The back of my tongue and throat hurts

Hello!
My name is Reed, I'm a 28-year-old guy from Orlando Florida looking for someone to enjoy life with, as far as what I'm looking for. I'd say a meaningful connection, I am happy with the idea of being friends but also very open to it blooming into something much more should we both be on the same page. I am certainly not interested in rushing anything and anyone getting hurt due to miscommunications. Transparency and communication are key for me.
As far as who I am, I work a 9-5 (technically 9:30-6) and have a side gig writing that I really enjoy. I've been described by friends as a goofy optimist with a serious side. I am an increasingly casual gamer but would love to meet someone to pull me back into it, I used to be really big into online games but have been more so interested in exploring and immersing myself in cool single player experiences lately.
I love thrift shopping/going to random local markets and finding cool and unique trinkets/pieces of clothes, my all time favorite shirt actually came from a thrift store. I love going out and exploring new things and trying new restaurant, I consider myself a life time learner so always deep in some kind of new rabbit hole learning about who knows what.
I'm a big fan of high fantasy universes in nearly any medium, written, animated, really whatever. I don't really have a specific 'favorite' genre but I love anything that is unique and well thought out, and of course just movies that will make me laugh. (There is a special place in my heart for the Shrek series.)
I don't really subscribe to any specific belief system/ideology outside of 'do whatever you want as long as you aren't hurting anyone else.' and it has served me quite well.
here's some recent pictures of me
As far as who I'm looking for, I'm looking for someone who is capable of communicating and wants someone to share life with, as mentioned above what that ends up being is entirely up to us and where we go with things. I want someone I can genuinely look forward to talking to, someone that makes my day to day life a little less tedious, someone that can enjoy the small things and most certainly someone that doesn't take things too seriously. I want someone who isn't afraid to tell me the things they're passionate about, share your fire with me, tell me what gets you out of bed (as hard as that is some days lol) the things that keep you up at night.
If this stands out to you I'd love to talk and at the very least see where things go. I'd love to meet someone also in Orlando but quite open to anyone located in North America.
Thanks for your time and have a great evening.
Reed

Hello!
My name is Reed, I'm a 28-year-old guy from Orlando Florida looking for someone to enjoy life with, as far as what I'm looking for. I'd say a meaningful connection, I am happy with the idea of being friends but also very open to it blooming into something much more should we both be on the same page. I am certainly not interested in rushing anything and anyone getting hurt due to miscommunications. Transparency and communication are key for me.
As far as who I am, I work a 9-5 (technically 9:30-6) and have a side gig writing that I really enjoy. I've been described by friends as a goofy optimist with a serious side. I am an increasingly casual gamer but would love to meet someone to pull me back into it, I used to be really big into online games but have been more so interested in exploring and immersing myself in cool single player experiences lately.
I love thrift shopping/going to random local markets and finding cool and unique trinkets/pieces of clothes, my all time favorite shirt actually came from a thrift store. I love going out and exploring new things and trying new restaurant, I consider myself a life time learner so always deep in some kind of new rabbit hole learning about who knows what.
I'm a big fan of high fantasy universes in nearly any medium, written, animated, really whatever. I don't really have a specific 'favorite' genre but I love anything that is unique and well thought out, and of course just movies that will make me laugh. (There is a special place in my heart for the Shrek series.)
I don't really subscribe to any specific belief system/ideology outside of 'do whatever you want as long as you aren't hurting anyone else.' and it has served me quite well.
here's some recent pictures of me
As far as who I'm looking for, I'm looking for someone who is capable of communicating and wants someone to share life with, as mentioned above what that ends up being is entirely up to us and where we go with things. I want someone I can genuinely look forward to talking to, someone that makes my day to day life a little less tedious, someone that can enjoy the small things and most certainly someone that doesn't take things too seriously. I want someone who isn't afraid to tell me the things they're passionate about, share your fire with me, tell me what gets you out of bed (as hard as that is some days lol) the things that keep you up at night.
If this stands out to you I'd love to talk and at the very least see where things go. I'd love to meet someone also in Orlando but quite open to anyone located in North America.
Thanks for your time and have a great evening.
Reed

