Cool free bbm stuff

I’m a lvl 375 character and I’m so utterly pumped to see all the new players. It’s my absolute joy to craft you a set of lvl 10 leather armor with all the mods even if you’ll stop using in two days time (not sarcasm).
I’m pretty proud of my camp design and anytime a player takes the time to explore the whole thing I’ll always give them a goodie bag.
If I’m doing an emote-a-thon with a low level player I’ll always ask if they need anything (just not my fuel).
I say all this because I love to help new players, give build advice, and actually use all of the knowledge I’ve picked up on this game over the years. Plus I no longer have storage issues as I’m constantly just handing stuff out for free.
HOWEVER….. multiple people have noticed my level and made straight up demands over area chat. “Give me stimpacks, give me fuel, build me power armor.” If it was possible, I would grab my bloodied fat man and launch a mini nuke right up your *******. Rude.
Politeness goes a long way! I will drop whatever I’m doing just to nuke the camp of the next person who asks this way.
Vets are happy to help, this is one of the better gaming communities I’ve ever encountered and I hope all the new players are excited to contribute to it. Just don’t be a d***.

I have a dumb idea but I think it’d be fun.
Remember the sewers of Dalaran? It was THE place to hang out for a lot of pvpers. It’s what gave me the motivation to get better because I was surrounded by better players, and I made some friends that taught me stuff.
Anyway, the new expansions lack a good “hang out” spot for PvPers. But what if there was a way you could hang out at an “arena” and random matches would phase in and be visible while you’re hanging out there.
So you could just watch a random match going on. Additionally, it could have a “pit” that’s a free for all zone like the sewers.
Call it the brawlers guild area or something, and make it a recurring thing in every xpac.
Just my thoughts on how to get more people into PvP

I’m 24f and I have one more year of grad school left. It’s always been hard for me to make friends. Even the friends I do have, I just feel like they think I’m weird and they feel bad for me.
I immigrated here when I was in the 6th grade. All throughout middle & high school, I was picked up immediately after school (I joined sports, so immediately after practice), couldn’t have my phone with me at night (until the end of my senior year lmao), only hung out with people outside of school 1-2 times a MONTH, have only been able to “sleep over” at a friend’s place once or twice ever, it was “wrong” to bring people to my place bc it was my “family’s” place and my parents couldn’t “relax” if a friend was over (my parents and my friends have never been in the same house before bc I never could bring anyone over), I was expected to be in the living room at almost all times & couldn’t really be in my room with the door shut, I couldn’t even go to a 7/11 by myself. Idk I just remember telling people I had really really strict parents. I almost feel crazy writing this because I feel like they never actually told me any of that and I just chose to do all that. But the more I get older, the more I feel like my I just never got a chance to make friends and develop friendships. Thankfully I always had 1-2 close friends throughout middle-high school. And all throughout college, I mean I have some friends, but I have a hard time deepening friendships.
I get jealous when I see other people’s old videos of their childhood friends and them hanging out like normal kids. I wish I got to go outside my house more and hang out with people outside of school and sports more. I sound like such a baby, and I’m an adult now, but I just feel like it’s impacting me. I never thought it would, but I just wish I was normal.
I think I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that my family was not normal. I never wanted to admit it, but as much as my parents love me and tried their best, I do think they messed me up. From my parent’s overprotection to their anxiety that something was going to happen to me to my dad’s anger to getting berated for 6 hours straight for something small and pretending like it didn’t bother me, and I have never voiced this to my parents.
My parents are different people now. Much calmer, my sister is still in highschool and it seems like she live a more normal life, going out with friends, and I know I shouldn’t be but I’m jealous of that. My boyfriend thinks I should bring this up to them, but my parents and I just don’t have that kind of relationship. We don’t “talk” like that and I don’t want to hurt them especially because they tried their best. We were so poor when we first came to the US and we were going through it together along with getting familiarized to living in a whole new country.
But sometimes I just wish I could have the heart to just let this all out. I have literally never acted out against my parents. I just wish I had a more normal teenage life and just did whatever I wanted to do. I was always so scared of them. And idk I feel like I started writing about friendships and it came to this haha, but now mostly friendship is impacting me the most, I feel.
I have a boyfriend of like 2 years and 4 months. I’ve slowly been telling him stuff, but I’m scared to reveal my whole self. He’s probably gonna think I’m not actually the girl he thought I was.
It’s just hard because I try to tell myself affirmations and listen to audio books and keep telling myself throughout the day to feel good. But why can’t I just be normal. I wish I just had a normal childhood.
I started seeing a free therapist a few weeks back and it’s been helpful a little, but eventually I want to find one I could pay for. I’m not sure if I’m looking for advice, but I don’t want people to feel bad for me. I just wanted to voice that I feel lonely, and I just wish I had a normal upbringing.

First thing : I know gigastructure isn't updated to 3.12 WHICH IS WHY I'M PLAYING STELLARIS 3.11 ERIDANUS
So I've been playing the frameworld origin to get a taste because i wanted to try virtuality on it whe the mod updates to 3.12 and it's been PAIN
First thing you learn when checking the info is that the ascension effects are slashed by 3/4th and it cost twice as much to ascend. ok maybe the origin is that powerful. Then the game starts, let's talk a bit about the basic features of the frame world

• you have 3 options to add a station modules planetary feature who expend the frame world :
  • planetary decision to spend 400 influence, this option also adds a reorganised logistic feature that speeds up build and decision time
  • planetary decision to spend 600 alloy (this option will increase cost (/!\ not base cost, so first is 15% second is 15% of 115% etc) by 15% each time it is used) this option adds a secondary feature giving 0.5 building slot (isn't that great ? with enough of these you can forget the housing district right ? this is forshadowing)
  • harvesting asteroids, cost 25 influence, for every 4 it will add a mining district slot and allows you to build 1 more district so you can build it unlike vanilla minor orbitals. This one doesn't tell you it will add the station module so it might be a bug idk, it is cheap but requires a good spawn. In 3.12 it will also compete a lot with the arc furnace kilo structure, not to mention stuff already in giga like the great asteroids manufacturies producing like 2500 out of thin air or the asteroid canons
• finally building a planetary outpost (which is said to be the equivalent of colony ship) for some forsaken reason cost as much as the colony ship + 50 influence AND it's immobilizing your consturction ship for 2 YEARS. Just why ? are the bonus that powerful ? i don't think so, you faster planetary decision and pop growth but no frame world extension AND THEY COUNT AS MUCH AS COLONIES TOWARD EMPIRE SIZE !! costing that much ressources you desperately need for frame world extension, i don't think it's worth building at all (don't worry about the pop growth speed, you don't want overpop, and you can't build jobs faster than they grow)

Now that the basics of the frame world extensions are covered, let's talk about the disticts and planetary management. I didn't increase the building slots AND IT WAS PAIN.

