I’m new here, so please forgive if this isn’t the right place for this.
So I just kinda shrug when people ask more specifically about my gender identity. Like “idk I’m just me” (I look very much afab, but once they get to know me, the questions start)
Now, after a talk about desires and sexuality, someone suggested topical androgens for clitoral enlargement, and I rocking with that idea. Thing is, I have no clue how to ask my dr or even which dr you ask about that.
Anyone here able to help?

sorry for the tmi. using a throwaway account bc no way im saying this on my main. ive been growing out my pubic hair for the past few weeks bc ive always been a very "fuck gender roles, bushes are hot" kind of person and while i still think bushes are hot on women oh my godddd i cant take it anymore. my pubes keep getting tangled and snagging on my underwear and they get all knotted and gross whenever i menstruate. even when i trim them, they always fall out and get stuck inside my clit (there are pubes stuck inside my fucking CLITORAL HOOD dear god its so fucking painful) and its like brain surgery trying to get them out. this is a weekly occurrence. im losing my mind
not only THAT, but they scratch up against my labia (minora) and it makes it soo uncomfortable to walk and sit and well do fucking anything. not to mention it makes jacking off so uncomfortable because when theres NOT pubes stuck in my clit, the hair always gets tangled up and i end up pulling something out and eughh im cringing just thinking about it.
im fine with my leg hair. im fine with my armpit hair. goddammit im even fine with my boob hair. but if i have to hear "women shaving their hooha is gross and immatureeee" one more time im going to start clawing at the walls like a chimpanzee. at least in the circles im in (very aware a lot of society doesnt feel this way), shaving body hair is seen as a "wow youre just doing it to be sexy to men" and i can assure you thats NOT why i want to shave. respectfully i am a lesbian i do not give a fuck about what men think about my body.
and the worst part is i cant even SHAVE IT because every fucking time i buy a pack of razors my mom always ends up using them all and its so gross and nasty and i dont want to share my razors with my mother but i literally cant stop her without having one of the most embarrassing conversations of my life. i stopped buying razors because im unemployed and broke and dont have razor money but goddd im willing to sacrifice so much to stop feeling like this. why did i ever stop shaving. im too much of a coward for waxing (tried diy sugar waxing once. i removed a total of 2 hairs), and epillators sound even worse. id try and save for laser hair remover but 1. im 16 id have to ask my mom first and thats ANOTHER conversation i cant have and 2. i am so scared of permanent changes to my body but thats a whole other issue. dear god please drop a pack of razors on my doorstep and dont let my mother find them.
sorry if i sound weird, sorry for all the swearing. i hate this
tl;dr: grew out my bush for feminism. quickly learned there are better ways to be a feminist. can anyone else relate

I need some encouragement here. I just took 10 days of doxi + 1.5g of azi, and 5 days later = metronidazole 2g for a coinfection (gardnerella).
I also took 12 days of polygynax for another coinfection (strep).
Day after Azithromycin, I had a TERRIBLE flare of symptoms. Two days later, ALL my symptoms were GONE... for three days.
For the past few days, they've been back.
I have some urgency to pee, and itching. my main symptom tho is burning on my clitoral hood and outer labia, as well as vaginal opening. My vagina also feels swollen to the touch. No weird or smelly discharge, no lesions or anything I can see.
I'm to retest on Friday to see if there were any changes in my viral load, and then do a TOC EO May.
I've been so hopeful. I've been posting my journey here as it has been happening. I'm taking probiotics, using suppositories and vagitories, including boric acid and baking soda baths. It seemed to be working. I was at 80%. And now, as soon as I'm off antibiotics, I'm bad again.
I'm so scared that means the antibiotics didn't work, or I should have taken more of them. Why would my symptoms come back only a few days later? Wouldn't the progress be slower? Did this bug repopulate overnight?
Are there any stories of people specifically having the BURNING come and go before eventually going away for good?
Is this expected? Normal?
For those of you who had the burn, did you ever have pain free sex again? I hadn't had sex since March 15. I'm in a new relationship. I got this from a ONS early february :(
I'm so scared that my sex life is over for good. I'm only 27...

So, I had a tinder thing on the weekend. I have been talking to this guy for about 2 weeks, with videos rather than messaging. We we’re going to go on a date but instead it ended up being decided that he would come to my house, we’d smoke a little Mary Jane and ‘watch movies’ - sex was obviously implied, and I was excited. But we pretty much got baked right away and straight down to it. Now I don’t know if I’m like old now and sex with random strangers isn’t as appealing to me anymore 🤷‍♀️ or if it was the weed and rushed intensity of it but, I had the craziest thought go through my head. BECAUSE IT WAS AMAZING. He just like took complete control of my body and made me orgasm so hard and quickly too. But he was insatiable, like got off on getting me off which is awesome, but intense. It was constant and very um strong? Like, heavy clitoral stimulation, lots of rubbing and grinding - which I like, and I was like, how did you know that and he was like ‘I pay attention’
As the night went on, I was like “I could die right now, happily.” - that was the thought.
BUT then it transpired into, he’s very good at this, like methodical, calculated almost. Like he does it for a living or something. AND THAT WAS IT - my crazy ass, untrusting, with a hint of trauma brain just started spiralling into a theory that he was a serial killer, that he fucks women into a lulled orgasmic state and then just like chokes them out or something 😅😂😭 like what. the. fuck.
And I laughed and was like yeah, right. The more I think about it the more I think I victimised myself to sabotage a good thing.
BUT THEN he was behaving in a way that started to BACK UP MY TERRIBLE THEROY.
Like, he barely spoke, laughed when I asked him things about himself and gave one word answers. He wouldn’t slow down or stop much. But not like in a pushy or forceful way, more an overly attentive way. I asked him to be a little more gentle and work up to the (very good) intense parts, but he didn’t. So I went quiet (still incredibly stoned) and told him I needed a break - I didn’t feel safe. And so we lay on the couch watching the movie and he asked if I was okay with his hand on my leg, and it was fine and THEN HE CUDDLED ME and I was like this is sweet, but is he comforting me to make me trust him so that we keep going or is he just being a NORMAL NICE GUY?!? But I was already deep in the hole of I’m going to die tonight, he’s too good, too nice. So I asked him to leave, just to know that he would leave. Which he did but…. TOOK THE USED CONDOMS WITH HIM. Like, didn’t put them in the bin, HE TOOK THEM WITH HIM. Like he was removing the evidence. Am I crazy, I feel crazy, but I’m also super intuitive and I have NEVER freaked out like that before. He’s been sweet and patient and said that I didn’t need to be apologetic because something obviously upset me and that’s okay and to ‘let him know when I’m ready’. A regular guy would be like this bitch crazy I’m out right? Do I tell him that I made up in my head that he was a serial killer and that’s why I freaked out? 😂😂😂 Cause I feel like that is the only way to move forward hahaha if I even want to see him again 😅 HELP?

