Important news

This is an incremental update over the 1.12.0-preview and includes several breaking changes.
View the Migration Guide for details on how to prepare for the update.
Also, several new features require having a modern web browser that supports CSS Nesting. If you experience visual glitches - update your browser and/or operating system to the latest available version.
External media in chats is now blocked by default. Enable it manually if required.

Improvements

• Migrated to a new format for user data storage and added support for user accounts. See the documentation: Users.
• Implemented the Data Bank: a method for adding external sources of LLM knowledge. See the documentation: Data Bank.
• Added vLLM as a Text Completion source and Groq as a Chat Completion source
• Added new models from OpenAI (GPT-4o), PerplexityAI (Llama 3 Sonar), and Google (Gemini Flash 1.5).
• Added an ability to select OpenRouter providers in both API modes.
• TabbyAPI: added min_tokens and banned_strings parameters.
• LlamaCpp: allowed JSON schema usage (conflicts with grammar).
• Added the AI assistant contest winner character card (Sakana) to the "Download Extensions & Assets" menu and first run onboarding dialog. There you can also view and download past contest winners.
• World Info improvements: added ability to activate entries using the Vector Storage extension, Example Messages insertion position, weighted and scored inclusion groups, prioritized entries in inclusion groups, support for multiple inclusion groups per entry, ability to delay the entry evaluation until the first recursion step, regular expression type for the entry key, entry duplication, and many more. See the documentation: World Info.
• Settings are now backed up automatically every 10 minutes instead of on startup. Increased the limit of snapshots to 50 per user.
• Added Llama 3 model tokenizer. Claude tokenizer is now initialized lazily.
• Added instruct/context templates for the Phi model, and variants of Llama 3 and ChatML with message names inclusion.
• The "Advanced search" option now sorts the search results by relevance.
• Tags & Folders: added the ability to show only or hide folders. Added a toggle for alphabetical tag sorting.
• Added the ability to hide avatar images in the chat. Reorganized User Settings menu.
• Added the ability to import from AICharacterCards.com and generic URLs using the external import dialog.
• Added a quality setting for image inlining in Chat Completion.
• Forwarded IP whitelisting: can now be disabled with a configuration option.
• Added a console script for server plugin management.
• Various localization improvements.

STscript

• A brand new parser with support for closures, auto-complete, and syntax highlighting. See the documentation: STscript.
• Added a "negative" argument to the /imagine slash command.
• Added "role" and "hidden" arguments to the /messages slash command.
• Added optional "name" argument to the /send slash command.
• Added the /renamechat slash command.
• /summarize can now summarize any text, not just the chat messages.
• /sendas old syntax is now deprecated. Use the new syntax: /sendas name= .

Extensions

• Image Generation: added new NovelAI model, prompt prefixes now support macros.
• Vector Storage: added settings for WI activation and Data Bank inclusion.
• Chat Translation: added an option to translate user input text.
• TTS: MsEdgeTTS is now supported via the server-side plugin. Added a universal playback speed setting.
• Regex: added an ability to run Regex on the WI entries.
• Macros: added {{char_version}}, {{timeDiff}} macros.
• Added more downloadable extensions to the "Download Extensions & Assets" menu. Check them out!

Bug fixes

• Fixed InfermaticAI non-streamed response parsing.
• Fixed start.sh script to allow starting the server from any directory on Mac.
• Fixed a vertical alignment of zoomed avatars in visual novel mode on phones.
• Fixed the main prompt being purged from the prompt manager when disabled.
• Fixed the "Replace/Update card" function with UTF-8 characters in the filter name.
• Fixed text copy not working on messages hidden from the prompt.
• Fixed whole-word WI search to include punctuation and other non-alphanumeric characters.
• Fixed Trigger% being displayed as 0% when imported from external lorebooks.
• Fixed the "Narrate translated" option not working with TTS.
• Fixed first message regeneration on character modification if the message was edited.
• Fixed boolean values matching when searching for WI entries with /findentry.
• Fixed custom ordering of WI entries being able to sort past the header element.
• Fixed auto-selection of settings presets by name match (now requires an exact match instead of partial).
• Fixed multiswipe interaction with response streaming.

https://github.com/SillyTavern/SillyTavern/releases/tag/1.12.0
How to update: https://docs.sillytavern.app/usage/update/

About a year ago I caught her messaging old flings and exes behind my back. I called her out, she kinda apologized (I have to ask for apologies), and said it wouldn't happen again. Well fast forward to today, she hasn't contacted her ex again but she is still talking to old flings. She is told one how he has cute freckles and how they should play games together. This hurts because I was wondering why she hasn't asked me to play with her lately.
She would tell those boys about our sex life and how she misses them btw. I am literally looking at an old message where she says, "I don't wanna say no i just can't" THEN ASKS WHY HE HASN'T VISITED HIS SON (her cat) AND TALKS AB WHEN SHES FREE AND WHEN I WONT BE THERE. I don't think anything happened, this was a long time ago, but I am just now finding it and it's driving me crazy. I had my suspicions because I saw an old fling of her's on her notifications a couple days ago. Not too long ago I found out she was texting another fling WHILE WE WERE DRINKING IN MY BEDROOM, telling him how she was thinking about him. We hooked up that night and I felt disgusted after I found out she was messaging him that.
Anyways, HOW DO I GET OUT. I feel stupid as fuck for giving her another chance and not ending it a year ago. She has made me a worse man, pushed me away from family, and I've lost sight of my goals from pouring everything into this relationship. We just signed a one year lease and idk what to do. We have animals together and I pretty much provide everything for her.
TLDR I am unhappy in my relationship and don't know how to get out.

My ex of 6 years broke up with me last week Friday very randomly and completely blindsided me. They moved out that night and took most of their clothes but still have a lot of things here and there at my place. When they dumped me, they said “can we talk?” But then just told me, “I wanna breakup” if didn’t feel like a conversation, more like he has news to share. All I said was “I didn’t expect this I’m so shocked and idk what to say… you aren’t asking me to talk or work through some of your concerns you are just telling me how you feel so all I can do is accept and appreciate your honesty.”
They left after that and I stepped out not wanting to breakdown and sob while they were there. That first night I called at night because hours later I wanted to ask all the questions, problem solve, I was confused and felt angry and hurt that they held this for a couple of weeks instead of trying to communicate with me. They didn’t answer cause it was late but the next day when they reached out just wondering if I had called, I said yes but nvm because I just wanted to respect his choice even if it was hard for me.
The week goes by and they reach out Wednesday to “see how I’m doing “ through text. They called and I didn’t answer. I didn’t respond cause I didn’t know what to say. I felt like I was just gonna explode all my feelings in a crazy text if I tried to articulate my thoughts and feelings or cry and beg them not to walk out on us on the phone.
Friday night they text again, saying they just wanna check-in and see how I’m doing, they hope I’m taking care of myself and they say they are off the next two days and to let them know if they can call me to see how I’m doing.
The problem is I never wanted to breakup, if I had a choice, I would stare every issue in the face and try to do the work on my end that was necessary to heal/communicate.
I don’t get it why is my ex reaching out like this acting concerned after the fact they broke up with me? They didn’t bother asking or being concerned the last 2 weeks of the relationship so now that I’m not his to worry about why is he trying to do the overtime? My ex was never the best at clear communication, they are avoidant and I am closer to anxious (just a bit more secure) I just feel like what can I say anymore? It’s already over and and although the message behind the text is one of “care and concern” it feels incredibly selfish and insensitive, part of me feels like they are just trying to satisfy their needs still (framed as thinking about me) when it’s probably more about assuaging their guilt. TL:dr : Why is my ex reaching out to “check-in” a week after he broke up with me?

