The church's earliest visitors on Sunday are a group of kind-hearted do-gooders. And Lucas is there too.
The group, including Lucas, is diligently doing last-minute preparations, carefully and skillfully tending to the food they expertly prepared yesterday. Every single person involved in the work does their part with impressive ease and earned confidence. Lucas's careful contributions, both his direct, visible work, and the boons conferred by his presence allow them to do their work with newfound ease, confidence, and remarkable luck. Lucas occasionally makes minor missteps, but those are due more to the drawbacks he is enduring than anything he actually does. And every time he makes a mistake it's so minor a few deft movements are enough for him to overcome them. All the while he is texting Hannah and is visibly excited to volunteer, even though his motives are still quite selfish.
Lucas wisely does not take a leadership role here. The diligent figure follows the lead of his more experienced peers, and his endless, untiring contributions are enough to allow the group to be ready in an hour, completing work that normally takes them two or three thanks to the various perks Lucas grants them, as well as his actual, material contributions. When the group is ready, Lucas suggests they all swap stories about what led them to volunteer here.
The five volunteers and the pastor encourage the newcomer to go first, and he deftly weaves a tale that incorporates bits and pieces of the backstory he constructed for himself at his job. He explains that he grew up as the only child of a family in a small town and that he has been volunteering in minor capacities his whole life. He tells his new friends the same fanciful lies he told his coworkers and is a bit shocked when he gets the "Storytelling" skill. After that, his companions share their own stories with him. The pastor goes first, explaining that when he took over the church not one charitable act was occurring here and in only a few short years the pastor has massively changed that. The others all share various stories about how they've needed food before, or known people who needed a meal, and so they wanted to make sure that if someone needed a meal they could get it. The stories stir Lucas's heart, and he feels a pang of sincere admiration for his new friends. That said the pragmatic figure is not someone who is so kind-hearted that he'd lose sight of his larger objectives here.
While his companions share their stories he activates "Rogue", but focuses the skill on his hands. This decision almost completely cloaks his hands, rendering them invisible just long enough for Lucas to pour healing magic into the soup. He pours all of his magical energy into the stuff, exhausting himself but that is a minor inconvenience given one of his handy toys and especially when he receives a notification alerting him that he has gained an "Overcharge" skill; the ability to empower something by putting more into it.
As soon as everyone finishes their stories there is just enough time for the group of volunteers to go and get ready for the first of the arrivals at the kitchen. When Lucas is out of view of everyone he reaches into his inventory and pulls out his nifty arcane potion and downs it. The instant that the golden liquid touches his lips his power begins to flow back into him, suffusing his very soul. Minutes later the lad is welcoming guests and visitors to the church. People excitedly greet him, stunned in two different ways by his appearance.
Firstly there is the fact that Lucas is stunning, aesthetically. No matter one's preferences, no one can honestly deny his wholesome movie star looks, and no one tries to. But here, in the soup kitchen, that's the less important part of his appeal. The more important aspect of his appearance is his newness. Many of the people who appear early are people who come to the church regularly, and they recognize everyone there but him. This gives the young volunteer a chance to make several new admirers, and he navigates these social interactions with aplomb. The figure, at this point, doesn't even rely on his perks, having grown accustomed to his new life and reality.
As the figure encourages the visitors to come and grab food he is extremely pleased when he feels time freeze the first time someone tastes the food he made. This is due to the fact that he is making progress towards his quest to become a "White Mage" the formal name given to the "Healer" class he received a quest to become earlier this week, The quest asks him to heal 100 people, and this marks one of the first times he has made progress towards it. The figure smiles internally as he deactivates the notification that froze time and continues the important work he's been assigned; welcoming guests and working to log in the information they're willing to give about themselves. To achieve this task the eager go-getter has a clipboard and is stationed near the entrance to the part of the church that houses the kitchen where the chefs made the food. Every time someone new eats the food he spelled to be restorative the figure has to deal with paused time, but only the first time someone lifts some of the ensorcelled food to their lips, and each time his excitement at the prospect of obtaining a new class grows more intense.
For the first hour only long-term, regular members of the church's congregation, and their hungry friends, come to the kitchen. The pastor is one of the figures serving them food, while Lucas continues the important work he was asked to do. During this time 22 people make their way through the kitchen, greeting Lucas with excited smiles and happily volunteering the same information they've volunteered before to other individuals tasked with doing Lucas's current work. The young jumper listens to distant conversations even as he writes down the information of various individuals. He smiles internally whenever he overhears someone saying that the food tastes different somehow, better than it has before. Such individuals also sometimes notice how immediately the pain they're in lessens, their old aches and pains fading and in some cases disappearing altogether. They don't know about the magic that is repairing their bodies, the sacred energies that course into them with every faint bite or spoonful of food they eat. Also during this time the chef gains more experience
Lucas doesn't consciously know this but his decision to pour all of his magic into the food has supercharged it. If not for his decision to infuse the food with healing magic again time, coupled with the diffuse nature of the soup would have weakened the healing properties of the magic, but Lucas's choice to suffuse the food with as much magic as he could in short order before the hungry congregants and community members began to arrive has sanctified the food and empowered it's naturally restorative and fortifying properties almost making it something like a potion of sorts.
More people begin to arrive during the second hour of the meal serving period. Some of these people are brand new, and of them a handful gawk at Lucas. These individuals, include homeless youth. teen parents, and college students can't resist the urge to take in the cool glass of water on a hot day that is the charming volunteer. His ability to feign kindness and his almost but not quite eerie sense of their emotional states is enough to allow them to develop crushes, platonic or otherwise, on the figure. And in the space of the hour 40 such individuals come through and eat more of Lucas's cooking, enough to allow him to level up his chef class one more time. He eagerly takes a new class ability, one that allows him to grant food he cooks very minor buffs, though he finds that it's not retroactive.
During this time the pastor gives a very brief address to the crowd of gathered individuals, and introduces Lucas to everyone though Lucas has already been social enough and diligent enough to do that himself. Lucas eagerly thanks everyone for joining them today, and during this time he experiences a very subtle glitch where he says a word but no one notices it. The young adventurer simply ignores the glitch, but not before noting that it's the first one he's experienced in a public situation.
During the last forty five minutes of the meal more people come through, and this group is the oddest and the largest. These folks are the irregulars; people who occasionally need the meals the kitchen provides but who don't love prospect of coming to the kitchen. This group numbers a total 45 of individuals, and by the time they eat the effects of the food are less miraculous, but still solidly strong. At the same time when the next to last person to eat grabs a spoonful of soup and lifts it to her lips she is unknowingly responsible for time freezing and Lucas gaining a new class, The excited hero immediately changes classes and gains a boost to his intelligence and charisma as a result of it as well as just enough experience to boost the power of "Support", making this the first time that a perk of his has been directly strengthened to a quantifiable extent.
"Support" is the most subtle of Lucas's perks other than "The Devil's Own Luck". This perk makes him a more effective leader and teammate, and boosts the efforts of his c;lose-by allies by the equivalent of a "+2", until just now, modifier in TTRPG terms and weakens the efforts of his c;lose-by enemies by "-2", or now "-3". In layman's terms all of the efforts of his allies by a tiny but noticeable margin and weakens the efforts of his enemies by an equal amount. The perk also allows for buffs or debuffs to affect all allies or enemies in close proximity to each other, but Lucas has not had many chances to buff allies or fight enemies. One effect this perk has had is that it allows his friends to cook food that is more delicious, more filling, and healthier than their past efforts. Another effect of it is that it has helped those who eat said food to ingest it more easily and thus allows them to eat it without fears of stomach pains. New spells also appear in the hero's mental grimoire, ones that offer minor buffs or debuffs to friends and enemies, targeting their attributes, but none that consider Lucas a viable target.
The hero delights in his new class and is excited to have the chance to grow as a healer and support provider but the day isn't done. When the last of the crowd leaves Lucas and the rest of his friends stay behind to clean up. Lucas is eager to put his newly enhanced perk to the test, and during these efforts Lucas gains the "Cleaner" class, a class whose initial benefits to him include a boost to his senses and to his skill with anything intended to be used to clean something. During the cleaning, Lucas does not quite gain enough experience to level up, but he knows that he will in time.
Eventually Lucas bids his new friends farewell and makes his way to the gym. He works out somewhat intensely during this time, gaining a series of new skills in the form of swimming and boxing, thanks to his time engaging in a decently stimulating jaunt around the lap pool, followed by his participation in a class that revolves around self-defense. Thanks to "Master of All" and his decision to swap classes to "Fighter" he manages to level up both his "Mage" and his "Fighter" class, opting to give himself a boost to his endurance as a class skill for "Fighter", and a boost to the rate at which he regenerates arcane energy as his class skill for "Mage". It is during this time that Lucas figures out that for his classes to level up he needs to gain class-based experience, but this is the first time that he has seen that he can level a class up without having the class equipped, there just seems to be some relative debuff to the experience gained by the classes he doesn't have equipped. This insight boosts his intelligence, the realization itself serving as a sort of training of the attribute.
By the time Lucas returns to his apartment he is immensely satisfied with the day he has had. The moon is visible in the night's sky when he steps into his apartment he is ready to spend the rest of the day honing his skills and gaining valuable experience. He immediately starts this off by using some of his magic to mess with some of his possessions, positioning and repositioning them as he pleases with telekinesis. For the first time the figure shuts his eyes and practices his telekinesis by feeling alone, an exercise which results in the acquisition of a strange new skill: Extrasensory Perception, or ESP. The figure excitedly practices this skill, even as he levels up his "Spatial Magic" skill and gains an expensive new spell: "Minor Teleport". This particular spell lets him teleport objects he can see and hit with a small magical ray, causing light, small objects he hits to appear in his hand. The mage's skills with this are enough to allow him to hit a kitchen knife with it and teleport it to him without any issues. Lucas's mind fills with possibilities as he takes in the wicked potential of this spell. Still, the spell costs enough that he can only cast it once or twice without waiting for his pool of arcane energy to recover which limits it's usefulness somewhat but that's only a short term problem.
Monday rolls around and when it does Lucas is delighted to find that he is familiar enough with his surroundings that he settles into a routine. The jumper almost immediately throws himself into his work the minute he arrives at the office and he quickly grinds the day away. The only notable event is his realization that Amy is developing a crush on him, something he notices during lunch when he is eating with her and their small cadre of colleagues, when she eagerly asks him about volunteering. On Monday afternoon the lad goes to the gym and works out, taking another dancing class and leveling up the class partway through the workout. He gains a class skill which allows him to more easily persuade anyone who sees him perform a few dances, which he realizes probably won't be very useful in this jump but might mean something later on in his "Chain" as his employer called it several days ago.
The figure spends part of the night leveling his rogue class and gaining skills associated with it thanks in part to his "Rogue" perk and his new spells. He sticks to public places, and stays out just long enough for some shopping outlets and malls to close. He limits his targets to small objects like keys and wallets with his magic, and occasionally targets people with debuffs. He also levels "Observe" enough that he can learn the moods of living things just by using the skill, When his rogue class levels up he snags a new skill which boosts the effectiveness of his actions when he is unseen by the people he is targeting. He also snags a title: "Arcane Sneak", which boosts his magical regeneration when he is unnoticed by people or in the immediate aftermath of him using magic to take something that belongs to someone else.
The next month and a half passes in a blur, and Lucas develops a decently strict schedule he sticks to. On Mondays he trains a specific class, not necessarily rogue but definitely something. On Tuesdays he works out, including taking Zumba, a boxing class, and swimming. On Wednesdays he does meal prep and stays at home honing minor stuff. On Thursday he does some sort of volunteering, and on Fridays he actually relaxes and does something like writing or website design. The weekends are filled with volunteering and city exploration.
During this time his classes, other than chef, dancer, and mage, are slow to level up. He actively practices magic, he is a regular chef, and he turns a passive admiration he once had for dancers into something he is surprisingly passionate about. He also begins to volunteer at the hospital he visited, spending a few hours every Saturday in a small room in the back of the hospital looking through paperwork and doing stuff he didn't anticipate a hospital volunteer doing. Still, he quickly racks up trust and admiration from the few hospital staff members who know of him, thanks to his ability to just not complain, coupled with his stunning effectiveness at what he does.
As he begins to approach the two month mark he is a level 10 chef, level 12 dancer, and a level 6 mage, and a level 3 fighter, rogue, and white mage, as well as a level 4 cleaner. It turns out that each class levels a bit differently, which has inadvertently skewed his leveling but he's become an advanced enough chef that his food can be actively beneficial or detrimental and that there is now a 5% reduction in how long it takes him to cook something. He can also now gain modifiers to his interactions with people who've eaten several dishes he's made, provided they enjoyed them. His dancing is similarly useful, and he is a much better mage now than he once was. The figure can also cast spells and use an ability that prevents something from getting dirty, or magically cleanse objects. Despite all of this he remains a level 1 human, having not gained any experience that would level him as a member of his species; it seems that for him to gain such experience he needs to engage in combat and even when he's sparred with people he doesn't fight them to unconsciousness.
He leaves his apartment on the last Monday in October with a smile on his face, ready to begin a new work week.