I have done a lot of thinking trying to come to terms with what has happened. One thing keeps coming to the forefront of my mind. You are a narcissist who felt you were no longer able to control me in the way you wanted. I am still not 100% sure, and I don’t think you think so either. I don’t think you know yourself truly enough to know this.
You lack a sense of self. You have no identity. You are who you think the world wants you to be at any given moment in time. Can you answer the question who are you? I used to think you would answer that with a mother, a daughter, a wife, a homemaker, or a friend. Inside I think you know or can feel that you are deeply broken. Not because of me. I don’t really know why. Your father? Your childhood? I am not really sure, that is for you to find out now. You have killed that broken damaged version of yourself and replaced it with what you are currently. What you are now doesn’t care that you are married. It doesn’t care that you have children. It cares about you and you only.
I think you had a large problem with my mother because of her strong sense of self. There may have been aspects that I listened to her instead of you sometimes, but I think you were threatened that you weren’t able to control her emotions or actions in any way. I believe you have an unhealthy relationship with your own mother. I think you take advantage of the fact that she was left in a broken state. You use her fear of losing contact with her children/grandchildren against her. Even now when I talk to Renee, her number 1 priority is making sure she doesn’t alienate you. You blocking her at any point in time makes no sense, she is your mother. I think you do it to manipulate her. So when you asked do you treat your mother bad, I think you do a little bit. I don’t even know if you do it consciously, but you do not treat her with the respect that she deserves for sure.
Your mother is a wonderful women who has endured a lifetime of hardship. Out of all of this I am thankful for two things. One is my children, and the other is your mother. I lived with her for almost a decade. She showed me a much different version of motherhood than my mother did. She is not a perfect person, nor is anyone, but at the end of the day, she is kind and she always means well.
I will get over this, the children will get over this. We will have our scars that we will carry with us for the rest of our lives, but we will live. Life goes on. You will get over this too, I think you already have, to be honest. Regardless of NPD or BPD or Bipolar, it all boils down to one thing. You felt like doing something and you did it. The consequences are what they are. You had so many options you could have pursued as much as you think you did not. I don’t think you will ever really understand the pain you have caused to Lillian, Juniper, and I. I don’t think you have the capability to understand. I don’t think you actually have the capacity for love right now. You may have had it in the past, you may have it in the future. If you were capable of feeling and giving love, none of this would have happened. You DO NOT hurt the people you love. I used the analogy of you stabbing our daughter and justifying it by saying its ok it will heal. That analogy isn’t entirely accurate. The stab wound you are inflicting will NOT fully heal.
I don’t think you know you have these problems yet. I don’t think you have really looked inward enough to reach that conclusion. You may think I am projecting or trying to diagnose you. I am not. I understand what happened. I don’t need to know the intricacies of your decisions, but I know enough. Something I have brought up in the past is your emotional immaturity. Your actions are fully centered on yourself. I thought you had some emotional growth while we were together, but it all came crashing down at the end. I don’t know if you were faking it the whole time or what.
I forgive you for your actions. I think you don’t really know why you did what you did. I hope you can figure it all out one day, but I can’t hold on to this feeling any longer. It causes me so much rage and anger. Not at you, but at myself. Was I that bad of a judge of character? How could I let this happen to myself, how could I let this happen to my children? I am so angry that I would bring children into this fucked up world when I wasn’t prepared to take care of them to my fullest with a caring and loving mother. I am so angry that I led myself down this path. I let myself be manipulated. I will live the rest of my life trying to correct that mistake.
As far as the children go. I will do what is legally required of me. If you actually make improvements you will be deeply and heavily involved with them. If you remain as you are, I don’t really see a situation where you will be any more involved then your father was with you. As long as you make yourself a priority over them, you have not earned the right to remain their mother. I am torn because I have seen the impact of an absent parent, but I am worried the presence of a parent who is as selfish as your self could be even worse.
I thought you were my best friend. I thought I would grow old with you. As much as you don’t think so, you were always my number one priority. It doesn’t matter now, I will grieve the loss of what I thought you were. It was all a figment of my imagination. I don’t think that version of you died. I don’t think it ever existed. I will love that **name of wife** forever. That dream will be in my heart forever. She will always be the mother I imagine my children have. I have hope you can grow into that person one day for my children.
I have lots of work to do, both physically and mentally. Mentally I need to rebuild my ability to trust. I need to rebuild my ability to love probably. The only thing that matters to me is my children now. I am in a hostile world with all senses of security robbed from me. I am financially vulnerable. I am emotionally vulnerable. I am mentally vulnerable. I have to rebuild my entire self image to better protect and provide for my children.
On a side note, something I am sure you don’t really care about, but I can not get the image of you two having sex out of my head. It haunts me when I close my eyes. It haunts me when I am alone. It haunts me mid sentence on a random unrelated topic. Anything that reminds me of my life for the past 14 years makes these images pop in my head. I know you don’t care but I feel so violated. It makes me squirm. It makes me feel so small and infinitesimal. Makes me feel like a waste of oxygen. I know you already moved on from the marriage, but it feels so bad I can’t describe it with words.
I am writing this to you to hopefully give you a piece of history showing what our marriage meant to me. I don’t think you will understand any of this, or even possibly read it. I don’t say these things because I want you to feel bad. I want you to be able to look back one day and understand what I feel. If you ever did love me, you will get to that point one day. This letter isn’t really for you right now. It’s for you in the future. It is very possible that you never read it again later on or even once for the first time. I wish I could just tell you this in person, but you will never have a serious conversation with me. You are so defensive and so difficult to talk to. I do want you to be true to yourself though. Please no more talk about me not being emotionally supportive. Even if it was true you could have had a real talk with me. If that was true and you went outside of our marriage for comfort, the mistake is still fully on you. Maybe you can write me a letter explaining your feelings about our marriage. I only ask that you be truthful. Did you ever actually love me? Did you not know what love was until you met Joseph? You said to me that you think we are soulmates, that still confuses me greatly to this day. Was that just manipulation? Also, we are both Taurus, lets be truthful to ourselves here. You are looking for external validation for your actions. Its ok, I get it, but don’t for one second think I don’t know that if it was real, it would apply to me too. The hating my mother aspect could be very true. You two are very incompatible. Not really a reason to cheat in my eyes, but you hating her is something I can fully believe. You at least had enough trust and faith in me at one point to have Lillian. We shouldn’t really comment on Juniper cause she wasn’t planned. If anything, I think I am a significantly better father now with Juniper than I was with Lillian.
The last thing I want to talk about is Juniper. Her current upbringing is obviously way different than Lillian’s. While we are more financially secure, I felt that she was being neglected emotionally. Not overtly, but your heart just wasn’t in it. The problems we are having with her are a manifestation of our issues and priorities. I think my deep connection with the toddler form of Juniper is me subconsciously noticing that. I do what I can for her now, but I know we weren’t giving her our best. I forgive you for this as well. I know most out of everything I said here, you did not do this on purpose.

I’ve been on a decline for a while. Half of it may be my mental health and half is bad luck. The mental health side- I can manage it mostly, and it’s been getting better. It’s just the life part that sucks. I used to enjoy myself for the most part but an abusive relationship caused me to lose my jobs, and my apartment last year. I moved hundreds of miles to start over, found a good job, and managed to get myself somewhat out of homelessness. I live in an illegal rental, basically a 100 sq ft shed in someone’s yard.
I’m extremely grateful to have a roof that isn’t a motel or my car, but it sucks. The plumbing is broken and I can’t shower, the toilet barely flushes. I’m starting my period in a few days and don’t know if the boiled water and rag will cut it. I have to go to the gas station if I need to do anything past pee. My job went out of business a month ago and I finally started a new one for much less money, several steps down in position, but the paycheck will come a week after rent is due. I won’t have money in a few days for gas to work. I don’t have ID since I lost mine recently, so even plasma donation is out of my options. I tried doordash etc but they need to scan the ID and won’t take a photo.
My ex boyfriend promised he’d support me for the few weeks until I got paid and was stable, but then left me as a punishment as he knew I would suffer without him. It was because I asked a question he deemed stupid. I asked for the address of the apartment he was applying to. I really know how to pick them, haha. He made fun of me when he contacted me to get back together because I was too broke to buy groceries or medicine as I was ill at the time. I refused him, because I’m at the point where I’d rather die genuinely than be back in that situation, letting someone control and hurt me as they pleased. Maybe I should have begged for forgiveness, as I wouldn’t be about to be back on the streets hungry again.
I’ve lost a ton of weight from lack of food and am down to my last bag of ramen, so I tried to post in one of those assistance groups here but I’m ineligible due to having deleted a post previously. I don’t have the karma for the others or the loan ones. I don’t actually want to die but like, what else is there to do other than rot until I do? I don’t have family or friends for help or even a place to crash. I’m on my own and nothing is okay. The timing doesn’t work for anything. It’s like I fought to fix things and get better for so long and it was for nothing.

