I (20nb) begged my partner (22nb) not to go to a recent furry convention, which they had heard about from an ex-friend. There were a lot of reasons for this. Some of them valid, some of them not. They constantly refused and told me they were their own person and couldn’t be told what to do. It must be added, they had been to conventions before (not this one) and I have never been to one in my life Eventually I gave in, but asked for some boundaries:
1) the con was on the opposite side of the country, so I asked for Life365 so I would know they hadn’t been abducted or harmed, and so I could watch where they were. They said yes, then no, then yes. But by the time they gave in again, I said no. Since I believed it would cause more problems.
2) avoid drugs and alcohol. I thought this was fair, since the only people they knew were from the internet. They refused, because they “would not be able to relax and have fun.”
3) tell me who they were rooming with. They did agree to this, but they only told me one of them, and this person is important later.
4) keep in regular contact. We normally did this anyways, but I wanted to continue for sure while they were gone. They said they’d try their best.
Now it should be mentioned, before they were made aware of this con, I suffered a concussion. Additionally, I have had money troubles, medicine problems, finals for college, and terrible sleep. To put it simply I have been exhausted and not in my right mind for the whole month of April. They haven’t been well either but it’s not my place to say why.
In any case, after weeks of stress and arguing, they parked their car at my house and I drove them to the airport. Eventually they got to the con, but I barely heard from them. I tried to reach out but received little to no response. Then, I opened twitter and was shown a video by their roommate, where for only a few seconds my partner was visible in a crop top.
This normally would not bother me but something in my brain snapped and I panicked and spam texted them that I wasn’t okay with any of this and they needed to stay in contact with me because we had agreed on it, and other paranoid things. I know this wasn’t the right response, but in the moment I was afraid and upset and jealous.
They texted me a couple hours later how it wasn’t okay and how they felt so awful they had to leave the room they were in to cry.
The next morning (unbeknownst to me) they cheated on me with two of their roommates. All I know is it didn’t get far, but they did kiss and my partner told them to stop after five minutes. After this, they texted me that we needed to have a serious conversation about my paranoia when they got back. At some point, they threw away their “engagement” bracelet
This was my wake up call, and so I dialed way back, and tried to stop prodding. I was friendly, but largely non-invasive. They sent me a picture with their roommates, saying the two were in a closed relationship and wouldn’t try anything.
The rest of the weekend went on, and I picked them up on Monday. They were flighty on the ride home, and when we got to my parents house they finally told me. I tried to be supportive and understanding, since I’d been led to believe it was a mistake, but I kept having emotional and mental breakdowns.
For the next two days they stayed here and I tried to help them. They said they did love me, but they didn’t know what they felt or wanted anymore. This hurt really bad. They were clearly unwell, any unrequested touch or question about the future would cause them to freak out. They would push me away and yell at me. I wanted them to go to a crisis center or the psych ward, and they flip flopped on this. Eventually I snapped and a shouting match ensued.
The important parts are: I no longer trust them, they are afraid of me and don’t know what to believe.
On their last day here, I tried to take them to the crisis center, but after an argument they demanded to go home, then to the crisis center. I drove them to the crisis center but they left. When we got back to my house the situation became real as we realized this was the end. We endured another shouting match. As they left, they told me I ruined sex for them, and that they seamlessly fell asleep in the other people’s arms. (They’ve always had a problem sleeping in mine.) and this made me sob.
They texted me a while ago to apologize for what they said, but I don’t know what to say or feel. I’m just hurt and exhausted and betrayed. I still love them, I want this to work, or at least I want to try one more time. I don’t want a bad month to end a good year.

Dear C,
I loved you. not in that wishy washy lifetime holiday movie kind of way either. I truly loved you. I knew when I met you I could possibly fall. I tried not to, stayed away. didn't want to rock any boats. I think it was that expression of what I believed to be a love of life. the smile and lighting up eyes. I don't know. It's hard to put my finger on. you just had that air about you.
Became friends. shared secrets. shared sorrows. I didn't expect to become what I thought was that area of close friendship. To then get feelings though we lived so far apart. it hurt when I realized it was more than feelings of friendship in my chest. trying so hard to shut if down. not let myself be swept up into something. Love is a lot like the ocean though. one cannot sway it's currents as one cannot halt the rotation of the Earth.
It was turmoil it couldn't be, though I wished for us to fall into each other, hold you tightly to me and feel ourselves melt into each other. You had inklings I know. never said anything, we never discussed it. you moved even further away. I thought perhaps I could move on. I didn't. perhaps that's when I should have noticed. not that you were with someone but that perhaps you were not really my friend.
permission to send flowers but sending them to your work. speaking on the whatsapp. instead of texting. letting me feel confused about your feelings with me yet no resolution. I didn't want to lose you so I said nothing. that was pathetic of me. I think just a way to let myself be taken advantage of again later.
losing touch, regaining communications. losing touch again. Honestly I should have realized sooner but one becomes blinded by their own feelings. It came to a head a year and a half ago. Nearing christmas I found myself this particular year in a deep depression. Even years after tragedy it still hurts. I saw through posts you recently had a family tragedy as well. I wanted to make sure you were ok.
We agreed to meet up for dinner at my place what was that? the 22nd? the 23rd perhaps. So glad to hear from a close friend, feeling a sense of happiness. looking forward to something. braving the grocery stores less than a week from Christmas. I got a bunch of ingredients settling on a fancy style pizza and poached pears. something fun, not romantic (I didnt want to give the wrong vibes) even got a new sauce pan just to make a great red wine reduction for the pears lol. It was all set. I had a bottle of moscato d asti too. just a dessert wine. I even handmade the damn dough. It did turn out pretty decent, the pizza cooked. pears soaking in sugar water. yet
Yet it was 4:00 and I hear nothing, I had that nagging feeling
no Surely she wouldn't.
5:30 I had no word. perhaps a little later dinner. afterall I did not set the specific time.
6:30 and I messaged you to get an apology. I'm so sorry.
She told me her grandmother's memorial was that day. they released a balloon even.
I was crushed. deflated much like that balloon after a week of floating I'm sure. It seemed like an airtight excuse. Or at least one if I questioned would make me an asshole. I may be an ass but C I'm no asshole. I told you I understood but it didn't end there.
for over six months, six months it went on like this. I sent flowers twice actually when I thought I overstepped, made you mad at me. I rememembe getting very sick in Februaury and aplogizing for looking you up to send the damn flowers, feeling guilty of being some type of creep. You didn't mind. Hell I forgot to mention I had a Christmas gift from the previous years I couldn't get to you due to covid.
I asked if you were busy, You asked my free days. if you had the same day off and we made plans, without fail you would cancel or just not show. you would not message me. I understood-still understand helping family when they are sick. yet why not call? text? If I questioned it I was the bad guy. I'd always be the bad guy for simply questioning. I asked you if you didn't wish to be friends. to just reject me if that were the case. I just wanted to spend time together yet... yet even getting you to answer a text was a chore. why? I didn't obsess, I didn't stalk. I just wanted to spend time with someone I cared for. to help in any way I could.
Looking back it was rather pathetic of me. you're still the only person to make me act in that manner. You never rejected me. why? I needed that finality, that goddamned nail in the coffin to know for sure. I guess I just wasn't paying attention. You seemed to get out any way from visiting. spending time together. at a trusted friend's suggestion I proposed time after time neutral territory. coffee shops, restaurants, the book store. any public place.
I didn't know if you had issue with me personally, meeting a guy in his home? you agreed so many times to meet up to only ghost me. You did ghost me. repeatedly. You then said you didn't ghost me that you were staying late to get in the good graces of a new boss, just not answering me letting me apologize later.
I'm sorry C but having well established plans then not letting the person know you weren't going until after the fact. or not letting them know at all IS GHOSTING. SAYING IT'S NOT GHOSTING IS GASLIGHTING.
you ghosted me constantly, you gaslighted me. it hurt. If I didn't have blinders, if I weren't so fucking depressed I would have wisened to it. Instead I hoped and thought perhaps this time. not unlike those scratcher addicts wasting money hoping for that big payout.
You ghosted and gaslighted me. it hurt my self worth. perhaps I wasn't worthy of love nor frienship. a lingering trauma from my childhood you only reinforced in me. I think looking back on it you gaslighted me the entirety of our relationship. when that hit me... I don't know. From the same friend, she thought it a good idea to ask what I was to you. What type of friend am I to you? that was the question. was I just an aquaintenance? was I a close friend? was I just some person?
"of course we're friends" was my response. That wasn't the question though. Crushed. Angry. depressed. I tried still. yet you didnt acknowledge me. I think I grew bitter.
You ghosted me, You gaslighted me. You wouldn't tell me you rejected me even when I asked you to. I felt as though I weren't being treated as a human being.
To me you seemed to be acting like a narcissist or perhaps afraid? You were giving excused the same way the people who raised me did. classic text book narcissists.
C , I hate that a part of me loves you. I hate that what seemed like a relationship that meant so much to me perhaps didn't mean anything to you. I hate that I fell for someone who lies, who ghosts, nor treats me with the slightest bit of respect. I loved you but you only hurt me. loving you made me not feel good about myself. I wish
I wish instead of this rant I could tell you in a nicer way how I feel. That I then wanted to know you because I think it was more the idea of you I fell in love with. just a phantom. That I wished to find the depths of conversation only those like us could know. to find the depths of that well. to truly know one another.
I realize you'll never give an honest answer. I'll never have that chance to cook for you. the closest we'll be emotionally is being an unanswered call, empty chair, dinner for no one. I'll never share true intimacy with you. I remember you placing your head on my shoulder during the movie at the art museum. I wante to put my arm around you so much that night. it seemed innapropriate. I had no idea if she were your friend or girlfriend. I could not intrude.
I realized there are othes who see my worth. I'm more than just a text. people who see me. Yet a part of me lingers wishing. it's only a whisper now, something that still aches. I wished for closure. I'll never get it. I try to accept it. I can only move on.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/This_Musician7165 posting in TwoHotTakes
User account has since been deleted
Concluded as per OOP
2 updates - Medium
Original - 15th January 2024
Update in a comment - 16th January 2024
Final Update (Link no longer accessible)- 16th January 2024
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My Step Dad purposefully ruined my $900 prom dress by washing it! Is there anything I can do such as take legal?
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Edit: Sorry for some reason Reddit took my original post down. This is my first time using Reddit
’ve never posted on here, but I really need advice because I’m so distraught and have no clue what I should do I’m only 17 and don’t know if there’s any legal action I can take. So for a little background I live with my bio mom and her husband since my dad and mom separated and were never married. I originally lived with my dad since I was 2 he won custody during the custody battle. However he later lost custody of me after having a bad work accident that made him paralysed and he wouldn’t be able to take care of me but I still see him every weekend and the whole summer. I moved in with my mom and her husband and their two sons ,1 stepbrother and 1 half brother, when I was 10. And ever since then my stepdad basically directly and indirectly says that I’ve disrupted their lives by coming back into my mother’s life, because I’m an extra person they have to take care of.
I’ve been working since I was in 10th grade and saving up for my senior yeacollege since last year with the money from my job since my mom and her husband let me know that only my mom would only help me with the basics such as my graduation cap and gown, senior dues, and senior class photo. Anything else I would have to pay for myself such as prom.
I get paid about $400 every two weeks from my job which Ive been saving in full, and then making extra money doing nails about $100 a week plus tip which I use as my spending money. Since it’s my senior and last year of high school I’ve been wanting to go all out for prom so I set a $800 budget for my prom dress. My prom is in April and I wanted to get my prom dress early since most of the actual cute ones sell out quick. So I went prom dress shopping in December and found a beautiful dress that’s costed $890. It’s dark green with a long train with rhinestone imbedded into it with glitter in the dress.
When I first showed my mom and stepdad the dress they asked how much it was, which I told them the amount and my mom said that she wouldn’t be paying for a dress that expensive which I replied it’s okay because I have more than enough money saved up to buy it, and I’ll still have a lot of money left over (23k to be exact but only my mom knows that) mom said I could get the dress and that it was very pretty, however my stepdad said that it’s irresponsible and a waste of money and I should use it for better things like helping out the family and paying some of the bills. And get a dress cheaper that’s max $300. Mind you both his son’s own PS5 and multiple $200+ shoes.
Long story short my mom disagreed with him and I ended up getting the dress in the end and she even put $150 toward it.
However ever since then he constantly brings up that I help pay for things around the house since I have so much money to throw away but my mom always shuts it down saying that I work hard for my money to save it and I already help about with paying the Netflix, Amazon prime, and Hulu bills while my step brother (18) don’t pay anything.
Anyway last Saturday we got into a really big disagreement because my stepdad suggested I should help my step brother pay for his prom to which I responded with no. He later called me selfish and said that it’s not fair that I get an expensive outfit while he doesn’t. And I guess I said with in a snarky way I responded with that’s not my child or my problem. He later tried to complain to my mom and she said that I was right and that if anything he should pay for his own prom.
Well today when I woke up from a nap I noticed my prom dress was missing from my closet since it’s in the very front of my closet and looked around for it. I then asked my stepdad if he has seen it since my mother was at work. And he said he had, and in fact he was washing it, while giving me a condescending smile. I immediately ran downstairs and saw my dress being washed on the heavy duty cycle I immediately cancel it and it was ruined. Majority of my rhinestones came out and the glitter was washed out the whole dress had been mangled.
I took one look at it and then threw it a trash bag and left for my friends house with the dress. I texted my mom and sent her pictures but I’m currently at my friends house and laying on her bed. My friends parent hanged it outside to allow it to air dry so my stepdad can’t put the blame on them if the dried it in the dryer. What makes me know he did to spite me because he never washes clothes, cooks or anything since “he’s the man of the house so he shouldn’t have to”, so there was no viable reason he could have for washing it, even if it needed washing.
Is there anything I can do? I know neither of them can replace being they are tough financial situation? I’ll update you guys when mom gets home. So far my stepdad has called 2x but I haven’t answered him. And my mom’s at work and can’t receive calls.
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Comments
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Fancy_Association484
My heart hurts for you. Get him to admit it over text then file small claims court.

