that if I’d used one of my weapons on one of them, they’d still be alive. But I hadn’t wanted to go to such extremes just because they’d climbed over a fence. They were dumb teenagers, right? I’ve never been tased or pepper sprayed, but I’d seen videos on YouTube and it didn’t look like a fun time.
“Look, you said it that first day in your interview, that people are stupid,” he told me. “Teenagers especially. You know that’s a fact. You did the best you could in that moment, so don’t look back and think of what you could’ve done to fix things, because solutions always seem obvious in hindsight. All right?”
“Yeah,” I muttered.
Andrew sent me home at that point, saying he’d take the rest of the shift. I was too weary to object, so I left.
Stanley was still sleeping safely in his bed, and that’s one thing I’m so grateful for. If this job took my brother from me, I’d be done with it. Still, I don’t relish waking up tomorrow and having to face him. I don’t know exactly how he’s going to react to the news, but it’s going to be the worst thing in the world that’s happened to him, mostly because of the guilt of not being able to talk them out of going. The same way I couldn’t talk them out of staying out of an enclosure.
My schedule is still nocturnal, so I’m not tired enough to sleep right now. Hopefully I’ll get sleepy soon. For now, I’ll play one of Stanley’s mindless old school video games with the sound muted. My main goal is to get the image of all that blood out of my head.
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storiesbykaren

Warning this will be a long post, it has everything I've learnt in the past couple of years from hair growth, to styling, to weightloss, to nervous system regulation and more.
I'm in my early 30s, I have 3B hair, tall, two years ago I was obese, prediabetic, I had anxiety problems, now I'm just a tall [seemingly ;) ] effortlessly pretty black girl and I want all my beauties on here to have my beauty secrets.
Topics discussed:

Haircare
Style
Makeup
Teeth
Skincare
Weight loss vs Fat loss
Healthy Fat loss
Body Recomposition
Inflammation
Gut Health
How to lower androgen/testosterone levels
Nervous System Regulation/Stress Management
Tea Cycling
Seed Cycling

Hair

I have PCOS so it affects my hair growth and causes hirsutism, basically male patterened facial hair and male patterned baldness.
Hair Growth: Here is the true secret sauce to hair growth, stimulating your scalp. I do daily scalp massages with a bamboo brush (even the bristles are made of rounded bamboo) very gentle. This is the one I use: Golab Beauty I do short strokes which prevents any tangles. Morning and Night. I then go in with a scalp serum, I use The Oui scalp serum but it costs a pretty penny. In the first yearish I used (The 'Ordinary' Haircare Growth Set Multi-Peptide Serum For Hair Density) which worked wonders and was cost effective. At nights I seal with any scalp oil that has rosemary oil. Sadly Mielle's formula no longer works for me, but As I Am rosemary oil has been working, I also like the Camille Rose Rosemary Oil Strengthening Hair and Scalp Drops. For Washing my hair I suffer from sebaceous dermatitis which causes scaliness. Paradoxically my scalp is so oily which is what triggers the ezcema and develops the dry patches. Reversing my PCOS symptoms fixed this but what also helped was the Nizoral shampoo with 1% Ketoconazole. It's harsh so I do it once to twice a month at most and I always follow up with a moisturizing shampoo, and of course finish with a wash out conditioner & leave in conditioner.
Hair Retention: This is the info we all know about preventing breakage but I'll include just in case. Hair growth happens in the scalp like said before but to retain that growth it's important to wear protective hairstyles (especially while asleep), a silk/satin bonnet or wrap, silk/satin pillowcase, do not let your hair air dry at night. There is debate about this but I've seen hair specialists and scientists say our hair is especially fragile when wet (especially curly/kinky hair). Therefore, we are much more prone to snags and breakage while our hair is wet. So going to bed make sure your hair is dried. If you're air drying your hair during the day try not to touch it too much - as little manipulation as possible. Personally choose to diffuse/blow dry my hair and this has prevented most of the breakage I was previously experiencing. Lastly, moisturize and oil your ends. I won't pretend like I know which order is best or even if it's important but I've found that using hair moisturizediluted leave in conditioner then hair oil works best for me.
Hirsutism/Facial Hair: Spearmint essential oil. I add 1-2 drops of the oil to my moisturizer each time I put on my moisturizer and it helped A LOT with reducing my facial hair. I also drink a lot of spearmint tea. Spearmint specifically has been proven to lower androgen/testosterone levels which is why it helps. I also took supplements which I'll include at the end because they served multiple purposes. Be sure not to add the oil to the entire bottle because that will ruin your moisturizer's formula. Just add the drops in your palm/finger tips and mix in your face cream each time you moisturize your jawline, chin, underneck. Also, do this after moisturizing the upper part of your face without the oil because it's harsh and the scent can be irritating to your eye area.
Body hair: Personally I sugar wax my arms and legs, the hair has grown back so thin now. I make it myself and follow tutorials from abetweene on youtube.
Hair colouHairstyle: This will depend on your face shape and color season. I'm a dark winter colour season and I have a heart face shape. I used the Dressika app to discover my color season before I could afford to get myself professionally assessed and I got the same results. Just be sure to use natural lighting, like by a window. Once you have your colour season you can choose hair colours that work best for you (although natural almost always works best). For my hairstyle I try to choose styles that compliment my heart shaped face. I used the youtube channel Dear Peachie to help me with figuring this out.

Style

I think most of us know about Kibbe and colour seasons. This was how I upgraded my wardrobe. I'm a soft dramatic so I wear things that work for my tall height and accentuate my waist.
This was the game changer with colour seasons. Most of us know about our true seasons, but it can get restrictive. Sister seasons and colour dissonance is also helpful to know.
My colour season is dark winter, so my sister seasons would be dark autumn and true winter. Thid gives me more wiggle room to style myself.
Dissonance are colours that are outside your true season and your sister seasons, you sprinke this in to add interest. Think of an outfit that is extremely matchy and cohesive but has that one accessory or item that stands out and adds interest. It's really fun in art and in fashion.
For my shoes I've started wearing dancing heels which help my flat feet lol and look stylish. Heel insoles help too, as well as the product Shoe Gummi. I still can't last more than 2, 3 hours at most but it's definitely bearable compared to before.
Matching pajamas and loungewear. You just feel so luxurious dressing up at home and they can (should) be comfy :)
Accessories:

I wear glasses that work with my heart shaped face.
I have a neutral leaning warm undertone so I wear gold jewelry, if I wear pearls or other gem stones I mix in gold to provide more harmony with my skin.
Perfume, wear what works with your body chemistry. Some smell delictable on people I know and icky on me, and vice versa. Wear what works for you.
Nails, press ons. So convenient, so cheap.
Hair accessories, bows, barretes, clips, scrunchies, a ribbon, you could be wearing jeans and a t shirt but a simple hair accessory upgrades the look automatically.

Makeup

I used the youtube channel Dear Peachie to help me with finding eye looks, brows, blush placement for my face shape
I have a low visual weight face and I am a romantic ingenue, because of this I go for more subtle looks that emphasis two facial features maximum at a time (eyes, lips, cheeks).
Don't get me wrong I love glam bold makeup but soft and subtle makes me glow, I turn heads when my makeup is done like this.

Teeth

Wax free floss (Cocofloss $10 expensive but I love it 😅, Burst black floss, Moon graphite floss, Twice floss, Dr. Jen’s silk floss)
Oil pulling (coconut oil with clove & tea tree oil, or Guru Nanda oil pulling product)
Brush teeth
Tongue scraper (not everyday, couple of times a week and not too hard)
Alcohol free mouthwash (TheraBreath)
More so related to my lip area but I try to use wrinkle preventing straws or when I do use regular straws, I place it on the side of my mouth. The reason this works is because puckering the lips excessively causes smokers lines/wrinkles around the mouth.

Skin

Skincare. This was something that took me a while to work on because of my PCOS, age, weight and etc.
Facial Care: The basics includes chemical exfoliation, retinol, moisturizerecover. I cycle my nightly skincare routine with this in mind and always keep the same morning routine. Mornings look like this (Jojoba oil to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, vitamin c/peptide serum, moisturizer with a drop or two of glycerin, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, finish with sunscreen).
My nights I alternate these routines in this order
Night 1 - Chemical Exfoliation (Oil cleanser to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, glycolic/lactic acid, moisturizer with a drop or two of glycerin, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, castor oil on lashes and brows)
Night 2 - Retinol (Oil cleanser to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, retinol, moisturizer, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, castor oil on lashes and brows)
Night 3 - MoisturizeRecovery (Oil cleanser to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, retinol, moisturizer with a drop or two of glycerin, rosehip oil as sealant on entire face, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, castor oil on lashes and brows)
Repeat Night 1 - 3 (sometimes I need more days to recover if my skin is sensitive or acting up, do what works for you personally)
Other things that I've done/used to help: red light therapy (helps with both hair growth, so I use it on my scalp, and with stretch marks so I use it on my face and body), Microcurrent device (helps with collagen production and stretchmarks) - I use the brand NuFace & NuBody, Volufiline (a skin serum I mix with eye cream that helps with hollowness under the eyes, Kigelia Africana Skin Cream (I use the brand Maelys B-Perky which contains this ingredient and helped to tighten my chest area and my loose skin on the area), face yoga and myo fascia face massage, these help with the tautness of my face (basically everything else helps with wrinkles, these exercises and the microcurrent helps and prevents, sagging especially jowls). I follow tutorials I search for from youtube.
Body Care: Similar to facial care body care includes exfoliation, retinol, moisturizerecover
Night 1 - Physical Exfoliation (Dry brush/Body Scrub, Hydrating lotion with a few drops of glycerin, rosehip oil as sealant on entire body)
Night 2 - Retinol (Jojoba oil to help while I use my gua sha, retinol body wash, retinol body lotion)
Night 3 - MoisturizeRecovery (Jojoba oil to help while I use my gua sha, Hydrating lotion with a few drops of glycerin, rosehip oil as sealant on entire body)
Again, repeat Night 1 - 3 use more days for recovery if needed
Stretch marks/loose skin: Whether due to weight gain, pregnancy, etc. we can't ever truly get rid of loose skin or stretch marks but moisturizing the skin and derma rolling can help with the appearance. Especially derma rolling. Do NOT derma roll while pregnant but you can do so after when you’ve recovered and talk to your doctor (if you've had a c section you have to wait before derma rolling). I used this video as motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChG8aSvEU6A
For the body I never went beyond 1.5mm it worked for my deepest stretch marks. If this is too aggressive 1.0mm still works just as well. Make sure you use 70% alcohol as this is what experts say is better at disinfecting. It has more water, which helps it to dissolve more slowly, penetrate cells, and kill bacteria. The disinfecting power of rubbing alcohol drops at concentrations higher than 80%-85%. Make sure you disinfect the derma roller before and after use, and make sure you disinfect your area of contact before rolling as well. Do not do heavy workouts workout or sweat inducing activities for at least 3 days after and avoid harsh products.
I started derma rolling while working on losing weight (at the beginning of my journey while still obese) and continued a year after losing 130lbs. Derma rolling works by causing micro tears, the skin heals the area and in the process of doing so develops more collagen - leading to thicker skin, lighter stretch marks and tighter skin. Since I did this before losing the weight it helped my skin adapt a lot. I won't pretend like I have 0 loose skin or stretch marks but it's barely visible. Someone has to be intimately close to notice. Obviously genetics, how slowly you lose the weight, diet, and moisturizing the skin helps but my PCOS contributed to low collagen (thin skin) and so the derma rolling really helped.

