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Fortnite Battle Royale Subreddit - Discuss FortniteBR by EPIC Games
2017.09.23 12:47 Mirrankid Fortnite Battle Royale Subreddit - Discuss FortniteBR by EPIC Games
Fortnite Battle Royale subreddit. Discuss FortniteBR.
2024.05.15 16:02 nisargpatel1504 đŹ Check Out My Simple Go-Based Messaging System Library!
Hey
golang,
I've built a lightweight messaging system library in Go, inspired by Kafka but simpler and more Go-idiomatic. It supports topic-based messaging with producers and consumers, and is thread-safe for concurrent use.
Features:
- Topic-Based Messaging
- Producers and Consumers
- Concurrency Support
- Thread-Safe
package main
import (
"fmt"
"time"
"github.com/yourusername/messaging"
)
func main() {
broker := messaging.NewBroker()
producer := messaging.NewProducer(broker)
consumer := messaging.NewConsumer(broker, "topic1")
go consumer.Start(func(msg string) {
fmt.Println("Received:", msg)
})
producer.SendMessage("topic1", "Hello, Go!")
time.Sleep(1 * time.Second)
}
Looking for Feedback:
I'd love your thoughts on code quality, additional features, and any other suggestions you have.
Thanks, and happy coding! đ
submitted by
nisargpatel1504 to
golang [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 16:01 PetrZitskiy GTA Online Heist Strategies and Payouts
| [ GTA Online Heist Strategies and Payouts ] Heists in GTA Online are some of the most thrilling and lucrative missions you can undertake. These multi-part missions require meticulous planning, coordination, and execution. In this article, weâll explore strategies for each heist and provide an overview of their payouts, helping you maximize your success and earnings in the world of Los Santos. 1. The Fleeca Job Overview - Players: 2
- Setup Cost: $11,500
- Potential Payout: $143,750 (Normal), $172,500 (Hard)
Strategy - Setup Missions: There are two setup missions: Scope Out and Kuruma. During Scope Out, one player drives while the other hacks. In Kuruma, steal the armored Kuruma car from a parking garage.
- Finale: One player drills into the vault while the other controls the crowd and drives. Communication is key to ensure the driller focuses while the driver handles the rest.
2. The Prison Break Overview - Players: 4
- Setup Cost: $40,000
- Potential Payout: $400,000 (Normal), $500,000 (Hard)
Strategy - Setup Missions: Complete various tasks like acquiring a plane, getting a bus, taking out a local business, and recovering an inmate. Assign roles based on playersâ strengths.
- Finale: Split into teams: two as prisoners and guards, one pilot, and one demolitions expert. The prisoners and guards infiltrate the prison, while the pilot and demolitions expert handle external threats.
3. The Humane Labs Raid Overview - Players: 4
- Setup Cost: $54,000
- Potential Payout: $540,000 (Normal), $675,000 (Hard)
Strategy - Setup Missions: Tasks include getting an EMP, stealing a Valkyrie helicopter, and collecting a key code. Coordination is crucial, especially for the stealth mission.
- Finale: Split into teams: ground team and chopper team. The ground team infiltrates the lab to retrieve data, while the chopper team provides air support. Use stealth tactics to minimize resistance.
4. Series A Funding Overview - Players: 4
- Setup Cost: $40,400
- Potential Payout: $404,000 (Normal), $505,000 (Hard)
Strategy - Setup Missions: Tasks include stealing drugs from rival gangs, intercepting a drug deal, and securing a weed farm. Efficiently splitting tasks among players is key.
- Finale: Defend a truck filled with drugs as it travels to the drop-off point. Coordination between drivers and shooters is essential to fend off enemies and ensure safe delivery.
5. The Pacific Standard Job Overview - Players: 4
- Setup Cost: $100,000
- Potential Payout: $1,000,000 (Normal), $1,250,000 (Hard)
Strategy - Setup Missions: Includes stealing bikes, hacking equipment, and robbing a convoy. Assign tasks based on playersâ strengths and ensure efficient communication.
- Finale: Split into teams: crowd control, hackers, and money carriers. Crowd control keeps civilians in check, hackers disable alarms, and money carriers handle the cash. Plan an escape route using bikes for a quick getaway.
6. The Diamond Casino Heist Overview - Players: 2-4
- Setup Cost: Variable
- Potential Payout: Up to $3,619,000 (depending on target and difficulty)
Strategy - Approaches: Choose from three approaches â Silent & Sneaky, The Big Con, or Aggressive. Each approach has unique missions and tactics.
- Setup Missions: Include gathering intel, acquiring disguises, and getting vehicles. Plan based on the chosen approach and ensure all players know their roles.
- Finale: Execute the heist based on the chosen approach. Communication and role adherence are critical, especially for stealth or deception-based approaches.
7. The Cayo Perico Heist Overview - Players: 1-4 (Can be done solo)
- Setup Cost: $25,000
- Potential Payout: Up to $4,570,600 (depending on primary and secondary targets)
Strategy - Intel Gathering: Scout the island to gather intel on the target, security measures, and entry/exit points.
- Approaches: Choose your entry and exit points, along with the time of day. Plan whether to go in stealthily or guns blazing.
- Finale: Execute the heist using the gathered intel. Solo players should focus on stealth, while groups can coordinate for a mix of stealth and aggression.
Maximizing Payouts - Difficulty Level: Playing on Hard mode increases the payout but also the challenge.
- Elite Challenges: Completing elite challenges (e.g., finishing within a certain time, avoiding deaths) can earn additional cash and RP.
- First Time Bonuses: Completing a heist for the first time often comes with bonus payouts.
- Loyalty and Criminal Mastermind Bonuses: Completing all heists with the same team or without dying can earn substantial bonuses.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Mastering GTA Online heists requires strategy, coordination, and practice. By understanding each heist's specific requirements and employing effective strategies, you can maximize your earnings and enjoy one of the most thrilling aspects of GTA Online. Gather your crew, plan meticulously, and execute flawlessly to become a heist mastermind in Los Santos. Happy heisting! submitted by PetrZitskiy to BestCryptoCasinosUS [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 16:00 mathi1651 How can I 27M show my soon to be wife 27F that I know what I'm doing during sex?
Hey hivemind!
I could need a little help of y'all, me and my girlfriend for 10y used to have a really high sex drive in the first time of the relationship(6 times a day) This went down after a few years to 2 to 2-3 times a week but after a job change and really stressful years it dropped to max once a year. Which is totally fine for me because I know she don't really needs it to be happy.
Sadly we often fool around and it sometimes ends because she is turned of by how horny I get when I touch here and almost always because apparently I don't seem to know how to turn her on and try too many different things causing her to think too much and block of.
Now to the current situation: I have my birthday coming up on Thursday and last night we were fooling around saying we meet up for sex in the evening (shaved etc). How can I show her that I'm not too insecure and know what I'm doing to make her feel good? We are currently building a home and often argue and I know she could really need an confirmation that love isn't dead ATM and I care for her :)
Also it is probably good to know that there is a wildly variable list of things that turn her on: one day she likes to be taken and thrown on the bed another she wants it slow kiss and romantic..
Thank you all for taking your time and I wish you a pleasant day :)
submitted by
mathi1651 to
relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 15:59 Alexander-305 "Happy Birthday to @kweenzy_, @cassiebassey, and @TradeWithThanos! đđ"
@kweenzy_ @cassiebassey @TradeWithThanos Happy Birthday to you!đ #BTC #ETH #DOGE
submitted by
Alexander-305 to
FairdeskCrypto [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 15:58 septentriones91 Whatâs; your opinion about 58âs inspired by Gibson Custom Vâs ? Maybe someone have it, and can tell how it feels ?
| Iâm now deciding what guitar I want as a present for my own birthday, of course Iâm looking to the sides of Gibsons ( like 2000ish Les Paulâs ), but If Iâll have not enough money, Iâll really happy to buy those new, high-end epiâs, cause! firstly I was planning to go for Adam Jones 1979 Custom, but now Iâm in doubt) submitted by septentriones91 to Epiphone [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 15:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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submitted by
shaneka69 to
mytarotreadings [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 15:48 karenvideoeditor The Zoo - [Part 2]
Previous
So, if youâre just joining us, I work at a haunted zoo now. Since Iâve gotten some rest, it feels like Iâve got my head on straight, at least, so Iâd like to continue where I left off.
I sat on the floor in the office after meeting the ghost until Iâd settled my rattled mind (and realized Iâd forgotten to ask her name, how rude is that?). I took a deep breath and got up off the floor. Walking over and falling into the rolling chair in front of the large screen of camera views, when I brought up the camera that covered the area in which Iâd spotted her, she was still there, and it seemed she hadnât moved an inch.
Sitting there, at a loss, I continued to watch her. The ghost hung around for another five minutes or so, appearing to look at a few things off-screen, though Iâm not sure what. Then she walked off into the forest and left the view of the cameras. I wasnât sure if she vanished into the ether or if sheâd gone looking into the trees to look for something.
But that wasnât the end of the job interview, so let me jump back there. It continued into what kind of animals the zoo had, with Andrew asking me how much experience I had with dangerous animals.
