Title. Maybe it’s because the phrase “intentional community” hasn’t taken hold of the mainstream yet (if ever) but it shocks me that most are struggling to get members.
I want to live simply, slowly, sustainably with others and nature. ICs check all my boxes. There are more than a few communes that have been existing since the 70s! Idk just shocks me more people aren’t aware of them.
I think the American Individualism mindset plays a part too. Everyone wants the homestead or to do it with friends/family, but to collaborate and live with strangers is daunting yeah… hmm

TLDR; OP vents about feeling like an outsider in day-to-day life due to differing lifestyle choices and interests.
I (23F) have always felt different, from a young age. I grew up in Salt Lake City, in a devout Mormon family and always strayed from the norm. Never did I really rebel in the typical teenage rebellion way other than getting into heavy/emo music and dressing in all-black etc. but ever since I started developing my own opinions and desires for appearance, lifestyle, opinions on big-question things (I.e. religion, sexuality, etc.) it was always met with a fight and downright refusal of acceptance by my loved ones.
Fast forward ten years and I have since pursed (and failed) at a music career, gone no-contact (and got back in contact) and am now living at home with my family. The dynamic is strained and I’m trying to do my best to acquiesce to their wants but it’s difficult when we are on opposite ends of life expectation. For instance, a few days ago I told my mom I wanted to get another tattoo for my birthday to keep working on my sleeve, and she was indifferent and dismissive. Today, I wore a Lamb of God shirt (a band that I’ve been getting into the past few years) and she told me that I should never wear it again because it made her ‘sad for Jesus’ despite the graphic not being offensive or blasphemous. These are small details, but they compile on top of tension and resentment. In top of that, I’m planning on changing my birth name in the next few months and when I brought it up to my mom she just argued that I embody my given name more than I think (which I heavily disagree with).
I just want to be able to be myself. I want to be able to express myself and not feel judgement for saying that I want to go see Knocked Loose with my best friend for her birthday (an example). These things may all feel small, but I just feel like I’m sacrificing so much of myself and it sucks. I wish I could conform and be the ’normal’ version of me they all want, other days I want to be unabashed and not give a shit. Idk.

I just want to rant about my hobbies. My family is so supportive of everything I’ve ever wanted to try. When I wanted to play soccer they bought me the best cleats and the best gear. When I wanted to start singing, they found a singing teacher and I went every week. When I wanted to move to Alaska to start hiking, they bought me everything I needed from hiking boots to magnetic chess board to use when you’re out in the forest camping. When I wanted to start painting, they bought me 20 canvases and a shit ton of paint. When I wanted to start collecting chess boards, they bought me so many of them all super unique. When I wanted to try boxing, they bought me the best boxing gear. When I wanted to start tattooing they let me practice on them. When I wanted to start weightlifting they bought me a 180$ monthly membership. When I wanna learn a new language they buy me the best books to learn. The only one of these that actually stuck is my chess collection I keep collecting now I have like 16. I’m thinking about getting into gardening. Also I’m a girl I’m 22 I feel like I’ve lived many lives

I'm looking to get a tattoo that represents mine and my best friends relationship. We've been friends since grade school and are still over 15 years later. As far as interests go we pretty much have nothing in common haha. We are practically polar opposites but we get along well and we're both extremely loyal. We've had some fights and falling outs over the years but we always make up. We're not related but at this point we might as well be family. We've been talking about getting a tattoo together for a few years but never found anything that really suits us. I was wondering if anyone knows of maybe some weird things in nature that shouldn't work or be possible but is? Like a lion and a hyena being friends. Stuff like that

