Anniversary cards poems boyfriend
My boyfriend asked me “what’s wrong” and got upset when I told him?
2024.05.19 13:08 Regular-Sound2008 My boyfriend asked me “what’s wrong” and got upset when I told him?
So I have ADHD, and if any of yall have it yk it makes it hard to remember things. Well me(F20) and my boyfriend (M20)were talking about how he needs to goto a doctor and a dentist but doesn’t have coverage atm.
Hes part of a youth group kinda thing where he was a social worker kinda person that essentially just helps him out with this kinda stuff. Well he said that he needs to talk to them but has to wait till Tuesday because they don’t answer on weekends. Well I forgot it’s long weekend so I said “well what about tomorrow? Tomorrow is Monday?” To which he replied “Long weekend dumby, Said that before you left, I told you, This just proves you don’t listen to me lol”. Which made me upset a little bit. I saw him probably a week ago and apparently he told me it was long weekend this weekend but I genuinely can’t remember. But that’s whatever.
Anyways I told him “that’s not true, I can’t help that I forget stuff easily” (literally the other day at work about 5 times I was holding my pen panicking searching my pockets looking for it.. with said pen in hand) and we were also talking about upcoming things we need to pay for.. so he said “Might not be able to help with (his sister’s baby shower) since I gotta pay for a bunch of shit now” So I just said “ok” because I was upset. So he asked me what was wrong so I told him “Just makes me feel bad when you said I don’t listen to you.. like I try my best, I’m sorry I forget stuff easy but I can’t help it. It’s just part of my adhd. I just idk. I get it can be frustrating but I’m trying my best here” To which he responded with “It’s everything all the time, But when I forget something it’s a huge deal and I’m being an assholr, See the double standard here” Sometimes I joke and asked when my birthday is or our anniversary and the first couple times when we newly started dating I got a little upset, but now he jokes he forgets and I joke I’m upset.. so I’m honestly not sure about this “double standard” he’s talking about. Well I told him “I’m trying my best” and the other day I forgot he had a doctors appointment he told me at the beginning of the month so when he reminded me after I said he didn’t tell me I said “oh you’re right you did tell me, my bad” and took accountability, which I’ve been trying to do to better our relationship. Which I told him and he just said “whatever” so I texted him “I don’t appreciate how you asked me what’s wrong and got mad at me. So I definitely will be staying home for another week. When Frankie runs out of food let me know we’ll bring it over.” (Frankie’s our cat and I bought him a new bag of food because he was almost out).
I just need to know did I do something wrong? I copy and pasted all the texts. So everything is word for word. Please ant advice is wanted/appreciated. I don’t know if it’s useful but we’ve been together for 2 years now. Thanks anyone who takes the time to read this and helps:)
submitted by Regular-Sound2008 to Advice [link] [comments]
Hes part of a youth group kinda thing where he was a social worker kinda person that essentially just helps him out with this kinda stuff. Well he said that he needs to talk to them but has to wait till Tuesday because they don’t answer on weekends. Well I forgot it’s long weekend so I said “well what about tomorrow? Tomorrow is Monday?” To which he replied “Long weekend dumby, Said that before you left, I told you, This just proves you don’t listen to me lol”. Which made me upset a little bit. I saw him probably a week ago and apparently he told me it was long weekend this weekend but I genuinely can’t remember. But that’s whatever.
Anyways I told him “that’s not true, I can’t help that I forget stuff easily” (literally the other day at work about 5 times I was holding my pen panicking searching my pockets looking for it.. with said pen in hand) and we were also talking about upcoming things we need to pay for.. so he said “Might not be able to help with (his sister’s baby shower) since I gotta pay for a bunch of shit now” So I just said “ok” because I was upset. So he asked me what was wrong so I told him “Just makes me feel bad when you said I don’t listen to you.. like I try my best, I’m sorry I forget stuff easy but I can’t help it. It’s just part of my adhd. I just idk. I get it can be frustrating but I’m trying my best here” To which he responded with “It’s everything all the time, But when I forget something it’s a huge deal and I’m being an assholr, See the double standard here” Sometimes I joke and asked when my birthday is or our anniversary and the first couple times when we newly started dating I got a little upset, but now he jokes he forgets and I joke I’m upset.. so I’m honestly not sure about this “double standard” he’s talking about. Well I told him “I’m trying my best” and the other day I forgot he had a doctors appointment he told me at the beginning of the month so when he reminded me after I said he didn’t tell me I said “oh you’re right you did tell me, my bad” and took accountability, which I’ve been trying to do to better our relationship. Which I told him and he just said “whatever” so I texted him “I don’t appreciate how you asked me what’s wrong and got mad at me. So I definitely will be staying home for another week. When Frankie runs out of food let me know we’ll bring it over.” (Frankie’s our cat and I bought him a new bag of food because he was almost out).
I just need to know did I do something wrong? I copy and pasted all the texts. So everything is word for word. Please ant advice is wanted/appreciated. I don’t know if it’s useful but we’ve been together for 2 years now. Thanks anyone who takes the time to read this and helps:)
2024.05.19 12:57 Logical_Act_6927 My boyfriend makes me paranoid and I don’t know what to do
TLDR: My boyfriend is amazing, but has depression which makes him constantly upset and irritated with me, making me extremely paranoid and on edge with everything I say because i’m scared he’ll get upset. He keeps saying he’d change, but goes back to how he was, but he is now seemingly making more of an effort to change by changing his medication and going to therapy. I still feel very paranoid and anxious with him even though he is doing better, but i’m worried that in the process of him getting fully better, he’ll go back to how he was, and I don’t know how much more of it I can take. He is an amazing man and I love him so much, but I’m worried I will always feel on edge when I’m with him. Any advice?
Hi! A little backstory, my boyfriend (19M) suffers from depression, and has always taken medication for it since he was younger. Right before we met, he had taken a gap year to focus on his mental health, and got to a point where he went off his medication because he didn’t like how it made him feel (zombie-like). We first met (we technically already knew each other but that’s besides the point)around 4-5 months before he would’ve started college again, and got together around 2 months into being friends. As school came around, he became really scared that he would have to take another gap semesteyear, because even though getting off his medication helped to an extent, he was still struggling with dealing with his mental health. At the same time, he was worried about getting on medication because he told me that he experiences and adjustment period for the first 6 weeks that causes him to become irritable and agitated very easily and have increased suicidal ideation, but even after the adjustment period, irritability would still be a side effect that he had to deal with and manage.
Eventually, when school started, his mental health did become worse, so he decided to get on medication again, and he did go through an adjustment period. It was a struggle- it was hard seeing him very sad and depressed all the time, and I always tried to help him as best as I could- offering to help him get ready in the morning/drive him to school if he couldn’t get out of bed, helping him with assignments, etc.
At the same time, he definitely became constantly agitated with me. If I didn’t hear him say something and asked him to repeat it (although this was also an issue before he started the medication, but i feel like it got more pronounced), he would basically get very clearly annoyed and quiet, barely talking to me or shutting me down with one word responses. If i didn’t text him for a couple of hours (i have adhd and will sometimes forget to text, which i know is reasonable to be upset about, but he would also do the same thing when playing games with friends), or talked just a bit too much (another adhd symptom, which again i understand can get annoying because i can sometimes go on for VERY long), or if i forget something (an item, memory, or something he told me before), or if we have a recurring joke but for some reason just didn’t like it that day, or if i called him on the phone unprompted (which he does to me too, so i didn’t know that was something i couldn’t do) or if i just say any normal thing but for some reason he just didn’t like it that day, i would be met with irritation, passive aggressiveness, and the silent treatment. I would’ve been slightly more okay with it if it was just a few minutes and then he was back to normal, but he would continue like this for HOURS. If we started talking in the evening, and i said something that slightly annoyed him, it was basically a guarantee that he would be essentially silent for the rest of the night. Not only that, but this happened almost every single day.
I’d like to note that he never expressed his irritation in an angry way, or yelled/said harmful things about me/did anything physical, he would just become very quiet, and anything he did say was very clearly in an irritated voice, as well as passive aggressive remarks.
Eventually, I talked about this with him. When i did, i basically completely forgot that his medication was a reason for a lot of what was happening, so when i talked to him about it, I didn’t mention medication at all. He told me that his medication caused a lot of his agitation and at first accused me of not believing that his medication caused side effects/not taking them seriously, but eventually apologized and said that it wasn’t an excuse and that he’d do better, but also said that sometimes i misinterpreted him as upset when he really wasn’t (which tbh i don’t believe, because sometimes if i pointed something out that he did, he’d say he wasn’t upset or annoyed at all, but a day or two later, tell me he was irritated with me).
He did do better for a bit, but after around a month it basically went to the same way it was before. This went on for a few months, I continued to have conversations with him, he continued to tell me he’d do better, and he would be a bit until he wasn’t. To be fair, after the 6 week adjustment period was over, he still was not doing well at all for about another month, and so he increased his medication dose, which made him have another adjustment period, and he did tell me that his biggest concern was how he’d treat me during that time, so I decided to keep being patient until he got his medication under control.
Fast forward a couple of months, and I was seeing improvements- until about 2 months ago. We saw each other a lot more often; before this time, we’d usually see each other 1-2 times a week and we’d have some sleepovers, but in those two months, i’d stay over at his house for 3-5 days a week. During this time, his irritation got way worse. He definitely valued his independence, but would continuously ask me to stay over, it wasn’t like I urged him to let me stay over. Here are some examples of things that happened:
A few days later, a similar thing happened, but not to that extent. My boyfriend just got his license and offered to pick me up from one of my exams. I told him I wasn’t sure how long the exam would be, and didn’t want to let him know yet because it could’ve taken very long. I was right- it was supposed to be from 12-3, but I ended up starting later end ending around 6:30. I texted him after I finished, but he told me he wished I would’ve let him know earlier because he wasn’t comfortable driving in the dark yet, which is reasonable. He became very quiet and upset again though, and again, anytime I made conversation, he would shut it down and be really upset. I also told him that I had to move out of my dorm, and so he didn’t have to come if he didn’t want to because it would’ve been a lot of things to haul out. He said that it was okay and that he wanted to see me, and so he came over. When he did, he got upset again because we fooled around for an hour or two instead packing everything up (which he initiated), and then as we started pskcking, he became mean and frustrated again. He kept saying that he just didn’t expect to be moving me out, and that he just wanted to pick me up and go home, even though so told him before that that’s what was going to happen. After everything was packed up and we were in the car, he was still silent and upset but a bit less so. I felt really bad and became quiet, and he told me and i quote: “i’m feeling really anxious to drive this car at night, so can you just act normal”, which felt weird for him to say because I was only acting like that because of he as acting mean. I wanted to get home though because it was pretty late, so I just played some music and acted like my normal self, and that made me feel a bit better. When we got home, he apologized again, and thanked me for being patient with him, and that he’d be getting help soon.
After that, he did become a lot nicer to me. There were things I’ve said which I was sure he was going to get upset over, but he just didn’t at all. Usually, even after he’d apologize other times, he would still get a bit upset with me, but it’d only last a few minutes before he became normal again. This time, he wasn’t upset at all even for the things he’d most commonly get upset about (like me not hearing what he said for example). Hes been this way for around 2 weeks, and had not been getting upset at all, and he said he’s getting therapy soon.
The problem now is, especially because of the last two incidents, I still feel extremely anxious and paranoid when I’m with him. I am constantly on edge because I’m worried I’ll say the wrong thing when I’m with him, and it’ll be just like how it has been for the past almost one year.
Looking back at what i just wrote, these instances don’t really seem like that big of a deal, especially compared to how some other people are treated on this subreddit. I think what makes me upset is just how often it happens and how it completely messes up our entire day because he’s just upset the entire time. In the past 3-4 months, I don’t think we’ve ever had a call/hangout where he upset for at least 1-2 hours. I think another thing that really hurts me is that he just acts completely different around me vs anyone else. A lot of the times when I call him, he will get so upset and annoyed so quickly for menial things. He plays games for hours a day, so sometimes when we’re facetime and he wants to play with some friends, he’ll set his camera up so I can watch him play while i do other things, kind of like a youtube video. Whenever we’re on call and he’s upset, and then tells me he wants to play and sets his camera up, his mood instantly changes. His face literally brightens up, and he seems so much happier and talkative. I will sometimes hear his friends on the other end, and they will say/do the exact same things that he gets annoyed at me with, and it just is not a big deal at all, he doesn’t even seem to notice that it happened. Same with my friends- One day, we were planning a trip to the beach, and were supposed to leave around 12 PM. When he came home, he became upset and quiet with me again, and I kept asking him what was wrong and if we’re still going on our trip, but he just ignored me. Finally, at around 6 PM, he was normal again, and then took another hour and a half to get ready, so we ended up leaving at 7:30 PM. My friend was texting me at the same time, so I told my boyfriend to talk to her while I was driving. As we were driving (we were around 15 minutes away at this point), I realized I forgot my license. I asked him if I should turn around, he kept telling me he wasn’t sure, and he was just very upset and annoyed with me, even though judt before we left a whole 7 hours later because he was upset. We drove for an hour before he decided that I should drive back, and I kept apologizing for forgetting my license, and that we could try again tomorrow morning. His mom told us we could go to dinner or something to make up for the day, and I asked him if he wanted to do that, and he just said “why would we do that what would we even eat” in a harsh tone. Again, I tried to keep it light, telling him that I was sorry and we could start fresh tomorrow, and he said that he didn’t want to go to the beach anymore in an upset tone. Again, for half of the night after we came home, he was upset and irritated with me. Later that night, I looked back at. the texts between my friend and boyfriend, and I was in shock with just how different he was acting with me in real life vs how he was acting with her. As he was upset with me, he was texting her with updates, making jokes, and basically just making it seem like it wasn’t a big deal at all that I didn’t have my license. In real life, he acted like I was so stupid for forgetting it, and that it was the worst thing I could’ve possibly done.
I feel like most people who read this might just think he values his independence, and that aim too clingy. I too thought that maybe I just wasn’t giving him his space, especially because I’m his first girlfriend. I will not offer to call/come over as much just to see if I’m the one asking too often and he feels too bad to say no, but when I don’t, he will keep asking me to call him and come over, and ask why I haven’t been talking to him as much/initiates calls or hangouts. He’ll tell me to call more often and hang out with him more often as well. If we hang out, I’ll tell him that I’ll go home for the night and don’t plan on sleeping over, and he’ll keep asking me if I could sleep over or when I could sleep over, and continue to make plans.
Despite what I’ve said, my boyfriend is genuinely the most amazing guy anyone could ever meet. He’s sweet, kind, and thoughtful with genuinely everyone- his parents, my friends, his friends, his professors, everyone. He is an amazing tipper, he goes out of his way to do things for my friends, and anytime i mention the slightest thing he’ll go out of his way to do it for me. For example, in the first month we met, he noticed my backpack and headphones were completely broken, so he bought me a new ones without me saying absolutely anything to him. When I drove him places, he saw that it was difficult for me to look at my phone to follow GPS directions, so he randomly bought me a car phone holder. On my birthday, he made me a card out of the acknowledgement page of the first book we read together, crossed out the authors name, and put my name, and wrote a bunch of sweet, adorable things about me. Because of my adhd, I would constantly forget to chargemy phone/laptop or bring my chargers, and would constantly have no charge on both, so he bought me a pack with 10 of each type of charger, as well as a portable charger. I offhandedly mentioned that I get really carsick, so he bought me dramamine and those carsickness goggles. He bought pads to keep with him just in case I need some, and always carries pepto and advil around because i get headaches a lot and have lots of stomachaches. He helped me move into my dorm, and bought me so many food and supplies even when I insisted that he didn’t. Whenever we go out with my friends, he always covers everything. For my friend’s birthday, everyone was going to chip in to buy her airpods, but he told them he’d cover their part and essentially just bought them for her. He is an insanely hard worker, and I am so proud of him for everything that he’s been through, and he is also just the most fun person to be around. I love him so so much, and I know that a lot of the way he’s acted is because of his depression, and I know that that’s not really him. I visited him yesterday and we had a really good time, but the entire time I kept being really careful with what I said because I was scared of him becoming upset. I’m scared that this anxiety I feel around him will last forever. I want to wait until he has everything under control, but if he becomes the same way that he was before again, I don’t know how much of it I can take. I don’t know what to do or where to go from here- can anyone help me?
submitted by Logical_Act_6927 to Advice [link] [comments]
Hi! A little backstory, my boyfriend (19M) suffers from depression, and has always taken medication for it since he was younger. Right before we met, he had taken a gap year to focus on his mental health, and got to a point where he went off his medication because he didn’t like how it made him feel (zombie-like). We first met (we technically already knew each other but that’s besides the point)around 4-5 months before he would’ve started college again, and got together around 2 months into being friends. As school came around, he became really scared that he would have to take another gap semesteyear, because even though getting off his medication helped to an extent, he was still struggling with dealing with his mental health. At the same time, he was worried about getting on medication because he told me that he experiences and adjustment period for the first 6 weeks that causes him to become irritable and agitated very easily and have increased suicidal ideation, but even after the adjustment period, irritability would still be a side effect that he had to deal with and manage.