I took a moment to consider the question. âSo, ahâŠIâve been going hunting and fishing with a neighbor since I was sixteen,â I told him. âWe always have to keep an eye out for gators, bears, and hogs. Then thereâs snakes, of courseâŠsnapping turtles⊠Since Iâve lived here my whole life and been aiming for a job with wildlife for a long time, I know a lot about the animals in Arkansas in general. But good advice for all of the above is avoid them, so Iâve had
encounters, but I donât know if youâd say I have
experience with them.â
âThatâs fine,â Andrew said, nodding. âThatâs an answer Iâm satisfied with. Now, the ghost was the appetizer, Ripley; hereâs the main course. To start with, the pay isnât twenty-five an hour. Itâs fifty.â
Staring in shock for a moment, I asked, âAre you serious?â
âYeah. But thatâd be weird to post online considering what applicants think we need, so I halved it.â
âThatâs⊠Okay, why?â
âThe animals are already here. You just canât see them.â
I stared at him for a long moment, some disbelief worming its way into my expression, before saying, âSorry, what?â
âThereâs a chance youâd naturally never see them, or at least some of them,â he continued casually. âIt depends on both your genetics and how long you stay on the job. I can naturally see six of them, but thatâs it. Suzanne can see all of them, and more. Some are what people would label demons or ghosts. Or magic. Mostly youâd call them cryptids. The ghost was just a warm-up; I mentioned her first because it never takes more than a week to see her if you work the night shift. If you manage to handle her okay, soon youâll be able to see the animals too. The more time you spend on the grounds, for weird reasons,â he said, wiggling his fingers in the direction of the back door, âthe more youâll be able to see.â
âSo, thisâŠthis is a zoo for cryptids,â I echoed slowly. He nodded once, waiting to find out what kind of reaction I would have. I gestured vaguely around the room. âIf this is a hidden camera show, will you cut me a check for showing up and participating?â
Andrew coughed out a chuckle and shook his head. âNo joke. There are a ton of stories out there that have been written to death, pulverized until theyâre not the Grimm stories of old and instead theyâre Disney films. A lot of those stories come from what some humans have seen. There are dozens of other worlds pressed up against ours, and occasionally things come through by accident. If theyâre smart, theyâll lay low and then make their way back when they can. If not, they become local folklore until someone helps them back. Iâm just from London, but Suzanne is from somewhere else. She hires people like us for this zoo. Humans.â
Sighing, I shook my head. âThat makes no sense. Why would she hire a muggle for a magic zoo?â
Andrew burst out laughing at that, and then waited to gather himself before he continued. âFair point, but this is less about magic and more about animals, and youâre missing some information that will explain it. First of all, if I misjudge an employee, and they think they can make bank by outing the endangered and valuable animals we have, itâs easy to relocate the zoo.â
âBecause magic?â I asked.
âExactly,â he replied, ignoring the thread of skepticism in my tone. âThat means it isnât the end of the world if that happened, though it is a pain in the arse. But secondâŠlet me ask you a question. Speaking of reality shows, say the Discovery Channel put out a call to replace Steve Irwin when he passed. Imagine they had a line out the door,â he said with a gesture, âof people who thought they had the skill and natural talent to replace him, to take on everything heâd been doing his whole life. How many do you reckon would lose an arm, a leg, or their life, by the end of the day?â
My lips parted in surprise and I narrowed my eyes at him. âYouâre saying people fromâŠwhereverâŠtheyâre just as dumb as humans, but theyâre worse, because they actually think they can handle these things.â
Andrew pointed the pen at me. â
Things. Exactly. You called them things. Suzanne and her friends grew up with them and would call them animals. These animals have dispositions and temperaments that weâve studied for as long as there have been scientists. Where Suzanneâs from, they know the weaknesses of these animals, and also theyâre in enclosures here, even if you and I canât see the walls because theyâre invisible things called âwardsâ. If I hire someone whoâs got magic on top of all that, theyâll have almost no instinctive fear.
âEverything here is nocturnal, and every one of them is a hunter. Some of these things? Humans see them and they pass out. Not that I want you passing out, but I need someone who is scared of these things, who knows to stay out of the enclosures no matter what. Not someone who thinks they can train them to do tricks, who gets close enough for them to grab a mouthful of hair and drown them. Once, we had a night shift manager injured, and once killed, because they didnât take these animals seriously enough.â
Thinking back to the Sea World orca incident I knew heâd been referencing, I remembered wondering how someone at that level of her profession could be so careless as I watched the video on YouTube. It made sense when he explained it like that. I hesitated before mentally throwing my hands up and going all in. âSo, why put this place here, then? If theyâre endangered and also dangerous, why have a zoo at all instead of just a small reserve?â
He pursed his lips, looking disappointed in me. âRipley. You know that already. You already said as much.â
Thinking back through our conversation, I said, âThe rich humans who pay top dollar to see supernatural animals.â
âNot humans,â he told me. âBut people, yes, and they are rich, and theyâre making donations and spending their money on a ticket here because everything we have is endangered.â
âSoâŠâ
I just let my voice trail off and my mind started to drift. Andrew remained silent, letting me do so. Thereâs that thing people say, âI believe that you believe it,â which is just a kinder way of saying, âBullshit.â Parents say it about closet monsters. Psychologists say it to people who say theyâve been abducted and probed by aliens. I wanted to say it to Andrew.
But I also wanted a job. If it meant working overnight at an empty zoo, that was fine. When it came down to it, especially when I took the tone of our conversation into account, this was a zoo specifically focused on preserving endangered âanimalsâ, and it was allegedly doing important work. Also, if this turned out to be the real deal and I started seeing the animals, I would deal with it, just like I would deal with an enclosure that had a lion or tiger or gorilla. If it came with a ghost and invisible creatures, I really didnât see what the difference was, if I couldnât go in the enclosures either way.
On that note, Iâd like you to imagine a kid who looks at a roller coaster, watching everyone screaming and grinning as they go up and down and all around and theyâre like, âHeck, I could do that! That looks like a blast!â
Then they get on, the first drop hits, and they realize theyâve made a terrible mistake.
âAll right,â I sighed. âI canât say Iâm going to turn down a job just because itâs going to be scary. Especially not one with this paycheck.â
Andrew smiled. âAwesome. Thereâs an adjustment process for anyone working here, similar to a dog that gets adopted, actually. I know the general guidelines of, âthree days, three weeks, three monthsâ in terms of milestones, until they finally feel theyâre where theyâre supposed to be,â he told me, âand you can think of your time here along those lines. I really think youâre a great fit, and once you reach the milestone of working here for three months, Iâll officially consider you our new night shift guard. And I hope youâll stay with us for many years.â
I nodded and smiled at the flattery of an employer wanting me to work a great job for them for a long time. Iâd never had a dog, but those milestones were well-known among anyone who knew animals, especially dogs. The first three days, the dog is getting to know its new digs, exploring, and decompressing. At three weeks, theyâve gotten used to their environment and are starting to get comfortable with their surroundings and the routines of the humans they live with. By three months, they know the rules and follow them, they trust you, and they feel they are where theyâre meant to be. I could only hope to be so lucky.
I saw the ghost two days ago and she has yet to make another appearance (for those who are curious, I asked, and her name is Leila), and I still hadnât seen any animals. I did hear one, though, I feel compelled to note. A growling roar sounded from the lake on occasion, echoing across the vast zoo, sending a shiver down my spine. Whatever that animal was, it sounded gigantic.
Andrew said there was apparently a group that wanted to visit for a birthday and they were offering a huge donation, so he let me know they were making an exception and that this group would be walking through the park that night. That meant Iâd be watching people watching animals that, as far as I could tell, werenât there.
It was anticlimactic. Even the three people who came for the tour just looked like people, not like aliens or something eldritch from another dimension, and I stayed in the security office the whole time. Andrew was the one giving the tour. I watched them spend about five minutes at each enclosure, the hour or so that they were there passing without incident. It was clear that they were able to see all the animals, though, since they motioned excitedly at each enclosure and spoke to Andrew, who presumably answered any questions they had.
If they could see the animals, that was that. There was still that niggle in the back of my head, from my twenty-three years of life never encountering anything like ghosts or cryptids, telling me that this was ridiculous. Waiting for someone to knock on the door, a camera mounted on their shoulder, to tell me that it was a big joke and they wanted to see how long Iâd play along. But from all I saw, this was a real place with real, invisible animals.
I do carry a taser and pepper spray in my capacity as a security guard. Though it isnât for the animals, since theyâre in the enclosures; theyâre actually for the rare instance of a break-in. Andrew mentioned that it had happened several times it the past, someone trying to steal an animal in the hopes of selling it on the black market. Theyâd been successful before, but apparently my predecessor Roger was good at his job, and mostly they left in handcuffs.
Iâll be honest, Iâm not a huge fan of confrontation, but my job was to call Andrew and then confront the person, not kick their ass. Thatâs what the police were for, or rather, the people Andrew would call in lieu of police in certain situations.
Fifty bucks an hour. Thatâs the key here. Andrew hadnât set up direct deposit, since he was sticking with a strategy of waiting to see if Iâd continue to work there once I found out myself dealing with the animals (Iâve decided I am going to just call them animals). Instead, I got an old-fashioned check after my shift every Friday. The number on the first check was delightful. I went out that evening and had a big dinner at the local diner, order my most expensive favorites on the menu and a big slice of pie for dessert.
When it came to the paychecks in general, though, I had this weird feeling of not wanting to tell my dad and brother about the fact that it was actually $50/hr. I previously mentioned that my dad, his nameâs Nathan if youâre curious, works at a local grocery store. Our town has a couple food franchises, but I think its size is just short of whatever threshold Walmart uses to decide where to open. He earns $14/hr. and thatâs after the tiny raises heâs gotten over the past thirteen years.
Thatâs not to say heâd feel bad about not making as much as me. On the contrary, he would be ecstatic for me and really proud. But, like me, heâd be suspicious. That hourly rate was the biggest hint that this was more than just a private zoo for cryptids. And as soon as that fat check cleared without problems, my dad wouldnât be satisfied with reassurances; heâd want to come visit the zoo and look around.
Iâd told him itâs a private preservation with scheduled (expensive) visits only and that it had only eleven animals, so heâd been appeased by me brushing off the idea of a visit. Also, I took a few photos of my workplace; one of the security room, one of me sitting in my chair, one photo of the many screens I watched, and a selfie where I was feigning sleep out of boredom, slouched in my chair with my mouth open in a faux snore. That let him feel like he knew where I was and what I was doing, and that I was safe.
But if I told him I was making double what he thought, my father would practically order me to quit. No job was worth my safety, heâd tell me. I was quite of the opposite opinion, however, considering how crucial any and all conservation efforts were these days. Especially with the steep extinction levels due to humans competing with other animals for space, not to mention climate change. Working in any job that helped preserve species and keep ecosystems in balance, or put them back in balance, was so important.
Then again, my father would also point out something I had realized right away: the fact was that I was working with endangered species that were not from Earth. I wasnât helping my planet. To be honest, thoughâŠthat didnât matter to me. Especially after that talk with Andrew about why he hired a human for this job, I figured whichever dimension these animals came from had the equivalent of us, razing forests to the ground, clouding the planet with pollution, and leaving the animals with no avenue of recourse when yet more land was taken from them.
