Witness #1

OBSERVED: Well last year I was night fishing 9/2010 at Amawalk Reservior SOMERS NY about 30 minutes from PAWLINGS I was fishing with my buddy..the reservior was about 100ft into the lake before you got to water .....about 5am sun was coming out..when a 5 foot maybe 5 1/2 ft man or Big Foot came out of the woods washed its face and drank some of the reservoir water..he looked like something out of the old school "Planets of the Apes" chimps..I said to my buddy "you see that?"?he said yes ..Now on Animal Planet there showing a clip of a Big Foot that has been seen in these areas (Lower Hudson Valley)..So I'm puzzled to think what I saw was a Big Foot....so this my account of what I saw..and we didn't catch crap at night..anybody ever run into anything like this??...
This was my post on www.westchesterfishing.com
Low and be hold another member at the same reservior..Columbus day 2011..this is his post..Hey Guys, I put at Amawalk this summer and about the 5th time I took it out in early October. I saw two upright walking chimp looking things walk out of the woods and crouch down and drink from the res, run back in to the woods and then do the same thing again. When they came out the second time one of them threw it's arms in the air while squatting and then they ran back into the woods. The second one went back slowly. It seemed like they saw something in the water right in front of them. That was right when the sun came up. I haven't been back to my boat since. I have no idea what they were and looked like two large chimps to me. Maybe some guy who lives there has two monkeys or something? I have no idea. But I saw something that I can't explain, it has been eating away at me since. When I saw the preview for that show I almost shat myself. When Biggame posted here I didn't want to say that I saw something because I'm from Oregon and my hunting and logging part of the family thinks they know where they live but none of them have never ever seen them just have stories, just like everyone else in Oregon. Then I saw what I saw in October and have been denying it to myself ever since. I absolutely hope that someone owns two monkey's on the Amawalk.
I have no reason to say something like this. Before October I could have cared less if bigfoot existed, now I'm a bit curious. I own a fishing rod company and have business to lose from people thinking I'm crazy for posting this on here. This is a nothing to gain and allot to lose situation for me but, I had to say something when Biggame posted. Let me be clear in saying that I saw something too. I have no idea what they were and would need absolute proof that bigfoot existed before I would ever say thats what they were.
So two seperate sightings same place different year..I BELIEVE!!!
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Story #2

OBSERVED: My family had moved from the city of Rochester to Wolcott, a small town about 50 miles east of Rochester in July 2003. We were living in an old farmhouse on approx. 77 acres of woods & creeks near Lake Ontario. This incident happened sometime between the 18th-20th of September. My sister's birthday is the 20th and I recall a small group of family and friends were visiting the house for that occasion. My future-stepfather took a small group, including his brother, my four sisters, and a few other friends out for a "tour" of the property. I was not present, I had stayed behind at the house. As the group returned to the house, my stepfather lingered behind in an area of the property where a strip of woods runs between two fields. My stepfather was in the field closer to the house, we'll refer to it as field #1. He noticed to his left something in the woods and turned to see a tall, white, hair covered creature standing just off the path in the woods. He ran ahead and told his brother, but did not tell the rest of the group. His brother rushed into the house to get me, telling me that something was in the woods and I should come see. I followed him outside where my stepfather relayed the story to me and the three of us walked back to the area of his sighting. As my stepfather showed me the spot where the creature had been standing, we all noticed that the creature was still present, but had moved further back, to field #2. At this point, the three of us were standing in field 1 and looking through a small strip of trees at the creature in field 2, maybe 200 yards away or so. My observations of the creature are as follows: It was approximately 7' tall, covered in hair, white but with a dark area on the face, think and lanky, with a head that came to a slight conic shape. It was too far to distinctly see its face but there was a definite darker colored area where the face would have been. The creature was clearly observing us, as it paced back and forth, looking around trees, standing up taller, ducking down, etc. to get a better look at us. After approximately 45 seconds, the creature retreated to an area where we couldn't see it clearly. I walked through the trees into field 2 to get a better look at it, but it had disappeared. The area where it had been walking was matted down, but there were no distinct prints. Judging by nearby trees, I estimated its height to be 6.5 - 7 feet.
ALSO NOTICED: Myself and other members of my family frequently heard odd noises, i.e. screams, hoots, howls, coming from the woods on and near our property many times.

Story #3

YEAR: 1981
SEASON: Winter
MONTH: January
OBSERVED: Whitehall is a small town with little to do for teenagers. Driving all the back roads was one of the past times of choice. Late one night a girlfriend and I drove out to East Bay and stopped to talk for a while.
After a few moments spent parked near the bridge, I saw what looked to be a man walking accross the marshy area to our left. The distance, I am assuming, was about 200 to 300 yards. This I gauged by seeing a fence line at that distance. At the time my tested vision was 20/10 (documented).
We both watched as this man approached the fence line. He cleared it without stopping. Simply stepped over it as if it were a low stool. Knowing that the snow was not that deep or that hard to support a man of his apparent size, and that it was highly unlikely for anyone to be out on the marshes at that time of night, I stepped out of the car to get a better look.
As soon as I had gotten out of the car, the man changed course and began heading straight toward us. I closed the car door to cancel the interior light, and prevent showing my location. At this point the man broke into a run. His speed was incredible. He closed the distance between us very quickly. My girlfriend was screaming for me to get back into the car at this point.
I got back into the car, and she drove back over the bridge into NYS. As we went, I looked behind us and saw that we were being pursued, although we were building a gap. As soon as we returned to hardtop road, he broke off pusuit and ran back into the forest near the bridge.
We returned to town and never spoke of this incident to anyone other than two trusted friends. I have since told friends and relatives that I saw "something" out there but could not say that it was any animal I had ever seen, nor could it have been any man.