Rant: I am sick of this job and I cannot wait to graduate from my classes soon
I’ve been promised 2 positions, men’s and kids coordinator. SM promised me back in November it was mine and a lady would come in and talk to me, never happened. They hired a new coordinator for that position he quit less than a month later 😭 (good for him tbh) and then they told me I’d be captain of the markdown team, again never got that position lmao. On top of that 2 markdown ladies (older than me) complain I’m always on my phone almost every morning and it’s so fucking annoying. God bless my coworker (she’s not on markdown team but she runs the clothing racks from the back) vouches for me and tells the managers that they’re lying and I do my job. WHICH I DO??? I mean I use my phone but who doesn’t? When I do markdowns I listen to YouTube videos or listen to music because it helps me focus get the job done quickly. Sure I understand that it looks like I’m on my phone but I’m either picking a song, picking a YouTube video, or texting my boyfriend who conveniently works at a dealer ship next door. That’s about it, it’s hypocritical because EVERYONE there uses their phone and sometimes make loud phone calls. I don’t know why they solely target me. One of my managers even check how many scans per hour I do and I’m always the one who gets more and most out of my markdown group, and that manager agrees that I do more work than them and they talk shit out of their ass.
On top of that I won a $10 giftcard and have not received eived it. I asked and they just played stupid and ignored me…if you gave it away just tell me, it’s fine cuz it’s only $10. Also I got pulled into the managers office and got lectured for being late and tardy from OCTOBER to now (may) and added up its 8 in total…meaning I was tardy 3 times and called out 5 times which i have good reasons too. My classes, I’m sick, or my mom had to go to the hospital because she’s sick, or because I had to get sutures. Good reasons if you ask me and people also pick up my shift when I let the managers know..and I show them any paper work from doctors or other documents to prove I was sick or at my biopsy. It’s not fair my other coworkers can call out and be late and not get reprimanded. I hate this job this job so much and will not give them my 2 week notice when I leave.

So Ive been completely into a coworker as we get along and she’s so friendly! The issue is I dont know if its mutual. Pretty sure the woman is straight. Which I’m totally cool with! Will someone confirm this for me? We are virtual. On one of our meetings I wore a dress and was self conscious. When she joined the zoom call, she mentioned that I look cute. there was a slight hesitation in her voice saying it (did i not look cute??). I told her I felt a bit overdressed and we continued talk about work ..blah blah blah..when I went to stop sharing my screen, I laughed at my reflection and she noticed that! she asked, “You look so good, huh?" to which I completely denied.. . ”no! i feel so ridiculous in this getup!” I burst into uncontrollable laughter..i could hear her chuckle too. Towards the end of the call, she says that it was a really great session and messages me a few hours later about the material she finished. I replied: Thank you!!! im still mad at you for leaving my team but ill heal lol. anyway, nice seeing you today! ~i know - desperate- have you made it to this far? ill spark notes our other “cute” moments. She said she was outspoken. When I said I’m the opposite, she replied "oh you're softspoken? that just means we need to hang out more" she also mentioned that she loves listening to peoples problems, and she was a therapist in another life. when i said that I couldnt imagine doing that, she replied, "i want to just tell people like just ask her out already!” Then more recently, she says before our meeting "slack me at 1:15 and if i dont answer call me (she inserts her phone number). i refuse to miss our meeting" I reply "will do and its ok if you dont make it!" She replies "nope i'll be there, sometimes i get caught with other meeting " then slacks him at 1:04 im out! I hearted her message T_T So in summary, we laugh a lot. about nothing literally. I’m pretty certain she is straight but i can’t help but wondehope that some of her friendliness is interest sometimes. Pretty clueless. Your thoughts PLs!

As it stands the current system sucks because of how they introduced it. Body armor IRL works because it protects vital organs, and most nonprotected areas are cute little fleshy skin places, the issue in Tarkov is that the whole thorax seems to be a vital organ, but still only takes the position of normal real-life armor sets protecting center mass vital organs. A lot of this is already known my question. Would you prefer the armor system to be reverted, or they could go back to armor just flat protecting the whole body thorax but with all the new features they added, instead of just the plate, it that whole area all around, so level 6 back plate protects the entire back of your thorax and if the rig goes far enough down, your stomach as well, and the same for all places around like sides protect whole side, front protects the whole front. in short, regardless of visible protection sizing and what it looks like, the entirety of your thorax is protected as long as the plate is in. OR Do we want the system added onto? rather than the half message BSG gave us, they go fully in, giving us actual vital organs, making organs vs fleshy spots a place. if I get shot in my shoulder it won't kill me like if you shot my rib. this would make armor much more useful, if you watch streamers you see them running around with level 3 rigs with no plate, the weight to protection isn't worth it IMO, and clearly to others. Something else they could do is make the thorax break into 2 spots, outer and inner thorax, you'd have to heal each individually giving the outside like 60 health, and inside like 40, the only way to get to it is without armor or penetration. maybe they could also give a 100% bleed chance if you penetrate the chest, cause let's be honest, if a bullet goes through your chest and ribs there's gonna be a lot of blood.
tell me your thoughts, maybe you have a different idea to add to this.

My nmom emailed me (28F) for the first time after 6 years of no contact. Picture the longest email you’ve ever received and multiply that by ten. Thats how long this email was. It would take hours to read. I foolishly reached out to her on Mother’s Day after being sad and alone. All I said was happy Mother’s Day I hope you’re doing okay.
A little background my mom was highly abusive to me as a child mentally. I’m an only child. She once made me pack my Barbie suitcase when I was 7 and drove me to the police station saying if my attitude didn’t stop that she was going to give me up and I’d never see her or my family again. She completely alienated me from my dad who I didn’t meet until I was 14 after I found him on Facebook. I got pregnant in highschool and she convinced me that my boyfriend was abusive and tried to alienate him in the same way that she alienated my dad. She did a lot of other really terrible shit in my 23 years but I won’t bring all that up.
I won’t read her email. I read the first two sentences and one or two after some of the bolded and red coloured headings. She has not changed. Somehow she managed to get worse which I didn’t think was possible. 😆 Blaming me for things I did wrong when I was four years old lol Blaming me for her cancer she had 9 years ago and if it comes back “that’s on your head”. It’s wild how she still thinks this way.
In the end it gave me closure. She stopped answering my texts 6 years ago and I eventually stopped reaching out. But she still claims I was the one who cut off contact and stole her grandchild from her.
If you’ve gone full no contact keep in mind that if you do reach out this could happen. Narcissists almost never change. I’m happy that after years of therapy, that I’m still in, I was able to respond in the way I did. She lives off of reactions and that’s what I used to always give her. I’m glad I’m genuinely okay after that email and that I’m even able to laugh at how delusional she is. Going no contact was the best thing I ever did and I’m glad I got closure.
Here was my response:
“Judging by the first two sentences you're not ready to take full accountability for everything starting from the time I was born until 2018. I am ready to take accountability for everything. However, I will not be reading this email. It seems as though you are still focusing on the past and blaming me for everything.
I wanted to try to communicate to move past everything that has happened. I understand that Our relationship will never be the same. But I wanted to work toward moving on.
When you're ready to move forward I will gladly talk to you. The ball is in your court. But I stand firm on my boundaries of it being a safe and respectful conversation. I am deleting this email now.
Take care and I do genuinely hope you're doing okay.”

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/TASoDHype posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 16th May 2024
Update - 17th May 2024
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AITAH for leaving my fiancée after I learned there were strippers at her bachelorette party?
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What the title reads basically. I(29M) and my ex-fiancée(29F) were together for 5 years. We should have been married now in the normal conditions but I broke up with her and cancelled the wedding 2 days before it because they invited male strippers to bachelorette party. I am personally not a fan of these parties but reluctantly agreed after both groom & bride side confirmed we would keep it simple. I told my ex-fiancée I am not comfortable with strippers or other kind of crazy things. She agreed. I also told my friends if they were to do a stupid thing without me knowing, we would have problems.
We stayed at my friends' summer house and chilled there by the pool, did some wow raids and played board games. My ex-fiancée and her friends went to a restaurant then rented an airbnb. There was no problem during the night and next day I asked how things went. She and her close friends said it was really chill and good. We returned to the city centre after that.
I encountered another bridesmaid that day when I was shopping for a bracelet for my ex-fiancée for her upcoming birthday. I asked that girl how's everything as we were in the same department at the college but rarely talk now. She is closer with my fiancée than me. She said it's going good and last night was crazy with all the strippers. After saying that she looked uncomfortable. I asked her about the details but she was not willing to tell much. I think she realized she should not have talked about it. I laughed, said goodbye and left.
I confronted my fiancée and she seemed surprised about it. She was denying it first, then told me nothing crazy happened and one of the bridesmaids invited strippers. I reminded her that it was a strict boundary for me. I asked about the details but she said there was nothing much with strippers just solo dances and that's it. I told her I need some time to think.
Almost all of the bridesmaids messaged me ensuring nothing happened when I was on my way back home(definitely not coordinated). Things happened after that but in the end I decided to break up and cancel the wedding. I lost some money since it was only 2 days before the wedding. Things are not cool right now. My head is messed up, I get criticism from everyone and no idea about what to do. My sister told me to see a therapist to process my thoughts and feelings. That is what I'll do next. Some mutuals suggested me that I should reconsider things and stop being so whiny about such a small thing. I do not think it's such a small thing especially when they all tried to hide it from me.
AITAH here?
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Comments
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tasty-horse-paste
This is strangely similar to something that happened recently on 90 day fiancé.
Edit: A lot of people saying disagreements about strippers etc. is common, which sure, but it was the detail about playing MMO games by the pool at the bachelor party that got my attention. But I'm not saying OP's story is fake; it just reminded me of the 90 day thing.
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former_farmer
Because this happens a lot. Some people think that cheating in the bachelorette party is correct. It's so dumb.
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boredathome1962
NTA. "It was crazy with all the strippers" is hugely different from "it was really chill and good". This isn't just lying, this is a total reversal of the truth. Even her "it was just solo dances" is not the same as "crazy". So they are lying, all of them, except the first one.