I really do hope to keep working here for a long time, though, and not just because of the money. I canât help it; I want to know what these things were, and I want to work with them, to do the job of a zookeeper. The same way you go up to the chain-link fence to get close to a carnivore on the other side who thinks youâd make a nice afternoon snack. You just want to be closer to them, to experience that incredible, daunting feeling of being in their presence.
Unsurprisingly, it wasnât long before I got what I wanted.
The day after we had the tour go through, I was doing my sweep when I saw the ghost again. She was sitting on a small boulder in the same area Iâd seen her the first time, looking identical, blood covering the front of her slashed shirt, the wounds visible underneath. I stopped and stood there for a moment before I decided to raise my hand in a small wave.
The young woman cocked her head at me and raised a hand in the air in an imitation of my gesture, her expression showing a bit of curiosity.
She was low-key, seemingly not concerned with my presence, looking at me as a novel phenomenon in her world. I wondered what that world consisted of. Was she always here, sometimes visible and sometimes not? Or did she have another world next to ours, in the ether, where she left everything in this world behind and floated in her disembodied form? Did she still feel emotions? Was that really curiosity on her face, or was I projecting? Did she feel happiness? Fear? Did she have the option of moving on, or was she stuck here?
Many questions that I might never get the answers to. And that was assuming Andrew knew the answers, since Iâd never met Suzanne Cooper and he hadnât even mentioned that possibility. This place was clearly her baby, but Iâm sure running it was a lot of work. Plus, if she was rich enough to own it, she was rich enough to have other businesses and charities to run.
When it comes to the enclosures, theyâre all wrapped by a barrier of some kind, though never one that seems adequate. There was not a single place with the ugly metal weavings of a chain-link fence, and no stretches of circular razor wire. Instead, there are nice fences. Black iron, or wrought steel fencing in a similar style to the one circling the perimeter of the zoo, just shorter and with different patterns. Or a spaced picket fence, the wood stained in some tone of brown, or a split two-rail fence. As if to say,
âThis is the border of your enclosure, but weâre just letting you know out of courtesy.â When I started to pass enclosure number seven last night, a young womanâs voice spoke, âHello.â
I startled, unaware that I hadnât been alone. âOh. Hi,â I said, staring at her standing a few yards in.
She had been next to a large tree and I hadnât seen her. This enclosure was behind a picket fence, and she walked through the large area of wild grasses and flowers that stretched across the other side of the fence. There were fewer tall grasses closer to the fence, which I guessed was because it had been tromped down by her regular pacing along it when there were visitors, or if she wanted to see the various enclosures of the zoo. Her sudden appearance was a bit weird, considering I had been expecting to see a cryptid and instead I was looking at, it seemed, an attractive Asian woman.
She wore a black kimono, the soft silk robe draped gently over her body, with beautiful patterns of cherry blossoms, more so over her left side, and red and blue birds with their wings spread. A sash wrapped around her abdomen, she wore socks and sandals on her feet, and her hair was up in those rolls that gave volume to the style.
I was no expert on any fashion, much less that of another country, so I just assumed it was all traditional Japanese clothing. Most likely, the visitors who came liked to see a certain time-honored style and thatâs what she stuck with. Or maybe she played on stereotypes. That would be amusing.
âIâm Yui. Itâs nice to meet you,â she spoke, arriving at the border of the fence and holding out a hand for me to shake.
Iâd been standing about three yards away from her, and Iâll be honest, muscle memory tried to kick in. But I only made it two steps, my hand starting to rise, before I froze, the hand falling limply at my side. âNice to meet you, too,â I answered, my voice quiet.
Damn. I wonder how many times that honey trap works back where she comes from. The pleasant look on her face faded, and she lowered her hand. âYou wonât shake hands with me? Isnât that rude?â
âI mean, I kind of like my hand where it is. You know, attached to me.â
Her demure smile widened into something more amused. âI would never do something so revolting.â
Looking her up and down, as if more visual information would give me more knowledge of what she was, I asked her, âWhat
would you do?â
âI would be less wasteful,â she said softly.
A finger of ice trailed down my spine, and I had the sudden image in my head of her grabbing my outstretched hand in an iron grip and yanking me over the fence, leaving me to sprawl on the ground. Then killing and consuming me efficiently, without a single careless step, the same way humans slaughtered pigs, using everything from the hog but the squeal. I was struck with a shiver at the idea of her consuming everything from me but my screams.
Slowly, I took one step further down the path, then another. Just as I got to a walking pace, though, I realized the woman had started walking too, in the same direction. Iâd have eventually gotten to the end of her enclosure and keep going, leaving her behind, but she spoke up. âAre you leaving?â
I came to a stop, meeting her gaze again. âMy job is to walk the zoo every hour. Then Iâll get back to the security room and stay there until my next walk.â
âHave you met the others yet?â
I hesitated before saying, âJust Leila.â
She blinked languidly. âThat means nobody welcomed you here.â
âAndrew did.â
She didnât reply to that. Instead, she slowly started to lean forward, and I flinched backward a few steps further as I saw insect legs start curling out from her back.
No. Not insect. Arachnid. The eight legs ended in small âpawsâ with tiny claws, a layer of hairs covering the leg from top to bottom, like any typical tarantula. I took two more slow steps back and my mouth went dry as the jointed legs just kept lengthening, until they were large enough to lever her off the ground.
My gaze had been on the spider legs, but my heart skipped a beat as I realized her human legs had melded together and turned into a bulging abdomen. Her skin was shifting to a carapace, eventually all the way up to her shoulders and down her arms, her fingers elongating and her nails stretching to claws. From there down, her body was that of a pale tarantula with pedipalps the size of my arms and piercing fangs in her jaws that looked like they could take my head off.
There was a moment, my vision blurring, where I was worried that I might piss myself. The part of my brain that still had its humor intact in that moment told me that I should keep an emergency set of clothes in my car, or at the very least, start wearing Depends to work.
âI show you my true form,â she said softly, her voice now raspy like an eighty-year-old after a lifelong smoking habit. âWelcome to Suzanne Cooperâs zoo. The night shift guard for many years was Roger, before he retired and the zoo moved, and I miss him dearly. What should I call you?â
I choked on my words. There was no way my throat was going to cooperate enough for me to clearly get a sentence out. Instead, I realized my legs had taken control of the situation themselves, unsatisfied with my conscious brainâs decision to stand and stare, taking steps backward. I backed up a yard, then five yards, then ten.
My mind focused on the fact that spiders donât waste anything, and pictured my demise. Iâd be wrapped in a cocoon, killed, and made nice and mushy before she had me for dinner.
The whole time, my brain was a frenzied mess, my pupils were probably the size of dimes, and I was staring at that tiny, pathetic fence between her and me. There was so much adrenaline pumping through my body that I felt like my bones were vibrating. The fence was, to my eyes, the only thing between us. The only thing keeping her from tackling and killing me. My only hope was that sheâd do it quickly.
But she didnât move. As I absorbed her innocent, polite words, the look on her face was calm, and I wondered if this was typically the way a conversation went before she devoured her prey. I wondered how many people sheâd eaten. Not humans, not people from Earth, but the ones from where she came from. The fact that she doesnât scare the shit out of those people means theyâre staggeringly dumber than humans.
Finally, I rounded a corner, both relieved at having her out of my sight and worried that she would take that moment to come find me. When sheâd been within eyeshot, I had at least known where she was and could run in the other direction. But I didnât hear the sound of faint footsteps moving rapidly toward me. All was quiet, in that deep, smothering way that only an empty business in the middle of the night in small town America could be.
My hands trembling, I barely paid attention to anything but the confirmation that my surroundings were free of the colossal spider as I finally got back to the door. Grabbing the handle and letting my eyes dart around for about ten seconds and my ears prick for the slightest sound, I finally swiped my key card across the pad and went inside, shutting the door behind me and engaging the backup deadbolt.
Maybe that was why they had decided on keycards. If I was running from something and panicking, using an actual key or inserting the card like at a hotel would keep me from getting to safety considering my hands were shaking enough to mix a margarita.
Walking over to my chair, I fell into it, letting my body flush itself of terror as I looked up at the cameras. There she was, still in arachnid form, exactly where Iâd left her behind that rinky-dink fence, casually looking around and slowly pacing back and forth. I stared at her as my racing heart gradually slowed, and a minute or so later she turned on her eight legs and walked back into the trees.
Whatever invisible fences the enclosures have apparently work, which is nice, because I wasnât keen on getting killed by one of the creatures here. And thatâs what brings me here, spilling out everything thatâs happened so far. Because nearly passing out from terror isnât something I wanted to deal with at work, obviously, but I keep going over what she did in my head again and again, and I feel like I reacted like a child who spotted a wolf spider on their bed. I started to worry for my overactive sense of self-preservation, at least in my capacity as an employee here.
The spider didnât even try to hurt me, and so I was feeling a bit foolish. Even annoyed, actually, at the fact that Iâd freaked out so hard and took off instead of trying to engage in at least basic conversation. I got the sense that she wasnât at human-level intelligence, but I was never going to be able to hold any level of conversation with an alligator.
Sure, she did mention that she wouldnât be so crass as to yank off my hand because sheâd rather just have my entire corpse, but wouldnât a wolf do the same if it was hungry? Wouldnât any carnivore? Actually, they probably wouldâve been satisfied with one of my hands. The fear here was from the fact that she turned into a giant spider. If sheâd turned into Clifford, I wouldâve reacted the same way, if not better than, meeting Leila.
With that, I decided Iâm staying on the job. Considering how frustrated I can get with foolish people, itâs a bit hypocritical, and Iâm being a bit of an idiot. ButâŠthere are definitely wards keeping them in their enclosures. Also, I signed up for creatures for another dimension, whether or not I believed in them at the time, and I will not let encountering my first one in an objectively boring way be the reason I quit.
The money is a factor, Iâll grant you. Of course it is. And I canât spend it if Iâm dead, but all signs point to surviving as long as I donât do anything dumb. Also, yes, Iâll admit thereâs a not-so-little voice in the back of my head thatâs desperate to know what else is here. I never thought Iâd do something like this, but finding out these things are real, I honestly do want to learn more about them.
