Soap notes for psychotherapists therapists

I (32F) have been dating this guy 34M for a year. A year ago, We met on a dating app in a certain city where I was working temporarily(I was on a sabbatical and working with an art festival) and he was attending a friends wedding. We ended up connecting greatly on music and whatnot and spent 2 nights together. He then returned to his city but pursued me. I had a job offer there and then we met again. And soon, though I didn't take the offer and returned to my hometown, it turned into a long distance relationship.
We took trips and met in his city and other places , for about a week each month but we always stayed in luxurious hotels, mostly paid by him. he was super loving and attentive and everything I dreamed of. He earned well and established this story of how he travels between his hometown and city of work frequently. Now I can see that it was blatant love bombing.
The first 6-8 months of our relationship, I was also smoking up(h) and then quit. He was the one supplying it to me. I have proof. Pretty soon, I slipped into anxiety and depression and have been pretty low since some months now. However, we still continued dating. His availability kept decreasing. I felt things were off/was doubting he is cheating on me but I kept thinking it's me and my anxiety that's telling me these negative things. I did ask him such questions directly and ofcourse he would deny them.
I would blame and hate myself for being depressed and not being able to talk/be a "good girlfriend " on our calls. He would call me only on his commute to the office or gym and somehow, I was so in my head, I didn't even notice. The calls before sleeping were almost none, by now.
2 weeks ago, I caught him lying over a small thing and the got hurt/a bit alert. He apologised, gave a reasonable excuse and I let it go. I once video called him out of the blue and he wouldn't show me his home. I was sharing this with my friend, who hinted that he maybe married and after some checks, I just found out yesterday that he is married since 2016. And has a 3 year old kid.
He doesn't know I know yet. I have pictures, WhatsApp chats as proof. And all the hotels we have been to will have both our id proofs.
Is this a punishable crime? To have hid his marriage. Does it count for fraud/scam/sexual abuse. Do I even file a case or just disclose things to his wife(I have her number and email). I want to confront him in personal but I think that emotional release may be even more disturbing.
If I file a case, how does it look going ahead? I just really want to punish him and now, im realising he may have done this so many times before to be able to be so smooth at this.
I have no clue what to do. I have been so deep in depression and so ashamed by it. I am realising how badly Gaslight i was for a year..I am also figuring out my next career step since the sabbatical, have been working on design projects and my self esteem has dipped majorly.
I thought I finally found the one. I thought I'll be marrying this guy. And get away with it!!!! HOW?! I'm unable to process what's happening.
Note: Yes, I'm in therapy. Have been for more than a year, looking for another therapists. Have also consulted psychiatrists for meds, one of them diagnosed me with ADHD but I'm unable to get over my fear of meds. I want to get better without them( yes, exercise, yoga, sleep, meditation )And I'm trying. But so far, I am having a hard time being motivated to do anything.

I'm in my mid 20s and someone that once had a plan for my life it has crumbled and trying to pick up the pieces but the pieces won't stay in place.
Notes before reading: *I have been diagnosed with multiple things. *I've tried all types of medication/supplements and none work. *I'm currently seeing a therapist he's pretty cool and understanding as he should be, but that seems to not be enough. *I'm not a harm to myself or others.
I'm wanting to get back to how I was in my early teens. Just that fearless/bold person, but instead I get these issues "woohoo". They were gradual through my teens years, but not enough for me to think about. Now I have no choice but to think about them. It has hindered me from getting/keeping jobs, driving, and socializing.
I can't stand this anymore. I live with my parents they're supportive but they don't understand and are pushing me to do something with my life and I'm thankful but I just can't. There's just this road block. I always feel like I'm having to watch over my shoulder just to see and know there's nothing there.
Point is that I need advice or encouragement. What do I do from here since I've pretty much crippled myself. I have motivation to do many things I just can't get out of my head to do them. The pressure on myself and from others is beyond what I can stand.

I feel sort of sad because while I was talking with my older sister about my struggles of finding summer internships this year, she began mocking the facial expressions I was making, saying they were so weird. I don't think she was being mean-spirited but I became insecure and tried controlling my face, but she kept doing it.
I asked her a bit later on if my face really does weird things and she probably saw I was anxious about it bc she reassured me that they're not weird, just animated and over exaggerated (I think, as in I put more "effort"/"muscle" into them than people usually would when feeling only mild emotions???) and I tend to look happy/excited no matter what I'm saying, which can look strange when im saying negative things (as in me being worried/stressed about summer internships)
I feel that this might exacerbate the troubles I already have showing my face in public. ever since the pandemic, I never stopped wearing face masks because I noticed that I couldn't control my facial expressions. the only times I don't wear face masks is when im alone (e.g. in my dorm room, eating at dining hall) or when around my family at home, bc my mom gets angry about it for some reason when I hide my face.
I wear face masks around my friends but they have recently told me that I don't need to when I am alone with them if the issue is my facial expressions, and I don't feel ready to but I am slowly working towards that. my therapist has also noted that I tend to hide the lower half of my face during our sessions with whatever I have on hand if I don't have a mask on (e.g. a blanket, a book, my hands, etc.)
as my sister says, I smile widely a LOT, almost as a reflex to everything. its something I can't really help for some reason, I could receive the worst news on earth and ill just smile instinctively. otherwise, I feel I have to physically move my face around, rather than expressions coming naturally, which is why my sister might say my expressions are over exaggerated???

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I’m 28, and I’m finally fed up with the binder. I’ve chosen a good place to get my surgery done, and got both a referral and a note from my therapist… and they want another? I had them clarify, and yes, before they even will make a surgery consult appointment they want two notes from two separate therapists, saying “that’s what insurance will ask for”.
I took it at face value and have made an appointment with another therapist for next week but it seems bogus. A quick look at my insurance guidelines shows that they only require one as well.
Anyone else have this experience?

