Employment letter for renting

An individual residing in a section 8; project housing apartment complex; is sent a letter stating the property managers intent to evict after an arson investigation that resulted in no arrest to my knowledge. The letter said a key must be returned to avoid eviction procedure which would result in court costs and eviction fees. Also it stated that the organization would no longer assist the individual because of a quoted rule from the lease/property regulations stating that the named resident is responsible for the actions or inaction of any one present in the unit; such as any illegal or dangerous activity. The 🔥 was allegedly the result of a home invasion+burgarly+vandalism situation. Fire and police responded and investigated. After clearing the unit post Fire, the tenant was accompanied by law enforcement and arson investigation and instructed to gather belongings that maybe needed, because the location was going to be sealed up because at that point it was considered a crime scene and still under investigation. With hands full and a backpack the tenant got into the back of a cop car that dropped him off at a local bus station.
All this resulted in immediate homelessness, emotional/mental trauma, minor physical trauma, extreme nuisances. The tenant having no keys, glasses, food or money contacted the housing assistance authority and asked what could be done in the interim period , for which investigations could be completed. They only responded saying they'd have to wait on their supervisors instructions following completion of LE and Fire investigation. There was no response for several days; multiple attempts and messages were left for property management. Eventually tenant was instructed to come to the office to give a written statement, again reminding and pleading with the "housing assistance manager" that for fear of their life plus necessity for housing; was there any possibility they could go to a different location or be assisted at all? No helpful response was provided. A month nearly had passed, perhaps a little more and "tenant" had been sleeping in cars and abandoned buildings/homes. They also gained better employment with a local law office assisting an attorney with civil and criminal cases.
Above referenced letter was finally received perhaps a day or two before a deadline to return keys or face eviction proceedings. Tenant reminded the manager via phone call that they retained no key and had not occupied the unit since the night of fire; also reminded and clarified to manager that they had informed the tenant not to return and the locks had been changed due to ongoing investigation. Tenant offered some type of compromise such as paying for the key to be replaced and offering some notarized form stating he had not been occupying the unit for some time now. Manager replied "oh you don't tell me what we going to do..." So tenant only responded to clarify by saying they were just offering, and would oblige any reasonable request. A week atleast passed with no return call or message or letter. Tenant was able to get them to answer when they called repeatedly from place of employment, showing a law office on caller ID surely. The manager stated "due to severity of what happened that they would be filing for eviction anyway" The tenants response at that time was that they would see each other at that time mutually then.
A few extra details: tenant was the only 1 in that apartment complex of a different ethnicity. They lived there alone about 6 months. Tenant feels very mistreated and handled badly, on purpose or atleast by neglect to fully investigate.

My sister and I have an apartment together in SoCal with another guy and the lease has been coming up soon. For a month we had been trying to requalify for the 12 month lease, but his "paystubs" kept getting declined. Eventually my sister and I submitted to reapply on our own and were accepted. We still haven't signed the actual contract yet though. This last months rent came due, and he told us he couldn't pay because his mother was hospitalized and he sent her money to help pay for medical expenses. He was supposed get paid on the 13th, but now his paycheck is "late". Today I found out his phone provider cancelled his service. Out of curiosity I swung by his work and asked about his employment status. They said he was no longer with them. I told my sister, and she's furious that he's been hiding this from us. We haven't confronted him yet, and we want to know if we can legally get him off the lease somehow before the renewal that's due in a few days.

My employer recently restructured the company and removed a position that did a certain job type. They've now changed my roles title and duties, too include the work previously done by that position they got rid of. There was no pay increase. I told my boss i was not interested in doing that extra work. They're now asking me to send him written confirmation that i am agreeing and understanding that i do not want nor will adopt the expected core job skills for the new role that was forced upon me. Does this seem legal? If i send him what he's asking for can that be used against me in the form of a resignation? This company allows employees to take 30 days to look for a different role within the company but I'm afraid they'll just use what they're asking for as a resignation letter and force me out in 2 weeks. Thoughts? plz....

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My sister and I have an apartment together in SoCal with another guy and the lease has been coming up soon. For a month we had been trying to requalify for the 12 month lease, but his "paystubs" kept getting declined. Eventually my sister and I submitted to reapply on our own and were accepted. We still haven't signed the actual contract yet though. This last months rent came due, and he told us he couldn't pay because his mother was hospitalized and he sent her money to help pay for medical expenses. He was supposed get paid on the 13th, but now his paycheck is "late". Today I found out his phone provider cancelled his service. Out of curiosity I swung by his work and asked about his employment status. They said he was no longer with them. I told my sister, and she's furious that he's been hiding this from us. We haven't confronted him yet, and we want to know if we can legally get him off the lease somehow before the renewal that's due in a few days.

