Dresden plate or double wedding ring
For thinking about leaving my fiance because we have different political and social ideologies
2024.05.15 18:06 lalawandering For thinking about leaving my fiance because we have different political and social ideologies
I am F53 and engaged to M60. We've been together for nearly 3 years. When we first met, he said he was a Trump fan. I am not. He also is Morman, but told me he wouldn't ever push that on me. Because he's Morman, he doesn't drink (much). Again, he said it was fine if I did. I also smoked when we first met.
He is a good man, and we had fun together. Admittedly, I'd been single and lonely after ending an engagement just before COVID and I liked having a nice guy to hang out with. He treated me well, was funny and kind.
After 5 months, I got a job offer to move across the country, and when we spoke about it, he encouraged me to go and agreed to maintain our relationship long distance. I commuted to my job every other week from Feb. 2021 to Sept. 21 and then moved completely. He even said at that time he'd consider moving where I was "some day."
I traveled back and forth and was with him over the Christmas holidays in 2022/2023.
Then he came to visit me for a month in Feb/Mar 2023. We went on a cruise and then he worked from my house and I worked at home and at the office. During that time, his mother would call every day and berate him for leaving for so long. She has the beginnings of dementia, but it was difficult to hear their conversations, and I eventually just left the room when she called.
During that trip, he said he could never move that far from his parents while they're alive and that he probably didn't want to move where I was anyway. Also during that trip, he got mad at me for being too competitive when we played Wordle and Trivial Pursuit because I did a little trash talking. I tried to stop doing that, but he was very sensistive to it. Eventually, after two or three (IMO) stupid fights about it, he talked to his friend who told him to stop being such a p****. We've not argued about that since, but I also no longer play any games with him.
Then, in April of 2023, I was diagnosed with kidney cancer. I went on medical leave and had my kidney removed in June of 2023. I traveled to his house before the surgery and stayed for about a month, and then he came to stay with me for the surgery and took amazing care of me while I was in the hospital and recovered. By then I'd decided I no longer wanted to be so far away from my family, including my college-age kids so I rented out my house and moved fully in with him in July of 2023. By now, we agreed we loved each other and were working toward marriage.
Before I moved, I suggested we could rent out his condo and buy a place together. But when I started talking about locations and looking at houses, he said he couldn't move and wanted to stay close to his parents. I respect that, but my (new job) is more than an hour away from his house, and I have to go in 3 times a week. Nonetheless, I agreed we could just stay in the condo.
In December of 2023, we picked out and purchased an engagement ring. It sat in our home until the beginning of March. Some time in February he started talking to his family. His two adult daughters were supportive, but his parents and aunt were not. Though they all proported to love me, they just didn't see why at his age he'd even want to get married again. I have and make more money than him now, but he stands to inherit much more than me. We agreed to do a prenup to protect our estates for our children while also taking care of each other. He kept me aprised of his challenging conversations but eventually told me he got his parents and aunt to agree to support our wishes.
In March, while he came with me on a business trip, he proposed while we were out for dinner. I'll admit it was a big anti-climactic, but I suppose I felt that's sort of to be expected at our age. Btw we were both married for 10+ years and have two children. We were also both previously engaged but broke those off a year or so before we met.
Then, he never told anyone that we actually got engaged. I asked why, and he said since he told them he was going to give me a ring, they knew what the needed to know. I sat through at least two meals with his parents and one with his brother and it never came up. He didn't mention it, and they didn't notice. That felt uncomfortable, and I told him that. He didn't do anything different. We went to a family wedding, and his sister in law noticed my ring, and as I expected, made a big deal of it. It still didn't feel celebratory.
I guess I started to feel insecure and doubtful around this time and possibly started noticing (maybe even looking for) other things. We had a converation about how I was working with some colleagues to start an LGBTQ+ employee resource group at work and how I was frustrated that leadership, which is in a European country, did not support our efforst. I'd been an executive sponsor of such a group at a different job before, and I'm a passionate ally. When I expressed my frustration, he told me he understood why the company wouldn't want to set one up because they just want to focus on business. I tried to speak to him about the benefits of embracing these kinds of diversity efforts have at work, but it was clear he didn't want to hear it.
Then, and I think this was a different conversation, he said he believes being LGBTQ+ is immoral. I asked if that was due to his religion, and he said no, he's always felt that way. I reminded him that my daughter sees herself as part of that community, and his response was that he would never treat her poorly and would never say anything unless he was asked. That one hurt.
Over the next several weeks, we had more frustrating conversations. One began as a result of that viral bear in the woods question. I told him I too would choose the unknown bear over an unknown man and he could not in any way comprehend what we were talking about. I admittedly got frustrated, but I tried to explain about how women are disproportionately affected by violence, and he said "What about men. We get attacked too." I was incredulous but not getting anywhere.
I even started therapy again because I just wasn't getting past this. After my first session, I sat down and told my fiance that I was feeling disconnected and was worried about our different social and political ideologies. He asked me what other areas I felt we were different in. I reminded him about my passionate opinions about abortion rights. womens health issues, etc. And he said he knew I was kind of a feminist. I think we ended by saying we might need to stay away from some of these issues.
Then just last night, I asked how he was feeling about everything. And the whole thing started again, but got even worse. I told him I'm not kind of a feminist, but that I am a feminist. He asked me what that meant, and I reitterated several issues I'm passionate about. And he said something like, "what about issues facing men... it's not easy being a man." I said we weren't talking about men but that we're talking about issues that face women, including me. He said that was selfish.
I asked him if he had the same conversation with someone in a minority population and that person told him about things they've experienced because of their skin color. He said yes he'd had those converations and told a black person, for example, that if he thinks he has it hard, try trading places with him. My fiance grew up middle class, was well fed and clothed, had college paid for him, graduated, developed a good career, got married, moved to a upscale community and had children. Did I mention he is a POC? His parents are German and Phillipino, but he looks Samoan.
This let to a conversation about privelege, and he just could not understand it it all. When I suggested that he faced fewer obstacles than other people by virtue of the family he was born into, he said "OK, why does that matter. Am I supposed to feel bad?" I was just so frustrated at this point, and it felt like not only could he not understand or respect how I look at things, but that he was trying to poke holes in my thoughts.
So I know that was a long story, but it was a bit cathartic to put it down on paper. We spoke again this morning and both agreed these difference in social issues are serious and that we should step back and re-evaluate our engagement, and ultimately our relationship.
I guess I'm asking if I am the asshole for running through some red flags earlier in our relationship to end up now facing the prospect of moving for the third time 2.5 years. It's really been a crazy few years...
submitted by lalawandering to AITAH [link] [comments]
He is a good man, and we had fun together. Admittedly, I'd been single and lonely after ending an engagement just before COVID and I liked having a nice guy to hang out with. He treated me well, was funny and kind.
After 5 months, I got a job offer to move across the country, and when we spoke about it, he encouraged me to go and agreed to maintain our relationship long distance. I commuted to my job every other week from Feb. 2021 to Sept. 21 and then moved completely. He even said at that time he'd consider moving where I was "some day."
I traveled back and forth and was with him over the Christmas holidays in 2022/2023.
Then he came to visit me for a month in Feb/Mar 2023. We went on a cruise and then he worked from my house and I worked at home and at the office. During that time, his mother would call every day and berate him for leaving for so long. She has the beginnings of dementia, but it was difficult to hear their conversations, and I eventually just left the room when she called.
During that trip, he said he could never move that far from his parents while they're alive and that he probably didn't want to move where I was anyway. Also during that trip, he got mad at me for being too competitive when we played Wordle and Trivial Pursuit because I did a little trash talking. I tried to stop doing that, but he was very sensistive to it. Eventually, after two or three (IMO) stupid fights about it, he talked to his friend who told him to stop being such a p****. We've not argued about that since, but I also no longer play any games with him.
Then, in April of 2023, I was diagnosed with kidney cancer. I went on medical leave and had my kidney removed in June of 2023. I traveled to his house before the surgery and stayed for about a month, and then he came to stay with me for the surgery and took amazing care of me while I was in the hospital and recovered. By then I'd decided I no longer wanted to be so far away from my family, including my college-age kids so I rented out my house and moved fully in with him in July of 2023. By now, we agreed we loved each other and were working toward marriage.
Before I moved, I suggested we could rent out his condo and buy a place together. But when I started talking about locations and looking at houses, he said he couldn't move and wanted to stay close to his parents. I respect that, but my (new job) is more than an hour away from his house, and I have to go in 3 times a week. Nonetheless, I agreed we could just stay in the condo.
In December of 2023, we picked out and purchased an engagement ring. It sat in our home until the beginning of March. Some time in February he started talking to his family. His two adult daughters were supportive, but his parents and aunt were not. Though they all proported to love me, they just didn't see why at his age he'd even want to get married again. I have and make more money than him now, but he stands to inherit much more than me. We agreed to do a prenup to protect our estates for our children while also taking care of each other. He kept me aprised of his challenging conversations but eventually told me he got his parents and aunt to agree to support our wishes.
In March, while he came with me on a business trip, he proposed while we were out for dinner. I'll admit it was a big anti-climactic, but I suppose I felt that's sort of to be expected at our age. Btw we were both married for 10+ years and have two children. We were also both previously engaged but broke those off a year or so before we met.
Then, he never told anyone that we actually got engaged. I asked why, and he said since he told them he was going to give me a ring, they knew what the needed to know. I sat through at least two meals with his parents and one with his brother and it never came up. He didn't mention it, and they didn't notice. That felt uncomfortable, and I told him that. He didn't do anything different. We went to a family wedding, and his sister in law noticed my ring, and as I expected, made a big deal of it. It still didn't feel celebratory.
I guess I started to feel insecure and doubtful around this time and possibly started noticing (maybe even looking for) other things. We had a converation about how I was working with some colleagues to start an LGBTQ+ employee resource group at work and how I was frustrated that leadership, which is in a European country, did not support our efforst. I'd been an executive sponsor of such a group at a different job before, and I'm a passionate ally. When I expressed my frustration, he told me he understood why the company wouldn't want to set one up because they just want to focus on business. I tried to speak to him about the benefits of embracing these kinds of diversity efforts have at work, but it was clear he didn't want to hear it.
Then, and I think this was a different conversation, he said he believes being LGBTQ+ is immoral. I asked if that was due to his religion, and he said no, he's always felt that way. I reminded him that my daughter sees herself as part of that community, and his response was that he would never treat her poorly and would never say anything unless he was asked. That one hurt.
Over the next several weeks, we had more frustrating conversations. One began as a result of that viral bear in the woods question. I told him I too would choose the unknown bear over an unknown man and he could not in any way comprehend what we were talking about. I admittedly got frustrated, but I tried to explain about how women are disproportionately affected by violence, and he said "What about men. We get attacked too." I was incredulous but not getting anywhere.
I even started therapy again because I just wasn't getting past this. After my first session, I sat down and told my fiance that I was feeling disconnected and was worried about our different social and political ideologies. He asked me what other areas I felt we were different in. I reminded him about my passionate opinions about abortion rights. womens health issues, etc. And he said he knew I was kind of a feminist. I think we ended by saying we might need to stay away from some of these issues.
Then just last night, I asked how he was feeling about everything. And the whole thing started again, but got even worse. I told him I'm not kind of a feminist, but that I am a feminist. He asked me what that meant, and I reitterated several issues I'm passionate about. And he said something like, "what about issues facing men... it's not easy being a man." I said we weren't talking about men but that we're talking about issues that face women, including me. He said that was selfish.
I asked him if he had the same conversation with someone in a minority population and that person told him about things they've experienced because of their skin color. He said yes he'd had those converations and told a black person, for example, that if he thinks he has it hard, try trading places with him. My fiance grew up middle class, was well fed and clothed, had college paid for him, graduated, developed a good career, got married, moved to a upscale community and had children. Did I mention he is a POC? His parents are German and Phillipino, but he looks Samoan.
This let to a conversation about privelege, and he just could not understand it it all. When I suggested that he faced fewer obstacles than other people by virtue of the family he was born into, he said "OK, why does that matter. Am I supposed to feel bad?" I was just so frustrated at this point, and it felt like not only could he not understand or respect how I look at things, but that he was trying to poke holes in my thoughts.
So I know that was a long story, but it was a bit cathartic to put it down on paper. We spoke again this morning and both agreed these difference in social issues are serious and that we should step back and re-evaluate our engagement, and ultimately our relationship.
I guess I'm asking if I am the asshole for running through some red flags earlier in our relationship to end up now facing the prospect of moving for the third time 2.5 years. It's really been a crazy few years...
2024.05.15 18:03 Erik_TWC Episode 114 - WWE King and Queen of the Ring Ideas, Fantasy Booking Ilja/Gunther, Double or Nothing by The Ringside Rundown
 | submitted by Erik_TWC to WrestlingPodcasts [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 18:02 Erik_TWC Episode 114 - WWE King and Queen of the Ring Ideas, Fantasy Booking Ilja/Gunther, Double or Nothing by The Ringside Rundown
| | submitted by Erik_TWC to WrestlingPod [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 17:59 Bloodhawk360 Future of tempering and uniques
I know it’s only day 2 of the season, and we can all pretty much agree at this point this season is great.
Helltide changes are awesome, and most importantly, fun and engaging.
Loot feels so much better, no more hoarding aspects like I’m playing my favorite JRPG saving the best consumables only for the end of the season to come and I never use my 100% aspect rolls.
However, one small minor thing I think needs looked at. Currently, Tempering is INSANE. Like, weapon, rings, amulets being able to sometimes double dip HUGE offensive power makes tempering an absolute massive power spike. As the system is for legendaries, I quite like it.
This however makes uniques sometimes even less powerful though. Besides the case of a select few (such as shaco), the inability to temper Uniques makes many of them much much weaker than regular legendaries with double tempering.
I would like to see some form of buff to accommodate some uniques then, either in the way of allowing tempering on uniques, or just raw buffs. Additionally, it would be possibly cool to see “unique” temper recipes, that you collect for specific uniques, to maybe add a small way to customize them.
Any one else have thoughts?
submitted by Bloodhawk360 to diablo4 [link] [comments]
Helltide changes are awesome, and most importantly, fun and engaging.
Loot feels so much better, no more hoarding aspects like I’m playing my favorite JRPG saving the best consumables only for the end of the season to come and I never use my 100% aspect rolls.
However, one small minor thing I think needs looked at. Currently, Tempering is INSANE. Like, weapon, rings, amulets being able to sometimes double dip HUGE offensive power makes tempering an absolute massive power spike. As the system is for legendaries, I quite like it.
This however makes uniques sometimes even less powerful though. Besides the case of a select few (such as shaco), the inability to temper Uniques makes many of them much much weaker than regular legendaries with double tempering.
I would like to see some form of buff to accommodate some uniques then, either in the way of allowing tempering on uniques, or just raw buffs. Additionally, it would be possibly cool to see “unique” temper recipes, that you collect for specific uniques, to maybe add a small way to customize them.
Any one else have thoughts?
2024.05.15 17:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyYcancer zodiac
cancer zodiac dates
10 things about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac traits
cancer zodiac personality
cancer zodiac symbol
cancer zodiac month
cancer zodiac tattoo
cancer zodiac characteristics
cancer zodiac facts
cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac animal
cancer zodiac and capricorn
cancer zodiac art
cancer zodiac aesthetic
cancer zodiac air sign
cancer zodiac astrology
cancer zodiac attributes
cancer zodiac and scorpio
cancer zodiac and aries
cancer zodiac and aquarius
about cancer zodiac sign
all about cancer zodiac
are cancer zodiac dangerous
about cancer zodiac sign girl
age of cancer zodiac
attributes of cancer zodiac sign
after cancer zodiac
animal for cancer zodiac sign
anime characters cancer zodiac
aries and cancer zodiac sign compatibility
cancer zodiac birthday
cancer zodiac bad traits
cancer zodiac birthstone
cancer zodiac best match
cancer zodiac birth dates
cancer zodiac body part
cancer zodiac background
cancer zodiac bracelet
cancer zodiac best friends
cancer zodiac baby girl
best crystals for cancer zodiac
bad things about cancer zodiac
boy cancer zodiac
best match for cancer zodiac
birthday wishes for cancer zodiac
best color for cancer zodiac
best job for cancer zodiac
best stone for cancer zodiac
birthstone for cancer zodiac
bracelet for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac compatibility
cancer zodiac color
cancer zodiac celebrities
cancer zodiac constellation
cancer zodiac crystals
cancer zodiac color palette
cancer zodiac characteristics female
cancer zodiac compatibility chart
cancer zodiac chinese
cancer zodiac sign dates
cancer zodiac dates range
cancer zodiac description
cancer zodiac days
cancer zodiac demon
cancer zodiac drawing
cancer zodiac daily
cancer zodiac dates 2024
cancer zodiac dogs
cancer zodiac dark side
definition of cancer zodiac sign
dates for cancer zodiac sign
dark side of cancer zodiac signs
dragon cancer zodiac
different types of cancer zodiac
demon cancer zodiac
does cancer zodiac have anger issues
description of cancer zodiac sign
double cancer zodiac
diamond for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac element
cancer zodiac emoji
cancer zodiac enemies
cancer zodiac explained
cancer zodiac earrings
cancer zodiac energy
cancer zodiac ear piercing
cancer zodiac eyes
cancer zodiac español
cancer zodiac emotionally manipulative
everything about cancer zodiac
evolved cancer zodiac
element of cancer zodiac
evil cancer zodiac
enemy of cancer zodiac
emerald for cancer zodiac
easy cancer zodiac drawing
emotional cancer zodiac
explain cancer zodiac sign
everything you need to know about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac flower
cancer zodiac flower tattoo
cancer zodiac for today
cancer zodiac female
cancer zodiac favorite color
cancer zodiac famous people
cancer zodiac fire sign
cancer zodiac friends
cancer zodiac facts male
facts about cancer zodiac sign
facts about cancer zodiac woman
fun facts about cancer zodiac
famous cancer zodiac
flower for cancer zodiac
facts about cancer zodiac man
features of cancer zodiac sign
female cancer zodiac sign
friends of cancer zodiac
funny cancer zodiac quotes
cancer zodiac girl
cancer zodiac gemstone
cancer zodiac greek god
cancer zodiac god
cancer zodiac goddess
cancer zodiac gif
cancer zodiac gem
cancer zodiac good and bad traits
cancer zodiac good in bed
cancer zodiac gifts
good things about cancer zodiac
geek bar cancer zodiac flavor
gemstone for cancer zodiac
girl cancer zodiac
gifts for cancer zodiac man
gifts for cancer zodiac woman
gemstone for cancer zodiac sign
girly cancer zodiac tattoo
god of cancer zodiac
gem for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac horoscope today
cancer zodiac horoscope
cancer zodiac health problems
cancer zodiac horoscope 2024
cancer zodiac history
cancer zodiac house
cancer zodiac hand tattoo
cancer zodiac hair color
cancer zodiac hoodie
cancer zodiac humor
how rare is cancer zodiac sign
happy birthday cancer zodiac
how is cancer zodiac sign
how dangerous is cancer zodiac
how to be friends with a cancer zodiac
how will cancer zodiac die
how to deal with cancer zodiac sign
healing crystals for cancer zodiac
habits of cancer zodiac
herbs for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac in hindi
cancer zodiac in chinese
cancer zodiac images
cancer zodiac in telugu
cancer zodiac info
cancer zodiac in spanish
cancer zodiac is what month
cancer zodiac in relationships
cancer zodiac information
cancer zodiac in 2024
is cancer zodiac dangerous
interesting facts about cancer zodiac
is cancer zodiac rare
information about cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac rich or poor
instagram bio for cancer zodiac
images of cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac sign lucky
indian celebrities with cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac a water sign
cancer zodiac jewelry
cancer zodiac jobs
cancer zodiac july
cancer zodiac june
cancer zodiac january 2024
cancer zodiac june 21
cancer zodiac japanese
cancer zodiac july 22
cancer zodiac june 27
cancer zodiac july 16
july cancer zodiac
jobs for cancer zodiac
june cancer zodiac sign
july cancer zodiac traits
jewelry for cancer zodiac
june cancer zodiac personality
june cancer zodiac traits
june vs july cancer zodiac
july birthday cancer zodiac
jade for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac kids
cancer zodiac keywords
cancer zodiac keychain
cancer zodiac kpop idols
cancer zodiac killers
cancer zodiac karma
cancer zodiac know for
cancer zodiac keyboard symbol
cancer zodiac child
cancer zodiac knight
kpop idols cancer zodiac
kpop idols who have cancer zodiac sign
korean actors cancer zodiac
korean celebrities with cancer zodiac sign
katangian ng cancer zodiac
karaang napta cancer zodiac sign
karma cancer zodiac
what kind of person is cancer zodiac sign
things to know about cancer zodiac
everything to know about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac lucky numbers
cancer zodiac love
cancer zodiac logo
cancer zodiac love language
cancer zodiac lucky colors
cancer zodiac love compatibility
cancer zodiac libra
cancer zodiac lips
cancer zodiac least compatibility
cancer zodiac leo
lucky stone for cancer zodiac sign
logo cancer zodiac
leo and cancer zodiac sign
lucky color for cancer zodiac
lucky wallpaper for cancer zodiac
lucky number for cancer zodiac sign
lunar eclipse effect on cancer zodiac
libra and cancer zodiac sign compatibility
last day of cancer zodiac
love life of cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac meaning
cancer zodiac men
cancer zodiac memes
cancer zodiac match
cancer zodiac month dates
cancer zodiac moon sign
cancer zodiac moon
cancer zodiac meaning male
cancer zodiac meaning female
meaning of cancer zodiac sign
male cancer zodiac
meaningful cancer zodiac tattoo
more about cancer zodiac sign
month of cancer zodiac sign
moonstone for cancer zodiac
month of cancer zodiac
male cancer zodiac tattoo
match for cancer zodiac
mlbb cancer zodiac skin
cancer zodiac necklace
cancer zodiac negative traits
cancer zodiac number
cancer zodiac names
cancer zodiac nails
cancer zodiac nail designs
cancer zodiac nicknames
cancer zodiac necklace gold
cancer zodiac neck tattoo
cancer zodiac necklace silver
nicknames for cancer zodiac
names for cancer zodiac girl
nature of cancer zodiac sign
names for cancer zodiac boy
negatives of cancer zodiac
nature of cancer zodiac
number for cancer zodiac
nba players cancer zodiac
names related to cancer zodiac
next to cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac outfits
cancer zodiac origin
cancer zodiac opposite
cancer zodiac opposite sign
cancer zodiac overview
cancer zodiac of the day
cancer zodiac oc
cancer zodiac origin story
cancer zodiac occupations
cancer zodiac other names
opposite of cancer zodiac
one word to describe cancer zodiac
other names for cancer zodiac
outfits for cancer zodiac sign
opal for cancer zodiac
one piece cancer zodiac
october cancer zodiac
onyx for cancer zodiac
another word for cancer zodiac
ox cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac personality traits
cancer zodiac planet
cancer zodiac personality female
cancer zodiac personality male
cancer zodiac pictures
cancer zodiac powers
cancer zodiac pros and cons
cancer zodiac pendant
cancer zodiac power color
personality of cancer zodiac sign
picture of cancer zodiac sign
pros and cons of cancer zodiac
pictures of cancer zodiac sign girl
planet for cancer zodiac
pisces and cancer zodiac sign
power of cancer zodiac sign
pearl for cancer zodiac
peacock cancer zodiac
perfect match for cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac quotes
cancer zodiac qualities
cancer zodiac quotes funny
cancer zodiac quiz
cancer zodiac questions
cancer zodiac quote of the day
cancer zodiac quiet
cancer zodiac quiz buzzfeed
cancer zodiac quora