Weight loss vs Fat loss

Tons of info here but I promise if you read through it helps to know this stuff.
Weightloss comes down to calories in versus calories out. I know that's rudely simpliflied and not that easy, but it truly is the answer to weightloss (which may be fat, water, or muscle). This is why people can eat barely nothing, lose weight but their shape stays the same (basically skinny fat). It's also why fasting or going low carb works so fast (water weight is the first to go).
Fatloss on the other hand is more complicated. This involves our TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure).
TDEE includes: Resting/Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR), Metabolic Equivalent of Task or Exercise activity thermogenesis (EAT), Non-exercise activity thermogenesis (NEAT), Thermic Effect of Food (TEF), and Adaptive Thermogenesis (AT).
BMR (~70% daily energy) the energy taken to exist, so tasks like breathing. Your sex, body composition (muscle to fat ratio), age, and genetics play a role in this EAT (~5% daily energy) the energy taken for exercise weight lifting, swimming, high intensity walks, etc. NEAT (~15% daily energy) the energy taken for non exercise movements like walking, fidgeting, showering, standing, etc TEF (~10% daily energy depending on the macronutrients of your meal) the energy taken to digest, protein has the highest TEF of all the macronutrients, Carbs have a TEF of around 5-10%, while Fats have the lowest TEF, around 0-3%.
Adaptive Thermogenesis (AT) is the changes in energy expenditure (energy used) that occur in response to changes in energy balance. For example when you eat more food than you need, your body may increase energy expenditure to prevent weight gain eg. move more, eat less the next day, etc.. On the other hand, when you eat less food than you need, your body may decrease energy expenditure to conserve energy and prevent weight loss eg. less movement, eat more the next day.
Other things that affect AT include diet composition (eg high/low protein, high/low carb, calorie dense foods, etc), physical activity (eg. weights vs. cardio), and environmental factors such as temperature and altitude.
Things that influence AT can make weight management challenging, as it can lead to plateaus or rebounds in weight loss efforts. This is why lack of sleep, hormonal issues, aging, etc. makes weightloss harder.
Here is a clearer example of this
Things that affect calories in:

8-9 Hours of sleep (Maintains metabolic homeostasis, insulin sensitivity, hormonal processes). Compromised sleep lead to:
- Increased Gherlin (hunger hormone - feeling hungrier & therefor eating more)
- Decreased Leptin (sensation of satiety - needing to eat more to feel full)
Insulin resistance: This is when the cells in your muscles, fat, and liver don't respond well to insulin and can't easily take up glucose from your blood. This results in excessive sugar in the blood & as a result the body produces more insulin in order to try to help the cells obtain the energy from glucose. This leads to weight gain as the insulin increases hunger. Also, since the body is insulin resistant, the excess glucose is converted to fat for long-term storage.
- Things that can cause insulin resistance: PCOS, Inactivity/sedentary lifestyle, family history of diabetes, gestational diabetes, hypertension, alcohol abuse, poor sleep habits, high cholesterol levels, metabolic syndrome, cardiovascular disease, high bodyweight, acromegaly

Things that affect calories out:

Body Composition (Fat to muscle ratio)
Gut health
Compromised sleep affects our energy levels which leads to
- Decreased NEAT (Non exercise activity thermogenesis)
Hypothyroidism (lowered levels of T3 and T4)
- Thyroid hormones T3 and T4 affects every cell and all the organs in your body by regulating the rate at which your body uses calories/energy which is known as our bmr, meaning this affects your metabolic rate.
Too few calories lowers daily NEAT
- By eating below your BMI (calories needed to perform basic biological processes), your body makes up for this through energy conservation by lowering your NEAT (non exercise activity thermogenesis). Basically you lack the energy to perform your normal daily activities. This also affects your body composition and cardio health as you become sedentary (stop moving as much).

Healthy Fat loss

So to lose fat in a healthy way you need to:

Get enough sleep (8-9 hours per night)
Manage your stress levels/nervous system regulation
Look after your gut health
Manage inflammation
Increase your daily steps (8-10k per day)
Weight lift
Eat high protein (protein takes the most amount of energy to digest).
Manage your insulin resistence
Eat in a caloric deficit (make sure your calories in do not exceed calories out).

Futher information about the bold items in the list is included below. Also, I know this all seems overwhelming but keep in mind you are creating a lifestyle change. This is not a quick fix.
To manage your insulin resistance (info from the book Glucose Goddess by Jessie Inchauspé):

Eat within an hour of waking up
Protein with breakfast
Tablespoon of apple cider vinegar before each meal (diluted in a glass of water)
Eat foods in this order, veggies -> protein -> fat -> starches -> carbs -> sugar
Never eat sweets/dessert/carbs on an empty stomach (dessert after dinner)
Keep refined carbs and added sugar at a minimum.
Minimize alcohol intake
Try to minimize sodas, fruit juice and sweet drinks (this is because there is no fiber to help with the glucose spike or at least try to have these drinks after eating something fiberous)
Only eat fruit whole, not transformed eg. eat the orange instead of having the orange juice, again fiber makes a world of a difference
Put clothing on your carbs. Eg. have protein/fats/fiber with your carbs
A short walk after carb heavy meals
Fasting - this is controversial and I should add a disclaimer, if you in any way shape or form have or had an eating disorder, especially restrictive eating, I highly recommend against fasting. Intermittent fasting has a lot of studies out there that were done on men. The book Fast Like a Girl by Dr. Mindy Pelz includes a nuanced view of fasting that takes into account our hormones and our monthly cycle. She also has a free app 'Fast like a girl', you log your period and it tells you how long to fast. However, bioindividuality is key here, genetics, etc. Please if you are considering fasting make sure you get bloodwork done first. Manage your electrolyte levels, do not neglect iron and protein levels. Personally, I prefer using the other methods since fasting can also inadvertently worsens insulin resistence due to increased stress/cortisol which cause higher hunger cues. Some with insulin resistence found fasting to be helpful. So make sure you do what works for you and always consult your doctor.
Supplements:
- Vitamin D paired with Vitamin K1 & K2
- Magnesium Biglycinate (I take this before bed)
- Omega-3 Fatty Acids
- Turmeric
- Coenzyme 10 (Take with Clomid & Vitamin E)
- N-Acetylcysteine (NAC)
- Inositol
- Zinc (Important to Note: It works inversely with testosterone - raises testosterone if your levels are low and lowers it if your levels are high)

To eat in a caloric deficit, calculate your TDEE and subtract 200-500 calories from that number. I like using this calculator. https://tdeecalculator.net
Eg. If it's calculated to be 2000 calories, you subtract 200, so 1800 should be your daily calorie intake. For the activity levels make sure you do not oversell yourself. Here is a general guide:

Sedentary: Office job sat all day or less than 3000 steps per day
Lightly Active: Exercise 1-3 times per week or 3-10k steps daily (up to 3-4 miles daily)
Moderately Active: Exercise 3-5 times per week or 10-15k steps daily (up to 4-7 miles daily)
Highly Active: Hard exercise 6-7 training days per week or 15-20k steps daily (up to 7-10 miles daily)
Extremely Active: Intense daily exercise/hard physical labour 7 days a week or 25k+ steps daily (up to 10 miles daily)

As you lose weight your body adapts so after a while you may need to recalculate your TDEE and deficit. Once you are at your ideal weight, you no longer subtract the 200-500, you simply eat the TDEE amount to maintain but you do this gradually. After I lost the weight I came out of the deficit by adding 50 calories to my daily intake per week, till I was at maintenance/my TDEE. This prevented me from gaining fat or water weight.
Lastly, muscle mass (increase in muscle raises your metabolic level, meaning you burn more calories at rest). This is ideal and is also how you'll see someone who is short, seemingly small but weigh more than you imagined. Muscle density weighs more than fat. Think of a 50 pound dumbbell versus 50 pounds of feathers, you would need a whole lot of feathers to match the weight. Same difference, you need a larger volume of fat to equal to the same amount of muscle. Therefore, lifting weights is ideal because you will become more toned, burn more calories at rest, be able to eat more even when you've lost the weight to maintain your phisique, you'll be more insulin sensitive, and you will have stronger and higher bone density (really important for women, we lose up to 5% of muscle mass per decade after the age of 30).

Body Recompositon: Weightlifting for health (and aesthetics), lose fat & gain muscle

It is possible to gain muscle and lose fat at the same time. I followed Huskular Goddess and and LexiiGettingFit for inspiration and they were really the ones that opened my eyes to the concept of body recomposition (gain musle while losing fat).
The benefits of this is as you're getting smaller your TDEE is increasing. This means by the time you lose the weight you'll still be eating an adequate amount. The other benefits include insulin sensitivity versus insulin resistence, higher metabolism, and a improved body composition like I mentioned before in the dummbell versus feather example. The downside is the number on the scale won't have a dramatic shift while your clothes will be fitting looser. Again, weight density plays tricks on us and it's easy to get caught up in body dismorphia but I promise it works.
In order to sustain and build muscle while losing fat, you need to be consuming enough protein while remaining in a caloric deficit. So 60-80g of protein per day minimum to lose 1-2lbs per week. Ideally it should be 0.8-1g of per pound of lean body mass. Eg, someone is 300lbs and they want to get down to 150lbs. They would eat 120-150g of protein per day. If this is too much, try to get at least 60-80g like I mentioned before. Remember even though 1-2lbs per week sounds small, the changes are significant because of the muscle gained. You will look and feel smaller.
Weightlifting for a rounder booty (I reshaped my glutes by weightlifting. Hormones can actually affect the shape and my PCOS did a number on me. I developed a V shape over the years. Round, square, heart, A shapes are all based on your bone structure and fat placement. Some of us just have those stubborn fat deposits in certain areas that are genetic, even when we lose the weight, it's a smaller version but the same shape. V shape on the other hand is largely seen in older women post menopause and in younger women with hormonal disorders. This is becuase the hormonal imbalances also causes muscle imbalances. Regulating your hormones helps but it won't grow the muscles for you, so I used Fit With Emely's glute guide based on your glute shape (completely free, I watched all her videos to get this info and it took me two years to go from a V shape to a round shape.
Here is the guideline for each shape:
Glute Maximus - Everyone should be working on glute maximus. It builds the shelf and overall size. Step ups (all variations), hip thrusts (all variations), lunges, rdl, leg press, all squat variations Glute Minimus - (V and Square shapes), this muscle fills in the middle between the top and lower glute. Hip abduction, single leg bridge, Standing hip abduction/cable raises Gute Medius - (Heart, Round, and A-shaped) this muscles builds a longer hip for top portion of the glutes. Eg. Single leg squat, Single leg deadlift, Cable clamshells, Reverse lung, step ups Underbutt - Everyone should be working on underbutt but this is especially useful for V shaped folks. It works the hamstrings and lower portion of glutes. Good mornings, single leg rdl (also works minimus), single leg hip thrust (also works maximus), hip abductors (also works minimus)
How to structure workout:

Warm up/Dynamic Stretches (specific to the muscle group you're working eg. lower body warm up or upper body warm up, etc.)
Compound exercises (2-3 exercises eg. single leg rdl, good mornings, leg press - for each exercise you do 3-4 sets, 8-12 reps, with 3-4 minute rest between sets). That probably sounds like a foreign language to some, so for instance:
- Start excercise 1
- Set 1 (repeat exercise 1 - rdl 8 times)
- 3 minute rest
- Set 2 (repeat exercise 1 - rdl 8 times)
- 3 minute rest
- Set 3 (repeat exercise 1 - rdl 8 times)
- Move on to exercise 2
- Set 1 (repeat exercise 2 - leg press 8 times)
- 3 minute rest
- Set 2 (repeat exercise 2 - leg press 8 times)
- 3 minute rest
- Set 3 (repeat exercise 2 - leg press 8 times)
- Move on to exercise 3
- Set 1 (repeat exercise 3 - good mornings 8 times)
- 3 minute rest
- Set 2 (repeat exercise 3 - good mornings 8 times)
- 3 minute rest
- Set 3 (repeat exercise 3 - good mornings 8 times)
Secondary Workouts (2-3 exercises eg. step ups, bulgarian split squats, lunges - for each exercise you do 3-4 sets, 8-12 reps, with 3-4 minute rest between sets)
Isolated/Accessory Movements: these exercises work one part of the muscle more than others, for example an overbias on the underbutt/hamstring like I mentioned before to help with the V shape ( eg. hip abductors, kickbacks, glute bridge, lying leg raises, etc. (1-2 exercises high repetitions, low weight 2-3 sets, 15-20 reps, 1-2 minute rest between sets)
Static stretch/cool down (specific to the muscle group you're working eg. lower body cool down or upper body cool down, etc.)

Keep in mind that you only need to work on a muscle group 2-3 times a week. So I only do glutes Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Also keep in mind while I work the lower body I am also working my upper body (eg. while doing rdls I am lifting the weight with my upper body), which is why I don't have tailered upper body days, this is for aesthetic reasons, and because weightlifting more than 3 days per week is not feasible with my PCOS.
My full routine is:

Monday- lower body
Tuesday - Pilates/core
Wednesday - Rest (I still go for walks on these days)
Thursday - lower body
Friday - Pilates/core
Saturday - lower body
Sunday - Rest (I still go for walks on these days)

I also used primarily resistance bands in the beginning because gym equipment intimidated me (not anymore :) ). I started with 25lb resistance and went up to 125lbs. I use the product BandBar which allowed me to use the resistance bands like a barbell at home. This isn’t the only option and you can definitely buy resistance bands and do it without the bar. BandBar
For the ab separation from being obese, I did this workout 3 times a week (also helpful post pregnancy): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smiGsW-mQX0
For my chest to help with getting perkier boobs (the derma rolling was what made the biggest difference, but this exercise helped as well though it took 6+ months for the changes to be significant. Women tend to take longer to grow chest muscles): https://youtu.be/hg7_R29jGIE?feature=shared
I also did workouts to help with my posture and mobility 3 times a week (any I could find online)
The last thing I will say is be mindful that you may gain weight initially when you start lifting weights. This is due to slight inflammation/water gain from foreign tension, which will last about a month or two before you adapt BUT your body will adapt, I promise. Keep in mind if it's days before your period or if you are on your period. It's not if, but when, our weight fluctuates. As long as you are in a deficit and doing everything right, the number will go down. Do not get discouraged!!!
Here is the edit to this post which includes my supplements, how I managed my inflammation, and how I improved my gut health. I also edited the information I shared prior to include a few more tips and lifestyle changes I made, and included a few more details. I also rearranged things so there is a separation between style/haiskin and health information. The post is getting really long so I may create a separate post for personal development/mindset tips.

Inflammation

In my case my inflammation was caused by my PCOS, insulin resistence and my obesity, but it can be caused by chronic stress, other autoimmune disorders like IBS, Crohn's disease, etc, smoking/alcohol, age related diseases, environmental toxins, diets high in processed foods, sugars, trans fats & high omega-6 fatty acids.
In my case the inflammation from the PCOS led to gut inflammation due to the high levels of coritsal (stress hormones) in reaction to the high testosterone and insulin resistence. I also experienced metabolic inflammation (non alcoholic fatty liver disease), skin inflammation (as I mentioned earlier the ezcema on my scalp, alopecia, and hirsutism), adipose tissue inflammation, chronic low grade inflammation (this led to edema or fuid retention -> insulin resistance and my high testosteron/androgen levels also exacerbated this).
To fix this these were the thin I added to my life:

Dry brushing 2-3 times a week
Body Gua sha
Face Gua Sha or Face Yoga or Myofascial Massage
Jump Rope
Trampoline/Rebounder
Vibration Plate (very useful for after a workout or while sitting down)
Acupressure mat
Arvigo (Mayan Abdominal massage) & Lymphatic drainage massage
Leg elevation, I sleep with a pillow under my knees. In the evenings I keep my legs up.
Massages
Sweat more (exercise/sauna/steam room)
Portable Infrared Sauna (reduce cortisol by 25%)
Microcurrent
Compression socks
Castor oil pack 3-4x per week
Eliminate inflammatory triggers (mine were gluten & dairy)
- Switch to sourdough
- Eliminate seed oils
- Avoid alcohol & smoking
Supplements
- Vitamin D paired with Vitamin K1 & K2
- Magnesium Biglycinate (I take this before bed)
- Omega-3 Fatty Acids
- Turmeric
- Coenzyme 10 (Take with Clomid & Vitamin E)
- N-Acetylcysteine (NAC)
Teas that helped
- Turmeric
- Red Rasberru Leaf Tea
- Fennel
- Chamomile

Gut Health

Your microbiota needs the right bacteria in the right amount to perform its hormone regulating functions properly. When the type or number of bacteria gets disturbed by events such as stress, or poor diet, or your gut can no longer accomplish its job meaning you'll have inflammation, increased risk of chronic disease, skin conditions, mental health issues, weakened immune system, nutrient absorprion problems, and weight management challenges.
For weight loss issues, gut microbiomes influence hormones in producing and signaling leptin and ghrelin (these hormones regulate hunger and fullness signals). Inflammation and insulin resistence is also associated with gut health problems as mentioned before. Energy extraction from foods, certain gut bacteria are more efficient at extracting energy from food, particularly carbohydrates. When there is an imbalance, more calories can be absorbed from food leading to difficulties gaining or losing weight.
Things I did to improve gut health/intestinal permeability:

Ate foods rich in digestive enzymes (mangoes, pineapple, etc.)
Pre and probiotics (incorporate bifidobacterium and lactobacillus)
- Favorite brand: Seed Heath Probiotics
Pickles (without vinegar): Great source of prebiotics
Apple Cider VinegaKimchi/Kombucha/Sauerkraut
- Beware of certain types of vinegar contain chemicals which kill bacteria, “the good bacteria”, and leave the yeast Candida albicans alone.
- Raw apple cider vinegar contains: Natural probiotics (friendly bacteria), which may help with your immune system and gut health.
  - Tablespoon of apple cider vinegar (diluted in a glass of water) before each meal
- Balsamic vinegar: Acetic acid is the active compound in balsamic vinegar. This acid contains strains of probiotics that aid digestion. The probiotics found in acetic acid can help promote good gut health and digestion while supporting overall immune function.
Raw Carrots (has the type of fiber that binds and flushes out toxins in gut, good to have as daily hormone & digestion support)
Limit Processed foods and Sugar
No drinking or smoking
Stress managment (which I'll expand on just below)
Increase fiber intake
Regularly exercise
Supplements
- Ginger
- L-Glutamine
- Olive leaf extract (especially helpful if you have candida overgrowth)
- Turmereric
Teas
- Ginger
- Lemon Balm

Lower androgens/testosterone

Teas
- Nettle Tea
- Spearmint tea
Spearmint oil topically for hirsutism
Supplements
- Schisandra (adaptogen - stress management & hormone balance)
- Saffron (Also helps reduce testosterone, lower blood pressure and prevents bad cholesterol)
- Inositol
- Holy Basil
- Magnesium Biglycinate (I take this before bed)
- Omega-3 Fatty Acids
- Coenzyme 10 (Take with Clomid & Vitamin E)
- Zinc (Important to Note: It works inversely with testosterone - raises testosterone if your levels are low and lowers it if your levels are high)

Nervous System Regulation/ Stress Management

Stress is one of the things that age us the most, and people with PCOS already have higher levels of cortisol so these are the things I do to manage my stress levels:

Regulate circadian rhythm, direct sunlight upon waking up. I use a sunrise alarm clock lamp for this
Same bedtime everynight (pre midnight)
Invert screen colors at bedtime (red filter on screens)
Pillow under knees
No loud alarms
Magnesium biglycinate supplement before bed
Regulate circadian rhythm, view the sunset before bed. I use a sunrise alarm clock lamp for this
Spend a few minutes breathing through left nostril only
Epsom salt foot soak
Journal
Get back to using my coloring books (I even invested in alcohol based markers it's so fun). Regulates me and gets me in touch with my inner child
Time with friends, my puppy, and my family
Supplements
- Holy Basil (adaptogen - stress management & hormonal balance)
- L-Theanine
- Magnesium biglycinate
Teas
- Red raspberry leaf (adaptogen - stress management, also good for menstrual cramps)
- Reishi Mushroom
- Lemon Balm
Night time mocktail (have after dinner and not on an empty stomach due to the sugar levels in the tart cherry)
- Teaspoon of tart cherry (high levels of melatonin)
- Magnesium biglycinate powder
- Probiotic soda (good for gut health)