OOP: Everyone is telling different things. One person says it was crazy, my ex says it was just solo dance, another person says it was different. I do not know whom to believe to be honest and that's one of the reasons I lost trust here. Apparently, the stripper was naked and that even alone is a dealbreaker for me. There is no way for me to know what happened that night and why she did not even bother with calling me or telling me about it.

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**Judgement - NTA*\*
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Update - 1 days later
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TL;DR: Bitter truth was revealed bit by bit. Ex-fiancée had sexual interaction with a stripper. It's therapy time.
I read most of the comments in the original post and thank you for the advice. My problem was that not her being blindsided by her friends but lying. Every bridesmaid told different things and none of them gave details about what happened. I believe you can understand it just shatters the trust and makes you think there is something going on.
I thought there was something wrong with me after reading the comments. There were a lot of YTAs and I thought I should apologize. One of the bridesmaid reached out to me last evening. I suspect she saw the post somewhere and recognized it. I knew my fiancée was having problems with her friends since last week but I did not know the extent.
Apparently, my ex-fiancée and her close friends blamed the girl that I encountered at mall about everything. This divided the group and led into a verbal fight. I will skip the personal details here but in the end she told me my ex-fiancée and other bridesmaids got sexual with the strippers. My fiancée was the only one who had boyfriend/fiancée/spouse(at least monogamously) there to my knowledge. Also, I was told by her that my ex-fiancée was not blindsided with stripper invites. She was happy to see the strippers and was relieved she had an excuse. I do not have proof for all of these but I got a short video of girls making out with strippers. One of the girls is my ex-fiancée and that's enough.
She has been trying to reach out to me since we broke up. I confronted her again. At first, she denied it again then it became we just touched, then okay we kissed too, okay I gave him a handjob, finally I was coerced into doing these by others as I pressed on. I just blocked her after the last part. I did not see any need to learn further. I was hurt already but learning that I got cheated on hurt more. I am not sure if it's the full truth even now. I will never know but all I can say is it hurts. I will go to a therapist to not carry my luggage to my next relationship. I lost 15K from the wedding related things and need to focus on filling the hole for a while.
Some misogynists made weird comments about women and I'll just ignore them. Some of the people told me I am an insecure, unfunny nerd for playing WoW on my bachelor party. Isn't the whole point of bachelor parties having "one last fun". It was raiding non-stop with the boys for me, not having one last sexual interaction with a stranger or having a stranger's butt on my face or penis. I will not miss on out these during marriage anyways(omitting the stranger part).
That's it. It's therapy time tomorrow and thank you for the help.
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Comments
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scotswaehey
I will never understand why people like your Ex Fiancée throw it all away for one night
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BigBlackBlasphemer
Not just that, the whole group had banded together in solidarity to lie.
If it wasn't for one person, they would've gotten away with it, while gaslighting OP the whole time
I hope all those votes calling OP, an AH rightly feel like DA's.
15k and a cancelled wedding is still LOADS better than divorce after the fact. You're doing the absolute right thing.
Also, I AM petty enough to blast her publicly with receipts if she wants to play the victim and make me look like the bad guy.
And the first person I'll send the video of her cheating to is her Dad. See how she likes those apples
PSA: Don't be the simp guy who didn't want to send his "wife" to jail after everyone caught her trying to poison him with bleach in the coffee machine.
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SuccessfulSeaweed385
I had a lan party at my bachelor party and it was awesome. Fuck the haters and screw your ex. NTA.
FarquaadStoleMyWig
My brothers bachelor party was pizza, flip cup, and halo reach on system linked Xbox’s. Fucken best night ever
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

This thread is for code giveaways that only a single or few people can use. Some specific examples would be unique codes for Shoppers Drug Mart, Sephora, free Ipsy bags, FabFitFun starter boxes, etc.
This thread should not be used for general sale codes that anyone can use (those can be posted to the subreddit as a standalone post or to our sales post) and referral codes are not allowed.
​
If you have any suggestions on how the text of this post could be better, or anything else you'd like to see here, please message the mod team

Originally posted in selfimprovement. Thought this sub might get me some additional advice.
Long story short: I broke up with my boyfriend because he didn't get a damn about me (never called, texted, forgot my bday etc). The other 3 friends in the group, all males, stayed friends with him but not with me. I also had 2 best friends, one joined a cult (yeah... ik). Now I just have 1 best friend and some acquaintances from university or work.
I have also been working 60h/week for the past 3 years so now I don't have hobbies or interests anymore.
Now I work less and go to a new university. How else can I make some friends? How can I discover my interests and find out what I like? I feel like nothing interests me anymore. If it was for me I would just doom scroll on my phone, bring my dog out, study and work on my computer.
Additional info: I am going to therapy for all this situation. It's exam season now, so I'm not actively attending class, just studying for exams at home or in the library.

I, (39f) have a friend who's going through some relationship stuff with her boyfriend. Let's call her Sasha and her boyfriend Donald. Donald found some not so friendly text in Sasha's phone to another guy. He freaked out (understandable) !!! Sasha denied anything happened outside of those texts, and they're taking it from there to try and work it out. Donald is best friends (since childhood) with my cousins baby mother. So here's where I might've been the AH. My cousin told me that his child's mother told him that Saha and Donald broke up because Sasha actually did cheat and that she also stole a substantial amount of money from Donald. Let it be known that my cousins bm is known for being a habitual liar. Everyone knows this. Even though my cousin told me this in confidence, I told Sasha. Sasha was pissed and told Donald what his best friend said. Donald called the best friend and lit into her ass like a roaring fire. The best friend, in turn, called my cousin, cussing him out for telling me. Was I wrong for telling Sasha what she said? Even if it is true, why is she going around telling people this? Why would you purposely spread your best friends business around like that? My cousin is pissed at me and said I should've kept my mouth shut😔. So AITAH!!??

Long story short: I broke up with my boyfriend because he didn't get a damn about me (never called, texted, forgot my bday etc). The other 3 friends in the group, all males, stayed friends with him but not with me. I also had 2 best friends, one joined a cult (yeah... ik). Now I just have 1 best friend and some acquaintances from university or work.
I have also been working 60h/week for the past 3 years so now I don't have hobbies or interests anymore.
Now I work less and go to a new university. How else can I make some friends? How can I discover my interests and find out what I like? I feel like nothing interests me anymore. If it was for me I would just doom scroll on my phone, bring my dog out, study and work on my computer.
Additional info: I am going to therapy for all this situation. It's exam season now, so I'm not actively attending class, just studying for exams at home or in the library.