cancer zodiac queen
qualities of cancer zodiac sign
qualities of a cancer zodiac
quotes about cancer zodiac
questions to ask a cancer zodiac
quotes for cancer zodiac sign
quiet cancer zodiac
questions for cancer zodiac
questions to ask a cancer zodiac sign
quiz for cancer zodiac
quora cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac reading
cancer zodiac red flags
cancer zodiac reading today
cancer zodiac ruling planet
cancer zodiac rising sign
cancer zodiac relationship
cancer zodiac reddit
cancer zodiac ring
cancer zodiac range
cancer zodiac rappers
ring for cancer zodiac
ruby for cancer zodiac
rabbit cancer zodiac
red flag cancer zodiac
rappers that are cancer zodiac sign
real cancer zodiac facts
rat cancer zodiac
ruling planet of cancer zodiac sign
random facts about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac sign traits
cancer zodiac sign meaning
cancer zodiac sign month
cancer zodiac stone
cancer zodiac soulmate
cancer zodiac sign compatibility
cancer zodiac sign tattoo
sign of cancer zodiac
stones for cancer zodiac
symbol for cancer zodiac
stone for cancer zodiac sign
symbol of cancer zodiac sign
scary facts about cancer zodiac
serial killers with cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac tattoo ideas
cancer zodiac today
cancer zodiac tattoos for females
cancer zodiac traits female
cancer zodiac traits male
cancer zodiac tattoos for guys
cancer zodiac tarot card
cancer zodiac type
traits of cancer zodiac
things about cancer zodiac sign
tattoo cancer zodiac
types of cancer zodiac
tattoo ideas for cancer zodiac
the meaning of cancer zodiac sign
tattoo cancer zodiac sign
today cancer zodiac
today cancer zodiac sign
today's cancer zodiac horoscope
cancer zodiac urban dictionary
cancer zodiac usernames
cancer zodiac upset
cancer zodiac usa today
cancer zodiac usernames for instagram
cancer zodiac unlucky numbers
cancer zodiac unlucky color
cancer zodiac urdu
cancer zodiac unique facts
cancer zodiac unlucky
unique cancer zodiac tattoos
unique cancer zodiac tattoos for females
ugali ng cancer zodiac sign
understanding cancer zodiac
username for cancer zodiac
urban dictionary cancer zodiac sign
unhealthy cancer zodiac
usa today cancer zodiac
unknown facts about cancer zodiac
unlucky colour for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac virgo
cancer zodiac vape
cancer zodiac vibes
cancer zodiac videos
cancer zodiac vs scorpio
cancer zodiac vs leo
cancer zodiac venus
cancer zodiac vector
cancer zodiac vs gemini
cancer zodiac vindictive
virgo and cancer zodiac sign
vans cancer zodiac
virgo and cancer zodiac
villains cancer zodiac
vintage cancer zodiac
vintage cancer zodiac charm
venus in cancer zodiac
van cleef zodiac pendant cancer
cancer zodiac in vietnamese
cancer zodiac water sign
cancer zodiac weakness
cancer zodiac woman
cancer zodiac wallpaper
cancer zodiac what month
cancer zodiac water or fire
cancer zodiac worst match
cancer zodiac worst traits
cancer zodiac when mad
cancer zodiac wallpaper aesthetic
what is a cancer zodiac
what month is cancer zodiac sign
what month is cancer zodiac
what color is cancer zodiac
weakness of cancer zodiac
what are the traits of a cancer zodiac sign
what is the meaning of cancer zodiac sign
woman cancer zodiac
what is a cancer zodiac animal
what is good about cancer zodiac sign
cancer x zodiac
zodiac cancer x gemini
astrology cancer x capricorn
cancer zodiac letters
cancer x
cancer x cancer zodiac compatibility
cancer x cancer zodiac
zodiak taurus x cancer
what sign are cancer
x cancer
cancer zodiac year 2024
cancer zodiac yin yang
cancer zodiac year
cancer zodiac yin or yang
cancer zodiac yesterday
cancer zodiac year of dragon
what are cancer zodiac signs
year 2024 for cancer zodiac
yin yang cancer zodiac
year of the dragon for cancer zodiac sign
year of cancer zodiac
youtubers with cancer zodiac
year 2023 for cancer zodiac sign
year of the dragon for cancer zodiac
what year is cancer zodiac sign
what does it mean if you are a cancer zodiac
how to know if your a cancer zodiac sign
cancer astrology zone
cancer zodiac pisces zodiac
why are zodiac cancers so dangerous
cancer about zodiac
cancer zodiac in chinese zodiac
cancer zodiac zodiac
cancer sheep zodiac
zodiac cancer characteristics
zodiac cancer celebrities
zodiac cancer child
zodiac cancer chart
cancer horoscope 0800
cancer zodiac july 07
horoscope cancer 09 juin 2023
are cancers good for cancers
are cancers lucky
cancer sun 0 degrees
cancer 0 degrees
what are cancers sign
why are cancers called cancer
why is cancer called cancer zodiac
what represents cancer zodiac
0 degree cancer astrology
0 degree cancer
0 cancer
cancer zodiac 15 year cycle
cancer zodiac 10 things
cancer zodiac 10
cancer zodiac 18k
cancer zodiac 15th birthday
cancer 101 zodiac
zodiac cancer 16
cancer horoscope 19 march 2024
cancer horoscope 13 december 2023
cancer horoscope 11 march 2024
10 bad things about cancer zodiac
10 things about cancer zodiac male
10 things about cancer zodiac female
100 facts about cancer zodiac
10 facts about cancer zodiac
10 good things about cancer zodiac
10 interesting facts about cancer zodiac
10 facts about cancer zodiac sign
14k gold cancer zodiac necklace
cancer zodiac 2024
cancer zodiac 2024 prediction
cancer zodiac 2023
cancer zodiac 2025
cancer zodiac 2024 january
cancer zodiac 2024 career
cancer zodiac 2023 predictions
cancer zodiac 2024 in hindi
cancer zodiac 2024 march
cancer zodiac 2023 horoscope
2024 for cancer zodiac
2 types of cancer zodiac
2025 for cancer zodiac
20 facts about cancer zodiac
2026 for cancer zodiac
2023 for cancer zodiac
2023 cancer zodiac predictions
2024 prediction for cancer zodiac
2024 lucky color for cancer zodiac sign
2024 color of the year for cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac 3 stages
cancer zodiac 3 types
cancer zodiac 3 signs
cancer 3 zodiac
cancer horoscope 31 january 2024
cancer horoscope 30 march 2024
cancer horoscope 31 july 2023
cancer horoscope 30 march 2023
cancer horoscope 30 august 2023
cancer horoscope 30 november 2023
3 types of cancer zodiac
3 stages of cancer zodiac
3 words to describe cancer zodiac
3 facts about cancer zodiac
3 different types of cancer zodiac
3d cancer zodiac sign
3 fun facts about cancer zodiac
august 31 zodiac sign compatibility with cancer
cancer june 30 zodiac sign
cancer zodiac june 30
cancer horoscope 4 march 2024
cancer horoscope 4 april 2024
cancer horoscope 4 may 2023
cancer horoscope 4 january 2024
cancer horoscope 4 october 2023
cancer horoscope 4 april 2023
cancer horoscope 4 september 2023
cancer horoscope 4th december 2023
cancer horoscope 4 july 2023
cancer horoscope 4 june 2023
4 types of cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac wallpaper 4k
cancer zodiac july 4
zodiac sign of cancer 4 letters
what do cancer zodiac sign mean
cancer zodiac rules
4 cancers
zodiac cancer types
cancer horoscope 5 march 2024
cancer horoscope 5 april 2024
cancer horoscope 5 october 2023
cancer horoscope 5 april 2023
cancer horoscope 5 june 2023
cancer horoscope 5 july 2023
cancer horoscope 5 january 2024
cancer horoscope 5 may 2023
cancer horoscope 5 february 2024
cancer horoscope 5 december 2023
5 facts about cancer zodiac
50 cent is a cancer zodiac
50 cent zodiac sign cancer
cancer 5th house zodiac
cancer zodiac sign july 5
cancer zodiac july 5
june 5 zodiac sign cancer
5 cancers
cancer zodiac 69
cancer zodiac 69 tattoo
cancer zodiac 69 meaning
cancer horoscope 6 march 2024
cancer horoscope 6 july 2023
cancer horoscope 6 april 2023
cancer horoscope 6 december 2023
cancer horoscope 6 october 2023
cancer horoscope 6 june 2023
cancer horoscope 6 september 2023
69 cancer zodiac
meaning of cancer zodiac sign 69
cancer zodiac july 6
what does the 69 mean for cancer
cancer born on july 6
cancer big 6 astrology
69 cancer sign
6 cancer causing foods
cancer horoscope 7 march 2024
cancer horoscope 7 may 2023
cancer horoscope 7 september 2023
cancer horoscope 7 july 2023
cancer horoscope 7 june 2023
cancer horoscope 7th may 2023
cancer horoscope 7 november 2023
cancer horoscope 7 august 2023
cancer horoscope 7 april 2023
cancer horoscope 7 february 2024
cancer zodiac july 7
cancer horoscope 8 march 2024
cancer horoscope 8 january 2024
cancer horoscope 8 may 2023
cancer horoscope 8 september 2023
cancer horoscope 8 june 2023
cancer horoscope 8 april 2023
cancer horoscope 8 august 2023
cancer horoscope 8 december 2023
cancer horoscope 8 november 2023
cancer horoscope 8th march 2024
july 8th cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac july 8
signo zodiacal cancer julio 8
what flower represents cancer zodiac
why cancer is dangerous zodiac
what gifts do cancers like
cancer 8h
cancer horoscope 9 june 2023
cancer horoscope 9 may 2023
cancer horoscope 9 march 2024
cancer horoscope 9 january 2024
cancer horoscope 9 april 2023
cancer horoscope 9 october 2023
cancer horoscope 9 september 2023
cancer horoscope 9 november 2023
cancer horoscope 9 august 2023
cancer horoscope 9th april 2023
9 cancer zodiac sign
july 9 zodiac sign cancer
cancer zodiac july 9
what do cancer look like zodiac
what does cancer hate zodiac
9 cancer symptoms
what cancer zodiac sign
what cancer zodiac sign means
2024.05.15 17:30 Intrepid-Analyst-363 Robyn’s sensitive girls
I was watching some clips from the show and in that first season when the show Robyn having to deal with kids, and even on the wedding day during pictures, Robyn is frustrated (particularly with Breanna). She’s calling her a Prima Donna and saying how she “gets hurt easy”. She’s clearly frustrated with that behavior. It’s just finally dawning on me the double standard. It’s frustrating to her, but how dare you say or do anything to MY kids (even though you are all supposed to be integrating. Anybody else see this or other examples?
submitted by Intrepid-Analyst-363 to SisterWivesFans [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 17:10 Chen_Geller Tolkien Begginings: the antecedents of Peter Jackson's (and others) Middle-earth
 | I still sit sometimes and chuckle, thinking "When Ralph Bakshi started animating The Lord of the Rings in 1976, did he know what he was going to unleash on the world?" There was also the Rankin/Bass TV special, being developed concurrently, but its the Bakshi film that, in 1979, Peter Jackson saw, and this young Photoengraver would later direct six (!) live-action Tolkien films and, between himself and co-producer Philippa Boyens, are hard to work producing three more such films. Other adaptations since - namely, The Rings of Power (especially Season One) but also games from The Shadow of Mordor to Return to Moria - have at the very least taken cues from Jackson's films. All because a Kiwi photoengraver saw a cartoon.... submitted by Chen_Geller to lotr [link] [comments] But the relationship between these properties is not so clear-cut as it may seem. I ednumbered the similarities and dissimilarities between Jacksons' films and The Rings of Power elsewhere. Now I want to delve deeper into the similarities and dissimilarities between Jackson and previous adaptations of Tolkien. The Rankin/Bass TV SpecialsSide-by-side video comparisons between Jackson's films and the two Rankin/Bass TV Specials do not reveal any similarities that don't come from the fact that they're adapting the same books. This is an important point: Jackson is NOT trying to make some post-modern "collage" Hollywood film. He's only tipping his hat to those adaptations of Tolkien that he had seen growing up and that influenced him personally.1Due to copyright, the Rankin/Bass specials probably didn't air in New Zealand at all, and although it seems Jackson got a hold of the Rankin/Bass The Hobbit before embarking on The Lord of the Rings, he had not seen their Return of the King, certainly before 1999, and neither he nor his close collaborators have made comments about either of the two Specials. By contrast, the (American!) showrunners of The Rings of Power had referenced the Rankin/Bass Specials, and seemingly tipped their hat to it in a set design for season two.2 The Ralph Bakshi filmAs I said, Jackson went to see the Bakshi film. He had enjoyed some of Bakshi's previous film, including the Tolkien-esque Wizards, released the previous year, and went to see his latest. At the time he hadn't read the books, making Bakshi's film his first exposure to Tolkien, but he does admit he "heard the name" of the book beforehand. His biography suggests he saw it in late 1978, when it first premiered, but surely it would have arrived at New Zealand in early 1979.3The connection between the two films had been played up, unsurprisingly, by Ralph Bakshi himself. A leonine, grandiose man, Bakshi is anything but a reliable narrator. His own suggestion that he hadn't actually seen the films - only trailers, he claims - sounds believable enough and certainy understandable.4 But, then, if he didn't watch them, it makes his critique of them as deriviative of his films all the more dubious, even without actually looking at the specifics of what he said: Look at his Lothlorien. Look at my backgrounds of Lothlorien. Take a look! He had much more to see than I did, and if you don't think he lifted it over and over again, you're wrong. I mean, how did he design a knife in Lord of the Rings? How did he design a sword? How did he design the dwarf with his axe? How did he design the fur around him? Why did Peter Jackson put fur around the dwarf? Because I put fur around the dwarf! Why would the dwarf have fur naturally? You see, I could give you a billion little things. I wish I had a movie to look at.5These are truly some confused claims, for the most part. The most credible part here is the Hobbits hiding under the branch from the Ringwraiths, a shot composition later to also be replicated in season one of the Rings of Power, and which we'll get to later. Another claim of Bakshi's that cannot be dismissed out of hand is that, however big or small a debt Jackson owes to his film, he said that Jackson didn't publically acknowledge the influence and felt that it was only appropriate to have welcomed him to visit the set or something: by comparison, Jackson invited Rick Baker, who played King Kong in the 1978 version, to cameo in his King Kong.6 Jackson actually did mention the Bakshi filming in passing in the making-ofs. Then again, he entirely fails to mention the radio serial, either. Ultimately, Jackson possibly in cahoots with New Line Cinema, must have felt it unwise to point to a previous adaptation that had only achieved mixed success, at the outset of his own enterprise. He did talk more about the Bakshi film, and more fondly, in the director's commentary to The Fellowship of the Ring and in a couple of later interviews, which are significant gestures, but he clearly wasn't going to trumpet the influence Bakshi's film had on him off of every rooftop.7 In his 2006 biography, Jackson actually briefly reviews the Bakshi film: I liked the early part – it had some quaint sequences in Hobbiton, a creepy encounter with the Black Rider on the road, and a few quite good battle scenes – but then, about half way through, the storytelling became very disjointed and disorientating and I really didn’t understand what was going on. However, what it did do was to make me want to read the book – if only to find out what happened!8This is a complementary but admittedly mixed review, and Jackson had made similar comments since, calling it "brave and ambitious" but consistently decrying the hokum of the film's second half.9 Now, it is true that artists can be influenced by a work of art in spite of themselves, but lets see if we can try and quantify the influence. From the outset, in the audio commentary, Jackson remarks that "our film stylistically is very different and the design is different," which is apposite: Bakshi swore a debt to Howard Pyle, which certainly leaves its mark of the gorgeous natural bakcdrops, but a source closer at hand (especially considering his follow-up fantasy film, Fire and Ice) is the most popular fantasy illustrator of his day, Frank Frazetta: Bakshi's Witch King is practically ripped from Frazetta's famous "Dark Rider" illustration.10 Jackson's approach, however, was steeped in a kind of romantic realism that by and large eschewed the heightened work of Frazetta, opening a yawning stylistic gulf between his film and Bakshi's on a general level. Bakshi's Hobbit-holes have overhanging roofs that give the impression of fairies living under mushrooms (which they in fact had in his previous film, Wizards) and the interiors of Bag End are earthen, more of a rabbit-hole than Jackson's English countryside villa. There are some similarities, like the Hobbits having similarly-clipped pants, but its hard to say costume designer Ngilla Dickson had Bakshi in mind for that look. There's the basic structure of the narrative: both films leave some of the same plot beats out - Tom Bombadil, most notably - both intercut the Frodo and Aragorn storylines throughout (as per the appendices rather than the body of the text), and both open with a prologue. However, many of these are common-sense approaches that, if one were to put 100 screenwriters in a room, a good 90 of which would choose to pursue: in fact, Sir John Boorman's earlier Lord of the Rings script had likewise intercut the stories and redacted many of the same episodes as both Bakshi and Jackson, and similar approaches were taken in the 1958 Morton Zimmerman treatment. Certainly, in the case of the choice to pursue a prologue, a precedent closer at hand exists in the form in the 1981 radio serial, a point made all the stronger by the fact that when Jackson first concieved of and sketched the prologue, he hadn't seen Bakshi's film in 20 years.11 Bakshi did claim that New Line were screening his film repeatedly, but author Ian Nathan says that was never the case. Miramax did screen the film for Jackson in 1997, after he'd written the treatment. Jackson's treatment included Glorfindel and Erkenbrand, who in subsequent drafts are replaced by Arwen (Legolas in Bakshi's film) and Eomer, but still I find that it falls more into the realm of common-sense screenwriting decisions than anything that could be tied to Bakshi in a clear way, especially the latter which happens at the end of Bakshi film, a part of the film Jackson admits to have found incoherent.12 Rather, the place to look for similarities between the two projects is in the opening leg of The Fellowship of the Ring. Jackson actually, in the director's commentary, points out the shot of Odo Proudfoot calling "Proudfeet!" as a deliberate homage to Bakshi's shot, "which I thought was great." He doesn't acknowledge a couple - only a couple - of other shots that are quite similar: one is the evocative shot of the Ring tumbling over the rocks in Gollum's cave just before Bilbo finds it. Another still is an entire sequence of shots which misdirect us into thinking the Ringwraiths killed the Hobbits in their beds. Both are a little TOO similar to be waved away as coincidental.13 The Ringwraith shot is a more special case: It was nominally based off of a John Howe illustration, ostensibly of the Bakshi scene. But Jackson - who's quoted review of the Bakshi film mentions this scene - could hardly not notice the similarity to the Bakshi scene, especially since the scene doesn't at all play like this in the novel. What's more, the scene was first storyboared only shortly after Jackson say Bakshi's film for the second time, and shot not too long after that being that it was the first scene filmed. So its only fair to cite Bakshi as an influence on that shot.14 https://preview.redd.it/9mbqqm4zul0d1.png?width=550&format=png&auto=webp&s=a45cdd06543d70200e3eacf150f14d03d222203b There are other bits and pieces: did Jackson have Bakshi in mind when he added a scene of Saruman rallying up the Uruk-hai before the siege of Helm's Deep? Its hard to say. An even more elusive case is made by Bakshi: "I'm glad Peter Jackson had a movie to look at—I never did. And certainly there's a lot to learn from watching any movie, both its mistakes and when it works." In other words, Bakshi here suggests his film influenced Jackson in terms of what NOT to do. To his credit, Jackson does remember that the design process for Treebeard was in part motivated by trying to divorce him from the Bakshi version, which both him and Dame Fran Walsh remember as being "like a walking carrot." But when we start getting into that level, it all becomes very tenuous. There were a lot of things about the fantasy genre in general - Conan the Barbarian and Willow are oft-cited by Jackson - that he tried to avoid.15 Ultimately, I have to judge that the similarities between the two versions amount to a handful of rather insignificant beats, all in the first hour of Fellowship of the Ring. To hyperbolically play up the similarities between the two projects is to give in to Bakshi's hyperbolic rhetoric. Tolkien illustrationsJackson's first and, at the time, only copy of The Lord of the Rings was a tie-in to the Bakshi film. This would mean he hadn't gotten into the world of Tolkien illustrations until developing his own films, when he suggests he went on a detail-exhaustive search for Tolkien art. He had seen Tolkien's own illustrations, but decided that they're "not very helpful in terms of the lighting and the mood."16The most acclaimed illustrators of the previous era of Tolkien were Pauline Bayens (whose Minas Tirith is reproduced in the Rankin/Bass Return of the King) and the Brothers Hildebrandt, whose bestial Balrog presents a precursor both to Bakshi's but also to the Minotaur-like Balrog of John Howe.17 Howe was one of a trifecta of Tolkien illustrators, along with Ted Nasmith and Alan Lee, to enjoy great vogue at the time when Jackson was developing his films. Of the three, Lee is often deemed the most celebrated and certainly made the biggest impact on Jackson, whose next copy of the book was to be an Alan Lee illustrated edition. But he also noticed Howe through is work on Tolkien calendars, and later also purchased some originals of Ted Nasmith. All three were approached to participate in concept design for the films, although Nasmith sadly had to decline.18 In many places, Jackson precisely copied designs of Lee's and Howe's existing paintings, and in some places carbon copied their lighting and composition for shots, as well as grading the films (before the advent of the latest remaster) somewhat along the lines established in their paintings. But the majority of Lee and Howe's work for Jackson was in producing NEW concept art to his specifications, and so its wrong to look at Jackson's films as being a part of the Lee-Howe ouevure, as such. The 1981 Radio SerialA less touted influence on Jackson's film is the superlative 1981 BBC radio serial. Where Jackson hadn't reread the book nor revisited Bakshi's film between 1979 and 1997, he had spent much of the that time listening on-and-off to a tape of the radio serial, usually while working in his garage on special effects.19The most obvious similarity is the casting of Sir Ian Holm, who had voiced Frodo in the radio serial, as Bilbo. Holm was apparently at the top of Jackson's casting wishlist, partially for this reason. A particularly striking moment occurs when Holm's Frodo quotes Bilbo's "Its a dangerous business Frodo, going out your door: you step on to the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to", a line again given to Holm - now as Bilbo - in voiceover at the same spot in Jackson's film.20 Again, many of the similar structural choices here are similar to Jackson, adding a prologue, contracting the early stages of Frodo's quest and intercutting the Aragorn and Frodo's stories throughout. Brian Sibley admits to have modelled his prologue on Bakshi's own, but Jackson is unlikely to have known it at the time, and when we start thinking in terms of second-hand influences we're again into very tenuous territory. Otherwise, the influence doesn't seem all too great, although Sibley remembers that Walsh, perhaps half-jokingly, told him "we stole your ending" in the way that they did the Grey Havens and then a quick segue to Sam's return home, basically along the lines of the book.21 A young, and already Tolkien-devotee, Sir Ian Holm recording Bilbo Sibley had recruited his cast from the BBC's company of actors, which is also the troupe Bakshi turned to, meaning that Sibley ended-up with Bakshi's Boromir (Michael Graham Cox) and, notably, his Gollum (Peter Woodthorpe). In spite of Woodthorpe's evocative performance of Gollum's voice in both the Bakshi and Sibley versions, its influence on Andrew Serkis' performance of Gollum is nonexistent, as Serkis had developed the voice before having heard Woodthorpe rendition, having only read The Hobbit prior to being cast.22 Other fantasy filmsJackson had seen pretty much all the fantasy films of the 1980s, and while they were important in terms of establishing the genre, they hadn't left much of an impression on Jackson. The most succesful - George Lucas' Star Wars - was more space-fantasy, undoubtedly impressed Jackson but didn't much influence his films: to this day, he professes to not be a huge Star Wars fan, in spite of the amiacable manner he and Lucas took with each other in later years, and admits that he sees the influence of Lucas more "in what he did for the industry, not in terms of the actual films that he made."23The first major high-fantasy film, Sir John Boorman's Excalibur, was a little closer to Jackson's heart, but isn't much of an influence on his films either. Its true that Jackson's films feature a lot of plate armour, but that's indebted primarily to John Howe's abiding love of late Medieval armour, and at any rate is quite different to the Enlightement-era suits of armour one finds in Boorman's film. Willow, produced by George Lucas, was a big shot to the arm of New Zealand's fledgling film industry, and like Star Wars is much indebted to The Hobbit, but left a bad impression on Jackson.24 The Clockmaker's Cottage in Sir Ridley Scott's Legend Two exceptions are to be cited; Ray Harryhousen's stop-motion fantasy films from the 1950s were huge favourites of Jackson's, although their more Graeco-Roman subject matters were a genre apart from Jackson's films. He is also a big fan of Sir Ridley Scott, and while he joins the consensus of deriding William Hjortsberg notorious screenplay, had taken some cues from his Legend (1986): there's something of the Clockmaker's cottage in Rhosgobel, and Jackson referenced some of the features of Tim Curry's devilish "Lord of Darkness" for the Wargs sinewy faces.25 Other filmsJackson took influence from paintings of old battles and landscapes, but surely his biggest influences are other films: Zulu and Saving Private Ryan had been referenced for Helm's Deep, and there's a touch of Terrence Malick's The Thin Red Line, which Jackson had watched before principal photography, to the atmospheric shots that close the Fellowship prologue. Jackson admitted to rewatching mostly Scorsese films while shooting, and certainly the energy of his moving cameras find a closer kin in Scorsese's films than in anyone else's. There's something of David Lean's Lawrence of Arabia to Jackson's intention to make living, breathing people out of his fantasy characters.26Surely the inspiration for the shot of Aragorn arriving at Helm's Deep But there's one film that looms largest in Jackson's films, overshadowing any influence we're looked at so far: Mel Gibson's latest spectacular, Braveheart. Along with other films of this kind like Dances with Wolves and Rob Roy (Gladiator came too late to much influence Jackson's films) it is of crucial importance to the overall cinematic style of Jackson's films, having come out just as Jackson first started thinking of making an original fantasy film, and winning the academy award for Best Picture before any sustained work was done to develop The Lord of the Rings.27 Footnotes
ConclusionsAny notion that Jackson's films are derivative of previous Tolkien adaptations - namely, Bakshi's - are very much hyperbolic, and stem more from adopting an inflated rhetoric taken by the likes of Bakshi. As an adaptation, Jackson's works are based soley on Tolkien's books, and merely tip their hat occasionally to previous adaptations - and not all previous adaptations, either. Cinematically, they draw rather from other sources: less from other adaptations of Tolkien or other fantasy film (Tolkien-esque or not) and more from historical epics, both from the 1960s but also and especially from the time in which Jackson first started developing his films. |
2024.05.15 17:06 rawnfaldgregory Mehr?
