This might have been asked a lot of times before but I recently shifted to dubai. My brother and my dad expanded their business so I eventually had to come here as well. I just completed my grade 12th from India and scored a 94%. I was looking at the dubai unis here since I’m pretty new to the city . According to Reddit all the universities here suck. And the student life is extremely bad ? Is this true ? Can some of yall give me first hand experiences .
I am planning to mostly do a psychology degree and then for my masters I’ll go abroad and either do an mba or continue with a msc in psychology.
Then I got to know something about how half of the unis here aren’t “ moe “ approved and idrk what that is? Does that mean that if I study in a uk based college here I won’t be accepted into top us colleges in the USA? Or what exactly does a ministry of education approved college mean and how is that beneficial?? And is only a kdhda approved college alright??
For psychology I was mostly looking at harriot watt, university of dubai, curtin university or rak universities like the west London, bsu or American university of rak . how are they?? Or any good unis for psychology?
My only two options atleast for undergrad are either go back to India or study in the uae and tbvh the Reddit posts scared the shit outta me😭
I met Luna on a train two years ago. I’d just escaped from a toxic relationship, so romance was the last thing on my mind, but then she sat across from me in the carriage and asked about the book I was reading. She had a copy in her bag and wanted to know if it was any good.
I'd never felt such an instant, effortless connection with anybody before. I took a chance and asked her to dinner, and by the time the waiters cleared away our desserts, I already felt comfortable being vulnerable around her. So we went on a second date. And a third. And next thing I knew, we were planning our second anniversary.
In all that time she never gave off any 'creeper' vibes. Until a few months ago, when I stayed the night over at her place...
She'd gotten up early to use the bathroom. I grabbed her laptop off the side desk so I could catch up on some work e-mails, and the incognito tab was just sitting there. My first thought was:
either she's having an affair or she's got a secret fetish. What I found instead was a Google account with a photo album called ‘Michael’s EX’. In it, there were 427 photos of my
former girlfriend turned psycho stalker, Sadie. This included shots of ‘Sadie the stalker’ with her family, screenshots of her passport—the works. On Facebook, Sadie's latest post said
Moving to the Philippines, and since then she’d become a social media church mouse, so how did Luna keep her under surveillance? And how did you even get PERSONAL ID from a person halfway across the globe?
Down the hall, I heard the bathroom door swing open. Quickly I closed the laptop and pretended to be asleep until Luna planted a kiss on my lips. “Wakey wakey Bugs.”
I faked a stretch. “Morning Lola."
(At school, the other kids christened me ‘Bugs’ because of my cartoonishly large front teeth; I called Luna ‘Lola’ because of her blonde bangs and heart-shaped face.)
“How about we grab a fry for breakfast?” Her smile didn’t seem genuine, more like she was wearing a mask.
“Crap. I forgot I’m doing overtime today, I’ve gotta get to work.” With that, I shot out of there faster than a bullet train to Tokyo.
Because I didn’t wanna believe the worst about someone I cared so deeply about, I didn’t contact the police (not that anybody could’ve guessed what Luna was up to) and made excuses whenever she asked to meet, delaying the decision whether to end our relationship.
At night, I couldn’t sleep. Every time a hedge rustled outside, I’d run to the window and pull back the curtain only to discover a black cat skulking around the garden. I put this down to my previous relationship leaving me with a mountain of unresolved PTSD.
Sadie the stalker
also seemed normal until we moved in together. After that she started picking fights if she caught me talking to another woman, even just distant relatives or childhood friends. The screaming matches went from weekly to nightly, only ever ending when I conceded to her every wish and gave her full access to my phone and social media accounts. I literally needed to grab my clothes into a bag and run away one night,
and then I started hearing noises outside my new apartment. And although I never found any evidence, I was pretty sure she’d broken in at one point because the books on my side table were suddenly out of order one day. What hurt the most was Luna knew all this and
still acted the way she did.
Right as I reached my lowest point, my close friend Gertrude called and said, “The universe is telling me you could use a sympathetic ear.”
