Riverdale steak house

I currently (40M) had my ex (35F) completely destroy our relationship while I was working out of town for a few months. This happened a year ago and wish I had these stories as a resource while going through it. I have just started to use Reddit and been reading the experiences of others here and have decided to share my story in hopes it will maybe help others. That way some good may come from some of the worst times of my life.
A little backstory for context for the story and insight to some of the decisions I made. When I turned 30 I left the major city in my Province (it is like a state if you are an American) because buying just a simple house is over a million dollars and I don't make near enough to afford that. My goal was to move to somewhere more rural to buy a house, meet someone, get married and have a child or two. It was my only dream I had and believed I could attain it. I lived out in the bush on my step dads property in a run down trailer I bought so I could save money for the first 3 years. I had my dog but the loneliness of living in the middle of nowhere had got to me. By then I had saved a fair amount of money, so I decided to move into the town. It was nice, it cut my commute down by 40 minutes, I had started to make a few friends and no longer felt so isolated. It was through my friends I met my future ex. Let's call her Kali. She had a long term boyfriend when we first met. Their relationship ended a couple of years after meeting her and we started dating a few months after.
We mostly had a great relationship for the next 4 years. The only thing was it was on again off again. She would dump me after I did anything really special for her for a week and beg me to take her back. It was like clockwork. I used to think it was because of her depression and that she didn't believe she deserved to be truly happy. Nowadays I actually think she might have been cheating the whole time and just felt guilty about it when I did nice stuff for her but I will never know the truth. I don't care what the reality is anymore anyway, Time has a funny way of making stuff like that irrelevant. We did have one bigger break of about 5 months. When it happened I took time off work to travel in my RV the whole time. From spring to summer. I really didn't like the town I lived in and decided to use that time to check out the rest of my Provence to figure out where I wanted to restart my life. She was basically the only reason I stayed for so long. I did have a decent job and family close by but most people I met there were not good people. Lots of drug users, liars, and general scumbags. I had only a few real friends there. After I got back and had decided where I was going to move to she had decided she wanted me back. She begged me to stay and be with her. She told me that she wanted to get serious. We started making real progress about getting married, having kids and looking at buying a house. Everything was coming up Milhouse and I couldn't be happier. So You can probably guess this is when my tale becomes interesting for you and life got real bad for me.
My career is seasonal. I work from spring to the end of fall and can go on unemployment insurance or find work. My dad had asked if I could help on his farm breeding horses that winter when I had still planned to leave my town. I had promised him that I would because it would give me a place to stay before people in my field of work would be looking for employees. This had been agreed upon before me and Kali had got back together. Now I have always been a man of my word. It's something I take great pride in. I have always hated liars. I don't mind a little embellishment to make a story more fun or if two people's stories are different as long as they both believe that was how the events happened. Everyone remembers things slightly off. She was upset that I had intended to keep my word to my dad but I had every second weekend off. The town my dad is in was only a 2 hour drive. So I told her I would be back twice monthly for weekends and that it would only be for 4 months. For the first two months everything seemed fine. During this time I started to look at rings to pop the question and booked an expensive spa for two days in May to propose. There was only one weird thing that happened during the first two months. On one of my visits she confided in me that her brother's wife had cheated on him and that their newborn baby was most likely not his. I was shocked that she not only knew but didn't plan to tell him. She said she didn't want to tell him for fear of breaking up the family. I told her that he has the right to know and that she was being a bad sister by knowing and not telling him. I also informed her if he found out she knew and didn't say anything that he would most likely kick her out of his life. She made me swear I wouldn't tell him. Even though I thought it was wrong I did agree to not say anything. It did get me wondering how she could not only not tell him but stay friends with someone that could do that to her brother. I think that's when I started to question her morals. The third month she asked that I didn't come out because she was "sick". I told her I didn't care, I could still come out and take care of her. She convinced me that she didn't want me to come so I just worked on the farm instead. I switched weekends so I could come out the next instead of in two weekends. The weekend she was "sick" her phone was off the whole time, lasting into the week. She told me her phone went through the washing machine. She was actually on a bender but I didn't learn that till later.
So I head out the following weekend. As soon as I arrive I start getting super sketchy vibes. I was already weirded out about the stuff with her brother and ghosting me for 4 days as we talked/texted multiple times a day normally. At first she acts great to me, cooks me steak and we go out to the bush to have a fire in the snow. At the fire she really started drinking heavily. She then mentions a guy she had been hanging with lets call him Brad. So alarm bells start going through my head. We go back to her house and she keeps drinking. I wanted to keep a clear head so I only had three beers all evening. She put her phone down unlocked because of how drunk she was and I took it to the bathroom with me to look up texts between them. I felt so guilty for doing it at first but once I see the text between the two of them the guilt is replaced with rage. I go to her room to confront her and she breaks down. First, how dare I go through her phone, this never would have happened if I would have broken my promise to my dad, nothing really happened between them, blah, blah, blah. I was furious and drove off. She blows up my phone the whole time. I don't answer. Ten minutes after I left her mother called me. She lives at her moms house. I took the call and her mom said she is freaking out and has harmed herself. I decide to go back and she has a bandage wrapped around her arm. Her mom hid all the sharp objects she could find. She was having a full on panic attack and begs me to not leave. I told her I would stay if she told me the truth. She admits to hooking up with him one time just that last weekend when she asked me not to come out. It kind of matches the messages and I believe her. I stay there till she falls asleep. Once she does I send Brad a text saying that she has a boyfriend with some screen shots of our conversations me and her have had that week. I was about to drive back to the farm when the dude called her phone. I pick up the call and tell him I am her boyfriend. He asks if that was a joke and I assure him it is not. He said he didn't know and actually apologized. I tell him that I'm pissed but if he didn't know I couldn't blame him. I should have asked him more questions but I was tired, not thinking straight and just wanted to go back to the Farm even though it was two am by this point. I get home and crash. Turned my ringer off because I know once she wakes up she will start calling like crazy. After getting the horses in for the night I decided to look at my phone for the first time all day. Around thirty missed calls and a ton of texts. I decide I need another day before I talk to her. Now while the whole day all I can think about is that it was just one time, she seems to be genuinely remorseful about it, how I'm 39 and really want children before I get too old. I took a call from her the next day on Sunday in the morning. She is still wasted. She hadn't stopped drinking since I was there Friday. We talk and I tell her that I am really upset but am willing to give us another chance. I still was in love with her and wanted to have kids, get married and buy a house with her. It was the dream I felt I worked so hard for. She was so happy I took her back and swore to me nothing like this would ever happen again. Basically I was a fool lol.
So I decided on my next set of days off to borrow my stepdads summer home on the river so we can have the place to ourselves. I grab food that she loves so I can cook her dinner and try to make it very romantic. I want to rekindle my love with her so I wanted to go all out on an amazing weekend. I pick her up and she is already a little drunk. I kind of wanted to hang sober but I don't wanna mess up with her so don't say anything thinking we can do a sober day when I take her out to go shopping and dinner the next day. When we get there she gets hammered. Kali had brought a big of bottle fireball on top of a bunch of white claws. I again didn't really drink that night. Once she was drunk and tired I carried her to the bed. As Kali is in my arms she looks up at me and says in slurred words "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Joe" I ask "what did you just say?". "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Brad" she replied. I put her to bed and my mind starts racing. Now her ex before me has a really close name to the one she said first but I also know she has a friend named Joe I only met a couple of times. They were not close or even hung out but were more like acquaintances. I go in her purse to look at her phone again but the battery is dead and I can't find her charger. I have an Iphone so I can't charge it up to look. I didn't sleep that well that night with everything going on in my head. I woke up at 6 am to her being very loud on the phone. I went out to the living room and she had drank all the booze left over from the night before. I ask her who she was on the phone with and she tells me an uber to leave. I ask why is she going to leave? Kali tells me she is upset that I tried to get into her phone. Guess I didn't put it back in her purse. Must have been out of sorts and forgot. I tell her I can drive her once I go to the washroom and get some clothes on. I go to do that, come out of the washroom to see Kali has already left. She was so drunk that she had left half her stuff behind. I decided to have breakfast before bringing her stuff to her house. After breakfast I packed her stuff into my SUV and noticed it had snowed that night. I could see her footprints out into the driveway. While Dropping off her stuff I noticed there were no footprints leading to her house, so I tried calling Kali. No answer. I left her stuff in the snow and decided to drive by her brothers and sisters house to see if there were footprints going into any of their houses but there were none. I sent her a nasty text about knowing she didn't go home, to go be with Brad or Joe or whoever and never call me again. It was a lot more profane than that but that's the gist of it. Cleaned up the house my stepdad lent me and back off to the farm yet again. The next day she blows up my phone and again I wait another day to talk to her. She tells me that she went home but I know that can't be true from the snow, but she says I must have been mistaken. She apologizes for getting drunk and leavening and that she is going to stop drinking after her birthday in two weeks. She has rented a hotel in the town I'm in for her birthday and wants to spend it with me. I agree just because I have to know the truth and want to look at her phone to make sure I am not crazy. She had gaslit me to the point I was questioning what I saw with my own eyes. A couple of days later I decided to send Joe a message on Facebook to see if he would give me the truth. I get a text from her telling me not to bug her friend and that she is embarrassed. I apologize and tell her I am excited about her birthday soon.
The weekend of her birthday comes so I go to meet her at the hotel. She brought her sister and other friend along. It actually is a really fun time. The girls did coke the first night into the second evening. I don't really like it but I figured she can let loose especially if she is going to stop drinking after her birthday. I also knew by Saturday night that they would all crash hard so it would give me time to look at her phone so I could know the truth. As I mentioned the weekend was really fun so I felt bad about going into her phone yet again. I did it anyway and my whole world came crashing down. Now I figured that I would maybe see Brad or Joe texts and Facebook messages. Seemed like Brad was done but Joe and her were totally hooking up. I also found out that she had slept with 3 other guys. I also saw she was using coke all the time now. She did it maybe three times a year when we dated but now it was every weekend. It looked like she started using regularly right before I left for the farm. Joe helped get it for her too, out of all the guys he was the one she hung with the most. Turns out he was also a meth head who was trying to quit for her. She also went to his house the morning she left the other weekend to hook up and buy coke. I was floored. I just staired and took screen shots till the early morning. I decided I wasn't just going to dump her but I wanted to ruin her life not realizing she was already doing that all by herself but hindsight is 20 20. So I started coming up with a plan of what I was going to do. I woke up the next morning and acted like everything was fine and went back to the farm. I was still so upset and didn't want to harm myself or others so had a family friend take my firearms for a while. I don't think I would have used them on myself or others but I knew I wasn't thinking clearly and didn't want them in my house while I was like that.
I didn't have to see her till I moved back because the next set I had off I had tickets for a concert in the city I used to live in. During that time all I thought about was how I was going to do something to ruin her life. I came up with some small things but my main plan was to pretend like we were fine and ghost her when my contract was up with my boss next winter. I had promised him another year after kali and I had gotten back together. Just typing it out makes me look back and cringe that I was so crazy. When I went to the city for the concert I told my best friend, my brother and a few others my plan. No one liked it and thought I should just go no contact, cut her straight out of my life. That probably was the smart thing to do but emotion was clouding my judgement. Also you all would get this story. They even informed me that because I would be lying to her, that I would be compromising my morals and turning into a worse person they didn't recognize. I either didn't see it that way or care. I have a hard time recalling what my brain was thinking during that time. All seems like a haze now that it's been a year. I think I was really upset that my dream and all I had worked for was ruined. A friend later said I may have been in love with the dream and not her. Maybe that's the reason I kept up all this insanity.
My time on the farm had come to an end and I was moving back to the town me and my ex lived in. I was set with my plan, excited to implement it and have what I considered just. But you know what they say of the best laid plans. My ex wanted to go to hang at her brothers as a welcome home party. I went but ended up drinking. Heavily drinking, to the point of black out. I don't remember much from that night but have had it recounted for me. I woke up in the drunk tank. Guess I couldn't lie and play it cool then huh? The story I was told later is, while at her brothers I had gotten drunk and loud. Kept waking up the new baby and we were asked to leave. So we caught a cab and I confronted her in the cab but all I could do was call her a lying, cheating, whore on repeat. She got upset and ran into the house locking me out. I had a bunch of my stuff in her house so I went to the door and demanded she let me in. All the while still only referring to her as the aforementioned 3 words. She told me to leave but my jacket and wallet were inside. It was below freezing at night still and probably wouldn't have made it home in the state I was in. I then kicked in her door to keep calling her LCW and grab my stuff. She was on the phone to the police, so I was taken away by them. One of the lowest points in my life. It still brings me so much shame to this day but it is what happened and I am not going to sugar coat it. I never laid a finger on her and I am so happy that I hadn't. Laying hands on women in that way is one of the scummiest things a man can do. I had to go back to her house once they let me out because my stuff was still there. I apologized to her mom who had been at her boyfriends that evening promising to repair the door for her. Kali begged me to talk to her and like an idiot I didn't just leave. I told her I saw everything and she only admitted to Brad and Joe. Lying about them and the others the whole time. Even when I brought up the screen shots she still couldn't come clean. I left just shaking my head. There is still a ton to this story but this is long enough. I could do a part 2 if there is interest. Catching you folks up to where I am now and the messed up things that happened in between.

