Frequently Asked Questions About Steroids

How much weight can someone expect to gain during the first cycle? Provided dosing is sufficient, and this will vary from person to person, it is not uncommon to gain 10 Kg of muscle mass weight during a first cycle. Some of this may be water retention, although a solid gain of more than 10 Kg is possible.
Are the gains from steroid use temporary? Yes and no. Steroids can help you do two basic things with regard to muscle growth. First, they can allow you to reach your genetic limits for muscle growth faster. Second, providing you continue to train and eat properly and use an effective PCT program, you should be able to maintain your genetic limit indefinitely. So the early gains should not be temporary. Also, steroids can allow you to push beyond your genetic limits. It is important to understand that bodybuilders are unable to maintain extreme physical development long-term without the repeated administration of anabolic substances. The body will always revert back towards its normal metabolic limits once AAS usage is discontinued. So in this context some of the gains will not be permanent. Steroids do permanently alter the physiology of your muscles by adding more cellular nuclei. With higher nuclei content, each muscle cell can manage its volume more efficiently, which allows more rapid expansion. Even after a long period of complete abstinence from training and AAS the nuclei remain. This may provide a “muscle memory” effect, allowing you to reach your genetic limit (perhaps a slightly extended limit) faster than if you had never used AAS in the past. So in this regard, there are lasting benefits beyond the temporary increase in muscle size itself.
Can steroids make me look like a professional bodybuilder? If you have the underlying genetics to allow for this extreme muscle growth, this may be possible with a lot of hard work and dedication. Genetics are a big factor in determining the ultimate limits to your physique. Many people use steroids and look very big and impressive because of it, but very few users are able to make it to the stage of a professional bodybuilding show.
How dangerous is an isolated cycle of steroids? Anabolic/androgenic steroids are among the safest drugs available, at least in a short-term sense. Fatal overdose is not reasonably possible, and the negative health changes such as alterations in cholesterol, blood pressure, hematocrit, and blood clotting (among other things) are very unlikely to manifest in serious bodily harm or death after an isolated cycle. There are rare deaths from such things as stroke and liver cancer in short-term abusers, but such occurrences are statistically extremely rare in light of the millions of people that use these drugs.
How dangerous is long-term steroid use? The long-term use of steroids for non-medical reasons can be a unhealthy practice. It has been difficult, however, to quantify the exact risk. The main issue is the fact that AAS abuse leads to permanent side effects.
Can steroids be used to enhance an athletic career safely? The non-medical use of AAS by definition cannot be defined as a safe practice. However, it can be argued that anabolic/androgenic steroids can be used with high relative safety, even over a period of many years. The guidelines of steroid harm reduction are important to minimizing the negative health effects of these drugs. Provided an individual follows these guidelines and is careful with drug selection, dosages, and duration of intake, follows a diet low in saturated fats, cholesterol, sugar, and refined carbohydrates, actively trains with both resistance and cardiovascular exercise, and uses cholesterol support supplements such as fish oils and others during all cycles, it may be difficult in many cases to argue high tangible health risks. It takes a great deal of involvement and planning to use AAS in this manner, which is always advised.
What are the safest steroids for men? Testosterone, whatever the form, tends to be the safest steroid for men. When the dose remains within the moderately range, alterations in cardiovascular risks factors are noticed, but not extreme.
Which steroids will not cause hair loss? For those with a genetic predisposition to hair loss, all anabolic/androgenic steroids are capable of accelerating the process. Moderate doses of testosterone can be used with finasteride, a drug that reduces DHT conversion (and androgenic amplification) in the scalp. Still, those genetically prone to hair loss can have problems with any steroid.
What are the safest steroids for women? Women are generally most concerned with the virilizing (masculinizing) effects of anabolic/androgenic steroids. The least virilizing agents are not those with the highest relative anabolic to androgenic effect, such as nandrolone, oxandrolone, turinabol, and methenolone. Anabolic/Androgenic ratios, while a useful measure to scientists, have little to no carryover in terms of virilization potential in women. In fact, nandrolone is extremely virilizing in women. It is important to remember that all AAS are based on male sex hormones and so they can cause masculinizing effects in women.
Can I just do a oral only cycle? Sure. But should you? Probably not. Oral steroids are still going to suppress your natural Testosterone production very hard. You may find you don’t feel the best or symptoms of low testosterone. If you choose to do a oral-only cycle, you should prepare a proper PCT as well.
What about just a Prohormone or Designer Steroid cycle? Prohormones and Designer Steroids are going to suppress your natural Testosterone very hard. Prohormones & Designer Steroids are no better (or even worse in some cases) than using a traditional oral steroid. The supplemental PCT sold with these Prohormones/Designer Steroids is predominantly not very effective. A proper PCT should be based on Nolvadex/Clomid to be effective.
Injectables steroids changed color and looks weird. Why? Injectable gear can crash due to storing the product in colder than recommended temperatures, which may happen in air mail shipping or because the ratio of AAS to oil is out of balance (this can be either a manufacturer error or a personal error if home brewing). This does not damage the steroid. In order to correct the problem, simply run the vial under warm water until the products reverts back to its normal state. Clean with alcohol swab after drying off.
My injectables have particles floating in it. What top do? You can either dispose of the product or you can re-filter it by using a Whatman filter. While opinions will differ on this subject, the opinion of re-filtering is still available and a suitable solution in many cases, assuming the product is not badly polluted. In cases where it is apparent that the product is very poor quality and contains a large amount of foreign material, it would be wise to throw it away. This should not occur with reputable brands of UGL and will never occur with pharma-grade products.
I need to travel during my cycle. What do? A solution would be to switch over to Testosterone Undecanoate. With a half life of 20 days, it makes for an excellent and risk free choice.
I’m getting muscle pumps. What can I do? The first line of action should be: Taurine (3-10g pre-workout) Magnesium (200-500mg pre-workout, you may also add 200-500mg morning or afternoon depending on when you train) Potassium (200-300mg pre-workout, you may also add 200-500mg AM/PM depending on when you workout) Increase your water intake (1-2 gallons daily)
My injection spot is red/itchy/sore? Get some antibiotics if it is red, itchy, or hot. If it is simply sore and/or swollen it is probably going to be okay. If in doubt, get some antibiotics; a common thing to tell your doctor is that you injected B12.
Is it normal to bleed after injecting? Yes, it is common to occasionally nick a vein close to the surface of the injection site, which will cause blood to leak from the surface. The amount of blood which can seep from an injection site can be anywhere from a drop or two, to a very light stream which slowly flows down that body part. Even in the event a larger vein is hit when doing an injection, this type of bleeding is relatively easy to stop and will not pose any harm to the individual.
Is aspirating required when injecting? No, most AAS users do not aspirate when injecting.
Does injecting build up scar tissue? Yes, repeated intramuscular injections can cause the muscle to build up scar tissue. Generally there is no inflammation or inclusion in the tissue. In an effort to minimize scar tissue build up, users will rotate through many injection spots.
How to properly open an amp? Ampules can be aided in opening by scoring (some ampules come pre-scored). Scoring is a process in which in a fine line is ground away around the neck of the ampule. Scoring makes it much easier to snap the top of the ampule off without breaking the vial and spilling the oil. Normally, a scoring tool is used for this process, although sometimes knives or other objects can be used. An amp opener can be used, which is the fastest and the least time consuming methods. If you don’t have an amp opener, grasp the amp between thumb and forefinger of one hand. Move liquid from the neck to the body of the amp by tapping (thumping) the ampule sharply. Using gauze pad (or similar), grasp the stem (the part above the neck) with the other hand. Break it from you and discard safely. The so called tape-method can be employed, as well. The tape method involves taping the entire vial all the way up to the neck line. Several layers of tape should surround the vial, so that it is properly secured. The point of taping the vial is to prevent the contents of the amp from spilling, if it breakw somewhere other than the neckline. The other purpose is to reinforce the ampule, so that it is more likely to break at the neckline. One can combine both the tape method and the scoring, which is the best way to ensure that the oil contained in the ampule will not be spilled.
Can I re-use syringes? Absolutely not. You should never take a needle which has entered the body and re-insert it back into a steroid product, as this can result in bacteria build-up and cause potential future infections.
How fast should I inject? As a general rule, 30 seconds per ml.
Is it dangerous to inject small air bubbles?” No, a small amount of air will do no harm. Air bubbles injected into muscle tissue is of no concern. Even if the individual were to thread a vein and inject the entire contents of the syringe into the vein, the small air bubbles contained within it would be irrelevant. In reality, several cc of air would have to be injected directly into a vein all at once in order to cause cardiac arrest. Even injecting 2-3 cc’s of air directly into a muscle would be largely inconsequential. Of course, such an action is not recommended.