putting this on reddit because i genuinely am so confused about what to feel.
the other night i was staying at one of my friend’s houses (let’s call her M) because we spent the day together and it was late, and i was there with my very good friend (let’s call her H). we took the guest room along with one of M’s other friends and i took the couch while the two of them took the bed.
they were just talking at first, for like an hour. then H asked if i wanted them to be quiet so i could sleep and i was like ‘oh no it’s fine’ just kind of chilling on my phone. then the lights went out and they start making out like 10 minutes later and led to sex which i could very much hear.
i kind of just froze because i didn’t know what to do so i didn’t say anything. it went on for 2 hours. i went back and forth between blocking my ears because i didn’t want to seem like a creep?? idfk. also, i didn’t get up and leave because i didn’t wanna start shit and make THEM feel bad which is my own fault but i’m very bad at sticking up for myself.
is it valid for me to be really hurt and upset by this? like yeah it’s just sex but it makes me feel gross that i listened to all that and it makes me feel worse that she felt comfortable enough to put me in that position. i don’t really know what to do because she hasn’t done something like this before and i just feel very disrespected and like she did not care about my feelings at all.
i texted her about it but she just apologized a bunch and said she shouldn’t have done it and it is not enough for me. i don’t really know what i want out of an apology from her but that wasn’t it. now things are gonna be weird and i’m just upset lmao.
anyone have any advice??🥲
TLDR; good friend had sex while i was (kinda obviously) awake in the same room and i don’t know how i should feel.

in january me [24F] and my ex [24M] of 4 years broke up. it was my first serious relationship and it completely broke me when it ended. it was a mutual breakup and we remained friends but i was really really fucking sad. i was completely alone after the breakup and moved to a new city by myself and was running out of money and i felt like i was losing everything. my ex and i stayed friends after but i would just get so depressed some nights that sometimes i seriously just wanted to die or even disappear just for a moment so i didn’t have to feel a single human emotion. i got so sad that I thought about doing a wellness check on myself. I would sometimes reach out to my ex when i was feeling this way and express this to him. I assured him that I wasn’t planning to kms because i never ever wanna manipulate him or anyone in that way, but i did tell him that i sometimes ‘felt’ like dying and i’ve expressed to him that i had been feeling hopeless and miserable at times. at one point, he mentioned getting back together but I said no because I didn’t want to get back together out of pity.
this where a lot of my guilt lies: there are mistakes he made in our relationship that i”ve since forgiven him for that really hurt me at the time. when we broke up I seriously struggled with emotional regulation — sometimes i felt like i lost complete control of myself and i’d go into an emotional spiral texting him things like, “i feel empty and like dying cuz of [xyz] thing that you did that hurt me” or “i wanna die cuz of what you did” or in a really intense emotional spiral i think i even said “i wanna die cuz of you” but cried and took it back. i also mentioned feeling like I wanted to hit myself sometimes. I knew in the moment it wasn’t good to say those things but I was so hurt and so emotionally out of wack that i didn’t fucking care and part of me even felt like he deserved to know i felt for how his actions had hurt me. I knew i didn’t literally want to die and I even made sure he knew that. I was just really really sad and hurt and I have very few people to talk to besides my ex and like 2 friends who are almost never available (they also knew what i was going through so i wasn’t solely texting these things to my ex). All in all I was extremely alone and going through a terrible time. And i can’t afford therapy.
My ex has been patient and understanding but I feel guilty for making him stress about my own well being and feeling like he is responsible in some way or another. I also have a lot of childhood trauma and mental health issues that plague my existence which he is also aware of but it’s no excuse. I was really alone and genuinely so down bad and literally just needed someone, but I’m wondering if I’m just as bad as all the manipulative abusers who threaten their partenrs with su*cide even tho that was NOT my intent and I made sure he knew I wasn’t going to do that. He also says I never made him feel that way. But I feel so guilty for every feeling i possess and I feel guilty for existing and talking to him about my depressive thoughts and emotionally spiraling out of my control.
tl;dr am i terrible for expressing extremely depressive thoughts to an ex after a breakup?

A few years back, I shared about my struggle with loneliness and how I felt like was impossible to make friends. I would put myself out there; bars, groups, clubs, every online app and website, but the results remained as if I was a ghost. The few friends I did make were extremely selfish and toxic. But I was told that if this is a reoccurring issue I must be the problem. So, I went away, focused on myself for years, really gutting my interior. Thoughts, behavior, the words I speak, facing my shadow -- a journey that continues to this day.
Through this, I realised I wasnt the best person. I had trauma based habits that I needed to address. But ultimately I learnt that I'd simply had a bad hand and these people very much were to blame for how they treated me. I come back to similar feelings now, having grown tremendously but still finding it impossible to make authentic connections. Most of the time, people don't even give the chance to get to know me, but the few that have truly have been some of the most egotistical, emotionally unavailable folk. I'd changed my vibration, so why am I still attracting these people?
In the spiritual and psychological community, everything is a mirror. The people who believe this often make everything a YOU issue. This can become incredibly illogical and victim-blamey. Yes, we all have blinds spots and should be self reflecting and challenging ourselves. Perhaps we do have behaviour that has negative influence. But that isn't always the case!
You can't discredit someone and just automatically assume they must be at fault. I hate that outlook. I learnt the hard way that sometimes, it's dumb luck and playing roulette. There are so many variables. It may be an individuals fault, in some ways, but it isn't inherently. I trust that I will find the right people at the right time, but for Liliths sake, I wish people would stop the "no matter what it must be your fault" angle.
I can't help but feel that this sort of stereotypical answer spits on all the hard work I've done, and makes me feel that my hardest simply isn't good enough. I take every hardship as an opportunity. I got to learn independence, how to set boundaries, and was given so much space and pain that my spirituality was put on the fast track. It could be what's needed to get me to a place where I can truly help to heal and guide people.
I don't hate the people that use or hurt me; I see they are human with their own struggles too, but I do not have any control over their treatment of me. Nor can I force people to want to talk to me, or care about me. I can only be authentic and know that when they don't, it doesn't change my worth.
Welcome to my TedTalk. Needed to get this one off my chest. It's so aggravating to open up and people would rather blame you than listen to what you're saying.

