attempting to annotate a work that is partially in spanish, i only have minor understanding of the language and it seems to be written by someone who speaks it as a heritage language, so i'm assuming some words are misspelled and i can't properly deduce what they're meant to be. some of the formatting is also weird. i need help with a few phrases and possible ways to interpret them, doesn't have to be a definitive meaning

1. Con cada cuerpo que estranes mas, este varco se olvido como a nadar.
2. Impeso en la sala de tivrones, un pais escrito con el noche.
3. "donde me perde"
4. Ninos de la tierra quemando-hijas de sangre llamando.
5. Cuantas vidas me vas a pagar… de estos bosques susiou de sangre del aere muerto cicatriz… quando llegara a la ciudad donde tropize… salte veneno en las montanias donde nasi…

Since the Chinese (mandarin) update a couple months ago I've been stagnating big time.
My progress up the tree basically stayed the same however lots of new words and phrases were introduced into previous units.
I've gone through and redone all the units marked as completed (except legendaries as they were already marked as completed).
However, I'm struggling to learn all these new words and I won't let myself move forward in the tree until I master them all. I suppose I should use the hanzi tab a bit more but I find that slow. I also prefer the old challenge modes compared to the new one.
It's pretty frustrating as now I'm only doing a couple practices a day to keep my streak. I've also dropped from diamond league all the way back to ruby league, in part that is because you get less points for doing old units, other reason is I'm just using duo less now.
I'd have rather been pushed all the way back to the beginning to be honest. The course is way different now.
Anywho, I'm just venting here, I wonder if anyone else is stuck in a rut like me?

😂😂😂😩ok , I have to vent - I absolutely despise it when people (BP reps specifically) can’t mirror a broadcast and everything is backwards on a live . I mean how freaking hard is it?? their backdrop advertising words/ phrases are all backwards and when they show the dumb baggies it’s all backwards. It’s my pet peeve . Sorry lol 😂 all done , feel better ✅🥳

Hello all, this might be an extraordinary longshot, but I thought 'nothing ventured, nothing gained.' Back around 1986-1988 I attended a few Circle worship sessions with a Wiccan group in Colorado Springs. I had to move back to Texas in Sept. 1988 for unfortunate reasons and at that time it was extremely difficult to find any Wiccan groups, especially in such a Christian-centric and Conservative state. Recently, I've had some things remind me of how much deep pleasure and joy those sessions meant to me. I'd love to find out if that Circle is still in existence and even try to contact them as I'll be travelling back there in about a week for a vacation.
I would love to at least get a write-up of the ceremony and the words and phrases that the Priestess used during those sessions. I had recognized some of those phrases in a music cd I had found in my collection (Candle Magic by Threefold) and I remembered some of them from those Circle sessions. It brought me such immense joy remembering those times and with the current state of affairs in the U.S.--especially with the continuing loss of Womens' Rights I feel a deepening need to reclaim some joy in my life.
Blessings upon you all, and may you find joy in your lives.

Xenophon, Anabasis 1.8 has this:
Κῦρος δ᾽ ὁρῶν τοὺς Ἕλληνας νικῶντας τὸ καθ᾽ αὑτοὺς καὶ διώκοντας, ἡδόμενος καὶ προσκυνούμενος ἤδη ὡς βασιλεὺς ὑπὸ τῶν ἀμφ᾽ αὐτόν, οὐδ᾽ ὣς ἐξήχθη διώκειν, ἀλλὰ συνεσπειραμένην ἔχων τὴν τῶν σὺν ἑαυτῷ ἑξακοσίων ἱππέων τάξιν ἐπεμελεῖτο ὅ τι ποιήσει βασιλεύς.
I'm confused by the syntax of the final portion in bold. When I first read this, I thought that ὅ was a relative pronoun, but then the case didn't make sense. Then I peeked at a translation and saw that the phrase meant "paid attention to what the king was going to do." So then I guess ὅ is just an article. I started with Homer and am only now trying to learn Attic, so the articles confuse me a lot.
If this is an article, why does it come so early in the word order? Why would the word order not be this? -- ἐπεμελεῖτο τι ποιήσει ὅ βασιλεύς

in my language Pipim, there are suffixes that can be employed to make a verb phrase insulting. the language is spoken by a certain group of faeries in my world that are extremely (racist? sizest? it's less to do with specific races and more just they discriminate against "big folk"....but that's another discussion) so they use the suffix -jak to just add a nice little derogatory flair to their verb phrases.
for example, when spoken to another faerie/fun-sized race, they would say:
omemipat!