Eventually, when school started, his mental health did become worse, so he decided to get on medication again, and he did go through an adjustment period. It was a struggle- it was hard seeing him very sad and depressed all the time, and I always tried to help him as best as I could- offering to help him get ready in the morning/drive him to school if he couldn’t get out of bed, helping him with assignments, etc.
At the same time, he definitely became constantly agitated with me. If I didn’t hear him say something and asked him to repeat it (although this was also an issue before he started the medication, but i feel like it got more pronounced), he would basically get very clearly annoyed and quiet, barely talking to me or shutting me down with one word responses. If i didn’t text him for a couple of hours (i have adhd and will sometimes forget to text, which i know is reasonable to be upset about, but he would also do the same thing when playing games with friends), or talked just a bit too much (another adhd symptom, which again i understand can get annoying because i can sometimes go on for VERY long), or if i forget something (an item, memory, or something he told me before), or if we have a recurring joke but for some reason just didn’t like it that day, or if i called him on the phone unprompted (which he does to me too, so i didn’t know that was something i couldn’t do) or if i just say any normal thing but for some reason he just didn’t like it that day, i would be met with irritation, passive aggressiveness, and the silent treatment. I would’ve been slightly more okay with it if it was just a few minutes and then he was back to normal, but he would continue like this for HOURS. If we started talking in the evening, and i said something that slightly annoyed him, it was basically a guarantee that he would be essentially silent for the rest of the night. Not only that, but this happened almost every single day.
I’d like to note that he never expressed his irritation in an angry way, or yelled/said harmful things about me/did anything physical, he would just become very quiet, and anything he did say was very clearly in an irritated voice, as well as passive aggressive remarks.
Eventually, I talked about this with him. When i did, i basically completely forgot that his medication was a reason for a lot of what was happening, so when i talked to him about it, I didn’t mention medication at all. He told me that his medication caused a lot of his agitation and at first accused me of not believing that his medication caused side effects/not taking them seriously, but eventually apologized and said that it wasn’t an excuse and that he’d do better, but also said that sometimes i misinterpreted him as upset when he really wasn’t (which tbh i don’t believe, because sometimes if i pointed something out that he did, he’d say he wasn’t upset or annoyed at all, but a day or two later, tell me he was irritated with me).
He did do better for a bit, but after around a month it basically went to the same way it was before. This went on for a few months, I continued to have conversations with him, he continued to tell me he’d do better, and he would be a bit until he wasn’t. To be fair, after the 6 week adjustment period was over, he still was not doing well at all for about another month, and so he increased his medication dose, which made him have another adjustment period, and he did tell me that his biggest concern was how he’d treat me during that time, so I decided to keep being patient until he got his medication under control.
Fast forward a couple of months, and I was seeing improvements- until about 2 months ago. We saw each other a lot more often; before this time, we’d usually see each other 1-2 times a week and we’d have some sleepovers, but in those two months, i’d stay over at his house for 3-5 days a week. During this time, his irritation got way worse. He definitely valued his independence, but would continuously ask me to stay over, it wasn’t like I urged him to let me stay over. Here are some examples of things that happened:
- before i came over, he told me how he didn’t want to think about making food because he was stressed over schoolwork. I asked him if I could make him something, he told me yes, so I made pizza while he showered. I’ve made pizza several times before, he made it once with me(also, i’ve cooked for years while he only started occasionally baking things when we got together since i liked to cook/bake), and when he came down, he saw the pizza dough was slightly stickier than it looked when he made it with me. He got annoyed and kept asking what I did wrong, and that from now on, i should only cook when he was with me to make sure I don’t mess it up, and then basically became extremely quiet for the next 15-30 minutes. I think he realized he sounded super weird saying this, and tried to turn it into a joke after those 30 minuted, but it made me feel really bad in the moment becsude I only wanted to do something nice for him. By the way, the pizza turned out great- my friend came over to eat with us and told us it was one of the best pizzas she’s ever had.
- These next few are connected: The next day, he was at school, and I happened to not have school that day so I stayed at his house while he was there to rest because I had a really bad headache. Again, the past few days he told me how stressed he was about school, so I wanted to surprise him. I cleaned his room, made pizza sauce for pizza since we had extra dough (he really likes the pizza), and made him cookies because he told me he was craving them a few days before. He took an uber to school (he couldn’t drive yet at this point), and so I also offered to pick him up.
* The first thing that happened was he has a mildly confusing alarm system I had to disable before going outside to get to the car. If i didn’t do the steps correctly, the alarm would sound. Basically, I had to disable the alarm, go through the garage door and close it fully, press the button to open the garage, go back inside and press another button tot turn the alarm back on, and go out the garage door while it’s beeping and fully close the door again to stop the beeping. He told me these directions and I followed them, and the beeping continue to happen even after I closed the door. i texted him that I was walking out the garage but there was still beeping, he told me it was okay, but then the alarm went off. I think he thought that I didn’t close the garage door yet, which is why he thought it was okay? But apparently I didn’t wait for him to fully give him instructions (which I was genuinely confused about bc even looking back at the texts now he did), and he got extremely frustrated with me, telling me that because I didn’t properly follow directions, it was now going to call his parents. He kept saying that it was whatever, and that he’d just take an uber, but I apologized profusely and kept telling him that I’d do it right. He texted his mom, and apparently he told me to press the wrong button, and that i need to press a different one instead after going back in through the garage door. In the moment, he kept saying that the other button was still right and always works for him, but later he admitted that he was probably wrong about it. * The second thing that happened isn’t really a big deal, but i’ll still include it. My boyfriend also has anxiety, and is a very big backseat driver. However, backseat driving makes me extremely paranoid and be a worse driver, so it’s just a never ending cycle. I would be following the directions on the GPS, and he would keep telling me the directions as if I can’t see them myself. For example, if i’m about to turn right, he’d would keep repeating “turn right over here” a bunch of times, each one more with more urgency, as if it isn’t what I was already doing. He will pick apart everything I do, and tell me not to talk too much or turn the music up too loud because it would distract me. Again, to be fair, because of my ADHD, I do get distracted easily, even on the road, but it’s usually pretty manageable, and I’m able to talk on the phone/listen to music when driving when I’m by myself. The problem is with him, I get paranoid over what i’m doing, so I get distracted, and I guess that makes it seem like the music/talking is what’s distracting me. Again, when he backseat drives, he also gets extremely agitated/quiet, and he basically continued on like that for the next few hours. * Lastly, when we got home, he was irritated over everything I did. I did leave a bit later than I told him I would because of the things I was preparing (i think i left at 3:15 instead of 3), but I told him beforehand, and he told me to take my time and come anytime I wanted to since I was going out of my way to drive him(be told me this right when I offered to drive him and after I told him i’d be a bit late). When we got home, I told him about what i made and that I cleaned his room, but he got upset because I made the pizza sauce/cookies because he wanted us to do it together. I told him that I would’ve loved to make them together, but just wanted to surprise him because he told me he had a lot of work to do and told me he was craving cookies earlier. He said that he didn’t have as much work anymore, and told me that he thought I knew that because he told me the assignments he need to do (i did know that most of the deadlines were for that day and the day before, but he told me he had some deadlines for a few days after and had told me his whole week was busy, but I guess to him I should’ve know that most of his pressing work would’ve been done that day). He was upset with me again for another few hours, and I tried to tell him there were things we could still do together like assemble the pizza, make something the next day, etc, but he wasn’t having it. Eventually a few hours later he got over it and told me he appreciated that I made him those things, and he was disappointed that we couldn’t do it together, and then mentioned that he was grateful that I cleaned up for him (he didn’t mention it before).Several other things happened, but I think that’s enough to somewhat get the picture. The biggest thing that happened though was just a couple of weeks ago. We hadn’t seen each other in maybe 2-3 weeks, and so I was really excited to get to see him. He had an exam that day, so I offered to drive him, and he again said that he didn’t want to worry about making food. The day before he told me he was craving pizza, so yet again I said i’d make it before i came over (starting to think pizza and me driving is cursed). I asked him before if it was okay that I made him pizza, and he said yes, and so we agreed that I would get to his house around 2 (it was maybe 10 am at the time). I bought supplies and started making the pizza. after a while though, I guess he changed his mind about me making the pizza because it took a while. Around 1, I could tell he was getting annoyed. He kept saying that the pizza wasn’t important enough bc i could’ve been at his house already. I finished making the pizza and got to his house pretty early, maybe 5-10 minutes before 2. After that, I was still waiting in the car for another 30 minutes because he was still getting ready, and he got to my car around 2:30. He was still very upset and annoyed with me and gave me the silent treatment. I tried to keep the mood light, but again, he just didn’t say anything. When we were driving, I asked him if he wanted to play music, and what song I should play, but just… complete silence, not even a nod or head shake or anything. For the entire ride he was just on his phone, texting a few friends, and I started to silently cry because I felt so unappreciated. When we got to his campus, he went to a reserved room, but I had to stay in the car because i have a tutoring job that’s online, and had a session at the same time we parked. The person I was supposed to tutor wasn’t there for the session, which was lucky for me because right when my boyfriend left, I started sobbing. When I got out of the car I was still crying as I was walking across the street, and decided to call my friend to take my mind off of everything. Her girlfriend also went to the same college as my boyfriend, and I didn’t know exactly where I was supposed to go, so I called her to help me find where I needed to go. Since we were calling, I didn’t see some texts my boyfriend sent me, but I finally found the room. I was a bit cheered up from my friend but still sad, but wanted to act happy and normal in case he was just randomly in a bad mood and just needed a distraction. When I came in, I was happy to see him and made some jokes, but all he said was “why didn’t you text me” in the most monotone, upset voice. I told him that I was sorry and forgot, would do better next time, and was going to explain that I was on the phone so i didn’t see his texts, but he interrupted me and said something like “i don’t care about you telling me you’re going to do better, just actually do it” in the meanest, irritated tone. It doesn’t seem like a big deal at all, but he has never retorted at me like that before, especially in the way he did. That was my final straw, and I just completely broke down and started crying. He kept asking me to talk to him and tell me what I was thinking, which only made it worse because it was pretty clear as to why I was crying. He comforted me, apologized, and then had to leave for his exam. For the next 4 hours he was in his exam, I was just crying nonstop. When he came back, I was still crying, and he kept apologizing and asked if I was going to break up with him. I told him I wasn’t, and then told him that this happened so often and I felt like no matter what I did, there was something I was doing wrong, and that I felt unloveable. He again apologized a lot and told me he loved me, and later told me that he really wanted to change his medication and get therapy.
A few days later, a similar thing happened, but not to that extent. My boyfriend just got his license and offered to pick me up from one of my exams. I told him I wasn’t sure how long the exam would be, and didn’t want to let him know yet because it could’ve taken very long. I was right- it was supposed to be from 12-3, but I ended up starting later end ending around 6:30. I texted him after I finished, but he told me he wished I would’ve let him know earlier because he wasn’t comfortable driving in the dark yet, which is reasonable. He became very quiet and upset again though, and again, anytime I made conversation, he would shut it down and be really upset. I also told him that I had to move out of my dorm, and so he didn’t have to come if he didn’t want to because it would’ve been a lot of things to haul out. He said that it was okay and that he wanted to see me, and so he came over. When he did, he got upset again because we fooled around for an hour or two instead packing everything up (which he initiated), and then as we started pskcking, he became mean and frustrated again. He kept saying that he just didn’t expect to be moving me out, and that he just wanted to pick me up and go home, even though so told him before that that’s what was going to happen. After everything was packed up and we were in the car, he was still silent and upset but a bit less so. I felt really bad and became quiet, and he told me and i quote: “i’m feeling really anxious to drive this car at night, so can you just act normal”, which felt weird for him to say because I was only acting like that because of he as acting mean. I wanted to get home though because it was pretty late, so I just played some music and acted like my normal self, and that made me feel a bit better. When we got home, he apologized again, and thanked me for being patient with him, and that he’d be getting help soon.
After that, he did become a lot nicer to me. There were things I’ve said which I was sure he was going to get upset over, but he just didn’t at all. Usually, even after he’d apologize other times, he would still get a bit upset with me, but it’d only last a few minutes before he became normal again. This time, he wasn’t upset at all even for the things he’d most commonly get upset about (like me not hearing what he said for example). Hes been this way for around 2 weeks, and had not been getting upset at all, and he said he’s getting therapy soon.
The problem now is, especially because of the last two incidents, I still feel extremely anxious and paranoid when I’m with him. I am constantly on edge because I’m worried I’ll say the wrong thing when I’m with him, and it’ll be just like how it has been for the past almost one year.
Looking back at what i just wrote, these instances don’t really seem like that big of a deal, especially compared to how some other people are treated on this subreddit. I think what makes me upset is just how often it happens and how it completely messes up our entire day because he’s just upset the entire time. In the past 3-4 months, I don’t think we’ve ever had a call/hangout where he upset for at least 1-2 hours. I think another thing that really hurts me is that he just acts completely different around me vs anyone else. A lot of the times when I call him, he will get so upset and annoyed so quickly for menial things. He plays games for hours a day, so sometimes when we’re facetime and he wants to play with some friends, he’ll set his camera up so I can watch him play while i do other things, kind of like a youtube video. Whenever we’re on call and he’s upset, and then tells me he wants to play and sets his camera up, his mood instantly changes. His face literally brightens up, and he seems so much happier and talkative. I will sometimes hear his friends on the other end, and they will say/do the exact same things that he gets annoyed at me with, and it just is not a big deal at all, he doesn’t even seem to notice that it happened. Same with my friends- One day, we were planning a trip to the beach, and were supposed to leave around 12 PM. When he came home, he became upset and quiet with me again, and I kept asking him what was wrong and if we’re still going on our trip, but he just ignored me. Finally, at around 6 PM, he was normal again, and then took another hour and a half to get ready, so we ended up leaving at 7:30 PM. My friend was texting me at the same time, so I told my boyfriend to talk to her while I was driving. As we were driving (we were around 15 minutes away at this point), I realized I forgot my license. I asked him if I should turn around, he kept telling me he wasn’t sure, and he was just very upset and annoyed with me, even though judt before we left a whole 7 hours later because he was upset. We drove for an hour before he decided that I should drive back, and I kept apologizing for forgetting my license, and that we could try again tomorrow morning. His mom told us we could go to dinner or something to make up for the day, and I asked him if he wanted to do that, and he just said “why would we do that what would we even eat” in a harsh tone. Again, I tried to keep it light, telling him that I was sorry and we could start fresh tomorrow, and he said that he didn’t want to go to the beach anymore in an upset tone. Again, for half of the night after we came home, he was upset and irritated with me. Later that night, I looked back at. the texts between my friend and boyfriend, and I was in shock with just how different he was acting with me in real life vs how he was acting with her. As he was upset with me, he was texting her with updates, making jokes, and basically just making it seem like it wasn’t a big deal at all that I didn’t have my license. In real life, he acted like I was so stupid for forgetting it, and that it was the worst thing I could’ve possibly done.
I feel like most people who read this might just think he values his independence, and that aim too clingy. I too thought that maybe I just wasn’t giving him his space, especially because I’m his first girlfriend. I will not offer to call/come over as much just to see if I’m the one asking too often and he feels too bad to say no, but when I don’t, he will keep asking me to call him and come over, and ask why I haven’t been talking to him as much/initiates calls or hangouts. He’ll tell me to call more often and hang out with him more often as well. If we hang out, I’ll tell him that I’ll go home for the night and don’t plan on sleeping over, and he’ll keep asking me if I could sleep over or when I could sleep over, and continue to make plans.
Despite what I’ve said, my boyfriend is genuinely the most amazing guy anyone could ever meet. He’s sweet, kind, and thoughtful with genuinely everyone- his parents, my friends, his friends, his professors, everyone. He is an amazing tipper, he goes out of his way to do things for my friends, and anytime i mention the slightest thing he’ll go out of his way to do it for me. For example, in the first month we met, he noticed my backpack and headphones were completely broken, so he bought me a new ones without me saying absolutely anything to him. When I drove him places, he saw that it was difficult for me to look at my phone to follow GPS directions, so he randomly bought me a car phone holder. On my birthday, he made me a card out of the acknowledgement page of the first book we read together, crossed out the authors name, and put my name, and wrote a bunch of sweet, adorable things about me. Because of my adhd, I would constantly forget to chargemy phone/laptop or bring my chargers, and would constantly have no charge on both, so he bought me a pack with 10 of each type of charger, as well as a portable charger. I offhandedly mentioned that I get really carsick, so he bought me dramamine and those carsickness goggles. He bought pads to keep with him just in case I need some, and always carries pepto and advil around because i get headaches a lot and have lots of stomachaches. He helped me move into my dorm, and bought me so many food and supplies even when I insisted that he didn’t. Whenever we go out with my friends, he always covers everything. For my friend’s birthday, everyone was going to chip in to buy her airpods, but he told them he’d cover their part and essentially just bought them for her. He is an insanely hard worker, and I am so proud of him for everything that he’s been through, and he is also just the most fun person to be around. I love him so so much, and I know that a lot of the way he’s acted is because of his depression, and I know that that’s not really him. I visited him yesterday and we had a really good time, but the entire time I kept being really careful with what I said because I was scared of him becoming upset. I’m scared that this anxiety I feel around him will last forever. I want to wait until he has everything under control, but if he becomes the same way that he was before again, I don’t know how much of it I can take. I don’t know what to do or where to go from here- can anyone help me?