OOP: He’s not gonna admit I don’t think imma try to get audio but we also have cameras with audio imma try and use them when my mom gets off

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Rhodin265
I didn’t see this suggested, but since you’re paying for the streaming services, change your passwords and log out all devices. Giant toddlers don’t get their tanties rewarded with their stepkid’s Netflix.
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Fromashination
It would be a dastardly shame if Step Dad's favorite shoes were accidentally left on the porch in the snow all night.
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Update - 1 day later
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Edit 1:I don't know how to add updates so imma just add an edit but my mom and me just got off the phone and she's pissed and otw home. She's currently otw home so me and my friend and her dad are otw to my house and my mom said she was gonna call the cops as soon as she get off the phone so they may be there by the time I get there. We've taken pictures and the uncle (my mom brother) will be over there by 8 bc I contacted him while at work. I've listened to all your suggestions about withdrawing my money out of my account so I thinking and I talked to my dad about that as well and told me I can stay with him
Edit/Update 2:When I got home my friend stayed in the car while her dad walked me in, and my step dad was already gone. However police were at the house. As of now police said they can’t really arrest him because it’s not like he broke the law of stealing (I don’t know how to explain it basically this theft isn’t breaking the law bc he washed it and didn’t keep it) they suggested I can get a confession and get him to pay or take him to small claims court. Also the dress is non refundable if damaged so I can’t return it or anything. While explaining to my mom what happened I kinda fumbled my words and started crying and she hugged me as I cried. And she said that he’s gonna pay for this, this financial issue has actually been a on going disagreement and I think he just pulled the last straw bc she is PISSED. Also I talked to my uncle and he’s actually off work and over his way over here.
Him and my stepdad apparently have a rough history since my dad has had a smart mouth towards him in the past. While explaining to my uncle what happened he said that it would be alright and if anything he’ll buy back the dress before it sells out, so I’ll have my dress by prom but he does expect my step dad to pay me back one way or another so I’m basically probably gonna get my dress for free. Maybe that’s a little win. I’ll update more probably later tonight. But things seem to be good.
Edit: Also to clear up some confusion I pay the streaming service bills bc I really want to watch the shows on those services and my mom works hard but doesn’t make enough to have those services on top so I’ve offer to pay them so we could have them. She not a horrible “I’ll pick my husband over you” mother and she always defend me and he’s never pulled a stunt like this just tries to convince her to control my money and savings. And she’s never spent my saving either. I feel like thats why they always clash because he has a mindset of we have all these financial troubles and your daughter could solve them with her savings and you have access to them.
Edit/Update 4: Okay so my uncle came over and he and my mom had a little argument bc he blamed her for enabling my stepdads behaviour by not leaving him and thats why he felt comfortable to do what he did. And she argued back saying she always defended me against him and has never taken any of my money (which is true). We all talked about it a bit and she revealed that last night they had actually had a argument about paying off a car payment because she made a comment about how all these bills are taking a toll on her, and he made a comment about how it wouldn’t be that much of a toll if she used my savings and didn’t allow me to spend it on foolishness and she got mad and defensive bc he keeps bringing it up.
He also said that the $900 I spent could’ve payed off that car payment for the next 2 months. Btw he only know about my savings because he know how’s much I get paid and that I’ve been saving all of it. So we think that’s what triggered him to throw my dress in the washer.
My mom and stepdad has also been texting back and fourth and he admitted that he washed it to teach me a lesson that I shouldn’t spend that much money on a dress that can be destroyed that easily but he put the setting on heavy duty so he obviously intended to destroy it. My uncle has also offered to replace the dress so I don’t need to worry about not getting to wear my special dress. We called the boutique and explained it to them and they say they can order another dress although it won’t be there until Feb 23 which fine tbh.
My mother sent my step dad a long threatening message basically calling him out shes kinda heated rn so imma try and ask for a screenshot later. Her and my father also spoke and decided that it’d be best that I get my own bank account so that my step dad can’t use the excuse that she has access to my account so that’s also great. My mom and I had a talk about what gonna happen after this and she said shes not sure as of just yet bc it’s all a little too much for her bc she seriously contemplating leaving him, but i guess she don’t wanna actively discuss that right now. Also my stepdad is currently at a friends house. I’ll continue to update possibly may get one tomorrow. My friends parent are gonna keep the dress over their house and imma pick it up tomorrow to have as proof.
Edit:I apologise for not being to update since Reddit took down my post because of a “no walls text rule” that I was unaware of but it’s all good now
Edit/Update 5: My uncle has transferred me $1000 for my prom dress and I’m actually planning on using the money for replace the dress and buy new shoes. He’s very well off, which was one reason I contacted him in the first place.
So I plan on just calling the boutique and seeing if they can reorder it and I’ll just pick it up from there sometime in February. However my step-dad still must pay in some form, or at least we are trying to get him to. My uncle has called my other uncles and aunts (with my permission) to basically vent about the situation.
So majority of my mom side who all live in GA knows about what happened. I woke up to a lot of text about the situation given sympathy, as well as money to have for prom which have totalled to about $300. So this is great. My mom has also contacted my step-in-laws who then spread the news with pictures and I guess most of them are shocked as well other than his mother his is buying his claim that it’s just a dress and it was a accident despite evidence. I got a call from my step-dad sister sympathising for me.
And through conversations with I learned that my step-dad has also been asking a lot of his family to help him with his finances. Because for some reason the dude has bought so many things to pay off he can’t keep up with them.
My mom called my step-dad for answers which we recorded. And he’s basically trying to blame her bc if she didn’t piss him off last night then he wouldn’t have done it. And that he was trying to show me why I shouldn’t be irresponsible with money bc I guess he planned to lecture afterwards.
Also my mom has broken up with him bc he blamed her for caring more about me than him, which is weird. Which ensured in a argument with her saying “you think i care about her more than you, your gonna see just how much I do”
Also they’ve been on a rocky relationship since he can’t manage money and this was her breaking point.
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Comments
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TaffyAppl
Just saw this update!! Now that you have the text, please show the police as confession as destruction of property and/or take him to court to pay for it. It’s not fair to your uncle. Once you get your step dad to pay up, you can pay your uncle back. Girl Good luck!
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sherbear97124
What your step-dad did is called malicious mischief and is a crime. With the confessions and proof, there probably is a case. Just know that because of the monetary value, it's most likely just a misdemeanor charge. Regardless, you definitely have a small claims case against him. Sadly, by the sounds of his financial affairs, you'll be lucky if he ever pays, but it's still worth pursuing. Good luck!
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Update - same day later
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Edit/Update 6: Sorry to post on here Reddit keep telling me to try again later so sorry again
Okay so a lot of bs has transpired. Firstly we’ve place an order for my dress, and they are shipping it now and it should be at the boutique by Feb 23 so all that is taken care of. My SD and mom are officially broken up and my mom said she doesn’t now if she’ll move on with divorce proceedings yet bc everything is still fresh and lawyer are expensive and she can’t afford it rn.
Also they have a prenup so they don’t share assent and the house is my mother dad house she inherited (she had a different dad than all her siblings and all her siblings share a dad).
So my step father showed back up with his brother after a while and my step father decided to do and buy me a new dress from Macy that looks similar to dress in color and length but it’s very tacky and ugly. And look nothing like the original.
He then tried to apologise and said it wasn’t his intention to ruin the dress. he said that he was simply gonna wash it and say “see this is why you don’t buy things like this” and then he would’ve bought me another dress…. But that’s make absolutely no sense.
Also my uncle came back to my house after I texted him my step dad came back (he was at the store) and they got into a big argument where basically my uncle demanded to know why he destroyed the dress
And my step dad said he not gonna walk up in his house demanding shit, and my uncle called him a bitch. And then my SD said to call him a bitch again which he did and they ended up fighting. (My SD lost) he threatened to call the cops but we reminded him that he swung first
After that my step dad went on a tirade and cussed us out and left and took the dress with him.
We are actually planning on taking y’all advice and taking him to small claims court given the evidence and the damage. And hopefully we win. Also my SD is staying at his parents house currently.
Lastly for all curious about my brothers they are 15 (half) and 18 (step) .The 15 was at his girlfriend house since Friday so he wasn’t home for any of the commotion but did reach out to me today, I love him so much. And the 18 year basically sided with his dad so that all there is to say.
Also those who suggested changing the streaming’s passwords I have change them. And me and my mom are gonna get me my own bank account later today. Thank you guys for all the support I’ll continue to update as thing come and our plans of action and the verdict and all
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Comments
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Hello,
I, F (23) have been texting/calling with a M (30), we had a first date i believe 3 or 4 weeks ago, we went for drinks at a restaurant. It was going well and he then asked to go for a drive, but before we could even get into his car, he kissed me and it was lovely. We then went inside his car for a heavy petting/make out session but I kept second guessing myself and stopped it from going further. He asked if i wanted to go to his place to meet his dog, and of course i said yes.
we were at his place and we just cuddled and watched a movie, about this time its 2 AM and well, after the movie ended, we started fooling around and you can guess what happened next. After the first time, we cuddled and had pillow talk for about 2 hours, then we did it again and around 4 AM we decided to fall asleep. in my mind, i was thinking this isn't just some hook up, people don't have pillow talk for 2 hours or spend the night. they typically just go straight into it and then sleep together then leave. However, when i woke up in the morning, he was awake for like maybe 2 minutes and i heard him on his phone. He was on this app for maybe a literal 15 seconds. All i heard was "swipe, swipe, swipe, buzz buzz"
Yeah...he was on a dating app and matched with someone. So a minute later he asks if i was awake and i tell him "yeah..were you just on a dating app? I heard you match with someone so congrats"
He responded with the "whattt, how did you know? wait- now you're going to think im not serious about you". of course i responded with a "well yeah" and he said "but i am serious about you"
I brushed it off, thinking i was wrong that maybe this was a 1 time thing. However, he still texts me every day and sometimes calls me a few times a week but he only sees me on fridays? He also told me that he wants to be exclusive. we've been going about this for going on 4 weeks now. I somehow feel he doesn't take me seriously, we have gone out in public and all, but last Friday he upset and I was getting dressed to leave. He was stopping me, but when he was talking to me as i was putting on my shoes, he wasn't even facing me. Mind you, he was asking me to stay and to not be upset with him and just come back to bed. But why wouldn't he face me? he was half turned facing the opposite way but with his head turned to his side so i was in his peripheral vision. Was it because he doesn't like showing vulnerability? was it because he doesn't take me seriously?
My friend told me that he probably just settled on me, and when i told my situationship about this he actually got upset with me and said i ruined the vibe of our relationship or whatever this is? which the only reason i have doubts about us is solely because he was on a dating app while i was in his bed next to him.
**TL;DR;** i can't tell if my situationship is serious about me or not

Hey there! Looking for some new people to talk to, down to chat about pretty much anything as long as you can somewhat hold a conversation haha. Not really great at writing these things so I'll just list off some of my interests and things I'm looking for.
About me:
-i like watching sports; baseball, hockey, F1, sometimes basketball.
-i love video games, I play mostly on my PC, but I also have a PS5 and a switch. Right now I'm mostly playing dota 2 and r6 siege, but I have and play a lot of other stuff too.
-I have two cats that I love to death, totally down to show you how cute they are!
I love movies, I have a pretty large physical movie collection of blu rays and 4ks, I especially love horror but I'll watch most genres.
-I also enjoy music a lot, mostly metal, but also pop punk, pop, rap, country, and some other random stuff too. I've been to A LOT of concerts over the past 10 years but haven't been to many recently.
-im pretty introverted, I work a lot and when I'm not working I like to pretty much stay in and relax for the most part.
-i work night shift, i I have a pretty unorthodox schedule and sleep during the day and I'm up all night haha
I have 6 tattoos!
I don't smoke or drink, I don't really mind or care if you do though!
Physically im 6 foot tall hazel eyes with glasses and short brown hair. Medium build, a bit of a dad bod.
That's pretty much it, I'm sure there's a lot more I could include but I'll save that for later. Now here's some things I'm looking for!
What I'm looking for:
-someone who can somewhat hold a conversation and is actually interested in getting to know each other
-down to share selfies and possibly down to voice chat in the near future
down to switch to another platform, I don't really want to use the chat feature on here, sorry.
-open to the possibility of something flirty, and or just friendship. I'm not strictly looking for friendship only.
That's mostly it I think. Shoot me a message with a little about yourself if you're interested

So today my friend had told me that some girl did I was talking shit about her and I was mad confused because I never talked about her ever she said someone said that I went to my teacher and said she was a mean person and she had a bad attitude and I was going to distance myself. But I kept reaffirming her I did not and she was just like ok ok sarcastically. So I had a breakdown because she was a good friend I had and I would have never talked behind her back. So when I get home she text me saying if I had a problem with her I coulda just came to her instead of talking shit and then she trying to bring in another friend saying I was texting her and talking shit so I send her the text message history to her because she said she was these “text” I send her the text and she said I deleted them and she not fucking stupid. And I told her I’m not gonna keep proving I wasn’t talking about you and told her if she doesn’t wanna be friends I respect it. I just don’t know what to do because we’re high school seniors and I’m not trying deal with petty drama so what should I do

Basically my trainer took me out on a date, and he was being a gentleman the entire time, kissing my hand, my forehead, holding my hand the entire time, super sweet. he also asked if my parents would approve of him wanting to date me since he’s not from my ethnicity or religion. Things seemed to be going really well, I thought he seemed serious about this. We kissed at the end of the night, and that was it. I haven’t heard from him since. not a call, not even a text.
I have been really hurt and confused, because I didn’t see this coming, and so I decided I don’t feel comfortable training with him anymore, so I called my gym and asked if they can cancel my training(I didn’t provide the reason, I just said it’s for my own personal reasons). They said they’d let him know, then as soon as that phone call ended, I get a text from him. So basically the only time he chose to reach out to me was when he was about to lose his only client (he told me himself i’m his only and favorite client) and so he’s just being business minded at this point.
He casually texted me and asked me how I’m doing and when I plan on coming in again for training…..it’s very obvious to me that it’s not sincere, esp right after he found out that i no longer want to be his client aka pay him. he’s acting like nothing happened between us and it’s really making me even more confused. I chose not to respond, then he texted me again later on, asking “hey are you good?” and I still didn’t respond because I don’t like explaining my feelings over text. and like i said, it just doesn’t seem sincere. I don’t get why he doesn’t just call, it’s not like we haven’t spoken on the phone before. i feel like if he truly cared he would’ve called me by now to actually talk.
I’ve been in tears and I just feel so disappointed. even if he changed his mind and just wanted to be friends, I wish he would’ve said that.
I’ve been on a dating hiatus for 2 years, and the minute i chose to get out of it, i got hurt. again. like i get it, that’s life. but i seriously wasn’t expecting this, he seemed so genuinely interested. i just don’t get it. and then for him to act like nothing happened hurts me even more.