I should add that at that time I had spent 16 years working and playing outdoors. I had encountered all of the major predators of our area, knew their habits and habitats. I know that I did not mistake an animal for a humanoid creature that night.
I will further add that I am now a Natural Resource Scientist with 16-years of experience studying and reporting information based on my observations and analysis. I still cannot state with precision what it is I saw that night.
ALSO NOTICED: Nothing of note. Just an extremely clear and cold night.
OTHER WITNESSES: There was one other witness to this. We were both sober, well-rested, and in no way incapacitated.
OTHER STORIES: This area has had a rash of reports from this place. All of them have been dismissed as, kid's crying wolf, or what-have-you. However, when I was a child, there was a story of an attack on a group of teenagers. It was dismissed, as I recall, as anything but a bigfoot attack. There are rumors, possibly untrue, of cows in the area being killed and partially eaten in the winter months.

Story #4

YEAR: 1989
SEASON: Winter
MONTH: January
STATE: New York
COUNTY: Washington County
LOCATION DETAILS: Whitehall NY. On a friend's property near the VT state line.
OBSERVED: We saw footprints while walking in the woods that must have been 20 inches long and found some tree branches broken down. They were originally about 15 feet high. We decided to head back to his house right away because we both felt as if we were being watched and it was close to dark.
The entire way home we felt as if we were being followed. Then the next morning I awoke to see a large creature about 20 feet from the house (I slept on the fold out couch and the entire front of the house has windows.) It must have been at least 10 feet tall as the windows are 15 feet off the ground and it was no more than 5 feet below me.
It wandered around for a while and I did not dare move. It was Brown and looked very human except for its size and forehead and obviously the hair. After about five minutes it walked toward the house and up a bank. As it passed the house it banged on the wall and I thought it's arm would come right through.My friend was wakened by this and came in and I told him what I had seen.We decided not to go back out to follow the tracks.
ALSO NOTICED: Just the feeling of being watched and followed.

Story #5

OBSERVED: The witness was walking his dog at 4-5 pm. A tractor-trailer truck nearby turned the corner around the truck and the creature stood up. Witness turned around and walked away quickly, glanced over his shoulder. The creature walked away smoothly. The dog (Beagle hound) did not notice the creature as the witness walked away. The witness was upwind. Not hurried stride. Moved in a fluid motion. Witness and others, including Paul Bartholomew, found 12 inch footprints and a bedding area nearby the following days. Two-foot stride. Approximately 6+ feet tall. Slender in appearance, maybe 200 lbs. The head had a pointed cone shape, no definitive forehead. Dark brown color. Did not see the face well. Did not have a neck. Broad shoulders, one yard wide. The chest was nondescript. Long arms, ended near the knee. The arms only swung slightly. Saw dark hairy hands. Big dark hairy legs, nothing unusual. No genitalia noticed. No smell noticed, the beagle did not notice either.
The creature headed toward the only route towards a forest. This is on the north side of Whitehall, near Lake Champlain. Did not hear any noises.
The witness is a hunter and knew it was not a bear. Several dumpsters from two restaurants and an apartment structure nearby.

TL DR: I get three layers deep into the zone, The pressure of winning might have triggered the first state(My teammates disconecting) The more in the zone i am the less of a barrier there is between me and the game. aftereffects was that my hands were so cold they went redish white. Resolved by warming. I want to know if this is just me, I see many articles of "the zone" but i dont see any of the after effects nor the 3 step immersion i had.
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So i was getting back into apex after a long break caused by not being able to log in, which then i extended as i wanted to take a break from fps games. I played a couple of games won my first game and SBMM kicked in and i was playing with diamonds and masters again, SBMM is a horrible thing but thats a whole new topic. I was playing and i realised that my gameplay was in general a lot better. Over a couple of matches i was alot more consistent. Anyways. i was in my game where i was totally in the zone like, i turned off the music in my head but it was still playing zone, My... medicore teammates died and bailed before i could respawn them and i was on my own in a trio battle royale game against alot of skilled players. That extra pressure being alone caused me to feel alot more cautious about my surroundings, i felt that this may have been the trigger. I then go to see a trio, the octane sees me and thinks i havent seen him(writing this now, i realised that in the zone i remember details clearly) and hides behind a wall to get a better aiming angle. I made a split second decision of switching to the flatline and shooting, exposing me to the rest of his squad. I do a nice 57 dmg to him and run off. His teammates already aware, try to flank me, i somehow survive a three way pinch and grapple to a bridge where i hide under. Here i feel i had my second layer of immersion or being in the zone. The extra presssure made me feel like i was even more in the zone and in the character's shoes of survival. I hear 3 distinct footsteps rushing over the bridge looking for me, It was so clear that if wall banging was a thing i feel like i could've shot exactly where they where. I then grapple the other way and heal. I was pleased with this outcome as not only did i survive but within the 3 way pinch i had earned myself a red evo shield. I then run into this squad again while on the hunt for cells. I see the what i didnt know was the caustic and absolutely wipe the floor with him not letting him even hit me once. I then finally realised this was the squad from before when the octane came for the clutch. My mag on the r-99 runs empty and i swiftly switch to my flatline to get the sweetest crouch spam 5 headshot in my life, leaving me with no shield and the zone quickly comes in to wreck havoc on my health, i place down my heat shield and loot up the other bodies they mustve killed looking for me. (this game mode was second chance and you get another life if you die giving the enemy no loot while keeping all your loot)I then scurry to the storm to find that octane has already placed convient jump pads all the way to saftey. I then try to rotate for a safer space deeper into the ring. The duo find me again(im assuming the wraith disconected as wraiths do in casuals) I was blessed again that my grapple kept me from dying and i get pushed deeper into the ring. From here it was alot of waiting and avoiding to keep me safe from squads killing each other. The match becomes more intense and i reached another lvl of immersion the screen fell away and i was the character(as cringey as it sounds its how it felt) I didnt have to think about the keyboard and mouse, it was as if i was directly connected into the game. I survived a couple of hastily made flanks and take the high ground moving like a humming bird. Staying in a place for a few seconds, instigating fights between the remaining squads but just as quickly flitting away. I was the conductor of the match. It was the finally 5 squads, I hear a battle going on that i had not created. I quickly assesed the situation and saw that a rampart wraith and mirage was fighting against a wraith lifeline and bloodhound. I threw in a frag causing them to split. I take advantage of this confusion and finish off ramparts squad. The heavily damaged blood hound and lifeline have now no option but to push me and they could've very well ended me. But i sprayed them with the r99 and killed them both in one clip. It was over for them. The thing is, after my r99 had run dry i had instantly switched to my flatline and i remember being suprised that i hadn't even thought of doing so. I reload my guns and take the final figurative high ground(i was blocking off the only way to the ring) The final squad finshes the 3rd squad and i see them try shoot me in fustration. I smile and continue to make their life a misery. I hear their final shot of dispair as their chance of winning disapears. I then stand in the shrinking ring waiting for my win little did i know a little rat had found how to glitch under the map. I realise this when i hear sounds of healing at my feet and a little bit of his final heat shield appears. He dies i win, I get happy etc etc. The effects of the zone of total immersion and focus fall away and my hands feel really cold like i was playing with snow cold. I look down to see that my fingers had gone almost grey purple with my fingernails being dark purple. I quickly warm my hands and ponder what happened and write this post.