you know what really grinds my gears? how as children we were constantly told “you will understand when you’re older”. will i?? will i mom?? my realization was just when im googling something about my private genital area and im literally here asking myself “what exactly is my clitoral hood?” don’t get my wrong, i know where my clit is but what exact region is my hood? i’m looking at all these google images and i see some paintings that resemble vaginas and it dawns on me. i literally grew up with a vagina on my wall. it’s a painting of a flower but i did research and this artist is inspired by VAGINAS. so i have this memory of the adults in my family coming to the realization of what they are looking at and little kid me is asking what’s going on?? what is the painting?? all i see is a flower? so i’m just brushed off and told i will understand once im older. i grew up always looking at this painting, trying to see what the adults are seeing. well, here i am, 27 years old and i am googling what parts of my vagina are. when my mother could have sat me down and explained what it was. what i had on my own body. to go to the bathroom and take a look because i never had the idea of even actually looking at my genitals until my early 20s.
don’t get me wrong, there are probably some things you could tell a kid they will understand when they’re older or maybe wait a little longer to explain some things when they are older but something like that? kids need to explore their bodies and also know their bodies. but that’s just something that grins my gears. educate your children, please

Maybe a long shot but does anyone have any recommendations for someone who does nonsurgical lysis for clitoral adhesions in or around Arizona?

Hey all. I have vaginismus and in the past, sex was very painful with my husband. It was so bad we took sex off the table as I worked on pelvic floor PT, dilators, and other treatments. I think my tight pelvic muscle have made great progress, no pain with large dilators or during exams anymore! I tried to have sex/ intimacy with my husband but my body does not react at all. Not clitoral stimulation, kissing, or other types of floor play. I literally feel nothing, so we don’t end up having sex for fear it will hurt since I’m dry (lube helps a bit but I need some arousal for sex to work) Does anyone know what to do to help? I know my body is probably afraid due to the previous pain but it just seems completely adverse to getting turned on. I feel like sex won’t hurt anymore but I cannot find out if I don’t get aroused. I’m pretty desperate to get my sex life back - or at least try.

I [F/29] thought I had vulvodynia, turns out it was just being triggered by constipation. Now that I’ve got my motility regulated, I’m noticing all of the pain is coming from my hymenal ring. My vulva is actually not painful at all. It looks red, a big ridgey like, but I don’t see anything resembling Bartholins cyst. It only hurts when provoked/touched and it’s a burning sensation like it’s dry. I also have the burning and pain when I press upward at 12 o’clock, which is why penetration is specifically painful for me. My pelvic floor is actually very relaxed and open, I’ve worked diligently to release those muscles which I’m assuming tightened up due to the vaginal opening pain. But now, with all other symptoms almost gone, it’s just this provoked burning and clitoral hypersensitivity.
What the fuck could this be? I’ve done PFPT, dry needling, steroid injections, estradiol cream, cymbalta.
Background: was on loestrin fe from 13 to 21 (I’m 29 now), fell on my vulva on a metal playground ladder thing when I was 13, history of sexual assault from partners after the pain was already exhibiting itself, clitoral pain didn’t start until 2022, history of constipation (about 10 years, and finally regulated it within the past month). No history of recurring yeast, BV, or UTIs. History of genital herpes, haven’t had an outbreak since 2019.

