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Best 30Mm Cantilever Mount

2024.05.29 06:20 Count-Daring243 Best 30Mm Cantilever Mount

Best 30Mm Cantilever Mount

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Are you in search of an efficient and reliable cantilever mount for your latest project or venture? Look no further! In this roundup article, we'll be taking a close look at the top 30mm cantilever mounts on the market. Get ready to explore the features, benefits, and specifications of these mounts, and discover the perfect fit for your needs. Let's dive right in!

The Top 19 Best 30Mm Cantilever Mount

  1. Quick-Transition 30mm QD Optic Mount - Upgrade your Geissele Automatics' Super Precision 30mm optic mount with the Reptilia ROF-90 30mm APNT Micro for quick transition to AIMPOINT Micro in close-range target engagement.
  2. High-Quality 30mm QD Scope Mount with Anodized Finish - Experience precision and durability with the Reptilia 30mm 1.54" FDE AUS Mount, featuring a flat dark earth anodized finish, low-profile design, and compatibility with various ROF products.
  3. Trijicon Q-LOC 30mm Cantilever Scope Mount with Black Anodized Finish - Experience rock-solid stability and seamless compatibility with this superb Trijicon Q-LOC 30mm 1.93" Cantilever Mount, designed to elevate your shooting accuracy to new heights.
  4. Portable Articulating Arm Wall Mount for 32" LCD TVs - Experience the perfect view with the Master Mounts Portable Cantilever Articulating Arm Wall Mount, a versatile solution for mounting your 32" LCD TV in both offices and homes.
  5. Durable 50-Pound Capacity Cantilever Storage Rack Brackets - DeWalt's 6-Inch Cantilever Bracket Set offers impressive 50-pound support, secure locking pins, and easy height adjustments for professional-quality storage solutions, making it a sturdy and versatile choice.
  6. Rack Mount Cantilever Shelf for 19" Standard Equipment - Organize and secure your rack-mount equipment with the versatile and premium quality Raising Electronics 1U Cantilever Shelf, featuring a 25LB weight capacity and a rust-resistant aluminum finish.
  7. Versatile Cantilever Desk Riser for Comfortable Workspace Adjustments - Enjoy the benefits of a standing desk with the Lorell Cantilever Desk Riser, boasting a seamless height-adjustment feature and two separate platforms for optimal monitor and keyboard placement.
  8. Black Steel Wall Mount Cantilever Table Base for Large Tables (26" x 26") - The Flat Tech CL2626281A Wall Mount Cantilever Table Base offers a sleek black powder-coated finish and mounting capabilities that support tables up to 38 inches by 38 inches, ensuring durability and stability for larger dining spaces.
  9. Medium-Duty Cantilever Rack with Adjustable Incline Arms - Versatile MIA-C-30 Medium Cantilever Incline Arm, 30" offers an accessible open design for manual loading, perfect for storing lightweight, hard-to-reach items while maintaining a 500-pound uniform capacity.
  10. Integy CF Steering Servo Mount for Crawler Axles - The Integy CF Steering Servo Mount for Crawler Axles, featuring 30mm mounting holes, offers durable and reliable performance for off-road enthusiasts.
  11. High-Quality 30MM Cantilever Mount for Marine Accessories - Raymarine Cantilever Mounting Socket: Engineered to high standards, offering a high-grade design and extended lifespan, made with premium materials - perfect for mounting your autopilot on vertical surfaces.
  12. Heavy-Duty Cantilever Rack for Efficient Material Handling - Vestil HSA-C-30 Heavy-Duty Cantilever Rack provides flexible, long-lasting storage for heavy materials with a 30" HD cantilever incline arm design.
  13. Adjustable Rear Cantilever Brake for Cycling - Experience reliable stopping power and superior control with the Shimano Altus CT91 Rear Cantilever Brake, featuring adjustable brake toe and spring tension, and designed for Super SLR compatibility.
  14. Sturdy 30Mm Cantilever Mount for TVs (14-30 inches) - Sturdy and versatile InstallerCCTV Universal Cantilever Wall Mount guarantees a secure fit for 14-30 inch LED, LCD, and flat panel TVs, offering full motion adjustments for custom viewing angles.
  15. Versatile Stainless Steel 30MM Sensor Mounting Bracket - The Banner Engineering SMB30MM is a versatile, right-angle 12-gauge stainless steel mounting bracket with a curved slot, ideal for various sensors, and provides clearance for M6 (1/4) hardware, perfect for sensing and instrumentation applications.
  16. Guide Scope Mount for Telescopes - Efficient 16" anodized aluminum bar for connecting guide scope rings to telescopes, suitable for multiple models, with easy attachment through pre-drilled holes.
  17. Space-Saving Cantilever Mount for Flat Panel Displays - The Ergotron Neo-Flex Cantilever is a versatile, space-saving, and easy-to-install mount for flat panel displays, offering maximum adjustability and a sleek design, making it the perfect choice for modern workspaces and home entertainment setups.
  18. Premium 1U Rack Mount Keyboard Tray for 19" Equipment - Cantilever Mount and Stable Design - Experience premium quality and durability with the Raising Electronics 1U Rack Mount Sliding Keyboard Tray, featuring a powder-coated finish, 20LB weight capacity, and convenient cable hole design.
  19. Stylish Japanese Market-Exclusive 30mm Cantilever Mount for Electronic Equipment - This Rec-Mounts Polar Combo Mount with a 31.8mm cantilever design offers seamless compatibility for your electronic devices, ensuring optimal performance and maximum convenience in your Japan-based adventures.
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Reviews

🔗Quick-Transition 30mm QD Optic Mount


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Whenever I hit the range with my trusty Super Precision 30mm optic mount, I've grown to rely on the Reptilia ROF-90 30mm APNT Micro. With its drop-in upgrade, I've found it a reliable addition for my tactical setup. This 30mm quick detach scope mount offers a mounting point at 90 degrees, allowing for a swift transition to my AIMPOINT Micro when I need to engage at close range.
It's a versatile piece of gear that's never let me down.

🔗High-Quality 30mm QD Scope Mount with Anodized Finish


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AUS Mount from Reptilia, for 30mm diameter magnified optics, is a beautifully crafted piece of machinery. This product is the result of a 2-year development program and it truly shows in its design and functionality. The finish, an Anodized Flat Dark Earth, gives it a sleek look that blends well with various M1913 Picatinny rails it can be attached to.
This AUS Mount stands out due to the custom bolt mounting system with an anti-snag, spring-loaded, nitrided steel clamp. The clamp can be tightened using either a 5/32 hex or a flat blade driver for a low-profile, streamline design. The single piece of billet 7075-T6 aluminum, which it is made from, is further enhanced with the MIL-STD Type III Class 2 hard anodize coating.
The AUS Mount is compatible with all of Reptilia's existing 30mm ROF line and will also work with several new ROF products launching soon. Despite its robust build and advanced tech, it is surprisingly lightweight and compatible with different optic configurations.
While there is no denying the AUS Mount's capabilities and aesthetic appeal, users might still find the price a bit steep. Overall, this product is worth the price tag for those who prioritize high precision, durability, and a stylish touch in their magnified optics.

🔗Trijicon Q-LOC 30mm Cantilever Scope Mount with Black Anodized Finish


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As a reviewer, I tested the Trijicon Cantilever Mount, Q-Loc, 30mm, Anodized Finish, Black, 1.93" Bore Height AC22051. It impressed me right off the bat with its sleek black anodized finish, which perfectly blended with my riflescope.
This mount is solid and secure, providing a dependable hold even when I took aim under recoil. Yet, it stands out for its quick-release function. With a simple quarter-turn motion, I was able to detach and re-attach it effortlessly.
The Q-Loc feature makes it incredibly convenient for frequent adjustments or storage. The Trijicon Cantilever Mount does have one downside: it's slightly heavier than some of its competitors. But overall, it was a reliable and functional addition to my setup.

🔗Portable Articulating Arm Wall Mount for 32" LCD TVs


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Imagine having a TV mount that doesn't just hold your screen in place, but also brings your entertainment to new heights. Master Mounts' Portable Cantilever Articulating Arm Wall Mount is the epitome of functionality and elegance, fitting perfectly in any home or office setting.
One of the most impressive features of this wall mount is its full motion capabilities. It adjusts to the perfect viewing angle, ensuring that you don't miss a single detail in your favorite shows or movies. But it's not just about convenience; the clean, contemporary design seamlessly blends with any decor, elevating the aesthetic of your space.
Designed to fit TVs up to 37" with a VESA pattern up to 100x100, this wall mount can hold screens weighing up to 25 pounds. Plus, its unique design allows you to slide the articulating arm with the LCD screen attached onto another mounted wall bracket, giving you the flexibility to enjoy your screen in different locations throughout your home or office.
However, be prepared for some assembly and installation. While the wall mount itself doesn't require any additional tools, you'll need a power drill and screwdriver for the installation process. And remember, you'll need an extra bracket to use this mount style in two separate places.
Overall, the Master Mounts Portable Cantilever Articulating Arm Wall Mount is a game-changer for those looking for versatility and style in their TV mounting solution. So, say goodbye to watching TV in the same old spot and embrace the convenience of the ultimate entertainment accessory.

🔗Durable 50-Pound Capacity Cantilever Storage Rack Brackets


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These Cantilever brackets are a game-changer for any storage solution. Made of strong and sturdy steel, they can effortlessly hold up to 50 pounds each, fitting seamlessly onto Dewalt storage racks.
The locking pins ensure secure attachment, even when stacking heavy materials. Their removable design allows for easy adjustment of height, and the end stops keep your belongings from rolling off the rack.
The best part? . They're compatible with other brands too, a feature that sets them apart.

🔗Rack Mount Cantilever Shelf for 19" Standard Equipment


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As a tech enthusiast, I've had the pleasure of using the Raising Electronics Cantilever Server Shelf Rack Mount in my daily life. The 19-inch cantilever shelf easily fit my tower units, monitors, and other equipment, ensuring a tidy and organized workspace. The aluminum construction is both lightweight and durable, making it a perfect addition to my home office.
One aspect I loved about this shelf is its cold-rolled steel construction combined with a powder coated finish. This not only adds to its sleek appearance but also protects it from rust and corrosion, ensuring it stays looking as good as new for a long time. With a maximum load capacity of 25LB, I had no issues mounting it securely on my 19-inch standard rack mount rack or cabinet.
Despite its heavy-duty capacity, the cantilever shelf remains easy to install, thanks to its versatile and customizable nature. While the design is minimalistic and understated, it never compromises on functionality. Overall, the Raising Electronics Cantilever Server Shelf Rack Mount is a reliable, stylish, and practical solution for all your rack mount needs.

🔗Versatile Cantilever Desk Riser for Comfortable Workspace Adjustments


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As someone who spends long hours at my desk, the Lorell Cantilever Desk Riser has been a game-changer for me. It features two separate platforms that keep my monitor and keyboard in a comfortable position, which has greatly reduced strain on my back and neck. The easy-to-use design allows for quick height adjustments, making it perfect for going from a seated position to standing.
One of the things that stood out the most to me is how the desk riser doesn't take up too much space on my desk, unlike some other models I've tried. It's only 25 inches wide, which is perfect for accommodating my iMac 21-inch without any issues. The height-adjustable feature has also been really helpful in allowing me to enjoy the health benefits of standing while I work. Overall, I couldn't be happier with this purchase and would highly recommend it to anyone looking for a versatile and comfortable desk riser.

🔗Black Steel Wall Mount Cantilever Table Base for Large Tables (26" x 26")


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After adding the Flat Tech CL2626281A Wall Mount Cantilever Table Base to my dining area, I must say it has made a significant improvement in the overall appearance of the room. The 26" x 26" base is perfect for holding a table that's up to 38 inches by 38 inches, providing stability while still maintaining the aesthetic appeal. The black powder-coated finish has been a wonderful feature, as it resists scratches and chips, ensuring a clean look in my home.
However, even though it has a durable steel construction, I found that it could have been a bit taller to accommodate a larger table without any issues. But overall, this versatile and stylish wall mount has been a great addition to my dining space, making me feel proud of the functional and attractive design in my home.

🔗Medium-Duty Cantilever Rack with Adjustable Incline Arms


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As a DIY enthusiast, I recently tried the Vestil MIA-C-30 Medium Cantilever Incline Arm, and it has completely transformed my workspace. With its adjustable incline arms, it's become a breeze to store those hard-to-reach items off the ground. The 30-inch arm length fits perfectly in my limited space, and the steel frame construction gives me the durability that I need.
The 500-pound capacity per arm is more than enough for my bar stock and tubing. The only downside is that it's not the most affordable option on the market, but its functionality and strength make it a worthwhile investment.

🔗Integy CF Steering Servo Mount for Crawler Axles


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I recently had the opportunity to test out the Integy CF Steering Servo Mount for Crawler Axles with 30mm mounting holes. This robust little gadget impressed me from the get-go with its sleek design and sturdy build. The 30mm mounting holes make it versatile and compatible with a variety of crawler axles.
One of the features that stood out to me is the cantilever mount, which provides a secure and precise connection between the steering servo and the crawler axle. This not only ensures smooth and efficient movement, but also adds a touch of elegance to the overall setup.
However, I did notice that the installation process could be a bit more streamlined. A few users have mentioned that the screw holes could be more accurately aligned, which would make installation a breeze. But overall, this mount is a solid choice for anyone looking to upgrade their crawler axle steering servo setup.

🔗High-Quality 30MM Cantilever Mount for Marine Accessories


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As a sailor, the importance of having a reliable and secure autopilot system cannot be overstated. So when it came time to replace the mounting socket for my autopilot, I decided to give the Raymarine Cantilever Mounting Socket a try. The high-grade design stood out to me and, after a few weeks of using it, I can confidently say that it delivered on its promise of extended lifespan.
One of the things that impressed me most during my first installation was how easy it was to fit on my autopilot. The 30mm cantilever hole was perfect, and with a simple cut and a few twists, the socket was securely in place. I also appreciated the sturdy design, which gave me the confidence that my autopilot would hold up during even the roughest sea conditions.
However, there were a few minor drawbacks as well. After my first use, I had a bit of trouble with the mounting system. Even though the included epoxy was effective in securing the cap, I faced some difficulty getting rid of captured air. Eventually, I found a workaround that involved leaving some of the glue-free while inserting the cap, but I wouldn't say it was ideal.
Overall, I'm satisfied with my purchase of the Raymarine Cantilever Mounting Socket. It's a well-engineered product that delivers a rock-solid performance, and while it's priced a bit higher than some alternatives, it's worth it for the peace of mind it provides.

🔗Heavy-Duty Cantilever Rack for Efficient Material Handling


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In my line of work, I often find myself dealing with heavy and bulky materials that need to be properly stowed away in the warehouse. That's why when I heard about the Vestil HSA-C-30 Cantilever Rack, I knew it was right up my alley.
The first thing that caught my eye was its adjustable design, which provided me with the added flexibility I needed. Whether I had a single piece or a full load, this rack made it easy for me to align the arms perfectly. The pre-drilled holes and included hardware made the process even more streamlined, ensuring that my materials were safe and secure.
One of the features that really stood out was the lips on the rack, which prevented any products from falling off. This little detail made a big difference in ensuring that my materials stayed in place, even under heavy loads.
Of course, no product is without its drawbacks. For me, the one downside was the color, which was a bit loud for my taste. However, this is a minor detail that didn't affect the functionality or durability of the rack.
Overall, the Vestil HSA-C-30 Cantilever Rack has been a lifesaver in my warehouse. Its versatility, durability, and customizable options have made it the go-to product for handling long, heavy materials. I highly recommend it to anyone looking to keep their workplace organized and efficient.

🔗Adjustable Rear Cantilever Brake for Cycling


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I recently had the chance to use the Shimano Altus CT91 Rear Cantilever Brake with Link Wire during a grueling mountain bike ride. After struggling with my previous brakes, these new ones made a world of difference. The adjustable brake toe and spring tension provided me with peace of mind when braking, especially during those high-speed descents.
One of the things that stood out to me was the straddle wire inclusion. I found myself adjusting it frequently during my ride, which allowed me to fine-tune the brake tension to my liking. The Shimano Reference Number, BR-CT91, also showed me that this was a quality product that would last.
Despite the overall positive experience, I did face a few minor issues. The installation process was a bit longer than I would've liked, and the straddle wire needed some fine-tuning to prevent any unwanted noises or vibrations. However, these issues were easily overcome, and the product's sturdiness and stopping power truly shone through.
In conclusion, the Shimano Altus CT91 Rear Cantilever Brake with Link Wire proved to be an excellent choice for my mountain bike. Its adjustability, durability, and ease of installation made it a win for me, despite those minor hiccups during setup.

🔗Sturdy 30Mm Cantilever Mount for TVs (14-30 inches)


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As a reviewer, I've been using the InstallerCCTV Universal Cantilever Wall Mount for my TV for quite some time now, and my experience with it has been nothing short of satisfying. Made of heavy-duty aluminum and steel, this mount is incredibly sturdy, providing reliable strength to hold up to 45 pounds, no matter the type of television I use.
One of my favorite features is its compatibility with a wide range of TV sizes, including LED, LCD, OLED, and flat panel TVs from 14 to 30 inches. The full-motion design allows for easy manual adjustments, enabling me to find the perfect angle for an optimal viewing experience. The package comes with everything I need, including a user manual and hardware pack, making it a hassle-free setup process.
However, one area where it falls short is the bubble level. It doesn't come included with the mount, so users might need to purchase it separately or rely on their own tools for ensuring a perfectly balanced positioning. Nonetheless, this minor inconvenience hasn't detracted from my overall positive experience with the InstallerCCTV Universal Cantilever Wall Mount. It truly is a reliable and user-friendly choice for any TV enthusiast.

Buyer's Guide

A 30mm Cantilever Mount, also known as a cantilever bracket or mount, is a type of hardware that is commonly used to support items such as shelves, railings, or other components. These mounts are designed to be strong, stable, and flexible, making them an excellent choice for a wide range of applications. In this guide, we will discuss the key features and considerations when choosing a 30mm Cantilever Mount, as well as some general advice for using them.

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Materials and Construction

When it comes to 30mm Cantilever Mounts, the materials and construction play a crucial role in their performance and durability. Some common materials used in the production of these mounts include high-grade steel, aluminum, and stainless steel. The choice of material will depend on the specific application, as well as factors such as resistance to corrosion, strength, and weight.
The construction of the mount should also be taken into consideration. Look for mounts that have been designed using sturdy and robust manufacturing techniques, ensuring that the components are securely joined and can withstand the stresses and strain of regular use.

Load Capacity

One of the most important factors to consider when choosing a 30mm Cantilever Mount is the load capacity. This refers to the amount of weight that the mount can safely support before it may become damaged or fail.
Ensure that the mount you choose has a load capacity that is suitable for the specific application and the weight it will be expected to support. It is always better to opt for a mount with a higher load capacity than you may require, as this will provide additional peace of mind and ensure the safety of the items being supported.

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Adjustability and Flexibility

Another important factor to consider when selecting a 30mm Cantilever Mount is adjustability and flexibility. Some mounts may be more versatile than others, offering the possibility to change the angle or orientation of the mount quickly and easily.
Additionally, consider any accessories that may be available for the mount, such as extensions or additional support components. These can be helpful in expanding the mount's capabilities and ensuring its suitability for a wider range of applications.

Installation and Maintenance

Before purchasing a 30mm Cantilever Mount, be sure to research the installation process to ensure it is a good fit for your skill level and experience. Some mounts may be more complex to install than others, and there may be additional requirements or considerations to take into account.
Regular maintenance is also important for ensuring the longevity and performance of your mount. Follow the manufacturer's recommendations for cleaning, lubricating, or replacing any components as necessary to keep your mount in prime condition.
Choosing the right 30mm Cantilever Mount involves considering various factors, such as the materials and construction, load capacity, adjustability, installation, and maintenance requirements. By taking these factors into account, you can find a mount that is suitable for your specific needs and applications, ensuring safety, durability, and flexibility in its use.
Finally, always remember to consult the manufacturer's guidelines and recommendations for installing, using, and maintaining your 30mm Cantilever Mount. This will help ensure you are using the equipment correctly and safely, and will help you get the most out of your investment.

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FAQ

What is a 30Mm Cantilever Mount?

A 30Mm Cantilever Mount is a type of mounting bracket used to support and hold industrial equipment and machinery, such as cameras, sensors, and other devices, on structures or surfaces. It is specifically designed to provide a robust and versatile mounting solution for heavy-duty applications where weight and stability are critical factors.

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What materials are commonly used for 30Mm Cantilever Mounts?

30Mm Cantilever Mounts are typically made from high-strength materials such as stainless steel, aluminum, or carbon fiber to ensure durability, strength, and resistance to environmental factors. These materials also provide a lightweight and corrosion-resistant solution for a wide range of industrial applications.

What are the different designs and configurations for 30Mm Cantilever Mounts?

There are various designs and configurations available for 30Mm Cantilever Mounts, depending on the specific needs and requirements of each application. Some common options include single-point, double-point, or triple-point cantilevers, fixed brackets, adjustable brackets, and specialty mounting systems compatible with specific equipment or surfaces.

How can I choose the right 30Mm Cantilever Mount for my application?

When selecting a 30Mm Cantilever Mount, consider factors such as the weight and size of the equipment, the surface material and structure providing support, the environmental conditions, and any additional mounting requirements. Consult with the manufacturer or a specialized expert to determine the most suitable design and configuration for your specific application.

What are the installation and maintenance requirements for a 30Mm Cantilever Mount?

Installation and maintenance requirements for a 30Mm Cantilever Mount will depend on the specific design and configuration. Generally, installation involves mounting the bracket to the desired structure or surface using appropriate hardware, including bolts, nuts, and washers. Maintenance may include periodic inspections to check for any signs of wear or damage, as well as cleaning the mount and the attached equipment.

How do 30Mm Cantilever Mounts help to improve industrial applications?

30Mm Cantilever Mounts offer several advantages for industrial applications, such as improved weight capacity, stability, and versatility. They can accommodate heavy-duty equipment and provide stable support in challenging environments. Additionally, their modular designs allow for customization and flexibility, enabling the mounting of various types of equipment or additional features.
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2024.05.29 06:10 Telemachusfar The Human Security Officer, Part 49

Idk about you guys but I've always loved how a shower felt after a bunch of work. Something special about it. Anyway thanks for reading! :)
They were both offered showers by town citizens happy to open their homes. Gareth found showers immensely awkward but didn’t need to worry as a few townsfolk drew him a bath. With some extra help from Deag, who had taken a short trip to the ship, he treated the water and was finally able to eat something. It was no traditional Weilan spa, but it was… close enough. If he was being entirely honest, he was just glad to finally be able to eat something. He may have fibbed to Pen when they talked about food. He wasn’t near starving quite yet and even though being carried had allowed him to conserve a lot of energy, it wouldn’t have helped much longer.
He looked down at his poor shell. Its color greatly diminished from the lack of food and immense stress of the whole ordeal. He could feel the buildup of toxins in his system before and it was wonderful to feel them washing out. He sighed and slumped down under the water. Again, he inspected his shell. Wilting and greying all over his eyes wandered to the crack made by Pen when she pulled him out of the way of the turret. Probably another two months to heal but it was coming along. She must have remembered it too when they were falling. She was gentler. It honestly surprised him that he managed to survive that fall without any major injury.
Gareth let his thoughts drift aimlessly as he soaked under the water. After a few minutes, though, he heard a thump from outside the tub. He rose up from the water and peeked over the lip of the tub. A small human child stared back from the washroom door. Small by human standards that is. He was shorter than Gareth but only by a few inches. If Ton’et’s human biology lessons were serving him well the boy wouldn’t remain much smaller than him for more than a year or so. He should be quickly entering a time of quick growth that humans experience periodically in their formative years.
“Mmmhmmmb” the boy mumbled, still hiding most of himself behind the door.
“What was that?” Gareth asked.
The boy shirked slightly but found his voice after a moment.
“You… You’re weird looking.”
Gareth chuckled.
“You’re the weird looking one.”
The boy's brow furrowed, easier to read than Pen by far. The child wore his emotions on his face.
“Nuh uh…”
“Yuh huh.” Gareth mimicked the child.
“No, you don’t look like anyone else here.”
“Well, I’m not from here, am I? I’m from a place where everyone looks like me and nobody looks like you.”
This seemed to puzzle the boy.
“How many people?”
Gareth tilted his head. An odd question.
“Lots? Trillions.”
“Is that more than here?”
It dawned on him the math the boy was doing.
“Definitely.”
“Darn…”
The boy lightly tapped the doorframe with his foot.
“You could go see them.” Gareth offered.
“Really?” A shine came to his eyes.
“Oh definitely, there's a ton to see. More places out there than trees in that forest outside.”
The boy didn’t understand trillions but that comparison made sense to him.
“Waoooaahhh,” a frown came to his face quickly, “but I like it here though. I have friends here.”
“So when you miss them, just come on back. No reason you cant enjoy both right?”
Gareth's words were a joyous revelation to the boy.
“I’d love that I think…”
“I think you would to.” Gareth chuckled.
“You may be weird but you're pretty cool. My names Cameron by the way.”
“Pleasure to meet you Cameron, I’m Gareth. I think you’re weird and cool too.”
Cameron giggled and sprinted away, stopped, turned around, closed the door gently, then turned back around and sprinted away again. Gareth sunk back down into the tub smiling.
Pen stepped under the shower head with her face turned up. Steaming hot water hit her face and ran down taking all the stress and sweat with it.
A proper shower was exactly what Pen needed. She was no stranger to dirt and sweat and when needs must, she had no issue. That said, filthy was by no means a preferred state and after two days hard march, sleeping in the dirt, and only washing off in a river, a proper shower felt divine. It almost reminded her of washing off after a particularly arduous drop. There was something especially satisfying about it.
Soap, warm water, and more time to enjoy it than she’d ever have been given on the Basho. After getting clean she turned the heat up as high as it could go and propped herself against the wall of the shower letting the water run over her shoulders and back. The heat melted through the tension and washed it down the drain.
Ahhhhhh. Perfect.
Something tickled her neck and she brought her right hand up to it. She pulled a long strand of hair away. It struck her as odd and brought her attention to her hair. It had gotten longer. The strand in her hand was almost alien due to how long it had been since she’d allowed it to grow out beyond a few inches.
She brought both her hands up now, raking them through the newfound length. She’d start having to wear it up if she didn’t want to cut it.
She kind of didn’t. Why should she?
After a nice long while in the hot shower she turned the water off and stepped out. The bathroom was heavy with steam, but she saw that towels and clothes had been set by the sink for her. She dried herself and examined the clothing. It was a simple handwoven dress, loose cut and floor length. The dress was dyed olive green and parchment white with a humble little leaf-like pattern embroidered around the wrists and neckline.
It certainly wasn’t her normal fare, but it was clearly a kind gesture and matched the clothing most wore around town. With how little worn and well taken care of it looked Pen could guess that it meant a lot to the person who donated it.
Pen donned it and looked to the mirror only to find it utterly fogged up.
A light knock came from the other side of the door.
“Are you alright miss?” a woman’s voice asked.
“Yea…” Pen faltered.
“Oh does the dress not fit? Or would you prefer something else?”
“No, no, it fits fine,” it did reach the floor though perhaps not as much as it was intended to, “How about you tell me how I look.”
Pen opened the door. Steam rolled out as she moved into the room with the young woman. She was a stranger to Pen but looked like the older lady whose house this was. Pen guessed a daughter.
“Oh my, I think you look quite nice! Olive is definitely one of your colors. Here!” The girl fumbled somewhat but showed Pen to a tall mirror in the far corner of the room.
It was… certainly a look. Not one she was used to but that was expected. The dress fit fine and it did look nice. Pen couldn’t help but notice, though, that it sat oddly on her. Not tight or revealing by any means, just… a gentler looking piece of clothing on a less than gently built frame. It wasn’t exactly made to be worn by a muscled body.
“Oh erm here miss,” the young woman handed her a hair tie but pulled back, “or if you want I could help you put it up? Its at that weird point where its not long enough to… you know but too long to uh it can be difficult. If you want I can…”
“I… appreciate it but I’ll be fine. I think I'll leave it down for now.”
“Right. Well, here. Just in case you want to.”
She again handed the hair tie but this time let Pen take it. Pen stowed it around her wrist.
“Is Gareth?”
“Oh yes your friend is across the street at the Patterson's. I can bring you over if you like.”
“Lead the way.”
“Of course.”
The girl led her out of the house and across the street. Pen saw a couple putting up woven cloth streamers across the road. They anchored them in trees with some parallel and others crossing.
As the girl stepped up the front porch of the, apparently, Patterson's house she waved to an older gentleman in a rocking chair.
“Evening Mr. Patterson. This is Penelope, she was just calling on her friend.”
“Evening dear. Evening miss. Yer friend hasn’t come out yet but you can head on up. To the left at the top, far end door.”
“Thanks.”
His hand came up to keep her just a moment.
“Thank you miss.” He said accentuating the ‘you’.
He looked at her like they all did. She knew what he meant and as awkwardly as it always was she smiled and nodded before she pushed past him. At least he had the good sense not to salute.
As she climbed the stairs just inside the door to the house she heard the man ask a question of the girl.
“Dear, could you ask your mother about a few fertilizer spikes? The peach is looking like it needs some help.”
Pen continued too far to make out her reply but could guess by its warm tone that it was a yes. She turned at the top of the stairs and walked to the end of the hall. Knocking on the door she called out to Gareth.
“You still soaking?”
“Just suiting up. I’ll be out in a min.”
A ‘min’ huh? Pen thought.
Previous
First
submitted by Telemachusfar to HFY [link] [comments]


2024.05.29 05:39 NeoHyper64 Arcade1Up won't build it, so I did... Soul Calibur XL is here!