• your only planet has a size 16 with 12 building slots, at the start you have 5 unbuild districts
• at the start you can build districts for housing, alloy, consumer good, energy, minerals and food, they give 2 housing and 2 jobs

Naturally i ended up capped pretty fast on how much research and unity i could produce. 2 slots for the alloy/CG buildings, 1 more for the mineral 1 for the energy it wasn't producing much

• refinery districts are pretty cool, each one is the equivalent of 1 ancient refinery building. no housing tho. They are buildable after the first refinery you research and unlock 1 more job for each refinery
• you unlock the unity distrcit with colonial bureaucracy tech (T2 unity building) THE DISTRICT COST AS MUCH AS THE ONE ON AN ECUMENOPOLIS (900 minerals, 45 rare crystal) FOR 2 HOUSING AND 4 JOBS (ecu has 10 housing 6 jobs). THIS IS A TREND
• you unlock the research district with T2 labs, now i don't know for you but recently i've been getting unlucky, getting T2 labs 50 years into the game IT'S NOT FUN, frame world is STARVED for building slots, research and unity should be buildable at base. OH DID I MENTIONED IT ALSO COST AS MUCH AS THE RING WORLD'S VARIANT 900 MINERALS AND 45 EXOTIC GAZ AND LIKE THE UNITY ONE IT'S 4 JOBS 2 HOUSING ? WHY !? please, use the habitat one
• you unlock entertainment district with the T2 holotheater, once again, ecu cost of 900 minerals, 45 exotic gaz, and same nerfs of 4 jobs and 2 housings
• you unlock security districts with T3 capital building, again ecu cost 900 minerals, 45 volatile motes, 2 housing 5 enforcers
• commercial district with T2 tradfe building, again ecu cost 900 minerals 45 rare crystals, 2 housing, 2 merchant 4 clerk
• stronghold district, i guess from a maginot world, 900 minerals 45 motes, 4 jobs 2 housing as usual

Surely you've started noticing the trend of a lot of jobs, but half are homeless. That's right, turns out you ACTUALLY STILL NEED TO BUILD HOUSING DISTRICT LMAO. Good thing virtual pops don't need as much housing. it's sad for the clerk job bonuses tho
Anyway, at this point of the game i start having access to some kilo structures, and i'm still not having a good time :

• researching the habitat tech lets you salvage (destroy and clean up) habitats to expend the frame world. would be great but the AI doesn't build that much habitat in gigas
• i discover my beloved asteroid manufactury has been nerfed. now building it give access to a building giving 10 jobs depending on the asteroid it was built on and the type of industry you said you wanted. anyway, now it's useless to me, starved for building slots as i am
• i discover that orbital ring add the decision to add processing secondary orbitals to the frame world, giving the effect of orbital rings module to the ressource boosting buildings similar to how it works in ring world
• you can roll an engeneering tech "molten shipyard facility" which unlock a decision "Expend Heavy Industry", it cost 10k minerals and 150 influence (roughly half an ecu) and it has the feature to make the alloy and CG districts as dog as the other advanced districts i already complained about : ecu cost, nerfed job/housing. Take it tho, you really really need the districts

I read in the manuel that the archology project is only useful for rogue servitors so they can have a sanctuary archology, how about it also un nerfs the districts to actual ecu/ringworld level ?
Then i finally hit the megastructures point of the game (praise be the yddrassil complex, close second to the old asteroid manufacturies and now my absolute fav of the mod), only a few affect the frame world

• orbital ringworld archology : usually this megastructure adds 20% district to the planet and is upgradable twice to 40% and 60%. should be great for the frame world right ? well "expend station infrastructure" costing 200 influence and 15k alloy for a great 5% district bonus instead ... my frame world is size 50 at this point and i'm getting bullied by everyone around me. The enhancing techs do nothing so while i have a size 50 planet + 2/3 districts, byt that point other empires will have a fat size 30 ecu + 18 that has about 50% more metalurgist jobs than the frame world that cannot even go full alloy world because it's the only planet i have. Was the nerf truly needed ?
• planetary scaled computing complex add upgrade data facilities cost 25k alloy, 300 influence 100 cystals for 10 researcher jobs and +25% science output
• penrose sphere + integrated penrose sphere : you get the decision to integrate penrose sphere to the frame world, it will start building it and upon completion, the district will go from 2 jobs to 8 with a mineral upkeep added. good, i need the districts
• matter decompressor, similar to the above, also uncaps the district limit for minerals
• Some techs (habitat, ring worlds) reduce the cost to extend frame world with alloy, but at this point i'm paying like 15k+ anyway, i might as well just spam more megas (also the reduction is making the scaling cot go from +15% to +10% woaw)

I haven't hit the giga engineering part yet (as tetradimensional engineering refuses to roll), but I haven't had that slow of a start since knights of the toxic gods, it seems to me the origin is terrible, everything is overpriced, you get your planet overcrowed FAST especially with wars (and i really don't like the maintenances workers, they increase upkeep and barely sustain themselves), and everything that should have made it good (only 1 planet to ascend, low empire size) either isn't there or has been nerfed to the ground
Did i mentioned that the world gets a "high density planet scaling" feature that add upkeep, reduce stability and reduce job production ? just why ? anyway i think i'll pick the birchworld origin instead

When LOST was originally airing I remember we had tons of theories that ultimately went nowhere. I was satisfied with where they finished, but what if you guys could rewrite the show, what are some plot points you wish they'd embraced, directions they'd gone, stories they'd told differently, etc?
I'd like to have seen the sickness be a real thing and not a placebo. That would've been a cool way to get rid of all the redshirt extras early on and force the Losties to either figure out a solution or get outta dodge. We theorized for a long time that smokie was a cloud of nanobots created by Dharma in an experiment to protect their borders, but something went wrong and it went rogue protecting the entire island. Or smokie was supernatural and guarded the island from intruders looking to abuse whatever healing/mystical powers it has. And the black box was a fun one. I wanted that to be like the ending to Outlaw Star, when they meet the machine god at the galactic leyline that can manipulate reality. Like, there's something on the island that can manipulate reality and bring stuff there or change things off island. A sort of wish granting device that smokie guards. Or small stuff, like Mikhail really being Dharma would've been a cool way to get some close to modern day Dharma lore. Maybe a different way of getting the Losties off island. Dharma rescues them to keep them away from their experiments but then ends up picking them off after they find out the Losties learned some secrets?
I dunno, ultimately happy where it ended. I think I just miss the old days when theorizing was the best part of the show.

Hello everyone! It's about time I finally posted an update to this and thanks to some contributions, now's a better time than ever!
In case you're new to this and haven't seen my previous post - I brainstormed a way to play AC6 as if it were a roguelike game, starting from literally nothing and obtaining new parts each mission. This way you have to heavily improvise your build and work with the whims of RNGsus to overcome everything Rubicon throws at you. If you're bored of the same 'ol PvE experience, this could be something just for you!
The rules are explained in detail in this here spreadsheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1AiQLuzCRLoocbEs_tr6GFUXRrMvDtGTdV4NOaG2Fbwc It also contains the link to the dedicated webapp created by u/breakfast_tacoMC, which lets you easily roll for part rewards and keep track of the ones you own, even if you refresh or close the tab. For convenience, I'll also link it right here: https://ac6-roguelike-challenge.com/
The briefly summarize: you start with the Jailbreak frame, starter internal components and no weapons (optionally you can roll Stage 1 parts until you roll a single weapon). After every mission, you roll for randomized rewards. The further you get in a playthrough, the better your chances to score endgame gear become. If you die, you start your run all over again. Can you complete 3 full playthroughs of the game on randomized equipment?
For returning players, here are the two key rules changes from the previous version of the run:

• loot rolls are much more forgiving and allow for some strategizing - if you don't like your mission reward, you can reject it and reroll for something hopefully more useful, but you have to accept the second roll no matter what; this way you can get rid of some chaff rolls that could otherwise end a run early as well as better specialize for the endgame; challenges allow you to roll twice and get both parts, no rerolls, just as before
• speaking of challenges, they were heavily overhauled and now focus less on completionist runs and more on actual combat effectiveness, which in turn makes many of them much harder to pull off and will require some risk/reward assessment; to balance that out, EVERY mission has a challenge now, meaning that if you're confident in your skills, you could potentially jumpstart your parts stockpile in anticipation of tougher missions.