So I date on the apps, it's relatively new to me. I'm kind, patient, intelligent, decent looking, well groomed, tall, overweight but working on it, have a promising career, live on my own, don't have children.
I listen and can communicate, I can express my needs in a healthy way. I'm not in a hurry to sleep with anyone, am looking for a relationship and I communicate that early. I'll talk and date anywhere from a week to months before we do sleep together. I want them to be comfortable, ready and to enjoy it, it's not a priority for me. Attraction is high both ways, there's a lot of making out and heavy petting all long the way. I'm attentive, they enjoy it, finishing more often than me. I've been assured now several times it's not the sex.
We'll cuddle and spoon, sometimes we'll spend the night other times not. We'll spend the morning together if we do, get coffee/brunch. We part ways on good terms in the afterglow of a good night/weekend. We'll have had ideas for next dates we never get to. I'm decent and message that night/the next day, not into playing games.
Immediately after, every single time they lose interest. Communication immediately drops off a cliff compared to where things had been, yes people get busy, I'm not demanding immediate attention or double texting, just continuing communication as it was.
Initially it got to me and I wasn't good about it. Full blown anxious, you know the drill. But I've done a lot of work to not let it get to me, I don't indulge that anymore, I sit with the feelings on my own and will make my peace with it then follow up with them when I'm ready. Nothing ever comes of it, but there's closure in it whether I get a response or not and I move on.
I know part of it was the anxious avoidant dynamic initially, but I'm not dating for those firework feelings anymore. Instead cultivating and looking for something secure.
Am I being used for sex because I'm a safe option?
Is it compatibility? That's what I'm chalking it up to.
I don't know what I'm missing.

So the last few years have been rough.
*note* if you're a "cheaters will always be cheaters type" tldr is don't bother reading or commenting
BACKSTORY 2019-2023 child nearly annual broken bones, lots of stress and specialist visits.
2018-2024 my wife got her associates as a medical assistant and is almost done with her bachelor's and final quarter internship while working full time and that has been hard for me. The lack of time for me and my son has really made an impact.
2019 I was injured at work and 2020 had my first surgery to try and preserve an ankle joint. That surgery ended up failing and while recovering I ended up mangling 2 fingertips in a wood jointer. 2020 I had to make the transition to a sahd on workers comp and have been since then. My lifestyle of hiking and fishing was upended because I could barely be on my feet 3 hours a day and uneven ground killed me not to mention the whole covid thing was pretty isolating.
All of 2021 was supporting her being a surrogate for a couple in City X (their egg/sperm). So, lots of trips checks and giving her injections. It was kind of proving myself to her because I was terrified when our son was born in 2017 and didn't help as much as I should have. Especially the first 3 months. Really, I didn't find out until later. We had conversations and fights at the time and id step up to do more and she would agree and tell me it was all okay. Then another fight saying I wasn't doing enough/anything and asking more and me being upset and confused. I guess at the time she was afraid to ask more, or tell me what she wanted, or her feelings, and the postpartum depression and initial feelings of abandonment didn't help.
Anyways the surrogacy went okay. I was there and supportive. Rubbing her feet and back. taking on extra load when she was tired etc. And hey I didn't pass out at delivery this time XD The end was a bit hard with 2 inductions needed and a massive 9.5lb baby and a stuck shoulder.
Then a few weeks after birth in November 2021 the nightmare began.
Out of nowhere she started hemorrhaging. She had to have an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding and scans showed a mass. Turned out the surrogate baby's placenta had some cells turn cancerous and attach to her uterus (Choriocarcinoma). 3 months later and the first 3 agent chemo failed, and her numbers were skyrocketing because it turned treatment resistant. They had to hit it with 5 types of chemo (EMACO) leaving future fertility a coin toss but more than a hysterectomy. By May 2022 the tumor marker was gone, but it was 6 months of intense monitoring and 6 months of monthly monitoring. The whole time she was in an intense spiraling depression questioning life. The meaning of all it, and how all her childhood trauma was fair. That no god would let a child live that. And questioning every decision in her life and wondering what things could have been like if she went a different direction. Feeling like she missed out on opportunities early in life. If this might be all there is (we have been together since she was 17). She said she felt like reality wasn't real and this was make believe at times.
Summer 2022 she made a new mom friend. She was pretty toxic and selfish. She used my wife for personal benefit and to go places. Yelled at her kids and treated the oldest from a prior marriage as less than (girl doesn't know her dad and when she mentioned she was part Mexican she freaked out and denied it because of how conservative and anti Mexican her new dad and his family is). Like never offered a dime, but expected food, gas, tickets, and gifts. She drove my wife nuts with that behavior. but she was desperate for a friend and loved her kids. Her friend would just talk shit about her partner pretty constantly and say my wife should be unhappy in her relationship too. Shit talking husbands behind their backs became like a mutual thing and I def hated it
Sometime 2023 she jumped into fantasy romance and fantasy smut /erotica. This progressed to an AI chat smut generator.
May 2023 monitoring was over and she was officially cancer free and had been on a health/mental health quest..
The mental health part started early in the year and she was seeing a therapist for depression and anxiety alone as well as her long list of childhood trauma. Off hand her therapist told her a few times she didn't know maybe just divorce me or something. I was super uncomfortable with this as it was completely outside her practicing scope and I didn't feel she should be providing relationship guidance, especially without me or the rest of the story. I felt a bit attacked and didn't even get the chance to give my perspective or account and felt that is pretty important after being here for a decade. A lot of negative points get omitted by her.
Summer 2023 she had some tough diagnosis for other chronic issues. Narcolepsy Dissociative Identity disorder Depression And a sleep disorder
I initially rejected this as I didn't want to accept these chronic and incurable conditions and insisted it has to be something else, that she's okay. It was taken as rejection of her.
Fall 2023 she reached out to a childhood ex bf a few states away and started an emotional affair. They kept in infrequent contact over the years and nothing ever came of it before. He has been unable to move past her or have meaningful relationships in 13 years. At first he pushed her away and rejected it, but after a month by Nov it was a thing. Texting saying I shouldn't worried because they dated before, but he ended up coming out as gay, calls in private, staying later after work. I gave it the benefit of the doubt but got burned. I found out in December the second time she wanted a private call in the car, and I checked her phone.
We started marriage counseling in Jan and I started my own therapy search as well as a condition of hers. She agreed to no longer contact the boy showed me the sent message ending it and blocked him. By Feb I found him listed in her phone as Saraa and found deleted texts and calls. In therapy she wanted to keep him as a friend and only friend and I tried this. She asked if a PO box would be okay for a birthday present, and I said no. That it crossed a line. It was also super close to Valentine's day. Next therapy I couldn't handle the anxiety and feeling physically ill when she used her phone, and we went through Jan again break off block etc.
In Feb the therapist recommended a separate space for conflict as we work on things. That too much conflict triggered her dissociative identity disorder. It was either a hotel as needed or a rv/camper. My wife was set on a camper and the only way to get a newer one was to add my credit/income to hers for a loan and I was uncomfortable on a $20k purchase. She assured me the intent of the camper was working on us and not separating/divorcing. She brought up me not having chores completely done all the time and I poured myself into it if that was making her unhappy over the years.
During this time in March I found out she got the secret PO box and had yet again resumed texting entirely deleting her logs. She had valentines gifts. birthday gifts, long distance electronic bracelets, and had an easter basket coming. Everything was put together into a box to be gotten rid of. That effort I had for chores and making everything spotless kind of died. Like there was that recognition that that obviously wasn't the problem. We lived completely separately for a few weeks until she could make a choice. We split our son and had almost zero interaction. Eventually she chose and I saw a notebook she used once in December. Basically she has started outlining a story envisioning herself as the lead character in once of her romantic fantasies and cast me and the other man as competing love interests
April and early may there was nothing. We did therapy and tackled our issues slowly. Together. Our future plans: college vs baby and the ticking clock of fertility and ifs after chemo. Etc
Last week she was going out for lilac picking and didn't text me for 2 hours and said she was at the beach. Later she showed me something in her email and I saw discord emails about a pw change and login. One bad gut feeling later and the next morning I see she deleted the discord emails and check our phone plan and her phone and see missing texts. I put in a phone record request for recent texts and text/call logs. She woke up and I said it did it and she said I was disgusting. Then admitted I was right.
She says after breaking it off she was worried he would hurt himself and just wanted to be sure he was okay and admitted to 3 texts and the discord call which i verified. Said that he was in therapy for his issues. She said she didn't want to bring it up to me because I would make it a fight and she thought she could just get away with a few texts to make sure. That she felt responsible for how much he had been hurt too.
So I did what I do with extreme anxiety and checked her work bag. I found an old journal they shared Jan to mid-march. Kind of confirmed again what was going on. Also revealed she lied to me about the trailer, or him? She couldn't get it without me and told him it was to work on separating from me easier. Yeah I kept pics in case this goes downhill because yeah, I'll gun for EVERYTHING. I'm sure that being tricked into signing a $20k contract under false pretenses for her personal benefit, secret po boxes, lying to our therapist repeatedly, secret texts, expecting gifts from the other man, career over spending time with family and a serious personality disorder on top of narcolepsy making a job hard to keep down wont do her favors at divorce/custody hearings.
So its all fresh for me again. I already have extreme anxiety and the autism doesn't help with reading/understanding people the best, although my gut intuition and pattern recognition are catching stuff fine.
WHERE I THINK I AM
Looking back, I can see that the personality disorder and narcolepsy are apparent. Dream delusion and memory issues from the narcolepsy make separating dream from reality hard as well as just recalling what happened. So whether not the "not feeling like reality is real" was a dream delusion or a full-blown dissociative episode... I can also see that messaging him was a "new" personality state. Maybe it's a manifestation of the trauma of nearly dying from cancer, maybe it's a fragment of her young identity that was created to survive her traumatic childhood resurfacing after nearly dying. But her interests and perspective massively shifted at that time and there was a clear separation between her with me and her with him. It was like this regression back to 15. Like she was molding an identity to fit his desires and interests. She took up tarot and witchy books, different music, painting, rockhounding (my interest), dried bouquets, dyed her hair and got multiple piercings. Even getting caught there was that click in her whole demeanor.
I can see how her friend may have jaded her towards me by all the shit she talked about HER husband. I can see that throwing herself into fantasy smut to cope flooded her with portrayals of unrealistic romance. That she progressed that by using an AI smut bot to hold those conversations with. Then she directly tried to process her own reality through the lens of those novels in that journal.
This "relationship" was "I love you, we can be together in 10 years". He wasn't going to leave his cushy job. Or his state. He didn't want to be a stepdad. He didn't want to support her career or have any involvement in it. She couldn't leave my state. Never saw illicit photos. No discussion of sex. It was like exactly what you think some lovestruck preteens would come up with. Like just a fantasy. No talk of bills or finances. Of moving. Of any substantial tangible entanglement.
Somehow that's easier to handle
I love her and don't want to leave her. But i desperately think she needs serious help and have told her I want her to do therapy 2x a month (on top of marriage therapy 2x).
I also think if a secret or deleted text happens again, I've got to take off the kid gloves and fight for it all. Cause well showing up at the dude's door would end in prison.
I'm sure this happening right as I fully got over last time and took a trust leap of faith on a "gay" friend that burned me will make it harder. I get the last few years have been garbage luck and I get almost dying can have profound affects though. She had been utterly loyal for 5 years (believe me I checked as we agreed to ie open book). Tying to see this with an open mind.
I get my exact expectations are muddy and part of this is just putting it into words to process for me, but I value if someone has any good input