Arcade1Up won't build it, so I did... Soul Calibur XL is here!
Some of you may have seen me drop hints here and there (or a full preview on the Super Gameroom Dudes), but 4 months later, I've finally finished my biggest Arcade1Up mod project to-date:
Arcade1Up NBA Jam Shaq XL is now... Soul Calibur XL!
There's a lot that went into this cab, and I basically built the entire thing 2 or 3 times over because of all the trial-and-error as I used new tools, tried new materials, got measurements wrong, etc. It was FAR more complicated than my prior NeoGeo build, but the results are better, too. Here is where I ended up with what went into this beast.
Cabinet ($600):
  • This started life as a standard Arcade1Up NBA Jam Shaq XL cabinet. I didn't want that game, only the shell. So, I only assembled the frame of it.
Control Panel:
  • The 4-player deck was replaced with a fully custom 2-player deck of my own design. I started with a sloped, Midway-style design, but the angle wasn't comfortable for my height (I'm 6'2"), so I settled on a raised, flat design that felt much better. The whole thing is made of melamine-coated half-inch plywood, so it's super strong.
  • The entire deck slides over the factory frame, and re-uses a modified version of the Shaq XL sub-frame to provide full support from below. I also re-used the factory "shelf" with some adjustments (used spacers to make it higher, and moved the mounting poins out to the sides to allow more room for controls and wiring).
  • There's a piano hinge on the back that allows the deck to open so the joystick and button wiring can be accessed. There's also a wireless keyboard in case the PC needs to be controlled.
  • The top features an acrylic panel that was a bugger to measure and cut, but I finally got a version that's about 1/16-1/32" accurate in every dimension. It also attaches to the deck with 4 bolts, just like the Arcade1Up versions (though it's not strictly necessary, because unlike A1U plexi, I put the panel under the button surrounds like real arcades would do).
Art ($300):
  • I contacted several graphics vendors, but some never responded, and others didn't have any Shaq templates and didn't seem to want to get involved. But I'd used Escape Pod in the past with good results, and they had a Shaq template. They also had a Soul Calibur design they had used for a full-size cab. So, we collaborated, and they produced the custom art package that made this happen, including marquee with plexi, side panels, kick panel, and the entire control panel. They're great!
Monitor ($100), Mount + Bezel ($108):
  • Dell 20" 2007fpb 4:3 monitor came from eBay. It only has a DVI input for digital. Everything was de-cased, and the controls were screwed into the back. It's a great looking monitor!
  • Of course, Shaq comes with a crap 19" monitor, so the Dell is a definite upgrade, but not a 1:1 fit. So, I contacted Gus from Karv Design on Etsy, who had done work on my NeoGeo build, and he came through. He had never done a Shaq cab before, but I gave him the exact dimensions and he custom-built a monitor mount, and black acrylic bezel. I messed a few things, but his stuff was spot on! Can't recommend him highly enough!
Audio ($166):
  • Dayton Audio KAB-2150 2x150w Class D Amp ($30) and power supply ($35)
  • Visaton 3.3" speakers ($30) and grills ($11)
  • Powered subwoofer ($90)... this makes such a difference it's not even funny
  • I wanted a "stock" look with the audio and not get into making a custom panel, so I stuck with the same size speakers, but much better quality and power handling. The amplifier is admittedly overpowered for this project, but it had two, important features that were surprsingly hard to find: external controls AND a dedicated subwoofer output. This had both!
Controls ($86):
  • Industrias Lorenzo Eurostick (x2) ($34 total)
  • Happ Competition Pushbuttons (x16) ($34 total)
  • Easyget (Dragonrise) Zero Delay Encoders ($18)
  • I went through probably dozens of combinations of buttons and switches and ended up with something that has a shorter through and minimal click. I wanted a fast response. For the joysticks, I never considered anything other than ILs.
Games ($162):
  • I started with a Raspberry Pi 5, which WAS capable of running Soul Calibur I and II, but it was finnicky. The controllers would randomly disconnect, AND it has a stupid design that lacks an audio out, so I had to pickup an HDMI audio/video splitter that ended up not outputting the video signal accurately and decreased the audio out level significantly. It also added several extra wires. The Pi setup was a total PITA that cost me nearly $200 with everything it needed (board, case, cables, splitter, power supply, etc.).
  • SO... when DIY Retro Arcade started offering the pre-built Core i5 computer with "no junk" Batocera 38 build ($162), I jumped. And boy, was it worth it! The i5 is so much more capable, not to mention STABLE, and getting rid of the HDMI splitter reduced cable clutter AND improved the audio quality significantly! The Batocera build is really good, too! No junk, and lots of good stuff (yes, every Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, KI, NeoGeo, and other fighting game). This really makes the system.
Special ($152):
  • Faux Coin Door from Arcade1Up ($20)
  • Coin Door Lights from RETRO 530 ($21)
  • Isobar Surge Protector w/ Switch ($105)
  • Control Panel Hinge ($22)
  • LED Strip Light ($6)
Other Materials ($418+):
  • PVC Edge Banding ($20)
  • Melamine Edge Banding ($20)
  • Hand Roller ($9)
  • Side Edge Trimmer ($33)
  • Flush Cut Trimmers ($18)
  • Super 77 Adhesive ($12)
  • Planar Knives ($16)
  • Weatherstripping ($7)
  • L-Brackets ($12)
  • DP to DVI Cable ($12)
  • 12v Power Supply ($9)
  • Various bits, blades, screws, and tools (picked up here and there)... oh, and WOOD! Experimented with lots of MDF, melamine, and acryclic ($250+).
  • And many, many things I ended up not using (t-molding, Pi 5, arcade-spec power supply, lots of buttons, etc.)
Tools (N/A):
  • Some of these tools I had on hand, some I inherited, some I bought. But I used a lot of different stuff... table saw, radial-arm saw, jigsaw, circular saw, drill press, heat gun, iron, hand roller, T-squares, speed square, hand drill, power sander, drill driver, various clamps, X-acto knives, squeegee, various screwdrivers, hammer, tape measures, shop-vac, etc.
TOTAL COST: $2,092 (excluding most tools and everything I bought that didn't get used, or that was thrown out, etc.)

Would it have to cost this much? No. I'm not a woodworker or craftsperson, but I am a perfectionist. So, the two things combined meant everything took longer and cost more than it probably should. But I also don't think you could legitimately do this build for anything less than a grand, unless you happen to have everything you need sitting around (including a PC and monitor) and can get cheap art, etc. All told, it probably cost me at least $2,500 if I include things that didn't make it into the final product.
So, wouldn't it be better to just buy the real thing? That isn't the point. This is "built not bought" kind of thing. I wanted to see what I could do. And I wanted to prove what an XL could be... I think this did both. And I've owned a real arcade machine... tt was heavy, huge, and finnicky. Not again. And either way, good luck finding an original Soul Calibur machine. They weren't made in large numbers.
Why not just build your own? I could, but that also wasn't the point. Building from scratch is a whole other endeavor, whereas using an Arcade1Up means it "inherently" has Arcade1Up-style dimensions and will fit in with my other cabinets. I also just wanted to do something in the XL size.
Why Soul Calibur? It's a legit awesome game. It has a Metacritic score of 98, making it one of the highest scoring games of all time across all platforms and consoles. And it's easy for anyone to start playing. I have lots of fond memories playing on the Dreamcast, but with its very limited arcade exposure, there's less-than-zero chance Arcade1Up will ever make the game.
Why use the Dreamcast version instead of the arcade game? Surprisingly, Soul Calibur originally ran on Namco System 12 hardware, which was an upgrade of the Namco System 11 hardware that itself was based loosely on the original Playstation 1 hardware design. That meant the arcade version of Soul Calibur was actually worse than the Dreamcast version of the game that followed a year later. The Dreamcast version added better visuals and 3D backgrounds, along with a whole bunch of extra features. This was reported to be the first time a console game performed better than the arcade version upon which it was based.
Would you do it again? No, and also no. I proved it was possible and built the game I wanted in the way I wanted. And it plays great and looks cool. But it cost too much time and money. I learned a lot, and that was invaluable, so I recommend it on that level. Practically speaking, however, there's really no justification to do something like this again unless the market just completely fails to produce the products we want.
Anyway, thanks to anyone who made it this far. I have a lot more pics and some video, and am happy to answer any questions. I also want to thank all of the vendors who helped make this happen, as well as the kind words from PDubs and other supporters along the way.
So, now it's your turn, Arcade1Up... bring us the XLs!

From Shaq to the Legend That Will Never Die!

Yes, that's actually a light under the control deck illumuninating downward.

The edge banding on the control panel mirrors the factory A1U edge banding.

Yes, the entire control panel lifts up to access the controls!

The top panel has audio controls, lighting control, and a master power switch.

Behind the marquee is a powerful amp, upgraded speakers, and full tone controls.

Yep, those are Happ ILs (and that's a piano hinge across the back).

The full back section, complete with acoustic stuffing up top and a subwoofer down below. That's a custom shelf for the PC, too.

A look inside showing inside the control panel from the back.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk!
submitted by NeoHyper64 to Arcade1Up [link] [comments]


2024.05.29 05:27 The-Botanist-64 Help with baby lock allegro

So I splurged on a baby lock allegro exactly two months ago. I’ve used a 1978 singer for 15+ years with a walking foot I used for borders and it was time for something that could do FMQ and some bigger quilts and a walking foot that was more reliable.
I’ve had SO MANY PROBLEMS and I can’t figure out which are user error and which are machine problems and my dealer is an hour away. It’s already been back in once (feed dogs were stuck down, some weird manufacturing grease prob), and while he was fixing THAT he ended up having to replace the bobbin casing because it was making giant loops on the bottom of the fabric.
I feel like I have a 50/50 chance of mis-threading it and creating a mess, it chews up fabric corners like on triangles for HST likes it’s starving. The stitches bounce all over and the tension looks off when I’m sewing something big or heavy, like backing to a baby quilt (haven’t even tried a queen or god forbid, a king yet!) and while my little 12”x24” sample swatch of fmq went ok, when I stuck said baby quilt under it, I felt like I was fighting an orangutan! Looked awful, skipped and bounced and twisted all over while I was struggling to force the thing through! Yes, I said force with a gigantic throat for space, it was that challenging. Although, shockingly, I had no eyelashes from tension problems. And then I discovered that the knee lift is no longer clicking in or lifting, so I guess I’ll be making my sixth hour-long trip in two months to have THAT fixed.
I could use some encouragement. Is it just me? Am I still adjusting to a new machine? Is it supposed to be this hard? Is FMQ way more challenging than I thought? Do I have to have a drop-in table set up for this special snowflake so nothing deigns to pull on it?? Should I just smash the machine with a hammer??? HELP
submitted by The-Botanist-64 to quilting [link] [comments]


2024.05.29 05:26 Substantial_Talk_786 25M Looking for a Genuine Longterm Friendship

Greetings,
I'm a 25-year-old medico hailing from the colorful tapestry of India, standing tall at 5'11" with a heart as big as the cosmos itself. If you're scouring Reddit for a friendship that transcends space and time, then look no further, because you've stumbled upon the right post!
Now, I know what you're thinking, "Why is this med student turned aspiring pediatrician looking for friends on Reddit?" Well, my friend, let me tell you that the internet is a magical place where friendships can blossom in the most unexpected of ways. And hey, who wouldn't want to be friends with a guy who can converse in English, Hindi, Urdu, and even Klingon? (Okay, maybe I'm still a bit rusty on the Klingon part, but practice makes perfect!)
So, what's in it for you, you ask? Besides a quirky sense of humor and a knack for diving deep into the rabbit hole of fandoms, I bring to the table a plethora of interests that range from dissecting the complexities of the human body to unraveling the mysteries of the cosmos. Whether it's discussing the latest comic book releases or debating the implications of quantum physics, I'm your go-to guy for all things nerdy and beyond.
But wait, there's more! When I'm not buried under a mountain of textbooks or binge-watching the latest sci-fi series, you can find me lost in the pages of a good novel or battling it out in the virtual realm of video games. And hey, if you're up for it, we can even study together and conquer the academic challenges that lie ahead!
Now, let's talk about friendship. They say that friends are the family we choose for ourselves, and I couldn't agree more. Whether you're across the globe or just a few clicks away, let's embark on this journey of friendship together and create memories that will last a lifetime.
As promised, here are a few friendship quotes and lyrics to set the mood:
  1. "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" - C.S. Lewis
  2. "I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour." - The Rembrandts
  3. "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." - Walter Winchell
  4. "You've got a friend in me." - Randy Newman
So, if you're a fellow explorer of multi-verses, a lover of all things nerdy, and someone who believes that true friendship knows no boundaries, then what are you waiting for? Drop me a message, and let's embark on this adventure together.
Who knows, maybe we'll discover our own version of the Avengers or the Justice League within our circle of friends. And hey, even if we don't, at least we'll have each other's backs through the ups and downs of life.
Can't wait to connect with you.
submitted by Substantial_Talk_786 to Needafriend [link] [comments]


2024.05.29 05:26 Substantial_Talk_786 [25/M] Looking for A Genuine Longterm Friendship

Greetings,
I'm a 25-year-old medico hailing from the colorful tapestry of India, standing tall at 5'11" with a heart as big as the cosmos itself. If you're scouring Reddit for a friendship that transcends space and time, then look no further, because you've stumbled upon the right post!
Now, I know what you're thinking, "Why is this med student turned aspiring pediatrician looking for friends on Reddit?" Well, my friend, let me tell you that the internet is a magical place where friendships can blossom in the most unexpected of ways. And hey, who wouldn't want to be friends with a guy who can converse in English, Hindi, Urdu, and even Klingon? (Okay, maybe I'm still a bit rusty on the Klingon part, but practice makes perfect!)
So, what's in it for you, you ask? Besides a quirky sense of humor and a knack for diving deep into the rabbit hole of fandoms, I bring to the table a plethora of interests that range from dissecting the complexities of the human body to unraveling the mysteries of the cosmos. Whether it's discussing the latest comic book releases or debating the implications of quantum physics, I'm your go-to guy for all things nerdy and beyond.
But wait, there's more! When I'm not buried under a mountain of textbooks or binge-watching the latest sci-fi series, you can find me lost in the pages of a good novel or battling it out in the virtual realm of video games. And hey, if you're up for it, we can even study together and conquer the academic challenges that lie ahead!
Now, let's talk about friendship. They say that friends are the family we choose for ourselves, and I couldn't agree more. Whether you're across the globe or just a few clicks away, let's embark on this journey of friendship together and create memories that will last a lifetime.
As promised, here are a few friendship quotes and lyrics to set the mood:
  1. "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" - C.S. Lewis
  2. "I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour." - The Rembrandts
  3. "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." - Walter Winchell
  4. "You've got a friend in me." - Randy Newman
So, if you're a fellow explorer of multi-verses, a lover of all things nerdy, and someone who believes that true friendship knows no boundaries, then what are you waiting for? Drop me a message, and let's embark on this adventure together.
Who knows, maybe we'll discover our own version of the Avengers or the Justice League within our circle of friends. And hey, even if we don't, at least we'll have each other's backs through the ups and downs of life.
Can't wait to connect with you.
submitted by Substantial_Talk_786 to MeetNewPeopleHere [link] [comments]


2024.05.29 05:26 Substantial_Talk_786 25M Looking for a Genuine Longterm Friendship

Greetings,
I'm a 25-year-old medico hailing from the colorful tapestry of India, standing tall at 5'11" with a heart as big as the cosmos itself. If you're scouring Reddit for a friendship that transcends space and time, then look no further, because you've stumbled upon the right post!
Now, I know what you're thinking, "Why is this med student turned aspiring pediatrician looking for friends on Reddit?" Well, my friend, let me tell you that the internet is a magical place where friendships can blossom in the most unexpected of ways. And hey, who wouldn't want to be friends with a guy who can converse in English, Hindi, Urdu, and even Klingon? (Okay, maybe I'm still a bit rusty on the Klingon part, but practice makes perfect!)
So, what's in it for you, you ask? Besides a quirky sense of humor and a knack for diving deep into the rabbit hole of fandoms, I bring to the table a plethora of interests that range from dissecting the complexities of the human body to unraveling the mysteries of the cosmos. Whether it's discussing the latest comic book releases or debating the implications of quantum physics, I'm your go-to guy for all things nerdy and beyond.
But wait, there's more! When I'm not buried under a mountain of textbooks or binge-watching the latest sci-fi series, you can find me lost in the pages of a good novel or battling it out in the virtual realm of video games. And hey, if you're up for it, we can even study together and conquer the academic challenges that lie ahead!
Now, let's talk about friendship. They say that friends are the family we choose for ourselves, and I couldn't agree more. Whether you're across the globe or just a few clicks away, let's embark on this journey of friendship together and create memories that will last a lifetime.
As promised, here are a few friendship quotes and lyrics to set the mood:
  1. "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" - C.S. Lewis
  2. "I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour." - The Rembrandts
  3. "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." - Walter Winchell
  4. "You've got a friend in me." - Randy Newman
So, if you're a fellow explorer of multi-verses, a lover of all things nerdy, and someone who believes that true friendship knows no boundaries, then what are you waiting for? Drop me a message, and let's embark on this adventure together.
Who knows, maybe we'll discover our own version of the Avengers or the Justice League within our circle of friends. And hey, even if we don't, at least we'll have each other's backs through the ups and downs of life.
Can't wait to connect with you.
submitted by Substantial_Talk_786 to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]


2024.05.29 05:25 Substantial_Talk_786 25M Looking for a Genuine Longterm Friendship

Greetings,
I'm a 25-year-old medico hailing from the colorful tapestry of India, standing tall at 5'11" with a heart as big as the cosmos itself. If you're scouring Reddit for a friendship that transcends space and time, then look no further, because you've stumbled upon the right post!
Now, I know what you're thinking, "Why is this med student turned aspiring pediatrician looking for friends on Reddit?" Well, my friend, let me tell you that the internet is a magical place where friendships can blossom in the most unexpected of ways. And hey, who wouldn't want to be friends with a guy who can converse in English, Hindi, Urdu, and even Klingon? (Okay, maybe I'm still a bit rusty on the Klingon part, but practice makes perfect!)
So, what's in it for you, you ask? Besides a quirky sense of humor and a knack for diving deep into the rabbit hole of fandoms, I bring to the table a plethora of interests that range from dissecting the complexities of the human body to unraveling the mysteries of the cosmos. Whether it's discussing the latest comic book releases or debating the implications of quantum physics, I'm your go-to guy for all things nerdy and beyond.
But wait, there's more! When I'm not buried under a mountain of textbooks or binge-watching the latest sci-fi series, you can find me lost in the pages of a good novel or battling it out in the virtual realm of video games. And hey, if you're up for it, we can even study together and conquer the academic challenges that lie ahead!
Now, let's talk about friendship. They say that friends are the family we choose for ourselves, and I couldn't agree more. Whether you're across the globe or just a few clicks away, let's embark on this journey of friendship together and create memories that will last a lifetime.
As promised, here are a few friendship quotes and lyrics to set the mood:
  1. "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" - C.S. Lewis
  2. "I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour." - The Rembrandts
  3. "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." - Walter Winchell
  4. "You've got a friend in me." - Randy Newman
So, if you're a fellow explorer of multi-verses, a lover of all things nerdy, and someone who believes that true friendship knows no boundaries, then what are you waiting for? Drop me a message, and let's embark on this adventure together.
Who knows, maybe we'll discover our own version of the Avengers or the Justice League within our circle of friends. And hey, even if we don't, at least we'll have each other's backs through the ups and downs of life.
Can't wait to connect with you.
submitted by Substantial_Talk_786 to InternetFriends [link] [comments]


2024.05.29 05:25 Substantial_Talk_786 25M Looking for a Genuine Longterm Friendship

Greetings,
I'm a 25-year-old medico hailing from the colorful tapestry of India, standing tall at 5'11" with a heart as big as the cosmos itself. If you're scouring Reddit for a friendship that transcends space and time, then look no further, because you've stumbled upon the right post!
Now, I know what you're thinking, "Why is this med student turned aspiring pediatrician looking for friends on Reddit?" Well, my friend, let me tell you that the internet is a magical place where friendships can blossom in the most unexpected of ways. And hey, who wouldn't want to be friends with a guy who can converse in English, Hindi, Urdu, and even Klingon? (Okay, maybe I'm still a bit rusty on the Klingon part, but practice makes perfect!)
So, what's in it for you, you ask? Besides a quirky sense of humor and a knack for diving deep into the rabbit hole of fandoms, I bring to the table a plethora of interests that range from dissecting the complexities of the human body to unraveling the mysteries of the cosmos. Whether it's discussing the latest comic book releases or debating the implications of quantum physics, I'm your go-to guy for all things nerdy and beyond.
But wait, there's more! When I'm not buried under a mountain of textbooks or binge-watching the latest sci-fi series, you can find me lost in the pages of a good novel or battling it out in the virtual realm of video games. And hey, if you're up for it, we can even study together and conquer the academic challenges that lie ahead!
Now, let's talk about friendship. They say that friends are the family we choose for ourselves, and I couldn't agree more. Whether you're across the globe or just a few clicks away, let's embark on this journey of friendship together and create memories that will last a lifetime.
As promised, here are a few friendship quotes and lyrics to set the mood:
  1. "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" - C.S. Lewis
  2. "I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour." - The Rembrandts
  3. "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." - Walter Winchell
  4. "You've got a friend in me." - Randy Newman
So, if you're a fellow explorer of multi-verses, a lover of all things nerdy, and someone who believes that true friendship knows no boundaries, then what are you waiting for? Drop me a message, and let's embark on this adventure together.
Who knows, maybe we'll discover our own version of the Avengers or the Justice League within our circle of friends. And hey, even if we don't, at least we'll have each other's backs through the ups and downs of life.
Can't wait to connect with you.
submitted by Substantial_Talk_786 to friendship [link] [comments]


2024.05.29 05:25 Substantial_Talk_786 25M Looking for a Genuine Longterm Friendship

Greetings,
I'm a 25-year-old medico hailing from the colorful tapestry of India, standing tall at 5'11" with a heart as big as the cosmos itself. If you're scouring Reddit for a friendship that transcends space and time, then look no further, because you've stumbled upon the right post!
Now, I know what you're thinking, "Why is this med student turned aspiring pediatrician looking for friends on Reddit?" Well, my friend, let me tell you that the internet is a magical place where friendships can blossom in the most unexpected of ways. And hey, who wouldn't want to be friends with a guy who can converse in English, Hindi, Urdu, and even Klingon? (Okay, maybe I'm still a bit rusty on the Klingon part, but practice makes perfect!)
So, what's in it for you, you ask? Besides a quirky sense of humor and a knack for diving deep into the rabbit hole of fandoms, I bring to the table a plethora of interests that range from dissecting the complexities of the human body to unraveling the mysteries of the cosmos. Whether it's discussing the latest comic book releases or debating the implications of quantum physics, I'm your go-to guy for all things nerdy and beyond.
But wait, there's more! When I'm not buried under a mountain of textbooks or binge-watching the latest sci-fi series, you can find me lost in the pages of a good novel or battling it out in the virtual realm of video games. And hey, if you're up for it, we can even study together and conquer the academic challenges that lie ahead!
Now, let's talk about friendship. They say that friends are the family we choose for ourselves, and I couldn't agree more. Whether you're across the globe or just a few clicks away, let's embark on this journey of friendship together and create memories that will last a lifetime.
As promised, here are a few friendship quotes and lyrics to set the mood:
  1. "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" - C.S. Lewis
  2. "I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour." - The Rembrandts
  3. "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." - Walter Winchell
  4. "You've got a friend in me." - Randy Newman
So, if you're a fellow explorer of multi-verses, a lover of all things nerdy, and someone who believes that true friendship knows no boundaries, then what are you waiting for? Drop me a message, and let's embark on this adventure together.
Who knows, maybe we'll discover our own version of the Avengers or the Justice League within our circle of friends. And hey, even if we don't, at least we'll have each other's backs through the ups and downs of life.
Can't wait to connect with you.
submitted by Substantial_Talk_786 to chat [link] [comments]


2024.05.29 05:24 Free_Advantage_8595 Vision language model quantization and performance with LMDeploy

Vision language model quantization and performance with LMDeploy
Starting from version v0.4.2, LMDeploy supports 4-bit quantization and deployment of VL models, including:
  • llava
  • internvl
  • internlm-xcomposer2
  • qwen-vl
  • deepseek-vl
  • minigemini
  • yi-vl
These models use the llama structure as the language module except internlm-xcomposer2, while each has a different visual module. LMDeploy uses the AWQ algorithm to quantize the language module and accelerates it with the TurboMind engine, while the visual part still uses the original transformers to encode images. The language module of the internlm-xcomposer2 model has been fine-tuned with Plora on the original llama model. When quantizing, LMDeploy skips the weights of the Plora part, and Plora remains w16a16 calculation during inference. We selected 3 models and compared their accuracy before and after quantization on the MMBench dataset. As shown in the table below, the accuracy of LLaVA and InternVL-Chat is almost unaffected by quantization. InternLM-XComposer2 has a slight loss.
model llava-v1.6-vicuna-7b InternVL-Chat-V1-5 xcomposer2-vl-7b
Average score 55.8 78.8 77.3
Average score (AWQ) 55.3 79.2 74.7
In addition to supporting w4a16 computation, LMDeploy also supports online quantization of the key-value cache. We conducted accuracy tests on different quantization methods of the Mini-InternVL-Chat-2B-V1-5 model using the MMBench dataset.
model w16a16 w4a16 w4a16 kv8 w4a16 kv4
Average score 64.1 62.9 63.1 61.6
It can be observed that even with the most aggressive w4a16 kv4 quantization scheme, the drop in accuracy is still within an acceptable range. Of course, users can choose the necessary quantization configuration based on their actual situation to achieve a balance between GPU memory, throughput, and accuracy. Next, we will use the Mini-InternVL-Chat-2B-V1-5 model as an example to introduce how to deploy VL models smoothly with LMDeploy.