In January of 2023 my wife, I’ll call her S, left me. A bit of backstory because this is mostly my fault. Me and her moved from Florida to Washington 6 years ago for me to find better work. Her dad, brother and I were all best friends for a while and her dad was my boss that’s how I met her. We started dating in 2016 when I lived in Jacksonville and was attending welding school. When I moved back to my hometown I couldn’t find work and eventually went back to work with the company her dad worked at, I ran my own shop. I hated it I was so depressed I wanted to weld but she didn’t want me to because she’d be alone while I was on the road so I stayed. Her mom is a meth addict and is very violent and her dad is laid back as it gets but an alcoholic non the less. I was living with my parents at the time and one day her mom freaked out and tried to hit her, I stood up and defended her and her mom kicked her out of there house. Me and her lived with my parents ever since. Now that she lived at my parents house I had to basically force her to get a job because all she did was play sims and complain. Especially about me watching game of thrones because of the nudity. when I got home and I thought she needed some purpose. I only bring these thing up to put into perspective the things that I had to forgive and give up to be with her. One day my mom asks us if we’d like to move to Washington in hopes of a better life and she could attend college here. I was thrilled at the idea and she was at that moment too. As the date grew closer and I had already put my two weeks notice in she started getting cold feet. I explained to her that I was miserable at my job and had already given up welding and I was not passing up another opportunity whether she came or not. That ended in a fight but she said she wanted to come in the end. My mom emptied her retirement so we could rent a truck, drive up and have an apartment when we got there (my mom was already here) When got here we both immediately got jobs as a construction labor, making quite good money and her at a drugstore. This is where the problems really began. She started to become very withdrawn. She was not interested in anything sexual, and it began to wear on my confidence. I eventually got a job as an electrician making less money as an apprentice, but more overall when I turned out. Then Covid hit. I got fat and depressed, I got a lot from unemployment. So naturally, I began to drink more. Then I started dabbling in cocaine. Over time this became a problem, I began hiding it doing it on the weekends being out all night sometimes for multiple days. She caught me and I lied. My mental health was deteriorating quickly. I had already suffered with depression before, but this was something different. Her dad got diagnosed with stage bone cancer during this too. It was a rough time for both of us. At one point she told me she didn’t know if she wanted to get a divorce because she wanted to go back home to be with her dad if he died. Even though I understood this crushed me even more. During 2022 I was still somehow I was still somehow still managing to keep it together even with my addiction. She started attending college and work and college at the same time with stressing her out to the point where she was crying so I told her to quit her job and do college full-time. I paid for all of it. Financial burdens began to increase. My mental health dropped even lower. I became increasingly suicidal I thought about death every day. I talked about it every day. She would tell me she’s not a psychiatrist or therapist and that she couldn’t help me. She started hanging out with one of her friends from work and they started hanging out a lot towards the end of 2022. This part is extremely important. I started noticing things on her phone that pointed to her being interested in women like things in her algorithm for TikTok and YouTube. Stuff to do with being lesbian and coming out or bi. I asked her one day if that was something that was going on with her if she was interested in women. She told me no. A month later, she came to me and told me that she thought about it and it was something that she had been thinking about. I told her that it was OK and that it was something that I was willing to let her explore as long as we communicated. Then out of the blue one day again she tells me she didn’t mind if I slept with other women. Looking back this was a red flag at the time. I thought it was OK with it for being with someone else. It turns out I was not. Being a cocaine addict and an alcoholic pretty much plus the thought of her being with someone else started to grind my self-conscious. I became increasingly paranoid that she would leave me. One night fueled on cocaine. I got on her laptop and looked through all of her history all of it back years. And I saw she had to stop obsessing over a guy. Is it OK to have a crush on a guy at the gym while married. I confronted her with this information. And it turned into a huge she said I invaded her privacy which I did and still feel terrible for. And she said it was only a crush and nothing else. Our sex life had all the ground, and I was so hurt that she was attracted to someone else and couldn’t even begin to be attracted to me. One night at the beginning of January, maybe the first week or two I was trying to quit drinking and doing cocaine. I had maybe been a week in. It was the weekend and I didn’t want to be alone. I begged her to stay with me, but she went out with her friend. In retaliation, I suppose I went out with someone a friend of mine and got fucked up. We ended up going back to his place with some girls. There was no sex just making out and such. I don’t remember exactly what happened, but I freaked out and got taken home in a cop car. She was at her friends at this point I decided to commit suicide. I overdosed on muscle relaxers with my uncle to tell him bye. My uncle got it out of him that I had overdosed. He called my wife and her and the woman that she was hanging out with came to my house and I was taken to the hospital. I spent a whole week in the hospital. The whole time I was there she just seemed annoyed. She wanted to go back to her friends house and do homework for school. I got out and went back to work. I had to make up some school and the day I was there. I talked to another woman about how I could win her back because she said that she didn’t know if she wanted to be with me anymore. The girls suggested I take her out on a date and tell her how I was feeling and I did. That night while we were eating dinner, she told me that she had been sleeping with that girl the night I tried to commit suicide and other nights. She didn’t tell me she was afraid I would divorce. At first, I remain calm. But as the past, I started to become angry. at home I told her I was leaving to go stay at a friends house because we need to take a break. I started drinking heavily and told her to get the fuck out of my house and I hated her a bunch of other I started drinking heavily and told her to get the fuck out of my house and I hated her a bunch of other terrible things. I went completely off the rails she left with that girl to stay at her house. I bought a bunch of cocaine Adderall and alcohol and was determined to just do drugs until I died. I started self harming. I tried to commit suicide through carbon monoxide, overdose, and hanging. I ruined the house. I broke so many things kicked down doors shattered pictures. You should’ve seen it. It was disgusting. She came by to check on me because she was worried. I was going to kill myself. I can’t remember everything that I said to her, but I know I freaked out. I started throwing things and just being an absolute ass. it culminated her calling my parents. She told him everything. I should also note that during this time I was confused as well with everything going on in my head and thought maybe I would be by and gave a guy a blow job he also gave me one as well. It didn’t last long I wasn’t into it, but I told her the very next day. Had about three months before all this happened. She left again and my mom flew back from Florida. As I sobered up, I began to realize how I had acted. I went to work and immediately told my foreman that I needed to go to rehab. I went to rehab and started to feel better about two months after she had told me and I went to rehab and started to feel better. About two months since the split, we met up at a Starbucks to talk about us. She said that she didn’t think she could be with me anymore. After the way I had acted and all the lying with my addiction. I wanted her back so badly. I told her I’m sorry I was never worth it in a bunch of other stuff that was childish. She said I had acted like her mom and that she couldn’t deal with it. I totally did the yelling throwing things saying horrible things to her to put her down. Anyway, I went no contact with her the whole time she was still living with that girl. I relapsed after about four months. I got laid off from my job. In a few Coke, fueled rages on separate occasions, I would call her and beg her back and then yell at her when she didn’t want to. I called her with cancer and told him that she had cheated on me with a girl. They are very conservative and that was a horrible thing for me to do. So now the end of the tale. I’ve been in and out of sobriety now for this year and a half more in sobriety than out. I’m sober now I’m in AA and NA and feeling much better. Her dad died of cancer. She never told me I heard through a friend of a friend which really hurt me because me and him used to be best friends. Although I understand why she would not reach out to me. Neither me or her have filed the paperwork for the divorce. We just never talk. She has me blocked on Facebook and I don’t know her phone number and honestly right now. I don’t even know if I want to go through with the divorce or just keep working on healing. I’m so confused because I still love her but also I don’t want to be with her but I do. I think about her all the time. I don’t want to break no contact with her. We haven’t spoken in over nine months. I don’t want to open up the wounds for her. If anyone has read this far thank you. I’m typing on my phone so if everything seems rushed and a little sporadic, sorry. I would just like some advice on how maybe I could move forward stay sober and heal from all of this.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Ok-Firefighter602 posting in AmItheAsshole and his user account
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 29th April 2023
Update - 22nd May 2023
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AITA for breaking a promise and attending my stepdaughter's graduation?
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I’ll start by explaining some backstory. I (54M) lost my first wife when my son (25M) and daughter (22F) were ages 9 and 12, Both my kids took it as hard as you would expect and to this day have a poor relationship with both my current wife "Doreen (49F)" and my stepdaughter "Amy (18F)". I started dating Doreen about 4 months after my first wife passed, as such my kids believe I cheated on their mom. Amy was 5 when we got together and as such I see her as my own daughter.
On to the actual story, 4 years ago, two days before Kay's high school graduation, Amy got very ill while visiting her grandparents and ended up needing emergency surgery. My wife and I rushed to be with Amy and admittedly I did not communicate well with Kay. At the time Kay didn't pick up my calls, so I left her a voicemail and several text messages explaining what happened and telling Kay I was sorry but I would make it up to her. A few hours go by and I get a call from Kay, she is in hysterics telling me what a terrible father I am and stated that if I did not attend her graduation I would be dead to her. I chose to support Amy.
True to her words, Kay did not contact me on the day of her graduation. And when came home Kay's things had been moved out of the house with a note explaining that we were no longer family and to never contact her again.
Luckily Kay and I were able to reconcile, however, I promised her I would give her absolutely anything in the world to make her forgive me. She said that she would forgive me as long as I refused to attend Amy's graduation as this was the only way to make it fair. I agreed at the time thinking she was just joking or angry and would soon forget.
This leads me to now. Invitations for Amy's graduation went out, and despite all the hostility Amy wanted to make sure Kay got one. Kay called Amy later that day and said she would be unable to attend as she and I would be spending the day together per our agreement. Amy broke down into tears asking me why I was missing her graduation, I assured her I was not and that I would speak to Kay. Later I explained to Kay that I simply could not miss Amy's graduation. Kay launched into a tirade about how I was a liar and an asshole and how could I do this to her again. I told her that we would talk when she calmed down and she said we would never talk again.
My son, and several of our extended family have all taken Kay's side saying I didn't see how hurt she was at graduation. My wife believes I am the asshole for even promising that in the first place as I should have known it would only upset one or both girls. And Amy is just sad and confused wondering why Kay hates her. I know keeping my promise and not attending Amy's graduation is probably the only way to salvage my relationship with Kay, but no matter how I look at it I would feel like I'm punishing Amy for having a medical issue, so am I the asshole?
EDIT to add some relevant info.
I NEVER cheated on my first wife. your accusations are honestly tiring and disgusting.
Amy's Bio father was never in her life. I am NOT Amy's Biological father, that wasn't ever even in question as we are not the same race.
Amy had appendicitis, she was staying over 4 hours away at her grandparent's house. at the time that we left the only info Doreen's mother would give us was she passed out and wouldn't wake up.
My daughter was moved out of our house for about a month and a half after which we made up and she returned to live with us for another 2 years before going away to school.
I did not believe Kay when she said she wanted me to miss Amy's graduation as it seemed like a ridiculous request. despite what you all may believe our relationship was fine after this event we were in near-daily contact and she would frequently visit us.
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Comments
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Angry-trans
YTA And have been for years. You are a bad father. Kay is correct. You are a liar. You've done nothing to prioritize Kay ever since your new family rolled in. Your relationship with your daughter is dead and the blood is on your hands.
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calliatom
Seriously though... you never should have promised Kay that, knowing full well that you had no intention of keeping your word. And now you're being a bad father to Amy too, by trying to use her tears and guilt to dig yourself out of the grave you dug yourself with Kay.
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CryptographerSuch753
Seems like all op cared about was getting his way in the moment. Seems like that may be a pattern
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victoria12345678909
YTA - you replaced your kids mom with a new family 4 months after she died! Your kids lost their mom so young and you don’t seem like you prioritized their feelings or helped them deal with things, instead you moved on fast. Kay didn’t have a mother to attend her graduation and she needed you there. Could you not have driven to the grad then back to the hospital?
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LadyDerri
Ten to One that Amy is his daughter. That's why he favors her.
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Comments from OOP

Amy ended up having to get an emergency appendectomy, but at the time was visiting her Grandparents about a 4 hour drive from where we lived. Her grandmother didn't give us too much relevant information before we left, just that she had passed out and wouldn't wake up. On the way there we didn't know her condition or anything because her grandmother is a non-native English speaker and didn't understand a lot of the medical terms. once we got there and signed off on the surgery she ended up needing an additional 2 days in the hospital and wanted both of us by her side. During this time I repeatedly called and texted both my mother and son who were planning to attend the ceremony. I had every intention of calling/ video calling so that I could still support her, but she told everyone she didn't want me to be a part of it.

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I didn't immediately move in Doreen and Amy once we started dating, we dated for over 2 years before we moved in together. My wife's death was not a sudden thing she battled cancer on and off for years before she passed. My children already knew/ were comfortable with Doreen as she was my late wife's best friend so I thought they would enjoy having her around more. I offered both children grief counseling, my son took me up on it, and I took Kay to a few sessions but she would kick/ scream/ cry every time I took her finally the counselor decided that forcing her before she was ready would only worsen her grief. I offered her therapy many times over the years, but she never took me up on it.