 o- mem -i -pat NEG-to.eat-PRES-IMP "don't eat that!" 

but to a more regular-sized being, like a human or elf, they would say:
omemipatijak!

o- mem -i -pati-jak NEG-to.eat-PRES-IMP-???!!! "don't eat that (you big ugly fool)!" 

but of course it isn't a separate word, just a wee morpheme on the verb. what do i call this in my glosses?! i've just been putting "rude" as a placeholder and it looks so...unprofessional. is it technically the same as an honorific even if it doesn't imply any honor? does anyone else have something like this in one of their conlangs? help!!!!!

Welcome to an exciting episode of "Amanda attempts to read The Divine Comedy while stoned on migraine and allergy medications"! We've got enormous candelabra! A griffon! Someone named Matilda!
But first, Statius tells us where babies come from.
Canto XXV
Dante's like "I don't get it, how can the Gluttons starve if they're already dead?" and Virgil's like "I'm gonna let Statius handle this one." And this is where I absolutely fail as a Read Runner, because I didn't understand a word of Statius's reply, even with Ciardi's notes to help me. I think Statius thinks the reproductive system and cardiovascular system are the same thing? I'm going to make a discussion question about this, and hopefully more knowledgeable people can explain.
But wait: I'm not just stupid, I'm also immature, so when this is followed by the Whip of Lust, I spent several minutes giggling over the phrase "Whip of Lust." Anyhow, the Whip of Lust is Mary (who I'm pretty sure has been included in every single one of the Whips) and Diana). I realize that we've seen hundreds of examples so far of Dante combining Christianity with Greek/Roman mythology, but for some reason this specific example amuses me. I'll take "Religious Figures Who Are Famous for Not Having Sex" for $500, Alex.
Canto XXVI
Speaking of unusual Christian/mythological pairings, the Rein of Lust turns out to be Sodom and Gomorrah and that woman from Greek mythology who screwed a bull. I assume this is meant to comfort the souls on this level of Purgatory: No matter how bad your own sins were, hey, at least you aren't world-famous for having a cow fetish.
The Lustful burn. That's not a metaphor: they're literally on fire. They walk through a wall of flame, reciting the Rein and kissing each other. (That's a reference to Romans 16:16, "Salute one another with a holy kiss." Although I'm sure they're all aware of the irony.) Dante runs into fellow poets Guido Guinizelli and Arnaut Daniel and they talk poetry.
Canto XXVII
Dante, Virgil, and Statius have to pass through a wall of fire as a final act of purification. Dante is frightened, but Virgil coaxes him through by reminding him that he'll be reunited with Beatrice soon. Night falls, and Dante dreams of Leah and Rachel. When Dante awakens, Virgil gives his last speech, in which he crowns Dante "lord of yourself."
Canto XXVIII
Dante wanders through the Earthly Paradise at the top of Purgatory. He finds himself at the bank of Lethe, and he sees Matilda on the other side. Dante is confused about how the Earthly Paradise works, and Matilda explains it to him.
Canto XXIX
Dante witnesses the Heavenly Pageant. Look, I need to be honest: I'm getting over a migraine caused by a sinus headache caused by allergies. There is a nonzero chance that I'm hallucinating at this point. But I'm like 99% percent certain that this pageant involves enormous, tree-sized candelabra. The notes in my book tell me there is significant symbolism in this section, but I'm just going to hope that someone in the comment section explains, because I'm an agnostic with a headache.
Canto XXX
We finally meet Beatrice, after having spent this entire book being told how awesome she is. Virgil abruptly vanishes, having fulfilled his purpose. Dante bursts into tears when he realizes this, which causes Beatrice to reprimand him, and even the angels themselves are like "Damn, Beatrice, really?" But Beatrice is like "No, you don't get how much Dante sucks."
Canto XXXI
Again, I am going to blame the migraine/allergies for my complete failure as a Read Runner to understand WTF is going on. Beatrice continues to criticize Dante, and then Matilda makes him drink from Lethe to purge him of his sins (but won't that wipe out his memories?!) and then there's a griffon, which Ciardi says symbolizes Christ, but I'm not willing to rule out the possibility that I hallucinated the griffon.
Canto XXXII
More allegory. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to quote directly from Ciardi instead of trying to explain it myself:

Dante then witnesses an allegorical masque of THE CORRUPTION OF THE CHURCH THROUGH WEALTH. First AN EAGLE (the Roman Empire) attacks the tree and the chariot. Then A FOX (heresy). Then the Eagle returns and covers the chariot with its feathers. Immediately A DRAGON (Satan) rips at the chariot's foundation. The chariot then covers itself with the feathers (riches) and is converted into A MONSTROUS BEAST on which rides A HARLOT (the corrupted Papacy) attended by A GIANT (The French Monarchy) that beats the harlot and drags the monster into the woods and out of sight.

Canto XXXIII
Dante completes his purification. At one point, Beatrice said "God's wrath will not be calmed by soup," and I was like "damn, I actually have gone crazy," but then I saw the note explaining that this is a reference to how you could get away with murder in ancient Greece if you ate soup on your victim's grave for nine days, leading to a tradition in Florence where people guarded the graves of murder victims to prevent soup-eating... actually, yeah, I think I have gone crazy after all.

I dislike whenever people refer to me as a man. But I am totally fine with being called male or a boy or guy. Idk why it just feels like the word "man" carries connotations with being more masculine. You see this in phrases like "he's a man now". To me, it feels like to be a "man" is to adopt the stereotypically masculine gender roles and presentation.
When someone says "man" most people would picture a stereotypically masculine person. As opposed to "male" or "boy" which doesn't immediately imply a heavy sense of masculinity.
Do any other GNC boys feel this way?
​

Hello riot can you help me please, i try to open the riot client to play but it dont work, so, after this i go in the website riot.com and what a surprise when i see this :
PLEASE HELP ME TO RESOLVE IT
Thank you bye