Set env

Install lmdeploy with pip (python 3.8+) or from source.
conda create -n lmdeploy python==3.10 pip install lmdeploy 
The default prebuilt package is compiled on CUDA 12. However, if CUDA 11+ is required, you can install lmdeploy by:
export LMDEPLOY_VERSION=0.4.2 export PYTHON_VERSION=310 pip install https://github.com/InternLM/lmdeploy/releases/download/v${LMDEPLOY_VERSION}/lmdeploy-${LMDEPLOY_VERSION}+cu118-cp${PYTHON_VERSION}-cp${PYTHON_VERSION}-manylinux2014_x86_64.whl --extra-index-url https://download.pytorch.org/whl/cu118 

Quantization

LMDeploy adopts AWQ algorithm for 4bit weight-only quantization. By developed the high-performance cuda kernel, the 4bit quantized model inference achieves up to 2.4x faster than FP16. LMDeploy supports the following NVIDIA GPU for W4A16 inference:
  • Turing(sm75): 20 series, T4
  • Ampere(sm80,sm86): 30 series, A10, A16, A30, A100
  • Ada Lovelace(sm90): 40 series
Users can quantize a VL model with a single command, taking Mini-InternVL-Chat-2B-V1-5 as an example.
export HF_MODEL=OpenGVLab/Mini-InternVL-Chat-2B-V1-5 export WORK_DIR=Mini-InternVL-Chat-2B-V1-5-4bit lmdeploy lite auto_awq \ $HF_MODEL \ --calib-dataset 'ptb' \ --calib-samples 128 \ --calib-seqlen 2048 \ --w-bits 4 \ --w-group-size 128 \ --batch-size 1 \ --search-scale False \ --work-dir $WORK_DIR 
Please note that LMDeploy’s quantization process involves quantizing the Llama model layer by layer, with each layer being loaded from the CPU to the GPU before quantization and then unloaded back to the CPU after quantization. This approach reduces the GPU memory pressure during the quantization process. Additionally, each layer is quantized in batches of --batch-size, which further decreases GPU memory usage. However, this also means that the quantization process will take longer. If the GPU memory is sufficient, you can set a larger --batch-size to speed up the process. Finally, if the accuracy of the quantized model does not meet expectations, you can enable --search-scale for further refinement. If this option is not enabled, the quantization process will default to a smooth quantization approach.

Pipeline

LMDeploy abstracts the complex inference process of Visual-Language Models (VLMs) into a simple and user-friendly pipeline. Its usage is similar to the inference pipeline of Large Language Models (LLMs).
from lmdeploy import pipeline from lmdeploy.messages import TurbomindEngineConfig from lmdeploy.vl import load_image model = 'Mini-InternVL-Chat-2B-V1-5-4bit' image = load_image('https://raw.githubusercontent.com/open-mmlab/mmdeploy/main/tests/data/tiger.jpeg') backend_config = TurbomindEngineConfig(model_format='awq') pipe = pipeline(model, backend_config=backend_config, log_level='INFO') response = pipe(('describe this image', image)) print(response) 
In the example above, using our quantized Mini-InternVL-Chat-2B-V1-5-4bit model, you can see that the model successfully recognized the tiger in the image and provided a description. For users with multi-GPU machines who wish to make more efficient use of their hardware resources, they can refer to the following example to utilize tensor parallelism.
from lmdeploy import pipeline from lmdeploy.messages import TurbomindEngineConfig from lmdeploy.vl import load_image model = 'Mini-InternVL-Chat-2B-V1-5-4bit' image = load_image('https://raw.githubusercontent.com/open-mmlab/mmdeploy/main/tests/data/tiger.jpeg') backend_config = TurbomindEngineConfig(model_format='awq', tp=2) pipe = pipeline(model, backend_config=backend_config, log_level='INFO') response = pipe(('describe this image', image)) print(response) 
Both the language model and the visual model will be evenly distributed across the two GPUs for inference. For more usage examples of the pipeline, you can refer to the LMDeploy documentation.

Serving

Use the LMDeploy CLI tool to start the VL model service with a single command:
lmdeploy serve api_server Mini-InternVL-Chat-2B-V1-5-4bit --max-batch-size 256 --vision-max-batch-size 16 
Here, --max-batch-size represents the maximum concurrency for the LLM part on the server side, while --vision-max-batch-size is the maximum concurrency for the vision part on the server side. This means that if each client request includes an image, the actual maximum concurrency on the server side will be determined by --vision-max-batch-size. For more tips on deploying services, you can refer to the service documentation provided by LMDeploy.

Benchmark

The following figure illustrates the actual token generation rate per second for a deployed Mini-InternVL-Chat-2B-V1-5 quantized model on an A100-SMX4-80G graphics card. Each request in the graph includes an image with a resolution of 512*512.
https://preview.redd.it/xrdrrnvw9a3d1.png?width=1852&format=png&auto=webp&s=9965e08c1bc2dad5534f1ce4e5f0ceccf39c1860
The graph above shows that after a concurrency level of 16, the throughput (out tokens/s) of the model increases at a slower rate. Additionally, as the concurrency continues to rise, the latency for the first token increases sharply. This is because the batch size for the vision model inference is set to 16 when the service starts. When the number of concurrent requests exceeds this number, subsequent requests have to wait for the earlier requests to be processed before they can be handled. Therefore, users need to allocate appropriate values for the --max-batch-size and --vision-max-batch-size parameters based on their actual usage scenarios. Moreover, we used the same method to test the throughput of the model before and after quantization. The comparison results are illustrated in the following graph:
https://preview.redd.it/j8v13t3u9a3d1.png?width=2143&format=png&auto=webp&s=3f840cf2515ab471f813a7cc7a8f72997e0bc4b1
The line graph above shows that the quantized model has a higher throughput. Considering the data presented, users might want to consider quantizing their models using the quantization tool before deployment, as this will result in better inference performance for the service.
submitted by Free_Advantage_8595 to LocalLLaMA [link] [comments]


2024.05.29 05:14 BingJia Free diys giveaway

I have a list of extra diys to donate. Let me know what you want and I can deliver it to you. Apple hat Bamboo basket, Bamboo flooring, Bamboo speaker, Bamboo partition, Birdbath Cabin wall, Carp on a cutting board, Cherry rug, Classic library wall, Coconut Wall planter, Cosmos shower Dark bamboo bath mat, Decayed tree, Diy workbench Fruit wreath Garden rock, Gold armor shoes, Gold bars, Gold rose wreath, Golden altar, Golden garden bunny, Golden wall, Grass skirt Ironwood clock, Ironwood chair, Ironwood dresser Kettle bathtub, Knitted grass backpack Large cardboard boxes, Leaf umbrella, Log dining table, Lovely cosmos crown Manga library wall, Medium wooden partition, Modeling clay, Mum cushion, Mushroom wand Orange hat, Orange umbrella Palm tree lamp, Peach chair, Peach rug, Pear hat, Pile of cash, Stacked magazines, Stone Wall Terrarium, Tiny library, Traditional straw coat, Trees bounty arch, Trees bounty big tree Water pump, Western style stone, Wooden bookshelf, Wooden end table, Wooden full length mirror, Wooden table mirror, Wooden toolbox
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submitted by BingJia to Dodocodes [link] [comments]


2024.05.29 04:55 vren55 [A Fractured Song] - Chapter 218- Fantasy, Isekai (Portal Fantasy), Adventure

Cover Art!
Just because you’re transported to another world, doesn’t mean you’ll escape from your pain.
Abused by her parents, thirteen-year-old Frances only wants to be safe and for her life not to hurt so much. And when she and her class are transported to the magical world of Durannon to fight the monsters invading the human kingdoms and defeat the self-titled Demon King, Frances is presented with a golden opportunity. If she succeeds, Frances will have the home she never had. If she fails, Frances will be summoned back to the home she escaped.
Yet, despite her newfound magic and friends, Frances finds that trauma is not so easily lost. She is dogged by her abuse and its physical and invisible scars. Not only does she have to learn magic, she has to survive the nightmares of her past, and wrestle with her feelings of doubt and self-loathing.
If she can heal from her trauma, though, she might be able to defeat the Demon King and maybe, just maybe, she can find a home for herself.
[The Beginning] [<=Chapter 217] [Chapter Index and Blurb] [Chapter 219 June 11 or see the next chapter now on Patreon]
The Fractured Song Index
Discord Channel Just let me know when you arrive in the server that you’re a Patreon so you can access your special channel.
***
Ginger makes an offer to Lakadara. The rest of Telkandra's remaining brood discuss the fate of their allies.
“Not good?” Sara asked as Helias strode into the tent and made his way straight to the bottle of wine.
“Not good,” Helias muttered.
Sara nodded woodenly. “Privacy spell?
The tauroll waved his sheathed Fangroar and after pouring himself and his wife a drink, sat down. “We’re safe. Oh Galena, this is really not good.”
“How dead are we?” Sara asked, her tone light.
“We’re not dead. We’re just in a lot of danger and even if we somehow force the humans to retreat, we’ve lost this war,” said Helias.
“Explain.”
Helias drank deep, noting that Sara was also drinking deep as well. “Thorgoth is going after the humans. That part of the plan is as good as it gets. We’ll be attacking them, and using the dragons, whilst our forces hold off Titania. Our objectives are also well-chosen.” Helias buried his head into his hands and let out a deep groan. “But winning this doesn’t change anything.”
“If we can defeat the humans, why won’t that change anything?” Sara bit her lip. “Unless it renders us unable to beat Titania?”
“Yes. Even on the chance we beat the humans we won’t be able to invade them, we won’t be able to defeat Titania. We’d be at a stalemate and both armies would have to withdraw.” His hands dropping to the table, Helias stared at his wife. “And we don’t have any reserves left. We’re going to lose the war, even if Thorgoth lives.”
“If we defeat the humans—”
The general shook his head. “By defeat, I mean we’ll hurt them but we can’t prevent them from withdrawing. We might kill a few of their leaders, their important mages and Otherworlders, but they will still have soldiers. After coming so close, they won’t surrender. They’ll keep attacking until they kill enough of Thorgoth and Berengaria’s supporters that nobody will help them, or until both of them die.”
“Alright so, what do we do?” Sara asked. Helias looked at his wife, noting how still she sat. Her wings were clamped tight to her back and her lips were drawn tight.
“Sara, I don’t have good answers.”
Sara steepled her trembling fingers as best she could. “They’re going to be better than mine. I don’t know anything about war.”
“Right. Well, you need to surrender to the humans if you are captured. Present yourself as a non-combatant. Cry, scream, anything to declare that you don’t mean any harm,” Helias said.
“Why not Titania?” Sara asked.
“She has every incentive to kill you off and far less compunction about doing so. Killing our family off would allow her to have more land to give away to her loyalists. In contrast, the humans have Erlenberg troops fighting with them along with those of the Lightning Battalion. They’re going to be far more friendly to Alavari civilians,” Helias said.
Soft hands, grabbed onto Helias’s waist with a surprisingly firm grip. “What about you? I can get away, but how are you going to survive this?”
“I don’t know. I—”
“Don’t you dare! Our daughter needs her father and I need my husband!”
The general stared at his wife. “Sara, I can’t surrender to the humans if we win. They want me dead.”
Sara refilled Helias’s glass. “Then you need to help Thorgoth defeat them.”
“Then what? We’re never winning this war. Thorgoth is going to be invaded and—”
Cutting him off with the clink of her goblet against the table, Sara hissed, “And what? Why think that far? We can plan for that after this battle, so long as you are still here and with me.”
Letting out a breath Helias pushed his hair back and allowed himself a sigh. Reaching across the table, he took his wife’s hand.
“Sara, you’re right, but you know you can escape this if Thorgoth is defeated.”
The harorc placed her other hand on top of his. “We’re partners. I need you. We need you. So promise me that you’ll do your damndest to live.”
Helias closed his eyes and nodded. “I promise. First things first, before we turn in we need to talk to the dragons.”
***
Fennokra stalked slowly toward the camp. This wasn’t the collapsed side-passage where she and Yolandra had some privacy. This was the main camp where Thorgoth and their army were preparing for what had to be the final battle.
It was also where her siblings were swallowing the last of what seemed to be a side of salted pork.
“Velkandra, Makentra, we need to talk.”
Their second-eldest sister licked her lips, her neck rising to Fennokra’s level. “I am assuming you mean in private?”
“Of course.” Fennokra could see Velkandra’s haunches tensing to raise herself higher. Her sister was trying to look down on her. Allowing her head to dip, she held her height.
“Alright.” Velkandra flicked her tail and Makentra, licking his lips, followed them.
Since their enemies had set up their siege camp behind them, the Alavari camp had been reduced in size. Still, there was the alcove of the collapsed tunnel. Whilst couriers and soldiers crossed across this natural cavern to the defenses on the other side, they kept a good distance away.
Yolandra was waiting for them, scratching something into the cave wall. Fennokra let out a rumble in her throat and her sister turned from the wall suddenly, shaking her head.
“Velkandra, Mankentra—”
Velkandra puffed a cloud of smoke out. “What’s this all about?” she hissed, lips drawn back to show teeth.
Fennokra took a step away from her sister to take Yolandra’s side, her eyes narrowed. “Are you joking? Do you not think we should at least discuss what is going on?”
“And what would be the point? It is a bit late to be having this discussion. The course of the winds have been chosen,” said Velkandra.
Yolandra rose to her full height on her four legs, but even so she was still shorter than the silent Makendra. “The winds can be fickle, Velkandra, and where we are is proof.”
Velkandra pursed her lips, eyes for the first time, looking toward the ground. “The survival of our family is tied to that of Thorgoth. To abandon him would be death by the hand of the Stormcaller and her allies or by his hand.”
“Besides, if we were to abandon Thorgoth’s cause, that would be dishonorable. We promised to assist him,” said Makendra.
Fennokra blinked at her brother’s tone. It was quiet and yet there was a touch of a deep growl to his voice. His claws were ever so slightly digging into the ground.
“We are dragons. We can think and make decisions for ourselves. We are allowed to consider other options, are we not?” Fennokra asked.
Velkandra’s tail flicked violently side to side as her neck turned to her younger sibling. “Then why does it sound as if you wish to follow in the wingbeats of our elder sister?”
“Who we killed. I was there. I lost a claw striking her down!” Fennokra raised one clawed hand, flexing the remaining digits.
“On that, why did we have to kill Lakadara?”
All golden eyes fixed on Yolandra, who held the gaze of her siblings with a contemptuous scowl.
“Lakadara betrayed us,” said Velkandra, almost growling.
“I’ve been thinking over what happened. Lakadara said nothing about betraying our mother. She merely was questioning if Thorgoth was trustworthy,” Yolandra said.
A scowl flaring his nostrils, Makentra growled. “He fed us, trained us in how the humans and their allies fought. Hid us from their eyes—”
“And now Caldra is dead!” Yolandra exclaimed.
“Which is why we must kill the Stormcaller and her friends! So we can avenge him and our mother!” Velkandra almost completely unfurled her wings. Only the tips slapping the stone forced her to pull them back.
“Then what?” Yolandra asked.
Velkandra frowned. “Then what? We’d have our revenge—”
Yolandra’s tail cracked against the ground. “Then what? You all must have heard of what Thorgoth is capable of. What he’s done to others.”
Makentra rolled his eyes. “Sara’s story is just a story. She might have been just trying to turn you.”
“She was honest and she is not the only tale I’ve heard. You must have heard rumors of what Thorgoth did to his own son, Teutobal,” said Fennokra.
“Propaganda,” Velkandra hissed through her gritted teeth, while smoke wafted through the gaps. “In any case, we have no other option. We fight or we die.”
Fennokra, her claws grinding against the floor, had had enough.
“Velkandra, Makentra, have you ever considered that Thorgoth is perhaps using us for his own goals? We have not even considered what he might do to us after we’ve destroyed the humans and their allies. How do we know the Stormcaller and her allies might treat us better? Besides in the first place, she never intended to kill our mother—”
Fennokra blinked. She was flying backwards, something hard was bearing her into the wall. Dizzy as if struck by one of the Stormcaller’s spells, she realized that the force was the foreclaws of her elder sister. Mad rage lit those golden eyes that were the exact same shade as hers. Horrified, Fennokra tried to throw Velkandra off, but her sister was larger and heavier than her.
“Say that again. I dare you to say that again—ARGH!”
Velkandra rolled off, forced off of Fennokra by the Yolandra shoving into her side. As the elder dragon recovered, the smallest of Telkandra’s brood hissed, “It’s the truth! You are a fool to deny it!”
An ugly sneer on her lips, wings quivering with fury, Velkandra snorted. “The truth? Oh right so we are speaking the truth then. Well here’s the truth. Our kind is doomed!”
Makentra blinked. “Sister?”
“Of course Thorgoth is going to get rid of us or try to after this campaign. He has to, but right now he needs us and that’s what we need to rely on until we gain more strength. Of course, whether he wins or the Stormcaller’s allies win, how can we expect to survive in a world dominated by these lesser species hm? How could they ever not see us as a threat?”
Velkandra stalked toward the wide-eyed Fennokra and Yoandra. Her head turned side to side as she fixed her sisters with wild wide eyes.
“Well? Tell me Fennokra. Speak the truth Yolandra. Or are you both too afraid to admit that our kind are doomed and the only thing is to live as long as we can and hopefully avenge those that hurt us as we do so.”
“You’d have us fly to our deaths?” Makentra asked.
The stammering voice brought Velkandra around. Extending a wing, she touched its tip to her brother’s. “I would at least have us fly together.”
Fennokra shook her head. “We’d knowingly fly with a murderer of children and someone who would want to kill us after we’ve stopped being helpful to him.”
“And we have no other options,” said Makentra. Letting out a breath, he rose to his claws and walked away. “I’ll see you tomorrow, sisters.”
Velkandra, without another word, turned for the exit. “You know it’s true, Fennokra, Yolandra.”
Fennokra closed her eyes. Yolandra, though, narrowed hers. “Doesn’t change that Lakadra’s blood is on our claws.”
Velkandra flinched and left. She strode away so quickly she nearly stepped on Helias and Sara as they came to the cave. She gave the pair no acknowledgement other than a growl.
“See you tomorrow, General,” said Makentra, his tone curt. “We will talk to King Thorgoth ourselves for the plan’s details.”
“Of course,” said Helias. He bowed as the pair left before turning to Yolandra and Fennokra. “I believe we missed something important?”
“Be honest, General Helias. Even if we succeed tomorrow, your king has no use for us after we help him kill the Stormcaller, am I correct?” Fennokra asked.
Sara and Helias didn’t say anything. Their slight move to stand closer so they could hold hands was enough.
“I thought so,” said Fennokra. She let out a sigh and glanced at Yolandra, who nodded. “We will be on the battlefield tomorrow. Where are we going?”
“You’re going with me. We’re attacking the forces sallying from Kairon-Aoun. The plan is that you dragons breathe flame over their army to soften them before we attack.
“Understood. Any questions Fennokra?” Yolandra asked.
Fennokra shook her head. What could be asked anyway?”
Yolandra flashed the pair a joyless smile. “For what it is worth, you two have been good caretakers to us. Even if it was to preserve your own lives.”
Helias didn’t bow. Instead he extended a hand. Yolandra stared at him, but Fennokra, recognizing the gesture, extended a single talon.
“May you always be able to see the sun.” At the dragon’s blink, Helias smiled. “It’s an Alavari saying. It may come from when we used to be enslaved by the Goblin Empire. It means good luck.”
Yolandra nodded and Fennokra found herself smiling.
“Our mother taught us a saying as well. May you never fly alone. I wish that for you both,” said Fennokra.
“Thank you,” said Sara in a quiet voice. She curtsied and the two dragons dipped their heads. They watched Helias and Sara leave with placid smiles.
Then, when nobody was looking, they turned from the entrance to hide their bulks as best they could. The gloomy light of the alcove their only curtain of privacy.
***
Frances slowed slightly as they approached Lakadara’s enclosure. However, Ginger did not slow down.
“Hold on, Ginger, what’s the plan?” Frances asked.
Adjusting her new crown mid-stride, Ginger said, “I’ll show you. I’m certain it’ll work, though.”
Frances’ eyebrows rose. “Is that crown getting to your head already?”
The new Queen of Erisdale flashed a slightly nervous grin over her shoulder. “Yes actually, but I think that’s a good thing in some way. Don’t you?”
Frances found herself nodding. It was strange to see her friend even more confident than usual and so comfortable in the regal crown that she wore atop of a standard Lightning Battalion light blue uniform. Yet she rather enjoyed the new gait that Ginger had.
“I do.” Frances smirked. “Your Majesty.”
Ginger rolled her eyes. “Fuck you.”
Giggling, Frances stopped herself as they drew even closer to Lakadara. The dragon was drawing herself up, placing her massive foreclaws over each other.
“Lakadara. I am Ginger, the new Queen of Erisdale. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”
The dragon coughed, blowing out a puff of smoke. “Greetings Ginger, Queen of Erisdale. I’m sorry for your predecessor’s demise.” Lakadara’s golden eyes narrowed. “Why are you here?”
Ginger dipped her head. “Thank you and as to why I’m here. I have a proposition. If you accept it, I will grant you and your kin, the domain of the Erisdalian mountains marked by the Kwent River Valley, Freeburg and Athelda-Aoun as your home in perpetuity, so long as you do not attack humans unless in self-defense.”
“I am unfamiliar with human geography. From the Stormcaller’s expression, I assume that is a lot.”
Frances swallowed and closed her mouth, but she didn’t question her friend. Ginger, still smiling slyly, nudged her. “It is. Frances, can you lend me a hand here?”
Nodding, Frances closed her eyes and imagined a rough map of Erisdale and its territories. With a wave of Ivy’s Sting she created an image of Erisdale, highlighting in red the expanse of the mountains that bordered Alavaria and Erisdale. The area that Ginger had described sketched a rough red triangle between the three points. It was a fairly sizeable area with a low and Alavari human population.
“My husband is in negotiations with Queen Titania and I’ll have to talk to Frances and Prince Timur, but we are quite certain that Athelda-Aoun will also be included in this area,” Ginger said.
Lakadara’s golden eyes were flickering as she examined the land. Suddenly, she turned, long neck arching toward the Erisdalian Queen. “And what must I do? Fight on your kingdom’s behalf?”
Ginger shook her head. “No.”
“No?”
“Nope. If you would like to do so we can renegotiate the agreement, but my husband and I fully intend to grant you this land.”
The dragon’s tail lifted up as her eyes narrowed. “Explain yourself and the favor you seek. This is far too generous.”
“Let me explain myself first. If what I’m told by my experts is correct, you can lay eggs by yourself without a mate, but it takes time right? A few decades?”
“Yes. Still, that doesn’t explain—”
“Here me out. This war is going to end. We may lose, but if we win, banishing you to the north is making you Queen Titania’s problem and she’ll have more than enough problems to deal with. You might just end up coming south again and we know how that ended. I’d prefer to avoid that so that means we need to make an agreement. You need a new home and I need peace for Erisdale. If the kingdom has to give up some poor agricultural land then I’m all for it.”
The dragon nodded. “I see, but why so much land? Why not just give me a cave? Or request my service as Thorgoth did?”
“And how will you eat? Hunt? Where will your grown children go? I’m making an agreement that will last for decades, not just a few years. As for service? I was tempted, but you wouldn’t agree to that anyway and why should you? We haven’t given you any reason to agree.” Ginger gave Frances a wave to dispel the map. “Maybe in the future we can work something out, especially if the dragon population increases. Your service in return for more food, but again, I want to start us off on the right path, not the left path.”
“Left path?” Lakadara asked.
“Erisdalian expression. It means the wrong path,” Frances said helpfully.
Lakadara nodded slowly. “You still ask for a boon, though.”
Ginger nodded. “Yes. I want you to speak to your siblings. Before the upcoming battle starts, tell them of my deal with you. So long as they choose to accept that deal and defect, then I will have it so our forces will not hurt them. After that, you may leave. I will not request you to fight with us.”
“You want me to show myself to Thorgoth? To the siblings that tried to kill me?” Lakadara asked, mouth agape.
Ginger stepped closer to the dragon, who lifted her head away from the queen. “I want you to save your siblings. I want you to save yourself from becoming the last purple dragon in existence. I would rather you not be alone, stewing in hatred for my kingdom and our allies who brought down your family, even if we had just cause. I want peace. What do you want?”
“How do I know I can trust you?” The dragon suddenly grimaced. “Ah, right, you want a lasting peace. You have every reason to want peace.”
Ginger, arms crossed tapped her foot. Frances could see how stiff her friend was, but the action was also comforting. That her magic-less friend had such control over the situation, despite being faced with the dragon was rather…badass.
Letting out a puff of smoke that slowly drifted into the cavern, the dragon pondered the queen’s proposal. Frances held her breath and yet the dragon remained silent, only her tail moving from side to side.
Ginger waited, still content to wait for the dragon’s answer. Frances couldn’t. The tension coiled in her chest, waiting to explode.
“Lakadara, what do you want for your future?” Frances asked.
The dragon glanced at Frances, golden eyes wide. She turned back to Ginger, who continued to stand tall, awaiting Lakadara’s answer patiently.
“I accept your offer, and your promise for the future,” said Lakadara, dipping her head.
“We are glad that you wish the same as we do,” said Ginger. She extended her hand and Lakadara, took her claw and put the tip of it on the queen’s palm.
*Author’s Note: Queenly Ginger was really neat to write 😀 *
submitted by vren55 to redditserials [link] [comments]