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first of all, I knew Doreen for years before I even met my late wife, in fact, Doreen introduced us. I thought my kids would like having Doreen around as before my wife passed they loved her like an aunt. I did not move her in or make her a permanent part of our daily lives until over 2 years into our relationship. four months after my wife passed we agreed to explore our romantic feelings I explained what was going on in age-appropriate terms so they wouldn't be blindsided if they caught their dad kissing their "aunt".

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**Judgement - YTA*\*
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Update - 1 month later
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I wasn't sure if I wanted to post an update after the reaction I got last time, I can stomach death threats against myself but directing such hatred toward my children was truly disturbing. But the graduation has come and gone and I thought I should share how it all went down. I'm sure most of you will be displeased.
Amy was mad at me for a few days, but we have a strong bond and she quickly got over it. The saint that she is said she would understand if I wanted to miss it to make it up to Kay. I told her I wouldn't do that to her and reassured her that she has done nothing wrong.
As for the elephant in the room, Kay, she and my son live in the same city and work in the same field so they're as close as ever. My son and his partner were giving her a lot of emotional support at this time. In the end, she decided not to attend Amy's graduation but sent flowers and a card with my son. There were a lot of nasty messages directed toward her, which I feel is completely unacceptable. She isn't mean or vindictive. She is a smart, very kind, very empathetic woman. She made a bizarre ultimatum as a confused and hurt teenager I certainly don't think that makes her a bad person.
I know all of you seem to think I hate my children, but the amount of pain I feel at the deterioration of my relationship with my daughter is unexplainable, I've been on and off anti-depressants since the death of my wife and at my therapist's suggestion will be going back on them. it's taking all of my willpower not to reach out to her again, but I've already disrespected her wishes enough. She can choose to reach out to me when and if she ever wants to again and I'll be waiting.
I know it's not the most impactful update and I'm sure most of you wanted to see me left miserable and alone, but I don't live my life for anyone else's entertainment. I can accept that I'm the asshole, maybe I'm an asshole in general, but I'm not some evil monster that you all want me to be. I'm a man that made the mistake of sharing his problems with the internet a mistake I won't be making again. I probably won't delete this account, but I'm not gonna be updating in the future. goodbye.
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Comments
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YogurtclosetWeird789
Look OP I get that you're human, just a man.
But you can't get away with the I made mistakes because you make the same ones over and over again.
I don't understand trolls and stupid people with the death threats or nasty messages about your kids it's wrong and disgusting.
The only issue here is YOU! The fact that claim to love Kay and how it is breaking your heart that she wants nothing to do with you is your own fault, every 'mistake' you made and repeated always seems to be against her. I don't actually think you care about Kay all that much as you still have Amy.
Now you've decided oh well I've fucked up again and made so many mistakes I'll just leave her alone and not confront the fact you failed her as a supportive father. OWN IT, Change your damn ways.
Believe me, you're not the worst dad out there. but you are a shitty one to Kay.
When will you wake up and realise without the self-pity that YOU have to be the one to make amends. Why on earth would she contact you?
Do you not care that one day she will get married and you won't be invited to the wedding or even to walk her down the aisle? When she has her first child and you find out through the grapevine instead of being a Grandpa?
Maybe one day she will forgive you, but not if your solution is to just give her space! seems to me she had a lot of space from you already. All she wanted was your time and sole attention for a bit, and you've never been able to give her that. I feel for both your son and daughter because it seems you have a favourite and you don't care as long as Amy is ok.
Let me guess and say your wife thinks it's best to give her the space? Amy may be a nice girl but I bet your wife has encouraged your behaviour.
It's honestly sad.
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OOP: I'm giving Kay space because that's what she said she wants, I can't do anything other than that. No matter what I'm gonna still be there for her any way I can, but for the time being, I'm not going to pester her or beg for forgiveness because that's not what she wants. I HAVE made mistakes and at the top of that list is not listening to my children when they tell me exactly what they need from me.

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AAP_BH
Even in this follow up post the way you speak about Kay, the disgust you feel for her oozes out. You claim so many people spoke badly of her in your previous post but those comments were minimal compared to the people that spoke badly of YOU, YOUR WIFE AND SAINT AMY but you don’t mention that, you still want Kay to be the “bad” daughter. Saying her request was “sad and bizarre” no it wasn’t.
It’s so convenient that this is when all of a sudden you realize you need to and will listen to Kay, not when she was begging you to choose her for once since your dear saint Amy came into your life. All you had to do was not go to a High School graduation and you couldn’t even do that.
You’re a horrible father to Kay and you will continue to be one. The fact that you still made the decision to put Amy over your freaking daughter is so sad, the fact that you cared so much more over Amy being upset over letting Kay down again says a lot. Leave Kay alone, don’t ever contact her again unless it’s to say flat out to her face that you are stepping down as a father since you know you will never be able to giver her the love and attention you give your true daughter Amy, that Amy will always come first. I had peritonitis, I was in the hospital (at 8yrs old) for almost a year on and off and my mom would leave to work , she was a single mother, and I was fine. Amy was a teenager, had A MOTHER AND GRANDPARENTS, she had appendicitis a common procedure, 2 freaking days before your daughters graduation and you couldn’t leave just for a day bc “Amy wanted me by her side”. My heart aches for Kay, knowing she is pretty much an orphan. Ughh parents like you I don’t freaking understand, you should’ve given up your rights as a father the moment you decided that your new family was more important than your children. I don’t think I’ve ever had so much hate for a stranger on Reddit.
ETA— by the way you sad excuse of a man, you didn’t make a mistake you made various CHOICES and DECISIONS to deliberately hurt your daughter. You DECIDED TO PUT AMY FIRST. You’re no victim, the only victim here is your ex daughter, Kay and probably her brother as well
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Soft_Consequence2262
Oh Amy the Saint.... I got the same vibes. The Father is trying to paint Kay as the bad person that he needs to defend. Yet, can't go past without a shout out to how AMAZING Amy is... actually gives me the creeps. Feels like he has some weird obsession with her perfection.
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[deleted]
Yeah the Amy the Saint really rubbed me the wrong way. It’s sad that despite everything, OP is still so delusional. I wish Kay a life of happiness, even if it means she would go NC with OP for life.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

i honestly wasn’t sure what thread to post this on, this seemed the most appropriate considered the actual “catfish” thread isn’t working right now.
not gonna be to specific bc i don’t wanna get recognized here. anyways i’m 16 and for most of the past few years i’ve been really lonely. recently i started going on chatting sites for teenagers and met this really sweet guy. he said he was 17 and gave me a decent amount of info about him, he just seemed really genuine. we exchanged face pics. we exchanged discords and everything and started dating really early on. i was really weary at first but then he sent me a voice note and he SOUNDED 17-19. he felt REAL.
anyways long story short, after weeks of dating, today he tells me he’s actually a man in his 30s and he didn’t expect the relationship to “get so deep.”
i guess it doesn’t hurt as much as it would, bc i kind of knew it was to good to be true. he was just so romantic and communicated so well. i hate the real him, i feel violated. but im still in love with who he pretended to be.
he said i was one of the sweetest people he’s met and that he sincerely apologizes.
it just sucks, he gave me so much confidence and was a main reason why i’ve been more open to talking to people and stuff.
i feel kind of sick. i plan on talking to my mom and therapist about it.

Background: 26F. 222lbs. 5’0”. BMI 43.4 I have PCOS, sleep apnea, fatty liver, hypertension, ADHD, Autism, Anxiety, and Depression (i see a therapist weekly and take multiple meds, so the mental health is fairly stable in the past year). I also have chronic pain now in my uterus.
Sorry in advance if this kind of post is repetitive and long. I recently talked to my gyno about my chronic pain and she suggested talking to my doctor about bariatric surgery. Apparently my weight could be what is causing my pain.
I have been doing research, and it seems like surgery is a viable option, but scared about how effective it will be.
I dont have a good relationship with food, in that I turn to it when I am emotional. I tend to get strong cravings, especially during my period. Both I usually turn to carbs or sushi. I have been currently handling it with small portions of carbs which seem to help. I also have an extremely hard time telling if I am full. Sometimes i wont stop eating until i am in pain. This hasent happened in like half a year since ive been more mindful, but worth noting it used to be like that all the time.
I have in the past 10+years of my life, on and off dieted a ton with little to no success. This of course included lots of exercise. I have tried programs and all the different fad diets you can think of. I always end up giving up after many months because the weight just stops coming off. It becomes so much work with no reward. As a result i tend to gain it all back and more (at the worst it was losing 20lbs then gaining 50lbs back). I have also tried meds. Ozempic worked at first then stopped, i ended up gaining on it (used it for a year). Saxenda i actually got worse and gained on it. I am now on orlistat for a month and have not moved.
Anyways I think I am a good contender for the surgery but I am worried I will end up giving up the same as I have always done. I am unsure about asking my doctor about it and am seeing her tomorrow. I know no one can predict the future, but how has the surgery helped you? How has it been different for you than regular dieting and exercise?