“Ready to make history, baby?”
I looked over toward Sheila as she stood on the gangplank leading up to The Burger. I still couldn’t believe she named our research ship ‘The Burger’... emotional relevance be damned.
“It's not exactly history,” I corrected.
“Oh come on! If your survey is right, this trench might run even deeper than the Challenger Deep, and you’re gonna be the first person to explore it! How is that not exciting?”
“Might be deeper, we only have a limited amount of topological data. And even if it is deeper, we’re talking only a few hundred feet at most, it’s really not that im-”
Sheila silenced me with a kiss.
“Nerd.” She teased, and I found myself too flustered to reply. After five years of marriage, she still could leave me speechless with just a kiss. God… how did someone like me end up with a woman like that?
Then again, how did someone like me end up where I was in general? It was honestly a little overwhelming. Standing on the dock, getting ready to board that ship and join the ranks of Jacques Piccard and James Cameron (yes, that James Cameron) as one of the few people to take a manned submersible down to the deepest parts of the ocean. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little scared too. Diving down that deep could easily be a one way trip if even the slightest thing went wrong. My submarine would be experiencing between 600 to 1100 atmospheres of pressure and while we’d tested it over and over again to make sure it would actually be up for the challenge, there was still a lingering iota of doubt in the back of my mind. All that needed to go wrong was one little thing, and that would be it for me.
The scariest part is that I probably wouldn’t even know what had happened… I’d simply be gone… and Sheila would be alone. The thought of that caused a momentary spike of panic in my chest that almost made me want to call this whole thing off.
Almost.
But, then I felt her hand close around mine. I looked up into her bright blue eyes, and saw her gentle smile.
“You’re gonna be okay, hun,” She promised. “You and your team have been running the numbers, right? It’s gonna go just fine!”
I nodded slowly.
“It’s gonna go fine…” I repeated, before she leaned in to kiss me, and gently pulled me by the wrist up onto the deck of the Burger.
She was probably right.
It probably would be fine.
Probably…
The trench I’d be exploring was a fairly recent discovery, located south of Greenland, in a vast stretch of water situated directly between Newfoundland and Iceland. It’d been uncovered during a topological survey in the area, and my team had taken an interest in investigating it further. At minimum, it was believed to descend to about 35,000 feet deep (over 10,000 meters), although the current theory was that it might have run even deeper. Determining the exact depth of the yet unnamed chasm was just one of the intents of our dive. The rest was studying the organisms that might be found down there, and how they might have differed from the ones found in other deep ocean trenches (some variation being expected given the isolated environment they were developing in.)
I had to admit, it would be exciting to see what new life might have developed in a place such as this, especially if it ran even deeper than our predictions… and that excitement was enough to make me chase the fear of the risks out of my mind, even if it was only briefly. While Sheila went to make sure we were ready to embark, I caught myself wandering out toward the rear of the ship where my submarine, The Tempura, waited for me. Did this submarine deserve a better name than The Tempura? Probably. But, this was my project, so I got to name it and since Burger was already taken, Tempura was the next best name I had. I liked to think that the subs namesake might approve… if she hadn’t died fifteen years ago. Shrimp don’t live very long.
As the ship began to depart, I caught myself reminiscing on how I’d ended up here… it really was all because of those damn shrimp, wasn’t it? Well… maybe not all because of the shrimp. But they were certainly part of it. Back when I was a lot younger, I never really gave much of a shit about anything at all. I guess I did have a thing for the ocean… the great, romantic vastness of it. The sense of adventure that it beckoned with. The endless mysteries that lay within its dark depths. I used to read about it all the time when I was a kid and I especially loved the classic adventures: Verne’s 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, and Melville’s Moby Dick… but that love was just confined to my books. I didn’t really have any interest in actually going out and seeing the ocean. Hell, the idea of going to a beach and standing in the sun with my toes in the sand seemed miserable to me. I was happier (although calling myself happy might’ve been a little disingenuous) alone in my room, enjoying the company of books as opposed to people.
Then came the shrimp.
One of my online friends kept them as a hobby. He used to post pictures of his tanks all the time, and I always thought they looked kinda cool. He said that if I was interested in them, I should try keeping some for myself, and during a particularly bad bout of depression, I figured that maybe it might be worth a shot. So, I bought a cheap tank and some cheap decorations, bought myself some shrimp… and promptly watched them die over the next few weeks. That… that bothered me. I don’t know why but… it really bothered me. I’m still not entirely sure how to describe what it was that I was feeling. Guilt? Defeat? Shame? Here I was, trying to set up a habitat for these creatures just to have something to do to keep the suicidal ideation at bay, and I’d failed almost right out of the gate.
Was I just that bad? Was I just that much of a failure? Was this just going to go to shit just like everything else in my life did, because I was just such an abysmal piece of shit who barely deserved the life she had? Had I just not tried hard enough? Was I too apathetic? What had happened? What went wrong?
It bothered me.
It bothered me enough that I made up my mind to just dump the remaining shrimp down the toilet and toss everything. Forget about it. Move on. End of story. But… that wasn’t fair, was it? The shrimp didn’t all deserve to die just because I couldn’t be bothered, did they? Sure, they were just shrimp, but they were alive too, just like me. They deserved to be alive.
I owed it to them to try and keep them alive, didn’t I?
So… I didn’t dump the shrimp.
Instead, I started doing some reading. Started looking into what I was doing wrong and how to do it all better. I actually got really into it and a few months later, I had a nice planted tank. Looking back, it was amateur shit… but it made me happy. I’d even picked out names for my two favorite shrimp. Burger and Tempura. They’d been the last survivors of my original batch, and they were the ones I ended up caring about the most. Caring for Burger and Tempura gave me a purpose. It became an obsession… and that little obsession drove me to finally start turning my life around.
Like I said, shrimp don’t live for very long. Burger and Tempura were long dead by the time I graduated with a degree in Marine Biology. But they were the ones who inspired me to finally get my life in order. Hell, the shrimp were half the reason that I met Sheila. She was something of an aquarium fanatic too… we’d met on a forum, and gotten to talking. I found out that she just so happened to be studying Marine Biology at another school, and we bonded pretty quickly after that. After graduation, I moved to California to be with her and after that, the rest is history. She was my rock. She was the one who always pushed me to be the best possible version of myself… and I loved her more than I ever knew I could love someone.
A glance back at the shore, fading into the distance tore me out of my reminiscing, and I shifted my focus to the present, going over The Tempura to perform some quick checks. My colleagues and I would be checking and rechecking the submarine over the next two days as we made our way toward the dive spot. Considering the danger that descending that deep posed, I didn’t want to take a single unnecessary risk.
I had too much to live for, after all.
***
The day of the dive, I couldn’t notice how excited the rest of the crew seemed… well… Sheila’s usual crew seemed excited. I guess to them, this was just another research expedition, no different than the ones Sheila usually took this ship out on. Lately her research had been focused on the analysis and study of whale calls. Her recent voyages had involved following their pods, recording their calls and playing them back to see how the whales reacted. It was fascinating stuff, but my research was admittedly a lot different than that.
My obsession had drawn me to the denizens of the deep sea. I’d used The Burger for expeditions before, although none of them had been on quite the same scale as this one. Up until today, the most ambitious thing I’d done was send down unmanned submersibles with cameras. Those submersibles had typically returned. We had lost a few early on due to technical glitches, but the past few years had been blissfully uneventful. Logically, this dive would probably be uneventful as well. But it was still hard to get the jitters out of my head.
My team and I did the final checks necessary to make sure that The Tempura was good to go, before setting up the crane to begin lifting it up. In less than an hour, I’d be inside of that thing, descending to the darkest depths of the ocean.
It didn’t feel real.
I felt Sheila’s hand on my shoulder, and looked over at her.
“Moment of truth, huh?” She asked. She probably meant it to sound encouraging, but it just sounded ominous.
“Moment of truth…” I replied.
“You’re gonna be okay, honey. I know you will.”
She reached out to gently squeeze my hand and gave me a reassuring smile that I meekly returned.
“Yeah, it’s gonna be okay,” I agreed, although there was an element of a lie in it. Statistically, yes. It probably WOULD be okay. But there was that lingering anxiety in the back of my mind that just wouldn’t go away. I looked quietly out at the submarine before me and couldn’t shake the thought that it sort of looked like a giant coffin. Unconsciously, I found myself squeezing Sheila’s hand tighter than normal. She just held me close and pressed a kiss to the top of my head, before gently rubbing my back.
“You’ll be okay,” She promised.
“Dr. Jenner, we’re ready for you.” I heard one of my colleagues say.
Moment of truth.
I took one last look at Sheila, and gave her a quick kiss on the lips for luck. She smiled at me, and I smiled back anxiously at her before heading over toward the submarine.
The crew helped me enter the cockpit and get myself situated inside. The cockpit of the Tempura was fairly cramped and not particularly comfortable. Space and comfort aren’t really luxuries you can afford in a submarine like this. The instruments I needed took up a lot of space, leaving little room for me in there… and I am not a very big person.
Once I was inside, they sealed the hatch. Then the diagnostics checks began.
“Grayson, can you hear us in there?” I heard Sheila say through the radio.
“Loud and clear,” I replied.
“Great. We’ll keep in constant radio contact, just to monitor the signal. In the meanwhile, how’s everything looking in there?”
“Green across the board so far,” I said, although I hadn’t finished running all my final checks yet. Ultimately, nothing was out of place.
This submarine was as good to go as it was going to get.
“I’m all good in here,” I said once I was done. “You can drop me when you’re ready.”
“You got it, honey. Let’s get you in the water, run one final round of tests and start lowering you down.”
A short while later, I felt the submarine begin to move as the crane lifted it off the deck and lowered it into the water. The Tempura honestly resembled its namesake in a way, being long and cigar shaped, only vertically oriented instead of horizontally oriented. We’d admittedly taken more than a few design cues from James Cameron’s Deepsea Challenger. Why fix what isn’t broken, after all?
Once I was in the water, a 1000 pound releasable ballast weight would cause the submarine to sink. Releasing that weight was also my ticket back to the surface, and I could either trigger it from inside the cockpit, or, in the event that the release failed for any reason, it would trigger automatically after roughly 12 hours of exposure to salt water.
Ideally, this would be the first of a number of dives I’d be undertaking… and if all went according to plan, the Tempura could be the first of many similar submarines that would allow other researchers to safely and effectively descend to extreme depths. If all went well, this could be a massive leap forward for researchers like me, allowing us to better explore the deepest depths of the Hadal Zone and learn all we could about the ecosystems down there via direct observation.
If all went well.
If.
Through the viewport, I watched as I was lowered into the ocean. A few of the other crew members had donned diving gear to escort me down, and after they did their final checks and I did mine, we were fully ready to go.
“All’s green across the board,” I said into the radio. “You can start my descent.”
“I hear you, honey,” Sheila replied. “We’re letting you go. Have fun down there.”
“Yeah, I’ll try…” I said quietly as finally, my submarine began its descent.
I took a deep breath, and told myself again that everything would go fine. We had checked everything on this submarine. We’d tested it rigorously. I wouldn’t have allowed myself to set foot inside of it if I hadn’t personally assured that it was safe. But anxiety never really goes away, does it? The crew couldn’t accompany me far. After only a few meters, they fell behind me as I sank deeper and deeper into the infinite, empty blue of the ocean. Soon after, the tether was released.
I was officially on my own.
“60 feet,” I heard Sheila say over the radio. “How are you doing in there?”
“Good,” I replied. “Doing… doing good.”
The submarine continued to descend. Through the viewport, I could see a few stray fish, but nothing particularly eye catching. I almost felt alone down there… almost…
“120 feet…” Sheila said.
“Still doing good,” I replied.
The descent continued, as the waters slowly grew darker and darker.
“400 feet…”
Everything around me just kept getting darker and darker. Only a fraction of the light from the sun ever reached these depths… and I’d be lying if I said that darkness didn’t feel a little… oppressive.
“800 feet… still feeling good?”
“Yeah, still feeling good…” I said, although it was a bit of a lie. If anything, I was second guessing all of this, but I wasn’t about to say that out loud.
“1000 feet… still good?”
“Still good…” I murmured. “I hear you loud and clear.”
Deeper… deeper… deeper.
“1500 feet…”
Three miles. I was three miles away from home. Three miles away from Sheila.
“2000 feet…”
Still a ways to go.
“3000 feet…”
By this point, it was fully dark outside of my cockpit. Outside, all I could see was inky darkness. Even the submarine’s lights didn’t really cut through it. And the kicker? Relatively speaking, I wasn’t that deep. Fishing trawlers reached deeper than this. Better to conserve power until I was at the bottom. My descent continued.
“6000 feet… still good?”
“Still good…”
The check ins were becoming less frequent. My descent still continued… deeper… deeper… deeper. By now, I’d entered the Hadal Zone. But there was still so much deeper o go.
“8000 feet…”
This was past the depths that most whales would dive to… and I still had a ways to go.
“10,000 feet.”
This was close to where the ocean floor usually bottomed out… and yet there was still so much further to go. No. I was really only a third of the way there. How long had it been?Not much had happened beyond my descent and a few sightings out of my viewport, but time had been passing. A glance at my watch confirmed it’d been almost an hour since I’d started to sink… and I knew I wasn’t even close to the bottom yet. The submarine continued to descend, sinking ever deeper as I dropped into an infinite darkness that few had ever dared to witness.
“15,000 feet.”
This check in came later than the others. At this point, Sheila and the crew must have figured that no news was good news, and they were right. I just continued to sink peacefully, down into the crushing depths of the ocean.
These were the depths that one might normally find deep sea fish… and yet I was going somewhere even deeper than that.
“20,000 feet…”
So close…
I continued to sink.
“25,000 feet.”
Soon… and finally…
“30,000 feet. You still doing alright, honey?”
“Yeah… yeah, I’m doing good,” I assured her. I was so close…
By this point, my real work had begun. I’d engaged the lights and begun documenting what little I could see using the on board cameras. Granted, there wasn’t much life at these depths and what little there was, was scarcely documented. Most of what was down here consisted of invertebrates and microscopic life that seemed to float past my viewport.
The light seemed to draw a few creatures in search of food. Small, hardy things that resembled shrimp.
“How’s it looking, Grayson?”
“Dark,” I said, half joking. “We’ve got some life… shrimp. They’re translucent. Can’t get a great look at them… but we’ll see what the cameras pick up.”
“They’ve recognized you as a friend,” Sheila said. I could almost see the smile on her lips as she said it.
“Yeah…” I replied, “Tempura sent them a message, told them I’d be down. How am I looking on depth?”
“35,000 feet… you seeing a bottom yet?”
“No… not that I would until I was there.”
“Damn… how deep does this go?”
“It can’t go that deep…” I murmured, although I really wasn’t so sure about that.
The submarine continued to sink…
36,000 feet…
37,000 feet…
38,000 feet… and then finally, just past the 39,000 foot mark, I finally saw solid ground below me.
Looking through my viewport, I could see a familiar dark brown diatomaceous sludge, covering the seafloor. Microscopic life, likely similar to what had been observed in other deep sea trenches, such as the Challenger Deep.
I needed to gather a sample.
As my submarine reached the bottom, I extended the mechanical arms, pressed flat against the surface of the Tempura, and opened the collection port near the bottom of the ship. Slowly, I sifted some of the sludge into the port. My disturbance of the seafloor kicked up a cloud of the microbial colony, and I could’ve sworn I saw something wiggling through the debris. A pale, white thing, perhaps some sort of sea cucumber? I hastily angled my submarines camera to try and catch a glimpse of it, before returning to my collection. Even in this forlorn place, there was still so much to see! And here I was… completely forgetting my fear as the excitement took hold of me! Few people had ever been down to these unfathomable depths… and yet here I was.
It didn’t feel real but it was! I had reached the deepest part of the ocean!
“How’s it going down there?” I heard Sheila ask. Her voice was a little garbled. The connection down here was faltering.
“It’s beautiful…” I said. “I can’t wait for you to see it!”
“I’ll bet…”
“I’m going to do a sweep of the area, see what samples I can gather,” I said. “What’s my time right now?”
“Three hours. You’ve got nine before your connection to the weight deteriorates and you start to ascend.”
“I’ll make the most of it,” I said. The plan was only to stay down there for six hours, and I didn’t want to push that limit. Life support would only last me for so long, and one little error was all it would take for the ungodly pressure down here to crush me.
I began to move the submarine. Mobility was limited. This thing wasn’t built to travel far. But I still had some limited movement. I recorded all that I could, filming the shrimp that investigated my light, and the things that slithered and crawled through the muck, likely feeding on the carpet of single celled organisms that populated these depths.
The first two hours were… well… I hesitate to call them uneventful, they were actually very fascinating, but little of note happened beyond my recording of a few specimens.
Midway through the third hour though, as I was reaching one of the rock walls of the abyss, I noticed something just above the edge of my viewport swimming away from the light. I could’ve sworn I saw slender, pale tentacles of some sort. Was that a squid? Were there squid down this deep? I wasn’t aware of any species of known squid who could reach these depths… but in this unknown place, what use was the known?
I moved my light and my camera to try and catch another glimpse of it, but whatever it was, it seemed to be gone. Maybe I’d see another one. I still had plenty of time.
“You made a noise. What’d you see?” Sheila asked.
“Something big… I think,” I said.
“Down there? Like a fish?”
“Squid. You wouldn’t find any vertebrates down this deep… the pressure would crush their bones.”
“Jeez…”
I didn’t reply to that, still searching for the thing I’d seen. I shone my light up along the walls of the chasm and angled my camera up as far as it would go. I could see a few volcanic vents, spewing dark clouds into the darkness, and more diatoms. But not much else. Strange invertebrates crawled along the walls. Small creatures, no bigger than an inch long. Related to isopods, perhaps? If I could collect one as a sample, I would have… although taking any of those back to the surface would surely kill them. They were built to live under the impossible pressure of these depths. Taking them to the surface would rip them apart.
I went back to my research, and it wasn’t long until I saw something in the darkness, just on the edge of where my flashlight reached. Trailing white tendrils, snaking their way through the darkness. My eyes narrowed as I moved the submarine forward, trying to catch whatever it was in the light. I saw the shape move, its body turning… I saw its tendrils unfurling. Whatever this was, it was big. It was almost as big as The Tempura… although it was also slender. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought I was looking at some sort of floating debris, but this far down? No. And debris wouldn’t move like that.
This had to be a deepsea squid… or perhaps some other type of cephalopod? Something that preyed upon the various invertebrates down here, perhaps? It seemed to float, just out of sight for a bit, as I tried to get closer. I angled up my light to get a better look at it. The light seemed to shine through it, like some sort of ghost… but I did manage to get a look at it.
Although that look…
That single look made me freeze up.
This things slender tendrils certainly resembled a cephalopod of some sort, but the rest of it… the rest of it looked like something else entirely. Its body was thin, emaciated and translucent, yet despite that it still had characteristics that almost seemed… human. It wasn’t human! Not by any stretch of imagination, but the resemblance was there. It almost reminded me of an exhibit I’d seen in a museum once, depicting a preserved, fully removed human nervous system. I could see a similar shape in its translucent body. Its head seemed almost human as well… albeit with no eyes, and a lamprey like mouth I could only describe as fleshy yet crablike.
Still, despite having no eyes I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was looking at me. And that was when I felt something hit the submarine.
I felt a sudden jolt of panic in my chest. For a moment, I thought that the pressure had started to crush me, but no… no, everything was still fine. Something had just hit me. But what? It didn’t take long before I got my answer.
Another pale creature floated past my viewport, swirling gracefully in the cold dark waters. I watched it for a moment with wide eyes, before noticing its ‘head’ turning slightly toward me. Then, almost instantly, it launched itself at the submarine, darting toward me with blinding speed.
I heard a distinct THUD as its body collided with me, and I could see its pale tendrils pressing against the viewport, twisting and writhing violently. It was trying to attack me. The first creature that I’d seen lunged as well, pounding on my submarine with another THUD. And moments later, I could hear more impacts against the hull. There were more of them… and they did not like having me down there.
“What’s going on?” Sheila asked.
“Somebody doesn’t like me…” I said. “One of the animals down here… some kind of squid, it’s just started attacking the hull.”
“How bad is the damage?”
“Not sure… could be nothing, could be-”
I felt the submarine shake as I tried to move it. The thrusters that pushed me forward weren't responding. Had something gotten caught in it? One of the creatures perhaps?
“Grayson?!” Sheila asked.
“Lost propulsion…” I said. “Fuck… I can’t move.”
“Then drop the weight and come up!”
“No, it’s fine, there’s no other damage, I can still use the port and starboard thrusters to-”
“Grayson!”
I paused. There was genuine panic in her voice… enough to make me realize that even if these things stood little chance of actually breaching the hull, taking the risk would be a fatal mistake.
“I’m on my way up…” I finally said, before reaching out to disengage the ballast weights.
Immediately, I felt myself beginning to rise, although the tentacles clinging to my viewport didn’t disappear.
“We’ve got you…” Sheila said. “Rising up to 38,000 feet.”
The submarine continued to rise, but the creatures clinging to me went nowhere. In fact… I was sure I could see more of them. More pale shapes coming up through the darkness, and these ones filled me with dread. I thought I had been looking at some sort of eerie undiscovered life. But seeing what was coming up toward me now… I knew that I was looking at so much more. The creatures swimming up toward me through the darkness carried weapons… makeshift stone spears and daggers. Primitive tools… but tools all the same.
Signs that these were more than just undiscovered animals.
Much. Much more.
The word: ‘Mermaids’ crossed through my mind, but these were something far different than the ones I’d heard of in folklore. These looked like they’d swam out of the depths of hell itself. Boneless pale tendrils reached for me… and they were getting closer. The pale shapes reached my submarine as I rose higher. I kept praying to whatever God may be listening that the dropping pressure would force them off. The air in a submarine is pressurized, so during normal operation, there should have been no danger of decompression sickness for me.
For them… well… normally I’d feel a little guilty about subjecting an undiscovered species of deep sea mermaids to the horrors of the Bends. But given my circumstances, I didn’t have a lot of other options.
They didn’t let go, though.
They should have. But they didn’t.
What were these things?
I saw a splayed hand press against my viewport. Or… it somewhat resembled a hand. It had suckers on it, like a tentacle and the ‘fingers’ curled open like tentacles. The creature crawled over my viewport, clinging to The Tempura as it rose, and I could see the folds of its crablike mouth opening and pressing against the glass. I could see some sort of bile rising up through its translucent throat, before it secreted it all over my viewport. Was it trying to digest me? Was that how these things fed? How strong were its stomach acids? Were they strong enough to-
The window cracked.
My heart skipped a beat.
“No… no, no no…”
“Grayson, what’s wrong?!”
“They cracked the window… S-Sheila they… oh God… oh fuck, they just…”
“THEY DID WHAT?”
“It’s secreting some sort of enzyme… it’s on the window, it’s… FUCK… I’m gonna die… I’m gonna die… I’m gonna die…”
“You’re not gonna die, baby! Just… just keep ascending, okay? You’re at 30,000 feet… just keep going…”
I nodded, and kept on rising, although the question of whether or not the rest of the creatures were trying to digest the other parts of my submarine floated through my mind. How much damage could The Tempura take before it imploded? How much longer did I have? The submarine still continued to rise… 25,000 feet… almost halfway home… almost… almost.
The creature outside of my viewport slithered along the glass, searching for a better area to try and digest. Past him, I noticed a few of his companions dropping off. Maybe the change in pressure finally was getting to them?
From the corner of my eye, I suddenly noticed a flashing light. A warning. The hydraulics on one of the Tempura’s arms were shot… what else was damaged?
I checked my oxygen levels. 32%.
I should’ve had at least 14 hours of air. I’d only been down there for about 6 hours… I shouldn’t have been this low.
31%.
No… no, no, no, no… they’d damaged the air tanks!
30%.
29%
“20,000 feet!” Sheila said. “You still with me, baby?”
“Y-yeah…” I said. I didn’t mention my air situation. I didn’t need to worry her further.
The submarine continued its ascent.
15,000 feet.
24%. I was running out of time.
The creatures still clung to the Tempura. How had the pressure change not killed them yet? My oxygen was dropping faster than before. I was hemorrhaging air. Another crack formed across my viewport. I let out a little, involuntary gasp before trying to force myself to stop hyperventilating.
“Grayson, what was that?”
“I-it’s fine…” I stammered, “It’s fine!”
“Grayson what the hell is going on down there?!”
“They’re still on the submarine… they’re still…” I paused, looking at my oxygen levels. “19%...”
“19% of what? Grayson what’s going on!”
I paused.
18%.
“Air… I’m… I’m losing air…”
“That’s fine, you’re going to make it!” She said, although I heard her voice cracking a little. “You’re gonna make it!”
I didn’t answer.
12,000 feet.
11,000 feet…
My oxygen level continued to drop.
15%.
14%.
12%.
9,000 feet.
The creatures still clung to me, as the submarine continued to rise. The one on my viewport was still there, slowly crawling along the glass again. I stared into its eyeless face and swore I was looking at the face of my killer.
7,000 feet…
Oxygen had dropped to 9%. It dropped to 8% before I even got to 6,000 feet. I was going to die here…
The viewport cracked again and I squeezed my eyes shut. The submarine rocked. I was sure one of the thrusters had been damaged. My ascent slowed.
“Grayson, what’s going on?”
“I’m sorry Sheila…”
Another crack spread across my viewport.
“I’m… I’m not making it back up…”
“YES YOU ARE!”
“I’m sorry…” The tears started to come as the reality of my death became clearer and clearer… this was it.
“YOU’RE COMING BACK UP, YOU HEAR ME! GODDAMNIT, I’LL BRING YOU BACK UP!”
“I love you…”
That creatures face pressed against the glass. It vomited more of its stomach acid onto the cracked glass, and I wondered if this might finally be what broke it. Part of me hoped it would be… the one good thing about dying this deep was that at least I’d die quickly. My suffering would be over. Then, the creature suddenly pulled back, twisting and writhing violently. I saw other shapes moving past it in the water, other ‘mermaids’ that had been clinging to the submarine.
Something was agitating them.
Something was scaring them off.
Then I heard it, over the radio… whale songs.
“What the hell…?”
“Grayson, are you still there?!”
“I… they’re finally breaking off. Sheila, what did you do?”
“I’m broadcasting some of the orca recordings we’ve been using. Are they still clinging to you?”
“No! They’re backing off! I… whatever you’re doing, keep doing it!”
The submarine kept rising.
5,000 feet.
4,000 feet.
4% oxygen.
I could still do this, right?
The submarine continued to rise.
3%.
3,000 feet.
2,000 feet.
2%.
1,000 feet… so close… I was so close…
I could almost see the surface through my viewport, rushing up toward me. I tried not to breathe. Tried not to move. All I did was hope.
500 feet.
I closed my eyes.
“Grayson we have your signal, we’re coming to pick you up!”
Sheila’s voice sounded so far away as my submarine finally breached the surface of the water… and with the last of my strength, I pulled the emergency release on the hatch, and threw it open, taking in lungful after lungful of fresh salty air.
I didn’t dare so much as touch the water beneath me… but I was topside again, and in the distance, I could see The Burger!
“We see you!” Sheila said, “We’ve got you baby… we’ve got you…”
“I see you too…” I said through the tears. “Thank you… thank you…” I didn’t have any words left in me after that.
As soon as I was back on the ship, I collapsed into Sheila’s arms, breaking down into tears as I clung to her, terrified that at any moment, some sort of unspoken other shoe would drop and I’d lose her all over again.
“Shh… it’s alright baby… I’ve got you… you’re safe… you’re safe…” I felt her fingers running through my air and I knew that what she said was true.
I was home.
I was safe.
***
I left my colleagues to review the data that the Tempura gathered during its short expedition. As far as I know, they haven’t published anything. I have a few ideas as to why, but I’ll keep those to myself. Let’s just say that some people would rather this information not become public.
I have a feeling that the Tempura may not be diving again for some time, if ever. I will confess that I do consider that a bit of a shame. Despite everything… I would consider it a success. It endured far more stressful conditions than I had expected, and from what I heard, required fewer repairs than I’d thought it would. But, even if it was approved for another dive, it wouldn’t be me piloting it. No. I will never be setting foot inside of that machine again, nor will I ever be returning to what my colleagues have been quietly referring to as ‘The Jenner Trench’.
I can’t.
Every night, I wake up crying after dreaming of pale shapes outside of my cracked viewport, clinging to Sheila and sobbing. I can’t put myself in that situation again.
I can’t.
Instead, I think I’m going to spend the next few years on solid ground. There’s a teaching position available at a local university. I think that might be the best place for me right now. Who knows, maybe I can help some other deadbeat discover a passion for marine biology.
After everything, my love for the sea remains unchanged… I’m just a little more wary of it, these days.