2024.05.19 12:51 Positive_Leader4613 1600mhz 1x8gb single channel or 2x8gb 1066mhz dual channel?
For some reason, my PC always crashes when I run games in dual channel mode. This only happens when the RAM is set to 1600MHz. I can avoid the crashes by either underclocking the RAM to 1066MHz or using only one stick of RAM (still at 1600MHz).
My system specs are:
My question is, which configuration would benefit me more in terms of FPS, Since Im planning to buy a 144Hz monitor next week? Thanks!
submitted by Positive_Leader4613 to pcmasterrace [link] [comments]
My system specs are:
- Motherboard: ASRock H97 Anniversary
- CPU: Intel Core i5-4590 (planning to upgrade to Ryzen 5 3600 next Christmas)
- Graphics Card: AMD Radeon RX 6600
- Power Supply: 500W
My question is, which configuration would benefit me more in terms of FPS, Since Im planning to buy a 144Hz monitor next week? Thanks!
2024.05.19 11:54 CreamyTentacles Need Advice: Should I Split Expenses Equally with My Higher-Earning Boyfriend?
Hey everyone,
I could use some advice on a financial situation with my boyfriend. I'm 23M from Mexico, and he's 24M from Australia. We've been together for a year, though we met during a vacation and have only spent that time together in person. Since then, we've maintained our relationship through FaceTime.
During our relationship, my boyfriend has covered more of the expenses, including gifts, helping with my credit card, buying me food, help with medical bills, ordering me Ubers, etc. I never take advantage of his help; he always offers, he said that’s his way of showing affection due the distance and I accept every so often as a last resort. He earns 3-4 times more than I do, I have an average job, so I can't afford to get him as many gifts or contribute as much.
We planned a trip to Mexico for my birthday in August. He used his travel points to cover his AUS-MEX flights. We booked two hotels. National flights, carr rental and other costs in advance.
Here's where I need advice: he asked me to split the total expenses for the trip equally, including the plane tickets (excluding his AUS-MEX flight) hotels, car rental, etc. This surprised me because, given our income difference and his usual willingness to cover more costs, I assumed we'd split expenses based on our salaries. He understands that our quality of living is very different.
I have the money to pay my half from my savings, but it would mean working overtime to replenish what I need for university. I don't want to be unfair, but I'm not sure if it's reasonable to split everything 50/50 in this situation.
Should I talk to him about it or just pay my half and move on? I don't want to seem ungrateful or create tension, especially considering all the expenses he's covered so far and the help he's given me with bills, and I can definitely work OT, is not about the money for me but about the equity of the situation. Any advice would be appreciated!
Thanks!
submitted by CreamyTentacles to LDR [link] [comments]
I could use some advice on a financial situation with my boyfriend. I'm 23M from Mexico, and he's 24M from Australia. We've been together for a year, though we met during a vacation and have only spent that time together in person. Since then, we've maintained our relationship through FaceTime.
During our relationship, my boyfriend has covered more of the expenses, including gifts, helping with my credit card, buying me food, help with medical bills, ordering me Ubers, etc. I never take advantage of his help; he always offers, he said that’s his way of showing affection due the distance and I accept every so often as a last resort. He earns 3-4 times more than I do, I have an average job, so I can't afford to get him as many gifts or contribute as much.
We planned a trip to Mexico for my birthday in August. He used his travel points to cover his AUS-MEX flights. We booked two hotels. National flights, carr rental and other costs in advance.
Here's where I need advice: he asked me to split the total expenses for the trip equally, including the plane tickets (excluding his AUS-MEX flight) hotels, car rental, etc. This surprised me because, given our income difference and his usual willingness to cover more costs, I assumed we'd split expenses based on our salaries. He understands that our quality of living is very different.
I have the money to pay my half from my savings, but it would mean working overtime to replenish what I need for university. I don't want to be unfair, but I'm not sure if it's reasonable to split everything 50/50 in this situation.
Should I talk to him about it or just pay my half and move on? I don't want to seem ungrateful or create tension, especially considering all the expenses he's covered so far and the help he's given me with bills, and I can definitely work OT, is not about the money for me but about the equity of the situation. Any advice would be appreciated!
Thanks!
2024.05.19 11:11 Twilightzone777 Big fall out with my mum and her best friend
So I (21f) was out yesterday with my friend. My mum was also out with her cousin and her best friend. My mums friend well call her Carly have been friends for 40 years and have never fell out. My friend was going to a party after we were out so my mum suggested that I come and meet her and her friends for drinks as she had booked a table at restaurant. I said maybe as I was up early for work the next day. After having some drinks with my friends I decided to go and meet with my mum and her friends. I get to the bar before them and it is extremely busy and there is no sign of my mum or her friends. I meet them and we try to go in and the bouncer is not letting us in. We eventually get in and go to the bar to show them our booking. There isn’t an empty table in sight. They get us a table and we sit. The seats are soaking wet and my mums cousin is basically passed out on the table. They ordered drinks and I didn’t want anything. I was getting to the point where I had already had a few drinks and was ready to just call it a night. I told my mum that I was going to head home and she said no and said I would be selfish for leaving. There was a big event on in the city I was living in so I could understand if she was worrying about safety but she said that it would make people think I didn’t want to be with her and her friends. I said okay and stayed. They got food and began eating it. After maybe fifteen minutes I said to my mum I’m going to head and get the train home and that my boyfriend was going to pick me up from the train station. She starts calling me selfish again and telling me how inconsiderate I am then proceeds to say to go home with your boring boyfriend then. She was being quite passive aggressive with me this whole time. When she made the comment about my boyfriend I had had enough and left. I was extremely upset. My mums friends Carly then phones me and tells me to come back as she doesn’t want me to go home myself. I walk back to the bar and she asked me what happened. I told her and we went back into the restaurant together. I sat with Carly and she said to my mum to stop being horrible. This is when everything blows up. My mum starts shouting at the two of us. Charley was saying that my mum shouldn’t have said that about my boyfriend. My mum had had a lot to drink and this was most likely a factor in her reacting this way. I never said my mum was horrible nor did I expect for Carly to say anything. I was just upset and wanted to go home. My mum eventually storms out the restaurant and Carly runs after her. Carly come back after ten minutes saying that she will have to get my mums cousin home herself and how she doesn’t know what’s happening. My mum phones me and tells me to come and meet her. I am extremely upset at this point as these are the two most important women in my life. I go and meet her and she starts shouting at me. She was asking me what I said to Carley and that they had never had an argument before. I told her I told carley what she had said to me. She denied it all and said I was lying. She then starts making personals digs at meant aren’t true or fair to say. My mum phones carley and carley and my mums cousin show up. Everything seems fine again they had a laugh and then my mum starts arguing again. She is now shouting in the middle of the streets. She is saying she hates me and that I was fake crying and that this whole situation was my fault. I was hysterical at this point. My mum won’t let me come home with her even though me and carley were trying to convince her to get a taxi home with us she refused. My mum ended up saying to carley that she was a shot friend because she did remember my grans death anniversary or my mum and dad 25th wedding anniversary (my dad passed a few years ago). My mum then storms off and I stay with carley. Carley wasn’t that bothered about the argument until now as she said my mum had too much to drink and everything would be fine in the morning. But now she was extremely upset. Carley has been through a lot with us she was there for us when my dad and gran died she still to this day stays over at our house sometime we go to her house for Christmas dinner. She is basically an aunt to me. I got home before my mum and told my little sister what had happened. She said to me to be the bigger person and that our mum probably just had too much to drink as my mum can lose her temper quite easily sometimes. My mum was walking home from the train station and asked my sister to come and walk with her. I asked her to ask if I could come too my mum said no she doesn’t want to see me along with some nasty words I won’t repeat. They both come home my mum slams a sore and just keeps yelling at me and telling me to F off. I told her I was sorry for leaving the bar and I asked if we could talk about it and she continued to yell at me. It is now the next day I am currently at work and honestly scared to go home. Can any recommended any advice as I genuinely don’t know what to do in this situation
submitted by Twilightzone777 to AITAH [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 11:11 KitchenTasty8929 Mil overstepped/ emeshmemt
My husband and I started dating during Covid. We are both gamers, and had met through my brother who is a long time friend of his. They met once before.
My attraction was his voice, his personality and eventually finding out he was very handsome didn’t hurt either. We connected right away and fell in love. A year and a bit of disappointment, the border finally opened and we met in person.
The chemistry has been undeniably strong. He fell hard and so did I. I began to get excited at the idea of marrying him. Starting a life together. The works!
I visited him afterwards and met his family. He lives at home as he’s saving money and helps his mom a lot around the house and overall. She’s older (65+) and needs help a lot. She’s energetic and light hearted but also has a wicked streak.
I never anticipated this. When I met she was super sweet. It was his sister that gave me a hard time at first, which was difficult but I persevered regardless. His mother started as supportive, but as soon as I started discussing future plans, everything began to change.
Suddenly I was rushing things, my husband, life , etc. I was 25 when we dated and he was 23. We were younger but not THAT young. We both eagerly discussed marriage since week 2 of dating. We dated a year and a bit when I first met his family.
Every conversation with his sister or mom during the first year or two of dating revolved around my lack of education. They’re a degree family (teachers at a elementary school and pre-K) and looked down on me because I didn’t have one, so I decided to open up about my trauma and childhood to help them understand why I’m where I’m at in life, and that it’s actually way better than I could ever imagine.
I have my own place. I make good money at a corporate job I’ve been at for several years, and I travel frequently. I have a full life of friends and family of my own. I don’t talk to my mom because she was physically abusive until I was 17 and worse. His mom knows this.
I explained that we need a marriage based visa approval before I can legally move to his country (USA) from mine (Canada). Student visa is pricey and not ideal for future plans. I went through the process and it all over 20 times in length. Trying to get everyone to understand it was the best option to get married. They fought it HARD. I cried so much, so many times.
I had no idea why they were soiling on our goals and on me. My husband was so excited to get married, he knew what we needed to do. They actively tried to convince him not to do it but then helped him plan my engagement decorations and cake. His sister was annoyed by this, since it was hard to watch her younger brother grow up and as her own marriage was rocky at the time.
After we got married his mom started making comments only to me about how we have to “wait and see how it all goes after a year” implying we wouldn’t last that long. She constantly says stuff like this. Especially when we’re alone in the kitchen having what I thought was an open conversation.
She’s accused me of marrying him for a green card, of trying to rush our marriage to have babies, and trap him.
I have explained countless times my plan and our plan to wait for kids. Yes I’m older than him but we have goals before kids come that we want to achieve. Pair her general comments with her mean remarks whenever we mention future kids, and I just see someone trying to tear me down.
The worst thing she said is that she thinks if I got pregnant and my relationship with him fails, that I’ll “take the baby to Canada”. And that if things don’t work out before kids, I’ll be alone out here. Yeah.
Despite all this, I have always helped her and been nice. Even too nice.
Today was the straw that broke my camels proverbial back. I had helped her while she was really sick with what we found out to be COVID, for 2 weeks while I am visiting my husband before we fly away for our 1 year Anniversary trip. I made her home made soup, I cleaned her house, I checked on her. I made a custom recipe book for my Mother’s Day gift to her. I got her whole family to sign it after.
We haven’t celebrated due to her being sick. We were supposed today. My husband and I came back from a day out and she starts ranting about our sex life to him, and I am overhearing this from his room. She was talking about it in the open dining room randomly.
I had a private talk with her when she was at the end of her sickness, as my husband and I had some tense talks and I wanted to get insight. I had mentioned in passing that my iud strings were cut during a precancer cell removal surgery. That I was being careful but still worry for us sometimes, but that I’m taking precautions.
She didn’t say much besides “ oh that’s good! I’m glad to hear that”. Then she brings it up today, 4 days later. In front of my husband who in already discussed this with. She’s lying and saying I sounded unsure and scared, that we’re being careless and that she’s praying we don’t get pregnant. She tells him he should take mint pills, get a temporary vasectomy, and that I should get checked / scanned. That she doesn’t know if we’re compatible if we have tense talks lately and we may find out after living together FT. She said she wishes she could twist his balls, that she had a nightmare I got pregnant and “someone got hurt” but didn’t elaborate so as not to “call it into existence “ We’re just standing there stunned. She plays it off like she cares, but she’s just being so negative.
I levelled with her, assuring her I would take precautions once again. That her concern is real. Well shortly after we went to his room feeling good about hearing her out while talking. But then I hear his mom gossiping to his older sister. She barely looked at me after when I walked in. She was noticeably cold to me.
His mom was syrupy sweet to me. Saying we (her son and i) should go on a walk to enjoy the sunnny day! I cried the whole time asking him why she’s so mean, why she can’t trust us to be adults.
I cried so hard I skipped lunch and dinner, I had an anxiety attack. I couldn’t breathe, I’m disbelief at what I saw and heard today. It’s like nothing I did in the past 4 years and 1 year of marriage almost, mattered to her or made any impact.
My husband went up and talked to her, for a long time. He came down and spoke on her behalf, detailing how concerned she was for me and my health “stuff” and that it holds heavy on her heart. She doesn’t want us to go through worse (baby is worse?) and wanted to get her point across. That she loves me and accepts me as her own.
Well after I stopped sobbing, I texted her saying I was sorry for today and why stress I caused her with my words.
She texts back giving me shit for not “coming to her directly” as she felt it was important i hear what she said to her son too. That if she didn’t care she wouldn’t bring it up to us. That we will figure it out as we’re adults. Night night with heart emoji.
I texted back a big paragraph (like this post) reminding her that she wasn’t direct with me as she was talking to my husband about making sure I was on birth control, insinuating I’m lying about my IUD being effective. If I didn’t walk in the chat never would have happened. That she can’t expect me to come upstairs and hash it out if I’m so upset I can’t stop crying. That it’s unfair to put that on me after i was the bigger person and apologized to her tonight. She never said sorry to me directly.
My poor husband is in the middle, especially as he’s the youngest (27). I told him it’s time to move out and detach from the emotionally toxic relationship with his mom. He agrees.
He’s tried to leave a few times but she guilts him into staying. Today was the first day he saw her true colours towards me, he hated it!
Any support is appreciated and advice is valued!
TLDR; MIL chastised us about our private issues like sex
submitted by KitchenTasty8929 to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]
My attraction was his voice, his personality and eventually finding out he was very handsome didn’t hurt either. We connected right away and fell in love. A year and a bit of disappointment, the border finally opened and we met in person.
The chemistry has been undeniably strong. He fell hard and so did I. I began to get excited at the idea of marrying him. Starting a life together. The works!
I visited him afterwards and met his family. He lives at home as he’s saving money and helps his mom a lot around the house and overall. She’s older (65+) and needs help a lot. She’s energetic and light hearted but also has a wicked streak.
I never anticipated this. When I met she was super sweet. It was his sister that gave me a hard time at first, which was difficult but I persevered regardless. His mother started as supportive, but as soon as I started discussing future plans, everything began to change.
Suddenly I was rushing things, my husband, life , etc. I was 25 when we dated and he was 23. We were younger but not THAT young. We both eagerly discussed marriage since week 2 of dating. We dated a year and a bit when I first met his family.
Every conversation with his sister or mom during the first year or two of dating revolved around my lack of education. They’re a degree family (teachers at a elementary school and pre-K) and looked down on me because I didn’t have one, so I decided to open up about my trauma and childhood to help them understand why I’m where I’m at in life, and that it’s actually way better than I could ever imagine.
I have my own place. I make good money at a corporate job I’ve been at for several years, and I travel frequently. I have a full life of friends and family of my own. I don’t talk to my mom because she was physically abusive until I was 17 and worse. His mom knows this.
I explained that we need a marriage based visa approval before I can legally move to his country (USA) from mine (Canada). Student visa is pricey and not ideal for future plans. I went through the process and it all over 20 times in length. Trying to get everyone to understand it was the best option to get married. They fought it HARD. I cried so much, so many times.
I had no idea why they were soiling on our goals and on me. My husband was so excited to get married, he knew what we needed to do. They actively tried to convince him not to do it but then helped him plan my engagement decorations and cake. His sister was annoyed by this, since it was hard to watch her younger brother grow up and as her own marriage was rocky at the time.
After we got married his mom started making comments only to me about how we have to “wait and see how it all goes after a year” implying we wouldn’t last that long. She constantly says stuff like this. Especially when we’re alone in the kitchen having what I thought was an open conversation.
She’s accused me of marrying him for a green card, of trying to rush our marriage to have babies, and trap him.
I have explained countless times my plan and our plan to wait for kids. Yes I’m older than him but we have goals before kids come that we want to achieve. Pair her general comments with her mean remarks whenever we mention future kids, and I just see someone trying to tear me down.