I told her the universe didn’t know the half of it.
I’d met Gertrude—aka my surrogate mother—on a flight to London. Passing over Wales the aircraft hit heavy turbulence, and the grey-haired hippie in the seat next to mine squeezed my hand so tight that my fingers turned blue. After we levelled off, she apologized and said, “So what’s calling you to London?”
“A job.”
A few glasses of wine from the service trolley later, she blurted out, “You know your aura is strikingly similar to my husbands.”
“Uhh, thanks. Where is he now?”
“Oh, he burned to death in a house fire.”
Gertrude’s eyes started welling up. To take her mind off the subject, I said, “I lied earlier. I’m going to London because I fell in love with a Londoner.” I pulled up pictures of Sadie (back in her pre-stalker days) on my phone. “We met in Italy. She looked flustered trying to read a map book so I offered to help. Next thing I knew, we were planning a trip to this place called Orvieto.”
“Michael, I
need to know how this story ends. Gimme your number.”
Since then, we’d met two or three times a year.
I laid the whole mess out over pizza. It was the first time since finding the Google account I didn’t feel hidden eyes crawling all over me.
Just as I wrapped up the story, over in the corner booth, a family burst into a chorus of happy birthday. A waiter appeared carrying a chocolate cake, capped by a giant candle that looked more like a flare. Gertrude tensed up.
“So what do you think about all this?” I asked.
She looked back at me and said, “It’s possible your reaction has been a touch on the dramatic side.”
“DRAMATIC??”
“Well consider things from Luna’s point of view. Your last relationship lasted for, what, three years? Maybe she felt threatened.”
“I don’t believe this.” I grabbed a cigarette from my pocket, but Gertrude snatched it away.
“You know how I feel about you poisoning your lungs, Michael.”
“Don’t
you start. I got enough of that crap from Luna.”
Gertrude always encouraged me to work through my romantic problems. Ultimately, I decided her love of fairytale romances clouded her judgement and ghosted Luna instead. But I couldn’t escape her shadow. She always felt close. In fact, it got so bad that at a friend’s costume party several weeks later, my eyes kept compulsively scanning the crowd as if she was there in disguise, ready to pounce.
I stood off to the corner until, over the sea of heads, I spotted a beautiful stranger dressed as Jarlath the Goblin King. I took a shot of liquid courage and made a B-line towards her.
Halfway across the crowded room, beer splashed across the front of my Ziggy Stardust outfit.
“I am
so sorry,” a female pirate said, patting me dry.
“Don’t worry about it.” Every time I tried circling her, she moved to cut me off.
“I am such a klutz. Why don’t you come into the kitchen so I can clean up this mess?”
I put my hands on her shoulders and steered her out of the way. “It’s fine. Trust me.”
Approaching Jarlath from behind, heart slamming against my chest, I said, “Well this is awkward. One of us is gonna have to change.”
Jennie had bright blue eyes and dimples impossible to miss. Ten minutes into our debate about David Bowie’s greatest album, I said, “You know Absolute Bowie are playing the Half Moon next week. I could take you?”
“Sorry. I’m going with my boyfriend,” she said with a sympathetic smile. From beside the buffet table, the pirate stared daggers in our direction.
“No worries,” I replied, despite the fact I was brimming with jealousy.
The next day, as I jogged off my hangover, a brown-haired lady cut across my path and we both went spinning to the ground.
“Flip, sorry.” I rushed to pull her up by the hands. “I’m like a bloody zombie lately.”
She did a doubletake. “Ziggy, right?”
There was no mistaking those eyes. “Jarlath?”
“Well, Jarlath or Jennie. Eithers fine.”
“Right. Well, sorry again. Enjoy Absolute Bowie.”
Before I could jog away, she said, “Hey, so that guy I was seeing? Turns out he’s a total prick.”
Jennie and I went for coffee. Coffee morphed into drinks. Drinks morphed into a steamy make-out session on my sofa.