Massive thanks to u/breakfast_tacoMC again, whose work on the webapp really got my motivation going to rework some of this stuff.
Feel free to let me know what you think of the new version and if you do give it a shot, I hope you have fun and wish you the best of luck!

Hello there! Yesterday at about 10pm i dosed up on 20mg of Muscimol. It was in a form of gummies that i had tested first (i posted the results of that test on this sub earlier).
It was a very interesting experience, firstly i started noticing some body high and a light sleepiness. At about 12pm i started to be really sleepy and decided to lay in my bed. My mind started to generate stuff on its own and i started "dreaming" and creating dream like stories in my head while being awake to process it. I even had the dream going on in my head while analyzing it and having an inner dialogue about how cool its is at the same time. After some time it started to be really hard to concentrate on some topic and thinking about it. After some time i fell asleep and woke up at about 6am today, being really well rested and feeling a kind of inner peace, similar to what i feel the next day after LSD.

...but I had to say something about what happened last night. So I had this kind of stray track that I made which sounded pretty good but I wasn't sure what to do with it. I made it on accident when I first started messing around with Suno. I was trying to make a song that sounded like Ill Nino and I thought making a flamenco numetal song was a workaround. Well it wasn't. It made some flamenco songs (which sound pretty good) and this one stray track which is kind of numetal-ish but is singing about flamenco guitars. That's not to say it doesn't sound good, because it sounds really good.
So I didn't know what to do with this, I was planning to make a type of flamenco-numetal fusion with all of the generations since they're all singing about the same thing. Suno made them to be part of the same song but sonically the metal and flamenco are worlds apart, which ironically, is the subject of the song. Somehow I think it could work, but I had this planned and I was thinking of putting it out in the meantime as one of the "stray" songs. I started working on it yesterday, and despite the part about the flamenco guitar, is thematically related to the next project I'm planning out.
So I'm working on this song trying to generate some suitable pieces for it, and It just started snowballing out of proportion. It just kept getting bigger and bigger, like it just grew into what it wanted to be. Whenever I generate a song, regardless of what it sounds like, I hear a different version in my head which is what I think it should be. So the song plays, I listen to it, and based on what I hear, I plan a different arrangement. Then I can listen to different parts of the song, and decide where they will go in that arrangement and I go on in this way arranging the song.
I'm doing this last night and it's working out good, and the song just grows into a 9 minute monster. Although I wanted to make a "stray" song to put out in the meantime, this song is too close thematically to the next project, and while I didn't plan for it to be on it, it belongs there. I didn't want to make more popish songs but this song is more gothic pop power metal. The way this album is coming out, I think goth pop power metal is going to be a dominant sound.
I might also consider making this a double album, or a trilogy, just because of how many songs I have on this subject. When I planned these albums out, I planned to have 10 albums of 10 songs each, and I planned the subject and theme of the album and I have a ton of album covers generated for each one to choose from. When generating the songs for these albums, I ended up generating way more than 10 for some of these albums for various reasons. Sometimes they weren't what I wanted, other times they were coming out too good and I just kept making new generations. For others I started tweaking the lyrics and inserting my own, and so many different things happen randomly, sometimes good and bad. To say I have at least 10 potential albums worth of music is an understatement. Maybe 15-20, and this is just counting Suno. Aside from that, I still have some credits in Suno I need to use up by today, which can produce enough songs for potentially another 2-3 albums. From Udio I have 25 songs generated ready to be worked on aside from various snippets I've already generated that I have on the site still which I can extend further, and I have a lot of credits on there still. That's all just to emphasize how much potential I am sitting on.
But what I really wanted to talk about was the song I made. I'm not a big fan of power metal, I think it sounds cool and has some cool album covers, but it's not something that I ever really got into. I didn't plan to make power metal, I didn't ask Suno to make power metal songs, but that's just what came out. And while it's not what I wanted to make, I can't deny how good these songs are. So while maybe this isn't the music I wanted to make, maybe it's the music I need to make.
About this song, it's actually 8.5 minutes. It might get a tiny bit longer because I'm noticing some sections that could use a little bit of tweaking to fit better in timing. What I really want to talk about is how it sounds. It does sound kind of numetal and has some heft to it. This is definitely the heaviest of the goth pop power metal songs so far. This will be the 5th song for the project and the 4th goth pop power metal song. This song has female vocals and sounds like if Amy Lee from Evan Essence made a song with Slipknot (kind of). It's not super heavy but there is some nice sections with heavy double bass.
What I really like about it, and this is a potential spoiler or clue about what the next album is about, is that there is a part in the song where it sounds like an angel is singing and it sounds like there is some fear or panic in her voice and it fits with the theme of the song so well. It's very eerie and it sounds awesome. The reason why the song is almost 9 minutes long is because the initial generation snippet that I made, I had planned to use as the chorus, but all of the subsquent generations that I made didn't seem to fit with the chorus, so I had to push the chorus way back, and in essence, this song doesn't really have a chorus. It's kind of prog, in a sense, in that it progresses kind of like a story instead of a cycle, like most songs which tend to cycle between verse chorus bridge, etc.
I always wanted to make music like this. When I was younger, it was always my goal to be a musician. I've always heard all kinds of melodies and songs in my head which didn't exist. I would hear music in my dreams and wake up and play the music in my head over and over. I picked up guitar as a teen and always aspired to be in a band. I had a lot of musician friends and friends who were in bands, and I myself joined several bands and made plans to be in bands, but unfortunate life circumstances kept getting in my way and derailed all of my goals. Looking back in retrospect I consider if maybe it was for the better. Knowing what I know now after years of study into the music and enetertainment industry, it's not something that I want to be a part of. I liken it to a den of vipers and I consider that had I formed up with my friends and we had become famous, would I have the wisdom of mind to protect my soul from the evils of the music industry? I'm not so sure, and for that reason I consider that perhaps it was fated to be this way all along. While it seems that I may have missed out on some opportunity, I think that now I have the potential to have my music be heard, without being bound to the music industry. This seems like a decent trade off for me, as the technology exists today where I can easily grow as an independent artist. Now I can share with you all the music I bring.
"This is the flame I bring to you!" - from Smoke & Flame
-p.s. I do have another song I'm working on that's almost finished the recomposition stage, which I will put out as a "stray" song coming soon. This song does sound a little bit like Ill Nino and is a more numetal-ish song, which I think emphasizes why the goth pop power metal songs are calling to me over the more numetal songs. The goth pop power stuff fits the vibe and theme of what I'm trying to make more than numetal does. I'm making music about things that humans may not necessarily be privy to, like higher dimensions, supernatural stuff, etc (I don't want to give too much away) and numetal just doesn't mesh that good with those subjects. The later albums I make will have a more modern sound since those are about more modern topics.