I'm going to tell you the true story of an ordinary man, in his thirties, who didn't have much money and who, in the space of a few months, is going to become a multi-millionaire. This story is mine, but you'll understand that it could easily be yours too!
What's worth my kendu bag on May 7th
To start, I'll tell you directly what's helping me become a bit wealthier day by day: Kendu Inu! I'm French, and I wrote this testimony in all sincerity in French. Everything written is true, and I have nothing to hide. My pseudonym is Lorniko, and I only used Chat GPT to translate this text into English.
I started with crypto in early 2024. More precisely, I received 1 ETH as a gift for Christmas 2023. A close friend helped me out because my financial situation was starting to get complicated. I had just started my first business, and until it could sustain me, I needed to find other sources of income.
This friend isn't just anybody! I won't dox him, but I can tell you he's a king of sniping and has a program to sort and snipe the best crypto projects launching. His success rates are impressive.
He gives me free access to his bot, and I start sniping from January onwards. I make some nice profits (+0.6, +0.8 eth, etc.), but I also make a lot of bad choices and end up losing a lot of money.
I go through calls, good deals that I jeet too early, scams, etc.
Until February 21, 2024!
It was late afternoon, I'll always remember it, my phone rings, another launch that my bot buys. I see it's called Kendu Inu. I think to myself, "Well! I hope this isn't a scam!" I check the Telegram, the contract seems okay... I'll follow the trend and what's being said on the general TG, hoping it's not a scam...
Then I receive a message from my friend who gave me the eth. He forwards me messages he had received. He had been warned that Kendu is a very big project and that you have to hold! Of course, this reassures me, and I follow the trend with more serenity.
With an automatic purchase of 0.1 eth, my bot automatically sells 0.6622 eth (80% of my bag) for me when Kendu pushes me past +900%. I was super happy because my wallet was dangerously close to 0 ETH!
Since I still had 20% at stake on Kendu and I had been warned that it was a serious project, I started listening to all of Miazaki's live streams, following every message sent on the general TG! Then, quite quickly, I began to be convinced by Miazaki's sincerity, by the atmosphere he created in this community. No taboos, no bootlicking, lots of humor, and no "wen"!! I then started to shill with my Twitter account (I had never used Twitter in my life before), started creating memes, and started to enjoy it and improve!
One sell is what I had, the other one was the clog
By not missing a single phrase, breath, or word, I understood that "yes, Kendu is very serious and I need more of it!!" That's when the chart was going down, people were selling because they were impatient, and I decided to buy more Kendu, despite my wallet being at 0.7 eth (Each call by the bot buys 0.1 eth, if a few scams follow, I have nothing left at all).
I felt pressured not to go back to 0 to not disappoint my friend who had given me 1 eth, and if I buy more Kendu and it continues to go down, I risk greatly disappointing him but... I'm convinced, I feel it, Kendu is going to make me rich, very rich!
My wife thinks I have a gift because I often feel things and don't make mistakes. So, I wait for what I judge to be the best possible dip. I wait, finger on the button, for the ideal moment... I see sales, I hope for one last sale... it sells!!! Awesome!! $50k Marketcap, I buy 0.1 eth!!! Kendu never came close to that $50k mc again!
A masterstroke!! But now I have to hold!! Work for Kendu and never, ever crack...
Spoiler alert: I'm writing these lines on May 7, 2024, I've never sold Kendu again, I'm 100% involved, and my Kendu is worth over $120k. I'm still aiming for multi-millions. Story continues in part 2!
Buy like a jeet, hold like a chad, that's my story!

And there was no friend truer.
Title: The Dour Griffin
Author: k1ngfisher
Rating: Mature
Language: English
Length: 60,715 words
Status: Ongoing, Chapters: 16/?
Link: AO3
Tags: Bronze Prince, Faith of the Seven, The Old Gods, Gods of Valyria, Magic and Miracles, Worldbuilding, Andalos, Essos, Faith, Steel, Daemon tries to be a good Dad, No Bashing, despite the premise, Artys is a renaissance prince
Summary:
Ser Artys Royce, the Dour Griffin. Rider of most Noble and Loyal Deathclaw, the first Griffin in millennia's. A true Hugorist knight, an example to all.
He should've never been born. An extra piece in the puzzle that is the universe.
An aberration. An abomination. A dark hope.
A man with no past, or future.
And soon, hopefully, no present.

And there was no friend truer.
Title: The Dour Griffin
Author: k1ngfisher
Rating: Mature
Language: English
Length: 60,715 words
Status: Ongoing, Chapters: 16/?
Link: AO3
Tags: Bronze Prince, Faith of the Seven, The Old Gods, Gods of Valyria, Magic and Miracles, Worldbuilding, Andalos, Essos, Faith, Steel, Daemon tries to be a good Dad, No Bashing, despite the premise, Artys is a renaissance prince
Summary:
Ser Artys Royce, the Dour Griffin. Rider of most Noble and Loyal Deathclaw, the first Griffin in millennia's. A true Hugorist knight, an example to all.
He should've never been born. An extra piece in the puzzle that is the universe.
An aberration. An abomination. A dark hope.
A man with no past, or future.
And soon, hopefully, no present.