Hi there, I had a dream about fighting my dad. It begun as we were driving somewhere, me, my dad, mom and sister. My dad then said to my mom to buy him something and I just went nuts on him verbally, after which we fought. We then teleported to our house and I locked him out, after which he appeared in the kitchen with everyone saying it's okay and they made up, so I picked a knife and got it into his throat but he was immortal and wanted to slice me with a steak knife.

About a week ago my mother (75 years old) called me up and asked if I would go to The Rolling Stones concert in Vegas with her. She had bought two tickets, her and my father and she told me she wanted to attend but that my dad wasn’t feeling very well. He is on oxygen when he is at home. He has COPD, a lung disease, and cannot get around much. Since it was a chance to hang with my mom a day before Mother’s Day and see the Stones I said heck yeah!!
I had already mentioned to my wife that on Mother’s Day when I return, we should grill some steak and scallops and lounge out a bit… play it by ear. My wife mentioned that grilling probably wasn’t a great idea and that the oldest of our two kids, our daughter, would be heading to Europe about an hour after we return home from Vegas the day after the concert (Sunday the 12th).
Our youngest (18 years old son) accompanied me to Vegas to stay at the relatives while my mother and I went to the Stones concert.
The next morning, Mothers Day, I woke up at my parents house, texted my wife Happy Mothers Day before even jumping out of the covers. We had a family church obligation to attend to until about noon before traveling back home to see my daughter off to the airport to Europe.
Here is where the drama begins. With all the hubbub of the concert the night before, the relatives and grandma being around, my son doesn’t text or call my wife (his mom) HMD that morning. I didn’t get a text back immediately from my wife when I texted her at about 8 am, HMD… I figured I’d let her sleep in if that’s what she wanted to do. My son and I do our church thing, my wife finally responds to my text saying that they are packing and repacking for my daughters Europe trip and that they want the packing job to be right. When we finally get home late in the afternoon, I give her the present that I bought my wife (her favorite perfume that she is nearly out of) and my son gives her his present… (a note and a Pink Yeti mug I had actually bought my wife a week ago that I hadn’t given her yet, just in case one of the kids hadn’t gotten her a gift for Mother’s Day).
Side note… My wife is very big on gifts. She is a great gift giver and anticipates good gift receiving.
When I walked in home from traveling I could also smell that she was cooking something, and there was a salad on the table. I figured she planned something she wanted to have for dinner, since I had been with my own mother since the day before and she, my wife had been with our daughter having a fun girls time, watching movies, getting a mani/pedi, having pho… THIS WAS NOT THE CASE. I got the evil eye right away. She started talking snarky to me, saying snide remarks which in turn, much to my chagrin I returned the remarks. It’s been tit for tat for the last 24 hours. She said her Mother’s Day was ruined and that it was my fault. That I should have planned the day for her. The blame is all in my court.
Ugh… I feel like every birthday, anniversary, Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Christmas… whatever day that retail America says I’m obligated to spend money to buy gifts… I’m not doing a good enough job. My wife buys our kids presents for Easter for hells sake. It’s too much. I don’t want anymore of it. Keep all the stupid gifts. It’s just the act of buying a thing and giving it. Its ridiculous.
Also… Am I supposed to be doting all over my wife on Mother’s Day with palm leaves and figs? If I am, I am. I just don’t see husbands doing all the work. I see kids…. Kids rubbing their moms back and making coupons for dishwashing and various chores. Kids taking care of moms and telling them what a great job they do raising them. In the arguments up to now, she is treating me like I am responsible for her Mother’s Day happiness and pointing at me saying she didn’t get what she wanted and that she didn’t have a good time. I can see how the husbands job is to orchestrate what the kids do for the moms but if I am wrong, I am wrong.
She is a great mom and I tell her that constantly. She knows I know that. I value her. My wife and I have a great relationship 99% of the time but this silly.

I have a 5 yr old GSD/mallinois mix. He was a rescue and about a year old when we first got him. We got him right shortly before COVID lockdown and I freely admit that he is more dog than I should have tackled. I had GSDs before and he was presented as “GSD mix”, the mallinois part was highly downplayed. We are backpacking/hiking people and would regularly put on 20 miles in a weekend and it was hard for me to imagine we wouldnt be “enough” for a dog. The first two years were literally blood, sweat and tears and almost ended in my divorce. He was a nightmare on a leash and reactive to EVERYTHING. He was also bitey and would never settle in the house, running from window to window barking at everything. We live in the middle of the northwoods, 45 min from anything and there is plenty to bark at. At the time, my husband worked from home and wouldnt kennel him or cover the windows when Strider couldnt be supervised. We spent $3,000 putting in a fenced area that really isnt big enough but is all we could afford. I worked with a few different trainers and each helped in their own way. I could barely walk him for more than 30 min at first because we would both get frustrated trying to teach him not to pull. It was even more frustrating because the outdoors is my stress relief and I felt like I had lost my outlet. He wouldnt even sit down outside for the first year. Long story short (sort of) -5 yrs later I love my dog endlessly but it breaks my heart that I dont think he will ever be off leash. I have taught him to ignore small animals, other dogs, bikes, you name it. But deer are going to kill me. I have trained wait and leave it. At a dog park, he rarely leaves my sight and always comes back to find me (but nearest dog park is an hr away) I can put a piece of ham in front of his nose and leave the room and he will not touch it until i come back. He sits for meals and to go out any door. I taught the “place” command and he will go to his bed and stay (although he will protest alot if he feels he is missing something. I taught him “gentle” and can get him completely tearing around the house and he will drop when I say “down”. I have actually gotten him to the point most of the time that if there is a deer, I say SIT NOW and he will. Then I yell jackpot and he comes back for treats scattered on ground. But deer are non stop here. Most mornings, I walk out the door and there is at least one in the yard. “Neutral” training ground s hard to find. He is more food motivated than he used to be (a steak wouldnt have distracted from a deer for first two years) but he really isnt that big on toys. Plays for about 5 minutes and gets bired - tug, flirt poles, balls, you name it. He has gotten away from me on a long lead because even watching him so close, he has taken off like a shot with no warning, He also intermittently wants to chase large trucks. He gets at least two hours of walks weekdays and generally about three on weekends plus 30 min yard romp and meals out of puzzle toys. I tried bike jouring but he almost killed me. We are at a point that I am thinking of trying it again. I work at home and he does happily sleep most of the time if there are no trucks or deer around. i just want so bad for him to have the best possible life and I often feel that he would have been better off with someone who could have given him better training, Im sorry this is so long and rambling but any thoughts on what i can do with him for more stimulation or work safely towards off leash in my environment would be awesome.