I am a non-Jordanian who will be marrying a Jordanian. He and I have discussed mehr briefly, but I am having a hard time understanding what’s normal or what is involved in this. For example, does an engagement ring count as mehr? The costs of the wedding? My costs for the wedding (dress, etc)? How do people decide this? Can someone give a sense of what is average or typical for Jordanians?
submitted by rawnfaldgregory to jordan [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 17:00 socuteboss_ali Wedding Planning - How to Deal With Missing Family
So my partner (28) and I (31) recently got engayged!! Which has been super exciting. I love her so much; I love my ring. She makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. 10/10, so excited to marry her.
So we've been kinda talking about marriage things for a bit now and so now that we are engayged we've been discussing details more in earnest, even though it's still very early. We haven't hammered anything down yet but we're just starting to construct a vision together for what our wedding will look like. And I think our wants are aligned on a great many things.
There is one thing that's getting to me though (and I recognize this was inevitable): the fact that most of my family won't be there.
See, my fiancée's family is very queer positive, largely, and they are super supportive of her, me, and us. She has one deeply homophobic and transphobic grandmother who literally acts like I'm not there when we are around her (won't look at me, speak to me, respond to me speaking to her, etc), but aside from her, most everyone in my fiancée's family loves me and loves us.
With my family, I wasn't so lucky.
I'm a middle child between two brothers. I don't speak to my mother, as she is violent and abusive and dangerous. And my dad, stepmother, and older brother all disowned/don't speak to ME and haven't since seven years ago when I came out as trans. The night I came out to my parents is still burned into my mind. The absolute hatred and vitriol my dad threw at me that night is something I'll never forget.
I've grieved my lack of family a lot over the past several years. It comes in cycles. And obviously, it's not like I ever thought they'd come around by the time I got married. But now that I'm engaged and actually planning a wedding, it's hitting me pretty hard. Especially because I have to plan things around their absence.
For instance my fiancée is going to do a father-daughter dance with her dad, and I totally support that. She really wants that. She offered to have us not do that because she didn't want me to feel left out, but I insisted she do it if she wants it. It's her wedding day too and it would make me feel worse if she denied herself traditions or experiences she wants because of what my family did to me.
Thing is, I want that experience too. I also want someone to walk me down the aisle and give me away at the altar. I'm thinking of asking my younger brother, who I do still have a good relationship with, to do those things for me (is the idea of a brother-sister dance weird?) but I don't know how he'd feel about that. He was also in an accident about six months ago that severely broke both his feet. He's able to walk now and is in active physical therapy, but depending on how he heals, a dance might be a bit beyond the realm of possibility for him.
But also, beyond all that I'm just really sad. Sad 90% of the guest list will be my fiancée's family because I have very little family.
I don't know what I'm asking for here. Support? Ideas? Have you ever had to deal with lost family in wedding planning? How did you deal?
submitted by socuteboss_ali to actuallesbians [link] [comments]
So we've been kinda talking about marriage things for a bit now and so now that we are engayged we've been discussing details more in earnest, even though it's still very early. We haven't hammered anything down yet but we're just starting to construct a vision together for what our wedding will look like. And I think our wants are aligned on a great many things.
There is one thing that's getting to me though (and I recognize this was inevitable): the fact that most of my family won't be there.
See, my fiancée's family is very queer positive, largely, and they are super supportive of her, me, and us. She has one deeply homophobic and transphobic grandmother who literally acts like I'm not there when we are around her (won't look at me, speak to me, respond to me speaking to her, etc), but aside from her, most everyone in my fiancée's family loves me and loves us.
With my family, I wasn't so lucky.
I'm a middle child between two brothers. I don't speak to my mother, as she is violent and abusive and dangerous. And my dad, stepmother, and older brother all disowned/don't speak to ME and haven't since seven years ago when I came out as trans. The night I came out to my parents is still burned into my mind. The absolute hatred and vitriol my dad threw at me that night is something I'll never forget.
I've grieved my lack of family a lot over the past several years. It comes in cycles. And obviously, it's not like I ever thought they'd come around by the time I got married. But now that I'm engaged and actually planning a wedding, it's hitting me pretty hard. Especially because I have to plan things around their absence.
For instance my fiancée is going to do a father-daughter dance with her dad, and I totally support that. She really wants that. She offered to have us not do that because she didn't want me to feel left out, but I insisted she do it if she wants it. It's her wedding day too and it would make me feel worse if she denied herself traditions or experiences she wants because of what my family did to me.
Thing is, I want that experience too. I also want someone to walk me down the aisle and give me away at the altar. I'm thinking of asking my younger brother, who I do still have a good relationship with, to do those things for me (is the idea of a brother-sister dance weird?) but I don't know how he'd feel about that. He was also in an accident about six months ago that severely broke both his feet. He's able to walk now and is in active physical therapy, but depending on how he heals, a dance might be a bit beyond the realm of possibility for him.
But also, beyond all that I'm just really sad. Sad 90% of the guest list will be my fiancée's family because I have very little family.
I don't know what I'm asking for here. Support? Ideas? Have you ever had to deal with lost family in wedding planning? How did you deal?
2024.05.15 16:57 KingnBanter [Thank you] Another act that we are doing together. Enjoy!
Good Morning Everyone, Evening to some, afternoon to most.
We got home to lots of letters and my fiancee loved them all, and she's sitting next to me while we take the time to thank each and every one of you for taking the time to bring joy here in TN.
Thank you u/onebadjoke The Edible favours is a great idea, I'm going with twix, she's going with Riesen and for the both of us, Swedish Fish, gotten love hand fishing in a bag over waiting by the pond.
Thank you u/jemst0ne Amanda absolutely loves the post card, she's drawn to it immediately, and your card prompted a story. So, fun fact both of us proposed to each other to let each other know we were ready to be serious and jump into husband and wife roles, well the night that Amanda decided she wanted to make her jump, she received a fortunate cookie following a really nice meal at the casino, and the fortunate cookie said "Don't panic," lol, and nobody but her knew that that was. Second fun fact, mine that night said something about, "Don't miss the opportunity of the day, tomorrow it will be lost."
Thank you u/snerdboff We will definitely take funny pictures and thank you for the marriage licenses multiple copies, either of us thought of that, that's a great idea. Love that you had the largest card/envelope package. Love the sticker of the house as the envelope closer.
Thank you u/danigeek That's a great idea about the consignment store for the dresses. So far she has gone with her mom and sister to look at dresses. So far our idea for the colors of our wedding will be purple, blue, and silver. We have yet to try any cakes for the wedding, but my favorite is polish honey cake and her favorite is black forest (which no bakery seems to make anymore). Daisies are Amanda's favorite flower. Great card. Thank you.
Thank you, u/littlemermaidxx Thank you for the Love post card, it's nice, Amanda loves it, will take a pin to the love corner that we've got going. Thank you for the Congrats!
Thank you u/blacksmithequivalent You sent two cards :). Thank you so much. San Diego is such a beautiful area. We love that there is rarely a day below 60 degrees. The ring card is so pretty. Since she calls me her galaxy, I decided that blue sandstone would be a great pick for both her engagement and wedding ring. The actual stone looks like stars in a dark night sky. We also appreciate you saying that as long as we are happy together, no other opinions matter. True relationships are based on trust, great communication, and respect.
Thank you u/ez330 Absolutely beautiful card with the hearts as leaves in the tree. Congrats on your upcoming 12 year anniversary with your husband. I am sorry that you had those stressors during your wedding day. At this point, I feel that my fiancee and I are the least worried about things right now. That may not be a good thing when the time gets closer haha. Either way, as long as we are together and nothing drastic happens it'll be a great day for us as well. I am also a project manager so nothing can be as bad as some of the violent days at work lol.
Thank you, u/uknighinthesky Love the card. We are both very thankful to have several family members that are doing so much research for us and planning parts of the wedding. I think one of our main concerns is getting some family members from out of town to the wedding. The comic snips were very funny and a great touch to the card.
Thank you, u/uaepeyc. I absolutely adore this card. My mom is huge into mermaids and when I showed her this card, she went cray cray. You gave great advice saying that family research is helpful, but that in the end it is our day. Through all the planning, I think that our day will be as amazing as our relationship. She says that our relationship will be made with great memories for the next 55 years.
Thank you, u/ninajyang. The front of the card is so pretty. I wish you and your partner the best. We both have a similar budget in mind. We don't want to spend too much, but just enough to make things as memorable as possible. This will be both of our first and last marriages so we figure we would splurge just a little. Thank you for the cute stamps as well.
Thank you, u/mediocre_radish_7216 Thank you so much for the cute cared. I liked the skateboard with the word love on it. Since she has moved in, we have been enjoying every little moment together. Even domesticated, simple ones can be enjoyable together. As we are writing these, we are doing household chores. Last night we cooked dinner and had a glass of wine together. We both plan to flourish this relationship for the next 55 years.
Thank you, u/notsomini. Not going into debt for a single day is a great piece of advice. Thank you. We have been looking at wedding venues and seeing which one is the most cost effective, but yet flexible. A few places that we have looked at have been so strict with what is allowed in and what is not. One place that we checked out, no outside food was permitted. This place that we plan to check out tomorrow is not strict as we can bring in whatever food and other accommodations we choose. Thank you so much for the awesome stickers too.
Thank you, u/inkyfingerspgs Thank you so much for the card. Amanda loved it as the purple that was on the card is one of our wedding colors. We plan to continue making good memories from the wedding day and 55 years into the future.
Thank you, u/daeneryswon. The card is adorable. We both love it. The quote, "to a love that grows more beautiful every year," should be a goal for all couples. We hope that on our wedding day there is not too many hiccups, but both of us are pretty easy going that we will just continue on. We plan to make each other happy for the next 55 years.
Thank you so much u/keqani. All of the details that you put into your card is appreciated. Amanda adored the snips of paper that you included with your card. She said that those will be amazing to write little love notes to me to leave in my truck for me to discover. We both concur with you that we need to be there for each other no matter what. Loyalty in a relationship is very important. So far we have had great communication. Before we moved in together, we talked multiple times a day for at least 20 minutes or longer. We also promised each other that if anything is bothering either of us that we should just talk it out rather than holding it in. Amanda says that for the next 55 years we will be together through all the ups and downs that life can bring.
submitted by KingnBanter to RandomActsofCards [link] [comments]
We got home to lots of letters and my fiancee loved them all, and she's sitting next to me while we take the time to thank each and every one of you for taking the time to bring joy here in TN.
Thank you u/onebadjoke The Edible favours is a great idea, I'm going with twix, she's going with Riesen and for the both of us, Swedish Fish, gotten love hand fishing in a bag over waiting by the pond.
Thank you u/jemst0ne Amanda absolutely loves the post card, she's drawn to it immediately, and your card prompted a story. So, fun fact both of us proposed to each other to let each other know we were ready to be serious and jump into husband and wife roles, well the night that Amanda decided she wanted to make her jump, she received a fortunate cookie following a really nice meal at the casino, and the fortunate cookie said "Don't panic," lol, and nobody but her knew that that was. Second fun fact, mine that night said something about, "Don't miss the opportunity of the day, tomorrow it will be lost."
Thank you u/snerdboff We will definitely take funny pictures and thank you for the marriage licenses multiple copies, either of us thought of that, that's a great idea. Love that you had the largest card/envelope package. Love the sticker of the house as the envelope closer.
Thank you u/danigeek That's a great idea about the consignment store for the dresses. So far she has gone with her mom and sister to look at dresses. So far our idea for the colors of our wedding will be purple, blue, and silver. We have yet to try any cakes for the wedding, but my favorite is polish honey cake and her favorite is black forest (which no bakery seems to make anymore). Daisies are Amanda's favorite flower. Great card. Thank you.
Thank you, u/littlemermaidxx Thank you for the Love post card, it's nice, Amanda loves it, will take a pin to the love corner that we've got going. Thank you for the Congrats!
Thank you u/blacksmithequivalent You sent two cards :). Thank you so much. San Diego is such a beautiful area. We love that there is rarely a day below 60 degrees. The ring card is so pretty. Since she calls me her galaxy, I decided that blue sandstone would be a great pick for both her engagement and wedding ring. The actual stone looks like stars in a dark night sky. We also appreciate you saying that as long as we are happy together, no other opinions matter. True relationships are based on trust, great communication, and respect.
Thank you u/ez330 Absolutely beautiful card with the hearts as leaves in the tree. Congrats on your upcoming 12 year anniversary with your husband. I am sorry that you had those stressors during your wedding day. At this point, I feel that my fiancee and I are the least worried about things right now. That may not be a good thing when the time gets closer haha. Either way, as long as we are together and nothing drastic happens it'll be a great day for us as well. I am also a project manager so nothing can be as bad as some of the violent days at work lol.
Thank you, u/uknighinthesky Love the card. We are both very thankful to have several family members that are doing so much research for us and planning parts of the wedding. I think one of our main concerns is getting some family members from out of town to the wedding. The comic snips were very funny and a great touch to the card.
Thank you, u/uaepeyc. I absolutely adore this card. My mom is huge into mermaids and when I showed her this card, she went cray cray. You gave great advice saying that family research is helpful, but that in the end it is our day. Through all the planning, I think that our day will be as amazing as our relationship. She says that our relationship will be made with great memories for the next 55 years.
Thank you, u/ninajyang. The front of the card is so pretty. I wish you and your partner the best. We both have a similar budget in mind. We don't want to spend too much, but just enough to make things as memorable as possible. This will be both of our first and last marriages so we figure we would splurge just a little. Thank you for the cute stamps as well.
Thank you, u/mediocre_radish_7216 Thank you so much for the cute cared. I liked the skateboard with the word love on it. Since she has moved in, we have been enjoying every little moment together. Even domesticated, simple ones can be enjoyable together. As we are writing these, we are doing household chores. Last night we cooked dinner and had a glass of wine together. We both plan to flourish this relationship for the next 55 years.
Thank you, u/notsomini. Not going into debt for a single day is a great piece of advice. Thank you. We have been looking at wedding venues and seeing which one is the most cost effective, but yet flexible. A few places that we have looked at have been so strict with what is allowed in and what is not. One place that we checked out, no outside food was permitted. This place that we plan to check out tomorrow is not strict as we can bring in whatever food and other accommodations we choose. Thank you so much for the awesome stickers too.
Thank you, u/inkyfingerspgs Thank you so much for the card. Amanda loved it as the purple that was on the card is one of our wedding colors. We plan to continue making good memories from the wedding day and 55 years into the future.
Thank you, u/daeneryswon. The card is adorable. We both love it. The quote, "to a love that grows more beautiful every year," should be a goal for all couples. We hope that on our wedding day there is not too many hiccups, but both of us are pretty easy going that we will just continue on. We plan to make each other happy for the next 55 years.
Thank you so much u/keqani. All of the details that you put into your card is appreciated. Amanda adored the snips of paper that you included with your card. She said that those will be amazing to write little love notes to me to leave in my truck for me to discover. We both concur with you that we need to be there for each other no matter what. Loyalty in a relationship is very important. So far we have had great communication. Before we moved in together, we talked multiple times a day for at least 20 minutes or longer. We also promised each other that if anything is bothering either of us that we should just talk it out rather than holding it in. Amanda says that for the next 55 years we will be together through all the ups and downs that life can bring.