1. Choose Your Language: Decide which language you want to learn based on your interests, goals, and practical considerations like where it's spoken or how widely it's used.
2. Set Clear Goals: Determine why you want to learn the language and set specific, achievable goals for yourself. Whether it's for travel, career advancement, or personal enrichment, having clear objectives will help keep you motivated.
3. Find Resources: Explore different language learning resources such as textbooks, online courses, language apps, podcasts, and language exchange websites. Choose resources that suit your learning style and preferences.
4. Start with Basics: Begin by learning the fundamentals of the language, including basic vocabulary, grammar rules, pronunciation, and common phrases. Focus on building a strong foundation before moving on to more complex topics.
5. Practice Regularly: Consistency is key to language learning. Set aside time each day to practice, even if it's just for 15-30 minutes. Practice speaking, listening, reading, and writing to develop all aspects of language proficiency.
6. Immerse Yourself: Surround yourself with the language as much as possible. Watch movies, listen to music, read books, and engage with native speakers if you can. Immersion helps reinforce what you've learned and improves your comprehension skills.
7. Use Flashcards: Create flashcards or use language learning apps to memorize vocabulary and phrases. Review them regularly to reinforce your memory and expand your vocabulary.
8. Speak from Day One: Don't be afraid to start speaking the language from day one, even if you make mistakes. Practice speaking with native speakers, language partners, or even by talking to yourself. Speaking regularly is essential for building fluency and confidence.
9. Keep a Language Journal: Keep a journal to track your progress, jot down new words and phrases, and reflect on your learning journey. Regularly reviewing your journal will help you see how far you've come and identify areas for improvement.
10. Stay Motivated: Stay motivated by celebrating your progress, setting new challenges, and rewarding yourself for reaching milestones. Find ways to make learning fun and enjoyable, whether it's through games, cultural activities, or connecting with other language learners.

Hello!
I’m founder of vaach.org, a website which aims to crowdsource the lexicons of small, underrepresented languages from around the world.
I invite you to contribute your knowledge to our platform. Languages tell stories, and we want to hear yours. Anyone can be a Vaach contributor, and can contribute as much or as little as they would like, so please spread the word!
Getting started with Vaach is simple. You can begin by requesting a new language community be added. After that’s approved, anyone can contribute phrases!
I hope you choose to join our mission of working towards a more linguistically inclusive world.
If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact me.

I applied to for a position at a 5 year old start up out of NYC that focuses on self-help and business. While I wasn't a fit for the role, I was asked to apply to be a contract editor and the process was a bit of a whirlwind. The books they are producing are mostly AI generated, so my role is to provide content, developmental, and copy editing along with fact-checking.
As part of the interview process, I received a chapter of an upcoming book in its raw form and was asked to edit it. There was a ton of all the things we typically see in GenAI-created texts: repetition that required reorganization , overly used words and phrases, incorrect tone. The project took me about 10 hours. I was compensated $60 for my time.
Today, I received word that they would like to contract with me, but was surprised to see that the actual compensation is $60/chapter. There are several books being written at once, so likely simultaneous projects, but this seems low to me. I have 10 years of experience in editing in education, business, and fiction. However, in those roles, I was either a salaried employee, set my own fee, or was contracted and paid for a certain amount of time, not per project.
Is this fair compensation? What would I be a fair ask for me? This position could turn into a salaried position at the company, and I have seen their salary schedule -- their employees are well-paid. It's also more experience in my portfolio, but I don't want to be taken advantage of.

A poem of lament, in Bak Wayab "language of the cities". (Adapted from Baruch 3:16-19)
Pronunciation is mostly as IPA, except for sh /ʃ/, ch /tʃ/, y /j/, tl /tɬ/, ' /ʔ/, and macrons mark long vowels.
From my 1700s American-inspired fantasy setting Signs in the Wilderness.
Lāsh nakāl ūtsalaw ki baktūyū, tapi machānkuts wāylukā? Lāsh nakāl ta’ay watawankāl kāwabkāl nūnshu ki aykīsh Wa’antlukāl uminchab chāsh ta’ash panchaw talāl; Bawakāl ayla kilkash itapāts tlatlubuts irkiw mabatluwāl. Apatlāw ush nimānmāl umash kitāy il nakābanmāl apāsh.
"Where are the princes and city-kings, lords of all the earth? Where are those who hunted birds and hoarded silver and gold? They hungered for limitless wealth in which men put their trust; They fretted over many schemes but their works leave no trace. They have all gone down to the grave and others have arisen in their stead."