Hii! My name is Sophia and I’m a 16 year old girl looking to exchange stylish letters/small packages with a penpal :D I also don’t mind just sending messages to each other here on Reddit, or a different platform you may be comfortable with!
Let’s set one thing straight… I am extremely lonely! I haven’t had a real connection or conversation with anyone for a long time and I’m need of someone to talk to! I don’t mind any conversation, wether it’s deep and personal or if it’s just something about your day. We can talk about anything!! I have a great personality and just looking for a real human connection.
I’ve been homeschooled for a long time, since the past 8 years! So I’m not very social, and I have zero friends, and I mean that literally 😅 Unless you count my journal as one! But just because I don’t have friends, doesn’t mean I don’t know how to make a great conversation 😉 I have so much to talk about, our conversations could go on for a long time with white I have stored in here 🧠
I’m not very focused on school, I just do the assigned work and go to classes and that’s it, nothing extra! It’s just really hard for me to focus on it, I don’t feel happy doing it and doesn’t have anything to do with what my future career is going to be 🎤 Being a singesongwriter is my goal for the future, and yes to most people it probably sounds silly and think it’s not possible, but if it was then would be have any musicians today? I like to think that almost anything is possible!! 🌟💭 I honestly can’t say if I’m good or bad. I’ve been singing almost non stop for the past six years. Of course there are some things I need to improve on though. The thing is.. I’ve never sang in front of anyone before! Not even my own parents. I sing in front of my brother, but he’s really young so he can’t criticize me 😣
I love watching shows and movies! My favorite genres are romance and comedy the most but I like others too. I also watch crime/investigation shows, it’s always interesting and I have so many recommendations! I have been watching many different shows for the past couple of weeks, it’s very entertaining. I’m always open to recommendations as I usually stick to watching the same things in rotation…which can get boring 😓 My favorite show (anime), is One Piece!! If you don’t like One Piece, then I’m not sure I can talk to you… just kidding 😂 It’s something my entire family likes watching together, we’re currently starting the Whole Cake Island Arc! No spoilers please, I’ve already seen too many 😭
I like drawing, coloring, doodling. I have a journal that I like to decorate with stickers and cute little designs, which is what I plan to do in our letters!! I’m not the best, but I’m not the worst either 😄📝
I have an “online business.” I sell here on Reddit and other platforms as well. I sell miniature toys and have been doing so for over a year. I make a decent amount of money from it! 🤑😅
I love cats, flowers/plants/nature 💐, both my parents are amazing cooks so it’s hard to choose a favorite dish 😬, one of my favorite colors is blue, and I can describe what I look like in a private chat if you’re interested in knowing!
I’m very serious about skincare, I had really horrible acne and after all these years I’ve finally been able to clear it up completely 🤩 My skin has never been more radiant :D Still needs work in some places though, I am always open to hearing what you think are the best products, or products that you’ve used that you feel are amazing! Im half Korean, and have always wanted to try Korean/Japanese skincare products. Im not very big on makeup, I don’t wear any. I’m working on showing my natural beauty, and also because I don’t want my skin to break out 😅 I like wearing lipgloss and that’s about it :o
I’ve been through some really dark times and I’ve found the easiest way to let your feelings out is by writing it out in a journal, which is what I’ve been doing recently! My young brain is still growing so it’s hard to process what I see and hear sometimes, and I talk inside my head a lot to try and process it, but the best way to make sense of it all is by writing out what you really feel ❤️‍🩹 But, just know that even if you may be going through something terrible, that it will eventually come to an end, because life is not that cruel and has to balance negative and positive. It’s what I’ve learned and seen, that’s why we have so many emotions because we can’t just be happy all the time, and life can’t just give you happy moments every day, sometimes you need sad/bad days in order to appreciate the good ones! I realized that the past few years I haven’t done anything productive or tried to make myself feel better. But that’s changing! I’ve starting exercising, journaling, upgraded skincare routine, eating healthier and more nutritious hearty foods, and hoping to keep it up! Remember to love yourself and don’t neglect your body, and always take care of yourself 😙 And hopefully once we start chatting, you’ll feel comfortable sharing any dark times you’ve been through!
I’m looking for a penpal from anywhere, male or female!! And hopefully also around my age (16-25), but age doesn’t really matter to me, it’s just a number after all! 💌 We can send letters, chat here on Reddit (or somewhere else if you’d like) or little packages with things each of us like ours letters inside! I’ll be sure to design the letters in an aesthetic you like ✨ I really just want to talk about anything and everything, whatever we want!! Hopefully it can turn into a long lasting friendship 💝
Message me if you’re interested in becoming my penpal! There’s still so much you haven’t learned about me yet <3