2024.05.15 16:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyYcancer zodiac
cancer zodiac dates
10 things about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac traits
cancer zodiac personality
cancer zodiac symbol
cancer zodiac month
cancer zodiac tattoo
cancer zodiac characteristics
cancer zodiac facts
cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac animal
cancer zodiac and capricorn
cancer zodiac art
cancer zodiac aesthetic
cancer zodiac air sign
cancer zodiac astrology
cancer zodiac attributes
cancer zodiac and scorpio
cancer zodiac and aries
cancer zodiac and aquarius
about cancer zodiac sign
all about cancer zodiac
are cancer zodiac dangerous
about cancer zodiac sign girl
age of cancer zodiac
attributes of cancer zodiac sign
after cancer zodiac
animal for cancer zodiac sign
anime characters cancer zodiac
aries and cancer zodiac sign compatibility
cancer zodiac birthday
cancer zodiac bad traits
cancer zodiac birthstone
cancer zodiac best match
cancer zodiac birth dates
cancer zodiac body part
cancer zodiac background
cancer zodiac bracelet
cancer zodiac best friends
cancer zodiac baby girl
best crystals for cancer zodiac
bad things about cancer zodiac
boy cancer zodiac
best match for cancer zodiac
birthday wishes for cancer zodiac
best color for cancer zodiac
best job for cancer zodiac
best stone for cancer zodiac
birthstone for cancer zodiac
bracelet for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac compatibility
cancer zodiac color
cancer zodiac celebrities
cancer zodiac constellation
cancer zodiac crystals
cancer zodiac color palette
cancer zodiac characteristics female
cancer zodiac compatibility chart
cancer zodiac chinese
cancer zodiac sign dates
cancer zodiac dates range
cancer zodiac description
cancer zodiac days
cancer zodiac demon
cancer zodiac drawing
cancer zodiac daily
cancer zodiac dates 2024
cancer zodiac dogs
cancer zodiac dark side
definition of cancer zodiac sign
dates for cancer zodiac sign
dark side of cancer zodiac signs
dragon cancer zodiac
different types of cancer zodiac
demon cancer zodiac
does cancer zodiac have anger issues
description of cancer zodiac sign
double cancer zodiac
diamond for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac element
cancer zodiac emoji
cancer zodiac enemies
cancer zodiac explained
cancer zodiac earrings
cancer zodiac energy
cancer zodiac ear piercing
cancer zodiac eyes
cancer zodiac español
cancer zodiac emotionally manipulative
everything about cancer zodiac
evolved cancer zodiac
element of cancer zodiac
evil cancer zodiac
enemy of cancer zodiac
emerald for cancer zodiac
easy cancer zodiac drawing
emotional cancer zodiac
explain cancer zodiac sign
everything you need to know about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac flower
cancer zodiac flower tattoo
cancer zodiac for today
cancer zodiac female
cancer zodiac favorite color
cancer zodiac famous people
cancer zodiac fire sign
cancer zodiac friends
cancer zodiac facts male
facts about cancer zodiac sign
facts about cancer zodiac woman
fun facts about cancer zodiac
famous cancer zodiac
flower for cancer zodiac
facts about cancer zodiac man
features of cancer zodiac sign
female cancer zodiac sign
friends of cancer zodiac
funny cancer zodiac quotes
cancer zodiac girl
cancer zodiac gemstone
cancer zodiac greek god
cancer zodiac god
cancer zodiac goddess
cancer zodiac gif
cancer zodiac gem
cancer zodiac good and bad traits
cancer zodiac good in bed
cancer zodiac gifts
good things about cancer zodiac
geek bar cancer zodiac flavor
gemstone for cancer zodiac
girl cancer zodiac
gifts for cancer zodiac man
gifts for cancer zodiac woman
gemstone for cancer zodiac sign
girly cancer zodiac tattoo
god of cancer zodiac
gem for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac horoscope today
cancer zodiac horoscope
cancer zodiac health problems
cancer zodiac horoscope 2024
cancer zodiac history
cancer zodiac house
cancer zodiac hand tattoo
cancer zodiac hair color
cancer zodiac hoodie
cancer zodiac humor
how rare is cancer zodiac sign
happy birthday cancer zodiac
how is cancer zodiac sign
how dangerous is cancer zodiac
how to be friends with a cancer zodiac
how will cancer zodiac die
how to deal with cancer zodiac sign
healing crystals for cancer zodiac
habits of cancer zodiac
herbs for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac in hindi
cancer zodiac in chinese
cancer zodiac images
cancer zodiac in telugu
cancer zodiac info
cancer zodiac in spanish
cancer zodiac is what month
cancer zodiac in relationships
cancer zodiac information
cancer zodiac in 2024
is cancer zodiac dangerous
interesting facts about cancer zodiac
is cancer zodiac rare
information about cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac rich or poor
instagram bio for cancer zodiac
images of cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac sign lucky
indian celebrities with cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac a water sign
cancer zodiac jewelry
cancer zodiac jobs
cancer zodiac july
cancer zodiac june
cancer zodiac january 2024
cancer zodiac june 21
cancer zodiac japanese
cancer zodiac july 22
cancer zodiac june 27
cancer zodiac july 16
july cancer zodiac
jobs for cancer zodiac
june cancer zodiac sign
july cancer zodiac traits
jewelry for cancer zodiac
june cancer zodiac personality
june cancer zodiac traits
june vs july cancer zodiac
july birthday cancer zodiac
jade for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac kids
cancer zodiac keywords
cancer zodiac keychain
cancer zodiac kpop idols
cancer zodiac killers
cancer zodiac karma
cancer zodiac know for
cancer zodiac keyboard symbol
cancer zodiac child
cancer zodiac knight
kpop idols cancer zodiac
kpop idols who have cancer zodiac sign
korean actors cancer zodiac
korean celebrities with cancer zodiac sign
katangian ng cancer zodiac
karaang napta cancer zodiac sign
karma cancer zodiac
what kind of person is cancer zodiac sign
things to know about cancer zodiac
everything to know about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac lucky numbers
cancer zodiac love
cancer zodiac logo
cancer zodiac love language
cancer zodiac lucky colors
cancer zodiac love compatibility
cancer zodiac libra
cancer zodiac lips
cancer zodiac least compatibility
cancer zodiac leo
lucky stone for cancer zodiac sign
logo cancer zodiac
leo and cancer zodiac sign
lucky color for cancer zodiac
lucky wallpaper for cancer zodiac
lucky number for cancer zodiac sign
lunar eclipse effect on cancer zodiac
libra and cancer zodiac sign compatibility
last day of cancer zodiac
love life of cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac meaning
cancer zodiac men
cancer zodiac memes
cancer zodiac match
cancer zodiac month dates
cancer zodiac moon sign
cancer zodiac moon
cancer zodiac meaning male
cancer zodiac meaning female
meaning of cancer zodiac sign
male cancer zodiac
meaningful cancer zodiac tattoo
more about cancer zodiac sign
month of cancer zodiac sign
moonstone for cancer zodiac
month of cancer zodiac
male cancer zodiac tattoo
match for cancer zodiac
mlbb cancer zodiac skin
cancer zodiac necklace
cancer zodiac negative traits
cancer zodiac number
cancer zodiac names
cancer zodiac nails
cancer zodiac nail designs
cancer zodiac nicknames
cancer zodiac necklace gold
cancer zodiac neck tattoo
cancer zodiac necklace silver
nicknames for cancer zodiac
names for cancer zodiac girl
nature of cancer zodiac sign
names for cancer zodiac boy
negatives of cancer zodiac
nature of cancer zodiac
number for cancer zodiac
nba players cancer zodiac
names related to cancer zodiac
next to cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac outfits
cancer zodiac origin
cancer zodiac opposite
cancer zodiac opposite sign
cancer zodiac overview
cancer zodiac of the day
cancer zodiac oc
cancer zodiac origin story
cancer zodiac occupations
cancer zodiac other names
opposite of cancer zodiac
one word to describe cancer zodiac
other names for cancer zodiac
outfits for cancer zodiac sign
opal for cancer zodiac
one piece cancer zodiac
october cancer zodiac
onyx for cancer zodiac
another word for cancer zodiac
ox cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac personality traits
cancer zodiac planet
cancer zodiac personality female
cancer zodiac personality male
cancer zodiac pictures
cancer zodiac powers
cancer zodiac pros and cons
cancer zodiac pendant
cancer zodiac power color
personality of cancer zodiac sign
picture of cancer zodiac sign
pros and cons of cancer zodiac
pictures of cancer zodiac sign girl
planet for cancer zodiac
pisces and cancer zodiac sign
power of cancer zodiac sign
pearl for cancer zodiac
peacock cancer zodiac
perfect match for cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac quotes
cancer zodiac qualities
cancer zodiac quotes funny
cancer zodiac quiz
cancer zodiac questions
cancer zodiac quote of the day
cancer zodiac quiet
cancer zodiac quiz buzzfeed
cancer zodiac quora
cancer zodiac queen
qualities of cancer zodiac sign
qualities of a cancer zodiac
quotes about cancer zodiac
questions to ask a cancer zodiac
quotes for cancer zodiac sign
quiet cancer zodiac
questions for cancer zodiac
questions to ask a cancer zodiac sign
quiz for cancer zodiac
quora cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac reading
cancer zodiac red flags
cancer zodiac reading today
cancer zodiac ruling planet
cancer zodiac rising sign
cancer zodiac relationship
cancer zodiac reddit
cancer zodiac ring
cancer zodiac range
cancer zodiac rappers
ring for cancer zodiac
ruby for cancer zodiac
rabbit cancer zodiac
red flag cancer zodiac
rappers that are cancer zodiac sign
real cancer zodiac facts
rat cancer zodiac
ruling planet of cancer zodiac sign
random facts about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac sign traits
cancer zodiac sign meaning
cancer zodiac sign month
cancer zodiac stone
cancer zodiac soulmate
cancer zodiac sign compatibility
cancer zodiac sign tattoo
sign of cancer zodiac
stones for cancer zodiac
symbol for cancer zodiac
stone for cancer zodiac sign
symbol of cancer zodiac sign
scary facts about cancer zodiac
serial killers with cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac tattoo ideas
cancer zodiac today
cancer zodiac tattoos for females
cancer zodiac traits female
cancer zodiac traits male
cancer zodiac tattoos for guys
cancer zodiac tarot card
cancer zodiac type
traits of cancer zodiac
things about cancer zodiac sign
tattoo cancer zodiac
types of cancer zodiac
tattoo ideas for cancer zodiac
the meaning of cancer zodiac sign
tattoo cancer zodiac sign
today cancer zodiac
today cancer zodiac sign
today's cancer zodiac horoscope
cancer zodiac urban dictionary
cancer zodiac usernames
cancer zodiac upset
cancer zodiac usa today
cancer zodiac usernames for instagram
cancer zodiac unlucky numbers
cancer zodiac unlucky color
cancer zodiac urdu
cancer zodiac unique facts
cancer zodiac unlucky
unique cancer zodiac tattoos
unique cancer zodiac tattoos for females
ugali ng cancer zodiac sign
understanding cancer zodiac
username for cancer zodiac
urban dictionary cancer zodiac sign
unhealthy cancer zodiac
usa today cancer zodiac
unknown facts about cancer zodiac
unlucky colour for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac virgo
cancer zodiac vape
cancer zodiac vibes
cancer zodiac videos
cancer zodiac vs scorpio
cancer zodiac vs leo
cancer zodiac venus
cancer zodiac vector
cancer zodiac vs gemini
cancer zodiac vindictive
virgo and cancer zodiac sign
vans cancer zodiac
virgo and cancer zodiac
villains cancer zodiac
vintage cancer zodiac
vintage cancer zodiac charm
venus in cancer zodiac
van cleef zodiac pendant cancer
cancer zodiac in vietnamese
cancer zodiac water sign
cancer zodiac weakness
cancer zodiac woman
cancer zodiac wallpaper
cancer zodiac what month
cancer zodiac water or fire
cancer zodiac worst match
cancer zodiac worst traits
cancer zodiac when mad
cancer zodiac wallpaper aesthetic
what is a cancer zodiac
what month is cancer zodiac sign
what month is cancer zodiac
what color is cancer zodiac
weakness of cancer zodiac
what are the traits of a cancer zodiac sign
what is the meaning of cancer zodiac sign
woman cancer zodiac
what is a cancer zodiac animal
what is good about cancer zodiac sign
cancer x zodiac
zodiac cancer x gemini
astrology cancer x capricorn
cancer zodiac letters
cancer x
cancer x cancer zodiac compatibility
cancer x cancer zodiac
zodiak taurus x cancer
what sign are cancer
x cancer
cancer zodiac year 2024
cancer zodiac yin yang
cancer zodiac year
cancer zodiac yin or yang
cancer zodiac yesterday
cancer zodiac year of dragon
what are cancer zodiac signs
year 2024 for cancer zodiac
yin yang cancer zodiac
year of the dragon for cancer zodiac sign
year of cancer zodiac
youtubers with cancer zodiac
year 2023 for cancer zodiac sign
year of the dragon for cancer zodiac
what year is cancer zodiac sign
what does it mean if you are a cancer zodiac
how to know if your a cancer zodiac sign
cancer astrology zone
cancer zodiac pisces zodiac
why are zodiac cancers so dangerous
cancer about zodiac
cancer zodiac in chinese zodiac
cancer zodiac zodiac
cancer sheep zodiac
zodiac cancer characteristics
zodiac cancer celebrities
zodiac cancer child
zodiac cancer chart
cancer horoscope 0800
cancer zodiac july 07
horoscope cancer 09 juin 2023
are cancers good for cancers
are cancers lucky
cancer sun 0 degrees
cancer 0 degrees
what are cancers sign
why are cancers called cancer
why is cancer called cancer zodiac
what represents cancer zodiac
0 degree cancer astrology
0 degree cancer
0 cancer
cancer zodiac 15 year cycle
cancer zodiac 10 things
cancer zodiac 10
cancer zodiac 18k
cancer zodiac 15th birthday
cancer 101 zodiac
zodiac cancer 16
cancer horoscope 19 march 2024
cancer horoscope 13 december 2023
cancer horoscope 11 march 2024
10 bad things about cancer zodiac
10 things about cancer zodiac male
10 things about cancer zodiac female
100 facts about cancer zodiac
10 facts about cancer zodiac
10 good things about cancer zodiac
10 interesting facts about cancer zodiac
10 facts about cancer zodiac sign
14k gold cancer zodiac necklace
cancer zodiac 2024
cancer zodiac 2024 prediction
cancer zodiac 2023
cancer zodiac 2025
cancer zodiac 2024 january
cancer zodiac 2024 career
cancer zodiac 2023 predictions
cancer zodiac 2024 in hindi
cancer zodiac 2024 march
cancer zodiac 2023 horoscope
2024 for cancer zodiac
2 types of cancer zodiac
2025 for cancer zodiac
20 facts about cancer zodiac
2026 for cancer zodiac
2023 for cancer zodiac
2023 cancer zodiac predictions
2024 prediction for cancer zodiac
2024 lucky color for cancer zodiac sign
2024 color of the year for cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac 3 stages
cancer zodiac 3 types
cancer zodiac 3 signs
cancer 3 zodiac
cancer horoscope 31 january 2024
cancer horoscope 30 march 2024
cancer horoscope 31 july 2023
cancer horoscope 30 march 2023
cancer horoscope 30 august 2023
cancer horoscope 30 november 2023
3 types of cancer zodiac
3 stages of cancer zodiac
3 words to describe cancer zodiac
3 facts about cancer zodiac
3 different types of cancer zodiac
3d cancer zodiac sign
3 fun facts about cancer zodiac
august 31 zodiac sign compatibility with cancer
cancer june 30 zodiac sign
cancer zodiac june 30
cancer horoscope 4 march 2024
cancer horoscope 4 april 2024
cancer horoscope 4 may 2023
cancer horoscope 4 january 2024
cancer horoscope 4 october 2023
cancer horoscope 4 april 2023
cancer horoscope 4 september 2023
cancer horoscope 4th december 2023
cancer horoscope 4 july 2023
cancer horoscope 4 june 2023
4 types of cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac wallpaper 4k
cancer zodiac july 4
zodiac sign of cancer 4 letters
what do cancer zodiac sign mean
cancer zodiac rules
4 cancers
zodiac cancer types
cancer horoscope 5 march 2024
cancer horoscope 5 april 2024
cancer horoscope 5 october 2023
cancer horoscope 5 april 2023
cancer horoscope 5 june 2023
cancer horoscope 5 july 2023
cancer horoscope 5 january 2024
cancer horoscope 5 may 2023
cancer horoscope 5 february 2024
cancer horoscope 5 december 2023
5 facts about cancer zodiac
50 cent is a cancer zodiac
50 cent zodiac sign cancer
cancer 5th house zodiac
cancer zodiac sign july 5
cancer zodiac july 5
june 5 zodiac sign cancer
5 cancers
cancer zodiac 69
cancer zodiac 69 tattoo
cancer zodiac 69 meaning
cancer horoscope 6 march 2024
cancer horoscope 6 july 2023
cancer horoscope 6 april 2023
cancer horoscope 6 december 2023
cancer horoscope 6 october 2023
cancer horoscope 6 june 2023
cancer horoscope 6 september 2023
69 cancer zodiac
meaning of cancer zodiac sign 69
cancer zodiac july 6
what does the 69 mean for cancer
cancer born on july 6
cancer big 6 astrology
69 cancer sign
6 cancer causing foods
cancer horoscope 7 march 2024
cancer horoscope 7 may 2023
cancer horoscope 7 september 2023
cancer horoscope 7 july 2023
cancer horoscope 7 june 2023
cancer horoscope 7th may 2023
cancer horoscope 7 november 2023
cancer horoscope 7 august 2023
cancer horoscope 7 april 2023
cancer horoscope 7 february 2024
cancer zodiac july 7
cancer horoscope 8 march 2024
cancer horoscope 8 january 2024
cancer horoscope 8 may 2023
cancer horoscope 8 september 2023
cancer horoscope 8 june 2023
cancer horoscope 8 april 2023
cancer horoscope 8 august 2023
cancer horoscope 8 december 2023
cancer horoscope 8 november 2023
cancer horoscope 8th march 2024
july 8th cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac july 8
signo zodiacal cancer julio 8
what flower represents cancer zodiac
why cancer is dangerous zodiac
what gifts do cancers like
cancer 8h
cancer horoscope 9 june 2023
cancer horoscope 9 may 2023
cancer horoscope 9 march 2024
cancer horoscope 9 january 2024
cancer horoscope 9 april 2023
cancer horoscope 9 october 2023
cancer horoscope 9 september 2023
cancer horoscope 9 november 2023
cancer horoscope 9 august 2023
cancer horoscope 9th april 2023
9 cancer zodiac sign
july 9 zodiac sign cancer
cancer zodiac july 9
what do cancer look like zodiac
what does cancer hate zodiac
9 cancer symptoms
what cancer zodiac sign
what cancer zodiac sign means
2024.05.15 16:52 LaReinaDeLaImprenta How can I (30F) get my husband (30M) to self reflect and to be dedicated to me instead of his parents?
Hello friends of reddit. My husband (30M) and I (30F) have been married for 6 months and it is not going as expected. In the beginning, he made it clear that due to his religious beliefs that he did not to have sex before marriage. I agreed as I had horrible judgement in men and was not looking to get taken for another ride again.
Background on him: He comes from an extremely religious family (Baptist). Worked his own business with the family since he graduated high school. He has also lived with his parents and has never lived on his own other than a year in his parents other home before his accident (he fell 27ft and had to relearn to walk). No drinking no smoking, only spend time with family and outdoor activities. Background on me: While I come from an abusive traumatic family I am currently 5 years therapy strong working on myself as it is my responsibility not my partners. I went to college and lived on my own until covid lay offs and I had to move back home with my father, which wasnt ideal. I work full time and have my own business; I am very motivated.
As time progressed he changed his mind and we ended up sleeping together. I asked for us to move in together for a lil while before we got married. My parents (divorced) were not okay with that but I did not care. He told me that we would need to sit down and discuss the idea of moving in together with his parents. I said; "Why would we need to ask permission we are 30?" and he said that we would have to in order to save face. I said "I am not comfortable with discussing this with your family as it is not their business." He said we were not to move in together until we do. I told him if he forced me to meet with his parents then I was going to tell his mother that we have already had sex so there was no reason not to move in together. He never set up the meeting. We never moved in together. He is very close to his parents in my opinion to the point it is unhealthy. I watch as his dad undermines, belittles, and ignores his mother with a smile and charming laugh on his face until she is in complete submission. She admitted to me that while she was clipping coupons for the family, he was out spending all the money on machines / equipment that they did not need. She has cried to me in front of my husband about how she still needs to voice her opinion even though it is never listen to or goes the way she suggests. That was a red flag to me.
My now husband of mine and I started to plan out life together. He told me that he owns his own business and has 60 acres of property and wanted to build a life there. He promised me that we were going to work together and build a home that we can make a guest house and eventually build a bigger home. He wants it to be similar to a Lowcountry plantation. I was all for it, finally excited that I had someone I could create a life with that we both wanted and deserved.
That is when things turned. He started to move forward on building a home for us without a permit nor engineer drawings. Before he started, I told him that made me very uncomfortable and I need security to know this home is done correctly since he will be out of town a lot and I will be left alone in a town I know no one. That made him insulted and said this is how his father and family did their home and he just moved forward on building it himself. I begged, cried, and pleaded with him to please let's get the water and septic out there first and work on a budget of plans / permits to break ground. That I was not comfortable living that way, my father was a GC and taught me a lot of what needs to be done for a home to be an asset. He waved me off, told me that my father was just a carpenter. I cried for months over it and almost moved the wedding back a year. His father was behind the scenes telling him and motivating him to continue to do whatever he wanted to do regardless of how I felt. He finally heard me after I threaten to postpone the wedding and stopped construction and told me he would get a permit on the home and drawings before he did anything else.
The closer the wedding got, the difficult it became. I gave him my pay stubs, W2, and showed my assets to him up front. I showed all of my cards and asked to see his in return. He said he would and he never did. When I asked him more than once he would get annoyed with me. I started to get suspicious. I felt as if he was hiding something. So I did my own investigation. It turns out that his father and him own the property together in a way that if one passes the other gets it and he only owns 20% of the business he claimed was his. I was stunned. Everything he told me was half truths. I brought it to his attention many times and he acted like he told me already. I told him I knew the truth and he said it wasn't a big deal and I am making something out of it that it isnt. If his father had more respect for his wife and for women, I would not be this concerned. His father throws trash on the ground and ignores rules and regulations while having a problem with authority at his own home. Now everything he doesnt want at his house is being thrown over to my husband's property (which is his too and he has a right to do what he wants). Being in that type of chaotic environment along with the sense of having someone stomp on my boundaries for me would be extremely triggering and something that I will not be able to do. He is already throwing trash and leaving debris and junk all over the property. I communicated my feelings and got met with resentment, anger, and denial from my husband. He told me that it was not going to be that way. He also called me controlling bc instead of spending 25,000 on permits / our home, he spend it on a brand new truck (he has two other trucks). I was so upset and said how could he spend that much money on a toy when he hasn't even provided a home for our family. He was texting his dad about the truck behind my back and he was motivated to do whatever he wanted to do regardless of what I thought bc I am "controlling".
I told him from day one that I am a career woman, that I am not going to be solely responsible for the household and I am not his mother and I will not pick up after him. I expect things to be 50/50 in finances and in house work until we figure out what works best for us. He said he agreed and was very happy with that. I then told him in order for me to feel comfortable moving out to his 60 acres of land, that it would need to be solely in his name and he would need to get a permit and engineer drawings. He told me as soon as we were married that he would move forward with that.
With all these red flags, I continued to move forward with the wedding as he promised me the world. He kept dragging his feet on the home construction and it was failing to be completed before our wedding. His dad was telling him to take his time it is not that big of a deal. 4 months before our wedding, his family and him expected me to live in an unpermited non CO having shed like house, with no power, water, septic, nor appliances, an empty shell, no sheetrock (his father made his mother live like that). In complete distress I begged my father to do a lease to own with one of his rental properties for me so that my husband and I would have a place to live after we got married since the home was in no condition to live in. My father begrudgingly agreed and then told me to not Marry him. I did always. My family ended up ruining the wedding for me and causing our special day to not be as special.
Fast forward a few months when it was time for us to pay our lease to own payment. He was late every month, got angry at me for asking for his part of the money, I asked him to help with the chores and he would get annoyed with me, he has not mowed the grass once (my father and I have). I can count on my hand the times hes raked the yard and done dishes. He makes double the amount of money I made but I am writing the checks for the bills. I am just asking for his portion and he told me that I am treating him like a roommate not like a husband / wife. I asked him to explain and he couldn't. I finally got fed up and told me to give me 4 checks signed so when he is out of town for work and I need to pay the bills I can. He handed me the checks and they had him and HIS MOTHER on the account. Admitted, I lost my cool. I was overwhelmed with the amount of involvement his parents had in his assets and life. He has made me feel like he has lied to me. I told him as long as my boundaries are disrespected and I have no say in our home and our life that I do not want anything to do with their property. He would get mad and say it was his and id remind him, no it is not. It belongs to him and his father. He said it is his home and he is going to build it the way he wanted.
A few weeks after that argument he completely distant himself from me. He was out till 8pm every night for weeks and I kept asking him where he was. All he said was "working". A few weeks later, I finally go out to the property to see a full blown house. Behind my back he was working on that home putting roofing, plumbing, tile, siding, everything! He told me we were going to work on this together. I was so upset, everything is half ass done. He let me pick out nothing. I called him on it and he denied it. Come to find out him and his father had been working on it behind my back. While I was struggling to pay our bills he was using his money to continue on building on the home without drawings, permits, engineering, nothing. He couldn't give me money for our house hold bills, but he could spend thousands and thousands on something he promised me he was not going to do. Then he proceeded to tell me what "we" were going to give his father a $2,000.00 fish finder for a present. I told him is he out of his mind we can not afford that (mind you he gave me nothing for my birthday though he did bake me a cake and it was sweet). I said you are going to spend that much money on a gift and you didnt even get your wife anything for her birthday? he said "you got an engagement ring, that was expensive enough" I said "so bc you gave me an engagement ring, that means you do not have to purchase anything else for me as a gift?" he just waved me away. I said you never discussed this transaction with me and you are saying "we" are getting it. He said "well when I said 'we' I meant me and my mother."
I just stared at him. He considers WE as him and his parents. Finally got him into marriage counseling and it does not seem to be helping. He has missed 4 sessions already bc he chose work over me. He is pulling away from me completely, no affection, no sex (I did not know he had an issue brushing his teeth so now I cringe in fear of getting dumpster breath anytime we are intimate). This was NOT like this during our dating time.
I feel like I am drowning and I have made a HUGE mistake. Typing this out makes me feel guilty for telling the truth and maybe I am being controlling and overbearing like his parents are saying? This is why I am coming to you people of reddit.