Still, though, I decided to call Andrew at the end of my shift to ask if the pepper spray and taser I carried worked on a certain spider, as well as the other animals Iâd yet to meet.
Previous ***
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2024.05.15 15:48 magica12 Happy Heavenly Birthday to L Frank Baum, the guy who's the reason we're all here in the first place
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2024.05.15 15:43 Tight_Philosophy8244 AITA for apparently making my friend's girlfriend suicidal?
The people involved (names are changed):
Jake â me
Tom â my flatmate
Kath â Tomâs girlfriend
Emily â Kathâs flatmate
TLDR (but context is very important for how the situation develops):
· Me and Emily get with each other at a party.
· It turns out Kath had forbidden Emily from getting with me. Since Emily went and did it anyway, Kath falls out with her.
· Kath ends her friendship with Emily. Me and Emily continue seeing each other.
· When I plan to go to see Emily at their apartment, Tom tells me that Kath is in a really dark place mentally, and the thought of me and Emily being there together while Kathâs there is triggering her anxiety, so he asks me not to go over.
· Me and Emily follow these instructions for months, while Tom and Kath continue coming and going to either of our apartments as they please.
· Emily eventually gets in touch with Kath to try and understand exactly why me coming over is an issue, since Kath has no problem coming to my place. Kath has a meltdown due to this and it makes her suicidal.
· Tom falls out with me because I knew about the messages that caused his girlfriend to feel suicidal.
(Skip to 'Late April' if you want to go straight to the crux of this post, but I do think it's quite an entertaining read).
Background Context
Me and Tom (both mid-twenties) have lived together in our apartment since I moved to the city last year. Iâve known him for several years and would put him in my inner circle of closest friends, so living with him was all just good chill vibes as expected - or at least it was for the first six months.
I met Tomâs girlfriend of several months, Kath, for the first time pretty soon after moving in. Although she was kind of shy, I thought she seemed nice enough. I noticed that Kath would seem to lean on Tom a fair amount when it came to support for her mental health (she had been diagnosed with anxiety), which of course is normal as her boyfriend. On one occasion, she had a particularly bad anxious episode during a group hangout, with Tom consoling her about it afterwards. Following this, Tom seemed exhausted, saying to me âIâm not a professional, Iâm not equipped to deal with all this mental health stuff. She needs help from someone who can adequately help her deal with these thoughts. When she blows things out of proportion and she stresses out to me about her anxiety, it just ends up making my own anxiety worseâ. He also said that he had even offered to pay for therapy for Kath, but she didnât want to accept it.
I just felt bad for Tom, especially since I had some understanding of what he was going through. I had previously had a girlfriend who had anxiety/depression/BPD and put all her mental health issues on me. That girlfriend was also very manipulative and would mention suicidal thoughts any time she started feeling like she was losing control over me (just to be clear, there was no indication that Kath was acting in a manipulative way towards Tom at that point). In my experience, when you end up in a situation where youâre essentially acting as someoneâs full-time personal mental health counsellor, it hardly ever ends well.
At some point in January, I met Kathâs âbestieâ flatmate, Emily. I remember thinking she was cute, seemed nice and easy to talk to. We all hung out as a group a few times that month and I thought there may have been a little bit of a vibe between me and Emily.
So as you do, I slid into Emilyâs DMs and basically let her know I was interested. I messaged her a week or two before our party that her and Kath were coming to, but her response was lukewarm so I just thought she probably wasnât interested.
For context, I had recently broken up with my girlfriend in January, who had just got back from travelling for the last 6 months. Things in that relationship werenât great before she even went travelling, and during the months she was away I had come to terms with the fact that it was best to end it. I waited until she was back to say it in person, as I didnât want to drop that on her while she was travelling and ruin that once in a lifetime experience. However, deep down I knew I had wanted talk to other girls and explore new connections for the last few months, but obviously I didnât want talk to anyone until it was cleanly over. Me messaging Emily was only a few days after breaking up with her, which I guess isnât great, but in my head I had been ready to move on for a while, I saw no point in putting an arbitrary time limit on myself. I made sure to explain this context when I messaged Emily so that she was aware of my recent circumstances.
The Party (End of January)
So me and Emily end up getting with each other at the party. Initially, when I brought up me messaging her, she said âI think youâre cute, but I think itâs best we just be friends for the next couple months, since you just recently got out of a relationship, and we can see what happens afterwardsâ. But as the night went on, I guess Emily changed her mind, because as we kept talking it got increasingly flirty and we ended up getting together. Perfect end to the night, right? Not exactly.
At one point when Emily goes to the bathroom, she comes back into my bedroom saying âKath is furious at meâ. I ask why, and she says that Kath had basically forbidden her from getting with me.
Back when I first messaged Emily, she had of course shown Kath the messages straight away. It turns out Kath for some reason had a really intense reaction to this and was like âI canât believe he has the audacity to hit on my best friend right after breaking up with his girlfriend! Itâs so disrespectful using you as a rebound, itâs disrespectful to his ex and itâs disrespectful to me for hitting on my best friend like this! He was the only one of Tomâs friends that I actually liked but heâs ruined that too now!â.
Apparently, Kath had been used as a rebound before and this was triggering for her, so she didnât want her best friend to be used as a rebound. She said âyou canât get with him, Emily, thatâs my boundary.â Emily was a bit taken aback by the intensity of this reaction and was just a bit like âumm okayâŠ?â. She tried a few times before the party to understand a bit more about why Kath had such a problem with it but didnât get much further explanation than that.
Now, I agree that Emily was in the wrong for saying to Kath that she wouldnât get with me and then went and did it anyway, and Emily also acknowledges this. Emily should have said from the start she wasnât okay with this weird âboundaryâ Kath had set. It was a bit cowardly. Although given how intensely Kath overreacts to things, I can understand why Emily initially just agreed to whatever she was saying to calm her down. I can also understand how when youâre at a party having fun, drinking and realise that you do actually have a good vibe with the person, in the moment you might change your mind and be like âactually fuck that, who the fuck is she to tell me who I can and canât get with?â.
Kath saw this as Emily having no respect for their friendship, by choosing some guy sheâd just met over her. From Emilyâs perspective she was choosing herself, choosing not to follow these nonsensical rules that had been imposed on her, and she was just tired of Kath overreacting to everything and trying to control her.
In my opinion, being this controlling for no good reason is pretty disrespectful in itself. Given that Kathâs reason for telling Emily not to get with me was because she didnât want her to be used as a reboundâŠwell thatâs Emilyâs risk to take, isnât it? I can see how from Emilyâs perspective, she knew Kath might not be happy about it, but itâs also not some deep betrayal, since based on the reason Kath gave, the consequence would only be on Emily herself. Emily had the exact same knowledge about my recent relationship status as Kath did, so why did Kath think she can tell her what to do?
As we get to further into this post and the real reason why Kath set this âboundaryâ is revealed, you will see why I actually think any argument Kath has against Emily for getting with me at the party is automatically void, but we will learn these details as they come.
Start of February
After the events of the party, Kath didnât want to talk to Emily the next day when she tried to initiate communication via message (Kath tends to avoid in-person confrontation). Fair enough, Emily gave her space. Me and Emily spend the next day together just talking and getting to know each other more, and itâs clear that we vibe together and both feel very comfortable with each other, which is pretty rare for both of us.
I donât see Tom for the first few days after the party, as he had been staying at Kathâs. When I do, Iâm a bit surprised that he didnât think much of Kathâs reaction at the party. He says âyeah I probably should have warned you about this beforehandâ. We both agree that Emily was in the wrong for going back on what she said, but also that Kath shouldnât have tried to control her like that. He did say âsorry I know this put you in an awkward positionâ.
A few days after the party, Emily again tries to get in touch with Kath via message.
Emilyâs message essentially apologised for her actions, saying she was in the wrong for going back on what she said, and that she should have said from the start that she wasnât happy with this âboundaryâ. She also said that Kath shouldnât have tried to dictate her life and tell her what to do, especially when itâs something thatâs none of her business, and that she is going to continue seeing me, taking the risk of being a âreboundâ.
Kathâs response essentially said the whole incident at the party was only a small part of why she exploded so intensely, this was just the last in a long line of things Emily had done in the past which she had not forgiven her for. This was just the last straw for Kath because âit hit so close to home, so close to the love of my lifeâ. She wanted things to be civil between them until the end of their tenancy, but this was essentially the end of their friendship.
Okay good, Kath flipping out so badly now finally made a bit more sense to me. Obviously, I wanted to know what Emily had done that was so bad to cause this, as any indicators of bad character would inform whether I choose to keep talking to her.
Emily went through these, explaining that these were incidents from their past that they had discussed at the time, dealt with and moved on from. I have cut these out for the word limit as they donât add much to this post, but it was the most minor, nonsensical things (I can explain in the comments if anyone wants details).
In any case, I wasnât particularly interested in what mistakes Emily might have made months or years ago, I was more interested in what her character was like now and going forward.
Early/Mid February
So hereâs where the main situation weâre in now starts. For context, Kath and Emilyâs apartment is in the city center, close to where both mine and Tomâs offices are, so it would make sense to go over in the evening and go into work from theirs the next morning, as Tom has been doing once or twice a week for the last few months.
It's worth noting that ever since the party right up to the present moment, Emily and Kath have not been interacting at all, avoiding each other in their apartment, only messaging for things like bill payments.
The first time I planned to go stay round Emilyâs place was early/mid-February. When I mention this to Tom, he tells me that Kath has been having a really bad time mentally since the party, and the thought of me and Emily being there together triggers her anxiety. He asks me not to go over to their apartment for the next couple of weeks or so while sheâs in this particularly bad phase. I donât really understand what me going over and seeing Emily has to do with Kathâs anxiety (and Tom says he doesn't really understand it either himself), but I say okay fine itâs not that big of deal, I wonât go over for the time being.