So, I had my consultation with the Lubos clinic yesterday. I think the wait time was about 6 months but I had to have it rescheduled ,so about 8 months ish. I had my consultation with Dr. Merz. Ideally I would've wanted it with Oliver Markovsky but I figured this would work just as well. Me and my support person are from Denmark so there's roughly a 10-12 hour drive from Denmark to Munich so we turned it into a road trip which was really nice.
We slept at a hotel in Pasing the day before and went to the clinic. It took a second to find the clinic, it's on a corner in the city and looks pretty nice. They got this wood floor and wide stairs with wide steps, overall a nice building. My appointment was at 9am and when we got there we had to fill out some consent forms, you know some basic stuff like that they're allowed to read your medical stuff etc. Around 9:30am I got to talk to the Dr. Merz. Firstly he asked me some basic questions about where i live, if i'm right or left handed, insurance etc. Then showed me this presentation with pictures and went over the basic steps of it all.
Typically the first surgery would consist of making the “Klitpen” as they call it and UL (Similar to metoidioplasty) as well as removing everything inside (hysterectomy, v-nectomy etc.) Altho I don't want v-nectomy or hysto, just ovaries removed. Altho he recommended I get my fallopian tubes removed as well because of cancer risks and such.
Plus/minus fallopian tubes doesn't make a whole lot of difference to me. Then in the second surgery would be where they take the skin graft itself, from the arm (RFF) or thigh (ALT) I asked and they only do those two methods, and yes they only do these two methods. And then he describes something I don't think I've heard before. They’d more or less invert the Klitpen and have it re-emerge higher up than it was previously located.
The doc was impressed at how fast I understood that btw, he said it took him longer to understand how that works, which ofc made me kinda happy ☺️ Ive been researching this stuff for what, almost 4 years at this point. But the best way I can describe it is after the Klitpen has been inverted and re-emerges higher up that's when they connect everything together with the graft as well as UL.
To my understanding doing UL with the klitpen first makes this whole inversion process easier (I think?) When they connect everything they do a nerve hook-up with the clitoral nerve and this other nerve called v. ilioinguinal nerve.
After that the third surgery is glansplasty and scrotoplasty. I asked about VY scrotoplasty vs Bifid and Dr. Merz said they do whichever fits my anatomy best. Basically if they can tell one would work better than the other they'll do whichever is best for the individual. On one hand I really want bifid scrotoplasty but it's also somewhat comforting to know if that wouldn't give me a good outcome that they wouldn't do that just because I said so. But he did say I could make requests, so if I really want bifid they'll see what they can do.
The fourth surgery is the erectile implant, and like Dr. Liedl at Planegg they recommended the pump over the rod but it sounded like they could do either. He also mentioned a Belgian study that showed the pump usually breaks after ~5 years rather than 10 years as they used to think. So it is something I'd need replaced. I asked him loads of questions and I wrote down as much as possible.
I asked about the expected size and he said the graft they take is ~15 cm or 16 cm but that usually most end up with ~12 cm because there's some hormone in the skin that makes it shrink. But he also said cis German men have about 13 cm on average so I wouldn't stand out. In terms of the diameter the expected size is 3,5cm so ~10.9cm circumference.
The waiting time from you show up with the indication letter ( which is all they need to proceed ) is about 6 months. They do accept if someone wanted/could pay out of pocket but but it seemed very much like they'd prefer Insurance. As for costs, I got an email from them a couple hours after leaving the clinic detailing everything in terms of costs. Altho in german ( I'm not that good at German yet so I don't understand it ) but I can read the numbers.
The first surgery aka the Klitpen comes to about €15,5k. The second surgery is €30,7k aka the creation of the phallus itself. the third surgery is €10,5k and the fourth surgery aka the erectile implant is €16,2k. So all costs would be around ~€73k total. I got my support person to translate some of the basics and it says those are the average prices and that it can change based off of the person. So for example if you have complications it can easily get more expensive.
It also said self-paying folks need to have the money up-front for each surgery. So not the full 73k but for each individual surgery. Also that when you don't have insurance certain stuff will be different. I also asked him about UL and grafts and how they usually take some part of the vaginal canal and use it for UL, which he confirmed they did.
But he said if I wanna keep my vaginal canal then they generally wouldn't do that and using the minora instead was fine. He also confirmed that after the surgeries and such penetration might not be possible and that they could do a surgery to try to open it up a bit if that's something I'd want but that even with the surgery to open it up more it's not a guarantee.
In terms of post-OP sensation he said that in the phallus there would always be most sensation where the klitpen was burried. ( we also briefly talked about the term “burried” he thought it sounded so tragic lol ) in terms of where the skin graft, he explained after they've taken the skin from the arm they'll take a strip of skin from the stomach and put over the donor site ( that's what I believe its called anyway)
Then they'll sew stuff together and basically to my understanding you'd loose some belly from it. The scar you'd get from the skin they take from the belly would be a line on the belly in a place where your swim trunks would cover them according to Dr. Merz. Personally I'm okay with that. I've been considering getting a tattoo in that area anyway.
As for recovery time, I didnt get a clear answer cause he said it'd be in the email ( it wasn't ) but from what I remember I think he said you might expect to stay in the hospital for up to a week or two depending on which surgery you get. On one of the slides he showed it said there's about 6-12 months between each surgery ( so if there's 4 surgeries total excluding compilation that means it takes between 2-4 years from first surgery till you're finished )
I also asked about medical tattooing and he said that's not something they do or cover, and he believed insurance wouldn't cover it either. He didn't know any clinics to go to etc. all he could say is that you should probably wait 1-2 years before getting medical tattooing (on your phallus).
Dr. Merz also said they do about 140-150 phalloplasties per year and showed some statistics and damn it looked good. In terms of satisfaction most gave it an 8, 9 or 10 (in that order) and there was no one who gave it a score under 4. In terms of sensation ~40% of people had 20-50% sensation and ~35% had 50% or more.
In terms of satisfaction with orgasm ~30% gave it a 10, ~17% gave it an 8 and ~16% gave it a 9. Very few gave anything below that. In terms of problems with peeing almost 60% never had issues with peeing and less than 15% had occasionally and even less percentage of people had it often.
I think that's all the info. I'll make an edit if there's anything I remember.
After the consultation I only had to pay €50 because I asked for some papers but I don't think the consultation itself cost anything? If it does I haven't been billed yet at least. That's all for now. Hope it's helpful to y'all. I also wrote a post about how it was to go and see Dr. Liedl at Planegg if you wanna read that, link to it here
If there's anything I didn't cover that you'd want to know, feel free to ask, I'll try to answer as well as I can.