The worst thing she said is that she thinks if I got pregnant and my relationship with him fails, that I’ll “take the baby to Canada”. And that if things don’t work out before kids, I’ll be alone out here. Yeah.
Despite all this, I have always helped her and been nice. Even too nice.
Today was the straw that broke my camels proverbial back. I had helped her while she was really sick with what we found out to be COVID, for 2 weeks while I am visiting my husband before we fly away for our 1 year Anniversary trip. I made her home made soup, I cleaned her house, I checked on her. I made a custom recipe book for my Mother’s Day gift to her. I got her whole family to sign it after.
We haven’t celebrated due to her being sick. We were supposed today. My husband and I came back from a day out and she starts ranting about our sex life to him, and I am overhearing this from his room. She was talking about it in the open dining room randomly.
I had a private talk with her when she was at the end of her sickness, as my husband and I had some tense talks and I wanted to get insight. I had mentioned in passing that my iud strings were cut during a precancer cell removal surgery. That I was being careful but still worry for us sometimes, but that I’m taking precautions.
She didn’t say much besides “ oh that’s good! I’m glad to hear that”. Then she brings it up today, 4 days later. In front of my husband who in already discussed this with. She’s lying and saying I sounded unsure and scared, that we’re being careless and that she’s praying we don’t get pregnant. She tells him he should take mint pills, get a temporary vasectomy, and that I should get checked / scanned. That she doesn’t know if we’re compatible if we have tense talks lately and we may find out after living together FT. She said she wishes she could twist his balls, that she had a nightmare I got pregnant and “someone got hurt” but didn’t elaborate so as not to “call it into existence “ We’re just standing there stunned. She plays it off like she cares, but she’s just being so negative.
I levelled with her, assuring her I would take precautions once again. That her concern is real. Well shortly after we went to his room feeling good about hearing her out while talking. But then I hear his mom gossiping to his older sister. She barely looked at me after when I walked in. She was noticeably cold to me.
His mom was syrupy sweet to me. Saying we (her son and i) should go on a walk to enjoy the sunnny day! I cried the whole time asking him why she’s so mean, why she can’t trust us to be adults.
I cried so hard I skipped lunch and dinner, I had an anxiety attack. I couldn’t breathe, I’m disbelief at what I saw and heard today. It’s like nothing I did in the past 4 years and 1 year of marriage almost, mattered to her or made any impact.
My husband went up and talked to her, for a long time. He came down and spoke on her behalf, detailing how concerned she was for me and my health “stuff” and that it holds heavy on her heart. She doesn’t want us to go through worse (baby is worse?) and wanted to get her point across. That she loves me and accepts me as her own.
Well after I stopped sobbing, I texted her saying I was sorry for today and why stress I caused her with my words.
She texts back giving me shit for not “coming to her directly” as she felt it was important i hear what she said to her son too. That if she didn’t care she wouldn’t bring it up to us. That we will figure it out as we’re adults. Night night with heart emoji.
I texted back a big paragraph (like this post) reminding her that she wasn’t direct with me as she was talking to my husband about making sure I was on birth control, insinuating I’m lying about my IUD being effective. If I didn’t walk in the chat never would have happened. That she can’t expect me to come upstairs and hash it out if I’m so upset I can’t stop crying. That it’s unfair to put that on me after i was the bigger person and apologized to her tonight. She never said sorry to me directly.
My poor husband is in the middle, especially as he’s the youngest (27). I told him it’s time to move out and detach from the emotionally toxic relationship with his mom. He agrees.
He’s tried to leave a few times but she guilts him into staying. Today was the first day he saw her true colours towards me, he hated it!
Any support is appreciated and advice is valued!
TLDR; MIL chastised us about our private issues like sex
2024.05.19 10:04 wishme_29 Marriage Anniversary Card With Couple Name Download
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2024.05.19 10:03 wishme_29 Wedding Anniversary Wishes Card With Picture And Name Edit
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2024.05.19 09:51 saterini Are Chu 2s good?
 | I got my boyfriend Chu 2s as surprise gift for our anniversary. He's the one who introduced me to IEMs, and gave me his Arias (he's afraid of using it bc he lives in a pretty cold area and he thinks the moisture is going to build up inside so he gave it to me) and it changed the way I listen to music ever since lol. He's been geeking out about Chu 2s for a while so I thought it'd be the perfect gift and I'm really excited to give it to him 😁 Arias is my first IEM so I have no idea about these things, are Chu 2s any good? submitted by saterini to iems [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 09:15 ConsequenceSure3063 Best Cardboard Picture Frames
 | submitted by ConsequenceSure3063 to u/ConsequenceSure3063 [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/m8o1nk8s2c1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a94ad95f9b1efef03101f1865a793b3e866b0d06 Looking for a unique and eco-friendly way to display your cherished memories? Our collection of cardboard picture frames not only adds a playful touch but also offers a sustainable alternative to traditional frames. In this roundup, we'll explore various styles, materials, and designs that will make your photos stand out, all while keeping your environmental impact in check. The Top 19 Best Cardboard Picture Frames
Reviews🔗DIY Cardboard Picture Frames (5 x 7 in, 30 Pack)https://preview.redd.it/ykdiw5ts2c1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bc90558603f175fc6641f2f7434acea9b5128073 I recently got my hands on Juvale's 5x7 inch Cardboard Picture Frames, and I must say, they've been a game-changer in my world of DIY home decor. With their bright colors and simple yet sturdy design, these frames are perfect for personalizing with jewels, glitter, and more. One standout feature for me was their ability to fit 5x7-inch photos perfectly. It's been great for displaying cherished moments around the house, just like snapping photos of our recent birthday party. The attached stand is convenient, making it easy to set up and show off your creations without needing an extra easel! However, there's a minor downside to these frames: their thickness. While they look sturdy enough, they might not hold heavier items such as thick cards or large paper cut-outs. Despite this, their durability has been impressive so far, even after a few creative paint jobs! Overall, I can't recommend Juvale's Cardboard Picture Frames enough. Their vibrant colors and simple design make them a perfect addition to any DIY home decor project or special occasion. So go ahead, unleash your creativity and make something amazing! 🔗DIY Picture Frame Kit with 50 Frameshttps://preview.redd.it/zd4zho4t2c1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=91332a093d6f1fc2b97dbd2afa2a48547b4751eb As a creative individual who loves DIY projects, I recently got my hands on the Juvale Cardboard Paper Picture Frame DIY Hanging Kit (50 Pack) 4x6 inch, Black, White. From the moment I unboxed it, I could tell it was going to be a game-changer for my decorating needs. Each of the 50 paper cardboard photo frames comes with a mini clothespin and a piece of hanging twine, making it easy to display various memories and artwork around my home or office. One of the features that truly stood out during my use of this DIY kit was its versatility. Not only can you create unique framed pieces for any space, but you can also get creative and embellish these frames with different materials, like paints, jewels, rhinestones, glitter, labels, stickers, and more. I especially appreciated the fact that the frames can be displayed both vertically and horizontally, allowing me to experiment with different layouts and compositions. Another aspect of this DIY kit that I genuinely appreciated was its affordability. Given that I received 50 frames along with clothespins and twine, it gave me ample opportunities to decorate multiple areas in my house without breaking the bank. Additionally, the black and white color options make it easy to blend these frames into any decor style. However, it's essential to note a few cons that I encountered while using this product. Some of the cardboard frames were slightly thinner and more delicate than others, so extra care must be taken during handling. Additionally, the hanging twine provided could have been slightly longer for easier installation in various locations. Overall, I would highly recommend the Juvale Cardboard Paper Picture Frame DIY Hanging Kit (50 Pack) 4x6 inch, Black, White for anyone who enjoys DIY projects and wants to create personalized photo displays in their homes or workspaces. Its versatility, color options, and affordability make it a worthwhile investment in your decorating endeavors. 🔗Colorful Vibrant Paper Frames for Art Displays and Photo Props (24 Pieces)https://preview.redd.it/wb9rh4nt2c1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2469a1f793f451a4cb42af6fb037248d9973273d I recently purchased these paper frames for my classroom decorations, and I must say, they have been a game-changer! The vibrant colors and fun designs instantly caught my eye. I particularly appreciated the two versatile sizes that could easily accommodate various photo sizes. The small frames were incredibly easy to use as they were designed with a photo space that perfectly fit a letter-sized paper, making it a breeze to display student artwork or use them as props for our fun photo booth activities. However, I did find that the larger frames needed some trimming and resizing to fit smaller images, but overall, they were still worth the effort. One minor drawback was the lack of a smaller size option, as I believe it would be even more versatile and useful in various applications. Nonetheless, these paper frames have significantly enhanced the appearance of my classroom decorations, and I look forward to using them in other creative ways. To summarize, the paper frames are an excellent investment for anyone looking to add a pop of color and creativity to their space. They are easy to use, have a sturdy cardstock thickness, and are available in a variety of fun designs. Although they may require some trimming for certain applications, the end result is definitely worth the effort. 🔗25-Pack Black Cardboard Picture Frames with Gold Foil Borderhttps://preview.redd.it/n8ytioau2c1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=425a9d7bff8384bcf4180d9d0919c941db9b8136 As a cardboard enthusiast, I recently had the pleasure of using these elegant 8.5x11 black picture frames with gold foil borders in my DIY home decor project. The moment I took them out of their 25-piece packaging, I was instantly drawn to their timeless quality and that exquisite golden finish. One thing that truly stood out for me was how easy these frames were to set up. Their side-load design made it incredibly simple to display and switch between my favorite photos, without any hassle. Plus, the linen weave finish added a touch of sophistication to my space. Moreover, the frames come with a pop-up easel, which allows them to be displayed horizontally or vertically. This versatility made it easy to showcase both horizontal and vertical certificates or prints, in a professional manner. However, one minor con I experienced was that the window opening wasn't quite precise, and required a little adjustment to fit my 8x10 prints perfectly. Nonetheless, considering their excellent construction and affordability, these cardboard frames are definitely worth the investment. So, if you're in search of a cost-effective yet elegant solution to frame your memories or certificates, look no further! These cardboard picture frames deliver on both style and functionality, making them an ideal choice for anyone in need of a little DIY touch. 🔗DIY 5x7in Wall Paper Photo Frames with Flax String and Clipshttps://preview.redd.it/zduntwvu2c1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3f355ea6dd5245f1924f8344fd4c043f985d0255 I've been using the Jahosin wall paper picture frames for a month now and I must say, they've significantly upgraded my home décor. The first thing that drew me to them is their unique DIY design with linkage mounted cardboard frames and flax string clips. The 30-frame set is versatile and stylish, perfect for displaying photos, Christmas cards, and artworks at events like weddings or birthdays. They're incredibly easy to assemble, each frame comes with its own clips and a piece of flax string, making it a fun project that the entire family can participate in. They fit standard 5x7 inch pictures, coming in three attractive colors - black, brown, and white. Their pure handcraft and non-toxic material make them a safe addition to any home, and the brilliant artwork on the fronts is a bonus. The only downside I've noticed is that the cardboard isn't the sturdiest, so they might need extra care when being hung or moved around. But overall, these picture frames have been a great addition to my home, adding a touch of art and creativity to my living space. So if you're in the market for unique, affordable photo frames, I highly recommend giving the Jahosin 5x7 inch wall paper picture frames a try. 🔗DIY 5x7 Photo Frames for Home Decorhttps://preview.redd.it/ftrv137v2c1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=967e9bc07bde7b52dd9dcc15924751cc16ded1cc I recently discovered the Jahosin 5x7in Wall Paper Picture Frames and let me tell you, they've been a game-changer for my home decor. As soon as they arrived, I dove right in to create a unique and artistic display on my living room wall. The set of 30 frames comes in three colors and includes flax string and clips for easy mounting. The first thing that stood out to me was the pure hand craft element of these frames. Made with non-toxic, harmless kraft paper material, they're not only stylish but also safe for the whole family. The quality is evident in the craftsmanship and the vibrant printing patterns that bring life to my space. One thing I noticed is that these frames are designed specifically to hold 5x7in pictures, which made it difficult to fit some of my larger prints. However, this constraint did force me to be more creative with my photo selections, ultimately resulting in a more cohesive and eclectic display. Overall, I'm thrilled with my purchase of these DIY Photo Frames from Jahosin. They've added a unique and personal touch to my home decor while also encouraging me to curate a thoughtful collection of cherished memories. If you're looking to transform your living space, I highly recommend giving these picture frames a try! 🔗DIY 50-Pack Picture Frames for Wall Decor with Clips and Stringshttps://preview.redd.it/9bxajpjv2c1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9094b6a76da4b746505626459b1d589da2f6dda7 I was recently looking for a way to display my favorite memories, and I stumbled upon the Juvale 50 Pack Paper Picture Frames. These paper frames added a personal touch to my home decor and were a hit at our family gatherings. First off, the variety and versatility of these paper frames blew me away. They come in 50 different colors, which made it easy for me to match them to my existing dcor. The mini clothespins and hanging twine included made it a breeze to create a stunning photo hanging display on my wall. Plus, they're perfect for DIY craft projects. I had a blast embellishing my frames with glitter, stickers, and paint. However, I found that the actual size of the frames was slightly smaller than I thought. But it wasn't a deal-breaker, as they still worked perfectly for showcasing my favorite photos. All in all, I'd highly recommend the Juvale 50 Pack Paper Picture Frames for anyone looking for a fun and affordable way to display their cherished memories. 🔗Customizable DIY Paper Picture Frameshttps://preview.redd.it/0dgwjo1w2c1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1e26ee80ba0eb94e5a619d0c1079c3559c8f0e20 When I first tried out the Jahosin 5x7in Paper Picture Frames, I was pleasantly surprised by how stylish and creative they were. The handcrafted, non-toxic kraft paper material felt like a breath of fresh air compared to the usual plastic frames. The set came with 10 frames, 10 mini clips, and a string, making it easy to display photos, Christmas cards, and art works in a casual and artistic way. One of the key highlights for me was how easy it was to customize these frames. The DIY linkage design allowed me to arrange the frames in various ways, making them perfect for displaying memories during special occasions like weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, and graduations. Plus, they also added a touch of love, happiness, and wild living spirit to my space. However, I did notice that the frames are quite delicate, so they may not be ideal for families with young children who might accidentally damage them. Additionally, the kraft paper material can absorb moisture, making the frames more susceptible to warping or damage in humid environments. Overall, I found the Jahosin 5x7in Paper Picture Frames to be a comfortable and creative addition to my home decor, adding a touch of warmth to any space they were placed in. I would recommend these frames to anyone looking to display their special memories in a unique and stylish way. 🔗Customizable Kraft Paper Photo Frames (50 Pack)https://preview.redd.it/xh2lgs9w2c1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1bd1f7831056776ccd5bc6afc7611a6982a2ee03 I recently used the Juvale Kraft Paper Picture Frames to decorate my living room and create personalized gifts for friends. The 50-pack is perfect for batch-making, especially when working on DIY projects. Crafted from cardboard, these frames are lightweight and easy to customize with paints, stickers, and other embellishments. One feature that truly stood out was the compatibility with 4x6 inch photos, which means I could feature a variety of images from different occasions. Additionally, the kraft paper texture provides a warm, rustic touch to any space. However, I must admit that the cardboard material isn't as sturdy as traditional frames, so they might not hold up well in humid or high-traffic areas. In conclusion, the Juvale Kraft Paper Picture Frames are perfect for DIY crafts, personalized gifts, and decorations. Their brown color and versatile size make them an ideal choice for various occasions and interior design styles. Despite the flimsy nature of the material, the ease of customization and affordability make these frames a worthwhile addition to your DIY toolkit. 🔗50-Pack White Cardboard Photo Picture Frames, 4x6 Incheshttps://preview.redd.it/4c3fylow2c1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=40ca70b8c0efd0320f6d3d0f13206626e1d64806 As a frequent user of these 50-pack cardboard photo picture frames, I can attest to their ease of use. They are perfect for displaying your favorite 4x6-inch family photos, artwork, and memories. The attached stands allow for easy setup on surfaces like desks and tables, and you can unleash your creativity by personalizing these frames with markers, crayons, rubber stamps, colored pencils, and various paints. However, the one thing that left me unimpressed was the size of the easel. Though it held the 4x6-inch photos nicely, I wish it had a thicker and more professional appearance. The attached stand could be more sturdy, especially if you plan on using it for more presentable purposes like selling art cards. In contrast, I found that the frames were easy to customize, enabling me to express my artistic side while displaying my favorite memories. If you're looking for a quick and easy way to showcase your photos, these cardboard frames are a great choice. Just remember to handle them with care to prevent tearing if you decide to use them for more professional purposes. Overall, I've had a relatively smooth experience using these frames, but there's definitely room for improvement when it comes to their sturdiness and presentation. 