Now, a valid question for myself is why I decided to keep seeing Emily, despite knowing that Kath had fallen out with her and therefore knowing it could potentially cause fiction between me and Tom. I donât think I did anything wrong for several reasons:
· I suppose thereâs the general visceral reaction against being told what to do. Like mind your own business, itâs not my fault Kath decided to get involved in my business. Why should she get what she wants when sheâs the one being unreasonable? Why should we deny ourselves the opportunity of getting to know someone we seem to vibe with just because Tomâs girlfriend doesnât like it?
· Before I even knew there was any issue at all, it was already too late; I had already gotten with Emily, they had already fallen out, and Kath already thought I was a dickhead. So what good would it do now to not see each other? Kath already didnât like me (and she had also previously told me that once she doesnât like someone, thereâs no going back, theyâre finished in her mind).
· In the initial first few days after the party, both me and Tom were kind of expecting that Kathâs reaction would blow over in a few days after she had cooled down. How could I have predicted that her reaction would instead continue getting increasingly intense as the situation went on?
· Frankly, I was annoyed at Tom at this point. He knew how Kath had reacted to me messaging Emily, so why did he just bend over and enable his girlfriendsâ controlling, unreasonable behavior without question? If it was my girlfriend acting like this generally, Iâd be like âwhy are you getting involved in their business, just let them do what they want?â, and especially so if it was directly affecting one of my close friends.
· Fundamentally, thereâs no inherent reason why there had to be any issue at all? Okay Kath has ended her friendship with Emily and might not like that weâre seeing each other, but thereâs no need for there to be any continued drama. Obviously we wonât all be hanging out as a four having fun like I had initially hoped, but that doesnât mean we canât just exist as adults and be civil? The only reason this continues to be an issue in the first place is because Kath is making it an issue for everyone else involved.
· Finally, I actually like Emily â from the first few days it was clear it wasnât just going to be a FWB situation. If it felt like more of a superficial FWB situation, then yeah I probably would have just thought itâs not worth the drama, even though I thought Kath was the one in the wrong.
Late February
Over the month of February, me and Emily keep hanging out and getting closer. Whilst I was keeping a very close eye on her for any sign of character flaws (it was still possible that Kath could be in the right, even though her side of it didnât make much sense to me), the more I got to know her, the more it seemed my initial judgment of her was accurate. I saw how she acted with her other friends, they all seemed to really value and appreciate her. I saw her helping out her friend in need of a fairly large amount of money without a second thought, I saw her going to accompany her friend for a medical scan they had, and generally she was really nice and thoughtful with me. Not exactly the behavior of an inconsiderate person.
Sometime in late February, Emily messages me completely baffled. She couldnât believe that Kath had invited over a girl from their social circle, Dianne. The reason why this is a bit scandalous is because Kath is always talking shit about Dianne behind her back. And itâs not just âshe can be a bit annoying sometimesâ, itâs an explicit sentiment of how much she dislikes her, how much of a bad person she is and how much she wants her removed from her life. And she does this frequently, I barely speak to Kath and even Iâve heard her rant about how much she doesnât like Dianne. So, sheâs constantly saying this kind of stuff behind her back, and here she is now inviting her round for tea acting all friendly. I just found that so two-faced and this inevitably shaped my perception of Kath being deceptive.
Not long after I heard about this, Kath was round our place over the weekend. Me, Tom and Kath were heading off to our friendâs housewarming party later that day, with me driving us. At one point when the three of us are all in the kitchen, Kath speaks to me properly for the first time since the party, basically to clear the air. She says she doesnât want there to be any bad blood between us and that her problem wasnât with me, it was with Emily. I just say that I was cool with her, I donât want her to feel uncomfortable with me or when coming over to our apartment, and that the situation between her and Emily was between them and not my business.
I wasnât entirely convinced with her âclearing the airâ, given that I had seen she apparently has no issue with being two-faced, but at the time I thought it was best to stay cool with her for the sake of me and Tomâs friendship and also I didnât particularly fancy spending the rest of the day and a long car ride with awkward vibes.
End of February
At the end of February, Tom asks me how things are going with Emily and basically advises caution with her. He says that from what heâs seen sheâs basically not a good person and sheâs generally inconsiderate. I tell him I find that surprising from what Iâve seen of Emily, but I know itâs possible she could have just been putting on a front for the last month. I openly accept this, saying âI want to hear what you have to say, obviously youâre my friend and I respect your opinionâ.
Essentially, he doesnât bring up anything that I hadnât already been told.
When I question Tom on why Kath thought she was a mind reader and assuming what my intentions were with Emily at the very start of this whole thing, Tom reveals he had since found out that the real reason Kath had forbidden Emily from getting with me in the first place actually wasnât really to do with me recently breaking up with my girlfriend/using Emily as a rebound (Tom said this was a minor part of the reason, more of an excuse to base it on). It was more that Kath already knew beforehand that she wanted to end her friendship with Emily and was essentially trying to prevent her still being part of her life (i.e. by getting close to her boyfriendâs friend/flatmate).
Now it all made sense why Kath tried to âbanâ her from getting with me in the first place. Iâm not sure if Tom thought telling me this would make me more sympathetic to Kathâs side of it, but if anything, this deceptive behavior was even more of a red flag to me. As far as everyone (except for Kath) was concerned, her and Emily were best friends. Kath had even said to Emily a couple of weeks before the party that âshe was like a sister to herâ.
Tom didnât seem to have much issue with this, saying something along the lines of âyeah I know she shouldnât have kept all this stuff bottled up, but she doesnât like confrontation, it makes her really anxiousâ.
After learning this, I think any argument for Emily being in the wrong for disobeying Kathâs instructions at the party is automatically void: Imagine having the audacity to be like âyeah I know I tried to control you by framing it as me being a protective friend looking out for you, but actually it was really because I wanted to end my friendship with you anyway teehee đâ. In my view that is just so manipulative. No wonder the reason given to Emily for not getting with me made no sense to her.
When I revealed this to Emily, she said that she had been suspecting that was the case anyway, but it still really hurt to hear it confirmed.
Form her perspective it was like: âSo was Kath holding all these grudges all the times I was consoling her for whatever mental health issue she was having at any given time?â (I wonder if Tom was thinking what a bad person Emily was when it was him and Emily staying up till stupid oâclock trying to console Kath who was crying about job applications a few weeks before all this kicked off). There are many other examples of things she had done for Kath in both the recent and more distant past.
Kath also knew that Emilyâs best friend had killed herself a few years prior, and after going through the loss of her best friend, Emily had always said she was super hesitant to call anyone her âbest friendâ. Kath knew about this and still let Emily believe they were best friends, whilst she clearly didnât really mean it, which I think is quite cruel of her.
Despite what I had seen of Emily so far, I still took what Tom said into account, and continued to watch her carefully.
Mid March
Another couple of weeks pass and given that my last interaction with Kath was her clearing the air with me, I thought everything was now cool between us. I mention to Tom at the start of the week that Iâm planning to stay at their apartment later that week and he says âokay coolâ. However, later that same evening, he once again asks me not to go over to their apartment. Apparently when he told Kath that I was going over, she started having a panic attack at the thought of me going there.
At this point Iâm really started to get frustrated at this situation and again I try to understand exactly what the problem is, because this entire time Kath and Tom have been coming and going to either apartment as they please, so Kath clearly doesnât have a problem coming to my apartment while Iâm there. Tom again says that he doesnât fully understand it himself, and that Kath doesnât want to feel this way either, but sheâs in a really bad place at the moment and me being there with Emily is really triggering her anxiety.
This makes no sense to me or Emily, because we obviously wouldnât do anything to make Kath uncomfortable, and from our perspective this is just enabling her dysfunctional way of dealing with this situation.
Even though I still donât understand what the fuck me seeing Emily has got to do with Kathâs mental health, Iâm obviously not going to barge my way into someoneâs home when Iâm not welcome. So once again, I do as Iâm told and say I wonât go over. But I do tell Tom that this situation isnât going to continue going on like this indefinitely, and to me it feels to me like Iâm being walked all over, in the sense of âoh yeah no worries, you two carry on going to either apartment as you please, Iâll just sit here like a dickhead and follow my instructions, donât worry about it đâ. He does say sorry and that he knows itâs inconvenient for us, but it's an even bigger inconvenience for Kath.
Itâs worth bearing in mind that at this point, I could have responded to this situation by saying that if Iâm not welcome at her apartment, Kath is not welcome here (or equally Emily could say to Kath âyou canât bring Tom roundâ). Whilst yes, itâs a bit petty, I think this would be a completely justified response to prevent a situation where we are being walked all over. Because what would be the alternative? They just carry on doing as they please indefinitely whilst Emily is told she isnât allowed to have equal use of her own apartment? Now obviously telling your friend that his girlfriend isnât allowed to come over is really a last resort and would definitely put a big dent in our friendship, and generally I have no desire to control what anyone else does, so of course I didnât respond in this way.
Despite my frustration at this entire situation, I do feel bad for Tom because I can see how uncomfortable he seems during these conversations with me, he obviously doesnât want to give me these unreasonable instructions. I can only assume heâs just trying to do whatever he can to keep his girlfriend afloat and prevent her next meltdown. Iâve been there myself dealing with a girlfriend with mental health issues, so I donât want to actively make things worse for my friend either. However, Iâm also worried that itâs likely to get worse for him the more he feeds into it and gets sucked into it.
At this point, the cynical side of me couldnât help but wonder if Kath was being a bit manipulative and leaning into all the mental health stuff to maintain control of the situation.
· She seemingly is unable to give a reason for exactly why me and Emily being in her apartment makes her so uncomfortable. To me, this was completely indistinguishable from her just hating the fact that weâre together.
· All this reminds me of exactly the same kind of manipulative behavior I saw with that ex-girlfriend.
· Sheâs shown she has no problem with being intentionally deceptive â maybe if the entire basis of this situation hadnât started off with Kath being manipulative she would have a bit more credibility in my eyes.
I know this kind of behavior is often not even intentional, and that it can be subconscious where the person doesnât even realise theyâre being manipulative.
(Still Mid March)
Now we get to the part that pisses me off the most in this whole situation. Only a few days after that conversation with Tom, for some reason Kath comes to stay in our apartment for the weekend while Tom was away at a house party. As in, itâs just me and Kath in my apartment.