But as she covered my neck in soft kisses, my stomach turned. It felt like cheating. So, I put the brakes on things and said, “I can’t do this. I’m really sorry. You’re amazing, but I just got out of a serious relationship…and…it’s just…”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.”
We agreed we’d let our connection blossom in its own time.
Jennie had a playful mystique to her. Within a handful of dates, we’d developed inside jokes and could tell what the other was thinking. But Luna’s imprint was hard to shake, to the extent I
almost mixed up the two ladies’ names multiple times.
To detox, I suggested Jennie and I spend a romantic weekend in the Lake District, because after two days of hiking and kayaking my ex would no doubt be a spec in the rearview mirror.
Hours before we set off, however, Luna’s mom called. She wanted to meet and wouldn’t accept any excuses.
“Look, it’s obvious why I’m here,” she said, sitting across from me in Starbucks. “Ever since you and Luna broke up, she’s been acting…
different.”
“Different? Different how?”
“I call but she hardly answers. I go over to her place but she’s never there. Now she’s telling me she needs to find herself. Says she’s moving to Australia.”
Her fingers tightened around her cup. “I need to know what happened between you two. And I don’t care if that paints anybody in a bad light. I’m just worried about my daughter is all.”
I told her about the Google account.
“Did you confront her about it?”
“Hell no. I ghosted that crazy bitc—” I cleared my throat. “I mean, I just…stopped seeing her.”
She started crying so loudly customers at nearby tables paused their conversations. I touched her forearm, promised I’d call if I remembered anything else, then set off for my romantic weekend.
But while Jennie and I enjoyed all that fresh air and pub food, a thought nagged at me. Luna adored London, so why move to Australia? It seemed so out of character. Back at our rented cottage, I was so fixated on the thought I needed a smoke, badly.
“What the
hell is that?” Jennie demanded, as she stepped onto the front deck.
I glanced at my hands. “Uhh, a cigarette.”
“Michael! Don’t be sarcastic. You know how I feel about those things.”
“…Do I?”
“Uhh, well it’s the same as anybody else. Quit poisoning your lungs and put that thing out.”
“Alright alright, geeze. Sorry Luna.”
“That’s okay.”
A knot formed in my stomach as she went back inside. I’d called Jennie Luna by mistake. And she hadn’t noticed. In fact, her reaction to me smoking was
identical to Luna’s—even the snappy way she said the ‘poison your lungs’ line.
I followed Jennie into the lounge, where she’d curled up on an armchair with a Colleen Hoover novel. She was hiding something. What else did she know about Luna? Maybe I could trick her into revealing some details…
From behind, I started massaging her shoulders. “Sorry for being rude before. I know what you said came from a place of love.”
“That’s okay.”
I waited until her eyes drooped shut, then said, “It really is perfect here, huh? Maybe we should stay forever.”
“Wouldn’t that be amazing?”
Her little groans of pleasure, the rhythm of her breathing, it all felt so familiar. I waited until the tension in her neck dissolved, then I pushed my lips against her ear and whispered, “So how about we take this into the bedroom…
Lola.”
“Hmm. Sure thing Bugs.”
My hands froze. Jennie jumped up. “Uhh, that felt so good, why’d you stop?”
“What did you just say?”
“What did
you just say?”
“I called you Lola,” I replied, my arms frozen in midair. “And
you called
me bugs.”
“Like the cartoon, right? I thought it’d be a cute nickname. Anyway, I’m tuckered out.” She forced a yawn. “Why don’t we get some sleep?”
As her hand laced with mine, an image of me waking up drugged and gagged and tied to the bedposts flashed before my eyes.
I said, “Sure. I just…need to use the bathroom first.”
The second the door shut behind me, I flew out of the house, climbed in my car, and sped away.
Within seconds my phone started blowing up with calls, followed by texts.
Where are you going? Is everything okay? No, I wanted to reply.
I’m onto your sick little game. Whatever it is, I’m onto it. Luna stalked my stalker, now Jennie somehow knew Luna and I’s nicknames. How? Did all women take turns drawing straws and whoever picked the short one needed to become my girlfriend?