Heading into LR for a night soon and was hoping for some suggestions for a good steakhouse and cocktail place? (Can be different places!)
Preferably maybe $50ish/pp on the steak house. Thanks!

I love restaurants. I love going to them alone with a book, I love going with friends or with family. I love to enjoy the food, the seating, the ambiance, the decor, the whole thing. And I love the classic kind of diner, a place that I see very, very rarely these days. And while I don't have the skills or food knowledge or drive to take the risk of opening my own restaurant, if I were rich and therefore could surround myself with people who knew what they were doing and not have to worry about losing money I'd put a lot of effort into making just such an establishment.
I'd design the place so all the seats were comfortable. You could sit at the booths/tables/counter for a long time and your butt wouldn't get sore. Tables and booths would be spaced out so you were somewhat spread out from neighboring tables. Each one would have those glass ketchup bottles. Not a single TV in the establishment, or at the very least if it was it would be purely for background noise and NEVER play the news. No alcohol would be served, not even beer bottles, to avoid rowdy and cussing clientele.
Menu would be simple, but made with good ingredients. For example, for cheese we'd go Havarti, not craft packaged slices.
Items:
Pancakes
Waffles
Eggs Benedict
Bacon
Burgers (veggie option)
Chicken fingers
Chicken Wings
Chili (veggie option)
Steak
Shepherd's Pie
Ribs
Fish n'Chips
Fries
Onion rings
Mashed/baked potatos
Simple but decent salads
Steamed veggies
Rice
In house made pie
Ice cream
In house made brownies
Milkshakes
And since I was rich I wouldn't care about making a profit. Prices would be laid out to pay staff a decent wage and restaurant upkeep, that's it. The desire being to make a place where families who usually can't afford to go out to eat can do this a little more often, taking the pressure off of the parents to always have to cook.
This will never happen but I wanted to share my day dream while I'm on my work break.
Edit: I would also have a 'bar,' meaning a counter with bar seats, but it would only be for serving ice cream and things like root beer, soda floats, etc.

To start things off, I was always aware of our age gap and problems it may cause in our relationship.
My husband and I didn't meet until I was well into being eighteen, and he was twenty-eight. It didn't bother me much, as he doesn't act much older than me and I'd always felt older than I was due to having a ton of younger siblings, step siblings, and foster kids in and out of my mother's house growing up.
We got engaged when I was nineteen at a yungblood concert, and we originally planned to wait to marry until I was at least twenty. Plans changed when I decided to go into the air force, and we had to push up the wedding in order for him to eventually stay with me on base after basic training.
Fast forward a few months after we were married and I had left for Texas for training, I was injured during PT training and sent home. It was during the craziest parts of covid, so everything was on lockdown and they had strict rules about not keeping anyone on base for a long period of time if injured. I was medically discharged and sent home to heal and have potential surgery.
At the time, my husband was staying with his friend in the city we planned to move to. We already put down a deposit on an apartment when we found out I was going home, but due to Covid restrictions and eviction restrictions, it was returned to us and we were told we could no longer move in.
The first issue I was seeing when I got home was his disattention to me. I was gone for over a month and missed celebrating my twentieth birthday with anyone but the girls in medhold with me, so I was looking forward to spending quality time with my husband.
We went out to eat with his friend, his friend's girlfriend, and one of her friends. I felt like a fifth wheel during the meal, as I was sat at the end of the table instead of being at my husband's side where her friend was sitting. Most of the conversations didn't include me, and I ended up going back to his friend's place feeling let down.
The rest of the time we were staying with his friend, they wanted all of us to go mountain climbing, cliff jumping, and trekking through the woods as they lived in a nature-centered part of the area. (Keep in mind, I was just sent home for being injured, and I had both a knee and ankle brace on my right leg that prevented much movement other than some hobbled walking that was slower than a normal pace).
When I expressed that I wasn't comfortable doing those things and that I wouldn't be jumping thirty feet into a freezing lake when I could barely walk as it is, my husband got upset with me and eventually just left me there alone while they all went to hang out together.
Flash forward four years, it is now 2024 and we have a two-year-old toddler. I didn't end up getting surgery, and I spent nine months being sicker than I'd ever been in my life.
It was a really rough pregnancy for me, and I'd ended up in the hospital multiple times because I couldn't even smell food or step foot into our kitchen without throwing up.
That all went on until the beginning of my third trimester. We decided to travel back to his friend's place, and I was somehow roped into climbing cliffs, wading through treacherous water to climb another cliff on an island out in the middle of a lake, and sleep at the top of sand dunes in a tent on the ground a couple weeks before my due date.
I was then on antibiotics during birth, because my water broke and the hospital sent me home instead of keeping me. My son was born sick, and transferred to a children's hospital to be treated and receive a spinal tap. I ended up sleeping a week in a hard hospital chair in a leaking basement of the hospital because they didn't have enough space for us.
After we were home and everything was settled, my husband would brag about how difficult the whole situation was for him. He had to sleep on a futon during my labour, and he had to have food doordashed to the hospital because, due to covid restrictions, noone else was allowed in with us and he wasn't allowed to leave to get anything.
He ended up having steak, potatoes, and these other elaborate meals delivered to eat in front of me while I wasn't allowed to eat anything until the baby came out. He even thought about bringing his playstation into the hospital room, but I shut that down quickly.
The first year of my son's life, I went back and forth between staying home with him and working in the factory my husband currently works at while my grandma watched our son.
I won't get into too much detail, but at one point when my grandma moved back out of state (she lives in her camper and was only there for the summer), I had to switch to the afternoon shift.
There is a factory supervisor on that shift that is a male and close to my husband's age. Other than the other person in my same position and two maintenance workers, they only had migrant workers that didn't speak english. This limited the people I could talk to while working my twelve hour shifts (husband worked 3:30 am to 3:30 pm and I would work 3:30 pm to 3:30 am).
My husband got very jealous and territorial at this time. He would expect me to return nearly thirty minutes late from all my breaks, threaten to go up there if anyone told me I couldn't do that, and even punched a hole in the wall when I told him I had to get back to work.
Up until that point, my husband had shown no signs of aggression toward me.
Somehow, a rumour started to spread around the factory that I was sleeping with the production lead. This definitely wasn't true as a) how and where would I have done that? and b) I loved my husband and would have never done something like that.
My husband heard about it, and came home to confront me. He got in my face, screaming and calling me a cheater. He threatened to take our son and move back in with his mom without even letting me offer an explanation or defend myself.
To this day, it still bothers me that he is still so convinced that I cheated on him and that he has no trust in me whatsoever to not do something like that.
I ended up leaving that job and working at mcdonalds for a little while. I had worked there in high school, so it wasn't a big adjustment.
I only ended up staying there a few months to help us catch up on bills before we agreed it would be better for me to stay home with our son for a while.
Our son is two now, and it seems like our relationship has only become more strained. We used to be able to communicate most of our smaller issues and come up with ways to maneuver whatever issues we had. However, in June of last year, my husband's friend that we were staying with in the beginning moved across the state to be near us.
It was all fine and good in the beginning. He had proposed to his girlfriend, and they even asked the both of us to be in their wedding that has yet to happen.
However, once they got engaged, he'd began acting very sexist. Even though both he and his fiance work full time (he works down the road at the factory with my fiance, and she works forty minutes away at a hardware store and has to drive a long way at three in the morning to get there), he expects her to come home and clean up after him, also cook his meals before she goes to bed early to get up really early in the morning for work the next day.
My husband, now hanging out with him more often, started having some of these things wearing off on him.
At first, it wasn't a big deal and I brushed it off. However, I'd gotten a job as a property manager for an apartment complex and also work now. Instead of things changing to adapt our new lifestyle, my husband expects me to continue keeping up with all the chores and cooking.
He'd made a comment that, because he feeds our dogs, he expects me just to do everything that involves our toddler from feeding him, to changing his butt, to putting him to bed at night. It's like pulling teeth sometimes to get him to change his butt or even get pants on him.
We'd gotten into an argument over this, and I told him that it wasn't fair that he expected me to do everything. His response was that he made more money and worked more hours, so it was only fair that I covered everything else.
Sure, I don't work as much or make as much money, and my paychecks mainly cover our son's daycare and our car payments, but I feel like working doesn't excuse him from helping with the son we both decided to have.
It's gotten to the point where I told my husband that if any sexist remark is made, like I should be in the kitchen helping get dinner ready whenever we're at his friend's house, I will be leaving and going back home, and I won't be going back until it is resolved.
The friend's fiance and I have had private conversations about this, and we both agree that it has gotten out of hand, and we both believe they are feeding off each other as they'd never been that bad before.
Everything has only seemed to get worse from there.
We decided to go as a group, along with my brother and his girlfriend, to the draft in Detroit this year.
The whole point was to see players get drafted in person, and we'd managed to get into the crowd in front of the stage before the area was shut down and they weren't allowing anyone else in.
My brother is an avid football fan. He played in high school, and was even offered multiple scholarships to play in college. This was a once in a lifetime experience for the both of us.
At one point, my husband and his friend decided that they would rather stand at one of the screens out of the crowd and watch it instead of trying to get into the sea of people to see it live.
I was frustrated, and expressed that if we wanted to watch it on television that we should have just stayed home. After a heated argument, I thought we'd come to the agreement that we'd go back to the stage and watch it there.
My brother lead us through the crowd, and at the beginning my husband and his friend were following us. Somehow, we'd gotten separated and when I looked back once we found a spot to stand, they were gone.
My phone rang in my pocket, and when I picked it up it was my husband calling. As soon as I picked it up, he proceeded to scream at me for disappearing and called me a "stupid bitch" when I tried to explain that I thought they were following us.
He hung up, and I told my brother I was going to go look for them alone. I spent a good twenty minutes wandering the area that was barricaded, but they were nowhere to be found. I no longer had signal to get ahold of him, so I ended up just going back and watching the beginning of the draft with my brother.
By the eighth pick, texts started to come in from my husband. He had informed me that they all left, leaving the three of us alone. Luckily, I'd driven separate as I left work early to get there.
By that point, I was done with him. I felt disrespected and that hanging out with his friend was more important than making sure his wife was okay or even with him. After all, I was wandering downtown Detroit alone when it was starting to get dark out.
When the three of us inevitably got back to the car, I got ahold of my husband just to let him know we were on our way home. He tried to apologise and ask how everything was, but I was too exhausted and mad at him to try and hold a conversation. He was asleep by the time I got home, and I ended up sleeping in our spare bedroom on a futon.
The next day, my husband tried to act like nothing happened. When I expressed that I felt ignored and pretty much useless to him, he tried to play it off like his anger was warranted and completely ignored the fact that he was calling me names.
I told him that I was no longer going to any big events with him and his friend, and he just rolled his eyes like he didn't believe me.
A day later, I saw a message pop up on his phone from his friend. I guess he had told him what I said about not going anywhere anymore, and his friend said "women" with an eyeroll emoji and "she'll get over it eventually". I screenshotted these messages and sent them to myself, filing them away in a folder in my phone to keep for later.
I slept in our spare bedroom for a week after that.
After the draft, I've also kept notes in my phone with time and date stamps of all the times he went off on me since then. Whenever we get into arguments, my mind goes blank and I forget exact things like this so he likes to say it never happened if I can't remember it.
April 27th, we were sitting watching videos together on tiktok. When someone popular came on that he had been watching a lot recently, I exclaimed that I didn't understand how he got popular all of a sudden. He proceeded to get really agitated and yell at me for not understanding how the internet works. When I stood up to walk away because I was upset, this angered him more. He then expressed that my emotions were overrated and that he was sick of them.
May 2nd, I had gotten home from work and tried to show my husband an outdoor jungle gym on amazon that I thought would be cool to get our son. He claimed it was a waste of money and that we should just take him to the park. When I tried to explain that it was a better idea to get something like this, as realistically we wouldn't take him to the park every day, he freaked out and asked what was wrong with me. He then said "oh my god" when I tried to explain that it would be easier to watch him outside while getting stuff done around the house and decided to just go to bed without dinner and end the conversation completely.
May 5th, we went with his friend and fiance to a cinco de may party in the city. He was drinking most of the day, and on the way home he wanted us to stop some place and get ice cream. When he got out of the car, he hit it against the car next to us. When I told him he'd hit the car, he proceeded to yell at me in the crowd that I was crazy and acting like my mother. He then kept trying to go to the woman in the car and ask if he had, in fact, hit her car. After, he said he was done with me and I was on my own, that I would have to start paying my own bills from now on.
There's been many other entries in my notes similar to this, and I feel like I'm at the end of what I can handle. Divorce has crossed my mind, but I had divorced parents growing up and know how hard it would be on my son. I also don't think I'm in a well off financial position to go out on my own with our son and still provide the things he needs.
I also worry that, if we were to separate, he would push to take our son from me as he'd threatened in the past to do so.
Any advice would be helpful, as I don't know what else to do. Even getting this all off my chest online makes me feel a little better, but there's still the lingering thought in the back of my mind that I'm unhappy and don't know how much longer I can put up with this.
Thank you.