So, I had my consultation with the Lubos clinic yesterday. I think the wait time was about 6 months but I had to have it rescheduled ,so about 8 months ish. I had my consultation with Dr. Merz. Ideally I would've wanted it with Oliver Markovsky but I figured this would work just as well. Me and my support person are from Denmark so there's roughly a 10-12 hour drive from Denmark to Munich so we turned it into a road trip which was really nice.
We slept at a hotel in Pasing the day before and went to the clinic. It took a second to find the clinic, it's on a corner in the city and looks pretty nice. They got this wood floor and wide stairs with wide steps, overall a nice building. My appointment was at 9am and when we got there we had to fill out some consent forms, you know some basic stuff like that they're allowed to read your medical stuff etc. Around 9:30am I got to talk to the Dr. Merz. Firstly he asked me some basic questions about where i live, if i'm right or left handed, insurance etc. Then showed me this presentation with pictures and went over the basic steps of it all.
Typically the first surgery would consist of making the “Klitpen” as they call it and UL (Similar to metoidioplasty) as well as removing everything inside (hysterectomy, v-nectomy etc.) Altho I don't want v-nectomy or hysto, just ovaries removed. Altho he recommended I get my fallopian tubes removed as well because of cancer risks and such.
Plus/minus fallopian tubes doesn't make a whole lot of difference to me. Then in the second surgery would be where they take the skin graft itself, from the arm (RFF) or thigh (ALT) I asked and they only do those two methods, and yes they only do these two methods. And then he describes something I don't think I've heard before. They’d more or less invert the Klitpen and have it re-emerge higher up than it was previously located.
The doc was impressed at how fast I understood that btw, he said it took him longer to understand how that works, which ofc made me kinda happy ☺️ Ive been researching this stuff for what, almost 4 years at this point. But the best way I can describe it is after the Klitpen has been inverted and re-emerges higher up that's when they connect everything together with the graft as well as UL.
To my understanding doing UL with the klitpen first makes this whole inversion process easier (I think?) When they connect everything they do a nerve hook-up with the clitoral nerve and this other nerve called v. ilioinguinal nerve.
After that the third surgery is glansplasty and scrotoplasty. I asked about VY scrotoplasty vs Bifid and Dr. Merz said they do whichever fits my anatomy best. Basically if they can tell one would work better than the other they'll do whichever is best for the individual. On one hand I really want bifid scrotoplasty but it's also somewhat comforting to know if that wouldn't give me a good outcome that they wouldn't do that just because I said so. But he did say I could make requests, so if I really want bifid they'll see what they can do.
The fourth surgery is the erectile implant, and like Dr. Liedl at Planegg they recommended the pump over the rod but it sounded like they could do either. He also mentioned a Belgian study that showed the pump usually breaks after ~5 years rather than 10 years as they used to think. So it is something I'd need replaced. I asked him loads of questions and I wrote down as much as possible.
I asked about the expected size and he said the graft they take is ~15 cm or 16 cm but that usually most end up with ~12 cm because there's some hormone in the skin that makes it shrink. But he also said cis German men have about 13 cm on average so I wouldn't stand out. In terms of the diameter the expected size is 3,5cm so ~10.9cm circumference.
The waiting time from you show up with the indication letter ( which is all they need to proceed ) is about 6 months. They do accept if someone wanted/could pay out of pocket but but it seemed very much like they'd prefer Insurance. As for costs, I got an email from them a couple hours after leaving the clinic detailing everything in terms of costs. Altho in german ( I'm not that good at German yet so I don't understand it ) but I can read the numbers.
The first surgery aka the Klitpen comes to about €15,5k. The second surgery is €30,7k aka the creation of the phallus itself. the third surgery is €10,5k and the fourth surgery aka the erectile implant is €16,2k. So all costs would be around ~€73k total. I got my support person to translate some of the basics and it says those are the average prices and that it can change based off of the person. So for example if you have complications it can easily get more expensive.
It also said self-paying folks need to have the money up-front for each surgery. So not the full 73k but for each individual surgery. Also that when you don't have insurance certain stuff will be different. I also asked him about UL and grafts and how they usually take some part of the vaginal canal and use it for UL, which he confirmed they did.
But he said if I wanna keep my vaginal canal then they generally wouldn't do that and using the minora instead was fine. He also confirmed that after the surgeries and such penetration might not be possible and that they could do a surgery to try to open it up a bit if that's something I'd want but that even with the surgery to open it up more it's not a guarantee.
In terms of post-OP sensation he said that in the phallus there would always be most sensation where the klitpen was burried. ( we also briefly talked about the term “burried” he thought it sounded so tragic lol ) in terms of where the skin graft, he explained after they've taken the skin from the arm they'll take a strip of skin from the stomach and put over the donor site ( that's what I believe its called anyway)
Then they'll sew stuff together and basically to my understanding you'd loose some belly from it. The scar you'd get from the skin they take from the belly would be a line on the belly in a place where your swim trunks would cover them according to Dr. Merz. Personally I'm okay with that. I've been considering getting a tattoo in that area anyway.
As for recovery time, I didnt get a clear answer cause he said it'd be in the email ( it wasn't ) but from what I remember I think he said you might expect to stay in the hospital for up to a week or two depending on which surgery you get. On one of the slides he showed it said there's about 6-12 months between each surgery ( so if there's 4 surgeries total excluding compilation that means it takes between 2-4 years from first surgery till you're finished )
I also asked about medical tattooing and he said that's not something they do or cover, and he believed insurance wouldn't cover it either. He didn't know any clinics to go to etc. all he could say is that you should probably wait 1-2 years before getting medical tattooing (on your phallus).
Dr. Merz also said they do about 140-150 phalloplasties per year and showed some statistics and damn it looked good. In terms of satisfaction most gave it an 8, 9 or 10 (in that order) and there was no one who gave it a score under 4. In terms of sensation ~40% of people had 20-50% sensation and ~35% had 50% or more.
In terms of satisfaction with orgasm ~30% gave it a 10, ~17% gave it an 8 and ~16% gave it a 9. Very few gave anything below that. In terms of problems with peeing almost 60% never had issues with peeing and less than 15% had occasionally and even less percentage of people had it often.
I think that's all the info. I'll make an edit if there's anything I remember.
After the consultation I only had to pay €50 because I asked for some papers but I don't think the consultation itself cost anything? If it does I haven't been billed yet at least. That's all for now. Hope it's helpful to y'all. I also wrote a post about how it was to go and see Dr. Liedl at Planegg if you wanna read that, link to it here
If there's anything I didn't cover that you'd want to know, feel free to ask, I'll try to answer as well as I can.