I've been in love with this woman(X) since I was 14 or 15. I'm 26 now. Nearly 10 or 11 years later. We've been close friends on and off througout these years. On and off because I keep trying to cut ties(which I fail to keep cut because I just end up talking to her again). I did it once in high school when she got a boyfriend and then started talking to her again when they broke up, but I never had the balls to ask her out the rest of high school, and finally when it ended I tried cutting ties again before I left for uni(thought it'd be for good this time because we were going to different states, more than 10 hours away from each other). Things were going okay in uni, in my first year, and I found someone else(Y) that I liked, she had a boyfriend(long distance) so I wasn't hitting on her but l'm pretty sure she knew I liked her. We got really close in the first few months of uni, one day she asks me if i like her and I said yes, after which we stopped talking which really fucking hurt because I thought we were close friends. Right after that happened I started texting X again and it was like we never stopped talking. I got caught for weed at my dorm one night and while I was flipping out about being kicked out of the dorm and my parents finding out, she calls me up and one of the worst nights of my life turned out to be the best, and I guess that's when I realized I'm might still be in love with her. And I confirmed I was in love with her when one of our mutual friends told me that she told him that she liked me at some point in high school. But I didn't wanna admit it or tell her because I saw no point since we were 10 hours apart which just made me feel like absolute shit. Prior to college, till shit went south with Y, I'd never smoked(cigs or weed) or drank and was completely against it. One night I decided to get wasted(it was my first time getting drunk, and the last tbh for another 2 years) and since I didnt know any better I had 8 or 9 shots of whiskey back to back after which I got pretty fucked up and out of control and I ended up texting her admitting how I felt in I think a fucking 3 page essay to which I got no response which made me feel like absolute dogshit and I ended up crying the entire night at my friend's place. Next day I was still feeling like shit and I was at another friend's place smoking up and still crying about it to him and he just picks up my phone and calls her up and asks her to talk to me and she tells me she doesn't feel the same which broke me. After that conversation I just decided to just say fuck it, and fuck up my life, and I was just getting high on weed, alcohol or some other substance every day for the next 4 years. I barely attended uni, managed to get a year back. Pretty much wasted 5 years of my life just getting high or drunk. Anyways after that conversation with X, I stopped talking to her till I think my third year of uni. I met her once in twice in between, once when we were both back at our hometown, and once when she came to score some weed with her boyfriend (yeah I was also a dealer in uni). When I got into my 3rd year of uni, one day she hits me up outta nowhere and she said she's coming over to stay with me, and she stayed for like 2 days. I didnt make a move because I am a fucking dumbass, and I thought she just came there because we were friends. I call myself a dumbass because I do not understand signals from women. I'm also calling myself a dumbass because me and X ended up making out last year and she told me that she's wanted to do this for a while and when I asked her when she told me it whenever she came over to stay with me(which happened like 2 times). And the thing is, we made out after not talking to each other for nearly 3 years. After my uni I decided to completely cut ties with her because I knew that I was fucking up my life and one of the main reasons, there were plenty tbh, that were much worse than a girl not liking me but none of that mattered really because I honestly haven't cared about anything or anyone as much as I cared about her and I didnt know how to get her to like me. At the time I even thought it was all her fault(because it's definitely easier to blame someone else for the shit that goes wrong in your life than to admit that you're the fucking problem) and so one night I just sent her this huge message telling her to get the fuck out if my life and how she has ruined it and blocked her. After this I decided to quit smoking weed every day and isolated myself for a good 6 months(well not really by choice, I decided to move to my uncle's house during covid, and he wouldn't let me out because he was scared of getting infected). After the 6 months I went back to my hometown and I meet her the day after I landed(cuz we have mutual friends) and she asked me if i blocked her and I said yeah. We ended up meeting again a couple of times because we pretty much have the same friends, which didn't help me get over her so I just decided to cut out all my friends for like 2 years. And honestly speaking I got my shit together in those 2 years. Now I've never been someone with a lot of confidence my whole life. I've been an addict with no self control. Addicted to different substances, food, porn, cigarettes, just being an absolute waste man. Throughout high-school I was a fatass ugly fucker. I got attractive in uni cuz I smoked weed and lost a fuck ton of weight, I was attractive on the outside but a piece of shit on the inside(I knew it, but no one else really did)so getting attractive really didn't help my confidence a bit. In the last 2 years I finally got my shit together, got over almost all my addictions(smoking was my main, now it's porn, trying to get over it now) started going to the gym regularly and felt happy about myself, and I decided to start talking to my old friends and unblocked X because I finally realized it's not her fault that shit went wrong in my life, but my own which i didn't really admit to her cuz I had too much ego. I didn't even start talking to her, I just unblocked her and started following her socials. We ended up meeting because of our mutual friends, and the second time we met, we got super drunk, and we both started apologizing to each other. Later that night she made a move on me and we made out for a bit. Now I've hooked up with other people, but I've always felt like shit about it because it just never felt good. But I can't forget this fucking night, like it's etched in my fucking memory unlike most things because I have a shit memory. Honestly I forget most things that happen in my life except for moments i spend with her. Thing is I didn't wanna pursue it any further because I was leaving the country to pursue my passion (which didn't work out and I returned back home) and now I feel like it's too late to pursue it, because I don't think she's interested. I don't wanna tell her how I feel either because I've done this before and it's never worked out. I used to keep making excuses about being single to everyone by telling people that i don't have the opportunity to meet a lot of women after college(partially true), but now at my new job I meet plenty of women but I'm not interested in any of them because I know deep down I'm still in love with X. I don't think I can fall in love with anyone else and honestly I don't know what the fuck to do at this point. Worst part is life is going great at this point after being down in the dumps for so long. Got a decent job that I actually like going to, got great friends, have a lot of control over myself, but I still don't feel any happier because I'm not with her. Can't even tell this to anyone cuz our mutual friends think I'm over her, and don't know anything that happened between us. And my other friends just don't support me liking her so I just tell them I don't like her anymore.