Staying in downtown cancun near central Aldo bust stop, and had a craving for steak? Any recommendations? I was thinking Mr.Pampas, but after seeing the mixed reviews, I’m hesitant to go.

i don’t know if this is allowed here but i’m going over to my bf’s house to cook him dinner. he loves steak and roasted potatoes but i was advised a london broil is much easier. would it be faster to make steaks instead? i don’t want to spend hours waiting for a london broil to cook, id rather be able to throw it in a pan and make it

Posting here because I need help/advice. I 28f have been with my bf 27m for 5 years now. My bf has difficulty holding down jobs. He was always looking for something better which was fine. However last year he quit his job and took on drinking and taking edibles daily. It’s embarrassing to admit but I stayed thru it all. He used insta cart and doordash to make his monthly bills but it’s not enough. I’ll pitch I here and there to help with his car payment. I’ll break down in bullet points bc i don’t know how else to tell my story.
Holidays: For Christmas I bought his family gifts and had him say it was from both of us. I knew they were getting us gifts and I didn’t want to get something without giving them something?? None of my family knows how bad it is. I’m really close to them and I just brush things off. I lied and told them he finally found a job but he hasn’t. I didn’t get a Christmas gift. But I gave him money. He took me to a steak house for my birthday. Paid for it. Then asked I pay back for my meal bc he miscalculated and needed the money. He did buy me flowers for Valentine’s Day. I bought us an expensive dinner for his bday. I will admit I like a certain type of lifestyle even if I can’t afford it so I may overspend on things.
Addiction: Recently he lost his wallet which meant no Id which meant he couldn’t go to the dispensary or buy alcohol. He ended up finding his wallet but I offered to hold onto his id. It was going well but one day I left an expired id with him so he could buy a beer. I left and came back 24hrs later and he was drunk at 5pm. He gets overly emotional and depressed when he’s drunk and I don’t know what to do other than comfort him. Before I would say I was going to storm off or leave him and that would send him into a deeper spiral so now I nod and try to appease him.
Credit card debt: I’ve been swiping my card for food and drinks for both of us. He uses my car for DoorDash which means I pay for the gas. Before he quit his job (he had been unemployed for 3 months before his most recent job) he really wanted and oled tv and asked I put it on my card and he would pay me back. He made payments for the three months that he was employed then stopped. He ended up selling the tv it was $1,100 he kept the money to pay his bills and buy weed. I finished paying off the card myself. I’m in such a hole borrowing money in hopes I can cover my ass until the next paycheck. I got a part time job im starting soon which should help me a lot. I make a decent wage.
Financially irresponsible: we went on a trip to the casino (he was still employed at this time) I booked the hotel on my credit card. He ended up winning $5,000!!! The first night there. Want to guess what he did next??? He took copious amounts of edibles and blew $3,000 of it on more gambling. He won another $1,000 and also blew that. With the remainder he bought a pc AND I had to beg him to pay me for his half of the hotel room. He did pay for dinners and lunch while we stayed there.
Promises: he says he’ll pay me back. I’ve helped him make his car payments. I help him with food. He says things are going to change. He paints this really pretty picture that I so badly want to be true. But it’s MAY 2024. He quit his job June 2023. He promised me Christmas he promised me my birthday gifts. All which fell flat. And now I just feel like a fool. He says once he starts working he’ll pay me back.
I’ve been helping him apply to place none call him back. He also can’t pass a drug test currently.
Relationship: aside from the money I think we’re okay? We trust each other we love each other. When we’re together we’re always laughing and having a good time. We get along. On weekends we take turns on who gets to pick the movie. He’ll watch twilight and mean girls with me.
The only thing is when he is in withdrawal or hungover he becomes easily agitated and needs space to calm down. The worst he’s done is raise his voice and so do I. Normally he just needs to walk it off or blow off the steam and things get better. He’ll hyper fixate on something I did and call me out on it. I’ll apologize but he won’t let off of it when he gets like that there is nothing I can say to change things. In my mind if I did something wrong I get it I’m sorry but there’s nothing I can do to change it? But if he lies or does something he brushes it off and gets upset with me for being upset at his lying?! He’s a terrible texter and never answers his phone. If I needed immediate help I’d be out of luck. But I always have to be there for him. Let’s say he’s having a bad day he needs me there and wants me there. I have to drop everything and if I don’t he feels bad and guilt trips me.

M, 39, 69" tall started at 177lb currently 171lb after 10 days, although I'm guessing most of that was shit weight just working it's way out of my system, prob only like 2lbs down in reality.
I need to fit into my suit in 4 months and I'm trying to lose weight. I've started running 2 miles every morning and I only eat 1 small meal a day around 6pm.
My meal is meat (chicken or steak), potato baked no oil/butter or cream just seasoning. (Sometimes jasmine rice instead), veggies (broccoli, or corn, or mixed veg) at an average of 700-1000 calories for the whole meal.
According to my Fitbit I am expending about 3000 calories a day. So if I'm only eating like 1000 I should be in a 2k calorie deficit to drop express fat stored.
I drink diluted Gatorade as my only liquids. I mix 2 servings of powder Gatorade into a 1/2 gallon of water. I don't like the taste of plain water. And yes it's softened RO water doesn't get much more filtered than that.
I probably drink about 1/2-3/4 gallon a day of water.
I don't have a job because I'm retired so I just do tasks around the house, gardening, and watch TV most days.
Is this sustainable? Any advice on making this work better? I've never had a weight problem I have maintained 175lb for years so once I drop weight I'll be able to go back to my normal diet of eating whatever I want and just maintain around 155lb instead of 175lb

My wife wanted to have the family over and BBQ for mothers day. I'm not an idiot so I got her a couple pieces of jewelry aswel.
I did all the invites, yard work, trash, dog poop, most of the cleaning, and the grilling. Gave her her present in private because because that's what she prefers. I don't see my family very often so it was nice to drink beers with them. Anyways it all seemed to go fine. But at the end f the night my wife pulls me aside and tell me she is upset my mom had gotten her a big pot for a tree my mom had also given her. My wife is feeling pressure to take care of this tree (we really just leave it outside). I told her I'd be happy to talk to my mom about this tree not being for us, or I could accidentally drop some salt on it (half joking). She wanted me to take care of the tree but I refused since I've always advocated for having less plans (my house is full of plants my wife brings in, I gave up trying to fight that). My mom had also bought it a thing from Sephora.
She then mentions this Amazon list she had sent months ago and starts telling me I don't listed since I didn't get things from that list. I try to tell her to look at all the work I did to make this BBQ but I guess I forgot about the wish list from forever ago.
Anyways she tells me I'm inconsiderate, don't listed, and ruined her day and now won't talk to me. I'm currently sitting by myself feeding the baby while she sleeps. I'm feeling awful, should I go get a card and some flowers? I'm hoping that might turn things around a bit.
All I've asked for father's day is a nice steak for me to cook myself, a beer, a couple hours of peace, and no pictures for those couple hours. I know most everyone dgaf about father's day but I think I can get away with this.
EDIT: Tulips did the trick. Thank you all for anything said, it made me feel better.