I want to first of all thank my Lord Jesus Christ for helping me pass this exam.
Ok time for writeup. BTW I'm a USMD for those keeping score; shout out to all the IMGs out there working super hard; I couldn't do what you guys do. Seriously.
My first and biggest piece of advice is that this whole exam fear thing is a total reddit psyop designed by midlevels to infiltrate our minds and cause us to doubt ourselves. The haters are trying to sabotage us but do not let them win. This exam is more than doable and frankly I found it to be way easier than expected. Pray, hope, and don't worry.
My scores for those who don't want to read: NBME 26: 59% (4 weeks out); NBME 27: 70% (3 weeks out); NBME 31: 73% (2 weeks out); UWSA1: 76% (1.5 weeks out); UWSA2: 66% (1 week out); Free 120: 69% ;) (5 days out).
Uworld: 100% done at 62%.
In terms of pre-dedicated work; make sure you do anki during your first two years. The difference in stress and baseline understanding between my friends who did anki religiously during their first two years and those who didn't was worlds apart. I'm talking like weeks difference in preparation needed to pass, along with a lot more stress. Doing Anking your first two years is a gamechanger.
In terms of dedicated; I started out doing anki and some light FA reading and maybe 40-60 UW questions a day. I took my first NBME and I knew I was cooked half way through. Felt horrible. Got the score back and honestly wasn't super disappointed with a 59 but my advisor said that I should have scored higher and that kinda stung tbh. Kicked myself in the butt and started reading more advice on reddit, and found Mehlman's free docs. I cannot recommend these enough. They literally changed my entire understanding of the test and how to approach the material. Link to his stuff here. It doesn't inflate your score, it helps you understand what you need to know. I literally went up 11% between my NBME's due to his stuff. Don't skip it.
In between NBME 26 and 27 I did about 80 UW per day as well as a Mehlman doc each day on whatever I was feeling iffy on. And of course Anki. Every day. REVIEW YOUR UW INCORRECTS PEOPLE. I also used an anki addon to find cards based on my uw incorrect questions, which helped me fine tune my daily anki review. Link here.
I was super scared when I took NBME 27 bc I heard people say it was really hard. I said a prayer, dove in, and the difference was night and day. I felt I knew how to approach questions so much better bc of Mehlman. Super pumped when I got the 70; finally saw some serious improvement, and it was great for morale.
Basically for the rest of dedicated until about 1 week out, I did 80-120 UW per day, anki, and 1 to 2 Mehlman docs a day. Approximately every 7-10 days I would take an NBME or UWSA and fine tune my studying based on what I struggled with. Note for UWSA - they're great, but they're not indicative at all of the way questions are presented on the real thing in terms of question structure OR difficulty. Great for content review, but that's about it.
Took the Free 120 about 5 days out; got a 69, and knew I was ready. At that point, I was done with UW so I just did anki, reviewed Mehlman docs every day and also watched Dirty Medicine on topics I was bad at. He's the GOAT.
Finally, the day before the exam, I just went to Mass, went on a nice walk, and hung out with my family. Some people don't do ANY studying on the day before, I personally did about 3-4 hours of just watching Dirty Medicine; I found it helped calm my nerves and kept me sharp.
On the day of, I sat in my chair and just dove in. I was shocked at how straightforwrad it was compared to what I was expecting. The structure is identical to Free 120, but I felt it was easier honestly. May have been just my form, but that's all I have to go on. I personally like to just plow through exams as fast as possible, and you can definitely do that on STEP. I recommend getting up to pee between each section at least, but just bring some snacks with you and keep your head in the game. I would say 50% of this exam is just keeping your cool.
One final thought: Trust your NBME pass prediction %. If it says you're at 99% chance, you're at 99% chance. Don't psych yourself out of that confidence. And if you're at 50% chance, just remember that you can go up, and go up very quickly with the right material. I believe in all of you.
You guys can do this. I am praying for you all and if you have any questions or need help with something, feel free to PM me.

I chose to spend 2 weeks in Rome for my 50th Birthday. First time in Rome but not first time in Italy. We are seeing all the usual big ticket items through the two weeks, and will probably do one or two day trips. (thinking Pompeii, Orvieto/osta antica) We have a booking at night for All’Oro restaurant on the big day…But…I’m looking for some special, memorable, interesting things to do on my actual birthday.
I’ll be starting with visiting a gluten free bakery for breakfast unless someone has another suggestion. I’m a big foodie (but am celiac/gluten free) so perhaps visiting a local market? I’m a video artist, love food, art, modern and ancient, specialty food shops (like truffle shops for example). travel, Leftfield galleries. Do love interesting bespoke and cool shops, but not a huge fan of fashion mainstream brand shopping.
I don’t think I want to spend the day travelling so probably stay close to Rome. Any lovely ideas?

Goruck GR2 26L TB Synik 30 PD travel bag 30L CZ military 36L
I’ve been using the TB S30 for about 3-4 years as EDC and international travel. One bag to Japan several times, around Japan, Philippines, Thailand, and small trips in USA. I want one bag to be a travel bag AND EDC bag.
LOVE the TB organization and front pockets. Nobody can compare. The ease of access, their own volume not stolen by the main compartment, the various sizes to fit each thing you have perfectly. It’s a dream. And a bunch of other cool features.
BUT….to be honest the TB is just not convertible to wear loaded out. The bag sags, and the turtle back design puts all the weight towards the bottom, which sags the bag and loads the weight directly on my sacrum (I’m 5’10). With or without the hip straps it’s uncomfortable; limits mobility, makes you “ass heavy” like a 1982 Nissan 280Z….easy to fishtail in this bag. In other words, you feel a ballast weigh low that swings you around. It hindered me wherever I went, and I never felt comfortable carrying it, especially in Tokyo, for example trying to navigate Shinjuku station (busiest train station in the world) with 20 million people running at you from all sides….fishtailing my heavy ass right and left to make my way through the crowd. I also felt weighed down, “heavy” and less mobile. Like a slow, underbridge troll trying to dance ballet.
Despite the organization, despite the fact it’s an amazing EDC, despite the other neat features…after a few years, I was DONE.
Bye bye Tom Bihn.
Hello other choices!
Peak design….sleek and sultry as all hell. Smooth fabric and beautiful shape. I actually want to have sex with this bag. Lol. But, short story is…bag is a bit long, shoulder straps just OK, sits a little low and not so comfy. Hip straps and great actually, but still anchors you and restricts movement. But the killer for this bag is how it fails as an EDC. Top admin compartment is a fail. Too small gets eaten by internal volume. Other than that you have to get in the main compartment from the back. It’s just weird. Look there are plenty of things to love about this bag. And as a travel bag I think it’s good. But it’s not built for EDC. As sexy as it is, I have to dump it.
Cabin Zero. Amazing value for the price. Really, great straps and back panel. Good zips and compartments, simple and easy packing, and molle attachments. But in short….bag sags when it wear it, making it sit low, pressure on sacrum and all the negative effects that come with that. Like the TB bag in that regard.
Enter Goruck GR2 26L. Amazing. Works as a travel bag *and EDC. Sits high on back, waist and hips free to move (insert salsa dancing gif). You could actually Samba in this thing. Shoulder straps (once sternum strap is added) are perfect. Packs well, quick access pocket right inside second compartment. Second compartment great for EDC. Molle points let you attach some majorly cool shit, customization off the charts. And doesn’t weight that much more than anything else comparable.
I think I might marry this bag 😍