Personally, I couldnât imagine having the nerve to say to someone they arenât welcome in my home because their presence triggers me, and then only a mere few days later actively choosing to go stay the weekend at their place while itâs just us two in the apartment. Like either my presence triggers you or it doesnât?
Now to be fair, Tom had asked me a week or two beforehand if Kath could come to our apartment to hang out with someone from our friend group while he was away, and I said that was cool. Anyway, those plans fell through, but Kath still came over by herself.
But the main thing that pissed me off about this is that Tom, after knowing that I was already feeling like I was being taken for a mug in this situation, apparently didnât even think it was worth bothering to check with me if it was still cool with me that Kath came round, given our conversation a few days prior.
If heâd at least checked in like, âI know itâs a bit weird that sheâs coming to stay round by herself after having just said that your presence triggers her anxietyâ, I still wouldâve said okay, because I have no desire to control what anyone does. But it was just the fact he didnât seem to care, saying âbtw Kath is gonna stay here tonightâ moments before leaving to his party.
To me it felt like he had spent the last month or so basically giving me instructions to make sure everyone caters to his girlfriendâs feelings, and yet didnât give the slightest consideration to how this would make me feel. Part of me was thinking does he even see me as a friend or just as an inconvenience to his relationship at this point?
I spoke to Tom in the week following this, expressing how I had felt about Kath staying round. He did apologise and acknowledged he couldâve checked in with me, but he didnât really seem to understand why her coming over like that was such a kick in the teeth for me. He said Kath doesnât have a problem with me, itâs only a very specific situation that triggers her (i.e. me and Emily being in her apartment together).
Again I try to understand exactly why itâs a problem. Ever since the party, Emilyâs presence in their apartment has consisted of her quietly staying in her room, quickly cooking her food and going straight back to her room. She doesnât spend 2 hours in the kitchen making food like Kath and Tom sometimes do when heâs there.
Tom again says he doesnât fully understand it himself. From what he understands, itâs triggering because her home is her safe space and if weâre both there itâs like thereâs two hostile presences in that safe space. He reiterated that she is in a very dark place at the moment, and that sheâs been having frequent panic attacks and suicidal thoughts.
Tom then says that Kath would be prepared to leave the apartment if me and Emily wanted to meet there, and Kath would basically get out of the way and come to me and Tomâs apartment instead. This did give me a bit more confidence that Kath wasnât just purposefully making things difficult.
If Kath genuinely meant this, then of course thatâs really appreciated, but Iâm obviously not going to make her leave her own home and come all the way to ours to then have a 2 hour commute to her work. Itâs so over the top and needless. I think that this clearly isnât a functional solution going forward. What if one day when we want to meet up, Kath has had a long day at work and doesnât feel like leaving her apartment (obviously, fair enough!), what if sheâs got plans with friends in her apartment that evening? In any case, itâs still a situation where rules are being imposed on us, I can never just spontaneously decide to go see Emily one day after work or something. We still canât come and go freely in the same way they have been doing for the past two months. It would be much better to understand why exactly itâs such a problem and see how weâre going to find a long-term solution, instead of Kath just running away from it.
The cynical side of me was wondering if Kath was just saying this knowing that neither me or Emily are realistically going to make her leave her own home, and if we do agree to it, then she can say âoh look how inconsiderate they are, making me leave my own home just so that they can be in the apartmentâ, ensuring that she keeps Tom firmly on her side.
Logically, I wouldâve thought as time goes on, Kath would eventually get used to the situation and just accept it. Conversely, is it not quite understandable that the longer we have rules imposed on us, the more frustrated we become?
Once again say that I wonât go over and tell him that I wonât press this issue for the time being.
Late April
So now we get to the latest development in the situation, which is the crux of this post.
For the next month or so after that conversation with Tom, me and Emily have just been following our instructions and not pressed anything, whilst they continue coming and going as they please. One weekend weâre talking about the whole âKath situationâ and we say âokay weâve left it for a while now, itâs probably time to see how weâre going to move forward with thisâ.
In that next week, Emily sends Kath the following message:
âHey, I appreciate this message might be uncomfortable but we need to discuss the fact that Jake canât come here while youâre at home because I know that him and Tom have spoken about this but weâve never addressed it with each other and I think itâs unfair that theyâve been largely absorbing this conflict this whole time. Can you please tell me what the exact problem would be and how we could make it work? At the end of the day we both pay equal rent here and I should be allowed to bring someone over, especially considering that Tom comes here whenever you want. Weâre nothing more than just 2 housemates now and if you were living with a stranger from Spareroom such restrictions couldnât have existed. I think Iâve let it slide and should have addressed it earlier, but itâs time we come up with a fair solution and Iâd like to know if thereâs anything reasonable we can do. I donât want to go into other conversations about our fallout cause thatâs done and dusted now, I want to strictly address this issue. Would you like some notice before he comes? I canât always guarantee how far in advance I can let you know but I will do my best to give you enough time.â
Kathâs response:
âhey, I do not really appreciate this conversation being brought up 2 days before my birthday and I wish we can settle it today and not drag it on. And I do not appreciate you using Tom as a weapon to guilt trip me either. Please let me know if he is coming over tonight so that I can go somewhere else. As u probably already know I am in a really bad place at the moment and being in the apartment with both of you makes me feel very uncomfortable and unsafe. Iâm already struggling to be there and I have been discussing with the agency about terminating the contract early, the terms have only been made clear to me today so I was going to message you about it. By paying a fee of ÂŁ660 (ÂŁ330 each) we can terminate the contract 12th of June and I wish u will consider this. I will be gone from the apartment for 2 weeks. I would really appreciate it if you do not bring him over in the next few days as I said it will be my birthday and I will be gone for 2 weeks after if you decide to do so after this, please let me know at least 2 days in advance so that I can leave (pack clothes and everything), but do not take advantage of this as it is extremely difficult for me to commute to work â it takes me 2 hours on the busâ
Emilyâs response to this:
âI donât appreciate you using your birthday as a âweaponâ to paint me as an inconsiderate person once again as youâre saying you were going to message me anyway about terminating the contract. You always have Tom round without any notice, without ever considering if it was ever uncomfortable for me given whatâs happened - but now you expect me to organise our schedule around you? We canât ever do something spontaneous or simply make plans the day before? Jake wonât be coming tonight or in the next few days until youâre away. I was hoping we could talk about why exactly this makes you uncomfortable and unsafe as itâs quite clear we wouldnât interact with you or do anything to purposely upset/annoy you. You also had no problem being in his apartment with him without Tom there, so clearly his presence must not be that big of a problem. I am going to get back to you about terminating the contract as I have to figure out where I would go, but Iâd love nothing more than to leave this apartment as early as possible too.â
There was no response after Emilyâs second message.
Tom comes back to our apartment the next day and ignores me all day until the evening when he asks âDid you know that Emily was going to send those messages?â.
I say âYes, obviously?â. He responds with âRight, okayâ and starts walking back towards his room.
I ask him what was wrong with the messages, and he comes back and says âwhat the fuck is Emily doing sending messages like that to my suicidal girlfriend?â. He essentially thought the tone of the messages, the proximity to Kathâs birthday and the fact that weâre once again bringing up this issue of me coming round was out of order. He also said that Emilyâs 2nd message was implying that she was just going to bring me round without any notice anyway (looking at the message, no it wasnât? It was just highlighting the unfairness of Kath expecting us to organise our schedule around her? None of the messages say that Iâm going to come over, they are essentially just trying to understand exactly why it makes Kath uncomfortable).
We also did note that it was Kathâs birthday on the Friday (messages were sent on Tuesday). Maybe that wasnât ideal, but we thought what real difference does it make? This is nothing new, itâs the same situation thatâs been ongoing for the last 3 months anyway (and personally, I thought that up until the moment Kath says âokay sorry, I shouldnât have imposed rules on youâ then she shouldnât expect that this wonât be brought up to her?).
I was a bit shocked at how angry he was and explained that weâre just trying to understand exactly what her issue is, because it still doesnât make any sense to us. I bring up the general point about Kath imposing rules on people and expects everyone to cater to her feelings, whilst zero consideration has been given to how Emily has felt over the last 3 months, when not only does it make her uncomfortable as well that there are two âhostile presencesâ in her home, but especially given that those hostile presences have told her sheâs not allowed to have equal use of her apartment she also pays rent for.
Tom responds with âbut itâs not making Emily feel suicidal is it? Kath was having convulsions on the fucking bed last night after those messages. Why do you keep focusing on this tiny issue of coming to the apartment when my girlfriend is literally suicidal? Sheâs already said sheâd make arrangements to leave the apartment for when you want to come over, and yet you keep pressing the issue and triggering her furtherâ.
In that moment I was a bit taken aback and didnât have much of a response. I kind of just sat and processed that for a few minutes, thinking âfuck, have I actually been in the wrong this whole time?â. Tom looked exhausted and stressed out, he must have been dealing with Kathâs meltdown the whole of the night before.
I say to Tom âtell Kath not to worry about me coming over while sheâs there, Iâm not going to, Iâll just leave it for good and wonât press this issue anymoreâ. Tom doesnât give much of a response, but I think he says âI appreciate itâ. He leaves for his two-week holiday shortly after.
I felt really bad that evening, thinking I had caused Tom to have to deal with whatever horrible meltdown because of me pressing this issue. Maybe I had been overly cynical of Kath, and she genuinely was just trying her best and not meaning to be manipulative.
When Tom got back from his holiday, he basically confirmed our friendship is over because I had known about those messages that caused his girlfriend to feel suicidal.
Iâve thought about the situation a lot since he left for his holiday:
· Looking back at the messages Emily sent, I think the tone is completely fine? Every single person Iâve shown the messages to has said they are actually quite kind and empathetic, and way nicer than they need to be given Kathâs behavior over the last 3 months.
· Tomâs reaction was essentially âhow dare Emily have the audacity to ask for a reason why she hasnât been allowed to have equal use of her own apartment for the last 3 months!â
· Itâs true that Tom had mentioned that Kath had been having some suicidal thoughts a month prior, but I didnât know that this would directly impact that, especially since I thought the message was quite nice and sensitive. Just the weekend before this Tom and Kath were out clubbing, having fun and they were going on holiday later that week. So obviously I didnât realise she was still feeling so bad. How could anyone expect that simply asking the question of âwhy does this make you so uncomfortableâ would result in this reaction.