A few days ago we fought from 1:30a till about 8am. We have lengthy arguments like this all the time. We used to date, and it played a key role in the end of our relationship along with us having different values in general. I made it clear before we started dating I can't handle much fighting, particularly yelling, because of aspects of my childhood.
Two fights happened on my two birthdays- or before other important things like it's the night before a road trip or I'm ON the road trip. They happen when I want to go to bed or I'm about to run an errand. He monologs for literal hours at a time, and I can't speak up when he speaks incorrectly on my part because then I'm interrupting him and that causes more issues than me being misunderstood or remembered incorrectly.
In our relationship they were often caused by me not wanting him to pay my for my phone/phone bill before we'd been dating for even 3 months, though they were also caused by me being late to coming over and stuff like that as well. Sometimes I'd accidentally fall asleep after work instead of coming over, if I lay down after a shower, which I did a few times as I worked very early in the morning, and it made him feel like I didn't value his time.
I didn't talk to him for a few months after we broke up, even though he tried to contact me to apologize several times by texting/phonecalls/visiting several times at my apartment. Eventually someone knocked on my door and I opened it before I realized it was him. I didn't want to turn him away so we talked and he very sincerely apologized and talked about how he'd been going to therapy. I could recognize a great deal of change in him and we caught up on eachothers lives.
I moved to a different state like a week after we got in contact and i am struggling with this long distance friendship. He wants to talk all the time and I.. don't. I enjoy texting but sometimes I want to watch a show or play a game uninterrupted, but if I don't respond enough he feels ignored. He also likes to talk on the phone all the time and I really really don't enjoy talking on the phone at all, especially for hours at a time. We talked every night for a couple weeks in the beginning. But after a bad fight i reminded him I don't like being on the phone and said I wanted some space, which had been on my mind prior to the argument. The next week we talk on the phone for like 3 nights for a few hours, and maybe a few other little calls here and there, but he says it's not enough
But the thing is.. even when we talked for hours every night and texted pretty often it still wasn't enough. The only time it was enough was a short window when I checked my phone pretty obsessively to make sure I didn't miss a message from him and always stopped what I was doing to take his call
If my snap score goes up when we're not talking he asks me about it. I don't know why but I feel uncomfortable explaining to him the other people I talk to in the day. And often I'm not even talking to them when I'm not talking to him- they send me snaps when I'm not on my phone. I don't respond to anyone unless I make sure I respond to him first to avoid this exact issue. I feel anxious when my friends snap me because I know my score will go up and he's going to ask me about it
For the most part, our fights presently revolve around him feeling like I don't care enough about our friendship or he's feeling ignored by me. But I really really don't know what to do anymore. I was talking on the phone for hours at a time, I was texting all the time and keeping my responses as long as possible.. I was planning movie days, etc. It was never enough.
He's upset my responses are getting shorter. And to be honest they have. Often times I talk about my life, especially someone else in my life, it triggers a fight. Not always in the moment but it always comes back to bite me in the butt later. Particularly if I'm hanging out with my roommate, because in my friends eyes he and I get to hang out with all time. Which we kind of don't- my time is far more devoted to my friend than my roomate. But even if it wasn't- I like hanging out with my roomate because we can quietly sit in the same room together, and we don't have any conflict. He is a very kind presence and I'm grateful to have him as a friend.
It's hard talking about your life while also revealing the bare minimum about your life, and so I'm responding kind of shortly about my things and just try to focus on him.
The fight we had a few days ago was about us not talking enough. Sort of. The reasons our fights go on for hours is because I don't know how to respond to him when he brings up an issue. I sincerely try my best and I try it all. When he brings something up I explain to him I understand his concerns, both using his exact words and in my own words I explain why he's upset. If I agree with him I will apologize and tell him how I'm going to fix it and I fix it, after we fight for a few hours ofc, because he doesn't believe I can understand/apologize and fix something so early into a conversation.
Other times he keeps pushing me to explain myself, but if I explain my pov, things really really blow up because I don't always agree with him. And I think he confuses me not agreeing with him to not understanding. One of our fights came because he was upset when I got home with my roommate at 1am, when I had a 3 hour drive at 8am the next morning. Which blows my mind, because he fought with me literally all night before I drove across the state. I didn't tell him that though, I said I didn't mind getting home till 1 because I had fun when I was out and will still get plenty of sleep. But we still fought.
Anyway... the other day he brought up he feels like we don't talk enough. And I said I understand it's hard but this is the boundary I'm setting because I don't enjoy being on the phone. We fight and he says that even when we do talk I'm not talking enough right now. We fight and I reluctantly told him I just don't feel comfortable opening up right now. We fight and fight and it's turning me into a person I dont know or how to control.
In the beginning of our relationship I was quiet and just agreed to everything he said to avoid the argument. This didnt always work but it tends to. Now I get so overwhelmed and angry after several hours I mute my phone and scream into my pillow. This last call I started hitting myself, which I've never done before, and the next day my cheeks were bumpy and itchy, my forehead was swollen, my scalp hurt to touch, and I'm still getting over my two black eyes. He did NOT cause me to hit myself and he doesn't know. I feel silly for doing it. But I find myself at my breaking point and I don't know how to manage these fights anymore.
After hours and hours I break down and I just start agreeing to whatever he says I'm wrong about because I want it to end. I repeat the very thing I said eight hours ago- what I'm wrong about and how I'm going to fix it, but only now after crying on the phone all night long is it kind of enough.
He sent me a long apology the morning after the fight and said he wouldn't do it anymore. I thanked him for not wanting those fights anymore. He sent me a pic of his dog and I said she was cute. That night I let our streak die. He messaged me this morning "you let our streak die" and I sat at my phone for ten minutes thinking of how to respond and eventually I just decided not to. He called me twice tonight at around 8pm and texted that he wanted us to talk for a bit, but i had made plans with another friend of mine a week ago to play animal crossing, so I did that and didn't respond to him. At 3am I saw he was typing on snapchat and I'm anxious because I've been receiving snaps and know my score went up, even though I have sent zero snaps to keep the number as low as I can
I know he wants to be friends still
But I sort of don't want to be friends anymore???? I really love the positive things in our relationship. In a lot of ways he was the best boyfriend and best friend I've ever had. But I can't do this anymore. I hate the person I am in these fights. I know he does not control my actions, it is not his fault I scream in my pillow or gave myself black eyes. But I have never in my life had any sort of romantic or friendly relationship like this. And I don't enjoy it. I really really love not fighting with my loved ones. And I really feel like no matter what I do to make him feel heard when he brings up an issue it's not enough. Every fight we have damages our friendship, which I've told him several times. I used to get over them easily but I am just so drained I always feel wary for the next blow up.
But I don't want him to feel like I'm abandoning our friendship? I don't know how to end a friendship? I've never had one end that wasn't a result of just growing apart. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wish I never opened my door when he came over. I'm supposed to go to my home state shortly and I'm very anxious about being in the same state as him