Throw away since I know this former employee is on Reddit.
This is in regards to a small, privately owned retail business in an at-will state.
Usually oral agreement issues are employees being shafted by owners/managers/etc. that the latter may have orally agreed to about X, Y, or Z to an employee. It has actually been difficult to find online search results that are reversed, which is the case I am experiencing with a former employee (let's call them Alex, in a gender-neutral manner to reduce revealing private info about them) - Alex is claiming that they were promised a large portion of ownership of the business as well as equity related to recent, large product investments.
We had to fire Alex because of prolonged, catalogued/tracked service quality and professionalism issues, as well as strong suspicion (and eventual solid evidence discovered post termination) of theft. The service quality and professionalism issues were discussed with Alex numerous times, and naturally known to other employees working alongside them. Eventually, after numerous continued issues and verbal warnings, Alex was formally written up and we had them sign the notes covered in the meeting. After a couple more months of still declining service quality, and odd, suspicious behavior that strongly indicated theft as mentioned, we were forced to terminate employment. We provided Alex with a fairly standard release form which essentially said "we won't sue you and you won't sue us, and if you sign you get 4 weeks of severance pay." Alex did not sign the form. Alex found new employment about 4 weeks after termination and to my knowledge has not filed for unemployment for the few weeks between jobs.
As mentioned, we later confirmed not only theft, but Alex was selling the stolen goods online while undercutting our prices and then even using the store's financial accounts to purchase shipping labels for their online customers to ship the stolen goods to them. We have screenshots of their Ebay account, along with pictures they took showing of the goods where their hand is visible with recognizable jewelry seen by all the staff before Alex was terminated (so we can confirm it's Alex in the pictures they posted). There is strong evidence of other theft but it is more difficult to prove.
Re: the oral agreement - it should be noted that I did in fact make an oral agreement with Alex, but of which is very different than the one they are claiming was made. Because Alex was our first employee and worked with us for over 5 years, I agreed that if the business was to ever grow to say another storefront, I would allow Alex to buy in for an undetermined percent of the business (probably around 10% at most). That is it. I've maintained that this was the agreement to Alex, my wife, and employees for a number of years, never changing the details of the arrangement. Unfortunately Alex made these poor service quality and theft decisions and was terminated before the business was able to grow into an additional store (still not a possibility at the moment and probably for another couple of years), thus the agreement is now null and void. This agreement was NOT written down or signed by either party (and thus no witnesses either).
Alex is claiming that they were promised to be given (yes, given, not just allowed to buy in) ownership up to 50% of the current business and 20%-30% or so of the value of recent product investments, of which would likely be in excess of $100,000 together. Alex's claim is absolutely not true. There is no paperwork, signatures, witnesses, etc. that would be able to confirm this unless they are going to forge something or have people lie for them. However, I am concerned about this because I otherwise do not have proof that this was not the agreement...
Our two current employees, aware of this situation, and aware of (and witness to) the poor and odd behavior of the former employee that led to their termination (including the theft), are more than willing to testify that Alex's claim is not the case. Alex even spoke to them about thinking about drafting a letter to me about a 7% ownership stake, which they never did. If they were orally promised such a great deal of ownership why would they need to draft a letter for only 7%? Unfortunately Alex has recruited the wrath of their parents (who they lived with for 6 years straight and just moved into an apartment, Alex is in their 30s.) who are going to bankroll them a lawyer. I would imagine that Alex has been telling their parents for some time now (like years) that there was some sort of oral agreement about ownership more in the line of their false claims (to the specifics I am not sure) and they have been able to convince them that their child is telling the truth. So Alex's parents could very well feel like they're telling the truth when they say their child told them about this crazy 50% stake and equity when in fact it was a lie. But how do I prove that? Do I need to prove that?
Here's where it gets a little more complicated - Alex's father (who I miss, he was a good guy) is handy and built a majority of the counters, drawers, storage, display tables, etc. in the storefront for free (he refused payment for the labor, but I paid for all the materials of which I have receipts for). Alex is claiming that because their father built all this furniture, it is "proof" that they were promised part ownership and equity (because why else would their father be so generous?...). But that is not the case, their father just wanted to help and participate in any way he could as he is nearing retirement and wanting to take on new activities. The employee may have been cultivating this false assumption that such construction is proof of promised partnership with their fathefamily from the start, although their father never mentioned anything like that to me.
The personal and professional betrayal aside, I'm concerned about Alex levying such accusations of ridiculous grand promises via oral agreement since it is so hard to confirm either way, and given this person's proclivity of lying (and stealing) I have little trust they will act in good faith if any legal proceedings unfold. I would love any advice on how to possibly handle this issue. Wouldn't the onus be on Alex to prove these grand promises? Given the little I have listed above, what "evidence" might be in their favor? How concerning is it that their parents are fully convinced their child has been wronged (I also know that Alex is telling friends and new coworkers the reason they were fired was because of me not wanting to "give" them part of the business)? It seems ridiculous a parent's perspective would hold much weight in actual legal environments since they would be so biased. Should I be concerned there is no written agreement about any of these promises (including the legitimate one about eventual opportunity to buy in)? Anything about their father volunteering their labor? Is it a good thing that our current employees are willing to testify (on their own volition, I didn't even ask them) about their own first hand experiences and conversations with Alex that contradicts many of Alex's statements? Anything else potentially troublesome I should be aware of?
Yes, lots of lessons learned here - get things in writing for my own protection against such claims. Unfortunately that is not the case here, so advice geared around the fact that no party has much to support their claims (well, I'm only claiming their claim is false) would be most helpful. Please let me know if you have any clarifying questions or need more information for better input. I really appreciate your time and consideration!

Idk how to bring this discussion to the table. I was really trying to stay out of this whole renting accounts or shopping under someone else’s name (idk people’s situation) but this just blows my mind.
The other day I seen a 10 year old KID, running around the store doing an order. My assumption is mom or dad is in the car unable to work or maybe just lazy. Maybe looking for another order. Who knows, but I did a triple take and made sure it wasn’t some adult that just looks like a kid. Of course I didn’t ask for ID verification or anything, but I’m convinced.
I mainstay a very popular store in a busy part of the city. Have for years. There’s several shoppers I have worked with during that time and we are all in a chat together. My store has become increasingly saturated this past several months. I can’t help but notice the ones that stand out. Like kids running around with a phone scanning items. I’ve heard stories of people renting accounts and being undocumented and working under someone else’s name.
There’s a fix for this. I am not opposed to more rigorous verification of account ownership. I will take 10 pictures a day if it starts weeding out people shopping with two phones. Renting accounts. UNDERAGE. Having to scan your drivers license. Idk. SOMETHING.
Ok my phone is bugging out I’ve had it on all day and when I type it takes 3 seconds for the letters to show up.
What do y’all think?

My sister and I have an apartment together in SoCal with another guy and the lease has been coming up soon. For a month we had been trying to requalify for the 12 month lease, but his "paystubs" kept getting declined. Eventually my sister and I submitted to reapply on our own and were accepted. We still haven't signed the actual contract yet though. This last months rent came due, and he told us he couldn't pay because his mother was hospitalized and he sent her money to help pay for medical expenses. He was supposed get paid on the 13th, but now his paycheck is "late". Today I found out his phone provider cancelled his service. Out of curiosity I swung by his work and asked about his employment status. They said he was no longer with them. I told my sister, and she's furious that he's been hiding this from us. We haven't confronted him yet, and we want to know if we can legally get him off the lease somehow before the renewal that's due in a few days.

Hello Navy Federal community I hope y’all doing fine. I’ve been a member with Navy Fed for almost a year. I just made it my primary bank today and received my employer direct deposit into my account.
I was getting my direct deposit with my other bank before. But Ive been paying rent and all my bills through navy federal for about 7 months now.
Last year I tried to get my new car refinanced but I got a rejection from them. Since then I haven’t tried to do it again or open the “pre approved” credit card offer from them due the hard inquiry from last year.
My FICO9 is 770. You guys suggest me to get my second direct deposit with navy fed before trying to refinance my car or get a credit card? Or you think would be okay to try again now?
Thank you in advance.

I am planning to move to the US on TN visa. I have two questions regarding this:
1.) Am I allowed to work from a state for an employer in another state? Basically my wife is working in the US on a H1b visa in Arizona. My employer would be in Indiana. I am planning to live with my wife in AZ and work remote. Is this allowed for TN?
2.) Am I required to maintain a Canadian residence for TN visa? Currently, I am renting in Canada. If I move to US, I won’t have a place in Canada, so I’ll have no address here. Will not having a Canadian address be an issue at the US border for granting them the TN status?
Thanks in advance!