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TL DR: I get three layers deep into the zone, The pressure of winning might have triggered the first state(My teammates disconecting) The more in the zone i am the less of a barrier there is between me and the game. aftereffects was that my hands were so cold they went redish white. Resolved by warming. I want to know if this is just me, I see many articles of "the zone" but i dont see any of the after effects nor the 3 step immersion i had.

To start of, I will preface with a few things to properly introduce the backdrop to this now colossal misunderstanding. We have a Rogue (Noren), a Barbarian (Snek), two Bards (Vrock and Kainsly), and an Eldritch Night (Ballsi). Also have one other character that lives for literally 30 minutes in game. Noren (the Rogue) is the only character that has survived from the last campaign arc, and is now on a quest for Redemption because of the actions he took (leading to 2 Party Member deaths). All other characters know his deeds, with varying levels of disapproval except for the Barbarian, who has actually bonded with the Rogue over their 2 months journey to the city.
So the characters are on the outskirts of the city of Esgaroth, currently helping the Sentinels, who are Demon Hunters currently employed to seal a Rift that has opened up near the city. While down in the catacombs beneath an ancient Temple complex, they run into the cavern that the Rift is open in, after a brief fight with a Bone Devil, Chain Devil, and some Barbed Devils. They are about 100 ft up on the edge of a cliff overlooking the cavern below, which is described as to have 'about a 100 demons of varying sizes.' Vrock mentions that he casts fly on himself, drifting out over the cavern, and makes a perception check to see if he spots anything abnormal. Rolls an 8. Tell him he sees the army below, but he fails to notice the Erinyes up near the roof, who was scouting out the terrain. She sees him. Vrock is a squishy bard, AC 14.
She hits all three of her attacks with room to spare, and immediately knocks Vrock unconscious. He starts plummeting and I roll some die, decide that he plummets into the portal, being taken to whatever is on the other side. Party immediately goes into crisis mode. They like Vrock, would even be willing to do a lot of things for him, but after some discussion, it seems jumping into Hell after him isn't one of those things. Then Ballsi jumps in after him, deciding that he can do two things; help the Sentinels and help the Bard. The rest of the party reluctantly follows suit, all making the 150 ft drop.
Vrock's player proceeds to roll up a new character, a Battlemaster called John Bastille, as Vrock has perished from the fall. Decides that his character is trapped in Hell as punishment for trying to lead a Revolution against his liege-lord. This is session 1 of 2. And the short part of the story.
Next week, we start off with every character noticing that they are alone, in a different part of the first level of Hell. Snek is on a smooth plain, next to the River Styx, which I descride with varying bits of Flotsam and decayed flesh and a very, very acidic smell. Noren is on a rocky outcrop, overlooking the ancient battlefields strewn with dead and broken pieces of armor and weapons. Ballsi is in a howling cave, with the wind biting at his skin. None of them have any idea where they are, or where their party members are. John Bastille is currently locked in a prison in Hell, being tortured by a rather large and disgustingly ugly beast.
Noren immediately starts picking out equipment in the battlefield that he can wear, and uses his disguise kit to hide himself. Rolls a 23 to make it convincing that he belongs here. Proceeds to skirt around the edge of the legion of devils, searching for the portal that he had come through. Manages to make my hordes of devils and demons look like children playing hide and seek with a trained spy.
Snek decides to follow the river downstream, hoping it would lead him to some sort of civilazation. After a few miles walk, he spots the basalt citadel of Zariel, with the river splitting and acting as a moat for the fortress. Asks if there is a bridge that spans the gap and sees one, covered with enemies currently marching out of the gates. Decides that he will try and swim, so sticks his hand in the water to see if its safe. Ask him to roll a Con save. Nat 1's it, but has a +8 modifier, so I ask him to make an Wis save (his Wis is 9). Rolls a 2. So it takes him a moment to notice that his skin is starting to dissolve (ever stick your hand in hot water, and it feels cold for a second?), and lets out a huge howl that echoes across the landscape. He goes down to about 35 HP.