I've been in love with this girl(X) since I was 14 or 15. I'm 26 now. Nearly 10 or 11 years later. We've been close friends on and off througout these years. On and off because I keep trying to cut ties(which I fail to keep cut because I just end up talking to her again). I did it once in high school when she got a boyfriend and then started talking to her again when they broke up, but I never had the balls to ask her out the rest of high school, and finally when it ended I tried cutting ties again before I left for uni(thought it'd be for good this time because we were going to different states, more than 10 hours away from each other). Things were going okay in uni, in my first year, and I found someone else(Y) that I liked, she had a boyfriend(long distance) so I wasn't hitting on her but l'm pretty sure she knew I liked her. We got really close in the first few months of uni, one day she asks me if i like her and I said yes, after which we stopped talking which really fucking hurt because I thought we were close friends. Right after that happened I started texting X again and it was like we never stopped talking. I got caught for weed at my dorm one night and while I was flipping out about being kicked out of the dorm and my parents finding out, she calls me up and one of the worst nights of my life turned out to be the best, and I guess that's when I realized I'm might still be in love with her. And I confirmed I was in love with her when one of our mutual friends told me that she told him that she liked me at some point in high school. But I didn't wanna admit it or tell her because I saw no point since we were 10 hours apart which just made me feel like absolute shit. Prior to college, till shit went south with Y, I'd never smoked(cigs or weed) or drank and was completely against it. One night I decided to get wasted(it was my first time getting drunk, and the last tbh for another 2 years) and since I didnt know any better I had 8 or 9 shots of whiskey back to back after which I got pretty fucked up and out of control and I ended up texting her admitting how I felt in I think a fucking 3 page essay to which I got no response which made me feel like absolute dogshit and I ended up crying the entire night at my friend's place. Next day I was still feeling like shit and I was at another friend's place smoking up and still crying about it to him and he just picks up my phone and calls her up and asks her to talk to me and she tells me she doesn't feel the same which broke me. After that conversation I just decided to just say fuck it, and fuck up my life, and I was just getting high on weed, alcohol or some other substance every day for the next 4 years. I barely attended uni, managed to get a year back. Pretty much wasted 5 years of my life just getting high or drunk. Anyways after that conversation with X, I stopped talking to her till I think my third year of uni. I met her once in twice in between, once when we were both back at our hometown, and once when she came to score some weed with her boyfriend (yeah I was also a dealer in uni). When I got into my 3rd year of uni, one day she hits me up outta nowhere and she said she's coming over to stay with me, and she stayed for like 2 days. I didnt make a move because I am a fucking dumbass, and I thought she just came there because we were friends. I call myself a dumbass because I do not understand signals from women. I'm also calling myself a dumbass because me and X ended up making out last year and she told me that she's wanted to do this for a while and when I asked her when she told me it whenever she came over to stay with me(which happened like 2 times). And the thing is, we made out after not talking to each other for nearly 3 years. After my uni I decided to completely cut ties with her because I knew that I was fucking up my life and one of the main reasons, there were plenty tbh, that were much worse than a girl not liking me but none of that mattered really because I honestly haven't cared about anything or anyone as much as I cared about her and I didnt know how to get her to like me. At the time I even thought it was all her fault(because it's definitely easier to blame someone else for the shit that goes wrong in your life than to admit that you're the fucking problem) and so one night I just sent her this huge message telling her to get the fuck out if my life and how she has ruined it and blocked her. After this I decided to quit smoking weed every day and isolated myself for a good 6 months(well not really by choice, I decided to move to my uncle's house during covid, and he wouldn't let me out because he was scared of getting infected). After the 6 months I went back to my hometown and I meet her the day after I landed(cuz we have mutual friends) and she asked me if i blocked her and I said yeah. We ended up meeting again a couple of times because we pretty much have the same friends, which didn't help me get over her so I just decided to cut out all my friends for like 2 years. And honestly speaking I got my shit together in those 2 years. Now I've never been someone with a lot of confidence my whole life. I've been an addict with no self control. Addicted to different substances, food, porn, cigarettes, just being an absolute waste man. Throughout high-school I was a fatass ugly fucker. I got attractive in uni cuz I smoked weed and lost a fuck ton of weight, I was attractive on the outside but a piece of shit on the inside(I knew it, but no one else really did)so getting attractive really didn't help my confidence a bit. In the last 2 years I finally got my shit together, got over almost all my addictions(smoking was my main, now it's porn, trying to get over it now) started going to the gym regularly and felt happy about myself, and I decided to start talking to my old friends and unblocked X because I finally realized it's not her fault that shit went wrong in my life, but my own which i didn't really admit to her cuz I had too much ego. I didn't even start talking to her, I just unblocked her and started following her socials. We ended up meeting because of our mutual friends, and the second time we met, we got super drunk, and we both started apologizing to each other. Later that night she made a move on me and we made out for a bit. Now I've hooked up with other people, but I've always felt like shit about it because it just never felt good. But I can't forget this fucking night, like it's etched in my fucking memory unlike most things because I have a shit memory. Honestly I forget most things that happen in my life except for moments i spend with her. Thing is I didn't wanna pursue it any further because I was leaving the country to pursue my passion (which didn't work out and I returned back home) and now I feel like it's too late to pursue it, because I don't think she's interested. I don't wanna tell her how I feel either because I've done this before and it's never worked out. I used to keep making excuses about being single to everyone by telling people that i don't have the opportunity to meet a lot of women after college(partially true), but now at my new job I meet plenty of women but I'm not interested in any of them because I know deep down I'm still in love with X. I don't think I can fall in love with anyone else and honestly I don't know what the fuck to do at this point. Worst part is life is going great at this point after being down in the dumps for so long. Got a decent job that I actually like going to, got great friends, have a lot of control over myself, but I still don't feel any happier because I'm not with her.

As the title says, I’m worried for my friend and what seems to be an increasingly toxic relationship between her boyfriend and two of her other friends.
For the sake of anonymity I’m not disclosing any details but as a reference we are all in our early 20s.
Yesterday we went out for a meal, and I had met one of her friends for the first time, and the other I’ve met maybe 2-3 times before. The experiences really haven’t been pleasant, to say the least. Regardless this post isn’t about me, I’m just wondering what I can do to support a friend that is blind to what’s going on in front of her.
I first realised that the first friend seems to have a very VERY close relationship with her boyfriend. Like too close for comfort. They’ve bought loads of matching shirts, call each other “Big Bean” and “Little Bean” and other cutesy nicknames, and are constantly all over each other at social events. The second friend I met yesterday also felt comfortable enough to sit on his lap without asking and be very touchy with him right in front of my friend. The boyfriend is enjoying this attention. They’re both really pretty girls so I’m not surprised in the slightest, but it seems whenever we’re out at these social events the attention is all centred around them. It makes everyone else extremely uncomfortable, but no one says anything. No one seems to bat an eyelid.
The first friend has even gone as far as to book concerts and hotels with said boyfriend without my friend’s knowledge. My friend claims that she is fine with all of this, but I’ve heard that this has really upset her in the past.
In every picture or video, one of them is always closer to her boyfriend. Riding on his back, cuddled up to his chest; I just don’t understand how or why she could be fine with this. Maybe I am reading into this all wrong, and I know it’s none of my business, but I am really worried about this dynamic and how it appears there’s no boundaries between them at all. I have been friends with said boyfriend for longer than my friend has even dated him, I have never once been touchy or feely with him and wouldn’t because that is one of my best friends.
Is there anything I can do? I can see it’s upsetting her. I can see this is wrong. I don’t know how everyone seems to be indifferent towards it. I know I should not get involved, but I can see this turning sour quickly.
Tl;dr: My friend seems to be letting her two friends be very touchy and feely with her boyfriend and I’m worried about the toxic dynamic.

TLDR: boyfriend turns every discussion or argument into him repeatedly picking at mistakes I make during the argument.
We’ve been together 1.5 years, been friends since we were teenagers. He started doing this thing recently where he ignores every important thing I have to say, then repeats on a loop the one mistake I made, or the 1 shitty thing I said. Most recently I referred to my bedroom (in the apartment I pay for on my own) as “my bedroom” instead of “our bedroom”. Every valid point I made flew out the window and it was a loop of “since it’s YOUR bedroom” yaddah yah trying to guilt me.
Nothing of any value gets addressed. This person just picks the one flaw they can find and throws it at me on repeat until I physically can’t stand it anymore and have to separate myself. How can I avoid getting sucked into the loop? I do everything I can to avoid giving him any ammo but he always finds SOMETHING to shove down my throat.
Yesterday I was explaining to him that being the only one working AND delegating every household task was stressful and all he kept repeating back no matter WHAT I said was “so it’s all about money huh? It’s all about money? All you care about is money?” Which is crazy bc I’ve been financially supporting him for over a year. Him getting a job wasn’t even my main point, he just focused on it so hard. Saying stuff like “you can’t make me feel worthless anymore. I’m worth something with or without a job. I don’t need a job to prove I’m worth something to you” when that was just a small point of one of the many things I brought up. I also have never called him worthless ever during our whole relationship. He’s picked up this habit recently bc he’s noticed it’s great at shutting me down completely. Very nasty and I’d like to get it to stop. Suggestions on dealing with this fun new habit of his? 🙄

Some backstory before you bomb me with let it be that's not your business, cuz I'm really worried about her and she is such a nice person.
I'm not a very friendly person. I'm cold and have a very tough time making friends. Our school organized a trip to Paris before graduation and I thought I was going to be alone, like always, and didn't mind since one gets used to it.
I was shocked when one of my classmates ( let's call her Lee to make this easier) offer me to share room with her and one of her best friends ( let's call her Nancy, she is the main character of this story).
They have always been kind to me since I arrived to school lash year. Lee even invited me to her Quinceañera and even today I can't understand why they were all so welcoming and nice to me.
We weren't the closest of friend so I was really surprised. I later discovered that Lee turned down and offer from one of her friends to be with Nancy and with me. That's another story, so I won't go into detail about that.
When you share room with someone, even if it's for a week, you get to know them a lot.
I knew she had a bf because we where all in the same class last year. What I didn't know is that they broke up.
She told us the whole story when eating at McDonald's with another friend ( let's call him Dan). He's relevant to the story since he's friends with the friends of Nancy's ex. Nancy told us they broke up in good terms. After the break up some of his ex's friends ( let's call the ex Cole since keeping up with the ex bla bla bla Is getting tedious) told Nancy about his multiple affairs. They were at least 3 in the 8 months of the relationship. One at the FIRST WEEK. Another one when he went to visit his relatives in Rumania, and another one I don't remember when.
We talked a lot that night. A few days later Dan told us some nasty things Cole said at Nancy's back. For example, quote, You changed me for that fucking nasty *beaner*.
It's important to say Dan isn't friends with Cole, so he might have said that to hurt Nancy through Dan, idk.
My sister is also friends with a friend of Cole. I listen to the audios he sent her and we can sum them up by saying that "Nancy was a slut, trying to get someone between her legs". He also told my sister that Nancy ended the relationship because, quote again "she wanted to be with other men while Cole was away, since she didn't felt loved enough". He also told my sister that he was texting a lot of guys with very friendly messages, while Cole worked his ass of to give her the best, spending many money on her, like if she was an investment or something.
Let's say that, at the very end of the relationship, a guy started texting Nancy and there was mutual interest. Though she always turned down his offers and invitations for the relationship's sake.
It's also worth mentioning that after the break up, Cole was dating again after literally a week, showing off her girlfriend specially to Nancy.
Nancy hasn't been in any dates since. She kept on talking with this guy though, but it wasjust texting, nothing more.
Now, fast forward to today, they're posting stories together holding hands and kissing ( Cole and Nancy). I haven't asked Nancy or Lee about it ñ, but it seems very, very sus to me.
I'll ask my twin, Queen of the gossip, if this is real or just bait.
I haven't talked with Nancy a lot since the trip, more than the usual hi wassup. I'm really looking forward to keep my friendship with them since they're really good people.
I really want to help her since I found what he said and what he did to her almost unforgivable for a boyfriend.
Idk of someone here has been to something similar to help me to help her. Thanks of you read through the whole post and look forward to your comments.