I ‘25/F’ have been dating my boyfriend ‘27/M’ for a little over 3 years. We currently live together and I pay most of the expenses since I make more than him currently. (I make around 78,000 a yr while he makes a 15 an hour which would end up being a little over $26,000 a year). He has been working at a coffee shop which he enjoys most of the time since he lost his job 6 months ago. We split the rent 50/50 but I cover all other expenses groceries, trips, etc. he just got offered a job in a career that is he got his masters degree in. The problem is the job is across the country and they offered him a little less than what he was hoping for. This job offer $23 an hour with paid overtime and benefits. Currently at the coffee shop he makes $1100 (including tips and taxes taken out) every pay period and no benefits or pto. I work in a career field where I could most likely easily find a job wherever I go and am kind of excited to move as this place seems like a great city to live in. Not to mention a we would get a financial relief. We have talked about me staying where I am for the time being until he gets more settled in to the new place and is sure he likes the job and his employers like him before I move too.
I thought he would be really excited about the job offer but now he is thinking about not taking it. He is worried he won’t like the job and would be sad to move out of our luxury apartment to live on his own for a little bit. He also brought up being sad to leave the community he has at the coffee shop and really enjoys his flexible schedule here. He is also worried about the pay being to low from his recent job offer. He has been really depressed lately because he has been denied from several places he has applied to over the past 6 months. So I am really worried he will regret not taking this job if he doesn’t get another job offer soon. And was hopeful a new job would bring him better spirits and overall make him happier.
I have advised him to take the job offer and to continue to look for jobs and take interviews and if he finds something better to just decline the offer close to his start date or leave the job if he has already started. I think it’s a great opportunity to at least get his foot in the door and gain experience in the industry he got 2 degrees in. If he really doesn’t like it he can move back in with me and most likely get his job back at the coffee shop as they really like him there. However he is still saying he is really on the fence about it and isn’t sure if he will accept the offer as he isn’t sure he wants to go back to a desk job.
Is it ok for me to bring up our salary differences now? I feel like I spend a lot of my money on him and I am usually happy to do so as it ensures I get to live the lifestyle I want with the person I love! However with the thought of him making more I did get really excited thinking we would split things a little more evenly and I’d have some money to spend on myself to maybe update my wardrobe, finish paying off my car, and pay for a pottery class etc. I used to only spend about $80-$100 on groceries before I met him but now I pay around $350-$400 a week in groceries alone as he really eats a lot and only like organic, free range, high quality ingredients. I really wonder if I wasn’t paying so much if he would be more willing to take the job. I also don’t want to push him to take a job if he really doesn’t want it. I don’t think you should solely take a job just because you would make more money but I do think whether he takes or declines the job it will affect our relationship. Am I being to materialistic in waiting him to take this job?