TW:Stillbirth, nightmares, selfharm
This is alot but I have pcos and always wanted to be a mom more than anything, when i was 19 i didnt get a period for 4 months. My doctor said she could prescribe clomid when i wanted kids. I'm 22 and it worked with my boyfriend right away naturally but i don't know if i should view it as just "lucky" but it wont be in the future or if I'll even ever be able to have kids again. When I was pregnant with her I turned my life around, ate healthy, only had one soda in a day if any, i wouldnt take any medication..even tylenol, i just wanted to do everything right.
It was so easy not to stress and I thought I'd never be suicidal again because i was happy i was having her and wanted to always be there for her to keep her safe, healthy and happy. My daughter had a perfect heartbeat every time..but at the anatomy scan they saw markers for down syndrome and scheduled her echocardiogram for August 30th. Her head and limbs were smaller than they should've been, her nose bridge was underdeveloped, kidneys were enlarged, and there was fluid by her lungs. The doctor recommended amniocentesis test but i didn't want to risk it, i regret it now.
I got blood tested but it was very slow and they said it might not be as accurate..the genetic counselor told me it came back negative for the common chromosomal abnormalities. August 10th, her heartbeat was perfect, then on the 26th i hadn't felt her move all day, i tried eating things that she really liked and had a soda to try to wake her up. I lied on my side, i also slept on my left side everynight. My mom took me to l&r she said it could be how she was positioned, i was trying to act calm but i felt like i already knew.
They checked for her heartbeat, it was silent and there was another person in the same room who's baby had a healthy heartbeat. They took me to another room to check, along with an ultrasound and the nurse told me "i don't have good news, the baby's heart stopped beating." I was 24 weeks, they gave me pills to start labor, my bf left work to come to the hospital and I gave birth on the 29th of August, the night before we would've done her echocardiogram and she was really swollen and filled with fluid. She was due December 17th..when i left the hospital my stepdad told me he didn't want to make me sad but his friend had to give birth a bit early because the baby had fluid in his lungs but now he's doing well.
Its really good he's okay and i wouldn't want this for anyone but at the same time i feel selfish. I can't help feeling jealous and always thinking of her, thinking why did this have to happen, why couldnt she have been saved too? I know babies are everywhere but it makes me feel really weird and sad hearing them or seeing them, and theres almost always a baby mentioned on whatever my boyfriend's watching on tv. Some things feel like signs, a few days after leaving the hospital it was dreary outside but i really wanted to try finding a distraction from my mind so we went to the mall.
There was an announcement about pregnancy and baby photoshoots i had never heard before, so i mentioned it and he agreed and said it was weird. There was a song playing that felt like it was describing our feelings and when we went to another part of the store it was a different song. My bf commented on liking the lyrics "its not over." I've told him alot about how i feel, and how i feel like i wouldn't be able to look after someone's baby either because it made me feel kind of sad before i even got pregnant but i can't imagine it now.
A few days after that, he told me his cousin was asking how we were so he told her what happened. She's having a babyshower, he said it would've been around the time we had ours and she wanted to invite us but figured it'd be really rough. I feel bad for feeling like this but i really want to avoid being around babies as much as i can. I just feel like I'll never really be okay until i have one i can raise, i wish it was her.
Not long after she was born, the genetic counselor called me back (not knowing what happened) and said she had really good news. All the rare chromosomal abnormalities were also negative and she was perfectly healthy. I've relapsed on cutting recently, i hadn't done it in a few years and i pray everyday if reincarnations real, i can get her soul back somehow or go be with her where she is. Everytime i talked about her used to make her kick, i felt them earlier because of where my placenta grew. He's said maybe we can try again next year and that gives me alittle bit of hope, but i live with the worry i won't get pregnant again or i won't get to have a healthy baby that lives. I've been having nightmares, sometimes they're mixed with normal dreams but I've been dreaming about baby stuff alot.
Like little shoes with blue and pink laces, headbows, clothes, lots of things. I dreamed i gave birth to her all over again, except she was alive for a few seconds and then moved her arms around and passed away, in another dream i was holding her walking around but she was still gone and then she disappeared and i ran around looking for her. The nightmares involve my bf too sometimes, last night i dreamed he was going to leave me because i couldnt have his healthy children..then i bought some cookies with hearts, there were rainbow baby shoes and a townhouse cake with a sign that said "welcome home", the clouds were multicolored and there was a rainbow ontop. I'd give anything to give her life, one of the things that hurts so much is knowing even if everyone in the universe cried or wished for her to come back, she'd still always be gone.
I hope someday things will work out and hope my bf won't give up on me also, he hasn't said anything to make it seem like he would. I just love him so much, he's treated me better than anyone, hes super supportive and a really hard worker, i know he'd be a super good dad and i couldn't see that with anyone else and i really wouldn't want to lose him too

As titled, at nearly 2 year I've decided to stop trt. My dose was 40mg at 3.5 days.
I'm a week in, feel a bit lethargic, slightly unmotivated, very horny and my testicals really ache and started to swell. This might be a good sign? It took over a year for them to begin shrinking.
I haven't started pct yet which begins in a weeks time with hcg and then clomid. But, if my testicals are already responding, do I need hcg?
Over all everything has been ok. I'll update in a week.
Week 2 Update
Well, so far so good. It got a little rough halfway through. Farigue, foggy brain, my neck really ached and still does a little and a little irritable too.
Feeling good towards the end of it. Trainings still good, appetite good, motivation good.
Diet on par. Almost zero junk, no alcohol, smoking or coffee. Eating over a pound of red meat and in ketosis. Lifes good so far. No pct yet, testicals have swollen nicely, I'm not sure if I'll use it.
Week 3 & 4 Update
Going into week 3 I had an intense headache for 3 days. Motivation was down a bit and felt a little weak. No depression.
I didn't use hcg or clomid but instead bought some enclomiphene. Talking in hindsight from week 5 it was a good choice.
Into week 4 things began to pick up. Booked a week off work and took off to the sea. Chilled out with the family, motivation getting better by the day. Came back feeling good.
Into week 5 strength is feeling good, motivated to get things done. Lifes good, right choice made. I'll leave it at that. Life goes on.

Hello folks, wanted to ask about Clomid and eye troubles. I have read a lot of posts about optical issues from taking this drug.
I am trying to figure out if my eye pain is from Clomid or from Long Covid. I took a few doses of Clomid 50mg back in September along with 1 mg Anastrozole. I almost immediately had a surge of libido and increased semen volume, but couldn't sleep all night (I react VERY strongly to medication). I took half that dose maybe 1-2 times over the following day or two and still had trouble sleeping. Within the next few days, I developed a slightly swollen eyelid and eye pain in my left eye, which went away within a few days. I was also experiencing LOTS of long covid symptoms, anything from ear pain to POTS to MCAS to dizziness to trigemnial neuralgia. So it was hard to gauge whether the eye issue was from the clomid or just another long covid symptom.
My eye pain went away for 3 months pretty much entirely. Then I got the covid vaccine, and a few days later, the eye pain started in again. But instead of going away in 3 days, this time it's been on and off for almost 2 months now.
I don't have vision issues, just eye pain in the left eye. It's a dull ache that really impacts my quality of life. When it's sunny out that eye hurts and feels like I have to squint. My right eye is fine though.
SO my question is: Do you think that using clomid just 2-3 times can cause long term eye pain? Or do you think it was more long covid related? And are there any treatment options for this? I'm going for an MRI soon to check for optic neuritis.
TLDR; I have long covid and ongoing eye pain. I'm trying to determine if the eye pain is from long covid, or from taking clomid (which I only took clomid 2-3 times).
TIA.

My husband and I have been trying for 2 year and half years, we tried going to holistic doctor, acupuncture, herbal medicine then started going to a fertility clinic. We did a few cycles of assisted reproduction, with clomid. Then decided to do ivf straight away. I have pcos therefore had a severe case of OHSS, I got really sick from this, vomiting and unable to move out of bed and bloated, ended up retrieving 47 eggs, and 17 embryos.
We did our transfer in December and got a positive pregnancy test. I had light spotting and sometimes my back would hurt. But my hcg levels were going up and increasing even though the doctor said it was on the low side. A few days ago i had cramps and started bleeding so I went in for an ultrasound thinking I would see a gestational sac and possible a heart beat at week 5 but they found nothing to except for swollen fallopian tubes, the doctor said I had a ectopic pregnancy (which is a 1% chance) I had to get an emergency surgery to get the bleeding out of my uterus and my fallopian tubes.
Post surgery the doctor found that both my tubes were blocked and she had to clean it out. Including my uterus lining.
I am devastated and really want to give up
Update: they found out it was an ectopic pregnancy as they found the embryos tissues in my right tube
I’m so scared of having another ectopic pregnancy with IVF

I had a vasectomy in 2016. From then on my sex life has been subpar. Everyone I spoke with said it's not connected, but at 32 back then I beg to differ.
Anyway, I was put on clomid due to issues 3 months after vasectomy. I felt good for a month, then like shit again. My testosterone had jumped to like 1700 and so my estrogen was numbing all the gains. So I was put on an AI. After a few months I just stopped because I was annoyed and didn't feel much better.
Fast forward to March 2022. Felt like crap, no drive, no excitement, no desire, sex was meh. Had testing done at my PCP
Test: 415 ng/dl ** Free Test 109.4 pg/ml ** Albumin 4.2g/dl ** SHBG 20.7
I got hooked back up with a urologist and was prescribed Test C at 200 every 14 days. After 2 months I went back and asked to be switched to weekly. So he lowered it to 100 a week. He drew bloods and all was within range but my Estradiol was less than 5. I mentioned it to him and he seemed unconcerned.
Just went back again for my 3 month appt. This was my trough numbers. Morning of the day I do shot.
Labs below:
Test: 584ng/dl ** Free Test 163.4pg/ml ** Albumin 4.7g/dl ** SHBG 16.0 ** Estradiol 5
Once again I told the doctor I felt the E2 was super low. He said no one pays attention to that number and it was fine. I feel like crap most days. I have super dry itchy skin, low libido, erection issues, reddening of the skin, hair loss, feel weak and frail most days, huge acne on my face.
I am 38 years old. I am way to young to feel this way.
What am I missing here?
I did try taking 200 a week for a month and the only real difference I noticed is that I seemed to be retaining water and felt swollen and full all the time.
What do my numbers say? Because clearly my doctor has no interest in my wellbeing.