I couldn’t go home. For all I knew, my exes would’ve been there burning effigies of me. I needed a safe place. Somewhere I could lie low until I got all this straightened out.
“Of course you can stay,” Gertrude said over the phone. “I’m out with some friends, but I’ll meet you later. If you hop the side gate there’s a spare key under the kissing gnomes out back.”
Gertrude lived in a detached house in Wembley. It took a bit of foraging to find the gnomes hidden beneath the weeds in the brown, patchy garden.
I needed to shoulder the door open. Inside, a mountain of letters and flyers had piled up on the welcome mat.
Down the hall, a huge archway connected the landing with a lounge, where a bar sat against the far wall, surrounded by upholstered sofas, a low table, and tie dye sheets strung over the filthy carpet. Everything had a real elegant vibe, despite the musty air.
I’d drained two glasses of whiskey before Gertrude arrived.
“Looks like you’ve had a rough evening.”
I said we could talk in the morning.
“Not a chance. You can’t take negative energy to bed. Come on, confession is good for the soul.”
She sat on the sofa and patted the empty seat next to her. So, with a weary sigh, I shared a tale of deranged exes.
“Crazy,” she said.
“I sure can pick ‘em, huh?”
“No, I mean
you’re crazy.”
“What?”
“Think about it. What’s more likely: that your ex’s are secretly in collusion, or you’re being paranoid? Look how bloodshot your eyes are. When’s the last time you got a good night’s rest?”
She made a great point; teenagers on the street occasionally shouted ‘Bugs’ or ‘Thumper’ at me. Jennie might’ve come up with the nickname herself. I pinched the bridge of my nose, groaning.
“Look, sleep here tonight. Tomorrow we’ll brainstorm ways you can make it up to Jennie.”
I fumbled through my pockets for a cigarette.
“Really?” Gertrude said. “If you insist on poisoning your lungs, can you at least do it away from my home?”
“Well if I can’t smoke, I’m gonna need a refill.” I shook my empty glass.
On my way toward the bar, a wave of wooziness hit me. My first instinct was to blame it on the alcohol, but there was something else.
It was her reaction to the cigarette. My finger ran through the thick layer of dust along the bar’s countertop. Why was it like the place had been abandoned? Why did Gertrude always pressure me to stay with my psycho girlfriends? And how come she always reached out, as if on cue, whenever my relationships hit problems? It couldn’t be coincidence…
I poured two glasses of whiskey and carried them to the sofa. “So, you’re really against the whole smoking thing, huh?”
“Of course. It’s a filthy habit.”
“Yeah. Plus, there was that mess with your husband. House fire, right?”
“I’d rather not discuss it.”
“Sure, sure.” I ignited the lighter with a roll across my trouser leg.
Gertrude grabbed a cushion and hugged it. “What are you doing?”
“Alright, cut the crap. What the hell’s going on? Have you been sending your friends to date me?”
“What are you talking about?”
I wrestled the cushion from her and held the lighter beneath it. “I want an explanation right now or I’m torching this place.”
This was an empty threat. I wasn’t some pyromaniac—I just wanted answers. Inch by inch, I raised the flame. “Last chance. Why are the women in my life acting weird?”
Gertrude grabbed for the lighter. As I swatted her wrists away, we both got scorched, and for a moment her skin went wild with spasms, a sensation I can only compare to reaching inside a bucket of wet, writhing maggots. My gaze whipped between her face and her hands, which vibrated like plucked guitar strings.
Before I could scream, she yanked me up, clamped a cold, wrinkled palm across my mouth, and forced me against the wall. I thrashed around, unable to move. For a lady old enough to collect a pension, she was crazy strong.
She waited until I ran out of breath, then said, “Michael, please. I’m not going to hurt you. Open your heart and listen.”
What else could I do?
“You were right before. I
have been keeping a secret from you. The truth is, I’ve been in love with you since we met. I’d never flown before. And you were so so sweet. You started talking about this other woman, but I knew our energies were perfect for each other. And it’s like I always say, love makes us do crazy things. You can’t begrudge me that can you?”