Ballsi lands in a pitch black cavern (no darkvision). Can't see, so decides to use dancing lights to illuminate his way. Spends quite a bit of time tumbling every which way, before finding the exit, but not before being ambushed by 3 Hell Hounds. He manages to kill them, but they take him down from 85ish to 30ish HP. Drinks a couple health potions as he steps out into the light of Hell. Sees he is on the edge of a mountain range, with no river in sight, but a contingent of demons marching Eastward.
John Bastille is chained up to a wall, being tortured. While he is there, uses his ability Know Your Enemy to find out the demon torturing him is cocky and sure of himself, so he challenges him to a game of Dice, for his freedom or his soul, rolls 17 for persuasion. Demon relunctantly agrees, promising HE would let him free. Game is best of Five rolls. First two rolls go to the Demon, with John taking the last two. On the fifth one, the Demon rolls a 15 to John 11, so he asks if he can sleight of hand the result. I say sure, and he rolls a 16, managing to get past the Demons 12 perception and rerolls his dice. Nat 20's it. (These 20's get ridiculous by the end of the night.) John books it, deciding to stop by the armory and try to pick up his weapons, but proceeds to run into Every. Single. Patrol. Books it to the exit instead. When he gets there, he manages to convince one of the guards outside to open the door (Guard 1 rolled a 16 for insight, Guard 2 rolled a 1), and barrels past out into the open, staring down the edge of a cliff, with a small goat path being the only way down the 500 feet. Decides he has nothing to lose, so starts picking his way down.
As Noren is scouting around, trying to find the way out, he hears Sneks' howl, and starts off towards the sound, also following the river. As Snek is desperately trying to figure out someway to stop his arm from dissolving, 4 bearded Devils come over to investigate, managing to sneak up on Snek. He decides to Rage so he won't be surprised and we roll initiative. As a Barbarian, he gets advantage, and rolls 1's on both die. Devils go first, and knock him down to 23 HP. Snek pulls out his Javelins, and does a good job a hurting one of them. Next round, the Devils get him down to 14 HP. He decides to use reckless attack, and rolls a 14 and a crit on the first attack. 1 dies. Second attack rolls crit's on both die. Asks to make one more attack (House rule for 3 Nat 20s is instakill). Rolls a fucking 9 and a crit. Manages to kill the 3 unhurt devils in one round, and kills the other in a Opportunity Attack as it tries to run away. About a minute later, Noren runs up, sees Snek's now mostly fleshy arm, and cuts it off. Feeds him all their health pots. Ask Snek to roll a Con save against the shock. Gets a 25. (By this point I'm done with Snek and his stupid luck.)
Back to John, he picks his way down the cliff, nearly falling himself but managing to catch himself before he plummets. All the Barbed devils chasing him roll below a 10 on their Dex checks, and he successfully kills them all by being the only one to hold on to the rock. He gets to the bottom and notices a human standing off about 100 feet away from him at the mouth of a small cave. Investigates and finds Ballsi, whom both become fast friends, being the only ones in Hell and not a demon.
They decide to follow the contingent of Demons Ballsi saw earlier, deducting that they must be marching towards the portal out of here. They decide to skirt around the edge, trying to stay out of sight and away from anymore patrols. Both roll a 6 for stealth. So as they are trying to duck down behind the small ravines and large boulders around the area, they run into a Succubus and Incubus . Neither side attacks right away, and John tries to skirt around them, being as diplomatic as possible. Succubus asks him to stay awhile and enjoy one more sin before he leaves, trying to charm him. John saves, and declines. Incubus walks over to Ballsi, offering him some beer. Ballsi fails the save. Then fails his first Indomitable. Then fails the second one too. Decides a beer is a great idea as it's fucking hot in Hell. Succubus realizes John isn't failing for it and decides to attack, but misses easily. John spends his turn trying to get Ballsi to snap out of it, before deciding to just attack back, managing to do some damage. Ballsi is next up, and attacks John six times, critting twice. Deals 70 damage in one round, dropping John to -3, killing the new player who had only been alive in this world for about 30 minutes. Two characters in two sessions for this player. Ballsi is then murdered by the twins, enjoying his untimely demise all the way. 2 of 4 out for the count.
Back to Noren and Snek. Noren uses his disguise kit on Snek, dressing him up the same as himself. Rolls a 26 for it. On their way back up the river, Noren finds a War Pick, and decides that it'd be a great idea to tie it to Snek's now stubby arm. As they get closer to the hub of demon activity, they decide to climb up the side of the mountain to stay away from the hordes walking along the ravine, the only known way in or out of the valley up ahead.
A few climb checks later, they managed to find the valley itself, and notice in the center, in the midst of a Stonehenge type ruin, is the Portal they came through. Surrounding the ruins is a small lake, with a single iron bridge connecting the two, on which a battle was currently being fought. They need to cross the river, so go back to a Rope bridge they saw earlier to try and cross, but run into a squad of demons guarding both ends. Noren goes up to convince the guards they are on important business, but as he has no idea about anything in Hell, I give him disadvantage. Rolls a 19 and a 20, for a 21 persuade. (While laughing his ass off "I'm sorry for breaking your game DM. I'm sorry I'm not letting you kill me." Grumble grumble) Demons roll a 19 insight, so they let them pass, with a lot of dirty looks and unconvinced minds. On the other side, the are stopped again. Tells these guys the same thing, rolls a 19 for persuade. Demons roll an 18. Gets off Scot-free. Drags the Barbarian with him.