So this weekend me and my family went to eat Texas road house for Mother’s Day. I ordered a salad with my steak, and in the salad was glass from a broken bowl. I chipped my tooth on piece and I think I swallowed a piece cause my throat has been hurting ever since I’m going to the med express after work today to find out and have made a dentist appointment. I told the manager and she filled out an incident report. The were so concerned about me eating glass so they didn’t charge me the 5$ for the salad and the waitress didn’t come back to the table after the incident either wasn’t that nice of them. Should I retain legal representation or no?

Link to original nosleep post:
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/1cq87q1/im_a_single_mom_i_never_knew_who_the_donor_was/
It all started when I got divorced at the age of thirty-nine, and was left with a choice.
Return to the dating "circuit," as my single girl friends would jokingly refer to it, and take my chances on finding a man ready to jump right into having a family, or explore alternative means of having a child... on my own.
"On my own." The very sound of it terrified me, but when I thought about starting a relationship all over again after ten long years of trying to salvage one, going it alone didn't sound so bad.
And so...
...The next day, I began looking into artificial insemination by way of an anonymous sperm donation.
...A week after that, I was at a fertility clinic, looking through a database containing profiles of potential anonymous donors and making arrangements for a procedure...
...A month after that, I was pregnant...
...And nine months after that, I was giving birth to my beautiful baby boy... David.
And while I didn't know who David's biological father was, it didn't matter. I was his mother. He was my son. And we were in it together.
That is, until almost seven years later, when I received a call from an unknown number, that would change my life forever.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Is this Mary Birch?" A man asked on the other line.
"Yes, this is she..." I replied, prepared to hang up at the earliest sign of spam risk.
"The same Mary Birch who received an artificial insemination from an anonymous sperm donor seven years ago tomorrow?"
Fuck. I thought to myself, assuming that after all these years, the anonymous donor himself had suddenly come looking for me... or worse... David.
"This is Ryan McDonald. I was a nurse at the fertility clinic where you chose your anonymous donor and underwent your procedure."
"Okay..." I replied, unsure of where he was going with it.
"Mary, I'm not sure exactly how to tell you this... but there's something you need to know about David."
"What?"
"And I need to tell you before tomorrow."
—
Later that night, I was sitting at a diner, texting David's babysitter his dietary restrictions, while at the same time researching where to rent a bouncy house for his seventh birthday the next day, when Ryan McDonald sat down in the booth across from me.
He didn't look familiar, but in my defense, it had been almost seven years, and it wasn't like I ever got to know any of the countless nurses I had met during the process.
"This is going to be difficult to hear..." Ryan began, before taking a deep breath. "But David isn't the only child conceived using his biological father's sperm."
"Fair enough. I always knew there was a chance that there were others out there." I replied, relieved to hear what I assumed was why he brought me there.
But my assumption was very wrong.
"Yeah but the thing is..." He added, before hesitating, and then leaning in to whisper to me. "The others... There's something very wrong with them."
"Oh, well I guess I lucked out then." I said defensively, "'Cause David is the most level headed child. I honestly couldn't have asked for a more well behaved kid."
"See that's the thing..." Ryan continued, "So were they... Until their seventh birthdays."
"Seventh birthdays? Well, what happened then?"
"They... turned."
"Turned into what?"
"Killers."
I stopped for a minute and went completely silent, as he looked at me sympathetically...
...Until I suddenly burst out laughing.
"Killers? That's a good one! Hold on." I called out, as I looked around the diner, "Where are the hidden cameras? You're pranking me, right?"
"I'm afraid not, Mary."
That's when he pulled out the newspaper clippings.
There were nine stories in total, about nine different children. Each one having either gone on a killing spree, or attempted to, just after turning seven years old. And, according to Ryan, each one a child of "The Donor," as he kept referring to him.
"David, from what we know, is the tenth, and final child." He concluded, as he put the clippings back in his pocket.
The whole thing was all so overdramatic, so far-fetched, and so disrespectful to both me and my son... that whatever amusement I was finding in it, had long faded away. Instead... it was actually starting to piss me off.
"If you'll excuse me, Mr. McDonald, I'd better be going. I'm afraid your joke has gone a little too far." I declared with a scowl, as I grabbed my purse and stormed away.
"Wait!" He called out. "We need to talk about "The Donor.""
But I'd already made up my mind.
—
By the time I got home, David was fast asleep in his bedroom, and the babysitter was anxiously waiting to leave. After handing her some cash and heading upstairs, I got ready for bed, and put on some reality TV, to help get my mind off the bizarre, and unsettling encounter at the diner.
But when the clock struck midnight, and it officially became David's seventh birthday, I couldn't help but be reminded of Ryan's warning.
"See that's the thing... So were they... Until their seventh birthdays."
"Don't worry about it. It's just a bunch of nonsense." I whispered to myself, as I pulled the comforter over my head, shut off the light, and turned in for the night.
But just as I was falling asleep, I was suddenly awoken by a strange noise emanating from the hallway, specifically David's bedroom.
Cracking the door and tiptoeing down the hall, I slowly approached it.
And as I got closer, and closer, and closer...
...The noise grew louder, and louder, and louder...
...Until I reached the door to David's room, and was able to hear the sound more clearly. It was a growling noise, accented by what sounded like howling and drooling.
Surely, Ryan was right, and there was, in fact, something wrong with David. I thought to myself, terrified by what might have come over him.
I stood there for a moment, frozen in place, not knowing what to do.
Until I eventually worked up the courage to grab the doorknob and fling open the door....
...Only to find David curled up in bed, watching a horror movie, its hero on the verge of being devoured by a zombie.
Phew. I thought to myself, realizing that the film was the source of the unsettling sounds that I'd heard. Before my relief turned to anger.
"David! What are you doing? It's way past your bedtime!"
"Sorry, mom!" My son replied, looking even more scared than the movie's main character, and than I had just been, as he scrambled to find the clicker and turn off the TV.
Then I remembered that it was David's birthday, and suddenly felt bad, so I decided to let him watch TV until the movie ended, under one condition. That he be on his best behavior at his birthday party the next day.
—
But despite our agreement, when David's seventh birthday party commenced in our backyard the next day, something came over him that I'd never seen before.
A strange irritability. A temper that, had I not seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believed he was capable of.
Seemingly out of nowhere, after showing his friend Bobby one of his birthday gifts, he suddenly snatched it back and yelled, "Give it back! It's not yours, it's mine!" Before shoving him to the ground.
"David!" I screamed, as Bobby's eyes welled up, and the other moms looked on in surprise. "That's enough! Now get inside and go to your room! Until I say otherwise!"
"But mom!" He cried back.
"I said go! Now!" I insisted.
But rather than continue to argue, his face suddenly turned blank and he simply walked back inside.
"Are you okay, Bobby?" I asked his friend, who had just picked himself up off the ground, and appeared to be fine, before turning to Bobby's mother, Roxy. "I am so sorry about that. I have no idea what's gotten into him."
But Roxy didn't say anything. She just stood there, silently, her mouth agape and her eyes wide in fear, as she looked over my shoulder.
I turned around...
...To find David, standing at the door to the backyard, holding a steak knife.
"David..." I began to scold him, but he had already come charging at me, as the rest of the party goers cried out in horror.
Now it's important to know why my husband had left so many years ago. Truth is, he had a terrible temper, and was prone to psychological and emotional abuse. He had never laid a finger on me, until one day, when, in the middle of a fight, he seemingly out of nowhere, picked up a kitchen knife and threatened to use it on me. Suffice to say, a month later, we had filed for divorce.
Which is why, in that moment, as my child held one of his own, repeating history, I simply...
...Froze...
...As he grew closer... and closer... and closer, raising his weapon in the air, ready to strike.
But before he was able to bring the knife down on me, suddenly a hand emerged out of nowhere and caught his arm, freezing his blade in midair, just an inch from my face.
And when I turned to investigate who had saved me from my child...
...I saw Ryan McDonald standing there, a look of sorrow in his eyes, as if to say, "Told ya so."
But all he said was, "We have to talk about "The Donor.""