I Accepted a Job to Film on the Dark Web
Man, I am pumped to tell you chronically online content addicts my story. Wait is that too mean of an intro? Will this get taken down for harassment since I painted too accurate a picture of the people on this site? Sorry, everyone, I’m sure you all smell like an expensive bakery and have touched grass this morning. Anyway, I promise I have something interesting. It even involves the dark web you uncreative writers cream yourselves over! I mean, totally real people speaking about their strangely similar experiences. Okay, fine I’ll stop bullying you through the screen before you click off.
This all started when I was seven years old and my parents were killed in front of me in an anti-indigenous hate crime, but let's be real you don’t care. I’m just some annoying Cherokee kid with dead parents so I’ll skip to the good parts. I spent years in an orphanage, gradually becoming more interested in death and violence. As bad as it is, I went out of my way to expose myself to that content in the hopes of desensitizing myself. Which ended up working too well, since now I’m obsessed with causing and viewing pain, though I don’t find any joy in hurting myself.
I got adopted at twelve and after a few months of staying at my new family’s home on the reservation, I went with them to a state sweatier than the average Reddit user, California. Long story short, both of my caretakers, whom I referred to as Uncle and Auntie because they could never be my parents, died. Leaving me in the care of their older son, who I call cousin. I’m not stupid enough to give up any real names, so I’ll call him Brick, cause he’s as dumb as one. He was in his early 20s when he was tasked with taking care of me and is the world’s worst excuse for a babysitter.
I’m almost always alone at the apartment, with him only coming by to drop off supplies and stay for a few hours so the neighbors don’t get too worried. Unless I get in trouble at school, then he’d suddenly give a shit. It's useful because he doesn't about the gory stuff I look at, but some display of interest would be nice. Oh well, ninety percent of the population sucks so he’s just part of the majority. Now, with that said, you’ll be able to understand the perfect storm that led me here. During my time on the deep web, I found a particular website that caught my eye. They had new footage relatively consistently and they were the easiest for me to access since I didn't go too far into the dark web, especially with all the honey pots lying around.
I even bought a couple of files for myself to study and admire. One thing irritated me though, the cameraman. He was always sobbing, breathing, shaking, or some combination of those. It seriously killed the vibe of the killings. Something I commented on under many videos, often saying I would do a better job filming. A choice that in hindsight was me asking to end up in one of those recordings. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I was mostly the only one who commented but I was sure they wouldn't care. I was embarrassingly wrong.
I was staying up like usual, but it was past one AM on a school night, and back then that was a lot so I tried to sleep. Closing my eyes, tossing and turning, the works. I had just started drifting off when I heard the front door open. I remained calm but immediately found it weird since Brick never showed up this late. The thuds of the individual's feet grew louder as they got closer to my bedroom. I tried to convince myself it wasn't a stranger, especially since they got in with ease, but I knew that was wishful thinking.
They hummed as they opened my door. My dumbass had left it unlocked. I remained on my side, trying to look like I was asleep. They turned on the flashlight of their phone, shining it in my face. It was hard but I stayed still while they traced it over my features. I could tell they were smiling as they clicked their tongue.
“Heh, I knew it was a brat,” they whispered to themselves, pulling tangles out of my hair. Something I struggled not to groan from. They pulled up the hair over my ear and got so close spit got on my ear lobe.
“I know you’re awake kid,” they murmured, putting a blade to my neck. I let them grab my shoulder and move me onto my back, I knew how to fight but I wasn't about to take that big a risk with the position they had me in.
“You think you’re so cool saying you can do better than our guy.” they snickered, kneeling, their flashlight still shining in my face.
“Do you seriously believe that?” they questioned, moving the light away.
“Yeah, I do.” I stood my ground, they might have been intimidating but I wasn't gonna let that stop me from being honest.
“I wouldn't sound like I’m gonna piss myself every time it gets gory. I’m confident I could get better footage too, getting up close is something I’ve fantasized about.”
They clicked their tongue again and ran their finger over the bridge of my nose.
”Well, I know you’re a big fan of what we do, and you’re confidence makes me think you got something to back those claims up, so how’d you like a deal?”
I was surprised by how civil they were being aside from the touching and weapon against my throat.
“What kind of deal?” I asked, for all I knew this guy wanted me to lick their feet or some weird shit like that. They placed a finger underneath my eye, tracing a half moon with their nail.
“You have till this Friday to film a video of you killing an animal and put it on a flash drive that I’ll pick up here. If it impresses me and the crew we’ll hire ya with a handsome salary.” They began, moving their hand down to my cheek.
“But if you don't show, or it doesn't meet our standards, then I’m fucking up one of the parts of your face.” They warned, pinching my skin harshly.
“And if I say no to this deal?”
They put their hand over my mouth, scratching my lips.
“That’s cute, if you say no I’ll just slit your throat.” they grinned.
“Or rip it open with my teeth if you got a preference,” they smirked, before running their tongue across their sharp teeth.
“Okay, since I have no choice I’ll go with it, but I’m telling you now I can give you something way better than what you likely expect of me.” I prefaced, looking into their sunken eyes. They scratched my scalp, including the side of my head that was shaved.
“Good choice, I’ll be back to pick it up and if you're not here I’ll assume you don’t have the video. I genuinely wish you luck, because you’ll need it.” they removed the blade from my neck and walked away. I sat still for a few minutes in the dark, processing what had happened and wondering how they got into my apartment with such ease. I was confident I could blow their sniveling excuse of a cameraman out of the water, but I was worried about the people I was getting caught up with.
Sure, I had been on a lot of gore sites over the years but I was always just watching and occasionally commenting. Compared to most in the scene I wasn't much of a threat. I could defend myself and have contemplated killing for years but I hadn't murdered anyone or worse. Plus, I am part of way too many targeted groups to not be constantly at risk. Teenage, fem-leaning, two-spirit, indigenous kid with trauma? Yeah, I might as well be walking sign screaming “Hate crime me”.
So yeah, there was a lot to worry about. Regardless, I couldn't let that fear hold me back. I had a job to do and a group of sickos to appease. The next morning was rough, I got no sleep cause I’d spent all night brainstorming. I barely mustered the energy to change and drank straight mouthwash instead of brushing my teeth. Slogging onto the bus with drool on my cheek, I went to the back like usual. No one sat there cause, the seats were extra worn down, and I scared off anyone who attempted to with my active, rabies-infected bitch face. That day was different though.
I blanked on his name and where I knew him from, but I recognized his wavy hair and prominent curved nose. He glanced at each seat on the bus, before somehow settling on my area. He tried to give me space but ultimately seated himself beside me after realizing it was the only spot that didn't look like it would give him cancer. I glared at him as I did with everyone, but it didn't phase him.
“You know you could pick anywhere else right?” I murmured. He stared at the floor, then at me.
“I’m aware, but a few months ago I started a mission to sit on every part of this bus, and this is the last place.” he smiled, his lips softly curving at the sides.
“What’s the point of that?”
His mouth moved into a more neutral position, but his eyes kept smiling.
“I just thought it would be neat to see the same place from a bunch of different perspectives.” he took out his phone and snapped a photo from the point of view where he was sitting. Maybe my sleepiness made my bitch face less effective, cause he hadn't shown a hint of fear, which kind of annoyed me.
“That’s cool I guess, but I wouldn't do that if I were you. I’ve done some back here alone that would make your skin crawl.” in hindsight my attempt at unnerving him just made me sound like a pervert, which is probably why he held back laughter. Trying to hide a chuckle by clearing his throat.
“Hey, it's not my business what you do, no matter how Haram it is. It’s your life so that’s between you and whatever you believe in. Just don’t shake hands with me.” he joked, playfully putting his hands up. Strangely, I remembered his name at that moment.
“Oh shit, you’re Abdul! We have art together.” I sat up, haphazardly slamming my hand down on my leg.
“Uh yeah, I’ve seen some of your paintings, they’re pretty cool. I like the way you texture them, I’m trying to work on that.” he complimented, seeming more weirded out by my sudden energy than my accidental insinuation. I felt a little stupid for yelling his name but decided not to dwell on it.
“Thanks, you’re stuff is nice, and you’re good at shading.”
He stretched his arms while thanking me. We talked for a few more minutes, taking jabs at each other throughout. Turns out he was better at being an asshole than his artsy charismatic appearance made me think. The thing setting our insults apart being that you could tell he was a loving person underneath. It was the nicest conversation I had with anyone in a while. Though he could tell I was tired so he quieted down, letting me sleep, waking me when we got to school. We went our separate ways until the last two periods we shared. All that time, I spent my remaining energy plotting how I was going to handle the video. What I’d kill, record with, and how to dispose of the evidence. It was a lot to consider, but through three classes I devised a plan.
I’d find a stray around my apartment complex and take it out in my room. Record it on a portable camera since I broke the ones on my phone, no, I will not be answering how that happened. Then once I had my footage I’d put the body in a trash bag, throw it in the complex’s garbage, and clean the blood off my floor. It didn't seem like Brick would come by so he wasn't a factor I thought I’d have to consider. The plan was almost too easy, but I decided to believe in Occam’s razor. I got so lost in thought that by the time I reached Art, which was my second-to-last period, I didn't process that we were moving seats.
“She called your name,” Abdul reminded me. Our teacher placed us next to each other at our four-person table. The two girls sitting with us were already friends, so I didn't bother to say anything, but I was interested in talking to him more.
“So, what do you think of this assignment?” He shrugged, taking out his sketchbook.
“I’m not that good at drawing people, but the idea of combining two people’s faces into a portrait seems interesting. Any ideas on who you’ll pick?”
“Probably the members of the music duo Brain Tumor, they’re my favorite artists and they both look weird as hell.”
“Wow way to talk about your favorites, if that’s what you say about them I can‘t imagine what you have to say about me.” he joked, pulling up reference pictures.
“First, it’s not an insult, second I don’t have anything to say about you. Brain and Tumor have features and styles that make them stand out. Sure they’re ugly, but it just adds to their visual charm. Hot people are boring, there’s nothing to pick at.” I explained, unzipping my bag.
“Oh, so you’re saying you think I’m hot.”
His comment wasn’t serious but it kind of got to me.
“Shit, that’s not what I meant, I was trying to say you’re boring. All hot people are boring, but not all boring people are hot, okay?” I explained, flipping to a clean page.
“Alright, but if I’m so bland then why talk to me?”
I hesitated, contemplating how much of a dick I was gonna be.
“Because it means you probably need some spice in your life, which I can provide.”
He began sketching a head on his paper.
“I like spices, but I feel like you’re the kind of person to dump a cabinet’s worth onto me.”
I flicked my pencil over to his side of the desk, putting on a mocking grin.
“Aww, you scared I’m gonna get you into trouble?”
He picked up the pencil and started using it, putting his on my side.
“No, ‘cause I’m good at setting boundaries. I’m more concerned that you’ll get annoyed with how unafraid of you I am.”
I stared at him for a moment, I hadn't expected to hear that.
“Jeez, man you didn't have to read me like that.”
He shrugged, observing the red paint from past projects that lay on my pencil.
“It's not hard to figure out, just this morning you were trying to push me away on the bus. Lucky, or unlucky, for you I want you to have a friend and you seem like a fun person.”
“Wait are you saying I have no friends?” I squinted at him.
“Well, do you?”
I didn't answer.
“If your response is silence I suggest you take up my offer.”
I was stunned, to be honest. No one had offered to be my friend since 6th grade, and that didn't last long. Of course, I accepted it, but for the rest of the period, there was an awkwardness in my mind. As pathetic as it sounds I wasn't used to others genuinely enjoying my company like he did. Which was partly by design cause I get joy out of scaring people away, but still. I forgot how it felt to have conversations about normal things like art. He had such a nice smile too, usually when I see a grin I want to slap it off, but I liked his. His voice was also nice, it’s hard to describe what in particular but it was easy on the ears.
Okay, I’m starting to get off-topic. I’ll skip to the important part. Toward the end of class, he started talking about how he was interested in filmmaking and got a portable video camera as a gift at last year’s Eid. He didn't have it on him, but he showed me a picture.
“Heh, that’s funny, I bought the same one a month ago.” I pointed out.
“Yeah, it's a popular model, I’m still getting the hang of it though cause I’m so used to using my phone.”
“Well, maybe I could bring you over to my place or vice versa after school and I can help you out.” I suggested.
He smiled, putting his phone back in his pocket.
“I thought you said you’ve only had it for a month? You know I can always look up tutorials from trained professionals.” he reminded me with a notable smugness that I'd used with him before.
“Well those guys are stuffy and I’m a fast learner.”
He redirected his attention back to his page, picking his pencil up.
“Alright, I suggest we go somewhere public instead. You’re not exactly the kind of person I want to bring home to my parents right away. Plus they always need to meet my friends and their guardians before I hang out at their home.”
I gave an exaggerated sigh, stretching my back.
“Aw man, looks like we can’t get high in my murder pit during our first hangout.”
He didn't respond for a solid few seconds.
“Wait, you do know I'm joking right?”
He shrugged, the smile in his eyes appearing again.
“I mean, one of those things is a little less believable than the other.” he snickered, and I laughed with him.
We set up a time and a date, which is where I screwed myself. He ended up being busy with projects from his other classes and family which just left us with Friday, the same day I had to submit the video. Now, did I tell him I wouldn't be able to make it? No, of course not, because I decided to be stupid and even more overconfident. I said that I’d one hundred percent be able to hang out with him after school like I didn't have a mutilator who was going to drop by my place at an unknown time.
The rest of the day went over fine but that bad timing led me to feel like a dick later. When I got home I was able to write out my plan, even sketching a few specifics of what I’d do. It was more exciting than when I’d been brainstorming, but this is when the gravity of the situation began to set in. When I said I’d fantasized about killings I meant it. I mean my teddy with twenty-five stab wounds should say enough. Regardless this would be the first time real blood was on my hands.
It made me feel powerful, but a little afraid. I’ve heard stories of people thinking that it would be an awesome experience and then feeling like shit. I doubted I’d be one of those people but still. Plus, I didn't exactly trust the guy who gave me this job. There was a good chance that this whole situation was rigged and they’d kill me no matter how good the video was. Or worse turn me into the feds and expose my collection. Honestly, if that happened I’d probably eat a shot to avoid going to jail. Wait, can I say that on this platform? Okay to the mods, that was a joke, I want to live a long life. Ugh, I’m doing a terrible job of staying on track. The point is there was a lot up in the air despite it being a matter of life or death.
I knew I’d go through with it but it was still a lot less straightforward than it initially seemed. I wracked my brain to remember where most of the cats stayed and tried to come up with a good way to lure one without raising suspicion. This also proved harder than first thought because I didn't think to account for the cat man, an old guy who lived alone and fed all the cats in our dingy complex while also housing a few. Knowing how obsessive he was he’d probably notice if one of them disappeared. Then again not all the cats return consistently or at all. It makes more sense that he’d think one of them was run over rather than slaughtered. It was getting late again so I rested my head for a moment, a bad move cause I ended up falling asleep at my desk. Not even changing out of the clothes I’d worn before, I woke up late and barely caught the bus the next morning.
I went to my usual spot but Abdul had already taken it. He patted the area next to it, which he’d covered in a towel, a smart move knowing how nasty it was. People gave me a few dirty looks as normal, which I smiled at. I stretched, my mind slightly less out of it than the previous morning.
“Uh, you do realize that-”
“Yeah, I know I’m wearing the same clothes.”
Abdul looked me up and down, his eyes remaining soft, but with a mix of concern and judgment. He set his backpack down and took off his sweater handing it to me.
“Dude what are you-”
“Look I don't know what led to you not being able to change but I think you should at least have a fresh top.”
I was surprised he was offering me something to wear but I took it.
“Uh, thanks, I’ll change into it later.”
He nodded as I put it in my backpack.
“You know you didn't have to do that.” I reminded him.
“Well there’s a lot of stuff I don’t have to do, but I do it because I want to, and I wanted to help you out.”
He smiled, his face still warmer than an Arizona summer. I got a strange feeling in my chest at that moment, I still can’t tell if it was good or bad.
“Well, thanks, I'll give it back to you tomorrow.”
We talked a little more and he mentioned something that caught my attention.
“Have you heard about all the animals that have been turning up dead?”
My eyes widened with surprise.
“No, I haven't, when did you hear about that?”
He pulled on his long-sleeve shirt.
“My sister said her friend who works at a shelter noticed a bunch of animals were getting adopted by people around the same time, and since then gore videos with them have been showing up. She found out through her co-worker who was emailed it by some random creep.”
I covered my mouth and looked away to hide the smile growing on my face. He had just given me the perfect cover-up without knowing. Now if I killed an animal people had an entire violent ring to connect it to instead of me! I stayed quiet for a minute because I could tell he’d likely see through any phony sad sounds I made.
“Oh wow, that’s awful, do you think they’ll ever find out the people behind it?”
He sighed, running his hand through his wavy hair.
“I hope so, for now, all we can do is pray that no more animals get hurt.”
I couldn't contain my grin as he said that so sincerely like animals and people didn't die constantly and that taking down one group would somehow stop the issue.
“Is there some joke I don’t get?” he furrowed his brow.
“Uh, no, sorry I smile when nervous.”
His gaze softened again, and he didn't press further.
His bringing up the animal killings ended up being the exact push I needed to get my hands dirty. I’d spent the entire day before planning so it was time to put that plan into action. I stole some cat treats that the cat man had laid out and spread them around my apartment which was on the bottom floor. Waiting for one of them to take the bate outside my window was pretty boring but one of them came after a few minutes. A scraggly brown and black cat with a tuft of fur missing on one side of his head. It's messed up but I felt like a little less of an asshole for taking him in since he looked like he was already struggling. I scooped him up and he didn't attempt to fight back.
“Hey there buddy” I waved, feeding him some more food. His eyes had a lot of crust on them, it was kinda gross but I don’t have the right to say with how often I wash my jeans. After a minute or two he let me pet him. I knew making any kind of attachment was bad but I thought it was the right thing to do so he’d fall into a sense of security. I was just about to take him into my room when the door opened.
“Hey, I’m back with groceries!” my shithead cousin announced with two plastic bags in his hands. He looked down to see me with the cat, his eyebrows raising.
“Aw come on, you know we can’t afford a pet.”
He groaned placing the bags on a table and unloading them.
“I know, but he doesn't look like he’s got a lot of life in him I at least want to help him feel better before he kicks the bucket!”
Brick rolled his eyes, putting the cereal box on top of the fridge
“Jeez, did you even think about what diseases he might have? His eyes look puffy what if he has something that can get you sick?”
He had valid concerns which was surprising since he’s usually stupid, but I was still annoyed with him.
“I’m sure he’s fine, I’ll even try to wash him, just please let me hold onto him for a little.”
He folded his arms looking down at us.
“Have you even named him?”
I froze for a second, before using the first thing that came to mind, which ended up being pretty awful knowing my plans.
“Cash cow.” I blurted, awkwardly patting his head.
“Honestly that’s better than what I was expecting. I was sure you’d pick ‘Hellspawn Mcgee’ or something else corny.”
He meant to make fun of me but honestly, I would have named him that if I had more time.
“Ugh, anyway I got those dumb chips you like.”
He then pulled out a bag of the wrong chips.
“Dude those are the wrong ones, this is the third time you’ve mixed up the flavors.”
He threw them at me, scaring the cat slightly.
“Well, I pay for it so you shouldn't be so picky. Anyway, while I was in line I picked up something you might be into.”
He then tossed me a trashy teen magazine. One of my least favorite sorry excuses for an influencer on the cover.
“This is a joke, right?”
I couldn't believe my own adopted brother gave such little shit in my interests.
“I don't know, you decided to start being a girl for real this time so I thought the makeup tips on page ten would help you out.”
I scrunched my face at his comment.
“Dude I’ve been this way for years, just because I started wearing more makeup and dresses doesn't mean I’m more of a girl than when I didn't. I know you won’t get the two-spirit thing but come on.”
He shrugged, seeing me done with me even though he’d just shown up.
“Yeah well hey I’m trying. Anyway, just so you know a friend of mine is coming here Friday.”
My heart stopped.
“Wait why here? You live elsewhere why can’t you assholes go there or their place!”
He slammed his fist on the table.
“Will you shut the fuck up!”
He screamed with a phrase I’d grown numb to.
“I don't know, to be honest, something about wanting to move into this complex and this being a way to scout it out. I’m just letting you know now so you don’t act like a complete freak.”
“Jokes on you I’ll piss in whatever shitty beer you bring just cause you said that!”
I yelled back raising my voice higher than his. He face-palmed before putting the plastic bags in the drawer under the sink.
“Whatever, you and your ketamine-addict-looking cat have fun,” he told me while seating himself on the couch. I picked up the cat and walked into the bathroom to clean it. I closed the door and placed him in the dry tub. Using a small disposable mouthwash cup I got a little bit of water. I hadn't had a pet before so I wasn't sure how to approach the task. I dipped my fingers in the water and carefully pet it while pouring s small bit down his back. Any other cat would fight back but he just made pissed-off noises without doing anything.
I scrapped my old shampoo bottle and kneaded it into his thin fur. His skin was bumpy and dry beneath the hair so scrubbing it was uncomfortable. I made sure to avoid getting soap in its eyes but I did pull away some of the crust on its lids. His pupils were so clouded I was surprised that he could see at all, making me feel even more sure that he would be on its way out with or without me.
After drying him I set him on a beat-up shirt I wore when modifying clothes. He sunk his claws into it a few times, playing with a loose string. I ignored him for the rest of the night, hopping into the shower and changing for bed. His meows woke me up a few times but I tuned it out after a while, reminding myself that he wouldn’t be my cat for long.
The next day was Thursday and there wasn't a second that passed by where the weight of the murder I’d have to commit didn't weigh on me. I seriously shot myself in the foot by taking care of that scruffy, pubic hair pile. I was supposed to be hyped about killing it, after all, I’d dreamed and seen way worse than what I was going to do. Yet once I got home and started setting up I felt grosser with each step. I decided to record it in my bathroom instead of my bedroom so it would be harder to connect to me. I set down a few fabric scraps and a worn-out beach towel, placing it all inside a tub for easier cleanup later.
“Okay, I guess it's time,” I mumbled to myself. I brought the cat in and placed it down, setting up my camera once it was comfortable. I also wore my most generic clothes in addition to a mask, putting my hair in a bun for sanitation. When I saw the flicker of red showing that the camera was on I felt I was dreaming. I smiled, excited that I’d get to live out my violent desires. Yet, when I looked down at its pathetic frame and confused expression those urges left me.
I rationalized what I was doing, reminding myself how many animals die all the time and that I’d been forced into this, but it didn't help much in the end. I won’t get into it but under the pressure of impressing the group Cash Cow didn't go out as fast as I would have liked for a first task. Getting rid of the evidence was especially rough, the textures were pretty nasty, to put it mildly. It was surreal watching the blood go down the tub drain and gradually drip off my hands as I rinsed them. I couldn't conjure a single thought the entire time I cleaned it up.
Whether I was wringing out the clothes or putting the remains in plastic bags, it didn't matter. All I could focus on was the task at hand, with hints of disgust along the way. I ended up finishing at three AM. My hands were wrinkled and shook once I settled. I won’t deny that during the murder I didn't hate it. Slashing into something was fun and it made me feel strong. Still, it wasn't nearly as fulfilling as I expected it to be. Part of it was guilt, but it was mostly disappointment. I’d built it up for years and it wasn't earth shatteringly good or bad.
Overall, I expected to feel more, but it just left me hollow with an uncomfortable itch. There was no way I’d ever be able to see the tub the same way, hell I don’t think I’ll ever use it again. Luckily I almost always shower anyway so it's not too big of a deal. I watched a few horror game videos, trashed everything, changed and went to bed.
My scalp hurt like a bitch the morning since I kept my hair in that stupid bun. Despite getting less sleep than the past two days I held myself together a bit better in the morning. I brushed my teeth, changed, and had some fried bread before getting on the bus. Regardless I looked like complete shit and struggled to slump into my seat.
“Rough night?” Abdul asked
“Uh, yeah.” I quietly responded looking to the floor.
He frowned, looking at me with concern.
“You can talk about it if you're comfortable,” he assured me. I contemplated giving him a thinly veiled metaphor or vague explanation so he'd comfort me but stopped myself before my mouth could run a muck. He wouldn't be able to do much of anything and I don’t like opening up.
“Uhm, thanks but it's something I have to deal with alone.”
He nodded, respecting my boundaries.
“You know, I understand if you can’t hang out today it seems like you have a lot going on.”
I avoided eye contact with him as he spoke. For once I was feeling hints of guilt toward a person. I wanted to spend time with him, but I knew that I wasn't in the state to do that.
“Yeah, I think it’ll have to wait, I’m-” I cut myself off before apologizing. A fact about me that should surprise no one is that I hate apologizing. Even when I do feel kinda bad the act fills me with embarrassment.
“You what?” he asked, his eyes telling me that he knew what I was going to say.
“I’m emotionally not great.” I spat out in an admittedly poor attempt to get out of saying sorry. As always he remained calm but I could tell he saw through me.
“Okay, like I said I understand, whatever it is I hope you feel better.”
I told him thank you and we didn't speak for the rest of the day. At home I changed into more comfortable clothes and brushed my teeth. Unfortunately, I wasn't bouncing back from killing nearly as much as I expected.
“It wasn't even that bad! That thing was on its last legs anyway.” I grumbled to myself, smacking my forehead. I was feeling worse than when I did it which is weird. I ended up spontaneously decorating a ratty tie from the bottom of an accessory drawer to distract myself. It helped me get my mind off things, for a little. I had zero plan, just wanting to make something needlessly complex. Hours that felt like minutes passed and soon it was covered in patches, frills, and beads. I just tried it on when I heard the front door open.
“Man, that shit was wild!” I heard Brick laugh groggily. I didn't have to see or smell him to know he’d gotten lit. I rolled my eyes, closing my bedroom door.
“Hey, who’s there?” his friend asked, seemingly referring to me.
“Oh, that’s my little sis, don’t mind her she’s just on her emo shit!” he joked, which pissed me off for the petty reason that I didn't even listen or dress emo.
“Hey, that’s alright with me, I went through one of those phases,” they responded, their words less slurred than my cousin’s.
I fucked up and forgot to lock it when I closed it so they were able to swing it open, almost smacking my desk.
“Hey emo girl!” they waved as Brick haphazardly pulled them back.
“Okay, man, seriously I think she wants to be left alone.”
The way his friend looked at me made me uncomfortable. Like they’d snap my neck if I pissed them off. They clicked their tongue while stepping through the door frame.
“Alright, but I gotta say calling her an emo is inaccurate, they look like they watch gore and most emos just say they do.” they flashed a sharp toothy grin. At that moment I began to connect the dots.
“Easy, she’ll get pissy with you dude, now come on.” Brick warned tugging their opened button pushed him away. They looked me dead in the eyes.
“I don’t think she minds, in truth, I feel like we’ll have a lot to discuss later.” they smiled again, finally walking back into the living room. A chill ran up my spine when I saw them. The sharp teeth, New York accent, unsettling gaze, that motherfucker was the person who recruited me! They were able to get into my place so easily cause my dumbass cousin probably gave them a spare key or the opportunity to make one, and now they were a room away from me!
I dug my hands into my pillow as I contemplated what to do, no matter what happened next, I knew it was gonna be a rough visit.