What the fuck? I'm 26F and he's 30M. We met on a dating app and officially started dating 1 month ago. This is my 2nd time staying over at his place for the weekend. Everything up until this morning was normal and fun but now I'm debating ending things for good
Our weekend together was great. He showed me around his city, we went to the museum and park, had good food, cuddles while watching movies, and we had sex. It wasn't our first time having sex so it's an important detail that I brought my vibrator because I felt comfortable to use it during sex. I can only cum via clitoral stimulation and he found my vibrator "hot" when I used it.
So anyways, last night was my last night here. We discussed previously that since he works a half day (home by lunch) I'd stay for a few more hours after and then head home tonight. We went to bed last night and had a normal nights sleep. He gets up early to get ready for work and I make us some breakfast while he's busy. We eat, he goes back to getting ready and I go lay back down on the bed ready to fall back asleep when he leaves.
He comes in the bedroom to grab his bag and say bye and says in a flirty tone "You know you could have woken me up last night" while grinning. I'm confused and say I'm not following what he's talking about. He says he doesn't mind helping me out. Again, I ask him to explain. It takes some back and forth of him being flirty and coy and me being visibly confused for him to actually say what he's talking about. He says he heard me using my vibrator in bed in the middle of the night. I give a nervous laugh because that isn't true and say "Uh dude I think you were dreaming haha I was asleep the whole night". He says "You don't have to be shy about it, I don't mind. Just include me next time ;)". I reply "Seriously, that didn't happen. I was literally asleep so it had to be a dream you had." And he says suuuure sarcastically and flirty still and says "maybe you don't remember". Now I'm getting really annoyed at his insistence that I'm not telling the truth and he's turning it into some sexy game. I say "So you think that in the middle of the night I scooted down the bed (my side was against a wall), grabbed my vibrator, crawled back in the bed and used my vibrator until climax and then put my vibrator up and went back to sleep? How would I possibly think you could sleep through that? Why would i do that?" (BTW I use a Hitachi vibrator so it is not subtle or quiet) He still insists that yes it all happened but we can't finish the conversation because he has to head into work.
This was about an hour ago and I'm still laying in his bed wondering what the fuck. I'm so confused at his behavior. This was clearly a dream he had so his insistence it was real is baffling, his insistence that I'm a liar and refusing to listen to me is frustrating and his insistence in turning the conversation we had about it into something sexy is kinda grossing me out. It felt like he would never let up until I agreed with him it was reality. His insistence it was real no matter what I said and insinuating that I "forgot" feels like gaslighting, or a really bad attempt. Is it?
I'm contemplating heading home before he gets back and breaking things off. We haven't text each other since he left. We had such a good weekend but this left a terrible taste in my mouth. I hate not being heard and feeling like I don't have a voice. Even if he later admits it wasn't real, his behavior this morning was...something else. It was such a weird situation. Am I overreacting for wanting to pull the plug?
UPDATE: I'm home now and let him know the relationship is over. He says I'm just embarrassed I got caught masturbating 🙃 I can't be with someone who refuses to accept reality and not listen to me when I speak. I'm proud of myself for leaving now instead of later. This kind of behavior is something I would have convinced myself wasn't that big a deal and then later on look back and think "Oh so that smaller incident was a warning of what was to come."

Raising a teenage boy can be an exciting and rewarding experience, but it also comes with its fair share of challenges. As parents, we often find ourselves navigating through the hormonal changes, academic pressures, and emotional disconnections that come with the territory. Understanding and addressing these common challenges is crucial in providing the support and guidance our teenage boys need during this crucial phase of their lives. In this blog, we will explore some of the most common challenges parents face when raising teenage boys and provide strategies for effectively navigating these obstacles. Whether you're dealing with mood swings, academic struggles, communication barriers, emotional disconnection, or simply trying to survive the rollercoaster ride of parenting a teenage boy, this survival guide is here to help. So let's dive in and discover how we can navigate the teen years together!

1. Understanding the Hormonal Changes: Dealing with Mood Swings and Unwanted Boners

Navigating the hormonal changes that come with puberty can be a challenging time for both teenagers and their parents. As a parent of a teenage boy, it's important to understand the role of testosterone in the body and how it can affect mood and physical changes.
Testosterone is a crucial sex hormone that plays a role in the development of secondary sexual characteristics, such as body hair growth and muscle mass. It also has an impact on mood and sexual health.
Recognizing the signs of high testosterone levels in people with vulvas can help you understand what your teenager may be going through. Some signs include abnormal body hair growth, increased muscle mass, and irregular periods. It can also affect sexual health, leading to a reduced sex drive, vaginal dryness, and difficulty getting pregnant. Mood changes, such as irritability, anxiety, and depression, can also be a result of high testosterone levels.
If you notice any of these symptoms in your teenager, it's important to consult with a doctor. A doctor can help determine the best course of treatment, which may include medications or lifestyle changes. It's important to emphasize to your teenager that these changes are a normal part of puberty and that seeking help is important for their overall health and well-being.
Additionally, it's important to address common concerns and questions that may arise. Some teenagers may experience acne due to high testosterone levels, while others may notice changes in breast or clitoral size. It's important to reassure your teenager that these changes are normal and that they should feel comfortable discussing any concerns with their doctor.
Parenting teenage boys can be a challenging and sometimes stressful experience, but understanding the hormonal changes they are going through can help you navigate this phase with empathy and support. Encouraging open communication, teaching them to think for themselves, and helping them form their own opinions and values can also be beneficial during this time. Remember to prioritize their sleep, as hormonal changes can affect their sleep patterns, and support their academic success by creating a conducive environment for learning.

2. Balancing Academics and Hobbies: Nurturing Academic Success in Teen Boys

The challenge of balancing academics and hobbies in today's fast-paced world is a common concern for parents of teenage boys. As parents, we want to support our children in exploring their passions and talents, whether it be through acting, sports, or other extracurricular activities. However, the fear often arises that these pursuits might overshadow the importance of academic development.
Striking a balance becomes crucial to ensure that our young talents not only excel in their chosen fields but also receive a well-rounded education that prepares them for a successful future. This is where Schoolio, with its innovative approach to customized learning, plays a pivotal role.
One of the primary reasons parents are turning to Schoolio is its commitment to personalized, flexible learning solutions. The traditional one-size-fits-all education model may not cater to the unique needs and schedules of children engaged in acting and sports. Schoolio's tailored approach allows students to design their academic schedules around their commitments, ensuring they can pursue their passions without compromising on their education.
Flexibility in learning is key to finding the right balance. Schoolio understands that every child is different and requires a personalized learning journey. With customizable curriculum options and flexible schedules, students can maintain a healthy balance between academics and extracurricular activities. Whether your child is preparing for an upcoming play, a sports competition, or simply needs extra time for rehearsals, Schoolio ensures that their education is not sacrificed.
In the next section, we will explore the specific ways in which Schoolio supports students in balancing academics and extracurricular activities. From providing resources for time management to offering support for specialized interests, Schoolio is dedicated to nurturing academic success in teen boys while allowing them to pursue their passions.