Tea cycling

On your period
- Nettle leaf: Increase iron levels
- Moringa: Increase iron levels
- Red Raspberry leaf: Helps with period cramps (best to drink throughout the month, especially at the end of the luteal phase
- Chamomile: Helps with wellness wind down routine when you're feeling extra tired
Follicular phase
- Focus teas: Peppermint, Spearmint
- Adaptogens: Lion's mane, Adaptogen latte, and Chaga mushroom
- Detox: Dandelion Root
Ovulation phase
- Detox: Dandelion root tea
- Bloating: turmeric tea latte/golden latte
- Estrogen dominance - symptoms (bad hormonal migraines, hot flashes, nausea): Schisandra berry, Lemon balm
Luteal phase
- PMS symptoms: Raspberry leaf, Schisandra berry, Ginger root (powder or tea)

The best teas for PCOS

Spearmint
- For reducing androgens & lowering hirsutism (facial hair)
Cinnamon tea (improves insulin sensitivity)
Chamomile tea (Adaptogen)
Nettle Tea (reduce androgens)
Red raspberry leaf (adaptogen/stress relief, also good for menstrual cramps)
Schisandra (adaptogen/stress relief & hormone balance)
Saffron (Also helps reduce testosterone, lower blood pressure and prevents bad cholesterol)
Ginger (ginger offers anti-inflammatory, fertility and hormone-balancing benefits, aides digestion )

Seed Cycling

What is seed cycling? Seed cycling refers to the consumption of specific seeds at different times of the month in order to improve the production and levels of sex hormones, specifically estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone.
Seed cycling divides the female menstrual cycle into two parts:

During the first half of the menstrual cycle, or days 1 through 14, seed cycling encourages daily consumption of flax and pumpkin seeds.
During the second half of the menstrual cycle, or days 15 through 28, seed cycling encourages daily consumption of sunflower and sesame seeds

Results from seed cycling will not happen overnight. Normally women observe improvements after approximately three months of seed cycling adherence. It took me about 4ish months.
The Benefits of Seed Cycling: Support hormonal balance, alleviate PMS symptoms, decrease hormonal acne, alter irregularity of menstrual cycles, and fight stomach bloating and fatigue.

Eleven days prior
The ten stealth pods were on their final approach after drifting for two days from the small moon orbiting their target planet. They were ejected from a nullship that flashed out of null space below the moon’s southern pole, taking advantage of the strong magnetic fields in that region to mask the exit flash and avoid detection by the insectoid ships in orbit around the planet. The planet and the moon were currently transiting through a large meteor stream that intersected their orbit around the sun three times a year. The command-pod AI ran billions of calculations per second as it started creating an atmospheric entry plan for the ten pods that would coincide with the trajectories of the numerous particles of dust and debris that would be entering the atmosphere for the next three days.
Selecting an area with a projected high concentration of small-diameter meteors in the next hour, the AI created a maneuvering program for the pods that activated a series of compressed-gas positional thrusters to guide the pods over to the entry point. The AI confirmed the calculations and initiated the final entry program as the ten pods fired their rear gas thrusters one last time and accelerated towards the planet. They were joined by over a thousand pieces of cosmic debris as they entered the atmosphere and streaked across the sky, flaring brightly as they dropped towards the surface with the other meteors.
Kepler-186f system
2^nd planet, Insectoid Builder World, 2174 A.D.
The special forces team had been on the planet for ten days without seeing any signs or indications of the presence of a queen on the planet. Lieutenant Diego could not believe the sheer number of drones he saw in the last nine days since they marched forty kilometers from their landing site towards an endlessly sprawling ground-based shipyard facility. Tens of millions of drones scurried about day and night as raw material was offloaded by massive aerial cargo ships that landed, were emptied, and flew off to reload in an endless procession. Diego found himself enthralled by their construction processes and the astonishing speed at which they built ships. In just the last five days, he saw ten insectoid cruisers go from a skeletal framework to fully completed and watched as they lifted off the surface and went into orbit. He was particularly impressed with how the tough ship hulls were created. A large percentage of the cargo being dropped off seemed to be organic in nature and was dumped into large tanks scattered throughout the shipyard.
A conveyor system comprising hundreds of thousands of worker drones connected all the tanks and would snake their way among the shipbuilding areas, carrying loads of the organic material on their backs and dumping it at the end of the lines. Other drones with smaller containers would fill them with material and bring them to waiting drones by the ships, dumping the contents on the ground in front of them, and then go back for more material. The drones in front of their piles would then start eating the organic material, swallowing it. After they ate the pile in front of them, they would scurry over to the ships and start regurgitating what they ate into their tarsal claws in small amounts and shaping them into round balls. They would then stack the balls in a row like bricklayers until they ran out of regurgitated material. They would then go back to eat more material, while teams of drones would take their place and wave a handheld apparatus that seemed to heat the balls, and they would melt, deforming from the treatment and filling in the gaps, turning into perfect hexagons.
Once a section was completed, a different team of drones would arrive with a large device and set it up. They would then turn the device on, and a god-awful screeching sound would emanate from the front of the device and be directed towards the still-soft sections of the hull. Within thirty seconds, that section of hull would start groaning, and the opaque, soft hexagons would turn jet black and harden into a tough, metal-like material. An Insectoid cruiser that was 360 meters long, 60 meters wide, and 120 meters tall would have its entire hull constructed and enclosed in forty-two hours.
An alert popped up on his HUD that it was time to insert another energy pack into the shrouding system that camouflaged his team and prevented detection. He keyed his throat mike and issued the command for everyone to replace their energy packs, and he turned to face the two civilian scientists to make sure that they received and understood the order. He was vehemently opposed to bringing them, but the admiral was adamant that they were to accompany the team, and Diego relented after some resistance. There was no way in hell he was willing to piss off the big man over a couple of civvies; there were better hills to die on.
As he watched them fumble about for their replacement packs, he smiled and had to admit that they were growing on him. During the two weeks it took them to get to the far side of Insectoid space, their wide-eyed enthusiasm and willingness to talk about their respective fields of study seemed to infect his team, and they became almost like little siblings to them. He chuckled to himself as he remembered how confused Dr. Ariti seemed to be by the fact that his team was able to process and retain the information she was telling them with ease. He was there when Dr. Masiello informed her that the eight-member team held over twenty PhD’s among them, and the look on her face was just the cutest thing he ever saw.
The sun was halfway down past the horizon, which meant they had just another hour of daylight before darkness would arrive. He signaled that it was time to pack up and move, and in a few minutes, they were headed back towards their base camp. He was grateful for the .7g gravity on the surface, as it made their daily hikes with equipment and the frequent relocations of their camp to avoid detection easier. It also gave his joints a welcome reprieve from their usual aches, a mercy he greatly appreciated. They arrived at base camp a half hour later, and everyone went about their assigned tasks and end-of-day routines before they all sat down around a red-light lantern in the middle of the camp to have dinner.
The combination of the eerie red light and the pitch blackness of their surroundings was something none of them could get used to, and it created an ominous atmosphere as they reluctantly opened their ration packs. The shrouding device could hide them effectively, but they enacted as many safeguards as they could against detection, such as only using red lights at night and eating foods that had been stripped of any scent and devoid of flavoring spices. The result of their security measures was that they felt like they were eating cardboard in hell. Diego had been sick before and felt like he couldn’t really taste his food when his nose was stuffed, but he always knew he was eating his mom’s chicken soup. As vague as the scent and taste of the soup might be, it was still there, and he could detect its essence. The food they were eating was on a totally different level, and he never realized just how important a component smell was to tasting food until he ate rations completely devoid of any scent or seasoning except for salt and potassium chloride.
As they choked down their dinner, he noticed Emily and Owen shooting furtive glances at each other, and they seemed agitated. He waited until they all finished eating and indicated that he wanted to talk to them alone. They walked 10 meters away from the red-light lamp and stopped right on the edge of the total blackness surrounding their camp. Emily and Owen seemed really distressed, and he knew something was seriously wrong. He didn’t have the time or the patience for their bullshit, and his internal alarms were going off wildly.
“What is going on with you two? Tell me, now.” He saw them cringe at his harsh manner, but he couldn’t afford to feel bad for them. Not on an enemy planet with almost thirty billion wasps that were five feet tall and armed with skull-cracking mandibles and twelve-inch serrated stingers coming out of their asses. They didn’t answer, and he stepped forward into their personal space and was just about to demand answers when Owen, in an uncharacteristic show of bravery, put himself in front of Emily as if to protect her.
“Lieutenant, I would appreciate it if you would direct your questions to me. There is no reason for you to speak to Emily like this. She is rightfully terrified, and I have spent the last ten days trying not to shit my fucking pants in front of all of you, so do me a favor and get the fuck out of our faces.”
Diego couldn’t believe the balls on this puke, and he almost gave in to his desire to punch the defiant bastard in the face before he realized how ridiculous it was. Here he was, squaring off with an entomologist who was telling him to fuck off, and the absurdity of it all and the pressures of the mission came crashing into him. He took a few steps back, turning around and breathing deeply, trying to calm himself. Owen, now in the throes of an uncontrolled adrenaline crash, waited a few seconds and then stepped next to him and put out a very shaky fist bump, offering an unsaid apology with his eyes. Diego bumped it, and he turned back to face Emily. “I apologize for the way I spoke to you; I am not used to having civilians on my missions. I hope we can reset and put this behind us.”
Emily nodded, and Owen walked back over and stood next to her. Emily looked at Owen and nodded, and Owen pulled out a data pad, set it on the floor, and pressed a button. A holographic map floated above it, and he pinched the display with his fingers and zoomed into the area where they were currently located. “Lieutenant, we are of the opinion that we are not going to locate a queen on the surface.” He expanded the map back out and swiped it sideways to an area over a hundred kilometers to the east. He zoomed back in and pressed an icon on the map that added a subterranean scan, and a massive underground structure popped into view, looking like an upside-down pinecone, with the narrow top of the structure expanding in size as it went deeper. Diego leaned forward to look at the numbers on the side of the structure and whistled softly to himself as the estimated dimensions were displayed. The structure was thirty-six kilometers deep and had a radius of twelve kilometers at its widest. It was a massive underground Hive, and there was a flashing question mark in the center of the Hive where there was a large chamber located. It seemed to be the nexus of the Hive, which was connected to the rest of the structure by six bridges or tunnels. Owen pointed towards the question mark icon. “This has to be the queen chamber, and if there is a queen currently on the planet, that is where she will be.”
Diego stared at the map, thinking about how to get her out of there. He keyed his throat mike and called for Sgt. Singh to join them at their location. A few moments later, he arrived, and Diego quickly brought him up to speed. Singh was the team’s engineer sergeant, and he thoughtfully stroked his beard as he looked at the display. “Obviously, we cannot infiltrate the Hive to root the bitch out. I have enough explosives and demo bots to severely damage some of the cruisers under construction; maybe that will get the queen to leave the Hive, if she is even in there.” He finished speaking, and Diego looked at the doctors to gauge their reaction to what he said. Emily spoke first. “I would not do that. We don’t know what their response to that will be. They might have soldier drones. We haven’t seen any here or found any evidence of them from the wreckage in the Eleani system, but that does not mean that they do not have a soldier or guard caste protecting their hives.”
Owen nodded in agreement and added, “We need to find a way to know for sure if there even is a queen here before alerting them to our presence. Who’s to say that the queens wouldn’t respond to such an attack by retreating to their primary world and staying there, depriving us of a chance to grab a queen ever again? I might have an idea, and the sergeant’s expertise and input would be welcomed.” Diego nodded, and both he and Singh took a knee as Owen played around with the map, highlighting an area of the shipyard almost fifty kilometers from their position.
He asked his AI assistant to access the geological and topographical scans that were taken from orbit before they landed on the planet and highlighted a five-square-kilometer section of crust under the outer edge of the shipyard. “The crust is extremely thin here, and there is a massive chasm underneath this area from the worker drones pumping out the aquifer for water. I think a series of properly placed sub-surface explosives will cause the thin roof of the chasm to weaken enough to collapse a small area, and the weight of this section of the shipyard will add further stress to the undamaged crust and collapse the entire area, causing all the ships and workers to fall into the chasm. It would seem to be a natural occurrence, and we can avoid having to give away our presence on the planet. I bet that will get the queen up here if she is in the Hive.” Owen then added markers indicating where he thought the explosives should go and their yields, and then looked at Singh, waiting for his response.
Singh quickly played around with the map, ran his own calculations on the placement and explosive yields, and looked at Owen with a growing respect in his eyes as his AI assistant verified the numbers. “Not bad, Doc; this is pretty good for a bug guy! Are you a geologist too?” Owen smiled widely at the praise from Singh and answered with obvious pride in his voice. “Actually, I did two six-month tours as an ore prospector in the Fomalhaut asteroid belts before my then-girlfriend threatened to break up with me. I was pretty good at figuring out the proper explosive placement to break up the asteroids while maintaining the integrity of the mineral deposits and cores. It was a fun job, and the money I made paid for my parents retirement home and my college.” Singh nodded approvingly and stood up, walking over to Owen and warmly shaking his hand. “It is always nice to make the acquaintance of an ore prospector; it’s a dangerous job and requires a lot of technical skill.”
Diego rolled his eyes and studied the map while the two of them continued talking about blowing crap up and zoned out the lovefest. Emily came over and sat down next to him. “I agree with Owen. If the queen is in the Hive, she would have to come out and oversee the worker drone response to the collapse. Do you think it is a good plan?” Diego grunted in response as he continued to think about the feasibility of the plan and the possible outcomes. He turned to her and nodded. “I do think it is a solid plan, and even if there is no queen here, then at least we can do some damage to their shipbuilding efforts for a short period of time. There’s what—almost two hundred cruisers in that area? At least we can strike a blow against them if we fail in our objective to capture a queen. Wiping out two hundred cruisers and a few million drones is a nice consolation prize, and we can exfil this planet with pride in that accomplishment.” Emily smiled at him and said, “It would be nice to get off the planet and go back home. I know I volunteered to come here for the mission, but I am tired of being scared all the time; it is exhausting.”
Diego reached out and lightly patted her on the shoulder. “You two are doing a fine damn job so far. I have to admit that the both of you have been far less trouble than I was expecting to have to deal with on this mission.” Emily smiled widely. “Thank you for that, lieutenant; that means a great deal to me.” Diego smiled in return and stood up, offering his hand to assist Emily. They walked back over to Singh and Owen, who were geeking out over the demo bot specs that Singh had pulled up on his wrist pad. “If you two lovebirds are about done, let’s head back over and quickly outline our preliminary plan to the rest of the team. We will work out the details, solidify a proper plan in the morning, and go from there.”
They all started walking back towards the red-light lamp, and Diego slowed his pace as he walked behind them, listening along as Owen was telling Emily and Singh about a time when he spent two days evading an ore pirate ship in a cat-and-mouse chase. His copilot was killed in the initial attack, and he managed to cripple their ship with mining charges when he laid a trap and led them into it. “Not bad for a puke.” He thought to himself as his previous estimation of the scientist rose considerably as Owen described how his damaged ship was almost out of air, so in desperation, he boarded the drifting ore pirate ship and single-handedly took the four survivors prisoners.
A little while later, after everyone had gone into their tents to sleep, Diego was just about to drift off when he heard a faint rustling sound outside his tent and sat upright, alarmed. The sentry bots and the perimeter sensor system did not activate the silent buzz alarm on his wrist pad, and he tapped it, accessing the video feed from the overhead sentry drone that was floating above their camp. From this bird's-eye view, he saw Emily finish tiptoeing across the camp and stop outside Owen’s tent. She looked furtively around the camp before pressing the entry seam control and quickly slipping into his tent before the seam closed back up behind her. He pressed a series of commands, and a few moments later, a backup shroud drone silently assumed position over the tent and activated, making it disappear from the visual feed. He broke the connection to the overhead sentry drone and laid back down, feeling a genuine smile form on his face. He closed his eyes and thought his last thought before sleep overcame him.
“Not bad at all, Owen.”