I feel like I am in a polyamorous relationship. I feel like I have escaped the control of my family only to end up in a place where I am controlled by another man that I am not even MARRIED TO. I feel like I am a ship with two anchors that are my parents, when I got married I thought he was going to help captain my ship, not be another anchor on my vessel to weigh me down. All my friends have noticed that I have changed and I am not my normal self.
How can I get my husband self reflect on how he is treating me and be dedicated to me and not his parents?
Am I out of line? is this weird? Am I expecting too much?
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post. I love my husband very much but I am stuck.
submitted by LaReinaDeLaImprenta to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Background on him: He comes from an extremely religious family (Baptist). Worked his own business with the family since he graduated high school. He has also lived with his parents and has never lived on his own other than a year in his parents other home before his accident (he fell 27ft and had to relearn to walk). No drinking no smoking, only spend time with family and outdoor activities. Background on me: While I come from an abusive traumatic family I am currently 5 years therapy strong working on myself as it is my responsibility not my partners. I went to college and lived on my own until covid lay offs and I had to move back home with my father, which wasnt ideal. I work full time and have my own business; I am very motivated.
As time progressed he changed his mind and we ended up sleeping together. I asked for us to move in together for a lil while before we got married. My parents (divorced) were not okay with that but I did not care. He told me that we would need to sit down and discuss the idea of moving in together with his parents. I said; "Why would we need to ask permission we are 30?" and he said that we would have to in order to save face. I said "I am not comfortable with discussing this with your family as it is not their business." He said we were not to move in together until we do. I told him if he forced me to meet with his parents then I was going to tell his mother that we have already had sex so there was no reason not to move in together. He never set up the meeting. We never moved in together. He is very close to his parents in my opinion to the point it is unhealthy. I watch as his dad undermines, belittles, and ignores his mother with a smile and charming laugh on his face until she is in complete submission. She admitted to me that while she was clipping coupons for the family, he was out spending all the money on machines / equipment that they did not need. She has cried to me in front of my husband about how she still needs to voice her opinion even though it is never listen to or goes the way she suggests. That was a red flag to me.
My now husband of mine and I started to plan out life together. He told me that he owns his own business and has 60 acres of property and wanted to build a life there. He promised me that we were going to work together and build a home that we can make a guest house and eventually build a bigger home. He wants it to be similar to a Lowcountry plantation. I was all for it, finally excited that I had someone I could create a life with that we both wanted and deserved.
That is when things turned. He started to move forward on building a home for us without a permit nor engineer drawings. Before he started, I told him that made me very uncomfortable and I need security to know this home is done correctly since he will be out of town a lot and I will be left alone in a town I know no one. That made him insulted and said this is how his father and family did their home and he just moved forward on building it himself. I begged, cried, and pleaded with him to please let's get the water and septic out there first and work on a budget of plans / permits to break ground. That I was not comfortable living that way, my father was a GC and taught me a lot of what needs to be done for a home to be an asset. He waved me off, told me that my father was just a carpenter. I cried for months over it and almost moved the wedding back a year. His father was behind the scenes telling him and motivating him to continue to do whatever he wanted to do regardless of how I felt. He finally heard me after I threaten to postpone the wedding and stopped construction and told me he would get a permit on the home and drawings before he did anything else.
The closer the wedding got, the difficult it became. I gave him my pay stubs, W2, and showed my assets to him up front. I showed all of my cards and asked to see his in return. He said he would and he never did. When I asked him more than once he would get annoyed with me. I started to get suspicious. I felt as if he was hiding something. So I did my own investigation. It turns out that his father and him own the property together in a way that if one passes the other gets it and he only owns 20% of the business he claimed was his. I was stunned. Everything he told me was half truths. I brought it to his attention many times and he acted like he told me already. I told him I knew the truth and he said it wasn't a big deal and I am making something out of it that it isnt. If his father had more respect for his wife and for women, I would not be this concerned. His father throws trash on the ground and ignores rules and regulations while having a problem with authority at his own home. Now everything he doesnt want at his house is being thrown over to my husband's property (which is his too and he has a right to do what he wants). Being in that type of chaotic environment along with the sense of having someone stomp on my boundaries for me would be extremely triggering and something that I will not be able to do. He is already throwing trash and leaving debris and junk all over the property. I communicated my feelings and got met with resentment, anger, and denial from my husband. He told me that it was not going to be that way. He also called me controlling bc instead of spending 25,000 on permits / our home, he spend it on a brand new truck (he has two other trucks). I was so upset and said how could he spend that much money on a toy when he hasn't even provided a home for our family. He was texting his dad about the truck behind my back and he was motivated to do whatever he wanted to do regardless of what I thought bc I am "controlling".
I told him from day one that I am a career woman, that I am not going to be solely responsible for the household and I am not his mother and I will not pick up after him. I expect things to be 50/50 in finances and in house work until we figure out what works best for us. He said he agreed and was very happy with that. I then told him in order for me to feel comfortable moving out to his 60 acres of land, that it would need to be solely in his name and he would need to get a permit and engineer drawings. He told me as soon as we were married that he would move forward with that.
With all these red flags, I continued to move forward with the wedding as he promised me the world. He kept dragging his feet on the home construction and it was failing to be completed before our wedding. His dad was telling him to take his time it is not that big of a deal. 4 months before our wedding, his family and him expected me to live in an unpermited non CO having shed like house, with no power, water, septic, nor appliances, an empty shell, no sheetrock (his father made his mother live like that). In complete distress I begged my father to do a lease to own with one of his rental properties for me so that my husband and I would have a place to live after we got married since the home was in no condition to live in. My father begrudgingly agreed and then told me to not Marry him. I did always. My family ended up ruining the wedding for me and causing our special day to not be as special.
Fast forward a few months when it was time for us to pay our lease to own payment. He was late every month, got angry at me for asking for his part of the money, I asked him to help with the chores and he would get annoyed with me, he has not mowed the grass once (my father and I have). I can count on my hand the times hes raked the yard and done dishes. He makes double the amount of money I made but I am writing the checks for the bills. I am just asking for his portion and he told me that I am treating him like a roommate not like a husband / wife. I asked him to explain and he couldn't. I finally got fed up and told me to give me 4 checks signed so when he is out of town for work and I need to pay the bills I can. He handed me the checks and they had him and HIS MOTHER on the account. Admitted, I lost my cool. I was overwhelmed with the amount of involvement his parents had in his assets and life. He has made me feel like he has lied to me. I told him as long as my boundaries are disrespected and I have no say in our home and our life that I do not want anything to do with their property. He would get mad and say it was his and id remind him, no it is not. It belongs to him and his father. He said it is his home and he is going to build it the way he wanted.
A few weeks after that argument he completely distant himself from me. He was out till 8pm every night for weeks and I kept asking him where he was. All he said was "working". A few weeks later, I finally go out to the property to see a full blown house. Behind my back he was working on that home putting roofing, plumbing, tile, siding, everything! He told me we were going to work on this together. I was so upset, everything is half ass done. He let me pick out nothing. I called him on it and he denied it. Come to find out him and his father had been working on it behind my back. While I was struggling to pay our bills he was using his money to continue on building on the home without drawings, permits, engineering, nothing. He couldn't give me money for our house hold bills, but he could spend thousands and thousands on something he promised me he was not going to do. Then he proceeded to tell me what "we" were going to give his father a $2,000.00 fish finder for a present. I told him is he out of his mind we can not afford that (mind you he gave me nothing for my birthday though he did bake me a cake and it was sweet). I said you are going to spend that much money on a gift and you didnt even get your wife anything for her birthday? he said "you got an engagement ring, that was expensive enough" I said "so bc you gave me an engagement ring, that means you do not have to purchase anything else for me as a gift?" he just waved me away. I said you never discussed this transaction with me and you are saying "we" are getting it. He said "well when I said 'we' I meant me and my mother."
I just stared at him. He considers WE as him and his parents. Finally got him into marriage counseling and it does not seem to be helping. He has missed 4 sessions already bc he chose work over me. He is pulling away from me completely, no affection, no sex (I did not know he had an issue brushing his teeth so now I cringe in fear of getting dumpster breath anytime we are intimate). This was NOT like this during our dating time.
I feel like I am drowning and I have made a HUGE mistake. Typing this out makes me feel guilty for telling the truth and maybe I am being controlling and overbearing like his parents are saying? This is why I am coming to you people of reddit.
I feel like I am in a polyamorous relationship. I feel like I have escaped the control of my family only to end up in a place where I am controlled by another man that I am not even MARRIED TO. I feel like I am a ship with two anchors that are my parents, when I got married I thought he was going to help captain my ship, not be another anchor on my vessel to weigh me down. All my friends have noticed that I have changed and I am not my normal self.
How can I get my husband self reflect on how he is treating me and be dedicated to me and not his parents?
Am I out of line? is this weird? Am I expecting too much?
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post. I love my husband very much but I am stuck.
2024.05.15 16:42 Kindness_rox Need help with love and communication spell
Long post alert: I matched with someone on a dating app last month who is from another country but lives in mine currently for 3-4 years. He knows about my culture very well. We have a lot of things in common. We both are in our 30s. His work is soccer related and I'm a huge fan of the sport. Both of us love gaming. Both of us have a lot of similar interests and are sapiosexuals. He lives in another city and comes to mine sometimes. We spoke for a month before I decided to visit him. I intuitively felt it was safe to stay with him and that he's a good man. This weekend, I went there and we had an amazing time. We both are shy people but together it felt like we knew each other for years. We couldn't keep our hands off each other the evening we met. Sx was great and he appreciated me the way I was, flaws and everything. We cuddled, kissed, talked about life, work, did and said silly things and what not. I could be myself with him. I felt extremely safe with him. The way he looked at me and smiled, especially when I was in his arms, was magical. I definitely saw something for me in his eyes. 50-51 hours felt like everything was perfect. On my last day there, we cuddled and watched a documentary before dinner that I had cooked for him (I hate cooking) and he liked it too. He can't eat spicy so I made it less spicy. We were having dinner and talking about the spicy things he doesn't like to eat in my country. One of them is my absolute favourite thing so I just said it depends where you eat it because I make it less spicy at home. Suddenly, he started getting annoyed, raised his voice and said things like I am not even trying to look through his perspective and when I tried to defend myself, he asked me to stop interrupting him all the time (could be because I was leaving and he was feeling something. I don't know). I controlled my tears as I was getting angry and finished my dinner silently. He ordered ice cream for us but after that I went completely silent. I picked up plates, cleaned up everything, packed my bags as I was leaving early next day and went in the balcony to calm myself down. I went to his room to get something I had left there and he asked 'everything okay honey?' and I just replied hmm and left. We didn't talk after that because he fell asleep while I was trying to calm down. None of us ate the ice cream. Later I went to his room, turned off his TV, hugged him and slept besides him. He held my hand and slept. Next morning he had to leave for work too so we were going to leave together. We didn't speak a word except when he asked if I'd have coffee. We didn't hug or kiss like we did on other mornings. When we left and went downstairs, his cab was there and then we hugged. He only asked me to let him know when I get in the bus. When I got in the bus, I messaged him 'In the bus. Thanks for everything'. He replied 'Take care 😘' I reminded him a few things like to eat the leftover dinner, use up things I had opened to make it, etc. And then I apologised for not talking to him that night and explained that I didn't want to hurt him because I'd have said terrible things if I had opened my mouth. He replied 'No problem *****' 'It was nice to see you' I replied same here. Then he said 'Take care of yourself ☺️☺️' after which I asked him if we'd meet again because the way we left things didn't feel right and also thanked him for making me the happiest I was in years. He just replied 'Let's see how things are going'. It is also important to mention that he's moving to another country soon in June or July (doesn't know where yet) but now he knows I can move too. I didn't reply after that because I didn't know what to say. No honey, baby or anything. I cried the entire way home. He just liked my cat's picture I uploaded on Instagram story after I reached home because he knew I was missing her. There hasn't been any communication after that (yesterday) although he had mentioned before that it's a busy week for him. I can't stop thinking about him, his face, his eyes, his smell and his smile. And another weird thing: he has these muscle jerks in his sleep and now I have them too somehow. My brother told me this.
Now that you know what is happening, I need something to fix our relationship. I really thought it could be a long-term thing for us because we were perfect together. I'm ready to move wherever he's going as my work is flexible. Things suddenly became weird after that dinner. I tried to communicate yesterday but after those replies, he felt disconnected. I want us to work but I want him to approach because I've done my part. I just know it wasn't just a hookup for us because none of us are into it. His birthday is this week and I wanted to send something handmade (which he really needs in his house) and write a letter to him. Is that a good idea? I'm relatively a baby witch and started 4 months ago. Is there a specific spell or something that would help me? At the moment, I only have some crystals, a small altar for aphrodite, coloured candles, bayleaves and some other spices. Any help and advice is appreciated.
Thank you for reading!
submitted by Kindness_rox to Spells [link] [comments]
Now that you know what is happening, I need something to fix our relationship. I really thought it could be a long-term thing for us because we were perfect together. I'm ready to move wherever he's going as my work is flexible. Things suddenly became weird after that dinner. I tried to communicate yesterday but after those replies, he felt disconnected. I want us to work but I want him to approach because I've done my part. I just know it wasn't just a hookup for us because none of us are into it. His birthday is this week and I wanted to send something handmade (which he really needs in his house) and write a letter to him. Is that a good idea? I'm relatively a baby witch and started 4 months ago. Is there a specific spell or something that would help me? At the moment, I only have some crystals, a small altar for aphrodite, coloured candles, bayleaves and some other spices. Any help and advice is appreciated.
Thank you for reading!
2024.05.15 16:31 colinmacray [EU-NL] [H] GMK Tuzi + Novelties, Dualshot 2 Kat. Metropolis, KAT Space Dust, Bongoneko (MTD) [W] Paypal, or local
Timestamp
Hi! Selling a bunch of stuff I can't really keep around while I'm not using it.
Prices are excl shipping, incl G&S fees.
Bongoneko with light scratches from regular use: Private gb bakeneko style board from the german keyboard discord Currently built with lubed Gateron ks3 blacks, alu plate and a waffling 60 pcb 2 hardnesses of o-rings. Extra waffling 60 pcb & nicepbt sugarplum (as pictured, without artisan) Keygem case and extra POM half plate with slight humidity warping
Note: Current pcb has broken "+" key due to burnt pad, can be fixed or replaced by someone willing to solder a wire.
Please comment before PM and don't use the chat function, thanks!
submitted by colinmacray to mechmarket [link] [comments]
Hi! Selling a bunch of stuff I can't really keep around while I'm not using it.
Prices are excl shipping, incl G&S fees.
| Item | State | Price (EUR) + Shipping |
|---|---|---|
| GMK Tuzi + Novelties | Opened, unused (no nov. box) | 95 |
| GMK Dualshot 2 katakana | Opened, used for few weeks | 85 |
| GMK Metropolis Midnight | Opened, used for few weeks | 85 |
| KAT Space Dust | BNIB, see timestamp for kitting | 140 |
| Bongoneko smokey PC (MTD) | Used, semi-functional | 180 |
Note: Current pcb has broken "+" key due to burnt pad, can be fixed or replaced by someone willing to solder a wire.
Please comment before PM and don't use the chat function, thanks!
2024.05.15 16:28 CommunityBasic4575 What happens now?
I don't even know what to do anymore. Been married 4 years, together 7....we have 2 kids. Our PA issues go way back but I'm finally at my last straw. I don't even care anymore. I'm numb, I've mentally checked out.....he knows it too but he's been love bombing me for the past month since I officially told him I was done and started sleeping in the other room. Yet he hasn't even bothered to look into therapy or SA support groups.
What do I do? Where do I go from here? I honestly told him I was going to start dating and move on...I just took my wedding ring off, he seems to think because I was still wearing it that it meant something..
submitted by CommunityBasic4575 to loveafterporn [link] [comments]
What do I do? Where do I go from here? I honestly told him I was going to start dating and move on...I just took my wedding ring off, he seems to think because I was still wearing it that it meant something..
2024.05.15 16:19 Effective-Market-304 AITA if I uninvited my dad to my wedding?
Long time lurker, first time poster.
Sorry this may be a long one. First a little backstory. Names and locations will be changed to maintain anonymity.
I (35F) grew up in a blended family. My parents got divorced when I was 10 and my dad remarried when I was 11. In addition to my younger sister (33F) from his previous marriage to my mom, I gained a step brother (27 M) and later a half brother, Ben(22 M). My sister and I spent every other weekend and summers at his house and the four siblings grew really close. We’re all each other’s best friends. I get a long okay with my step mom (let’s call her Anna). As we got older my dad became less involved and sometimes distant and basically let her raise the boys how she saw fit. With a lack of rules at home and few opportunities to make mistakes to learn and grow into adults. They are in their 20s but they are very infantilized. The younger one is not even allowed to change his hairstyle without permission or go on out of state trips by himself. It’s really weird but I moved abroad a decade ago and everyone back home just allows it.
Now on to the story at hand:
I live in an Asian country and a few years ago I met the love of my life and after meeting my family back home decided to get married. We had planned on doing just a courthouse thing because we were both not very big on something traditional, but we got swept up in the excitement knowing that my Dad and Sister would come if we decided to do a proper wedding.
In this country, wedding planning tends to go pretty fast as everything is usually done by one company. We gave our out of town friends and family a heads up in February that we’d have a ceremony in the fall and that we will set headcount no later than late Spring.
My step mom anointed herself the wedding planner as she’s passionate about it. She also cannot make the trip due to a disability which makes it hard for her to get around. It was getting close to crunch time for the headcount planning so I contacted her asking “hey I haven’t heard from the boys and I can follow up with them too, but do you know if any are planning on coming?” She then answers “no because the baby doesn’t know his school schedule and the older one can’t afford it”.
I was hoping to at least have one join as I assumed one would want to stay behind to stay with Anna but I was a little sad that neither of them contacted me to let me know directly. I told my sister who connected with them and told them to get in touch. The youngest was shocked to hear that he wasn’t going as he was under the impression that he was going and he had even picked up extra shifts at work to save extra money. My step brother confirmed it was a money issue which was totally fine and I thanked him for letting me know. I’m now excited that one of my brothers will also be joining.
Fast forward to Mother’s Day and Anna tells no Ben is not going. My Dad asserts that “he doesn’t know how to clean his room so why should he go?”
Once I hear about this conversation I’m irritated as I keep getting conflicting answers and I need to set my headcount. I Message my dad to get an update and he affirms “no Ben is not going because he ran up our car insurance up so his extra money will go towards that and he has to stay home with Anna”. I call up my dad to try to figure things out as the story keeps changing. I mention that I’m totally okay if the boys can’t come especially if it comes down to money, but the communication around everything has been really frustrating. He then proceeds to gaslight me asking:
“I don’t know why you care some much about whether or not your brothers come to your wedding”
“You’re doing too much. You should have just done the courthouse and call it a day”
And making me out to be a bridezilla.
The call got a little heated but we neither of us got rude or nasty. I finally ended the call with “I got the boys aren’t coming. That’s fine. Once I get confirmation on the accommodations I’ll let you know. Love you and have a good night” we hang up and I go to bed after venting about the whole situation with my sister.
I wake up the next morning to find a short message from my dad saying he’s not going anymore and to have a nice wedding. He’ll give his spot to Ben.
I am shocked. Not only did he drop himself from the wedding but over a misunderstanding on his part. I never guilted anyone about not including my brothers and did not beg or anything. I literally just commented on how frustrated I was with their communication but he aggressively wants to misunderstand for some reason.
I wrote back explaining my position and mentioning my disappointment in his decision but let him know the door is open if he changes his mind. I tried to message Anna but she’s been ignoring messages. From what I heard from my sister she is team dad and busy trying to vilify me.
The next day my dad basically admitted that the reason why none of the brothers are not going is because of my step mom. (Which I was suspicious of). He didn’t apologize but basically doubled down on saying I care too much. He also added he would be at my wedding after all.
The whole interaction has left the worst taste in my mouth:
Thanks for reading.
submitted by Effective-Market-304 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Sorry this may be a long one. First a little backstory. Names and locations will be changed to maintain anonymity.
I (35F) grew up in a blended family. My parents got divorced when I was 10 and my dad remarried when I was 11. In addition to my younger sister (33F) from his previous marriage to my mom, I gained a step brother (27 M) and later a half brother, Ben(22 M). My sister and I spent every other weekend and summers at his house and the four siblings grew really close. We’re all each other’s best friends. I get a long okay with my step mom (let’s call her Anna). As we got older my dad became less involved and sometimes distant and basically let her raise the boys how she saw fit. With a lack of rules at home and few opportunities to make mistakes to learn and grow into adults. They are in their 20s but they are very infantilized. The younger one is not even allowed to change his hairstyle without permission or go on out of state trips by himself. It’s really weird but I moved abroad a decade ago and everyone back home just allows it.
Now on to the story at hand:
I live in an Asian country and a few years ago I met the love of my life and after meeting my family back home decided to get married. We had planned on doing just a courthouse thing because we were both not very big on something traditional, but we got swept up in the excitement knowing that my Dad and Sister would come if we decided to do a proper wedding.
In this country, wedding planning tends to go pretty fast as everything is usually done by one company. We gave our out of town friends and family a heads up in February that we’d have a ceremony in the fall and that we will set headcount no later than late Spring.
My step mom anointed herself the wedding planner as she’s passionate about it. She also cannot make the trip due to a disability which makes it hard for her to get around. It was getting close to crunch time for the headcount planning so I contacted her asking “hey I haven’t heard from the boys and I can follow up with them too, but do you know if any are planning on coming?” She then answers “no because the baby doesn’t know his school schedule and the older one can’t afford it”.
I was hoping to at least have one join as I assumed one would want to stay behind to stay with Anna but I was a little sad that neither of them contacted me to let me know directly. I told my sister who connected with them and told them to get in touch. The youngest was shocked to hear that he wasn’t going as he was under the impression that he was going and he had even picked up extra shifts at work to save extra money. My step brother confirmed it was a money issue which was totally fine and I thanked him for letting me know. I’m now excited that one of my brothers will also be joining.
Fast forward to Mother’s Day and Anna tells no Ben is not going. My Dad asserts that “he doesn’t know how to clean his room so why should he go?”
Once I hear about this conversation I’m irritated as I keep getting conflicting answers and I need to set my headcount. I Message my dad to get an update and he affirms “no Ben is not going because he ran up our car insurance up so his extra money will go towards that and he has to stay home with Anna”. I call up my dad to try to figure things out as the story keeps changing. I mention that I’m totally okay if the boys can’t come especially if it comes down to money, but the communication around everything has been really frustrating. He then proceeds to gaslight me asking:
“I don’t know why you care some much about whether or not your brothers come to your wedding”
“You’re doing too much. You should have just done the courthouse and call it a day”
And making me out to be a bridezilla.
The call got a little heated but we neither of us got rude or nasty. I finally ended the call with “I got the boys aren’t coming. That’s fine. Once I get confirmation on the accommodations I’ll let you know. Love you and have a good night” we hang up and I go to bed after venting about the whole situation with my sister.
I wake up the next morning to find a short message from my dad saying he’s not going anymore and to have a nice wedding. He’ll give his spot to Ben.
I am shocked. Not only did he drop himself from the wedding but over a misunderstanding on his part. I never guilted anyone about not including my brothers and did not beg or anything. I literally just commented on how frustrated I was with their communication but he aggressively wants to misunderstand for some reason.