TL;DR: Husband (32M) and I (28F) are infertile, and I'm going through my second miscarriage/ectopic rn. Even though he's supportive in some ways, I don't feel emotionally supported by him throughout this process at all.
My husband (32M) and I (28F), married for 2 years, together for 7, have been trying to conceive for over 3 years. Last year, we got diagnosed with infertility because of various reasons and started IUI. I had a miscarriage last year, and I am currently going through what's either another miscarriage or a pregnancy of unknown location/ectopic (I'm being monitored by a doctor ofc).
He wants to have a baby just as much as I do, we frequently talk about it and he's been showing up for all the fertility treatments, doing his part etc. He does what he physically can, he's never complained about unsexy scheduled fertile-week-sex or having to jizz in a container at a doctor's office. I really appreciate that.
However, I don't feel very supported by him on the emotional side of things. For example: whenever I bring up adoption or foster children, he finds a reason to block that conversation. He calls it a "last resort", or tells me he just hasn't thought about it yet... refuses to do so, though. In his opinion, we still have so many options- completely disregarding that all these options mean a lot of physical and emotional distress for me. I fainted at work due to clomid, gained 10 pounds, my ovaries were so swollen that I was in bad pain, and not to mention the miscarriage(s). Apart from that, adoption or fostering, to me, isn't a last resort- it's a beautiful and valid alternative to biological children. I'm a daycare teacher, I know how easy it is to love a kid that's not biologically mine. A conversation about potentially staying childfree wasn't possible either- again, we still have "so many options". I understand that he's scared of this possibility, however, it is unfortunately one we should take into account.
What's really been bothering me though is the way he treats the miscarriages. When I had my first one, lying on the sofa bleeding and crying profously, he asked me what would be for dinner, because I usually do 100% of the cooking. Two days later he asked me when I planned to finally go back to work (I live in a country with unlimited paid sick leave and my employer is fortunately very great about it too- also it's not like we'd need the money, he makes 100k a year). He comes from a very success-oriented family, and not working for a while due to mental health reasons is absolutely incomprehensible for him. I'm not even sure he realized in how much distress I was. Fast forward to this weekend. After my ob/gyn told me I was possibly experiencing a PUL/miscarriage, I went to the hospital where my parents lived beause I was staying with them, and the Dr. there confirmed what my Ob/Gyn had said. I was devastated. I drove home yesterday in the afternoon. On the way home I got a text from him saying if I could get some groceries, because he was out. I said no, I wasn't feeling like it, so he went and got them once I was home.
All I wanted was to lie in bed and cry, and so I did. I told him again that he needed to start actively thinking about foster children/adoption, and that I needed more emotional support. He said "Ok I'll think about it." He again needs more time to think about it.
We went to bed early because I was knackered. This morning, I got up early and even managed to make breakfast for us because I wanted to do something. He didn't thank me for it and only cleaned up our cutlery and plates, asking me to clean up the rest of the table. Ok, again, no big deal, I'll do it.
Later, he asked me if we could go out to a place he's been wanting to visit for a while now. I said no, sorry, I really don't feel like it, and he was disappointed but said ok, let's go soon though. Then, he asked me to clean up one of our toilets because I'd been using it for pregnancy tests etc. I said ok, but couldn't muster up the energy for a few hours. Three hours later, he came storming into the living room, telling me "I've cleaned it now." as in 'because you didn't do it'. I told him that I would have cleaned it up, that he could have used the other, perfectly clean toilet, and that I just needed a little more time (I feel very woozy, nauseous and am obviously in emotional distress rn). He said "Well I asked you hours ago and you didn't do it." and honestly, I got so angry when he said that. I told him "You keep asking me what you can do for me, but apart from kisses and hugs, you're not doing anything useful or being very supportive at all.", which caused him to storm off with a "I'm not going to say anything to that, I don't want to fight with you right now."
I just forced myself to take a shower, and cried the whole time during it. I'm grieving the second baby we've lost, while he seems to have this "the show must go on" attitude, expecting me to behave and act as usual, but I simply can't. I just want just one or two days where I don't have to think about chores, or cooking, or my job. I just need a day or two to grieve and let my body calm down from this harrowing event. Maybe I don't seem deeply depressed all the time, but that doesn't mean I'm not devastated.
All I want is a partner who shows me some empathy, who doesn't expect me to function, and who's emotionally involved in all of this beyond "yeah it's shit". This is truly making me question if I even want to have a baby with him, and if I want to stay married to him at all. He's not a bad husband, he's done a lot for me in the past and he's supportive, he makes me laugh, he does a lot around the house (repairs etc), we have a lot of shared hobbies and interests, and I really, really don't want our marriage to fail because of this. But I'm tired of finding excuses for his behaviour, and catering to his emotional needs while I'm in distress
What do I do?! How can I get him to understand what I need?
EDIT 2: I told him I needed 2 days off of chores and everything else, and that just because I might not seem deathly ill and/or sad, I’m still devastated and sad inside. He said okay and that he’ll make sure the house is in good shape the next few days. I also told him that I was really, really angry this morning, and he was very taken aback. I think this got his thoughts rolling, because I’m rarely this angry. He made sure I had eaten and very gently asked me if I wanted to go for a walk so we did (it felt good). He’ll be working from home in the next few days to make sure I’m ok.
Once we know what’s going on with this pregnancy, there will be another talk about therapy and my emotional needs.
Thank you for everyone’s input.

My partner and i are trying to conceive and the minute i woke up in the morning i had w weird feeling that my cervix and vagina are swollen .. this feeling went away throughout the day but when we had sex at night i felt a slight pain and felt like my cervix is still swollen !! What could this be from ? Is it from clomid ? Or is it normal i’m soo worried . It’s the first time i ever get this feeling

The treatment guide is under the large header below after this introduction:
Gynecomastia (gyno) is when a male's breast tissue under the nipple has developed as it does in females, causing the nipple to be raised above the surrounding skin and in severe cases the breast as a whole can become much larger due to the breast tissue growing throughout the breast area. Gynecomastia is not increased size due to increased fat deposition in the chest, this is considered pseudo-gynecomastia, and is differentiable by touch where true gynecomastia has a hard non-fat breast tissue nodule under the nipple area and pseudo-gynecomastia is just a flat disk under the nipple surrounded by soft fat tissue.
Gyno can occur in both breasts or it can occur in one side called unilateral gynecomastia. It can be as minor as a slightly raised nipple and can progress to as dramatic as a fully developed female breast. Other symptoms which may or may not also occur before and/or during gyno include: random tingling sensations in the nipple region, increased nipple sensitivity/discomfort/tenderness, inflammatory swelling of the nipple, and nipple discharge.
^{(In my case I noticed very occasional mild tingling and sensitivity in my left nipple and ignored it every time and it took about a whole year before suddenly I woke up with a large flare-up of tingling and swollen inflammation of my left nipple, within a few days the inflammation subsided, but the raised nipple and breast of unilateral gyno persisted along with consistent sensitivity issues of only my left nipple contrasted heavily by my normal right side which had no gyno development. I got my unilateral gyno about 2.5 years into fin 1mg/day, it's my only side effect other than temporary mild brain fog early on. I treated my gyno a bit shoddily: heavily reducing fin and switching to mainly topical for about a month, with no appreciable change after the initial inflammation went down; then I was finally able to get a serm, tamoxifen, but I only had enough for about 1 month at about half the typical dose for gyno, this didn't really do much noticeable but after that time my gyno got less sensitive and reduced size slightly, then I got on an ai at month 3 before finding out that they are rather ineffective, I've since started taking gyno seriously and now no more fin and I'll get back on tamoxifen for as long as it takes, my unilateral gyno is about as minor as possible, I wouldn't really notice it as gyno except for the sensitivity and how obviously it contrasts with the completely flat other nipple.)}
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Finasteride is believed to induce gyno mainly through two mechanisms, however the biological processes that cause gyno have not been fully proven nor fully understood:
First, finasteride heavily reduces your dht, reducing a highly androgenic signal in the body, causing your overall level of androgens to be quite reduced even though finasteride also causes a minor increase in the weaker androgen testosterone. An insufficient level of androgens is believed to contribute a large amount to gynecomastia. ^{(For instance as androgens like testosterone decrease with old age, \}70% of old men are estimated to develop gyno)⁾
Second, finasteride increases your estrogens. This is a consequence of the testosterone being blocked from becoming dht by fin, the testosterone builds up and a corresponding amount of that excess testosterone becomes converted into an excess of estrogens. An excess of estrogens is believed to contribute to gynecomastia.
The combination of the above two processes in fin usage leads to both low androgens and high estrogens there are theories that the combination of low androgen to high estrogen hormones, together function as a ratio of androgen/estrogen to cause gyno to develop if the ratio is too low. ^{(This theory is certainly a false oversimplification but both types of hormones do in fact have some means of contributing to gyno so eh. Other hormones can also be able to play a role as well)}
Gyno occurred with an onset ranging from 14 days to 2.5 years (median, 180 days) after starting fin (5mg/day) in a study of 214 men with fin induced gyno. They had similar rates of unilateral gyno and gyno in both sides.
Once you notice symptoms you must begin treating it as soon as possible to maximize your chances of reversal. Gyno develops collagen over time becoming fibrous and irreversible in 1-2 years.

Gyno Reversal Treatment:

1. Discontinue Finasteride (or only very small topical dose by dissolving the pill powder in suitable liquid). ^{This step alone gives you about 80% chance of partial or complete reversal of gyno, with 20% chance of the gyno remaining unchanged. It can take as little as weeks and up to a year to see recovery, however as mentioned the more time passes the more irreversible the gyno becomes, so you should do more to increase your chances of reversal.}
2. Begin taking a selective estrogen receptor modulator (SERM), these are one of the only drugs you can take that will help reverse/prevent gyno. They are prescription medications so it can take a bit of effort to get them. The most studied SERMs for the treatment of gyno are: raloxifene, tamoxifen, and clomid. (Clomid is a little over half as effective in reversing gyno, whereas tamoxifen is almost as good as raloxifene). ^{Studies on pubertal gyno have different results depending on the SERM used, however combining this step and step 1 should conservatively give you over +90% chance of gyno reversal. (There is a lot of bro-science about gyno reversal that will tell you to take aromatase inhibitors which will reduce your estrogen because "the ratio bro", however in studies these aromatase inhibitors have been shown to do little to nothing to reverse/prevent gyno compared to placebo. At best they might have a potential difference of recovery/prevention in a few percent of men, and compared to serms they are rather useless)}
3. You can try losing weight, caloric restriction, exercise, etc. Stop using big contributors like alcohol and some other drugs, alcohol is known to contribute significantly to gyno so you absolutely must stop drinking alcohol if you do. The other lifestyle factors are probably not going to do much but it doesn't hurt to be healthy (there are plenty of skinny guys with gyno).