I think I want to divorce my husband but theres so many factors that make me think I should just stay and be unhappy.
This is a long story but all the details are needed to understand where I'm coming from. Husband (32) and I (32) have been married for 7 years, together for 9. Things were great at first. He was a good listener, caring, romantic, just what I wanted in a partner. Things did move fast but for years that was never an issue. A little whole after we got married he started to change but I chalked it up to just time passing and everyone changes. About 4ish years into our relationship he was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and PTSD related to his time in the military. That was a rough time for us both but I was there supporting him every step of the way and it explained why he was so different. About a year into therapy and medication Things got worse between us. He was no longer romantic, lazy, stopped taking care of himself, was angry, and didn't help me around the house at all (such as with housework, cooking, cleaning, budgeting, finances, nothing). It got so bad I mentioned a separation but we talked and he promised to change and I promised to be patient. Well this same conversation has happened way more times than it should have. At least 15 times. During the last 3 years Things will change for a few weeks then right back to how they were before. 2 years ago, things were good for awhile and I finally got pregnant after years of us trying. He promised he would be even more helpful now that we were having a baby. That never happened. When I was 5 months pregnant he started having seizures amd was diagnosed with epilepsy. It was scary for us all and I've suffered from ptsd regarding it ever since. He wasn't able to work for 6 months so we were home together the remainder of my pregnancy (we agreed for me to quit work when I got pregnant and to become a sahm). During that time he suffered 2 seizures but a week or 2 after each one he was back to normal just still couldn't work. Anyway he didn't lift a finger around the house or do anything for me in my last few months of my pregnancy. He always made excuses and said he would do it later but later never came. He never helped me nest or clean or anything. When I finally had the baby my labor was rough and I was exhausted and our daughter was pretty sick the first month of her life. While in labor he complained about how tired he was and how uncomfortable the pull out couch was. The first night she never stopped crying and I woke him up to help me bc I was exhausted. He said he was tired and had a headache and went back to sleep. So I had to stay awake with her. When she was 3 weeks old she was hospitalized for bronchiolitis. Even the nurse made a comment that the bed would only fit 1 and I should get it bc I was newly postpartum. He took it and slept while I was up all night making sure she was ok... fast forward and she's now healthy and 13 months old. He still does nothing. He got a job making way less bc its safer and closer to home so money is tight. He can't be alone with her or drive with her incase he has a seizure. Needless to say I'm doing everything. I'm ok with some of it bc I stay home with her and he works the nightshift. But he could still help he just doesn't. He keeps promising he will change but it doesn't last longer than a week. I drive everywhere, do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, finances, planning, literally everything that comes with being an adult and a parent (except for getting a paycheck). I've considered divorce a few times now but I have nothing of my own. Everything is in his name and I'm not working. Also I feel like the bad guy for wanting to leave knowing he has health issues. He can't really be alone, especially with our daughter, until she's older and more self sufficient. So if I do leave I'm risking everyone's safety. Also with his epilepsy ive given up a lot thats important to me bc he cant do it anymore (like concerts) but he doesnt take that into consideration. I thought I could just deal with all this but the kicker was this mother's day. I said I wanted a clean house, a long shower, pad thai for dinner, and to sleep in. He even said he'd set an alarm to take over with our daughter (I cosleep with her in a separate room bc of our different schedules). Well surprise none of that happened. He never set an alarm so he slept in. He didn't offer for me to go take a shower (which is an issue bc I've begged for a year now to have time to shower everyday but that mever happens). He didn't order me dinner. He didn't do anything for me. An hour before he went to work that night he asked me for paper and just wrote me a note saying he loves and appreciates me. And tbh it meant nothing to me after all the letdown and broken promises. Not to mention he's still not pulling his weight. What do I do? I want to be happy and I'm not getting any younger and I have to way to support me or my daughter right now. And if I do leave and he has her for the weekend and something happened to them I wouldn't be able to live with myself... idk I'm so hurt and confused.
There's more reasons I'm not happy bit this is already long enough. Thanks for listening.
TL:DR: husband doesn't pull his weight with responsibilities but idk if I should leave bc of his epilepsy

I'm at a crossroads as to whether or not I should wipe a clean slate on my life.
These are facts about me:
• Late 20s • Virgin • Never been in a relationship • Homewrecker • Obese (BMI = 41) • Living with mom • Unemployed • $40k debt • Diagnosed with Persistent Depressive Disorder
I've gone to therapy for 5 years but nothing has helped. All of my friends are wonderful but I fail to reciprocate anything back and just offload my problems onto them all the time, even arguing with them and lashing out frequently.
Should I end my friendships because I'm a shitty person and aren't deserving of their care? Really considering moving and starting life over just to avoid anyone else getting hurt.

A very good friend of mine who is almost like a brother to me was recently diagnosed with stage 3 throat cancer caused by HPV(human papillomavirus), which is a sexually transmitted virus, for those of you who don't know.
His wife got tested, she doesn't have it.
He got in touch with his ex, she got tested, it came back positive. God knows how many other men she gave it to.
My friend has surgery scheduled for Friday and they will have to remove almost half of his tongue, both tonsils and parts of his oesophagus, followed by gruelling sessions of chemotherapy, all of which will leave him scarred for life, unable to speak properly and on top of that, he was told that he has about 50% chances of surviving 5 years after the surgery/treatment.
I did a bit of research on this and it seems that this is a growing problem among men due to the large disparity in how the HPV vaccine is offered to men and women, or should I say NOT offered.
Basically, our beloved ''patriarchy'' decided that only girls should be given the HPV vaccine because we all know boys' and men's lives don't really matter, so for a long time the vaccine was mandatory for girls and optional for boys. In the UK, it's only been offered to boys since 2019 while girls started receiving it decades ago.
This means that most young women are protected against the virus, while most young men are not.
''Head and Neck Cancer (HNC) specialists are also concerned about a rise in the number of middle throat cancers among men, despite declining smoking rates. This increase in oropharyngeal cancers – where the tonsils and base of the tongue are located – is largely attributable to the human papillomavirus ''
https://www.uicc.org/news/rise-prostate-cancer-and-oral-cancers-men