The first scene Donnie looks like he is asleep on the road. He gets up and rides home. Why was he on the side of the road curled up like he was in the ending scene? On the refrigerator, a message "where's Donnie?" He's asleep.
This was a dream before death. Nothing in the dream was real. But, the dream did allow him to finish some things that a young boy would need to finish before he could call it a life. He did. He kissed his first love and more, and he was a hero. But it was a dream that foretold his death.
He never time traveled and the teacher didn't write "Cellar Door," and the optimist wasn't a child pornographer, and the old lady didn't write a time travel book.
For me it was an incredible movie, because in 1979 I had reservation on an American Airlines DC-10 which took off from Chicago and dropped an engine before falling onto Elk Grove Village killing all aboard in the largest plane crash in American history. Was I on that plane after all and simply changed dimensions, or am I waiting for that plane to crash in that first class seat? I ended up on a TWA flight in the back during a heavy thunderstorm.

Context I Avery 19 year old female and Lucy (Not her real name) 18 year old female have been friends for a year. I am a grade above her and we are in the same fine art activity. We are both on the colorguard team at my school.
Our team isn’t necessarily good, but we aren’t bad. (To the people who know Scholastic AA). For some reason Lucy is obsessed with the idea she looks like me. All because of a comment someone made to her. They walked up to her thinking it was me from a far. She has made it her life mission to make herself me.
She was a primary flag on my team and I am a primary rifle. Since I am a senior in school I’m not getting ready for next season. However, my director is making all members who have done at least one season try rifle. Lucy was excited to try rifle saying she can be like me. I thought this was sweet cause she looked up to me, but I was very wrong.
Lucy happened to be really good at rifle. Nothing against her she’s a great person to have on the team, but her ego has gone way up. She’s been making fun of people who drop their rifle or use the wrong technique and she always comes in for reassurance saying things like “Right Avery she needs to slow down her toss or right Avery she needs to put her left hand completely to the side.” It puts me in a position that makes me uncomfortable and i’ve told her to stop.
Lately she’s been dressing like me. She always used to wear a Tee shirt, shorts, and her hair down to rehearsal, but lately she’s been wearing Sports bras, leggings, and pulls her hair into a braid. Just like me. She used to march around saying she hates the color pink (She’s a major tom boy), but now she wears it saying it suits her. She even bought my perfume. I thought it was weird, but I didn’t say anything cause I’ll be gone within a week anyways because of Graduation.
She was starting to really piss me off when she would make comments like “Avery look we both have a pimple on our cheek.” I’m extremely insecure about acne. She knows this. She would say things like “our cycles are synced it’s like our bodies are the same person.” “We’re both on our 15th set of invisalign. Our teeth are getting straighter together.”
Yesterday I was getting ready for a banquet with Lucy and some other girls from the team. It’s all fun and games till Lucy pulls out almost the exact same dress as me. There is no way she wasn’t trying to copy. I was going for a Audrey Hepburn look with a black dress, gloves, pearls, and Prada sunglasses. Lucy pulls out a shorter black dress, gloves, pearls, black sunglasses. She then exclaimed “Omg twin we’re gonna look so good. It’s almost like great minds think alike or something. People won’t even be able to tell us apart.”
I was livid to say the least. She knew I had been planing on that outfit since last banquet. I let it go it was my senior banquet it was fine. I take photos with everyone and she’s doing her thing when she puts her arm around my boyfriend’s shoulder. I immediately stand up from our banquet table and grab her arm swinging it off him. She said “Sorry I thought it would be a cute picture cause he’s dressed to match us.” I cut her off and said “No Lucy he’s dressed to match me. I’m not sure what you think your doing wanting to become me and comparing yourself to me, but it needs to stop.” She then rolls her eyes and slumps in her chair. She mumbled under her breath “I don’t look like you. You look like me. Get it right. You’re so obsessed.”
I started to yell at her “You don’t look like me. Not even a little bit. Your eyes are blue and mine are green. Your hair is brown while mine is blonde. Your nose slopes down and mine slopes up at the end. Your chin is slightly pointed and my sticks out. My eyes are almond while yours are hooded. I’m 5’11 and you’re 5’3. Your boobs are bigger than mine. My feet are bigger than yours. We do not look alike.”
At this point everyone is looking at us. Most people know what i’m getting at cause they asked me days ago why she was copying me. Lucy starts to cry called me some names and ran off. I cut the night short and went home. I told my mom in the morning and she told me I should’ve let Lucy live out her fantasy for a week till I graduate. A couple of friends of Lucy have texted me and called me an Asshole. But I don’t think I am.
Am I the Asshole?

West coast Canadian 🇨🇦🇨🇦
~Heya ~
I'm 23 femme 5'4 from Canada / west coast looking for love the sailor Uranus to my Neptune 💛💚 The Amity to my Luz 🩶💜
I really miss getting a text from that special someone and it making my whole day and Someone who I can text all day and then call and the hours just fly by
I miss the cute pet names and I miss giving cute pet names I miss having someone to love and I have a lot of it for the right person and time and attention.
~Now for my hobbies and interests ~
I'm a huggee weeb I love animes and mangas I'll probably talk your ear off about current animes I'm watching
I'm also always looking for new recommendations trying to get out of my comfort zone ( as long as their not too bloody or gory ✖️✖️)
I love playing video games I'm not very good that them I'm not hardcore but I enjoy having a good time
~Some of my other hobbies are ~
Reading and writing Traveling 🗾 Hiking 🥾 cooking and baking
Crocheting I love gardening Photography
I'm also a cat parent to three cats and a dog Their really my best friends 🐈🐕 so this is a must please do not be allergic And please do not be scared of dogs
I love nature 🌄
My dream is to travel up the west coast seeing all the national parks and trails and national forests Oceans and lakes and rivers If I can do that my dream would be near complete
And eventually I would love see the northern lights and visit Japan to see the cherry blossoms 🌸🌸
While I do believe opposites attract I'd love to get to know someone with at least 4 common interests as me so we aren't too drastically different
I'd like to meet someone who's also preferably in Canada as it makes traveling slightly more easier But I'm okay with the US as long as it's not too far and on the west coast away And please be between the age of 22-28
✨✨✨And please oh please be emotionally mature I'm looking dating and having a relationship I'm also monogamous
I'm not into flings or just hanging out or friends ✨✨
Here are some icebreaker questions
⭐ Top 5 favorite animes ⭐ favorite way to relax ⭐ Favorite color ⭐ Favorite wlw ship ⭐ Top 3 travel destinations
Thanks for reading hope to hear you soon 🧡🩷🤍💛
-xoxo

Hi all,
First of all let me preface with I am a pure python developer. I don't know much of go lang and honestly I don't know heads or tail when reading a go lang code.
I am currently using a python package call Whatsfly which is basically a python wrapper around the go package Whatsmeow. I been using roughly the library for my personal use for the past year or so to send out messages to my relative and friend. Suddenly around a week or so ago, the code that i been using are unable to send out text messages to WhatsApp. I assume the reason is due to WhatsApp new UI update which causes the old code to no continue to work. I understand something like this would be a bit finicky since its not really a proper api interface. I could go with the WhatsApp Business API route but since I'm not making money out of this i do feel its a bit of an overkill.
I try updating the whatsfly python package from V 0.0.22 to the latest V 0.0.231 however now it wont even show any text on the command line.
I research some of the issues in GitHub, it shows that in go.mod i need to change a few version of whatsmeow. but now I don't understand how I make that changes stick to python?
Hope this help and any pointer would be helpful

Long story short - I (25F) was on a 3rd date with a guy (28M) and I was drunk and we kissed for the first time that night and I invited him up to my place because I wanted to kiss him more. I wasn't thinking about sex cuz I was dumb and drunk (I even had to throw up a little bit after we got to my place), so I had to stop us in the middle of doing stuff to say no to sex and I explained to him my boundaries (I wait till I'm in a relationship to have sex and I'd need him to get an STD test for oral sex).
After this, we talked about other normal stuff in between. We also tried making out here and there in between and at some point, he made what sounded like a passive aggressive comment about blue balls. This bothered me so I made a couple comments later that came off quite rude. I tried saving the situation by explaining myself and my boundaries (I told him I haven't had the best dating experiences in the past but didn't go in more detail). I was having a hard time trying to fix things because I was drunk. Things were super awkward and when he was leaving, I could tell how annoyed he was by his face.
The next day, I sent him a lighthearted message that I was feeling better about things and still had fun before the night ended weirdly and he ended up shutting things down with me right after. I feel TERRIBLE about this still cuz things seemed to be going really well before and I have a hard time finding dates in my city. Man, I screwed things up and I keep thinking that we still could have been talking if I just hadn't invited him up or told him my boundaries much more in advance.