🔗Personalized Eco-Friendly Paper Photo Frames (30pcs 4x6) for Wall Decorhttps://preview.redd.it/j4w29h4x2c1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=52efbb82e79643186434cd45a45904d81dd703cc As an avid fan of unique wall decor, I recently stumbled upon the Cardboard Picture Frames 30 Pack. These retro-chic frames have quickly become a staple in my home, adding a touch of whimsy to my otherwise monotonous walls. Made from high-quality, recyclable paper, these frames are not only eco-friendly but also surprisingly durable. The matching wooden clips and string add a lovely contrast, giving my photos a charming, vintage appearance. The DIY nature of these frames is another highlight - they're incredibly easy to install and hang, making them accessible for everyone, regardless of their experience with DIY projects. These frames aren't just for personal use, they're perfect for gifting too. They're versatile enough to be used as wedding, engagement, anniversary, or birthday gifts. Their ability to add a touch of elegance and charm to any setting is truly remarkable. However, one minor drawback is that they're 4x6 inches, which may not accommodate larger photos. But overall, these Cardboard Picture Frames have been a fantastic addition to my home, adding a touch of personalized charm and retro vibe that I absolutely adore. 🔗30 Pcs Kraft Cardboard Photo Frames with Wood Clips and Jute Twinehttps://preview.redd.it/iuyowrgx2c1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1f2a981cd5b427918fee4bc478ea26a13037cc72 I recently purchased the Novelty Bank Paper Photo Frame set and it has been a game-changer for displaying my favorite memories. The simple yet elegant design of these 30 kraft paper frames sets off my photos perfectly. The art paper used is thick and flat, and the full back protects my pictures from dust and oxidation. Measuring 6 1/8 INCH tall by 4 1/2 INCH wide, with a window sized 4 INCH by 3 INCH, these frames are the perfect accessory for adding a touch of charm to my rooms and walls. One feature I particularly love is the adjustable design, which allows me to customize the size of the window to fit different sized photos. The included wooden clips and jute string make it easy to hang these frames wherever I want, creating a visually appealing display that is sure to impress. However, I did experience a minor issue with the quality of the jute string. It was slightly frayed and snapped after a few uses. Despite this, the overall quality of the product more than compensates for this small flaw, and I highly recommend these DIY Cardboard Photo Frames for anyone looking to enhance their space with personalized memories. 🔗DIY Cardboard Easel Photo Frames (50 Pack) 4x6 Inches 10 Colorshttps://preview.redd.it/oaeqs2sx2c1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b8a13dccd18269a0890d944c225c5c21be7d388 I recently started using the Juvale Cardboard Photo Picture Frames to display some of my favorite memories and I absolutely fell in love with them. These little frames are not only versatile in terms of placement- standing vertically or horizontally- but also offer a variety of bright colors like yellow, light pink, and green, that make your photos pop. One feature that stood out for me was how easy they are to customize. You can embellish them with paints, rhinestones, glitter, stickers and other decorative elements, making each frame as unique as the person who owns it. However, there's a minor downside too. When using bigger hands, inserting the photos into the frame can be a bit challenging. But other than that, these photo frames are perfect for displaying your special memories! I've used these photo frames for displaying my daughter's adorable drawings, my favorite wedding photos, and even used them as party decorations. They really brighten up any space! If you're looking to add a touch of personalization and color to your photos, the Juvale Cardboard Photo Picture Frames won't disappoint you! Buyer's GuideWhether you're looking to add a unique touch to your home decor or wanting to gift someone special, cardboard picture frames are an affordable and eco-friendly option. This buyer's guide will take you through the important features, considerations, and general advice about choosing the perfect cardboard picture frame for your needs.Features to Considerhttps://preview.redd.it/33ldsr213c1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f159cb1b1d52506969e96b7d953f0c105979896d
ConsiderationsWhen selecting cardboard picture frames, it's essential to think about how they will be displayed. If you plan to hang them on a wall, ensure they have an integrated hanging mechanism or that you can easily attach one. Additionally, consider the durability of the cardboard material, especially if the frame will be exposed to varying temperatures or humidity levels.General Advice
https://preview.redd.it/8pt3crh13c1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=79436cee148e7778d97f678aeed5f805c9c536b1 FAQ1. What are cardboard picture frames?Cardboard picture frames are affordable, lightweight, and eco-friendly alternatives to traditional frames made from wood, metal, or plastic. They are often customizable and can display photos or artwork in various sizes.2. How do cardboard picture frames compare to other types of frames?https://preview.redd.it/naxaprv13c1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=89ec506e34f468bacdd367f2e82950d8ef2a475c Cardboard frames are generally more affordable and lightweight than other types of frames. However, they may not offer the same level of durability or sturdiness as wood or metal frames. Cardboard frames are also eco-friendly, as they use recycled materials in their construction. 3. Are cardboard picture frames customizable?Yes, many cardboard picture frames come with the option for customization. This may include choosing between different colors, patterns, or sizes. Some cardboard frames also allow for personalized messages or designs on the frame itself.4. Can cardboard picture frames display photos and artwork?Yes, cardboard picture frames can display both photos and artwork, depending on the design of the frame. Some frames come with adjustable stands or hooks, allowing them to be displayed on tables, shelves, or walls. https://preview.redd.it/1enr5q923c1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=03e6f94c4fee79b3311c7e5157c06c21388d3e96 5. How do I care for my cardboard picture frame?To care for your cardboard picture frame, handle it gently and avoid exposing it to excessive moisture or heat. Dust the frame regularly with a soft brush or cloth and store it in a cool, dry place when not in use.6. How much do cardboard picture frames cost?The cost of cardboard picture frames varies depending on the design, size, and customization options. Generally, they are more affordable than traditional frames made from wood, metal, or plastic.7. Where can I purchase cardboard picture frames?Cardboard picture frames can be purchased at various stores, both online and offline, that specialize in home decor, stationery, and art supplies. Major retailers and marketplaces like Amazon and Etsy also offer a wide selection of cardboard picture frames.8. Are cardboard picture frames suitable for outdoor use?While some cardboard frames may be suitable for indoor use, it is not recommended to use them outdoors, as they are more susceptible to moisture damage and less able to withstand harsh weather conditions compared to traditional frames.9. Can I recycle a cardboard picture frame?Yes, cardboard picture frames are generally made from recycled materials and can be recycled again at the end of their useful life. Ensure that you recycle the frame with other paper products, following your local recycling guidelines.10. How do I assemble a cardboard picture frame?Assembling a cardboard picture frame usually involves a few simple steps, such as sliding the photo or artwork into the frame, attaching the back panel, and securing any hooks or stands for display.
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2024.05.19 08:50 Gloomy-Worldliness67 ang boyfriend kong nonchalant
I (20F) have a boyfriend (21M) of almost 2 years. yep turning 2 yrs this august. I know overrated na yung word na nonchalant, pero ganyan sya eh. idk if this is normal ba o sadyang di lang talaga tipo yung ganitong love language.
hindi ko nafefeel yung gigil towards sakin sa personal. hindi ko nararanasan na nilalambing at cinocompliment ako personally haha. sa almost 2 yrs na rs namin, bilang lang ata yung times sinabihan niyang maganda ako. first date namin, gandang ganda nya sakin. sobrang vocal tapos pinipicturan ako kahit may ginagawa. pero tumagal, nagiing nonchalant eh hahahahaha
for background: overall, mas attractive ako kaysa sa kanya. model ako sa promotional poster ng school namin, may nagscscout sakin for pageant pero dinedecline ko, andami kong suitors before and sabi pa nila ang swerte raw ng bf ko sakin. pero bat ganun?? mas madalas pa magcompliment friends ko sa school kesa sa jowa ko :(( ang fresh ko raw, ang ganda ko, deserve ko raw sumali ng Miss Dentistry na magrepresent sa batch namin. lahat yan sinasabi nila sakin in person. pero yung bf ko? hanggang chat lang nagcocompliment di ko rin feel na patay na patay sya sakin hahahahaha.
pero wala syang iba ah. sobrang faithful nya saken at kahit celebrity crush wala nga sya e. puro shoes at damit inaatupag. wala akong pinagdududahan sa kanya. it's just that, hindi lang sya ganon ka expressive.
ang lungkot talaga andaming nagagandahan sakin at naging suitors ko pero yung bf ko kahit anniversary o monthsary hindi man lang ako cinocompliment personally HAHAHAHA puta naiinggit nalang ako sa tiktok eh kung saan napaka vocal at expressive ng lalaki tas sinasabihan pang "answerte ko sayo" sa gf nila. when kaya???
sinabihan ko na sya about nito kahapon, nag sorry sya and sabi nya tatry nyang bumawi. pero ayoko mag expect kasi andami ko nang requests before na gawin nya personally, nagagawa nga pero hindi consistent :///
inassure nya naman sakin na sobrang mahal nya ako kahit hindi sya ganon ka expressive. idk hahahaha tinanggap ko nalang. nalilito ako if i should be alarmed if ganon nya ba ko talaga ka mahal, e bat ayaw nya iexpress fully? more on sa chat lang sya, pero feel ko kulang parin yung compliment at lambing na nakukuha ko sa kanya.
minsan naiisip ko if ever di kami mag work out, at least i have to set my standards higher na hahahaha. medjo ayaw ko na sa ganitong setup, above average naman looks ko (sabi nila) pero diko feel na ako pinakamaganda para sa kanya kahit wala siyang iba. kasali na rin hindi nya ako masyadong hinahug o nilalambing in public and private places (na parang bang nanggigigil sa bata) gusto ko sana non hahahaha hindi man lang magawa sakin
masakit pero kailangan tanggapin, mahal ko eh hahahahaha
submitted by Gloomy-Worldliness67 to OffMyChestPH [link] [comments]
hindi ko nafefeel yung gigil towards sakin sa personal. hindi ko nararanasan na nilalambing at cinocompliment ako personally haha. sa almost 2 yrs na rs namin, bilang lang ata yung times sinabihan niyang maganda ako. first date namin, gandang ganda nya sakin. sobrang vocal tapos pinipicturan ako kahit may ginagawa. pero tumagal, nagiing nonchalant eh hahahahaha
for background: overall, mas attractive ako kaysa sa kanya. model ako sa promotional poster ng school namin, may nagscscout sakin for pageant pero dinedecline ko, andami kong suitors before and sabi pa nila ang swerte raw ng bf ko sakin. pero bat ganun?? mas madalas pa magcompliment friends ko sa school kesa sa jowa ko :(( ang fresh ko raw, ang ganda ko, deserve ko raw sumali ng Miss Dentistry na magrepresent sa batch namin. lahat yan sinasabi nila sakin in person. pero yung bf ko? hanggang chat lang nagcocompliment di ko rin feel na patay na patay sya sakin hahahahaha.
pero wala syang iba ah. sobrang faithful nya saken at kahit celebrity crush wala nga sya e. puro shoes at damit inaatupag. wala akong pinagdududahan sa kanya. it's just that, hindi lang sya ganon ka expressive.
ang lungkot talaga andaming nagagandahan sakin at naging suitors ko pero yung bf ko kahit anniversary o monthsary hindi man lang ako cinocompliment personally HAHAHAHA puta naiinggit nalang ako sa tiktok eh kung saan napaka vocal at expressive ng lalaki tas sinasabihan pang "answerte ko sayo" sa gf nila. when kaya???
sinabihan ko na sya about nito kahapon, nag sorry sya and sabi nya tatry nyang bumawi. pero ayoko mag expect kasi andami ko nang requests before na gawin nya personally, nagagawa nga pero hindi consistent :///
inassure nya naman sakin na sobrang mahal nya ako kahit hindi sya ganon ka expressive. idk hahahaha tinanggap ko nalang. nalilito ako if i should be alarmed if ganon nya ba ko talaga ka mahal, e bat ayaw nya iexpress fully? more on sa chat lang sya, pero feel ko kulang parin yung compliment at lambing na nakukuha ko sa kanya.
minsan naiisip ko if ever di kami mag work out, at least i have to set my standards higher na hahahaha. medjo ayaw ko na sa ganitong setup, above average naman looks ko (sabi nila) pero diko feel na ako pinakamaganda para sa kanya kahit wala siyang iba. kasali na rin hindi nya ako masyadong hinahug o nilalambing in public and private places (na parang bang nanggigigil sa bata) gusto ko sana non hahahaha hindi man lang magawa sakin
masakit pero kailangan tanggapin, mahal ko eh hahahahaha
2024.05.19 08:43 Best_Entrepreneur885 I’ve filled so much of my boyfriends cup I’ve left my own empty
I’ve been in a relationship for over two years with my current boyfriend and I’m happy but there’s always this part in the back of my heart that feels like this relationship isn’t mentally or physically satisfying me. for the past two years I’ve poured my everything into this relationship. I’ve always gone above and beyond for my boyfriend, whether it came to birthdays, anniversaries, him graduating school, and even small achievements. If we go on a date, I’m the one planning everything in the one making the plans. I take care of absolutely everything and I never feel appreciated or thought of.
On my birthday last year, he had absolutely nothing planned. he gave me a gift which was a kind gesture, but he didn’t have anything planned for the day. no reservations no movie tickets booked, nothing. When I asked him where we were going he just said “oh idk how to plan for these kinds of things you figure it out” because he never reserved anything and it was so last minute we ended up having to go to a chain restaurant that closed in an hour. for my birthday this year, he bought me perfume. which he didn’t even pick out himself. he just decided to meet me at the mall and have me pick it out and left after buying me it. he had a migraine and couldn’t take me out to celebrate but promised he would take me out another time. we never did end up going out and I didn’t end up celebrating with him.
now, for the last two years I’ve gone above and beyond for his birthday. I would reserve places months in advance and plan the entire day for him so he could feel appreciated. last year for his birthday, I bought him a bunch of stuff he uses or has been wanting, we went out for dinner and spent the night together and I even surprised him with a cake. the year before that I took him out for dinner and had a hotel decorated for him. but I in return have never received any gesture like this. I’ve communicated with him about how I always feel like he never plans or does anything nice for me and he says he just doesn’t know these things like I do. I’ve stopped asking for so much from him because I’ve just become so emotionally exhausted that I’d rather keep my mouth closed than have to deal with his excuses. I just want to feel appreciated, I want to feel like I’m being thought of, and I wanna feel like I’m deserving of the love I give out. I don’t know what to do or how to approach the relationship at this point. I love him but it’s so hard maintaining a relationship that feels like you’re giving out 90% and they’re only giving 10%.
submitted by Best_Entrepreneur885 to offmychest [link] [comments]
On my birthday last year, he had absolutely nothing planned. he gave me a gift which was a kind gesture, but he didn’t have anything planned for the day. no reservations no movie tickets booked, nothing. When I asked him where we were going he just said “oh idk how to plan for these kinds of things you figure it out” because he never reserved anything and it was so last minute we ended up having to go to a chain restaurant that closed in an hour. for my birthday this year, he bought me perfume. which he didn’t even pick out himself. he just decided to meet me at the mall and have me pick it out and left after buying me it. he had a migraine and couldn’t take me out to celebrate but promised he would take me out another time. we never did end up going out and I didn’t end up celebrating with him.
now, for the last two years I’ve gone above and beyond for his birthday. I would reserve places months in advance and plan the entire day for him so he could feel appreciated. last year for his birthday, I bought him a bunch of stuff he uses or has been wanting, we went out for dinner and spent the night together and I even surprised him with a cake. the year before that I took him out for dinner and had a hotel decorated for him. but I in return have never received any gesture like this. I’ve communicated with him about how I always feel like he never plans or does anything nice for me and he says he just doesn’t know these things like I do. I’ve stopped asking for so much from him because I’ve just become so emotionally exhausted that I’d rather keep my mouth closed than have to deal with his excuses. I just want to feel appreciated, I want to feel like I’m being thought of, and I wanna feel like I’m deserving of the love I give out. I don’t know what to do or how to approach the relationship at this point. I love him but it’s so hard maintaining a relationship that feels like you’re giving out 90% and they’re only giving 10%.
2024.05.19 08:41 Silent_Radio5410 I cut ties with my ex best friend.
A few years ago during that time when I was in high school, me and my ex friend went to different schools, I wanted to go to the same school as her but I couldn't since it was too far.
I told her that I couldn't go to the same school but she told me she was glad I didn't go to the same place as her because if I did, me and her wouldn't be friends at all.
You know the reason why she said that? She said if I went there, other people would take me away from her and that she would hate me which I found that stupid. Fast forward a few years later I had a boyfriend during college (he's now an ex) When I went out to town with my family, she called to me crying (while I was in a resturant) because apparently I've been ghosting her and ignoring her saying I've been too busy to even talk.
During this time I was struggling with my mental health, my relationship and college, She would start arguments with me saying I don't have time for her, not texting back saying I'm drifting away from her. Not to mention she wrote a poem about me(I have the poem on my phone) , I didn't know what to say and she asked you're not mad I wrote a poem about you? You won't sue me right?
And I was like it's fine but in my head it wasn't fine. She would make it about herself, I listened to her constantly complaining and she would trauma dump the past. She brought up the fact I didn't turn up to choir practice while I was getting bullied.
She blamed me for that not the girl who bullied me, not to mention she and the bully were friends on Facebook, the girl who bullied me would talk trash about me to her and she would tell me the horrible things the bully said about me, I was so hurt and betrayed yet I still kept her as a friend.