This is the first time I have written something of this length, and is more of an exercise in self-therapy than anything else. Disclaimer: This story contains conversations about child abuse. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy it.
Nathan’s number appeared on my phone screen. I debated whether or not to answer it. We hadn’t been on speaking terms for a while, and while we did keep in touch sporadically, it was usually because of important family issues. I didn’t know of anything happening with mom or dad, nor with Talia or Rio, so I let it go to voicemail. I could always call him back later. I placed the phone back in my pocket, and returned to cleaning my camera. The phone buzzed again. A text message came through. I read the preview line from the home screen. “The city declared eminent domain on the house” I unlocked my phone, read the full text message, and dialed my brother.
I wasn't able to get any closer to the house than a few blocks. Most of the area was blocked off with chain link fencing and construction equipment in preparation for the demolition that was supposed to take place within the coming days. The barriers didn’t prevent people from walking in to the neighborhood, but it hindered scrappers from coming in and stripping the houses of copper wiring and plumbing.
I grabbed my camera bag out of the trunk of my car along with my tripod. I shouldered it and hooked the tripod to my bag. I pulled my water bottle out of the center console and shut the door. I stood next to my car surveying the neighborhood. 12 city blocks of old single family homes comprised the neighborhood where I grew up. Some of the houses had been empty for months, others for years. There was an eerie silence that permeated the still air. I could not hear the familiar sounds of people, pets, or cars. I locked the car and put my keys in my pocket. I patted my jacket down to ensure I had what I needed. After a quick check, I started my walk.
The sidewalk of the old neighborhood streets still bore the familiar cracks and grind marks from years of buckling and remedy. Leaves dropped by the trees still lay scattered all along the pathways and sidewalk. Korina’s house was the first house I encountered as I made my way through a gap in the fence. The yard was overgrown with tall grass and thistle. I could see the faded blue paint of the old house contrasting the green and browns of the lawn. The chain link fence that marked off the corner property was nearly invisible through the thick brush. As I continued walking west towards 110th, I started to feel something was off. The streets seemed wider than I remembered. It took me longer than I’d like to admit, but eventually I realized what was different. There were no cars.
The streets here typically had cars lined bumper to bumper in any spot available, and were visible from block to block. The absence of all these vehicles made me realize just how deserted the neighborhood really was. House after house, yard after yard, the telltale signs of desertion reinforced what I could see from the moment I passed the construction fence: This was no longer my neighborhood. There were no signs of life, and no one I could expect to find still here. Abandonment was the new normal here. I continued on, glancing at houses and recalling memories of summer bike rides, and daily walks with dogs I used to have. I remembered walks home from school, and chasing after ice cream trucks when they passed our houses. I smiled a bit as I remembered more and more of my years spent here. I don’t quite know just why I was smiling. There were plenty of bad memories here too. Fights, yelling, being beat up, being robbed. I could remember failed friendships, lost loves, and bitter feelings of failures too.
Still, I felt a certain amount of nostalgia despite the weight of these negative feelings. I almost wanted to experience everything again, although I wasn't sure why I was feeling this way. Concrete, asphalt, billboards and liquor stores were the normal vistas of everyday life. Occasionally, after a good rainstorm, the grey haze of smog would lift, and the mountains would be visible to the north. At least, they would be visible until mid-morning when the exhaust from a million cars covered them behind a veil of pollution.
It wasn’t until the first time I travelled out of the city that I realized there was more to see. Traveling up the coast north along the Pacific Coast Highway introduced me to scenes of deep blue ocean water spanning the width of my vision. Driving up Highway 3 introduced me to the permeating scent of Pine and Fir trees. The two-lane stretch of highway from Portland to Tillamook introduced me to lush green forests that I had only ever read about. When I came home to the same old dirty, dusty concrete and boiling summer asphalt, I had made up my mind. I would do everything it took to leave this place. I would not spend another day longer than was necessary living in cramped quarters and fighting for parking space.
I arrived to the house, and paused at the gate. The house sat in contrast of what the rest of the neighborhood looked like. Instead of overgrown grass and tall weeds all over the place, the landscaping showed signs of relatively recent work. The guava tree in the front lawn still had some fruit ready to be picked, and the avocado tree on the other side of the pathway was still weighed down by its own fruit. Flowers still bloomed in the raised bed in front of the house. My brother had clearly tried to keep up on things until the last possible moment. The house, too, looked better than what I expected after walking up 4 blocks and seeing nothing but dilapidated houses and unkempt yards. I opened the gate and walked up to the small porch. The metal gate that enclosed it was gone having been removed by my brother when he took over the property. It looked nice to see it open instead of the cage it once felt like.
I turned the knob on the door, but it didn't give. Ever a creature of habit, my brother had locked the door when he left. Of course, he did. I sighed and prepared to find another way in when I remembered my parents hiding a spare key. I wasn’t sure if it would still be there, but after running my hands along the back side of the gutter downspout, I was rewarded for my efforts. I unlocked the front door and stepped into the front living room, the sounds of my footsteps and the closing door echoing in the empty space. The room felt both larger and smaller than I remembered it. I suppose it was lack of furniture that made it feel larger, but it still felt smaller than I remember. The result of growing taller throughout the years I suppose. I slowly walked along the slate tile floor towards the central hallway that connected the front of the house to the back bedrooms. I wasn't entirely sure that just because the front door was locked, that there wasn't some squatter looking for a little temporary shelter within the back rooms. I carefully and silently crept step by step towards what used to be the bedroom shared by my sister and me. I stuck my head in and gave the room a cursory glance. It was empty, thankfully. I moved back into the hallway and peered into the bedroom across the hall. This is where both of my brothers had shared a room. It too, was empty save for a few boxes holding hardware and doorknobs from the closet doors of the bedroom. I walked back towards the back of the house where my parent's bedroom was. The walls in the hallway bore the dusty signs where picture once hung. The bedroom door was open. I stepped inside, and looked around. The old avocado paint that my mom had picked out years ago still adorned the walls. Walking further towards the addition that was the small room my grandma and grandpa lived in showed that there was no one here. I breathed a sigh of relief as I set my bag down and set up my tripod. I reached into my bag a pulled out an envelope of old photos. These were old snapshots that we had all taken at some point in time in the house. There were pictures of all of us sitting at the dining room table playing a game of Monopoly. There was a picture of my brother and sister sitting on a couch in the front living room. There was a picture of me hanging on the bars of the front porch. I looked through them all and held them in place in front of me as if I were holding a window to the past.
Each picture made the lump in my throat grow as I started to struggle to control my emotions. There was history here, and soon it would all be gone. This is the place where my parents had raised four kids. They had taken care of my grandparents in their twilight years here. My Aunt and my grandmother had both died in this house. Birthdays, graduation parties, and anniversaries had been celebrated here. The echoes of life had reverberated within the walls of this place. Now, the house sat silent. It would never again know happy screams of kids having a water-balloon war out in the front yard, nor would it hear the cries of anguish as the matriarch of the family passed away surrounded by her family. What once was a home full of life was now just an empty house made of drywall and paint. I sat there for a moment contemplating just how much family history was actually made here. As I thought hard about my siblings and my parents, I felt pained at the thought of our strained relationships. We had all scattered once we had the opportunity to be free of each other. My oldest brother had married and moved away as soon as possible. My sister now lived in northern California. My parents too had moved away. I was now living in Utah. Only my older brother had remained behind. The lump grew larger in my throat as tears welled up in my eyes. I held back sobs of anger and pain. Why was I hurting? Hadn’t I dealt with these issues already? I walked back to my old bedroom and sat down under the window. I pulled my head down into my knees and cried. I could hear yelling and screaming in my head. Shouting matches between siblings and parents, brothers and sister, rattled inside my brain, making the pain grow. I sat there and cried. I hadn’t cried like this in a long time. Eventually I ran out of tears and tired gasps of sorrow and regret washed over me as a blanket of drowsiness enveloped me. I leaned my head back and fell asleep.
I woke up to the sound of footsteps. It took me a moment to realize what I was hearing and hurriedly stood up. Had someone followed me? I knew the police were patrolling the area sporadically. Had they seen me enter the house? I knew there would be a possibility of getting a trespassing citation, but I figured I could either talk my way out of it seeing as to how I was a former resident, or I could probably fight the citation in court if the judge knew why I was there in the first place. Ultimately, passing through the gate had been a calculated risk that I was willing to take for the sake of my art. I got up from my corner of the room and moved towards the door. If there was someone in the house, I needed to know. I didn’t want my gear to stolen, and if there was a cop in the house, I wanted to ensure I didn’t get shot.
I was greeted by the sight of a startled chubby boy standing on the other side of the door. His round cherubic face was crowned by a head of short curly hair. His hazel green eyes stared widely back at me. He clearly didn’t expect someone to be here in the house. His body recoiled in fear as he cowered back towards the hallway. “Wait, what are you doing here?” I asked as non-threateningly as I could. The boy muttered something that I couldn’t quite make out. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you” I replied. “Are you here to rob us?” he timidly responded. “Rob you? What are you talking about?” I asked as confusion set in. “What are you doing here?” It was his turn to be confused. “Uh…I….live here?” he replied. “What do you mean you live here? No one lives-“I stopped midsentence. I hadn’t noticed in my initial shock but the room wasn’t the same. A familiar blue couch caught the corner of my eye. In front of that was an old console TV with a partially broken antenna hanging on the wall behind it. I walked further in to the living room to notice wood paneling on the walls. A large mirror hung on the wall to my left. Familiar yellow lamps sat on round drop-leaf tables on either side of the couch. A large hutch sat in one corner, a collection of letters and bills, mail advertisements, and a phone book covered scattered over it. “What just happened?” I asked out loud to no one in particular. I was thoroughly mystified by what my eyes were seeing. I had walked into the house from the front door and had stepped into an empty white room with slate floor tiles, but somehow now found myself in a furnished room with brown carpet that was all so familiar to me, yet was nothing but a distant faded memory. I turned to look at the boy still startled by the intrusion of a strange man looking wildly around the room in total shock.
“You can take what you want, just please let me go. I don’t want problems.” He stated his voice still shrill with anxiety. I blinked a few times as I tried to process just what the heck was going on. I gathered my thoughts as best I could and tried to reassure him. “Kid, I’m not here to rob anyone. I was just-“I shook my head “Where the hell am I? Am I having a dream?” I asked myself. “I must be dreaming. I’m just tired and still sleeping. This is all a dream. Yeah, that’s it.” I needed to sit down. Being back in the old house must have overtaxed my senses, I told myself. I’d having a dream about an old memory. I walked over to the chair next to the couch and sat down. I sunk into it and rested my head back towards the wall.
The boy kept his distance, but sensed I wasn’t there to hurt him. He looked me over with anxious curiosity. He stood at the far end of the couch, examining me while he played out scenarios in his head in preparation for a quick exit. “Why are you in my house?” he asked me. “Dude, this is all just a dream I’m having. I’m not really here.” He reached over to the couch and picked up a pillow. He reared his arm and threw it at me. It landed in my lap. “I don’t know, man. You sure seem to be here.” He said to me. I opened my eyes, startled. I looked down at the pillow he tossed and examined it. I ran my hand over the fabric and felt its texture. I remember this pillow. This was the pillow I would roll under my head as I lay on the couch and watched TV as a kid. A sudden realization hit me as I looked around the room with fresh eyes. No longer was I blinded by the fog of confusion. I knew exactly where I was.
I was home.
I looked at the boy still standing at the edge of the couch. I looked him over and realized who he actually was. I stared in disbelief as I smiled and tried to put him at ease. “It’s ok Johnny. I’m not here to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you. Please, sit down” I told him. I motioned to his end of the couch. “Who are you, and why are you here?” he asked me.
“This will be hard to believe, but I’m you” I said with an incredulous tone, “I’m not sure how I ended up here, but I’m here.” He looked at me as I had grown a second head. “That doesn’t make any sense. How could you be me? Did we invent time travel? Oh! Are we secret government agents with the CIA?”
I chuckled. “Wait, wait, wait. Let’s start at the beginning. I’m you at 38 years old. You’re…what, 11… 12 years old? It makes sense. I fell asleep under the window in my- our old bedroom. I didn’t come here on purpose or in a machine. And no, I’m not a government agent.” His face contorted to display understanding, disappointment and finally suspicion. His eyes narrowed as he leaned in towards me. “How do I know you’re really me?” he asked. I thought about it for a moment. How could I prove to him that I was who I said I was? A few seconds of silence settled between us. I stroked my chin, thinking of a solution.
“I have a better idea. Ask me questions that only you know the answers to.” “Okay” he responded. He glanced around the room trying to come up with something. His eyes fixated on the Nintendo sitting under the TV cabinet. “What game do me and Nathan have a map of?” I looked over at the NES. I hadn’t thought about this for years, but I knew instantly what he was asking. “YOU don’t have anything. Nathan is the one that made the map for Section Z” His jaw dropped. He tried to trick me, but his plan failed. He knew well and good that Nathan never let him play. It was always ‘I’ll let you play when I die’ or, ‘you can play when I’m done’. The problem was that he never followed through. Usually by the time Nathan was done, the NES was overheated, and the game would no longer load until it cooled down. By that point, it was time for bed.
“How do you know that?” he asked in astonishment. “I know these things because I’m you. Just like I know that you wear t-shirts to the pool because you’re embarrassed by what others will think of your body. I know that you used to think that people that die off in movies were prisoners that were set to be executed from death row, so they used them for making movies. I know all about you because I’m you”
Johnny sat on the end of the couch in bewilderment, his mouth slightly agape. He had never told anyone any of this. He didn’t have any close friends to talk to about such things, and those friends he did have were more acquaintances than friends. There was only one way he could possibly know these things. He was talking to his future self.
I could see Johnny’s mind completely explode. There lay endless possibility and the answers to a million questions he could ask about his own future. He started to ask a question, only to stop, close his mouth, and try asking another. I knew if he kept this up he would have a stroke or something. “Dude, calm yourself. Let’s talk this out rationally, otherwise you’ll end up stroking out or something.” I told him. He took a deep breath and I could hear him muttering quietly. I knew he was trying to form a coherent sentence before he actually spoke it. I did it all the time. “Ok, first of all, are we rich?” he asked with tempered expectation. I chuckled and grinned back at him. “No, not at all. If I was rich, would I be dressed like this?” I replied as I motioned to my beat up brown Vans and worn out jeans and T-shirt. “We-, I – make enough to get by. I’m not poor, but I earn enough to pay the bills.” His face grew a smirk as he commented “Yeah, I figured. What do I do for work? I mean, what do you do for work?” I thought about it for a second. I wondered how much information I should divulge to a younger me. I still didn’t think this whole situation was really happening, but if it was, I probably should proceed with caution. “Well, it’s complicated. I do a little bit of everything. You know how you’re constantly taking things apart? Let’s just say that it’s good to put them back together in order to keep them working. Take good notes on paper if you need to, and make sure you have a clean work area so you can keep track of all the parts.” He gave me a sheepish look. He knew exactly what I was talking about. I had spent countless hours sneaking dad’s tools to my room so I could figure out how something was built and try to figure out how it worked. I had gotten myself into some pretty bad trouble with dad over a drill, his timing light, and other stuff I had taken from his room. His belt had become quite familiar with my butt cheeks.
I gave him a knowing smile. “What else do you want to know?” He thought about it for a second. “Do we have a girlfriend?” I laughed, probably a little more than I should have because his face contorted into a sour frown. “You don’t need to be a jerk about it” he scowled. I continued to chuckle. “Yeah we have a girlfriend. We have more than a girlfriend” I could tell he was irritated with my vague indirect answers. I knew what he was asking. I remember the crush I had on my neighbor across the street. We had been friends since kindergarten, and had been classmates for 1st, 2nd, and 4th grades. We got along really well, and I knew from around 12 or 13 that I wanted to be her boyfriend. Unfortunately, things never progressed beyond the ‘just friends’ stage of things. It wasn’t from lack of effort on my part. We had just grown up together most of our lives that she didn’t see me as anything more than a brother and friend. “Dude, look. You just started to go through changes and you are starting to notice girls, but that doesn’t mean that you need to love every girl that shows you a little kindness or subtle interest. You need to slow down and let things happen naturally. You can’t force a relationship with someone.” Johnny pondered these words for a moment. I sat back and put my feet up on the coffee table. I looked around the room some more while I waited for another question. There was so much I had forgotten, but being back here had unlocked more and more memories that continued to wash over me. I was trying to hold on to my cool as not all those churned up recollections were pleasant. I stood up and walked over to the front door to peer outside the small central window embedded into the center of it. I could see the old neighborhood as I remembered it all those years ago. The lot across the street that served as a parking area for those that worked at the wheel works at the end of the block was empty of cars. I furrowed my brow as I thought for a moment. An empty lot meant it was afterhours or the weekend.
The gears in my own head started turning. “Wait, where is everyone?” I asked Johnny. Johnny turned to look at me still processing my last response. “Uh..oh, Mom and dad are out of town. They took a trip east this time. I think Rio said they are in Arizona right now. Rio and Nathan went out to get some food and to rent some movies from Video Showcase. Knowing them they’ll eat out first. Talia is staying over at Tia Rosie’s place today with her friends.” I grunted at his response. My mind was wandering as he mentioned Talia and Tia Rosie.
A sudden sharp pain pieced my heart. The pain of a thousand memories now unsealed spilled out from the box I had locked them away in. Tears welled in the corners of my eyes as I turned back to look at Johnny. He felt it too. He stared at the floor with an intensity that made me think it would burst into flames at any moment. I walked back over to him and sat next to him. He didn’t move. I placed my hand on his shoulder, and he threw himself into me. I could feel the tears dripping onto me as he sobbed intensely. “Hey man, its ok. It’s going to be ok.” I said as my own tears started to flow uncontrollably. I pulled him close and draped my other arm around him.
I knew the pain he was feeling. It was such a heavy burden, and I knew there was no one he felt he could talk to. I remembered it all so vividly. We sat there for what seemed to be an eternity. When we finally stopped sobbing, and our noses ran dry, we tried to breathe our way through to calmness. I got up and knelt in front of him. “Johnny, listen to me and remember what it is that I’m about to say to you. You are stronger than you think. You are stronger than you believe. NO ONE should ever have to go through this. Just because it happened to Talia, doesn’t mean you have to put up with it any longer. I know you didn’t think it was wrong, but I’m telling you that what she is doing to you is wrong. Talking to mom and dad isn’t going to make them hate you. You are not doing this to her, she is doing it to you. I’m not making excuses for her, but she is also more damaged than anyone realizes, and she is also dealing with the same level of pain you are. Remember that we do unto others what has been done to us. That doesn’t mean we need to continue the cycle of abuse” The lump in my throat grew immense at my own statement. I swallowed it as best I could and continued “You are going to deal with this pain a little bit at a time, and you’ll slowly get over this. It’s like a broken bone. When it happens, you don’t realize how bad the pain is until the adrenaline wears off, but then the immense pain is there. Just remember that this will pass. Just like a broken bone, you will heal over time, and one day, you will realize that the pain is gone and the bone is no longer broken. You’ll remember the pain, but it won’t hurt anymore.”
Johnny sat there in stunned silence. I knew he didn’t have anyone to help him through this. He couldn’t talk to Rio or Nathan about what was going on. Mom and Dad were constantly working to keep the family fed and sheltered and while they provided materially for their kids, emotional help was less available. Perhaps it was due to their energies being divided into 4 kids, a mortgage and multiple jobs, or perhaps it was also the culture of not talking about problems. Either way, they needed to know what was happening. They wouldn’t be able to fix it otherwise. “They’re going to be mad at me” he finally said after a few moments of silence. “No they won’t be. They love us all. I know you’re not used to hearing it, but they do love you. Everything they do is because of their love for us. This isn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. Telling them isn’t going to cause them to be angry.” I thought for a moment to find a good analogy. “You love Odie and Lady, right?” He nodded in agreement. “Ok, how would you feel if you knew someone you trusted was coming to the house and beating up our dogs when we weren’t around?” He thought about it for a second before his face changed to anger. “I’d want to kill them!” “Yes, but would you also feel sad that you weren’t there to try to protect them?” I reasoned. His face changed again. He understood what I was saying. Mom and Dad would be angry, but not necessarily at him. They would also feel a great sadness knowing that someone was hurting their child.
I smiled at him. He understood. I nodded. “Dude…You’re going to come to understand that life is not what you think it will be. Life is messy and can change in an instant. The plans you make today may not make it to next week. A lifelong goal can be derailed because of something out of your control. Mom and dad have spent their life protecting us with the goal of keeping us safe, but circumstances out of their control have affected their kids, and now we- you all have to deal with the fallout. Just remember that you are not the culprit. Yes, mom and dad will be hurt and angry, but not at you. Trust them. They don’t do things to hurt us” Johnny hugged me. I- He didn’t have many people he could trust and open up to. He liked to talk a lot about everything going on in his life, no matter how trivial. Everything, except this. This was a shameful topic, and he didn’t feel like anyone would understand why he didn’t go to an adult sooner. The problem was simple. He simply didn’t understand that it was wrong. Now that he had an adult that he could talk to, himself no less, he wanted to lift this burden off his shoulders. He was happy to have found someone and he hugged me tightly. I hugged him back just at tightly. It wasn’t every day that I could meet my younger self and help to comfort them. “Thank you” he said to me.
The world darkened, and everything faded to black.
I lifted my head out of my knees and looked around. I was sitting under the window in my old bedroom again. Had I fallen asleep? I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked the time. I was emotionally drained and incredibly tired. I hadn’t had sleep like that in years. I got to my feet and looked around the room briefly before walking out to mom and dad’s old room. I grabbed my camera and slowly walked the house, snapping picture after picture. The only sound to be heard was the sound of the camera shutter and my soft footsteps. I thought about my dream as I took pictures.
Upon entering my room, a random memory hit me.
The stash.
I was pretty sure I had taken the hidden box when I moved out all those years ago, but since I was here, I should double check. Heading into the closet, I pushed the panel that led to the attic space out of the way and peered in. I couldn’t see anything, so I reached up there to feel around. The box was indeed gone. I felt around for a few more seconds and was surprised to feel what felt like a thick envelope. I didn’t remember leaving anything up there, but after pulling it down and giving it a cursory glance, I figured it was an old envelope of lost love letters. It wasn’t until I blew off the thick layer of dust that I realized what I was holding. It was a letter. Not just any letter. It was addressed to me.
Under the now semi-cleared layer of dust were the words “To be opened by future me”. I looked at it for a few moments before opening it. I couldn’t remember making this at all, much less storing it up in my secret hiding spot. If ever I hid something, it was in the stash box. My hands shook a bit as I started to open the envelope and pulled out the yellowed pages inside. I started reading.
"Dear Future John. I have spent the last few years remembering a dream I had when I was younger. Life was…difficult at that time, and I spent a lot of time escaping my reality by reading a lot of books and watching a lot of TV. On the off-chance that what I think is a dream really happened. I wanted to write some things down in an effort to give you my thanks. I merely consider myself a conveyer of thanks, although I will pile on my own thanks to you for your words of encouragement. I remember finding a stranger in the house one day while I was home alone. I was afraid he was there to hurt me at first, but after a few moments, I came to realize I was meeting myself. Well, I was meeting me, but from the future. I think he said he was in his 40’s, but I couldn’t tell you with any certainty. Either way, we talked. We talked about life, and what the future held in store for us…
Mostly though, we talked about the abuse. Well, Talked is being generous. We cried, and then we talked. I don’t remember exactly what he told me, but I remember how he made me feel. He made me feel safe. I felt like I could trust him. Trust myself. In the end, he gave me the courage to stand up for myself both at home and at school. He also gave me the courage to talk to mom and dad about what was going on between me and Talia. I do remember being afraid that I would be punished, but he reassured me that they wouldn’t, and that they loved me.
It was a difficult and awkward conversation, but in the end, arrangements were made for me to share a room with Rio and Nathan. I didn’t have much of a relationship with Talia for a long while, but after some years, we managed to patch things up. She apologized to me, and I came to understand the abuse she herself was subjected to by so-called family friends. She didn’t tell me this in an effort to excuse it, but to merely help give me closure to a difficult time from my own childhood. Mom and dad promised to be more attentive to us and we sort of established what I guess you would call an open door policy. We talk more about stuff that’s happening in our lives. Mom is much easier to talk to now. Dad is a little more patient with us too. I apologized to them for not coming to them sooner, and dad gave me a “nugget of wisdom” that I think I’ll live by: We can’t fix what we don’t know is broken. I’ve tried to make sure I talk to them when something is wrong, and I’ve tried to implement that in my life so I don’t have problems with other people.
I’m trying to grow up to be a good guy. I want to have good relationships with people. Nathan says I’m turning into a people pleaser, but I don’t necessarily see that as a terrible thing. I know when to say no to someone. Well, either way, I wanted to make sure I thank you for the help you gave us. I probably won’t remember writing this, but I hope I do find it again someday. Here’s hoping I turn into the man I feel you are. -John Age 16."
I stared at the letter, the words blurring as tears welled up in my eyes. I quickly brushed them away as I quietly spoke to no one in particular. “Thanks guys. I hope I live up to your expectations” I folded the letter, placed it in my pocket, and walked out of the room. After picking up my backpack and tripod, I silently walked towards the front door, my footsteps echoing in the empty house. I turned to look back at the empty living room one last time, and after a moment, I walked out.