Some backstory before you bomb me with let it be that's not your business, cuz I'm really worried about her and she is such a nice person.
I'm not a very friendly person. I'm cold and have a very tough time making friends. Our school organized a trip to Paris before graduation and I thought I was going to be alone, like always, and didn't mind since one gets used to it.
I was shocked when one of my classmates ( let's call her Lee to make this easier) offer me to share room with her and one of her best friends ( let's call her Nancy, she is the main character of this story).
They have always been kind to me since I arrived to school lash year. Lee even invited me to her Quinceañera and even today I can't understand why they were all so welcoming and nice to me.
We weren't the closest of friend so I was really surprised. I later discovered that Lee turned down and offer from one of her friends to be with Nancy and with me. That's another story, so I won't go into detail about that.
When you share room with someone, even if it's for a week, you get to know them a lot.
I knew she had a bf because we where all in the same class last year. What I didn't know is that they broke up.
She told us the whole story when eating at McDonald's with another friend ( let's call him Dan). He's relevant to the story since he's friends with the friends of Nancy's ex. Nancy told us they broke up in good terms. After the break up some of his ex's friends ( let's call the ex Cole since keeping up with the ex bla bla bla Is getting tedious) told Nancy about his multiple affairs. They were at least 3 in the 8 months of the relationship. One at the FIRST WEEK. Another one when he went to visit his relatives in Rumania, and another one I don't remember when.
We talked a lot that night. A few days later Dan told us some nasty things Cole said at Nancy's back. For example, quote, You changed me for that fucking nasty *beaner*.
It's important to say Dan isn't friends with Cole, so he might have said that to hurt Nancy through Dan, idk.
My sister is also friends with a friend of Cole. I listen to the audios he sent her and we can sum them up by saying that "Nancy was a slut, trying to get someone between her legs". He also told my sister that Nancy ended the relationship because, quote again "she wanted to be with other men while Cole was away, since she didn't felt loved enough". He also told my sister that he was texting a lot of guys with very friendly messages, while Cole worked his ass of to give her the best, spending many money on her, like if she was an investment or something.
Let's say that, at the very end of the relationship, a guy started texting Nancy and there was mutual interest. Though she always turned down his offers and invitations for the relationship's sake.
It's also worth mentioning that after the break up, Cole was dating again after literally a week, showing off her girlfriend specially to Nancy.
Nancy hasn't been in any dates since. She kept on talking with this guy though, but it wasjust texting, nothing more.
Now, fast forward to today, they're posting stories together holding hands and kissing ( Cole and Nancy). I haven't asked Nancy or Lee about it ñ, but it seems very, very sus to me.
I'll ask my twin, Queen of the gossip, if this is real or just bait.
I haven't talked with Nancy a lot since the trip, more than the usual hi wassup. I'm really looking forward to keep my friendship with them since they're really good people.
I really want to help her since I found what he said and what he did to her almost unforgivable for a boyfriend.
Idk of someone here has been to something similar to help me to help her. Thanks of you read through the whole post and look forward to your comments.

I tried writing this last night but it got too long so I will try to make it shorter this time.
So in 2017 I was added in a group chat on Facebook. He was in the group chat. I was always the type of friend who would be there for my friends so I reminded them that if they need someone they can talk to me. I hung out often with these people. But individually I wasn’t close to anyone(if that makes sense).
He texted me one day asking me for help. He was sure I wasn’t going to judge him. I really didn’t. After that we kind of got close. We started hanging out individually. he wasn’t like the other guys and our bond was special. I hoped to lose him.
Slowly my feelings for him grew. I was in denial because I can’t do it. It would ruin the friendship. One night me and that friend group hung out. We “sneaked” into a nightclub. We were underage but one girl wasn’t and you are allowed to go into nightclubs with a family member(or someone who is over 18). We drank a little and the alcohol got us in a flirty mood. he started flirting with me and I flirted back. Somehow after this we kept on flirting as a joke. my mind didn’t accept this is a joke even though it was.
My feelings got more intense when he started talking to a girl. I was helping him still because I was still in denial. They got together and since it was a long distance relationship it was all good but it was long distance but when they met things got toxic. I wont go into details but we all were telling him to break up with her. When he did I was relieved. We started jokingly flirting again. And planning future. To move in together and have a dog and a cat. Somehow was delusional enough to think that he was being for real even though we both knew it was a joke. I was so hurt how he would rant about how much he misses her the next day.
My world turned around when they got back together. I got physically sick and that night I realised I was in love. I was hoping for them to break up so i could make him fall for me. Long story short his relationship with that girl was on and off. Every time it was off(breaking up) I would have hopes and at this point I was the one who flirted the most and I was being for real.
The relationship lasted 2 years and half. After they broke up for real I had a feeling it was over. Around the time I tried to make him forget about her and I tried to prove him that he is loved(without confessing). I was so jealous when he told me that many girls confessed to him that they like him and they were waiting for him to break up with his ex. He started fucking around(although I would say that he isn’t as bad as most of the guys because his body count is not a double number). I was still trying to make him fall for me.
One night we went to a nightclub again with his friends. We both got a little drunk and flirty. Sober me would be too shy to sit on his lap. This was the first time we got touchy. I was too confident. I don’t remember what we were saying before we kissed but I was so happy. I was in the mood so I started teasing him but he stopped me because I was drunk. I told him that I’ve been waiting for years for this to happen and I’m sure. But that night things ended here.
The next day we talked about it and I couldn’t hide the fact that I was waiting for him for years. We decided to give it a try. I was so happy. Happy and in love. It was like a dream come true.
Everything was perfect besides from when I initiated sex he would reject me because he wants my first time to be special. I told him that it will be special because it’s going to be with him. He said that we can’t do it yet. And I was weirded out. Why?
One night I was too curious and I decided to do something I would never do. I went through his phone. And I found out something that broke my heart. he was texting his friends about how much he loves me but he misses his ex. His friends were calling him stupid for missing a bitch who cheated on him and used him and manipulated him. He opened up about how he doesn’t want to have sex with me because he doesn’t think that it would be fair to me my first time should be special. I felt so heartbroken.
In the morning I told him that I know he misses his ex and we got an argument about how I went through his phone without his consent but then he apologised to me. We ended things and my biggest fear came true. I lost him. It’s been six months but it’s still hurts.
So guys please don’t wait for someone for years. Don’t wait for someone who is in a relationship. Don’t the guy who got out of a relationship less than a year ago. Don’t make my mistakes.

[19F] Navigating a relationship since I was just 14 and he was 18, meeting online, and then finally getting to hang out in person was like a dream come true. We shared everything, from silly inside jokes to deeper fears and anxieties. But my constant battle with anxiety and panic attacks was always lurking in the background, casting a shadow over our otherwise happy moments
When a stressful family event hit, I felt like I was drowning. I couldn't handle the pressure, and I resorted to self-harm. It was a dark and scary time, but I knew I had to reach out for help. Confiding in my mom was the first step, and before I knew it, I found myself in a mental hospital, with my boyfriend by my side, holding my hand and telling me how proud he was of me for being brave enough to seek help
But the road to recovery wasn't smooth sailing. The medication they gave me at the hospital made things worse before they got better. My panic attacks became even more intense, and I felt like I was losing control. I turned to my boyfriend for support, pouring my heart out to him about how tired I was of fighting and how I just wanted the pain to end. And then, out of nowhere, he dropped the bombshell..he was breaking up with me... (also before my birthday)
I felt like the ground had been pulled out from under me. The one person I thought would always be there for me had turned his back on me when I needed him the most. And to make matters worse, his mom, who had always been so sweet to me, suddenly cut me off completely. It felt like I was losing everyone I cared about, and it sent my panic attacks into overdrive
In the midst of all this chaos, I turned to therapy and medication for some semblance of stability. And slowly, ever so slowly, things started to improve. But despite the progress I was making, I couldn't shake the feeling of longing for my ex-boyfriend. I wanted to show him that I had changed, that I was getting better, but every attempt I made to reach out to him was met with silence or rejection. Started telling me how he doesn't think about me anymore and even if we would get back together he might loose one of his best friend ... And he also called me a narcissist.. :(
I'm trying to push forward but it's getting harder and harder... I'm sorry for doing the stuff I've done and I'm sorry for being like this ... I'm really trying to get better ... I still love him A LOT and I'm sorry for being impulse and trying to send him messages now even though he doesn't wanna hear from me anymore...I miss him .... I haven't ate in 4 days and I find myself going to sleep with anxiety and waking up with anxiety.
Please tell me what can I do now...??