She looked as if she expected me to respond, so I shook my head.
“But I think we’ve reached a point where our connection is so deep we can be
completely transparent with one another.” She took a slow, steady breath. “Michael, all your ex’s, Luna, Sadie, Jennie. They’ve all been…well, me.”
I stared at her, confused.
She sighed. “It’ll be easier if I just show you.”
Out of nowhere her hand wriggled again, then her face tightened, as though the skin was being stretched over the bone. Wrinkles smoothed out and colour bled into her grey hair, turning it brown, and within seconds I found myself face-to-face with Jennie. Even her vintage clothes morphed into a green blouse and white slacks.
“See?” she said in Jennie’s voice, her now blue eyes locked on mine.
I screamed into the soft flesh of her palm.
“Sssh, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. Watch.”
Her entire body jerked and twitched, the muscles spasming as she shifted from Jennie to Luna. “See? Think of these as costumes”—from Luna to Sadie—"the important thing is what’s underneath. And you’ve fallen in love with what’s underneath three times. Now I’m going to let go, but I need you to promise you won’t overreact. Understand?”
On the verge of a panic attack, I nodded furiously.
The second she pulled away I made a break for the exit. The thing posing as Sadie grabbed me and hurled me backwards against the wall.
Like a disappointed teacher, she put her hands on her hips. “I’ve been so patient with you, Michael. So very, very patient.”
She blocked off any hope of escape. I sidestepped around the outer edge of the room, towards the bar.
“All those years moulding you. Trying to grow you into the man I
know you can be. I really thought we had it this time. For the record, I wanted to do this the easy way. But drastic times...”
I was so scared I slammed right into the cabinet and yelped. Glass bottles chattered together, and then something wet ran down the back of my shirt. It was whiskey, leaking from the overturned bottle onto the carpeted floor.
Speaking more to herself now, Gertrude said, “I’ll just have to keep you here until you love me as much as I love you. Of course, that means posing as you so nobody gets suspicious, but that’s no trouble. I’ll tell your dad you’re moving to Italy. You always loved Italy.”
Pose as me? She'd been killing my ex's and taking their place, I was just the latest in a long line. She’d keep me as a personal sugar baby if I didn’t escape, but how? She was impossibly strong, and the only thing that seemed to scare her was…
Snatching the bottle, I doused the remaining whiskey all over the carpet and furniture. As I flicked the lighter open, Sadie’s hands shot up.
“
Bugs…darling…what are you doing?”
I took three slow, steady breaths. “Breaking up with you, you crazy bitch.”
I tossed the lighter forward. Within seconds flames sprung up all around us, spreading as far as the sofa. Sadie’s shoe caught fire, and as she stamped around, unintentionally fanning the blaze, her body writhed again, starting with the ankles. Fat boils climbed up every inch of exposed skin, milky white and with the consistency of frog spawn, like she’d had a killer allergic reaction to poison ivy.
She dropped to her knees, wailing like a wounded animal. This was my chance.
I made a break for the exit, giving the creature as wide a berth as possible. But as I got one foot planted in the hall something clamped tight around my ankles. My chin hit the floor, then I started sliding backwards.
I twisted onto my back. Where Sadie’s left arm should’ve been, a tentacle-like appendage stretched across the length of the room, a distance of over twenty feet. It reeled me toward her like a fish on a line. Whatever that
thing was no longer looked human. It melted like an ice statue, with no bones or connective tissue inside, its lips nose and mouth becoming hideously elongated before dripping off in huge globs like melted candlewax. A fire alarm started wailing as the tentacle dragged me through the flames, scorching my arms and legs.
The loose mass of skin reached out and encased me like a mother bird sheltering its eggs.
“WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME?” all my ex’s voices screamed at once. Whichever direction I looked, silhouettes of faces rose and fell, as if trying to burst through. Parts of them dripped inside my mouth, disgustingly warm with a bitter taste worse than Vaseline.