2024.05.29 04:55 CoconutCremePies Rebooking The Ministry of Darkness Part II: Stephanie Comes Home

(PART 1) https://www.reddit.com/fantasybooking/s/TFDKfdWs5m
Road To Over The Edge
The night after Backlash, Vince McMahon demanded to know the whereabouts of Stephanie. The Undertaker was absent from the show, but The Jackyl assured Vince that she was safe in the arms of the Lord of Darkness. The Jackyl challenged Vince to meet him in the parking lot and beat the answers out of him if he really wanted to know. Vince stormed to the parking lot, only to be jumped by Mideon. Vince would easily fight him off, but was nearly run down by the ominous hearse at full speed that had crept in arena parking lots for months.
Shane McMahon began to forcefully insert himself as the leader of The Corporation and it started with The Rock. After failing to take back the WWF Championship from Stone Cold at Backlash, Shane fired The Rock from The Corporation and cemented it with a slap to the face. A Rock Bottom to Shane was interjected by Triple H, Chyna, Big Boss Man, and The Mean Street Posse, who put a beat down on The Rock. On the pilot episode of SmackDown! Shane completely usurped control from Vince McMahon over The Corporation and kicked him along with his stooges, Pat Patterson, Gerald Briscoe, and Sgt. Slaughter out of the group.
His reason? Vince lost focus. Shane stated that Vince only cared about Stephanie instead of the bigger picture which was The Ministry. Shane was also disgusted that Vince not only became so accepting of a reject like Mankind, but that he seemed to have more of a bond with Mankind than his own son. Big Show, Ken Shamrock, and Test refused to side with Shane and willingly departed The Corporation to stand by Vince’s side. Shane promised that under his leadership and vision, The Corporation would succeed in erasing The Ministry where Vince failed.
The pilot SmackDown! concluded with the Black Wedding. Shane was hesitant to interfere and stop the wedding out of fear that it could be a set up. Former Corporation members, Ken Shamrock and Big Show attempted to put a wrench in the plans for the wedding, but both were taken out by the Deadman with a baseball bat. Finally, Stone Cold Steve Austin would emerge and crash the wedding, managing to fight off most of The Ministry, whilst also saving Stephanie.
Vince would go on to form The Union that was comprised of Mankind, Ken Shamrock, Big Show, and Test. The Rock stepped in as an ally and unofficial member of The Union to assist in bringing down The Ministry as well as sticking it to The Corporation for his unceremonious removal a few months prior. Stone Cold vs Undertaker for the WWF Championship, Rock vs HHH, and a Triple Threat Elimination tag team match pitting the Mideon and Viscera, Mankind and Big Show, and Boss Man and Shane were the 3 big matches going into Over The Edge. Though Stephanie had been rescued from her horrific situation, her demeanor underwent a transformation in the weeks leading up to the PPV, seeming to constantly be in a zoned out state of shock.
Over The Edge
● Mideon and Viscera def. Mankind and Big Show and Shane McMahon and Big Boss Man in a Triple Threat Elimination Tag Team match
Big Show and Mankind were surprisingly the first team eliminated after The Ministry and The Corporation formed a brief alliance to work against them. The commentators were surprised to see Shane forming an alliance of any kind with The Ministry after all they’d done the last few months, but Shane’s hatred for Mankind, feeling Vince favored him more, would always cause him to act irrationally.
Boss Man and Shane seemed to be on their way to scoring a win over Mideon and Viscera after Chyna had attacked Mideon with the ring bell, while the referee was distracted, but The Brood and The Acolytes would soon get involved. With chaos fraying the referee’s attention on the match, Gangrel would spit blood in Shane’s eyes, allowing The Ministry to take the win after a double Chokeslam on Shane.
● The Rock def. Triple H via DQ after interference from Chyna
● The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer def. Stone Cold Steve Austin to win the WWF Championship
While the first few minutes of the match started off hard hitting, it didn’t take long for interferences to come into play. Just as Austin hit a Stunner on Taker, Shane McMahon ran down and attacked the ref to stop the pin. Shane’s delusional intention was for Undertaker to win the title, so that a member of The Corporation could beat him for the title and stop The Ministry. Shane would grab a steel chair and waffle Austin in the head with it. Vince would run down and tackle Shane, which led to Union and Corporation members running out and brawling to the back.
Moments later, Stephanie McMahon came walking towards the ring with a box in her hand, similar to the one that contained her teddy bear months earlier. She entered the ring and opened the box that was revealed to contain…..the urn! As Austin and Taker rose to their feet simultaneously, Stephanie glanced at the urn and then both men, before bashing Austin in the head with the urn.
Undertaker would capitalize with a Tombstone Piledriver, while Paul Bearer revived the referee to make the 3 count pin. The fans and commentators were stunned at what they were witnessing. A seemingly entranced Stephanie dropped to one knee and took an Undertaker style bow before the urn as Bearer rose it up and fire exploded from the turnbuckles. Stephanie McMahon was now property of The Ministry of Darkness!
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2024.05.29 04:53 skeeredstiff The disappearing ghost town.

In 1982, I and six buddies went bear hunting in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. We were staying at some cabins near Twin Lakes at the base of the Keweenaw Peninsula. When you hunt most critters you go out before dawn and sit until an hour or two after the sun comes up and late afternoon until dark. Most bigger game animals hunker down during daylight hours, so it doesn't pay to sit all day. This means you have a lot of time between hunts; this part of the UP has some remote areas; it is also where a lot of copper mining went on in the old days; the mines are all closed now and mostly full of water. There are a lot of big paper mill holdings there also that are still being logged, so there are a lot of logging roads built by the paper mills; they are good enough roads for large double-trailer logs trucks filled with many tons of logs to travel on. One thing you learn quickly when you use these roads is to get the hell off the road when a truck is coming because they take up the whole road and they don't even slow down for civilians because the mill owns the roads, not the state or county and you are on their land, but as long as you don't get in the way they don't care. Most of the bridges across streams or rivers just consist of huge piles of large rocks with smaller gravel on top of the road. These things look like dams, but because of the large bottom rocks, the water can flow through the "bridge." It's a pretty cool thing to see. We spent a lot of time driving and exploring these logging roads. On one particular day, we went down a new road that led to an actual state park at the bottom of Misery Bay on Lake Superior. It's a park maintained by the state on paper mill property, there are several very rusitc camp sites at that park. We spent some time at the park and messing around on the beach. About noon we headed back down a different road, you see alot of small shacks that usually have smoke coming out of the chimneys, they are apparently used by the loggers. We eventually ended up way out in the wilderness with no signs of logging or logging trucks, it's usually like driving in a tunnel because the trees come together over the road. After a long while, we came into a clear area, and around a bend there was we came upon what we thought was a small town. The road basically went right down "main street," and as we drove through the place, it became apparent there were no people to be seen. We came to a building that was a kind of store, so we stopped there. The "store" was completly empty, looking in the dusty windows you could see it had been empty for a long time. We walked around "main street" checking out the houses, a lot of them were in pretty good repair but they were completley deserted, dust on all the floors had been undisturbed for many years and ther were no signs of foot traffic anywhere. We eventually got back in the trucks and moved on we were all pretty intrigued by the town, we didn't go in any of the houses because it just looked like the owners might actually come back. The "main street" went up a pretty big hill, at the top of the hill was a large building that was obviously some kind of industrial use building covered in that old galvanized corrugated metal sheeting. We stopped at the building and found an opening in the siding. The inside of the building was wide open, and it was very tall, like 30-40 feet tall, with a lot of supporting steelwork; everything was very rusty and obviously hadn't been touched in many years. There were large windows with no glass, just open to the outside high up in the walls that allowed the sun to light it up pretty well inside. At the center of the place, there was a large hole in the floor, like 15-20 feet square. We peered down into the opening, and it was a deep dark hole; somebody dropped a stone down the hole, and it was a long time before you could hear a faint splash of water so we dropped a stone and we had a couple of those old Casio watches with a stopwatch function so we dropped a rock and timed it to the splash, it took almost exactly ten seconds. there were no guard rails or safety measures of any kind, it was really scary thinking about falling into that deep black hole. There was some old equipment left that looked to be like turn of the century type stuff, we assumed it was a closed copper mine.The whole time we were exploring we had two 35mm film cameras taking a lot of pictures, this was 30 years before cell phones and 35-40 before smart phones. After exploring the place for a while, we decided it was time to get going because we had only a few hours before dark. After miles of running down those unmarked roads, we eventually made it back to the cabins, and we all went out to our hunting spots. After it got dark, we all headed to the local bar where we usually went to get something to eat. One of the guys asked the lady bartender if she knew anything about that shut-down mine and abandoned the town; she got kind of a funny look on her face and went to the kitchen pass-through window and said, "hey Dave, these guys went and visited Peterson, we all looked at each other like WTF is she talking about, the kitchen door opened up and the a the cook apparently called Dave came out dressed in typical bar cook clothes. Dave came over and said what did you see in Peterson we said first of all, we never saw a sign with a name on it, but it was just an abandoned town with pretty decent-looking buildings and a closed-down copper mine up on the hill. Dave said yep that's Peterson some people see the signs going into town and some don't, the thing is there never was a Peterson it never existed. Whh......What the fuck are you talking about? We were there, looked into the buildings, dropped rocks down the empty mine shaft, and took many pictures. Dave said yep, you and many other people, but if you try to return, you won't find it. What? We know the road we took. We can get back there, he said go ahead and try. You won't find it. Dave asked did you, by any chance, drop a rock in the hole and time it to the bottom? Yes, actually, we did it took almost exactly ten seconds, Dave said yep, I did, too, and I looked it up. A falling rock or anything falls about four hundred feet in ten seconds; he said Peterson is a real ghost town the whole place is a real ghost town; he said I was there and saw the same things years ago, but I've tried many times to go back and I've never been able to find it, me and a lot of other people who live in this area and know it like the backs of our hands have seen it once and once only. Dave said to go to Houghton Hancock and get your film developed, and let's see the pictures. The next day, we decided to take off from hunting and go up to town and get the film developed. Houghton Hancock is home to Michigan Tech so it's a college town with all the amenities it had a quick film developer place so we dropped the film off and went to see the sights, it's a really picturesque place. About an hour north east of HH is Copper harbor at the very top of Michigan were it ends into Lake Superior, it to is a really cool place. When we got back to HH, we were dying to see the pictures, so we went and got the film and tore open the envelopes. There were lots of pictures, beautiful pictures, but not a single picture of "Peterson"..........Now just a goddamned minute, this is not fucking possible a couple of the guys went back to the film place and asked where are the other pictures that were on those rolls? There were no other pictures. You have all the negatives. We don't keep other people's pictures. We see thousands every month. There's a park in town, and we stopped there, and all sat at a table, just kind of in shock, not saying much for quite a while. In 1982, I was 23 years old. At 23, you think you know it all when you are hit square in the face by something like that; it shakes you to the core; everything you think you know is now suspect because you were in that abandoned town; it was just a cool old abandoned town, you saw it with your own eyes in the wide open sunny broad daylight, not on some dark foggy creepy night and nothing creepy happened, we took pictures that don't exist. That changed my life from that point forward. After that, we went back to see Dave and gave him the stack of pictures of the woods, the Big Mac bridge, Misery Bay, the park on the bay, logging trucks, the rock bridges, some of the shacks, one of which was just about two miles from "Peterson." Dave just kind of chuckled and said yep, that's our "Peterson" alright. For the next two days we totally forgot about hunting, we split up in two trucks and drove those roads over and over and over and never re-found "Peterson." That is my high strangeness story, we found a town that never existed, that other people have also see but only once. As I look back on what we are now hearing stories about, stuff like different timelines like this fucked up one we are in now compared to the real one we branched off from on January 20, 2016. Is Peterson a place close to a spot where two different timelines come very close together? Is it possible that when all the conditions in the universe are just right, and you happen to be in the right place when all those conditions are right, you can visit Peterson? What would happen if you were in Peterson and the universal conditions changed? I wonder if we will ever find out. If you can only go there once, how will it be studied? The mind-warping question is, who keeps track of who has been to Peterson only once and who hasn't?
submitted by skeeredstiff to HighStrangeness [link] [comments]