3. Communication Strategies: Teaching Teen Boys to Think for Themselves and Form Opinions

Communication Strategies: Teaching Teen Boys to Think for Themselves and Form Opinions
Understanding teenage communication patterns is essential for parents who want to effectively communicate with their teenage boys. Teenagers, in general, have unique communication styles influenced by their peers and the advancements in technology and social media. However, when it comes to teenage boys, there are specific strategies that can help parents navigate the challenges and foster independent thinking and opinion formation.

1. Acknowledge and Validate Emotions: Teenage boys, like all teenagers, experience intense emotions during adolescence. It is important for parents to listen to their sons and accept their feelings, even if they seem overwhelming or irrational. By providing a welcoming space where boys can freely express their emotions, parents can build trust and encourage open communication.
2. Encourage Exploration and Self-Expression: Communication is a powerful tool for teenage boys to learn about themselves and develop their identities. Parents should create a safe environment where boys can explore different methods of self-expression, such as through art, music, or writing. This allows them to develop their unique voices and gain confidence in expressing their thoughts and opinions.
3. Address Peer Influence: Peer pressure and the need for social approval can heavily influence teenage boys' communication habits. Parents should be aware of the impact of peer dynamics and keep the lines of communication open. By understanding their son's social connections, parents can better support him in navigating peer influence while encouraging independent thinking and decision-making.
4. Navigate Technology and Social Media: The influence of technology and social media cannot be ignored in today's digital age. Parents of teenage boys should be proactive in understanding the impact of these platforms on communication patterns and relationships. Setting clear boundaries and guidelines for technology use can help boys develop healthy communication habits and critical thinking skills.

By implementing these communication strategies, parents can not only navigate the challenges of raising teenage boys but also empower them to think for themselves and form their own opinions and values. It is important to remember that this phase of adolescence can be challenging, but with patience, understanding, and effective communication, parents can support their teenage boys in becoming confident and independent individuals.

4. Coping with Emotional Disconnection: Navigating Teen Boys' Shunning of Affection

Ideas for coping when your adult child cuts you out of their life:

1. Allow yourself to grieve: Being cut out of your adult child's life is a shocking loss, and it's important to give yourself permission to grieve. Acknowledge the pain, sadness, and sense of loss that comes with this estrangement.
2. Don't pretend everything is well: It can be tempting to put on a brave face or pretend that the estrangement doesn't affect you, but it's important to be honest with yourself and others about your emotions. Give yourself permission to cry and express your feelings.
3. Seek support: Reach out to others who have experienced similar situations. Connecting with support groups, online communities, or therapy can provide guidance and solace in navigating through this difficult time.
4. Take control of your own life: While you can't control your adult child's behavior, you can make choices about how you respond and move forward. Focus on making sound decisions for yourself and finding ways to live happily and successfully, even in the midst of the estrangement.
5. Adopt coping strategies that work for you: Not every coping strategy will resonate with you, and that's okay. Find what works for you and discard what doesn't. It's important to take control of your own healing process and do what feels right for you.
6. Remember your strength: Going through the pain of an adult child's estrangement can be incredibly difficult, but remember that you have the strength to get through it. Believe in your ability to find acceptance, peace, and happiness in your own life, even if the relationship with your adult child remains strained.

5. Parenting Survival Guide: Handling the Stressful and Challenging Phases of Raising Teenage Boys

Handling the Stressful and Challenging Phases of Raising Teenage Boys
Introduction:
The previous section discussed the author's personal experience with their son's transition into adolescence and the flood of emotions that came with it. In this section, we will delve deeper into the challenging and stressful phases of raising teenage boys and provide practical advice on how to handle them.
Understanding the Negative Stereotypes and Common Behaviors:
Teenagers often get a bad reputation for their rude and self-centered behavior. If you find yourself facing statements like "No, you can't make me" or "Why don't you trust me?", you may be wondering what happened to your once adorable and adoring child. It's important to remember that these behaviors are common during this stage of development and do not necessarily mean you have failed as a parent.
Reassurance for Parents:
Parents may start questioning themselves and wondering if they are becoming redundant in their child's life. However, this is far from the truth. Despite their push for independence, teenagers still need their parents. They need a solid platform from which they can safely explore the world, a moral framework to guide them, and a role model to look up to. Your child needs to know that they matter, are loved, and have someone who has their back when they make mistakes.
The Role of Parents:
As parents, it is crucial to provide support and guidance to your teenage boys during this challenging phase. Although their behavior may be undesirable, it is important to remember that there are reasons behind it. Instead of taking their behavior personally, try to listen and understand their perspective. Teach them that the world does not revolve around them and that their actions have consequences. Encourage them to think for themselves, form their own opinions and values, and make responsible choices.
The Temporary Nature of This Phase:
It is important to recognize that this phase of teenage rebellion and disrespect is usually temporary. While it may feel like an eternity in the moment, most teenagers eventually outgrow these behaviors and mature into responsible adults. It's crucial to maintain open lines of communication, set clear boundaries, and provide a stable and supportive environment for your teenage boys.
Raising teenage boys can be challenging and stressful, but with the right approach and mindset, you can navigate through this phase successfully. Remember that your role as a parent is more important than ever during this time. Stay patient, understanding, and consistent in your approach, and soon enough, you will see your teenage boys grow into confident and responsible young men.

To Sum Things Up

Parenting teenage boys can be a rollercoaster ride filled with challenges, but with understanding and effective strategies, we can navigate these years together. By acknowledging and addressing the hormonal changes, balancing academics and hobbies, improving communication, coping with emotional disconnection, and utilizing a parenting survival guide, we can provide the support and guidance our teenage boys need. Remember, these challenges are a normal part of their development, and by being patient, empathetic, and open-minded, we can help our teenage boys grow into confident, independent, and successful individuals. So let's embrace the journey of raising teenage boys and celebrate the incredible young men they are becoming!Raising a teenage boy can be an exciting and rewarding experience, but it also comes with its fair share of challenges. As parents, we often find ourselves navigating through the hormonal changes, academic pressures, and emotional disconnections that come with the territory. Understanding and addressing these common challenges is crucial in providing the support and guidance our teenage boys need during this crucial phase of their lives. In this blog, we will explore some of the most common challenges parents face when raising teenage boys and provide strategies for effectively navigating these obstacles. Whether you're dealing with mood swings, academic struggles, communication barriers, emotional disconnection, or simply trying to survive the rollercoaster ride of parenting a teenage boy, this survival guide is here to help. So let's dive in and discover how we can navigate the teen years together!