If your gyno does not partially resolve within a few months you can try increasing the SERM dose (studies find this often effective in non-responsive individuals), otherwise if it remains unresolved for a year of treatment then you are probably stuck with irreversible gyno. You can discontinue the SERM medication, since your only remaining option for treatment is surgical removal of the gyno (which can be a good option if you get a good surgeon). Both surgery and regular remission of gyno do not necessarily prevent you from flare-ups of gyno reoccurring, especially if you decide to resume finasteride, however as mentioned SERMs are very effective at preventing gyno, so you should probably consider using a low dose of a SERM alongside fin or at the very least whenever you feel possible symptoms of gyno developing.
​
I had written a much more detailed version of this post, however most of it didn't save, so eh. The statements are well supported by studies, though I didn't link them, I can in the comments if anyone questions the veracity of any of the claims.
I'll also note that most estimates of the prevalence of gynecomastia put it at around 25% of men in general. And like 70% of older men. This compared to the typical incidences of 1 in 1000 men reporting gyno in fin studies and the slightly less in placebo, kind of suggests that they may be under reporting gyno at a high rate, even estimates of fin-induced gyno at 1 in 100 men seem a bit underestimated considering how insanely common gyno is in general. Due to gyno being so common I'd personally suggest a preemptive SERM micro-dose alongside fin for everyone, especially if you ever get nipple sensitivity side-effects from fin, but realistically most people will struggle to acquire SERMs so I don't really expect this to be achievable for most.
Also for the dutasteride users you can just replace the word fin with dut since everything mentioned above applies 100% interchangeably to both, they even have similar reported rates of gyno.

Hi all,
Currently on trt dose of 200mg cyp per week(100mg e3.5d) + 800mg hcg. Got my first (trough) bloods back, which were taken at 10:30am on a Thursday. I started TRT on 6/17. I inject Friday morning and Monday evening, FYI.
Total test 1386; 264-916
Free test 26.0; 9.3-26.5
E2, sensitive 124.5; 8.0-35.0
I can post more if needed, but all else looked normal for the most part. Liver enzymes and prolactin were a little high. FT4 was on the lower end.
My doctor is recommending that I start taking 1mg of anastrozole (0.5 2x weekly) and keep everything else the same.
My long-term goal of trt is to avoid taking AI, but selfishly, I want to take as prescribed for another 6-8 weeks before I dial in my dose with no AI (probably start at 140mg per week and go from there). I’m almost at the 8 week mark (started 6/17) of my TRT journey. Gym wise, my weight is up 12 lbs in the last 4 weeks and strength has gradually improved on a weekly basis.
My e2 is obviously 4x the normal range and needs to get addressed. Side effects come and go, and have seemed to normalize a bit in the last 2 weeks. They include mood swings/irritability, some fatigue (been supplementing w/ 400mg caffeine to offset) and slight water retention/swollen ankles.
Since I’m wanting to continue my mini blast, I’m thinking it might be worth trying 0.25mgm with my next two shots (Friday morning, Monday evening) to see how I feel. I’ve read that I could go in for another blood test in 2 weeks to see my new e2 baseline, is that accurate? Not a huge fan of AIs as I’ve taken with a clomid protocol in the past, but want to reap the benefits of my current testosterone levels.
Any other recommendations/suggestions would be appreciated!

39, DOR, new IVF cycle using HGH
Im new here! I been lurking for few days and decided to share my cycle/crazy journey. Ive been battling infertility for 3yrs.
I have very abnormal/complicated infertility history...I started seeing an RE (2017) and began the medicated IUI & developed Angioedema during the cycle (anaphylactic reactions: swollen face, mouth/tongue) and had to do a lengthy work up for this phenomena, including frequent visits to the ER- or standby with Epi-pen incase my throat closed up. No one knew why I was having this reaction and the allergist/immunologist put me on Prednisone. After failed medicated IUI, RE wanted to change my treatment plan to Clomid & or just lower dose of Menopur (less aggressive) & began that process for 6 months....with mild Angioedema cases monthly. Each time it failed, I suffered Angioedema (bed ridden for a week) and back on Prednisone. To make this story short, I took Prednisone off and on for a year, saw 5 diff specialist only to have all the doctors puzzled with no explanation but “you have auto immune issues...which we havent figured out”. All the doctors said stop doing infertility treatment and you’ll live! Oddly true, Im totally fine if im not on any hormone manipulations. But, with my advanced childbearing age (39), with DOLow AMH, I kept pushing thru bc time wasnt on my side. I started Acupuncture 2x a week, took herbs,...& realized even Herbs made me swell (not as severe but def had reactions), so I switched TCM & switched to supplements.
Fast fwd Fall 2019....I pulled the trigger and did conventional IVF (short protocol-FSH/menopucetrotide). Unfortunately, I was a poor responder (AFC 9, only 2 follicles grew, retrieved 3, 1 made to day 3 (grade 8A), fresh transfer failed & my body had severe reactions!! I was bed ridden for weeks and on all kind of meds and additional months of Prednisone. Mind you, being on Prednisone for a year makes you feel awful. Anyways, I suffered alot. I told myself i was going to live and took 8 months off. I started taking supplements, did acupuncture and changed my diet (eliminated dairy, gluten, sugar) and exercised almost every day (walked 3 miles) & rescued a dog (best decision!).
Fast fwd to today, after having 3 consult with diff RE, I found a doctor who was intrigued by my case. I went in on day 1 of my cycle (AFC 9, AMH 1.3 (this went up from 0.64 being the lowest to 0.99 from April 2020) and so we started stim on this past Friday.
Currently taking 300iu GonalF, 100mg Clomid, Omnitrope(HGH), Melatonin 3mg and still taking supplements and acupuncture. Its been one hell of a ride in 3years but reading everyone’s stories on here gave me sense of belonging.
Id love to hear if anyone is also cycling same as me. Also, if anyone has crazy story to share with me, please do!!

Im new here! I been lurking for few days and decided to share my cycle/crazy journey. Ive been battling infertility for 3yrs.
I have very abnormal/complicated infertility history...I started seeing an RE (2017) and began the medicated IUI & developed Angioedema during the cycle (anaphylactic reactions: swollen face, mouth/tongue) and had to do a lengthy work up for this phenomena, including frequent visits to the ER- or standby with Epi-pen incase my throat closed up. No one knew why I was having this reaction and the allergist/immunologist put me on Prednisone. After failed medicated IUI, RE wanted to change my treatment plan to Clomid & or just lower dose of Menopur (less aggressive) & began that process for 6 months....with mild Angioedema cases monthly. Each time it failed, I suffered Angioedema (bed ridden for a week) and back on Prednisone. To make this story short, I took Prednisone off and on for a year, saw 5 diff specialist only to have all the doctors puzzled with no explanation but “you have auto immune issues...which we havent figured out”. All the doctors said stop doing infertility treatment and you’ll live! Oddly true, Im totally fine if im not on any hormone manipulations. But, with my advanced childbearing age (39), with DOLow AMH, I kept pushing thru bc time wasnt on my side. I started Acupuncture 2x a week, took herbs,...& realized even Herbs made me swell (not as severe but def had reactions), so I switched TCM & switched to supplements.
Fast fwd Fall 2019....I pulled the trigger and did conventional IVF (short protocol-FSH/menopucetrotide). Unfortunately, I was a poor responder (AFC 9, only 2 follicles grew, retrieved 3, 1 made to day 3 (grade 8A), fresh transfer failed & my body had severe reactions!! I was bed ridden for weeks and on all kind of meds and additional months of Prednisone. Mind you, being on Prednisone for a year makes you feel awful. Anyways, I suffered alot. I told myself i was going to live and took 8 months off. I started taking supplements, did acupuncture and changed my diet (eliminated dairy, gluten, sugar) and exercised almost every day (walked 3 miles) & rescued a dog (best decision!).
Fast fwd to today, after having 3 consult with diff RE, I found a doctor who was intrigued by my case. I went in on day 1 of my cycle (AFC 9, AMH 1.3 (this went up from 0.64 being the lowest to 0.99 from April 2020) and so we started stim on this past Friday.
Currently taking 300iu GonalF, 100mg Clomid, Omnitrope(HGH), Melatonin 3mg and still taking supplements and acupuncture. Its been one hell of a ride in 3years but reading everyone’s stories on here gave me sense of belonging.
Id love to hear if anyone is also cycling same as me. Also, if anyone has crazy story to share with me, please do!!

So, this summer, for lack of funds, I did some Clomid cycles. After the third, I had an abnormally light period, but I figured it was the Clomid messing with my lining, and I was planning to take a break for a few cycles to let it build up again. Then a week before my next was due, I started spotting. Spotted intermittently for about a week. Took a pregnancy test, which unsurprisingly was negative. So I called my doctor's office and got some Provera to force a period.
But I'm afraid to take it. I took two more (expired) tests and both were clearly negative. But... I've taken tests after a trigger shot and had them be negative. And I've heard of people who were pregnant and didn't know it because all the tests they took were negative. My gut says I'm not, because I don't get that lucky. My anxiety says "what if..."
So. Should I get a blood pregnancy test to be absolutely certain, or should I just go ahead and take the stupid pills?
The only "symptoms" I'm having, aside from the wonky bleeding, is just today the tiniest bit of nausea - more of a tummyache, really - and my hands are swollen like I'm bloated or something.