I’m super bored and cant sleep so just trying to pass the time. I’m about to be a sophomore in college. I’m in a sorority. I like tattoos (i have 2), animals, music, and photography. My favorite color is blue but I like lavender purple a lot too. I yap, I’m silly, kinda crazy. I love my friends more than anything in the world, they’re my family. Ask me anything. I dare you. Or don’t, your loss.

Reposting here for posterity
Summary: Greens hits out at policies tailored for the wealthy, not the people; saying they are devoid of care and evidence. They said if they were delivering this year's budget, they would deliver the following by taxing wealth:

• An income guarantee for everyone
• Lift every family out of poverty
• More support for students or people out of work
• Extra help if you're sick or disabled
• Payments for families so kids can thrive
• More resourcing for the public service
• Free dental care
• Cheaper power bills
• Solar panels and batteries for homes
• Climate pollution reduction

Mā te oranga o te taiao, ka ora ai te iwi. Mō te takitini, kāore mo te torutoru anake. Ki te mana whenua o tēnei rohe, tū mai rā Ngāti Whātua, tēnā koutou. Ki a tātou e huihui mai nei, ko ngā moemoeā o te Pāti Kākāriki te take, nau mai, haere mai, whakatau mai.
Tenā koutou, tēnā koutou, tēnā tātou katoa.
Sixteen million dollars.
That’s how much the coalition parties raised to win last year’s election.
Ten million for National.
Four million for Act.
Just under two million for New Zealand First.
Sixteen million dollars.
From property developers and business tycoons who have built their wealth by exploiting our natural environment.
To companies who profit from digging up our whenua and overfishing our oceans - activities that cause significant harm to our precious ecosystems.
Sixteen million dollars helped to put this government into power.
And in a little less than two weeks, the coalition government will unveil its first budget.
It has clearly been difficult for them to put it together.
To the right, Act is trying to fire all the people who make our public services work, while in their own cooker corner New Zealand First hoards 1.2 billion dollars for hand-chosen pet projects.
The Coalition has found half a billion dollars for new defence spending, but cancelled projects to improve buses and trains in Auckland and Wellington.
They’re borrowing billions to cover the cost of cutting taxes for wealthy property investors, because they’ve realised that the promises they made during the election campaign were slapdash and expensive.
Meanwhile, people with the least face ever higher costs.
Bus fares have already gone up.
Rents continue to rise, while the government is giving tax breaks to landlords instead of investing in more public housing.
So on Budget Day, when we see what the coalition has been able to cobble together, I want you to remember: sixteen million dollars.
What’s in the Budget for the people who paid for National’s election campaign?
And what could have been in the budget instead if Aotearoa had a Government that prioritised people and planet?
Because I am not here for the relative few who donated those sixteen million dollars.
I am here for the many, including the 330,000 people who trusted the Green Party with their votes last year.
And I want to thank you all once again.
Your voices will continue to be heard.
You told us you wanted us to fight for an Aotearoa where everyone can get by, where our native wildlife and oceans thrive, where we take bold climate action, and where we honour Te Tiriti o Waitangi.
That is what we are doing. And we will be loud. And we will be staunch as always.
I am here for those who cannot sit by while the government tries to take the country backwards on the issues that matter most.
While the goal of a smoke-free generation goes up in smoke.
While new coal mines are dug into our precious conservation land, even as the Prime Minister claims to want to achieve climate change targets.
While the few with extraordinary wealth get what they want, at the expense of everyone else.
The Greens have always been, and will always be, the voice for a different kind of politics.
A politics centred in justice through honouring te Tiriti o Waitangi, not using it to drive a wedge in our communities.
A politics that celebrates the potential our country could live up to if it was grounded in manaakitanga and equity.
That acknowledges the richness of generations of tangata whenua and tangata tiriti working together to care for our whenua and collectively enjoying the fruits of mahitahi.
Where we protect Papatūānuku out of aroha for her, and respect that her wellbeing is also what keeps us alive.
Where we share what we have so everyone in Aotearoa can live a good life.
Everything the Greens won over the last two terms in government with Labour was hard fought. Governments must make tradeoffs. But Governments are defined by their choices.
And right now, the coalition is making theirs clear.
If the Greens were delivering this year’s budget, I’ll tell you what would be in it.
An income guarantee, so no matter what, everyone has what they need to live a decent life.
We could lift every family in Aotearoa out of poverty, and give people the peace of mind that they’ll be supported if they fall on tough times.
More support for students and people out of work, extra help if you’re sick or disabled, and simple payments for families so all kids can thrive.
Free dental care.
Successive governments have let basic dental healthcare get so expensive, that forty percent - forty percent! - of people avoid going to the dentist.
It’s just too expensive.
In Aotearoa, we could choose to resource our public health services - funded by taxes on wealth, so that everyone can be looked after when they need it.
And if the Greens were putting together the Budget, it would fund our plan to make your homes warmer while cutting down your power bills AND climate pollution.
Solar panels and batteries for homes to store the sun’s free energy, taking pressure off the power grid.
But this year, with the help of sixteen million dollars from some of the wealthiest people in Aotearoa, National, Act, and New Zealand First have the privilege of making those decisions.
And I say to them, what are you going to do with it?
You have the choice to end poverty.
Or to give tax breaks to landlords.
To give back more to people who earn their living, instead of tax breaks for people who own more houses than they need, and who already get untaxed capital gains.
You have the choice to invest in solar power, or open up new coal mines.
The choices people make when they have power show us what they are motivated by. These choices define the world they want to create.
So today I want to talk with you about what motivates the Green Party.
Ko te mana o Te Tiriti.
Ko te oranga o te Taiao.
Ko ngā tūmanako mō ngā tamariki.
We are motivated by generations of movements and leaders who have pushed for the sovereignty of tangata whenua guaranteed by te Tiriti o Waitangi.
A partnership on which this country was built, despite the continuous breaches by the Crown partner.
The Green Party is a Tiriti party.
Our leadership is a partnership between tangata whenua and tangata tiriti.
Our work seeks to honour the commitments made generations ago, to prosper together.
Our commitment to Tiriti justice is absolutely integral to everything the Greens do - just as it is integral to the future of Aotearoa.
Tino rangatiratanga is at the heart of healing relationships across communities and reconnecting all of us with our seas, our rivers, our bush, our mountains, and our whenua.
And central to our vision for a Tiriti-based future, is our commitment to restoring and protecting nature.
Because nature is in crisis.
Just out these doors, and below our feet, in the Hauraki Gulf, the impacts of commercial overfishing and the pollution washing into the water from the land, has brought the ecosystem to the brink.
North and west of here, great kauri are critically threatened.
To the south, unique animals found in no other country, are at risk from the bulldozers of mining companies, unless we protect them.
Four thousand different native species are at risk of extinction in Aotearoa.
Four thousand.
We can turn that around, but it takes commitment. It takes effort. It takes mahitahi. And it takes choices. Choices that put people and planet first, instead of a cynical politics that serves the short-term interests of wealthy donors.
If the government chooses not to prioritise restoring the health of the natural world in its first budget, that shows what they are motivated by, and it shows what kind of world they are prepared to leave to our tamariki.
It is our tamariki and mokopuna that motivate the Greens.
Not just the ones born tomorrow, but those after that, for seven generations down the line.
Sustainability doesn’t just mean sustainability for nature, but for people too. This planet is our home. We need it to thrive.
The Greens have always been deeply motivated by care for other people, for communities, for those with us today and for those who will come after us.
We are motivated by every single child who goes to bed hungry tonight.
We are motivated by every single adult who isn’t sure how they’ll pay the rent or mortgage next week.
As winter hits, we are motivated by every person who sits in the cold, staring at the heater, knowing they can’t afford to turn it on.
Our challenge to the coalition government is to prove that you are motivated by this too.
Choose to do something about it.
The solutions to many of the problems we face in Aotearoa are clear. This week I had the privilege of meeting with rangatahi, and hearing about the solutions they want to see in their communities. They are THE experts in their own experience - and they know they need to be empowered and given better opportunities; not marginalised, patronised, ignored, and punished.
But the coalition government doesn’t like those solutions, because they don’t fit its agenda. They prefer catch phrases like “social investment”, to real data and lived experience.
A Government which says it is motivated by evidence-based solutions has cut funding to the world class Growing up in New Zealand study, and continues to ignore the evidence it provides. Like the evidence that 40% of children live in the most deprived areas.
If this government was truly invested in improving social outcomes, it would affirm and resource the experts who know best and have proven the most.
And that includes empowering the people with the lived experience of the systems failing them and their whānau. It requires removing all the barriers to wellbeing such as poverty and homelessness. We need to support whole whānau, instead of focusing on ‘fixing’ an individual after they’ve already been broken by poverty and neglect, and expecting them to rise above circumstances of deprivation that we should have all worked together to prevent in the first place. We need the solutions to be grounded in community knowledge and care. I hope this government is open to sitting with kai rangahau Māori and families to learn more about what really needs to change.
When the Crown has repeatedly failed to be accountable for the harm it has caused to whānau Māori, it is clear that we need an authentic transfer of power and resources - with a partnership of a strong public and social services sector working together, with communities, hapū and iwi, and whānau.
I have seen what works to support people off a destructive path in life. To instead become the best of themselves. There is a mountain of evidence about approaches that work where all other attempts have failed - particularly where there is deep trauma.
These approaches, like Kaupapa Māori interventions, build the strength of whānau and community.
Now for far too long, successive governments have been stuck on catch phrase politics, devoid of evidence or genuine care.
Policies like bootcamps for the young, benefit sanctions for the already struggling, higher criminal penalties - a punitive, petty politics that makes life harder for those already
excluded, and does nothing to keep communities safe and well. This is divisive, stale, cruel and ineffective.
When I have met and listened to the very people at the forefront of this cruelty, the impact has been clear.
Such punitive and dehumanising measures have instead caused even further disconnection and hopelessness. The Greens know that meeting trauma with punishment isn’t going to work. I want rangatahi to hear us loud and clear. You matter. Your whānau matters. You deserve dignity, a community and a country that sees your strength.
At a basic level, I think we all agree that identifying the causes of persistent hardship, and supporting people to get out of those situations, is a good idea.
And we all agree that the measure of a government’s success is whether it achieves outcomes, not how much money it spends on trying.
But the Government isn’t actually doing this.
Two weeks ago the Minister of Finance said her government will “use hard evidence to invest in what works.”
On that same day, the Minister of Social Development announced that people on a benefit will face financial sanctions if they don’t attend work seminars.
Let me be clear, work seminars don’t help people find jobs they’re suited for - let alone create meaningful work with decent pay and conditions. The Ministry of Social Development has told the Minister there is no evidence for the government’s cruel approach. Sanctions do not make a difference for the number of people moving into paid work.
And the evidence against sanctions is extremely clear.
Financial sanctions for beneficiaries, who already don’t have enough income to pay for life’s essentials, simply push people into further hardship.
That affects their children, their whānau, and their whole communities.
Instead, people need tailored support into work that matches their skills and interests, with a guaranteed income while retraining.
At the same time, the Government needs to invest in creating sustainable jobs that transition our economy away from fossil fuels.
Jobs with decent pay, secure hours and support for people to balance caregiving responsibilities. Jobs that support wellbeing for whānau, instead of seeing workers as just a cog in a labour machine.
When the Government rolls out policies like benefit sanctions, they are making a choice to ignore the evidence about the effect of their actions.
And it is our job to expose that.
I cannot say it enough: we have everything we need in Aotearoa for everyone to live a decent life.
We know what people need to rise up out of persistent hardship.
A warm, dry, affordable, and accessible home.
Healthy kai on the table.
The freedom to go to the doctor or the dentist when they need to, without having to worry about the cost.
And next week, the Government has a choice whether to put people at the heart of the budget - or not. If they don’t, they are holding back the potential of our people and our communities to thrive.
And we will ask, exactly who are they governing for?
The Greens are here for the many, not just the few.
We carry decades of political leadership with us, starting from the late Jeanette Fitzsimons and Rod Donald, through to our newest co-leader Chloe Swarbrick.
We are here thanks to the thousands upon thousands of volunteers over the last three decades.
The many grassroots-led movements who we are honoured to have worked with for the kaupapa.
We draw our strength from knowing we are powered by the many. This gives us the strength to oppose a government whose sixteen million dollars of political donations got them where they are today.
Thanks to our people-powered campaign, we have our largest Caucus ever.
And it represents Aotearoa more than it ever has before.
Green politics is the alternative to this cynical, cruel coalition government.
And we are only just getting started.