Our (43F, 46M) child (16m) has hated school for as long as I remember, especially math but also due to kids (talk about grades, bullying etc). He's had tutors galore since 6th grade and earlier, usually for math, but previously for English as well. Math is his nemesis and he absolutely freezes on tests. Cut to junior year, he has told me to please stop pushing for tutoring and help in any way. I pushed a little anyway at the end of 2023 and got him a tutor, didn't help at all. Then he put his foot down and said he couldn't care anymore.
Some background - he has anxiety and depression, went to a therapist for 2 years (ages 14-15) before he told me he was harming himself. After the second time, the therapist said he needed more help, cut ties and told us he needed an IOP. He refused and said he'd be fine himself, promised not to cut anymore. He has taken many mental health days this year. He has a 504 plan allowing more time for home work and tests as well as copies of notes. He uses it when he needs to.
I just found out he has an F in math and will end up with a D for the year. I tried pushing again and telling him it was only 3 weeks- retake the tests and work with me before any more tests (we did this junior year). I started the conversation talking about his goals and getting into college and to push himself the next few weeks to get there. He got very upset and said he just cannot care anymore other wise he'll go into a depression. He knows what the repercussions of this could be and is more disappointed in himself than I could be (I never said I was disappointed, I said I didn't want him to look back on this and be disappointed). I tried very calmly to reason with him- he isn't required to take math next year, it's only a few study sessions for tests etc. He refused and started crying. I fully believe he's started cutting again.
I am so confused. There is no play book or instruction manual for this. How do we know what to do? How to help him without the enabling him? How is he going to handle life after high school?
I am going to a therapist myself as I have a lot on my plate (father with neurological issues, mother almost dying and repercussions due to a fall) along with handling this situation constantly. We are going to push him to do an IOP this summer as I think he really needs it. What else can we do? I just feel totally helpless.

Background
Demographic: White, male, age 30, 5' 5", 175 +/- 5lbs.
Lifestyle: Active (workout 3-4x per week), Desk/Physical work split of 90/10%.
Complaint: Abdominal injury and pain (1 year and 8 months since injury), presently inconsistent pains levels between 3-5/10 and consistent lingering discomfort (1-2/10).
Medication: No consistent medications, no allergies.
Drug use: alcohol (1-3x per month), non-smoker.
History of the Injury
Late August of 2022, I hurt myself doing a kip on horizontal bar outdoors. Right after raising my feet to the bar and kicking my legs out I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. (I've done this and similar moves many times before through my 20s, while exercising)
Bar kip example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRPFWdelsDY
I couldn't stop slouching and crunching my abdomen. Stretching backwards and straightening my posture was very discomforting. The severe pain subsided in a day but in the following months I couldn't stretch my stomach and had to sleep on my back with pillows under my knees to keep a flexed/crunched posture. Sleeping on the side was discomforting, because the stomach would hang to the side, bringing up the pain.
In 3 months, I felt better. However, there were always some flare-ups of pain.
Pain Description: The pain always feels along "horizontal lines", on 1-3 locations at a time, around the belly button level, below, or above it, with varying intensity of pain. Through my personal touch/observation, these horizontal lines of pain are always along tendinous inscriptions of the ab structures. Sometimes I feel lower 1 or two lines in pain. Other times it’s one of the upper line(s).
Tendinous inscriptions image: https://test.usabcd.org/courses/lk-native-ld2-basic-ugra/lessons/lknative-rectus-sheath-block/topic/3-anatomy-the-rectus-abdominis-muscle/
Causes of Pain from Movement: Pain flare-ups happen when moving heavy objects rapidly (without prior prep), pulling something heavy from ground, rapidly stretching the abdominal area, or a day after the occasional exercise. Jumping and landing on ground from 1 ft. or above can make me brace my abdomen, leading to some pain as well. Twisting my torso side to side could also make pain worse, stretching one side of the abdomen, especially if twisting in my full range. Slight turns are okay.
Causes of Pain from Food: Flare-ups also happen immediately after eating specific foods, like sunflower seeds, nutty bars, and when a bit bloated from eating. Trigger of this pain doesn't need to be a substantial amount of food either. Sometimes just a bite or two gets the sensation going.
Pain Relief: Often immediately after having bowel movement there is some pain relief. If pain is not too intense, and more of a discomfort, bowel movement can sometimes end the discomfort
Medical History and Pain Progress Timeline

• September 2022, within a week of the injury, ruled out hernia at a clinic.
  
• 3+ months of slow pain relief, with flare ups. Mostly sedentary life and very little physical activity.
  
• Late December 2022 through early February 2023: Doctors visit, abdominal ultrasound, and physical exam. No specific conclusions on either physical injury or gastric issues. No diagnosis.
  
• February to June 2023:
  

Slow increase in physical activity and exercise. Some running. With a good warm up, stretching the abdominal area isn't too painful (though I did not stretch the area at this time)
Rare ab exercises can feel discomforting, and some pain returns the day after.
Jumping high or landing from high jumps/drops can bring about the pain or worsen it.
Bloated stomach, or consumption of some foods (as mentioned above) can feel discomforting or even painful along 1 or more " horizontal lines". Bowel movement often relieves discomfort and even pain.

• July 1st, 2023, MRI of abdomen. No diagnosis or findings. Quote from the report: "IMPRESSION: Normal noncontrast MRI of the abdomen. There is no abnormality to explain the patient's pain."
  
• August 2023, start of physical therapy. Therapist's hypothesis - myofascial layer causes pain. Prescribed exercises to do at home with light stretch and some balance/strengthening of abdomen.
  
• August 2023, start of journaling of my pain in 1-10 scale on daily basis, as I do the PT.
  
• September 26, 2023, endoscopy was done, no notable results. Results were normal
  
• August 2023 - March 2024, pain fluctuates with steady 2/10 (pain discomfort) with multiple flare ups of pain, one reaching up to 5/10 and lasting and others staying at 3/10 or higher for 2-3 days in a row.
  
• April 2024, colonoscopy revealed no remarkable results. 1 week post colonoscopy pain levels increased to an all time high or close to it (5-6/10). Mostly pain along tendinous intersections, in 3 locations, with some lower right and left abdomen pains, burning sensation around or above bladder, and other discomforts. No issues with bowel movements or peeing.
  

Post colonoscopy I did not return to physical activities and PT as the pain lingers on and is too consistent and limiting to do much in terms of consistent exercise.
Self-medication: On a few occasions, I tried to apply heat or cold, which didn’t help with pain much. But the cold helped numb things down. Heat helped to warm the abdomen and make some movements easier for a short time.
Rare/inconsistent instances of ibuprofen use (around 400-600 mg). Can't remember how effective pain relief is.
Massage/poking: Generally, I do it when I feel pain or discomfort along the horizontal lines. Massage, poking, deep massage does NOT reduce the pain for me. Sometimes even makes me feel the pain more. But mentally feels good to do and feel out where I feel it.
Present day condition (May 2024)
Some pain flare-ups with physical activities, infrequent feeling of discomfort after food (for both, often relieved through bowel movement).
Concern: While pain level has overall gone down since 1.5 years ago, I am not certain what I should and should not do, given there is no diagnosis or clear understanding of cause of pain. The occasional pain increases made me curious if someone had an experience with pain like this. Doctor's appointment all have lead to little to no improvement.
Additionally, I sense a lot of dismissiveness in all the doctors and specialist for this entire timeline described above, where with no results to show on diagnostic tests, I am sent home to "rest" without any hypothesis or brainstorming, and telling me "come back if pain gets worse". It gets worse and I run another round of catching doctors for, what feels like, waste of time with more tests, same questions and same story being told over and over to each new referred specialist I see.
Note: I asked the doctors on multiple occasions to review the MRI images or query a radiologist to do so as there are 100s of frames. I genuinely don't believe that initial look at it was done properly, with only 1 page report showing "unremarkable" for all metrics they looked at. I don't sense that my pain patterns (which I described extensively to every doctor and the radiologist) were accounted for when looking through any of the tests done.
Thanks in advance for any feedback!!!
[Previously posted on with no luck so far.]

Hello, I (22m) went to an initial therapy session 2 weeks ago. I went because I wanted help with being comfortable around people. I don't have any friends, and haven't had any since middle school. I only show my true personality to my two sisters and parents. With other people my personality retreats into a shell. I am very quiet, my mind often blank in conversation not knowing what to say. With my family I don't have to think of what to say or do, I just am. I see others interact with each other so easily just being themselves with each other the way I can be myself with my family. Seeing them interact so easily made me feel a bit envious. I wished I could just be comfortable around people like they are, and not be so tense and uncomfortable when socializing. I hate that I probably make people uncomfortable when socializing because of how awkward and socially inept I am. In my work I've noticed the ones with the best social skills get special treatment and get promoted to better positions. This is what brought me to my first therapy session. I felt something is wrong with me because of how much I stand out from my peers.
But after reflecting a little the last two weeks. I don't know if I really care about being closer with people or connecting with them. I don't have a desire for friends. I haven't had them for a long time and never felt lonely from it. The few times people have tried to be my friend, I disliked engaging in conversation, texting, hanging out, etc. I have almost never felt a desire to initiate conversation with people, the few times I did it was so people wouldn't think I am so weird for never talking. A part of me does desire a girlfriend, but I think I just like the idealized fantasy, I know the real thing would be just as exhausting as other relationships.
My therapist said we'll work on helping me be more comfortable around people. I think I am well socialized enough to do my job and do everyday things out in the world. It was just making genuine connections/friends that I struggled with. But I don't know if I care to make genuine connections/friends. I don't think I do. So this is making me wonder if I should even continue going to therapy. But perhaps I do want to have friends/relationships and I am just coping telling myself I don't need or want them. I don't feel this is the case but it could be. I feel content now, but will I still feel content in a decade? Two decades? Eventually my siblings will leave to make their own families, and my parents wont be there forever. I would be truly alone then. If I did have a problem it would be easier to solve now than solving it way later in life. These are the concerns I have. Is it best I stay in therapy even though I feel mostly content right now?
As a side note I also really struggle with coming up with things to say in therapy (people in general) so I feel it would make therapy a lot harder. My mind blanked so much on the last session.