I put everything into clawing my way out if there. What was left of the beast had the consistency of wet clay and came apart just as easily. I tore away chunks until there was a hole large enough to squeeze through. Then, I crawled along surrounded by black smoke.
At the far side of the room I risked a glance back and saw a bumpy, uneven hand reaching out of a puddle of ooze. Soon I was crawling over the bristly welcome mat, then fumbling for the door. All I remember after that are paramedics wrestling me into an ambulance…
A specialist officer came to see me at the hospital the next morning. They’d been unable to contact the homeowner, Gertrude Huyton, and through his line of questioning I could tell they hadn’t found her ‘remains’ inside the charred house. Like the wicked witch of the West, my stalker had melted. I told the officer she said I could stay the night, and that I probably started the fire by dropping a cigarette.
“In that case, we’ll keep trying to reach her.” He walked to the curtain surronding my bed and paused. “Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, her cat is missing.”
“Her...cat?”
“Yeah. The little black one. One of the firemen pulled it out of the wreckage. The poor thing had burns over its legs but it ran off before anybody could take it to the vet.”
I swallowed a gulp and thanked him for telling me.
And now I’m still sitting here listening while nurses rush back and forth,
terrified any one of them might be Gertrude… I was thinking about Hollow Knight again and I found myself pondering why Dirtmouth is named Dirtmouth. IRL places with 'mouth' in the name indicate the mouth of a river, but there is no river anywhere in sight in Dirtmouth, let alone the ocean it would need to empty in to. As far as I can see there are three possible explanations for this.
Firstly what if there once actually was a river Dirt in Dirtmouth. The town does seem to be built in a valley between Kings Pass and Crystal Peak that could have been carved by a river, and the collapsed viaduct to the west could have once been a bridge, but there are obviously some holes in this theory, mainly being why it wouldn't have simply flooded all of Hallownest below? Hallownests water cycle makes a surprising amount of sense (water falls from blue lake into city of tears, drains into waterways and out into fungal wastes, mushrooms decompose waste and water evaporates into fog, rises up through fog canyon into greenpath and queens gardens, must be some stream from greenpath that takes it back to blue lake), adding a whole river and ocean above all this would be complete chaos. Since Dirtmouth has a stag station there must have at least been some settlement there during Halownests prime, meaning if a river once flowed there it would have to have been fairly small by that time (maybe just where the graveyard is now), still I doubt the waterproofing would have been good enough to protect the kingdom below.
We could hypothesize that the river was older than Hallownest and had already long since dried up, in fact I also have a theory that the entire world was once covered in primordial dark waters (explains the prevalence of ammonite fossils, plus world created out of dark waters is a common trope in mythology, the void would likely be the last remnant of these waters after they all drained into the deepest parts of the world) but since such a time would need to be before even the ancient civilization before Hallownest I doubt anyone would remember it enough to name a town after it.
So then there's what I actually think happened, the 'river Dirt' isn't a literal river, it's a metaphor for the endless stream of travelers Elderbug tells us once came to Hallownest before the Kings Pass was closed off. A river of dirt paths, endless winding tributaries all flowing in to Hallownest through Dirtmouth, all roads lead to Rome style.
Option three is Team Cherry just thought it sounded cool and didn't put too much thought into it.
We are renovating a house we just purchased, 4 bed south london. Thinking of adding solar to the roof (east west facing). However we will most likely be converting the loft in 3-4 years by adding a dormer. Is it really stupid to add solar to a roof we know we will have to remove in the future? Will this be quite costly? In terms of the dormer itself, can you add solar panels to a dormer or would we have to design the dormer with a sloped roof.
Finally is a conventual gas combi boiler still the way to go with solar panels or should we be looking at electric boilers?
Many thanks in advance.