AITAH for breaking ties with my cousin sister
I moved to different country 9 yrs ago when i was 20 yrs old...My cousin sister and me had a very beautiful bond since i was a kid and basically she did my upbringing as a kid like part of it and then got married and went abroad 20 yrs ago when i was 9/10 yrs old...After moving to abroad,I lived at my cousin sister house with her husband,children and father-in-law for 2 and half months.My BIL helped me in getting my 1st job here.My cousin sis(then 38yrs) and BIL(maybe 39) are quite older than me
So the story goes that i was about to be 20 yrs old and was in a different country so learning everything took me a while.I use to work 12 hour shift and BIL use to come to pick me up from work.My BIL and me never got along.At nights,whenever me and my cousin sis and BIL,her in laws use to discuss about certain topic like life,what to do next etc so generally my views use to be different than my BIL and we never got along...We use to fight on small things like why i went to my room after 12 hour shift and didn't sit with them at 1 am,didn't wakeup at 7 am to make tea for everyone,got tattoo made on my arm and was judged for it, etc
I come from abusive family(my mom and dad got seperate before i was born).I never got emotional support from my family,felt absense of my dad alot and didnt knew what family look alike or felt like...I was my mom's emotional support since i was kid and had to deal with her mental breakdowns .So coming back to story my BIL was finding rooms for me so i got a room near their house accidently...At times,i use to visit them and again due to having different views about certain things,I was told to leave their house..One time my BIL cussed at me on phone for some reason and i couldn't stop crying and told my family about it.I was still told that I am wrong at this by my family.I might have also not been a good guest which i don't deny.
I moved to different city and visited my sis after 3 yrs...on 3rd day,got in fight with cousin sister cause i came from work from night shift at 3 am and slept at 4 am but i didnt wakeup in the morning at 7 am or 8 am or 9 am to help my sister so BIL was pissed at this and i was told to leave the house by my cousin sister.I was going through difficult phase at that time because of my relationship with my then bf(now ex) and had nowhere to live.I lived at hotel for 2 days and found place to rent on 3rd day.
Moving forward 4 yrs later my sis was terribly ill and had operation and i didn't go because of my work and i didn't get leave even...I was not on good terms with BIL so didn't call him and i had this weird feel like i was scared to call my BIL...and i talked to my sister later after few days but whenever i talked about coming over to her house after the operation,she would disconnect the phone.I prayed to god everyday for my sister's good health literally but i couldn't get past the things how their behaviour was when i was going through the worst period of my life and had no one to rely on.I don't have any siblings.
Now my uncle is coming here from back home and today on call with me, i was made to feel like i am the black sheep of my family...I was told to either marry within 1 yr or afterthat nobody in the family is going to ask about it,cut ties with me and i can do whatever i want.I was told that i was wrong to not visit my sister when she had operation.
I just don't know with whom to talk to about my feelings.I had toxic childhood and my bringing up was litterly like having mental breakdown.I Don't have any family support in any way but i made some good friends along the way...It took me quite some time to get hold of myself mentally...
So am i wrong here for breaking ties with my cousin sister and BIL or AITAH??? Thanks for reading

(i'm going thru a bit of writer's block, so here's a character and a bit of her thoughts on the country that she lives in. ask her anything about it!)
Anemon Hasevelde is a terminal year student at the prestigious Erten Koldmun Special Gymnasium in Feilangard, a city in the temperate mid-south of Rugiland.
Like most of her peers, Anemon is enrolled in the Seventeenth of March Pioneers, the youth (and paramilitary) wing of the sole ruling Rugish Revolutionary Party. The school party cell rates her unsuitable for leadership roles, mediocre at marksmanship (still begged for permission to bring a K64/65 as a prop to her yearbook photo), but deeply, fervantly politically aware.
Anemon usually plays her fascination with this boring, pointless subject off as needing the grades for such-and-such universities, but whenever she gets into yet another protracted debate with Mr. Kväran, with her signature grave and serious-sounding flare-ups of northern tropical Rugish, things obviously say otherwise. Not like it's that big of a deal being a bit of a nerd in a nerd school, but when classmates mime her northern vulgarity and adults shake their heads at it, when they ask if she is sweaty wearing the school blazer in November, it does feel as if that street vendor is giving her tourist prices all over again. The fact that Anemon can't codeswitch into southern Rugish when she's worked up is a personal failing she's trying to fix.
Like, "Rugish" was a term "coined" by The Revolutionary, in reality borrowed from a derogatory Chamavian term ascribed to the "barbarians" who dwelt "beyond the eastern wastes," to unite some disparate thirty million people of only similar-ish language and culture into a coherent anti-colonial movement. The Revolutionary told her flock to forget any distinction between "the varied but singular Rugish folk" that were put there by "imperialism and its collaborators to […] carve up the Motherland." The actual situation is, of course, very different.
And that's not to mention the maritime and montane Rugilanders who don't speak Rugish. Why are their cultures thought of as regional or indigenous--not Rugish--while hers is? Why did the Revolutionary even had to come up with "Rugilander" as a term separate to "Rugish" in the first place?
Mr. Kväran said there's a reason why Rugish journalists only say such things when they and their family are already overseas. Her classmates are just glad Anemon's debates enable them to slack off.
If you wanted to know what she looked like, Anemon tries to fit in. Like most other girls, her head is shaven and two fingertip-sized dots are tattooed under her dominant eye. Those used to be a body count during the Revolutionary War, but their current meaning ranges from a body count to a marker of position in the Pioneers, where she was a secretary for the previous school year. Anemon also has a small arrow tattoo conspicuously located on the right side of her neck, which her classmates sometimes laugh at, but she doesn't get why. Her school blazer is probably glued to her skin, so is her Pioneer white scarf, and she wears matching fingerless mitts comes rain or shine. Anemon is glad she doesn't have to think about what to wear every morning.