It has taken me most of my life to understand that God truly has a plan and has worked miracles in my life. I just want to share how great He is. I was born 3 months early in 1976 I weighed 2lbs 14oz. a baby born the same day as me weighed 3lbs died. I spent 2 months in NICU and when I got out I was 4lbs. I made a lot of dumb choices over the next 20 years and suddenly became violently ill I went to my ENT who pulled my mom aside and told her and me that he thought I had lymphoma due to my lymph node glad being abnormally infected and swollen to the size of a golf ball. After a biopsy and testing for six months no cancer nothing was positive. Just went away. More dumb choices follow and I am now going on divorce #2 with a 4 yr. old. Still ignoring His plan and not truly believing. Meet wife #3 (who’s not religious) and BAM! I see God working in my life due to our meeting. We passed each other to and from work almost daily. We lived 4 blocks from each other. Come to find out her dad knew some of my cousins, but what really blew me away was her grandma and my grandma were friends and our moms played together as kids. Now I believe God has a plan for us all. We date for 5 years and get married in 2009. All this time never a “oops” or a pregnancy scare. Wife is diagnosed with PCOS and endometriosis has to have emergency surgery for a cyst that was believed to be bleeding. Dr. Is in OR for twice as long as needed because he finds a fibroid tumor the size of my fist. Says he cleaned up all the endometriosis. Try to get pregnant using clomid and other pills but cannot afford IVF or adopting. Wife is losing what tiny faith she had in God. We fight more and more. Tried to consider fostering but chance of an infant are slim to none. Go for second laparoscopic surgery with different Dr. says scar tissue is every where has kinked one Fallopian tube and the other is partially blocked (dye test to conferm) wants to do major life risking surgery to correct this. I cannot lose her. We decide to give up and raise my/our now 15 year old and travel once she turns 18. 15 year old has a hicjey put on her by her stepdad (All this time fighting for primary custody if her) abd i get full custody of her. Shortly after we find out wife’s pregnant. Carries to full term a healthy baby girl who’s now almost 3. IF YOU DOUBT HE WORKS IN YOUR LIFE IM TELLING YOU HE DOES!!!!!!I BELIEVE WITH ALL THAT I AM. I hope you all have a blessed day! Love ya!

Alrighty, long awaited, perhaps overdue, my experience having a laparoscopy, hysteroscopy with D&C, and chromopertubation.
History: 32 years old, 14 months TTC, no history of pregnancy or loss. No other major health concerns. Been on 25mcg of Synthroid since November for sub-clinical hypothyroid. All other blood work came back within normal range. Previously taken one round of Clomid (unmonitored) which ended up with me getting shingles (boo).
Timeline:
First saw my current doctor in January after too many run arounds from my previous doctor. Complained of (obviously) not getting pregnant, but also we discussed my history of painful cycles (800mg of ibuprofen every six hours or I wasn't making it to work) and the large-ish clots that I get. He mentioned endometriosis and/or possibility of a polyp at the time and ordered a transvaginal ultrasound, requested we get an updated semen analysis done, and I requested an AMH test - I figured no point in considering surgery if there were no eggs to work with.
February, ultrasound results looked weird - the doc who read the scans suggested I have a slightly arcuate uterus but my doctor didn't agree. He also saw other shadows on the images he didn't like the looks of. AMH results came back within normal range and Mr. Dessert's SA came back great so an exploratory lap seemed like the best option. We scheduled for late March. The doctor didn't have any requests as far as where in my cycle the procedure be performed so I was able to schedule it around work.
Pre-op:
Pre-op day meant two appointments. One for more blood work, one to review with the doctor of everything he planned to do. Laparoscopy for suspected endometriosis, hysteroscopy with D&C to investigate whatever may be going on in there, and a chromopertubation (basically an HSG but the doctor watches the dye come through your tubes while still using the laparoscopic camera).
Pre-op instructions:
I wasn't told to do much in the way of preparations - just not eat or drink after midnight. I was given an arrival time, I was told to take my Synthroid as usual with as little water as possible. I was told to expect a 60-90 minute procedure and reassured that I'd be going home that afternoon. I was also told two weeks of "pelvic rest" (the polite medical way of saying "don't stick anything in your vagina").
Day of surgery, a Wednesday:
Arrived around 9, did all my check-in paperwork (mostly financial) and got taken back for a pregnancy test (negative of course). Changed into a gown, started panicking over the "what if my tubes don't work!?" fears. They checked weight, blood pressure, all those vital sign things, and got an IV put in. I met the surgical nurse, saw my doctor again. I asked my doctor not to tell Mr. Dessert any bad news without me awake/there for it, which he agreed to. I was starting to panic at this point so they gave me three tablets of Lyrica for anxiety in addition to the antibiotics. They wheeled me back to the "ready room" I guess you'd call it. By that point I was pretty heavily crying, it was all pretty emotional for me. I met the anesthesiologist and I think they put something in my IV at that point because I don't remember anything after that.
Apparently what was scheduled to be a 60-90 minute procedure lasted for four hours. I remember waking up and being really confused as to how it was almost 5PM. I had quite a bit of endometriosis that he either removed or ablated (there was some that he was not able to peel back away from my uterus, apparently). He called in one additional surgeon to check out my gallbladder, which had endo on it and was swollen but not in an "it needs to come out" way, and a second extra surgeon for an additional opinion on the two hernias he found (which he told me today are fairly common and more of an "address if they become problematic" type thing). He also did find a polyp in my uterus, which he removed. But my chromopertubation was really good! He said as soon as he pushed the dye in, it came out right away, so perfect tubal patency, yay!
The doctor came out and checked on me before we left, but I don't remember that. They tried to make me pee before I left but with all the not-drinking-fluids there was nothing in me. It felt like I was gushing blood when I first stood up, and they gave me a pad to wear home. I made Mr. Dessert explain what happened like 3902 times, none of which I really remember doing haha! He told me that while I was waking up I was insistent upon going to get Italian ice from a place about an hour away, so we better go do that soon.
Doc sent me home that evening with prescriptions for 600mg of ibuprofen and 5/325 norcos, 12 pictures of my insides, and four incisions held together with glue (no stitches!).
Recovery:
As I said, surgery was Wednesday. I went to bed basically as soon as I ate, though I couldn't tell you what I ate - that whole day is pretty much a blur. I sat around the next couple days, marathoning Bones on Hulu, coloring and napping. I didn't have any of the chest pain from the gas that I was told to expect. I was expecting pain like having done a bunch of sit-ups, but it was not like that. My stomach just felt loose, like my organs were going to fall out of my navel. I stayed home from work Thursday and Friday. By Saturday the only thing that was really tough was getting out of the recliner. I took my last pain med Saturday morning. Sunday I was pretty much doing everything normally, just holding my stomach in as I went up and down the stairs. I took my last ibuprofen Sunday morning. Went back to work Monday and worked a full 40 hours that week (I work a desk job; if I were more active I could see needing another day or two).
As of two weeks out I'm more than ready to resume all regular activities. I was given a "no lifting over 20 pounds" restriction that I probably exceeded when doing laundry, but other than that I took it easy (no working out, no roller derby!).
I've had what was sort of a period since then - cramping for a day, a day of spotting, a day that I'd say was "light" by Fertility Friend standards, another of spotting, and then nothing. The surgery occurred around ovulation, so we will see how the next cycle or so plays out.
Going forward:
I had my two week follow-up today. Doctor was really pleased with how things went, and that even though there was a lot of endo, he feels like he was able to get it all. He didn't seem concerned about the polyp. He thinks basically that either the polyp or the endo could have been causing our infertility and is confident going forward - my plan is six cycles unmedicated and, if needed, to go in for a prescription for letrozole, and he agreed to that. He had sent samples out for analysis and they confirmed endometriosis so we talked about long-term care for that (chiefly birth control) as well.
My advice for the days immediately following surgery:
-Yoga pants are your friend.
-Ice your tummy! It helped both to keep my cats off of my wounds but also to reduce swelling. I ended up with a more noticeable bruise from the IV than around any of my incisions.
-Been meaning to quit caffeine? This is a good time to do that. You're going to be taking pain meds and napping a whole bunch anyway, so you may as well. (I did have a noticeable headache on Friday, but I was already off work so I just slept more).
-Go for regular walks, as you can. Between the anesthesia and the pain meds, that's all kinds of stuff to stop up your bowels, and it was legit the first thing my doctor asked me about today. Mr. Dessert walked me regularly, for increasing distances. I did take a stool softener as soon as I got home from surgery, too, as others here recommended. Also stay hydrated! That will help too.
-Mr. Dessert got me into a "meds every three hours" cycle - take ibuprofen, three hours later pain meds, three hours after that more ibuprofen, and so forth. That way I was never hitting the end of both medications at once.
So...there's probably way more than you wanted to read, but there you go. Happy to answer any and all questions that you may have about any of this (even if it's "holy cow why did you write so much!?"). :)