Hi this is regarding the free kit on sims 4. i got the base game on steam but the free kit is not available there so i got it on EA but it doesn't show when I open my game. How do I work this stuff out 😥

I want to preface this by saying that I know that all resources for this mod and related modlists are provided for free and I deeply appreciate that. Nothing against anyone who put all this stuff together, I just want to know if I'm the only one whose spent hundreds of hours getting nowhere or how any of you manage to follow these guides through to completion without ending up with a broken mess. I'm extremely demotivated after wasting my holidays on this.
You start with The Best of Times, which is a walk in the park. Really can't go wrong with this it's so well setup.
If you want mods on top of this, the standard advice seems to be to go through the Wasteland Survival Guide, which I did. It took me a couple days, but I managed. This process wasn't as smooth as The Best of Times, and it's not always clear if I'm supposed to skip a mod I already have or install it again to overwrite something else. The STARS portion of the guide is a little trickier though, and although it's listed as optional, it's also referred to as a gold standard, so I didn't want to skip it. It's easy to miss the installation instructions for STARS because they're on a separate website that the guide does not link to, and the Nexus page for STARS is quite chaotic. Regardless, I made it through all of those two and towards the end it recommends the New Vegas Visual Renewal, and this is about where everything goes wrong.
Even though NVVR says it's compatible with TTW and includes notes for TTW users throughout, the install notes are not as detailed as the previous guides and in some cases the user is left to best determine what the instruction means based on what is on the nexus pages of individual mods. The STARS thing comes up again, a lot of mods from earlier are re-downloaded and overwritten. Regardless I followed all of this to the T right to the end of Renovation, but now it's time to generate LODS. This is another point where it all goes pear shaped.
The VNV LOD Guide is the recommended guide for LODS that NVVR gives us, though it doesn't seem like it includes any LOD patches for thing we did as part of NVVR, and in some cases overwrites things that we did specifically for NVVR. We were warned earlier about Tree LODS but told to install those anyway at the end, and Terrain LOD is listed as optional but we definitely changed terrain LOD stuff during the NVVR. But the official TTW guidance for LOD generation is again to ignore Tree LODs and in addition to all that, NOT to generate a terrain LOD (which I already did and which took 8 hours! It says it will take a long time, it does not specify in the region of 8 hours!) because this will destroy the default, hand painted and optimized LODs.
So now I don't know what to do. I've done this whole process over multiple days and it takes a lot of mental energy to concentrate on all the stuff I need to remember whilst proceeding with each step and all the stuff I need to come back to or keep considering. To make matters worse, I tried to go back to the WSG, but in the last week that got a massive update and looks nothing like the WSG I just installed, and if I start over, I don't even know if the NVVR will be compatible this time or if I have to generate new LODs. How do you guys manage this? How does it not break you?
EDIT: It seems my most reasonable course from here is to start over with the new updated WSG. Is there anything I need to know about properly cleaning my files before I do this?

There has been alot of drama and idk if I'm in the wrong, i need some outside opinion.
For context- I (18f) has been been friends with pretti (17f) for over a year, we meet at school as i transferred here for m senior year of high school. From the start she has been little judgemental of everyone, she loves talking shit about people behind their back , specially her best friend with whom she is stuck like gule and acts like there can't be a better duo of friends in the whole damn school. They both pretty much are alike.
So the catch is pretti and her best friend are in different classes. In our class I'm one of the top students so pretti tries to hang out with me get the benefits of notes and other stuff, and yeah ik she talks shit about me as well. We take tutions together as well. She sometimes passss back handed comments about me , weather it be about my dress out looks or my lifestyle, she hates the fact that i come from a well known and rich family. She always seems to want the things i have and if we ever hang out she always wants me to pay. She even took one of the tshirt i bought for my boyfriend when i was shopping after classes as i had nothing to do that day. She wants me to bring my cars sometimes so we can go for a drive ( I travel by public transport as i wanna be independent) she often sents me pictures of things she wants and asks me to buy it for her.
Now coming to the incident that brings us to the title, few days ago i went to a fancy restaurant with my cousins for a family celebration and uploaded the pictures online, since then she has been nagging me to take them out there as well, she said "you know you got the money , what's the problem you should treat your friends as well yk". I ignored it few times but yesterday i blew up as she passed a comment that rubbed me the wrong way, she said " your father earns well but it is real because you never seem to spend it anywhere, like come on if my dad has that kind of money i will have all kind of trendy outfits and luxury a teenager can imagine of, you never even come to school in your car, and you keep posting about them all the time, are they even yours our you just rent is to show off?"
I had enough at that point and lashed out at her and said some unpleasant words, i can't say it all here but here is a part of it " do you think you are being so cool and funny by putting me down in front of others, oh yeah what else do u even have to be cool with, you should stop being entitled, jealous and envious b*tch so that you can have actually friends and like get a life fr bro, seriously you ask for thing from me all the damn time like don't you have ur freaking parents to provide for u, are they that broke? Why do you feel to entitled to have my money wtf should i pay for you and others all the time you are not entitled to anything and i don't owe you anything either you have no shame at all and yeah about my fathers earning , the amount ur dad earns in year is our monthly expenses so u better keep ur big mouth shut in the places it isn't required ".
Everyone agreed that i was right to say what i said but few say i was out of line.
Today she texted me said i shouldn't have embarrassed her in front of everyone and I'm the AH for that...

Hi everyone, I've been on YouTube for a while now, my account is probably older than some YouTubers have been alive even, it's crazy to think how much Youtube has changed the world and that so many young Gen Z people today don't remember life before Youtube. But anyways, I'm looking to start making my channel active on YouTube and had some questions for everyone, I appreciate anyone who engages in good faith.
-What is the best recommended video editing software to use that is free and also takes into account a simple and understandable interface? I'm not a complete novice, I've used different things before but I don't have a lot of advanced experience like professionals who work on big budget films or anything and I don't actively edit. I'm sure technology for video editing software has continued to evolve over time and I have fallen behind the times, what's all the good new stuff nowadays? I'm just a normal tech savvy-ish person. Just looking for something that has depth and good features to it but not too overwhelming to where the advanced features become more of a distraction rather than anything else. (This question hits two birds with one stone too because I'm a teacher who needs to choose a software to use for editing video clips together for the school I work for as well.)
-I have been on YouTube for a while now, my account was made in 2006 and I have only sporadically uploaded over the years with no goal in mind other than to just upload for fun. I uploaded a couple of videos of talks with celebrities in 2021 got some nice view numbers from 10k-70k (imo as a non-active channel with just 350something subs). Should I continue uploading on my personal account or start from a brand new account? I was thinking to myself, does my account's longevity help with anything at all? Or the videos I just mentioned? I even have a video that was uploaded in 2006. Would audiences care about the old stuff or just new stuff? The thing is too, I know Youtubers get hacked too the more well known you become and if one day (I don't mean to be presumptuous here either by implying I know I will be well known or not, it's just me thinking ahead and being ready) but if I get hacked one day, that in and of itself will suck but I think about all my personal content on YouTube that I've added over the years that I don't want to lose or private videos i don't want others to see out there. This would technically be at risk too. Anyways, these are just some thoughts I've had, I'm wondering what best practices would be. Just make that new channel or maybe move all my personal things into a new channel and make my "old channel" the "new channel".
-Reality is I get busy, I don't plan on starting this project until I'm in a lifestyle where I'm allowed to put in the grind and hours of being a youtuber but if in the event I get a following and then I need to take a break or anything what should I do? Does your momentum suddenly stop and subscribers just leave on their own after not seeing you for a while or do they stick around?
-What's the best thing I should do to work the algorithm in my favor? In terms of best practices when uploading a video, being searchable, and what I should tell subscribers to do when watching? beyond basic hashtags I suppose or hitting like, commenting, and subscribing like everyone else says.
-I think most people will say it's good to have a specific brand or concept/idea for your channel but what if I personally want some variety? (like vlogging, podcasting, video game plays, unboxings, reviews, etc.) Is this just a non-negotiable to just pick one thing and stick to it?
-Should I think about my target audience or just do what I want and leave it to the people to decide if my stuff is good and relevant to them?
-At what point do you start making money from Youtube and this becomes a professional career as opposed to just a hobby? Is it based on views and such? How do you get paid? Is there any extra signing up I have to do beyond just having my YouTube account? Money isn't a huge motivating factor, i don't expect Logan Paul or Mr.beast numbers but it'd be nice to know that making videos could become modest side income or regular income in the future too.
Thank you everyone for your help