Hi hi, relatively new tabletop player with some d&d experience and some pathfinder experience. I’m just seeking out a group in South West / South London to start playing with. Happy to have a phone call before hand to see if we gel etc ❤️
So I am recently coming off of a 10+ year relationship. We had a talk about 2 weeks ago. For the past 2 years the relationship has been causing mental distress on both ends. She is always telling me how unhappy I make her because of my failure to be a good communicator and that I never plan anything for her and shes hurt from the past because she pretty much felt like anytime we went on trips or did things together that I didn't want to be there. She always is consistently bringing up the past no matter what I do.
Now I will say when we would communicate I would get defensive sometimes. Now I would try to plan small things like going to the movies or dinner dates but 9/10 whenever I planned something she usually would be against it and we ended up doing something else. Now I guess the reason for some of my lack of effort in certain aspects was my result of never feeling like I had me time. I'd always put myself last, my job I had at basically the whole relationship before I left was miserable at times, making me stay late, understaffed, always feeling super overworked, as a management employee I went above and beyond at work which I will never do again for another company with poor management above me. I would then come home and spend time with her and try to make up me time at night which would result in me being drained and super tired. I was pretty poor with balance in my life.
Now I have mentally checked out of the relationship probably a couple of months ago and she has to. During our talk I didn't really know what to say because it has been the same talk we always have except she ended up saying she wanted to breakup even though I feel like she didn't want to, now I did try to stay but didn't push the issue because of how miserable I have been. I was putting more effort in but felt like it was useless because she would say to me that she feels like I'm just checking off boxes. Imagine your actually genuinely excited to see someone and they walk around with a stormy cloud on there head after work and say "I feel like you only do these things to check off a box". I can't describe the feeling I get when I'm with her other then it's like she just isn't happy with me and miserable. It's like I can just feel it in the air and over time it's been beating me up mentally.
I also feel like I shouldn't have to sit there and explain what type of man I am and what I have done for her like it's a job interview. I know my worth and all I want is peace. All I hear when we talk is me, me, me, me, me. But I want to talk about how I feel, she brings up the past, and trys to validate the way she feels and her actions and I'm supposed to just take it.
Imagine living with someone who is always just unhappy with you and miserable which in turn makes you miserable as well. She ended up texting me that she loves me and misses me and asked why I didnt fight for the relationship and accepted it. She says shes done chasing me and said I need to man up and try to fix the relationship and she wants to feel like a prize. Now I texted her "go be someone's prize then" and blocked her, before hand she mentioned meeting up as texts can me misconstrued but it's going to be the same thing. I love her deeply but it's hard to fight for someone who makes you feel like they won't have your back. It's also like I'm trying to somewhat do her a favor by letting go which also has been ripping me to pieces. I was thinking of unblocking her and reaching out but now it's kind of awkward as I sent that message and don't know how to go about it. It's been 5 days since I blocked her. I feel bad because I know she's probably hurting and very upset. It's almost like I feel pushed out the door but drawn in, like she has 1 foot in 1 foot out type of thing. Just feels very confusing and the situation is hard. The time away with NC has allowed to somewhat get my thoughts and feelings more organized. Idk what to do.
So I am recently coming off of a 10+ year relationship. We had a talk about 2 weeks ago. For the past 2 years the relationship has been causing mental distress on both ends. She is always telling me how unhappy I make her because of my failure to be a good communicator and that I never plan anything for her and shes hurt from the past because she pretty much felt like anytime we went on trips or did things together that I didn't want to be there. She always is consistently bringing up the past no matter what I do.
Now I will say when we would communicate I would get defensive sometimes. Now I would try to plan small things like going to the movies or dinner dates but 9/10 whenever I planned something she usually would be against it and we ended up doing something else. Now I guess the reason for some of my lack of effort in certain aspects was my result of never feeling like I had me time. I'd always put myself last, my job I had at basically the whole relationship before I left was miserable at times, making me stay late, understaffed, always feeling super overworked, as a management employee I went above and beyond at work which I will never do again for another company with poor management above me. I would then come home and spend time with her and try to make up me time at night which would result in me being drained and super tired. I was pretty poor with balance in my life.