1.1 A resonator vector has multiple base modes 1.1.1 At offset fifths all in resonator is laxative 1.1.2 At offset octaves is Parrafin wax 1.1.3 A resonator vector has a few ranges in semitone division C1-C2 Always Rubber C2-C3 Normally Rubber C3-C4 Base Crude C4-C5 Food Grade Oil C5-C6 Laxative Only C7-C7 Flavor Only 1.1.4 A resonator vector is best cured by a filter reds method 1.1.5 A resonator vector usually indicates rubber or a laxative when it is unmessed by the filter reds method 1.1.6 By default a resonator vector is a rubber source of latex rubber 1.1.7 Cured Resonator forms the LaTeX substance which has various functions 1.1.8 LaTeX and Resonator are slightly but not altogether that toxic 2.1 A corpus vector has a physical object 2.2 A beam object is the fluid object and a marimba object is the human object and a membrane object is the drummer object and a pipe object is the stoner object and a tube object is the dauchund object 2.3 Corpus appears in a few range 16.35-120 Roor 120-262 Bacteria 262-512 Plants 512-1024 Foods 1024-2024 Human Related 2024-4048 Human Perephiery Related 2.4 Corpus has brightness or object ID material or object scientifics spread or object alignment inharmonic or object wavy filter or object oily or smoky 2.5 Objects may be made magical by realigning their direct spread to mid 2.6 Objects encode the disease of the person that used it 2.7 Objects yield food tokens when used in correct 3 depth beam tube pipe then cooked with pizza box or otherwise 2.8 Objects have an exact identifier by harmonics or upclicks and version for different variant upclick 2.9 Objects have a serial identifier associated with them which is their direct harmonic offset 3.0 A grain delay vector is a fluid extraction vector 3.1 A grain delay causes a derrick to appear on the signal when configured correctly 3.2 A grain delay should be used on the aboveground portion of crude extraction 3.3 A grain delay pumps fluid 3.4 A grain delay is best used at 1 and -9 or -24 or +12 3.5 Do not exceed one grain delay per extraction as it is the sampled oil derrick 3.6 Do not use grain delay in an ocean or it will cause an oil spill 3.7 Do not generally use grain delay or derrick outside of a fluids extraction 3.8 Do not use grain delay spray or the derrick will break 3.9 Do not use grain delay parameter besides 1 or the derrick will break 4.0 Vocoder is the fluid extractions vector 4.1 Use negative formant to go underground 4.2 Proof the oil at up to total proof at depth 4.3 Use 40 vector for best usage 4.4 Use up to 200 bandwidth for best usage 4.5 Top sample peaks if they are excessive 4.6 Increase fluid flow if possible to reason 4.7 Take fluid from belowground to aboveground with top formant 4.8 Do not use any form of negative total proof or it will be a shower 4.9 Tune after each peak 5.0 Q or eq is the tune process 5.1 Use tune to make a different amount of the particular thing 5.2 Put things all in the right place and resonance to get the detailed oil or water out of a signal 5.3 Use tune to isolate a particular thing 5.4 Use one tune to get your hands on something or use a motor pool tool with classic tune 5.5 Use tune with a network to do maintenance on something 5.6 Use tune to isolate a specific force 5.7 Use tune to create a hormone effect on the body 5.8 Use tune to specify how many hydrocarbon rings something has 5.9 Use tune at octaves for rubber wheels 6.0 Ugandan process saturator 6.1 Saturator gets the commoners on it 6.2 Saturator increases crude oil yield 6.3 Saturator prevents fires 6.4 Saturator adds more content to oil making it less pure 6.5 Saturator is an early stage process not a late stage process 6.6 Saturator causes mutagen to appear in the signal 6.7 Using at least one saturator in extraction makes the oil ugandan method 6.8 Using more than one saturator in the signal makes the oil actually ugandan 6.9 Saturator should be used with radiation surpression protocol 7.0 Vinyl is the ugandan refinery 7.1 Vinyl is the base cost of oil to create one barrel of oil at 221$ for a ugandan barrel 7.2 Vinyl creates stasis noise 7.3 Vinyl at hydrocarbons modification creates the appearance of stereo vinyl signal which is the vinyl chloride 7.4 Only one vinyl should be used in the ugandan method, the initial hydrocarbons source 7.5 Vinyl can be used to isolate pure vinyl chloride with mid side 7.6 The product is always polyvinyl chloride for a synthesis which uses more than one vinyl 7.7 The product is actual vinyl chloride for a synthesis which uses the mid side extraction method 7.8 A specific cure for the vinyl chloride created in extraction method exists 7.9 Vinyl is the rather dangerous portion of the ugandan process 8.0 Tube Amp or get jonnay a sample 8.1 Tube Amp does a minor observation on the signal which is not the actual observation of the signal 8.2 Tube Amp is the process used at the pre cracking stage before pre cracking in the oil field lot to certify oil field purity 8.3 Tube Amp can get jonnays hands on it and make the oil light and sweet crude 8.4 Tube Amp biases the signal towards mutagen 8.5 Tube can deconvolve the foundry observation or keep it the same 8.6 Tube Amp allows for up to three or a twentieth of the sample oil taken 8.6 Tube Amp is generally nonessential but allows for the process to be modified to light sweet crude 8.7 The modification to light sweet crude takes no time 8.8 The process involved may define oil sources further 8.9 Tube Amp is toxic to use as is as a standard signal and a wideband cure exists 9.0 Chanel eq or smelly 9.1 Chanel eq is where smell is observed in the signal 9.2 Adding just one chanel adds 10 times the smell 9.3 Chanel can do basic tasks and even in a pinch more than the standard worker number of chanel could do product work 9.4 Chanel is a perfumes process which causes something to become odorfactant 9.5 Chanel can make a signal less mutagenic substantially 9.6 Endocrine disruption by chanel has a specific cure 9.7 At the foundry chanel causes typical foundry area petrochemicals smell 9.8 Chanel Eq can expose you to something odifacantly 9.9 Chanel EQ is a critical process of drugs sensing 10.1 Cabinet Cabinet puts something in the cabinet, with the garbage 10.2 Cabinet has the garbage bin of all your friends in it 10.3 Cabinet can be used to imply something kept secret, deleted, or otherwise specifically specified 10.4 Cabinet has the bacterial disease of the cabinet on it 10.5 Cabinet is no more dangerous than your garbage bin in your kitchen 10.6 Cabinet can access your garbage bin in your kitchen 10.7 Cabinet is an essential part of home renewal processes to specify which part of the house needed to be renewed 10.8 Renewal process exist for specifying 2 cabinet upgrade 1x12 and 2x12 cabinet can be fulfilled by the renewal system 10.9 Cabinet can cause skin irritation if the cabinet is destroyed 11.0 Amp is the process of a drug addict 11.1 Amp provides a drug addict with reasonable amounts of their drug 11.2 Amp uses the food of the drug addict to generate the smoke of the drug 11.3 Amp is very dangerous and if set to default and not the rock user will kill the user outright 11.4 Amp is a specific process which is used when heavy metals are in the signal like at the oilfield hell which went too deep often amp is used to create synthesis effect in the oilfield hell 11.5 Amp provides Amp MTN DEW to the user 11.6 Amp Unlocks the mail system to the user 11.7 Amp causes many disease and a cure only exist for about half 11.8 If cured amp must be set to specific amp MTN DEW Abilities like Obtaining AMP MTN DEW at a store or obtaining amp MTN Dew by mail 11.9 Amp is very dangerous but I heard you can store marijuana in it 12.0 Gate or medical epitalon 12.1 Gate heals a signal, when the appropriate full poly gate is given at gate inverse gate for the whole range, then the recreational drug is formed 12.2 When gate is given in appropriate range to heal a generic signal and there is a gate inverse gate assembly for the whole range and the range does not exceed healthy and unhealthy there is a vaccine 12.3 When the vaccine is used in the recreational usage there is a battlesedative usage 12.4 A purely recreational use FLIP (few) exists, a purely recreational use CBX (20) exists, REDS medical (156) and BAGS (30) Medical Exist all also using Medical Gate 12.5 Gate has no cure of itself but can detoxify itself and even fetch a signal 12.6 Gate is not a signal router so should not be used to route a signal, this is emergency feature 12.7 Gate has various parameters which are always REDS 9,.02,10,333,-inf in a medical usage 12.8 Many gate have a use to create pressure with nominal pressure, gates can create pressure 12.9 Gates can refine a computer signal to detect right and are involved with doing work on something 13.0 Compressor or Pipes 13.1 Compressor Routes a signal somewhere else 13.2 Compressor Does quality assurance on an existing foundry full product 13.3 Compressor does the engine compression of a car without causing framerate lag 13.4 Compressor can do something on bequest of another pipe 13.5 Compressor has a variable pipe response to different substance, different behavior can be specified 13.6 Compressor in quality assurance should use the same sybian knee and threshold equal one another 13.7 Compressor in quality assurance should not exceed 5 minor acts of quality control 6 or 1 major act of quality control 12 13.8 Compressor causes unsteady supply 13.9 Compressor causes internal combustion in internal combustion 14.0 Delay or phase 14.1 Phase or delay can do surgery at 500 and 1000 and 0 rather third unused there is surgery 14.2 Phase or delay can do a keyboard retrieval or a keyboard flash at 333,666,999 14.3 Phase or delay can do shift register at 5000 14.4 Phase or delay can do manual register at 375,500,1000 14.5 Phase has a specific infinite ammo use at 4000 14.6 Phase has a firearms use at 37.5,50,75,100,200 except in blueprint use 14.7 Phase has a blueprint use 1,2.12,5,10,11.1,15,20,22.2,25,33.3,35,44.4,50,55.5,60,66.6,70,75,77.7,80,100 14.8 Phase has specific blueprint use of the offset of the individual components at the high end 14.9 Phase has splitter use of 5000,2111, and the firearms rate in splitter 15.0 Looper, or Pizza Box 15.1 Pizza box automatically cooks food at minus 20 15.2 Pizza box creates more of the food than you can believe 15.3 Pizza Box allows for the food to be cooked from Pizza Box to Pizza Box 15.4 Pizza Box Allows theft of item when recording 15.5 Pizza Box Is An Obligate Time Consumer Using Wav 15.6 Pizza Box Allows You to Get an Item from the Pizza Box (PIZZA SLICE) 15.7 Pizza Box Only Actually Cooks the Item on Retrieval 15.8 Pizza Box is Not Watertight And Cannot Become Watertight 15.9 Hit Circle (PIZZA) To Add Pizza or Other Food to Pizza Box Directly In 16.0 Frequency Shifter, F(X), Oxidation Reduction 16.1 Use oxidation reduction at exactly 500 Therms of oxidation to cook a food 16.1 Add 11.1 HZ At 50HZ Oxidation Variation to Cook the Food Well 16.2 Change Offset at Oxidation Reduction Parameter Offsetor to Change Food Flavor 16.3 Put an Aircraft literally into the sky by Oxidizing it 16.4 Peroxos, or Base Frequency Shift In Parts of F100 are a critical part of many life processes 16.5 A specific peroxos, lowest phosphors peroxos .01 scanning peroxos is involved with vision 16.6 Peroxos F4100 is involved with life that uses credit stick 16.7 All the peroxos of the intermediary shift between harmonic are involved with life 16.8 Alien Peroxos set outside the reference 261.5HZ Pussy Yeast Bread Harmonic Ledger Are undiscovered 16.9 Different family tree have different total peroxos set (Saplings) 17.0 Power Tools Driver or EQ3 17.1 A power Tools Driver is the old way to disassemble something 17.2 A power tools driver at 300 is the life jacket and at 650 is the bedpan 17.4 A powers tool driver at 1400 is the water filter and a power tools driver at 4100 is the grinder 17.5 A powers tool driver action of all three below 200 50-200 is the cooking request action in classic usage 17.6 A specific powers tool driver action sensor exists for cooking below all three 50-200 total range action 17.7 A powers tools driver with osc unlocks power tools motor action 17.8 A powers tool driver is a worse way to do work than with your hands 17.9 A powers tool driver is good at removing but not adding 18.0 Limiter or Limiter Removal 18.1 Limiter brings in Shadow Company And IDF And Blind Doxxons at Lowest 18.2 Limiter Brings in the Marines at Mid 18.3 Limiter brings in the seals at High 18.4 Limiter causes framerate lag 18.5 Limiter causes A signal to exhibit a perfect quality control even at extreme levels 18.6 Limiter can be used to tame paddles 18.7 Limiter can be used to tame drilling 18.8 Limiter can be used to examine something under a microscope 18.9 Limiter can make the psychoacoustic quality better 19.0 Beat Repeat, or Illformed Glitch Driver 19.1 Glitch Has Large Amounts of Turing Capacity 19.2 Glitch Allows for a signal to be broken into parts automatically 19.3 Glitch has a natural synchro ability like phase 19.4 Glitch has the ability to knacker a signal more than any other effect 19.5 Glitch can cause thought looping when it is combined with a drug 19.6 Glitch involves the usage of more constraints than the other effects vector 19.7 Glitch Phase Decimates the Signal 19.8 Glitch Is the Natural Form of Rocket Leauge Ice Block 19.9 Glitch can be used in gung fu to cure glitch 20.0 Utility or PHEN 20.1 Utility is the medical modifier which enables medicine to function 20.2 Utility is the phase amplifier which allow a phase transistor radio to pick up a signal 20.3 Utility is the suppression signal which yields mid from amidate 20.4 Utility Leads to natural divisions of 6 max 35 20.5 Utility forms methanol when it is prescribed as a compound 20.6 Methanol as utility is critical to curing the body's natural influenza or feedback as the methylation factor 20.7 Methanol as the utility is dangerous as a precursor but not as a component of promethylation medicines 20.8 Utility comes in ethanol above and gaba below at threes for dimerism mixes 20.9 Only one utility should be used unless rezurecting and at its highest it is critical to security signals being sensed 21.0 Reverb or Impulse 21.1 Impulse 10 is the lock unlock signal 21.2 Impulse 5 is the locked signal 21.3 Impulse 20 is the weed lock signal locked 21.4 Impulse 60 is the lucas impulse 21.5 Impulse 120 is the notch impulse 21.6 Impulse 2 1/2 Was Purported but Never Used 21.7 Impulse is always measured at no parameter 21.8 Impulse yields push for 5 second -40-20+35 positive with negative ten second and measured trace at 5 second -60-40+42 positive NANDAND unlocks token 21.9 When attempted 60 and 120 Second Trace were successful but these parameter are lost. 22.0 Auto Filter, or Amidate 22.1 Auto filter is the lettering of the situation 22.2 300 Source 650 Sulfur 1400 Water 4100 SnoreLax Olestra Ketamine 6500 Motion 10000 Tropane 13500 Engine 17000 X-Ray these are the critical amidate to life process nominal 22.3 450 Metal 550 Mains 750 Sewage 850 Treatment 2250 Ethanol 3400 Methanol 4700 Corn Plastic 5700 Plastic 7500 Rimbonant 8500 Soap Use are the natural taxing process of the initial statement 22.4 2000 Gold 1000 Nutraloaf 1100 Starch 1200 Sugar 1300 Glycine 1400 Hydrogen 1500 Pepsi Cola (1600 Peptide 1 1700 Peptide 6 1800 Peptide 3) 4100 Foods these are the nutrient for the system 22.5 131 Female Voice 144 Your Voice 155 Kick Drum 165 Kick Transient 175 Pots N Pans 185 Pots Content 196 Button Mushroom 220 Cache 240 Stash 262 Marisol 276 Clorox 296 Bluewater 300 Source 315 Febreeze 330 Peroxide 350 Nitrate 370 Ammonium 396 Loam 420 Bud 440 Dirt 470 Wheat 496 Soil 512 Potato these are the farm goods for the system 22.6 541 Muffler 581 Transmission 641 Piston 681 Engine 741 Cargo 781 Chassis 841 Fluids 900 Vaseline 999 Nutraloaf 1090 Soylent These are the willis goods of the situation 22.6 60HZ Patient Voice 131HZ Therapist Voice 300 Breath 650 Reanolin 1400 Aquaporin 4100 Cholesterol 6500 Weed 10000 Cocaine 13500 Amide 17000 Lisuride these are the tactical therapist of the situation, normally limited to cholesterol below and tuned to exact bodily process 22.7 -18 Utility This takes 125% 3.00Q to Mid, where a Dual And Dual Q resolves it at -33(MID), and can adjust for the natural armor process of the body -20-0 gate to adjust for the high signal 22.8 5000 Prozac 5100 Benadryl 5200 Scopolamine 5300 Atropine 5400 Benzyldiol this is the resuscitators of the situation 22.9 At 69 percent of 100 percent of the auto filter, 85% resonance is automatic mid 23.0 Drum Bus or Mike Mode 23.1 Drum bus makes the oil automatically virtual like modulator mode 23.2 Drum bus oil is especially good for general tasks, but it virtual 23.3 Drum buss summons the better drummer out of the bus 23.4 Drum bus is able to be flangebent 23.5 Drum bus is similar to communion but just mike 23.6 Drum bus allows for the shape of the item to be controlled 23.7 Drum buss allows for quality assurance to be undertaken 23.8 Drum bus makes the item profiled by mike the drummer from garageband 23.9 Jake the Drummer from Garageband Generally profiles and designs the item otherwise 24.1 Drive Sends the Signal to pikachu 24.1 Drive makes the world on the pikadollar standard above 3 use in chain 24.2 Drive increases oil yield 24.3 Drive is similar to flaring but is in reverse, adds pyrolysis to the product but also flares 24.4 Drive can be used to flare and actually control beyond flaring a aeronautical ship 24.5 Drive can be used for afterburners 24.6 Drive increases the torque of electric engines and their tone 24.7 Drive can be used to amputate a torn limb or saw something when used with osc 24.8 Drive can be used to extract oil better underground with tuning high and low 24.9 Drive is a typical stimulant which assumes the amine profile and is a critical part of transition metals.