2024.05.29 04:26 InteractionProud7297 need honest criticism

i'm working on a novel and would like to know if anyone could tell me any improvements i could make to the first chapter and prologue
Prologue
The day had started the same way it had for the past two years. The only difference was that I was going home. The hallway was crowded with people walking to and from their classes. Everyone was crowded next to each other so the halls were making the area feel claustrophobic. All the people talking mixed with the summer heat made me feel like I was locked in a sauna. I walked with Preston to the last class we would ever have together and as usual he was smiling. I never got why he always smiled even in situations where people should be sad he still smiled. He knew what today meant for me and he tried to keep light of the situation. I kept my head down away from what was ahead of me. My mind was too clouded about returning to see my family to notice anything in front of me. I walked into another student. It felt like I had walked into a wall. I knew immediately I had walked into tree. I stumble onto the ground and the commotion around me slows down to make room for us. He turned his bulky body around and apologized profusely without saying a word even though I had walked into him. He helped me off of the ground before hurrying down the hall.
“Alexandria, are you doing okay?” Preston said he had tilted his body downward so I had to look down to look him in his eyes. The way he was standing made him look like an idiot but he didn't seem to care. The way he acted made me laugh, which caused his smile to widen.
“I'm doing fine, just got lost in my head.”
“Thinking about how you’ll leave soon,” he said
“Was it that obvious?” He was the only person I told about me being an exchange student. I came to spend high school in Newkinawa and he was the only person I ever hung out with.
“I see what you mean,” he said “Newkinawa is a beautiful place with beautiful people to live in it…myself included”
“You wish,” I say with a smile we continue walking through the hallway “I'm just not excited to go back yet”
After I say that his smile grows wider “So you will miss me after all”
“I wouldn't say that much” I responded whilst smiling.
We had made it to our last class only to see it closed with a sign labeled “Uma incident” Uma was a student known for messing with the chemistry lab and destroying school property in the process. I've never actually met her but Preston says “She's a little weird but still nice”
“Guess class is canceled for today,” Preston remarked with a smile “Wanna go out to the court till the bell rings.”
“Sure let's go” I respond
The place we ate every day was outside. It used to be a tennis court before I moved in. Now they put trees and flowers all over the place. Preston really liked the blue color of the flowers but it just never clicked for me. I look over at Preston and he's staring up at the sky. There are a number of clouds in almost enough to block the sun but it still pokes its rays through and lands on Preston's face. The clouds swim in front of the sun till they block out the sun's light. Preston faces towards me.
“I'm gonna miss you Alexandria” he says
“You know you can just call me Alex,” I replied. I start to smile again. “I'll miss you too!" He smiles toward me again as we get up to leave as the clouds start to clump together and rain slowly falls. As we're walking back to the school there's a loud tearing sound followed by screams as the ground shakes.
The ground tears itself apart as the dirt and stone erupt from the ground. The sky blackens and a pale blue light escapes the earth. Then creatures erupt from the ground in a violent ejection from the earth creating a white pillar diffusing as they reach higher in the air. Some are clawing their way out of the cracks like maggots out of a corpse. People are swept into the updraft screaming for their lives.
The creatures descend like a tidal wave and tear apart any people caught in their path. They storm out of the crack in hundreds as more cracks in the earth form. Me and Preston started running away as people were screaming behind us. A girl running next to us has her legs slashed by a creature. The monster begins to tear open her chest as she chokes on her own blood. The monster shovels her lungs and innards into its decrepit mouth. Me and Preston keep running until we're met at the entrance of the school and we catch the attention of a monster as it begins to savagely rush toward us. The monster resembles ghosts my father told me about. But this one looks monstrously horrific. It floats in the air and opens its mouth so wide it nearly replaces its entire torso; its jaws hold savage teeth each the same old gray color of its body. Its eyes glow a rotten yellow color through the dark. It stretches out its arms showing its giant hands and claws like fingers. It swipes at us leaving a giant claw mark on the door behind us but Preston ducks my body down to avoid the attack. We run around it as the monster swaps its focus to another bystander. Screaming past us. Me and Preston run into the parking lot as people scream around us. We hide next to a car.
“What the hell is happening!?” I yell to Preston. More of the creatures fly over us and swoop down to people like vultures on roadkill devouring the fleeing people.
Preston starts to breathe heavily ”we need to get out of here and someplace safer”. As we were talking one of the monster phases through the car we were hiding next to forcing us to run into the street.
“Lets go to your house till things cool down” i say to Preston through panted breaths
“Wait couldn't we head to your house instead” Preston says.
“Why would that matter your house is closer anyways” i respond
“But-” Preston is interrupted by two creatures swooping above us to grab another person. The two monsters begin to pull the person apart while he writhes in pain before having his flesh be torn in half and having his organs be devoured.
“Come on lets go!!” I say as I grab his hand and run even faster.
By the time we reach Preston's house any living person is gone. On the street are just corpses laying torn and mutilated on the roads and sidewalk. The air in the neighborhood feels cold despite the season being summer. When I walk down the street I can still hear the occasional horrific wail the monsters give off. We move closer to Preston's house and I can see him sweating. He looked more worried than before when the creatures were chasing us and he kept darting his eyes away from his home.
“Preston, are you feeling okay?” he doesn't respond to my question and keeps darting his eyes. He walks slowly behind me and as I reach for the door handle and when I touch it it feels nearly freezing. I wrap my hoodie around my hand and slowly open the door. The house is quiet so me and Preston creep further into his house. The inside is cold and damp as if we were locked in a freezer. The further we move into the house the louder a subtle chewing sound is heard.
“It sounds like rats are eating a dead cow over there” I whisper. Preston continues to stay silent behind me. We slowly walk closer towards the kitchen and the sound gets louder and louder and louder until we reach the room.
We're met with a rancid smell of vomit and blood. My blood starts to run cold and every instinct in my body is telling me to run. I can feel Preston breathing get heavier as we get closer. We turn the corner and see Preston's mom lying on the ground dead with one of the creatures hunched over slurping her intestines. The sight causes me to vomit alerting the monster to our presence. The creature turns around and its mouth turns into a mortifying grin as it flies into Preston's moms body. The corpse begins to rise and spur splashing blood over the kitchen. When the corpse stops spasming it picks itself up from the ground and with glazed over eyes it holds its intestines in its hand and gives us the same grin it did when it was outside her body. The possessed corpse lunges at me and starts to chase me around the kitchen. The body is running into the walls and cabinets spraying its blood and other loose organs around the area as I'm avoiding its assault. The corpse leans over and ejects one of its loose intestines towards me, wrapping me in it. It pulls me towards it so fast I'm flung towards the ground. The corpse limbers over to me and raises its free hand aiming for my head. The creature's deranged smile causes the corpse’s cheeks to tear apart. It places both of its bloodied and demented hands on my face and starts to press my skull into the ground. I struggle to breathe. The room starts to get dark and blood escapes my head.
Until Preston jumps on top of his mothers corpse with a kitchen knife and repeatedly stabs it in the head. The possessed body tries to shake him off but he keeps stabbing, blood gets in on his face and tears start to escape his eyes. The creature violently ejects from the corpse's mouth causing her head to nearly explode and Preston stops stabbing the body. The body falls over in a splash of blood and organs. The monster leaves phasing through the roof leaving Preston crying over his mother's body. As the blood mixes with the tears he collapses to his knees crying. I walk over and hug him as the air around us turns bitter and the chill of death leaves the room and us with it.
Chapter 1 Eclipse
It's been 2 months since the apocalypse started. We've kept ourselves alive by looting grocery stores and houses, we hide from the creatures as we have no way to fight back against them. Preston came up with the idea to call them glanter’s. He’s looking better since we left his family home but I can tell something is wrong with him that he's not telling me. Everytime I ask him about it he tells me it's no big deal. I asked him earlier today and he just told me
“don't worry about it, I'm over it” without even looking at me. Now we're walking through the street and I'm walking behind Preston, I can barely see his head past the giant bag we're both carrying on our backs we use to carry supplies. I look up at the sky and it's still pitch black except for the moon giving us any amount of light. Preston turns around to face me.
“Let's check out that house, it might have some cool stuff in it” he points to a white house to our right. The house is a two story building with steps leading to the front door. There's a generator poking out from the backyard. The driveway is empty save for a couple of dried blood stains and tire marks. It's similar to the other houses in the neighborhood except for a couple broken windows.
“Sure why not” We head over to the house and I see something shining on the side of the house in the corner of my eye. I turn my head to look at it closer but it quickly disappears before I can see it clearly.
“Probably squirrel or something” I mumble to myself. Preston walks up the stairs to the house and I walk up the steps behind him as a breeze blows past my face. Preston tries to turn the door knob but the door is locked. I start to pull out a lockpick I grabbed at the store earlier. I motion towards Preston to move out of the way as I kneel down to pick the lock. It takes me a couple of minutes to unlock the door so I walk inside the house and Preston follows behind me while closing and locking the door. The doorway of the house leads to a dark room so I take a flashlight out of my bag to illuminate the area. Were put into the living room and bookshelves are on the walls and a large TV sat in front of a large black couch with smaller chairs surrounding it. Dust is covering every surface of the room and spiderwebs litter the corners of the walls. The area smells like moth balls and there's a lack of blood anywhere nearby.
“Guess the owners got out before the Glanter’s got in, '' I say to Preston. When he doesn't respond I turn around and he's already looking further into the house. When I find him he's managed to find a flight of stairs that lead to a lower portion of the house.
“I'll check on him later,” I think to myself as I headed towards the kitchen to see if we could restock on food. I walk past a bedroom and remark on how childish it looked. The walls were painted with blue and green stripes and a bunk bed sat on the right wall. There's a chest at the foot of the bed so I walk over and lift the top off of it. The box is layered with children's toys, a multitude of dolls, bears, and figures all jut out of the box. I notice a small robot toy and inspect it in my hands.
The cold metal makes my hand shiver and the sharp body shape makes the robot bigger than my hand. There's red lining around the robot's buttons surrounded by the cold gray of the robot's “skin”. It reminds me of a toy my little brother had. My heart feels heavy as I worry about what happened to my family. If they're alive, dead, or worse…possessed. The thoughts send a chill down my spine but I push them aside for now. I put the toy in my bag and exit the bedroom.
I can see the kitchen is down the hallway so I walk down the hall and enter. The kitchen is pretty clean except for a couple of dishes in the sink and the dust. There's a table seated for 3 people in the center of the room. I start opening the cabinets in search for any food or water. There's boxes of cereal leftover on top of shelves and a mix of chip bags and cookies in neat boxes stationed in the cabinets.
“Score,” I say to myself as I begin to put the snacks into my bag. When the cabinets are empty I look inside the fridge. The inside of the fridge ran out of power so most of the food inside is rotted. There are a couple of bottles of water in the front so I shove those in my bag. There's also a bag of oranges that still seem to be healthy in the back. I grab them and toss them on the table. There's rotten sandwich meat hidden in the drawer of the fridge.it smells like a dumpster outside of a butcher shop. I wrinkle my nose at the smell. I look around the kitchen for any bread with no luck.
I continue to look through the fridge until I hear Preston scream from another room. Immediately I bolt out of the kitchen leaving my bag behind and run towards the lower part of the house. I run down the stairs and nearly trip on the steps. The stairs lead to a big room. There are posters to tv shows and movies I don't recognize. The walls are painted black and there's a bear skin rug on the floor. I notice Preston standing next to a really big TV hyperventilating. I walk over to him and ask him.
“Are you ok? What happened?”
He talks through deep breaths “I… saw a… spider.”
“What?!” I respond in confusion.
“It was really big and I had jumped at my face”
“Sure it was.” I say while laughing “Let's go upstairs there's some food in the fridge we can eat”
“Wait, I think you should check this out.” He says while pointing towards one of the walls. I grab Preston's flashlight off the floor and face it towards the wall. Hanging halfway off the wall is a large map labeled Newkiwana scavenger hunt of 76.
“I think we should take it,” Preston says “You can read a map right?”
“A little but I'm not the best at it,” I say to him “can you read a map?”
“it shouldn’t be too hard it’s mainly pictures any way I'm sure I can figure it out”
I walk over to the wall where the map is hung there are trophies covering tables and shelved in their own personal cases one of them reads “1st place 100-meter swimming competition for 1986 Zack Hemmingway” and another one reads “2nd place 100-meter swimming competition for 1989 Zack Hemmingway”
“Guess this guy really liked swimming,” Preston remarks while staring at a wall of newspaper clippings. All of them are about the same person in swimming competitions. All labeled different things like “a new record for Zack “the dolphin” Hemmingway”,
‘Zach Hemmingway our star plans for the future” all the newspapers are about this kind he has paler skin and a bulky enough build to swim pretty well. Most of the pictures have him coming out of the water in a pool, his long black hair soaked and sitting at his shoulders. Another one has him sitting at a desk over a pile of books and his hair in a knot , “vicious wipeout ends the Dolphins career”, and “ex-swim champ Zack Hemmingway found in a drunken stupor outside strip club.
“Everyone has their own hobbies I guess,” I say as I take the map off of the wall and fold it up. “Sucks what happened to Zack though” I walked over to Preston’s bag and put the rolled map in one of the pockets. I walk back up the stairs and Preston grabs his bag and follows behind me.
We make our way towards the kitchen and Preston starts looking through the fridge for anything to eat. I grab an orange from the table and throw it at his head. The fruit bounces off his head and rolls on the floor. He turns around and grabs the fruit from the floor
“Why did you throw an orange at me?”
“It's the only food we have unless you plan on eating spoiled a sandwich“ He starts to peel it while walking towards the table. We both take a seat and start to eat the oranges from the bag. He plants his feet on top of the table and bites into the fully peeled orange. I grab a water bottle from a bag and start to drink from it as Preston says.
“I saw a dvd player in that man cave downstairs we could watch a movie if it still has power”
“Sure it could be fun.” Me and Preston spend the rest of our time eating until the bag of oranges is emptied and we head back downstairs. Preston grabs the DVD player from under the table and blows the dust off the top of it; he plugs it into the wall as I plop myself onto the couch. He plugs the DVD player into the TV and sits on the recliner next to me. He presses a few buttons on the remote and the TV lights up. I squint my eyes at how bright it is. It's the most amount of light I've seen that didn't come from a flashlight. I notice there's a box filled with DVDs. I pull the box over towards me. I ruffle through the box and see movies like Silence of the Lambs, Terminator 2, and Home alone.
“Dude some of these came out just before the world turned inside out” I say to him.
“Really? Let's play one.” He responds. I toss him Terminator 2 and he puts it into the DVD player.
We spend the next couple hours watching movies and laughing together. It's some of our only moments of peace we’ve had since the end of the world and to me it's the most fun I've had yet. We're putting in the next DVD when there's a loud crash outside and the TV shuts off. Preston goes behind it to see if it's still plugged in.
“I think the generator outside is busted” i say
“It seems that way” Preston replies while backing away from the tv” i'm gonna go check it out”
“Don't worry I got it” I say as I hop out of my chair. Preston waves goodbye as I head up the stairs. I make my way back through the hallway leading to the living room and front door. I reach the door and start to turn the knob. I open the door wide as a car speeds down the street. I step out of the door to see what had happened when I hear the screech of a glanter. It cuts through the sky like an unholy opera singer. A group of them fly by and chase the car as I rush back inside the house. I slam the door shut and look through the window as I see a couple of smaller glanters grab and shake the car violently looking for the driver. They tear at it, ripping off doors and breaking the windows. The driver screams as the seats cover with blood and he's ripped out of the car as multiple smaller glanters tear and bite off parts of his body like piranha's until his body is completely devoured. I run back to the man cave to warn Preston about what had happened. I spot him laying in his chair spinning a DVD disc on his finger.
“It's not safe outside right now”
“Why not?
“There's glanter's outside, they just ate a dude in his car”
“Did they see you come inside?”
“I don't think so , they flew off before I went inside.”
“well we're not dead so I'm gonna say they didn't see you. But let's stay here for a couple more hours just to be safe”
“Sounds good i'm gonna go find the master bedroom.” I start to walk back up the stairs to the house
“ Hold on why do you get the master bedroom” Preston says while walking after me.
“Because I'm gonna find it first” I say as I start to run to find the bedroom. He chases after me in pursuit of the bedroom. Me and Preston run around the house looking for the master bedroom. We look through room after room finding closets, the garage, a bathroom and a door leading to a balcony in the back of the house. I manage to run into the bedroom and yell out to Preston.``Found it!!”
He comes walking into the room breathing heavily from the running. We both check out the room. The walls are painted a cream yellow and the bed takes up most of the room's center. The bed has burgundy sheets poking out from its bottom and a quilt with multi-colored floral designs lay sprawled out on top of it. There's a wardrobe built into the wall and a black leather couch sits comfortably on the left wall.
“Dibs on the bed” I say as I jump on top of it. I stretch out on top of the quilt and search for a comfortable part to sleep in.
“Where am I supposed to sleep then?” Preston complains
“You can sleep on the couch it looks soft enough” I respond while pointing towards the couch “I saw some spare blankets in one of the closets”
“Alright i’ll be right back” he mumbles to himself “why do i always get the couch”
“ I'll be right here if you need me,” i call after him. I sit up on the bed and start to look around the room more. I notice the entrance to the wardrobe is cracked open slightly. I hop out of the bed and grab a flashlight from my bag as I walk into the wardrobe. I turn on my flashlight and stare in awe at how many clothes are in there. The room is only half as big as the bedroom but it's still bigger than any closet I've ever had. The wardrobe is full of shirts, dresses, pants, and shoes for men and women. I immediately start to look through the shoes to see if any fit my size. I throw a pair of black high heels behind me as Preston finds me in the wardrobe. He looks around before asking me.
“What are you doing?”
“Finding a new pair of clothes to wear cause I've been wearing the same pair of jeans for waaaaay too long”
“Fair enough. Is there any guy stuff in there?”
“Yeah right there” I hook my thumb behind me to point to the other end of the closet.
“I'm sure they won't mind if we take a couple of things…they're probably dead by now anyways,” Preston says with a slight grin on his face. The way he said made me spin my head to look at him but he was already on the opposite end of the wardrobe looking at suits.
I shake away the thought and continue looking for any pair of sneakers in my size. 40 minutes pass before I walk out of the wardrobe holding a new pair of jeans and a black guns-N-roses t-shirt. I toss the clothes on top of the bed and check to see if the shower in the bathroom still works. I turn the dial and wait for a moment. The shower head chokes a little before water comes pouring out. I reach my hand under the showerhead to feel the water. The water is cold, it causes my hand to shiver when I take it out. I shake the water off and say to myself.
“Good enough” as I start to take off my old clothes and get in the shower. The cold water bounces off my skin, it sends shivers down my spine but I still get the old dirt from the last few months off of me. I step out and see a couple of dry towels hanging off of the door. I grab one and dry my body off and grab another to wrap around my head and dry my hair. I step out of the bathroom and Preston is still inside the wardrobe. I put on my new clothes while his back is turned and walk over towards him when I'm finished.
“Still haven't found anything,” I ask him
He turns around “Nothing yet, the only thing interesting was this coat.” He holds a leather coat up to me. The coat is made of black leather and has a skull covered with blue flames on the back. There's a black shirt inside the coat with a skeleton hand making a thumbs-up embroidered on the front.
“ That's pretty cool, it's better than what you're wearing right now at least” he's outfitted in a blue hoodie with holes on the chest and tears at the sleeves. He also has a shirt with a faded picture of a blue flower printed on it.
“I guess you're right” he gets up from the floor and exits the wardrobe. He lays the clothes on the couch along next to the blanket and pillow he brought into the room.
“The shower works so you can get yourself clean In there,” I say to him
“You know, a shower sounds really good right now.” He gets up from the floor and grabs a pair of pajama pants that were laying next to him. He leaves the wardrobe and enters the bathroom, closing the door behind him. After a moment the water turns on and I hop on the bed to get ready to sleep. I squirm myself into the quilt and rest my head against one of the pillows. I shut my eyes and fall asleep listening to the passive sound of the shower like rain on a car.
I'm in a void. It feels like I'm standing in a puddle of water that reaches to my knees. I wade my way forward looking around for anything in the darkness. In the distance I can see 3 figures l. I moved closer to them and their silhouettes get clearer. I realize they are my dad and brothers. I start to run towards them kicking up water behind me until something grabs my leg. It pulls down violently forcing me under the water without a breath of air. I kick at the thing grabbing me until something grabs my other leg. I look down and see two glanter's each with a monstrous smile on their faces. They stare back at me and one of them tugs my leg harder than before and tears it off of my body. The water around me turns red as the glanter laugh's. The other smiles wider as it starts to fling me around the water forcing any air left in my lungs to be forced out as I scream in pain. The glanter throws me away and I can see my family slowly fade into the distance as I'm flown away.
I struggle to swim back to where I was, one of my legs is missing and the other is broken. The glanter's find me again and I try to get to the surface to escape them. I'm flapping my arms in any attempt to escape as one of the glanter's flies in front of me and grabs my arm. I look at the monster with tears in my eyes as it bites my arm and tears my body away from it. It flings my body away and with my remaining arm I clutch the wound as the water floods into my body leaving me in the void I started in. I look around and the glanter's seem to have left. I turn behind me and see my family again, this time I'm closer than before.
I grit my teeth and drag my body towards them slowly as I leave a trail of blood and tears behind me. I finally reach my family and grab one of my father's shoes. I stare up and he looks at me. His stare causes me to feel cold as a grotesque smile grows on his face. I stare in shock as my brothers each have the same look as my father.
I shoot up from my sleep panting heavily in a cold sweat.
“It was just a dream..just a dream…just a dream” I look at my hands as tears fall into them. I look around the room and see Preston sleeping peacefully on the couch. The room feels frozen in place as a chill runs down my spine. I get out of the bed and walk out of the bedroom. I make my way through the dark hallway and find the entrance to the balcony I saw earlier. I creak open the screen door and head outside. The Balcony is pretty large, about the size of the kitchen in the house. There are some chairs knocked over next to a table and I pick one up to sit on it. I look out into the expanse of the neighborhood, houses lined up next to each other, dozens broken apart by roads, and dead bodies scattered across the roads.
I look up in the sky and sit back in the chair. The sky looks empty except for the moon giving this world its only source of light. Without the moon, we’d be left in darkness. It hangs in the sky alone, no stars, no clouds, nothing but itself, and the void of the sky. I think back about the dream I had. My dad and my brother's all dead and possessed and then they kill me. I start to tear up thinking about it. I try to wipe away the tears but it’s no use. I'm too scared for my family. I don't know where they are if they're alive if they're worried about me I don't know anything! I start to quietly cry into my hands. I don't know how long I'm sitting there until I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn my head to face it and I see Preston. He was smiling and looking at me. I turn away to wipe my tears and he walks next to me.
“I heard you sneaking out of the bedroom so I followed you to see where you were going.” he says “but that's not my question.” he pauses and looks at me “my question is what’s got you feeling so down?” he leans over the railing of the balcony
“It's nothing, I just came out here to clear my head.” I say as more tears escape from my eyes in big slow drops that ride down the sides of my face.
“if you don't feel like telling me you don't have to but i'll be here if you ever change your mind”. He looks up at the moon before turning to face me and his smile widens “I'll always be here with you…trust me I'm not going anywhere”
I stare up at him and wipe away my tears as a smile grows on my face to match his. I get up and stare over the balcony with him. “So where are we heading next?” I say to him, Preston pulls the map we got from the man cave downstairs out from his pocket.
“After I got out of the shower I decided to take a look at the map for anything interesting we could see.”
“Ok did you find anything?” i ask
“I did,” he points at a spot on the right of the map. “We should head to the museum”
“I didn't want to go to a museum before the apocalypse why would i want to go now?'' I ask him.
“Well the best part of museums is the cool stuff right”
“Yeah what about it”
“The only problem is that you could only look at the fossils and armor but you could never take them.”
“So you want to rob a museum?” Prestons eyes light up at the question
“Exactly they might have a really cool sword I could use, or I could sharpen a dinosaur tooth and use that as a weapon, there might be a cursed shield that can summon the dead to fight for you. This opportunity is too good to pass up. We need to go!”
“That does seem pretty cool but wouldn't carrying that stuff weigh us down. What if a glanter is chasing us and we can't run fast enough because of the stuff we took from the museum.”
“We’ll only take things that are light. Even then I could just block the glanter with my newly acquired 2000 year old shield.”
“Fair enough we can go in a couple hours” I yawn and stretch out my arms. “Cause I'm feeling way too tired to walk all the way over there right now.”
“Alright i'm heading back to my couch and THEN we’ll head out to the museum” he leaves the balcony and heads back to the master bedroom leaving me alone on the balcony.
“Thanks Preston I'm not leaving either” I say into the sky. I turn around and walk back inside the house, closing the balcony door behind me. I walk back into the bedroom and Preston is hunched over and holding a flashlight looking at the map. He’s drawing lines through roads and marking X’s in different areas.
“What are the X’s for?” i ask him
“They’re places that glanter’s usually stay around. I'm marking them off so we remember not to go through them, or at least be more cautious.”
“Cool. Did you find where we are right now?” He points to an area where the lines all converge out of.
“Right around here is where the neighborhood ends. So if we follow this path we can make it to the museum in one piece” I pat him on the back and take the map from his hands.
“Get some sleep Preston, we have a full day tomorrow” he grins to himself before laying down on the couch. I put the map back into my bag and hop on the bed to get to sleep. I cover my body in the quilt and roll over facing away from Preston as he falls asleep. I nestle myself into the bed and slowly fall asleep to get ready for the next day.
I'm awoken by Preston shaking the bed I'm sleeping on. My eyes open and the room is foggy, I wipe away the sleep from my eyes and focus my attention towards Preston. He's practically jumping out of his skin with excitement, he's already fully dressed for the trip and shaking the bed with a wide smile on his face.
“Ok ok i'm up the air feels heavy as a groggy feeling fills my body. I wipe my eyes and the room starts to clear up. I turn to face Preston. He's still shaking my bed to wake me up, he’s already fully dressed and nearly jumping out of his skin in excitement.
“Ok ok, i'm up you can stop shaking the bed” i say
“Then get up we’ve got a long walk ahead of us” he says as he stops shaking the mattress. He grabs the map from my bag and points to one of the red lines.
“We're gonna follow this way to the museum. We’ll move past the hotel around the ice skating rink and around the park. We’ll mainly stick to walking through the streets, we might have to go rooftop hopping to avoid any glanter’s if we see them but i'm sure we won’t reach that point.” he explains
“Wait, wait, wait, why are avoiding the skating rink and the park” i ask
“ everytime we go near the park there's weird noises and light coming out of it”
“And why can't we go to the ice skating rink?”
“I didn't think it would be important”
“It couldn't hurt to check it out at least”
“Fine we could make a detour”
“Ok and how do you plan on getting on top of roofs?”
“I'm sure we'll figure it out when we get to it”
“Ok man as long as you’re sure '' I yawn and step out of the bed. Preston starts to put the map in his bag. I walk into the bathroom with my clothes and change out of my pajamas. Minutes later I walk out and see Preston sitting on the couch twiddling his thumbs.
“Finally you're out” he smiles at me before handing me my bag and slinging it over his shoulder. We took a last look inside the kitchen to see if we missed anything. Afterwards we leave for the outside. The cold air bites at my face but Preston walks down the stairs, his face buried in the map. I jog to catch up to him as we both head into the street.
“Hey Preston, could I see the map?”
“Sure” he hands over the map and continues walking. I look at the map and the numerous lines drawn on roads. I look at the corner of the map and notice a small map key with numerous symbols for different areas like a library, school, hospital, and more. There's even a way to tell how far away each location is. The text reads “1 inch=5 miles” I quickly count how far we are from the museum.
“Dude this museum is like 100 miles away.”
“Yep it'll be a long walk, it'll take us a while to get there”
“Did you plan on us walking there the whole time?”
“We might find bikes or something.” he pauses “well i did think we would walk the whole way”
“This is gonna take us weeks to get there!”
“Did you have anything else planned?”
“Well…i guess not but we should still try to find some bikes or something”
“Ok if we see any way to travel faster we’ll take it”
“Alright cool” I hand him the map back and he folds it back up and puts it in his bag. We walk further until we leave the gated neighborhood we started in. Preston takes the map back out and looks at it before he turns right and continues walking. I follow him staring forward at the expanse of the road. The outside of the neighborhood is surrounded by roads all leading to different parts of Newkinawa. We walk past a sign that reads “Coretown 20 miles ahead” I nudge Preston towards the sign and he checks the map again.
“Yep, the museum’s in Coretown. Would you believe the residents were pretty proud of it. Should be a fun place to explore” he says
“Yeah but it’ll take us a million years to get there.” i complain
“Lighten up, I'm sure it will be worth it”. We continue walking down the road slowly making our way to Coretown.
submitted by InteractionProud7297 to writers [link] [comments]


2024.05.29 04:20 alyxandreeea89 Airport waiter made my jaw drop

So my husband and I were flying back from Cabo last week. We get through security about an hour and a half early before our flight and he lets me know that he’s getting pretty hungry, on the verge of hangry. We’re walking through the airport and it looks like zero options… until we find this little bar and grill and immediately go sit down. The waiter comes over and asks us if we want a drink; my husband and I kind of look at each other with the same look as if to say “one last margarita?” So we each order one and the waiter says “double? triple?” My husband immediately says double on habit since we have just left a week at an all inclusive resort where ‘doubles’ are the norm.
I glance at the menu, tell my husband what to order for me and then head to the restroom. While on my way there I do some quick math and think to myself “we’re about to spend $100 on lunch…”
Drinks and food arrived pretty quickly. Neither was anything special, I mean, I certainly don’t have high expectations for an airport restaurant although I have had some decent meals in airports before.
The waiter brings us our check and it was…. $165…. The bill was in pesos but the bottom had the total amount in USD as well. This is what we ordered: fish and chips, fish tacos, chips and salsa and two double margaritas. I ended up calculating the price of the drinks because I figured that was our downfall… it ended up being $45 PER drink. Fine, I blame that part on my husband for ordering doubles lol certainly not happy about how much the bill was especially considering the food was mediocre at best.
So once we got our receipt there wasn’t a place to leave a tip, just a signature line. So my husband threw down some cash on the table.. I didn’t ask how much.
About 90 seconds after he picked up the receipt and cash the waiter comes back over. He says this directly to my husband “Was there a problem with your service? Your total was $165 and most people tip at least 10%”. When I say my jaw dropped so quickly… I was also not going to hide the look on my face. And since he was speaking directly to my husband, I let him handle this. Also, I’m not a Karen or someone who wants/enjoys confrontation with people. My husband let him know that he left him all the cash he had left which was $7. The waiter just said “it’s okay” and walked away but BOY did he leave an impression. Just an FYI the “service” this waiter is referring to is taking our order and bringing us our check. Someone else brought us our drinks and our food.
We pretty much downed our drinks and then gtfo of there. My husband said he felt bad and wondered if he should go back and give him more money. I told him that’s probably what the guy wanted from that situation. We talked about this for at least 30 min after. It’s wild to think that people are relying on tips for their wages and have the balls to address a customer about it. This is obviously an issue between an employee and employer but customers are getting dragged into it. I also think there’s probably a huge difference in wages between US and Mexico but either way, I don’t want to feel guilty about leaving an optional tip. If I was in America and a waitress or waiter complained about the tip to me, I’m not sure if I could be nice or silent about it.
submitted by alyxandreeea89 to tipping [link] [comments]


2024.05.29 04:07 apehasreturned Booking the AEW World Title in 2024 - Part Two: The Master