Quick backstory I myself currently a 24 year old male is in some weird situationship with a 69 year old man. We first had become aqquinated when I moved to his city for college, I basically rented a room. We were strictly roommates until covid happened. With confinement happening we begun hiking together after work (we both started to work from home due to COVID). After two years of living with him I decided I wanted to branch off and get my own apartment to myself. We would occasionally visit me but that was it. Somewhere along the line I got into some hot water with my financial situation when my employer was becoming toxic and had to switch jobs. We assisted me in helping me with my rent for a few months. He said, "let me gift you this I only have so much time left I want to share it". Of course I accepted because I had no other choice (no family in the picture). A few months later he invited me on a vacation that he was going to pay for. We went and he said, "why don't you buy a home already? Now is the perfect time." My response was, "I don't have enough saved yet to make that jump." Of course he stepped in with open arms again and offered to pay my entire down payment and closing cost ($30,000). Now mind you this home is located 9 hours from where he currently lives. Of course we stay in touch and talk multiple times a week. He then calls me one evening and says, "guess what I just put an offer to buy the house across the street from you". At first I was surprised as he just purchased his new home and would be losing money. He stated that, "he can't stand to be away from me". At the time I didn't to much of it I guess or maybe I blurred it out. Come closing day on his new home he invites me and along the way he stated that he had asked the law firm to add me on the deed of the home. Again I accepted as it was a 700k home that was a golden start to my retirement in my head. His approach was, "I want to make sure you are taken care when I pass away". So fast forward to 2024 I am now almost 25 years of age and first made contact with him at 19 years of age. To another point I hate the area I moved to super rural and no city life. I am miserable and feel trapped everyday. He texts me everyday when are you coming over...and I wanted to add nothing sexual has ever came of any of this. He does request to hug me everything we see each other but not any forceful sexual things. I am planning on putting my house on the market next year but am scared he will want to follow me again. Any suggestions or am I just overthinking the entire situation?!