This will probably end up being longer than I want, but there’s so much to it. And I’m questioning a lot of my life right now as I recently started believing my dad and stepmom have very narcissistic tendencies.
My younger childhood seemed “normal” and nothing out of the ordinary. Things started going downhill when I was in 5th-6th grade when I noticed my parents fighting bad. Once my dad moved out and my mom got a restraining order for awhile. But I never knew why as I only ever heard them yelling. In jr high, my dad’s anger came out full force. He could clear a counter with one arm sweep and the house was never clean enough. He once slapped me so hard across the face my body slammed into the wall. But he justified it because I had hit my younger brother and I deserved it. So I believed it was my fault.
Things got worse and I was hearing my dad hitting/pushing my mom around in their bedroom on occasion and we did eventually go to a battered woman’s shelter (my mom and myself with my two brothers) for a month and didn’t move back in with my dad. By the time I was a freshman in high school (many scary fights and even kidnapping threats later) my parents were divorced. I didn’t spend a lot of time with my dad as he had gotten a bit scary in his anger and I didn’t want to be around him. A few months after the divorce, my dad met a woman who seemed nice and had young kids from a previous marriage. So I started spending a little more time with my dad just to spend time with her. They both started sitting me down and describing these horrible things my mom had done. Cheated on my dad for years, thought my youngest brother wasn’t even his which caused him to choose to have a vasectomy, she had an abortion, and was partying and doing drugs. After a couple months hearing this over and over, I started believing it. And my mom had a couple boyfriends off and on and did drink/sleep with them sometimes. So I thought maybe they were right. (I was only 15) So I ended up moving in with my dad who did eventually marry that woman. They continued to share the awful things my mom did which got worse as my mom quit trying to contact myself and my brothers. Through my whole high school, I only saw my mom on occasion because she would “move in the middle of the night and not tell anyone where she was going.” They also told us on a regular basis that any contact with her physically would cause demons to come into our house. And those “demonic” episodes were scary and very real. So we continued to believe she was “evil”.
My stepmom hit me on multiple occasions when I didn’t “comply” with what clothes or hairstyles she and my dad wanted me to wear or sing the songs they picked. (I was a singer and performed small concerts). I was slapped, pushed onto my bed, and once thrown over her shoulder and landed on the floor next to the toilet in my bathroom. She also would tell me often how much I looked like my mom, but it was said with disgust and meant to be an insult. So stepmom would “help” me pick hairstyles that made me look more like her.
I ended up so hurt and devastated over the abandonment from my mom that I was a cutter and attempted to unalive myself. I had severe depression and was on meds for years. They blamed it on my mom as they believed she had bipolar and was delusional and I must take after her.
When I graduated high school, I was moved out of my bedroom within a day (stayed in a corner of the basement) and was told I would be leaving for college on my own. I didn’t need family moving me in as I was an adult now. And I was not allowed to ask for help in any way during college.
But we also had fun times. Lots of family vacations like Disneyland and other theme parks, lots of camping, went to the Grand Canyon and Mt Rushmore. They would have huge movie parties and slumber parties for the high school kids and all my friends. Even allowed alcohol at the house. My stepmom was always there for all my friends if they had issues. So everyone absolutely adored my “amazing parents”. So sometimes I feel bad thinking such bad things after so many “good” times.
When I was in my 30’s, my dad went through an episode where he was completely delusional (thought the government was against him and even went walking down the interstate naked once) and I watched him treat and talk about my stepmom the exact same way he was with my mom. He was eventually diagnosed with severe bipolar.
After talking with my mom (we had slowly been building up our relationship again) and some other outside family members, I found out everything was a lie. My mom never cheated, never had an abortion, never did drugs, and most of all, never abandoned us. She would call all the time and would be told by my step mom (who always answered the phone) that we didn't want anything to do with her. On the flip-side we were told our mom never called or wanted anything to do with us.
As an adult and even married, I’ve dealt with things that a friend of mine said is considered psychological abuse as well. Like when my husband had his eye removed due to cancer and I couldn’t stomach changing out the bandages and had a local emt come over and help. I was told by my stepmom that I was a bad wife and didn’t really love my husband. “A good wife would be able to change those bandages”.
These things are never allowed to be talked about. The past must stay in the past. And if I bring anything up, I’m either teased about the things I used to do or the “way I was” or told that I was such a difficult teenager to raise, they had to be tough on me.
I could go into so much more detail, but then it would be a book, not a post. My mom and I are very close now and I’m trying to decide how much contact to have with my dad and stepmom. I feel awful going no-contact, but it’s an emotional roller coaster when we visit as it’s made known I’m not the favorite child and my son is not a favorite grandchild.

I’m seeing my dentist next week so I will be consulting them on what to do, but I thought I’d go ahead and try to find some advice here.
I have a very frustrating problem with finding a toothpaste that doesn’t make my mouth react someway.
I use Crest Scope “Type 1” (I don’t remember its actual name because it has extremely similar packaging as the other Crest Scope), it doesn’t give me any problems.
I use Crest Scope “Type 2”, it makes the corners of my mouth turn red and chapped and sore and painful. The packaging on these two Crest Scopes look extremely similar and I cannot find a specific difference between them.
I try using Sensodyne or some other “sensitive/gentle” toothpaste, it makes my tongue feel like it’s burnt and it makes food taste weird and bland.
I use whitening toothpaste, it hurts even more and makes the corners of my mouth hurt even worse.
I use baking soda and it makes my gums hurt.
I use any toothpaste with even just the slightest amount of “tartar control”, it makes my mouth corners sore and chapped.
I’m not a drinker or a smoker, I do my best to take care of my teeth, but this battle with toothpaste is getting very frustrating.
Is there a brand I should be on the lookout for? Is there just a long list of common ingredients in toothpaste I have a sensitivity towards (It’s not SLS, I’ve actually managed to rule that out)? Is there an ingredient or something I should be looking to avoid?
Again, I will be talking to my dentist about all this next week but I still have another week to endure toothpaste that makes my mouth hurt like crazy so I’d appreciate any help.