*CONTAINS SWEARING*
This is gonna be a hefty and most likely triggering post for specific groups of people out there (meaning people who struggle with anger, people who don't want poltical content/opinions etc), so please stop reading and leave if you figure this is gonna be rough for you. This will (mainly) be about the conflict between Palestine and Israel. (and apparently a long one) No hate towards any specific groups of people, but I do have a lot of *frustration regarding behaviours*.
Before I start, I want you to remember some facts about me as you read;
I am autistic
I am heavily influenced by world peace, hate, racism and other unfair situations
I have incredibly high standards for myself that I strive to not break, including, but not limited to, being kind and respectful *always*, despite being in a bad mood, not liking someone, or disagreeing, especially political disagreements
I have always, and will always, stand against widespread hate, racism and other discrimination towards any specific religions, ethnicities, nationalities, cultures, etc.
I also want you to know that I named this throwaway accordingly.
So let's get this shitshow started then, shall we.
As the details of the conflict stands, it is beyond obvious to me that this is racism and, literally, a Holocaust. Not *the* Holocaust, but *a* Holocaust. Oxford Languages has the term defined as a destruction or slaughter on a mass scale, especially caused by fire or nuclear war . I'd say that's very much accurate. Proof to come.
Regardless, this situation has had me very pressed the last almost 8 months, as I know most other people have been too. Without getting too much into the conflict itself, I want to talk a little about what I've seen from the Jewish community.
This is where I advise anyone who struggles with anger especially to leave and try to keep your day positive. If you have a magical potion to stay stable after this, who am I to stop you...
Alright, onto the dreaded part. And yes, I am stalling.
I have never, and I truly mean *never* had any hateful thoughts or opinions about religions (other than Christianity but that's one for another time), and as we are all aware of, The Holocaust had massive effect on the world some 80 years ago. I have always seen Jews as victims due to this, but in recent times I've realised that a lot of them, too, see themselves as victims. The issue is that they aren't the victims right now. They (Israel) aren't defending themselves, they have nothing to defend themselves against. Israel is currently doing the exact same thing as Germany did to them, to Palestine. Sure, maybe at some point who knows when, Palestine *was* the land of Jews, but since then, multiple religions have been thriving together on that land, including Jews. They were never excluded. From what I've understood, there weren't any wars or conflicts going on within the country that didn't happen elsewhere. The issue began when in the late 1940's zionists brutally murdered families to steal their homes. I'm sure the situation was so much more complex than that, but in a nutshell that is basically it. The fact that everyone today have been so desensitized from the travesties happening around the world is depressing and hope-killing. I truly am well on the way to giving up, and at this point in time I'm so angry all the time due to the Middle East's situation.
So a few weeks ago, probably closing in on months at this point, I randomly got a notification from reddit about someone posting on /Jewish. They didn't say anything explicit, so I pressed the notification and I was met with the worst victimization and ignorance I've ever seen. I truly believed most jews would see this for what it is, and not let some racist maniac spoon-feed them propaganda and hate, but I was brutally and humbly proven wrong. They were mocking proPAL parades, hating on news anchors and civilians alike calling this a genocide, insisting that Israel has no other choice, saying "casualties happens in war", convincing each other that zionism is a good thing, and feeling sorry for themselves when friends and families cut contact because they said they supported Israel and saw this as the only solution. Some might have been genuine problems, idk, but for the most part, that subreddit seems to only be about hating the rest of the world because their great grandparents were killed. I know I sound like a complete asshole, but the world isn't antisemetic anymore - they are actively looking for it and then using that one person telling them to stop feeling so sorry for themselves as proof that everybody in the world wants to throw them back in gas chambers.
I commented on my personal once where I mentioned that judaism and zionism are two separate things and got downvoted to oblivion. Someone replied saying that my comment was very much exactly what they too feel, but I got downvoted *simply because* I referred to them as separate entities. That is another criticism they've recieved lately; the pure idea of zionism is on the complete opposite side from what Judaism stands for. I've seen so many of the members there calling Jews protesting against Israel "self-hating" and traitors.
I've also made so many replies that I never sent because I know for a fact they would do anything in their power to ban me from ever using reddit again, and I wouldn't be surprised if I got doxxed and harrassed IRL from it. I saved them all, though. I found that it was kind of therapeutic to get it out, but it still bugs me that I never found a way to say it to them. I once also made a post about my rage for their behaviour connected to this genocide, but I thankfully stopped myself before I posted it. I'm so enraged by their sheer ignorance and hypocritical behaviour, all the while Gaza is still being eradicated and slaughtered, war crimes happening day in-day out, inhumane atrocities by the IOF being posted and hailed, and they have the audacity to say that they are the victims? That Israel has no other choice but martyring tens of thousands of CHILDREN? Starving the entire Gaza Strip, segregating West Bank, literally teaching their young in school to hate and attack arabs? That last one might not be true as I don't speak Hebrew or Arabic, so anyone could've just made up the translation, but I still feel it's worth mentioning in case it actually *is* real.
My point is that the guts they have to claim to be so moral, yet still be so unfaced from what's happening in Gaza is beside me. Sure, for those living near the Gaza wall, I'm positive that hearing bombs and screams were traumatizing as fuck, but to then leave for work the next day and claim that "shit happens"? It's insane! It's inhumane. They can leave whenever they like, children can play football (soccer) in the streets and not having to worry about shit, hotels and restaurants with 5-star ratings thriving, plants and flowers still blooming, absolutely no threats on a daily basis. The fact that people are still calling this a war, something necessary, is beyond devastating to me. There are millions still siding with zionism, claiming there's nothing wrong with the belief that you have an innate right to some dirt simply because your holy book says that thousands of years ago, your religion lived there, and simply because of that religious fact you are rightfully owed thousands of young lives, the death of an entire country with its own culture, just to feed the irrational religious political system? How in God's name has that ever, *IS* that still okay? If Muslims were the ones saying that shit, they would've been completely destroyed by now, today's generation wouldn't know what the fuck Islam was. They are still being slaughtered though, because they're saying it's *not* okay. How is that not racist again?
My brother and I got into a heated argument a few days ago about this. I am very much *for* Palestine to have human rights and to own their own land - he is very much *against* "ugly blackies" having any rights because they're *not* human. Boi when I tell you I got so angry I started crying. And the worst part about that fight? He claims that Jews aren't any better, however they still deserve to defend themselves against children running on the beach. "But Hamas-" is so over-used and outdated by now, it just proves that he doesn't follow up on statistics and evidence. Even if there only were one-sided news (from Gaza), the fact that the ICJ ruled Israel's actions a genocide and war crimes still proves everything he claims to be "n*****'s propaganda". And the fact that he so underminds my autism and *need* for factual evidence before discussing it also goes to show that he genuinely does not care about anything other than the black "terrorists" being eradicated. I said "So you're not just a racist, you're just plain racist?" he just scoffed and looked at me as if I just said the most nonsensical bullshit gibberish ever, practically saying "I'm not gonna say anything, but it really took you that long to realise?" Either that, or he actually didn't comprehend the words coming out of my mouth, like it was a foreign language or something. Because he genuinely does not have a single reason to be racist.
He can't even blame suicide attacks because 1) not all are carried by muslims, and 2) between 1981-2015 around 45,000 were killed by suicide attacks worldwide, where in 2019 the total death toll was only 1,699 more than amount of attacks; whereas in Gaza, between Oct 7 to present there are about 34,000 confirmed palestinian deaths, and assumed around 42,000 with unconfirmed deaths. If, in 36 years, "muslim terrorism" killed about the same amount as Israel has in almost 8 months, how on earth are Arabs the terrorists?
And I've also seen the argument that 30,000 is nothing compared to the total population in Gaza, as if that makes it okay. I will, again, make example of The Holocaust. When 30,000 Jews were martyred, people were already catching on, and this was without the technology we have today.
How have we been allowing this to happen to Palestinians *with* our technology today? Why haven't people been doing more; striking our jobs, cummute chauffeurs striking, proper permanent boycotts, more coverage from news anchors and private people alike? Even if it is to officially reclaim your love for white supremacy, you're still talking about it. Why are people still not reading up on this? Why does millions still not know that this *didn't* begin on October 7th? And why are there still those who claim that the past doesn't matter today? I have so many questions, and if I do get an answer I will only end up with more questions. How hasn't the world stopped over this? Why are people so okay knowing that there are children being intentionally murdered every single day? How can you go to work and talk about Dave's new tie? Or your 6 year old's birthday party with 15 other 6 year olds? Hasn't it crossed your mind that if the roles were reversed, your precious princess would be the one burried under tons of rubble, dying slowly while simontaniously starving, dehydrating, suffocating and crushing, and *knowing* that absolutely no one cares because you're [skin color] and it's normal for your kids to be horrendously massacred? "Oh but the Taliban-ISIS-Al Qaeda" OKAY so what are you gonna do to help save innocent lives and suffering??? How are you gonna contribute to STOP these organizations that have manipulated and murdered to rule their country and are intentionally making the citicens miserable? Are you even aware that your own govurnment is essentially the same fucking thing, just disguised as a well dressed, polite gentleman? Aren't you sick of all those ads on TV showing brown children with flies in their eyes? Or your mama telling you to think about the starving children in Africa? Because I am.
I am so sick and tired of how inhumane humans have come to be. You don't see animals (and I'm trying my best to not mention how humans *are* animals, guess I failed) intentionally kill another animal simply because they're that animal. They kill prey; polar bears kill seals, seals kill penguins, penguins kill fish, fish kill amoebas, and you can get to that result from absolutely everything. What you don't find as a natural event is a golden, brown mane lion attack and kill an albino lion simply because it's albino. You don't see a school of fish swim away from one with two heads, because "*omg Jared is such a freak with his two heads*." So why the FUCK DID WE START DOING THAT? Where did this hunger for power come from? You *will* see a female lion tell the king that enough is enough, and he *will* accept that. I could go on and on for DAYS if I got the chance, but I don't wanna get too off topic here.
I've started a list of all the universally illegal shit Israel has done, and once I'm satisfied with it, I'll make one comparing Israel to Palestine, and then Arabs/Muslims as a whole. I can guarantee that I will still hear "on-sided sources" still, or "You can't trust Wikipedia!" Have you ever tried to edit or create an article on Wikipedia? I have, and I had to confirm that I had a degree or a current valid work ID to prove that I was elgible to speak on the topic. I tried to make a site for myself... Sure, there are more trustworthy sites, but even in a discussion about wether or not being trans is a mental illness, where I quoted and linked all of the most well known official sources like WHO, I was still slapped with "but this shady ass article from a random Deutch website that explicitly says everything I've said, yet still isn't actually saying the same thing because I misquoted and mixed the words to form my own sentence says that it is" when they literally linked a website called "disabled world". I will say though, I agree with that name. Today's world is so non-funtional for neurotypical, hetero, white MEN, it's no fucking wonder everyone else are classified as disabled or whatever. Also, on that disabled topic, if you've made it this far, please don't say "differently abled". A quote unquote quote (heh geddit? cuz it's rephrased and I don't have the book near me rn to directly quote) from Devon Price's "Unmasking Autism" that I really like: "You wouldn't say "a person with Asianness", you'd say "an Asian person"." We are disabled because today's world isn't made for us, and for the most part isn't even accomodated or accessible to us. We are different, yeah, but literally everyone is. We just got that term because we can't do the same things as you (assuming you're neurotypical) without aid. We are able, just not like you. Of course, if an autistic person tells you they prefer "person with autism", listen to them! But most of us embrace it as a part of us because we can't just get rid of it. Autism is what make me me, I wouldn't be me without my autism, so I *am* autistic, for better or for worse. :)
I find it kinda ironic that I started this as a venting about a lot of Jews' hypocritical behaviour, and now ending up on autism. Yaknow, cuz Dr. Asperger during WW2 experimented and tortured autistic people, and found out that some where more alike him than others, which then coined the term Aspergers for the Autistic Community.
Anywho, I feel better now, so thanks for letting me vent a little (a lot). I want to finish off by restating my intro; I have not, and will not tolerate any hate, racism or discrimination towards any religion, ethnicity, nationality, culture etc. This post is not intended as a rant about how aweful jews are, because they're not. I just wanted to air some frustration over their behaviour regarding I/P genocide. This is also not about *all* Jews, but that's the same discussion as "not all men" so I'll leave it at that.
I will delete this account in a week, so if you have any questions, be fast ig. If you find I've mis-phrased, used irrationally insensitive wording or any other complaints that calls for a repost, I will fix it and post an updated version. My DMs will also be available if that should be of interest, but I will not be responding to hate or personal attacks for my opinions. If the issue is my wording, again, tell me and I'll fix it.
At this point I've written so much that I don't remember if I found anything myself that I figured was worth fixing, and I've proof read it so many times that my eyes are crossing and giving me a headache lol
Gosh I'm scared of posting this. I don't want anyone to read this and think I support what A. H. did in 1940 cuz I cannot begin to describe my hatred for that man

Long story short: i’ve lived in dc for the past 25 years and am looking for a drastic change of pace. Willing to go to other continents, currently have USA and IRE passports. Accounting bachelor’s and master’s with 2 years experience and speak ENG, ESP, GER, and JPN. Got to therapy to address underlying issues and make myself better. Have 2 tattoos on right arm and cover them up on a regular basis.
Hi there guys, hope you all are doing well.
So i ended up having a quarter life culminate up to a point where Ive started going to therapy about myself. I got fired back in February as an accountant and have struggled to get another job in the same field. So at this point, im willing to take a lesser paying job in order to move somewhere else, it doesnt matter what, and i can do serving/bartending and willing to do hard labor. Ive always had my identity as living in Washington dc for a long time, but now im at a point where i’ve gotten sick and tired of where I currently am in my life, and I feel like a part of that is the environment which I have grown up and learned in. And I 100% believe that i love it is due to the area which ive grown in and the culture of that area. But part of me thinks that ive gotten too comfortable and im not actively pushing myself to be better
i’ve taken two vacations this year to different countries both Japan and Canada, specifically Montreal. I really enjoyed my time with both of these places and part of me feels like I romanticize too heavily about living there. whether it’s because of how I currently am or if I want something better.
That being said : I have dual citizenship with Ireland and America along with family over there. I don’t want to claim that i know but i believe i would be able to get a work visa in a european country easier than solely with my USA passport. I currently speak Spanish, German, and Japanese and actively study languages as a hobby. Im willing as well to learn French if some opportunity comes up for it as well. that being said, I really enjoy the environment of Montreal and I feel like I fit in well here. Theres this unique feeling to it that i really like like its almost european and i think thats something i really like about the city. My problem us im not sure entirely what i want, other than realizing where maybe I feel stuck and want to go to a different place.
So where would you guys do if you were me? Thank you.
So where should I go? Thank you.

My (27F) fiance’s (28M) parents are the cream of the AH crop. I can’t say publicly that to anyone ever IRL so Reddit gets to hear it.
His parents coddle the family fuck up, whom of which is my fiancés brother who got a hookup pregnant, is broke but spends it all on drugs and tattoos, and gets away with it all because his parents now have a grandchild.
My fiancé and his other siblings all get the short end of the stick, my fiancé especially because he’s a responsible and kind person. He sucks it up when he gets put in positions of having to give up things for his brother, and his parents constantly go back on their word in order to satisfy and coddle the brother. I have no words; they don’t make an effort to connect with my fiance, they don’t recognize how hard he works for himself and others.
The straw that broke the camels back was when they decided to give the fuck up one of the family’s possessions as a rental-house warming gift. My fiancé was promised it but his AH parents decided to give it to the fuck up last minute. When I tried to confront them they pretended that they had no idea. My fiancé then tells me that he feels like no matter how good of a person he is, he feels like he’s being punished for not being a fuck up. It breaks my heart so much.
I hate coddling parents. You both suck and you both deserve nothing good since you threw away the only good kids you ever had. Have fun raising this asshole fuck up for the rest of your lives.

Hi there, thanks for checking me out!
A little about me:
• I’m a married stay at home mom (I usually have a lot of time to chat) of 2 kids, 5 and 10.
• I have 4 pets - 2 cats, 1 dog, and 1 hamster.
• I have a lot of tattoos.
• I love RPG video games like Skyrim, Fallout 4, Stardew Valley, The Witcher 3, The Sims. I have a PS5, Switch, and PC.
• I love all music but I mostly listen to rock, metal, and grunge music.
• My favorite show is Family Guy and I love to watch any and all Gordon Ramsay reality shows like Kitchen Nightmares, Hell’s Kitchen, and Masterchef.
• I love to crochet and I love my houseplants.
• I like to talk about pretty much anything. I have a dark sense of humor and love memes and joking around.
• I would prefer you’re also a parent so we have something in common from the start.
• I’m seeking a platonic friendship, no flirting or vulgaintimate photos please.
• Mental health advocate.
Am I someone you can relate to?
Ice breaker question: when you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I found out a man Id been seeing for over a year is married. Told me he's separated "done and dusted" was the phrase. Doesn't take me long to find people online. Not gonna say how I found out, cos F*** him and I don't want him to know but it was an easy Internet search. Turns out he's done it loads even when she was pregnant with their first baby. His wife is a stupid c***. She said she was told by other women it was just sex, but for us... he met some of my family, we had nights out, I had things in his flat like toothbrush, exorcise hour conditioner, bath robe. He'd put my favourite wine and snacks in his home fridge for me for after work for movie time. He's probably told her since I told her that it was just sex, but it wasn't. He invested time in me. I'm completely done so the time now seems like the biggest con, and I hope he jumps off a balcony. His sons don't need a mother who constantly allows a man to cheat on her, and they also don't deserve a father who disrespectfully cheats on their mother time and time again.