For so, so long I have smelled something in my apartment that smelled like gas. I was sick, my roommate was sick, my cats were showing signs of stress. I thought I was insane bc alot of people couldn't smell it like I could. I knew it wasn't okay though, so I was airing out the apartment regularly and checking outlets and stuff. Finally I gave up and got a super nice gas detector. The SECOND I plugged it in it went absolutely buck wild. Told me there was insane levels of gas in my apartment. I plugged it in three different rooms, same results. I finally called fire. Gather my cats to evacuate, wake my roommate, opening doors and windows for the firemen. Obviously, I'm terrified.
When they got there, there were two firemen who came in. An older man who seemed to be in charge, and a younger guy. The older man was the cocky-est mother fucker I've ever seen. At first I was hopeful about this. He seemed experienced. Too bad, so sad. He came in and treated it like it was some massive joke. I was already upset, this did not help. He walked up to my heater closet, I said I had been smelling something from there too, bc I don't know where it's coming from. He looks around, tells me to turn off my ac bc something was burning, and walks out. The younger guy was so nice and tried so hard. He asked me to see the alarm, I showed him it going off, he even brought it out to the truck. Both come back in. Older guy makes a joke about how he had to "call the other trucks coming off". He proceeds to tell me that my gas detector that I bought i know the functions of was picking up the smoke from my ac. At this point I'm practically arguing with him, telling him it doesn't pick up smoke. He tells me "it does". He was condescending and rude. They didn't once check with their own meters. They didn't attempt to help me figure out the alarm. All he did was make a big joke of my fear, aruge with me instead of help or try to understand, and leave. At the end of the day, it doesn't even matter if it was nothing, I was fucking scared.
I figured out I had indeed fucked up the detector somehow. I let it go for months, but I kept smelling it. At one point I even decided I was hallucinating, and I needed to work on my anxiety. It's been me this whole time stressing my cats out. Until I finally figured out my mystery smell was real and coming from under my kitchen sink. It was extremely strong under there.
The fireman was wrong. My gas detector was either wrong or doesn't check for it. It was sewage gas. The matience man came by today. He's really great, I get him often. I couldn't let it go. I told him about the smell. He seemed skeptical, but he told me to be honest. I told him it smelled like gas and it's under my sink. I cleaned it out and told him to stick his head under there, and he'll smell it. He sticks his head under there, just kinda staring under there. I asked if he smells it, he gets up, and tells me it's gas. My apartment has been openly exposed to gas because there is a fucking massive hole connecting my apartment to the building's pipes. He's giving me a bunch of stuff for my kitchen now, because he's cool, and obviously fixing the hole rn.
Fuck you fireman. Full force FUCK you. Other guy, thanks for trying. I'm sorry you work with him. Me, my cats, my roommate, my boyfriend, have all been living with and breathing in sewage gas for MONTHS, if not longer. If you wouldn't have been such a cocky asshole and actually tried to help me this could've been fixed five months ago.
Anyways.. cheers to not breathing in sewage gas anymore.

Everything I log in to this game. There is something free in the atoms shop. Which inevitably gets me looking at all the stuff I could buy... well played Bethesda 👍🏼