I posted this in TFAB but was told it would be helpful here as well. I'm more of a lurker in this community, but would love to share my experience so that those of you who are scheduled for a laparoscopy in the near future know what to expect.
Long post ahead, but I tried to include as many details as possible because I know a few other TFABers are going through their lap later this month.
Background:
26, female, in great general health. Began TTC in January 2017. Got pregnant fairly quickly but then had a MC at 6 weeks in late May, 2017. Continued to try, with great timing each month, confirmed ovulation w/ OPKs and temping, but no luck. Cycles are normally 26 days, with ovulation on CD13. Periods are usually 4 days, light bleeding, very minor cramps.
Testing began in December, 2017. First, my husband had a sperm analysis - results were great. I had CD3 testing, which included FSH, LH, Estradiol, and TSH - all came back normal. Then I had a HSG - this showed normal uterine shape, normal right fallopian tube, but a blocked left fallopian tube.
My OBGYN requested we try for 3 more cycles naturally, and if we didn't get a BFP, next step would be a laparoscopy.
Laparoscopy and Chromopertubation Overview
We reached cycle 14 with no luck. This was my 3rd cycle post-HSG, so I called my doctor to schedule the lap. The lap was scheduled for what we estimated to be CD8 of my next cycle. We scheduled a pre-op for 2 weeks pre-surgery, and a post-op for 2 weeks post-surgery.
At the pre-op, we discussed the surgery, she explained how it worked, went over the risks, and told me what I would need to do in the week leading up to the surgery. My doctor said no ibuprofen or aspirin in the week leading up to surgery, and no food/drink 12 hours prior to the surgery time. She explained that it would likely be one small incision to insert the camera, as the main goal was just to look around and determine if my tube could be unblocked. If it looked like the blockage was accessible (at the very end of the tube), they would make a couple more incisions to insert the tools so that they could remove the blockage. They would also insert a catheter into my uterus (just like during my HSG) so that they could push dye and check the tubes during the procedure.
On surgery day, we arrived at the surgery center at 6:30am. My surgery was scheduled to begin at 8:15am. I signed some consent forms, gave a urine sample (and was very appreciative that the nurse only said that they needed a urine sample, and not that they needed to do a pregnancy test), and changed into my surgery gown and socks. I removed all jewelry. I wore a sports bra with no metal, which was nice because as long as the bra doesn't have metal you're allowed to keep it on under your surgery gown. Everything else had to be removed.
The nurses came in (nurse and student nurse), and inserted an IV into my hand. I let the student nurse practice on me since needles don't bother me (and I'm happy to provide a learning opportunity), and she had to stick me a few times but eventually got it. :) They began an IV drip with fluids and electrolytes to keep me hydrated. Just before they took me back for surgery, they also added an IV antibiotic.
Before surgery, I spoke to the nurses, my OBGYN who would be performing the surgery, the anesthesiologist, and the radiology tech. Each one came into my room separately to go over relevant medical history, tell me what they would be doing throughout the procedure, and answer any questions.
Once all the doctors/techs were done going over everything, the radiology tech had me use the restroom one more time to empty my bladder, then wheeled me back to the surgical area. I got off the prep/recovery bed, and walked into the surgery room where I got up on the surgery table. They covered me with warm blankets, gave me some oxygen, strapped my arms onto the table, and just chatted with me while each doctor finished getting their part of the procedure prepped. The anesthesiologist then pushed lidocaine through my IV (to numb me up because the anesthesia apparently stings a bit), then pushed the anesthesia. My vision got blurry, face got tingly, and that's all I remember before I went lights out.
(This next bit is obviously stuff I don't remember, but what I was told from the doctor and my husband). Once I was asleep, they put my legs into stirrups, and inserted the speculum and catheter for the chromopertubation. They made a small incision (~1.5 cm) in my bellybutton to insert the camera and the gas. They inflated my abdominal cavity with gas so they could see around the organs. While using the camera to watch, they pushed dye through my uterus. They saw it spill out of my right tube, but not my left. They used to camera to explore around the left tube and determined that the blockage was internal, and not in an area where they could clear it out. They also discovered a good amount of endo. This was a surprise, because I have none of the classic symptoms of endometriosis other than infertility. When they identified the endo, they made two more incisions - one on my lower left side (~0.75 cm) and one just below my bikini line in the pubic area (~0.5 cm). Using these two incisions, they were able to insert tools to clear out the visible endometriosis tissue. I had some on my bladder, uterus, intestines, pelvis, and I forget where else. Once they were done with the procedure, they removed as much gas as possible from my abdomen and closed up the small incisions with clear surgical tape (no stitches). Total time in the operating room was maybe 45-60 minutes.
When I woke up, I was in the recovery room. I was too groggy to open my eyes, and drifted in and out of sleep for a bit. The nurse who was watching my recovery kept asking how my pain was. I rated it a 9 out of 10 when I first woke up, so she gave me some IV fentanyl. The next time she asked about my pain, it was still an 8/10, so she pushed more IV fentanyl. Eventually she had maxed out the fentanyl, so she checked with the doctor and gave me 2 pain pills (don't know what these were, most likely hydrocodone or oxycodone). Once I took the pills, my pain started to subside to around a 4/10. She had me take occasional sips of water, and eat a few saltine crackers to make sure I didn't get nauseous. She informed me that the anesthesiologist had given me some IV anti-nausea as I woke up, so I'm sure that helped. She asked if I was ready to leave, but I told her I needed a bit more time to sleep.
Eventually around 11:30ish, I was ready to go. My husband helped me get dressed into soft underwear, a loose pair of sweatpants, and a loose t-shirt. I put on a pad, because I had some bleeding/spotting. The nurse helped me into a wheelchair and took me to our car. I was still pretty loopy, so I needed help moving around and getting into the vehicle. I was pretty hungry (and not nauseous at all), so we got me an egg mcmuffin meal with a frappucino from McDonalds (this was apparently the first thing I requested while waking up from anesthesia lol). We went home, and I laid down on the couch. I slept off and on throughout the day, and made sure to take my hydrocodone pills every 4-6 hours as prescribed. The nurse said it was very important I stay on top of the pain, and not fall behind on the pills, because then you end up in a lot of pain while waiting for the next pill to kick in.
My pain the day of surgery was not terrible. I was definitely tight around the stomach area, and it took some walking around to get loose before I was able to stand up straight and not hunched over. I definitely needed assistance laying down/getting up, because using any abdominal muscles hurt a bunch. My husband helped lift me up to a sitting position so that I didn't have to use any muscles. I was able to get up and down from sitting just fine. The gas pain wasn't terrible - I would compare it to the stitch you get in your chest when you're running. I felt a small amount of gas pain in my shoulder (a pinching sort of pain), but that went away after ~12 hours. The majority of my pain was under my ribs, and it wasn't bad. Coughing, sneezing, blowing nose, or anything that you use your core for was definitely a no-go. You don't realize how much you use your core until you have an abdominal surgery. My abdomen was definitely swollen and tender to the touch. I kept an ice pack on my abdomen all day yesterday and all last night, and that helped reduce the pain and swelling a bunch.
Now, the day after surgery, I already feel a million times better. I still need my husband's assistance getting up from a laying position, as I can't use my abdominal muscles without it hurting. However, I'm moving better, not as stiff, and feeling much less groggy. I've been staying on top of my pain pills, which I'm sure is helping a ton. My gas pains are totally gone - it's just stiffness/soreness in the abdomen. I think laying down all yesterday helped a ton to make sure the gas didn't migrate up into my shoulders. I spent pretty much the whole day horizontal, except for the few times I'd get up to walk for 10 minutes every few hours to loosen up. I've continued to have a little bleeding - too much for a panty liner but not enough to fill a regular pad. A light pad would probably be perfect. I haven't showered yet (I am supposed to wait at least 24 hours after the surgery), but will be doing so tonight. The nurse also said the narcotics could make me constipated, and recommended I take a laxative if I didn't poop within the first 24 hours. My husband is on the way to the store right now to get the laxatives.
I think that's about everything...it honestly wasn't bad at all. The hardest part is not using your core for anything, because like I said, you don't realize how much you use your core until you've had surgery in/around that area and it hurts. Otherwise, it's looking like I'll be back at work on Monday. I'm definitely bummed to learn I have endo, but also glad to have an answer of why this is taking so long. Also, the fact that my doctor cleared out the endo should hopefully boost our chances. I'm looking forward to my follow-up appointment in 2 weeks so we can discuss next steps. I believe the next step is going to be clomid or femara, combined with either timed intercourse or IUI.
Feel free to ask any questions, I know this was super long, but I'm hoping it'll help someone who is getting ready for a lap in their near future.