I'm in my early 40s and feeling lost, and irritated with myself for allowing myself to end up here in the first place. I'd like to move somewhere that is more gay friendly in the U.S. I currently reside in my small hometown in rural TN. Options here for romance, friends, or employment are sparse. A key part in this equation is that I recently left the career field I'd spent over a decade entering due to overwhelming unhappiness with it. I refuse to go back to it.
My question is essentially this: how does one move to a new place without employment already lined up? I don't imagine anyone willing to allow me to rent a place without income verification, even if I could pay upfront for at least 6 months. As for employment itself, I have no idea where to look as I'm not qualified for anything outside my degree'd field and again, I refuse to return to that misery.
If I remain where I am, I will continue to be alone, not just in terms of romance which I'm pretty ok with, but also without friends. My family that remains is a bit of a lost cause - they are full fledged Q-Anon followers, rabidly religious, and many barely tolerate me. I was kicked out of a family business after I came out in my mid 20s, which prompted a long and arduous journey of going back to school and entering a field that I thought I would love but ended up despising to my core. The only reason I returned to my hometown was to care for 2 terminally-ill family members (who were good to me and didn't care that I was gay). I cared for them until they died. I inherited nothing from them, but did not expect to; I didn't do it to get something in return, it was rather to repay them for the kindnesses they showed me when no one else did. I have nothing to my name except debt for school and an older vehicle I own outright. There is a small possibility that I might inherit a substantial sum if I remain for the next 20 years or so, from a parent who previously turned their back on me, but has since made efforts to re-establish a relationship after they saw how I cared for the 2 family members that passed. They have apologized, sort of, and made some attempts to make amends. This inheritance could allow me to retire at 67 instead of working until I die. I suspect if I leave to try and begin a new life elsewhere, I will be written out of it - my brother will work nonstop to see he inherits it all if he can.
In any case, that's my current situation. If I leave, I don't know how I will start over - where to go, what to do to earn a living, no guarantee of new friends, romance, or not ending up homeless. If I stay, almost guaranteed that I will die alone, no friends, no partner, no family I will ever truly trust, and maybe an inheritance that will allow me to retire at the projected age instead of working until I'm dead. And that's a big maybe.
Starting over in your 40s from scratch is no joke. Any advice from fellow gays to another gay who doesn't have a lot to bargain with, but would like to somehow have a life that doesn't continue to be a complete disappointment? Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