Thank you to Space paladin for the canvas and u/Acceptable_Egg5560 for proofreading and critique
Content warning; Educator abuse and syrupy love
[First]-[Prev]-[Next]
Memory transcript: Maarchal , MESEA Astronomers. Date: [Standard Farsul calendar ] January 26th, 3667
PLUNCK
Ponthyts blue stick clattered on the board, rolling around in a circle. Before settling on three. He then pumps his paw and moves to move a soldier that many paces.
“Well, I got you cornered now, whatcha going to do about it?” I smirk at Ponthyts soon to be dashed confidence as I take out my red stick and flip in the air much higher than he did with his own.
It hits the board with a loud clatter, bouncing on each end before settling on rolling. To which it landed on seven. I move my last interceptor through his ranks and take his general. The gobsmacked look on his features was evident, with his previously wagging tail so still it made stone seem fluid.
“I win.”
“How did you do that?”
I rolled my shoulders and readjusted my legs underneath. “Well, you left a clear path for my interceptor.” I pointed to the gaps in his remaining pieces.
“I know that! I mean how did you know you'd get a high enough number to do that? Your interceptor was all the way back here and it's your last red piece!!!”
I lean my head back and lean against the wall behind me. “I didn't, I just saw an opportunity and took it.”
He pointed a digit at me “ Mershit, that was some grandmaster trap!”
I give him the ear position of resignation with a mirthful little grin. “I promise you it was just luck.”
He waves his paw dismissively. “I don't believe you.”
“Well believe it, because I don't plan ahead like that. Want to play another game?”
He shakes his head. “Nah I think four games is enough for one night.” He begins moving the pieces into their containers and folds up the board and places it on top of them. Closing the box. He then stands up and offers me his paw, I use it to pull myself up off the floor.“Well Maarchal, I’ll see you tomorrow at the observatory. I’ll bring the set if you want to play it during lunch if you want.”
I froze, “what! What time is it? He turns over to look at the clock above his strove.
“Ahh about Fifteen minutes past 18.”
“Uh, that's not that late! We could play another game! C’mon let's have a tie breaker!”
He rubs his eyes, “I’m tired and we have work in the morning. Is there something you're avoiding?”
I rub my upper right arm and look off into the corner. “...”
He took on a worried look, “Why don't you want to go home Maarchal?”
I sighed and took a seat at his dining room table. “I… I don't like that house, I’ve lived there since I moved to LIghra six years ago but it's not a… home like here.”
I looked around at the messy abode. Dirty cloaks were strewn about on the back of chairs and the rubbish trough was just barely not overflowing. Paintings either from family or Ponthyts own paw were hanged up in the hallways, and the lightbulbs cast a warm orangish light. While the dishes from our dinner were placed in the sink, covered with animal gravy slathered all over them. It was tidy yet just barely so. A place filled with all the markers of being lived in.
“You've lived here less than a year but it feels like it's always had you in it. I feel … so comfortable here. My own home is so… cold and sterile. I Worked a lot the first few months I moved here. I just never got around to making it a home. It feels so bare, I started to work overtime just to avoid it. Which just made the problem worse.”
He sat down across from me, He put his head in his paws and looked at the scratched wood of his table. He held that position for a minute or two before breaking it and placing his paw on my own. “Maarchal, you are my best friend, I want you to feel comfortable. So if you want you can sleep on my coach, I can also help you make your home feel like one."
​
I shake my head, “no no, I shouldnt of imposed on you. Making myself feel at home is a job I need to do and have been avoiding for far too long. It's just… it's just so much easier to avoid you know?” I grabbed his paw and squeezed it. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
​
I stand up and make my way to his front door before he speaks up.
​
“Uh hey Maarchal?”
​
I turn to address him “yeah?”
​
He shifts in his seat and fidgets with his fingers. “I’m uh, going to Ootra lake next week. I was wondering If you'd like… to come with me? I promise if you don't have a tent I’ll bring you one. We could have a fire, roast some meat on it and share ghost stories and stargaze… if you want?”
​
“ What about work?”
​
He rocks in his chair. “We'd have to call in for a day or so.”
​
I contemplated his words and mulled them over. It would be the first time I’ve ever willingly taken off a day, tarnishing my perfect attendance. But the prospect of spending more one on one time with Ponthyt was overwhelmingly tempting.
​
“Sure, I’d love to go. But I haven't gone camping for years so you will need to bring me a tent.”
​
He leapt from his chair, launching it backwards, before calming himself down. “I’ll take care of all the prep. You just have to come along. I promise it’ll be loads of fun!”
​
I chuckled while I watched his clearly restrained display as I slowly closed the door.
​
I could hear him howl with enjoyment as I turned into the driveway to get to my auto.
​
**\*
​
“Huff, Huff, you doin alright there Ponthyt?” I turned back to see him walking behind me.
​
“Yeah, oof I haven't walked this much in years!”
​
I waited for him to catch up, we sat together when he did and we caught our breath before tuning to make our way back up the bluff. When we reached it there was a stone gazebo made of limestone. The angle of the sun let it shine into it. We walked into it and sat down on the stone benches. I looked around at the lake.
​
It was surrounded by steep hills with many rock faces visible, the layered stone was clearly visible. The topography of the area around the bluffs was shaped like a bowl, with the sight of land of higher elevation faintly visible in the distance despite its gradual slope. Giving a scene of depth that was not as extreme then in more mountainous areas. This view was normally hidden by the trees below.
​
“Well isn't this view alone worth the trip?” Ponthyt proclaimed.
​
I looked around letting the mid morning sun warm my back, I stretched my arms and breathed deeply. Taking in all the wonderful scents of nature.
​
“Yeah, it's beautiful.” I let myself relax, just letting the sounds and scents of nature calm me like I have never been since I was a pup on an archeological trip with mom and dad.
​
“Hmm, I've missed this.”
​
I don't know for how long I had been like this, but Ponthyt broke the silence “Ahhem, so, you've gone camping before?”
​
I nodded, “yeah when I was a pup my parents would sometimes go off to a site for a couple of weeks and we would come with them. We would have to get homeschooled then. But we would always have to camp and I and my siblings would go off exploring while they worked during the day.”
​
He smiled and his tail was wagging.” That sounds wonderful. I only got to camp for a couple days a year. It was always so hectic. Me and my siblings would just muck around the camp and eat, sometimes hiking around. Heh” Ponthyt looked towards the ground and held his paws together, rubbing his digits together.
​
“What's wrong Ponthyt?”
​
“Oh it's nothing it's-” I put my paw on his shoulder which drew his attention towards me.
​
“I know that's not true, you can trust me. Just tell me what's wrong ok?”
​
He gave a look of reluctance before caving to my request “… sigh… I grew up in a big family, and I love them all but… I was born at a strange time. I was second to last of my parents pups. Which meant they were busy with the older ones' events and taking care of the youngest. I kind of got mixed up and forgotten. My interests rarely lined up with the others and I often messed up tasks that my sibling would just fix or do for me. It got to the point that I… didn't really do anything. They will never say this but… I don't think my parents ever expected anything of me.”
​
I rub his shoulder,” well… I know that you have amounted to something. I mean, you're an astronomer! You work to understand the nature of reality. You're also so… kind and patient. I tried to scare you off but you weren't deterred at my standoffish behavior.”
​
He turned his head and gave me a shallow but joyous expression. “Heh well living in a house that's rarely quiet leaves you with a high tolerance for stubbornness. '' he wipes away a single tear “Sniff well… should we make our way back to camp? Or can I take out my stuff?”
​
I shake my head. ”Nah, you can paint. I’ll just sit here and let this place wash over me.”
​
He smiles and gets up and sets up his easel, taking out his supplies from his bag and gets to work painting the landscape ahead of him. He was slow and each brushstroke was as deliberate as he could manage. He… wasn't very good, only starting out when he moved here. But his drive to get better was admirable. Even in adulthood he tried to learn, to grow, to become more than he was yesterday.
​
I kept staring at him. Feeling something warm in my gut, something an academic wasn't supposed to feel. Shame overwhelmed me and I quickly turned away. Cursing myself for having those accursed feelings.
​
​
**\*
​
Ponthyt, returned from his cauto (Cargo auto -> pickup truck) with an armful of wood he brought with us. He set most of it aside and threw a piece onto the fire he had started, causing a cascade of embers to fly into the late evening air. The dull purple of the sky cast overhead between the canopy of the trees as the chill of the night began to come in. A pleasant coolness that most would take advantage of to seek the comfort of warming oneself close to a fire.
​
Not me, I paced to a fro as Ponthyt set up our campsite. He had placed his painting for the day inside the cabin of his cautoa and was now seasoning some raw meat strips to cook on the open fire. Snacking on one or two as he did so. He hung them on the tripod to roast, the fat that dripped off them as they were cooking sizzled as they burned on the coals below.
​
“I’ll have these done as soon as I can, please sit down Maarchal. Walking like that is only going to make the wait worse.” He says as he prods the suspended meat with a claw like utensil.
​
“Hmm, ok I’ll just sit and wait. Waste my time. Make a waste of the whole evening!!!” I snapped back at him, throwing my paws into the air.
​
Ponthyt recoils from my outburst with his ears pinned back. “ We’re camping, there is no way to waste it.”