2 years go by and this was before Covid hit, the day she arrived I took her to my dance practice so she could watch before my day. She complained saying that she's tired, didn't take her meds, telling me she wasted her money to come visit me. I was embarrassed when she was having a tantrum infront of everyone that I had to take her somewhere else.
It felt like a burning iron everytime she complained I was flustered and I felt tired just by listening to her. On the evening the day before my birthday party, there was no food at the house since my mother was busy preparing for my debut. She hasnt eaten food or taken her meds but blamed me again, so we both had to walk to mcdonalds in the evening around 8pm just for her to eat.
The day of my birthday party, everything was going well, I introduced her to my college friends and others but after the party we went back to our rooms getting ready for bed, she asked me why didn't you introduce me to those boys? Why didn't you spend time with me? I didn't know what to say anymore because I was tired genuinely that we didn't talk until morning.
Then after a few days I haven't heard from her, She was talking to one of my guy friends but the thing is she would only talk to me if she had problems with him and would come crying in call and texting me about it. I have been reassuring her every time she had problems with my guy friend and it was tiring, he even mentioned to me she was controlling and bossy and he was right .
I never complained about anything between me and her but she wanted to make problems that I didn't talk to her or wasn't talking to her enough, I gave her space and I gave myself space but she still complained why I didn't message her but I did several times but in other days I wouldn't talk to her because I was scared.
I never talked about my mental problems and my trauma with my SA past to her because she'll make me feel worse and trauma dump and mention the past about me leaving her repeatedly when I was bullied by the same girl she was friends with.
I wanted to cut ties with her but I was afraid that she will get mad at me because she had issues with her behaviour for always getting angry and shouting at me when we get into an argument in call and would blame me.
But I was genuinely afraid at the same time losing my only friend because I had no one else to talk to. After a month or two I was messaging her and she brought up the vaccine topic, during that time she was a student nurse and I didn't really want to talk about it but she insisted telling me I should take the vaccine. If I didn't take it apparently I would affect her "family, friends and patients" but what about me? What am I to her? Me and her live in different cities 1 hr away from each other, so how can I affect them if I live so far away? That doesn't make sense.
She told me If I didn't take it she told me people would think I'm a dirty pest and a scumbag.
I was so done, honestly so done after she posted our private conversation on her private story but apparently she deleted it afterwards just for me to see? Not sure if I believe that. I blocked her on every social media and after that I felt better, the heavy burden I held for so long was gone. I was happier without her.
I never even got birthday gifts from her even when I gave hers every year so I stopped gifting her. I wasted 9 years of friendship and stopped trusting people after that.
submitted by Silent_Radio5410 to ExBestFriends [link] [comments]
I told her that I couldn't go to the same school but she told me she was glad I didn't go to the same place as her because if I did, me and her wouldn't be friends at all.
You know the reason why she said that? She said if I went there, other people would take me away from her and that she would hate me which I found that stupid. Fast forward a few years later I had a boyfriend during college (he's now an ex) When I went out to town with my family, she called to me crying (while I was in a resturant) because apparently I've been ghosting her and ignoring her saying I've been too busy to even talk.
During this time I was struggling with my mental health, my relationship and college, She would start arguments with me saying I don't have time for her, not texting back saying I'm drifting away from her. Not to mention she wrote a poem about me(I have the poem on my phone) , I didn't know what to say and she asked you're not mad I wrote a poem about you? You won't sue me right?
And I was like it's fine but in my head it wasn't fine. She would make it about herself, I listened to her constantly complaining and she would trauma dump the past. She brought up the fact I didn't turn up to choir practice while I was getting bullied.
She blamed me for that not the girl who bullied me, not to mention she and the bully were friends on Facebook, the girl who bullied me would talk trash about me to her and she would tell me the horrible things the bully said about me, I was so hurt and betrayed yet I still kept her as a friend.
2 years go by and this was before Covid hit, the day she arrived I took her to my dance practice so she could watch before my day. She complained saying that she's tired, didn't take her meds, telling me she wasted her money to come visit me. I was embarrassed when she was having a tantrum infront of everyone that I had to take her somewhere else.
It felt like a burning iron everytime she complained I was flustered and I felt tired just by listening to her. On the evening the day before my birthday party, there was no food at the house since my mother was busy preparing for my debut. She hasnt eaten food or taken her meds but blamed me again, so we both had to walk to mcdonalds in the evening around 8pm just for her to eat.
The day of my birthday party, everything was going well, I introduced her to my college friends and others but after the party we went back to our rooms getting ready for bed, she asked me why didn't you introduce me to those boys? Why didn't you spend time with me? I didn't know what to say anymore because I was tired genuinely that we didn't talk until morning.
Then after a few days I haven't heard from her, She was talking to one of my guy friends but the thing is she would only talk to me if she had problems with him and would come crying in call and texting me about it. I have been reassuring her every time she had problems with my guy friend and it was tiring, he even mentioned to me she was controlling and bossy and he was right .
I never complained about anything between me and her but she wanted to make problems that I didn't talk to her or wasn't talking to her enough, I gave her space and I gave myself space but she still complained why I didn't message her but I did several times but in other days I wouldn't talk to her because I was scared.
I never talked about my mental problems and my trauma with my SA past to her because she'll make me feel worse and trauma dump and mention the past about me leaving her repeatedly when I was bullied by the same girl she was friends with.
I wanted to cut ties with her but I was afraid that she will get mad at me because she had issues with her behaviour for always getting angry and shouting at me when we get into an argument in call and would blame me.
But I was genuinely afraid at the same time losing my only friend because I had no one else to talk to. After a month or two I was messaging her and she brought up the vaccine topic, during that time she was a student nurse and I didn't really want to talk about it but she insisted telling me I should take the vaccine. If I didn't take it apparently I would affect her "family, friends and patients" but what about me? What am I to her? Me and her live in different cities 1 hr away from each other, so how can I affect them if I live so far away? That doesn't make sense.
She told me If I didn't take it she told me people would think I'm a dirty pest and a scumbag.
I was so done, honestly so done after she posted our private conversation on her private story but apparently she deleted it afterwards just for me to see? Not sure if I believe that. I blocked her on every social media and after that I felt better, the heavy burden I held for so long was gone. I was happier without her.
I never even got birthday gifts from her even when I gave hers every year so I stopped gifting her. I wasted 9 years of friendship and stopped trusting people after that.
2024.05.19 08:33 JeySy69 Visiting Barcelona
Hello!
This summer, my girlfriend and I have planned a trip to Barcelona to celebrate our anniversary, and I have some questions.
submitted by JeySy69 to AskBarcelona [link] [comments]
This summer, my girlfriend and I have planned a trip to Barcelona to celebrate our anniversary, and I have some questions.
- Could you please advise me on where we should get a public transportation card and how much it costs?
- What restaurants should we visit to have a nice time and good food without getting ripped off?
- Besides the famous sightseeing spots, what else should we check out?
- Does taking a taxi from the airport cost a fortune?
- Do the staff in restaurants speak English?
- Is it cheap to rent a car?
- Are there many thieves?
- Which part of town should we avoid?
- Do you guys have long and tiring traffic jams?
- What is the minimum budget that I should have for an 8-day stay?
- How early should we arrive in airport for the departure?
2024.05.19 08:21 Present_Library_9431 should i say sorry to her?
so there was this classmate i had crush on for years. she friendzoned me after a while. when i confessed after sometime while in the friendzone, she said that she was really unhappy that a friend of her did this. i said sorry and lied that i was forced by my friends to say that i like her. after a while, we used to talk on text a lot. she got a boyfriend after a while too. we used to talk till late sometimes and share our happenings in life. i was innocent back then, and immature. some months ago, i came to know how girls friendzone for the sake of attention. the situation matched too well. i started avoiding her. i felt so disgusted and bad with a feeling of being used. i used to help her with homework, would gift her card and all on her birthdays. i used to reply to her texts instantly. after months of avoiding her, she texted me today. i just told how i see her just as someone who makes friends just to seek attention. she said that im a fool. i didn't see her efforts. efforts like staying up late just to talk with me and make me feel better. i just told i don't ever wanna see her again, after what she did to me. she would insist me to spend time with her and her boyfriend irl. which imo was to create a sense of jealously in me. i kinda hate her now. she always gave me mixed signals. but it took a whole year for me to move on, thanks to my doubts that she was an attention seeker. wish i knew about all this when i was young, atleast i would've gone out of the friendzone earlier then. anyways, but now i feel a little guilty. what if she was not an attention seeker and really was nice. but a part of me still says that what i did was good. i'm confused. should i say sorry to her or should i just never text her ever again.
tldr - crush made me friend. i confessed but she continued friendship and used to give mixed signals. i started avoiding her, and today just broke all contacts by telling her everything. was what i did wrong?
submitted by Present_Library_9431 to IndianTeenagers [link] [comments]
tldr - crush made me friend. i confessed but she continued friendship and used to give mixed signals. i started avoiding her, and today just broke all contacts by telling her everything. was what i did wrong?
2024.05.19 07:29 leftfriendbehind AITAH for leaving my friend behind at Disneyland?
Obligatory throwaway account as my main user is known by friend mentioned.
I (20F) was invited to a vacation back in December by my friend (21F) to Disneyland. My friend, let’s call her Mary, invited me to this trip back in February of last year. We have known each other for over 8 years and this seemed like a no brainer to me to say yes. This trip comprised of six people: Mary, Mary’s sister Lucy (19F), Mary’s Mom, Mom’s boyfriend, boyfriend’s son, and myself.
For context, Mary and Lucy’s dad passed a few years back and mom got a new boyfriend pretty soon after. The sisters were not happy with this as boyfriend and son moved into their house. Because of this, we were separated into groups to do our own things, me & the sisters and then mom, boyfriend, & son. We were pretty happy with this arrangement as it allowed us to be independent and go at our own pace.
For this trip, the mom got a resort for all of us to stay at. As I was invited, I did not pay for my accommodation, only for my own traveling and food. We stayed for a whole week and had some rest days in between parks (important later on)
Fast forward and it is our first day at Disneyland. We get up early and go to the first park and start going on rides. Everything seems fine so far but then Mary chimes in that Lucy and I start walking too fast to get around. I tell her that I’m used to walking fast from past vacations so she can just yell at me to slow down and I will. Through the day she does tell me to slow down and I do! First day ends and the next day is a rest day.
I have never been on a vacation before with rest days and I am used to constantly doing something every day. I suggest to Mary and Lucy about going on universal for one of our rest days and they both say no thanks. I start planning on going by myself until I remember I have an online friend online that I would love to meet up with at the park. We then set plans to meet on the Fourth Day. I did try my hardest to convince both Mary and Lucy to come with me to universal but they were pretty stubborn in not going.
Third Day comes around and everything goes to shit. We get there pretty early because we wanted to get in line for a really popular ride. As we are scanning our cards to get in the park, Mary’s card is not scanning correctly. I look back towards Lucy who motions me to run ahead and grab us a place in line. I get in line and message in our group chat where I’m at. Now this is where I admit I messed up. Lucy messages that Mary doesn’t feel comfortable cutting ahead in line and I get a bit angry. I tell them I’m not moving from my place in line and they need to come up where I’m at. Lucy then says that Mary doesn’t feel good and they leave the line., telling me to go ahead
At this point my mind is just like WTF?! I leave the line and catch up to them but Mary walks away as soon as I get close. Lucy tells me that Mary is really angry and doesn’t want to talk right now. We both decide to let her cool off and talk about it later. Well the rest of the day goes by and we don’t see her again. I wasn’t in contact with Mary for the rest of the day but Lucy, throughout the day, tries to get her to come back. We find out later that Mary joined the other group for the day and went on the rest of the rides with them.
The fourth day comes around and I go out to see my friend at universal. When I go back to the resort, Lucy informs me that she had to sleep on the floor last night because Mary refused to share a bed with her. Lucy then shares a a bed with me for the rest of the trip and we decide to keep doing our thing until everyone cools off.
The fifth and sixth day come and pass, with me and Lucy by ourselves exploring the other parks. The seventh day comes and it is time to fly back home. We go to the airport together as a group but Lucy and I sit away from them on the plane as there is no assigned seating. I get picked up from the airport and trip is over.
It’s super close to Christmas so I don’t talk to Mary or Lucy. It isn’t until after the new year where me and Mary exchange conversations. From my perspective, I thought this was just something minor that would eventually look back upon and laugh but I was so wrong. I drop by Mary’s house to pay back some of the vacation money I owed her and we are chatting it up like nothing. Everything seems fine to me! A few weeks pass and our new school semester begins. I invite her out a few times but she claims school is giving her no time for breaks with fair enough. I stop reaching out as I also got busy then out of nowhere I get a message from Mary saying she wants to cut contact and considers our friendship over. Let me tell you I was devastated. I sent a message back but I think she blocked me and never saw it.
After a month of thinking about everything, I reach out to Lucy telling her that herself as well as Mary are still welcome to my house at any time as I know their home situation. She responds well and we meet up in secret to discuss everything. Turns out at home, her whole family turned against her blaming me and her for ruining the trip. Mary is also really mad that I went to go see my friend at Universal. Things eventually mellowed out and she’s back on speaking terms with Mary but the rest of the family are all fighting against each other for other reasons I won’t mention. Lucy told me she would try mentioning rekindling our friendship with Mary but then later let me know Mary is not interested at all.
Well, now I’m just kinda stuck here waiting to see what comes next. I still love Mary so much as a friend so it just kinda sucks this is were we are at. I know I should have reached out at some point to apologize but it just seemed so ridiculous that Mary couldn’t even tell me why she was upset directly, I had to get all my information from Lucy.
TLDR: I left my friend behind at Disney, she got upset and cut contact months later saying she doesn’t want to be friends anymore.
submitted by leftfriendbehind to AITAH [link] [comments]
I (20F) was invited to a vacation back in December by my friend (21F) to Disneyland. My friend, let’s call her Mary, invited me to this trip back in February of last year. We have known each other for over 8 years and this seemed like a no brainer to me to say yes. This trip comprised of six people: Mary, Mary’s sister Lucy (19F), Mary’s Mom, Mom’s boyfriend, boyfriend’s son, and myself.
For context, Mary and Lucy’s dad passed a few years back and mom got a new boyfriend pretty soon after. The sisters were not happy with this as boyfriend and son moved into their house. Because of this, we were separated into groups to do our own things, me & the sisters and then mom, boyfriend, & son. We were pretty happy with this arrangement as it allowed us to be independent and go at our own pace.
For this trip, the mom got a resort for all of us to stay at. As I was invited, I did not pay for my accommodation, only for my own traveling and food. We stayed for a whole week and had some rest days in between parks (important later on)
Fast forward and it is our first day at Disneyland. We get up early and go to the first park and start going on rides. Everything seems fine so far but then Mary chimes in that Lucy and I start walking too fast to get around. I tell her that I’m used to walking fast from past vacations so she can just yell at me to slow down and I will. Through the day she does tell me to slow down and I do! First day ends and the next day is a rest day.
I have never been on a vacation before with rest days and I am used to constantly doing something every day. I suggest to Mary and Lucy about going on universal for one of our rest days and they both say no thanks. I start planning on going by myself until I remember I have an online friend online that I would love to meet up with at the park. We then set plans to meet on the Fourth Day. I did try my hardest to convince both Mary and Lucy to come with me to universal but they were pretty stubborn in not going.
Third Day comes around and everything goes to shit. We get there pretty early because we wanted to get in line for a really popular ride. As we are scanning our cards to get in the park, Mary’s card is not scanning correctly. I look back towards Lucy who motions me to run ahead and grab us a place in line. I get in line and message in our group chat where I’m at. Now this is where I admit I messed up. Lucy messages that Mary doesn’t feel comfortable cutting ahead in line and I get a bit angry. I tell them I’m not moving from my place in line and they need to come up where I’m at. Lucy then says that Mary doesn’t feel good and they leave the line., telling me to go ahead
At this point my mind is just like WTF?! I leave the line and catch up to them but Mary walks away as soon as I get close. Lucy tells me that Mary is really angry and doesn’t want to talk right now. We both decide to let her cool off and talk about it later. Well the rest of the day goes by and we don’t see her again. I wasn’t in contact with Mary for the rest of the day but Lucy, throughout the day, tries to get her to come back. We find out later that Mary joined the other group for the day and went on the rest of the rides with them.
The fourth day comes around and I go out to see my friend at universal. When I go back to the resort, Lucy informs me that she had to sleep on the floor last night because Mary refused to share a bed with her. Lucy then shares a a bed with me for the rest of the trip and we decide to keep doing our thing until everyone cools off.
The fifth and sixth day come and pass, with me and Lucy by ourselves exploring the other parks. The seventh day comes and it is time to fly back home. We go to the airport together as a group but Lucy and I sit away from them on the plane as there is no assigned seating. I get picked up from the airport and trip is over.