Long post ahead, but I tried to include as many details as possible because I know a few other TFABers are going through their lap later this month.
Background:
26, female, in great general health. Began TTC in January 2017. Got pregnant fairly quickly but then had a MC at 6 weeks in late May, 2017. Continued to try, with great timing each month, confirmed ovulation w/ OPKs and temping, but no luck. Cycles are normally 26 days, with ovulation on CD13. Periods are usually 4 days, light bleeding, very minor cramps.
Testing began in December, 2017. First, my husband had a sperm analysis - results were great. I had CD3 testing, which included FSH, LH, Estradiol, and TSH - all came back normal. Then I had a HSG - this showed normal uterine shape, normal right fallopian tube, but a blocked left fallopian tube.
My OBGYN requested we try for 3 more cycles naturally, and if we didn't get a BFP, next step would be a laparoscopy.
Laparoscopy and Chromopertubation Overview
We reached cycle 14 with no luck. This was my 3rd cycle post-HSG, so I called my doctor to schedule the lap. The lap was scheduled for what we estimated to be CD8 of my next cycle. We scheduled a pre-op for 2 weeks pre-surgery, and a post-op for 2 weeks post-surgery.
At the pre-op, we discussed the surgery, she explained how it worked, went over the risks, and told me what I would need to do in the week leading up to the surgery. My doctor said no ibuprofen or aspirin in the week leading up to surgery, and no food/drink 12 hours prior to the surgery time. She explained that it would likely be one small incision to insert the camera, as the main goal was just to look around and determine if my tube could be unblocked. If it looked like the blockage was accessible (at the very end of the tube), they would make a couple more incisions to insert the tools so that they could remove the blockage. They would also insert a catheter into my uterus (just like during my HSG) so that they could push dye and check the tubes during the procedure.
On surgery day, we arrived at the surgery center at 6:30am. My surgery was scheduled to begin at 8:15am. I signed some consent forms, gave a urine sample (and was very appreciative that the nurse only said that they needed a urine sample, and not that they needed to do a pregnancy test), and changed into my surgery gown and socks. I removed all jewelry. I wore a sports bra with no metal, which was nice because as long as the bra doesn't have metal you're allowed to keep it on under your surgery gown. Everything else had to be removed.
The nurses came in (nurse and student nurse), and inserted an IV into my hand. I let the student nurse practice on me since needles don't bother me (and I'm happy to provide a learning opportunity), and she had to stick me a few times but eventually got it. :) They began an IV drip with fluids and electrolytes to keep me hydrated. Just before they took me back for surgery, they also added an IV antibiotic.
Before surgery, I spoke to the nurses, my OBGYN who would be performing the surgery, the anesthesiologist, and the radiology tech. Each one came into my room separately to go over relevant medical history, tell me what they would be doing throughout the procedure, and answer any questions.
Once all the doctors/techs were done going over everything, the radiology tech had me use the restroom one more time to empty my bladder, then wheeled me back to the surgical area. I got off the prep/recovery bed, and walked into the surgery room where I got up on the surgery table. They covered me with warm blankets, gave me some oxygen, strapped my arms onto the table, and just chatted with me while each doctor finished getting their part of the procedure prepped. The anesthesiologist then pushed lidocaine through my IV (to numb me up because the anesthesia apparently stings a bit), then pushed the anesthesia. My vision got blurry, face got tingly, and that's all I remember before I went lights out.
(This next bit is obviously stuff I don't remember, but what I was told from the doctor and my husband). Once I was asleep, they put my legs into stirrups, and inserted the speculum and catheter for the chromopertubation. They made a small incision (~1.5 cm) in my bellybutton to insert the camera and the gas. They inflated my abdominal cavity with gas so they could see around the organs. While using the camera to watch, they pushed dye through my uterus. They saw it spill out of my right tube, but not my left. They used to camera to explore around the left tube and determined that the blockage was internal, and not in an area where they could clear it out. They also discovered a good amount of endo. This was a surprise, because I have none of the classic symptoms of endometriosis other than infertility. When they identified the endo, they made two more incisions - one on my lower left side (~0.75 cm) and one just below my bikini line in the pubic area (~0.5 cm). Using these two incisions, they were able to insert tools to clear out the visible endometriosis tissue. I had some on my bladder, uterus, intestines, pelvis, and I forget where else. Once they were done with the procedure, they removed as much gas as possible from my abdomen and closed up the small incisions with clear surgical tape (no stitches). Total time in the operating room was maybe 45-60 minutes.
When I woke up, I was in the recovery room. I was too groggy to open my eyes, and drifted in and out of sleep for a bit. The nurse who was watching my recovery kept asking how my pain was. I rated it a 9 out of 10 when I first woke up, so she gave me some IV fentanyl. The next time she asked about my pain, it was still an 8/10, so she pushed more IV fentanyl. Eventually she had maxed out the fentanyl, so she checked with the doctor and gave me 2 pain pills (don't know what these were, most likely hydrocodone or oxycodone). Once I took the pills, my pain started to subside to around a 4/10. She had me take occasional sips of water, and eat a few saltine crackers to make sure I didn't get nauseous. She informed me that the anesthesiologist had given me some IV anti-nausea as I woke up, so I'm sure that helped. She asked if I was ready to leave, but I told her I needed a bit more time to sleep.
Eventually around 11:30ish, I was ready to go. My husband helped me get dressed into soft underwear, a loose pair of sweatpants, and a loose t-shirt. I put on a pad, because I had some bleeding/spotting. The nurse helped me into a wheelchair and took me to our car. I was still pretty loopy, so I needed help moving around and getting into the vehicle. I was pretty hungry (and not nauseous at all), so we got me an egg mcmuffin meal with a frappucino from McDonalds (this was apparently the first thing I requested while waking up from anesthesia lol). We went home, and I laid down on the couch. I slept off and on throughout the day, and made sure to take my hydrocodone pills every 4-6 hours as prescribed. The nurse said it was very important I stay on top of the pain, and not fall behind on the pills, because then you end up in a lot of pain while waiting for the next pill to kick in.
My pain the day of surgery was not terrible. I was definitely tight around the stomach area, and it took some walking around to get loose before I was able to stand up straight and not hunched over. I definitely needed assistance laying down/getting up, because using any abdominal muscles hurt a bunch. My husband helped lift me up to a sitting position so that I didn't have to use any muscles. I was able to get up and down from sitting just fine. The gas pain wasn't terrible - I would compare it to the stitch you get in your chest when you're running. I felt a small amount of gas pain in my shoulder (a pinching sort of pain), but that went away after ~12 hours. The majority of my pain was under my ribs, and it wasn't bad. Coughing, sneezing, blowing nose, or anything that you use your core for was definitely a no-go. You don't realize how much you use your core until you have an abdominal surgery. My abdomen was definitely swollen and tender to the touch. I kept an ice pack on my abdomen all day yesterday and all last night, and that helped reduce the pain and swelling a bunch.
Now, the day after surgery, I already feel a million times better. I still need my husband's assistance getting up from a laying position, as I can't use my abdominal muscles without it hurting. However, I'm moving better, not as stiff, and feeling much less groggy. I've been staying on top of my pain pills, which I'm sure is helping a ton. My gas pains are totally gone - it's just stiffness/soreness in the abdomen. I think laying down all yesterday helped a ton to make sure the gas didn't migrate up into my shoulders. I spent pretty much the whole day horizontal, except for the few times I'd get up to walk for 10 minutes every few hours to loosen up. I've continued to have a little bleeding - too much for a panty liner but not enough to fill a regular pad. A light pad would probably be perfect. I haven't showered yet (I am supposed to wait at least 24 hours after the surgery), but will be doing so tonight. The nurse also said the narcotics could make me constipated, and recommended I take a laxative if I didn't poop within the first 24 hours. My husband is on the way to the store right now to get the laxatives.
I think that's about everything...it honestly wasn't bad at all. The hardest part is not using your core for anything, because like I said, you don't realize how much you use your core until you've had surgery in/around that area and it hurts. Otherwise, it's looking like I'll be back at work on Monday. I'm definitely bummed to learn I have endo, but also glad to have an answer of why this is taking so long. Also, the fact that my doctor cleared out the endo should hopefully boost our chances. I'm looking forward to my follow-up appointment in 2 weeks so we can discuss next steps. I believe the next step is going to be clomid or femara, combined with either timed intercourse or IUI.
Feel free to ask any questions, I know this was super long, but I'm hoping it'll help someone who is getting ready for a lap in their near future.

I have been with my doctor since 2009 and up until I had my first almost full-time pregnancy I loved him and recommended him to any and everyone that would listen. He was very direct which I liked and was the first doctor to take my weight issues seriously. Before getting pregnant, I had concerns about having PCOS but my doctor wasn't concerned and said if I start having more pronounced symptoms we would look into it. Well, I did start having more symptoms and I had it. He put me on a course of action that got my periods started again (yay because we were TTC) and I started losing weight like I never had before. He told me that he had read that women with PCOS have a higher success rate losing 5% of their weight than they do with clomid so he wanted to try that out and give it 6 months before we did clomid. At 7% weight loss and at the 6 month mark, I got pregnant and I had a miscarriage. He told me to wait 3 cycles before trying again. I got pregnant the 3rd cycle. Every thing that I read about miscarriages and PCOS, I should have been treated like a high risk patient and was fully prepared for this form of treatment and I wasn't. They had an ultrasound tech on site and if LO was fighting getting a good heartbeat we would get checked but nothing really beyond that. We had to wait until a full 20 weeks to find out the sex which was slightly annoying and then we had no other ultrasounds done at all which I thought was pretty standard and as more friends have had kids I have found that they aren't. Around 26-28 weeks, I ballooned out and could no longer wear any shoes that were not flip flops. I complained about being swollen every single visit and was drinking over 100 oz of water daily. My doctor told me the swelling was from being overweight, pregnant, and pregnant in the Memphis summer. I was throwing up every other night (at 2:30 on the dot) but still gained nearly 60 lbs while pregnant. The week I went into labor I started having combo of back labor and found out later the beginning of my liver shutting down Sunday night. It took about 20 minutes for my doctor to call me back. Thursday night/Friday morning starting around 6 am after being in pain all night and throwing up most of the night, I started calling my doctor and leaving messages with his answering service. I drove past his office which was closed at 9 am and went to the hospital. I was admitted around 10 am and the hospital didn't get ahold of my doctor until nearly noon although they had been able to reach one of the nurses. I ended up having HELLP syndrome, an emergency c-section (which someone that was not my doctor at all), and had one week hospital stay. While in the hospital, even when my doctor came to see me he didn't let me know what was going on or the nurse in charge of me. I went nearly 48 hours without eating because he wrote it in my files that I could have clear liquids but didn't communicate it to anyone. I found out because I threw a mega fit about needing the nutrients to feed my child. Because they couldn't get my BP down (it took a ton of drugs and a week), he passed me on to what ended up being the NP of the high risk doctor in my area. I loved her but once he passed me off I saw her only and she would confer with him and the high risk doctor in the area. My after visits with him went well and they were happy to see little dude and got me off the BP drugs fairly quickly. And then he gave me a document saying I could return to work after 6 weeks. I was in the hospital a week from an emergency c-section and nearly died from stroking out and my liver failing and he said I was fully healed and ready to go back to work at 6 weeks. I'm still very bitter and mad about it.
Before writing this, I was debating if I should go back to him for my annual or to start things up with someone that is a PCOS specialist and I've seen already that has given me supplements for PCOS and has me on a 28 day cycle for the first time in my life. After typing this though I think I know which way to go. But I really wanted to share this with my Cysters that are TTC, pregnant, thinking about maybe getting pregnant, etc. that it is important to listen to your body and no everything that you can know about being a pregnant cyster. I thought I knew but never heard of HELLP syndrome and was so raving mad that this was not brought up as a possibility that could happen even when they talked about pre-clampsia with me this severe, life-threatening condition was not brought up.