For context, I (F22) was on Boo to make friends (on friends mode, not dating mode) as I am an international student in Perth. About 2 weeks ago, I matched with a (China)Chinese guy (M32) who claimed to have been living in Sydney for almost a decade after graduating from university there. The starting conversation was very normal, nothing out of the usual. After chatting for a day, he suggesting moving over to Whatsapp and asked for my number. I was alert at that point and asked: "How would I know if you weren't going to scam me? Why don't you give me your number instead?" To which, he did. So we moved over to Whatsapp to chat.
FYI, Mandarin is not my first language – it's my mother tongue, so I'm not as fluent. He mentioned that he can understand English, but his understanding is limited for some words and the context the words are being used in. Completely understandable, that's how Mandarin is to me. As he's more comfortable in Mandarin, he asked to practice my Mandarin with him – no red flags yet.
The conversation flowed normally, not much flirting, just getting to know one another. Hobbies, plans for the future, differences between Perth and Sydney. He claims that he works in real estate development, and only goes into the office once a week (sounds too good to be true but okay). Said he studied foreign economics and trade, then an MBA in university. Again, nothing crazy or alarming.
It's now the 3rd day, I decide to sus this guy out, and ask why's he still single at age 32 since typically for Chinese, parents would chase their children to get married. He says his parents did chase him to get married, but can't do anything since he's in Sydney, and that he prefers to meet a partner in a natural way than an arranged marriage. That's when he starts flirting a bit – "the biggest takeaway from Boo is you." Then, we chatted about hobbies, etc.
I asked, "if you could turn back time, what would you change?" Him: "I wouldn't change much but if I could turn back time I would purchase all the bitcoin on the market back then and sell it now" Me: "I've been interested in crypto but never had the courage to get into it" Him: "Hahaha, the cryptocurrency and blockchain fields are the most important part of the future market and will replace the traditional financial market"
We started chatting about bitcoin, but nothing alarming.
I jokingly said, "Wait till I earn some money, then I'll purchase some" Him: "When the time comes, I can teach you. Also, getting started with cryptocurrency does not require you to have a lot of funds. There's no restriction" 1/2🚩 Me: "Sure! If we're still talking by then" Him: "I'm not going to disappear, if nothing happens to me I'll still be here for the next 10 years 🤣" Me: "How would I know, haha? We met online" Him: "My feelings are filled with anticipation for you"
He started flirting with me more and more, talking about life, food, the conversation was going great. By now, it's the 4th day, and we had a conversation about food (as usual). I asked him what he had for dinner and he said he got takeout. Him: "If I had the motivation I'd cook, but I've been feeling lazy lately. But maybe if you were in Sydney I'd have more motivation to cook" Me: "What if I'm in Melbourne?" Him: "That's fine too, it's not that far" After more chatting... Me: "I'm only going to Melbourne though, not Sydney" (I'm heading to Melbourne in June) Him: "Then let's meet in Melbourne. I have an apartment there"
Just to be careful, I did not tell him when I would be flying over there, and at this point, he still does not know my full name. I joked with him about me possibly bring an elderly grandpa, or him being one, and pulling the "My mum says I shouldn't be talking to strangers". He replies, "Then don't make any friends 🤣 They're all strangers." He changes the topic because obviously that came off a little passive-aggressive. 1/2🚩
It's now the 5th day, after chatting about our interests, he asks me what I was doing during the weekend as he wanted to teach me about crypto. 🚩 I said, "I have no money" Him: "Well, if you have no money then you should earn some 🤣" Me: "I know, but crypto is dangerous" Him: "There's always a danger in everything, but when you expose yourself to it and learn, you'll understand it better" Me: "Yes and no" Him: "One more thing I have to tell you, you have to buy crypto when you're first starting out if not you can't learn it at all" Me: "I don't want to do that now, I'm okay with chatting about it, but I don't want to start now" Him: "It's your own decision, I just have to make sure you're aware before starting" Me: "Thanks for being honest about it, if not I'd feel like this is a crypto scam, not saying that you are" Him: "It's better to be honest about things." He changed the topic to food (not in a abrupt manner, but quite naturally)
Another day passed, and he went out drinking with friends. After returning home, he seemed to be a little hyper and tipsy, but I don't think he was drunk. I asked for a picture of him drunk because I thought it'd look funny, and he sent it over in 4min. Then, I mustered up my courage to voice call him to which there was no answer, but after 2min, he called back. The call lasted 38sec because I chickened out. To me, this confirmed that he was a legitimate person, not an AI that I was chatting with, and he most likely would be who he said he was. (But with that being said, it is also possible for him to be using a voice changer or whatever.)
After that night, it had been one week of chatting daily, and his texting was the same as usual, flirty but not overbearing. I had been out partying with the girls for a friend's birthday and I got home at 7am in the morning. I had spent the night watching out for my girls as you know, clubbing can be scary at times – the girlies drunk making out with others and all, the usual. As I was telling him about the crazy that went down that night, he said, "as long as nothing happened to you, that's all that matters, if not I'd be heartbroken" Me: "Why?🤣" Him: "Do you still need to ask why?" Me: "Well, if anything happened, then we just cut off this connection, hahaha, anyway we've only met for a few days" Him: "....." Me: "It's realistic" Him: "Is it?" Me: "Huh?" Him: "Rest well at home" Me: "Are you upset?" Him: "Not so far as to be upset about it" Me: "Well, think about it, we've only met a few days, and it's not as if you know if I have a good personality or a bad personality" Him: "If you put in effort to understand, you can actually discover many details" Me: "Then what kind of person do you think I am?" Him: "A realistic and rational person"
And then... I changed the topic because this conversation was getting a bit too deep for me.
It's the 9th day. My friends were really curious interested in this guy that I was chatting with and they wanted to hear his voice (so did I) to confirm his identity. So, childishly, we plotted for me to 'accidentally' leave my phone charging on my friend's table while I went to the bathroom, they unlocked my phone and called him to ask him who he was, then when I returned I'd snatch my phone back. He picked up, it was a 22sec call before I snatched my phone back and ended the call because I was way too embarrassed. He asked, "What happened?" Me: *explains the plot* Him: "Why's your phone unlocked?" Me: "It's locked but my friends know my PIN" Him: "Hahaha, change it" 🚩 Me: "Sorry for the trouble" Him: "It's fine, text me when you're back" A while later.... Me: "I'm back in my room" (I live in a dormitory) *Him asking how my friends know who to call, me explaining that we're together all the time, they know that we've been chatting* Him: "No privacy at all 🤣 They probably saw our entire conversation" Me: "It's okay, they read Mandarin really slow, don't worry 😂" Him: "Babe, you should learn how to protect yourself" Me: "Then when I'm speaking to you don't I need to protect myself?" Him: "Of course" Me: "Anyway, why do I need to hide anything?" 🚩(Can't tell if it's because he's older? That's why he thinks like that?) Him: "You don't care about your own privacy?" Me: "I do" Him: "I think boundaries between friends are important. I'm not mad, I just feel that if your friends can just take your phone, unlock your pin, and call me, wouldn't you be angry?" Me: "But this friend group is like my family" Him: "Your phone is like the last layer of yourself, you need to learn how to take care of yourself" Me: "Well they're just scared I'll get hurt and cheated" Him: "Cheated what?" Me: "They've seen me at my worst" Him: "Cheat you for sex or money? Rest assured, in this lifetime I'll never borrow money from you 🤣" Me: "We don't know if you're a real person either" Him: "Then am I or am I not?" Me: "Probably?" Him: "Really? The word probably?" *more conversation, blah blah*
Then it ended with him confessing that he likes me.
It's the 10th day. The flirting has been amped up and of course I can feel it, he starts calling me babe more, and talking about how it's normal for couples to hug. Of course, I was like "Oh? We're already a couple?" Him: "Aren't we heading in that direction?" Me: "Well that depends on your performance" Him: "If I turned you into a little rich lady, wouldn't you be happier?" Now, he's pushing about crypto again, and if I tried it once, I'd understand. Then, I confronted him, "Why'd you keep asking me about crypto?" Him: "Didn't you say you were interested?" Me: "Yeah I did, but I don't want to randomly start" Him: "How's that considered randomly starting?" Me: "Well, I don't know you well, and it's not as if we've been longtime friends. Also, there's a lot of scams on Boo, especially crypto scams. We've only been talking for a week, how much can I even trust you?" Him: "The decision is still yours to make, but I won't bring it up again" Me: "If I misunderstood you, I apologise. I can chat with you about crypto if it's your interest but I don't want to start now" Him: "We don't have to chat about crypto, there's no point talking about it" Me: "If you feel that I have no interest in crypto and would like to stop talking to me, that's completely understandable" Him: "There's no link between the two" Me: "I mean, some people feel that when there's no common topic, the conversation won't work. People have different dealbreakers." Me: "Have you eaten?"
GHOSTED. So, naturally, I thought he was now 100% a scammer (although it's only been a day). From what I know, he hasn't been active on Boo, his Follower count dropped but his Love count increased a bit. Honestly, everything he's said checks out, the timing under his name is Sydney timezone, his location checks out. Searched his images on Google and the Chinese search engines, nothing comes up.
I thought he blocked me because I sent him, "So you really blocked me just like that? 🤣" on Boo and Whatsapp and it was only a single tick on Whatsapp, which means he didn't receive the message. But turns out, he didn't block me... I was overthinking it. I was so sure he was a scammer, I reported his Boo account... 🙊 He replied after 5hr, "I've got a fever" and when I asked if he was fine, no reply. I am confused. Is he a scammer? Or am I just overthinking it? Did I piss him off perhaps? 🤣
Thanks for taking the time to read this if you have. Please help a confused girl out 🤣

Hi, everybody! First time posting here. Any advice will be appreciated!
I (28F) have been with my boyfriend (32M) for 5 months. We met on a dating app. We are both dating with the intention of getting married and we both are very slow people, so we decided from the very beginning that we will hold off physical intimacy and let it come naturally. Despite the lack of physical intimacy, we instantly hit it off. Since we both work very long hours everyday, we usually just text 1-2x to check up on each other throughout the week and catch up on the weekend. We also work overtime on the weekend, but we always try to spend one day every weekend together to get to know each other. All our values and hobbies align.
The last time we met, we initiated physical intimacy by cuddling and kissing. Before we separated that day, we both discussed how we felt about the experience. We both agreed that it feels good and correct. We both thought that it's the most comfortable we have felt with any other people we've met. We even discussed starting a family and being with each other forever. He even invited me to a party the following weekend to meet his colleagues.
Then, he sent me a text at the end of next week saying our relationship will not work out because he feels no spark between us. What is this spark? I am pretty sure the spark was there at the beginning because that is why we spent so much time together. And as we passed the honeymoon phase, I just assumed the spark transformed into a slow growing love.
I am just very confused by his decision and cannot figure out what went wrong that made the spark so important now. Why hasn't he mentioned this before at all? On the same day I received the text, I messaged back telling him I need him to tell me in a serious conversation what is wrong, even if it's ending it. I asked to schedule a FaceTime call with him. He left me on delivered and never replied. The same night, I sent him a letter expressing my feelings and asked how he wants me to return his stuffs. It has been 6 days and he still left me on delivered and never read my messages. I just don't know how to read into his silence because I know where he lives, so I can totally go and return his belongings. What does his silence mean?
I feel like he is an anxious avoidant partner because throughout our relationship, he will pull back each time when we make milestone in our relationship. He will go through periods of no response with messages. But, he will always reply by the weekend. He did share thoughts of breaking up with me when we hit a rough patch at around 3-4 month of our relationship. I always assured him that everything will be alright as long as we communicate our needs and concerns. He always expressed understanding and slowly started to open up to me about everything in his life. Nothing was abnormal the month prior to him sending the message.
I just feel so blindsided because we did not even have a conflict beforehand. There were absolutely no signs in our most recent conversation and we even made promises to each other about the future. Since I am in grad school and finals are coming up, I have not reached out at all again. I was thinking I will go NC for a month and once I am done with finals I will reach out again to ask if he wants to keep trying and reignite the spark we used to have.
However, I decided to check his dating profile on the app we met, I saw that he updated his profile and he never even bothered to unmatch me. My emotional and mental health are not taking this move from him very well. I don't know what I to do now and I am completely shattered. I really want to see if we can work this out because we have a genuine connection.
Is it stupid to reach out again at this point? I always just thought he needs some space to think about us. Is he moving on already? Can we ever get the spark back?