Hello! I got offered a job by a company and they offer partial help with relocation to Prague. But I still don't have many specifics about that. And before uprooting all my life I have some things to consider and I would really appreciate it if someone could answer some questions and help me understand how things work in Czech Republic (for context: I am originally from Italy but I have been living in the UK for the past 6 years so I really don't know how things work outside of these two countries to be honest)
How easy is it for foreigners to find a flat to rent in Prague? Also how is the living situation there? I know there's a bit of a housing crisi everywhere across Europe right now, so that's the part that really really worries. Right now where I am, my rent costs around €600 and then with the bills it goes up to about €820. Will it be possible to find something not more expensive then this in a city like Prague or maybe in one of the sourranding cities (I know capitals are always the most expensive)?
In the contract they are offering the equivalent to €1500 euros before tax. I was wondering if after tax this a livable salary in Prague. I looked up the avarege salaries on Google but I really have no idea of how much life costs there. Beside in my experience from Italy and the UK no actual average person has ever been paid the "official average salary" cause the average always gets pushed up by the people who earn more if you see what I mean. So I have issues trusting Google on that and I would much rather hear something from local people.
Also, I am in the process of learning the language through language apps and stuff. But it's still at a very begginer level. Will I be able to manage with just English in Prague for at least the first few months? Of course I hoping that once I am there I'd be able to take actual classes, but you know in the meantime I'll probably only be able to have conversations in English.
Finally, is the healthcare system private or public? Just asking cause on Wikipedia it says that there are certain fees and insurances to pay, and the insurance comes from the employer (at least that's how I understand it). How much does the healthcare really cost? Is it like in the US?
I know these are a lot of questions, sorry but as I said I'd rather hear it from actually people rather than just from Google.
Any help is appreciated! Thank you in advance!!