I (f19) have concerns about my vaginal health. My concerns consist of: pain during each intercourse, vaginal odd discharge, clitoral pain and low abdominal pain. I have a total of 5 partners, one of them told me that he’s had dealt with various STIs and this made me think my symptoms might actually correlate with some STI so I made an appointment with a gynaecologist. The staff was so rude and made me feel like absolute crap, they asked inappropriate questions like “are you married?” when I replied with “no” they gave me a judgemental look and said “oh so you’ve had sex before marriage?” After my reply they just stopped interacting properly with me and would not pay attention to my questions. When I asked them whether I could have some other condition rather than STIs they said “you’re taking us time, you’ve came here for a vaginal swab, here’s your swab take it to the lab and have a good day”. I take it to the lab, they had an even worse approach the man taking the swab said “it says ‘to detect STIs’ I don’t get it but you’re a young girl, probably some mistake” I couldn’t even believe some healthcare professional could say that, I replied “yeah it is for that” and he said “but you’re not married and you had sex?” I WAS ASKED AGAIN. Atp I felt exhausted and just nodded, he said it’ll take 3 days to get the result and they might not be correct, because I went on a weekend??
I honestly don’t know what to do, I live in a underdeveloped area so there aren’t any kits I can buy, I don’t wanna go there again and I am so tired of everything.

My boyfriend noticed I had a white bump underneath my clitoral hood on the side of my clitoris about a month ago. I went to the doctor today for a Pap smear and had my doc check this out. It hasn’t changed any since last month I don’t think, it possibly even got smaller. She said she thought it was a flat wart. She didn’t want to freeze it because of its location of how sensitive it would be for me with it being right by my clitoris. She said it should go away on its own and wasn’t a big deal, that about everyone gets one if they know it or not. I’m scared it will get bigger or spread and not go away. What are the chances that it will truly go away? Also, will this spot cause me to have an abnormal Pap smear. I should get results in 2-3 weeks I was told for my Pap smear.

This is kind of long so I’m sorry in advance but I seriously am begging for any support, suggestions, insight, personal experience stories, anything positive.
F26 - I have it all: vestibulodynia, on and off clitoral adhesions, keratin pearls (that have been removed), been thru 2 biopsies to figure out what is going on, 2 clitoral adhesions procedures.
Where I’m at currently: I had a clitoral adhesion procedure performed in February (my second one, first one was good and fixed the problem, second one was traumatizing and excruciating) and nothing has been the same since. My vulva stays in constant pain a burning/achy pain, but also a strange pain like there is weight holding it down, but that happened after the chronic clitoral pain. The top of my clitoris when touched is sensitive and not sensitive pleasure, sensitive hurting. An at the top of the labia minora just under the clitoris there is so much pain to touch. Wearing underwear, clothes, walking, running, sweating, basically anything causes so much pain. And strangely sometimes I can touché the clitoris and whole vulva area and it won’t hurt at all but once done being touched, then it hurts so much after.
My doctor at first thought it was another dermatological problem (because I have several) but it’s not a dermatological problem. I am currently in physical therapy and it doesn’t really cause me any relief.
My doctor is now suggesting PRP and of what I’ve heard and know, that doesn’t even work. I seriously just want to not be in chronic pain anymore. It’s been months and I don’t know what to do. I am positive it is nerve damage/pain which really scares me because how do you fix nerve pain??
Does anyone have any suggestions. I’ve found that laying on my side with a pillow between my legs really does help but I can’t do that all day and even tho it takes away the pain, the pain when touching the clitoris does not go away. I’ve tried creams, icing, stretching. I just want to know/ask if anyone has experienced this and has a solution.
I don’t have LS, I’ve been biopsied for that. I have a very rare type of dermatitis, but this is not a skin issue. I want to have sex again, but can’t because it just triggers so much pain. I just want to get thru the day without having to come home and rip my clothes off grab and ice pack and cry while I lay down just to get thru the rest of the day…

Hello, here is some context
Around April 10, I had symptoms of a yeast infection post-sex. I’ve been with my partner for a couple of months now and I’ve never experienced any breakouts before. On April 12-16 I realized I had 2 canker-sore like sores on my vulva. Exact location would be where the inner labia meets the clitoral hood. Was painful to wipe but honestly nothing major. I visited the gynecologist the next day, where I got swabbed and sent for testing.
Turns out I have HSV2. I have no idea if my partner gave this to me or if I just had it dormant within me (not on routine STD checks.)
I just have so many questions. My first outbreak would have been on those dates above. I never had a fever, or any other symptoms besides those 2 sores.
Does an outbreak need to be alongside fever symptoms? Has anyone experienced such a mild breakout? I’ve heard the first is the worst, but mine was yeast like symptoms. Should I get a second opinion? My sores went away the next day after visiting the gyno. My doctor recommended I use the medicine for when I am experiencing another breakout, does this mean I am at risk of infecting? Or how does this work?
Also, my partner has also never had an outbreak. However, a couple weeks back he said he was experiencing pain down there. Not burning or sores, I checked.