A Homily Prepared For Sunday May 19, 2024
The Collect
O God, who on this day taught the hearts of your faithful people by sending to them the light of your Holy Spirit: Grant us by the same Spirit to have a right judgment in all things, and evermore to rejoice in his holy comfort; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
The Gospel
John 7:37–39a
37 In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.
38He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.
39 (But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.)
Commentary on Today’s Gospel Selection;
In our Gospel selection for today, Pentecost Sunday, we look at an event which takes place on the last day of the Feast of Tabernacles, also known as Feast of Booths, and Sukkot. The event takes place in SeptembeOctober, and celebrates the fall harvest of grapes and olives. It lasts seven days with a holy convocation on the eighth day (Leviticus 23:36).
Jewish law specifies that, during the Feast of Tabernacles, Jewish people “You shall dwell in booths seven days. All who are native-born in Israel shall dwell in booths, that your generations may know that I made the children of Israel to dwell in booths, when I brought them out of the land of Egypt” (Leviticus 23:42-43). It also characterizes this feast as a fall harvest festival (Exodus 23:16; Deuteronomy 16:13).
It was during this feast or celebrations that:
“Jesus stood and cried, saying,If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.” (vs. 37-38) To understand the context of the situation in which Jesus stands and makes this pronouncement, you have to understand the daily rituals which took place during the festival.
During the first six days of the week long event, a priest would go to the Pool of Siloam and draw a pitcher full of water, then march in procession back to the temple with the people repeating from a verse found in Isaiah 12:3, “Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.”
Then upon returning to the temple the priest would pour out the water in an offering to God, commemorating the water that poured from the rock that sustained the ancient Israelites (Exodus 17:1-7; Numbers 20:1-13) as well as the rains that sustained Israel during the year just passed.
Everyday for six days, the people had been celebrating the water that had given their people physical sustenance; Jesus now tells them that he is capable of satisfying their spiritual thirst.
“as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.”(v. 38b) Just as we today think of the heart as being the center of emotions, (e.g. from the heart) in those times, they believed that the belly was the place where warm kindly benevolent feelings were generated. Jesus is saying that those who believe in him will receive these spiritual waters, waters of spiritual blessings, salvation.
When lost in the desert, the children of Israel thought the waters from God that materialized as flowing from a rock, were a blessing, a salvation in the physical sense for those who faced death from thirst (dehydration.) At the core of Jesus message to them that day, lies the fact that instead of worshiping an event that took place hundreds of years beforehand, a miracle that only provided physical sustenance for a brief time, they should be paying attention to his message which offers an eternal spiritual sustenance.
This verse brings to mind Jesus’ words to the Samaritan woman, “the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life” (John 4:13-14).
Jeremiah 2:13 also contains a reference to spiritual water: “For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.” Likewise we see in Jeremiah 17:13 “O LORD, the hope of Israel, all that forsake thee shall be ashamed, and they that depart from me shall be written in the earth, because they have forsaken the LORD, the fountain of living waters.” Perhaps Jesus recognized this disparity which could be seen in the religious rite in which the people celebrated his Father’s gift of water for physical thirst while remaining obvious to “the fountain of living waters” that God offered them.
In writing this Gospel, John the Evangelist, adds a note to the reader in verse 39; “But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.”
Here we find an explanation as to why these verses were selected for Pentecost Sunday, the day that the Holy spirit descended upon the Followers of Christ. Water and the Spirit are connected elsewhere in John — for example, when Jesus tells Nicodemus that “Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.” (3:5). In Jesus’ conversation with the Samaritan woman, living water is the symbol of the revelation of God in Christ which satisfies all spiritual thirst (4:10-15). “But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.” (John 4:14)
This living water that springs up into everlasting life, as promised by Jesus, is water that satisfies one’s spiritual thirst. A water that traditionally has been found through attendance and membership in the church, where one learns about the message and teachings of Christ, the essence of the water itself.
Unfortunately over the last decade, we have watched a great exodus from the church; in particular the old main-line churches. Those churches hemorrhaging membership most excessively, are those who in recent years have spent less time on—if not totally abandoning—the Gospel of Christ, while embracing a social gospel that may be based on good intentions, but none the less fails to address the people’s spiritual thirst.
Indeed, when questioned by pollsters attempting to gather information regarding this great exodus, a large number of people say that they identify as “spiritual but not religious.” Assuming that these people are indeed spiritual, then we can also assume that they are not finding in these churches, the water and spirit, with which to satisfy their thirst.
Ironically, we find the Hebrew people in chapter 7 attending a great celebration, one in which the observances commemorate important events in their history as a people chosen by God. Annual celebrations that for them, were certainly fun and wondrous to participate in, but yet—as Jesus noted by his crying out—they were failing to receive the spiritual water of God and instead they were focusing on recreating an event of centuries past. I say this is ironic, in that today we find the churches focusing, not on recreating events of the past as a commemoration of the importance of the event, but rather on progressive social ideologies that often conflict with the word of God itself. A so called social gospel that often drowns out the message of the Gospel of Christ.
Instead of uniting together as brothers and sisters in Christ seeking the water and spirit that Jesus spoke of, our churches are inculcating, not a gospel of the spirit that unites us in the name of Christ, but rather an ideology that divides us along social constructs and identities.
People who readily identify—when asked—as spiritual, seem to have an innate thirst for authentic spirituality, and apparently are not finding a cure for that thirst in these churches that are no longer churches of Christ, but which are now, for all pratical purposes, churches of progressive ideology.
But yet, if you really seek through the news media diligently, you will see signs that the Holy Spirit is descending again, in some ways, just as it did during that event we commemorate today.
The principalities of this world work to suppress the news of the spirit moving, but yet reports are emerging of young people filling the pews at revivals, mass baptisms, even the conversion of formerly reprobate celebrities who have now found Christ and are trying to turn around their life, to be as born again. We also are witnessing an increasing number of celebrities who are speaking out, unapologetically affirming their Christian beliefs and advocating for traditional family values and lifestyles. The Holy Spirit has touched the hearts of these individuals, compelling them to ignore their fears of persecution or their aversion to being called out as not being politically or socially correct.
As we observe the day that the Holy Spirit descended upon those in that room, let us be cognizant of the fact that there are many people in this world today, who are hungry for authentic Christianity. Those who thirst for authentic water and spirit that satiates the spiritual thirst. Those who can be characterized as being the least of these.
The “least of these” is a phrase that originates from Matthew 25:31–46, a passage often used in these modern times, to guilt Christians, causing them to embrace this false social gospel that is emptying the churches. Christians are not leaving because they do not want to help others, but due to the fact that they instinctively know that this passage, and others, are used out of context in an effort to guilt them into accepting what they know in their heart is wrong.
Matthew wrote this at a time, in which most likely the least of these, the needy, those imprisoned and persecuted, those that Christ called his bothers, most likely were his brothers and sisters, as it was a time in which Christians were discriminated against and tortured for their beliefs. Matthew was preaching to a congregation that knew all too well what the conditions Jesus spoke of were like.
While we are always to help the financially impoverished, a careful reading of Matthew 25:31–46 and its historical context demonstrates the need to give aid to the spiritually impoverished as well. When we look at how this passage was taught prior to the emergence of the social gospel a century past. We find a rebuke of the minsters who teach such false doctrines in these words of Jesus: “For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me ”
There are yet those who are spiritually hungry, spiritually thirsty, naked in spirit, they are treated as strangers by the modern church because they hold traditional values dear. There are those who speak out against all sorts of abominations and now find themselves in prison, sick and isolated. But yet the churches of social gospel turn a blind eye to them.
The rest of us must keep the spiritually hungry and thirsty in our prayers, reach out to them and help them find the spirit that is once again moving today as it moved two millennia ago.
Benediction:
O God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the only Savior, the Prince of Peace: Give us grace seriously to lay to heart the great dangers we are in by our unhappy divisions; take away all hatred and prejudice, and whatever else may hinder us from godly union and concord; that, as there is but one Body and one Spirit, one hope of our calling, one Lord, one Faith, one Baptism, one God and Father of us all, so we may be all of one heart and of one soul, united in one holy bond of truth and peace, of faith and charity, and may with one mind and one mouth glorify you; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

A Homily Prepared For Sunday May 19, 2024
The Collect
O God, who on this day taught the hearts of your faithful people by sending to them the light of your Holy Spirit: Grant us by the same Spirit to have a right judgment in all things, and evermore to rejoice in his holy comfort; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
The Gospel
John 7:37–39a
37 In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.
38He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.
39 (But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.)
Commentary on Today’s Gospel Selection;
In our Gospel selection for today, Pentecost Sunday, we look at an event which takes place on the last day of the Feast of Tabernacles, also known as Feast of Booths, and Sukkot. The event takes place in SeptembeOctober, and celebrates the fall harvest of grapes and olives. It lasts seven days with a holy convocation on the eighth day (Leviticus 23:36).
Jewish law specifies that, during the Feast of Tabernacles, Jewish people “You shall dwell in booths seven days. All who are native-born in Israel shall dwell in booths, that your generations may know that I made the children of Israel to dwell in booths, when I brought them out of the land of Egypt” (Leviticus 23:42-43). It also characterizes this feast as a fall harvest festival (Exodus 23:16; Deuteronomy 16:13).
It was during this feast or celebrations that:
“Jesus stood and cried, saying,If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.” (vs. 37-38) To understand the context of the situation in which Jesus stands and makes this pronouncement, you have to understand the daily rituals which took place during the festival.
During the first six days of the week long event, a priest would go to the Pool of Siloam and draw a pitcher full of water, then march in procession back to the temple with the people repeating from a verse found in Isaiah 12:3, “Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.”
Then upon returning to the temple the priest would pour out the water in an offering to God, commemorating the water that poured from the rock that sustained the ancient Israelites (Exodus 17:1-7; Numbers 20:1-13) as well as the rains that sustained Israel during the year just passed.
Everyday for six days, the people had been celebrating the water that had given their people physical sustenance; Jesus now tells them that he is capable of satisfying their spiritual thirst.
“as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.”(v. 38b) Just as we today think of the heart as being the center of emotions, (e.g. from the heart) in those times, they believed that the belly was the place where warm kindly benevolent feelings were generated. Jesus is saying that those who believe in him will receive these spiritual waters, waters of spiritual blessings, salvation.
When lost in the desert, the children of Israel thought the waters from God that materialized as flowing from a rock, were a blessing, a salvation in the physical sense for those who faced death from thirst (dehydration.) At the core of Jesus message to them that day, lies the fact that instead of worshiping an event that took place hundreds of years beforehand, a miracle that only provided physical sustenance for a brief time, they should be paying attention to his message which offers an eternal spiritual sustenance.
This verse brings to mind Jesus’ words to the Samaritan woman, “the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life” (John 4:13-14).
Jeremiah 2:13 also contains a reference to spiritual water: “For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.” Likewise we see in Jeremiah 17:13 “O LORD, the hope of Israel, all that forsake thee shall be ashamed, and they that depart from me shall be written in the earth, because they have forsaken the LORD, the fountain of living waters.” Perhaps Jesus recognized this disparity which could be seen in the religious rite in which the people celebrated his Father’s gift of water for physical thirst while remaining obvious to “the fountain of living waters” that God offered them.
In writing this Gospel, John the Evangelist, adds a note to the reader in verse 39; “But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.”
Here we find an explanation as to why these verses were selected for Pentecost Sunday, the day that the Holy spirit descended upon the Followers of Christ. Water and the Spirit are connected elsewhere in John — for example, when Jesus tells Nicodemus that “Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.” (3:5). In Jesus’ conversation with the Samaritan woman, living water is the symbol of the revelation of God in Christ which satisfies all spiritual thirst (4:10-15). “But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.” (John 4:14)
This living water that springs up into everlasting life, as promised by Jesus, is water that satisfies one’s spiritual thirst. A water that traditionally has been found through attendance and membership in the church, where one learns about the message and teachings of Christ, the essence of the water itself.
Unfortunately over the last decade, we have watched a great exodus from the church; in particular the old main-line churches. Those churches hemorrhaging membership most excessively, are those who in recent years have spent less time on—if not totally abandoning—the Gospel of Christ, while embracing a social gospel that may be based on good intentions, but none the less fails to address the people’s spiritual thirst.
Indeed, when questioned by pollsters attempting to gather information regarding this great exodus, a large number of people say that they identify as “spiritual but not religious.” Assuming that these people are indeed spiritual, then we can also assume that they are not finding in these churches, the water and spirit, with which to satisfy their thirst.
Ironically, we find the Hebrew people in chapter 7 attending a great celebration, one in which the observances commemorate important events in their history as a people chosen by God. Annual celebrations that for them, were certainly fun and wondrous to participate in, but yet—as Jesus noted by his crying out—they were failing to receive the spiritual water of God and instead they were focusing on recreating an event of centuries past. I say this is ironic, in that today we find the churches focusing, not on recreating events of the past as a commemoration of the importance of the event, but rather on progressive social ideologies that often conflict with the word of God itself. A so called social gospel that often drowns out the message of the Gospel of Christ.
Instead of uniting together as brothers and sisters in Christ seeking the water and spirit that Jesus spoke of, our churches are inculcating, not a gospel of the spirit that unites us in the name of Christ, but rather an ideology that divides us along social constructs and identities.
People who readily identify—when asked—as spiritual, seem to have an innate thirst for authentic spirituality, and apparently are not finding a cure for that thirst in these churches that are no longer churches of Christ, but which are now, for all pratical purposes, churches of progressive ideology.
But yet, if you really seek through the news media diligently, you will see signs that the Holy Spirit is descending again, in some ways, just as it did during that event we commemorate today.
The principalities of this world work to suppress the news of the spirit moving, but yet reports are emerging of young people filling the pews at revivals, mass baptisms, even the conversion of formerly reprobate celebrities who have now found Christ and are trying to turn around their life, to be as born again. We also are witnessing an increasing number of celebrities who are speaking out, unapologetically affirming their Christian beliefs and advocating for traditional family values and lifestyles. The Holy Spirit has touched the hearts of these individuals, compelling them to ignore their fears of persecution or their aversion to being called out as not being politically or socially correct.
As we observe the day that the Holy Spirit descended upon those in that room, let us be cognizant of the fact that there are many people in this world today, who are hungry for authentic Christianity. Those who thirst for authentic water and spirit that satiates the spiritual thirst. Those who can be characterized as being the least of these.
The “least of these” is a phrase that originates from Matthew 25:31–46, a passage often used in these modern times, to guilt Christians, causing them to embrace this false social gospel that is emptying the churches. Christians are not leaving because they do not want to help others, but due to the fact that they instinctively know that this passage, and others, are used out of context in an effort to guilt them into accepting what they know in their heart is wrong.
Matthew wrote this at a time, in which most likely the least of these, the needy, those imprisoned and persecuted, those that Christ called his bothers, most likely were his brothers and sisters, as it was a time in which Christians were discriminated against and tortured for their beliefs. Matthew was preaching to a congregation that knew all too well what the conditions Jesus spoke of were like.
While we are always to help the financially impoverished, a careful reading of Matthew 25:31–46 and its historical context demonstrates the need to give aid to the spiritually impoverished as well. When we look at how this passage was taught prior to the emergence of the social gospel a century past. We find a rebuke of the minsters who teach such false doctrines in these words of Jesus: “For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me ”
There are yet those who are spiritually hungry, spiritually thirsty, naked in spirit, they are treated as strangers by the modern church because they hold traditional values dear. There are those who speak out against all sorts of abominations and now find themselves in prison, sick and isolated. But yet the churches of social gospel turn a blind eye to them.
The rest of us must keep the spiritually hungry and thirsty in our prayers, reach out to them and help them find the spirit that is once again moving today as it moved two millennia ago.
Benediction:
O God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the only Savior, the Prince of Peace: Give us grace seriously to lay to heart the great dangers we are in by our unhappy divisions; take away all hatred and prejudice, and whatever else may hinder us from godly union and concord; that, as there is but one Body and one Spirit, one hope of our calling, one Lord, one Faith, one Baptism, one God and Father of us all, so we may be all of one heart and of one soul, united in one holy bond of truth and peace, of faith and charity, and may with one mind and one mouth glorify you; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