Looking mostly for just support or advice.
I'm 26, he's 30. We've been dating for not even a month so it's low stakes, but we've been savoring our time together: fabulous, engaging dates over dinner or drinks, spending time in town with friends, PDA, loving, intimate sex - most of the boxes checked that make someone nod yes to a relationship. And we can both feel the potential. It's rare that I feel so certain about someone early on: I'm both a huge romantic who is extremely affectionate and tunnel vision-ed but also a realist who knows that after only a few weeks, you don't owe someone much and don't even know a fraction of who they are. I really adore him and he does me.
But, I'm a student who is staying at home for the summer to save money after my lease ended - not far from our university town where we both are working, but not in my own place for the first time ever - and he is a bit more "settled in" to adult life (but is sympathetic to my not having my own place as his academic career has taken him all over the world and into short academic term leases as well). I'm extremely self conscious about this as I feel immature or unsophisticated not being able to invite him back to my place and always having to go to his, which neither of us mind, the problem is entirely me feeling inadequate / not living the way I usually do and it has started to affect my thinking about landing in a relationship at this time.
Ultimately I decided I would talk to him and tell him that I may have sped into something great with him, with the expectation of something casual (he will likely move overseas within the next year; I finish my program next year and could end up anywhere after that). We didn't even discuss dating goals much until I "broke up" with him a few nights back - we've just been seeing each other, loving it, and craving more from each other. Neither of us have been seeing other people.
It's a rare emotional, physical, and intellectual connection that we share and we told each other that the way we both feel is palpable. But, he understands that if I want to have more stability before picking this up that that would be fair. That conversation followed an evening of us talking nonstop, not keeping our hands off of each other in public, asking questions for hours, and walking around our town at dawn. If there were ever a date that would become an impetus for talking about seriously entering a relationship, it was that one, and I completely blindsided him later with how I'm feeling and ultimately said that it would be smart to split before feelings balloon.
I genuinely thought for some time that we had just fallen into a casual, nsa relationship, but he was extremely disappointed to break things off and so was I. This is the first person out of many that I could see myself pursuing long term. He even had bought me a special book a few nights ago that he thought of after a conversation about my favorite authors a few weeks back. It couldn't have been more spot on. Thoughtful, sexual, open to these hard discussions. Calculated and sensitive. Everything I want. But the timing is just not right right now and won't be for a few more months.
We talked a bit more about how we're feeling and what we want. Then got wrapped up in physical.. distractions for a bit. Our physical connection is like nothing else I've experienced, him too. We did not want to let go of each other and after leaving I knew that I had really, really hurt someone who was feeling optimistic and warm to me. He told me, too, that he hopes I change my mind and watched me leave through the window.
We exchanged some messages the next day: me reminding him that my decision has absolutely nothing to do with him and that although I probably don't need to explain to him after just a few weeks that my housing needs to be back on track before I pursue anything serious, he is one person that I absolutely didn't want to hurt and that I seriously adore him and hope he could feel it in how I treated him. His response was unsurprisingly thoughtful and he suggested that I know where to find him should I feel like I'm in a better situation soon. But he never replied to my last text (fair) and I know he is probably not happy with me and at this early on, I would expect him to move right on :)
I don't want to look absolutely crazy in showing how.... attached I feel this soon. He does too and this is the first time it's been really hard to peel away from someone. If I remove the weird housing situation (living with parents for 3 months between semesters - which people are now telling me...is not as embarrassing as I think it is), we have tons of potential down to where we both want to be living after next year.
Is it too late to maybe revisit this discussion with him? Or have I totally shot myself in the foot?

We’ve been dating for 2 years and in that time I got kicked out of home and started living with my girlfriend and her parents, who I’ve stayed with for about a year now.
I’m very grateful to her and her family. I would be homeless without them as I don’t have any other family or friends to turn to, but I’m unsure about a lot of things in this relationship.
Firstly, my girlfriend and I are rarely intimate. She has problems with having sex, as it’s too painful for her. I can probably count on one hand the amount of time we’ve had full on sex. Most of those times were at the start of our relationship, where she confessed to me that she only did it to keep me from breaking up with her. Looking back, it makes me quite upset because it feels like I forced her to do it in some way. I always tried to be careful and make sure she was consenting at every point, but to know she hated it every time makes me feel like shit. Additionally, after we had that conversation, I don’t think we’ve had sex after that. I’ve begged her to go to the doctors repeatedly, but nothing ever comes from it. As a result, anything we do is oral mostly, but even that is rare. We had a dry spell of about 8 months where we did nothing. I constantly asked her in different ways, styles, trying to be more romantic, setting the mood, taking care of her needs before bed, and asking her on days where she didn’t have work the next morning. All of these times were shut down and it tore me up inside. Eventually, she told me that she didn’t really care about sexual stuff, and that she doesn’t understand why I care so much. She’s sorta walked back on that statement, and we’ve come to an understanding that she just has a very low sex drive, not asexual. We’ve broken the dry spell since, but it’s very infrequent, about once every month at this point. Beyond sexual stuff, she’s also not really affectionate in general. She doesn’t like hugs that much, usually pushing me off if it gets too much for her, which isn’t necessarily bad, just her style I guess. She cuddles up to me in the morning, but that’s about it, she hates when I cuddle her too much at night but when she does she usually demands it of me in a roundabout way. She also doesn’t like making out ever, I usually get a peck on the lips when she leaves, but all other kisses I instigate and she always pushes me away. Furthermore, she’s a bit prone to anger? She’s definitely not abusive in any way, but she sometimes hits me in a jokey way when I do something to upset her, or if I don’t get away from her quick enough if she pushes me off from kisses or cuddles. Stuff like slaps and pushing me around. As I live with her and her family, she often gets into fights with her sister and gets angry and irritable when she comes back to our room. It’s rare, but I do sometimes get scared when she gets really mad at something, as she throws stuff around the room or punches the air and stomps her feet. I should mention that I’m on a tracking app at my girlfriend’s request with her and her whole family. I usually go out only for classes or work when I had a job, but there have been a couple times my girlfriend thought I was out too long and thought I was cheating, which kinda hurt.
Her family are really nice having taken me in, but there’s always been a distance. I talk to her mother the most, but it’s rare and usually for a purpose. Besides her, I barely exchange words with anyone else, which I’m sure is mostly my fault. My home life wasn’t great back with my mom, so it’s still a big improvement, but it’s never really felt like a family here, more like a dorm that the mother manages, at least to me. I did pay rent when I was working, about $100 a week, but I got fired and haven’t worked for a couple months, and I haven’t needed to pay rent, which I’m very grateful for.
My girlfriend likes to read fanfiction of characters in her shows, which is fine by me, I brought up the idea of maybe doing some roleplay to get her in the mood one day. She told me I wasn’t manly enough and too small and frail, which I joked off at the time, but it kinda hurt. She does make little digs at me every now and then about how I look like a twink and look gay, which are mostly jokes I think.
I know it sounds silly to have all these gripes about this sorta stuff. Without my girlfriend I would be homeless, so I know beggars can’t be choosers. I am scared of this looming feeling I’ll be kicked out because I’m not getting along with everyone else, or if things go south with my girlfriend, but idk.
Sometimes I have thoughts about leaving, but I’m dependent on her. If I leave I could maybe find a dorm at my uni temporarily, but then I would have no one. I don’t want to be alone. It hurts to stay but it’s gonna be too scary and more painful to leave. It’s silly to risk everything just because I’m unhappy with a few things, but I don’t know what to do.
Any advice?