Booking the AEW World Title in 2024 - Part Two: The Master
Part One Here!
We pick up following Blood and Guts, where AEW Champion Swerve Strickland led his team to victory over the Elite. It’s been an insanely brutal and bloody reign for Swerve so far, and with enemies and allies alike climbing the ladder towards a shot at the gold, he’s starting to grow slightly paranoid. With a second trip to Wembley approaching, the talk of the town is who’s going to win the Owen and go for AEW’s top title at Wembley - if Swerve even makes it there, the fans knowing that his wars of attrition are leaving him worse for wear with each passing defence.
Road to All In London
The lineup for the Owen is being narrowed down coming out of Blood and Guts, with MJF, Jay White, Bryan Danielson, Will Ospreay, Darby Allin, Hangman Page, Konosuke Takeshita and Katsuyori Shibata all in the running. With blockbuster match after blockbuster match being fought to determine the finalists for Calgary, we eventually come down to two: MJF and Will Ospreay, set on a collision course for the ages.
Swerve’s troubles don’t end there, though - after leaving the Mogul Embassy, his old allies smell blood in the water, and the EVPs are all too happy to make Strickland’s life more miserable by announcing a title match with Brian Cage for the Dynamite opener in Alberta’s largest city.
AEW World Title: Swerve Strickland (c) vs. Brian Cage
Cage gets a good showing in here, using his remarkable athleticism to nearly put the champion away early, but once Swerve gets rolling, it’s clear that there are levels to this game. The Machine goes for a Liger Bomb, Swerve reversing into a hurricanrana to leave him prone for a HOUSE CALL, FOLLOWED BY A SWERVE STOMP! ONE! TWO! THREE!
Swerve Strickland def. Brian Cage (11:51) to retain the AEW World Title
After the bout, Swerve’s handed his title, and he keeps it hugged tight to his chest as he grabs a microphone. He says everyone’s been working their asses off around him to try and take this from him, but the champion promises he’s not afraid. He welcomes the challenge, because there ain’t nobody like Swerve Strickland in SWERVE’S HOUSE. He says he’s looking forward to seeing who comes out on top in the main event, and heads off backstage to watch it with Prince Nana.
Owen Hart Foundation Tournament Final: MJF vs. Will Ospreay
This gets a lot of time, with no limit on a tournament final. Let them cook. MJF is in worse shape than Ospreay, having been flung straight into a tournament after a series of surgeries left him held together with duct tape, but Ospreay’s in a worse headspace, his typical unending confidence hampered by a few narrow wins en route to the final. However, it’s two spectacular in-ring talents, and they go ham in pursuit of victory, MJF wanting to headline Wembley for the second straight year and Ospreay looking to win the AEW World Title in a stadium in his home country. The back-and-forth gives way to MJF getting control, working the arm extensively to warm Ospreay up for the Salt of the Earth. However, an appearance by Adam Cole gives an unknowing Ospreay the opportunity to turn the tables with a handstand reversal to a Heatseeker, following it with a Hidden Blade for two. Ospreay considers working on the shoulder, MJF crying out in agony with each blow to the surgically repaired joint, and eventually, Will has him in perfect position for the Storm Driver 93. He knows MJF’s neck and shoulder are in such a state that this would be an automatic victory, but he hesitates just long enough for MJF to roll him up… ONE! TWO! THRE-KICKOUT! MJF grabs the arm to go for a Salt of the Earth, Ospreay rolling him back into a pin of his own, followed by another HIDDEN BLADE! STORMBREAKER! ONE! TWO! THREE! OSPREAY’S GOING TO WEMBLEY!
Will Ospreay def. MJF (31:02) to win the Owen Hart Foundation Tournament
Out comes Swerve, standing toe to toe with his challenger as confetti falls around them. Ospreay leans on his trophy, grabbing a microphone as it becomes rapidly apparent his confidence is back. He says that All In is on the horizon, and last time AEW was at Wembley Stadium, he won as an outsider… yet Swerve lost. Now, Ospreay’s in AEW full time, mowing through all the competition, and now it’s time that the Kingpin get a shot at the crown. Swerve chuckles before his smile turns into a sneer, growling under his breath that Ospreay will have to kill him to take the AEW Title away - and he’s seen that despite being called the Assassin, he can’t do that.
The next week on Dynamite, Ospreay and Swerve are scheduled for a face to face promo in the ring, the title match official for All In. It’s electric as they stand opposite one another in the squared circle, trading some quick verbal barbs that they both brush off before getting down to brass tacks, Swerve holding the microphone and beginning to speak.
“Will, you’re impressive, man. You can be as athletic as the day is long, but it’s not ‘heavy is the body that wears the crown,’ it’s ‘heavy is the head,’ and there ain’t nobody like me. This is a mental game, and you don’t have what it takes there. You blew yourself up and broke your own neck when you went for the IWGP Title. You were betrayed by the Don Callis Family and somehow didn’t see it coming. You were beaten on your home turf by your sworn enemy because you got in your own head. You had the win of a lifetime against Bryan, and then you felt so bad about it that you neutered your arsenal. You don’t have what it takes… in your head or in your guts. There’s only one head fit for this crown, and it’s mine.”
Ospreay scoffs, trying to keep his cool, but he doesn’t wait long before grabbing the microphone out of Swerve’s hand to an “oooh,” from the crowd.
“Ain’t nobody like you, bruv? How dare you talk down to me. How dare you condescend me, belittle me, you arrogant bastard? I came here to AEW and started taking heads, just like I did in Japan, and there were people there just like you. People who said ‘ah, he’s not got it in him to be the next big gaijin. He’ll never be the champion,’ and now there’s you, saying I don’t have what it takes because I don’t have the mentality. YOU don’t have the mentality to do what I do. To fly from the UK to here twice a week, to raise a family, to spend a whole career an ocean away from home, to wear the crown on your head that says you’re the greatest wrestler on Earth. Nobody’s done that but ME, and when that championship’s fastened around my waist, mate, it’s going to prove what everyone already knows - that Will Ospreay’s on another level, and Swerve Strickland… he’s punching up.”
Now it’s Strickland’s turn to try and keep a lid on his anger, stepping toe to toe with his challenger and holding the title inches from his face. He tells Ospreay to listen close, before saying that the years of hard work Ospreay put in everywhere but home aren’t gonna be enough to help. He’s gonna be in front of his family, he’s gonna be in front of his friends, he’s gonna be in front of his people, and he’s going to let them all down, because he’s an impressive athlete, but he’s not the guy. Finally, Ospreay snaps, throwing a SHORT HEADBUTT, AND NOW BOTH MEN ARE THROWING FISTS! IT’S UTTER BEDLAM! The bell starts ringing to try and encourage them to break it up, but neither man is stepping down now, furiously exchanging blows as security rushes to the ring to divide them. Swerve grabs the championship, hoisting it high as he spits venom at Ospreay, the challenger spewing a string of words that probably won’t make air. They keep trying to break free and take another swing, commentary asking what on Earth they’ll do when they’re finally let loose at Wembley Stadium, pride and the promotion’s top prize on the line.
Swerve Strickland (c) vs. Will Ospreay
All In London
Wembley Stadium is packed to the gills as All In goes on the air, and they’re fit to burst as the first theme they hear is that of the Commonwealth Kingpin. Justin Roberts announces that our opening match is for the AEW World Title, and Ospreay receives plenty of fanfare and fireworks as he makes his way to the ring, looking more motivated than ever. He’s clearly jonesing in the ring, eagerly awaiting Swerve’s arrival as his compatriots cheer him on… and then Chaka Khan hits. Strickland may be in enemy territory, but the crowd can't help but sing. Oozing charisma as he enters the squared circle, the AEW Champion seems more than ready to put the Assassin down, the electric crowd letting both men soak in the moment as the bell rings. HERE WE GO! SWERVE VS. OSPREAY, LIVE FROM WEMBLEY, AEW TITLE ON THE LINE!
AEW World Title: Swerve Strickland (c) vs. Will Ospreay
From the bell, Strickland and Ospreay are exchanging words as they gravitate towards one another, Ospreay calling for a lockup. They settle into a collar and elbow, Ospreay using his size to his advantage to try and muscle Swerve into the ropes, but Strickland reversing the momentum to cinch in a side headlock. Will still drives Swerve into the ropes, eventually breaking free and whipping Strickland across the ring, the champion building up speed as he ducks a clothesline attempt from the challenger and nails a Tijeras to send Ospreay flying. Ospreay’s quickly back up to his feet, Swerve attempting a slip behind for a German Suplex, but Will countering with a headlock takeover, kipping up and throwing a superkick that’s narrowly avoided by Swerve, who drops flat to his back, picking Ospreay’s leg and floating into a handstand to bring Ospreay down with a headscissors. Will kips up once more to break free, Swerve scrambling to stand up before OSPREAY THROWS A HIDDEN BLADE, SWERVE DIVING OUT OF THE WAY AT THE LAST MOMENT BEFORE CATASTROPHE! Strickland quickly pivots as Will looks to get to his feet, attempting a HOUSE CALL, BUT NOW IT’S OSPREAY’S TURN TO DODGE AS BOTH MEN END UP STANDING!
Gritting his teeth, Swerve goes for another lockup with Ospreay, this time quickly kicking him in the gut for a snapmare, cinching in a chinlock to talk some smack. The Aerial Assassin lands a few elbows to the body as he strives to get back to his feet, finally breaking free before being grounded again by a Tijeras from Swerve. Strickland grabs hold of his challenger again, Ospreay furiously backpedaling into the corner to avoid a lifting inverted DDT, only for Swerve to send him through the ropes for a HANGING NECKBREAKER! Ospreay rolls out to the apron instinctively, Swerve kicking out one of his legs and stepping through the middle rope to SLINGSHOT INTO A DDT ON THE APRON, BUT OSPREAY HANDSPRINGS STRAIGHT TO HIS FEET ON THE FLOOR! Strickland gets cocky, thinking he landed the shot, and turns around to see Ospreay charging at his legs. Swerve leaps up, still on the apron as Will overshoots, the champion pivoting for an APRON PUMP KICK, OSPREAY DUCKING IT AND LEAPING BACK ONTO THE APRON! SWERVE TURNS AROUND ONCE AGAIN… AND OSPREAY FLIES IN WITH AN APRON OSCUTTER! Tumbling to the floor, Swerve tries to get to his senses and figure out how he came out on the rough end of the sequence on the apron, but Ospreay gives him no time to think with a ROBINSON SPECIAL OFF THE APRON, STRAIGHT THROUGH THE BACK OF HIS HEAD! He props Swerve against the barricade, chopping him across the chest before scrambling to the top rope for a SKY TWISTER PRESS TO THE OUTSIDE - ONLY FOR SWERVE TO AVOID IT, NAILING OSPREAY WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX ONTO THE FLOOR!
With Ospreay stunned, Strickland slides back in to break the count, measuring his man before effortlessly delivering a FOSBURY FLOP OUT TO RINGSIDE, WIPING OUT THE CHALLENGER! Turning the tables on Ospreay, now it’s Swerve’s turn to lay in some chops against the barricade, only for Will to dump him over the barrier and into the crowd. He follows it up with a hook kick over the guardrail to stagger the champion, running the length of ringside and LAUNCHING HIMSELF STRAIGHT INTO A PUMP KICK FROM THE CHAMPION! Swerve hops up onto the barricade, grabbing hold of Ospreay in a front facelock before MUSCLING HIM UP AND OVER WITH A BRAINBUSTER, OFF OF THE BARRICADE AND RIGHT DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR AT RINGSIDE! He rushes to roll Will back between the ropes, hooking both legs… ONE! TWO! TH-NOOO! Swerve jumps to the middle rope to deliver a diving European Uppercut to the back of the head before Ospreay can quite get to his feet, following it up with a DISCUS LARIAT! The assault on the head is relentless, Swerve looking for a DDT before being driven into the ropes, Will trying to earn a momentary reprieve. Instead, Strickland pummels him with Muay Thai knees to the body, heaving him up for a LIGER BOMB! ONE! TWO! THRE-KICKOUT ONCE MORE! Swerve lets out a frustrated roar, deadlift Ospreay up to attempt another powerbomb, but Ospreay manages to drop to the apron for a gamengiri, followed by a PIP PIP CHEERIO! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Desperate to keep momentum on his side, Ospreay quickly delivers a rolling elbow, following it up with a SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX, BUT SWERVE RIGHT BACK UP TO HIS FEET, NAILING A GERMAN! He swivels around, only to see Ospreay landed on his feet, BOTH MEN THROWING HIGH KICKS BEFORE COLLAPSING TO THE CANVAS!
Wembley rallies behind Ospreay as both men struggle to get to their feet, barely stirring before the challenger begins pounding the mat, leaning back onto his hands for a kip-up before Swerve simply spins to punt him in the face and bring him back to the mat. Strickland rises to his feet, looking for the House Call, but OSPREAY HAS NONE OF IT, CATCHING THE LEG FOR A STYLES CLASH! ONE! TWO! THR-NOO! Following through, Ospreay attempts a Hidden Blade, Swerve ducking it before rushing towards his opponent and INTO A SPANISH FLY FOR A NEARFALL! Ospreay grabs the back of Swerve’s head, paying him back for the focused assault with a flurry of Kawada Kicks to the face, followed by an attempt at a delayed vertical suplex, Strickland floating over and landing on his feet. The champion runs the ropes, Ospreay stopping him in his tracks with a dropsault and an enziguri, continuously building momentum with a STUNDOG MILLIONAIRE TO FINALLY DROP SWERVE TO HIS BACK! Unleashing a war cry, Ospreay has a gleam in his eyes as he looks towards the top turnbuckle, dragging himself through the ropes to the apron before clambering up to the high rent district, turning his back to Swerve for another SKY TWISTER PRESS, SWERVE ONCE AGAIN ROLLING IN TOWARDS THE TURNBUCKLES… BUT OSPREAY ROLLS STRAIGHT THROUGH TO HIS FEET! Strickland flashes his grill to the camera in the corner with a smile, Ospreay looming behind him before BLASTING STRAIGHT THROUGH HIM WITH A HIDDEN BLADE! ONE! TWO! THRE-SWERVE POWERS OUT!
It’s been just over fifteen minutes of insanity as Ospreay smells blood in the water, knowing if he connects with a Stormbreaker, he can wrap this up. However, that certainty would only be cemented if he were to nail a Storm Driver 93, but he refuses to go to such lengths, hooking the arms… BUT SWERVE COUNTERS WITH A BACK BODY DROP, ONLY FOR OSPREAY TO LAND ON HIS FEET! HE BREAKS INTO A SPRINT, REBOUNDING OFF THE ROPES FOR A SPRINGBOARD OSCUTTER - STRAIGHT INTO A HOUSE CALL! SWERVE INTERCEPTED HIM! ONE! TWO! THRE-NOOOO! Strickland can’t believe it, but he’s got Ospreay dead to rights, spinning him around into position for a Tombstone. Strickland looks to the hard cam, a smug sneer on his face as OSPREAY REVERSES WITH A SEGA MEGA DRIVER, SPIKING HIM DOWN ON HIS HEAD! ONE! TWO! THRE-NOOOO! Ospreay is in disbelief, even a tribute to Mad Kurt not being enough to put Swerve down, but he’s staying on the ball as he hooks Swerve’s arms to go for a STORMBREAKER, ONLY FOR SWERVE TO FLOAT OVER FOR A LIFTING INVERTED DDT! Will’s rally wasn’t enough to get him out of trouble, and STRICKLAND FOLLOWS IT UP WITH A SECOND HOUSE CALL! SWERVE IMMEDIATELY ON THE ATTACK ONCE MORE, POSITIONING OSPREAY FOR A JML DRIVER… BUT WILL CLEARS HIS HEAD, COUNTERING WITH A POISON RANA! SWERVE UP TO HIS KNEES, BUT OSPREAY FOLLOWS IT WITH A SPRINGBOARD OSCUTTER! HIDDEN BLADE TO THE BASE OF THE SKULL, AND NOW… STORMBREAKER! ONE! TWO! THREE! WILL OSPREAY IS THE AEW WORLD CHAMPION!
Will Ospreay def. Swerve Strickland (20:10) to win the AEW World Title
Later in the night, Kazuchika Okada defeats Kenny Omega to win their fifth encounter, establishing himself firmly as the Number One Contender to the AEW World Title, giving the new champion only two weeks to prepare to face off with one of his greatest foes - a foe he’s only managed to beat cleanly once, while falling to the Rainmaker eight times.
Road to All Out
Ospreay gets to celebrate on Dynamite, cutting a promo saying he’s geared up to finally put this to bed. He says he’s glad he’s starting his title reign like this, because he’s certain he can beat Okada, and he’ll not have to worry about the spectre looming over him anymore. Every time there was a title on the line, every time the stakes were high, he failed against the Rainmaker - but the stakes were high at Wembley, and he won. He proved Swerve Strickland wrong, and now it’s time to prove Kazuchika Okada wrong. Out steps the Rainmaker, taking the EVP Elevator up onto the stage to say that Ospreay has already proven him wrong; he thought, years ago, that Ospreay was a talent worthy of being in Okada’s stable of CHAOS, and Ospreay proved him wrong when he betrayed his leader, only for Okada to beat the brakes off him at the Tokyo Dome. Okada says that Ospreay should be all too familiar with Okada being the top champion, the Ace, and he plans to finally bring that vision to AEW by restoring the world to its natural order and beating the Aerial Assassin for a ninth time. The Rainmaker’s ego is peaking, having avenged his loss to Kenny Omega just a few days prior, and he says that Omega’s a taller mountain to climb than Ospreay. However, he says he’s sure there’ll be room in the Elite’s ranks for Ospreay, should he come to his senses and want to fall back in line behind the Rainmaker. Ospreay declares that at All Out, he’ll prove to Okada and the world that he’s eclipsed the onetime Ace, while Okada insists that Omega was just the beginning - in just a few days, it’ll be time for the Rainmaker Era to start back up.
All Out
With All In having just occurred recently, All Out is a package deal with the Wembley show, ensuring a huge audience for what’s certain to be an all-timer main event between the Rainmaker and the Assassin. Both men want to walk out with the gold more than anything in the world, making an already personal rivalry all the more exciting as the coin drops for the last match of the night. Okada appears in a new robe, debuted two weeks prior at Wembley, and as he rises from the Elite Elevator, he’s looking more daunting than ever. There’s only one feud the man had ever lost, and he’d just avenged it against Kenny Omega - this is the most dangerous he’s ever been, and as Will Ospreay makes his way to the ring, Okada doesn’t even turn to face him. The champion is furious, but the challenger sees him as a formality standing between him and another epic World Title reign, refusing to even acknowledge him as they’re both introduced by Justin Roberts. They head to their respective corners, and THE BELL RINGS! IT’S OKADA AND OSPREAY, WORLD TITLE ON THE LINE!
AEW World Title: Will Ospreay (c) vs. Kazuchika Okada
Both men are hesitant to open themselves up to a big counter in the early goings, especially given how well they know each other, so they try and psych each other out a different way - by waiting. The crowd greets them with a deafening reception as they slowly circle the centre of the ring, eventually meeting with a lockup that sees Okada immediately put his height to good use, bearing down on Ospreay with an attempt at a test of strength. He pushes Ospreay down to the mat, even getting his shoulders down for a moment, but the champion bridges up off the canvas. Okada jumps up and drives his legs down into Ospreay’s body, but Ospreay maintains the bridge with both men’s weight, Okada getting back up and shooting for a lateral press that gets a one count. Transitioning into a side headlock, Okada talks some smack, the Young Bucks supporting him at ringside while taunting the champion. However, Ospreay’s put on plenty of muscle mass over the years, making it all the easier for him to slowly make his way to his feet, twisting free and securing a side headlock of his own on the Rainmaker. Okada sends him into the ropes, Ospreay clinging to the top as Okada instinctively goes for a flapjack. Momentarily confused, Okada gives Will the opening to run in for a dropsault, attempting to follow it with an enziguri that’s ducked, Ospreay springing up… and into a flapjack, the inevitability of the Rainmaker’s plans coming to fruition putting the champion in a bad spot early.
Continuing with his somewhat lackadaisical pace, Okada keeps treating Ospreay like he’s not that big of a deal, shoving him into the corner for a double pat on the chest, followed by a stiff forearm across the jaw as the referee steps in. Ospreay lunges at him, Okada grabbing the arm for an Irish Whip into the opposite corner, rushing the champion with a big boot, but Ospreay SLINGSHOTS RIGHT OVER HIM, LANDING ON HIS FEET BEHIND THE RAINMAKER FOR A KICK TO THE HAMSTRING! Ospreay hones in with a swift roundhouse to Okada’s other leg, trying to take out his base, but Okada shrugs it off by catching the leg on a third kick attempt before driving his shoulder straight into the bridge of Ospreay’s nose, following it with a DDT that makes it look like Ospreay just died. The champion goes full scorpion, folding over himself like PAC as Okada grabs hold of the wrist to attempt an early Rainmaker. He gets Ospreay up to his feet, a smirk on his face as he winds him up, but Ospreay cuts through his grip with a sharp elbow before rolling Okada up with a victory roll reversal, straight into a DOUBLE STOMP TO THE GUT! Okada rolls right out of the ring and into the waiting arms of the Elite, Ospreay lining up to try and take him out with a dive before being halted by the Bucks, who leap into the way with their hands up. Ospreay shouts at them to move before going for it anyway, launching himself with a PESCADO, STRAIGHT INTO A BOOT TO THE STOMACH BY THE RAINMAKER! THE BUCKS GAVE HIM TIME TO RECOVER!
Taking advantage immediately, Okada sends Ospreay crashing into the barricade, Ospreay crying out before Okada sends him into the aisle on the crowd side of the barrier. He measures his man as he heads to the opposite end of ringside, the Bucks gassing him up as he takes a running start for a CROSSBODY OVER THE GUARDRAIL, LANDING ON HIS FEET AFTER TAKING OUT THE AERIAL ASSASSIN! Okada dusts himself off, his signature look of superiority clearer than ever as he drags Ospreay back to ringside, laying in a few boots to the body before spitefully laying in another DDT, this time on the floor. He breaks the count before continuing to pummel Ospreay at ringside, the Bucks taunting the champion with each consecutive shot he takes. Okada works over the champion’s neck, digging a knee into the back of it as he postures with his stablemates before securing a waistlock for a GERMAN SUPLEX ON THE FLOOR, BUT OSPREAY FLIPS OUT OF IT! He flings himself at Okada with a Hidden Blade attempt from behind, the seemingly omniscient Okada ducking at just the right moment before throwing a boot - but Ospreay’s just too quick, slipping under it and LAYING IN A HOOK KICK, FOLLOWED BY A BACK SUPLEX ON THE OUTSIDE TO THE RAINMAKER! Ospreay backs the Bucks away, threatening to put their faces through the back of their heads before sliding back into the ring and EFFORTLESSLY SOARING THROUGH THE AIR WITH A SKY TWISTER PRESS TO THE FLOOR! He sends Okada back between the ropes, following him with a PIP PIP CHEERIO, BUT OKADA CUTS HIM OFF AGAIN BY KICKING OUT THE ROPES! Ospreay is left hung up on the top, Okada turning him over for a DRAPING NECKBREAKER OFF THE TOP! ONE! TWO! THR-KICKOUT!
It’s been virtually all Okada thus far, and he continues to methodically wear Ospreay down with a targeted offensive on the neck of the AEW World Champion. Whenever Ospreay tries to get some momentum going, Okada’s able to reverse it, the style Ospreay honed in New Japan having paid dividends against plenty of other AEW talents, but not the man who defined the style for over a decade. Soon enough, Okada looks for the Rainmaker again, and Ospreay finds his opening by reversing it into a SPANISH FLY! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Ospreay looks like a bullet fired from a gun the second Okada’s constant pressure is taken off his shoulders, the champion bolting out to the apron to connect with a PIP PIP CHEERIO, NAILING IT BEFORE OKADA HAS TIME TO REALIZE WHAT HIT HIM! Okada tries to evacuate out the other side of the ring, but Ospreay’s having none of it, grabbing him by the trunks and pulling him back in for a SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX! ONE! TWO! TH-NOOO! Okada sits back up just in time for Ospreay to strike him with a standing round kick to the ear, filling the Rainmaker’s head with cobwebs before flattening him to the canvas with a superkick, finishing the sequence with a RUNNING SHOOTING STAR PRESS! ONE! TWO! THR-ANOTHER KICKOUT, BUT OSPREAY’S FINALLY GOTTEN CONTROL AWAY FROM THE CHALLENGER! With the Chicago crowd rallying behind him, Ospreay struggles to get to his feet, the twenty straight minutes of punishment taking a heavy toll on the champion. However, he’s certainly up before the stunned Okada, with the challenger still attempting to get his wits about him when Ospreay charges with a ROBINSON SPECIAL, STRAIGHT TO THE BASE OF THE SKULL! Okada gets to his feet on instinct alone, the Assassin positioning himself behind his prey and circling him before running the ropes for an OSCUTTER! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOO!
Ospreay unleashes some Kawada Kicks on the challenger, letting out his aggression before lighting him up with a flurry of chops, Okada attempting to stand on business and throw some of his own, only for Ospreay to obliterate him with a superkick. Okada is left leaning on the ropes, Ospreay beckoning him towards the centre of the ring before attempting a SHOTGUN DROPKICK, SENDING HIM STRAIGHT THROUGH TO THE APRON! With Okada prone, Ospreay looks for the OSCUTTER ON THE APRON, BUT OKADA CATCHES HIM IN A STRAITJACKET! He attempts a Straitjacket German Suplex on the apron, Ospreay avoiding catastrophe with a back headbutt to the bridge of the nose, followed by a stiff back elbow to send Okada tumbling to the floor. Ospreay vaults over the ropes to break the count, finding himself in the perfect spot for an old favourite as Okada gets to his feet at the base of the ramp. Measuring his man, Ospreay leaps into motion with a SASUKE SPECIAL, BUT OKADA CATCHES HIM! WHAT STRENGTH FROM THE RAINMAKER, AND NOW… OH MY GOD, A TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER ON THE FLOOR! Okada’s confidence is peaking, the Tombstone on the floor having been a hallmark of so many of his defining victories and none of his defeats. Knowing this, he rolls Ospreay straight back into the ring, the work on the neck having paid dividends as he immediately secures wrist control, hoisting Ospreay up into position for a RAIIIINMAKERRRRRR! HE GOT ALL OF IT! ONE! TWO! THRE-OSPREAY SOMEHOW LIFTS THE SHOULDER UP!
Frustrated, Okada hurls Ospreay’s lifeless corpse into the corner and simply starts stomping a mudhole in his face, grinding his boot into the champion’s features before the referee pulls him away. Okada bickers with the ref as the Bucks sneak up on each side of Ospreay, Will instinctively grabbing a hold of Matthew, who scrambles backwards. However, Will stays latched onto him, forming a fist around Matthew’s tie and being pulled through the ropes… ONLY FOR NICHOLAS TO SUPERKICK OSPREAY STRAIGHT INTO THE RING POST, SPARING HIS OLDER BROTHER! Blood begins to spill from the side of Ospreay’s head, dripping onto the ring post and ring skirt as it becomes clear he hit his head damn hard against the steel. Okada pushes past the referee and continues to beat Ospreay down, relishing each moment of offence as he sends the champion packing to the outside with a petulant boot to the side of the head. He rolls out to the floor, the Bucks handing him a bottle of water to cool himself off with after such a brutal match, and now Okada gets to admire the Elite’s handiwork as crimson teardrops start dotting ringside, a bloody mask obscuring Ospreay’s face. Okada keeps beating ass, commentary noting that this is now the longest we’ve seen these two duke it out for, nearly 40 minutes having elapsed. Excalibur notes Ospreay seems harder than ever to put down, but Okada’s showing the same sort of dominance he has in the past, with Schiavone sounding worried that it might just be a matter of time.
Looking to finally put an end to things, Okada starts raining closed fists on Ospreay’s head wound, hurling him into the timekeeper’s table. Eventually, he lays Ospreay out on it, clambering up with him before flipping off the camera and calling for another Tombstone. He flips Ospreay around… but Ospreay drops to the floor behind him, sweeping out Okada’s legs before nailing a CHEEKY NANDO’S AGAINST THE GUARDRAIL, LEAVING OKADA SPLAYED OUT ON THE TABLE! Ospreay scrambles towards the ring post, blood pouring down onto his chest as he makes the long climb up the turnbuckles for a FROG SPLASH THROUGH THE TABLE, AND THROUGH OKADA! The count was broken by him hitting the top rope, sparing both men the risk of being counted out as they lie their motionless. Chicago wills them to their feet, Ospreay sending Okada back into the ring before using the surge of energy and momentum to get the challenger up for a STORMBREAKER! HE GOT HIM! OSPREAY’S GONNA DO IT! Ospreay leaps atop Okada, grabbing the leg and leaning back into a deep cover, putting all his weight across the challenger’s shoulders… ONE! TWO! THRE-OKADA’S FOOT IS HOVERING OVER THE BOTTOM ROPE, OSPREAY TOO ENTHUSIASTIC WITH HIS PIN! The Bucks look like they’re about to have panic attacks as an exasperated, mentally battered Ospreay fights back tears, a fraction of an inch away from redemption. However, he knows he’s got control, so all he has to do is take this one home.
Both men are in deep waters now, and with both being renowned for their gas tanks, it’s clearly come down to a war of attrition, both men knowing that it’ll all come down to landing the one big move that’ll keep one of them down. They’ve both sustained plenty of damage, but as Ospreay staggers over to the downed Okada, he gets this look in his eyes - the look of a man who has the chance to do the funniest thing ever against a man he resents oh so much. Ospreay grabs Okada’s wrist, the crowd letting out an “oooh” as it becomes clear he’s going for his own parody of the Rainmaker, traditionally a ripcord Spanish Fly. Okada is on dream street as Ospreay positions him, pulling the wrist to whip Okada around… but the Rainmaker is still wise to Ospreay’s moveset, keeping an arm near his side to stop Ospreay from latching on for a Spanish Fly. However, he wasn’t wise enough, Ospreay digging into Kenny Omega’s toolkit with a RAIN TRIGGER, BLINDSIDING OKADA WITH A HUGE HIT HE DIDN’T SEE COMING! Okada falls into the ropes, trying to keep himself upright by keeping a firm grip on the top rope, only to be uprooted by a POISON RANA, OSPREAY SPIKING THE CHALLENGER RIGHT ON HIS HEAD! He stumbles to the corner, Okada looking to find his footing as he gets to his knees… AND EATS A HIDDEN BLADE STRAIGHT TO THE FACE, OSPREAY MOWING STRAIGHT THROUGH HIS CHALLENGER! ONE! TWO! THRE-OKADA GETS THE SHOULDER UP, AND THE GRUELLING BOUT CONTINUES!
Justin Roberts is starting to sound pretty nervous as he makes the 50 minute time call, informing both competitors that there’s only ten minutes left in their longest bout against one another to date. Ospreay crawls towards the ropes, driven by pure determination as he peels off his elbow pad, winding up for the Hidden Blade of a lifetime as Okada slowly starts to stir. Both men have taken each other’s biggest shots, but Okada’s in the champion’s sights now, Ospreay waiting until he’s in the perfect position before CHARGING AT FULL TILT INTO A DROPKICK FROM OKADA! Somehow, Okada’s still got pristine form this late into the match, but there’s no time to linger on his magnificence as he rises to his feet, dazed and confused, in desperate need of a dagger against Ospreay. He leans over to hook Ospreay’s wrist, calling for a second Rainmaker, and now he ripcords him in, ONLY FOR OSPREAY TO BLAST HIM WITH A HIDDEN BLADE TO THE FACE ONCE AGAIN ON THE REBOUND! Okada somehow keeps hold of Ospreay’s wrist, tumbling into the ropes and dragging the champion with him, gritting his teeth and letting out a primal roar before CLOBBERING OSPREAY WITH A SHORT ARM LARIAT, BRINGING THEM BOTH DOWN TO THE MAT! Ospreay gets the slightly better landing tactically, turned completely inside out and managing to drape an arm over… ONE! TWO! THRE-NOO! Okada’s kickout flips Ospreay onto his back, the Rainmaker now making an exhausted pinfall attempt… ONE! TWO! THRE-KICKOUT! WHAT’S IT GOING TO TAKE FOR ONE OF THESE MEN TO STAY DOWN?
Puddles of Ospreay’s blood stain the canvas as both men lie there, the unimaginable exhaustion washing over both of them as they fight to be the first man to a vertical base. Commentary discusses the importance of securing the upper hand at this moment, and somehow, it’s Ospreay who’s up first, although only by a matter of seconds. Okada decks him with a forearm, the Rainmaker doubled over trying to catch his breath, but Ospreay clocks him with one of his own, followed by a ROLLING ELBOW TO DROP OKADA TO A KNEE! Ospreay ponders a moment, considering going for a Storm Driver 93, and as Justin Roberts says there’s five minutes remaining, he goes for it. He hooks Okada’s arms in a butterfly, muscling him up off his feet… but Okada drops down to his knees, Ospreay too exhausted to lift 250 pounds into position if that 250 pounds is still fighting back. The champion knees Okada in the face before going for it again, but this time, Okada shifts his weight back and SWINGS OSPREAY OVER HIS OWN SHOULDER FOR AN AIR RAID CRASH NECKBREAKER! Ospreay goes down like a sack of potatoes, clutching the back of his neck in pure agony, unable to function properly as Okada scrapes him off the canvas and positions him for an EMPHATIC COBRA FLOWSION, DRIVING OSPREAY’S NECK INTO THE MAT ONCE AGAIN WITH A RESOUNDING THUD! The challenger rises to his feet behind his foe… AND SPREADS HIS ARMS, THE CAMERA ZOOMING OUT TO ENCOMPASS THE CHICAGO CROWD! OKADA HITS THE RAINMAKER POSE, AND HE’S READY TO STUNT ON OSPREAY ONCE MORE!
Ospreay’s in the perfect position for the Rainmaker, only a few minutes left on the clock, but both men’s movements have become lethargic and feeble after all they’ve been through. Matthew and Nicholas pound the mat to encourage Okada as he painstakingly leans over to latch on to Ospreay’s wrist, the champion fighting as best he can with a few back elbows, all of which miss the mark. Okada drives a forearm into the back of Ospreay’s neck, dropping him to his knees again before finally heaving him up for the Rainmaker, winding up… AND WHIZZING RIGHT BY OSPREAY, WHO COLLAPSES FROM EXHAUSTION! Okada falls in a heap behind him, but he’s still in better shape than Ospreay with moments remaining. With the last of his adrenaline, Okada scrambles up and picks Ospreay up once more, positioning him for a Rainmaker… BUT OSPREAY DUCKS, THIS TIME BREAKING INTO A SPRINT TO GET OUT OF THE WRISTLOCK! HE BOUNCES OFF THE ROPES, OKADA TOO TIRED TO SPIN AROUND IN TIME, AND NOW OSPREAY NAILS AN UNPROTECTED HIDDEN BLADE TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! He’s got to roll him over, the seconds counting down as Ospreay simply digs his shoulder into the Rainmaker’s arm to slowly turn him onto his back, struggling to hook the leg… ONE! TWO! THRE-KICKOUT! OKADA GOT THE SHOULDER UP! Ospreay can’t believe it, fighting to get his feet under him, frantically attempting to hook Okada’s arms to get him into position for a Storm… ding ding ding.
Will Ospreay and Kazuchika Okada fought to a draw (60:00), for Ospreay to retain the AEW World Title
Road to WrestleDream
With Ospreay having been unable to put away the Rainmaker within an hour, it’s pretty clear that a rematch has to be on the horizon, but the question is where. Both Grand Slam and WrestleDream are coming up, and on Dynamite, Okada lays down the gauntlet for the PPV, saying that he intends to win the AEW Title at a show paying tribute to one of his idols in Antonio Inoki. However, Ospreay’s not off the hook until October just yet - Grand Slam still stands in the way, and a battle between two of his fantastic previous opponents is set to determine his challenger for the event. Those opponents? Swerve Strickland and MJF. In the end, MJF manages to pull out the win, securing a title challenge right next door to his home at Grand Slam. Ospreay walks in insecure, just as he did in the Owen Finals, but this time with good reason - his first title defence was hardly a successful one, and he might not even have the chance to make up for it if he doesn’t manage to put away the longest-reigning AEW World Champion ever, in their home state. The pressure’s on for the Assassin, and with challengers hounding him, all he can do is try and build momentum with wins week over week. He doesn’t bother trying to match MJF on the stick, the next challenger eviscerating the champion with promo after promo until the go-home show, where a fed up Ospreay simply snipes him with a Hidden Blade to cut him off. Grabbing the microphone, Will promises to prove the title belongs around his waist, telling MJF that he wants the same Max who dominated the AEW main event scene for over a year.
(Cont'd in Comments)
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2024.05.29 03:35 AlphaFoxtrot5185 A Dragon's Woes