This is a throwaway. I know the title probably sounds bad but here's some backstory.
I (19M) am in a queer polyamorous relationship with my boyfriend (22M) and girlfriend (20F), who are both also polyam. I've been with my BF for almost 3 years now, and my GF for 3 months. Let's call my GF "Leah". My BF and GF aren't involved with each other and both have their own respective partners. Overall, we are in a healthy polyamorous relationship and everyone has consented / are more than okay with our current arrangement.
Here's the problem. Leah has a GF (19F) of 3 years (let's call her Sue), and for the duration of knowing Leah in general (6 months), she's cried to me and complained about how emotionally abusive Sue is to her. Sue guilt trips, lies and emotionally manipulates Leah constantly. Making her feel bad about having other partners when Sue was the one who suggested having an open relationship. Almost every week, there's something new going on with Sue and I have to be there to pick up the pieces. I'll never be tired of comforting my Leah, but I despise Sue for making her go through this so often and so much.
Yes, of course I've asked her to break it up with Sue, but they have some sort of trauma bond apparently, making leaving very difficult. If you were in an abusive relationship (I personally have), you'd understand. I understand, though it doesn't mean I like the idea.
A thing to note is that Leah has mentioned her clear favoritism towards me. It's definitely not bragworthy, to tell your partner you love them over their other partner but in the case of one being abusive I suppose it can be excused. Another thing to note is the fact that Leah has mentioned Sue more often than not tends to start fights with Leah's friends out of jealousy and being insecure.
I've never taken an interest in being Sue's friend. I've made my disdain clear to Leah. But, I was wondering if I should try to befriend Sue - I already am aware that Sue dislikes me, but will definitely put up appearances if I approached her (has happened in the few times I've spoken to her). Seeing how she generally behaves, as well as everything Leah has told me.. there's no doubt that Sue will cause trouble with me at some point. I've seen people like her before, and I just know that we will have clashes. We've already had a minor disagreement over text before. It'll only be a matter of time before it escalates into something that'll give me an excuse to cut her off.
On the other hand, Leah hates conflicts. It's one of the main reasons she refuses to leave Sue. She's made it clear that she doesn't want me standing up for her even when it's something as bad as gaslighting and our right emotional torture. I don't want to put her through something that will trigger her but she's with an abusive person! How am I, as her boyfriend supposed to just ignore the fact that she's being constantly emotionally abused by this bitch with an audacity and a victim complex?
So instead of stirring conflict, I'll just befriend Sue, knowing that Sue will definitely start something eventually. Leah will be made to see that Sue hurting someone she loves instead of just her, and I really hope that would help her let go of this person (and the fact that Leah prefers me over Sue might help). It's something that's helped me before (my BF didn't do it on purpose like I am, but my ex partner used to be like Sue and ended up hurting him so I left the ex).
WIBTAH if I did this? Is it weird or manipulative if I did? If it is, is there anything I could do to potentially get Sue away from Leah? Please remember that I haven't actually done anything yet, I'm just asking for advice on this situation. Excuse my English too, I'm not a native speaker.

My (35F) best friend Emma (35F) has been with her BF Mark (38M) for about 8 months.
During their short relationship, Emma has caught Mark messaging other attractive women on Instagram asking to meet up and being flirtatious.
The final straw came around Jan where Mark was caught IG messaging a woman from the gym. Emma confronted him and he messaged the woman saying "I can't talk to you anymore because my girlfriend won't let me 🙄". Very disrespectful. Emma took a break from him.
Problem is, they were due to move in together in Jan too. So Emma was stressing about how she gave her roommate notice to allow Mark to move in and now she's not sure because he's been messaging other women but can't afford the rent on her own.
Emma finds out at the same time.. She is PREGNANT. Emma decided to forgive Mark and let him move in on the basis that he unfollows women on IG and stops messaging women unless they are a known female friend. And he promised he did not actually do anything physical cheating wise.
Cut to my dilemma : this weekend was their baby gender reveal party. My friend Emma tagged Mark in the reveal photos on IG. I have realised that Mark's IG profile was public on Friday, but had been made private as soon as the baby related tags to his profile happened.
There could be innocent reasons for this but given his history it seems sketchy to me? Maybe Mark wants to message with women on IG without them seeing his girlfriend and baby on the way?
I don't think I can bring this up to Emma with so little proof of bad behaviour and don't want to stress her out unnecessarily. But I think it's so weird to have a public profile and then make it private as soon as he is tagged in their baby scan and gender reveal photos.
What do you think? Is there anything I can do to get more solid proof he is being sneaky?
Tldr : friends boyfriend has made his Instagram account private suddenly after she tagged him in their baby scan and gender reveal photos. I think this is odd when he has a history of messaging women on IG.

I have been with my partner for almost ten years. When we first stated dating, we spent a lot of time with his best friend and his girlfriend. Then they broke up and we didn't see her at all. We hadn't become close yet and I personally don't use social media so we didn't have a way to connect.
Then they got back together. The four of us did a lot of things together and me and the girlfriend became close. I really admired her and was happy to have found a new friend. I went through a horrible trauma and lost some old friends because of it so I felt pretty lonesome. It was hard not to blame myself for losing friends but therapy helped me see it wasn't my fault. The trauma, too, forced me to get sober. So I lost acquaintances and had to sort of reconfigure my whole social scene. I was happy to have this woman in my life.
At a point, they broke up again. She had expressed sadness about feeling villainized in the last break up, so I pointedly tried to be supportive of her. Since we spent a lot of time together as a couple, I was able to offer insights into how her relationship was perceived from the outside. In the end I told her she deserved better, not that he was bad, but that if he wasn't giving her what she felt she truly wanted, she should move on.
Her birthday came and two weeks before, as a gift, I paid for her ticket to an event. She canceled at the last second because her ex had planned something for her for her birthday. Fine.
Then her birthday proper came and I texted her, asked if she had plans. She said, "I'm having a party tonight. You should come if you want."
I was really sad. She hadn't told me about the party previously and she had obviously planned for it. Again, I don't use social media and I know oftentimes plans are made there, but combined with the last minute cancelation and no rain check or sympathy for having wasted my money, I was a little offended. I said I was busy and didn't go to the party.
I'm the kind of person who doesn't want to grovel for friends. I felt like these were two instances of quietly telling me she doesn't care to be around me. So I backed off. I may have texted her once or twice after that, but not again. And she never messaged me again.
A few months later, the male of the couple invited us to his lakehouse. She wasn't able to come. But once we got there, she ended up coming anyway. I was smoking weed the whole time and just going with the flow but the second we got in the car to go home, my partner was like, "What an icy bitch." He mentioned some times when he felt like she was being a little mean to me and looking back, yeah, she was.
It's been 18 months now and both of us avoid being around them because we don't want to be around her. I can't for my life think of how I may have offended her. In fact, I'm the one feeling offended because I went out of my way to support her during her breakup. I got her a very meaningful gift when she got her own place and checked in with her often to see how she was feeling.
Well. They're getting married. And I don't want to go. My partner says I'm holding a grudge. And maybe I am. But I don't really want to be around people who have made it clear they don't want to be around me. Am I wrong? I'm fine with going to save face, but I don't want to.
TLDR: Couple friend broke up, I supported her during the breakup. They got back together and she basically dumped me. Now I'm expected to go to their wedding.

Hi! I (22F) moved back in with my parent around 6 months ago due to some sudden financial issues that came up. Before then, I’d been living with a roommate (30F) that I’d met at work and we were sharing the monthly bills that came with our apartment.
I initially had some doubts about moving back in with my parent because we had never been close and I knew there was some personality differences. For example, my parent is VERY messy and doesn’t clean anything which leads to me feeling depressed when I don’t have the time to clean up every day due to working long shifts so the house just builds up a mess and by the weekend, it’s almost overwhelming.
Furthermore, my sister (30F) also moved back in with my parent a few months after I did and tends to send me long text messages about the house if it’s not cleaned instead of doing it herself. Plus, her being there means that someone is always having to be blocked in because the small driveway outside my parent’s house was only made for two cars. This wouldn’t be a problem except my sister parks at the very end of the driveway to make sure she can’t get blocked in, which leaves me no where to park but behind my parent. This makes him incredibly angry and he went as far as to say I better be careful before he hits my car.
Now, for the point of this post, I complained to my fiance about some of these points (and a few more I don’t want to put online) and he thinks that the answer is to move in with him and his family until our wedding to be able to save money and also be away from my parent and sister. I’m not so sure this is a good idea because I don’t want to be a burden to his family and also, I’m worried the dynamics will cause strain to our relationship.
TLDR: my family sucks to live with, my fiance suggested I move in with him and his.