Link to original nosleep post:
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/1b5iszd/my_wife_and_i_got_cast_in_a_reality_show_pilot/
I had just wrapped work on a Friday night, when my wife, Cara, first told me about the ad.
"I don't know how long I can work for this guy anymore." I said to her, closing my laptop for the weekend.
"Alan?" She replied.
"Yeah. He's such a prick. Everything's urgent, and everything's a fire drill. Until he doesn't care about it anymore."
"You know what you should do?"
"What?"
"Kick his ass."
"I wish. But you know full well that I don't have a threatening bone in my body. I'm a lover not a fighter." I said with a wink.
"Oh, that reminds me! Speaking of lovers." My wife said with a smile, pulling out her phone. "Look at this."
Taking the phone from her hand, I saw that she had saved a job posting.
"New Reality Series Seeks Married Couples For Chance To Win Once In A Lifetime Prize."
At first, I scoffed at it. Having been happily married for a few years now, and both of us gainfully employed, I was pretty confident that neither my wife nor I sought money or fame. We already had everything a couple could ever want.
"Why would we ever go on a reality show?" I asked.
"Keep reading," Cara replied, pointing to the bottom of the posting.
I did as she suggested.
"The winning couple will receive a once in a lifetime chance to work with one of the best fertility doctors in the world, to aid them in having a child."
Okay, maybe we didn't quite have everything a couple could want.
I looked at my wife. "Enticing, yes. But I mean, what are the chances we'd actually get cast?"
"Hey, you can't win if you don't play, right?" Cara replied, "And what other choice do we have?"
She had a point. We'd been trying to conceive for a few years, but no matter the approach, whether natural, IUI, or IVF, you name it, the outcome was always the same.
It was the one thing we didn't have. The one thing, save for surrogacy or adoption, that money couldn't buy...
...Having a child of our own.
And so...
...The next day, we reached out to the production company's nondescript email address...
...A couple days later, we heard back...
...And a week later, we found ourselves on a video call with a casting director, attempting to sell her on why they should choose us as one of the five couples competing in their pilot, and why we deserved the prize.
But my wife and I both left the meeting thinking we botched it, each of us walking away with the same feeling that one gets after a flubbed job interview.
And so, we both resolved to go back to our lives. Back to being realistic about the situation. And even started looking into some adoption agencies.
That is, until a week later, when Cara and I received an email from the production company...
...Informing us that we were selected to participate in the reality show pilot!
A few signed contracts, NDAs, and talent release forms later, and my wife and I were off on an all-expense paid trip to Los Angeles.
I remember pulling into the parking lot of the production studio that first day, and finding it a bit strange that a TV show would be filmed in such a rundown, dilapidated warehouse. But I knew nothing about production, and chalked it up to budgetary constraints. And, after all, we had already traveled too far, and there was too much on the line, to turn back now.
Upon entering the building's lobby, we were immediately welcomed in by the show's producer, Phil, whose warm greeting through his medical mask, quickly turned sour, "You're late! Literally the last couple to arrive! Hurry, hurry! Follow me! We're about to start!"
I thought it a bit rude, and noticed a concerned look wash over Cara's face. But then I remembered it was our fault, after all, that we underestimated LA traffic, so I bit my tongue.
Phil then confiscated both of our cell phones, before escorting us out of the lobby, down a long hallway, around a corner, and into a massive lounge, lit by professional lights, with five couches scattered about. Four of which were occupied by other couples, who were sitting there, patiently waiting, when we finally entered the room.
"So sorry!" I called out to them, while simultaneously waving "Hello," as I sat down in one of the loveseats.
"Thanks for your patience!" Cara added, as she took a seat beside me.
But our peers and competitors didn't even have a chance to react, as Phil suddenly ran into the room with a similarly masked production crew of about ten individuals, and got right down to business.
I thought it strange that they were all masked, assuming that covid regulations had long ended, but before I could dwell on the details too much, Phil yelled out, "Alright, places people! Sound!"
"Speed!" A few masked sound guys yelled back, as they hit record on their audio devices and aimed their boom microphones at the front of the room.
"Camera!" Phil continued.
"Speeding!" Several masked camera men replied, in unison, each carrying a broadcast camera on their shoulder.
"Slate!" Phil added, as a masked production assistant ran up to the front of the room, where there was a set of two doors on the far wall, and a door to the side that must have led offstage. He then opened his clapboard, for all of the cameras and microphones to see and hear.
I wondered why they hadn't filled out the section on the clapboard where the first take would go, but my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of it clapping.
CLAP!
Then Phil gestured to what must have been the director, who was hanging back in the shadows, his features hidden in the dark, outside of the set's bright lights.
"Action!" The director yelled out for all to hear.
And then...
...There was silence.
All of us couples looked at each other with a smile, literally on the edge of our seats, when suddenly, we heard the voice of a middle aged man ring out over the speakers that had been mounted to the ceiling of the lounge. "Ladies and gentlemen! Who's excited to make history?"
The cameras turned to the ten participants, including Cara and myself, and we all immediately started clapping and whistling, before they turned back to the man.
"I'm your anonymous host, four time husband, and five time divorcee!"
The group erupted in laughter, cheering him on, as they looked up at the speakers.
"And you know what? I'm not proud of that. Cause, much like you, deep down inside, I want to love and be loved. To have the fortitude, the patience, and the will to fight on through good times and bad, all in the name of love. Which is why I've brought you all here. Yes, you! Give yourselves a round of applause!" He said, before pausing to allow us all to react.
And so we did, all the couples clapping and smiling.
"Yes, I'm here, hosting and watching remotely, to learn from the five happily married couples before us, what the secret is to persevering through the challenges that life throws our way. To see what ends you'll all go to in support of your marriage, and if you'll do... anything for love. Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome... to Anything For Love."
Everyone let out a nervous laugh, but kept applauding anyway.
"And now... it's time for the rules. In this reality competition, the first of its kind, you'll be split up into two groups, five men and five women, and separated from each other for the duration of the game. Over the course of the show, both teams will compete in four challenges, with each challenge resulting in one loser, who will be promptly eliminated. At the end of the game, the winning player from each team will be revealed. If those two players are not members of the same couple, then no one wins. But if those two players happen to be members of the same couple, they win the game, and a once in a lifetime prize... The chance to work with one of the best fertility doctors in the world, to aid them in having a child. So before we begin, let me ask you this... Are you prepared to do anything for love?"
His voice blasted out from the speakers with so much enthusiasm, and so much energy, that in that moment, every single one of us hopped up out of our seats, and began cheering and clapping.
Eventually, the applause faded, and our host continued, "Now, will the men please line up on the left side of the room, and the women on the right?"
The couples did exactly as he asked, and when we had finally split up into two groups, men and women, our host simply said. "Now goodluck! And I can't wait to see who makes it to the end!"
Suddenly, the two doors at the front of the room opened, and each group was escorted by a masked production assistant through one of the doors, separating the husbands from the wives, until that fateful moment at the end of the show, when only the two winners will be reunited.
For the first couple games, I didn't know where they took the wives, or what kind of challenges my own wife was facing. All I knew were the games they presented to us husbands.
Games that were, let's just say...
...Utterly fucked.
As all five men entered the room for the first game, we all saw before us, a massive open factory space, that had been adorned with only one simple piece of art direction at its center... a small wooden table.
"Will the contestants please make their way to the table." The host called out over this room's ceiling-mounted speakers.
We did as he said, as the masked camera crew followed us to the center of the room.
"The rules of game one are simple. In marriage, you must sometimes sacrifice a piece of yourself, for the greater good. Today, that sacrifice... is your wedding ring. But not just your wedding ring... your entire ring finger!"
The five guys and myself all turned to one another and chuckled, assuming he was kidding.
But suddenly, a door opened into the factory, and a masked crew member proceeded to walk over to the table holding a steak knife.
He didn't say anything, and simply stared at us through his mask, as the host continued.
"The last person to cut their finger off, or the first to give up, is the loser. And will be promptly escorted from the premises."
What the fuck. I thought to myself, realizing the host wasn't kidding.
"Wait a minute," a few of the men mumbled.
But one of them, the most obnoxious in the group, could not have been less afraid, puffing out his chest and yelling into a camera, "Fine! I'll go first. I aint afraid."
He then slammed his hand down on the table, clenching his fist in a way that only exposed his ring finger.
There was a brief moment of silence until...
...Suddenly the masked crew member grabbed the husband's hand and brought down his blade so hard, that it cut the man's finger clean off, blood spraying all over the table.
It took the arrogant man a moment to process what had just happened, before he started screaming in pain, a scream that turned into a maniacal laugh, as medical staff ran over to tend to his wound.
Meanwhile, the rest of us guys looked on in horror, as we saw blood pouring from his hand, and realized we were next.
The wounded husband then looked directly into one of the cameras and defiantly said, "That was nothing." Before turning back to us and asking, "Come on. Who's next fellas?"
Two more of the men begrudgingly followed suit, each of their ring fingers being severed from their hands, leaving just myself and one husband left.
We were both shaking in fear, but the other guy was terrified, that he started begging the producer for a way out. "Wait you can't be serious? We really need to do that? Please. Please don't make me.
"The show is called Anything For Love." Phil replied. "And you signed paperwork that warned you things like this would come up."
"I didn't read that!" The nervous man yelled back.
But before he even had a chance to consider participating, I must have accidentally leaned on the table with my hand.
"Wait!" The nervous man yelled out...
...But it was too late. Before either he or I noticed, the masked man had already amputated my ring finger, blood spraying everywhere, as I let out a great scream that echoed throughout the factory.
And as the medical staff ran over to me, just as they had done for the others who had gone before me, I heard the host's voice on the speakers again. "Congratulations, gentlemen! Four of you have shown that you'll do anything for love. While the fifth, did not have what it takes, and must now return home."
And like that, a couple masked production assistants grabbed the nervous man by the shoulders, and escorted him out of the room.
It was in the aftermath of that first game, that I realized the title of the show, "Anything For Love," was not just a play on words, but the literal description of what we would need to do to win.
And then, the host continued.
"Will the remaining four husbands please walk through the open door, and into the next room."
We did as he asked.
On the way there, I looked down at my missing finger, its stump wrapped in gauze, and couldn't help but wonder if Cara had also been forced to make the same choice, and if she had gone through with it.
When we entered the second room, we all saw another giant warehouse space. Except this time, instead of being sparse, it was completely overgrown with shrubs of thorny vines, separating where we stood, from the other side.
"Love is both a rose, but also has thorns." The host called out over the room's speakers. "It can make you feel euphoric pleasure, but at the same time extreme pain. In game two, you'll need to prove that you can overcome that pain to get to the other side, and make it to game three. The last person to crawl through the thorns, or the first person to give up, will be promptly eliminated from the show and removed from the premises. Will you do anything for love? The game starts... now."