This story was originally written July 2023.
You might have heard of me. I was a social media influencer for two years.
I know kids have “influencer” as one of their top professions these days, but for me it was all an accident, really. I uploaded a few YouTube videos back in 2019, in the summer I finished school. All I did was rant about movies. I had a few notes, not a full script, and just spouted off to my laptop camera about inaccurate science, bad casting choices, real nitpicky stuff. In about six months I’d got 200 subscribers.
I was at university then, and I mentioned my videos to some of my uni friends. They subbed and told their friends, and I got up to 1,000 sub by January 2020. My videos were only about ten minutes long, and I had nowhere near the views to monetise. I was making one a week, but not on any sort of schedule. It was just something I did when I was bored.
Then the pandemic hit. A lot of students here in England basically got locked into their halls of residence (that’s dorms for any Americans reading), but I was lucky enough to get back to my parents’ before then. So I was doing what my uni laughably called “remote learning”, which basically meant a couple of video lectures a week, some worksheets, and lots and lots of my own research. I won’t bore you with the topic of my course; it’s not relevant.
I’m not exactly stereotypically pretty. I’ve come to accept that. My hair is stringy, my nose is too big, my face is profoundly asymmetrical, my complexion is strange and acned, my teeth are crooked … You get the idea. You can only do so much with makeup and hair that covers your face. I probably have fewer friends than I would if I looked like other people, and it actually took a lot of courage to make that first video - and even more courage to upload it.
I can only assume that’s the reason I went viral. It certainly wasn’t the high production values, or the tightly-written scripts, or the quality of my research. On the 9th of April I had 1,322 subscribers. On the 10th it was over 8,000. By the end of April it was up to 300,000, and I had actually monetised my channel.
The comments were … well, they were varied. Lots of hate because of my looks, but lots of love from people who just appreciated what I put out there, calling out others for their negative comments. I know many social media stars struggle with unkind comments, but I’d got used to it. Let’s be honest, they weren’t nice, but neither were they untrue. And comments under your video are easier to ignore than comments in the street. I was making decent money after all. If you were one of those commenters, you know which side you were on, and I love you either way. Thanks for the engagement - it’s not easy to gain financially from your unusual appearance!
The trouble with going viral is that it doesn’t last. Competing in the fast-paced world of internet stardom takes a lot of effort. I started experimenting with other things - YouTube shorts, TikTok, Instagram, pretty much anything going. The format that turned out to work best was actually TikTok. I’d bought some skimpy outfits and did ridiculous little dances. I quickly reached over a thousand views per video, and while I wasn’t up to their creator tier, it still worked. A well-known cosmetics company asked to sponsor my videos.
Cosmetics! Me! I guess they were going for woke points or something. I didn’t care, they offered me more money than I knew what to do with, as long as my views stayed high. So I started making 2-minute videos. A dance without make-up, then I applied the make-up - being sure to show the brand name clear and up-close - and then the same dance with make-up. If this is ringing any bells with you, then yes - that was me. And no, stupid - that’s not my real name.
I’d got used to undesired attention of course. Along with the unpleasant comments, I got my fair share of unwelcome male approaches. For a few hours after any upload, about half of my DMs were from men, and some women (or men with female account names), asking to see more of me. I wasn’t a camgirl, though I suppose I wasn’t a million miles away from one; but I could have been. I did seriously consider it a few times, but never actually followed through.
And half of the rest of my DMs, and a good portion of the public comments, were from angry women. What made me think I had the right to show off like that? How could I bring their favourite cosmetics brand into disrepute? But I’ve got pretty thick skin (hey, I can make that joke, you can’t), and mostly laughed the comments off and ignored them.
That was, in hindsight, a mistake.
By September my uni was reopening for in-person teaching. I was working six or seven hours a day just to keep up with everything, and had a couple more brands sponsoring me. Being an influencer isn’t just about filming for ten minutes a day and watching the money come in!
So I was going to tutorials an hour a day, watching video lectures at 2x speed, and ignoring my assignments in favour of making videos and replying to messages. It’s not like my pointless degree was helping with my real job.
Okay fine. It was geology. Rocks and stuff. You happy now? I bet you can’t tell the difference between sylvite and carnallite just by licking it, can you?
Anyway, the point is I came close to being chucked out. Actually I had to repeat the second year. At least I could afford it.
So anyway, I somehow got through to the end of my second year, the end of my second year again, and part way through my third year. I was passing my exams - just - and through several reinventions I had managed to maintain my social influencer role. Last Autumn I was getting some good views, and cash, back on YouTube. I was getting pretty good at make-up (I had an exclusive deal with one company on TikTok, and another deal with a different cosmetics company on YouTube). The videos that did well then were me with experimental hairstyles and not much in the way of clothes, putting on makeup for a few minutes, then reading out-of-copyright fiction in my patented “YouTube voice”. If you can imagine a cross between Shania Twain and Marge Simpson then… well, then you’re weird, but you’ve pretty much got it.
Then, last December, a week or so before the Christmas holidays, I went out with my friends. I had made a decent number, both girls and guys, by then. I could never quite tell whether it was my personality (which I assure you is fantastic), my influencer status, or the cash I was liberal with (it always seemed to be my round, and I didn’t mind). There were even a couple of boys who were keen on me, though I hadn’t done anything about it yet. Eight of us went out together to celebrate a birthday. It wasn’t actually anybody’s birthday that day, but Shireen had a Christmas Day birthday, and she wanted a proper party.
Now I look quite different in real life than I do online. I think the technical term is “frumpy” - jeans, trainers, fluffy jumper and a hat, or maybe a hoodie. The birthday girl had somehow convinced me to put a bit more effort in, and had helped me pick out some heels and a knee-length silver dress. Make-up was easy for me of course, and so I got dressed up and off we went to the Black Swan.
The Black Swan has several great qualities about it. One: it’s cheap. Two: it does good food. Three: it’s a couple of hundred metres from The Bar. We had a decent meal, a few drinks, and around 9 we walked to The Bar.
To be more precise, they walked. I wobbled. If you’ve watched my videos you might have seen me in heels, but did you ever see me walk in them? Didn’t think so.
The Bar is open til 3 in the morning. It looks respectable enough from the outside, especially in the afternoon; but after about 11, when most pubs close, it fills up with students drinking expensive-looking drinks. And almost every night, somebody jumps up onto a table, and then everybody’s up there dancing. In The Bar, either you hold your drink tightly, or you lose it.
I’d done this before, and I can handle my alcohol. I’ve stayed at The Bar till chuckout more than a few times, and I’ve been wobbly on the way home, but I’ve never thrown up or passed out. And so I was surprised when I woke up. The last thing I remembered was Stu saying he was tired, and Shireen replying that it wasn’t even midnight yet. Now I was lying on the hard wooden floor of my living room.
My head pounded. Daylight streamed through the window, and I blinked a few times and rubbed my eyes. My hands were wet and sticky.
I looked at them. They were covered in blood.
I looked down. My heels were across the room, but I was still wearing my dress. It, also, was covered in blood, a huge stain across the chest.
Panic set in. What happened to me last night? I checked myself out and could find no injuries. Where did the blood come from?
Standing up, I realised it was worse than that. Red pools stained the wooden floor. I don’t know much medicine, but if somebody had lost this much blood, I couldn’t see how they could have survived.
I stood up, unsure whether my shaking was from the shock or the alcohol. This was when I saw a shirt on the floor behind me. White, with a subtle pattern. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that it wasn’t my shirt. I lived alone, and rarely invited people back to my flat. I looked around some more. A pair of men’s black leather shoes by the door. And then I saw it.
I suppose, rather, I should say him. He was naked except for a pair of dark blue jeans, slumped in the open doorway to the kitchen, covered in blood, and very, very, dead.
I panicked then. I’m calmer now, so let’s take a moment to describe my conclusions that morning. I had got very drunk. I had met a guy. We’d come back to my flat. We’d been getting naked (the shoes and shirt weren’t bloodied). Then, for some reason, we’d had an argument or a fight. The body had stab wounds in the chest, and a pool of blood had congealed onto the wooden floor of the living room and the linoleum of the kitchen where the man collapsed. How did those stab wounds get there? I didn’t know for sure, but a quick glance at my kitchen counter showed that my sharp carving knife was missing. It was all coming together. I didn’t know if he had picked up the knife, or if I had; I didn’t know why either of us would do that. I didn’t even know his name, and later when I checked his pockets, I couldn’t find any ID.
There was a lot I didn’t know. But I’m smart. So once I was done crying on the floor (I think it was about two hours), I came up with a plan. This man was dead, and I couldn’t do anything about that. But what would the consequences be? There’s no need for my life to be ruined as well. I decided not to call the police. People go missing mysteriously all the time, he can just be another statistic and I’ll get on with my life.
The blood on Dave was mostly dry by now. (Sure, I didn’t know his name, but every bloke’s called Dave, right?) So I put a badly-fitting vest on him to soak up the remaining blood, and his shirt over the top, along with his shoes. His jeans were bloody, but they were dark, so hopefully it wouldn’t show up in low light. I couldn’t find his coat, which was odd given how cold it was, but this would have to do. I put my dress and heels in a plastic bag, and grabbed a spade that I never used. Had I missed anything?