· As soon as I did realise how intensely Kath had reacted, and what Tom had had to deal with as a result, I backed off straight away, saying that she doesnât have to worry, Iâm not going to press it anymore.
· Realistically, if this is how Kath reacts to being asked for basic fairness, then I think really she needs to be in a mental health crisis centre or hospital, not just carrying on with everyday life as if everything is fine, and certainly not in a situation where sheâs imposing rules on people.
· At the end of the day, Kathâs mental health is not my responsibility, nor is it Tomâs responsibility. I think itâs unfair of Kath to have made it his problem to such a large degree.
Logically, I donât think Iâm in the wrong, and yet Tomâs reaction to this makes me feel like Iâm going crazy. Thatâs why I wrote out everythingâs thatâs happened from start to finish to âauditâ myself and evaluate each of my actions throughout the entire situation. Iâve looked back and donât think Iâm in the wrong for anything Iâve done. The only explanation I can think of is that Tom has been so deep in all of Kathâs mental health stuff 24/7 that heâs just not thinking clearly about this situation.
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2024.05.15 15:40 virtuallife_321 mini giveaway
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2024.05.15 15:40 BirdBurnett Happy birthday to Ahmet, born May 15th, 1974.
2024.05.15 15:38 KhaosTh3ory SOTD 5/15/24 - Yaqi Tile - CC2 Citrus Basil Barbershop
2024.05.15 15:37 IProbablyHaveADHD14 My ex's birthday is in a few days and I need help
First few things I'd like to acknowledge:
I apologise if my English is flawed. I'm not a native speaker and I'm a bit shaky right now
We ended on good terms about 2 months ago, decided to keep in touch for a bit.
We still see each other every day and talk, although we'll likely never see each other in person again.
I bought her a mug and a bracelet. The bracelet symbolises the first gift she ever bought ME, it looks similar in fashion. I didn't want to bring her anything too romantic because it's obviously a pretty inappropriate time.
We've been open about our feelings, comforting each other, we're clearly both not over each other. We've taken small precautions to let ourselves down slowly, such as talking kess/focusing more on our daily duties than time together.
With that being said, I wrote her a letter and I'm scared if it's too much. The letter firstly acknowledges that I know it's not the most ideal circumstance to give her the letter. Second, I talked about the fact that we'll probably never see each other again, but despite that, I'll always cherish, love and care for us and our times together. Finally, after recalling our memories, I wrote down reassurance that everything will be okay, we'll move on in the long run, and overall I'm glad I met her and I don't regret our time together.
I also added a few hearts in the letter to show that I care, but I'm scared if I've done too much. I'm obviously not over us, and it feels like I'm venting more than acknowledging her birthday, albeit, I did wish her a happy birthday and the best. I don't want it to come off as too romantic or needy. I don't know if she'll appreciate it or not.
Please don't be too harsh on me, I'm young and new to romantic relationships. This is my first one that lasted over a year
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2024.05.15 15:36 sankalp_pateriya Happy Birthday to the man himself, Tyler Felony! He got no chill! Man is casually flexing his Rolex to a troll on TL!
2024.05.15 15:36 ThrowRA66199 I (M28) forgot my GFs (F28) birthday and I feel horrible - Is there anything more I can do?
Hi all, (longish post incoming),
For a little over 3 years I've (M28) been in an LDR with my gf (F28). I have struggled immensely with the insecurities inherent with an LDR especially since we are barely able to see each other (although that was likely to change in a few months). Despite this, I love her dearly and want things to work. We normally communicate daily and I make sure to provide words of affirmation often because they are honest and I want her to know how I feel about her.
Unfortunately, yesterday I screwed up in a massive way. Every year we would wish each other a happy birthday. She doesnt expect much, she knows the limitations the nature of the LDR imposes, but even a simple acknowledgement would have made her day. Not only did I completely forget, but I barely messaged her that day. At the end of the day she made sure I knew what I did. She is understandably angry and upset. I feel awful.
Completely in truth, the month leading up to her birthday I went down my spiral of insecurity. She had been trying to go out more and had fam plans to travel abroad (to my country, the US), and while I was very supportive and encouraged her to do so, internally I progressed into a terrible paranoia. I was also hurt by the thought of her traveling to my country (but different state), and not seeing her. I began hanging on every message she would send me, overanalyzing our conversations, and became worried she would come back and say she'd found someone else and things werent working out. I tried to hide this because I knew this was something I needed to resolve internally, and I was embarrassed.
I was so consumed by these thoughts to the point where I lost sight of such an important day. And I chose the day which happened to be her birthday to distance myself from messaging her until I was in a better place (just for the day). I justified it in my head already that she was losing interest (complete paranoid bs btw)
When I saw her message, I was distraught and disgusted with myself. I sent her an audio message after numerous failed attempts profusely apologizing, stating there was no excuse for my behavior (there isn't), and was as honest as I could be about my insecurities. In my recent paranoia over hoping things would work, this manifested in an ironically self-centered behavior. I also told her I took off work the following day, and cleared my schedule completely just in case she wanted to spend time, and that this would never happen again. I wanted her to know that she is important to me, and I want to devote my time to her. She replied today saying she did not want to do anything with me today and she would not message today.
As I final gesture, I even sent her a screenshot of the calendar file, to show that I had set a phone/computer reminder in the days leading up to her birthday as a failsafe (I had a friend's wedding that weekend and family life events + Mother's Day and did not want to forget).
What do you think of the scenario? Is this salvageable? I know I screwed up terribly.
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2024.05.15 15:33 tmamone Happy birthday, Brian Eno!
2024.05.15 15:33 rjflesher Happy birthday to me! đđđ
2024.05.15 15:30 beanofalltrades Real ID scanned as fake! Longg post to vent.
Iâve seen some older posts on here about this but was shocked when this happened to me over the weekend. I am 23(F) so I am on the younger side and usually still get carded. I went to the liquor store friday night with my bf and both of us were carded and checked at the door by security and the older lady working rung us out with no problems and didnt ask for my ID. The next day, I went with my bf, his mom, and his sister to the same store while they were getting their drinks and decided to pick up some stuff I hadnt the night before. We were not checked at the door but it was the same security guard from the night before and same cashier. I go first and she asks for my ID and it scanned red and she immediately says âYEP THIS IS FAKEâ. I just stood there in disbelief and said um its not its my real ID so idk what to say and she went to get a manager. Another woman comes out and as shes walking up to the counter it looks like shes scanning my ID with her phone, but looking back I think she took a picture of it. She tells me that my ID is fake, she canât serve me, and she wonât be giving my ID back. At this point, my bf tells her I need my ID back we travelled from another state and need to get back and his sister explains that Iâm of age and we just went through airport security and I need my ID. Another manager comes out a man maybe in his 30s/40s and scans my ID again and is looking at it and tells me itâs just hard because it looks real but scans fake. The security card then arrives and is checking it with his black light and proceeds to tell the manager itâs a real ID. I explain to the manager that I just got a new one a month ago because we moved and I needed to change my address and he then asks me for my address, birthday, full name and I give him all the information. My bfs mom at this point also agrees that she can vouch for me because they are obviously of age. His sister also got a new ID a few days after me from the same DMV and asked them to see if hers gives them problems because she is as she said clearly of age. Of course hers scans real đ« From there, he leaves and says he needs to make a call and when he returns he tells me heâs sorry and he believes me he really does but he canât serve me. I have been calm the entire time and I let him know I understand and that Iâm genuinely confused because this is my real ID and I just got it. He tells me the scanner says birthdate not coded and maybe to go back to the DMV and tell them what it said. The whole time him and I are talking the original cashier is continuing to ring out others as the other - I believe assistant manager- is staring daggers at me with the nastiest stuck up look on her face as if she caught me in a lie. As we are about to leave I say not to be a smartass, but if I had a fake ID and I came in with these three why would I try to purchase something and give you my ID when I could have just had them buy it but that again I understand he cant serve me its just odd. He then says maybe youâre just a clever one and tells my party if anyone wants to buy something similar to what she was getting, I cant stop you I just cant serve you as he points to me. All in all my interaction was fine once he arrived it was just so frustrating to be telling the truth and being looked at like a liar by the women working there. Again, not to discredit them just doing their jobâI just really didnât appreciate the ignorant attitudes I was getting from them when I was cooperating and being kind. ANYWAY I am going to the DMV today to get another one and see what the issue is since mine is set to expire in a few months and I only did a change of address on the last one and we will actually be in the same town for memorial day weekend and I will try again then to make sure my ID works. Sorry for the long post this has been eating me alive since it happened Saturday because I hate the fact that they dont know me and think I am a liar and was trying to get one over on them just needed to vent. I have this desire to be liked and I know that its a problem but even little things like this make me so upset because they were very clearly judging me and think I was lying and Iâm trying to learn how to not let that affect me as much anymore but its hard. Thanks for letting me vent !
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2024.05.15 15:29 Expert-Berry-9079 Would I be the bridezilla for telling my bridesmaids they need to step it up and be more involved and communicate better or they would not be a bridesmaid anymore and I would be replacing them with someone else?
This is my first ever post and want to know if I'm being irrational or not, so thought why not ask reddit. Also dont know if this is in the correct subreddit? If its not meant to be in this one please point me to where I should post, and it is a long one and kinda involves two stories. One bridesmaid I want to send a text to give a kick up the bum and the other I want to move down to a guest.
People in the story
Myself L - F28
Bridesmaid A - Alex (friends for 12 years) - Thinking of moving down to a guest.
Bridesmaid B -Beth (friends for 7 years) - Want to give a kick up the bum.
Both bridesmaids are separate friends from different times of my life.
H - (Friend 4 years) Not a bridesmaid.