A Homily Prepared For Sunday May 19, 2024
The Collect
O God, who on this day taught the hearts of your faithful people by sending to them the light of your Holy Spirit: Grant us by the same Spirit to have a right judgment in all things, and evermore to rejoice in his holy comfort; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
The Gospel
John 7:37–39a
37 In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.
38He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.
39 (But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.)
Commentary on Today’s Gospel Selection;
In our Gospel selection for today, Pentecost Sunday, we look at an event which takes place on the last day of the Feast of Tabernacles, also known as Feast of Booths, and Sukkot. The event takes place in SeptembeOctober, and celebrates the fall harvest of grapes and olives. It lasts seven days with a holy convocation on the eighth day (Leviticus 23:36).
Jewish law specifies that, during the Feast of Tabernacles, Jewish people “You shall dwell in booths seven days. All who are native-born in Israel shall dwell in booths, that your generations may know that I made the children of Israel to dwell in booths, when I brought them out of the land of Egypt” (Leviticus 23:42-43). It also characterizes this feast as a fall harvest festival (Exodus 23:16; Deuteronomy 16:13).
It was during this feast or celebrations that:
“Jesus stood and cried, saying,If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.” (vs. 37-38) To understand the context of the situation in which Jesus stands and makes this pronouncement, you have to understand the daily rituals which took place during the festival.
During the first six days of the week long event, a priest would go to the Pool of Siloam and draw a pitcher full of water, then march in procession back to the temple with the people repeating from a verse found in Isaiah 12:3, “Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.”
Then upon returning to the temple the priest would pour out the water in an offering to God, commemorating the water that poured from the rock that sustained the ancient Israelites (Exodus 17:1-7; Numbers 20:1-13) as well as the rains that sustained Israel during the year just passed.
Everyday for six days, the people had been celebrating the water that had given their people physical sustenance; Jesus now tells them that he is capable of satisfying their spiritual thirst.
“as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.”(v. 38b) Just as we today think of the heart as being the center of emotions, (e.g. from the heart) in those times, they believed that the belly was the place where warm kindly benevolent feelings were generated. Jesus is saying that those who believe in him will receive these spiritual waters, waters of spiritual blessings, salvation.
When lost in the desert, the children of Israel thought the waters from God that materialized as flowing from a rock, were a blessing, a salvation in the physical sense for those who faced death from thirst (dehydration.) At the core of Jesus message to them that day, lies the fact that instead of worshiping an event that took place hundreds of years beforehand, a miracle that only provided physical sustenance for a brief time, they should be paying attention to his message which offers an eternal spiritual sustenance.
This verse brings to mind Jesus’ words to the Samaritan woman, “the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life” (John 4:13-14).
Jeremiah 2:13 also contains a reference to spiritual water: “For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.” Likewise we see in Jeremiah 17:13 “O LORD, the hope of Israel, all that forsake thee shall be ashamed, and they that depart from me shall be written in the earth, because they have forsaken the LORD, the fountain of living waters.” Perhaps Jesus recognized this disparity which could be seen in the religious rite in which the people celebrated his Father’s gift of water for physical thirst while remaining obvious to “the fountain of living waters” that God offered them.
In writing this Gospel, John the Evangelist, adds a note to the reader in verse 39; “But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.”
Here we find an explanation as to why these verses were selected for Pentecost Sunday, the day that the Holy spirit descended upon the Followers of Christ. Water and the Spirit are connected elsewhere in John — for example, when Jesus tells Nicodemus that “Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.” (3:5). In Jesus’ conversation with the Samaritan woman, living water is the symbol of the revelation of God in Christ which satisfies all spiritual thirst (4:10-15). “But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.” (John 4:14)
This living water that springs up into everlasting life, as promised by Jesus, is water that satisfies one’s spiritual thirst. A water that traditionally has been found through attendance and membership in the church, where one learns about the message and teachings of Christ, the essence of the water itself.
Unfortunately over the last decade, we have watched a great exodus from the church; in particular the old main-line churches. Those churches hemorrhaging membership most excessively, are those who in recent years have spent less time on—if not totally abandoning—the Gospel of Christ, while embracing a social gospel that may be based on good intentions, but none the less fails to address the people’s spiritual thirst.
Indeed, when questioned by pollsters attempting to gather information regarding this great exodus, a large number of people say that they identify as “spiritual but not religious.” Assuming that these people are indeed spiritual, then we can also assume that they are not finding in these churches, the water and spirit, with which to satisfy their thirst.
Ironically, we find the Hebrew people in chapter 7 attending a great celebration, one in which the observances commemorate important events in their history as a people chosen by God. Annual celebrations that for them, were certainly fun and wondrous to participate in, but yet—as Jesus noted by his crying out—they were failing to receive the spiritual water of God and instead they were focusing on recreating an event of centuries past. I say this is ironic, in that today we find the churches focusing, not on recreating events of the past as a commemoration of the importance of the event, but rather on progressive social ideologies that often conflict with the word of God itself. A so called social gospel that often drowns out the message of the Gospel of Christ.
Instead of uniting together as brothers and sisters in Christ seeking the water and spirit that Jesus spoke of, our churches are inculcating, not a gospel of the spirit that unites us in the name of Christ, but rather an ideology that divides us along social constructs and identities.
People who readily identify—when asked—as spiritual, seem to have an innate thirst for authentic spirituality, and apparently are not finding a cure for that thirst in these churches that are no longer churches of Christ, but which are now, for all pratical purposes, churches of progressive ideology.
But yet, if you really seek through the news media diligently, you will see signs that the Holy Spirit is descending again, in some ways, just as it did during that event we commemorate today.
The principalities of this world work to suppress the news of the spirit moving, but yet reports are emerging of young people filling the pews at revivals, mass baptisms, even the conversion of formerly reprobate celebrities who have now found Christ and are trying to turn around their life, to be as born again. We also are witnessing an increasing number of celebrities who are speaking out, unapologetically affirming their Christian beliefs and advocating for traditional family values and lifestyles. The Holy Spirit has touched the hearts of these individuals, compelling them to ignore their fears of persecution or their aversion to being called out as not being politically or socially correct.
As we observe the day that the Holy Spirit descended upon those in that room, let us be cognizant of the fact that there are many people in this world today, who are hungry for authentic Christianity. Those who thirst for authentic water and spirit that satiates the spiritual thirst. Those who can be characterized as being the least of these.
The “least of these” is a phrase that originates from Matthew 25:31–46, a passage often used in these modern times, to guilt Christians, causing them to embrace this false social gospel that is emptying the churches. Christians are not leaving because they do not want to help others, but due to the fact that they instinctively know that this passage, and others, are used out of context in an effort to guilt them into accepting what they know in their heart is wrong.
Matthew wrote this at a time, in which most likely the least of these, the needy, those imprisoned and persecuted, those that Christ called his bothers, most likely were his brothers and sisters, as it was a time in which Christians were discriminated against and tortured for their beliefs. Matthew was preaching to a congregation that knew all too well what the conditions Jesus spoke of were like.
While we are always to help the financially impoverished, a careful reading of Matthew 25:31–46 and its historical context demonstrates the need to give aid to the spiritually impoverished as well. When we look at how this passage was taught prior to the emergence of the social gospel a century past. We find a rebuke of the minsters who teach such false doctrines in these words of Jesus: “For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me ”
There are yet those who are spiritually hungry, spiritually thirsty, naked in spirit, they are treated as strangers by the modern church because they hold traditional values dear. There are those who speak out against all sorts of abominations and now find themselves in prison, sick and isolated. But yet the churches of social gospel turn a blind eye to them.
The rest of us must keep the spiritually hungry and thirsty in our prayers, reach out to them and help them find the spirit that is once again moving today as it moved two millennia ago.
Benediction:
O God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the only Savior, the Prince of Peace: Give us grace seriously to lay to heart the great dangers we are in by our unhappy divisions; take away all hatred and prejudice, and whatever else may hinder us from godly union and concord; that, as there is but one Body and one Spirit, one hope of our calling, one Lord, one Faith, one Baptism, one God and Father of us all, so we may be all of one heart and of one soul, united in one holy bond of truth and peace, of faith and charity, and may with one mind and one mouth glorify you; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

A Homily Prepared For Sunday May 19, 2024
The Collect
O God, who on this day taught the hearts of your faithful people by sending to them the light of your Holy Spirit: Grant us by the same Spirit to have a right judgment in all things, and evermore to rejoice in his holy comfort; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
The Gospel
John 7:37–39a
37 In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.
38He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.
39 (But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.)
Commentary on Today’s Gospel Selection;
In our Gospel selection for today, Pentecost Sunday, we look at an event which takes place on the last day of the Feast of Tabernacles, also known as Feast of Booths, and Sukkot. The event takes place in SeptembeOctober, and celebrates the fall harvest of grapes and olives. It lasts seven days with a holy convocation on the eighth day (Leviticus 23:36).
Jewish law specifies that, during the Feast of Tabernacles, Jewish people “You shall dwell in booths seven days. All who are native-born in Israel shall dwell in booths, that your generations may know that I made the children of Israel to dwell in booths, when I brought them out of the land of Egypt” (Leviticus 23:42-43). It also characterizes this feast as a fall harvest festival (Exodus 23:16; Deuteronomy 16:13).
It was during this feast or celebrations that:
“Jesus stood and cried, saying,If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.” (vs. 37-38) To understand the context of the situation in which Jesus stands and makes this pronouncement, you have to understand the daily rituals which took place during the festival.
During the first six days of the week long event, a priest would go to the Pool of Siloam and draw a pitcher full of water, then march in procession back to the temple with the people repeating from a verse found in Isaiah 12:3, “Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.”
Then upon returning to the temple the priest would pour out the water in an offering to God, commemorating the water that poured from the rock that sustained the ancient Israelites (Exodus 17:1-7; Numbers 20:1-13) as well as the rains that sustained Israel during the year just passed.
Everyday for six days, the people had been celebrating the water that had given their people physical sustenance; Jesus now tells them that he is capable of satisfying their spiritual thirst.
“as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.”(v. 38b) Just as we today think of the heart as being the center of emotions, (e.g. from the heart) in those times, they believed that the belly was the place where warm kindly benevolent feelings were generated. Jesus is saying that those who believe in him will receive these spiritual waters, waters of spiritual blessings, salvation.
When lost in the desert, the children of Israel thought the waters from God that materialized as flowing from a rock, were a blessing, a salvation in the physical sense for those who faced death from thirst (dehydration.) At the core of Jesus message to them that day, lies the fact that instead of worshiping an event that took place hundreds of years beforehand, a miracle that only provided physical sustenance for a brief time, they should be paying attention to his message which offers an eternal spiritual sustenance.
This verse brings to mind Jesus’ words to the Samaritan woman, “the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life” (John 4:13-14).
Jeremiah 2:13 also contains a reference to spiritual water: “For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.” Likewise we see in Jeremiah 17:13 “O LORD, the hope of Israel, all that forsake thee shall be ashamed, and they that depart from me shall be written in the earth, because they have forsaken the LORD, the fountain of living waters.” Perhaps Jesus recognized this disparity which could be seen in the religious rite in which the people celebrated his Father’s gift of water for physical thirst while remaining obvious to “the fountain of living waters” that God offered them.
In writing this Gospel, John the Evangelist, adds a note to the reader in verse 39; “But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.”
Here we find an explanation as to why these verses were selected for Pentecost Sunday, the day that the Holy spirit descended upon the Followers of Christ. Water and the Spirit are connected elsewhere in John — for example, when Jesus tells Nicodemus that “Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.” (3:5). In Jesus’ conversation with the Samaritan woman, living water is the symbol of the revelation of God in Christ which satisfies all spiritual thirst (4:10-15). “But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.” (John 4:14)
This living water that springs up into everlasting life, as promised by Jesus, is water that satisfies one’s spiritual thirst. A water that traditionally has been found through attendance and membership in the church, where one learns about the message and teachings of Christ, the essence of the water itself.
Unfortunately over the last decade, we have watched a great exodus from the church; in particular the old main-line churches. Those churches hemorrhaging membership most excessively, are those who in recent years have spent less time on—if not totally abandoning—the Gospel of Christ, while embracing a social gospel that may be based on good intentions, but none the less fails to address the people’s spiritual thirst.
Indeed, when questioned by pollsters attempting to gather information regarding this great exodus, a large number of people say that they identify as “spiritual but not religious.” Assuming that these people are indeed spiritual, then we can also assume that they are not finding in these churches, the water and spirit, with which to satisfy their thirst.
Ironically, we find the Hebrew people in chapter 7 attending a great celebration, one in which the observances commemorate important events in their history as a people chosen by God. Annual celebrations that for them, were certainly fun and wondrous to participate in, but yet—as Jesus noted by his crying out—they were failing to receive the spiritual water of God and instead they were focusing on recreating an event of centuries past. I say this is ironic, in that today we find the churches focusing, not on recreating events of the past as a commemoration of the importance of the event, but rather on progressive social ideologies that often conflict with the word of God itself. A so called social gospel that often drowns out the message of the Gospel of Christ.
Instead of uniting together as brothers and sisters in Christ seeking the water and spirit that Jesus spoke of, our churches are inculcating, not a gospel of the spirit that unites us in the name of Christ, but rather an ideology that divides us along social constructs and identities.
People who readily identify—when asked—as spiritual, seem to have an innate thirst for authentic spirituality, and apparently are not finding a cure for that thirst in these churches that are no longer churches of Christ, but which are now, for all pratical purposes, churches of progressive ideology.
But yet, if you really seek through the news media diligently, you will see signs that the Holy Spirit is descending again, in some ways, just as it did during that event we commemorate today.
The principalities of this world work to suppress the news of the spirit moving, but yet reports are emerging of young people filling the pews at revivals, mass baptisms, even the conversion of formerly reprobate celebrities who have now found Christ and are trying to turn around their life, to be as born again. We also are witnessing an increasing number of celebrities who are speaking out, unapologetically affirming their Christian beliefs and advocating for traditional family values and lifestyles. The Holy Spirit has touched the hearts of these individuals, compelling them to ignore their fears of persecution or their aversion to being called out as not being politically or socially correct.
As we observe the day that the Holy Spirit descended upon those in that room, let us be cognizant of the fact that there are many people in this world today, who are hungry for authentic Christianity. Those who thirst for authentic water and spirit that satiates the spiritual thirst. Those who can be characterized as being the least of these.
The “least of these” is a phrase that originates from Matthew 25:31–46, a passage often used in these modern times, to guilt Christians, causing them to embrace this false social gospel that is emptying the churches. Christians are not leaving because they do not want to help others, but due to the fact that they instinctively know that this passage, and others, are used out of context in an effort to guilt them into accepting what they know in their heart is wrong.
Matthew wrote this at a time, in which most likely the least of these, the needy, those imprisoned and persecuted, those that Christ called his bothers, most likely were his brothers and sisters, as it was a time in which Christians were discriminated against and tortured for their beliefs. Matthew was preaching to a congregation that knew all too well what the conditions Jesus spoke of were like.
While we are always to help the financially impoverished, a careful reading of Matthew 25:31–46 and its historical context demonstrates the need to give aid to the spiritually impoverished as well. When we look at how this passage was taught prior to the emergence of the social gospel a century past. We find a rebuke of the minsters who teach such false doctrines in these words of Jesus: “For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me ”
There are yet those who are spiritually hungry, spiritually thirsty, naked in spirit, they are treated as strangers by the modern church because they hold traditional values dear. There are those who speak out against all sorts of abominations and now find themselves in prison, sick and isolated. But yet the churches of social gospel turn a blind eye to them.
The rest of us must keep the spiritually hungry and thirsty in our prayers, reach out to them and help them find the spirit that is once again moving today as it moved two millennia ago.
Benediction:
O God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the only Savior, the Prince of Peace: Give us grace seriously to lay to heart the great dangers we are in by our unhappy divisions; take away all hatred and prejudice, and whatever else may hinder us from godly union and concord; that, as there is but one Body and one Spirit, one hope of our calling, one Lord, one Faith, one Baptism, one God and Father of us all, so we may be all of one heart and of one soul, united in one holy bond of truth and peace, of faith and charity, and may with one mind and one mouth glorify you; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