The knife. The fucking knife. I searched all over for it, but by the time it got dark I still hadn’t found it. I knew I couldn’t delay for long, so I figured it was best to deal with Dave now, and find the knife later.
Eight o’clock in the evening came. I’m lucky I have parking right outside my house, no street cameras, and a ground-floor flat. I put the bag in the boot of my car and came back for the body.
Have you ever tried to move a dead person? It’s not easy, and I’m not exactly strong. I put my arm around his waist and eventually managed to heave him almost upright. “Come on Dave, that’s it. We’re gonna get you home. Maybe calm down on the tequila next time right? Try to keep it in, and don’t you dare vomit in my car, you sexy bastard.”
Oh come on, what do you want from me? I’m an influencer, not a stand-up comedian. And anyway, I don’t think anybody saw me during the several minutes it took to drag Dave to the passenger seat. I really wish I’d got round to buying a bigger car than the Fiat Punto I’d had since I was 18, but it was too late for that now.
There’s a place about an hour’s drive from me called Epping Forest. The Heritage Trust reckon it’s most famous for its huge tracts of unspoiled wildlife, thousands of trees, and Iron Age settlements. But around here it’s best known as the place where murderers and gang members bury bodies. So off I trundled in my 1.2 litre pensioner-mobile. I arrived around 9:30, checked Google Maps, and drove offroad into the woods.
Do you know how long it takes to dig a grave? The answer is: a long time! By dawn I’d only managed a hole about two feet. Oh, and it was my third try, because the first two times I found too much rock. Well, it would have to do. In went Dave, and I shovelled the ground back over him. I thought I could put my clothes in with him, but it was a shallow grave, and when the inevitable dog-walker finds it I didn’t want them linked back to me. I mean, there’s my DNA in there for sure, but let’s not make it too easy for them, right? So I chucked the spade in a river, and the clothes went back home with me, including the vest I’d lent him.
Now in England we have a thing called ANPR everywhere. The police can just type in a car registration and see exactly where it’s been from traffic cameras. I needed an alibi. Why had I gone to Epping Forest? For a hike of course! So I walked around for a few hours, got breakfast at a pub, and told the staff about all the wacky adventures I’d had that night. And while I was there, for the first time in a good long time, I checked my phone.
Hundreds of messages, of course. But only one sent a shiver down my spine.
Jolly_Gal_56234
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID
My heart thumped. My ears started ringing. I felt dizzy, nearly passed out. How could anybody know?
Of course nobody knew. I actually got messages like this fairly often. Just some idiot trying to wind people up. They’d probably sent a dozen messages just like it, to random people, and I just blocked her. Still it rattled me. I finished my breakfast, paid up, walked back to my car, and drove home.
My flat was just as I left it. Dave was gone, but his blood was still there. I scrubbed the floor for hours, and it helped a bit, but you could still see the stains. Exhausted, I showered and went to bed.
The next morning I woke up. I hadn’t posted anything for a day and a half, so I needed to do something about that. Scrolling through my messages, one stood out like a police light.
Jolly_Gal_28473
YOU’VE BEEN A BAD GIRL 🔪
Shit. SHIT! What the fuck is going on? I stared at my phone, paralysed with indecision. When I finally snapped out of it I made sure the door was locked, and tried to come up with a plan.
I had no idea who was sending these. Maybe they didn’t really know anything. You send stupid messages like that to hundreds of people, you’re gonna come across one who’s actually done something bad, right? I poured myself a big glass of gin, decided that nobody could know anything, and made a video.
Remember that one where I didn’t speak at all, just danced for three minutes dressed like 90s Britney to 70s disco music, titled “HANGOVER DANCE”? Yeah, that’s the one. I didn’t trust myself to speak without breaking, but I could dance about as well as I ever could.
The rest of the day I answered messages, emailed my sponsors, and considered getting an agent. It’s still just me doing everything, and that Sunday afternoon, I really didn’t want to. I also spent a few hours scrubbing the wooden floor with baking soda and vinegar, and looking for the knife.
I kept getting messages from Jolly_Gal. It didn’t matter how much I blocked her, she just popped up again the next day with different numbers at the end of her username. Always all-caps, just a single sentence.
YOU DON’T DESERVE IT
YOU’LL GET WHAT’S COMING TO YOU
OWN UP
DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT
Exactly one message a day, but always at different times. I decided it was a bot, and it was just coincidence that it started when it did. Until Christmas Day.
I’d been back at my parents’ for a few days, and endured the usual conversations about what I was going to do for a “proper job” after uni. They’re great, and really supportive. They’ve just never understood what an “influencer” really is, and that “playing on my phone” for six hours a day counts as work. My brother Rich gets it, but the rest of my family is honestly baffled.
Anyway, Christmas morning comes. All four of us were in the house together (my brother’s 17 so he still lives there), and we gathered together in the living room opening presents. It was a couple of weeks since the incident, and I still had nightmares every night, and those sudden panic attacks - you know, when you’re sure you’re going to be found out - but I was getting used to it. It had happened, I couldn’t change it, and I’d have to keep it secret for the rest of my life; but it was becoming a sort of background hum. I don’t know if that’s too quick, but I suppose I’ve learned to handle difficulty in my life.
Until we finished opening presents and I checked my phone.
Jolly_Gal_814385
HAPPY CHRISTMAS
And underneath, a photo of my kitchen knife, stained with blood.
I ran out of the house in tears.
Rich found me, sitting on the wooden bridge down the road from the house, my legs dangling over the river. I came here a lot when I was a teenager, so it was the first place he looked. I’d left my phone on the living room floor, and the three of them had seen the message, so he knew what triggered me. He just didn’t know the full story.
Well, I told him. I mean, not everything, obviously. But I told him how this person had been harassing me for weeks. He listened sympathetically, like he’s always done, and asked if there was anything he could do to help. I didn’t say anything; I just turned around, hugged him, and cried into his Christmas sweater.
After about half an hour we went back to the house. Rich explained things to my parents, thank goodness. I don’t think I could have handled it.
The rest of the holiday was … okay, I guess. More messages from Jolly_Gal, but only text. I made videos most days, and met all two of my old schoolfriends for drinks, movies and shopping. They’re big fans of my channels. I even took Rich out for drinks one evening, though it took us four pubs to find somewhere that wouldn’t ID him. He’s a bit of a babyface.
I did all I could not to think about Dave. I put him to the back of my mind, letting him live in the shed at the bottom of the garden of my psyche where he couldn’t disturb me. I guess that’s why it came as a shock to me, when I packed my stuff into the boot of my car to head back to uni.
There was one suitcase I’d packed but hadn’t got round to taking into the house. And peeking around the edge was that plastic bag. I’d forgotten to get rid of it!
Dad was helping me load the car, so I couldn’t do anything about it. I tucked it out of sight, finished loading up, said goodbye, and drove back to uni. It was dark when I got back, so I unpacked everything else, triple-bagged my bloody clothes, left my phone at home (no tracking me!), and walked two miles to drop them into somebody else’s wheelie bin.
The next morning I checked my messages.
Jolly_Gal_12592
WELCOME HOME
And a photo of me dumping the bag the night before.
You know what? This didn’t bother me. I mean, it did bother me, but not as much as I guess Jolly_Gal hoped. I’ve been bullied and harassed most of my life, and I’ve got pretty good at ignoring it. Sure, it was an escalation - she was actually following me - but it was just one of almost thirty messages. Jolly_Gal was hoping to destroy me. Instead, she hardened my resolve.
Clearly she had enough evidence to go to the police, but she hadn’t. And obviously she lived nearby. Now I’m no hacker, but you don’t do a job like mine without learning your way around technology. So I started sleuthing. I hadn’t bothered blocking her after the third or fourth message, so I made a list of all the messages, including timecodes. I’ve got a geology degree (almost), and we have techniques to analyse rock strata. Finally I had a genuine use for all that studying I sort of did!
Jolly_Gal was not as clever as she thought. She’d got sloppy. About half of her messages were sent at strange hours, on the hour. These were presumably posted by her bot. But the other messages were all sent between 7 and 8 am, or between 6 and 10 pm. So I guessed that she has a normal 9-5 day job, or maybe she’s a student.
Next I searched all the social media sites I could think of for Jolly_Gal or JollyGal usernames. There are a few, so please don’t go harassing people with that username! I don’t want innocent people to get hurt. After a few hours I had profiles of all Jolly_Gals. Pictures, locations, partial travel history, even birthdays for some of them. I discounted those who clearly weren’t in England, but I still had too many to narrow it down. The photos had no EXIF data so I couldn’t tell the type of phone or camera they used.
So my days became something like this: Five hours doing uni stuff, five hours working on my socials, and an hour or two learning digital sleuthing. I still went out with my friends sometimes, but made sure not to drink too much. I know how to have a good time without being drunk!
The breakthrough came by total chance. I rarely read the local papers, and just got lucky one afternoon in March. I was waiting for a friend in the pub after lectures, and there was a copy of the Post somebody had left on a table. So I flicked through it. The local council was rubbish at doing traffic. Some group of OAPS was organising a May Day celebration. And a woman had been convicted of body-snatching.
I recognised her! There was a photo of a woman in her early twenties. She’d been arrested when a corpse went missing back in December, and they’d seen her take it on the morgue’s CCTV. She’d been released on bail. “Prevention of the lawful and decent burial of a dead body” is a rare crime these days, so she hadn’t been sentenced yet; instead she was released until her sentencing, expected to be in August. Her name was Jenny Smith, which is so common as to be almost useless - that is, if you don’t have a profile of her on your laptop at home!