I wrote back explaining my position and mentioning my disappointment in his decision but let him know the door is open if he changes his mind. I tried to message Anna but she’s been ignoring messages. From what I heard from my sister she is team dad and busy trying to vilify me.
The next day my dad basically admitted that the reason why none of the brothers are not going is because of my step mom. (Which I was suspicious of). He didn’t apologize but basically doubled down on saying I care too much. He also added he would be at my wedding after all.
The whole interaction has left the worst taste in my mouth:
- My parents tried to make me look like the bad guy just for trying to clarify head count.
- My dad tried to punish me by threatening not to come.
- My dad finally admitted that it’s Anna who is blocking her sons from going but instead of sticking up for me he lets her get away with it to “keep the peace”
- He never apologized for any of it.
Thanks for reading.
2024.05.15 15:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyYcancer zodiac
cancer zodiac dates
10 things about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac traits
cancer zodiac personality
cancer zodiac symbol
cancer zodiac month
cancer zodiac tattoo
cancer zodiac characteristics
cancer zodiac facts
cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac animal
cancer zodiac and capricorn
cancer zodiac art
cancer zodiac aesthetic
cancer zodiac air sign
cancer zodiac astrology
cancer zodiac attributes
cancer zodiac and scorpio
cancer zodiac and aries
cancer zodiac and aquarius
about cancer zodiac sign
all about cancer zodiac
are cancer zodiac dangerous
about cancer zodiac sign girl
age of cancer zodiac
attributes of cancer zodiac sign
after cancer zodiac
animal for cancer zodiac sign
anime characters cancer zodiac
aries and cancer zodiac sign compatibility
cancer zodiac birthday
cancer zodiac bad traits
cancer zodiac birthstone
cancer zodiac best match
cancer zodiac birth dates
cancer zodiac body part
cancer zodiac background
cancer zodiac bracelet
cancer zodiac best friends
cancer zodiac baby girl
best crystals for cancer zodiac
bad things about cancer zodiac
boy cancer zodiac
best match for cancer zodiac
birthday wishes for cancer zodiac
best color for cancer zodiac
best job for cancer zodiac
best stone for cancer zodiac
birthstone for cancer zodiac
bracelet for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac compatibility
cancer zodiac color
cancer zodiac celebrities
cancer zodiac constellation
cancer zodiac crystals
cancer zodiac color palette
cancer zodiac characteristics female
cancer zodiac compatibility chart
cancer zodiac chinese
cancer zodiac sign dates
cancer zodiac dates range
cancer zodiac description
cancer zodiac days
cancer zodiac demon
cancer zodiac drawing
cancer zodiac daily
cancer zodiac dates 2024
cancer zodiac dogs
cancer zodiac dark side
definition of cancer zodiac sign
dates for cancer zodiac sign
dark side of cancer zodiac signs
dragon cancer zodiac
different types of cancer zodiac
demon cancer zodiac
does cancer zodiac have anger issues
description of cancer zodiac sign
double cancer zodiac
diamond for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac element
cancer zodiac emoji
cancer zodiac enemies
cancer zodiac explained
cancer zodiac earrings
cancer zodiac energy
cancer zodiac ear piercing
cancer zodiac eyes
cancer zodiac español
cancer zodiac emotionally manipulative
everything about cancer zodiac
evolved cancer zodiac
element of cancer zodiac
evil cancer zodiac
enemy of cancer zodiac
emerald for cancer zodiac
easy cancer zodiac drawing
emotional cancer zodiac
explain cancer zodiac sign
everything you need to know about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac flower
cancer zodiac flower tattoo
cancer zodiac for today
cancer zodiac female
cancer zodiac favorite color
cancer zodiac famous people
cancer zodiac fire sign
cancer zodiac friends
cancer zodiac facts male
facts about cancer zodiac sign
facts about cancer zodiac woman
fun facts about cancer zodiac
famous cancer zodiac
flower for cancer zodiac
facts about cancer zodiac man
features of cancer zodiac sign
female cancer zodiac sign
friends of cancer zodiac
funny cancer zodiac quotes
cancer zodiac girl
cancer zodiac gemstone
cancer zodiac greek god
cancer zodiac god
cancer zodiac goddess
cancer zodiac gif
cancer zodiac gem
cancer zodiac good and bad traits
cancer zodiac good in bed
cancer zodiac gifts
good things about cancer zodiac
geek bar cancer zodiac flavor
gemstone for cancer zodiac
girl cancer zodiac
gifts for cancer zodiac man
gifts for cancer zodiac woman
gemstone for cancer zodiac sign
girly cancer zodiac tattoo
god of cancer zodiac
gem for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac horoscope today
cancer zodiac horoscope
cancer zodiac health problems
cancer zodiac horoscope 2024
cancer zodiac history
cancer zodiac house
cancer zodiac hand tattoo
cancer zodiac hair color
cancer zodiac hoodie
cancer zodiac humor
how rare is cancer zodiac sign
happy birthday cancer zodiac
how is cancer zodiac sign
how dangerous is cancer zodiac
how to be friends with a cancer zodiac
how will cancer zodiac die
how to deal with cancer zodiac sign
healing crystals for cancer zodiac
habits of cancer zodiac
herbs for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac in hindi
cancer zodiac in chinese
cancer zodiac images
cancer zodiac in telugu
cancer zodiac info
cancer zodiac in spanish
cancer zodiac is what month
cancer zodiac in relationships
cancer zodiac information
cancer zodiac in 2024
is cancer zodiac dangerous
interesting facts about cancer zodiac
is cancer zodiac rare
information about cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac rich or poor
instagram bio for cancer zodiac
images of cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac sign lucky
indian celebrities with cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac a water sign
cancer zodiac jewelry
cancer zodiac jobs
cancer zodiac july
cancer zodiac june
cancer zodiac january 2024
cancer zodiac june 21
cancer zodiac japanese
cancer zodiac july 22
cancer zodiac june 27
cancer zodiac july 16
july cancer zodiac
jobs for cancer zodiac
june cancer zodiac sign
july cancer zodiac traits
jewelry for cancer zodiac
june cancer zodiac personality
june cancer zodiac traits
june vs july cancer zodiac
july birthday cancer zodiac
jade for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac kids
cancer zodiac keywords
cancer zodiac keychain
cancer zodiac kpop idols
cancer zodiac killers
cancer zodiac karma
cancer zodiac know for
cancer zodiac keyboard symbol
cancer zodiac child
cancer zodiac knight
kpop idols cancer zodiac
kpop idols who have cancer zodiac sign
korean actors cancer zodiac
korean celebrities with cancer zodiac sign
katangian ng cancer zodiac
karaang napta cancer zodiac sign
karma cancer zodiac
what kind of person is cancer zodiac sign
things to know about cancer zodiac
everything to know about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac lucky numbers
cancer zodiac love
cancer zodiac logo
cancer zodiac love language
cancer zodiac lucky colors
cancer zodiac love compatibility
cancer zodiac libra
cancer zodiac lips
cancer zodiac least compatibility
cancer zodiac leo
lucky stone for cancer zodiac sign
logo cancer zodiac
leo and cancer zodiac sign
lucky color for cancer zodiac
lucky wallpaper for cancer zodiac
lucky number for cancer zodiac sign
lunar eclipse effect on cancer zodiac
libra and cancer zodiac sign compatibility
last day of cancer zodiac
love life of cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac meaning
cancer zodiac men
cancer zodiac memes
cancer zodiac match
cancer zodiac month dates
cancer zodiac moon sign
cancer zodiac moon
cancer zodiac meaning male
cancer zodiac meaning female
meaning of cancer zodiac sign
male cancer zodiac
meaningful cancer zodiac tattoo
more about cancer zodiac sign
month of cancer zodiac sign
moonstone for cancer zodiac
month of cancer zodiac
male cancer zodiac tattoo
match for cancer zodiac
mlbb cancer zodiac skin
cancer zodiac necklace
cancer zodiac negative traits
cancer zodiac number
cancer zodiac names
cancer zodiac nails
cancer zodiac nail designs
cancer zodiac nicknames
cancer zodiac necklace gold
cancer zodiac neck tattoo
cancer zodiac necklace silver
nicknames for cancer zodiac
names for cancer zodiac girl
nature of cancer zodiac sign
names for cancer zodiac boy
negatives of cancer zodiac
nature of cancer zodiac
number for cancer zodiac
nba players cancer zodiac
names related to cancer zodiac
next to cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac outfits
cancer zodiac origin
cancer zodiac opposite
cancer zodiac opposite sign
cancer zodiac overview
cancer zodiac of the day
cancer zodiac oc
cancer zodiac origin story
cancer zodiac occupations
cancer zodiac other names
opposite of cancer zodiac
one word to describe cancer zodiac
other names for cancer zodiac
outfits for cancer zodiac sign
opal for cancer zodiac
one piece cancer zodiac
october cancer zodiac
onyx for cancer zodiac
another word for cancer zodiac
ox cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac personality traits
cancer zodiac planet
cancer zodiac personality female
cancer zodiac personality male
cancer zodiac pictures
cancer zodiac powers
cancer zodiac pros and cons
cancer zodiac pendant
cancer zodiac power color
personality of cancer zodiac sign
picture of cancer zodiac sign
pros and cons of cancer zodiac
pictures of cancer zodiac sign girl
planet for cancer zodiac
pisces and cancer zodiac sign
power of cancer zodiac sign
pearl for cancer zodiac
peacock cancer zodiac
perfect match for cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac quotes
cancer zodiac qualities
cancer zodiac quotes funny
cancer zodiac quiz
cancer zodiac questions
cancer zodiac quote of the day
cancer zodiac quiet
cancer zodiac quiz buzzfeed
cancer zodiac quora
cancer zodiac queen
qualities of cancer zodiac sign
qualities of a cancer zodiac
quotes about cancer zodiac
questions to ask a cancer zodiac
quotes for cancer zodiac sign
quiet cancer zodiac
questions for cancer zodiac
questions to ask a cancer zodiac sign
quiz for cancer zodiac
quora cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac reading
cancer zodiac red flags
cancer zodiac reading today
cancer zodiac ruling planet
cancer zodiac rising sign
cancer zodiac relationship
cancer zodiac reddit
cancer zodiac ring
cancer zodiac range
cancer zodiac rappers
ring for cancer zodiac
ruby for cancer zodiac
rabbit cancer zodiac
red flag cancer zodiac
rappers that are cancer zodiac sign
real cancer zodiac facts
rat cancer zodiac
ruling planet of cancer zodiac sign
random facts about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac sign traits
cancer zodiac sign meaning
cancer zodiac sign month
cancer zodiac stone
cancer zodiac soulmate
cancer zodiac sign compatibility
cancer zodiac sign tattoo
sign of cancer zodiac
stones for cancer zodiac
symbol for cancer zodiac
stone for cancer zodiac sign
symbol of cancer zodiac sign
scary facts about cancer zodiac
serial killers with cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac tattoo ideas
cancer zodiac today
cancer zodiac tattoos for females
cancer zodiac traits female
cancer zodiac traits male
cancer zodiac tattoos for guys
cancer zodiac tarot card
cancer zodiac type
traits of cancer zodiac
things about cancer zodiac sign
tattoo cancer zodiac
types of cancer zodiac
tattoo ideas for cancer zodiac
the meaning of cancer zodiac sign
tattoo cancer zodiac sign
today cancer zodiac
today cancer zodiac sign
today's cancer zodiac horoscope
cancer zodiac urban dictionary
cancer zodiac usernames
cancer zodiac upset
cancer zodiac usa today
cancer zodiac usernames for instagram
cancer zodiac unlucky numbers
cancer zodiac unlucky color
cancer zodiac urdu
cancer zodiac unique facts
cancer zodiac unlucky
unique cancer zodiac tattoos
unique cancer zodiac tattoos for females
ugali ng cancer zodiac sign
understanding cancer zodiac
username for cancer zodiac
urban dictionary cancer zodiac sign
unhealthy cancer zodiac
usa today cancer zodiac
unknown facts about cancer zodiac
unlucky colour for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac virgo
cancer zodiac vape
cancer zodiac vibes
cancer zodiac videos
cancer zodiac vs scorpio
cancer zodiac vs leo
cancer zodiac venus
cancer zodiac vector
cancer zodiac vs gemini
cancer zodiac vindictive
virgo and cancer zodiac sign
vans cancer zodiac
virgo and cancer zodiac
villains cancer zodiac
vintage cancer zodiac
vintage cancer zodiac charm
venus in cancer zodiac
van cleef zodiac pendant cancer
cancer zodiac in vietnamese
cancer zodiac water sign
cancer zodiac weakness
cancer zodiac woman
cancer zodiac wallpaper
cancer zodiac what month
cancer zodiac water or fire
cancer zodiac worst match
cancer zodiac worst traits
cancer zodiac when mad
cancer zodiac wallpaper aesthetic
what is a cancer zodiac
what month is cancer zodiac sign
what month is cancer zodiac
what color is cancer zodiac
weakness of cancer zodiac
what are the traits of a cancer zodiac sign
what is the meaning of cancer zodiac sign
woman cancer zodiac
what is a cancer zodiac animal
what is good about cancer zodiac sign
cancer x zodiac
zodiac cancer x gemini
astrology cancer x capricorn
cancer zodiac letters
cancer x
cancer x cancer zodiac compatibility
cancer x cancer zodiac
zodiak taurus x cancer
what sign are cancer
x cancer
cancer zodiac year 2024
cancer zodiac yin yang
cancer zodiac year
cancer zodiac yin or yang
cancer zodiac yesterday
cancer zodiac year of dragon
what are cancer zodiac signs
year 2024 for cancer zodiac
yin yang cancer zodiac
year of the dragon for cancer zodiac sign
year of cancer zodiac
youtubers with cancer zodiac
year 2023 for cancer zodiac sign
year of the dragon for cancer zodiac
what year is cancer zodiac sign
what does it mean if you are a cancer zodiac
how to know if your a cancer zodiac sign
cancer astrology zone
cancer zodiac pisces zodiac
why are zodiac cancers so dangerous
cancer about zodiac
cancer zodiac in chinese zodiac
cancer zodiac zodiac
cancer sheep zodiac
zodiac cancer characteristics
zodiac cancer celebrities
zodiac cancer child
zodiac cancer chart
cancer horoscope 0800
cancer zodiac july 07
horoscope cancer 09 juin 2023
are cancers good for cancers
are cancers lucky
cancer sun 0 degrees
cancer 0 degrees
what are cancers sign
why are cancers called cancer
why is cancer called cancer zodiac
what represents cancer zodiac
0 degree cancer astrology
0 degree cancer
0 cancer
cancer zodiac 15 year cycle
cancer zodiac 10 things
cancer zodiac 10
cancer zodiac 18k
cancer zodiac 15th birthday
cancer 101 zodiac
zodiac cancer 16
cancer horoscope 19 march 2024
cancer horoscope 13 december 2023
cancer horoscope 11 march 2024
10 bad things about cancer zodiac
10 things about cancer zodiac male
10 things about cancer zodiac female
100 facts about cancer zodiac
10 facts about cancer zodiac
10 good things about cancer zodiac
10 interesting facts about cancer zodiac
10 facts about cancer zodiac sign
14k gold cancer zodiac necklace
cancer zodiac 2024
cancer zodiac 2024 prediction
cancer zodiac 2023
cancer zodiac 2025
cancer zodiac 2024 january
cancer zodiac 2024 career
cancer zodiac 2023 predictions
cancer zodiac 2024 in hindi
cancer zodiac 2024 march
cancer zodiac 2023 horoscope
2024 for cancer zodiac
2 types of cancer zodiac
2025 for cancer zodiac
20 facts about cancer zodiac
2026 for cancer zodiac
2023 for cancer zodiac
2023 cancer zodiac predictions
2024 prediction for cancer zodiac
2024 lucky color for cancer zodiac sign
2024 color of the year for cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac 3 stages
cancer zodiac 3 types
cancer zodiac 3 signs
cancer 3 zodiac
cancer horoscope 31 january 2024
cancer horoscope 30 march 2024
cancer horoscope 31 july 2023
cancer horoscope 30 march 2023
cancer horoscope 30 august 2023
cancer horoscope 30 november 2023
3 types of cancer zodiac
3 stages of cancer zodiac
3 words to describe cancer zodiac
3 facts about cancer zodiac
3 different types of cancer zodiac
3d cancer zodiac sign
3 fun facts about cancer zodiac
august 31 zodiac sign compatibility with cancer
cancer june 30 zodiac sign
cancer zodiac june 30
cancer horoscope 4 march 2024
cancer horoscope 4 april 2024
cancer horoscope 4 may 2023
cancer horoscope 4 january 2024
cancer horoscope 4 october 2023
cancer horoscope 4 april 2023
cancer horoscope 4 september 2023
cancer horoscope 4th december 2023
cancer horoscope 4 july 2023
cancer horoscope 4 june 2023
4 types of cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac wallpaper 4k
cancer zodiac july 4
zodiac sign of cancer 4 letters
what do cancer zodiac sign mean
cancer zodiac rules
4 cancers
zodiac cancer types
cancer horoscope 5 march 2024
cancer horoscope 5 april 2024
cancer horoscope 5 october 2023
cancer horoscope 5 april 2023
cancer horoscope 5 june 2023
cancer horoscope 5 july 2023
cancer horoscope 5 january 2024
cancer horoscope 5 may 2023
cancer horoscope 5 february 2024
cancer horoscope 5 december 2023
5 facts about cancer zodiac
50 cent is a cancer zodiac
50 cent zodiac sign cancer
cancer 5th house zodiac
cancer zodiac sign july 5
cancer zodiac july 5
june 5 zodiac sign cancer
5 cancers
cancer zodiac 69
cancer zodiac 69 tattoo
cancer zodiac 69 meaning
cancer horoscope 6 march 2024
cancer horoscope 6 july 2023
cancer horoscope 6 april 2023
cancer horoscope 6 december 2023
cancer horoscope 6 october 2023
cancer horoscope 6 june 2023
cancer horoscope 6 september 2023
69 cancer zodiac
meaning of cancer zodiac sign 69
cancer zodiac july 6
what does the 69 mean for cancer
cancer born on july 6
cancer big 6 astrology
69 cancer sign
6 cancer causing foods
cancer horoscope 7 march 2024
cancer horoscope 7 may 2023
cancer horoscope 7 september 2023
cancer horoscope 7 july 2023
cancer horoscope 7 june 2023
cancer horoscope 7th may 2023
cancer horoscope 7 november 2023
cancer horoscope 7 august 2023
cancer horoscope 7 april 2023
cancer horoscope 7 february 2024
cancer zodiac july 7
cancer horoscope 8 march 2024
cancer horoscope 8 january 2024
cancer horoscope 8 may 2023
cancer horoscope 8 september 2023
cancer horoscope 8 june 2023
cancer horoscope 8 april 2023
cancer horoscope 8 august 2023
cancer horoscope 8 december 2023
cancer horoscope 8 november 2023
cancer horoscope 8th march 2024
july 8th cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac july 8
signo zodiacal cancer julio 8
what flower represents cancer zodiac
why cancer is dangerous zodiac
what gifts do cancers like
cancer 8h
cancer horoscope 9 june 2023
cancer horoscope 9 may 2023
cancer horoscope 9 march 2024
cancer horoscope 9 january 2024
cancer horoscope 9 april 2023
cancer horoscope 9 october 2023
cancer horoscope 9 september 2023
cancer horoscope 9 november 2023
cancer horoscope 9 august 2023
cancer horoscope 9th april 2023
9 cancer zodiac sign
july 9 zodiac sign cancer
cancer zodiac july 9
what do cancer look like zodiac
what does cancer hate zodiac
9 cancer symptoms
what cancer zodiac sign
what cancer zodiac sign means
2024.05.15 15:26 Repulsive_Rooster405 How to sell my car…
Have a buyer lined up, ready to make the journey to me tomorrow.
Never sold a car privately before but have a few obstacles in the way…..wondered if there was any advice.
Finance is to be cleared before sale, I know that. The buyer has agreed to bank transfer to me, who in turn will ring up and pay my settlement figure in full. That’s fine surely?
Second - the vehicle has a private plate on. If I remove the plate now, I won’t have a V5c in order for the buyer to tax, and I won’t be able to change the ownership of the car online will I?
I want to keep the plate, but in turn sell the car tomorrow to a keen buyer.
Do I have any options other than to wait for the new v5c to land having taken the private plate off, or selling the car as is including the plate?
submitted by Repulsive_Rooster405 to CarTalkUK [link] [comments]
Never sold a car privately before but have a few obstacles in the way…..wondered if there was any advice.
Finance is to be cleared before sale, I know that. The buyer has agreed to bank transfer to me, who in turn will ring up and pay my settlement figure in full. That’s fine surely?
Second - the vehicle has a private plate on. If I remove the plate now, I won’t have a V5c in order for the buyer to tax, and I won’t be able to change the ownership of the car online will I?
I want to keep the plate, but in turn sell the car tomorrow to a keen buyer.
Do I have any options other than to wait for the new v5c to land having taken the private plate off, or selling the car as is including the plate?
2024.05.15 15:11 Antique_Village7012 Which would you choose?
 | 2 total carat moissanite emeralds prong style submitted by Antique_Village7012 to Moissanite [link] [comments] 1.4 - 2 total carat weight EW set emeralds in bezel Which style do you like more? I want a ring to wear to work that's pretty, but one that I don't have to worry too much about getting bumped or damaged -- I work in healthcare and can be rough on my hands due to patient care but i'm not interested in wearing a silicone ring -- and I found these two from a seller on Etsy (@TheAmericanGoldHouse) and these are both moissanite, fairly reasonable price (in the $550 range for 14k white gold, or ~$180-200 for sterling silver). Obviously $200-500 is still a lot of money but in the grand scheme if it gets slightly damaged at work I wouldn't cry compared to my engagement ring getting damaged lol. Let me know your thoughts on these two styles! https://www.etsy.com/listing/1462426554/2-tc-emerald-cut-moissanite-wedding?click_key=df5460d03867f06dcfc878bccd0b3b756c93038c%3A1462426554&click_sum=64abd39b&ref=user_profile&pro=1&frs=1&cns=1&sts=1 https://www.etsy.com/listing/1653914479/14-tc21-tc-emerald-cut-wedding-bandhalf?click_key=f9c4667c9799bcf2eb368c135ecd99b99eefacb1%3A1653914479&click_sum=a545543d&ref=user_profile&pro=1&frs=1&cns=1&sts=1 |
2024.05.15 15:09 Zealousideal-Fig5025 Stream of consciousness about Melina
Melina is an intriguing character because she is connected to many of the game's fundamental themes and secondary characters.