I (16 f) had a girls night at my house recently. I invited my whole friend group which all up was around 15 people. I had planned snacks, movies, dinner etc. I paid for the expenses and the cost turned out to be around $200. I was fine with it and knew I was going to have to pay some fee to have a good time with my friends.
I should also mention since the girls night was big and involved alot of people, my parents said I could host it however I wouldn’t have a birthday party later that year as they tend to struggle when accomodating people, feeling like they can’t let anything bad or anyone get hurt otherwise it’s their fault. I understand and honestly fair enough.
Anyways I had all of these things planned and fast forward to the night I had spent ages decorating, tidying, setting up and making everything look nice. Everyone showed up and at the start it was really fun. We played twister and talked about school and whatever. We eventually headed into the lounge room and started talking.
One of the girls in my group (let’s call her Marissa) has always had an issue with me. We have had arguments and disagreements before with me always ending up having to be the bigger person. One time she was talking shit about me behind my back and then when I confronted her she said that it wasn’t her fault and we just weren’t similar enough. I even ended up apologising for prying. To say the least we haven’t always been on good terms yet we finally were normal and I didn’t want to not invite her because ik that would cause a stir in the group.
We were all talking and she asks me which of my friends that are guys, don’t like her. I said I wasn’t comfortable saying that, that I thought she would go and contact them afterwards and also the wool group was there and no one needed to know nor did she have a reason. She kept begging me and calling me a gate keeping bitch so I reluctantly agreed to tell her privately in another room and if she promised to not go to them or anyone else afterwards.
She agreed and I told her. I instantly regretted my actions but said nothing as we both headed back to the lounge room. Without a second of hesitation she jumped on her phone and started texting someone.
I asked her if she was texting someone who I had told her and she said no.
I checked my phone a few minutes later and 2 of my guy friends had contacted me furious that I had said what I did. I apologised profusely because I know what I did was wrong. I then revived messages from other people in my class about what I had said (not people I had said to Marissa) and it sounded like she had completely exaggerated and twisted everything around. I was so upset. I went to go back to the lounge room and act like nothing had happened when I heard her talking shit about me. In my own home.
I stayed in my bedroom for most the night with a few girls staying with me unsure of what had happened.
School started two weeks later and Marisa was acting as if nothing had happened. I had tried to let the incident go over the break but when she started acting normal(except for giving me the cold shoulder) I was furious.
I contacted her that night demanding to know why she would break the promise she made to me and then proceed to talk about me. She left me on read so I kept sending her texts saying I wanted to work things out and if she was going to ignore me on text she couldn’t at school.
I showed up at school the next day to see her mom at the front office. I was concerned but tried not to think much of it. I was called to the deputy office later that day. The deputy told me that Marissa was saying I was harassing her and bullying her. Her evidence was screen shot of my texts that yes did involve swearing as I was angry but nothing violent. She showed them to her mum who apparently was asked by Marisa to take it up with the deputy .
I told the deputy my side of the story and luckily she believed me. Otherwise I would have been suspended or worse. I later found that those were her intentions.
This completely divided our group with majority of them siding with her as she told them I was bullying her but continently never showed them the messages. The news spread fast and now I have a bunch of people talking about me and rumours are spreading about what a horrible person I am. Sorry this was so long but AITA?

hello all,
i will give more context later in the post, but for people who don't want to read all of that mess: what do you do about a pwBPD trying to break up your relationships/friendships because you "don't pay attention enough to them anymore"? my partner already recognizes the abuse so there's not really a risk of me getting broken up with, but i'm worried about the pwBPD reaching out to our mutual friends. i'm mostly afraid that our mutual friends are going to think i'm trying to control the narrative or cover something up or anything weird like that? which is kind of ironic because it's what she's doing already, i just don't want to be forced to get on her level lol. at this point im so done with this pwBPD i don't care what they think of me, just would really like to keep my other friends.
i'm thinking about just asking my friends something like: "hey if this friend (pwBPD) messages you trying to talk badly about me or my partner, can you let me know so i can talk to her some more? it's something we're trying to handle privately between us 3 but unfortunately we found out she's already talking about us behind our backs to other people so we would really appreciate it if you ignored it for now if it comes up. i'm so sorry about any stress this might cause you, please let me know if you want to talk more about it" or something along those lines. i don't want to give them too much information or anything out of respect of everyone's time and privacy but i wonder if giving more details would help? is this a good start or would you guys recommend saying something else?
more details, you don't really have to read past this point but it helps for background information & gets into detail of the abusive behaviors:
it's just such a huge mess i just wish i never met this person. she's trying to get my partner kicked out of their housing situation already, and turning their other school friends against them to the point where my partner might have to move back in with their parents. she was originally introduced to me by my partner and they had been best friends for a really long while so they cry to my partner every day like "how can you be dating someone that hates your best friend", demanding my partner come home from doing stuff with me to 'help' her with the stupidest stuff like going to a routine doctor visit (??) or fixing her laptop, etc. and she will throw fits and say stuff like "friends sometimes just have to do things they don't want to help their friends or even just make them happy for a little while" when all this person does is scream at my partner at this point. and then when i try to talk to her too so she leaves my partner alone (we were never really too close to start with) she just brings up our relationship and says stupid things like "so how's *that* working out for you" or asking really weird invasive sexual questions? it's part of the reason i'm scared to talk about it with friends - i'm worried if they ask me for proof of what this person is doing i'll have to show them all the awkward texts of her being weirdly sexual and i don't want my friends thinking about what me and my partner do in private haha 😅 it's almost like she o*nly *spews sexual-related abuse over text and then keeps the rest in-person or over the phone so we don't have any proof against her that wouldn't be extremely awkward. it's really sickening to me how quickly she turned on us when she has been stable / on medication / in therapy for so long. i almost wonder if she was interested in one or both of us romantically/sexually or something and us deciding to date put her over the edge... she seems really fixated on me specifically despite never making any real effort to talk to me 🤷‍♂️ besides occasionally sending me tiktoks, but she sends them to me on the tiktok app... which she knows i have had uninstalled for almost a year now? really confusing and frustrating person, she will also try to bait people into talking to her through vague facebook statuses and typical passive aggressive stuff like that, but never outright ask anyone besides my partner (her 'best friend') to hang out with her because she thinks everyone else hates her 🙄 i didn't hate her at first, but now it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy for her
my partner originally tried to reassure me that she wouldn't do anything like this but she's clearly already started, so we're trying to figure out what to do and i figured it would be best to ask here. thank you guys (sorry for formatting / english too, and how this got a little rant-y)

I'm 42m.
I have never had close friends and have no family. I try to think of why i turned out like this. I grew up in a middle class home. My dad made ok money but worked night shift my entire childhood, he rarely spoke to me or did things with me. My mom was a stay at home mom until i was a teenager.
I think most days my parents did not really interact with me except for essential things, so they gave me food and clothes, but doing things with them was very rare, like we went on vacations maybe 3 or 4 times during my childhood. I never learned to ride a bike or to swim. I think i learned to tie my shoes when i was 12, i taught myself. I remember that i did not learn to use the bathroom until i was 3, and that also i taught myself, i didn't understand for a long time when i was at other peoples houses or my cousins houses why they had small toilets for the babies.
I remember specific things that happened that stand out in my mind as being especially bad. There are 3 that i can think of.
When i was like 5 or so, i remember being in my room very cold. I didn't understand at the time, but later i came to understand that our house was very drafty and cold in the winter because we had wooden windows and they should have been painted about once a year, they were not maintained and so did not shut all the way were always cracked open a small amount. Also the furnace did not heat the whole house, it only heated it until the thermostat on the 1st floor reached it's preset point, so the upstairs was usualy 10 or more degrees colder. My mom didn't think that we needed blankets (my sister and me, she is about 4 years older). We had sheets on the bed and that was all. I don't remember if it was my sisters idea, i think it was, we went into the hall closet at night to get more blankets and my mom caught us and yelled at us and made us put them back. She said that the blanket i took was a wedding present and i didn't need it. Years later i remember my sister as a teenager having several arguments with my mom about a comforter that she had bought herself. When i moved out of the house i stole that same blanket that was still folded up in the closet never used. Still have it.
When i was 9 i got very sick. My mom thought i had some kind of flu. I kept throwing up. She did not take me to the doctor. She always said how dumb it was how people took their kids to the doctor all the time just because they were sick. She kept giving me ice cream because she said that was good for throwing up and keeping energy up. I was sick for i think more than a whole week, not sure if it went on for 2 or not. Still didn't take me to a doctor, i kept throwing up. Then one day i collapsed and they called an ambulance. It turned out that i was diabetic and was throwing up because my blood sugar was too high.
Later, i think i was 12 or 13. I developed ingrown toenails. My big toes would bleed and ooze every day. When i came home from school they would be stained with blood and some yellow. My mom would yell at me for this and scold me for not taking better care of my feet. This went on for about 6 months. My mom got a foot bath for me, and told me to soak my feet in warm water and gave me these sharp sticks to try to pry the nail out of the skin, but it didn't work. Eventually she did take me to a doctor who performed the surgery to cut the toenails out.
Other things that i remember, smaller things, were things like i asked to join the boy scouts at one point and my mother told me she didn't have to do that because she had already done that when my sister was in girl scouts, and i asked to learn to ride a bike at one point and my parents told me i was too old to go ride a bike with training wheels so i wasn't allowed. I told my mom at one point that when i grew up i wanted to have a family with lots of kids, and she told me i couldn't have a family because of my diabetes, it was going to be too expensive.
My parents never hit me, or denied me food, and when i got diabetes my mom would always track all of my sugar levels and how much insulin, she still has stacks and stacks of the monthly sheets for tracking everything the doctors office gave us. But i don't remember ever playing with her or my dad, my dad didn't take me to football games, though he went with my grandma all the time, they had season tickets together. My parents never told me i should join anything at school like sports or anything.
The older i get, the more i think of these things, and look at how much i hate my life, and i blame them and get angrier at them, i hate them. They are in their 70's now, they invite me over for dinner, on the weekends sometimes, i hate going over there, when ever they text me asking me to go i yell at my phone and i wish they would both die already.