1

Lāsh nakāl ūtsalaw ki baktūyū, tapi machānkuts wāylukā?
"Where are the princes and city-kings, lords of all the earth?"

lā-sh n-ak-āl ūtsal-w ki bak-tūyu-w where-acc loc-stand-3pl prince-exp and city-king-exp 

The verb ak "stand" doesn't normally take an object, but with the applicative prefix n- its object is a location.
The subject is in the experiencer case here, indicating that they're not really doing something on purpose, but that they just happen to be somewhere.

tapi machānku-ts wāyluk-ā all earth-gen lord-3.ess 

Nouns don't have to be marked for number, so wāyluk could be either "lord" or "lords". Here it takes the essive suffix -ā, making it "they who are lords".

2

Lāsh nakāl ta’ay watawankāl kāwabkāl nūnshu ki aykīsh
"Where are those who hunted birds and hoarded silver and gold?"

lā-sh n-ak-āl ta’a-ā-i w-tawan-k-āl where-acc loc-stand-3pl rel-3.ess-agent apass-hunt-past.rem.disco-3pl 

Relative clauses are introduced with the relative pronoun ta'a. Here it's in the agentive case, showing that they are the active subject of the verb in the relative clause.
Tawan "hunt" normally takes an object (specifically a flying thing) but the prefix w- gets rid of the object, making it intransitive. They're not hunting for any specific birds, just generally going about hunting.
The past tense suffix -k is remote (long ago) and discontiguous, meaning that the effects of this action no longer persist in the present day. The birds were once hunted; they are hunted no longer.

k-āwab-k-āl nūn-sh ki aykī-sh and-hoard-past.rem.disco-3pl silver-acc and gold-acc 

The clitic k- attaches to the first word of this next clause, meaning "and". This is used for joining clauses ("they sang and ate") not noun phrases ("I eat chicken and fish").

3

Wa’antlukāl uminchab chāsh ta’ash panchaw talāl;
"They hungered for limitless wealth in which men put their trust;"

wa’an-tlu-k-āl um-inchab chā-sh want-aug-past.rem.disco-3pl without-limit wealth-acc 

Wa'an "want" is made augmentative by -tlu, meaning they wanted very much. This particular verb is only used when the object wanted is something of the useful class, like chā "wealth".

ta’a-sh pancha-w tal-āl rel-acc human-exp rely.on-3pl 

Again, the experiencer case is used to show that the people aren't deliberately relying on wealth, but that they find themselves relying on it without choosing to do so.

4

Bawakāl ayla kilkash itapāts tlatlubuts irkiw mabatluwāl.
"They fretted over many schemes but their works leave no trace."

bawa-k-āl ayla kilka-sh worry.about-past.rem.disco-3pl plural scheme-acc 

While nouns don't have to be marked for number, kilka "scheme" takes the adjective ayla here, showing that the schemes are plural or many in number.

it-ap-ā-ts tlatlu-b-ts irki-w m-aba-tlu-āl but-one-3.ess-gen toil-obj-gen trace-exp neg-remain-aug-3pl 

It- "but" is a clitic like k- "and", joining clauses together.
With the essive suffix ap "one" becomes "they who are these ones". Their toil's traces are the subject of the clause.
When a negative and an augmentative are used together it means "not at all" or "not even a little bit".

5

Apatlāw ush nimānmāl umash kitāy il nakābanmāl apāsh.
"They have all gone down to the grave and others have arisen in their stead."

ap-atl-ā-w ush n-imā-nm-āl uma-sh one-each-3.ess-exp down loc-go-past.rem.contig-3pl grave-acc 

Here imā "go" has a contiguous past suffix, meaning that the effects still remain to this day. They went down to the grave and there they remain.

k-itā-i il n-kāb-nm-āl ap-ā-sh and-other-agent up loc-come-past.rem.contig-3pl one-3.ess-acc 

Again the locative applicative n- is used, meaning that the object of kāb "come" is their location. The others rise up in their location, they arise in their stead.