I have been with my doctor since 2009 and up until I had my first almost full-time pregnancy I loved him and recommended him to any and everyone that would listen. He was very direct which I liked and was the first doctor to take my weight issues seriously. Before getting pregnant, I had concerns about having PCOS but my doctor wasn't concerned and said if I start having more pronounced symptoms we would look into it. Well, I did start having more symptoms and I had it. He put me on a course of action that got my periods started again (yay because we were TTC) and I started losing weight like I never had before. He told me that he had read that women with PCOS have a higher success rate losing 5% of their weight than they do with clomid so he wanted to try that out and give it 6 months before we did clomid. At 7% weight loss and at the 6 month mark, I got pregnant and I had a miscarriage. He told me to wait 3 cycles before trying again. I got pregnant the 3rd cycle. Every thing that I read about miscarriages and PCOS, I should have been treated like a high risk patient and was fully prepared for this form of treatment and I wasn't. They had an ultrasound tech on site and if LO was fighting getting a good heartbeat we would get checked but nothing really beyond that. We had to wait until a full 20 weeks to find out the sex which was slightly annoying and then we had no other ultrasounds done at all which I thought was pretty standard and as more friends have had kids I have found that they aren't. Around 26-28 weeks, I ballooned out and could no longer wear any shoes that were not flip flops. I complained about being swollen every single visit and was drinking over 100 oz of water daily. My doctor told me the swelling was from being overweight, pregnant, and pregnant in the Memphis summer. I was throwing up every other night (at 2:30 on the dot) but still gained nearly 60 lbs while pregnant. The week I went into labor I started having combo of back labor and found out later the beginning of my liver shutting down Sunday night. It took about 20 minutes for my doctor to call me back. Thursday night/Friday morning starting around 6 am after being in pain all night and throwing up most of the night, I started calling my doctor and leaving messages with his answering service. I drove past his office which was closed at 9 am and went to the hospital. I was admitted around 10 am and the hospital didn't get ahold of my doctor until nearly noon although they had been able to reach one of the nurses. I ended up having HELLP syndrome, an emergency c-section (which someone that was not my doctor at all), and had one week hospital stay. While in the hospital, even when my doctor came to see me he didn't let me know what was going on or the nurse in charge of me. I went nearly 48 hours without eating because he wrote it in my files that I could have clear liquids but didn't communicate it to anyone. I found out because I threw a mega fit about needing the nutrients to feed my child. Because they couldn't get my BP down (it took a ton of drugs and a week), he passed me on to what ended up being the NP of the high risk doctor in my area. I loved her but once he passed me off I saw her only and she would confer with him and the high risk doctor in the area. My after visits with him went well and they were happy to see little dude and got me off the BP drugs fairly quickly. And then he gave me a document saying I could return to work after 6 weeks. I was in the hospital a week from an emergency c-section and nearly died from stroking out and my liver failing and he said I was fully healed and ready to go back to work at 6 weeks. I'm still very bitter and mad about it.
Before writing this, I was debating if I should go back to him for my annual or to start things up with someone that is a PCOS specialist and I've seen already that has given me supplements for PCOS and has me on a 28 day cycle for the first time in my life. After typing this though I think I know which way to go. Thanks for reading this.

In December, we had our first clomid cycle, and found out on New Year’s Eve that we were pregnant, at 7 weeks we found out that there were 2 heartbeats. We found out at 14 weeks we were having a boy and a girl. I never got morning sickness, food aversions, or any symptoms other than being tired, it was like a unicorn pregnancy until it wasn’t!
At our 24 week scan we got sent to see a Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) due to the twins measuring small. Reddit post here. Overall the twins did good at each growth scan, they were busting the weight gain targets by 2-3x what the MFM was looking for. I was also diagnosed with GD at 28 weeks, I jokingly asking if the GD canceled out them measuring small. I was diet controlled the rest of the pregnancy.
On 7/2 that night I started to itch SO bad, I could not sleep I was almost in tears. I called my OB’s office on 7/3 and insisted on an appointment. I saw a different provider, and the office was running 20 minutes late so I was an itchy ball of nerves. I had gained 8 lbs in a week, I was super swollen, and my BP was high so I was sent across the street to OB ER for observation. I was sobbing, I didn’t want to have the babies yet and I was terrified they were going to come too early at 30 weeks. As I was hooked up to the monitors for the babies, and serial pressures were taken, my BP started to come down. However, the OB on call, who happened to be my old gynecologist, wanted to keep me for a 24-hour urine, and to give me steroid shots in case they came early. They also sent out labs for bile salts to check for Cholestasis. I ended up having some protein in my urine, they wanted less than 300, I was in the 430 range. I was allowed to go home, and I followed up with my OB and MFM. I repeated the 24-hour urine and was less than 300, but my BP kept going up each appointment, I was on weekly with both the OB and MFM to monitor me, and the babies. I was getting biophyscical profiles (BPP’s) 2x a week, and growth scans every 2 weeks. I was able to get my c-section scheduled for 8/21 right at 37 weeks. I was a sweet summer child.
On 7/25 I had an appointment with my OB at noon and my blood pressure was high, like 160/10+. I was again sent across the street, and was put back on the monitors. I had a bag packed already from my previous hospital adventure. The doc on call was one I had never met, and I was napping when she came in to tell me we were having babies today. I looked at her and the words “No we are not” came out before I could stop myself. This was 3pm, and I called hubs, and work to let them know. I was sobbing again, I was scared to have my babies already, I was only 33 weeks. I called my mom and MIL to let them know so they could come. I got put in a room, and stayed on the monitors. My blood pressure was 180/110 range, thankfully babies were not phased. I got to talk to a NICU NP about what to expect, and finally started to calm down about what was going on.
I was able to walk into the OR, and it was super cold in there. There were lots of people, including the NP who was there just for the babies. I was so swollen they had a slightly hard time getting the spinal in. Once it was in, my legs went numb fast. I felt like I could move them but could not. At this point I was just in awe of what was going on. They got the drapes up and hubs came in. I could feel tugging, and heard suction. I was talking hubs through what they were doing. I heard them say he was out, and I kept holding my breath to listen if I heard cries, and when I did tears just streamed down my face. I kept waiting to hear another baby cry, and when I did my heart broke in the best way. I got a few minutes of skin to skin time before they were taken to the NICU. They were adorable, and tiny and perfect. Born at 6:26 for Orion Henry at 16 inches long 3lbs 10oz, and 6:27pm for Stella Marie at 17 inches long 3lbs 6oz. Hubs went with them to the NICU while they tied my tubes and put me back together. They gave me some good anxiety meds via IV when they were out. I was taken back to my room, and the cuffs were put on my feet to help with circulation. By 7:30 I was awake and aware enough to let family know they were here and doing well.
Post partum: I was on a magnesium drip for 12 hours for blood pressure problems, and they had me start pumping as soon as I was able after delivery. Overall, I was up and moving around as soon as the magnesium drip was take off. I was going to the NICU in a wheel chair on Wednesday, and my Wednesday evening I was walking down there and back. Thursday I was up and mobile alone just fine, I got staples and while they hurt I was able to move through it. I asked for the binder, and had that on except to shower. I was in the hospital for 6 days due to blood pressure issues, and while I wanted to be home it was nice to be near the NICU to see my babies.
Twins: Tuesday night they made it without oxygen, but got put on it Wednesday. Baby boy was larger and more developed so he has lead the way. They were being feed donor milk until my milk came in. Wednesday, I got to see them and they were so tiny, but I got some skin to skin time with baby boy. They had tubes in their mouths so you had to be careful. Thursday was more sleeping and more feeding for them. Friday morning they were both off oxygen, baby girl had to get caffeine to help her have less breathing events. Coming off oxygen they got nasogastric tubes, so they had less tubes. Saturday they got put on the bilirubin lights, mainly to be proactive. Sunday they got their IV’s out, and I got to attempt breastfeeding for the first time. 2 Weeks postpartum: The twin are still in the NICU, but getting better every day. I went back to work the day before they were 2 weeks old to save my FMLA time for when they come home. I am working part time and making it a point to go see them every day. Pumping is going well, I am alternating taking milk for them, and freezing milk at home for later. My output is really good, and I am glad for that. We try and breastfeed the twins when they are awake enough, and they latch for 5-10 minutes.
My takeaways: Be kind to yourself when things don’t go to plan. I was so determined to carry them longer. I didn’t fail, it just happened sooner than I wanted.

So I have been here lurking for awhile but I had a question and would like advice or opinions which ever can be offered. I'm 26 DH is 29. I have a DS7 from previous relationship. We have been trying for four years. Doc says nothing wrong with either of us. Although sometimes my opks don't always show I ovulate. My insurance doesn't cover fertility meds and I found an online pharmacy that I can buy clomid without a script....well I did it and now I'm sitting here with a generic version of clomid called furtile 50. The package says clomiphene citrate and then has furtile 50. Have I made a mistake? I should also mention I have actually taken this CD 3-7 and I felt fine. But my cycle after was horrendous like huge swollen boobs my mood swings were out of this world and I was a raging bitch and I swear I have never had craps that bad in my life! So I took it for two cycles. And still nothing. But I did ovulate so plus maybe? My friends either say just stop trying it'll happen then or my personal favorite well it's in gods hands he obviously just doesn't think you need another one (and then the light laughter after). So i don't know I guess I need more experienced people and their wisdom to either tell me I'm crazy for buying this online or just i give me advice that's helped you through this whole crazy sucky process.

I am one of these PCOS and I am in my 4th Clomid cycle.
First cycle I was overdosed and OB got nervous about my high estrogen values. We would rather not have twins as we already have two boys. So we didn't BD in cycle 1.
Second cycle I got pregnant. Yay! Test was right after New years eve. Positive! But not so high... Second test 3 days later showed 0 hcg. CP.
Third cycle was perfect. Except OC said I would def O on CD 14. Graph even looks a bit like CD 13. I even had to discard a temp to let FF know that I didn't O already. Turned out I O'd on CD 17. Kids sickness literally kept us from BD after CD 13...
So now cycle 4. I had a knee surgery on CD 10 with full range anaesthetic. Fckd up my temps. I had to discard several. Still I wonder why I don't get crosshairs at all. I know that I O'd either the 22nd (CD 16) or 23rd (CD 17). I had a bloodtest done on the 23rd and had a value that is related to ovulation. OB said it would happen the 21st (CD 14). She just doesn't get it. The graph again looks like it was CD 13. But I just KNOW that it was not. I get all swollen before ovulation, I actually feel like I have two balloons inside and they almost hurt when I sit down. The feeling is completely gone when ovulation is over. And I still had that feeling on the 23rd. Which was my 40th birthday. Wouldn't that be a grat story to pass on?
I wonder how I can make FF believe me. I would really like to see crosshairs and my dpo count... I even don't care if it says it was CD16 or CD 17. But it doesn't get the hang whatever I enter. I entered positive OPKs, I even entered 'ovulation days'. No reaction. Is it maybe because my premium membership ended? I am so hesitant to buy one. One month is so expansive and then I am in the middle of the TTW. End of next week I know if buying three months makes sense or not...
Also what annoys me is that I get this big blub of EWC about 4 to 7 days before ovulation. It is probably the stuff that is clogging the entrance in my cervix. I would love to put this data in somewhere, but FF is always thinking that this is something close to my ovulation. But it is not...
So blub is over. Thank you for your patience. I would be thankful for any kind words.
Edit: I completely forgot the link to my charts:
https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/698cee