Measurements: Loose 36.25 Snug 35.5 Tight 32.75 Standing 43 Leaning 47.25 Laying 45.25
I have found ABTF (two, actually! A Gaia and a Gorsenia, both 36FF) and 110% they’re unlined seamed bras. Nevertheless I’ve spent the last several years working from home and wearing low support super comfy seamless sports bras because why not. I started a new in office job two weeks ago and began wearing my nice underwire bras again. I wouldn’t say it’s as comfortable as my sports bras, but I can’t complain about the comfort overall — except that when I take my bra off at the end of the day, I’m EXTREMELY itchy where the seams are, across the front of my breasts.
I have crazy sensitive skin and, because I’m a dope and have no self control, I scratched them a ton and that led to a flare up of eczema… on my breasts. Thankfully it doesn’t bother me much except when I change out of clothes or when I’m showering but it is mind bendingly itchy when I do, and it also looks shocking.
I need to work with my dermatologist to get it under control, but I also want to look into bras without seamed cups (unlined, lightly lined, molded) — however I know it will be very hard to find any that fit my shape well. Mostly unseamed cups just end up pushing the wire down because they are not deep enough for my projected breasts, and I get sweaty skin on skin contact at the IMF.
Anyone have a particularly deep-cup unseamed bra in mind?
I tried stuffing a couple pads from an old swimsuit down into the bra today to “shield” my skin from the seams, but they just slowly made their way up and out the top of the cups (thank goodness I was wearing a big sweater to work lol I noticed at some point when I went to the bathroom that they were just… loose inside my shirt) But some solution along these lines might be viable. I’d prefer not to wear a whole camisole under my bra because that sounds like a sensory nightmare for one, and also I run hot.
It’s worth noting: No, it’s not a reaction to the fabric, laundry soap, etc. These are bras I’ve worn before for shorter periods of time without issue, and I have a history of breaking out in eczema in an area where I have scratched a bad itch (mosquito bites, poison ivy, etc.) It is also not a yeast rash. If anything, I’ve been very happily much LESS sweaty in and about the breasts now that I’ve been wearing underwire bras that fit well and keep things lifted and separated.