Now I have mentally checked out of the relationship probably a couple of months ago and she has to. During our talk I didn't really know what to say because it has been the same talk we always have except she ended up saying she wanted to breakup even though I feel like she didn't want to, now I did try to stay but didn't push the issue because of how miserable I have been. I was putting more effort in but felt like it was useless because she would say to me that she feels like I'm just checking off boxes. Imagine your actually genuinely excited to see someone and they walk around with a stormy cloud on there head after work and say "I feel like you only do these things to check off a box". I can't describe the feeling I get when I'm with her other then it's like she just isn't happy with me and miserable. It's like I can just feel it in the air and over time it's been beating me up mentally.
I also feel like I shouldn't have to sit there and explain what type of man I am and what I have done for her like it's a job interview. I know my worth and all I want is peace. All I hear when we talk is me, me, me, me, me. But I want to talk about how I feel, she brings up the past, and trys to validate the way she feels and her actions and I'm supposed to just take it.
Imagine living with someone who is always just unhappy with you and miserable which in turn makes you miserable as well. She ended up texting me that she loves me and misses me and asked why I didnt fight for the relationship and accepted it. She says shes done chasing me and said I need to man up and try to fix the relationship and she wants to feel like a prize. Now I texted her "go be someone's prize then" and blocked her, before hand she mentioned meeting up as texts can me misconstrued but it's going to be the same thing. I love her deeply but it's hard to fight for someone who makes you feel like they won't have your back. It's also like I'm trying to somewhat do her a favor by letting go which also has been ripping me to pieces. I was thinking of unblocking her and reaching out but now it's kind of awkward as I sent that message and don't know how to go about it. It's been 5 days since I blocked her. I feel bad because I know she's probably hurting and very upset. It's almost like I feel pushed out the door but drawn in, like she has 1 foot in 1 foot out type of thing. Just feels very confusing and the situation is hard. The time away with NC has allowed to somewhat get my thoughts and feelings more organized. Idk what to do.
Howdy, it seems lots of my friends are busy or not interested in going comic con next weekend. Hence I'm looking for a strictly platonic friend to tag along with me to comic con.
A little about me: INFJ, work full time (mostly from home) within an STEM career. Shy, very introverted (unless I'm comfortable with you then I can be chatty and come off as an extrovert), empathetic and family orientated. I can be silly, cheeky and sassy at times too. I don't drink and I'm not the clubbing/bar type.
My interests:
• Long walks through Central London
• FOOD (I can cook and bake but prefer eating out mostly at Turkish, Japanese, Korean, Thai, Chinese, Mexican, Indian cuisines)
• Heavy metal, hip hop, rap, grime, acoustic but generally listen to anything
• Self care via gym, spa days, retail therapy and long drives
• Movies (psychological thrillers are my favourite)
• West End theatre shows, plays and musicals
• Museum and gallery exhibitions
• Attending eurogamer or comic con
• Anime
• Binging Kdramas
• Video gaming
If you are looking for a new friend in London then please get in touch with a bit about you. Messages with detail appreciated!
Toodles!
Howdy, it seems lots of my friends are busy or not interested in going comic con next weekend. Hence I'm looking for a strictly platonic friend to tag along with me to comic con.
A little about me: INFJ, work full time (mostly from home) within an STEM career. Shy, very introverted (unless I'm comfortable with you then I can be chatty and come off as an extrovert), empathetic and family orientated. I can be silly, cheeky and sassy at times too. I don't drink and I'm not the clubbing/bar type.
My interests:
• Long walks through Central London
• FOOD (I can cook and bake but prefer eating out mostly at Turkish, Japanese, Korean, Thai, Chinese, Mexican, Indian cuisines)
• Heavy metal, hip hop, rap, grime, acoustic but generally listen to anything
• Self care via gym, spa days, retail therapy and long drives
• Movies (psychological thrillers are my favourite)
• West End theatre shows, plays and musicals
• Museum and gallery exhibitions
• Attending eurogamer or comic con
• Anime
• Binging Kdramas
• Video gaming
If you are looking for a new friend in London then please get in touch with a bit about you. Messages with detail appreciated!
Toodles!