Now they only have to get past the battle line. They manage to push their way to the front with some strength checks, and both take a 6th level Lightning Bolt to the face. Barbarian goes down to 1 thanks to Relentless Endurance, Rogue is now at 7 HP. Rogue dances his way over the line as the Barbarian charges through, ripping off their disguises and running into one of the Captains of the Sentinels, who is organizing the defense on this side of the Portal, trying to shut it down. Captain also happens to be Kainslys' sister (not mentioned yet) who has been searching for her for 3 years, and had just recently been re-united for a brief hour conversation. Captain tells the two to get through the Portal (they're useless anyway now, everything is spent), but before they do, the run into two Teiflings and the Erinyes, who have just stepped through. All of them are bloodied and breathing heavily. Noren asks what these two are doing here (as he had met them previously a few times and currently had a mutual beneficial deal with them), and they tell him they are hear on business. Offer to let Noren and Snek live, if he promises to fulfil his end of the bargain. Noren agrees, and they both jump through the Portal, which promptly shut behind them.
Now Kainsly (whose player had not been here the week previous) was on the other side of the portal as it closed, watching Noren and Snek come through, both basically dead men walking. He is currently invisible, as he was not a fighter, and was trying to find a way through to save his sister from what he thought was a fate forced on her.
He waited until Noren and Snek were alone, and cast Sleep on Noren, asking Snek to trust him for the time being. He thens takes the three of them off to the edge of the woods, away from the Temple Complex. About 15 minutes later, they both hear a Dragon swoop down from the sky, destroying the Temple, and presumably burying everyone inside.
Kainsly casts Mordenkain Magic Mansion, and Snek promptly falls asleep. Kainsly then ties up Noren in a dungeon, and waits for him to wake up to interogate him. He then discovers

• 1. Noren had gone into Hell with the rest of the Party.
• 2. Noren had not come out with the rest of the Party.
• 3. Noren had run into Kainsly's sister on the other side of the Portal.
• 4. Noren and Snek had decided to not help his sister against the Teiflings and Erinyes
• 5. Had known something 'big' (the Dragon attack) was going to happen during his meeting with the Teiflings and Dragonborn.
• 6. Had not decided to share any of this information with the Party.

As Noren had already had plenty of blood on his hands, and Kainsly's inability to react rationally in regards to bad news about his sister, Kainsly killed him. (4th PvP death in this campaign.) Kainsly's then went and got a full nights sleep.
At breakfast the next day, Kainsly decided to break the news about Noren's death to Snek, who was the only person Snek considered a friend. As Kainsly was finshing up, Snek decided he had heard enough. His supposed 'ally' had executed his friend for things outside his control, and subsequently threw his handaxe at him. Fucker crits, again, dropping Kainsly 33 HP out of 90, to 57. Kainsly responds with a 7th level Lightning Bolt, doing a measly 25 damage, thanks to Rage. Snek then uses a bonus action to bitchslap Kainsly with his War Pick hand, and crits. Deals another 39 damage, dropping Kainsly to 18 HP. He then hits him twice with his Hand Axe, dealing 13 and 8 damage, effectively ending Kainsly, and my entire party.
The Mansion spits them out as the spell fails, and Snek gathers himself and some belongings, and walks off to "Became a fucking Pirate, cause fuck this Good guy bullshit."
Afterwards, we were talking about how this all started, and we all ask why Vrock had decided to float out over the Cavern floor.
Vrock's player. "What? Because Snek said he pushed me, and I decided I'd just fucking Fly cause I hadn't used it yet."
Sneks' Player. "What?! I was kidding dude; it was just a joke. I didn't actually mean it."
Vrock's Player. "I totally thought it was legit. I was drunk, you can't expect me to know you were kidding."
Our 1 year and 3 month campaign ended last night, all because of a joke that got taken too far.
I feel dead inside, and now I've got to create an entire new campaign to start for next weekend.
Because of a bad joke.

Incoming, very, very long wall of text coming.
TL;DR Barbarian jokingly says he pushes the bard of a cliff, party proceeds to die because the Bard falls into Hell.
To start of, I will preface with a few things to properly introduce the backdrop to this now colossal misunderstanding. We have a Rogue (Noren), a Barbarian (Snek), two Bards (Vrock and Kainsly), and an Eldritch Night (Ballsi). Also have one other character that lives for literally 30 minutes in game. Noren (the Rogue) is the only character that has survived from the last campaign arc, and is now on a quest for Redemption because of the actions he took (leading to 2 Party Member deaths). All other characters know his deeds, with varying levels of disapproval except for the Barbarian, who has actually bonded with the Rogue over their 2 months journey to the city.
So the characters are on the outskirts of the city of Esgaroth, currently helping the Sentinels, who are Demon Hunters currently employed to seal a Rift that has opened up near the city. While down in the catacombs beneath an ancient Temple complex, they run into the cavern that the Rift is open in, after a brief fight with a Bone Devil, Chain Devil, and some Barbed Devils. They are about 100 ft up on the edge of a cliff overlooking the cavern below, which is described as to have 'about a 100 demons of varying sizes.' Vrock mentions that he casts fly on himself, drifting out over the cavern, and makes a perception check to see if he spots anything abnormal. Rolls an 8. Tell him he sees the army below, but he fails to notice the Erinyes up near the roof, who was scouting out the terrain. She sees him. Vrock is a squishy bard, AC 14.
She hits all three of her attacks with room to spare, and immediately knocks Vrock unconscious. He starts plummeting and I roll some die, decide that he plummets into the portal, being taken to whatever is on the other side. Party immediately goes into crisis mode. They like Vrock, would even be willing to do a lot of things for him, but after some discussion, it seems jumping into Hell after him isn't one of those things. Then Ballsi jumps in after him, deciding that he can do two things; help the Sentinels and help the Bard. The rest of the party reluctantly follows suit, all making the 150 ft drop.
Vrock's player proceeds to roll up a new character, a Battlemaster called John Bastille, as Vrock has perished from the fall. Decides that his character is trapped in Hell as punishment for trying to lead a Revolution against his liege-lord. This is session 1 of 2. And the short part of the story.