The report also gave her address. So I started hatching a plan. I texted my friend that I wouldn’t make it, and went home.
Jolly_Gal, or rather, Jenny, lived near me, and actually went to the same university. She had accounts on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Twitter, and a few others. Of course you can’t get Jolly_Gal by itself these days, but my profile gave all her precise usernames. I spent my evening watching her videos and reading her tweets. And then I found the smoking gun.
Jenny had posted a video on TikTok last June bitching about me. She’s way prettier than me, and yet I’d got all the subs and follows. She deserved all those sponsorship deals. It wasn’t fair that I had hundreds of thousands of subs and she only had a few thousand. She even said I was ugly and deserved to die.
Well, she got one out of two right, I guess. You can decide which one.
It all started to slot into place. Jenny was absurdly jealous of me, so she’d hatched a plan to destroy me. She must have roofied me in The Bar, got me and Dave back to my place, stabbed him, poured blood everywhere, and taken the knife home. I mean, I don’t know anything about forensic science, and I was drugged and panicked when I woke up that morning. I’d have no way of knowing that Dave had died days before he ended up in my flat!
I’d never managed to get all the blood out of the wooden flooring, and ended up putting a really misplaced rug over it. I chiselled off a sample and gave it to one of my friends who was doing a PhD in biology. It took a bit of persuading, but he ran an analysis on it.
It was pig’s blood.
Fuck Jenny. She’s not Jenny, or Jolly_Gal, she’s fucking Carrie!
She planned to destroy me. She ruined my mental health, she framed me for murder. All because I was more popular on TikTok than she was. Well, two can play at that game. I didn’t deserve what Jenny did to me. She did.
I thought about this all night, coming up with plan after plan, weighing them in my head. I wanted two things: to destroy Jenny, and to feel good about it for myself. Finally I had a course of action I’m actually rather proud of.
I decided to start slow. I did something anybody could have done - I mocked up a poster. At the top was “Jenny Smith - body snatcher!”. Underneath were two pictures, her Insta profile pic and the courthouse photo from the paper, and between them: “From This … To This!” And all her various social media handles to top it off. I printed hundreds of these, and pinned them all around the university and her street.
I’ve never thought of myself as an unkind person - God knows I’ve suffered enough myself to be sympathetic to others. But I’m willing to admit I felt a lot of satisfaction seeing her comments fill up with accusations and links to the online article. Jenny carried on making videos, but I could tell she was suffering. Good!
That was stage one. I had to up the ante for stage two. Jenny had covered me and my flat with pig’s blood, so I think we all know what’s coming next.
I pondered for a long time whether I should do it in the day or the night. But you know what they say - go big or go home. I scoped out her house for a while, and found out that she leaves her kitchen window, at the back of the house, open. Now I’m not the most athletic girl in the world, but I can be pretty determined when I want to be. So one night around 2 am I walked to her house - it’s only about half a mile - and climbed through the window.
I almost gave myself a heart attack when I knocked a glass over on the kitchen sink! Luckily it didn’t smash. I hid in a corner and waited for a full half hour before I decided Jenny hadn’t heard me. Then I snuck upstairs, slow as anything, and crept into her room.
Actually, the first room wasn’t hers. She shared with a couple of other students. Thank fuck I checked first! The second room was the right one. She was asleep, alone, in a double bed. I was so quiet that the only thing I could hear was my heart pounding in my chest as I opened my canvas bag, gently deposited its contents onto the pillow next to her, and took a photo. It didn’t come out that well - I couldn’t use the flash - but hey, I have a souvenir!
I really wish I’d seen her face when she woke up the next morning, staring at a pig’s head. She didn’t post on her socials for a week after that, and for two days she even forgot to send me a threatening message.
I’m sorry? You think I’m done? Oh, my sweet summer child. I’ve barely begun.
Jenny had a boyfriend, Abdul. I made sure he wasn’t around when I broke in, but stage three involved him in a big way.
Abdul was also at our university, a year younger than me, a year older than Jenny. He wasn’t very active on social media, but he did tend to broadcast his activity on Twitter. And what do you know? He’s also a fan of The Bar. So I spent the next month planning my move. I bought a new clubbing dress and heels - hey, I kinda missed that outfit! - and asked around for the other thing I needed. Some things you can’t just buy in Next, or a local butcher’s, but eventually I managed it.
I got my chance one Friday in May. Abdul had loudly announced on Twitter that he was excited for his boys’ night out in The Bar, and Jenny had been gushing about a girls’ night on the whole other side of town. Perfect. I spent hours on my makeup, and got to The Bar around ten. Abdul and his mates were having a drinking contest, and leching up at the girls dancing on the tables.
I figured I had a good long while before he would be ready, so I had a couple of drinks - not too much, but like I said I can handle myself, and I knew Jenny wasn’t around - and got up on the tables myself for a bit. Then about midnight Abdul’s friend got another round in, while Abdul was in the loo. This was my chance. I walked up to their table - which had no dancing feet on it, but a heck of a lot of spilled beer - and started talking to them, saying I thought their friend was hot.
“Uh, what the fuck?” “Not a chance in hell.” “Get lost, freak!”
Lovely chaps. But they were too far gone to notice me dropping something into Abdul’s double-whiskey-and-coke. For all I know, it’s the exact same thing Jenny used on me all those months ago.
Abdul came back and downed his whiskey in one gulp. I was worried he was going to vomit it up, but he held it in and blamed his difficulty on the coke fizz. Yeah mate, sure, sure.
Not too long after, he started to fade. His friends were really taking the piss out of him for being such a lightweight. Well, when I came over, the pisstaking just got worse. I introduced myself (with a fake name, duh) and told him he was hot. Believe it or not, it was only about twenty seconds before he put his tongue down my throat. Wow, I’m not sure I even needed to bother with the roofie!
His friends, who had been so intent on being mean to me, now turned their attention to him. I suggested we ditch them and go back to his place (I’d checked, it was only five minutes’ walk sober) - and off we went.
That was the first time I had sex. I’m sure I don’t need to go into details, but we did a lot of stuff, and I enjoyed it. I’m not sure if that’s because it was good, or because he was good, or because I knew what it was all for. I was impressed that he managed to keep going as long as he did in his state, but I do feel a bit sorry for him; from his Twitter he seems like a decent guy.
When he finally fell asleep I left. I’d got what I came for - pictures. And the next day I made a new account and sent a DM to Jenny.
At first I blurred my face, or chose shots that didn’t include it. A bit of editing and I could have been anybody. I watched their messy breakup on Twitter, Jenny hurling accusations, Abdul protesting his innocence. I know this is the age of social media, but I never understood why people play these things out in public.
And then, after posting a picture a day for a few weeks (I’d taken a lot of pictures), I sent one that showed my face clearly.
Jenny had managed to restrain herself from replying before, but now she knew who I was. She was furious! The very idea that her boyfriend had cheated on her with ME, of all people, was unbelievable. And this was exactly the outcome I’d been going for.
Jolly_Gal was broken. She’d ruined her reputation. She’d lost her boyfriend. She had nightmares about pigs (okay, so I don’t know that for certain, but in my imagination she woke up screaming every night). She was possibly going to prison. And now she knew that not only was I more successful than her as an influencer, but I was the one to steal her lover. She still sent messages, at first angry, but they soon degenerated into pleading. “Please stop.” “I’m sorry.” “We can work this out.” Jolly_Gal without CAPS LOCK, it was glorious to see.
In fact it was almost perfect. Three stages of my plan were complete, and only one remained. Jenny’s sentencing was in three weeks, so I had to move quickly.
She had two flatmates, so I needed to work around them. They weren’t particularly active on Twitter, but Jenny was. I knew from her tweets that while her flatmates had gone home, she was staying on a couple of weeks after the end of term. She didn’t say why publicly, but it was for her trial. No flatmates, no boyfriend. Now was the time.
And that brings us up to date. I’ve typed this up over the last few days, and saved as a draft. The final chapter, hopefully, comes tonight.
*******
I’m at Jenny’s house, and I’ve just called the police.
I turned up at Jenny’s door just after seven. Luck was with me - she’d tweeted that she was expecting a Deliveroo takeout. And I got there first.
The idiot actually kept the knife. I’d seen it when I was in her room. When she answered the doorbell, expecting food, and saw me - ah, the look on her face was priceless.
“I’m so sorry! Please, let’s just talk. I didn’t mean it to get this -”
I stalked towards her, anger in my face. Jenny fled upstairs. Perfect! She went into her room and shut the door, but I was like the furies of Greek legend. I smashed the door in, and looked on as Jenny cowered on her bed.
In full daylight, I saw the knife took pride of place in what looked like a shrine. She had photos of me printed out, and she’d written on them “BITCH”, “WHORE”, “FREAK” and all sorts of other hateful words.
Jenny had tried to make me into a murderer, so I gave her what she wanted. I grabbed the knife and stood over her. The coward shrank into the bed, begging for forgiveness, pleading for her life. Unfortunately for her I was not inclined to oblige. I plunged the knife into her chest, just as she had done to Dave all those many months ago. Jenny whimpered like a whipped dog, and after the ninth stab (yes, I counted), she stopped.
The police are on their way. I’m definitely going to jail after this. But Jenny got what was coming to her. We could both have lived happily, but Jenny chose otherwise.
And me? I passed my degree. I have friends. And jail or not, I have a life.
Burn in hell, Jolly_Gal.