BACK STORY...skip ahead to the point
Y'all ... Where to start. I've been with my spouse for 12 years. We moved in together almost immediately and married 6 years ago. Recently we made a well thought out decision to build a mother in law/ apartment in my spouse's mother's home basement. Her home is paid off, she has no retirement plan as a hairdresser, we can't afford half a million dollars for a home or rather refuse to go that far into debt. The three of us and my spouse's sister discussed a plan for ownership and how to build the basement. We agreed that we would own half the home and we will then pay half the property taxes and all utilities. We will be adding a entry door to the side of the house for this apartment and along with have our own "front" yard on the side of the home. We will share the backyard. We share the parking spaces available in the driveway.
We wanted to start the building process immediately. So we decided to do it in phases. Phase one was building out our bedroom and a master bathroom. This means we would be sharing the kitchen with my mother-in-law and one of the living rooms would be to share as well. Due to budget restrictions we decided to hold off on the shower so we only have half bath downstairs. We have not signed any contracts with this home agreement yet and as each day passes I regret it more and more. With the first phase we re-piped the entire home. My mother-in-law did pay half the price of this. However, overall we have put in $35,000 into the home for our bedroom and half bath.
MIL and I have gotten into a couple of arguments but seemingly seem to go away after apologizing to each other. When she gets a little too drunk, she likes to bring up mean things from the past. I have decided I don't like that so I avoid her when I notice she gets a little too drunk. We have been living under the same roof for 5 months and so I've learned when to avoid.
First fight was me attempting to stand up for myself. After the 5th conversation of her asking me to wear more makeup more often just for her, Because I look so pretty and I could be so pretty if I just wore makeup more. I told her "that was rude and that I wouldn't wear makeup for anybody and I don't really get any joy wearing makeup so that's why I don't wear it." She always starts these conversations talking about how pretty I am and how great my facial features are and I do my makeup so well and I should do it more often. She did not think it was rude and denied what she had said about requesting I wear make up for her. So we had a back and forth of disagreement until I said we should just take some time apart to cool off. She hated that. I went downstairs. Next day I went on as nothing happened and we had a great silly interaction and she apologized and said nothing more needed discussed. We hugged and said I love yous.
Second argument is when she was being emotionally abusive to my spouse when he was opening up about childhood trauma. She started to victim blame my spouse insinuating that he enjoyed said trauma. She is always drunk so, take it for what you will... But at one point she said "why is everyone always ganging up on me??" So I said because she was an abusive drunk asshole and that my spouse was too nice to stand up for himself to you. I did raise my voice. She pushed me out of the room and slammed the door on me.
THE POINT: Final argument with my MIL was two nights ago. (We live together 5 months now...working together to own half the home) Earlier in the day I was setting up a blink camera that she had given us cuz she wasn't going to use it. I put it in my bedroom in the corner facing the door on a bottom shelf so that I could see my dog when I wasn't home. Come midnight I could hear my mother-in-law on the phone yelling about me putting a camera in my bedroom. She said how dare I surveillance her in her home. She was screaming to somebody about how weird it was that I would put a camera in there and what does she think she is doing to be surveillancing. She kept saying my name, I was downstairs. I was not around her, so I popped out of my bedroom and asked. (Found out there was no one on the phone?!) "Hey are you trying to talk to me?" She came running down the stairs with her finger in my face asking me why I have a camera in my room. I said because I want one and she said well why I repeated because I want one. She said who do you think is going to go into your room? I said what do you mean you tell me? She said that she only ever goes in there to make sure my dog is okay and has food and water. Why do you have a camera in your room? *She is in my face throwing her finger in the air and I just said because of this BS motioning to her entire self. She took both of her hands and slapped either side of my face and kind of pushed me away "exactly" and started to turn around. I said don't ever touch me like that again. She turned around and put her fist in the air, so I said you're going to hit me? and she raised her fist again. So I said go ahead and she just sat there with her fist in the air until she finally walked away.
I called my spouse who's out of town working to share that his mother just threatened me physically because there is a camera in her house(my bedroom). He called her and essentially took her side because of how weird it was of me because I didn't talk to her first.
I texted to apologize for making her uncomfortable and that I wasn't being malicious. I took the camera down immediately. And she was screaming all night about how I need to leave her house. And how dare I surveillance her in her home to find her taking care of my dog...So now I feel like I am in the wrong. My spouse is busy and not talking to me so I feel like he's mad at me.
I just refuse to believe that it was a weird action of me to put a camera in my room that was given to me that I've always wanted so that I can keep an eye on my dog while I'm away.
As of right now she wants us to leave and I think it's because she's a crazy psycho and just doesn't like me. This puts us back in our initial financial burden we just escaped. Probably why my spouse is upset but I don't want to blame me but should I?! Am I also kinda crazy?! Maybe I need to reel in my emotional reactions. I feel like I am always reacting to her and maybe I should chill and care less about what she does.
I do love her. I felt that first real connection after our first argument about the make up and how we got over it. I was hurt when I heard she brought it up to my spouse after the fact in a negative way. And later she made a comment to me about being weird that one time with the make up....like what? That's when I started to pull away... probably about two weeks before this final argument.

Sorry in advance for the long post!
So my bf and I have been together for a few years and it’s all been going well and healthy. We both started smoking weed around 2 years ago and were also at a point where we smoked everyday. I stopped smoking 10 months ago and doing pretty well (I get high every now and then once a month or so and have no cravings). We don’t live together.
Now, the issue is that he’s got some minor anger issues. And when he’s weed hungover or going through certain withdrawals, he snaps at me out of the blue for no fault of mine on minor things (me being a bit clumsy, etc). He quit for a while but then got back into it by promising he would do it once a week and then eventually once a month or so. But, that once a week has now become 3 days straight on the weekends. I personally wouldn’t have had any issues but my main problem is that if we spend time together on weekends, he’s high and it’s not quality time that we get to spend. Also on the weekdays, specially Mondays or Tuesdays, he snaps and is irritable because of the hangover and snaps at me because I’m the closest to him. I have communicated my worries to him almost every week since the last 2/3 months and he said that he’d stick to once a week. But, it happened again and I got to know that he was high throughout this weekend. This is really hurting me because-

1. When we started dating, he was a different person. He had some goals and had a spark to stick to his goals and basically had the mind over matter mindset. Which I feel like he’s losing with time due to his weed addiction. It was something I really found inspiring in him.
   
   1. He said he’d prioritise us over weed but now it seems like it’s not the case and it really hurts me that he would rather smoke some and snap at me later in the week rather than try to quit.

2/3 days ago, I finally was at the edge and I told him to only contact me once he’s figured out what he wants to do with this problem (I’m also mad because he mentioned he doesn’t actually see any problem with smoking 3 days straight on the weekend and finds my request controlling).
Now I’m pretty chill, I myself know that we’d probably light one up occasionally in the future. But my main issue is with him snapping at me due to his hangovewithdrawals from every weekend smoking session and I’m done with it. I feel like doing it once a week is fine so that you’re not that hungover and have control over your addiction. But 3 days straight, 2/3 joints per session is obviously going to give you a hangover and you’d get withdrawals during the first few days of the week.
Am I the asshole for thinking and reacting this way or are my concerns valid?