​
I turned to address him, “we shouldn't be here! This trip means nothing and we are just wasting our TIME!!!” I cross my arms and scratch at the biceps. Rufflying the fur and making a mess of myself.
​
Ponthyt drops his utensil and walks over to me. “ We’re together and we spent the whole day just mucking about. How is this any more of a waste than that?” He says as he looks at me with eyes full of worry.
​
“We’re scientists, academics!!! We don't waste time like the ignorant masses! We should spend our time wisely!!! Every action of connection is just another moment we waste that could be spent to advance our field.” I had tears forming in the corners of my eyes. Scratching at my fur until I felt a wetness on my arms and paws.
​
“We’re supposed to sharpen our minds! No-not seek pointless relationships! ” I said as I bared my teeth and began growling at him.
​
The look of betrayal and abject worry he had on his face was overwhelming. I didn't want to hurt him. What am I doing? He doesn't deserve my ire. My legs gave out and I cried into my hands.
​
Ponthyt walked over to his cauto and brought out a cover. He wrapped it around me and rubbed my arms through it. He rested his head on top of mine while I sobbed. I couldn't take this anymore. Repressing and lashing out at any attempt to connect. Ponthyt hugged me and rocked back and forth. Humming and rubbing on the cover. He was warm and soft. I don't know how long we had been like this but by the time my sobs turned to a faint whine the meat over the fire was well done and the sky was pure black and the stars were out.
​
“I-I think i’m good no-now.” I choked out. Ponthyt grabbed my hand and helped me stand up. We didn't say another word. He collects the meat and places it on two plates. I stare at my portion for some time, Ponthyt doesn't eat any of his either.
​
“Sigh… I know you might not want to but… Could you tell me why you said those things earlier?” He says with trepidation clearly miring his words.
​
“Yeah, it's just… When I entered college It was… not what I was expecting… I was sort of a hyper teen. Always going off about some book I read. Drawing pictures of stars, space stations or colonies we would make on inhospitable planets.”
​
He sits up and places his plate by his side. “You draw? I’d love to see some of them.”
​
“I used to. But I haven't since that first year of college.” I turned to stare at the dying inferno warming us. I pull the cover around me tighter.
​
“When I was doodling before class one day the professor walked by me. He noticed what I was doing and grabbed my paper. I objected but he just stared at me. When he started to address the class he showed it off and mocked me for wasting my time.” Ponthyt turns his head to look at me.
​
“That's a dick move, But at least he couldn't do the same when you did it in your free time right?” I turned to him with a somber expression. He seemed to understand the implications though he seemed to be confused as to how.
​
“He couldn't have gotten into your room right? That'd be a huge breach of privacy!!!”
​
I grabbed the poker and stirred the coals of the fire. “You're right, he couldn't. But he didn't need to, my roommate would take them with her to class and he’d pin them up on the board to mock. I called the staff but since she was my roommate she didn't break any privacy laws and since my art was only ever worth the paper it was on it wasn't even enough to get a misdemeanor theft charge. I tried to hide it but she would always find them. I tried to get another roommate but he stonewalled my attempts and I couldn't afford to rent a place in town. ”
​
He took on a look of absolute despair. “... How… how could he be so aggressively intolerant of such an innocent hobby?”
​
I chuckled “It wasn't just mine, a few others had made the mistake of having a roommate with the same professor. I remembered one who loved going out in the woods for hikes. When he found out about that he mocked him for “Pointless exercise and admiring a random assemble of dead and dying shit””. I waved my arms about to emphasize how he inflicted his words.
​
Ponthyt stared at the ground between us with a look of utter confusion.” … He mocked someone for appreciating nature and being healthy?”
​
I nodded, “if you were not engaging with study of his topic you were wasting his and everyone else's time.”
​
Ponthyt looks at me with concern and shared pain. “Why, why didn't you go to a different school?”
​
I stared at him in his eyes. A scene of shame overtook me. “It was the top class in the country. My family was so proud of me. I was so proud of myself, I didn't want to disappoint them and me. Looking back on it, I realize my own pride was something I rarely contended with until then. It didn't help when he found out who my family was.”
​
Ponthyt recoiled and waved his arms in a “what” fashion. “Wait, what does your family have to do with this?”
​
I poked at a log to knock off the charcoal to expose the untouched wood underneath. “They were happy. He spent a lot of time in academic circles so naturally he met people who knew my parents. And the way they described this happy family irritated him something fierce. He gave me such a hard time with it. Mocking me for being a lazy nepotism pick who didn't deserve her seat in his class. He mocked anyone for having any kind of non professional relationship, we never spoke to each other outside of class. We never left or met with friends or family. If we tried too he’d find out and call the one in question a “Lazy sentimental idiot.””
​
I breathed in deeply, “... that hurt my pride so severely that I just stopped seeing them or any of my friends. I always said I was busy or had a field study, but I was just reading and rereading his lectures. I didn't even go home for the summer breaks, I just apprenticeshiped at his museum to study even more. At graduation he looked so… proud, I only realized he was proud of what he turned me into and not what I did a few weeks after I met you. How I let him turn me into an angry starile shell of a person.”
​
Ponthyt turned his head towards the fire. His ears straight up and a soft growl in his throat. “... If I ever meet that piece of.. nuclear waste, I’ll kill him.”
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He turns to me and his features soften immediately. “Anyone capable of manipulating someone as passionate and creative as you... I can't even imagine the kind of living hell he made you seek…”
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I chucked and a slight wag entered my tail.” I’m responsible for my life. MY pride kept me there for him to mold. I hate him, but I hate myself for it too.”
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Ponthyt shoots up and screams at me “MERSHIT, Maarchal, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You had a right to expect your teachers to be respectable people. Not abusive and manipulative Sherkires (Ambush insect. Commonly seen as sneaky and unhonorable due to making pheromones and calls imitating other insects mating signals). He starts to speak softer as he turners to address me.
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“Even this version of you, so cut off of why you love space in the first place is just.. You are one of the most remarkable people I have ever met. So humble with addressing yourself. You inspire me to be a tenth of the person you are.” He kneels in front of me and grabs my paws in his own.
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“You are… you are so passionate, so creative. Even with being a self described shell. I can't even imagine how you will be when you open up again and explore your creativity in full and banish that monster's influence for good.”
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I turn and I can't help but smile at his words.”... I haven't been in practice in years. But … I’m willing to relearn it with you.” I stared deeply in his eyes and that feeling again bubbles within me. The feeling of never wanting to leave his side, the feeling as though I found a piece I had been missing. Before I knew it I bit on his snout, recoiling when I realized what I had done.
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‘I-I’m so sorry!!! You were just so close and and I felt something and before I knew it-” I was caught off guard when he bit my snout, holding my top jaw between his own set. I bit down on his lower jaw and we locked together. He tried to let go after a while. But I growled to let him know I wasn't ready yet and I used my leverage to lead him into my tent.
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**\*
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I got up and exited my tent. I stood up and stretched and twisted my back around. Lifting my arms above my head and pulling them as far out as I could. I looked at the coals still burning in our firepit, I could only tell they were burning from the heat going off of them as the glow was hidden by the sun's light. Before noticing the meat Ponthyt prepared last night still on the plates on the log we sat on.
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“Pff, hey Ponthyt. Come out here!!!” I said behind me. He crawled out my tent with a head of messy fur.
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“Wut ?” He said with half closed eyes and a disposition of utter exhaustion . I pointed to the cold meat. He still had a look of drowsiness before he realized what the significance of the strange strips were.
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“Heh, I guess we won't need to make breakfast?” I chuckled as I sat down and hugged his head. I groomed his messy fur as I absorbed the morning sun. I don't know what the future of my career looked like anymore. But it was no longer the most important thing in my life. I loved space, I loved to learn. But In these years I had lost track of what was truly important. As I groomed him Ponthyt fell asleep with his head in my lap.
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As I felt the joy of reciprocal love again for the first time in years I leaned back and watched the sunrise, caressing my love's head and breathing in the fresh air.
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Ive done this gig for years now and have never once gotten the unicorn "no blocks available, go home with pay"
Is there stuff you can do to increase the odds? I always show up 15 mins early, should I show up at the last minute instead? Idk I really want a free block, even if its base pay.