I’m not sure if this can go in this community, I’ve never used it but Reddit asked me to pick one to post in, so hopefully this works out.
TLDR at the bottom
Hello, I don’t ever really post here, I mainly use it to read stories or cheer myself up a bit after a hard day. But, today is different. We live in NY, that may be important later on.
So, the other day, my boyfriend and I went out with some friends. We ate and I ended up getting food poisoning, I was supposed to go in at 11am today but unfortunately couldn’t due to my current illness that will pass. My boyfriend texted me this morning, his message stated that our boss cut back our hours from 5 days a week to 2 days (for me) and 3 days (for him). Please keep in mind that our boss is the same woman who will praise us to our faces then turn around and attempt to pin all of our co-workers against us. This is also the same woman who attempted to frame me of stealing money, which I didn’t do and she fired the one who did it, but she still insists that I cannot be trusted and that I am “lazy” and “incapable of hard work”. I work in a gas station deli, by no means is that “hard work”. I worked in two different restaurants, both were quite popular where I used to live.
Not only has my boss consistently degraded myself, my boyfriend, and the only diligent works; but she also consistently claims that she does everything. This woman comes in for 3 1/2 hours, makes some weird looking/smelling food that only two people get, makes a mess out of the entire deli and hot food sections, refuses to do her dishes, acts as though every one else is in the wrong for coming to work. She is also now attempting to get me in trouble for my physical issues (that have gone undiagnosed due to medical professional ignorance and parental neglect (father’s side)), acting as if they’re not real and treating me like I’m making it up “just so I don’t have to work”. If that was the case, I wouldn’t work there.
I started working there in late January, early February and this woman has nonstop proven that she should not be in charge. She promoted myself and my boyfriend to supervisors and gave us a raise, we haven’t gotten our raise and she likes to tell us we have no authority and that we can’t do anything. At this point, I am genuinely lost with what to do. My boyfriend and I are looking for good jobs that pay us way more, we only make minimum wage and in the economy, we can’t afford ANYTHING. I can’t even get insurance or start working towards my financial goals because of this woman.
I do not feel as though it is legal to almost completely knock someone’s schedule because they missed one day. My boyfriend hasn’t missed any days recently so his schedule being docked hours makes no sense. If mine was knocked a day or two, that would make sense to me. But taking more than half of my work week away because you have a silly vendetta that YOU concocted, that doesn’t make any sense to me. I have over 50 files collected of all that has been said and does as well as witnesses if I need them, but any regulatory advice would be HIGHLY appreciated.
TLDR: My boss is on a power trip at our convenience store and is cutting my hours because I got sick, as well as creating many issues between myself and other co-workers. What do I do?
Edit: this is the same woman who will get very angry with me or any of our co-workers for asking a question or trying to explain ourselves, she won’t even let us get a word in and just berates us for USUALLY no reason.
Edit two: I was recently informed that she (my boss) was fired from another location for doing the same thing she’s doing at our current place of work. I also got a comment about Walmart manager training, she worked at Walmart so that explains a bit for me.

I M34 am in a relationship with my gf F31 for 9 months now. I’m well educated, very successful, come from a good family, but was in a split home with extreme and traumatic childhood. My gf was raised by a drug addict mother and doesn’t know her father. Went from foster home to foster home. Never had stability in her life, only had drug addict boyfriend that mistreated her. She also was very promiscuous and had multiple relationships at the same time.
Since we started dating I revolved my entire life around her being there 24/7, providing for her financially, taking care of her kids, even helping clean the house while she sat at home and struggled to do much due to her mental health (borderline personality disorder). Things were good she gave me bursts of love and attention and when they were good they were great. As soon as we had a fight though she’d flip my whole life upside down. Call me names, put me down, attack my character, tell me shes only with me for the money and the sex. She’s very negative and extremely judgmental and usually misjudges all scenarios around her. Her mood is up and down constantly and she always wants to leave me as soon as we fight only to ask me to come back shortly after. She forgets all the good times right away and exaggerates everything negatively. Goes from loving me saying that we are not compatible and that she doesn’t like my personality. Lately she’s been jumping to text other guys right after a fight/break up. She’s also been saying that she wants to go back to having 7 boyfriends. I wasnt innocent in all this. I also retaliated verbally and was very hurtful at times. it was all in the heat of the moment and to defend myself more so than attack her.
Why do I stay? Because I love her and want to give her and her kids a better life. Because I see her struggling with these problems with all her friendships including her mother. Because I’ve invested time and money and planned a future with her. Because i don’t take offence to her insults when she’s angry because no one in their right mind would act like that. I feel stuck and don’t know what to do. Do i stay and try to make it work, or do I give up on her and move on? We had amazing periods where we were in so much love together. I don’t want to give up on that and let her ruin her life. I feel like leaving her is equivalent to me letting a drunk drive. I don’t know what to do.