It’s super close to Christmas so I don’t talk to Mary or Lucy. It isn’t until after the new year where me and Mary exchange conversations. From my perspective, I thought this was just something minor that would eventually look back upon and laugh but I was so wrong. I drop by Mary’s house to pay back some of the vacation money I owed her and we are chatting it up like nothing. Everything seems fine to me! A few weeks pass and our new school semester begins. I invite her out a few times but she claims school is giving her no time for breaks with fair enough. I stop reaching out as I also got busy then out of nowhere I get a message from Mary saying she wants to cut contact and considers our friendship over. Let me tell you I was devastated. I sent a message back but I think she blocked me and never saw it.
After a month of thinking about everything, I reach out to Lucy telling her that herself as well as Mary are still welcome to my house at any time as I know their home situation. She responds well and we meet up in secret to discuss everything. Turns out at home, her whole family turned against her blaming me and her for ruining the trip. Mary is also really mad that I went to go see my friend at Universal. Things eventually mellowed out and she’s back on speaking terms with Mary but the rest of the family are all fighting against each other for other reasons I won’t mention. Lucy told me she would try mentioning rekindling our friendship with Mary but then later let me know Mary is not interested at all.
Well, now I’m just kinda stuck here waiting to see what comes next. I still love Mary so much as a friend so it just kinda sucks this is were we are at. I know I should have reached out at some point to apologize but it just seemed so ridiculous that Mary couldn’t even tell me why she was upset directly, I had to get all my information from Lucy.
TLDR: I left my friend behind at Disney, she got upset and cut contact months later saying she doesn’t want to be friends anymore.
2024.05.19 07:18 proteenator The secret to not losing a lot of money is is to not re-fund your brokerage account
So this is how the story of most regards here goes - Put in some money - Get some ape first timer luck gains and try and replicate it for the next trade. Fail spectacularly but keep trying - End up losing most of your capital. Complain that you cannot afford any more SPY calls and REFILL your account.
See THATS your problem. Don't refill. If you're really good (and/or getting better as your ape brain is telling you), you should be able to convert $1 to $2. $2 to $4. $4 to $8 - You get the drift. You were dumb enough to lose the first 10k you put in. Now that additional 10k that you refilled is not giving you additional brains. Go and play with the leftover $3.5 and earn your way back up. And if you can't then thank me that your all time loss is just a fraction of your net worth as opposed to your entire net worth + all your + your wife's + your wife's boyfriends maxed out credit cards.
I am not sure whether to flair this as discussion or meme. Mods please guide me. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
submitted by proteenator to wallstreetbets [link] [comments]
See THATS your problem. Don't refill. If you're really good (and/or getting better as your ape brain is telling you), you should be able to convert $1 to $2. $2 to $4. $4 to $8 - You get the drift. You were dumb enough to lose the first 10k you put in. Now that additional 10k that you refilled is not giving you additional brains. Go and play with the leftover $3.5 and earn your way back up. And if you can't then thank me that your all time loss is just a fraction of your net worth as opposed to your entire net worth + all your + your wife's + your wife's boyfriends maxed out credit cards.
I am not sure whether to flair this as discussion or meme. Mods please guide me. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
2024.05.19 07:04 Ok_Start1379 Do you think therapy can help me (27F) and my (ex)fiancé (28M) repair our relationship?
My (ex)fiancé and I had been together for almost 6.5 years, engaged for almost 2.5. Over the last several months, my (ex)fiancé has sat me down to talk about our relationship about once a month. Before these conversations, he would shut down and barely speak to me for several days even when I would ask what was wrong. Then he would finally tell me he was ready to have a conversation and would express his frustrations with the relationship. By the time of our conversations, I would already be on the defensive from his recent behavior. I also generally do not receive feedback well. When he would try to tell me that he was unhappy in our relationship because I didn't compliment him enough, flirt with him enough, or tell him I loved him enough, I would shut down. I was not able to hear what he was really trying to tell me. Instead, I put up a wall and told him to love me for who I am. I basically asked him "If I'm happy in our relationship despite my frustrations, why can't you be?" I now realize that is not an appropriate or healthy response when your partner is trying to communicate with you.
I did try to hear him. I gifted him some lingerie for the first time and let him take a boudoir photo shoot of me wearing it. I started sending a few more cute messages. I tried to make more time to cuddle with him when he would ask. I tried to give him more hugs. I tried to thank him more for picking up around the house. I wrote him a cute letter and surprised him with a few gifts for Easter. However, about a month ago, we had another one of those conversations. Except this time the first things he brought up were 'wondering what else is out there' and talking about how other girls are always complimenting him. Again came the walls and extra defensiveness. I ended up writing him a letter talking about how I didn't know if I could ever be what he wanted me to be and that maybe he should think about calling things off. This was obviously a defense mechanism to try to beat him to the punch line and talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Three weeks later he would sit me down and tell me he wanted to know what else was out there again and that he didn't know if he could go through with marrying me. My efforts did not feel like enough for him and I understand why. I was having a hard time connecting my emotions with my actions which made my actions seem reactionary and not genuine or provoked by love.
I have been through a lot more trauma in my life than I realized. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up. We had to move every three years. A very pivotal point in my life was when we moved when I was in the 6th grade. I lived right next door to my best friend. I was finding my love for math and theater. I also played soccer and was a Girl Scout. When we moved, I became very depressed, though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. I stopped all of my extracurricular activities. I stopped getting too close to people because I knew I would have to move or they would have to move eventually. I mostly stayed in my room and kept to myself, even from my family. I also have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, in my senior year of high school, I got my first-ever boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over 4 years. In that relationship, I would always be the one to try to talk about our problems. I would be the one who would always want longer hugs and more cuddles. But it was not a healthy relationship. We broke up and got back together many times. I found several illicit texts to other girls on multiple occasions and he would always gaslight me by saying his younger brother stole his phone or I misinterpreted the messages. I think this caused me not to want to show my emotions because it wasn't reciprocated and resulted in heartache. Then, three years ago my younger brother died in a tragic car accident at the age of 17.
When I realized I could lose the love of my life, I realized that he was right about me not being affectionate enough. I had built up walls to protect myself. I thought I had made progress on my anxiety and depression, but I realized I was wrong. I also realized that I have issues with communication, trust, and vulnerability. I was a great partner in other ways and I did express my love in other ways. I moved across the country, coast to coast, with him to a state where I didn't know anyone so that he could attend his dream school. I take care of the household. I get the majority of the groceries. I do all of the cooking. I do all of the maintenance cleaning. I take care of our 2 cats and 1 dog. I say all of those in the present tense because we currently still live together but are sleeping in separate rooms. I also financially supported him by lending him money and letting him pay less of the rent because I made more money. I accept all of him including that he has terrible time management skills, he can have a hard time controlling his emotions at times, and he is disorganized and messy. I also accepted that I would have to wait for marriage and children because of his school and accepted that he did not have a lot of free time between school, work, and his hobbies. I supported his love for his hobbies by accepting his purchasing of expensive equipment even when he owed me money, traveling to watch several events that were important to him, and traveling to see him win an award from his job. I would write heartfelt cards for every holiday. I also bought him dozens of children's books about love that I wanted us to read to our children one day.
When I realized I could lose him, I felt something change inside me. It was like I could feel a hole being blown in the wall I had built up. I felt all my love for him overwhelm me. I couldn't hug him, kiss him, or tell him I love him enough. I tried to talk to him to apologize for my behavior and how badly I'd hurt him. I tried to explain how I felt like a different person and how I really wanted to work hard on improving myself as a partner to make our relationship work. I tried to prove my words with actions. I wrote a list of things I needed to work on including communication and being more affectionate. I also wrote out a list of ways to work on those things and actually started doing the things on the list. Some of the items I had already begun to do like hug and kiss him more and tell him I love him more. I also tried to ask more questions about his interests/hobbies/day. I was more vulnerable and talked with him about my feelings more. I even initiated intimacy, something I had really only done once in a blue moon when I was intoxicated. I also set up my individual therapy sessions.
Despite all of my efforts, over the next two weeks, he continued to say he did not know if he could be with me and wanted to know what else was out there. He was very wavering and said multiple times "I don't know what the right decision is." He said he could not trust that my changes would last and that it was probably too late. I begged him to try couples therapy, but he refused and said "Therapy takes too long" and basically said it wasn't worth the time. He finally broke up with me after 2 weeks of going back and forth and I was devastated. He later talked to a mutual friend of ours and changed his mind about therapy. I was so happy to hear that he had changed his mind. However, now I feel like I can't even trust him anymore. He's turning into a person I don't recognize and I don't know what he's capable of anymore. I don't know if the man I love still exists. When he told me he was now agreeable to try therapy he said "We're still broken up, but I won't talk to any other girls." and then promptly said "And it will give me more time to find a place to live if things don't work out." He deleted several Instagram posts that had photos of me after he agreed to try therapy which makes me think he's not actually that open to healing our relationship. He complained to me about how he might have to take out student loans after I told him he needed to pay me for half of the rent while we're broken up and not decreased rate he had been paying me. He also "checked on me" on the night of the 3rd year anniversary of my brother's death when he heard me crying. Then he just sat on the end of the bed scrolling his phone while I cried as if he was checking on me because he felt like he had to and not because he wanted to. When I asked him if he had some sort of deadline in mind for the therapy, because he had previously mentioned that it takes too long, he said July or August and I have a suspicion that is because a girl he likes is leaving for summer break but will be back at the end of August for the next semester.
I just feel like the way he has been acting is not how you act towards someone you were in a relationship with for almost 6.5 years. Especially after saying you still love them and have no negative feelings towards them. That means even though you don't think you are a good relationship match, you should still want to treat them with respect. You should care that they are hurting during this time. You should want to comfort them in their grief of a separate event. You should mean it if you say you want to try therapy.
TL; DR : Do you think therapy will help?
submitted by Ok_Start1379 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I did try to hear him. I gifted him some lingerie for the first time and let him take a boudoir photo shoot of me wearing it. I started sending a few more cute messages. I tried to make more time to cuddle with him when he would ask. I tried to give him more hugs. I tried to thank him more for picking up around the house. I wrote him a cute letter and surprised him with a few gifts for Easter. However, about a month ago, we had another one of those conversations. Except this time the first things he brought up were 'wondering what else is out there' and talking about how other girls are always complimenting him. Again came the walls and extra defensiveness. I ended up writing him a letter talking about how I didn't know if I could ever be what he wanted me to be and that maybe he should think about calling things off. This was obviously a defense mechanism to try to beat him to the punch line and talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Three weeks later he would sit me down and tell me he wanted to know what else was out there again and that he didn't know if he could go through with marrying me. My efforts did not feel like enough for him and I understand why. I was having a hard time connecting my emotions with my actions which made my actions seem reactionary and not genuine or provoked by love.
I have been through a lot more trauma in my life than I realized. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up. We had to move every three years. A very pivotal point in my life was when we moved when I was in the 6th grade. I lived right next door to my best friend. I was finding my love for math and theater. I also played soccer and was a Girl Scout. When we moved, I became very depressed, though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. I stopped all of my extracurricular activities. I stopped getting too close to people because I knew I would have to move or they would have to move eventually. I mostly stayed in my room and kept to myself, even from my family. I also have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, in my senior year of high school, I got my first-ever boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over 4 years. In that relationship, I would always be the one to try to talk about our problems. I would be the one who would always want longer hugs and more cuddles. But it was not a healthy relationship. We broke up and got back together many times. I found several illicit texts to other girls on multiple occasions and he would always gaslight me by saying his younger brother stole his phone or I misinterpreted the messages. I think this caused me not to want to show my emotions because it wasn't reciprocated and resulted in heartache. Then, three years ago my younger brother died in a tragic car accident at the age of 17.
When I realized I could lose the love of my life, I realized that he was right about me not being affectionate enough. I had built up walls to protect myself. I thought I had made progress on my anxiety and depression, but I realized I was wrong. I also realized that I have issues with communication, trust, and vulnerability. I was a great partner in other ways and I did express my love in other ways. I moved across the country, coast to coast, with him to a state where I didn't know anyone so that he could attend his dream school. I take care of the household. I get the majority of the groceries. I do all of the cooking. I do all of the maintenance cleaning. I take care of our 2 cats and 1 dog. I say all of those in the present tense because we currently still live together but are sleeping in separate rooms. I also financially supported him by lending him money and letting him pay less of the rent because I made more money. I accept all of him including that he has terrible time management skills, he can have a hard time controlling his emotions at times, and he is disorganized and messy. I also accepted that I would have to wait for marriage and children because of his school and accepted that he did not have a lot of free time between school, work, and his hobbies. I supported his love for his hobbies by accepting his purchasing of expensive equipment even when he owed me money, traveling to watch several events that were important to him, and traveling to see him win an award from his job. I would write heartfelt cards for every holiday. I also bought him dozens of children's books about love that I wanted us to read to our children one day.
When I realized I could lose him, I felt something change inside me. It was like I could feel a hole being blown in the wall I had built up. I felt all my love for him overwhelm me. I couldn't hug him, kiss him, or tell him I love him enough. I tried to talk to him to apologize for my behavior and how badly I'd hurt him. I tried to explain how I felt like a different person and how I really wanted to work hard on improving myself as a partner to make our relationship work. I tried to prove my words with actions. I wrote a list of things I needed to work on including communication and being more affectionate. I also wrote out a list of ways to work on those things and actually started doing the things on the list. Some of the items I had already begun to do like hug and kiss him more and tell him I love him more. I also tried to ask more questions about his interests/hobbies/day. I was more vulnerable and talked with him about my feelings more. I even initiated intimacy, something I had really only done once in a blue moon when I was intoxicated. I also set up my individual therapy sessions.
Despite all of my efforts, over the next two weeks, he continued to say he did not know if he could be with me and wanted to know what else was out there. He was very wavering and said multiple times "I don't know what the right decision is." He said he could not trust that my changes would last and that it was probably too late. I begged him to try couples therapy, but he refused and said "Therapy takes too long" and basically said it wasn't worth the time. He finally broke up with me after 2 weeks of going back and forth and I was devastated. He later talked to a mutual friend of ours and changed his mind about therapy. I was so happy to hear that he had changed his mind. However, now I feel like I can't even trust him anymore. He's turning into a person I don't recognize and I don't know what he's capable of anymore. I don't know if the man I love still exists. When he told me he was now agreeable to try therapy he said "We're still broken up, but I won't talk to any other girls." and then promptly said "And it will give me more time to find a place to live if things don't work out." He deleted several Instagram posts that had photos of me after he agreed to try therapy which makes me think he's not actually that open to healing our relationship. He complained to me about how he might have to take out student loans after I told him he needed to pay me for half of the rent while we're broken up and not decreased rate he had been paying me. He also "checked on me" on the night of the 3rd year anniversary of my brother's death when he heard me crying. Then he just sat on the end of the bed scrolling his phone while I cried as if he was checking on me because he felt like he had to and not because he wanted to. When I asked him if he had some sort of deadline in mind for the therapy, because he had previously mentioned that it takes too long, he said July or August and I have a suspicion that is because a girl he likes is leaving for summer break but will be back at the end of August for the next semester.
I just feel like the way he has been acting is not how you act towards someone you were in a relationship with for almost 6.5 years. Especially after saying you still love them and have no negative feelings towards them. That means even though you don't think you are a good relationship match, you should still want to treat them with respect. You should care that they are hurting during this time. You should want to comfort them in their grief of a separate event. You should mean it if you say you want to try therapy.
TL; DR : Do you think therapy will help?
2024.05.19 07:00 Perfect__Symmetry John Zorn's recommended book list for our study:
Jacques Attali, Noise: The Political Economy of Music (Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, 1985).
Antonin Artaud, Watchfiends & Rack Screams: Works From the Final Period (New York: Exact Change, 2004).
Derek Bailey, Improvisation: Its Nature And Practice In Music (Boston: Da Capo Press, 1993).
Stan Brakhage, Essential Brakhage (Kingston, NY: McPherson, 2001).
Paul Celan, Breathturn into Timestead: The Collected Later Poetry (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2014).
Aleister Crowley; Scott Michaelsen (ed.), Portable Darkness: An Aleister Crowley Reader (Sun Vision Press, 2012).
Guy Debord, Donald Nicholson-Smith (trans.), Society of the Spectacle (Detroit: Black & Red, 2000).
Emily Dickinson, The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson (Boston: Back Bay Books,1976).
Richard Foreman; Gerald Rabkin (ed), Richard Foreman (Art + Performance) (Boston: PAJ Publications, 2005).
Martin Gayford, The Yellow House: Van Gogh, Gauguin, and Nine Turbulent Weeks in Provence (New York: Mariner Books, 2008).
Jean-Luc Godard; Tom Milne (ed., trans.), Godard On Godard (Boston: Da Capo Press, 1986).
Heraclitus, Fragments (New York: Penguin Classics, 2003).
Lewis Hyde, The Gift: Creativity and the Artist in the Modern World, Twenty-fifth Anniversary Edition (New York: Vintage, 2007).
Paola Igliori, ed., American Magus Harry Smith: A Modern Alchemist (Inanout Press: 1996).
Harry Mathews and Alastair Brotchie (eds.), Oulipo Compendium (Los Angeles: Make Now Press, 2005).