Amidst speculation about MS Dhoni's fitness and his batting position in the Chennai Super Kings lineup, coach Stephen Fleming clarified that Dhoni's lower batting position is a strategic move to manage his workload and prevent any risk of injury. Fleming emphasized that Dhoni's role is crucial in the team, particularly in the final overs, where he can make a significant impact with his aggressive batting and exceptional wicketkeeping skills.
Responding to criticism from Harbhajan Singh, who suggested that CSK should prioritize including a bowler instead of Dhoni at number nine, Fleming reiterated that Dhoni's workload management is a priority for the team. He explained that Dhoni's recovery from knee surgery necessitated careful management of his workload to ensure his long-term fitness and availability.
Fleming also dismissed any speculation about Dhoni nursing an injury, affirming that Dhoni is fit to play and contribute effectively in his designated role. He emphasized Dhoni's importance in providing tactical advice to the team's new captain and his ability to perform under pressure in crucial moments of the game.
Meanwhile, Gujarat Titans expressed dissatisfaction over what they perceived as preferential treatment towards Chennai Super Kings during practice sessions at the Narendra Modi Stadium. They raised concerns about CSK being allowed to practice range hitting from the center of the ground, contrary to IPL guidelines, which permit range hitting only on the eve of the match.
According to IPL practice session guidelines, range hitting is restricted to the day before each match, with specific conditions for its conduct. Despite objections raised by Gujarat Titans management, a Gujarat Cricket Association official stated that similar privileges were extended to other teams, including GT players like Shubman Gill.
In summary, CSK's decision to manage Dhoni's workload, coupled with concerns raised by other teams regarding fair practice session regulations, underscores the intricacies and challenges of maintaining balance and fairness in the IPL. As the tournament progresses, teams like CSK and GT will continue to adapt and strategize, aiming for success in the highly competitive cricketing arena.
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Recap- Fledgling fighter Serenity Steelheart has recently taken up a job to help the dwarf, Gundren Rockseeker, take a shipment of mining supplies to the frontier town of Phandalin. This simple mission was derailed when Serenity discovered that Gundren and his escort, Sildar Halwinter, had been captured in the wake of a failed goblin ambush. Now Serenity has formed a temporary alliance with one of her former assailants in order to save Sildar and stop the goblin’s leader, Klarg.
Story- The mouth of Cragmaw cave resembled the gaping maw of an undead beast, complete with a smell of decay. Stepping into this foreboding structure revealed its interior to be as unpleasant as one might expect, the floors were slick, the air pungent, and the dark all consuming. More than any of these things, what distracted Serenity the most was the persistent sound of running water, the way it crashed and pooled all throughout the cave made it difficult to hear anything else, any sounds that may exist beyond one’s immediate surrounding were completely imperceivable. As Serenity sloshed through the knee-high water her eyes were drawn to Beatrix, the water was past the goblin’s hip yet she moved through it with a practiced ease. As the Serenity’s eyes began to fail her she held up one of her blades and uttered a short incantation, causing the weapon to shine like a torch.
“What the hells are you doing!?” Beatrix hissed as she scurried back into the darkness.
“I can’t see in the dark, Beatrix.” Serenity said, her glowing sword cutting through the darkness.
“We’re outnumbered and you’re giving away your position!” Beatrix said as she caught a glimpse of red eyes looking down on them from the darkness. “Damnit! Grab onto something, quick!”
Beatrix dashed into the darkness before Serenity could respond, leaving the fighter bewildered. She pointed her weapon forward, finding her companion hunkered down in a relatively dry offshoot of the cave. As Serenity took a step towards her she was confused by the faint sounds of chains and whimpering coming from that direction. Bea had mentioned the goblins having wolves previously, could this be where they were housed? The answer to this question would have to wait as a more pressing one came into Serenity’s mind, ‘why is the water getting louder?’
A surge of water ripped through the cave and crashed into Serenity. The deluge seemed to move with malice, throwing the fighter into every wall and sharp rock in the cave before finally depositing her in the stream outside. Serenity fought to her feet and cursed under her breath before charging back into Cragmaw Hideout.
(DC 15 Strength save rolled 8 +1, Failed taking 6 damage and being pushed out of the dungeon. Serenity then used a charge of Second Wind recovering to full HP.)
Serenity stopped by the wolf's den and scanned the cave before her, spotting the goblin lookout on a shabby bridge. She noticed him looking further back into the cave and shouting something out. Not eager to take another dip, Serenity used a cantrip to set fire to the goblin’s bridge. The lookout avoided the flames only to lose his footing anyway as the catwalk fell out from under him. As the roar of running water sounded again Serenity ran to Beatrix, letting the lookout be swept away by his own trap. Celebrations were exceedingly short as Serenity’s attention was stolen by a near feral wolf lunging at her.
(DC 12 Dexterity Saving throw against Create Bonfire, rolled 16 +2, Succeeded)
(DC 10 Dexterity Saving Throw to hold onto the bridge, rolled 11 +2, Succeeded)
(DC 15 Strength Saving Throw to resist the torrent, rolled 12 -1, Failed taking 6 damage and being pushed out of the dungeon.)
The beast’s jaws snapped closed inches from Serenity’s face as it was yanked backward by a crude chain. The wolf whimpered and growled as Beatrix pushed herself between it and the fighter. Serenity backed away slowly as Beatrix shouted commands at the wolf in the goblin tongue. Just as Serenity started to catch her breath Beatrix turned and started yelling at her too, “What do you think you’re doing Serenity?! You’re charging blindly into danger, starting fights, and taking stupid risks! You’re supposed to be smarter than this!”
“I, what?” Serenity stammered.
“You beat four to one odds by using your brain, why are you being stupid now!? Do you even have a plan?!” Beatrix yelled as she held the snarling wolf in place.
“I’m just trying to survive here. I’ve never done anything like this before.”
“Well if you don’t learn fast you’re gonna die fast!” Beatrix’s wolf pushed past her and snapped at Serenity again as the goblin tried in vain to hold onto its chain. “Urgh- Here’s your first test! Don't die!”
Serenity took another step back and reached for her weapon as she surveyed the cave. The wolves here were skinny and surrounded by refuse. They’re starving and scared, not angry. Without another moment’s hesitation Serenity dropped her swords and reached into her backpack, throwing a full week worth of rations into the cave before her. The wolves didn’t wait for an invitation, within seconds they were climbing over each other desperately tearing into their meal. After a few more moments Serenity cautiously approached the wolves who eyed her with curiosity. Finally, she let the wolves smell her hands and the beasts seemed to let their guards down.
(Animal Handling check lowered to DC10 because Serenity fed the wolves, rolled 12 +2, passed.)
Beatrix let out a sigh of relief, “See, that’s the kind of thing I saw in you before. A smart fighter is more valuable than three dumb ones.”
Serenity sat and started to pet one of the wolves. “You asked if I had a plan a moment ago. That got me wondering, what’s yours? You really think I can get the drop on your boss?”
“Oh, yeah no. You’re pretty strong but Klarg could pull the horns off of a bull. He’s on another level.” Beatrix laughed.
“And you want me to fight him!?”
“Yeah, just not now.” Beatrix said, “There are other goblins here who hate Klarg even more than I do. The only one who matters though is Yeemik, if we can get him on our side then we’ve got a fighting chance.”
Serenity cocked an eyebrow. “So this Yeemik is stronger than you then?”
Beatrix snickered as she watched one of the wolves continue to chew on an empty container. “He is but that’s not why he matters. There are other goblins who’re loyal to him, if he joins the fight they will too. With your blades, my arrows, and their soft bodies to absorb Klarg’s attacks, we can do this!”
“And you really think this Yeemik will help us?”
“He wouldn’t normally, he’s a total coward, but if he thinks you have a fighting chance then he’ll want to tag along to take credit for the win.”
“And then we kite Klarg into Veemick’s forces to alleviate pressure on ourselves.”
“Exactly! Now you’re thinking like a goblin!” Beatrix let out a triumphant cackle.
“Have I ever told you you’re demented?” Serenity said, crossing her arms as she considered the plan.
“I prefer the word strategic!” Bea said with a satisfied smile.
Mistakes- Beatrix is familiar with Cragmaw Hideout, she should have scouted ahead and taken out the lookout so Serenity could get through somewhat safely. I misread the bridge’s stats, it has 5AC and 10 HP which I reversed. With that in mind a Create Bonfire couldn’t possibly do enough damage to destroy the bridge in a single casting at this level. I forgot to give Serenity 75 experience points when she found Cragmaw Hideout, this resulted in her leveling up a bit later than she should have.
Notes- I was Initially excited to use Serenity’s Familiar to make up for her lack of Darkvision, interestingly the OD&D playtest Familiar isn’t actually very good at that anymore since Remote Viewing costs an action and only lasts a single turn. Serenity actually saved against the first use of the water trap, she rolled an 18 and initiated combat with the lookout. After the bridge fell, they both failed the subsequent saving throw against the trap and were forced out together. In the narration I changed it so that each use of the water trap was impactful, this also makes Serenity look a little bit smarter. Finally, Serenity initially went into the wolf den much later. In the home game she went straight from her skirmish with the lookout to room 6 since she wanted to take the high ground in case of any more water traps.
Final Thoughts- How do you feel about rearranging events in the name of story flow? I didn’t clear out the dungeon in a totally linier way so moving things around is meant, largely, to avoid repeating myself when Serenity backtracks or does something inconsequential. That being said, I can absolutely see some people not appreciating creative liberties being taken in something that’s meant to be a retelling of a real game. Hopefully, me being transparent and pointing out where and why I changed things can be a good middle ground.

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