Finally looking to get out of the rent cycle and am at a bit of a loss on where/who to go to in determining how to get what I’m looking for when I’m flexible on a variety of points.
I live in VHCOL area (Boston) and have looked on Zillow/Redfin and have seen quite a range of prices for places that seem like I’d like them… but I can’t tell if outliers are oveunderpriced. Do I go to a realtor first for a general idea on how the market works? Or do I need to get approval from a lender before going to them?
I’ve been employed as a W-2 employee at my company for 10 years and make 150k (unlikely to significantly change beyond an annual COL adjustment). Debt is 700 per month. I have $33k in cash and $37k in equities immediately available for a down payment and can save around 23k a year from my regular job. I also have additional 1099 income that I would put to a down payment. It seems like places that fit my criteria are uncommon at 500k and semi-common at 600-650k. It seems like I’d only want a mortgage based off W-2 income, so should focus on increasing my down payment amount. Is that affordable after a year? Two years? Do I liquidate the equities now? Who do I even start speaking to first? Thanks to anyone who can provide some advice!

Hi everyone, I was hired in September (VA employment) and was told my position is eligible for EDRP. I've been in contact with HR since submitting the paperwork in September and HR keeps telling me the process is delayed. I have been trying to email HR every 4 weeks or so to keep on top of it but they tell me there is nothing more I can do and everything is pending. EDRP was in my offer letter and I feel like going 6+ months without it is a little unfair? or maybe this is normal for this type of program? Any and all advice/recommendations are welcome..thank you!

Hi! I desperately need a job but cannot edit any resumes or letters because I don't have a product key for word on my laptop. What alternative word processors are out there that produce a product in a format a potential employer can read? Thanks

This take place in California. My dad and I have lived in our home for 4 years. Always paid our rent. At times we've even paid months in advance. The second we got into hardship and was a week late paying rent boom a notice on or door to pay rent within 3 days or quit but we got it done. About a month ago we couldn't pay it and they said they'll be evicting us. We just got the letter in the mail from court. If we decide to fight this, does everybody 18+ on the lease have to attend the court or can just 1 person?

I’m very depressed and low currently - I don’t need Reddit Cares or a referral. I need solid advice from post-menopausal women and other folks 50+ I have asked for advice in some subs and being a relatively regular Redditor I did not expect the anger and mean responses. If you have a mean response, please choose instead not to respond.
For those willing to give solid advice: I am on the verge of what could be a new chaptephase of life and I want to prepare now to enter it well and rebuild myself through it.
I am currently unemployed, this most recent period of unemployment has been 5 months. I am in week 3 of a 6 week recovery from a total abdominal hysterectomy. The week prior to my surgery I took a 5 day in person Level 1 RV tech service class co-sponsored by RV Technical Institute & RV Women’s Alliance - both of which I learned about via Reddit. Apparently there is high demand for RV techs and while the entry salary is $40-50K when you are certified you can make 6 figures (entry and later have 401K match - this is important to know later on). They work M-F 40 hours, no weekends. Day 4 of class I was verbally offered a job - they are waiting on my doctors clearance to work. I loved my time meeting these folks and learning the industry. I passed the class and its exam, and the job offer company offered to pay for the remainder of my certification.
I applied to take the Level 1 class because I want to RV part-time. I don’t yet own an RV, I watch a lot of YouTube & camped about 3 times in my adult life. I love being outdoors, I wanted this to become a post-retirement hobby. I’m thinking Class B van. When I became unemployed, I considered what are the best opportunities of things I enjoy to make lifelong income?
As this was happening a statewide nonprofit offered me a job right away - I applied for one job and they considered me for 3 roles, they are putting me in the highest paying role of the 3 (about $80K, 401K employer match, fully remote but must reside in-state). I am happy they are excited about hiring me but super leery due to my recent past. This job is in my career field and a very different role. 2024 is my 31st year in my career. Almost 4 years ago, the onset of severe perimenopause symptoms upended my entire life. I had just left my job of longest employment of 8 years (began at 55K, left at $68K) for another job in the same organization that paid $115K and seemed like a reach. It was, I wasn’t a good fit and I quit 8 months later. Over my 8 months unemployment without benefits I decided to sell my house I’d owned & lived in 7 years to a broker, allowing me to break even and move out quickly (I had no help moving & moved myself). I took another job as I moved in with family, that job ($70K) would have been perfect but the org foundemy boss was not willing to do what was needed and necessary to make the job manageable and practical. I quit 8 months later and was able to secure unemployment benefits.
The new statewide nonprofit job asked me candidly about my last job -I was honest about my shortcomings & contributions, as well as the environment. I encouraged them to contact my references, who know my shortcomings and how a truly developmental environment would aid me in finally overcoming them. They are still excited to finalize the job offer. I expect they will by this Friday & then I will contact the RV company declining their job offer. But, I want to stay close to RV’ing.
I also am launching a lifelong side business based off of lessons learned from what I most enjoyed about my career in community development - I will soft launch in June with a hard launch planned in early 2025, it’s a virtual space as I want my work from now on to be home-based and/or fully remote; and I am getting through these tough baby “how to start an LLC in my state” baby steps.
I am never married, no kids. I last dated in 2004. I had a 17 year FWB 2004-2022. I tried an international non-denominational church on and off from 1996-2002, 2011-2014, and 2020-2023. I found that church isn’t really prepared to serve or engage older folks so I am not sure I’ll return & I am doubting joining any church as a senior single.
I am the youngest sibling but the one charged with being responsible for my immediate family. My parents, divorced, are 80 & 82. My next oldest sibling is 58. The three of them are chronically ill. I am healthy & trying my best to stay that way and improve it. My older sibling has lived with one parent for about 4-5 years. I’ve been here just over 1 year. I plan to move out into a housing cooperative apartment ASAP (if approved, their “rent” is a fraction of traditional rent).
I spent my life’s savings & retirement the past 4 years to now. I believe having a community of support will be crucial as I age - if I become sick where I cannot work, there is no one to support me. I never have had friends - I have many acquaintances & 1 friend of 30 years. I have never dated more than 2 years but almost all my exes tried to befriend me after apologizing to me about our relationship. I can think of 3 men whom if I said yes to dating them my life would have been different but I simply did not want to & it’s hard to regret that. I do not believe someone will emerge to date now whom I will be attracted to, who actively wants to be healthy & will be with me in my healing into my best self. That makes me sad and holds me back.
I do not want to be sad so much or depressed so often - it comes from never belonging. I am not perfect, I know my flaws & I try to be honest about them as I work on them (learned that as I began my career & never stopped). But I failed in my view, I don’t have a life where I feel whole & fulfilled. All I have written here are my attempts in progress to rebuild not just my income and life’s savings, but to do so as I build my best life. I tried my best and nothing worked out. I’m taking things slower than I have and I ask myself if what I am doing brings me freedom, peace & joy.
How should I change my view/my mindset as I rebuild? Other specific advice?

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