Hi I'm 20F and this happened around 3 years ago. For proper context I will be explaining about my "friends" first. I'm sorry that this is a very longgghg one but I needed to get it out of my chest. Also forgive me for any grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language. I'll start with my 6 year long ex bestie Bee, in short she was a huge pick me. Since the beginning she used to insult me infront of boys to make herself look good. I didn't really realise it back then because I thought that's what friends do. She literally used to drag me around a bunch of boys and would call me fat, crooked legged and eagle nosed. Even my mom and my brother kept asking me to break the friendship but I was too afraid thinking I'll be alone. I always had her back though, she used to come to me crying if she's facing any issues in her life and I was there for her. I started my college around COVID time so the friends I made were through online meetings. Once we all met, we hit it off. It was really great!. My best friend in college was a guy named Shawn. We were really close and one day he came up to me and said "I like someone", me being me started investing who it could be. Then a girl named Penny from our friend group told me that Shawn had told her "someone likes you". I was like YESS I found it! And I did my part and now they are a couple. I was soo happy. After a month or so he came to me and said he wants to break up cuz she's too controlling and jealous and I took her side because I kinda understood her since he was still talking to his ex. It became too frequent though and I just told him do as you please. And one more important thing is her family is extremely strict like she can't even talk to a guy. So in college I used to sit in between them like they asked me to do that teachers don't doubt anything and complain to her parents. But the issue was I had to be around them the entire day and be ignored by them. I didn't mind at first but it got frustrating as time passed. I would try talking to them and they would just ignore me but they didn't want me to sit away from them either. The moment we walked out of college they would walk away from me leaving me alone. Next Anne and Chris. Mann are they messy. Anne had lots of boyfriends but we did not know it back then when we used to talk to her. Chris is a senior who proposed to Anne and she accepted it. One day a random guy texted me and asked me Anne's contact details and I refused to give it. He then sent me the photos of her kissing another guy. I blocked him and texted Anne about this and she accepted she was cheating on Chris. But Chris, Penny, Shawn and me were really close at this point. I told Chris about this and he confronted her, he said when she went to visit her hometown, she asked for a break and that's when the cheating happened and when she came back to City she dumped that guy from village and got back with Chris. Guess what, Anne went to Village again and she ghosted Chris. Chris started texting my then bestie Bee. I told both of them not to grow feelings towards eachother or to talk that much because I knew Chris only wanted to get back at Anne and whereas Bee would use Chris as timepass. I mean yeah it's their life but only I knew this about both of them. They were acting serious and both of them were my friends, i couldn't let them do this to eachother. Well they ignored me. They did complain about eachother a lottttt though and I gave the same advice to stop talking so much. Anne returned from her village and she got to know Chris is talking to Bee. She simply asked him to stop talking to Bee and he DID. He told Bee he doesn't want to talk to her and he texted me "I got my everything (Anne) so I don't need Bee anymore" Bee felt bad and I told her well atleast don't repeat it again because I know he will text you again and Anne will cheat on him again. In between all of this drama I met my boyfriend through a online game. I used to talk to him whenever Shawn and Penny were ignoring me and I stopped caring about them. And yes I had told them I felt very bad many times that they ignore me and for like 2 days when I was around them Penny would say "oh we should talk to her or she will feel bad" and then talk to me. It was embarrassing really. In short my boyfriend is a great guy who moved to my city. Mind you he was just 17 when he moved. He convinced his parents he needed to study in my City for ME. He made me realise how much more i deserved so I just stopped being bothered by my friends. I introduced all of them to eachother so they used to hang out without me as well. Penny asked Shawn to not to talk to me. Chris and Bee started talking again and Anne left Chris again. But both of them would constantly complain about eachother about how much they hate eachother. Another thing about Bee is the guys she was dating were usually my friends. Like I would introduce my friends to her and she would go snatch the boys up and would ask them not to talk to me. I didn't care because I wasn't attracted to those guys anyway. Once I told about my crush and she literally asked me "ask him to follow me hehe". I was like wtf no I can't ask him to do that. She followed him. He asked me "why is your friend following me and sent a message request" I told him the truth cuz I was just fed up with her. He blocked her lol. He told me not to have friends like her. Anyway she started texting my boyfriend as well. She used to say "when you come to City let's go out to eat, buy me that, buy me this blah blah blah". Little did she know I had his account and I knew she wasn't "busy" so she couldn't reply to me. She needed 2k because she borrowed it from her mom to give a random guy lol. He never returned it but she was crying so I asked my bf to lend her 1k for now. He told her "return to my gf in cash since my mom can see my transactions". She ghosted me after he gave her the money. I confronted Shawn and Penny. I told them I don't want to be their friend anymore because I was there for them always and whenever I texted them they would straight up ignore me. There were some rough words. I told Bee about this and I cried because I did share good moments with them. I also told her they are planning an outing for which they will invite Bee just to spite me and told her I'll feel very bad if u go. She went :). I just asked her to return the money asap and wanted to end it all. The thing is they hated eachother so why go and meet them when I am the one who is helping you when you are in need? Not just the money, I was standing up for her in so many occasions.
She said she can send the money online because she knew I can't say ok to that. I asked her cash she ignored me. I kept asking her decently. I got fed up and texted her mom asking the money and then Bee replied saying "don't act so cheap and text my mom" I'm like huh? If I'm cheap then what are you for taking the money and ghosting me? I told her I'm just asking what u owe me so give it. She said ik y you are asking, it's because I went out with them right, i didn't even know u would feel bad. I told her consider the money as charity and get lost. Blocked. Whereas Chris talked shit about my friend group so I fought with him and he said "you are a b'tch and you don't deserve anything". This happened before I broke friendship with Shawn and Penny and they never stood up for me. Shawn and Penny were beside me standing and seeing me arguing with Chris and said nothing. While the only reason I fought was for them. Funny because what happened later proved who deserves what. My boyfriend moved to City (nobody believed he would come). I topped my last 3 semesters(I was tutoring them during exams and wasted my time before. Now both of them were scoring Avg marks and Penny even cried in class after seeing her marks and mine). I got placed in a huge MNC Company (Chris being my senior was working as a janitor in a clinic, not to shame but just saying). Shawn and Penny apologised to me later on for talking to Bee after we broke out friendship because they realised the kind of person she is. Shawn also mentioned that she had asked him for money but he said no even though he had it lol. Chris and Bee were in a short toxic relationship until he dumped her again for Anne. Bee is also now with no real friends or no real boyfriend and was seeing hanging out with her sister on her bday(I used to take her to Cafes). I would have been with them if I hadn't met my Boyfriend. I don't regret the friendship because I did my part as much as I could. So AITA?

Hi I'm 20F and this happened around 3 years ago. For proper context I will be explaining about my "friends" first. I'm sorry that this is a very longgghg one but I needed to get it out of my chest. Also forgive me for any grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language. I'll start with my 6 year long ex bestie Bee, in short she was a huge pick me. Since the beginning she used to insult me infront of boys to make herself look good. I didn't really realise it back then because I thought that's what friends do. She literally used to drag me around a bunch of boys and would call me fat, crooked legged and eagle nosed. Even my mom and my brother kept asking me to break the friendship but I was too afraid thinking I'll be alone. I always had her back though, she used to come to me crying if she's facing any issues in her life and I was there for her. I started my college around COVID time so the friends I made were through online meetings. Once we all met, we hit it off. It was really great!. My best friend in college was a guy named Shawn. We were really close and one day he came up to me and said "I like someone", me being me started investing who it could be. Then a girl named Penny from our friend group told me that Shawn had told her "someone likes you". I was like YESS I found it! And I did my part and now they are a couple. I was soo happy. After a month or so he came to me and said he wants to break up cuz she's too controlling and jealous and I took her side because I kinda understood her since he was still talking to his ex. It became too frequent though and I just told him do as you please. And one more important thing is her family is extremely strict like she can't even talk to a guy. So in college I used to sit in between them like they asked me to do that teachers don't doubt anything and complain to her parents. But the issue was I had to be around them the entire day and be ignored by them. I didn't mind at first but it got frustrating as time passed. I would try talking to them and they would just ignore me but they didn't want me to sit away from them either. The moment we walked out of college they would walk away from me leaving me alone. Next Anne and Chris. Mann are they messy. Anne had lots of boyfriends but we did not know it back then when we used to talk to her. Chris is a senior who proposed to Anne and she accepted it. One day a random guy texted me and asked me Anne's contact details and I refused to give it. He then sent me the photos of her kissing another guy. I blocked him and texted Anne about this and she accepted she was cheating on Chris. But Chris, Penny, Shawn and me were really close at this point. I told Chris about this and he confronted her, he said when she went to visit her hometown, she asked for a break and that's when the cheating happened and when she came back to City she dumped that guy from village and got back with Chris. Guess what, Anne went to Village again and she ghosted Chris. Chris started texting my then bestie Bee. I told both of them not to grow feelings towards eachother or to talk that much because I knew Chris only wanted to get back at Anne and whereas Bee would use Chris as timepass. I mean yeah it's their life but only I knew this about both of them. They were acting serious and both of them were my friends, i couldn't let them do this to eachother. Well they ignored me. They did complain about eachother a lottttt though and I gave the same advice to stop talking so much. Anne returned from her village and she got to know Chris is talking to Bee. She simply asked him to stop talking to Bee and he DID. He told Bee he doesn't want to talk to her and he texted me "I got my everything (Anne) so I don't need Bee anymore" Bee felt bad and I told her well atleast don't repeat it again because I know he will text you again and Anne will cheat on him again. In between all of this drama I met my boyfriend through a online game. I used to talk to him whenever Shawn and Penny were ignoring me and I stopped caring about them. And yes I had told them I felt very bad many times that they ignore me and for like 2 days when I was around them Penny would say "oh we should talk to her or she will feel bad" and then talk to me. It was embarrassing really. In short my boyfriend is a great guy who moved to my city. Mind you he was just 17 when he moved. He convinced his parents he needed to study in my City for ME. He made me realise how much more i deserved so I just stopped being bothered by my friends. I introduced all of them to eachother so they used to hang out without me as well. Penny asked Shawn to not to talk to me. Chris and Bee started talking again and Anne left Chris again. But both of them would constantly complain about eachother about how much they hate eachother. Another thing about Bee is the guys she was dating were usually my friends. Like I would introduce my friends to her and she would go snatch the boys up and would ask them not to talk to me. I didn't care because I wasn't attracted to those guys anyway. Once I told about my crush and she literally asked me "ask him to follow me hehe". I was like wtf no I can't ask him to do that. She followed him. He asked me "why is your friend following me and sent a message request" I told him the truth cuz I was just fed up with her. He blocked her lol. He told me not to have friends like her. Anyway she started texting my boyfriend as well. She used to say "when you come to City let's go out to eat, buy me that, buy me this blah blah blah". Little did she know I had his account and I knew she wasn't "busy" so she couldn't reply to me. She needed 2k because she borrowed it from her mom to give a random guy lol. He never returned it but she was crying so I asked my bf to lend her 1k for now. He told her "return to my gf in cash since my mom can see my transactions". She ghosted me after he gave her the money. I confronted Shawn and Penny. I told them I don't want to be their friend anymore because I was there for them always and whenever I texted them they would straight up ignore me. There were some rough words. I told Bee about this and I cried because I did share good moments with them. I also told her they are planning an outing for which they will invite Bee just to spite me and told her I'll feel very bad if u go. She went :). I just asked her to return the money asap and wanted to end it all. The thing is they hated eachother so why go and meet them when I am the one who is helping you when you are in need? Not just the money, I was standing up for her in so many occasions.
She said she can send the money online because she knew I can't say ok to that. I asked her cash she ignored me. I kept asking her decently. I got fed up and texted her mom asking the money and then Bee replied saying "don't act so cheap and text my mom" I'm like huh? If I'm cheap then what are you for taking the money and ghosting me? I told her I'm just asking what u owe me so give it. She said ik y you are asking, it's because I went out with them right, i didn't even know u would feel bad. I told her consider the money as charity and get lost. Blocked. Whereas Chris talked shit about my friend group so I fought with him and he said "you are a b'tch and you don't deserve anything". This happened before I broke friendship with Shawn and Penny and they never stood up for me. Shawn and Penny were beside me standing and seeing me arguing with Chris and said nothing. While the only reason I fought was for them. Funny because what happened later proved who deserves what. My boyfriend moved to City (nobody believed he would come). I topped my last 3 semesters(I was tutoring them during exams and wasted my time before. Now both of them were scoring Avg marks and Penny even cried in class after seeing her marks and mine). I got placed in a huge MNC Company (Chris being my senior was working as a janitor in a clinic, not to shame but just saying). Shawn and Penny apologised to me later on for talking to Bee after we broke out friendship because they realised the kind of person she is. Shawn also mentioned that she had asked him for money but he said no even though he had it lol. Chris and Bee were in a short toxic relationship until he dumped her again for Anne. Bee is also now with no real friends or no real boyfriend and was seeing hanging out with her sister on her bday(I used to take her to Cafes). I would have been with them if I hadn't met my Boyfriend. I don't regret the friendship because I did my part as much as I could. So AITA?

Venting
I was absolutely seeing red this evening from interacting with the most condescending, arrogant, rude customer I've had the displeasure of speaking to in my 4+ years of doing this work.
Sent two messages (intro and one other) to her in the course of my brief shopping trip to Meijer for her 10 item order which was bundled with another small one. Noticed that the messages hadn't gone through when i was about to leave the store , something was up with the app. Was having trouble earlier in the day too.
Driving to drop it off , get a call from Shipt, customer hasn't heard from you she wants to know what's going on and also wants your phone number to call you (huh?). Well, I texted her but it's not getting through and no she can't have my personal phone number.
Call her a few minutes later to let her know I'm on my way and when I say the phony outrage and condescending tone was immediate from the first word, well you have to have been there to truly understand. She just couldn't BELIEVE that she hadn't heard from me. She's so angry she's probably not even going to rate me. Ummm ok. Like wtf is there something urgent you needed to go over with me about regarding your small 10 item order of very basic bread cereal milk items?? Irritated, frustrated maybe, but angry??
Then she starts with the "I'm a 5 star Shipt shopper , communication is so important, this app is all about communication" and it now it's starting to make sense, now I officially give no shits about her lecturing and phony outrage, now it's taking all my willpower to not say something that could get me deactivated (would that even be possible?). "Are you new?" Fuck you ya fucking bitch.
This is someone who has fist hand experience with the challenges and frustrations of this gig and yet is deliberately trying to belittle and be difficult towards another shopper (and no I'm not saying the standard should be lower if the customer is also a shopper).
I'm trying to understand this phenomenon, the psychology of it. Again, what was so important that you just HAD to speak to me?? Do you just want the experience of being on the other end, of having a shopper grovel to you so you could feel important? Again, fuck you, get a life.
Without fail, customers who go out of their way to identify themselves as Shipt shoppers are always difficult and annoying, this was another level.
I want to know what action I can take in terms of contacting Shipt and calling out this ass hole.