Find the current Daily Discussion* March Prompt Challenge

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Welcome to our new weekly thread, Brainstorming Bureau! This is an idea we've trialled previously and, based on feedback and observation, it feels like something the sub has been crying out for, and we're hoping as the weeks go by it'll turn into a lively, community-oriented way to cap off the weekend. We'd love to hear your feedback and suggestions on how to make the best of this idea as we're trialling it, so feel free to reach out via modmail if you have any ideas. And without further ado...
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Do you have an issue that's too specific to your own fic to make a post about, but too small to seek out a long-term beta or writing partner for? Well, you've come to the right place!
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Hi queen petty potato :), names used are fake. I am dyslexic so I apologise in advance.
I 26(female) and friend Lola 28(female) met because of a mutual Friend Kat 27(female) who I was in the sixth form college classes with at age 17, me and kat got pretty close but she was 18 so she could go out to clubs and bars on the weekend to which I could not yet.
I met Lola a few weeks after my 18th birthday as her birthday was pretty close to mine, Kat asked me if I wanted to go to Lola's birthday party, On first meeting Lola she was kind of cold didn't seem to interested in getting to know me, fast forward a few weeks and me and kat were going out a lot and Lola seem to warmed up to me, Kat did let me know Lola can take time to warm up to people But she did and everything seemed completely fine with us.
Now here's where I should of clocked why she is like this kat and Lola would tell me stories of them in secondary school that they were always falling out or there group of friends changed quite often due to people falling out with Lola, it was all because of boys Lola loved them and basically always wanted to be the centre of attention when boys were around, I had a boyfriend at the time so she basically didn't feel I was as a threat to her as the others (her words not mine).
Well I broke up with said boyfriend as we grow a part, the break up was a little hard as it was my first relationship but kat and Lola were really there for me, I did start to notice Lola would get snappy with me for what I would wear out at party's or clubs but I put it down to this guy Matt who was messing her about a bit and we would see him and his friends all the time, I did get attention from Matt's friends but I liked his friend Joe not Matt as he seemed like a bit of dickhead because how he would treat Lola.
Lola didn't like any of my other friends whom I had known longer as they were friends from my primary school or any new girls she would we meet and would get mad and start arguments with me and Kat when we were hanging out with other people, she got pregnant and would always complain we were always going out when she couldn't, and basically would call us bad friends and unknow calls us and anyone we were with stay silent on the phone to see if we were out as we would lie sometimes because we did want the arguments, she could be pretty selfish as I was not really local to her and would travel to her and she would make no effort to do the same.
This went on for years until I basically said to Lola I don't want to be to be friends it's exhausting and I'm to old going over the same argument, here is where I might be an asshole at this point no one was talking to her not even Kat, so basically I know she has no one at this point other then the latest guy in her life. she calls me and texts me daily saying I'm throwing 8 year friendship away.
Am I the asshole here or could I be more understanding of her feelings.

I (26F) had been dating my boyfriend (27M) for four months now. He has always been too much ‘in love’ with me from the beginning, and made me feel really safe and understood. However, he has always been a little insecure about my past.
A few days back, I was feeling anxious so I talked to him about breaking up twice in a span of two days. We made up later by discussing our issues but the second time around, he was really aggressive and called me all sorts of names like ‘suck xxx’s cock, you just wanted to sleep around, go sleep with x tonight’ and so on. He also got really angry, was throwing things around, put his hand on the stove and so on and I felt unsafe around him.
After this incident, the respect and love I had for him reached a low and I could tell that I was just not happy/invested in this relationship anymore. Last Monday I went and told him that we should break up once and for all and he didn’t take it well. The next night, he came to my place and tried to ring himself in, and then sent me loads of texts and called me saying ‘I’m trying to get in, sleeping on the bench outside your house’ etc. I again felt very unsafe and scared. I was at a friend’s and I had told him I was safe and okay but he still did this and his justification for that was that I was drunk, he was worried about me and he got me food. He kept asking which friend and whether he was a guy, he just wanted to know who I was with.
A few days before this incident, I had recommended his CV to my place of work and tried to create a position for him, and when I realised that he acted up the way he did that night, I told my manager that I don’t feel comfortable being around him at my workplace.
He still wanted to work things out so he’s been pleading me to give another chance when I am really done, but when he found out I talked to my manager about the job and how I felt uncomfortable, he tried to turn it on me and how I sabotaged him. I feel guilty now, wondering, did I overreact? He said that you put me through hell, my confidence has taken a new low, and all this happened while his dad is in the hospital. (Which I did not know when I had broken up, he told me later. Otherwise I wouldn’t have broken up that time). After this he tried to contact my friends and my sister to convince me to see sense and get back together with him. He even threatened to kill himself because I hurt him so much.
I called him to tell him I’m sorry again for everything that happened and I didn’t purposely tell my manager that since I was the one who tried to get him the job in the first place when there wasn’t even any vacancy but by the end he said he wanted to get back together again. He keeps insisting and so I keep telling him my decision hasn’t changed and he is blaming me for putting him through all of this shit. A few days back, we again met at a common friend’s party and he accused me of flirting with someone at this party. Then he later thew insults at me for an hour, insisted that I give him a chance, after which he followed me to my place when I had a panic attack. After this, he insisted that he entered my place and when I said no, he got mad and started hitting his hand (that he had injured before) on a wall. Then he tried to again enter my place later to apologise. When he realised I wasn’t letting him in, he called one of his friend’s friend to let him inside. She thankfully did not. However, she didn’t let him in. After that, I blocked him from all social media but he created accounts on platforms he wasn’t on to try to talk to me. A week later, he messaged me on Telegram (where I hadn’t blocked him), to tell me he got back together with him. Is he a narcissist?

I (25M) matched with a girl (24F) on hinge. We were texting each other once every day or so for just over a week then organised to go on a date. The date went great - she did mention that she has accounting exams coming up soon with her job so she was going to be busy the next couple of months. But we both had a great time and I had no doubts we wanted to see eachother again after the date - she even gave me her umbrella to take home as it was raining and she got a taxi home.
We continued texting once a day - finding out more in common and I mentioned that I’m a fan of Mexican food and she said she is too and she said that could be our next date idea. She then asked when I was free and I booked a restaurant (2 weeks after the first date as she was busy due to a family wedding the weekend after the first date). She also mentioned that as it’s September now, it’s go time in terms of revision.
We met up at the restaurant and the date went fine, again no doubts and lots in common. She mentioned that due to a health condition she doesn’t like to drink alcohol when it’s super hot so she ordered a mocktail instead with her food.
We then went to a rooftop bar afterwards which I’d booked as the weather was really warm. When we got to the rooftop, the girl said it feels hotter up here than it does downstairs (which it did) and she asked me to push a button on my side of the table (I think she assumed it may have been connected to a fan). But when I pushed the button the outdoor heaters turned on which was quite embarrassing and the people in the bar started laughing. I laughed too but it did throw me off and make me feel awkward. The girl did apologise to me and them and was laughing too.
But we sat down and continued chatting - I felt the conversation wasn’t flowing as well due to the awkwardness but there were no awkward silences. I ordered a cocktail but the menu was a little limited for mocktails - I did ask her if she wanted to go somewhere else but she said don’t worry it’s ok. She ended up just having water.
Once i finished my drink, she said she’s going to head off so we walked to the train station together - we didn’t stay at the rooftop for very long. I was still feeling awkward as the last part of the date didn’t go how I’d hoped but I asked if she wanted to go out again and she said yeah definitely so I gave her a quick kiss and said bye.
I messaged her on instagram while I was on my way home and just gave her my phone number and said let me know when you’re home.
She texted me that evening and said ‘hey thanks for dinner tonight - honestly next time you have to let me get the bill! It was v good to see you again. Hope you got home okay x’.
I replied that Thursday evening and said ‘hey no worries it’s all good, but you’re organising the next one’. She then reacted to that message with a little heart on Saturday and said ‘how’s your Saturday been, sorry for the late reply been super busy my sister is visiting😂’ - she did mention that her sister was visiting before we went on the second date. I replied on the Sunday with general convo. She replied on the Monday as usual, being communicative, telling me about her weekend and all the things she did and also asking me more about what I was doing. She also said ‘so not a productive weekend in terms of revision😭’
I replied on the Tuesday, making general conversation again. I didn’t hear back from her on Wednesday, Thursday (which was when I started to get anxious) or Friday. I assumed she had a busy week with work and revision so I’d hear back Friday evening. I also noticed that at some point after the second date she changed one of her prompts on her hinge dating profile - a small change from ‘give me travel tips to Thailand’ to ‘give me travel tips to Miami’. She didn’t update any pictures or anything else and as we’d only been out twice I’m guessing this is normal? She also mentioned on the second date that she’d booked her Miami holiday.
I still didn’t hear back from her and then made a massive mistake Saturday morning and sent her another message which said ‘if you weren’t interested why not just say. You’re a bit of an arsehole to say you wanna go out again, pay and all that then just ignore me’. She responded an hour and a half later and said ‘I wasn’t trying to ignore you - I was genuinely busy this week. But you calling me an arsehole is so uncalled for and tbh I don’t want to see someone who’s going to call me names so I’d rather just call it a day’. I called to try and apologise but she didn’t pick up so I messaged ‘I get you’re busy with exams. Like I fully understand that but it takes 2 seconds to say hey I’m busy right now I’ll get back to you. Tbh it comes across like you’re not interested and a bit rude. So I’m sorry I called you an arsehole but I called you as I wanted to chat to you quickly’. She replied and said ‘sorry missed your call - I’m out. Yeah fairs I get that but the exams are my priority. I feel like I’ve said what I need to say and think it’s just best if we leave it here’. I messaged again trying to sort it out but she didn’t reply. I gave it three weeks and apologised more sincerely and she said it’s all good no hard feelings but she’s got a lot on right now so she doesn’t think it would be best to give it a second chance. I said if it’s the exams I don’t mind if you wanna speak again after they’re all done, but she didn’t reply to that message.
I reached out again after a couple months as I saw her on the same dating app and her profile was updated with new pictures and she said she just doesn’t see this going anywhere and good luck with everything - she then blocked me. I’m assuming she was finished with her exams by this point.
I fully understand that I was completely in the wrong with the way I reacted and I’ve learnt the lesson and won’t ever speak to anyone like that again - I regret it so much because I could see myself liking her and she honestly seemed like the most perfect girl, although we only went on 2 dates and spoke for a month. But do you think it was me calling her an arsehole that caused her to end it (completely valid if so) or if she just wasn’t feeling it before this and I gave her an easy way out?