I met Luna on a train two years ago. I’d just escaped from a toxic relationship, so romance was the last thing on my mind, but then she sat across from me in the carriage and asked about the book I was reading. She had a copy in her bag and wanted to know if it was any good.
I'd never felt such an instant, effortless connection with anybody before. I took a chance and asked her to dinner, and by the time the waiters cleared away our desserts, I already felt comfortable being vulnerable around her. So we went on a second date. And a third. And next thing I knew, we were planning our second anniversary.
In all that time she never gave off any 'creeper' vibes. Until a few months ago, when I stayed the night over at her place...
She'd gotten up early to use the bathroom. I grabbed her laptop off the side desk so I could catch up on some work e-mails, and the incognito tab was just sitting there. My first thought was: either she's having an affair or she's got a secret fetish.
What I found instead was a Google account with a photo album called ‘Michael’s EX’. In it, there were 427 photos of my former girlfriend turned psycho stalker, Sadie. This included shots of ‘Sadie the stalker’ with her family, screenshots of her passport—the works. On Facebook, Sadie's latest post said Moving to the Philippines, and since then she’d become a social media church mouse, so how did Luna keep her under surveillance? And how did you even get PERSONAL ID from a person halfway across the globe?
Down the hall, I heard the bathroom door swing open. Quickly I closed the laptop and pretended to be asleep until Luna planted a kiss on my lips. “Wakey wakey Bugs.”
I faked a stretch. “Morning Lola."
(At school, the other kids christened me ‘Bugs’ because of my cartoonishly large front teeth; I called Luna ‘Lola’ because of her blonde bangs and heart-shaped face.)
“How about we grab a fry for breakfast?” Her smile didn’t seem genuine, more like she was wearing a mask.
“Crap. I forgot I’m doing overtime today, I’ve gotta get to work.” With that, I shot out of there faster than a bullet train to Tokyo.
Because I didn’t wanna believe the worst about someone I cared so deeply about, I didn’t contact the police (not that anybody could’ve guessed what Luna was up to) and made excuses whenever she asked to meet, delaying the decision whether to end our relationship.
At night, I couldn’t sleep. Every time a hedge rustled outside, I’d run to the window and pull back the curtain only to discover a black cat skulking around the garden. I put this down to my previous relationship leaving me with a mountain of unresolved PTSD.
Sadie the stalker also seemed normal until we moved in together. After that she started picking fights if she caught me talking to another woman, even just distant relatives or childhood friends. The screaming matches went from weekly to nightly, only ever ending when I conceded to her every wish and gave her full access to my phone and social media accounts. I literally needed to grab my clothes into a bag and run away one night, and then I started hearing noises outside my new apartment. And although I never found any evidence, I was pretty sure she’d broken in at one point because the books on my side table were suddenly out of order one day. What hurt the most was Luna knew all this and still acted the way she did.
Right as I reached my lowest point, my close friend Gertrude called and said, “The universe is telling me you could use a sympathetic ear.”
I told her the universe didn’t know the half of it.
I’d met Gertrude—aka my surrogate mother—on a flight to London. Passing over Wales the aircraft hit heavy turbulence, and the grey-haired hippie in the seat next to mine squeezed my hand so tight that my fingers turned blue. After we levelled off, she apologized and said, “So what’s calling you to London?”
“A job.”
A few glasses of wine from the service trolley later, she blurted out, “You know your aura is strikingly similar to my husbands.”
“Uhh, thanks. Where is he now?”
“Oh, he burned to death in a house fire.”
Gertrude’s eyes started welling up. To take her mind off the subject, I said, “I lied earlier. I’m going to London because I fell in love with a Londoner.” I pulled up pictures of Sadie (back in her pre-stalker days) on my phone. “We met in Italy. She looked flustered trying to read a map book so I offered to help. Next thing I knew, we were planning a trip to this place called Orvieto.”
“Michael, I need to know how this story ends. Gimme your number.”
Since then, we’d met two or three times a year.
I laid the whole mess out over pizza. It was the first time since finding the Google account I didn’t feel hidden eyes crawling all over me.
Just as I wrapped up the story, over in the corner booth, a family burst into a chorus of happy birthday. A waiter appeared carrying a chocolate cake, capped by a giant candle that looked more like a flare. Gertrude tensed up.
“So what do you think about all this?” I asked.
She looked back at me and said, “It’s possible your reaction has been a touch on the dramatic side.”
“DRAMATIC??”
“Well consider things from Luna’s point of view. Your last relationship lasted for, what, three years? Maybe she felt threatened.”
“I don’t believe this.” I grabbed a cigarette from my pocket, but Gertrude snatched it away.
“You know how I feel about you poisoning your lungs, Michael.”
“Don’t you start. I got enough of that crap from Luna.”
Gertrude always encouraged me to work through my romantic problems. Ultimately, I decided her love of fairytale romances clouded her judgement and ghosted Luna instead. But I couldn’t escape her shadow. She always felt close. In fact, it got so bad that at a friend’s costume party several weeks later, my eyes kept compulsively scanning the crowd as if she was there in disguise, ready to pounce.
I stood off to the corner until, over the sea of heads, I spotted a beautiful stranger dressed as Jarlath the Goblin King. I took a shot of liquid courage and made a B-line towards her.
Halfway across the crowded room, beer splashed across the front of my Ziggy Stardust outfit.
“I am so sorry,” a female pirate said, patting me dry.
“Don’t worry about it.” Every time I tried circling her, she moved to cut me off.
“I am such a klutz. Why don’t you come into the kitchen so I can clean up this mess?”
I put my hands on her shoulders and steered her out of the way. “It’s fine. Trust me.”
Approaching Jarlath from behind, heart slamming against my chest, I said, “Well this is awkward. One of us is gonna have to change.”
Jennie had bright blue eyes and dimples impossible to miss. Ten minutes into our debate about David Bowie’s greatest album, I said, “You know Absolute Bowie are playing the Half Moon next week. I could take you?”
“Sorry. I’m going with my boyfriend,” she said with a sympathetic smile. From beside the buffet table, the pirate stared daggers in our direction.
“No worries,” I replied, despite the fact I was brimming with jealousy.
The next day, as I jogged off my hangover, a brown-haired lady cut across my path and we both went spinning to the ground.
“Flip, sorry.” I rushed to pull her up by the hands. “I’m like a bloody zombie lately.”
She did a doubletake. “Ziggy, right?”
There was no mistaking those eyes. “Jarlath?”
“Well, Jarlath or Jennie. Eithers fine.”
“Right. Well, sorry again. Enjoy Absolute Bowie.”
Before I could jog away, she said, “Hey, so that guy I was seeing? Turns out he’s a total prick.”
Jennie and I went for coffee. Coffee morphed into drinks. Drinks morphed into a steamy make-out session on my sofa.
But as she covered my neck in soft kisses, my stomach turned. It felt like cheating. So, I put the brakes on things and said, “I can’t do this. I’m really sorry. You’re amazing, but I just got out of a serious relationship…and…it’s just…”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.”
We agreed we’d let our connection blossom in its own time.
Jennie had a playful mystique to her. Within a handful of dates, we’d developed inside jokes and could tell what the other was thinking. But Luna’s imprint was hard to shake, to the extent I almost mixed up the two ladies’ names multiple times.
To detox, I suggested Jennie and I spend a romantic weekend in the Lake District, because after two days of hiking and kayaking my ex would no doubt be a spec in the rearview mirror.
Hours before we set off, however, Luna’s mom called. She wanted to meet and wouldn’t accept any excuses.
“Look, it’s obvious why I’m here,” she said, sitting across from me in Starbucks. “Ever since you and Luna broke up, she’s been acting…different.”
“Different? Different how?”
“I call but she hardly answers. I go over to her place but she’s never there. Now she’s telling me she needs to find herself. Says she’s moving to Australia.”
Her fingers tightened around her cup. “I need to know what happened between you two. And I don’t care if that paints anybody in a bad light. I’m just worried about my daughter is all.”
I told her about the Google account.
“Did you confront her about it?”
“Hell no. I ghosted that crazy bitc—” I cleared my throat. “I mean, I just…stopped seeing her.”
She started crying so loudly customers at nearby tables paused their conversations. I touched her forearm, promised I’d call if I remembered anything else, then set off for my romantic weekend.
But while Jennie and I enjoyed all that fresh air and pub food, a thought nagged at me. Luna adored London, so why move to Australia? It seemed so out of character. Back at our rented cottage, I was so fixated on the thought I needed a smoke, badly.
“What the hell is that?” Jennie demanded, as she stepped onto the front deck.
I glanced at my hands. “Uhh, a cigarette.”
“Michael! Don’t be sarcastic. You know how I feel about those things.”
“…Do I?”
“Uhh, well it’s the same as anybody else. Quit poisoning your lungs and put that thing out.”
“Alright alright, geeze. Sorry Luna.”
“That’s okay.”
A knot formed in my stomach as she went back inside. I’d called Jennie Luna by mistake. And she hadn’t noticed. In fact, her reaction to me smoking was identical to Luna’s—even the snappy way she said the ‘poison your lungs’ line.
I followed Jennie into the lounge, where she’d curled up on an armchair with a Colleen Hoover novel. She was hiding something. What else did she know about Luna? Maybe I could trick her into revealing some details…
From behind, I started massaging her shoulders. “Sorry for being rude before. I know what you said came from a place of love.”
“That’s okay.”
I waited until her eyes drooped shut, then said, “It really is perfect here, huh? Maybe we should stay forever.”
“Wouldn’t that be amazing?”
Her little groans of pleasure, the rhythm of her breathing, it all felt so familiar. I waited until the tension in her neck dissolved, then I pushed my lips against her ear and whispered, “So how about we take this into the bedroom…Lola.”
“Hmm. Sure thing Bugs.”
My hands froze. Jennie jumped up. “Uhh, that felt so good, why’d you stop?”
“What did you just say?”
“What did you just say?”
“I called you Lola,” I replied, my arms frozen in midair. “And you called me bugs.”
“Like the cartoon, right? I thought it’d be a cute nickname. Anyway, I’m tuckered out.” She forced a yawn. “Why don’t we get some sleep?”
As her hand laced with mine, an image of me waking up drugged and gagged and tied to the bedposts flashed before my eyes.
I said, “Sure. I just…need to use the bathroom first.”
The second the door shut behind me, I flew out of the house, climbed in my car, and sped away.
Within seconds my phone started blowing up with calls, followed by texts. Where are you going? Is everything okay?
No, I wanted to reply. I’m onto your sick little game. Whatever it is, I’m onto it.
Luna stalked my stalker, now Jennie somehow knew Luna and I’s nicknames. How? Did all women take turns drawing straws and whoever picked the short one needed to become my girlfriend?
I couldn’t go home. For all I knew, my exes would’ve been there burning effigies of me. I needed a safe place. Somewhere I could lie low until I got all this straightened out.
“Of course you can stay,” Gertrude said over the phone. “I’m out with some friends, but I’ll meet you later. If you hop the side gate there’s a spare key under the kissing gnomes out back.”
Gertrude lived in a detached house in Wembley. It took a bit of foraging to find the gnomes hidden beneath the weeds in the brown, patchy garden.
I needed to shoulder the door open. Inside, a mountain of letters and flyers had piled up on the welcome mat.
Down the hall, a huge archway connected the landing with a lounge, where a bar sat against the far wall, surrounded by upholstered sofas, a low table, and tie dye sheets strung over the filthy carpet. Everything had a real elegant vibe, despite the musty air.
I’d drained two glasses of whiskey before Gertrude arrived.
“Looks like you’ve had a rough evening.”
I said we could talk in the morning.
“Not a chance. You can’t take negative energy to bed. Come on, confession is good for the soul.”
She sat on the sofa and patted the empty seat next to her. So, with a weary sigh, I shared a tale of deranged exes.
“Crazy,” she said.
“I sure can pick ‘em, huh?”
“No, I mean you’re crazy.”
“What?”
“Think about it. What’s more likely: that your ex’s are secretly in collusion, or you’re being paranoid? Look how bloodshot your eyes are. When’s the last time you got a good night’s rest?”
She made a great point; teenagers on the street occasionally shouted ‘Bugs’ or ‘Thumper’ at me. Jennie might’ve come up with the nickname herself. I pinched the bridge of my nose, groaning.
“Look, sleep here tonight. Tomorrow we’ll brainstorm ways you can make it up to Jennie.”
I fumbled through my pockets for a cigarette.
“Really?” Gertrude said. “If you insist on poisoning your lungs, can you at least do it away from my home?”
“Well if I can’t smoke, I’m gonna need a refill.” I shook my empty glass.
On my way toward the bar, a wave of wooziness hit me. My first instinct was to blame it on the alcohol, but there was something else.
It was her reaction to the cigarette. My finger ran through the thick layer of dust along the bar’s countertop. Why was it like the place had been abandoned? Why did Gertrude always pressure me to stay with my psycho girlfriends? And how come she always reached out, as if on cue, whenever my relationships hit problems? It couldn’t be coincidence…
I poured two glasses of whiskey and carried them to the sofa. “So, you’re really against the whole smoking thing, huh?”
“Of course. It’s a filthy habit.”
“Yeah. Plus, there was that mess with your husband. House fire, right?”
“I’d rather not discuss it.”
“Sure, sure.” I ignited the lighter with a roll across my trouser leg.
Gertrude grabbed a cushion and hugged it. “What are you doing?”
“Alright, cut the crap. What the hell’s going on? Have you been sending your friends to date me?”
“What are you talking about?”
I wrestled the cushion from her and held the lighter beneath it. “I want an explanation right now or I’m torching this place.”
This was an empty threat. I wasn’t some pyromaniac—I just wanted answers. Inch by inch, I raised the flame. “Last chance. Why are the women in my life acting weird?”
Gertrude grabbed for the lighter. As I swatted her wrists away, we both got scorched, and for a moment her skin went wild with spasms, a sensation I can only compare to reaching inside a bucket of wet, writhing maggots. My gaze whipped between her face and her hands, which vibrated like plucked guitar strings.
Before I could scream, she yanked me up, clamped a cold, wrinkled palm across my mouth, and forced me against the wall. I thrashed around, unable to move. For a lady old enough to collect a pension, she was crazy strong.
She waited until I ran out of breath, then said, “Michael, please. I’m not going to hurt you. Open your heart and listen.”
What else could I do?
“You were right before. I have been keeping a secret from you. The truth is, I’ve been in love with you since we met. I’d never flown before. And you were so so sweet. You started talking about this other woman, but I knew our energies were perfect for each other. And it’s like I always say, love makes us do crazy things. You can’t begrudge me that can you?”
She looked as if she expected me to respond, so I shook my head.
“But I think we’ve reached a point where our connection is so deep we can be completely transparent with one another.” She took a slow, steady breath. “Michael, all your ex’s, Luna, Sadie, Jennie. They’ve all been…well, me.”
I stared at her, confused.
She sighed. “It’ll be easier if I just show you.”
Out of nowhere her hand wriggled again, then her face tightened, as though the skin was being stretched over the bone. Wrinkles smoothed out and colour bled into her grey hair, turning it brown, and within seconds I found myself face-to-face with Jennie. Even her vintage clothes morphed into a green blouse and white slacks.
“See?” she said in Jennie’s voice, her now blue eyes locked on mine.
I screamed into the soft flesh of her palm.
“Sssh, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. Watch.”
Her entire body jerked and twitched, the muscles spasming as she shifted from Jennie to Luna. “See? Think of these as costumes”—from Luna to Sadie—"the important thing is what’s underneath. And you’ve fallen in love with what’s underneath three times. Now I’m going to let go, but I need you to promise you won’t overreact. Understand?”
On the verge of a panic attack, I nodded furiously.
The second she pulled away I made a break for the exit. The thing posing as Sadie grabbed me and hurled me backwards against the wall.
Like a disappointed teacher, she put her hands on her hips. “I’ve been so patient with you, Michael. So very, very patient.”
She blocked off any hope of escape. I sidestepped around the outer edge of the room, towards the bar.
“All those years moulding you. Trying to grow you into the man I know you can be. I really thought we had it this time. For the record, I wanted to do this the easy way. But drastic times...”
I was so scared I slammed right into the cabinet and yelped. Glass bottles chattered together, and then something wet ran down the back of my shirt. It was whiskey, leaking from the overturned bottle onto the carpeted floor.
Speaking more to herself now, Gertrude said, “I’ll just have to keep you here until you love me as much as I love you. Of course, that means posing as you so nobody gets suspicious, but that’s no trouble. I’ll tell your dad you’re moving to Italy. You always loved Italy.”
Pose as me? She'd been killing my ex's and taking their place, I was just the latest in a long line. She’d keep me as a personal sugar baby if I didn’t escape, but how? She was impossibly strong, and the only thing that seemed to scare her was…
Snatching the bottle, I doused the remaining whiskey all over the carpet and furniture. As I flicked the lighter open, Sadie’s hands shot up.
“Bugs…darling…what are you doing?”
I took three slow, steady breaths. “Breaking up with you, you crazy bitch.”
I tossed the lighter forward. Within seconds flames sprung up all around us, spreading as far as the sofa. Sadie’s shoe caught fire, and as she stamped around, unintentionally fanning the blaze, her body writhed again, starting with the ankles. Fat boils climbed up every inch of exposed skin, milky white and with the consistency of frog spawn, like she’d had a killer allergic reaction to poison ivy.
She dropped to her knees, wailing like a wounded animal. This was my chance.
I made a break for the exit, giving the creature as wide a berth as possible. But as I got one foot planted in the hall something clamped tight around my ankles. My chin hit the floor, then I started sliding backwards.
I twisted onto my back. Where Sadie’s left arm should’ve been, a tentacle-like appendage stretched across the length of the room, a distance of over twenty feet. It reeled me toward her like a fish on a line. Whatever that thing was no longer looked human. It melted like an ice statue, with no bones or connective tissue inside, its lips nose and mouth becoming hideously elongated before dripping off in huge globs like melted candlewax. A fire alarm started wailing as the tentacle dragged me through the flames, scorching my arms and legs.
The loose mass of skin reached out and encased me like a mother bird sheltering its eggs.
“WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME?” all my ex’s voices screamed at once. Whichever direction I looked, silhouettes of faces rose and fell, as if trying to burst through. Parts of them dripped inside my mouth, disgustingly warm with a bitter taste worse than Vaseline.
I put everything into clawing my way out if there. What was left of the beast had the consistency of wet clay and came apart just as easily. I tore away chunks until there was a hole large enough to squeeze through. Then, I crawled along surrounded by black smoke.
At the far side of the room I risked a glance back and saw a bumpy, uneven hand reaching out of a puddle of ooze. Soon I was crawling over the bristly welcome mat, then fumbling for the door. All I remember after that are paramedics wrestling me into an ambulance…
A specialist officer came to see me at the hospital the next morning. They’d been unable to contact the homeowner, Gertrude Huyton, and through his line of questioning I could tell they hadn’t found her ‘remains’ inside the charred house. Like the wicked witch of the West, my stalker had melted. I told the officer she said I could stay the night, and that I probably started the fire by dropping a cigarette.
“In that case, we’ll keep trying to reach her.” He walked to the curtain surronding my bed and paused. “Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, her cat is missing.”
“Her...cat?”
“Yeah. The little black one. One of the firemen pulled it out of the wreckage. The poor thing had burns over its legs but it ran off before anybody could take it to the vet.”
I swallowed a gulp and thanked him for telling me.
And now I’m still sitting here listening while nurses rush back and forth, terrified any one of them might be Gertrude…