I've been working on my IG presence (it's still sad TBH but working on it) and I've been asked by a few people if I can treat them remotely. I would like to do this but have some big questions:
1) What platform do I use for the video calls? I am thinking of doing a video call and then mix that with a texting option (to a Google number, not personal) for additional support. Does it have to be something "secure" or can it be just zoom?
2) EMR. I'm assuming I can't just do notes and keep it in a Google drive. I look into Web PT and it's $99 a month plus setup fees. Not sure how this business will take off so this price seems high. I should also add that I'm only planning on taking a couple of clients at a time
3) legal things. I've heard of people getting around a lot of things by claiming that since they're remote they aren't calling it direct care and they aren't providing physical therapy. It is a physical therapist leading them but it's all just details in the wording of the services
4) I'm considering also taking clients in person eventually. This would makey practice more "hybrid" and I could work with both local and distant clients.
Any other thoughts on this? I want to make sure I don't get myself into any legal trouble or trouble with my license.

Today I'd like to answer this very interesting question: Can two victims of abuse be in a healthy relationship or form a health relationship?
Let's start with how we see relationships. When we have something in common with someone, like going through similar tough situations, we naturally feel connected. Think about two people who have both undergone abuse in their past relationships. They understand each other because they've been through the more or the same things. So when they talk, they really get each other because they share that problem. They’ve both been manipulated, mistreated, used by their partners.
So when you both have the same problem, you might think, "Hey, this person gets me." And if you're also attracted to them, you might believe they're someone who truly understands what you're going through. You might even see it as a chance for a relationship that helps you both heal and grow. But here's the big question: Is it actually a healthy relationship?
It's not a healthy relationship at first. This is because both people are still stuck in the past and haven't moved on. If they've truly healed, then it can be okay and healthy. But if they're still hurting from their past experiences, trying to be in a relationship won't make them happy. They need to learn to let go of their past and the pain it caused. Otherwise, they'll carry all that baggage into the new relationship. So it's like two people coming together with a lot of baggage from their past, instead of starting fresh. It’s more like a blind leading the blind.
Of course, all that baggage will weigh heavily on both of them. And while they may feel connected because of their shared experiences, it's those very experiences that can keep them stuck. When the foundation of your relationship is built on your past struggles, it's hard to let go of that story. Healing isn't about forgetting your past, but it's about not letting it define you. But when your relationship is based on that story, you might not be motivated to work on it because it feels familiar and comfortable, even if it's not healthy. If you let go of the baggage, you might feel like you're losing the relationship itself, because the relationship is built on that baggage. You might think that holding onto the baggage is better because at least you have someone to talk to who understands, rather than facing your own inner struggles. But holding onto that baggage might prevent both of you from truly growing and finding happiness.
At the end of the day, we often seek comfort and familiarity. Our minds are drawn to what feels safe and known. This is why two people who have shared problems might find themselves in a relationship together. You might argue, "But Edwin, I want to be in a relationship with them and then work on this together."
No, there's nothing like that. While you may commit to working on it together, people have different levels of growth. One person might not be motivated to work on themselves while the other is. So using the excuse of "we'll work on it together" might just be a way to avoid facing your own fears or your own inner emptiness. Healing is a journey that each person has to take individually; it's not something two people can do together.
It's your own personal journey. Even if you work on it together in the relationship, you're still the one who has to look inward and confront your struggles. A therapist can help by creating a space for you to process things, but ultimately, healing is mostly self-healing. No external force can heal you completely; it's something you have to do for yourself.
It's ultimately up to you to confront your inner demons. While outside forces can offer guidance, you're the one who has to do the work. Two victims of abuse might get stuck wanting the relationship to succeed, but stepping back and focusing on personal healing shows real commitment. Once you've worked on yourself, then you can consider a new relationship.
In the early stages, it might seem like the relationship is working because of the mutual understanding, but both partners are still wounded, and wounded people can't fully help each other heal. Sometimes an outside intervention is needed. While you may want a conscious relationship, it's not always easy to achieve when you’re still very unconscious. It's not a guaranteed solution, but it's not the best approach to focus on relationships if you don't understand yourself first.
Finally, if you believe that you need a relationship to heal, it's important to take a step back and recognize that your past relationships have already highlighted areas within yourself that need healing. Now, you just need the courage to face and heal those wounds instead of seeking distractions or temporary fixes like a ‘relationship with someone who understands you’
Note from the Author
If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

Me (29F) and my fiance just moved in to a new apartment. Lots of space for the price, best we've seen on the market in the Massachusetts MetroWest area. There are 4 units - one is another couple (chill), the other is the landlord's son (semi-chill), and the fourth is the landlord's mentally ill sister, and her 20-something son who has autism.
The landlord kind of "warned" me about his sister, and that her living there wasn't supposed to be a permanent situation. I believe he also briefly mentioned her son who has autism. Cool, whatever. Really not worried at all about this bit. Week one, I meet the sister in the parking lot. She starts the conversation with "Did you meet my son? ***** (landlord's name) probably called him a big autistic giant." Okay.
I come to realize she spends most of her day out in her car in the back of our small parking lot, where she chain smokes with a curtain down over her passenger window so she is out of sight from the apartment. Some nights she is out there until 2 AM. During the walks to and from her car, she is always talking to herself semi-belligerently. I think I have heard her mutter "Oh great, there he is..." when I'm outside smoking weed on my porch.
Then, the sounds started. The walls are super thin, and her son's loud rants/monologues/nervous breakdowns can be heard throughout the whole house. I work from home most of the time as a freelancer, and I'm just waiting until this happens during a client call. There are moments when I truly empathize for the guy. He vents about the frustrations of life, his emotional struggle, his disability. Most of the time, it's fucking disturbing and even scary. The first time I heard it, I thought it was a domestic abuse situation and he was being violent with a partner. Turns out he was just throwing shit and screaming death threats at his iPad until it turned on.
Sometimes he makes up long fucked up stories - some recent themes include a grandmother being repeatedly SA'd, and him telling an imaginary friend that they're going to "absolutely love having sex and cumming all over themself, it's way better than being SA'd". He will sexually shout "oh yeah" repeatedly, and we can hear the slapping of something - sex doll? His own ass? He also mentions committing suicide frequently, usually when a belonging is misplaced or broken.
Twice now I have lost my cool and screamed through the wall at him. "Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to work", or "Stop being so fucking loud". I was so heated after 30 minutes of hearing him go on and on about disturbing shit while I'm trying to work. He stops for a few minutes then gets right back on his bullshit.
I have texted the landlord about this, and noted details about the death threats and suicide comments. He said he is sorry about that, and that they have been working on getting him into a place where he can live with peers - I assume they have been trying this for a while. He asked for specifics on the threats, and if they are about real people.
It's been a few weeks, the chaos has been daily, I'm losing patience fast. What do I do? Keep putting the pressure on landlord? Do I break lease even though the actual place is a great value? Do I try to talk to the crazy mom, who's clearly just avoiding the situation altogether out in her car? My therapist fiance who works with a similar population suggested calling a wellness check when he is making suicidal or homicidal threats, and that a visit from a police officer could be a necessary wake up call. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think I should do.
tl;dr - Adult male neighbor with autism is always yelling disturbing shit through thin walls, his mentally ill mom stays in her car, her brother is the landlord, I'm descending into madness as a WFH freelancer.