The four husbands all looked at each other, then back at the thorns, then back at each other, before the arrogant man, who was standing beside me, made me a proposition. "Let's team up. If we follow the same path, we can take turns, one of us pushing forward for a while, then the other, and it'll save us half the pain.”
But I didn't like the idea of cheating, or supporting such an asshole, so I politely declined. "Sorry man."
"Fine, have it your way, idiot. I don't need your help, I was just trying to help him out." The arrogant man said to one of the cameras, before he turned around and charged into the thorns.
The rest of us husbands, including myself, still in shock from what had happened in the first game and clenching our wounded hands, looked at each other, and then back at the production crew. But a group of them were standing behind us, ready to push us into the thorns, should we decide not to comply.
So we all proceeded to follow the arrogant husband into the thorns, and began a race, through what felt like a football field's length of sharp vines, each of us doing our best to avoid what we could, but inevitably getting scratched over and over and over again, to the point where our bodies were covered in blood.
And when I finally crossed the finish line, and stepped out of the thorny shrubs bloody and exhausted, I was relieved to find that only two husbands had beat me there. The arrogant man, of course, and another.
We all looked back, to find the fourth pour soul still halfway through the shrubs, his clothes caught in the thorns.
"Wait for me!" He called out. But it was too late.
"Congratulations, winners!" The host's voice called out over the speakers. "You've proven you would truly do anything for love, and can proceed on to the next game. And as for the loser, please remove him from the game."
Then, a couple crew members wearing rubber suits and carrying shears, cut their way through the thorns, freed the fourth husband from the thorns, and escorted him out of the factory.
As the three remaining husbands left the second room and entered the third, my thoughts once again returned to my wife, and wondered whether she too was faced with the same challenge, and had made it through the thorns.
Game three is where things... escalated.
When we entered the next factory, I saw three beds in the center of the room, each with a TV next to it.
"Remaining contestants, welcome to the semi final challenge." The host bellowed out over the room's speakers. "Will you each please choose a bed."
The three of us did as he asked, and walked to the center of the room, each of us standing in front of one the beds.
Then, a door opened and three masked women emerged, making their way to the center of the room, and each lying down on one of the beds.
"The rules of game three are as follows." He continued. "You simply have to sex with the stranger before you..."
The arrogant husband looked at me and smiled.
"...While watching your partner do the same."
Suddenly, the three TVs turned on, each displaying our wives in the very same situation. And lying on each of their beds, was a masked man.
"First off, we assure you that the women and men before you complied consensually, and have been tested for STDs. So the test of this game is not about morality, or safety, but fidelity. Would you cheat on your significant other, for the greater good of the relationship? The last couple to have sex, or the first to refuse, will lose. While the others, will proceed on to the final challenge."
I looked at my wife on the TV screen, relieved that she had made it this far, but started in shaking fear of what we both have to do to win.
Meanwhile, the arrogant husband started unclipping his belt button and turned to one of the cameras. "You call this a semi final? My wife and I are in an open relationship. Bring it on!"
While the third man, simply stared at his TV screen, sweating and pacing, clearly terrified to go through with it, and watch his wife do the same.
"The game begins... now!” The host called out.
As the arrogant man began to have sex with the woman on his bed, his naked body still littered with fresh scratches from the thorns, I thought about trying to escape, but then I saw the timid husband, and realized his hesitation was an opportunity for me to make it to the next round.
And so, I too removed my clothes and exposed my wounded body, crawling into bed with the masked woman, as my wife did the same with the masked man.
Before long, it was over, the arrogant man laying there naked and smiling into one of the cameras, while I, also naked, hung my head in shame for what I had just done.
I looked at the TV screen, and saw my wife put her clothes back on too. We had both made it.
The same could not be said for the nervous man and his wife, who both stayed true to their values, neither engaging in the act, before masked crew members promptly escorted them out of the factory.
And then there were two. Well, two couples that is. Myself against the arrogant man, my wife against his.
Masked production assistants then brought myself and my competitor into the room where the final challenge would be held.
It, much like the first room, was completely bare save for a dinner table at its center, where two plates and sets of utensils were set out.
"Finalists. Welcome to the fourth and last challenge. Will both contestants please take a seat at the dinner table."
We followed his instructions, as we had done previously, and sat down at the table, before a couple production assistants ran over and helped us tuck bibs into our shirts.
"The rules of game four are perhaps the most simple of all. You'll be presented with an item that you must eat. The first to finish eating it, is the winner." The host said over the room's speakers.
That's when a door opened and two masked PAs came out holding trays, and began rushing them over to us.
As they approached us, I began to panic, knowing that whatever it was that they were about to present to us, would likely even be more terrifying than anything we had encountered in the previous games.
"Sometimes you have to break a heart, to win another." The host called out, "In this challenge, the item you'll need to eat is..."
At that exact moment, the two PAs each removed a pair of tongs from their pocket, uncovered their tray, and placed the item on our plates.
"...A human heart."
I gasped, and nearly threw up in my mouth, as I saw the disgusting bloody organ lying there on my plate.
"May the best husband win! Goodluck, the game starts... now!"
For a minute, I hesitated, disgusted by the challenge set before me, but then I thought about what was on the line, and saw the arrogant husband immediately biting into his heart, blood pouring down his face.
I hurried to catch up, briefly fumbling my own heart, before chomping into it, and attempting to eat it as fast as I could, as blood sprayed all over my own face.
But the arrogant husband had gotten a head start, and was moving too quickly. No matter how fast I ate it, it was becoming clear that if nothing was done, he would surely beat me..
So, not knowing what else to do…
…I slammed what was left of my heart onto the plate, removed my bib, stood up, and proceeded to tackle the arrogant man out of his seat, sending his heart sliding across the concrete floor.
"What the fuck are you doing, man?" He asked, likely surprised that I was capable of such an act.
"I'm doing what needs to be done for love." I replied, before pummeling him over and over in the face with my fist, as I channeled my innermost frustrations, ranging from the traumatic experience we had just gone through, the arrogant husband’s obnoxious behavior throughout the game, years of belittlement from asshole boss, and my wife and my countless failed attempts at getting pregnant over the years.
I kept pummeling him, until he had completely shut the fuck up, and was simply mumbling incoherent words, his face a bloody pulp, blood bubbling out of his mouth.
I then stood up, walked back to the table, sat down, put the bib back on, and took the last bite of my heart.
"Congratulations, you’ve proved that you'll truly do anything for love, and have won the show! Please remove the loser."
Rather than celebrate, my mind once again returned to my wife, worried about her well being and wondering if she too, had mustered up the courage to eat the heart, and had become the winning wife.
A couple masked production assitants then ran over and dragged the arrogant husband away, as he simply stared at me in shock.
I looked down at my hands, which were still covered in blood, then up at one of the cameras, which was now right up in my face.
“How do you feel?” Phil asked, prompting me to speak to the camera.
But I couldn’t bring myself to speak any words.
I tried to think of something to say, but before I could, a door opened, and the masked PAs grabbed me by the arms and escorted me out of the last room and into an adjacent hallway, which led to a huge set of double doors.
"Winners,” the host said over the hallway’s speakers. “You stand here before us, victorious, each of you on one side of the doors. Now it is time, to find out if the person on the other side… is your partner… and if you both had what it takes, to do anything for love."
I took a deep breath, expecting the worst. Expecting to see the arrogant man’s wife on the other side. After all that.
But when the doors opened, I simply saw…
...My wife, standing there on the other side.
We ran to each other and embraced, both of us missing our ring fingers, littered in scratches, emotionally exhausted, and with faces and hands that were covered in blood.
"Congratulations!" The host continued, "You're the winners of Anything for Love!"
Both crying, we smiled at each other, but our smiles quickly turned into looks of sadness.
We'd won. But at what cost? I wondered, before the thought was overshadowed by that of the once in a lifetime prize that awaited us.
The producer, Phil, then brought us into yet another room, where we met a doctor, his face covered by a surgical mask, and both shook his hand.
"When you two showed up late,” Phil began, “I never thought you'd be the ones to win. But you did. So we stand by our promise. After you return home, you’ll be contacted by the doctor, who will provide you with the guidance and resources to hopefully have a baby of your own. That part, is obviously not guaranteed."
"Thank you." My wife replied, clearly torn by saying those words. “Understood.”
"Thank you." I added, also torn, before realizing that the camera crew didn't follow us into the room with the doctor. "But can I ask, why aren't you filming this part?"
"Oh, our audience only cares about watching the games." Phil replied with a chuckle.
"Audience? But we just filmed it."
"Oh, yeah we were livestreaming the whole time."
"I thought it was just a pilot. Who was watching?"
"The subscribers."
"Who are they?"
"A very small, very privileged group of people, who can't be bothered by pedestrian entertainment. They desire something more... elevated."
"Will this ever be a real show?"
"This? Of course not." Phil laughed, "No one else will ever watch this again. And no one but the small group of contestants and this crew, will ever know of what went on here."
"What happened to the other couples?"
"Oh they're fine. Aside from missing fingers, and being a little physically and emotionally scratched up. We'll do with them exactly what we'll do with you. Drop them off somewhere just far enough away that after we give them their phones back, if they choose to call the police or tell anyone about this place, by the time they come here to investigate, they'll find this factory abandoned, without a trace of what went on here today. The same goes for you. By the way, we better get you ready to go, your car will be arriving any minute now.”
Neither my wife nor myself had the energy to conjure up a reply.
"Thank you again for playing!" Phil said through his mask, "And on behalf of the subscribers, please enjoy your prize!"
He then led us out down a long hallway, through a back door, and into an alley, where a car was waiting to take us away.
"The chauffeur will provide you with your phones upon your arrival."
An hour or so later, the driver pulled over on the side of a highway, and let us off, handing us our phones just as Phil had promised.
But rather than call the police, we just stood there for a while, still horrified by the terrifying experience we had just been put through.
And ultimately… we decided that since we had won, it'd be best to leave it alone.
We hitched a ride back home, and sure enough, about a week later...
...We received a call from the doctor...
...And less than a year after that, my wife gave birth to our baby boy.
Sometimes, I think back to that day, and the terrible games they set before us, and wonder if my wife and I went too far to win…
...But then I look at my newborn son, and all the doubt, all the shame, all the horror, washes away.
And as for the subscribers. Every once in a while, when a car drives suspiciously slow past our house, or I get the feeling that my baby monitor might have just moved on its own, I wonder if they're still watching us, and if this is just the next episode of their reality show.