O.k. I'm attempting to use tsvector for searching private messages (I really don't want to use elasticsearch for this, even though I use it for other stuff).
The snippet of code is my select looks like this:

SELECT blah, blah...where to_tsvector(to_text ' ' from_text ' ' title ' ' body) @@ to_tsquery('" + @q + "') and...blah blah group by blah blah order by blah blah

It works just fine on one word searches with no single/doble quote or special character but complete blows up if I search something like "markdown underline" or "tim's football" (or any phrase with special characters).
How can I search phrases without blowing up postgres?
I've looked into sanitize and place holders (?) but I'm just not getting how it would work with the tsvector stuff.
Anyone have any ideas?
edit: If it's not obvious @q is the phrase being searched

The game showed a very tall, narrow mountain (the left and right edge of the mountain were perfectly vertical). I believe the mountain had photorealistic texture of rock. You competed by several other players to see who would get to the top first. I'm pretty certain you could play against more than just one player at a time.
You had a phrase/word and were told a category. Then you could either choose a letter or try to complete the phrase for more points. If you chose a correct letter, you ascended as many "metres" as the times the letter occured. If you chose a wrong letter, you descended a certain number of steps. If you guessed the whole answer wrong, you fell all the way down.
You had a limited number of "notches" you could place, and after that you would never descend past that point.

TLDR: Big presentation at work, annoying teammate misses the presentation meeting because, in his words, his “zipper got stuck”. His absence is conspicious, and when asked I tell my manager I don’t know why he missed the meeting. Teammate gets chewed out, then angrily messages me, telling me that I should have had his back. Promises to never help me again at work and to take “revenge” in the future when he sees an opportunity.
So, here’s the story. I’m part of a group of employees at my job that all joined at the same time, at the most junior level. We’ve been here for about 2 months, and over the past 3 weeks we got our first assignment of “real work”. We were split up into teams of four, and yesterday was the culmination of the project, where we would present our research and project output to our immediate manager (we can call him Chris).
Of my team of four, three were great. The fourth was someone I was hoping not be paired up with (let’s call him Matt); since the first days at work, he’s come of as overly confident, even arrogant, and has positioned himself as apart from and “better than” the rest of us (based not on anything he’s done, but more family/“pedigree” reasons). Of course, he ended up on my team, and over the course of the past 3 weeks has done very little work. Despite the fact that the rest of us have been spending 12+ hours a day, 6+ days a week on this, he’s mostly been absent; parts of the project he agreed to take on were never finished, forcing us to take them over once they started impeding our work, and when we’re remote, Matt is basically fully MIA (we have a hybrid work setup).
This was, of course, worrying us the entire time; the project was already scary and overwhelming as is, and we work in a fast-paced, high-pressure industry where the expectation is basically perfection. However, the people that succeed in our industry end up in extremely good professional and financial situations, and usually, the ones that succeed do so by being part of teams that saw through intense, “trial by fire”-type projects. This project was not a “trial by fire” type project with real external consequences, but the entire point of the exercises was to prepare us to handle those situations in the near future. As such, our performance on the project has a high potential to affect our perceived “potential” and opportunities for advancement through the ranks.
So, Matt acts like the typical group project slacker for three weeks, but the rest of us pick up the pieces and put together something we’re really proud of. We went on a furious final sprint through the weekend, pulling an all-nighter at one teammate’s apartment, preparing for the Monday morning presentation. On Saturday, Matt came for a couple hours in the afternoon, but left early to go to the gym and get drinks with his college friends. On Sunday, he said he couldn’t make it at all.
The presentation to our manager is first thing Monday morning; Monday is a remote day, so the presentation happens over videoconference. The meeting is at 8AM, I get on 5 minutes early to be the first one there, and at 7:57 I get a DM from Matt on the company chat:

Matt: Hey, I won’t be able to make it. Let me know how it goes
Me: What? Are you ok?
Matt: Yeah, my jacket zipper got stuck. I gotta deal with this
Me: Ok no worries I can buy us a few minutes before we start
Matt: No, it’s gonna take longer. I can’t get my jacket off. Just tell him something
Me: ….dude. Just deal with it after
Matt: I can’t, if I can’t get my jacket off I’ll be distracted and won’t be able to present. I won’t make it. Just make sure Chris knows that I did [reference to a specific section of research]