Nicolas Slonimsky (ed), Lexicon of Musical Invective: Critical Assaults on Composers Since Beethoven’s Time (New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 2001).
Toru Takemitsu, Confronting Silence: Selected Writings (New York: Scarecrow Press, 1995).
(source)
submitted by Perfect__Symmetry to thejohnzornmultiverse [link] [comments]
Antonin Artaud, Watchfiends & Rack Screams: Works From the Final Period (New York: Exact Change, 2004).
Derek Bailey, Improvisation: Its Nature And Practice In Music (Boston: Da Capo Press, 1993).
Stan Brakhage, Essential Brakhage (Kingston, NY: McPherson, 2001).
Paul Celan, Breathturn into Timestead: The Collected Later Poetry (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2014).
Aleister Crowley; Scott Michaelsen (ed.), Portable Darkness: An Aleister Crowley Reader (Sun Vision Press, 2012).
Guy Debord, Donald Nicholson-Smith (trans.), Society of the Spectacle (Detroit: Black & Red, 2000).
Emily Dickinson, The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson (Boston: Back Bay Books,1976).
Richard Foreman; Gerald Rabkin (ed), Richard Foreman (Art + Performance) (Boston: PAJ Publications, 2005).
Martin Gayford, The Yellow House: Van Gogh, Gauguin, and Nine Turbulent Weeks in Provence (New York: Mariner Books, 2008).
Jean-Luc Godard; Tom Milne (ed., trans.), Godard On Godard (Boston: Da Capo Press, 1986).
Heraclitus, Fragments (New York: Penguin Classics, 2003).
Lewis Hyde, The Gift: Creativity and the Artist in the Modern World, Twenty-fifth Anniversary Edition (New York: Vintage, 2007).
Paola Igliori, ed., American Magus Harry Smith: A Modern Alchemist (Inanout Press: 1996).
Harry Mathews and Alastair Brotchie (eds.), Oulipo Compendium (Los Angeles: Make Now Press, 2005).
Nicolas Slonimsky (ed), Lexicon of Musical Invective: Critical Assaults on Composers Since Beethoven’s Time (New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 2001).
Toru Takemitsu, Confronting Silence: Selected Writings (New York: Scarecrow Press, 1995).
(source)
2024.05.19 06:37 Mindless_Log_7382 Aitah for getting mad at my boyfriend for his incestuous behaviour with his little brother?
Apologies in advance for any spelling errors emotions are running high as I’m writing this.
Edit: added paragraphs
For context this happened a few days ago.
I, M 24 have been in a relationship with my boyfriend who I’ll call Red (Not his real name), M 23 for around 4 years now after we met at our mutual friends house. We had hit it off after a few drinks and I ended the night with his number and 3 months later we started chatting exclusively and 6 months later we started dating. (At this point in time we hadn’t met each other’s families and he hadn’t mentioned them during the whole 9 month period.) When we first started dating Ill admit I was head over heels and wanted him to meet my family (I have a rather large family) right away and was quite pushy about them meeting although we hadn’t been dating for 5 months at that point. But he talked me out of it saying I was “Moving too fast.” I dont know if that was a red flag or not but I don’t think it was.
Anyways, around 1.5-2 years ago I learned that Red had a little brother 23 M (they are twins, Red was just born first by a little over 5 hours.) which came as a shock to me because during our entire relationship Red had never mentioned his brother and was every adamant that not only did he and his family weren’t close but that he had cut them all off. I which was a major red flag for me because for starters I had only met his brother because I had a package delivered to his house and need to pick it up. I have a key to his house but I have a habit of knocking because I OCD. So imagine my shock when the door is opened by not Red but someone who looked suspiciously like him who immediately asked me who I was. When I told him I was asking for Red (MY boyfriend) he said he wasn’t home and that he was at the store and he’ll tell him that someone came to the door to ask for him. At which I told him that I was his boyfriend and that I needed to pick up a package.
He looked a little suspicious but let me in regardless and we sat in the living room and talked till red came home. I was really curious about who these mystery person was and for a while thought Red was cheating on me until his brother who I’ll call Jane (Not his real name) informed me that he was reds twin brother. I was in shock because for two years Red had told me that he had not relationship with any of his family and here’s his twin brother in his house. (I’ve been to his house before and at not pint in time did he ever have any roommates or other people living in his apartment. So it was shocking and I felt really betrayed because at that point he had already met my family.)
Me and Jane made more small talk till Red came home 20 something minutes later and was shocked to see both me and Jane sitting on the couch. I was gonna stay for longer after red came home but the moment I saw his face I just couldn’t and ended up leaving shortly after. I couldn’t stop thinking about how he never told me he had a brother and later that night at like 8 pm I texted him and asked him why he never told me he had a brother nonetheless a TWIN brother and why he lied about cutting off all his family. He responded 2 hours later at 10 and asked me to call him which I did and I he told me that the reason he never told me about Jane was because although he actually didn’t cut all his family off but those he did still talk too he didn’t tell other people about too which I asked why?
Only to be met with him avoiding the question and trying to steer the conversation away from his family and more to about my day which was the next red flag. We got into an argument and he walked away from the phone but didn’t hang up so I did and I ended up blocking him for 2 days before he showed up at my door apologizing up and down and swearing to never keep a secret from me again which I had believed. For the next 2 years that wasn’t the last I’d seen of Jane and I learned that Red and Jane were extremely close. (Idk if it’s a twin thing but they are just really close) But at multiple points in our relationship I thought they’ve been too close if that’s even possible. For example when we had planned an anniversary trip together and went we started discussing locations he wouldn’t agree to certain places because “Jane wouldn’t be comfortable with him going there.” Or “Jane wouldn’t like that.”
When I asked why it mattered what jane liked because it’s not like he was going, he said something along the lines of. “Just let it go.” Or would just ignore me till I started talking about a different place which threw off my flow for the rest of the planning. Or when he pushed back out trip for almost a month because he didn’t want to leave Jane alone. (Jane is autistic and possibly physically disabled which I swear is important but he’s not low functioning and even lives in his own with a job.) When I brought this up Red glared at me without saying anything but let it go after a while. This is only one example of their relationship coming between things we had planned but there are plenty more examples of them being physically close as well. (Cuddling togethe sitting extremely close to each other, Jane following Red around to the point something’s they walk in sync, feeding one another,hugging for extended periods of time, playing with each other’s hands/hair ext.)
I swear if they didn’t look so similar you’d think they were the ones dating. I won’t lie I’ve found myself being jealous/ disgusted at the way they treat each other but I had pushed it aside because I convinced myself that Red was just looking out for Jane. (Before you question that like I said while Jane isn’t behind mentally or anything you can see he struggles with a lot things like standing for long periods of time and often goes non verbal or only makes illegible noise that Red understands.) So I truly pushed my thoughts aside because I didn’t want to be seen as an overprotective or anything and it’s not like I have anything against Jane or anything but sometimes it’s just really fucking weird. But recently I’ve reached my limit when I went to Reds apartment and when I opened the door I saw janes phone on the counter. Which is really at weird because at the end of the day theyre family and that’s not weird but what was weird was that Jane nor Red were anywhere to be found.
I had walked around the apartment for a while till I got Reds bedroom and saw both of them laying in bed together (They weren’t naked or anything but they were like laying ontop on one another, like cuddling skin to skin whilst clothed from what I could see.) When I walked in a saw them next to each other all the memories of the way they had acted with eachother rushed into my head and I just assumed the worst and started screaming and cursing which got Reds attention and he immediately sat up and started screaming back at me asking me what I was scream about and we started a screaming match and I told him off about his weird behaviour with Jane and how brothers don’t act that way with each other until they are getting with eachother and he froze and just started at me and before he could say anything else I left his apartment and drove back home. (If jane had said anything I didn’t hear it over the screaming but idk)
I ended up telling my parents and they said that Im not overreacting but that something in there childhood definitely caused them to be so touchy but don’t believe that and I don’t know who the tell this to or what to do because I’m well aware that siblings don’t act that way and that something has to be going on but I don’t know how to talk to Red about it. I know my parents said otherwise but I can’t help but think im AH because I don’t let red explain. I don’t think I should bring this up to anyone close friends because of bias so I’m asking Reddit. What do I do???
submitted by Mindless_Log_7382 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Edit: added paragraphs
For context this happened a few days ago.
I, M 24 have been in a relationship with my boyfriend who I’ll call Red (Not his real name), M 23 for around 4 years now after we met at our mutual friends house. We had hit it off after a few drinks and I ended the night with his number and 3 months later we started chatting exclusively and 6 months later we started dating. (At this point in time we hadn’t met each other’s families and he hadn’t mentioned them during the whole 9 month period.) When we first started dating Ill admit I was head over heels and wanted him to meet my family (I have a rather large family) right away and was quite pushy about them meeting although we hadn’t been dating for 5 months at that point. But he talked me out of it saying I was “Moving too fast.” I dont know if that was a red flag or not but I don’t think it was.
Anyways, around 1.5-2 years ago I learned that Red had a little brother 23 M (they are twins, Red was just born first by a little over 5 hours.) which came as a shock to me because during our entire relationship Red had never mentioned his brother and was every adamant that not only did he and his family weren’t close but that he had cut them all off. I which was a major red flag for me because for starters I had only met his brother because I had a package delivered to his house and need to pick it up. I have a key to his house but I have a habit of knocking because I OCD. So imagine my shock when the door is opened by not Red but someone who looked suspiciously like him who immediately asked me who I was. When I told him I was asking for Red (MY boyfriend) he said he wasn’t home and that he was at the store and he’ll tell him that someone came to the door to ask for him. At which I told him that I was his boyfriend and that I needed to pick up a package.
He looked a little suspicious but let me in regardless and we sat in the living room and talked till red came home. I was really curious about who these mystery person was and for a while thought Red was cheating on me until his brother who I’ll call Jane (Not his real name) informed me that he was reds twin brother. I was in shock because for two years Red had told me that he had not relationship with any of his family and here’s his twin brother in his house. (I’ve been to his house before and at not pint in time did he ever have any roommates or other people living in his apartment. So it was shocking and I felt really betrayed because at that point he had already met my family.)
Me and Jane made more small talk till Red came home 20 something minutes later and was shocked to see both me and Jane sitting on the couch. I was gonna stay for longer after red came home but the moment I saw his face I just couldn’t and ended up leaving shortly after. I couldn’t stop thinking about how he never told me he had a brother and later that night at like 8 pm I texted him and asked him why he never told me he had a brother nonetheless a TWIN brother and why he lied about cutting off all his family. He responded 2 hours later at 10 and asked me to call him which I did and I he told me that the reason he never told me about Jane was because although he actually didn’t cut all his family off but those he did still talk too he didn’t tell other people about too which I asked why?
Only to be met with him avoiding the question and trying to steer the conversation away from his family and more to about my day which was the next red flag. We got into an argument and he walked away from the phone but didn’t hang up so I did and I ended up blocking him for 2 days before he showed up at my door apologizing up and down and swearing to never keep a secret from me again which I had believed. For the next 2 years that wasn’t the last I’d seen of Jane and I learned that Red and Jane were extremely close. (Idk if it’s a twin thing but they are just really close) But at multiple points in our relationship I thought they’ve been too close if that’s even possible. For example when we had planned an anniversary trip together and went we started discussing locations he wouldn’t agree to certain places because “Jane wouldn’t be comfortable with him going there.” Or “Jane wouldn’t like that.”
When I asked why it mattered what jane liked because it’s not like he was going, he said something along the lines of. “Just let it go.” Or would just ignore me till I started talking about a different place which threw off my flow for the rest of the planning. Or when he pushed back out trip for almost a month because he didn’t want to leave Jane alone. (Jane is autistic and possibly physically disabled which I swear is important but he’s not low functioning and even lives in his own with a job.) When I brought this up Red glared at me without saying anything but let it go after a while. This is only one example of their relationship coming between things we had planned but there are plenty more examples of them being physically close as well. (Cuddling togethe sitting extremely close to each other, Jane following Red around to the point something’s they walk in sync, feeding one another,hugging for extended periods of time, playing with each other’s hands/hair ext.)
I swear if they didn’t look so similar you’d think they were the ones dating. I won’t lie I’ve found myself being jealous/ disgusted at the way they treat each other but I had pushed it aside because I convinced myself that Red was just looking out for Jane. (Before you question that like I said while Jane isn’t behind mentally or anything you can see he struggles with a lot things like standing for long periods of time and often goes non verbal or only makes illegible noise that Red understands.) So I truly pushed my thoughts aside because I didn’t want to be seen as an overprotective or anything and it’s not like I have anything against Jane or anything but sometimes it’s just really fucking weird. But recently I’ve reached my limit when I went to Reds apartment and when I opened the door I saw janes phone on the counter. Which is really at weird because at the end of the day theyre family and that’s not weird but what was weird was that Jane nor Red were anywhere to be found.
I had walked around the apartment for a while till I got Reds bedroom and saw both of them laying in bed together (They weren’t naked or anything but they were like laying ontop on one another, like cuddling skin to skin whilst clothed from what I could see.) When I walked in a saw them next to each other all the memories of the way they had acted with eachother rushed into my head and I just assumed the worst and started screaming and cursing which got Reds attention and he immediately sat up and started screaming back at me asking me what I was scream about and we started a screaming match and I told him off about his weird behaviour with Jane and how brothers don’t act that way with each other until they are getting with eachother and he froze and just started at me and before he could say anything else I left his apartment and drove back home. (If jane had said anything I didn’t hear it over the screaming but idk)
I ended up telling my parents and they said that Im not overreacting but that something in there childhood definitely caused them to be so touchy but don’t believe that and I don’t know who the tell this to or what to do because I’m well aware that siblings don’t act that way and that something has to be going on but I don’t know how to talk to Red about it. I know my parents said otherwise but I can’t help but think im AH because I don’t let red explain. I don’t think I should bring this up to anyone close friends because of bias so I’m asking Reddit. What do I do???
2024.05.19 06:30 Smanro Version 1.6 - Notes on Shuori Content & Event & Merch Overview
 | submitted by Smanro to Reverse1999 [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 06:12 Electronic-Job-8254 Am I the a hole for “choosing my bf over family”
I (f) just turned 17 today and my entire family is mad at me for spending the day with my bf 17(m). For some context I’ve never had a good birthday. I would always get in trouble the week of and before because my mom is irritable and I would never earn a good birthday. Celebrations would always happen without me or what I would get would be a card or a cake with foreign languages on it with mean comments. For my 15 she got a cake and in blue icing in Spanish she wrote do better and then put me on punishment for confronting her. She kicked me out a year ago to be with her boyfriend and my 9(m) brother her “perfect family” that don’t include me so I’m living with my grandma 65 and aunt 39. They don’t like my mom’s take to my birthday and how I have to earn it and how my brother always has what he wants but I can’t even be present. I’m sorry to sound like a brat but 17 years of resentment adds up. My grandmother and aunt have been preaching about how this birthday will be MY day but the allure of birthdays aren’t even there anymore for me. I got a bf almost 9 months ago and he’s been saying the entire time how for my birthday he’s going to go all out he asked them every month is he can take me out my birthday and they always say yes. I have always had restrictions put on me and they just got worse when me and him got together. I have to turn my phone in every night she checks if I’m otp with him so I can’t be and I haven’t seen him outside of school since his birthday five months ago. I ask and I get random excuses every time when they tell me no. My mom was the one who suggested that I spend my birthday with my bf and when my aunt and grandma were like yes ofc you can they were even saying that can be your birthday gift. I hadn’t asked much for my birthday everything I wanted had been turned down and so what I asked for I made sure I could get when I get told no. All I wanted to do was roller skate and get a cheap hello kitty Stanley dupe off Etsy since they said I could pick a place to go. When today rolled around and they dropped me off at his house since they also haven’t allowed me to learn to drive or get a permit I had fun at his house. He taught me madden even though it made him mad we made cookies and he took me to get chipotle. He got me a bunch of hello kitty gifts and got me a personal strawberry shortcake which is my favorite. I didn’t ask for what he did all I wanted was to play video games and get a cuddle in before I can’t see him for I don’t even know how long. I got home and everyone was mad at me my brother if visiting for the week and even he put his iPad down long enough to mean mug me . My grandmother explained to me that everyone was mad because I chose to spend my birthday with my bf. My brother honestly didn’t even know it was my birthday he asked if it was true. I asked her what she meant and she said how I had chosen my bf over spending time with them. How they had an elaborate day planned out and I didn’t want to. I tried telling her that wasn’t it I would’ve been fine with seeing him tomorrow or even a few hours but they gave me the whole day so I took it and then she said well we feel like you chose someone else over your family when you were supposed to choose us you owe this day. I was asking why they didn’t say no or give me an option or we could’ve compromise d and she said no I was supposed to choose them and be with them but now they know where my loyalties lie. When I went to my room my brother came in and asked why I didn’t choose them and I told him I’ll talk to him later so I wouldn’t get mad towards him. I’m still confused and very mad and hurt by all this but I took an opportunity when it was handed to me so am I the a hole?
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