Next week, we start off with every character noticing that they are alone, in a different part of the first level of Hell. Snek is on a smooth plain, next to the River Styx, which I descride with varying bits of Flotsam and decayed flesh and a very, very acidic smell. Noren is on a rocky outcrop, overlooking the ancient battlefields strewn with dead and broken pieces of armor and weapons. Ballsi is in a howling cave, with the wind biting at his skin. None of them have any idea where they are, or where their party members are. John Bastille is currently locked in a prison in Hell, being tortured by a rather large and disgustingly ugly beast.
Noren immediately starts picking out equipment in the battlefield that he can wear, and uses his disguise kit to hide himself. Rolls a 23 to make it convincing that he belongs here. Proceeds to skirt around the edge of the legion of devils, searching for the portal that he had come through. Manages to make my hordes of devils and demons look like children playing hide and seek with a trained spy.
Snek decides to follow the river downstream, hoping it would lead him to some sort of civilazation. After a few miles walk, he spots the basalt citadel of Zariel, with the river splitting and acting as a moat for the fortress. Asks if there is a bridge that spans the gap and sees one, covered with enemies currently marching out of the gates. Decides that he will try and swim, so sticks his hand in the water to see if its safe. Ask him to roll a Con save. Nat 1's it, but has a +8 modifier, so I ask him to make an Wis save (his Wis is 9). Rolls a 2. So it takes him a moment to notice that his skin is starting to dissolve (ever stick your hand in hot water, and it feels cold for a second?), and lets out a huge howl that echoes across the landscape. He goes down to about 35 HP.
Ballsi lands in a pitch black cavern (no darkvision). Can't see, so decides to use dancing lights to illuminate his way. Spends quite a bit of time tumbling every which way, before finding the exit, but not before being ambushed by 3 Hell Hounds. He manages to kill them, but they take him down from 85ish to 30ish HP. Drinks a couple health potions as he steps out into the light of Hell. Sees he is on the edge of a mountain range, with no river in sight, but a contingent of demons marching Eastward.
John Bastille is chained up to a wall, being tortured. While he is there, uses his ability Know Your Enemy to find out the demon torturing him is cocky and sure of himself, so he challenges him to a game of Dice, for his freedom or his soul, rolls 17 for persuasion. Demon relunctantly agrees, promising HE would let him free. Game is best of Five rolls. First two rolls go to the Demon, with John taking the last two. On the fifth one, the Demon rolls a 15 to John 11, so he asks if he can sleight of hand the result. I say sure, and he rolls a 16, managing to get past the Demons 12 perception and rerolls his dice. Nat 20's it. (These 20's get ridiculous by the end of the night.) John books it, deciding to stop by the armory and try to pick up his weapons, but proceeds to run into Every. Single. Patrol. Books it to the exit instead. When he gets there, he manages to convince one of the guards outside to open the door (Guard 1 rolled a 16 for insight, Guard 2 rolled a 1), and barrels past out into the open, staring down the edge of a cliff, with a small goat path being the only way down the 500 feet. Decides he has nothing to lose, so starts picking his way down.
As Noren is scouting around, trying to find the way out, he hears Sneks' howl, and starts off towards the sound, also following the river.
As Snek is desperately trying to figure out someway to stop his arm from dissolving, 4 bearded Devils come over to investigate, managing to sneak up on Snek. He decides to Rage so he won't be surprised and we roll initiative. As a Barbarian, he gets advantage, and rolls 1's on both die. Devils go first, and knock him down to 23 HP. Snek pulls out his Javelins, and does a good job a hurting one of them. Next round, the Devils get him down to 14 HP. He decides to use reckless attack, and rolls a 14 and a crit on the first attack. 1 dies. Second attack rolls crit's on both die. Asks to make one more attack (House rule for 3 Nat 20s is instakill). Rolls a fucking 9 and a crit. Manages to kill the 3 unhurt devils in one round, and kills the other in a Opportunity Attack as it tries to run away. About a minute later, Noren runs up, sees Snek's now mostly fleshy arm, and cuts it off. Feeds him all their health pots. Ask Snek to roll a Con save against the shock. Gets a 25. (By this point I'm done with Snek and his stupid luck.)
Back to John, he picks his way down the cliff, nearly falling himself but managing to catch himself before he plummets. All the Barbed devils chasing him roll below a 10 on their Dex checks, and he successfully kills them all by being the only one to hold on to the rock. He gets to the bottom and notices a human standing off about 100 feet away from him at the mouth of a small cave. Investigates and finds Ballsi, whom both become fast friends, being the only ones in Hell and not a demon.
They decide to follow the contingent of Demons Ballsi saw earlier, deducting that they must be marching towards the portal out of here. They decide to skirt around the edge, trying to stay out of sight and away from anymore patrols. Both roll a 6 for stealth. So as they are trying to duck down behind the small ravines and large boulders around the area, they run into a Succubus and Incubus . Neither side attacks right away, and John tries to skirt around them, being as diplomatic as possible. Succubus asks him to stay awhile and enjoy one more sin before he leaves, trying to charm him. John saves, and declines. Incubus walks over to Ballsi, offering him some beer. Ballsi fails the save. Then fails his first Indomitable. Then fails the second one too. Decides a beer is a great idea as it's fucking hot in Hell. Succubus realizes John isn't failing for it and decides to attack, but misses easily. John spends his turn trying to get Ballsi to snap out of it, before deciding to just attack back, managing to do some damage. Ballsi is next up, and attacks John six times, critting twice. Deals 70 damage in one round, dropping John to -3, killing the new player who had only been alive in this world for about 30 minutes. Two characters in two sessions for this player. Ballsi is then murdered by the twins, enjoying his untimely demise all the way. 2 of 4 out for the count.