Thank to this lovely community I learned what vaginal and clitoral atrophy is
My clit does nothing anymore 😩
Went to the GP today and he prescribed me cream , it contains 1mg of estrogen per 1 gram of cream
Have to use it daily for 2 weeks and then twice a week
How long did it take for you ladies to notice improvement?
I miss my orgasms

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Hi all,
I hope you are well. I wondered if I could vent here and get your opinion on something as I feel I have been suffering with retroactive jealousy. (If it helps, I also have ADHD which sometimes really does not help me with emotional regulation.)
I (40M) have been with my partner (37F) for 8 months now and over the course of those months we have become official and have been getting on pretty well generally and have developed a real bond and connection, that has been like no other. Sex life has been amazing too, in fact, she’s been the best so far, she knows what she’s doing. And I can tell from experience she really digs me. She agrees with this when we are close and intimate.
The issues I have been facing are possibly because I have such strong feelings for her and this is bringing the issues to light.
Whilst we have been together we have spoken about sex a fair bit and her past has cropped up a few times, some of these things were down to me for asking, although mostly it was her just saying things that I really rather would not have heard, and as a result, since then, the thoughts torment me, and I am worried they will never go away, and I am also worried that I will be triggered in the future by things she says that will add to the pile.
Some examples of the things she has said:

• She couldn't do anal with a guy cos his dick was 'huge' (a negative story in some sense, and I personally am not insecure about mine, she also said he hurt her because of it during normal sex, as do sometimes I. Although I can't help think in some sense bigger is better, society, porn, female preference/aesthetics )
  
• She cum the most times with a guy (9 times), because he made her (she said she wouldn't do it herself 9 times as it is tiring, and I don't doubt she could do it with me as it was clitoral and she was on top where she can regularly go 3-4 times easy)
  
• Some guys in the past have made her too wet (although, I do too)
  
• She wondered how much cum she's swallowed in the past when there was speculation that it could be bad for you (she might've just been talking about me and her)
  
• She wondered how much baby oil she has ingested before, similar to above
  
• She has been with guys with 'great' bodies (although their personalities sucked, and I have a pretty good body too)
  
• She loved it when an ex slept with her despite her being on her period, he pulled her tampon out (not really fussed too much, although she said how confident she felt he was and my thoughts were that it doesn't make him confident, it just sounds like her kink which I have since found out it is)
  
• An ex liked her playing with his ass. (Not for me but again, too much info.)
  
• I mentioned a joke someone on the internet said about how many videos are on ex partners phones of girlfriends with big asses. She then said that she reckoned that there would be some out there on her exes phones of her.
  

Apologies for being so open about the details, and admittedly this all might sound pretty bad but I've tried to caveat what has been said with her and my explanations of context. I don't believe the intention was to hurt me with any of these things. But all together, it still paints only a partial picture of her past, where part of me cannot now help but feel inadequate and intimidated. I know that these are ultimately my insecurities that I have been wrestling with and wonder how much porn has played a part (I have been addicted), as well as my turbulent and abusive relationship with my mother.
I have read a few books, and listened to a few podcasts, meditated, written things down, but the thoughts and uncertainty hasn't faded as much as I'd like. (I'll admit though, writing this does help a little.) I wish I could just stop typing this and forget the whole thing and move forward and be happy in the present as I know it is the only thing that really exists. At times this issue causes me sexual anxiety with her.
I've felt at numerous times like I am at the stage where I am seriously considering ending the relationship to prevent further pain, even though in other ways, I feel like she could be 'the one'.
I also know she struggles with her own insecurities about the relationship, and I have actually apparently slept with more people than her. I am aware that she is worried i will leave her as she has been hurt before in the past.
I am not pressing her or prying her for further information, nor am I allowing it to affect our relationship negatively to the best of my ability. We have spoken a few times about this, she has apologised for being insensitive and has tried to reassure me multiple times, although I don't seek it. I definitely don't want to go further down this spiral or push her away in any toxic sense.
I do still wonder though, even if it is just my issue, why none of my other exes have been so open about their pasts, perhaps they have learned from their past not to be so open, whilst my current partner hasn't.
I’ll also add that I’ve hardly said anything about my past partners of a sexual nature, and when I have it has been because I was asked and I kept it minimal and respectful. Although perhaps, I have said stupid things too about relationships and how I have been a bit of a player, and this has caused her to try to get back at me or make herself feel better by filling in some things to make me feel just as bad or alleviate her own insecurities.
I’ll reiterate that I have heard many many coping mechanisms and strategies m, and some are great, but I still have the obsessive thoughts.
She has a great personality and she’s incredibly attractive and we do feel true love for eachother and I truly trust her. It’s just these things and potentially for her tendency in future to overshare, even though we have conversations and since set boundaries. Things have got better, although sometimes things still slip out.
Finally, I have a suspicion that this issue has spiked my blood pressure. I’m hoping not as I used to suffer with anxiety.
I am wondering if anyone has similar experiences and could offer any advice?
Thank you.

I’m literally looking for anyone else that may be going through the same thing as me. I’m 30, soon to be 31. As a teenager, around “that time of the month”, sometimes I’d get a pea sized lump “down there”, but it would eventually subside and I wouldn’t get another one for maybe 6-8 months. However, this past year, it has been nonstop. It seems like it doesn’t matter where I’m at, in my cycle, I KEEP cysts. Sometimes there are multiple—on my labia minora, on my clitoral hood, etc. They swell and become large and painful, they itch and it is super uncomfortable sitting, walking, anything! I went to the gynecologist last month about it. The LPN just KNEW it was HSV (Herpes). I was poked and prodded, swabbed for HSV and they sent a swab off to be cultured for a possible bacterial infection as well. At my follow up, I was informed that I was HSV negative, and that the bacterial swab showed normal flora and no infection. However, I was put on cephalexen for 7 days. A few days later, I had a dermatology appointment for perioral dermatitis, where I was prescribed Doxycycline Hyclate (oral) for a month. Between these two medications, EVERYTHING down there cleared up. I couldn’t believe it.. I was pain free, no itching, I could go back to shaving without being scared of nicking something, and I felt comfortable during sex—being fingered and touched, in general.
Fast forward a month, after about a month of relief, here we are again.. a large, painful cyst on my labia minora. I just got off the phone with Teladoc, and they’re prescribing me Doxycyline to take again. My concern, is that doxy is an antibiotic. I cannot take this long term. Has anyone been diagnosed with Fordyce adenitis (what I believe it to be), and if so, what type of treatment are you on for it?
This is getting out of hand. I just want the cysts to go away and never come back. I’ve switched to Dove gentle cleanser, I don’t use baby wipes down there, and I even stopped using my vibrator.
Thanks in advance. 🙃