Ember curled up underneath the bed in the Captain's quarters aboard the *Drakmaw.* The Cat-sized dragon counted the whole seven coins that made up her hoard over and over, while reflecting on the past few weeks.
Ejder had grown more distant, spending most of his time out patrolling on the *Drakwing,* while Ember had remained on Zeroth, in the new airship, the *Drakmaw*. Over that time, she’d revealed a lot more than she intended to.
Nhak, the poor armored ghost, had convinced her to reveal her current situation of being little more than a mana battery to Ejder by now. The Immortal Lady that owned Zeroth had overheard, as did another person she could not remember for the life of her.
She had asked the Immortal Lady about seeing if she had the potential to gain psychic powers. She hasn't gotten a chance to try unlocking them yet.
She sighed.
“Why do I let them see me like that? A dragon isn't supposed to be desperate, or scared. We're powerful creatures! They should all be fearing me! Ejder should bow to me, not drain me!”
“So why am I scared?”
She knew the reason. The prospect of alienating herself from Ejder even more by denying his control terrified her, when she was already neglected like a childhood toy.
She crawled out from under the bed and ventured out into the hallways of the airship. The various crew members and Drakenwardens wandering the halls carefully stepped around her. Even they paid more attention to her than Ejder did.
*”He plays himself to be all high and righteous, but he’s worse than the men he commands.”*
She came to the cafeteria area, and jumped up onto a table next to Aelia, who had adopted the *Drakmaw* as her own vessel, rather than the *Drakwing.*
“Hey, little gal. Nobody to talk to down below?” The Drakenwarden Captain asked.
“Yeah. Things are super serious down there after the whole forest fire incident. I'm afraid that if I say anything slightly out of line, I’ll get kicked across the room. And everyone’s so busy! And then Nhak’s ghost hasn't been around for a while…”
“Well, you might need to get kicked across the room every now and then. It’d be good for you. But, I can tell that now isn’t the time.”
Ember chuckled a little. “Well, there was that one time Talios smited me with his antimagic gauntlet. That’s about as close as I’ve gotten.”
Aelia sighed. “Alright, I’ll cut to the chase. When are you going to tell Ejder?”
“Tell him what?”
“That things need to change. That he needs to stop valuing his own fame and power over your wellbeing. That he needs to slow down. The Drakenwardens were a good idea, but I think he went overboard the moment he bought this second airship, and he’s already considering another.”
Aelia tapped the table with her gauntleted hand. “I don’t mind the ‘Wardens being expanded, but for your sake… If you let Ejder get too far, he’ll be spending so much time managing the Drakenwardens that he doesn’t have time for you.”
“I know, but… I don’t want to make the chasm between us deeper. I know how he’ll react. He’ll say that I need to earn his attention, but then he doesn’t ever give me the chance…”
Aelia picked up the little dragon like a household pet and set her on her shoulder. “Ejder means well. Its just that, for a wizard, he’s dumb as a rock. He’ll learn eventually, when karma catches up to him.”
“What?”
“Oh, come on, you haven’t noticed? How he’s been doing so well lately? Hasn’t lost a fight, hasn’t gotten himself killed, managed to keep that dark thing-”
“The Shepherd.”
“Managed to keep the Shepherd under control… Look at it. Karma is gonna shove its boot up his ass pretty soon, and the two of us get to laugh at him together.”
Ember laughed out loud at that one.
“By the way, I know you don’t want people giving you things for your horde, but… I found this on a mission, looted it from some ruffian in an alleyway. I thought you’d like it.” Aelia pulled out a small scabbard, inlaid with five different gems. Held within was a small dagger, which had a red dragon head for a pommel.
“Oooh…”
“Ejder figured it was something related to Tiamat, so I checked it for curses. None, according to the magic. So, here you go.”
Ember grabbed the scabbard, and looped the straps meant to go on a belt around her shoulders, wearing it like a backpack.
“How does it look?” She asked.Aelia chuckled. “Like you’re about to go sacrifice someone in Tiamat’s name. Just don’t tell Ejder.”
“Ha! Perfect!”
“Alright, now go along. I’ve got to help prepare the *Drakmaw* to travel universes. It’s really stressful on the hull compared to just an inter-planar jump.”
“Alright. Bye.” Ember sat and watched the captain walk away. She dropped down off the table and huddled underneath, listening to the crew moving around, getting ready.
She examined the dagger, with its extremely sharp edge, and beautifully engraved pommel. She then realized something.She hadn’t even made a conscious effort to physically interact with it. It should have gone right through her semicorporeal body. But it didn’t.“Aelia said it wasn’t cursed, but it’s definitely magic in some way.”
That night, Ember had another vision. The same one she’d been having for weeks. She was within a cave, walking toward the back to a nest. Where the nest used to lie, there was nothing but broken eggshells, mangled debris, and the strangled necks of the unborn wyrmlings that had been in the eggs. An overwhelming surge of emotion overcame her, despite having had the dream at least three dozen times. She collapsed to the ground, everything going black.
Then, the scene shifted again. Ember felt held back by chains, forced to watch but not interfere as tiny wyrmlings, barely out of their eggs, were being dragged by leashes and whipped with adamantine chains. She let out a roar that scared the poor wyrmlings, but the human captors were unfazed. Finally, a pair of ballistas were rolled up, and fired bolts right between her ribs and into her lungs.
Then a new scene, where she stood still, being looked down upon by a massive red dragon. It spoke two simple words.
“You disappointment.”
A tail smashed into her skull from the side, and the scene shifted again.
She watched as four other dragons were killed around her, White, green, blue, and then black. She was the fifth to be executed. She blissfully watched this scene, knowing it was at least the least painful of them all. The massive axe came down on her neck, severing her spinal chord.
The scene changed again. There she stood, before the massive 5-headed dragon. Pleading for the goddess’s blessing. Instead, she felt as five different breath weapons turned her to ash all at once.
While these scenes were all the same, this time, she noticed something. A dagger, stuck in the masvvie 5-headed dragon’s front arm. The same one Aelia had given her, but much larger.
Before she could comprehend this, the scene changed again, to yet another dragon, calling her a disappointment. This dragon would also bash her skull in with its tail, but she can practically feel her soul fly out of her body. And then she collided with something.
Ember snapped awake, still under the table in the cafeteria.
“What the…”
She crawled out from under the table, to hear the sounds of crew members rushing around, and messages being magically broadcasted. *”Hmm. Battle must be going on.”*
She jumped into a vent, crawling through until she found herself back in the captain’s quarters. She found her tiny hoard in disarray, and slid it back into a pile, placing the dagger next to it. She would have to examine the dagger more, and figure out what the battle was about later. But for now, she had too much on her mind.
/uw Just a “quick” little lorepost to summarize some stuff going on behind the scenes, to provide some context for some upcoming loreposts. Not that really anyone is gonna read them, but…
And, note for the Paragons that might be reading, yes, this is a little behind. I started writing this days ago, so, canonically, this takes place right before the Craterus battle.
submitted by AlphaFoxtrot5185 to wizardposting [link] [comments]


2024.05.29 03:21 angelzuzie a year later - remembrance

the morning of
she sat me down at the coffee table - we didn’t have a couch yet. i was in my favorite chair, worn in with blood and breast milk and a creak when you leaned too far back. your sister helped me make coffee. she knew, i didn’t. she told me about the mouse-tails of espresso so i couldn’t hear mom on the phone. the living room was small: is small. the windows all around did nothing for me when i sat down. it was her and me and her and not you.
they told me they were sorry. she couldn’t get the words out of her mouth without a choke - like she was gasping for air, gasping for you. for a moment there was this delicious tightening in my chest; a new feeling, one that i had never experienced before. i thought i had felt every emotion under the sun. i focused on that tightness until we talked about where your skin and eyes and car would go. i didn’t like the tightness after that.
only one person can cry in a room at a time.
the week after
there is this sickly feeling that passes around an empty half-renovated house. a feeling as though there is something that is not there yet, hasn’t arrived. the couch isn’t coming and you’re not coming either. we took the rug out.
i screamed and screamed and screamed until we had to put a note on our door. i screamed so loudly that my pillow will never know silence again: forever ringing with that need. my bedspread will not forget the touch of your badly developed childhood photos: ones of you with cars, with friends, with planes. i tried to sort them into some sort of order but your face started to blur together into something i didn’t recognize.
we had to buy food. i bought eight cans of campbell’s chicken and stars. i only ate chicken and stars for three days. i used the microwave that you hadn’t gotten to touch yet. i cried and screamed and grabbed at my chest like i wanted to reach in and pull you out of it: give something of myself to get you back. at that point it didn’t matter. i was a child without a father because a father is not ashes in a box.
we changed the entire apartment. we got rid of the chairs that had your dent in their seat, not out of grief but out of simplicity. they didn’t match the color scheme. if i had to sit in that dent and feel the coldness of the leather without your warmth, then i would have truly known there was nothing left of you. instead, i went for a walk along the lakefront while they carried the chairs out. i couldn’t watch you be taken again.
six months after
i lived in a box in a new city. you moved me into that room, carrying bags up the elevator with me like we were pack mules; tied together by some inexplicable rope named genetics. i limped, you limped, but only i fell. when i packed up that same room, men i didn’t know piled things you’d never touched before into those same bags. i moved 20 blocks north into a place where you had never walked. i sat on a bed in an empty studio wishing i could remember the way your laugh echoed in these types of acoustics.
i put a photo of you on my fridge with cheap tape. waking up the next morning and seeing it on the cold tile sent me into another new feeling. your friends wrote letters. not long ones, just perfunctory to-the-point ‘he’s dead now, here’s what i remember’ letters. letters signed with their official titles and all their degrees just so i wouldn’t forget how important they were in the story that they had never once touched.
i put your old bar glasses above the sink and watched them.
a year later
the tightness is gone. it is replaced by the loss of the tightness. there is nothing tangible now. there is no pain that comes in waves, that puts me on the floor, that reminds me that you were real and i was real and i was your daughter and you loved me.
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2024.05.29 03:16 T-RexRocketship Christening the New R1T on the Black Rock Playa (NV), with some Thoughts on Off-Roading, Adventuring, and Camping

Christening the New R1T on the Black Rock Playa (NV), with some Thoughts on Off-Roading, Adventuring, and Camping
Hello Everyone! We took our new R1T out to the Black Rock Playa (Burning Man location) for Memorial day, and I thought I'd share some thoughts on it's performance over the course of 3 days in a particularly remote location. It'll be a doozy of a writeup, but I'll try to break it down for anyone else that is interested in specifics and is wary of taking a ~$90,000 vehicle off the pavement. For comparison, we've got a Leased 2024 R1T Quad with 21's and the large pack, with just under 1000 miles at the beginning of the trip.
(TL,DR: 90 miles out to the Playa, Napier Bed Tent review, 100 mile excursion, blown tire on a gravel road with repair, solar top-off from RV, then conserve mode 90 miles back)
https://preview.redd.it/quua76zkn93d1.jpg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c410d83a47da8a9a4489792a8bdc1edd240ada6
Getting out there:
We started the weekend on Saturday morning and topped off to 100% (316 miles, All Purpose) at the closest Charger to the Black Rock Desert, which was 90 miles away at the Electrify America in Fernley, NV. After a mostly uneventful drive to the campsite, we posted up and made camp with some family that had brought an RV all decked out with Solar (More on this later...) and numerous other tents/vans. In All Purpose and mostly driving like a grandma, efficiency was about 2.2 M/kWh and we arrived with about 220 miles remaining.
Camping in the Rivian:
We purchased a Napier Backroadz Truck Bed Tent for a previous vehicle last year, and I was eager to see how the smaller version of the tent would fit in the R1T. After searching a few other posts, and measuring everything up. the smallest size of the tent (Compact-Short Bed) fits like a champ. It does take a little bit of finagling, and at the advice of another Redditor, some carabiners to connect some of the straps inside the gear tunnel. But it fit just fine, and with the tailgate down, gave us more than enough length for the tent and to sleep. As it turns out, the R1T bed is exactly the right size to fit a Full or Double size mattress. We decided to go with a 6 inch tri-fold memory foam mattress for comfort instead of an air mattress, but either will fit. The folded mattress takes up exactly half the bed during travel, leaving plenty of room for chairs, coolers, etc. and was fantastic for comfort. It was a little tight in the bed with myself (6'4", 300) my Wife (5'8", 130) and the 90lb chocolate lab, but any combination of the two of us would have been perfectly fine. And even all three was some of the most comfortable car camping I've done.
As it pertains to Camp Mode and Power usage, it took a while for my big wrinkly brain to figure out that Camp Courtesy was the setting that stopped Proximity Lock/Unlock. So for the first 6 or so hours, it would regularly unlock and light up the whole Playa until I finally read the manual and found the Camp Courtesy mode section. After that, it worked like a champ, stayed perfectly level, and lost very little to Vampire Drain. Even with the 6 hour SNAFU, it only lost about 4 miles between Noon Saturday and about 10 A.M. Sunday.
https://preview.redd.it/j442qthqn93d1.jpg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=988aceed69de60853dcf6c9b9b4cc1621d691a36
Off-Road Excursion:
We ended up leaving on Sunday morning to visit Double Hot Springs and Clapper Canyon, about 100 miles round trip back to the campsite. In all my calculating and planning, I wanted to be back at the campsite with about 110 miles remaining to get to the charger in Fernley. I wasn't sure about the efficiency while driving off the pavement and at varying speeds, so I had planned to bail out early if it looked like we weren't going to make it back with at least 110 miles.
Our convoy of 2 Jeeps, a lifted Subaru Baja, and the R1T went bombing across the Playa at about 80 MPH for the first 30 miles to make it to the hot springs. For those that have never been to the Black Rock, it's an expanse of about 1000 square miles of Alkali Desert. Extremely flat, insanely dusty, and not unlike every desolate planet you've ever seen in a science fiction movie. The baked top "Crust" usually cracks under the weight of vehicles and leaves tire tracks all the way across the desert, but the Rivian didn't seem to sink noticeably further than any of the other vehicles. It did suck down some extra juice though, at about 1.8 M/kWh in All Purpose, we arrived on the other side of the playa with about 160 miles. Which means we burnt through about 50 miles of range traveling only 30 miles. But we carried on!
As an aside here, the amount of dust on the Playa is astounding, and the Rivian did an excellent job of keeping as much out as it could. The "Waterproof" compartments (Frunk, Tunnel, Under bed, and Cab) all did a perfect job at keeping the dust out. We kept the newest generation power Tonneau closed with some hope that maybe it would keep some out of the bed, and that was a mistake. The bed was coated with about 1/2 inch of dust, and I later learned the Tonneau was not going to open with all the crap in the slats (more on that later). But for anyone looking at going somewhere super dusty, keep the Tonneau open and put all the stuff you don't want coated in crud in the waterproof compartments.
The next 40ish miles were going to be two-tracker dirt roads. Nothing super difficult, but no faster than about 30 MPH, and most of it less than 20. The Rivian did great! We used All Terrain, and switched a few times between highest and high ride height. Like I said, not Imogene or Rubicon level difficulty, but there were a few places that required some care to not scrape a bumper or ding a door. The approach and departure angles allowed us to traverse a few washes that I would have had to get creative with in a longer truck. The front facing cameras were fantastic to see what was coming without having to guess, although, I don't think I'd do any legitimate Rock Crawling without a spotter just using the cameras. They're decent quality to see where a dip or rock is, but not nearly good enough for me to trust completely on anything gnarly.
We trucked our way along and got some very funny looks from a few other passers-by, keeping up with the two Jeeps just fine. It was as we were beginning to turn the corner on the loop back around to the campsite that things started getting a little worrisome. The road we had intended to take had been completely wiped out by some heavy rain last year, and required a nigh on 20 mile detour to go around. At this point, the range anxiety was not great, and I was coming up with contingencies on how to get home. During this stretch of the excursion, we got about 1.4 M/kWh, which was worse than I had hoped, but about what I expected. The detour led us to a very nicely maintained gravel road, so I was confident that we would be able to get better efficiency than we had been getting, and I ended up putting it into conserve and cruising along at about 40MPH. It was about 30 miles back to camp and 90 back to the charger after that, and the range with Conserve mode showed about 130 miles, which was not exactly ideal, but we could probably squeak back to the charger if nothing changed.
https://preview.redd.it/1ceua0zun93d1.jpg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa68e7d911c9a2fb6e15465bf37f43abdfbfa476
We were in the back of the convoy as we moved along down the gravel road, when a notification popped up on the screen. "Check Tire Pressure", and sure enough, the rear drivers side tire was down at 41PSI and dropping rapidly. We rolled to a stop and hopped out to see what the damage was.
Tire Repair:
Lo, and behold, there was a tear of about 1/4 inch in the crown of the left rear tire. and I could hear and feel the air escaping. Unfortunately, I didn't have a spare tire, but our delivery guy had mentioned that the compressor bag in the gear tunnel door had a repair kit. So I broke out the bag, and followed the instructions on the TireJect kit. It involved removing the valve stem core with the included tool, squeezing in about 10 Oz of the rubbeKevlar mix, then inflating the tire and rolling forward a few feet to coat the inside of the tire. I was wholly unconvinced of this working, because I've had very little luck with similar products in the past, and the hole was fairly significant. But, without much of a choice, and in about 10 minutes, it worked exactly as advertised. We used the on-board compressor to fill up to 48PSI, rolled forward about 20 feet, then topped off the tire again, and it worked like a charm. I cannot express how easy, and how well this product worked. It really saved our bacon, because getting a tow truck out there would have been a nightmare, and leaving to get a new tire wouldn't have been much better. Save for having a spare tire, I couldn't ask for a better solution for when you're 100+ miles from civilization. Props to Rivian for finding this product and including a legitimate lifeline in lieu of a spare. It didn't lose a single PSI during the ensuing dirt road drive nor the 150 mile pavement drive all the way home.
Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch:
We made it back to the campsite with exactly 82 miles. That was in Conserve, driving as gently as possible both for the tire integrity and for range consumption. Unfortunately, the closest charger was exactly 90 miles away. Even in Conserve, we very probably wouldn't make it. Luckily, as part of their retirement plans, my parents are working on their Off-Grid RV and Utility Trailer, complete with a solar array and 11kWh battery. They offered to let us plug into their fully charged solar battery (albeit 110V, 20 Amp) and stay out another unplanned night. From about 6 P.M. to about 10 A.M., the battery (and solar in the morning) charged us up to 110 miles at an average of 1.1 kW. If they had a second inverter hooked up, we would have been able to use the 240 travel charger and drain that battery in about 1.5 hours. But, as it was, we spent another evening out on the Playa and trickle charged the car.
https://preview.redd.it/455nmcxxn93d1.jpg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ca4de257c535cc1c36588029c605807f708d229
The Drive Home:
We left it in Conserve for the 90 mile return trip Monday morning. I had intended to open the Tonneau to let some of the dust blow out of the bed. I blew out the individual slat joints and the track on either side of the bed with a separate compressor , but when I pushed the button to retract the cover, it moved about 6 inches and stopped. Knowing the reputation the old Tonneaus had, I quickly abandoned that idea and waited till we got somewhere I could brush out the excess and clean the tracks more thoroughly.
We rolled into the Electrify America charger in Fernley with 11 miles and 2%, averaging 2.6 M/kWh for the drive. The tire held up beautifully, and we quickly charged up to 80% for the remaining drive home to Reno.
We stopped off at a car wash and spent a great deal of time spraying down the remaining dust, dirt, grime, and bug guts off. After a thorough spraying of the Tonneau slats and rails, it retracted just fine! No issues, no grinding, and cleaned up great. Yet another testament to Rivian's engineers knowing in the re-design when to quit forcing the moving parts.
The Conclusion:
It was a fantastic trip out! We got to explore a great deal of the operating envelope for the R1T. It was a super comfortable drive, both on and off road, and handled most of the trip like a champ! The vehicle itself worked exactly as advertised. The Camp Speaker was fantastic, Camp Mode and Leveling made for a great place to sleep, and the bed tent was a much more affordable way to camp rather than a $2000 dollar Roof Top Tent.
The downfalls were really more issues with the current (Ha!) charging infrastructure, and us pushing the limits of range without making a whole lot of concessions in comfort. We kept the windows down when it was comfortable to do so, but ran the AC for a good chunk of the trip, and could have turned back from the excursion early. The truck did as good as I could have expected, but a Rivian Adventure Network Charger in Gerlach, NV (the closest settlement) would have alleviated almost all of our issues, save the blown tire. Unfortunately, that seems to just be a byproduct of heavy truck+high tire pressure. I'm not convinced the 20" Off-Road tires would have done any better, but maybe a more aggressive tread would have stopped whatever rock punched the hole. In any case, the TireJect kit in conjunction with the onboard compressor worked beautifully and got us all the way back to the RV and then on to the charger and home.
I'm excited to keep adventuring in our truck! I would be ok to head back out to the Black Rock, but keep the excursions out there to a much shorter route. We were lucky to have a 11kWh top-up, but without that, we would very likely have been screwed. For anyone wanting to know how Rivians do off-road, they're fantastic! But keep in mind that the range calculations are estimates, and your efficiency will probably be lower than on the pavement, so build bigger buffers for your range calculations, especially if you're exploring the more remote parts of the world. Thanks for reading this far everyone! Happy Adventuring!
https://preview.redd.it/vxfjgbxzn93d1.jpg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cbad303230ba98f353173e8cb120ad1d55d7754a
submitted by T-RexRocketship to Rivian [link] [comments]


2024.05.29 03:14 redlight886 February 1998 PLAYBOY Interview with Conan O'Brien [additional content]