At this point, I stop responding, because it’s 8AM and Chris (our manager) joins the call 8 on the dot. The rest of us are ready to go, so I get into it. I tell him that we’ve worked hard and we’re ready to show him what we got. Of course, his first question is, “Where the fuck is Matt?”
Now, I’m still in mild shock that Matt told me he couldn’t make it because of a zipper, so I stammer for a second and just say, “I don’t know, but I don’t think he’s gonna make it. Let's just get started”. Manager does one of those eyebrows up, exhaling through the teeth moves, then tells us to get started.
In the end, the presentation goes about as well as hoped, and we didn’t miss a beat - because of course Matt hadn’t contributed much in the first place. We got some positive, and some negative, feedback, but Chris didn’t tear us apart, which in this industry is about as good of an endorsement as one could get. Afterwards, the the three on our team that attended the meeting get on a call to do a quick debrief, and breathe a huge sigh or relief. Still no word from Matt of course.
I assumed we got through everything fine, and knew that for future projects the teams would be rotated again, so I had thought my stress around Matt was over. Until, about 6 hours later, I get the following messages:

Matt: you fucked up Me: Really? I thought it went well
Matt: Chris asked for a meeting

There were some more messages (not revealed because they get into business specifics), but the extent of it was this: Chris had Matt join a meeting immediately and asked him, “where were you?”. I’m not sure how exactly the call proceeded, but according to Matt he got chewed out: this is a big setback for him, it was his biggest shot at the company so far and he blew it, even threatening his job and position (it’s still kind of a trial phase for us). I won’t pass judgment on if the response was proportionate, except to say that in our industry it’s quite standard for senior managers to rule over their juniors and motivate through fear. Nevertheless, Chris seemed to make it quite clear to Matt that he fucked up badly.
And now, Matt thinks it’s my fault. According to him, I should have come up with something; a family emergency, sudden illness, or anything that didn’t make him look bad. Never mind the fact that I was already running on two hours sleep and nervous as hell about the presentation; I should have, on 3 minutes’ notice, come up with a lie to our manager that makes Matt look good.
His rationale is that our team needed to stick together, and we need to trust each other, and have each others’ back no matter what. On the surface, I agree, and to be honest, if Matt had been a consistent contributor, maybe I would have been more motivated to help him. But he wasn’t, and at the very last moment I didn’t have the mindset (being laser focused on giving a good presentation) or personal inclination (not really liking him anyway) to do so. Honestly, even if I had wanted to, I don’t even know what I could have come up with; he was absent from the most important meeting in our careers so far.
And, not to mention - a zipper??? I thought he was joking with me at first, and part of me still thinks he was. Either he was hungover or something, knew he wasn’t prepared, or just plain didn’t want to come and thought he could get away with it. I would have been so mortified to tell my boss I’m missing a meeting because of a zipper, that I couldn’t just repeat that excuse back to Chris; instead I had to tell him that I didn’t know. But he couldn’t have come up with a better excuse, something I could have just repeated verbatim? In a way, hIs excuse was so ludicrous, I still almost think he was fucking with me, or testing me in some weird way, if he could use me to cover his tracks in the future.
I asked him again, point blank, and he maintained his story. Funnily enough, he told me that the excuse didn’t really matter, that I should have “had his back” no matter what. He repeated this phrase - “have my back” - a lot. And now, he says, since I didn’t have his back, he won’t have mine. He said he’s gonna make sure he gets “revenge”, and make me look as bad as I made him look, going so far as to say, “in the future, when you need help, I’ll make sure you don’t get it”. And, he’s still around, so he seems intent on keeping the threat alive and hanging over my head.
Either way, I think Matt’s standing in the company is where he deserves to be: he’s been tagged as an ineffective worker and not a team player. I see two things that could actually be happening here: on the off-chance the zipper excuse was real, he let a piece of metal get in the way of a critically important meeting. And if the zipper excuse was a lie, he’s untrustworthy and expects to extract value from his team rather than add value. In either case I don’t think he’s a strong teammate and I don’t want to work with him in the future. But now, I have this looming threat over me, and he’s so adamant that I screwed him over I’m starting to kinda sorta wonder if I did. AITA?