I (34m) am in a relationship with my gf (34f) for 9 months now. I’m well educated, very successful, come from a good family, but was in a split home with extreme and traumatic childhood. My gf was raised by a drug addict mother and doesn’t know her father. Went from foster home to foster home. Never had stability in her life, only had drug addict boyfriend that mistreated her. She also was very promiscuous and had multiple relationships at the same time.
Since we started dating I revolved my entire life around her being there 24/7, providing for her financially, taking care of her kids, even helping clean the house while she sat at home and struggled to do much due to her mental health (borderline personality disorder). Things were good she gave me bursts of love and attention and when they were good they were great. As soon as we had a fight though she’d flip my whole life upside down. Call me names, put me down, attack my character, tell me shes only with me for the money and the sex. She’s very negative and extremely judgmental and usually misjudges all scenarios around her. Her mood is up and down constantly and she always wants to leave me as soon as we fight only to ask me to come back shortly after. She forgets all the good times right away and exaggerates everything negatively. Goes from loving me saying that we are not compatible and that she doesn’t like my personality. Lately she’s been jumping to text other guys right after a fight/break up. She’s also been saying that she wants to go back to having 7 boyfriends. I wasnt innocent in all this. I also retaliated verbally and was very hurtful at times. it was all in the heat of the moment and to defend myself more so than attack her.
Why do I stay? Because I love her and want to give her and her kids a better life. Because I see her struggling with these problems with all her friendships including her mother. Because I’ve invested time and money and planned a future with her. Because i don’t take offence to her insults when she’s angry because no one in their right mind would act like that. I feel stuck and don’t know what to do. Do i stay and try to make it work, or do I give up on her and move on? We had amazing periods where we were in so much love together. I don’t want to give up on that and let her ruin her life. I feel like leaving her is equivalent to me letting a drink drive. I don’t know what to do.