I (14 N-B) met Chole (15F) when I was in year 3, I had just moved schools and knew no one, she on the other hand had her friend let's call her Milly they had been friends for years. So, when I joined the friend group, I felt a little left out but thought nothing of it.
We became fast friends, but I was closer to chole I shared all my secrets, fears and anything vulnerable with her and I trusted her with anything, but she started to act a bit weird and a bit violent for my taste about nine months into our friendship. This is also about the same time that a got a boyfriend and he started to sit with us at lunch. She would make sure to be sitting next to him, but it is not like she had a crush on him she actually hated him and if he did something that Chole didnt like she would hit him.
He didnt like that but he asked me to make her stop in private so, thats what I did I asked her to stop she said she would but didnt so me and him stop eating lunch with them because it was also making me unconfutable. Me and him boke up a bit later and we were on and off but thats not inport for the story.
In the following year she turned her violent tendency to me but it was just push and shoves so I didnt really care. Until the following year in year 5 I think she saw what she could get away with so along with the pushes and shoves she turned to slapping my legging, arms and sometimes punches but I didnt complain because I thought she was a good person. One day she took it a bit too far, see in Australia we have indoor and outdoor play, indoor play is when it is raining quite heavy and outdoor is when it is not. So on this day we had indoor play, I was eating my lunch and watching the movie my teacher put on Miss R. I was playing with my hat and these hats have a elastic band for if the hats is to big, to keep the band at the place to want it there is a bit of plasic ball that the elastic is feed through. Chole came in to the room and stanched the hat out of my hands as i turned to her I noticed she had pulled the elastic back like a fcking slingshot and before what she was doing she let go and bit of HARD plastic hit me in the left eye and I cryed my teacher miss r saw what she did pulled her in to her office gave her a talking to as I just sat there. Miss r made her apologies for it and gave her detention (I think) she apologized very rudely and the next she acted like nothing happened and I didnt have sore eye that was clearly fcking RED. That was just the being of 2 more YEARS of abuse.
I got worse and worse to the point I came home every day with bruise, and most were purple by the time I got home cus she knew it would hurt if she kicked, punched/poked at it. And before you wonder where the fck the teachers where we had a oval witch is a big ass bit of grass, and we would go to the very back corner and the teachers were preoccupied with making sure the rugby game didnt get too violent (rugby is like football for the Americans).
And it wasn't just physically she would play mind game that I dont want to get in to by year 7 I had about 2 or 3 scars from her and if your wonder why I was still friends with her its because she was like a fcking leach she would leave me then come back for more that fck head. I did end the 'friendship' I just ignored her which was really hard because I was still friends with Milly and i was scared of Chole but every time she tired to talk to me i would tell her to piss off and after a week she got the message.
Even when I was with my new group of friends I still felt horrible because after 4 years of being torment it is hard to breck that felling like you shouldnt be here and it got so bad I took a shit ton of pills because of her and when that didnt work I was cutting myself, I moved school havent spoken to her in 2 years and I am a year clean but I still vent to my sister about her and sometimes my sister is tiered and annoyed from work so she tells me what she is thinks and tells me to get over and stop complain she care anymore
this started when I was 9 and ended when I was 12 Im 14 now and in year 9 and it still affects me to the point to breck downs if someone yells at me to loud or if they are just being loud.
So am I the asshole for hoping she is miserable?

Scrolling through this page and seeing the loads of comments on this post made me feel like...all these hurt souls..
I feel bad for you and everyone else today. Our pain done by no other than our own family. Tis a massive sadness to see and experience. I am blessed to finally be out of that literal hell. To me..we fought over the dumbest reasons and near every day... for almost ten years. Did anything I could think of to fix the situation but nobody else was interested in looking at themselves and wondering if they might be part of the problem.
I know I made stupid mistakes but I helped that family so much more than hurt... for almost twenty years. The main thing that killed me was the thought that I wasted all those years and that hurt. Eventually I had to come to the realization that the many, many other people I worked with knew I was a good person and hard worker. Constantly impressing them. They smile and wave at me anytime I bump into them and I love them.
I slowly came to realize that, even if my own father was not going to give me the most basic of respect for my almost two decades of service and sacrifice, he did not deserve another second of it. I told them that our fighting would stop by the time I was 30 or I was gone. They did not..so here I sit at 31 in an apartment. Definitely quiet.
For those that do not think that you can never make something out of your situation... Just know that your Life..IS yours.. nobody else's. Even if you leave but still continue on in misery, they are winning as they are still keeping you locked up in their prison without them even being there. It is tough but you can take it back. It takes some time but you must do it. Some days are hard but keep moving forward all the same. Crawl if you must but take back what was stolen from you.
Do you want to live in this misery til death? No..? Then fight hard to take back what is yours by rewiring your mind. Think on positive things and look around. Watch things that make you laugh as it is one of the best medicines. One thing that helps me massively and I might have fallen without was music. It is my inspiration..my therapy...my friend.
I just want to give anyone out there that is just in the slumps that tools to fight back inside of yourself. The battle is not easy and our situation unfair but do not give up. A damn fine life awaits you out there somewhere. You'll have to find it and you can. It takes the right mindset..I know that from experience.
Some might find this cheesy but a motivated mind can get back on the right track and make something of themselves. This is just how I think and it is a fact that a positive mindset is nothing to joke about. You CAN..do it.
As for me..I will never give up. They have stolen so much time from me that I will never get back. Time that could have been used making memories. Therefore I will not waste anymore time thinking about them. It is hard as it comes to mind at times but it is quickly replaced by something funny or music. The weight is heavy and hits me hard on certain days but I will always get back up every time. Life is short and I'm not wasting anymore precious time.
I will get my life back and I'm not going to stop til it happens. Had my time in hell now it is my time to win. It feels a bit easier having a strong determination to keep going no matter what happens. My advice is Free and right here for anyone to use if they decide to. I am here for you guys and to see you win in your own battles. It is possible.. I'm living that reality. Good luck. ❤️
Copied this message I made from replying on a post and I really do want to get some good advice to those that could use it. This stuff has helped me and has made my trauma quite easier to live with. Just wanted to help someone out there to stop living in the muck and mire of what happened and concentrate on taking back that Life that belongs to you and nobody else. Take care my friends. Hang in there~