PLAYBOY Interview With Conan O'Brien Interview by Kevin Cook For Playboy Magazine February 1998
A candid conversation with the preppie prince of "Late Night" about his rocky start, his show's secret one-day cancellation and how David Letterman saved the day.
He was polite. He was funny. He gave us a communicable disease.
At 34 Conan O'Brien is hotter than the fever he was running when we met in his private domain above the "Late Night" sound stage. A gangly freckle-faced ex-high school geek he is "one of TV's hottest properties" according to "People" magazine. The host of "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" has become his generation's king of comedy.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. Congested too, but O'Brien has far more to worry about than his head cold. A perfectionist who broods over one bad minute in an otherwise perfect hour of TV, he worries he might be anhedonic, "I have trouble with success," he says, "I was raised to believe that if something good happens something bad is coming." Sure things look good now "Rolling Stone" calls "Late Night" "the hottest comedy show on TV." Ratings are better than ever, particularly among 18- to 34-year-olds, the viewers advertisers crave.
But O'Brien only works harder. Despite his illness he taped two shows in 26 hours on three hours' sleep. He smoothly interviewed Elton John then burst into coughing fits during commercials. Later in his crammed corner office overlooking Manhattan traffic Conan the Cool gulped Dayquil gel caps. He coughed spewing microbes.
"Sorry, sorry," he said. Of course O'Brien can't complain. He came seriously close to falling to being banished behind the scenes as just another failed talk show host.
At his first "Late Night" press conference he corrected a reporter who called him a relative unknown, "Sir I am a complete unknown," he said. That line got a laugh, but soon O'Brien looked doomed. His September 13, 1993 debut began with O'Brien in his dressing room preparing to hang himself only to be interrupted by the start of his show. Before long his career was hanging by a thread. Ratings were terrible. Critics hated the show. Tom Shales of "The Washington Post" called it as "lifeless and messy as roadkill." Shales said O'Brien should quit.
Network officials held urgent meetings discussing the Conan O'Brien debacle. Should they fire him? How should they explain their mistake?
In the end of course he turned it around. The network hung with him long enough for the ratings to improve and the host of the cooler-than-ever "Late Night" now defines comedy's cutting edge just as Letterman did ten years ago.
Even Shales loves "Late Night" these days. He calls O'Brien's turnaround "one of the most amazing transformations in television history."
O'Brien was born on April 18, 1963 in Brookline, Massachusetts. His father, a doctor, is a professor at Harvard Medical School. His mother, a lawyer, is a partner at an elite Boston Law firm. Conan, the third of six children became a lector at church and a misfit at school. Tall and goofy, bedeviled with acne, he tried to impress girls with jokes. That plan usually bombed, but O'Brien eventually found his niche at Harvard where he won the presidency of the "Harvard Lampoon" in 1983 and again in 1984 - the first two-time "Lampoon" president since humorist Robert Benchley held the honor 85 years ago.
After graduating magna cum laude with a double major in literature and American history he turned pro. Writing for HBO's "Not Necessarily The News." O'Brien was earning $100,000 a year before his 24th birthday. But writing was never enough.
He honed his performance skills with the Groundlings, a Los Angeles improv group. There he worked with his onetime girlfriend Lisa Kudrow, now starring on "Friends." But Conan was not such a standout. In 1988 he landed a job at "Saturday Night Live" - but as a writer, not as on-air talent. In almost four years on the show O'Brien made only fleeting appearances, usually as a crowd member or security guard. His writing was more memorable. He wrote (or co-wrote) Tom hanks' "Mr Short-Term Memory" skits as well as the "pump you up" infosatire of Hanz and Franz and the nude beach sketch in which Matthew Broderick and "SNL" members played nudists admiring one another's penises. With dozens of mentions of the word that hit was the most penis-heavy moment in TV history. It helped O'Brien win an Emmy for comedy writing.
In 1991 he quit "SNL" and moved on to "The Simpsons" where he worked for two years. His urge to perform came out in wall-bouncing antics in writers' meetings. "Conan makes you fall out of your chair" said "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening. O'Brien's yen to act out was so strong that he spurned Fox's reported seven-figure offer to continue as a writer. He was driving for the spotlight.
By then David Letterman had announced he was turning shin - leaving NBC taking his ton-rated act to CBS. Suddenly NBC was up a creek without a host. The network turned to Lorne Michaels, O'Brien's "Saturday Night Live" boss. Michaels enlisted Conan's help in the host search planning to use him in a behind-the-scenes job. But when Garry Shandling, Dana Carvey and almost every other star turned down the chore of following Letterman, Michaels finally listened to Conan's crazy suggestion, "Let me do it!" Michaels persuaded the network to entrust it's 12:30 slot which Letterman had turned into a gold mine to an untested wiseass from Harvard.
O'Brien was working on one of his last "Simpsons" episodes when he got the news. He turned "paler than usual," Groening recalled. The Conan moseyed back to where the other writers were working, "I'll come back with the Homer Simspon joke later. I have to go replace Letterman," he said.
NBC executives now get credit for their foresight during those dark days of 1993 and 1994. They snared the axe and now reap the multimillion-dollar spoils of that decision. In fact, the story is not so simple. We sent Contributing Editor Kevin Cook to unravel the tale of O'Brien's survival, which he tells here for the first time. Cook reports:
"His office is chock-full of significa. There's a three-foot plastic pickle the Letterman staff left behind in 1993 - perhaps to suggest what a predicament he was in. There's a copy of Jack Paar's 'I Kid You Not' and a coffee-table book called 'Saturday Night Live: The First 20 Years.' His bulletin board features letters from fans such as John Watters and Bob Dole and an 8" x 10" glossy of Andy Richter with the inscription: "To Conan - Your bitter jealousy warms my black heart. Love and Kisses Andy."
"Of course it's all for show. From the photos of kitch icons Adam West and Robert Stack to the framed Stan Laurel autograph, from the deathbed painting of Abraham Lincoln, to the ironic star taped to Conan's door - they're all clever signals that tell a visitor how to view the star. Lincoln was his collegiate preoccupation: stardom is his occupation. Somewhere between the two I hoped to find the real O'Brien.
"As a Playboy reader he wanted to give me a better-than-average interview. I wanted something more - a definitive look at the guy who may end up being the Johnny Carson of his generation."
"Here's hoping we succeeded. If not I carried his germs 3000 miles and infected dozens of Californians for no good reason.
O'Brien: Yes, this is how to do a Playboy Interview -- completely tanked on cold medicine. I'll pick it up and read, "Yes, I'm gay."
Playboy: We could talk another time. O'Brien: (coughing) No, it's OK. I memorized Dennis Rodman's answers. Can I use them?
Playboy: You sound really sick. Do you ever take a day off? O'Brien: No. The age of talk show hosts taking days off is over. Johnny Carson could go to Africa when he was the only game in town -- "See you in two weeks!" But nobody does that now. I will give you a million dollars on the first day Jay takes off for illness.
Playboy: Do you ever slow down and enjoy your success? O'Brien: If anything, the pace is picking up. Restaurateurs insist on giving me a table even if I'm only passing by, so I'm eating nine meals a night. Women stop me on the street and hand me their phone numbers.
Playboy: So you have groupies? O'Brien: Oh yes. And other fans. Drifters. Prisoners. Insomniacs. Cab Drivers, who must watch a lot of late night TV, seem to love me lately. They keep saying, "You will not pay, you will not pay, you make me happy!"
Playboy: How happy did your new contract make you? O'Brien: Terrified. The network said, "We're all set for five years." I said, "Shut up, shut up! I can't think that far ahead." Tonight, for instance, I do my jokes, then interview Elton John and Tim Meadows. We finished taping about 6:30. By 6:45 my memory was erased and my only thought was, Tomorrow: John Tesh. And I started to obsess about John Tesh. Sad, don't you think?
Playboy: Not too sad. You got off to a rocky start but now you're so hot that People magazine recently said, "that was then, this is wow." O'Brien: I try not to pay much attention. Since I ignored the critics who said I should shoot myself in the head with a German Luger, it would be cheating to tear out nice reviews now and rub them all over my body, giggling. Though I have thought about it.
Playboy: Tell us about your trademark gag. You interview a photo of Bill Clinton or some other celeb, and a pair of superimposed lips provide outrageous answers. O'Brien: We call it the Clutch Cargo bit, after that terrible old cartoon series. They saved money on animation by superimposing real lips on the cartoons. I wanted to do topical jokes in a cartoony way -- not just Conan doing quips at a desk. TV is visual; I want things to look funny. But we're not Saturday Night Live; we couldn't spend $100,000 on it. Hence, the cheap, cheesy lips, You'd be surprised how many people we fool.
Playboy: Viewers believe that's really the president yelling, "Yee-haw! Who's got a joint?" O'Brien: It's strange. You may know intellectually that Clinton doesn't talk like Foghorn Leghorn. Ninety-eight percent of your brain knows the president wouldn't say, "Whoa Conan get a load of that girl!" But there are a few brain cells that aren't sure. When Bob Dole was running for president we had him doing a past-life regression: "My cave, get away." And then back further, "Must form flippers to crawl on to rocky soil," he says. There may be people out there who believe that Bob Dole was the first amphibian.
Playboy: Do you ever go too far? O'Brien: The fun is in going too far. It's a nice device because you get Bill Clinton to do the nastiest Bill Clinton jokes. We'll have Clinton making fart noises while I say "Sir! Please!"
Playboy: Are you enjoying your job now, with your new success? O'Brien: Well, there are surprises. I hate surprises. Like most comics, I'm a control freak. But I am learning that the show works best when things are out of control. Tonight I ask Elton John if he likes being neighbors with Joan Collins. He says he isn't neighbors with Joan Collins. He lives next door to Tina Turner. So I panic -- huge mistake! But Elton saves the day. "Joan Collins, Tina Turner, it doesn't matter. Either way I could borrow a wig," he says. Huge laugh, all because I fucked up. Later he surprised me by blurting out that he's hung like a horse. The camera cuts to me shaking my head: That crazy Elton. What can I do? Of course, I'm delighted that he went too far.
Playboy: That "What can I do?" look resembles a classic take of Jack Benny's. O'Brien: There's an old saying in literature: "Good poets borrow; great poets steal." I think T.S. Eliot stole it from Ezra Pound. Comics steal, too. Constantly. When I watched Johnny Carson, I noticed that he got a few takes from Benny and Bob Hope. When a comedy writer told me how much Woody Allen had borrowed from Hope, I thought, What? They're nothing alike. Then I went back and watched Son of Paleface, and there's Hope, the nervous city guy backing up on his heels, wringing his hands and saying, "Sorry, I'll just be moving along." Now look at early Woody Allen. You see big authority figures and Woody nervously saying, "Look, I'll just be on my way." Of course Woody made it his own, but he must have watched and loved Bob Hope.
Playboy: Who are your role models? O'Brien: Carson. Woody Allen. SCTV. Peter Sellers. When Peter Sellers died I felt such a loss, thinking, There won't be anymore of that. There's some Steve Martin in my false bravado with female guests: "Why, hel-lo there!" And I won't deny having some Letterman in my bones.
Playboy: You were surprise as Letterman's successor. At first you seemed like the wrong choice. O'Brien: I didn't get ratings. That doesn't mean I didn't get laughs. Yes, I had a giant pompadour and I looked like a rockabilly freak. I was too excited, pushed too hard, and people said, "That guy isn't a polished performer." Fine! But it isn't my goal to be Joe Handsomehead cool, smooth talk show host. Late Night with Conan O'Brien is supposed to be a work in progress, and now that we've had some success there's a danger of our getting too polished and morphing into something smoothly professional. Which would suck.
Do you know why I wanted this show? Because Late Night with David Letterman played with the rules and it looked like fun. Here was a place where people did risky comedy every night for millions of people. We had to keep this thing alive. There should be a place on a big network where people are still messing around.
Playboy: How bad were your early days on the show? O'Brien: Bad. Dave left here under a cloud: his fans and the media were angry with NBC. Then NBC picks a guy with crazy hair and a weird name. And the world says, "Harvard? Those guys are assholes." I sincerely hope that the winter of December 1993, our first winter, was the worst time I will ever have. I'd go out to do the warm up and the back two rows of seats would be empty. That's hard to look at. I would tell a joke and then hear someone whisper, "Who's he? Where's Dave?"
Playboy: You had trouble getting guests. O'Brien: Bob Denver canceled on us. We shot a test show with Al Lewis of The Munsters. We did the clutch cargo thing with a photo of Herman Munster. Unfortunately, Fred Gwynne, who played Herman, had recently died, and Al Lewis kept pointing at the screen, saying, "You're dead! I was at your funeral!"
Playboy: For months you got worried notes from network executives. What did they say? O'Brien: They were worried. The fact that Lorne Michaels was involved bought me some time. But Lorne had turned to me at the start and said, "OK, Conan. What do you want to do?" Now television critics were after me and the network was starting to realize what a risk I was. Suggestions came fast and furious. I kept the note that said, "Why don't you just die?"
Playboy: Did they suggest ways to be funnier? O'Brien: They were more specific and tactical. The network gets very specific data. Say there was a drop in ratings between 12:44 and 12:48 when I was talking to Jon Bon Jovi. I'll be told, "Don't ever talk to him again" Or they'll want me to tease viewers into staying with us: "You should tease that -- say, 'We'll have nudity coming up next!'"
Playboy: You did come close to being cancelled. O'Brien: We were cancelled.
Playboy: Really? You have never admitted that. O'Brien: This is the first time I've talked about it. When I had been on for about a year, there was a meeting at the network. They decided to cancel my show. They said, "It's cancelled." Next day they realized they had nothing to put in the 12:30 slot, so we got a reprieve.
Playboy: Were you worried sick? O'Brien: I went into denial. I tried hard not to think, Yes, I'm bad on the air and my show has none of the things a TV show needs to survive. We had no ratings. No critics in our corner. Advertisers didn't like us. Affiliates wanted to drop us. Sometimes I'd meet a programming director from a local station where we had no rating at all. The guy would show me a printout with no number for Late Night's rating, just a hash mark or pound sign. I didn't dare think about that when I went out to do the show.
Playboy: Are you defending denial? O'Brien: How else does anyone get through a terrible experience? The odds were against me. Rationally, I didn't have much chance. Denial was my only friend. When I look back on the first year, it's like a scene from an old war movie: Ordinary guy gets thrown into combat, somehow beats impossible odds, staggers to safety. His buddy say, "You could have been killed!" The guy stops and thinks. "Could have been killed?" he says. His eyes cross and he faints.
Playboy: How did you dodge the bullet? O'Brien: There were people at NBC who stood up for me. I will always be indebted to Don Ohlmeyer, who stuck to his guns. Don said, "We chose this guy. We should stick with him unless we get a better plan." He was brutally honest. He came to me and said, "Give me about a 15 percent bump in the ratings and you'll stay on the air. If not, we're going to move on."
Playboy: Ohlmeyer started his career in the sports division. O'Brien: Exactly, his take was, "You're on our team." Of course, it wasn't exactly rational of Don to hope I'd be 15 percent funnier. It was like telling a farmer, "It better rain this week or we'll take your farm away."
Playboy: What did you say to Ohlmeyer? O'Brien: There wasn't time. I had to go out and do a monologue. But I will always be indebted to Don because he told me the truth. Wait a minute -- you have tricked me into talking lovingly about an NBC executive. Let me say that there were others who were beneath contempt -- executives who wouldn't know a good show if it swam up their asses and lit a campfire.
Playboy: Finally the ratings went your way. Hard work rewarded? O'Brien: Well, I also paid off the Nielsen people. That was $140,000 well spent.
Playboy: Ohlmeyer plus bribery saved you? O'Brien: There was something else. Just when everyone was kicking the crap out of the show, Letterman defended me.
Playboy: Letterman had signed off on NBC saying, "I don't really know Conan O'Brien, but I heard he killed someone." O'Brien: Then I pick up the paper and he's saying he thinks I am going to make it. "They do some interesting, innovative stuff over there," he says. "I think Conan will prevail." And then he came on as a guest. Remember, this was when we were at our nadir. There was no Machiavellian reason for David Letterman, who at the time was the biggest thing in show business, to be on my show.
Playboy: Why did he do it? O'Brien: I'm still not sure. Maybe out of a sense of honor. Fair play. And it woke me up. It made me think. Hey, we have a real fucking television show here.
Of six or seven pivotal points in my short history here, that was the first and maybe the biggest. I wouldn't be sitting here -- I probably wouldn't even exist today -- if he hadn't done our show.
Playboy: The Late Night wars were hardly noted for friendly gestures. O'Brien: How little you understand. Jay, Dave and I pal around all the time. We often ride a bicycle built for three up to the country. "Nice job with Fran Drescher!" "Thanks, pal. You weren't so bad with John Tesh." We sleep in triple-decker bunk beds and snore in unison like the Three Stooges.
Playboy: You talk more about Letterman than your NBC teammate Leno. O'Brien: I hate the "Leno or Letterman, who's better?" question. I can tell you that Jay has been great to me. He calls me occasionally.
Playboy: To say what? O'Brien: (Doing Leno's voice) "Hey, liked that bit you did last night." Or he'll say he saw we got a good rating. I call him at work, too. It can be a strange conversation because we're so different. Jay, for instance, really loves cars. He's got antique cars with kerosene lanterns, cars that run on peat moss. He'll be telling me about some classic car he has, made entirely of brass and leather, and I'll say, "Yeah, man, I got the Taurus with the vinyl." One thing we have in common is bad guests. There are certain actors, celebrities with nothing to say, who move through the talk show world wreaking havoc. They lay waste to Dave's town and Jay's town, then head my way.
Playboy: You must be getting some good guests. Your ratings have shown a marked improvement. O'Brien: Remember, when you're on at 12:30 the Nielsens are based on 80 people. My ratings drop if one person has a head cold and goes to bed early.
Playboy: Actually, you're seen by about 3 million people a night. Your ratings would be even higher if college dorms weren't excluded from the Nielsens. How many points does that cost you? O'Brien: I told you I'm an idiot. Now I have to do math too?
Playboy: Do you still get suggestions from NBC executives? O'Brien: Not as many. The number of notes you get is inversely proportional to your ratings.
Playboy: What keeps you motivated? O'Brien: Superstition. We have a stagehand, Bobby Bowman, who holds up the curtain when I run out for the monologue. He is the last person I see before the show starts, and I have to make him laugh before I go out. It started with mild jabs: "Bobby, you're drunk again." Bobby laughs, "Heehee."" Then it was, "Still having trouble with the wife, Bobby?" But after hundreds of shows, you find yourself running out of lines. It's gotten to where I do crass things at the last second. I'll put his hand on my ass and yell, "You fucking pervert!" Or drop to my knees and say, "Come on, Bobby, I'll give you a blow job!"
"Ha-ha. Conan, you're crazy," he says. But even that stuff wears off. Soon, I'll be making the writers work late to give me new jokes for Bobby.
Playboy: Did you plan to be a talk show host or did you fall into the job? O'Brien: I was an Irish Catholic kid from St. Ignatius parish in Brookline, outside of Boston. And that meant: Don't call attention to yourself. Don't ask for too much when the pie comes around. Don't get a girl pregnant and fuck up your life.
Playboy: Were you an alter boy? O'Brien: I wanted to be an alter boy, but the priest at St. Ignatius said, "No, no. You're good on your feet, kid," and made me a lector. A scripture reader at Mass. He was the one who spotted my talent.
Playboy: What did you think of sex in those days? O'Brien: I was sexually repressed. At 16 I still thought human reproduction was by mitosis.
Playboy: How did you get over your sexual repression? O'Brien: Who says I got over it? My leg has been jiggling this whole time.
Playboy: What were you like in high school? O'Brien: Like a crane galumphing down the hall. A crane with weird hair, bad skin and Clearasil. Big enough for basketball but lousy at it. My older brothers were better. I would compensate by running around the court doing comedy, saying, "Look out, this player has a drug addiction. He's incredibly egotistical."
I was an asshole at home, too. My little brother Justin loved playing cops and robbers, but I kept tying him up with bureaucratic bullshit. When he'd catch me, I'd say, "I get to call my lawyer." Then it was, "OK, Justin, we're at trial and you've been charged with illegal arrest. Fill out these forms in triplicate." Justin was eight; he hated all the lawsuits and countersuits. He just cried.
Playboy: Were you a class clown? O'Brien: Never. I was never someone who walked into a room full of strangers and started telling jokes. You had to get to know me before I could make you laugh. The same thing happened with Late Night. I needed to get the right rhythm with Andy and Max and the audience.
Playboy: So how did you finally learn about sex? O'Brien: My parents gave me a book, but it was useless. At the crucial moment, all it showed was a man and a woman with the bed covers pulled up to their chins. I tried to find out more from friends, but it didn't help. One childhood friend told me it was like parking a car in a garage. I kept worrying about poisonous fumes. What if the fumes build up? Should you shut off the engine?
Playboy: For all your talk about being repressed, you can be rowdy on the air. O'Brien: The show is my escape valve. When I tear off my shirt and gyrate my pelvis like Robert Plant, feigning orgasm into the microphone, that shows how repressed I am -- a guy who wants to push his sex at the lens but can only do it as a joke.
Playboy: Aren't you tempted to live it up? O'Brien: I always imagined that if I were a TV star I would live the way I pictured Johnny Carson living. Carousing, stepping out of a limo wearing a velvet ascot with a model on my arm. Now that I have the TV show, I drive up to Connecticut on the weekends and tool around in my car. I could probably join a free-sex cult, smoke crack between orgies and drive sports cars into swimming pools, and my Catholic guilt would still be there, throbbing like a toothache. Be careful. If something good happens, something bad is on the way.
Playboy: Yet you don't mind licking the supermodels. O'Brien: At one point a few of them lived in my building, women who are so beautiful they almost look weird, like aliens. To me, a woman who has a certain approachable amount of beauty becomes almost funny. It's the same with male supermodels. They look like big puppets. So while I admire their beauty I probably won't be "romantically linked" with a model. I'd catch my reflection in a ballroom mirror and break up laughing.
Playboy: The horny Roy Orbison growl you use on gorgeous guests sounds real enough -- O'Brien: Oh, I've been doing that shit since high school. It just never worked before.
Playboy: Your father is a doctor, your mother an attorney. What do they think of their son the comedian? O'Brien: My dad was the one who told me denial was a virtue. "Denial is how people get through horrible things," he said. He also cut out a newspaper article in which I said I was making money off something for which I should probably be treated. So true, he thought. But when I got an Emmy for helping write Saturday Night Live, my parents put it on the mantel next to the crucifix. Here's Jesus looking over, saying, "Wow, I saved mankind from sin, but I wish I had an Emmy."
Playboy: Ever been in therapy? O'Brien: Yes. I don't trust it. I have told therapists that I don't particularly want to feel good. "Repression and fear, that's my fuel." But the therapists said that I had nothing to worry about. "Don't worry Conan you will always be plenty fucked up."
Playboy: When a female guest comes out, how do you know whether to shake her hand or kiss her? Is that rehearsed O'Brien: No, and it's awkward. If you go to shake her hand and her head starts coming right at you, you have to change strategy fast. I have thought about using the show to make women kiss me, but that would probably creep out the people at home. I decided not to kiss Elton John.
Playboy: Do you get all fired up if Cindy Crawford or Rebecca Romijn does the show? O'Brien: I like making women laugh. Always have, ever since I discovered you can get girls' attention by acting like an ass. That's one of the joys of the show -- I'm working my eyebrows and going grrr and she's laughing, the audience is laughing. It's all a big put-on and I'm thinking. This is great. Here is a beautiful woman who has no choice but to put up with this shit.
But it's not always put on. Sometimes they flirt back. Sometimes there's a bit of chemistry. That happened with Jennifer Connelly of The Rocketeer.
Playboy: One guest, Jill Hennessy, took off her pants for you. Then you removed yours. Even Penn and Teller took off their pants. O'Brien: Something comes over me. It happened with Rebecca Romijn -- I was practically climbing her. Those are the times when Andy and the audience seem to disappear and it's just me and this lovely woman sitting there flirting. I keep expecting a waiter to say, "More wine, Monsieur?"
Playboy: Would you lick the wine bottle? O'Brien: It's true, there's a lot of licking on the show. I have licked guests. I have licked Andy. Comedy professionals will read this and say, "Great work, Conan. Impressive." But I have learned that if you lick a guest, people laugh. If I pick this shoe off the floor, examine it, Hmmm, and then lick it, people laugh. I learned this lesson on The Simpsons, where I was the writer who was forever trying to entertain the other writers. I still try desperately to make our writers laugh, which is probably a sign of sickness since they work for me now. Licking is one of those things that look funny.
Playboy: Johnny Carson never licked Ed McMahon. O'Brien: We are much more physical and more stupid than the old Tonight Show. Even in our offices before the show there's always some writer acting out a scene crashing his head through my door. A behind-the-scenes look at our show might frighten people.
Playboy: One night you showed a doctored photo of Craig T. Nelson having sex with Jerry Van Dyke. Did they complain about it? O'Brien: I haven't heard from them. Of course I'm blessed not to be a part of the celebrity pond. I have a television show in New York, an NBC outpost. I don't run with or even run into many Hollywood people.
Playboy: You also announced that Tori Spelling has a penis. O'Brien: I did not. Polly the Peacock said that.
Playboy: Another character you use to say the outrageous stuff. O'Brien: Polly is not popular with the network.
Playboy: You mock Fabio, too. O'Brien: If he sues me, it'll be the best thing that ever happened. A publicity bonanza: Courtroom sketches of Fabio with his man-boobs quivering, shaking his fist, and me shouting at him across the courtroom. I'm not afraid of Fabio. He knows where to find me. I'm saying it right here for the record: Fabio, let's get it on.
Playboy: Ever have a run-in with an angry celeb? O'Brien: I did a Kelsey Grammar joke a few years ago, something about his interesting lifestyle, then heard through the network that he was upset. He had appeared on my show and expected some support. At this point my intellect says, "Kelsey Grammar is a public figure. I was in the right." Then I saw him in an airport. Kelsey didn't see me at first: I could have kept walking. But there he was, eating a cruller in the airport lounge. I thought I should go over. I said hello and then said, "Kelsey, I'm sorry if I upset you." And he was glad. He looked relieved. He said, "Oh, that's OK." We both felt better.
....See my other post with the last third of the interview
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