Back to Noren and Snek. Noren uses his disguise kit on Snek, dressing him up the same as himself. Rolls a 26 for it. On their way back up the river, Noren finds a War Pick, and decides that it'd be a great idea to tie it to Snek's now stubby arm. As they get closer to the hub of demon activity, they decide to climb up the side of the mountain to stay away from the hordes walking along the ravine, the only known way in or out of the valley up ahead.
A few climb checks later, they managed to find the valley itself, and notice in the center, in the midst of a Stonehenge type ruin, is the Portal they came through. Surrounding the ruins is a small lake, with a single iron bridge connecting the two, on which a battle was currently being fought. They need to cross the river, so go back to a Rope bridge they saw earlier to try and cross, but run into a squad of demons guarding both ends. Noren goes up to convince the guards they are on important business, but as he has no idea about anything in Hell, I give him disadvantage. Rolls a 19 and a 20, for a 21 persuade. (While laughing his ass off "I'm sorry for breaking your game DM. I'm sorry I'm not letting you kill me." Grumble grumble) Demons roll a 19 insight, so they let them pass, with a lot of dirty looks and unconvinced minds. On the other side, the are stopped again. Tells these guys the same thing, rolls a 19 for persuade. Demons roll an 18. Gets off Scot-free. Drags the Barbarian with him.
Now they only have to get past the battle line. They manage to push their way to the front with some strength checks, and both take a 6th level Lightning Bolt to the face. Barbarian goes down to 1 thanks to Relentless Endurance, Rogue is now at 7 HP. Rogue dances his way over the line as the Barbarian charges through, ripping off their disguises and running into one of the Captains of the Sentinels, who is organizing the defense on this side of the Portal, trying to shut it down. Captain also happens to be Kainslys' sister (not mentioned yet) who has been searching for her for 3 years, and had just recently been re-united for a brief hour conversation. Captain tells the two to get through the Portal (they're useless anyway now, everything is spent), but before they do, the run into two Teiflings and the Erinyes, who have just stepped through. All of them are bloodied and breathing heavily. Noren asks what these two are doing here (as he had met them previously a few times and currently had a mutual beneficial deal with them), and they tell him they are hear on business. Offer to let Noren and Snek live, if he promises to fulfil his end of the bargain. Noren agrees, and they both jump through the Portal, which promptly shut behind them.
(Almost done, I swear.) Now Kainsly (whose player had not been here the week previous) was on the other side of the portal as it closed, watching Noren and Snek come through, both basically dead men walking. He is currently invisible, as he was not a fighter, and was trying to find a way through to save his sister from what he thought was a fate forced on her.
He waited until Noren and Snek were alone, and cast Sleep on Noren, asking Snek to trust him for the time being. He thens takes the three of them off to the edge of the woods, away from the Temple Complex. About 15 minutes later, they both hear a Dragon swoop down from the sky, destroying the Temple, and presumably burying everyone inside. (The Sentinels have effectively been destroyed.)
Kainsly casts Mordenkain Magic Mansion, and Snek promptly falls asleep. Kainsly then ties up Noren in a dungeon, and waits for him to wake up to interogate him. He then discovers * 1. Noren had gone into Hell with the rest of the Party. * 2. Noren had not come out with the rest of the Party. * 3. Noren had run into Kainsly's sister on the other side of the Portal. * 4. Noren and Snek had decided to not help his sister against the Teiflings and Erinyes * 5. Had known something 'big' (the Dragon attack) was going to happen during his meeting with the Teiflings and Dragonborn. * 6. Had not decided to share any of this information with the Party.
As Noren had already had plenty of blood on his hands, and Kainsly's inability to react rationally in regards to bad news about his sister, Kainsly killed him. (Yay 4th PvP death in this campaign.) Kainsly's then went and got a full nights sleep.
At breakfast the next day, Kainsly decided to break the news about Noren's death to Snek, who was the only person Snek considered a friend. As Kainsly was finshing up, Snek decided he had heard enough. His supposed 'ally' had executed his friend for things outside his control, and subsequently threw his handaxe at him. Fucker crits, again, dropping Kainsly 33 HP out of 90, to 57. Kainsly responds with a 7th level Lightning Bolt, doing a measly 25 damage, thanks to Rage. Snek then uses a bonus action to bitchslap Kainsly with his War Pick hand, and crits. Deals another 39 damage, dropping Kainsly to 18 HP. He then hits him twice with his Hand Axe, dealing 13 and 8 damage, effectively ending Kainsly, and my entire party. The Mansion spits them out as the spell fails, and Snek gathers himself and some belongings, and walks off to "Became a fucking Pirate, cause fuck this Good guy bullshit."
Best Night ever.
Afterwards, we were talking about how this all started, and we all ask why Vrock had decided to float out over the Cavern floor.
Vrock's player. "What? Because Snek said he pushed me, and I decided I'd just fucking Fly cause I hadn't used it yet."
Sneks' Player. "What?! I was kidding dude; it was just a joke. I didn't actually mean it."
Vrock's Player. "I totally thought it was legit. I was drunk, you can't expect me to know you were kidding."
Our 1 year and 3 month campaign ended last night, all because of a joke that got taken too far.
I feel dead inside, and now I've got to create and entire new campaign to start for next weekend.
Because of a bad joke.