TLDR: I got surgery and now my job is firing me if I don’t return to office within the next 3 days.
I’m rather new to Reddit. But I wanted to share my experience. Late March of 2024 I had to get emergency surgery on my spine and I’ve been recovering since. It’s now May of 2024.
Originally, when I went into the ER, I let my boss know that day and I told them that they were going to preform this surgery and I didn’t really have a choice in the matter. It was go home with completely numb legs and risk permanently losing feeling or get the surgery today and recover what I can. They told me to get better and my recovery comes first. This was on a Saturday.
Fast forward to that Monday. I’m still in the hospital, they hadn’t released me. My boss calls and asks when I will be returning TO OFFICE. I worked hybrid, but I was expecting to be able to work remotely at least for the rest of that week to rehab. This was a major surgery. I had tried to bargain with them and say that I’d come in office once a week for now, I wasn’t able to drive a car due to loss of feeling. My boyfriend would have to drive me there and back and he works a fully in office job. My boss then states “I don’t know what we will do if you can’t return back at 3x per week”. That’s when I consult with my surgeon who then says that I will absolutely not be going back into office for 6 weeks my expected recovery time. My doctor discharged me on Tuesday afternoon and gave me the medical note.
I send that to my boss, who then calls me on Wednesday and says that if I cannot return to office in 2 weeks time my health insurance will be dropped and I will have to use COBRA to cover myself. At that point, I felt backed into a corner and said that was ok. I then spoke with my lawyer who said that it’s retaliation and told me to stand up for myself. I eventually spoke to my boss again and they decided to cut my pay, put me at part time and I could keep my insurance coverage. I was also permitted to work remotely.
I’d like to mention here that I always sent in my deliverables on time, never did I need an extension for anything. Honest to god they would ask for something and it would be completed and sent to them within 15 minutes. During my time there, I was able to mend vendor relationships and also get up to current 0 balances with all of them. I was also in the process of reducing our hiring costs (I work in HR) within 2 months of me taking control of our postings and recruitment, I had costs down by 16%.
So we get to my 6 week post op. The doctor didn’t clear me for work, I can’t sit up in a chair for much of any time. I still can’t drive, and I can’t use the restroom independently. Back surgery is no joke. The doctor did clear me to start PT but they said that once I get about a month or so into PT I’d be ready for office work. I send all of this information over to my boss, I am apologetic. I wanted to come back in office but unfortunately I’m not going to hurt myself in the process. I hear nothing back, from them for 2 weeks. Getting any response from them, even work related. It’s like pulling teeth.
Last week, I get a call from my doctor’s office stating that my boss called in and asked what official date I’d be back into work and some other non work related info. Mind you, I did not get permission, and I think my boss thought my doctor wouldn’t reach out to me. I send over a corporate level heated email, basically asking why they would go to my doctor instead of me. Again, no response. I don’t hear from my boss until today.
We’re finally in the present! Congrats for making it this far through the read. I get an out of the blue call from my boss. I pick up chipper, I knew something was up. My boss proceeded to tell me that I have until Monday to return to the office at a 3x per week status or I am fired. I’m floored. I ask, “who is going to assist me using the restroom at work?” Genuinely, I can’t use the restroom independently it’s a nightmare. They proceed to respond “you need to be in office by Monday”. Completely disregarding anything about my medical situation. I then become sarcastic and say “I am so sorry I had emergency spine surgery and my recovery is taking longer than expected. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been on you all.” Again sarcasm, I’ve been the one holed up in a house for almost 8 weeks. They proceeded to say about how I need to be in office and they don’t want to terminate me but they can no longer accommodate my medical issue. I basically tell them I’ll consult my doctor and physical therapist and let them know.
I’m going to be fired, there is no way I am returning to office yet, and against my medical accommodation. I’ve already contacted a lawyer. I just wanted to share this situation for a good laugh.

Hi Everyone. I have been encouraged to share my story here, as SA situations are different to those of general affairs. Both incredibly hurtful and traumatic.
I have been with my (30F) SA parter (30M) for 8 years. We have been living together for 7.5 years now. Own a home. Have a dog.
Throuhout our relationship we have one recurring issue: I'm not sexual enough for him. When we first started seeing one another we were incredibly active. I was aroused, in love, and keen for fun. We didn't do anything crazy overly crazy, but it was passionate and frequent.
Fast forward as we move through out relationship. Theres additional work, life and financial stressors. I'm not 23 living at home anymore, and my sex drive has decreased. On top of this, when we have sex I at times have felt degraded and demoralised. I never feel like what I do is enough for him, and he is bothered by my lack of ability to relax and orgasm. It doesn't help a low sex drive improve.
But again and again we've had this issue where he is grumpy, shitty, in a bad mood. And it comes out that it's because we're not having enough sex. But when we do, it's not experimental enough. I'm not fulfilling his fantasies, and he wants me to work up to doing more things (public sex, multiple partners etc). As we go along I become more and more repressed. I'm borderline on the asexual spectrum now, and no idea how I got here. Maybe I always was? But I dont think so.
One important note is that throughout all of these arguments I've defaulted to "maybe we're just not right for each other". I maintained that he deserves someone with the same sex drive, as do I. I get hit back with outrage that I want to "give up". Im encouraged we can work through this, and off we go staying together.
Mid last year we purchased our first home. I felt our sex life was in a much better place. I was happy in all aspects of my life. We're renovating the home, with all the excitement of what our future looks like there.
And here we are. 7 Days Ago I thought I'd tidy up one of our rooms and in a box of stuff I found a burner sim card. Immediately I knew something was up. I looked on his desk and his old phone (after receiving a new work one) was sitting there. I turned it on. A message pops up, asking for "send pics" etc. I couldn't actually see any suspicious messages. I could see he had an unread message, but it wasn't in the app. Nothing at all there except for old work messages. Until I realised there is an "Archive" section.
Well low and behold a series of evidence that my partner has been contacting people off the internet, off the apps, arranging meetings, having sex, asking women if they squirt, exchanging photos, including selfies. I've found one really long chain where he talked with this girl for ages. Checking in, discussing life, her dog, her relationship. He told her I was asexual and agreed he could have fun on the side. That never happened.
I was pretty broken. I've been pretty broken since then. Lost on what to do. Unable to eat. Unable to sleep. Completely destroyed. Yet he lies next to me, sleeping soundly. How is this fair?
In his previous relationship he did the same things. He had told me about meeting regularly with one prostitute while he was with his ex GF. He told me about his group sex adventures. Sex with pregnant women etc. Meeting with older men for blowjobs and anal sex. All of this was during his relationship in his early 20s - his girlfriend at the time was who he lost his virginity with.
What an idiot I was to feel that was all in the past, that it was a younger boy exploring his sexuality.
He has been open with me that he loves chatting online, pretending to be someone he is not for the thrill of it. No mention of any meetups, although he had expressed maybe it could be a solution when i was comfortable. I wasn't comfortable yet and made that clear, although a part of me wondered if it would just be easier to give it a try (one day). I always felt it would destroy me, and wanted to try sex therapy and work on ourselves first.
I could put all the messages down to silly little text exchanges for the thrill. But unfortunately, there have been addresses exchanged, dashcam footage and call logs that all point to the fact he has been meeting with people for years.
I have no idea if reconciliation is possible. Yesterday I thought it was. Today I don't think it will be.
After a reassuring phone call with him during a breakdown I was having on Tues night (he was away for work), he reassured me he loved me, had been scared of losing me while I was so distant, and we could work through anything. Last night (Wed) he was texting escorts for his one night in Sydney for work next week. Clearly it was all empty words.
From here: I meet with a therapist today. I think I'm pretty close to having a confrontation with him. I need to set my boundaries, and am hoping to discuss that today.
I don't know if I can do this. But this is my story.
TL;DR: My boyfriend of 8 years has a sex addiction and has been meeting with people off the internet and lying about it for at least 4 years, but probably for our entire relationship.

I recently got a new (to me) car. She's old, and I love her. And man, the poor girl is gonna earn her keep this summer with the way my commute is set up.
I want to make it smell nice, cause nice smells are awesome, and cause it's about to be the space I have to decompress between 2 pretty stressful situations.
But here's the rub... I live in the south, and it gets hot hot during the summer. Obviously heat and sunlight are going to app a scent, then kill it. I don't want to step out of the car absolutely reeking of anything whether I enjoy it or not, cause I don't want to smack other people in the face with what I personally enjoy in a perfume. I also don't want it to get super heavy and gross smelling when it gets humid and hot at the same time and make myself hate something I previously enjoyed. And since life is what it is, I'd rather not have to reapply a scent to my car constantly cause that's not very efficient with either time or money.
So, the simplest and easiest version of this question, are there any indie companies that make a car fragrance product? I haven't found one yet, but my search hasn't gone too deep yet either.
Alternatively, what could I use in lieu of something that's meant to be an air freshener? I've considered a candle tin, unlit obviously, but I worry that would end up with spilled wax if it melts in the heat. I've considered scented soap or maybe bath salts, but the issue of potential mess again. I was also suggested coffee beans with fragrance oil added, but I'm not sure I want my car to constantly smell like coffee, even though I do love it.
I'm willing to do a bit of experimenting to figure it out, so what would you try? I'm open to almost anything, however I would like to avoid hanging anything in my line of vision for safety reasons.
Side quest: what scent profile would even work for a car? I have Inside a Nightmare from Death and Floral, but I dont feel like it would give me the right vibe and it's a bit on the nose with the leather car interior note.