The character most similar to Melina is Millicent: they both wear the same robe and are in search of their destinies. However, Millicent's quest is driven by her lost memory, which she slowly regains, while Melina's motives are more ambiguous. I believe Melina lies about forgetting her purpose, as there are numerous inconsistencies in her statements throughout the game. For example, she initially says that seeking the Elden Ring involves violating the Golden Order, but then she takes us to the Round Table, where the Two Fingers instruct us to restore that very order. She claims not to know her purpose but already knows we should oppose the Order, which we do by burning the Erdtree—a task she helps us accomplish by enabling us to pass the thorns after she discover the purpose. The inconsistencies don’t stop there. Consider the famous issue of “what it means to be born of a mother”... Both Melina and Millicent head towards the tree where their mother is, but upon reaching Elphael, Millicent reveals that she is actually a blood relative of Malenia, while Melina never explicitly states who her mother is, if she even has one. You might think it’s obvious, yet the game doesn’t shy away from redundancy on key topics. Returning to Millicent, both characters understand their missions once they reach the base of the tree, and their sacrifices are necessary for us to fulfill their purposes. For both characters, this purpose becomes deeply subjective, driven not from above (by Gowry and ‘Melina’s mother’) but by their own set of values, closely connected to their nature. Both must rectify a mistake made by their mother, which led them to lose something. Both of their stories have double endings, one of which requires our betrayal. It is peculiar how betrayal reveals their true nature or their 'element.' Respecting their will also preserves their humanity. Even in the endings, there is a difference: Millicent's death is much more emotionally painful than Melina’s, who remains impassive even when burned by the flames of ruin. Melina, as usual, plays a role and is not entirely honest: she pretends to be the maiden and pretends to trust us but actually tests us, whereas Torrent trusts us immediately (despite initial appearances).
The second character who shares similarities with Melina is Ranni. They both have closed eyes, though opposite ones: the right for Ranni and the left for Melina, but it's the same eye if we consider Ranni's spiritual half instead of the puppet. The parallels are more subtle here but still clear: both possess the duality, typical of the Empyreans, and bring death back to the gods, believing it necessary to free the Lands Between from stasis. This contrasts with becoming the Lord of Chaos, which implies ruling an immutable and lifeless world. There are also notable differences between the two: Melina is a spirit who can physically manifest and fight, while Ranni is a soul who needs a puppet. We could almost say Melina is of the same substance as Torrent, connecting us to the third character, Miquella. However, until the DLC is released, it would be better to avoid further speculation about him.
Melina shares the same role as the Gloam-Eyed Queen. Bringing death to the gods. In the frenzied flame ending, the left eye finally opens. It’s not just the fact that Melina has a purple eye that is relevant; it’s the entire cinematic and narrative construction of the game that compels us to give importance to that eye. The last scene in the game before the end credits is a sequence where Melina finally opens her sealed eye—a detail that has intrigued us since the first trailer; this eye happens to be a gloam-colored eye, framed in close-up within a scene practically devoid of colors except for the eye itself; a fading that darkens the entire scene until it reaches a black screen, but the eye remains brilliant; at last, she says "Destined Death" and the game ends. Blaidd and Maliketh share the same shade of purple eyes, although the texture differs. Both are shadows of an empyrean. Their purpose is to ‘stop’ (kill) a god when it acts against the Greater Will. Thus, the Gloam-Eyed Queen and the shadows of the empyrean share the same role as godslayers. Vargram, aspiring to become a shadow, wields the godslayer greatsword. Melina comes back when we become the lord of the Frenzied Flame, which means to be its vessel; similarly, Marika serves as the vessel of the Elden Ring, so we can say we share the same level of 'divinity' as Marika, who is also killed by us only thanks to Melina; so, Melina's purpose leads to death of a god anyway.
In conclusion, for me Melina is an ambiguous and 'unfinished' character because she is the result of a broken bond between Marika and the Gloam-Eyed queen. A bond that is therefore impossible to reconstruct with certainty (and consequently perfectly coherent with the characteristic narrative of From Software games, in which the player is required to become an active participant), but necessary to bring balance to the Lands Between.
submitted by Zealousideal-Fig5025 to EldenRingLoreTalk [link] [comments]
The character most similar to Melina is Millicent: they both wear the same robe and are in search of their destinies. However, Millicent's quest is driven by her lost memory, which she slowly regains, while Melina's motives are more ambiguous. I believe Melina lies about forgetting her purpose, as there are numerous inconsistencies in her statements throughout the game. For example, she initially says that seeking the Elden Ring involves violating the Golden Order, but then she takes us to the Round Table, where the Two Fingers instruct us to restore that very order. She claims not to know her purpose but already knows we should oppose the Order, which we do by burning the Erdtree—a task she helps us accomplish by enabling us to pass the thorns after she discover the purpose. The inconsistencies don’t stop there. Consider the famous issue of “what it means to be born of a mother”... Both Melina and Millicent head towards the tree where their mother is, but upon reaching Elphael, Millicent reveals that she is actually a blood relative of Malenia, while Melina never explicitly states who her mother is, if she even has one. You might think it’s obvious, yet the game doesn’t shy away from redundancy on key topics. Returning to Millicent, both characters understand their missions once they reach the base of the tree, and their sacrifices are necessary for us to fulfill their purposes. For both characters, this purpose becomes deeply subjective, driven not from above (by Gowry and ‘Melina’s mother’) but by their own set of values, closely connected to their nature. Both must rectify a mistake made by their mother, which led them to lose something. Both of their stories have double endings, one of which requires our betrayal. It is peculiar how betrayal reveals their true nature or their 'element.' Respecting their will also preserves their humanity. Even in the endings, there is a difference: Millicent's death is much more emotionally painful than Melina’s, who remains impassive even when burned by the flames of ruin. Melina, as usual, plays a role and is not entirely honest: she pretends to be the maiden and pretends to trust us but actually tests us, whereas Torrent trusts us immediately (despite initial appearances).
The second character who shares similarities with Melina is Ranni. They both have closed eyes, though opposite ones: the right for Ranni and the left for Melina, but it's the same eye if we consider Ranni's spiritual half instead of the puppet. The parallels are more subtle here but still clear: both possess the duality, typical of the Empyreans, and bring death back to the gods, believing it necessary to free the Lands Between from stasis. This contrasts with becoming the Lord of Chaos, which implies ruling an immutable and lifeless world. There are also notable differences between the two: Melina is a spirit who can physically manifest and fight, while Ranni is a soul who needs a puppet. We could almost say Melina is of the same substance as Torrent, connecting us to the third character, Miquella. However, until the DLC is released, it would be better to avoid further speculation about him.
Melina shares the same role as the Gloam-Eyed Queen. Bringing death to the gods. In the frenzied flame ending, the left eye finally opens. It’s not just the fact that Melina has a purple eye that is relevant; it’s the entire cinematic and narrative construction of the game that compels us to give importance to that eye. The last scene in the game before the end credits is a sequence where Melina finally opens her sealed eye—a detail that has intrigued us since the first trailer; this eye happens to be a gloam-colored eye, framed in close-up within a scene practically devoid of colors except for the eye itself; a fading that darkens the entire scene until it reaches a black screen, but the eye remains brilliant; at last, she says "Destined Death" and the game ends. Blaidd and Maliketh share the same shade of purple eyes, although the texture differs. Both are shadows of an empyrean. Their purpose is to ‘stop’ (kill) a god when it acts against the Greater Will. Thus, the Gloam-Eyed Queen and the shadows of the empyrean share the same role as godslayers. Vargram, aspiring to become a shadow, wields the godslayer greatsword. Melina comes back when we become the lord of the Frenzied Flame, which means to be its vessel; similarly, Marika serves as the vessel of the Elden Ring, so we can say we share the same level of 'divinity' as Marika, who is also killed by us only thanks to Melina; so, Melina's purpose leads to death of a god anyway.
In conclusion, for me Melina is an ambiguous and 'unfinished' character because she is the result of a broken bond between Marika and the Gloam-Eyed queen. A bond that is therefore impossible to reconstruct with certainty (and consequently perfectly coherent with the characteristic narrative of From Software games, in which the player is required to become an active participant), but necessary to bring balance to the Lands Between.
2024.05.15 15:02 Rangersop I got scammed $11,270 over a period of 4 months (long story).
This story starts with me being unemployed and having about $6-7,000 in savings while living with my parents, to getting employed, earning more than I ever had before, and yet being almost never so broke. Him requesting money is done through SMS unless otherwise stated. I don't think I'll be putting a TLDR in, it's sort of a lot regardless.
Why am I telling you this story? There's a strange phenomenon that concealing guilt or shame, or something, isn't good for you. That isn't necessarily what I'm feeling, I am only trying to move on as expediently as I can think of ways to do so. Rather than have my inner circle in the know, as I have had before, I have decided to post into the void.
*Not every transaction is detailed, some are recurring with the most noteworthy ones being bolded in chapter form. There are 82 transactions and this is sort of a long story, so I cut some fluff out by excluding a lot of them. *Note, for all the amounts borrowed and offered to pay back eventually, I repeatedly told them not to worry about it and that I didn't consider them my debtors, this is true to the end of the story, and I will not be seeking financial remuneration. After 4 months of working with nothing to show for it I am simply going to just enjoy knowing that I now get to keep the money I make.
The beginning:
It all started with picking up a tall young man walking by the side of the road in QLD (where I live). The man had been walking for hours in broad daylight and was all sweaty, trying to get to the nearest large rural town some 40 minutes away from where I live, which is also where I was going. We do the usual thing and try to make small talk to break the ice, sharing some personal information like if either of us is studying or working our age difference (which isn't that much, me being slightly older). he told me he was walking to see a mate in town about his car, if his friend had repaired it yet. Because he wasn't sure whether it would be fixed, we made an arrangement that I would also pick him up on my way out of town back home.
So, I do, and we do more small talk to the point of having an actual conversation, he also tells me he has a 2-year-old daughter. This is a significant detail because it is what drives a lot of the sympathy I had for his situation. There is also one thing about that conversation that stands out to me, and that was the impression that this guy was not very good with money because he said he frequently wants to buy something and then wants something else so he sells the first thing he bought to pay for the second, sort of like he couldn't help it or something. I couldn't relate. On the way home together I point out where my place was and drove past to drop him off at his. It was at this point or when I dropped him off in town that I gave him my phone number and said to text me if he needed a ride sometime.
Some days later he texts me asking me to lend him $50 for fuel because his place has no power (I would later learn that his property is not hooked up to the electrical grid and his family uses a generator for power). He wanted me to send it to his PayID number, which is something I had never used before. The next day he and his missus want a ride into town and back to check out a bus(?), he also wanted to borrow $100 which he said he would pay back in a couple of weeks. Before I left town, I got a call from a place I had sent my resume in to and they offered to start me on their employment process, to which I agreed. Yay! They stay in town overnight and made it to a pub, he called me later asking for something like $180+ for drinks and asked me to pick them up the next day, thanked me for funding their (apparently very fun) night out and informed me that the bus is very nice and will be getting delivered to their property in a few days (neither of them had the appropriate license to drive the bus, his father did except he did not come with us and I never met the man). He also asks for $200 to pay off a debt to his brother-in-law, would also pay that back to me as $300 in two weeks.
The next day, near dusk, he asks me for a lift into town to do some grocery shopping at a servo. I show up at his place and his mother wants to tag along, and she has an empty jerry can for fuel to use in the generator. So away we went, for a 90+ minute drive for the third day in a row, except near dark this time. I was beginning to get a little tired of the lack of forward thinking (why didn't you go shopping before I had to pick you up from town yesterday?), but there is so much more to come... I also gave him another $300 that night for some reason and $50 the next day to renew his Spotify subscription.
Two days later he asks me how much I'm actually willing to lend him, I said $500 but pleaded that he has to make it last a while, he agreed. He also informed me that he would now have to pay for the transportation of the bus to the property, and two days later told me that he was $300 short ($800) total to bring it 80kms. That's borrowing nearly $1,000 in two days, he also said this would be the last time he'd borrow.
It's at this point that he asks me what total he owes me, I was getting back to work at the time and told him to check his bank transactions, but I definitely took this as a sign of goodwill that he was keeping track to reimburse me even though I was telling him that he owes me nothing.
The worker's compensation claim:
A couple of days later he asks me for $170 to take his missus out for the night, winds up at the Gold Coast needing $500 for accommodation because he "didn't think things through". Good news is that his missus' car is now registered so I won't have to give them rides anymore, and more good news is that he's getting worker's comp in two weeks to the tune of $3,000 for his hand getting crushed on his last job (he stated this had left him unable to bend 2 or more fingers), he lastly states this money could pay back the $1,650 he owes me (his calculation). Next day $200 for fuel home, then $500, and he asks me to deny him any further transfer. He sends me a picture of the bus, a 1979 Albion Viking. I couldn't find the picture he sent me on Google, so I guess there really was a bus and I really did pay for the pricey transportation of a 55-year-old vehicle that had depreciated to nothing. He said he would send pics when he cleans up the inside, but they never came.
The very next day, he claims my very final $500 transfer did not go through (this may have actually been the case because I transferred the money between accounts for a faster transfer and then to him in less than a minute, so I suppose I just did it too fast or he was lying, but it was definitely gone from the account), to which I said give it a few days. Every day for the next 3 days he would tell me it still hasn't come through.
The nephew:
On day 4 of the final transfer, he stopped telling me it hadn't come through, however he stated that his missus had a nephew (14-15) who was going through some things and was about to be kicked out of his home, needed $200 for fuel to pick him up and bring him back to their place. Okay, well if I can prevent a minor (14-15) from being on the streets by lending a little more, so be it. I went over to physically hand him the money for fuel and he informed me in more detail what was going on, and it sounded believable. A couple days later and he's asking $150 for fuel to return the nephew to his parents, and his missus is requesting $200-$300 for accommodation to stay for a few days to resolve the situation. They stay a few more days down there for a total of about $1,410, spent on food, rent, and trying to calm the boy down.
He also got an update regarding his worker's comp, said it'd be payed out within 6 weeks for approximately $10k, then he asked me for a loan of $1,000 with an interest rate of 40% so I'd get $1,400 back. I, at this point, questioned why in the world would he need a loan of $1,000 after all I'd given him, and his response is... "car" - I asked him to elaborate further and he said there was a car he could buy down there for himself at that price. I informed him that money was actually getting very tight for me despite working now. He didn't get the car. I was also thinking that I would only have to go without having money while still working just until he got his worker's comp, my hope was that I could save and be content knowing his family would be looked after for a while.
I eventually called the bank to ask them if that final* $500 transfer had actually gone through on their end and they said it had, but to trace the transaction would incur a fee of $20, now knowing this and not really wanting to pay it I decided I would triple check if, after all these days, he had gotten that final* transaction: "Yeah, just came through today bro"
Considering this disregard for my time and neglecting to keep me updated on things to be just a quirk of my new friend, not wanting to claim he had been lying, I pressed on in good faith that this could just be water under the bridge.
His missus contacts me and says she needs $290 because she found accommodation for her nephew, and that he had forgot to pack anything including food. Another $100. Then fuel back while the nephew stays at this new place for a week. $70. I had concerns with leaving a minor renting alone so far away and his schooling, but they were met with it was "just for a week" until they could find some place to put him closer to them, their new primary caregivers, that apparently could not be at their house. I was, at this time, under the impression that the nephew was living alone, yet it would later be revealed that he was not.
The tyres:
3 days later after setting the nephew up somewhere close enough to his school, the missus went to visit him and got two tyres slashed, $190 to replace. She goes to the tyre place and is told that all of the tyres need to be replaced otherwise it is not legal, so it's actually $390 for all 4 (I was skeptical about this and was on a work break at the time, still have not looked into the validity of the claim). Some more time passes and general purpose transfers take place. I am informed that the nephew has sorted out an Aus Study payment from Centrelink, but that I would need to transfer $200 for the nephew's necessities until it's actually worked out, and I would no longer need to pay his rent. Cool. At this point in time, I was working but not keeping what I made. I paid board at home, but the rest minus my fuel between work and home is what I refer to as the 'x tax' ('x' being a stand-in for the name of the person who scammed me). The requests would mostly happen around the day I got paid, with a believable frequent expense of fuel for the generator being at least $160 a week, not to mention fuel for their car and the infrequent requests from his mother to "pay back her friends"
Sometime later, the missus got another flat tyre from driving over a piece of metal on the highway, $75 to replace and they managed to get towed to the tyre place (I did inform them that they would have a spare tyre in the back of the car, but they claimed it had already been used "the other day when we had another one slashed"). They got another spare but used that as well.
The funeral:
I get a text at work from the man saying that his grandfather was in palliative care with only one or two weeks left, and that his cousin was requesting he and his mother go down to see him, so he asks me if I can help. I decided I should be setting a weekly limit or something so this new friend doesn't drain my bank account each pay day, so I gave him $100 and let him know that it's a hard limit. 4 days later, he tells me that his grandfather had passed 2 days prior, needed $100 to get down to his funeral. I could only give him $85 and told him I would be unable to fund his return trip, to which he agreed would be fine. 2 days later, after the funeral, he tells me that he and his mother need $200+ to get home, get food & drinks on the way back and that the rest of their family would not help them and that they "have no other way back". Getting tired of the lack of forward thinking in this family's affairs, I reluctantly agreed to save them once again.
5 days later I ask him when he gets his worker's comp payout so I can begin to save up money from work knowing he and his family is taken care of for a while, he tells me "next week hopefully". This was in late March. Queue more travelling and fuel costs to now go and cremate the grandfather as his wishes were for him and his mother to be there when it happens. Now, I thought the funeral had already happened and that was the end of it, but it turns out that was just the funeral service, which is something I was not aware was a thing. Due to this misunderstanding, I was very suspicious at this point and exclaimed in a text "You already had the funeral!" while thinking "you can't bury someone twice, is this evidence you are scamming me?".
They also needed accommodation, except I was so suspicious of this man that I requested he find and tell me the name of the hotel they'll be staying at, just so I can verify that is the actual price per head. Also, his mum blew another tyre, but they happened to be right outside a tyre place... again. He claims to not be having very good luck anyway. A request is made for money to take his missus out for her Birthday. I tell him in a lengthy text I had been working for 2 months with nothing to show for it and that I am much more inclined to assist him only with essential spending like fuel or food, and he claimed to understand that, then stated he would use a bit of the money for a small cheap present anyway. The present turned out to be $200 on layby and he needed another $60 to fully acquire it. I was telling him to tone down his spending to emphasis that he needs to live at or below his own means and that he wouldn't need my help if he had just bought a much cheaper present.
It'd been about 9 weeks since he told me it would take 2 weeks for the worker's comp (which was later changed to 6 weeks) to be paid and I was wondering if he had heard back or followed up. He said he did and that they would "get back to him" about it. So, now that hope I had that this was just a temporary situation wasn't holding up so well. Despite all the money I was giving him he had bills "piling up" and one urgent one was for a storage unit where he claimed to have a shipping container's worth of stuff and the owner was threatening to throw it all out if they didn't pay his 6 weeks overdue fee. Apparently, if he had paid just most of the fee he would get to keep his stuff there, which is what happened.
There was a wedding for his brother-in-law and on the way back he asked me if I could help him buy phone data, except the amount he ended up paying wasn't an option for renewal, it was about $5-$10 off from the options available (this just fueled my suspicion even further that something just wasn't right). Thinking that a scammer wouldn't voluntarily give money back, I tested him by asking him for $40 back when I overpaid him and well, that's where it went to, that mobile plan. When they returned home from the wedding they found that their generator had not been fueled like he reminded his parents to do and so they lost all the food they had in the fridge. I questioned why his parents didn't notice the power had gone out and all of a sudden there was a second generator that was for them(?).
Their landlord had apparently stated he would be requiring $200 in rent a week early because he has bills and rates to pay. He informs me that he hasn't got a proper contract to even be on the property and could be kicked out at any moment and that he "needed to keep his landlord happy". I couldn't help him pay that much (nor did I really want to give in to his landlord's outrageous demand) so I sent him a link to QSTARS where he could learn his tenancy rights, except it was Saturday which means he wouldn't be able to call them. Then I suggested that he may be able to get a faster response over the weekend to his situation by making a Reddit account (he asked me what that was) and posting on the shitrentals sub.
A few days later he tells me he has been posting there and learning some things, meanwhile I had been intentionally avoiding the sub so as not to invade his personal privacy, however some days go by and I am suuuuper suspicious by this point I look around for some thread or comment relating to his situation in the timeframe it would have been possible for him to make one. I figured if the situation was so urgent that he would at least try to seek advice over the weekend, but I didn't see any evidence of that, he also never told me if he called the tenant's advisory and I never heard anything about his rental situation again.
6 Days from when he refreshed his mobile data, he had apparently used the 30GB limit. I was astounded at this and knew it was going to continue to be my problem if I didn't find this man a better subscription plan with his provider, so I did, for $10 more he could double his data. Only, I told him that he could have the 6-month plan for more money if he wasn't going to use so much data and because it would have been cheaper for me in the long run too, he agreed. I also thought that if he were really scamming me he would choose the option that makes me transfer more money, which is what happened. I guess that's test #2.
The ending:
Which brings me to today. The nephew was brought back into the story because he had apparently been kicked out of his mates place he was staying at(?) and they needed fuel to go and get him. Kicked out of 2 places? Okay. So I do the transfer and I decided that the only way I could subtly (that is, without compromising friendship or alerting this man that I don't trust him) find out the truth is to visit him face-to-face much further up his property. I wanted to confirm if A: the nephew was real or not B: if there was really a bus and C: if there was a second generator. The best way to do this, I thought, was to just show up and not ask if I could come over because if he was lying about the nephew's existence he would probably say a lot of things to make sure I'd not be able to visit him while the nephew is there. I bring a 6-pack to his gate and realise that he isn't home. Okay. I go home but there's a request in my phone for money for school uniforms and supplies for the nephew to transfer to a local school that I'm intentionally ignoring.
Queue the next day and I get prepared to go again, but I get a text saying that they're out again in town, still waiting for me to transfer money for these school supplies. I had done a bit of research and found that it was either unlikely or impossible for a student to transfer schools within one or two days, or to start in the middle of a term, so I felt pretty confident that this was a situation that didn't need addressing urgently. Also, remember when the nephew sorted something with Centrelink to get Aus Study payments, the one where I no longer had to pay some or all of his rent? Well, that was no longer the case. now he is too young to get them, casually forgotten about maybe? Oh yeah, and he had to start school that day. Anyway, I tell the man that it may be possible to get a uniform from the school's uniform storeroom as that is an option for families with financial difficulty, he says that due to Covid they are out of them and that they tried that already...
Right, so now I ask him how the nephew got kicked out (not important), I just wanted to know if it was planned or sudden, if there was enough time to start the process of transferring from his current school to the local one in town. There wasn't! SO, I called him out, told him what he was saying wasn't possible and that his story sounded like a scheme to get money out of me. I asked him for an easy proof, simply take a picture of yourself with the nephew in the car to prove he's real. He denied trying to scam me and said the nephew and the missus are in the school trying to resolve the situation and that he couldn't take the picture. Instead, he sent me a different picture on Facebook of him and his mates being pulled over for something by the police(?) which he claimed just happened before. I could barely identify anyone in that photo, but it looked like he was the one driving the car(?). I said that I've given him too many passes and the benefit of the doubt, but not this time and that whenever he wants to provide a picture with his nephew, like when he simply comes out of the school(?), to send it my way. Somewhat quickly they got out of the school and the excuse for not taking a picture became "We are driving in the car now"
He says that the picture before is the only one he's got, I said take another when you can, then he goes on about this being the last time he needs fuel money and to do it and then he'll send the picture. I told him no transfer would be happening and I would be blocking his number in a few hours if he doesn't do it (I really do like to give people the benefit of the doubt, it's almost certainly what has led to this going on for so long). He sends me another picture on Facebook except this time it's him upfront (passenger side), his missus behind him, and a child in the backseat.