Premier League tie between Wigan Athletic and Manchester United
Date: 1st January 2013
Kick off GMT: 15:00 GMT
GMT converter
Venue: DW Stadium
Referee: Andre Marriner
Manchester United FC starting XI:
De Gea; Rafael, Ferdinand, Evans, Evra; Young, Carrick, Cleverley, Giggs; van Persie, Hernandez
SUBS: Lindegaard Smalling Vidic Scholes Valencia Kagawa Welbeck
Wigan Athletic starting XI:
Al Habsi; Ramis, Caldwell, Figueroa; Boyce, McCarthy, McArthur, Beausejour; Di Santo, Maloney, Kone
SUBS: Pollitt, Jones, Gomez, McManaman, Boselli, Stam, Golobart
Stream(s):
http://www.viplivesports.eu/football/118125/1/wigan-athletic-vs-manchester-united-%E2%80%8E-live-stream-online.html
Related threads:
Pre Match Thread
Team news:
Rafa returns to RB
Ferdinand replaces Vidic who sits on the bench
Giggs joins the midfield, with Ashley Young taking Valencia's place on the right, Valencia's dip in form noticeable and he's benched.
Kagawa not risked from the start which is dissapointing.
Hernandez partners RVP up front.
Match events:
Reddit-stream
Kick off at 15:00 GMT
Thought I'd give hubwub a break.
The teams are walking out of the tunnel. How many ad breaks does ESPN need?!!?
Here we go! United kicking left to right in the first half.
1' United players hounding Wigan players on the ball. Rio concedes a free kick for holding Kone.
2' Hernandez flagged offside from a lofted ball deep in midfield
3' Evans flattens Di Santo. Free kick 30 yards out.
5' RVP fed the ball in the centre circle and picks out Hernandez with a long ball but Hernandez tries to shoot from a near impossible angle and easily saved.
7' Lots of sloppy possesion from United, giving the ball away.
10' United breakl and Ashey Young pinballs into the box somehow but his ball across the face of goal is past everyone.
11' Hernandez has the ball in the back of the net after a peach of ball from Giggs but it's ruled out for offside.
17' Rafael with a bursting run from RB and looks for Hernandez with a cross but it's very very over-hit.
21' Possesion is so sloppy. From both teams. Just giving the ball to each other.
27' Not much going on to be honest with you. RVP chest down a ball from Giggs and tries to trick his way past Wigan players, eventually loses it.
28' Giggs showing his footballing talent is still there even without his pace, he finds Cleverley in some space who then feeds Giggs again who fizzes in a ball straight in front of Al habsi but Figueroa clears, could've gone anywhere.
29' Kone bursts into our half on the break and Jonny Evans somehow catches up with him and intercepts. Great great defending.
30' Ashley Young wins a free kick near the throw in line. RVP swings it in and its a perfect delivery, some chaos in the box as Al Habsi loses it, and somehow its poked wide with 3 United players waiting to smash it in.
32' Rafael free on the right, burst down the wing and cuts inside before unleashing a shot that trouble's Al Habsi and scooped out.
34' United dominating.
35' GOAL!!! JAVIERRRRRR HERRRNANDEZZZ!!! Rafael with an amazing interception from a Wigan break, basically launching his whole body at the ball to give it to Cleverley who passes to Evra, who hits a decent shot at Al Habsi and he can only push it out to Hernandez who has a tap in. Great goal.
40' United looking to build on that goal but the momentum of the past few minutes seems to have gone missing.
42' WHAT. A. GOAL. TAKE A BOW, ROBIN VAN PERSIE. RVP picked out in the area, has three players to beat, feints past one to get it on his left foot, dummys again onto his right and fires it in to the far post with Al Habsi rooted to the spot. Amazing goal. 2-0.
44' Hernandez has the ball in the net again but he's flagged offside...Again.
HT! Wigan Athletic 0 - 2 Manchester United
(Hernandez 35' Van Persie 42')
And we're back for the 2nd half.
48' Nothing had changed with possession as nobody can keep hold of it still! Poor passing.
50' A poor pass from a Wigan defender gives RVP the ball who immediately picks out Hernandez but he's pushed wide and decides to shoot again and he slices it high and wide.
53' United looking for a breakthrough through Wigan's nervy looking defence. Being very patient.
55' Some delightful play including a backheel from Giggs and an eye of the needle pass from RVP deserved a better finish in their box.
56' It's all us whenever they have the ball we're winning it back before they can even leave their half.
58' United fans breathe a thankful breath as Kone finishes a great ball and Wigan think they're back in it, but the flag is up and it's offside!
60' Young with a peach of a ball to Hernandez, Al Habsi bottles it but Hernandez can only hit it just over! Very close.
62' Rafael's bursts from defence have been lethal today. He just glides over the grass and wins a freekick just outside the area, central. RVP to take.
63' GOAL!! HERNANDEZ AGAIN! RVP's free kick is pretty shite, it bounces off the wall and falls to Hernandez on the penalty spot, who rifles it past Al Habsi. 3-0.
67' Close from RVP. Weaves past a few players before unleashing a trademark left footed shot but it's just over. What a goal that would've been.
68' SUB UNITED: Kagawa ON, Carrick OFF...Smalling ON, Ferdinand OFF
69' SUB WIGAN: Caldwell OFF, Stam ON...Di Santo OFF, Gomez ON.
70' The DW is rocking with United songs. 5 Cantonas!!
76' Young appears to be limping.
78' SUB United: Young OFF, Welbeck ON.
80' Evra darting into the box but his cross is cleared.
81' Booking for Smalling as he brings down Kone, looked like he was last man.
82' Gomez with a freekick that half the stadium thought was in. Goes wide, but great technique.
84' Kagawa has been pretty in-effective since he came on.
85' SUB Wigan: Maloney OFF, McManaman ON
88' And its 4! GOAL VAN PERSIE. Great interplay from the three strikers, Hernandez with an amazing reverse pass to Rafael who aims the ball at RVP but it's intercepted but Welbeck hounds them and the two Wigan defenders run into each other and Welbeck is free to square the ball to an unmarked RVP finshes into the bottom corner. Cool as you like, 4-0.
FT. Wigan Athletic 0 - 4 Manchester United
(Hernandez 35' 63, Van Persie 42' 88)