Men usually have to deal with other guys hitting on their girlfriends/wives and if they’re insecure about it they’re told to suck it up get over it because she chose you over them which most of the time is useless and not helpful. It is even expected as a man to deal with such men on almost a daily basis so we learn to deal with it and get over it. This advice mostly comes from women and sometimes guys themselves. But I can guarantee you that if the roles were reversed women would be just as insecure and jealous as men or even more.
Most guys don’t have random women hitting on them or following them on Instagram, texting them on WhatsApp or even talking to them so it’s a foreign concept to most women since they don’t have to deal with female orbiters and can’t relate to it. And there’s an easy way to prove it, women on Reddit and in real life get angry when their boyfriends just follow attractive women on Instagram, guys aren’t even talking to them just looking and that is enough to make women insecure. Now imagine if those women who he’s following initiated a conversation with him and started complimenting him, liking his pictures, and even sending him her number, or they are hitting on him right in front of you. Women would go crazy with insecurity and jealousy.
Just as an experiment, put your phones together on a table and look at WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook or even Tinder, open the messages and compare who’s getting more attention and conversations from the opposite gender, who’s liking who’s pictures more. You’ll notice that women’s social media is more busier than men’s. Now I ask you ladies, how would you feel if your boyfriend/husband was getting all that attention from other women?

I 22F and my bf 25M are currently on a break for the week. I’m doing my uni finals at the moment, and I have been a bit stressed. I noticed my bf wasn’t really talking to me the way he normally would and I asked him what’s up. He sent me a really long text detailing now he thinks we are never on the same page (1), he keeps thinking about how I read his diary (2), I called him my ex’s name by acccident (3), and he is stressed because I am frustrated about my exams (4). I’ll detail these more now.

1. He wants kids. I met him online and told him in my profile I was strictly against kids. Recently, I have come around about that, but I am still unsure. I’m not against them but I have explained I would need to do what I want and live my life a bit and have a house and job before I could decide that. I am also a child of divorce and saw how that really affected my mum, and I explained to him how that also put me on the fence. He said he doesn’t want to be with someone for years and it feel like a “waste” if it doesn’t work out kids wise and he doesn’t wanna start dating in his 30s. Another thing is travel. I had told him I would perhaps like to travel after uni, but I am forgoing that. I said it would be nice to go away on holiday like his other friend couples do maybe once a year, but he thought that I was insinuating we MUST go this year. I explained that I wasn’t expecting him to, because he wants to save for a house (rent), and he can’t get any hols anyway. He was really silent after that as if we had “argued” and in his eyes that was an argument he brought up this week. I didn’t raise my voice at him or argue, rather said that wasn’t what I meant and explained further.
   
2. This one is bad, I know. I was in a really bad place mentally, and I thought that something was wrong with him since he sometimes suffered from anxiety and dealing with the future. I had only read the last entry he put in and immediately after I read it I told him as I felt so guilty betraying him. I’ve apologised profusely and I’ve been going to counselling to help my own anxiety and depression. I wanna note that I’m not like that around him, it’s mainly when I’m by myself so he doesn’t really see that side of me. In the moment I was genuinely worried for him. I know it still makes what I did bad.
   
3. This one really tears me up every day. We were playing around, and instead of saying his name in a playful annoyed way I said my exes. He immediately shut down and wouldn’t talk to me or hear me out. In fact, he kicked me out of his house. I get that what I said was not nice to hear, and upon talking to my counsellor she said it was a common thing to do, and doesn’t mean I was thinking about my ex. I wanna say that I DO NOT think about them and have blocked and deleted them from my life. In doing that however, I did begin to spend more time with my gay bestie who happens to have the same name as my ex and I happened to talk to on that day. I really believe it was a mistake and I thought he was trying to move past it but he keeps bringing it up.
   
4. He doesn’t like to be around me when I’m stressed. When I’m frustrated, I’m not angry at him or raise my voice at him or be passive aggressive, it’s more so internalised at myself. He was offering me advice this year and feels like because I didn’t stick to a schedule to complete my uni tasks, I was ignoring him. I work last minute, it’s how I have always worked and I get great result. Not to mention, in his final uni year he was the same as me. I dont really get this argument to be honest.
   

I also wanna note that he told me he wasn’t sure if this is the “real” me or if I was on my best behaviour at the start of the relationship. Everything was great at the start, but in my first week of uni my grandmother does, I then had to have surgery 2 months later to remove breast tumours (non cancerous), and I guess that and uni stress really caught up with me. He saw that I was doing better by going to the gym and feeling better about myself, but said that I snap back at times and don’t like myself. I think this is normal as some people have off days but I think he’s annoyed by it.
Also, at the start of our relationship he was really anxious about us, and I helped him through it. He was also stressed about jobs, and I had helped him prep and make a new cv as I’m good at that stuff and he got job offers. In fact at one point he said to me that he thought I was with him for money. I had more in savings than him at that point and paid for things/went 50/50. I am also lined up for a higher earning job than him when I’m out of uni.
We are on a break atm until my exams are over (20may). I genuinely don’t think these are things to waste 1 year over especially when I’m gonna be out of that stressed environment soon. He replied one night to my goodnight I love you saying “love you” but only replied x last night. Am I in the wrong here? I feel like an awful person but my parents say he doesn’t treat me nicely/fair and my friends said the only thing I did wrong was read his diary
TL;DR: my boyfriend has been acting very weird towards me recently and I asked him about it. He can’t stop thinking about the fact that I called him my exes name, he wants kids and I’m on the fence (I said no on my profile before we dated), he thinks we have arguments when we don’t (explained in post), and he said that my stress with uni exams isn’t nice to be around (I don’t raise my voice or be angry or be mean to him). I’ve helped him throughout the relationship when he was anxious about us, when he was stressed about getting jobs, and when he was having anxiety attacks. I’m not entirely the same as I was as my grandmother died this year, I had surgery to remove breast tumours, and uni stress has all caught up on me. I just think it’s my turn to be supported. I am going to therapy and the gym and starting to better myself but he hasn’t done anything like that. Am I the problem? What should I do?

Me (24F) and my boyfriend (26M) have been dating since 9 months. I am an old school, hopeless romantic kinda woman who writes poetry and stuff, doesn’t give up on love at all, till the last ounce of my breath. He was a F boy for 2 years straight because he lost his mother during COVID and he was trying to cope with it. But i gave him a chance to change and think maturely about relationships. We both are on the same page of having a sensible and serious relationship. But we have been going through a very rough patch lately. In the beginning 4-5 months he behaved very nicely and stuff, gave me time, was patient with me, validated my feelings (since i am over-thinker, so i need a lot of reassurance) but now the tables have turned. He asked me to support him since he was struggling financially and I agreed with him but as soon as i agreed with him, he started unpacking his stress baggage, talking to me rudely, behaving very differently, doesn’t even caring about me (even i am crying or i am ill or even at the hospital), blaming everything on me (for example if he fails to work because of his laziness or lack of attention he will blame it on me that i wasn’t able to work because you said me this and my all the attention goes there and my mind switches off itself and couldn’t work), stopped talking about the relationship and started saying me to handle everything, if i say something like i have been feeling the distance between us or just some general feelings of mine, he will start shouting and creates a fight, even though i apologise like 100 times, started treating me very badly (for example, yesterday I was waiting and roaming around the city for 7 hours in almost peak summers just to spend 1 hour with him so that we can sit and talk about us, i ate nothing and i told him that, he didn’t asked or cared to ask where i was or did i ate something instead just said sorry he was busy in work and couldn’t made it on time, i still understood his situation and greeted him by hugging him. And then as i started talking about our relationship and all the problems we are facing nowadays (honestly was on the verge of breaking up and it was a serious conversation) and he was still busy on the phone checking about the damn cricket match) And at the end still blamed me that he asked me to support him during this stressful time but he couldn’t see any support from my side. If i text him less thinking he might be busy, then also he will blame me that i don’t care about him, if i check up on him and send texts and still will get blamed that he couldn’t work because of me, while he says harsh and ruthless things to me but i endure all most of the times, thinking he might be stressed but it hurts me as well as i am a human being as well, so i bring those things up to him and still he blames me that i fight with him.
I mean i don’t know what he wants and when i ask him how do you want me to support you, he says i don’t know you should figure out yourself as you love me.
Can anyone help me what should i do? :(

had been listening medium loud music for like 4-5h and wanted to turn it down but feel my hair moving in front of it, i check over the glass and that shit was like a charged balloon, i kept the music on, 5 mins later i slap the broken dangling ceiling lamp lightly (hasnt been turned off for at least 1months and is bout 1m back looking at the amp) aaaand get zapped, but nothing serious just a normal tiny discharge, i then went to the break box right away and turned my room off, i then look at all connections to speakers, all clean, only the subwoofer had maaad thick cat hair on em making good contact to + and -.. now 7 hours later doing research i still dont know wtf happened and the thing still playing magnet so yall help me pls.. :c

say the lamp had the positive wire not connected n touching something its not supposed to, it wouldn't just keep charging up the air right? And the zap? Was that just what i had in me from holding my hand over the amp? And why tf did the amp charge up when this shit supposed to go into the woofer? Actually some cat hair??????? Ma Bad for the long text...