Story-
I got engaged to my fiancé in June 2022, and asked Alex and Beth to be my bridesmaids straight away as always knew I wanted them involved in our day. In November 2022 we booked our venue for November 2024. Since June 2022, we didn't do anything together for the wedding as everything was so far away, I booked a dress experience with Alex, Beth, My mum, nan and sister in November 2023. I didn't find my dress but we had a lovely day, I booked more appointments at other shops, neither of my bridesmaids could come to the other appointments due to it being close to festivities and having other plans, which was fine and said not to worry if I found the dress we would arrange in the new year to all go together and have lunch after to talk wedding bits and pieces.
I did find the dress so sent photos in our group chat, and said would arrange a date in the new year to take them to see it and have lunch as previously spoke about.
So in mid Jan, I sent a message to arrange a weekend day when we could all do this, I did have to ask a few times for dates that could be done as neither of them responded, but we got a date booked in and I phoned the shop to say that I would be bringing my two bridesmaids to see the dress, so they were lovely and said they would have the dress up out the way so it can be a surprise for them.
During this time the bridesmaid dresses had arrived, and I was unsure on them so asked if they would mind coming over to try them on so I would know to send them back or not, Beth and my sister came about 2/3 days later to try them on and we spoke about my hen and asked if I should set up a group chat so they can start planning it as it was now Feb 2024, and didn't want it to leave it late to plan and arrange it. Which they agreed to so the next day I set up the group and then left it.
Alex couldn't come to the dress try on as she doesn't drive, so arranged for me to take it to her when I had time or for me to take it to the wedding dress show day and she could take it then.
The day we had prearranged rolled around and Beth text me about 2 hours before due to to leave to say she unfortunately couldn't make it due to having a stomach bug and not being able to hold anything down and apologised, I was disappointed but understood it is not something that can be helped and definitely don't want to go into a shop full of white dresses if not feeling great. So said that was fine and I hoped she got better. Then about 20 minutes before we were due to leave to pick up Alex from where she was due to meet us after dropping her son to her mums, I get a text to say she had been up early with her son and forgot what time it was and then realised she had left it too late to come and meet us, so she would no longer be coming she did also say maybe we had to have a talk about her being a bridesmaid as she had a lot going on. This I was angry at, and I did have a cry before I left for the shop as I had looked forward to this day for a while and on the day both had cancelled, and when I got to the shop the ladies were so lovely but also hurt for me that both had cancelled on the day of as they were expecting myself, sister and my two bridesmaids. Me and my sister had a great day and I asked how my hen planning was going. She said not well and that both Alex and Beth had been very quiet and not helpful. It was also Alexs birthday soon after this appointment so I had bought her gifts to the day to give to her, just small gifts that were to make her smile. On her birthday I sent a text and got no response which is unlike her to not even respond thank you as she has done in previous years, but shrugged it off as being busy. She made a post on facebook saying how she was thankful for all of her friends for getting her wonderful gifts on her day etc. I text her the next day to say I had her gift with me and that I had planned on giving it to her on the appointment day, but she could come and get it or I could drop it off when I was next free to which I then got a reply.
I sent a text the next day after this into our group chat, to say that as both me and my sister are the most flexible with our time, we would be leaving it up to them to if they want to plan a date to go and do this again, and that i would like us to get together still to plan some bits out and we were both more than happy to go to their houses if that made it easier for them. ( this was sent in Feb, nothing has happened since on this front)
I then didn't hear from either of them properly until end of Feb, I had tried to reach out to both about things that weren't the wedding as I normally would anyway however I either got short responses or nothing. Around march time things seemed to go back to normal with both Alex and Beth responding fairly normal for our friendship.
I then spoke to my sister around mid March, again asking how the hen planning was going, and she was getting quite stressed with it as neither bridesmaids were responding in the chat along with everyone else, and if Alex did respond it was also a no to her ideas without giving another idea in its place. I told her that if i needed to be added back in to help then I would, however I did have someone who maybe able to help. By this point
This is where my friend H comes in, she and I have been friends for a 4 years but she lives around 4 hours away from me, and wanted my two oldest friends as my bridesmaids. We dont get to see each other often however we try to ring each other once every month and have a 2/3 hour long catch up on our lives, and it was around this time we had our call so I spoke to her about everything that has been happening, and she said she would be happy to help my sister plan the hen. Which she did and Beth stepped us also after not being too active. Alex however did not and she is also unsure on whether she can come to the hen in itself due to childcare. Which is fine and I plan on doing a afternoon brunch thing for those who wanted to come but couldn't.
We are now in May with 6 months to go, neither have given RSVPs to the wedding and I havent seen either of them since November 2023. I want to get together to talk things like makeup artist, hair things i want to buy them as gifts etc but i dont seem to be getting anywhere.
Whilst going on through all of this I have tried multiple times to get Alex on the phone as we normally would when we hadn't seen each other for a long time, one night i waited 3 hours for her to call as she said she could but then kept moving the time back and back, by 3 hours of waiting I had enough and said would try again tomorrow to which again she just didn't pick up and text to say she would call later, she didn't. By this point Id had enough and spoke to my partner about it all and relooked back on our friendship. I had been there at her lowest moment taking time off work to help and support her as her family who she lived with didn't step up to help, over the last 2 years it had always been me asking her for a call or texting her first or to go over and see her, with her only initiating to go to hers to see her once. When she got married I wasnt a bridesmaid but still did bridesmaid things like get ready with her on the day and spend the night with her the night before as her bridesmaids didnt do any of that so she would have been getting ready alone etc. She has been there for me in the past when I needed it however in the last few years its been a lot more one sided. We hadn't seen each other in months so I went to hers to catch up and have dinner whilst I was there she got a phone call from another friend and she answered and had a 20/30 minute conversation with them, whilst I sat there so i was worried it was an emergency once she got off the phone I did ask if everything was okay and did i need to go etc and she said no it was just a catch up, we call each other nearly everyday. Which I did get mad at as when I go to hers I barely even speak to my fiancé as want to give her all my attention and found it rude she didn't give me the same courtesy if it had been an emergency then that is not an issue.
So I am asking am I being a bridezilla for wanting to give them a kick up the ass or moving them down to a guest for the day? And asking my friend H to see if shed like to be a bridesmaid instead?
Ive tried to include as much info as possible and give the main bits.
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2024.05.15 15:25 Pumpiyumpyyumpkin To my Ex and Oh! (XO)
I'm not sure why I'm writing to you here.
Am I hoping you'll read it or maybe I just wanted to let it all out so I can heal? Either way I'll let my heart write it all out.
When I entered into a relationship with you, I honestly told God, "Ohh no, I think I found him. The guy who'll teach me a lesson and break my heart." Lol đ
You're my first love, my first boyfriend, my first boy bestfriend.
I envisioned so many firsts with you. I understood that in relationships, hurts and disappointments are inevitable so I was ready for it. I wanted to know what kind of a girlfriend I was going to be. How much can I love a person? How much can I love you? That was the goal. To love you with all my heart. And in order to test my limits, I knew I had to give it my all. For how would you know your limits, if you wouldn't push and give your best? And lo and behold! When you truly love someone, it knows no limits! LOL
I don't easily give my energy and attention to men. My boundaries towards my interaction with men are pretty clear. But since you were my boyfriend, I didn't hold back. I made sure you get the best girlfriend in the world. Lol I made you feel loved. I made sure you were heard. I made sure you are understood. I made sure you were respected. I made sure you are important. I can't say that I put you in a pedestal. I just thought true love requires vulnerability. It knows no ego.For how can you love, when ego is on the way?
But here comes the Ohs! đ„č
Oh! He wasn't that interested in me. You weren't that affectionate towards me though it seems like you were with your past exes. I wasn't into material stuff, but wouldn't it be nice to have a boyfriend who makes real effort to make you feel special?
Oh! He prioritizes his friends over me. I would always find myself getting whatever's left from you and getting countdowns on how many more minutes I have left to spend with you before you do something else. You only message me when you're about to fall asleep. Sometimes I don't hear from you at all.
Oh! He doesn't make me feel included. It's like I was not part of his world at all. He talks and sees me only when he feels like it. I'm always the last one to know about his whereabouts. I didn't feel I mattered in his life, to the point I questioned, "Am I in a relationship or single?" Because I've never felt so single in my life than when I was with you. Lol
Oh! There's just many more sketchy things I'd rather not mention here.
Despite everything, I chose to look back with grace, because I truly love you. I had to break my heart to understand what true love should feel and look like. I got to know myself better in loving you. What I really want in a partner. How to love a partner. It's not like I cracked the code in having a healthy and lasting relationship. But loving you, made me happy. Happy because I saw how capable I am to love someone. And it's the most beautiful thing I've ever done in my life. Despite the hurt, I have no regrets. I learned something valuable I can carry with me till my last breath. Thank you for letting me love you. Now, I know how to love the next man, who'll love me with all his heart, better. Thank you to my Ex and Oh! Sorry for the hurt brought of me breaking up with you. You've kind of deserve it. Lol There's no way I can unlove you, but I've already made peace that our love story has already ended. I wish us both healing and true love. Bye and I'll see you when I see you!
To everyone reading this, I hope the heartbreaks wouldn't stop you from loving someone fully again. Try to fully heal first, love and respect yourselves. It may take awhile to find your person. But what's important is that you can say, I have loved truly, so I have lived. â€ïž
Cheers to our Exes and Ohs! đ
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2024.05.15 15:23 konorM Cream cheese products sold at Aldi, other supermarkets, recalled in dozens of states due to possible salmonella (including Florida)
https://thehill.com/business/4663900-cream-cheese-products-sold-at-aldi-other-supermarkets-recalled-in-dozens-of-states/ Happy Valley items recalled:
The recalled cream cheeses can be identified by the codes and dates below:
- Whipped Cream Cheese Spread:
- UPC Code: 4099100101881
- Sell-by dates: 08/30/2024, 08/31/2024, 09/01/2024, 09/03/2024, and 09/04/2024
- Chive & Onion Cream Cheese Spread
- UPC Code: 4099100101751
- Sell-by dates: 09/13/2024 and 09/22/2024
- Cream Cheese Spread
- UPC Code: 4099100101737
- Sell-by dates: 09/01/2024, 09/08/2024, and 09/15/2024
- Strawberry Cream Cheese Spread
- UPC Code: 4099100101744
- Sell-by dates: 09/08/2024 and 09/15/2024
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