I (37f) have been divorced from my ex husband(41m) since 2020. My mother(57f) and he were very close following my father’s passing but I never thought anything of it. In 2019 I went to a work party and ended up making the worst decision of my life and sleeping my with my coworker. He immediately shamed me after the affair and told everyone we worked with and then decided to message my now ex husband all the details on Facebook. I am not looking for sympathy. So my mother and and ex husband have stayed close over the last few years and I wasn’t happy about it but I just kind of accepted it. While I figured there relationship was completely platonic I started suspecting something was going on. My mother was over back in February and I noticed text messages coming in and saw my ex husbands name, this really bothered me. So I went to Myrtle beach for a week with my sister and decided to stop at my mothers vacation home in OBX because she had mentioned about being there this week for a getaway before the reality company took the reins for the summer. I didn’t tell her I was coming and arrived at 11am yesterday morning. As I pull up the driveway I see an orange KTM motorcycle and the first thing that came to mind was how my ex husband had an affinity for KTMs and already knew what I was going to walk into but I couldn’t even fathom what I was about to see.. my mother getting plowed from behind by my ex husband bent over the kitchen counter. She freaks and takes off into the bedroom and he just sits back on me and says sorry and lets out a chuckle and shakes his head. So I leave and head back to DE and I’m literally shaking and balling my eyes out the whole ride. I speak to my mother first thing this morning when I woke up and she doesn’t apologize and says I’m the one over reacting. She said that he was better to her than me and my sister ever were and that all I cared about when my father died was my inheritance and that he made her happy and it was all my fault for loosing him because I was unfaithful.. she goes on to tell me that they have been seeing each other for almost two years, plan on moving in together and basically tells me to deal with it, you made your bed and now have to sleep in it. I have paid for this affair greatly, me and my coworker were both fired following an altercation about the affair so I was forced to take a way lower salary position, my last boyfriend left me for his HS sweetheart and basically kicked me out and I had to find an overpriced apartment I can’t afford, and now my mother is with the man I truly still love.. I asked her to stop seeing him and she said to get over myself and stop over reacting to the situation. i was want an honest opinion if I’m overreacting and just need to accept it?

So I F55 have been single, living with ex (paranoid hoarder) for a few years. It was exhausting & constant stress. We all know what clutter does to an aspie!! I finally had enough & decided to move closer to my kids&grans 1200 miles away. Ex moved out. I've been trying to pack my stuff (imagine trying to find my stuff in the hoard) bought a shuttle to live in/haul my stuff, still had the exs cats, dog, for months. I've had 2 surgeries in the past 6 months, both pushed my timeline further back. I've dealt with all of this ALONE. It's just been chaos & I'm really pushing myself. I have a 4 hr round trip commute, on top of an 8 hr work shift, 5 days a week. A friend there, invited me to a FB group to maybe meet some more friends there before hand. I got a few responses & over a period of a few months, 1 in particular, (F62) were seeing each other. She came to visit. Visit went fantastic. I understand she's a manager type personality & was fine with that, until I told her I am Aspie. Within a few days, I was being instructed on how to deal with bosses, friends, finances, when to work on my resume, tasks, chores, etc. I occasionally get overwhelmed & take a night off from tasks. I had set Mem Day as my "goal" tho kept the reality of rain, & things not working as planned (I had a date to get hitch installed, they screwed up reservation, & rescheduled next week) perfect example! I was planning on driving my shuttle down, coming back for camy dog. SHE decided, to buy a plane ticket for Mem wknd, to drive my car down for me. She's never pulled a trailer, nor dealt with midwest storms. She would also have my dog in that car. When I mentioned the given time frame, she dismissed it. My concerns: The shuttle is older and may break down. It's custom, so finding parts may take weeks. I also brought up midwest storms, her response was "its just rain we will keep going". I brought up straight line wind, derechos, etc. Was still blown off. So now my stress & anxiety are peaking. Monday night, we chatted until late, Tuesday, i had a texted a typo, & she was offended I didn't fix it. I had a horrendous busy day. She texted that I must be busy. I said yes. Note: that was all the text I got from her as well all day. When I left work, I texted that I was out. Didn't get the typical "drive safe" response. I texted that I got home. I got 'yay' in response. I then get voice message telling me she can't imagine how much stress im under, she doesn't want to be my stressor, etc. She offers me a night off of our nightly chat so I can decompress. I'm thinking omg she's amazing, thank you ty TY! Then... she sends me a vm of how I'm exhibiting VERY BAD passive aggressive behavior, full of red flags, she's going to take this as a concern, etc. I apologize & say today Im overwhelmed. Now I'm being told, she was upset about my typo, I didn't fix my typo, I didn't text much, how that made her feel ghosted, that her gut was right that I was bullshit, that I'm just too immature to handle what she has to offer. At this point, after a very long stressful day, I'm in critical shut down. I reject calls- texts, tho the texts come in nose to tail. Constant voice messages,texts, emails, voice mail,... I'm just here panicking in silence. So she starts harassing my adult daughter. I tell my daughter to block her. Now the accusations start. Then threatening to visit my elderly (80+) neighbors, (she's been to my place - driveways line up, she know where they live they are my only neighbors) harass THEM until I conform. (PS: she works with the elderly) & she can't see why I now don't want anything to do with her.
Things she's said/ texted-unedited:
-Until I hear different, I am flying out Saturday the 25th. I will get an Uber to your mom and dad's house because I have the address and we're gonna figure this shit out.
-I'm gonna have so much fun with you. You're gonna wish you never met me because I gotta tell you I gave you everything fucking everything trust sex psychological bullshit. I gave you fucking everything and you know what autism on the Spectrum all that fucking bullshit is that it's bullshit.
-I think you were too immature to handle what I can give you and you laid on yourself by being a fucking pussy and that's bullshit because I know you better than that. Why can't you just own that you need to communicate better
-I will constantly call you until I have an answer. That's the bottom line. Don't be a fucking pussy.
-Do you like women to chase you because you were fucked up? Do you really like that or do you like togive amends so it could be done?
-I will keep calling because I want an answer because I am not a fucking pussy. I want to hear it from you.
-You by far are the biggest shit that I've ever ever known. Well played the biggest fucking shit I've ever known.
-I use your white T-shirt to pick up dog shit and it made me feel happy. Isn't it cool that I can text you and you can't respond to me talking about bullshit.
-It totally sucks to be you lol I'm loving this and if you never read it, I'm still loving it
-I'm gonna have so much fun with you. You're gonna wish you never met me because I gotta tell you I gave you everything fucking everything trust sex psychological bullshit. I gave you fucking everything and you know what autism on the Spectrum all that fucking bullshit is that it's bullshit.
-You like the fat girlfriend because it makes you feel skinny and being with someone who's not fat makes you feel insecure
-I think I'm done with you for now enjoy and there is a feed for our text messages just so you know it's awesome
-I think that you just don't think and now there is no way of you to contact me thank you you did this. And I shot those emails out about mom and dad. Do I know where they live fuck no I wanted to get your attention. You chose to read them to use it against me.
-That makes me really sad and yes, I said things to get your goddamn fucking attention And you take it personally although you know me I don't even know mom and dad's address you fucking think about it. You dumb bitch OK use autism as an excuse. You're a dumb bitch autistic people think clearly.

• I totally get it but you didn't tell me you were not an adult and you did a passive aggressive bullshit on me. You know you did. I claim I would be at mom and dad's house I don't even have their fucking address you idiot fucking Idiot, I was trying to get you to talk to me New York and yeah, you really should I believe that

-And you know what your daughter yes I said that fuck your daughter. You need to get her permission to do shit fucking grow up.
-Yes, I lashed out because you didn't talk to me. Yes, to all of the above, but the bottom line is when I love someone I fucking love them and I talk to them, which you did not because you were a fucking pussy, so prove me wrong
-For the record, we could never be more than friends if this is how you handle stress, not my jam at all, but I can certainly be your friend. Do you have a whole lot more growing up to do or a whole lot more realizing your disability in terms of being autistic and on the spectrum.
-I don't care if you're autistic or not you're not fucking stupid, that's passive aggressive Berni and fucking deal with it that was wrong and that was mean you were mean and yes, I lost my shit because I didn't know what was going on