I love my MIL, but her "steaks" are just terrible. BTW, they do not eat much "steaks" in their family in general.
She buys Eye of Round/Rump Roast beef, cuts them 1 inch thick pieces. And grills them til extremely well done for safety reason.
A free meal is a feel meal.....but man, what a waste of beef in general.
Also, only salt and pepper is used...and not even any A1 sauce.
I remember the first time I had her steak, the family only had 2 steak knives in the entire house for six people....we had to share knives...I just cut it all into little pieces like you would for a kid.
Hahahahaha.....I tell my wife this and we just laugh.

Any advice on this Tokyo itinerary?
Family of 4 with kids 9 and 4 years old. Itinerary is basically set up to treat each day like a daytrip to a different neighborhood. As much as husband and I would love to do the history and art museums, we're trying to keep this fun for the whole family. I've read bad things about the animal cafes and zoos so I've left those out, and there is still so much to do.
Arrival: Land at 7:15pm. Train to hotel in Asakusa and sleep. Not too worried about jet lag because we'll be coming from Singapore. If we're famished the hotel has a restaurant.
Day 1: Explore our home base neighborhood. Chazen Tea Ceremony at 10 AM. Lunch at Misojyu or other nearby restaurant. Walk to Miyamoto drum museum (closes at 3). Spend the evening shopping and checking out Kaminarimon and Senso-ji temple, eating on or around Nakamise Dori.
Day 2: Tokyo Cruise boat ride from Asakusa to Odaiba. Spend the day at Miraikan Museum, get tics for the movie a couple weeks ahead. Train to Toyosu for Dinner. Train back to Tokyo Cruise for return ride to Asakusa.
Day 3: Explore Yanesen Neighborhood. Cafe Neko-e-mon for craft. Yanaka Ginza for lunch and shopping. Maybe Asakura Museum of Sculpture, only if the kids are up for it. Rikugien Garden. Should we book a tour for this neighborhood to get the most out of its history?
Day 4: Sweets making experience in Asakusa at 11 am. Spend the rest of the day in the Sumida/Tokyo Skytree area. Options include signing up for kataoka byobu screen painting activity, Tokyo Skytree, the aquarium, and Fukagawa Edo Museum (has anyone been there, what did you think?).
Day 5: Ghibli Museum- We got Tics!!!!!!! Thanks Seann from Fiverr. 10 am entry, our tics are on a weekend so we can leave fairly early. After the museum hang out at Inokashira Park, maybe do the swan boats. Check out Shirohige's Cream Puff Factory and Satou steak house/butcher shop (no reservations on weekends).
Day 6: Day Trip to Mount Takao
Day 7: Shinjuku/Shibuya Options include Tokyo Toy Museum, Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden, Meiji Jingu Shrine, Shibuya Miyashita Park Bouldering Wall (if kids are in the mood, my oldest loves rock climbing), Takeshita Street, and Kiddy Land Toy Store (the grand finale so we don't have to carry shopping bags around all day). I'm having a harder time planning this day than the rest of the trip, the things we are interested in are so spread out. After doing street food and shopping in Asakusa and Yanaka, maybe we can skip Takeshita Street? Do any bicycle rental options accomodate children?
Day 6 and 7 can be swapped depending on weather. I would have liked more flexibility to adjust based on weather, but so many things require advanced reservations.
Thoughts on the Grutto Museum Pass with our itinerary? I have some notes on restaurants of interest, but we'll mostly just stop and eat wherever looks good whenever we're hungry.
Day 8: Our flight leaves Haneda at 5:15 pm. Maybe have one last lunch in Asakusa at a place we missed previously then head to the airport?
Thanks for your tips and comments!!!

My MIL travels for work so she’s gone for months at a time. My husband is working and saving up for a house for us so we are staying at his mom’s house. I’m 21 weeks pregnant with our first baby and his mom is home for the summer. I am very careful about what I do & eat in order to not put my baby’s life at risk. Yesterday we were going out to eat but where we went was buffet food only. I was told not to eat at any buffets while pregnant because of the risks. (If you haven’t heard of this, a quick google search will inform you). She FLIPPED out on me and told me she was eating whatever she wanted while pregnant (30 years ago!). We went to the beach last week and she packed my potato salad for me but it got warm (obviously) so I wouldn’t eat it and that pissed her off too. She wanted to make us steak and I know she shops at Walmart so I informed her I don’t feel comfortable eating Walmart meat or produce and she still went to Walmart and bought steaks and is mad I won’t eat it.
Me and my husband were discussing RSV in front of her and how nobody in either of our families is vaxxed for literally anything so nobody will be kissing our baby. His MIL said “Family is supposed to kiss babies and if your baby gets sick from me kissing it then it is God taking the baby home and it wasn’t meant to survive.” There’s so much more but I don’t feel like typing it. I’m heartbroken and genuinely feel like she wants the baby to die. She’s not once asked us how me or the baby is doing. The rest of our families live up north and I’m contemplating moving back there alone until my husband buys us a house. He’s not happy with his mom either especially with how she acted yesterday. Am I overreacting?
She birthed 4 healthy babies (30-47 years ago) but didn’t live with or raise any. She’s constantly telling me that she did whatever she wanted while pregnant and insists that I listen to her over doctors.

I've been with my partner for 4 years on and off. He has a very dominant personality whereas I am the complete opposite.
He likes to have a say in what I wear ( I actually appreciate this because I really dont have a clue about fashion) and when we go out, he always orders for me. He checks my phone regularly and when I'm out, I have to text him every half an hour. I have never cheated or been with anyone else in the 4 years I've been with him
I always thought he was just very protective of me but this weekend has me questioning it. We went to our mutual friends house for a BBQ and someone asked if I wanted steak. He replied with "No, she doesn't"
They then asked if I wanted a drink and he again said I didn't. It wasn't until later in the evening that one of our friends drunkenly told me he was abusive and controlling. I swear, it never even occurred to me that that's what was happening. He always just tells me he is looking out for me
I guess I just want some fresh perspective on it. I don't want to leave him, I love him very much and would like to work on this with him Please help!

This is such a non sequitur but I finalized my guest list this weekend using an elimination tactic I feel…really good about.
I don’t have a lot of extended family. My mom has two living relatives. Cousins - very sweet, a little elderly, I’d be happy to have them. I know them. Logistics might be complicated. I made it clear no presents if they attend or otherwise. Not trying to bogart someone’s pension or SS for a toaster (or whatever).
My dad doesn’t have a lot of close relatives. Some first cousins once removed, second cousins, etc. I’ve met some, ambivalent, maybe minor dislike of others. I don’t know most of them.
I am really close to my uncle. I wouldn’t invite anyone because “fammmmilly.” I figured if he likes them, I’m okay with giving the “grownups” a little social circle. Also my dad is weird, a distraction/buffer of relatives seemed like it had potential to prevent mortification scenarios.
Me to uncle: “are any of these people cool / do you want to hang out with them?”
He looked me dead in the eye and was like “not a single one has called grandma in 5+ years.”
Grandma is a 97 year old badass. She’s adorable - like wearing a knitted beanie and flannel shirt with a vest earlier today, trying to give me her house (I’m like grandma you are the queen of this castle, forever may you reign). She wasn’t serious, she was was just so happy to have a surprise visitor with a dozen cupcakes and a smile. A short Mother’s Day surprise visit made her week.
If any of these DBs were selfless enough to not act like she’s already gone, and called her once in awhile, I’d have gladly wined and dined them. Steaks all around.
Two of these shet bags used her address to fraudulently attend the better high school in her area. Radio silent.
I’d rather have grandma and a fleet of home health aides. As it stands, she’s not really strong enough to make it, which makes me sad. My uncle gave me a piece of intel that was literally intel of peace. I can have a few more actual friends on the big day. If there’s any weirdness, I am fine with letting these “relatives” know that because grandma is slightly infirm, we thought it would be best she have some comfort and company to feel less lonely while celebrating from home. If I’m feeling especially passive aggressive, I’ll offer to have some nice takeout delivered for them to eat while streaming the ceremony with grandma. Most of these jerks live within 20 minutes of her house. I’m going to be disappointed if I don’t hear some bs through the grape vine. Nothing would make me happier than getting into it. If I could do a shame bell game of thrones thing it would be the best wedding gift of them all lol
A bit of a ramble, but this cleansed my mind of any subconscious guilt creeping up about not inviting family. Being a family is how you treat each other, not feeling entitled to being wined and dined just because. Yes, she’s old but she’s still the same wonderful person who was there for all of these people all of their lives. I love my grandma. No one puts granny in the corner.

I f(32) and bf m(39) have been having a rocky relationship. Today is mother's day and I tried sleeping in a letting dad take care of the youngest 1yr old boy. He woke up with attitude and could hear him getting snippity with the q yr old who was fussing and asking for breakfast so I got up out of bed to hang out with the baby and get him to settle. I go to lay back down and dad takes off to get his coffee. Luckily the coffee line was too long so he stopped at a gas station and got me an energy drink. At one point during the morning, I was feeling blue and didn't give him the reaction or attention he wanted and it just spiraled down from there. I've been snapped at multiple times and ended up sleeping most of the day cause I couldn't bring myself to shower or get dressed or anything. He didn't even the card for mother's day. Our oldest boy (7) was really excited to go to a restaurant and I even looked up some as I was looking forward to going out as a family but after the way I've been treated all day I decided I was just going to make steak for dinner. Now after hearing him mumbled under his breath about me pulling myself together did just that, I got up, made the kids lunch, bathed the youngest and started cleaning house. He just stormed off to the store after I refused to go as he told me he can't even with me right now and how I am the asshole here by making him look like the bad guy cause he knows exactly why I would say I don't want to go to a restricted and that I'm being unfair to our oldest. Our oldest is clearly disappointed but also said he didn't want me to have to cook dinner. To top it off I'm not even getting a real steak he is buying a tri tip cause more meat to use for later and he'll just cut it in steak peices.