A Homily Prepared For Sunday May 19, 2024
The Collect
O God, who on this day taught the hearts of your faithful people by sending to them the light of your Holy Spirit: Grant us by the same Spirit to have a right judgment in all things, and evermore to rejoice in his holy comfort; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
The Gospel
John 7:37–39a
37 In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.
38He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.
39 (But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.)
Commentary on Today’s Gospel Selection;
In our Gospel selection for today, Pentecost Sunday, we look at an event which takes place on the last day of the Feast of Tabernacles, also known as Feast of Booths, and Sukkot. The event takes place in SeptembeOctober, and celebrates the fall harvest of grapes and olives. It lasts seven days with a holy convocation on the eighth day (Leviticus 23:36).
Jewish law specifies that, during the Feast of Tabernacles, Jewish people “You shall dwell in booths seven days. All who are native-born in Israel shall dwell in booths, that your generations may know that I made the children of Israel to dwell in booths, when I brought them out of the land of Egypt” (Leviticus 23:42-43). It also characterizes this feast as a fall harvest festival (Exodus 23:16; Deuteronomy 16:13).
It was during this feast or celebrations that:
“Jesus stood and cried, saying,If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.” (vs. 37-38) To understand the context of the situation in which Jesus stands and makes this pronouncement, you have to understand the daily rituals which took place during the festival.
During the first six days of the week long event, a priest would go to the Pool of Siloam and draw a pitcher full of water, then march in procession back to the temple with the people repeating from a verse found in Isaiah 12:3, “Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.”
Then upon returning to the temple the priest would pour out the water in an offering to God, commemorating the water that poured from the rock that sustained the ancient Israelites (Exodus 17:1-7; Numbers 20:1-13) as well as the rains that sustained Israel during the year just passed.
Everyday for six days, the people had been celebrating the water that had given their people physical sustenance; Jesus now tells them that he is capable of satisfying their spiritual thirst.
“as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.”(v. 38b) Just as we today think of the heart as being the center of emotions, (e.g. from the heart) in those times, they believed that the belly was the place where warm kindly benevolent feelings were generated. Jesus is saying that those who believe in him will receive these spiritual waters, waters of spiritual blessings, salvation.
When lost in the desert, the children of Israel thought the waters from God that materialized as flowing from a rock, were a blessing, a salvation in the physical sense for those who faced death from thirst (dehydration.) At the core of Jesus message to them that day, lies the fact that instead of worshiping an event that took place hundreds of years beforehand, a miracle that only provided physical sustenance for a brief time, they should be paying attention to his message which offers an eternal spiritual sustenance.
This verse brings to mind Jesus’ words to the Samaritan woman, “the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life” (John 4:13-14).
Jeremiah 2:13 also contains a reference to spiritual water: “For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.” Likewise we see in Jeremiah 17:13 “O LORD, the hope of Israel, all that forsake thee shall be ashamed, and they that depart from me shall be written in the earth, because they have forsaken the LORD, the fountain of living waters.” Perhaps Jesus recognized this disparity which could be seen in the religious rite in which the people celebrated his Father’s gift of water for physical thirst while remaining obvious to “the fountain of living waters” that God offered them.
In writing this Gospel, John the Evangelist, adds a note to the reader in verse 39; “But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.”
Here we find an explanation as to why these verses were selected for Pentecost Sunday, the day that the Holy spirit descended upon the Followers of Christ. Water and the Spirit are connected elsewhere in John — for example, when Jesus tells Nicodemus that “Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.” (3:5). In Jesus’ conversation with the Samaritan woman, living water is the symbol of the revelation of God in Christ which satisfies all spiritual thirst (4:10-15). “But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.” (John 4:14)
This living water that springs up into everlasting life, as promised by Jesus, is water that satisfies one’s spiritual thirst. A water that traditionally has been found through attendance and membership in the church, where one learns about the message and teachings of Christ, the essence of the water itself.
Unfortunately over the last decade, we have watched a great exodus from the church; in particular the old main-line churches. Those churches hemorrhaging membership most excessively, are those who in recent years have spent less time on—if not totally abandoning—the Gospel of Christ, while embracing a social gospel that may be based on good intentions, but none the less fails to address the people’s spiritual thirst.
Indeed, when questioned by pollsters attempting to gather information regarding this great exodus, a large number of people say that they identify as “spiritual but not religious.” Assuming that these people are indeed spiritual, then we can also assume that they are not finding in these churches, the water and spirit, with which to satisfy their thirst.
Ironically, we find the Hebrew people in chapter 7 attending a great celebration, one in which the observances commemorate important events in their history as a people chosen by God. Annual celebrations that for them, were certainly fun and wondrous to participate in, but yet—as Jesus noted by his crying out—they were failing to receive the spiritual water of God and instead they were focusing on recreating an event of centuries past. I say this is ironic, in that today we find the churches focusing, not on recreating events of the past as a commemoration of the importance of the event, but rather on progressive social ideologies that often conflict with the word of God itself. A so called social gospel that often drowns out the message of the Gospel of Christ.
Instead of uniting together as brothers and sisters in Christ seeking the water and spirit that Jesus spoke of, our churches are inculcating, not a gospel of the spirit that unites us in the name of Christ, but rather an ideology that divides us along social constructs and identities.
People who readily identify—when asked—as spiritual, seem to have an innate thirst for authentic spirituality, and apparently are not finding a cure for that thirst in these churches that are no longer churches of Christ, but which are now, for all pratical purposes, churches of progressive ideology.
But yet, if you really seek through the news media diligently, you will see signs that the Holy Spirit is descending again, in some ways, just as it did during that event we commemorate today.
The principalities of this world work to suppress the news of the spirit moving, but yet reports are emerging of young people filling the pews at revivals, mass baptisms, even the conversion of formerly reprobate celebrities who have now found Christ and are trying to turn around their life, to be as born again. We also are witnessing an increasing number of celebrities who are speaking out, unapologetically affirming their Christian beliefs and advocating for traditional family values and lifestyles. The Holy Spirit has touched the hearts of these individuals, compelling them to ignore their fears of persecution or their aversion to being called out as not being politically or socially correct.
As we observe the day that the Holy Spirit descended upon those in that room, let us be cognizant of the fact that there are many people in this world today, who are hungry for authentic Christianity. Those who thirst for authentic water and spirit that satiates the spiritual thirst. Those who can be characterized as being the least of these.
The “least of these” is a phrase that originates from Matthew 25:31–46, a passage often used in these modern times, to guilt Christians, causing them to embrace this false social gospel that is emptying the churches. Christians are not leaving because they do not want to help others, but due to the fact that they instinctively know that this passage, and others, are used out of context in an effort to guilt them into accepting what they know in their heart is wrong.
Matthew wrote this at a time, in which most likely the least of these, the needy, those imprisoned and persecuted, those that Christ called his bothers, most likely were his brothers and sisters, as it was a time in which Christians were discriminated against and tortured for their beliefs. Matthew was preaching to a congregation that knew all too well what the conditions Jesus spoke of were like.
While we are always to help the financially impoverished, a careful reading of Matthew 25:31–46 and its historical context demonstrates the need to give aid to the spiritually impoverished as well. When we look at how this passage was taught prior to the emergence of the social gospel a century past. We find a rebuke of the minsters who teach such false doctrines in these words of Jesus: “For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me ”
There are yet those who are spiritually hungry, spiritually thirsty, naked in spirit, they are treated as strangers by the modern church because they hold traditional values dear. There are those who speak out against all sorts of abominations and now find themselves in prison, sick and isolated. But yet the churches of social gospel turn a blind eye to them.
The rest of us must keep the spiritually hungry and thirsty in our prayers, reach out to them and help them find the spirit that is once again moving today as it moved two millennia ago.
Benediction:
O God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the only Savior, the Prince of Peace: Give us grace seriously to lay to heart the great dangers we are in by our unhappy divisions; take away all hatred and prejudice, and whatever else may hinder us from godly union and concord; that, as there is but one Body and one Spirit, one hope of our calling, one Lord, one Faith, one Baptism, one God and Father of us all, so we may be all of one heart and of one soul, united in one holy bond of truth and peace, of faith and charity, and may with one mind and one mouth glorify you; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

At the beginning of March of this, year. My family put up for adoption puppies that were born on our land. Raising eight puppies from Birth till 3 months old was a nightmare end of itself. But we still loved them. The whole three months my family and I were discussing which puppy we wanted to keep. We couldn't decide between 2 dogs. And so my parents were very adamant.On keeping both. I try to inform my parents multiple times that is not a good idea to keep siblings due to A thing called littermate syndrome that happens between puppies that are close in age.They don't have to be siblings, it’s where both dogs either become To reliance on the other dog's presents or they grow to hate each other. But they kept brushing off my Concerns and told me that we can handle it. The puppies are now 5 months old and they might as well just be wild dogs. They have .No recall skills. They barely know the word sit and one of them barks Continuously. 2 weeks in from officially adopting them. I told my parents, I can't take care of them. I love animals, but it was to the point where I wanted to harm them. ( I never did). My puppies blues were at an all time low and tell them I can't do it anymore. They overtake the responsibilities raising both dogs by themselves. So for the past 2 months I've just been trapped in my room feeling like a prisoner in my own home. I finally was able to find a full-time job. But the thing is I live in in a small town that doesn't have any apartments so I'm honestly trapped here. I applied to jobs in the nearest city. But Sadly the only job that was willing to hire me was in the small town next to my small town that also don't have any apartments. I hear the dog bark continuously every single day From the living room while i'm trapped in my room and I can hear my parents frustration and trying to calm her down. I feel so sad. Knowing that we denied these dogs a bright future with a family That can provide a healthy life for them. Even if we just kept one dog. I would have loved that dog would have taught them so many tricks worked with them to be socialized. But no, they insisted on both dogs. And now the litter mate syndrome has set in right now. they get anxiety whenever they are separated from each other. In the future. Who knows? They might wanna go after each other's throat. We will never know.. Every time I hear My parents frustration while taking care of 2 puppies. The only phrase that goes in my mind is I told you so, but you didn't listen and I hate myself for feeling that way.