This photo looked a lot more like what I was asking for, except neither him nor his missus looked the slightest bit worried about losing my charity and the child in the back didn't look 14-15 like the nephew is supposed to be aged. Rejecting this photo for these reasons and stating it was an old photo he had, he kept asking for fuel money just so he would be able to get home and so I told him that if he asks again, I would be blocking his number. I also told him his lack of forward thinking does not constitute an emergency for me and that there are at least 4 adults in his household and surely someone has thought that if they left to go to town, that they would be able to return home. He said that if I didn't provide the fuel money, they would be stuck. I said if his mum (the driver) had to pull over anyway, it would be a good time to take that picture (which I changed to him standing outside the car with his nephew).
He said providing another photo wouldn't do any good as he claims the two he sent were proof enough... the first one really isn't related to the second, it's strange he thought that would constitute the proof I was requesting, really it just raises further questions for me... and that's about when I block his number (after previously blocking him on Facebook).
submitted by Rangersop to australia [link] [comments]
Why am I telling you this story? There's a strange phenomenon that concealing guilt or shame, or something, isn't good for you. That isn't necessarily what I'm feeling, I am only trying to move on as expediently as I can think of ways to do so. Rather than have my inner circle in the know, as I have had before, I have decided to post into the void.
*Not every transaction is detailed, some are recurring with the most noteworthy ones being bolded in chapter form. There are 82 transactions and this is sort of a long story, so I cut some fluff out by excluding a lot of them. *Note, for all the amounts borrowed and offered to pay back eventually, I repeatedly told them not to worry about it and that I didn't consider them my debtors, this is true to the end of the story, and I will not be seeking financial remuneration. After 4 months of working with nothing to show for it I am simply going to just enjoy knowing that I now get to keep the money I make.
The beginning:
It all started with picking up a tall young man walking by the side of the road in QLD (where I live). The man had been walking for hours in broad daylight and was all sweaty, trying to get to the nearest large rural town some 40 minutes away from where I live, which is also where I was going. We do the usual thing and try to make small talk to break the ice, sharing some personal information like if either of us is studying or working our age difference (which isn't that much, me being slightly older). he told me he was walking to see a mate in town about his car, if his friend had repaired it yet. Because he wasn't sure whether it would be fixed, we made an arrangement that I would also pick him up on my way out of town back home.
So, I do, and we do more small talk to the point of having an actual conversation, he also tells me he has a 2-year-old daughter. This is a significant detail because it is what drives a lot of the sympathy I had for his situation. There is also one thing about that conversation that stands out to me, and that was the impression that this guy was not very good with money because he said he frequently wants to buy something and then wants something else so he sells the first thing he bought to pay for the second, sort of like he couldn't help it or something. I couldn't relate. On the way home together I point out where my place was and drove past to drop him off at his. It was at this point or when I dropped him off in town that I gave him my phone number and said to text me if he needed a ride sometime.
Some days later he texts me asking me to lend him $50 for fuel because his place has no power (I would later learn that his property is not hooked up to the electrical grid and his family uses a generator for power). He wanted me to send it to his PayID number, which is something I had never used before. The next day he and his missus want a ride into town and back to check out a bus(?), he also wanted to borrow $100 which he said he would pay back in a couple of weeks. Before I left town, I got a call from a place I had sent my resume in to and they offered to start me on their employment process, to which I agreed. Yay! They stay in town overnight and made it to a pub, he called me later asking for something like $180+ for drinks and asked me to pick them up the next day, thanked me for funding their (apparently very fun) night out and informed me that the bus is very nice and will be getting delivered to their property in a few days (neither of them had the appropriate license to drive the bus, his father did except he did not come with us and I never met the man). He also asks for $200 to pay off a debt to his brother-in-law, would also pay that back to me as $300 in two weeks.
The next day, near dusk, he asks me for a lift into town to do some grocery shopping at a servo. I show up at his place and his mother wants to tag along, and she has an empty jerry can for fuel to use in the generator. So away we went, for a 90+ minute drive for the third day in a row, except near dark this time. I was beginning to get a little tired of the lack of forward thinking (why didn't you go shopping before I had to pick you up from town yesterday?), but there is so much more to come... I also gave him another $300 that night for some reason and $50 the next day to renew his Spotify subscription.
Two days later he asks me how much I'm actually willing to lend him, I said $500 but pleaded that he has to make it last a while, he agreed. He also informed me that he would now have to pay for the transportation of the bus to the property, and two days later told me that he was $300 short ($800) total to bring it 80kms. That's borrowing nearly $1,000 in two days, he also said this would be the last time he'd borrow.
It's at this point that he asks me what total he owes me, I was getting back to work at the time and told him to check his bank transactions, but I definitely took this as a sign of goodwill that he was keeping track to reimburse me even though I was telling him that he owes me nothing.
The worker's compensation claim:
A couple of days later he asks me for $170 to take his missus out for the night, winds up at the Gold Coast needing $500 for accommodation because he "didn't think things through". Good news is that his missus' car is now registered so I won't have to give them rides anymore, and more good news is that he's getting worker's comp in two weeks to the tune of $3,000 for his hand getting crushed on his last job (he stated this had left him unable to bend 2 or more fingers), he lastly states this money could pay back the $1,650 he owes me (his calculation). Next day $200 for fuel home, then $500, and he asks me to deny him any further transfer. He sends me a picture of the bus, a 1979 Albion Viking. I couldn't find the picture he sent me on Google, so I guess there really was a bus and I really did pay for the pricey transportation of a 55-year-old vehicle that had depreciated to nothing. He said he would send pics when he cleans up the inside, but they never came.
The very next day, he claims my very final $500 transfer did not go through (this may have actually been the case because I transferred the money between accounts for a faster transfer and then to him in less than a minute, so I suppose I just did it too fast or he was lying, but it was definitely gone from the account), to which I said give it a few days. Every day for the next 3 days he would tell me it still hasn't come through.
The nephew:
On day 4 of the final transfer, he stopped telling me it hadn't come through, however he stated that his missus had a nephew (14-15) who was going through some things and was about to be kicked out of his home, needed $200 for fuel to pick him up and bring him back to their place. Okay, well if I can prevent a minor (14-15) from being on the streets by lending a little more, so be it. I went over to physically hand him the money for fuel and he informed me in more detail what was going on, and it sounded believable. A couple days later and he's asking $150 for fuel to return the nephew to his parents, and his missus is requesting $200-$300 for accommodation to stay for a few days to resolve the situation. They stay a few more days down there for a total of about $1,410, spent on food, rent, and trying to calm the boy down.
He also got an update regarding his worker's comp, said it'd be payed out within 6 weeks for approximately $10k, then he asked me for a loan of $1,000 with an interest rate of 40% so I'd get $1,400 back. I, at this point, questioned why in the world would he need a loan of $1,000 after all I'd given him, and his response is... "car" - I asked him to elaborate further and he said there was a car he could buy down there for himself at that price. I informed him that money was actually getting very tight for me despite working now. He didn't get the car. I was also thinking that I would only have to go without having money while still working just until he got his worker's comp, my hope was that I could save and be content knowing his family would be looked after for a while.
I eventually called the bank to ask them if that final* $500 transfer had actually gone through on their end and they said it had, but to trace the transaction would incur a fee of $20, now knowing this and not really wanting to pay it I decided I would triple check if, after all these days, he had gotten that final* transaction: "Yeah, just came through today bro"
Considering this disregard for my time and neglecting to keep me updated on things to be just a quirk of my new friend, not wanting to claim he had been lying, I pressed on in good faith that this could just be water under the bridge.
His missus contacts me and says she needs $290 because she found accommodation for her nephew, and that he had forgot to pack anything including food. Another $100. Then fuel back while the nephew stays at this new place for a week. $70. I had concerns with leaving a minor renting alone so far away and his schooling, but they were met with it was "just for a week" until they could find some place to put him closer to them, their new primary caregivers, that apparently could not be at their house. I was, at this time, under the impression that the nephew was living alone, yet it would later be revealed that he was not.
The tyres:
3 days later after setting the nephew up somewhere close enough to his school, the missus went to visit him and got two tyres slashed, $190 to replace. She goes to the tyre place and is told that all of the tyres need to be replaced otherwise it is not legal, so it's actually $390 for all 4 (I was skeptical about this and was on a work break at the time, still have not looked into the validity of the claim). Some more time passes and general purpose transfers take place. I am informed that the nephew has sorted out an Aus Study payment from Centrelink, but that I would need to transfer $200 for the nephew's necessities until it's actually worked out, and I would no longer need to pay his rent. Cool. At this point in time, I was working but not keeping what I made. I paid board at home, but the rest minus my fuel between work and home is what I refer to as the 'x tax' ('x' being a stand-in for the name of the person who scammed me). The requests would mostly happen around the day I got paid, with a believable frequent expense of fuel for the generator being at least $160 a week, not to mention fuel for their car and the infrequent requests from his mother to "pay back her friends"
Sometime later, the missus got another flat tyre from driving over a piece of metal on the highway, $75 to replace and they managed to get towed to the tyre place (I did inform them that they would have a spare tyre in the back of the car, but they claimed it had already been used "the other day when we had another one slashed"). They got another spare but used that as well.
The funeral:
I get a text at work from the man saying that his grandfather was in palliative care with only one or two weeks left, and that his cousin was requesting he and his mother go down to see him, so he asks me if I can help. I decided I should be setting a weekly limit or something so this new friend doesn't drain my bank account each pay day, so I gave him $100 and let him know that it's a hard limit. 4 days later, he tells me that his grandfather had passed 2 days prior, needed $100 to get down to his funeral. I could only give him $85 and told him I would be unable to fund his return trip, to which he agreed would be fine. 2 days later, after the funeral, he tells me that he and his mother need $200+ to get home, get food & drinks on the way back and that the rest of their family would not help them and that they "have no other way back". Getting tired of the lack of forward thinking in this family's affairs, I reluctantly agreed to save them once again.
5 days later I ask him when he gets his worker's comp payout so I can begin to save up money from work knowing he and his family is taken care of for a while, he tells me "next week hopefully". This was in late March. Queue more travelling and fuel costs to now go and cremate the grandfather as his wishes were for him and his mother to be there when it happens. Now, I thought the funeral had already happened and that was the end of it, but it turns out that was just the funeral service, which is something I was not aware was a thing. Due to this misunderstanding, I was very suspicious at this point and exclaimed in a text "You already had the funeral!" while thinking "you can't bury someone twice, is this evidence you are scamming me?".
They also needed accommodation, except I was so suspicious of this man that I requested he find and tell me the name of the hotel they'll be staying at, just so I can verify that is the actual price per head. Also, his mum blew another tyre, but they happened to be right outside a tyre place... again. He claims to not be having very good luck anyway. A request is made for money to take his missus out for her Birthday. I tell him in a lengthy text I had been working for 2 months with nothing to show for it and that I am much more inclined to assist him only with essential spending like fuel or food, and he claimed to understand that, then stated he would use a bit of the money for a small cheap present anyway. The present turned out to be $200 on layby and he needed another $60 to fully acquire it. I was telling him to tone down his spending to emphasis that he needs to live at or below his own means and that he wouldn't need my help if he had just bought a much cheaper present.
It'd been about 9 weeks since he told me it would take 2 weeks for the worker's comp (which was later changed to 6 weeks) to be paid and I was wondering if he had heard back or followed up. He said he did and that they would "get back to him" about it. So, now that hope I had that this was just a temporary situation wasn't holding up so well. Despite all the money I was giving him he had bills "piling up" and one urgent one was for a storage unit where he claimed to have a shipping container's worth of stuff and the owner was threatening to throw it all out if they didn't pay his 6 weeks overdue fee. Apparently, if he had paid just most of the fee he would get to keep his stuff there, which is what happened.
There was a wedding for his brother-in-law and on the way back he asked me if I could help him buy phone data, except the amount he ended up paying wasn't an option for renewal, it was about $5-$10 off from the options available (this just fueled my suspicion even further that something just wasn't right). Thinking that a scammer wouldn't voluntarily give money back, I tested him by asking him for $40 back when I overpaid him and well, that's where it went to, that mobile plan. When they returned home from the wedding they found that their generator had not been fueled like he reminded his parents to do and so they lost all the food they had in the fridge. I questioned why his parents didn't notice the power had gone out and all of a sudden there was a second generator that was for them(?).
Their landlord had apparently stated he would be requiring $200 in rent a week early because he has bills and rates to pay. He informs me that he hasn't got a proper contract to even be on the property and could be kicked out at any moment and that he "needed to keep his landlord happy". I couldn't help him pay that much (nor did I really want to give in to his landlord's outrageous demand) so I sent him a link to QSTARS where he could learn his tenancy rights, except it was Saturday which means he wouldn't be able to call them. Then I suggested that he may be able to get a faster response over the weekend to his situation by making a Reddit account (he asked me what that was) and posting on the shitrentals sub.
A few days later he tells me he has been posting there and learning some things, meanwhile I had been intentionally avoiding the sub so as not to invade his personal privacy, however some days go by and I am suuuuper suspicious by this point I look around for some thread or comment relating to his situation in the timeframe it would have been possible for him to make one. I figured if the situation was so urgent that he would at least try to seek advice over the weekend, but I didn't see any evidence of that, he also never told me if he called the tenant's advisory and I never heard anything about his rental situation again.
6 Days from when he refreshed his mobile data, he had apparently used the 30GB limit. I was astounded at this and knew it was going to continue to be my problem if I didn't find this man a better subscription plan with his provider, so I did, for $10 more he could double his data. Only, I told him that he could have the 6-month plan for more money if he wasn't going to use so much data and because it would have been cheaper for me in the long run too, he agreed. I also thought that if he were really scamming me he would choose the option that makes me transfer more money, which is what happened. I guess that's test #2.
The ending:
Which brings me to today. The nephew was brought back into the story because he had apparently been kicked out of his mates place he was staying at(?) and they needed fuel to go and get him. Kicked out of 2 places? Okay. So I do the transfer and I decided that the only way I could subtly (that is, without compromising friendship or alerting this man that I don't trust him) find out the truth is to visit him face-to-face much further up his property. I wanted to confirm if A: the nephew was real or not B: if there was really a bus and C: if there was a second generator. The best way to do this, I thought, was to just show up and not ask if I could come over because if he was lying about the nephew's existence he would probably say a lot of things to make sure I'd not be able to visit him while the nephew is there. I bring a 6-pack to his gate and realise that he isn't home. Okay. I go home but there's a request in my phone for money for school uniforms and supplies for the nephew to transfer to a local school that I'm intentionally ignoring.
Queue the next day and I get prepared to go again, but I get a text saying that they're out again in town, still waiting for me to transfer money for these school supplies. I had done a bit of research and found that it was either unlikely or impossible for a student to transfer schools within one or two days, or to start in the middle of a term, so I felt pretty confident that this was a situation that didn't need addressing urgently. Also, remember when the nephew sorted something with Centrelink to get Aus Study payments, the one where I no longer had to pay some or all of his rent? Well, that was no longer the case. now he is too young to get them, casually forgotten about maybe? Oh yeah, and he had to start school that day. Anyway, I tell the man that it may be possible to get a uniform from the school's uniform storeroom as that is an option for families with financial difficulty, he says that due to Covid they are out of them and that they tried that already...
Right, so now I ask him how the nephew got kicked out (not important), I just wanted to know if it was planned or sudden, if there was enough time to start the process of transferring from his current school to the local one in town. There wasn't! SO, I called him out, told him what he was saying wasn't possible and that his story sounded like a scheme to get money out of me. I asked him for an easy proof, simply take a picture of yourself with the nephew in the car to prove he's real. He denied trying to scam me and said the nephew and the missus are in the school trying to resolve the situation and that he couldn't take the picture. Instead, he sent me a different picture on Facebook of him and his mates being pulled over for something by the police(?) which he claimed just happened before. I could barely identify anyone in that photo, but it looked like he was the one driving the car(?). I said that I've given him too many passes and the benefit of the doubt, but not this time and that whenever he wants to provide a picture with his nephew, like when he simply comes out of the school(?), to send it my way. Somewhat quickly they got out of the school and the excuse for not taking a picture became "We are driving in the car now"
He says that the picture before is the only one he's got, I said take another when you can, then he goes on about this being the last time he needs fuel money and to do it and then he'll send the picture. I told him no transfer would be happening and I would be blocking his number in a few hours if he doesn't do it (I really do like to give people the benefit of the doubt, it's almost certainly what has led to this going on for so long). He sends me another picture on Facebook except this time it's him upfront (passenger side), his missus behind him, and a child in the backseat.
This photo looked a lot more like what I was asking for, except neither him nor his missus looked the slightest bit worried about losing my charity and the child in the back didn't look 14-15 like the nephew is supposed to be aged. Rejecting this photo for these reasons and stating it was an old photo he had, he kept asking for fuel money just so he would be able to get home and so I told him that if he asks again, I would be blocking his number. I also told him his lack of forward thinking does not constitute an emergency for me and that there are at least 4 adults in his household and surely someone has thought that if they left to go to town, that they would be able to return home. He said that if I didn't provide the fuel money, they would be stuck. I said if his mum (the driver) had to pull over anyway, it would be a good time to take that picture (which I changed to him standing outside the car with his nephew).
He said providing another photo wouldn't do any good as he claims the two he sent were proof enough... the first one really isn't related to the second, it's strange he thought that would constitute the proof I was requesting, really it just raises further questions for me... and that's about when I block his number (after previously blocking him on Facebook).
2024.05.15 15:02 Iweon Go-Rin: a ball sport for l5r 4e
First, I known some of my players follow this sub. If you see this post: pshhhh, don't read. You know this is comming, but don't spoil it :p
So. In a recent campain, I want to have a sports event, and I decided to create a sport so my players can have fun trying their new stats (they just go a lot of xp). What I've come up is a bit of a mix between basketball and handball, and I would love to have some feedback on it. It goes as follow:
Terrain: 40 × 20 cases (1c = 1,5m) Basically a basket ball terrain lines the size of a handball terrain + 3 ring at different heights on each side of the terrain.
Rules 3vs3, 4vs4 or 5vs5 Start of the game • Each team define a leader • The leaders go in the start circle, at the cemter of the terrain, all other player can go where they want in their zone. • Both leader do an initiative test. The leader with the highest init score has the ball at the start.
Points Points are calculated as zone×ring Each time a team marks Points, the adversary get the ball, starting from their ring zone. The team with the most point at the end of the game wins.
Rounds and Turns 1 match is 10 round (=6minutes) • The team with the ball has the first turn. • Turns alternate between each team, until all of the players played once, making it a full round. • Each team can decide of the turn order of its players however they want (exept for pass)
Actions Each player can make 1 action and 1reaction during its turn (only pass-receive can be done outside of turn). Possible actions are: • Dribble: move 2c×Water • Run (without ball): move 4c×water • Steal ball: brawl rules, on an adjacent case of the player with the ball. • Intercept: if a pass trajectory is within 2c×water of the player, he can try to intercept a pass. REF test, same ND as the pass. Reaction are: • Shoot: (Athletism+AGI)k(AGI), ND25 from zone2, ND35 from zone3. Default is ring 1, declare 1Aug for ring2 and 2Aug for ring3. Can be intercepted. Only leader can intercept from zone0. • Pass (send, receive): Passer define a trajectory. Both Passer and Receiver make a (Athletism+AGI)k(AGI) test, ND is number of cases of trajectory times 2 for passer, 20 for receiver. If either fails, the ball is on the ground. • Drop or Pick Up ball (if the ball is on the ground, must be in the same case of the ball for pick up)
Postures Must be declared at the end of the turn. If nothing is said, water is assumed. Water: default Fire=Attack: cannot steal ball or intercept. Distance covered with Dribble is doubled. Air=Steal: cannot Driblle, +1g1 for intercept and steal tests Earth=Defend: can't do any action or reaction except steal ball. Chose an adversary player on an adjacent case and inflict -2g1 to all tests and -1Water for Dibble and run to this player. Follows the chosen player to the limit of its capacity (cannot exceed its own water run action). If the target is not on an adjacent case anymore, the posture is broken and back to the water posture. Void=Goal: 1 turn without doing anything, next turn : +2g1 for shoot
(Sorry, formating is so bad... I am on mobile, I'll edit it to look better as soon as I am on my computer)
submitted by Iweon to l5r [link] [comments]
So. In a recent campain, I want to have a sports event, and I decided to create a sport so my players can have fun trying their new stats (they just go a lot of xp). What I've come up is a bit of a mix between basketball and handball, and I would love to have some feedback on it. It goes as follow:
Terrain: 40 × 20 cases (1c = 1,5m) Basically a basket ball terrain lines the size of a handball terrain + 3 ring at different heights on each side of the terrain.
Rules 3vs3, 4vs4 or 5vs5 Start of the game • Each team define a leader • The leaders go in the start circle, at the cemter of the terrain, all other player can go where they want in their zone. • Both leader do an initiative test. The leader with the highest init score has the ball at the start.
Points Points are calculated as zone×ring Each time a team marks Points, the adversary get the ball, starting from their ring zone. The team with the most point at the end of the game wins.
Rounds and Turns 1 match is 10 round (=6minutes) • The team with the ball has the first turn. • Turns alternate between each team, until all of the players played once, making it a full round. • Each team can decide of the turn order of its players however they want (exept for pass)
Actions Each player can make 1 action and 1reaction during its turn (only pass-receive can be done outside of turn). Possible actions are: • Dribble: move 2c×Water • Run (without ball): move 4c×water • Steal ball: brawl rules, on an adjacent case of the player with the ball. • Intercept: if a pass trajectory is within 2c×water of the player, he can try to intercept a pass. REF test, same ND as the pass. Reaction are: • Shoot: (Athletism+AGI)k(AGI), ND25 from zone2, ND35 from zone3. Default is ring 1, declare 1Aug for ring2 and 2Aug for ring3. Can be intercepted. Only leader can intercept from zone0. • Pass (send, receive): Passer define a trajectory. Both Passer and Receiver make a (Athletism+AGI)k(AGI) test, ND is number of cases of trajectory times 2 for passer, 20 for receiver. If either fails, the ball is on the ground. • Drop or Pick Up ball (if the ball is on the ground, must be in the same case of the ball for pick up)
Postures Must be declared at the end of the turn. If nothing is said, water is assumed. Water: default Fire=Attack: cannot steal ball or intercept. Distance covered with Dribble is doubled. Air=Steal: cannot Driblle, +1g1 for intercept and steal tests Earth=Defend: can't do any action or reaction except steal ball. Chose an adversary player on an adjacent case and inflict -2g1 to all tests and -1Water for Dibble and run to this player. Follows the chosen player to the limit of its capacity (cannot exceed its own water run action). If the target is not on an adjacent case anymore, the posture is broken and back to the water posture. Void=Goal: 1 turn without doing anything, next turn : +2g1 for shoot
(Sorry, formating is so bad... I am on mobile, I'll edit it to look better as soon as I am on my computer)